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muuurder · 23 days

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your finest gaara headcanons my good regent

*breathes* I have so many anon thank you for asking. I’ll put more under cut to spare people from a long post lol.

*cracks knuckles*

-starting us off right here: I flip between Gaara’s gender but honestly I maintain the idea he has tboy swag and most of Suna was too afraid to question it for years and now it’s just the norm. Not to mention his general physique and medical neglect aided in pushing off puberty.

-gaara still has erratic mood swings post chin in exams even when he’s getting better and learning. That boy faced traumatic events from a young age and then was neglected and hunted for sport on top of total isolation. That shit doesn’t go away just because a blonde boy punches you with the power of friendship ok.

-that being said I will maintain the idea his siblings Lee and Naruto are the only ones he feels he can relax a bit with.

-also I do not see people making him weird enough. Cause affectionately as someone who like also experienced isolation, trauma and neglect. You end up having weird interests and like just a r e the weird kid. And I mean yes he is the weird kid, but like…… make him weirder you know lol.

- he loves gardening he talks to his plants. He also likes animals, and is fiercly protective of small kids. That amplifies as he gets older and temari has kids of her own.

-I also think he is a funny guy but his humor is super dry or a little dark. But he will catch you off guard and say some of the most out of pocket shit I swear.

-I am a medaru is gaara’s biological kid truther. I’ll maintain the idea medaru was not planned. Lee absolutely stayed in Suna for a longer period of time and Lee subjected Gaara to routine and healthy habits and the stars aligned and medaru happened.

-honestly ever since I read the brunch fic (I linked it I love it please.) I love the idea of modern au gaara incorporating his mother’s ashes into his garden. It’s sweet.

-I also love the idea that the face tattoo fades as time goes on. Like he stops carving out the wound as a reminder and it fades with time which is a lovely show of his character change.

-I also like everyone else believe he and Lee begin corresponding through letters. Particularly I think the letters begun either after gaara’s death, where Lee wrote to him. Or perhaps Gaara begun them because he was growing and changing and felt guilty about Lee and reached out (at Naruto’s suggestion.)

-following the last point, I can never decide if when gaara died in shippuden if I headcanon Lee realized he was inlove with him and had feelings then the moment he thought he lost gaara.

-both Lee and gaara are gossip mongers I do not care. Gaara finds out so much shit and caught the gossip gene from his brother. He is nosy.

-I also think gaara is still a menace. A little shit even. He thinks it’s funny to fuck with people just a little bit.

-that being said I think he doesn’t do it often unless you work with him or he’s really close and you know he would never hurt you now.

- adding onto that, I will also say I headcanon that in his attempt to become more palatable for his people and suppress his mood swings and correct his behavior, he gets taken advantage of more often and gaara just lets it happen more sometimes because he’s afraid of slipping back into the old image. Especially once he feels connected to his people again. Gaara despite past transgressions chooses to be kind and gentle. He always was a kind gentle child. I think that shows a lot more as an adult and that shit takes so much strength.

-I am a rasa hater so. You know. Fuck rasa, he abused all his kids post the death of their mother.

-I also love the idea gaara has super human senses from shukaku. He can see better at night, detect and smell things better. That being said he isn’t immune to illness, he has gotten sick because his health is absolute dookie okay. He doesn’t sleep his immune system is shit.

-he had the fattest crush on Naruto I do not care lol.

-he doesn’t exactly hate sasuke. But he very much dislikes him because he mistreats Naruto.

-gaara is a crier. Like when he isn’t compartmentalizing and disassociating to cope with his mood swings and trauma, he is a leaky faucet.

-also convinced the whole chunin arc was a really fucked up way of him going friend? Because literally the only way he ever learned to socialize is through violence. The whole thing with him showing up at sasuke’s training was he tried to be friend cause he said “oh you’re fucked up too huh? Wanna fight about it?”

-gaara has the earth sign stank face when he doesn’t like something.

-gives solid advice

-modern au headcanons (might be courtesy of the moss cough cough) he would get into therapy and want to become a therapist lol, he gives solid advice. Also the incident with Lee will always be either he hits him with a car or my personal favorite (potentially for a fic I am brewing) he beat that fucker with a lead pipe when Lee tried to be a Good Samaritan and got involved :)

-also love the idea of gaara had substance abuse issues to cope in modern aus.

