#crack fanfic

[smtere]

-> how MHA messes up their confession to their crush (and still somehow manage to get a date..?):

includes : todoroki and bakugou

a/n: hope everyone is having a great day, this is how I imagine they fuck up their confessions to their crush - but they are adorable so ofc they get away with it.

todoroki : oblivious to everything , even if his crush makes it super obvious he won’t realise. wasn't until he overhead a bunch of people talking about it, and he was like *wait a damn second* THEY’VE LIKED ME ALL THIS TIME?! even after that he’s a little sceptical so his friends would definitely need to convince him to get over it and just ask. would be super shy to confess even though he literally knows that they like him too .. he plans to go up to them after to school and ask directly if they wanna maybe go out and get something to eat but in the end he chickens out and slips them a note that just says "wanna go get cold soba after school". his crush is so confused because he’s just standing in a corner (attempting to hide) watching them with the most expressionless face ever (internally he is absolutely dying) waiting for them to finish reading the note.

bakugo : definitely tries to act all rough around them but when he finds out that they like him too he is like a puppy inside. cue him trying to act cool but failing miserably. for some unknown reason goes up to his poor crush and confidently decides to say "I know you like me", ends up saying it in a weirdly aggressive voice by accident so his crush is just there super freaked out, seeing their lack of reaction he just kind of does an awkward cough and says in a slightly quieter (and less aggressive) voice “umm we could like go get some food after school.. if you want... its okay if you don't.. I-". yeah, not exactly his proudest moment..

a/n: as I edit this I realise how much shorter bakugous part is.. ooops, anyways. As always requests are always open and have a lovely morning/afternoon/night!

[1-8oo-wtfbro]

idea for a fic: Jason loses his memory after the pit, right, and instead of training him like she did, Talia sees a opportunity. She wants them both (her two sons, Jason and Damian) to live normal lives, so she send them to Gotham, with Jason under the impression that he’s just a normal guy who’s raising his little brother. Sure he still has like, training, but he doesn’t know it.

no, he’s always had super good reflexes ma’am, here’s the cup that u were ab to drop. No, he doesn’t really work out a lot, but he can totally help with those he groceries.

Damian, of course, is rlly young, but still has some training (Jason is always taking the knives from him, and telling him not to ‘play’ with them), and does his best to ‘protect’ his big brother.

and coincidentally, Jason gets a great job

At. Wayne. Enterprises.

[littlesarcasticdemon]

Okay so we all know the fics where stiles is kicked out of the pack or the ones where he kind of just becomes part of Derek’s pack after the torture incident really just Scott being a bad friend

Anyway just imagine how funny that shit looks from an outside view like imagine being his classmate and living like across the road from him just being confused why someone who was previously wanted for murder is practically living at the stilinski house or like a person who is known to be dead(Peter) one day just walking out of stiles house or like witnessing Erica Boyd and Isaac sticking to stiles and constantly like touching him at school or like one day this person like overhears one of the pack or Liam calling him mum or whatever

Like I feel like it would be so funny to read just the utter confusion and like I have got to find out what the fuck is happening of that

[sarafinamk]

Fallen Angel 50 Incorrect Quotes Special

The Smiling Critters Space Riders Au and the character Z belongs to @onyxonline

If you haven't checked out the Fallen Angel (Reader Insert) series, you can check out Part 1 and Part 2 here. You, the reader, will be referred to as both (Y/n) and Archangel.

Right now, I need to focus on writing my thesis paper, so I'm not sure when Part 3 will be posted. In the meantime, enjoy this crackfic as an Easter present. Some quotes will contain slight spoilers for future chapters. 😉 Enjoy.

----------

*During a training session*

Hoppy: Fight me, you nerd ass punk!

Archangel: At least TRY to sound sophisticated when you threaten someone.

Kickin: Dost thou wish to engage in a duel, my good bITCH?!

Archangel: *Facepalms* Somehow, that was worse...

----------

Bobby: Are you having another depressive episode?

Archangel: A depressive episode?

Archangel: I'm having a depressive series and we're just on season one.

--------

Z: What's wrong with you?

