#man. i'm saying this and remembering how ashamed and scared i was to be in public spaces when i started because i was new

[icarusredwings]

It's bed time, kiddo 2/3

Wade's being a brat. Althea ain't having that.

Tw: Mentions of alcohol and voices

Opening the fridge, He leaned over to get a soda. Turning, he kicked it closed, beginning to hum as he popped open the tab. Putting it to his lips, he glanced up, jolting hard. Spitting out the soda, his hand coming to his chest as he fell back against the couter.

"Wade! Jesus fucking christ!!"

"Hi wolvie..."

"You just almost got sliced in half!! What is wrong with you!? Do you want me to hurt you!? For fucks sake!"

"...." his eyes widdened and frowned, pulling Fluffy up to hold tighter.

"Im sorry.. sorry.. I just-" he took a deep breath and sighed. "Aren't you supposed to be in bed?" He asks, looking as if he had just seen a ghost, trying to calm down, gripping the counter.

"...My tummy feels sad."

"What? You were just asleep. I saw it."

From the living room, Al spoke up with a soft smirk. "How does it feel? Fuckers so silent. Scares the shit out of me all the time."

"But... my tummy is sad."

"What does that mean??" He squinted some, trying to work out this weird puzzle of words.

"He's either hungry or he's anxious about something." The older woman says. "Now shut up, I'm trying to watch Wheel of Fortune."

Logan rolled his eyes. "Sure you are..." He turns to see Wade looking a little too scared for his liking.

"So... uhm.. Are you hungry?"

But he dosn't awnser, staring at him with such hesitancy as if Logan would snap at him again if he awnsered.

Grunting, Logan mentally stabbed himself. Wade was so sensitive to him yelling. He knew this. All that trust.. so easily taken away. "What do you want to eat, kid? Hot dogs?"

Still, he stares. His shoulders slouch, bringing his hand up to rub his face. "..Come're," he tells him, opening an arm to him. Immediately, he came, starting to sob.

Rubbing his back, Logan let out yet another sigh. "I know.. I know, Im sorry. I didn't.." he didn't mean to scare him. He hated scaring him, actually. Made him want to get his claws surgically removed, but you know, declawing your kitty was unethical. He needed to be able to scratch sometimes.

He had been so freaked out that Logan had to pick him up again, softly bouncing him and telling him it was okay.

"Wade, cut that shit out! You're a big boy remember?"

"He's allowed to cry." The man says, confused as to why Al was rude, seeing as she's the one who told him to be nice the first time.

"Logan, sweetheart.. You know he's faking, right?"

"...what?"

"That boy is pulling a burlap sack over your eyes and water boarding you."

Logan blinked at the woman. ".. I dont think thats how that saying goes.."

"Oh well, anyway, he's fake crying. He does that to get what he wants and he's turning you into a fool."

Logan shifted him to the counter, giving him a suspicious glance. "Is that tru- oh you little shit!"

Wade's face wasn't even wet. Sure, his eyes were glossy but nowhere near the amount of crying he was claiming. Holding fluffy closer to his face, he looked at him like a guilty dog, almost ashamed if it wasn't for the tiny pull at the corner of his lips. He was proud of his preformance.

"Are you happy with yourself? Hm?" He crosses his arms, looking at him sternly.

A soft nod.

Logan snorted softly. "At least you're telling the truth... so what do you want?"

Again he whispers, "My tummy is sad."

Thinking about what Althea said, He rose a brow, beginning to playfully and driamtically sniff over him. A soft squeal and giggles came from him, trying to push his face away. "Noo!! Kitty! Don't bite!!"

"Fucking freaks.." Al grumbled, Petting the rat dog in her lap.

"Hmm.. Okay. You're telling the truth about that. But why is your tummy sad? Does it hurt?"

He shook his head.

"Are you hungry?" He asks again. For a moment, Wade thinks, trying to see if he was hungry.

"Cup?"

Logan shook his head. "Nope. Bed time."

"But.." he was trying to find his words.

"Mommy said I can ask for cup whenever I want."

His brows raised a bit, both surprised and proud of how many words he said. "That's true but I'm not mommy."

Instantly he began pouting, frowning and crossing his arms, mimicing the way Logan did often. "Why?"

"Ppft. Yeah, Logan, why are you not Mommy?" The grandmother asks, teasing him. It seemed that the closer he got with people, the more teasing he got, too. It made him feel home.

"You're not helping." He gives her a quick glare despite the fact she couldn't see it, now turning back to Wade, putting his hands on either side of him as he sat. "Why what? Why no cup?"

He nods with a huff.

"Wade, It's bedtime. No more cups."

"You're being mean." He whines, kicking the back of the counter with a loud grunt.

Rolling his eyes. "It's not being mean, You don't need anymore alchool. You've already had 5 shots tonight. No more. Especially not if you're going to act like that." He grumbles, wishing he didn't act like a brat every time Vanessa came over. She always spoiled him too much.

He whines loudly, being quite annoying. "But you get a lot."

"Im big." Logan says blatantly, having learned that this usually stopped him from questioning any further.

"Oh yeah....." He mumbled, begining to think as he petted Fluffy. "Hmm...can I just have milk?"

"Juice. Take it or leave it."

"In my cup?"

He groans. "Yes in your cup."

"Okay!"

And so, He comes around the counter, opening the fridge once again as he grabs the grape juice, filling up the Spiderman cup after rinsing it out decently well.

Taking the cup, He began drinking it, now kicking his feet happily that he not only caused a scene, got his cup, but also stayed up later, then he was told. To him, that was a massive win.

"There. Now go to bed."

"You come?"

"Sure, why not. If it'll make you go to bed, then fine." By now, he figured he probably wouldn't go to sleep and stay asleep unless someone was in bed with him.

He's gotten used to sleeping with Althea for years now, so it made sense why he wouldn't be able to stay asleep if alone. He usually only slept by himself if it was a sick day and he wanted to be left alone.

"Come on. You want me to carry you?"

His eyes widden as he nods quickly only to pause. "Kitty..."

"What now?" He wanted to lay his head on the counter and just not awnser him anymore but he knew this wasn't a good idea. Then Wade would just get into things and make a mess for them to clean up.

Either that or end up with the whole bottle again to chug what was left of it. He knew that it made his head shut up for a little bit, he knew full well that, that 5 minutes of silence was worth the loss of balance but he didn't want Wade following into his bad habits... He was trying to be a better role model for him.

"Im hungry..." Though the way he says this was as if he knew Logan would be upset with him, smiling sheepishly as he held fluffy tight, close to his face. The cuter he looked the less he thought he'd get introuble.

"What!? But I just asked if you were hungry like 5 minutes ago?!"

He batted his eyes, whining softly. "...I wasn't hungry then.."

So. Here they are. All 4 of the housemates on the couch, Wade with a plate of microwaved hot dogs and ketchup all over his fingers, Logan in the middle trying his damndest not to fall asleep, and Al, who was snoring already as A re-run played on the tv.

Giggling at whatever was going on in his head, Wade seemed happy as a clam as he clapped. At least, that's what Logan thought. In reality, He was sneaking pieces of hot dog to Puppins, who was wiggling her bare tail and spinning in cirlces as well as licking the ketchup off of him.

It wasn't until Wade let out an audible yet giggly "Ewww you're so yucky." From the feeling of her tounge trying to wrap around and eat his finger instead that Logan sat up. "Hey! What did I tell you about feeding her ketchup!?"

Squealing again, He gave her an entire hot dog and shooed the dog. "Run puppy!!"

And so she did, taking her prize from being adorable and doing tricks, running away from them, slipping under the table in which Logan grunted, reaching under to try to get it away from her.

Look- Its not that the hot dog was bad, it was the fact that it wasn't cut and was slathered in vinegar and tomato paste. He didn't want her to puke, nor choke but by the time he got it from her, she has already devoured half of it.

"Damn it, Wade!"

Picking up the little dog, He couldn't stop giggling, the sugar from the grape juice working through his system. "Kitty's gonna get us, Puppy!" He says to her as she barks, happily wagging more as she was having the best time, so many scraps tonight.

Running from Logan, he huffed, glaring. "I'm too old for this shit!" He growls. Catching Wade was like trying to grab an oiled weasel. Slipping through your fingers and biting your arm once you got ahold of them. How Al slept through the chase? Who knows. But when he did catch him, he threw him over his shoulder, carrying him away to the bed.

"Nooooo!!" He whined, reaching out for the dog to save him though she just sat here, panting and wiggling her behind against the floor.

"Traitor!" He called the puppy, whose head tilted and itched her ear, watching her owner get dragged away to his doom (bed time).

[grineerios]

i hope that every baby tenno ever knows that i'm not judging them for being new or not having a fancy fashionframe whenever i approach them in a relay or hub-

i promise i'm just looking at you and your profile with the widest most excited eyes ever, i'm just wayy too nervous to figure out what to say to you, and i don't want to be patronizing by asking if you want help ;w;

baby tenno, you are so so so cool- i'm so happy you're here, and i really hope you end up finding the same amount of enjoyment and community here that I have.

[echoofadream]

Good boy Choso, mommy reader, smut, lots of cum, a lil bit of fluff at the end

I'm thinking that out of all the jjk men, Choso is the best boy. He looks so adorable, so eager to please you, always wanting to do good for you. I imagine that he'd been a virgin until he found you and when he accidentally called you "mommy" you figured out what you were working with.

Poor boy came two minutes into the make out session and nearly started crying when you saw the mess on his pants, apologizing for being so inexperienced. But how could you be mad at him? Seeing how fast he could cum, how attracted he was to you, how needy your curvy body made him and, considering that he was half curse therefore having an immense amount of stamina, you figured you could cover him in his own cum every night.

He even begged you for more. Your hands, your feet, your mouth, your boobs, every part of your body wrapping around his lonely cock or rubbing it, making his eyes roll in the back of his head at the softness of your skin.

He'd tried masturbating before but was ashamed of it and, after all, he had more important stuff to focus on rather than his own carnal pleasure. But with you, oh with you, he couldn't bear you being away for a couple of hours. He'd start touching himself, face buried in your pillow, or your dirty underwear in his mouth. Coming back home and seeing your side of the bed covered in his fluids was no foreign sight. He felt so good when he was doing it, but as soon as he saw you enter the room and scan the mess he made he would start crying and the only way for the little thing to feel better is with your hand pumping his cock as he's sitting on your lap with your boob in his mouth.

And when you finally allow him to enter your pretty pussy he's over the moon. What was before just daily sessions of him eating you out and fingering you, making mommy feel good since he's such a good boy, touching you just like you instructed, turned into him collapsing on top of you as soon as his tip entered your sloppy cunt. You kissed his pretty face, flushed pink due to the shame he felt for cumming inside you as soon as his sensitive cock made contact with your divine gummy walls that wrapped around him so perfectly and made him lose his mind.

To help the sweet boy, you started riding him, his cum filling you up and sliding down your bodies. Since he was half curse he couldn't impregnate a human, so the two of you went at it raw every day.

He was always so excited to feel you. Teaching his little brother blood manipulation and suddenly remembering his perfect mommy? "Come with me to the bathroom please" he'd whisper and grab your hand, leading you to the closest bathroom where he would simply take off his pants, look at you with pleading eyes and say "please mommy...touch me..." And he was so cute you could never refuse.

He was also so love starved. The two of you would cuddle all the time, sleep together, cook together, walk in the park together. It was lovely. He was such a great partner, always willing to be of service, to make you proud, to make your life easier. He was there for you at all times. He was an emotional man who was not scared to show you his feelings, who never hid behind a fake persona and who cried when he felt like it, knowing you'll comfort him and never think he's less of a man because of it.

You loved him and he loved you and there was nothing more you could wish for.

[kurokens]

In The Night I Miss You | Satosugu

anime/manga: jujutsu kaisen

character: gojo satoru & geto suguru

words: 1.5k

pronouns: they/them

request: none

notes: sorry for the wait!!! but part 2 of In The Middle, my first satosugu piece, is finally here! a little bit more angsty this time and from satosugu's pov

not proof read

song rec: The Night I Miss You - Lee Changsub

genre: hurt comfort, fluff, slowburn, a little bit angsty, poly?

warnings: satosugu are in a loving relationship, misunderstanding, pinning, a lot of pinning on satosugu's end, reader is so oblivious, insecure and self conscious reader

Satoru and Suguru were quite the pair, always together since they can remember, as if fate created them for each other. Two pieces of a puzzle fitting perfectly together. They knew that, hell, everyone around them and their mother knew that. And yet, they both felt like something was missing, they spent years happily loving each others, and they never stopped, but they couldn't help but feel some kind of longing for something more.

At first it drove them crazy, how could they feel like that when they already had everything they ever dreamed of? They're both each others soulmate, and yet it's not enough, not anymore, not since they met you. You came and wrecked their perfect little world. You and your stupid smile, you and your stupid laugh, you and your stupid kindness, you and your stupid gentleness, just you and your stupid self. It was such a hard time for them to accept these feelings, especially with the growing guilt towards each others, clueless about the other similar torment. Until one day, the cat got out of the bag. "Say sugu..." The white-haired man started softly, a gentle hum coming back from his lover. "Are you satisfied? I mean, with us? Our couple?"

"Why? Yes, of course. Is something the matter? Have I done anything to make you think otherwise?" Suguru exhaled through a trembling breath.

"No, god no. It's just, god, how do I say this without sounding selfish. Have you ever felt like something was missing?" Satoru breathed out, closing his eyes in shame.

"You mean, like someone?" The black-haired man whispered shakily causin Gojo to spring up from his previous position, biwildered eyes meeting the ones he was ashamed to look at earlier.

"I didn't, I didn't say that, I mean not exactly, but, but maybe? Do you?" He murmured, a glint of hope in his orbs.

"Do you?" Suguru asked, just as hopeful.

