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#love him though I love elves so so so much whatever the story or media theyre automatically blorbos
r-aindr0p · 4 months
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Read dungeon meshi up to vol.8 so far, so here you go Can't stop taking back the (vol.8) book and looking through the pages again and again and I'm wondering why does Mithrun just... grab Not even to use his magic, he just... grabs...
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kimmimaru · 2 years
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Thoughts about Rings of Power. Overall. Spoilers in this so I stuck it under a cut.
So, I spent this whole season anxious as hell about Rings of Power. I’m not a huge fan of twists in stories that have already been told, and due to my ASD I do have trouble adapting to new content in things I enjoy especially when it comes to LOTR. Does that make me a bad person? I have no idea. I just know that I am extremely fussy and uptight about things I hold close to my heart. Because I’m autistic I have special interests and become obsessed with them to the point where it can, sometimes, be detrimental. I’ve gotten better at managing that as an adult but as a child it was pretty intense. I was obsessed with three things as a kid; Star Wars (original trilogy), Final Fantasy VII and of course Lord of The Rings. I have consumed as much LOTR media as I could get my grubby little hands on. So yes, Rings of Power made me nervous. It would have, to a certain extent, whatever platform it was shown on but in this case it was Amazon. Amazon are well known for being money obsessed and not giving a crap about anything except making Bezos richer. So yes, I think I was pretty justified in being nervous about what was going to happen in Rings of Power. As a whole RoP had it’s ups and downs. I’ll start with the ups: Galadriel was brilliantly cast. She looks exactly like I would imagine a younger Galadriel would look like. I enjoyed her acting. Elrond’s actor was also brilliant, he has such depth and also that lightness that all of Tolkein’s elves were supposed to have. A sort of child-like cheekiness that I felt Peter Jackson’s version lacked. The dwarves...I could go on forever about how the dwarves were portrayed in RoP but for now I will just say: AMAZING. I loved Moria. I loved Prince Durin’s friendship with Elrond. I LOVED Disa. I need more of them.  Costume design was wonderful. Absolutely LOVED Galadriel’s dress in todays episode. Stunning green colour.  Still unsure about how I like the Elves’ home set designs yet. I like what we saw but maybe I would just appreciate seeing more?  Now, the stranger...or wizard as we now know (always knew lol). I was, for reasons unknown even to me, CONVINCED they wouldn’t be allowed to use Gandalf so kind of assumed he was either one of the mysterious ‘blue wizards’ or possibly even Radagast the brown as he IS a nature wizard and given the strangers display of magic through most of his scenes you’d assume his magic was nature orientated. Apparently not. They did scare me when the white robed people were calling him Sauron, I was about to switch it off. Glad I didn’t but I HATE shit like that. Wish they hadn’t pulled that stunt. So yeah that’s a negative for me I’m afraid, although a small one admittedly.  Sadoc’s death was gutting, I really liked his character. So that was sad.  Now. Sauron and the question of who he was. I thought it was the dark haired pointy eared one, everything pointed to him. So unless this was part of Sauron’s overall plot (you know, use dark haired guy as a diversion for the elves/numenor), which I hope it was, that was kind of irritating. Again with the stupid ‘twists’ I hate it so much. I don’t watch stuff to then go away feeling tricked. The fact that the ‘king’ of the south ended up being Sauron was actually very good. I am hoping that the dark haired ‘Uruk’ was actually just acting on Sauron’s orders as a distraction rather than it being a red herring for us the audience, because that would be disappointing. I know some plot twists, if done right, can be very good but RoP is based off of material that has already been written and I just have issues with sticking in stupid red herrings for the audience BUT if he was actually a red herring for the characters then it serves some purpose and I can let that go.  Anyway, overall, despite some mixed feelings over some areas of RoP I think it was pretty good. I would really like to see more of Moria and the Dwarves though, lol. Maybe next season will focus on them getting their rings.  Sorry of the long post, I have many thoughts. More than this even but I think I’ll leave it here for now. As an after thought I will add that no, I have never, nor will I ever read or write LOTR fanfiction. This is because I would never be able to capture the same magic that LOTR carries in my own writing. This is not me hating on LOTR fanfiction, write what you want, enjoy writing what you want. It’s just not for me.
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electricshoebox · 3 years
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writing tag
Tagged by the lovely @adventuresofmeghatron, thank you!
Tagging: @junemermaid, @molliehaswords, @desynchimminent, @valkyriejack, and @mercurymiscellany​, if you’d like to do it!
1.  How many works do you have on AO3? 
39. Holy shit. 
2.  What’s your total AO3 word count?
533,274 words. Holy shit.
3. What are you top 5 fics by kudos?
How to Share a Bed Without Killing Each Other: a Love Story (Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dorian/Iron Bull, 5 Chapters, Complete) The trials and tribulations of literally sleeping together.
Rivers in the Sand (Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dorian/Iron Bull, Oneshot, Complete) The Hissing Wastes unsettles Bull’s memories, and when he and Dorian are trapped together by a fallen pillar, Dorian helps him deal.
a soft place to land (Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dorian/Iron Bull, Oneshot, Complete) When a letter from his father sets him off, Dorian turns to Bull for a distraction.
Always Good at Bad Ideas  (Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dorian/Iron Bull, Oneshot, Complete) Bull gets injured fighting a dragon, which leaves Dorian frantic enough to blurt out the one thing he was trying to keep to himself.
Flashpoint (Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dorian/Iron Bull, Oneshot, Complete) “One time he got so excited he set the curtains on fire.”
4. Do you respond to comments?  Why or why not? 
Yes, always! I’ve seen various opinions on whether authors should, but to me, engaging with and getting excited with readers is half the fun and half the point. I also just really want people to know how much it means to me not only that they read, but that they take the time to leave a comment. Comments are hard to write. I completely sympathize with that, sometimes you just don’t know what to say or how to say it, and I absolutely don’t begrudge anyone that doesn’t. It just means a lot to me when people do, even when it’s literally just “This was cool!” or something, and I want them to know that it’s appreciated!
5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?
Hmmm. I guess that sort of depends on your definition of angsty. None of them have directly tragic endings, it’s just not in me to write that way, but I have one or two with open or less definitely, obviously happy endings. The rarepair DA2 oneshot I wrote for Merrill/Orana, Counting the Cost, has the most open ending, left completely up to interpretation. The Inception AU DAI fic I wrote for Dorian/Bull, In the Shadow of Dreams, has what I think of as an optimistic ending, and less a happy one. I tried to end that one with more romance, but it just didn’t fit the tone of the rest of the fic, so a quiet ending that signals a road to recovery was what I chose instead.
6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?
Most all of my oneshots have pretty happy endings. I guess I’m tempted say A Line in the Sand, my Deacon/MacCready start-from-scratch slow burn novel, just because it goes from antagonists to lovers and has the longest road with the most earned happy ending. I feel like the long struggle to get there makes it feel happier. 
7. Do you write crossovers?  If so, what’s the craziest one you’ve written?
Not really. Instead I’m sometimes tempted into AUs based on other media, but not full blown crossovers with actual different characters meeting. Even then, I’m really picky in what I enjoy. I’ve only written one, the Inception AU for Dragon Age that I mentioned above. Honestly, it requires no knowledge of Inception at all. I really just stole a bunch of concepts from it and then made my own modernized Thedas around them.
8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?
Thankfully no! I’ve received one or two kind of odd comments, but otherwise I’ve been very lucky and everyone’s been really nice.
9.  Do you write smut?  If so, what kind?
Hell yeah! I’ve written many kinds, really, whatever I feel like or whatever fits the fic. I’ve done plenty of your typical smut. I branched out into light BDSM with several of my Dorian/Bull fics, as well as waxplay and praise kink. I’ve also done some roleplay in the vein of “established relationship pretending to be strangers meeting at a bar” for Deacon/MacCready with By Any Other Name.
10.  Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I know of. 
11. Have you ever had a fic translated?
I have! Two of my Dorian/Bull fics, Wishing Stars and No Patron Saint of Silent Restraint, both by the same lovely person: landanding on AO3. I don’t think I stopped flailing for a solid day when I got the request for permission either time.
12.  Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Not since pre-AO3 days, beyond collaborating in a tabletop setting. I’m not completely opposed to the idea but it would have to be someone I felt really, really comfortable with and with whom I have really good communication. I’m really particular about my writing, and I’d need to know someone’s emotional comfort level with trading and changing and even eliminating ideas.
13.  What’s your all-time favourite ship?
Oh god that’s honestly really hard. I’ve written the most for Dorian/Bull and that ship will always have a special place in my heart. But I did write my first full-length novel for Deacon/MacCready, and they’ve already got me in the middle of my second. So they’re the ship that taught me I could do that, and they’re my beloved rarepair. There are a few more I absolutely love, but I think those are my top two right now.
14.  What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?
Definitely Uprising. It was the first time I tried longform fic, and it was meant to be an entire retelling of DA2 with Velanna as the Justice-bearing character, rather than Anders, because after learning the developers almost took DA2 in that direction, I couldn’t get it out of my head. I had a lot of plans for it, for how Justice might develop differently, for what it might have looked like if elves had been more of the battleground issue instead of mages vs. templars, for some angsty bittersweet long distance Nathaniel/Velanna and some complicated Fenris/Hawke and Merrill/Orana. But I drifted away from Dragon Age fandom in interest a long time ago, and I’m not sure I’ll ever get the steam back for it. I’m proud of how far I did get, though.
15. What are your writing strengths?
I feel pretty confident with dialogue, I can usually make a scene flow with it pretty well and I spend a lot of time trying to be meticulous about character voice. I’ve gotten a lot of positive feedback on my descriptions, which I appreciate and wouldn’t have considered a strength, but my readers have been kind. I think I’m pretty good at including body language, too, though maybe to a fault.
16.  What are you writing weaknesses?
Much as people have been kind on the feedback, I really feel like action scenes are a weakness for me. I don’t enjoy writing them and I struggle a lot to make them feel like they’re flowing over just bulletpointing. I also feel like I struggle to make them exciting. I feel like I struggle with exposition scenes as well, and keeping them interesting over info-dumping. 
17.  What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
I’m generally in favor of including them, but with the caution of doing thorough research if it’s not a language I speak. I shy away from it if I can’t be completely sure it’s accurate, because I don’t want to risk putting off a native speaker reader, or saying/doing something offensive. I’d expand that to include anything about another culture, really. For example, I’ve been slowly picking away at writing a Fallout fic for my Sole Survivor Anthony and Preston, and part of what has been slow going is just making sure I’m getting Anthony’s culture right. His parents immigrated from Vietnam, and I want his experiences with them and with his culture to be as accurate and respectful as possible, not falling into any stereotypes but also being allowed to be complicated. 
18.  What was the first fandom you wrote for?
Depends on what we’re measuring. The first fandom I ever wrote fic for of any kind was Sailor Moon. The first fandom I actually put fic on the internet for was Lord of the Rings, on good old fanfiction.net. The first fandom I published on AO3 for was Dragon Age.
19.  What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?
God this is such a hard question to answer, my feelings on my writing change so often. I think it’s hard for A Line in the Sand not to be my favorite for the reasons I’ve already mentioned, it’s my first successful novel-length fic, I accomplished a lot with it and learned a lot from it, and it’s a rarepair I got to kind of develop from scratch in my own way. 
But if I look back at my whole repertoire so far, just to branch out from the usual answer, I’d say I’m also really fond of To Have and to Hold, which was the first time I ever participated in a minibang, or really any kind of writing challenge. It’s a Dorian/Bull established relationship fic set during Trespasser, and it’s kind of a meditation on Dorian’s past and present and how they’ve shaped his feelings on love and commitment and marriage, all while he’s trying to decide his future. I’m proud of how it came out, and I think my Dorian voice still holds up okay. Plus I had two incredible artists working with me who put together stunning work for it, and how could I not be super grateful for that? 
It’s funny, most of the top ones up there for kudos are ones that I don’t personally think are my best, it’s a lot of my very early offerings for Dorian/Bull that I think I could improve on a lot of if I tackled them now. I’m grateful people like them but I feel like they’re more an accident of timing, being published early in the ship’s popularity. 
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leapyearkisses · 3 years
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For the director’s cut: Orbs Are Bad News, please? Part 2 (or both, if you’re willing!) It’s one of my favorites 💗
One of my favorites, too! Thanks for the ask! :D I'll do both parts, with Part 2 to follow this a bit later.
Director's cut comments in bold below the cut! MESS, m/m, holding a handkerchief, etc.
This story came from a prompt on a writing meme about a character losing the use of their hands while having to deal with snz. I can't remember at the moment if the prompt was D&D-flavored or if I just picked that setting myself because I was really into playing the game at the time (still am!). Also I'm incredibly sleep-deprived, so I hope these comments don't ramble overmuch.
"Okay, we don't know what we're dealing with here, so let's be careful." Gerrit pushed open the heavy wooden door and lifted his torch to illuminate the room inside. The firelight played over several tables covered in intriguing objects and glinted teasingly off of more than one hint of gold. Gerrit himself spotted a stolid wooden chest in the corner and his heart rate quickened.
When I was a kid, my mom gave me the Dragonlance books and I fell in love with them, although it was a long time before I was able to play D&D myself. I attribute my love of the very traditional fantasy realm to these books and my enduring love of sickly mages to Raistlin (Soulforge was like an EXPERIENCE for me). Gerrit has his origins in Tanis Half-Elven - he's a good guy, kind of a normal/default fighter build. "Jackpot," breathed Remembrance, the party's resident ne'er-do-well. She rubbed her hands together, sharp nails clicking. Gerrit was sure she was assigning price tags to the lot of it, except for whatever she hid in her bags for herself, of course. "I know a guy in the capitol who'll pay through the nose for that pervy little statue there." "That is a religious object," chastised Cordes with a haughty tsk. "It's used in rituals of worship for the goddess Fortuna." "Oh, I'm sure he'll be worshipping," cackled Remembrance, and she slipped past Gerrit into the vault. "Few hundred gold and he'll be rubbing out a grand ol' prayer." Her pointed tail waved with greedy delight. "Hey! The proper course of action would be to bring it back to a temple!" Cordes went after her, pushing Gerrit aside.
Remembrance and Cordes are here to be the beta couple and provide background color. Their development was based on a few factors: A) a D&D party should have ~4 people with different abilities (fighter, sorcerer, cleric, rogue), B) a priest and a devil is never not a fun/ny dynamic, C) I'm not into F snz but I feel bad that most of my OCs are not women, and D) given that Gerrit is a "default" archetype, there needed to be differing characters to contrast his personality with (or he would seem to have none). Also I like dirty jokes, so Remembrance can be my humorous id for this purpose lol The half-elf grumbled but wasn't surprised. "At least TRY not to touch anything cursed," he called. He'd been the one to organize this little band, but although he was the one who reported to their patron, he had precious little influence over what they did. They were happy to point to him when some upstart had a problem with the party, though. Ingrates. He turned to the last member of the group. "What about you, Llewellyn? I thought I saw some books on the far table." "Lead the way," replied the sorcerer, and his usually mellifluous voice sounded strained. Purple shadowed the hollows under his faintly luminous silver eyes, and he had his nose tucked into his handkerchief again. Gerrit hadn't spent much time around full elves, but he'd always believed they couldn't get sick, at least not like a human or dwarf. Llewellyn had been dragging since Saints' Day, though, and seemed to have come down with a flu. His skin, where visible under his fitted robes, was wan.
