#mammon dont look baby

[monay-monn]

My Current Pcs

Monay the False Saintess

✦| Angelic Cow-girl ✦| Current Li: Sydney (Fallen) > Avery ✦| Playstyle: Defiant ✦| Mission: Perfection (feats collecting + max skills)

Summary of File:

Very first 'normal' save + current longest running save, focused on playing through as much content as possible and achieving as many feats as possible. Accidentally got Angel tf after hyperfocusing on making money for an entire month by spamming the spa (wanted to make sure she could take on Robin's debt and still have extra money on the side to not get punished by Bailey). Very school + reputation focused (all reputation is positive), visits mickey and landry as much as possible to lower fame + buy pepper spray. Worst world corruption out of all the saves (stole ivory necklace + rite of defilement).

──────────────────✧₊∘✦

Mammon the False Prophet

✦| Demonic Cow-boy ✦| Current Li: Sydney (Faithful) > Robin ✦| Playstyle: Defiant ✦| Mission: Become the Ultimate Lewd Priest (infamous reputation + Max lewd skills)

Summary of File:

2nd save + 2nd longest running save. Focused on doing all the things that Monay's save couldnt do. Playstyle is a little more risky with trying to get money using the lewder job options and trying to raise his lewd fame. Currently the save is almost exactly the same as Monay's save except they're less restricted by the way they can actually fuck around. Mostly made just to see the difference between rite of promise faithful!sydney vs rite of defilement fallen!sydney. Also supposed to be the save focused on romancing Whitney but ended up liking Robin and Kylar more.

Lowest world corruption out of all current Pcs (never stole the ivory necklace + rite of promise).

──────────────────✧₊∘✦

Nene the Entropic

✦| Demonic Harpy ✦| Current LI: Great Hawk > Eden ✦| Playstyle: Submissive lewd ✦| Mission: Fuck around and Find out

Summary of file:

3rd save file, initially started to rack up Harper's love by repeatedly getting sent to the asylum, now turned into pregnancy save.

Currently the most chaotic save out of all of them. Restricting myself by not fighting the lewd encounters + not focusing on school and instead fuck around the outskirts/forest.

Explicitly made to dismiss/reject all the school/town lis.

World Corruption is currently unknown since I made her explicitly to stay the fuck away from the temple.

──────────────────✧₊∘✦

??? the ???

✦| Fallen Fox-girl (intended) ✦| Current Li: Sydney (fallen) > ??? ✦| Playstyle: Defiant Crossdresser ✦| Mission: Get all virginities taken by Sydney (failed)

Summary of File

Created on a whim because I wanted a crossdresser PC. Has the most amount of Feat boosters out of all my starting PCs (mf used all 259 coins I had). Also created just to fuck around with Rite of Promise and trying to corrupt Syd. Current goal is to try and achieve fallen forgiven status + getting the other transformation feats I hadnt gotten yet (namely fox + cat + wolf).

Dont really have a name for her or for what kinda direction I wanna take her save file...

[iisasarcasticlittleshite]

Heyy bbg 😩

How was ur dayyy, mine was ok i went shopping 😘

Whats ur favorite colorrr, i like blue 😝

How would the boyz react to breaking the bedframe during sum rough... activities 😉😏😩😳

Dont forgor to drink water and get atleast 6 hrs of sleep pls 🥺

Heyyy! I am so sorry this took me so long to start on, I went a little MIA there, lol. So of course my first post of 2024 is OM smut lol Happy 2024 everyone! Now, on to the hcs! Mature content below the cut. Warnings for Levi's section, implied monster f*ck*ng, very slight.

Lucifer

This bastard makes no secret of how proud he is to make a mess of MC.

His reaction depends on the position, if the bedframe cracks while he is on top, then he makes sure MC's safe before continuing elsewhere.

MC's barely had time to comprehend that the bedframe gave way underneath them before Lucifer is scooping them up and resuming their activities on his desk or against the wall.

"Lucifer, did we-?"

"Don't worry your pretty little head about it, my darling. Now, sing for me~"

But. If that bed breaks while MC's on top? That is a very different story.

"Look at you, taking me so well even the bed can't take it~"

"Go on, love, do it again."

Demon does not give a shit, clasps MC's thighs and holds them up while he thrusts up to meet their hips.

He may act mildly displeased at having to buy a new bed, but that aura of pure pride rolling off him the next day is fooling no one.

Mammon

Let's face it, he's so sex-drunk he probably didn't notice. He's too busy overstimming himself to the point of tears, pretty noises pouring from his kiss-bitten lips with shameless abandon.

He's the Avatar of Greed after all, and here is his greatest treasure, all naked and pretty for the taking, giving him everything he could ever want. Why in nine circles of hell would he stop?

He'll fuck until the mattress hits the ground, or until MC tells him to stop, because he always retains enough of himself to keep them safe.

Once they're done and laying on a skewed wreck of a bed, sweat colling on their skin, that's when Mammon finally notices.

"Hey...what happened to the bed?"

MC chuckled, pressing a kiss to his brow. "You happened, baby."

His cheeks turned pink and he hid his face in their neck as though he could hide the blush from them. MC felt him grinning against their skin, until the reality struck him.

"How the fuck am I gonna explain this to Lucifer?"

Leviathan

He also wouldn't notice, but not for the reason you might think.

Usually, Levi is a very sweet lover, tends toward the submissive side and lets MC set the pace.

However...

For their lovemaking to get to the point of breaking anything, it's because Levi has gone absolutely feral.

I'm talking more demon than anything else, growling and snarling instead of whimpered, sweet moans tumbling from his lips.

You'd better believe he'll break the bed, the only thing that will stop him is MC, and if they choose not to...

He'll break a lot more than the bed.

Satan

Believe it or not, I don't actually see this happening with Satan.

He's so cautious of his wrath around MC in the bedroom that I'm no so sure he'd even be comfortable playing rough.

The most that happens with him is toppling a pile of books or something. Once, he accidently knocked into a shelf and used himself as a meat shield for MC as the avalanche came down.

That made for an awkward evening when poor Beel come to the rescue.

Asmodeus

Let's face it, if he did it, it was on purpose.

Asmodeus knows exactly what he's doing when it comes to MC's pleasure, knows exactly how to make them writhe just so that it was actually the human who let magic slip in their daze and cracked the bedpost.

The Avatar of Lust chuckled against their sex, his head buried between their thighs and his eyes alight with pure sin. "What else can I make you break, lovie?"

"S-sorry..."

"Oh no sweetheart, don't apologise. Let me see how much more I can make you sing for me~"

[chrolloluvr]

Adam, Mammon, Alastor and Lucifer if S/O is on their period

Note: AFAB!Reader, not proofread, (should I make a story out of mammons??)