"Yes, god, yes. I'm so sorry Sugu, I love you, I do, I promise. Like I've never loved anyone, but lately I've felt this way and I don't know why, and I didn't know how to tell you. Please tell me you do too. I can see it in your eyes, you do too right?" Satoru begged, his hands now clamped on the sheets below him.

"Yes, I do. God I was so scared to tell you, I'm so glad you feel it too. Oh, I'm so glad." Geto let out, his breathing calming down as well as his nerves. "You're thinking about someone in particular are you not?" He continued, reaching out to take Gojo's hands in his, easing down his stress.

"Yes..." He answered, tightening his grip around Geto's hands. "Do you?" Only receiving a nod along with the brightest smile he's ever seen his lover give him. "It's them, right?" Another nod came his way, just as he was pulled into a hug. "I'm so glad you feel the same. I was so scared. I thought I would lose you if I said anything, I don't want to lose you." He sobbed, finally letting out all the repressed feelings he's been having for the past couple of days.

Suguru stayed quiet, nuzzling his head into his lover's neck, grateful for the conversation, but also for the fact that they both felt the same. Of course the universe wouldn't betray them like that. They were soulmates, and it was destiny for both of them to fall for you, and maybe it was how it was always meant to be, not just them, but the three of you. And Suguru was more than content with this idea, he wished nothing more but to be able to share this overwhelming love with you as well. But he knew it would take time, it's not something they could act on just like that. They needed to proceed slowly, they didn't want to scare you, let alone lose you. Hell, losing you would shatter them, they could handle rejection just fine, but not having you in their life anymore just wasn't possible.

That's why Suguru had to physically stop Satoru from screwing this up. It was quite hard for the white-haired man child to refrain himself from acting on his desire to confess to you, and make you theirs. Since you lived with them, seeing you everyday and not being able to love you like he truly did, was the worst hardship he ever had to face. He wasn't used to not getting what he wanted, so having to wait for you to be theirs was proper torture. Don't get him wrong, it was also very hard for Suguru, but he knew they had to do this properly, and one of them had to be strong, because Satoru sure wasn't going to be. And because of that they would regularly have the same conversation in their room late at night, or early in the morning because it's when they were yearning for you the most. In the comfort of their bed.

"I dont know for how much longer I can do this Sugu..." Satoru sighed, burying his head in his lover's chest, muffling his next words. "They're so pretty, and so nice, and so caring, I love them so much. I would give anything to crush them between us right now."

"Me neither love, but there is nothing much we can do about it.They live with us." His black haired lover replied, laughing at his antics.

"I know, ugh I know, but it's getting so much harder everyday. Seeing them is becoming unbearable. I can't stand it anymore, we need to do something." He went on, on the verge of throwing a tantrum because of how much he yearned for you.

"Shh, I know, I feel the same. But we can't just drop this on them all of the sudden and expect it to go well." The oldest reasoned. "We will get there, we just need to take things slow Toru, we can't rush them into something like that."

And he was right, Satoru knew he was right, but it's been weeks and nothing changed. They tried being more affectionate towards you, complimenting you, being a little bit touchier and clingier without crossing any boundaries. Hell, they were looking at you so lovingly you could compare them to teenage boys going through their first ever crush. And yet, nothing changed, you were so clueless, it was driving them insane, but at the same time it was so endearing how oblivious you were to their adoration.

Everyone around you three noticed it, but you. It was quite amusing for your friends, but it was proper torture to them. And Satoru was growing reckless, he could'nt look at you in the eyes anymore, scared he will do something on impulse and regret it later because it could jeopardise your relationship, and your potential future together. Suguru wasn't much better to be fair, he could still look at you, but it was getting harder, and he couldn't bring himself to say anything to you that wasn't a heartfelt confession about their undying love for you, and his need to make you part of their life. So they decided to ton it down a bit, grow some distance between you, just the time for them to get themselves together, and to elaborate the perfect plan to confess to you properly without forcing you into anything. Yes, that was a good plan, or so they thought. Not once have they ever imagined this plan of action could backfire. Because why would it? It was the perfect plan!! Just until it wasn't.

After some time of putting distance between you, (literally a single day, Satoru couldn't more), the couple deciding to put their plan back into action but with a bit more hints being thrown into it. But, unfortunately for them, when they came back from work, the house was oddly silent, not a trace of you to be seen. "Sweetcheek?" Satoru called, walking towards your room, only to be met by complete silence. "Hey gorgeous, you in there?" He knocked, but once again silence was his only answer. So he opened the door, to see if maybe you were sleeping, but you weren't. Your bed was made, but something was off. Your room was clean but it felt like something was missing.

"Sugu, come here real quick." He urged, and Suguru footsteps were quickly heard. "Something isn't right."

They both stood at the entrance of your room, analysing everything, trying to find what was amiss, this odd feeling growing stronger and stronger. And then they spot it, a letter neatly placed on your desk, which read:

'The walls are thins here you know. Anyway don't worry I'll be out of your space soon. Sorry about the stuff I've left there, it's just for the time it takes for me to look for a new place and then I will give you back your much needed space. Thank you for letting me stay this long, and sorry for the trouble I've caused.'

The couple grew livid. Their worst fear became reality, and they didn't know how to fix it, but they knew they had to. And the sooner, the better.

part 3 is out, find it here!!

[thezombieprostitute]

The Arrangement

Summary: Jake's done a lot of things to keep his sister, and then his niece, safe from his parent's influence and manipulation. If he wants to keep them safe, he has to marry you.

Warnings: Bad parents, Disgusting comments of a sexual nature. Let me know if I missed any!

Chapter 1 -- Chapter 3

Series Masterlist

Your mother rushes into your room, followed by her many assistants. "It's today," she tells you. You give her a confused look and she rolls her eyes. "The marriage. It's happening today so you'd best dress up. My ladies will do your hair and makeup so you can look somewhat decent for your new husband."

"Yes, mother," is all you can say. Any attempts at pointing out you'd had no notice would be futile. And should you dare try to state a preference in your looks it would be immediately dismissed, paired with an insult. Best to just comply and do as she says. You make sure to follow the instructions of the hair and makeup team. They have to put up with your mother, too, so you always try to be polite to them.

As soon as they finish your mother shoves you in front of a mirror. "There," she coos. "Don't you look so lovely?"

You think you look like a clown. Like a lesser copy of her. "Yes, mother. Thank you."

"Would have gotten you a better dress but you refused to lose weight," she sighs. You bite your tongue. The doctor said you were healthy, that should be enough. But not for her.

"Now," she continues, "we will be meeting your father and brother at the Jensen estate. Apparently they've already go the paperwork and notary crap sorted out. Remember to walk gracefully, be polite, and for the love of everything, smile. I don't need my daughter's wedding photos to look like a funeral had happened!"

"Yes, mother."

Jake is really trying to keep calm. His father, father-in-law and brother-in-law are all drinking to the "marriage" happening this afternoon. Apparently they're just waiting for the bride and her mother to finish getting ready. Jake is scared she's going to be just like his own mother: power hungry, demanding, backstabbing, cold. Meeting the bride's family has not helped assuage his concerns. If anything, it only further drives his conviction that he did the right thing, breaking his sister's engagement. The only thing keeping Jake calm is Clay's presence. Having an ally makes a world of difference.

Montgomery, his father-in-law, is already three drinks in. "And as a wedding gift to the happy couple, your father and I have purchased a penthouse and a car that you won't be embarrassed to be seen in."

"Are you ashamed to be seen in an American classic?" Clay raises an eyebrow.

"It's a pinto," Travis, the brother-in-law, scoffs.

"Exactly," Clay calmly says. "An American classic."

Travis rolls his eyes before turning to Jake, "I'm kinda disappointed you agreed to this thing. I was kinda hoping for that niece of yours. You know, once she turns 18. The young ones are so much easier to train."

Jake's gripping his glass so tightly his knuckles are white. He has to behave, it's in the contract. And punching his brother-in-law would not be behaving.

Thankfully Clay has his back. "Young man, you've got problems. I'm specifically talking in the bedroom, but I'm sure you've got plenty of problems outside as well. If you need some lessons on how to please a woman, I'm happy to give you some pointers."

Travis glowers at him but Clay just smirks.

A knock at the door breaks the tension in the room. An attendant comes in, "the bride is here."

The first time you see Jake, your heart falls. He looks angry, mean. You didn't have much hope about being treated well to begin with but this just solidified it.

The first time Jake sees you, his own heart does the same. You're the spitting image of your mother. He mentally prepares himself for a life of being scolded for never being enough, a life of being cheated on, a life without love.

The documents are signed and notarized. The fake smiles are pasted on for the photos. Jake is given the keys to both the penthouse and the car. Clay promises to meet them there, driving his pinto.

You and Jake sit silently in the car. Both wanting to cry.

Chapter 1 -- Chapter 3

Series Masterlist

Tagging: @alicedopey; @ashdoctor; @delicatebarness;@ellethespaceunicorn; @icefrozendeadlyqueen; @ronearoundblindly

[dyns33]

The Scar

Another Miguel O Hara x female reader, with suspense !

Miguel had been acting weird for several weeks.

Ever since he had returned early from his seminar. In the middle of the night, he'd slipped into bed and kissed her like he hadn't seen her in forever.

It didn't bother Y/N. It had been a while since Miguel really touched her, according to him too tired from his work.

He had apologized that night, saying that he missed her, that he had asked to change his hours to spend more time with her, before repeating again and again that he loved her.

It was adorable, but it was also a bit weird.

There was something different about him, and Y/N couldn't figure out what.

The idea that he was cheating on her came quickly. Miguel was acting like a man who clearly had something to be ashamed of. Something bad.

Of course, all women would have been delighted to have their husbands look at them as he looked at her now. That their husbands come home early to cook dinner, give them a massage, listen to how their day went, kiss them passionately while whispering words of love in Spanish.

But it was really not in Miguel's habits.

Even at the start of their relationship, he had never really been romantic. Y/N remembered him telling her that it made sense for them to be together when they graduated, since they were both brilliant.

She liked to believe that he had loved her, at one point, then the routine had set in, and they had stayed together because it was easier.

All these gifts and kisses, it was really not normal.

It didn't take Y/N long to suspect that Miguel was having an affair with his colleague, Doctor Daniels. They had worked on a lot of projects, he talked about her often, and they went on business trips together.

She was beautiful, young and intelligent. Y/N didn't stand a chance against her.

Despite his promise to be here more often, there were always late nights when he came home. She imagined quickly that he was not always in the office, which she checked very quickly.

One evening, she woke up while he was getting dressed. He seemed embarrassed to see her in the hallway.

"Mi amor. Did I wake you up ? Forgive me, there was a problem in the office, a toxin leak, I have to go."

He kissed her so tenderly that Y/N wanted to cry watching him close the door.

A phone call to Alchemax was enough to know that there was no problem, and that nobody had called Miguel. Quickly checking, many of the dates and times were inconsistent with his schedule.

After pain and sorrow came anger. Knowing her husband well, Y/N knew there was no reason to stay and try to talk to him. So she took her things and went to stay in a hotel for the night.

She still wasn't asleep when someone knocked the next morning, and it was a surprise to see Miguel. Not only did he have no way of knowing where she was, she hadn't even thought he would be looking for her.

Visibly distraught, he took her in his arms as soon as she opened the door.

"Y/N ! Are you okay ? I came home and you were gone ! I was so scared, I thought… Why are you here ? Was there a problem Someone came to the house ? You…"

"There was no toxin leak."

"… What ?"

"There was no toxin leak in your office. Miguel, I know you're lying to me. I know you… I know you're cheating on me."

"What ?" he repeated again, looking as much annoyed as hurt. "No. Never ! I would never cheat on you, I love you ! I only love you."

"Please… I'm not stupid. You tell me you're going to work, and your office tells me you're not there. So where are you, uh ? What are you doing ? It's Why you've been so nice lately, so I don't get suspicious ? Because you're remorseful ? Because you're…"

"I'm Spiderman."

Y/N had heard of Spiderman, like everyone in Nueva York. A hero who could walk on the ceiling, and who fought crime.

Her first reaction was to laugh, then Miguel squirted a web from his handle that stuck a lamp to the wall and she agreed to listen.

He promised her that he had never cheated on her. He loved her more than anything, he would die for her, and he would never hurt her. The nights he was out and not working, he was saving lives. He hadn't told her, because he didn't want to worry her, or for her to take him for a monster.

"Okay, it's a bit special that you can pull stuff out of your arms and swing from building to building, but it's nothing monstrous."

"Actually… My DNA was altered on multiple levels, resulting in multiple physical changes."

"Is that why you look taller and more muscular ?"

"No. Yes ! I mean, a bit, but I'm not talking about that. It's… My teeth. My eyes, my hands, my legs…"

"I don't see anything weird with your eyes or your hands."

Since the beginning of their conversation, Miguel seemed really uncomfortable, but this moment was really the most complicated for him. His eyes were filled with fear as they turned red, he showed Y/N his sharp canines, and his fingernails turned into claws.

"…Wow. You look like a big cat."

"Amor, I don't look like a big cat." mumbled Miguel, blushing, lunging at her to tickle her when she tried to scratch his ear.

It could have ended there. Y/N would give everything for things to end there, because it was a very good explanation, Miguel loved her, he had promised her that there would be no more lies, and everything was fine.

A party organized by Alchemax and several glasses of champagne changed that, when Doctor Daniels approached with a strange smile, while Miguel had gone to the toilet.

"You and your husband look very happy."

"We are, thank you."

"Yeah. He didn't say that. We were happy too, you know ? The best years of my life. A real beast in bed, caliente. Then one day, nothing. He dumped me like trash. I guess he's found someone better. I thought it was nice to let you know."

"Mi amor ?"

