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truly-morgan · 2 years ago

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[College dormitory life (18+)]

AllCheng | Mo Dao Zu Shi Modern AU 08-06-2021

[#allcheng, college/university dorms] (NSFW)

let's imagine that (somehow) everyone goes to the same school and they all live in the same dorms.

jc is very pretty and everyone wants a piece of him and he doesn't mind giving~

-Wei Wuxian-

they managed to be roommates, as jc was much more comfortable with someone he knew than someone he wasn't familiar with. And familiar with they were.

They actually already had a little /something/ going on already, where they were fooling around a lot behind yzy and jfm backs, hiding from everyone else. They were each other first in many things, usually experimenting with each other.

now having a whole room for themselves only gave them more opportunities to fuck like they want, without needing to make sure no one is around. They can be a bit louder than before, but jc is scared to be caught by others so he tries to keep it down.

-Nie Huaisang-

nhs is actually the first one in the bunch to approach him first. they were already friends from high school so jc was already somewhat at ease with him. Plus nhs may or may not have a slight crush on jc because he is his type, but it's not a serious crush.

they both agreed that it was alright if it never leads to a serious relationship, they are playing around and nhs finds it just fine.

It gives jc the chance to switch a bit. Not that sex with wwx is bad, but he likes to top from time to time and nhs seems more than happy to bottom for him.

they usually try to do it when their roommate isn't there (tho wwx very much knows about it, they don't hide much from each other). If the moment needs it, they will take a hotel room when the horniness is too much to wait for an opening.

-Lan Xichen-

He is the first one of the seniors to approach him. it took a lot of flirting with jc (and seeing jc shyly respond with some flirting too). They usually meet in the library where jc likes to study (it's quieter and wwx doesn't go there much, hence more quietness).

lxc doesn't have the advantage of first really knowing jc, so he takes him on dates to make the other one more comfortable around him. clearly, they like each other and soon jc wonders how it would be to be manhandled by those strong hands (he has felt them on his waist, they are big, warm and very likely strong too).

the first shy jc is the one to kiss him first, trapping him against a shelf of the library, in a deserted corner. lxc took the given opportunity and they kissed a lot that time. they had to finish up with a handjob in the corner.

afterwards, they very much went farther, jc was more than happy to have strong hands on him like that. much like nhs, they try doing it when they have the time and the room are free (tho when lxc is horny, he is more likely to just rent a room for them, which is often).

-Nie Mingjue-

nmj knew about his brother's relationship with jc (of course nhs couldn't escape his brother making sure he got a good bf). They started somewhat hanging out when jc and lxc started being a bit more touchy together (but still not there yet).

They notice they were going to the same gym in the morning before classes and nmj ended up suggesting a drive to jc (he was pretty excited to be on a motorbike) they got closer by training together (nmj is pretty good at helping him work out correctly). The first time they fucked because of the sexual tension just being too much (and jc learning to be a tease) was in the gym shower room when no one was there.

they did it more than once afterwards in the locker room (jc found the trill of someone maybe finding out rather exciting) and when lxc wasn't in their room (it was a fun time when lxc stumbled on them that one time😏).

-Jin Zixuan-

(sorry jyl 😔)

jzx and jc never really planned that anything would happen, they love jyl too much to really do that to her.

but jc did find jxc attractive (but never said it to anyone) and jzx did like jc a bit despite never showing it.

(cw: sex while drunk)

they ended up sleeping together one time when everyone was drunk and people somehow managed to convince jc to crossdress for them. wwx kept saying jc could look more like jyl with makeup and a wig. later they started arguing about some stupid shit jzx did and the next thing they know they were in jzx room and getting at it pretty heavily.

the next morning was very awkward and they were unsure how to tell jyl about it. After all, they couldn't /not/ tell her, they didn't have it in them to not tell.

Sure thing, it was a really awkward meeting when they did so two days later, both young men looking ready to die for the stupid shit they did (as much of an angel as jyl can be, it was a rough couple of months before she got over it fully. they are both people she loves and trust, she never expected them to do that)

not the best experience for jc (even tho the sex was good)

-Lan Wangji-

lwj wanted to know what was so good about jx, since wwx would never shut up about him. Sure, they've known each other in school (just like with nhs), but he really doesn't get it. Isn't jc just a grumpy guy who does nothing but study?

what is his surprise when he learns from his /brother/ that jc isn't as innocent as he seems to be (or as wwx seems to like to claim). But he still doesn't understand why wwx would prefer him over lwj. so he pursues him only to see it for himself. of course, jc doesn't necessarily enjoy the more aggressive way lwj comes at him (isn't he supposed to be a quiet person!! isn't he more like his brother!?).

but he would lie if he said he wasn't curious to see how lwj would perform compared to his brother. Is he as strong? Would he be more gentle or as merciless as lxc can be sometimes?

So they end up hooking up at some point for some vaguely angry sex because of course they too had an argument before that leading to sexual tension.

lwj is surprised at how nice it actually was and he can admit wwx might not be wrong. in a way, lwj still wants to steal wwx hearts, but when jc comes up to him for more he will never say no to him. Maybe he doesn't hate the young man as much as he might do (and jc doesn't seem to hate him like he thought jc did).

-Xue Yang-

jc is seriously unsure sometimes if xy is really a student or not. He never sees him in classes or anything study related but you bet he will see him at parties getting drunk and high, flirting with anyone that catches his eyes.

of course, he becomes one of those targets and xy seems to have quite some fun flirting with him and not discreetly at all.

One night jc is horny so he simply gives in. After all, if xy is so eager to have him why not?

what was supposed to be one-night stand ended up becoming a more regular thing. Jc also learns he might not be as vanilla as he was (well, he /does/ enjoy semi-public sex soo).

-Wen Ning-

wn is one of the rare shy friends wwx has. He's pretty quiet and can be a bit of a doormat sometimes. jc never spoke much with him until once at a party they ended up both outside for a breath (his head was killing him and he needed fresh air).

He ended up disappearing for the rest of the night, leaving the loud party for a 24h coffee shop where he ended up talking with wn and learning about him.

they ended up having more of these little moments where they just sit down and talk for a long time, having more points in common than they thought they might have.

wn ends up developing a crush on him (but doesn't make a move because he's sure jc is either dating wwx or nhs). of course, wwx (the little traitor!) ends up telling jc because he wants his friend to get it too.

jc is a bit surprised that the shy wn has a crush on him, but he doesn't mind, wn is good-looking and also looks strong too.

jc decide to give it a chance, rather amused at how flustered wn gets when he decides to really put his heart into flirting.

at some point wn finally gets it, jc /is/ flirting with him, so he tentatively kisses him one time, nearly running away when jc doesn't respond out of being stunned (a little shy /wen ning/ kissed him first?! damn).

