#maybe ill go to uni now | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

widevibratobitch · 5 months

Text

omw to play emotional support for my mom disguised as ✨fun family bonding time✨ for the rest of the week <3333 there's something so deeply wrong with me uwu teehee

#and i still havent texted my friend back even tho she texted me a week ago and i told her ill text her back this week when i have the time #and i DO have the time. im just fucked in the head and the prospect of having a conversation with another person where i again #have to pretend im not at the very brink of a serious mental and emotional breakdown. is making me lose my fucking mind #ik she's having a bad time rn and she needs the reassurance and jesus fucking christ i tried i had two long conversations with her #that were allllll about her. only her. not a single word about me. that's fine. this is what people need in such moments right #to just get patted on the head and hugged and told their suffering is real and what happened to them is unfair and just made to feel #that for a moment they're the centre of attention and it is all about them. this is normal. this is why therapy exists.#so i try to give this to her but it is fucking draining. and i NEVER get the same treatment back. like she caught me crying at uni last week #and like yes she'll say some nice things but she'll always find a way to turn the conversation back on the topic of ✨her✨#like we started talking about my therapy and i finally got to actually say a word or two about what im dealing with. but then she goes #'yeah im just trying to figure out what's wrong with me when i listen to you haha like i could never cut myself cause it looks ugly.#ofc it doesnt look ugly on you haha but i could never lol'#like thanks haha good to know ill just shut up then and steer the conversation back onto you why dont i. i mean its not like #i spent over an hour a few days back sitting with you and listening to your talk about your childhood and validating you and not saying #a word a single fucking word about myself even tho i was also going through it myself but who cares right. and now im the bad guy again #because im not texting back.#i feel like im finally fucking snapping cause at this point im properly fucking angry. IM having a bad time too. IM going through it too.#I have bad coping skills and had a fucked up childhood and traumas in my life TOO and im allowed to just not be able to handle it #i really wanna break something lol maybe therapy's working after all lmao #oh also this is why i dont eat breakfast. i do it once and then feel guilty and suicidal lol normal behaviour #pojebie mnie zaraz przysięgam na boga mam dość kurwa BASTA

7 notes · View notes

avornalino · 11 months

Text

god shes so babygirl

#been playing the barbie legacy but starting with like a gen 0 (to build her skills and all that)#but ive completely lost the plot #shes supposed to be a stay at home mom why is she an actress going to uni how did we get here #its ok itll all work out i swear #and if not.. at least im having fun with her #she got 1 of those career calls for the acting career (level 5??!?) and i accepted bc like why not #but now i really like it for her soooo #ill have her quit at some point and settle down probably after she gets her degree (shes a comm major!)#or maybe ill have her drop out partway thru im not sure yet im just vibing rn #ts4 #i hope you love her like i love her 🫶

16 notes · View notes

deeisace · 6 months

Text

..

#sorry sorry I just woke up and im having yesterday-was-weird thought again #and they are going here so i don't have to talk to the person that they're um about yet #basically im glad that im in a good enough space now that um #someone ive ive had text-based sex with and uhhh sent an ill-advised video to in like oct when i was Feeling Bad™ and doing. hm. too much.#like 6 months post text-based sex/ill adised video now aha and we've not spoke at all since like january and that was 'how was hols'#they asked to meet up 'not for sex just as friends' or i forget exact wording but basically that #no-pressure museum not-a-date #and i said I'd think about it. because i am as everyone knows a fucking idiot.#basically im glad that im in a better place now than the last time someone like expressed an interest in me as a person #because while this did give me a day long wobble i didn't have a full weekend long actual panic about it #tho they are two v different situs #an ace poly friend asking to go out with me vs someone i uh virtually fucked aha um asking to meet up for (mostly) being-friends purposes #same several-hours-later 'oh god no what have i done bad bad bad no thank you actually no sorry i cant sorry' but less intense this time #but at least i only said ill think about it?#and not actually immediately said yes because it's nice to feel wanted #and then gone Maximum Regret™ because actually all of this is way too much i don't like it i don't want it thank you but im sorry no #weird. i guess i don't have such a high baseline stress level any more? since i'm not at uni n stuff #and someone over messages going no pressure you want to be irl friends (maybe fwb no pressure)? is um #is different. to someone irl going you want to go out acely? yeah? awesome lets hold hands here is the discord with a whole buncha people #i guess #but i am being equally aro-not-super-ace Autism™ about it aha #and i am. eventually. going to be like. thought about it and no sorry. eventually.#if they ask again #i am kinda hoping they'll leave it there and forget they asked so i don't have to navigate social stuff #im much better at navigating canals everybody leave me alone please thank you #(everybody over there leave me alone. y'know. you guys are fine.)