Miguel watched her run away, not glancing at Doctor Daniels. He followed her easily, catching up with her in an alley and hugging her to calm her down, leaving her to hit him sobbing and screaming.

He hadn't heard what Doctor Daniels had said to put her in such a state, and when she repeated it to him, he seemed to go mad with rage. Because his honor was touched, but also because he couldn't bear to see Y/N cry.

"I'm going to kill her ! I've never had an affair with this woman, ever ! She's lying, she's crazy !"

"Don't lie to me." Y/N cried, still clinging to him.

"I swear to you, mi amor. Never. Not with her, not with anyone else."

In the following days, there were several elements that indicated that Miguel was telling the truth. First, there was no message exchanged between him and Doctor Daniels, despite the incessant assertions of the latter, who did not understand why she could not find them. No photo or video of them either.

At the office, no one thought they were more than co-workers who got along well. Miguel O Hara had the reputation of being a serious man, a little angry, selfish and focusing mainly on his research.

The only moment captured by Alchemax's surveillance cameras was when Doctor Daniels approached Miguel to ask him why they were no longer together, and if there was any chance they could see each other again.

Miguel remained cold, distant, politely asking her to leave him alone, repeating to her that there had never been anything between them, and that there never would be anything, because he only loved his wife.

This made Doctor Daniels laugh, who touched his arm, before trying to kiss him.

Jumping up from his chair, Miguel looked at her in disgust, forbidding her to approach him.

The incident trickled down to the bosses, which brought all the previous research and proved that Dr. Daniels had a little problem with her obsession with her colleague, who was not at all interested. She was fired.

This did not please her at all, and since she could not get her lover back, and had lost her job, Doctor Daniels insisted on destroying the married couple.

She called Y/N, texted her, followed her to work and home, telling her over and over that she'd shared Miguel's bed for years.

Maybe he never really liked her, because this guy was obviously not able to love anyone but himself, and he was too afraid for his reputation to admit it, but it was the truth.

"I can prove it !" cried Dr. Daniels hysterically, banging on Y/N's car window. "I know what he likes to eat ! I've driven his car before ! He told me about his brother."

"That's not evidence. Please leave me." Y/N begged her as she tried to start.

"He's got a scar on his back ! How do I know that, huh ? Miguel hates bathing, he doesn't undress in public, it's tiny because it was just a little fall from a horse when he was a kid. How do I know that ?!"

Y/N felt her heart race, as she tried to breathe normally, because indeed, Miguel had a scar, and hardly anyone knew about it. It was in the middle of his back, you could feel it by running your hand over his skin.

She then thought of two things.

Dr. Daniels wasn't lying.

And since his early return from his seminar and his change in behavior, she had passed her hand several times on her husband's back, without feeling this tiny scar.

In the middle of Miguel's back, there was nothing. Nothing at all.

Repeating this to herself, Y/N invited Dr. Daniels to come with her to the house, where Miguel was cooking dinner.

He was surprised to see them, and even more surprised when she calmly asked him to take off his shirt and show his back, while Daniels was screaming hysterically, ordering him to show them his scar and then confess.

He didn't look at the doctor once, his eyes fixed on Y/N, who was only looking at him as well. In his eyes, she could see that he understood why, why Daniels was asking this, but more importantly why Y/N was asking this. He knew that she knew.

Without saying anything, he obeyed and turned around. Dr. Daniels then stopped screaming, freezing.

The back was perfect, tall, muscular. In addition to the noticeable lack of a scar, Y/N noted that he was much taller and more muscular than before, before all of this.

"Well…" Miguel muttered as he got dressed. "Happy ? Excuse me, but I'm only showing the rest to my wife. If you could leave us now."

"I… I don't understand. You had a scar."

"I never had a scar. I never had a relationship with you."

"It's not… You… I think I need to sleep. Excuse me." stammered Doctor Daniels before quickly leaving, leaving them alone.

They stayed like that for a long time, face to face in the kitchen, neither moving nor speaking. Then Miguel sighed, visibly tired and sorry.

He hadn't lied. Not even once. He had simply omitted to say that he wasn't really Miguel, or at least not her Miguel, and that he wasn't the Spiderman of this universe, but of another.

He had seen an opportunity to be happy, after losing his Y/N, and now that her Miguel was gone. Her horrible Miguel, as he called him, who didn't see how lucky he was, who had never known how to treat her right, and who didn't deserve her.

"But I know." he whispered as he approached, shyly taking her hand. "I know I'm lucky to be with you. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, the only one. I can't live without you. I thought… Maybe you'd be happier without him, that it would be a relief to hear of his passing. But I also thought I could give you all the things he should have given you. I can leave if you want. I love you."

For several weeks, Y/N had been very happy, showered with love and kisses. She had been afraid of being cheated on, but that was no longer the case, not with this Miguel, who loved her.

So she forgot that there had always been a small scar on her husband's back, and she kissed him, telling him that she loved him too.

[lazyalani]

| Itoshi Sae × [GN!Reader]

| those ocean eyes

| angst, sae's point of view, short, hurt/no comfort, no happy ending

| Summary: Sae sits down and tries to remember why, how, and where the so called ending began.

| Main Masterlist

| Blue Lock Masterlist

burning cities and napalm skies

It happened in the heat of the moment really. It wasn't supposed to go that far. Despite what other people may think, you and Sae don't really argue hard because you know when to stop.

But where did it go wrong?

Maybe it was your fault, maybe it was his fault. Or maybe it was both of your faults, but it doesn't matter. What matters is that he's currently drowning in his own sorrows because he couldn't control his emotions again. Just like that one snowy night with Rin— He sucks in a breath. No. He wasn't going to go back that far.

His mind is in shambles. Would he go as far as to chase you even if half a week has already passed? He probably would, he thinks. If only he had the courage to do exactly that.

But he doesn't.

So let him drown himself into self-blame and doubt.

fifteen flares inside those ocean eyes

He couldn't. He knows he can't face you. He doesn't have the courage to face you when he every second in his mind he only sees your tear drowned face. Your helpless eyes begging him to take back the things he said, begging him to fix it, to tell you you both will be fine.

But he's Itoshi Sae.

And Itoshi Sae is a stubborn, calm yet egoistic, prideful man who when he snaps, it's all over.

He didn't know where or how it started. All he knew was that this one certain comment of yours triggered his pent up stress over dumb fucks in practice and annoying managers and exhaustion and he just— snapped. He couldn't stop himself nor could he even realize what he was saying.

He never even thought of his words. His mind was blank, he could barely remember anythi—

"—and these worthless plans and trinkets you give and talk to me. What thing of value do you even do at this point?"

no fair

Your head shooked as your hands trembled, your lips were shaking. Your eyes filled with tears and practically begging him to stop talking but he couldn't think.

"These demands you make to me, what makes you think they even matter to me? What makes you think I even care?"

Sae clenches his teeth and clutches his head. It hurts, his head hurts.... and somewhere in his chest.

He refuses to acknowledge the memory. Make it stop. Stop playing that hing in his head. Stop making him see things. Stop making it seem like you left him—

And then it clicks.

It was like every cog in his head has stopped and finished process.

That night. That arguement. The last time he saw you. The ring— where was the ring?

He lifted his head in a hurry and looked around the empty room. It had somehow seemed emptier.

He sees the familiar ring on a table. It was the ring he gave to you as a promise. A promise of forever.

But why was it here again?

"—you care about these useless things instead of doing things that actually make sense. How about you start doing useful things for a change? So you won't be ashamed of showing that ring just to add that you do nothing but cling to me with those useless plans."

You froze as he mentioned your ring. You instantly touched the ring hanging on the chain around your neck.

"S-sae, not the ring, p-please—"

"I'm surprised you still even have the courage to wear that thing."

You shooked your head desperately.

This was the only thing hanging your relationship on the single, thin thread right now.

"Are you even worth giving that ring?"

you really know how to make me cry

His knees almost stumbled and he clutched the ring and his head in pain.

He sits on the bed for support as your helpless face strikes through his heart again.

when you gimme those ocean eyes

He remembers it all.

His cold, thoughtless words.

His mindless, heartless eyes.

The dead, scaryly calm look on his face and words.

And the frightened, hurt look on yours.

i'm scared

He sighs and chuckles lifelessly.

He only ever knows to destroy the most precious things in his life, huh?

But among all his treasures, you were the one who had made him shatter with you.

Itoshi Sae always got everything he wanted. He had always maintained and sustained everything he's got because of his natural talent and potential. His brains and looks.

Itoshi Sae has never lost anything. He has never fallen from his glory.

But hah, how could he have the courage to even say that now?

i've never fallen from quite this high

[monimccoythings]

Logan (X-Men Evolution) x Bartender!Reader

So I guess my writer's block is over. I suddenly remembered that X-Men Evolution was a series from my childhood that I truly loved and hoped they would make more seasons, I'm rewatching it because of how good it is. Ah, good memories.

This contains slight NSFW themes and mention of abuse.

You can't stop looking at him, the handsome man on the counter. It was impossible to not notice him. Built like a lumberjack, with a rugged face and a five o'clock shadow, he was the kind of though guy you didn't want to mess up with, but somehow you found it attractive.

He always came at night, on time like a clock, not a second sooner or later.

He is a regular, but not much of a talker. That only awaked your curiosity, but you don't want to push him too far, the possibility of driving him away scares you.

He always asks for the same thing, a glass of whiskey. By the seventh time, you have it ready for him. He acknowledges you with a slight nod of his head, but never says anything else.

He is a smoker, not only you can smell it on him but you have caught him more than once lighting himself one.

He is the main reason you close so late, honestly. You just can't get enough of him.

You should be ashamed of yourself. After everything you went through with your ex-husband, after all the pain he caused you, now you were pining after a man who seemed nothing but trouble. When would you learn.

Yet, you feel a magnetic pull towards him. When you work, be it cleaning glasses, serving drinks, or just calmly enduring the tirades of some drunken idiot, you can almost feel his eyes glued to you, following your every moment. Like a predator, analysing his prey.

It took something tragic for you two to finally get close.

You had been so careful, so meticulous with your new life, that you had felt confident about your safety, too confident to take some preventive measures. Idiot.

It all started when a letter arrived in the mail, nothing unusual, maybe it was some bill. But you froze when you recognised the handwriting. No. It couldn't be. It had to be a mistake, he couldn't have found you so easily.

You carefully looked through the window, panicking. You nearly fell back on your butt when you thought you saw him, hidden in one of the alleways.

Your daily routine was disrupted, everytime you turned around you feared you would find him, staring at you with that diabolical smile plastered on his face. You seriously considered calling in sick to work, but you really needed the money and hopefully he wouldn't try anything in a place full of people.

As you worked, your hands trembled, your eyes darting nervously to each patron that entered the bar, silently praying you didn't recognise anyone else but your mysterious lone wolf.

You could sense his keen eyes on you. Observing and learning. You forced yourself to calm down and put on a brave smile, the last thing you wanted was to cause a conmotion over nothing.

The night seemed to pass quietly, no more problems than the occasional drunkard. Somehow this felt like one of the longest and most exhausting shifts of your life, each hour felt like another ball to your chain.

Closing time arrived, and there wasn't anyone left but you and your cleaning duties. For safety reasons, you locked the entrance and the backdoor, and settled a new time record for cleaning. You just wanted to go to the safety of your home.

Fate had other plans for you.

You felt a chill run down your spine as soon as you locked the backdoor when you heard his voice. He was there, waiting you to get out, perfectly knowing where this exit was. A knowledge that could only be acquired if he had been watching you for the last days.

Fear paralized you, The alley only had a way out and he was locking your only exit. Unlocking the door again would take too long, by the time you were able to get in, he would have already caught you.

You knew he was enjoying it, the sadistic bastard. This, among many other things, was the reason you had run away from your house, left your friends and family behind, swapped jobs, changed your address, your phone number, your entire identity. But it had been all for nothing, because he had managed to find you again.

Before you even knew it, he had forcefully grabbed you and thrown you against the wall. It had been so long since you had felt a mind numbing pain like this, you had nearly forgotten it. Your head was spinning, but you still could manage to make out the mocking insults and feigned concern in his voice. He was always good at playing the victim. It was you the one to blame, who made him act like this.

Tears burned in the corner of your eyes. This was it, if he didn't kill you there, he would drag you back into that miserable hole you used to call home and make you wish he had killed you right then and there.

The sudden bright light nearly blinded you and for a second you believed you had speedrunned into heaven. But the roaring motorbike and the heavy footsteps that followed suggested otherwise.

There he was, your mysterious stranger, in all his dark and broody glory. Standing like a man who had been in way too many fights and had won all of them.

You hear your ex shouting at him to fuck off, threatening him with violence. But he just stood there, impassively. He almost looked uncaring, but you knew better. You could see the way his jaw tensed, his fists clenched and the veins in his neck swelled. He was an animal ready to pounce, just waiting for the right moment.

And the right moment came, because is your ex husband was anything it was an arrogant asshole who as soon as he could tried to throw a punch that never landed.

It ended as fast as it had started. You could tell, by the way your protector's eyes were glowing he was left craving for more but was doing a tremendous effort restraining himself.

You barely noticed him picking you up bridal style and sitting you with him on the bike, barely heard him asking for your address and you giving it to him so freely, not even bothering to spare a glance at the unconscious body of the man that had made the last four years of your life a living hell.

The ride back home was made in complete silence. You knew he preferred it that way, and honestly, so did you. But the second you set foot on your apartment block, the spell was broken and replaced with something else.

You swear you didn't know what came over you, but thank God you did. Because before you noticed, both of you were locked in a passionate embrace.

Your tongue explored his mouth, hungry for more. You marvelled at the sharpness of his canines and wondered what he could do to you with them.

After a few seconds he pulled away, a silent question in his eyes, he was asking for permission, making sure you wouldn't regret it. You nodded so hard you thought your head would fall off.

