#louisiana nevada also good

[jellogram]

Maaaaan I'm so tired of the way Quebec does liquor. I don't WANT to go to a little gov-owned boutique-style store and speak with a consultant and pay $50 CAD for a small bottle of nice whiskey. I am not that fancy. I am trash, okay? I am garbage. I want to walk a maximum of five minutes to the closest, scuzziest convenience store and buy a handle of the worst liquor ever distilled, just absolutely dogshit ethanol garbage, in a plastic bottle from a brand I've never heard of, and I want it to cost $10.99. This isn't a big ask come on now.

[floridagirlboy]

go check out @nevgovhater's marching band headcanons. done with that? ok. good. time for orchestra headcanons.

gov is the conductor. i need not say anything else.

1. ALABAMA — second violin. just strikes me as the type. he doesn't like to sit in the front or back, he prefers middle of the section.

2. ALASKA — double bass. specifically 2nd chair. he has the skill to be principal bassist but he has zero interest in being a section leader.

3. ARIZONA — cello. not sure why. i think they started out as a violinist, decided it wasn't for them, and then switched over to cello. they sit in the second row. 3rd or 4th chair.

4. ARKANSAS — first violin. in the back. got put into this class on accident and just hasn't switched out. used to be a second violin but switched sections later on. his old sectionmates haven't forgiven him.

5. CALIFORNIA — started out playing the viola. could not get along with them (they play around too much for his taste). accidentally broke his shoulder rest and that was the crucible for him switching to cello. he's a cellist.

6. COLORADO — viola, middle of the section. half-asleep at most rehearsals. people outside of the viola section forget he's there. always has an unreasonable amount of pencils on his person, all his section borrows them. only time he is not stoned is at a concert.

7. CONNECTICUT — concertmaster/principal first violinist/first chair. the kind of guy who slowly turns and stares at you after a song during rehearsal if you fucked up a chord really bad. will get onto his sectionmates for not bringing their stuff and say something like "next time i'm just not letting you borrow it" but he always does. he's a provider to his section. he cares about them a lot. same with the rest of the orchestra. just wants everyone to do their best. also he has tiny erasers on him to chuck at florida when he won't pay attention.

8. DELAWARE — second violinist, second chair. not sure why. just is.

9. FLORIDA — ...principal violist. he is the bane of gov's existence. main guy who drove california out of the viola section by being too silly but keeps begging him to come back. he has referred to this incident as the "viola section divorce", much to california's irritation, but he's started playing into the joke as well. he's a really good player but cannot focus to save his life. takes the most incomprehensible sheet music notes you've ever seen. you can't read half the notes on his sheet music because he wrote over them in the process of marking it. really good teacher to his section outside of the joking around way too much.

10. GEORGIA — second viola, has been florida's stand partner throughout all of orchestra. one of three people who can decipher florida's music (the other two being florida and louisiana; louisiana isn't even in their section, but florida taught him viola for funsies). dozes off immediately after rehearsal ends, but not during it.

11. HAWAI'I — first violin, second chair. chats with delaware sometimes since they sit next to each other. the only person she trusts to borrow her tuner, rosin, or cloth is alaska (and, lately, rhode island).

12. IDAHO — second violin.

13. ILLINOIS — first violin. i think he plays cello at home though.

14. INDIANA — cello.

15. IOWA — ..cello. maybe.

16. KANSAS — second violin or cello.

17. KENTUCKY — second violin or viola.

18. LOUISIANA — viola, second chair. florida's stand partner. he holds onto everything except the sheet music (which is surprisingly the only thing florida does not lose). actually joined orchestra because florida kept pestering him to. he got really good really quick because he has prior music experience.

19. MAINE — back of the bass section.

20. MARYLAND — clarinet

21. MASSACHUSETTS — first violin.

22. MICHIGAN — second violin.

23. MINNESOTA — first violin.

24. MISSISSIPPI — viola or second violin.

25. MISSOURI — viola.

26. MONTANA — second violin.

27. NEBRASKA — cello.

28. NEVADA — cello or first violin.

29. NEW HAMPSHIRE — cello.

30. NEW JERSEY — second violin.

31. NEW MEXICO — viola.

32. NEW YORK — cellist. wishes he was a violinist or violist sometimes but you'd have to waterboard that information out of him because he makes fun of the upper strings all the time.

33. NORTH CAROLINA — second violin. used to be a viola but switched over because his brother kept pissing him off.

34. NORTH DAKOTA — first violin. also switched sections to escape his sibling (former second violinist).

35. OHIO — viola.

36. OKLAHOMA — viola.

37. OREGON — first violin.

38. PENNSYLVANIA — first violin.

39. RHODE ISLAND — principal bassist. first chair because alaska doesn't wanna be there. he is so much fucking smaller than his bass that it's outright comedic. he sits on the stool to play and his feet don't even come close to the ground. perfectly capable of carrying his bass strength-wise but the size of it makes it a bitch, so alaska helps him. sometimes hawai'i if alaska is busy.

40. SOUTH CAROLINA — viola.

41. SOUTH DAKOTA — second violin.

42. TENNESSEE — first violin.

43. TEXAS — second violin. picked up the violin and he is not a fan but he's been with it so long he just doesn't know how to switch instruments. wishes he was a cellist. stares longingly at the cello section. he is allergic to shifting.

44. UTAH — first violin.

45. VERMONT — second violin.

46. VIRGINIA — first violin.

47. WASHINGTON — first violin.

48. WEST VIRGINIA — viola.

49. WISCONSIN — first violin.

50. WYOMING — bass.

[the-overgrown-states]

as the designated nevada fan i need to know your nev hcs

hand em over 🤲

also i live there

hello designated Nevada fan

Nevada is so gay

and so open about it

Any pronouns but they, probably

Including neos

but mostly just to piss the deep south and Utah off

Genderfluid icon

hair changes CONSTANTLY

hair is always changing colors, styles, lengths, accessories, etc

but it’s never completely a natural color

it could be black and blond

but never just black or never just blond

WILL fight you if you don’t tip your server well

is probably a protester/advocate for a lot of things

close to California’s level

personally i love Nevada/California

but i also love them as a QPR or FWB

Nevada loves to gamble and party

likes going to clubs

will fight a straight guy if he’s in a gay club

will fight a straight girl if shes in a lesbian club

will fight literally anyone being disrespectful

always runs warm

wears bright and shiny things

almost always has glow sticks on her except when around Florida

Florida routinely tries to eat them

it’s a pain in his ass

Weirdly good friends with Florida and Louisiana

…Nevada is in a lot of FWB relationships…

i could make a whole post dedicated to that alone

i love the crater scars headcanon

for those who dont know

Nevada has scars because of nuclear bomb testing that went on in the state

hates Gov

attempts to do the opposite of whatever he wants her to do

in the same car and Nevada is driving and Gov tells him go left? She’s going right.

Gov had some power over him and can physically control her body at points because of how much land the government owns in Nevada

has a special interest in aliens

i feel like Area 51 isn’t talked about enough here

Nevada LOVES aliens

and all things space

a weird trauma bond with nuclear things as well too

also if you got a geiger counter and held it up to Nevada

she’s at a higher than average count

also gives you this - Nevada headcanon art

[titleknown]

So, you know all those bad laws I tell y'all to call your senators to kill? Well here's a good one for you to promote!

