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#maybe honestly let's be real
puppyeared · 4 months
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i feel like. theres designing a character with certain themes and motifs in mind, and then theres making a gijinka for the water bottle on my nightstand
#me when im the only person on the bus wearing a mask: i should make a furry plaguesona#its hard to explain bc. most of the time i try NOT to give my characters a 'strong' theme like making their whole design around#one thing like apples or even broad stuff like baking or cottagecore.. idk if its partly for flexibility or because i cant imagine them#making it their whole personality. not bc i find it cringe or overblown but more like ive learned to associate design with character depth#i had a cutesy uwu persona for most of highschool because i thought it would make me more. likeable? easy to remember? since#memorable character designs are easy to recognize. and one way of doing that is simplifying it with a theme or symbol so you form an#association. but since im a real person its exhausting keeping up that appearance all the time and denying myself things when they dont#fit my 'aesthetic' or 'theme.' i think ive grown past that bc i just collect stuff because i think it looks cool and dont let myself dwell#on how it might 'fit' with my image. but i cant help feeling bad doing it to my own characters bc it feels like im making them too one#dimensional. despite knowing that theyre not real and design alone doesnt reflect depth i cant help feeling like its wrong#despite that i love seeing motifs because it feels like it reflects the characters soul and paradoxically gives them depth. it makes them#interesting to look at too and honestly its pretty fun combining things that fall under a similar category when designing#i struggle find a balance between those two things#actually this reminds me of noelles christmas theme.. i dont remember her saying anything abt liking christmas despite a lot of#her design and character tying back to it. it makes me wonder if she would have feelings about that or doesnt think abt it too hard#or if its like a matching family shirts situation and shes just going along with it??#maybe i should just do whatever i want with my character designs since theyre not real and im thinking abt it too hard#although. this probably has something to do with deep seated identity issues huh#yapping#oc talk#oc
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lokh · 20 days
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oughh i wanted to do a cute laishuro take on the blu ray extras (what if laios had been eaten instead) but lets be honest. they absolutely would not have made it as far without laios
#they wouldve died. badly.#unfortunately ive lost the link saw it on twitter but i think laios gets knocked unconscious and imagines that it had been him that got ate#and not falin. and falin is the only one to advocate for them going back#but no one wants to go along with her presumably because they dont care for laios that much#(or at least this is laios' perception as this is just his imagination)#but also because she doesnt know as much about monsters and couldnt come up with a good argument for going back in#<- didnt know about prolonged digestion in red dragons and marcille assumed the interval was the same as in humans (1-3 days)#BUT...................... when everyone leaves falin turns back and goes in herself. and laios realises that shes always been that sort#of person and theres no point in ruminating over what could have been.#now. i want to believe that had they known falin would turn back without them. that at the very least shuro would have gone in with her.#theres no way he would have let her go on her own. and frankly i dont think he would have assembled his retainers#to go save laios rip...#marcille would have gone if she had known falin would turn back. and honestly i think she mightve known her well enough to guess this irl#anyways what i was GOING to say was maybe as they venture thru the dungeon shuro gets to learn more about laios thru falins view#maybe they get to know each other more and he opens up more about how he thinks of laios and like. falin is able to explain more about him#diffuse tension and give him a better understanding. like yeah hes still annoyed at him but he has a better view of how laios is#they get close and become better friends but maybe it also helps falin make up her mind and let him down gently............................#and maybe they go and save laios but the dragon thing still happens to him#and its again a 'you felt like that all along??' situation irt him wanting to be a monster but it turns out ok and they (laishuro)#open up to one another in the end.........................#but. again im gonna be real. they would not have made it that far LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO laios the goat for real
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hayaku14 · 29 days
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kuroba toichi you need to stay dead or im going to fucking kill you myself
