#math doesnt lie

[iftadwascool]

Cell > Frieza

[unnonexistence]

95% of math brainteasers that go viral are just bad notation and it drives me up the wall

[doomedcorpses]

missile launcher

[especiallyhaytham]

I love how a year ago I hadn't even played Unity because "Ugh bad reviews, I'll get around to it someday" and now I'm like "Unequivocally the best game in the franchise, Ubisoft will never peak like this again, perfect and stunning, Arno poor meow my son"

[donghuamuqing]

Will who impulsively tells the truth despite hating confrontation and mike that has to clean up the mess it might leave behind afterward

[cosmicallyavg]

not to be that person.. and maybe im wrong... but the geography of thirteens regen isnt accurate .................... durdle door points west and so if it was a sunrise, the sun would be to the east, which would be behind her, not directly in front of her ......................

[technicolorxsn]

okay I lied abt hs math being easier to help with than elementary, I did an easier but more advanced thing to solve one of their hw problems and now don't know how to explain how to get the answer the way they're supposed to

[urwendii]

One day I'll finish my paper but today isn't that day *vanishes into a black hole*

[ncttytrack]

Hi can you write about y/n’s first time giving blowjob to jake (who’s a fuckboy) and jake will be so turned on on how innocent y/n is, guiding her on how to suck his dick right. And jake is thrilled at the idea of being able to fuck a virgin mouth and so in the end he fucks her hard til she pass out🤤😫🥵👅😵‍💫 jake hard dom!!!!!!!

IM SORRY IT JUST DOESNT LEAVE MY MIND😭 Please make it happen 🥺

Daaamn. Fuckboy Jake is soooo 🤤

Let me guide you - s.j

If only you knew the amount of times he jerked off to the thought of being your first everything, first time sucking someones dick, first time having sex, first time letting someone take over you.

Fuckboy!Jake x virgin!reader

Words: 1.3k+

Warnings: size kink, virginity kink (duh), Dom!Jake, Sub!reader, choking, reader passing out, Jake is ruthless

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ ʚɞ ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆ ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ ʚɞ ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆ ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨

Your soft knees are standing on the hard floor, making your knees hurt and bruised. His hand is on your head, playing with your hair, before tugging it harshly, earning a crying whine from you. You don't really know how to explain how you got in this position, on your knees in front of the school's biggest fuckboy Jake Sim. Easily described, he lyingly said he wanted help with his math homework, wanting you to help him out. Since you are a saint, not knowing the lie behind his words, you gladly helped.

He had used this tactic on a lot of girls before, but was still surprised when it worked on you. How innocent were you really, when you naively made your way to his house, into his own bedroom, wearing the tiniest skirt and the cutest sweater. By now, he would've thought you had heard the rumors about him, and also noticed his massive boner hiding under his gray sweats.

You had tutored him for five minutes before he started toying with your inner thigh, making you yelp. And after ten more minutes with his teasing touch, you were on your knees in front of him. The way he looks down on you, leaning back against the sofa with his legs spread wide, pants down, is making him too hot for you to handle. The position is making you come eye to eye with his hard cock, being able to see the preecum leeking out from the tip.

His tongue is licking his bottom lip, "Have you ever done this before, darling?" He says, already knowing the answer. Your breaths are already heavy, looking up at him with innocent eyes. If he didn't hold himself back, he would just cum by looking at your cute face, unaware of what's about to come.

"No, Jakey" You say, looking away with flushed cheeks, embaressed that you had never had sex before, not even seen a cock until now. Jake takes a deep breath, using his grip on your head to make you look at him again. He gulps down his salivia, drooling at the thought of fucking a virgin mouth. Your virgin mouth.

Any since he saw you in school, he knew you were a virgin, or at least hoped. If only you knew the amount of times he jerked off to the thought of being your first everything, first time sucking someones dick, first time having sex, first time letting someone take over you. That's when he came up with the smartest plan, to make you tutor him. He knew that you were naive enough to help him, naive enough to not know what he actually wanted from you.

