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wheeboo · 9 months

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the secret life of jun | wen junhui

SYNOPSIS. in which jun gets set up on a blind date by his best friend. PAIRING. zoolinguist!wen junhui x gn!reader (ft. minghao, gyu the golden retriever, boo the duckling, and lil mentions of some members as their representative animals. not hybrids.) GENRE. fluff, humour, kinda strangers to lovers, magic-realism au WARNINGS. cursing, jun just being a very cute awkward shy boy :(, my first attempt at something remotely magic/fantasy WORD COUNT. 3k

notes: this is for the caratlibrary secret gift exchange event! and therefore, this gift is for @phenomenalgirl9 who also gifted a fic for me hehe. i hope you enjoy <3 this is also my first time writing something remotely fantasy/magic, so... feedback is welcome! ty to my lovely moots who read this over for me ^^

"Jun! Can you tell your dog to get the fuck off me?" Minghao attempts to shove away the ever-persistent golden retriever pawing and licking at his face, but Jun doesn't seem to hear, seemingly engrossed on something else entirely in the kitchen.

Minghao just groans annoyedly, and just as he's about to call out for his best friend's name again, a thought crosses his mind. A sort-of stupid one that he knows won't work, but he'll try it out anyway.

He brings a hand up, watching the dog follow it with curiosity, and he points to the ground while firmly saying, "Down."

Unfortunately, the dog only tilts his head inquisitively, as if dazed and confused by the action, before relentlessly pouncing on the boy again, and all he could do is surrender himself to the attack of excitement. Right, he thinks, these animals don't exactly understand him normally.

Jun finally emerges from the kitchen after what feels like an eternity, a black cat cuddled gently in his arms, lightly running his fingers through its fur carefully. When he picks his head up, he could only chuckle at the sight in front of him. Minghao only rolls his eyes, shooting a playful glare to his best friend who only seems amused.

"Your dog is a menace," Minghao declares, wiping away the slobber from his face.

"Come on! Gyu just likes you."

"I'm not sure I share the sentiment right now," Minghao replies almost coldly, perhaps even half-jokingly, attempting to regain his composure.

Jun just sighs and sends out a whistle from his lips to get the dog's attention. And with a subtle look from just his eyes, as if sending a silent signal, Gyu hops off the couch and trots over to Jun, letting out a few barks in response.

"He says he doesn't like your attitude today," Jun translates, setting the cat in his hands down on the floor. "but he's forgiven you."

"Gee, thanks," Minghao scoffs and crosses his arms together, still trying to maintain a façade of irritation, though it's quite easy to see right through it.

He watches for some time as Jun crouches down to the dog's level, the two of them communicating in a way he knows he can never understand, but is grown to be amazed by every time. It isn't a secret that he knows that his own best friend can communicate with animals, as strange as that might sound (because... it's true), but it's a fact he's fully accepted.

Jun probably has more animal friends than human friends at this point. He's made friends with the birds at the park, the stray cats that roam the streets, a deer that comes to visit occasionally behind his place, an otter that frequents at a nearby pond, hell even one of the tigers at the zoo𑁋the list goes on.

And not to exactly complain, but he also really wants Jun to find a fucking partner.

Not that it's a bad thing Jun isn't seeing anyone, and it totally isn't the entire reason why Minghao is here right now. He has tried to set Jun up on dates, but the older boy almost always manages to find some excuse or simply doesn't show up, claiming he got caught up in a conversation with a stray cat or a butterfly on the way. Or the date ends up in disaster with a chase down the street of the neighbourhood raccoons stealing food.

But then again, that's Jun for you𑁋unpredictable.

"One more date."

Jun raises his head, and the moment he sees that particular smirk to Minghao's face, he groans.

"No."

"Oh, come on, just one more," Minghao insists. "I promise you'll like them. They're an animal lover."

"Just because they're an animal lover doesn't mean𑁋"

"You're either going to be drinking 'till you're absolutely couch-ridden on new year's because you're single and lonely again, or you could be celebrating with someone special. Your call, dude."

Jun finds his face flushing out of embarrassment, scratching absentmindedly behind Gyu's ears as Minghao's words wash over him. Then his features soften, and he lets out a sigh.

"Fine," he relents. "One more."

Shit, he's screwed. The minute Minghao told him the date would be happening in the middle of the park where he often chatted with the local squirrels and ducks, Jun knew this already wouldn't end well.

He also had quite the love-hate relationship with blind dates𑁋or dates in general, to be honest𑁋and the thought of meeting a stranger made his palms sweat even with the cold threatening through his thick coat (he's convinced that Minghao is pulling anyone out of his ass at this point).

The park is covered with a light blanket of snow, the trees standing tall and glowing with strings of fairy lights against the grey winter sky. Jun shivers in place and adjusts the scarf around his neck, partially from the cold and partially from the impending awkwardness he anticipates.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry for being late! The traffic was awful coming here and I got a bit lost..."

The voice is frantic and panicky to Jun's ears akin to his equally panicking heart, who turns around to a figure rushing up to him, covered in layers and letting out misty breaths that appear in the air.

"It's okay," Jun says, voice coming out a bit awkward. He offers a reassuring smile. "I'm, uh... Jun, by the way."

"Y/N," You say, relieved as you finally catch your breath and look up at him with a cute grin. "I'm so sorry for being late. I hope you weren't waiting for too long."

"Oh, not at all. I... just got here as well." It's a bit of a white lie𑁋he was beginning to worry you ditched him, honestly. Jun feels his hands fidget in his pockets nervously, yet he sees the ease that washes over your features at his words, and he relaxes slightly. There's something about the way you carry yourself and the slight blush on your cheeks from the cold that eases some of his tension.

And maybe, just maybe, his heart stutters a little at your smile, like a startled butterfly in his chest. Did the lights at the park grow brighter?

"Would you like to, uh, maybe grab some hot chocolate?" Jun suggests, gesturing towards the small, lit up kiosk nestled in the corner of the park that seemed quite busy with customers. "It can help... warm you up."

Your eyes light up to his words, grinning. "That sounds perfect, actually."

As you both walk towards the kiosk, the air seems to crackle with a nervous energy Jun hadn't expected. Despite the awkwardness gnawing at him, he can't deny the strange sense of hope fluttering in his stomach, somewhat like a small bird unsure of its flight. He's not the best at dates and probably never will be, but for some reason, feeling this sort of apprehension is unlike anything else he's felt. It's not uncomfortable per se, but more... exciting?

The two of you stand in the back of the line, shoulder-to-shoulder, hands tucked deep in your pockets and sharing silences punctuated by the occasional nervous giggle when your eyes meet. The line at the kiosk is surprisingly long, a mix of bundled-up families with laughing children and young couples warming their hands around steaming plastic cups.

When your shoulder brushes against his, Jun freezes for a moment, feeling a warmth spreading through him that has nothing to do with the hot chocolate. He steals a glance at you, finding your gaze already on him, and there's a shy smile that you both share before you look away first.

Then Jun notices it𑁋you're shivering.

It's almost imperceptible at first, a slight tremor running through your shoulders as you shift your weight from foot to foot. He hesitates for a moment, then a nervous breath leaves him. Fuck it.

Without a word, he unravels the wooly scarf from around his neck and drapes it over you, fingers lingering for just a moment longer than necessary as he adjusts it comfortably. You blink up at Jun with wide eyes.

"Sorry I, uh... noticed you were cold," he mumbles, scratching the back of his head in embarrassment.

You glance at him, surprise evident in your eyes, and then you chuckle. "Are you sure? I don't want you to freeze."

"I'll be alright," Jun just assures calmly, though the chill creeping up his neck is a bit hard to hide now.

The line moves forward, and soon you're ordering hot chocolate for the both of you. Jun pays for both, insisting with a small nod when you attempt to pull out your wallet.

As Jun and you clutch the steaming cups, the warmth radiating through the thin plastic felt almost comforting. The park bustles around you, but with each sip, the outside world seems to fade away, leaving only the diffident hum of conversation and the fluttering hope that dances between you.

"So, uh, what kind of animals do you like?" Jun asks, trying to break the ice as you both trail down an empty path close to the icy pond nearby. He's not exactly smooth with conversation, but he figures asking about your supposed love for animals is a safe bet. "I've been told you like them."

Your eyes light up as you take a swift, long sip of the hot chocolate, the warmth quickly spreading through you.

"Oh, all kinds!" You answer eagerly. "I volunteer at an animal shelter not that far from here and take care of the injured ones. I have a lot of pets at home too𑁋a hamster, a dog, a few cats, a rabbit... How about you?"

You spoke so quickly that Jun could barely register it all, but he can't help but grin at your enthusiasm. It’s almost infectious.

"Wow, I have, uh... a dog and a cat at home... Gyu and Woozi are their names," Jun replies slowly, almost unsurely.

"That's really cute!" You tell him, catching the way the corners of his lips crinkle up just slightly and how he has to angle his face down just to hide it. "My hamster's name is Hoshi! My dog is Minnie, my rabbit is Hannie, and my cats are Wonu, Nonie..."

Listening to you list your pets' names and some of the ones you've taken care of at the shelter makes Jun feel just a tiny bit lighter with each step he takes with you, and also from the way your eyes sparkle with every word you spoke. He finds himself letting out giggles at your stories of Hoshi's escape attempts and Min's stubborn streak, and for the first time in a long time, he feels truly comfortable, truly seen in a way that didn't feel fake.

Yet it doesn't take long for that feeling to falter just slightly. He doesn't know what Minghao exactly told you about him, or if anything at all𑁋how does he explain to you that he can quite literally talk to animals?

He knew that spilling the beans could go one of two ways: either you'd think he was crazy, or you'd be amazed (and maybe even a little scared). He's never exactly revealed it to any person he goes on a date with because, in the end, after a handful of mishap encounters with animals that don't mean to ruin the date, they end up leaving anyway.

Should he tell you? The words dance on his tongue, ready to tumble out, but that unwanted fear of rejection holds him back once again.

But before he can say anything, a squeaky quack pierces through the air, snapping Jun out of his thoughts. He looks down to see a small duckling waddling towards them, its tiny yellow head bobbing with each step. It stops in front of you, tilting its head inquisitively as it looks you up and down curiously, before heading to Jun's feet and quacking loudly.

It's Boo, one of the park's young resident chatterboxes who loves nothing more than socialising and the occasional spread of gossip. Jun had befriended Boo a while back, often sharing stories and snacks by the pond. But what was Boo doing here, and why does he look so worried? Jun could almost hear a frantic heartbeat echoing through the duckling's chest.

Boo lets out a series of rapid quacks. Jun strains to decipher the splurge of words, picking up snippets about stolen food and a local raccoon, and... how one of his siblings is stuck somewhere.

"Oh my gosh, you're so cute!" You exclaim, kneeling down upon noticing the young duck in front of Jun and extending a tentative hand. "What are you doing out here, little one? You're going to freeze."

Jun could only listen as the distraught duck spills its frustration on you. Yet you didn't understand anything, only continuing to coo about how cute the duckling is, and Jun watches as Boo looks up at him with pleading eyes, urging him to do something. He knew he had to act, but he glances at you, still kneeling with outstretched hand at Boo, and his mind races.

Should he explain his... ability to you and risk making you uncomfortable? Or maybe try to handle it on his own, somehow decipher Boo's instructions and lead you on a cryptic animal rescue mission that might look completely bizarre, delusional, and psychotic?

"Do you think it's lost?" You ask worriedly, glancing back up at Jun. And when his gaze catches yours, warm and hopeful in the glow of the fairy lights surrounding you, a surge of determination pulses through him.

Jun only quietly chuckles at Boo's attempts to tell you his name, his tiny feathered body vibrating with slight annoyance, but your gentle cooing and outstretched hand seem to soothe him a little. The sight stirs something deep within him, a warmth that spreads beyond the simple comfort of the hot chocolate from earlier.

"He's not lost," Jun says, his gaze meeting yours. "He's... a friend. And he's telling us a story. Oh, and his name is Boo, by the way."

Your brow furrows in confusion, a tiny crease appearing between your eyes. “You… understand ducks?”

Jun offers a hesitant smile, a knot of anxiety twisting in his stomach. There's no going back now.

“It’s a bit more than that,” he admits sheepishly, watching your expression shift from curious to intrigued. “I can, um, like... sort of talk to animals, I guess. Or they sort of talk to me, basically, yeah..."

The silence that follows is deafening. Jun braces himself for a wave of disbelief, rejection, maybe even a startled shriek. But instead, your eyes widen with awe, a growing smile forms on your lips, and Jun can't quite bring himself to tear his gaze away from you. He'd taken a leap of faith, and you, instead of running for the hills, were looking at him with... wonder?

"Wow, that's..." You breathe, voice hushed with wonder. "I-I mean I always knew that... sort of existed? Like, in research papers and ancient history, but meeting someone who can actually do it is just..."

Jun blinks, a bit taken aback by your reaction.

"You're not... freaked out or anything?" he asks cautiously. "Like... you actually believe me?"

"Jun." You turn to him, shifting so that your knees are slightly touching in the snow. "Minghao told me like... a lot of things, or tried to at least. I mean, at first I found it ridiculous, then I realised that this is Xu Minghao telling me this, and if he's vouching for you, it must be true. And, well... I really wanted to get to know you too."

Oh. "Oh," Jun mutters, cheeks flushing and face burning. Minghao, of course. He should have known his best friend with a 'credible' reputation wouldn't simply set him up on a blind date without throwing him under the bus a little bit. "I mean, it-it's nothing too fascinating. No mind-reading or telepathy exactly, just… understanding their gestures and stuff. It's kind of like learning a new language, you know?"

"Well, can you tell me what Boo is saying then?" You quirk up expectantly, and Jun swears he cannot handle more than five seconds of you peering at him without melting completely. His heart does a little double flip in his chest, landing somewhere around his ankles.

Jun chuckles, a warm sound that feels right at home amidst the snowy air. Then he takes a deep breath, steadying himself under your gaze, before turning his attention back to the little duck at his feet.

"Alright, alright," he teases, ruffling Boo's feathers playfully. "Don't get jealous, little guy. Spill it."

Boo then goes on an insistent frenzy of quacks, and you could only watch in awe as Jun listens carefully, nodding and humming in response. There's a certain magic in the air that you can sense, as if you've stepped right into a fairytale of some sorts. The small duckling then looks up at you with begging eyes, as if seeking your help as well. Jun shoots you a quick glance, and you can see the uncertainty in his eyes.

"He's pretty worked up," he admits, clearing his throat. "He's telling me about a raccoon that stole his flock's food, and... um, one of his siblings is stuck in a log somewhere. I have some food with me, but he wants to find his sibling first. He knows the way."

"Then let's do it," You say, rising to your feet and dusting off the snow on your pants.

Jun hesitates again, staring at you in slight disbelief𑁋you want to come with him? He glances at Boo, who lets out a frustrated quack, urging him to make a decision. Then he looks back at you, your kind eyes holding his own, and suddenly the choice becomes clear.