Fuck up that slender, haughty elf man is an endlessly running subroutine in my head. "Sure," said Gerrit, and he stepped into the room, holding the door out so that Llewellyn could join him. "You, uh, you don't look like you're feeling any better." "Oh," said the sorcerer, "I'm not. I ran out of tonics." He entered the vault and walked over to one of the tables, investigating a strangely shaped glass bowl. "But as we were already down here, I'm not sure what you want me to say. There's no inn at which I might rest my weary bones." "Cordes could make you an herbal remedy," Gerrit grumped. He went over to the chest he'd seen earlier and smashed the lock off with the pommel of his dagger. He didn't need any fancy lockpicking tools like Remembrance's. And hitting something felt good when his companions were all intent to be annoying, acerbic, or both. "I suppose," Llewellyn replied, sounding uncertain as his voice wavered. Gerrit tried to ignore the way his ears heated at that. That was the tone that overtook the elf when he was preparing to sneeze. It wasn't any of Gerrit's concern. His occasional roll in the hay (literal and figurative) with Llewellyn did not make it easier or more appropriate to acknowledge his odd attractions, especially since they were currently ransacking a dungeon with a priest and a psychopath. He focused his attention on searching the chest, and he was rewarded with a heavy coin purse, a stack of calfskin-bound journals, and a ruby the size of a robin's egg. He whistled.
Gerrit and Llewellyn are the dynamic opposite of Eliseo and Padgett. Gerrit is the less-privileged, more personable, "low class" character and Llewellyn is the high-born, fussier, sarcastic noble; however, in this story Gerrit is the voyeur character with the fetish and the POV window while Llewellyn is tortured for everyone's amusement. Narratively it's more fun and easier for me to describe the non-fetish-having character because I also like the power of the narrator to be that voyeuristic eye. Llewellyn gasped. "Hah- hahttsch-ow!"
I made myself laugh while writing this hahah "'Ow'?" Cordes appeared from behind a bookshelf, one arm wrapped tightly around a thick rug, the other reaching for his pack of salves. "What is it? Cut? Burn?" When Gerrit looked, their sorcerer was rubbing his nose with his left hand. "Bruise," Llewellyn said. He lifted his right hand, in which he held a blue crystal orb that was knotted inside a thin lattice of gold chain. "I got my hand caught." He'd apparently run the thing into his nose when trying to cover his sneeze. Llewellyn's thin face was already dusted pink from the embarrassment. Gerrit couldn't help but laugh. "Very graceful," he chuckled. "I will thank you for keeping it to yourself," Llewellyn replied, and that was elvish dialect for "fuck you." Gerrit laughed again.
Embarrassment is a huge part of my enjoyment of this kink because of the ensuing power dynamics. The victim is thrown into disequilibrium by something (snz) that is inherently seen as socially inappropriate, disgusting, or at least uncomfortable. Almost always their reaction is outsized to what it would probably be outside of a fet context (most people can sneeze in public without feeling shame - which is the typical mode, lol. It's a normal bodily function). However, then the other character, motivated by their BF's anxiety and potential humiliation is prompted to caretake and comfort them, "approve" of the "shameful" act, and deepen the intimacy of the couple. They can also enjoy the embarrassment and the act voyeuristically while feeling their own discomfort about watching, then deal with either having to divulge the kink or be found out by their partner later (because consent is the sexiest thing, really). But I love my characters and I'm not into hardcore stuff so much, so there are almost never any consequences of the "humiliation" - the characters do not get caught out, they do not get shamed by society, they do not actually lose face or have to explain their sexual preferences to anyone who should not know them.
Now you know way too much about my psychology but also the basic formula for any kink story I have written or will write in my entire life. Yay! Cordes had leaned over to see the orb better in the firelight. He was the only one among them whose vision was hindered by the dim light. "What kind of artifact is this?" he asked. "It doesn't resemble anything I've studied."
Lol humans don't have darkvision. "I'm not sure." Llewellyn held it up to the torch. The orb lit up like a lamp, but otherwise nothing happened. "Whatever this chain is, though, it's very prone to tangling." He tried to shake it off his wrist and failed. This was a task for both hands, and he set to freeing himself. And kept trying. And trying. Gerrit frowned. "What are you doing? Cordes, would you get that off of him?" "Sure." The priest reached out to help, but Llewellyn suddenly backed away out of reach. "Uh... I'm not trying to steal it, elf." "Oh, I would let you take it," Llewellyn said, scowling. "But I have a feeling we would be in for some trouble if you touch it now." He held up both hands. His palms were wrapped around the crystal and bound with the ball in that thin gold chain. "I am... I'm stuck."
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"STUCK," hooted Remembrance again. She was crouched at the entrance to the dungeon - a root-cellar-like set of doors they'd found in a small bandit settlement - and hauling out a heavy pack stuffed with loot. In the daylight, she looked menacing and out of place, her horns, dusky maroon skin tone, and black eyes setting her apart from this land's primarily human residents. "And you even said not to touch any curses!"
Jump cuts are funny! I love this kind of thing, honestly. It's some of my favorite humor - that and dramatic irony, which is also often depicted in visual media with a funny jump cut. "I recall you said so as well," said Cordes, who looked exactly like a run-of-the-mill human resident except for the star-like scar on his left temple. He reached down and grabbed Gerrit's hand, steadying the half-elf as he climbed out of the hole. Llewellyn was hanging uncomfortably on Gerrit's back, arms looped around the other man's neck. They'd tried to find a more dignified way to get him out of the dungeon, but he couldn't manage the ladder well enough without the use of his hands. "The artifact didn't react to my detection spell," sniffed Llewellyn disdainfully, and Gerrit was quick to set him down before that sniffing could become another sneeze. He didn't want to blush in front of the others.
Blushing is very appealing to me, so everyone blushes all of the time. "There must be someone in Veigh who can help you," Gerrit said. "We'll just swing by on our way to the capitol." The city was three days out of their way, but they couldn't have Llewellyn stuck this way for the two week trip back to their patron. With his hands bound, he couldn't cast any spells that required him to gesture, and that was almost all of them. He'd effectively rendered himself completely useless in combat. Veigh had a chapter of the Mages Guild in residence, though, and if no one there could help, they might at least be able to send Llewellyn on ahead via a transportation spell.
Let's go on a short tangent about names. Usually I name my characters using Babynames.com or similar sites and I pick based on the look, sound, and meaning of the names. For this little group, things were slightly more haphazard. Llewellyn is a Welsh name meaning "leader." I just happen to like this name already, but it also has a visual beauty and difficulty to pronounce on sight that lent it well to an elf character without me having to look up specifically elven names. When I make elf characters in D&D, I tend to give them a nickname or alias that is easy to remember and pronounce so that the name isn't a hindrance while playing the game.
Gerrit's name was picked based on sound. It is similar to the Welsh name Gareth ("spear ruler"), which is on purpose, but it was altered to make it a bit more fantastical/removed. It's appropriate for a fighter in meaning but also suits his more familiar/pedestrian half-elven experience vs. that of a noble elf.
Cordes was given a short name because he is a no-nonsense human, but I chose it to resemble that of conquistador Hernan Cortes because of the "holy invasion" and "treasure hunter" associations. Remembrance is named using the PHB's suggestion that tieflings often pick "ideal" names for themselves, and she has a complicated past (like most tieflings). "I will hope there is." Llewellyn looked pale and worn, though his fine features still exuded the otherworldly beauty of the high elves. His hair was a silky black, although mostly covered by his hood, and the contrast made his silver eyes look even more curious. He fumbled for a minute at his waist before scowling heavily. "I can't get into any of my bags, of course..." "What do you need?" asked Gerrit. Remembrance had started off through the trees, humming, her bulging pack swaying with her sinuous movements. Gerrit really didn't want to let her get too far ahead, not least because she was scary good at concealing herself in the foliage and might slip the party completely. However, Cordes was with her, and Llewellyn couldn't exactly fend for himself right now. "My handkerchief..." The elf's voice had gone wavery again, and Gerrit watched as his nostrils flared. Fuck.
Oho! Here is the plot and the kink conceit. Gerrit hurriedly patted his pockets until he produced his own handkerchief, or what he bothered with when necessary. It was a large square of flannel, rough around the edges. It wasn't embroidered or monogrammed like Llewellyn's, but he figured by now the flannel was a hell of a lot cleaner, and it was soft for an irritated nose. "Here, take mine."
Characters' belongings are also a good way to contrast their situations and personalities. I don't consider handkerchiefs particularly vital to my enjoyment of this kink, but they are a useful visual and I like to describe things. Small details like this are how you can worldbuild without having to do too much extra research. Llewellyn held out his hands plus the orb for it, breath hitching, but no matter how Gerrit tried to drape the cloth, it kept slipping off of the artifact. He supposed he could try to tie it around the-
This is just so funny to me XD Llewellyn made a desperate sound and tipped his head back, exposing the long line of his throat. His breath was coming in soft pants now. And he was raising the orb reflexively. Gerrit couldn't let him whack himself in the face again, so he did the only other thing he could think of. With one hand he reached out and took Llewellyn by the shoulder. With the other, he lifted the handkerchief and pressed it over the elf's nose. His fingers settled firmly on either side of Llewellyn's nostrils, and none too soon. After another half-hitch, Llewellyn ducked forward again with a quiet but insistent sneeze. "Happtsch!
One of the most pleasing sneeze sounds, tbh. Gerrit was sure he was beet red. “Bless you,” he mumbled. Through the cloth, Llewelyn’s nose felt hot, and any gentle pressure resulted in a bit of a squish. “Let me just…” "Whh- wait-" Llewellyn leaned into the handkerchief. "I'm nh- I'm not done hhH-" His eyes slipped shut and he gasped again. Gerrit swallowed and tried to ignore the tenting of his breeches. "R-roger that." He could feel Llewellyn's nostrils twitching against his fingers. "Hh...Haah- Hapttschuh! Snrk... Aptschiu!" His body rocked, and he took a half-step forward. Gerrit could hear the thick sound of congestion in the elf's nose as he tried to stave off another sneeze.
The desperation, talking through the sneezing, and congestion are all vital parts of this scenario. Unavoidable embarrassment + disgust factor + need for caretaking/mitigation. "Blow your nose," he said. "It will help." Llewellyn hesitated, but in the end, he had to comply. There was nowhere for the mucus to go except out. He started to blow with a gurgle.
I used to be really against mess, but the taboo/disgust part of the brain turns off psychologically a LOT during arousal and now I really do not find snz interesting without it. Snz without mess isn't embarrassing enough or visually exciting. Gerrit moved the hand from his shoulder to start rubbing Llewellyn's back. The handkerchief and his fingers were rapidly growing damp, but he really didn't mind. "There you go." He held the handkerchief to Llewellyn's nose until the elf moved back on his own. His nose was red and tender looking, and his cheeks were flushed rosy. He didn't seem to want to meet Gerrit's eyes. Gerrit didn't mention it. He didn't really want to look at Llewellyn either right now. It had been a while since the elf had looked so very fuckable.
Potentially due to my propensity to write fanfic about established ships, all of my OCs apparently have a history or mutual attraction out of the gate. On one hand, it's difficult just mechanically to write a scenario about a romantic or sexual encounter without there being chemistry and an excuse for them to already want to rub bits (obviously), especially in short stories, but I also cannot stand the thin veneer of situational causality that underlies porn (to borrow from Cards Against Humanity). If I can't care about my characters' lives outside of the one random fetish scenario, I can't care enough to write about them at all. He put the handkerchief in an easily-accessible outside pocket of his vest. "Ready to go?" Llewellyn coughed lightly. "Yes." "Excellent." Gerrit gestured for Llewellyn to precede him, and the two of them headed out through the trees, following the sounds of Cordes negotiating the underbrush and swearing about it. --- Travel proved easy enough once they made it to the road. They were fortunate not to meet anyone else along the way. The party could handle a group of bandits without their sorcerer, but they had their treasure to worry about, and Remembrance always drew stares, and sometimes aggression, even from normal travelers. Gerrit thought her skills more than made up for the extra negative attention they drew. And anyway, Remembrance was crazy but she wasn't evil. She did better out on the road than in town, but that was probably true of all of them. Llewellyn kept up with her pace, but it was clearly a struggle. He was usually fairly quiet, but he didn't speak at all as they walked, focusing on breathing and not devolving into coughing or more sneezing. There were a few times when Gerrit hastily reached into his pocket, at the ready, but Llewellyn fought back the itch with admirable determination. He kept his nose from running by sniffling heavily, which sounded somewhere between awful and revolting. Cordes commented on it multiple times with disgust, but nothing could be done. Llewellyn held his tongue, and Gerrit was reluctant in this case to offer the handkerchief without being asked.
Cordes is here providing the societal reaction and voice of reason lol, but there still aren't any consequences or shaming from them. I just imagine how fricking uncomfortable it would be if people acknowledged this porn scenario happening in-world and so that is never part of the story development. They found a place to camp about half an hour outside the small village of Tewks. Remembrance cleared out some brush to make a flat area for the bedrolls and then promptly decided she'd rather sleep in a tree with everything she owned. She found a good, solid oak a few yards from the camp and ensconced herself in the crux of its branches. She had a good view of the road in either direction and volunteered to take the second watch in the middle of the night, which was her favorite time. Gerrit agreed to take the first watch as Cordes started to set up his tent. The priest refused to sleep on the ground and always took an extra fifteen minutes to erect a curious one-person canvas canopy. It wasn't even large enough to sit up inside, but whatever. The priest never asked anyone else to haul it along, so Gerrit wouldn't complain.
Remembrance and Cordes are thus handwaved away from the sexual center of the plot and they will neither see nor hear anything they aren't invited to. These arrangements left him and Llewellyn alone together on one side of the fire, and he supposed that was preferable during the orb situation anyway. Llewellyn couldn't handle his own bedroll, help with the fire, or unpack any of their supplies. Gerrit realized he would probably have to help the elf eat, too. And... Well, when he noticed Llewellyn fidgeting uncomfortably, Gerrit took him out into a thicker copse to see to his other needs. They didn't talk about it... Llewellyn could hardly undo his own buttons, though, and it wasn't the first time Gerrit had taken over.
