#8th grade wasnt even bad ?

[unicornsaures]

ill forever adore going through my old sketchbooks because its like going through memories i never knew i had

[bzjohndory]

BEGGING YOU TO TALK ABOUT DINER AU VELVET AND VENEER..............

AUSFSHHHHH

Okay theyre pretty well off but i don’t see them as well liked or popular at least in their school life

I have them set as teenagers so perhaps around the 8th-10th grade? Not quite sure!

I think they’re quite infamous in school for having tone deaf singing >-|o mocked for it, not quite bullied but enough to do numbers for their self esteem

One of the earliest concepts for them is that they’re very bad students like. Academically. Velvet has a bit of a temper to protect her and her brother but rarely goes too far and veneer is well behaved albeit it only helps him get away with stunts he does pull. But they came into contact with Floyd back when Floyd was still in college and offering to tutor students, Floyd would have them come by to the diner to help them study which usually ended with Velvet usually being frustrated and Veneer understanding the concept more thanks to someone’s guidance

Again… AU is very comfort focus.. if u dislike how i portray their characteristics in a lighthearted manner mbad but it is the whole point of brozone diner >-|o

Velvet and Veneer have very rich but id say absent parents. Not to say they weren’t cared for or unloved not in the slightest they were given the best opportunity to succeed thanks to their parents, but it left them feeling neglected when it came to emotional validation when their parents were busy working. They had each other with came to be enough for younger brother Veneer who had nothing but his older sister but not enough for Velvet who desperately wanted to prove herself to genuinely shine and grab the attention of everyone so she wouldn’t have to be considered a nobody with no talent

Unfortunately stealing troll talent is not a thing, and already being bad at school and finding out your tutor is a talented secret emo rock soloist is a bit detrimental to someone who already feels like a jab to ur gut

I imagine that while veneer grew a bit attached to floyd as floyd was a much more stable and affirming figure in his life, velvet couldn’t open her self up to floyd cause not only did floyd have everything velvet want in terms of talent but there wasnt a day that went by that velvet didnt wish to just magically be on par with singing as Floyd

Velvet probably had an outburst of being jealous over Floyd but Floyd offered to give her and her brother singing and voice training lessons, Floyd doesnt really serve as a talent reserve in bzdiner unlike the movie but instead takes on a nurturing stance with the two siblings as he’s helps them improve. So no! Velvet and veneer do not go to jail but they frequent the diner often and esp show up every karaoke night. Veneer is still close to floyd and velvet while more willing to open herself up, simply just has appreciation for floyd for helping her even if she can still be pushy

Plus they’re filthy rich, they tip enormous amounts cause they’re aware they have money but not wholly conscious of the value a 100$ tip is to a waiter

I still think they could grow to become pop stars, just in this AU a bit more earnestly! They’re not like the most pleasant to be around they’re still definitely annoying they’re kids after all but at the end of the day they kind of just come off as naive wannabe stars who don’t know their place in the world outside of the limelight, quite pleased to have Floyd as a stable figure for them

I dont really imagine floyd as a super gentle guy but he is better at handling children, makes sure to reassure and serve comfort to them, and if they’re being brats he’ll let them know in his own snarky behavior

But i have a big soft spot for velvet i imagine that velvet is a bit closer to john dory than she is to floyd becasue john dory can connect to her better to feeling worth nothing when you havent proved yourself yet

But tldr:

Velvet and Veneer have no talent no friends no smarts but instead of leaching off a troll floyd helps them practice their voices, gives them advice on how to he a good friend and helps them study

They’re still bettering themselves with fkoyd just. A nuch more lighthearted take on their dynamic!

[jasmineqw]

The world is yours.

Tony Montana! Soft reader. Innocent reader. Preteen! Reader. Reader has childhood trauma. Reader being overstimulated(stressed) Soft! Tony. Slightly manipulative Tony - Out of plot (a little -) Platonic! Tony + mentions of guns, death, kidnapping? Reader has amnesia. Foreign reader! (You can choose where.) reader isnt good at english. Bold = native language.

(Tony himself deserves a warning!!)

Around the World

———————————————————————

Barely really turning 14, just now about to end the second and final course of the 7th grade, you were just now getting into 8th grade after the summer/ winter break schools were giving.

But overall you had a complex relationship with your family. Being oversheltered, barely actually leaving your house other than going to school was all. It was that bad,

It was only when you went around the world after meeting him. But before

You almost failed english because it was so difficult. You always talked in native. Never english, when you had only really learned a few simple phrases in english, you and your parents had taken a trip to a state nearby the country, maybe the coast or wherever it took you by car, but no. Instead. Or by plain,

To America.

But it was only after a freak accident. The car crash had caused memory loss, the car flipping parents were fortunate enough to only really suffer with a few bruises yet you had hit your head and maybe even almost flew out the car but the worst thing was hitting your head somewhere a little, too hard.

So it was where after you discharged from the hospital you just tried regaining memory, as best as possible. Your father was an aristocrat, he had taken you to Cuba with him to do his business with him there, he worked in a business. With him being the CEO of it however.

He had involved himself with the underworld, the gangsters. And he had picked the wrong man to fuck with,

“Montana, his name is montana.”

———————————

But you wished you were home, letting a soft tear run down your ear. Looking at the rugged man before you cooing in spanish,

You almost believed it you gave up feeling the tenderness he was giving you, “I never expect to be so lucky n shit.”

