#i do however know that in the immediate year after my degree im gonna move back home and waitress full time

[hella1975]

what do you plan to do with your degree after uni?

FUCK NASTY!!!

[ganondoodle]

demise backstory (summary)

I didnt actually plan on wrtiting a summary of demises backstory (that i came up with, idk if its any good) but im realizing how long it will take me to draw it all, especially with job related things getting in the way all the time, so i guess im gonna post a badly summarised version of it right here right now, some things might change but thats always the case with my writing, nothings set in stone.

(please be aware that im not the best writer and didnt put much effort into this, it got longer than i thought but well meh :V ignore the typos, i wrote this at 1 am ;O; )

I didnt proof read anything, so this is a mess, anyway here goes nothin:

As far as i know, there have been multiple cases of hyrule having some sort of alternate mirror version of itself or just an alternate world somehow somewhere, so my personal idea about this is that demise WAS what hylia is for hyrule, a deity of protection. thats also where the whole inverted triforce symbols come from in my design for him, im not saying its lorule, but its definitely inspired by it to some degree. so they also had a triforce (here simply called "relics"), but it was split into the three pieces, for each of the three main nations/countries one, originally it was split like this as a way of sharing it equally AND to keep it safe, since if someone was to want the whole thing, theyd have to fight three different giant nations for it, which was thought as being pretty impossible.

as i said before, demise (might not have always been his name idk) was their deity of protection, he was there to keep the peace, to prevent the three countries from going after the relics themselves, tho he was always a cocky bastard he wasnt as destructive and hateful as he is now, back then he was still the servant of their gods after all. for a long long time he was successful at keeping everything as it was supposed to be, but of course, it cant go well forever, i dont have all the details yet but basically, those three nations started war after war, he was able to keep it from escalating for quite some time  but at some point, the people found out that if they destroyed his statues (just like hylias in canon) to prevent anyone from praying to him, he wouldnt know, at least, not immediately (my idea was that the statues are a sort of communication link to whatever their god was, so in ancient hyrule, if you prayed to one of hylias statues, and asked for her protection/help, she would know instantly and show up within seconds) 

alot of battles were fought without demise hearing anything about it, until someone found a statue that wasnt fully destroyed. when demise showed up however, the person had already died as they were wounded when fleeing from the battlefield. wondering how this all came to be he went to look for where that person came from, since if there was actual big trouble he should have known about it much sooner.  

he must have missed the biggest battle his world had ever seen, given the sheer size of it .. and the amount of corpses scattered all over it.

this only happened because of the greed of the people in power for the rest of the relics, which promised power, more power than they already had, plus who wouldnt want to know what happen if the relics were combined again, given how they've been seperated since the beginning. 

Fueled by anger and grief over how many people had lost their lives without him even KNOWING that a war of this size was happening, demise tried to ask the gods as to what he was supposed to do, how could he stop these needlessly cruel wars over something so small ? but the gods were silent. 

so he had to decide on his own, what was the best thing to do ? after careful consideration he couldnt think of anything else but to destroy the relics, after all, he could touch or use them himself as means to prevent him, as an already powerful deity, from falling for that greed for power, just like the inhabitants of his world did now.

the first one was the easiest, they didnt know his plan and let him wander their sacred halls with no second thought .. until he raised his sword once he stood in front of that cursed relic that led only to bloodshed and death. of course the news started to spread that their protector had apparently turned against them, some thought it was because they destroyed his statues, others because they thought he feared they would be more powerful than him once they gathered all the relics. on his way to destroy the second one he was met with resistance, but nothing he couldnt get through. the third one was a fight of an army against one deity. demise won, but not without killing some of the people he swore to protect .. and the only reason he was doing this, was for their own good.

after the deed was done, instead of everything getting better, it was getting worse. the people were more united than ever. against him that is. and the world fell apart. the oceans started to shrink, the winds would blow more harshly with each passing day, plants would wither away as if robbed of life before it began. demise was never overly beloved by anyone even back in the beginnings, but he could deal with them hating and resenting him, as long as they wouldnt go to war against each other, he was happy, more or less. what he couldnt handle was watching as his world started to die a slow and agozing death, right before his eyes, without him being able to do anything against it. and the gods stayed silent.

was it because he destroyed the relics ? were the gods mad at him for going against their orders and deemed it appropriate to punish him by having to watch the people suffer ?or was it that the gods that were bored of playing with this world and moved on to the next ?

he would never know the answer. 

the world died slowly over hundreds of years of painful suffering, desperately trying to to stay alive. even then the last remaining survivors knew him only as the destroyer of their world, responsible for their suffering. his former self wiped from memory, and only hate remained. 

after the last mortal died, the last tree withered and the oceans were gone. there was nothing left to guard, nothing left but the ruins of the past and the painful reminder of how this all came to be. the question of why it had to happen, was never answered, as the gods abandoned him and his world a long time ago.

in a fit of rage he sought to destroy the last temples, the once sacred places which inscriptions have long faded away and the place he once called his home, where he used to speak to his gods before they fell into this agonizing silence and as he drove his sword through the sculpted stones which once housed their voices, it split into two . ..

..and through the cracks blew a wind carrying the scent of a world that was still alive.

[sad-sweet-cowboah]

Rekindled

Summary: After a hard night of drinking with Lenny, Arthur finds himself in an odd but familiar spot. He also meets someone he hadn’t seen in months: you.

Warnings: It’s angsty smut hours here, folks.

A/N: So this is technically an older piece, since I started it last October and have been working on it little by little since. I did post a preview of it last year if anyone remembers!

A path of light crossed over Arthur’s closed eyes, rousing him from a deep sleep. He blinked them open, bleary and heavy, greeted with the unfamiliar ceiling of a cabin.

The sun shone through the light curtains of a window next to him, and he quickly realized he’d been laying in a bed. The leftover tiredness vanished as he jerked up in surprise, only to be cursed with a splitting headache. The room spun, an uncomfortable dizziness that caused his stomach to lurch.

Expelling a small groan, he gingerly rubbed his palm over his face, resting it on his forehead. How much did he drink last night?

Movement caught his eye, the door on the far side of the room opening. He tensed up, soon forgetting about his moment of weakness to grab for his gun – only to realize his belt had been removed.

A figure stepped in, covered in a jacket and a long skirt billowing around their legs. Beautiful hair that flowed elegantly around their face. Hands laden with a bucket. As they turned toward him, Arthur’s eyes widened in surprise.

“Y/N?!”

“Oh good, you’re awake!” you spoke, your voice light in a chime. “’Bout time too, it’s early afternoon.”

Arthur seemed to be flabbergasted by your appearance, mouth hung open slightly as he continued to stare. It’d been months since you’d last seen each other.

His stomach twisted uncomfortably, causing him to wince and double over.

“There’s another bucket next to you.” You’d said nonchalantly, turning away to heave the bucket onto the table. Liquid sloshed loudly within it.

Without looking Arthur grabbed the other bucket, having done just in time as he proceeded to empty the contents of his stomach into it. He retched and heaved uncomfortably, the pain overcoming him until the spasms of his body calmed down. The rancid taste lingered in his mouth, a tinge of alcohol still remaining. He spat into the bucket and placed it back on the ground.