Thing escalates from there because you can be sure jc will get it if wn finally gives in. It's a bit new, since jc has now gotten used to other rough or kinky sex. wn is so gentle with him, as if scared to hurt him. He doesn't hate it, it's nice to have someone caring like this.

although, when they switch, wn does seem to enjoy having it a bit rougher than what he gives (it take a couple of time for wn to finally get assured enough that he won't hurt him if he goes a bit rougher).

Now jc can chuckle and smirk anytime people comment on how wn must be an innocent child who never did anything.

-Wen Chao-

Wc hears rumours about jc and he tries to pursue him because "Ah! of course the great me can get into his pants too".

Yet, his way of doing is even more aggressive than lwj to the point where nmj and lxc end up asking him to fuck off (although lxc is more polite about it in his terrifying way to always be calm, nmj still looks like a bigger treat).

So he gives up (which his brother doesn't stop mocking for a while after all his claiming of it being so easy). He does throw a tantrum when he learns wn got jc ("fucking /Wen Ning/? are we talking about the same cousin here? quiet and shy /Wen Ning/ got jc? how?!?!") so he resumes his tries, but this time he tries to be more gentle and much less aggressive than (which make him allow on thin ice by everyone else protecting jc's ass).

jc eventually allows him after wc got angry again when he refused him. "Oh, so you think you are better than everyone else? I suppose I can judge on that, tho if you fail my expectation you ain't getting more" (which is a slap in the face, because /wn/ checks out?).

So wc makes sure to show all he has. jc has to admit, he isn't bad, but he isn't the greatest either when wx only search for his own pleasure and doesn't really care for jc's one. "You're boring," jc says as he clicks his tongue when wx comes once and he didn't (he can see in wc face that he did not like that comment) "Let me show you".

Cue power bottom jc showing wc how to actually pleasure him. "Come back when you actually learned to make your partner feel good and not just you," he says when they are done, going back to his room.

wc put his heart into actually learning because he cannot let his pride be this hurt by the fact that he sucks and his cousin does well.

-Jin Guangyao-

jgy approached jc when he learned from both his friend that they sleep with jc (but he doesn't know everyone basically knows and everyone is fine with sharing), but also that he caused trouble between jzx and jyl.

he just wants to investigate and make sure his best friends are not sleeping with someone who's just taking advantage of them.

His tentative to scare jc by subtle showing he knows he's sleeping around with basically the whole dormitory at this point doesn't work, as jc just brushes it off ("Sure, tell them").

this is an open secret, but no one mention really knowing about it so jgy thinks everyone is being tricked. he wants to make sure his friend won't be hurt, but he cannot find actual proof because even xy won't help him on this one ("I don't think your er-ge cares").

So he decides that his latest option is sleeping with jc himself! He can sacrifice himself to help his friends.

but it's actually pretty good? better than with any ex he ever had, and jc sure knows what he does when they switch up. he feels somewhat down now that he betrayed his friend and wants/more/.

"You really don't need to worry," jc tells him as they lay next to each other al sweaty, "Everyone knows, but it was fun seeing you trying to expose me".

jgy seems still a bit unsure, but jc basically straight up call his gege and they pretty much confirm on the phone that yeah, they know and are alright with it. cue the three of them having fun together with jc to show jgy that he can keep having fun with jc too.

(I feel like I insulted jgy intelligence, sorry )

[I ran out of people that could be students :') feel free to put suggestions, I might add]

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sugar-petals · 4 years ago

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Baekhyun Doms You: Ending Up Laughing

↳⎡NOTE.⎦thought this’d be an interesting concept & a different side to smut: what if you try things out and it’s both not your thing? w/ a humorous twist and subby bf moments sprinkled in 😄

♡ words. 4k

+ tags ⚠️ pwp hc, bondage, throatfucking, graphic, cum play, unsafe/clumsy practice: do not recreate, degradation, biting, masochist bbh, domme!reader switches unsuccessfully, whips, hair-pulling

imagine that. a wide-eyed baekhyun pacing and tiptoeing in front of your toy shelf, trying to pick a riding crop he fancies. it takes five minutes and several ‘uhh, ohh’ confused puppy noises until he’s able to decide which one he’s taking.

...literally even if he knows exactly which one does what. you’ve used all of them on him.

meanwhile, you take three seconds flat to pull out one that fits your mood and proceed to edge the living shit out of him. yes, without literal further ado. teasing his dick and marking his thighs and doing all kinds of delicious things.

he’s still going back and forth in his head without having even started out. cutely tapping and swaying from one foot to the other.

it’s like he’s back to school. priceless.

what’s even more hilarious: baekhyun practices random mean facial expressions while trying to decide. he doesn’t seem to be sure what character he’s going for. it feels like he’s rehearsing for a concert or photoshoot, even. absolutely fascinating to watch.

i mean he’s absolutely photogenic no doubt about that but

you’re sitting on the bed waiting naked like okay is this gonna be william shakespeare deluxe or what is kyoong channelling over there

“um... i think i got it! this one, okay? i’m ready!”

finally he walks over, strutting with his nose in the air and his eyes glaring, muscles tense, a mysterious bad boy charm about him, whip ready to sting, lips tight and punitive...

....and hits his pinky toe on the bed

oh the pain

great master baekhyun flops headfirst into the sheets processing the existential cruelty of bedpost pinewood and needs head pats to recover

lots of head pats

at least twenty of them

so many head pats

more time passes until kyoong is back in character i guess

you probably could have listened to exo’s whole discography in the meantime

and knitted a rug for taemin’s new flat

anyway

baekhyun tries to act very confidently finally getting into it

adopting a sharp ‘hmph’ kind of tone

endlessly teasing your back and thighs with the riding crop

so far so good sir pinky toe

but he just goes on and on

you could actually crochet a pair of socks for chen’s daughter now that you think about it

it’s you who has to tell him to get to the point and it’s clear he’s more nervous than he pretends to show

to be fair he’s not the only one

you try to get yourself mentally ready but you find yourself giving him actual orders and even correcting his stance five times cuz he’s so wobbly on the mattress like a pupper indeed

baekhyun mumbles to himself and has a hard time fully implementing the advice on posture but tries to aim well regardless. it seems to work at first

but tragically

he ends up with a miss, hitting his own thigh rather than your ass and moans out loud

now you’re the one confused because you were waiting for the whip to come down

but nope it went elsewhere did it

you wonder how he managed to do all that furious fencing in the obsession mv with an aim like that

looks like he’s so submissive, he straight up whips himself

taking matters into his own hands is he. subs these days.

baekhyun keeps on being wobbly on the bed and looks like he ran a marathon already

may i remind you that this guy does 3-hour long concerts and can practice throughout an entire night