“I get a innocent flower.” He paused. “To myself,”

His finger ran down your tear soaked face. A hand holding your head steady, “Your shitbag of a father aint here,” He wiped your tears away, looking at how you wouldnt stop shaking, even when you seemed so hesitant you werent pushing him off. Incoherent , mumbles of broken english didnt reach him, his arm going around your shaking shoulders he pulled you next to him,

Until you broke down.

You were sobbing, the ache of feeling the anklet harsh against your ankle,

He had you captive since he drugged you, breaking you into being his now, he had taken you by force, all the way back to this mansion. No one was ever going to find you ever again. If you escaped he’d use the anklet, to shock you.

But you were good,

Never once scrunching your nose or face at him, not moving away from him when he comforted you. When he gave you food you sat and ate. You were polite in asking him to go use the toilet, you were kind, he remembered before he drugged you. The way you played with the stray kitten near the park he found you alone in near where your father seemed to be taking a phonecall.

Even when he set you on the bed, you didnt hit him. Or scream. Or push away, you only ever defied when he would be sudden. Trauma reaction;

But he soothed he wasnt here to hurt you. And your scumbag of a father was at fault.

All of them were dead. He put a bullet to your fathers head afterall. You didnt have to go anywhere ever again. A trip to all around the world.

Anything or anywhere you want or want to go.

He would give you anything as long as you stayed and never attempted to escape. He wouldnt want to hurt his sweet girl.

But deep down he didnt have any intentions for you. Nothing ill, only good. He kidnapped you, he knew what shit environment you were in.

In his beliefs and twisted feelings he believed kidnapping you meant protecting you from the world.

His pretty mija was all safe with him now. Even if he didnt have a valid reason, why he kept you captive.

He had you now.

(Short fic)

[charlieisacastle]

today has been shit both irl and online so i feel like talking about what forcing someone to out themselves by making them feel like a bad person does to them as someone who's been through it myself

when i was in 8th grade, i was experimenting with my gender. i was going by a masculine name and was known as a "boy" by some ppl irl

however my best friend didnt really get it. she saw it as me "catfishing" ppl. and for the longest time i saw it that way too...i still sometimes do tbh...its hard to stop believing all the hate you've been fed you know?

my bff got close to a girl that knew the masculine me and as time went on she started being "uncomfortable" about "lying" to her about who i "truly" was.

she started intentionally or unintentionally slipping up and using my deadname or just acting like i was hiding something that the other girl Deserved™ to know. we had many fights over it and i felt horrible. i didnt understand why it was such a big deal for them to know my "real" gender but i felt like a liar and a terrible person

it got to a point where the friend demanded to know the secret by publicly making a scene and almost putting her life in danger. and my friend telling me that if i dont tell her, she will.

so i had to out myself as "a girl" just to escape this guilt i was feeling. the guilt of lying to ppl, putting their life in danger bc it was Obviously my fault (it wasnt), and being a "catfish"

i never recovered from that. i shelved my gender questions after that until i was 19. and even then i didnt come out to anyone irl until i was 20 bc i was scared that i was lying to them somehow and "what if im not actually nonbinary and am making it up?" but also "they deserve to know bc if i dont tell them then im a bad person and catfishing them"

i was always comfortable with experimenting with my gender, after that, i wasnt. and its still a process to unpack all of the guilt i carry with me to this day.

i didnt get to experiment in peace, or just be who felt like being in that moment without labeling myself. i felt forced to come out bc i felt guilty and ppl made me feel like they Deserved to know "the truth"... a truth i myself didnt even understand at the time...

i dont think being angry at the people who forced kit to come out is gonna change anything. they are absolutely horrible people for doing it yes, but i dont think they r mature enough to understand why it was the wrong thing to do in the first place tbh. if they were they wouldn't demand him to come out

but i hope that for the rest of us, it can serve as a reminder to not judge people based on stereotypes and force them to share information they dont want to or arent ready to do so yet.

i hope everyone including kit and the bi/pan ppl in the fandom feel better soon. i love you guys a lot and please take care 💚

[tannieastrology]

Ranting about my crush

This is gonna be a long rant so be prepared! I’m gonna start by telling you our placements.

He is a Gemini Rising, Cancer Sun, Capricorn Moon, Leo Venus, Virgo Mars

I am a Libra Rising, Aquarius sun, Scorpio Moon, Capricorn Venus, Gemini Mars

So about three or four years ago in 6th grade I had met him in school because we had a class together for history. At first sight I never really thought much of him. He wasn’t my type (he’s very short) and we never talked much. He was just any other boy I knew in class and I remember actually liking an upperclassman at the time.

A year later in 7th grade the feelings for the upperclassman went away and I was crush-free. Me and him joined crosscountry for the first semester and we started talking a little more. It wasn’t much, I mean, I can only remember talking to him like 3 or 4 times, but everytime we talked he was always harsh and sarcastic. Maybe it was because I was a top athlete and student at the time so maybe he was bitter because he was struggling in athletics? I’m not sure because honestly, I’m still trynna figure that out. He was always supportive when I ran though and I can remember the times when he used to cheer me on. We had no classes together and we were not important to each others lives at all. Thats all I can remember from our interactions that year.