The beast was unleashed, he lifted you with inhuman strength and while you barely managed to snake your legs around his waist, he attacked a sensitive spot in your neck with those sharp fangs that drove you crazy.

You never thought a man would make you feel this way. This primal feeling, this glorious beast of a man was showing you things about yourself that you never thought you'd love.

Because what you did in your bedroom was more than fucking, it paled in comparison. It would leave you sore in the morning and maybe this time you'd really have to call in sick, but as long as you awoke in the arms of your savior everything would be alright.

As you drifted to sleep, you heard him whisper his name in a low rumble that made your body shake. You hummed. Logan, huh? It kinda fitted him.

[apomaro-mellow]

Matchmaking Harringtons 4

Eddie was gone for Steve. Absolutely gone for him. Steve had come by, his gleaming car sitting right outside Eddie's trailer.

"I was thinking about you", was all he said.

And honestly, how could Eddie not kiss him? After pulling him inside and shutting the door (with Steve's own body) he kissed him with a fervor unmatched by anyone else Steve had dated before. Eddie's passion was the kind Steve had dreamed of this exact thing when he realized he was into men. He loved being pushed against things. He loved the feel of Eddie pinning him down.

He loved now, how Eddie was grabbing him by the thighs and hoisting him up. Steve steadied himself by wrapping his legs around his waist and arms around his neck. He wasn't even sure where Eddie was taking him but he'd go anywhere in this man's arms.

Steve felt himself being set on a hard surface and knew he was on the kitchen counter. But whatever else was going on melted away as Eddie nibbled on his lips. Steve's hands got lost in his hair and he dove in deep to suck on his tongue. Eddie let out the sweetest whimper and pawed at Steve legs.

Every sound he wrung out of Eddie made him feel so powerful. Like he could ask him to commit murder and Eddie would only say 'right away'.

This man was a dream come true. Except for when he was pulling away.

"We gotta-we gotta stop, Stevie."

"Why?", Steve asked, not even ashamed of how whiny his voice came out. This wasn't the first time Eddie had done this. Just when things were getting to the good part, Eddie put a pause on things.

"Because I'm about to lose control."

Steve couldn't help but pout. He removed his hands from those dark curls and instead gripped Eddie's shirt. "What if I want you to lose control? What are you afraid of?"

Steve expected any number of responses. Afraid of falling too deep, of scaring him away, of being too much, of what society might think. But instead, after a long pause, Eddie said this:

"Your parents."

Well that was one way to lose a boner.

"My...my what?"

"Your mom. And your dad."

"What do they have to do with this?"

"They um-", Eddie's mouth snapped shut as he realized Steve might not even know the smallest of involvements that his parents had in all this.

"They what?"

"They're the ones who gave out your house's number so I could call you. Remember when we first met at my job?"

"Yeah?", Steve rose a brow.

"Before I rang you up, your dad uh, well he uh, vouched for you."

"I can't believe this!", Steve got off the counter. "My dad told you to talk to me?"

Eddie nodded and now Steve was running through that first interaction in his mind. He had felt terribly awkward as Eddie had laid on the thick flirtation. He'd thought Eddie had just been making fun of him somehow. So he'd been shocked to receive his call. Steve hadn't even questioned how he'd gotten the number.

"Did they tell you to ask me out too? Did they...", Steve's brow furrowed as he thought about his boyfriend and parents having secret conversations. "Did they tell you to not have sex with me?"

"They didn't tell me to ask you out", Eddie said holding his hands up. "They only told me that if I did, you'd probably say yes. And I have NOT discussed anything sexual with them, Jesus Christ Almighty."

Steve started to pace around the living room. Because that meant Eddie was still talking to them about some things.

"Is that why you took me out to Le Petit's? Because they told you to?"

Eddie let out a groan. "That was the worst. I should've never listened to them that time." He sat on the couch and put his head in his hands.

Steve sat next to him. "Eds. Tell me everything."

----------------------------------

Jonas sat across from his wife in a cafe. Both of them had some coffee. They'd come to terms with the fact that they had been giving Eddie conflicting advice.

"I thought the whole point of this was to get Steve on the straight and narrow." Jonas cleared his throat. "So to speak."

"Yes", Diane agreed. "But it seems we're on different pages of what that means. Do you not like Eddie?"

"I like him. He's just not, well he doesn't look ready to settle down, is all."

"Steve is nineteen. He shouldn't be settling down."

"But he should be getting ready to."

"Jonas, you and I didn't get married until we were in our twenties."

"After dating in high school", Jonas reminded her.

"This is Steve's first boyfriend", Diane whispered the last word.

"But not his first relationship. I like Eddie, I think he can do right by Steve. But-"

"But his image isn't clean enough? Goodness, you sound just like my father. Remember when he didn't want me dating some dirty greaser?"

"I cleaned up my image for you."

"You still use more hair products than my father ever did, still read motorcycle magazines, and I highly doubt he would have ever entertained the notion of me romancing a woman."

"So am I like your father or not?", Jonas asked.

"We need to let Steve find his own way. He already looks more serious with Eddie than any of those girls he dated. Maybe they will get married. Maybe they won't."

Jonas let out a sigh. Even he had to admit Steve looked happier. Maybe it was just a nice summer romance, maybe it'd be a forever thing. But they had to let Steve and Eddie figure it out.

"Hm, not that I think of it, I'm not even sure what a gay wedding would look like. Would they both wear tuxes?"

"Well, I'm sure they'd-", Diane paused as she thought about it. "You know, I don't know. But if anyone should wear a dress, it's Steve. He's got the figure for it."

"Hold the phone, the gays can't even get married", Jonas said like a great epiphany.

Diane's eyes got wide as she realized it too. In the chaos of finding their son a boyfriend and trying to set them up properly, they had forgotten the true politics of their situation at large.

"Jonas, can't you speak to someone?"

"The highest person I know is Don at the bank. What about you? Who's that gal who's always in the salon with you?"

"Mary Ellen, that's right! She's on the city council. How hard do you think it would be to get a bill started?"

Jonas swirled his cup around. "I'm sure it can't be too hard. Lobbying's going to put a dent in our savings though."

"Well, Steve's not going off to college yet, his fund can help foot that bill", Diane said with a wave of her hand. "Eddie can consider it his dowry."

"I thought we weren't rushing them into marriage?", Jonas grinned.

"No.... but maybe we should invite Eddie to dinner in the meantime."

Later on, when the two of them returned home, their son's car was the only one in the driveway, yet they could tell he wasn't alone the moment they entered the house.

"Steve! We're home!", Diane called out. She shared a knowing look with her husband when they heard a shuffling upstairs and what sounded like someone falling.

Jonas was the one who went up the stairs and opened the door to Steve's room.

Steve was lying innocently on his bed, reading a sports magazine. "Dad, you of all people should know that you can't walk into a dude's room without knocking."

"Oh I know plenty", Jonas said. "Would Eddie like to stay for dinner? We're having salmon."

Eddie stuck a thumbs up from under the bed. "Sure thing, Mr. H."

Part 6

Tag Team

@tartarusknight @swimmingbirdrunningrock @estrellami-1 @potato-of-the-lord @dragonmama76 @m-owo-n @sticknpokelightningbolt @somegirlsomewhere @tinyplanet95 @samsoble @runniem @hallucinatedjosten @nburkhardt @littlewildflowerkitten @noctxrn-e @subversivecynic @larawrmonster @suikatto @platinum-sunset @imacowboy3 @tiny-enthusiast @netflixisacopingstrategymom @honorarybrit81 @manda-panda-monium @krazyperson @adaed5 @lololol-1234 @mrsjellymunson

[inazumaclown]

idk if i already said it here but i think level-5 is a monument for character design. their characters are memorable in any games or series they produce, even when they're a little too much, their designs have a peculiar, lovable charm, i really really like them.

anyway here's me rating the GO designs of the OG characters :

endou is the fucking favorite. you can tell the studio really did their best for him. even without watching GO, you can tell he's still his old passionate self but in a cool and matured way. you can tell he's coaching kids and you can tell the kids love him and he loves them in return. 10/10.

kidou is great. of course he would be wearing a suit to coach middle schoolers, this is what being kidou is about !

i do think the new goggles are a little goofy, but haruna gave them to him, so of course he would wear them without hesitation. you can tell he's still awfully serious, but also no longer ashamed to monologue about his (occasionally stupid) special interest of the week if asked.

i would have advocated for longer dreads rather than, idk sorta untangled dreads ? but you know what, this is great. 9/10

i'm in love with kazemaru. always has been. his hair is perfect.

i just don't get why he got the coraline's yellow raincoat drip. it tells me nothing about him. i can't guess if he is an athlete, a hairdresser, a mangaka, a drag queen, a military sergeant, a carpenter or a sugarbaby. i'm left alone with my headcannons, and no clue how to prove they make sense. 5/10

i love that fubuki shirou, canonically the prettiest boy in the world, decided by himself to dress like sheldon cooper.

i like that when he put his coat on, he looks like a hobo. he didn't even had to try the hot snowboarder style, he already knew he'll be a good-looking hobo. i like that for him. choose for yourself king, you don't need anything. 8/10

my man looks so good in this. he doesn't realize he looks like the lovechild of yakuza and a mafioso. he doesn't realize why the grandmas are scared of him at the supermarket, but it's okay. i know he's well paid, he's still hardworking and professional, he's stable in all aspects, and he smells like a very masculine, expensive perfume. 11/10

of course, fubuki and him are happy and in love, and nobody gets how it could have happened when they walk side by side.

ah, fudou. some would say his new style is a glowdown, but i almost disagree.

true, he doesn't look punk and alt anymore, but i can tell that now, he's a true leftist. he looks like he doesn't have a job. he always smells like *spicy* cigarettes. everybody in his neighborhood knows and likes him. he owns almost nothing, yet everybody owes him something. he's an anarchist but he still votes, because he wants to do his part for a more peaceful future. he does throw rocks at cops during social movements. 8/10

kidou and him are also happy and in love. they fight all the time for petty things, but it's their way to say 'i love you'.

kabeyama almost didn't change, and that's good. he looks nice and polite and like a wonderful freehugger. i trust him. i could give him my firstborn, i know the kid would be well-fed and in bed at a reasonable hour. 10/10

i don't remember why kogure was in GO. it had to do with haruna i think, which is good, i like haruna. whatever he's just taller. 4/10

sakuma looks nice. the longer hair looks good. he would look better if genda was with him though. 6/10

tobitaka. my boy. he found his place. giving him the rai rai ken was such a good idea. it's not about the looks for him. it's about happiness, and he looks happier now. 10/10

tsunami ! the last member of the B4. he didn't change that much, which saddens me a little, but maybe it was because his design was always good. 7/10

toramaru. same boy but taller. they made an effort with his hair, i'll give them that. he looks like a lost management firm intern. i hope he finds the printer next to the coffee machine. i also don't remember what he does in the series. 5/10

glasses suit hiroto. he looks serious enough to do a serious job well, and still weird enough to say some deranged stoner shit without anyone asking after one (1) sip of unalcoholic beer. good for him. 7/10

midorikawa lost a bit of his theater kid charm, but i guess this is what happens when you work in foster care. he looks like a great mom though. 6/10

i'm disappointed. aphrodi deserves better than a boring ass suit. i mean come on, that man doesn't NEED to look professional, he is literally named after the goddess of beauty, he deserved better than that.

the side ponytail looks good. so sad for the little bleaching accident. he should cut that. 4/10

i can't clown megane. i look like that man. i wish him well. 7/10

WELL THAT'S THE END, I HOPE I DIDN'T FORGOT ANYBODY :D

(gouenji will have his own post.)

[icyowl]

Phantom Limb Pain

Pairing: Vash the Stampede x reader

Synopsis: Self-explanatory. Helping Vash deal with phantom limb pain. 1k

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

In many ways Vash was both the luckiest and unluckiest person alive. He was lucky because, well, he was still alive, firstly, but also because he was (mostly) healthy, fed, sheltered from the blistering wind, with you, and nestled away in the back of a tavern largely out of sight of the rest of the patrons. He was, however, unlucky in that he didn't have a place to stay for the night, hadn't had one in about two weeks, couldn't convince you to stay away from him to stay safe, and his own body had begun to betray him. . . again.

“Vash?” You said to lift his head from where it rested on the tabletop. His posture looked very different from what it was when you'd left to get drinks. Hunched, visibly taught even with his coat, flesh-hand discretely fisted under the shadow of the table. He didn't bother to move even when he knew you were there.

“Is it hurting again?” You asked. He nodded as much as he could. When it truly drove him mad, he became eerily silent. You couldn't have this — Vash immobilized to the point of turning mute, afraid to show you and resigning to a silent suffering. “What kind of hurting?” You tried.

Quiet, breathless, he finally replied: “Like someone's got it in a grinder.”

His tone just about broke you. Out of all the outlaws, vagabonds, and backstabbers, he deserved this the least. “Tell me how I can help.”

At last he looked up. There was a little more water in his eyes than normal; and if a man of much suffering had been pushed this far? It had to be bad. Vash's eyes were especially round with sorrow — perhaps as much to have to ask you for help as to endure the pain — and his voice was almost consumed by the raucous of the tavern. “Rub the other one? The way you like to do it?”

You pulled your stool right in front of his until your knees were overlapping. His glasses slipped off easily when you pulled them from his ears and put them on the table.

“What if people see?”

“They're too drunk to talk, Vash, don't worry about them seeing us.”

He was always scared to attract unwanted attention. Any person could be the wrong person; they could hurt you, cast both of you out into the desert, bristling with nighttime cold, or hail a swat of police to chase you for days. Vash had just gotten you out of the elements and into this tavern even if for just a few hours.