Archangel: Off the top of my head, I'd say low self-esteem, a lack of paternal affection, and a genetic predisposition for anxiety and depression.

----------

Crafty: How’s training going?

Archangel: Terrible. I want to stab everybody there.

Crafty: Okay, just don’t get any blood on your clothes.

Bobby: ...you shouldn’t be condoning this.

Crafty: Don’t tell me how to live my life.

----------

Archangel: Yesterday, I overheard the Captain saying “Are you sure this is a good idea?” and Hoppy replying “Trust me,” and I have never moved from one room to another so quickly in my life.

----------

Archangel: Helpful grammar tip: “farther” is for physical distance, “further” is for methaphorical distance, and “father” is for emotional distance!

----------

Archangel: raises eyebrows

Dogday: Put those back down!

----------

Archangel: Problem, I can't tell if this food is over-sauced or undercooked.

Kickin: Solution, just pop it back in the oven for another 10 minutes. There's at least a 50% chance that'll fix it, right?

Bubba: Result? Food has somehow become unpleasantly soggy and unpleasantly crunchy at the exact same time.

Hoppy: No better time than this to pull out my favorite word! Slunchy!

Picky: …put it away.

----------

Picky: One time I went to hand (Y/n) a bowl of soup. I wanted to say “Careful, it’s hot!”, and “Here’s your soup!”, so instead I blurted out “Careful it’s soup.”

----------

*Preparing for a mission*

Hoppy: Okay, who's turn is it to give the pep talk?

Catnap: It's (Y/n)'s turn.

Archangel: Don't die.

Kickin, wiping a tear away: Truly inspirational.

----------

Archangel: I can't take you seriously wearing that.

Kickin: Aw, you take me seriously at all?

Archangel: Fair point.

----------

Dogday: My level of gay has reached “sighing deeply whenever anything extremely heterosexual happens near me”.

----------

Archangel to Bubba: How do you tell someone politely you want to hit them with a brick?

----------

Dogday: If I say I love you, will you say it back?

Z: Yes.

Dogday: I love you.

Z: It back.

*Later*

Archangel: Why is the Captain crying face-down on the floor?

----------

*the Space Riders at Disneyland, in the teacups*

Crafty, Bobby, Bubba, and Picky: *spinning a little and talking*

Dogday, Catnap, Kickin, and Hoppy: *flying past them, spinning as fast as they can, screaming*

----------

Hoppy: I've done a lot of dumb stuff.

Dogday: I witnessed the dumb stuff.

Catnap: I recorded the dumb stuff.

Kickin: I joined you in the dumb stuff.

Archangel: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!

----------

Archangel: This is a bad idea.

Hoppy: Then why are you coming along?

Archangel: Someone has to get your injured ass home.

----------

Archangel: I feel awful about killing you.

Z:

Archangel: Even though technically you never even died, so I don’t know what you’re bitching about.

----------

Dogday: Hoppy, don’t go picking a fight with (Y/n). Don’t forget, they’re powerful, they could make life difficult for you.

Hoppy: Wow, I wonder what it'd be like to have a difficult life.

----------

Dogday: I’m so happy both angels are getting along now.

Catnap: Uh, Z and (Y/n) are not getting along.

Dogday: They’re not trying to kill each other.

Catnap: You may have a point.

----------

Archangel: The universe is cold and unfeeling. The only constant is chaos.

Picky: Was Kissy's place out of chocolate-chip pancakes again?

----------

Kickin: Yeah, I find it quite emotional. In like a cool way.

Archangel: Did you just say it makes you cry in a cool way?

----------

Archangel, proudly: I slept.

Catnap: Is that so much of a rare thing that you have to say it?

----------

Archangel: You're a lying piece of shit!

Hoppy: Oh yeah? You're the idiot that thinks you can get away with everything you do, WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD!

Dogday: I'm leaving and I'm taking Catnap with me!

Bubba, gathering cards: Aaaaand that's enough Monopoly for today.

----------

Poppy: It’s funny how well you and the Archangel get along. Didn’t they hate you at first?

Dogday: (Y/n) hates everybody at first. It’s their way of reaching out to people.

----------

Bobby: lifting weights

Kickin: Wow… She's so intense!