Now the third year, which was 8th grade last year, was when things started to change. I had about four classes with him and we also had extracurriculars outside of school like choir and athletics. I used to talk to his friends and they used to tease me a lot because thats just how we talk to each other. I guess he saw I was comfortable with their bickering so he got in on it and now, that’s our regular way of talking because that’s how we bonded. Our relationship is weird to say the least. Its like provoking the other gives a certain satisfaction. The constant insults, the competitiveness, the jokes, and time spent together all eventually made me fall for him. It wasnt until my birthday in January that made me realize I liked him. No happy birthday came through from him, but then again, we’re not close. After that, everything he did started to do upset me. It made me wonder. Why does he talk to me like that? Does he hate me? Or do I hurt his ego? It was just that he actually started to insult me and started to make sterotypical racist jokes even when I asked him countless of times to stop. Cause I’m Indian and he’s Vietnamese right, so he thought it was okay to make those types of jokes because he’s asian too. The fact that I like him made me more sensitive to what he said compared to other people. Because he never talks to anyone else like that and we werent even that close for him to be talking to me in that way. Each day my mood depended on how he talked to me. I got obsessed and I used to zone out wondering if he liked me back. What made everything more complicated was that he liked 2 other girls. The first girl was my friend. They liked each other in 6th grade but they were too shy to approach each other. When 7th grade came around he started liking the 2nd girl. He was really down bad for the second girl and still is. My friend had asked him out during the first semester but he said no because he like the 2nd girl more. Throughout the year all of our laughs and bickering eventually had alot of people shipping us including my science teacher because they think we have a enemies to lovers relationship. All I can say is that he had me on edge. Ive never felt this strongly about anyone before. He was nice one day when he needed answers and then the next day he was back to annoying me. I’m not gonna lie sometimes it was really cute but a majority of the times he crossed the line. So much happened within the year that I cant even explain everything but all I know is that I’m down bad.

Now freshman year has rolled around. I have no classes with him which is great because I’m trying to move on but its not working. The girl he’s liked for three years got asked out by his best friend to homecoming and I’m sitting here hoping for more. In the summer I talked to him over text and told him to back off the insults which clearly didnt work. I tried to ignore him and be nice to him so many times but he always comes back and bothers me. And this bitch always stares at me so intensely like he wants to kill me. Its frustrating that he got me stuck in this endless loop of mind games. I dont know how things are gonna end up. Ive held this in for so long I just needed to let it out. Thank you for listening.

Heres the synastry and composite chart in case yall want to see. He’s blue and I am red

I’d love to hear about your story of unrequited crushes! Please leave a comment and tell me what you think of him and why he acts like that!

-Simi

[the-ark-awaits]

sometimes i think about the first couple times i played undertale. i was in 8th grade, on a crappy laptop, playing a pirated copy bc i was a broke child who no one would buy the game for. i didnt go in completely blind, i knew certain things like chara being the true name and like. gaster existing bc the fandom was insane for gaster in the day, and that there was a pacifist and geno route, but i didnt know details yet really.

i went into asriels fight w/o knowing shit and was fucking devastated for a moment during the lost soul bit because i thought for a moment that i only got to save one and i had to pick (i picked toriel cause shes mom and theres a whole other thing going on there with me and obligation bc i really wanted to save papyrus)

and then i went on the play nothing but pacifist like 5 times, one time i played on that laptop, on my significantly smaller than average arrow keys, in a moving car on an 8 our car trip. beat photoshop flowey like that and then get back to me

anyways i think its kinda neat. like, i felt *bad* resetting to play again but i was always getting the best ending. i never even get any of the neutral endings bc it was spoiled for me going in that you werent supposed to kill anyone

at some point, id seen the geno ending, and it mad me feel sick and i didnt wanna do it, but my little siblings wanted to try and play it. i made a deal with them basically that they could try and play it, but i wasnt gonna help. i did end up trying to help bc they got stuck on undyne the undying and that fights honestly a banger, but i couldnt beat her either. i cant remember if i ever reset after that or if it just stayed like that, because not long after that laptop literally melted.

anyways i think about this a lot. theres like... symbolism in there somewhere but its like 5am and i havent slept so...

[tsubasaclones]

elementary school sucked because the person I thought was my best friend was suddenly revealed to just be pretending so she could make fun of me, and like I had to continue on like nothing happened because 90% of my friends were Also friends with her I dont even know if they knew because if they did they certainly didnt care! And I like gaslit myself into thinking it wasnt that bad and she was still my friend

And then in middle school a similar thing happened where suddenly like a year into knowing the person I considered to be my best friend she started straight up screaming loudly at me (in our homeroom classroom of all places) if I tried to talk to her and then she would vacillate wildly between absolute vitriol and pretending like we had always been fine. Probably in 8th grade it was at least somewhat my fault because I thought if I was annoying on purpose it would hurt less when she got annoyed (it did not.) And like, again, a lot of my friends were friends with her and didnt care so what was i supposed to do? And in highschool she upgraded to straight up pretending i didnt exist, like during this time she had a class with my sister and became friends with her and my sister got mad at me when I asked her to not talk about that friend around me because of how she treated me. But then in 12th grade we were at a table together in a class so she couldnt pretend i didnt exist and all of the sudden I'm fine in her eyes again...

