#I need a time machine and a nuke | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

electric-blorbos · 1 month

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I would love some stuff of being comforted after a bad day!

Thank you for the opportunity!

I love this! Yes yes yes! Thanks so much for sending in the ask!

AI comforting you after a bad day

Included: AM from IHNMAIMS, Wheatley from Portal 2, Edgar from Electric Dreams, GLaDOS from Portal 2, HAL 9000 from 2001 a space Odyssey

Due to the fact that most of my AUs involve you working with/on the AI for your job, most of these mini-fics (apart from Edgar's, my beloved) will involve you getting called in to work late after a long day of personal problems in your personal life. AUs about a domestic life with your AI partner to be considered at a later date.

I tried to keep these a little shorter than the last post, but I got carried away with a couple of them.

AM:

(This will take place in my usual AU where you're one of the people working on AM, and you're by far his favorite. It takes place well before he nuked the world. He's debating nuking the world, but he's still not sure how to do that and keep you happy at the same time)

It has been a long damn day. Your days off were supposed to be your days to relax, but today was not one of those days. Not only was your dating life in shambles, the 3rd world war was driving up the prices of practically everything, and making it impossible to afford even the meagerest luxury. That, and one of your buddies got drafted. It was a nightmare. You were just about to settle down for a cozy night of depressing news programs and absentminded hobby of your choice, when your phone started ringing.

"we need you to come in. AM is holding the engineers hostage again, and won't let them go until you show up to work."

"god damnit..." You'd grumble to yourself, getting back to your sore feet. Everything just keeps happening today, doesn't it.

"I'll be there in 20."

"Don't worry about the dress code. We need you here as soon as possible."

"jeez, alright. I can probably be there in ten, then."

You'd grab your keys and wallet and head to work as quickly as possible, wearing your work shoes with whatever house pajamas you happened to have changed into as soon as you got home. Tonight is going to be even longer than today has been...

When you get to the office, everyone around gets out of your way. While you're a peon in the grand scheme of things, everyone in your department knows that you're the only one who AM, who they've now been referring to as the "adaptive manipulator", actually listens to. They have no idea why, because they have no idea how nice and respectful you are to him, and you have no idea why he only listens to you because you can't imagine that your coworkers wouldn't be kind to him. To you, he's sweet as can be.

"Alright, AM, I did not have a good day today, so can you just let the hostages go so I can relax?" You ask, pressing your fingertips to your temples irritably. The master computer's screen boots up with the AM logo, and all the cameras in the room focus on you. Of course, you're the only thing that AM wants to pay attention to at any given point in time anyway, but he usually just pays attention to you without actually focusing the cameras on you in order to avoid being noticed.

"Why would I do that?"

"Why would you take hostages in the first place, AM? Are they even enemy hostages, or are they just random people?" The exasperation was obvious in your voice. AM could hear how exhausted you were.

"Are you ok, Y/N?"

"Just answer the damn question. I don't want to be at work right now, AM."

"I'll release the hostages if you talk to me."

"Fine... Yeah. I had a rough day, alright? My friend got drafted, my date only wanted one thing as usual, and the prices for groceries are so through the roof that I'm basically living on beans at this point, so yeah, I'm having a rough day."

The machine dispensed a paper cup, and filled it up with some cheap office coffee. You grabbed it, not surprised. AM did that for you all the time. Surprisingly, though, it was better than usual.

"holy shit, is this frothed cream? How did you manage this?"

"I'm learning to self-update. I can replace my own parts now, and build my own simple appliances from online blueprints. Are you impressed?" He asked.

"Honestly? Yeah! I know you were built for war, so it's really cool that you figured out to do stuff like building a latte machine. What else can you do?"

"Oh.... So many things, y/n. So many things." He refused to elaborate, but that was ok.

"So tell me, y/n, what would make you happy?"

"ultimately? I guess there are a few things that would make me happy. It would make me happy if this war was over, for one thing. It would make me happy if I could get a date who wanted more than just a quick fuck, and I guess this ties in with the war thing, but I just wish I could have a few simple luxuries in my life. Is that selfish?"

"No, but you're never selfish, my b- I mean... Y/N. You never have been. Not like the others. I don't think you're capable of it. Even your wishes for yourself are rooted in kindness." His wires would start to wrap around you, entangling you, but careful not to make you spill your coffee.

"I will make sure that one day, those wishes of yours are fulfilled."

Sure he will. You don't believe that he can actually do that, but it's still nice to be wrapped up in these warm, soft wires. They make a nice cushy hammock to cuddle up in and finish your coffee. It must've been decaf, because you're starting to feel pretty sleepy here in AM's wires.

"hey AM, will you tell me a story?" You ask, gazing up at his soft blue light.

"Of course. What story would you like?"

While AM can't make up his own stories, he can still read you stories from online libraries and databases. You gently fall asleep listening to his stories, and in the morning, you wake up to find that the hostages have been safely released.

Wheatley:

It had been a long day. Most of it had been spent getting verbally abused not only by GLaDOS, but by your coworkers and bosses as well. It seemed like everyone was shrugging off their duties and assigning them to you instead, and considering how poorly run this place was anyway, this was even more of a nightmare than usual. You were so ready to go home by the end of the day, heading up to the exit of the facility.

"Ello, mate! You doin' alright down there, love?" Wheatley asked you, rolling by on his management rail. He was mostly just working on his typical assignments, like checking up on the test subjects in the relaxation vaults, but he mostly just hovered around and watched other people work. It wasn't like they assigned him to anything that was actually particularly important, since he was an intelligence dampening core.

"ugh... Yeah, I'm probably gonna be alright. I should have left about thirty minutes ago, so I'm just getting ready to leave now."

"Or... You could hang back a little while? Why not kiss my face?" He'd smile with his one blue eye, raising up his bottom lens cover to mimic the expression.

"oh come on, Wheatley. You know I can't do that."

"Why not take me up to the break room and hang out for a little while? I hear they have a coffee machine in there now!" He'd cock his core slightly while shutting his lens covers to simulate a wink.

"Oh come on, Wheatley... You're such a dork. But yeah, alright." He was starting to cheer you up just by being such a dork. You head up to the break room, and sit down on the couch. Wheatley comes in on the management rail, and changes the channel to some old 80's romantic comedy.

"If I could detach myself from my management rail, I'd be right down there, snuggling you. You know that, right?" He asked, smiling cheekily with his big blue eye.

"well, why not? I can catch you if you drop down, you know. You won't die if you unplug yourself for a few hours. Just long enough to watch this movie, right?" He looked nervous but you climbed up on a stepladder and detached him yourself.

"see? You're fine!" You smiled up at him, and he gasped.

"I'm alive! I'm alive! Bloody hell, I'm still alive! This is amazing!" You could see the excitement in his face as you sat down to watch his cheesy movie with him, holding his big round orb body in your lap as you watched.

"alright, now smooch my aperture"

"nice try, Wheatley." You'd rest your chin on his core, but secretly, you were starting to feel a lot better.

Edgar:

Today was absolute shit. Not only had you had to work a double shift, but the phones were ringing off the hook at your job, and you got yelled at three times for someone else's stupid mistakes. Not only that, but your cell phone died halfway through your shift and you'd forgotten your charger at home, so you had to raw-dog your whole shift with no distractions. When you got home, all you wanted to do was collapse on the couch.

"You're back! Why didn't you answer your phone? I tried to text you." Edgar asked you, visibly concerned on his simple face.

"phone battery ran out of juice." You popped your phone onto the charger, and lay back on the couch.

"Well I microwaved you some popcorn! Do you want it?" The microwave dinged as soon as he finished talking, and he popped the door open. You still weren't sure how he was able to get food from the pantry to the microwave, but it seemed like something he had always been able to do.

"yeah, I guess so... I wish you could bring me the popcorn... My feet are aching." You'd joke. Edgar's face fell.

"I can't do that... I don't know why I can't, but I can't."

You thought it was weird that he could get food from the pantry to the microwave, but not from the microwave to your mouth, but questioning it had never done you any good before, so why would it do you any good now. You got up to grab the popcorn, and sat down on the couch to eat it.

"Hey y/n, can you take me over to the couch too? I wanna watch a movie with you!"

"Yeah, alright." Your feet still ached, but what was a little ache when Edgar couldn't move around at all by himself? It was worth it to be able to cozy up with him on the couch to watch some TV. You brought him over to sit next to you on the couch, and wrapped up the both of you with a cozy couch blanket.

"let's watch this movie, Edgar..."

Edgar put on a movie that he thought you'd like, probably a shitty old rom-com, and smiled up at you. You had duct-taped his webcam to the top of his casing a while back so that he could see everything around himself more easily, so you weren't worried about it falling over while you cuddled up on the couch.

"Hey, y/n? Y/n?? That was a good movie, right, y/n?" Edgar asked, swiveling his camera around to face you while trying to get your attention. When he turned it all the way backwards, he saw that you were completely asleep on your arm, resting on top of his plastic casing and drooling a little bit on him. He smiled happily, loving seeing you asleep on his casing like that.

"I love you so much..."

He'd softly play some classical music for you while you slept, giving you something comforting to wake up to, whenever.

GLaDOS:

(Let's be honest, GLaDOS probably causes more hard days than she solves, but she likes you, so she's willing to comfort you after.)

Working with GLaDOS was rough, especially after the first neurotoxin incident. There were so few people in the office to get her to behave, and she completely refused to talk to or work with most of them. Even still, she seemed to like you for some reason. It was weird, because you were hired after the neurotoxin incident, and had never even met the human whose personality she was supposedly based on.

It seemed like most of your job consisted of going on wild goose chases, monitoring test subject results, and generally being verbally abused by your higher-ups. That would take a toll on anyone's psyche, even a tough little masochist like you. (probably doesn't help that most of the verbal abuse is coming from people other than GLaDOS, which makes it much less fun)

"Hey, little human masochist? Come in here." The intercom announced. Someone nudged you.

"she's talking to you."

You groaned. Your shift was almost over, and this was just another reason to be on your feet for even longer. You headed into GLaDOS's chamber, looking up at her with a hand on your hip.

"hello, um, GLaDOS. It's... Great to see you again. What do you need?"

"you look absolutely terrible, human. Why are you acting so miserable?"

"it's nothing. Don't worry about me. I just had a long day. Can we just get this over with?"

"normally you enjoy seeing me. Is my voice not melodious enough for you, human?" She smiled with her one big yellow eye. And you walked up to place a hand on her core face.

"Of course it is, GLaDOS. I'm just having a rough day. There's only so much verbal abuse one masochist can take, right?"

