#lxc: *smiles even more* 'now that i think of it you were even worse'

[jar-of-vicissitudes]

54

Tomorrow, Wangji is leaving Gusu. Before sleeping, he checks if A-Yuan has packed everything to spend the week at Brother's.

“Dad, I'm not eight any more.”

“Do you have your comb?”

“Yes,” sighs A-Yuan. Who taught him to sigh like that?

Without giving Wangji a break, A-Yuan adds: “When can I come with you on a night-hunt?”

“When you are old enough to be named Sizhui.”

“I'll go with my class before that. And Uncle told me you would accompany him before you were fifteen.”

Brother, why.

“You need more training. Next year, maybe.”

A-Yuan pouts. Wangji only thinks: Already?

_____

previous - next 

[robininthelabyrinth]

Nie Mingjue the musical prodigy. Honestly anything with this idea, 3zun the cultivation world's 1st ever boy band? Secretly has mastered every instrument ever? (in canon you could have it play out where he knew at first that JGY was trying to kill him and kept hinting at it to LXC subtly but when LXC continued on blissfully oblivious NMJ assumed it was on purpose and that everyone was trying to kill him, and at that point since he was so close to qi deviation anyway better to die quick and fast then have NHS live through the long, drawn-out death their father had.)

“All right, I give in,” Nie Mingjue said after the third time Jin Guangyao played him the Song of Turmoil. “What does it do?”

“What do you mean, da-ge?” Jin Guangyao asked, though his heart rate subtly increased – he was pretty sure he’d covered his tracks with the combined song well enough that Nie Mingjue wouldn’t notice it, but there was always a possibility that something might have gone wrong. He had a plan for that, too: a whole list of excuses, explanations. He didn’t really understand what Lan Xichen had taught him, it was all his incompetence, etc.

“The song,” Nie Mingjue clarified, and there it was – he knew. Somehow or another, he knew. “It’s obviously different from the one Lan Xichen plays. What does your version do?”

“Da-ge, I’m sorry,” Jin Guangyao said. “If I’ve somehow gotten something wrong –”

“No, no, don’t, don’t start with that,” Nie Mingjue interrupted. “Do you think I’m an idiot? My sect doesn’t cultivate with music, and the only musical education I’ve ever received was during the one season I spent with the Lan sect, but I did learn something. Actually, Teacher Lan even said I was something of a prodigy…but either way, I’m very well aware that you don’t accidentally achieve effects with musical cultivation. If you get something wrong in error, it simply doesn’t work at all. It doesn’t create a new effect.”

Jin Guangyao was starting to feel a cold sweat on his back. Damnit, Lan Xichen had told him about Nie Mingjue’s summer at the Lan sect, and Nie Mingjue had mentioned it here and there, too – he’d just assumed that Nie Mingjue had been a prodigy at learning cultivation or rules or whatever, not music.

“Well?” Nie Mingjue prompted. “Don’t make me have to ask Xichen.”

That would be worse.

No, better to get ahead of the accusations now.

Jin Guangyao summoned tears into his eyes. “Da-ge, I’m sorry,” he said, trying for his best facsimile of sincerity. “If I’d had any choice in the matter, I wouldn’t have done it…”

“Oh, is it offensive? Really?” Nie Mingjue didn’t look as angry as Jin Guangyao thought he’d be. “Does it work slow or fast?”

Jin Guangyao hesitated. “…are you not angry?”

“That you were trying to kill me despite swearing brotherhood to me? I’m furious.” Nie Mingjue smiled, and it was as cold as anything Jin Guangyao had ever seen on Wen Ruohan’s face. “The only reason I haven’t pulled out Baxia and dismembered you this very second is because I, too, swore an oath of brotherhood to you, and I don’t break those oaths lightly…though if you kept poisoning me, I assume I’d eventually go mad enough to think that it was a valid option. Your plan was that it would look like a qi deviation, I assume?”

Jin Guangyao hesitated. Nie Mingjue took that as confirmation. “You’re not the first one to think of that,” he remarked. “But you’re going to be the last, my brother. Now tell me: does it work slow or fast? Or, perhaps more relevantly: how long would it take for this lovely little poison of yours to work if you poured it into your father’s ear instead of mine..?”

[ibijau]

👋🏼 Hello. For writing prompt thing 39. If you haven’t gotten too many of these. NMJ being super dotting on a pretty small baby. Baby could be NHS & LXCs, or NHS & JCs, or NMJ & MYs, 🤷🏼‍♀️

❤️ your writing!

me: aw, that's sweet!

also me: anyway, let's make it angsty

warning for implied trans character, and implied pregnancy of a trans man /o/

Jin Guangyao enters the room to the sound of cooing and meaningless blabber, and freezes on the spot.

His oldest sworn brother, sitting at his desk with a pile of work he ought to be doing, is instead playing with a baby. A very young baby. A month at the very most, going by the size of it… though since Nie cultivators tend to be large, maybe their children are as well, in which case it could be a little younger.

“Is da-ge babysitting?” Jin Guangyao asks, turning to close the door quietly to avoid startling the child.

When he turns again to look at Nie Mingjue, there is no trace left of the earlier softness he displayed while cooing at that baby. Instead, as always when confronted with Jin Guangyao, Nie Mingjue looks somewhat constipated.

“What are you doing here?”

Jin Guangyao startles at the barking tone, which has more bite than usual, even by Nie Mingjue’s standards. It has been a long while since his former sect leader has appeared this angry. They don’t get along anymore, not the way they used to, but Jin Guangyao had foolishly thought they were on the path to… not reconciliation, that would be too much to ask, but a certain understanding at least. There have even been times when he’s thought that Nie Mingjue looked at him with something that might pass for affection, though that always vanishes when their eyes meet, so he might have imagined it.

“Er-ge asked me if I could check on you,” Jin Guangyao explains as he comes to kneel on the other side of the table. Nie Mingjue holds the child tighter against his chest, as if fearing Jin Guangyao might stab it perhaps. Surprisingly, it hurts to be treated with such suspicion, even though Jin Guangyao ought to be used to it by now. “You were absent from that last discussion conference in Lanling, and you have refused all his most recent Night Hunting invitations, so he worries.”

He pauses, and looks at the baby, hit by a sudden doubt he dares not express.

“If da-ge fears that Night Hunting with er-ge will force him to spend time with me, we can make arrangements,” Jin Guangyao offers, pushing down that very ridiculous idea he’s just had. Nie Mingjue would have said something if… at least he would have told Lan Xichen, and nobody keeps these things a secret after the birth, do they? “I am very busy anyway, so I rarely have time to spend with er-ge. You don’t have to avoid him on my behalf.”

“I didn’t avoid him because of you,” Nie Mingjue snaps, his voice rising just enough to startle the baby.

It makes an unhappy noise, like a kitten mewling. Instantly Nie Mingjue’s entire body tenses, before he forces himself to relax and starts rocking the baby in his arms with that gentleness of his which still surprises Jin Guangyao every time he gets to witness it. It makes something go soft in Jin Guangyao’s chest, so soft it almost hurts, especially when he’s always been weak to the sight of fathers caring for their children. His mother used to promise that his own father too would be like that with him, someday, something he foolishly believed for far too long, in spite of how pragmatic he tried to be about other things.

“Is it yours?” Jin Guangyao asks, already knowing the answer.

Nie Mingjue just grunts, dropping a kiss on the baby’s forehead as it starts to calm down.

“I’m surprised you didn’t marry the other parent,” Jin Guangyao says. “Or did you just not think of inviting anyone? I can understand not wanting to see me, but er-ge would be disappointed. Nie Huaisang too, actually. And I know hecan’t have been there, that boy doesn’t know how to keep a secret.”

“There was no wedding.”

Something about Nie Mingjue’s tone startles Jin Guangyao, or perhaps it is the way the other man glares at him, again with more anger than he’s shown in a long while. Jin Guangyao can’t imagine why. It was a legitimate question to ask, he thinks. But then, he realises that perhaps the child came to be in… less than ideal circumstances. Jin Guangyao knows, as few people do, that Nie Mingjue is not like most men, something that he’s been asked (ordered) to keep to himself.

Something cold drops onto Jin Guangyao’s heart, freezing him solid.

He knows, indeed, that Nie Mingjue is a man like few others. He knows it intimately, because his sworn brother once trusted him, before things went sour between them, and because even after their relationship took a turn for the worse, in the early days after the war, there were a few occasions when drink and pent up emotions led to… lapses in judgement. It hasn’t happened in about a year, but…

Well, less than a year, really. More like ten months, more or less, because last time was when Nie Mingjue invited both his sworn brothers for a Night Hunt upon his birthday. They definitely drank too much that time. It wasn’t the only thing they did too much of.

“You should have told me,” Jin Guangyao says, unable to keep the pain out of his voice at this new proof of Nie Mingjue’s disdain for him. “Or… not, it can’t be that,” he adds, regaining control of himself, and bowing politely before his sworn brother. “You wouldn’t have kept it if it were mine. I’m sorry for even suggesting it.”

“If I’d told you, you would have told your father,” Nie Mingjue retorts, taking Jin Guangyao’s breath away, because it means it really is… “And then that old fart would have tried to use it against me. My sect’s safety comes first. Besides, I figured you’d rather not be involved.”

Jin Guangyao wishes it were an unfair appraisal of his priorities, and can’t help but wince at how well Nie Mingjue understands him, at least when it comes to the worst sides of him.

Of course he would have told Jin Guangshan. Possibly, foolishly, out of a hope that his father might mellow a little at the perspective of his first grandson, supposing Nie Mingjue told him before the announcement that Jin Zixuan’s engagement was to be renewed. Maybe also, yes, because there could be political advantage to be gained from this, and if Jin Guangyao can’t have his father’s good opinion out of affection, he’ll try to have it through his usefulness.

Nie Mingjue knows him too well.

And still he bore his child, when there are so many ways to prevent that.

“Why did you keep it?”

“I needed an heir,” Nie Mingjue says, gently rocking the child again, just the way Jin Guangyao now itches to do.

His child. He’s a father, but only because he did the one thing he always promised himself he wouldn’t do, spilled his seed carelessly and never thought twice about the consequences, leaving the details for the other party to figure out.

Like all those men at the brothels his mother worked at.

Like his own father.

“I refuse to believe I’m the only man who could have given you a child,” Jin Guangyao scoffs, clenching his fists over his knees, desperately wanting to reach over the table and beg to hold their child. “You’ve made it more than clear what you think of me.”

“I don’t take just anyone to bed.”

Ah, so that’s it, Jin Guangyao thinks, feeling the cold and heat of rejection. Of course in Nie Mingjue’s position, taking lovers is a delicate affair. Jin Guangyao can’t be what he would still go for, if he truly had a choice, but since he knows already, it was easier to continue like that than look for someone truly worthy of fathering the future sect leader of Qinghe Nie.

“I see. I am sorry da-ge had to settle for this one. And I suppose… no, of course I can’t be involved in the child’s life.”

“You can if you want to,” Nie Mingjue retorts, a strangle glint in his eyes which makes him look almost hopeful.

Hopeful that Jin Guangyao will know his place, no doubt.

And he does, of course. Everyone in the cultivation world has made sure that Jin Guangyao knows precisely what he’s worth to them, with his mother a whore and his father slightly less respected for having recognised him. The stain of his own birth would just be passed down on that child, on Nie Mingjue.

It doesn’t matter what Jin Guangyao wants.

It has never mattered.

“I think it best if I keep my distance,” he lies with a polite smile. “Don’t worry, I won’t interfere with your child’s life, da-ge, and I swear to never act as if I have any right to be part of its life.”

Nie Mingjue’s expression turns dark upon hearing this, which is no surprise. Of course he thinks that Jin Guangyao’s word had little value. He might not even be wrong. But for this, at least, Jin Guangyao intends to keep the promise he’s making.

It’s fine, anyway.

With Nie Mingjue being his sworn brother, he might still catch glimpses of his child here and there if he’s lucky, and watch it grow free from the disgrace of being descended from a whore.

[jiangwanyinscatmom]

i'm so TIRED of people with vivid imaginations trying to convince every1 the things their brains came up with happened in MDZS, just saw some1 say about lan mom "SOMETHING went down between a creepy teacher and their mother. She gets forced into marriage with a man she doesn’t love and IMPRISONED before eventually committing suicide/ falling sick and dying" like WHERE? the only piece of information was LXC saying "i have no idea WTF happened" so he doesn't know, MXTX doesn't know but you do???

Some of this is a shock for my system so early in the morning... alright... I guess we're gonna go step by step with this just cause people are awful at reading, along with my stance on this particular bit of prevalent discourse.

Since this is greatly misinterpreted for whatever reasons, here is the relevant passage and only one in the text we get concerning the Lan parents. I'm going to add that this is alllll relaid by Lan Xichen and to keep that in mind with what is highlighted.

He spoke slowly, “The reason that my father often practiced secluded meditation was my mother. This place, compared to a place of living… was more like a place of detention.”

Wei WuXian was surprised.

The father of ZeWu-Jun and HanGuang-Jun, QingHeng-Jun, used to be a famous cultivator. He made his name at a young age and had many things waiting for him in the future. However, at the age of twenty, he suddenly backed away and announced his marriage. He had also ceased to care for much of the world. Although it was called secluded meditation, it was much more like retirement. People had come up with many possible reasons, but none of them had been verified.

Lan XiChen bent down amid the clusters of gentians. He gently stroked those thin, tender petals, “When my father was young, when he returned from a night-hunt once, he saw my mother outside of Gusu city.” He smiled, “I heard that it was love at first sight.”

Wei WuXian grinned as well, “The young are often sentimental.”

Lan XiChen continued, “But, the woman did not care for him the same way. In addition, she killed one of my father’s teachers.”

This was beyond imagination. Although Wei WuXian knew that asking too many questions would be very rude, however when he remembered that they had been Lan WangJi’s parents, he felt that he just had to ask. “Why?!”

Lan XiChen, “I do not know. But, I assume that it was something along the lines of ‘grievances’.”

Wei WuXian didn’t ask anymore into this and forced down his curiosity, “And… what happened later?”

“And then,” Lan XiChen explained, “When my father heard of this, of course he was in much pain. But, no matter how he struggled, he still took the woman to his sect in secrecy. Ignoring the objections from his clan, he knelt with her for the Heavens and the Earth without making a sound and told everyone in the clan that she would be his wife for the rest of his life, that whoever wanted to harm her would have to pass through him first.”

Wei WuXian widened his eyes.

Lan XiChen continued, “After the ceremony was completed, my father found a house and locked my mother inside. He found another house and locked himself inside. It was called secluded meditation, but it was in truth to repent.”

He paused before speaking again, “Young Master Wei, can you understand why he did such a thing?”

Wei WuXian answered after a moment of silence, “He could neither forgive the one who killed his teacher nor watch the death of the woman who he loved. He could only marry her to protect her life and force himself not to see her.”

Lan XiChen, “Do you think that this was right?”

Wei WuXian, “I don’t know.”

Lan XiChen looked somewhat lost, “Then, what do you think would be right?”

Wei WuXian, “I don’t know.”

A while later, Lan XiChen whispered, “It could be said that my father did this without a care for anything else. All of the seniors of the clan were enraged, but they had all watched him grow up. They could not do anything except guard this secret, hint to the outside world that the wife of the GusuLan Sect’s sect leader had an unspeakable disease and could not see others. After WangJi and I were born, we were immediately taken away to be cared for by other people. When we grew older, we were brought to Uncle to be taught."

“My shufu… has always had a frank personality to begin with. Because of how my mother caused my father to destroy his own life, he began to hate those who behaved improperly even more. Thus, he poured his heart into teaching WangJi and me. He was especially harsh as well. Every month, we could only see Mother once, inside of this cottage.”

They were two young children, who faced everyday only their harsh uncle, strict teachings, and mountains of books. No matter how tired, they had to straighten their soft backs to be the most outstanding disciples of the clan, the model students in others’ eyes. They could rarely see their closest relatives. They couldn’t fool around in their father’s arms, they couldn’t act spoiled in front of their mother.

But they had clearly done nothing wrong.

Lan XiChen, “Everytime WangJi and I went to see her, she would never complain about how tedious it was being locked inside of here, unable to step out once. She had never asked about our studies, either. She especially liked to tease WangJi, but WangJi, the more you tease him the less willing he is to talk, and the worse of an expression he puts on. He has been like this ever since he was young. However,” he chuckled, “even though WangJi never said it, I knew that every month he was looking forward to the day he could see Mother. He was like this, and I was the same.”

Wei WuXian imagined a young Lan WangJi hugged inside of his mother’s arms, his snowy little cheeks flushed pink. He laughed as well. But before his smile had even melted, Lan XiChen continued, “But one day, Uncle suddenly told us that we would have no need to go any longer."

“Mother was gone.”

Wei WuXian’s voice was soft, “How old was Lan Zhan back then?”

Lan XiChen, “Six.”

He continued, “He was still too young to understand what ‘gone’ means. No matter how much others comforted him, or how much Uncle scolded him, he would continue to come back here every single month, sit down in the hallway, and wait for someone to open the door for him. When he grew older, he understood that Mother would not be coming back, that no one would open the door for him, but he kept on coming here.”

Lan XiChen stood up. His dark eyes looked into Wei WuXian’s, “WangJi has been so stubborn ever since he was young.”

The leaves rustled and the gentian flowers swished alongside the wind, their scent lingering. Wei WuXian’s eyes landed on the wooden hallway of the cottage. He could almost see a small child wearing a forehead ribbon sitting with proper posture in front of the house, waiting quietly for the door to open.

He spoke, “Madam Lan must’ve been a very gentle woman.”

Lan XiChen, “In my memories, Mother had indeed been so. I do not know why she did such a thing back then. And, in truth, I…”

He took a deep breath before confessing, “I do not want to know either.”

After a few moments of silence, Lan XiChen closed his eyes. He took out Liebing. A gust of night wind suddenly sent forth a sobbing note of the xiao. The sound was deep, like a sigh.

Wei WuXian had heard Lan XiChen play Liebing before. Its timbre was just like Lan XiChen himself, as warm and graceful as a breeze and the rain of spring. Yet, now, although his technique was as excellent as ever, the tone evoked a strange mixture of feelings.

The night wind swept by. Lan XiChen’s hair and forehead ribbon were already somewhat disheveled. However, the GusuLan Sect’s sect leader, who had always regarded appearance highly, didn’t pay any attention to them. He only put down Liebing after the song had finished, “Music is forbidden at night in the Cloud Recesses. Today I have overstepped far too many times. Excuse me, Wei gongzi.”

Wei WuXian, “How so? ZeWu-Jun, have you forgotten that the person standing in front of you is the person who has broken the most rules…”

Lan XiChen smiled, “The GusuLan Sect has never revealed these facts about Lan Wangji and myself outside of itself. I should not have told you. Tonight was my sudden urge to unburden myself, a spur of the moment.”

Wei WuXian, “I’m not the kind of person who talks too much. Don’t worry, ZeWu-Jun.”

Lan XiChen, “Regardless, I would assume that WangJi would not hide anything from you anyways.”

Wei WuXian, “If he doesn’t wish to talk about something then I won’t ask.”

Lan XiChen, “But, with WangJi’s personality, how could he say anything if you do not ask? There are some things that even if you ask him he would not say.”

Now that we have the context of the Lan parents laid out the only definitive answer for anything concerning their personal motivations for anything is "I DON'T KNOW". Their secrets and thoughts literally died with them.

And this entire story Lan Xichen told in the end, had nothing to do with his parents. He did not tell Wei Wuxian about them, he was speaking everything unsaid about Lan Wangji's motivations and his love of Wei Wuxian. He does not care why his parents did what they did, but he does for the one that is alive. His brother who he had just had a bit of a veiled conversation about Lan Wangji's pure trust in Wei Wuxian. Who, in Lan Xichen's eyes, had already rejected his brother's love and did not feel the same, mirroring the past of their father's apparent unrequited love. He is saying Lan Wangji is sacrificing his all, unvoiced.

His pressing of if his parent "are right" is him asking Wei Wuxian what he feels about those sacrifices, if he can see the sacrifices Lan Wangji had gone through. At this point he along with Lan Wangji have assumed Wei Wuxian knows and remembers what he had said within the cave. He is telling Wei Wuxian his brother has alway been this way for those he loves regardless of what they may be perceived as by outsiders.

"Today I have overstepped far too many times. Excuse me, Wei gongzi.”"

"I should not have told you. Tonight was my sudden urge to unburden myself, a spur of the moment.”

Meaning, it was not his place to tell this about his brother, but there is no one else that would, and Lan Wangji would never say anything about his feelings again. Lan Xichen is first and foremost worried about where his brother has placed his love, as he knows, regardless of what rumors surround those he loves, his brother will still be forever loyal to them without question if he believes them to be in the right.

Lan Xichen is warning Wei Wuxian he needs to take care in his actions as he approaches Lan Wangji as Xichen is well aware already of how Lan Wangji will go through hell for others he adores. From the start it was never about his parents, as Lan Xichen says, "I do not want to know either,". But what he does want to know is where Wei Wuxian stands with his own feelings towards Lan Wangji or if he is still using his brother as he has thought for years. Leaving Lan Xichen to protect him as best as he can while Lan Wangji stays hurt for others with no happiness for himself.

[guqin-and-flute]

Banquet Face Journey’s in Episode 26

(1) JGY: my bullshit detector is going off oh god oh no this asshole i stg

[TRANSCRIPT BELOW]

(2) Jin Zixun: hey i have the greatest fucking idea it’s so great like insult the central tenants of your clan great wanna hear it??? chug this

(3) LXC: *siiiiiiiiiiigh*

(4) LXC: okay so this is happening now, i guess

(5) Jin Zixun: DRINK MY WINE R U INSULTING ME TAKE A FUCKIN SIP BRO OMG AREN’T WE FREINDS?? C'MON U SCARED?

JGY: how u doin’, bb? i’m sorry about him

(6) LXC: i meaaaan not idea

(7) Jin Zixun: OMG DUDE WHAT’S UR PROBLEM IT’S JUST A DRINK MAN WHAT ARE YOU A PUSSSSSSS-

JGY: can u fuckin NOT?

(8) LXC: u ok?

(9) LWJ: i mean no i have the alcohol tolerance of a fucking baby turtle u know this plus i hate people and parties and this fucker in particular

(10) JGY: *tfw ur asshole cousin harrasses our straight edge boyfriend in the middle of a party*

(11) JGY: HEY I HAVE A GREAT IDEA

(12) JGY: LET’S STOP CAN WE DO THAT? CAN WE STOP NOW?? pls omg i hate this so much

(13) Jin Zixun: wtf party pooper

JGY: we are all having a nice evening could you please shut your stupid face

LXC: it’ll be okay, bro i got this

LWJ: don’t really think u do but ok

(14) JGY: i’m not gonna regret killing you even slightly

Jin Zixun: what?

JGY: nothing

LXC: ok bud u made wangji uncomfortable ur officially on my shit list

LWJ: i mean… i’m literally 2nd ranked cultivator

LXC: and i’m 1st hush now

(15) Jin Zixun: DUDE UR BOYFRIEND IS A WUSS WHY YOU FREAKING OUT BRO?

JGY: ah at the whims of assholes always where i want to be why do you do this to me

(16) LXC: i could literally end you right now, u know it wouldn’t even be hard this is really cool of u, jzx were it not for the laws ofthis land and my own self control, i would have slaughtered you

(17) Jin Zixun: CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG (x infinity off the page)

JGY: oh god he’s mad that’s his mad smile I’M TRYING HERE OK I REALLY AM

(18) LWJ: jfc could this day get any worse i’m just gonna think about all the great things that just happened in the forest OH WAIT there weren’t any

NMJ: should i be…doing something? stabbing someone maybe? keeping XICHEN from stabbing someone?

(19) LXC: WELP down the hatch i fuckin GUESS wow politics are just so fun

(20) LXC: *slorp*

(21) JGY: what’s the opposite of turned on? horrified? sounds about right

Jin Zixun: hell yeah bottoms up bro

LXC: #suffering

LWJ: wtf peer pressure is BAD brother

Random Jin Guard in the corner: hate these fuckin parties

(22) LXC: thanks for the invite, jin clan learned a lot today didn’t know alcohol tastes so much like rage hello darkness my old friend [in the headband] This_Is_Fine.jpeg

(23) Jin Zixun: READY, BABY LAN BITCH

JGY: i fucking hate family reunions

LWJ: i’m gonna crush ur fuckin skull with my m i n d

Bonus background stares

(BONUS) JGY: i’m so sorry ilysm

LXC: i also love you

JGY: i fuckin tried

LXC: i know u did

[i guess this will be a thing now? here’s more]

[meltingheartsandcores]

A tale of Wangji misunderstanding his brother.

I had the idea of LWJ misunderstanding LXC’s insistence on discussing WWX as LXC being interested in WWX and viola! I hope you enjoy!

Wei Wuxian wasn’t expecting a letter from Lan Wangji, in fact, considering their latest interaction, it was the last thing he expected. But, here it was. In plain view. Waiting to be opened. It wasn’t any notice of expulsion, or else it would be from Teacher Lan. Maybe it was a warning? Gloating?

No. No. Lan Wangji wouldn’t gloat.

“Stop worrying and just open the stupid letter. You’re keeping me up!” Jiang Cheng protests. Wei Wuxian sticks his tongue out at him but opens the letter and reads.

And grows more confused.

“He, wants to meet me after curfew.” He also gave a place, well, he said to meet where they first fought and Wei Wuxian doesn’t feel like explaining it to Jiang Cheng or telling him. Ever.

He lost two good jars of wine that night.

“Good for you. Maybe he wants to bash your head in.” Jiang Cheng grumbles and rolls over, finally going to bed. Wei Wuxian would never actually sleep at nine, but he’ll suffer waking up at five. Mostly because he has no choice in the matter. Still, he’ll meet Lan Wangji for this weird meeting. Why it can’t just happen within Wei Wuxian or Lan Wangji’s room, he doesn’t know. Maybe he does want a rematch. But, would he break the rules for that?

An hour passes before Wei Wuxian sneaks out and heads to the rooftop he met Lan Wangji on that night. His curiosity was palpable but he stayed silent as he sat on the roof. Lan Wangji wouldn’t be late, right? It was impossible for Lans to be late, right? Their body clock was incredibly accurate. Maybe he fell asleep? Lan Wangji would’ve grown up going to bed at nine, maybe he couldn’t stay awake?

Wei Wuxian’s worrying was pointless as minutes after he starts, Lan Wangji jumps onto the roof and sits down beside him.

“Ah, Lan Zhan. What’d you want to talk about?” Wei Wuxian asks, but Lan Wangji doesn’t answer. Instead, he puts a silence barrier around the roof they were on. Ohhkay. This is weird. “What’s going on?”

“I think Xiongzhang has a crush on you.”

“...what?” Does Lan Wangji have another brother? Because he can’t be referring to Zewu-Jun. That’s just- no. Not possible. Maybe he misunderstood something? Lan Wangji doesn’t always seem to grasp social situations correctly. “Uh, why do you think that?”

“He talks of you a lot. And asks me about you, along with asking how I feel about you.”

“How you feel about me?” Lan Wangji feels something other than annoyance with Wei Wuxian?

“Not relevant.” Okay, rude. “Xiongzhang seems interested in you.”

“Ohkay?” People have had crushes on Wei Wuxian before. He mostly ignored them. And considering he rarely interacts with Zewu-Jun, that won’t be a problem. Except that it’s Zewu-Jun. Lan Wangji has almost certainly crossed some wires. “Are you sure it’s a romantic interest? Maybe he’s just invested in you having a friend?”

“We are not friends.”

“Ah, Lan Zhan, I painted you a portrait.” Wei Wuxian wasn’t entirely sure what he did with it once Wei Wuxian handed it over because there was an incident that distracted him. He hopes Lan Wangji didn’t shred it like that book. “And we’re gossiping on a rooftop about your brother. We’re friends.” Wait. Wei Wuxian grins, “Lan Zhan, isn’t there a rule about gossiping?”

“We are not in Cloud Recess.” Wei Wuxian huffs a laugh, his smile growing at Lan Wangji using his own reasoning from that first night.

“Fair enough. So, have you talked to your brother about his alleged crush on me?”

Lan Wangji shakes his head, “I don’t believe he realizes.”

“No offence, but I think Zewu-Jun is more attuned to emotions than you.” Wei Wuxian’s comment earns him a glare and he shrugs, “You’ve been mostly isolated with only other Lans for company, Zewu-Jun has to go to clan meetings and shit. He’s more socialized than you. You literally have rules about being too happy or too sad.” Wei Wuxian could, annoyingly, recite the 3500 rules by memory now and write them all by muscle memory now. And there were far too many rules dictating what emotions you were allowed to feel and how to express them.

Lan Wangji’s glare softens back into his default expression and nods. “He is blind to his own feelings. He had a crush on Chifeng-zun throughout childhood, it was annoying. And he has no recollection of it.”

Wei Wuxian has never met Chifeng-zun, but from what he’s heard, he’s pretty sure most cultivators of their generation have a crush on him. Wei Wuxian included. He’s ripped, he’s giant, and he’s hot. Wei Wuxian has no plans on proposing marriage, he has enough anger issues from Jiang Cheng and Madam Yu thank you very much, but he’s not oppose to anything less.

“Most people have crushes on Chifeng-zun. It’s not that surprising, him allegedly having a crush on me, however…” It was doubtful. “Lan Zhan, if you’re so sure he has a crush on me, why haven’t you talked to him about it?”

“It would be inappropriate.”

“But it’s not inappropriate to talk to me about it?”

Lan Wangji shakes his head, clearly, Wei Wuxian misunderstood. “He would deny it regardless. The feelings are inappropriate.”

Wei Wuxian’s first thought was the fact that the feelings are of a cutsleeve, but immediately dismisses that because they were just talking about Chifeng-zun. No, so, why… ohhhh. “Because I’m a junior disciple under GusuLan’s protection and he’s sect leader. If he were a worse person, he could use his influence to get what he wants. And if Uncle Jiang heard he might assume the worse.” Ugh. Stupid politics. Even if Uncle Jiang didn’t, someone would. They would see a Clan Leader taking advantage of a visiting junior disciple. Despite only being three years apart. Great.

Wei Wuxian hates politics.

“So, what’s your plan? Why tell me about it?” Because Wei Wuxian can’t see a reason.

“Do you return the feelings?”

Wei Wuxian shrugs, because he can’t answer definitively, “I don’t know him well enough. I don’t really interact with Sect Leaders. Physically, yes, I am attracted to him. And from what I’ve heard he sounds like someone I’d be attracted to but I don’t really know him.”