You grabbed his human hand wordlessly and stretched it out. One of your hands held onto his wrist while the other began to squeeze and massage the bicep and tricep. Anything to distract from the pain. “This doesn't usually happen unless you're stressed. What's up?”

“I'm alright, I—”

“Vash.” You cut off with a sudden, grating edge to your voice, still moving down his bicep with rhythmic pulls. “We've talked about this. Don't make me force you to do your affirmations in the back of a bar.” He knows you mean it, remembers the time you had him do it in a bathroom through his tears, another time after waking up with a breathless jolt in the deep of the night, again when he'd barely managed to get you out of a hostage situation with your life.

“Seriously, it—”

“Say 'it's nothing' and I won't let you cuddle me for a week.”

A whole week? Vash knew you were serious, too. Open up, or. . . for a week? Bare his problems to you, allow himself a moment of empathy, share just one of the demons usually hidden behind his large glasses. . . or no cuddles. Why did you have to be so adamant?

His head dipped, a bit ashamed, but still he let those sinful hands of yours hit every knot in his forearm. “I've been worrying over this sleeping situation. It's not good for you — so cold every night.”

The heartfelt statement made your eyes sting. To be so kind as to incur physical ramifications at the pain of others — he really was something beyond the average human. His kindness, above all his struggles, had become his greatest curse.

Whether to hide or to be close to you, his head plopped down unceremoniously onto your shoulder, the disheveled mop of hair atop his head vaguely tickling your neck and cheek. Your fingers moved carefully to the back of his neck. There was a fine line before his boundaries were crossed; if you overstepped, he'd completely clam up. It was hard to get him to do this in the privacy of a tent in the middle of the dunes, let alone in a bar full of inebriated patrons. Thankfully Vash didn't shy away when you touched the taught muscles and continued up into the soft hair of his undercut. Not even when you pushed into the pressure points there did he pull away.

Oh no. If anything, your stampede opened himself even more. A subtle puff of air, a faint groan, a slouching of his shoulders, and suddenly it felt like he was trying to get under your very skin.

“I can't stop you from worrying,” you said, “no one can. I can't make you care about yourself, eat enough, or stop you from trying to save everyone. Only you can do that, Vash. What I can do is say this isn't good for you. How can you expect to do the things you want when you won't take care of yourself? If the phantom pains are getting this bad. . .”

He knew exactly what you were doing. Sometimes he hated your reverse psychology, but it was working.

You continued: “I want to help you in whatever way I can, so you can keep doing all these crazy, stupid, amazing things. So trust me. Trust me to be your stampede.”

A hefty pause broke when he burrowed his forehead deeper into your shoulder. “I hate when you're like this.”

You laughed. “I know you do, now, how is it?”

“. . . better.”

You pulled his head off your shoulder and, before your thoughts got the better of you, caressed his jaw in your palms and pressed a quick kiss to the tip of his nose. Vash seemed to glitch out for only a second or two this time. His prosthetic hand, previously too uncomfortable to move, lifted to rest on your thigh.

[viktoriaashleyyx]

My thoughts during different points in ACOTAR.

(It been like 2 months since I read it so these aren't direct quotes but I remember my reactions)

*Feyre contemplating killing the wolf. I remember her thinking "it could be a fae, I'm pretty sure it's a fae but realistically it's probably just a wolf and I am an emaciated teenager so I better use the element of surprise to kill it before it kills me."

Fair. Fair judgment. Can't argue with that tbh I do the same with yellow jackets (I'm surprised I don't see this take that often)

Lucien being mad at her for killing what she has now confirmed was Andres

Bro, she was a starving human and Tamlin did a good job at making him look like a wolf. Also, isn't that what you wanted her to do? Be mad at Amarantha, not some 19 yr old. (First and last time I disagreed with Lucy baby). At least Andres didn't die in vain like the others did now you have a shot.

"You can tell us your name, you can eat the food and we are not affected by iron. We can lie. We are affected by ash though."

Elves. You're elves. Why write Faerie if you're just gonna shit on everything that makes a Faerie, a Faerie?

Explaining the masks nonsense:

Bro you ever seen a man in a hat? Covering parts of a man's face makes them hotter. That's why they can grow beards

Hybern comes up and I am listening to the Audio books so sjm can't hide behind the spelling change.

Okay so we are just taking a shit on the Irish with this shit huh? (Hibernia is the original Latin name for Ireland)

"Dance Feyre"

Awwwe 😍

Tamlin writing her limericks and and then was super chill about her not knowing how to read even though she was pretty confrontational about it. He kept his cool, and reassured her and tried to teach her a little bit.

Awwwwwwwe 😍 they're getting along. Not mad at anyone here tbh. I can see why feyre would be ashamed and scared, but tam handled it well.

Rhysand shows up at the manor and Lucien stands in front of Feyre to shield her

Ugh go away RhySAnd you asshat. But also: Damn Lucy 😍.

RhySAnd makes Tamlin and Lucien beg to not tell Amarantha

I know this is a power play and I am supposed to think RhySAnd is the hot one, but.. to humble yourselves like that. To do anything in your power to protect her even if it's embarrassing. Damn. Tamtam and Lucy you have my heart.

Tamlin sending her away

Say it. Say it. Say it. Please feyre say you love him.

RhySAnd twisting her broken arm to get her to agree to a deal.

(By this point I had spoiled it for myself and knew that RhySAnd was the fan favorite) Bro what the fuck did he do to make up for this?

RhySAnd having her painted and drugging her to dance for him until she vomited.

Babygirl I am glad no penetration happened but like WHAT THE FUCK DID HE DO TO MAKE UP FOR THIS??

Feyre contemplating "he's a fae and I am a human, I'm fighting to have maybe a few decades with him at best"

First off babygirl you haven't even been alive for 2 decades yet, calm down. Second, they're gonna turn her fae. Please don't "turn" her fae that's not how that works these aren't vampires.

Tamlin crawls to Feyre still bleeding, kills Amarantha when the other High Lords couldn't, and then holds her the way she had told him she wanted to be held when she dies.

Tam, baby, how did you fumble so hard? What tf do you do in the next book that makes people like RhySAnd more?? It makes me not want to keep reading but also want to keep reading cause what the fuck.

She dies and is revived by the high lords and turned fae.

They fucking turned her fae. This isn't how this works. Holly black did it better with the "hey I know you think you're a human but really you're a changeling." (Tithe, I haven't finished her other stuff yet idk what goes on with Jude)

[muzicgenerator]

pls could u do a tom kaulitz angst? like he’s arguing w reader and mentions something he knows the reader doesn’t like bringing up, and he has to make it up to her, then it can turn into fluff <3

yep here it is!!

hope u like it and sorry for late reply T_T

(BRO OHHH MY GOD THE ORIGINAL STORYLINE DIDNT SAVE 😭😭😭 so i just made a new one which is this one AGHHH SO MAD RN btw i didnt proof read the entire thing)

⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒

Atonement

✮

Pairing: Tom Kaulitz x Reader

Genre: a bit Angsty, Fluff

Warnings: None

Request Status: closed :(

✩°｡⋆⸜ 🎧✮ Last Night on Earth : Green Day

Playful bantering was one of the things you and Tom would do everyday in your relationship.

Sure, serious arguments would rise up which a simple kiss and genuine apology would quickly fix.

However those two won't do it right now.

"The hell do you mean I have trust issues?!"

"What?! It's true! Your ex cheated on you so you're scared to trust me; It's not like I'm gonna do what that guy did!"

Definitely, Tom shouldn't have brought your ex up who has no relation to this quarrel.

He knew how much of a prick he was to you and how he treated you; he even witnessed how devastated you were when you once came to him to seek comfort when you found out for the second time he had been cheating.

And he knew damn well you never wanna hear about the jerk ever again.

However, you did appreciate him admitting he wouldn't repeat the history you had with your past lover.

"The fuck, Tom? That bitch has no connection whatsoever about what we're fighting about right now.

And I saw the way you looked at her! It's like, if I didn't interrupt you both would've shared spits by then." enraged by what he said; you raised your voice to match his volume - which was unlike you since you're the composed one out of you two during serious arguments.

"Sorry but he kinda does! This issue you're having surely started with him. I remember the way you wasted your snot and tears on him and I dried it off.

And please stop being overdramatic, she's just a fan and I wanted to make sure she's happy. Not only with her; I mean with everyone of them!"

Tom tried hard to defend himself instead of admitting his wrongdoing.

"You are such an ass for bringing that shit up again when you know damn well your ass had issues too that I helped you get over with and all I've ever done was try my greatest to understand and care for you!

All I ever wanted was for you to stop looking at other people and look at me.. Am I asking for too much?" your voice whispered in offence and slightly croaked which made you resent yourself more.

Tom realized with wide eyes of what he had done,

"No, no of course not ____. No, look- I'm really sorry for what I said, I really am and-"

"Just shut the hell up, Tom. Save it, I don't wanna hear it right now." you harshly brushed past him to storm off to your apartment's bedroom in fear of hot tears falling down to your cheeks.

He sighed; ashamed in himself. Tom truly regrets letting those harsh and unnecessary words slip his blunt mouth. He knew he was better than this - definitely, he should control his mouth more and think about what he should say carefully during times like this.

The night spent alone in the bed you'd always share with Tom felt cruel.

Not for the reason he's not by your side; it's rather the fact that you're in bed without properly making up with him since you'd always forgive one another the same day.

A big part of you wanted to forgive him - believe that he truly didn't mean what he told you and only accidentally slipped because of the heat in the moment; that we all say things we don't mean when we're mad, and that he really wouldn't stab you on the back with a woman like your past lover did.

The smaller part of you scolded for being such an idiot; for believing a man would stay loyal - that you should call it off before he could do any further damage.

Honestly, you felt devastated just thinking about not being with him; so you eventually came into terms with yourself that the fire will settle down and you'll forgive him and he'll do better.

Don't know when it'll die down but it will. Hopefully soon.

Some relationships are worth fighting for, like you have with Tom.

Hence you will stay strong and prepare for many wars.

But tonight; you wanted and allowed yourself to fall asleep being upset and disappointed at Tom.

You'll let tomorrow do its thing.

✮✮✮

It was the next day and the back of your head was pounding alongside a stiff neck.

You sat up and glanced at the digital clock placed on your night table that read 11:37 AM.

After stretching your limbs out while reminiscing the night before; you decided it's time to wash your face and start making lunch for yourself.

When you turned the knob and pushed it open; you were greeted with the aroma of your favourite dish; one that was always served to you as a child when you still lived with your family - one that you shared its recipe and process with your lover.

"Tom?" you asked in disbelief. You were certain he had left since your ears picked up the sound of the front door being pushed open then close in the middle of the night.

Certainty assured your mind that you'd rather not see his face first thing in the morning after such a night. Boy, were you wrong.

Your lover turned his head quickly; unaware of your presence since he's so caught up finishing, as well as perfecting the dish.

"Oh- love, you're awake. I um.. made breakfast but you didn't get up and it's uh, it's almost time for lunch so I thought I'd make your favourite." he stumbled over his words; which is bizarre.

"The pancakes are on the table, you can eat them later as a snack."

You nodded your head with a tight lipped smile and mumbled a thanks before heading to the bathroom.

Once the door had shut; you quickly drowned your face with water to remove the image of Tom cooking without a shirt on.

It's not like it's the first time you've seen him like that; but the way you're reacting right now is how you feel when you catch him in these types of situations - preferably without the post-fight shit going.

After peeing, washing your hands, brushing your teeth washing and drying your face, and doing your skin care - you forced yourself to go back outside for you cannot stay in the bathroom forever.

When you opened and closed the baby blue painted door; your eyes wandered off to the table and drooled at the sight of the newly cooked meal.

Tom patted the seat beside him with a smile; gesturing you to sit beside him.

You had no choice but to join him for lunch; after all, you are starving.

Instead of giving in to his request, you sat in front of him.

Instead of painting a frown on his lips; he still kept his genuinely proud smile (from cooking such a delicious dish) and handed you your plate and utensils - to which you accepted.

"Let's eat?" Tom asked.

"I don't wanna eat without talking about last night." you said with a straight face.

The man in front of you softly breathed a sigh,

"You're right." he agreed with a nod

"I'll start by saying I'm really sorry, and I didn't mean what I said. I just want you to know I would never even dare to think about betraying you like that, and I was an ass for what I did." Tom seemed to look everywhere but your eyes.

He couldn't bring himself to look at your mesmerizing hues for he was certain his shredded heart would be turned into dust.

"I don't even know why I said those things, I- I know this sounds like bullshit but I swear I really don't mean those things and you're the only person who I have my eyes on.

Please give me another chance I- I'll be better now, promise!" he trailed off and fearfully continued;

"But y'know if uh.. if you don't and wanna call it o-"

"Shut up Tom we're not breaking up." you sighed

"I know you said those to defend what you did, and it slipped out because of the heat of the moment. We all say shit we don't mean when mad, I understand. But what I don't understand is why you'd caress her cheek and look into her eyes like that?" your eyes examined his facial expressions and only saw genuine regret on his face. You hoped he'd look at your eyes and tell you directly why.

Hence, before his ready mouth started to explain; you tell him, "Tom, look into my eyes, please."

You caught the way the ball of his throat bopped up and down; swallowing his saliva. His eyes slowly trailed up from the table to your chest, neck, chin, nose, then eyes.

"She said she'd been a fan since the very beginning of the band's debut. She loved all us a lot, especially me. I asked her if meeting us was a dream come true, she said yeah, and we talked a bit more. Then she asked me to touch her face because she really couldn't believe that it was all happening, which I did."

Tom would look away from the two windows of your soul for a second before meeting again.

He was replied with silence; which kind of scared him.

"____? Please say something."

"For God's sake Tom, why didn't you just start with that last night when I brought it up?"

Tom rapidly blinked once, twice, thrice, then for the fourth time. "... I must've forgot to bring it up because I was so caught up in the moment."