... you both agree to immediately scratch that completely after his next flailing strike sends the riding crop flying into his unsuspecting, non-consenting plushie collection

animal cruelty

moving on

you figure that a change of location might be a good idea

baekhyun sits you down on a chair and bashfully stores away the yeeted whip

he vows to never use a riding crop again already and his teddy bears are thankful for it

now the whole plushie village and whole china knows how you don’t do it

next up is rope

what could possibly go wrong

he practiced wrist bondage on his own ankles for five days straight, you really prepared a lot of things to test out together today

and he’s seen you tie him up over and over and over

but whatever it is that he manages to install on your arms

looks like a piece of very experimental modern art that just sold for half a million at sotheby’s

what’s supposed to be a column tie is nothing but a mere... ball

chaotic like baekhyun’s personality. not surprising at all

wait that rhymed

anyhow

even alexander the great couldn’t have cut this gordian knot of a tangly masterpiece

ironically: while baekhyun’s roughly grabbing your chin for an intense kiss... the rope casually falls apart harder than the soviet union in 1991 my loves, you ain’t ready

baekhyun takes ages to notice while he’s teasing and kissing you and ends up sweating bullets when he realizes that the sublime art fell to pieces.

sorry comrade

the fantasy knots and artistic freedom increases even more when it comes to putting a collar and leash on you

and his guy is supposed to be a dog owner? mongryong, instruct your man

baekhyun is a flustered mess trying to fasten it on you even if he tries very hard to be concentrated

maybe it’s because you’re watching him with literal hawk eyes checking every move (...hoping he learned something from you oh my). you’re not really melting into your role either, huh. the only thing melting is your pussy because baekhyun is acting so embarrassed which is the actual turn-on

if that doesn’t give you away

the leash comes off in two minutes time after baekhyun miraculously ties his own hands together with it

how the fuck did that happen

how do you even manage to do that

eager are we

after whipping his own thigh, self-domination 2.0 i guess

so whipping and bondage are off the programme

this has been the most chaotic and hazardous attempt at topping in the history of sm entertainment

and they’re literally called s and m

...humiliation is next

when you planned your session you both figured hey he’s tested and tried by exo’s lively debate culture and he might be able to pull that off

and there are no props involved so he’ll have an easy time right

life is an illusion

you find out he can’t pronounce degrading names clearly because he keeps on stuttering them. which in return makes baekhyun crack up.

carrying on the joke, you correct him every time.

“i want you to repeat after me: stupid, slutty, bitch.”

it ends up as you doing what you always do

teaching and training him while baekhyun either shyly or brattily obliges. you don’t even notice how you’re doing it but from the outside, it’s blatantly obvious.

because your brain is still feeling in domme mode, you also find yourself saying the usual things to him without thinking, even when he grabs you and gives orders. “now bend over! i’m gonna fuck your brains out.” — “okay, cutie!”

which causes baekhyun’s mean face to collapse and he snap out of his command tone immediately, snorting because it’s the last thing he expected

he tries to carry on by punishing you with an actual mouth gag and a harness he can hold onto while fucking you from behind, i mean your pussy is already wet why not

guess what’s gonna ensue

wearing a harness feels kind of strange and new so you wiggle back and forth and all over the place. like what is this, what’s happening. baekhyun’s dick is going into all kinds of directions my friends, the amusement park carousel surely inspired this fucking style right here.

and wearing a gag — there’s a way different person who needs to have this in his chatty mouth.

kai and kyungsoo’s dream would come true and yet you’re the one gagged

something ain’t right

if you’re honest. you’re feeling so weird being on the other end of punishment tonight and not being able to give him any directions. your dom brain is worrying he’s all left to his own devices trying to drive that confused dick home left and right and above and below and diagonal and crosswise.

the fuck

your poor guts my god

what’s worse: his stamina is gonna sneak up behind him and tap on his shoulder like... bro that’s enough pounding for a whole month please spare these balls from deflating please do not break this device

to which your pussy agrees in unison

how are you gonna love your bub day in day out if you’re that sore

there’s nothing more frustrating than being sore and horny with byun baekhyun at your disposal

or a knocked out boyfriend trying to generate at least a sprinkle of semen after getting completely emptied in one go

probably sleeping for three days straight

alright so the harness and gag come off fast oh dear baekhyun clears those away in a heartbeat

that’s another point off the list

the more you know

carousel cringe dicking down type of dominance... bizarre, disorderly, totally erratic, not on the agenda, worst rated on bing

comrade baekhyun keeps on apologizing for making things so messy even if he tries and tries

you’re both so puzzled because you’re used to something so different and need a water chugging pause

baekhyun hasn’t sweated this hard since doing the MAMA choreography

and your pussy has never had to provide this much lubrication at once

where on earth is both of your usual stamina what happened

if a type of sex exhausts you fast and even baekhyun’s balls are suddenly moody you just know you’re wired in the opposite way

safe to say you’re better at giving and baekhyun is better at taking

leave the multidirectional powerfucking to kai or something

and being orderly to xiumin

another rug could have been knitted my friends

moving on dot org

so, you both figure to take it easier and try to go with something he usually does in passing. you know, turning a typical baekhyun habit into something you can try out casually in bed so he can tease you.

that one should work out right?

proceed: teeth action. you seated, him positioning himself above you. after your approval baekhyun pulls your hair back to expose your neck — so he can deliciously bite into it (or so was the plan).

reality: his hand gets tangled up completely.

while he’s busy nibbling and giggling about like a lil’ bunny chomping at a carrot that turns out to be extremely ticklish herself.

in fact, you start squeaking out a wonky high pitch, startling baekhyun’s fine musical ear to the bone by the obvious atonality. did she just try to outsing my vocal range with a creaking whistle note?

mariah carey would cancel you on twitter over this one

that’s how you turn a vicious, possessive bite into an eternal meme

every time either of you go for a neck kiss, you end up imitating each other. baekhyun has immortalized himself as a nervous chomping bunny and you as the vocalist anti-christ

lord have mercy

you miss your old sex life already and it’s only been two hours

cause you see... if baekhyun gives you the chance to bite him? he needs a set of long sleeves, scarves, and an extra soft pillow to sit down on for the next two days

like, no mercy bitch

you get right down to business and ravage him and do it properly until he cums in his pants

sure, the way he uses his tongue now is definitely kinda hot mind you

baekhyun is always good with his singing equipment that doesn’t suddenly change aye

and you keep your eyes closed

but with time you notice that he starts drooling and whimpering. baekhyun’s wet mouth is out there betraying him, huh.

same with your body. your reactions give you away, body language just won’t lie. you have a damn hard time staying still. you wanna do something, you wanna touch and guide baekhyun all over.

and vice versa baekhyun keeps on glitching and doing the same thing he really became a living tumblr gif now

this whole session is just so confusing and laced with all these moments of awkwardness it’s really telling you something about yourself and mister pinky toe’s ideal dynamic

baekhyun can’t even get himself to even lightly slap you properly. and when he does, his delicate hands are just so cute. it’s as if legolas came along, scented in jasmine, elegant and fabulous like it’s a l’oreal commercial

he immediately looks concerned after he manages to do it cleanly and you admit it wasn’t really that exciting a feeling yourself. it felt more like, “um ouch, and?”

needless to say, you’re weirded out if anything, baekhyun smacking and dragging you around as a cold-as-ice dom is just a strange thing to do for both of you

like even exo’s wolf era fashion was more coherent than this carrot fuckery

and those were some of the most intense turtlenecks ever

is there really nothing dominant baekhyun can pull off. come on he’s the genius idol

actually

there’s something that does work out for once

because no rule without exceptions indeed

because hey, you can learn something anyway, it’s the whole point of you going through a list of things to try as a couple

baekhyun is good at doing the more hardcore, faster kind of fingering. who would have thought, totally surprising, revolutionary i know. but that’s where you’re both agreeing hey, there’s some untapped potential you can use for the steamier evenings you have going.

cuz wow, he can get you off with flying colors.