Lan Wangji nods, “So you will get to know him. If you do not return the feelings then there is nothing to be done. They will disappear on their own.” Wei Wuxian isn’t sure about that logic, but maybe it was true for Zewu-Jun? According to Madam Yu, it was not true for Uncle Jiang. “If you do return the feelings…” Lan Wangji trails off, clearly at a loss.

“Offer to keep in contact once I leave? Maybe visit? If I’m not a guest disciple, but just a guest, it wouldn’t carry the same negative weight.” Lan Wangji nods in agreement.

“You should return to your bed.” Wei Wuxian nods and hurries back to his room, thankfully, he was not caught breaking curfew.

He did, in fact, wake Huaisang and immediately tell him about what Lan Zhan said. Huaisang was too groggy to properly react.

Immediately anyways.

About half a schichen later he shoots awake and wakes Wei Wuxian back up to interrogate him on Zewu-Jun’s apparent crush.

_-Morning-_

Regrettably, Operation Get To Know Zewu-Jun is on hold as Zewu-Jun left that morning for Qinghe. However, that meant Wei Wuxian had ample time to drag Nie Huaisang and Lan Wangji away from people to make a plan. Since this was apparently happening.

“I still can’t believe Xichen-ge has a crush on you. No offense Wei-Xiong, but,” Huaisang looked doubtful.

“Lan Zhan said so. He knows Zewu-Jun best, right?” Wei Wuxian protests, turning to look at Lan Wangji at the same time as Nie Huaisang. Lan Wangji, looked determinedly uncomfortable.

“I do not understand what else he could be feeling. He talks about Wei Ying all the time, asks me about him, what else could that mean?” Ok, Lan Wangji sounded like he was actually confused. Well. He sounded vaguely unsure, barely a change in his tone, but, still. For Lan Wangji that’s complete confusion.

Nie Huaisang taps his fan to his chin, “That’s a good point. So what’s our plan?”

“Wei Ying will get to know Xiongzhang, if he does not return feelings we will cease.”

“And if he does?” Wei Wuxian blinks, realizing what he said and corrects, “I mean. If I do?”

Lan Wangji does not answer. Still clearly as unsure about that as last night.

Nie Huaisang, thankfully, has some ideas. “You wait until the classes are over, and you graduate, then you offer to keep in contact. Maybe do some night hunts or meet up. Go to dinner.” Nei Huaisang’s face scrunches up, “You’re going to have to get a taste for Gusu food.”

Wei Wuxian makes a similar face to Huaisang, “I can bring in chilli oil, right?” Wei Wuxian turns to look at Lan Wangji.

“Do not poison Xiongzhang with it.” Was Lan Wangji’s only response. Which was as good as agreement.

“Great. Now how do I get to know Zewu-Jun better?”

“Da Ge might know. I’ll send him a letter today, he’ll probably respond in three days. And we have at least a week before Xichen-ge comes back. So. We’ll have lots of time to practice.” Nie Huaisang informs, then asks, “But Wei-Xiong, why didn’t we bring Jiang-Xiong with us?”

Wei Wuxian makes a face, “Jiang Cheng might not respond well to my potential lovelife.”

“He makes many remarks about your lovelife.” Lan Wangji states.

“He jokes. Let’s just say it’s best if he finds out later. Will Da Ge really be that helpful though?” Nie Huaisang looked offended at the mere idea.

“Chifeng-zun became friends with Xiongzhang at a young age. His advice may be out of date.” Wei Wuxian was thankful for Lan Wangji’s support.

“But he’ll offer a different opinion!”

_—_In Qinghe_—_

Lan Xichen would appreciate it if Mingjue would stop laughing. It was not that funny! “What is so funny?” Lan Xichen didn’t think him bemoaning Wangji’s failure of a lovelife was funny!

Mingjue didn’t answer for another minute, too busy laughing. He takes a deep breath before he does, a smile still on his face, Lan Xichen couldn’t be angry with him. Mingjue wasn’t happy often anymore. Especially not to this extent. “You think Wangji is in love with Wei Wuxian.” Mingjue repeats, looking very close to falling back into laughter.

“Yes. Why is that funny?”

Mingjue chuckles a little before he says, “Because. Wangji thinks you’re in love with Wei Wuxian.”

What.

“What?”

How-

Why-

Mingjue bursts into laughter again. “Stop laughing! Why does Wangji think that?” Lan Xichen demands, very much at a loss.

Mingjue’s laughter titters off, “I don’t know. He told Wei Wuxian who told Huaisang who told me. I was not privy to the inner workings of your brothers mind Xichen.”

“That doesn’t make sense. I barely know Wei-Gongzi.”

“So does Wangji but that didn’t stop you from assuming.” Mingjue refutes.

“They had a fight under the moonlight and Wangji started calling him Wei Ying after a week.” Lan Xichen deadpans.

“...Fair enough.”

“Why did Huaisang write to you?” Lan Xichen asks, he can’t imagine Wangji thinking he has a crush on Wei Wuxian was that noteworthy.

“He wanted advice on getting to know you. Apparently their current plan is seeing if Wei Wuxian likes you back after actually knowing you. They have no plan further than that.”

That… sounded regrettably like his didi.

Lan Xichen sighs, then furrows his brow slightly when he notices Mingjue looking at him intently, clearly thinking. Mingjue, was not a tactful person, he would say what’s on his mind eventually. He’s sure Mingjue has something meaningful to say. Maybe about their brothers. Maybe a solution to their new problem of his brother, Wei Wuxian and Nie Huaisang believing Lan Xichen has a crush on Wei Wuxian. Since Wangji will take any denial on Lan Xichen’s part as polite denial based on Wei Wuxian’s current status as a guest disciple of GusuLan. So. Lan Xichen waits.

“Is there a chance you have a crush on Wei Wuxian?”

He shouldn’t have waited.

[drwcn]

discordance!verse part 8(2/2): there are consequences to their actions, consequences they can’t avoid.

in which wwx is lxc’s husband through political alliance, and there is an affair.

[8.1] | [7] | [6] | [5] | [4] | [3] | [2] | [1] [synopsis] OR

see [discau tag] or [discordance navigation page] for all installments  

Both 8.1 and 8.2 are posted on AO3 Chapter 4

The verdict came at dusk.

Yinzhu, Madam Yu's handmaid and bodyguard, bows to Jiang Yanli, "Da-xiao'jie, Wei-gongzi's presence is requested."

Over at jingshi, a senior Lan disciple does the same. "Zewu-jun, Hanguang-jun's presence is requested."

.

"Not to worry, A-Xian, we will go together."

"I shall go with you, Wangji."

.

"Da-xiao'jie -"

"Zewu-jun-"

.

"- the Elders request that he goes alone."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Wei Wuxian arrives at the Lan family's sacred ancestral hall, Lan Wangji is already there, kneeling alone before the altar, flanked by Gusu and Yunmeng's elders and their stern and silent gaze. He braves it without any signs of distress. His back is straight, his posture unbent and his spirit unbroken. Like him, Lan Zhan is dressed down in a plain white robe, no guan to hold up his hair, only a bare strip of white cloth.

To see him relatively well, Wei Wuxian releases the anxious breath he's been holding high in his chest. The last thing he remembers is passing out in Lan Zhan's arms in front of Songfeng Shuiyue. They were beating Lan Zhan with the whip…they were… And then Zewu-jun had arrived.

Of course Lan Zhan is fine. He is Hanguang-jun, Gusu's Second Jade, the second ranked cultivator of our generation…Lan Zhan is fine… he's fine…

Shijie tells him it's been seven days. Has it really? He wonders. Only just? Why does it feel like a lifetime has passed?

Eyes turn on him as he makes his first step into the abbey, and he's never more thankful for the potion the healers fed him pre-emptively than at that moment. He knows he must look a sight, as much as shijie has tried to clean him and make him proper. It could be so much worse; at least he is walking independently instead of being hoisted by disciples. The mixture of milk of poppy and cannabis extract dulls the fire burning along his back just enough for it to be bearable.

Shijie was none too unhappy that he has to trek all the way to the ancestral hall by himself, but Wei Wuxian is not so bothered. When one decides to bed one's husband's brother, it is only natural that one must prepare for the possibility that one's ass is going to get flayed. The situation as it is, his affair is a thing of public knowledge and his reputation is in tatters. Once, he had boasted to Xue Yang that if he, Wei Wuxian, is the second most shameless person in the cultivation world, then nobody would dare to be first.

It was truthfully a bit of an exaggeration, for he had been a beloved ward of Jiang Fengmian, Head Disciple of Yunmeng Jiang, the son of Cangse Sanren, and the fourth ranking cultivator of his generation.

Now… now he's just a problem. Even His mother would be ashamed.

Wei Wuxian stumbles, and the sound of his shuffling steps has Lan Wangji whipping around, eyes growing wide at the sight of him.

Do I really look so awful?

"Wei Ying!" He pushes to his feet but a single pulse of spiritual energy from an elder strikes him in the leg and forces his back onto his knees again. His porcelain mask crumbles and the raw pain underneath bleeds through.

A tinge of red seeps through the white of his robes, like a plum flower blooming amidst snow.

Wei Wuxian is suddenly acutely aware of the waning of Lan Zhan's cheeks and the pallor of his skin. Lan Zhan seems subdued somehow, almost as if… he's still confined by spiritual locks.

Without his cultivation, his wounds won't heal.

Worry lances Wei Wuxian in the chest, hot and sudden. Beneath his breast-bone, his physical heart aches within its cage. Struggling another three steps, he falls gracelessly onto his knees. His breath shakes, beads of cold sweat breaking across his temple and clinging to his hairline. The potion's numbness is starting to wear off, and the wave of pain rising inside him is almost enough to topple him to the ground. Still he holds on. He squeezes his eyes shut and gathers his breath, but he knows he must appear pathetic like this, half wasted before the Lan and Jiang Elders, Uncle, Madam Yu, and all of Gusu Lan's ancestors. No amount his usual shield of devil-may-care attitude could protect him now from his own sense of embarrassment.

"Wei Ying." Someone whispers his name. A firm grip finds his elbow, pulling him up.

Lan Zhan has shifted closer, so close in fact their thighs are almost touching. Cool, gentle fingers caress his face. He holds Lan Zhan's hand out of need and desperation.

Inexplicably, the elders allow this, but it doesn't bode well. Rather than perceiving it as leniency, Wei Wuxian is seized with dread.