Warnings: Mentions of sex, minor degrading?, fluff 🥺, cute moments

Adam 🕊️:

He has an idea of how periods or the menstrual cycle work. In his time of being married to Eve and Lilith, he basically just let them handle it themselves. But with you, thats not how it works

When you get moody swings, he tells you that your being dramatic.

"Babe what the hell? Take a chill pill, jesus."

Please slap him across the face.

When you get cramps, he will throw you some Pepto bismol and call it a day.

If you send him to the store, he will ask you what flavor tampon you want (???), and if he can have a visual representation on what size he needs.

He tried to FaceTime you 15 times...

Had to disguise himself so nobody knew he was there.

He will offer to have sex with you, since that was what seemed to work with his other two wives

Goes out and buys you snacks, but he forgets that you're on your period so he mostly bought them for himself.

Asks Lute for advice, since he isn't a girl.

You end up with your head resting on his shoulders, while you sit in his lap. He will call you a drama queen, but he will still comfort you.

Mammon 🕸️:

He knows literally nothing about periods or the menstrual cycle.

He never really cared to learn anything about it either, since he had never taken any romantic interest in anybody until you. He considered it a waste of time.

When you have mood swings, he does not take you seriously, and he will probably baby you.

"Awhh, dont get your thong in a twist sugar. Now calm down before i have to hold your ass down-"

When cramps roll around, he will just put his hand over your lower stomach. And just, leave it there? He thinks it helps you, so don't argue with him or he will back off of you.

When you send him to the store, he asks you for your pussy size...

Will FaceTime you, and show you all of the options.

Gets stopped and asked for photos multiple times, so it takes him like an hour.

He ends up getting you Nutella, pads, and a menstrual cup, because he thought it looked funny. He even jokes about it being his next big product.

Offers to eat you out. Yes, while you are on your period. He is a freak. He does not mind getting his mouth bloody. I HC that he actually prefers when you are on your period, because he likes the metallic tase and smell it emits.

Wont let you out of his sights during this time. He will let you lay on top of him while you two watch your favorite show. And he will hand feed you the chocolate and say,

"Heres comes the choo choo train cutie 😙"

Lucifer 👑:

He knows a lot about the menstrual cycle and how it works. He was very attentive to Lilith during their marriage.

When you get moody, he will distance himself from you, not wanting to add more fuel to the fire.

"Hey honey, I just wanted to check in on you, see how you were doing, you know-"

When you have cramps, he hates seeing you in pain, so he will heat up a heating pad and rest it on your stomach.

When you send him to the store, he goes in a disguise. He will call you and ask what specific products you want.

He ends up getting you strawberries, chocolate, medicine, etc.

He treats you like you are sick. Will force you to stay in bed under his supervision.

Will also offer to eat you out. He just wants to make you feel better, and he is an expert.

He will spoon-feed you medicine, and turn on your favorite show. He will snuggle up against your chest and fall asleep.

Will ask Charlie for some advice and help. He really does care for you deeply. So he just wants to make sure you are content and satisfied.

Alastor 🦌:

Knows quite a bit about period and the menstrual cycle.

When you get moody, he will also coddle you like Mammon. Will purposely try to get you more upset. But stops after a while, since he is a gentlemen.

"My little doe, lets stop with this tantrum. Your a big girl, aren't you?

When you get cramps, he will come up behind you and trap you in a bear hug while rocking the both of you. He will do this while using his thumbs to rub your shoulders.

Instead of the store, he goes to Rosie and asks her for supplies and advice. He hates seeing you upset, so what better of a person to ask for advice from than his long time friend Rosie?

He will not want to do anything sexual with you. Not because he does not like getting bloody, (he has, and isn't afraid to.), But because he does not want to possibly hurt you.

He will try to stay near you as much as possible. He maaaay even let you touch his ears if you look up at him all nice and cute.

Tells you a story, or will turn on the radio for you to both listen to.

[vivi4nn4]

OBEY ME headcannons ᯓᡣ𐭩.ᐟ

𑁍ࠬ ( this is not been proof read for spelling errors or mistakes ) 𝜗𝜚

ᯓ★ lucifer

— lucifer is definitely caring even if he doesn’t show it he very much enjoys the little things like making you an extra cup when he makes coffee

— he likes to spend time with mc just each other doing their own things

— lucifer also cares deeply about his family n friends even if his pride gets in the way of showing it

— lucifer enjoys suits n blazers as we can tell from the game but I also think he enjoys that jumpers / sweaters especially high necked ones and my point is also proven from cards from the game!

— as we know mammon is secretly his favourite brother but I think his second favourite would definitely be leviathan or beelzbub

— lucifer enjoys having mc all to himself his ego launches to the moon when mc decides to spend time with him rather then any of the other brothers

— lucifer barley gets any sleep but he doesn’t enjoy a lie in even when he gets the chance

ᯓ★ mammon

— mammon loves when you gift him stuff he’ll look after it forever n vise virsa he’ll buy you stuff that he knows you’ll love he is the sin of greed after all

— he absolutely adores being around you he’s very clingy like that watching tv? He’s right next to you getting a snack? He’s getting one too

— mammon loves being centre of your attention it makes him feel so special that you choose him due to his lack of social esteem of himself

— truley all that mammon wants is someone who respects him as an equal even his own brothers dont respect him let alone anyone else even tho he is the second strongest

— mammon enjoys talking to mc about his n their day as we can tell he thrives from social interaction

— after a long day mammon just loves sitting in mcs room n watching a movie which we can see happening a few times in the game

ᯓ★ leviathan

— leviathan loves playing games with you if you say yes once he’ll constantly ask you to play again

— leviathan has many online friends n community’s he’s apart of

— leviathan loves when people or mc compliment him bcs his self esteem is so low like mammons as we can tell from the game

— leviathan has such a soft side for mc even if mc doesn’t realise but he truly changes up around them

ᯓ★ satan

— satan immediately calms down around mc he’ll been screaming n shouting n suddenly mc will appear satan will still be angry but lower his tone n soften down

— as we know satan loves cats n wishes he had one in the past he’s owned a few cats but either beelzbub has tried to eat them or they’ve been scared off by lucifer

— Satan loves to read to calm himself down and settle his mind n thoughts he hates when people interrupt him

— satan absolutely hates cleaning his room as we can see from all the books laying around his room it’s just one of the things he never seems to put effort into

ᯓ★ asmodeus

— asmodeus loves doing mcs makeup and doing his brothers as well

— each week asmodeus sets a day typically Sundays where he sets the day to self care n himself

