#ly join together in one thing: hating amanda waller

[themyscirah]

Amanda... I miss her.

But I don't trust a single person to write her other than Ostrander/Yale. Like I don't trust them to do it right. Because like it's easy to write her being shady and manipulative and involved in secret government conspiracies. That's what she does. But it feels so hollow once you've seen her character in the way Ostrander describes it. Like she is a woman who is desperate and trying to do what she thinks is right. She has found a place of power (as a fat Black woman in the 1980s) and is doing anything she can to fight and hold onto it as powerful and ambitious men try and steal it from her. So she doubles down. She doubles down on the shady deals and the broken promises and the violence and she destroys her enemies, and loses a part of her soul in the process. And then some other ambitious politician rises up and the process repeats itself over and over and over again as each time she loses more of her morality and more of her soul and more of the respect her colleagues had for her. In place of that she gains more power, she gains fear, and an even more badass reputation. Until by the end of the book the villains begin to understand/sympathize with her more than the heroes ever will. Like THAT is who Amanda Waller is. It may happen subtly, it may happen over a longer period of time but that descent is a critical part of her character! She is a tragic character! And I feel like every perception of Suicide Squad I've seen outside of the original has her as this static villainous snapshot which is just untrue to her core imo. Like she is not a hero. But she is also not JUST a villain. She is a highly flawed character who is always descending farther and farther into villainy as she is led there by what she believes is right.

[fialleril]

Oh man I would watch the SHIT out of all of those JLA/JLU sequel shows you pitched. But I have to know: will John Stewart's terrifying landlady be making an appearance? (Also you reminded me of just how much I desperately wanted J'onn's human wife's backstory. Or like, even a name?)

(Original post is here for those just joining in.)

John’s terrifying landlady would be a recurring character. At least once per season she would get to wail on a supervillain or five, but there would also be a running gag where she keeps beating on other members of the Justice League. At one point John even introduces her to Flash, but she still whacks him over the head with her broom the next time he comes by and John isn’t home. Once she even beats up Batman.

I keep thinking that J’onn’s wife was named Ming, and then remembering that was just fanon… But yeah, I would really love to know the story of how they got together. I’m imagining a situation where they’ve been dating for months and J’onn has been agonizing over how to tell her the truth about who he is and finally after some harrowing adventure or other he just kind of blurts out, “I’m an alien,” and to his shock she just pats him on the hand and says, “I know, dear.”

Other things that definitely happen at some point on these hypothetical shows:

Remember the Flashmobile? Wally’s…very expressive van? Yeah. Wally, John, and Shayera absolutely go on a road trip in the thing. John complains about the van the entire time. Shayera genuinely likes the leopard print cushions. At some point Wally installed a karaoke machine, and John very much lives to regret this. Shayera sings death metal, which honestly isn’t that surprising. Wally also sings death metal, which…kind of is. John insists that he doesn’t sing, but eventually the other two wear him down and he does a decent riff on Ray Charles.

One time Queen Audrey is taken hostage by a Kasnian nationalist group that wants to see the country leave the World Assembly and rebuild their military might. Diana for some reason can’t get to her for most of the episode, so the plot is just Audrey playing her captors to keep herself and the other hostages alive until Diana can show up and punch some fascists.

Shayera still gets a lot of hate and distrust as a result of the Thanagarian invasion, and although she tries to ignore it, sometimes it still gets to her. In one episode she’s sunk particularly deep in self-hating thoughts, so Wally decides that she’s gonna spend the day with him in Central. She’s not really interested in socializing but he’s insistent and weirdly excited about the idea and it’s kind of impossible to say no to that puppy face, so she goes along. And then the whole episode is just about how the people of Central City absolutely love Shayera. Like they’re stopping her on the street to say thanks, asking for selfies and autographs, kids are shyly giving her pictures they drew of her looking badass and saving the day. It’s wild. Finally she just straight up asks a woman why everybody is being so nice, and the woman looks at her like she can’t imagine why they would be anything but nice and just says, “Well, you brought Flash back from that vortex, after all that business with Brainiac. Of course we love you.”