“Where are we?” he rasped, wiping his mouth.

“Cumberland Forest,” you responded without turning to face him. “Little cabin tucked away in the trees.”

“You…you live here?” he asked, pushing the blankets away in an attempt to stand.

“For the time being,” you answered, swiveling around with a tin cup in your hands. “Here.” You walked over to him, pushing on his shoulder.

Arthur towered over you, yet he fell back onto the bed to your gentle pressure. You held the cup out which he took, warily peering into it. Clear water that was cool to the touch filled it halfway. Arthur brought the cup to his lips and took a small sip, swishing it to remove some of the taste on his tongue. He spat it into the bucket once more. “Thanks,” he sighed, placing the cup down. “How’d I…did ya find me or somethin’?”

“Passed out on the side of the road, reeking with alcohol,” you confirmed with a snicker. “Nice to see some things don’t change.”

Arthur ducked his head in shame, sighing out a response. “Yeah…” he shook his head at himself, albeit lightly to not agitate the pounding that refused to leave his head. It’d fallen silent for a long moment, thoughts moving through his mind as he tried to find his next words.

He hadn’t seen you in months; you having up and left the gang without so much as a note of farewell. He woke up one day to find you and your belongings gone and no trace of you at all. It left the others bewildered, some even trying to track you, including Arthur himself. The search lasted for days, however the effort proved to be fruitless as the trail had gone cold.

“Listen, I have to run into Valentine for a bit,” you said, moving away from him to grab a satchel that hung on the wall. “Stay if you want, just don’t think about robbing me. You know damn well I can track you if you do.”

Arthur blinked at your abruptness, watching quietly as you opened the door again, stepping out into the greenery that surrounded the cabin. After a few seconds, the sound of hoofbeats faded into the distance.

Once the door closed, he was surrounded by silence again. He stood up carefully, hit by another wave of dizziness. He leaned on the wall, clutching at his head as a second bout of nausea overcame him. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, willing himself not to dry heave.

As the feeling passed, he opened his eyes again. He was in just a simple one room building. He realized with a jolt this was Six Point Cabin, the area that held the O’Driscoll camp which Kieran had helped ambush just days earlier. He didn’t recognize it at first; there had been some cleaning done, a little bit of redecorating here and there. He moved toward a window, peering toward the field that the small massacre occurred. The tents and supplies were all still there, though some items have been moved around. He assumed you were probably looking through the tents and crates for anything useful or valuable.

He couldn’t fathom why you chose this place to stay in, wondering if you’d ever run into any other O’Driscoll goons. So many questions he wanted to ask, and he was tempted to follow you into Valentine. Though after the previous night, it didn’t seem like the best idea. He wondered how Lenny fared after last night, if he’d managed to get back to camp. The last thing Arthur remembered was stumbling away from the law.

In reality, he should try and head back to camp. However, unanswered questions that cycled in his mind rooted him in place. Your departure had caused him more pain than he realized, keeping him up for many nights in lost wonder on where you went and hoping you’d return. Easily one of the most productive members in the gang, you had proven to be a great thief and a formidable fighter. Additionally there was a softness to you, a kind heart that reached out for those in need. He always had to admire you from afar.

He sighed and reached for the water cup, lifting it to his parched lips and taking a swallow. Guess he’ll wait around for your return.

---

An hour passed, and Arthur’s patience didn’t wear. He kept himself busy, letting his strength slowly regain. Some personal items of yours were strewn about, little reminders of your presence that he missed. He’d found his satchel underneath the bed, having some stringy meat once he knew the nausea wouldn’t return. His gun belt, he’d realized, was resting against the bed post. His hat was on top of it.

Upon the fireplace, he’d noticed a framed photo. It was the entire gang, all posing in front of a large carriage. Upon taking the photo, he had been standing close to you, close enough to touch. He remembered that day fondly.

A few more memories stirred up, the feeling of nostalgia touching him in both a pleasant and unpleasant way.

A little more time had passed until the thundering of hooves caught his attention. He tensed, hand automatically hovering over his revolver. A moment later, the door opened to reveal you once again.

He relaxed in an instant, letting out the breath he was holding. As you closed the door, you met his gaze and smiled. “Haven’t left yet huh?”

“Don’t got a horse at the moment.” Arthur answered instantly, which was only partially true to his degree.

“Never stopped you before,” you said with a raised eyebrow. “I know you can easily steal one.”

“You’re right,” Arthur nodded. “But I ain’t leavin’, not til you answer some questions.”

Your smile turned rueful. “Figured as much,” you sighed, placing your satchel on the table. Pulling out a can of beans and some already cooked meat slabs, you continued. “Wanna have some dinner, then?”

Arthur looked at you for a moment, and then shrugged, sitting at the table. The stringy meat hadn’t exactly provided him with much. He waited silently as you prepared two plates, placing one in front of him and the other at your own spot. As you settled into your seat, Arthur’s eyes were on you.

“Alright, ask.”

“Why did ya leave?” he immediately spoke. “’Specially when you didn’t say goodbye to anyone.”

You sighed, casting your gaze down to your plate. You toyed with the beans briefly before spooning some into your mouth, chewing with a thoughtful expression. “Somethin’ didn’t seem right.”

Arthur tilted his head. “What do ya mean by that?”

“I dunno, I kept getting this…feeling,” you explained, your free hand resting over your heart. “A feeling that something bad was gonna happen. I didn’t want to stick around to find out what it was.”

“So you just up n’ left?” Arthur concluded. “Why didn’t ya say anything to anyone?”

“Would any of y’all have believed me?” you countered. When Arthur hesitated, you added, “Didn’t think so.”

“Coulda at least told me,��� he mumbled. “At least told me goodbye. I…we tried trackin’ ya for a little while.”

“I thought you would try, so I had to make sure I covered my tracks well,” You explained. “Kept myself moving.”

Arthur solemnly nodded once, momentarily falling silent to eat some of his meal. He wasn’t sure what to say next, trying to process the information that was given. You’d left on a bad feeling. He understood gut feelings, knowing them all too well in a lifestyle such as this. “What caused it?” he finally asked.

“Can’t say for sure,” you replied with a small shake of your head. “But when Micah joined… it just felt like something was different.”

Micah, of course. That headstrong fool causing more problems than not these past few months. “So Micah caused you to leave.”

“Eh, part of it. Racist asshole.” you murmured.

A chuckle passed his lips. “He’s in jail over in Strawberry right now. I’m supposed to go get ‘im, and I’d rather wrestle a damn pack ‘o wolves.”

“Not surprised,” venom dripped from your voice. “But it was…more than just him. I started having nightmares. Bloodshed and bodies, mangled faces of those I cared about…” you swallowed hard, stopping to eat some more. A moment of silence followed as you chewed on the meat. “I came to the conclusion that I didn’t wanna be a part of that, so I left.”

Nightmares. Arthur shook his head in disbelief, leaning back against the chair, folding his arms. “Seems a little silly to run ‘cause of nightmares.”