...only to succumb to a malfunctioning bobohu wrist

even baekhyun’s boner for your legs in latex isn’t that stiff

it’s another pause until his hand loosens up again

this poor man just can’t win

and if you’re asking oi hard domming isn’t the only thing you can do

baekhyun trying to summon his inner soft dom: surprise, same old tale. here we go again.

your boyfriend thinks he generally looks way too puppy-like to be your big ole buff daddy taking care of you. oversized sweater, fluffy hair and all.

you say to him well, it’s not that doms can’t wear casual things. but it’s true that you have to feel your role and find yourself believable. regardless of your looks, in fact.

unless your partner really enjoys you dressing up as some kind of dominant hyper-archetype? looking the part is relatively unimportant if you’re absolutely made for dominance you say

pretty eye-opening moment for him

in your roleplay, he caresses and kisses you to the point, he can approach and lead you to do this or that position, don’t be mistaken. and he’s good at making presents, he’s indulging you perfectly well and actually likes doing it. but... it still ends up being more vanilla than not a few hours in. the d/s is out the door almost automatically the longer you do it.

at the end, it leaves you with a feeling of “but err, what now? give the maid outfit to charity?”

baekhyun rubs his neck in search for something else to do, both of you staring at each other with expressions blanker than kyungsoo when a prancing chanyeol is acting up.

how did the quote go again. if you scramble for inspiration, let it be?

it’s exactly that situation when baekhyun soft doms. he can hold you tight and do his thing for a while, but the chemistry of your roles is dwindling into a question mark.

in fact. there’s an uneasy silence as if great mother suho was sitting right beside you critiquing baekhyun’s sugar daddy skills

baekhyun is rich like a motherfucker and can’t even call you ‘my innocent lil’ baby girl’ without looking like he just learned a first grade tonguetwister by heart

you did play your parts with less cracking up, but you clearly tell him that there’s still something strangely clueless and “ah, awkward” (baekhyun’s verdict in response, verbatim) in between the two of you.

when you take care of baekhyun and tuck him in, you hardly run out of ideas. it just goes on and on. even when you played through an entire scene, you both come up with things to extend the scenario because it’s so much fun. you make him a hot chocolate, massage his feet, brush his hair, do some extra light bondage with a silk ribbon around his ankles to make him feel pretty, feed him pizza, have him cuddle up in your lap, pinch his ass, and do some rimming if he’s feeling a bit hornier.

the spoiling is nice at the start, but there’s something missing. you want to lead his hands and really treat him, and do it all the time, and baekhyun really finds himself craving it as well.

baekhyun soft domming quickly turns into — well just normal loving makeouts and gestures. you kiss and touch, there’s nothing hierarchical about it, nothing mega juicy or exciting.

you just don’t get into the groove, you know. there’s nothing particular happening if you try to get into those roles. it doesn’t titillate both of you for an extended period of time, it doesn’t make you curious for more. it’s like... shrug. what about it.

when you usually dominate, you know something hits home when you think about it all day. baekhyun screaming and crying with his legs twitching pops up whenever you close your freaking eyes goddamn.

you make a note to observe whether you’re going about your daily business thinking about how you could be his innocent good girl. following his every whim, making big eyes at him or something.

result: more shaky, ruined baekhyun moaning his soul out in the highest of notes and leaking cum everywhere from getting choked and his face sat on.

daddy baekhyun has simply not crossed your mind. in fact, poor guy no chance to fit in there from the get-go. his particularly whorish, extra subby counterpart is all over your brain cells with his tongue out. and you’re very tempted to grab it between your thumb and index and spit in his mouth for some very good measure. maybe cum in it as well.

um. so there’s that. the more you know.

baekhyun figures as much himself and you try the other side of the equation. oh, oh. here comes hard dom baekhyun.

who gets you on your knees and starts a wild deepthroat session while calling you names. that’s all well and good... nope. your gag reflex decides to yeet some weird coughing facial expressions and reflex cock bites at poor baekhyun who doesn’t know what’s happening. to finish him off completely, you sneeze while having a hiccup and his dick slips out.

... you both safeword at the same time.

that cleanup has scarred you both for life. what the everloving fuck. no more impulse throatfucking in this pure christian household, then.

you’ll stick to lazy, twirling, indulgent blowjobs and the usual ruined orgasms for him — the actually planned ones, jesus christ.

like seriously. you invented a whole new language with those confused gargling noises and that wasn’t french, it was advanced level klingon. baekhyun repeats asking if you’re okay and you’re still stuck realizing oh hell, that was not pretty. off the bucket list, you like sucking him off but this style just doesn’t come natural to you.

the popsicles you could train yourself with are usually gone from the freezer within a day after getting the groceries. baekhyun is wholeheartedly addicted to them.

he loves cheating on his diet since you told him his fully cheeks are your emotional support squish and kiss pillows, so.

baekhyun rightfully insists he’s better at eating pussy the wild way in the first place — and that you have no business choking on his dick like you’re on hot ones eating the world’s spiciest whatever is trending now.

or actually... baekhyun’s dick can’t be compared to a chili pepper if we’re doing a choking analogy alright. that just doesn’t fit his promotion concept. cinnamon stick is more like it.

ever saw one of these terrible cinnamon spoon videos where reckless people try to defeat god by— anyway, you’ve seen them. that’s how you looked like trying to get your mouth fucked. i think god would actually be defeated by how far away from divine elegance that was and you’re so sorry for subjecting baekhyun to this artless display.

cinnamon is still best used in small doses. say, for garnishing a creamy cake or pie y’know.

anyway. you dished up the most butchered attempt at sexy gagging in history and so, baekhyun will preach for days how he’s the one chosen by fate to push down seven big fat inches of your strap still half asleep without even blinking.

... and that his world-class operatic breath control would probably enable him to bury his face in your pussy on mount everest. baekhyun knows that every domme would sell her soul to get a sub as skilled with breathing as him.