And then I wonder why I get so paranoid about peoples intentions 😅

[lazaruspiss]

Justice League x RW/BY: Super Heroes and Huntsmen (Part One)

gonna be honest i kinda keep forgetting that this movie exists. the animation and music is very... rw/by. for better or for worse. corny quippy one liners. it's very corny. adding a cut bc this'll probably get a bit rambly.

AHHH THE FLASHBACK IS A STILL FRAME. the first thing to make me laugh wasnt even a joke it was the single still frame flashback. well. there was a slight zoom?

it's trying to be funny so bad its trying so hard. the serious dialogue is corny but could be worse. overall its better than the crossover comics? making the DC characters teenagers seems pointless.

oh god the dialogue is so hammy. the fists are hammed. weiss good and weiss dad bad yes i noticed. christ im only 8 minutes in. physically recoiling at some of the jokes. like its nothing jokes its nothinggg.

IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE BRUCE? he's been on screen for like 10 seconds and he already sounds and acts like "wealthy teenage tiktok star tries to pander to the less ~economically privileged~" and god it keeps going it hasnt even been a minute yet. did they make them teenagers bc otherwise bruce wouldve run off and found some little boy to help him solve everything without the help of anyone else. is that why. bc honestly yeah adult bruce is hard to write into a team setting.

bruce continues to be embarrassing but also. im learning that the still image flashbacks are just a thing thats gonna happen in this movie. style wise its very much a rw/by movie, so its just probably not gonna hit for me. its the kind of show i watched in middle school and grew out of by 8th grade. even then, my interest kind of started and ended with the character design and the basic world building elements. emphasis on basic, trying to understand the more in depth aspects is a bit of a waste of time.

oh and im still at the 10 minute mark. "ive already gone through all the other dc x rw/by content" i thought, "might as well watch the movies" i thought.

i think theyre trying to write bruce doing a smart detective thing? unfortunately rw/by is very bad at writing people doing smart things. 1) cant stand bruces voice in this 2) god hes so annoying and this whole scene is embarrassing to watch.

GAHH. THE SAME FLASHBACK FRAME CLARK HAD BUT ZOOMED OUT THIS TIME. true cinema. and i think theyre alluding to time travel as well as dimension travel, so even the rw/by girls get to have weird "we're not where we should be" flashbacks.

diana manhandles the small boy, fun. it also rife with required reading bc if you arent fully dedicated to keeping track of all rw/by lore then fuck you. these movies dont seem to require much DC knowledge but they cram in a lot of references to rw/by lore that i only know from video essays put out by ex-fans.

hey guys did u remember that yang is lesbian. pretty cool right? right?? this movie is going by so slow.

MARI IS THAT YOU?? and jess... girls u deserve a better movie. oh vic got braids? nice. also that joke was nothing. all the jokes are nothing.

the best jokes so far have been. the ones about how convoluted and hard to get into rw/by is. because of course. sigh. i do think the DC characters are better utilized and integrated than they were in the comics at least. seeing mari and jess get animated is really cool, and overall i like the redesigns. a few of the characters have commented on suddenly being deaged but mari's acknowledgement of it is the first to feel like a natural line of dialogue rather than exposition.

montage of bruce learning to use his bat powers so that they can get that out of the way before he joins the rest of the group. separate things that were already discussed being re-discussed so that we can have a "everyone talks at once scene". they. what. huh? they had a normal conversation that landed on "lets split into groups since theres enough of us to reasonably do that. then they have an argument which ends at the exact same conclusion.

are they really gonna have a "yang thinks diana is hot and blake gets jealous" plot line? really? and another love triangle. cy tries to ask nora to explain this worlds weapons, noras boyfriend(?) gets mad and then cy gets mad back and ends up being the one everyone gets upset with. it feels a bit. just. super uncomfortable. cy wasnt flirting he was just. talking to nora.

oh thank god that bit is over. now back to jess! possibly the most interesting character here. her design is probably my least favorite of the bunch tho, just because it feel a bit... too anime? it reminds me too much of my danganronpa phase, lol.

jaune doing plot device things. jess introspection. its not the most interesting thing but its better than uh. whatever happened with cy earlier. sorry im still thinking about that. i think they were just going for hormonal and temperamental teenager moment but it uh. came off weird.

plot twist everything was uh. void. ptsd monster things. the plots about to get convoluted isnt it.

diana is pretty decently fleshed out in this one. and it looks like they didnt lean into the diana being hot as a source of relationship conflict that much aside from a few jokes, thank god.

for fucks sake shut up jaune i dont care about your dead girlfriend.

back to the monster fighting group, dear god theyre doing one of those. 2 guys fight over girl who goes "umm i can take care of myself >:(". GOD SHUT UP. FUCK. ITS A JEALOUS LOVE TRIANGLE PLOT. please let this die sooner rather than later.

bruce describes everything that was just established. bruce is emo. weiss tries to be nice. then back to jess and jaune. "i didnt realize how much i miss this place" yeah well i sure dont miss it. oh pyrra, however your name is spelled, you were the only character death that meant anything. now if only they didnt degrade her story into being all about jaune even in death.

have weiss and bruce just been on the computer this whole time. at least they eventually get a fight scene. lesbians to the rescue time. stuff and things. i still dont care and jaune. fuckin. creator self insert ass. he was originally comic relief/audience surrogate but turned into way too much of a main character. god jess deserves her own movie.

weiss please stop trying to recruit him this is just embarrassing. is this gonna be a whole thing? bruce deciding between earth and remnant? and god you cant put anime style gags in the middle of a serious scene. oh god theyre making bruce insecure about not having powers like the rest of the league. man who could've seen that coming. christ theres still 20 minutes left. FUCK AND A WHOLE SECOND MOVIE.

jess remains the coolest bitch in this movie. god why couldnt it be a jess green lantern movie.

lesbians on motorcycles, blah blah fight scene. oh god we're pretending batman is cool. fake flash? wheres real barry then :/ christ. they think this is a cool twist. tho possessed barry is pretty fun. god the actual canon explanation for making them teens was bc kilg%re figured the hormones would make them easier to fuck with.

obligatory "even teens can be leaders" speech. the determination of humanity or whatever.