— he loves watching makeup tutorials or makeup videos he’s a big fan of trying to recreate them in his free time

— asmodeus loves shopping days with mc and often asks them to come with him

— asmodeus loves taking aesthetic pictures n posting them

ᯓ★ beelzbub

— beelzbub loves having dinner dates with mc

— beelzbub has won the devildom record for eating the most in every restaurant

— beelzbub enjoys spending most of his time with Belphegor ever since the death of his sister he feels clung to belphegor

— beelzbub is so soft n kind to mc n his brothers he is clearly one if not the softest out of the game

— beelzbub is a great hugger he is like a ball of warmth

ᯓ★ belphegor

— belphegor loves having nap times with mc he could sleep for hours as we already know but especially when he’s around mc he sleeps like a baby

— after the war when everyone first arrived at belphegor used to sleep his thoughts n ignore the memories of lilith and her passing

— when he was trapped in the attic he built up such anger from mc he had such a a hatred for mc due his him being locked away n his trauma with Lilith

— belphegor does feel so guilty toward mc for what he did but he pushes the feeling away

— belphegor is such a deep sleeper even a bomb couldn’t wake him up n even if it did he becomes very agitated when awoken from his sleep

⁺‧��˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺

[ankiebitez]

Mpreg with kings? I think mammon can lactate with those big milkers

Whb kings pregnant

gn mc, no warnings really except mentions of pregnancy and slight mentions of nsfw

note: not gonna lie i dont know much about mpreg so this is really short and mostly just thoughts on how i think the kings would act while pregnant lmao, i tried though but i really have like no idea how to write mpreg 😭

more under the cut

Satan

definitely wants kids, ghenna has the most romantic demons so its no surprise that he wants to start a family with you

he would be the best dad when they're born, but while he's pregnant he is probably the second to worst

mood swings, constantly. he's constantly pissed off and very protective of you even though he's the one who's pregnant. think about how animal moms get territorial when they have babies and that is 100% him

i feel like his depression would also get a bit worse bc pregnancy hormones are hell

he's so happy to be having your kid though

Mammon

handling it really well honestly. he's very gentle and cautious for you and the baby now, he doesn't want to hurt either of you and will protect you by any means

his greed has gotten a bit more powerful too because now he has both of his greatest treasures

buying the best of the best stuff for the baby, clothes, a crib, toys, etc. that baby is going to be spoiled when they're born.

you try to say that a baby probably cant use solid gold toys but he just said that since the baby is half demon and part of him they'll naturally be strong enough

honestly he might be right because when the baby starts "kicking" in his belly you swear it looked like a imprint of a version of his gold fists

now you understand why its the demons that get pregnant instead of the human.

his titties somehow get bigger while he's pregnant too

Beelzebub

pregnancy cravings. he will crave the weirdest shit you've ever heard of. and in the biggest portions you could imagine. you'd think he was eating for 300 instead of 2

he actually doesn't wander as much while pregnant since he wants to protect you and the baby, though he does still dissappear out of nowhere sometimes much to baels dismay

he gets sick and nauseous pretty often though in the later months. you know the phrase butterflies in your stomach? well he just gets flies in his stomach since the baby is too young to control that power yet. kind of horrifying tbh but he's handling it okay

right after the baby is born bael locks down the entire palace until you get beelzebub pregnant again. his argument is that its the only way to keep beel in avisos

Leviathan

he is the actual worst. he doesn't just get mood swings he is constantly pissed off while pregnant. would probably also be the type to cry while pissed off for no reason while in private.

hangs anyone in hades for the smallest things. shoes untied? hang. came to talk to him while he's in a bad mood? hang. breathed too hard? hang.

very very protective of you and the baby. no ones allowed to even look at you or his baby bump at this point. even when the babborn no one is allowed to hold them besides you two. they're not even allowed within 6 feet

he gets the baby the most beautiful stuff for their nursery though.

he also feels very prideful while pregnant, knowing that many of the other kings and demons are jealous that he's the one having your child. he's feeding off their envy

Lucifer

he is handling it the best out of everyone. you wouldn't even be able to tell he's pregnant if it weren't for the baby bump.

he was very skeptical about having a child though especially during this war. much less with the descendant of solomon. nonetheless, he is happy to be having a child.

stays in paradise lost the whole time unless absolutely necessary. he will not let anyone harm you or his child

still doesn't talk much, and stays in his garden most of the time to relax. you are welcome to come and sit with him though as long as you're quiet. he does get a bit more agitated by a lot of noise

the seraphim are seething and will definitely try to attack you more often though. they see you as evil incarnate for not only making lucifer sin but also getting him pregnant. lucifer wont have any of that

[anim3-wh0re-lance]

The obey me brothers+ diavolo at a water park with you

(This is my first time writing in a while and ive only got to lesson 12 then lost all my progress but i still know most of the game im sorry abt how short the headcannons are feel free to reblog🩵)

Game:Obey me (One master)

Request: no

Can be platonic or romantic but it's more on the romantic side

Obey me xgn!reader

*lots of bad grammar*

Lucifer🖤

He'd be wearing a full body suit and let just say if you try to pull it off he'll give a warning and then he'll push you away if you try again

He would probably be in the lazy river in one of those double tubes most of the time he might go on the slides

PLEASE JUST PLEASE DONT PUSH HIM IN *your legs will hurt from being hung upside down*

Stops every single splash fight

Mammon💛

He'd push you in right away and then jump on top of you

He won't let you put sunscreen on him and he will get burnt and complain as soon as your home and while your there

You guys will have a splash fight but lucifer stops you(((T_T))

Push him in and then play with him = love you even more

Leviathan 🧡

Honestly regrets coming and is super embarrassed when you complement him in his swimsuit

Gets super jealous of you and mammon and takes you away to go down the slides

Tries to impress you with how long he can stay under water

Screams so loud on the slides like a little girl

Satan💚

Honestly just stays in the lazy river and casted a spell so a book wouldn't get wet and soggy and just sits in a double tube so he can relax

Still don't splash him he just wants to relax T-T

He will go down slides and just be helping you if your scared

One of the easiest to deal with

Asmodeus 🩷

He wants to be with you 24/7

Is telling you how hot you are like

"Damnn mc who gave you permission" mc looks at him confused "permissionfor what??" Asmodeus looks at them "permission to look so HOT"

Defo screams on the slides he goes on the kids play area to get splashed and trys to get you to do it also

Beelzebub ❤️

Drops his food when he sees you like he's in love tbh

He like to pick you up and jump in the water getting everyone near wet tbh

He's so sweet in the lazy river like he has one tube he's sitting on and he has you on top of him in his lap

He tried to drink the pool water

He eats the entire restaurant there and if there's Konami ice that all had some and liked it

On the slides he carrys you up the stairs

Belphie💜

My sweet baby sits in the lazy river the entire time and loves it

He won't go on the slides bc he is to tired to walk up the stairs

If you just push him around in the lazy river he might fall for you more

He'll go down the slides if you Carry him up there and slide with him down

Diavolo❤️🖤

He probably rented the entire park, tbh just for the 9 of you can relax 😌 lucifer tried to tell him no-

He has the biggest splash fight with you and lucifer is trying to stop and say that you should stop but he didn't want to

Just like beel he'll sit and go down the lazy river with you

He'll go down the slides he'll carry you up the stairs too

He likes to jump in to water and try to land in the middle of the tube

[still-a-morosexual-help]

I'm so invested in that damn demonic showdown poll rn,

i dont care if mammon loses to one of his brothers in the final i NEED to take this puppet down and he's losing right now :(

Reasons to vote for Mammon?