...and that he has the official copyright for giving quality slobbery oral with quality smudged tears. as he will demonstrate to you almost daily from then on. king of messy head and going stupid with the tongue acrobatics. ugh, the noises are amazing, too. give him a grammy for his oral sounds.

gotta leave the heavy-duty work to the experts innit.

at dinner, he also poutingly brags how he can make his spit run out of his nose while he’s sucking himself through your entire dildo collection. and blow spit bubbles. and snort his own semen off his thighs and let it drop off his tongue if he’s in a particularly slutty mood. or a creampie. jeez, baekhyun, the wolf of wallstreet is strong in him. you literally have to stop him from showing off because “hey boy, i already know! i’ve seen it last week bro it was good!”

needless to say he’s talking in essays all day because he wants things go back to normal and he doesn’t have to ask twice.

for real, your candy man with the cinnamon stick has been suffering from the love bites and has to retire his cock for two days from the bruising.

mind you. the pain he can deal with. that ain’t the problem. by all means, man. he’s a fucking masochist.

it’s actually more like... submissive you has deactivated his boner and he can’t help it. it’s not you that makes him limp, it’s more like, the klingon choking and the ton of mishaps that just don’t sit right.

baekhyun feels bad about not doing well enough to make both of you have a good time as well which is lowkey heartbreaking. you have to cheer him up with ‘now repeat after me: stupid, slutty bitch’ jokes to make him chuckle at least a bit.

cuz you gotta understand, baekhyun is very ambitious to develop his talents in all areas of life. if there’s a skill he gets stuck with and he can’t work with his potential, that’s so unusual to him.

and you say man, imagine if you were some kind of uber-talented dom. that’d still not make me sneeze any less.

if you dominate him, it feels easy to do. nothing can really ruin the mood, not even when the lube runs out (baekhyun drools enough to make anything slippery okay).

except maybe when xiumin rings on landline because he left his favorite fluffy sweater in the subway and needs to vent about it. my god that’s such a tear-jerking story i’m close to sobbing. this shit could kill literally any boner.

or when your hand cramps up after shoving your fingers down his throat and in his ass for like half an hour which should be ranked first as the saddest anime betrayal of all time but it’s justifiable and you had a lot of fun beforehand.

in other words. only the things outside of your control tend to mess with your femdom business. in and of itself, nothing can kill your vibe except a dying battery obviously.

whereas you trying submission oddly spoils the atmosphere from the inside out and provides a free cringe compilation. like without even doing much, it happens automatically.

baekhyun relishes in dramatically recounting how you both looked like true clowns attempting a rendition of overexpensive, extra tangly contemporary art bondage. hell, not even employed clowns, completely retired ones, struggling to regain their tightrope tricks from summer 1912 when harry houdini was still hot shit in town.

you say oh god, that wasn’t even worth a retired clown’s skillset, clowns work damn hard man. you’d be hardpressed to find any circus artist capable of cracking a whip onto themselves baekhyun-style and moaning out loud because it was this good. seriously. that was one for the books.

if baekhyun tried to set foot in some willy-nilly maledom porn, he’d be capable of firing himself on the first day.

at the end, you just have a good laugh, man. you agree — hey, this ain’t it, but it’s good to know at least. tried and tested, been there, done that. self-whipping and carrot-nibbling and blowjob hiccups.

if you’re both so hopeless and living up to the challenge managed to upset poor mariah carey instead of giving you a hot and steamy time, you very well know where you belong. that’s a good feeling. assuring and a confidence boost for your skills. it makes up for all the clumsiness actually.

exactly because the try-out part was an entire disaster, domming baekhyun will be even more fun, you can’t see it becoming anywhere near boring. it never really was, but now you know where your strong suits are even more so. and — what to avoid, anyway.

no more unsafe practice and teddy whipping under this roof my friend

and something to incorporate more often which is baekhyun unleashing his very creative, pianoesque fingering skills on you.

you have lots of anecdotes to rile each other up as well. or, at least, tease another a bit. your high note was too legendary not to be remembered.

baekhyun will use all of these things against you in a positive way if you get what i mean. he’ll say how you being so strangely vocal made him realize just how commanding and compelling your sexy time voice is when you tell him how to kneel, how to kiss, how to revere.

and you teasing him how clumsy a dom he is makes baekhyun more self-assured in his subbing abilities. he knows for a fact you’ve not once roasted him about how well he can use his pretty mouth. cuz it’s the real deal. sloppy, skilled, and eager to please. he’s damn right about that.

hitting his toes has ruined baekhyun’s whole career as a dom and he was mad at first but he did realize that beside the clumsiness, subbing just suits him well as a principle

your experience gives you even more anticipation for all the sex you will have in the future.

you already knew what you both liked. you know it even more now, it’s underlined, it’s a big relieved yes. no more cringey “daddy, daddy, choke me please!” worship. time to make his day and sit on baekhyun’s perfect face to fuck the shit out of it.

or you know, actually land a whip on his juicy boyfriend thighs and listen to those heavenly loud reactions in a dead-on pitch (he usually moans in C minor).

long story short and cinnamon sticks aside. it’s even more fun now. you just love your cute subby boy just as he is. he doesn’t have to try to be anything else or step up his game. he’s so ideal just doing what he does like a real angel.

more subby stuff: m.list + ao3

↳⎡FINAL NOTE⎦i love writing crack lmao i hope you were rolling on the floor like i did 😂 write me your favorite part in the comments so we can laugh again and buy me a ko-fi if you wanna 👍

#baekhyun smut #baekhyun #exo smut #exo #baekhyun x reader #baekhyun hc #sub!baekhyun #baekhyun crack #exo crack #dom!baekhyun #baekhyun headcanon #sub!exo #baekhyun bullet points #exo hc #exo headcanons

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of-course-i-dont-love-him · 8 years ago

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I’m Not My Parents(Hugo Weasley)

Request: So half the things I request are never published or never tagged or something. But can you do a Hugo Weasley x reader (if you don't do next gen then James Potter) where he finally, after lots of convincing, got his girlfriend (or bf) to visit his family over Christmas break. And because they're the child of an ex-death eater they kinda insult her(him). And so Hugo goes to comfort her (s)he runs off and they see them both asleep all cuddly and stuff and the family kinda accepts it. Fluff.

A/N: Shoutout to @katie27hp for first of all requesting this and then secondly giving me a wonderful description of Hugo. 💚 I don’t know much about Hugo Weasley, obviously, so it may not be how you expect it. And because this is me making my own interpretations, reader and Hugo are in Hufflepuff. Deal with it. Sorry in advance for any and all typos/errors.