"You want me to guide you, baby?" He says, a hand still on your head. You nod your head nervously, looking at his cock again before grabbing it with your hand. He is thick, and long, and you try to calculate how it's going to fit inside your mouth. You had heard from your friends that you are supposed to jerk it off before sucking it, so that's what you did. But it was hard, not enough preecum for your hand to glide up and down his length, making him hiss in pain. He stops you, "You need to spit on it, baby". You feel disgusting when you spit on his cock, watching it glide down his member, the sight making your pussy soaked.

"Now lick the tip before wrapping your lips around it mhm" Jake says, still looking at your small figure trying to pleasure his cock. You follow his orders, licking the tip of his cock, making his head tilt back against the sofa. He lets out a small groan at the feeling of your wet tongue coming in contact with his aching cock. Seeing how your actions made him feel, made you want to pleasure him more, wrapping your lips around the tip.

"Now go slow, up and down, baby" You suck him real good for your first time, swirling your tongue around his length while sucking him, using your hands to jerk of the length that doesen't fit in your mouth. You clench your thighs at the feeling of Jake's cock in your mouth, and the way he so caringly guides you to suck him just the way he wants you to.

"Fuck just like that, bunny" Jake tries to hold back, the only thing he wants is to be as harsh to you as he is to everyone else. He is trying his hardest not to thrust his hips into your mouth, making his length go down your throat. But when your mouth starts to work up and down its length at a faster pase, he can't hold back anymore.

Both of his hands grab the back of your head, thrusting his cock deep down your throat over and over again. He wants to close his eyes out of pleasure, but he needs to look at you while he fucks your mouth. Your eyes are glued to him, drol is coming out your lips, adding the extra lubricant which makes it feel just right.

He eyes look down at your thighs, seeing them clench together, oh how wet you were from sucking his cock. His hands leave your head, grabbing your shoulder to pull you away from his length. He grabs your waist, using his strength to lift up your entire body before throwing you on the sofa.

He lifts up your skirt, seeing your drenched pink panties. Just seeing that makes him hard again. "Aw, baby, you are completely soaked!" He says, looking down at you with a teasing grin. He lifts up your legs and leans them on his shoulders so he can see more of you, using his finger to gently touch your pussy outside of your panties. You let out a loud whine at the feeling of his long fingers coming in contact with your wet core. "Plase, Jakey-"

As much he wanted to tease you, to make you a pleading mess for his touch, the sound of his name coming from your lips makes him insane. He rips off your panties, making him able to see your glistering hole, waiting to be ripped apart by his hard cock.

You look up at him with a worried expression. Your eyebrows furrowed, biting your bottom lip. "What if you are too big? What if I can't take it". He bites his lips trying to hold back his laughter at your statement. "Oh I know you can take it bunny, m' gonna fuck you so good, make my baby feel so, so, good"

And that's what he does. With a hand on your stomach, pushing you further down against the sofa, and with the other around your calf keeping you in place, he thrusts his cock into you. "Fuuuck, you feel so good, baby, taking my cock so well" He tries to hold himself back, to let your clenching, tight, hole adjust to his massive size, but he simply can't. He sees completely red, the way the tears are streaming down your face, and how desperately loud your moans are, is making it impossible for him not to pound himself into you.

Jake's thrusts never slow down, and with a hand on your neck, he rams into you, hard. Your head begins to feel light headed because of the pleasure and his grip. And, If he would choose, he would never stop, always wanting to have his cock inside your warm, virgin, pussy. And he fucks you, and fucks you, fucks you so hard til his cum leaks out of your pussy. He doesn’t stop, making you pass out with his still cock inside of you.