One time John gets called back to Oa for a couple of weeks and the Guardians send Guy Gardner to cover for him on Earth. It’s a two part episode and half of it is John being a badass and fighting off an invasion of Oa, and the other half is just…people on Earth dealing with Guy Gardner. Like nothing momentous happens on Earth at all. It’s just…Guy Gardner.

The Glorious Godfrey tries to make a big TV comeback by announcing that he’s discovered the Flash’s secret identity. Wally spends half the episode worrying about this but there’s not much he can do. Then Godfrey’s big moment comes and he reveals that the Flash is, in fact…Bruce Wayne! The evidence is all there. They’re both fun-loving playboys, and the fact that Wayne lives in Gotham obviously wouldn’t be an obstacle for the fastest man alive. Wayne’s vast wealth would also explain how the Flash can afford to keep himself fed with that outrageous metabolism, and as the Flash is a founding member of the Justice League, that also answers the question of how the League could afford to build not one but two incredibly advanced space stations, not to mention all the other tech they have. And, says Godfrey, it explains why the other founders continue to hold Flash as an equal even though he’s clearly not on their level - because he’s bankrolling them!

Batman is completely disgusted by this entire production. Wally assumes it’s because Bats feels insulted, and Bruce lets him think that, but tbh he’s most annoyed that Godfrey would say Flash isn’t on the same level as the rest. He will never admit that, though.

Wally, meanwhile, finds the whole thing absolutely hilarious, and gleefully tells Bruce that there’s an obvious corollary here: Batman’s secret identity must be Wally West! After all, he is a detective.

In one episode of John and Shayera’s show, there actually is an alien that sucks out people’s brains. It’s finally stopped by John’s landlady and her broom.

About a week after J’onn finally settles into an identity and an apartment for good, Agent King Faraday moves into the apartment just down the hall. It’s an open question for the whole of the show’s run whether Faraday knows J’onn’s true identity or it’s just a really wild coincidence. This question is never resolved. King Faraday and Jon Jones become friendly acquaintances and every now and then they stop to chat in the hallway about their respective days. Faraday talks about what J’onn knows to be his work with the League as if it were a humdrum office job. J’onn talks about his retirement as if he had retired from an equally dull office job. Neither is ever sure if the other knows they’re lying.

There’s a Batman and Flash crossover episode in which the Joker and the Trickster team up to do something nefarious, so Flash and Bats have to stop them. Flash doesn’t seem at all worried about it, though, and Bruce knows Wally well enough by now to get curious rather than annoyed. In the end it turns out that Trickster was working with Flash all along, solely for the joy of seeing Joker’s face when he reveals the trick.

Aquaman appears for a cameo once per season on every show. Every time he’s riding on the back of an increasingly enormous and terrifying sea monster. He says something suitably badass, and then returns to the ocean.

Diana takes Audrey home to Themyscira to meet her mother and sisters. Audrey is suitably impressed with everything except the party scene, which is pretty nonexistent. She sets about fixing this. Hilarity ensues.

Lex Luthor somehow gets out of his happy fun anti-life adventure time with Darkseid and is pretty pissed about once more being denied godhood. He shows up in Central looking for revenge on Flash for the Brainiac incident (not to mention that time they switched bodies). But it turns out Flash isn’t even home, and the whole episode is just the residents of Central kicking Lex to the curb.

Several old Cadmus files that were meant to be destroyed are stolen and sold on the black market, and there’s a massive crossover finale where all of our heroes have to team up with Amanda Waller to get the data back and undo as much of the damage as possible. Aquaman shows up at the climax riding on the world serpent.