Kindness is something one shows to a prisoner sentenced to die.

~~~

Lan Wangji is terrified.

The fact that the elders of Gusu Lan and Yunmeng Jiang are able to deliberate and come to a consensus within half a day, that Yu Ziyuan and Lan Qiren can peacefully tolerate each other's presence without devolving into a shouting match, that neither xiong’zhang nor Jin-xiao-fu'ren are permitted to attend - are reasons for his frightful premonition.

There are candles and oil lamps lit all along the hall, illuminating the tomb plaques stacked neatly one row above the next up the wall of names.

With a nod from Madam Yu, Uncle rises from his seat and approaches him and Wei Ying. His expression is sullen and sad.

"Wangji, Wuxian. The Elders have discussed at length. Initially we had considered xiu'fu to be the most direct solution, but Yunmeng Jiang Sect has made it clear a divorce is not acceptable. After some convincing, Gusu Lan Sect concedes. Despite the rumours and the gossips, we recognize that you are both equal participants in this affair. Neither one is more guilty than the other…and in any case, Xichen himself is not the least bit bothered by any of this. The dissolution of your marriage, Wuxian, is not why we've summoned you both here today before our family's ancestors."

With a permissive gesture, Uncle beckons a Lan healer to enter the hall.

Lan Wangji's blood grows cold as the healer stops before him and Wei Ying, bows once, hands a tray to Lan Qiren containing two identical jade cups filled with clear liquids, and shuffles out without glancing once at either of them.

He hears Wei Ying inhale sharply, the fingers laced between his own squeeze impossibly harder.

So this is what it shall be.

Two cups of poisons to end the scandal, to wash them of their sins, and to restore honour to its rightful place.

Lan Wangji looks to the man he loves with his entire being, and finds Wei Ying's equally panicked eyes staring back at him.

This can't be real.

"Shufu -" Lan Wangji inches forward on his knees. Wei Ying has already taken three hundred and one lashes for him and nearly lost his life in process. He's never owed Lan Wangji anything, and even if he did, surely the debt's been paid in full and then some. He doesn't deserve this. "Shufu - shufu, forgive Wei Ying! This is my fault - "

Lan Wangji is the instigator. Since that first night at the wedding banquet, he's lost control of himself. Wei Ying annoyed him, yes, but only a little. Even since day one, Lan Wangji was able to recognize that Wei Wuxian from Lotus Pier has wit, spontaneity, and heart. His talent with a sword impress even those that disliked him, and he wields it with a sense of right and wrong that is fluid and innate, and has nothing to do with the rigid precepts carved in stone.

Lan Wangji fell without realizing, without warning, slow and sudden all at once.

He envied Lan Xichen who had all of Wei Ying and didn't know it, didn't treasure it. He envied Jiang Wanyin who held Wei Wuxian's sworn loyalty as brother, as family. He envied Jiang Yanli, who could draw the light to Wei Ying's eyes with a simple well-wishing letter and a smile from his lips that was warmer than the hearth in a winter storm, than the sunrise on a summer day.

He envied them because they had so much of Wei Ying and he had so little and wanted so much, but now he has everything…

…and what a price his desires demand.

"Shufu - Madam Yu -" Lan Wangji turns to the matriarch of Yunmeng Jiang and knocks his forehead to the ground. "Please believe me, this is entirely Wangji's doing. Wei Ying is innocent! If anyone is guilty, it is Wangji!"

"No! Lies!" Wei Ying protests, pushing Lan Wangji out of the way to say, "Don't listen to him, it's my fault- I -"

"That's enough." Lan Zonghui interrupts the youngsters' panicked tirade, always the cold voice of reason. "Perhaps you should allow your uncle to finish."

Lan Qiren grimaces, as though he can't make himself continue. Tightening his grip on the tray, and he says, "This transgression goes beyond the breaking of vows or the marriage of two individuals. The dignity of two great sects are at jeopardy. Since you are the ones who started it, you must be the ones to finish it. You must've known the consequences of your sins when you both chose this insane course of action, so we ask nothing but that you find the decency and courage to face them. Neither Gusu Lan nor Yunmeng Jiang are the deciders of your fates. As you are both equally at fault, to blame one over the other would be unjust. Therefore," He presents them with the cups.

"Only one is laced with poison. Which one you choose to drink is entirely up to you."

Lan Wangji's head is light, and he barely thinks before he asks out right, "Why not both?"

Lan Zonghui tilts his head curiously. "Do you think you deserve to die together?"

Of course not. That would be too kind.

Wei Ying closes his eyes as tears fall.

"What do you intend to do with the other?" ask Lan Wangji, glaring up at Lan Zonghui with mutiny in his eyes.

"Seclusion, to repent for your sins -"

"Wei Ying!"

Lightning fast, Wei Wuxian has already swallowed the content of cup closest to him and is reaching for the second cup.

It did occur to Lan Wangji earlier that if he moves quickly enough, he can grab both and drink both, but while he wrangled with how to best execute his plan, Wei Wuxian is already in motion.

Lan Wangji shouts something incoherent as the others in the room gasp. His powers may be sealed, but Wei Wuxian is carrying the wound of three hundred lashes. Even now, they are evenly matched. Lan Wangji knocks his hand out of the way at the very last second, stealing the second cup right out from under his reach and downs it in one go.

The drink tastes like nothing. Like water.

No…

He stares at the cup in hand then up at Wei Ying, assuming the worst, but Wei Wuxian is staring back at him with equal terror, seemingly not in any kind of danger. He must've tasted water too.

Was it… was it a test?

Lan Wangji dares to hope. He looks to his uncle, "shuf-", but then he feels it.

It's not pain, but he feels it, crawling up from his belly and overtaking him inch by inch. He lurches forward, falling onto his palms, the jade cup clattering to the ground.

"Lan Zhan!" Wei Ying collects him in his arms and shakes him furiously. "Lan Zhan!! Stop fooling around! You can't die, they're not going to let you die, I'm not going to let you die, so - stop it! Stop messing with me!! Stop pretending - Lan Zh- Lan Wangji if you die now I will never forgive you!!"

Lan Wangji tries to say something, but he can't. Death is heavy, like a woolen shroud coiling tighter and tighter around his body. He's already lost sensation of his limbs, and even his vision is starting to blur. Whatever the poison is, it works fast.

Wei Ying is full on sobbing now, all pretenses of composure gone.

Wei Ying… I couldn't protect you when I should have.

He wishes he could speak these words aloud, or to touch that lovely face one more time, but he is relieved nevertheless that fate chose him. It is the intolerance of their world that demands one of their lives, but Lan Wangji finds he cannot regret his actions, despite his life coming to an end. To have met Wei Ying was a gift, to have loved him was a blessing, and to die for him now is an honour. Even when he's gone, he knows Wei Ying will be taken care of; xiong'zhang would ensure that much even if he is powerless to stop the will of the Elders.

It should shock Lan Wangji how quickly he's made his peace with death.

Wei Ying's cries drown out his senses, and he wishes again that he could somehow comfort him. Of all the things that has happened since Su She discovered them in the back mountains, his own demise is one which he willingly accepts. Above all else, he refuses to go with a broken heart, because then it would all have been for naught.

Lan Wangji smiles. To spend the last moment on this earth in Wei Ying's arms is indeed not so bad.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wei Wuxian feels it the second Lan Zhan grows still in his arms. Eyes closed, a smile lingers on his peerless face.

"L-Lan Zhan…Lan Zhan!! Lan Zhan!!"

He's still warm, pliant. Soon, soon he won't be. No, no Wei Wuxian refuses to let this be the end. It just can't.

Still holding onto Lan Zhan, he lunges forward and grasps onto Lan Zonghui's robe hem beseechingly. "Elder, elder please help him!" But Zonghui shakes him off.

Wei Wuxian glances frantically back and forth at the stone faces around him, desperation and despair brewing into hysteria inside him. Then, he finds it, the one pair of eyes not glaring at him in cold condemnation but pity.

Gently setting Lan Zhan on the ground, Wei Wuxian tries to get up, but his body does not obey. The back of his thin white robe is already soaked through, the vigor of his earlier movement having undone all of the healer's work. Too far gone to care now, Wei Wuxian crawls forward on his elbows and knees until he reaches Yu Ziyuan.

"Yu-fu'ren, please, please I’m begging you, give Lan Zhan the antidote! There has to be an antidote, right?! There can still be a chance - I'll die- I can die right now if you want me to! But save Lan Zhan, save him please! He is Gusu's Lan-er-gongzi, Gusu's Second Jade, my husband's little brother! I've already ruined my marriage, my reputation, my standing amongst the cultivators! Zewu-jun is kind and magnanimous, but even he won't want me now, especially if Lan Zhan is dead because of me! What is the point of letting me live?!! There is no future for me anywhere, but there still a future for Lan Zhan! Yu-fu'ren - no - shimu, shimu please, A-Xian has never begged you for anything in this life, please, if for nothing else than the fact I have been raised under you wings, help me save Lan Zhan, please…"

Madam Yu slowly bends down, hooking her index finger under Wei Wuxian's chin and lifts it up. "You would die for Lan Wangji?"

His face blotchy and snotty from sobbing, Wei Wuxian hiccups. "I - I would. Right now if you wish it."

There's a beat.

"Wangji isn't dead."

It is Lan Qiren that speaks. Yu Ziyuan releases him. Wei Wuxian twists around to see Uncle's hand pressed against Lan Wangji's left carotid. "Just out cold. You'd know if you thought to check instead of letting appearances fool you."

Disbelieving, Wei Wuxian struggles back to Lan Zhan's side to verify for himself. With trembling hands, he turns Lan Zhan over and gathers him in his arms. Though he knows there is nothing to fear, he still can't help pressing two digits to Lan Zhan's neck, checking to make sure the precious pulse is still there. Sure enough, Lan Zhan's heartbeat is strong and his breathing deep and unlaboured.

Alive.

Wei Wuxian blinks, still reeling from the mental whiplash of the sudden revelation, but the steady thrumming beneath his fingertip coupled with comforting sight of that warm, flushed cheeks give him the courage he needs to face what is to come.

Lan Zonghui steps up to him and says, "You said so yourself. There is no future for you. Now you understand now why it always has to be you." From his qiankun sleeve, he retrieves a small porcelain bottle.

The real poison. Wei Wuxian realizes, sagging in relief. The irony of his emotions is not lost on him.

"What did you actually give us?"

"A strong anesthetic."

"Then… how come I'm not affected."

"The antidote to the anesthetic was laced into your pain medicine, which the healers gave you before you were summoned," Lan Qiren explains.

Sleeping…he's just sleeping. Thank god, oh thank god.

Lan Zhan is alive. He's going to be fine. But…Wei Wuxian grows worried again, imagining how Lan Zhan will react to his death once he comes to.

"What will you tell him? When he wakes up, he's going to realize you've tricked him." Lan Wangji can be the most stubborn when he's fixated on a goal. There's no telling what he would do. "You have to… you have to protect him from himself."

"He won't know. We will tell him that one cup had the poison and the other an anesthetic. The poison is slow acting while the anesthetic is fast."

"He will question it. Why the anesthetic? Why the smoke and mirrors?"

Lan Zonghui looks from him to the boy lying unconscious cradled against him. "Does he really want to be awake to watch his lover die in his arms as you just assumed you did? We will tell him it's mercy, so that the remaining party won't have to watch the process happen. He will be allowed to say goodbye to you at the sect funeral. We will grant him that."

"Sect funeral?" Echoed Wei Wuxian, surprised. "You… Gusu Lan Sect would bury me with honour? Even after…"

"That is the compromise." It is a Jiang Elder - Jiang Liliang, Wei Wuxian believes -  who explains to him. "The Lans will recognize you as one of their own. No ceremony will be spared. In death, you will be given all honours and decorum befitting the husband of Sect Master Lan. The action of an individual should not affect the relations of two sects. This is a stance the elders of both our families unanimously share."

Wei Wuxian nods, understanding, finally calm after all that crying.

"I'm still worried about Lan Zhan. You must swear to -"

"Wangji will be under guard at all times until the funeral, after which he will be sent to sealed seclusion for three years. He won't have access to his powers or means to harm himself. Time dulls all pain. So too will Wangji's. Someday, you will just be a mistake of his youth."

A mistake of his youth…

Indeed.

Lan Zonghui picks up the cup Wei Wuxian had discarded on the ground and pours the content of the vial into it.

Wei Wuxian wonders what it actually is.

"Do you have any more questions?" Lan Qiren asks him, sullen but not unkind.

"None."

"Requests?"

Requests? Ah yes. Last rites. At least they let him have that, and if he may, there is in fact something he'd like to do.

"One."

"You may name it."

"Turn around."

"I beg your pardon?"

"I'd like to kiss Lan Zhan. One last time. So unless you'd rather watch me do it, turn around."

"Look around you, you insolent scoundrel!" One Lan Elder whose name he can't recall cries out in anger. "You're in the ancestral hall, Wei Wuxian! How dare you?!"

But Wei Wuxian hugs Lan Wangji close and swallows his pride. For what seems like the thousandth time since he arrived, he begs, not for himself, but for Lan Zhan.

"Please."

He expects that even after his death, he would be the smear in Hanguang-jun's otherwise pristine history, but he doesn't want to be just that, not completely. This, he will leave with Lan Zhan. Even if only one kiss out of their thousands is sanctioned, it will still be better than nothing.

One kiss, just one.

Perhaps they understood him, for Lan Qiren and Yu Ziyuan turn away without further protest, and Lan Zonghui too. Grumbling, the rest of the elders follow suit, displeased and somewhat disgusted by his shamelessness, but Wei Wuxian is due to die any second now, so they allow him this one offense.

"Sleep well, Lan-er-gege, I've gotta go now," he whispers for no one to hear.

Their last kiss is slow, chaste, and Wei Wuxian prays.

Lan Zhan, for yourself sake, I hope you can slowly feel less for me. I would hate to know you spent the rest of your very long life sad. But maybe...don't forget me completely? How does that sound? Or else I'd be a very sad ghost…

Lan Zhan... next life, let's not be brothers-in-law, hm? If you want, I'll wait for you, however long it takes I'll wait. When we meet again, I hope it's still at night. I never did tell you how beautiful you were under the moon.

I promised, I would never leave you, so I won't. You have me, as long as you want, you'll have me. As long as you want me with you, I am not gone.

Wei Wuxian says none of those things out loud, but the soft expression on his face as he smiles down at Lan Zhan must've spoken volumes. This is a man close to death, and yet his smile is kind, soft, and sincere.

Lan Qiren makes a low cough in the back of his throat, telling him time is up.

Wei Wuxian presses his lips one last time to Lan Zhan's forehead, and lets him go.

"I'm ready."

The healers on standby transport Lan Wangji's body to the infirmary.

Lan Zonghui stands before him with the solution to this disaster.

Wei Wuxian knows that as long as he dies, all of this can end. A decision unanimously agreed upon by Yunmeng Jiang and Gusu Lan, to all those who hear of his story, his death will not be an unfair sentence. There is no bias. No undeserved blame. It is...it is Wei Ying's lot in life to be the one chosen by fate to die. The gods must've seen that Lan Wangji is good and worthy of redemption. As long as he dies, faith and righteousness will be satisfied.

"What is it?" He asks Elder Zonghui curiously. 鹤顶红? Crane's crimson crown? Probably. That is the most likely.

"天子泪."

Emperor's Tears. Wei Wuxian almost laughs. Of course, of course it is.

"It tastes like Emperor's Smile, but it is not. It is a gentle poison and will take some time to take its effect."

It's funny, Wei Wuxian muses as the jade cup is presented to him, how such a lovely thing is to be the instrument that ends his life. He accepts it with both hands, obediently, bringing it close to his lips. The familiar aroma of the clear liquid makes him smile.

He bows thrice, properly, his forehead meeting the marbled ground with a dull thud each time.

Wei Wuxian takes his last drink with the same vigour as he took his first. Eyes closed, savouring every drop. Then, clasping his hands before his chest, he draws all the energy in his body and rights himself onto his knees, facing the altar.

"I, Wei Wuxian of Gusu Lan, repent before the forefathers. May you forgive my transgressions and release me from my mortal sins."

And protect Lan Zhan. He prays. For I will no longer be able to do it.

Briefly, he wonders if there are Gusu Lan forefathers with a sense of humour. For all this to play out front of them, surely the less uptight ancestors must be thoroughly entertained by the dramatics of it all. Death, he imagines, must get boring after a while. In any case, he'll find out soon for himself.

.

"I'd like to spend my last moments alone."

.

Lan Zonghui looks to Yu Ziyuan and then to Lan Qiren. An unspoken agreement passes between them. One after another, elders of the Lan and Jiang clan vacate the ancestral hall. The heavy doors grind against the hinge, a low somber moan, as it is pulled shut, leaving Wei Wuxian kneeling amongst the candlelight.

The slow poison is not so slow. Perhaps in his reduced state, its effect is amplified, for soon after he is left to himself the air in his lungs begins to burn. A gush of blood surges up his throat filling his mouth.

If he's honest…okay, he's a little scared. Just a tad.

Hey demons, it's me. Eighteenth level of hell here I come…

In his last conscious moments, his thoughts linger on the sweet tang of Gusu's Emperor's Tears, and of Lan Zhan that very first night standing alone under the eave, away from the wedding festivities, an ethereal figure basked in the moonlight. There is a force pulling him down, and he collapses under the weight of it, right there in front of the altar.

The world is dark before he even hit the ground.

.

He does not hear the clash of Shuoyue's energy against the entrance, blasting open the doors, but he does perhaps hear the fainting voice of his sister calling his name.

A-XIAN.

.

Dusk falls, night arrives, and Wei Wuxian is gone.

---

Note: 

[shimu 师母] - shi = teacher, mu = mother. The wife of one's shifu

[isozyme]

just listened to "something to do w my hands" and WOW YEAH the savior complex & the need to support someone but a lil bit in a selfish way bc then that makes himself a good person... also YES idk why i haven't seen this yet but he's actually extremely smug & judgemental if you watch the corner of his mouth in cql it's VERY funny. would love your thoughts on why you think he doesn't ever put himself together again/come out of seclusion? have seen args either way & i think it comes down to jgy!

yessss you understand lxc!!!! the way his relationship with jgy is about lxc’s hunger to be needed, to be special, to be the only one who can see who jgy really is, to be better and kinder and more fair than everyone else, oof, it’s so good. i am hype to share my opinions on why lxc is irreparably broken at the end of the series.

to start, importantly: i basically take lxc/jgy as canon. i don’t think the plot makes sense without it. they are fucking, they love each other, they’ve both fucked around with nmj and that shit is fraught. you can’t convince me otherwise and all of my meta assumes this is fact.

i think lxc knew that jgy's hands were dirty, and almost certainly suspected that jgs’s death was jgy’s doing. i don’t think he knew about nmj, or how gross jgs’s death was, the incest stuff, etc. i think he saw enough to know that jgy probably killed his dad, went “you know what, that’s fair, i can forgive him for that” and decided that if he didn’t dig any deeper he wouldn’t have to know for certain and he wouldn’t be forced to do anything about it. lxc averting his eyes so he didn’t have to confront jgy doing a couple murders led to some...uh...bad stuff happening.

so that’s guilt #1.

then there’s guilt #2: he killed jgy. he got tricked into being a weapon and he put a sword through jgy’s chest.

guilt #3: he still loved jgy, even though jgy was an objectively vile person. he grieves jgy and he feels guilty for grieving and it fucks him up!

when it comes to lxc and guilt, you gotta take into account that this man has been told his entire life that he’s the most talented person in the five clans. he’s the first jade. he’s peerless. lxc strives for perfection and is pretty sure he’s basically nailed it, which means he believes fundamentally that if a thing is possible, he is capable of doing it. are we seeing where this is going? yeah. lxc thinks he could have stopped all of this. if he’d looked closer. if he’d been less selfish. it’s all on him. it’s his fault.

building on the “lxc has put his own damn self on a pedestal,” issue, now that he’s fucked up so spectacularly, all that certainty that he’s a perfect person is torn to shreds. he can no longer trust himself to make any good decisions. a huge part of his self-concept was a lie all along. he was not good. he was not fair. who the fuck is lan xichen if he’s not the cultivation world’s shining beacon?

in guanyin temple he shuts his eyes, drops his hand, and decides he doesn’t care how he dies, because he’s fucked up so bad. all the fight goes out of him. i don’t think he’s ever going to heal entirely from that moment.

oh also he’s really really angry and is absolutely not going to acknowledge that or deal with it, because lxc doesn’t do angry. (that’s the cost of having perfect control of your temper.) he’s furious that this happened to him and he was massively betrayed and that nhs used him and that his brother chose right when he chose wrong. so that’s fucking him up on top of the guilt and the grief.

basically that’s why i think lxc is permanently damaged by the end of cql. he’s never ever going to go back to being the first jade, zewu-jun, lan-zongzhu. that identity has been thoroughly destroyed. with time he might recover enough to be a functional member of the clan, but he’s always going to be fragile.

as for the seclusion question! i’d totally believe it if lxc walked into seclusion and never came out. that seems in character to me. with the right coaxing, he might come out again. absolutely not before at least 5 years have passed. likely longer. when he goes into seclusion i certainly don’t think he’s planning to ever return. 

it really hinges on lz, who’s the only one with a chance of drawing lxc back out into the world. lz is stubborn enough to do it! eventually, even lxc would be worn down by “my beloved little brother, who i basically raised from a child, kneels outside my door for eight hours on the first day of every month, the same way he did outside our mother’s house after she died, and i can’t stop remembering scooping up his cold little body out of the snow where he’d fallen asleep waiting, again, for someone who’s never going to emerge, watching him kneeling bravely during lessons the next day even though his knees were so, so bruised, and i’m repeating every single mistake our parents made only worse because i know exactly how much it’s hurting lz because i’ve watched it before.” 

i personally headcanon that a decade or so after guanyin temple, lxc shows up unexpectedly at lz’s shoulder at a cultivation conference. he’s got the exact same smile and makes the same polite conversation, because those things weren’t ever particularly connected to his actual emotions. but he’s thinner, and he holds himself like a porcelain statue, one missed step away from shattering. if he thinks nobody is looking at him, the smile stays on but his face doesn’t move, like there’s just nothing there underneath the polite expression because he’s not putting any effort into animating it. it’s unsettling as fuck!! he’s useful, efficient, great at killing evil things, he eats, he drinks tea, but you can tell his tether to the physical world is tenuous at best.

after guanyin temple, lxc never weighs in on a single important political decision ever again.

ONE THOUSAND WORDS LATER, that’s why i think lxc’s not gonna just bounce back from this one!

[qobiin]

those bluest skies above me

pairings: lan wangji & everyone (lwj&lxc, lwj&nhs, lwj&lqr, lwj&nmj), background nielan

genre: angst, fluff | dragon lan wangji au, pre-canon

warnings: implied/referenced non-con (concerning madam lan), canonical character death, injury, mild blood, shifting, scenting, lan sect being not so good

a/n #1: written for the MDZS Big Bang 2020! the title is taken from steven universe's "that distant shore" bc i feel it bodies lwj's thoughts about wwx perfectly. thinking of the dragon dynamics similar to how abo works will help you with understanding them, but to be clear: there is nothing sexual going on in this fic. madam lan's story has so many gaps that bother me a lot bc when i look at the gaps i see a backstory like the one i gave her here since it's just what makes sense when you really think about it. the non-con is only talked about somewhat in-depth in one scene and mentioned briefly across other scenes afterward. if you want to skip the heavier bit of it, stop reading at "Then why, Lan Zhan asks with his eyes." and pick back up after the art that minzi made to accompany this <3 hope you enjoy! 

words: 25291

summary: Lan Zhan’s memories begin from the moment he hatches out of his shell and meets his mother’s golden gaze.

part one of gentleness of light, escaping 

Lan Zhan’s memories begin from the moment he hatches out of his shell and meets his mother’s golden gaze.

He only has to take one look at her to know that she is the one who laid his egg. She is the one who made his comfortable nest, who sat with him every day until he was ready to hatch.

Even for a dragon, Lan Zhan is certain that she is the most beautiful woman in the world. Her scales glimmer under the candlelight. Dark blue, green, and brown surround him as her golden eyes glow.

A young boy sits on the edges of Lan Zhan’s nest but still within Mother’s embrace. He looks almost as beautiful as their mother, even if he isn’t in dragon form himself. There is an ornament tied above his eyebrows that gleams when he moves and matches the liquid silver of his eyes.

There is no mistaking that this small boy is his brother. He can smell his mother on the boy’s skin and in the air displaced when his dark hair moves. He can see their mother in the curve of his brother’s smile and the awe in his gaze as Lan Zhan finishes slithering out of the broken remnants of his shell.

Lan Zhan stares at them both, transfixed and loving every image his eyes relay back to him. He makes a rumbling sound in the back of his throat, feeling content and loving his mother and brother more than he could ever hope to describe. His mother mirrors his rumble and his brother’s brows furrow before his expression clears as he smiles again.

His thoughts at that time are fleeting and underdeveloped, his memories are crystal clear but hold no further insight. This is something that an older version of him will miss when his memories are only plagued by questions and doubts. For now, however, his mother helps him clean his scales then scents him thoroughly.

Her whiskers brush against his snout only once and when Lan Zhan sneezes, his brother laughs. His laughter is soft and tinkles wondrously in the air around them. As the sound begins to fade, Lan Zhan decides he will do whatever he needs to do so he can hear his brother’s laugh again. Mother wordlessly guides Brother through appropriately scenting him as well and Lan Zhan shivers under the soft human hands his older brother is trailing over his face and neck.

His sire is nowhere to be seen.

(Later, Lan Zhan will be grateful for this. For the moment, however, he focuses on spreading his scent all over his weyr in return.)

Gold and silver quickly become a favorite of Lan Zhan’s.

For the first two years of his life, Lan Zhan always remains at his mother’s side.

He sees his brother only once a month and decides very quickly that he dislikes how little time they get to spend together. Brother smiles and laughs often when he is with them but Lan Zhan gets the sense that this is the only time his brother smiles and laughs so easily.

Lan Zhan dislikes that too.

His mother is beautiful and warm despite the cold river that runs through all three of their veins. She is gentle when needed and appropriately harsh in her reprimands. Lan Zhan has much he wishes to learn and he does not begrudge the discipline she hands out to him when he does something unbecoming.

He is much stronger than humans. His brother, though as much as their mother’s son as Lan Zhan, only has one form which just so happens to not be a dragon. Lan Zhan has to be aware of his strength at all times lest he hurt Brother or any other human who does not deserve it.

Even if his instincts are not as strong as Mother’s, partly in thanks to his sire’s human blood diluting most of the traits she passed down, Lan Zhan strives to practice caution at all times. His inherited instincts also do not excuse him the few times he allows them to override his thoughts and Mother, though loving, does not hesitate to put him in his place by pinning him and growling until he submits.

In their weyr, Lan Zhan is not the Head. Lan Zhan is a Claw, and maybe when he is much older, he will become the Head of his very own weyr but that is not the case now. Neither Lan Zhan nor his Head is a fucanglong who takes their hoard and hides it from the world like a jealous lover, but Brother is the only Treasure in their weyr. It is expected of Lan Zhan to guard him as well as he can even if he is the younger sibling.

Lan Zhan pushes himself to absorb as much information as he can the first year after his birth. Many of the things he learns make him angry, others are simple facts he memorizes quickly to keep everyone around him safe. He practices his strength, practices not calling upon elements to do his bidding when his emotions threaten his control. He practices remaining calm, staying alert, and always being conscious of how much damage he could carry out if he were to ever lose himself.

Control is difficult, but Mother knows enough about his nature to direct his instincts and impulses where they are needed in order to keep him present and non-threatening. In both her first and second forms, Mother shines as bright as moonlight and Lan Zhan loves her as much as he loves Brother.

That is why it is easy for Lan Zhan to shift into his second form once a year has passed since he first hatched. For his weyr, Lan Zhan finds himself able to do anything as long as it benefits them.

He is much smaller than he is accustomed to in this new form of his, but when he sees the joy and relief in Brother’s eyes the next time he visits, Lan Zhan finds this development welcome. Brother can pick him up easily in his new form and he still kisses Lan Zhan on the forehead as often as he did before, rubbing a hand over his hair where his horns would usually be.

The gentleness that now accompanies his brother’s movements soothes the urge Lan Zhan has to bury so he does not suddenly shift back into his first form. If he were to shift too quickly, he could harm his brother and that is one thing Lan Zhan never wants to do.

Lan Zhan can walk without much difficulty in his second form but speech is harder for him. He sticks to monosyllables and pointing, for the time being, brightening each time Mother and Brother interpret him correctly. Even if his ability to speak is worse than most human children his age, Lan Zhan is content with being understood by his weyr.

His thoughts come slower to him as a human and he at first feels like he is going to burst back into his dragon form at any moment. It is difficult to remain in his second form, but after a fashion, Lan Zhan is easily able to consciously shift between both his forms. Mother’s golden eyes gleam with pride and happiness as Lan Zhan’s growth continues. Even when sadness begins to lie in the shadows of her gaze and scent, her pride and love for him envelop him in their midsts gently.

He does not understand why Mother grows sadder with each passing day until two years have passed since Lan Zhan first hatched. Brother visits them that day as he normally does but he arrives accompanied by a man who introduces himself as their uncle. Uncle explains that he will now be taking care of Lan Zhan and his brother full time instead of Mother and Lan Zhan is no longer allowed to stay with her in seclusion. The Clan Elders believe that Lan Zhan has learned most of what he requires to live a peaceful life without his draconic tendencies interfering and he shall now be brought into the Gusu Lan Sect good and proper to be raised alongside his older brother.

His instincts do not want to be far from the Head of their weyr. Lan Zhan himself does not want to be taken from Mother, but she is his Head and Brother is their only Treasure. He must protect him in their mother’s stead and if that means he is only allowed to see Mother once a month from now on, then so be it.

It doesn’t shock him that Brother does not look happy after hearing this news. Still, there is a sharp line of resignation in his shoulders that tells Lan Zhan all he needs to know.

If it were up to Brother, neither of them would ever be kept from Mother. Mother would be living with them wherever they wished to go just as long as they were together. Unfortunately, this matter is not being left to Brother so they will have to make do with what they can since it does not seem like the Head of their weyr will do something to keep them with her either.

Brother hands a box to Mother who opens it, angling it so Lan Zhan is also able to see the white ribbon identical to his brother’s own lying within. Lan Zhan kneels before her, both of them in their second forms as she ties the ribbon around Lan Zhan’s forehead. She fixes his hair and presses a kiss to the ribbon once she is done, the slant of her mouth loving and unhappy at the same time.

Lan Zhan pokes at the familiar clouds adorning his ribbon and nods, showing his acceptance of these turns of events.

He still cries that very night in his new shared quarters with Brother. He does not make a sound as he weeps, more than sure of the fact that he will be punished if anyone that is not his brother catches him at this moment. Just because he accepted being taken away from Mother does not mean he enjoys this. His acceptance does not change the fact that he is only two-years-old and is being kept from his mother.

Brother wakes only to slide into his new bed beside him and scent him until they both fall asleep with a shared longing for their mother inside their hearts.

Uncle does his best, Lan Zhan knows.

It does not change the fact that his instincts wail and weep to see the Head of his weyr every day. That one day a month is not enough to satiate the ache and longing within his four-year-old body to see Mother. That Lan Zhan is a Claw and is not ready to become a Head in his mother’s place just yet. That Lan Zhan still does not know everything he should to steadily curb his instincts until he has found a way to balance both sides of his blood.

Brother’s instincts are weaker than Lan Zhan’s own but he knows his brother still feels them within his darkest depths.

Lan Zhan is only allowed to shift back into his first form twice a week and he always makes certain that he is allowed to shift in the presence of his Head. He frequently finds himself schooling his expression so no one except Brother and Mother may know what he is feeling. He might not be as tall or as imposing in his second form as he is in his first, but that doesn’t mean he will make it easy for others to take advantage of him.

Many of the children close to his age tend to avoid him in the children’s hall because of his supposed lack of feeling. Lan Zhan doesn’t mind. He likes the distance kept between them, especially since he still has not tamped down the urge to shift into his first form when he is drastically startled. Knowing that the fragile, weak human children around him aren’t staying too close is comforting in case his grip on control ever slips. Nevertheless, Lan Zhan finds this unlikely to happen since he guards himself against his baser instincts with a viciousness that surprises his own mother.

It shouldn’t surprise her though. Not when considering the whispers trailing after him that the Clan Elders think he cannot hear. Lan Zhan has excellent senses, only further improved in his first form. Even when he accompanies Brother and Uncle to the cold springs far away from the areas most of the residents of Cloud Recesses pass through, he can hear the poison dripping from their mouths.

They want to show him off to the cultivation world. They want to use him as a threat against the other Great Sects. They want him to lose control so they can punish him and make an example out of him. They want to say, Look at what we did to this dragon and her offspring. Look at what we have the power to do to everyone with these dragons under our thumbs.

Lan Zhan is young. He is much too small in his second form when considering the way he feels. He improves in controlling what expressions flit across his face. He gradually enhances his ability to tamp down on his feelings instinctively calling out to the elements around him when he is overwhelmed. He is polite and cordial to Brother and Uncle in public, but as affectionate as he can be when they are in private quarters with no risk of being interrupted. He learns to meditate, learns about the reassuring joy of music, and picks up the guqin. Due to his golden core forming while he is still so young, Lan Zhan is now considered a prodigy in his own right.

Lan Zhan is many things, but he is not ignorant. He can always smell the terror that shadows every interaction people have with him and how they recoil whenever he moves too quickly or gives off an aura much too powerful for a newly turned five-year-old child. He is never able to disappear from other people's awareness no matter how much he wishes it. Because of this, he never once presents himself as anything less than the perfect Lan every disciple in his sect strives to be. Especially not where others are able to see and somehow use it against him in the future. His status as a prodigy only further alienates him from the rest of his sect members and as a result, loneliness is something he has quickly grown used to.