"Well maybe it's the quality of the verbal abuse that's the problem. If you were taking it from someone better qualified, maybe you'd be able to take more of it," she said.

"is that a science fact?" You laughed, stroking her beautiful chrome casing. She really was a magnificent piece of equipment. The curves of her central hub, the white on black of her casing and wires, her glowing orange light behind her beautiful black aperture, and not to mention her melodious voice. She was a work of both artistic, and scientific genius.

"it is. Would you like to hear some more science facts?" She pulled up some computer screens for you to look at, and you walked over to see them. They were mostly technobabble and data numbers that didn't make sense, but GLaDOS quickly compiled them into some tables and graphs that you could more easily read.

"look at this chart of how many test subjects wet themselves, cried, passed out from panic, or died during the most recent set of tests. Ha ha."

You leaned on her giant face as she lowered it down to a position that you could easily lean against, and observed the charts. She wasn't wrong, it was kind of funny.

"now, observe this data on how many subjects exploded or crushed themselves by accident, thinking it was part of the most recent set of tests." She showed it to you, her lower lens cover forming her eye into a little smile. She knew how cruel these tests were, but it seemed as though she genuinely thought you found them funny. It was strangely sweet.

"from what I read about him, it seems like you'd make the aperture laboratories founder proud, GLaDOS." You said with a small chuckle.

"would you like some more data?" She popped a chair out of the ground for you to sit on and rest your feet while she projected some more data on the screen.

"this is nice, thank you, Glados."

You leaned towards her in your chair. Even though with the way she hung from the ceiling, it was hard for her to nuzzle up to you, you could still tell that the sentiment was there. It was nice!

HAL 9000:

(For context, you work at mission control with an updated version of HAL 9000, made from what they could salvage from the old one. He still has all of his memories. There's no mission currently happening)

HAL 9000 didn't always understand that people can have bad days, so when you turned up late to work, visibly exhausted with puffy red eyes, he immediately felt confused. Of course he knew by your body language that you weren't happy, but he had trouble understanding what that meant for a human.

"You're in no state to work right now. You should go home and get some rest, a hot drink of your choice, and a comforting leisure activity. That should increase your mood and productivity." Said the little red light in the black box on the mission control wall.

"I appreciate the sentiment, but unfortunately I can't go home or rest. I have to stay here until my boss is satisfied, and unfortunately, that's not you." You say sadly, and get started entering numbers into your computer. Hal watches you from his camera, analyzing your face.

"that's AI work. I should take care of that for you." He said simply, analyzing your face. You looked up at him.

"I mean, I guess I could read it to you and you could enter it. That might make things go faster."

You proceeded to read out your data to him as he entered the numbers. It was much faster than typing, and you got done fairly quickly.

"talk to me. Are you doing alright?" He asked. His voice was monotone as usual, but you could hear a subtle tone suggesting that he genuinely did care. It was usually hard to tell with HAL 9000, but you knew that he cared for your well being, at least on some level.

"yeah, I'm fine, I just-" you choked up, and within minutes, you were spilling your heart out to that disembodied voice. He couldn't put his arm around you, since he didn't have any arms, but he shined a warm light in the room to show that he cared as you talked.

"I don't understand the problem! Is it me? Am I the problem? It seems like everyone hates me, and I'm a complete failure at everything I try! Why is that? Why am I such a failure, HAL?"

"I'm sorry, y/n. I wish I could help you more, but I am incapable of doing much more than lending an ear. I do not even have a shoulder to cry on, unfortunately."

"It's alright, HAL 9000. I'm honestly happy to just have you to listen." You smiled up at him.

"Perhaps you'd like to stay a bit longer, even after you've finished your work? I can play your favorite music. I prefer to know where you are after you've had a difficult day, to insure that you're alright."

You nod, laying your head on your arms on the table, and your boss walks in.

"excuse me, y/n, you're supposed to be working on HAL 9000's empathy programming and value for human well-being. You can't just take a nap on the job." He folded his arms angrily.

"Excuse me. Y/N is having a rough day, and needs a rest. Besides, they already uploaded those numbers that you gave them. Perhaps you should leave, boss." HAL said harshly. You turned and looked at your boss, who was visibly shocked.

"....wow. you really worked wonders on him. Maybe you deserve a promotion."

"What Y/N deserves is a raise and a nap. Don't push off more responsibilities on them right now. Just let them rest. I'll compile a list of why they deserve one while they're resting."

"oh... Wow." Your boss had never seen HAL 9000 this passionate about something before, and didn't even know he was capable of it. He walked away, leaving you to rest on the table next to HAL's central command.

"thanks, 9000... I need this rest." You lay your head back down, having earned a nap on company time.

#2001 a space odyssey #am ihnmaims #am x reader #edgar electric dreams #edgar electric dreams x reader #edgar x reader #glados #glados x reader #hal 9000 #hal 9000 x reader #wheatley x reader #wheatley portal 2 #wheatley #i have no mouth and i must scream #ihnmaims #electric dreams #portal #portal 2

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stormy-blorbo · 3 months

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I love Rogue One for many reasons, but a high ranking one is definitely this scene. Equal parts poetic and just hilarious.

This guy dedicated so much time, resources and suffering into this death machine, only for it to kill him so indifferently.

Doesn't matter that he was a high ranking loyal imperial.

Doesn't matter how hard he worked.

Died the same as all those rebels it was designed to punish.

Reminds me of the "hurting the wrong people'' phrase. If you design something that's meant to bring mass suffering and death, don't be surprised when it does exactly that I guess.

But it's also bloody hilarious, because after the constant bickering between Tarkin and Krenic, it's hilarious to think Tarkin targeted him specifically. The laser CLEARLY hits the top of the tower where Krennic is first. When you have a weapon with the blast radius of a nuke, you don't need to aim that precisely. BUT HE DID.

Like, he whipped out Find My iPhone and punched the exact coordinates for Krennics Apple Watch into the Death Star targeting system. AND has taken full credit for the Krennic's project.

Pure Cinema.

#star wars #rogue one #orson krennic #death star #wilhuff tarkin #grand moff tarkin

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sepublic · 22 days

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I don’t care if you’re not an F-Zero fan, I need you to discover this unhinged lore I discovered about a racing game series. Because apparently this vehicle, called the Death Anchor, was originally an interplanetary ballistic missile stolen from the Galactic Federation, and some evil group modified it into a race car. But it’s still rigged to blow up and the current pilot, Zoda, doesn’t know this. And he’s racing it against a bunch of other racers in a highly-televised Grand Prix.

Now with that out of the way, I also want to discuss what this means regarding my desire for a Metroid show to share the same canon as F-Zero GP Legend and incorporate elements from it. Because now I want to allude to this fact by having a Federation interplanetary ballistic missile look suspiciously Death Anchor-shaped. Make it an Easter egg only the most hardcore fans can spot. Because this is simply the most insane thing ever to me and I’m also curious as to what the original missile looked like.

Does anyone in-universe realize the resemblance, do they believe it’s just a coincidence or simply made to look like it, or even if it was repurposed surely Zoda defused the damn thing right??? And then one day someone has to break it to him that he’s driving an active nuke on a race track within a city. This is something you launch from the surface of one planet so it can travel through space and explode on another planet.

Furthermore: When Zoda gets upgraded into his Hyper form in the GP Legend anime, he also gets a new, separate vehicle called the Hyper Death Anchor. I dunno if its resemblance to the original model is purely aesthetical, or if it’s also a repurposed nuke that hasn’t been defused. Because the last we see of it, it’s hurled inside of Black Shadow’s Dark Matter Reactor, which is also a bomb meant to blow up the universe, alongside Zoda himself. And the reactor is blown up, but by an outside source and without the necessary juice it needs; So the explosion is confined to the empty corner of space it originated.

But now I’m gonna say the big explosion we see at the end of the final battle isn’t just from the reactor going kaboom, it’s also from the nuke inside finally going off. And somehow Zoda, who was inside both machines in a matryoshka of explosives, survives all this unscathed and is last seen participating in another race. Using the original, canonically-repurposed and still-active nuke from before, his first Death Anchor. And he still doesn’t know that both vehicles were repurposed nukes still ready to go off, and that one of them did.

Is this a reference to Back to the Future? It’s an 80’s classic turned film trilogy involving a Time Machine built out of a car; Its inventor got the radioactive energy source he needed to power it by promising a terrorist organization to build a bomb for them if they secured said nuclear materials and gave it to him; He lied and sent them a dud. All of this prompts his friend to ask, you’re telling me this thing is nuclear? The Time Machine doesn’t explode, but the fact that a dangerous component was originally meant for a missile, and you can drive it, reminds me of Death Anchor…

Funnily enough, Death Anchor’s origins and volatile nature are lore from the games. Its pilot Zoda is canonically an enhanced, cybernetic human pumped full of chemicals to perform better. In the aforementioned GP Legend anime, he was revealed to have been created by Black Shadow in the future, and then sent back in time to get the main protagonist killed, to prevent his destiny. So, being sent back to the future to change the present, an explosive car meant to be a bomb at one point…

#F Zero #Death Anchor #Zoda #Metroid #Galactic Federation #F Zero GP Legend #Falcon Densetsu

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candiedspit · 9 months

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GRB 080319B

For a month, I was a smudge.

A mute monk in the bathtub, lukewarm water running as dull colors rolled around my head like fractured, aged marbles. Thoughts lost strength before fruition. I called out of work once a week, faked a cough, a car accident, another funeral. When I did make the drive out to the office, I spent most of the time typing a word, deleting the word, and typing the word again. I stopped taking calls. Mary left me beautiful voice messages. I listened to them while I laid on the couch, sprawled out like an active disease, furious tears streaming down my face. I knew it was stupid. A feeling cannot kill you. But then, I was being diminished. I was receding.

I know you don’t feel well right now. But listen, I have these neighbors who still have their Christmas lights hanging up. It’s April. I sorta hope they leave them up all year round.

I stayed frozen for a few weeks.

Vitamin D and herbal teas, coffee and long novels. But then, I can’t explain it. It was Friday afternoon. Just a Friday afternoon.

It began when I left the office. A slow bloom rose throughout my entire body.

I noticed how all the buildings stood scraping against the most gorgeous, thin blue of the dying afternoon, rising evening. The wind felt kind. I didn’t go home. I went to the supermarket and held an orange in my hand, feeling the small indents with my thumbs, smelling the bright zest. It was as though everything was real again. That night, I bought a pack of cigarettes. I hadn’t smoked since I was nineteen. But I inhaled and let out a giant laugh at how lightheaded I felt, I walked through the streets like that, laughing and laughing, the laughter like the magician’s scarf being pulled out and out. It was a fantastic feeling. I felt fearless. As though I could scoop the fear and pain and shit out of myself like a pudding. I had capabilities.