• Let him avenge Barbatos and Lucifer!

• He's so fucking kind - as noted by both Levi and MC - even to the point of doing something to help a stranger who was trying to hurt him

• He's MC's best friend and partner in crime and is always on their side, even if that means standing against a pissed off Lucifer, whom he is canonically scared of

• He looks so good during his photoshoots because when he looks at the camera he's imagining he's looking at MC

• He's so good with kids! He's got a little daughter of his own, he stopped a lost kid from crying and helped them find their family, when Luke accidentally gave him a cursed item for his birthday he kept said item and refused to break it despite the fact that it would make him eventually lose a lot of money

• He saved MC when they were getting sexually harassed on the street

• He's good with engineering, mechanics

• He, quite confidently, mixed up the words for "hospitality" and "hospital"

• Insanely ride or die for both MC and Lucifer

• The house gets quiet and depressing when he runs away

• He gets weirded out by people treating him nicely because he rarely gets treated that way

• Talks to crows!!!

• Cries during animal documentaries!!!

• Gets upset because Cinderalla is treated badly by her family!!!

• He cares about MC's consent so much!

• Levi always comes to him when he needs genuine advice or help

• Very good with giving little speaches to reassure the others

• Doesn't know what rent is!!!

• Canonically so pretty

• Said he doesn't care if he has to wear masculine or feminine clothes as long as he looks badass!

• Canonically so pretty while cross dressing!!!

• Avatar of Greed but he constantly puts his loved ones (including his brother and Luke) over things of monetary value

• His first instinct when it comes down to it is to rescue the bank teller not the money

• His self esteem is so bad he needs the win. He literally thinks he's nothing and useless on his own

• Friends with jason voorhees!!!!

• Brings late night snacks to MC and his big brother when they're up working late

• Coos and uses baby voices with cats

• Held MC's dying body while crying/calling their name

• Is a demon who's scared of ghosts!!!!!! Because he once got possessed by the ghost of ADAM FROM THE BIBLE

• Pretty white Demon markings

• Canonically queer icon

• Was the push for me to finally go and get a proper diagnosis therefore - ADHD ICON

• I WILL WRITE THE REST OF THIS FIC AND POST IT

[sid-the-sandwich]

Obey me! Character Album Song Colours

Above is the template, You can put your album in the bottom right:

i tried my best to add songs for each colour that fit each boy, it was a bit difficult lol

Song names:

Red:

Lucifer - I Love You Like An Alcoholic

Mammon - Talk Too Much

Leviathan - Suki Suki Daisuki

Satan - Hayloft ii

Asmodeus - Literal Legand

Beelzebub - Inferno

Belphagor - Telephones

Orange:

Lucifer - Take Me To Church

Mammon - Partners in Crime

Leviathan - I am Falling for You

Satan - The Other Side of Paradise

Asmodeus - Cupid (Twin Version)

Beelzebub - Moral of the Story

Belphagor - If I Killed Someone for You

Yellow:

Lucifer - Dream a Little Dream of Me

Mammon - My Alcoholic Friends

Leviathan - I Cant Fix You

Satan - Ocean Eyes

Asmodeus - Circus

Beelzebub - GUY.EXE

Belphagor - Moonlight on the River

Green:

Lucifer - Hermit the Frog

Mammon - Cupid's Chokehold

Leviathan - Everyone Adores You (At Least I do)

Satan - Evil

Asmodeus - Primadonna

Beelzebub - Soldier, Poet, King

Belphagor - Home

Light Blue:

Lucifer - Sway

Mammon - The Adults Are Talking

Leviathan - Sports

Satan - CATS

Asmodeus - Toxic

Beelzebub - I Need a Hero (Shrek 2)

Belphagor - Control

Blue:

Lucifer - I Dont Smoke (Audiotree Live)

Mammon - Out of My League

Leviathan - Still With You

Satan - Duvet

Asmodeus - Young and Beautiful

Beelzebub - The Red Means I Love You

Belphagor - Our Word

Purple:

Lucifer - I Hate Everyone But You

Mammon - Bubble Gum

Leviathan - Jealousy

Satan - Majora's Mask soundtrack

Asmodeus - La La Land

Beelzebub - Cloud 9

Belphagor - Cigerette Duet

Pink:

Lucifer - Stalkers Tango

Mammon - IT Girl

Leviathan - Fire Drill

Satan - Animal

Asmodeus - Emo Boy

Beelzebub - Looking Out For You

Belphagor - Dead to Me

White:

Lucifer - EVERYTHING

Mammon - I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend

Leviathan - I Can't Handle Change

Satan - Happy Pills

Asmodeus - Touch You

Beelzebub - Birds on a Wire

Belphagor - Jobless Monday

Black:

Lucifer - Daddy Issues

Mammon - Cooler Than Me

Leviathan - Megalovania

Satan - Blackout Days

Asmodeus - Toxic (Pitch Perfect)

Beelzebub - Baby Hotline

Belphagor - Deathwish

Brown:

Lucifer - Its Been So Long

Mammon - Greed

Leviathan - Chamber of Reflection

Satan - All Eyes on Me

Asmodeus - Stars are Blind

Beelzebub - Cake by the Ocean

Belphagor - I Can't Decide

here is mine:

[moth--blood]

embracing my neurodivergence and assigning Obey Me characters sharks!! you cannot change my mind im right

[ ft the brothers, dia, barb, luke, simeon, solomon, thirteen ]

Lucifer

is a mix of a Lemon shark and a Great White.

they're both surprisingly chill animals who just look really scary; Great Whites have been known to swim in small pacts of their own species for hours, just hanging out. Lemon sharks have EXCELLENT memories and frequently befriend the divers who study them! they like being touched on the nose and are very protective of their diver friends.

