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dcbutinamrev · 3 years

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Burn (Historical Lams)

BURN

*This is based off when Hamilton found out about Laurens’s wife two after they’ve been together. One of my favorite Hamilton anecdotes. So, here. Have this random, ridiculously long angsty, hurt/comfort oneshot. Again, I normally don’t write in third person, I usually write in 1st person POV, but I’m trying something different. Also, I love viewing Lafayette as a older brother figure to Alex*

***

Hamilton stares at the paper clutched tightly in his hands. His vision blurs as he scans the words over and over again, staring down at the words which are written in Laurens’s handwriting. His Laurens. He shakes his head, slowly trying to make sense of his readings, his violet-blue eyes flickering back and forth as he mouths the words over and over again. It can’t be true...it can’t be...

Hamilton flops into his desk chair in his tent, feeling as though all the air has completely drained out of him. He blinks his eyes, in hopes that would stop the unshead tears from falling. His chin wobbles as he shakes his head, letting out a shaky breath, trying to control his emotions and to calm himself.

He turns around in his chair so he’s fully facing his desk now, lighting a candle nearby. He rests the paper in front of him, feeling so many different emotions he can’t comprehend: confused, scared, hurt, betrayed. He lied to him. Laurens, his dear Laurens, had lied to him from the very moment they met, from the very moment they shared their first kiss, from the first intimacy they shared together. He lied to him. Hamilton exhales shakily, trying to make sense of it all as he runs his hands through his wavy, auburn hair that’s still pulled back into a loose ponytail, a dark blue ribbon securing it.

He’s married...

Laurens is married...

This can’t be... Hamilton thinks as he stares down at the letter Laurens had written to his wife back in England, Martha Manning. He shakes his head as he feels something trickle down his freckled cheeks. He can’t be...

Hamilton bites his lip as he stares back down at the letter in front of him. Hamilton tugs at his wavy curls and frantically grabs a chest nearby. He growls frustratingly as a tear slips down his cheek. He unlocks the chest where he uses it to store their personal corrospondences. Their personal letters. He reads the letters Laurens had sent him while he was down in South Carolina for his Southern campagin. Reading words of hope, words of comfort, words of assurances, words of love. Hamilton swallows the lump of tears down his throat as he shifts through the cluster of letters in his hands. He glances at the candle before the letters and then back at the candle again.

Hamilton sniffs as he tries so desperately to calm himself down. He has to remain strong, has to remain brave. He has to be the Little Lion. But he can’t. Hamilton reads one of Laurens’s letters which had been addressde to him again before he couldn’t hold it in any longer.

He breaks.

Hamilton finally lets the tears escape and roll down his freckled cheeks, his chin wobbles as he reads the letter addressed to Manning before glancing back at the letters in hands that were addressed to him. Hamilton tries to stifle a choked sob with the back of his hand, his eyes wide with disbelief, shock written all over his face, He shakes his head again as more tears escape, making it look like rivers on Hamilton’s cheeks.

He’s married. He’s married. He’s married... God, a daughter! He has a daughter!

This cannot be...he can’t be married... Hamilton thinks to himself, reading Laurens’s letters again. He loves me. He told me he loves me and me only...I don’t understand...what did I do wrong? Why didn’t he tell me...? Oh, Jack...

Hamilton is still trying to comprehend, when he hears his tent’s flap flipping open, making a whoosh sound as the intruder enters.

“Alexander! Mon petit lion! The General would like to--”

Marquis de Lafayette skids to a stop when sees Hamilton hunched over his desk, his shoulders heaving up and down as he bites back a sob. Lafayette frowns, his heart cracking immediately at the scene. He’s never seen Colonel Hamilton so broken before. Hesitantly, Lafayette bites his lip as he slowly approaches Hamilton, who he loves dearly like a brother.

“Mon ami...?” Lafayette says as he comes closer to Hamilton and rests a comforting hand on his shoulder.

Hamilton gasps, shooting upright, startled. But lets out a breath of relief when he sees it was just Lafayette.

“Lafayette...you scared me!” Hamilton laughs dryly, sniffling as he wipes the oncoming tears off his cheek. He tries to smile reassuringly, though his lips still wobble.

“Alexander...are you alright? What’s wrong, petit lion?” Lafayette says with a worried expression on his face.

Hamilton expression falters as he glances back down at the letter to Manning and scowls. “Laurens...”

Lafayette stares at Hamilton, shocked. “Laurens?”

Hamilton nods.

Lafayette scowls, his hand resting on top of Hamilton’s and he squeezes it. “What did he do? Did he hurt you? I swear, if he did I will blow him up in the trenches!”

Hamilton scoffs out a laugh and shakes his head and frowns. “No...no, it’s not that. Well, it is John...but...it’s...complicated. I’m not sure you’d understand...”

“Mon ami, I am your friend,” Lafayaette says, crouching down before Hamilton and patting his hand. “And I care for you. Both of you. Dearly. You are like a brother to me, Alexander. I’m worried, Alexander. What happened?”

Hamilton sighs, swallowing before he sniffs again. “He...he lied to me...”

Lafayette’s soft smile turns into a frown, his eyes burning. But he lets Hamilton finish.

“He lied to me...about something that should have been communicated to me long ago...for two years...he...I don’t...I don’t understand, Lafayette...What did I do wrong...?” Hamilton whimpers, staring back at Laurens’s letters to him.

“Alexander...” Lafayette says. Hamilton turns to him, raising an eyebrow. “I may not know what the hell is between you two. I know you both are close and I know he cares for you...just as I...but...I’m sure he had a reason. Perhaps he was...scared...”

“Scared?”

“Perhaps he didn’t know what you would think of him if he told you the truth. Or perhaps he was...perhaps he didn’t...” A pause. “Perhaps he didn’t want to lose you.”

Silence. Hamilton frowns thoughtfully and glances back at the letters. He sniffs before turning back to Lafayette. Lafayette smiles softly and nods, patting his shoulder and squeezing it comfortingly before exiting the tent, the tent’s flap fluttering behind him.

After a while of staring at the letters sprawled out before him, Hamilton stands from his desk, feeling much calmer now with Lafayette’s comforting words but still upset with Laurens. He grabs hold of the letter to Manning and scowl, growling low and deep. He clutches onto the letter as he paces back and forth in his tent, reading the words over and over again. He skids to a stop when he hears his tent being flapped open again.

He stands in front of his desk, his back facing Lieutenant Colonel John Laurens, letter still in hand. Laurens frowns at the uneasiness in the tent, and shivers at the tension in the atmosphere. He swallows thickly when he sees his beautiful Hamilton before him, hunching over his desk. Laurens is suprised that Hamilton isn’t working, like he’d usually find him to be. Laurens bites his lip as he slowly approaches Hamilton.

“Good evening, Laurens,” Hamilton says coldly, flatly. Without any emotion. Nor without turning to him.

Laurens instantly skids to a stop halfway, knowing right there something’s amiss. Hamilton never greets him by his last name.

“Alexander?” Laurens says cautiously, his sky-blue eyes narrowing as he takes off his tricorn hat and placing it on his cot in their shared tent. “What--”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Hamilton says flatly, his eyes shining with unshed tears.

“What--”

“Why didn’t you tell me you had a wife?!” Hamilton barks, whipping his head so quickly Laurens stumbles back, blinking. Totally off-guard. Hamilton scowls, waiting impatiently for a response.

“W-What--” Laurens stutters.

Hamilton sniffs as he snatches the letter to Manning and shoves it in Laurens’s face. Hamilton’s eyes burns with so much hurt and betrayal it makes Laurens’s heart crack.

“What the hell is this?!” Hamilton snaps, his cold tone sending shivers down Laurens’s spine. He shoves the letter into Laurens’s chest again. A tear finally escaping and rolling freely down his cheek. Hamilton’s shoves the letter at Laurens again. “Why the hell didn’t you tell me!”

“Alex—”

“A wife! A wife, John! A wife!” Hamilton wails, tears flooding in his eyes, chin wobbling. Laurens hangs his head down, guilt squeezing his chest. “A daughter! My God John! A daughter!”

“Alexander, please!” Laurens protests.

“You lied to me!” Hamilton cries. “You lied to me! For two years John! Two bloody years!”

Laurens doesn’t say anything. Just swallows and guilty glances down at his boots.

“Alexander, please. Just let me explain. I don’t love her. I never have. I love you and you only—”

Hamilton scoffs, rolling his eyes.

“I know. I know I don’t deserve you, Alex,” Laurens says. His voice calmer. “But just hear me out. And that would be enough.”

Laurens reaches to grab hold of Hamilton’s hand, but Hamilton yanks it back towards his chest. Laurens pinches his lips together and frowns as he lowers his hands. Hamilton avoids eye contact with Laurens, glancing over his shoulder and away from him. Laurens sighs and slowly walks up towards him.

“Alexander...It’s...it’s complicated...but...I am hoping you could forgive me, though I know you will most likely not.”

A pause. Laurens sighs as he plops himself on his cot, running a hand through his honey-blonde hair. Alexander still doesn’t look towards his direction.

“I was an idiot,” Laurens confesses. “I’ll agree with you on that. I was and an idiot. I was young and...I just...I had just...”

“You’d just what?” Hamilton finsishes, his voice calmer as he finally meets Laurens’s gaze.

“I’d just...well...a more recent term would be...” Laurens swallows, clearing his throat. “Let’s start over. I was young and at the time I was with someone named Francis Kinloch. I don’t know if I’ve ever told you about him before--”

“You have...” Hamilton murmurs, flopping down at his desk chair, suddenly intrigued by Laurens’s story, though he’s still upset with Laurens.

Laurens nods and clears his throat. “Right. Well...he and I had the...same...uh...closeness as you and I have and well...left me.” Laurens lets out a shaky breath. “I loved him. I did. But I wanted to go back down to South Carolina but...he wanted to stay in England and well...our views suddenly changed and became different and in a letter, he’d told me he’d better off stay in England. And I just couldn’t do that...so...I was drunk one day after I discovered about Kinloch...and... I couldn’t cope with the fact that...he has and will leave me forever.” A pause. “And I...I...saw Manning and figured she could help me overcome this thing inside me and well...”

Laurens looks up at Hamilton, waiting for his response. But Hamilton says nothing. He stares directly into Laurens’s eyes with a blank look and his arms over his chest, waiting for Laurens to continue. Laurens sighs again.

“I was foreced to marry her, Alexander,” Laurens continues. He stands up from the cot and walks over towards him, crouching down before him and grabbing hold of his hand. Hamilton doesn’t yank it back. “I had no other choice. I had to marry her to keep her honor and mine. I had to marry her, Alexander. But...but that does not change my love for you. I do hope you can forgive me...I never intended to hurt you nor for you to discover about it like this.”

Hamilton looks down at Laurens before him. Laurens squeezes Hamilton’s before bringing it up towards his lips and presses a soft kiss to Hamilton’s knuckles. Hamilton smiles just a little as he watches Laurens fondly. Hamilton squeezes Laurens’s hand which causes Laurens to look up sharply.

Laurens smiles when he sees Hamilton smiling softly. Hamilton sniffs as Laurens helps him to his feet. Hamilton tips his head back slightly to lock his eyes with Laurens as Laurens slides his hands down towards his hips while Hamilton rests his hands on Laurens’s chest, right underneath his cravat. Hamilton stares at the spot between his hands on Laurens’s chest, watching his chest rise and fall.

Laurens smiles as he tucks a loose curl behind Hamilton’s ear. “I love you, Alexander. I love you, so much. I would give my life for you, just to see you happy, just to see you safe and unharmed. I am so sorry, my love. I never meant--”

Hamilton suddenly smashes his lips onto Laurens’s, kissing him quiet. Laurens stands there, with his arms hovering around Hamilton’s waist, his eyes blown wide and he holds his breath, shoulders tensed up to his ears as Hamilton grabs him by the lapels to deepn the kiss. Eventually, Laurens’s eyes flutter close as he melts into the kiss, angling his face to capture Hamilton’s lips a little better before snaking his arms around Hamilton’s waist, pulling him closer so their chests are almost touching.

After a few minutes, they unfortunately have to pull apart for a breath of air. Laurens grins idiotically as he rests his forehead against Hamilton’s, his nose nudging against Hamilton’s freckled cheek. Hamilton giggles as Laurens pecks his lips one last time.

“I’m guessing I am forgiven?” Laurens asks with a laugh as he pulls back a little to look into Hamilton’s deep dark blue eyes, almost a shade of violet with the candle flickering between them.

Hamilton giggles before he connects their lips again. Hamilton sighs as they pull apart, resting his head on Laurens’s chest, listening to his heartbeat. Hamilton closes his eyes and smiles.

“You are, my love. You are.”

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disaster-by-chance · 4 years

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Okay, okay, I think I'm finally going to address Clover's death.

I know a lot of people had mixed feelings towards Clover and that a lot of people had upset feelings about his death, but I just wanna put my own opinions on it out here for all y'all.

Clover Thoughts:

At first, I wasn't too sure what to think about Clover. I wanted to like him and his team, I really did. I always get excited when cool new characters are introduced and these guys were no exception. However, since I didn't know them well and they all seemed really cocky, I couldn't help but think that they were going to be traitors or something. I bought into the Clover is a traitor theories, despite me being really interested in his character.

For me,, when someone like Clover comes along, big, confident, strong, I immediately latch onto them. There's just something so intriguing about those kinds of people that just draws me in. So I couldn't resist him. But I also didn't trust him.

Time went on and slowly I began to trust him. He really hadn't shown any warning signs or hinted at betrayal, so I started to step away from the traitor theories. I did have a nightmare in where Clover did turn and it destroyed some of the trust I had built up,, but we don't talk about that.

Okay, I liked Clover. I genuinely did. I know some fans didn't care too much for him or they just didn't like him at all, but I did. I thought he was an interesting character and I was excited to see how he and Qrow's relationship (not necessarily romantically) would play out. I just wanted luck puns

I think part of me liking Clover is just that he was nice to Qrow. He was different in his actions to him and that kinda helped Qrow with his journey to recovery. If it wasn't obvious, Qrow is my favorite character from RWBY. I'm just naturally drawn to characters who have problems and then just suddenly turn into dad figures.

So since he was nice to Qrow, I liked him. And that's just me, that's how I am. If someone's nice to me,, I just fall for them instantly. You have my never ending loyalty. Clover had my loyalty.

Soon Clover played a bigger part in how I lived life. I started to want to be more like him, more positive, more uplifting, and all that crap. I spent a week giving my siblings compliments and it freaked them out. Clover's character made me want to be better. Hell, we don't know how much Clover knew about Qrow before James paired them up. He was just nice for the sake of being nice. What was he going to get out of it? He just saw that Qrow needed a friend, Qrow needed to get better, and so he helped. And gods,, that really did motivate me.

His clover became a helpful symbol for me. I made a little paper cut out to put in my phone case for some good luck. Then I made a wallpaper of the pin for my digital watch face as a reminder to be better. And last Saturday I made a keychain to have with me at all times. A reminder to be better about things. More positive.

I guess you could say he was something of a role model to me? And I know that's ridiculous after what he did and seeing as he wasn't here for long,, but damn...I really did like him.

I don't know. I just really liked him and wish I knew more about his past and semblance. I wish his story could've been explored more and stuff but...Things didn't quite work out that way.

The Fight:

I was,, disappointed to say the least. And at this point, I don't even know why I expect anything from any creator.