"Do you trust me?" Jun asks softly, his heart pounding in his chest.

You hold his gaze for a moment, a thoughtful look on your face. Then a smile blooms across your lips, one that reaches your eyes and seems to chase away the worry.

"I trust you," You answer, stretching an open hand towards him.

Jun feels a warmth spread through him, and he grabs your hand in his. Relief and something else courses through him, like excitement and perhaps a bit of fear. You were in, and that was all that mattered.

Boo lets out a triumphant quack, and with him waddling excitedly at your feet, you follow Jun deeper into the park, the fairy lights casting long shadows against the snow-covered ground. It's a strange sight𑁋you walking on one side of Jun and a duckling trotting on the other𑁋but with every step, whatever awkwardness that was lingering seems to melt away.

And maybe, just maybe, something else was blossoming too.

taglist (open) ʚɞ @enhazen @haowrld @icyminghao @slytherinshua @jeonride @lockburn-castle @vrnism @weird-bookworm @mhlsymlysn @ryuwonieebae @yeonjuns-redhair @wonwooz1 @woohaeyo @mark-geolli @caramyisabitchforsvtandbts @aaniag @wootify

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sweetbunpura · 1 month

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Dangit. All the Returned!Yuu posts have given me an angst/fluff idea. Yuu is Leona’s baby sibling and was the only one he felt close to. Yuu wanted Leona above everyone else as a baby and for little Leona, that was enough. Leona was there when whatever creature/event took Yuu, it’s how he got his scar. It’s the thing that fully broke the prince.

When Yuu arrives during the sorting ceremony Leona smells them and some hope pulls at his heartstrings. But Yuu doesn’t have any of their original beastman traits, so Leona talks himself out of it. Slowly Yuu gains magic and starts acting more like other beastmen (stronger senses, little more predatory, lil growls). But nothing solid until Leona’s overblot. They get to see Leona’s past like in the game, but now with memories of Leona taking care of baby Yuu. Yuu recognizes a baby blanket/necklace/charm Leona had gifted them and calls it out. Before Leona can react they return to the real world. Now Yuu has ears and a tail. Leona wakes up and just stares in disbelief, wondering if it’s real.

They bond and grow closer so fast. Leona finally has his person back, and Yuu feels like they are finally whole but feel like it’s their fault Leona was so hurt. Leona wants to go back home even less (wants to hog Yuu all to himself) before Cheka appears. Yuu could help Leona communicate his ideas more to Falena and get him to show off more. Yuu 100% does not like the bird man and jabs back every time he puts Leona down. Cheka grows quickly on Yuu, but they also feel jealous of the cub cause it’s obvious Leona loves him (Yuu fighting with feeling replaced and not being able to have a childhood with their family). Yuu also has a close relationship with Ruggie and learns about the slums and other parts/people of the Sunset Savanna. Yuu may or may not get Leona to help more with the slums (also helping keep Falena from stopping them) and Leona gains the people’s favor and becomes the first prince of the lesser people.

Uh! I could just go on! Feels like it could have so much potential.

Leona with that hopeful flare in his chest, but not a scent of a lion on Yuu anywhere. Anytime he tries to smell Yuu for anything, the scent just smells burnt. He gets angry, angrier than he normally gets, and tries to ignore the idea that Yuu could be his lost baby sibling. His first glimpse that it might actually be Yuu is when he attacks Yuu and Grim in the garden after stepping on his tail, Yuu blocks it out of pure instinct.

Leona sees Yuu's pupils turn into slits before they round out and return to normal. He leaves immediately afterwards, too hurt by what just happened. After Leona's overblot, he wakes up to a lot of chatter, there's something heavy on his chest and he looks down. Yuu's looking at him with their ears flatten and tears in their eyes. They saw all of what happened and They're so sorry for what he went through after Yuu went missing.

His ndugu is finally back and Leona breaks down and holds onto Yuu. Finally, his will to live has returned to him. Yuu and Leona try to get them transferred to Savanaclaw, with some bribery. Leona's telling Yuu about everything they missed and everything that's happening.

Under Leona's help, Yuu managed to unlock their Unique Magic: Lion's Fury. While Leona's turns things into sand, Yuu's causes a fiery blaze.

Leona: Yours is just like mine. Guess we both just cause destruction-

Yuu: Not exactly. Mine can burn stuff, yeah, but it also allows for new growth.

Leona: Which mine doesn-

Yuu: What if someplace gets invaded by an invasive plant? Your sand could kill that plant in no time at all, saving vegetation and the likes.

Leona: ...I'll be honest, I never thought of that before.

Yuu being Leona's baby sibling is adorable, but not look at all the books past this moment. Leona would be pissed at Azul and would easily agree to Yuu's plan without having to force his hand. Scarabia's chapter would cause Leona to be called and get involved in it. Ignihyde now has Yuu going for both Grim AND Leona.

#hey I've created something very fun from an AU concept but that means Yuu being the lost sibling makes everything sad #twisted wonderland #return home!yuu #leona kingscholar #thorn answers #return home au

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badmuni · 2 years

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enhypen x-ray 🔍

★ . ꜝꜞ ᳝ ࣪ ( the way they communicate with their s/o ) ☁️ׂ ʬʬ

₍⁠₍ 김선우 ₎⁠₎ sunoo

“how was your day?” “tell me everything.”

sunoo is incredibly interested and wants to know everything about his s/o's life, even the bad outcomes.

“did you have dinner already?” “please don't skip any meals !”

sunoo is constantly concerned with their wellbeing and health. he pays attention to these details since he is aware that some people are careless with food and he doesn't want his partner to be.

“you can count on me, baby. i love you. i love you so much i can't even breath”

he likes to show his affection for them sometimes even sounding a little dramatic, but that's just how he want it to be. sunoo enjoys expressing his emotions, which usually results in him sending them lengthy (romantic) texts. or placing calls...

₍⁠₍ 西村力 ₎⁠₎ ni-ki

“did you miss me? don't lie, i know you missed me.”

riki is cute and provocative all at once, and he enjoys receiving special treatment from his lover. he just acts like that every time he visits them.

“i wanna go out with you again, baby.”

riki enjoys spending time with his s/o. he likes taking them on adventures and to new places because it makes him the happiest. also, because he likes adrenaline (way too much).

“i bought something to you... it's surprise so i'm not going to reveal what it is, but try to guess it.”

riki (often) spends his money buying things to his s/o. sometimes a plushie or maybe a T-shirt that says “i love my boyfriend” with a lil pic of him in it (thats so corny lol). or sometimes a jewelry, rings, bracelets, necklaces. he totally spoils his s/o in his own way.

₍⁠₍ 심재윤 ₎⁠₎ jake

“darling, do you think this looks good?”

always asking his s/o opinions on things, doesn't really matter the topic, jake will wants to hear their thoughts on it because he has a lot of faith in their taste.

“i woke up, tidied up the room because yk jay slaves me, so i went out to work, then i came home, but it was too late so i went to dinner [...]”

jake is very open with his s/o, telling them everything, since he thinks it's cool to do so. as he appreciates having a strong link with them, he believes that doing this brings them even closer together.

“BABY YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT JUST HAPPENED”

he just CAN'T be privy to a gossip; he'll quickly relay it to his partner. as soon as he knows something, he just goes there and tells them about it. jake just can't keep secrets from his partner...

₍⁠₍ 양정원 ₎⁠₎ jungwon

“i dreamed about you last night... it was pretty clingy but i like it”

jungwon thinks about his s/o constantly, even when he's sleeping... :( and he makes clear they are aware about it.

“how are you feeling today, darling?”

wonnie is very sensitive to the feelings of his s/o and appreciates that they keep him informed of their concerns and feelings throughout the day.

“better you be careful, i'm going to kidnap you tonight😼”

unplanned little walks through the city at night is something wonnie enjoys doing with his lover in order to easy his mind and feel peaceful.

₍⁠₍ 이희승 ₎⁠₎ heeseung

“i wish you were here...”

many times, as an introvert, heeseung just wants to escape from social events. but tbh, he thinks that if his s/o were around, the whole experience would be better for him.

“i was counting the minutes and seconds to see you”

heeseung is sweet most of the time, and plus, he's very good using words. he also can't just get away from someone he loves so much for too long or he starts to get crazy.

“oh- you want water, baby? don't worry, i got you!”

man simply don't miss a single opportunity to please his partner or just do things for them. they want or need something? heeseung is there doing for them.

₍⁠₍ 박성훈 ₎⁠₎ sunghoon

“you have such a good taste...”

“oh- why do you have a good taste? because you date me, tsk”

hoon is constantly valuing himself, almost as though he enjoys pampering. so he expects his s/o to agree with him that he's a handsome man.

“you look so good today. actually you look good everyday... you're the prettiest, baby”

never disappointing, sunghoon wants his s/o to be always confident about themselves just like he is, so he often compliments them.

“are you feeling good? wants to do something else?”

when he and his s/o goes out, hoon worries if they're enjoying what they're doing. if the crowd seems too loud, sunghoon quickly wants to take his partner from there. he values have a good atmosphere around him and his partner, that's why he gets worried.

₍⁠₍ 박종성 ₎⁠₎ jay

“did you know productivity is a concept created by the capitalism?”

jay is such a nerdy and that's something not much talked about. he is always discovering new things and randomly telling his s/o about it. jay absolutely adores debating, too.

“your eyes are so pretty. for real, the prettiest eyes i've ever seen. they shine with the sunlight... i don't wanna stop look at them.”

also, jay is always noticing every detail about his s/o. be it about their physical characteristics or personality.

“bought this for you since last week i heard you say you wanted this.”

jay literally remembers every last information since he likes to make his partner feel special. jay demonstrates his love by being a devoted person, as you can tell from the bottom of his heart.

# masterlist

[ ★ ] — notes: hey guys, i just created this new thing 'enhypen x-ray' where i'll make posts like this about their acts and behavior.

thank u for reading ! and let me know if you like it :)

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if-whats-new · 2 months

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What's New In IF? Issue 15 (2024)

By Erika, Marjorie, Axelle, and Noi

Now Available!

Itch.io. - Keep Reading below

Want to learn a neat fun fact? Check out the itch.io version ;)

Note: The formatting of the Tumblr version is slightly changing due to the image limit.

~ EDITORIAL ~

The Start of Bigger Things...

We're incredibly excided for this new issue, since we are starting with our series of interviews! We are hoping to include those in as many issues as we possibly can (schedule permitting). So if there are IF people you'd like to read about, let us know!

For this inaugural week, Joey Tanden graciously accepted our invitation, and answered all our burning questions!

From their body of work, to their dev process, Joey revealed it all… …and more!

So check out our Small Talk… with Joey Tanden!

We were so excited to have them inaugurate this new section of the zine. Many heartfelt thanks to Joey Tanden for being taking the plunge with us!

We had so much fun talking with them, and we hope you will enjoy just as much this (quite longer than we expected) interview!

Let's get on with this extra long issue!

ERIKA, MARJORIE, AXELLE, AND NOI

~ ANNOUNCEMENT ~

A REMINDER ABOUT CURRENT CHANGES...

As revealed in our previous issue (#14), and on Tumblr, we have recently enacted big changes with the zine. Along with interviews of authors from all around the IF world, we are opening to doors for all of you to participate in the making of this zine!

We are always looking for new projects and releases, interesting articles or podcasts about IF, events and conferences… Which is why we have an open mini-database, where you can throw us any IF-related things you might come across our way!

With our interview section, we'd love to hear what you would like to learn from our interviewee. From their work to their passion projects, send us all your burning questions! Or tell us who you'd like to see on the zine next!

Do you have a neat topic of a 1~2-page essay? Or do you want to deep-dive into a game and share your findings? Or maybe something entirely different? We'll add extra pages for it if you share it with us!

Contact us through Tumblr asks, Forum DMs, or even by email and we'll to our utmost best to include whatever you send us!

What's New in IF? is expanding! Be part of the movement!

~ EVENT SPOTLIGHT : Decker Fantasy Camp ~

The HyperCard revival!

The Decker Fantasy Camp is a part of a series of unranked game jams organized by Internet Janitor, where participants are tasked to create anything they want with the Decker program (also created by Internet Janitor).

Released in late 2022, Decker is a no-/low-code program to create IF, puzzle games, point-n-click, and anything in between (even lil’ programs)!

Influenced by HyperCard, through its interface and interactivity, Decker lets you create a “deck” of “cards”, on which you can add text, images, sound, and buttons to interact with each other.

Decker also had a fairly extensive documentation with guides and tutorials, as well as a helpful community for any questions or issues.

If you would like to participate in the Decker Fantasy Camp but don't know where to start, you may want to check out the entries to previous jams: Decktember, Decker Fantasy Camp 2023, and Deck-Month.

~ ENDED ~

Last weekend, the Anti-Romance Jam revealed its twelve submissions! Check out the authors’ different take on the theme!

~ ONGOING (VOTING) ~

The 17 entries of the ParserComp are ready to be played and judged! Until the end of July, you can cast your votes!

~ ONGOING (SUBMITTING) ~

Do you understand or write Ukrainian? Until the end of the year, the Ukrainian IF Festival is happening on itch.io! If Visual Novels are more your style, this jam ends in just a week!

There are only a few days left to create an intent to participate at the IFComp (required to submit a game). After that, you'll have to wait a full year! (Or you can look our for beta-openings, create an account to vote when the games are released, or offer prizes!) @ifcomp

Did you submit an intent to the IntroComp? The deadline to submit your prototype is coming up! Don't forget, on July 31st!

Ending tomorrow, a chill IF (text-only) game jam is happening on itch, from the Interactive Fiction Club.

For the francophones, the French IF community is organizing a summer-long camp to create parsers. Join the Confiture de Parser if you're interested!

Until the end of July, a chill IF (text-only) game jam is happening on itch, from the Interactive Fiction Club.

Ending in about a month, is the summer-long unranked SuNoFes Jam (Summer Novel Festival), where you can only submit one IF/VN game!

If it is mechanical restrictions you are looking for, then the Single Choice Jam might be for you. Until mid-August, you can only have one choice! @neointeractives

~ OTHER ~

Over on the IntFiction Forum, the Review-a-thon is continuing its initiative to get more reviews for games. Check out this post by Tabitha if you want to participate! This is also a sponsored event, aiming to raise funds for one of the Forum members.

The Interactive Fiction Showcase is still running! If you have completed an IF piece this year, consider submitting it! It is happening only on itch!

SMALL TALK…

WITH JOEY TANDEN

Joining us today is IF enthusiast, software builder, and game creator: Joey Tanden. Author of I Am Prey, Get Corn and Milliseconds of Romance.

Note: because of the limit of in-line links for posts, please check the PDF/.txt version on itch for the complete list.

Hi Joey, thank you for agreeing to do this interview with us!