Mammon

is a mix of a Thresher shark and a Spinner shark.

Both are relatively docile, and quick swimmers. he's more Spinner than Thresher, as Spinner's are faster and much nicer!

Levi

is a Thresher, Horn, and Grey Tip Reef shark mix.

Thresher sharks, as stated above, are relatively chill. they also constantly look nervous which i think is cute. Horn sharks are the most familial of sharks i could find, being some of the only (if the only) sharks who temporarily care for their pups. they've been known to immediately flee when humans get close, they're very skidish. Grey Tip Reef sharks are the most aggressive of the reef sharks, just barely, though they're only aggressive if provoked.

also i think all of them are cute and i think levi would like these three........

Satan

is a Salmon Shark / Great White mix.

both look really scary, but they can be really chill! Salmon sharks specifically have been known to be very aggressive in the ocean, but they almost never attack humans. Great Whites, as mentioned with Lucifer, are also pretty chill when un-provoked :)

Asmo

listen. listen i think they're both very cute. asmo is either a cookie cutter or a leopard shark.

Cookie Cutter sharks are kind of like Facultative parasites, and I think that fits asmo specifically for the reminder that, no matter how cute he is, he isn't harmless. he's still an Avatar of Sin. Leopard sharks, alternatively, are absolute sweethearts and are very docile towards humans

Beel

was the easiest to assign, almost no thought necessary, he is carpet shark <3 specifically, whale shark or a horn shark.

whale sharks are gentle giants, and absolute babies. they eat a LOT, they're kind, they're the most active of carpet sharks. they are built like busses and i woukd love to pat one on its big ass nose <3

horn sharks, as aforementioned with levi, are the most familial. and i think they fit beel because hes so family centered, is a little cute

Belphie

like his twin, is only carpet shark. specifically, a tasseled wobbegong and a nurse shark.

tasseled wobbegongs are stationary ambush predators. they're relatively chill, but they have been known to jump out and attack divers and swimmers who get too close. Nurse sharks are special, being some of the only sharks who are able to sit on the ocean floor for long periods of time because their gills evolved to filter water without having to move. while nurse sharks dont sleep, per se, Wobbegongs do! they're nocturnal!! sleepy stationary sharks for the sleepy boy

Diavolo

is a great white.

as previously mentioned, looks scary, but is a babie

Barbatos

lemon shark;

also as previously mentioned with Lucifer, looks scary, but is very nice and protective of those he's fond of.

Luke & Simeon

both are Angel sharks, but luke is also a lantern shark because he litol

for the angel shark case, Angel's are. SO chill. they're not giant fans of humans but sometimes they'll let divers pick them up n stuff!

if i am to go off of vibes specifically:

Lucifer, Satan, and Diavolo are all great whites. scary looking.

Asmo is a baby salmon shark. cutie.

Mammon is a spinner shark. speedy cutie.

Beel is a whale shark. babie.

Belphie is a bull shark. pretty, asshole.

Levi and Solomon are reef sharks. skidish, pretty, can be an asshole.

Barbatos is a lemon shark. scary, pretty.

Luke is a lantern shark. little.

Simeon is an angel shark. angel.

Thirteen is a chain catshark. pretty.

[dontfuckingbother]

Overanalyze helluva trailer with me:

i.m.p. has to get out of hell (or hide) that's why they move their job to earth (maybe?)

GHOSTBUSTERS MODE ON

why is blitzo waving a vibrator at millie will always be a question

why is fizzy waving a GIANT DICK WILL BE A QUESTION EVEN IF A KNOW A CONTEXT. and we can see wings jewelery in the background??? hmmmmm

dhorks and cherubs work together, not much of a surprise there

Stolas finally gave the crystal to blitzo

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT WAR MACHINE DHORKS CAME UP WITH IT LOOKED LIKE THAT SHIT FROM BIG 6

goetia family reunion WE NEED TO SEE PAIMON HE'S SO GOOD AT DADDYING

"this transactional thing we have, it's not right anymore, it hasn't been (Stolas VA, sit on my face)"

why is blitzo holding an XXL yankee candle will always be a question

traumatised owl(s)

OKAY WE HAVE MAMMON WHICH GIVES ME HOPE WE'LL SEE MORE OFF ASMODEUS AND FIZZMODEUS PLEASE PLEASE PLEAK PLEAK

"i just want someone to care, i want someone to want... ME!" (i want you stolas, don't worry baby, i will make it better shhhhh)

"YOU FUCKS THINK YOU CAN DO THIS EEVERYYYY TIMEEEEE like you can just PLAY WITH OUR FEELINGS BECAUSE WE'RE SMALLER AND NOT AS IMPORTANT!!!!!!!!!"

BLITZ UGLY CRYING (IN HIS MOTHERS ARMS???)

Stolas and Blitzo fight (first neilg gaiman, now vivzo, my death note does have page limit you know!!!!!)

I live for Stola's sarcastic bow to blitz

If I had a nickle every time i saw blitzo ugly crying on his red couch i'd have three nickles which is not much but it's weird it happened thrice

"YOU'RE A DISGRACE'" IS THAT YOU PAIMON MY PAIMON SENSES ARE TINGLING. Is it about him finding out he slept with an imp? Or him being gay in general? Or him divorcing Stella?

Millie having a beef with Blitzo, now that's unexpected

FIZZY AND BLITZO WORKING TOGETHER???? Also why are they standing next to a big heart-mirror-machiney thingy??

"YOU NEVER LOVED MOTHER, AND YOU DON'T LOVE ME, YOU ONLY LOVE HIM"

those are the most beautiful and haunting words i've heard in a while

"I DESTROY EVERYTHING I MAKE EVERYONE'S LIVES WORSE"

Fizzy's rehabilitation period!!!!! Another puzzle! Blitzo's father was with him at the hospital!

BLITZO WHY DID YOU JUST CRUSH MILLIE'S HEAD UP A WALL

"i don't wanna be this way... not forever"( NOT HIM IMAGINING STOLAS WHILE SAYING THAT)

"Thank you Blitz. For making me... SO happy. Even for only a little while" I am not well

Stolas singing on a stage with Verosika and Tex????