I am very into watersports, so it creeps in, although I don't think there's a friendly community out there for that like there is for snz, so I haven't developed any kind of presence for it. It appeals to me for pretty much all of the same reasons as described above. Maybe someday I will start writing those kinds of stories on this account as well, but I don't know if they would find an audience, so maybe not. By the time the fire was hot enough to cook over, Llewellyn had tucked himself up to sit on a tree stump, exuding an aura of furious self-reproach. Cordes took some jerky into his tiny tent with him - for some reason. Gerrit made up two bowls of pottage and sat himself on the ground at the roots of the stump. He put one bowl on the ground for himself and then held up the other. "Hungry?" "Not particularly," Llewellyn replied, voice blunted with congestion. He coughed. "But you're going to make me eat something, aren't you." "I'd prefer you do it willingly." Gerrit tapped the spoon on the side of the bowl. "Come on. It's hot. You'll feel better." Llewellyn growled in a manner more suited to orcs than elves. "I feel like an invalid." Gerrit sighed. "Well, if it makes you feel better, we can pretend you lost your arms in an owlbear attack very tragically." He could feel Llewellyn's fiery glare on him and smiled a little. "Look, we've all done stupid things while adventuring. I'm sure you remember when I tripped and knocked myself out on that knight's shield during the tournament." "I remember," replied the elf, begrudgingly. "Besides, you're sick on top of the whole orb thing. Maybe your detection spell wasn't sensitive enough. Maybe the thing's not even cursed! Maybe it's supposed to do this, and we just don't know why." "I have a hard time believing that. What possible purpose could this serve?"
Porn! Gerrit shrugged. "Don't ask me. Dad says my mother was a druid, but I haven't got a magical bone in my body." He tilted his head. "We could always try smashing it?" Llewellyn's rejection was forceful. "Do you want to explode?!" Gerrit chuckled. "Not really." Llewellyn sighed. Gerrit held out a spoonful of pottage. Feeding both Llewellyn and himself was a bit difficult, but Gerrit did well enough when he could alternate. It would be better if he could use both hands equally like Cordes, but he couldn't, and so he didn't. He just thought about it wistfully as he worked. Llewellyn ended up eating most of his bowl, then went back to sitting quietly and sniffling. Gerrit finished the rest and put the utensils aside to deal with later. And... Even though Llewellyn hadn't asked, he drew out his handkerchief again.
More caretaking, more intimacy. Gerrit is a kind and loving person even though he's a fighter by trade. "Hey," he began, trying not to sound awkward. "You wanna blow your nose?" No one else was paying attention and Llewellyn didn't need to inhale any more of that crap. The elf gave him a shitty side-eye. "Come on," said Gerrit. "Don't be like this." He patted the ground in front of him encouragingly as if Llewellyn was a recalcitrant cat. "I'm fine," said Llewellyn, and then betrayed himself with a quick breath. "Hah--" "Come on," Gerrit repeated, "before you make a mess."
He is also pretty comfortable talking about a lot of things that people with the fetish have generally admitted difficulty acknowledging. This is because even though he's the one with the fetish in this, he is also the "Padgett" character and practical and not caught up in the anxiety prison. Llewellyn came down off the stump to sit in front of him, legs tucked underneath, and rested the orb on Gerrit's thigh to balance himself. His eyes were pinched with reluctance, but Gerrit could see that the elf's nostrils were already damp. "Hah- hh- hurry," Llewellyn gasped.
People should sit in each other's laps. It's good. Again, Gerrit reached out with the handkerchief, enfolding his companion's nose. He could feel Llewellyn's breath fluttering against his hand through the fabric and hear quite clearly how it kept catching on congestion. "Hah-hngk- Hahgkttscht!" Llewellyn ducked forward with the force of it and Gerrit steadied him with a hand on his hip. "Ngkttsch! Hnggktxch!!"
The sneezes now involve nasal consonants because of congestion. Sometimes people tend to have a certain way their sneezes always sound, and I try to maintain that, but these details are important to show a change in the severity of the cold (and evidence of sniffling for hours). Gerrit bit his lip sharply to keep from saying anything, but his body was singing with arousal. Llewellyn hiccupped a short gasp and Gerrit pulled the handkerchief away to present a clean corner. The current spot had become soaked and silvery. "Bless," he managed after a moment, and he carefully readjusted the cloth. "Are you going to sneeze again?"
Hiccupping is also sexy and cute. Also I spelled that wrong in the original, gdi... Llewellyn nodded, eyes teary with the effort of the first bunch. Gerrit wasn't surprised; the elf had been holding back since they left the dungeon. He couldn't imagine it had been comfortable, but Llewellyn had his pride. He never would let Gerrit give him love bites either. Annnd Gerrit was going to have to stop thinking about that. "Haptsch!" Easier said than done. Really. But Llewellyn's comfort came first.
Voyeur with a heart of gold. "Hahkptsch!" The sorcerer groaned softly. "Hah- hh- Hgnaptscxhx!" Gerrit did his best to assist Llewellyn through the fit. He kept the handkerchief secure, moving it when necessary to keep it dry enough. He steadied the elf when the sneezes bent his body or when he felt faint from lack of breath. He even massaged Llewellyn's nose for him when he was trying to blow it and the congestion was stubbornly refusing to move. By the time he felt finished enough to lean back, Llewellyn was flushed and light-headed, swaying where he sat. Gerrit was sweating and needed a towel. "........Thanks," murmured Llewellyn, eventually.
Sometimes kink authors tend to just write out like twenty sneezes in a row and I hate that, honestly. (No shade - I don't even have an example in mind because I don't read a lot of stories anymore and everyone has their preferences.) I just think that the kink should support the storyline and not the other way around. The story should be enjoyable and sexy but have a narrative structure and coherent rising and falling action. Even if a fit is a sexy scenario (it is), trying to make your eyeballs power through a repetitive series of nonsense syllables is counterproductive and takes the reader out of the story and into the realm of annoyance, which disrupts arousal as well. "Yeah," said Gerrit. "Sure." He swallowed. "Let's wash up." He helped Llewellyn to his feet and they went a little way to a creek (generously; it was little more than a ditch through the woods). Gerrit gently washed Llewellyn's face, careful of his tender eyes and nose, and sent him back to camp to lay down for the night. He lingered at the water's edge to wash the handkerchief and, well, to take other matters in hand.
If ya know what I mean. Llewellyn was completely out when he returned, and Gerrit was grateful. He smoothed the elf's bangs back and then settled beside the fire to take watch. The woods in the dark were full of the sounds of insects and small animals moving in the undergrowth. And Llewellyn snoring and sniffling in his sleep. Safe sounds. Gerrit rested his chin on his hand and looked toward the road. Damn orb. It was going to be a long way to Veigh.
And this was getting long, so this is where I cut it to make part 2, which I will also commentate in a bit (hopefully after a nap =___=). Thanks!
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vohalika · 5 years
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hello, this is random but.. could u please tell me some of your fav things about vex? i don't often see people who Really Like Vex and we need more of that
Well, well, well, anon.
I have literally no idea how long it has been since you asked this of me, but rest assured I have not forgotten! Well, okay, I had for a while, then I saw it again and was like “oh, right, huh… And would you look at that, I’m about 100 posts away from 100,000… Wouldn’t that be a good one…”
So. Here we are! An unstructured rambling of all the reasons I really, really love Vex, somewhere between superficial and embarrasingly personal, to celebrate this arbitrary number of things I have spread around on this hell site.
Okay, first of all, the only thing Laura had to say to Kit Buss for the official art was “make her hot”. That is a Statement. And boy did Kit and also everyone deliver on that.
Like seriously. I didn’t use to be a fan of feathers in hair or white armor, but good god does she make it work.
Hey, I said this was going to be extremely superficial
Another thing I really didn’t use to like, twins. Overdone and usually poorly executed. But our girl made a Point out of being as different from her twin as she could be while at the same time being completely believable siblings.
I swear to god I’ll do my absolute best to mention Vax as little as possible. This is not about him.
Third thing I really couldn’t stand! The one, usually female, team member with a pet! Closely related to the one with the nature powers! I don’t know, these just always rubbed me the wrong way in media before, probably because I also never really cared for shows or movies about animals. Fight me.
And yet here she is, and she is not the “won’t somebody think of the children animals!” type of gal and Trinket is amazing and it still ties into her personality on a larger scale without being preachy.
I have a fourth thing. I also really don’t care for elves, ever. Everybody hates them. And then she turns around and makes me cry about the elf thing. Good god.
Yes, watching the first episode way back when was an uphill battle. There’s a reason I started with episode 69 and then watched the rest.
Nice.
Vex has the best worst sense of humor. No, really. I’m not even talking about that time she made a comment about the boy with the shot off fingers not having much of a future as a musician. But I’m also talking about that. And that time Scanlan tried having a meaningful monologue about having a daughter now. “I’ve defined most of my life by the people I slept with, and now…” - “Well, technically, this is still kinda defined by that.”
(Shoutout to Percy “I was just thinking that”)
Also, “We don’t do anything with dignity”, “I only serve gods with big dicks”, “You might live forever, but you will still be fucking ugly”? Girl is iconic, even if her sense if humor is usually pretty inappropriate for the given situation, she just can’t help it. I relate.
On a related note, it is so easy to play a similar archetype and have her just be this always dignified and above the humor kind of stuck-up. It’s basically how most people would have written her (and a certain someone did). But not our girl, oh no.
Also, I recently made a post about this, but we really, really don’t talk enough about how she’s just the leader of the party. She is. No, really, lower your bitch sticks, y’all. She’s the one to talk to the most NPCs, she’s the one to usually say go, and everyone just naturally adheres to her. It’s never forced, it’s never an “I, as the leader” moment, and she doesn’t try to wrestle her way into the role. It’s just what happens naturally.
Which also means she’s good at stepping back and letting other people shine for a bit. But still, Vex is the reason they didn’t just flounder around like a chicken without its head after Scanlan left. Laura was late to two sessions in campaign one; the first one was already in an extended battle scene, and the other was literally spent in a bedroom in hell waitinig for Vex to tell them what to do.
This is why scholars are generally of the opinion that Vex is the only Top in VM. And also what intellectuals refer to as Big Dick Energy.
Let’s talk about what the assholes call Greed. Yes, Vex is, out of all of them, the most pre-occupied with gold and loot. But she NEVER hoards anything for herself, never spends any of her own gold on herself even until the timeskip, leave alone the party funds.
She looks out for the interests of the group, makes sure they get the best possible deals and are paid what they are owed. And she’s the only one to ever worry about money, too, whereas everyone else never bothers to think about it. Hence why her and Vax split the cost of paying their staff after the party spent all the funds early on.
Look, I find her worries very indicative of growing up in poverty with her mom, than surrounded by rich and important people but locked out of the loop, and then poor and on the road again with Vax. I find it very relatable, and everyone who claims that looking out for the financial well-being of the party is “greedy” is lucky enough to never have had to worry about eating next month while also making rent.
There’s Safety In A Fist Full Of Diamonds, okay?
No really I need y’all to read that and send it to the annoying bitches who complain.
Vex is literally never stingy when it comes to helping people with the money she made sure they have. Remember how she didn’t even flinch at spending a five digit number to free angel boy slaves?
WHICH LEADS ME TO ANOTHER POINT. Vex. Vex has a serious hoarding problem. But not when it comes to money of earthly possessions. No. When it comes to PICKING UP STRAYS.
It’s how she got Trinket.
It’s how she got the angel babies.
It’s what she tries to do with the grey render baby.
It’s what she suggested they do with the dragon eggs in the Raishan fight
(LET! VEX! HAVE! PET! DRAGONS!)
IT HOW SHE GOT HER OWN GODDAMN HUSBAND OKAY.
I have no idea how she hasn’t adopted her own zoo by the time VM forms. Though I can totally see her opening orphanages in Whitestone, both for people and animals and creatures of all kinds, really.
Remember when she was the only one to protest the punching of a spectral ghost cow?
The hardships of her youth made her, yes, very afraid of being out of money, but also made her compassionate as fuck. She’s always down with helping people even if there’s little to no coin in it, okay? Stop overlooking that, assholes.
SPEAKING OF COMPASSION. Remember what her original beef with the Vasselheim potion seller was? That he took advantage of Grog being intellectually challenged. Which is what he did! Blatantly so! And he wasn’t the least bit sorry about it!
I mean, I bet he is by now, but, you know. Karma.
When Laura says Vex just wanted justice and then everyone else escalated that scene she is goddamn right, rewatch your own footage Matthew.
Oh god do I have to talk about broomgate now. I don’t want to talk about broomgate.
OKAY
Broomgate is literally the only time in the entire series that Vex ever takes something for herself. Was it the morally right thing to do? Maybe not. Though to keep in mind that a) Hardwick is a piece of shit, b) they literally met Gern when he had the skeletons of Kiki’s dead civilization dancing for him; Vax shanked Nothics for less, c) and this was hot off the heels of fighting a necromancer in the last big arc, too, d) they were on a mission to kill dragons. That fly. With no method of flying for the majority of the party. Vex always intended to use the broom for that purpose, so you could make the legal argument of commandeering it instead of stealing, and, finally, e) SHE HAD JUST FUCKING DIED
Why do we never talk about that
Other characters get cut all the slack for what they do after just dying
Other characters get cut all the slack when they steal from other guests
Other characters get cut all the slack when they withhold loot for the party
Other characters DIDN’T GET AN ALIGNMENT DROP FOR DOING WORSE SHIT THAN THIS
WHY ARE WE STILL TALKING ABOUT BROOMGATE
WHY WAS BROOMGATE EVER EVEN A THING
okay
okay
MOVING ON
Hey, while we’re at dying. Remember how Vex spent the day after she, literally, died, trying to make sure the person who was to blame for her death was okay? She did that. And Percy was uncomfortable with it, visibly so, but also too guilty to call her out here.
And no one. NO ONE. EVER. Bothered to check in on how she felt after dying.
Vax made it all about the sacrifice he made, Percy felt too guilty, NO ONE ELSE CARED.
And what does she do? Soldier on. Try and cheer Vax up and support him in any way she can.
Honestly, learning the Raven Queen book by heart and then telling him that being the champion of a god is really fucking cool? Relatable. Relatable as fuck. You go girl.
And TO THIS DAY. ACROSS TWO CAMPAIGNS. Vex has been the only one. THE ONLY ONE. To EVER check up on someone after they died. Jester might eventually be the second one, but, you know. I am a big advocate for post-death and just post-big-battle-in-general aftercare cuddle piles or whatever. Someone tell the cast to implement that immediately.
And while we’re at death, let’s talk about THE DARKNESS
There are dark facets to her character. Vex never makes her own issues everyone else’s problem and they go largely unadressed, but they’re there.
Saundor brought up the story about how she got Trinket and had to kill for the first time while doing so.