#you sick son of a bitch#if you truly love your son you wouldnt be alive#it's bad enough that you basically left the mantle for your teenage son to take up but you actually being alive????????#you just out there living your life while your son is destroying his relationships chasing after something that you started????????#his very motivation is your death and it's not even real??? the utter fucking betrayal???#and maybe being kid has kade him a better magician and has helped him find out more about himself#but he shouldve been able to have a choice if he even wanted to be kid at all it shouldnt have been a responsibility pushed upon him#AND IF YOU ARE FUCKING ALIVE AND YOU'RE JUST WATCHING YOUR SON RUNNING AWAY FROM THE POLICE WITH PRIDE INSTEAD OF GUILT YHEN YOU CAN#GO FUCK YOURSELF#Honestly the worst#also that theory that maybe chikage is travelling the world because she KNOWS toichi is alive and she's with her elevates this fuckery into#a whole different level#anyway go read cuethesun's tomorrow and the next day#good fucking food and bad parent chikage and toichi enjoyers will be pleased ;>#lol#dc prattles#as much as i want happy everybody is alive kuroba family#i need touichi and chikage if she knows too to feel the repercussions of their horrible parenting and i need kaito to be able to let himself#feel the hurt and betrayal that he is justified to feel even if he is happy that his dad is alive#but i dont trust gosho to handle that nicely if anything i think hes gonna just handwave it and wont address it properly#anyway my point is i just need more hurt and angry kaito also if shinichi is there im happy#sorry i sneaked in a kaishin i cant stop the brainrot unfortunately theres no cure 🤚😔#ALSO DONT GET ME STARTED WITH BAD PARENT KUDOS OOOOOHHHH
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Sometimes I feel that Barnaby and Wally have this friendship like big bro/Lil bro, and Howdy being Barnabys bf has to put up with a lot of Wallys shenanigans for Barnaby (doesn't mind cause he also adores Wally I'm a big bro way)
i view them (as a trio) Similarly! though a little to the Left cause i don't view Barnaby & Wally's relationship as big/lil bro. rn to me they're very close friends - borderline queerplatonic! like... Wally is Barnaby's special little guy, yk?
so in my mind, in this trio, Wally's not exactly a. uh. third wheel to Barnaby/Howdy i suppose? oh this is difficult to translate into words - he's part of the relationship without being Part of it if that makes any sense? like of course he's gonna be With them a lot. Barnaby's not gonna be like "ok go do something else so i can make doe eyes at Howdy". that's his Little Buddy. they're gonna Include him as much as possible, i'd imagine. and i doubt Wally would mind being around while they flirt chat. he'd probably love being Barnaby's "wingman"
#and since its canon that all of the neighbors like wally - howdy would probably be delighted to have him around!#who wouldn't want to hang with him??#honestly barnaby could probably show up to one of their dates w/ wally in tow#and howdy'd be like 'oh hi wally! joining us this evening? lets go then!'#honestly i view barnaby/howdy + wally similar to like#a married couple whose best friend lives with them#thats the best analogy i can think of atm#hes very involved in my mind. barnaby is extremely important to him yk?#i like to... muddy traditional relationships and Expected Dynamics#i find it interesting and a bit more real in a way?#like not every relationship - platonic or romantic - is gonna be clear cut or 'typical'#love & relationships are much more varied and nuanced than what is more often than not portrayed#plus idk it sorta rankles when i see platonic relationships sorta sidelined or viewed as something to be 'put up with' by the romantic side#theyre important! and platonic love is not Less than romantic love. its just... different. to the Left.#am i aromantic? i might be aromantic. maybe? idk. am i? hm. something for me to Not think about <3#rambles from the bog#laughingstock#insert meme here of the three of them holding hands#picturing sally introducing them like: this is howdy & this is howdy's boyfriend barnaby & this is barnaby's best friend wally#to be very clear here i do not ship wally with anyone in the Least. like At All. i have thought and pondered on this a lot#hes so aroacepilled in my mind....#and that only frees up space for him to get Funky with his relationships hell yeah you go little buddy#hes living my dream smh. in my head at least#the imaginings i have are Different from canon obviously#which is half the fun!#in canon i hope things get messy as hell. i hope it hurts me as well as the characters#i hope the dynamics i have in my head get dashed against the rocks and then decimated by ocean waves#i hope i can look back upon these posts and cackle evilly at my past self's naivety#future me i just Know you're having a delightfully painful time. enjoy <3 ill catch up eventually <3
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lunacchi-fe3h · 1 month
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I DID IT!!!!
So in this post, I gave a little sneak peek at what I'd been working on during the month of March...and then proceeded to forget to post the completed illustration 🤣
I figured I should probably fix that LOL
I could just post the illustration itself, but instead...
How about I post the printed illustration I got signed by Chris Hackney himself????