[some1foundme]

Fic: An Arrow Thru It ch. 14

A/N: So I know that it’s been a while.  Like, a long while.  And I know I promised that I wasn’t going to give up on this fic or on Mark of the Angel.  I swear I haven’t given up on either of them.  I’m going to try to focus on An Arrow Thru It for a while, see if I can manage to finish this one first before I start working on anything else, at least any other multi-chapter fics.  I want to thank all of you who have left words of encouragement on this story, they’re so greatly appreciated.  I also have to thank my beta westernbeauty for sticking with me even though I’ve made her wait forever for a new chapter of this just like I’ve made all of you wait.  I’d love to know what you think!  Enjoy!

Ready on AO3 or ff.net.

Chapter Fourteen

Russia, 2011

The bright lights of the hospital burned her eyes.  She was so tired.  Her body ached.  Everything ached and Felicity wished that she could sleep again.  She wanted to close her eyes and go back to three days ago. Three days ago when she had still been pregnant.  When she had still been carrying their child.  She swallowed hard, wincing at the bitter taste of stomach acid that wanted to make its way up her throat.  She continued to stare at the ceiling, knowing that if she turned her head even a fraction of an inch, she’d find Oliver sitting vigil beside her.

A heavy weight pressed on her chest, a physical manifestation of her emotional state. Her heart hurt.  It hurt so badly and she knew that the pain wasn’t going away anytime soon.  She’d been seventeen weeks into her pregnancy.  It hadn’t been planned, so little of their lives was, but she’d realized quickly that she wanted it.  Felicity wanted a baby, a family, with the man that she loved.  And when she’d confessed her desire to bring their baby into the world, Oliver had confessed something of his own.  He wanted it, too, a child that they’d made out of love. They’d both been so happy.

Tears welled in her eyes and spilled down her cheeks.

They had only known about the baby for nine weeks.  Nine weeks of nights spent lying in their bed talking to their unborn child, of days spent browsing the aisles at small shops in the village looking for toys and clothes and essentials, of afternoons discussing baby names and where they would raise their son or daughter once they were free of the Bratva.  

And nine weeks was all the time that they’d been given.

A warm hand cupped her jaw, Oliver’s thumb skimming below her eye to wipe away her tears, and a strangled sob left her.  She squeezed her eyes shut.

“Dorogaya.”

“I – I’m so sorry, Oliver.”

His lips brushed across the apples of her cheeks, over the bridge of her nose, and landed at the corner of her mouth.

“Felicity, sweetheart, please.”

His voice was strained as he whispered the words into her skin.

“Our baby,” she whimpered, fresh tears rolling down her cheeks, “I-I lost her.”

He shook his head and wrapped his arms around her as best that he could.  He rested his forehead against hers.

“It’s not your fault, Felicity.  This isn’t your fault.”

She was aware of her nails biting into his arms where she held onto him, aware that she had to be hurting him, but Oliver didn’t complain and she couldn’t let him go.  She couldn’t look at him.  She didn’t want to see the sorrow in his expression.  She didn’t think she’d be able to stomach the disappointment that she knew she would find when she looked into his eyes.

Hot tears dripped down her neck and into the collar of her hospital gown and Felicity couldn’t be sure if they were hers or his.  He held himself still above her, keeping most of his weight off of her body, but she was certain that he was breaking as badly as she was.

It wasn’t often that good things happened to them.  They had each other, Anatoly had helped them get married (he’d actually insisted on it), and they were free of Amanda Waller.  So when she’d discovered that she was pregnant, when she’d found out that Oliver was happy about the baby, she should have known that it was too good to be true.  And she should have known that the damage done to her by Anthony Ivo and his men would follow her around for the rest of her life.

“I want to go home,” she pled, her voice strained, “Please, Oliver, I want to go home.”

It didn’t matter that home was a small, cold, one-room flat in a small village on the westernmost coast of Russia.  It didn’t matter how much she hated that flat.  All that mattered to Felicity in that moment was that she needed to leave the hospital.  She wanted to escape the harsh lights and the smell of antiseptic that filled her nose.  She needed to leave the place where she had lost her baby.