(Sidenote: Saundor doing more research into her character than an actual writer is extremely telling.)
That was definitely traumatic for a young girl and I don’t mean to dismiss that, but that’s also the part I can understand Vax dismissing when they talk about it later on. They do kill a lot of people after that and this was self-defense, so hey, okay. Fine.
HOWEVER
That short story was indicative of many other things that torment Vex. Mostly her low sense of self-worth.
Like, her entire inner monologue is centered around how stupid she was for getting into this situation in the first place (= for being taken advantage of by criminals at the tender age of probably like 15), and how this would never have happened to Vax, who was away in the city to take care of them.
And we see that low sense of self-worth bleeding into Vex’s character throughout the campaign. That’s part of the reason why she spends the day after her first death making sure everyone else is okay. That’s also part of the reason she blames herself for Scanlan leaving and acts like she’s completely fine when he returns just so he’ll stay.
Honestly that short story is so insightful and explains so much about her, I don’t know how anyone could claim to have any grasp on her character without reading it.
(Also, Laura should write more, she’s talented)
Now a significant part of her self-worth issues obviously also ties back into her time at Syngorn. I can just hear people getting out their tiny violins, oh, waaah, she wasn’t one of the rich, cool kids in elf school, poor her.
But that’s not entirely it?
Like, just that is already plenty to fuck a person up. I’ve been there, too.
But let’s just say the fact that her dad was also cold towards them and acted like they were unworthy is a BIG part of what fucked her up. Call it daddy issues if you feel like being dismissive about a genuinely traumatizing upbringing, but that’s how it is.
And don’t get me wrong, if this were the traumatic childhood olympics, it’s not exactly up there and relatively tame for the background of a character in a fantasy story, but it is very true to life and extremely relatable, and Laura just executes it so well. So, so well.
That’s part of what makes the entire stretch of Feywild episodes so great. From what we see of Vax’s reaction later on, Percy is the only person she ever talked to about this - or at least the only one who ever listened - and he immediately got it. And instead of yelling at her about how amazing she is, he did something to make her feel better about herself. Without making it about himself, by the way.
I enjoy a fake married plotline as much as the next gal, but Percy giving her a title she’d have to earn by her own merits is soooo much more meaningful than just putting a fake ring on her, okay?
Yes, at the end of the day, this is basically a Cinderella fantasy. So what? No, really. One of the best things about Vex and her arc is that it validates feeling upset about not measuring up in superficial, material ways. And it validates getting your come-uppance. These are, as mentioned above, experiences that can really mess with a person, but we’re usually supposed to be above it all because money and titles don’t make you happy.
Also something only people who never struggled financially can say/believe unironically and without specifying.
Hell, that’s about 70% of the reason I’m considering getting a Ph.D. if I happen to get the grades.
I’m also not a big fan of the term daddy issues, but I can’t deny that this is a thing here
not the thing they went into the Feywild for, buuuut
ahem
So. Remember when Laura said during the campaign wrap up that Vex thought of Scanlan as a father figure and everyone was like whaaaaat? And I was like ahahahaha, I knew it.
This is so tragic, really. Because she tried so hard so many times to help Scanlan and be nice to him and he just brushed her off. And then she’s the one who volunteers to spend the night all by herself in some dirty pub far, far away after opening up to his daughter about her own issues to bring him back alive, and then gets yelled at, and never apologized to.
And then he comes back and tries to erase her memory and not only is that never even brought up, she also just doesn’t even think she might be owed an apology because a) she still blames herself for him leaving because, you know, they never really talked out what happened there and b) she’s just too happy for at least that father figure returning to them to make much of a fuss about it, and Percy, bless his heart, TRIES, but it’ll take a few more years of marriage to talk through all of her issues
And like. I am not wild about anything that happens after episode 99. If I’m known for anything in this fandom on this platform it’s probably for that time I was really into the Ioun discourse, which I still stand by, btw. And I personally would have preferred for Vex to maybe get someone like Sehanine as her patron, as fitting as giving her yet another unworthy and disapproving father figure in her life might be
But there is also something somewhat gratifying about everyone talking about how great she is. And she had been sort of working for Pelor before that. Also, the headcanons about her having sun spots or starting to glow when she gets emotional after this are amazing.
So I made my peace with that. She deserves better, but hey, she always does.
She is so smart. So extremely smart. People roll their eyes at her battle plans and say it’s all Travis feeding Laura information, but Travis fed her nothing that time she schmoozed up to the Briarwoods while also making herself appear extremely superficial and unthreatening. Honestly. That dinner scene? Prime Vex. Amazing Vex.
Her battle plans are also so good. Pokeball-ing Grog out of the kill box? Using the Goristro against Vorugal to save the party a trip into the abyss? The only plan of Vox Machina that ever worked out basically perfectly? Amazing. And even IF Travis told Laura these ideas, that means literally nothing in relation to how smart Vex is.
And btw I don’t believe that for a second. People just aren’t good with acknowledging that sometimes, D&D playing women might actually have good ideas.
And she just is so street smart. With her skills, her battle plans, and just her way of handling people. There’s a reason she is the natural leader when it’s not someone’s turn in the spotlight at the time.
Like, the two things holding her back were that her class was extremely underwhelming, so much so that it got completely revamped in the Unearthed Arcana to make up for how bad it was in the PHB, and the fact that she just. Has, what. 1.5 episodes of her own storyline? Even Pike got 2. It’s amazing that I can even say this much about her with how little narrative focus she got throughout the series. And most of what she did was literally due to Percy using his plot clout and putting a foot in the door to force her into the spotlight.
Speaking of which. Percy’s best quality, next to being self-aware of how fucked up he is and actively trying to do better and be kept in check, is how he realizes Vex is the coolest, smartest, most amazing person around and treats her accordingly. The way she deserves to be treated.
Oh hey I mentioned to get this far without even mentioning the romance arc. And oh my god THE ROMANCE ARC. The pining. The slow burn. And the fact that we actually saw them together and later married for like 35 episodes. They were so good for each other.
And yes, PERCY WAS GOOD FOR HER. And Vex was not his therapist and manic pixie dream girl. None of that bullshit here. Percy was already firmly on the path to being better before he even considered that crush he has had on her for forever to turn into something more.
And by he was good for her I mean that he actually UNDERSTOOD her and where she was coming from. Refer again to the titling issue, where Vax is just confused and kind of pissed, Percy got it. And that’s important.
Something I have not made a post about so far, by the way, is also something people have called problematic and co-dependant is how Percy shares his darker impulses with Vex in hopes she’ll talk him out of it. Which she does, and it’s never hard, but that also means so much to her? Because he involves her and tells her exactly what is going on with him and values her opinion? And that is just exactly what she needs? And they’re so good? THEY’RE SO GOOD.
WHEN DOES YOUR OTP EVER
HE COULDN’T HAVE ASKED FOR A BETTER DREAM
This is more on Laura, admittedly, but also, it was just so great to see her unapologetically pursuing this romance? There’s a place at the table for a 72 episode slow burn, and she’s gonna go for it, and there’s nothing any of the dudebros who are just here for the fighting can do about it.
And also Vex is just so unapologetically sexual at the same time. From episode 1 onwards, really, and in general and just limited to Percy. And no one ever treats that as weird or bad or anything. It’s just who she is and that’s great.
And she fought. So hard. For that happy ending of hers. Kicking and screaming, against the world and against Taliesin’s determination that Percy is irredeemable and not capable of getting a happy ending. Defy that auctorial intent, my girl. You deserve it.
Seriously. Seeing her get that happy ending against all odds was unfathomably gratifying and validating and I’ve never connected to any single character or narrative at large for that matter this much and this intimately, and considering how I came across this story at one of the darkest times in my life, I probably never will feel so strongly connected to anything ever again.
Which is probably for the best, but hey. 
Aaaand there you go. An almost unstructured, epically long list of reasons I love Vex. Dammit, I talked about other characters way more than I intended, buuuut hey. That’s how it goes when you’ve got an ensemble piece, they’re all kinda interwoven.
Thank you this wonderful ask, anon, and reason to celebrate my 100,000th post on this site in style.
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sharksfood · 5 years
Text
I saw Onward last week with my friend who is an avid LARPer and fellow lover of all things fantasy, so it was a perfect movie for the two of us. in general I adored it! I’ll probably see it again if i have the time and of course, i’m getting it on BluRay. i would also LOVE to snag the art book since the character design for this film was probably my favorite part.
[some spoilers]
my biggest complaint (and its not a complaint, just a negative i guess) is that Onward didnt feel like a Pixar movie to me, both in the story and animation. the animation style wasnt as interesting as some of the Pixar movies in the past (though thats been kinda up or down for a while), and it didnt feel as fresh or mind-blowing. to me it fit in better with the regular Disney animated features, not Pixar. Especially in comparison to Toy Story 4, albeit theyre very different styles, something about it didn’t pop for me like most Pixar movies do. The story was a little bland with Pixar in mind, though i did love it! i just always think of Pixar as the studio that gives stories and feelings to things we usually don’t expect. And Onward i guess was so similar to real life that it didn’t feel that way. Maybe if they had pushed the fantasy-realism even more, or changed some modern things to fit with these creatures more (they did do this but i think they didn’t push it far enough), that would have sold me.
and i’m not gonna talk about it at length, but the whole “Disney making a big deal about their ‘first’ LGBT character and acting so high and mighty about it” did dull the magic for me. considering the police officer was in two scenes, plus she didn’t have ANY characterization beyond being a cop and having a gf with a kid, it really did not live up to Disney’s hype. i’m not saying she wasn’t “gay enough” or whatever, but had they not brought it up beforehand or made any “hype” about her, i would have liked her a lot more. To compare this to Paranorman (not everyone agrees its good rep) Mitch being gay wasn’t something for LAIKA to brag about. Had Disney followed suit, their “first” gay character wouldn’t have become a meme.
Okay, so for the good stuff, I am a huge sucker for sibling bonding and especially HEALING in fiction. it gets to me more between sisters, but still. Ian and Barley like each other and get along well, but they still have their problems and doubts. The fact that they grew into their own and with each other is beautiful, especially the fact that Ian now sees Barley as a father figure AND a brother. That is an element i haven’t seen before, let alone done this well. I also really appreciated the tension between them in that Ian thought Barley was a screw up, that he thought less than great about his actions and choices. This sort of thing isn’t explored in media enough, and I’d love to see more. I believe most people don’t consider that our siblings’ opinions do matter to us as much as our parents’.
Again, I LOVE the character designs in this film. Everyone looks unique and distinct while still having key traits for each species. I love these designs way more that those in Monsters U, which felt kinda cut-and-paste with the monsters. I loved how you could tell that even within the elves they were still different races (or at least coded) with hair, facial features, and skin tone, all the while still blue! They did this with other creatures too, like how Corey is black while also being a Manticore bcs of her hair texture (and of course the incredible voice of Octavia Spencer). And you know what diversity Disney added and made not a peep about? One of Ian’s school friends walks with crutches! I can’t say what his affliction is, but its wonderful to see some inclusion to disabled folks.
My favorite characters were Barley and Corey. Barley was just so incredibly well rounded, like he was perfectly imperfect. I could go on and on honestly. Corey on the other hand was just plain AWESOME! Her little personality crisis felt kind of rushed to me, but to me it fit as an allegory for the whole film; she is a magical and powerful creature who let herself become weighed down by modern society and lost her moxie. I also love that Corey and the boy’s mom, Laurel, became friends (but i wouldve died to see them as a couple). I really want to know more about Manticores in this universe, since she seemed like the only one, and also might be immortal?
What initially drew me to this movie was seeing a centaur character in the original trailer, as trivial as that sounds its true. I love centaurs so much, and they hold a special place in my life for many reasons. I was a bit dissapointed in that there was only two centaurs prominently shown in Onward; Colt and the gal playing DDR (which was adorable). In the trailer there was one more, but not in the film. I did really like Colt, and he’s growing on me more. But one thing that has not left my mind is why to the centaurs and satyrs not wear pants?! everyone else does!! its probably bcs Pixar wanted the audience to clearly read them as centaurs/satyrs so pants would cover their cool legs, but still.... Do they just have a different level of decency than others? I have to know. But I love that the centaurs have horse ears instead of human ones <3
Lastly, and this isn’t good or bad, but I just didn’t resonate with Ian and Barley bringing back their dad. I mean, it was very emotional and a great drive to the story, but since I still have my parents I guess I just couldn’t connect to it. I liked how they were able to characterize the boy’s dad with just legs, that was adorable and a huge feat for animation!
Some little things I want to mention: the final boss dragon was SO COOL, it reminded me of the giant Ralph at the end of Ralph Breaks the Internet how it was made out of pieces, Ian was accurately scared to drive for the first time and i FELT THAT, Barley went the entire movie with a broken arm/wrist and took every swing like a champ! that boy is so chaotic i love him. ALSO it was so cool how Ian and Barley had each bits and pieces of their parents looks! like Ian had his dad’s face and body but his mom’s eyes, etc. Love that choice family design
All in all, a dazzling and wonderful movie with great characters and a cool story/theme, just not what I would expect from Pixar.
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clouds-of-wings · 5 years
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I wrote this like 3 weeks ago and actually got over it since but @tardigradedeathposture wanted to read it, so here’s the lightly edited rant.
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I was going to not write about how crap I thought the Witcher TV show was but it keeps bugging me and whatever here’s my rant.
So as my followers might know, I played the games (yes even the first) and mostly liked them, especially the second, which I think is a great game and actually better than the third, which I still enjoyed. The first, well, had its moments. I’ve read the first book about 5 years ago after playing the second game for the second time but couldn’t really get into it, I watched the old Polish TV adaptation and found it sort of quaint but nothing special. So of course I was skeptical of the prospect of a TV show but also sort of interested.
Well good things first. I thought Henry Cavill played Geralt pretty well actually. People hated him when he was first introduced but I think most were won over by his performance. He isn’t quite like the Geralt I know, but that might be due to the script. Second good thing, Jaskier isn’t quite as incredibly annoying as he is in the games, though still annoying. But at least he isn’t a pimp here. Third good thing, Chireadan, because Elves <3
But apart from these aspects, I think I haven’t watched such a stupid show since Once upon a time (which was so terrible that it caused my gallbladder to ache non-stop, so I had to stop after the first half of season 1. Witcher didn’t do that, so I guess it wasn’t quite as bad as OUAT). I know the series follows the story laid out in the books, and actually my problem isn’t even what happens, but how it’s presented, in that story and characterization manage to be tepid and tropey and also illogical and self-contradictory.
Take Yennefer for example, because her character annoyed me the most.
Now I’m not a fan of her in the third game either but at least she has a consistent (terrible) personality and a will of her own there. I read that she’s a better character in the books, so okay. Maybe they butchered her on the show. I honestly don’t remember the book I read very well anymore, as I said, I couldn’t get into it.
