#manifest meta

[grntaire]

“their miracle was so big bc crowley used to be an archangel” have u considered that aziraphale and crowley love each other so much that their love alone could move the tides just by staring at the ocean for too long. have u considered that they did the miracle not really to protect gabriel but to protect what they had, what they’d built with each other. and that was them barely even trying

[winterprince601]

honestly, i don't blame anyone for not making the connection between rhaegar targaryen and jon snow. they are such different guys to me. you could organically stumble upon rhaegar playing a silver harp in a clearing in the woods, silently weeping into the flowing waters of a crystalline stream. jon is the teenage manager of a fast food chain who sometimes shows up to work dripping wet because he doesn't own an umbrella.

[capriccio-ffxiv]

I strongly prefer it when the Scions *don't* have Ancient counterparts.

I think it means more if they're part of the new souls born to the star either after Zodiark's first summoning or after the Sundering. Which is a whole thing!

Importantly, those were the souls that the Convocation were going to sacrifice to Zodiark to bring back the Ancients they lost.

To me, I think it's vastly important that G'raha, Y'shtola, Urianger, Thancred, the twins, that all of them are people Emet-Selch would throw away without a second thought. That to him, you're the only one worth half a damn... And broken as you are, only half a damn. And before he lets himself accept that you really are what's left of Azem, you're just someone else he's convinced isn't a person.

But I think these are the very souls Azem left the Convocation to save, even if Azem still didn't want to break the world. And these are the souls that Venat and the Twelve did break the world to save.

To me that's so much more important than any reincarnation romance (much as I adore that kind of story too). That to Azem and to you, these people matter anyway.

[butchthirteen]

okay the other thing is like. can we think about why, in-universe and out, one might choose to have the doctor return to a fan favorite regeneration and a regeneration where both the character and actor were reluctant to move on? and (especially in the context of new who being about the doctor's trauma) can we think about why one might then bring in the new exciting regeneration and have that regeneration extend comfort to the prior one?

like people keep treating it like tennant and gatwa are like. competing. but it's not a competition, it's a collaboration. it's a meeting of old and new, it's a passing of the torch. and it's honestly really really beautiful to me.

[ludinusdaleth]

with the obligatory precursor statement of "the gods are not based on any earthen pantheon and thus cannot be drawn directly to any of our dieties, but downfall is heavily intentionally pulling from religious imagery": it is insane (in the best way) of nick marini to show up to critical role for his very first time and play pelor as the messiah shepherd giving food & shelter to poor refugees. whilst boarding a ship of regufees. to nuke the city that harbors them

[ouchmyghostskin]

Season 2 predictions regarding payneland:

I've been having thoughts since seeing the cameo where George said that there was a deleted scene post confession/ pre Crystal saying goodbye, where Edwin encouraged Charles to be honest with her about how he feels (which is kinda insane character development compared to episode one??? But good for him). Granted , they deleted it and we don't know why, but I'm going to assume it was for space/time etc. Originally I wasn't really sure if Edwin had picked up on the open-endedness of Charles saying that they had forever to figure it out, though I suspected he hadn't, but I thought that if he *had* that he would most likely wait. But now I think that Edwin probably saw that as "I don't reciprocate but don't worry we'll figure everything out". So I think the likelihood that Edwin might pursue something with someone else in season 2 is a definite possibility. Fully accepting Charles "rejection" and consciously deciding to address his loneliness and desire for romantic/sexual connection, despite his feelings for Charles. And....I suspect it's going to be the cat king. And I suspect that Charles is going to be caught between his interest in Crystal and insane jealousy about Edwin, and it's going to be the catalyst for him realizing that his jealousy is romantic in nature.

There is always the possibility payneland isn't endgame but I'm an optimist 👌

Now for some personal thoughts about the above that has some mildly negative feelings about catwin so if you would rather not read you can scroll now. 👍. Yay for curating your fandom experience!

