#make the sorta content you wanna see right? lmao

[the-dumpster-fire-of-life]

hi!! i literally love ur atsv works(also the fact that you're a shifter too,,,like you're giving me so much content for my scripts <33). anyways, i was wondering if i could request an e42!miles x a felicia hardy/black cat variant(name doesn't have to by felicia hardy ofc) who's like a top art thief or something and prowler!miles meets them for the first time in the middle of a heist ?

I only watch the movies & am not really into the comics, so I don't really have an idea on the full character of felicia other than that she's a flirty cat burglar. So go wild on how you'd perceive her in earth42!

thanks!!

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(Hello! lmao, shifting is amazing and these help my scripts and motivation also, lol. So sorry this took so long but I hope you enjoy!)

Felicia Hardy!Reader

You and Miles would have a certain dynamic

Like you guys would sorta be rivals, who could pull of better heists, missions, who gets caught least and who can go undetected and be the stealthiest

Shit like that is a competition to you two

Especially when you guys didn't even know each other

Miles heard about you on the news one day, and it seemed people thought you were pulling off better heists than the Prowler

Miles couldn't have that, no sir

So, he pulled off a bigger one, and this, rivalry began behind the masks

It was sorta entertaining, seeing how you never interacted but seemingly were so competitive

Miles was actually impressed on how you pulled off your stunts and heists

Especially if you hit somewhere big and got a lot of shit on the making

He never knew your plan, you never seemed to go somewhere personal or have connections to there

It seemed you just hit where you want and grabbed whatever was in your way

I think you guys could be great ass partners

And Miles was shocked to see that even Uncle Aaron thought so

Uncle Aaron thought you would be a good asset or you would be a good person to have to work with, not against

Miles was stubborn, of course, and don't wanna admit that he was right

Until he actually met you and came face to face with you

And not gonna lie, Miles was pretty much just staring at you

You seemed to pop up out of nowhere, just sitting on a rooftop as he busy out the door

He didn't even notice you for a minute, he was trying to flee from the cops that showed up and to be honest they got him pretty good on the side before he got to the roof

You actually reminded Miles of a black cat when he first saw you, which held true to the name people around the city gave you

You didn't help Miles out off the roof really, just wanting to see him in person to see if he held up to his name

He did, you got your answer and left with a smile

Miles couldn't help but watch you go before he had to leave himself

He told Uncle Aaron about the whole thing and his uncle laughed at him

Soon after, it seemed like you always were you the same place Miles was

Even if it wasn't a heist, even on his apartment buildings roof

He couldn't tell you were coming, or the amount of times you sat in the dark and watched as he had no idea

You have a habit or watching and sneaking up on him so much he's now looking over his shoulder

But after you guys get past that, you guys actually make a pretty good duo

Maybe crime fighting, maybe regular teens

Miles was not prepared on how flirt you wer

Sure he was shocked at how stealth and smart, but nothing could compare him for the amount of nicknames, and whispering you did to him

Or the fact you were so shameless about it all

He never got flustered, but somehow you always did that to him

He did it a fair amount back, but catch him of caught and babe it's so fun

I have nothing else so here's how you first met:

"Shit…" Miles cursed under his breath, holding his side as he stumbled out onto the roof, leaning his back against the wall.

He could hear police yelling to each other, the dogs barking as they tried to sniff him out.

Miles knew he wasn't about to be caught, he just worried on how he would get out of this without being spotted and followed back home.

Miles grimaced, hissing under his breath as he pushed off the wall, almost stumbling as he walked off to peer over the side of the roof.

Miles cringed at how many police cars say around the building, all ready for him to walk out. Like hell he would.

"Running outta luck?"

Miles almost jumped, turning around quickly in the dark. It took a moment before his eyes settled, finding a figure laying on their back, just above the roof where the door was.

You laid with your arms crossed under your head, turning slightly to look at him, almost amused and with a cat-like smile.

"How long have you been watching me?" Miles glared, but in his mind almost surprised, and impressed, at how long you sat there without him knowing.

You hummed, still smiling as you sat back up, throwing your legs over the edge.

"Since- like, May?" You offered, leaning onto your arm, throwing your head back to think.

Miles looked at you, half surprised and half shocked, trying to form what an actual sentence would mean before your eyes lit up.

You laughed at yourself quietly, knowing that's not what he meant, but loving the look of utter shock on his face.

"Yeah, sorry. Be more specific next time, sweetheart." You shook your head, hopping down from the small platform.

Miles could almost back up, but had nowhere to go, instead standing and watching silently through his mask as you walked towards him.

Your steps were quiet, calculated and almost careful, like a cat as you hummed, a look on your face he couldn't describe as you circled him.

You were looking over his suit, running your fingers on his suit, nodding to yourself as you felt the material.

Something about you made Miles unable to pull away, instead lifting his arm to give you more space as you ran your fingers around his body, stopping in front of him.

Miles was able to see the small smirk on your face, standing in front of him with your hand on the Prowler mark on his suit.

"So, how is the Prowler is stuck on a rooftop with cops around?" You laughed, looking up at him with the same smile.

"Not stuck." Miles denied, not looking away from you as you leaned in, getting a closer look at his mask.

"Oh, then poor you." You mocked, thumbing over his mask, as he surprisingly, didn't say anything about it.

"Why are you here?" Miles finally asked, getting another small laugh from you as you glanced into his eyes.

"Wanted to see if you were the real deal." You shrugged, your face close to his.

"Got what you wanted?" Miles asked, his voice cool and calm, sorta distorted through the mask, but watching perfectly as your hand slipped down.

You looked back into his eyes through the mask, studying almost carefully before you hummed, stepping back.

"Yup. Certainly." You laughed, standing on the edge as you held up a bag. One of the bags Miles had robbed.

Miles patted around his body, feeling one missing from his pockets, looking up to see you with a hand on your hip, holding it out teasingly.

Though it was Miles, he couldn't find it to reach out and take it, instead watching your proud smirk.

"Seems you were too distracted to know." You teased before Miles could say anything else, tucking the bag into your pockets.

"See ya around, Miles."

And with a final wink, you stepped off the ledge, leaving a stunned Miles in your wake.

"Hey- wait!" Miles yelled out, seeing you disappear as he hurried towards the edge, looking down and being shocked as he saw you nowhere around.

He could hear your laugh echoing around him, the bag missing from his side gone with you.

And, you called him Miles.

You were watching him for a while, for too long, and you knew too much.

Miles couldn't wrap his head around it, shaking his head as he thought over every second you stood in front of him, every moment leading up to this.

And the fact he never knew. Never knew you were there. Never knew you were watching.

Miles couldn't help but chuckle, impressed and shocked, looking around the dark for any sign of you, not that he would find it.

He needed to leave, he knew that, but maybe he could add one more thing to his list of shit to do.

From the way he could still feel your fingertips running along his body, the way you hummed, smiled or laughed, and the way you said his name,

Miles couldn't help but want to see you again

[riddle-me-ri]

a/n: *gasp* a fanfic in 2024?? and it's not batman rogues?? Well..atleast it's...somewhat kinda sorta was DC comics?? I really wanna make this blog more..multi-verse based. So here's my shot at a "The Wolf Among Us" one-shot with Bigby Wolf and a female reader. This was a combination of re-reading the comics and watching way too many Tex Avery cartoons rip and despite all the other stuff I wanna work on I just had to get this story written and out there lmao who doesn't love the typical club singer openly flirting with the main character?? It's a classic right?

Content Warning: slightly suggestive heavy touching and flirting, but nothing explicit.

Word Count: 1.1 k

Bigby Wolf x F!Reader - Zeroing In

You push back the curtain just enough to see a tiny slit into the crowd beyond the stage.

You tried to focus your vision to pierce through the smoky haze that filtered the room and the figures in the audience. 

You kept your eyes peeled for a certain gentleman in particular…

You've been trying to get Bigby Wolf to come to your shows for a while, but he declined. Always too busy or preoccupied somehow but he always mentioned “maybe some other time.”  

You only managed to reel him in tonight because you mentioned how a possible suspect of his often frequented the club you performed at.

Knowing his persistence for answers, he couldn't deny the invitation…

And maybe…just maybe you could entice him to keep coming back for you.

You inhaled softly when you finally managed to make out his rich brown slicked back locks and warm brown eyes. 

Some muffled giggles left your lips as you saw him look around with a look of indifference but also on alert for who could possibly be the suspect you informed him about.

“All right, you almost ready, girlie? You gotta full house tonight, looks like even the sheriff swung by…dunno what the hell he wants but I’ma need you to put the customers at ease…lighten them up the best way you know how ‘k gorgeous?” 

“Yes ma'am!” You replied over your shoulder. 

“Who are ya lookin’ out for anyway?” Your boss, Carol asked, her head tilted in a curious angle. 

You giggled fondly to yourself as you stole one last glance at Bigby before you had to put on a straight sultry face. 

“A lady has her secrets…” You teased as you backed away from behind the curtain and straightened out your dress. 

Carol shook her head with a smile. “Eh, sure keep your secrets, girlie.” 

You winked at your boss before taking your position in front of the curtain. 

As the curtain slowly pulled back, you began your sexy saunter across the stage in time to the smooth jazz number that started playing. 

Cheers, whistles, and soft applauds welcomed you as patrons took delight in the bits of skin your dress revealed as you began singing your seductive tune.

You tried not to immediately lock eyes with Bigby, even as tiny shocks of excitement coursed through you from feeling his eyes on you.

Mid-way into your song, you began to slowly make your way down the stage and into the audience. 

You began teasing some of the audience members as you strutted around the floor. You'd let your hand glide across one man's shoulders, another you'd pat his cheek.

You couldn't help but notice Bigby shifting in his seat out of the corner of your eye. 

You giggled inwardly, you weren't about to leave him out. 

As you slowly approached the sheriff, you couldn't deny the stretch at the corners of your lips, slightly breaking your seductive aura to show genuine delight. 

You quickly recompose yourself however, as you began softly singing the bridge of the song. 

As the band played an instrumental portion, you wrapped your arm around Bigby's neck while your other arm brought your hand to cup the side of his face. 

His eyebrows raised slightly as his eyes try not to look into yours.

You could feel him gasp under his breath as you graciously and freely sat side-saddle in his lap. Your proud smirk didn’t fade as he glanced at you with a surprised, hesitant expression. 

You wished he would naturally react to the mood and wrap his arms around you, but he seems to have his hands deadlocked to the arms of his chair.

You almost jump out of your skin when he harshly whispers into your ear, his hot breath fanned your exposed shoulder. 

“What the hell are you doing?” 

“My job…like you.” You whispered softly back. 

Bigby huffed, before grumbling, “Where is he?”

You comb back a bit of his hair as you slide off his lap. “I’ll show you…”

In an attempt to not be super obvious, you engage with other patrons before getting to the suspect. 

When you finally got to the suspect, you teasingly caressed the underside of his chin with your index finger, before you made sure to make eye contact with Bigby.

He nodded as he looked down at the man who had such a lovestruck look on his face he didn’t even notice the sheriff taking inventory of him.

You head back to center stage and finish your performance with a glamorous flourish before the curtain falls as the club is filled with rampant applause and whistles. 

You exhaled as if you had been holding your breath underwater throughout the whole performance.

You’ve been singing for as long as you can remember. You’ve performed for plenty of audiences all over…and somehow this performance seemed the most nerve-wracking and the longest one to you. 

“So…the sheriff, huh?” Carol inquired with a smirk. “Can’t say I saw that one coming.” She handed you a cup of water. 

“Oh, shush,” you take the cup from her hand. “...a girl can dream, right?” 

“Hey, for Fables, the lives we live and where we come from…dreams are just the beginning.” 

You offer a small half smile before making your way back to your dressing room. 

Suddenly all the confidence you had going into the night started dissipating as you realized that perhaps, you should let go of this infatuation you have. He didn’t seem all to pleased or eager by your stunt…or maybe you just genuinely caught the sheriff off-guard…

You two get along fine. You’re able to converse with him casually, you were one of the few Fables outside of the Woodlands that weren’t either sour with him or scared of him. One of the few that you felt were genuinely in his corner. 

At least…you hoped he felt that way, at the very least. He may not hold any romantic feelings for you, and you could live with that, but you wanted him to at least know he had someone who believed in him. 

You began wiping off your make-up in your mirror when you noticed through the reflection of your room that something was slipped under your door. 

When you turned around you half-expected nothing to be there and your eyes were playing tricks, but surely enough there was a tiny folded up piece of paper there. 

As you tightened the belt around your robe, you walked over to pick up the note. 

You unraveled the note to see some hastily drawn handwriting that you can barely make out. 

Hey-

Thanks for the tip, I was able to get the guy and hopefully he’ll spill his guts soon enough. 

Also, I enjoyed your performance tonight, despite the heart attack you gave me. 

May come back to see you one of these nights. 

Stay safe and see you around.

-Bigby

A tiny flutter filled your chest as a small slowly grows across your face. You cling the tiny note to your chest and let out a tiny excited squeal. 

You couldn’t wait to head home and get some sleep to dream of what’s to come.

[justalilpearlie]

!! Intro !! (updated)

Hello everyone, my name is PearlescentMoon

Hihi! I'm Pearl! Magic is quite a fine name aswell. Although I'm a man of many names ;)

I am a minor, my gender labels are gendervoid verinix, tho I also ID as bigender and ftm (fem presenting tho! not transmasc, just trans man)! I'm queer, leaning on mlm, tho I also like girls here and there.

I go by He/Xe. I can She/Her myself + close friends/mutuals are allowed, but refrain from doing so without explicit permision please. (I also use neos: Void/Moon/Sweet/It/Fluff/Love/Fizz/Paw)

I'm from Argentina, born and raised, never moved. Speak fluent english and spanish.

I'm autistic and I have ADHD aswell as BPD and a few other things I wont list right now! But yeah I'm psychotic (ooo scary word.. lmao)

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I'm an IRL of many, mainly c!Pearl (mcyt), c!Magic(outsmp+psmp), Samuel Emily (fnaf [games canon]) and Shin Tsukimi (yttd). If you don't like it you can leave, block me, or whatever, cause you aint gonna change my life or how I am. I'm in therapy, which unlike random hate and harrassment online, does help me :)

I like to stream, roleplay, draw, sometimes make playlists or moodboards.. And my biggest interests right now are the Outsiders SMP, The Hatchetfield Musicals, Life Series and Empires 1.

I use kin tags for reach cause I'd love interaction from any mediamates!! Specially from Outsiders <3

Fictionkins, therians and traumagenic systems all welcome!

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DNI prefferably:

- Basic DNI criteria (proshippers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, TERFs, ableist, etc)

- Endos/non-traumagenic "systems" DNI. block me if u want, i wont argue abt it in the comments/reblogs. or interact if u want but im not gonna follow u back or anythin shrugs.