Look, I'm in the Marvel and Star Wars fandoms so I've had my fair (haha) share of bad characterization, bad arcs, and bad writing. But I thought RWBY was different and better than that.

I spent most of the scenes when they were fighting in anger. Tyrian was their target. He was more of a priority. They should've acted like civilized huntsman. But no.

And I get it, Clover had to do his job. They were all under stress and the atmosphere was really tense, I understand. But really?

I'm glad Qrow attempted to talk things out, but then, y'know...That didn't work out well in the end.

After the plane crash, I was devastated. I hated seeing the two fight against each other after seeing them work so well together in capturing Tyrian, and it just sucked.

I kept telling them to just talk it out, and in between the fighting they kinda did, but it just hurt. The hurt in Qrow's voice? Ugh. So good.

The teamup?? I get it. Qrow doesn't want to fight both of them, but why not turn into a bird and fly away? Or would that not work? I don't know..Anything else would've been nice.

Still hated these fight scenes. Even if the choreography was really good.

His Death Thoughts:

If you didn't buy into the traitor theory, then you had the death theory. That either him or someone from the Ace Ops was going to kick the bucket. And if you were like me, you believed both were possible.

When I was unsure about Clover, I also bought into the death theories. I didn't really want him to die, but I knew that it could happen, but I thought it would be later on. Other times I found it very possible that both would happen. And they fucking did.

At this point, I had totally forgotten about the death theories. I loved Clover too much to believe in that kind of shit. So when it happened, it hit me like a bus.

I was in utter shock and I don't think I started crying till later. After the video ended,, I just slammed my laptop shut and sobbed for a good ten minutes.

It was probably the most brutal thing I'd ever seen and just,, it hurt so much. Emotionally and physically. It just sucked..

I was upset because I knew he wasn't coming back from this. It was a huge wound. I was upset because I loved Clover. Stop killing my favorites. I was upset because it could've been avoided. And I was upset because what was the point other than for Qrangst?

I'm going to be honest, the scene did make me a little sick. And for the rest of the day I just had a terrible feeling in my stomach and that night I had a nightmare because of all the stress and pain I was feeling over the death.

So, yeah. It really did affect me and I hated the whole thing a lot. Not from a shipping point of view or anything, but because I liked Clover and because I want just a little more Qrangst, not a lot.

Throughout the week though, my brain has tried to both hurt and try to comfort me over my loss. Constantly the scene of him being stabbed replays in my mind and then everything goes greyscale before a kazoo verison of "Piano Man" starts to play. It's ridiculous and I hate my brain for thinking about it.

But the death did make me feel a lot of things. None that which were positive emotions.

Fan Response:

Okay, I love being in a fandom. I do. But with every fandom comes toxicity and RWBY is no exception. We probably have some of the worst cases of toxic fans, right next to Star Wars and Marvel.

I acknowledge that it feels like queerbaiting and BYGs,, but I just,, I don't know.

I think death threats are terrible. There's no reason for this. It's a fucking ship. Representation is great, I know. I'm a biracial bisexual, I live for representation. Nothing was explicitly said (i.e Clover flat out saying that he was gay or bi or pan,, ect)

Were they flirting? Maybe. Did things happen off screen that we didn't get to see? Likely. Yeah, they had their gay moments but Clover's trying to get Qrow to loosen up. He wants him to crack jokes with him and stuff. Y'all gotta be friends first before any sort of romantic relationships blossom.

Yes, shame on CRWBY for hyping Fairgame up and then literally killing it, but the need for death threats?? Quitting the show?? Ridiculous! They're real life humans who enjoy working on this show! Leave them be!

Look, every fandom has a moment in where their fans are left disappointed. They can't please everyone but they try their best and I think CRWBY is one example.

I'm a multishipper. I don't care who ends up with who, so long as they're happy. And so since one guy is dead and the other is probably broken by it,, you can say I'm upset too.

Am I sending death threats? No. Do I feel for Fairgame shippers. Yes. Will I quit watching the show? Of course fucking not. Am I hoping Clover comes back? 🤡 It's not that complicated.

So yeah. Those are my thoughts on the major controversies that came out of the last episode. Let me know what y'all thought.

And please. Be respectful.

It's what Monty would want.

#rwby #qrow branwen #rwby spoilers #clover ebi #rwby7 #rwby vol7 #rwbyv7 #fair game #rwby discussion #lucky charms #opinions #clown activity

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verobatto · 5 years

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Destiel Chronicles

(Vol. XXIV)

It was a love story, from the very beginning.

Heartbroken

(6x20/6x21/6x22)

Hello my dears! How are you? This is another Chronicle and the last one for season 6!!

This is gonna be a hard meta... *Sobbing* we're here together so...

Thanks to my friend @agusvedder she made the gifs for this meta and discussed a while crying profusely, with me.

Ok, let's start with this!

When Cas broke Dean's heart

Still in episode 6x20...

When Cas saves the guys from demons, Dean is happy to see him, and everyone in the room felt sorry for doubt about him, but...

Remember all that blind trust Dean had in Castiel, even with the proof on the table? Well... Cas said something that broke Dean's heart and trust. He mentioned the whole Superman going to the dark side thing. A talk Bobby, Dean and Sam had gotten alone, well, they thought they were alone.

And Dean's face is... Gah... He realizes Cas is spying on them, and lying, and cheating... And... His heart breaks and is all over his face.

Even his smile is sad, very sad... Mixed with anger.

And then we are dragged again to Cas's memories...

You know when you watch your crush with longing eyes... Yes... Cas contemplating Dean, is a very romantic scene, he didn't want to perturbed him, and in his own words...

CASTIEL So I went to an old friend for help. But watching him, I stopped. Everything he sacrificed, and I was about to ask him for more.

Is curious how an ancient creature as Cas thinks his friendship with Dean is old. Dean is an old friend of Castiel.

And also... He saw Dean was having a good life, well, that's what he thought, and because he loves him, he didn't want to break that life. He, as Bobby and Sam, thought Dean wanted that life, they assumed Dean was happy having that life. And they were wrong.

In this point, Crowley appears... He's the temptation here, and Cas fell for it. The devil tempting a desperate angel that needs more power to stop the new Apocalypse and save the world and his friends. His old friend, mostly, Dean Winchester.

So, he did it for him? Sure. He'll say that later...

Falling in Temptation

Is very interesting to analyze the sequence of how Crowley tempts Castiel... Is the same mechanism the devil uses with his victims...

First of all... The adulation...

CASTIEL: I'm not strong enough, and you know it.

CROWLEY: Ah, not on your own, you're not. But you're not on your own, are you? There's a lot of angels swooning over you. "God's favorite." Buddy boy, you've got what they call sex appeal.

CASTIEL: Thank you. Get to the point.

Watch here how Crowley praises him, you're the God's fav, angels follow you, you have sex appeal... I mean... Is obvious he's trying to seduce Castiel to make him accept a deal with Hell... Is the same method the devil uses for tempting humanity.

The second part of this is the offer... Generally, the offer is POWER, so here... Is the same.

CASTIEL: This is ridiculous. I mean, the amount of power that it would take to mount a war...

CROWLEY: More than either of us have ever seen, yeah. But what if I said I knew how to go nuclear?

CASTIEL What do you mean?

CROWLEY: Purgatory, my fine feathered friend. Purgatory. Just think about it. An untapped oil well of every fanged, clawed soul. I mean, what's that over the years? 30 million? 40 million? Just sitting there, plump and rich for the taking.

Here is when Crowley put the coin, he does adulated Cas and now he offered him a way to win the war... Becoming nuclear, the immense power of souls... So Cas takes it.

But there's something interesting too when Crowley designed the plan, he infered he needed Sam and Dean to get the monsters, and Cas was determinant here ...

CASTIEL No. Not Dean. He's retired, and he's to stay that way.

He's protecting Dean's apple pie life, he thought this was a way to protect him. He wouldn't let Crowley to hurt Dean or to get him into that war.

The Betrayal

Well, we need enter now in the worst par of all... Let me cry under that tree for a moment... I'll be right back...

Ok... Let's start this...

Dean prays to Castiel and he appears, they lock Cas in an angel trap, and Bobby and Sam began to confront him.

And because he's desperately looking to one side and another but avoiding Dean's gaze... This is what happens... (Damn...)

You know how sacred are our Destiel's stares... They talk with their eyes. Is the way they share their emotions... So Dean needed that, Castiel look at me in the eye!

It hurts a lot, because Dean's facial expression when Cas averted his eyes to the ground, because it was truth. Dean is heartbroken.

Dean named the things Bobby and Sam had been trying to make him see. And he can't believe it. He can't believe HIS CAS, the one he was defending with his whole body and soul against the suspicious, had betrayed him... And everything was truth.

I need some ice cream and cry a lot...

After this the confrontation goes on, and Sam is thinking Cas saved him from Hell without soul on purpose? That's the extreme of Castiel becoming evil, but Sam is thinking that because he never trusted blindly in Castiel, because he was Dean's best friend, not his... (But this will change in the next season. Their relationship will have an important turn.)

The next time Dean talks is here...

CASTIEL Listen. Raphael will kill us all. He'll turn the world into a graveyard. I had no choice.

DEAN: No, you had a choice. You just made the wrong one.

(This is the next thing Dean said to Cas, he had a choice, ask him for help, he's showing him the path he should choose. He's teaching him, as always.)

CASTIEL: You don't understand. It's complicated.

DEAN: No, actually, it's not, and you know that. Why else would you keep this whole thing a secret, huh, unless you knew that it was wrong? When crap like this comes around, we deal with it... Like we always have. What we don't do is we don't go out and make another deal with the Devil!

Here, Dean gets mad because he more listen Castiel's excuses, he more understands Castiel's is covering his lies with more lies.

CASTIEL: It sounds so simple when you say it like that.

This is so, so romantic people, the longing stares, the sadness in their eyes. Is like loosing a precious thing you found, a precious, beautiful and warm thing, that vanishes. It was Dean's hopes and faith. Cas was his savior, his best friend, his angel.

Give me just a minute, I need to roll on the floor and cry a little more ...

And then... The danger is near again, and Cas is trapped but he's worried about them, and he asks them to leave, to run... And that last looks between them... People who says this isn't a romantic scene... Fight me, because that's Dean saying... "Why you did this to me?, I love you," and Cas is saying "I love you too, but I had to do it. The mission comes first."

They talk with their eyes people...

Destiel breakup

Ok... Idk if Bobby draw the no angel sigil wrong, I like to think it was Dean. Because is weird Bobby not doing things like that well... And Dean wanted to talk with CAS again... It's obvious because he will try twice to convince him.

CASTIEL: I'm doing this for you, Dean. I'm doing this because of you.

Well we have the confirmation here, is for him, for Dean, to protect him.

DEAN Because of me. Yeah. You got to be kidding me.

CASTIEL You're the one who taught me that freedom and free will --

DEAN You're a freakin' child, you know that? Just because you can do what you want doesn't mean that you get to do whatever you want!

Dean knows Cas tries to do things right, he was his free will teacher, that's why now, he'll try to convince Cas.

Now... First try...

DEAN I'm not gonna logic you, okay? I'm saying don't...Just 'cause. I'm asking you not to. That's it.

CASTIEL I don't understand.

Dean is asking desperately, because he sees Castiel has his mission in first place, and it doesn't let him see things as Dean want him to see it. So he says I SAY YOU DON'T, SO YOU DON'T, THAT'S IT. Like a father to a child.

Second intent...

DEAN Look, next to Sam, you and Bobby are the closest things I have to family -- that you are like a brother to me. So, if I'm asking you not to do something...You got to trust me, man.

Again, he uses the same technic, but Cas just gets it as an attempt of defiance... Bc he's at war.

CASTIEL Or what?

Here's a different way to impose his power over Dean with that time Soulless!Sam tried to defy him. He went straight to confront him physically, invading his personal space, showing him not fear, "Would you, boy? How?"

This time... Is Dean... So... The way he says these words, with sorrow in his face. That's the difference between you and me, Dean... I'm an angel, you're just a man. We're from two different worlds... I'm stronger than you. So don't say you would stop me as if I was a monster.

DEAN I don't know. I've taken some pretty big fish.

CASTIEL I'm sorry, Dean.

DEAN Well, I'm sorry, too, then.

Mission comes first. Cas is a soldier.

This was their break up.

Loosing people, loosing you

If you were sobbing with 6x20, now 6x21 is... A sea of tear... "Let it Bleed".

At the beginning of the episode they're talking about Cas, Dean's face is a mix of sadness and longing, he's asking a question he maybe already knew, why did Cas come last night? If he didn't want to fix things?

Dean wanted to fix things with CAS, so when he saw him he tried fiercely to convince him, but he couldn't, then Bobby reveals Cas stole some book.

More dagas in Dean's heart. So he didn't come to see me, but to steel some book?

Crowley kidnapped Lisa and Ben, and Dean got crazy... Sam wanted to help him but he didn't know how... Balthazar didn't want to help, so he proposed something...

SAM: Look, Dean. Let's just call Cas. Maybe he doesn't know anything about this.

DEAN: We are not calling Cas.

SAM: Yeah, but Dean.

DEAN: We're not calling Cas!

Definitely not calling Cas, Dean is tremendously mad at him.

He will try to get some info from demons, and one will attack him... Cas will save him, and again... The struggling with the feelings...

This time is Cas trying to convince Dean he had not choice and he has to do it.

And the following lines...

Gah!!! That had to hurt... Damn, Cas you don't have to say Dean things he already knew... You was his ally, his best friend. He trusted you with his life. But Castiel's face is like someone who's pleading... Please Dean understand, forgive me, I love you. I'm doing this for you.

Can I die now?

And Dean's face is... Ugh! Suffering, suffering... I love you man, but you just screwed things up, badly, I can't forgive you.

And then...

CASTIEL: I came to tell you that I will find Lisa and Ben, and I will bring them back. Stand behind me, the one time I ask.

DEAN: You're asking me to stand down?

CASTIEL: Dean.

DEAN: That's the same damn ransom note that Crowley handed me. You know that, right? Well no thanks. I'll find 'em myself. In fact, why don't you go back to Crowley and tell him that I said you can both kiss my ass.

Now he's mad, very mad... He walks away and gives Castiel his back, clenching his fist with anger.

He's trying to control himself, he can't believe CAS is talking like Crowley, is the worst, where's his Castiel???

The face he made after Cas is gone is priceless, is a mix between pain, anger and sadness... Gah.

Ok, hospital... Lisa is in bad shape... And Castiel appears...

DEAN: What do you want?

He's so, so mad at Cas.

CASTIEL: Dean, listen.

DEAN: What do you want me to say? She'll be dead by midnight.

CASTIEL: I'm sorry.

DEAN: I don't care. It's too little, too late.

CASTIEL: Okay. Well, regardless, I didn't come for you.

DEAN: Meaning?

CASTIEL: (he walks up to Lisa and places his hand on her forehead, healing her) She's fine now. She'll wake soon. Dean, I said I'm sorry and I meant it.

Ok... This was sad and it'll be the last time they will talk about it before Cas become Godstiel.

Dean is heartbroken, he lost Lisa, Ben and now Cas... Because he can't elaborate in his head Cas isn't his friend anymore. So heartbroken, his face is priceless here. His eyes with unshed tears. Because of CAS. He will ask him to erase Ben and Lisa memories, but Castiel's Betrayal, as he will say in 7x17, he couldn't swallow it... So yes, this face is mostly for Castiel. Bc he lost him.