HAAA BRUCE AND BARRY MORSE CODE COMMUNICATION. ok thats cute.

so smth smth final battle but theres a mysterious second bad guy so that they still have content for a second movie. i like how they show vixen's powers, that parts fun. jess does main character thing and kills big bad. bruces conflict about going home is resolved. cy goes and makes amends with nora and guy who likes nora, despite guy who likes nora being the one to cause all the conflict in the first place. they make the go home portals. set up for next movie.

[just-an-artist-that-exists]

just starting to realize that my 8th grade year was fucking miserable 💀

my friend group disbanded

i made 4 friends but theyre a grade lower than mine

i got covid (which wasnt too bad but still was bad)

my cartilage is broken and i cant walk properly for a year now

cried significantly more than i did 7th grade

i feel like my friends talk to me when i respond to their stories or they want something from me

and i felt like im absolutely worthless bc of my inability to walk at all

i also feel worthless if i cant complete anything for anyone even myself

also feeling horrible when someone dislikes my interests and even talking about it sometimes

and thats a fucking wrap of how i've been in the 8th grade holy shitter fucker

i have low expectations for freshman year in highschool 💀

[n0ct0urn1quet]

all

christ that was fast AKJLSDJKLJKLKLJG but okay <3 i wasnt expecting an ask 2 be sent already but . okay !!!

blush— are you single, taken, crushing, or not interested? or is it complicated?

taken :] @510snake

ballet slipper— with only one word, describe how you feel at this moment

ouch :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

rose quartz— what’s your love language (romantic or platonic)?

i dont rly know !!!!!!!! ig. uhhh. like. physical affection <3

watermelon— have you ever had to reject anyone romantically? how did it go?

i guess ? sure? yeah?

there was this guy in elementary school who liked me and even though i didnt like him i felt like I Had To "Date" Him n when i was finally like "we arent together im just pretending to like you because i dont want you to be upset" he did a number of not good things and was a bit uhhhhhhhh Not Very Nice to me + my friends n was a dick to me all throughout 8th grade and punched one of my friends . all of that because i.............................rejected him in . 5th grade. normal!

but as for like actual genuine relationships SHDKJHJKJG i havent rejected anyone romantically <3

fuchsia— describe your personality in three words!

hehe warrior cat

(in all seriousness i have no idea how to describe my personality bc my personality is so based off of other peoples traits that i dont know who i actually am or what my genuine personality is yippee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

rose— do you believe in soulmates? why or why not?

i guess sure !!!!!!!!!!!! idk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

coral— what’s something you’re passionate about?

wraior cats,, , , ,. ,..,

carnation— how important are “looks” to you in a relationship?

tbh i dont rly care what anyone looks like as long as they . like. arent a jerk <3 looks r not important 2 me at All (but . looks at my gf ,,,,,,,,,, u prety,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,)

blossom— would you get a tattoo? if so, what would it be of?

i donot want any tattoos <3

salmon— would you prefer a partner who is an introvert or an extrovert? why?

either i donot care KSLJDKLKJLG am not picky <3

pastel pink— do you prefer to dress up and go out or stay in and relax?

both!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it depends!!!!!!!!!!!!! rn i wanna stay in bed n sleep and not move at all bc i am in immense physical pain and i can barely walk bc of my legs but other times i want to leave the house so bad its unreal!!!!!!!!!! so SKDJLKLJKLJG

bubblegum— how do you feel about your love life right now? are you happy with it?

am habby :] i lob my gf :] my csrimbly,,,, my skrinkly,,, :]

champagne— what’s your favorite form of physical affection, if any at all?

k,,.isses,,,, ,.. . ,,,, h,, hannd,,. hodling,,g,.,,,.,.,,,,, ca,,rresssing,,,g,, ,, .., ., , , , ,. , , hug,,s,..,.,,, ,, , . sn,,s nugl,,.,ing ,, , , ,,.,., ,, , .,,

hibiscus— what’s your favorite pet name, if any? why?

i like . hon :] or honey,,,,,,,,, both of thos make me go :]

hot pink— what’s your favorite relationship trope?

i donbt fucgking know !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

flamingo— would you say you’re clingy in relationships and friendships?

very <3

cherry pink— when it comes to loved ones, are you openly affectionate or are you more reserved?

openly affectionate <333333 VERY openly affectionate <3333333333

peach syrup— have you ever had an internet crush on a mutual on this app or another app?

looks at my gf

(who i met online)

((on tumblr actually))

(((and we've been together for like 4 years since)))

((((so the answer to this question is yes))))

pink magnolia— would you say that you develop crushes quickly?

nope <3

[ghostwithmostbabe]

Why I am a Loser

I feel like a HUGE loser. But I always have felt this way. Sometimes there are moments where its not as severe of a feeling but normally it tends to always loom over me.