- reality checkers or anti-IRLs DNI. I aint "romanticizing" shit, I'm existing and living my life, if thats a problem to you too bad cause my psychologist aproves of what I'm doing, since I aint harming anyone and I myself am doing dandy.

- anti-kin also DNI cause most of my friends are fictionkins and if you talk shit abt my fellas idk i wouldnt like having u around much

CCs I'd rather if you didn't interact, but if you shall do so anyways, do so at your own risk, you've been warned. /lh

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"Disclaimer"

- I talk about MajorMoon (Scott x Pearl) a LOT, if u didnt notice by the acc theme. These are my romantic memories, its a gay ship, not woman/gay man, so if it makes u uncomfortable or u hate it or whatever then ur probably not gonna like my content lmao. COUGH, consider joining us if you do like what you see... /nf We're a small comunity of supporters.. just me.. and a few of my peeps... that was a joke, sir. /ref

- This isn't roleplay, its my main acc where im ""unapologetically"" myself, but if u do wanna rp outsiders/life series/empires/fnaf u can always shoot me a dm and maybe I'll give u my discord.

- I talk about myself (c!Pearl) using 3rd person in many posts tagged with main fandom tags. This is to cause less confusion to casual fans slash ""normies"" (lhj) that well.. don't know what IRLs are! Also that way I feel safer and don't have to worry as much abt getting harassed and such for my identity.

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Special People Mentions!! fps = * (1 or more.. wouldnt say in a priority sorta order but. more or less yea)

Family! <3 🌼 @pehpurr* SISTER!! YOU'RE AMAZING, DAISY. SO SO GREAT. YOUR ART IS INCREDIBLE, YOU ARE SO PASSIONATE ABOUT EVERYTHING YOU DO, YOU ARE SO VERY CARING FOR OTHERS, SO KIND AND TALENTED, A GREAT WRITER AND THE BEST BEST SISTER I COULD EVER ASK FOR!! Scar, you changed my life, you were there for me when I needed you the most, I know you ALWAYS have my back. You're kind to me even when the world isn't, and know that even if we fight or if you do things I disagree with (ehem forgiving too much ppl /lht), I will never leave you, and I will never stop coming after you. I love you, Kanna. You're the best Peeps, keep it up, for you're a beacon of hope in everyone's lives. I'm so proud. ♡ ⚙️ @gentlexmadman DAD!! I FREAKING LOVE YOU DAD OMG!! I am SO very happy we got to spend our first fathers day together even if just a little, you made this the first year I was actually happy to celebrate it, looking forward to it and making a gift of my own :) Im so so happy to have you in my life. You are, likewise to Pepper, an AMAZING artist, so much detail, just so awesome in general. I love hearing all your silly stories about work and the people you know, old man. Thank you for being with me, papá, I never thought I'd actually find you again. Thank you so so very much. ♡

🐸 @bigb-enthusiast SIBLING!! MY SIBLING IN ZAYA OH MY GOODNESS IS THAT USER BIGB ENTHUSIAST?? YES IT SURE IS!! Bro I could listen to ur analysis and rambles til the end of the world u got the best ideas ever wtf!!?? Ur very freakin insane but also ur my best buddy, my nosey neighbor for life!! I appreciate u a lot, Bee, my favorite insane asylum escapee ♡

🔪 @skywardspecter OECAAAAA HEY ZACH ILYSM BROTHER!! YOUR ROLEPLAY AND WRITINGS ARE AAAAA-MAZE-ING !! I RLLY WANNA MEET U IRL!! UR SO GOOD AT ROLEPLAY AND ART, YOU'RE SO CREATIVE AND BRIGHT UR LIKE A BALL OF SUNSHINE!! U PUT UP W A LOT RUNNING SM SERVERS BUT U ALWAYS GET BACK UP AND I THINK THATS ADMIRABLE!! AND IDK VIANS TUMBLR BUT SHOT OUT TO VIAN AND ORCA TOO !! VIANS SUCH A GREAT SUPPORTIVE FRIEND FR NO MATTER WHAT AND ORCA IS SUCH A KIND AND FUNNY GUY, VERY UNDERSTANDING <33 I LOVE U GUYS!! U MAKE ME FEEL SAFE, LIVE LAUGH LOVE MAGIC MAZE ♡

🥣 @rennyus SOUP OMGGG HAI SIBLIIIING ILYSM !!! GGHHH YOU. YOU ARE SO GREAT AND PATIENT WITH ME, YOU'RE ALWAYS THERE FOR ME WHEN I NEED YOU AND YOU'VE NEVER EVER JUDGED ME FOR ANYTHING!! I LOOOOVE HEARING ABT UR MEMORIES THEYRE ALWAYS SO SO SWEET <33 I RLLY HOPE U FIND UR WIVES SOMEDAY CAUSE ALL I WANT IS TO SEE U HAPPY SIB ♡

🐟 Aussi, MY AMAZING COUSIN OMG?? IDK UR USER HERE BUT!! WE'VE BEEN THRU SOOO SO MUCH TOGETHER, EVEN WITH THE PERIODS WE DONT TALK MUCH IN, I LOOOOVE GETTING INTO THINGS U LIKE OR WHEN U TAKE THE TIME TO GET INTO THE STUFF I ENJOY TOO!!! UR FRIENDS ARE ALSO VERY SILLY N I LOVE PLAYIN PHASMO WITH YALL! I LOOOVE ALL THE MEMORIES WE SHARE TOGETHER AND THESE TWO YEARS OF COUSINSHIP HAVE BEEN AMAZING!! TO MANY MANY MORE YEARS COUSIN!! LOVE YOU TONS ♡

Simply special <3 ☕ @insomniac-coffeehouse** You're all simply so very special to me. I love every second we spend together. I love seeing yall thrive. I love your insane yet endearing behavior. You might be a bit unhinged sometimes, and admittedly not the healthiest person when it comes to your schedules, but I'm just so proud of everything you create and accomplish. I hope you get to accomplish all your dreams, and I hope I can be here to see that happen, if you let me :)! For many years more, cause I'm just oh so glad I met you. You spark joy in my brain and my heart <3 From the bottom of my heart, I'm in love with the hope you bring to this world. 🍊 Jack***, Oh my dearest, where do I even begin with you, sport... you trully are my soulmate, my other half... mi media naranja, if you will, heh.. Every second I get to spend with you is like heaven, no matter whats going on, I know everything will be alright cause I have you. You mean absolutely everything to me, my Hero, I know you'll always be there for me. You are the sweetest man I've ever met, and I'm so proud of the person you've become. If I had to choose between you or the world I'd choose you 10 times over, and I can say surely, that you'd do the same. I love every single detail about you, thank you for being so patient with me, you're wonderful, cielo. I love your voice, I love your eyes, I love your smile, your laughter. I love your use of words, the way you speak, your humor, your seriousness and stupidness. You stiff fuck, you were made for me and I was made for you, and I wouldn't have it any other way. You're my everything, mi vida, mi luz, mi estrella. Mi amor, mi mundo. ♡

Friends! 🏜️ @thecranewivesrpf My right hand man!! OMG we havent talked in a WHILE but ILYSM !!! MY SECOND IN COMMAND IN THE MAJORMOON SERVER FRFR!! WE SHOULD TALK AGAIN, I MISS U POOKIE </3

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Badges I've earned:

(More TBA)

That's it for now folks, love yall and see you around!

[rush-the-stars]

idk what kinds horror in a/b/o you mean, but i immediately thought about the subtle horror in this reylo fic called "Until You" by ever-so-reylo on ao3 (sorry if you dont like reylo. i dont. but i recognize reylo authors can be BEASTS and i just use cognitive dissonance if i need it) where it's like.. horror in the sense of how society limits and treats omegas and it's all very normalized. like the fic describes a marriage pathway, alarms on doors, omegas cant be present to hear the results of their own doctor appointment, how not getting pregnant is reason for annulment, and so on, and it's just so wildly subtle in how horrific itd be to live like this and i think the scariest part is, in parts of this world rn, there are places where women are treated very similarly to this. it's a one-shot and not super long, and Kylo/Ben/whoever isnt a dickbag or anything, he treats Rey well, and the author is good about making a distinction between "this is how it is here" and "that doesnt mean its good or ideal or warranted" which i think just adds to the horror kinda sorta, i dunno, i could see you having fun writing about a similar kinda world

regardless, id love to hear more about how youd wanna add further horror to a/b/o, bc what i was talking about was Handmaid's Tale-adjacent (not that i like Handmaid's Tale bc the author's a fucking terf and also, m'am, that IS how the world is like for many woc in various parts of the world, it isnt "even more horrifying" having it happen to white women too jfc idk if it counts as "apocalyptic" if its happening here and now and no one seems to care tho; but you get what i mean when i name-drop it however. anyway. i digress) and im curious if you mean in a monster-fucker way or sex pollen way or what, i find the concept of a/b/o + horror fascinating so, again, id LOVE to hear more pls ♡

firstly anon thank you for coming into my inbox and taking the time to share all this with me!! it is greatly appreciated!!

now to get into this!! i’m gonna put this under a cut w some warnings just in case!!

cw: sexism, mentions of violence against women/feminist horror, reylo (LMAO SORRY), a/b/o, uh romantic cannibalism, blood

i am so sorry anon i detest reylo lol. and sorry if anyone follows me and likes them </3

also i think this is very fascinating that i mentioned horror and your mind jumped to what is essentially feminist horror! not a bad thing—just something observed!!

i personally read a lot of horror outside of fanfiction and i read a lot of feminist horror specifically. or i see or have been apart of plays/theater works/etc. that feature feminist/gender horror in various ways. i write short stories that are not fanfic about this topic as well, so with fanfic, i tend to avoid this a great deal! it’s an incredibly heavy topic and for a whole year last year, i had surrounded myself in it (and acted in shows where stage violence was enacted on me by men, acted in roles where i was often in distress because of male characters, acted in emotionally straining and difficult scenes) and realized i was actually…very drained. and learned what i liked to see in these stories and what i thought was needless violence against women reiterated again and again as torture porn of some kind. but long story short, fanfic was a reprieve of that for me!!

(i know you’re thinking—but cielo! you seem to love yandere content! and you are right! but i think all my yan content i enjoy is seeped in a warped love rather than a gendered violence. not that both can’t exist. it’s sticky.)

more than that, i am also interested in a/b/o that breaks gender constructs and dynamics in ways and is not just an afab omega enduring societal and personal violence!

the horror i was mentioning more i think had to do with body horror, possession (as in, almost…demonic. spiritual.), etc.! romance as a horror. (“but the horror? the horror was for love”)

blood lust being tied to heats/ruts. an omega, feverish and in heat, slick with blood and wild eyed. some romantic cannibalism with the way a bite is for claiming. it’s vampiric. it’s a devouring.

it’s a conjoining. a possession. two souls being forcibly twisted together. the horror of having only one true mate that you cannot choose. that is, for better or for worse, only yours. the horror of not just being yourself anymore, but someone else and vice versa. your uncontrollable “other half”.

sublime heats/ruts where you cannot tell what is real or not, shaky snapshots of mind melting ache and pain, only relieved by one person. hallucinations or ailments that come from deeply lonely and isolated omegas and alphas. nightmares when it reaches a fever pitch.

omegas with needle sharp teeth and so much hunger that need to feed and take relentlessly from alphas. omegas and alphas with eyes that glow in the dark and watch too keenly.

rituals where heats/ruts are watched, the horror of bareness and vulnerability. the horror of being an animal in a human skin. of your own desire or pleasure.

also just the horror of being dependent on someone. of needing someone so greatly you’ll be sick with it. the horror of being powerless to their love. the horror of their power over you. or yours over them.

the twisted care. i am interested in strange/more uncommon dynamics; alphas who are nurturing and motherly in awful ways. who hand feed and coddle and smother. omegas who are possessive and violent towards other alphas or omegas.

i just think there is A LOT that could be played with. thought of. messed around with.

i also think we don’t see enough historical au with a/b/o….i’m thinking also gothic-style. western man vs. nature. cowboy a/b/o…victorian…ancient civilization….etc.

anyways, i hope you don’t take this as me like scolding you or hating on what you’ve said in any way—defs not that!! i just had a different sort of horror in mind!! like i said, fanfic for me is all about romance at its core! it’s a reprieve and escape from the work and art that often is very serious and heavy (whether feminist/gender horror, capitalist horror, etc. etc.) that i usually spend my time creating or apart of in my day to day life! it’s deeply important work to me, just not something i wanna do here really!!

[skyartworkzzz]

Jaja is the oc/self-insert of an artist named cr33pyjaja, she normally pairs herself with Killer Sans, currently she has had more than one controversy due to her immature and obsessive behavior towards Killer Sans

OH We're dealing with another one like that Cross!Sans obsessed fan I see (if yall kno what Im reffering to) 🤢

THNXS FOR LETTING ME KNOW, now I wont interact with her stuff at all LMAO

ALSO Amma take the chance here and generally say to yall that- dude, its fine if u like a fictional character and pair urself with em, its completely fine rlly and I def recommend u to go for it if u want! But u cant fcking forget that- ure not special KASDJMADLSA THAT FICTIONal character was not made FOR YOU, there will ALWAYS be more ppl interested in them! Ure litr nobody and I say that in the nicest way possible /gen

If u want like- Idk, make them ""yours"" in some sorta way, THE MAX U CAN DO is create ur own variation of the canon character, like giving em so many headcanons that they technically become ur OC. Why? Cuz this way itll be smtng more personal that YOU made and therefore u'll have the right to state ur boundaries whenever ppl wanna use YOUR version, but it surely does not mean u own the CANON character cuz of that If u dont wanna do that, then deal with the fact that they dont belong to you and make ur peace with it to continue having fun in an environment u love /lh

Its just like creating an AU! Some ppl state boundaries because its a personal project, while others are more deliberate with it and allow its fans to do whatever tf they want cuz the point of that AU is to have fun as a whole! AS A COMMUNITY. So its not only childish of u, but also arrogant and selfish to act like you OWN the content that someone ELSE made

Anyways, TL;DR ure not special and u dont own whats not urs 🧘‍♂️

[jacqthehermit]

Art Summary and Art vs Artist 2022

2022 Art Ramblings and Other Shenanigans:

A.) I am not speed

Whenever artists wanna try something new to improve their art, we tend to make big drastic changes right away. This can be effective for others but not for everyone. As you can see, my art style is still the same as last year with minimal tweaks.

I decided that if I'm gonna make improvements, I'm gonna do it gradually instead of incorporating them all at once. This can be a big help in maintaining consistency. If the changes were small, we can easily remember and apply them on our next artwork.

“So is it effective? Did your art improve?”

It’s barely noticeable but yes it did. I like the direction in which my art progress is currently going. I am at the point where I actually like my finished work more than my sketch. You know that meme where artists like their sketch more than their finished work bec it looks better? I don’t feel like that anymore and that surely tells something haha.

B.) I failed successfully

Last year, I made a pseudo new years' resolution where I said "I hope I can draw my ships, anime and original stuff" since I mostly did Genshin. Well, I successfully drew my ships, anime and original stuff this year HOWEVER I made less videos lol.