So I'll be honest, there isn't even a small part of me that ships catwin. I thought the plot line was interesting, and I think the cat king is an interesting character that functions very well as a catalyst. I don't *hate* it and I have absolutely zero negative thoughts about people who enjoy it, just to be clear about that. Ship whatever you want, it's all paper dolls in a sandbox to me. For me personally though, I found the dynamic coercive enough to put me off it entirely as a ship. (For some people that's fun to explore, or ignore, in ships for a wide variety of reasons that I have zero desire to police, so again, I'm not criticizing catwin shippers). Secondarily , I actually don't ship characters all that often, but when I do Im pretty OTP about it, so that's contributing. But if that's the direction they're going in , it makes sense for them to continue with the cat king since it's established that Edwin is attracted to him, and has appeared to forgive him for manipulating him in season 1. So....I'll not be thrilled to see catwin content in season 2? But I can grimace through it if it's not endgame. Also...I've seen whispers that indicate some parts of fandom don't enjoy the jealousy plotline specifically bc they feel jealousy is harmful? I get it if it just doesn't interest you or brings up bad memories, but emotions don't harm others. Being angry or jealous is an almost unavoidable part of the human experience. Only your behavior motivated by those emotions can harm people. So ...I'm ALL for Charles continuing to grapple with emotions like jealousy and anger and coming to terms with realizing they don't make him an abusive person. Even if he handles it imperfectly that's still an interesting flaw, and there's an extremely large sliding scale of behavior between "that's something to work on but you are a great person" and actually harmful/abusive. Yay nuance!

[krakensdottir]

Also something really important I want to point out about Aziraphale's religious trauma.

It's often framed as him being directly abused by Heaven, generally emotionally. And while I don't doubt he's been belittled at points - probably not by Gabriel, the iconic exemplar of the Toxic Positivity boss, but we know how Michael and Uriel etc. can be - it also seems like he's received quite a lot of praise and has generally managed to pull off the appearance of being A Good Angel, or at least a satisfactory one. I don't think, and this is controversial, but I don't think Heaven was usually overtly hard on him.

Because that's not how this kind of cult mentality usually operates. Instead, it teaches you to abuse yourself. Your overseers don't have to directly hurt or insult you if you're so ingrained with fear of failure by the culture you were brought up in that you constantly question yourself as not good enough.

It's not as... satisfying, I guess? As an external abuser being the main issue. But it's a lot more real. At least to me, because I suffered so much anxiety over being 'good' when I was a kid, and it wasn't from direct abuse. It was absorbed from the culture I was surrounded by. I picked it up by osmosis from society at large, and it tormented me. I worried, I doubted, there was a time I literally feared going to Hell. And I wasn't raised strongly religious. My mother certainly treated me as a Good Kid, and never gave even the suggestion that I wasn't. But I felt that way anyway. And it tore me apart. Because internalizing that shit makes it so much harder to fight.

And to be clear at this point, I am not saying Heaven isn't abusive. I just think the nature of its abuse is more subtle and insidious than it's often given credit for. And - this is even harder to accept, but it's true, and it's important - it's not just abusive to Az. All the angels are victims of it. Yes, even Gabriel. The moment he, one of the most powerful forces in Heaven, steps out of line, we see that no one is exempt. Never even mind Muriel, who is literally on the lowest rung of the Heavenly ladder and has probably never been told they're worth anything beyond being, you know, an angel, so at least you're better than humans and demons.

It's a contrast with Crowley, who has long since accepted most (not all, there are definitely some deep issues remaining, but they're nothing like Aziraphale's) of his internal doubts and struggles. His fears are almost entirely external. He doesn't beat himself up if he fucks up. He doesn't have to. There are people happy to beat him up for him. So when things go really bad for him, his instinct is to run. To get out of the way of harm as much as possible.

The fact that Aziraphale is harder on himself than anyone else could be is a vital part of his character. He self-punishes. He self-criticizes. He feels awful every time he breaks the rules in the slightest, even though he isn't usually caught at it. Crowley can find some safety in solitude if he keeps his wits sharp and his head down. Aziraphale can't, because he carries Heaven's conditioning with him at all times. He doesn't need oversight, it doesn't take external threats to keep him in line. You don't need direct threats when literally everyone in your celestial workplace has seen firsthand the consequences of rebellion.

I don't know if I'm making sense here. Again, this is informed by personal experience and I can't claim to be unbiased. But I see so much internalization with Aziraphale. He literally can't even accept praise without being nervous as hell, and I don't think it's fear of punishment or ridicule that's his primary motivation. He simply cannot ever be good enough for himself.