“I thought so too, until I heard the mess you guys caused in Blackwater.” You pointed out as-a-matter-of-factly.

“You know about that?” he said incredulously.

You scoffed, rolling your eyes. “Who hasn’t? I got into town not too long after you fled. Pinkertons everywhere, interrogating people on the streets. I had to keep myself hidden, managed to sneak out. When I learned what happened, I realized I was right. Something went wrong.”

Arthur sighed, running his hand through his hair. He was hesitant to compare your dream to the awful reality. He reluctantly spoke, “Weren’t just Blackwater neither. We got chased up into the Grizzlies, lost some folk on the way. We managed to get in a better spot, but it ain’t easy gettin’ back on our feet.”

“Only further proving my point,” You added. “I couldn’t bring myself to be a part of that.”

“We’re outlaws, life is always dangerous for us. You knew that when ya joined up.” Arthur argued, stabbing the meat with unnecessary force to cut it.

“Of course I knew that, Arthur,” you retorted with a slight scowl, though melting to a look of sadness. “I wouldn’t have been with Dutch for years if I hadn’t. But honestly…my gut was telling me to get out, and I did.”

He fell silent again, a flame in his chest wanting him to argue more yet nothing but empty words filled his mind. Bickering was something you and him were good at, usually about silly things that resolved on its own within a few minutes. It was only on rare occasions did you two disagree on a bigger matter, resulting in neither of you speaking for a day, and would only speak if he approached you first. You were more stubborn than he was.

Remembering those days brought a bout of woeful sentiments, reminding him all too clearly how much he’d missed you when you left. “I jus’...” he trailed off, rubbing his face before continuing. “Everyone misses you. They still wonder why ya left.”

You pursed your lips, dropping your gaze down to your plate. “I wanted to say something, I truly did. But I know it would have made things worse.”

Your last words set anger in him, bubbling up to the surface. “You leavin’ without a word was worse!” Arthur exclaimed, throwing his hand outward. “You had us all worried, wonderin’ where you were!” his fist fell heavily on the table, shaking the contents on top of it. “Search parties, days of trackin’ worthless! Losin’ sleep thinkin’ I’d never see you again.”

At first you’d seemed unphased by his outburst. However as he finished, your face began to falter. He waited for you to speak, expecting another flimsy reason or excuse to justify your actions.

With a sigh, you said, “I’m sorry, Arthur. I really am. I…” you sniffed, rubbing your eyes briefly. “I really miss you guys too. It…it took me a lot of convincing to even go through with it, and I had to constantly fight myself not to return. You guys are my family and I could never change that. It hurt me much more than you’d think.”

Arthur listened to you, his lips set in a hard line as he studied you. The raw emotion that touched your voice softened his otherwise angered heart. He took a deep breath, shaking his head as if to settle his thoughts right. There was no need to be frustrated; what was done was done. “Maybe you shoulda said somethin’. Maybe Dutch woulda listened. Wouldn’t have lost the people we did.”

“I could have and should have done many things, Arthur,” you said quietly. “But some things are meant to happen regardless. We can’t change what’s intended.”

Those words hit him with more force than he’d thought. Bowing his head, staring at the half-finished food before him. He’d lost his appetite, his heart sinking uncomfortably deep into his guts. He’d wanted answers and now he nearly regretted asking. Maybe he should have left while you were out. He wasn’t sure what answer he’d expected, though his wandering thoughts kept him awake at night those first few weeks of your absence.

There was no doubt you two had been close; both taken under Dutch’s wing at a young age. Years together of running, robbing and riding, those minor arguments and drunken nights around the campfire. Hours of speaking to one another about some nonsense, secrets whispered and kept. Some of the others would joke that you two acted like a married couple, bickering and making up right after, moving in sync and often going on missions together. Arthur would scoff and you would laugh, sometimes making the joke yourself and even going as far as to suggest to do it for real.

Arthur could never tell if you were joking or not, and would brush it off with a half-hearted chuckle. It was an absurd suggestion, wondering who could ever marry him. Yet with your departure, it were as if a piece of him had been taken with you.

He often perceived it as something he’d done wrong, though couldn’t fathom as to why it would be his own fault. You knew about Mary, about Eliza. His luck with women was something left to be desired. Yet you weren’t involved romantically, never gave an inkling of being sweet on one another. His own lack of self-confidence had automatically convinced him he wasn’t one to have any sort of close relation with the opposite sex. Perhaps it was silly to assume he was owed something from you.

He stood up immediately, aggressively pushing himself from the table as he got to his feet. As he turned to grab his things, he heard your voice.

“Arthur?”

“Gotta get goin’,” he responded without looking at you. “Got some things to take care of.”

He heard you sigh, the sound of chair legs scraping against the floor as you stood up. “At least let me walk you to the door.”

Arthur didn’t answer, grabbing his hat and satchel. As he crossed the cabin, you were right behind him, quickly walking ahead to grab the door. You opened it for him, stepping out into the late afternoon light. He could just march out and not look back, but somehow your presence there distracted him. He stopped at the threshold, looking down at you.

Rays of light beamed through the vegetation, touching your face in such a way that your skin glowed. Eyes reflected brightly, highlighting the beauty that graced your finer features. A hint of disappointment hung on your lips as a small frown, and your eyes never left his.

Silent words passed between you two like a bolt of electricity, his nerves tingling as if he were struck himself. You were the epitome of gorgeous; your features having stayed the same regardless of the hardships. More than once your face appeared in his dreams, treading through his mind in the quiet hours of the night. Those suggested ideas of marriage tugged at him on occasion, daring to venture where that would lead.

Sure, he never did believe you, partly due to his previous relationships. He was a cursed man, damned to never be truly satisfied with his life as the powers above teasingly dangled his desires in front of him. Cruel was fate for pulling you away too. Perhaps you were right about how some things were meant to happen.

“Stay with me.” You said. It wasn’t a question nor a suggestion.

Arthur felt his breath hitch.

“Don’t go back, please.” Your voice was low, swimming with raw emotion.

You never pleaded, the slightest hints of it in your tone caught Arthur off guard. He stared at you with contemplation, your words pulling at his heartstrings with more force than intended.

“I…can’t…” he forced himself to say, wringing out the words as if his throat were dry.

Your lips pursed, your steady gaze not breaking from his. “You’re not invincible, ya know. One day…things will change.”

He inhaled, opening his mouth as if to argue, yet no words formed on his lips. A strong mix of emotions raged within him still, a battle of uncertainty that could not be quelled. “Things always change.” He managed to say quietly.

“Not for the better, you know that.” You emphasized.

Of course he knew that, hell, he probably knew that better than anyone. Pain, death, and sadness took the forefront of his life more often than he’d like, yet cutting ties as you did would be much more difficult. He had a family, close bonds that would take effort to break.

Seeing you standing before him, the desperation bright and glassy in your eyes, had him consider it for a brief moment.

He spoke your name, his words trailing off as he watched you step closer, just inches away from him.