Archangel: I wonder what drives her.

Bobby, internally: Oh I am going to be SO good at giving hugs.

----------

*First two chapters of "Fallen Angel" summarized*

Archangel: I'm allergic to death.

----------

Archangel: Hoppy, I don’t think I can handle any more of your tomfuckery.

Hoppy: Oh yeah? Well I can keep going until you’re all tomfuckered out!

----------

Hoppy: (Y/n), what are you doing tomorrow?

Archangel: Having my day ruined by whatever you’re about to ask me to do.

----------

Archangel: Someone will die.

Dogday: Of fun!

----------

Something crashes

Hoppy: Shoot-

Bobby: running into the room in a panic WHAT FELL?!

Archangel: walking by the room calmly What died?

----------

Archangel: Can you be serious for five minutes?

Kickin: My record is four, but I think I can do it.

----------

Someone with a gun to Archangel's head: What happens if I pull this trigger? Heaven?

Archangel: Bold of you to assume I'll go to Heaven.

----------

Catnap: I like to play this game called nap roulette. I take a nap and don’t set an alarm. Will it be 20 min or 4 hours? Nobody knows. It’s risky and I like it.

----------

Z: When did you become a hero?

Archangel: Um… the moment I saved you from getting killed.

Z: You’re the last person in the galaxy I wanted to rescue me.

Archangel: Well… sucks to be you, don’t it.

----------

Bubba: It’s just that lollipop sticks last longer than the head, even if they’re less flavorful. I’m thinking of paper sticks, because you can peel off the layers with your teeth or leave it there until they fall off naturally, but plastic sticks can be chewed on too or left sticking out like a cigarette. Paper straws can be eaten layer by layer over time though, so they have the edge.

Hoppy, bored: Can’t we just leave while he's distracted?

Archangel, genuinely interested: But what about wooden sticks?

Hoppy: I hate you.

----------

Archangel: I am convinced the Captain and Catnap share a brain cell.

Archangel: And it's not in use very often, it seems.

----------

Archangel: Why am I the bad guy?

Kickin: I don't know, why am I the pretty one? We all have our thing.

----------

Archangel: We’re having a moment, aren’t we?

Z: If by 'a moment' you mean me not wanting to strangle you for the first time since we met, then I guess we are.

----------

Kickin: Dumbest scar stories, go!

Picky: I burned my tongue once drinking tea.

Crafty: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and it burned.

Bubba: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade.

Bobby: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it in my hand and I got a really bad burn.

Archangel: I have emotional scars.

----------

Dogday: What leaves a bigger memory than a passionate kiss?

Archangel: A stab wound.

----------

Archangel: I sense hostility.

Z: Good, because I hate you.

----------

Archangel: slams down an absolute doorstopper of a tome I checked this out weeks ago for a bit of light reading.

Hoppy: This is light?!

----------

Archangel: What’s up with the Captain? He's been laying on the floor for like….an hour now?

Bobby: He's just a little overwhelmed.

Archangel: Why?

Catnap: Z smiled at him.

----------

Literally anyone: Go to hell!

Archangel: Where do you think I come from?

----------

Hoppy: Just trust me. Have I ever put you in an unsafe or uncomfortable situation?

Archangel: All the time.

Hoppy: Then you should be used to it by now.

----------

Archangel: I’m so tired.

Bubba: Did you get to bed late?

Archangel: No.

Bubba: Did you do something strenuous?

Archangel: No.

Bubba: Then why are you tired?

Archangel: I’m alive.

Bubba: Sounds exhausting.

----------

Archangel: Dear Diary, my teen angst bullshit has a body count.

----------

A cult member: Didn't you die?!

Archangel: That was weeks ago. Things change.

----------

Archangel: I’d kill someone if you asked me to.

Dogday: I’m pretty sure you’d kill someone even if I didn’t ask you to.

[pyeonghongrie]

[15:54]

Summary: The opposite of the "one bed" trope.

Characters/Pairing(s): San X Reader

Genre: Crack

AUs/Trope info: Non-Idol!AU, Co-workers!AU, Company retreat

Word Count: 203

Warnings: None???