She is explicitly said and shown to do very badly during her mage training and to be bad at court politics, she’s barely even shown doing magic before the last episode, but she gets to “ascend”, whatever that means, while the other (far more deserving?) students get turned into eels. Later her teacher says she was the best student she’d ever had (?? when? where?) and gives her trust and responsibility for zero reason and Yennefer goes on to save the day, sort of.
She gets, in one of the most unrealistic scenes on the show, cosmetic surgery that involves an extensive spinal operation and the removal of her uterus WITHOUT NARCOTICS and half an hour later she wows everyone at the prom ball. IIRC, in the books and the games the sorceresses and sorcerers alter their appearance using, uh, magic instead of having some guy rip out their spine. And the sorceresses explicitly make themselves beautiful because “that’s what their clients expect”, just like the sorcerers make themselves appear as “venerable” old men - because it’s the pre-conception their clients have. It’s subversive, John-Karen, because the mages somewhat cynically show themselves to be genre-savvy by exploiting the... why am I explaining this. It’s obvious to everyone except the idiots who wrote the show. The point is, it’s not about their personal empowerment, but they could have done something with Yennefer’s “ugly to beautiful” transformation and they didn’t, so that sucks too.
From the whole way she’s presented, it becomes clear that she would be a terrible mother (”happy childhoods make for boring conversation”), yet we’re supposed to feel sympathy for her quest for fertility. And she’s constantly bitter about her lack of it - when the surgeon told her very clearly that she’d be losing her fertility as a side-effect of the operation and she explicitly agreed to it. This wasn’t something that was forced upon her yet she acts like it was.
Just like in the game, she has zero concern for other people’s wishes or boundaries. I mean she cast magic upon a bunch of people and made them sexually assault each other, and the show just frames it as “sexy lady hosts an orgy”. Then she accuses Geralt of not paying attention to other people’s boundaries because he made a wish she doesn’t even know the specifics of (lol).
Yennefer is a pretty terrible person, which would be fine in terms of character, if she were actually presented as terrible. Yennefer actually has pretty exactly the personality of Cersei Lannister, but Cersei was intentionally portrayed as vicious, power-hungry, dishonest and irrational. We weren’t supposed to see her as a good person and that made her a great character. Watching Cersei was fun and interesting. Watching Yennefer is grating because in any sane universe, a woman like that would not be the hero. That’s also why I think it’s absolutely false to call TW “the new GoT”. TW is worse than even late seasons GoT.
However, the show loves her so much that it randomly gives her super-powers whenever it suits. In the fight in front of the dragon cave, she’s as good with a sword as Geralt, even though she has no training and no muscles and he’s literally been mutated to become a better fighter. In the last episode, she easily deters the attack by Nilfgaard and then destroys their camp (??) with magic when up until then she was only ever shown to be very bad at magic. (Unleash *~the chaos inside you~* god who wrote that script?)
But in the end, almost her whole story is determined by the effect she has on men. Despite all her qualities that we’re supposed to blindly believe she has, it’s her looks and the fact that some men like her constant pointless insults that determines what happens to her. The archeologist guy in the beginning is the only one who stops her from totally failing at mage training. The king she wows with her good looks and her early 21st century dress becomes her employer. Geralt and the Elf guy falling for her. The knight guy she manipulates into going to dragon mountain with her. Her only skill that she is somewhat consistently proven to actually possess is the ability to charm and seduce men with her beauty and her sparkling personality.
Unfortunately, this characterization is somewhat common among “strong female characters”. All the important female characters on American Gods are that way as well. Wonder Woman is (in the film, I haven’t read the comics) close to it as well. Random pointless superpowers, but her story is actually determines by everyone being head over heels for her because she’s pretty. I don’t really know why this counts as “feminist”, but for the media industry apparently it does. I think it’s rather the opposite.
But, god, Yennefer wasn’t the only terrible character. I also hated the way they portrayed what were apparently supposed to be Scoia’tael adjacent Elves in the first episode. Can you imagine Iorveth or Yaevinn make common cause with those planless caricatures? I absolutely love the clearheadedness and ruthlessness of the Scoia’tael in the games. They rebel against human oppression with the decisiveness of people with nothing left to lose. The Elves are portrayed as a mentally somewhat superior race who see themselves as the rightful owners of the land and are absolutely furious at humans using brute force to disinherit them. I love the absolute lack of moral high ground and of “virtuous victimhood”. I love the elitism turned to bitterness. I love the way they frame things like telling Elvish legends as acts of resistance (which is something that has plenty of real-life parallels). I love (since it’s fictional and all) the vicious treatment of human civilians, since, you know, from the Elves’ perspectives there are no civilians among the humans. In the games, you’re clearly made to understand that both the Scoia’tael and their opponents have committed terrible acts, and then, because this is war, you’re expected to pick a side anyway. Which was both easy and fun for me as a huge Elf stan in general, but I love that it’s not supposed to be an easy choice.
So I’m just talking about a short scene in the first or second episode, because that was the only time we see Elves who have Elf-specific problems, but I just hated that scene, because it steps into exactly the tropes that the games avoided. They complain, act irrationally and are portrayed as helpless, morally pure victims who won’t actually do anything that will do more than just slightly inconvenience humans. Toothless! Exactly as Hollywood would like oppressed peoples to be, righteous in their suffering, maybe stealing some bread but that’s all they will do.
Another thing that really bothered me was how unpolished it was. Hahaha! Terrible pun alert. They took everything Polish out of the story, see what I did there? I would have loved to see those houses with the flowers painted on them for example that are based on a real Polish village. What we got was just a bland Medieval(TM) world that could be anywhere and had no discernible features. It also obliterated the charm of the costume design. I found myself longing even for King Henselt’s unbelievably stupid belt because at least it had some character. And the weird and awesome creature design as well. None of it was on the show. Can you imagine that in a million years creatures like the three Crones from TW3 would show up on the show? Of course not, because a female character who won’t give the viewer a boner is obviously not worth showing.
And I don’t even understand how they managed to include Geralt being aware of his outsider status and thinking about it and to somehow make it boring anyway. But I’m really tired of writing and thinking about this now, so this is the end of my rant about like... half the things that annoyed me about the show.
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soundofseventeen · 5 years
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Ice Cream (Lee Chan)
Hello! Quick Dino post today! (I’m sorry it’s not that great I’m between jobs right now and wanted to post something I’m sorry)
Hi, Erin’s been really busy and lowkey stressed with work and her vacation planning so she let add on to this so I hope it’s okay with y’all!! i may have added a few extra prompts. Okay, back to my stuff!! Enjoy!!! -Bee
Requested
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You used to be extremely close to your older brother. You and Chan did almost everything together, and he took his job as your big brother extremely. If someone teased you at school, he always backed you up, then took you for ice cream to make you feel better. Even when he wanted to hang out with his own friends, he’d still let you tag along, keeping an eye on you so you didn’t get lost. He was your best friend for most of your childhood. 
As you got older, you kept that closeness, but still had to grow apart a bit. Started to make your own friends, have your own lives, do your own things. He still tried to keep an eye on you though, just to make sure that you were doing okay. If he felt like something was wrong, he’d randomly toss your shoes at you and tell you to follow him. He’d take you for ice cream again, just to see if you’d talk to him about it or even just smile a little bit. 
Things started to change when he went to be a trainee. At first it was extremely difficult, not seeing him every day, not being able to talk to him or hang out with him. You missed him so much. Part of you worried that this would all be for nothing, and he would never debut and come home heartbroken. But, you knew better. 
You were a proud sibling when he debuted, showing everyone you could your big brother and his group. You admired him so much and everything he was able to accomplish and wanted the rest of the world to see him like you did. 
Of course, as time went on, he kept working with his group, and you kept living your life from home. While his schedule got crazier, it got so much harder to be in contact with him. He’d still send you updates, especially from tour. You always got excited when he would send you things on tour, knowing it was some cool or bazaar photo of him or one of his members. 
You tried to visit him a lot, but it was difficult to find good days for it. Between your two schedules, it rarely seemed to work out. But it always made you smile when it worked out. You’d get to hear dumb stories about him from his members (who all adopted you as their little sibling as well), and even had them all try to teach your their dances (and laughed when you failed). 
While you tried to make these visits, it only became harder still to see him. His free time seemed to always be filled with something he could do for his group or his career. You couldn’t blame him, this was his dream and you knew he had to go for it. You were usually able to let things go, knowing that he never wanted to miss things or forget things, it just happened. 
The first time it really hurt was when he missed your birthday. You had spent the day celebrating with your friends and parents, but you still found yourself checking your phone all day for that message from him. Some years he sent a video just from himself, some years with some members screaming in the back, sometimes he actually called you. But this year... Nothing. You didn’t want to ask him about it, but you also wanted to hear from him. 
Your parents were confused when you went to bed upset, not wanting to make them feel like they didn’t celebrate your day enough. You knew Chan was busy, but he always, always remembered your birthday. 
You were even more confused when your dad knocked on your door, telling you there was someone at the door for you. Thinking it was Chan, you quickly ran to the door, heart falling when it was some random delivery dude. You took the package, walking into your kitchen. 
You were started to pout again when you looked at the box, seeing it was sent from Pledis Entertainment. Your eyes widened, knowing that was Chan’s company. You quickly opened it, pulling out a smaller box and a card. You opened the card, quickly reading. 
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
I’m so sorry I couldn’t celebrate with you today. We had an unexpected travel day today and I couldn’t find a chance to call you. I hope you did everything amazing you could today and didn’t suffer too much without your big brother. 
I just wanted you to know that I appreciate you, and miss you the most (don’t tell mom and dad). Love you. x Chan 
PS, I know you’re probably upset at not hearing from me today, so I gotta make it up somehow.
You grinned to yourself, opening the box, seeing an ice cream cone charm along with a coupon for a free cone at your local ice cream shop. You shook your head, of course he would get you ice cream. You snapped a picture of yourself that night, imagining he was there with you and it made you feel a little better.
The second time was around Christmas when he pinky promised you he’d be there at home, waiting by the tree so you could open one gift before the clock struck midnight. So you had brought all the blankets you owned and made a makeshift bed a couple of days before his flight landed and slept there every night in hopes you’d wake up to the familiar face. Christmas Eve came and with the most devastated expression you’d ever seen on a human, he apologized on the other end of the video call, explaining the latest thing that had come up and promised to make it up to you. 
“I’m trying to cheer you up,” he said when you shook your head, as if telling it’s okay. “I will fight you, and I’m not hanging up until you either smile.”
“Chan, you’re busy and I’m not gonna take up more of your time. Go, be a choreographer for your friends. I have to go to sleep now.” You had felt the energy leave your body with the bad news and all you wanted was to curl up into a ball and sleep the sadness away.
“Can you at least open my gift to you? I wanna see your reaction.”
“Chan, they’re waiting for you. I’ll open it and, stop doing that face! I’ll open it if you stop. Is it this one?” You held up a gift wrapped with little elves you saw he labelled after his members, which made you smile involuntarily. It had your name on it, so you assumed it was. You shook it, surprised by the rattling noises it made. 
“Yeah! Open it! It isn’t much, but it was the best I could do.”
 It ended up being a puzzle of a picture you had taken once upon a time where he had taken one of your toys, making you cry and him smiling evilly. (Just because he was also your best friend didn’t mean he didn’t play the his role of the older brother tormenting the younger sibling and inside the box you had found another coupon for the ice cream place. There was no explanation but you also didn’t have the heart to use it this time, so you let it expire.
The more time passed after that, the more empty promises he made, each time making it up with a coupon as if it solved everything. Sometimes you used them, but you’d only take a few licks and then throw it away. Ice cream, you realized, didn’t taste as good when it was bought under the pretense of a guilty conscience.You hated the distance, despised the consequences of Chan being an idol, resented Chan for not being here like he used to be. All you got were “I’m sorry,”s and lousy pieces of paper for ice cream and even after awhile, those stopped too which hurt more than anything. And suddenly, Iksan frustrated you and you knew you had to get out soon, so after begging your parents day and night, you snuck out and took bus by bus until you landed in Seoul City.
 It brought a strange sense of comfort to you, despite being here a handful of times. The streets were always different but it always smelled the same: fried rice and steamed vegetables mixed with smog and dog shit. It wasn’t a long trip so you weren’t exactly tired, but you needed food before you became irritated. You settled for a ramen place that you’ve been to a handful of times just because you could already taste it in your mouth.
It took a particularly long time to get food, especially with the staff running and forth with takeout plates and writing on the Styrofoam with markers what each little box contained and how it was customized but you forgot about it once someone acknowledged you and apologized for the delay, explaining that is was a common order for a big party of people, though two or three only showed up, despite it all. You smiled and shook your head, placing your own order and patiently waiting for your number to be called, thankful that yours came out relatively quickly. You watched the employees throwing whatever they found on the counter that contained the meals, packets of sauces, extra chopsticks, and the drinks. You counted 13 of them. It did seem like a coincidence, but then again small gatherings with caffeine addicts was a common practice nowadays. You texted your parents who you knew were gonna ground you when you got home, but that’d be a problem for later, and scrolled through social media, seeing the antics and lifestyles of everyone you followed. 
A moment later a little bell sounded, signaling a customer followed by a pair arguing over which brand had the better soda...in Chinese.You looked up at them curiously, eyes widening you recognized Junhui (arguing Pepsi) and Minghao (defending Coke). They broke their squabble long enough to tell the cashier they were there for an order and resume it, this time in Korean.
“Coke is a classic. Coke has been around longer than Pepsi and you can go just about anywhere to eat and they serve it.”
“Coke also has a disgusting aftertaste to it. And you can taste the cheapness of it. I figured a refined man such as yourself would know that by now.
”Minghao stared at him, debating whether to stay quiet or to fire back; he chose the latter. “Bold words coming from someone who wanted to buy a Rubik’s cube from a street vendor for the price of three.”
“That is not relevant. You know what...Y/N, please come here. Yeah, don’t think we couldn’t see you. Let me ask you this. Thank you. Have a nice day.” They waited for the shock to wear off your face and cupping the bowl in your hands, followed them out to hear Junhui’s question. “Is Coke or Pepsi better? Say Pepsi because I’m trying to prove a point here.” You slid into the backseat, Hao driving and Jun turning around to keep pestering you.
“I still say Coke.You will never go to a store that doesn’t sell it. By the way, brace yourself when we go inside Pledis. Your parents called Chan earlier and he’s been freaking out all morning. I told him not to worry because you’re smart enough to know what to do by now, but what can you do? Jun, be careful! You’re tilting the plates. Never mind, I’m calling Wonwoo. He’ll help us.”
“Beat you to it,” Junhui smiled broadly. “He’s already waiting for us outside. We just have to show up. Okay answer me Y/N! This is life or death. Your answer determines the fate of the universe.” 