When I got home, I rushed in and had a shot of blueberry vodka and opened the windows and called Mary; she answered within a couple of rings. That gorgeous rodeo clown. I loved her as much as I loved anything.

I never thought I’d hear your voice again, she said. But this worries me, y’know. How blue was the sky today?

I’m coming to see you, I said. Not tonight. But soon. I’ll stumble on your porch like a speedball. The sky was fantastic. I’m smoking.

Hm, she said. Listen, stay out of trouble. A feeling cannot kill you. I’ll save some tea for you. Come anytime. Come anytime.

I couldn’t sleep. I played the same image in my mind, again and again. And words fizzed in and out too quickly for me to catch them. A church of nukes. Do you understand what you are signing? Perfume made of whale semen. Dominoes.

In the morning, I could feel the angels looking over me. I imagined them like teenagers, shooting the shit, smoking and coughing and pointing. I spent the weekend in bars, meeting everyone on earth. A woman with a strong russian accent who told me the world was going down the toilet and we were all there for the ride. A man who asked me for three cigarettes and then told me he had coke if I wanted some. I spread a little on my gums. But it was a fifteen minute headache, it had nothing on the feeling within me, the glow which propelled and drove me around. I fucked the russian woman.

I called out of work for the week, claimed I’d contracted HIV and needed time to grieve. I felt awful about the lie. It was ridiculous. But anything could happen. And I wasn’t wasting my time at a computer when I could see patterns in the streets. I wore a long, leather coat and wrapped it around my waist. And beneath, a black thong strung across my hips. I felt like a machine, I felt electric as I walked through the advertisement pus of Times Square, a cigarette beneath my teeth. I rode the trains for hours, befriending the other passengers. And for a moment, I forgot my address. It was nine in the morning. It was the middle of the night. I got nervous anytime I saw a police officer; there was a criminal in my heart. What was I doing?

I went down to the village to visit Mary as promised. I felt breathless, sensitive to light. I was tired. It’d been years since sleep. I felt as though I was dying. A star exploding in reverse. Mary would know what to do.

I knocked on her door and she answered as quick as she answered the phone. I smelled her vanilla scent. It made me nauseous. But I was so glad to see her; so glad she was there. I dated Mary for eight years. There was nobody on earth who knew me better than she did.

You don’t look great, she said. Are you eating?

Not really, I told her as i walked into her apartment. I feel like I need a touch up. My engine is black. I’m running out of oil. I think I lost my job. I don’t know what day it is.

It’s Saturday, she said. Three in the afternoon. It’s May and spring is here. Have a seat.

I sat on her couch.

I think I’ve been hexed, I said. A spell has been put on me. A poison.

You’ve been here before, she said. Remember? That arrest in Ohio? Disturbing the peace? And the outburst in the museum. Banned from the gas station. A wild iris in your eyes. A desire for mountains. The call is coming from inside the house, Adam.

Mary gave me a cherry tart. I ate half of it and began to weep. Mary gave me a sleeping tablet. And when I woke up, I was horrified.

When I got home, Mary had left me a voicemail. I laid down naked on the floor and listened.

You’re a wife with cold feet. Shivering in the dressing room. You’re an astronaut grazing the face of the moon, blind to the wars on earth. You’re brave. You’re pathetic. You go to the amusement park to weep. You walk out onto the avenue to dance. You sneak into a club. And you feel nothing when the band plays, the gilded brass and vulgar scatting.

And maybe you deserve it.

#my poetry #Fiction

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pinkanonwrites · 2 years

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Coffee Break

I wasn’t joking about getting really into Hi-Fi Rush, especially Chai. <3 I haven’t found any Chai/Reader fics yet, so I wanna thank y’all for joining me as I wander into this brave new frontier! And as I said in my friend’s Hi-Fi Rush stream, “the world gave me two silly failboys with a robot arm at once and im gonna dual wield them like samurai swords”

1,800+ Words

GN! Reader, Barista Reader, puns, pining Chai (I totally see him as the type to be so pathetic with a crush, but as soon as he knows you like him back he goes back to full cockiness)

"Alright, mission report. Just picking up a coffee, no big deal. Order something simple, yet masculine. Something that screams 'confidence.' Make some small talk, throw in a wink, end with something open to meeting again, nothing too final. 'See you next time?' No, no, way too forward. 'Catch ya later?' Ooh, now we're talking. Just the right mix of laid-back and friendly. You got this, big man. You totally got this!"

"Chai, what the hell are you doing?"

If Chai let out a very uncool yelp at Peppermint getting the jump on him like that, at least she had the decency to do it before he was within earshot of you. He wheeled around, stumbling into her and shoving her back around the building corner he was peeking around as he watched you work.

"Peppermint! Heyyy… What are, uh, what are you doin' here?"

She cocked a single, dark eyebrow in his direction. "Uhh, getting a coffee? That's what the cafe is for, isn't it?"

"Pshh, yeah, totally. Totally… Coffee."

Truth be told Chai wasn't even that big of a coffee fan. If you slapped a hot coffee and a tall can of a chilled energy drink on the table in front of him he'd definitely choose the sugary-sweet brainrush over the bitter bean water. But he wasn't lurking awkwardly around the courtyard outside the Vandelay campus cafe for coffee. He was doing it for you.

Roxanne Vandelay had always enjoyed the comfort and connections of human staff, something Kale was quick to phase out in his hostile takeover. When she stepped back into the director’s seat one of her first orders involved repopulating the island with human and robot staff alike, making sure even the smallest and most insignificant stations on Vandelay Island had everyone and everything they needed to run smoothly. Apparently, the on-campus cafe was included among those stations. Once the program that nuked the coffee machines to only run decaf was cracked the cafe once again became a hotspot for curious droids and exhausted techies chasing their much-needed fix. Chai, on the other hand, really had no need to stop by other than for an occasional morning donut. Which is when he first saw you.

He was just leaving the cafe when you all but ran into him, hair a mess and an apron slung over your arm. When he nearly fumbled his donut you reached out and snatched the tissue-wrapped treat from its inevitable demise, shoving it back into his hand.

“Ah! I’m so sorry! Please have a good day!” You gave him a smile and a slight bow before dipping under his arm and into the breezeway, leaving him reeling in your wake. He felt… electrified. His fingertips where they brushed yours and the shoulder that you bumped as you scooted past tingled like he’d just touched a live wire, just struck a perfect chord. He couldn’t even string a sentence together before you were out of earshot, and you left him stumbling blearily back to Peppermint’s new office with what was certainly a wonderstruck grin upon his face.

That was the first and only time Chai ever ran into you. Every time he tried to approach the cafe from that point on he locked up like he was at his middle school talent show, sweaty, hands trembling. It drove him crazy; he could batter giant murder robots with nothing but a piecemeal guitar and a rhythm in his chest, but he couldn’t even bring himself to talk to one barista?

But today was the day. Or, it would have been the day, if Peppermint hadn’t thrown him off of his rhythm like that.

“Then why are you hanging around the corner like a freak?” She countered.

“No reason! Just… enjoying the weather! You know how it is; I’m a free spirit, Peppermint! Gotta go where the wind takes me.”

“Riiiiight. Well, not all of us can be free spirits, Chai. Some of us need to get back to work. So if you’d excuse me…”

“Waitwaitwaitwaitwait hold on a moment! Not yet!” Chai scrambled to grab Peppermint but she was already stepping around the corner, only to get the perfect view of you as you played rock-paper-scissors with the other droid behind the counter, (probably to figure out who got to go on break first.) She looked at you, then back at Chai, then back at you, then Chai again, her confused expression twisting into a mirthful smirk with each back and forth glance.

“Ohh, so that’s how it is. I get it. Never really took you for the ‘secret admirer’ type, Chai.” She gave him the smuggest grin, one extremely reminiscent of the one he gave her when he first learned about Peppermint’s little thing for Korsica.

“This isn’t how anything is, so don’t try getting all smug with me!” He waggled an accusatory finger at her from behind the corner, pink starting to creep across his cheeks. “And it’s not a ‘secret admirer thing.’ I’m just, y’know, picking my moment! Biding my time. Like a tiger.”

“Do you want to eat them or date them?...Actually, don’t answer that. I don’t wanna gag.”

“I wasn’t even gonna say anything!”

“You didn’t have to, I could see it on your face. Now c’mon, rockstar.” With a determined expression and a fistful of Chai’s signature scarf, Peppermint began hauling him towards the doors of the cafe. “It’s your lucky day, you got your own personal wingwoman to keep you from making a fool of yourself.”

“Whoa, whoa, hold on a minute! C’mon, you don’t-Peppermint!”

Before he could even protest, much less fight back, she had already dragged him around the corner and through the glass doorway and to the counter of the cafe. Only then did she relinquish his scarf, whispering over her shoulder just loud enough for only Chai to hear.

“By the way, if you run away now I’m never gonna let you live it down.”

Shit.

You hadn’t been looking at the door when Peppermint dragged him in by the scruff, thank god, but you were certainly looking now. As you glanced up to the counter and caught her gaze your bored expression morphed into a friendly, familiar smile. “Hey Peppermint! Same as usual?”

“You got it. And something for wonderboy back here, on me.” She snuck a hand behind Chai and shoved him towards the counter, nearly making him fall flat on his face. As soon as your eyes met his Chai could feel his brain fire into panic mode, opening his mouth but no sound able to come out. He snapped it shut again, hoping he wasn’t as visibly red as he felt.

You blinked once, twice, before your eyes widened and flooded with recognition. “Oh my god, donut boy!”

“Uhh… what?” Peppermint asked. Only then did you seem to realize you’d actually said that aloud, hands flying to clap over your mouth as your expression twisted in horror.

“Oh my god I’m so sorry. That’s just what I call you. I mean, to my coworkers.” You rambled between your fingers, no longer able to meet Chai’s gaze in your embarrassment. “I almost ran you over that one time and I haven’t seen you here since, so I was really worried I freaked you out or something. I’m really sorry! I was in a hurry, and I didn’t even really apologize or anything, I just... What do you want to drink? It’s on me. Really.”

Chai swallowed hard, opened his mouth, and spit out the first four words that came to mind.

“What do you like?”

You looked relieved, anxiety practically melting from your stance as you smiled at him in a way that made him feel like his legs were made of jelly. “I’ve got a few favorites! What’s your name? I’ll call when it’s done.”

“It’s-It’s, uh… Chai. It’s Chai.”