That's how they get you.

Anyway, I think it's why his reaction to disaster is the opposite to Crowley's, why he feels he has to turn and face it and somehow avert the horror (or, alternatively, find some way to reconcile it in his head and accept it - because let's be real, that's often what happens) rather than get himself away. He's less afraid of failing his superiors than he is of failing himself. And God, who is, objectively, the biggest abuser in the entire story.

[gossippool]

so i do think it's very interesting how, at least from what i've observed, people see/depict worst logan as kind of different from the x men logan in terms of their propensity for violence, or rather how this violence is released. i think it has to do with a couple of things:

as many have pointed out, wade is the only one who has ever been able to match him in a fight. so it makes sense that people would headcanon their relationship as involving fights on the regular. but also;

most of what we see from him in the movie is him fighting, and so we assume that he has a tendency towards it, especially since the past he's trying to escape from is exactly that: him being violent towards others, including those who don't deserve it. i think this has definitely subconsciously shaped some people's perception of him in some way.

but i think it's good to remember that what we are shown isn't proportionate to who he is, because the movie necessarily can't develop his character much outside of the plot. i don't think worst logan and x-men logan are different at all in the sense of x-men logan being "gentler", because not only have we just not had the chance to see worst logan act otherwise, but x-men logan also has this same animalistic violence in him. we can see how quickly he unleashes himself in the movies when the situation calls for it, and even when he's doing it to protect, there's still that rage underneath it all.

worst logan is violent towards wade because 1. he's projecting, and 2. wade can take it. but also it's a symptom of something else that he hasn't worked through, possibly decades of trauma he hasn't worked through. i'm working on a fic that explores this rn, but my headcanon is that his post-x-men rampage was a sort of addiction for him because of the release it gave him, which he then replaced with getting shitfaced, and finding someone who could take him in a fight (wade) could be a reversion to the former addiction if he doesn't work on it. (i think that especially with superhero movies, it's so easy to brush off violence as just another normal thing, but realistically, a failure to unpack all that baggage could escalate his problems into something way worse.)

so imo i think worst logan is practically the same, if not very similar, to x-men logan, just that he's a variant that was dealt the worst card, but we interpret his character differently because all we're shown is what he became because of it. we all know logan is gentle with his lovers, and i think that unless wade shows that he enjoys it, logan would not be violent towards him just because wade can take it. just because you can doesn't mean you should, and i think he of all people would understand that

[danielsarmand]

do you think armand ever regrets it? not stepping out into the sun while he still could, i mean. when he dragged louis back inside and he was kicking and screaming and he wanted to leave... he thought he did it out of love, out of pity, out of mercy even, like the angel they used to paint him out to be would have. or maybe, surely, he didn't think that. maybe he just tried really hard to. but it was envy, wasn't it, that louis could still choose to get out of their shared hellscape and he couldn't. envy not of louis, specifically, but of all the young ones. of course he couldn't risk making fledglings—that would only mean subjecting himself to eventually look on as they left the curse he's stuck with. when making daniel he must have felt nothing but paralysing fear and existential dread. one thing is eventually losing the person you love to age and illness, one is giving them the power to end it all and leave him behind by choice. armand wouldn't make fledglings for a variety of reasons, but his crippling fear of abandonment has to take spot number one.

[jemmo]

Making sense of love for love's sake: the game

Despite all the things i absolutely adore about how the plot unravels and expands in love by love's sake, upon first watch, there's some things i couldn't piece together, which @lurkingshan echoes in their post:

'The way the author was messing with Myungha and forcing cruel choices on him really does not track with a desire to help him find happiness.'

And to preface, this is not something i fully get yet either. I think i'll need a good month and a sizeable reading list of relevant resources to understand just what/who this author/sunbae is and what his role is and how he is associated with myungha. But as always with the best shows for meta (aka bad buddy), as a plot unfolds, you can always find a better understanding by looking backwards and re-contextualising what you've already seen. so i watched ep 1, specifically the scene between myungha and his sunbae at the bar. And i will talk about how everything said in this scene has a whole new meaning now we know the full story, but for now i wanna focus on that question that they keep coming back to; "Then... will you change it for him?".