“We could be…good…together, Arthur,” you whispered, tilting your head up, your breath wafting gently across his face. “You and I…no more outlaw days, no more running, no more worrying…just…us.”

His heart pounded like a drum against his ribs. Having you this close rendered his head devoid of all thought. Your words echoed in his mind, the very brief consideration driven by something deeper within him.

His mouth opened slightly, though whatever he was going to say was quickly subdued by your lips.

Shock overcame him, stiffening in surprise. You pulled back instantaneously, staring into his eyes with an expectant look.

He stared at you in bewilderment, stirring up a myriad of feelings. Silent questions arose, none of which formed in his mouth. His hands twitched forward without thought, raising one to graze his fingers against your cheek. Cupping it gently, he leaned forward and kissed you properly.

Your lips were soft against his, warm and plump, easily melding against his mouth. His other hand hovered along your lower back, hesitant, yet you stepped forward to welcome his embrace. Bodies touching, his arm rested against you, holding you to him.

It’d been so long since he kissed anyone; he nearly forgot what it felt like. A sweet rush of bliss washed over him, soon forgetting the unease that held the both of you. His hands slinked into your hair, holding you close as his lips moved silently against yours.

Your arms wrapped around his neck, his nerves tingling pleasantly from your touch. It was as if you had fire in your skin, every part of his body responding to the heat that radiated from you. He pulled back for air, breathing heavily as if he’d run a race. Blood rushed, thumping in his ears.

You kept hold of him, a small smile painted on your face. You’d reached up and pulled his hat off. A thousand unspoken words were exchanged through your gazes alone, all of which told one message that he understood.

Stay.

Your hands ran slowly across his shoulders, fingers trickling lightly across the fabric of his shirt. You outlined the muscles of his biceps, trailing along his forearms and finally to his hands. His hands gently entwined with yours, warm and soft against his rough and calloused skin.

You silently pulled him back into the cabin, his feet light as he followed you without protest. Your lips found his again, eliciting such passion behind it that it nearly caught him off guard. His arms took hold of you, pulling you in a tight embrace. Your closeness, the warmth that radiated through your clothes against him, it was all so surreal.

God, has he been holding back for this long? Was this just a dream?

Arthur pulled back an inch, resting his forehead against yours. You felt so real in his arms, against his chest. He uttered your name, barely a whisper that held his vulnerability. The way he longed for you was unlike any other. You were more than just a fellow outlaw to him, more than just family.

Now he knew why you suggested marriage.

And he’d been so afraid of another relationship, he refused to see it for what it was himself.

You sighed his name, your voice like a soft song in his ears.

It hurts to be without you.

He dipped his head down, resting it carefully on your shoulder. Your hands threaded through his hair with soothing strokes. Your scent overwhelmed him, a lovely aroma which fogged his senses. He breathed in slowly, locking you into his memory.

His lips ghosted across the soft skin of your neck, placing a baby kiss along your pulse point. A short, uneven breath rattled from your throat. Lifting his head, he peered at your face. Your eyes were half-lidded, staring at him with an expression he recognized, yet he was in disbelief.

Why me?

Your palms rested on his chest, holding his gaze as your fingers inched toward his exposed skin. You traced his collar bones, your touch light. Moving across the midline of his pectorals, you stopped over his racing heart that leapt from the lightest of grazes.

His skin felt like fire, a trail prickling after your touch. After years of only bath ladies having come in contact with his naked skin, this effect was foreign and familiar simultaneously. He watched as your fingers deftly worked the topmost closed button of his shirt.

 He stiffened automatically, unable to hide the wariness of judgment that crept to the forefront of his mind. You must have recognized his apprehension, moving one hand to cup his cheek. Your face was gentle, offering a look of safety.

You can trust me.

A shuddering breath pushed past his lips. Such intimacy was lost to him long ago, only to be visited in his dreams. He missed it so and was afraid to attempt with another woman. He did trust you, trusted you with his life even. Perhaps it was time to strengthen it even more.

He ducked his head slightly, giving a small nod to allow you to continue. A soft kiss was placed on his cheek. You continued further, easing your way down his buttons, keeping your eyes level with his.

He was nervous, his heart refusing to cease its hammering. His mind incessantly whispered unkind comments, battling actively with his better senses. With each button released, exposing more of his torso, he waited for your reaction of disgust or disinterest. With the last undone, his shirt fell open to reveal his union suit. You hadn’t hesitated to repeat the process, exposing more and more of his torso to you until he was bare from the waist up.

He watched you with held breath as you smoothed your palm against his abdomen, the tips of your fingers trailing gently along the ridges of his muscles. A look of interest appeared across your face, tracing patterns along his skin. To his surprise, you hadn’t offered him any notion of repulsion.

You reached up, taking hold of his shirt and suspenders to peel them from his shoulders. The cool air nipped his skin, though it didn't quell the warmth that slowly spread through him. He closed his eyes from your softness, aware of the way your hands explored him. Just this alone brought a brighter light in the darkness of his inner thoughts, slowly diminishing the skepticism that plagued him.

Your fingers rested on the back of his neck, applying gentle pressure to bring him to you. As your lips met you grasped his hand, placing it gently upon your own shirt.

Hesitant as he was, fingers twitching across the buttons, he longed for more.

Without a pause you guided him with ease, directing him along the line as they parted. The silky fabric of your chemise grazed against his knuckles. He opened his eyes, pulling back to view. Your shirt fell from your shoulders, pooling on the ground around your feet.

Your skirt was soon to follow, the billowing waves of fabric landing elegantly upon the worn wooden floor. Down to nothing but your unmentionables, you placed Arthur’s hands onto your waist. Heat radiated through the thin fabric like a furnace. You inched closer, pressing your body against his. You were so delicate compared to him, even though you presented yourself otherwise.

He wanted to touch you more, to feel your bare skin in his palms. His reluctance fueled by the remaining dregs of apprehension stopped him. He idly tested the fabric between his fingers, unsure whether or not to move forward. Your eyes reflected patience, silently awaiting his decision.

I trust you too.

Releasing a shuddering exhale, Arthur tugged the straps down from your shoulders. Your breasts, perfect and round, were revealed to him as he peeled it away. You aided him further, sliding the entire piece down your waist, falling past your legs to join the rest of your clothes on the floor.

You were completely nude now, standing before him with shameless confidence. He gazed at you up and down while drinking in the lovely sight with careful precision. Lord, you were gorgeous. A Goddess next to such a plain man such as himself. He almost felt shameful to even stand in your presence.

You stepped closer, pressing your body to his as you wrapped your arms around his neck once more. Your breasts rested against his chest which left him breathless. Desire began to pool within him, stirring heat in his very core. He bit his lip with an inability to hinder the ever growing arousal. He held you again, resting his hands just above the curve of your rear. Trailing his fingertips up and down your spine, reveling how good you felt to him.

He soon found the courage to venture further, falling to the lust that took hold of him. Your butt felt heavenly to him, kneading your flesh which produced a quiet moan from you. Standing on your toes, you placed your lips upon his neck, trailing quick kisses along his pulse point and his stubbled chin, leaving no part of his skin untouched.