Y/N~ your name L/N~ last name M/N~ mum/mom’s name D/N~ dad’s name

“Oh, come on, Y/N. My parents would love to have you over for Christmas,” Hugo pressed. You looked up from your book to see your boyfriend of two years giving you puppy-dog eyes. He wrapped his arms tightly around you. “I dunno... They probably won’t like me,” you sighed. “Why would you think that?” He curiously asked. You look away a bit. “Y/N if you think it’s because your parents were Death Eaters, you’re wrong.” You look back at him and smile. He grins a goofy grin. His yellow tie was loose and poorly tied. You leaned back a bit and adjusted his tie to make him more presentable. “You’re adorable,” he chuckled. “Thanks,” you blushed. “Hey, how about we go study for the Charms exam?” “Okay,” he sighed. You walked to the library, hand in hand, talking about Charms, but you knew in the back of your mind that Hugo wouldn’t let it go.

Throughout the next few months, Hugo continued to bring up Christmas break. You could tell he was just waiting for you to finally say yes. But he was also a bit impatient. And stubborn. “What’ll it take to convince you to come stay? Even just for a day?” He begged one night a couple weeks before the semester was over. You sighed. “Hugo...” You start, reaching for a book on a tall shelf. He easily reaches up and grabs it for you. You mutter thanks. “Look, I’m thinking about it,” you say. His eyes light up. “Really? You’re not kidding me?” He asks. “That’s not a yes,” you warn. “Yet. It’s not a yes, yet. And it’s still not a no.” He grins before pecking you on the lips. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever,” you say, rolling your eyes. The truth was, you had to ask your parents. That was twice as scary as actually staying over break. You’d written them the other day and knew it’d probably take at least a couple more days for them to decide and write back. Seeing as your parents were on opposite sides of the war as Hugo’s parents, you almost knew the answer would be a no. You hated letting Hugo get his hopes up that maybe you’d say yes. Genuinely, you would after seeing how excited he was.

It was a week later when you got the letter from your parents. The final yes or no. The envelope landed by your breakfast when Hugo was telling you a story about something. He was really into it, using hand movements to better express himself. Watching him, he looked very cute. He was usually quieter and wouldn’t draw much attention to himself. You slipped the letter into your bag without him noticing and smiled as he clearly altered the story.

Later, you were alone in your dorm and pulled out the letter.

Dear Y/N, We understand you would like to spend time with your boyfriend over break. After much discussion and careful consideration, we have decided that for the first week of break you can stay with Hugo and his family. A letter every day must be sent in order to assure us of your safety. We expect you to find your own way to get home, however. Sincerely, M/N and D/N

You stared at the letter. Then you reread it. And then again. Running out of your dorm to the Common Room, you almost left the letter in your room. You found Hugo in front of a fire, drinking hot cocoa. Calming yourself, you sat down on the couch next to him. He smiled at you before handing you the cup. You took a sip and handed it back to him. “What’s up?” He asked. “Wrong question,” you said. His eyebrows furrowed together. “What?” “Wrong question,” you repeated. “What are you talking about?” “Still not the right question.” “Y/N, what’s going on?” He questioned. You shook your head. “Wha... Give me a hint.” “You wouldn’t stop bugging me about this. For, like, days on end,” you explained. He looked at you for a minute before realizing. “Wait... Are you... Are you serious?” He asked. You handed him the letter you’d received. He read it. Once. Twice. Three times. The fourth time you ripped it out of his hands. “Yes! Yes! I’m saying yes!” You exclaimed. A few people looked over at you curiously. You giggled as Hugo enveloped you in a hug.

The entire ride to Kings Cross you can’t stop fidgeting. First, you were messing with the page of the book you were attempting to read, then you were playing with the window lock. It was when you started twisting and ruffling your skirt that Hugo grabbed your hands and stopped you. “Relax. It’s alright. My parents will love you,” he assured. You glanced up at him nervously. “And what if they don't?” You asked. “Then screw them! Y/N, I love you and there’s nothing they can do to change that,” he exclaimed. You blushed at his words. “Okay... Okay...” You took a deep breath and sighed. “Okay...”

When the train pulled into the station you knew your parents wouldn’t be there since Hugo’s parents were taking you to their house. Your nerves spiked up again. First, you saw his mum, Hermione, standing tall in her dark suit. Her hair pulled back into a perfect bun. She’s not intimidating at all, you thought, sarcastically. Then there was Hugo’s dad, Ron. He looked exactly like an older Hugo with redder hair. Something about him seemed soft and kind until he looked over at you and you could see the judgment in his eyes. The least observant person would notice the way he seemed to question your morality. “So, mum, dad. This is my girlfriend, Y/N,” Hugo introduced, almost as nervous as you. “Hi,” you greeted. Hermione held her hand out and you copied, shaking her hand. “Hello, dear,” she said with a smile. Ron glanced at you, questioningly. He slowly held his hand out and you took it in an awkward handshake. “Yes, nice to meet you,” he said after a moment. He seemed to think you were going to blast him or something. Hugo’s sister, Rose, walked up with a smile on her face until she saw you. She seemed to turn her nose up in disgust. “Oh. Hey, Y/N,” she said, unenthusiastically. Then she turned her back to you and completely ignored you. Your head fell a little, discouraged. Hugo took your hand and comforted you. “It’s okay, she just doesn’t know you, yet,” he whispered, leaning close to press a kiss to the side of your head. You smiled at him, but were still nervous. Hugo kept a hold of your hand as you walked with his family. They stopped to talk with Harry Potter and Ginny. Their kids were close by. You tried to hide behind Hugo a bit, hoping they wouldn’t notice you, but of course, Albus Severus did. “Hi, Y/N! What’re your plans for the holiday?” He asked, bringing the attention to you. You slowly stood next to Hugo so everyone could see you. They all seemed to be waiting fro your response. “I’m staying with the Granger-Weasleys for a week, but that’s it,” you answered, quietly. “What’s your name?” Harry asked after a moment. “Y/N L/N,” you answered, looking away. Harry and Ginny had shocked faces, James Sirius looked at you with confusion and the same questioning look that Ron had given you. Lily Luna watched to see what you’d do, but didn’t seem to think you were going to kill everyone. Albus smiled at you. A real, genuine, encouraging smile. After several moments of awkward silence--which felt like ages--somebody finally mumbled something and the topic of conversation shifted. “Oh! Look at the time! We’ll have to get going before we’re late,” Ginny said, checking her watch. The group dispersed as the Potters went one way and you went with the Granger-Weasleys in the opposite direction.