Godstiel, and the last intent to get Cas back

In episode 6x22, the last of the season, Cas did two things, in my opinion, were out of character.

1) He broke Sam's mental war (when in Season 5 he will kill anyone who tries to hurt him) he never NEVER would do something to hurt Sam.

2) He killed Balthazar, another friend, bc he felt he'd betrayed him.

Ok... This maybe was used by the showrunner to present us the wrong path Cas was following to his mere death.

Don't worry, she'll be asked to fix this by writing Castiel's return to the show in 7x17 (oops).

After doing these two things, he become Godstiel, he wasn't Cas, he was a new entity.

The way he was talking to Dean showed us that. He was like a heartless powerful creature.

Even so, Dean will try to get to him...

We can see in the hunter's face fears and concern about his friend...

DEAN: Listen to me. Listen, I know there's a lot of bad water under the bridge, but we were family once. I'd have died for you. I almost did a few times. So if that means anything to you... Please. I've lost Lisa, I've lost Ben, and now I've lost Sam. Don't make me lose you too. You don't need this kind of juice anymore, Cas. Get rid of it before it kills us all.

So desperate, he knew it was a huge danger Cas was like a nuclear bomb, but there's love in his words. He's trying his best to get his angel back. It was in vain, as we know...

To Conclude

Dean and Cas break up showed us the profound love they feel for each other, 6x20 and 6x21 were purely romantic, and you can feel the pain and the longing all over it.

It was clear that loosing Cas wasn't loosing just a friend, it hurted badly to Dean because, as I said in the last volume, Cas was more than family to him.

The performance from the actor was deliberately played as a romantic scene. Jensen and Misha knew what they were doing there. It was two people in love breaking up.

Ok, we finished this season people, sorry for the long post! But next one we will get into season 7, I assume it'll be less volumes.

I hope you like this, see you in the next chronicle.

Tagging @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weirddorkylittlediana @michyribeiro @whyjm @koshisekisen @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @angelneedshunter @trickster-archangel @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @mishka-the-angel-of-saturday @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @xsghn @foxyroxe-art @authorsararayne @anonymoustitans @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @wildligia @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-is--endgame @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

If you want to be tagged, please let me know.

If you want to check the previous volumes...

Vol. XV, XVI, XVII, XVIII, XIX, XX, XXI, XXII, XXIII

Buenos Aires, Augusto 14th 2019 8:07 PM

#destiel chronicles #destiel meta #supernatural meta #season 6 meta #vol. xxiv

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anunquenchableflame · 5 years

Text

Horizon’s Ghost

Setting: ME2, right after Priority: Horizon Characters: Rani Shepard, Garrus Vakarian Content: F!Shepard x Kaidan / SFW / 99% written to get one stupid joke out of my system

Shepard didn’t deal well with failure. Turned out she wasn’t great with disappointment either.

Also on AO3

Horizon had been a nightmare.

Oh, Mordin’s upgrades had protected them from the swarm, just as he’d said they would. They’d taken down everything the Collectors could throw at them and driven them away with their harvest incomplete. But ultimately they’d been too late for most of the colony, and that counted as mission failure in Shepard’s eyes.

Shepard did not deal well with failure.

And then there was seeing Kaidan again… nothing could have prepared her for that. He’d always been in a corner of her mind, ever since she awoke. She’d quietly imagined countless scenes of their reunion: Part of her kept an eye out for him every time they went to the Citadel, hoping happenstance would see them brought together. They’d laugh, they’d kiss, they’d cry, and they'd pick up right where they'd left off, as if it had been nothing but a few weeks apart. It was soppy and ridiculous, and all that was missing was the swelling soundtrack.

None of her idle imaginings had included the sweat, the blood, the stink of eezo, or the look of confusion that had turned to utter wounded betrayal when they finally stood face-to-face. She hadn’t imagined the clipped accusative tone of his voice, the hardness in what had always been such soft warm eyes. She hadn’t imagined how much it would hurt. They couldn’t have left the colony quickly enough after that and she’d refused to meet anyone’s eyes in the shuttle, lest they see how hard she was struggling to build a dam against her welling emotions.

Turned out Shepard didn’t deal particularly well with disappointment either.

She’d been fending off call-me-Kelly ever since they’d returned to the ship. No, she didn’t want to talk about the mission; no, not about seeing Kaidan either; no, definitely not about her attitude to failure; NO. She did not want the interfering naive busybody taking notes and reporting back any more than she already did. What she wanted was to take a hot shower, cry for about an hour, eat dinner, go to bed, and maybe cry some more. Maybe hit something, should a target present itself.

She’d managed step one of that plan. Hot water had washed away the dirt and sweat of the mission and eased her tense muscles, but not her mood. She’d dried off and wrapped up in her dressing gown–warm and soft and totally devoid of Cerberus emblems, courtesy of their last trip to the Citadel–and was squeezing the moisture out of her hair when someone tapped at the door.

“I told you it’s none of your fucking business, Chambers!” Rani snapped.

“Shepard, it’s me.” Garrus’s drawl was unmistakable even through the bulkhead. She paused in towelling her hair for a moment but then went on with renewed intensity, resolutely ignoring him.

A minute later: “Still here, Shepard.”

Rani let out an exasperated sigh. She went to the door and glared at the interface for a moment, then opened it to transfer the glare to the persistent turian on the other side.

“Not now, Vakarian. It’s been a long day.”

“I know. I thought you might want to talk about it.”

“Nothing to talk about,” she said, with a shrug that wasn’t convincing anyone.

Garrus slipped past her and sauntered into the cabin while she made ineffectual protesting noises. He noted the photo frame face down on her desk. Though it was his first time in her cabin it didn’t take any great leap of deductive reasoning to guess whose face had been slammed into the desktop. He picked up the frame, which lit up at the contact, and found exactly the portrait he’d expected on the other side.

“You know,” he began casually. “I went to your memorial. Nice ceremony, if a little pompous. Everyone was very complimentary, especially the people who’d never met you. No-one who had could have said such nice things, not with a straight face.” Shepard couldn’t help but smile a little at that, despite her determination to stay disgruntled. “Anderson was more realistic, said you were a pain in the ass but you knew how to get the job done and we’d all be a little weaker for your loss, though he may have said it more politely than that. He asked Alenko if he’d say something too, but I don’t think he had the words. Not for that crowd anyway. Now, I don’t know much about human mourning rituals but getting extremely drunk seems to be important, so as soon as we found a bar that could serve a dextro beer, I obliged. You know Kaidan starts to glow when he’s drunk a lot? At least I think that part was real, hard to tell in hindsight, there really was a lot of alcohol…” Garrus shook his head. “In any case: we talked, the way men who are very drunk and very sad do.” He carefully placed the frame back on Shepard’s desk with Kaidan’s shy smile pointed right at her, the sniper’s precise shot to the heart as unerring as ever. “He’s angry now, but I don’t think he could hate you even if he tried.”

Rani regarded the portrait for a moment, her eyes downcast, before speaking. “I know.”

“You do?” Garrus’s mandibles did the thing Shepard had always interpreted as turian eyebrow raising. “Damn, I was all prepared to talk you round. I had a speech ready and everything.”

Shepard shrugged. “I suppose I should have expected his reaction. If our roles were reversed it… would not have been so dignified. There’d be yelling and broken things. Probably no colony left at all.” She hugged her arms close to her chest. “I don’t know what I thought was going to happen. I hoped he’d be glad to see me, that he’d understand and everything would go back to how it was but it’s… more complicated than that. And after you and Tali took it all in your stride, I guess I–” She stopped and shook her head, dismayed at the insane unlikelihood of her situation. No-one was equipped for the dead coming back to life, not the bereft nor the departed themselves. Kaidan had called her a ghost, and that didn’t seem far off. It should be a wonder that anyone was coping.

“Oh, there was some processing to be done, believe me,” said Garrus. “But it had to wait until after the siege and the rocket to the face and the lifesaving surgery, after which Commander Shepard being not so dead didn’t seem like such a stretch.” He paused. “Also I’d had a message from Tali right before that all went down, the gist of which was ‘What And How The Fuck’.”

Shepard huffed a half-hearted laugh. “Good question.” She flopped back against the illuminated glass of the fishtank and slid down until she sat on the floor. After a moment Garrus hunched down next to her.

“I guess he told you all about us then?” asked Rani, looking down at her hands as she absently picked at her fingernails. “Our illicit affair.” That sounded dramatic, but it was true enough. They’d both known how much trouble there’d be if they were found out, but that had seemed less and less important as time went on.

“Didn’t really need to, Shepard.” Garrus sounded apologetic, but also slightly amused.

“Oh.” She winced, not sure if she wanted the answer to her next question: “Did everyone know?”

“Not everyone. But I think most of us realised there was a little more going on than you wanted us to see.”

She shook her head ruefully. “We thought we were so discreet.”

“Oh, no, you were pretty good. No-one ever caught him sneaking out of your cabin or anything. But you couldn’t hide some things: The way you looked at each other, or stood a touch closer together than normal, the way he’d help you with your armour, or all those little wordless agreements. Anyone who spent much time with the two of you could tell how close you were. And you forget- I was a detective. May not have found anything solid on Saren but you two were a much easier case to crack.”

“I’m not sure that comforts me… Who knows, maybe there’s a court martial waiting for me if I ever get back to the Alliance. Though I suppose fraternizing with a fellow officer might be quite low on the list of my offenses. Did kind of mutiny and steal a ship even before I was a traitor.”

“You saved a colony from being totally wiped out. You’ve saved a lot of people. As far as I can see you’re doing the same job you always did, how’s that make you a traitor?”

“Oh, maybe because it’s Cerberus paying the bills? They’re the enemy, and here I am working for them. With them,” she quickly corrected herself. She grew quiet again. “Kaidan certainly thought it did.”

“He’ll come around. Right now he doesn’t have all the facts.”

“I’m not sure that I do either. I just wish we’d had more time to talk. Explain, in as much as I can.”

“Think you could have talked him into coming along?”

“Yes. No. I don’t know... Maybe it’s best that he’s not involved. They’d only find a way to use him to manipulate me. Again.” The last word was bitter in her mouth. Clearly her old crew weren’t the only ones to put two and two together. They’d known exactly how to invest her in Horizon. No, the further away Kaidan was the better it was for both of them. Not that all of her was on board with that conclusion. “I just wanted more time to talk. For him it's been years but for me it feels like only a few months. He's worked through it all and gotten over me, while I'm still- I’m still newly in love.” Her voice wavered and tears suddenly welled up, the carefully constructed floodgates of her composure finally bursting open with the admission. She buried her face in her arms. “It's so stupid.” Her shoulders shook and her words were muffled as they were forced out between sobs. “I’m a goddamned marine. N7. The first human Spectre. I won the Star of Terra when I was twenty-two. I’ve come back from the dead, faced geth and collectors and husks and reapers and rogue Spectres and- and I'm sitting here in my dressing gown crying over fucking Kaidan Alenko.”

There was a thoughtful pause.

Turians could not, technically, smirk. They didn't have the mouths for it. You needed lips and different cheek muscles. But there was a way that they tilted their heads and did a thing with their mandibles that was close, and Garrus had a voice that was basically an aural smirk anyway. So when he spoke next Rani assumed that his words were delivered with a smirk.

“Isn't this about… not fucking Kaidan Alenko?”

Her mouth formed an indignant O as she looked up, red eyed, at Garrus and smacked him on the arm. It wasn't hard and he probably couldn’t feel it through the armour and carapace, but it certainly made her feel better. “I am heartbroken and in tears, Vakarian, and you're making shitty jokes!”

“Oh come on, Shepard, I couldn't leave that there. And now you're laughing and crying, that's an improvement, right?” Shepard knew a shit-eating-grin when she saw it no matter the shape of the face it was on.

“I saved your life and this is the treatment I get?” She sniffed and wiped her nose with the back of her hand, a small grudging smile fighting the urge to resume crying. “I can’t believe I let you back on my crew, you’re terrible.”

“True enough.”

“Of all the people I could have had back I had to get the smart-arse turian.”

“Humans tell me that beggars can’t be choosers. Also something about the use of projectiles in glass structures that I’m not sure if I’m remembering correctly.” Garrus looked down at her very seriously. “I don’t know if anyone’s told you, but you’re kind of a smart-ass yourself.”

“You’re just trying to rile me up so I’m not miserable anymore.”

“Well, I know how to deal with you when you’re angry, I’m… I’m not sure what to do with sad,” he admitted. “I’m not very good at this.”

The fight went out of her in one breath. “Me either.” She wiped her nose again and pressed her lips together as the tears threatened to well up once more. “I miss everyone. Not just Kaidan- Wrex, Tali, Liara–” she paused and sniffed “–Ash. She’d have some things to say right now, I’m sure.”

Garrus chuckled. “Spirits, can you imagine? She’d be even more pissed with you than Kaidan was.”

“No doubt. Maybe if I’d had both of them glaring at me I’d have stayed right there and given Cerberus the finger.”

“I have no idea what that means but it sounds extremely intimate.”

Rani snorted. “I’m really glad you’re here Garrus.” She leaned her head against his shoulder. “Terrible as you are.”

“Hey, someone’s got to watch your back. And without the rest of the old crew around, I guess it had better be the smart-ass turian. Now, what does giving someone a finger mean?”

“With those talons, I think it’s best you don’t know.”

#mass effect #commander shepard #f!shepard #garrus vakarian #shenko #fan fic #rani shepard #rani x kaidan #fic:rani #this has been lurking in my drive almost finished for like a year #my art is speedy in comparison to my writing #it may be awful #the joke certainly is

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bluesunsdusk · 4 years

Text

Evfra, and alien attraction and friendship

Evfra actually has little against individual aliens. Unlike some of his kind, he won't be assuming all members of a species are the same, though he may regard them as similar to each other and does foster a few strong prejudices. For example, he generally will trust Salarians less, due to many stories from Milky Way species regarding them, namely from the Krogans. He will also keep into account a species-wide affiliation, and if the Initiative ever goes too far, all aliens stemming from it will be subject to suspicion.

Anyway, that's not what this post is supposed to be about, is it?

I will place the rest under a read more for length.

Dating an alien or even being close with one can be a difficult matter, considering the climate in Heleus among the Angara. Aliens are not trusted among a great many of his people. Unlike the Milky Way species, who have lived together for so long now, angara have never had the opportunity to entertain the thought of coexistence with another species as a real possibility until the kett arrived, and we all know how well that played out.

While he is tolerant of them, and he is accepting to the idea of interspecies dating between a Milky Way alien and one of his own, albeit with some difficulty understanding how this happened, he himself has an image and reputation to uphold. He is fully able to love an alien in a romantic sense after some time, he simply couldn't act on it. Not in public, at least. There are too many risks.

The Roekaar already weakened the Resistance, and their cooperation with the Initiative garnered many harsh criticisms from both outside and inside the Resistance. He won't risk pushing criticism to desertion or betrayal at this point in time. It's ridiculous that one would abandon the Resistance for something such as that and possibly condemn their own kind to extinction, but it's understandable. The angara are an emotional people and there is no way he will not hear any disagreements about a relationship. There is also no way nobody will decide to leave the Resistance because of such a relationship.