“I’ll go find the doctor.”

He brushed his lips across her forehead as he eased away from her.  His movements were slow, sluggish and weary, and she could see how exhausted he was.  She could see clearly how affected he was.  Tears stung her eyes once again.

Recovering from the loss of their child wouldn’t be easy for either of them.

*             *             *

Starling City, 2012

Felicity clutched his hand between both of hers.  She had situated the only chair in the room as close to the hospital bed as possible, staring at her fiancé’s prone form.  His fingers were cold.

They had found him unconscious in the alley behind the warehouse, lying in a puddle of blood and barely breathing.  The dark red liquid had still been warm as it had soaked into her clothes and stained her hands.  John had carried him to the car and Felicity had climbed into the back with him.  She’d struggled to get him out of his suit and into his street clothes.  He had been heavy lying across her lap and Felicity had fought to keep her emotions in check until they pulled up to the emergency entrance of Starling General.

That had been nearly two hours earlier.

“Fel – Felicity.”

Her eyes flew to his face as his hoarse voice broke through her wandering thoughts. 

Oliver’s eyes were squeezed shut, his brows drawn together, and she watched the rise and fall of his chest as his breathing quickened.  A pained gasp escaped him and the hand that she held jerked in her grasp.

Felicity pushed to her feet and leaned over him.  She combed her fingers through his damp hair.

“I’m here, baby.  I’m right here.  You’re okay.”

He jerked awake suddenly and Felicity took a quick step back, barely avoiding knocking their heads together.  She settled herself on the edge of his bed and placed her hand over his heart.  He stared up at her with wide, panicked eyes.

“Hey, you’re okay, Oliver.  You’re safe.”

One of his hands covered hers, his fingers wrapping tightly around her own, and he lifted it to his lips.  His eyes fluttered closed again and his breath left him in a rush.

“He got away.”

Felicity sighed, “I don’t care about him, Oliver.  You’re alive, that’s what matters to me.”

Oliver squeezed her hand but remained silent.  She knew that he would be disappointed in the way that his confrontation with the other archer had ended.  He’d been bested and had nearly lost his life.  She understood him well enough to know that he wouldn’t be able to let go of his vendetta.  Oliver would hunt the other archer until one of them was taken out of the game permanently.

“You have a collapsed lung and three broken ribs,” she told him gently, wincing with him when he breathed too deeply, “You really need to rest.”

He shook his head, “I’m fi-“

“Finish that sentence, Oliver Queen, and you’ll be sleeping alone for a month.  You are far from fine.”

One corner of his mouth lifted in a small smile and Felicity clenched her jaw to keep her tears at bay.  She felt heat rise in her cheeks and she blinked quickly, hoping to stave off the breakdown she’d been pushing aside since they’d arrived.  Oliver sobered quickly at her expression.  He tugged her down into his chest and wrapped one arm around her.

“I’m okay, Felicity.”

Silence settled over them for a long moment.  She couldn’t explain the enormity of her relief.  When she had heard his choked gasp, the way that his voice had broken on her name, Felicity had though that she’d lost him this time.  She’d thought she would never see him again, that she would never get to stand in front of their friends and his family and exchange vows. She wanted to share that with him. But more than anything, Felicity wanted a life with the man that she loved.

“Maybe we should get married,” she admitted, “Now.  Today.”

Oliver’s eyes blinked open slowly. The medication that he was on was clearly making him drowsy and she wouldn’t force him to stay awake.  He needed to rest.  But she had to get it all out now while the adrenaline was making her brave.

“Felicity.”

She didn’t miss the way that his syllables slurred.

She shook her head and reached for his hand.  She squeezed his fingers.

“We could.  We could call in the chaplain and get married right now. Right here.  Just you and me.  And John, of course, because we need a witness.  We can still have the big, beautiful wedding in a few months.  We don’t even have to tell Thea and your mom.”