The car ride to their house was quiet and awkward. A tension seemed to settle in the air that you knew was only present because of you. When you got to their house Ron levitated your stuff out of the trunk of the car into the house. They had a nice-sized house on the outskirts of a village. Neighbors were spread out and a woodsy area covered the land behind the house. “There’s a clearing in the woods where we can practice quidditch without being seen,” Hugo told you as you followed him into the house. “That’s cool. I imagine your dad takes you out there a lot?” You assume. “Yeah,” he chuckles. “Everyday when we were younger.” “We’ve set up an extra bed in Rose’s room for Y/N to use while she stays here,” Hermione says to you and Hugo. “Of course, Mrs. Weasley,” you said with a polite nod. She smiled at you. Maybe she would like you after all. Hugo tried to hide the grin spreading across his face. She nodded at left to the kitchen. “Wait, you’re making her share a room with me?” Rose asks, upset. You look away. “Is there a problem?” Hermione counters. Rose scoffs and glares at you. Hugo tugs your hand and leads you upstairs. You sit on his bed with him. He kisses the side of your head. “You okay?” “I dunno,” you mumble, too quietly to be heard. “What?” He asks, softly. His head gently knocks against yours. “I dunno...” You say a bit louder. “How can you not know if you’re okay?” He jokes. “I dunno...” You repeat, rolling your eyes. “But seriously, are you okay?” “I’m perfect as long as I have you,” you answer after a moment. Hugo looks at you seriously for a moment. “What?” You ask. “That’s really sweet,” he says, hugging you tighter. “Hugo! . . . I can’t breathe!” You yelp. His grip on you loosens a bit, but not much.

Over the next couple days Rose glared at you and said rude things under her breath, Ron cautiously watched you, Hermione mostly ignored your existence, and Hugo continuously reassured you that they didn't hate you. On the third day you were staying at the Weasleys’, you all went to Hugo’s grandparents’ house. Almost all of Hugo’s aunts, uncles, and cousins were at the house along with a few family friends. Everyone gave you weird looks. With the exception of Scorpius and Albus. But people were giving Scorpius weirds looks, too, so that wasn't that reassuring. You were about to walk into the kitchen when you overheard your name. “What is Hugo doing, hanging out with Y/N?” Someone asked. “I truly don’t know. If he were smart he’d stop. It makes our family look bad that he’s dating a death-eaters child.” That was definitely Rose. “And Albus is always with Scorpius. People might start to think we agreed with Voldemorts stupid plan.” Someone else said. “I think Y/N’s just tricking Hugo. Making him fall in love and do something horrible to him.” “Like what?” “I dunno. Maybe kidnap him for ransom. Maybe get him to believe in all that blood purity crap.” “I’ll bet Y/N’ll blow up the house while everybody’s sleeping.” “I think Y/N isn’t going to doing anything extravagant except break his heart.” You backed away from the doorway as they continued to come up with horrible things they thought you might do. Hugo came down the stairs and saw your horrified face. “What’s wrong?” He asked, stepping closer to you. You backed away from him before running out the front door. You didn’t know where to run to, so you went to the makeshift quidditch pitch and hid behind the broom shed. When you sat down with your back against the wall you couldn’t take it anymore. You broke down. After a minute or two, Hugo found you crying. “Hey, hey, hey. It’s okay,” he said, sitting next to you and pulling you close to him. “Shh...shh...it’s okay,” he mumbled as sobs wracked your body. “What’s wrong?” You start to tell him what's wrong, but you just sob more. You hide your face in his shoulder to muffle your cries. He lets you cry it out and calmly waits for you to stop crying. “Your...your cousins were t-talking about m-me...” You start. Hugo watches you with all his attention. “Th-they said they think I’m just tricking you and I'm gonna... g-gonna k-kill... k-kill you in y-your sleep or br-break your heart... They think I believe the d-dumb blood-purity s-stuff.” “Oh, my... I’m gonna kill them all. I... Look, Y/N. I thought they would at least give you a chance. I’m so sorry. I know you’re not like that, okay? Y/N I... I thought if they’d at least give you a chance, they’d love you... Not as much as I love you, though.” You look up at Hugo, who was watching you anxiously. You press a gentle kiss to his lips. “I love you, too,” you mumble against his lips. He smiles as he kisses you again. “We should go back now, probably,” he says. “Dinner will be ready soon.” “Can we stay here for a bit?” You ask, wrapping your arms around him to cuddle. “Of course.” His arms pull you closer to him and you both slowly fall asleep.

“Hugo? Where you at? Hugo?” Ron and Hermione called. They walked together out to the quidditch pitch. “Hugo?” They were about to head back to the house and look somewhere else when Hermione noticed something had stomped down some weeds by the broom shed. “Wait, Ron?” Hermione said. “What?” Ron asked, turning back around. “I think someone’s been back here,” she says, walking towards the back of the shed. Ron followed her. They saw Y/N and Hugo, cuddled together, asleep. Hermione’s face was unreadable, but Ron seemed almost disgusted at first. A smile slowly spread across Hermione’s face and Ron couldn’t help but enjoy how happy his son looked. “I guess we’re just going to have to accept the fact that Y/N’s staying around for a while, aren’t we?” Ron said, eventually. “We?” Hermione questioned. “Yeah, you know, me and Rose.” Hermione laughed and rolled her eyes. “Guess we’ll just leave them be for now,” she said before walking back towards the house. Ron stared at his son for a moment. Then Y/N. He sighed before joining Hermione in the walk back to the house.

#hugo granger-weasley #hugo x reader #weasley #granger #oneshot #hufflepuff #reader insert #hp #hp oneshot #death eater #fluff #katie27hp #requested #next gen #charms #hogwarts #christmas

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3one3 · 8 years ago

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Okay Sunday update tyme.

There may or may not have been a mini war over making my coffee this morning. I'm not really sure. All I know is the one I got was made by the Babysitter and not very good.

Then there was a baby. This nice couple that comes in often arrived with their maybe 16 mo son, who the Babysitter always holds and stuff. He lets him play with the touch-screen. Some people just really love babies. They see a baby and they get heart eyes and are like oo a baby how ~cute~ lemme go see it! I’m not one of them. I’m mostly afraid of and/or grossed out by babies. The Pacifier definitely got the baby gene. He was DELIGHTED by the baby. Instant, yuge smile. He went over to see him, and tickled his tummy and stuff, and I was like wow, he’s more interested in touching a baby than me, that hurts. Way to cut me deep. It was still really cute to see him be delighted by the baby tho. I def got THAT gene. The “guys being cute with kids directly affects ovaries” gene.

Then the piña colada party started. They're not on the menu. I guess someone bought a big bottle of Cooco Real, the coconut cream stuff that makes piña coladas delicious at 900 calories per sip, but not really because it’s not as good as the thick stuff that comes in a can. They also don't have anything else blended on the menu but they do have a blender. Out comes this blender. The Pacifier and the Brother are practically giddy about this, and are verifying with the Babysitter what to put in it. He takes over anyway. Pacifier suggests using Malibu coconut rum and Babysitter is like no you use the regular clear rum rawr. They're actually both wrong. You should use a good quality white rum, yeah, but you should also use a really good dark rum. But that's if you have good quality coconut cream, which they didn't. It should have coconut milk too, and some lime, but I didn’t want to lecture the bartenders on how to bartend, ya know? Just cause I’ve been a piña colada enthusiast since age 6 doesn’t mean I’m an authority.