WHY DID STOLAS STROKE THIS ROSE LIKE THAT SIR???? SIR????

no fucking way we'll be getting two episodes now, and the other three after fucking october, i will fucking AGHHHHHHHHHHH AIHFIUHAKUSHKDJHAKJSHDKJHAKJHDAKJ

Let's overanalize the names of the episodes:

The full mood - the big party at goetia because of the full moon? Is this the episode when stolas and blitzo break apart??? who knows, i dont

Apology tour - is this the episode with Verosika? Please let Stolas go wild on that stage

Ghostfuckers - okay so in this episode they go work as ghostbusters in that creepy hotel or whatever

Mastermind - big climac with dhorks and cherubs plz

Sinman - Please let it not be a stupid fucking christmas episode, but a full ass redeption arch for blitzo and him reuniting with stolas, if it'll be a fucking cliffhanger like season 1 of OFMD i will fucking i dont know what set myself on fire, thats what will fucking happen fucking god FUUUUUUUCK i swear like a fucking sailor

I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine

I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine

I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine

I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine I am not fine

[hyperfixat]

What they call you! Obey Me! Brothers.

I have fics lined up and just wanted to share names that I think they’d use on their lover!!!

Lucifer

- little one, little love.

i dont have much reasoning behind it. i like it. you’re human, tiny, idk.

Mammon

- doll, babydoll

seems rigjt idk.

- treasure

yeah yeah cliche idc

Levi

Fucking weeb!!

- gamer.

probably in an ironic way like ‘are you ready gamer 🤓’

- your name.

idk idk idk

Satan

- love.

Romantic woah.

- darling

Again. Tbh anything classic.

Asmodeus

- doll. babydoll.

- baby, babygirl, babyboy

- cutie

no reasoning here!

Beel

- sweetheart

Sweet, food eg theres connection

- your name

straight forawrd

Belphie

- pillow, blanket

as a joke

- babe, baby

Sleepy belphie looking for you :( “babe?” Awhhhhh i love him TT

[chrolloluvr]

How about cuddling headcanons for Adam, Mammon, and Alastor? I'm in need of snuggles.

♡ Mammon, Adam & Alastor: Cuddling Hcs ♡

Note: YESSS I LOVE SNUGGLES!!!! And ty for requesting, so here are my thoughts! ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

Female!Reader, AFAB

Warnings: Sexual themes, thats all!

Mammon ♡:

Always the big spoon. He is super clingy, but only a few times will he ever little spoon.

When he is a big spoon, he likes smelling you. I know it sounds a bit strange, but he likes your natural scent. So he will sniff your hair, neck, etc.

When he is rarely a little spoon, he will just lay there while you wrap your arms around his neck. It looks silly since he is so large, but you two manage to make it work. (or atleast he forces you to)

He comes home really late at night. So he thinks your so cute when he comes home and find you asleep without him. So he will place you on his chest and stomach, and fall asleep with you.

A little secret between the two of you, he likes when you baby and coddle him. Like telling him stories, etc, But if you ever mention it to anybody else, he will go full on ballistic on you.

He likes to use your boobs as pillows. If they are big or small, he just likes laying on your chest. It helps him fall asleep easier, even though he is an extremely heavy sleeper.

His favorite cuddling position is you laying ontop of him. He likes how easily he can see you, and how he can touch you, and run his hands over your warm body easily.

If he is upset, all he wants is your hands massaging or wrapping around his (nonexistent) neck :(

If you try to get up, he wont let you. He'll trap you in his four arms. Even when he is asleep he knows whenever you are about to get up. He wont let you get up to even go to the bathroom, so you might as well just pee your pants at this point. He has a certain reflex.

"Nooo stay.... five more minutes, cmon sweets...."

However, if he needs to move, he wont hesitate to get up and just let you fall.

He prefers if you are wearing less clothing while cuddling. Not like fully naked, but in a bra and underwear. He likes how your in a relaxed state. Him on the other hand, he will sleep fully clothed. He likes to feel your natural warmth, since he is naturally cold.

He also likes trapping his head in your thighs. They are nice and warm for him, and sooo comfy. Like if you two are watching TV, or if he is rambling on about basically anything that annoys him- (which is everything at this point)

Wont make anything sexual unless you initiate. Its not like he isnt horny (trust me, he is quite a bit), But he just gets lazy sometimes...

Cuddles in his webs. He will make a cute little fort for you out of pillows and webs to make you comfortable and eased for him if you are alone.

He hates when people try to get in his way of you and your daily cuddles. Will drop anything and everything to cuddle with you.

His favorite places to cuddle are on his big webs at the stadium, or alone in bed. He wont flat out cuddle you in the webs, but will get very comfortable.

He will have you snuggle up to hip, one of his left arms on top of your head, the other around your waist.

Overall, he is stubborn when it comes to getting his way during cuddling, but he makes it somewhat enjoyable.

Some things he will say:

"Babe, c'mere for a second. I need your company right now, hm?"

"Awh, your such a good girl, you're so cute layin' on me like this"

"Just gonna take one photo, hope you dont mind sweets...."

"Your gonna let daddy lay on your thighs, yeah?"

〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰

Adam ♡:

Switch between big and little spoon. Also super clingy, even more so that Mammon. So he always has to be touching you in some way.

When he is big spoon, he likes resting his head in the crook of your neck. It relaxes him to an extent, since he has ALOT of anger issues...

When he is little spoon, he likes to feel you hold him. It makes him feel safe with you, and like all of his problems are lifted.

If you try to get up, he will start complaining and whining like a child.

"ughhh noo babe... come back...god damnit..."

His favorite cuddling position is you laying face up on his chest, with one leg up like this. Because he likes to see all of his favorite assets.

Speaking of assets, he likes your ass. Grabbing it, especially in this position. He will run his hand over it with one hand, and give it the occasional slap.

Or he will put his hands down your shirt/bra and just cup your breasts, and leave his hands there. Not even moving them.

Another one of his favorite ways to cuddle with you is by laying his head on your ass. He will literally just lay there, and act liek nothing is wrong with it. Like before bed, watching TV, he will even make you do it if he is in his office.

His favorite thing to see you wear when cuddling is an oversized t shirt w/ no bra, and panties. He thinks you look cozy, and a plus if you wear one of his shirts. Or one of his robes/any of his clothing.

He is a super heavy sleeper. He snores really really loud. You literally have to use an airhorn to wake him up. He also sleeps with his mouth hanging open.

As I have said before, he will somehow turn everything sexual, including simple cuddling. You could by nuzzling into him all cute, and he would start to run his hands in your panties. -_-

Hes a chatterbox. Even when he sleeps, he sleeptalks. He will blab on about his day, how annoying some people are, how sera is a real bitch-

SO you physically have to cover his mouth with your hand.

Does not like taking his mask off, but you are a rare exeption. He just feels so comfortable around you, and he loooves the feeling of your hands raking through his hair. It gets him to shut up really fast.

But overall, he is actually really enjoyable to be around, especially when cuddling. Just don't get too attached, because then he wont leave you alone.

Some things he will say:

"Please? Lets just lay down for a bit babe, im tired."