Basically, you know how payment processors freak the fuck out if even the slightest whiff of adult content shows up on a website, which has lead to the widespread sanitization of the internet?

Well, this bill, S.293; aims to prevent that crap!

And, it's currently in the Committee of Banking, Housing, and Urban Affairs, so if your Senator is one of the following, call them and tell them to vote yes on it:

Sherrod Brown, Ohio, Chairman

Jack Reed, Rhode Island

Bob Menendez, New Jersey

Jon Tester, Montana

Mark Warner, Virginia

Elizabeth Warren, Massachusetts (Tell her it would be a start on apologizing for voting yes on FOSTA/SESTA)

Chris Van Hollen, Maryland

Catherine Cortez Masto, Nevada

Tina Smith, Minnesota

Kyrsten Sinema, Arizona (ugh)

Raphael Warnock, Georgia

John Fetterman, Pennsylvania

Tim Scott, South Carolina, Ranking Member

Mike Crapo, Idaho

Mike Rounds, South Dakota

Thom Tillis, North Carolina (Probably not reaching this asshole)

John Kennedy, Louisiana

Bill Hagerty, Tennessee

Cynthia Lummis, Wyoming

J.D. Vance, Ohio (Ugh)

Katie Britt, Alabama

Kevin Cramer, North Dakota

Steve Daines, Montana

If they're one of those right-wing dipshits, tell them it would help them prevent "cancel culture" via socially-conscious payment processors. Because subterfugue towards conservatives is always cool and good! Always!

Also mention that, in a happy irony, this would actually make kids safer by allowing platforms to acknowlege that, yes, people make a living selling well-endowed monoecious horsegirl drawings on their platform, and actually put properly finetuned safeguards in place.

As opposed to now, where they have to dance around it and put it in a grey-area hell so that Peter "Dracula" Thiel doesn't get his seastead in a shoal and ban them, which nobody likes!

So, call 'em if you can, boost even if you can't!

[sleepdeprivedsimp234]

WTTT cryptid/animal hcs cuz I'm bored. Also these might make absolutely ZERO sense whatsoever, but thats fine.

================================

New York:

Ive decided that his cryptid/animal form is a blue jay/cat hybrid. Why? Idk tbh. We as a fandom have decided that he is a cat in human form, and the blue-jay is apparently one of the most common birds in NY (and theyre pretty as hell-). I dont really have a good reason lmao. He has the wings of a blue jay (along with some feathers around his back/neck/torso) and cat ears and tail (tho his tail has feathers on it that spread out to look like a blue jay's tailfeathers.) and claws. Also his eyes are gold and his pupils are slits :3. His claws come out of the base of his fingernails, almost like Wolverine's. His speed and agility is increased quite a bit, he can climb even better, amd hear things that he wouldn't normally be able to hear.

Louisiana:

The little voices in my head have all come together and decided that he's a gator/wolf hybrid. Wolf cuz ✨Rougarou✨ and gator cuz why tf not. He has wolf ears and tail, and gator scales on his back/neck/forearms, as well as a bit of his torso. His eyes are a bright yellow and he has slit pupils like an alligator. His teeth can very from being all sharp, or just his canines. His strength, speed, stamina, swimming and hearing/smell abilities all are increased.

Texas:

I just do what the little voices in my head tell me to. He's a deer/northern mockingbird hybrid (cuz deer are the most widespread large mammal in Texas and his state bird is the northern mockingbird). He has antlers and deer hooves and tail, as well as mockingbird wings. His hearing, speed, and jumping abilities are all increased. He's also very alert and gets scared very easily (easier than usual, and he hates it). He definitely headbutts Alaska and California and others that he's able to (some of the taller states).

Massachusetts:

To be completely honest, I haven't though too much, but I'm thinking maybe a raccoon or a chickadee. Raccoon cuz hehe funny, and chickadee cuz the black-capped chickadee is his state bird. This might be one I have to think about more tbh.

Gov:

He's an eagle, no questions asked. I mean- for God's sake he's the closest thing we have to full personification of America, so yes. He has large eagle wings and bright yellow eyes with slit pupils. His legs from the knee down can either be like eagle's legs/talons, or they can be normal, and he has talons instead of fingernails. He has feathers along his neck/back and a long the sides of his face. His speed and strength are both increased.

Alaska:

Again, the little voices are telling me that he's a polar bear/moose hybrid. Pretty much most of him is par bear, as in he has white fur on most of him, he has the claws, and white bear ears and tail and the tips of his hair are white. The moose part of him is literally just a pair of moose antlers. And his strength is heavily increased (not that that was necessary-). He has 100% headbutted Texas back and sent him for a trip.

California:

He is ✨grizzly bear✨. It just makes sense. He has the bear ears, tail, and claws. And fur along his back, torso, neck, forearms, and legs. Also he's like 10x stronger (again, not necessary :') he's already buff enough) and has definitely thrown Texas a few times.

Nevada:

Big horned sheep. He has ram horns, the legs of a ram, and a tail. And he definitely headbutts people. For funsies.

Colorado:

Basically the same as Nevada. Also he gets the munchies cuz he's high 24/7 and eats literally anything. Chair? Munch. Plastic? Munch. Rock? M u n c h.

Florida:

That's not even a question lmao. He's an alligator. He has the yellow eyes and slit pupils, alligator scales on his arms/back/legs/neck. And he's a lot stronger and can swim faster.

New Jersey:

He is a demon/devil hybrid, no questions asked. He has elf-like ears, devil horns/tail/wings, bright red eyes, sharp teeth, and black patches all over his body.

Rhode Island:

Hehe. He's a raccoon cuz i said so. And nobody is changing my damn mind. He has the floofy tail and ears and claws and teeth. He is angy short raccoon :3

================================

[asquirrelinspace]

I got bored an decided to give my stereotypes for all the states

Alabama - number fifty in everything is good, right? Alaska - canada but with shitty healthcare Arizona - desert but people actually live there (see new mexico) Arkansas - can't think of anything, ar-kansas California - hunted their own bear to extinction Colorado - haha weed (also skiing) Connecticut - clark. rhode island but slightly more relevant Delaware - the river is more relevant Florida - the america of america, electric boogaloo (see texas) Georgia - "no, I'm from the country not the state" (peaches) Hawaii - you're crippled with living expenses but at least it's pretty Idaho - I-da-ho lol Illinois - all of their neighbors hate them (including themselves) Indiana - i got nothin Iowa - head of the chef Kansas - only known from wizard of oz Kentucky - fried Louisiana - only relevant for new orleans Maine - north Maryland - lit ass flag, crabs, DC, baltimore, or annapolis suburbs Massachusetts - only know the vowel a Michigan - cut in half, lakes are pretty in the winter Minnesota - obsessed with norway Mississippi - alabama lite, name used to count seconds Missouri - sounds like misery Montana - literally nothing. like actually there is nothing there (glacier Nebraska - 1 (one) tall building Nevada - vegas New Hampshire - aren't you just vermont? New Jersey - hates new york with all their soul New Mexico - desert and nobody lives there. cool flag tho New York - people know the city better than the state North Carolina - air force almost nuked it 'accidentally' North Dakota - they all moved to minnesota Ohio - higher population than 80% of states, still known as empty Oklahoma - pan handle (don't look up why) Oregon - cannibalism Pennsylvania - two cities and a lot of rednecks Rhode Island - might be cool if it was actually an island South Carolina - georgia but north, started civil war South Dakota - i saw some cool art and got addicted to the style Tennessee - "you're the only ten I see," north carolina extended Texas - america of america. only republican state that makes money Utah - mormons Vermont - aren't you just new hampshire? Virginia - used to own west virginia, kentucky. skill issue Washington - rain West Virginia - shithole Wisconsin - "I swear I'm totally different from minnesota" Wyoming - yellowstone is cool

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

By: Ryan Burge

Published: Oct 19, 2023

This post is more of a “me thinking out loud” than anything else, because I get this question a whole lot. It’s about states, specifically what parts of the country are the least religious and which ones are the most religious. That question is posed by potential church planters looking for the most fertile ground to start up a new church. It’s also asked by atheists and agnostics when they are thinking about where would be a good place to move to if they wanted to be around like minded people.