Babysitter makes the first batch and tries to pour some in this little coupe glass which is all wrong for that. How do you put a full size straw in a coupe glass? You don't. Anyway. It also won't pour. It's too solid. Like sorbet. I was like "it's supposed to be a liquid, not a dessert". Pacifier chuckles at this and I'm like oooo score. Pacifier goes and gets a cherry for it and everything and they taste some and give it to me to taste, and they both said it's not sweet enough, and I said IT NEEDS MALIBU, and the Pacifier is like IT NEEDS MALIBU, and it becomes clear at this point that the Babysitter has never had Malibu and doesn't know its awesomeness. Side note: my favorite whatever drink is Malibu and pineapple juice. I didn't even know they had Malibu at this bar until last week because no one uses it for anything but the Pacifier and I happened to see him grab it from below the bar and pour some. I always wondered why there is none on the shelf with everything else. Anyway. Moving on.

A second batch is made, with Malibu, and offered around to everyone to try. It's much better. Babysitter still can't pour it tho and Pacifier and I are watching him try and I look at him and shake my head and he starts cracking up and I melt inside. Making someone you want to be friends with laugh with you like a normal reason rather than awkwardly laugh for no apparent reason every time you talk to him is just the best. They decide it can go on the menu for the day. I told the Babysitter not to serve it in that stupid glass but he insisted. He said hey could use the cocktail straws. I was like wtf how can you sip an already too thick piña colada through a fucking cocktail straw??? And he just laughed. Another guy decided the solution was to just cut the regular straws in half 🤷🏼‍♀️

I still had the whole first example to drink myself, plus some of the new and improved one. I really don't drink anymore, so that was enough to count as liquid courage I guess. It brightened by whole day. I was in a good mood. I decided it was to be a day of progress on the communication front. But then naturally the place got crazy busy and the Pacifier was running around at Mach V doing his job. I seriously can’t bring myself to bother him when he’s busy.

I waited until things calmed down considerably and did my standard I'm-about-to-be-annoying-but-at-least-I'm-sweet-about-it way of saying his name (this has gotten males of all age and association to do things for me forever) as he was walking behind me, and he leaned in beside me and said "yes? ma'am" and I wanted to end myself right then and there. You can't ask a girl to hang out one weekend and then call her ma'am the next. It's bloody criminal. I decided it wasn't serious tho. He called the Babysitter sir earlier. I call my officemate ma'am all the time, non-seriously, like when she brings my trash can in from the hallway and I say thank you, ma’am. But anyway it ruined the whole plan it took me an hour to decide on. I was going to summon him and then be like "you know what I want *wink wink*" bc obvi I wanted a coffee and he would know that. Ma'am threw me off tho. And then he didn't give me a chance to ask a question anyway. He asked me if I wanted another one and I was like yesssss pleaaaaase. It was delicious and I was thankful. I wanted to tell him that he’s my favorite person on the planet on saturdays and sundays and that when I work those mornings the only reason I get out of bed is that I know I get to have that cappuccino after. He’s too quick. Or I’m too slow. Or something.

Now here's where shit gets cray. One of my clients and I have been looking at this horse for a while. We checked him out years ago when he had a different owner, and liked him but not for the price. Now his current owners put him up for private auction over the weekend and we were like, well if we can get him for X then it’s a no brainer and if we can get him for Y it would probably be worth it, but no more, and I did the homework on the other people I knew might be interested and so I thought it was possible that we could get him for that. But we weren't fully sold on him. I usually feel strongly one way or another on whether to get a horse, particularly at a certain price point. I was like, we could do this, and it would be great, or we could not do it, and I probably won't kick myself over it tomorrow.

With 90 mins left on the sale clock, and an "it's up to you" order from the client, which I had been waiting for for most of the day, I decide that the best way to decide is to let the Pacifier choose 😂 I had a good reason though! The horse's name is one letter off being Cappuccino! It's a sign! I'll show him the video of the horse on my phone and ask him what I should do. It’s genius. I summon the Pacifier, who had to be wondering just how much cappuccino I can drink in one day, since that's all I ever summon him for. I immediately panic that the friend I was texting literally *about him* and practically nothing else and who hadn't answered me in over an hour would decide that was the right time to reply, and that she'd say something totally incriminating exactly as he was looking at my phone. It was too late to tell her to shh tho bc he was already incoming, and I couldn't do airplane mode bc I needed wifi to show him the Video. It went like this.

"Are you superstitious?" (I'm thinking, what if he doesn't know what that means?)

~message from friend about how the babysitter is definitely cockblocking drops down from top of screen along with two others BECAUSE OF FUCKING COURSE and I desperately will her to stfu~

"No. "

"Well I'm very superstitious and I need your help. There's this horse. See the video of the nice horse?" I held the phone so he could barely see it, just in case. "I have an hour and a half to decide if I should get it for a client and I don't know what to do. I'm fine either way. I’m totally 50/50 on it. I could flip a coin. But the horse's name is Cappuccino (it would have been too hard to explain the one letter difference and I talk really fast when I'm nervous and it gets hard for people to understand and meh whatever) and you're my cappuccino guy so I need you to tell me what to do."

"Then you should go for it!" He says, laughing. It was sort of like a comfortable laugh too, not the awkward one.

"You think so?"

"Yeah! Go for it!" At this point I'm just loving the carefree gung ho attitude here.

I told him okay I'm gonna do it, and I warned him that I'm blaming him if the horse ends up being terrible. He was just smiley and laughing and stuff.

And that's how i bought a $400,000 horse on the cappuccino guy's say so. Did I mention I forgot to mention to him how much the horse costs? 🙊 He might be one of those people who thinks even competition horses are peanuts. He probably has no idea. He might not have even understood what I was saying. He could have thought I was talking about betting on the horse or something. I have no idea. He was just all for it.

I get really high when I do big deals. Like so pumped. I called the client and said to do it. And I was like shaking and grinning and stupid. Hopefully it was the horse and not just the interaction 🤦🏼‍♀️

I left a little while after that. On the way out when he was saying bye to me I reminded him that he's in big trouble if the horse is crap, and he was all smiles.

I find out for sure tomorrow morning if our bid was definitely accepted, but I saw no others come in after so it prob was. Lawd help me if this doesn't work out well 🙈🙈🙈

Then I went running and got sunburn bc it was earlier than I wanted to go but I was too hyped to sit still, then I saw one of the guys from the restaurant on the way to where I run, and he was on a bike share bike outside mcdonalds in work clothes but not the ones he was in earlier and I was like wtf and also please don't notice me in my terrible running outfit.

Then I got some really upsetting texts from bf about all this 😕

Then I had some food and prepped some stuff for my lunches and then I worked out bc the high hadn't gone away yet and ya gotta use it while it's there. Haven't managed to figure out how to use it to fix the bf thing tho.

But, consider yourself updated.

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