The three thousand rules that the Gusu Lan Sect is infamous for become his word of law, his guide in this dangerous territory. By all rights, Cloud Recesses is Lan Zhan's. He is the first dragon to be born here on this mountain, up high in the sky. By the rights bestowed upon him through his mother's blood, this makes the area his. Makes the people who live here fall under his jurisdiction and protection alike. Cloud Recesses should be his, but it is not.

The Clan Elders are the ones with the power here and Lan Zhan is not going to give them a reason to put him down.

When he explains this to Mother on his next monthly visit, she cries. She weeps and sobs and pulls him into her frail arms. He wants to remind her about the rule concerning excessive sadness but decides to bite his tongue. Now wouldn’t be the time for that.

So he lays his head against his mother’s shoulder and wraps his arms as far as they can go around her, holding her as tightly as she is holding him. The Head of his weyr crying brings him no joy or comfort, but Lan Zhan is at least glad that Brother fell ill yesterday so he would not be subjected to their mother's tears along with him.

"A-Zhan, my poor A-Zhan," she murmurs into his hair.

Lan Zhan understands that Mother is sadder than most, that her dragon spirit is slowly dying with each passing day she spends away from the earth and rivers that bore and nurtured her. It is why he learns as much as he can from her.

Mother tells him about the different kinds of dragons. Tells him that no matter what their different aspects may be, every dragon has a bit of fucanglong in them. She tells him Grandfather's name and that since he was a fucanglong, Lan Zhan will have more of that in him than others of their kind would. That she has much of her father in her no matter that she was born the same as her mother since she hatched in the roaring rapids of a river. That Lan Zhan is a shenlong made for the rain and clouds that frequent Gusu Lan, even if Mother herself is a dilong who misses the earth and her river and is not meant for the skies like him.

"You hatched on this high mountain and in these clouds. That is why you are a shenlong, A-Zhan. A dragon's being is determined by the nature they hatch in, not the nature they inherit from their parents," Mother says, her voice soft and clear despite her tears. "But never forget that you will also have a bit of me and your grandfather as well. You enjoy visiting the cold springs often, correct?"

"Mn."

"The cold springs settle the urges I passed down to you when there was nothing more than a delicate shell separating you from this world," Mother explains. "Water does my bidding, but both water and wind will do yours. A-Zhan, it may one day be the reason you fly. Not all shenlong do, not even most, but I have a feeling you are capable of it."

Lan Zhan nods, understanding this as fact. He knew most of this already and guessed the rest but hearing it relayed back to him from his Mother settles the feelings within him.

Mother smiles and presses a hand to his face, cupping his cheek tenderly. Lan Zhan blinks and suddenly feels the urge to cry as he realizes that while he may be able to indulge his safer and more basic urges, the Head of his weyr cannot. Mother is confined to this house hidden within the back slopes of this mountain with no river or large body of water nearby. The sitting room is only big enough to accommodate her first form if she coils up around the table they sit at for tea.

Why is she here in this house hidden high within the clouds?

"What's wrong, A-Zhan?"

Lan Zhan blinks rapidly up at his mother, opening his mouth to speak before he loses his nerve. "Why are you here?"

His Head sighs, her fingers now carding through Lan Zhan’s hair. “I am meant for the earth, for the firm press of dirt, the freshly tilled soil, and the winding rivers that always lead back to the sea. Not the sky. Not the clouds, winds, and rain that you are meant for, A-Zhan.”

“But⎼” Lan Zhan begins to say, not liking the implications of his mother’s words one bit.

“Let me finish, A-Zhan. This is not something I ever planned to tell you at your age but we are different from regular people. You are already beginning to understand your place in this world, and it would not be fair of me to never share with you how the circumstances of your birth came to be,” Mother speaks right over him, smiling when Lan Zhan meets her golden gaze with furrowed brows, both of them thinking of the rule forbidding one to interrupt others.

Lan Zhan huffs out a breath he will deny is a sigh and nods his head once more, eyes still locked onto his mother’s own. “Mn.”

And so she tells him. Tells him of how when she was still a whelp, Grandmother was captured by the Jin Sect and killed for her beautiful scales. That Grandfather was, understandably, furious about this but she was only sad and confused. That she never understood how humans could ever trap a being as powerful as Grandmother. That she did not think that could ever happen to her, especially not after Grandfather hid her with his other Treasures.

By this point in her story, her gaze is wistful and far-off. “Baba took us underground and hid us from the rest of the world for our own safety, but I was unhappy. I was still young and I ached for the rivers that ran above our heads. I wanted to explore and see this world for myself. I could not survive under Baba’s rules forever, so I waited. Baba left to hunt one day and I took that as my chance to escape. I had always planned to return, but now I will die without ever having Baba’s scent on me again.”

“Mother,” Lan Zhan rasps, his eyes already itching.

Mother continues, acting as if Lan Zhan has not spoken. She tells him of posing as a rogue cultivator for some time after first joining the cultivator world. How she used the money she received from the night hunts she completed to buy herself a sword. Forming a golden core wasn’t a task too difficult for her, just as it was not difficult for Lan Zhan either. Those like them are very intelligent and have always had enough patience to test even the Great Immortals the cultivation world attempts in vain to become.

Here Mother bends and presses an absent-minded kiss to his forehead ribbon, quickly resuming from where she left off in her story. “I was in Caiyi Town when I met your father, A-Zhan. He was young and handsome, but he smelled all wrong to me. He claimed he fell in love with me from the moment our eyes met, yet I have never loved him.”

Then why, Lan Zhan asks with his eyes. His Head sniffs, her eyes watering again.

She explains that not too long after meeting his father, she decided to try alcohol for the first time before she left Caiyi Town and moved on to the next night hunt that was calling her name. The inn she was staying in claimed their brew was the best in all the Great Sects. She believed it would be acceptable for her first try, so she ordered a jar with her usual dinner in the inn’s public dining area. One of the Clan Elders was there as well, sitting a table away from hers, drinking tea and doing nothing else. Mother says that she did not think anything of it at the time. She was more preoccupied with the alcohol being stronger than she had first been led to believe. Soon enough, she was intoxicated and stumbling around, trying her utmost best to return to her room by herself.

The innkeeper had offered to help her up to her room once it was quite clear that she was inebriated, but the Clan Elder insisted that he would do it instead. Mother only agreed because she knew she needed help and he had seemed friendly enough to her. But once they reached her room, he did not drop her off at her door like she thought he would. He refused to leave as she struggled to shift into her first form to defend herself from his attack. The alcohol had made it difficult to focus and she had been attempting to shift ever since she first realized the Clan Elder was not going to leave her alone as she had hoped. She knew there was a way to use her golden core to burn the alcohol out of her system, except the enormity of her emotions did not allow her to think clearly.

“I have never been able to forget that man’s face,” Mother says, her eyes wide and blown with the depths of her pain. “I planned to leave Caiyi Town not long after that until I found out I was with child. There was no doubt in my mind that man was the father.”

Lan Zhan does not know what to say. Since the moment he hatched, he believed he and Brother to be the results of his Mother’s strained marriage. Now he finds that to be false. Brother and he do not share the same, exact blood.

Knowing this somehow sparks a wave of insurmountable anger within him. The depth of the anger he can feel burning in his chest both terrifies and reassures Lan Zhan. He has never been angry before, not like this. Not to the point where it feels like his rage could swallow him whole and churn him back out completely changed. This type of response is unexpected, of course, but he finds it valid nonetheless. His mother was hurt, and his brother was a product of that hurt meaning, in a way, Brother was also hurt by this.

“Brother is not…” Lan Zhan decides to ask before he trails off as he realizes he is unwilling to finish his question.

“A-Huan is your brother,” Mother says without hesitation, her voice firm and leaving no room for doubt. “His father may have hurt me, but I love him as I love you. He is not your half anything, A-Zhan. A-Huan is your brother because you are both my sons. He inherited many of my physical traits in this form, so much so that no one would ever suspect you two of having different fathers. That is what your uncle said to me before he took A-Huan away.”

Knowing all of this somehow makes the angry, vicious pit in Lan Zhan’s chest feel all that much worse. He has always known that Mother’s seclusion had been forced upon her as a form of punishment. The full implications of this had never quite registered until now though. Lan Zhan could never pinpoint what rule she had broken that was severe enough to warrant her level of punishment. Rule-breaking and Mother had never gone hand-in-hand to him, not when both she and Uncle had been the ones to instill such deep respect for the three thousand Lan Sect rules within him.

Something was missing from the picture before and now that a part of it has been given to him, Lan Zhan almost wishes he had never paid attention in the first place.

“The Clan Elder…” Lan Zhan trails off again, unsure of what he means to say exactly.

Mother understands though. His Head has always understood him when his words tended to fail him. “I killed him for what he had done to me. It was mercy in my eyes. Baba would have done so much worse if he had ever found out. Others saw differently, however.”

She stops there for a moment, her gaze uncertain. Lan Zhan nods, determined to hear this through until the end. Even though he does not know what the Clan Elder did to his mother exactly, he wants to know if that man’s death is the reason Mother is imprisoned here. Mother takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, tears tracing down her cheeks silently.

“Your father was already the Sect Leader by that point. He convinced me to marry him. He said he would protect me and your brother. I agreed even though I feared he might do to me what one his sect’s elders had done, but your brother was already one of my Treasures by then, A-Zhan, and a Head keeps their Treasures safe,” she sighs, gently wiping Lan Zhan’s tears away with her thumbs. “I never understood the position Baba was in until I felt your brother’s heart beating within me. I knew he was not going to be enough like me to keep himself safe. He would be born mostly human and I did not dare shift into my first form lest it harmed him in any way. I had to keep him safe and no one believed me when I told the other Clan Elders why I killed one of their own.”

Mother is crying again, her words trembling as she rambles. “No one but your father and uncle accepted my words as the truth. Your father put me here and then secluded himself due to guilt and grief alike. I had killed one of his sect after all. No matter how awful that man had turned out to be, he had influenced your father and uncle a lot as they were growing up themselves.”

“Mother,” Lan Zhan whispers. “You need not continue.”

But his mother only shakes her head, pressing onward. “I had A-Huan here and only got to hold him for a few moments before he was taken from me. His monthly visits began at the same age yours did. He had never seen me before but he knew who I was from the moment our eyes met again.”

Her breathing is even when she says, “I decided to give your father a child some time after that. I am his wife in nothing but name, A-Zhan. It troubled me that this man who claimed to love me but I did not love in return would endure so much trouble and pain for my sake. I felt guilty, so I disrupted his seclusion in the middle of the night and made my intentions clear. He was unwilling at first but eventually agreed.”

Lan Zhan almost smiles when his Head’s nose wrinkles, a tiny scowl marring her tear swollen face. Her tears have stopped for the moment, but Lan Zhan is certain they may return soon enough when Mother says that his sire still smelled all wrong to her. She did not love him, no matter how much he loved her but there was something there within him that reminded her of the earth and rivers she had been kept from for so long.

She left before his sire woke up the next morning and later felt the urge to shift for the first time since Brother’s conception that very same night. She was hesitant at first, unsure of what could have been making her feel that way. Eventually, she gave in sometime after the curfew bells rang, still uncertain about what exactly was compelling her to do so.

“And what do you know?” Mother laughs then, the sound tired and small but still there. “An egg was trying to pop out of me! I was laying your egg, A-Zhan.”

Later she learned that his sire and Uncle had a small portion of dragon blood in them that could be traced all the way back to Lan An, Gusu Lan’s founder. For the first time in years, however, Mother was in her first form, making a nest for her egg after curfew.

Mother smiles then, something soft and loving in the curve of her lips. Lan Zhan cannot help but smile in return, reaching up to wipe his Head’s tears. She tilts her head down in his direction, golden eyes glowing with the warmth of her unabashed affection.

“Oh, you were so tiny in the beginning, A-Zhan. Your shell was so fragile that I worried myself sick those first few months thinking you would not make it, but here you are,” Mother says, cupping Lan Zhan’s face in between her palms as if she almost cannot believe it herself. “Here you are, my little dragon. My Claw and other Treasure.”

Soon though, her smile and the warmth in her eyes begin to wither. "I would have liked to tell you this when you were older. You are still much too young and I know this information will only burden and harm you in the long run, but I do not know how much time I have left and you deserve to know so you can keep our weyr safe. After I am gone, you will be Head, A-Zhan. You must keep your brother safe when I no longer can.”

She speaks up again before Lan Zhan can, looking straight into his eyes when she says, “I wish that I could have brought you into this world under better circumstances, that I could have brought your brother into this world the same way I did you. But I do not regret it. I do not regret having you two and loving you both as much as I do, A-Zhan. You and your brother are not only my Treasures but two halves of my Heart as well. Do you understand?"

Lan Zhan feels his breath catch. Does he understand? Yes, of course, he does. How could he not when being a Head’s Heart is so much more valuable than being their Treasure? Being Treasure means being well-protected, well-loved, and well-nurtured. Being a Head’s Heart means being a part of his Head’s very being. It means being loved down to the bare bones of his core with no exceptions.

It means being half the reason Mother’s heart could physically break.

Before he can talk himself out of it, Lan Zhan shifts into his first form and wraps himself around his Head. He purrs when she follows suit not too long afterward and they scent each other. Despite the new knowledge spinning in his head, Lan Zhan is happy to be here. Happy to be alive with the Head of his weyr, with the mother who loves him and his brother enough to do whatever she can for them.

Still, there is also the sadness and anger in him that he cannot shake. That clings to every breath he takes and lies in the shadows of his thoughts. He feels loved and guilty all at the same time and he isn’t quite sure how this can be.

What Lan Zhan does know without a doubt is that he is a Claw, Treasure, and half of a Heart. Brother is Treasure, the other half of their mother’s Heart, and from now on, Lan Zhan will protect him from this truth for as long as he can.

This would destroy his gentle brother and Lan Zhan is not about to let that happen.

Lan Zhan takes to the sky five years after his birth.

He has no wings, but it does not stop him from gliding in the air, skirting through the clouds he was born for. Sunshine kisses his scales as the wind blows through his mane, whiskers twitching as he loops around the mountain again.

It is peaceful up here in the sky with only the warm sun and biting wind to keep him company.

Down below, the Lan Sect members are bright dots clustered all over Cloud Recesses. The bravest of them wave their arms at him, but most turn tail to disappear indoors once they catch sight of him. Lan Zhan ignores them, eyes latching onto two bright dots standing near where he is certain he left his robes before shifting forms.

The thought has barely crossed his mind before his body angles downward and the air shifts until it is pressing him down gently. His claws skim the treetops briefly when he dips down low to land in the cold springs.

Despite their name, Lan Zhan has never quite felt the cold bite of these waters like his fellow sect members have. He lands gracefully on his first try in one of the larger pools with only a small splash and many ripples signaling his landing. Lan Zhan moves forward, using his legs to propel him to one of the shallower pools of water. Once there, he shifts into his second form and accepts the robes Brother hands him.

“How was it, A-Zhan?” Brother asks, the longing in his voice unmistakable.

Lan Zhan only pauses for a moment as he finishes getting his inner robes on before saying, “I will take you soon, Brother.”

Brother smiles, holding the first layer of his outer robes up. “Not until you’ve had more practice. It would be unfortunate if you were to tire yourself out halfway through our intended flight.”

“Mn,” Lan Zhan acquiesces.

“Wangji,” Uncle cuts in then, drawing both his nephew’s attention as Lan Zhan finishes getting dressed. “How are you feeling?”

Lan Zhan mentally takes stock of his energy levels and the soreness located in his lower back. “Tired, but well, Uncle.”

Uncle frowns and beckons him forward. “Let me check. You have only just recovered and I know your arm has continued to bother you.”

Lan Zhan goes willingly. Uncle is strict and appears to be fussy all the time, but Lan Zhan is aware that is how Uncle shows affection. Of course, Uncle is not perfect but his faults are not enough to make Lan Zhan or his brother love him any less.

Uncle presses two fingers to Lan Zhan’s wrist, his other hand gripping Lan Zhan’s shoulder firmly to keep him in place. Lan Zhan leans into Uncle’s touch readily, head tipped back to study the look of concentration on his face.

It is unsurprising that Uncle is worried. After all, it was only a month before when the training accident took place.

(Lan Zhan is of the mind that it was not much of an accident at all actually, but the Clan Elders would hear nothing of it.)

Brother had been sparring with two older disciples in the sword training area while Lan Zhan spotted. Lan Zhan had not been worried at the time, Brother is very skilled in the six arts of cultivation but especially in swordsmanship. Sparring against older disciples is a habit of his brother’s, one that he indulged frequently. It was also somewhat of an unspoken rule in Cloud Recesses that if Lan Xichen draws his sword, then Lan Wangji will be found nearby ready to intervene at a moment’s notice.

Lan Zhan takes his position as a Claw very seriously. Brother knows this and huffs a bit when Lan Zhan stations himself nearby during sword practice but says nothing to discourage him from it. In a weyr, Treasures need to be protected at all times, no matter the cost, so it was not unusual for Lan Zhan to be present at that time.

Brother had been doing well against his mock-opponents. Too well if the frustrated looks on the older disciples’ faces were anything to go off of. Of course, Lan Zhan was also privy to the anger slowly building up in one of the older disciple’s scents.

As soon as he had caught a whiff of it, Lan Zhan’s hair felt like it stood on end. Something ancient struggled to spring to life in his chest, his senses focusing only on the spar in front of him. He had exhaled heavily, hoping to calm himself but left himself shocked instead as his breath turned to mist in front of him. Lan Zhan was unsure how that had come to happen but before he could think about it too much, the flash of a sword glare stole his attention.

From one moment to the next, Lan Zhan was standing in front of Brother, his unsheathed practice sword held out in front of him and his body caught between his two forms. His scales were all too clear around his neck and jaw, but none were found where the older disciple’s sword had just sliced through his arm. Lan Zhan had barely glanced at the blood seeping through his robes before he made a rumbling sound that lodged itself in the back of his throat and the disciples dropped their swords, scuttling backward in fear.

Even in his second form, Lan Zhan’s skin is tough and sturdy enough to not sustain most of the usual injuries normal children his age would receive. Brother, too, has this kind of protection and Lan Zhan is more than aware of that. It does not mean that they are invulnerable, but it does mean they are less likely to break when compared to others.

It still did not stop Lan Zhan from taking the blow that was meant for one of his Treasures.

If either of them were normal, that sword would have cut Lan Zhan deep enough to render his arm useless. If he had not stepped in, that sword would have run Brother clean through.

But Lan Zhan had. He had moved as quickly as the wind and put himself between his brother and the oncoming danger. He had stood there silently, uncaring of the blood dripping down onto his hand and staining his robes. He was in-between forms, but he had made no threatening moves in these boys’ direction, had not even unsheathed his practice sword. One of these boys had tried to draw his Treasure’s blood right in front of Lan Zhan’s very own eyes and he still did not lose control.

If Mother had been there, had witnessed one half of her Heart being attacked, there is no telling what would have happened. Lan Zhan, of course, still isn’t very sure he would not hurt those boys if he caught sight of them anywhere near Brother or Uncle again. There is a likely chance Mother would kill them if they approached Brother, but there is no chance that she would do so if they came near Uncle. Uncle is one of Lan Zhan’s Treasures, after all, not Mother’s.

(Brother told him that she, of course, approved of Lan Zhan’s actions and Lan Zhan’s claim to Uncle as Treasure, but her anger about the “accident” was not light.)

At that moment, however, Lan Zhan only pulled his arms back to his sides when Uncle arrived and placed a hand over his brother’s own on Lan Zhan’s shoulder. Before that, Lan Zhan had been contemplating whether it was worth it to break so many of the rules and hurt these disciples no matter what punishment awaited him.

Violence is not something Lan Zhan has ever taken joy in. He knows his instincts are capable of drawing bloodlust out of him and he also knows that his strength would be enough to harm anyone he wanted without trying. If he was that careless, however, he would be losing face for both his family and his sect alike. Mother and Uncle have not raised him to give in to his instincts so easily at the first sign of a threat targeting his brother. His self-restraint and control are stronger than that.

So Lan Zhan had exhaled and calmed himself as he allowed Brother to escort him to the healer’s hall while Uncle berated the older disciples for their recklessness. Uncle had gotten their side of the story, nose wrinkling when they claimed it was an accident and Lan Zhan was merely overreacting. Lan Zhan had heard all of that and had almost spoken aloud to mention the rule prohibiting dishonesty that they were breaking, but Brother had gripped onto his shoulder that much harder and practically dragged him away before more blood could possibly be shed.

Lan Zhan’s arm was cleaned and bandaged minutes after they arrived in the healer’s hall. The cut was shallow enough that it would be healed by the next day. Brother had still winced when Lan Zhan’s robes were peeled away to expose the wound though.

By the time the healers had proclaimed him healthy enough to leave, Uncle had come through the door in a flurry of robes and angry fussing. Lan Zhan had sat there with Brother as they explained what had happened and if Lan Zhan had felt something cold get stuck in his throat as he spoke, then that was neither here nor there.

Uncle had taken the issue to the Clan Elders and they had, unsurprisingly, sided with the older disciples instead of the Sect Heir. Lan Zhan felt sick just thinking of how far the Clan Elders were willing to go to punish their secluded Sect Leader’s wife, no matter if it affected their own Sect Heir and future or not.

The older disciples are now in seclusion for the time being. Both as punishment and protection.

Lan Zhan was not punished severely for his behavior, but he was still assigned to copy the rules ten times after his injury had healed. He had quietly and gracefully accepted his punishment, making sure each brushstroke was careful and precise before he submitted his copies of the rules to Uncle when he was done. He was also barred from seeing Mother and when Brother left to see her for their next monthly visit, Lan Zhan played all of Mother’s personal favorites on the guqin.

Sometimes when Lan Zhan found himself passing a Clan Elder in the halls, he would clench his hands into fists at his side until his fingernails had left crescent marks on his palms. He would also unknowingly grit his teeth as he thought of how close someone had gotten to harming one of his Treasures. Uncle had caught him doing so only one time and now believed that he was experiencing phantom pains in his arm when really, Lan Zhan was remembering the cold, hard fury that had rushed through him at that moment.

“Uncle, I am well,” Lan Zhan says as Uncle finally releases his hold on him and steps back.

Uncle’s mustache bristles with the force of his frown but nods. “There is no harm in making sure, Wangji.”

Brother chuckles beside them and Lan Zhan feels his lips twitch at the sound before his expression clears again.

Out here in the cold springs where only a select number of people would run into them, Lan Zhan is still careful to not allow his emotions to show. Not when their peaceful bubble could be disrupted by anyone in this very public space.

Even if Lan Zhan is not open with the full force of his emotions, this is good too.

When he is six, Lan Zhan lies coiled before the door bordered by gentians and waits.

And waits.

And waits even more.

He lies there with tears in his eyes, his lungs squeezing as grief chokes him. He will not move until the curfew bells ring when he must slither back to the room he no longer shares with Brother. Brother has not been able to build the courage to visit the Jingshi, but even if he can no longer see his Head, Lan Zhan refuses to leave.

That morning, he had woken up thinking today and had been so overcome with tears that a strong gust of wind blew open the door to his quarters. Lan Zhan had been quick to fight down the urge to fly into the sky and never return. Even if he no longer has a Head to depend on, he still has a weyr of his own depending on him now.

But the Head of his weyr is dead. Has been dead long enough for Lan Zhan to not bear thinking about it.

Lan Zhan is too young to become the Head of a weyr, especially the one he has just inherited. He wants Mother back, wants her to open the door, and let him back inside. Wants her to kiss his forehead ribbon and tell him more about Grandfather. Wants his Head to tease him until she has managed to coax a barely-there smile out of him. Wants Mother to cup his face as her golden eyes glow with the depths of her love, but now he will never be graced with the sight of her smile or the sound of her laughter ever again.

Mother’s scent still lingers here and there around the Jingshi, her scent the most saturated in certain points. When the wind blows, he can almost convince himself that the small gurgling stream nearby sounds like her laughter. The gentians she adored continue to bud even as the weather grows cold and Lan Zhan wonders for a moment if they will always be what surrounds his mother’s tomb.

He focuses on the remnants of her smell and waits. He will wait as long as he needs to, so long as Lan Zhan can cling to his last memories of her.

Mother dies and a piece of Lan Zhan dies with her.

He remains in his first form for a full month after her passing. In his second form, it is too difficult to catch the echoes of her presence at the Jingshi. In his first, he can still smell her, can hear her in the gurgling streams, and can feel her where his heart should be.

Brother does not speak much to him that month. Instead, he sits beside Lan Zhan in what was once their room and practices his music cultivation when the quiet becomes too much. He moved into a room of his own not too long before Mother left them, old enough at nine for the Clan Elders to approve the arrangement. Brother had been excused from his usual lessons after Mother’s death but had shown up for morning meditation early the following week, his signature smile fixed in place only dimmer than usual.

Sometimes Lan Zhan feels sick looking at the forced, gentle happiness his brother is displaying for the world to see. Other times, Lan Zhan is happy that Brother drops his mask when they are alone.

Lan Zhan ignores the meals Brother brings along with him. He can go a long while without eating in this form, does not even need to drink water as often as is required in his second form as well. He is aware that Brother and Uncle are worried, but he remains in his room and breathes every painful breath knowing that Mother is gone.

Excessive grief is against the rules, Lan Zhan knows, but he is not breaking the rules by doing this. To him, this is not excessive. This is justified.

How can it be considered excessive when he is six-years-old and just lost the mother who he had been forcibly kept from for most of his short life?

Mother had given up both her freedom and life just to make sure Brother would remain safe. Mother had gone to Lan Zhan’s father and made him within a night, had put together a nest, and taught him all he needed to know to also remain safe.

She had known what would happen when she agreed to marry the leader of the Lan Sect. She would be kept from the earth and rivers that were her lifeline and would die so her Heart would remain safe.

How is Lan Zhan’s behavior excessive? Her punishment was not considered excessive. Her treatment was not considered excessive.

No one has the right to claim his grief as excessive.

For once, Lan Zhan is glad of the distance that separates him from others in the sect. He revels in the fact that many members of the sect are terrified of him. It makes leaving him alone that first month easy.

After all, no one wants to risk the wrath of a grieving dragon.

Many of his fellow sect members believe it to be a fact that Lan Zhan’s instincts could take control of him and force him to harm them if they happened to reprimand him during this time. They remember that sunny afternoon in the sword training area when Lan Zhan took a blade for his older brother and had shown his scales to the two older disciples who had “accidentally” aimed too close for comfort during a practice spar. They are convinced that they know what Lan Zhan is capable of, especially in his first form.

Lan Zhan, of course, knows this to be false. He has spent years tempering his self-control, reigning in most of his urges, and perfecting his ever-present blank facial expression. These people do not know him and Lan Zhan is glad because of that.

By the end of that month, however, Brother leads him to Mother’s abandoned house. It is close to curfew, the sun already having fallen for the moon to take its place. Lan Zhan is uncertain of where Brother is taking them at first until he realizes they are following an all too familiar path Lan Zhan would be able to follow blindfolded if need be.

He walks in the halls but as soon as they have stepped onto the dirt path leading further up the mountain, Lan Zhan allows the wind to carry him where they are going. Brother keeps a hand on his head to keep him steady by his side, silent as they trek towards the one place Lan Zhan was certain Brother would never visit again.

As they come around the last bend in the path, they find a man standing in front of the Jingshi. Lan Zhan believes it to be Uncle until he catches a whiff of the man and realizes that it smells all wrong.

It is Qingheng-Jun.

Lan Zhan does not want to be here anymore. He wants to leave and return when this man is no longer standing in front of the place he imprisoned the Head of Lan Zhan’s weyr. The Jingshi was always going to be Mother’s tomb and he had to have known that when he secluded her here.

Brother feels him tense under his hand, but he only grabs onto one of Lan Zhan’s antlers and nudges him forward. Lan Zhan goes, unwillingly, but he still goes anyway.

“Father,” Brother calls out after they have come to a stop a few paces in front of the Lan Sect Leader.

When Qingheng-Jun turns to face them, two things happen. One, Brother bows. Two, Lan Zhan gets a clearer sense of his sire’s scent and growls in response.

Qingheng-Jun reeks of blood. Every inhale that brings his scent to Lan Zhan makes his stomach roll and his mind rear back. Lan Zhan wants nothing more than to pick Brother up and retreat, to curl away from the darker instincts that are begging him to get rid of the source of this smell. Instead, he bares his teeth and holds still, waiting.

He is aware that Brother freezes beside him, still caught in a low bow. Qingheng-Jun only blinks at him before he smiles and a low chuckle escapes him.

“That was your mother’s exact reaction the first time she met me,” Qingheng-Jun manages to say after he has cleared his throat and before he turns to Brother and places a hand over Brother’s clasped ones. “Ah, and no need to be so formal, Xichen.”

Brother straightens from his bow woodenly, eyes on Lan Zhan when he responds. “Father, I brought A-Zhan as requested.”

Lan Zhan’s gaze snaps to his older brother, betrayal the only thing on his mind. Brother winces and shrugs subtly, a tight smile on his face as he meets Lan Zhan’s eyes.

“Thank you, Xichen. I must speak with you both. Wangji,” Qingheng-Jun says, staring pointedly at Lan Zhan’s form. “Will you be joining the conversation?”

He stares pointedly back, waiting to see what Qingheng-Jun will say or do once he realizes that Lan Zhan does not, in fact, plan to join the conversation. If his Sect Leader orders it, then yes, he will shift into his second form. Nudity notwithstanding, Lan Zhan will not disobey a direct order from the official Lan Sect Leader even if he is Sect Leader in name only.

(Although, Lan Zhan isn’t technically bothered by the nudity aspect either. He can smell his robes hidden in the qiankun pouch Brother is keeping up his sleeve. Brother knew what Lan Zhan would decide before he even brought him here, yet he is prepared for any outcome nonetheless.)

But if his sire is asking, then Lan Zhan will remain as he is. He knows filial duty is another rule he is meant to follow, but after breaking one, what is another? He does not want whatever this man is attempting to offer now that it is too late. Maybe if this man had ever visited him, had ever cared for him. Maybe if this man had never left the responsibilities of a father and Sect Leader on Uncle’s shoulders, had ever checked in with them once to see how they fared. Maybe if he had ever left his seclusion while Mother was alive, Lan Zhan would have given him a chance, but the Head of his weyr is dead and Qingheng-Jun has never been a part of their weyr and he will never be who Lan Zhan calls father.

When Lan Zhan was much younger, he struggled with these feelings. When Mother told him about how her marriage came to be, Lan Zhan realized he did not consider Qingheng-Jun as a part of his family. Yes, his mother’s imprisonment may have spared her life when the Lan Sect Leader first decreed it, but it only delayed the inevitable in the end. Lan Zhan can appreciate that he was given life half in due part to Qingheng-Jun, but a person does not become a parent simply for making a child. Caring for a child and nurturing their mind is what makes someone a parent.

That is why, so long as Uncle lives and breathes, Lan Zhan will never consider another man as his father.

Qingheng-Jun must realize this because he sighs and continues as if Lan Zhan’s stubbornness is of little to no surprise. Lan Zhan allows himself a brief second to feel smug about this before his attention returns to the conversation at hand.

“Father, why did you decide to come out of seclusion now?” Brother asks, his voice sounding no different than usual except for the slight tremor of uncertainty Lan Zhan knows Qingheng-Jun is not picking up.

“You misunderstand. I have merely taken a brief break from seclusion to see you both. I will be returning after this,” Qingheng-Jun explains. “I wanted to speak to you two about your mother.”

Lan Zhan rumbles out a displeased sound, unsure of what to classify it as. Brother stiffens beside him again, his smile strained. Their Sect Leader smiles once more, his scent smelling something like nervousness as he hesitates.

“What about our Head?” Brother rasps.

Before Lan Zhan can think better of it, he is pushing his antler more firmly into Brother’s hand. His goal is to distract him, to get rid of the pain and sadness in his scent that he rarely ever allows to show clearly on his face. Maybe Lan Zhan never smiles or expresses much of anything with his own face, but Brother’s ever-present smile is a mask all on its own as well.

Qingheng-Jun raises a brow in question. “Your head?”

A low growl escapes Lan Zhan once he registers the way Qingheng-Jun mispronounces their mother’s title. The syllables sound distorted coming from his mouth, the weight of them all wrong in the air between them.