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Once I move out, I'll have it framed and put it in my office 🥰
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rotatedaxis · 19 days
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such love for "you're begging for tissues, all you get is confetti" like, you're in need of something so simple but you're given this ineffectual thing that can't actually help you at all. it just reads as your needs are forgotten or minimised to their smallest possible point and if that isn't being treated seriously then it's mocked or can be dealt with by something small. in line with the song, your nose is bleeding and the best thing for this is tissues, but all you have is confetti, just this little thing that really isn't going to help whatsoever but it's all the help you're gonna get. And the way this comes just after "but [your friends are] all bloodsucking vampires", just adds bc it's like, well they're getting something out of your struggles but you, it's safe to say, are not having a good time. it gives this impression of people taking joy in your suffering but acting as though they aren't or are doing the absolute barest minimum in giving something that might help but, in reality, doesn't, if anything makes it worse, emotionally-speaking.
and maybe it's just me, but the whole thing feels very defeated. like whoever the character of the song is, has just been putting up with all sorts of crap for however long and is just exhausted by it all, but cover it all up "wave hello 'cause nothing's wrong" and take their "heart off of their sleeve" and just act carefree and like everything's okay when nothing is, just bury it all, they don't "get tragic" anymore (perhaps suggesting that they, along with taking their heart off their sleeve, they don't show any of their emotions anymore)
. again, maybe it's me, but "i'm gonna die before you, it's the first race that i'll win" doesn't inspire a particularly hopeful ending and maybe that ties in with being carefree and "hectic", suddenly - people who know it'll be over soon tend feel okay about it, without getting too deep into it right here right now.
maybe, the whole lot reads as a bullying narrative. talking about giving the kids "something to shout back / as the books fall out of my rucksack" and not being "everything to everyone", by trying to please everyone you please no one, so that type of people-pleasing behaviour never worked out for our character, and just resulted in, at least, teasing. "I don't take my phone off silent anymore" could suggest, if you follow this theme, that they don't want to see what people are sending them or saying to them, so you could call them but they probably won't see it or notice. And then, of course, "while your friends sing happy birthday / but they're all bloodsucking vampires" suggests fake friends and people who turn their backs when you're in need, when you'd give them your time and energy and care - they act like they care, shallow things like singing happy birthday, but won't actually help when it's needed, like our character's nosebleed for which they 'beg' for tissue, but all they get is confetti. (and the word beg suggests that they're really trying to get what they need, but to no avail, so they just have to make do with what they can get their hands on)
anyway. I don't know how much or how little sense any of this makes. all I know is all you get is confetti is an excellent song that has me in a chokehold (despite only being out for not even 5 hours at this point) and it deserves to be heard and read into and loved.
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cerealmonster15 · 7 months
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Btw u know how each union bday vignette interview had the “which dorm would you join that isn’t the one ur in now” question. Every character that dissed heartslabyul bc “the uniform/vibe is too bright” is a coward.
#ITS THE BEST UNIFORM BECAUSE ITS SO FUN AND WILD LOOKING‼️‼️‼️😭😭😭😭#idr who exactly said it but I rememebr it came up at least a few times#bc every time I was typing to my friend in chat like NOOOOOOO BAD TASTE BAD TAAAASTE😭😭😭‼️‼️‼️#but honestly what did I expect from hater school for hater boys really 😔#tbh did anyone even pick heartslabyul#I feel like just rook did#maybe Kalim also???#I feel like they’re the only ones that would appreciate heartslabyul’s FUN LOOK#idr if Kalim picked it tho. they’re the social party dorms but heastslabyuls crazy rules also scared ppl#actually. for real wait was that it#FELIX WHERE ARE YOU DO YOU HAVE CHART#I’d look them each up individually and write it out myself#but I am. at work LOL#maybe I’ll do it later if I haven’t been answered#hmmm but what can I rememebr rn#Leona picked pom. eppy tried to pick savana but Floyd didn’t let him but I forgot what he did pick after#I think mal picked igni. riddle picked dia. treycay picked octa. adeuce picked scarabia.#Jamil picked… ignihyde I think. azul picked scara. Jade picked pom I think ?#floyd picked savana? unless that was just my guess idr#same with Jade lol. vil… uhh.. diasomnia maybe? idr#rook I am p sure did heartslabyul <3 ortho…. shit idr his either. could he have picked hearts 🤔 or maybe diasomnia bc opposites idk…#I truly forget ortho I’m SORRYYYY… jack was uhhh. idr but I do know he was a hearts outfit hater lol#fuck I can’t remember what diasomnia in general did lol#I feel like idia picked dia bc it was closest in gloom vibe but maybe that’s my prediction again#hard to rememebr what the actual one was vs my initial guess lol#god I can only rememebr half of them for sure#oh maybe Epel picked igni bc of the blastcycles actually?? that sounds right#maybe. fuck idk I gotta go back to work LOL#point is rook hunt is valid ‼️‼️‼️‼️ if I remembered his pick wrong I’m gonna be upset Hshfnnffnfngndhfjfe