Oliver sighed and she could see how much that small action took out of him.  His eyes slipped closed again.

“I love you,” he whispered.

Felicity grinned, lifting their joined hands to her lips, and brushed a kiss across his knuckles.

“I love you, too, baby.”

It wasn’t long before his breathing evened out and sleep claimed him.  Felicity settled back into the chair she’d dragged to his bedside.

“Oh my god.”

She started, whipping her head around to find Thea and Moira standing in the doorway.  Walter appeared a moment later.

“Is he –“

“He’s fine,” she assured them quickly, keeping her voice low as she scrambled out of her chair, “He’ll be perfectly fine. “

“What happened?  Mr. Diggle says there was an accident,” Walter asked.

Felicity nodded, subtly ushering his family into the hallway.

“He – he was kind of upset about … well about everything.  The party and – and Thea,” she swallowed hard when the young woman teared up, “I’m not saying this is your fault, not at all.  Oliver was angry and you know how he is.  He just wanted to get away and he wrecked his bike.  He’s okay.  I promise. He’ll be tired and sore for a few days but he’s going to be fine.”

Thea nodded, sending tears spilling down her cheeks.  She stepped away, wandering to the end of the hall.  Guilt lanced through Felicity as she followed her movements.

“I shouldn’t have… I’m sorry. This isn’t her fault.”

“No, dear, it’s alright.  We all could’ve been more understanding. After all that you and Oliver have been through, we all could’ve made more of an effort to appreciate what he was trying to do and let him enjoy the holiday,” Moira said gently, “It’s been a long time since anyone in this family has been able to truly appreciate Christmas and all that it means.  And it has been a very long time since we’ve had the opportunity to celebrate as a family.”

The sting of tears in her eyes was unexpected, as was the tightness in her throat.  She coughed to cover her suddenly surging emotions.

“We’ll leave you with him tonight,” Walter told her, “Unless you’d like us to take you home.”

Felicity shook her head.

“No, no, I – I’m going to stay here with him.”

She said goodnight to Walter and Moira and watched as Thea was ushered into the elevator before stepping back into Oliver’s room.

Felicity returned to her chair, falling into it heavily and picking up Oliver’s hand again.

“I hate hospitals,” she muttered, clutching his fingers tightly, “I really, really hate them, Oliver.  So I need you to wake up soon so that we can go home.”

He didn’t stir and she hadn’t expected him to.  He’d sleep through the night here, his body pumped full of pain meds and recovering from yet another brutal beating.  It was a blessing of sorts.  She couldn’t remember the last time he’d been able to sleep for more than a few hours, the last time he hadn’t woken early from her nightmares or his own.  If being doped up on a cocktail of antibiotics and narcotics allowed him to truly rest, she could put aside her discomfort and make the best of it.

Her last stay in a hospital had been a little more than a year earlier.  She’d been traumatized by the stay.  Not because of the doctors that she’d hardly been able to understand. Not because of the treatment that she’d received.  No, it had nothing to do with the hospital itself.  

She had lost a baby that she’d only just realized that she’d wanted.  She had lost a part of herself.  Because it had been during that hospital stay that she’d learned the truth about her body and the extent of the damage that had been done to her.  And Oliver… Oliver had been forced to suffer right along with her even though she had kept the worst of it locked away. She hadn’t wanted him to know. She hadn’t wanted him to ever find out that their baby had died because her body wasn’t strong enough to keep it alive. She hadn’t had the courage to tell him that she would never be strong enough, that she could never carry their child, that she would never be able to give him a family.

She closed her eyes and pulled a deep breath into her lungs.  As she exhaled, she pushed away the pain and forced her mind to focus on Oliver, on the feel of his calloused hand in hers.

*             *             *

Felicity woke with a start, her breath catching in her throat, and she felt the gentle drag of his fingers through her hair.

“Hi.”