When you watch the show for the first time, your brain follows the simplest, most obvious version of the story you're being told, one where myungha has been pulled into the world of his sunbae's novel that's being turned into a game and given the opportunity to fix the thing he didn't like about it; making yeowoon happy, and thus you just think the rules of the game are imposed by the author, and so when these cruel choices first come up, you see them as the difficult roadblocks that are nevertheless necessary to any kind of game, forcing the player to make an impossible choice so that the game can continue in a certain direction and its only after that you learn whether it was the right choice or not, or there is no right choice, it simply changes the game you are playing.

And when its revealed what this game actually is, at first i tried to interpret these cruel choices, namely the choice between yeonwoon and myungha's grandma, and at best i could come up with the concept of this being a choice between staying stuck to the past aka choosing his grandma, even though he knows that choice doesn't mean she's safe bc he knows the future where he loses here, its an inevitability, but thats the small happiness he knew before it was taken away and thus that happiness is known and safe, theres no risk, versus choosing to pursue a new happiness, a love of yeowoon and thus himself, which he doesn't know, he hasn't experienced yet, and could be risky. Its a happiness that isn't guaranteed like his grandma, but its a happiness that looks to the future and has hope in it that he can find a new happiness to pursue despite what has happened in his past.

And that fits nice, okayish. But then i watched ep 1 and heard that question "Then... will you change it for him?" And watching through the rest of the eps, we come back to this scene at the bar and each time we get a new run up to the author asking this question, either new dialogue is added or we hear a different piece of the conversation entirely. It starts at the beginning of ep 1 as:

"Because Cha Yeowoon is the only one who's miserable." "It can't be helped that some people's lives are like that" "The fact that some people are destined to live that kind of life is what's vile."

Then a bit later in ep 1 we go back and its expanded.

"It can't be helped that some people's lives are like that" "The fact that some people are destined to live that kind of life is what's vile." "Why? Do you think you'd write it differently?" "Yes, definately. Someone like Cha Yeowoon, or someone like me with an awful life, can also be happy."

And then all the way on in ep 6, we get this new dialogue.

"I don't like talking about destiny." "Why?" "Because it means everything is predestined." "Then do you not believe in fate?" "Fate and destiny are the same. My grandma likes to say that. She said life is like a written book, and how you'll live and die are written in it. (...)I don't like things like this. Even if fate is already destined, I think it can still be changed. Otherwise, there's no point in trying." "Really? Then Myungha..."

And while we don't hear the author ask the same question, I feel like him getting cut off like that insinuates that the conversation leads to that same ending point. All that is to say, every time we hear this question being asked, its like we learn more and more about what this whole thing is, what the game is, what myungha is saying he will do by agreeing to do what the author asks. And every time, we see myungha being more defiant against the idea of yeowoon being resigned to his miserable ending. He starts off thinking that kind of life is destined, and while it's miserable, its not something he can fight. Then he says he'd want to write the story differently, bc yeowoon, or even him, could be happy. He challenges the idea that yeowoon, and thus himself, is fated to be miserable, and opens up the possibility for happiness for them both, but doesn't yet have the means or resolve to do it, its like he knows its possible on a fundamental level, but doesn't see it as something he can actually achieve. But then we circle back to the idea of destiny and books, both of which came up in the previous quote, and seems incredibly pertinent seen as this whole thing is about a novel this author has written. Myungha talks about how he hates the idea that life is a book where everything written is predestined to happen, from the moment you live to the moment you die. He says "Even if fate is already destined, I think it can still be changed. Otherwise, there's no point in trying." That vile way of life he described before that he said was destined, he is now saying it can be changed, and that possibility is now something he's holding onto, its what he sees hope in so that he can keep trying, bc now he finally is trying, he has the resolve, he's trying to realise this thing, this impossibility of rewriting the life he thought was destined through the way he loves yeowoon.