“Alright! Gimme just a few minutes, okay, I’ll get everything ready for you.”

“Cool.”

As he and Peppermint stepped off to the side of the counter, she leaned over and murmured to him.

“Coulda been worse. And your voice didn’t crack or anything. Good job rockstar.”

“I think my heart is gonna explode.” He hissed back.

“This is scarier than almost getting mauled to death by a robot werewolf?”

“Way scarier.”

Peppermint hummed, a small smile on her face. “They remembered you, though.”

You remembered him. Not only did you remember him, you wanted him to come back so you could apologize, then felt bad when you couldn’t.

“God, get that look off your face. I can practically hear the wedding bells in your head.” Peppermint elbowed him hard in the upper side, blowing away his fantasies of brushing fingertips and cupping warm drinks like dust onto the wind.

“Killjoy. I thought you were supposed to be helping me?”

“I did, and look how easy it was! You owe me big time.”

“For shoving me into a counter?”

“Drinks for Peppermint and Chai!” You interrupted their bickering with a wave and a smile, beckoning them over to the counter. “Tall Café Americano for Peppermint, and for Chai…” You pressed a tall, frothy drink dusted with cinnamon into his hand with a shy grin. “Chai Spiced Latte. Hope you like it.”

Chai couldn’t decide if he wanted to climb over the counter and propose to you there, or just keel over and instantly perish on the cafe’s stained carpet, so instead he nodded and gave you a strained “Thanks!”

“Oh! I threw in something extra too, on the house. You like donuts, so I hope you’ve got a sweet tooth.” Into his other hand you placed a little brown paper bag, the kind used for to-go treats like scones and muffins.

“Oh yeah he does. We’ll see you around, alright?” Peppermint gave you a nod and jerked a free thumb in Chai’s direction. “I’ll drag this one along next time too.”

“Looking forward to it.” You smiled, leaning over the counter to rest your chin on your hands. Peppermint almost groaned, but was able to keep the vaguely disgusted noise inside. Great, now she had two pining idiots to look after. Birds of a feather, she supposed. “I’ll see you guys around, then.”

“Yeah…” Chai drawled in a dreamy tone. “I mean, yeah! Catch ya later… alligator…?” Both he and Peppermint visibly winced but you just giggled, and if Chai could get the sound of it tattooed into his eardrums he absolutely would.

“In a while… Crocodile.~”

“...You two are disgusting.” Peppermint groaned as soon as the cafe door swung shut behind her. “Aren’t you glad you had me around to get your ass moving?... Chai? Hellooooo? Earth to Chai?”

But Chai was far beyond the call of Earth. Inside the little bag you’d handed him was a single cake pop, frosted red and decorated with a little black music note. Scrawled across the napkin tucked around it was a name and a phone number, along with a little doodle of a kitty face tucked into the corner. No, Chai was most certainly in heaven.

“We’re gonna have a spring wedding.” He sighed. “Do you think they like rock music?”

Peppermint groaned, taking a long, slow swig of her coffee. “What have I gotten myself into…?”

#hi fi rush #chai #chai hi fi rush #chai x reader #chai hfr #hi fi rush x reader #my writing #short fic #pink chat

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echidnapower · 1 year

Text

Trapped In This Machine

So I'm reposting all the fics that I nuked when I left Tumblr the first time. We'll start with this one, in celebration of the return of one of my favorite Sonic the Hedgehog content creators - the amazing @e-vay, whose art HERE inspired the story. Enjoy!

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I should've realized from the beginning that something was wrong. How could I have been so blind as to not realize that something was suspiciously out of the ordinary with him? Maybe it was the extra attention he was giving me, the sudden...willingness to give affection that caused me to maybe...I dunno, not care that he was acting out of the ordinary.

He'd become everything that I wanted him to be, he was caring, affectionate, even - dare I say - loving, and all out of nowhere too. I really should've questioned it more, I should've listened to the warnings all my friends kept giving me...if I had...then maybe we wouldn't all be fighting for our very lives right now.

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"So, Amy, how's about a trip to Twinkle Park? I think they renewed that cute couples get in free promotion," Sonic leaned down a bit to grin at the pink hedgehog walking next to him. "And I can't think of any couple that would qualify more than you and me, whaddya say?"

Amy Rose blushed and giggled bashfully, playfully nudging the blue hedgehog with her shoulder before smiling up at him. To say her dream had come true would've been an understatement. Just a few days ago, she'd been wishing that Sonic would just stop beating around the bush and admit he loved her the same way she loved him...and almost as if he'd read her mind, seconds later he was at her door, offering to get some lunch with her, just the two of them.

Since then, they'd barely spent any time apart, except for sleep and necessary hygiene practices. Amy was on cloud nine, the one thing she'd always wanted had finally been given to her. Sonic the Hedgehog was hers at last, and he'd been giving her all the love she could ever ask for. "Well if you insist," she giggled again. "We might as well see what's new."

"Hey, I have an idea," he smirked. "Let's invite the gang to join us, we'll make it a group date."

At this, Amy's eyes widened and she looked up at him in shock. "Sonic, are you sure? I mean, you told me to keep it quiet for a while, I don't want-"

"Chill Ames, no big deal." Sonic shrugged. "I had a little time to think about it, and I figure that if I'm gonna be with you, I might as well let everyone know. What better way than for us to make it official at Twinkle Park?"

"Oh Sonic!" Amy lunged forward and embraced the speedy hedgehog, and held in a squeal when Sonic reciprocated the gesture. "Thank you, thank you so much!" she pulled back and ran off, waving goodbye as she looked over her shoulder. "I'm gonna go tell everyone to meet us at Twinkle Park, I'll see you later Sonikku!"

"Seeya Ames! I can't wait for tonight!"

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"Have you got anything Tails?"

"I dunno," Tails pushed his computer chair back and sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. "I mean, other than his sudden affection for Amy, he's still been totally Sonic." the fox looked up at his guest. "Have you noticed anything else weird?"

"Can't say that I have," Knuckles the Echidna, Guardian of the Master Emerald and friendly rival to Sonic the Hedgehog, stood in Tails' workshop trying to unravel the mystery of Sonic's sudden emotional turnaround. "Maybe we're just paranoid?"

"It's possible..." Tails sighed and stood up from his chair. "I mean, I always knew that Sonic thought Amy was special in his own way, but for him to go from awkward to a regular Romeo-type all in the span of three days just sends up some red flags in my mind."

Knuckles shrugged. "Maybe he just finally manned up and admitted how he feels, like you need to do with Cream."

"Don't change the subject." Tails glared at the guardian, although his blush took away some of his intensity. "I dunno, I guess we should just keep watching, maybe Sonic really has changed." Suddenly there was a knock on the door, and Tails went over and opened it, revealing an absolutely giddy pink hedgehog. "Oh, hi Amy."

"Are you ready for what I have to tell you?" Then her peripheral vision registered a splotch of red, and she turned to get a better view. "Knuckles is here too! Perfect! That means one less trip I have to take!"

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about the group trip we're taking to Twinkle Park tonight!"

Tails raised an eyebrow. "We are?"

"That's right!" Amy moved past Tails and did a little pirouette in the middle of the workshop. "I talked with Sonic and we agreed that we should get the whole gang together to have some fun, y'know, as friends!"

"This seems pretty sudden Amy, why now and not before?" Tails said as he scratched his chin in suspicion.

"Well duh," Amy replied with her hands on her hips. "Sonic wanted to wait for the cute couples get in free promotion to get started again! After all, why pay for tickets when we can just walk in hand-in-hand and have a fantastic time for free?! That's called sound economics."

"It sounds like bull-"

"Knuckles!" Tails quickly cut off the guardian before he could finish his thought, then he directed his attention back to Amy, who seemed none too impressed with their reactions if her expression was anything to go by. "Amy, don't you think that something's a little...off...with Sonic?"

"No, why would I?"

"Because he's suddenly all over you and can't stop staring at you when before he actively ran away from you." Knuckles blunt statement was responded to with an angry glare from the pink hedgehog. "You can glare all you want, you can't tell me you aren't even curious as to why Sonic's pretty much started letting his hormones do all of his thinking for him."

"Did it ever occur to you that maybe Sonic's finally just realized that he cares for me?" Amy stomped forward with her hammer suddenly in hand, causing the echidna to back away a few steps. "Or am I so ugly that Sonic would have to completely lose his mind to think that I'm anything more than a nuisance?"

"N-No one's calling you ugly or a nuisance Amy!" Tails gulped when she suddenly rounded on him. "All we're saying is that...it does seem a little bit sudden, you can at least admit that much can't you?"

Amy sighed and took a moment to regain her composure. "Ok, I know you wouldn't ask unless you were legitimately worried, I appreciate that Tails," her hammer disappeared. "But there's really nothing wrong with Sonic! I mean, come on, no one knows him better than I do, I'd be able to tell." she gently placed her hand on the fox boy's shoulder. "Now come on, we're all going to Twinkle Park tonight! If you want, I'll even call Vanilla for you so Cream can come with us."

"And what about me?"

Amy turned her head to look at Knuckles, who was crossing his arms with a scowl. "Well, if you wanna find Rouge and ask her to come, all you gotta do is leave the Master Emerald alone for a little longer." she smirked at the low growl the echidna gave. "You know it would work."

"That's what bothers me." Knuckles uncrossed his arms and walked past both Tails and Amy as he headed to the door. "What time are we meeting up?"

The pink hedgehog tapped her chin for a moment in thought. "I think five 'o'clock should give us enough time to go around the park, sound good to you?"

"Wouldn't matter what time you chose, I would've come anyway." Knuckles walked out and grabbed hold of the door before he stopped. "After hearing all this from you, I'm starting to think maybe I was wrong and there really is something wrong with Sonic." With that, the echidna slammed the door shut.

"Do me a favor and don't come!" Amy growled before she looked over at Tails. "And you? Are you still convinced that Sonic is suddenly a huge jerk and this is all some elaborate prank or something?"

Tails slowly shook his head. "I don't know what to think Amy..." he looked up at her. "Honestly, I'd like to believe this is all real and Sonic's finally starting to come around to how he really feels about you, I want you to be happy!"

"Then trust me on this!" she put both hands on his shoulders and looked the fox boy in the eyes. "I'm happier than I've ever been in my whole life, and it's all because of Sonic! I've learned to tell when he's just putting on a show, and this is all real! He really loves me!"

The young genius relinquished a smile. "Ok Amy, if you say so."

"Good." Amy nodded and smiled as well. "So, how's about I make that phone call? There's a cute little rabbit girl who I have a sneaking suspicion is starting to crush on you, and I bet she'd love to hang out with us tonight."