Here’s the thing about that question - it’s not really that easy to answer from a statistical perspective. It seems so tantalizing easy but that’s just not the case. The reason is actually really easy to understand, too. Sample size. That’s it. That’s the tweet.

I don’t think people fully realize how small national surveys used to be. When I was in graduate school, the ceiling was about 3,000 people. Divide that by 50, and you see the problem that I am running in to here. You may get a hundred or more in big states like California or Texas. But you aren’t going to get any real numbers in Vermont or Montana.

I wrote about this in a ton of depth for Religion News Service a couple years ago in post entitled, “How religious is your average 22-year-old? A new golden age of survey data opens a door.” That ‘Golden Age’ has opened the door for folks like me to get a lot closer to the answer about the most religious states and the least religious ones.

The Cooperative Election Study has over 60,000 people in the most recent wave - collected about a year ago. It’s got 129 folks from North Dakota in there! And, 224 from Montana. There are more Californians in the 2022 CES than the entire sample of the General Social Survey in 2021. So, now we can do some state level analysis.

Let’s get right to the maps, then. This is the share of folks who identify as atheist, agnostic, or nothing in particular in the 2008 and the 2022 version of the Cooperative Election Study. I intentionally kept the bins the same in both years to give folks a clear impression of just how fast the nones have risen.

In the 2008 map at the top, the dark blue tells a pretty clear story - the nones were way more concentrated in the western part of the United States. They were north of 40% in both Washington and Oregon. The only other state that was less religious was Vermont at 42%. There are also big pockets of nones in California, and Arizona, too.

Where weren’t the nones in 2008? The entire mid-section of the country. States like Minnesota and Wisconsin scored really low at 23% and 25% respectively. But of course the Bible belt didn’t have a bunch of nones. Just 23% in Mississippi and 18% in Louisiana. But there were a bunch of states in the low to mid twenties all over the middle section of the country, though.

In 2022, nearly the entire map is a dark shade of blue - meaning at least 35% non-religious. Now there are four states that are more than half non-religious: Washington, Oregon, New Hampshire, and Maine. But there are also lots of states in the mid-forties, too: Nevada, California, New Mexico, and Colorado to name a few.

Outside the Dakotas, the only part of the country that is not dark blue is the Bible Belt. In most of those states about one third of the population is non-religious. That’s the case in Louisiana, Tennessee, Kentucky, Georgia, and South Carolina. The nones are basically everywhere now and in large numbers. It’s not just isolated pockets in certain states.

[ Continued... ]

Unfortunately, the rest of the article is behind a paywall, and a cached/archived version doesn't seem to be available at the usual locations.

[aceontheline]

CaliYork Fic (Pt 14)

York had the two men's attention. Texas and Gov looked on curiously. York knew that he told Gov everything before, but he reiterated everything, including the new information that he indeed kissed Massachusetts. "Excuse me?!" Gov yelled in his typical shocked manner. Texas also looked rather shocked, as if to say "Dude, why?" York fidgeted with his shirt a bit, trying to formulate a sentence that would justify in any way what he had done. It felt like the words were all there, but he couldn't manage to push them through. Texas went up to him and... Hugged him. Texas could get a sense that York was nervous and needed a sense of comfort.

York accepted the hug, albeit with slight hesitation. He slowly raised his arms up to hug the Southern fellow, then pulled him close. To feel this kind of touch from anyone right now was reassuring. York started to softly sob once more, still wordless. Texas got a little bit uncomfy, but still held onto York as he wept. Eventually, York stopped crying and pulled away. "Sorry" York said, his voice a bit hoarse. Texas invited him to sit down instead, as he leaned up against the wall. He asked what York wanted to talk about, in a more gentle tone, almost a fatherly one.

"I don't know why I did what I did. All I know is that I feel awful for it. I've said 'I'm sorry' to Cal like... Dozens of times already-"

"That's just it. You've said 'I'm sorry', but he doesn't see meaning behind it. He still doesn't know why you did what you did and it'll be hard for him to forget. You can forgive, but you'll never forget" Texas said.

"That's true. Also, take this into consideration. It's a quote from 'The Good Place'... 'If he has really changed, that meant he was always capable of change but I wasn’t worth changing for'. So, with that... Mass was capable of change, but-"

"I wasn't worth it...?" York asked in a disappointed tone. Gov and Texas nodded.

"Least not to him, I guess. But York, you're a good guy on your own right. You've proven to be a much better partner to Cali. Focus on that and mending you guys' relationship. Right now though, spend some time alone and think about all this" Texas said in that fatherly tone.

York took the two men's advice to heart, thanking them both before leaving the room. Those words that Gov said, even though they weren't his, rang a lot of truth. York went back to his room alone and laid in his bed, staring up at the ceiling for a while. He sent a text to Cali, basically saying: "You and I both need some time to think about this, so I'll give you your space. Just know I'll be here when you're ready. I know I've got thinking to do"

Cali didn't respond to it, but he read it. York got that and just laid down more, putting some of his music on. A few of the states had walked by and saw York in this state, asking if he was okay. York wouldn't respond to them directly, but they all got a sense that he was a bit worse for wear right now. They never pried anymore past "Are you okay?" York knew they were only asking because he wasn't being his "usual self". Whatever the fuck that meant.

--------------------TIMESKIP: 2 WEEKS LATER--------------------

York had taken to hanging out with Florida and Louisiana if he felt like he needed his mood lifted. They never pried for information about the status on how him and Cali were doing, almost like they just knew. Cali was mainly spending time alone, or hanging out with Nevada. They became friendly during this time and were hanging out pretty much every 2 days or so. But after a while of being separated, Cali felt like he was ready to talk. York was just getting ready to go for a walk, when Cali texted him. "We need to talk" the text read.

York was filled with anxiety, but also a feeling of "things will be okay". York met Cali at the specified destination: The Northeast kitchen. The other states cleared out so these two could have their space, but it didn't mean that they were snooping, especially Massachusetts. York's arms were at his side as he came close to Cali, then backed away. He asked what Cali wanted to talk about, leaning against the wall.

"I've had some time to think about things. Honestly, I am still frustrated at you for kissing Mass, but I just want to know... What made you think it was okay?" Cali asked.

"I didn't. I talked to Gov a few weeks back and he made a good point that I've thought about. If Mass has really changed, that meant he was always capable of change, but I wasn’t worth changing for. It's true though. Mass felt like he didn't want to change for me so he didn't. Once we broke up, he must have changed for someone else. I wasn't worth it, so I don't know why I reacted the way I did. It wasn't okay, for him or you" York replied, sternly.