Your fingers ghosted across his arousal, too prominent to ignore it. You’d make quick work with the buttons, releasing him of his confinements. He felt the last of his clothes fall from him, exposing him in his entirety. He didn’t have time to react nor comprehend, as you’d taken his length in your hand without hesitation. A soft groan elicited from him as you smoothed your hand up and down. He could only stand there, allowing your control to flood him completely.

You quickened your pace, his groans only becoming louder. He could absolutely melt from your touch at this point, having gone so long without the company of anyone but his own. His grip on you tightened in need for more. His knees trembled from your thumb running across the head, and he released a shuddering breath.

And then, you stopped. A protest built in his throat as you stepped back, only to beckon him towards the bed. He followed without question, allowing you to push him to sit on the edge. You straddled him to sit daintily on his lap as you pulled him into a deep, heated kiss. Your hand found his length again, languidly stroking him with a light touch. He moaned into your mouth, tongues batting against one another at a slow pace. He could feel your heat on his legs, accompanied by the slight moisture. Daringly reaching down, he found your center without hesitation.

His fingertip encircled your bud. You shuddered on top of him, eliciting a soft moan of your own that sent a rush of fire through his stomach. His strokes hastened, vainly seeking for more of your pleasure. He tantalizingly stroked you with intent to prolong it. He enjoyed listening to you, knowing that he was eliciting such delectation. You ground into his grasp, pressing your torso to his once again. Your touch had become more feverish against him, ripping your lips from his to express yourself with a high mewl. You’d responded with dragging your thumb underneath his pink head, teasing the sensitive skin. He bucked up into your grip with a deep groan.

His fingers idled at your entrance, marveling at your slick. He slid one finger in as he explored your inner walls, stroking against your heat with slow precision. He’d lost count of the years past that he’d touched someone in such a way, although his memory of them was still as clear as day.

You uttered a gasp, a product of him discovering your spot. He curled his finger teasingly within you, adding another for enhanced effect. Soon you were reduced to a writhing mess on his lap, you gripped his shoulder with your free hand until he felt the sting of your nails.

A soft hiss slid across his tongue. The pain was not bothersome, only adding to the growing flames that resided within him. Though with each passing second, his yearning for you only increased. He wanted you, needed you. Years of missed opportunity leading to this moment.

He stared at your face. Cheeks flushed with a beautiful rosy glow, your lips parted and your eyes unable to focus. Because of him. He brought your attention back, one hand resting upon your cheek as your eyes met. He could get lost in how gorgeous yours were.

You seemed to understand him. Unspoken messages passed across an unseen bridge. Clarity formed on your face as you released him, then wrapped your arms around his neck.

Take me.

He held your hips, waiting patiently as you maneuvered yourself over him. As you sunk down, his eyes kept to yours as you began to seat yourself comfortably, a breathless gasp sliding from his mouth. Your inner walls were so hot, so wet…his grip tightened slightly at the sensation, holding himself not to thrust up into you.

Engulfed to the hilt, your hips canted as you began to rhythmically move against him. The ripples that accompanied it were breathtaking, a deep groan emitting from his chest. He couldn’t help but to move along with you, keeping in sync as you danced atop his lap. Your sweet sounds of pleasure were almost musical, filling his mind abuzz.

Your sight lost focus as you threw your head back, calling out his name in such a melody it made him blush. He was doing this to you. Him and only him. He could get lost in your essence just listening to your voice. His lips attached to your heated skin, beginning to slowly leave his marks on you, along your neck and across your collarbones. Your fingers stroked through his hair. You sighed into his ear, every praise and encouragement laced in your voice that seemed foreign to him but encouraging all the same.

Your fingers had brushed across his jaw, offering slight pressure to pull his head up. He met your lidded gaze, face flushed and mouth slightly parted. He understood your notion, his hands slinking up your back to knot into your hair as he drew you in for another kiss. Mixed sounds drowned out against your tongues with your increased pace. A deep groan vibrated in his chest while he hastened to keep up with you.

His lips parted from yours to catch his breath, taking short huffs before his mouth returned to your body. One hand slid around your torso to your breast. He kneaded it gently in his palm, reveling how soft and warm it felt. His mouth occupied your puckered nipple while his teeth grazed over it. You uttered a whine in response, your entire body trembling on top of him. He gave attention to the rest of your body with his other hand, memorizing every curve and swell. Everything about you felt wonderful. He eventually found his way to your core again, running his fingers along your nub to enhance your pleasure. Your moans only grew from there, your nails leaving their own marks on his shoulders.

You gripped him hard, your voice raising an octave. He knew what it meant as he locked gazes with you and he rubbed you faster, coaxing out your climax. It only took a half a moment before every muscle trembled around him, your walls clenching his length as your release overtook you. His name graced your lips as you pressed your forehead to his, dragging your fingers down his back. He shuddered from your touch, your climax almost sending him over the edge.

You panted out the last waves of your peak as your grip loosened from him. You straightened up to stare at him, appearing absolutely drunk with ecstasy and adoration for him. His heart leapt from the sight. He grabbed your waist and lifted you from him, turning to lay on the bed in one smooth motion.

He towered over you, keeping his gaze even with yours. You smiled up at him, a warm and inviting smile as your legs spread for him. He smiled as well, running his hands down your sides to stop at your hips. He carefully lined himself with your folds and pushed forward. A soft groan emanated as he sheathed himself within you once again. A brief moment of pause to relish the feeling of joining together again, Arthur caressed your face, keeping his gaze steady. Your hand covered his, and he began to thrust.

Watching your face contort to your pleasure underneath him was the best thing he’d ever seen.

His hips rolled in an undulating rhythm against you. Your hands found their way to his hair. Unblinking stares settled deep in his soul, afraid to look away as if he’d lose sight of your beauty permanently.

Time was lost to him from how deeply buried he was. His surroundings vanished, only focused on you and you alone. His own name filling his ears soon became his favorite song, wrapped in a melody of your moans and mewls. He watched as a second orgasm took hold of you, visibly waving through your body to expel from your mouth.

It was the most gorgeous form he’d ever seen you in. He felt his own pleasure heighten from just watching you writhe and arch beneath him. The way your walls squeezed him again, it wouldn’t be much longer until he would release himself. But he didn’t want to end it so soon.

Your legs wrapped around him, trapping him to you. It was as if you understood what was coming next. Arthur inhaled sharply, driving himself as far as he could. The fire was growing too quickly, too powerful for him to prolong –

I want you.

He squeezed his eyes shut as the release took hold of his entire body. Every muscle clenched while his climax washed over him, emptying what felt like his soul deep in your core. He groaned loudly, his hips snapping weakly against yours until it ebbed away, opening his eyes to see you again.

Your lips were parted and your cheeks were still flushed with a rosy tint. Your lustful eyes glinted beautifully in the light of the late afternoon. He brought himself down to crush his mouth to yours, eliciting a deep kiss despite the both of you gasping for air.