I tried doing 1-2 artworks in between videos but sometimes the artwork took me longer to finish so I wasn't able to make video content afterwards. Another thing was the fact that I sorta dedicated some months tryna help save our country but in the end we failed miserably... Anyways! Let's not talk about that here.

Even though I made less videos, I managed to make 2 impactful videos which contributed a lot to my channel's growth this year. One of them is now my most viewed video. 

C.) I wanna delete everything

Checking other artists' IG accounts makes me want to turn my account into an art only account. But then again I know I'll be having the urge to shitpost and post irl stuff every now and then so as much as I wanted to be one of those mysterious artists who only post/talk about their art, I can't lmao. 

I feel like there's a lot of pressure on the artists who only post art related stuff bec people will always be expecting you to post art or even if they don't, you yourself might think they expect you to. And this kinda contributes to being burnt out somehow. 

Whenever I am on the verge of deleting everything (except art) I remind myself that it's fine even if I ain't one of those cool artists accounts. I am human and I do other human activities too besides drawing. It's like taking a breather I guess. 

"Make 2 accounts, one art and one personal"

Not everyone has the capacity to manage 2 accounts in one platform when you’re already managing other accounts on other platforms. Even if you did, most people who followed you for your art won't give a fuck about your personal one which kinda defeats the purpose haha. 

I know this is not applicable to all artists, especially the professionals/veterans. But for hobbyists like me, maybe you should consider this. I am not forcing you to post personal stuff bec I know not everyone likes that. I'm just saying that it's important to emphasize every once in a while to your audience that you are human too and not just an art producing machine. 

D.) I miss time traveling

Long time ago, during my Deviantart days, I used to type a bunch of shit in the description box of my artworks. Then came the Tumblr era where I continued to blog my heart out. When these platforms "died" and Twitter and IG migration happened, I slowly stopped doing this without me noticing it. 

I still say things on Twitter but since there's a limit and making threads is a pain in the ass, I ain't as expressive as before. And these platforms (Twitter and IG) made me adapt to its "culture" of short tweets/captions or sometimes nothing at all, just pictures. Which was great! I mean not everyone needs to know your entire business on the interweb right lol. 

But as time passed by, I began to realize that I love backreading (I dunno if this is the right term) whatever shit I used to talk about in the past. It's actually amusing no matter how cringe, happy or lonely it was. However, since transferring to Twt and IG, I can no longer go back to a certain period in my life to reminisce what the hell I was thinking, doing and feeling that time because I got nothing to backread and that made me kinda sad?

Even though I am still bad with words, I am trying my best to resurrect my old self here in IG (just less cringe and more careful this time). Don’t worry I am not going to make long posts everyday lmao.

"Nobody's gonna read all that"

True. HOWEVER my future self would and I think that's more important. It's the same as writing in your diary, you write for yourself first and foremost.

“Why don’t you just go back to Tumblr to blog”

My time on Tumblr has passed. Whatever good or bad memories I have there, I just wanna keep them as they are and no longer add some haha. I still love the platform and post my artworks there tho.

Conclusion:

Art progress and channel growth did great this year. Tho I fell short in terms of quantity of my video content, the quality compensated. I am not gonna make any pseudo new year’s resolutions this year. All I can say is I have a lot of ideas and I hope I can execute them.

Before I end this, I just wanna say hi to my future self. I know you’re reading this again for the nth time. Maybe you’re feeling sentimental or just bored as usual haha. Nevertheless I hope you’re doing well.

Happy New Year everyone! Stay safe and see you on my next video~

Jacq out.

P.S. Fuck AI generated images. 

[m1ckeyb3rry]

LMAOO LinkedIn coming in clutch but either way still exciting!! Does this mean after this you’ll be able to channel your inner yuki for fic writing omg you’ll have all the scoop on what the modeling process is like firsthand

AHAHA affirmations that’s the word I was looking for but FR before you sit down to write you hype yourself in the mirror draw on the stubble and get into the zone

FUNERAL INVITES SHEHWJSISJS I have no words for that I’m sure the graphics would go hard as usual though

STILL ALIVE AND NOT POSSESSED I’m crying yes please we don’t want to BECOME Barou…Karasu taking care of baby birds and tullias pokemon…no stop I thought we agreed on no swerving IM SWERVING I’m fr mentally imaging all of this and omg….wait the apron and the jeans and t shirt….its so domestic looking…..im in danger….

SHSHS excited either way!!! I bet the fluctuations are kinda annoying LMAO actually lowk reminds me of bot activity ik there’s a lot of those on twitter

No because what happened to our thinking skills there’s no way Nagi’s getting kicked out be so real…SHSH HELP LMAO ALSO YEAH the princess thing is also something i find annoying like he doesn’t LIKE being called princess…ill also add in that half the time they stick another word in jp on it that gets lost in translation sometimes but they’re explicitly saying like “bossy princess” for lack of a direct translation but whenever they use princess even alone because of that context it’s heavily implied that they’re using it to describe how spoiled chigiri acts…? Like how he takes extra long getting ready at the expense of others, so like how a princess would act like being the center of the world LMAO so yeah his visuals are just a bonus but the nickname is usually a jab at his “my pace” sorta personality lol….ok anyways that rant turned out a lot longer than I expected I find that people misconstruing things because the nuance got lost in translation is my pet peeve although I can’t really fully blame people ig if they don’t get it LOL

When I first saw the SpongeBob my first thought was “me???” but I ignored it because I thought I was being too insane but YESSS KEEP TJEM COMING I love getting silly content honestly even if it’s not bllk related I’m happy to receive anything you find funny I’ll never turn down a good meme NAGI CHIGIRI EDIT wait that one part where chigiri slowly opens his eyes kinda…..um anyways

People filly ignoring the rectangles for building ass background when jjk s2 first aired (they’ve since adjusted it in the blu ray release iirc) but let’s be real none of us are watching it FOR the animation so why are so you pressed….

LMAOOO wait on that note imagine going to the gym with Barou I’d be scared shitless fr I bet he’d be good at making sure you’re doing everything correctly though LOL omg didn’t know we had a gym bro amongst us…/j LMAO wait that routine sounds refreshing lowk??

Also commentary on some posts I scrolled past while getting to your response THE BAROU POST “let’s talk about him OUT of the uniform” IS CRAZY thats actually peak brain performance though that line hits hard im excited to see that scene animated ok but my turn to convert ooooh you wanna convert to hiorism so bad oooh (i need that gif of the hypnosis hand wave) I think I saw the vision after LN digging when I heard there was Karasu content and then ofc nel had some nice panels of him and the rest is history….come join us….i bet pursuit will seal the deal though trust….you know you want to…I’ll admit the vibe feels very different from Karasu and Barou for obvious reasons LMAOO but he’s still got the sassy streak too (unlike isagi) I’m a sucker for duality lowk

- Karasu anon

linkedin always comes through HAHAH my pfp for that is just a random headshot so i figured it worked and ig it did!! omg oaeu yukimiya is abt to be so accurate you’re right

i’m reciting aikulations every time i sit down to write!! the stubble please 😭 using eyeliner to draw it on and whenever someone sees me i’m just like dw abt it i’m oliver aiku (which incidentally is a very aiku thing to say)

okay but…imagine reader is too sad to make the invites…so she gets nagi (and his reuniclus) to do it…and this is what they come up with it

please appreciate my calligraphy/artistic skills LMAOAAO nagi does his best (the handwriting is neat because reuniclus uses its psychic powers to do it not because nagi suddenly took a penmanship class or smth)

no because not to further the swerving agenda but i was listening to music earlier (tik tok audios) and a chemtrails over the country club audio came on my fyp and it’s so karasu x reader coded 🌝 “you’re in the wind” karasu with his birds “i’m in the water” reader with her gyarados “nobody’s son” karasu runs away from the gym to prove himself to yayoi “nobody’s daughter” barou left reader to go on his journey…younger siblings who are desperately pursuing their older siblings (karasu figuratively as he’s pursuing yayoi’s talent and reader literally as she’s pursuing barou wherever he is) UNITE 😰 NAGI COME BACK WE NEED MORE PARALLELS WITH YOU KARASU IS WINNING AGAIN also omg domestic karasu is killing me just imagine him cradling a baby pichu (tullia’s infernape is a boy and eggs are the same species as their mothers + infernape and the pikachu line are in the same egg group so it’s possible) in one arm walking around outside of his gym with a bottle because the pichu’s mother rejected it so it has to be fed formula hourly and tullia’s too busy that day so karasu takes in the role…imagine you just see the intimidating butler coded gym leader walking around babying this little pichu while he has his phone between his ear and shoulder saying bullshit like “you’re a mediocre dumbass otoya why would you send out a fairy type against yukimiya’s fucking steelix bro give up chris prince does NOT want you” LMAOAOAO

yeah i’m sure i have bots following me because i never go through and look at my followers like some people do and delete the bots so there’s def a few!! sometimes someone will have an account that looks like a bot though and they’ll comment on one of my posts and i’m like hello you’re a real person??? so aside from not caring/not having the time or energy to comb through my followers i also don’t want to accidentally remove someone who’s just shy or doesn’t want to set up their account because i get that!!

that’s what i always understood it as!! like they’re making fun of him for being self centered and prissy it’s no different than nagi calling barou “maid barou���/“maid king” HAHAHA whenever people are like “chigiri’s a princess that’s why everyone likes him and thinks he’s pretty 😌” i’m like bro chigiri would genuinely crash out if he heard you rn LMAOAOA honestly i didn’t know abt the japanese extra word but i feel like it’s made relatively obvious that it’s meant to be rude?? like a) chigiri gets annoyed when people call him that, b) isagi straight up says he’s a “selfish princess” at one point, and c) if nagi, karasu, AND otoya (bllk trash talking kings) are calling a character a name it’s safe to assume it is not meant to be kind 😭 LMAOO no because like him or hate him no one can deny that nagi will have a comeback i don’t understand people who genuinely believe he won’t (although i will say i saw a comment calling him “the interviewer” and i had to laugh)

HAHAHA OKAY I WILL KEEP THE EDITS AND MEMES COMING!! you have unleashed a monster…pls no nothing is ever too insane for me that was literally my first thought OSFJJDSN AND YESSS NAGI CHIGIRI DUO ‼️ i completely agree that clip of chigiri is sooo good that’s the chigiri i need people to write about more because it’s who he really is!! like he’s very much more so 😏👹 than he is 😜💖 bro saved isagi from death in the and was fully ready to square up with shidou in the last ep of s1 LMAOAO LET’S TALK ABT IT 👆🏻

i love my routine it’s so fun!! not too high stress or impossible either because the gym should be enjoyable and imo it’s better to do less but be consistent than go crazy for a week, burnout, and never go again 😰 okay ykw i think barou would be sweet to workout with like he’d either leave you alone and be focused on himself or he’d kindly correct you (given that this is off field barou he’s probably used to dealing with his little sisters so he knows how to gently tell someone they’re wrong) actually you know who would be insufferable though??? KARASU 😭 as much as i love him i would never go to the gym with him unless it’s as a spectator because bro is constantly in your business, critiquing you, and he’s a younger sibling (and if his actual older sister is anything like yayoi well…) so he has no concept of sensitivity about it either he’d just be like “yo that squat was mediocre asf do this instead so you don’t suck 🤣” his advice is flawless though because he’s a gym regular (have you seen his quads and arms 🤤 i KNOW bro lifts) but you def cry at least twice per session 😓

HELPP I WAS LIKE WAIT THIS SOUNDS WRONG LET ME INCLUDE THE PANEL I’M REFERENCING no because it’s literally an entire subject of conversation in the barou version of the oaeu that he’s always taking his shirt off LMAOAOA nagi fr cooked calling him the stripper king 😭

i feel like hiori is more in line with nagi when it comes to my favs vs karasu/barou…like pale haired sassy gamer who seems quiet and sweet but is actually secretly brutal at heart?? which one am i referencing 🧐 i think i always imagine wb hiori when i think of him and while i love wb hiori he’s very heavy on the melancholy aspect of his character and not so much the humor and sass potential that he has (it’s touched on a bit in fwtkac but he’s kind of irrelevant and also kind of childish there so it’s not the same) okay wait lowkey now that you mention pursuit imagine spin-off reader inserts with the side characters 🤩 like a hiori x reader but it’s not pursuit reader (who’ll just be referred to as the reluctant champion if she’s mentioned in the spin-offs) it’s someone completely different…or a yukimiya one…or even karasu or otoya…maybe a barou prequel?? the verse is just so developed they’re all honestly possible

wait omg imagine a karasu spin off after he’s a gym leader where he’s like “i’ll never find love” and then he ends up lowkey beefing with the new reader who’s the gym leader of a different gym and slowly ends up falling love and we get to see him all domestic and cute but also as a pro battler and gym leader…BONUS POINTS IF NEW READER HAS A CRUSH ON YUKIMIYA JFCJDNDJS it’s giving “we’ve got five ways to kill a crow at home” the five ways to kill a crow at home:

okay today’s video is a tabiori edit!! do i ship NO (as you know) but the edit itself is cute and this ask has been very karasu and hiori focused so it’s all good

[okietokiee]

bevisa det (prove it) 1/2

This is based off this post that proves Toki Wartooth fucks, possibly even more than Skwisgaar 

Summary: (post-Fertilityklok) Skwisgaar is livid about Toki’s seemingly insatiable sexual appetite. He can’t quite wrap his mind around stupid, childish Toki making his way through that many ladies in one fucking night. Toki proves him wrong. 

Rating: M

Chapters: ½

Pairings: Skwisgaar Skwigelf/Toki Wartooth

Skwisgaar was not a fucking happy bunny.

He had expected to be absolutely glowing with triumph and pride (as was usual for him), especially after completely annihilating Murderface in that sex contest. Though he would’ve won even if he’d slept with only one supple GMILF, it was incredibly rewarding for his ego to increase his normal number of bed partners tenfold just for the hell of it. It was also worth it for the look on Murderface’s face.

But his self-satisfaction was short-lived, because come morning it looked like he wasn’t the only guitarist doing some one-upping.

It wasn’t a big surprise to any of Dethklok that Toki’s e-ladymate’s date didn’t go well. They were trillionaire rockstars in the biggest band in history, monogamy and marriage and all that white picket fence bullshit were honestly impossible with their lifestyle.

Still, Skwisgaar thought Toki’s gullible determination for having a family and children was… well, one, impossible, but also… kind of cute? Eugh, Skwisgaar hated admitting he thought of his rhythm guitarist as anything other than “not as good as him” but Toki was always the most childish member, and of course he’d have some childish notions of marriage and family on his mind. His naivety was adorable.

What was decidedly not adorable was Toki’s sudden backtrack from his goals. Hell, he was sprinting in the opposite direction, falling from grace straight into a life of debauchery.