"... Okay. That's all I wanted to hear. I forgive you" Cali responded.

York smiled wide and hugged Cali super close. The two hugged for a bit and then kissed. Mass came out from behind a door nearby and clapped for the two, giving a thumbs up. Cali and York smiled softly at him. The two men decided to go back to Gov's office and give him a personal "Thank You". They instantly warped in front of Gov, who was drowned in paperwork. York walked behind him and tapped his shoulder. Cali and York stood in front of and behind Gov, as they hugged him. "Thank you" was all they could say.

Gov smiled, accepting the hug. When Texas walked by them, Cali simply nodded his head and mouthed "Thank you". "You're welcome" Texas mouthed, tipping his hat.

York and Cali walked around a bit more until they found themselves outside and at a beautiful scenic walkway. They decided to take it, holding hands and walking together all the way down. Once they reached the end, it was a river and a nice bench they could sit down at. York sat down on the bench, and Cali teased, first sitting on York's lap. York chuckled, blushing a bit.

"Sir, that's my lap you're sitting on" York said, his voice trailing.

"I know. Best seat in the house" Cali replied, winking.

York's face turned an even deeper shade of red, as he looked away from Cali. Cali shook his head and demanded to see York's face, placing his two fingers on York's chin. Cali smiled knowingly as he adjusted himself so he could sit closer and right near York's face. York laughed a bit, then kissed Cali like he thought he wanted. He was correct, as Cali got off his lap and instead went to cuddle with him on the bench. York wrapped his arm around Cali and sighed contently.

A few moments later, the two got up to leave and go back home. They talked more about their relationship and the issue concerning Mass. In fact, York went up to Mass and personally apologized. Mass forgave him, saying that it was "water under the bridge". York asked if they could still be friends. Cali said it was fine, but it was purely up to Mass.

"Yeah man. Just know... I'm dating someone else now" Mass said.

"Oh? Is it who I think it is?" York asked.

"Virginia? Then yeah. It is" Mass replied, sighing happily.

"That's great!" York responded, wishing Mass luck in that future relationship. Mass thanked him and the two separated. York immediately hugged Cali close to him, kissing his cheek. Cali giggled, blushing a little as he asked what that was for. "Showin' you I love you" York replied, kissing Cali once more. Cali pulled York in for a more passionate kiss, before yanking down York's beanie and running away. York teasingly screamed at Cali that he was "Gonna get it!"

The two ran around for quite some time before York tackle-hugged Cali onto his bed. The two were laughing like kids, and continued to do so as York tickled Cali. The two did that for a while, then relaxed and cuddled each other in bed. In between cuddling and kissing each other, they would talk or watch YouTube videos they thought were funny.

Prev ( Here ) ; Next ( Here )

Masterpost ( Here )

[ambienthousewife]

the complete list of official state affirmations

arkansas: your next door neighbor is not planning on blowing up your house. he is a nice man who makes ziti and has NO interest in arson nor personal revenge.

alaska: the wolves are NOT gossiping behind your back about your truck decals. they appreciate a fine piece of machinery such as your gmc

california: you WILL be able to get your celery juice morning fix before work today. inflation has NOT risen its price to $11

delaware: the irs has NO interest in investigating you for an illegal importing business. the package at your doorstep labeled "bosnia" IS discreet and out of sight

florida: there are CERTAINLY enough parking spots available at the event you are attending. the city planners have SPECIFICALLY had this in mind when designing the map

hawaii: jimmy buffett is GUARANTEED to suffer a horrific accident in his remaining lifetime. he WILL suffer a tragic demise

illinois: your local grocery has NOT started putting eyeballs in your food. they have NO interest in doing such a thing

iowa: the makeup you got from the dollar store DOES look good and not tacky. the cheapest mascara WILL serve you well today

louisiana: the ghost of don pardo IS benign and friendly. he has NO interest in causing misfortune upon your property

maryland: you WILL one day be able to do anal. with enough lube and practice, it is a CERTAINTY and nothing to worry about

massachusetts: the position open as a 'professional accordion player' on indeed is NOT a scam. this IS the position you have been waiting for your entire life

minnesota: super mario 64 is just a video game and is in NO WAY a manifestation of your worst childhood nightmares. please get some solid rest

mississippi: you WILL impress your colleagues at the work karaoke party. "everybody knows" by leonard cohen is a SUPERB choice of song for this occasion

nevada: NOBODY knows about the time you peed yourself at comic con. it was discreet and you are the ONLY person that knows such a thing happened. and it's not even that big of a deal

new jersey: no, your mom did NOT call you on the 10 year anniversary of the night her house burnt down. she survived but passed away 4 years ago from unrelated causes.

new mexico: santa claus WILL bring you all the toys you wanted for christmas this year. you are NOT on his naughty list

new york: all the kids that bullied you for wanting to marry simon le bon from duran duran are IRRELEVANT now. you can plan your own fictional wedding with simon le bon from duran duran and there is NOTHING anyone can do to stop it

ohio: the giraffe that tried to kill you as an 8 year old is NOT the same one that just escaped the zoo. that is a different giraffe. the one that tried to kill you PERISHED 13 years ago in a boating accident

oregon: one day you WILL be able to vape your estrogen. the world's top scientists are working on it right now.

rhode island: you will NOT fall for another 'joe mama' joke. you know the rules now and your mind is as SHARP as a tack today

south dakota: this goth girl on tinder FOR SURE wants to have sexual intercourse with you. the invader zim hoodie is a GREAT choice of outfit for a first date

texas: everybody LOVED your noise show performance. the circuit bended childrens keyboard from goodwill you made did an AMAZING job

utah: all the other moms thought your casserole was DELICIOUS. they are NOT saying mean things to you behind your back because your husband made chocolate chip pancakes once. that alone does not make a man too fruity

washington: this costco is where a panic attack will NOT be had today. you WILL be able to get your bulk groceries and not cry in the store. in the car is fine enough

wisconsin: the exterminator you hired is NOT an ant in disguise. that is IMPOSSIBLE. he is also NOT a sex offender you checked the records before hiring him.

wyoming: that copy of infinite jest you have on the shelf will be FULLY read one day. you will get around to finishing it one day SOON

[brookston]

Holidays 7.31

Holidays

African Women’s Day

Air Force Day (Nicaragua)

Always Live Better Than Yester Day

Apricot Day (French Republic)

Black Top Day (a.k.a. Black Tot Day; UK)

Brunhilda Asteroid Day

Change Your Ringtone Day (Australia)

Cool Japan Day

Crossfire Hurricane Day

Devoted Couples Day

Emancipation Day (Belize)

Father’s Day (Dominican Republic)

George Jetson Day

Garda Asteroid Day

The Great Mullein Day

Gryphon Appreciation Day

Hapje Tapje (Leuven, Belgium)

Happy Potter Day

Hot August Nights begin (Reno, Nevada)

Insect Appreciation Day

International Lifeguard Appreciation Day

International Seriously Single Day

Joust of Quintana: La Sfida (The Challenge; Italy) [Pt. 2 in September]

Ka Hae Hawai'i Day (State Flag Day; Hawaii)

Law Enforcement Day (Louisiana)

Mac Davis Day (Lubbock, Texas)

Martyrdom Day of Shahid Udham Singh (Haryana and Punjab, India)

Milton Friedman Day

Mutt's Day

National Blood Donor Day (Iran)