Hell, he didn’t even care. Your gentle fingers raked through his hair over and over, moaning sweetly and breathlessly against his tongue. His tired arms trembled beneath his weight, and he parted his lips from yours. Fatigue struck him like a bolt, and he dropped his head to rest within the valley of your breasts. He intended to roll off to your side, except you didn’t seem to mind. He felt your lips press against the crown of his head and caress his cheek, bringing a soft smile to his face.

After a few minutes of silence, the reality of what happened soon caught up with him. It didn’t occur to him how much he missed you until this very moment, and how stupid he was to ignore his own pining. He should have tried harder to find you, hell, he should have taken you to be his own ages ago if he weren’t such a coward. How much time he wasted ignoring the obvious.

Gone for months, only to appear once again under his nose.

His fingers lazily trailed up your side. You were real, right here with him. His hand searched for yours and you obliged, entwining your fingers with his. He never wanted to let you go ever again.

---

Arthur awoke with the soft song of crickets just outside the window. As he blinked his bleary eyes, he didn’t even realize he’d fallen asleep. The full moon shone through the window, brightening the little cabin with its silver glow. He was still on you, his head was still resting upon your chest, and your deep breathing and slow heartbeat indicated you too were out cold. He shifted himself slightly to look at you, observing your features. His own heart raced just seeing you like that, how beautiful you were even in such a vulnerable state.

His gaze shifted around the cabin. Right at that moment he wanted nothing more than to stay in this cabin with you, to live and sleep and wake up every day to see your lovely face. He wanted it all.

His eyes landed on his gun belt. His Cattleman revolver gleamed brightly and the weight of a harsh reality crashed upon him. As much as he wanted it, he had too much of a responsibility to his gang, his family. It wouldn’t be fair to abandon them now, especially since they were all just getting back on their feet.

He released a silent sigh. Placing a kiss upon your skin, he moved to stand. He hadn’t pulled out prior, and the slightly pleasurable sensation overtaking him nearly made him stop. You shifted as he stood, groaning quietly as his movement aroused you.

“Arthur?” you rasped, your voice heavy with sleep.

His heart sank. He turned slowly to face you and spoke, “I have to go.” Every word felt heavy.

You’d fallen silent. He could see the disappointment and sadness shadowed across your face. You sat up and swung your legs over the side to stand before him. Every curve of you accentuated in the moonlight, illuminating you with an ethereal glow. His hands flexed at his sides, forcing himself to keep from grabbing you.

However, you’d reached forward, taking his hands in your own. He didn’t stop you. “I know you do,” You said quietly, pressing your lips to his hands. “I won’t stop you, as much as I want to.”

His breath caught, thinking back to the argument from earlier. How adamant you were about wanting him to stay. “What changed?” he asked.

You released his hands and stepped back. “You’re an outlaw. No one can tell you what to do.” You answered, a ghost of a smile flitting across your lips.

He’d nearly stepped in sync with you. He however was rooted in the spot, actively arguing with his own conscience. He knew it was the right choice, but damn did it have to hurt this bad?

He turned and silently dressed, collecting his things while he felt your eyes on from the opposite side of the cabin. All the while his mind was yelling at him. Screaming. Demanding he’d stay. Desperately hoping you’d make another attempt. He fought it with gritted teeth as he slung his satchel around his neck and strode over to the door. He rested his hand on the knob and hesitated for a split second.

I love you.

It was such a tiny whisper that he thought he might’ve imagined it. He glanced over his shoulder at you, spotting your silhouette in the darkest corner of the cabin.

His heart plummeted and he opened the door, stepping out into the nocturnal wilderness. As he closed the door behind him, he let out a choked sigh.

I love you too.

---

I’m honestly considering on making this one a trilogy. But before I write anything new, I’m going to work on more of My Little Secret as well as And I’ll Succumb To You. I’ve put off that one especially for a little too long.

[possiblypeachy]

Helloo, so i loooved your last sam drake fic. & I wanted to ask you if you could write a really angsty fanfic about sam with a younger female reader, like 20 years younger (she would be 23) ? I know its a huge age gap so if that makes you uncomfortable you can leave it out but make it hella angsty still (with a fluffy ending) ? thanks in advance ❤

btw im an infp too ;)

infps rise up!! 

thank you muchly for the request! i had to make some interesting google searches for this and i always count that as a win in my book!

y’know when your brain feel like a static TV? yeah, that happened to mine while writing this so i apologise in advance if this is in no way what you asked for :( HOWEVER i do hope you enjoy nonetheless! i do love sam; he’s just a little bastard :,)

warning: this details a heavy injury + a hospital trip so please don’t read on it that makes you feel horrible or anything! also, the reader is younger than same (as requested) but it’s not a like huge aspect of the plot.

if others like this too, feel free to request something from me! 

― ❊ ―

You had always been interested in the hidden corners of the world. For a species that boasted about being the most intelligent, humans knew so achingly little about the world in which they lived. So, when you decided adventure called to you more than any kind of degree could, you put out a few ads in a couple of places and a certain Drake wrote back, enlisting your help with… artefact recovery. You hadn’t expected so many gunfights or bruises or those dreaded mosquitos but you certainly didn’t regret the job, coming away with a few pirate-branded gold coins and a 40-something-year-old partner-in-crime.

You probably could’ve set up for life with those coins alone-- lived a quiet life in a suburb somewhere, joined a dating app and found the love of your life, adopted a puppy, maybe-- but when Sam had called you a month or so after your Madagascan escapade, that same excitement in his voice that you’d become so accustomed to, you didn’t even need a few days to consider before asking him when the next flight was.

Now, to say that going on this rodeo was a good idea could’ve been a lie; you were still young and sprightly, and many would beg (if they even got the chance) for you to reconsider-- oh, but you have such a long life ahead of you, why are you taking it for granted?

Screw them. You’d seen more beautiful things in the past year than they would in their entire lives. So what if you had a couple of scars and scrapes to prove it; it simply adds character.

Well… perhaps this particular scrape would change your perspective on that.

You and Sam had encountered one of those forsaken puzzle things; a series of statues and corresponding paintings behind them. Each held a dagger and held their hand out to shake, a conniving little smirk etched into the grey stone. You had been so achingly confident of the answer-- nothing had gone wrong so far and you were feeling chipper. So, when you called out to Sam that you’d solved it before him, that cocky little quirk to your lips that made him huff out a laugh and shake his head, you didn’t expect his face to drop so quickly, eyes darting from your smile to your abdomen.

There was a sudden, burning pain, and you lurched forwards toward the statue, placing one hand on its shoulder to keep yourself upright. Everything seemed to blur when you looked down, the jewelled dagger now withdrawing from your gut covered in blood. The statue looked as if it had never moved, if you discounted the bloodied weapon it held and the small pool that had accumulated at the base of it. Your free hand, shaking, came down to try to stop yourself from bleeding, fingers almost immediately red and warm. “Sam--” His name was coughed out, the tension it caused making you cry out in pain.

He had seen your smile drop, your eyes widen, the blood bloom across your shirt. He had watched the statue withdraw, that grin it held now dangerous. Oh, fuck. This couldn’t be happening. Sam had promised everyone-- he had promised you that nothing like this would happen. Of course he had fucked it. 