All of Mordhaus must’ve been aware of this by now. Even Skwisgaar didn’t think him and his bed partners have ever been that disruptive and that was saying a lot.

Because Toki’s apparent coping mechanism for his failed soulmate plan was to bang what seemed like every single willing hole on the planet.

And now Skwisgaar was no prude obviously, but even he had limits, and from what he heard last night it seemed like little Toki didn’t and it was the most arous-infuriating thing ever!

Then, just as Skwisgaar was silently brooding over his morning cup of coffee, in walked his current object or ire.

Toki sauntered in shirtless, hair a mess, and only wearing a pair of loose, low-riding plaid pajama pants. His neck was covered in hickies and his back was red from fresh scratch marks. He was utterly shameless and Skwisgaar was arou-appaled!

“Mornings Skwisgaar,” Toki greeted with a yawn, taking a seat by his friend and waiting for a Klokateer to bring him his usual bowl of lucky charms. He either didn’t notice the livid look on Skwisgaar’s face, or he didn’t care.

“Toki.” Was Skwisgaar’s curt reply.

Once Toki finally received his food he munched happily as Skwisgaar stared him down.

“You seems to be in goods mood Toki.”

“Ja, I hads a good nights sleeps.”

“…I didn’ts hears no sleepins goings on last night,” Skwisgaar muttered.

Toki smirked, “Wells afters I finished with de goyles, we all sleep like the babies!” Toki said proudly, expecting Skwisgaar to deign him with a fist bump or some kinda acknowledgment to the tune of “hell yeah dude.” When that failed to happen he frowned. 

“What’s wrongs?”

Skwisgaar’s barely contained temper finally exploded, “What’s happens was dat you and those goyles kept everyone in de haus awake all night! And how many ladies were dere?! They didn’ts stop coming!” He finished, not noticing his double entendre.

Toki’s expression soured.

“So what’s Skwisgaar?! You does this stuff all the times but whens Toki wants to have some funs den suddenly it’s bad?!” He threw his spoon down, his bratty nature overwhelming his need for sugary cereals. “Ands for yous information I lost counts at arounds one fiftys.” He finished with a smirk.

Skwisgaar was scandalized at this blatant display of disrespect and he slammed the table.

“Ha! Wells I highlys doubts those ladies were satisfied. Poor little Toki, donts know dat you needs to take your times, yous young peoples always in a rush. Donts know how to savor the moments.” he taunted.

Toki followed his lead, slamming the table harder for dramatic effect.

“Fucks you Skwisgaar! Toki knows how to please a ladies better than you ever coulds!”

“Pffft, oh ja? I doubts it”

“I proves it to yous asshole!”

Skwisgaar looked smug, “Ands how little babies Toki does dat?”

Toki glared, “I shows you,” before roughly grabbing Skwisgaar by the neck and crashing their lips together in a messy, fervent kiss.

And Skwisgaar, though he didn’t realize it until that moment, got exactly what he wanted.

___

asjkhfds next chapter will just be smut and will be out tomorrow possibly :^)

[tendousthoughts]

HQ Boys Thinking Their S/O Left Them Pt. 4

Character(s) included: Kenma & Suna

Requested by: My sibling who doesn't read my work lmao.

Warning(s): Cursing, Mention of alcohol [Kenma]

Song of the day: Tired by Beabadoobee

A/N: First off please check out my announcements post. It has a lot of important Information in it and I would really enjoy it if you checked it out! Next this is requested by my wonderful sibling. Hopefully you all enjoy- also how's my new stuff..? Tell me if its ugly lmao.. I recommend having the palette/theme set to Goth Rave for the best look- I might make a few things a darker purple though! This might be the last part to this series unless anyone wants a few more!

Where to find all the parts!

Where to find all my content!

Tag(s): @chibiiichann & @corporeal-terrestrial

Kenma

Things were rough after Kenma landed his dream gig. Being a full time gamer had always been and always would be his dream. But now it was reality. He finally made it in the big league. He was finally there. It was perfect.. but soon enough flaws started to appear outside of his career. Which soon turned into flaws in the relationship. Kenma was known to be smart, calculated, and quiet. Even though all those seemed nice at times it was hard. Like any relationship things didn’t always work out. One of those being the communication. To be frank, there was no communication. At all.

You liked to drink and party. Hang out with friends and just live life to the fullest.. but even if you did like that, you loved just to cuddle. Which luckily you and Kenma shared. As time grew and his career finally branched into what he hoped it would, your time of physical affection shortened. Which sucked.. you loved physical affection. It was your love language. You couldn’t help it, whenever you saw him you just wanted to lay and be with him. But now that you couldn’t, you slowly branched out to others for what you couldn’t have. When that worked.. you just stuck with it. Getting drunk with friends and cuddling until one of your more sober friends called up Kenma and told him to pick you up. Kenma hated it. He really hated it. He hated to see you holding on to someone else, it didn’t matter what they looked like, what they identified as, or who they were. All that mattered was they weren’t him so they had no right to be that close.

Kenma likes to play games and stay home. He liked to be somewhere quiet and such. So every week when he had to go to pick you up, he sorta wondered if he didn’t pick you up what would happen..? Of course he wouldn’t do so though.. you had so many people eyeing you.. you were popular with everyone and extremely kind. So if he did leave you.. it would be as easy as it was for you to get a new cuddle partner as to get a new place to sleep. He trusted you.. well he kind of did. He wasn't good at expressing how he felt especially when it came to you or something you liked.

You got black out drunk the night before and when you walked into the kitchen you felt the heavy atmosphere. “Good morning baby..” you muttered rubbing your eyes. Your lips felt dry and your throat was raspy. Maybe you were screaming or something.. whatever it was fun.

“I don’t want you calling me that at the moment.” He stated. Which caught you off guard. Looking up your eyes were met with his. Clear confusion all over your face. “What? Did you really get that drunk to not remember being all over your friend last night..?  Calling them baby and shit. If that’s a name you just throw around please just refer to me as my name..” He muttered.

“Oh you know I didn’t mean too baby.. I love you and you know that.. you're the only one who makes me happy… but right now I'm having a headache so do you mind passing me the coffee..?” you muttered brushing everything to the side which only made him more frustrated with you. you did this every time. You pushed everything that wasn’t in your interest to the side.

“Look at you doing it again. You always do this,” he looked at you annoyed and frustrated. “Pushing everything to the side. Do you not understand how annoying it is to get a call at three in the morning that you're drunk. Not only that but that you're all over someone else. Do you not understand or do you just not care because seriously it's getting hard to think that you are just that, your heads just that blank.”

You were caught off guard. Of course you were, he never responded roughly like that. He never acted so upset with you. To be honest you never really thought about how he had to pick you up and stuff. You never thought about what happened the night before to be frank. You were a party drunk. You liked to sing and dance and cuddle and such. All the things Kenma couldn’t or wouldn’t do with you, you did with anyone else when you were drunk. It wasn’t that you wanted to blame being drunk on acting that way, so you just waited till you did get drunk. It was more, when you were sober you tried to get Kenma to do those things with you. Which most of the time ended badly because you would just be shut down again. “You know I don’t mean to do those things.”

“You don’t mean too?” He looked upset, really upset. You saw him upset often, frustrated with how the game was turning out and such, but this was different. He looked more hurt than anything. “You do it every week. Every single week you go out and drink you go out and party and sing and dance and have the fucking time of your life okay? Then when your all tired and cuddled up with a friend. I get a call to pick you up. When I get there you're either on their lap with your arms around them, on their side and holding them tight, or in between their legs as they cuddle you from the back. Not only that but when I try and help you up you more then half the time push me away, and then say you wanna go home with your ‘baby’! I’m getting sick and tired of it. You wake up the next morning and act as if the whole night you were just thinking of me and how you just wanna cuddle and all this shit. I am so fucking sick of you this. I’m so sick of you drinking. I am so fucking sick of you.” He was shouting. He was pissed and of course he was. But this time he just blew up. He didn’t even wait for a response to anything. “I’m going to go stream don’t fucking bug me.” He walked away walking into his streaming room. Once they slam the door leaving you in utter shock.

It took you a moment to take in everything. You messed up. It was your fault. He was hurt. Your lover was in pain because of your stupid actions. You grabbed your stuff, shoving it into your pocket and walked out. It was hard to think of anything but Kenma right now. Slowly you walked to the park. The leaves fell from the trees, when you looked around you saw couples wearing matching scarves and such. The smell of chai and pumpkin in every corner. Meeting your gaze you saw Kenma’s favorite bakery. Slowly you walked over opening the door and you immediately noticed this pie section. You made your way over biting your lip and you looked up at the sudden voice.

“Y/n.. is that you?” As you eye’s met the other you immediately recognized Bokuto.

“Oh hey.. nice to see you again.” You smiled weakly. Unfortunately your eyes were wet and glossy as soon as you walked into the bakery, and you didn’t know if you could handle pushing down the tears anymore.

“Where’s Kenma..? Are you okay..?” He asked softly, gently rubbing your back as he seemed to be alone at the moment. You didn’t wanna cause any more issues but you couldn’t help it, immediately you started to cry.

“I messed up, I really messed up..” you mutter as he gently leads you to a seat.

“Hey everything will be okay.. just tell me what’s wrong. I know you can work through it okay..? We can do it!” he smiled. He had always been a big brother to you. He knew just what to say to calm you down.

“I got drunk again and this time I just was a mess I guess.. and Kenma seems to be getting tired of me and me doing this. Doing all this dumb shit and messing around. But I just.. I don’t know. I wanna cuddle and hug and go on dates. But Kenma just got his dream job and I don’t wanna fuck it up. I know its so fucking selfish. I shouldn’t do this to him. I know I shouldn’t. I deserve to get yelled at and stuff I mean seriously.. he has to pick me up at three every fucking week because I’m to stupid to tell him how I feel and how I just want to be held and stuff. I just wonder sometimes.. Maybe I am not as perfect as I thought I was for Kenma. He needs someone who can be there for him all the time and I know I just know that I will keep fucking up..” You were shaking. “I mean seriously.. I am not even able to tell him I love him much less tell him about how his job is bugging me. It’s the one thing he wanted to do. The one fucking thing he really wanted to do. I just wasn’t able to support him.. I couldn’t.. I just keep hurting him..” tears were rolling down your face.

“Y/n.. hey it's okay, but he will never know anything if you keep holding it to yourself. Kenma has always been like that. He gets bugged by things but won’t say anything until he is at his limit. He never understood the importance of communication.. and he never ever takes the first steps okay? I understand that you're frustrated but you knew when you got into a relationship with him what type of person he is. You knew he was hard to understand. You told me you did. But I don’t think that you would give up this easily. You and him are the same, there will never be an understanding between you too if you guys don’t talk it out. Okay..? I suggest you get some pie and walk back to talk it out with him. I mean to be honest his stream today seems to be a mess. So it must really be bugging him and it would be better to figure it out sooner don’t you think..?” He smiled softly as you nodded. “Good. I have to go but look if you ever need to talk just message me okay? I’ve got your back!” He smiled, getting up and walking out.

You got up and bought two slices of apple pie and started to walk back. It was going to be tough to do this but you needed to. You knew you needed too.

Kenma couldn’t stay concentrated so the stream only lasted ten minutes before he turned it off and went back out to the living room. Which is when he found out you had left. Sadly his first thought was that you had gone drinking so he called up one of your friends to ask. When he found out you hadn’t he was even more worried. He looked around for a moment before he sat on the couch and held a pillow waiting. Hoping you would come back home. He wanted to fix this. He went too far. He knew he did. He knew he did of course he did. He knew he blew up, he always did and he tried not to but it was so fucking hard.

When you came into the room you immediately saw him lying on the couch cuddled up and crying. “What have I done..” You whispered softly as you made it next to you gently placed the pie down and looked at him. “I am sorry..” he looked up to you a bit and immediately his face changed.

“Oh thank god you're okay..” he whispered softly, “I didn’t me-”

You cut him off, “I messed up. I knew I did and I just want you to listen okay? I love you and I know I rarely say it. For a matter of a fact I can count the amount of times I’ve said it with one hand. I know I need to say it more okay? I know I shouldn’t drink but it is just really hard sometimes.. I just wanna go on dates and hold you and shit and I know it sounds so fucking stupid but sometimes I just get worried that if I do you will get sick of me faster okay..? So I just thought it would be easier to do it with my friends and stuff and get drunk and try to not bug you. You just got your dream job and I just don’t wanna fuck anything up more but I clearly have. I know I’m stupid and inconsiderate and I will think about it more.. just please don’t leave. Please. I will be better I swear.” You tried not to cry but you couldn’t help yourself.

Slowly he pulled you to him and held you tight. “I wasn’t planning to leave you anytime soon.. It is my fault I always don’t pay attention and It ends up hurting you and I know I should try and think about your feelings more. But I get scared to ask about it because I think if I do then you will think something is wrong but clearly that doesn’t work. So I will try to open up more okay.. I love you so much babe.. I love you.” He whispered softly, kissing your forehead.

“I love so so much too.. I love you..” You whispered. It would take time but soon everything would be perfect.. everything would be okay again.

Suna

It was hard to believe that Suna was still playing volleyball. It wasn’t a problem to you at all, to be frank you were glad that he decided to do something he loved. You were glad he wasn’t stuck at a desk all day. It just sucked when he came home all tired and unable to hang out. But maybe it would be the same either way. It just bugged you when he didn’t come home till like twelve and blamed it on practice. You didn’t wanna think that he was lying to you but you never really knew much about volleyball. It could be easily right but it just ticked you off that he came home so late. Claiming that he already had dinner and stuff. But there wasn’t anything you could really do about it. This was his passion. He loved to play volleyball and all you could do was give him your undying love and support.You worked hard, enjoying your job. Though it also got frustrating when your schedules conflicted so you couldn’t hang out but that was just life. There wasn’t anything you could do about it, and that was okay.

Suna got home late again. It was the middle of the night when you heard the shower start. He didn’t even say hello. He knew you were up. He had to know. You always were up when he came in. Mainly because you wanted to make sure he was okay when he got back. You wanted to make sure he got back. You were worried easily but it was going to be okay. Of course it was. You just had to tell yourself everyday and it would be true.. right?

When Suna walked into the room he slowly slipped next to you. “Sorry about the wait angel.. I promise soon I will have time off okay and we can hang out.” He muttered softly as his warm, soft arms wrapped around you. The smell of cherry blossoms radiated off of him. He used your hair wash sometimes, he claimed it made him feel like you were with him all the time and that made him happy. His wet hair touched your back as he held you close.

It was hard to be mad at him when he got like this. He was so soft when he was tired. He always made the same promise. At the beginning you believed him, you waited for it to happen but at this point you just tried to forget that he even said it because it just hurt you more. Of course it did. You were holding on to this stupid hope that he will get more time to hang out. That hope that soon everything would be okay. “It’s okay baby.. get some rest okay..?” You muttered softly. You turned your head slightly, kissing his head as you faced the front again. Closing your eyes you hoped everything would be okay once more.