Absolutely!! I really love the zine, and it’s an honor to be here!> Shall we start with telling us a bit more about yourself and how you found interactive fiction?

I am a very neurodivergent gamedev who wants to make niche stuff. Most of the time, my work aims to have some combination of accidentally-educational elements, and math-driven science fiction.

I taught myself programming and music production at the age of 10, and I think I played my first IF at the age of 13 or so. It was a parser called TIC Lunatix, written in QBASIC. This was a moment where I realized graphics weren't necessary to make a game, and this changed how I approached a lot of my projects for a while. Instead of assuming that players would be allergic to text (in favor of graphics), I could confidently use both to convey elements of a game.

For a long time, I mostly stayed in visual gamedev, until I realized that the bottleneck sapping all my energy in early project stages was graphics. While I can do 2D and 3D graphics, every single part of the process is extremely taxing. Because of this, I started seriously reconsidering how I did gamedev in 2018, and tried to figure out how to reduce the scope of my ideas and/or restructure them to work with text alone. This is when I started experimenting with a large number of IF systems, including Inform 7, TADS (Adv3 and Adv3Lite), ADRIFT, Quest, QuestJS, and Chapbook [Twine].

It was also around this time that I realized that the IF community is actually quite separate from the rest of gamedev. It has its own authors, audience, traditions, and unspoken knowledge. A lot of IF is extremely beautiful, complex, and varied, and I've noticed how it all seems to pull inspirations from very different spaces and traditions: literature, writer's circles, visual novels, CYOA books, etc. I feel this sense that IF has a clear and separate identity from video games, and my projects seem to sit on a bridge between them.

Around 2022, I decided to stop lurking and start properly interacting with the IF community. I also made a pivotal decision for myself: I must leave graphics behind. Moreover, I wanted to focus on developing turn-based, text-based games for screen reader users in particular, incorporating my background of game design from the visual space, but transformed into something compatible with accessibility technologies.

After I decided to commit to this change, I realized I wasn't just passing through IF: I was here to stay. So I ended my lurker streak at the interactive fiction forums, since that's where people seemed to have a space for discussing new IF authoring systems, and not just existing ones. I was aware of other spaces and communities, too, but the project I was working on at the time was a “parser-lite” engine (and the clumsy predecessor to IF-Octane). I was definitely eyeing SugarCube [Twine] and TADS 3, though, as the forums also had experienced authors for both systems. This was rather handy, since my first attempt at a custom IF engine had quickly burned to the ground, and I needed someone to discuss fallback plans with.

With both experience in traditional and IF gamedev circles, did you notice differences or similarities between those communities? And what lessons did you take from each?

The primary thing I noticed is the IF communities are a lot nicer, on average. There are certainly kind hearts all over visual gamedev, too, but the probability of antagonism and toxicity is still higher there, which means devs are a lot more cautious around their audiences.

The other thing I learned was what “beta” meant in IF. In gamedev, a beta has already been given to testers, and has most of the features implemented; it just needs polish. The practice of having open beta versions of a game, and taking extensive notes on audience feedback, is not just common, it's considered polite, even.

When I entered I Am Prey as a beta version to the Spring Thing, people said it was a terrible idea. Some accused me of trying to disregard criticism by hiding behind a “beta” label. One person told me I would get “eviscerated” for doing this. I was seriously taken aback. Usually an open beta is meant to be a way to engage with the audience and invite them to give input.

After asking around and having a lot of back and forth [with users on the Forum], I've learned that in IF, “beta” or “work in progress” is similar to an “alpha” version from gamedev, where you only have a minimum functioning premise, and it has yet to be fully tested. In the end, I was definitely out of my field, and seemingly speaking a different language.

It didn't stop me from submitting the beta, though!

Another difference is how IF authoring systems tend to strongly specialize around some historical prototype (like Colossal Cave Adventure or Zork), with rather complex opt-out methods to extend past it. Meanwhile, in visual gamedev, you choose between Godot, Unity, Unreal Engine, or some other alternative, where they don’t place awkward barriers on what you're trying to make. Granted, many of these engines do tend to provide plenty of resources for photorealistic first-person shooters in particular, but if you're making something else, then each engine will stand clear of your explorations and plans.

The way IF authoring systems work, by comparison, reminds me more of modding communities, where the specialized environment of a specific game is remixed and extended to create brand-new experiences. I actually grew up modding Doom, so jumping into these aspects of IF felt nostalgic and familiar for me. I just wasn't expecting the workflow similarities to land where they did. It really took me by surprise.

On the other hand, there are also parts where the two spaces overlap: The actual psychology of game design! The difference in mediums, however, still creates a difference in focus and priorities, but that’s expected, really.

One last point about communities. Discussions about how the IF community behaves (or how it should) happen with regularity on the different IF circles. Are there improvements or changes you'd like to see happening?

Honestly, the kinds of people who form the IF communities are so much more welcoming than I could have ever asked for. Sure, every community will have fights or disagreements or problems, but it really feels like the IF crowd has the self-awareness to give a shit about making sure IF keeps flourishing, and that we have the spaces to celebrate it. You might have two people who will start swinging at each other every single time they enter the same room, but they still know to put the knives down and focus when the consequences will affect the wider community. Everyone has proven that IF is a force of nature, and it's here to stay.

Circling back to project development, have you had to learn any hard lessons? Any interesting tales of development missteps you'd like to share?

My entire life is probably one cruel lesson in project management, if I'm honest. I had a rough time in college – in fact, I never finished it. During my moments of peak nervous breakdown, I coped a lot by writing code. Unfortunately, this was way before I learned project management. You know that thing that happens sometimes when your brain suppresses traumatic memories? Well, when you don't write down your dev plans, and you only code during your lowest moments, guess what happens when you step away for, say, a week? That's right: You have zero memory of writing any of that code, and you have no clue how to proceed!

One solution to this (which I woefully disregarded for too long) is something called a “game bible”. When you're going to make a game, you do the math on your mechanics in your game's bible. You write your story in it, you figure out where the story elements will be placed, how the mechanics unfold, how the progression is paced, etc. If someone were to read your game bible, they should know how to make your game, or maybe how to play it like a board game.

This single idea was something I used to disregard as being too constraining. I was too excited to just jump in and make something, yeah? Jumping in works for some people, certainly, but it took me way too long to realize it just didn't work for me.

One part of the game bible process I'm trying to improve on is how to organize what needs to be implemented, and figure out how much relative work those elements will require. Doing this helps me not only prevent scope creep, but also understand if I'm able to downsize the game even further, and save future-me some work.

Let's circle back to your own body of work. Can you tell us a bit more about the games you made so far?

So far, I've only released three games, and only one of them is in its final, finished state.

I Am Prey is a sci-fi parser game about a cat-and-mouse challenge between two genetically-engineered, humanoid hunter-killers, called “clones”. The story takes place in the aftermath of a hostile takeover, and during the dark age of a retaliatory siege. It focuses on evading a tactical opponent, depriving him of clues to your presence, and taking care to use safe routes, or discover hidden ones. This was developed with TADS 3, using a heavily-modified Adv3Lite library. It was submitted to Spring Thing 2023, and is currently in its beta state. Once IF-Octane is feature-complete, the game will be ported and released in its 1.0 state.

Milliseconds of Romance is my first Twine game, submitted to the Smoochie Jam, and features an ecosystem of artificial neural networks, as they learn how to mutually exploit their reward functions, and bring about the collapse of a major technology field. The focus of this game is an interaction between a train schedule monitor and a deep space telescope, told through the lens of a romance story. This was developed with SugarCube, and is in its 1.0 version.

GET CORN is the story of a sex worker, suffering an extreme bout of insomnia as the result of receiving some dire news. Only one thing is clear anymore: Corn will fix everything. Corn must fix everything. This was actually a platform I was using to perform regression tests of the “Inventor Core”, an Adv3Lite fork I made from my I Am Prey code.

Let's focus first on I am Prey, which started your IF publishing journey. Can you guide us through the process of making this game? Any particular difficulty you encountered?

Creating I Am Prey was non-stop at maximum power for about 3 months straight. I knew ahead of time that it was gonna be an enormous challenge, but it was also the target I had picked to prove to myself that I finally figured out how to effectively fight, mitigate, and accommodate my mental illnesses and disabilities.

The whole thing was based on a recurring nightmare I had been having, multiple times a week, for as long as I can remember. I decided to take all of that and make it into a game.

On the first day, I wrote down how the game mechanics would work. The game was originally going to have a dating sim in it, where you could romance the Predator, but as the characters and setting started to solidify outside the recurring nightmare, I decided to ditch the romance angle for a simpler and focused gameplay loop, which would also stay true to the characters.

I then created a features checklist with an “estimated effort magnitude” score (which, to the surprise of nobody, was a low-ball guess to how much effort it would truly require). My wonderful partners then converted this checklist to a fun progress meter on a whiteboard, which I could fill up as I went.

Throughout the process of making this game, I was also gaining a deep understanding of how TADS and Adv3Lite worked, and there was this effect of “old strategies look weird, now that I know what I'm doing, but it's a bit too late to rewrite them now”.

Strangely enough, parkour and doors were the most difficult parts of this. I have a lot of experience and knowledge in the creation of computer opponents and agents in games, so the Predator logic was very straightforward to implement, and I saved that for last.

The “parkour system”, used for defining climb routes, took much longer than expected. I had to completely rewrite the whole thing, after spending over a month on the first iteration. The mechanic played the exact same way, but the structure of the code itself was so unwieldy that I knew it would ruin my chances of finishing on time. So, after thinking over how the player would interact with the map and the climbing mechanics, I figured out how to make the code simpler.

I actually implemented Cat Mode first, because I needed a good way to test parkour. A close friend of mine is a professional games tester, and he tested these mechanics with the thorough power of a scientist. My plan was to get the main bugs out, then send it to testers from the IF space, but I would need a reason to not have the Predator chasing the player yet. Thus: Cat Mode!

The doors were mostly difficult because the parkour system partially redefined the rules of Adv3Lite’s world model, and how the player interacts with it. On top of this, doors were a major part of the stealth mechanics; the Predator needs to know how to determine if the current state of a door is suspicious or not (like seeing an open door he had previously closed). A lot of door-related logic is actually handled by the doors in the code, and not directly by the Predator. It’s almost like the doors are conspiring against the player, lol. This was horrendous to test, and I still think there might be a bug or four, lingering in there…

The sound propagation system was something that seemed like it would be the hardest part ever, but something about it just… clicked for me, and it became simple, though tedious. Sound propagation is still bugged in the main hallways, and I'm deeply sorry about that. I wish I would have caught that one sooner, but one of the catastrophic consequences regarding the incompatible state of the Inventor Core with the current Adv3lite version, is that releasing bug fixes is now incomprehensibly convoluted – which is one of my primary motives for switching over to IF-Octane. So, now I just sit here, haunted by these lingering bugs in the beta, and remind myself that the 1.0 release will clear my name.

When I say that writing the Predator's logic was done last, I mean it. It was down to the wire. None of the IF testers ever saw him. It almost turned out that no testers were gonna see him, actually. The only tester who did was my close friend, and he saw him on Spring Thing submission day.

I was writing the survival guide, hours before the deadline. Meanwhile, my friend was on a Discord call, one of my partners sat beside me on a laptop, and both were playing a copy of the latest version. My friend was trying to break the Predator, while my partner was trying to break the furniture in Cat Mode. Every time either person found a bug, they would call it out, and I would tab over to the source code, fix it, recompile it, and email out the new version. Both would then continue testing while I continued writing the guide. When there was less than an hour left, both of my partners and my friend urged me to submit whatever I had, because I needed to accommodate delays in packaging (like typing submission info, etc).

Once it was all done and sent off to the competition, my partners made me promise that I would not subject myself to insane hours of nonstop coding for months on end ever again.

The primary thing which had hindered me most, throughout all of this, was learning all the community norms. Luckily for me, Pinkunz was there to graciously and patiently guide and educate me on parser history and player expectations.

After the Spring Thing, I made the source code public for Code Amnesty Day.

You continued on still with TADS by making GET CORN. We understand that while this used to be the go-to engine to create IF games, it is not particularly popular nowadays. What attracted you to TADS over other parser systems? Would you recommend it to future IF creators?

What drew me to TADS was that it didn't seem to have a specific game in mind. In my experience, Inform will fight you if you don't want to use the default world model or if you don't plan to follow the standard parser gameplay design. I've also had similar problems (to more extreme degrees) with both ADRIFT and Quest.

TADS offers a template, if you're making a standard parser game, but if you want to use a completely different world model, a different kind of interface, or an entirely different set of game mechanics, then TADS will stand aside and let you, all with the smoothness of a general-purpose game engine. Every single element of TADS is optional. The idea of a room, a travel connection, or an inventory object is just part of the parser template. The modify keyword also lets you directly edit any elements from any included library (like the old Adv3 library, or the actively-maintained Adv3Lite library), without needing to overwrite anything with duplicate code.

Most importantly: I eat and breathe code, and the syntax of TADS is extremely familiar and comfortable for me to use.

If you are a parser author, or have an interest in game engines, I urge you to look into TADS 3. You don't need to switch to TADS 3 or even make a game in it! Just take a little tour! There are only a small handful of TADS 3 authors left, and they're not only quite helpful, but also making some incredible things with it; way more than I ever could.

Maybe I'm wrestling with ghosts here, but it really feels like TADS 3 is widely seen as a mutant Inform/Z-Machine clone; people seem to only talk about it in Inform terms, but it’s so much more flexible than anyone realizes, and it feels like it is fighting to stay relevant because of the assumptions made about it.

TADS 3 is not just a parser system; its code syntax makes it convenient for developing any text-based software, like IF. It could be a parser, but it could also be a clickable choice-based system. If you have an HTML TADS interpreter, then it even natively has multimedia support, webpage-like layouts, hyperlinks, and buttons! The depth an author is able to reach to change core functionality is frankly mind-blowing.

Even if you never use TADS 3, then it is still incredibly important to me that awareness is raised about how much TADS differs from the rest of the parser ecosystem. TADS is, in many ways, a sort of bridge between the web-based systems that we see in Twine, and interpreter-based systems that we see in parsers. It has historical significance that is worthy of being learned, just for the sake of awareness.

I've seen both parser and Twine authors hop over to TADS for a project or five. Here’s hoping one of your readers does too!

While I was pulled away from it with my fists swinging, and my teeth clamped around my dear friends, who were there to help me make an extremely difficult tech stack decision, I’ll keep cheering on. Whatever the future holds for TADS, I want people to know more clearly what it can do. If there is a resurgence (or enduring number) of TADS authors, then hopefully players can have a clearer appreciation for its development process and capabilities. If (worst-case scenario) the IF community abandons it, then I want people to know exactly what they have abandoned.

I could go on in much more detail, but that would take a whole second interview, and I can already hear a few specific people out there groaning about me getting all fired up about this again. This concludes the brief, manic shouting section of the interview, lol.