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villainsidestep · 2 months
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cyrus becker hates fate bc it is real and in this essay I will-
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kinard-buckley · 6 days
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a truly terrible idea has latched hold of my gremlin brain which is, buck and tommy do break up so that buck can pursue eddie because either tommy thinks buck is in love with eddie or buck feels like he should be with eddie because everyone else keeps suggesting there's something more there BUT buck/eddie getting together changes their dynamic so much that neither of them are enjoying themselves (and they're worrying about losing what made their friendship so special because of all the changes to the dynamic) AND buck and tommy keep hooking up [air quotes] platonically (with tommy stumbling into inconvenient feelings and pining pathetically for buck while fucking him) while buck struggles to sort out intense feelings toward eddie (which obviously have to be romantic of course) vs. his calm, more settled feelings toward tommy (they're not as intense as his feelings about eddie so they can't possibly be romantic) blah blah long story slightly less long but buck realizes he's been in love with tommy the whole time and was having trouble separating strong but platonic feelings for eddie from his romantic feelings toward tommy and then tommy's like "newsflash asshole i've been in love with you the whole goddamn time"
i'll never write it because it's irredeemably stupid and i value my peace but it IS sitting in my hindbrain tormenting me right now
#thank you for coming to my ted talk#i'm not tagging this bc i don't want it showing up in any show or ship tags but...............................#terrible evil plotbunny free to a good home#nobody ever writes about the friends who get together bc 'why not everyone else already thinks we're dating' and then it doesn't work out#because the dynamic changes SO MUCH that you're not sure if it was such a good idea in the first place#now add a third person to the mix that you like but aren't sure how you feel about them#not sure if eddie would be aware it's casual and non exclusive or if there'd be miscommunication leading to angst#honestly this is just me venting my frustrations with those breakup fics masqueraring as b*cktommy that have tommy#graciously sacrificing himself on the altar of b*ddie's true love and stepping aside magnanimously#that's not interesting to me to read even as a b*ddie shipper#if buck and tommy have to break up let it be real and messy because real people are real and messy#let tommy fight for buck even if it doesn't end up working out#let buck and eddie feel guilty because buck did genuinely care about tommy and eddie does like him as a friend#let tommy cut both of them off because even though he likes both of them he still has feelings and it hurts seeing them together#let tommy be petty about showing off a new love interest or fwb and how much happier he is with this guy than he was with buck#let buck wonder if he made the right choice or not bc he didn't ever want to hurt tommy#he only convinced himself tommy would be completely fine with the breakup because he needed him to be fine so that he could do it guilt fre#let eddie wonder if they made the right choice or not bc while he finally has what he's wanted for years it did hurt someone he really like#maybe it'll all work out in the end for buck and eddie AND tommy but i just want it to feel real and not overly polished and sanitized#and no one is hurt or upset or petty or flawed#anyway#i like mess#don't @ me#i might have to write this now but i don't want to be chased off with pitchforks and torches#text#shut up giallos
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unicornsaures · 2 months
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ill forever adore going through my old sketchbooks because its like going through memories i never knew i had
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remythologise · 5 months
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2023 fujoshi wrapped
you got baited 24 times
you debated the difference between queer-coding, queerbaiting and censorship in the comments section 4 times
you revisited fanfiction for 7 hit ships from the 2000s
you got blocked 5 times for tagging paragraphs of old man yaoi ship meta on unrelated text posts
you played 585 hours of video games for a combined total of 10 minutes of gay subtext and/or sex scenes
you judged a BL manga or light novel by its cover 948 times
you told 39 friends to watch 3 gay tv shows that are 'actually really really well written and enjoyable and not just gay' and 0 of them did
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bereft-of-frogs · 3 months
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I wrote a longer and more overwrought version of this post when I was slightly drunker (yay distillery book club) but the shorter, more sober-clarity version is: it's so ridiculous that about 50% of my current fandom experience is based on things that are now 25 years old (thanks for the reminder, lucasfilm) and yet I'm terrified of being left behind because I 'can't move on' from something that is now barely 5 years old