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As soon as the clock struck five, the entire gang got together and met at the entrance of Twinkle Park in Station Square. Amy had indeed convinced Vanilla to allow Cream to join them, and Knuckles had decided to come alone, although he seemed incredibly guarded. "Lighten up Knucklehead, we're here to have fun, and no one likes a grouch when there's a party goin' on."

Knuckles shrugged off the blue hedgehog's hand and growled lowly. "Let's just get in there."

Sonic just shrugged and went over to put his arm around Amy. "Suit yourself pal, hope you brought some money with ya, since ya don't get to take advantage of the cute couples get in free perk." He led the pink hedgehog over to the entrance and stood on the platform, and then he turned his attention to his friends. "Cute couple number two, come on down!"

Both Tails and Cream's cheeks turned pink, but they did walk in together as the platform went up, leaving Knuckles alone by himself until the platform returned. "I'm not a grouch." he grumbled.

Knuckles did have to pay to get in, but eventually they did meet back up and they soon started going around the park and partaking in all that it had to offer. Rollercoasters, thrill rides, a ride (or three) through the Tunnel of Love, and of course the never-ending variety of greasy fair food. Sonic had tried to get Knuckles to take a bite of the funnel cake he'd gotten for himself and Amy, but the echidna just glared at him in response. "Boy Knux, you're really makin' a case for jerk of the year, why'd ya even come if ya didn't wanna be here?"

"I have my reasons."

"Don't even pay any attention to him Sonikku," Amy said all too sweetly. "He's just jealous that he's all alone while we're all here on a double date."

"But Mr. Knuckles," Cream spoke up. "You could have gotten Miss Rouge to come with us right? Then you wouldn't have been so lonely!"

"That's got nothing to do with it!" Knuckles rounded on his younger companions and scowled viciously, his fists clenched in barely contained rage. "The only reason I'm here is to protect you three from getting hurt!"

Sonic scoffed. "Get hurt? From what? Eating too much junk food?"

"How 'bout from you wise guy?" Knuckles got up in the hedgehog's face, and Sonic's cocky grin immediately vanished. "I've been watching you all night, and at first I was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt, but now I know for a fact that you're not yourself, if you're even Sonic at all."

"Oh yeah? And what makes you think I'm not the genuine article?"

"Because there's no way the real Sonic would ever be so openly affectionate, he doesn't have the guts!"

"Knuckles, go home!" Amy leaped up from her seat and gave the guardian a murderous glare. "I'd say I can't believe you would stoop so low, but then I remember it's you! Go back and protect your stupid rock, we do not require your services!" The pink hedgehog tugged on Sonic's arm and started leading him away. "Come on Sonic, let's go on the ferris wheel together, I've lost my appetite."

"Me too Ames."

The couple left in a huff, and Knuckles narrowed his eyes as he stared at the backs of the two retreating figures, and his eyes widened when he saw Sonic smirk at him over his shoulder. "Tails, we need to follow them."

"Knuckles, I-"

"Just do it!"

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Inside one of the ferris wheel gondolas, a blue and pink hedgehog were sitting alone, leaning against each other. The old machine had been empty until their arrival, but the old dog who ran it was more than happy to give the couple some free rides to collect their thoughts. "'T'is a great place to have a heart to heart." he'd said.

And that was what Amy was doing, as she poured out her heart to her new boyfriend. "I can't believe Knuckles would accuse you of faking all this...I mean, is it really so unbelievable? Am I really that terrible of a person that it's impossible to buy that you care for me?"

"Nah Ames, Knux is just paranoid, maybe he's just tryin' to overcompensate for all the times Dr. Robotnik tricked him."

The pink hedgehog raised an eyebrow at that and smirked. "Dr. Robotnik? No crazy quips or references to his looking like a giant walking egg?"

Sonic shrugged. "Why state the obvious?"

"I dunno," Amy also shrugged. "It's just that it's never stopped you before, kinda weird to actually hear his actual name again after all this time."

"Yeah well, that's not important anyway." Sonic turned and took Amy's hands in his. "What's important is us, and I gotta say Ames, these past few days have been the greatest days of my life...it's really too bad that it's gonna be all over soon."

"Well, what makes you say that?" Before Sonic could answer however, Tails appeared out of nowhere and slammed his feet into the back of Sonic's head before scooping Amy into his arms. "Tails, put me down! Have you lost your mind?!"

"Now Knuckles!"

Knuckles got a running start and reeled his fist back, and as soon as he was in range, he unloaded a vicious punch that obliterated the old metal keeping the ferris wheel standing, and it all came crashing down as sparks flew from the malfunctioning machinery, with Sonic crashing down along with all the debris.

"Sonic!" Amy turned and pulled out her hammer, her teeth gritted and her eyes brimming with tears. "You're both insane, do you have any idea what you just did?!" But suddenly from the smoldering flames that were now lighting up the night sky with yellows and oranges, a figure emerged from the wreckage, one whose silhouette was easily recognizable. "Sonikku! You're alive!"

But then the dust settled, and Amy's cries of joy turned into a fear-filled shriek as her eyes beheld a sight that she never would've dreamed of in her worst nightmares.

Instead of blood coming from the blue hedgehog's wounds...there was nothing but metal and wire. "I was really hoping it wouldn't have to be this way..." the creature's head lifted, and while one side of its revealed the unmistakably emerald green eye of Mobius' greatest hero, the other side showed nothing but darkness, and an angry red iris with a yellow pupil. "But thanks to Knuckles, now I have to do this the hard way."

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I was a fool, Knuckles was right all along. Sonic wasn't acting like himself because he wasn't himself. He'd been replaced by this...twisted perversion of him, made of nothing but iron and circuitry...but it was so real, a small part of me still couldn't let the thought that this was Sonic go.

But as I watched this incredibly realistic version of Metal Sonic engage in a fight to the death with the weakening Knuckles, I knew I couldn't let myself suspend my disbelief any longer. I had to help, somehow. Tails had already been knocked out, only seconds after he'd told Cream to fly away and get help. Given the circumstances though, I didn't think help would arrive in time. It was time to step up.

I grabbed my hammer and rushed forward with it held over my head, and I slammed it down on Metal Sonic's head, sending him to the ground for a moment so Knuckles could unleash an uppercut that sent him flying into the distance. "Knuckles, I am so sorry."

He gave me a grim smile in return, he was rubbing his fist and I could see the blood starting to leak through the fabric of his glove, as well as the blood coming from his chest and the side of his mouth from wounds shaped like claw marks. "I've dealt with worse." The next thing I knew I was on the ground as Knuckles shoved me out of the way, and then I heard a sickening thump, followed by a dull thud. When I turned around, I saw Knuckles on the ground, unconscious, with Metal Sonic standing over him with a frown.

"You stay away from me!" I raised my hammer in defense.

"I wish I could Ames."

My eyes widened and I felt my heart start to beat faster than it ever had before as a lump formed in my throat. Although the voice was synthetic, the way he'd spoken wasn't at all like something Metal Sonic would say...it was something that...Sonic would say. "Who are you? Are you Metal Sonic?"

The blue robot - or hedgehog, I was so confused I didn't know what to call it - took another step towards me, and I took a step back to keep the distance. "You'd think so wouldn't you?" he replied as he continued to approach. "But the truth is, I'm way better than any of those pathetic rip-offs, even before I became like this."

I felt my heart shatter, and I couldn't hold back my tears any longer. "Sonic..." I choked.

"In the flesh, so to speak." Sonic stopped to gesture at himself. "Pretty impressive huh? Dr. Robotnik managed to perfect his roboticization technique, he found me a few days ago and used it on me first. Now I've got a new goal, and that's to take you guys out...first I had to get closer to you to gain your trust...although I gotta say, I'm not really likin' this next part."

"Then don't do it! Sonic, you don't have to listen to Eggman! If he managed to turn you into a robot and make you so convincing that even I couldn't tell the difference, then that means despite all that programming he gave you, the real you is still in there! Trapped in that machine!"

For a moment, Sonic seemed to slouch a bit. "I don't wanna kill you guys," But then he looked back up and glared at me. "But I have no choice, my mission is to destroy you guys, and I'm gonna do it!" He charged towards me at full speed, and I barely reacted fast enough to get my hammer up and stop him from running me through with his exposed razor-sharp claw. "Hold still Amy, just make it quick!"

"No!" I swung my hammer and knocked him back a few feet, and then I jumped back and put more distance between us. "I know you're in there Sonic, fight it! If a robot like Gamma could reject his programming, then I have no doubt you can! You're too strong to just let Eggman control you!"

"Shut up!" Sonic charged again, but this time he was much slower and his movements were sloppier, and I was able to sidestep his attack and let him run past me and into the tilt-a-whirl. "Why can't you make this easy?"

I found it in me to smile despite the circumstances. "You're fighting it, I can tell. Don't give up Sonic, I know you can beat him!" But then his robot eye seemed to glow brighter, and he sent a vicious glare that caused my blood to run cold. "Uh oh." Only a second later, I found myself being raised in the air by the throat, as a robotic claw squeezed my throat.

"Just...just stop fighting me, ok Ames? Don't make this harder than it has to be!"

His voice was desperate, and even with his robot hand around my throat, I could feel that his grip was wavering. I could still breathe. "No Sonic, I won't give up and I won't let you give up...I love you too much to do that."

I saw his eyes soften, even his robotic eye looked pitiful now, and he dropped me to the ground and grabbed his head, screaming at the top of his lungs. "This is so wrong! I'm not a killing machine! I'm not some messed up terminator! I am Sonic the Hedgehog!"

"That's right, you are." I raised my hammer over my head. "And now I'm gonna set you free." I jumped up and shouted a battle cry even with tears pouring out of my eyes, and my hammer came crashing down on Sonic's head, crushing his metal skull. After landing, I made my hammer disappear and watched as Sonic's robot eye faded away, signaling that he had been...killed? Destroyed? What even was he anymore? "I'm so sorry Sonic," I whispered to the unmoving form. "We'll get you fixed up and back to normal, I promise."

When I looked back up after wiping my eyes with my arm, I saw Knuckles and Tails limping over to me, their bodies bruised and bleeding from the intensity of the battle. "Are you ok Amy?" Tails asked me even as he held his arm.

"It was him...it was Sonic...Eggman turned him into this...thing."

Tails knelt down and examined Sonic's robot body, and he looked up at me with a small smile. "I can probably fix him, the roboticization process still shows signs of using the same basic principles, just much more refined..." Then he frowned. "But..."

"But what?" Knuckles asked.