And coming back to those cruel choices, given this fresh context, it made me think. bc this isn't actually a game that myungha has been put into where the rules are dictated by an author completely separate from him. He said himself, he'd rewrite it, he'd change things for yeowoon. And when you start to think of it less as him fighting against a rigid, removed system and more like him being a character in a story he is trying to rewrite himself, that has both the author and his own limitations, or just his own if you're in the school of thought that the author is some figment or part of myungha himself or his conciousness, then you can start to see where these cruel choices might come from. They could be myungha, the author making edits to this new story, imposing his own doubts and limitations on himself. When he says he has to pick between Yeowoon and his grandma, what if that's the new author myungha seeing this story unfold and thinking no this isn't right, he can't have it all, i'm not deserving of this much happiness.

And what makes me like this idea even more is that when we get that second choice between ending after 14 days or getting 100 days back at the cost of resetting Yeowoon's affection to 0, that whole conversation happens in what I think the bar actually is which is this frozen moment in time where myungha is in the water with this extension of a voice in his head that is talking through these things. That conversation in itself needs its own post, but when you look at it both as a decision to break up or not or a decision to hold onto life or not, you can see how the author is just this soundboard relaying the decisions myungha is going through in his head. The author's voice is his own, weighing up his decisions. And if he is the author here, it only reinforces that the person making the rules of this game is him. You can even extend it further to the idea of the debuffs, where he puts in place this thing that makes it so he causes harm to yeowoon when he's around, and its only by garnering affection that he can prevent it. He gives himself a reason from the get go to stay away from yeowoon and reason it as him doing it for yeowoon's safety, when in fact the only way to make yeowoon safe is to increase his affection, which he can only do by being near him. Its a system that at first gives myungha a reason to stay away aka not like himself, but ultimately says the only way you're going to make yeowoon like you, or the only way you can like yourself, is if you accept risk. And that in itself screams to me of a myungha writing in these game systems that are trying to encourage his own-self love while falling at the hurdle of his own lack of self-worth.

The idea is still messy in my head even for me, but i just really like the idea that myungha could be trying to fix this thing both as a character and game master, and that both these versions of him have these flaws that manifest in their different ways to cause the events we see. It kinda is the definition of being your own worst enemy, the idea that in order to work towards loving yourself, the biggest obstacle you have to encounter is yourself, bc we are the ones holding ourselves back, making all these rules that make it harder to like ourselves and pursue our own happiness. The voices in our head telling us that we aren't good enough and aren't deserving are our own, and while the things that happen to us can inform what they say, we're the one's reinforcing those words. And what this show teaches us is that, if we're the one holding that pen all along, we can choose to change what those words are. If we make the rules, you don't have to create a game with concrete ultimatums, you can create a game where rules don't control you. Instead, you make the decisions, and you can make the ones that make you happy.

[sunshinechay]

I absolutely understand why Babe would forgive Charlie so quickly. These two moments right here explains it perfectly:

And this one

Babe has spent almost his entire adult life feeling like he can’t love anyone. Feeling like he can’t, like he wasn’t worthy of that love, that he wasn’t worth it. He wanted someone who would love him uncondititionally and completely. Someone who would take care of him and not judge him. Then came Charlie. For all of Charlie’s flaws and lies, that is the one thing I don’t think I’ve ever doubted. Charlie loves Babe. He loves Babe so much but he also knows that if he tries to tell Babe who he is right away, Babe will reject him. Babe will, like he did at first, assume that it is all a part of Tony’s plan to get Babe back, to force him to go along with what Tony is planning.

With the foundation that their relationship has now, Babe knows that Charlie loves him. That everything he did, no matter how fucked up, was because he loved him. Charlie offers to die so that Babe will gets his senses back. I think that right there says a lot about how much Charlie loves Babe. How much Charlie loves period. He was even willing to lie to Tony on something easily fact checked. He lies and says he hasn’t seen Jeff. If Tony doesn’t know Jeff works at the garage I’d be very surprised. Charlie is so completely willing to put himself into harms ways for those that he loves. And Babe knows that.

So Babe forgives him. Babe forgives Charlie because Charlie disproves every single negative thing Babe has ever thought about his ability to love, about his ability to be loved. Babe is so starved for love, for touch, for someone to love him. Charlie gives it to him in spades, never stopping. Babe feels safe enough with Charlie to actually love him back. Something he has never done before, he’s never felt like he could.