Rating: PG

A/N: repost from my old blog @hwasrie, I am reuploading my own work, I did not plagiarize.

You and a co-worker walk up to reception, the company retreat was that week and they gave you a day to settle into your rooms and rest. As you and San greet the guy working at reception, he gave you one key.

"Uh, excuse me, why did you only give one key?" You ask, you hoped that it was an innocent mistake on the company's part, "Ah, it says here that you are both assigned one room. Does there seem to be a problem?" He askes, you both nod, "Uh, that's doesn't make sense, this was supposed to be a company retreat." San says, equally as uncomfortable as you are. "I'm sorry sir, we can't do anything about it."

Both of you sigh, too tired to argue. Both of you thank the receptionist as you walk towards your shared room.

When you open the door, you see six single beds.

"Huh, just when I thought we were going to have a 'one bed' cliché, it turns out we have too many beds." He says, both of you laugh and decided to push the beds together to make two giant beds on opposite sides of the room.

The retreat went smoothly without any incident.

Tags: @kwanisms, @yoonguurt, @shinestarhwaa, @stardragongalaxy, @wooyoungmybelovedhusband, @anyamaris, @dimpledsatan, @haosweater, @starlitmark, @seongwin, @midnxght-sky, @nebulousbookshelf, @piratequeen-queenofgames, @northerngalxy, @yourfatherlucifer, @twisted-tales-of-all, @seumiley, @pocketsky

Network Tags: @cultofdionysusnet, @wonderlandnet, @kflixnet

Strikethrough: cannot tag

[minty364]

DPXDC Prompt #98

Danny had a pretty shit life. He was adopted at age 8 after Ra’s slit his throat and his mother threw him into the lazurus pit at the last second. His adopted mom Maddie liked ghosts way more than his adopted dad Jack thought she did. So when Vlad revealed he was half ghost she left Jack for him. Jack in his grief of losing his wife swears all ghosts to be evil especially Vlad. Danny does his best to hide everything from his dad but Jack has started to notice that Danny has some odd behavior from time to time.

Jack decides it’s time for him and his son to leave Amity Park for a while and head to the only other city that they were considering moving too because of the ambient ectoplasm. An invention goes wrong shortly after they move into their apartment and Danny finds himself switching bodies with his twin.

Waking up in Wayne manor was a shock for Danny he didn’t know his brother got adopted by Bruce Wayne, he’s got to sneak out of here and make it back to the apartment as soon as he can so he can switch them back he just hopes his twin won’t assume the worst with his dad.

Waking up in his supposed long dead twins body was a shock for Damian, but apparently he wasn’t at least that’s how he felt when he first woke up but their were several things going on here that didn’t make sense about his twins body. For one his body temperature was way lower than it should be, Damian didn’t need to breathe as much, and it seemed his twin somehow despite not carrying the meta gene developed powers that he very much had difficulty controlling. He’s got to get to his twin he assumes is probably also very confused at the moment.

[veethewriter]

Can I make a Twisted Wonderland request pls?

(If so, here it is: Yuu/MC decides to prank the NRC Staff by switching up Crowley's PowerPoint Presentation of potential changes to the school with the "Never Gonna Give You Up" song/aka getting Rick Rolled. Ofc, none of the staff know how to turn off the computer, so let the chaos ensue 😎)

Thank you anyway!

Of course! This is like a crack fic so it's just for fun! Nothing serious. Also I don't write this often so sorry if it's bad.

Everyone had gathered at the purple stage per Crowley's request. It was time for his once a year run over plan, what events would happen and so forth. Of course there always had to be something mischievous happening in the background and this time it was actually coming from our Ramshackle perfect instead of the other students.

Of course she had to set up her little prank first and that meant getting someone to watch over grim for a couple of minutes while finding out when Crowley wasn't in his office. Telling you had to go to the bathroom during lunch and making him watch grim, knowing grim wouldn't want to leave his food. Of course having chosen the day Crowley had also chosen to go out to eat for lunch. You had set your prank into action, quickly doing what you needed to do and leaving before anyone could catch you, now you just had to wait for the chaos to begin.