You laughed; a true one, "You mean too focused into bringing my ex up?"

He was speechless by how just a second ago you were dead ass serious, and now crying laughing at what you said.

"Sorry, I'm done laughing now." you giggled before continuing, "Fine, I'll forgive you if you tell me where you went last night."

"I went back to my apartment and did some thinking how to make it up to you and slept there. I went out really early to buy groceries so i can cook your favourite food here."

It was your turn to be speechless.

"...You seriously did that?" you asked with doubt in your voice.

"Yeah, I mean the proof is on the table." Tom chuckled.

You said nothing and finally dug into the 5 star looking meal, soon your lover did as well.

"Sooo, are we good?" Tom hopefully asked after sipping his water from the cylinder glass.

"I guess so." you blessed him with a small smile to which he returned with a big one.

Conversation flowed naturally between you as you ate the savoury food.

If Tom didn't make it as a famous guitarist, he'd definitely be a winner in Hell's Kitchen.

After Tom cleaned put the dishes to the sink; you insisted to wash it since he cooked. He declined numerous times but it wasn't going anywhere since you're more stubborn than him.

"All right, fine. Only if you let me hug you from behind." Tom made a deal.

"Pshh, why're you asking as if you don't do that whenever I do shit in the kitchen?"

Tom rolled his eyes with a smirk drawn on his lips as a reply and proceeded to snake his large hands to your waist; then pressing his chest to your back and resting his chin on the crown of your head.

Nothing could be heard other than the clanking of pans, plates, and utensils, along with the flow of the running water from the faucet.

The comfortable verbal silence and physical contact was very much needed after a fight.

After drying your hands with a cloth; you walked towards the couch and sat with your boyfriend still embracing you from behind.

"What do you wanna watch?" you turned your head to the side to look up at his face.

"Whatever you want, I'm fine with anything." Tom looked down to your eyes, then lips.

Slowly, he leaned his fave closer to yours so he could taste your lips.

Once contact had been made; you couldn't help but melt even more to his touch and wrap your arms around his neck - and he couldn't help but deepen the kiss and caress your waist and back.

Soon enough, the passionate kiss had come to an end to catch their breaths.

"I love you so much. You know that, right?" Tom stared into her hues as the tip of their noses touched.

You slowly nodded and brought your hands up to his hollow cheeks, "I love you more." you said before pulling his face closer to kiss each other's lips once again.

Tom mumbled in-between the kisses, "I love you the most, sweetheart." before deepening it. His tongue soon entered your mouth and both your hands rubbed and caressed your bodies.

The hot post-fight make out session would last as long as half the length of the movie you played in the middle of the session; playing Atonement for the millionth time from your entire life.

After pulling your mouths away due to your jaws hurting; you slept and cuddled like babies.

Feeling the safest in each other's arms.

[bbymunsonx]

The Last Time (Ted's Version)

Chapter Ten

chapter warnings: language, ANGST, violence, abuse, smut(!!!), piv, oral (f), ted lasso is an aftercare king bc obvi (18+)

word count: 5.8k

buckle up ;)

"Julian?"

"You know, when I had to hear from my friends that you had taken a job with my coaches and moved across the Atlantic, I didn't think it was true. I thought to myself, 'Now, why would Lacy do that? Lacy is the kind of girl that's too scared to do anything. She'd be too scared to leave.' But here you are." Julian smirked, as he could sense that I was scared. He always could. 

"What- what are you doing here?" I asked.

"Just thought I'd pay a trip to see my girlfriend. I missed you so much," He grabbed his face with his hands and harshly planted an open kiss right on my lips. It was like he was trying to mark his territory. That's how he always felt with me. 

Just then, Ted's door swung open and he peaked his head out, "Is everything alright, Lace-." He immediately stopped when he realized what was happening. "Julian."

"Coach Lasso! How's it going, man?" Julian reached out to fist bump Ted but he didn't budge. He just kept his eyes on me. 

"Remember that movie we're gonna go see, we have to leave now if we're gonna make it in time," Ted said on the fly, coming up with an excuse to get Julian to leave. 

"Wait a second," Julian's gaze went from Ted to me to Ted to me. "Are you fucking this old man?" My blood ran cold, once again. I could take his abuse, I have for years. But I couldn't stomach him being mean to Ted, even if I was angry with him.

"No, Julian. He's not my boyfriend. You are. I only love you." I grabbed Julian's face to make him look at me, taking the heat off of Ted. Julian shook out of my grip and went walking over to Ted. 

"I used to like you. I thought you were a great coach. But then you steal my girlfriend away from me, and then you fuck her?" Julian's voice started to raise. 

"Julian, I understand why you are frustrated, okay? But Lacy here and I are just co-workers. Nothing more. She really loves you. I can tell." Ted nodded at Julian to try to get him to listen. 

Julian grabbed Ted by the collar of his shirt, "If I hear that you even talk to her, I will kick your fucking ass, old man, do you understand me? Besides," Julian got closer to Ted's ear, "Only I will ever know the sounds she makes right before she's about to-."

"Leave him alone!" I interjected and pulled Julian off of Ted. I have never even thought about doing something like that, but Ted is such an innocent guy. He doesn't deserve to be treated like this. 

"What's going on?" Coach Beard finally whipped his head out of his flat, probably because Julian was being so loud.

"You fucking bitch, did you just touch me? Did you touch me?" Julian spit at me. He started slowly walking toward me, trying to corner me against the wall. "Remember, you're a fucking good for nothing slut. You'd be nowhere if it weren't for me. I'm the only reason why you are where you are and I want you to remember that for the rest of your miserable fucking life." I flinched with every word that he threw at me. 

Julian moved closer to my ear and whispered, "You will always be mine. I own you." Julian punched the wall causing the drywall to crumble, inches away from my face. 

"You know what I think, Julian?" For some reason, Ted and Beard being here made me feel safe enough to be able to say this, and if I don't say it now, I never will. "I think you're an insecure little boy who feels threatened by your girlfriend leaving you to go work with two men. Two men that you always admired. You will never be half the man that Ted is, and you should feel fucking ashamed. You are an abusive piece of shit and you don't own anything. We are fucking over." 

If looks could kill, Ted, Beard, and I would all be dead on the floor. I feared that if Ted and Beard weren't here, Julian would actually kill me. But, to give the final blow, I leaned into his ear and whispered, "You wanna talk to Ted about that 'little sound I make right before I finish'? You've never made me finish a fucking day in my life, you selfish asshole." I smirked to myself knowing that what I just said had just tipped him over the ledge. 

"You fucking cunt," I swore at me. My eyes widen as I noticed him wind his fist back. He was gonna hit me. He always hit me, threw me into furniture, and pushed me around. He never actually "punched" me in the face. He always said he was too much of a gentleman. And now, now, he's going to punch me. As his fist was winded back, I closed my eyes, preparing for the blow. Suddenly, Ted grabbed both of his hands and held them behind his back, restraining him. 

Coach Beard walked up to Julian as he was restrained and said, "You know, I never liked you," before knocking him unconscious. When Julian landed on the ground, I let out a giant exhale my legs gave out, sending me to the floor. 

Completely ignoring Julian just laying on the ground, Ted came rushing over to me on the floor similarly to how I helped Ted when he had his panic attack. He took my face in his hands and looked me right in the face, "Lacy, breathe, baby, you gotta breathe." I looked up at him and just nodded, slowly down my breaths. 

"I'm gonna call the police. Do you want me to call Keeley and Rebecca?" Coach Beard asked. I could only nod. Coach Beard stepped away to go use his phone while Ted and I remained on the floor. 

"I'm gonna go see if Beard needs help making those calls," Ted went to get up but I immediately just grabbed his hand. 

"No. Please don't leave me." My voice shook. Ted immediately knelt back down and sat right next to me to the point where are legs were flushed against one another. 

"Alright, Lacy Loo. I'm not going anywhere. You might get a bit annoyed in a day or two but just remember you asked for this." He tried to joke with me and it actually made me laugh. Technically, I just blew air out of my nose but it's the thought that counts. 

I leaned my head on Ted's shoulder and interlocked out fingers together while we both sat on the floor waiting for the police to come. 

***

The police arrive within ten minutes and Keeley and Rebecca arrived within fifteen minutes. By the time the girls arrived, Julian had already been taken away by the police. One of the woman police officers knelt down on the floor to talk to me about what happened. After taking notes, she nodded and promised he wouldn't be an issue anymore. 

As soon as Rebecca and Keeley arrived, they switched spots with Ted and sat next to me. "When I got divorced, I had to absolutely best lawyers money could buy. I'll send them over your way, of no cost of course." Rebecca said as she took my hand. 

"Rebecca, I can't do that." I shook my head vigorously. 

"I knew you were going to say that. That's why I already made the phone call on my way here." She smiled down at me. "He's not going to hurt you anymore. I promise you that. We'll have a restraining order drawn up before the sun rises."

"I made a couple phone calls to some people, myself. I actually know some real shady people so let's see if the prick is even alive by the time your lawyers get to him. I had to talk Roy out of killing him himself," Keeley said causing me to smile. 

The three of us sat on the ground while Ted and Coach Beard were talking to the police officers outside. 

"So, they're taking him in," Ted came in and told us. "I wouldn't worry about him for right now. You're safe." Ted smiled down at me. 

"Babes, do you wanna stay the night with me? I don't think you should be alone." Keeley offered. 

"Ya know, she could stay with me." Ted suggested. "That way all of her stuff is here so that's one less thing she's gotta worry about." 

"Thank you, Keeley, but I think I'll stay with Ted." I shot her a guilty smile which made her smile. 

"You got it." She kissed my forehead. 

When I finally mustered enough strength to stand up, Rebecca and Keeley so I could get some rest. Ted helped me make a trip up to my flat to get some of the essentials I needed for the night to get settled into his flat. 

"Here, you can sleep in my bed and I'll sleep on the couch, alright?" Ted put all of my stuff down on the bed. 

"Ted, you're already opening your home for me, I can't ask for you to give up your bed, too. I'll sleep on the couch." I took my stuff off the bed and handed it back to Ted. 

"Absolutely not," Ted put my belongings back on the bed, "Mama Lasso would fly all the way over here and kick my buttocks if she knew I let you sleep on the couch. You're taking the bed, end of discussion." 

I smiled, "Okay. Do you mind if I take a quick shower? I just feel...icky." 

"Of course. I'll get everything set up for you." Ted disappeared into the bathroom for a few minutes. "Alright I put your shower products in there, a towel, a washcloth, and a toothbrush. I think that should be everything."

"Thank you, Ted." I smiled and patted him on the shoulder before walking behind him, into the bathroom. 

I took my time in the shower, making sure to scrub every inch of my body. Every single inch that Julian might have ever touched. Every single inch that Julian offended and claimed as his own. My body belongs to me and only me. 

After my shower, I saw Ted's Chief's t-shirt and a pair of my pajama bottoms on the bed. On top of the t-shirt was a note that said, "The only Kansas football player worthy of our time is Travis Kelce... no one else (don't worry, it's clean) - Ted" . I smiled to myself before putting on the t-shirt. It was extremely oversized, but it made me feel safe. 

 I walked into the kitchen to see Ted making Rebecca her biscuits. Before he realized I was standing there, I giggled to myself as I heard the faint sound of Taylor Swift coming from his phone, and the faintest sound of the lyrics stumbling from his lips. 

"So you're a secret Swiftie, huh?" I smirked. He jumped as he realized I was there. 

"Geez Louise. You'll give me a heart attack." Ted placed his hand over his heart. "It's just a playlist of all the hits. Of course Ms. Taylor Swift's gonna be on there." 

"Uh huh." I didn't believe him. "So you're gonna tell me you weren't singing along just now? This song isn't even a single." I laughed. 

"Excuse me, "Dancing with our Hands Tied" is one of my favorites." Ted scoffed. 

"You're definitely a Swiftie, Ted. Only Swifties know that song," I laughed, hoisting myself on the counter. I immediately took one of the big spoons that Ted was using to bake and used it as a pretend microphone as I started singing along with the song. I gave Ted the spoon back, but not to bake, but to sing the following lyrics. He knew every single word. We were in our own little word, I had almost completely forgot the events that took place tonight. 

I could spend all night sitting on this counter singing Taylor Swift, but I was just getting so tired,"I'm gonna try to get some sleep."

"Alright, let me know if there's anything you need alright?" Ted's eyes softened, to which I nodded. 

"Goodnight, Ted." 

"Goodnight, sugar." He said softly to the bag of sugar he was using to bake, "Oh yeah, goodnight to you too, Lacy."

I rolled my eyes and laughed as I walked over to his bedroom. 

***

"Lacy! Lacy you're dreaming! Wake up, honey! You gotta get up!" I heard in my sleep as my body started shaking. I woke up with a gasp, my scream filling the dark room. "You're okay. You're alright. Come here." Ted took my body into his grasp, holding me tight. 

"What happening?" I asked, completely oblivious as to what happened. 

"I was sleeping and I just heard you screaming. It seems like you were having a really bad nightmare. Does this happen often?" Ted asked as he stroked my hair. 

My head hung down, "No. This hasn't happened since I was with Julian. It stopped a few months ago."

"Well, you're alright now, okay? Try to get some sleep." Ted went to get up before I grabbed his arm. 

"Please. Please stay." I whimpered, almost mirroring the same conversation we had earlier in the night. 

"Are you sure? I don't have to," Ted was apprehensive at first. 

"I don't wanna be alone." I softly said making Ted nod. I scooched over, making room for Ted on the bed. I laid back down on my back, the same as Ted. The two of us staring up at the ceiling unable to sleep. 

It wasn't until Ted had inched his hand over to mine, and interlaced his pinky with mine. That alone made me feel the safest I've felt in months, easing me to sleep right away. 