-oh and I love when shukaku is brought in as a fucking small crusty white dog with bad manners and barks too much. I may be biased because I have a white crusty small dog who barks too much and has an attitude that rivals god himself.

-gaara hilariously doesn’t actually like fighting especially as an adult. He by nature is nervous and it just sets his ass on edge.

-last thing I’ll say, he is a bratty bottom. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

#I just really love him okay #and I relate to him a little too much #I have way more headcanons #thank you for asking anon!#quinn speaks #anon ask #anonymous #gaara of the desert #gaara of the sand #sabaku no gaara #gaara #gaara x rock lee #naruto gaara #naruto anime #naruto shippuuden #naruto #naruto headcanons #gaara headcanons

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whetstonefires · 11 months

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I hope you're having an excellent day 😊😊😊 What about Wei Wuxian as Naruto?

Thanks! It was pretty good. I organized my embroidery floss and took advantage of being alone in the building to dance around like a maniac for about 20 minutes. My cat hated it. My knees aren't sure they approve either.

Wei Wuxian as Naruto has a lot going for it right out the gate. Orphaned sunshine boy protagonist types, now we're cooking with propane. They're even both fox coded!

However, at the risk of stating the obvious, if Wei Wuxian were Naruto he wouldn't be Naruto anymore. That is. Fundamental to Wei Wuxian is that he is brilliant and talented and he damn well knows it. He would excel without effort in ninja school--not as much as he did in Jiang Sect unless he unlike Naruto was still getting personal mentoring in honor of his late father, but still.

Difference is, when this Wei Wuxian slacks off in class and the teacher tries to embarrass him, if he reels off the correct answer and then reinvents senjutsu from first principles in a creepy-sounding way for a lark just to show off, the teacher is not going to think that he's just like his annoying late mother. (Though he'll still have one. Kushina and Cangse Sanren are fairly similar Dead Mom archetypes too.)

The teacher is going to think things like, no real child would say that shit and I'm expected to teach the monster fox that killed my family basic ninjutsu I hate this I hate this we're all gonna die.

So basically this Wei Wuxian gets his Yiling Laozu reputation mod as part of the starter pack. I don't think he'd handle it super gracefully! But not the worst, either.

Not even as badly as he did in the actual version, probably, on account of he doesn't know his own dark secret. So he can't self-isolate to protect it. Though him pulling away from people once he does learn would be cool.

He'd probably have forged slightly stronger social ties rather sooner than Naruto did, even if he was just as neglected and radioactive; Wei Wuxian doesn't care what people think of him nearly as much as Naruto does, but in some ways he's a more genuinely social person, and he's got much better social intuition, so it's easier for him to figure out what people want and either do that or not do that on purpose.

He'd have at least a bunch of casual friends. Mostly civilians, and other kids from ninja school whose parents told them not to play with him but they did anyway.

Wei Wuxian cannot do therapy no jutsu. He does not have that ability to confront and exist with emotional discomfort or that intensity of interest in what is going on with other people.

He does however have some level of Friendship Beam Attack (the plot to some extent hinges utterly on how effectively it hit Wen Ning) and it would presumably be more effective, in a shounen context.

But that's the thing, Wei Wuxian isn't really built to confront shounen manga style problems. Or, well, he is, but he's overbuilt for them; they're his bread and butter. One of Naruto's key motifs, early on at least before we got into the heavy power creep, is not being a genius.

Wei Wuxian, by definition, is a genius. He is the kind of guy who walks up to shounen manga sorts of problems scaled to what ought to be his level, handles them, and goes 'what, like it's hard?'

Wei Wuxian is designed to be destroyed not by external threats but by his own loyalties, politics, and lies. (Which was a point of confluence with Itachi I didn't really touch on because the flow was so different lmao.)

He's also, otoh, designed to be destroyed. Naruto is designed to start off artificially low and climb steadily up toward heaven. (Ymmv on how this worked out but he sure did escalate.)

You have to pick which schema to apply when performing the fusion--I mean, it's not either-or, the whole deal with Wei Wuxian is he goes through the entire arc of a tragedy and then comes back to life and stars in a romcom. These things can superimpose and stack. But there are structural decisions that have to be made early.