He was already there. He had been there immediately but, beyond the pain and shock, you hadn’t realised. “Holy shit! (Name)?” His hand came to your shoulder and, at the contact, you nearly crumpled, as if his touch had brought you back to reality. Unfortunately, along with that came the more acute realisation of how much fucking pain you were in.

“Oh, fuck! God--” You curled over and vomited. Fuck, it hurt. The movement made you grab at your wound more, muscles trying to tense but just searing with pain instead. Lifting your arm to wipe your mouth felt so much more difficult, lethargy already settling in it seemed.

Sam muttered something to himself, tucking his shoulder under yours and using his arm to help keep you propped up. “We’ll be alright-- you’ll be alright. We just have to get back to the car and--” he cut off, swearing, at least you thought; everything sounded like it was underwater-- muffled and slowed. 

You let your head drop a little, face contorted in pain with each step you took. This wasn’t supposed to happen-- this was never supposed to happen. These trips were meant to be all beautiful vistas and treasure. You didn’t mind the occasional gunfight and, while being punched square in the nose didn’t feel great, you’d let it happen more if only to walk into more of these preserved pieces of history all over the globe. But, this? Fuck this. You should’ve been more prepared.

“Everyone said--” you groaned again and, when you were finally able to muster the strength to look at Sam, he glanced down at you with such panic in his eyes that it almost made your chest churn more than your stomach, “They said this shit would be bad for me.” The laugh you gave was painful and you regretted it immediately, stumbling over your own feet when you tried to hold your abdomen-- as if that would provide some kind of relief. It did not. 

Sam furrowed his brows, moving you slightly to make sure you didn’t slip from his grip. “No, no-- it’s alright! You still got life in you.” He tried to laugh but it didn’t sound like him and that just made you spiral a little faster. “There are still places that are out there waiting for you, okay?” Sam’s voice was rushed, like he was torn between trying to comfort you and just trying to get you both the fuck out of here. 

The light of the outside was blinding, the sun bright and unyielding overhead. Sam fumbled with the keys in his back pocket and then there were the telltale beeps of a car being unlocked. The sound made him flinch but you were beyond that, wanting more than anything to just sleep. It was hard to focus on anything else, actually.

Sam bundled you into the back seat and you groaned at the way your body had to twist and curve into the backseat. Every breath hurt; it was like reliving the injury each time you inhaled. Your hand was blood-covered now but your shaking had died down. It took too much energy to shake-- Hell, it took way too much to even lift your eyelids again after each blink. 

When the driver’s door slammed, you jolted slightly-- like someone had dragged you out of the very early stages of sleep. “Sam,” you began, voice quiet; it was as though you were in another universe entirely, “are we gonna…” you trailed off, forgetting where you were. It was strange: you felt like the pain was subsiding. It was almost… peaceful. 

The car lurched into motion and you saw him glance at you through the rearview mirror. You thought he might’ve been saying something to you, his free hand reaching back to get your attention. Black encroached on your vision and your head lolled backwards briefly but you pulled it forward again soon after as though it were attached to some kind of bungee rope. Is this what dying felt like? 

Maybe you were okay with this. It was calm-- quiet, even. It was almost like the pain had become an afterthought-- a dull thrum in your abdomen. You would miss this, though: the adventures. You would miss the fact that everything seemed more colourful in other countries. You would miss the sweet tang of sea air and how free you felt on the open sea. Despite the blur in your vision, you tried to focus on Sam and his helpless mumbling. Tears welled in your eyes. God, you would miss him too. 

The next time you blinked, your eyes stayed closed.

---

A steady beeping woke you up. That and a horrible white light beating against your eyelids. You tried to groan but even that was difficult with how… disused your voice felt. A chair creaked to your right and then--

“(Name)?” 

It was him.

“Sam…” Trying to sit up was like an instinct but a hand came to your shoulder to keep you down. It was then that you finally opened your eyes, pupils struggling against the light. “Did you find the treasure?”

He breathed out a laugh-- almost like relief. “If you count shitty hospital coffee and the most uncomfortable chair ever as treasure, then yes.”

Your brows furrowed. “Hospital?” The strain on your voice made you cough. This was a bad reflex on your part. An ache flared up again in your lower stomach, and your arm flew there to support the injury. Now, everything was starting to come back. “Ah, shit. I remember. God.”

Beside you, his lips pursed. “Yeah. Almost got bested by a statue, honey.”

You gave him a look and he smiled. Despite his words, the normalcy of it all was comforting. “I may be bed-ridden but I’ll still hit you, old man.” There it was: that smile of yours. He struggled to even feign offence with how relieved he felt at seeing it. In fact, if your eyes weren’t deceiving you, he might’ve welled up a little. “Sam?”

“No, it’s fine. I’m fine.” He rubbed his face before leaning onto your bed. “I was just worried, is all.”

He looked like he had done more than worried; the dark around his eyes told you of that. Quiet fell over you for a few moments and Sam took to rubbing your leg over the array of hospital blankets piled atop you. It was nice, comforting, and for a time you just allowed yourself to be. 

That was until he swallowed loudly-- nervously-- and withdrew his hand. “(Name), I, uh--” he cleared his throat-- not because he needed to but just so he could have a couple more seconds to think about what he was going to say, “I’ve been thinking about what happened, and I know that you’d disagree, but I’m not sure you should--”

You groaned as you shifted yourself up the bed, cutting him off. You knew what he was going to say: that you shouldn’t come on the next trip with him. That would turn into only the occasional call between the two of you, asking about his most recent escapades-- if had any spots open on the crew next time, to which he would decline. Then, there would only be texts-- a barren waste of white space between messages and timestamps that began to highlight the weeks and months between each text. “Don’t, Sam.” His brows furrowed and you pointed a finger at him, accusing. “I know what you’re going to say and I’m not going to listen to you.”

He pursed his lips briefly then pinched the bridge of his nose with a thumb and forefinger. “You could’ve died. You can’t just fuckin’ die--” he leant forward so his ranting wouldn’t disturb any other hospital dwellers, “You can’t die yet; you’re-- what?-- twenty-three?”

“Oh, fuck off, Sam! I’m not a child; I can handle myself!”

In one gesture towards your injury, he had messed up. “Obviously fuckin’ not!”

Silence. Your mouth was agape and he flinched back immediately. For how many times people told Sam to think before he spoke, he hadn’t seemed to have learnt. When the words settled in, you leant away from him, back into the cushions behind you. “I think you should go.”

He blinked once. And, then again. “What?”

You couldn’t even look at him. “Get out. I’ll call a nurse if i need help since I obviously can’t look after myself--”

“You know I didn’t mean it like that, (Name)--”

“How did you fucking mean it then, Sam?” He stood from the chair and it creaked-- the only noise in the room. You didn’t even want to give him the chance to give an excuse. “Or, am I too much of a child to understand what you mean?” In the middle of his pacing, he turned to face you, simply staring despite your ceaseless ranting. “Sorry that I’m such a huge fucking inconvenience to you! It’s not like the same kind of shit has ever happened to you or anything, huh?” He watched as your eyes began to well, face etched with frustration and betrayal, words spat out of your mouth like they put a bad taste there.