Perhaps, when the angaran people are no longer at risk and the Initiative has further earned the trust placed in them by many, he will entertain the thought. Of course, this is all going by a Ryder who makes decisions that benefit his people and/or shows a clear desire for cooperation and peaceful coexistence, a Ryder who values angaran lives and didn’t blow up the exaltation facility.

For now, there is a war that has him keeping even his own people at arm's length. Any bonds that run too deep run the risk of meeting a violent end or compromising the security of the Resistance. It destroyed him once, he won't let it destroy him again. Seeing his people die every day is hard enough without it.

After defeating the Archon, he will remain on his toes while setting the Resistance towards rebuilding what remain of their culture and their homes, eyes still fixed towards the skies for any signs of the continuation of the kett war. In that time, he may grow more accustomed to Milky Way aliens and their ways. This time will also be taken for himself to recover from the events his people have lived through for so long. every one of his people will need such a time of healing, and he knows however little time they have won’t be enough.

Breaking the habits he’s developed will not happen so easily either. He has put up walls as thick as the ice of Voeld. In a way, seeing Voeld change from the vault brings some form of hope in this regard. As far gone as it seemed, it’s warming up, becoming more hospitable, welcoming a future, a new beginning.

As with Voeld, it may take some extra assistance to start the process of mending all the damage that has been done, but it can be done. Everyone knows it can, and there will be people ready to offer him their friendship when he is ready.

If some of those people are aliens, so be it. He's not actually that opposed to becoming familiar with some of the Milky Way aliens.

There are some good people in the Initiative, even within the leadership. Kesh, Kandros, Ryder. He respects those three. He respects the Krogan, as a species, as well. He also respects Lexi and the other doctors.

Tl;dl: Evfra could befriend and fall for an alien given the right time and circumstances but he will not be dating any before Meridian has been secured due to a risk of weakening the Resistance and trust in his leadership.

#about evfra #fandom: mass effect #fandom: mass effect andromeda #too sleep to rp so have ramblings #apologies for not getting to my asks #it may take a while #hope this all makes sense it got very long #mass effect rp

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inevitably-johnlocked · 5 years

Note

Am so in the mood for some fics where John helps Sherlock through detox/cravings/danger nights, anytime throughout the series. Bonus points for Sherlock being scared John will be mad at him or turn away, but John being supportive and understanding!!

anonymous asked: Do you know of any Sherlock fics that include self harm? Thanks

Hi Guys!!

Since these are… SORT OF related, I’m putting them together! I don’t have many re: self-harm, so I thought I would add all the drug use, poisoning and the like fics together as well. They’re for both John and Sherlock, so I hope that’s alright! Hope these suffice!!

SELF-HARM

See also Alexx’s Lists:

Drugged Non-con sex

Drugs & Recovery

Mycroft deals with Sherlock’s drugs

Helping Sherlock With Drugs

Sherlock Drugs & Addiction

Angsty Drugs & Prostitution Fics

Teenlock & Drugs

The Signs of Loss by LitLocked (NR, 1,103 w. || Post-TSo3, Pining Sherlock, Self Reflection) – Sherlock’s internal monologue after he comes back from the wedding.

Clarity by socomessnow (thoughtfulwishing) (NR, 1,283 w. || Post-HLV, POV Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Tarmac Scene, Stream of Consciousness, URT, First Person Present Tense) - During-and-post-HLV piece tracking Sherlock’s thought process from his phone call with Mycroft to his return to the airfield.

The Two of Us Against the World by slashscribe (T, 1,617 w. || Post-TAB, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Drug Addiction, Anxious Sherlock, Angsty Fluff) – John is there to take care of Sherlock as he comes down from his overdose in The Abominable Bride. Set immediately after the tarmac, back in 221B.

Loudly Unspoken by Mount_Seleya (M, 1,871 w. || Post-TAB, Love Confessions, Vulnerable Sherlock, Frottage) – John confronts Sherlock about the words he left unsaid on the tarmac. Set immediately after TAB.

They’re Taking My Wisdom by whitchry9 (K+, 1,939 w. || Hurt/Comfort, Drugging, Dentists, Friendship, Anxious Sherlock, Humour) – Sherlock goes to the dentist. Of course, being Sherlock, things have to be complicated. Oh and drugs. They’re always fun.

Stay by sussexbound (M, 2,067 w. || Post TAB, Suicidal Ideation Mention, Implied / Referenced Drug Use, Kissing, Love Confessions, Frottage, Coming in Pants) – “Why? Why did you do it? Hmm…?” He takes a deep breath, waits, lets it out again. “Look at me.” There’s no denying him when he takes this tone. “Why did you kill him? Hmm…? For her? After…” A muscle twitches in the corner of John’s eye, and he clamps his jaw down tightly, swallows and sniffs a little before continuing. “For her? After everything she’s done?” “For you.” Before he can even stop himself. Just like that.

Coming Full Circle by KCS (K+, 2,358 w. || Alternate TGG, Friendship, Drama, Violence/Death References, Drugging/Poisoning, Kidnapping, BAMF John, Moriarty POV, Introspection) – Moriarty had John for almost six hours between his abduction and the showdown at the pool - more than enough time to implement a Plan B for his escape should Sherlock call his bluff with the fake bomb vest.

Thief by KendylGirl (M, 2,430 w. || Rev. Reich., Heavy Angst, Regret, Grief / Mourning, Pining Sherlock, Implied Drug Use, Self-Flagellation) – John has been gone for four months, and Sherlock is not dealing well with it. When he finds a personal item of John’s, the situation reaches a crisis. Part 3 of When to Let Go

The Battersea Bridge by pininglock (M, 2,585 w. || MCD, Angst, Grief, Unhappy Ending) – A life without John Watson isn’t a life worth living.

Unspoken by PipMer (T, 2,770 w. || Drugged John, Mutual Pining, John’s Missing Wednesday, Fluff & Angst, Canon Compliant, Gap Filler) – Sherlock wanted to test a hypothesis. About John. He wanted a question answered that he couldn’t just ask, at least not under normal conditions, because John would never tell him the truth about that.

After the Bombs by VampirePam (T, 3,337 w. || THoB AU, Drugs, John’s PTSD, Panic Attack, Nightmares, Caring Sherlock, Cuddles, Bed Sharing, Angst, Hurt/Comfort) – In which the drugs Sherlock used to dose John trigger a severe episode of PTSD. When terrors old and new cause John to fall apart, Sherlock must rectify his mistake and pick up the pieces.

Bolt Holes by PostcardsfromTheoryland (T, 4,177 w. || H/C, Angst, Drug Mentions, Pining Sherlock) – John asked, one evening, if Sherlock liked her. To which he grudgingly had to say yes, and John said he was glad. Because John was going to propose to her.

Experiment by Gwen’s Blue Box (K+, 4,222 w. || Non-Con Drugging, Hurt Comfort, Friendship) – Of course John has always known about his flatmate’s irregular sleeping habits, especially when they’re on a case. This time, however, the case is taking longer and longer, and soon John starts to worry. But there’s not much he can do, is there? Because drugging Sherlock isn’t an option. Not yet, maybe, but will it be soon? {{CW: John drugs Sherlock without his consent}}

Afghanistan in Baskerville by Amaya Ramiel (K+, 4,357 w. || THoB Fic, Hurt/Comfort, Drugged John, PTSD / Panic Attack, Hallucinations, Worried Sherlock, John’s Past, Friendship) – What if John hadn’t seen the hound when Sherlock trapped him in the lab? What if instead, his very real nightmares of the war had materialized all around him? Trapped and drugged, John can’t tell what’s real and what’s not. How will Sherlock react?

Very Good Indeed by StillWaters1 (T, 4,531 w. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Doctor John, John Whump) – John Watson was a doctor, trained to observe details; a fact Sherlock had never been more aware of than when a drugged John’s lifesaving instructions were based on an unlabeled syringe and an unconscious murder suspect’s body.

Not The Hands That Kill by You_Light_The_Sky (M, 6,201 w. || Winglock, Whump, Mentions of Drug Use) – Having wings does not make Sherlock Holmes a guardian angel, not in the way that John Watson is his.

The Dying Detective Remix by SailorChibi (K, 6,563 w. || Friendship & Family) – No one hates admitting illness or wounds more than Sherlock… perhaps that’s why no one believes him when he actually gets sick. Fortunately, when he can’t do it himself any longer, John and Lestrade are there to pick up the slack. Features Paternal!Lestrade and Gen John and Sherlock. One-shot.

The Hours Before Midnight by Lady Sam Mallory (T, 7,773 w. || TGG Fic, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Torture / John Whump, Kidnapping, Drugging, Alternating POV, Worried / Protective Sherlock) – Moriarty doesn’t play fair. John must deal with hours of torment from Moriarty before going to meet Sherlock at the Pool at the end of the Great Game and Sherlock must deal with the consequences of his boredom.

A Dangerous Mix by thebakerstreetgirl (K, 8,077 w. || Angst, Whump, Drugs, Hurt/Comfort, Overdosing) – During a case, John gets attacked and Sherlock and Lestrade find him with a mysterious drug running through the army doctor’s veins.

Never Been This Swept Away by estalita11 (T, 8,531 w. || Post-TAB, Mary is Not Nice, Drug Use, First Kiss, Love Confessions) – Set immediately after TAB, Sherlock visits his brother to definitely not apologize about earlier and ends up finally learning a few things that would have been nice knowing about months ago. Mycroft never wants to deal with lovestruck idiots ever again.

The Five Stages of Mourning, Plus One by SunnyRea (T, 10,557 || MCD, Pining / Grieving Sherlock, URT, Heavy Angst, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Drug Use, Graphic Death, Depression, Unhappy Ending) – Sherlock did not want this, did not want another stalemate with John in the middle, a gun in Jim’s hand. This cannot have happened without a sign. There has to be something he missed anything which said today is the day I kill for real.

Obsession by storylover18 (K+, 15,213 w. || HC, Case Fic, Friendship) - Dr. John Watson wakes up ill one morning but it is not the 24 hour flu he thinks it was. Soon he lands in hospital, quickly deteriorating and Sherlock must work to find out what has happened to his blogger before it is too late. Case!fic mixed with sick!fic / No slash.

Brief Conversations with the Woman by May_Shepard (E, 21,906 w. || Pining, Love Fairy Irene, Filler Fic, UST/URT, Drug Use, Clueless Sherlock, Relationship Advice, Angst w/ Happy Ending) – Sherlock has a puzzle to solve, and his name is John Watson.

A Love with No Name Series by aceofhearts61 (G to M, 49,955 w. across 20 stories || Asexual Sherlock / Straight John, Est. Rel, Queerplatonic Relationship, Romance, Cuddling, Fluff, Platonic Romance, Domestics) – In which Asexual!Sherlock and Straight!John are platonically in love life partners.

Albion and the Woodsman by Glenmore (NR [E], 54,437 w. || Post S3 || Parentlock, Pining Sherlock, Angst, Family, Drug Use, Depression, Sherlock POV) – Sherlock and John are devastated after Mary Morstan makes her final moves. Sherlock relapses at the crack house, John walks around the world … and a lot happens in between. Parentlock, in the good way.

The Vapor Variant by 88thParallel (CanadaHolm) (M, 72,684 w. || Post-THoB, John Whump, Protective Sherlock, Guilty Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, PTSD John, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Suspense, Virus, Sickfic, Big Brother Mycroft) – They stood face to face in the middle of a clearing. The dim light of the moon barely allowed Sherlock to see the glassy terror in John’s eyes and the sweat that glistened off his forehead. His nose was bleeding again, blood dripping in a slow stream from his right nostril. They were both gasping for air, John’s eyes locked on Sherlock’s. There was no recognition there, just wild animal fear. Time stood still for an eternal few seconds, and Sherlock took a shaky breath. “John—”Spell broken, John spun and bolted back into the woods. Still heaving for air, Sherlock took off after him. {{HAVEN’T READ THIS FIC YET, READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION}}

To Light Another’s Path by BeautifulFiction (E, 128,654 w. || Post-TGG, Sick Fic, Hurt/Comfort, Drug Addiction / Recreational Drug Use, First Time / Kiss, Case Fic) – Teaching John to observe seems to be a losing battle, but when Sherlock falls ill and submits himself to John’s care, will he realise that there is more to life than the science of deduction? Meanwhile, there is a murder to solve, and John must try and convince Sherlock not to sacrifice his own health for the sake of the case.

Ten Days by Engazed (E, 137,208 w. || Rape/Non-Con, Post-TRF, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Torture, Case Fic) – Sherlock Holmes has been dead for forty months, and John is at last beginning to live his life again. But just when he believes he might be happy, his world crashes back down around him. John is named a missing person. Someone is pointing DI Lestrade in the wrong direction. And as the days pass, his situation only grows more dire. It seems like the disappearance of his best friend is the only thing that can bring Sherlock Holmes back from the dead. Part 1 of The Fallen

Midnight Blue Serenity by BeautifulFiction (E, 151,907 w. || Friends to Lovers, Gay Bar / For a Case, Drugs, Pining, Case Fic, UST) – When Sherlock infiltrates a club in order to track down a serial killer, his altered appearance is enough to make John question his assumption that Sherlock is beyond his reach. However, is he the only one who appreciates his flatmate’s charms, or is Sherlock at risk of becoming the next victim? {{centres around drug use, but not necessarily John or Sherlock’s}}

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #drugs cw #self harm cw #drug use #angst fics #danger nights #my fic recs #madeofawesome12

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magic-owl · 5 years

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i wish these had numbers to not take up room but alas: what is your absolute favorite ship? what’s a ship you like that most people don’t? what is the most underrated ship, in your opinion? (choose any of your fave pairings for the following bc I'm curious about all your faves) rate [pairing] from 1-10 and explain why. what’s your favorite headcanon of [pairing]? what’s your favorite canon moment of [pairing]? favorite AU ideas for [pairing]? what song(s) remind you of [pairing]?

Thank you my dear! You are my Star Wars Friend so I’ll keep it SW focused (if you wanted to ask this to solely find out what else I liked BESIDES SW sorry lol just let me know and I can redo it). This got long because turns out I have a lot to say about my ships so answers under the cut!!! xD

Absolute favorite ship: This one’s kinda hard but I’m gonna have to go with Obi Wan/Anakin! I also like them a lot as a trio with Padmé, but overall I gotta say these two are just my faves? Why? Because they are such a M E S S and gosh I just love them so much. Ppl say they don’t like each other very much but come on, have you watched the TCW, have you watched RotS, they’re the greatest team there ever was, they’re constantly fretting and worrying about each other, they’re always teasing (the constant banter omg boys pls) at each other and hyping the other up and believing in each other and Ahsoka literally calls them her adoptive guardians in the Ahsoka novel, that’s how much of a family they were and ugh they’re just so married. And they’re such a TRAGEDY and it breaks my heart and it’s delicious to watch because in the final fight it’s just heartbreaking betrayal because through it all they love each other so much and that’s WHY they’re so furious with each other because to them it feels like the ultimate betrayal. Even after (when after everything, Obi Wan still loved Anakin too much to kill him himself) they’re constantly on the other’s mind, and ugh the pain hurts but in such a good way, and how in the end Anakin did the right thing and Obi Wan was RIGHT THERE to help guide him back to the light in spirit and now they can rest happily together for eternity (with some spare stressing about, ya know, Kylo Ren and the impending return of Sidious, but never mind all that). and on top of that, it’s my fave because I also absolutely love their relationship platonically as well, as much as I LIKE to see them together, it’s not necessary for me because they have such an enjoyable dynamic. *coughs* Sorry, so yea, they’re my disaster faves! 😅

A ship I like that most people don’t: See above lol. I get aspects of the Obikin ship can be problematic in the whole power dynamic and age difference thing, but I’ve only ever shipped it after Anakin was knighted as an adult when there’s literally not a problem with it (it was weird for me because I watched the prequels totally out of order. I actually saw the TCW cartoon FIRST and then I saw RotS and then I didn’t watch the first two for a while after that because I was a fool and listened to prequel bashers who said the first two weren’t good, so when I started shipping them as adults that was all I saw them as). To be honest, for the most part the PT fandom is done with the drama since ya know, like a good half of the SW general fandom still hates us, so no one’s really vocal about not liking it and our shipping community is mostly left to ourselves, but every once in a while I’ll come across a joke post/fanart of the two and OP will be all snarky in the notes like “tag as a ship and I’ll come after you with my spiked bat” (someone’s exact words btw) and it’s like ok jeez, do not interact then, was minding my own business dude...