National Commando Day

National Diana Day

National Eisteddford of Wales (Wales)

National Heatstroke Awareness Day

National #Love Day

National Mom Bod Day

National Mutt Day (a.k.a. National Mixed Breed Dog Day)

National Orgasm Day (UK)

National Parent a Biracial Child Day

Operation Motorman Anniversary Day (UK)

Rabbit Rabbit Day [Last Day of Every Month]

Saui Sura (Javanese New Year; Suriname)

Saxophone Day

731 Day

Treasury Day (Poland)

Uncommon Instrument Awareness Day

U.S. Patent Day

Warriors’ Day (Malaysia)

World Day Against Electronic Torture

World MS Trend Day

World Ranger Day

Food & Drink Celebrations

Cotton Candy Day [also 12.7]

Jump for Jelly Beans Day

Make Homemade Ice Cream and Invite the Neighbors Over Day

National Avocado Day

National Raspberry Cake Day

National Spam Day

Rum Ration Day (a.k.a. Black Tot Day)

Shredded Wheat Day

Independence & Related Days

Sovereignty Restoration Day (Hawaii)

Vanuatu (from UK/France, 1980)

Weimar Constitution Adoption Day (Germany; 1919)

5th & Last Wednesday in July

OSHC Educators Day (Australia) [last Wednesday]

Weekly Holidays beginning July 31 (Last Week of July)

Oregon Brewers Festival begins [Last full weekend; Wednesday thru Saturday] (Now merged with the Portland Rose Festival in May and June)

Festivals Beginning July 31, 2024

Beyond the Gates (Bergen, Norway) [thru 8.3]

Grays Harbor County Fair (Elma, Washington) [thru 8.3]

Iowa Hunger Summit (Des Moines, Iowa)

Maine Lobster Festival (Rockland, Maine) [thru 8.4]

Montelago Celtic Festival (Serravalle di Chienti, Italy) [thru 8.3]

NC Watermelon Festival (Murfreesboro, North Carolina) [thru 8.3]

Northern Maine Fair (Presque Isle, Maine) [thru 8.4]

Ventura County Fair (Ventura, California) [thru 8.11]

Viagem Medieval (Medieval Journey) (Santa Maria da Feira, Portugal) [thru 8.11]

Feast Days

Abanoub (Christian; Saint)

Bill Gates Day (Church of the SubGenius; Saint)

Birthday of Nephthys

Cameons (Positivist; Saint)

The Clodhoppers (Muppetism)

Dress Up Day (Pastafarian)

Erich Heckel (Artology)

Feast of Joseph of Arimathea (Anglican; Roman Catholic)

First Sermon of Buddha (Bhutan)

Germanus of Auxerre (Christian; Saint)

Helen of Skofde, Sweden (Christian; Saint)

Ignatius of Loyola (Christian; Saint)

Jacques Villon (Artology)

Jean Denis Attiret (Artology)

Jean Dubuffet (Artology)

J.K. Rowling (Writerism)

John Columbini (Christian; Saint)

Joseph of Arimathea (Eastern Orthodox)

Ka Hae (Hawaii Flag Day; Starza Pagan Book of Days)

Lammas Eve (a.k.a. ... 

August Eve

Hlafmesse (Loaf Mass; Anglo-Saxon)

Lammas, Day 1 (Celtic, Pagan) [5 of 8 Festivals of the Natural Year]

Lughnassad Eve

Lithasblot (Norse Harvest Festival)

Loki and Sigyn’s Day (Norse)

Lughnassadh (Grain Harvest)

Oiche Lughnasadh (Pagan)

Martyrdom Day of Shahid Udham Singh (Haryana, India)

Mary Vaux Walcott (Artology)

Neot (Christian; Saint)

Primo Levi (Writerism)

Real Ale Day (Pastafarian)

Seedy Birds (Muppetism)

Lucky & Unlucky Days

Sensho (先勝 Japan) [Good luck in the morning, bad luck in the afternoon.]

Premieres

Bad Animals, by Heart (Album; 1987)

BASEketball (Film; 1998)

Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Film; 1992)

Confidence (Oswald the Lucky Rabbit Cartoon; 1933)

Dad’s Army (BBC TV Series; 1968)

The Dark Tower (Film; 2017)

Death Becomes Her (Film; 1992)

Enchanted April (Film; 1992)

Ever After (Film; 1998)

Farmer Al Falfa’s Prize Package (Terrytoons Cartoon; 1936)

Four Weddings and a Funeral (TV Series; 2019)

Hang ‘Em High (Film; 1968)

Hot Shots! (Film; 1991)

I Am Legend, by Richard Matheson (Novel; 1954)

Lego Aquaman: Rage of Atlantis (WB Animated Film; 2018)

Little Boy Blue (Castle Films ComiColor Cartoons; 1936)

The Living Daylights (James Bond Film, US; 1987) [#15]

The Lost Boys (Film; 1987)

Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation (Film; 2015)

Murder Included, by Joanna Cannan (Novel; 1950)

The Negotiator (Film; 1998)

Night (Silly Symphony Disney Cartoon; 1930)

Only the Lonely, by Roy Orbison (Song; 1960)

The Pink Pill (Pink Panther Cartoon; 1968)

Plenty of Money and You (WB MM Cartoon; 1937)

Poems, Chiefly in the Scottish Dialect (Book of Poems; 1786)

Rascal Flatts, by Rascal Flatts (Album; 2000)

Rushing Roulette (WB MM Cartoon; 1965)

The Shadow (Radio Series; 1930)

Still the One, by Orleans (Song; 1976)

Urban Cowboy (Film; 1980)

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (Film; 2017)

What a Night! What a Moon!, recorded by Teddy Wilson (Song; 1935)

The Wiggles (TV Series; 1998)

Today’s Name Days

Hermann, Ignatius, Justinus (Austria)

Ignacije, Vatroslav (Croatia)

Ignác (Czech Republic)

Germanus, Helena (Denmark)

Ave, Meevi (Estonia)

Elena, Helena (Finland)

Ignace (France)

Herrmann, Ignatius, Joseph (Germany)

Iosif, Sifis (Greece)

Oszkár (Hungary)

Barbara (Italy)

Angelika, Renita, Rūta, Sigita (Latvia)

Elena, Ignotas, Sanginas, Vykintė (Lithuania)

Elin, Eline (Norway)

Beatus, Demokryt, Emilian, Ernesta, Ernestyna, Helena, Iga, Ignacja, Ignacy, Justyn, Ludomir, Żegota (Poland)

Margarita, Marina (Russia)

Ignác (Slovakia)

Fabio, Germán, Ignacio (Spain)

Elin, Helena (Sweden)

Ignacio, Inigo, Reed, Reid (USA)

Today is Also…

Day of Year: Day 213 of 2024; 153 days remaining in the year

ISO: Day 3 of Week 31 of 2024

Celtic Tree Calendar: Tinne (Holly) [Day 26 of 28]

Chinese: Month 6 (Xin-Wei), Day 26 (Bing-Shen)

Chinese Year of the: Dragon 4722 (until January 29, 2025) [Wu-Chen]

Hebrew: 25 Tammuz 5784

Islamic: 24 Muharram 1446

J Cal: 3 Purple; Threesday [3 of 30]

Julian: 18 July 2024

Moon: 17%: Waning Crescent

Positivist: 16 Dante (8th Month) [Cameons]