I am a cancer and I feel like that has a lot to do with it. So in some way I guess thats where that feeling started, at birth. I was a very shy and quiet kid and by the time I started middle school I already established myself in that unpopular role in my mind. For a few brief moments in middle school I was confident and outgoing. No one really was a fan of that and it wasnt me anyway. The popular girls talked down to me with a certain pity, the boys didnt talk to me at all if they could avoid it and the few friends I did have were just as much losers as I was. During that time a girl named Emily tried to throw me in trash can because she thought it was funny, I did not think so. In my early middle school years I had a best friend called Maja. Weve grown so far apart over the years but she remains one of my biggest comforts. She was as much my only friend as I was hers in those years, I guess that remains important. We got made fun of for basically anything countless times, sometimes deserved to be honest. We are guilty of some pretty cringey stuff. I loved Maja. But this is not about how I am a mistreated outcast, this is how I am a LOSER, so it happened what eventually had to happen and I abandoned Maja at the first chance of becoming friends with the most popular girls in my grade. Two girls, Emily and Eleni. One, Eleni, was popular for her looks (an 8th graders body should not look like this) and the other, Emily, for her outstanding humor and personality. The huge problem about this unlucky trio was that Emily and Eleni were inseparable best friends. Summarized, I had a pretty shitty time. Started wearing makeup for the first time and even bought a leggings. The only reaction this piece of clothing ever elicited from a boy was on a week long class trip, where I entered a room in those very leggings and Daniel said "ew", followed by "why does nothing ever look good on you, Josie?". Got to be honest, that one was a pretty hard blow. Apparently, because here I am writing about it 6 years later. Whenever I would show up anywhere with my two new bestfriends, thered be humored faces and at least one snide comment about how weird I am. No one understood why Emily and Eleni where dragging me around. I wasnt as funny as Emily and I sure as hell wasnt as pretty as Eleni. I started to ask myself that same question when Emily and Eleni started treating me with as much disregard as the others did. Emily started to make me look bad and compare herself to me vocally in front of boys and cooler people. She would point out my flaws and everything weird about me and laugh about them with others in front of me. Once I caught both Emily and Eleni whispering and when I asked them what they were talking about they said they were just wondering how someone like me has a boyfriend and they dont. Shucks. I decided to leave this trio when I was about 15. Right around the time my boyfriend broke up with me.

My boyfriend at the time had this group of friends who I somewhat befriended during our 4 week relationship. After I dismissed myself from that hellish trio my closest friendships were to those random boys who I only knew in passing. So I sat with them during lunch until I actually befriended them and what do you know we were the greatest of friends. I was the happiest Id been since elementary school or something. One of them even became my very best friend. I finally had real friends that I really liked and who didnt treat me like shit. The only problems was, they were boys and I was not and they made that part very hard to miss. I started to get left out a little. Only a little. Sometimes they just wanted "to be with the boys today". I cried a lot about not being born a boy during that time in my life. But I was also 15 and you cry about everything when youre 15. Well one fateful day during lunch, a now teenaged Emily sits herself down at our table. I, who had up until that point developed a strong hatred against her, was furious. But the boys loved her. Except for my best friend. She was loud and outgoing and would talk a lot about sex. It was very irritating to me. She was the type of person to state her opinion and expect everyone to take it as fact. She started attending our regular hangouts and I was over it. Until she randomly decided to take a trip to Amsterdam. When she came back she was different. I saw her the day she returned and that was the day I knew I was in fact not over it.

We were sixteen and I just got together with my second boyfriend, Fritz. Popular and strikingly good looking (Emily would disagree), Fritz was a real catch and my social status flipped upside down when I entered this relationship. Up until this point Emily and I had carefully and slowly build up a friendship. She wasnt the loud and obnoxious social light I knew anymore, she was quiet, understanding and constantly in a state of anxiety. We understood each other. We courted each other. It was something so very soft and gentle. Like a morning sun quietly rising. I loved her. I loved her more than I could have ever loved Fritz. Until this day I have not felt love akin to what I felt towards Emily In those years. My letters where made to bring her to tears, everything I said made to make her smile. She was the most important thing. We hugged, I cut her hair, we kissed. I wouldve taken out an army for her but I was too scared to think about this being more than a friendship.

Then she got a boyfriend, John, who she loved dearly. Her love for me became less and less while my love for her turned into obsession. I would act on her whim and cry myself to sleep. I fantasized about murdering her for a time. It was the only thing on my mind. Not out of anger but out of true love. Time did its thing and me and my Fritz broke up. I was alone for a short while before Emily and John also parted ways. My desperate hope of returning to this state of a rising sun was quickly relinquished when Emily found another boyfriend, Felix. How I hated Felix. Not only did he get the love of my life to softly and tenderly hold in his vile hands but he crushed her the moment he first touched her. His touch. It should have been so kind. But he was a man. And he hurt her. When he came up to me at a party telling me he wants to be friends because we both love Emily I laughed in his face. What a cruel joke. That was the day I decided I wanted him to die. If I happened to not be a Loser I might have actually done it. Emily, the love of my life, crying over a man who would not do anything for her. I started to feel insulted. Here I was giving her everything in my power, showering her with my love and she was dismissing me? Putting Felix above me? How could she be so blind? Felix was the end of us. Our love now far from the morning sun. She was not able to see my love anymore, she had had too much too many times. But I was physically unable to stop. I love her so much. If I restrain myself, she doesnt notice, if I love her harder, she does not notice. I want to slave away for her until eternity, if she would love me back again. Cant she see that I am looking for the slightest bit of appreciation. Im like a dog, crawling, howling, scratching for just a tiniest bit to keep me going. I need her. And I fear if she does not need me back soon I am going to stay like this all my life. This shell. Hollow thing. Just tell me what I have to do Emily, Id do it all for you.