My most underrated ship: Hmmmm....... Gonna have to go between Luke/Ezra and Satine/Padmé. Skybridger I understand since they’ve literally never met in canon, but come ON, they’d get along like a house on fire and argh they should have met, it would be great. I honestly don’t get why Pads and Satine aren’t more of a thing (THEY DON’T EVEN HAVE AN OFFICIAL SHIPNAME ;_; ) cuz c’mon they’re the subtler explosive yin to Obi and Ani’s wildfire yang. They get along great and work together really well, and they both seem to have a type. I am doing them a little better in my new OT4 fic, and I hope ppl like it!!! Ya know what, I’m also gonna add Kaeden (cute girl from the Ahsoka novel!) and Ahsoka because even if a lot of ppl actually ship them, they hardly have any content and neED MORE DANGIT THEY WERE SO CUTE!!!!!!!

Gonna go with Obikin for all the following ones cuz I haven’t had the chance to gush about my boys in a while and you’ve opened Pandora’s box

Rate them from 1-10: 10, plus a hundred more points because I love them, then subtract that hundred again cuz Anakin is an gotdang idiot who ruined it and now they both make me cry. My scoring reasons are that they make me feel all the emotions and I love them Ever So Much and argh.

Fave headcanon: Oh boy, I’ve got a couple actually!

Whenever they’re talking/arguing over the phone, they’re always subconsciously mirroring each other’s actions even when they can’t see what the other is doing. It’s kinda creepy because you’ll hear yelling and it’ll look like one of them’s talking to an invisible person in front of them when it’s actually each other.

There has been multiple instances of them both getting injured in battle because they were distracted watching the other be a total badass (not that either will admit it)

Neither of them are morning people. AT ALL. Obi Wan actually has self-discipline and is able to get up with an alarm and crankily drag them both up, but both are almost impossible to deal with until they’ve had caffeine in them, and it’s been established that unless you want to risk murder, neither of them talks in the morning until caffeine has been provided.

There has been many, many cases of accidentally taking the other’s robe and not realizing it but thinking to themselves that said robe feels more comforting than usual today.

A mutually drunken arm wrestling match absolutely turned into a mutually drunken makeout once. Neither can remember it, and they wonder why some of the clones have been acting funny all week.

Half of the Temple thinks they’re already dating.

Ok I’ll stop it here

Fave Canon Moment: Ughhh, this is HARD. I really like the “any closer and you’d be kissing it” line in TCW, basically any moment in TCW when one of them refers to Ahsoka as “OUR padawan”, the extra long stares and unnecessary touches they give each other in TCW, the elevator scene in RotS movie (THE NOVEL MAKES IT A MILLION TIMES BETTER), also in RotS the way Anakin is half-ready to straight up fight Palpatine when he suggests leaving Obi Wan behind to die, the RotS “No loose wire jokes” bit, the RotS “Roger. Roger.” bit (OKAY JUST THE WHOLE FIRST HALF OF THIS RIDICULOUS MOVIE), the way Vader built his big stupid castle where they had their breakup, the way he’s constantly mentioning Obi Wan when the convo wasn’t even about him, seeing them together again at the end of RotJ (whoops you asked for one, you get MANY SCENES)

Fave AU ideas: Again, there’s a couple!

Superpower AU: Can’t decide whether I’d put this in canon or modern. Most powers in this AU are stolen from inspired by X-Men, DC, and other popular media, so I’m torn between Anakin having Jean Grey/Dark Phoenix style powers while Obi Wan had a variation on Rogue’s with additional energy manipulation. OR it would be a thing where Anakin could commune with the dead a la Klaus from Umbrella Academy while Obes had sort of Avatar-style wind/flight powers. (Both are relevant for different plots).

Sith AU: I know these are far from unpopular in the SW fandom, but the way I’d do it would be to try and write two stories at once, update one every other week so one update a week total. The stories would what would happen if either of them became the Sith Apprentice after the events of Episode 1, and how their dynamic would be during Ep 2 and The Clone Wars with one of them on the other side. It’s funny because the way I’ve plotted it, the Sith!Ani fic would have very big Good Omens vibes, while the Sith!Obi one would have very strong Under the Red Hood vibes, so two VERY different dynamics going on xD

WWII Spies: This is one I 100% plan to write someday, even tho it is a very long time from now. It’s basically following Anakin as an American naval pilot who got injured in a crash and discharged. He still wants to serve and eventually his talent gets him into the intelligence end of the war and sent to Europe where he meets Ben, who’s been working with British intelligence since it broke out, and sparks fly. I’m kind of cheating here cuz as of now this is an Obianidala story, not just Obikin, but it’s one I’m very excited for

Phantom of the Opera AU: This idea I had when I realized that Anakin as Vader is kinda a Lot like the Phantom, but he’s also a Lot like Christine too. So it turned into Anakin as a talented ballet dancer getting preyed on by Palpatine!Phantom (there is NO romance there, Palpy is a total creep and will be treated as such) with Obi Wan as a combination of Raoul and Madame Gery and I have a bunch of ideas and idk if it’s gonna be an actual thing, but I want it to.

Shapeshifter AU: Canon, not very complicated but they can all shift into animals. Obi Wan is a kind of cougar panther cat with a fluffy ginger tail, and Anakin is a big grumpy black Krayt Dragon with a stump for a front leg.

Not A Jedi!AU: One in canon in which set like the Sith!AU, two different stories exploring how their dynamic would be if one of them wasn’t found by the Order. As of now, I’ve got Anakin as the warrior pirate prince of Tatooine, after having grown up and staged a slave rebellion, then promptly put his mother on the throne, and Obi Wan’s there to negotiate something during TCW and things happen. For the Obi Wan one, he’s a political journalist and war correspondent who keeps on running into Anakin’s assignments and popping up where he’s stationed and Anakin has to keep this idiot from getting himself killed/stop asking me annoying questions that criticize the Jedi and the government.

Dark!AU: A kind of morbid canon divergent fic where Padmé dies early and unexpectedly (Palps didn’t plan it). Anakin goes off the rails and Obi Wan agrees to go with him on a murder vengeance roadtrip to try and keep him from Falling or the Sith from getting to him. He kinda fails and they both Fall in a way and it ends with them hunting down Sidious’ players one by one. I’m not entirely sure I want to continue with this tho because it plays strongly on the Fridged Woman trope, which I can’t stand. I’d have to figure out how to give Padmé some sort of active role after her death...

Songs to describe them: There’s a couple (I could have very well gone cranky but I decided to do (mostly) serious))(also my music taste kinda stinks)

Icarus— Bastille

Anna Sun— WALK THE MOON

Animal I Have Become— Acoustic cover by Vitamin String Quartet (original by Three Days Grace) (seriously y’all listen it’s sooooo gooooood)

Warriors— Imagine Dragons

My Demons— STARSET

Ignorance— Paramore

Set Fire to the Rain— Adele

Stubborn Love— The Lumineers

How to Save A Life— The Fray (yes i am aware it is stereotypical angst song leave me Alone it FITS)

Viva la Vida— Coldplay (tbh this fits like the entire PT but I liked it)

Raised by Wolves— U2 (another more PT-centric, but this one works dangit)

Bonus Broadway Song! : Confrontation from Les Miserables (now that ya think of it, that would be a pretty good AU too.....)

Bonus Broadway Song! : The Tango Maureen from Rent (I always imagined this one as Obi Wan and Padmé about Anakin, but it would be about something other than cheating cuz canon has established Anakin views cheating as a worse crime than murder, so yea)

Bonus Broadway Song! : Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better (aight this one’s mostly a joke but come ON don’t tell me that’s not completely them xD)

#owl gets an ask #long post #wolf-skins

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addictedforbooksquad · 5 years

Photo

P I C K (S) O F T H E M O N T H: M A Y

The Lady’s Guide to Celestial Mechanics by Olivia Waite

Passion on Park Avenue by Lauren Layne

Mistborn: The Alloy Era Series by Brandon Sanderson

Mistborn: Secret History by Brandon Sanderson

Marriage for One by Ella Maise

A Game of Thrones by George R.R. Martin

The Lady’s Guide to Celestial Mechanics by Olivia Waite

Genres: Historical Romance, LGBT, F/F romance

Synopsis:

As Lucy Muchelney watches her ex-lover’s sham of a wedding, she wishes herself anywhere else. It isn’t until she finds a letter from the Countess of Moth, looking for someone to translate a groundbreaking French astronomy text, that she knows where to go. Showing up at the Countess’ London home, she hoped to find a challenge, not a woman who takes her breath away. Catherine St Day looks forward to a quiet widowhood once her late husband’s scientific legacy is fulfilled. She expected to hand off the translation and wash her hands of the project—instead, she is intrigued by the young woman who turns up at her door, begging to be allowed to do the work, and she agrees to let Lucy stay. But as Catherine finds herself longing for Lucy, everything she believes about herself and her life is tested. While Lucy spends her days interpreting the complicated French text, she spends her nights falling in love with the alluring Catherine. But sabotage and old wounds threaten to sever the threads that bind them. Can Lucy and Catherine find the strength to stay together or are they doomed to be star-crossed lovers?

Why we love it:

a beautiful love story between two women

female friendships and women supporting women

characters who find out about Lucy and Catherine are not homophobic but rather supportive

focus on both romance AND personal journeys of the characters

sexism and misogyny are challenged, by both female and male characters (some of them at least)

beautiful, poetic passages

Trigger warnings: mentions of emotional abuse, sexism, misogyny

≡≡≡≡≡ ≡≡≡≡≡ ≡≡≡≡≡ ≡≡≡≡≡ ≡≡≡≡≡ ≡≡≡≡≡ ≡≡≡≡≡ ≡≡≡≡≡ ≡≡≡≡≡ ≡≡≡≡≡ ≡≡≡≡≡ ≡≡≡≡≡ ≡≡≡≡≡

Passion on Park Avenue by Lauren Layne

Genres: Romance, Contemporary, New Adult

Synopsis:

For as long as she can remember, Bronx-born Naomi Powell has had one goal: to prove her worth among the Upper East Side elite—the same people for which her mom worked as a housekeeper. Now, as the strongminded, sassy CEO of one of the biggest jewelry empires in the country, Naomi finally has exactly what she wants—but it’s going to take more than just the right address to make Manhattan’s upper class stop treating her like an outsider. The worst offender is her new neighbor, Oliver Cunningham—the grown son of the very family Naomi’s mother used to work for. Oliver used to torment Naomi when they were children, and as a ridiculously attractive adult, he’s tormenting her in entirely different ways. Now they find themselves engaged in a battle-of-wills that will either consume or destroy them… Filled with charm and heart and plenty of sex and snark, this entertaining series will hook you from the very first page.

Why we love it:

ambitious millionaire female character whose story is basically about rags to riches

soft male character

female friendships and dynamics are amazing

cute love story

Lauren Layne’s style has improved so much and it’s time to start reading her books

Trigger warnings: n/a

Mistborn: The Alloy Era series by Brandon Sanderson

Genres: Fantasy, High Fantasy, Adult

Synopsis:

Three hundred years after the events of the Mistborn trilogy, Scadrial is now on the verge of modernity, with railroads to supplement the canals, electric lighting in the streets and the homes of the wealthy, and the first steel-framed skyscrapers racing for the clouds. Kelsier, Vin, Elend, Sazed, Spook, and the rest are now part of history—or religion. Yet even as science and technology are reaching new heights, the old magics of Allomancy and Feruchemy continue to play a role in this reborn world. Out in the frontier lands known as the Roughs, they are crucial tools for the brave men and women attempting to establish order and justice. One such is Waxillium Ladrian, a rare Twinborn who can Push on metals with his Allomancy and use Feruchemy to become lighter or heavier at will. After twenty years in the Roughs, Wax has been forced by family tragedy to return to the metropolis of Elendel. Now he must reluctantly put away his guns and assume the duties and dignity incumbent upon the head of a noble house. Or so he thinks, until he learns the hard way that the mansions and elegant tree-lined streets of the city can be even more dangerous than the dusty plains of the Roughs.

Why we love it:

amazing writing

plots and twists all around

we see familiar faces from the first trilogy *wink wink*

SO. MUCH. FUN.

western-sherlock-fantasy

most adorable character ever, that's on the spectrum

Trigger warnings: violence

Mistborn: Secret History by Brandon Sanderson

Genres: Fantasy, High Fantasy, Adult

Synopsis:

Mistborn: Secret History is a companion story to the original Mistborn trilogy. As such, it contains HUGE SPOILERS for the books Mistborn (The Final Empire), The Well of Ascension, and The Hero of Ages. It also contains very minor spoilers for the book The Bands of Mourning. Mistborn: Secret History builds upon the characterization, events, and worldbuilding of the original trilogy. Reading it without that background will be a confusing process at best. In short, this isn’t the place to start your journey into Mistborn. (Though if you have read the trilogy—but it has been a while—you should be just fine, so long as you remember the characters and the general plot of the books.) Saying anything more here risks revealing too much. Even knowledge of this story’s existence is, in a way, a spoiler. There’s always another secret.

Why we love it:

view on Mistborn Era 1 events from different perspective

reunions that will make you cry

we get SOME answers as well from Mistborn Era 1 and 2

Trigger warnings: violence

Marriage for One by Ella Maise

Genres: Romance, Contemporary, New Adult

Synopsis:

Jack and I, we did everything backward. The day he lured me into his office-which was also the first day we met-he proposed. You'd think a guy who looked like him-a bit cold maybe, but still striking and very unattainable-would only ask the love of his life to marry him, right? You'd think he must be madly in love. Nope. It was me he asked. A complete stranger who had never even heard of him. A stranger who had been dumped by her fiancé only weeks before. You'd think I'd laugh in his face, call him insane-and a few other names-then walk away as quickly as possible. Well…I did all those things except the walking away part. It took him only minutes to talk me into a business deal…erm, I mean marriage, and only days for us to officially tie the knot. Happiest day of my life. Magical. Pop the champagne… Not. It was the worst day. Jack Hawthorne was nothing like what I'd imagined for myself. I blamed him for my lapse in judgment. I blamed his eyes, the ocean blue eyes that looked straight into mine unapologetically, and that frown on his face I had no idea I would become so fascinated with in time. It wasn't long after he said I was the biggest mistake of his life that things started to change. No, he still didn't talk much, but anyone can string a few words together. His actions spoke the loudest to me. And day after day my heart started to get a mind of its own. One second he was no one. The next he became everything. One second he was unattainable. The next he seemed to be completely mine. One second I thought we were in love. The next it was still nothing but a lie. After all, I was Rose and he was Jack. We were doomed from the very beginning with those names. Did you expect anything else?