The morning came quickly. The sun shone through the blinds, then the feeling of coldness hit as you turned over to the empty bed. Heh. What were you thinking? Did you really think that he was going to wait for you..? God sooner or later you really had to realize this relationship was more one sided then anything. That this thing was going to be a forever relationship. But god fuck, this was just as real as a fake relationship. It was only one when it was a relationship when it was convenient. It sucked but none of his teammates even knew about you and him being in a relationship. It sucked to feel like you were being forced to be hidden. It almost felt like he was embarrassed of you. It had gone on long enough. You were so fucking done. This was too hard to hold on.

After packing a bit you got up and grabbed your stuff. Getting up you headed out taking your car to one of your only friend’s houses. It was hard to have a conversation with him let alone try and explain how you felt. So you decided to take a night off from seeing him, and try and clear your head. You didn’t wanna break up, fuck that was the last thing you wanted to do. You decided not to leave a note.. secretly kind of hoping it would make him a bit worried or something. So you knew he actually noticed.. or actually liked you. Suna always had a ‘I don’t give a fuck’ additude and that was one of the big reasons you were drawn to him. He was always so free, he didn’t care what people had to say about him.. Something you wished you could have but it really didn’t matter because he had you back, back then.

After a few hours of hanging out your friend took your phone away from you, being that you had been waiting for a call from Suna. They powered it off and placed it on a shelf gently slipping next to you. They smiled. You and them were alway close. They had been with you for every break up and to be honest you even tried dating, though it didn’t work out it was a great experience and you would still have done it to this day. When night struck instead of waiting for Suna you actually were kind of relieved the fear of him not coming home kind of slipped off your shoulders as you laid down next to your friend. Closing your eyes you hoped for everything to get better. You wished that he would be able to get some free time and such.

On the other hand when Suna came home he did what he always did, take a shower and head to bed. But this time you weren’t there, you weren't waiting for him. He looked around almost instantly running to check if your shoes were there, which they weren’t. Now a bit shaken up he took a deep breath and walked over to check if anything else was missing. Once he did it kind of hit him harder than expected. Running to grab his phone he began to call you. It was too late out and it was pitch black, fear had settled in as he realized what could have happened. All the things that could have happened, might have happened. He immediately put on his shoes, his hair still wet. God even knows he can hear you to dry his hair before he leaves, in hope he won't get sick. He unlocked his car calling you for the third time, unsurprisingly he heard the same voice mail.

“Hey this is y/n! It seems you are trying to reach me. At the moment I might be busy or have missed your call! Please try and call again or leave a message. I promise to get back to you as soon as I can!”

It had been a wet month as the rain hit the floor but Suna didn’t seem to mind. So maybe he was being over dramatic but you never have been away from him during the night from the day you guys started dating. So for you not even to mention that you weren’t going to be home was fucking with him. He did the next best thing, calling your best friend. Lucky for him they picked up. “Hey is y/n there.. they're not picking up and I really wanna make sure they're okay..” he muttered his breath was loud. Almost as if he was having trouble breathing and such.

“Ya, do you wanna pick them up they seem to be having trouble sleeping.. and it seems like you guys need to work through a few things so maybe it would be best if you did..'' They were surprised that he called. It wasn’t that he didn’t love you or anything, it was just that it didn’t always seem like he was that interested in you, as if being convenient to them and such. So for him to call up your friend was quite unexpected.

When Suna arrived he got out and knocked on the door after being met with your friend, “I’m only telling you this once so listen to me. Y/n loves you okay? If you're not interested just let them be okay? There are a bunch of people who would kill to be with them. If you do not have the time for them please just let them be, so they can find someone who can take care of them when they need someone too. Y/n is quiet about their feelings but that doesn’t mean you can only be with them when it is convenient to you, let alone only at night. If you don’t want to step up please just step down and let someone else fill your role for you. They are hurting to much because of your actions and you don’t seem to ever fucking care. Please just let them go if you're done.. This game has been over a long time ago. You won okay. You always will be against y/n..” they moved to the side letting the startled Suna in. “They're over there, if you don’t wanna carry them it is okay just call me over because I don’t want them to be woken up.” Suna shook his head gently. How fucking dare they assume that this was all a game to him. How dare they assume that he didn’t actually love you..? Why did they assume those things..?

Suna picked you up gently, gently you clung to him and his warmth. It was cold in the room and Suna seemed to be the only solution to it. It surprised Suna quite a lot, finding out that you were clinging to him. Being that at night he always hugged you, but you just wanted to give him space so he wouldn’t be bored of you. “Hey angel sorry for making you wait all these nights.. I promise I will be there okay.. please don’t move on I really do love you.. your my everything and I know it is stupid of me to talk to you while your asleep but sometimes I get to nervous to talk to you and I just want everything to be okay with you. Your friend is right though.. There is no excuse for what I am doing to you. I am so sorry.. angel trust me I really love you. I would be so fucking lost without you.” he muttered holding on to you tightly as he grabbed your stuff and carried you out. It was still raining as he tried his best to shelter you from the rain running to the car as he placed you in the front. It took him a moment to get you comfortable or at least that what he hoped was comfortable. He had placed a blanket on you and buckled you up as he moved to the front and started driving. It was a good thirty minute drive, and he knew soon you guys had to go back to go get your car but at this moment all he was worried about was you. “God angel.. I can’t compete with everyone else after you.. why did you choose me.. why are you still with me..?” he muttered. He gently held your hand as he looked out. You were always so cold. Suna on the other hand was like a walking heat source. Maybe because he was so big that he could hold you tight and stuff and it just made it feel warmer or something but it worked better than you could imagine.

It took a bit of time but soon you had arrived, sadly the rain hadn’t eased up. Suna got out first picking you up as he wrapped the blanket around you so you wouldn’t get cold or wet. You shifted around in his arms. “mm..” you muttered your eyes fluttering open with the feeling of his arms again and the feeling of movement. You held on tightly to Suna, “Baby..?” you grumbled softly confused where you were and what you were doing. Why was he here? More importantly, how did he find you.. did he really care? God it felt great to think that he did.

“Ah I’m sorry for waking you angel.. close your eyes I’ve got you now.. that house was too cold. I’ve got you now. We are home so you can be nice and warm again okay..? Don’t worry I’ve got you now so everything will be okay. I am going to take a break from practice for the week okay..? I am going to ease up on the practice so you won’t have to worry. I love you so much. I know I haven’t been a good boyfriend and I know I need to step it up. Will I be okay? Don’t worry I am going to be better for you okay. I am sorry about everything I’ve done to hurt you and I am going to do my best to make you feel better.. and if it doesn’t help I will let go okay. I’m going to finally let you breathe but please just give me just one more chance. I know I love you, and I know I don’t show it but I promise I do. If I didn’t please tell me what was that pain in my chest when I didn’t see you, I know I sound stupid I know I do but I know I really do love you. Hearing what your friend said and I know they're right but it just hit me. I am not ashamed of you.. you know that right..? I just don't want my team to know because last time when word got out I was dating someone the pressure was to muc. on them and the new articles and stuff and I just don’t wanna pressure you. I don’t want us to end because of that. I want everything to be perfect. I know I come home late, I just.. I don’t know. I know it is too much on you and I don't want that I just don’t everything to be over because of an argument that could have been avoided if I just you know.. not came home or something. I know it is no excuse but I am telling the truth please believe me. I can’t live without you.. I love you so much please baby.. fuck. I keep rambling. I am sorry angel. get some rest we will talk about this in the morning..” he muttered softly walking inside and gently placing you in bed as he walked and changed coming back as soon as he could.

You were wide awake.. but you just wanted to wait so you knew he would still be there when you woke up. So you knew he wouldn’t be gone before anything. So you knew he wasn’t lying anymore. “Night baby..” you muttered as his arms wrapped around you.

“Good night angel.. I love you so much..” He muttered, closing his eyes.

When the morning came you were surprised when you felt his body tight around you. “Morning my angel..” he muttered. “Did you get some good rest..?”

“Good morning.. mhm.. thank you for staying.. you don’t understand how worried I was that you were going to leave before I could say anything.. But thank you. I love you so much okay.. and I don’t what my friend said but please ignore him.. I only love you.. I will only ever love you. Please try and stay home more. It is getting hard to handle and I know it is selfish but I just want you to stay longer sometimes. I know you want the best for me but please.. it makes me feel like you actually don’t love me and I know it is wrong but I get scared and I don’t want to be.. please believe me when I say that I can handle it.. I just wanna be with you more. I just want to be what you want. I love you so much..” You were trying not to cry but you were.

“Angel… I love you so much. I will tell the whole world.. I want to. Will I be okay? I will stay with you till you wake up and eat Breakfast with you. I will come home sooner so you're not scared anymore.. I’ve got you and everything I’ve ever wanted so please don’t cry.. I love you so fucking much angel..” he whispered kissing you. This felt good.. refreshing, you felt okay for the first time in a while. You felt happy. You were going to be alright now, he was going to keep you safe and you would do the same thing. You loved each other and that's all that would ever matter because you two were made for each other.

Follows and likes are appreciated! Please reblog if you enjoyed it, so more people can find my work! Thank you all for your support! Stay safe, and have a good rest of your day!

[triggerhappyimagines]

How about the V3 boys, (the ones who died) with a s/o whos the Ultimate Spirit Medium/Necromancer and they call the spirit of the dead character? I just wanna see some scenarios/hc's of that, if u could do it that'd be gr8! If not thats okay, i understand ^^

hey everyone, long time no see! sorry for sort of vanishing for a while, i’ve been super busy with school and my job and kind of lost interest in danganronpa for a little bit,,,, but i’m back and i’m gonna try my best to get through the requests in our inbox and maybe even try and finish a few more of the october prompts (if you guys would still be interested in seeing those!!).

anyways, sorry for the long wait on your request, anon! this was one i had started a few months ago back when i was writing regularly and i finally buckled down and finished it!! i decided to do all the v3 boys (except kiibo because uhhh hes a robot) instead of just the ones who died in canon to avoid spoilers for anyone who hasn’t finished the game yet!! i apologize if some of these seem repetitive i sorta started running out of ideas by the end lmao. i hope you enjoy, anon!

warnings: mentions of death/dying (obviously), general angst

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ:

Shuichi Saihara

— to say the least, Shuichi is a little shaken up now that he’s gone and you’re... well, not.

— he always told you he’d stay by your side forever, and he feels guilty. he feels like he broke a promise

— but... you talk to him again that first night. you say his name and look straight at him. can you see him? no, it couldn’t be... right?

— of course, once he puts all the pieces together, it all makes sense

— you’re the ultimate spirit medium, for goodness sakes! of course you can see him and speak to him the same way you would any other living person

— after a while, Shuichi stops feeling so guilty for leaving you. partially because it doesn’t feel quite like he’s abandoned you, and also because you reassure him that he didn’t do anything wrong by dying

— i mean, come on, it’s not his fault he got killed! how could you ever hold that against him?

— still, it takes him some time to come to terms with everything.

— though he loves you, he still finds it sad that he can never speak to anyone else ever again. at least, not without your aid.

— but as long as he has you by his side to help him cope... he knows he’ll be alright

— after all, he loves you, and you love him. and that’s enough to give him the strength he needs to keep from falling apart.

Rantaro Amami

— he's still very protective of you, despite the fact he’s merely a spirit now

— he’s always right by your side, no matter what.

— even when you aren’t able to take a moment to talk to him, or even look in his direction, Rantaro is right there

— if he were still alive, the way he now follows you around all the time may seem obsessive and creepy, but you actually appreciate it

— nobody else can see or speak to him but you, which makes his constant presence comforting, in a way

— Rantaro isn’t able to touch you in the same way he could when he was alive, but nonetheless, he still tries

— he’ll try to place his hand atop yours, or wrap his arms around your figure, but he always just passes straight through you

— you find the chill that blossoms on your skin where he touched you comforting; it’s a reminder that even though he’s gone, he’s still there with you

— it breaks his heart that he can’t truly be with you, but he tries not to focus on his own problems too much

— after all, your happiness is much more important to him than his own; you are his priority

— you’ll have to remind him that it’s okay for him to be sad, and that he shouldn’t bottle up his own emotions to be there for you

— he’ll want to keep being the person to take care of you, and watch out for you, but he needs you to be that person for him

Kokichi Ouma

— you didn’t really think Kokichi would start behaving himself just because he’s dead, did you?

— honestly he uses the fact only you can see and speak to him to his advantage

— good luck trying to keep your cool around other people while he’s off being a clown right in front of you

— but of course, he’s not all fun and games

— i mean... he’s dead. and that sucks

— he probably won’t show it, at least not right away, but he doesn’t like the feeling of separation between you two

— sure, he’s still around, but not like before. before, he could surprise you with a kiss or a suffocating hug, but he just can’t do that anymore

— it hurts. really bad.

— but he knows he’ll be okay. he know’s he’ll get used to it someday, as long as he has you with him to cheer him up when he gets especially sad

— you’re his sunshine, and he may not show it, but he needs you. so don’t leave him all alone, okay?

Gonta Gokuhara

— lets be honest... Gonta has the hardest time of the bunch adjusting to being nothing more than a spirit

— you’ll likely have to give him a lot of comfort. he’s confused, and he misses being able to be with you for real :(

— the hardest part for him is no longer being able to touch you

— he longs to feel your lips press gently against his cheek, to lay in your lap as your hands comb through his hair... he’d give anything to hold you in his arms again...

— unlike Rantaro, he’s not content with merely passing through your body when he makes contact with you

— it just... upsets him. it’s a cruel reminder that his life ended, and that he will never get to hold you, kiss you, and just love you the way he could before his life ended

— be patient with him, please... he’ll adapt eventually... but it could take a while

— just make sure to remind him how much you love him, he’ll need a lot of reassurance and comfort from you

Kaito Momota

— surprisingly, Kaito adapts to the situation pretty well

— if he is struggling with any sort of major emotions, he’s doing a stellar job of hiding it from you. and you hate that

— you don’t totally believe him when he says he’s okay, or when he tells you not to worry about him

— you know him better than that. it doesn’t make sense to you. he just died for crying out loud! he can never follow his dreams, never have the future he always wanted with you

— and you don’t understand how he can just shrug all that off and continue being your boyfriend like normal

— you confront him about it one night. he’s laying on his back, hovering beside you as you read (Kaito loves being able to float around in midair. perks of being a ghost, right?)

— "how can you be okay?" you blurt out suddenly. he looks at you, confused.

— you continue, asking all the questions that had been gnawing at you for days, and when you finally finish, he just laughs

— "of course i’m upset. but it’s a man’s job to protect the ones he loves! and being there for you is much more important than staying upset about this." he explains

— you can’t help but feel a little stupid. he’d always put you first, always prioritized your needs over anyone else’s, even his own. and he wasn’t about to stop just because he died

— fortunately for you, he isn’t upset with you sort of asking him why the hell he wasn’t a huge, depressed mess.