She sat up and stretched, forcing his hand from her head, and sighed.  Her eyes flit around the private room that he resided in.  Sunlight streamed in through a large window, the warmth of it licking across her skin.  She was surprised to discover that she’d slept through the night.  She was even more surprised to see Thea curled uncomfortably on the small sofa tucked against the far wall.

“Felicity?”

She blinked tired eyes, turning to Oliver.  The grip he hand on her hand tightened.

“How’re you feeling?”

He lifted a shoulder, the action making him grimace, and Felicity shook her head.

“I’ve had worse,” he assured her.

She barely resisted the urge to roll her eyes and dug her nails – gently – into the back of his hand.

“While I know firsthand that that is true, you’re allowed to admit when you’re in pain, Oliver.  You never have to pretend, not with me.”

He sighed and lifted their joined hands to his lips.  He brushed a kiss to her fingers.

“I know.  You know the same goes for you, right?”

Her gaze flit back to the sleeping teenager in the room and settled there.

“I was so scared… terrified. I – I thought I really lost you last night.”

She felt him shift behind her before his hand slid across her tense shoulders.  Felicity took a slow, steady breath, and turned her back on Thea. She didn’t try to hide the tears in her eyes as she returned Oliver’s soft smile.

“I’m sorry.”

She shrugged, taking his hand again.

“Not the first time, right? I’m sure it won’t be the last.”

He sighed, “Felicity, I –“

“Ollie?”

She started at the sound of Thea’s voice.  Her soon-to-be sister-in-law was a whirlwind as she crossed the short distance to Oliver’s hospital bed and practically flung herself into his arms.  Felicity didn’t miss the pain that colored his expression as Thea clung to him.  She touched Thea’s shoulder gently.

“Thea, honey, easy.  He’s hurt, remember?”

His sister backed away, chagrin coloring her expression, and her gaze darted back and forth between them. Felicity smiled at her as she stood.

“I’m going to step out and get some coffee, stretch my legs a bit.  I should… make some calls.”

Oliver caught her hand before she could step out of his reach.

“Don’t go far,” he requested, his voice strained, “Please.”

She squeezed his fingers.

“Of course not.  I’ll be back soon.  I love you.”

Oliver nodded in reply, a tight smile on his face, and she felt his eyes on her as she stepped out into the hallway.  She wasn’t surprised to find John sitting uncomfortably in a hard plastic chair just across from his room.  She dropped into the seat beside him.

“Have you been here all night?” she asked.

Her partner nodded.

“Left for a few hours to grab you both a change of clothes,” he nodded to the duffle bag on his other side, “And make sure to clean up any evidence from Oliver’s encounter with the Dark Archer.”

“Dark Archer?  Is that what they’re calling him?” she shook her head, “He’s going to hate that.”

John snorted, “Yep.  It’s better than the Hood.”

Sighing, she looked up and down the hallway, making sure that they were alone.

“He’s going to need to step back. Just for a little while.  Just until he heals.  He won’t want to, I know that.  But I’m not letting him go back out there until I know that he’s alright. Which means…”

“Which means that we need to make sure the vigilante is seen while Oliver Queen is on the mend from his motorcycle accident.  Understood. I’ll make a few appearances.”

“And Oliver and I will build our alibis.  We don’t need a repeat performance from the SCPD.”

It had happened just a few weeks after they’d returned.  Oliver had insisted on leading Captain Lance and the SCPD right to their doorstep.  It was a diversion.  A way to point the finger at themselves in order to convince local law enforcement that they’d gotten it all wrong.  She had been hesitant when he’d explained the plan to her and she’d been more than a little surprised when it had worked.  Lance had backed off, mostly because his accusations had fallen apart, but she knew that they were being watched.

“When did Thea get here?”

John shrugged, “She stumbled in a couple of hours ago.  I don’t think she even realized I was sitting here.”

Felicity sighed.

“Well how about you and I go get some coffee and leave them to it?  I have a feeling that whatever they’re talking about in there, it’s going to take a while.”