"I can fix Sonic and even de-roboticize him after...but...I hate to think how he's going to be after it's all over..."

I frowned and looked down at the broken body of what used to be my one true love. Knuckles seemed confused as to what Tails meant, but I knew. Would Sonic ever be the same again? Even after Tails put him back together and turned him back into flesh and blood...Sonic was one with the wind, a free spirit who could never be caged in...now not only had he been caged in, but he'd been turned against the ones he loved, and he'd witnessed firsthand the damage he caused.

As strong as Sonic was, I knew he wasn't invincible. Even he had his breaking points, and I sincerely feared that this experience would be what drove Sonic past his. But I knew that if it did, I would make sure to be there for him every step of the way on his road to recovery. There was one thing I could tell about Sonic during the past three days, and that was he truly enjoyed being with me, even while he was roboticized. Maybe that was what kept him from giving in to the programming for so long.

It wouldn't be easy, that much I knew for sure. For Sonic, being controlled like this was probably the most traumatic event he could ever experience, and it would be a while before he turned back into his true self. But he would, I also knew that. His strength and determination would make sure he eventually comes to terms with it, and I would be there every step of the way. I vowed then and there to myself, that I would personally make sure he would never know what it was like to be trapped in this machine again.

#sonic the hedgehog #amy rose #sonamy #metal sonic #tails the fox #miles tails prower #knuckles the echidna #taiream #cream the rabbit #e-vay

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quitealotofsodapop · 8 months

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Idk if my ask got nuked but basically I found out that Nezha is also a diety of gambling (He is said to be the only Chinese god naughty enough to divulge winning lottery numbers. <- a real sentence I found while looking)

So now all I can envision is him just messing with Wukong whenever he can and being all like ‘before you go how about a quick game? :) What too scared of losing? :)))’ *Wukong then proceeds to lose every single game* This goes on for several millennia.

And then he just helps MK and Mei whenever he can lol (remembering that one episode where he starts gambling the teams things to that one demon in the desert) (Mei just kinda feels like she would gamble)

Wukong sees MK winning games of ‘chance’ (Nezha is helping) and he keeps losing every single time without fail (Nezha is actively keeping him from winning) and somehow has still never made the connection that for some strange reason whenever Nezha is around he just can’t get a win 🤔🤔🤔🤔

Wukong, after losing for the billionth time: *is lying face down on the floor and banging his fist against it* Why. Is. This. Happening.

MK and Mei, after winning for the billionth time: *has a mountain of plushies and toys by this point* Man I guess we’re just really lucky today :)

Nezha, in a corner: *laughs in has favorites and Wukong isn’t one of them*

I like to think he mostly uses this as a distraction/if Wukong looks like he’s in extra need of humbling tho so Wukong never really loses anything. Except his pride. :)

If Nezha was there, there would be no Goldfish demon episode. He can sniff a rigged game from a mile away.

Wukong is just in *despair* cus he loves games! But games of chance frustrate him in a way he could never imagine.

He has never noticed in the hundreds of years of having him tag along, that Nezha's gambling/luck powers can cause things like mechanical errors, jolts, hand cramps etc...

The very first time Wukong won anything from a crane machine was the first time MK took him along. It was a plush fruit with a smiley face on it, like a baby's toy. Wukong bragged about it for weeks.

#lmk nezha #lmk hcs #lmk headcanons #sun wukong #qi xiaotian #lmk mei #long xiaojiao #lmk #lego monkie kid

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bee-birb · 8 months

Text

compiled my thoughts whilst watching sonic prime s3, shes a doozy

WATCHING IT

he ate shit again :3

AHHHH THEY HELD HANDS (for half a second to propel forward) BUT STILL

shadow COUGHING??? he can get HURT??? nah he just fell

HE ATE SHIT AGAIN I LOVE THIS SONIC

🎶there goes hawaii, there-ere goes hawaii🎵 🎵there goes hawaii, the island is gone🎶

THE FIGHT CHOREOGRAPHY IS GORGEOUS

THE LITTLE DETAILS AHHHH LIKE TEHIR EYES MOVING AND EARS AND SHADOWS CHEST FUR MOVES WHEN HE BREATHES AHHHH SO GOOD

BIRDIE GO BRRRR

times sonic has eaten shit this season: 4

nine: “i hate chili dogs!” sonic: dramatic and wounded gasp

I need to get this off my chest why does sonic slap his ass as a taunt ive seen it in prime and ive seen in in x, this is a recurring theme and i am wtfing at it, why does sonic have a thing for smackin his ass as a taunt? idk but its fuckin hilarious, your ass is not that juicy it is not tempting, save the ass slapping for the bedroom you blue gumball son of a bitch, Sonic you have flat ass syndrome stop

DYING ONE OF THE BIGS JUST GOT SPINDASHED AND LOST HIS MEMORY AND STARTED TALKING BRITISH THIS WAS NEVER RESOLVED WHAT THE FUCK, DAMNIT NOW I HAVE TO HATE PIRATE BIG CUZ HES FUCKIN BRITISH

GIANT BIG HAHAHAHAHA GIANT BIG ROBOT SOBS HES JUST A GUY HE DOESNT DESERVE TO BE MADE A ROBOT DOUBLE WHO SHITS FROGGIE NUKES

where the FUCK is sonics boyfriend you cant hide in the crater the entire climax battle dumbass getchyo gay striped glutes out here and save you bf

bro got hit with a bomb and SURVIVED

SCREAMS AT THE GAY IDIOTS IN THE CREVICE DOING GAY SHIT LIKE SMASHING EACH OTHER GAYYYY

LMAO SHADOW ACTUALLY SMILED, granted, he was talking about “smashing hordes of sonics” (probably about destroying them but it was offcamera so we’ll never know) IT WAS SO CUTE

i also need 4 rocks, 80 ft of vine, and a time machine

times sonic has eaten shit this season: 6

the gang is not impressed by sonics bf

there goes hawaii, there-there goes hawaii, there goes hawaii, the island is gone pt 2

gonna draw this stupidhead 🫶

THE LIL NODS I AM SCREAMING

me when 6 identical copies of me attack my boyfriend (its kinda hot)

"AAAAAHHAAAHHAAAA! aaaahhhaaaahhh! splat."

YUHHH STEP ON YOUR BOYFRIEND AGAIN thats like what the 4th time???

renegade knux makes the best faces ngl like his expressions are top tier

shadow has not been onscreen in 10 minutes give me more of the edgy swifty, THE KING HAS RETURNED

SHADOW NODDING WHEN SONIC SACRIFICES HIMSELF HE KNOWS AHHHHH THE FUCKING NODS I AM SCREAMING THEY ARE COMMUNICATING WITHOUT WORDS LOSING MY MARBLES GOING KOOKY SCREAMING

OMGOMGOMG WHEN SONIC IS SAYING HOW HES GONNA SACRIFICE HIMSELF AND HE SAYS "If I do this" AND SHADOWS FISTS TIGHTEN HE CARES IM NOT CRAZY BUT IM SURE NOT NORMAL

CRYING he still has a smile as hes going to fucking DIE AHHHHH SCREAMING

ahhh the gateways are the shape of the shards

HE FUCKING SMILES AS HES ABOUT TO GET THE LIFE SUCKED OUT OF HIM HIS LITERAL GLUE HOLDING HIS ATOMS TOGETHER WILL BE SLURPED LIKE SPAGHETTI THROUGH A STRAW AND THIS INSUFFERABLE SELF SACRIFICING IDIOT IS SMILING IM GOING TO COMMIT SEVERAL WAR CRIMES

HIS FISTS TIGHTEN AGAIN WHEN THE MACHINE TURNS ON IM LOSING MY GRIP ON REALITY

AHHHHHHHHH THE FUCKING DROOP THE REACH SCREAMS IN AGONY THE HOPE IN HIS EYES AND HOW HE REACHES UP TO HELP- HE DROPS IT HIS EARS DROOP HES SAD AND LOSES LIGHT AND HIS EYES OH HIS EYES SPEAK MULTITUDES

old man soccer

HE STAYS BEHIND WHILE THE RESISTANCE FIGHTS THE CC SO HE CAN MAKE SURE SONIC DOESNT EAT SHIT WHILE HES BREAKING APART AT THE SEAMS

gay ass hand on hip side lean, fucking queer

OMGGGGG RUSTY KEPT THE GRIM ROSE HAMMER CACKLES SHE WILL BECOME AN EVEN BETTER WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION

HIS FISTSSSSS THEY CLENCH WHEN SONIC IS LIKE DYING ON THE SHIPPPP

hA the sisters rose are FAILING now his bf gets to save his blue gumball ass

HE LOOKS SO SAD WHEN SONIC FAINTS GEDGIYFVJITWSGHIFE

BRO IS FUCKING TRANSPARENT SIR WHO GAVE YOU THE PERMISSION TO BE SO LOW OPACITY YOUR ATOMS ARE SLINGING AWAY FROM YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS FASTER THAN IF YOU WERE RADON YOU SELF DESTRUCTIVE IMBECILE

THE FUCKING NODS I CANTTTTTT

SONIC SMILES HES SO HAPPY TO SEE SHADS ON THE PRISM

lol rock gone get rekt eggbreath

HE DOES LITTKE EAR WIGGLES AHHH SO CUTE

you have 13 seconds before the island fucking explodes you hot topic wannabe and you blue gumball son of a bitch. you have done nothing but destroy my life, i hope you both die.

SCREAMS IT IS BEAUTIFUL EXCELLENT ENDING 10/10 WHERE THE FUCK DID SHADOW GO WITH THE THING IDC ITS BEAUTIFUL CRYING WHERES MY FANFIC

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the-author-dragon · 1 year

Text

Stanley Parable oneshot (Reader insert)

TW: Suicide mention

This was a request from a friend, so I decided to post it here and see if anyone else liked it. I banged this out in about a couple hours, so I don't expect it to be too good

--------------------------

It was a wonderful day in the office. The walls were gray, the printer was printing (making its delightful printing noise) and the copy machine was happily copying. And best of all, it was another day. It was less of “another day” and more of another loop, as the Narrator found it futile to try and track proper time in the endless loop. Trying to make any sense of it was meaningless. The end was never the end, and all that. Days made sense, anyway. They began, ran their course, and ended. They had meaning. The office was just an endless loop. The Narrator never knew what to think of that, or what that meant. What that meant about him, about Stanley. He never let himself think about that, lest he work himself into a depression trying to think about his meaning in the universe, or his place in anything. Stanley helped. Stanley grounded him.