When you wake up, Jake is hugging you from behind, his cock still being inside of you. His hands have a firm grip on your waist, making sure you don't leave him. His plump lips are kissing your neck, whispering sweet nothings by your ear. "You were so good for me, baby, I could stay like this forever"

[fangirlingpuggle]

hey question, is shermie the baby in the gaslit falls au? cause if he is then the math is that both he and his kid would need to have kids at like 18 (in the MOST generous interpretation of the math) for the kids to be 12 in the show, and while that is totally possible ford def is just like

ford: the math for that doesnt work stanley! shemie is far too young to have grandchildren. they are obviously my kids

stan: it was a teen pregnancy poindexter , THOSE HAPPEN

ford: teen pregnancies two generations in a row? the math is just too convienent! obviously this was a lie by bill

stan: its better math then you having twelve year old kids in this dimension when you've been in a different dimension for the past tHIRTY, WHY DID PEOPLE EVER CALL YOU THE SMART ONE-

HA! I love Ford using math to justify it while Stan is just screaming in despair.

Ford: See everything points to it, they're my kids nothing else makes sense

Stan:...nothing about this makes sense

Ford: Exactly and that's how you know Bill is involved

Ford is basically the always sunny pepe silvia meme

[sugar-omi]

OMFG DUDE I was thinking abt coves dick again (as one does 🤭) and just realized w the dick size math that cove prolly bought normal condoms before yall went ‘all the way’ bc he didn’t kno he was huge (like u said in that one ramble like “move ur arm” “that’s not my arm”)

so when yall actually get into it and he tries to put it on u just have an awkward moment where he’s like

“it’s too small🧍‍♂️”

and now he’s apologizing for ‘ruining’ ur ‘real’ first time together and ur torn between comforting him that he didn’t ruin shit and laughing bc usually when guys say that it’s a fucking lie but he’s actually so deadass and u can see it the way the rubber doesn’t even accommodate his tip 😭💀

then u gotta tell him it’s okay to hold off until yall get bigger condoms or ur okay going raw if he is 🤭🤭🤭

-🗑️

ARGHH YOU ARE NOT HELPING MY ACCIDENTAL CREAMPIE BRAINROT. "the way the rubber doesnt even accommodate his tip" ohhh god biting my lips off my face rn. i can't fucking....

he would be too scared to go raw, especially first time. he knows that's a demon he's not ready to face (if you ask, he'll say he worried about any accidental children. but deep, deep in his mind. he knows something will, and does, click when you do it raw and he cums in you the first time...)

mmm, there's a few different ways to go with this...

because I can see cove waiting, im sure he does. he does wait, he wants things to be perfect (as perfect as 2 virgins fucking for the first time can be) and for you guys to avoid any unwanted scares or accidents.

but I also love the thought of him being impatient..

he buys the "right" condoms the second time around, and it doesn't look exactly right... but it's definitely not as small as last time...

decides to go with it after a bit of inner turmoil... "..maybe it's meant to fit that way? I thought it was supposed to go all the way to the base, though. its a bit tight, too... fuck, it'd be way too embarrassing to get the size wrong again. not that y/n would bully me about it or something, but... argh, I really want this to be perfect too. and I wanna go all the way with her..."

or even if he buys the right size, perhaps doesn't realize, or chooses the thin condoms since that's what was left. doesn't realize how different the thin ones are, especially of they're the ultra thin.

eitherway, all~~ circles back to right now. he's sinked into you, and he is gentle, he wants your first time to be romantic after all. but as he gets closer n closer to the edge, he gets a bit excited, his hips thrusting deeply into you.. all he can think about is how much he loves you, your pretty sounds, your body pressed against his, and the tight heat of your cunt.

doesn't realize when it breaks, not really anyway. gasps and moans because fuck you feel so hot inside, so wet and perfect... too far gone to think about the sudden change in sensation. and when he finishes, he definitely doesn't think about it. too lost in the feeling of his cum filling up the "condom" and your walls tightening around him as you finish too.

also love the thought that regardless of if he buys the right size or the thin, or if he remembers to pinch the tip of the rubber, all that sweet stuff.. he still ends up cumming inside you. not noticing if he teared the rubber in his hurry to be inside you already (blame teenage hormones, it's not his fault yeah 🙏)

of course not blowing his full load inside you, but i like to think that he cums so much, its really a miracle he doesn't break the rubbers from that amount alone... either way it's gonna leak out, n even just that little bit..

but regardless of how it happens, once he gets past the initial stress of it all n you get past the scare. his mind is totally filled with thoughts of actually coming inside you..

n even his dreams are filled with the image of your cunt all twitchy and wet with fluids n a bit puffy from all the fucking, n having earlier ate you out in the dream, n his fat load of cum leaking out of your cunt...

can't look you in the eye. he's totally ruined... probably can't look his parents in the eye either since he promised to be responsible, but now he's dreaming and fantasizing of doing otherwise..