you could probably attempt to make some sort of sweeping statement about this, like the lifespan of media now versus the early 00s, but what it's really about is my own issues with abandonment which is affecting both my ability to move on (I really struggle with the 'crew breaks up between installment thing', always have) and also the general fear of behind left behind, rather than any real trends in fandom as a whole
ok I think that's enough for superb owl sunday
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whentherewerebicycles · 10 months
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question: when you're starting a new job, what do you most want out of your first week of onboarding? what's most helpful for you to know/understand upfront? also... what's not helpful? tell me your onboarding nightmare stories too lol
#i honestly do not ever think i've had a positive onboarding experience#in my entire professional life#i guess for me a lot of my early-job anxieties are around expectations and 'rules'#like i want to know what time i'm supposed to be there and what time i'm allowed to leave and what the dress code is#and how the hybrid schedule works#so i don't make dumb mistakes right away#i also think i want to be involved in the real work as early as possible#like i don't have to be DOING anything yet but i want to be watching people do things and shadowing in meetings#so i can start to develop a sense of who's who and what the actual work of the office/workplace looks like#and also because i really value getting a feel for personalities as early as possible lol i want to know what the vibes are#hmm and also maybe most importantly#i feel like in any new situation i need a very loose conceptual framework to hold the new information being given to me#otherwise it's just random pieces of info you know? like it's helpful when someone is actively helping me fit information into a frame#like they're saying 'here's the HUGE picture - now let's zoom in and start looking at this one corner of it - and as we add new corners#i'll actively help you fill in the connective tissue that holds these different parts of the big picture together'#hmmm#my worst onboarding experiences have been when the person training me comes in and throws lots of#long complex extremely context-dependent documents or readings at me#and is like ok spend the week reading those and get back to me#and i'm like ??????????#i have NO understanding of what my role is or how this organization functions#at this point it is not helpful for me to pass my eyes over tons of dense info without a guide to tell me what's important#i have no way of gauging of something is important or trivial and then i feel stressed like i have to learn ALL of it#even though i know that a huge portion of it will end up being not that relevant to my day-to-day job
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andrrrgynous · 3 months
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i had been hyped for the mannequin pussy album from the second they released the first single but the ai thing put me off so bad that now that the album comes out in 2 days i almost couldnt care less
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irritablepoe · 5 months
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I think someone needing a hug from me alone would fix me
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my-thoughts-and-junk · 11 months
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Sometimes I see sexuality or gender headcanons about characters and im just like dude im pretty sure they don't know what half those words mean
#random thoughts#'robbie valentino is panromantic demisexual' he looks like a self-described emo kid who would call me slurs in high school#yeah sure MAYBE he's those things but does he have the words for them? absolutely fucking not are you kidding me#and even if he did he would NOT use them. he's like those cishhet girls who make out with other cishet girls when they're drunk#he'd have like one homoerotic penpal througout high school and they're sending each other letters like it's the fucking victorian age#practicing calligraphy and shit (it's just cursive but even more completely illegible)#robbie DOES give off demisexual energy though. he'd just call it having taste#and he would bully people in his school who call themselves that#not like physically but emotionally. mean girl energy.#honestly the gravity falls teen friend group gives off that super emotionally abusive energy#like they talk shit about other people in their school and think they're above everyone else#except thompson he just gets like really quiet and awkward#let's be real robbie had an antagonistic relationship with a fucking twelve year old he's not thinking about gender or sexuality#he'll think about it for like five seconds before going 'that was weird let's go make flamethrowers out of old hairspray cans'#he would make fun of gender non-conforming students to distract people from the fact he's wearing eyeliner#he puts on eyeliner for the first time like 'huh. time to push this to the back of my brain for the next five years'#also robbie dyes his hair. that's canon. unrelated but i think it's funny#gravity falls#his middle name is fucking stacey???
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