This is also not so incidentally why I won’t get on the “Way might be a walking red flag but I’m color blinded” train. I have felt the exact same way Babe has felt before, something I still struggle with to this day. That kind of intense self loathing is tough to live with. Babe lived with his for years before Charlie. He never felt like could love anyone, and Way made him feel that. Way made him feel like he wasn’t worthy. It feels like an extremely fucked up version of “if I can’t have him no one can”. I do think it comes from Way also feeling similar to Babe, which is why I am still ultimately sympathetic to Way as a character, but the boy needs to step the fuck back from Babe and let the man live his life and be happy with Charlie. Babe has said so many times, including to his face, that he and Way could only ever be friends. Way just doesn’t seem willing to accept that, which a big yikes for me. Add the hypnosis on top of that and if this were in any other genre, I’d be voting for Way to get his head lopped off. Still I love Way is able to move on, whether that is with Pete or not. Hopefully his and Babe’s friendship will improve because of it.

So yeah, I don’t find it surprising at all that Babe is willing to forgive Charlie that easily. Charlie is everything he’s ever wanted on a silver platter. He was also willing to be completely honest with Babe as soon as Babe asked for honesty. He didn’t lie, he didn’t beat around the bush. He explained it all, point blank. He didn’t even lie about being the reason Babe lost his senses, even when he could have and it’s likely Babe would have never found out. Charlie proved that he does love Babe, genuinely and completely. He wants to protect Babe no matter what. He is willing to do anything. It’s exactly what Babe wants and what he needs. I have no doubt Babe will give back as good as he gets too.

This likely isn’t the end of the road for this discussion. I think they will revisit it eventually, though under what circumstances I can’t say. For now, Babe is willing to forgive him easily, because he loves Charlie and Charlie loves him. In the end, that’s all Babe wants and now that he is getting the chance, he’s going to grab it and hold on with both hands. He knows he can do that because he knows, down to his core, that Charlie will do the same for him.

[mickeym4ndy]

I always think a lot of Mickey’s trauma that he buried pretty deep will hit him really really hard post canon.

He’s been in survival mode his whole life so he suppressed a lot of what happened to him just to get through life. He didn’t have the option of dealing with it.

Post canon, things will likely finally slow down for him - less money worries because they have their business, no threat of Terry coming after him, not doing many illegal things so less constant fear of getting caught for something and going back to jail.

So he’ll finally be able to relax a bit and, in his mind, start living and enjoying things in life.

But I think once life slows down, all the trauma from his childhood all the way to adulthood will hit him like a truck. Even things he hasn’t thought about in years will really start affecting him.

And I think he’d get frustrated with himself because he wouldn’t be able to understand why he’s doing so much worse when things are finally good.

But that’s actually why he’s doing so much worse. Because he doesn’t need to constantly prepared for something going wrong, so there’s space for other things in his mind, so everything he’s buried would come right to the surface.

I feel like he’d go through a pretty hard time before he can start to get better because he’ll have to face things he’s suppressed head on, because he won’t be able to bury them any more.

[inluvwcaitvi]

another thing abt vi that i don’t believe ppl realize and gloss over is that she’s an incredibly depressed and anxious woman who uses anger/violence and rationalization to cope with her intense emotions, often guilt and despair.

[in-kyblogs]

I read a post about how Bailey’s Claudia had a more unhinged quality to her that didn’t let you forget she was Lestat’s blood while Delainey brings a weariness to her character (Rolin called her ‘an old soul’) and I was thinking that the weariness is more reminiscent of Louis and how he approaches life. From a meta perspective it just falls extremely well into play for their narrative: season 1 being focused on Claudia and Lestat relationship and how Lestat failed her to the point he had to kill him, and season 2 being how Louis failed her, how their relationship degraded beyond repair and, in the end, she was the one who was killed

[myrmica]

its so funny that all minute—the guy who once upon a time hoped to redeem zam—'s team has accomplished is getting him to consider giving up his remaining honor in order to match the level they're playing on ?

[blakbonnet]

don't think people realise how friendless Ed is - exactly like Stede - and that's why this dynamic works so well?? he's spent his entire life with people chasing the thrill of Blackbeard and never wanting to know him at all. Meanwhile this adorable guy comes along and yes and's him every step of the way I'm just- he's just a little guy who wants to point at frankfurter clouds and have the other person say "nope I think that might be a telescope actually" he just needs friends!!!!