[lexi0widow]

Can I get auhhh chubby/fat/curvy bimbo who loves pink and shopping and is kinda dumb reader with Stu Macher and Billy Loomis???? :)please 💖💖💖💖

ofc!!

STU MACHER

Oh he is in loveee with you

Will take you shopping all the time

Probably loves how dumb you are

HOWEVER- dont be afraid to ask him for help with something

Will lowkey do your math homework for you

not that hes any better at math

He’ll try 🥲

And if you manage it on your own!

Biggest hugs ever!!

Doesnt want you to ever be insecure!

He loves everything about you curves included and doesn’t understand how you don’t see the same

I mean look at you!!

You’re beautiful <3

He also loves pink

I cant even lie

Probably helped you paint your bedroom pink

He also loves snuggles

Just saying 👀

BILLY LOOMIS

Loves how dumb you are

Probably thrives on the thought of you depending on him

Will help you with stuff like hw if you really need it but prefers if you do it on your own

Only because he says that everytime yoy figure it out alone he’ll give you a reward

Also be prepared to be a regular at victoria’s secret

Takes you shopping all the time

Thinks you look so pretty

He just ends up buying you fucking everything you see

You don’t even need to ask because as soon as you look at it hes at the counter paying for it

He loves pink on you

Not on himself

Hes not a fan of it regularly but something about you wearing pink gets him going changes his mind

Basically just get ready to be spoiled

A lot.

<3

[thornsofdeath]

bucci gang dynamics

my dear friend asked me how i see their relationships so here is my word dump

bruno and abbacchio def have something going on. whether or not the gang or even if they themselves know it, being the "mom and dad of the bucci gang" have made them feel things for one another. bruno is very caring and patient with everyone and loves them all dearly. abbacchio is the crabby guy like the muppet hecklers but he is also very caring- he just doesnt know how to show it. ig he only lets those colors show with bruno. he and fugo also get along nice and calmly. as weve seen abba and giorno have a rocky relationship, but probably because abba sees his younger self in him? idk. narancia is immature in an endearing younger brother way, for fugo and gio who are younger than him he is more older brother but ykwim. him and mista are bromanicng it up i cant even lie. mista is one funky guy. mista has some of the most questionable yet campy fashion of the group but still respectable, fugo giorno and nara all look up to him in diff ways. abba thinks he is a silly rascal and bruno sees them as kind of equals (not in a condescending way more of like. hes one of the first ones on the team and bruno respects him greatly) fugo…. omg fugo my fav… he has so much going on. so bruno is obv his most trusted person bc he saved him from jail and gave him a new life and allat and he is incredibly grateful and HUGELY respects him and doesnt tolerate bruno slander at all. mista is like fugo's weird gay older brother, nara is very dear to him from the day he picked him off the streets but he does get frustrated with his stubborn nature and simple math skills. him and giorno… fugo respects giorno greatly also from when he helps with the illuso battle to also when gio becomes don and they have that scene in purple haze feedback (mefinks they are gay but thats aside the point). next is giorno who admires everyone in the group silently, as a new gangman he wants to show them he is worthy but also take time to highlight all of their strengths, similar to fugo, he sees mista as like a cheeky weird gay brother. they go to each other with occasional gossip and secrets and all sorts of weird stories. finally trish (not technically part of the gang but yk. she is in my heart) she and mista are great friends and also narancia and her are close. she sees bruno as sort of a father figure because he was the closest thing she had before she "met" diavolo and also helped save her when diavolo tried to kill her.