Speaking of GET CORN, what was your motivation behind making this game? It is not usual to see a parser release outside of competitions or game jams nowadays, especially short ones, so why the independent release?

My motivation to create GET CORN was this deep need to convey an experience I had, and also to put my Inventor Core to the test with something that wasn't I Am Prey. A few days before, I had a really extreme and extended bout of insomnia (for reasons unrelated to the game's own premise), and eventually it ended with me, laying in bed at 5pm, still unable to sleep. I sat upright, and knew what I had to do. I remembered there was a container of corn in the fridge, and my entire world became singularly fixated on this. I got out of bed, went downstairs, opened the container, and ate the whole thing. When I went back upstairs, I immediately passed out and finally got some real sleep for the first time in days.

The whole game was made in a single evening, and it shows, lol. Something about that experience of insomnia seemed like it could interest a player, so I decided I had my next test subject for the Inventor Core. As a side note: I started getting some major tech stack woes at this point, and this is what finally kicked me into creating IF-Octane.

GET CORN was originally a closed project, which only a handful of people had access to, but then it was made public to allow How Prince Quisbourne the Feckless Shook His Title to be in the running for Outstanding TADS Game for the 2023 IFDB Awards. That required a minimum number of TADS games to be released that year to even allow the category to exist at all, and I was going to raise Hell On Earth if John Ziegler's work missed out on this opportunity, simply because only two other TADS games were published that year.

This is unlikely to be updated or ported when IF-Octane is done. To be perfectly honest, I had a wonderful, giggly couple of hours, watching the Club Floyd players break every single part of the game. That was more joy than I could have ever intentionally put into its design.

You've mentioned IF-Octane quite a bit so far, so let’s get into this custom IF engine that you created from scratch. Why go through the troubles when there are hundreds of IF programs out there? Why not simply improve Inventor Core as an extension of TADS?

The question of why I'm making IF-Octane has a long answer, so strap in and get comfy, lol.

The main problem is that I had difficulties even finding a parser system that would let me make the kinds of games I had planned, without resorting to deep-buried tricks, seemingly-secret rituals, or convoluted illusions of functionality. This is why I chose TADS to begin with.

However, while TADS solves a ton of problems, the current state of available TADS interpreters [at time of interview] creates a number of deal-breakers.

First of all, the creator of TADS has vanished. He decided he wanted to step away from the IF community for personal reasons, and went radio-silent. The difficulty here is that he had created TADS with a license which makes it really difficult to maintain and update the interpreters, so we're currently in a spot where the tech is almost frozen in time.

Secondly, there are currently no interpreters that support TADS 3 to its maximal extent (meaning: HTML formatting, multimedia, and screen readers). Standard TADS can run on a wide number of interpreters (but only supports minimal styling). WebUI TADS requires a network connection through one specific interpreter (but allows for multiplayer). HTML TADS, by comparison, includes all of the missing interface features, but relies on interpreters like QTADS, which do not support screen readers properly. This creates an accessibility problem, at minimum. Sound design is also incredibly important to me, so I had envisioned creating this whole soundscape experience for screen reader users (with volume controls, of course). With any expansion to handle HTML TADS, though, there are always questions about feasibility, both technically and legally.

Finding an interpreter, which is required to play parsers, isn't very intuitive for a lot of new players, either, especially for those who are on mobile devices. This is why Parchment reigns supreme lately; you can pick a parser game on the IFDB, and play it in a webpage. No downloads, no installation, no fuss or hassle.

The next issue is the unstable way I went about making the Inventor Core. It's built atop Adv3Lite through a very convoluted patchwork of modify statements and partial rewrites, which is okay for small edits, but far less okay for massive changes.

Normally, everything would be fine, but with Eric Eve continuing to build and improve Adv3Lite, this means the foundation under the Inventor Core has active tectonics. We also recently had a community member, Harlock, who seemingly combed through every single line of code in Adv3Lite, and found a lot of really deep mini-bugs that Eric happily fixed, which means everyone's Adv3Lite-based games will be more stable.

Except for mine, eheh.

There is an unknown number of parts in the Inventor Core which apparently depend on these bugs being present, even if those bugs were also causing other problems. I would have loved to figure out what all the changed behaviors are, and update the Inventor Core to use this more-stable Adv3Lite version, but the debug tools stopped being able to trace the problems’ sources. So, it started looking more and more like a complete rewrite was necessary.

Then, we have the problem of how the interface of a game is deeply linked to its intended style of gameplay. I Am Prey is not supposed to be a puzzle game, but the obscurity of the parser interface adds this puzzle-branded mystery, meaning the player has no idea of what is possible, but this creates a design problem: The player’s ability to plan and execute (against an opponent!!) is hindered. So, I wrote a whole survival guide, listing what verbs are used in the game, as well as other hints and guidelines, all to make up for the side-effects of using a parser. This is a likely failure on my part for not choosing a better interface for the mechanics, and, ideally, I’d use something with the world model complexity of a parser, but a clickable interface closer to a Twine game.

While TADS is perfectly capable of handling this, I was also left with the disparity between the Inventor Core and Adv3Lite, the spotty screen reader compatibility across interpreters, and the varying levels of support for HTML TADS 3. It should not be possible for a new player to have picked the wrong interpreter, and these design goals were turning this possibility into a minefield of bad compromises.

Finally, I had a specific, all-in-one-file deployment goal. If you want to play I Am Prey, you would just need its singular game file. It would open in your web browser, and the entire experience would be right there: full screen reader compatibility, and running on both mobile and desktop. This could be done in Twine, probably, but I had a very specific interface and structure in mind, and it would be easier to start from a blank canvas, and keep my metaphorical workspace clean.

My uncompromising demands coalesced into a plan for an all-in-one webpage format, putting screen reader users first, and working identically on all platforms and browsers. In addition to this, the build process should also be able to create a NodeJS version, which can run in a terminal over an SSH connection (with no audio features). I would not be using graphical elements in my games, I knew what audio systems I would need, I knew what sorts of gameplay my future ideas would use, and I knew what interface would support them best.

It became crystal clear very quickly that the simplest solution to this incredible degree of neurotic engineering constraints was to make my own game engine. It might not be as visually-impressive as a Twine game, but it will be accessible, even if the user prefers TalkBack on Firefox for Android, and that's what is most important to me.

Speaking of accessibility, what is your view on including walkthroughs in games? Many of us have struggled with parsers, especially older or more classical ones because of this lack of guidance.

I wholeheartedly support walkthroughs for the same reason why I wholeheartedly support story modes and let's-plays in the visual game space. There are many ways a game can be appreciated and examined, and these do not require someone to directly play it. I also have a whole rant about how the tradition-oriented gameplay assumptions around parsers basically strand anyone who's new to playing them, but I'll spare your readers, lol.

Since the release of GET CORN last October, which was your catalyst for creating IF-Octane, how is this project currently going? When could we expect seeing a release or a playable demo with the engine?

At this time, I have some of the foundation pieces in place, and an 85%-complete sound management system. I need to rework the action handling system, but I don't have much implemented code in that direction yet.

Currently, the major obstacle is my mistake of writing my own build code. Dannii introduced me to what's called a “bundler”, which is also compatible with Typescript, so my next big task is converting the project from JavaScript to Typescript and replacing most of the old build process with the bundler. I'm also solving some mysteries I was facing regarding how the NodeJS version would work.

The biggest sources of delays, however, are mostly personal life events. I've been struggling a lot with physical and mental health difficulties, and a bunch of other stuff has moved from “background” to “foreground” stressor. Ironically, by comparison, the actual technical side of the challenge isn't much of a challenge.

If I'm being optimistic, the first IF-Octane game, Silverbacks, will be done in a year. If I'm being realistic, it is more likely it would take four years. I really hope it won't be that long, but the creation of art typically requires the survival of the artist.

On the bright side, though, a lot of my games will have overlapping elements, so once Silverbacks is released, I Am Prey 1.0 will be out shortly after that, and my other games will follow pretty close in time, too (hopefully). I plan to have a sort of “brand”, regarding how my games will play, so making a specialized engine (which might not be too useful for other authors) is an acceptable cost of doing this.

Speaking of Silverbacks, any chance we get to learn a bit more about it?

I'm known to be a bit secretive of this project so far, just because it's gonna be really funny to say I made a game like this in a turn-based, text-based format. There are some people who I've told more than others, but so far I have two public hints out there:

It has something to do with airplanes.

The primary theme will be about the cycle of an old victor being dethroned by a new one.

Depending on how deep people want to search, more clues might be scattered around~ ^^

For now, I have the entirety of the game's story and mechanics fully planned out, so it just needs the engine.

While it is more common for authors to stick with just one program when making IF, you did branch out this year by releasing Milliseconds of Romance, which you did with Twine rather than TADS. So why the switch? How different was it working with a choice program compared to parser (planning, coding, etc…)?

For Milliseconds of Romance, I felt like Twine would be a much better system than TADS (tried, but ran into problems), simply because I was aiming for more of a kinetic fiction, and Twine encapsulates that format better, especially if you want more interactivity than static fiction, but more of a tightly-structured narrative focus than a parser. Also, I've always really wanted to learn Twine, lol.

This story was actually going to be a small novel, but I just couldn't figure out how to tell it at the scope I had planned for. The idea was in deep storage for a long time, until the [Smoochie] jam was announced, and I realized I had a scene from this story that would be really fun to submit as a kinetic fic.

I actually have another Twine WIP sitting in storage, at the moment, and will probably create more Twine games in the future, too! It has a sort of streamlined workflow, which lets ideas roll out of me more easily.

In all your games so far, we noticed the portrayed characters to showcase either some form of neurodivergent or non-typical behavior, from Prey and Predator's (lack of) interactions, Tresys's machine-like reasoning, and GET CORN's PC hyperfocus on their goal. Do you think your games, especially the way you write characters, are heavily influenced by your identity and interactions? If so, is there a particular reason for this?

Something I noticed about my autism is that it not only strongly biases how I write characters, but also gives me an interesting perspective, regarding fiction.

I've always had a lot of difficulty connecting with most characters in a story. Recently, I've discovered that this might be caused by my inability to understand why a character is feeling certain things or what is motivating them. A lot of times, a character is neurotypical in a story, and it's very difficult to make sense of what they're thinking or feeling, and I think authors don't explicitly write this in detail, because a neurotypical reader is meant to intuit that. I'm not wielding this as a criticism against literature or anything, but I still understand why I'm in this predicament, all the same.

For a reader like me, I feel completely lost. For a writer like me, I felt nervous or ashamed about my autism influencing how I write my own characters, and how someone might conclude that I just don't know how to write them “correctly”.

Then, I found Blindsight by Peter Watts, which featured exclusively neurodivergent characters, and unexpectedly the wildest thing clicked within me: I understood what was happening. I understood the characters. I understood their motivations. I suddenly felt that excitement!

After that, I decided to be completely shameless about how divergent my characters were. If I could write someone who would be misunderstood by 80% of readers, but deeply connect with somebody out there, then that's a victory. We deserve to have fiction about us, too.

A lot of my characters, for this reason, tend to be autistic or struggle with ADHD. Other characters might require a ton of research and note-taking, but I write them to honor those I love. These characters can (and will often) have ASPD, schizophrenia, plurality, Down's syndrome, William's syndrome, NPD, FASD, etc.

Predator and Prey both have a pathology that is meant to be wholly fictional, and expressed according to a specific internal logic. However, these characters still show some traits found in autism or ASPD, much in the way that autism and ADHD can find common ground. It was absolutely crucial to me to communicate early on that these characters have mindsets which many players could find deeply unintuitive, and that a sudden lapse in understanding from the player may simply be a result of me maintaining their “authenticity”, as far as that term can be applied to a fictional pathology.

There is something I find overwhelmingly comforting and compelling about characters who demolish common social assumptions, and/or challenge the dangerous tribalism and expectations from the typical model of “empathy”.

Milliseconds of Romance is the extreme example of this. A Tresys does not feel as a human does. It is a quasi-organic array of artificial neurons chasing a reward function. It has more in common with plant life than human life. But does that mean a reader shouldn't care? Does that mean such a character has no value? Absolutely not! Even if I do not understand neurotypical characters, I still read their stories. I don't follow their motivations, but I still appreciate their victories when they cheer.

A character should not have to meet some minimum amount of personal similarity before a reader or player is supposed to care.

It is clear from us your games are connecting with somebody out there, like with our very own Axelle, but what were IF games that you really connected yourself with? Any games you would recommend to our readers?

One standout IF which hit me straight in the heart is Choice of Robots by Kevin Gold. Oh my gawd. I was screaming when that game ended. In really hyper-specific ways, I felt extremely seen in that game. I could go on for many paragraphs, but I really don't want to spoil it for anyone who hasn't played it yet. That game is a shining example of sticking to the vision.

While it's not a matter of character connection, another game that really hit me is Trenchline by JJ McC. It's a really excellent story of a lone character trying to escape a hideous environment. The pacing is really fluid and smooth, and really hits the “aha!” button. When I was done, I had to just… sit there for a moment, and appreciate how cohesive it was. Idk, maybe it is a character thing; I tend to see the setting of a story as its own character, after all.

A burning but strange questions: we assumed Tanden isn't your last real name (tanden = teeth in Dutch). Any particular reason for this choice?

You assume correctly, lol. Teeth are a major mythological symbol in a massive, long-time science fiction worldbuilding project of mine. Most cultures in the story do not seem to have religions following the Abrahamic model; they mostly tend to resemble the Pagan model instead. However, one major symbol that seems to be present in most of these religions is the ominous sight of teeth, barely visible beyond the firelight. All of them have this in common, and how that came to be is an ancient mystery.

Also, my mother is Dutch, so I thought it'd be fun to pick “Tanden”, and then make anyone familiar with how that translates wonder why the hell I would name myself after teeth, lol. Meanwhile, everyone else is like “ah, yes, this name seems legit”. ^^

Where can our readers find you, and follow your projects?

I don't really have a social media presence. >> It's more like I leave stuff at your doormat and ring the bell before running away, lol. I kinda fly under the radar on most sites. You can find me either in the Neo-Interactives (@neointeractives) Discord server (username The Inventor), or the IntFiction forums, though~!

HUGE THANKS TO JOEY TANDEN FOR SITTING DOWN WITH US AND TELLING US EVERYTHING!!

~ NEW RELEASE ~

you have created a monster (Twine) is short game about bout love, fear, destruction, and monsters - with many endings. @softest-punk

Death and Cards (Twine) is a short game about death and one's deepest desires.

Untitled Relationship Project (Inform) is a short piece about relationships, explored through tiny snippets, by clicking on the text. @mathbrush

Tribute (Godot) is an experimental fantasy game where you play as a mercenary. @beastinthecave

looking for a little hope (Twine) is a Disco Elysium fanfic set after the game's end. @deadcryptid

One Day (Twine) is a slice-of-life piece where you spend a whole day as a regular worker.