"Ughhh just stay do you have to go to the bathroom every 5 seconds?"

"If you leave im gonna be very upset y/n." :(

〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰

Alastor ♡:

Always the big spoon. He just likes the feeling of you laying with him, and being able to hold you innocently.

His favorite part about cuddling is feeling your skin flush again his. He in general does not enjoy being touched, but by you? You are lucky to be considered the only exeption.

He likes when you play with his ears sometimes. Most of the time he wont let you, but when he is feeling docile he likes feeling your fingers rub and scratch the base of his ears. Never his antlers though.

Or when you rest your head against his chest. He cant help but bring a hand up to your back and affectionately sooth it.

If you try to get up, he also will not let you. Unless you have to go to the bathroom, he will accompany you since he is a gentleman. (in his mind, that is a gentlemanly thing to do.)

"Sweetheart, do you need to get up? Here, let me join you."

His favorite position is the classic hold from behind. He sleeps with his eyes open, so it helps if you are not scared by him and facing away...

He enjoys holding you affectionately, and being so vulnerable around you. You can also hear gentle radio static that sounds like white noise.

Places he likes to cuddle are his bed, chair up in his radio tower, and on the couch occasionally. And only if he is sure nobody is around.

Alastor is a very private person, especially with you. He prefers to keep his love life and cuddling activities secluded.

His favorite thing to see you wear is a silk robe, either red or white. He thinks you look elegant and very attractive to him. He likes the feeling of the silk against him, which soothes him for some reason.

He never takes cuddling and makes it sexual. Even if you were to initiate, he would play dumb and act like he doesn't know what you are trying to do. He just hates ruining he moment with his darling.

Meaning he takes snuggling with you very seriously. He will drop everything to nuzzle up to you. He acts like it doesn't faze him, but really it does in only a way you can do.

Here are some things he will say to you:

"Darling, how about you and I relax for a little bit? It may ease your nerves."

"Sweetheart, are you asleep? Oh dont you just look adorable."

"Hm, how about you get up now? Its been a little while, my dear."

So overall, snuggling with him gets you really relaxed, but he has a make staring problem if you don't mind...

[baizhuswifey]

An unexpected yet lovely surprise

It was a regular ol day at the house of lamentation all the brothers Luke,simeon Solomon and Barbatos and diavolo were all sitting in the common room some on the floor some in chairs when suddenly you hear the doorbell ring "huh that's weird did any of you order anything" Lucifer asks his brothers and you watch them all shake their heads no "one of you should go get the door"diavolo states "not it" leviathan says "not it" the rest of them follow and everybody stared at you so naturally you get your ass up and you start walking to the door and your here something weird almost like a cry,you figure it's no big deal and you continue to walk to the door.you open it and find a brown box with holes poked in it and you feel it moving.not wanting to pick it up you scooch it back to the common room "SOMEBODY GET A KNIFE" you yell so when you open the box whatever it is doesn't attack you. everybody looks at the box and mammon comes to your aid with a knife everyone else starts backing up "what the fuck is that why is it moving" he mumbles scaredy "i don't know but we are about to find out"you reply softly "don't you open that fucking box" he mumbles back . Everybody else mumbles gently."Lucifer walks up and looks at the box "stop being scared let's open it most of us are grown ass men"looking at mammon and the rest of the frightened men and then there's Luke who backed up all the way and is more than 45 feet away (he was taught well) and simeon who peering over barbatoes shoulder and the other brothers are scattered around.diavolo comes to the box too and looks at it like dog "oooh what do you think is in there" he says "young master get away from that thing what if it's a rat" barbatos screeches "well if it is I'm going to throw it at mammon" Lucifer says "im tired of you guys 1....2....3.." you rip the box open only to see something covered in a fluffy pink blanket moving and yawning gently "oh....what do you think it is" mammon whispers you gently uncover the blanket to see..........a sleeping baby girl "oh my guys look" diavolo says with a surprised little smirk "dont wake her up" you whisper gently picking up the infant placing her over your shoulder "you look at mammon and Lucifer with very confused faces "whys mc holding a baby" leviathan mumbles "bro where did you come from" mammon whispers back "I've been here the whole time youve been bickering about opening the box" leviathan says back "on to the important part who's baby is this" said diavolo "he doesnt look like anybody in this house soooo" leviathan said "she's so cute" said mammon "let me see her" said diavolo"you look at him holding his hands out for the baby that fits in his palm and you sideye him "getting attached to her already i get it but let me see her for a second please" he whispers to you so you hand him the sleeping baby expecting him to say something. He inspects her a bit closer until he hears something on her wrist "oh a bracelet I think that's her name let's see......lamouri what a pretty name" "indeed" barbatos whispers

ANYWAYS THATS PART ONE I CAN WRITE PART TWO SOMETIME LATER THIS WEEK THANK YOU FOR READING.

[ur-localsimp]

Obey me random quotes part 63

Lucifer: Kids. Bed. Now. I want to talk to your uncle *looks over at mammon*

Mammon:no kids stay.. please stay!

Lucifer:Go!

Mammon: stay!

Lucifer: you go!

Kid!M!MC: *shrugs and carries baby!Satan to the room*

Kid!Gn!MC: *starts walking to their room*

Mammon: Gn stay!

Lucifer: Now!

Kid!Gn!MC: *leaves*

Mammon:Nb don’t move!

Kid!Nb!MC: wha-

Lucifer: you go!

Mammon: Nb! Stay!!

Lucifer: GET OUT OF HERE OR IM GONNA-

Kid!Nb!MC: *slowly backs up*

Mammon: DONT LEAVE ME!!!!

[funhouse-mirror-barbie]

I did one of these for fun, and because I thought it would be fun to breakdown the way I like to look at characters! I would love to see everyone else’s thoughts and tier lists! All of my opinions could change with time as the stories progress.

Explanations of the tiers below if ur interested—these are really just personal opinions and have nothing to do with any sort of actual critique. More ranty than usual near the end:

S tier: these are characters that I think have a lot of potential, and could have been a LOT more interesting and engaging to me personally if they were written well and had better characterization + I like their designs more than the rest, or I think they’re actually funny. Most of them are women characters with designs I really like that I think deserve SO much more than what the writings given to them. Plus mammon b/c he’s genuinely funny to me, I like his voice, and i think he’s attractive.

A tier: Same as the above, but I’m just not quite as interested in them and their storylines as S tier. Most of the A tiers are characters that I vibe with but still have problems with their character designs (Ozzie, Fizz, and Bee are the biggest ones). Still made me laugh or are silly, but not quite as much as the S tiers either.