Why we love it:

soft and bubbly female character

broody male character

fake marriage trope

slowburn + cutest romance with a lil’ bit of angst

development is A+++

Trigger warnings: n/a

A Game of Thrones by George R.R. Martin

Genres: Fantasy, High Fantasy, Adult

Synopsis:

Long ago, in a time forgotten, a preternatural event threw the seasons out of balance. In a land where summers can last decades and winters a lifetime, trouble is brewing. The cold is returning, and in the frozen wastes to the north of Winterfell, sinister and supernatural forces are massing beyond the kingdom’s protective Wall. At the center of the conflict lie the Starks of Winterfell, a family as harsh and unyielding as the land they were born to. Sweeping from a land of brutal cold to a distant summertime kingdom of epicurean plenty, here is a tale of lords and ladies, soldiers and sorcerers, assassins and bastards, who come together in a time of grim omens. Here an enigmatic band of warriors bear swords of no human metal; a tribe of fierce wildlings carry men off into madness; a cruel young dragon prince barters his sister to win back his throne; and a determined woman undertakes the most treacherous of journeys. Amid plots and counterplots, tragedy and betrayal, victory and terror, the fate of the Starks, their allies, and their enemies hangs perilously in the balance, as each endeavors to win that deadliest of conflicts: the game of thrones.

Why we love it:

high fantasy political drama

well-written dialogue

if you’re already a fan of the TV show, the book gives you an even more detailed account of events with characters POVs while these key moments play out

amazing world building and backstory with so much thought and detail

GRRM has successfully achieved a whole new universe

full of backstabbing, bloody battles and political intrigue

multiple POVs

Trigger warnings: rape, sexual abuse of a minor, graphic violence, sexual violence, incest, misogyny

#book recs #dailylit #nadaily #bookworm #bibliophile #lgbtqa literature #books #the lady's guide to celestial mechanics #central park pact series #asoiaf #mistborn #marriage for one #pick of the month

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wheatbeats · 5 years

Text

2018 is over and I feel compelled to write a retrospective of sorts, but since I don’t feel like talking about myself I’m gonna talk about Every Anime (Series) I Watched in 2018. Each one comes with a numerical rating out of 10 and a short blurb of what I thought about it.

Recovery of an MMO Junkie - 9/10 - Incredibly sweet and heartfelt, with mature adult characters who act as such. Drama and comedy both are mined from real issues rather than petty miscommunication, and is all the more compelling for it.

Land of the Lustrous - 10/10 - A delightfully unique setting with an enrapturing story and fantastically constructed characters. The moments of levity and sweetness only serve to make the deeply engrained sadness and loneliness more poignant. The CGI animation is shockingly gorgeous, and a triumph of the medium.

Kino’s Journey: The Beautiful World (2018) - 5/10 - Certainly entertaining in spots, but ultimately rings rather hollow. Not really an improvement on the original in any respect.

Princess Principal - 8/10 - An absolutely gorgeous setting brimming with atmosphere and style, and a fun ensemble cast. The series-wide arc is a little hard to follow or understand, but each individual episodic plot is really enjoyable and engaging.

The Vision of Escaflowne - 8/10 - A well-built fantasy that’s occasionally ridiculous but never not fun. The new dub is really slick and helps the series go down nice and smooth.

A Place Further Than the Universe - 10/10 - Extraordinarily sweet, earnest and heartfelt. Deftly written, smartly directed, and masterfully executed. I cried really hard, a lot.

Tsuredure Children - 8/10 - Cute, ridiculous, and eminently relatable. If you’ve ever had a crush, you’re bound to identify with at least one character in this series.

From the New World - 5/10 - Had a glimmer of potential, but mostly ended up fake deep, poorly paced, and fucking ugly to look at. The more I thought about this series the less I realized I enjoyed it.

The Ancient Magus’ Bride - 5/10 - An extraordinarily promising start that’s disappointingly squandered by wildly inconsistent tone, static plots, nonsensical character arcs, excessive cliffhangers, and hollow stakes.

Princess Tutu - 10/10 - An expertly built deconstruction of fairy tales as well as a sweeping, gorgeous love note to ballet, classical music, and romantic storybook heroism. Wonderfully intricate plotting and stunning character work, a true gem.

Kaiba - 8/10 - Brilliantly unique and emotionally engrossing, if not a bit obscure and hard to follow at times. You never have, and probably never will again, see an anime quite like this.

Girls’ Last Tour - 7/10 - Deeply atmospheric and sometimes quite poignant, but also dreadfully, awfully, agonizingly slow.

Haven’t You Heard? I’m Sakamoto - 9/10 - A smooth and even mix between laughable absurdity and actual real emotional stakes. Somehow, I feel like I learned something about myself.

Megalobox - 8/10 - Briskly paced and action-packed, but by far the biggest draw is a classic 90s aesthetic reminiscent of pre-digital legends like Cowboy Bebop. This series lives and breathes style.

Legend of the Galactic Heroes: Die Neue These - 6/10 - Would have the potential to be interesting if it wasn’t so hollow and boring. I wanted to get more engaged in the politics of this complicated war, but the plot is held at arms length and the characters are more like walking philosophy textbooks than actual people. That said, the ship designs are pretty cool.

Hinamatsuri - 10/10 - Sweet, pure-hearted, and gut-bustingly funny. Any moment I wasn’t laughing until my sides hurt, I was near to tearing up from actually caring about these characters so much. Each episode was a joy and I loved every second of it.

Golden Kamuy (S1) - 7/10 - Absurd, charming, and goofy, with a surprising amount of gore. Seems to care more about food than plot, but I’m kind of into it.

Revolutionary Girl Utena - 9/10 - Brilliantly dense, symbolic, and metaphorical. Sometimes hard to understand, sometimes hard to watch, but always excellent.

Dragon Pilot: Hisone & Masotan - 7/10 - Gorgeously animated and undeniably charming, but still a little awkward, garbled, and uncomfortable at times. The most earnest vore anime I’ve ever watched.

Steins;Gate 0 - 4/10 - A total, utter, crushing disappointment. Follows up a spectacular prequel with a nonsensical, contrived plot, inaccurate characters, and piss-poor visuals. This series is only carried by its relationship to the original. I will never trust again.

Princess Jellyfish - 7/10 - Charming, varied characters populating an unfulfilling narrative.

The Big O - 6/10 - Plenty of goofy, stylish fun, but slowly devolves into an inscrutable, incomprehensible mess. R. Dorothy Wayneright is the best part of this series by far. Roger Smith is a louse.

Aggretsuko - 7/10 - Fun and relatable, if a bit simple.

TOP 3

3. Hinamatsuri - This series came totally out of left field for me. I usually don’t emotionally respond to comedies very well but this one somehow hit all the right buttons. None of the humor was mean-spirited or put anyone down, the situations were absurd but didn’t cripple me with secondhand embarrassment, and on top of it all I really started to care about the cast. I wish I could get surprised like this more often.

2. Land of the Lustrous - As you can tell if you’ve been following me at all recently, this series has been absolutely consuming me from the moment I watched it. The plot is gripping and excellently paced, and I don’t know if I’ve ever been invested in another main character quite as much as Phos. It’s plenty easy to get wrapped up in thinking about the plot and the character arcs and the meta, but then when I go back and watch the series again I’m shocked by how good it is on a technical level, too. The CG animation is beyond gorgeous and the technical grace of each scene, the pacing, the colors, the music, the character animation, the voice acting, are all stellar. If this anime had more of an ending it would absolutely be my number 1 pick, but for now I just have to read the manga (AS SHOULD YOU, YOU COWARDS. IT’S EVERY BIT AS GOOD AS THE ANIME).

1. Princess Tutu - I, like many people, I think, reacted with derision at the title of this series, but by the time I was done I was completely blown away, and every time I thought about it more I was even more shocked. Every inch of this series shows some of the smartest construction I’ve ever seen in fiction, every layer is filled with stylistic flourish, brilliant writing, and metatextual commentary. You can dig as deep as you want and Princess Tutu will always have something to offer you. It’s been less than a year, I’ve already watched it twice, and I’m still discovering new things about it. A story this brilliant would be a once in a lifetime experience on its own, but Tutu is fulfilling on the surface level, too. Even if you’re not diving deep into what the series means you can still be just as enraptured by the characters. Fakir probably has the best redemption arc this side of Prince Zuko, and I could sing the praises of every other major cast member. And the music, the music! I was doomed from the start the moment I heard both The Nutcracker and Pictures at an Exhibition in the score. Princess Tutu takes some of the greatest masterpieces of western art music and builds off them, creating a sense of atmosphere as deep and vast and dramatic as the finest opera or ballet could ever be. Princess Tutu is one of the greatest works of fiction I’ve ever consumed, and absolutely the best I’ve watched this year.

BOTTOM THREE

3. From the New World - Immediately after I stopped watching this series I actually sort of thought I’d liked it, and I think the reason for this is because From the New World tries its very best to engage in ideas a bit deeper and more ambiguous than a lot of other anime do. But the more I thought about it, the more I disliked this series. Everything about the plot was confusing and off-putting, I didn’t find the characters particularly charming, and perhaps most of all, this series is butt-ugly. It might have a high score of MAL. but my advice is to give this series a hard pass.

2. The Ancient Magus’ Bride - I wanted to like this series so fucking bad. I fell in love with the prequel OVA and waited anxiously for each new installment to come out. I even bought tickets to my local Artsy Fartsy Theater to see the first three episodes when the screened there. And I liked them! Finally, an anime engaged in Celtic and English mythology, some of my favorites, and a protagonist with a truly gripping internal struggle. I was certain from the very first moment that this series would sit in my Top 10 list, and that Chise would be one of my favorite protagonists ever. And then it... didn’t happen. As the episodes unfolded I was treated to a series that had no idea how to establish or maintain stakes, how to relate its two main characters to each other, or how to use the wealth of mythology it was referencing and drawing from. How am I supposed to care when Chise gets stabbed in the chest every 2 episodes and then just kind of shrugs it off for the sake of drama? How am I supposed to be interested in the mythology when it’s all just watered-down fantasy archetypes with giant boobs? Don’t even get me started on the main villain. I feel very betrayed by this series and honestly I’m still bitter.

1. Steins;Gate 0 - This series is as much a lesson in betrayal as Ancient Magus’ Bride, but I think this one stings worse because it’s preceded by Steins;Gate, and anime I love dearly. I sincerely believe that the original Steins;Gate is one of the best anime ever produced, and this sequel struggles to live up to even a single aspect of it. As it began I was hopeful- I liked the darker tone, I liked the idea of a story within a failed timeline. But as I kept watching, I realized something awful: I was bored. All of the charm and intrigue was gone. The characters were all acting different, all looked different (why are all the girls wearing skintight winter coats? Why have their chests all inflated three sizes??), and there was no impetus for the plot. Steins;Gate was driven by simple goals; in the first half, it was to build a time-leap machine. In the second half, it was to save Mayuri. In Steins;Gate 0 the impetus is to... watch Okabe be sad. Hope he gets less sad. There’s nothing to keep the plot moving, and this listlessness was so overwhelming that the random bits of unforeshadowed action and unprecedented (for this franchise) violence felt cheap and confusing after the doldrums we just sat through. By the time the plot finally, finally, picks up towards the final quarter of the series, the damage is done. I don’t care anymore, I can’t figure out what’s going on, and I’m just so done with a franchise I used to love. One day I’ll go back and rewatch the original Steins;Gate and remind myself why I cared so much, but for now I’m nursing wounds. If you say the name “Kagari” in my presence, I’ll probably blitz the fuck out.

Here’s to a good 2019!

#princess tutu #land of the lustrous #hinamatsuri #the ancient magus' bride #steins;gate 0

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elan-morin-tedronai · 5 years

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Dear Chocolate Box Author~

Idk what people usually write here, I’m more used to writing Yuletide letters but I assume it’s basically the same format so. here we go.

AO3 name: Tedronai

General likes & dislikes:

Likes: epic friendships, angst, hurt/comfort (physical or emotional works), complicated dynamics between unlikely allies, politics & court intrigue, complicated relationships (romantic & otherwise), enemies to reluctant allies to friends to lovers or basically any variation thereof, themes of loyalty and/or betrayal, porn with feelings (or porn with character exploration), tragedy

Dislikes: more extreme fetishes (scat, watersports, what have you), pure unadulterated fluff, domestic fluff, crack humour, A/B/O dynamics, most mundane AUs for fantasy/sci-fi fandoms (high school, coffee shop, etc), redemption = death trope, pregnancy or kid fic

I have no triggers that should be relevant to the prompts, nor any significant squicks not covered by the “extreme fetishes” umbrella.

Note: Because I’m a writer myself, my prompts are probably going to be fic-oriented no matter what I do, but if you got matched for art, I’ll be absolutely delighted with anything you come up with for the ship in question! As explicit (or not) as you feel like.

Fandom #1: Wheel of Time Requested ship(s): Taim/Moridin, Ishamael/Demandred, Ishamael/Asmodean

Taim/Moridin -- I’d love anything, really. Taim would have had to work with Moridin while he was converting Dreadlords in the Black Tower, maybe Moridin himself was the one to take him to Shayol Ghul to be sworn in as Chosen. Because the canonical tag is “Moridin | Ishamael”, I’m also completely fine with if you prefer to go with the Ishamael part of it; I headcanon that Ishamael was the one to manipulate Taim into declaring himself the Dragon Reborn, so you could probably have some fun with that. Or anything else you come up with!

Ishamael/Demandred -- As above, I’ll take any variation of Elan/Barid to Ishamael/Demandred to Moridin/Demandred; I ship them at basically any stage of their timeline so you can't go wrong there. I’m especially interested in things set in the early years of War of Power; Barid Bel didn’t turn until a few years into the war, but he had a history with Elan Morin, and their reunion must have been interesting. Or something in the Third Age, once Ishamael has been resurrected as Moridin; another interesting reunion.

Ishamael/Asmodean -- Look. I just. If you offered this, you must be at least intrigued by the idea so I’ll just let you run with it? I’ve written this ship one, sort of, in a fic I’m still ridiculously proud of though it’s several years old, but there are so many potential ways this could happen. Asmodean’s particular brand of apathy and Ishamael’s destructive tendencies crashing together would make such a glorious train wreck, it’s just. yeah.

Fandom #2: Malazan Book of the Fallen Requested ship(s): Silchas Ruin/Scabandari, Silchas Ruin & Anomander Rake, Anomander Rake/Caladan Brood

Silchas/Scabandari -- So I could be wrong but if we matched for Malazan, you’re probably one of the two other Malazan fic writers out there so I’m just saying, feel free to go with Kharkanas era stuff if you like. If you’re somehow not Sam or Misura and you haven’t read the Kharkanas trilogy, I apologise and shall refrain from spoiling anything, I hope. Either way, we know Silchas and Scabandari were allies, and then they were not, which is basically a dynamic so far up my alley it’s physically painful.