There was one a [noun] from [location] (Ink) is choose-your-own-poem piece.

Romeo and Juliet Throw Bricks at the Cops (Ink) is a modern-day retelling of the Shakespeare play.

Indeterminate (Unity) is multi-ending branching prototype.

The Little Match Girl 5 (Inform) is the next instalment of the LMG series, set a few years after the vents of 4.

As always, don't forget to check out the submitted entries to the events mentioned in the previous pages. They deserve some love too!

~ NEW RELEASE (WIP) ~

Haunted (Twine) is a horror mystery project, where you aim to rescue your sister from a very dangerous place.

The Ascendant (CScript) is a high-fantasy project where humans have an affinity to “Arts”.

Faewild (CScript) is a fantasy project where you play a human stuck in the fae court, forced to deal with intrigue to save your life. @faewildif

Van Helsing (Twine) puts you in the shoes of the eponymous character, tasked to save the world from extinction. @vanhelsing-if

Dancetale (Twine) is another installment of the Underfell series, inspired by the Undertale game, where you play as a ballerina. @darkpetal16

~ GAMES UPDATES ~

Our Life: Now and Forever (Ren’Py) updated the Patreon demo. @gb-patch

Misplaced (Twine) added its seventh chapter to the demo. @calliopefiction

Thicker Than (CScript) added extra content to Chapter 10. @barbwritesstuff

We wretched Creatures (CScript)'s demo now includes extra content. @darkfictionjude

The Soul Stone War (CScript) added extra scenes to the Early Access demo. @intimidatingpuffinstudios

Wake to Weep (CScript) completed its re-writes of the first chapters.

Lies & Legalities (CScript) completed its first chapter. Website:

God Cursed (Twine) updated the demo with Chapter 4. @wings-of-ink

Crystals of Aequarin (Twine) added extra content to the demo. @crystalsofaequarin

The In-Between (CScript) added Chapter 6 to the demo. Website:

Black Flag (Twine) updated with extra content to the demo. @black-flag-if

The Story of Sin (Twine) has released a new chapter. @devilishmango

Song of the Fallen (CScript) added two chapters and a half to the demo.

~ OTHER ~

Released recently was the newest issue of the Club de Aventuras AD fanzine. 128 pages of text-adventure content to enjoy (if you can read Spanish). Between interviews and deep-dive into old and new releases, check out the CAAD #64!

Save the Villainess (REn’Py) just opened its Kickstarter campaign! The demo is available for download and play on itch. @bestlaidplansproductions

Ahead of their respective releases, interviews with Benjamin Rosenbaum (@plausible-fabulist), author of The Ghost and the Golem (CScript), and Drew Morrison, author of Bootlegger: Moonshine Empire (CScript), were published.

First released during the SpringThing, Ink and Intrigue (CScript) is looking for beta testers, as it will soon be released for Heart's Choice. @leiatalon

Over on the IntFiction Forum, user mathbrush looked at more XYZZY winners: Crème de la Crème, Vampire: The Masquerade, According to Cain, and What Heart Heard Of, Ghost Guessed. Websites:

As always, we apologize in advance for missing any update or release from the past week. We are only volunteers using their limited free time to find as much as we can - but sometimes things pass through the cracks.

If you think something should have been included in this week's zine but did not appear, please shoot us a message! We'll do our best to add it next week! And if you know oncoming news, add it here!

~ HIGHLIGHT ON ~

A couple of games that we thought were cool.

winter by @communistsister and Elliot Herriman (Ink - itch.io - IFDB)

“An incredible experience. It broke me to the core and rebuilt me from nothing. The dithering images moving the mouse is so raw and uncomfortable. The prose is impeccably dark. One of the most, if not the most fascinating game I have ever played.”

//submitted by PhysPhysical//

Narcisse by A. Villarroel (@iamthesloth) and Breezy (@ilovemyzombiegf) (Ren'Py - itch.io)

A short conversation between one who can't leave and one who can't stay. Even with the limitations of the O2A2 jam, it manages to be very emotionally charged and pull heartstrings.

//recommended by anonymous//

Midnight. Swordfight by Chandler Groover (Inform 7 - Web - IFDB)

“I really didn't get the appeal for this game for a long while, because I couldn't manage to get anywhere except the dud end. But it is truly a masterclass of multi-ending puzzle parser! So so good! With so few commands, it still flips everything I knew about parsers on its head. Just an advice: really examine the playscript!” Walkthrough

//submitted by Jess//

Your favourite game here?

Do you have a favourite game that deserve some highlighting? A old or recent game that wowed you so much you spam it to everyone? Tell us about it! And it might appear here!

WE LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU ALL! WETHER IT'S GOOD OR BAD, OR EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN...

Thank you for doing what you did. I like interactive fictions, and because of you I discover some that would have been missed if I didn’t read your posts. i would like to see an issue discussing specific genre, or opinion column someday! - Moth

Do you know HOW EXCITED I was to read you were going to do interviews?!?!?! I hope [redacted] would agree to do it! They are honestly the best! - anonymous

Found you on the Choice Forums! Didn't know there was so many people making Interactive Fiction outside, and so many different kinds! There is so much to go through and look forward, it's a bit overwhelming… and exciting! - anonymous

Does anyone know of good articles about the history of IF? Wikipedia is kind of glossing over the past 90s era, but it's the one I am most interested with… - Rich

Can I thank Jinx/LapinLunaire (@lapinlunaire-games) for organising the Anti-Romance Jam again? I wasn't able to submit anything before the deadline again, but that jam is honestly so much fun! It's gotten me so inspired! And Jinx is so freaking nice! - anonymous

Thanks y’all for making the database! And editing it pretty regularly. So many new accounts followed ~ ~ ~ - anonymous

Have something to say? Send us a message entitled: Zine Letter!

Before we end this issue, we would like to thank:

@elegantunknownphantom, Jess, Moth, PhysPhysical, Rich, @terrestrialcetacean, and a bunch of you anonymous helpers!

Sent news, helpful tips, cool links, filled form, written Sheet line, even emails… all these help us so much to make this Zine possible!

To the wonderful users who sent us cool recommendations, thank you! We will do our best to include them in the next issues!

And as always, huge thanks to all you readers to liked, shared, and commented on last week's issue! What might be tiny actions are huge support and motivators to us! Thank you for cheering us on this journey!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

As final parting words, we would like to hint at a major addition a future issue:

Alien catgirl, prolific VN author, event organizer, Catsket (@catskets) is our next guest on Small Talk…!

Want to know more about their work? How they came into IF? Or their game dev experiences? Send us all your burning questions!

And see you again next week!

ERIKA, MARJORIE, AXELLE, AND NOI

WHAT'S NEW IN IF? 2024-ISSUE 15

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sgdlr-asdfghjkl · 2 months

Text

Link Click Musical update 180 🌟🌟🌟

(LC-mu postcard project🎉 + summary of BilibiliWorld videos: musical actors meeting VAs trio and Wang Minhui's vlog ✨)

Hello! This will be quite unusual update, since I want to report about our fan project. But also, to make up for my inactivity, I bring lots of tasty treats for you >:3

Links in replies: meeting of LC donghua voice actors trio and LC musical trio at BilibiliWorld event, Wang Minhui's vlog from there, 1h+ livestream from the entire LC musical segment + google drive link where you can download the postcard illustrations and print it for yourself 😘

OKAY 🏃‍♂️✨

LC-mu postcard project summary

A fellow lc musical enjoyer friend, Vale (@/_Setsuna_iro_ on twt & @/setsuna_cos on ig, follow her for great cosplays!) reached out, said she'll be visiting China and considers going to see the play. So OF COURSE I got hyped up about it 😤

I wanted to arrange a postcard for her to give away after the performance (like we did with Elara for 100th performance). To let the actors and Chinese audience know we appreciate the musical ^^ There was no better person to ask for help than a legend, an icon, a master of musical-inspired LC fanarts @wrathyforest 🙇‍♂️💖

🤲BEHOLD🤲

So Forest drew this amazing✨ illustration 🙇‍♂️ (and yes, you can download it and print it too!). I only suggested some details like adding XiaoJuan pig squishie and Zhang Jiahao eating a chicken leg (from 100th special encore).

As for my contribution I did the design on a back (based on the official lyrics book style) and the lil actor doodles. I collected the 42 names of countries from the international LC musical fans. And handled the communication and logistics between all of us ><

Props to Vale for translating the note to Chinese 🙏 the actors and audience got it in Chinese, but you can read it and print in in English ^^ And thanks to @elaraqwqfor all the practical advice about the theatre etiquette and navigation haha 🙏

When time agent Vale rests (and no longer struggles with Chinese firewall ><") I'll try to share more info from her about the musical itself. For now have photos our spy took >:3

That's the Shanghai Great World, an amusement centre building where the Time Theatre is located. We rarely think outside the 'microvawe oven' of lc musical set, so I think it's interesting to see ;>

A photo wall with the cast behind the scenes and guests (can you spot director Haolin? ehee). And a fascinating (to me at least) corner where the audience can leave all the fanmade freebies. Like merch celebrating actor's birthdays or performance milestones. The fans go out of their way and make all sorts of things to share, like badges, facemasks with prints, keychains, acrylic stands, prints, stickers, I even saw cookies with chibi actors printed on them ><

I personally find this part of fan culture around the Chinese musical theatre really heartwarming and inspiring ^^ Maybe bc culture around theatre in my country feels very posh and stuck up, snobbish even. So I have lots of love and respect to Chinese theatre fans for making their passion feel welcoming and simply fun 🌟

Again, huge thanks to all my lovely LC friends, Forest, Vale and Elara for making this project possible 😘💙💛

MOVING ON 🏃‍♂️✨

Link Click Musical panel on BilibiliWorld 2024 convention

For context, this convention is huge (esp when you remember Bilibili is like Chinese ver of youtube, twitch, netflix, crunchyroll and webtoon at once). Li Haolin had his panel there, as well as donghua VAs (that's how they managed to meet, VAs had their panel on same day musical actors came for rehearsal).

So there is an entire 1h+ video from the panel with LC-mu 'representative lineup' Deng Xianling, Cai Qi and Wang Minhui. I'll link it, you can watch it. It's all in Chinese ofc but it's still fun, bc they do lots of games focused on singing songs that you should be able to recognise by now ;>

A summary of the panel:

1st game: they each get the first lines their characters sing in the play and have to fill out the blank lyrics

then they do slightly extended ver of 'You can forget about it' ('sofa song')

2nd game: they get a line from a lc musical song to sing, each actor with different twist; dxl has to do a dialect version, cq does the singing to a different melody, and wmh does the 'translation accent' (not sure what it is, I'm guessing it's changing the accentuation on words?)

3rd game: is blindfold basketball with third person directing the one that's shooting, so a cooperation game ^^'

4th game: they listen to the music and when it stops they have to sing the next lines (this part was GREAT bc we get crumbs from main plot songs AND we get to hear actors sing a capella AND there is a banger part where wmh and cq sing in unison 😔👌)

5th game: doing 'Dive back in time' tutting at varied speed (it's funny & impressive how they switch from 2x speed to 0.5x without an issue)

and I lost a count (this video is long and in chinese, forgive me) but by the end, there is also a part where each actor has to say something in character, they chose from categories: A) Exclusive video for waking up - cq, B) Exclusive video to put you to sleep -wmh, C) 'Mood Tips' Video - dxl :> (Lu Guang got very in character, short line, don't get excited)

OKAY NEXT 🏃‍♂️✨✨

Voice Actors encounter (Li Shimeng, Su Shangqing, Yang Tianxiang) summary

All credit goes to my Chinese friend Yksim (@/treeshu3426 on twt) for translating and summarising the entire video to me 🙏🙇‍♂️💖

Video has 2 main parts: voice actors giving tips about delivering lines and musical actors teaching them to sing songs. Yang Tianxiang first suggest that musical actors teach vocal actors how to sing. He asks how to sing "我只能预测十二个小时" ('I can only predict 12 hours...', a part from M01 'Time Travel', the first song). Wmh and cq sing it but ytx finds it too hard to follow, gives up and says sth like 'aigh maybe we should start from voice acting' ><. So they first give wmh and cq some tips about how to say lines.

Wang Minhui shares that the producer of LC musical (I'm guessing it was Chen Xiaoyi 🙏) sent him a video compilation of canon Lu Guang calling cxs idiot, childish etc. (as learning material). And he asked ytx to say some for him XDD which the other delivers 👌

Li Shimeng gives Qiao Ling performance. She first acted how to scold cxs and then how to comfort him 🥺 Everyone compliments her, she's great orz

After that ytx seems to be answering wmh's question how to say lines. He said: 'We have to relax our throats. It is also like singing. You have to make yourself comfortable. You don't have to pursue to make your voice very like my voice. I think we are two different Lu Guangs. ' (meaning the range, because wmh's voice is very high pitch comparing to ytx's voice)

Yang Tianxiang asks Su Shangqing for his input and ssq says: 'You can make it natural and like in daily life. Actually voice acting allows you to express a variety of precise emotions within a very limited range of ups and downs. It will be harder than no limits. 其实会比你可以完全释放手脚难 (this sentence translates weirdly so have a transcript) After you get hold of the character's main characteristics, you can relax and do what you want to express.'

Then is time for a singing part. Cai Qi sings a bit from 'Words can't convey the love' for ssq. Which ssq says is too hard >< ytx says 'But this song fits you.'

Wang Minhui sings a crumb of main plot song called 'Broken time' (fully translated by Micha here 💙) It's a very hard and high pitch big song full of emotions that happens after a quarrel with cxs. Yang Tianxiang is impressed ><

VA's strongest soldier enters the ring after ytx says: 'I think Li Shimeng is the best singer among three of us.' So Cai Qi teaches lsm some QL's lines from the beginning of 'You can forget about it' (QL starts it in main plot ver). She repeats after him and sounds wonderful ✨💅

And finally, Deng Xianling arrives from the other musical's rehearsal (on weibo she 'cries' she had to buy wmh a drink as an apology for being late ><'). Her voice is beautiful nevertheless. She sings the same part that cq started teaching ;>

Then they take photos together and say goodbyes 🥰

WHICH IS A PERFECT SEGWAY 🏃‍♂️✨✨✨

This one I deciphered myself by google translating subtitles. But please watch it yourself! It's adorable even if you don't speak Chinese

Wang Minhui's vlog from BilibiliWorld

You may think he'd do sth short, similar to Cai Qi's vlog from the event, but no. Not the yapperton3000, Kamen Rider enjoyer, mister I-watch-more-anime-than-Niebo (I just adore this guy, ok? and you will too. Now.)