7 notes · View notes

hella1975 · 9 months

Note

what do you plan to do with your degree after uni?

FUCK NASTY!!!

#if i ever touch economics again it's a cry for help like i cannot stress enough how fucking pointless this degree is gonna be #okay deep breath im only being so negative bc im balls deep in exam season. it's a GOOD degree i DONT REGRET MY DEGREE #this will be EXCEPTIONALLY helpful when i go into the working world i am EMPLOYABLE bc of my DEGREE #like economics is a VERY versatile subject there arent many areas of work that econ doesnt apply to in some way #so i KNOW it's a really good degree to have and i can kinda do what i want afterwards #but oh my fucking god. jesus christ. bloody fucking hell #i do however know that in the immediate year after my degree im gonna move back home and waitress full time #bc i just need to like. take some time off education and recover LMAO and i want a space to just tick some boxes i never got round to #like learning how to drive and stuff. and living without having rent to pay in a place im very familiar with will be good #even if i do think it's gonna have it's own struggles. oh hometown blues we're really in it now #but yeah after that year im thinking about maybe doing a masters? but ill have to proper blag it bc you typically have to do #masters in subjects relevant to your degree and i dont want to go within a radiation exclusion zone of economics #so. there's that. do u think if i say please somewhere will let me do a classics masters be honest. if i say pretty please #ask #hella goes to uni

10 notes · View notes

newtness532 · 11 months

Text

why can't i just do things when i say i will do them?

#to make paying the monthly gym subscription worth it i need to go at least 7 times. its been 2 weeks and ive been twice so i need to go #at least 5 more times in the next 2.5 weeks #i can go tomorrow directly after uni and then maybe ill be able to force myself to go on friday again #then I'll just have to go one time next week and 2 the week after that #and i mean i still have time to go today but i dont have the energy and im also getting hungry sooo thats not happening #but since im not goimg to the gym i have to stufy. which is easier bc i can do it from my bed without getting dressed and leaving the house #and if i start crying while doing that there will be no one there to judge me #okay im glad we agree #I'll just get up and go bring my stuff now #i can do that #why am i like this #okay im going #bye see you later #jo says stuff #personal ramblings

9 notes · View notes

marsbotz · 8 months

Text

goodnighttttt ^_^

#just remembered when i was on twitter and ended up making literally daily goodnight tweets. i was insane #im gonna try not to do that agin. my last goodnight.#but look at this horse its silly #jesus christ i was soooo ill on twitter. not even an effect of twitter itself just long term social media exposure does that to me #i get like addicted to ppl liking my posts. like bot even in a numbers way just i like ppl acknowledging me #if we go back further like 2017 iwas super fucked abt that LOL like literally every other dya like ‘does anyone like me 🥺’ LOLLL #i was likeee 15. man #i mean im still like that now if anything im getting worse w it again but immmm trying to not follow thru w stuff #lol watever ! [shruggles]#wait srry thats referencing arlly specific image. im not just being weird. lol #i thinkkk tmrw. tmrw. i want to be out of bed by 8-9 LATEST. and i need to do uni notes #but id also like to DRAW. and mayeb ill play some more hl #maybe a bit ambitious but oh well #ok anyway gn actually now