***

Three days after the incident, Keeley had sent me a screenshot of an article written by Trent Crimm in "The Independent". The headline read "American Tourist Killed in Jail Incident". 

Keeley Jones: Told you. 

I didn't even have to read the article. I knew all that I had to know and it made my heart feel more at ease. Ted still wouldn't let me stay in my flat. We had made a deal that he'd let me move back into my flat when I stopped waking up in the middle of the night screaming. That could be never, but he didn't care. He just didn't want me alone. 

It's been five days since Julian was killed and I still can't get my night terrors under control. Ted and I were sitting on the couch, on opposite ends of course, having a drink and watching a movie. Both of us were in our pajamas, comfortable. But the alcohol created some tension in the air. 

I got up from the couch to go back to the kitchen to get another drink. Suddenly, the alcohol gave me the courage to say, "Can I ask you something a little personal?"

"Yeah, of course." He looked over at me. 

"Are you in love with Sassy?" I asked as I leaned against the counter.

"Why would you think I was in love with Sassy?" He seemed genuinely confused. 

"Because you had sex with her." Ted jumped off the couch as I responded. 

"Um, how do you know I slept with Sassy?" He asked, his eyes widening.

"I went to your room that night, just to ask how you were doing after everything that happened at karaoke. And let's just say that you're very vocal when you have sex. Also, I guess you forgot my room was right next to yours." I laughed. 

"Jesus Christ, Lacy, I'm-I'm so sorry. I didn't know you could hear all... all that." Ted apologized.

"You don't have to apologize, Ted. I was just wondering if you loved her." 

Ted laughed. "No, I don't love her. I was just upset and she was there. She's a great woman, but no, I don't love her." I hoisted myself up on the counter and sighed as he said that. "Why do you seem like you're relieved?" He raised an eyebrow at me. 

"Why would I possibly be relieved? Remember, I told you I liked Jamie." I smirked.

"You never told me you liked Jamie, you just told me that you were upset that he left. Actually, since you asking me if I loved Sassy solely because I had sex with her, I guess it's only fair if I ask you if you're in love with Jamie?" 

"Ted, don't be silly, of course I'm not in love with Jamie." I said. Ted started to walk closer to me, slowly. 

"Well, I, for one am relieved." Ted jokingly sighed a breath of relief. 

"Why are you possibly relieved?" I chucked. 

"I think you deserve to be with a real man that'll treat you well. And Jamie is not that man." Ted continued to walk closer to me. 

"You never know. Jamie is starting to change for the better. But I guess we'll never know now that he's gone," I laughed. 

"Lacy," Ted said seriously. I raised my eyebrows at him, showing him I was listening, intently. "Are you in love with anyone?" He furrowed his eyebrows at me, his eyes beginning to soften. 

"That's a loaded question, Coach Lasso. I think I may have to take this up with HR." I laughed as Ted moved as close as he possibly could, my legs instantly widening so he could stand in between them. 

"Panda." Ted said through lowered eyelids, his glance moving from my lips to my eyes. I'll always giggle at the idea of a grown man saying 'panda' to me. I should've picked a sexier word. 

"I'm in love with you, Ted." My eyebrows furrowed as those words fell out of my mouth. I couldn't lie anymore. Not to him or myself. Even though I'd love to blame it on the alcohol, the adrenaline of Ted standing between my legs made me feel completely sober. "I should've said it before, but I'm in love with you, Theodore Lasso. I've been in love with you since the first time I saw you. I love you so much it hurts." I grabbed his face in my hands and stroked his cheek with my thumb, causing him to shut his eyes. 

"Please... say something." I continued. 

"Lacy Watson, you are the most perfect woman that I have ever met in my entire life. I've loved you for so long and I'm so sorry that I made you think that I didn't. It sickens me how much love I have for you. Could you forgive me?" Ted raised an eyebrow at me. 

"I think you need to get on your knees and beg for my forgiveness," I joked around, being facetious. Ted instantly got on his knees right in front of me, still leaving me sat on top of the counter. 

"I remember on the flight over here, you told me you liked Taylor Swift and South Park. Every time I bake Rebecca her biscuits, I like to turn on Taylor Swift because it makes me feel like you're with me. You caught me the other night and I lied to you because I was embarrassed, but it's true. I love Taylor Swift because I love you. And every time I fall asleep at night, I turn on South Park in hopes that it'll somehow bring me closer to you. That's how much I love you." Ted said while looking up at me through glossy eyes. 

"Stand up, Teddy," I whispered to him. I quickly batted away the tears that started to form in my eyes. 

"Yes ma'am," he responded, but this time, his voice sounded way lower and had much more of a southern drawl to it. 

Ted rose to meet me at eye level, his gaze still flickering between my lips and my eyes. His eyes were glossed with inexplainable longing. I needed him and I needed him now. 

Ted lowered his head several inches until his lips were mere centimeters away from mine. He left his lips hovering for a second, and before I knew it, he pressed his lips onto mine. He started slowly at first, not knowing how I was going to react, but he didn't know how much I truly needed him. 

I wrapped my arms around his neck to pull him closer. The feeling of his mustache on my sensitive skin was even better than I imagined. As he started kissing me with more passion, I opened my mouth slightly to welcome his tongue. I squealed as soon as I felt his tongue, feeling pleasantly surprised by the feeling. Ted pulled away for a second, it felt like the worst second of my entire life.

"Uh oh, seems like I'm not the only one that's loud during sex," Ted taunted. 

"Oh, shut up," I scoffed and pulled him back to me. His lips were ravenous against my mouth, then traveled down to my neck and my collar bone. Every time he suck on my neck resulted in a desperate moan escaping my mouth. 

Suddenly, all of my clothes felt way too tight. My nipples strained in my tank top, it was almost painful. I groaned in frustration. I just wanted to rip all my clothes off. 

"What is it, baby?" Ted raised his head from my neck to meet my face, sending my frustration full force. 

"I need you, I need you now." I whined. Without question, Ted lifted me off of the counter, both of his hands flushed against my ass. My legs were wrapped around his waist as he tried to walk us to the bedroom. I wasted no time reattaching his lips to mine while grinding my core onto his obvious boner that was showing through his grey sweatpants. 

"Darlin', if you keep doing that I'm gonna bust in my pants before we even make it to the bedroom." Ted whispered in between kisses. As he was talking, I kissed a trail up and down his neck. 

"You better walk faster then, old man," I taunted, still peppering his neck in kisses. Ted rushed his pace and got us into the bedroom, gently placing me down on his bed. I inched up until I was flush against the headboard. 

I laid down while he started to climb up my body and started layering kisses all over my neck and face. "Mmm you're so beautiful, darlin'," Ted yearned in between kisses. 

Ted attached himself to my lips for a few more seconds before he started making his way down further. Thankfully, I didn't wear a bra tonight but my tank top was still way too much fabric. Ted started with sucking on my neck, then sucking on my collar bone, causing me to whimper. This man was such a tease. 

My nipples were rock hard and strained against the fabric of my tank top. As Ted was focused on on my collar bone, I snuck a hand underneath by tank top and slowly started to tug on my right nipple to relieve some of the pressure. 

Ted stopped kissing me for a minute and pulled away, looking down at me. "I'm sorry? Am I not good enough for you?" he joked while pulling my hand out from underneath my shirt. 

"Ted," I whined. "Please."

"Please what?" He quirked an eyebrow. 

"Touch me," I continued to whine. 

"Have I not been touching you this entire time?" He dragged a finger down my neck, down my collar bone, and right onto my tits. His fingers trailed both tits, intentionally not touching my nipples. He wanted to hear me say it first. 

"I need you to fuck me, Ted," I groaned. 

"Yes, ma'am," He nodded. That's all it took for him to hook his fingers around the bottom of my tank top and yanking it over my head. I laid underneath him, with no tank top on and no bra. His eyes widened and his pupils dilated at the sight of me bare beneath him. "Christ," he whispered before leaning down and taking one of my nipples in his mouth. That's all it took for me to become a whimpering mess. He swirled his tongue around my peaked nipples, slowly, making sure he was taking his time. 

"Fuck, Ted," I whined as he continued to suck on my nipples, making sure he was paying equal attention to both. When his mouth was latched to one, his thumb and forefinger worked on the other one, and vice versa. My arms were littered with goosebumps as my body was overtaken my pure pleasure. I arched my nipple into his mouth, chasing the warm heat. 

After he was done, Ted kissed his way down my stomach, taking his time and making sure every part of me was accounted for. As he laid between my legs, he looked up at me to get visible consent to continue. I frantically nodded and he laced his fingers under my shorts before yanking them down. 

I was wearing a pair of one of my nice lacy, black underwear tonight. I continued to pinch my nipples as Ted sucked on the inside of my thighs. As Ted worked his way to my core, went to pull my underwear down before I suddenly tightened up. "Wait a second!"

"What's wrong? Are you okay? We can stop if you want," Ted looked extremely worried. 

"Ted, I think I would actually kill you if you stopped right now. I just, I've never," I motioned to him in between my legs and then motioned in between my legs. I was so embarrassed that I covered my face. 

"No one's ever eaten you out before?" He quirked an eyebrow at me. I shook my head. 

"He always said it was gross. He always expected me to do the work," I groaned. Ted scoffed. 

"I don't have to if you don't want me to. But," Ted paused for a minute, "I'd absolutely love to."

I slowly removed my hands from my face, "Yeah?" I questioned, this time I quirked an eyebrow at him. 

"Baby, I wanna make you feel good. Do you you trust me?" He continued to rub my thighs to get me out of my head. 

"Absolutely," I smiled. 

"So just lay back and let me make you feel good," Ted smirked. I took a deep breath and laid on my back. I raised my hips a bit in order to help Ted get my underwear off. From the top of the bed, I could hear his breath shudder at the sight of my bare pussy. 

He planted kisses all over my thighs, but instead of stopping this time, he placed a kiss right on top of my pussy, causing me to let out an elongated whine. 

"Wow, just one touch and you're already whining for me," Ted cockily said into my core. I couldn't even speak so I just moaned in agreement. 

He extended his tongue and licked a long strip from my core right to my clit. Between the warm, wetness from his tongue and the harsh contact of his mustache on my clit, my back immediately arched off of the bed. 

As his tongue kept sucking on my clit, he slipped one finger inside of me, thrusting it in and out. 

"Mmm, Teddy, you feel so good." I moaned. 

"I can feel you clenching around my fingers darlin'." Ted lifted his face from my pussy to joke around, but if he pulled away one more time I was going to start sobbing. I tugged on his hair and forced it back in between my legs. The second I pulled on his hair, Ted let out a whine. I'll have to remember that. 

As his tongue became more hectic on my clit and his fingers pumped even faster, I inadvertently started to grind on his face. 

I  had suddenly remembered the night of the gala, when I had gotten home and touched myself to the exact thought of this. The reality is so much better than I had imagined. 

As I was getting closer to finishing, I hooked my ankles around his neck and interlaced my fingers in his hair, making sure he didn't move. 

"Teddy, I'm gonna, I'm gonna come." I whined. 

"It's alright, darlin'. Come on my face," Ted whispered. That's all it took for the cord in my lower belly to let go as I came all over Ted's face. 

"Fuuuuck,"  I breathlessly groaned as I rode out my high on Ted's face. His face stayed still, lapping up every last drop of me. He looked up at me, his eyes completely filled with lust, with my come dripping off of his mustache. His hair had become messy and was flopped over his forehead. It was the hottest thing I've ever seen. I pulled him back up to the top of the bed and immediately latched my mouth onto him. 

Correction, tasting myself on him was the hottest thing. 

I reached the bottom of his white T-shirt and pulled it over his head. I sat myself back so I could take in the sight of him. His broad shoulders. His dad-bod. The little trail of hair that lead underneath his pants. He was perfect. 

"Jesus Christ, Teddy." I groaned as I pulled him back to my mouth. As we continued to sloppily make out, I trailed my hands down his broad chest, down his stomach, and cupped him through his pants. "Do you want me to-" I looked down at his growing boner. 

"There's nothing I'd love more than your pretty little mouth on my cock, but I don't think I'd last two seconds." Ted cringed at himself as he spoke, causing me to giggle.

"Next time, then," I smiled. 

He kissed me for a few more seconds before he took off his grey sweatpants and his boxers. This man was huge, I thought to myself. But I didn't want anything more. My mouth practically watered at the sight of his throbbing cock in front of me. As he reattached his mouth onto mine, I quickly wrapped my leg around his, flipping us over so I was on top of him. 

"Is this okay?" I asked him, wanting to make sure he was still okay. 

Ted cupped my face, "Absolutely, darlin'. Can you reach over to my nightstand and grab a condom real quick?"

I smirked at him for a second before reaching over and grabbing a condom. "Did you hope this would be happening, Coach Lasso?" 

"If you call me Coach Lasso I'm gonna bust before I even get to fuck ya," Ted strained. 

"That's what does it for you?" I laughed while ripping the wrapping off of the condom and rolling it onto his throbbing cock. 

I interlocked my arms around Ted's neck as I gave myself leverage so I could slowly start to lower myself on his cock. His eyes immediately snapped shut and his breathing started to shake. He moved his hands to my hips so he could control how I move. My breath immediately hitched as I felt like he was going to split me into two. 

"Jesus, fuck, baby, you're so tight." Ted groaned, with his eyes still shut. 

"I'm not gonna move until you look at me, Teddy." I smirked, making his eyes start to flutter open. I sank down a little bit more, still getting used to the length. 

My mouth hung open, not even making any noise. I was so overtaken by the feeling of being full that my body couldn't do anything. 

After letting my pussy become accustomed to Ted, Ted groaned while looking down at us, "You got all of me, darlin'." 

That's when I began to move. Ted held my hips in place as I started to circulate my hips. I leaned down to kiss Ted, and the two of us just ended up whimpering into each others mouths. 