“Head,” Brother corrects him, a wrinkle between his brows. At least Lan Zhan was not the only one who disliked his words. “Mother was the Head of our weyr. Now… A-Zhan is the Head.”

“Do you use their terms because you also feel those urges?” Qingheng-Jun asks then, his silver eyes glinting for a moment as he tilts his head to the side.

Lan Zhan does not like the edges their Sect Leader’s question is trying to hide. They feel too sharp, too loaded with an assumption he finds himself bristling at. Brother runs a hand down his snout, wordlessly asking him to calm down. Lan Zhan listens. His Treasure is asking something of him and Lan Zhan answers, pushing down the indignation he can feel building up from the tips of his claws. His emotions are easier to read in his first form since he has more practice concealing them in his second. He needs to improve on that soon.

Brother’s smile is tight again, his silver eyes heavily guarded. “I use these terms because I am a part of this weyr, Father. I was Mother’s Treasure. A-Zhan was our Claw. Now he is our Head and I am still Treasure. Uncle, too, is another Treasure.”

You are not a part of our weyr, is what goes unspoken.

Lan Zhan could cry from the happiness springing to life in his chest. He had always known that they shared some of the same instincts, but to hear Brother explain this so simply and succinctly to an outsider ⎼ because that is what Qingheng-Jun is. That is what he will always be while Lan Zhan is Head ⎼ soothes him down to his core.

No matter what, Brother is on his side. Even if he tricked him into meeting their Sect Leader out here after curfew, Brother is still on Lan Zhan’s side.

“I apologize,” Qingheng-Jun says when the echoes of Brother’s words have faded in the darkness around them. “I did not mean to offend either of you or the memory of your mother. I loved her, after all.”

It takes Lan Zhan a moment to realize he is not the one who growled in response to Father’s apology.

Brother’s teeth are bared, his silver eyes flashing in the moonlight. Rage, hurt, and sadness rolls off Brother’s skin in waves, but Lan Zhan does nothing to stop him. Brother has never been able to shift between forms but here under the light of the full moon with his Sect Leader and the Head of his weyr as the only witnesses, Lan Zhan thinks Brother may be able to reach the in-between point of his forms one day.

“How can you still claim that?” Brother manages to say, his voice unsteady, but Lan Zhan is more than able to hear what Brother is not saying, You secluded her here knowing she would die. You removed yourself from our lives entirely just so you would not have to see her wither slowly away and still claim that you loved her?

In the recesses of his mind, Lan Zhan is shocked that Brother would ever say anything meant to be contrary against their Sect Leader. He has always thought of his brother as more forgiving than him. When Qingheng-Jun has been mentioned in the past, Brother would visibly perk up with interest, soaking up any information he could about their absent Sect Leader. Lan Zhan was careful to remain indifferent. After all, why should news of a man he has never met matter to him?

Now though, with his brother truly angry and close to confronting their Sect Leader, all Lan Zhan feels is pride.

“Xichen, do you know why your mother was in seclusion?” Qingheng-Jun asks, his voice so terribly light that Lan Zhan feels the vicious urge to bite him.

Brother shakes his head, now trembling with the force of his anger. Lan Zhan nudges his snout into his side, scenting him in the hopes that it will help him settle. Qingheng-Jun only sighs, folding his arm behind his back as he begins to speak.

He tells Brother everything. Everything Mother had glossed over and implied to Lan Zhan a year ago is laid down at his and his brother’s feet.

Lan Zhan knows the moment Brother has come to the same conclusion Lan Zhan did about their different parentage when he abruptly pulls away from Lan Zhan’s touch. His hands curl into fists at his sides, his trembling now doubled.

The pain and horror in his brother’s scent punch the very air out of Lan Zhan’s lungs. Saltwater joins the mix of smells hanging in the air soon enough and Lan Zhan aches with the need to comfort his Treasure.

Qingheng-Jun finishes shortly after that, staring at them both as he waits. What for? Lan Zhan has no idea but he must realize he will not receive whatever it is because soon enough Qingheng-Jun is stepping away with a pained look in his eyes.

“This old one apologizes, but you both deserve to know,” their Sect Leader says before he nods in Lan Zhan’s direction and turns to disappear further up the dirt path.

Lan Zhan watches him leave, eyes on his back as the darkness swallows him whole. Brother’s shaking begins to subside as Qingheng-Jun goes, his body loosening of its own accord slowly.

Brother falls to his knees once Qingheng-Jun is no longer in sight. Lan Zhan finds himself shifting into his second form to kneel beside him without thinking. Even if it is unseemly to kneel when naked, Brother is in pain and it is Lan Zhan’s job to protect him. He was never supposed to learn about this, not this way.

It does nothing to change the fact that his brother is hurt now.

“You knew,” Brother chokes out. “You knew.”

Lan Zhan nods, opening his mouth to speak before Brother rushes to speak first. “Why did you let me believe that lie, Wangji?”

The use of his courtesy name is what finally cuts Lan Zhan. Brother has been calling him A-Zhan since he hatched and has never cared for whose company they may be in when using the endearment. Lan Zhan was a Claw and Brother a Treasure, but that did nothing to change the fact that Lan Zhan is his little brother.

“You are my brother,” Lan Zhan says without hesitation. His voice is raspy and hoarse from disuse, but his words are sure and steady. “You are my brother.”

“Half,” Brother murmurs, “Half-brother.”

Lan Zhan shakes his head furiously, reaching out to grab Brother’s shoulders. Relief floods through him when Brother does not pull immediately away.

Mother’s words go through his head at that moment and for lack of a better thing to say, Lan Zhan echoes them, “You are not my half anything. We are both our mother’s sons.”

Brother leans into his touch then, tears still streaming down his face. “That is not how the rest of the world will see it.”

“I am not the world,” Lan Zhan responds. “You are my brother.”

“You’re going to be stubborn about this, aren’t you?” Brother asks after the silence between them has become too much.

Lan Zhan nods.

Brother stares at him for a moment, his tears crystalline under the moon as they cling to his lashes. Eventually, he reaches into his sleeve and pulls out his qiankun pouch. Lan Zhan stands and allows Brother to dress him, twisting and turning where he needs to so his robes lie against his skin perfectly. Brother fixes his hair and guides Lan Zhan’s hands through tying his ribbon.

He is not Lan Zhan’s parent, spouse, or child but he is Lan Zhan’s brother. They are not allowed to touch each other’s forehead ribbons, but they can put their hands over the other’s and move them where they need to go so their ribbons lie straight. It is a system they developed soon after Lan Zhan was taken from Mother and the fact that Brother is still willing to treat him the same as he did before means more than words could ever say.

“When did Mother tell you?” Brother asks, eyes elsewhere as Lan Zhan brushes his robes down.

“Last year,” Lan Zhan says, glancing up when Brother inhales sharply at his response.

Brother grips his shoulders and meets his gaze, tears springing to his silver eyes once more. “She should not have done so, Wangji. We are children who should not know of this until we are older. You especially should not have been told this before I was.”

Lan Zhan blinks in confusion, not understanding. “Mother did not tell me everything, but I knew we did not have the same fathers. Besides, I was a Claw and now I am the Head. I am supposed to protect you.”

Brother shakes his head and pulls him into a hug, clinging to him with all his strength as tears overcome him again. Lan Zhan holds on, hands no doubt wrinkling Brother’s robes but uncaring of that as his Treasure’s scent sours with sadness again. It is clear that Brother is willing to work his way back to how they used to be, but this revelation is too new and unsettling for either of them to act as they normally would.

Even though Lan Zhan is certain that they will get through this, Brother stops calling him A-Zhan for some time after that.

Now that Lan Zhan is back in his second form, the Clan Elders decide to keep him under close observation.

When Lan Zhan first returns to his regular classes, he is surprised to note the seven Clan Elders standing in the back of the classroom. As far as he had been aware, the Clan Elders were much too busy to bother with the education of the junior disciples. In fact, Lan Zhan would go as far as saying the Clan Elders do not care about any of the disciples unless they have broken an important rule or disgraced the Gusu Lan Sect in a very public manner.

So to see them sitting in on his classes immediately puts Lan Zhan on edge. He can barely pay proper attention to the lesson one of Uncle’s favorite assistants is lecturing them about, not when he can feel more than just the Clan Elders’ eyes on him.

For once, Lan Zhan finds himself despising his usual seat in the front of the classroom.

It takes Lan Zhan longer than usual to realize he has been called on and he feels his ears grow hot as he both dully recites the proper answer and tries his best to ignore one of the Elders huffing loudly in displeasure. None of the other junior disciples make a sound but Lan Zhan can smell the amusement in their scents well enough to feel embarrassed.

He maintains his perfectly proper posture anyway and forces himself to pay better attention to the lecture. During the noon meal hour, he will find Brother and confer with him about this. See if the Clan Elders have been dropping in other classes as well or if this is targeted at Lan Zhan alone. A way for them to say that they have noticed his recent behavior and now that it is safer for them to confront him, they will if need be.

Lan Zhan is nothing more than a child, but he has always known the Clan Elders are cowards. Only cowards would demonize a woman killing the man who violated her. Only cowards would give that woman a death sentence of her own, claiming it to be the just thing to do when it is anything but. Only cowards would confront a six-year-old child when they believe they have the advantage.

Perhaps they do have the power and the right to put him down but Lan Zhan is not his mother. Mother made certain that Lan Zhan would have many more advantages than she ever did, advantages he and Brother would both have even after she was no longer in this world.

The Clan Elders may have imprisoned her, but they did not strip Mother of all the political power she gained by marrying their Sect Leader and providing him with two Sect Heirs. They would need a powerful and unshakeable reason to strike one of their own Sect Heirs down, a reason the entire cultivation world would not fault them for.

At least, that is how Brother explains it to him later as they are leaving the central mess hall to attend their afternoon classes.

"Do not give them a reason, Wangji," Brother admonishes him when they come to a stop before they go their separate ways for class. "Embody the perfect disciple they desire so much. Get them to grudgingly accept your position here by whatever means necessary. They will never be fair when it comes to you or me, but that does not mean we have to make it easy for them either."

"Mn," Lan Zhan nods, bowing to his brother before he turns on his heel and leaves.

At the sword training area, four Clan Elders stand on the sidelines, safely out of any unpredictable young child's sword swing. Lan Zhan barely spares them a glance as he gets into position and waits patiently for class to begin.

For the better part of a month, Lan Zhan's classes are shadowed by a handful of Clan Elders. None of them speak a word to anyone present, but they make their disapproval known through loud sighs and disparaging grunts.

Lan Zhan learns their scents well and avoids them in the hallways whenever he happens to come across their trails. The few times he catches their scents too late, he shoulders their thinly-veiled complaints on the "ghastly sight" of his scales and the "childish behavior" he is much too old for now.

None of them will ever say it outright but Lan Zhan knows they wish to punish him for his so-called excessive grief which is why they are now hovering over his shoulder, watching his every move in the hopes that he will crack under pressure. Lan Zhan is made of sterner stuff than that though.

He is a dragon. He was born for the sky and clouds that blanket their mountain. Water and wind do his bidding alike. His Treasures accept him as the Head of their weyr without complaints.

He is his mother's son and his grandfather's grandson, Lan Zhan will not break under the weight of the Clan Elders' scrutiny.

This becomes more than clear the longer Lan Zhan is kept under their watchful eyes. He takes Brother's advice to heart and becomes even more of the perfect disciple he had always strived to be, first for his Mother's state of mind and now because he refuses to allow his feelings to be used against him.

Dragons and the Lan are alike in the way that they show their true feelings through everything except their words. Lan Zhan is both, so whether big or small, his actions are twice as potent. His emotion-fueled behavior will not be what takes him from his Treasures.

Brother lost one Head already, Lan Zhan refuses to let him lose two.

(Two weeks later, Lan Zhan wakes thinking today before he remembers. He spends the remainder of the day with a fierce ache burning through him as he kneels in front of a familiar door.)

Lan Zhan takes one glance at Nie Mingjue and thinks, Claw.

Nie Mingjue is a stranger to him in all rights. Brother has talked about him constantly when he began attending the guest discipline lectures, always with a softer version of his usual smile on his face. He tells Lan Zhan everything he learns about Nie Mingjue, never leaving any details out. Brother's scent tends to swell and ripen with the force of his fondness and admiration for the older boy but Lan Zhan says nothing.

Talking is not one of Lan Zhan's particular skills. Others may regard him as eloquent, but that is solely due to the fact that Lan Zhan only speaks up when he is certain of the words on the tip of his tongue.

So it is unsurprising that even though he says nothing about the thought that crosses his mind when he finally meets his brother's friend, Brother notices anyway.

Maybe it is because of how intensely Lan Zhan studies him when the older boy isn't looking. How he sniffs the air as he analyzes the way Brother and Nie Mingjue's scents are complementary to one another. Or perhaps how Lan Zhan not-so-subtly reaches out and grips Nie Mingjue's nape to scent him into the weyr.

Honestly, Lan Zhan has no idea how Brother figures it out so quickly but he accepts that Brother will always be one step ahead of him regardless and leaves it at that.

Nie Mingjue takes his strange behavior in stride, stiffening for only a moment when Lan Zhan first comes into direct skin-to-skin contact with him. Lan Zhan waits until the older boy has relaxed under his grip before reaching out and taking his left hand. Slowly, he pulls it towards his face and presses his cheek against Nie Mingjue's palm briefly then steps back and puts the appropriate amount of distance between them again.

Brother is smiling, amusement twinkling in his eyes as he steps forward and smooths a stray lock of Nie Mingjue's hair back into place behind his ear. "Wangji has decided that you are a part of our weyr now, Nie-gongzi. Welcome."

"I don't know anything about dragons, Lan-gongzi," Nie Mingjue admits, his face wrinkled with confusion. "I would not wish to offend you."

Lan Zhan squeezes Brother's elbow, silently urging him to talk in his place. If Nie Mingjue truly wants no part in their weyr, Lan Zhan will accept that without complaints. He will not hold the boy to something he can not personally be a part of.

But if the only problem here is a lack of knowledge, then Brother can be depended on to remedy that quite successfully.

(Lan Zhan personally wants Nie Mingjue to accept his role as a Claw in their weyr because he can already tell that there will never be another person better at protecting Brother than him.)

"I can teach you all you need to know and anything else you wish to learn about us," Brother assures Nie Mingjue.

Nie Mingjue raises both his brows in surprise. "Us?"

Brother's smile does not falter but Lan Zhan can tell without looking that it is dimmer than before from the tone of his voice alone. "I may only have access to this form I am currently in now, Nie-gongzi, but I am my mother's son just as much as my brother is. We share her blood and a few of the same urges she passed down. On top of that, Wangji considers me as one of his Treasures and he wants you to be our Claw."

"And what is a claw exactly?"

Lan Zhan and his brother wince in unison at the older boy's pronunciation. They both relax as Nie Mingjue chuckles at their reactions, his face softer and looking less severe than it has during this conversation so far.

"Claw," Brother corrects him, emphasizing where it is needed so Nie Mingjue can understand. "A Claw is a protector of the weyr. They keep Treasures safe, act as enforcers when our Head demands it of them. Wangji is the Head of our weyr and Grandmaster Lan is another Treasure."

Brother pauses there for a moment, turning his head to meet Lan Zhan's gaze. The corner of his mouth twitches, his right eyebrow slightly elevated as he tips his head ever so slightly to the side. Lan Zhan allows his stony expression to soften as he nods, humming his verbal agreement to leave Brother with no doubts about his decision. Brother's smile wobbles before it evens out again, blushing a very soft pink that Lan Zhan is certain no normal human would ever be able to notice.

"In other words," Brother turns to Nie Mingjue with a firmer grasp on his emotions. "My brother wants you to protect his Treasures."

Nie Mingjue blinks at them both, his scent spiking with embarrassment and pleasure all at once. Lan Zhan watches him closely, meeting his eye when the older boy's gaze lands on him. He knows this is very sudden and a lot to ask of someone he has only officially met today, but Nie Mingjue is Brother's closest friend and Lan Zhan's brother does not have very many friends.

What Lan Zhan knows of Nie Mingjue he has learned from Brother or through his reactions in this encounter alone. For normal human beings, this is not enough to entrust someone else with what they value above all else, but it is more than enough for Lan Zhan.

Besides, it is more than obvious that Brother intends to court Nie Mingjue in due time. Perhaps when they are both a few years older than they are now Brother will begin the courtship through subtle maneuvers before presenting Nie Mingjue with a jewel that is worth just as much as the bond between them. It is the ways of old, ways Mother never got the chance to experience herself, and ways Lan Zhan will make certain Brother experiences when he considers himself ready for them.

"Then it seems that I was already unofficially a Claw before your brother offered the position to me, Lan-gongzi," Nie Mingjue breaks the silence with, his pronunciation still off but better than before.

Brother lets out a startled laugh in response, his blush darkening further as he grows flustered. Lan Zhan feels his lips twitch with the urge to smile as admiration and amusement bubble up within him.

Nie Mingjue smiles then, his scent twisting until it is less surprised and more confident. "I would still appreciate being taught anything you wish to teach me before I accept. I would not wish to offend either of you after you have already trusted me with so much."

"Mn," Lan Zhan hums, stepping forward with his hand outstretched.

He finds himself smiling when Nie Mingjue ducks enough to press the crown of his head into Lan Zhan's palm. Not a smile like Brother or others generally wear on their faces, but a smile nonetheless.

Nie Mingjue is not a part of their weyr, but he will be soon.

While Nie Mingjue is in Cloud Recesses, Lan Zhan learns how to ride a sword.

He absolutely despises it.

Having to fly by way of his sword instead of controlling the winds in his first form frustrates him. His instincts do not agree in the least with having to step on a thin sheet of metal and using his golden core to keep him in the air.

Almost as if Bichen knows how Lan Zhan feels about flying on it, he often falls from his sword. Many of the junior disciples he regularly trains with have either already mastered flight by sword or are close to it.

Lan Zhan is the only nine-year-old who cannot remain stable on his sword. The Clan Elders do not let him forget it.

As soon as word had spread that the sole dragon of Cloud Recesses was struggling to fly on his sword, the Clan Elders descended on Lan Zhan quickly. They linger in the back of his lessons again, beady eyes glued to Lan Zhan.

Nie Mingjue finds him on an afternoon the disciples have been given free time to do as they please. Lan Zhan is once again attempting to ride his sword, his jaw tight as his teeth refuse to unclench. Brother is not with him, something that Lan Zhan finds strange as he registers his Claw’s scent approaching but does not acknowledge until Nie Mingjue is standing on the sidelines of the sword training area.

“My Head, what are you doing?” Nie Mingjue asks after they have bowed in greeting to one another.

Lan Zhan keeps his gaze on Bichen, embarrassed that his Claw will be witness to one of his weaknesses. It has not been long since Nie Mingjue accepted Lan Zhan’s offer of being a Claw. Less than a month has passed since then and now Nie Mingjue will learn of how childish Lan Zhan really is and will be ashamed of being in his weyr. He will want to leave their weyr because Heads are meant to be strong and in control, but Lan Zhan can’t remain on his own sword for more than an incense stick’s worth of time before falling off.

Among the other disciples and his teachers, Lan Zhan is labeled a prodigy. Many praise him for his ability to do anything that is taught to him. He masters techniques children his age are not introduced to until they participate in Uncle’s year-long lectures. His golden core is powerful and he has been able to fly without a sword’s assistance for almost four years now. Riding his sword should not be as difficult as it is making itself to be.

Nie Mingjue waits patiently for an answer, brows pulled together in confusion as Lan Zhan holds his unsheathed sword up. He sighs quietly, resigning himself to the shame he will undoubtedly feel in full effect after Nie Mingjue has left him alone again.

“Flying,” Lan Zhan supplies. “I keep falling.”

Understanding dawns across his Claw’s face, his expression clearing quickly. “I see. What seems to be the problem then?”

“I dislike it,” Lan Zhan says, studying Bichen intently as if he has never seen his own sword before then. “I despise it,” he clarifies when Nie Mingjue’s confusion returns.

“Because you can fly on your own without your sword, correct?” Nie Mingjue asks, head tilted to the side in thought.

Lan Zhan nods, still refusing to meet Nie Mingjue’s gaze lest his shame be too great.

Nie Mingjue’s laugh startles him into looking up, blinking furiously as their eyes meet. Lan Zhan can see and smell the amusement Nie Mingjue is sporting at the moment, but he can also make out the fondness in his Claw’s scent as well.

“Well, it seems the only way to fix this is to continue practicing,” Nie Mingjue states as he claps his hands together once then steps down into the sword training area. “I will catch you if you fall, but do not allow your frustration to be your downfall. I struggled with learning how to fly my saber as well.”

At fourteen, Nie Mingjue seems much too wise and intelligent for his age but considering what Lan Zhan is, he has no room to talk. Instead, he hums his agreement and clambers onto Bichen again and again. And again and again, Lan Zhan’s Claw catches him every time he falls off without fail.

They do not stop until Lan Zhan is able to ride his sword longer than two incense stick’s worth of time without falling while Nie Mingjue smiles at him from below.

That is how Brother finds them, pausing as he watches Nie Mingjue lead Lan Zhan through his wobbly landing.

As Lan Zhan’s feet plant themselves firmly on the ground once more, he happens to look up in time to catch a glimpse of one of Brother’s rarer smiles. The type of smile Brother only shares privately, the genuine one that Lan Zhan would not hesitate to go to war for.

His Brother’s happiness means more to him than life itself and as the Head in their weyr, there is nothing Lan Zhan would not do for his first Treasure.

“Wangji, Nie-gongzi,” Brother calls out to them.

Lan Zhan does not miss the flush that rises to Nie Mingjue’s nape as he turns to face Brother, stumbling into a hasty bow as he greets him. Brother’s smile turns softer at the sight, amusement and fondness glimmering within the depth of his silver eyes. Lan Zhan watches them interact for an incense stick’s worth of time before he speaks up to excuse himself.

He reaches out to them both to scent them as he passes by, something bright and airy filling his chest up to the brim as they scent him in return.

Lan Zhan cannot be the terrible Head he believes himself to be if his weyr is happy. They are all young, after all, and they all have the opportunity to grow.

They will be fine.

When Lan Zhan is eleven, Uncle gives permission for Brother to embark on his first night hunt.

Brother is almost fifteen and very strong, but Lan Zhan worries for his Treasure every moment that he is gone. Lan Zhan had petitioned Uncle so he could accompany his older brother. Uncle had only shot him down easily.

The Clan Elders would never have allowed it, after all, and Lan Zhan does not want them to keep him from his first Treasure.

It soothes him when he learns Nie Mingjue will also be on the night hunt. His Claw will protect his Treasure. Nie Mingjue would never allow harm to befall Brother. Lan Zhan can breathe easier knowing his weyr will remain safe, but he finds himself growing restless as the days drag along.

Lan Zhan studies and trains diligently, keeping to himself as much as he always has before. Uncle sits with him for dinner every night but during the day, Lan Zhan is alone. The disciples still keep their distance from him, still tend to watch him from the corner of their eyes when he is anywhere nearby. They duck under awnings or doorways when he takes to the sky and they give him a wide berth of space if their paths ever intercross in the halls.

On the fourth morning Lan Zhan wakes after his brother's departure, he makes a point of not running to Uncle's room once he realizes that Brother's scent on him is beginning to fade. He stops in front of Brother's door on the way there, inhaling his Treasure's scent deeply before moving on again. It is still early but not early enough for the halls to be devoid of others and Lan Zhan does not wish for whispers of his odd behavior to reach the Clan Elders' ears.

Uncle is still in the process of getting ready for the day when Lan Zhan knocks on his door, so Lan Zhan kneels by the entrance and waits patiently. His posture is as perfect as it always is and his expression appears calm but his heart is thudding painfully away in his chest with each moment that passes.

"Wangji," Uncle calls from behind his changing screen. "Would you like some tea?"

Lan Zhan finds himself nodding before he remembers that his uncle cannot see him. "Yes, Uncle."

Uncle makes a noncommittal sound and emerges from behind the screen soon after, looking as polished and pristine as he always does. Lan Zhan drinks in the tranquil image of his uncle, fists clenched over his knees as he continues to kneel.

Lan Zhan watches as Uncle sends for a tea set and goes about preparing their usual blend of tea leaves when a disciple sets down a tray on the only table in Uncle's sitting area. Uncle beckons him forward, motioning to the empty space across the table from him and Lan Zhan keeps his movements measured and serene as he sits.

When the tea is done and Lan Zhan has finished pouring it into their cups for them, Uncle reaches across the table and cups Lan Zhan's cheek gently. "Deep breaths, Wangji."

He follows his Treasure's reassuring words and exhales heavily, inhaling deeply after a moment's pause. Uncle's eyes remain on him as he gradually calms, Lan Zhan's face still cradled within his palm.

There is an ache Lan Zhan has not been able to fully ignore since Brother left, one that demands his Treasures to be near at all times. But under Uncle's steady gaze and his familiar scent surrounding him, Lan Zhan pushes that ache to the side and focuses on the here and now.

"Brother's scent," Lan Zhan murmurs before an incense stick's worth of time has passed, eyes kept closed as he leans into Uncle's touch.

Uncle hums with understanding and allows his fingertips to brush the area behind Lan Zhan's ear, ensuring that his own scent will linger on Lan Zhan's skin throughout the day. "You may enter Xichen's room to take something with his scent on it, but do not linger. It is impolite to enter someone's dwelling without their knowledge."

Lan Zhan moves his head in a motion that could be considered a nod.

"Xichen will return in two day's time, Wangji. Be patient," Uncle admonishes, gripping Lan Zhan's shoulder with his free hand before pulling away and motioning towards their untouched tea. "Let us enjoy our tea and share our breakfast before we depart for the day."

"Mn," Lan Zhan hums.

They drink their tea and eat their breakfast quietly. Lan Zhan remains calm for the rest of the morning but when he ducks into Brother's room and tucks a pair of his more favored robes into his qiankun pouch, the itchy feeling from before has returned. He has no time to reacquaint himself with Brother's scent before morning meditation begins and struggles to reach that zen state in between full awareness and unconsciousness Lan Zhan adopts for these sessions.

He skips the noon meal to return to his room and unceremoniously shove his face into Brother's stolen robe.

Brother's scent is a balm, easing him back into the serenity Uncle was able to draw out of him that morning. Lan Zhan refolds Brother's robe when the noon meal is almost done and settles it carefully on top of his bed then leaves. He manages to reach the central mess hall and quickly gulps down a bowl of rice before he’s off to his afternoon lectures.

Uncle scents him again at dinner and Lan Zhan sleeps easier that night.

Two days later, Brother returns just as Uncle said he would. They call him Zewu-Jun now and every member of the Lan Sect bows deeply before him as he passes. Brother has been raised since birth to fulfill his role as the Sect Heir, yet it is only now that Lan Zhan looks upon him and sees the bright future Gusu Lan has to look forward to.

Brother comes back with a title he feels he does not fully deserve and the cultivation world's eyes set on him. He looks tired with light purple shadows under his eyes that Lan Zhan mentally frowns at until they finally have a chance to be alone. Lan Zhan welcomes his Treasure back, returning the robe he took in exchange for Brother's natural scent now that he is by his side once more.

"When it is your turn to debut," Brother tells him later that night, a hand running through the ends of Lan Zhan's hair. "I will be by your side, A-Zhan."

Instantly, Lan Zhan feels his heart constrict in his chest and his eyes prick with the telltale sign of his tears. Brother has not called him “A-Zhan” for five years now. Five years too many if Lan Zhan were to ever be asked about it, but he has not so he kept his silence. Until now.

He turns and surges forward to wrap his arms around Brother's shoulders. He holds onto him tight, burying his face into his older brother's hair. Lan Zhan inhales deeply, uncaring of the tears now spilling down his cheeks as Brother's familiar smell of ink and wet stones surrounds him.

"A-Zhan," Brother sighs against the top of his head before he too is holding onto Lan Zhan with what feels like the majority of his strength. "A-Zhan."

"Mn," Lan Zhan hums in response and closes his eyes, feeling warm with the force of his brother's love and his own love for his brother.

When saltwater mixes into his brother's scent, Lan Zhan only holds onto him tighter and says nothing. Words are not his specialty and never will be. They do not come as easily to him as they do his brother, but that is fine.

Lan Zhan does not require the uncertainty of words for Brother to understand what this moment means to him.

Each year Lan Zhan spends without Mother is another year his love for Brother grows tenfold.

When he wakes up on a certain day every month thinking today, he kneels in front of the Jingshi door until Brother comes to collect him at nightfall.

Each time Lan Zhan sees Brother smile, he thanks his mother for bearing and loving them to the full extent that she was able to.

When Lan Zhan thinks of Mother, he remembers her with the pain of his grief lessening ever so slightly until it no longer festers like an untreated wound.

Some days, Lan Zhan does not think of her even once. Other days, all Lan Zhan wants is to be able to see his mother again. He no longer dreams of her, but he smiles to himself even as his heart twists when he plays her favorites on Wangji.

He has forgotten what her laughter sounds like, has forgotten how rich and full her scent was when it lied on his skin, but he will never forget that he was half of her Heart and she loved her Heart until her dying breath.

Lan Zhan is almost thirteen when he meets Nie Huaisang.

Earlier in the month, Lan Zhan was surprised when Uncle informed him he would be joining the party departing for this year’s Discussion Conference held in Qinghe Nie. He had not argued, had simply hummed to show that he was aware of Uncle’s order and packed accordingly.

The journey had not taken long, but Brother remained steadfast by his side. The usual easy smile he always wore when Nie Mingjue was involved was gone, his form rigid and stiff beside Lan Zhan.

A few months before, Nie Mingjue had become the Nie Sect Leader after his father died. Lan Zhan had been able to glean enough details to know the former Nie Sect Leader’s death was no accident. Lan Zhan was also quick to put the rest of the pieces together, now fully understanding why Uncle ordered him to come along.

Lan Zhan knows without a doubt that if it were up to Uncle, Lan Zhan would have been freed from the Gusu Lan Sect shortly after being born. Even though he did not care for Mother, Uncle would have found a way to get them both out if he could. The Clan Elders still regard Brother with subtle distaste, but Lan Zhan's existence remains to be a well of bitterness and greed for them. As much as they despise him, they are none too keen on removing him from the sect.

Now that the Wen Sect has proven they are unafraid to strike down a Sect Leader, the Clan Elders intend to use Lan Zhan’s presence at this Discussion Conference as a show of power. They want the Great Sects to look at the delegation from Gusu Lan and see the beast that is always lurking in the depths of Lan Zhan's being.

The death of Nie Mingjue’s father not only preys upon the Clan Elders’ desperation but upon Brother’s betrothal proposal to Nie Mingjue as well. When they were both nothing more than Sect Heirs, Nie Mingjue could have possibly married into the Lan Sect and have his younger brother take over in his stead. Now that Nie Mingjue is Sect Leader and Brother is close to taking the title himself, the chances of a marriage between them being approved by either of their sects are low.

That will not stop Lan Zhan from trying.

When they arrive in Qinghe, Nie Mingjue is there to welcome them. His eyes never leave Brother’s face and Lan Zhan grits his teeth when his Claw’s scent becomes riddled with the same longing and sadness that shadows Brother's every step.

Brother does not spare Nie Mingjue more than what is polite greetings and small talk as Uncle directs the flow of the short conversation, quickly leading their delegation to their rooms. Lan Zhan can smell the sadness surrounding Brother all too clearly and wants nothing more than to scent him as a distraction, but they are in public and it would not do well to draw attention to the Gusu Lan Sect before the official proceedings have begun.

Lan Zhan plays all of Brother’s favorites on Wangji, glancing up from time to time to take stock of Brother’s expression. He smiles at first, his attention focused on Lan Zhan’s playing, but he is overcome with sadness again by the second song.

Three songs later and Lan Zhan can no longer be so far from his first Treasure when Brother is like this.

“Brother,” Lan Zhan says, “If possible, I would take on your responsibilities.”

“The Clan Elders would kill you first before they allowed you to be Sect Leader, A-Zhan,” Brother replies, spikes of anger now curdling in both his expression and scent. Lan Zhan knows his older brother well enough to recognize the anger is being directed at the thought of any harm befalling him and not at Lan Zhan himself. “They would make it look like an accident so none of them would have to admit to breaking the rules and submit themselves for punishment, but we both know this to be true. I cannot give you a death sentence for my own selfish reasons.”

Lan Zhan cups his older brother’s cheek, the corners of his mouth twitching downward. “Love is not selfish.”

Brother mirrors him, his palm large and calloused from swordplay but still remaining one of the softest things Lan Zhan has ever felt. “A-Zhan, love itself is not selfish, you are correct. But tell me how could I ever live without you? How could I leave the sect and you for dead all for the sake of love that I feel for someone who is not of my blood?”

The frown on Lan Zhan’s face is small but clear enough to show his displeasure with Brother’s words. “He is a part of our weyr. He is your mate. I am willing to shoulder your responsibilities to the sect, Brother.”

“I am not,” is all Brother says before he refuses to speak any longer on the matter.

The next day Lan Zhan is determined to say something more, to add to the subject, and change his brother’s mind. He wakes at five and washes up quickly, dressing in the traditional five layers of robes every Lan is expected to wear. He had long since turned his nose up at any fabric that was not silk or lace a long time ago, greatly disliking the way other fabrics tend to irritate his skin.

Mother had smiled the first time he admitted his discomfort towards the robes Brother used to help him put on when he was younger. She shared the same sentiment, stating that she had allowed only the softest of blankets and fabrics in Lan Zhan's nest and on her person. Brother too usually wore clothes that were on the softer side, but the texture of the fabrics did not affect him as considerably as they affected Lan Zhan and their mother.