Everyone was now sat down and waiting for the two hour long boring presentation of the same school events they did every year. However as Crowley had turned on the presentation, all the blasted through the speakers was - "never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you!"

Then the panic comes, all the beast men covering their ears from the loud music and Crowley plus all the other teachers trying to figure out how to shut it off quickly. Of course no one else probably understands this joke so you're the only one holding in your laughter. Eventually they get some of the students from Ignihyde to shut it off. Then more madness ensues everyone mad trying to figure out who did it, but of course no one suspects it's you, knowing your one that always solves the problems not beginning them....

[aro-ace-of-spades]

And I'll leave it again! Bitch

[sorryiwasasleep]

Superman is an Anti-Vaxxer?! Chapter 1

Bruce and Clark are discussing their relationships next steps and how to handle the publicity that comes with being in a relationship with Bruce Wayne, when Clark worries about his past affecting Bruce's reputation.

Bruce thinks that's laughable, because how could farmboy turned reporter Clark Kent ruin debauched playboy Bruce Wayne's reputation.

Then Clark tells him something that Bruce never in a million years saw coming.

Superman is an anti-vaxxer.

Or, well, he's not in belief and ethics, but on paper?

Clark Kent is a documented anti-vaxxer with exemptions for himself from one's required for work, and most recently, a documented exemption for his son Connor from the one's required for school. Cited as being for religious beliefs and never questioned too hard before, which is good since they actually need it for impenetrable skin.

But now he's dating the CEO of the company that essentially runs healthcare in Gotham.

The Batfamily are told and make fun of Clark.

Like, a lot.

But also, they help with a plan and things work out both for Bruce and Clark's relationship and reputations.

[anonymousqualities]

IYO: How unhinged does a story need to be for it to be tagged as Crack? 😂

I feel I don't use the tag properly lol. I use it for whenever I dont elaborate on the story's lore and the reader is just thrown into it.

But then I feel I could have just said it was plotless? Or should it be crack treated seriously..?

*takes a cigarette drag from a pretzel stick* so what is a crack fic really...🧐

[hollister-mc]

STOP SO HERE ME OUT- My partner and I were talking about robots and shii, so what if-

Reader bangs Auto (YES AUTO FROM WALL-E JUST SHUT UP AND LISTEN) Bros the auto pilot right? so he's a wheel, don't even ask me how you could bang the wheel dawg theres so many ways. Anyway THEY'RE GOING AT IT, RIGHT? AND SOMETHING HAPPENS AND AUTO FUCKIN STARTS SPINNING- SO THE ENTIRE SHIP JUST GETS TOSSED AROUND, AND EVERYONES LIKE WTF?! AND READER AND AUTO AFTERWARDS ARE LIKE "Uh sorry everyone, we exountered some... asteroids..." OR JUST SOME SILLY SHIT LIKE THAT.

i wanna write it lowkey, like a crack fic that takes itself seriously, you know what I mean? Lemme know if I should curse us all with it.

[silkendandelion]

So what animals are y’alls Tavs turning into for those polymorph/wild magic/wild shape crack shenanigans?

We know Astarion’s a goose, Karlach is a mean goat, Gale’s probably a cat/tressym, Minthara’s a displacer beast—

Dayedan is definitely a fennec fox: he’s 30% ears, 30% rage, 40% concentrated power of will. If Karlach is herself, he’s playing keep away from her because quote “I don’t CARE if that fox is actually a grown man, I will DIE if I don’t smooch his pointy little face” unqoute

They have to carry him around until the spell wears off because (like goostarion) he gets into too much trouble when left alone. Gale is scrambling to keep ahold of him as he squirms like a pissed off ferret

NPC: Oh! They’re adorable, can I pet them?

Gale: That’s extremely ill-advised, actually. He’s bitten several people just today and he will bite again.