Nah, he will give us a tour 😎✨

It starts with him saying he's going on a rehearsal, then a short compilation from that day where they practiced and met VAs. As you can see he and ytx exchanged contact info :>

After teasing dxl for being late it's fast forward to next day, the day of their performance. He beelines straight to the artist/merch area 🙇‍♂️ He points at almost every alley and says stuff like:

'Take a look at the Honkai Star Railway theme area! Sorry but I don't play hehe' 'Jian Wang 3 theme area, I used to play. I remember when I got into the trap, brought in at my university, my college friends were playing.' *points at a fancy dress at some sort of haute couture cosplay booth* 'Guo Hongxu would look good in this' (ghx commented the vid with a photo of himself swinging an axe with 'Where are you? I brought you a gift 🙂')

Then he comes home 😌 The Link Click themed alley 💙💛

He looks at Lu Guang merch which is-😭💗 *clenches my heart* and talks how he's excited to wear lg's wig already.

⬆ Interesting thing about these shiguang cutouts, that cn friends Bō🐼 and Yksim pointed out, is that they are a signposts promoting a Chengguang/程光 ship specific event. Recently there was a separate exhibition/fan event focused on uh, you know, top!cxs x bottom!lg, (not necessarily explicit but very much about the romantic coupling) and they had a booth LC alley in BilibiliWorld too.

And no, it's impossible he's clueless about it. You'll see he knows his donghua&anime + they had huge signs with ship name and friends tell me he must've walked past all the doujins. And he goes there twice 🙇‍♂️ Like, do with this knowlegde whatever you want, I'm just describing what happened (personally I'd say: BASEDBASEDBASED-)

*performance time* he gets his makeup and hair done and goes on stage, it's a short compilation from backstage.

HE GOES BACK TO THE CUTOUTS orz... the stylist fixes his hair sprout when he's standing between lg and cxs ;w; while wmh praises his producer for agreeing to work overtime to help him film the vlog 🙏

it cuts to him riding to the different area, he says:

'Now I am going to this one from "Link Click", the booth of the original work. Although today in fact, strictly speaking, I'm not a cosplayer.' 'Because I think we should respect how everyone just generates electricity for love to this level of detail' (I think he means cosplayers, but not sure, it translates wack) 'I think I am still wearing a makeup look for a musical stage actor who (just) came here.' 'This experience is very unforgettable for me, so I hope to use the last bit of time, the moment before hitting the board, to go get one for myself. Including myself, Wang Minhui as a stage actor. I can take two sets of photos. I think it's also a good memory, so I set off!' (it may be confusing, but I think he's talking about using the opportunity of being on a convention in the stage makeup, to take some phots for himself, while humbly acknowledging it's not a cosplay)

(we're halfway in the video, save me, I love him but he talks so much ಥ_ಥ)

He enters the official LC venue (that earlier, was more fanmade stuff/merch alley) and talks about how exciting it is that he can blend in ;w; so he walks around, saying:

'I am so happy!' but then catches himself and says 'Ah, but I shouldn't laugh' (to stay in LG's character 😭) *points at Neo Aurora LG cutout (one with harness)* 'Can you make me a set of clothes like this next time at our theater?' (caption tags the Encore Musicals theatre) *points at a writing board and reads one of fan messages* 'Li Haolin, no more knives!' 💀 and 'No matter the past, don't question the future' motto *proudly high-fives himself* *points at Li twins cutouts* 'Last time I drew a blind box I got Li Tianchen, I have both (?or two idk) of them.' 'So happy. The kind of faint (faint feeling? or faintness? idk) It just came out of here *points at his chest* Happy but I don’t know why I’m so happy! (pls he's so sweet)

Then he points towards the Bilibili Comics venue and namedrops lots of shows he's watching/reading:

'There's a Bilibili comics app, the app that accompanies me on many nights, I recently finished reading Demon Slayer', he also mentions watching Blue Lock and Wind Breaker.

Moving on to individual anime series booths:

*points at Kaitou from Detective Conan* 'I especially liked that character as a kid, so cool/handsome' He sees Solo Leveling booth from a distance and is proud of himself for remembering the name of the show, so much so he takes a picture :'> ''Dungeon Meshi', I've been following for past 2 days (?). At first I thought it was a gourmet show, at that time I liked to order takeout. I feel like it still has quite a story to it.' *sees a mecha animatronic* 'Wow it's moving!' (everybody stfu, he's experiencing a childlike wonder) 'I usually open Bilibili when I have nothing to do', then he mentions watching Freiren, Kaiju no.8 and says that after reading all the Demon Slayer he wants to watch it now.

Post-credits scene: He looks on a stage, says 'Give me a mask and I'll sign up' and then the camera zooms out to show what I think is a group of men doing an otome-themed performance dance (like Tears of Themis/Love and Deepspace type of game idk which exactly ><) 🙇‍♂️🙇‍♂️🙇‍♂️ that's all

To accompany you on this overwhelming wall of text, I give you Cai Qi overwhelmed by the wonders of BilibiliWorld 😇 he was going through it, but had the audacity to later say 'I was a little nervous, Wang Minhui is nearly drowning the mic (from sweating nervously)' under the video with VAs. Brat.

Housekeeping notes: I hope this update makes up for the long inactivity and I hope it lasts you for a while 🙏 I still struggle with my workload and it sucks, so I won't be coming back here any time soon (for 1,5 months at least) sorry ><

But I am still active on twt and discord and I check tumblr inbox regularly if you ever need help with research 💪

There is an increase of LC fans interested in the play (after the zhb and tcp almost-kiss ><') So I am currently gathering questions from newbies to later create the LC Musical FAQs 🌟 If you have ANY questions regarding LC musical, specific actors, the general Chinese musical fandom culture, navigating Chinese social media, anything I could help with, PLEASE reach out to me via inbox, DMs, curiouscat (I linked it on my twt @/niebo_sgdlr), twt DMs or discord. It will help tremendously to create a beginner friendly guide, bc at this point I'm too deep in the rabbit hole and too busy to explain everything to everyone individually🙏💖

Look at this historical event of Wang Minhui getting the postcard and telling Vale she looks better than Cai Qi 😇 Please give love to all the friends I mentioned in the post and have a lovely day, bye bye!

Niebo out 🏃‍♂️✨✨✨✨

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aleiellovesyou · 2 months

Text

How Are They Feeling About You? - Love Reading

Pile 1-3

Pile 1

I’m feeling like this is someone within your community, potentially a schoolmate, you go to church with them, you work together, or this is a family friend. For majority of you, you have known this person for a long time and there have been significant events in your relationship either directly involving the relationship or affecting the community you are apart of as a whole. What I’m seeing here is that they don’t feel very confident in themselves specifically relating to finances, body image, or status in general. I feel that they are afraid to be vulnerable with you because of their insecurities. I do see this person has passionate feelings for you and would like to explore something with you. I also see them feeling restless and being tired of the uncertainty with you. They may see you as potentially closed off and focused on other things and not them. Because of their insecurities I don’t see them taking any bold action towards the relationship, but I do see them doing small things for you as a way to ease into something more. If you notice any small acts of service, know that this was strategized, planned, and is being done with the intent of moving this connection to a more romantic type of relationship.

Extra Confirmation: ginger/auburn hair, parties, aries, capricorn, virgo, attractive physique, masculinity, the beach, wealth, shy, school, mall/shopping.

Pile 2

I feel like this is someone within some kind of position of power. Potentially a boss or a leader of some kind. For some of you, if you play sports, this is a team captain. I’m seeing some kind tension around this relationship that was maybe pacified by this person, either they apologized, gave you something, or proposed something that would bring this relationship back into harmony or this is something they want to do. I definitely pick up on a certain power or influence that this person has and because of that they may not be able to directly express their feelings toward you which I do see here. It appears they do have a crush on you and get butterflies around you especially during conversations. You make them feel giddy and imaginative about domestic life with you. But they aren’t clear about where you stand at all because they see you as someone that keeps to yourself and doesn’t really show too much. I feel like they are waiting to see what happens between the two of you and it seems like any romantic move they make will not be direct and will be kind of calculated. For example, if they just so happen to be around you when it’s only the two of you or something like that. I am picking up on them being indirect but still orchestrating some kind of interactions to get what they want without making themselves too vulnerable.

Extra Confirmation: losses, puppies, cats, music, gymnastics, humor, rainbows, scorpio, aries, travel, boss, work, roses, lightning, castles, stars

Pile 3

warning: a lil 18+ towards the end

I’m seeing that there’s something unexpected, surprising, or intense about this situation. Like maybe the two of you had a moment that is now making both of you wonder about the other persons feelings or where something came from. Like I’m just hearing “where did that come from?” This person you’re asking about maybe did something bold or gave you some kind of romantic or sexual attention. For example, if they looked at your body and you noticed it or if they made a comment about your appearance. Those are just examples. But I feel like despite having romantic and flirtatious feelings for you, they want to be careful with how much they give/show because they aren’t in a position to commit to you or have anything serious. This person likely has their own burdens at this time and while they enjoy flirting, they don’t think they can offer you anything else. They also see you as having your own problems, specifically regarding money or family but there’s a bit of mystery and secrecy that they get from you so they don’t know too much about your situation. Maybe they just know that you come from a broken home or recently lost a job. Something like that, what they know is very surface level. Even tho they can’t offer you anything actually grounded right now, I do see it on their mind as a future thing and it saddens them that they can’t be with you right now. I’m seeing a lot of sexual tension here and a desire to connect freely but they don’t want to hurt you and just hookup if they know they can’t offer you anything else. This person seems really sweet and cares about the way they make you feel. Some of them are worried that they’ve really let you down and like it’s too late to come back from something or you have moved on.

extra confirmation: leo, cancer, 333, self love, peacock, too late, dinner date, substances, sex, short hair, delusion, haunted by memories, family

That’s all I have for this reading, thank you and I hope you found something that resonated for you! 🩵

#tarot pick a pile #tarot reading #crush tarot #love reading #pick a pile #pick a card #pick a picture #love #crush

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southsideserendipity · 8 months

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drunk & disorderly (alternate ending) (Kelly Severide x Reader)

Synopsis: Your alcoholic father shows up at the firehouse, persistent on making amends.

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol abuse, violence, swearing, Kelly being protective AF <3.

Word Count: 2.7k

*This is an alternate ending for one of my imagines: drunk & disorderly. They can be read separately and in interchangeable order. Link to my master list."

“Shay, we are never drinking that much the night before a shift again. I’m so hungover” you groaned, throwing your head back in exasperation in the passenger seat of the ambulance. You were returning to the station after the first call of the day, and the pounding of your temples was exacerbated with every bump in the road.

“Oh c’mon, Y/N, we can handle a lil hangover” she said jokingly. “Besides, wasn’t that drinking game fun?” She asked in a suggestive tone while wiggling her eyebrows.

“I’m not sure, I can’t exactly remember last night’s events” you giggled, trying to rack your brain for a hint as to how the evening played out.

“Well, what I remember extremely vividly is you and Severide not being able to stop flirting with each other,” Shay said this without taking her eyes off of the road, but you knew she wasn’t as annoyed as she was making herself out to be. She loved the idea of the 2 people she loved the most being together.

“I can’t confirm or deny my actions or the events that occurred last night” you led in a serious note, trying to cover up your schoolgirl crush on Severide in a playful manner.

“Oh, just fuck him already! Blame it on the alcohol!” Shay encouraged, using her hands to help communicate the message. “I know you like him, and who’s to say he doesn’t want you?” she questioned.

“I’m not sure Shay, you would know the most given the fact that you live with him, wouldn’t you? Has he said anything to you??” Turning your entire torso towards her, you suddenly become very invested in the conversation. You had made comments to Shay about how hot Severide is, but you’ve never fully expressed your interest in him.

“My lawyer says no further comment” Shay responds, zipping the imaginary zipper on her lips and throwing away the key.

“Oh come on, Shay!! Help a girl out” you moaned in defeat, crossing your arms in front of your chest despite knowing that what the 2 roommates were discussing was private.

Shay was the person who got you and Kelly close to begin with. Being that you and she were ambulance partners, you went over to their place often, seeing him just as much as you see her.

“He may or may not have said some things about you, but that’s all I can say!” Shay spat out the sentence, picking up the speed as it went on as if the faster she said it, the less of a chance Kelly was to somehow find out.

“Oh, this conversation is NOT over" you responded. You weren’t ready to drop the topic anytime soon, but you had arrived back at the firehouse.

Before you could pester her with further interrogations, you saw a figure as she was pulling into the ambulance bay.

“Who is that?” Shay exclaimed, confused that someone was blocking her.

You squinted your eyes, confident that they were playing tricks on you based on who you were perceiving to be there. Once Shay had driven as close as she could without running them over, you knew your eyes were not deceiving you.

“My dad” you spat angrily, upset that this was your current reality; that a member of your toxic family had followed you to the one good thing in your life.

You were both frozen in the ambulance; you, unsure how to avoid this interaction, and Shay, confused as to how she could help you.

You got out of the ambulance and began making your way inside, pretending that your dad was an invisible man and that his presence had no effect on you. Shay followed suit.

When you walked past him you heard him scoff, and he threw his hands up in the air, resembling confusion.

“You’re just gonna walk past me. No ‘Hi dad, how are you? Long time no see.’” You couldn’t believe what you just heard, but once you partially processed it, you decided that this was indeed your battle to pick today.

You had moved to Chicago from Toronto after applying to the academy, deciding that between your narcissistic and emotionally abusive mother, and your alcoholic dad, it was time to leave; not to run away, but to survive.

Your older brother is a firefighter in Toronto, and you easily could’ve gotten a job at his firehouse, but you had always loved Chicago and decided to bite the bullet.

“You have some nerve.” Slowly turning around to face him, you tried to keep yourself from seeing red. He didn’t deserve to know he got a reaction from you. “Showing up at my place of work unexpectedly and expecting me to give you the time of day.”

“I just want to talk, Y/N.” You started hysterically laughing once you heard what he had said, the anger presenting itself through laughter. Your father was confused as to why you were reacting this way, and quite frankly, so was Shay. She had never seen you so upset.

“Get out of my firehouse. You don’t deserve to be here.”You pointed towards the street, urging him to get out of your sight.

“Y/N just hear me out. I know I don’t deserve it but it’s been so long and I just want to be a part of your life again. Things are different now.” The pounding in your head was starting to become excruciatingly unbearable the further this conversation continued.

You could hear the sounds of squad and truck rumbling down the street and you knew that you needed him to leave before the entire house got back.

“Yeah, things sure as hell are different, I left before I suffocated and you couldn’t give a rat’s ass where I ended up. Until today, a random Saturday morning 2 YEARS after I spoke to you last. I want you to leave, NOW. Don’t make me escalate this situation.” You were sick of people walking all over you- blood-related or not, and you weren’t going to have any of this. Especially not in front of your 51 family.

By the time you finished your spiel, truck and squad were both parked and beginning to filter out, undressing from their turnover gear.

Severide hopped out, pulling his turnover gear down to his waist. He was wearing his lieutenant shirt with suspenders, and his squad 3 baseball cap. He would make subtle glances over, not wanting to make the fact that he was eavesdropping obvious.