You saw Mingaho staring at you in the rearview mirror. “What brought this on?”
“I wish I knew. He’s been asking everyone since we woke up. Jihoon hyung is the one who refuses to answer because he thinks it’s all the same. So I guess you’re the tie breaker.”
“It’s soda. You’re gonna drink it either way.”
“But what if you’re at a party that offers both? Which are you gonna take?”
“The first one I pull out.” Your eyes narrowed at the driver who snickered. “What’s so funny?”
“You said ‘pull out’.”
“And I’m the child.” Junhui snorted.
*
“What were you thinking?” Chan ran his hand several times through his hair, waiting for you to respond to his questions.“I got tired and wanted to do something different.”
“By running away?” He put his chopsticks down, trying to make the pieces connect in his head. “That’s not like you.”
“You left Iksan too, remember? And no one said anything about it.”
“I left because I have a job. I can’t just come and go as I please, you dummy.” He stopped, nodding slowly and letting the biggest smile you hadn’t seen he got the news he’d be debuting in Seventeen. “I get it now.”
“What?”
“You miss me, don’t you Y/N?”
“...Among other things,” you confessed after a moment. “It’s not the easiest thing to forget I had an older brother that was always there.”
“This is hard for me too. I have to constantly remind myself that Jisoo hyung is in the room next door, not you.” He remembered something that made him smile. “The other day I jumped on Jihoon hyung while he was asleep because I thought it was you. Apparently you’re not the only one who covers yourself with blankets. He locked me out until Mingyu hyung came home but I’d do it again.”
“You look like you have so much fun.”
“I do but that doesn’t mean I don’t miss you either.” He stacked his your plastic bowl on top of his takeout box, getting ready to dispose of them. “You know, if you didn’t want ice cream anymore, you could’ve just said so.”
“How’d you…”
“Dad.”
“Figures. It’s not that I was tired of it; it just seemed that they always showed up when you couldn’t and I hated that. It was never a random day when the rain was falling and watering the plants or when the sun was out, making it too hot to go outside.”
“Come on then. Let’s go have ice cream, just you and me and then I’ll take you home.”
“That’s a two hour commute though! You don’t have to do that.” “You should’ve thought of that before you came all the way here. Now let’s go. We have an overdue bonding session waiting for us.” His phone went off and he read the text message and rolled his eyes, the corner of his lip quirking up.
“What?”
“It’s just Jun hyung.”“What’d he say?”
“He wants to know if you’re team coke or pepsi.”
“Just tell him Coke.” 
You managed to hear a “Nooooooooo,” echo through the wing as you walked out, you and Chan laughing as you passed by. You hadn’t expected to see your brother today, but you were glad you did.
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Tinkaan in light of Runaan’s redemption arc
Following this post, @generalsamayas wondered about the fate of Tinkaan, should Runaan end up shifting into a whole new role in TDP during a possible redemption arc. And I have feels and ideas, so let me see if I can get any of them to settle out here.
If they’re not a couple
...then they clearly want to be, okay, this thing is basically canon. Runaan considers TInker to be precious to him, and Tinker was bawling his eyes out when he learned that something terrible had happened to Runaan.
maybe they’re not a couple yet because Tinker may love Runaan but has issues with Runaan’s stabby job (whether he’s a Moonshadow or not)
maybe there are harsher Moonshadow rules about spouses than there are for children, because children can be recruited but spouses are too old to train if they’re not already an assassin (ugh I’m fully prepared to mostly hate Moonshadow culture guys I’m sorry)
maybe Runaan has actively hidden his feelings for Tinker as a way to protect him, even though they both love each other, because the threat of his own death and breaking Tinker’s heart was too high and Runaan wouldn’t let him risk it, so it’s all just mutual pining
Runaan would go through any solitary soul-searching with more focus on himself and his needs, and less on what his situation or redemption would mean for Tinker--which is a good thing. You have to fix yourself for you, not for anyone else.
Tinker might never learn the true depth of what Runaan experienced to become his new self, and all his old dark ways may come back to haunt them both someday, leading Tinker to learn things he didn’t want to know about Runaan, which could threaten their happiness and connection
It they are currently a couple
I have a sad feeling that Runaan might not make it home for a while. Maybe not in all of S3. 
I think they might show this darkest part of Runaan’s journey, where he picks himself up and chooses to go forward, with him either literally alone or with other companions besides Tinker. They might not even be real, or they may be spirits of the dead. If Runaan has to pass through hell before he can find redemption, the first part will be the darkest, and you can’t usually mix that with soft fluff. 
So we may see the two of them in the show, but separate, joined only in flashbacks
with fluff, ideally
That would be the anchor point, though, something to move forward from as well as circle back to (how Moonshadow). If Tinker and Runaan are a couple, and they must travel separately for a while, story logic demands that they must inevitably come together again.
A separate journey will likely be packed with parallels so we can get to know them and their reactions and philosophies on issues and see where they match and where they differ, so we can judge for ourselves how well matched they are and how they’ll handle things together once they reunite
If they do reunite in S3 and get real face to face time, then everything depends on Tinker.
Whatever he advocates for, Runaan will probably do. 
Stay an assassin because that’s what you’re good at? Okay.
Join up to wage war as a regular soldier, maybe even a colonel or something, because now the humans really have it coming? Okay.
Let’s find another way, Runaan, I don’t want you seeing that dungeon in your mind on every mission you take from now on, it’s not good for the mission, and it’s not good for you? Okay.
This war is a disaster and we need to find a way to stop it ourselves, I’m taking you on a quest for peace? Okay.
We’re noping out of this show and moving to our own private island to live happily ever after, good luck with saving Xadia Rayla we love you? Okay.
If Tinker starts warmongering for personal payback, Runaan might talk him down, though. Unless Runaan suffers an alignment shift as a result of his imprisonment (and how scary would that be), he won’t be interested in personal vengeance--though Tinker might be.
the last thing I want to see is some bullshit about “change yourself so you’re worthy of your man”, a la Grease. That you’re not worthy of being loved while you’re imperfect. No one needs to see that, and yet *gestures to so, so much media mostly aimed at females*
At some point, Runaan and Tinker will connect, and Runaan will need to find his feet on his new path
what does redemption look like, and how does Tinker fit into it?
will they make amends together, or will they separate in order to accomplish more tasks faster?
Really not a fan of separating couples just so they can have their own drama with more characters, but I do appreciate when both members of a couple have mad skills and can in fact actively carry their own plot lines, so I’m of both minds there
Tinker would be Runaan’s steadying hand. Runaan knows where he needs to get to, probably, but he may wobble, and when he does, Tinker is there to make sure he doesn’t fall
it’s possible Runaan may hurt Tinker’s feelings as he heals and changes, and Tinker may do the same to Runaan, but they can get through that if they keep communicating, which is a good message to show
if Runaan ends up in another authority position, like an ambassador or head druid or moon mage or anything not martial, he may work with Tinker, but he may be brought into conflict with Tinker as well, on a political, social, or cultural level
If Runaan goes dark instead
going through hell may be all the further Runaan progresses. That would be disappointing not only because I enjoy his character, but because there is a happier and more complete arc to be used, and falling short would seem to clash with the message of the show as well as simply be poor storytelling
however, he could stay dark for most of the show and be redeemed much much later
or he could become one of the actually evil elves that the show creators said exist--and with his skill set, he’d be very good at being very evil
that thing Runaan does where he only shows his horns when he’s trying to be intimidating? He’ll do that a lot more. Maybe get some scary attachments to make it visually clear that he’s a Bad Boy now
he’ll just show up in the plot without warning and attack
you think one thing’s happening with the plot, but no, it’s an illusion concocted by Runaan through careful tactical planning
another face-off with Rayla where they’re actually trying to kill each other this time, to parallel their first face-off
Tinker never gives up hope that Runaan will soften up again, at the risk of his own life a time or two
Tinker would also choose Runaan’s side when he could justify it, confusing everyone who thought he was on their side
neither of them would ever be attracted to anyone else no matter what. they’re too well suited, no matter what gets in the way, what happens, or even what they do to each other
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The Dragon Prince Tag
I wasn’t tagged...but I saw this and I had to fill it out. I am obligated by my own laws about quiz taking to do so. Sorry. (I read from the one I got this from that it was made by @ true-neutral-earth-elf)
Rules: Answer all 25 questions to the best of your ability, then tag 5 other blogs.
#1. Which Primal Source Do you identify most with? Why?
The official quiz said Ocean, and I agree. At least for now.
Moon is a good second guess though.
#2. Elves or Humans?
Dragons. *shot* Uh...I can’t really choose right now. We’ve only seen the human side of the conflict so far. I want to see the elf side of things before I choose a side.
#3. If you had to choose, would you rather free Runaan from the coin or Aaravos from the mirror?
...I know I’m basically an Aarahoe...and it’s very obvious by the era title “Return of Aaravos” he’s going to break free...but I still don’t know if that’s a good thing or not.
But Runaan...I’ll get into my opinion on him later. I’ll just say the one reason I’d have for freeing him right now is because of Rayla. If she asked, I’d try.
#4. Best animal companion?
Oh don’t make me choose! Um, Bait is the obvious choice because he’s got the most personality. Ava’s also a good girl though...and Phoe-Phoe is a beautiful Moon Phoenix! Oh and then there’s the Aarapod/Wormavos...but if I had to choose, I guess Bait.
EDIT: Actually Berto the parrot! Best animal companion! XD
#5. Best humanoid companion?
To have as your own? Also a tough choice...since they’re all good choices. Except Fen. *shot*
#6. You can revive one character, who is it and why them?
That’s also a tough one...Sarai seems like a good choice, based on what we saw of her...but almost every death in this show is for a reason that leads to major story choices. So...probably no one.
#7. Otp?
Please note this is my opinion. Not yours. If you disagree, that’s fine, but none of my choices are meant to be controversial.
Rayllum. I don’t care if they end up canon, not to the extent I’ll meme or throw a fit or something if it does or doesn’t, but they have the best chemistry I’ve seen in a cartoon in a while.
Other pairings I like:
Amaya x Gren-This is very unlikely given the age gap...I know they’re just close friends as we’ve seen, but it seems nice as a background ship to me.
Harrow x Sarai-Do I need to explain?
Harrow x Viren-Again, I know they were just friends but...it’s also a nice thought. What if they were? You know? (Alternatively: Harrow, Sarai, and Viren could be interesting to think about in an AU too)
Viren x Aaravos-Not super into this one...because this is a Toxic relationship with a capital T if you only look at canon footage. But the fandom has made some interesting “What if it was like this” content...and I love both Viren and Aaravos as characters. Just not their dynamic so far.
Aaravos x Reader/Self-Insert/OC-Aaravos x Anyone really, but I love the self-inserts and “x Reader” stories and headcanons. I’m a part of the problem of course...but that’s beside the point.
Viren x Reader/Self-Insert/OC-I see less of him than any of the main cast in this area, for good reason, but what I have seen...I support you and wish there was more out there. He wasn’t always who he is now.
#8. Unpopular opinion?
1.) Ok, probably the most unpopular...I’m not a huge Runaan fan. I don’t dislike him, don’t get me wrong. I’m just kind of indifferent. I like that he’s an uncle figure to Rayla and that’s really sweet...but I’m just not as interested in him or Tinker as what looks to be a lot of the fandom. Again, I don’t dislike them at all, but I don’t have strong feelings yet either. (That is a bit hypocritical since I know just as much, if not less, about Aaravos...but he intrigues me. There are so many mysteries surrounding him and he’s being built up big time...starting with his role as narrator. I’m not seeing that with Runaan. Sorry.)
2.) Viren is my favorite character, hands down. He’s the most interesting and such a refreshing take on an old idea. I don’t love to hate him for this either, like I do a lot of my favorite villains in the media I consume. I genuinely like him as a character, and that adds to my conflict on how to feel about Aaravos...
3.) I really hope Harrow isn’t Pip (the bird.) I think Pip escaped, but it’s not Harrow. It’s just Pip...whom Ezran can still communicate with if they go that route.
I also hope Callum isn’t half-elf. I don’t know if that’s unpopular, but it just feels like an easy way out. The show doesn’t feel like they’d do that when they’re trying to say Dark Magic is an easy way out, a short cut instead of spending years learning runes and the philosophy of the magic you study.
#9. Favorite headcanon?
More of a theory...but the one that Crowmaster is an Earthblood elf in disguise. I really like that.
Also all the Aaravos headcanons. Some are super cute, others are fuel for my angsty, sadistic writer’s heart.
#10. Best siblings pair?
Both the Broyals and the One Brain Cell Siblings. I won’t choose between them, they’re both great.
#11. Who’s your Queen?
...We haven’t seen the Dragon Queen yet...so I won’t say her in case she’s insane from grief or something... Uh...man, I don’t know. I’ll stay undecided for now.
#12. Lujanne offers you ice cream, how do you respond?
Is it Bubblegum flavored?
#13. Be honest, do you have the guts to use dark magic?
The guts? Maybe. The drive? Not really. My only reason to use it would be to test my theory if everyone goes through what Callum did when he used it. That weird dream where he had to choose. But that’s coming from someone that knows the consequences of Dark Magic and all the comparisons being made about it.
It’s like smoking, it’s like cancer, and for me it’s like killing household pests. When I started out, I was very hesitant about how hard to swat when killing flies that got in the house. Now, I use full force from so much time doing so. It got easier and easier and now it’s almost second nature.
That’s how I would describe the use of Dark Magic. Why it’s so easy for Viren to kill with it, why it gets easier for Claudia to as well...just my thoughts.
#14. Who’s best elf? Why?
I’m not sure yet. Rayla’s the only one that hasn’t insulted humanity in some way so far...but because I’m biased and thirsty: Aaravos (XD)
#15. Hot brown morning potion or leaf flavored water?
Hot brown morning potion WITH chocolate mixed in. Otherwise, I’ll take your flavored water.
#16. Best use for magic?
It depends what type. I’ll go with illusions for...personal reasons. Related to a certain starry elf in a mirror...
#17. Who wins the best hair award?
Does Thunder count? I mean look at that beard! *shot* I dunno...I like them all. But Harrow, Viren, and Aaravos (ofc) stand out most when I think about hairstyles.
#18. Viren; misguided, evil, or actually the good guy?
It’s hard to say right now...everyone raises some good points...but it’s too early to say. Is he just power-hungry? Seeking control? Wants to take control of the East side, the magical side of Xadia, for a selfish reason? Or was he being honest when he claimed to love the kingdom? That war is coming and they need to take action?
What we know from the creators is Viren’s main goal or dream is to “get his name in the history books” though I could have worded that wrong. Basically I’ll just say...he’s clearly the villain. Maybe he didn’t start out that way, but by now he’s definitely willing to do whatever it takes to get his way. Is it a good cause? I don’t know yet...but I can’t say he’s a good guy or the Good Guy at this point.