— in fact, he thinks it’s really sweet that, despite the fact you should be worried about yourself so you don’t end up joining him in the afterlife, you spent your energy fussing over him

Korekiyo Shinguji

— with Kiyo, not much changes. at least, not on his end.

— he’s very fascinated by the mere notion of being a spirit and has the time of his life unlife getting used to his new body

— at first you’re happy for him. i mean, it’s good that he’s not struggling, right? shouldn’t you want him to feel okay? you wouldn’t want him to suffer in sadness like you, right?

— but he’s so enthralled with his new state of being he... almost forgets to check up on you

— and even when he does spend time with you, it almost feels like all he does is talk about himself and the new things he’s discovered about being a spirit

— it’s frustrating, to say the least. you know you didn’t truly lose him, but it feels like you did

— when you finally tell him that you feel like he’s changed, he’s confused

— when Kiyo hears you say how much you miss him, how you feel like he’s so different now, he’s kinda just like ???????

— how could he be different? it’s still him, don’t you know that?

— after a long night of reflecting while you sleep (not needing rest is one of the many perks of being a spirit), Kiyo realizes what he’s been doing wrong

— you used to love when he’d talk to you endlessly about his work, his research, etc.

— but now, when he’d ramble on for hours about new things he’d learned thanks to being a mere spirit, it was just another painful reminder to you that he was dead. that he was gone.

— the moment he gets a chance, he apologizes to you. it’s a bit of an emotional moment for both of you, being the first time either of you have confronted the end of Kiyo’s life head on

— he tries to hold you, but all you feel is an icy chill where his flesh would have met yours, but oddly enough... it doesn’t make you feel worse

— you’d anticipated another tsunami of your own tears after Kiyo’s body passed through yours, but it’s comforting, albeit in a morbid way

— he’s gone, but you haven’t lost him. and you’ll never lose him; he’ll remind you of that every day if he has to

Ryoma Hoshi

— man, if you thought ryoma’s attitude and general outlook on life was depressing before, you’ve got a big storm coming

— for a long time after his death, he’s very... cold. to everyone and everything

— he’s upset. but not because he’s dead, but because he can’t protect you anymore

— being there for you, to defend you and keep you safe, had become his raison d’être, so to speak

— he knows you can still see him and talk to him. he’s not stupid. but he pretends he doesn’t hear you at first. part of him thinks that if he shuts you out long enough, you’ll come to your senses and realize you should be upset with him

— but you never do. despite what he thinks he deserves, you never turn on him, never give up on him, never stop loving him

— with time, he’ll come around and start learning to cope with his own death, and the fact you outlived him

— and you’ll be there with him every step of the way (whether he likes it or not)

[infisonicosm-moved]

hey!

so, i just sorta ?? idk lmao joined the gvf fandom and honestly their fans are so fuckin intimidating… scares the fuck outta me. i don’t interact with nobody, especially on twitter .. twitter freaks me out the most because it’s like ?? some fans are just sooo possessive over the boys. idk. i think it’s weird as fuck. makes me not enjoy bein in the fandom tbh so i just keep to myself and listen to their music n enjoy the content they put out . ♡

i have no friends in this fandom (i really wish i did cause in other fandoms it’s a lot easier to make friends) idk why it’s so hard for me to just reach out to someone in this fandom . lmao i sound like a pussy but oh well !!

also, should i buy tickets to see them in philly (oct 1st) ?? like.. i want to SOO much and im such a sammy girl i wanna see my baby live n killin it (and all the boys ofc) but i feel like i would feel so left out or like .. (idk?? uncomfortable??… idk the right words to use & i don’t wanna piss nobody off) if i went to see them live .. ok, i probably sound insane im so sry ! love ur acc <33

I totally understand your hesitation. It's valid. I was scared to really interact with anyone in the fandom too. There are genuinely so many sweet and loving people in this fandom. My messages are always open if you wanna make a friend. I'm always open to talking to new people!

I totally think you should! Go see them! I've made friends with people in concert lines and been adopted into groups! There's FB groups for the tour dates where you can meet people going. Never feel intimidated to reach out for advice. You don't sound insane at all! I was in your position at one point as I'm sure many others were as well.<3

[justalilpearlie]

Introduction/Fun Pearlie Facts

Was abt time I did one of these.

Hello everyone, my name is Pearl, Pearlie or Sam/Sammy if you're feeling like it. Friends also call me Martini sometimes.

I am a minor, my labels... we dont talk about them (fem presenting ftm gay/mlm + trying out gendervoid and verinix + bigender??) uhmm and I go by He/She, tho mostly He/Him by strangers- I can She/Her myself and close friends/mutuals are allowed! (I also go by neos: Void/Moon/Sweet/It/Fluff/Love/Fizz/Paw)

I'm from Argentina, born and raised, never moved. Speak fluent english and spanish.

I got the 'tism and the adhd, aswell as BPD and a few other things I wont list right now! But yeah I'm psychotic (ooo scary word.. lmao)

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I'm an IRL of many, mainly c!Pearl (mcyt), Samuel Emily (fnaf [games canon]) and Shin Tsukimi (yttd). If you don't like it you can leave, block me, or whatever, cause you aint gonna change my life or how I am. I'm in therapy, which unlike random hate and harrassment online, does help me :)

I like to roleplay, draw, sometimes make playlists or moodboards.. And my biggest interests right now are Life Series (+ evo + new life), Empires1(+ a bit of e2) and FNaF! (i dont rlly like the books tho lol..)

I use kin tags for reach cause I'd love interaction from any fellow lifers or empires ppl, hermits aswell!! Tho I havent finished s8 or s9 yet...

Fictionkins, therians and traumagenic systems all welcome!

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DNI prefferably:

- Basic DNI criteria (proshippers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, TERFs, ableist, etc)

- Endos/non-traumagenic "systems" DNI. block me if u want, i wont argue abt it in the comments/reblogs. or interact if u want but im not gonna follow u back or anythin shrugs.

- reality checkers or anti-IRLs DNI. I aint "romanticizing" shit, I'm existing and living my life, if thats a problem to you too bad cause my psychologist aproves of what I'm doing, since I aint harming anyone and I myself am doing dandy.

- anti-kin also DNI cause most of my friends are fictionkins and if you talk shit abt my fellas idk i wouldnt like having u around much

CCs interact at your own risk. This is my domain, cyan man & moon lady. /hj

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"Disclaimer"

- I talk about MajorMoon (Scott x Pearl) a LOT, if u didnt notice by the acc theme. These are my romantic memories, its a gay ship, not woman/gay man, so if it makes u uncomfortable or u hate it or whatever then ur probably not gonna like my content lmao. COUGH, consider joining us if you do like what you see... /nf We're a small comunity of supporters.. just me.. and a few of my peeps... that was a joke, sir. /ref

- This isn't roleplay, its my main acc where im ""unapologetically"" myself, but if u do wanna rp life series/empires u can always shoot me a dm and maybe I'll give u my discord.

- I talk about myself (c!Pearl) using 3rd person in many posts tagged with main fandom tags. This is to cause less confusion to casual fans slash ""normies"" (lhj) that well.. don't know what IRLs are! Also that way I feel safer and don't have to worry as much abt getting harassed and such for my identity.

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Special People Mentions!! fps = * (1 or more.. wouldnt say in a priority sorta order but. more or less yea)

Family! <3 🌼@pehpurr* SISTER!! super duper cool, her art is great and you should check it out!! YOU. You're the brightest little girl (i say like ur not older than me) I'VE EVER MET ACTUALLY! You're so passionate and loving I freaking adore you!! I love you so much Scar, you're one of the best things to ever happen to me, Kanny &lt;3 ⚙️@gentlexmadman DAD!! you are my daaaad, you're my dad! woogie woogie woogie! ANOTHER amazing artist! mr "I know that guy-", very funny, Henry "Autism" Emily... the copper king, my father. Speaking to you is always comforting. Love you so much papa, you're amazing :)

Simply special <3 ☕@insomniac-coffeehouse** You're all simply so very special to me. I love spending time with you guys and playing stuff together, you mean a lot to me and I'm so glad I met you. I hope we're still close for this year and many more! You're incredibly talented, not only at art, at everything you do. You spark joy in my brain and my heart <3 From the bottom of my heart, I'm in love with the hope you bring to this world. 🍊Jack***, oh my dear Jacky, where do I even begin, sport... you really are my other half. Mi media naranja if you will. haha.. I love every second we spend together, I love your voice, I love your eyes, I love your smile, your laughter. I love your use of words, the way you speak, your humor, your seriousness and goofiness. You stiff fuck, you were made for me and I was made for you, and I wouldn't have it any other way. You're my everything, mi vida, mi luz, mi estrella. Mi amor, mi mundo. <3

New friends! 🍓@strawberrystarfield I know we met fairly recently but you're all incredibly fun to talk to, your art is also amazing, your accent is real pretty (cough for a bri-💥), you're real sweet and I love reading all your thoughts and critiques about things :} (love ya Aspen /gen) 🏜️@fagdykegtws My right hand man! I know we just met through the rarepair server but oh my god we're in the same brainwave!!! You're so fun to vc and chat with and you got the best ideas ever fr fr, love ya Chewy, you're real sweet even w how lil i know you ;)

That's it folks, love yall and see you around!

[celestialblushxoxo]

Hiii, hope you’re day is going great 😌

My initials: CD

My pronouns: she/her

My preference/sexuality: men/straight

Thank you so much☺️

Hey angel, I hope your doing great as well, I've been waiting to answer you cause you've been nothing but sweet🥺💗 Happy New Year and hope you have a beautiful year ahead and also enjoy your reading✨

Ok so your person comes from a very stable and loving family. They were brought up with all their needs and wants taken care of and they had a fulfilling childhood. They are someone very joyful and confident with good self esteem as their parents, since childhood always encouraged them to go for things like competitions and debates and what not like you know. Your person is bubbly and very sweet individual, may have many friends as well. They may love to celebrate festivals or any small celebration as well, they just need an excuse to celebrate lmao. Very free spirited and they love their family a lot. They don't have any dark past or something, touchwood, their life has always been going good and joyful. They have lotta love to give and offer. Very beautiful person inside out. They are very welcoming and have good intuition. They maybe an empath as well. Sometimes they may think with their heart in situations where the head's judgement is required but it isn't that serious. You will feel at home with them, your safe space. They are so pure omg like they'll spoil you and love you so so much, they'll appreciate everything you do to the extent they are ready to worship the ground you walk on like you'd do the same honestly. You'll be that couple you know who is so in love it's almost surreal, people will be like ok so yeah there are men like that in this world or love like this exists hmmm. Like imagine the lovers card, y'all maybe twin flames or soulmates/divine counterparts, whatever you resonate with. They will literally be your dream person. They are very honest as well, like y'all will share everything with each other🥺💗 look wise they may have beautiful hair and hands. May have big plans or long fingers or both. Not very muscular but toned. Sunkissed skin. Curly hair. Hair maybe dark or light with dark tints or vice versa. Possibly mixed race. Soft eyes. Very gentle aura. Hair could be slightly long. Omg this is😶 they may have a long you know😶 yeah moving on lmao their features maybe very long like limbs, fingers, nose maybe like that. Financially they are doing very very well and they are content with where they are like it's very stable and he is well to do. They maybe in a high position. They are very emotionally as well as mentally stable and healthy. Very understanding and they feel deeply. They are very youthful and fun loving. They maybe worried about people hurting them cause they haven't been through that phase before thankfully so that's that. But they are a very sweet person like you may constantly wanna hug and kiss them cause they are so freakin adorable. They may love to crack jokes and make you laugh and say cheesy things like You are so sweet my love, do wanna give me diabetes lmaoooo something like that ahhh. Others/their close ones may see them as a true romantic, charming, loving, nurturing, caring, protective, generous, kind, pure, peaceful, angelic, honest, calm, understanding, patient, little inflexible when it comes to adapting, sorta a dreamer but a beautiful soul. Right now they are working hard on their career and may not be looking for love because they want to stand on their feet before they commit in a relationship, they want to make sure they are in a position to provide for you even tho they appreciate you being your individual self, they are a provider. They're love language may include words of affirmation, actually you know what all 5 tbh. Very very sweet and loving person, charming and literally so humble and kind, they are a dreamboat and you will feel lucky to have found each other and there's no where else you'd rather be in than each other's arms.

Possible placements: Cancer, HUGE WATER PLACEMENT, little fire and earth, air not much but could be

Side note: they may love Greece or may have that decent and even beaches

Possible fashion aesthetic:

Hope you enjoyed the reading and moodboard love, do let me know if you liked it or not, it helps me improvise! Thank you so much for being patient and hope you have a beautiful day ahead🦋💗✨

[katara0524]

Impromptu Ramblings about the NEO:TWEWY Demo

In case y'all weren't aware, I've been a pretty big fan of TWEWY for a couple years now, and with the sequel coming out next month, the excitement I feel for this game is greater than ever :) I played the Demo for the first time yesterday, and following a couple views of some livestreams of others playing it, I felt like sharing my (very ramble-y) thoughts prior to the release of the full game. This post WILL contain spoilers for both TWEWY and NEO:TWEWY, so if you want to avoid those from now on, please block the tags: #twewy spoilers, #ntwewy spoilers, #neo twewy spoilers, #ntwewy, and #neo twewy ^_^ Oh, and if you wanna keep up with any other posts I make about my experience with this game, please refer to the tag "kat plays neo twewy" :)

-First things first: I have not watched the Final Trailer and I don't plan on doing so to avoid spoilers, especially after the pre-release era of KH3 where a lot of the later trailers spoiled a lot of the endgame content. That being said, I've seen some minor screenshots from the final trailer including what many believe to be characters from the original TWEWY, namely Shiki and Joshua. That is all I know about the Final Trailer and I would very much like to remain as blind as possible going into NEO :)

-The very first cutscene was quite ominous in the sense that this game is likely going to be about "changing fate" (a recently common theme in Squeenix games, which I do appreciate), perhaps leading off from the end of A New Day in the OG and trying to stop an Inversion of Shibuya. Also worth noting that A New Day had similar aspects in which the main character experienced "future visions" of tragic events, although in A New Day these events were not able to be changed, while in NEO it seems like one of the main "powers" our protagonist has is specifically to rewrite these events and avoid a "bad ending." Very interesting indeed!

-I really like the revamped comic book style dialogue scenes, it's much more fluid and modern, which is an excellent direction for the series to take!

-I would love to have an actual PokemonGO knockoff of Final Fantasy creatures, please Squeenix that would be incredibleeeeee

-Also the LINE stickers??? Are so cute???