Runic Half Month: Thorn (Defense) [Day 8 of 15]

Season: Summer (Day 42 of 94)

Week: Last Week of July

Zodiac: Leo (Day 10 of 31)

[brookstonalmanac]

Holidays 7.31

Holidays

African Women’s Day

Air Force Day (Nicaragua)

Always Live Better Than Yester Day

Apricot Day (French Republic)

Black Top Day (a.k.a. Black Tot Day; UK)

Brunhilda Asteroid Day

Change Your Ringtone Day (Australia)

Cool Japan Day

Crossfire Hurricane Day

Devoted Couples Day

Emancipation Day (Belize)

Father’s Day (Dominican Republic)

George Jetson Day

Garda Asteroid Day

The Great Mullein Day

Gryphon Appreciation Day

Hapje Tapje (Leuven, Belgium)

Happy Potter Day

Hot August Nights begin (Reno, Nevada)

Insect Appreciation Day

International Lifeguard Appreciation Day

International Seriously Single Day

Joust of Quintana: La Sfida (The Challenge; Italy) [Pt. 2 in September]

Ka Hae Hawai'i Day (State Flag Day; Hawaii)

Law Enforcement Day (Louisiana)

Mac Davis Day (Lubbock, Texas)

Martyrdom Day of Shahid Udham Singh (Haryana and Punjab, India)

Milton Friedman Day

Mutt's Day

National Blood Donor Day (Iran)

National Commando Day

National Diana Day

National Eisteddford of Wales (Wales)

National Heatstroke Awareness Day

National #Love Day

National Mom Bod Day

National Mutt Day (a.k.a. National Mixed Breed Dog Day)

National Orgasm Day (UK)

National Parent a Biracial Child Day

Operation Motorman Anniversary Day (UK)

Rabbit Rabbit Day [Last Day of Every Month]

Saui Sura (Javanese New Year; Suriname)

Saxophone Day

731 Day

Treasury Day (Poland)

Uncommon Instrument Awareness Day

U.S. Patent Day

Warriors’ Day (Malaysia)

World Day Against Electronic Torture

World MS Trend Day

World Ranger Day

Food & Drink Celebrations

Cotton Candy Day [also 12.7]

Jump for Jelly Beans Day

Make Homemade Ice Cream and Invite the Neighbors Over Day

National Avocado Day

National Raspberry Cake Day

National Spam Day

Rum Ration Day (a.k.a. Black Tot Day)

Shredded Wheat Day

Independence & Related Days

Sovereignty Restoration Day (Hawaii)

Vanuatu (from UK/France, 1980)

Weimar Constitution Adoption Day (Germany; 1919)

5th & Last Wednesday in July

OSHC Educators Day (Australia) [last Wednesday]

Weekly Holidays beginning July 31 (Last Week of July)

Oregon Brewers Festival begins [Last full weekend; Wednesday thru Saturday] (Now merged with the Portland Rose Festival in May and June)

Festivals Beginning July 31, 2024

Beyond the Gates (Bergen, Norway) [thru 8.3]

Grays Harbor County Fair (Elma, Washington) [thru 8.3]

Iowa Hunger Summit (Des Moines, Iowa)

Maine Lobster Festival (Rockland, Maine) [thru 8.4]

Montelago Celtic Festival (Serravalle di Chienti, Italy) [thru 8.3]

NC Watermelon Festival (Murfreesboro, North Carolina) [thru 8.3]

Northern Maine Fair (Presque Isle, Maine) [thru 8.4]

Ventura County Fair (Ventura, California) [thru 8.11]

Viagem Medieval (Medieval Journey) (Santa Maria da Feira, Portugal) [thru 8.11]

Feast Days

Abanoub (Christian; Saint)

Bill Gates Day (Church of the SubGenius; Saint)

Birthday of Nephthys

Cameons (Positivist; Saint)

The Clodhoppers (Muppetism)

Dress Up Day (Pastafarian)

Erich Heckel (Artology)

Feast of Joseph of Arimathea (Anglican; Roman Catholic)

First Sermon of Buddha (Bhutan)

Germanus of Auxerre (Christian; Saint)

Helen of Skofde, Sweden (Christian; Saint)

Ignatius of Loyola (Christian; Saint)

Jacques Villon (Artology)

Jean Denis Attiret (Artology)

Jean Dubuffet (Artology)

J.K. Rowling (Writerism)

John Columbini (Christian; Saint)

Joseph of Arimathea (Eastern Orthodox)

Ka Hae (Hawaii Flag Day; Starza Pagan Book of Days)

Lammas Eve (a.k.a. ... 

August Eve

Hlafmesse (Loaf Mass; Anglo-Saxon)

Lammas, Day 1 (Celtic, Pagan) [5 of 8 Festivals of the Natural Year]

Lughnassad Eve

Lithasblot (Norse Harvest Festival)

Loki and Sigyn’s Day (Norse)

Lughnassadh (Grain Harvest)

Oiche Lughnasadh (Pagan)

Martyrdom Day of Shahid Udham Singh (Haryana, India)

Mary Vaux Walcott (Artology)

Neot (Christian; Saint)

Primo Levi (Writerism)

Real Ale Day (Pastafarian)

Seedy Birds (Muppetism)

Lucky & Unlucky Days

Sensho (先勝 Japan) [Good luck in the morning, bad luck in the afternoon.]

Premieres

Bad Animals, by Heart (Album; 1987)

BASEketball (Film; 1998)

Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Film; 1992)

Confidence (Oswald the Lucky Rabbit Cartoon; 1933)

Dad’s Army (BBC TV Series; 1968)

The Dark Tower (Film; 2017)

Death Becomes Her (Film; 1992)

Enchanted April (Film; 1992)

Ever After (Film; 1998)

Farmer Al Falfa’s Prize Package (Terrytoons Cartoon; 1936)

Four Weddings and a Funeral (TV Series; 2019)

Hang ‘Em High (Film; 1968)

Hot Shots! (Film; 1991)

I Am Legend, by Richard Matheson (Novel; 1954)

Lego Aquaman: Rage of Atlantis (WB Animated Film; 2018)

Little Boy Blue (Castle Films ComiColor Cartoons; 1936)

The Living Daylights (James Bond Film, US; 1987) [#15]

The Lost Boys (Film; 1987)

Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation (Film; 2015)

Murder Included, by Joanna Cannan (Novel; 1950)

The Negotiator (Film; 1998)

Night (Silly Symphony Disney Cartoon; 1930)

Only the Lonely, by Roy Orbison (Song; 1960)

The Pink Pill (Pink Panther Cartoon; 1968)

Plenty of Money and You (WB MM Cartoon; 1937)

Poems, Chiefly in the Scottish Dialect (Book of Poems; 1786)

Rascal Flatts, by Rascal Flatts (Album; 2000)

Rushing Roulette (WB MM Cartoon; 1965)

The Shadow (Radio Series; 1930)

Still the One, by Orleans (Song; 1976)

Urban Cowboy (Film; 1980)

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (Film; 2017)

What a Night! What a Moon!, recorded by Teddy Wilson (Song; 1935)

The Wiggles (TV Series; 1998)

Today’s Name Days

Hermann, Ignatius, Justinus (Austria)

Ignacije, Vatroslav (Croatia)

Ignác (Czech Republic)

Germanus, Helena (Denmark)

Ave, Meevi (Estonia)

Elena, Helena (Finland)

