baabybern

[blortch]

Best of the Worst: Junka 4 Description

Best of the Worst is BACK! After an embarrassing Halloween booze fest, we decide to stack up the old black spine tapes and play a game of Junka™! Heaven and help us!! This time legendary Hollyweird celebrity Milwaukee Culkin appears from behind a wooden thing. When he's in town he's known as Milwaukee Milwaukee Culkin Culkin (legal name change). What’s Junka™ you ask? Well I’m glad you didn’t. Junka™ is a game where we stack up tapes in rows of 7 or 8 or something like that. I think 7. I don't care. And then pull tapes out, replacing them on the top of the pile with a spray painted tape. We used to use Nukie tapes until we put them all in a wood chipper. Now they is dust. Rich “The Barf Bag” Evans joins Mr. McCulkin in a pointless battle of tapes, wits, and skills that's certain to be more difficult than Celebrity Jeopardy! While the last winner was Tim, he wasn’t around so we had Rich Evans battle Milwaukee. Milwaukee came prepared though. Bolstered by a healthy dose of Ego and anti-shaky hand medication, Milwaukee plans to defeat Rich “The Diaper Clown” Evans in this battle, thus forcing the gang (including himself) to watch ALL the tapes he was pulled out of them Junka™ pile. This is, of course, after the pile has fallen and a winner is declared. This game doesn't make any cents! A new feature will also be added to Junka™ it’s called Poach-a-Pick™. This exciting new feature allows the winner to choose tapes from the loser’s pile for added misery! Ow! My Bladder! This spine-tingling episode also stars Jay “The Creep” Bauman and Mike “Lardo Boozer” Stoklasa as he eyes up the prize of the day: more beer to soak into his brain during the screening and subsequent discussions. You see, Mike once had a sweatshirt that said “I’m just here for the boos” with a photograph of a ghost on it. While a delicious pun indeed, this shirt harbored the terrible truth that Mike is truly just there “for the booze”. Mike films with the camera as does Jay and then makes the jokes, but really he’s there to consume so much alcohol he has to be carried up the stairs to his bedroom by several fire fighters. Jay also gets carried up to his bedroom by several fire fighters, but that’s for a totally different reason. Can Rich “The Adult Toddler” Evans defeat Mack is Back with the Hacks Culkin? I mean Milwaukee Culkin? I don’t know. You tell me when the first segment of the video is over. I know the answer already. I put my bets on Rich "The Man-Ape" Evans. While he appears oafish and dumb, this kid does have skills with his hands, cock, and sharp mental focus. MaClunken Culkin has that star-power though, which may intimidate a mentally decrepit witless circus freak like Evans (46-year old toddler). Now, the thing with Junka™ is that while the pile is large and we do watch EVERY tape we doesn't always place them on the table to talk about. Only the best are selected. This is the danger with watching a bunch of rando tapes. However, these boys are professionals and can usually talk about anything. They power through their injuries. Rich's back hurts him 24/7. Jay just wants to be home watching weirdo movies with his cats. Mike drinks to forget and Magulkin Milwagon McCulkin counts the seconds down to when he can return to the warmth of Los Angeles where he doesn't have to smell the rotting stench of failure bellowing from three mid-west losers.

[thechildisgone]

this made me laugh

[todayworldnews2k21]

Periyar University issues show cause notice to associate professor for writing books without permission

According to the notice, disciplinary action will be considered against the professor if he does not submit a response within 15 days, or if the competent officer finds the submitted response unsatisfactory. Photo: File | Photo Credit: E. LAKSHMI NARAYANAN Igniting controversy once again, the Periyar University has issued a show cause notice to an associate professor for writing books, one of…

[super-nova5045]

and just when you think you’re at your absolute lowest a blonde motherfucker comes along and makes everything so much worse

[king-of-men]

Correcting Macauley

As we all know, in classical Latin 'c' is pronounced hard, as a modern 'k' - hence "Kaiser" from "Caesar". In the nineteenth century this was no doubt less well known, and I therefore propose that Macaulay, in translating his lay of ancient Rome into English, made an error. I will attempt to correct this by providing an alternate reconstruction, with my amendations indicated by italics:

And now hath every kitty fluffed up her tail, a-men! The paws are forty thousand, the hisses, thousands ten.

Of course one cannot simply replace 'city' with 'kitty' and call it a day - what is the sense in which a kitty has a "tale of men"? No, no, we must reconstruct the rest of the stanza similarly. A kitty does very clearly have a tail, and once you allow the initial 'kitty/city' error then 'tail/tale' is a very natural further error for Macaulay to make, as is "of men/a-men". Then Macaulay has "the foot are fourscore", and this makes no sense - eighty thousand men (and that's not even counting the cavalry!) is a vast army for the time and place, entirely impractical to feed or coordinate. On the other hand "foot" is of course just another word for "paw", and if we assume ten thousand cats each with one hiss (not horse, pace Macaulay!) then indeed they have forty (not fourscore) thousand paws.