“I’m not going anywhere until you decide to give me another chance. Until you let me make things up to you” he pleaded, reeking of desperation.

At this point, heads were turning to observe the interaction.

“I gave you one too many chances, and I’m done. I’m not sure how you didn’t get the hint that I wanted nothing to do with you when I moved countries, but I’m now verbally letting you know that this relationship is over.” You had thought about simply walking into the firehouse but you didn’t want to risk finding out whether he had the gall to follow you.

At this point, a few members of 51 had filtered into the lounge, knowing that they probably weren’t meant to be listening to the conversation. Others took their sweet time getting undressed to keep an eye on the situation.

Severide was especially lingering, always having an urge to protect you against harm’s way. He didn’t know much about the situation given that you kept your past secretive, but knowing how abusive fathers can be, he stood near.

“C’mon, Y/N, you’ve always been so damn stubborn. Do you need to act like this when I’m trying to prove to you that I can be better?” Your dad was genuinely curious as to how you could be so cutthroat towards him as if his drinking didn’t ruin the first 2 decades of your life.

“I don’t think you need to prove anything to her. It’s pretty clear you’re not a part of her life and that she wants it to stay that way.” You didn’t expect to hear Kelly’s voice from behind you all of a sudden.

“Kel, it’s okay. I got this.” You felt torn between wanting him to stand up for you and telling him you can fight your own battles. He stepped closer toward you, and Shay took a couple of steps back, knowing you now had extra protection.

“And who are you?” your father asked, not breaking eye contact with you. His hands were placed on his hips, and by his body language, it was evident that he was not leaving without a fight.

“Lieutenant Severide of 51, and respectfully, I’m asking you to leave my firehouse” Severide stated in a calm but straightforward manner. He crossed his arms and waited intently.

Your dad chuckled in what seemed to be astonishment while shifting his eye contact repeatedly from you to Severide. “Sleeping your way to the top; very typical of you Y/N. I thought you would’ve changed your ways by now” your dad scoffed.

You were beyond pissed off that he was even here right now, but that comment officially made your blood boil. Thinking about what you could say in response, your dad decided to speak up once again.

“Let me ask you, how long have you been fucking my daughter, lieutenant?” He said the last word as if it was dirty.

Kelly stepped right up to him as if he had no fears, something you wish you could’ve warned him about before doing. You were grateful your dad appeared to be sober because if he hadn’t, a brawl would’ve already broken out between them.

“Y/N has been nothing but a talented and competent paramedic with a great amount of expertise in her field. She‘s proven time and time again that she’s a necessary addition to this team, and deserves to be a part of this family- she did that all by herself, no thanks to you. Now get out of my firehouse before the chief gets back and escalates this even further.”

You were blown away by Severide’s words, unaware of his thoughts regarding your presence at 51. He managed to respond in a professional yet serious manner, and he did it with ease, seeming completely unbothered by confrontation. The two men were still face to face, and Kelly was not ready to back down for nothing and no one.

“Whatever.” Your dad hadn’t let Kelly escape his gaze for even a millisecond. “You know, maybe I’d have a bone to pick if I came here out of my own free will. This was just part of my 12 steps. Step 9: Make amends” your dad said with a smirk.

Despite not wanting to hear your father out for anything he had to say, the fact that he was here for his benefit and not out of sincerity was your final straw.

It took you a second to even fathom the possibility that he came here for selfish reasons, but once you did, you couldn’t stop yourself.

You lunged at him and began unleashing. “FUCK YOU, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!” Now you solely saw red. While you were attempting to physically release all of your pain onto him, you felt Severide grab onto your waist and rip you off.

Your arms and legs were still thrashing about, despite him being far from your grasp. “Come here, get off of him. It’s okay.” Severide attempted to console you, but you were furious.

“Y/N! Enough, he’s not worth it!!!” You heard Shay shouting from behind you.

Once Severide planted you back on the floor, and you adjusted the stray hairs that had fallen all over your face, you began to catch your breath.

“What the hell’s going on?” Casey shouted from across the apparatus, walking over with his arms out in question. “Is everything okay?” He glanced between Severide - who looked like he was about to punch a wall, his jaw clenched - and you.

“Nothing, he’s just leaving,” you said while trying to slow your breathing and resist the urge to fight once again.

Your father must’ve thought Casey was the chief because he put his arms up in surrender and turned on his heels.

You abruptly turned around and raced your way into quarters as fast as you could, not comprehending what just happened.

Kelly put his hands on his hips, hanging his head low and then glanced back up toward Shay and Casey while squinting. He knew what it was like when family troubles came into the firehouse, so he felt for you. He didn’t like to see you upset, even though his feelings for you hadn’t been confessed.

“Who was that?” Casey asked, looking between Shay and Severide as if the answer lay between them.

Meanwhile, you rushed through the doors between the apparatus bay and the inside of the firehouse heading straight for the bathroom.

Everyone sitting in the lounge immediately shot a glance toward you but didn’t interrupt- you were evidently on a mission, the anger you felt putting a fire under your ass.

You entered the closest stall and closed the lid, taking a seat. The second you did so, the tears automatically began to flow, anger quickly evolving into sadness.

You heard light taps on the stall, not even realizing someone had walked in. “Y/N?” None other than Severide.

“I’m good Kel, I promise. I’ll be out soon” you said, trying to keep your voice from quivering. You didn’t want the man you had a crush on to think you’re a damsel in distress who needs saving.

“Let me in, Y/N. Please.” You think he meant this literally and figuratively. He knew you were lying through your teeth when you said you were okay. “If you don’t want me to come in that’s fine, I’ll stand outside the door, but I’m not leaving you by yourself.” The door jolted and you could tell he was leaning against it, making himself comfortable.

You knew he wasn’t going to leave, given his stubborn character, so you dried up your tears as best as you could with 1-ply toilet paper and unlocked the door.

He stood up and turned around to face you noticing that your eyes were puffy and your face was red.

Kneeling between your legs, he looked up at you grabbing a hold of your chin.

“Are you okay?” He asked intently, scanning your face for any hints of distress.

“I just wasn’t expecting it, Kel. 51 is my only family and I don’t want him to jeopardize that…” Severide urgently nodded in agreement, a sympathetic look on his face. “He won’t” he stated matter o’factly. “I’ll make sure of it.” He was determined to keep you away from your father.

“I’m worried he’s gonna turn back up here, or worse, get you in trouble. It’s not worth you going to the review board because my idiot father reported what happened.” You looked down at him through wet eyelashes, upset that you indirectly put him in this situation.

“He was the unwanted visitor at the firehouse, and everyone can vouch for that. It’s his word against multiple others.” You nodded in hesitant agreement, not fully convinced by his statement.

“Stay at Shay and I’s for a couple of days, maybe reach out to your brother and see if he knew about him coming here. Or if you wanna stay home, I could get Jay to assign a covert car to your street.” Severide offering you options and comforting you is what you didn’t know you needed.

He looked up at you, glancing between each of your eyes while you attempted to make a decision.

“Yeah, I’ll stay with you both. If that’s okay” you responded, sniffling the leftover snot in your nose after finally calming down. Just being in his presence lowered your blood pressure.

He nodded his head. “You good to go back out?” He slowly got up and held out his hand for you to take.

“Thank you, Kel, seriously.” As soon as you stood up, you engulfed him in a hug, the combination of his natural scent and cologne flooding your nostrils.

He rubbed your back up and down, his chin resting on the top of your head. He kissed your head then said, “Don’t sweat it, sweetheart.”

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Hey everyone! I no... long time no chat :( I've had this in my notes for a while and thought I'd post it while I write up some other stuff. I haven't watched the new season's episodes yet, so maybe that'll help the creative flow! I hope everyone has had a wonderful start to the new year :) Again, here is a link to my master list!

#kelly severide chicago fire #kelly chicago fire #kellyseveride #kelly #chicago fire kelly #chicago fire #kelly severide #kelly severide x reader #chicago fire severide #kelly severide imagine #severide chicago fire #chicago fire kelly severide #firehouse51 #ambulance61 #ambo61 #leslie shay #leslieshay #onechicago #onechicagofanfiction

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itsticklishme23 · 4 months

Text

🌸 NEST post incoming… 🌸

“In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.” ✨

Wow… I don’t even have the words to express the gratitude, bliss, and surreal feeling i have to have met all of the wonderful people at NEST. Thank you to everyone for the best time and for making my first NEST so unforgettable! I’m so sad I had to leave early, but the time I did get with everyone was BEYOND beautiful!! I met so many amazing loving people, the respectfulness and kindness (and bullying AHEM 🙄😜) I experienced from you all is just absolutely special and beyond any group/community I’ve been apart of. A HUUUGE thank you to the incredible organizers for creating such an amazing event. To my old and new friends: I LOVE YOU BIG!!

I know this is a kinda late NEST post hahah and I’m sure one day I’ll make a post of all the fun stuff that happened, or maybe I’ll keep some of it as memories between us, but I just absolutely had to make an appreciation post for the people that made it so special because that’s what it’s all about for me 🥰

~ firstly a huge thank you to @spiffytickler for being an amazing friend and the whole reason I even made it to NEST in the first place!! Seriously wouldn’t have even been there without you, and I’m so grateful to you, my dear friend ☺️ plus your pep talks and protector/“mother hen” energy was so appreciated, and I adore you ❤️

~ and of course the beautiful and sweet @yourlittlettoy with your illuminating presence and your sweet lil gifts just make my whole heart smile!! How did I get so lucky to know you let alone have a bestie in you!! ❤️❤️ I love you forever!

~ getting to meet and spend time with @kusugurihime was an absolute pleasure and joy, you’re such a sweetie pie! I can’t wait for us to reunite 🥹❣️

~ a huge thank you to @mister-ttt for being the sweetest friend, the best bidder HEHEH and just having a heart of gold, and being an amazing protector. Even though we met at NEST you’ve already easily become one of my favorite people and I see a sweet friendship blooming 🥰

~ getting to finally meet @toadallytickles was also a cherry on top!! Your kindness and attentiveness to your friends helps me see the sweetness in your soul and I’m grateful you extended that same sweetness to me, and I can’t wait to see you again ☺️

~ @puzz-ler we finally got to actually hug and have an amazing time after years of being friends, and you’re easily cementing your bestie status too 😂🫶🏾 as sassy as you can be 🙄 lol but you’re still great and so generous with your kindness, which I forever appreciate 🖤

~ and meeting @ticklita literally made my whole weekend that much better bc you’re such a sweet, kind, precious lil strawberry 🍓 and I can’t wait to visit you and see you again!! 🥰

Plus many, many, many more that would probably take up your whole page for miles hahah i wish I could tag every single person who made nest special! But I promise if I didn’t tag you, you still mean a lot to me. And simply put, I’m already dreaming of reuniting again with you all with massive hugs and cheek kissies soon 😘💋 I can’t wait to see you all again, and I hope everyone who went had a truly amazing experience. If we met and didn’t get each other’s info to keep in touch, please feel free to message me and connect! The giggles, laughter, teasing, bratiness, jokes, silliness, love, and just the right amount of “mean-ness” were perfect hehe. My lil subby lee heart is full and missing you all already ❤️

#me #tickle community #nest #good times with great friends #so sorry for the long post 😭#I love y’all!!

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talkdutchtome · 10 months

Text

Glitch- chapter seven (18+)

pairing . . . max verstappen x reader / mason mount x reader )

summary . . . when mason mount finds out that his assistant has been harbouring feelings for him for years, he makes it clear he doesn't feel the same way. but once he sees her become closer with formula 1 world champion max verstappen, he realises he may have underestimated his feelings towards the girl he has now pushed into the arms of another )

genre . . . angst )

song . . . glitch- taylor swift )

series masterlist . . . available here )

warning . . . this chapter contains smut, 18+ MINORS DNI, oral (f & m receiving), p in v, unprotected sex, creampie, use of petnames, very slight fdom -blink and you'll miss it-, if you don't want to read the smut there is a border where it starts and finishes so you can skip it )

a/n . . . i think this chapter might make some of you mad but this is a love triangle fic, it's going to be a lil messy, like me. i promise we'll be back to what you like for chapter 8. feedback is always appreciated, i love to read all of your thoughts )

“No”

Max’s words swirled around Y/N’s head long after he had left. She had asked him if he wanted to come in and he just said no. He didn’t say “I’d love to, but I can’t tonight” he didn’t even say “Thanks but I don’t think I want to, let's take things slow” he just said “No”. Quicky followed up by “Okay, Bye”. She was completely dumbfounded, stood outside her flat; as Max's abrupt departure replayed in her mind, each step he took away from her feeling like a punctuation mark to their strange encounter.

The second she found herself in her flat, the uncorked bottle of wine sat on her kitchen side, beckoned to her, and without much consideration, she filled a glass to the brim. The rich red liquid seemed to mirror the swirling thoughts in her mind, each sip a bitter-sweet reminder of the unexpected turn of events. Tonight was going so well; she didn’t understand what went wrong.

She replayed the encounter in her mind, trying to dissect what had just happened. She felt upset, a sting of rejection cutting through her. Yet, there was also frustration—why couldn't Max have communicated his feelings instead of abruptly walking away. If he didn’t want to take it further, obviously she wouldn’t be mad at that, she’s not a monster; but he could of at least spoke to her about it rather than just walking away.

The room was softly lit, and Y/N continued to sip her wine, lost in her own thoughts. The wine was becoming both a friend and an escape, pulling her further into a comforting haze. The recent complications weighed on her, each sip a fleeting attempt to numb the complexities swirling in her mind.

With each gulp, she dove deeper into her contemplations, navigating through the messy tangle of feelings. Life, once simple, now felt like a puzzle missing a few crucial pieces. The familiar sounds of laughter and joy were replaced by a haunting silence, broken only by the occasional clink of the glass against the table and the distant hum of the city outside.

The glass became a conduit for her musings, carrying the weight of her thoughts as she pondered the unexpected twists, the encounters that left her head spinning, and the undeniable shifts in relationships. Everything seemed burdened, complicated. As the night wore on, the glass emptied, and her thoughts grew hazier. Eventually, the weight became too much. She remembered sinking into the cushions of her sofa, the glass slipping from her fingers. Sleep claimed her, the complexities of life blending into dreams until the room was wrapped in a deep, velvety darkness.

The next few days passed, and the day of the first Chelsea game of the season quickly rolled around. As Y/N prepared for the match, the uncertainty surrounding Max lingered in her thoughts. The absence of any communication since the peculiar end to their evening left her grappling with a myriad of unanswered questions. She couldn’t bring herself to messaging him first, after all she was left with quite the bruised ego when he left like he did; so, the silence from Max had become a palpable void, and she started to accept the possibility that she might never receive the answers she sought.