Ignace (France)

Herrmann, Ignatius, Joseph (Germany)

Iosif, Sifis (Greece)

Oszkár (Hungary)

Barbara (Italy)

Angelika, Renita, Rūta, Sigita (Latvia)

Elena, Ignotas, Sanginas, Vykintė (Lithuania)

Elin, Eline (Norway)

Beatus, Demokryt, Emilian, Ernesta, Ernestyna, Helena, Iga, Ignacja, Ignacy, Justyn, Ludomir, Żegota (Poland)

Margarita, Marina (Russia)

Ignác (Slovakia)

Fabio, Germán, Ignacio (Spain)

Elin, Helena (Sweden)

Ignacio, Inigo, Reed, Reid (USA)

Today is Also…

Day of Year: Day 213 of 2024; 153 days remaining in the year

ISO: Day 3 of Week 31 of 2024

Celtic Tree Calendar: Tinne (Holly) [Day 26 of 28]

Chinese: Month 6 (Xin-Wei), Day 26 (Bing-Shen)

Chinese Year of the: Dragon 4722 (until January 29, 2025) [Wu-Chen]

Hebrew: 25 Tammuz 5784

Islamic: 24 Muharram 1446

J Cal: 3 Purple; Threesday [3 of 30]

Julian: 18 July 2024

Moon: 17%: Waning Crescent

Positivist: 16 Dante (8th Month) [Cameons]

Runic Half Month: Thorn (Defense) [Day 8 of 15]

Season: Summer (Day 42 of 94)

Week: Last Week of July

Zodiac: Leo (Day 10 of 31)

[fenic-the-clown]

DARK CARNIVAL CHARACTER LORE #3 VIXEN REAVER

(The Carnival's former head of security and at one point its most popular face)

Vixen - You want an interview darling? Why of me? Oh i see for the lore i see i see ok. Well you see my dear for my origin truely began in New Orleans during a shootout between my gang and the florida police they wanted us taken down for good and obviously a woman with needs doesnt want that, but sadly in the end we were shut down and i was taken away and thrown into that horrid little pillow cell until of course i met her....Ther-i mean Fenic she offered me a deal, freedom and the position of second in command and if her plan worked all the money i could want plus more....now once we actually made it out and crafted her "Carnival" we were broke for quite the while her shows were interesting to say the least however it lacked the money she promised so i stepped in and made that little backwoods town circus into a real money maker using my charm and skill in acrobatics and sharpshooting i truely was a master of the craft, in the end i got what i was after i had the money i had the fame now all i wanted was out to make more and to reclaim my family manor back in louisiana, but as you can see that dream was a bit too far away so i instead opened a bar in nevada for criminals and gamblers, i also rebuilt my crew to take on bigger and badder game elsewhere so you see darling it takes more than a circus full of clowns to rule the world.

Vixen Reaver once a badass streetpunk in New Orleans got screwed by the law, joined a circus of clowns and eventually reclaimed her power and set off on her path to reclaiming her family's dark legacy

[sleepdeprivedsimp234]

~Some good ol’ headcanons for my boy Texas~

⚠️mentions of SH, drinking, child abuse, death⚠️

=======================================================================

-daddy issues daddy issues daddy issues-

-Tex is half-Mexican (his father) and half-Puerto Rican (his mother)

-he speaks Spanish, French, and German and has no problem switching between each one

-since he speaks French, and has his own Cajuns, he is literally the only one that is able to understand what Louisiana is talking about

-definitely a secret Swiftie and hell will freeze over before he tells anybody that

-you cannot tell me that this man isn’t an ambivert. Like- he loves people and he’s great with people, but he also enjoys his alone time and can get New York-level awkward in social situations

-he has a drinking problem and used to have a smoking problem, but stopped.

-he is definitely either Loui’s big brother figure or his mother figure (I say mother because he is also the mom friend and makes mother-like fusses and sh*t)

-if you put ANY animal in front of him, he will freak out a little bit and pet it whilst commenting on how cute and precious the animal is. Whenever he and Alaska hang out, he will be petting his dogs every single chance he gets

-in terms of a fight or flight response, he has a fight response. Well- more like you could spook him, and he will swing at you with whatever he has in his hands (or just with his bare hands) and you are going to get hit if you don’t dodge quick enough.

One time Nevada decided to be mischievous and scare the crap out of Texas by grabbing him from behind while he was cutting veggies with a very big kitchen knife and nearly got put on a T-shirt. R.I.P Nevada’s soul that nearly left his body that day.

-Texas sees both Georgia and Kentucky as father figures since his own father sucked (they aren’t dating, but they are the fathers of the south)

(HERE’S SOME ANGSTY SH*T FOR Y’ALL-)

-Texas’s father (Mexico) was an absolute piece of sh*t and abused him both physically and mentally. He also killed Tex’s mother when he was like- 8 years old.

-he hurts himself, but has been trying to stop since Geo, Florida and Loui found out

-during that one winter where Texas and Louisiana both froze over, Texas refused to ask for any help, and kept insisting that he was fine and didn’t need help. He kept saying that he wasn’t in any type of pain, when it was quite obvious that he was in a lot of pain. Tex was friggin’ cold to the touch and sometimes, he would see a small patch of frost or ice on his arm or something, which he would go to the bathroom and pull off. That led to him having MULTIPLE cuts/scratches all over his arms and torso by the time winter was over and it was starting to get warm again.

-sometimes Gov has to go to international meetings and bring a state with him, so when it was Texas’s turn, he would hide behind Gov like a shy child whenever they were somewhere where Mexico was. He doesn’t care what toxic masculinity says, if he is in a room with that b*stard, he will be hiding behind the nearest person he knows as if he was a scared kitten.

-he has frequent panic attacks, but not a lot of the others know that, because they usually happen when he’s alone, but there have been times that they happened while the others were around.

-he uses drinking as a coping mechanism for his PTSD, and it kinda concerns the others that care deeply about him whether they would like to admit it or not.

(Aight angst is over)

-So he and Cali have swapped clothes before or have at least mixed their clothes up before, and despite them both being the same height (6’4), surprisingly Cali’s clothes were kinda big on him. The reason for that is because I imagine Cali to be a lil’ more on the muscular/buff side, and whilst Texas is also fairly muscular, he’s a bit more on the leaner/lankier side.

-he 100% owns a "Keep Austin Weird" shirt

-he still has his mother’s dress, and just wears it sometimes when he is alone. And he absolutely SLAYS in that dress, part of the reason being the fact that he looks almost EXACTLY like his mother

=======================================================================

NOW TAKE SOME INCORRECT QUOTES AND SH*T THAT I CAME UP WITH-

(Also, this first one is just platonic Kentucky/Georgia, they ain’t dating or anything, though people often think that they are since they tend to act like an old healthily married couple)

=============================

(Texting Georgia)

Tex: uhhh… hey Geo?

Georgia: Yea?

Tex: Now don’t be mad….-

Geo: What did you do?

Tex: ME? I didn’t do anything-

Geo: Really?

Tex: Really!!

Geo: *sigh* What happened?

Tex: How on God’s green earth do ya sigh through text-

Geo: Answer the d*mn question.

Tex: Ok ok geez- So long story short, me and Ken went to a bar-

Geo: What did Ken do?

Tex: Will ya let me fini-feghkrsghurkdyvrsk-

Geo: Tex?!