-I would just like to point out that Fret is an absolute treasure throughout this entire demo, he's hilarious and I will protect him with my life

-UHHHH don't like that Fret picked up some Reaper Pins just out of nowhere.....or the fact that they're apparently popular all over Shibuya.............did y'all not learn anything from the OG game or what lmao

-Okay so when I first got the "curry or ramen" scene and heard NPCs talking about the new curry place replacing the old ramen place I became IMMENSELY distressed that Ramen Don was totally cut from the game because....well, Ramen Don is a King okay?? But I'm glad to learn that no, he didn't fall off the face of the earth, he's still in business and he's the one opening the curry restaurant lolol. PHEW, crisis averted!

-.....I don't like the sudden appearance of a Wall Reaper and being able to read NPC thoughts. Wtf happened when they left the ramen place??? Are they playing the Game alive somehow?

-Okay so I have my own theories about this "Swallow" character and what they're up to but considering this is only the Demo and I still Have No Idea What's Happening, I'm just gonna say that I think Swallow intentionally led Rindo and Fret to the Crossing so they could join the Game. I mean, add in the fact that Swallow still communicates with Rindo during the Game and you've got yourself a suspicious character right there lol

-"Hey they're shooting off fireworks!" Fret honey that's not fireworks oof (see also: "*laughs* I'm in danger")

-WOOOOOO way to traumatize Rindo right off the bat like that LMAOO

-The visuals for the intro are VERY GOOD, the song is pretty decent until it gets all "screamo" (which I absolutely cannot stand sorry lol)

-Shoka is every Customer Service employee ever and I respect that

-Susukichi went from being "meh" to "WOW THIS GUY IS FUN" in the span of 10 seconds and I also respect that (he is also built like an Absolute Unit which is hilarious)

-The Wall Reapers (and just Reapers in general) seem.....way nicer and more helpful this time around?? Like in the OG the Wall Reapers were SO RUDE gfhjgjdfkhn and yeah I'm sure we'll get some like that but the juxtaposition of the first Wall Reaper in the OG compared to the first one in NEO is insane.

-The puzzles are quite a bit more entertaining this time around even if it's generally the same "fetch quest" formula lol

-"Rindo's Group" way to go Fret HFKJDGHSDFKJ mans really left the default name in there lmao

-OKAYOKAYOKAY so to those who aren't aware I am a MASSIVE SIMP for Sho Minamimoto, he's my absolute favorite and I think about him daily. HIS INTRODUCTION IS. INCREDIBLE. I LOVE IT SM.

-GOD hearing him actually SPEAK FULL SENTENCES is just SO SURREAL I love this sm

-Also the remix of his theme???? NEO TRANSFORMATION????? IT'S SO GOOD????????? It's like gone from a Boss Theme to a more triumphant sounding theme and I am HERE for it (every version of Transformation is just INCREDIBLE and getting a new one is even better)

-I Love Him, Your Honor

-Also idk how exactly but it's kinda weird seeing Sho in the OG vs NEO, cuz while he's mostly the same Insane Math-Obsessed Catboy, he's.....calmed down quite a bit?? Like OG made a whole point of how poorly he cooperates with others (not to mention just being completely unhinged and trying to kill everyone), whereas here in NEO he's......actually kinda working with others??? HELLO???? Sir what happened to you and Neku during those 3 years I would love to know all about it

-I guarantee you Sho is still probably scheming shite and will likely pull some total insane BS later down the road, and I am very much looking forward to that. Also, is he looking for a certain Pin or something??? Cuz he keeps talking about different Pins and even mentions "this is just another Psych Pin" like he's actively looking for a Pin to do something with. Maybe it also has to do with the "latent powers of Players" thing he mentioned as well??? What is this dude UP TO oml (also is he in contact with Neku at all?? they're both technically fugitives at this point right?? WHAT HAPPENED AFTER A NEW DAY I AM BEGGING YOU)

-I seems like Sho ALSO has an idea of what's going on in this specific game (even if he won't admit it straightforward). Per his quote "The game's 142,857. Factor it out," he's essentially saying, "This game is a neverending cyle, figure out how to get out of it" (or at least that's what I got from his "cyclic number" nonsense lolol)

-I do like how Sho mostly stays out of sight until he's needed for a battle or assisting with a mission, that's kind of on par with his whole "uncooperative" quirk from the OG, plus he might literally have to stay out of sight of other Reapers and Players considering he's likely breaking the rules of the Game (not surprising considering him and Neku broke practically every rule in the book during OG)

-The nicknames for Sho- I can't- They're so FUNNYYYY GFHJSDFKJ

-He goes from being called "Pi-Face" and "Tabooty" in OG to "Mr. Minami" and "M-Teezy" in NEO LMAOO

-(Wowee I just realized I've been mostly talking about Sho oopsies sorry y'all, this is what I meant by thinking about him almost daily he is THAT much of a fav of mine ghfkjsd)

-Okay RIP Fret and Rindo for not getting literally ANY explanation as to how the Game works OOF, that is kinda cringe that whoever gets the Pin earns points, not whoever erases the Noise (which like I understand but also URRRGGHHH I WANNA SEE THE SQUAD SUCCEED)

-"I should be going home now it's getting late" Oh you sweet summer child-

-Also love the mention of parents in this game???? KH you could learn a thing or two from TWEWY (poor Rindo's mom fhgjkdh)

-KUBO IS HILARIOUS I SUPPORT HIM AND HIS GROSS FACE (also thank you Final Trailer thumbnail for spoiling my suspicions about him very cool smh)

-Kaie is a LAD I also support him, go King type those funky texts I believe in you

-FRET PLS STOP SCANNING FHGJKSDHKJFGHFKJ he's like me when I scan in OG during Weeks 2 and 3 and see Taboo Noise coming after me ghfjdshfj

-Also Rindo can you stay off your phone for TWO SECONDS ik you're trying to figure things out but Fret is a jelly boi and I don't want him to be upset with you my guy

-Sho being an actual sorta mentor to the kiddos?? Who are you sir this is so unlike you ghfgskj what happened to the guy who tried shooting children in the face 8 times over LMAO (granted he's probably just using them but it's still nice to see him actually cooperating and sharing knowledge with the kiddos aaaaa)

-EYO EIJI OJI THE TIKTOK INFLUENCER IS BACK LMAO

-hgjkfshgkjf "we aren't glorifying capitalism on my watch" THATS SO FUNNY TO ME GFHJFSDGHJKS (also an all-orange ensemble is disgusting you deserve jail for one thousand years fkn Cheddar Goldfish Cheezit ass woman)

-WICKED TWISTERS NAME DROP EYOOO we love to see it

-gfhsgjf Poor Rindo embarassing himself for the sake of the Game that's incredible

-R e t u r n t o M O N K E. That is all.

-Dialogue during boss battles is HELLA cool i love that

-HHHHH THE KANON SCENE MADE ME A N G E R Y FRET STOP SIMPING MY GUY says the girl with a Literal Simp Encyclopedia and simps for pixels on a screen daily

-Can't wait to see the other Reapers :eyes emoji:

-CAN'T WAIT TO SEE NAGI MY BELOVED YEAHHHH WOOOOOO AAAAND that's about it for the demo lolol, I absolutely CANNOT wait for next month, this game is gonna be INCREDIBLE holy hell Prepare for more simping, more screaming, and more vibing from Yours Truly :) I fully intend on sharing more general thoughts like this on both Tumblr and Twitter so it's not just reblog-retweet-reblog-retweet with the occasional comment fhgskjd

If you wanna witness my insanity up close and personal I have a Square Enix Discord server called Sea Side Dreamers! You can look it up on Disboard, or you can add me on Discord @Katara0524#9244 for a direct link :) We have topics about Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy, NieR, and ofc TWEWY (as well as other topics!), so if you want some good ol' chaos and chitchat, you're more than welcome to join!

[jaminjims]

bts 8th member {imagine}

a/n: ok so this was the child of my 1-5am mind that was running off of chips ahoy cookies and diet root beer, and honestly?? kinda proud of myself lmao. i felt like i was kinda lacking with my boys au update this week and i wanted to feed you guys with more content so, here you go! (also sorry if it’s a little rushed, i just started writing and didn’t stop) i lob ya’ll 

pairing: bts x reader (it’s sorta implied as a m!reader bc bts is a boy group and i refer to you as he maybe twice throughout, but it can be read as any gender! although i do make you refer to the older boys as hyung. you can also read it as ot7 but you don’t have to, there are fluffy moments between everyone)

genre: pretty angsty but also pretty fluffy

warnings: panic attack, loneliness, anxiety medication, brief mention of insomnia, extreme dieting, sleep medication 

words: 4.2k

~**~

you trained in bighit for two years before you were put into a group and you could easily say that those years were probably the hardest of your life

in the beginning, you were ecstatic to be accepted because being an idol was your dream, even if it was a small company. you had lost count how many times you dreamed about debuting and just making people (who you couldn’t wait to call your fans) happy

over time, you wouldn't say you lost your drive to continue, but your bright outlook on the future dimmed and the pressure of everything had begun to build up and it had gotten really hard

you had to train everyday: singing lessons, dancing lessons, exercising. and on top of that? you also had to study for school and continue to get good grades

after all, that was your parents only rule if you wanted to become an idol

your parents were also happy for you, but if they also became worried. because being away from home and the pressure of school and training without the fact they could look after you, it worried them to no end

they called you everyday and asked how you were doing, and you would tell them the truth about how you missed them so much that it almost hurt and if you were eating a lot (if your training even aloud it) and that you were staying hydrated and healthy

and sometimes, you were worried about yourself too

there have been multiple times that you thought you were going to break, how you thought you couldn’t continue to live like this because you weren't aloud to eat much and the classes and school work and just everything began to pile up 

but this was your dream, and no one said it was going to be easy

that's the thought that kept you believing in the future, kept you believing in yourself. all of your hard work was going to pay off and you knew it was going to be worth it

right?

the times when you sang so much your throat went raw, the times when you danced so much to the point of exhaustion, and then collapsed but didn’t eat enough afterward. those were the hardest 

your parents came close to pulling you out of training more times than you could keep track of

but you persisted. you had already made it this far, what's the point of dropping out now?

the first year of training was exhausting, but you were so proud of yourself because this was the hardest task you had ever done and you were getting through it!

the second year though, was probably worse than the first. that was the year when you really started to miss your family, and with trainee's constantly coming in and out of the dorms, you really had no one to connect with 

there were nights where you would cry yourself to sleep because of everything

it didn't help when your trainers put you in remedial classes, because you were pretty good at dancing, but not so much at singing

the extra classes got in the way of your school work, and more often than not, you found yourself missing at least two classes a week because of them

but it was ok, you told yourself. if you had made it this far and gave up, then what would the last year of training be? 

but there are only so many times you could tell yourself that before the words started to lose their meaning and you had come so close to dropping out because a person could only have so many anxiety attacks and meltdowns before they just broke completely

but it was like something looked down on you and suddenly: the moment was there. you were put into a group and immediately cried on the spot then and there, even when the others in the dorms could see 

you had called your parents right after and were so happy, you couldn’t even get the words out and they could only half understand you

you knew it was going to be worth it and even though you almost aloud yourself to give up, you would be willing to do it all again

that's when you vowed to yourself: you were never going to give this up for anything

and even though you didn’t get the grades your parents really expected of you, it was ok

you were here, you made it 

meeting the rest of the bts members for the first time was something that you would always remember, and even though you would come to laugh at the first meeting with them in the future, it was hella embarrassing 

“hello, my name is y/n. please treat me kindly and i look forward to working with you.” 

well, at least that's what you tried to say

instead it came out more like this: “hello. y/n. nice working kindly with you, please treat me forwardly.”

yeah, you die every time you think about it. the look on their faces as you flush in embarrassment would become the faces of your paralysis demons for months afterward because god could you seriously be any more socially awkward?

the answer to that question was: of course you could!

even though you weren't the shyest (that would probably go to the youngest, jungkook) you were probably the one to mess up the most and then think about it in the most inopportune of times

like for example, it was one of your first dance practices together and you were thinking so hard about not messing up anything, you ran into the door on the way out of the practice room after it was over 

yeah, this time most of the members couldn’t hold back their laughs, and even though you knew it wasn't to make fun of you, you still flushed the color of crimson because christ what the hell is wrong with your brain function? 

your face was probably two shades redder permanently because of the amount of embarrassing moments you had still have

 that was probably the reason you become closer to jungkook first because (excluding the fact that the both of you were close in age, you only one year older) you were both the shyest

also, videogames who? ya’ll know her very well 

most of you and jungkook’s bonding moments came from your mutual love of videogames and the relationship was THRIVING 

“hey wanna play minecraft?” “kook it's two am.” “well then why are you still awake?” “to see how long it would take you to ask me to play minecraft. i already have the server open.” you both would then probably get blown up by creepers and you would yell before one of the others came scolded you both for staying up way to late and making noise

and once you bonded with jungkook, it was only natural that the rest of you bonded too (sharing a room does that to people)

when you were practicing the i need u choreo, for some reason your timing was off and you knew that but you just didn’t know where it went wrong and that one mistake was driving you crazy 

dancing was the thing you were supposed to be good at and that fact that you kept messing up weighed hard on you and made you lose confidence

but it was hoseok who had found you hours after practice had ended, laying down with your arms across your face because you were just so frustrated with yourself that you felt like crying and at this point hoseok had known you long enough that you weren’t the type to ask for help even if you needed it

“y/n, you ok?” 