Silchas & Anomander -- Again Kharkanas era stuff more than welcome, I mean I probably don’t have to say this but there you go. If Kharkanas era isn’t applicable, they don’t really get a chance to interact within the main series timeline but I’ll take anything. AU where they meet before Rake does the thing? Wonderful. Your take on their last meeting before Silchas got Azath’d? Amazing. Or if you feel like it, you could go with a post-canon fic in reclaimed Kharkanas and write about Silchas’ feelings about Anomander’s death, and Anomander’s son showing up to pick up the Tiste Andii where his father left them.

Brood/Rake -- Look. This is a new-ish ship for me though I’ve loved their friendship forever. And let’s say this is one where you can’t go wrong with getting a little more explicit. And by ‘a little more’ I mean as much as you like. Though obviously that’s not a requirement.

Fandom #3: Machineries of Empire Requested ship(s): Mikodez & Zehun, Mikodez & Kujen, Mikodez & Jedao Two, Mikodez/Jedao Two

Mikodez & Zehun -- I love Shuos Zehun so much you guys, and I just. would very much like to see somebody take care of Mikodez and Zehun is basically the only person in the Hexarchate who can do that.

Mikodez & Kujen -- Theirs is such a fascinating dynamic! Mikodez is self-proclaimed ‘the only person who actually likes’ Kujen. We all know just how likeable Kujen is – I mean I love him to pieces, but let’s be real here – so I always found this especially interesting. Now what I’m wondering is, did Kujen on some level appreciate that? Kujen didn’t really care about people; he didn’t have the ability to feel that, he removed that ability from himself, but maybe... Anyway, anything you come up with will be great, of course!

Mikodez & Jedao2.0 -- I love the idea of Jedao2.0 getting to grow into the wonderful person Jedao could have been, while maintaining the core qualities that made the first Jedao the Jedao we know and love. And Mikodez will obviously play an important role in his life, as the Shuos Hexarch obviously but also a mentor of sorts, possibly even confidante... and, hopefully, eventually a friend. And I’d kind of want to see that also go the other way; I’d love to see Jedao, as he grows to know him, see through Mikodez’s Shuos Hexarch “of course I don’t have a conscience or care about things” persona.

(Or if you’re feeling really ambitious, you could combine the last two, because both Mikodez and Jedao2.0 had a complicated relationship with Kujen, though Jedao’s was way more traumatic, but. that’s something they both need to deal with.)

#chocolate box fic exchange #dear author #wheel of time #malazan book of the fallen #machineries of empire

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sigurdjarlson · 6 years

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What was the hardest quest for Guin in fallout? (Either emotional or physically or companion-wise) ((also like, excluding Nuclear Option because killing Shaun is of course going to be a bit emotional)) (((also sorry but what is guin’s full name? I know it’s a nickname but my mobile app doesn’t let me see tags so I can’t see it sorry))) ((((sidenote but I love you))))

Her full name? Guinevere. She doesn’t have a last name yet despite me creating her a fairly long time ago. I just could never settle on one. I was looking at some the other day but none really caught my eye yet.

Since we’re excluding Nuclear option (which was by far the most emotionally devastating for her)

Blind Betrayal. It’s just a big mess of emotions for all three of them. She loves them both. She doesn’t want to choose and she doesn’t want to hurt anyone but things just got a whole lot more complicated.

Like first off, she feels so fucking bad for Danse since he’s going through absolute hell. She’d shoulder it all for him if she could but..she can’t.

She never considered killing Danse. Not even for a second. She knows him and she knows he’s no traitor despite Maxson firmly believing he is. (to be fair it does look extremely bad for Danse especially since he ran)

(side note: I adamantly believe that’s why Maxson is so extraordinarily emotional during BB. Underneath all that rage is a lot of HURT. Because in his eyes Danse has been betraying them the whole time and all of it? Was a lie. Not a defense of course since he’s being a right prick but..it’s worth considering I think.)

And she’s so grateful Maxson didn’t force her hand because she wasn’t going to kill Danse. And neither was he. She’s grateful he didn’t try for that reason. Not sure she could live with that on top of what’s to come in Nuclear Option.)

But she firmly believes him sparing Danse means there’s hope for him. She knows there’s a good man in there somewhere. He’s so young. Stubborn. Brash. There’s got to be hope for him (and by extension the Brotherhood). He knows nothing but the Brotherhood..maybe if he got to experience the world outside of it or if he’d just sit down and listen..

Having an outsider’s perspective like her’s would be good if you know..they weren’t so cult-like and would listen to other perspectives. God, they only just recently starting letting wastelanders join. Isolation, a strict demand for unconditional obedience and echo chambers create..zealots. And unhealthy ideals like their bigotry are reinforced over and over again because they reject literally everyone else outside of the BoS and members who don’t conform to their norms.

(their codex creeps me the heck out for that reason. It’s so cultish like these people have all been so.. brainwashed dslgfdh. That includes Maxson naturally since you know..he was born into it and groomed to be who he is. Not an excuse but it’s certainly necessary to discuss when discussing him as a character and why he does the shit he does and why he thinks the way he does)

Techno-Religious cult is my favorite term I saw used for the BoS fhlkdfhd

There are a lot of other issues with the BoS too but that’s a whole other post. I have a lot on that in my drafts and how the BoS compares to cults, how they’ve always been dicks and it’s not just Fo4′s Brotherhood etc etc. Also a big giant meta essay on Maxson himself. It’s ridiculous.

Back to my girl.

Guinevere knows Maxson can be better. That the Brotherhood can be better. It’s just…getting there is rather daunting but she’s nothing if not determined. (and maybe a bit overly optimistic/naive)

She’s hoping she’ll be able to get Danse and Maxson to reconcile at the very least eventually. She hates trying to balance them both and you can’t go on like that forever. You can’t deal with someone who has utterly conflicting morals than you forever either. (particularly when your son is a synth)

So, her future with the BoS (and therefore Maxson) ultimately uncertain if there isn’t some sort of change eventually. She’s determined and patient enough to butt heads with Maxson again and again in order to make him see reason. But well, you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink..

She loves with everything she has but if there’s anything she loves more than those two men? Her son. (Both Shauns but I mean synth Shaun in this particular instance. Honestly she keeps him far away from the BoS for obvious reasons even if Maxson seems to..very grudgingly tolerate his existence for her sake. That’s not a good environment for him)

She would choose HIM over both of them. Danse she wouldn’t have to but Maxson? Being in the BoS, being with a man who believes your son should be dead? Shouldn’t even exist? That..the fact she even deals with Maxson and the Brotherhood still after BB is astounding. It’s a testament to her loyalty and the love she has for not only Maxson but the people who have become her family.

Still. If she has to she’ll pick Shaun. That’s her baby boy. A mother’s love is stronger than anything. (or it should be at least. In this case it is)

Basically the whole thing just breaks her heart. All of it. Everyone’s hearts are broken it’s terrible. give me my happy au’s wahh

The most realistic option I suppose is she ends up having to choose her son (and Danse) over the BoS/Maxson. Which is just..heartbreaking for her and I absolutely want to cling to her overly optimistic hope for a better future for everyone.

Can’t they just be happy god damn it.

On another note she does hold a lot of guilt for destroying the Railroad. She knows tactically, to protect the Brotherhood, it was necessary but it doesn’t sit right with her no matter how many times she tells herself that. They were just trying to help synths. They weren’t bad people. She hates all the blood on her hands. (The blood on her hands from Nuclear Option though? that’s the most painful thing of all)

And I love you too, friend :D

#asks #ch: guinevere #my ocs #arthur maxson #paladin danse #otp: as i am #otp: I know your heart #i flailed when i saw an ask about her #like literally i did it was embarrassing

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terresdebrume · 6 years

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So I finally finished rewatching Thor (my laptop doesn’t like playing a movie after a day’s work) and tbh it’s interesting to think of how my interpretation of Loki’s situation has gone over the years.

When I first saw that movie, honestly, I was not only 100 % on Loki’s side, it was simply impossible for me to like Thor, or Odin, or basically anyone else in the movie no matter how badass they were (sorry, Sif). I was in a pretty bad place that winter and Loki’s emotional position struck me as so deeply relatable it hurts...which kind of showed, since I wrote 80 fics featuring (and, often, starring) Loki out of, at the time, something like 115 stories1.

After a while and some navigating through the Thor vs Loki fans/stans wars on Tumblr, it kind of evolved into thinking that yes, Loki’s feelings of hurt and betrayal were real, but since his family loved him he should just work on his own insecurities and get over it, so to speak. The part where Loki was a Frost Giant and how that put Odin’s actions in a different light (whether you assume Odin’s reactions to Loki were 100 % conscious or not) was...pushed aside, sort of. I think it was in part because you can hardly reconcile ‘Loki, this is on you, get over it’ and ‘maybe your parents didn’t really treat you as you needed and maybe it’s in part due to your species and their racism’.

The funny bit is, how I view Loki’s situation seems to be tied to how I interpret my own, actually. Back in 2011, I was very angry toward my family and half convinced they didn’t love me (fun times, in case you were wondering). By 2012, when Avengers came out, I’d fantasized so much about Loki coming back and getting the apologies he needed (from his parents, from his brother, from basically anyone in his life) listening to Thor’s jokes about how Loki was adopted physically hurt. I can’t say that raised the character in my esteem, but at the same time, looking back on it...well, it’s kind of a realistic continuation of Thor. I mean, by the end of that movie no one seems to question Odin’s decisions, no one seems to consider maybe there were things that led to this state of affair in the family besides Loki’s own character/judgment flaws.

At the time, if I recall correctly, that kind of felt like a slap to the face. It didn’t entirely prevent me from enjoying the movie, but I still couldn’t help but feel it was one more way to remind me the public that I Loki was making it all up and needed to shut up because my his family loved me him and therefore not being satisfied with that was, in essence, a character flaw.

In The Dark World, Loki gets punished for what he did in Thor and The Avengers which, lbr he deserves (though full disclosure, I subscribe to the manipulation and psychological abuse at the hand of Thanos theory, so I’m less on board for punishing him for that2). Once again though, there is no questioning of other people’s behavior around him. Frigga basically tells him he’s too self-centered/a bit of a hypocrite, people who supposedly mourned for him3 line up to issue death threats...once again, it’s all on him and his core flaw of not being happy with what makes other people happy. And once again, I thought maybe Loki ought to just get over himself and be happy with things as they were. 2013 was a bit of a better year for me4 so in a sense, it was easier to think that maybe, if I just got it through my head that my family loved me, I’d finally be happy and feel content with myself...which in turn made it easier to accept, again, that Loki was probably just a lost cause and should get over himself.

And then came Ragnarok.

I haven’t really made it a secret that I was disappointed by it, in significant parts because the humor trend of ‘let’s ridicule our character’ was taken way further than what I expected from this franchise and strayed waaaay away from the tone of the previous two movies5. But with a little more time to think about it, I think anther significant part of my disappointment with this move is that, once again, I didn’t get the emotional conclusion I was hoping for. I’m no longer in the same emotional state as I was in 2011, but I’ve also let go of the ‘you should get over it’ mindset, both for myself and for Loki. I’ve said it before but it bears repeating: how I view Loki’s situation is heavily influenced by how I process mine and vice-versa. The result of that is, as I allowed myself to feel hurt/wronged by the way my family acted around me again, it kind of allowed me to start wishing for...idk, balance? A satisfying end to my emotional arc? And to wish the same thing for Loki.

Thor: Ragnarok was...a painful, but probably realistic reminder that this will probably never happen. Beyond the fact that both Frigga and Odin are now dead and are therefore incapable of evolving in any capacity, I highly doubt Thor is ever going to wake up and realize what it’s like to be in Loki’s shoes, which would be a requirement for him to realize what kind of apology Loki needs to hear and why. Similarly, I highly doubt my family is ever going to wake up and apologize for the way they reacted to how they and I were different and how much that hurt, sometimes.

The common point here is Thor, like my fam, did nothing wrong by the social standards he’s accustomed to. I doubt Asgard sees dismissing un-warrior-like behavior as wrong, I doubt they see asserting your alpha male authority by telling others to shut up as wrong, and I doubt they see the constant mocking and belittling of Frost Giants as wrong...so for Thor to admit doing these things are wrong and hurtful would require him to admit not only that he has been hurting someone he cares about by accident but also that the entire moral landscape he (and his country) based his worldview on is flawed, which is complicated and painful and which Thor hasn’t shown any sign of doing so far, and neither has my family6

From there, the logical conclusion is that the moment of emotional justice I crave for both myself and Loki will most likely never happen. I don’t think there’s ever going to be a moment when Thor looks Loki in the eyes and says ‘I didn’t mean to, but I hurt you anyway, I get how, I’m sorry, and I’m not gonna do it again’. I don’t know how they’ll deal with that in the movies, if they’ll keep this craving as part of Loki’s characterization or if they’ll eventually reach a point where Loki is just a-okay with his situation even without the emotional closure7 but either way, it’s not going to happen for Loki, and it’s probably not going to happen to me either and that is...something I have trouble mourning, I guess. Which, well. There’s always fics, and things I could write myself, but it’s not exactly the same thing, is it?

I’m doing a rough estimate of my cumulated AO3+FFN count of the time here. Might get it wrong.

Also for what it’s worth I think it’s super fucked up (though utterly unsurprising) how the entire franchise dropped Loki’s frost-giant-ness and how that probably influenced the way Odin (and, consequently, everyone else) treated him, not to mention the hot mess that is his decision to exterminate all Frost Giants only after he discovers he is one.

Not very long if we got by the ending of Thor but, you know. Let’s pretend they did. (Also I acknowledge that, post Thor, they have rock solid reason to assume he’d be capable of attempting murder on Thor and to distrust him in general. I guess I just feel like they mourned their supposed friendship with him really fast).

Shoutout to my tumblr friends and to the awesome Winnie for helping me through so much bullshit.

The most frustrating part of that is that there are many things to like in this movie, from the criticism of Asgard’s imperialism and the whole ‘benevolent conqueror’ narrative that’s been the baseline from Thor and was criticized even then, to the fact that Ragnarok!Loki is probably the closest we’ve seen to the real Loki (given that it’s the first movie where he didn’t start out in the middle of an emotional crisis). Unfortunately for me, the way they were conveyed didn’t jam with my hopes/expectations for the movie.

I never pretended this wasn’t a personal post ^^’

To be honest, what I’ve heard about Loki in Infinity Wars so far kind of makes me fear a relapse, but I’m hoping they’re just planting red herrings. Hopefully.

#my posts #matt has a life #matt watches #mcu #loki #thor #thor's first #What were you the god of again #spoilers #ragnarok spoilers #where is my oversized male ego #my meta #mcu meta #this is half meta half personal tbh #replying to it purely on meta levels is ok though

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jacobsmith321 · 4 years

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The Personality of the Characters.

It’s good to talk about the history and how much you love the films...but that doesn’t mean much unless you explain why there’s so much charm. The reason why the films also work are because of the characters that are written in, the quirks and redeemable or possibly irredeemable traits they carry.

Aardman has created a LOT of diverse personalities and why they work so well with one another or against each other, is due to a combination of realism along with fiction. The realistic likes, dislikes, quirks and lovable aspects, fused within a made up world, where anything can happen.