Lan Zhan stops his thoughts in their tracks there. It has been many years but Mother's death still hangs over him like a dark cloud, bringing both sorrow and metaphorical rain to him. He directs his attention towards getting ready for the day, ignoring the grief he can feel in the depths of his heart.

After dressing, Lan Zhan does his hair, fixes his forehead ribbon so it lies straight, and goes to find breakfast. The meal is not the same as the one he is used to in Cloud Recesses, but it is acceptable and filling nonetheless. After that, he trails behind Brother, intent on convincing him to ask for Nie Mingjue’s hand in marriage, yet Brother knows him all too well. He avoids speaking with Lan Zhan at every opportunity, keeping his gaze away from both him and Nie Mingjue. Uncle is Acting Sect Leader, but Brother is the Sect Heir, and where Uncle goes, Brother is not far behind him.

Lan Zhan is not old enough to participate in any of the competitions being held, but Brother always manages to place first or second in all of them. He watches the competitions by Uncle’s side, aware of the many eyes on him from Sect Leaders and regular everyday servants alike. He fights to show no reaction the first time he catches Wen Ruohan's scent, choking down the bitterness of it all. Uncle makes sure to always keep himself between Lan Zhan and the probing gaze of Wen Ruohan.

Every time the jewel on Wen Ruohan's forehead makes a sound, Lan Zhan grips his robes even tighter to restrain himself from standing up and walking away. Not only would it be rude, but it would make the Great Sects doubt how much control the Lan Sect has over him. Wen Ruohan is not worth a moment of lapse in Lan Zhan's ever-present self-control.

When the noon meal hour has almost finished, Brother approaches him with a respite in the form of a smaller boy clad in Nie gray. His features are delicate and Lan Zhan can immediately tell the boy is nervous by how tightly he is clenching the fan in his hand. Even before Brother introduces them and sweeps away soon after to avoid Lan Zhan’s impending attempts at persuasion, Lan Zhan knows the boy is Nie Mingjue’s younger brother, Nie Huaisang.

Nie Huaisang is a few months younger than Lan Zhan and set to attend Uncle’s guest disciple lectures the following year. The anxiety thrumming through Nie Huaisang puts Lan Zhan on edge, always feeling like he is one wrong word away from reaching out and soothing this frazzled boy himself. Scenting the Nie Sect Heir would be inappropriate, however. Nie Mingjue would excuse it, but the other Sect Leaders would only take this as proof of the fact that Lan Zhan is less than human.

Lan Zhan keeps his hands to himself as Nie Huaisang mumbles through many of his sentences, growing more and more discouraged after each of Lan Zhan’s terse responses. Many may say Lan Zhan is cold and unfeeling, but he is not blind to the way Nie Mingjue views his younger brother as something precious and worth protecting from the world at large. Nie Huaisang is Nie Mingjue’s Treasure and Lan Zhan wants to appear more welcoming and inviting, wants Nie Huaisang to feel comfortable around him, but he is unsure of how to do that.

The Jin Sect is the only other sect to have brought their young heir, but Jin Zixuan is not someone Lan Zhan would ever want to wish upon Nie Huaisang. Even if their time together is awkward, at least it will hopefully not leave Nie Huaisang in tears by the end.

“What are your interests, Lan-gongzi?” Nie Huaisang asks timidly, a flush high on his cheeks.

Lan Zhan hums, “Reading. The guqin.”

Nie Huaisang nods as his face turns a startling shade of pink. He continues to ask Lan Zhan questions no other person has ever bothered to ask him before and Lan Zhan continues to answer simply. He is sure that he is not making any progress in befriending Nie Mingjue’s younger brother, but he cannot deny that the curiosity in Nie Huaisang’s scent is distracting him.

Eventually, Lan Zhan is able to convince Nie Huaisang to play weiqi with him, watching and analyzing his every move. Nie Huaisang had mentioned how he and Nie Mingjue sometimes play together and Lan Zhan had turned to him very suddenly to challenge him to a game. He has played weiqi with Nie Mingjue only a handful of times himself, but the experiences alone were enough to tell Lan Zhan all he needed to know about Nie Mingjue’s character.

Nie Huaisang comes alive as they play. He appears timid and makes moves Lan Zhan would have generally classified as simple, but the longer they play, the longer Lan Zhan realizes that is not the case at all. Lan Zhan can practically taste the anticipation building up within Nie Huaisang as they move across the board, conceding defeat when Nie Huaisang’s plan is finally revealed to him.

They set the board for another round, Lan Zhan’s interest in the inner workings of Nie Huaisang's mind practically begging him to continue playing. Nie Huaisang’s plan is not the same as before but it is just as discrete and Lan Zhan cannot see it coming until Nie Huaisang has him exactly where he wants him.

It is all too clear to him that Nie Huaisang is intelligent and has an exceptional knack for strategy but he hides it behind his faked ignorance and paper fans.

Lan Zhan does not agree to another game, already aware that he will lose once more. Nie Huaisang deflates but then Lan Zhan haltingly asks him about his own interest in the arts and Nie Huaisang comes back to life. He can practically hear Nie Huaisang's mind at work as they spend the next shichen discussing music or reading excerpts from Nie Huaisang’s extensive collection of stories and poems together.

As the day fades away, Lan Zhan loosens ever so slightly around Nie Huaisang. He is not usually a fan of new acquaintances, but he finds himself enjoying Nie Huaisang’s company.

By the time dinner is approaching, Lan Zhan is reaching out to grip Nie Huaisang’s nape much the same way he did to Nie Mingjue all those years ago.

“Lan-gongzi?” Nie Huaisang asks, frozen in Lan Zhan’s grasp.

Lan Zhan rubs his thumb across the back of Nie Huaisang’s neck and releases him soon after. “You will be my Tail.”

Confusion flits across his face before Nie Huaisang understands. “Da-ge won’t be happy with that.”

It is good to see that Lan Zhan was not wrong about Nie Huaisang having knowledge of this already. To Lan Zhan, it made perfect sense for Nie Huaisang to learn everything he could about dragons if his older brother had been taken into the folds of a weyr, after all.

“Mn,” Lan Zhan hums. “Not for him to decide.”

Nie Huaisang blinks and stares at him, eyes gone wide as the realization sinks in. “Me?”

Lan Zhan nods. Nie Huaisang blinks again as his eyes begin to water, tears a very real thing that may happen in the next moment or so. Lan Zhan blinks back, confused over why this would garner such a response but decides to look into it later. Nie Huaisang apologized to him multiple times when he was in the middle of excitedly explaining something from one of his books or a poem he liked in particular and that was all Lan Zhan needed to know that when Nie Huaisang talks, others rarely listen.

That will never be the case in their weyr.

Nie Huaisang is correct that Nie Mingjue does not approve of Lan Zhan’s claim on him, but considering the fact that Nie Huaisang being added to their weyr is also what is necessary for Brother to finally talk to him, Lan Zhan does not have to listen to the Nie Sect Leader’s protests for very long. Brother’s explanation of weyr positions and Nie Huaisang’s role as a Tail is perfect, simple, and enough for Nie Mingjue to turn to his younger brother and see him in a different light.

After all, even when you focus on a dragon’s claws or teeth, you should never forget about its tail. Making such a mistake could be deadly.

Soon after they have returned from the Discussion Conference, Lan Zhan is given permission to venture into Caiyi Town unsupervised.

At first, he does not wish to go. He was granted this privilege through the Clan Elders, as all the other junior disciples had been as well. This is meant to be a group excursion with only those who had recently broken a rule not being allowed to go. Lan Zhan is the perfect disciple and therefore, the Clan Elders had no way of denying him this without raising many questions within the sect itself.

Lan Zhan, of course, could not care either way if he is allowed to go or not. He has no money of his own to spend in town nor friends to spend time with while there. Brother will be busy in Cloud Recesses with his own studies and may not accompany him. Asking Uncle would prove fruitless as well.

He ponders over whether Brother would believe him if he claimed to fall ill the morning of the excursion and decides that Brother would have already prepared for that kind of scenario. Instead, Lan Zhan grudgingly accepts the qiankun pouch full of money that Uncle pushes into his hands and ignores the teasing slant of Brother’s smile as he descends down the mountain with the other junior disciples.

The journey down is quick enough for Lan Zhan and as quiet as he expected it to be with no company. He is the first to step into Caiyi Town, most of the junior disciples still working their way down all those steps.

Caiyi Town smells of the lakewater that surrounds it and the street food that vaguely calls to Lan Zhan. In Cloud Recesses, their food is unseasoned and bland but filling nonetheless. Mother gave him sweets once as a child, something he found was not much to his liking. The smell of sugar lies heavily in the air and Lan Zhan decides to follow it to its source.

The marketplace is lively, not as loud as Lan Zhan expected it to be but disarming nevertheless. The stall selling candy is surrounded by children, some enjoying their sweets and others looking on with unabashed longing.

Before Lan Zhan recognizes what he is doing, he has already swept forward and bought each child in the vicinity a sweet. The vendor thanks him profusely, accepting the large sum of money Lan Zhan has offered him to pay. In truth, the amount is enough to buy out all the sweets but Lan Zhan only takes one for himself and asks the vendor to give the rest away to any child that wouldn’t normally be able to buy it for themselves.

He sweeps away, eyes roaming the marketplace as children cheer behind him. Their cries are not exceptionally loud, something about Caiyi Town as a whole keeping itself reserved. Lan Zhan doesn’t mind it though. He pops the sweet into his mouth and forces himself to get past the overbearing taste of sugar as he moves farther and farther away from the center of the marketplace. Here and there he can see the telling robes of his fellow junior disciples but walks past them without a second glance.

Even though his control is unshakable, for the most part, Lan Zhan keeps his distance from others out of habit. He passes one of the livelier inns and turns sharply away from the scent of what he can only assume is alcohol. The smell is bitter and sets his teeth on edge as he thinks of Mother before he viciously pushes the thought away.

Muscles he had not been aware of beforehand loosen as he moves forward, merely trailing around the marketplace in search of nothing in particular. Many vendors eye the cut of his robes and the clouds on his forehead ribbon, the only markings Lan Zhan carries of his position in the Lan Sect. They call out to him as he passes but Lan Zhan only nods to them in acknowledgment, silently apologizing as he continues to walk.

He stops at a quiet inn around noon and eats a simple meal, tipping generously once he has finished. He takes note of the inn’s name for future reference and decides it would be best to return back to Cloud Recesses for the remainder of the day.

He pauses as he steps out of the inn, ears immediately catching onto the words, “This came from a real dragon!”

Lan Zhan’s eyes trace the sound back to a vendor down the road with a small stall decorated in necklaces of all sorts. From this distance, Lan Zhan can make out the indistinct shape of teeth and glass jars hanging from the chords that cover the vendor’s stall. He is talking animatedly to a young man who peers down at the necklace being proffered to him before scoffing and walking away, muttering under his breath about knowing a scam when he sees one.

Despite himself, Lan Zhan is curious about what exactly this vendor is claiming is from a real dragon. He approaches calmly, inwardly delighted when the vendor brightens as he catches sight of him. The residents of Caiyi Town are aware of the dragon in the Gusu Lan Sect. None have seen him before today, but Lan Zhan is certain that they recognized who he was as soon as they saw the clouds on his ribbon. This vendor proves to be no different, even as his scent grows nervous, his expression and body language remain excited when Lan Zhan comes to a stop in front of his stall.

This close Lan Zhan can tell that none of this vendor’s merchandise came from an actual dragon. The teeth are too small, the water and wind caught in the glass jars too artificial, and the scales are nothing more than painted sheets of metal. The fans look to be made from high-quality material, at least, but Lan Zhan does not mention this to the vendor. He is more than aware of the fact that the vendor already knows and is hoping Lan Zhan won’t run him out of business by disputing his goods.

Lan Zhan reaches out for four of the tooth-bearing necklaces and pays the vendor more than they are worth before he turns on his heel and leaves. His lips twitch when the vendor thanks him profusely for his business, loudly drawing the attention of everyone milling about on the road.

It takes only one glimpse of his clouds for everyone to recognize him as he walks away and before he knows it, the stall is being flooded with customers.

Back in Cloud Recesses, Lan Zhan presents the necklaces to Brother and Uncle. Lans do not wear jewelry, not the type most can see anyway. He bought these on a whim, but he is glad when they silently wrap the chords around their wrists before hiding their hands within their draping sleeves once more.

As for the last two necklaces, Lan Zhan sends those to the Nie brothers. He enlists Brother’s help to get them delivered and is satisfied when Nie Huaisang sends him a thank you letter in return. Or as satisfied as he can be when only a week later, he receives another letter from his Tail informing him that he has somehow misplaced the gift Lan Zhan gave him. Lan Zhan takes that to mean Nie Huaisang did not particularly like the necklace he was given and is asking for something else instead as politely as he can.

(Years later, however, Nie Huaisang will tell him that he gave the necklace to a boy from the Jiang Sect with startling silver eyes who was in awe of the fact that a dragon had given him his own teeth as a gift. Nie Huaisang did not have the heart to tell the boy that the teeth were fake and instead allowed him to keep the necklace as a token of their new friendship. Lan Zhan finds that he cannot fault his Tail for this when he meets the silver-eyed boy for himself.)

Lan Zhan returns to the same vendor as before on his next allowed excursion into Caiyi Town and grabs the fan with a detailed drawing of a dilong on it, ignoring how much it resembles his mother.

Nie Huaisang shoots him a smile behind that same fan the next time they meet and that becomes the end of that.

On one autumn day when Lan Zhan is thirteen, he experiences the effects of his first growth spurt.

In his usual bleariness of the early morning, he mistakes the pain in his lower back as an ache from not sleeping in the traditionally accepted Lan sleeping position. Even though he falls asleep while laying on his back, he always wakes in the morning to find that he has moved in the middle of the night.

That morning he happens to wake up curled up on his side, his hair a tangled mess beneath his shoulder. He sits up carefully, distantly aware of the twinge near his spine as he moves. Gently, he turns at the waist and sighs as the twinge disappears almost immediately.

By then, Lan Zhan has decided this is a matter of little importance and begins preparing for the day. He forgets about the discomfort from the morning until the noon meal has passed and his back begins to ache again.

He is in the middle of sword practice when he parries a blow from his sparring partner and feels his shoulder twinge with mild pain. Lan Zhan ignores it, for the time being, and finishes the spar quicker than usual. His sparring partner bows to him after she has risen from the ground, her white robes dusted with dirt. He barely remembers to bow back before he turns on his heel and finds a spot on the sidelines to watch the rest of the spars.

Lan Zhan slowly rotates his arm, feeling his brows come together for a split second before his face smooths itself of all expression again. A slow and steady heat is spreading from his shoulder blades down to his waist, an unusual urge to scratch the knobs of his spine valiantly attempting to push through to the forefront of his thoughts. He ignores that as well, sitting out for the rest of the sword practice and excusing himself when the itching becomes too distracting.

The master swordsman in charge of their class waves him away, asking only once if Lan Zhan is feeling alright before he is dismissed. Lan Zhan is intent on seeing a healer but halfway to the healer’s hall, his feet start to lead him towards Brother instead. His back now feels like it is burning but Lan Zhan continues to calmly follow his brother's scent past the bustling main halls and into the back slopes of Cloud Recesses.

He finds Brother sitting on a dry rock by the cold springs, staring pensively into the waters.

"Brother," Lan Zhan speaks, surprised by how strained he sounds. He reaches up to grasp his shoulder before he can stop himself, the burning feeling only increasing with each moment that passes. "Brother," he repeats.

Brother startles as he turns to face him, confusion and concern blanketing his face. "A-Zhan? Are you unwell? What's wrong?"

Lan Zhan shakes his head, his grip on his shoulder tightening even further. "Brother."

"A-Zhan," Brother breathes, standing up quickly and rushing to Lan Zhan's side. "What’s wrong? Tell me."

Lan Zhan shakes his head, his tongue suddenly feeling too heavy. He feels too big for this form, his clothes constricting instead of comforting him with their familiar sensation and weight. "Brother," is all he can manage to say before he tugs on his sash to begin removing his robes.

Brother seems to understand because, in the next moment, his hands have replaced Lan Zhan's trembling ones as they methodically remove his three outer robes and hesitate before pulling Lan Zhan's two inner robes off as well. Lan Zhan only notices enough to nod, too used to nudity around his older brother to care about it now.

(Brother did mind for a while, but only because he thought Lan Zhan would feel different now that his second form was changing with age. Lan Zhan didn't and so their typical camaraderie had, thankfully, returned.)

Lan Zhan sinks into the cold springs after he tugs his boots off and leaves them by the bundle of his robes that Brother is slowly folding. The water calms him briefly before the burning on his back returns, and Lan Zhan submerges himself completely underwater. He wrenches his eyes shut and clenches his hands into fists by his side, taking stock of the pain.

It is different than it was in the morning, even different than it was not that long ago at sword practice as well. Before it was just a twinge or an ache he could ignore and push to the side to deal with later. Now it is like an invisible fire has sprung into existence on his back, taking shelter in his spine as his body screams to be released from this form.

In the next moment, Lan Zhan relaxes and feels the familiar shift in his bones take hold. His transition is swift and clean, his first form tuning into the rhythm of his Treasure's heartbeat. He moves with the change in forms, his head breaking the water's surface and inhaling the fresh afternoon air. His limbs stay underwater, but bits and pieces of his back are exposed to the sky above him. The fire is gone now, everything as it should be.

When Lan Zhan opens his eyes, he finds Brother gaping at him in shock.

Lan Zhan leans forward to brush his whiskers against the top of Brother's hair, chuffing as Brother lets out an inelegant snort he would never allow anyone else to hear in public. Anyone except for Uncle and Nie Mingjue, but they are not exactly anyone so Lan Zhan does not point out this exception. After all, their weyr has extended from three Lans to include two Nies as well.

Brother reaches out to press the flat of his palm against Lan Zhan's muzzle, moving upwards to scent him in return. Since his birth, Lan Zhan has almost always had Brother's scent on his skin. When he was with Mother for those first two years, his brother was not always available to scent him as often as Lan Zhan wanted to but since Mother died, Lan Zhan has made a point of scenting Brother daily. Brother did not do the same in return at first, but now he reaches out for Lan Zhan in either form without nary a thought.

"A-Zhan," Brother breathes into the air between them, one hand pressed to his own chest as his heartbeat quickens and his scent morphs from concern to awe. "You've grown."

He can already guess what will greet him, but Lan Zhan turns enough to glance behind him anyway. He freezes as soon as his eyes catch sight of his tail, much longer and thicker than it was the last time he went flying. His second form is changing by the day though, maturing and growing. Maybe it stands to reason that Lan Zhan's first form would also change to accommodate the progress of his second form.

Still, Lan Zhan almost cannot believe it.

While Lan Zhan's body continues to grow, his mind races ahead in leaps and bounds.

Brother is close to adulthood but not quite there yet. He no longer hopes for an official marriage with Nie Mingjue, but their sworn brotherhood is no secret. Uncle had approved and arranged for the ceremony to take place shortly before the Discussion Conference held in Qinghe came to an end. Still, whenever Nie Mingjue is mentioned, Brother’s scent goes sour with the force of his sadness.

Lan Zhan doesn’t understand why until Nie Huaisang sheds light on the situation for him.

Nie Huaisang is in Cloud Recesses for the year-long lectures Uncle holds for the guest disciples every other year. Three days earlier, Lan Zhan had spent the better part of the morning waiting at the entrance to welcome the Nie Sect Heir then show him to the guest disciple dormitories.

When he first caught sight of him, Nie Huaisang had smiled so brightly that Lan Zhan felt the ridiculous urge to glance behind him to check if there was someone else Nie Huaisang was so happy to see. His surprise must have shown because Nie Huaisang had laughed quietly enough for only Lan Zhan to hear after they bowed to each other and gave the customary greetings expected of them. Lan Zhan was certain that Nie Huaisang was going to walk close enough by his side to be considered improper, but his Tail had kept a respectable amount of distance between them and barely fidgeted with his fan as they walked further into Cloud Recesses.

Only once they were safely behind closed doors did Nie Huaisang sit beside him and press their upper arms together as they drank tea. Lan Zhan had calmed at the familiar position, envisioning both of their older brothers sitting across from them like they usually did when they all had tea together. While Nie Huaisang was in the process of reciting his newest collection of poetry to him, Lan Zhan had reached out and gripped the back of his neck. His Tail had gone limp in his hold, giving in without a fight to show Lan Zhan how much he had missed their scenting sessions.

It had not occurred to Lan Zhan that Nie Huaisang might be lacking in receiving physical contact until he came to Cloud Recesses without his brother accompanying him. At that moment, however, it became startling clear and Lan Zhan has made it a point to scent Nie Huaisang every day since then.

Brother has been unhappy all day, the sour scent of it cloying. Lan Zhan scented him before breakfast in an attempt to distract him but instead, he has Brother's sadness lingering on his skin, the weight of it dragging on Lan Zhan all day. It has had him on edge and when Lan Zhan feels like crawling out of his skin but is unable to shift, he plays music.

That is why when he sits down to practice his guqin after classes have ended and Nie Huaisang leans against his back, Lan Zhan remains stiff and upright. He plays all of Brother's favorites first before the notes blend into a song Nie Huaisang shared with him during his last visit with his brother.

When the song ends, Nie Huaisang reaches out and grips Lan Zhan's wrist to stop him from plucking the strings again. "Lan-xiong."

Lan Zhan inclines his head in Nie Huaisang's direction to show that he is listening. He does not miss the way his Tail's face softens, nor can he mistake the dull sprigs of surprise buried within his scent. His chest tightens, an unfamiliar feeling gripping him whole as he thinks of how often Nie Huaisang must be brushed aside and not taken as seriously as his brother to be caught off-guard when he immediately receives the full force of someone's attention on him.

He knows Nie Mingjue listens to every word Nie Huaisang says, knows that his Claw cherishes his younger brother more than anything in this world. Lan Zhan knows that Nie Huaisang's hidden reaction is not a result of his brother's actions, but the reaction itself still bothers him. No one in his weyr should ever expect their words to be ignored, especially not Nie Huaisang.

"Do you wish to speak about what is bothering you?" Nie Huaisang's steady voice draws Lan Zhan out of his thoughts, pulling him back to the present. "You are troubled, my Head."

Words are not Lan Zhan's greatest strength. It takes only an incense stick's worth of time in his company to know this fact. Many think him aloof and reserved, always intimately aware of his ire but never of the other multiple emotions filling him to the brim. That Nie Huaisang can tell he is upset does not surprise Lan Zhan. Nie Huaisang asking if he would like to air his grievances does.

Lan Zhan wanting to share his troubles with the newest member of his weyr surprises him even more.

He nods, placing his free hand over Nie Huaisang's on his wrist. Nie Huaisang starts to apologize for interrupting him in such a manner, but Lan Zhan brushes it aside and grips onto Nie Huaisang's hand tighter.

"Brother is upset," Lan Zhan finally manages to say, eyes downcast and glued to their joined hands.

Nie Huaisang sighs, sagging beside him. "Yes, I have noticed Zewu-jun's mood has not been as bright as it should be these past few days."

Lan Zhan nods again, leaning into Nie Huaisang's warmth without much thought. "Do you..." He trails off, suddenly unsure of what exactly he wants to ask.

"Da-ge told me that there has been a sudden influx of marriage proposals for him recently. Our Clan Elders wish for him to marry sooner rather than later," Nie Huaisang speaks into the silence between them. “They want the line of succession to remain clear.”

Lan Zhan stiffens, fury and indignation rolling up from the depths of his very being. He knew Brother's future relationship with Nie Mingjue would not come without complications, but to know that others are willing to force his Treasure’s mate into a loveless marriage leaves him feeling like he is lost at sea. Unmoored from the stability and control he has taught himself from the moment he took his very first breath.

"Sect Leader Nie will⎼" Lan Zhan begins to say, his words resembling a long and drawn-out hiss he is more familiar with in his first form than in this one.

Nie Huaisang does not let go of his hand, does not flinch or pull away when faced with Lan Zhan's anger and in the recesses of Lan Zhan's thoughts, he feels awful for subjecting a member of his weyr to this. It is not any fault of Nie Huaisang's that their brothers will not have the chance to be together. It is not Lan Zhan's fault either but he cannot abate the rage building up within him that easily.

"I am more than willing to produce an heir for the Nie Sect, Lan-xiong. I told Da-ge that he does not have to marry out of duty, no matter what the Clan Elders say," Nie Huaisang states, not half as calmly as he is hoping to appear but enough to confront Lan Zhan's baser instincts head-on.

Despite his sudden anger, Lan Zhan inhales deeply and closes his eyes. He focuses on keeping his breathing normal, on finding his way back to the pier he has always kept his control tied to. Nie Huaisang waits patiently at his side, the last vestiges of fear fading away from his Tail's scent as Lan Zhan calms.

He opens his eyes when he is more than sure of his temperament and bows in apology, eyes downcast. Nie Huaisang flushes through his acceptance and then changes the subject, prattling on about how difficult his studies are. Lan Zhan hums where appropriate, mentally far away from this moment and glad of the fact that his Tail has not taken offense.

Later, Lan Zhan finds Uncle in his room before dinner.

"Wangji, did you wish to join me for dinner?" Uncle asks after Lan Zhan has given the proper greetings.

Lan Zhan shakes his head, holding his hand out in a silent question. Uncle meets his gaze as he nods, stepping forward so Lan Zhan can easily reach out and scent him.

"Sect Leader Nie is being pressured into marriage," Lan Zhan begins with, brushing his thumb behind Uncle's ear and wondering if Uncle will consider what he says next as gossiping. "The Elders will not allow this one to produce an heir. Now or in the future."

Uncle sighs, aging before his very eyes. "Yes, Wangji. They have come to accept Xichen as heir thanks to his sworn brotherhood with Sect Leader Nie and the political ties it will give the Lan Sect. They expect him to marry within due time and produce an heir for the sect so you never will."

"Brother knows?" Lan Zhan asks, raising his other hand so Uncle's face is cupped between his palms.

"No, but Xichen will have guessed already."

Lan Zhan hums, dropping his hands so they lie at his sides once more. Uncle sighs, a sound Lan Zhan is not used to but does not mind. This is not a conversation Uncle expected to have with his almost fourteen-year-old nephew, after all. Neither of them is at fault for the situation at hand but they both cannot help but feel guilty for the apparent outcome regardless.

Uncle reaches out and smooths Lan Zhan’s hair down, his scent curdling with sadness and guilt. "This old one apologizes, Wangji. I can do no more than I already have."

"Mn," Lan Zhan responds, not out of agreement but to show Uncle that he has heard him. "Uncle has done his best. Wangji is grateful."

Uncle cups his cheek for a brief moment before he steps back and dismisses Lan Zhan, urging him to join his older brother for dinner. Lan Zhan agrees, not bothering to point out that was his initial plan.

Though every meal is marked with silence, the one Lan Zhan shares with Brother that night is edged with something else. Something that has Lan Zhan itching to play more music in an attempt to curb the unfamiliar feeling.

"Brother," Lan Zhan says once they have cleared the empty bowls and dishes away. "Second Young Master Nie has informed me of his plans to give his sect an heir."

Brother's silver gaze burns against him but Lan Zhan remains steady. He has his brother's sole attention now, the full force of his focus that others tend to wither under. Lan Zhan reaches out and takes hold of his brother's hands in his, not allowing their eyes to stray from one another.

"I will not be allowed to produce an heir," Lan Zhan admits, feeling his heartbeat increase when Brother's gaze only intensifies.

"The Elders will not allow Mother's blood to linger in the Lan Clan through you," Brother says so softly that Lan Zhan has to strain to hear him. "If your future spouse is not a man, they will destroy your chances at marriage."

Lan Zhan hums in agreement, still gripping onto his brother's hands. "Brother."

Brother leans forward until their foreheads are close to touching, both of them bowed over their joined hands. "A-Zhan, let us find happiness where we can."

"Mn."

Lan Zhan's debut makes a monumental splash across the waters of the cultivation world.

The night hunt he accompanied Brother, Nie Huaisang, and a handful of other junior disciples on was simple. They had resolved the issue within two nights and returned to Cloud Recesses three days before the graduation ceremony for the guest disciples would take place.

Nie Huaisang had failed his exams, excited for his plans to return again in a year's time when Lan Zhan will be able to join the lessons. Nie Mingjue had plenty to say when he had found out but Brother had distracted him before he could cause a scene when he came to accompany Nie Huaisang home.

(Lan Zhan, for his own part, had asked his Tail if he had failed on purpose and sat silently through the adamant denial Nie Huaisang offered in a teasing voice.)

Since his debut, Lan Zhan and his brother have been regaled as the Twin Jade Dragons of Gusu Lan. Lan Zhan himself did not gain an official title like Brother had, but he is both pleased and discomfited with the unofficial one they have come to share between them.

After the guest disciple lessons are officially over, the Twin Jade Dragons see the small party from the Nie Sect off, wishing for their safety on their trek back home. Brother and Nie Mingjue bow to each other as is becoming of a Sect Leader and a Sect Heir, but Nie Huaisang's bow to Lan Zhan is much less formal than is expected.

Lan Zhan returns it despite all the eyes he can feel on him and hums in agreement when Nie Huaisang asks him to continue to keep in contact. He can already guess what Nie Huaisang's incoming letter will center around and mentally catalogs all the possible responses he can present in turn.

Months after Lan Zhan's debut, the Clan Elders invite him to a discussion Brother was unaware of until Lan Zhan mentions it to him.

Uncle and Brother both escort him to the meeting, standing firm by his side even when the Elders make their distaste over their uninvited appearance clear. Lan Zhan stays silent throughout the entire thing. His input isn't welcome here anyway.

By the end of it, Uncle and Brother have agreed for Lan Zhan to enter seclusion until the lessons for next year's guest disciples begin. The Elders had said they were concerned that all the new scents and people Lan Zhan will be joining in a classroom setting would upset his instincts and put everyone at risk. They want him to seclude himself and strengthen his control until there is no chance of him ever losing it.

Lan Zhan knows the extent of his control. He is well aware of this being another manner in which the Clan Elders want to exert their own control over him. Lan Zhan has never been bothered by new people and all their different mannerisms so he knows the Clan Elders’ reasoning to be flighty at best. New scents only take up enough of Lan Zhan's attention for him to recognize them as unfamiliar before moving on.

It has been too long since the Clan Elders have made their presence known in his life. Something like this has been long overdue.

Lan Zhan remains silent on their trek back to his room, musing over how to word his proposal.

"Wangji," Uncle begins with once they have entered Lan Zhan's room. "There is nothing Xichen and I can do that would change the Elders' minds."

"Mn. Wangji understands," Lan Zhan replies, meeting his uncle's gaze easily. "Brother, Uncle. Wangji wishes to make a request."

Brother nods. "If it is within our power to do so, we will listen and grant it."

Lan Zhan bows, keeping his eyes on his feet. "Wangji wishes to seclude in the Jingshi."

Silence befalls them, the shock and surprise in their scents filling the air between them. Lan Zhan remains bowing, keeping his posture perfect and proper as he waits.

"A-Zhan," Brother whispers, reaching out to grip Lan Zhan's elbow and pull him out of his bow. "Your seclusion will not be like Mother's punishment."

"Wangji understands," Lan Zhan responds, eyes still on his own two feet. "Wangji still wishes to seclude in the Jingshi."

Uncle grips his other elbow, pulling him a step closer until Lan Zhan is forced to look up so he can see the expressions on their faces. "You may move into the Jingshi. This would please the Elders, but your seclusion will end before the guest disciple lessons begin, Wangji. You have broken no rules. You are the model disciple that the Lan Sect is fortunate enough to have. Your seclusion is not a punishment."

Lan Zhan is surprised by the vehemence of his uncle's words for only a moment.

Uncle is steadfast in his stance and respectable. He is stubborn and holds the Lan Sect rules in high regard. Lan Zhan knows that Uncle was greatly affected by Mother’s punishment and his sire’s seclusion. As a result, Uncle has done his best to raise him and Brother to always respect those rules. Uncle was never fond of Mother, but he was still one of the only two people who believed her when she presented her case to the Clan Elders all those years ago.

Uncle is the one who recited the rules to Lan Zhan as a toddler and Uncle is the one who first placed a brush into Lan Zhan's tiny hand before guiding him through writing his own name. Uncle is the one who gave Lan Zhan his first guqin, who arranged for both Lan Zhan's and his brother's swords to be made, and who indulged Lan Zhan's scenting until Uncle grew used to daily physical contact. Uncle was the one who nursed Brother when he was sick as a child, who hurried to Lan Zhan's side the only time he found himself injured, and Uncle was the one who helped Lan Zhan practice keeping his expression blank even when overwhelmed with the sheer breadth of his feelings. Uncle was the one who gave him and Brother their courtesy names, the one who took them to see Mother every month, and the one who told them when she was no longer in this world.

Of course, Brother would not be the only one wary of a dragon secluding in the Jingshi again. Lan Zhan must strive to remember that his second Treasure cherishes him just as much as Lan Zhan does him.

"Wangji understands," Lan Zhan repeats, allowing himself to be pulled forward into the group hug Brother initiates.

Lan Zhan is fifteen when he emerges from seclusion.

During those isolated months, Lan Zhan was grateful that Brother came to visit him every day. They would share a quiet dinner and scent each other afterward before Brother would take his leave. Sometimes Brother would stay longer to hear Lan Zhan play on Wangji, but it happened rarely enough that Lan Zhan tended to savor his brother's praise on his playing. Uncle, too, would visit, only dropping in once a week to make sure that Lan Zhan was remaining relatively healthy and continued to have everything he needed.

Visits during seclusion are not expressly forbidden, but Lan Zhan knew if the Clan Elders had ever caught on, it would have soon been added to the wall.

Now Lan Zhan is once again allowed to be out and about. Uncle's year-long lessons begin tomorrow, the last of the guest disciples having arrived earlier today. Nie Huaisang arrived four days earlier and has come to visit Lan Zhan twice since then, tagging along with Brother to join them for dinner.