“hyung, i-” you choked up and you got even angrier at yourself because are you really crying over this? 

hoseok rushed to your side and helped you sit up, but you didn't take your hands off your face 

he instead took your hands in his gently and swayed them back and forth, “yah~ it’s going to be alright.” he gave you a the hobi smile and you couldn’t help but lighten up 

he pulled you up and together the both of you practiced until jin forced you to come home and sleep because “they had already missed dinner, god damnit.”

you nailed the choreo almost every time after that

or when you were recording vocals for spring day and you kept messing up and your voice kept cracking and the other guys had already gone to their lunch break while you were still sitting in the studio, practicing your lines

the other seven sat in the practice room eating and got worried that you were going to miss lunch altogether so they nominated jimin to go collect you because they knew that you weren't confident in your voice even though they told you almost everyday that it was amazing

jimin walked in on you singing your part in the song and smiled at how smooth your voice sounded but then frowned when you suddenly stopped and cursed because “why can’t i sing? what the hell y/n.”

you had yet to see jimin enter the recording studio but you defineitly felt when he wrapped his hands around your torso in a comforting gesture

you relaxed in his hold and sighed out as he whispered in your ear, “your voice is perfect and it fits you y/n-ah. it’s going to be ok.” 

you teared up and turned around in his hold and properly hugged him. “i love you hyung.” 

and you really did, you loved all of them 

and you pride yourself on being the one that helps every one and makes sure they are doing alright, mentally and physically 

you would get scolded by your hyung's and occasionally by the maknae that you should look after yourself better and that it wasn’t your job to always look after everyone, even more so if you are younger 

like when you stay up late to wait up for yoongi to comeback from his studio even into the early mornings, and when he doesn’t you bring food and go to him instead because “i’m here for you hyung. and it's been awhile since I've seen you.” “it’s been four hours, y/n” “yeah, four hours to long.”

but he would eat the food you bring him anyway because he secretly likes your visits and wouldn’t trade them for anything

he always asks you if you’re ok though, “you getting enough sleep?” “why are you up so late?” 

you always answer honestly, “i’ve been staying up really late to get things done when i was a trainee, so i’m used to it. it kinda just happens now.”

he frowns but can’t really fault you because he does the same thing sometimes. but still, he doesn’t stan sleep depraviety 

or when namjoon gets stressed before interviews (it doesn't happen as much recently but it did when they were younger) especially ones where he had to speak english

you would always give him massages and reassure him that everything will be fine and that he was the best leader he could've asked for 

the way joon smiles with his dimples gets you melting every time and you can’t stop yourself from poking him and calling him cute just to tease him, even though he’s older

he always gets this blush on his face and swats at your hands, but he never does lose his smile

you try your best to learn english because you want to take some of his stress away and help him in any way you can 

and it’s because you all try to help and build up each other in any way you can, is why you all work so well and just flow together 

like how you and tae just casually switch clothes sometimes because “y/n has the best fasion sense in bts” and you because you just like the way he smells (which, for the love of god, you will never admit to him, or anybody, outloud) 

“hey y/n have you seen my purple hoodie?” then he would walk out of his room to see you covered in his hoodie eating ramen and smiles “never mind, i’ll just wear your white one” and then it’ll be your turn to smile

or when you assist jin in the kitchen because you actually really love cooking too and you two end up goofing off 

“hyung the pasta is gonna burn!” “aish, then stop distracting me with your childish antics!” “oh did you hear something? must be the wind.” and both of your laughter would echo out, making the other members smile and sometimes laugh along with you 

you’re also a regular on eatjin and army just love seeing the interactions between you two

but as much as you all get along, there are still many fights that happen because no relationship is perfect

it gets really stressful when you see members fight with each other because you have never been the one for conflict and would choose to avoid it when you could. you would always apologize first because you had a weak heart and hated when anyone was mad or upset at you

but sometimes the stress and pressure get to much and there are moments where they can't help but blow up at each other 

“damn it! why can’t you get this move right!” someone would say, after doing the dance for the fourth time 

“i’m learning it just like you are! calm down!” 

it would sometimes stop there and the two occupants would apologize and they would continue to work, helping each other when needed. other times it would escalate and you would sit and watch because what could you do?  

it would usually be one of the older ones to calm everyone down but practice would be cut short and there would be this tension in the air that felt suffocating and it comes to a point where you or someone else would end up speaking up and force the two to talk but they would become stronger and more understanding after the fight, because that's who they were and how they worked

but those were only small fights and you have only initiated them enough times to count on one hand, but the big fights are the ones who leave you feeling drained and powerless because you were never one show big acts of emotion so when you did you felt tired afterward

a big fight that you were apart of that really impacted your relationship with he wrest of the members happened all the way back in 2017 

you were more jumpy the past few months and the members knew you didn't get barely any sleep 

they also knew that you had been under fire from the media and haters because of a false rumor, and haters had been constantly pointing out your flaws and every little thing they could find wrong with you 

you had also lost a lot of weight and that's what really hurt them, they felt like they were slowly losing you and they had tried to bring it up with you a thousand times before, but you would just brush them off and tell that you were ok when they could clearly see that you weren’t 

it was when you fainted during a costume change in a concert that they drew the line

you had woken up later back in the dorm with about a million messages on your phone from news sites and family (and of course the other members to check on you to see if you were awake yet)

“y/n suddenly disappears from concert” “does y/n really care about army?” 

those where only a few titles that he saw on articles and it only added fuel to the fire for the false rumors and hate

you had sat on your bed that you presumed the medics dropped you off at and based on the time, it had been about an hour and a half and the concert should be wrapping up soon

and you cried.

the rumors, the hate, the other members treating you like you would break any moment. you were letting people down and oh my god, you actually were breaking and couldn't stop it 

it was already hard thinking about letting the fans down because they were your everything and you would go to any length to make them happy

but also letting your members down? your parents? 

that was excruciating 

because you had found seven other boys that you had grown so close to that you could count on but what were you if they couldn’t count on you?

when they came back after the concert all worn out and tired, their first thought was still about you and if you were ok 

the maknae line almost broke down in tears at the sight of your sleeping form and how it was very much apparent that you had cried. so much that your eyes were red and puffy and you had a deep frown on your face even in sleep

the hyung’s left to talk when the maknae’s got into your bed with you nd held you because they were legitimately scared that they wouldn’t see you again when you collapsed (jimin on your left, jungkook on your right, and taehyung after jimin) 

hobi was the first to speak when they closed your bedroom door. “we need to force him to do something.” 

namjoon sighed, “that might make it worse, hyung.” 

“well the medic said, just by looking at y/n, that he was malnourished and sleep deprived! i-i don’t know what to do!” his voice cracked and he went to sit on the couch, seokjin sitting down next to him to try to provide any comfort he could 

there was a silence that followed the group after the outburst and finally yoongi whispered out. “i’m so scared.” 

it was tired and broken and they all felt the same way he did

jin and hoseok fell asleep on the couch together while namjoon and yoongi retired to their own bedrooms, to tired from the events of the day 

everyone had woken up before you did and the somber mood from yesterday still permeated the air 

it was the most you slept in two months.

when you woke up, you probably felt worse than before

your face was swollen, your head was pounding, you were starving, and just all around miserable 

the members somewhat knew what you were going through. they knew that you felt like you had let the fans down and they were very conscious of the hate you were getting right now 

when you walked into the kitchen at eleven (all activities halted for the day. another thing that was your fault.) the rest of the boys were sitting around the table, talking about the best way to help you 

you had simply walked in and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, trying to avoid the others because you knew the conversation that was coming and you weren’t looking forward to it 

jin saw you first and got up from his chair and gently held your wrist to prevent you from leaving

“come here, you need to eat y/n-ah.” he said softly. he then pulled you over to the table, and you let him 

everyone went quiet and you just simply put your head down on the table because what could you say? that you were fine? because it was very obvious you weren’t 

when jin came back with a plate of food, he gently massaged your neck until you sat up and taehyung sitting on your other side held your hand

jin feed you himself when you made no move to and they were happy to see you eat more than you usually did, but not enough to fully sustain you 

when he saw you wouldn’t eat anymore, jin sighed and pushed the food away. he went back to massaging your neck as you put your head back down on the table 

namjoon spoke up from across you, “how are you feeling?” he spoke softly 

“mm head hurts.” your voice was raspy and even softer 

“we need to talk to you.” yoongi then said and this was the moment you were dreading the most 

they tried to get you to talk about how you were feeling mentally and tried to be there for you but when namjoon brought up doctors and medication is when you broke 

you even surprised yourself when you started yelling (this was probably the first time you really did at them)

“i’m already messed up enough as it is! i don’t need more flaws that will just bring everyone down! is that what you really think? that i’m that messed up?” 

they tried so hard to keep calm but you were slowly driving yourself insane and what you were saying was also just so hurtful that they couldn’t help but get heated back 

jimin was quick to catch you when you started swaying on your feet because your head was still pounding and it was getting hard to breathe and you couldn’t focus on anything, the others voices blurring together around you 

you had to lean back against him and you heard him say something but you couldn’t make out what it was because you couldn’t breathe and your lungs were heaving because you needed air

the voices around you became softer and there were hands trying to sooth you but nothing was working

it wasn’t until there was a soft whisper that you heard in your ear from someone that told you to “breathe for me y/n. please breathe for me baby.” 

you then took a big breath and then another and another and the others began to breathe again too once they realized your panic attack was over 

you couldn't help the sobs that escaped you and it was just so heart broken and scared that others teared up with you 

hoseok hugged you from the front as jimin was still supporting you from the back and you clung to him. “i’m so scared” and “i’m sorry”  were the only two phrases you could seem to get out at the moment 

“it’s not your fault. it never will be your fault.” and they would feel guilty because they knew you just needed help and they couldn’t fault you for getting upset because the media could be so harsh 

it got even worse when you would later admit that you just didn’t want to bring them down because of course you would think like that. them before you, always 

so they stayed by your side every waking second and became even more clingy if possible because dammit, it was ok to let yourself be takin care for once and a while and this time they were going to make you take care of yourself before you took care of them 

when you were diagnosed with anxiety and sleep medication, they were with you every step of the way and made sure that you were taking them properly because they knew you still were against the idea of taking medication. it had the chance of getting out, and the media didn’t look kindly upon idols who had to resort to such 

jungkook would be the one, more often than not, to make sure you take them, and on bad nights the only thing that would get you to comply is when he would say “if you take them it will help me sleep better.” 

and it always worked because he knew you would do anything to make sure they were happy

the road to recovery was hard and there were of course ups and downs but at the end of the day, you had them and you couldn't imagine what your life would be like if you didn’t

the fights, the laughter, the crying, you would go through it all again if it meant you would get to stay with them

life as an idol wasn’t easy, but with them, it was just that much easier and you couldn’t ask for a better family 

yeah, they were your family 

and when you stood up on that stage, tearing up to see all yours fans chanting your names, you knew this was worth it

because you had made it, you built yourselves from the ground up and had loyal fans that would do almost anything for you and that support was worth more than anything 

so no longer was your dream to just become an idol and have fans. no, it was so much bigger than that 

you evolved and your dream along with you

you truly loved your fans and more than that, the family and community you had helped create along with the rest of these amazing boys that you were proud to call your everything 

so standing up on that stage, you cried tears of joy because in this moment, there was no place you would rather be 

and afterward you all would cuddle, because who wouldn’t love that, right?

[end]

end note: this was seriously too long and i enjoyed writing this wayyy to much. like i seriously made myself cry?? the part with the panic attack?? i swear i almost ugly sobbed omfg. also, would anyone be interested in seeing other parts to this? like i would absolutely love to take requests for this and make it a mini series if ya’ll are interested in something like that. i just love you guys to much lmao 

also sorry if there was any mistakes, apparently i like writing at ass o'clock in the morning where my one braincell can barely function so there are probably many of them, but i was just so excited to get this out and so i didn’t read over it jsfjkgb

~**~ masterlist

taglist: @boba-tea1206​

[zirkkun]

you don't have to post this if you don't want, i just wanted to let you know I support you. maybe I'm just not in the right headspace to understand, but i truly don't get the mentality that you not wanting to create 18+ content for an au you love, even one that's specifically 18+, is somehow censuring. you are the owner of your blog and you create for you and how you're comfortable doing it? just because you personally aren't publicly making nsfw content doesn't mean other people can't/you don't like them. the only thing I sorta understand is the name thing and how, out of context, it could seem you weren't happy with the original, but even then that's a valid perspective. not everybody has to like an AU, and if someone wants to do their own version there is literally no excuse for sending them hate. this is a fandom of AUs and derivative content, to get mad at someone else for following suit is hypocritical. you aren't in the wrong here, and the people spreading misinformation about you with the intention to hurt (even if they feel thReAtEnED by your PERSONAL AU INTERPRETATION THAT RHEY ARE FREE TO CURATE OUT OF THEIR FEED SHOULD THEY NOT LIKE IT ...) are absolutely being horrendous. I'm here for you if you wanna talk, you can DM on discord or here. I hope you're okay.

I mean, in a way I can understand taking it as censoring, especially after talking to a few people about it directly, since it was a bit of a combination between both the interpretation of the name misunderstanding as well as ULR not being 18+ leading to the conclusion that it was censoring Underlust. But after I explained it, the couple of people who approached me about that specific issue understood pretty quickly, too.

And, in all honesty, if I don't really like something, I wouldn't go through the effort of trying to make anything based off of it. The closest example that I can think of where I did something akin to that is when I once tried like, writing an AU for Fire Emblem Fates, because I love the concept of the games, but thought the execution couldn't have been worse. (I've done insane amounts of research on how it truly was so bad, and honestly, the dev team was a complete mess, so I don't really blame them for how it turned out despite them being the ones that made it lol. They barely could come to a midway point for it, so the fact they released it was a miracle.) Sure, there's points of Underlust I don't like, but as I've said before I could say that about everything I like. Except maybe Promare /j (but it is a good movie)

It's also probably really weird, but like, even with things I know I don't like, I'm willing to read or look into sometimes. Like, I don't like Dreamtale at all, but I've gotten myself fairly invested in More than one fic about it and do like some people's works based on it. I'm between unable to handle and yet can tolerate yandere fics nowadays thanks to Alch's fics and them just being a generally wonderful human being, but like, before that they just sent me into a panic attack lol. Ragnartale is also a weird one I am somehow invested in, since it's like, on the surface, it looks like something I wouldn't enjoy, esp since. None of the ships showcased I'm really into at all. But I'm very invested in it ;w;.

Anyway, my point with this part lol is like, I love seeing different interpretations of the same thing, and it's absolutely wild to me walking into this fandom from every other fandom I've been in where like, and AU is just the same characters in a different scenario, while here an AU is literally a whole separate world based off of either Undertale itself or a different AU entirely and the cast is really varied and even if characters are of the same origin from one AU to another, they're so distinctly different that some of them are unlinkable to the character they originate from. And y'all made a multiverse out of it!! With consistent lore between said multiverse!! Wh?? Like I said I've been on the internet a long time but this is genuinely the only instance I've seen this happen, and while I've been told it used to be worse, y'all are super respectful about stuff here too (and like, notably on YouTube with AMVs and MEPs, people actually credit where they got the fanart from in the description?? It's not all of them, and some may be without permission, but this is still the ONLY fandom I've seen do that and that's one hell of a leg up on everyone else.) It's like weirdly, to me, like... an ideal way art should be? Like, a world where anyone can make whatever they want, and people work with each other and from different things, taking inspiration from each other with credit and care and love and not slamming people in the face with a big copyright button for so much as thinking about making something off of their content (coughnintendocough). Obviously Toby's a chill guy too, for not only allowing this to all happen, but based on that message he left in i think the 5th anniversary vinyls, adores it just as much.

So yeah, definitely being slapped in the face when I step in with my idea after all of that openness before me definitely kinda hurt LMAO. It does feel nice to finally like. Actually talk about it instead of holding it in though. Even if it's actually almost two months later now (cause this happened on like December 5th and i was like already having an awful week with a real bad birthday so that was fun avdbwvsn)

I don't know that the original intent was to spread misinformation, because from what it seemed like, they merely read one post, blocked me, and then told everyone about the information they got from said post, but from there it became misinformation, because that one post is probably the oldest post about ULR and doesn't properly summarize anything about it at all it just has character faces and rules for the ask box lol. And frankly, before I updated it, it was out-of-date and inaccurate as well, cause i never thought it would be necessary to change. But that info that i have is also from like one or two posts my friend snagged off of twitter (cause, well, they blocked me lol), so I'm not really 100% certain.

But even so, thank you for the support man, I think I'm good for now, but I really appreciate your offer and checking in on me like this, it really does mean a lot💕💕