#19. Would you rather fly with Phoe-Phoe, hike with Corvus, sail with Villads, or stay home with Opeli?
I would love to fly, but Villads is just the best...and I like Corvus but I hate hiking...Phoe-Phoe or Villads.
#20. Who’s your crush?
Isn’t it obvious? Viren, of course. *shot* I mean like I said...I like him...but it’s obviously Aaravos.
#21. You’re being chased by a cotton candy hippo; reaction?
Confusion. And I run.
#22. Choose a champion.
I don’t get this one...
#23. Favorite scene? Why?
It’s hard to choose just one... All Viren and Aaravos’ scenes are great...but I’ll go with the scene where Callum is reading King Harrow’s letter. That is my favorite moment.
A more humorous answer: Anything with Villads, but I love his introduction.
#24. Should Soren be a poet?
I mean who am I to judge? I think people that complain about “bad poetry” need to lighten up about it.
#25. Soggy Socks. (No more context)
...I think that’s the metaphor. Villads is the only reason this is ok to me.
Tags: I only have one friend I know in the TDP fandom who won’t mind being tagged...so: @allykatsart and anyone else that wants to fill it out.
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lokaneiscanon · 5 years
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Mighty Thor in Thor: Love and Thunder rant
Seeing Natalie Portman returning to reprise her role as Jane Foster, nevertheless wielding Mjolnir, finally getting the treatment this character deserves, was surreal to say the least. I had just started reading Lords of Midgard, the 8th issue of Mighty Thor (2015 - 2018), and had fallen in love already. But I didn't suspect at all that Taika Waititi would pull this card in Thor: Love and Thunder, considering Jane was barely mentioned in Ragnarok. The news about my favorite actress portraying one of my favorite characters coming out of the blue - you can imagine the excitement. Alas, I quickly remembered what the fandom thought of that comic (at least on tumblr) and imagined it now growing tenfold, cuz not everyone in the MCU fandom reads comics but pretty much everyone wants to watch another Thor movie. And yes, many fans weren't ready for this step, still recovering from Sam Wilson getting the shield in Endgame. Which is completely fine. We're not obligated to like everything Marvel throws in our faces, we're allowed to criticize and express our opinion on the internet or wherever. What is not okay is mindlessly hating, and even worse - using false facts to support said opinion.
I have seen some people using the argument that it is one of Marvel's worst selling comics. Which has already been proven wrong by multiple sites, including Comichron, just Google it, as I did myself. I read multiple posts, ones saying how good Jane is doing as Thor in sales, others disproving this, so I checked for myself the numbers at the site mentioned above month by month to be sure. The comic truly had its downfalls as the story progressed but in my opinion it's normal for the 1st issue to have more sales than the 21st. If we compare it to Unworthy Thor, which started running a bit later and followed the now unworthy Odinson, the data shows the latter had more sales. But then again, while Might Thor was at its 17th issue, Unworthy Thor was at its 2nd. Also, they later crossed paths, shared comic issues, it's fair to say they go hand in hand and Jason Aaron, the author, probably doesn't want us to compare them, as they complete and compliment each other's stories. Still I decided to check the comic that made Thor unworthy in the first place - Thor: God of Thunder (2012 - 2014), which seemed to me more "comparable" to Might Thor (2015 - 2018). *I keep putting the years it was being released so as to not be confused with previous Mighty Thor issues, whole Odinson was still Thor, please bear with me* So yes, the numbers were pretty close, but from what I saw, Mighty Thor had the upper hand if we compare first issue to first issue and so on. (In defense of Odinson, we have to take into account that this data is only from the US and does not include digital sales. Also, he's been around since the 50s. We could argue Jane was a breath of fresh air that some Marvel fans were indeed ready for. As a non-American, and also a person without a hint of knowledge in economics I cannot take into account inflation and whatever else has prevented or enabled Americans to get their hands on the comics or has affected prizes through the years. Bear that in mind.) Moreover, from what I saw on Comichron, both comics had much competition - God of thunder was released along with Avengers vs the X-men, the Uncanny X-men, pretty popular at the time, and the Goddess of Thunder faced Civil War 2 and DC Universe Rebirth (yes, DC is in the game too), also dominating with tremendous sales for the longest time. Yet I stick with my original statement - both Thors are valid and shouldn't be put against one another regardless of profit. Because at the end of the day what will matter the most is the story. And boy, what a story it is.
Now, I haven't read the Thor: God of Thunder, but as I was doing research I found one very well written summary and explanation of Thor's arc and his becoming unworthy and I will post a link below, because I honestly feel I wouldn't be doing this comic a favor by describing it without having read it. Which I plan to do in the future, tbh. It's a fantastic prelude to the Mighty Thor (2015 - 2018) that I've come to love. First, I'd like to ask you all to stop hating on the comic without having read it first. It doesn't make any sense and being petty for the sake of being petty won't benefit neither you, nor anyone, really. Now, about the comic itself - the art is magnificent. It's just gorgeous. Mighty Thor isn't , thank all the gods, sexualized, she is pretty buffed and generally looks like a warrior. As it is with the other characters, I dare say. The background truly captures the essence of every world Jane finds herself on. Action scenes are just the right amount and balanced with dialogue well. On a side note, it's pretty funny to read/listen to in your head the Shakespearean English cursive in which Jane talks as Thor. The plot line branches beyond this comic, starting from Thor: God of Thunder and leading to the War of Realms. And it is elaborately built in every issue. You don't know what to expect, yet it makes sense when it happens. Which leads me to the characterizations. My God, what a treat Loki is in this. Clearly, my opinion is kinda biased, since he's my favorite character, but you never know which side he's on. What his motivations are. And it just feels so... Loki. His writing is brilliant. Almost makes me forget what the MCU did to him. Also, he gets some daddy time with Laufey (not as kinky as I make it sound). Frigga/Freyja is just as awesome as in the MCU, even more, at least in the comics she calls Odin out on his shit, who btw is I guess an asshole in every version and universe. Malekith, the main villain, is unbearably despicable, I want to tear every page he is on. He really was mishandled in the Dark World, if you want some true action with the dark elves, you are welcome to enjoy. I saved the best for the end - Jane Foster/ Might Thor. Now, if you think Dr. Foster spends her time boasting about her worthiness and how Odinson is just called Thor, but she is Mighty Thor, you are horribly wrong. She just... does her job. Because the hammer chose her. Because there's no one else to do so. That's it. If you think there's some feminism involved, yes, there sure is, but it certainly isn't the reason Jane became Thor in the first place. It was not the creators going SJW because it's trendy, as such a mindset is honestly offensive to any descent creator with any self respect, but a well thought out story arc, which, I repeat, you have to read the comic to understand. Jane is not at all whiny about the hate she gets in-universe, not only from foes like Odin and who-not, but from Shield and generally people whose asses she's saving. Her having cancer is not something they pulled to provoke sympathy and make her look like a victim - on the contrary, she is a damn hero and a victor. I don't want to give out spoilers, but her being Thor is actually a giant sacrifice that no one really appreciates (both in-universe and in the fandom). She is not Thor to prove she can be, or just to prove "women can be heroes" - she doesn't have to. She is simply needed by the realms and so she does her job, even though she is called a thief, persecuted and generally hated. All that matters is that the hammer finds her worthy - the beauty and simplicity of that fact you will find out, for the last time, if you read the comic.
I'm not making you read the comic or watch Thor: Love and Thunder. I myself don't know what to make of this film yet because there's barely any information about it. I only know it will be based on the comic so that's a reason for my hopes to be up already. On the other hand, since I didn't like Loki's characterization in Ragnarok, I'm not sure what to expect from Taika. There are valid reasons to not like the idea of Jane returning to the MCU as Thor, which you are entitled to. However, reasons such as "why does everything have to be political these days" are not. Because if I had to make a list of everything politically related in the MCU, it would take forever. Steve Rogers kills nazis is the most blatant example. Make of it what you want. But I think we're far enough into the 21st century to realize art and real life are not that separable. It's undeniable that art affects people and that is to say, people everywhere. And they all have different opinions and aren't gonna like everything media is offering to them. And I wish I could simply tell you not to watch the movie but I'm a Marvel fan too and I understand that I can't just take away Thor from you because I want Mighty Thor as well. But none of us can stop Marvel from producing it. So, to quote an image I saw recently, I don't know how to explain to you that you should care about other people. Let the rest of the fandom enjoy what they want to enjoy. Yes, ik I can play around with the tags and avoid posts that unnerve me but, for example, I'm looking up Mighty Thor fanart, which obviously isn't anti-Mighty Thor, yet I get attacked in the comics for anticipating a movie that doesn't even have a full cast yet. Ik I'm not asking for too much when I wish to get the same internet experience (not only tumblr, but also insta, YouTube, Twitter, any site) as the Thor Odison fans, for example. I'm aware I cannot stop all the toxic fans and the trolls but I hope this post has inspired those of you who simply can't envision Jane as Thor, or don't like Natalie Portman in the role, or whatever eles personal preference that doesn't involve political issues and isn't harmful to the community, not to attack every post on your dash with hate. The movie is called LOVE and Thunder, for God's sake. (on a side note, is a franchise that is too afraid to show LGBT characters for more than 1 minute so as to not lose profit from China, THAT politically correct)
Anyway, that was a veeeery long rant, sorry to whoever reads this but, like, please, I put effort into this, hoping this time around I won't be the only positive reviewer of a movie, like I was with Solo: a Star Wars story (yes, I'm still bitter about this), which was boycotted for no apparent reason but was a decent film in reality, and I'm only bringing it up because it has a similar experience to Love and Thunder for getting hate before even being released. I'm not defending a billion dollar company that flopped in box office once, I'm defending the viewer's right to media they are interested in. If you don't like the character, remember - that's your opinion, not a fact that the character sucks. Kudos.
Not very easy to navigate, I advice you to do the research month by month individually for comics you'd like to compare. Also, if you happen to find more reliable data, pls say so in the comments.
Here you have the summary and explanation of the greatness of Thor: God of Thunder, Jesus, I'll go bankrupt if I buy this one too.
youtube
Yes, I want to end the sales dispute once and for all, I'm tired of seeing it on my dash. This guy probably explains it better than I did.
@awesomejenlawrence you said you'd like to read this and I delivered
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kayincolwyn · 7 years
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Candles In The Dark (Christmas Eve reflection, 12-24-2017)
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It’s Christmas Eve, and I’m sitting here at my laptop as the snow falls outside (which is a fairly rare occurrence here where I live in Oregon, although more likely than not it won’t last for long) and thinking about what to write here. Normally I reflect on movies or shows or books or songs, but thought I would save that for my next post (maybe one for New Years), but for now I just wanted to write about whatever is on my mind. I guess what is on my mind at the moment is how it’s been a rough year for many of us, and not just here in America but all over the world, and many of us may not be feeling particularly festive because of that. Whether it’s wider social and political issues that are talked about and debated about in the mainstream media or here online, or whether it’s the more personal issues that we must face in our own lives or see our family and friends facing, whether it’s some terrible tragedy we hear about on TV or read about online, or whether it’s having to wrestle with our own loneliness or grief, the festive nature of this time of year just brings to bear how difficult or painful life can be for us, as if the childlike sense of wonder and joy and magic that Christmas should ideally be all about only succeeds in reminding us of the opposite of all of those things, of all the confusion, sadness, and disappointment in our lives and in the world. What with Christmas seeming to be in large part commercialized and often used as a way of just selling more products by businesses, and having Christmas seemingly foisted upon us whether we want it or not with movies on TV and music on the radio and everything else, it can seem like so much illusion to try to distract us or make us only briefly forget about what’s really going on in the world and in our lives, which is the dark underbelly of everything beneath the happy veneer of the holidays, a happy veneer that is mainly for little children that aren’t yet old enough to understand how hard life really is or can be, and a world full of turmoil and anxiety and injustice and lives filled with struggle and heartache and pain.
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When I was a boy, Christmas was magic, and by far my favorite time of year, watching as my mom creatively and lovingly decorated the tree and my dad made up colorful bows with wrapping paper that he would hang on the walls inside and then the lights outside of the old house that I grew up in, and of course looking forward to all the presents that I would receive. Now I’m 35, and it’s been about 15 years since my parents split up, and I no longer live in that house but now live in an apartment, and while my mom who lives with my wife and I still creatively and lovingly decorates a tree every year, my dad lives elsewhere with his new wife and family and I don’t see him much, maybe once or twice a year, and there are no more colorful bows on the walls and we hang up lights on the inside of our apartment instead of outside, and while I still receive gifts from family and friends while I still appreciate it and am grateful it’s not something I look forward to as I used to, and I long ago stopped believing in Santa and his reindeer and his elves who are supposedly living up at the North Pole, and I am no longer a child but rather an adult (or at least trying to be one anyway) who looks back on his childhood both with some nostalgia and some sorrow as well, because things change, and along with that change some of the magic that I knew back then (although my childhood wasn’t all magic, that’s for sure) has lock its luster or has disappeared altogether. It’s easy to become cynical as we get older, to become cynical in the face of what is going on all around us or what is going on in our own lives, easy to believe that everything that comes along and appears to offer us any kind of light or hope to hold onto is only an illusion or a deception or a lie that we would be foolish to entertain, let alone embrace, and that to be mature adults we must simply face the fact that life sucks and you just have to deal with that fact as best you can. And I get that, and there have been times throughout my own life, including during the holidays, when I have wondered what the point of all of it is, or why we should bother celebrating anything, including Christmas, when life can be so, well, shitty, to put it bluntly, and for so many of us.