3 notes · View notes

manslutz · 1 year

Text

gonna word vomit in these tags oops

#rambling to myself whatever #ik i just need to settle into this flat and get used to living by myself but im kinda like #hmm have i cursed myself w being lonely #i think also this flat is pretty dark bc the other buildings block out the sunlight so my seasonal depression is going crazy in advance #like its dumb but im not very approachable irl so i dont have many uni friends on my course and im just kinda #idk how i feel about it all #if my timetable stays the same i have tues and wed off and im getting in my head wo the distraction #like ik ill be fine in theory but im overthinking rn and its not even 3am lonely hours #and ik i can go out and do things by myself bc i often do but sometimes its nice to have the company #i made most of my friends at dorms but it was intercollegiate so they all go to diff unis to me so timetables clash double #and my closest uni friend is studying aboard in ny rn :(#idk i just feel like sometimes im not on the same path as everyone at uni rn #or maybe ur 20s are really just isolating idk #esp after the pandemic and many many lockdowns like i took a year out and all my old friends went straight to uni #and the diff in experience just meant they got closer and i got further #i only talk to one of them now and shes my ride or die but also she was kinda in a diff group of friends #and its funny (?) to think my main friendship group all still talk to each other #i just dont think im an easy person to be friends with #and idk why #its not for lack of trying or anything i just dont think im the type of person who has longlasting relationships #idk im not going into that rn #i also chose to go to a uni close to home so theres a lot that ive already done #its ok i can always do them again #but also im kinda like what if i just go home !! lmao #and itd be nice but i think itd make me feel worse when im back in the flat #hh whatever let me just get on with it and move on #its only 5 weeks until reading week and i only have this year left of uni #endure endure endure

5 notes · View notes

dongiovannitriumphant · 7 months

Text

u know sometimes im like hehe ill do a cute like silent film twink look forgetting that im an old man now so i just look like mario trying to do drag

#the over-active spleen #sent in docs to the unis before now its time to be silly #pic from makeup test on nye i just pulled it up to humble mself from trying again djkng #maybe when i shave for the ball ill give it a go again

5 notes · View notes

mainfaggot · 8 months

Text

another shit fucking day but in the most casual way possible bc all i did was sulk study cry study sulk and finally, sulk in the shower. chai next and then bed . fuck my stupid baka life forrealsies

#i almost had an argument w my mother over nothing at one point bc i was so anxious about nothing and everything at once and well #i keep thinking. idk what im doing anything for anymore #like when we were arguing i was like wait what if she brings up how shes giving me a ride to uni multiple times this week #and then i was like wait if she says that. I'll just tell her not to. and then ill skip class. and then ill drop my classes and get a refund #and then ill drop out of uni. and then ill kill myself!#mind you i was thinking about all of this and the argument didnt even go in that direction in the end bc it was over very quickly #ljke. what ks wrong with me #i keep thinking that if my parents get pissed at me for being good for nothing despite me trying my hardest not to be #i really will end it all finally like Actually #bc i dont understand anymore. why are they paying for my stupid medication and tuition #theyre too nice to me #i know they expect me to send them money in their ideal imagined scenario in which i get a good job after getting a masters degree #and i know they expect that I'll take care of them when theyre old bc in their ideal. imagined. scenario. i 1) dont off myself in the next #few years 2) am not a lesbian who ruins the whole family dynamic by coming out and 3) get a well paying job and a husband #so. so yeah #but right NOW theyre nice to me and they take care of me but also i think everything is pointless but i try anyway because they take care #of me and they want me to be well but how am i supposed to be Get Well if i don't believe in myself #like i dont think thats possible really.#maybe a tiny bit? like maybe i won't be Well but i can be better. yeah i can do that #so i guess thats why im still trying #but then it's like. being Better is so. marginally different from being at rock bottom in a way #like yeah its significant improvement clinically but to me it's still casually miserable in its own unique way bc it's better but its still #very much present lingering choking me etc #so that brings me to the following:#im trying so hard but for what exactly? 'just keep going!' but at what cost? but why when im still like this?#z.post

2 notes · View notes

robotpussy · 1 year

Text

everytime i think abt going bald i think abt all the wigs i want to wear then i end up just. wearing scarves because I'm lazy. i need 2 get into glueless wigs

#i have a bunch of headband wigs but i dont rlly like the way they look anymore like the styles r boring me now #i think the reason why i fear doing lace front wigs all the time is because most of the time I'm at uni and i have 2 get up at #5am to leave the house at 6am like I'm not even properly awake how am i gonna get able to put on a wig? and that's why #i have a huge bag of wigs that is taking up all the space in my hair corner. I'm just gonna throw some wigs away #cause ik im not gonna revive them so i might as well. anyways next time I'm going bald my schedule might be a but more #relaxed. as in i might not have to get up at 5am everyday depending on what my post graduate job will be. maybe THEN ill put more effort #into my wigs 🙏

9 notes · View notes

hella1975 · 2 years

Text

i have also decided to do my Sleep Reset thing i do when my sleep schedule becomes so fucked that i just have to bite the bullet one night and do an all nighter to literally reset my schedule so if you think ive gone to sleep at any point tonight pls shout at me i promise it's for my own good