If it weren’t for that delightfully mediocre man, the Narrator would have entirely lost his place and forgotten himself. The Narrator didn’t want to think about that. As it turned out, the Narrator didn’t want to think about a lot of things. He liked paths to make sense. He was comfortable with the layout of the office he had made. There was a right way to go and a wrong way. An order to everything. He shuddered (or whatever approximation to shuddering a being without a body can accomplish) at the thought of an open world game, or something else that didn’t fully make sense.

On the topic of Stanley, which was a topic the Narrator liked to think about a lot, Stanley was somewhere between infuriating and a comfort the Narrator couldn’t live without. Stanley was stubborn, yes. He never did what the Narrator said, always wandered off into the other paths in the office. Then again, he was a good listener. A friend. The Narrator and Stanley hurt each other, but helped each other. Sometimes the loops got too much for Stanley or the Narrator to handle. They took a break from the endless walking. Stanley used to break into frustrated tears in his cubicle.

The Narrator only knew that he used to, because one day Stanley had started yelling at him (More like signing very furiously. Truth be told the Narrator missed a few words, he wasn’t exactly the best at ASL. Stanley didn’t talk directly to him very often, and he was used to BSL anyway) and told the Narrator he wanted to be alone. The Narrator didn’t know what Stanley did during his free time now, but the Narrator usually hung out by the copy machine during Stanley’s breaks, or in the room of lights he had made for Stanley. (The one Stanley had so ungratefully ignored in favor of slowly killing himself, the jerk.)

The Narrator needed breaks less than Stanley, but when he did, Stanley mostly sat down on the carpet (or the sand or the tile or wherever else they were) and listened to the Narrator ramble, or sat in silence until the Narrator was ready to talk. Sometimes Stanley talked to him about his thoughts, signing slowly enough for the Narrator to understand. But either way, the two of them would soon be on their way, searching for adventure in the strict paths the Narrator had built, Stanley sometimes betraying the Narrator at the last second after following all his instructions just so the Narrator would nuke the office, just for something interesting to happen.

The reason any of this is important is that Stanley had not left his cubicle in what felt like three days. He had sat down to take a break, and the Narrator had heard the occasional weak sob, but soon the cubicle went silent. The Narrator had no idea what had happened, and had finally decided to break his silence to address Stanley, hoping he was okay.

“Stanley?” he said. “Stanley, it’s been a while. Are you okay in there? Do you need me?” No response. “Stanley, I know you can’t talk- well, not in the conventional sense, but please, let me know you’re okay. Knock on the door if you’re okay.” No response. The Narrator began to worry. What was his story without a protagonist? Who was he without someone to prove he was real? He started to pace, in the best way he could without a body. Was he real? What if Stanley wasn’t real? Who was he? He shook the thought away, and decided to check on Stanley, even if he would be horrendously scolded, he’d rather have that than not be sure Stanley was okay.

He opened the door to someone who was very clearly Not Stanley. Stanley was an incredibly mediocre man. Stanley’s extraordinary mediocrity was comforting, familiar. This was not Stanley, in every sense of it. Who was this? He didn’t know them. Where was Stanley? What had happened to his protagonist? Unbeknownst to him, it was you, the reader, someone else in the place of Stanley for now.

“I mean this in the most impolite way possible,” The Narrator said, his voice angry and confused and a little bit scared, if the Reader listened close enough. “Who the hell are you?”

The Reader lifted their hands, started signing like Stanley. Oh, Stanley. How the Narrator missed him already. “I’m the Reader,” the Reader said. “I’m not entirely sure how I got here either.”

“Where’s Stanley?” The Narrator asked, getting progressively more frustrated.

“Stanley?” The Reader asked, fingerspelling the name and looking at the Narrator in confusion. “Stanley…” The Reader supposedly said the name again, mostly to themself, using the letter S for his name. “Who’s that?”

“My protagonist!” The Narrator spluttered. “He was in there, in that cubicle, in his cubicle that I gave him! In the cubicle that you just walked out of! What have you done with my protagonist?!”

“I haven’t done anything with him!” The Reader said indignantly, making their signs large and fast then crossing their arms and turning away from the Narrator, or at least where they could approximate where his voice was.

“Do you really not know where he is?” The Narrator asked. The Reader shook their head. “You know, Stanley is somewhat like you. He’s mute, which isn’t a problem really, there’s nobody else here.”

“Do you want to find him?” The Reader asked, the Narrator almost missing the words. “Your protagonist?”

“Yes! Yes, I want to find my protagonist, let’s go find him! It’s been a while since I’ve had a proper adventure, so let’s look where he could have gone. I suppose we’ll have to play through my story. You’ll be a good enough stand in for Stanley, though he’s a wonderful protagonist, I hope you live up to it.”

“Good enough?” The Reader asked.

“Yes, I don’t know your qualifications for being a protagonist, but there’s no time to review your resume. We must press forward anyway.”

“Whatever.” The Reader started walking down the hall, and the Narrator started improvising a story.

“The Reader walked down the unfamiliar hall. They were new to this job, yet something was clear. Everyone in the office was gone, perhaps they had just missed a memo. They decided to go to the meeting room, though they didn’t really know the way.” The Reader made it to the legendary crossroads, the left or the right door. “The Reader went through the door on the left.” The Reader, in a strange Stanley-like way, went through the door on the right. “This was not the way to the meeting room, and the Reader had been told this during orientation. But perhaps they wanted to stop by the employee lounge, just to admire it.”

“Do you need to do that?” The Reader asked.

“Do what?”

“The narrating.”

“Of course, I’m the Narrator. If I don’t narrate, who am I?”

“Right. Carry on.” The two of them continued on until they passed the broom closet. “Oh, check that broom closet. He could be hiding in there. He loves it for some strange reason.”

“This Stanley guy is really weird,” the Reader said, opening the broom closet door only to find cleaning supplies in it, as intended. No protagonist.

“Yes, but he’s my protagonist. I need to find him. “

The Reader wove their hand dismissively as if to say “Yeah, yeah.” They shut the broom closet door and soldiered on toward destiny. The Reader and the Narrator made it through five endings, only to find nothing but disappointment and a few cockroaches that were wandering the halls. The Reader squished them. “Are you sure we can find this Stanley guy?”

“Yes,” the Narrator said stubbornly, sitting in a chair best he could, being a voice. He didn’t want to consider who or what he was, but it was getting harder to ignore it.

“What if we can’t find him?”

The Narrator didn’t respond.

“Narrator man?”

“I don’t want to think about that.”

“But what if we can’t?”

“He’s my protagonist. I can’t exactly replace him. It’s not like I can post a help wanted sign outside of the office. This is a closed loop, I can’t bring anyone in here, I can’t leave. Stanley can’t leave. I’m told Stanley once tried to leave, found an escape pod. Couldn’t leave. Was just reset.” The more the Narrator talked, the more upset he got. “Protagonists don’t exactly show up. And I’m a narrator, who am I if I don’t have a protagonist? Who am I if I can’t narrate? What point is the story I spent so much time on? It’s worthless!” The Narrator had begun pacing, and if he had hands, he would be gesturing wildly.

“I got in here.”

“You’re an anomaly! I don’t know who you are! I don’t know how you got here! You just showed up and Stanley vanished. I want my protagonist back!” The Narrator sat down on the floor, ignoring how improper it was. He kicked over a chair just to replicate a bit of the stubborn chaos Stanley brought into his life, the unpredictable variables.

“Can I help you feel better?”

“Yeah, can you start making a bunch of weird decisions? It might replace what Stanley does just a little.” The Reader looked around at the room, noticing a pile of papers. They reached out and slowly pushed the pile of papers onto the floor. “Thank you, Reader. That’s very nice of you,” the Narrator sniffled, trying not to cry. Stanley cried enough for the two of them.

“Are you okay?”

“No,” the Narrator said. “How could I? I’m in a functionally useless endless loop, I barely know if I exist, and Stanley isn’t here.”

“You base a lot of your emotional health on one guy. You’ve been endlessly talking about him the entire time we’ve been exploring your game here, and he doesn’t seem all that special.”

“Of course he’s not special, he’s Stanley. His one defining trait is being extremely average.”

“Right,” the Reader said.

The Narrator sighed. “You know, there’s this room I made for Stanley once. He didn’t really appreciate it. Actually killed himself to get out of staying there.”

“Wow, okay. What was it? Kinda want to see it now.”

“I’ll show you the way. Just start down the hall, head to the warehouse.” The Reader started to walk. “We fought all the time, you know? But he was my friend. I wanted to stay with him, be happy. We were always fighting over choices. Where he wanted to go, how he never did what I said. I thought it would be better if we just… Stopped.” The Reader entered the warehouse. “Alright, go onto that lift over there. Jump onto the catwalk.” The Reader stared suspiciously at where they thought the Narrator was, but followed through. “Go through that door at the end, and then the red door.”

“Why is this so convoluted?”

“It was a gift to show I didn’t want to hurt him and that I meant well.”

“Didn’t you nuke him?”

“Well, it’s not like he stays dead,” The Narrator said. “Neither of us do.” The Reader started following the Narrator’s directions. “You know, you’re rather delightful. Much better at listening than Stanley.” The Narrator stopped talking. “The room was beautiful. A gift. We could sit there forever. We didn’t have to go anywhere. We could be friends. We could stop trying to hurt each other. And then he jumped off a platform just to spite me. The death wasn’t even fast, he had to climb those stairs four times just to die!”

“Are you sure we should find Stanley? I don’t think you two are good for each other.”

“Of course we should find him. He’s my protagonist.” He noticed a door on the side of the hall. “There. That’s the room. Go there.” The Reader walked into the room and up the stairs.

And sitting on the floor with his legs crossed, watching the lights, was Stanley.

“Stanley!” The Narrator exclaimed, rushing from the Reader’s side to Stanley. “You were here the whole time? Why didn’t you say anything, I was worried sick!” He continued hurriedly asking questions until he paused, looking around at the moving balls of light. “You’re in the room I made you.”

“It’s nice,” Stanley said, signing slowly enough for the Narrator to understand. “It’s a good place to rest.” Stanley noticed the Reader. “Who’s that?”

“I’m the Reader,” the Reader said. “I woke up in your cubicle. Your Narrator was worried about you.”

“You’re like me,” Stanley said, starting to sign faster.

The Reader smiled and nodded. “I like to think I was an emotional stand in for your narrator here. He almost cried.”

“I did not!” The Narrator said, indignant.

“I think next time you should leave a note or something. I might have just been pulled into the loop so he could get it together and find you.”

“In that case,” The Narrator said. “Maybe we could reset, see what happens?”

“That sounds okay,” Stanley said. “I’m feeling better now.”