B tier: Characters that I like okay enough, but are really just too bland for me. I don’t think they’re necessarily bad characters, but they’re just very cookie cutter to me. They’d have to have a LOT more personality for me to like them more. I like their designs, but they still have issues—Husk is in here pretty much just b/c I love Keith David, and think he did such a good job with him that it made me like him more.

C tier: These guys are the ones that kind of annoy me. They’re sort of nothing characters that feel more like plot devices, and we dont know enough about them for them to be really interesting, they just sort of exist. Moxxie is there because I’m so tired of him. He hasn’t done anything bad but like. I’m tired of him constantly getting punched down on and being given SO much focus over Millie.

D tier: these guys straight up just annoy the hell out of me. As characters they seem to exist either just to be as annoying and edgy as possible, or they’re so poorly written that probably no amount of potential can make me interested in them. They seem like they’re either around as creator’s pets or excuses to say sexist and fatphobic shit. Loona is there specifically b/c she’s so constantly mean to other characters that it’s frustratingly boring. Beginning to wonder if the writers think that if you have any sort of trauma or difficulties in your past that it means you can just be horrible to everyone around you. People use these characters backstories to explain their inconsistent characterization as if their backstories weren’t also just. Writing decisions. Angel Dust’s series voice direction was terrible he sounds really nasally and whiny to me and I hate that they wrote him to just sexually harass everyone.

F tier: I hate these guys. They are so annoying to me. There is next to nothing charming about them. Two of them are literally rapists that the fandom insists on either weirdly babying or acting like they’re some funny slapstick character. When like. They’re rapists yall. Andraelphus literally just exists to be the replacement male villain to stella, Alastor is one of the absolutely worst character designs and characterizations I’ve ever seen, and crim and Chaz…idk I just don’t like em.

Zestial (Who???) tier: imma be real zestial didn’t do anything wrong. He just. He’s just a cardboard cut out. I know who he is but he literally does nothing and serves no purpose AT ALL other than to give James Monroe Igleheart a role in Hazbin. Which like. Good for James. He’s probably the most talented singer in the whole cast, and he’s a fantastic actor. There’s a reason that his other two characters, Ozzie and Vortex are in A tier. But damn Zestial is just such a nothing boring character that I literally was like “what character is that????” for a sec when making this. Sorry Zestial. You’re not actually below F tier youre just. In the void of TRULY pointless characters. Sorry :(

[beetlebug-bii]

Part 3 of feral mc but with Belphie being released from the attic. Just imagine Belphie trying to kill mc and they just bite him. Not even Barbatos could handle the child so I highly doubt Belphie could either lol.

Feral Child Mc (part three)

MC Gets Betrayed & Bombastically Side Eyed Their Way To Beating A Bitch.

A/N: I like my writing to be nothing short of silly goofy, i also wrote this at like 4am two weeks ago and was so surprised to see it in my drafts. Did i proof read it? No.

Enjoy anyways💕

Now, you have been a menace since you've arrived

Only truly unstoppable by Diavolo, Lucifer and Barbatos on a good day

Today

Was not one of those days

No

Not at all

You see

Late in the night after being very snuggly tucked in

And then duck taped to the bed

And then your pajamas stapled to the bed

And then tied to the bed

In their defense

Not a single brother has gotten a single decent night of sleep

Not since Mammon awoke one night to see your little face peeking out from the vents

You screamed at him and launched from the darkness, stealing his sun glasses before scrumbling deep into the walls

no one has ever heard Mammon scream so loudly

Needless to say they were pretty fucking done with your scrumbling

Besides, they tied Satan to the bed and look at him! A totally chill and normal member of society :D

Anyways you were built different and managed to escape

You had to check on your little friend in the attic after all, it had been a few days

Upon going in, you glared at eachother for exactly three minutes and fourteen seconds

Before he started the whole sweet act on you

"Awh hey, you can let me out now right? You can do that? Whose a good little human?"

Offense taken

You werent a dog

though you wont lie and say you havent growled back at Cerberus before...

No you know what

Who does this man think he is?

You are a child with 6 of the deadliest pacts in the world!

...

...

...

Wait a second

Who thought that was a good idea

Genuinely

You are feral

A monster

The other students at RAD cower before you

You made the Angel's cry

YOU CHOKED BARBATOS WITH A SHOE LACE

WHO IN THE 7 CIRCLES OF HELL THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO MAKE A PACT WITH YOU OF ALL PEOPLE

well whatever it's not like this is gonna come back and bite you

But you werent gonna release the bitch from his kennel

Not without a price

Mammon would be so so proud of you!

It took a lot of back and forth, but he promised 12 firecrackers, a new plushie, and a trip to the candy store

Hell yea candy

Open up oh magic lock

Oh he fucking kicked you across the room

Well that's not fucking candy

Lying prick

So this fucking incel loser started ranting about something or other

To be honest you didnt care

In fact you decided he didnt get a monologue

You were pissed off

You freed him

Were you the embodiment of capitalism while doing so?

Maybe

But that doesnt mean he can just hit you

Like

You have such a cute face

He's just mad that you're the baby of the family now

And that thought gave you a great idea!!

"I'm telling Lucifer"

Would have been your final words

Had you not been

Well

You.

Next thing you know he's chasing you down the stairs, grabbing you and choking you out

Which

Not gonna lie

Was a bitch move

So you kicked him square in the jaw and started screaming, just like papa lucifer taught

Stranger danger kids

Dont release strange men from the attic in exchange for candy

It's not worth it and they are lying

So obviously you pissed off what's his name

You're pretty sure its bitch boy

Anyways so you pissed off bitch boy and he started trying to stab you with a chair leg

Which was like

So rude

And the others were like bro stop

Except more panicked you're pretty sure but you werent a crybaby bitch like this loser so you know

You had to go for the knees

You slid around him, kicked him in the back of the knees

This wasnt your first rodeo

Apparently

Because you climbed on the demonic cow and grabbed the horns man

You were holding on for dear life before you just bit into his head

Like

I dont think he even knew what to do at that point

You ruined his WHOLE SPEECH

THEN FOR SOME REASON YOU GOT MAD AT HIM

gee I wonder why

THEN HIS BROTHERS SHOWED UP

THIS WASNT SUPPOSED TO BE HOW IT WENT AT ALL

PRICK

Recounting this tale now, a few months later, you'd like to think that he was just being the most frfr brother out of everyone

You two had to be torn apart like a pair of summer popsicles

You were kicking and screaming

He was kicking and screaming

Mammon was kicking and screaming, somehow his leg got caught in between you two

It was a warzone

The hallway was destroyed

Multiple bedrooms? Just gone

The brothers?

So

So tired...

None of that fake shit

Deep down you know you would've won though

You still call him bitch boy💕