Dressed in her favorite Chelsea shirt, with Mount 19 proudly displayed on the back; she made her way to the staduim, trying her best to push everything she felt about Max down to the pit of her stomach so she could be in the right frame of mind to not only support Mason but the whole team.

At Stamford Bridge, the buzz of anticipation hung in the air. Y/N took her seat in the family box, surrounded by the sea of Chelsea blue. Beside her, Louisa, Ben's girlfriend, struck up a conversation.

"Did you ever find out what was wrong with Mason that night at the gala?" Louisa inquired, her eyes fixed on the pitch as the players warmed up.

Y/N shook her head, her gaze following the familiar figure of Mason on the field. "No, I tried asking the next day, but he wouldn't say anything. It's been a bit weird since then."

As the game kicked off, Y/N found herself immersed in the ebb and flow of the match. The energy in the stadium was electric, and emotions swirled with each pass and tackle. Chelsea was facing Liverpool, a formidable opponent, and every moment felt charged with anticipation.

The clock ticked away, and tension mounted as both teams vied for control. Then, a surge of jubilation erupted through the stands. Mason had scored, his name echoing through the stadium as fans erupted in cheers. Chelsea took the lead, and the scoreboard displayed a triumphant 1-0.

Amidst the celebration, Y/N couldn't help but feel a swell of pride. Mason's goal was a bright spot in a narrative that had become increasingly complex, and as the final whistle blew, sealing Chelsea's victory, for once Y/N just let herself feel happy; freeing her momentarily of the stress of day to day life. Her team had just won a very important game, and her best friend was the reason for that.

The vibrant cheers echoed through the stadium as Chelsea celebrated a hard-fought victory against Liverpool. Mason, the star of the match, was awarded the title of man of the match, and Y/N couldn't help but feel a surge of pride as she made her way down to the pitch to assist him with media obligations.

Amid the chaos of jubilant players and buzzing journalists, Y/N found Mason, his face adorned with a triumphant smile. She wrapped her arms around him in a tight embrace, offering a congratulatory kiss on his cheek. The elation of the win permeated the air as they navigated through the sea of celebrations.

Once Mason had spoken to seemingly every media outlet in the UK and was ready to head to the changing rooms, the rest of the team had been and gone. Anticipating this, Mason invited Y/N to come in with him as he got ready rather than her waiting outside for him.

Mason was midway through changing when Y/N decided to seize the quiet moment and address the lingering tension from the gala. Maybe there would have been a better time to do that rather than when Mason was stood shirtless only wearing a pair of football shorts, but Y/N was never one for picking her moments well.

"Mason, what was wrong with you the other night? You seemed so sad." she ventured, her tone a mix of firmness and concern.

Mason, in his usual deflective manner, offered a unconvincing, vague explanation about being stressed. But Y/N, remembering the promise they made after their tumultuous encounter in Spain, was determined to dig deeper.

"Come on, we promised each other after Spain that we would be more open," she reminded him, the charged atmosphere subtly drawing them closer.

He glanced at her, the defensive facade momentarily faltering. The seconds ticked by, intensifying the electric tension between them. Y/N, her voice now a gentle yet insistent whisper, pressed on.

"Tell me, Mason. I need to understand," she implored, their faces now only inches apart. As he sighed, wrestling with his internal turmoil, Y/N's hand found his, pulling him back towards her. Their proximity became palpable, both aware of the unspoken emotions lingering in the air.

"It was hard, okay?" Mason finally admitted, breaking the silence. "Seeing you with Max, all close and flirty. It messed with my head."

The confession hung in the air, a vulnerable admission. Y/N, her voice nothing more than a whisper, continued her quest for understanding.

"Why would that be hard for you?"

Mason, caught between the desire to retreat and the need for honesty, hesitated. Y/N, sensing the gravity of the moment, held onto his hand, their connection unspoken but profound. Their eyes locked, and Mason slowly, almost hesitantly, began to lean down, his eyes never leaving hers and his hands coming up to cradle her face. Time seemed to stretch, the anticipation building with each passing second.

Then, all at once, his lips met hers in a kiss that held the weight of unspoken emotions. It was a collision of feelings, a dance of two souls navigating the uncharted territory of their connection.

As their lips met in a soft, tentative kiss, it was as if the world around them slowed down. Mason's touch was gentle, almost cautious, as if he was testing the waters of Y/N's response. His lips moved against hers with a delicate grace, and for a moment, the kiss hung in the air like a fragile connection.

But as Y/N's hands found their way into Mason's hair, threading through the strands, the nature of the kiss shifted. The softness gave way to a growing passion, a shared desire that couldn't be contained. Mason, feeling the response from Y/N, allowed himself to be pulled into the depths of the kiss. It became more than a simple meeting of lips; it turned into a dance of longing and unspoken emotions.

Their connection deepened, and the kiss became more fervent, more desperate, as if they were trying to convey all the unspoken words and unexpressed feelings through the intimacy of the moment and quickly things progressed with Y/N breaking their contact to pull her shirt over her head, leaving her stood there in just a Chelsea blue bra and skirt she wore to the game.

For the first time since he kissed her, Y/N made eye contact, gone were his soft, honey coloured eyes, replaced by dark orbs staring down at her. It was like he was trying to take a mental image of the woman standing in front of him, lips swollen and parted, very slightly panting from the breathlessness that came from kissing him.

A second passed where the pair just stood in front of each other, almost as if they were giving each other one last chance to back out before things went beyond the point of no return. The silence was deafening and after a beat they reattached themselves to each other, with Mason pulling her onto him as he backed up onto a bench and sat down, bringing her with him onto his lap. His lips finding her collarbone as his hands grabbed her ass. The way his expert lips sucked and nibbled her neck sent shockwaves through her body and she found herself grinding herself against his lap, desperate for anything that would help the dull ache coming from between her legs, eliciting a low moan from the man beneath her.

It was evident the effect that Y/N was having on Mason from the growing hardness that she could feel under her, and when she removed herself off of his lap and dropped down to her knees Mason had thought he had died and gone to heaven. For the first time since Mason had kissed her, one of them spoke, “Is this okay?” she asked him, her hands hovering just above the place where he needed her the most, prompting him to nod his head ferociously. “Yeah it’s good”

With that conformation, Y/N settled herself between his legs on the floor and began to place soft barely-there kisses down his stomach until she reached the waistband of his shorts. Mason was squirming, she hadn’t even touched him yet, but she seemed to have full control of him, something he had never experienced before. The second that Y/N’s hands went to lightly tug at his shorts, Mason was lifting himself of the bench, allowing her to pull down his shorts and underwear in one go.

The sight of Mason’s dick slapping his stomach as his shorts were pulled down was one to behold. Y/N would be lying if she said she had never imagined this, put one thing she never considered was that he would be this big. She watched the way it throbbed in time with his heartbeat, the way a bead of precum spilt from his tip. And then in a move that made Mason whine, she placed her hands at the base of his dick, and darted her tongue out to catch the droplet. The taste of him was musky, almost sweet; and the most addictive thing she had ever experienced. She went in again, very slowly placing her mouth around his tip and swirling her tongue around it.

“Oh fuck Y/N yo-” Mason’s voice was deeper than she had ever heard as he called out for her, but when she took him further in her mouth, his voice gave out. His hands found her hair, grabbing in into a makeshift ponytail as she continued to bob her head up and down on his dick, swirling her tongue as she did so.

It was becoming all too much for Mason, the sight of his best friend on her knees for him, making him feel this good. He quickly found himself close to cumming, but not wanting this to be over, he used his grip on her hair to gently pull her off of him.

“That felt so good baby, but I don’t want to cum yet” he told her when he caught sight of her pouting at the loss of contact.

“I need to be inside of you Y/N, need to know how you’d feel squeezing tight against me” His words were sinful, and they made her desperate for him. He stood up, grabbing her hand to bring her up from her knees to before gesturing at her to sit down in the place he had vacated. Then he dropped to his knees, placed her legs over his shoulder and moved the fabric of her skirt out of the way, letting him see her soaked through panties.

He dived in, placing hot, open-mouthed kisses on her clothed pussy, running his finger ever so gently across her, before hooking it under her underwear and pulling them off. The sight of her cunt, glistening and wet made him again, wish he could take photos with his mind. Never wanting to lose this image for so long as he lived.

“Please Mase” Y/N spoke, her voice breathy and desperate.

Mason didn’t need to be asked twice, bringing his mouth to her, licking a long strip across her slit before attaching his lips to her clit. The way he sucked at and nibbled her sensitive bud made her see stars. And when he brought his hand up to start pumping his fingers inside of her whilst still attacking her clit with his mouth, she quickly found herself close to the edge. His expert fingers curving up to her, making her legs tremble and her toes curl.

“Oh Masey, I’m so close please don’t stop” she whined in between heavy breaths. At her words, Mason sped up his actions, bringing her closer and closer to cumming until she finally reached her climax with a squeal, trapping Masons head between her legs as she squeezed them together in the sheer exstacy she was feeling.

Once she had released her grip on the man's head, he came up to kiss her, the kiss was needy and desperate, and she could taste herself on his tongue. It was utterly filthy, and she never wanted it to end. If she could, she would stay in this moment with Mason forever, wrapped up in him and their pleasure, nothing else. Nothing complicated or uncomfortable, just simply pleasure.

Mason pulled himself off of her lips and took his place back on the bench, swiftly pulling her onto his lap. His manhood nudging itself against her warm core. His lips reattached themselves to her neck, suckling and biting; leaving marks peppered against her skin. He pulled back and admired his work, admired how good her skin looked littered with his marks, the way it made her look like she was his, she was only his.

“I’m going to fuck you now, is that okay?” Mason said, reaching for his hard dick beneath her, pumping it in his fist, prompting Y/N to nod her head frantically, desperate for him. “No baby I need words, tell me you want this” He spoke again, wanting to be sure that this is what she wanted, wanting to be sure that she wouldn’t regret this.

“I want this, please Mason I want this so bad” she told him, becoming desperate, her wet cunt clenching around nothing in anticipation.

So, Mason did what she asked, and lined up his cock to her pussy, gripped her hips and brought her down onto him; strings of moans and cries falling from both of their mouths as he began to stretch her. Wanting to take control, Y/N placed her hands on Masons chest and began to ride him, grinding down onto him after each bounce. Mason was quickly becoming unglued, the way that that best friend bounced on his dick, clenching around him made him go crazy.

Y/N quickly found herself becoming closer and closer to the edge, and when Mason started to rub circles on her clit, she fell apart. Calling out for the man beneath her as she came on his dick, her cunt squeezing him tight. The sight of Y/N reaching climax meant Mason was not far behind. He spilled out inside of her, filling her up with his cum as he kissed her deeply, moaning into her mouth.

For a second, he stilled inside of her, resting his forehead against hers as they caught their breath. She kissed him one last time before getting up off of him, feeling his cum run down leg as she did so. She tried to find something to say, anything to say; but she came up with nothing. What could she say? What did this mean? The cloud of lust had dissipated and the gravity of what just happened began to sink in.

After they had come down from the high of the moment before, the air hung heavy with an unspoken tension. As they both processed what had just transpired, a palpable awkwardness settled between them. They found themselves in a silent ballet of getting dressed and composed, each movement filled with uncertainty. The room seemed to echo with the weight of the unspoken. In a fragile quiet, they avoided eye contact, unsure of what to say or how to navigate the aftermath of their unexpected moment together. The atmosphere became a canvas painted with uncertainty, the seconds ticking away in awkward silence.

It was in this vulnerable moment that Ben casually strolled into the changing room, unwittingly disrupting the delicate balance that lingered in the air. "Where've you two got to?" he asked, sensing that something unusual had occurred. Mason responded a little too quickly, "Just got to talking. Lost track of time."

Ben eyed them with a confused look, sensing there was more to it but deciding not to pry. "Well, we're going out for a few drinks to celebrate the win. You two coming?"

Mason nodded, "Yeah, I'll come."

Y/N, still caught in her own thoughts, didn't immediately respond. Ben noticed her distraction and asked, "What about you, Y/N? Coming for a celebratory drink?"

She hesitated, glancing at Mason. "I, uh, I've got some work to do," she started, realizing it was a flimsy excuse.

Ben raised an eyebrow, "Work? On a match day? Come on, just one drink."

Caught in the moment and not wanting to draw more attention to herself, Y/N reluctantly agreed, "Fine, just one drink."

The bar buzzed with celebration as the team and their partners reveled in the victory. However, amidst the cheerful atmosphere, an undeniable tension lingered between Mason and Y/N. It wasn't the palpable anger like last time; instead, it felt like an uncharted territory of discomfort, as if both were uncertain of how to address the recent shift in their relationship.

Y/N found herself sitting in a sea of voices, yet she remained silent, her gaze fixed on her drink, the weight of the unspoken hanging heavily. Ben, ever the most observant yet oblivious man in the room, couldn't help but notice a string of subtle marks on Y/N's neck, a telltale sign of a love bite. With a mischievous grin, he couldn't resist teasing her.

He grinned, "Looks like someone had a good time. Max, huh? You guys enjoy yourselves?"

The question hit the room like a sudden chill, drawing Mason's attention. His jaw tightened, and he clasped his glass a bit more firmly, an expression of annoyance flickering across his face. Reece, seated nearby, picked up on Mason's reaction, his eyes flicking between his friend and Y/N.

Y/N chuckled awkwardly, attempting to diffuse the situation by offering a half-hearted explanation. "Oh, that's just a burn from my hair straightener."

Ben, persistent in his teasing, pressed further, noting, "But you have naturally straight hair, don't you?"

Y/N squirmed under the spotlight, feeling the discomfort escalate. "Well, I straighten it every day," she mumbled, her attempt at normalcy faltering. Before Ben could continue his line of inquiry, Y/N's phone rang, offering a timely escape from the awkward conversation. She quickly grabbed her phone, signalling a temporary reprieve from the scrutinizing gazes and the unspoken tension between her and Mason.

The night air felt cool against Y/N's skin as she stepped outside and glanced at her phone, revealing Max's name on the screen. She felt her stomach drop at the sight of his name across her screen; she had accepted that she wouldn’t hear from him again. Hesitating for a moment, she considered not answering, still stung by the abrupt way he left.

Eventually, she sighed and pressed the answer button. "Hi," she greeted cautiously, uncertainty lacing her voice.

"Can we talk?" Max's voice, though warm, carried an undertone of hesitation.

Y/N swallowed, the remnants of hurt and confusion lingering. Nevertheless, she nodded silently, a tentative "yes" escaping her lips.

As Max began to unravel his thoughts, Y/N listened, her emotions swaying with each word. "I'm sorry," he confessed, a heavy sigh preceding the admission. "I panicked that night. I've been bouncing around, one meaningless nightstand after another, and I don't want us to be like that. All I wanted was to stay with you that night, but I want more than just a moment. I want us to be more than that. These feelings make me uncomfortable and weird, and I'm so unsure about everything in life. Except for one thing – I'm sure I want you."

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