As I sped up my pace, Ted tried to keep his mouth latched to mine to stop me from screaming, "You gotta keep quiet, baby. You don't want Beard hearing us, do you?" Ted whimpered. 

"The whole city of Richmond could hear us for all I care. I want this entire city to know how fucking good you feel." I whimpered into Ted's mouth. 

"Fuck, Lace," Ted moaned into my mouth. There was just something about hearing Ted curse that almost made me come itself. "I'm almost there."

"Me too, baby,"  I let out a drawn out gasp. As soon as I said that, Ted reached out and used his thumb to rub circles around my sensitive clit. That completely sent me over the edge. "Fuck, Ted. I'm gonna-I'm-"

"Come with me, baby. That's it. Good girl," Ted whimpered as he could feel me clench around him. The both of us reaching our highs at the same exact time. I continued to whimper as I rode out my high, placing my forehead on Ted's forehead. Our incredibly sweaty foreheads instantly latching to one another. 

Ted slowly pulled out of me, causing me to roll over and fall onto my back, completely out of breath. I covered my face with my hands, immediately getting nervous about laying in Ted's bed naked. He must've sensed my apprehension as he almost instantaneously covered me with his sheet. 

"I'll be right back, darlin'," he whispered while kissing me on the forehead. After a moment, he comes back into the room with his boxers back on and a warm washcloth in his hands. 

"Can I?" He asked while he motioned the washcloth in between my legs. 

I could've almost sobbed. No man has ever done this for me, ever. "Of course, Teddy." I smiled. My heart was so full. 

Ted used the washcloth to help clean me up. He even took his time since he knew I was still sensitive. He got up from the bed to grab me my tank top and a pair of his boxers to wear. After I used the bathroom, I got dressed and giggled at myself in the mirror. I looked so sexed out. 

I walked back into the bedroom and my heart beamed at the sight of Ted laying in bed with his grey sweatpants and his white t-shirt back on. His back was pressed up against the headboard as he channel surfed, looking for my favorite show. He patted the spot next to him on the bed. I flopped down on the bed and nuzzled myself in his arms. 

"Here we go!" He exclaimed as he put on South Park, smiling down at me. 

"Ya know, you don't have to watch this now if you don't want to. You've already got me, Teddy." I looked up at him. 

"Actually, I don't mind. I've gotten used to it. It's actually a really good show," he laughed. As my eyes started to flutter shut, Ted must've thought I had fallen asleep since he leaned down to kiss me on the forehead before whispering, "Goodnight, my love."

That was the first night in over a week where I slept through the entire night.

authors note: there we have it folks!!!! julians dead and ted & lacy finally fucked! the end!! (jk im just getting started hehe) but this is the first time ive literally ever written smut so I hope its okay!!

taglist: @nerdgirljen

[sounknownvoid]

Sam's "puppy dog eyes" are just him,hurt or ashamed - vulnerable?

We all know (&love) sammy's "puppy dog eyes" - & thanks to dean, we've been told of its amazing powers of persuasion and influence on people... I mean look at the evidence:

How could you possibly say no to this face?... I certainly couldn't ...but maybe that's the point - hear me out..

In "Scarecrow", Dean waxes lyrical about how his brother could give you this "look" and people would just "buy into" whatever it was he was saying at the time...

Elsewhere too, it's remarked upon, by Dean, about how no one can resist the power of the "puppy dog eyes" - thing that strikes me though is the language used - its almost framed like its a "manipulative tactic", something that Sam deliberately uses to his advantage somehow and is a weapon in his personal arsenal to disarm and influence people....ie "mere mortals" - the language is almost ominous and sinister...from dean.

Similarly when he talks about how sam is the one more easily able to coax whoever they're interviewing on cases to trust them, persuade them gently with his demeanour to divulge information that they'd perhaps otherwise not have shared...again framed almost like a "secret power" of Sam's....by Dean.

But then, watch the actual show and the actual times those 'puppy dog eyes' are shown by sam - he'd usually hurt or bewildered or ashamed and guilty and scared - yes, even soulless sam coz y'know he was still an actual person... if it IS a tactic it usually seems to be to try and get other person to stop hurting him or to show that he's hurting (the point of facial expressions) in hope the said person will stop - which BTW, note how he blanks in later seasons instead and stops showing his vulnerability any more?...

and whenever he's been able to convince people to share information and to trust them - it's been because he employed EMPATHY n understanding and cared about the situations these "normal" people found themselves in...ie he simply treated these folks as normal human beings caught in a bad situation and showed them some consideration,thoughtfulness amd kindness.....and that's all.

Contrast to whenever dean has been on his own (or when soulless with him instead) - he has a hard edge to him and gives off some pretty angst n downright scary vibes- not too mention, he's usually pretty suspicious or scoffing at the "civvies" in his demeanour - prolonged contact with sam has taught him to moderate himself/his approach but it's not his "natural" state with folks...

And that brings me to the point I'm trying to make on this post...

What if dean, struggling with his own "complex feelings" and being unable to ever deny sam anything coz of his own love n conditioning reads Sam's wounded look as a manipulation- a way to explain away his own "weakness" ( coz remember in john & dean's world vulnerability & love is a weakness is not what a "man" does) - ie "sammy made me do it with his bewitching eyes" instead of "I love my brother so much I can't deny him anything" is more palatable to dean.... and also, because his feelings frightened him and he's scared of the (perceived) hold sam has on him - he thinks sam MUST know of his effect on dean and MUST be using it on purpose....because conflict/threat&it's defusal & disarmament of said threat or weaponising their tools/themselves, is what they do.

And then, to further justify it to himself, he points to the interviews with civilians and how sam is able to persuade them too - so it's not just him, samm DOES have these "powers of persuasion"-bordering on ahem, the supernatural...but it's just sam being a decent human to these folks...

Just like everything else Sam's been blamed for or, something ominous being made of something he does or is - maybe those "famous" puppy-dog eyes of his are just sam looking actually, genuinely hurt,wounded,betrayed? - but it's so much easier to deflect and dismiss as a manipulative tactic so that no reparations or even acknowledgements need to be made and so no accountability required to be taken - which is after all, "dean special power"?....

it strikes me everytime, how much of our views of sam are molded and informed by dean's POV in the narrative of supernatural....

I'm beginning to wonder if we've ever actually seen sam as he was in the story at all - from an objective standpoint, let alone his own POV (which I'm sure would be far darker of himself and also inaccurate?)...

[melancholic-choleric]

notes: novelist!Dazai au, angst, major character death, random quotes and references from different works

1. sometimes happiness arrives one night too late.

June fades, falling into the lap of July. I’m once again reminded of the fleeting nature of summer, how it’s ardent and melancholic, hot and unbearable, cruel but sweet.

I didn’t usually like to talk about death. The monosyllabic word with four characters is like an acid, leaving a bitter aftertaste on my palate whenever it leaves my mouth. The mere thought of it can make one’s stomach churn in discomfort.

I came across a page of snippets from a novel in a weekly magazine, penned by an author who harbored a deep fascination with the theme of suicide. I read it word for word on the tram home everyday. I mentioned it to my mother at dinner, but she brushed me off and said the author sounds like a second-rate Camus, spouting pseudo-intellectual nonsense. I didn’t say anything afterward.

Whether it was sheer curiosity or an impulsive whim, I wrote to him that night. Osamu Dazai as my recipient. Folded the letter in half and tucked it in an envelope, before sticking a Nippon stamp at the top right corner.

One letter, two letters, three letters that quickly turned into four, I found myself waiting for his reply. His stories however bleak and esoteric, steeped in despair and sadness, brought me a strange sense of comfort. They made me laugh, cry, and utterly miserable sometimes, all written by a man whose morals were as tangled as his mind.

2. him.

July passed by, came August.

My letters languished in silence, unanswered and forlorn.

I liked the serials of a certain writer, but it has been weeks since an update. Looking at last month's familiar cover and the bright red issue number, I frowned. I wasn't sure if it was merely a hiatus or if he had fallen victim to the merciless torment inflicted by his own psyche.

Whatever it was, I found myself standing at his doorstep anyway. A 1DK rented apartment, frayed and threadbare. He opened the door for me. The novelist is about 1.8 meters tall, and around thirty years old, give or take, though I'm not sure of the exact figure. I explained I was the reader who mentioned wanting to visit him in my letter. I then said my name, avoiding his gaze, feeling quite ashamed. I didn't dare to look too much, but my peripheral vision caught glimpses of the crab meat cans piled in the corner on a countertop. Scattered about were crumpled balls of paper, unfurling along their creases like petals of some reluctant bloom. The reason I didn't dare to look too much wasn't because I thought I shouldn't, but because I was afraid. I was afraid of seeing green grid lines reminiscent of the paper I used, lurking within those discarded spheres, and I feared even more the discovery of my letters to him, confessions thrown into the mailbox in despair now serving as scrap. The nice stamps I've saved for special occasions, and the neat handwriting all ended up in vain.

Whether due to my uniform or merely a stroke of serendipity, he seemed to know who I was, as if he had figured me out before I even introduced myself. Unhappy people are sensitive to the unhappiness of others. He smiled. A mere smile can determine a woman's fate. It is frightening. Fascinatingly so. I have to be careful.

"Are you here to commit suicide with me?"

"Look how scared you are." The writer chuckled.

"I'm kidding."

3. mi casa, su casa

From that day onwards, he acquiesced in my frequent but irregular visits. I had told my mother that I started seeing a tutor, to keep her suspicions at bay. I wonder what came over me that made me lie to her. Guilt soon dissipated when the familiar smell of lead ink and tobacco flushed my senses as I stepped foot onto creaking floorboards.

It turned out, he did receive my letters. He even found them hilarious, and said it’d be no fun if he simply replied with a ‘thank you’ letter. But he said he didn't remember where he had discarded them. A sweet sentiment, although I was a delusional fool. I stopped doing my homework and looked up at him like a petulant child. He explained his absence from publication was due to his lack of motivation, which had ultimately left me to wonder if something terrible had happened to him.

"But alas, there were no great tragedies to report. Only my own laziness and indifference, the same old story. How tiresome... At least now I have a muse. Albeit a sappy and clumsy one."

Muse? I don't see one thing inspiring about myself.

It's not exactly common for fans to simply show up at their favorite author's doorstep. Most content themselves with adoration from afar.

But I waltzed into his life. Unannounced and artlessly.

I didn't know who Dazai Osamu was before. And I still don't know who he is up until now. But I knew he was a terribly lonely man. He didn't like to open up about his past, and I wasn't one to pry either. The less one knows, the better, I thought. He's not meant to be understood in the first place.

“In my case such an expression as 'to be fallen for' or even 'to be loved' is not in the least appropriate; perhaps it describes the situation more accurately to say that I was 'looked after.”

4. the moon is beautiful, isn't it?

I jokingly told him that he reminded me of Sylvia Plath once.

“Sylvia Plath? That poor soul. If she had been as lucky as me to be saved by death and kicked back to this miserable existence, perhaps she wouldn't have taken such drastic measures.”

He insisted he was not nearly as talented as she was, nor did he have the courage to follow in her footsteps. He preferred to die painlessly than stick his head into an oven, I assumed. Fair enough.

He would wince whenever I mentioned deadlines or something along those lines. I wonder if he thinks I'm here solely to torture him with reminders of his responsibilities. 

"Between you and my editor, I'm more harassed than a politician during election season." He mumbled, putting out a cigarette against a scrapped manuscript.

"It's long overdue anyway. I'll write whenever I feel like writing. Fin de la discussion."

It seemed like I was doing a terrible job as a muse.

On a cool and crisp October night, he led me to the shore. He stood in the water, as silent as the statue of Ushiku Daibutsu. Dazai asked me if he could hold my hand, and I accepted in confusion. I felt like if I didn’t, he’d slip away from my grasp and sink into the sea at any moment. I didn’t dare to let him go. Fingers intertwined, souls merged, all witnessed by the heavenly body herself.

5. rust and stardust

Unfortunately, there was nothing between us, nothing we did, only an unfinished novel. To be more specific, we hugged once, then I cried on his shoulders. I rarely see him write. I never knew what he was writing, although I supposed it added to the suspense when I got my hands on the final results, before scurrying off to the post office to hand it in for him.

Sometimes, he would pick me up from school, buy me a vanilla soft serve, and watch it melt away with the setting sun. If people knew about our rendezvouses, they might hastily conclude we had engaged in compensated dating, but what they don't know was that the person I was dating was extremely poor. I see myself as more of an errand girl. Enjo-kōsai was fairly popular among my peers, but the thought of becoming a mere source of amusement in exchange for money deeply unsettled me. Perhaps the only thing I sought in that man was companionship. Another soul to cling to.

I asked if I could die with him.

My novelist didn't say anything. He knew it wasn’t a joke. The silence depressed me. It wasn't the silence of silence. It was my own silence.

6. farewell, amireux

My novelist died due to suicide. His body was found lifeless in a rain-swollen canal near his rented apartment.

Oh, then what am I? A friend? A lover? A passerby? A parasite? Do I even have the right to be upset, even if I knew this day would come? What is he? He is just a novelist, a washed-up hack with no ambitions and a dubious sense of morality. I didn't read his unpublished works, I burned them all. Yet, as I sifted through the contents of his desk, I stumbled upon a meticulously arranged pile of letters, each bearing my name as the sender, adorned with a stamp I considered to be quite intricate, resting upon the surface. One tear, two tears, three tears that quickly turned into four, I found myself sobbing, uncontrollably and ferociously. What was left behind were only fragments of memories, slipping through the cracks of my hands while I gnawed away at my own misery and dwelled on his demise.

That which is destined to vanish shall inevitably fade away, and he too shall ultimately depart. I glided past him, as he glided past existence itself, one fleeting moment after another.

Goodbye.