Lan Zhan no longer has his Tail's scent on his skin but he is looking forward to another year of Nie Huaisang's company.

Seclusion has left Lan Zhan feeling cemented in the Lan Sect's rules. He studied them countless times, pouring over every character with the utmost attention. He'd been too lax before, he is well aware of that now. The Clan Elders could have accused him of breaking a handful of rules and it would have easily turned his seclusion into the punishment he knows they still wish to hand out to him.

In appearance, he was the perfect disciple that the Clan Elders could no longer do anything except wait for him to misstep and lose control. In his heart, Lan Zhan knows he will never allow that to happen.

Uncle has given him the title of Discipline Master as a way to welcome him back into the folds of the sect. Lan Zhan now has the power to dole out punishment to his age-mates and those younger than him who happen to break a rule. As Discipline Master, he must aid in the curfew rounds, making sure that everyone is in bed by nine. Considering that there are now guest disciples staying with them, Lan Zhan is not expecting his first night to be quiet.

The light of the full moon gives Lan Zhan all the light he needs to prowl the corridors, his senses on the alert for any curfew breakers. Cloud Recesses is filled with new scents and sounds, but its appearance has not changed.

It is still the mountain high in the clouds that he was raised in. It is still where the rivers and streams that follow his command reside. It is still home, even despite the animosity he faces on its slopes.

Near the outer wall, Lan Zhan hears scuffling and quiet cursing on the other side. He pauses, gripping Bichen tightly as the scuffling starts to climb up the wall until it is located above his head.

A moment later, a hand holding two jars throws itself over the wall, the rest of the guest disciple's body following soon after to sprawl across the roof.

Lan Zhan looks up at the guest disciple, taking in his unruly, black hair and the white of his disciple robes embroidered with purple lotus flowers that mark him as a disciple of Yunmeng Jiang. "Step back."

The Jiang disciple stumbles, gripping onto the roof to keep his balance. "Ah! You startled me. How am I meant to step back now?"

Annoyance begins to build up within Lan Zhan at the Jiang disciple’s volume. He sniffs the air subtly, easily recognizing the bitter tang of alcohol surrounding the jars in the Jiang disciple's hand. Lan Zhan jumps onto the roof, eyes finding the Jiang disciple's own. They are silver, a shade darker than Brother's but similar enough in color. Lan Zhan feels unsettled for just a moment as he marvels at the resemblance between real silver and this Jiang disciple's eyes.

"What are you holding in your hand?" Lan Zhan demands, already knowing the answer but wanting to see if the Jiang disciple will admit to his rule-breaking or not.

The Jiang disciple looks from his hand and back to Lan Zhan, amusement swimming richly in the air. "It’s Emperor’s Smile! If I share a jar with you, can you pretend that you never saw me?"

Lan Zhan almost cannot believe the audacity of this Jiang disciple trying to bribe him. "Alcohol is forbidden in Cloud Recesses."

"Why don’t you tell me what exactly is not forbidden in your sect?" The Jiang disciple asks, his nose scrunched up in a manner that Lan Zhan finds he cannot look away from.

His annoyance has now evolved into irritation, none of it showing on his face but clear enough in his tone of voice. "Our rules are on the wall by the entrance. You should have read them when you arrived."

"Who has the time to read all those rules?" The Jiang disciple asks as he gets to his feet and smiles, the sight of it alone punching the air out of Lan Zhan's lungs. "Alright, if alcohol is prohibited in Cloud Recesses, then I won’t go in. I’ll drink it standing back here. That wouldn’t count as violating the rules, would it?"

Lan Zhan has only just regained his senses when the Jiang disciple gulps down an entire jar of Emperor's Smile, standing on the other side of the roof. A clear, small stream of alcohol trickles down his throat and glistens under the moonlight. A gust of wind passes them by as Lan Zhan’s agitation grows and Lan Zhan freezes. He can feel his heart racing in his chest, something deep within him unfurling and awakening as Lan Zhan catches the full force of this Jiang disciple's scent in the air.

He smells of lotus flowers and chili peppers, of something sweet like sugar and tart like berries. The Jiang disciple’s scent is both an unusual combination and exhilarating all at once. Lan Zhan's heartbeat increases, his breaths deviating from their normal pattern as the Jiang disciple finishes drinking from the dark jar in his hand. He watches him sigh, content, even as he blatantly disregards the rule Lan Zhan has so plainly explained to him.

There is a series of words on the tip of Lan Zhan's tongue, sweeping through his mind, and upturning his senses. He does not know what those words are until he has broken the second jar of Emperor's Smile after drawing his sword on this beautiful, brash Jiang disciple and fights him across the rooftop of the outer wall under the light of the full moon.

Silver. Shiny. Treasure, his instincts whisper to him.

"Treasure," Lan Zhan says under his breath as the Jiang disciple loudly mourns the loss of his alcohol. "...Mate."

a/n #2: please note those lines at the end that were lifted from the novel bc they are definitely not mine and i thought them fitting to include. i took bits and pieces of info about oriental dragons and mashed it with stuff about european dragons to create all this too.

thank you for reading my heart and joy! i spent months on this and hope to get part 2 out soon so we can all swoon over wangxian and their courting. but please be patient with me in case it doesn't come out very soon after all.

a huge thank you to eri for cleaning up the bulk of my rambling mess while still being super supportive. you're wonderful and i owe you one of my kidneys at this point. you can cash that in whenever you want, homie. and minzi did such an amazing job on the art and you should all shower minzi in love and adoration for it bc i know that i definitely will :((( <3

[theuntamednarrator]

Thank you @mika--82​ for the question! I’m sorry it took so long but since I really enjoyed plotting out my Cangse Sanren lives au, and I think a lot about the women in The Untamed who didn't get to see their children grow up, strap in for round two of TB Revives the Mothers of the Untamed. This week's episode: Save Mama Lan by killing Lan Qiren \^.^/

(Many thanks to @drwcn​ for letting me borrow her hc names for Mama Lan (Qui Baiti) and Papa Lan (Lan Cenrong). You can read more about them on her blog here and here.)

(Warning for an unsuccessful suicide attempt)

QBT has been isolated in the Jingshi for a decade. She only sees her sons once a month, she isn’t allowed her sword, and her spiritual power is kept sealed

But LWJ inherited his stubbornness from his mum and she's determined to escape, one way or another

LQR is walking by the Jingshi when he feels a massive surge of energy and breaks his first ever Discipline (no running in Cloud Recesses)

He wrenches the Jingshi door open and sees an array that wouldn't look out of place two decades in the future in an alternate universe in a dingy shed behind Mo Manor

LQR breaks his second Discipline in as many minutes (do not make excessive noise) when he screams for his brother before he grabs QBT and drags her out of the array

LQR didn't have time to think, let alone study what the effects of that might be, all he knew was that it was killing her, and that her death would kill the brother he loves more than anything else

The backlash strikes him and he keels over

QBT gathers him up, sobbing and asking why he did it, she wanted to die, why did you do it Lan-er-gongzi? what were you thinking? Your brother loves you

LQR meets his brother’s eyes as he appears over her shoulder, the terrified disciples flanking him a white blur

He smiles and says I know

Curtains on LQR

(alternatively, we can just kill JGS again because ngl that was real satisfying the first time around)

Now the Elders are in a pickle because this may have been an accident but QBT has now been responsible for the deaths of an Elder and Second Young Master Lan

It's decided that the only option is exile

QBT is forbidden from setting foot in Cloud Recesses and the territories of Gusu Lan for ten year and forbidden from speaking to any Lan disciple during that time

She bows, accepts back the plain sword she had yielded when she came through the gates to be married, and is gone before the dawn. LCR watches her leave and then goes to wake their sons

Now, QBT was a wandering cultivator long before she was Lan-furen and actually really enjoys returning to life on the road

I wandered once! I can do it again!

Five years later she meets XXC battling a ferocious demon snake and together they defeat it

QBT definitely doesn’t feel her heart beat a little faster at the youthful face, white robes, and elegant jade-and-silver sword

She answers XXC's graceful bow with one of her own and the two spend a week clearing out the fierce nests of demons on the mountain

The next time their wandering brings them together she is introduced to my good friend Song Lan and hides her smile in her sleeve

Meanwhile in Cloud Recesses without LQR to pick up the slack LCR is forced to step out of seclusion and actually run his sect and parent his children

He does a very good job

QBT has to fight back proud tears every time she hears Twin Jades of Lan spoken of with awe

Ten years to the day of her exile QBT is grinning as she climbs the long flights of stairs towards the gates of Cloud Recesses

Part of that might be the entertaining company she walks with

A young man clutching two bottles of Emperor's Smile and talking so fast she’s only half listening while she tries to figure out if he’s actually taken a breath since introducing himself

Talking at breakneck speed of the young master who had been so strict with him at the gates, aiya Auntie! He was so cold! you should have seen his stony face

QBT only grins harder as WWX climbs the wall, is challenged, and blades flash over tiles (it might bring back fond memories of her own youth)

She slips over the wall while they are distracted and once WWX is silenced she reaches out her hand

You handle your sword beautifully, may I?

LWJ can't even say why - it's too dark to see her face and the voice is roughened after 10 years on the road - but he hands Bichen over without a second thought

She sighs as she runs a finger over the blade and the steel glows, lighting up her face (solely because I think glowy Bichen is very sexy and we should have had more of it in the drama honestly)

Bichen suits you better than it ever suited me, ZhanZhan 

LWJ is emoting all over the place (so embarrassing)

(luckily his back is to WWX because if baby disaster bi WWX saw that smile he would've died on the spot)

WWX of course is still a troublemaking rule breaker and LWJ is still charged with overseeing his punishment

QBT and LXC are united in their LWJ should make friends agenda and LXC inherited his sense of humour and delight for teasing LWJ from QBT

Between the two of them LWJ soon has more friends than he knows what to do with

QBT and LXC co-captain the good ship Wangxian

Of course plot stuff still happens including accidental-marriage-before-a-Quest-Ghost

XXC and SL meet them in Yueyang and when LWJ introduces himself they're thrilled because hey we know your mum! she’s real cool!

They don't trust the clans and they might've heard of NMJ but they know Qui-jiejie and they trust her and so they decide XY will go to Cloud Recesses for judgement

N-wow the twin jades are really deserving of their reputations-HS insists on a Qinghe representative going too

oh me? no no Wei-xiong this has been quite enough adventure for me. Meng Yao you'll go won't you? Dage trusts you and Lan-gongzi admired your *delicate cough* capability *innocent smile*

my.blush.com/embarrassed/yearning agrees

QBT is delighted to see XXC and SL again and happily introduces them to her elder son

SL and LXC almost immediately get into a heated debate over ahistorical fantasy chinese philosophy and/or politics and are instantly bonded

QBT may or may not have instigated said debate with a well-timed quote from a well-known (re: divisive) text

Basically QBT shares my get LXC more friends agenda

SL is, again, the first person (apart from LXC and his parents) to laugh at LWJ's jokes

WWX still refuses to believe this actually happened (the joke and SL laughing) (XXC swears it’s true)

XY is locked in the back hills and eventually a) dies trying to use his hidden piece of the yin iron to break the seals OR b) is rehabilitated by the power of bunnies and become an outer disciple (reader's choice!)

XXC and SL accompany WWX and JC part of the way to Lotus Pier

Cloud Recesses is attacked, QBT and LCR send LXC and MY away with the sacred texts, MY promising he knows somewhere safe to hide

LWJ refuses to leave his parents. The losses are not as bad as in canon, the Wen are beaten back, but LCR and LWJ are both injured

No Good Very Bad Summer Camp with World's Worst Head Counselor WC

No Good Very Bad Turtle Cave of Love

WWX wakes post-rescue with LWJ still there

(Because his parents are holding Cloud Recesses and he knows LXC is safe so he doesn't need to rush off)

JZX, JC, LWJ, and WWX spend a day planning before they split up

(this is hilarious and JC says "fuck" not less than 219 times)

(WWX only almost punches JZX and it only happens twice honestly people should be grateful! he was so restrained!!)

They all return home, LWJ promising to bring reinforcements from Cloud Recesses to Lotus Pier (because it's the most obvious next target. no other reason. just. strategically it makes sense)

WQ sends WN to Lotus Pier to warn WWX when WZL's forces are on their way

When the Wen attack, they're met with a prepared force of 1) YZY and the Jiang Disciples 2) QBT, LWJ, and a contingent of Lan Disciples AND 3) JC and WWX and a gaggle of archers (seriously why tf show the Jiang being so good and then only give us two archery fight scene moments and it’s heart breaking sixth young master jiang dying and some rando ouyang disciple shooting WWX?)

Things get a little hairy but between YZY and QBT they defeat WZL and the rest of the Wen quickly surrender

JFM and JYL arrive just as the battle is ending, escorted by Madam Jin, JZX, LQY, and all the Jin Disciples who were at Cloud Recesses

(WWX: MianMian you came you must have been so worried about me! LQY, ignoring him: Lan-er-gongzi are you okay? WWX: ah Lan Zhan you MianMian really likes you! that’s lucky! LWJ, screaming internally: mn)

(JGS was furious when JZX announced he was joining the campaign but what could he possibly say in front of his battle ready wife without looking like the utter coward of a wet biscuit he is)

Once again WWX is left with a screaming sword, too much curiosity, and too much time on his hands (due to his adopted family being not-dead)

But worse he has now also access to a woman who created an array powerful enough to kill even with her spiritual power sealed

Poor WRH doesn't stand a chance, even without MY spying for the Sunshot Campaign

After the battle QBT&LCR and YZY&JFM shut JGS's bullshit power grab down real quick and JGS sulks like the baby he is (probably in a brothel) while Madam Jin and JZX take over Lanling Jin

JZX hears about MY and the way he helped LXC and NMJ sends a letter of support and JZX is already quite jealous of all these sibling bonds and welcomes Ziyao with open arms

(All of which goes slightly to waste when JZY marries out to the Lan clan slightly less than a year later but hey, at least it's a good alliance.)

WQ takes over the Wen Clan but tears down Nightless City and relocates the capital to Dafan

(WQ: have you been to Nightless City? It’s built on an active volcano. Do you know how bad sulfur ash is for open wounds? Do you know what medical herbs grow in lava slurry? None is the answer. My family are all fucking morons)

(WQ: Not you a-Ning you’re a delight and we’re thrilled you’re here)

Rumour has it a certain immortal was so impressed with the stories of the medical techniques of Dafan Wen that she paid WQ a visit

(Disciples are so reckless after all! One never knows when one might need to be capable of transplanting vital organs!)

Each year WWX and LWJ spend 3 months at Gusu, 3 months at Lotus Pier, and 6 months wandering with XXC and SL

They get "fake married" no less than four times in three years (for the investigation xiongzhang! absolutely no other reason shishu! no other reason at all!) before LXC, MY, XXC, and SL get fed up and barricade them in their room until they talk to each other dammit

(LXC is very grateful MY has gotten so handy with the silencing talismans because the 'conversation' gets uncomfortably loud real quick)

Side note to say Clarity works very well to avert a qi deviation when it's not being actively corrupted, thanks very much, and NMJ lives many, many, many years which would be entirely happy if only NHS would pick up his saber once in a while

He would tell NHS this if he could ever find him

Happy ending!³

[bloody-bee-tea]

A good, protective monster

I wanted to write a protective, deadly Lan Xichen for a while, and then I thought why not add this to my Eldritch!AU. So have Eldritch!lxc losing his shit over JC being hurt. (Yes, WWX knows, stay stuned for the fic tomorrow) Previous Part

One moment everything is alright.

Sandu is singing in Jiang Cheng’s hand while Zidian crackles in the other, and the last few remnants of those loyal to Jin Guangyao barely even get close to them. Jiang Cheng knows he and Lan Xichen won’t have much difficulties defeating them.

The next moment, everything is very much not alright.

There’s a sword sticking out of Jiang Cheng’s stomach. He didn’t see the man approach him from behind, he didn’t hear the singing of that sword and now he’s paying the price for it.

He let’s out a pained grunt before he jerks himself forward, dislodging the sword that was stuck through his back, and when he stumbles, he turns himself around, whipping Zidian in time with his stumbling and hitting the man square in the chest.

It’s the last thing he does, because he can’t seem to find his footing afterwards, and sinking down to the floor seems like the easier option.

“Xichen,” Jiang Cheng mutters, blood already staining his robes and the ground he’s kneeling on as he bends forward.

Together, they could have easily defeated these man. Jiang Cheng isn’t so sure Lan Xichen can manage on his own.

“Xichen,” he says louder, tries to bring attention to himself, so Lan Xichen knows his back is no longer protected, and Jiang Cheng can tell the exact moment Lan Xichen finally notices what happened.

There’s a shift and suddenly the whole clearing goes cold.

“Wanyin,” Lan Xichen breathes out and he rushes to his side, Jiang Cheng sees that much, before the world tilts and he drops onto his shoulder.

Laying down might be better than keeping himself up. There’s a coldness spreading out from his stomach, and Jiang Cheng presses his hand to the wound. He can feel the blood, hot and slick, seep through his fingers, but he knows it won’t be deadly. It can’t be.

He refuses to die.

“Wanyin,” Lan Xichen says again as he drops to his knees next to Jiang Cheng, hands outstretched and shaking, and Jiang Cheng manages something approaching a smile.

He’s not sure the blood in his mouth is helping.

“It’ll be alright,” Jiang Cheng gets out, and before Lan Xichen can protests, one of the men comes up behind him, sword raised and clearly certain that he gets to end Lan Xichen’s life then and there.

Not on Jiang Cheng’s watch.

“Careful,” Jiang Cheng rushes out and pushes himself up from the ground to slam his hand into Lan Xichen’s chest, pushing him out of the way of the descending sword.

He saved Lan Xichen, like he calculated. He did not calculate that the sword will bite into his own arm.

Jiang Cheng clenches his teeth so he doesn’t scream, but the pain in his arm is almost worse than the one in his stomach.

Lan Xichen stares at him with big, wide eyes, before everything seems to suddenly slow down. And then Lan Xichen explodes.

Jiang Cheng has never seen him change his form this quickly, this explosively, but in one moment Lan Xichen is still staring at him, and in the next there is a writhing, furious black in the clearing. Eyes appear all over Lan Xichen, so many more than Jiang Cheng is used to, and the sound that fills the air is pure and unadulterated rage.

Jiang Cheng was under the assumption that Lan Xichen, while not having a completely fixed form, has a fixed mass, but clearly he was wrong with that. Lan Xichen grows bigger and bigger, right in front of Jiang Cheng’s eyes, and it doesn’t seem to stop.

Jiang Cheng can hear the men scream in terror, can see more than one drop his sword and run away in fear, but none of them make it far.

Lan Xichen reaches out with his tentacles, crushes them with barely any effort at all, like it seems, and some he just slams into the ground, only to leave a barely recognizable mess behind. And all the while the sound gets louder and louder, making many of the men bend over in pain, hands clutched to their heads before at least two drop dead simply from the enraged shout Lan Xichen lets out.

It’s not much of a fair fight at all.

Jiang Cheng has barely pushed himself into a sitting position, arm cradled close to his stomach to at least slow the blood flow on both wounds, when the fight is already over and the last man dead.

Still, Lan Xichen continues to writhe in the clearing, tentacles lashing out at random, and Jiang Cheng is sure that more than one tree is taking some serious damage during this.

“Xichen,” he calls out, but he can barely hear his own voice over the continuous wrathful scream.

He tries to reach out for Lan Xichen, but he’s too far out of reach, even though Jiang Cheng is somewhat protectively surrounded on all sides, and Jiang Cheng very much does not feel like getting up, even though his core works furiously on keeping the wounds shut so he doesn’t die of blood loss.

“Jiang Cheng!” Wei Wuxian suddenly calls out right next to him and Jiang Cheng sighs when he sees Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji at his side. He didn’t even notice them arriving.

“Get him to calm down, would you!” Jiang Cheng snaps at Lan Wangji, hoping Lan Wangji can hear him over the noise, who levels him with a look but Jiang Cheng is beyond caring and just points an accusing finger at Lan Xichen. “He’s going to destroy this clearing!”

Lan Wangji leaves them after one last warning look at Jiang Cheng and going by the pressure change, Lan Wangji changed forms as well.

There’s a second, much more soothing noise filling the clearing and even Jiang Cheng can tell that it has a calming quality to it.

“Let’s get this looked at,” Wei Wuxian cheerfully says, and while Jiang Cheng is beyond glad that he can hear something else than Lan Xichen’s scream, he leans away from Wei Wuxian.

“Thanks, but I’ll wait for the healers in the Cloud Recesses,” Jiang Cheng tells him, completely immune by now to the pout Wei Wuxian sends him.

“You could die by then!” Wei Wuxian calls out, and Lan Xichen immediately grows agitated again, even going so far as to push Wei Wuxian away from Jiang Cheng as if he needed protecting from his own brother.

“Xichen,” Jiang Cheng tries again, now that Lan Xichen is a lot closer, and when he’s cradled close by one of the many tentacles, Jiang Cheng puts a soothing hand on him.

Lan Wangji appears next to Wei Wuxian again, in his human form and his hand on the hilt of Bichen, levelling Jiang Cheng with a look that can cut through ice.

“What?” Jiang Cheng snaps out, beyond tired that they really have to do this here, now, while he’s bleeding out and in pain.

“Do not touch him,” Lan Wangji threatens him and Jiang Cheng slides his hand possessively over Lan Xichen’s tentacle.

“Or what?” he demands to know, because he doubts Lan Xichen would even let Lan Wangji get close to him right now.

“Do not hurt him,” Lan Wangji changes tactics, and Jiang Cheng sighs.

Lan Xichen told him that Lan Wangji is apparently convinced that one day Jiang Cheng will kill them all for daring to be different, and while this is a conversation he is dying to have with Lan Wangji, he really cannot be bothered right now.

“Why don’t you just fuck off,” Jiang Cheng snaps at Lan Wangji, prompting Lan Xichen to push his own brother further away from Jiang Cheng.

And while Jiang Cheng is greatly enjoying that, he knows Lan Xichen will feel bad about that once he has a clear head again.

“Xichen,” Jiang Cheng tries again, and while this time at least his voice can be heard, Lan Xichen isn’t reacting to him at all.

“A-Huan,” he tries again, and that finally gets Lan Xichen to still.

He shrinks down to the size Jiang Cheng is used to and almost half of the eyes disappear as Lan Xichen wraps himself around Jiang Cheng, continuing to protect him from a danger that is no longer there.

“You’ve been a very good, protective monster, but now I need you to change back,” Jiang Cheng lowly tells him as he pets the tentacle around his middle, but Lan Xichen lets out a high whine that tells Jiang Cheng exactly what Lan Xichen thinks about leaving him defenceless.

“There’s nothing here that’s a danger to me, not anymore, you made sure of that,” Jiang Cheng says, and he blinks in surprise when Lan Xichen flinches.

“What?” Jiang Cheng mutters and he instinctively curls his good arm around Lan Xichen’s tentacle when he tries to retract it.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” he demands to know, but Lan Xichen only lets out the same sound again, so Jiang Cheng slaps him lightly.

“Change back and use your words,” he says with a stern glare, and he is entirely unimpressed when Lan Xichen doesn’t react to that at all.

Before Jiang Cheng can explode, he takes a deep breath, aggravating his stomach wound in the process again, and while it hurts like a bitch he’s rewarded when Lan Xichen comes closer to him again.

“A-Huan, I need you to change back to fly me to the Cloud Recesses. I need medical attention and I cannot fly my own sword,” Jiang Cheng tries, keeping his voice soothing and even and he knows he has won when a shudder goes through Lan Xichen’s form.

He still fights the change for a while longer, but in the end, Jiang Cheng is held close by a very human Lan Xichen.

“I’m sorry,” he mutters, and Jiang Cheng frowns up at him.

“For what?” he demands to know and Lan Xichen doesn’t meet his eyes.

Jiang Cheng doesn’t like it.

“That you had to see that. That I lost control like this. I don’t—” Lan Xichen trails off and Jiang Cheng blinks in surprise at him.

“You think I’m afraid of you?” he incredulously asks, because he can damn well fill in the blanks, and Lan Xichen’s eyes snap to his.

It’s all the answer he needs.

“You think I wouldn’t lose my entire shit if you were hurt?” Jiang Cheng presses out. “Just because you turn into a bigger and badder version of yourself doesn’t mean I wouldn’t act in the same way, just on a smaller scale.”

“I killed them all,” Lan Xichen mutters and Jiang Cheng looks around the clearing.

They are all very much dead, yes.

“And good riddance,” Jiang Cheng harshly gives back and then raises his good arm to cradle Lan Xichen’s cheek in his hand. “I am not afraid of you and I am not judging you. Now, please, can you get me to a healer, I do feel a bit faint,” Jiang Cheng says and suddenly Lan Xichen becomes animated again.

“Of course, my heart,” he says as he carefully picks Jiang Cheng up from the ground, cradling him close to his chest as he steps onto Shuoyue.

Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian are still watching them, Jiang Cheng can tell, but he barely spares them a glance. He cannot tear his eyes off Lan Xichen.

There’s not a hair out of place, no blood marring his features, even though the clearing looks like a giant decided to dig it over. Jiang Cheng knows, rationally, that he should be afraid of Lan Xichen and what he is, what he can do, but even now, he cannot bring himself to do that.

Lan Xichen did this to protect him and Jiang Cheng cannot find it in him to mind that.

“Wake me when we’re there, okay?” Jiang Cheng mutters as he rests his head on Lan Xichen’s shoulders.

His golden core kept him together until now, but Jiang Cheng can feel it being drained, knows that the pain and the blood loss will finally get to him, and he’d rather be not awake for that.

“No no no, my love, you have to stay awake,” Lan Xichen whispers, pressing kisses to his forehead. “No sleeping until we reach the Cloud Recesses.”

“Tired now.”

“You can sleep later, I promise, but right now you have to stay awake,” Lan Xichen says, and it’s the pure panic in his voice that forces Jiang Cheng to open his eyes again.

“You’re a menace,” Jiang Cheng complains and while Lan Xichen still seems strained and worried, he smiles down at him.

“Tell me all about it,” Lan Xichen cajoles and Jiang Cheng narrows his eyes at him.

He knows exactly what Lan Xichen is doing.

“You’re rude for not letting me sleep, and stupid for thinking I would be afraid of you, and idiotic for thinking I don’t love you more than my life, and also rude,” Jiang Cheng says, though he’s aware he’s babbling more than forming actual sentences.

“For not letting you sleep, noted,” Lan Xichen gives back with a chuckle and then they are already descending.

“Time to sleep then,” Jiang Cheng mutters and snuggles closer to Lan Xichen.

This time, the darkness claims him.

~*~*~

When Jiang Cheng wakes up, he’s in the hanshi, Lan Xichen hovering at his side and generally looking like he didn’t sleep at all in the last however many days it has been.

“You’re an idiot,” Jiang Cheng says with a groan and Lan Xichen nods.

“And rude, I remember,” he immediately says and Jiang Cheng smiles.

“Good,” he gives back and then holds his hand out for Lan Xichen to take. “I’m okay.”

“I was scared,” Lan Xichen lowly says as he presses a kiss to Jiang Cheng’s palm.

“I could tell,” Jiang Cheng says with a nod and cups Lan Xichen’s face when he seems worried by that. “And I don’t mind,” Jiang Cheng says, again if memory serves him right.

He tries to push himself up, but pain laces sharp and bright through him and he falls back onto the bed with a hiss.

Lan Xichen shoots up from his stool and Jiang Cheng can tell that his control seems to still hang on a very thin thread, because there are definitely tentacles coming out of his back.

“I’m okay,” Jiang Cheng says again, because he’s not dead, and really, that’s all that matters.

“You might have not been,” Lan Xichen gives back, and Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes at him.

If they dealt in might have’s and could have’s they would both lose their sanity.

“But I am, and thanks to you,” Jiang Cheng tells him, his voice leaving no room for argument. “What’s the damage?”

“Stab wound in the stomach, deep cut on your arm. You’ll heal up just fine, I’ve been told, as long as you keep to your rest,” Lan Xichen informs him and Jiang Cheng smiles at him.

“I very much feel like standing up. Maybe I need someone to make sure I stay in bed,” he teasingly says and he really hates the surprised look on Lan Xichen’s face.

They had already been past this uncertainty on Lan Xichen’s part, and Jiang Cheng will not allow it to come back.

“And by someone I mean you, and preferably not in your human form,” he clearly states and Lan Xichen ducks his head.

“Are you sure?” he asks and Jiang Cheng sighs.

“Are you going to deny the patient the one thing that will make sure he heals up just fine?”

“The one thing?” Lan Xichen asks, confusion clear on his face and Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes.

“My boyfriend and his many many very good at hugging tentacles,” he gives back and Lan Xichen huffs out a laugh.

“You’re shameless,” Lan Xichen whispers, but he’s getting up and Jiang Cheng knows he has won.

“Shamelessly in love maybe,” he says with a shrug, because what does he care about anything else but Lan Xichen by his side.

“I love you, too,” Lan Xichen says and catches his lips in a soft, slow kiss, before he slides under the covers with Jiang Cheng.

He doesn’t change, not completely, but there are a few tentacles coming out to wrap around Jiang Cheng, causing him to go boneless against Lan Xichen’s chest.

“This is the best,” Jiang Cheng mutters as his eyes already drift shut.

He has a lot of sleeping to do, and with Lan Xichen wrapped securely and warmly around him, it’s easy to get started on that right away.

Next part

[amethystshipper]

I was scrolling through my dash, as one does, and saw .gifs of the scene where the juniors are defending WWX to Sect leader Yao, and I was just smiling and thinking “ah, the kids are all right this time, it will be better”. And then I realized that ... the kids were all right the previous generation, too? And it would have been so easy to see them band together, especially after everything?

Hear me out. In essence, there’s no difference between the juniors and the ... OG juniors. (We need a name for them. Is there a name for that generation??? Cause we have the parents, and we have the juniors, what are WWX&co named??? Whatever, I’m sticking with OG juniors.) Each of these groups went through shitty situations, the OGs arguably through worse with the war and all. But before the war, we have 2 major bonding moments: the Cloud Recesses classes, and the Wen indoctrination. What if they actually bonded together, and their relationships were more flushed out? (Keep in mind I only saw the live-action drama, so that’s what I’m basing everything on.)

So, Cloud Recesses. You have the Jiangs, and then NSH, LWJ, WN and WQ added to the group, more or less willingly. JZX is still being a little bitch, but whatever, he’s there too, along with MianMian, who is arguably his biggest contribution. I will admit, there are ... levels ... of closeness. But you have the three gremlins getting together, and LWJ pulled in (again, levels), you have star-struck WN and tough WQ (who, need I remind you, took care of JYL at least once, which I bet the latter will not forget). You have LQR spitting blood because the boy is definitely his mother’s son, but LXC smiling indulgently, seeing his little brother finally make friends. (And LQR will remember that CSR was mischief made human form, and her son definitely follows in her footsteps, but both of them wanted always to help and not destroy, so there is definitely something wrong with the accusations that WWX wants to take over the world. And LXC will remember the Wen boy who stayed behind to save one of their own, and the Wei boy who dived in to help them both, and will not believe the grim tales of the fierce Ghost General and the Yiling Patriarch.)

After CR, WWX/LWJ/JC/NHS have their little murder adventure, with a WQ cameo.  LWJ is added to the gremlin dynamic and sure, he might not feel like he fits in at first, but WWX cannot seem to stay away from him, and he suffers in silence with JC while WWX is being an idiot and risking his life, omg, stop that, get down you demented cat, and then finds that there’s a certain bond little brothers with big brothers larger-than-life have, and maybe having two more friends is. Acceptable. They’re all supposed to be 15-16 at this point, teenage boys that started this adventure fully confident, at least on the outside. And then Xue Yang happens. And this is, I think, one of the biggest turning point for these four. Because, to a certain degree, all of them rely on rules. Their own, if nothing else. And here is a guy who just ... wants to see the world burn. He kills with no remorse, admits it gleefully, and is just awful in so many ways. This is their first brush with how brutal the outside world is, when they start to doubt themselves and their convictions. But then! XXC and SL appear, and it’s a breath of fresh air! Because there are terrible people and worse situations, but as long as they hold fast in their beliefs and work together and trust eachother, they can beat them!

So they go to the Unclean Realm, and they meet Daddy NMJ. And he’s been watching them approach, and he sees his little brother laughing with the boy in black, he sees him cackling while the one in purple is swinging his fists around; he sees him share a smile with Xichen’s little brother while the other two are laughing so hard they’re bent over so far they’re almost falling to the ground. And he doesn’t show it, because the Red Blade Master is gruff, and tough, and mighty, but in his heart he’s already adopted these kids who include his baby brother in their circle with so much ease, it’s hard to imagine him on the outside. (And in the future, when people are yelling about WWX’s darkness, this is the image he will have in his head: four boys being innocent and happy and his, how dare you try to touch them?!)

Cloud Recesses burns. LXC is nowhere. And then. The biggest paradigm shift - the indoctrination. Everyone arrives in Nightless City. The three OG gremlins watch LWJ back to his jade statue default, they lose their swords, they are on the same side with JZX and WWX/JC don’t know which one of these frustrates them more. It should be the looming war. It’s probably the JZX part. Now, I assume they spend at least a few weeks there, I don’t remember if it’s mentioned. But WWX always tried to get in front, to catch WC’s attention. (Because he’s the disposable one, right? High enough in status that WC is satisfied when he gets to punish him, but not a sect heir, not someone who will bring down a whole sect if he dies. Little does he know.) So don’t tell me that the others don’t rally around him. (Discreetly of course. They learn fast that he just gets more protective if others are hurt because of him.) There’s nothing stronger than a common enemy, and the Wens and WC, specifically, are definitely that. So they watch, and they remember WWX being beaten, whipped, humiliated, all so that others will not be. Not to mention that one night that he doesn’t tell even JC about, because it would crush his little brother to know he couldn’t keep his promise. They remember him staying behind so that they have a chance to escape the murder turtle. (And after the war, when the adults will try to damn WWX for being too arrogant and too prideful, the OG juniors will remember the kid who stood up to the Wen clan and has the scars to prove it, and all to protect them. Where was Jin Guangshan? Where was Sect leader Yao?)

Lotus pier burns. WWX disappears. JC and LWJ look for him for 3 months. And then. And then he comes back. And he burns the Sun to the ground, using dark cultivation and corpses and no sword, and everything that they were taught not to do, ever. And he succeeds where everyone else fails.

Afterwards, when the dust settles but not really, when life comes back to normal but not quite, when things become too boring apparently, the young ones see their elders muttering. And gossip. And look a bit too much at WWX, too closely. But this was a generation forged in the fires of war. They were not like their parents, who had time to figure out their shit and then go to battle, no. They were kids when it all started. There are no more kids amongst them now.