[inner-space-oddity]

I keep thinking about that one time in 8th grade when it was super nice out, like early spring weather where it’s actually warm and sunny and breezy for once, and i asked my teacher if i could sit by the window cause my adhd was bothering me (lowkey a lie, the real reason was because sunshine makes me less depressed, and I was Very depressed), and she said no

on one hand thats ableist and bad but on the other hand i was lying lol

but on the other Other hand, i feel like sitting by the window wasnt even a big deal. like. Sure i wasnt the best, most obedient in the class, but there was no one back there i would have chatted with more. i just wanted to enjoy the fresh air and feel something that wasnt self-hatred and existential dread lol

idk. i just think about that sometimes.

[laborreguitazul]

Psych Unit and Then Homeless Stories of my 30s

I been missing for a while because I been in a psych unit. In this psych unit there would be 30 patients me being one of them. I ended up having 4 roomates in the span of 2 weeks which seems to be my stay.

I stayed in the psych unit from 10/20/22-11/11/22 no idea what that is in human weeks or months since time just seems to morph into this never ending blob of Deja Vu. You get a crap ton of Deja Vu while you are in the psych unit, it seems like you are repeating the same days again and again and at times with different faces.

I had dreams with people that ended up becoming true and I ended up meeting this one girl I had a dream with that same morning I met her around 4 am right after I woke up from the dream that I saw her with her wild hair and her light eyes. I won't say who you are but you know who you are. Wild and free plant and bottle collector! I miss you so much, thanks for all those nice things that you said about me in group. I am not used to hearing compliments at all. I am used to dishing out the compliments not actually getting anything back. I am usually the one that gives it all in any relationships and don't really get much back. I might get a thanks but that's about it nothing really that amazes me like the amount of things you said about me, I am not used to hearing how smart I am.

I did keep hearing this in the psych ward, End you sure are something, you are very smart. You can read and write in 3 languages. Even though my Korean in my opinion is very infantile and I do mess up so bad with English but English to be honest is one of the hardest languages I had to learn.

There are other patients that helped me a lot mainly during the times I kept breaking and crying like a freaking Magdalena and also I ended up spiraling down when I smelled burnt hair it reminded me of 9/11 and I had to smell the air from even 45 minutes from where it was and I could see the towers from my town and I could see the fact that they were not there any more. I thought that I put that way and was over with it until I smelt burnt hair and it reminded me of the smell of those 3 months of infernal doom that NY and NJ had to put up with. The smell lingered that long if my memory servers me right and it was horrible.

I can't take away the smell of burnt hair, bodies, and fuel from my mind I realized I had not addressed it until I was in the psych unit and people were shocked that I had to live through that they couldn't see it because they were in PA but it still affected the rest of the country but the fact that I got to see it as it happened was just a lot also I was a child when this happened. I was in 8th grade sure not too small but young enough that shapes and changes the way you think. That is the main reason that I am Childfree because the world changed a lot after that.

Now how am I homeless? Well you see my family is very abusive mainly my mother who is a narcissist at times she admits she has an issue but other times she pretends not to . My brother well he keeps to himself mainly he said he was going to lock me in the basement with dishes I couldnt do because I was having a carpal tunnel flair up in my arm and I also was sick with Acne Inversa and I was on some heavy antibiotics for that but to them that didnt seem to matter. That every time I moved it hurt. And my mother tried hitting me with a hot skillet that had oil in it she is small but since she is my mother I am not able to put my hands on her or really defend myself because it will be seen as my fault. My brother did seperate us. So I cannot go back to that or I really will go jump in some bridge or end myself by other means.

They know this so they freed me to this homes situation where I am mostly alone it was very lonely this weekend if it wasnt for the internet I would have gone even more insane from how lonely it got. I saw a cat though which cheered me up and he saw me too. I wish to take him home but I am sure that isnt allowed in the rules. Sigh, can't I just make him my therapy pet? I wonder

Well This is your Wayward Unit Mate signing off

[sociallyawkward--fics]

when i finally finish a book and finally get a book published, i’m torn between two different dedications for my first ever book:

1) dedicating it to the teacher that was so horrible to me that i almost quit writing forever and gave up my dreams of becoming an author (and in the dedication make it a sort of “screw you, i did it despite your abuse, you did this to me and you should be ashamed” and just put her on blast because i deserve some pettiness after 2 years and 3 classes of her abuse lol)

2) dedicating it to the two teachers (or just one of them and split this dedication up between 2 books) who got me in their classes the year after i got out of 2 years of teaching from the teacher above, had no clue about the issues with that teacher, and yet somehow just knew exactly how to build me back up again and made me more confident in my writing than ever before and more dedicated to my dreams of writing than ever before (and honestly i still don’t think they know that they did this for me, i never told them what happened before, they just did it because they’re angels and wonderful teachers despite all my missing assignments and the fact that i rarely read their assigned readings and books lol)

[drella]

the aligrator emoji is underrated

[polyghostfacehours]

Back to bother you BUT how about some nsfw and sfw hc’s for my little meow meow randy 👀👀 the tatum one was <33

HAHA OH YES. For you? I will always indulge in Randy stuff! NGL, he's not on my writing list but I had SO much fun with these, especially the SFW ones!

