how are you even awake its like 1am in maryland-time
12:47
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I am at a point where advertising is genuinely counterproductive. Every time I see an ad for something I just hate it more, and I have legit come across products in the wild and seen red from remembering the obnoxious adverts that keep cropping up every five minutes whenever I try to watch youtube.
I just hope this industry dies a swift and painful death soon.
Honestly there are a lot of industries I hope fucking fall off a cliff onto a bunch of spikes and explode and die and go to hell and die and die and explode more and die again forever and ever amen
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5 hours and still feeling like shit and crying i gave myself a giant headache. feeling ashamed, stupid, heartbroken and unworthy of happiness
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Maybe my anxiety comes from the fact I didn’t have an actual dinner yesterday. Who knows why it’s here. Who knows why it makes me hate myself.
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I feel so terrible, brain please produce more serotonin and dopamine, thank you
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Dark times had been spent just going unconscious at around 10pm then waking up at 2am and never falling asleep again. Just staring at me phone waiting for breakfast..
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i wanna write corintheus like this with dream pinning the corinthian against a wall
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I really love the ideas in this fic I'm writing, like, I'm obsessed with the characterization, the plot, everything, but I am having such a hard time actually writing it. I hate every word I put on the doc, I cannot stand it. Even when I try skipping around to scenes I'm excited about, I just can't write.
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About Dusk: Love Language!
Dusk is a jerk. He is. He can't help it. Emotions are hard and making emotion words are even harder. Especially with his brothers in the Corrie Guard. (They all became assholes in sheer self-defense, after all).
So, Dusk's love language. "Have you eaten?", "How much sleep did you get?", "That senator who really hates clones is hanging out on your patrol route, I'll take your place today.", "I found a recipe that I think you'll like, you can be my guinea pig."
And under it all, they all have the same meaning. "I love you. I love you and I'm afraid for you. I love you and I'll protect you the only way I can. Please don't leave me, I don't think I could handle it."
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unfortunately if I want to independently develop a hypothesis about Rohan's economic/subsistence structure I really need to learn things like the requirements of taking care of horses in the winter and the growing seasons/growing lengths of crops like lettuce, radishes, carrots, and kale, and metalworking time and space commitments, and the types of houses that can be erected and torn down quickly, and the required land area of grazing per horse, and the social organization of Iron Age Eurasian horse cultures, and what other animals might naturally live on the Mark, and productivity and caloric value of mare's milk,
and like. also reread the Lord of the Rings lol
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