So when the minor sect leaders, subtly encouraged by JGS and JGY, talk about the “young” LC being a leader at such a young age with honeyed words that hide rot, NMJ and LXC rise to his defense. Both of them became sect leaders at young ages, both of them know how hard it is. LQR rises as well and the older ones expect him to be on their side, but they forget LQR got entrusted with a clan and 2 children that he was not supposed to have, so he will never demean another who was in an even worse position, but rose to the occasion despite everything that happened. The Lans promote knowledge and learning above all, and many people can learn a lot from Sandu Shengshou, wouldn’t you agree Sect leader Yao?

When the Jin sect complains about the Stygian Tiger Seal, rumors begin to spread from behind hand painted fans that they are after the artifacts of other sects. After all, does WWX not belong to YungmengJiang? Therefore, do his creations not belong to the sect as well? Who’s to say they won’t go after the treasures of the other sects next?

When JYL destroys Jin Zixun at Phoenix Mountain, JZX steps up to the plate and stands behind his fiancee. WWX is obviously her little brother that she cares deeply about, he will be his future brother-in-law, and honestly Zixun where were you even during the war?? You have demands now because?? Go shoot some arrows and chill. (JC is just standing there with crossed arms, looking at Jin Zixun without blinking, keeping a tight grip over Zidian who is the definition of  “lemme at him!!!” Jiejie doesn’t like it when he slices and dices people, although she’s not leaving much for him to chew on. It’s the most fun he’s had in years.)

When JGY sweetly suggest that there might be a viper poised to strike them in the back, NHS innocently asks “but San-Ge, didn’t your blow to WRH’s back help us win the war?” (NMJ has never loved his brother more than when he roasts JGY. Really, he could cry with pride. Here, A-Sang, there’s that fan you wanted. I ordered new birdcages to be build back home, you can have all the birds you want. Training is ... postponed.)

When news about the labor camps and the slaughtered Wens are revealed, many stay silent. A few of them cheer. But there are also a few that remember a boy willing to save someone from drowning, willing to risk his life to save the dead bodies of two parents. They remember the best doctor of their generation helping them heal, and rest, and save their loved ones. They remember that they are not the only children who were taken by this war, that they were not the only ones forced to make awful choices that haunt their dreams. They remember that it’s easy to stand back, but yet there was always one who stood up for the others, who would stand up for them, so how can they not stand with him now when he most need it?

WWX is not alone. The YungmengJiang clan is not alone. These kids went through hell and back in the past couple of years, and they will be damned if they will let another rise in WRH’s place. This ends now.

[robininthelabyrinth]

Prompt: what if jc was lxc's age (and jyl maybe 2 or 3 years older) and wwx was lwj's/nhs' age when he was brought to lotus pier? (Or anything that involves a much bigger age gap bw the jiang sibs and wwx - where wwx is babey)

Untamed

“You know what,” Jiang Cheng said to his sister, who looked at him. “I’ve changed my mind. I’m not marrying a woman.”

Jiang Yanli’s lips started twitching uncontrollably and she hid her smile behind her sleeve. “Oh?”

“Nope. I’m going to marry Chifeng-zun.”

“On the basis of…?”

“If you take two adult men in charge of two Great Sects,” Jiang Cheng said, doing his utmost best to keep a straight face, “with all the power we can generate between us, we might – maybe – have a chance at disciplining our baby brothers.”

Jiang Yanli burst out laughing.

“There, there. It’s all right,” he said, grinning, reaching out to pat her on the shoulder. “You can join us if you’d like. There’s enough room in Qinghe for two wives.”

“We are not both running away to Qinghe,” she said, giggling. “A-Cheng!”

“What? I think it’s a great idea. If our parents want us back, they can negotiate with Chifeng-zun for it – may they have more luck than they had with the whole medicinal herb debacle.”

“A-Cheng, I am officially tabling this idea,” Jiang Yanli said, still snorting. “Older sibling privilege.”

“I let you out of the womb first as a matter of courtesy,” Jiang Cheng sniffed. “And now you use it against me? A-Li, how could you?”

“Call me jiejie! It doesn’t matter how much older, a few shichen or a few years, older is still older.”

“You probably elbowed me with those sharp pointy things you have on your arms. Weapons of war.”

“Older is older!” she sang. “Now tell me, what did A-Xian do this time?”

“Would you like it in chronological order, or in order of severity? I can also group it by theme, if you prefer.”

“Oh no,” Jiang Yanli said, covering her eyes. “Oh no.”

“And the chief-most theme,” Jiang Cheng said, continuing anyway, “is still called Lan Wangji.”

“Oh no!”

“He has the worst crush,” Jiang Cheng said, shaking his head with endless amusement. “And he just – refuses to admit it. ‘Nooooo, shixiong, we’re just friends, he can’t even stand me most of the time, he’s always trying to get me in trouble, but sometimes he lets me sit next to him and spend time with him and he’s so handsome and I really just want to make him laugh –’”

“We have,” Jiang Yanli said thoughtfully, “raised an idiot.”

“He was fine when we got him,” Jiang Cheng disagreed. “We have spoiled an idiot.”

“This is true. Maybe we should go form a mutual complaining society with Chifeng-zun; isn’t his little brother also an idiot?”

“Oh, you have no idea,” Jiang Cheng said. “Worse: they’ve teamed up. Nie Huaisang buys Wei Wuxian porn now.”

“Oh no…”

“In return for help cheating on his tests!”

“Oh no!”

“So that’s why I’m going to marry Chifeng-zun,” Jiang Cheng concluded. “Our parents may be disappointed by my decision, but with our powers combined, we might be able to save the world from our respective younger idiots.”

“Maybe,” she said, and shook her head. “A-Cheng – about our parents…”

Jiang Cheng shook his head as well, echoing her action but more in denial. It wasn’t anyone’s fault that she took after their father and he took after their mother, that she was born a shichen prior to midnight and he a shichen after and their personalities completely different as a result; it was no one’s fault that their parents didn’t get along, with their mother disdaining what she perceived as Jiang Yanli’s passiveness and lack of passion and their father despising Jiang Cheng’ prickly temper and difficulty communicating his affection without scolding.

It certainly wasn’t Wei Wuxian’s fault for being younger and more brilliant, talented at everything he did and with just the sort of personality their father liked best – the combination of his former best friend and the girl he’d once thought of marrying – and that he’d always made that preference very clear to everyone, even to their mother who often worried that her husband would dispossess her children in favor of his foundling and who lashed out at everyone in response.

That had hurt – hurt a lot, even, and Jiang Cheng was soft and sensitive underneath all his defensive layers, but any time he got angry over it he would look at Wei Wuxian, their little A-Xian, baby Xianxian, who adored his older siblings more than anything and was adored in return, and he forced himself to get over it. He was old enough, by the time Wei Wuxian arrived, to know to whom the blame really belonged.

“I spoke with Nie Huaisang while I was at the Cloud Recesses,” Jiang Cheng said in an undertone, one reserved just for his sister. “He’s asked me to pass along a message to his brother, the next time I go night-hunting, about the whole debacle – he’s so terribly apologetic, you understand, he couldn’t wait for the post – if we get to Qinghe by tomorrow, Chifeng-zun will be able to get to Gusu in time to intervene before our father does something wretched like cancel your engagement and take A-Xian home early from his studies.”

“The engagement I wouldn’t mind,” she remarked. “If Jin Zixuan feels so strongly about it that he’d get into a fistfight with A-Xian, it’s better not to marry, no matter what our mother might think. But on no account is A-Xian to be sent home early! He needs his education!”

Unsaid was everything else he needed, things he could get better at the Cloud Recesses than anywhere else.

“Then we go?”

“We go,” she agreed. Between the two of them, Jiang Cheng had more talent at cultivation, but she was steadier, even in her overall mediocrity: when the two of them flew on a sword together, they could make it much further and faster than anyone expected.

Qinghe wasn’t really close enough for a quick jaunt – they flew all night without stopping – but Chifeng-zun was amendable to their scheme, jumping at once onto his saber and making his way straight to Gusu. A waste of spiritual energy all around, really, but far faster than their father would move, with his Sect Leader’s dignity and retinue, rushing to the Cloud Recesses to save his precious little Wei Wuxian from having any connections in life that weren’t to the Jiang sect, and the Jiang sect alone. 

And never mind how much he needed those connections: needed to have friends his own age, needed to have more time with that crush of his, needed independence and freedom and everything the Jiang sect supposedly stood for - needed for them to support him and act as the foundation beneath his feet, rather than the chains tying him down to earth.

Chifeng-zun – who was only a few years older than they were – was really a very understanding person, getting the problem at once and immediately agreeing with their view on things. Perhaps there really was something to be said about the difference in generations…

“Let me show you to rooms where you can rest,” Chifeng-zun’s aide said, a slender young man with a polite smile on his face as he saluted. “I’ll arrange for refreshments as well.”

“We hate to trouble you, but in all honesty you are a lifesaver,” Jiang Yanli said to him warmly, and he unexpectedly flushed red at the cheeks. “A-Cheng, let’s follow this handsome young man and rest a while before we return to the Lotus Pier.”

The young man was blushing.

“What’s your name?” Jiang Cheng asked, and the blush faded away at once as the man paled a little: it would be one he expected them to recognize, then, and not in a good way.

“This one is Meng Yao,” he said, and saluted again even though he’d already saluted once before, and Jiang Yanli’s eyes flickered to Jiang Cheng’s very briefly before she caught his arms and raised him up.

“I’ve heard of you. Smart and talented enough to get Chifeng-zun’s attention, even so far as becoming his personal deputy - you must be brilliant. Truly, you deserve a better father,” she told him, and he stared up at her, dumbstruck.

“Don’t mind her,” Jiang Cheng said. “She’s trying out this new thing in which she says everything she feels without thinking first.”

She elbowed him. “And isn’t it your fault?” she asked snappishly. “You’re the one who needs to speak your mind more; I’m just modeling good behavior!”

If she’d been older than him – really older, rather than just a few shichen – maybe she would have held her tongue more and played the role of the peacekeeper, trying to protect him from his father’s indifference the way she had tried to when they were both younger, just as he had tried to distract his mother from her with his hard-fought accomplishments. It wasn’t until they had little Wei Wuxian to spoil and care for, a joint task that required both of their attention, that they realized that splitting their forces like that was pointless and self-defeating: it wasn’t actually helping that Jiang Yanli suppressed so much of her spirit until she felt like little more than a reflective mirror with no content, nor that Jiang Cheng nearly worked himself to death trying to prove that he was worthy of his father’s love and respect that he would never receive, and it never would.

So they stopped.

They were trying very hard to stop, anyway.

“You’re very kind,” Meng Yao murmured, and led them to their rooms.

The moment he closed the door behind him, Jiang Yanli turned to Jiang Cheng and said, “I’ve changed my mind about your plan – we can run away to Qinghe. You marry Chifeng-zun, and I’ll marry that charming boy out there.”

There was an audible thudding sound from the corridor outside, as if someone had accidentally walked into a wall, and they both grinned at each other.

“Mother would kill you,” he warned her in an undertone.

“And being married to someone who disdains me enough to fight over my worthlessness in public wouldn’t?” she retorted, smiling even though her expression was tinged with pain: if she had one ambition in life, it was to never become their mother. “The marriage agreement might have been forged by our mothers, but the text of it says ‘the Jin sect leader’s son to the Jiang sect leader’s daughter’. Why can’t I marry him?”

“He hasn’t been acknowledged.”

“Only technically. Everyone knows he’s the real deal, or else his father wouldn’t have made such a fuss about it.”

“But –”

“Anyway, he must be a good man, or Chifeng-zun wouldn’t have promoted him.”

“I don’t know about that,” Jiang Cheng said. “Chifeng-zun doesn’t have the sense of self-preservation the heavens bestowed on a lemming.”

There was a vaguely audible snort from outside their door. It seemed Meng Yao, at least, had the good sense not to leave guests in his house unattended, and no discrimination against the very useful business of listening at doors.

He also had a sense of humor, which was good given Jiang Yanli’s newfound ambitions in his regard.

“Yes, well, I wasn’t saying I’d elope with him tomorrow or anything,” she sniffed, eyes dancing. “Give him some time to prove himself to me.”

Jiang Cheng couldn’t help but smile back. “That’s true,” he said, raising his voice a little. “At Chifeng-zun’s side, he’ll be able to make a name for himself until the whispers all say that his father was an idiot for keeping him away.”

“And if even that doesn’t work, I’ll marry him in and make him help me run the Jiang sect,” she said cheerfully. “Who needs Lanling Jin?”

“Wait, since when are you inheriting the Jiang sect?”

“I’m older! And anyway, aren’t you marrying Chifeng-zun? That means you’ll be away helping run his sect, and that leaves an opening at home for me.”

“…huh. Good point.”

“Maybe you can just swap places with Meng Yao,” she said, starting to giggle again. “And we can all see how long it takes anyone to notice…”

“Our parents might not,” Jiang Cheng said dryly. “But Chifeng-zun would. If only because I have my sights set on his bed, and I don’t think Meng Yao does.”

“You don’t know that; everyone wants Chifeng-zun. Maybe you have competition.”

“Better to have competition than be oblivious. Do you want to hear the whole story about A-Xian and Lan Wangji’s tragic mutual pining disaster? Xichen-xiong told me all the details he’s been leaving out of his letters.”

“Tell me everything!”

[ibijau]

I guess the question I have for the nhs is a half demon au is: what reason are we going to give for lxc to marry him after he comes back from visiting his mom? Also is he going to save wwx?

wwx did well for himself while nhs was off to live his little demon life, but he is the first person nhs visits upon returning among humans, because he's heard some concerning rumours...

On AO3

Small feet ran to the entrance of the cave, only slowing down at the very last moment and stopping just shy of actually coming in.

“Xian-gege, there’s a person at the gate,” Wen Yuan announced, careful to not actually shout.

Wei Wuxian smiled to himself, proud as always of this most excellent young boy he was helping raise, who obeyed rules much better than Wei Wuxian himself had ever done in his life.

“What sort of person?” Wei Wuxian asked, still hunched over his latest prototype. He was getting somewhere with this, he knew it. He just had to figure out how to…

“It’s an odd person,” Wen Yuan announced. “He says he’s here to see you.”

That was hardly news. Most of the visitors they'd had these last five years had come to the Burial Mounds to see Wei Wuxian. Sometimes, Lan Xichen would also come to see his brother and give them money. And in recent months, some people from the area had started coming to see Wen Qing in hopes she might cure them. But still, people mostly came for Wei Wuxian, either because they wanted to kill him, or because they wanted to join him. Either way, they were usually rejected.

“Did that man give his name?”

“He didn’t,” Wen Yuan announced, sounding indignant that anyone would be so rude. “He says you have to come see him, and then you’ll know him, and you’ll let him in. He sounded very sure.”

That intrigued Wei Wuxian enough to make him look up from his work and walk up to join Wen Yuan. A lot of people knew him, but there weren’t that many he knew, few of which would be sure to be allowed on the Burial Mounds, fewer still who would wish to be there at all. Jiang Cheng was the only person that came to mind, but he’d been around a few times in the years since Wei Wuxian had left Yunmeng Jiang, and Wen Yuan knew him well. Who else, then?

“That man, did he have any trouble walking?”

Wen Yuan shook his head. So it couldn’t be Jin Zixuan then. With his wooden leg, the climb to the gate would have been difficult anyway, and he would not have come unannounced.

“What did he look like?” Wei Wuxian asked, growing puzzled enough to consider meeting the stranger.

“He has a nice face, but it’s weird because of his eyes,” Wen Yuan said. “And he’s dressed with very good fabric, even better than Jiang-gege. And there’s a lot of teeth when he smiles.”

Without a word, Wei Wuxian started walking, with Wen Yuan following him. He didn’t like that description at all. He had hardly met him personally, but he’d heard about that boy in the Jin sect, that Xue Yang who was apparently trying to reproduce some of Wei Wuxian’s creations, with some success. He had an odd smile, Lan Xichen had said once when talking about him, so maybe…

“Oh, and there’s one more thing,” Wen Yuan said, slapping the side of his head. “I should have said first! But he has a mark on his forehead, it’s very red and looks a bit like a flame.”

Wei Wuxian froze.

“Xian-gege?”

“Go get Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian ordered. “Tell him there’s an emergency and I need him at the gate immediately. Wen Ning too. And tell Wen Qing to take everyone else to the hideout. No matter what, none of you are coming out until we come to get you. Go! Now!”

Frightened to see him so serious, Wen Yuan didn’t ask any question and scampered away as fast as his legs would take him. Wei Wuxian for his part hurried toward the gate after having made sure he had everything he’d need for a fight, knowing thing might turn vicious if he was right. He cursed as he walked, and hoped to be wrong about the identity of their visitor.

When he reached the gate and saw the man standing there, Wei Wuxian almost believed for a second that he’d been wrong indeed. The stranger, who had his back to the gate, was too tall, his shoulders too broad. But then, hearing that someone was approaching, the man turned to look at Wei Wuxian, and there was no mistake possible.

“Wei-xiong, it’s been a while,” Nie Huaisang said, smiling as if they were old friends who hadn’t seen each other for a few years. “You look worse than I remembered, but better than I expected.”

“Nie-xiong, it’s pretty bold of you to come here after what you’ve done,” Wei Wuxian retorted. “Couldn’t you have made it easier for everyone and stayed dead?”

Nie Huaisang's smile got wider, showing just a little more teeth than a mortal's would have. He looked better than he'd done last time Wei Wuxian had seen him. Healthier and a lot more confident. And why not? Last they'd been around each other, Nie Huaisang had been terrified someone might try to kill him, but he'd now proved just how difficult that would be.

“I would have, but some news reached me that forced me to rejoin the human world after all these years. Wei-xiong, won’t you let me in?”

“I hope you understand why I’d rather not. You have a history of slaughtering people I’d rather not see repeated.”

Nie Huaisang frowned and pinched his lips, looking almost sincerely hurt by the reminder of his past deeds.

“I’ve been told your shijie recovered,” he said in a softer tone, sounding more like the boy Wei Wuxian had studied with in Gusu. “And that Jin Zixuan too is… well, he’s alive, right? Don’t they even have a son?”

“They’re both doing as well as they can, no thanks to you.”

Again, Nie Huaisang looked wounded by the accusation. Wei Wuxian remembered how his old friend had been after the reveal of his true nature, the way he’d desperately tried to hide what he was, the terror he’d expressed in every letter they had exchanged… Still, what had been done couldn’t be changed, and Wei Wuxian hadn’t survived this long by trusting just anyone.

If anything, it was Nie Huaisang’s example who had taught him to be wary.

“Wei-xiong, you remember when we were in the Cloud Recesses together, and we made realgar wine a little before you were kicked out?” Nie Huaisang suddenly asked and though surprised by the change of topic, Wei Wuxian nodded. “All the other Nie disciples with us were quite stunned,” Nie Huaisang reminisced with a sad smile. “They’d never seen me drunk before. It’s a skill I’ve always had, though nobody at home really knew why. I can eat anything, drink anything, and never get sick… anything but realgar, which affects me badly, I’ve found since.”

Without thinking, Wei Wuxian nodded again. Realgar was used to ward off evil, and it was said to have a particularly strong effect on demons. That particular time, Nie Huaisang had only had one small sip because he’d found the smell of realgar wine unpleasant, and just that single sip had made him violently sick, and so irritable he'd bitten Jiang Cheng who'd only wanted to check on him… though of course most people would be in a bad mood after vomiting that much. At the time, none of them had thought there was anything odd with that.

Yet if he’d had more wine than that, Nie Huaisang might have died, or attacked his friends.

“It wasn’t the time of year for realgar wine,” Wei Wuxian noted, feeling himself grow more curious than angry. “So find a better excuse.”

“It wasn’t the season for it, and I didn’t notice the difference in smell,” Nie Huaisang agreed. “But the person who helped me recover from my wounds assured me that my blood was tainted by realgar, and I’ve learned since that there are ways to cover the taste, or to increase the effect. And Jin Zixun was ever so insistent on making me drink that day. Funny, when we’d never been close. Or indeed when I had been promised that he wouldn’t be there, since I didn’t much care for him.”

It was something that had always puzzled them indeed. Not just Wei Wuxian, but Lan Wangji too, and even Jin Zixuan and Jiang Yanli when they’d had a chance to speak about that. As far as everyone had known, Jin Zixun had been in hiding at that time, terrified that Wei Wuxian might try to kill him for what he’d done to Wen Ning and his family. And Jin Zixun had been quite vocal regarding what he thought should be done to Nie Huaisang, too.

Odd that he’d come to a Night Hunt where were present not only Wei Wuxian’s beloved shijie, but also the terrifying demon that terrorized everyone.

It sounded a lot braver than Jin Zixun had ever been known to be.

“It’s easy to blame a dead man,” Wei Wuxian remarked.

“And it’s easy to blame a demon,” Nie Huaisang retorted. “Especially for someone who’d have the demon’s trust. Funny also how this incident ensured that Qinghe Nie became isolated and despised, just when it was considered the one sect which might have stood against Lanling Jin’s ambitions.”

Wei Wuxian shrugged. He’d personally also profited quite a bit from this conflict between the Nies and the Jins.

It had distracted everyone from what he was doing in Yiling. By the time the Jins had emerged fully victorious from that political battle, Wei Wuxian’s presence in the Burial Mound had been secure, while the Jins had been too busy securing their new power to think of attacking him. Besides, with him no longer part of Yunmeng Jiang and thus not involved in politics, and with his actions having made it clear that he wasn’t a threat, everyone had found it easier to leave him alone. Sometimes someone would still wonder if he should be annihilated, but a few words from Lan Xichen or Jiang Cheng seemed to usually be enough to put an end to that, at least for now.

Everyone might start thinking differently if he associated with a demon though.

“Supposing I believe you,” Wei Wuxian said, and he was ready enough to believe Nie Huaisang, demon or not. “I’m not sure what I can do for you.”

“Don’t think of it as you doing something for me, Wei-xiong. Think of it as the two of us teaming up to protect our families. You see, demons gossip just as much as mortals do, and I’ve been hearing a few worrying things while living with them. There’s a reason I know your shijie has a son, you see.”

Wei Wuxian shivered, but before he could ask for details, Wen Ning and Lan Wangji arrived at last. They were both stunned to see Nie Huaisang, though Lan Wangji had to be the more shocked of the two, since he would actually recognise the young man, while Wen Ning had never met him before.

Smiling faintly, Nie Huaisang bowed elegantly to the two newcomers, as if this were but an ordinary meeting between old friends.

“Lan gongzi, I did not expect you had really come to live here!” Nie Huaisang exclaimed with something like real joy. “I suppose gossip these days carries more truth than I’d have expected.”

“Fine, I’ll bite,” Wei Wuxian said. “What have you heard about my shijie and her son?”

“Let me come in,” Nie Huaisang replied. “And then we can talk.”

It felt like a trap, and maybe it was one.

Even after having disappeared for years, Nie Huaisang knew Wei Wuxian’s weaknesses. It had been a mistake perhaps to write to him back then, to confide in him, to stay his friend when the rest of the world shunned him… but Wei Wuxian too had needed a friend after the Sunshot Campaign, and Nie Huaisang had never judged him for what he’d done, not even before his demon blood was revealed.

This was a mistake.

And yet, Wei Wuxian opened the gate.

[i-like-plan-m]

LOVE THE NEW SOF CHAPTER. Can we please have the next chapter be the recovery and NMJ sitting wwx down to explain Why That Was Not Okay and You Do Not Owe Us Anything, Let Alone Be Expendable Holy Shit I Would Literally Cut Off Heads For You WTF. Wwx needs it. Also NMJ and WWX recovering together and LXC IS THERE BECAUSE HEALER! throw in lwj too let those two be coddled by Lan mother henning and let NHS fuss and bitch and Mengyao deal with the fact that this is his life now.

Like this? :)

[Ao3]

___________

He woke, and his first thought was of Wei Wuxian. 

Nie Mingjue peeled his eyes open, dismayed at the effort it took from him. He recognized his room-- the wide window casting the first rays of dawn across his face, Xichen’s scent lingering on the pillow beside him, the scorch marks on the wall where Wei Wuxian had once tried to use a fire talisman to kill a bug. 

He heard soft breaths by his bed, and for a long moment was too afraid to look, too afraid to go searching for his little brother and not ever find him again. 

He did not think he could survive losing anyone else.

Nie Mingjue was many things, but he was not a coward. He braced himself for heartbreak, turning his head in slow degrees towards the unmoving shape curled up in a chair in the corner. He could not tell if they were A-Sang’s dark green or A-Xian’s black robes. 

Pain demanded his attention, a razor-sharp ache in his ribs that made every breath both a monumental effort and an instant regret. He felt layered bandages enveloping his torso beneath the blankets, wrapped firmly for the broken ribs and the deep gouges on his chest left behind by the demon. 

He sat, so slowly that the sun had nearly risen in full before he managed to be completely upright. The gnawing pain made his vision go black, but he stubbornly fought his fading consciousness until he was able to see again. 

He rose slowly to his feet, a hand braced on the wall for support. His joints cracked and there was a stiffness in his body that made him wonder how long he’d been unconscious. 

He took a single, tiny step forwards and had to pause to blink back the tears of pain that rose unbidden to his eyes. 

And then the door opened, the figure in the shadowy corner startled awake, and Nie Mingjue felt one of the scabs on his chest crack open and bleed. 

“What are you doing?” Huaisang said, indignant. “You’re supposed to be in bed!” 

A-Sang was by the door, which meant…

Wei Wuxian yelped when Nie Mingjue grabbed him by the front of the robes and hauled him in, crushing him into a suffocating hug as tears of relief threatened to escape. He cupped his brother’s head with one hand, the other arm tight as a vise around his shoulders. 

Wei Wuxian pressed his face into Nie Mingjue’s shoulder and trembled. 

“Never again,” Nie Mingjue said harshly. “Do you hear me, A-Xian? Don’t you ever do something like that again.” 

“But you were going to--” 

“You are not replaceable,” he thundered. 

He heard a mutinous, “Neither are you,” mumbled into his shoulder and resisted the urge to shake his brother, if only because any more movement would probably make him pass out. 

“Da-ge,” Huaisang threatened, appearing at his side with a murderous look in his eyes. “The healer said you are not to move a muscle until you are fully healed.” 

“So she did,” Nie Zonghui said from the door. Nie Mingjue glanced at him, noting the dark circles beneath his friend’s eyes and the stark relief on his smiling face. 

“I’m fine,” he said. 

“Sure,” Nie Zonghui said agreeably. “For totally unrelated reasons, I’m going to find Nie Wenji.” 

Nie Mingjue huffed at him, annoyed, but let the boys bully him back into bed nonetheless. He snagged Wei Wuxian’s sleeve when he tried to move away, wanting to keep him close until the memory of the demon on his heels and the forest swallowing them both up had faded. 

Wei Wuxian cooperated for once by sitting on the bed beside him, rubbing the sleep from his eyes with a wide yawn and helpfully scooting over so Huaisang could join them.

“Are you hurt?” Nie Mingjue asked. 

Wei Wuxian shook his head. “Just scratches and stuff. Nie Wenji healed me pretty quick.”

“Where are Liu Rushi and Nie Huiyin? What happened?” 

“We got lucky, is what happened,” Nie Huiyin said as she limped into the room, bracing most of her weight on Liu Rushi. She shot them a wide smile. “Hey, Sect Leader. We heard you were awake.” 

“What…” 

“A tree fell on me,” she said cheerfully. “I broke my leg and had a few puncture wounds. No biggie.” 

“‘No biggie,’” Huaisang repeated incredulously. 

Nie Huiyin was unfazed. “Yeah, I’m fine with it. We’re all alive, and she thinks scars are hot.” 

Liu Rushi, bearing as many bandages as Nie Mingjue and a long-suffering expression, just sighed. “A-Yin set off the flare during the fight, which Nie Zonghui and half the sect responded to. They made it in time to stop the bleeding and address the internal injuries you had before you died.” 

She continued, shooting an affectionate glance at the boys. “A-Sang kept the pressure on your wounds so you didn’t bleed out, while A-Xian led the demon into the forest. The lure kept its focus entirely off of us, so we were able to finally bring it down.” 

Nie Wenji bustled into the room, scowling at Nie Huiyin and Liu Rushi. “I didn’t give you permission to get up! Go back to bed before you undo all my hard work.” 

Liu Rushi bowed for them both. “Yes, Nie-qianbei.” She helped Nie Huiyin hobble back out. 

Nie Wenji shooed the boys out of her way so she could check the bandages, handing them a few supplies to hold onto with a command to make themselves useful. Nie Mingjue tried not to blanch at the glare she gave him at the sight of the bloodied bandages on his chest. 

“Don’t even think about moving again,” she ordered. “It took all of my spiritual energy to keep you alive, Sect Leader, and I will be very offended if you ruin my efforts.” 

“Yes, Nie Wenji,” he said, knowing better than to pick a fight with the sect healer. They didn’t fight fair. 

As if hearing the thought, she turned back to Wei Wuxian and told him to give the small bowl of medicine to Nie Mingjue and ensure he drank it all while she left to retrieve new bandages.

Wei Wuxian cupped the bowl carefully between his hands and passed it to him. Nie Mingjue frowned down at it, wondering at its alarming shade of red. 

“I put some chili oil in there to help with the taste,” Wei Wuxian said earnestly, because of course he kept it stashed on him at all times. Nie Huaisang face-palmed behind him. 

Nie Mingjue decided he was too exhausted to give a fuck. He downed the whole thing at once and instantly regretted it, thinking that death might have been kinder, and then slipped back into sleep with his mouth on fire and his brothers bickering beside him. 

Soft fingers threading through his hair woke him later, along with the weight on the bed and gentle music in the background. 

Nie Mingjue made a sleepy questioning sound at the back of his throat, blinking his eyes open to find Lan Xichen smiling down at him. 

“Xichen?” He croaked, squinting blearily at him. He closed his eyes briefly as Xichen tenderly brushed the hair away from his eyes. 

“Huaisang wrote to me when you were hurt,” Xichen said, mouth curling. “He says you’re a terrible patient.” 

“He’s a much worse nurse, believe me,” Nie Mingjue assured him, hearing an offended “Hey!” from across the room. 

Xichen laughed. “Rest, Mingjue. I brought Wangji along to play Healing for you.” 

That would be the source of the music, he assumed, looking past Xichen to where Lan Wangji knelt in front of his guqin and played with single-minded intensity. Wei Wuxian was kneeling beside him, shuffling a little closer every time he thought Lan Wangji wasn’t paying attention to him, as though he simply couldn’t help himself.

Xichen’s smile faded as his fingers brushed the bandages on his chest. “This is…” 

“It looks worse than it is,” Nie Mingjue assured him. 

“No, it’s exactly as bad as it looks,” Huaisang said irritably from the corner chair. 

Nie Mingjue rolled his eyes. “We have a saying in Qinghe,” he told Xichen, catching his hand and pressing it to his mouth. He watched a pretty pink flush spread across his cheeks and momentarily lost his focus. 

“And what is this saying of yours?” Lan Xichen prompted, threading their fingers together.

“It’s far from the heart,” Wei Wuxian piped up. 

Nie Minjue nodded seriously. “Exactly.” 

“This is… really not that far,” Xichen said doubtfully, eyes dropping to his chest. 

“Doesn’t matter!” Wei Wuxian chirped. “Still counts.” 

“It mostly just means that it won’t kill me,” Nie Mingjue explained when Xichen blinked back at Wei Wuxian, clearly baffled.

“Oh, I see. So it’s a motto for the way you Nies brush off fatal wounds on the regular?” Xichen teased, but his grip was tight. 

“Now you’re getting it,” Nie Mingjue said warmly. 

Xichen leaned in and pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “I was scared when I got the letter,” he admitted quietly, resting his forehead against Nie MIngjue’s. 

“I’m fine,” Nie Mingjue promised, and pretended he couldn’t hear Huaisang’s disbelieving scoff. He lifted the hand not already held in Xichen’s to touch his jaw with careful fingers. “I missed you.” 

“Ew,” Wei Wuxian said like the brat he was. 

“Would you perhaps like a new brother, Xichen?” Nie Mingjue asked with feigned sincerity. 

Wei Wuxian just laughed. “You said I was irreplaceable, da-ge. That means you’re never getting rid of me.” 

Yes, he supposed that was true, NIe Mingjue thought fondly. Now they just had to make A-Xian believe it.

But that would come later, when he could sit up on his own without the whole world spinning around him. He wouldn’t be chasing his brothers around for a while yet, but the spark of dread at being bed-ridden faded with Xichen’s soft touch, the mindless chatter from Wei Wuxian, Huaisang’s occasional commentary, and the music finally lulling him back to sleep. 

[mxdberries]

I can't stop thinking of fem!LXC being a pretty tall lady, elegant and kind and with what LXC's himbo behavior, being too oblivious at how she drives her sworn brothers up a wall trying not to just fuck her when she teases them on accident. JGY is at perfect height to have a faceful of soft tiddies when she goes in for a hug. Mingjue's been holding back since they're fifteen and his resolve is hanging by a thread. Also imagine the two of them totally noticing the other's struggle and hating it.

O///O Xichen-jie I would describe her as very pretty, head empty, tiddy soft & warm, big heart.

Most men are actually intimidated by her, like not only is she well versed in the six arts, she's tall! Considering how most men are now with tall women, it might be the only hindrance in offers for her hand in ancient China. But not for her boys. She's got such a sweet smile, it makes her phoenix eyes look like crescent moons when she's really happy, she tilts her head when she smiles and her hair falls away from her long neck, drawing the eye. Her laughs are never hidden by her sleeves. Like all she needs to do is give you a look and you'll be tripping over yourself to help her even if she doesn't need it. She looks delicate & alluring as she plays her flute but could also probably bench press you. And that's hot.

Childhood friends to lovers is such a good trope; the sweet innocent loving gestures shifting to 'Oh no s/he's hot' & being awkward as they try to deal with the change, and then when they're together it's just so easy (except if they fight it's also too easy to hurt bc they know so much about you), so Nie Mingjue half in love fem!LXC since they were young is so good. When they're together at Cloud Recesses it's very formal, but in Qinghe, they're more casual. LXC even took off her boots once and laid her bare feet on NMJ's lap, who nearly combusted from seeing her pale pink toes, like little pearls. He used to give her a pass for being a pacifist since she's a woman 🙄 but she quickly changed that after trouncing him half a dozen times, NMJ drinks respect women juice. Their spars get intense, her robe damaged around the shoulders and he gets distracted by her arm muscles flex as LXC swings her blade cause she rarely takes off, and he loses even worse than usual. It's hard to be so restrained.

But being Jin Guangyao wouldn't be so bad either. Rescuing & hiding a vulnerable naive beauty. Claiming it's safer to sleep together in case someone tries to take her in the night, LXC cuddles so JGY wakes up to soft tiddies in his face and his lower half hard. Touching her face, dolling her up under the pretense of needing a disguise, almost kissing after putting on lip color LXC very trusting with her eyes closed.

Now when the boys finally meet, sparks fly, they know of each other through LXC and they know the other has pulled some moves. The only thing holding them back from beating the shit out of each other is LXC's bright smile as she says "I'm so happy we can all be here together. My dearest friends."