Addition:

After he’s done being FURIOUS that he, a respectable artificer and wizard was turned into an adorable little creature and smooched within an inch of his life by a very pushy tiefling—he has a bit of an existential crisis that the spell is taking so long to wear off

Image credit: Zayyded on Reddit

[blue-deneb]

*realizes both venom and princess diaries are set in san francisco* *instantly imagines a slice of life with eddie brock and his symbiote/spouse venom co-parenting mia thermopolis*

[bloodkrieg21]

Number 4

[sarafinamk]

Fallen Angel Incorrect Quotes Part 2: Electric Boogaloo

Warning: Cursing

The Smiling Critters Space Riders Au and the character "Z" belongs to @onyxonline

If you haven't checked out the Fallen Angel (Reader Insert) series, you can check out the Masterlist here. The reader will be referred to as both (Y/n) and Archangel. Enjoy!

----------

*Archangel trying on a new outfit*

Crafty: Do you or do you not feel bonita?

Archangel:

Archangel: I feel bonita.

Crafty: Wonderful! Because you look bonita!

----------

Bobby: The reason why you hate physical contact even though you're extremely touch deprived is because it's been so long since you felt loving physical contact from another living being that your brain misperceives it as a threat.

Archangel:

Bobby:

Bobby: So Picky brought home this raspberry lemonade-

----------

*One of the many, MANY fights before the events of Fallen Angel*

Archangel: You'd be stupid to lay a hand on me.

Hoppy: Oh, you'd be surprised how much stupid shit I do.

----------

Archangel: If bees can be fish and boys can be girls, then why can't my dad love me?

Hoppy: I thought I was going to have to yell at you, but now I think I should hug you.

----------

Bobby: A party is a celebration of life, bringing people together to let the guest of honor know how much they're loved. (Y/n) has done so much for us. This is our chance to do something for them.

Bubba: By forcing them to have fun at a party that they don't want to be at?

Bobby: I knew you'd understand.

----------

Archangel: Still not over how yesterday when we landed, Hoppy said we arrived 50 minutes early because she took some "shortcuts."

Archangel: Excuse me, we were in space, what do you mean???

----------

Archangel: I desire moisture.

Picky: Please just say "I want water" like a normal person.

----------

Hoppy: (Y/n) is mad at me, and I'm not sure why.

Bubba: Okay, did you talk before they got upset?

Hoppy: ...yes?

Bubba: That's probably it.

----------

Some fan: I wanna be an archangel!

Archangel: What the fuck do you want this shit for? I kill people, all right? Their blood is on my hands! Every night, when I go to sleep, I see their FUCKING faces staring at me! Their families weep, and I FEEL NOTHING! I'M DEAD INSIDE!

That same fan: Man, I want some of that in my life!

----------

Bubba: Don't weep for the stupid. You'll be crying all day.

----------

Archangel: There is no future. There is no past. Don't you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that people insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every fact.

Picky: ... All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first.

----------

Archangel: What is love?

Dogday: An emotional minefield.

Bubba: A neurochemical reaciton.

Kickin: Baby don't hurt me.

----------

Bubba: I have the sharpest memory here - name one time I forgot something!

Hoppy: You left me, (Y/n), and Catnap in a Walmart parking lot at 2 AM a day ago.

Bubba: I did that on purpose, try again.

----------

Archangel: I'm not funny, I'm just really mean and people think I'm joking.

----------

Z: You're alive.

Archangel: No need to sound so disappointed.

----------

Dogday: I'm going to ask you to be respectful.

Archangel: I will politely decline.

----------

Archangel: And I'd love to be sorry for that, but we all know I've done much, much worse.

----------

Picky: Don't worry, I've got a few knives up my sleeve.

Archangel: I think you mean cards.

Crafty: She did not.

Picky, pulling out knives: I did not.

----------

Archangel: I keep a picture of all of us in my wallet. Whenever I face difficulties, I take it out and stare at the picture.

The Space Riders: Awwww.

Archangel: And I tell myself "If I can deal with these idiots, then I can deal with anything."

The Space Riders: Oh.

----------

Archangel: Who the fuck-

Dogday: Language!

Archangel: Whom the fuck-

Dogday: No.

++++++++++

Author's Note: Now that I made a lot of progress with my thesis paper, I'm going to focus on finishing Chapter 3. I don't have an exact date, but it is coming soon. Thank you for your understanding.

[dr-rabbit-3]

"that one out of place Green Vine grew and grew and grew and he let it until he was more Vine than Rabbit..."

A doodle of dr.rabbit