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Like I lost both my grandpa Allan and a close family friend, Bryan, to cancer this year (in March and August respectively), as well as my dog Shasta (also in March, though we hadn’t had her for the last few years since we moved, having had to find her a new home, but we kept up on how she was doing), and I have had struggles and continue to have struggles in my relationships and with work and most of us all within myself, as I am still trying to figure myself out and understand what my place in the world is, and while I have much to be thankful for and my life is easier or better in some ways than it has been in the past, that doesn’t mean it’s easy or that everything is the way I wish it to be. And I know that others have lost far more than I have, and have struggled or continue to struggle far more than me... I mean I have family and friends who have gone through so much this year, their lives seemingly turned inside out and shaken to the core, and even with everything I have gone through or am wrestling with I know I should count myself lucky. But even with all of this in mind, I just can’t bring myself to be entirely cynical, or to give up on being able to experience wonder or joy or magic in my life even though I’m no longer a child. Maybe this is simply me being stubborn, refusing to accept reality, refusing to accept that I’ve lost my childlike innocence and will never get it back, refusing to accept that there isn’t more to life than just disappointment and loss, but I can’t help it I guess, can’t help but believe, or at least hope, that there is still some magic left in this world or left for me or even for all of us. For example, I’ve been hoping since my grandpa passed away that I would hear from him in some way, as I know some people hear from their loved ones, or at least believe they do, whether in dreams or visions or some other sign from them to let us know that they’re still with us somehow, but as far as I know, after about nine months, there hasn’t been any sign, which is discouraging for me to be sure... but then last Saturday my aunt Angie, Allan’s youngest daughter, came over to visit with us, and as I stood in the doorway of my mom’s room just watching her chatting with my mom (her half sister) while my sister sat nearby just hanging out I got this feeling that Allan would be happy to see that.  Not that I felt his presence in any palpable way, it was just a feeling, but maybe that’s something. And then while my mom and my sister as well as Bryan’s wife Kelly have been having dreams of Bryan as well as other experiences, I haven’t got anything really, or at least not anything that I could call a sign with any confidence, but just spending time with Kelly and my friend Kyle (Bryan’s youngest son) when they spent the night and did gift exchange with us on Friday, I got that sense too, like with Allan, that Bryan would be happy to see that. And maybe that’s something too. And though I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye to Shasta I know she died peacefully in her sleep of old age, being loved and cherished by a number of humans throughout her life and having overall lived a good life... and I know that Allan and Bryan were loved and cherished too, and they live on in our memories (and maybe in some other dimension too), I think this is all something too.  I think of the kindness of people in my life, family and friends and even strangers, an encouraging word or a warm hug, I think of good stories and art and music and just basic things like food and clothing and shelter and my health, which not everyone in the world has like I do, and I think of the beauty of nature, walking with my wife from her work earlier this evening in the falling snow, and I think of the many moments and memories in my life that meant so much, and even if they came and went they are still a part of me, and I think of all my hopes and dreams for the future, which may not be a certainty but are still alive inside of me...
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On Christmas Eve there are many people throughout the world who hold candlelight services at churches, and while I haven’t gone to one of them since leaving the church a few years ago for different reasons, the idea of it always appealed to me, the idea of holding candles together in the dark, each one of us holding up a flame it only adds to the light that beats back the darkness. For many people Christmas is a holiday that honors and celebrates the birth of Jesus Christ, and the story of a savior laying in a manger (or a feed trough for farm animals) surrounded by angels and wise men is one that is retold over and over throughout the world this time of year. To some it’s a sweet story of hope, of light coming into darkness, of new life, and for others it is only the first part of a larger story, of God becoming a child and then growing up to be a man that would teach and challenge and heal and love and would eventually die on a cross at the hands of the very people he was trying to help, and then three days later come back from the dead. When I identified as a Christian I believed all of this, or tried to, I believed in that child in that savior in the manger and I believed in the larger story too, believed in the cross and the resurrection, believed in Jesus, much as I believed in Santa and his reindeer and his elves, I put my hope and my heart into all of it, or at least as much as I could... but like things have changed since I was a boy and I now see things differently, I could say the same now. I am not really sure what I believe in now, or where I stand on all of this. I guess you could say that I am a wanderer or a vagabond, maybe like one of those wise men (although I don’t feel particularly wise most of the time) who was looking for the Christ child. 
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It’s not that I don’t believe in any of that anymore, believe in that child or believe in that story, it’s just I’m not as sure of it as I once was, because I have so many questions and uncertainties, and I no longer wish to embrace something wholeheartedly when it is a rose with some serious thorns on closer inspection, which was what the Christian faith turned out to be in my experience of it. But still, I do have something like faith I think, or at least hope. While I may no longer believe in Santa in the literal sense, I do believe in what you might call the spirit of Santa, or the spirit of giving, believe that people can be kind and generous to one another, and not just during the holidays but during any time of the year, and I think this is just as magical as any flying reindeer or toy-making elf. I could say much the same of Jesus Christ. I am not really sure whether I believe in him or not in a literal sense, or believe that everything that is written about him in the New Testament is literally true, but I do believe in what he represents to many people, I think the hope that people find in the child in the manger is beautiful, I think the thought that our Creator would become one of us is beautiful, that God would become a child in the arms of a mother, that God would share in our struggle and our pain as human beings, and even be willing to die at our hands to show his love for us, all of that is beautiful to me, and is what drew me to the Christian faith in the first place. I have since distanced myself from it because I have seen its dark underbelly, because it left me with more questions than answers, with more confusion than peace, because it disappointed me and brought me a lot of turmoil and anxiety... and its difficult to explain all of that to family and friends who still believe wholeheartedly what I once believed... but that doesn’t mean I have completely closed myself off to it, anymore than I have completely closed myself off to wonder or joy or magic or Christmas.
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I still believe that there is hope in the world, and many people find hope in a child whose birth is celebrated on Christmas Day, and I still believe in miracles, and many people see the birth of Christ as one of the greatest of all miracles and see God as the source of all miracles, and the kind of God that I would want to believe in would be a God that would be willing to be born into our world and walk among us as one of us and would hurt with us and would even be willing to die for us, even at our hands, just to show us that he loves us, and many people believe that Jesus is that kind of God, or at least a reflection of that kind of God. So I am not completely closed to it, I’m just not sure about all of it, and I hope that everyone in my life that has more certainty than I do about what they believe would respect where I’m at and would allow me my uncertainty, would allow me to say ‘I don’t know’ and be okay with that. But with all that said, to me Christmas, whether you approach it as a secular or  religious holiday, is, or at least it can be, like those candelight services that I was talking about, where lights are held up and together beat back the darkness. Taking time to connect with family and friends, decorating, exchanging gifts, remembering and telling stories that give us some kind of hope, lighting candles in the dark... these traditions and rituals can be like our way of trying to beat back the darkness in this world and in our lives. Maybe it doesn’t always work, and maybe we don’t have the heart for it, but I think the desire to find light or create it and then hold onto it is human and beautiful and I believe whatever light we can find or create in our lives can, well, to put it simply, make our lives suck less and not be as shitty. So I guess you could say that I’m aware of all the reasons why people hate this time of year or don’t want to celebrate it. I’m aware of why people don’t want to have anything to do with it either on a secular level or a religious level, because I understand how much life can suck and how shitty it can be. And I understand people not believing in Santa or Jesus or any of that because I have my doubts about those things myself. But I still believe in the spirit of Christmas, in the spirit of Santa, and of Jesus, in what these things represent, or at least can represent, for many of us, I believe in our desire for wonder and joy and magic, in our desire for hope, in our desire to bring light into the darkness, in our longing and aching for these things, and I believe that there may an answer to these desires, even if not everyone can agree what that answer would be. May you, may all of us, find light wherever we can this Christmas and always, whether it’s in the kindness of one another, as human as we may be, or in stories or art or music or even in the things that so many of us may take for granted, or in nature, whether it’s in the falling snow or in the sun shining wherever we are on Christmas Day, or whether it’s in our memories or our hopes and dreams, whether it’s in a jolly old elf or a child in the manger or the magic or hope we may find in them as children or as adults, in the things that bring us comfort in our loneliness and our pain, in the feeling that maybe those we’ve lost are still with us somehow, and maybe someday, somewhere, we will see them again, and in appreciating what matters most to us, what brings us meaning or makes life worth living, and may we bring our own light into the world, and share that light with one another as much as we can, may we light our candles, however dim they may be, and together we will shine in the darkness.
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nerdylittleshit · 6 years
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The Big Potter Rewatch
Recently I found myself drowning in Potter related feels. HP was my first fandom (and with that I mean I read fan fiction and printed out fan art and was complete oblovious to any kind of wank) and whenever I get back there it feels like home.
I’m planning to reread the entire series and I might create a sideblog as well and write a bit about it. But for now I have just rewatched all the movies during the last week. I have never seen them all back to back before, and it has been an interesting experience, seeing how different directors approached to adapt those books.
Adaptions are never easy to make. Books and movies are different media and they tell a story in a different way. What works within a book might not translate to the big screen and the same goes the other way around. And then there is of course always the expectations from the readers, and obviously you can never satisfy everyone.
When it comes to Potter I will always prefer the books over the movies, and to these who have only seen the movies I recommand you to read the novels. Watching the movies I always had the books in the back of my mind, however I also tried to watch them as someone who doesn’t have this background, because I think adaptions should always work on their own. I couldn’t help to take some notes and compare the adaptions of each Potter book, so here they are:
(In general I have to say I love all the hard work and the care they put in those movies. Look at those sets, look at those costumes, look at at the entire world they created. And also the casting: with a very few exceptions I think all the actors were stunning in their roles.)
Harry Potter and The Philosopher’s Stone (2001)
Director: Chris Columbus
I think that overall the first movie is in my opinion the weakest. I remember how disappointed I was when I first saw it in the theater (mind you, I was 12), so much that I refused to watch any of the movies until “Order of the Phoenix”. As a child the movie couldn’t live up to my expections and I remember how upset I was of how much they left out from the book. Ironically now as an adult I think the biggest problem is how desperately to adaption tried to cram in as much of the story as they could. The movie feels like they were going through each chapter, made some notes, and gave us a very brief summary of what happened. The problem however is that in many scenes the context is missing; context the book did provide. There are several scenes that simply make little to no sense if you haven’t read the book.
The movie is nothing more than a visualation of the book, but it doesn’t work without the book. In addition there are several scenes that simply don’t add anything to the plot or the characters. They exist to show us how super awesome this school for magic is, but I wish they would have cut more of them to add more depth to other scenes.
Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets (2002)
Director: Chris Columbus
Overall I think this one worked better than the first one, it has a better flow/rhythm, in the way it brings scenes together. However it still suffers from many problems the first one had. I also think they hired Chris Columbus because he had experience with child actors and because they wanted a family friendly big movie. But overall I think the first two movies are lacking some of the darkness the books always had, right from the start.
Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)
Director: Alfonso Cuaron
Many consider this to be the best Potter movie and I can see why. Cuaron managed what Columbus couldn’t: he created a movie that worked on its own, that was more than just an adaption. You can see the director’s handwriting. I absolutely adore the aesthetic of this movie and the way he worked with light and darkness. He also managed to translate the atmosphere from the book on the big screen. PoA is one of the darkest book of the series and I loved that they decided to fully give in to this instead of creating a children friendly version.
The one big problem I always have with this movie though is the way it handled the Marauder’s story. PoA is my favourite book of the series and the big reveal at the end left my stunned. And yet so much of the story is missing in the movie and I don’t know why, because they could have easily add all the missing details in another 5 minutes.
Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire (2005)
Director: Mike Newell
Love is in the air! Which is why they might hired a director known for romantic comedies. And I admit the the whole part of watching awkward teenagers trying to figure out this whole dating thing did work well. However opposed to that they decided to make the Triward Tournament much more action heavy, because it is not dangerous enough that Harry has to fight a dragon, let him almost fall from the roof of Hogwarts while doing it. I also didn’t like the way they portrayed Beauxbaton and Durmstrang, making them respectively an all girls/all boys school and portraying them in the most stereo-typical way.
Overall I think the movie suffers from the same problem as the first two: it is too trivial, with the focus on big action pieces instead of character moments. And while they mentioned Prior Incantatem they never cared to actually explain it, not that it is ever going to be important or anything.
Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix (2007)
Director: David Yates
In my humble opinion this is the best movie adaption and the one I have probably seen the most. Ironically while the novel is the longest of the series the adaption is the shortest. And that of course could only happen because they cut out a lot. But in doing so they made a better movie.
OotP was at times hard to read because it dragged out the story so much. And the complete opposite happened in this adaption. They looked what the core story is, the essence of the book, and radically cut out the rest. There isn’t even Quidditch in here. But because of it the movie never leaves it tension; there is no subplot here that might cheer things up. The beginning war, the ignorance of the ministry, Harry’s isolation - all the essential parts of the story are captured and they are given the time and attention they deserve. There isn’t a single thing I didn’t like about this movie.
Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince (2009)
Director: David Yates
It’s still good, but compared to OotP it doesn’t quite live up. When it comes to the atmosphere the movie creates it is a mix between the lighthearted teenage romance shenangigans of the fourth movie and the dark atmosphere OotP created, now openling acknowleding that the Wizarding World is at war. I would have wished however that the focus would have been more on the dark themes the novel provided. Too much was left out of Voldemort’s story, of Draco’s growing despair, in order to give Won-Won more screentime.
However, given that the novel complete changed how I watched Draco Malfoy, I absolutely loved Tom Felton’s performance in this one, especially during their flight at the end, when you can see the absolute horror on his face realizingwhat he has done.
Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows Part 1 & 2 (2010 & 2011)
Director: David Yates
I think it was the right choice to cut this movie in two parts. Because of it they were able to leave a lot of the things from the book in it, and given how indredible well J. K. Rowling tied up her saga there wasn’t much to cut in the first place. They decided that the first one should be more character driven, with the focus on the emotional journey of said characters, whereas the epic battle of Hogwarts was completely saved for the second one. Because of it there is a different feel to each movie, however they work on their own as much as they work together.
Storywise there are two things I missed in this movie: first the Dursleys, which we only see briefly. However there are two deleted scenes which add more to Petunia and Dudley. The second is Regulus’s story. Harry, Ron and Hermione never question how Regulus came into the possesion of the locket. I can see how his story isn’t neccessary for the bigger plot, still though he is perhaps my favourite unsung hero and I loved his story. (Then again Regulus & Kreacher were part of the house-elves arc, something the movies cut out in its entirety.)
After OotP these two final movies are the ones that worked best for me.
Something else...
I couldn’t help but watch those movies from a shipper perspective as well. (Personally I ship Drarry, but I never expected this to become canon, so whatever *shrugs*) Regarding the love triangle that never was (Harry/Hermione/Ron) I had always wondered where the Harry/Hermione shippers were coming from because I had never picked this up from the books (no hate though, every ship is welcome). Ever since GoF Hermione/Ron was super obvious to me, the moment Ron realized that Hermione was, in fact, a girl. But if you have only seen the movies or perhaps the movies before the books, things look different. Harry and Hermione are very close, completely trusting each other, and always physical affectionate with each other. In a way Hermione and Ron are not, who are instead super awkward around each other, and that was the point the movies tried to make. How easily Harry can hug Hermione because he never saw her as more than a friend, and how Ron can’t, because feeeeeeeeelings. Still, Hermione remains the one female character Harry is the closet to, he has the most screentime & development with, and I can see how easily you can ship those two, because the potential is there. More so as in the books.
And opposed to that we have Harry/Ginny, which I already felt forced in the books (because Harry too one day realized that Ginny is, in fact, a girl), and more so in the movies, where they don’t really have a relationship with each other until they start to date and even then they lack chemistry (and it doesn’t help that Ginny feeds Harry or ties up Harry’s shoes, like a mother would, not his girlfriend).
So yeah, both Harry/Hermione and Ron/Hermione work in the movies, though on a different level, but it was interesting to me as I never shipped Harry & Hermione in the books but lowkey did in the movies.
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