[captain-hen]

not to expand on the valid haterism, but the thing about tmmy being lonely and having no friends is just such a lie? like who did trivia with him and eddie? who got him fight tickets in vegas? but also, even if he didnt have any friends, its not like he wouldnt have had ample opportunity to find some? or take a hard look at himself and figure out why he doesnt have friends and maybe change that? just a suggestion.

also, hes so alone and had nobody but hes also besties with hen and chim? the maths doesnt add up.

it's like please remember your own favorite character's lore i can't keep doing it for you :/

[hauntedwizardmoment]

director's commentary for the chunk from "hollowed out and filled with feathers" that starts with "That night, after they’re settled into their room for the night..." and ends with "he's incredible at his job" 👀

oh my god YAY hollowed out is. kind of my baby <3 theyre all my babies but hollowed out is where Cool Girl Thesis lives and i love Cool Girl Thesis. i stand by my cancelled husband evil bisexual purse dog jace stardiamond. i love it when characters have no sense of their identity outside of what other people demand from them and are driven to madness by their own. well. hollowness.

so like. right before the start of this:

That night, after they’re settled into their room for the night (and the route to Sunpeak is charted out), he buys them several cases of the cheapest beer he can find, and pulls out a deck of cards for Porter’s favorite game. “Strip poker?”

we have porter giving jace a direct order to relax. and like, jace is clearly not relaxed. he's about to watch peregrine (guy he was in love with) and aurora (his fundie ex-coworker who ruined his life) get married. but porter gave him an order, so this is him making a show of how relaxed he is. they're gonna play a game porter likes but jace himself doesn't really care for. it doesnt help jace relax but it makes porter think jace is relaxed, is chill, is Cool Girl, and thats what matters

He loses deliberately, plays terribly on purpose and ignores the math in his head telling him exactly what cards Porter has. The tepid beer tastes disgusting and leaves his mouth dry, but he downs it anyways. Wills his shoulders to slouch, tosses his hair back and laughs as he unbuttons his shirt slowly, teasing, after Porter wins again. The goal is to relax, and godsfuckingdammit, he’ll show Porter how relaxed he can be.

jace dumbing himself down, drinking beer he doesnt like, and playing up the flirty act because again, he gets that when porter says "relax" he doesnt mean "curl up in bed doing crosswords and watch medical dramas until you fall asleep" he means "do something that i find fun and sexy, but don't be better than me because that's threatening."

He’ll show all of them just how much better he’s doing. 

and it's all a show because he's still deeply bitter and angry about losing his party and getting replaced.

His laughter turns genuine after the fifth beer, when he’s down to just his underwear and Porter’s still fully clothed. Even with the capital-P Plan and the thought of seeing his old party weighing on him, Porter still manages to make him smile. “You make me so, so happy,” he’s tipsy and stupid, just the way Porter likes him. “I was so lost without you,” he says, as a pair of strong, firm hands wrap around his waist, holding him still. When Porter lays him out, pins his wrists to the bed and conquers him, he doesn’t need to lie to himself.

there is a part of jace that likes not being so high strung! porter brings that out in him, teases out a humor, a lightness, an ease! hollows him out and fills him with feathers! he wants the persona to be real so badly, to actually be as Chill and Easy as porter thinks he is. he's able to lose himself in alcohol and sex and finally, genuinely relax by the end of this scene, but it's fleeting! he wants it to be real!

i won't lie here and say that i did this on purpose as foreshadowing for LSOP fic because this series is very much "whatever situation i can think to put jace in next" but in hindsight, this is like, very sad when you compare this jace to him in "his tomb by the sounding sea" who is dealing with the ramifications of actually being put in a place where he doesnt have to worry about being in control anymore.

and of course then we cut to:

Let it be known that he’s a complete idiot. A pretty face with nothing to back him up. And as of three days ago, even that’s up for debate.

jace POV for scene iv of "burn away the goodness, you and i remain" before he goes out and faces porter. he's been barely-conscious for three days and he's finally lucid enough to hate himself again!! yippee!! his lies have caught up with him and he's being punished for just how easily he caved to porter:

The problem is that he bought his own bullshit. He actually let himself believe he was the version of himself he invented for Porter: fun, easygoing, unchallenging and uncomplicated. Up for anything and everything, from petty theft to dangerous spellwork to erotic roleplay. He’d made sure any disagreements between them were reserved for the trivial, nothing that would ever get in the way of what Porter wanted or needed from him. Sanded down his edges, made himself the perfect partner and acolyte.

and the minute he disagreed with him, showed any sign of resistance, porter killed him over it and made sure that he wouldnt be able to do that again. this is the schrodinger's cat at he heart of starbreaker, to me: does porter care about jace, or was jace only a stepping stone in The Plan? how much of porter's care for him is an act/manipulation, and how much of it is genuine?

He’d forgotten love, for him, is always predicated on deception. If he was going to lie, he should have been prepared to keep it up forever.

jace genuinely believes this too </3 i dont think hes ever been genuine with anyone in his entire adult life, not since he learned that lying gets you what you want faster and easier and it only backfires when people find out

 He looks completely fucked and utterly unfuckable.   A chill runs through him when he remembers that it’s his own spellcraft that did this, ripped his control to shreds and gave the tattered pieces to someone else. Even now, he can feel an unfamiliar current of magic writhing beneath his skin, alive and with a mind of its own. The sensation turns his stomach, makes bile rise in his throat.

i think i'm like so preoccupied with "lack of control" being one of jace's worst fears because of how sorcerers are in rules-as-written d&d? like it's literally described as innate magic but idk man anything thats come innately to me has still always required me to hone whats already there with precision until it goes from good to really fucking good. also yay to jace selling a piece of himself to porter and for physical descriptions of magic, which i am also very preoccupied with.

He won’t let Porter see how much he’s falling apart.  If he pretends that he’s fine, then he is fine. He can still be everything Porter needs and wants, irreplaceable. He’s incredible at his job.

he's still fighting! he's so angry and spiteful in this, he can't even imagine letting the mask slip mere days after coming back to life. back to work, the show must go on! he's honestly mortified that there were three days where he didnt have the mask on. the performance is forever and it will take everything from him <3

[bourbonificould]

i feel alot as though i HAVE to like violet, i don’t hate or dislike her character but she also isn’t my favourite from s4. but a lot of her fans make me feel like she is the only likeable girl other than clem from s4 and that clem and violet is the only relationship that makes sense.

what’s your view on this?

It’s a really big problem that season 4 brings not gonna lie.

The girls in season 4 aren’t really dynamic bar Clem, Violet, Minerva(I guess), Lilly and kinda Brody. I feel like you get to know the guys more, which takes away from characters like Brody, who don’t even make it past episode 1, and Ruby, who you speak to like three times.

Whether you like Violet or not, she’s easily the most relevant female character other than Clementine in that season. Her relationship with Clem makes sense in its own way, while Louis’s makes sense in its own way.

She’s hardened, tough and takes a liking to Clem and AJ pretty quickly when they show up, even opening up a little bit when you’re in the dorm. It’s clear she feels comfortable with Clem even after Marlon dies. It’s likely that in the two week timeskip, Clem and Violet spend a lot of time together mapping things out as they’re the defacto leaders.

Personally, I loved Violet’s character and I also loved others. I liked Louis, Brody was good to me, Omar is nice, Mitch was cool. Letting people alternate your opinion on things is dumb. Please, don’t listen to Violentine or Clouis shippers on apps like TikTok, they’re all biased and stupid as fuck, and they think AJ is Carver’s kid and that Jane did the right thing 😭😭 Not a braincell in their minds.

You can like any character you want… maybe not Arvo lol, but you get the point. You don’t HAVE to like Violet, just make sure you place your opinions in places that aren’t filled with idiots who call out your every word. For example, just because you like Violet doesnt mean you hate Louis.

Like Lee said, it’s not like math, sometimes there’s never a right answer.