#oh yeah babe pick the night before an exam to do this you're actually clever #ive got a checklist of things to keep me up #im going to read some more fic chapters (im now on risking it all by sreeder)#(no one needs to comment on the fact i only started liab like three days ago)#(immediately after binging war games in the same amount of time)#(i read like 600000 words of atla fic in the past week after effectively not interacting with atla for like a YEAR i love mental illness)#so yeah! im gonna do some reading #then im gonna write some taob and HOPEFULLY finish sokka's pov and maybe even start zuko's pov #and im gonna do my micro notes up to at least lecture three #hmmm what else is there #i might answer some asks too! so if you guys want to chat to me send me shit bc i am Around and Miss You <3 #specifically if it's taob shit actually! keep me motivated fuck knows i cant be trusted to do it alone #hella goes to uni

23 notes · View notes

hjemne · 11 months

Text

I've been... Absolutely normal? After this breakup with the person that I really genuinely wanted to spend my life with.

It happened Friday night, I cried most of the night and a little on Saturday but then something just shifted and I've been like 99% fine and normally and happy since then? The only time the sadness has really hit me since has been thinking about how upset my (dying) grandma will be that she won't be able to know my partner. But otherwise? I got horrendously drunk on Saturday night, had tons of fun and was fine with a guy low-key flirting with me. Since I got thru the handover and sleepiness on Sunday I've been utterly normal, getting on with work, reading romance and enjoying it rather than being sad or jealous etc. The main stressor has been the number of deadlines I've had this week and trying to manage my parents' reaction and reassure them I'm fine.

It's not that I'm complaining I've not been truly and utterly crushed by the heartbreak, but I'm just weirded out by this reaction. I'm worried I'm bottling it all up and it'll explode later or that this is me sliding back into depression, but I'm still enjoying things and it doesn't feel like depression? Like have I actually reached that level of emotional maturity that I've dealt with everything (or most things) already?

He decided about a week ago that he didn't want to go through his early twenties having to factor someone else into his life plans. I understand it, I respect his decision, acknowledge that there's no use in trying to talk him out of it, appreciate the fact he told me as soon as he could in person so we ended the relationship still loving each other rather than growing apart and resentment building. I really can't stress how I've never loved or been loved by anyone like with him before and that he has been the most important person in my life for four years. Accepting that the life we were planning together has gone has seemed to happen so easily and it feels like something must therefore be wrong. It's helped that we haven't seen each other in person and haven't currently got plans to I guess because I think it's going to really hit when I can't be physically affectionate like before. But even with the distance I still just can't understand why I'm feeling so nothing about this. He brought up that he might want to break up in March and I cried far more than this. Have I been emotionally checked out of the relationship since then without realising? Am I just bottling stuff up without realising? I just wish I knew

#im very used to being alone #even during the relationship we were long distance for most of it and i was living by myself or with emotionally distant family #and last month i moved in with 3 friends and with uni starting I'm able to socialise more even though i still prefer to be alone a lot #so maybe its the fact that i dont feel so isolated that's helping?#even when we lived together i only really had my now ex around to turn to for friendship #also with university im so so overworked but it gives me structure #so im with friends and have a purpose #which is maybe whats holding me together #i think i did process a lot of this after we nearly broke up in march #i said to him months ago that I ultimately want him to be happy and if he decides that its not with me then ill hate it but accept it #i am also on a lot of adderall lmao #switched prescriptions today #anyway even if im slightly scared everything is going to explode out of me one day #i am still proud with how im handling this #i could have been so vindictive during the break up but i knew thatd only hurt him and that i dont want him to be upset #so i wasnt #there were a couple of times i said stuff that i could have left unsaid like how i had our anniversary card already written and in our desk #and i think part of me did want him to hurt at that but mostly because i wanted him to see how much i was? still petty I know #but also i think I'm allowed a bit of pettiness when im being dumped pretty much out of nowhere #idk man #its not bad necessarily its just weird #we said we'd talk on the weekend so the first convo post break up wouldnt become a Thing of who would blink first or whatever #and i want him to know im alright but i don't want it to seem like im bragging or that it means the relationship meant nothing to me #like hey I've lost the most precious thing we had together and actually it seems im fine without it #i really really hope hes feeling a similar way #our friend and my housemate went to visit him yesterday so hopefully hes let him know im coping fine so he doesnt have to feel guilty #i dont want him to be alone in a new house full of strangers and heartbroken #ive been telling our mutual friends to look after him and saying they really really really shouldnt take sides or anything in this #and i dont like thinking of him being sad and knowing there's absolutely nothing i can do rn to help other than giving him space #rambles

3 notes · View notes

jrueships · 2 years

Text

Diggs. can allen have One Thing for Himself... EVER??