Now, an army of ten thousand kittens is no doubt easier to feed than one of ninety thousand men, some with horses; but it is still a rather absurd image. I therefore propose that the original, now-lost text that Macaulay translated as a heroic epic was actually nothing of the kind, but instead, a parodic, comic text in the style of the Batrachomyomachia - the "Battle of the Frogs and Mice". Alas, the critical approach of correcting plausible errors based on an obvious one does tend to break down the further one gets from the obvious error. Clearly we have Lars Pawsena of Clawsium", but otherwise even the cast of characters is not very easy to correct, much less the action. If Horatius is a cat, he cannot well jump in the Tiber, but this is not obvious - the kitties who fluff up their tails are the allies of Lars Pawsena, and Macaulay's "Romans" may well be some other animal entirely. Indeed this would explain why the Tiber (Tiger?) is so formidable an obstacle.

Still, while this is only a start, it suggests that searching for obscure feline puns in Latin may be a fruitful direction of research, and I would like to urge the grantmaking institutions to take up this fascinating field as soon as practical.

[0bsessiv3s0ul]

I can't wait for Autumn 🍂🍁

[mereinkling]

Education and the Human Mind

Learning is fun. Education can be enjoyable too. But obviously, they are not the same.  C.S. Lewis wrote a great deal about learning. A master of metaphors, he brilliantly described two distinct challenges faced by educators. In The Abolition of Man, he stated “the task of the modern educator is not to cut down jungles but to irrigate deserts.”  Wheaton professor, Robert McKenzie, offers a…

[lucidknight-blog]

SOCIOPATH / DIGITAL INK

[urfavoritedcwhore]

“it’s starting to smell like pumpkin spice!”

“it’s starting to smell like scary movies!”

no.

it’s starting to smell like, the snow in the mountains was melting and bunny had been dead for several weeks before we came to realize the gravity of our situation.

[potatosaresweet]

in my richard papen era(failing academics, in need of friends, romantising things i don't even understand)

[blortch]

In earlier years I enjoyed Mikes tangents about how he could “punch up” a script or rewrite scenes, endings etc, but now it’s so self-indulgent and screams of self-importance that I just can’t stomach it anymore. Mike has become “the man” and I’m not dealing with it that well, sorry.

Agreed - though looking back they've been hit and miss forever for me with more misses as of late. Dunno if I'd call it self-importance explicitly but def self-indulgent lol. And I can't think of any time where Mike wasn't the face of RLM I mean, there's even a HITB bit referencing this where Jay says: "When people tune into Half in the Bag they want to see Mike Stoklasa, and the Other Guy. They don't want to see the other guy and another Other guy."

It took people Ages to warm up to Jay (who is that?), Rich (Fake Plinkett!!!11) and co. ('macaulay doesn't mesh well with the group', 'the canadians are boring', 'simon barrett was snobbish', etc.). There were fucking never-ending threads even like way into 2020 on kiwifarms/4chan about Jack and Josh sucking in the show and yadda yadda

[lanabanana79]

[academic-vampire]

𝔚𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔞𝔯𝔢 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔡𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔩𝔞𝔱𝔢𝔩𝔶? 📖🍂

[lizzyaka]

One thing i can yap and yap on about for ages is the fact that the greek class cant for the life of them grasp the fact that bunny is upset by the murder of the farmer

When henry is telling the story of the bacchanal to richard, he says bunny couldnt understand how serious the situation was because he was freaking out which is funny, because he was the only one who understood

Henry also said that bunny wasnt upset about the murder but rather about the fact that theyd gone without him, and that he couldn't possibly care that theyd killed a man because he wasnt "exactly the most moral man" as if u needed to be fucking gandhi to realize that killing someone is wrong

When bunny started acting out they were all convinced he was doing it out of spite or to get under their skin, completely ignoring the signs that showed he was having a complete nervous breakdown and was slowly losing his mind because of what they had done

This is because they themselves did not see the act as something that was morally wrong, but rather an inconvenience for them. Like francis said, it wasnt voltaire they killed. They were so out of touch with reality that they lived not in this world but in one where morality doesnt exist, one they are the center of where the gods personally descend to be by their side. They lived in their ancient tales and greek poems. Bunny was the only one who was grounded and they cant understand that. It doesnt even begin to cross their minds. And its the same with bunnys death, they dont care about the morality of it because in their mind they are closer to gods than to humans and gods do whatever they please. They can kill a farmer and who cares? Its not like he was voltaire. They can kill their friend and who cares? Heroes kill and heroes die all the time.

this distance between them and the real world is the most important part of their characters because it explains everything else, from the incest to henrys suicide. Bunny was the only one who was rooted to reality which is what always set him apart from the rest and most importantly why things started to spiral out of control as soon as they killed him. He was their anchor to the real world and to sanity.

[elainiisms]

you ppl love villains/morally grey characters UNTIL they're a woman, then all of a sudden they are annoying, evil and irredeemable

[0bsessiv3s0ul]

"Do you understand the violence it took to become this gentle?"