So anyway, Wei Wuxian as Naruto is not going to enter the Genin Team phase of life with the same priorities, even if he has largely conducted himself about the same way hitherto. 'Proving himself' so 'people will accept him' is not a motive that works for this character--you basically have to give him actual precious people earlier just to get him to care about attaining ninja rank at all.

Otherwise he would probably much rather loaf his way through his teens stealing jutsu and making trouble. Which is the well-adjusted reaction to the idea of becoming a child soldier, like. He likes recognition but 'showing off' is a reason he does dumb fun things, not difficult high-commitment ones. He's like if Shikamaru had ADHD and no parents.

Being twelve is going to make him dumber, but I can't see it making him not the kind of person who stops caring about his marks in school if the teacher is hostile.

If Wei Wuxian here isn't acting out of appreciation for the Hokage raising him, or something like that, you have to give him a practical motive to enter military service like 'Konoha stops supporting orphans out of the public purse at thirteen so he's got to get some kind of job and ninja is the least boring option' which. Is significantly less like either Naruto or Wei Wuxian in terms of reasons to do anything, and starts getting into solidly OC territory.

The whole fact that Konoha's worldbuilding centers around an attempt to move away from decentralized clannish social organization and promote the idea of shared, communal social institutions and (in theory) civil society, and the ways this does and does not work out for people especially considering it is still a relatively small military dictatorship, honestly interfaces super interestingly with how, in Mo Dao Zu Shi, one of the underlying challenges backstopping all character choice is that there is no feasible alternative to the clan system, and you have to pick a family-faction to depend upon and submit yourself to, or face the world with no safety net.

Like. Huh.

.....Kishimoto is honestly unusually-for-shounen well-grounded in the genres he's riffing on tbh, for all my bitching there were some very good reasons his work found such success; I would have liked to see what kind of story he produced without the insane pressures of the Weekly part of Weekly Shounen Jump. I wonder if he'll ever publish again. For all I know he already is lmao.

So anyway, however we manage it we get Wei Wuxian on his genin team with like. Lan Wangji and Mianmian or whoever. Actually that's hilarious. Yeah, make it lwj and lqy, both of them so done with his shit.

Setting up some wild role-reversal here--Lan Wangji being the one to go Away and Wei Wuxian asking him to stay? Or Naruto-person leaving into the dark, and Sasuke-person remaining and calling for him to come back? Either way. Getting some inversion. Tasty.

Where does this leave Jiang Cheng, though? Because in a lot of ways Uchiha 'Deuteragonist by Editorial Mandate' Sasuke is straddling both roles.

In many ways Wangxian is much more like if Naruto had an endgame romance with Neji. Which is a great ship tbh, I saw very little of it back in the day?? In a series with a smaller cast or with less Sasuke Creep (not sasuke being a creep, it's like power creep) it would probably have done numbers.

...Naruto going away for that timeskip really limited his opportunity to make connections in the village huh.

I guess it depends on the kind of narrative you're trying to put together. On one hand, you can do Jiang Fengmian as the rather-more-involved Third Hokage, with Jiang Cheng as an aged-up Konohamaru kind of figure. And then Jiang Yanli is standing in as both Iruka and. I know I know the ramen guy's name. Ichiraku. Soup! XD Emotionally significant soup!

But with a different backstory than either lmao. Kurama very possibly killed Yu Ziyuan in this universe, though I can't visualize her as a midwife.

[[[Why do I have so much Naruto lore on tap, there is no life value in knowing Sarutobi Hiruzen's wife was at ground zero of the Kyuubi attack because she was the expert overseeing Uzumaki Kushina's childbirth a;kdj;lafdks. I do not remember the things I was actually studying in high school nearly this well.]]]

(Actually Jin Ling is Konohamaru and Jiang Cheng is aged-down Asuma. But whatever.)

And in this case Wei Wuxian's genin team is Lan Wangji and Mianmian under idk who. Lan Qiren, possibly, although he seems more the Ebisu type. Lan Xichen? (It's not like he can serve as a plausible Itachi. Can you imagine.) Actual Kakashi, possibly; we can't replace everyone with mdzs characters; the cast sizes don't square.

Kakashi training Wei Wuxian is very funny to think about. He deserves this.