#is gillette just for the bills now or smthin???#or is this diggs doing his 'OH BOY I LOVE GOLFING 🥰🥰' thing where he sees allen golfing with his friends #and suddenly diggs is in a skintight golfers uni he express shipped over to his house on amazon #hes going to mistake it for his vibrato #oooh look at the time #i gotta go <3 #now.#diggs and allen put the PARTNER in partnership #ALLEN gets a gillette? DIGGS gets a gillette!#this is probably a strategic swipe on diggs part #he just uses his new deal with gillette to steal joshs #so josh can stop shaving and potatoing himself #and keep his lumberjack who lives in a log cabin aesthetic #diggs: sorry hun but i gotta use ur gillette again <3! maybe ill remember to give it back in another 2 years #josh: please babe give me my gillette there are baby squirrels living in my beard #diggs: name them after the linemen #😊 they deserve some love too

8 notes · View notes

sad--tree · 1 year

Text

keep saying i don't want 2 work another retail xmas but canNOT 4 the life of me make myself finish my goddamn fucking job applications !!!!!! death & dying & despair etc. etc.

#i dont dislike the application process for gc jobs on principle BUT #it does not mesh well w/ my difficulties re: starting & finishing tasks #but like i understand why u cant just send in a resume n hit done #NOT that there are many IT listings up atm...... and ill apply 4 clerical/admin stuff too #but an IT-1 STARTS a good $10k a year higher than a CR-5 soooooo :///#which is whatever its fine money isnt everything!! ill gladly make less if it means not hating my job!!!#but i also wanna. u know. LIVE. move out of my parents house. buy brand name snacks occasionally. maybe -gasp- go on a vacation #(not 2 say i dont make an attempt at travel now but thats with very finite savings that are def only going down not up)#also extremely frustrating 2 me the emphasis put on having a degree that completely locks me out of certain job categories #like. yes. there are for sure some where having the bg knowledge is important eg. an AU (auditor/accountant) or MA (methodologist)#and there are certain skills a degree (in theory) provides eg critical thinking research etc.#but not all of us have $40k+ to get tge fancy piece of paper saying we have those things. and u can have those skills w/o a degree #and smth like an EC which needs a degree in economics sociology or statistics is so arbitrary #and maybe not necessarily actually based in the majority of work done by the majority of positions in that category #ANYWAYS not me being bitter abt education standards YET AGAIN lol #idek if i could go to uni even if i could afford it. even tho i have 2 college diplomas id probably have 2 redo my grade 12 english 😶‍🌫️#also if money were no object id probably go for like. film studies or smth lol not sociology #tho. ngl. if i had the willpower and determination 4 smth so rigorous (i 100% dont) accounting does seem. interesting asdffhkkfdghh #ANYWAYS pt. 2 all this 2 say this is why i instead spent $10k+ on the only possible 2 yr diploma #that can still get u in2 the higher paying public service jobs. even tho ive discovered i Dont Particularly Care for programming. :(#thats an understatement actually i was actively in hell for like 80% of that program and the remaining 20% mostly wasnt coding

3 notes · View notes

sarcasticsunshine123 · 2 years

Text

#honest question #im a uni student djfj i need money #idk it could be cool?#maybe for edits aswell as writing? maybe gifs?? idkidk just testing the water #do i tag this?#caswen #sunshine polls #housekeeping #im going to bed now ill check in the morning 👀#just something my friend said i should consider

6 notes · View notes

vlindervin7 · 1 year

Text

was feeling a little bit lonely this summer and now all my plans are falling on the same three days. sunshine really does come after rain

#sooo excited #going on a little belgian city trip with my cousins tomorrow and then in the evening seeing barbie with my friends <333 #then on friday ill still be in my uni city im gonna see if i can meet up with babylon girl or go see an exhibition on the harlem ballroom #scene if it's not on pause yet.... then maybe seeing another friend this weekend and also going to an open mic with another friend tonight.#cant believe i forgot but wow #nothing for two weeks and now this zqjfb #jasmine has thoughts #also my bday next week... lets no think about that

3 notes · View notes