General Randy Headcanons:

SFW:

Randy is a huge Star Wars fan and goes to conventions. He doesn't cosplay, but he brings his camera and camcorder.

Speaking of which, Randy has a passion for photography. He loves taking pictures around campus, and will literally spend half an hour trying to get the perfect angle with the perfect lighting. People on campus just keep seeing this guy laying on his stomach, then, crouching, then standing then kneeling on a bench and when they come out of class this motherfucker is still doing it.

His favorite things to take pictures of are cool buildings or structures.

He's been in love with Sidney since they met in 6th grade. When he met Billy in 8th grade along with Sidney, he immediately didn't like him. But also he still hung out with Billy sometimes? It was weird, because they were so similar but so different at the same time.

They were basically frenemies. Up until mid junior year, when Billy got weirdly antagonistic towards him, even more so than usual.

He almost threw himself off the second story window when he heard that Billy and Sidney were dating now.

Like fuuuuck, when will the nerd win.

NGL, but it's the 90's. Randy definitely had a bit of some Nice Guy Syndrome lol. It wasnt like, too bad, and not to the extent of most guys, but he did find himself hetting a bit bitter when he, the nice nerd guy, didnt get the girl.

OKAY OKAY super hot take lol, but I see Randy as heterosexual. However, I also like Pan!Randy a lot.

OKAY I know I said it for Sidney, but I genuinely think Randy would also identify with being non-binary. Or at the very least, not minding any pronouns.

Randy does not smell, ever. Like he just doesn't have any BO. He has that gene that makes body odor non-existent. He always smells fresh or like nothing, even when he sweats.

Randy has a matching shoes and shirt combo for every color.

SO Randy's fashion sense actually comes from Tatum. Once he got to high school, Randy was looking forward to a new beginning - a new him! He wanted to to get rid of his glasses and start caring more about how he looked! SO he asked Tate for advice, and she helped him pick out a wardrobe the summer before Freshman year began.

Speaking of Tatum: her, Sidney, and Randy are the best of friends. He used to be embarrassed by having girls as his best friends, but he quickly got over that because those two are his ride or die.

He and Stu actually hung out a good amount alone. I base this on their banter and how casually they interacted at the video store in the movie. It just seems like they were genuine friends. Maybe not super close, but generally liked one another.

Honestly, Stu's betrayal genuinely hurt. Like Billy's? Yeah nah, fuck that guy. You can tell by how he badmouthed Billy in 2 that he really hated him by that point, but the way he badmouthed Stu was far less vitriolic.

Randy internally is just like: Maaaan. How could he? I knew he was Billy's lapdog but murder??? JFC.

He thinks middle parts look stupid.

As much of a movie buff that he is, he gets celeb names mixed up all the time. Like he'll mix up their first and last names.

His favorite Final Girl is Nancy Thompson. He loves Laurie Strode too, she's played by the Scream Queen after all, but Nancy is his favorite by far.

Randy likes anime. He's watched all of Evangelion, can recite all the lore of Trigun, and don't even get him started on how great Yu Yu Hakusho is.

He also likes Sailor Moon and his favorite is Venus because she remind him of Tatum!

He has a crush on Mars and Neptune tho.

Randy's room is actually very neat. He makes sure to organize everything well, and is very meticulous. He has a certain place for everything in his room, and he doesn't like it messed with.

He and Martha get along well, but weren't like super close siblings. He loved her a lot, and was protective of her, but their interests differed a lot, so they tended to do their own things.

Randy argues with customers at the video store about movies and movie opinions, and that's why he kept getting fired lol.

Wanted to be a Horror Film Director when he grew up :(

He watched all the behind the scenes stuff as a kid, and that's what got him interested in video production in the first place.

He built forts out of cardboards in his backyard and you cant tell me otherwise.

he was also the kid in the park who tried to get all the other kids in the park into a group to play pretend, usually something fantasy or sci fi inspired.

Randy loves Halloween. Like the holiday. It's his favorite time of the year, and it's one of the few things he shared with Billy and Stu. They'd grab a couple of beers and go scaring little kids for funsies, though Randy would always stop Stu or Billy from going too far, it was always just in good fun for him.

NSFW:

Total Switch. Subs at first, but as the relationship progresses he can dom just as easily.

His fingers are magic. I don't know what it is, but they're just very deft.

Could be because Randy is a quick learner in the bedroom. Like he genuinely listens to his partner and asks things like "That feel good?" or "This angle alright?"

Very communicative in bed after the initial first time together. During the first time, he's far too flustered.

Is super into body worship. Like he loves worshipping his partner's body like the holy grail.

He moans a lot in bed. Not as loudly as Stu does, but he gets pretty vocal.

He's an ass man, through and through. Boobs are nice, but the way a butt curves so perfectly? Nut.

he prefers more romanic and inimate positions, but he'll never say no to doggy style for...obvious reasons 👀