Or on the other hand for a different pacing and focus, the genin team is him, Jiang Cheng, and Jiang Yanli under Jiang Fengmian, who dies sometime after or probably during the climax of the chuunin exams. And Sarutobi stays Hokage, and probably doesn't die during the chuunin exams. And we aim for a Naruto/Neji kind of romance storyline lol.

What is the Lan Wangji equivalent of Neji exposing his caged bird seal in front of god and everybody and ranting (it is very unclear at what effective volume though you'd think the proctors would have shut him up if he could be heard from the stadium seating that shit was sedition) about his traumatic backstory and the deep injustices in his family's system of hierarchy? I'm gonna say Not That.

Wei Wuxian versus Lan Wangji important ideological-conflict bonding duel in the Chuunin exam finals sounds excellent though.

Either way Wei Wuxian is going to get much more thoroughly involved in the ugly ninja politics than Naruto ever did, and he's going to hate it so so bad and at least temporarily lose so so so hard. A likely story element is he becomes troublesome enough he winds up having to flee the village ahead of a scheme by Danzou to (fatally) rip the Kyuubi out of him and implant it in some thoroughly conditioned ROOT kid.

Maybe Wen Ning?? Idk. I'm mostly saying this because Wen Ning 1) canonically gets Victimized and Transformed and 2) shares some notes with Sai. And this means he's leaving, in part, for Wen Ning, which ties into some plot and character stuff from their original narrative. You could make it work.

Also him taking the replacement human sacrifice with him when he books it would be hysterical.

Anyway he's branded a missing nin and it is, canonically, illegal for him to tell anyone who doesn't already know about the kyuubi thing, so both Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji are appropriately what the fucking fuck and receive no adequate answer. This is a workable plot element.

Either the Jiangs or the Lans are the Uchiha, here, which has its own story value, lots of fun to be had. Gotta engineer a way he's protecting Jiang Cheng--does Danzou want to make him the jinchuuriki? Is Orochimaru or his replacement making a play for Jiang Cheng's bloodline limit, whatever it is, fun if it's eyeballs, and Wei Wuxian bargains to give him a jinchuuriki instead? Hmmm.

You want an inside and an outside threat, the obvious viper and the political spider, so you can silo information and make sure nobody entirely knows what's going on.

If it's Jiang Cheng who's assigned the role of bloodline limit macguffin, I have the very wicked urge to cast Yu Ziyuan as some combination of Itachi and Obito. Very Vader kind of effect.

Jin Guangyao as Kabuto, excellent, I need that innocent smile and those torture skills. This may require making Jin Guangshan much smarter than he really is just to fill out the ranks, or again you can keep Danzou as himself.

Tsunade is amusingly enough occupying an overlapping Baoshan Sanren and Wen Qing position; given one of them impersonated the other that time you'd have to do something with that. She's also got some Yu Ziyuan vibe up ofc. Tsunade just contains an entire franchise's supply of girlboss tbh.

Who could possibly stand in for Jiraiya, nobody, but at the same time. Wei Wuxian (with internal sapient asshole nuke) apprenticing under Jiraiya of the Sannin sounds like enough problem-creating goofy jackass genius clown energy in one place to open a singularity. That's too much. No narrative could survive.

Anyway someone please feel free to write this, I am intrigued but also will 100percent never ever put in the time it would take to realize any version of this concept.

#ask #hoc est meum #ramblebrambleamble #mdzs #naruto #fusion #meta #ig?????#return of the son of the jane bennet cinematic universe #fanfiction #the thing about protagonists is they require a story #if lwj is neji then mianmian is tenten #who is Rock Lee?#hard work...pays off...but lwj holds him in contempt...there is no such person????#actually it would have to be Wen Ning #he's friends with Wei Wuxian and lwj's petty jealousy grudge is even fiercer and pettier when he is thirteen #haha then wwx casually ships lwj/lqy while lwj resentfully imagines wwx/wql #phantom love triangles that do not exist! two of them!#beautiful #if you need wen ning elsewhere then disrespect rock lee's name and plug su she in as their third #this is so fun and so not productive i have so many other things i should be doing a;ldsksdf;#i play a lot with the dog thing but i'm pretty sure #the number one creative reason wwx is afraid of dogs is just #that's a traditional way for foxes passing as humans to give themselves away #motif~~~~

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