Tex: Sorry nearly got hit by a chair 🥲

Geo: I’M SORRY WHAT?!

Tex: Yea so long story short Ken may or may not have gotten into a bar fight…?

Geo: EXCUSE ME?!

Tex: Yeah…. Hehe….LIUDLSEJGFKIDGXE,FIDXM-

Geo: ??

Tex: F*CK THERE’S COPS-

Geo: It is too early for this….. Are ya hurt??

Tex: Yea but nothin’ too bad. Just a busted lip that’s been bleedin’ for the past 5 minutes is all.

Geo: *sigh* Welp. Y’all better get your *$$es home right now and come to my room.

Tex: Yes sir.

~~~When they got home~~~

Geo: WHAT WERE YOU THINKIN’?! Ya started a bar fight?!

Ken: Now now- the idiot shouldn’t have started runnin’ his big mouth.

Geo: *hands Tex a piece of gauze for his lip* Here Tex, hold it down on yer lip til’ it stops bleedin’. Now KENTUCKY- that was no reason to punch the guy (the guy that Ken was fighting, not Tex)-

*Ken and Geo arguing*

Tex: *just sitting there with a piece of gauze in his mouth and flask of whiskey watching Ken get lectured like a child that stole a cookie from the cookie jar*

===================================================================

Cali, being nosy: Where are you going? 


Tex: Hell, eventually.

=======================================================================

Some jack-wagon at the bar: Hey, are you free? 


Tex: No, I’m expensive.

=======================================================================

Someone: So what are your political beliefs? 


Tex, awkwardly: Well, I think Pikachu would be a lot more powerful if he had a gun-

=======================================================================

Tex: Everything will be ok. You can not stop it. 


Tex: Everything will be fine. You have no choice. 


Geo: What the he// kinda pep talk is that? 


Tex: Ominous positivity.

=======================================================================

Loui: Am I in trouble? 


Tex, after finding out that Loui has not been sleeping enough lately: Take a guess. 


Loui: No? 


Tex: *sigh* Take another guess.

=======================================================================

Loui, T-posing in the doorway: Greetings, Traumatized Mother-figure. 


Tex, not looking up from his coffee: Good morning, problem child.

=======================================================================

Tex, coughing slightly: Calm down, I’m probably not sick. It might just be allergies. 


Mass: Yea I’ve heard that one before…. Okay, tell me this: are you like, really tired? 


Tex: I have depression, what do you think?

=======================================================================

[the-firebird69]

Watch "Florida man bitten by shark, pulled into water in the Everglades" on YouTube

Couple things are odd he's got really big poops and I counted it's like 18 to 20 inches a day and that's like half the size of the food eats or a little bit more most people poop out about 40%. So it's a little bit much but it's better than it was before. Losing some weight and we do see why aren't used speeding up as metabolism and he is burning fat and the body is triggering not to digest so much stuff and it's true and he needs to have the potassium so a lot of people are struggling with it it's going to go on for a while I guess he's overweight.

-this man is BG others knew the truck was there and trying to fish for the shark they grab the shark and brought it in that's when they caught him so later on they think that the other shark is that one no that one gets out. And the shark says he's just like this dimwit and get up.. and she's going he can't hear you you idiot. How's that happen and she's getting something working and we protect her brain when she gets blown up and move her body out and put the brain back so how does that happen since I don't want to keep doing this she's a and we don't want to but we're going to cuz and we have to your witnesses this is for not too good at I said no it's pretty evil then she said okay so we're going ahead with it and these guys are after the shark up north and they're getting killed eating and whole and badly. And we're going to have to have a talk Hera says, if she's laughing a little and says you're already talking and it's true and this is the movie or show from the Orient Express and they're not getting it no they get it they're kind of hell and it's going around that they're not feeling too good and it's true they're not. There's a bunch of stuff happening and I'm in tune to it this place is kind of busting open today is nasty out but you have to go out there so let's see it much more clearly

It's a great day and you heard what it is I'm getting ready to move out they're going to need more troops and they're going to push for the rose cross. They're going to see what we're doing and they're going to push more and gets done I'm very happy with what you're doing

Hera

Well so I probably get a bonus or something LOL

Zues

We're working on that I'm going to try and get it done these people are a bunch of weird people and losers and whiners we're going to try and make it happen and very soon there are a lot of plans to do it but you're kind of getting the idea right now the McDonald's and yeah they're separating our p**** and it's Louisiana past Mississippi and they are going to take over areas of it they're coming down from California into Nevada in the movie casino begins today and all sorts of stuff happens and it's because of Arizona and the clones are amassing out there they're going to oppose MacDonald and the max if they show up and others too are going to make a stand there and that's why the movie is called the stand and it was written by Stephen King who is ghwb

Ghwb

Hahaha my son says this stuff is pretty fancy and it is I got to find myself I got some leads I think I found my other son was running this from beyond the grave I want to tell you this is so gross I can't stand it and I think they made up the code which is also gross but the exam in the bodies and that's gross. It's kind of left it out there and this guy told me I feel stupid and my son said it but it's good it seems like my granddaddy did it no he's my father he's my son's granddaddy and it makes sense that they're attracting attention to keep them alive and he needs them and will take their stuff and keep them around he said her son is going to do slave labor and I looked at him and said to snug necessary to do that putting his face they said yeah it seems like he was very high he goes I'll knock it down for a little while and said you're stupid and code you got mad at me so I think I'm being tortured because of that and he's wrong my son is proving it and he knew about the computers and he has Galactus and some other things like a shark it's very weird I'll tell you what he's a mystery to me sometimes and he grew up under my roof and Mia's mom constantly he kept saying that we have a plan and it turns out we had a plan as a plan I thought it was that but he has one and it's very huge and we're competing with an entity and we don't know what the hell we're doing it's a lot easier than you think and that's the rude part and you're so rude it hurts you're so stupid if he had 500 Grand a year he wouldn't be doing anything driving around trying to start a new businesses with Ken it's repulsively stupid what you're doing

Camilla

[abysscronica]

Hey! I hope you’ll be able to explore more of NYC if you get to go back!! Was there anything in Manhattan that was unexpected or was it pretty much how you thought it to be? Are there any other states on your bucket-list to see in the US?

Hey! Thank you, I hope I'll be back too, I'd love to spend some more time there (unfortunately Manhattan is expensive as hell 😩). It's difficult to explain, it was more or less what I imagined, but I was surprised by the 80/90es-ish look of the city. Friends is my comfort show, and I was struck by the fact that the city still looks pretty much the same as in the series. (I'm a fan of Sex and The City too, so it fits with that as well.)

As for my US bucket list, I would like to visit Hawaii and explore more of the national parks. Yosemite, Death Valley, the Canyons, Great Sand Dunes, White Sands, Yellowstone... City-wise, they told me that Chicago is beautiful (my brother lived in Chicago and Indianapolis for a while, unfortunately I was too busy with university at the time and I couldn't visit him). I also have a good friend in Virginia, so maybe someday I'll have the chance to meet her.

So far I've been to California, Utah, Arizona, Nevada, New York, Delaware, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Florida, Tennessee, Georgia and Louisiana.

Feel free to drop more suggestions! Although I must tell you that my next travel plans are probably going to focus on Asia. Now that more countries re-opened their borders, I hope I'll be able to visit the continent. Buuuut there's still the possibility I'll attend the San Diego Comicon in 2023... so you never know! ♥️