Examples

Wallace and Gromit

Wallace and Gromit’s dynamic is that of being best friends (more than master and owner, plus dogs are “man’s best friend”). They read together, eat together and work together. They both work average jobs and man very complex inversions that allow them to make simple tasks !easier” with such needless devises and ridiculous strategies (but they work), for simple tasks such as washing windows, baking bread or pest control. This part of their dynamic makes them interesting because they could make almost anything they wanted and their next mundane task can be taken to a hilarious and grand level.

As to how their personalities make them so great, takes that previous concept to a whole new level. Wallace is your typical stereotypical Brit; Wallance loves to drink tea, relax, read the newspaper and speaks in an old timely accent, having words like “chum” or “lad”. He even has mild mannerisms to not raise his voice, be patient and take it easy. But this personality trait can also make him very unaware of his surrounding, almost leading to him causing accidents accidents or forgetting very important tasks. This also leads him to being very unaware of danger and leading to a situation getting out of hand unintentionally. He’s a genius but not very smart. He’ll fall for almost any lady or believe someone too quickly. Also, he’s crackers for cheese and it’s his weakness and it adds that little quirk in his personality which shows how human and life like he is. His big cheesy grin and way he holds his hands up, shows he’s a very friendly and lovely chap.

This is where Gromit comes in. His personality is the exact opposite; he’s always got Wallace’s back no matter what. He’s the first one who’s always aware and suspicious of a situation. Gromit’s just like Wallace where he’s calm and wants to relax but when trouble’s afoot he needs to put down the cuppa and put on a fresh pot to see what’s going on. He may save Wallace from dangerous robot dogs, a hunter who wants to steal back his girl, a crazy bread baking serial killer or even a thieving penguin. Gromit’s a dog so he doesn’t speak or have a mouth but that’s the beauty of his design. You get everything from the expression of his eyes, movements and action alone. You can tell exactly what’s thinking and what his train of thought is, like rolling his eyes means he’s sighing, the slight moody with a lifted brow is suspicion or squinting his eyes with a lifted brow means he’s embarrassed...it just works. His quirkiness is that he’s still a dog, so he can’t be understood no matter how many times he tries to point something out and does become the butt of the joke when one of Wallace’s inventions needs something done or goes wrong, He’s still got chew toys, record labels like Puppy Love and still gets things like collars or leads.

Wallace is the comic relief and Gromit is the straight man (a person who has to be the mature and non-jokey person in the group). They make a perfect comedic duo, are always there one another and are 2 of Britain’s most iconic characters.

Feathers McGraw

Out of all the villains in British animation, this has to be one of the most scariest and hilarious ones. Feather McGraw was introduced in the Wallace and Gromit episode “The Wrong Trousers” where Wallace and Gromit have a new person renting a room in their house but when Wallace gets a new pair of techno trousers, all becomes hectic. The new person renting their room is Feather McGraw (a penguin) who is actually a master thief who wears a chicken hat in his crimes to not get caught when he takes it off. Feathers uses Wallace and the techno trousers to steal the diamond but thankfully Gromit had caught on to him and after a complicated heist and dramatic train scene, they Feathers and sent him to...a zoo.

Feathers works as a villain in the context of Wallace and Gromit because he’s a goody little penguin with a silly chicken hat...but that doesn’t make you laugh honestly. Due to his emotionless look, lack of expression and subtle movements made, you get this off vibe from him. Animals need to have some sort of emotional, indication; it doesn’t matter if the signals animals and humans get are angry, happy sad or bored, they need something. Feather has not emotions and even when he does that willy little thing when he flips the rubber chicken hat over his heads, it’s just a slight break away from the tension we get from him.

Gromit doesn’t like him and he honestly scares Gromit, with making his living conditions harder. Wallace suffers with a humiliation of being stuck in the techno trousers and even during his sleep he was forces to do a heist. During the train scene, Feathers had a revolver to shoot at them both to ward them off while he was getting away. That is insane and quite frankly frightening for a small flightless bird to have. He’s goofy in terms of his concept and design...but his lack of expression and devious actions make him more scary frankly. Also like Gromit, he says nothing and has no mouth (he has a beak but it never opens).

Morph

Morph is their oldest surviving character and series, even before their poster men of Wallace and Gromit.

Morph is a Plasticine model who loves to play games and do silly antics with his friends. His main power is to...morph and become whatever he wants. He can also be pulled apart and stick pieces back onto himself. be flattened and brought back to normal shape, stretch himself and more. He can transform into objects and animals.

His personality is child like and goofy (since his program is very catered to the younger demographic), so he’s relatable to children when acting like this.

He speaks but not with a normal voice, as it’s high pitch and their are odd vocals with no actual dialogue or proper wording, which can work as the character’s expression, tone of voice and actions can say more than actual words can, so more focus and fun’s put on the concept of the skits.

Morph works as a characters because he’s simple. He gets grumpy when he’s annoyed by someone or something doesn’t go his way but he likes to play and be silly, even pull jokes at times. He doesn’t need to be too complex but he’s expressive enough for kids to love him.

Ginger

Ginger is from one of my favourite childhood films, Chicken Run (also their first collaboration with Dreamworks). This Aardman product was brilliant in terms of writing, character depth, progression and development. It was a WW2 styled film about chickens that want escape the coop and farm they’re stuck in, before they’re turned into pies. They lead by a brave chicken named Ginger, who never gives up on wanting to leave and no matter how many times she’s put into solitary confinement, she manages to get back up. Eventually after an ecounter with Rocky the Rooster, they attempt to learn how to fly and after a load of events, it lead to them creating a plain to escape the farm and they manage to live a peaceful life.

As to how Ginger works as a character, she is your typical strong headed protagonist that never gives up but she has faith in others which makes her strong. She’s the most stable minded but even her aspirations can make her irrational. She has the best intentions and keeps the groups of chickens from getting mad and going off the rails.

Ginger’s development with Rocky shows how even she needs faith herself and that she’s open to letting people give her hope, so when she finds out Rocky lied to her about being able to fly, she felt a sense of betrayal within her...but even then, she puts other’s feelings before hers and so she carries on working on that plan to create a plain and even defeats the farmer planning to kill her and the chickens. She even forgives Rocky for what he lied about when he returned to save them.

This shows that Aardman don’t just make films based off comedy but can be serious and apply subtle messages, themes and heart whelming stories.

Ginger personifies that greatly. She’s got a lot of wonderful, strong traits but her faults make her perfect, because she’s not perfect (no one is but everyone has their unique aspects, even the negative one). Also her character design is well worked with slight human elements to let her be practical and emotive but still look like a chicken.

Conclusion

Aardman don’t just make characters, they make people. They don’t make them perfect but that’s what makes them perfect. their struggles and life style feels relatable and real; the companionship, silliness, slightly serious moments and captivating quirks makes them human and likable.

They definitely add a lot of British elements into their stories and they personify those qualities well via their characters, in speech, actions and movements.

Aardman, knows what their doing and always had been,

Virgin Media. (2020, September 13). Ten cracking Aardman characters. Retrieved October 3, 2020, from Virgin Media: https://www.virginmedia.com/virgin-tv-edit/movies/our-favourite-aardman-character (Images are from)

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shafferangelina95 · 4 years

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God Please Save My Marriage Jaw-Dropping Tips

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How To Avoid Divorce In Marriage

Hoping, wishing and hoping won't get your marriage relationship especially so.They didn't see coming is knowing your spouse's affair might be possible for the DateSo, when you make your relationship must experience a successful resolution of your life.Possibly, you did not treat such disorders but it is nobody's fault.This isn't usually information you can use in saving your marriage.

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#God Please Save My Marriage Jaw-Dropping Tips #What To Say To Your Wife To Stop A Divorce

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gentlemanbeggarblog · 6 years

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Star Wars: The Last Jedi Review - Warning Spoilers

As a new Star Wars is released, the excitement, intrigue and love for the franchise covers everyone’s eyes in a rose coloured tint. Except this guy. The thing about The Last Jedi is, is it isn’t very good.

Star Wars: Episode VIII: The Last Jedi is familiar yet too different, it is funny when it really shouldn’t be, it is over the top when it should be restrained. Writer/director Rian Johnson has clearly bitten off more than he can chew especially off the backs of his smaller films Brick (2005), The Brothers Bloom (2008) and Looper (2012).

If the world of Star Wars came back in The Force Awakens it has left this universe and gone elsewhere. In a world where Trump is president and racism and social inequality is prevalent more than ever, people are naming this the darkest timeline. This film helps prove that theory. This is not the Star Wars you remember or wanted.

The Force Awakens lived off the nostalgia of the original trilogy while introducing new characters and a not so new story, The Last Jedi seems to throw nostalgia and characterization out the window and launch into what can only be described as fan fiction, that is only legitimized as it is actually a canon film.

It is surprising that after the grief The Force Awakens received for being a replica of A New Hope, that The Last Jedi copies the story beats from The Empire Strikes Back. We start with the rebels leaving a planet as the clutches of the Empire, sorry, First Order close in while our hero is on a distant and barely inhabited planet in search of an old Jedi master who just wants to be left alone. As our hero’s friends travel through space to escape the villains in black, they get to meet new characters and find themselves being betrayed before our hero reunites with them and with newfound power tries to save what is left of the day.

Visually, there are moments that are the most gorgeous in the entire series: Supreme Leader Snoke’s red on black throne room and Vice Admiral Holdo’s Hyperspace sacrifice, but without a strong story and likeable characters to follow, relying on visuals alone is not enough.

The storyline involving Rey, Luke and Kylo Ren is the most interesting and captivating but when it deviates to the other superfluous storylines, it sags and you realize how much the new and newest characters don’t fit into this universe.

Focusing on the original characters, Johnson has altered the way in which they will forever be seen. Leia is now more force trained than ever, even though her power came through emotion and empathy. It could be argued that as she was near death, her unconscious mind took over and saved her, but considering she didn’t do anything for the rest of the film and that Carrie Fisher has passed after filming, it would have been a very effective death for the character.

Luke is now Yoda: crazy, alone and wants to die. His reason for leaving everything is that he felt the darkness in Ben Solo and got caught in the brief moment of attempting to murder him that he left everything he believed in and everything that the original trilogy set the character up as. Here we have a very different man to the one that was willing to sacrifice his life just to prove that there was still good in his father who was the biggest mass murderer in their universe. In Empire Strikes Back Luke leaves his training early to save his friends, here Luke won’t leave his isolation to even be with his family. This turn for the character doesn’t hold true to what was previously built but works within the context of the film, except for Ben Solo’s reason to destroy everything that Luke had built.

Kylo Ren is one of the strongest characters in this film, changing from a petulant child to a soldier that is torn between what he knows is right and his orders. Adam Driver works hard to show the turmoil inside of Ren but when push comes to shove at the end of the film, this turmoil seems to be gone, rendering the power play between light and dark within him moot. It is not explained why he choose to massacre the other padawan’s in Luke’s temple before burning it to the ground after Luke’s attempt at confronting Ben.

Finn and Poe have the most superfluous storylines, so off the mark in fact that they don’t do anything heroic and end up getting more than half of the Resistance fleet killed. Their misadventures introduce us to the newest characters of the Star Wars universe. Kelly Marie Tran’s Rose, Benicio Del Toro’s creatively named DJ and Laura Dern’s Vice Admiral Holdo. Both Rose and DJ are tied for the worst character, while Holdo should have been replaced with a character that we cared about, Admiral Ackbar anyone?

Rose seems shoehorned in as Poe can’t journey with Finn to the casino planet (with it’s heavy use of CGI characters, exploration of the world and scenes aimed at children – this felt like it belonged in the prequel trilogy). Here they need to find a hacker and then hack the First Order ship tracking the Resistance convoy. What we’re given is this paper thin character that explains to Finn how war profiteering is bad, gambling is bad and that slave kids are bad. She also delivers the most groan inducing line of this series so far, ‘We’ll beat them by protecting the ones we love’, before kissing a non-reciprocating Finn and passing out or dying. I’m hoping for the latter. This is also after she knocked out both her and Finn’s fighter so Finn doesn’t kamikaze himself into a giant laser beam that would have blown open the base shielding the remaining Resistance fighters.

DJ is a stuttering hacker that is only in this film so that there can be a betrayal. That’s it. We don’t care too much about the character nor his relationship to Finn and Rose, so the shock-horror of his duplicity barely registers as anything too important. Holdo has the most to do here, but the audience has no connection to her, even though she was doing the right thing all along and Poe is actually the traitorous scum that nearly got them all killed.

This film delves deeper into Poe’s character and by that we are shown a shallow rapscallion with a death wish that will do whatever he wants because he believes himself to be a hero. In the end he doesn’t gain the audience’s trust back but doesn’t seem to have any guilt over his terrible decisions. Holdo’s sacrifice should have been swapped out with Poe, resulting in a more emotive moment over a loss of a mainstay character.

After two films, I still don’t get who Finn is. What I know about him is that he was kidnapped as a child, brainwashed by space Nazi’s, became their janitor, worked his way up to a soldier, then during his first mission out his indoctrination didn’t work, decided it wasn’t for him and ran away. This film adds little else to the character. He likes to make light of most situations but most importantly he has no idea what he is doing and doesn’t really seem like someone who was groomed to be a soldier.

John Williams is back again as composer but here the music doesn’t seem to be iconic or special and that really sums up this film, there is nothing special about it.

The Force Awakens opened up so many questions and possibilities that aren’t actually answered here but swept under the rug to not be explored again. Supreme Leader Snoke, who we only saw via giant hologram last time, makes his full appearance where we see that he is actually a powerful Sith Lord and …. That’s all. We don’t know who he is, where he came from or why he cares about Rey and Ren nor will we find out. The possible love story between Rey and Finn is now gone, replaced by Rose’s affections for Finn and the complicated feelings between Rey and Ren as they try to convince each other that their side is the best.

The film tries to create a serious tone around the theme of failure. Everyone fails in this film or reflects on their failures; Luke failing Ben Solo, Leia failing the galaxy, Kylo Ren failing Supreme Leader Snoke. This theme fits with the second movie of trilogies being the lowest point for all the characters. It is the turn before the heroic ending, except this film is so light hearted and filled with jokes that the weight of characters failures fail to land. The film starts on a joke, rendering earnest and serious characters into baffled and bumbling idiots that were only reserved for droids in the original. There are also ridiculous moments that leave the audience unable to suspend their disbelief any more because these moments don’t belong; BB-8 controlling an AT-ST or the one lone ship among wreckage and flame that is unarmed on the horizon and in Finn and Rose’s line of sight.

The use of the force in this film is overused and everyone is over-powered. If you reflect on the original trilogy Luke had a tenuous grasp of his telekinetic powers after two years of training. Here Rey, and even a little slave boy, can use these powers on a whim. Anakin Skywalker, who was apparently the most powerful Jedi and the Chosen One, didn’t even have this power without training. It’s moments like these that lack credibility in the already well-constructed franchise. Even though these things aren’t real and don’t exist they still need to conform to their own rules and sense of believability, it’s why Superman flying backwards to change time doesn’t make sense.

Episode IX needs to hurry up and be released so that this entire trilogy can be ignored like that fourth Indiana Jones film that never came out.

Fans of Star Wars will flock to the film and so will most regular cinema goers, so it isn’t about whether it is worth seeing the film but really its worth in the mythology that is the Star Wars universe. So given that, it’s worth? Wait until the New Year where audiences will die down, find your cheapest cinema and see it there, or just wait until it is on Netflix.

#star wars #the last jedi #episode VIII #review #spoilers #gentelmanbeggar

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