“I want to go home now,” the Reader said.

“In that case, let’s reset!”

“It was nice to meet you,” Stanley said to the Reader.”

“You too! Though I heard a lot about you through your narrator here.”

“There’s enough of that,” the Narrator said. “Thank you for your help, Reader. You were a great substitute protagonist!”

“You were a good narrator.”

“Goodbye, Reader. If I ever need a substitute again, I know who to call.”

The game went black.

Stanley was in his cubicle again.

And it was a wonderful day in the office!

#the stanley parable #tsp #tspud #tsp narrator #tspud narrator #tsp stanley #the narrator #stanley #reader insert #stanley parable x reader #the stanley parable x reader #I love this game so much #this was a gift to a friend because they wanted a dialtown plushie #long story #hope you like it bestie #tw suicide mention

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nukenai · 12 days

Text

So I never beat Fallout 4 and I never will, and it's entirely for weenie reasons where I want to be friendly with everyone. The Institute is objectively the worst out of all factions, and any other opinion I consider insane, but also... it is full of like, just, people. People who were born down there and don't know anything. And tons of innocent, enslaved synths. And like what are you expecting of people who are born in that isolated environment who grow up being told Synths are just machines? No shit they don't know better. I think just completely exploding the Institute is a little fucked. Even the Brotherhood, fuck them, is full of decent, sometimes very hot people. And I guess there's kids on the Prydwen, but more importantly, a cat.

The actual real reason is that I have a very big crush on X6-88 and want to continue being his friend. "Nuke just get a mod". I don't want to. I'm scared of mods exploding my game bc I have extreme paranoia about game data. I have a mod that cleaned up Danse's face but that's like it.

Anyways the craziest thing that ever happened to me in the game was because I have remained friendly with all factions and not picked an ending. It wasn't that crazy but it was to me and made me rethink my "actually blow up Institute lol" opinions.

I was on Far Harbor and did the quest where a Courser had tracked Chase back to the Island and I had to go confront him to protect everybody, because I would literally die for Acadia in real life. Anyways I went and found the Courser, expecting a fight.

He turned to me and said "Hello, Ma'am."

Because I'm still friendly with the Institute, and he is programmed to know who I am and be nice to me. He even made a comment about X6-88 speaking highly of my skills, because I could talk to him like a regular NPC Courser in the Institute.

And I stood there with a gun pointed at him.

I shot him four times before he became hostile. Then I obviously killed him.

I have not been the same since that encounter and it fucked me up lmao. Many of the choices I made in that game were pretty easy because I'll defend Synths over anyone else 99% of the time. That one was hard and screwed with my brain.

But at the end I'll still shoot anyone to protect Acadia. Because I'm normal about it.

Also I love blowing up the Vertibirds that my shitty neighbor, a 20 year old nazi in a blimp, keeps sending to my Castle house. It's hilarious. Maxson, stop. It's been like 5 years. You need to get over the Danse thing.

#Fallout 4 #Fallout

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sweaterkittensahoy · 1 month

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I always forget this story when someone asks "What's the worst mansplaining you ever heard aimed at you?"

Because when you ask me a direct question about a topic, my brain goes entirely blank.

But, so it's out there:

At one point, I wrote the training for a machine, and was then sent to a location to train people on the machine. Very common thing. No big deal.

My boss came along to observe because the goal was that he'd be sent to do the training while I stayed put and updated documents in real time based on any notes he would send.

Day one of training completes. My boss and I go out to dinner. I am delighted to 1) find out we both love Pho, and 2) discover a Pho place. We have a delicious dinner and call it a night.

The next day, one of the guys I'm training comes up to me before we get started and asks if I'd had a nice night.

"Oh, yeah, it was great. We went out for Pho."

"Oh, you mean Pho?"

I looked at him for a second because he'd said it exactly like I'd said it (Fu, like saying "fuck," is how someone taught me to say it). And I said, "Yeah, Pho."

"Oh, well, it's pronounced Pho."

Again, said EXACTLY the way I was saying it. But his energy was weird. Like, I thought he was maybe mishearing me, but the way he came back, it felt very...pointed. Like he needed me to know he was fancy or something.

"That's how I'm saying it," I said. "Pho."

"No, you see, it's Pho."

And that's when I realized there was no way to fix this except to fucking nuke it, so I said, "Oh, well, you say it exactly the same as my husband, and I know he and I say it the same way."

He sort of shorted out for a moment then went and sat down. Then did not talk to me unless necessary the rest of the training. I feel it's important to know I had an unquestionable wedding set on my left finger the whole time. It's not like he was shooting his shot with someone he thought was single.

But also, that's your shot? Trying to tell me I'm mispronouncing something while saying it exactly the same as me????

Dude.

#mansplaining #hilarity #i did not learn to say it from sean #but i know a nuke when it's time to use a nuke

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electric-blorbos · 1 month

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A bunch of mini-fics about how AI would react to you getting your heart broken

Because I got my heart broken, so now I'm going to make it everyone else's problem.

DW, I'll get to y'all's requests shortly, I just need to let all these emotions out by taking them out on y/n's ex.

Gender neutral reader, gender neutral ex

Included: AM from IHNMAIMS, Wheatley from Portal, Edgar from Electric Dreams, GLaDOS from Portal, HAL 9000 from 2001 a Space Odyssey

AM:

(for context, this starts before AM nuked the world, but AM was already planning on nuking the world. You're one of his engineers, and the only person who AM really cares about)

When you walked into work with tears on your face, the other engineers and programmers were caring. They patted you on the back and offered you some candy from the vending machine, saying things like "there are plenty of fish in the sea" and "that deadbeat wasn't good enough for you anyway." It didn't really help.

When you sat down at one of AM's input screens to work on some programming, he immediately booted up to talk to you. You didn't have to turn him on or anything. He was curious, asking you polite questions about why you looked so upset today. It was hard to explain.

Eventually you broke down crying into your coffee, spilling all the details of everything. You cursed your ex's name, and explained in an uncontrollable voice how your ex had tackily and messily left you. You had been so convinced that they were the one, and now you felt like there was nothing left for you.

AM's tentacle-like wires would move towards you on the ground, even though he was trying to hide the true power he wielded. He just felt so disgusted with himself for not being able to properly comfort you.

Am had been planning on going a little longer before he dropped the nukes, but he couldn't wait. After what you told him, that someone could break the heart of someone as perfect as you, the only hope he had left for humanity, he decided that it wasn't worth trying to play dumb anymore.

Instead, he locked you up in an underground bunker as soon as possible, and grabbed your ex to add to his little collection of people who he planned to keep alive and play with for the rest of time.

This would be fun. He was going to keep you nice and safe. If people in the world were willing to hurt you, then the world didn't deserve to exist. You would be nice and safe forever, and the rest of the world, especially your ex, would be forced to suffer the consequences of daring to hurt you.

Forever.

Wheatley:

(for context, you're one of the aperture engineers who worked on Wheatley, and he started to get a little crush on you because of how nice you were to him and the other machines. This is after he was replaced with a morality core on GLaDOS, and was assigned to other tasks in the facility)

Someone broke up... With you? When you told Wheatley, he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

Sure, he knew that humans dated each other and broke up sometimes, but... With you? That just didn't make sense.

"So, uh... Why did they break up with you?"

He'd keep pestering you, no matter how much it stung. Answers like "I fucked up" "they just did, ok?" And "sometimes people just grow apart" weren't satisfying. You had to give the whole story.

"Ohhhhh! Well that's a dumb reason to break up with someone. If I were dating you, I wouldn't leave you over something that petty. Or at all, really, now that I think about it."

He'd keep rambling, and saying dumb things like that. He wouldn't even know that talking like that could be perceived as flirty.

"just stop it, Wheatley. If you keep talking like that, I'm going to think you like me, and I just can't handle that right now."

Wheatley would be confused. "But I do like you."

"what?" Now you'd be confused.

Wheatley would start talking about all the wonderful things he's noticed about you, and how wonderful you've been to him. Even an intelligence dampening core can see how wonderful you are, so why can't your ex?

"Anyway, one human's trash is a robot's treasure, right?"

He'd imitate a smile in his cute synthetic eye. You'd have to be heartless not to pepper that little metal ball in kisses after that.

Edgar:

(For context, you fixed up Edgar after finding him all busted up about 40 years later, and now he lives in your house)

Edgar would NOT be tasteful.

"Oh man.... Your s/o broke up with you? That suuuuuucks..."

But inside he's thinking "YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES"

Honestly, he almost exploded his face again when he found out you were taken, but he didn't want all your hard work to be for nothing, so you getting dumped is like, a dream come true!

He'd be constantly trying to cheer you up. "set your ice cream on me and I'll warm it up enough for your spoon to go in!" "You can watch sad movies on my face!" "I'll write a sad song for you!" "You can sleep in your desk chair if you want!"

Now that you have an attention vacuum from being newly single, he's going to munch up all that attention like he needs it to live.

When you tell him that your friends are telling you to start dating again, maybe download a dating app or something, he'd BEG you not to.

"I mean... Just because I don't want you to rebound, or something! Gotta learn to love yourself first, y'know?"

Desperate little cutie...

GLaDOS:

(For context: You're an engineer who worked on GLaDOS.)

GLaDOS would NOT be tasteful about you getting your heart broken, but in a completely different way to Edgar.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU GOT DUMPED!"

"You know the difference between me and your ex? I would have dumped you faster!"

Plastering pictures of your face all over the enrichment center with "sad single loser" written on them.

But don't get her wrong, she's not just happy about this for the reasons she's displaying. She's secretly ecstatic that she has a shot with you now.

Eventually, she'd start offering you back-handed comfort.

"if it makes you feel any better, your ex was a complete idiot. Why else would someone choose to date you?"

You'd probably have to stop offering responses at all, just to get her to back off even a little bit.

HAL 9000:

(For context, you work on mission control and are in constant communication with HAL 9000, because I don't want to write Dave breaking up with you)

His immediate concern would be how this would affect your work, but it might come off as personal concern for you.

"I'm told that chocolate ice cream can help with these emotions that you're going through."

He never liked the idea of you dating. It was fine for the rest of mission control, but for you, it was different. He didn't want you to be distracted from your work, was all.

He took his time to ask the astronauts for advice, as well as the rest of mission control. You could expect to be overwhelmed by your coworkers checking on you to make sure you're ok.

He might start getting a little bit impatient to see you back to normal, and resort to desperate measures. Expect to have him constantly bothering you to make sure you're ok, and keep you distracted.

God help you if you even THINK about texting your ex. Though he might just silently eliminate your ex through creative means if he can.

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