He had to cut you off or else you would carry on; you shouldn’t feel like this right after… everything that happened. God, he was such a dick. He shouldn’t have brought this up-- not now at least-- and now look at you: almost crying because of him in a hospital bed thank to stab wound that you got because of him and-- “I don’t want you to get hurt again because I fuckin’ care about you, (Name), okay?” It was his turn to rant now and your turn to stare at him. “And-- and, I have no idea what I would do with myself if you-- if you had fuckin’--” the noise he made was a mix between a sigh and growl, like he was annoyed at himself, then he leant against the end of your bed. A few moments passed; you didn’t know if you were supposed to say something to him during this or not but all you could fathom doing was to just stare at him, dumbfounded. Then, he breathed out a simple: “I’m sorry. For being a dick.”

You swallowed, gaze flickering away from him briefly. Then, you huffed out a laugh-- a terrible mix of amusement and disbelief. “Glad you can recognise it, Sam.” He blinked at you, then shook his head; that certainly wasn’t the response he expected. Something more biting-- venomous--perhaps, but not that. You gestured back to the seat that he had pulled up beside you and, with some degree of caution, he sat down again. You held out a hand and he took it, rubbing a thumb over the underside of it, touch light on your skin. “You can’t prove that this isn’t the painkillers speaking but,” it hurt to lean closer to him but you thought he was worth it-- even with the deer-in-headlights look he had, “I care about you too.”

It was then that he smiled-- grinned, even-- and you finally heard him laugh again. “Oh, I’m definitely holding that against you, (Name).”

“Will you hold this against me, too?” You pulled your hand away from his, only to place it on his face instead, thumb tracing a line over his cheek. His eyes flickered down to your lips, obviously unsure on if he should close the gap, that worry still bubbling in his lower stomach that he was daydreaming again. So, you did instead, the ache in your gut less pressing than your want to kiss him. It was short but to say it didn’t make your heart soar and a faint colour flush Sam’s ears would be a lie. You hand stayed there after, fingers reluctant to move away-- to lose him; the thought scratched at the back of your mind.

He let out a sigh of relief-- a little ‘hoo’ noise coming with it. “You have no idea how much I’ve wanted that.”

[ghostyprince]

your pantherverse au is beautiful and now im obsessed with ryan sneaking round trying to surprise and prod “mrrrps” outta shane. fic would be adorable if your still open to pantherverse requests 💖

i hope you like this, thank you for the prompt, it’s so hecking cute❤ also it’s mostly my friend’s @josemorningstar‘s au tbh, i just help in with it. (he’s happy to answer asks about it too!)

read on AO3

Ryan puts a finger to his lips, twisted into a grin, in a shushing motion, and then he taps the flip camera icon on his phone. Shane’s frame from behind pops up on the screen, sitting on his office chair, legs crossed. He’s editing a photo, probably for a thumbnail, and it’s one of those rare occasions when he’s so focused he doesn’t even hear Ryan walk up behind him.

Ryan is moving slowly, putting one foot after the other with the ease of a predator, skilled in sneaking up on his prey. That is Shane and he does not suspect a thing. Perfect.

The footage shows Ryan reaching out, just as carefully, before going in quick, making contact with Shane’s back, splaying out over the thin fabric of his shirt.

Ryan holds his breath as he does so and a heartbeat later—

Yeah, there it is. Shane jumps, a little sound escaping his lips, a sound that makes Ryan’s grin grow impossibly big. It’s one of his favorites, he’d die happily hearing it.

It’s a mrrp, a sound plenty of cats make when touched unexpectedly, but Ryan’s favorite is the one Shane does. So, of course, he tries to scare or surprise him as often as he possibly can.

He only puts it on Instagram because the whole experience of Shane making that noise is a blessing upon this world that needs to be shared. Well, not too often, Ryan would still like to keep most of the occasions he actually managed to surprise Shane into a mrrp to himself.

He stops recording after he zooms in on Shane’s very much unamused expression, accompanied by Ryan’s belly laugh. He barely had time to pull his phone down and duck out of the way of one of the smaller Paddington plushes flying towards him. Another set of giggles bubble up from his chest before he realizes what Shane actually threw at him.

“Hey, I got that from a fan, asshole!” He scoffs, going to pick poor little Paddington up and set him back on his desk carefully.

“That’s what you get for being a dick,” Shane says, chin propped up in his palm, focusing on his laptop again. There is a flush high on his cheeks and Ryan, once again, can’t contain his satisfied grin. Shane is blushing! He’s blushing and he’s fucking sulking, at that!

Easily the best thing he’s seen all day and it’s only 10 AM.

“But it’s so cute, Shane. Gotta share it with the fans!”

“It’s not fucking cute.” Shane murmurs. He sounds like he’s mad but Ryan catches a glimpse at the hint of a smile behind his fingers.

He knew he won immediately.

“I won’t post it if you don’t want me to.” Ryan offers because he’s a good friend. And he also knows how sensitive Shane is about the sounds he makes, due to having broken meows in his cat form. Ryan personally thinks it’s the sweetest thing ever, but Shane is stubborn as hell.

“Go ahead,” Shane says, letting out an exasperated sigh as if he’d be doing a huge sacrifice. What a drama queen. “I suppose at the very least people will see just how gone you are over me.”

He adds, with a smug drawl to his voice, and it had the desired effect because Ryan’s stomach does a little flip. The one specific flip it got used to doing ever since they’ve started playfully flirting with each other, just tethering on the edge of too much or too dangerous. On the edge of their friendship, before it evolves into something more. More serious, romantic, sexual, just more.

Ryan is still trying to catch his breath after that whole interaction as he settles back in his chair, to edit and post the video on Instagram.

He wonders when they will finally say fuck it, and jump over that line between friendship and something more together.

Or, because it’s them, the Ghoulboys, when will one of them finally drag the other over that line?

The next time Ryan gets the urge to make Shane do that wonderful little noise is when they’re filming the newest season of True Crime.

They’re about thirty minutes in and Ryan is reading his script, then coming to a pause to look at Shane and give him an opportunity to react. But Shane isn’t really looking at him. In fact, he’s just staring right in front of him, so deep in thought, Ryan isn’t sure he’s even in his body anymore.

Normally, Ryan would be concerned, and he is, to a degree, but he knows how hard Watcher has them working at the moment, the anxiety, that their whole company might be a flop. It had a toll on both theirs and Steven’s mental health. Not to mention their sleep schedules.

So it’s not unusual Shane is zoning out, especially while Ryan is trying to talk about some pretty heavy murder case. Ryan does see an opportunity, however, to have a little fun with Shane not paying attention to him.

Everyone kind of just stopped, including TJ, but before he could say anything, ask Shane if he’s okay, Ryan is reaching out, pointer finger extended. He holds his breath, the corner of his lips already lifting into a huge grin and then his finger makes contact with the side of Shane’s face.

And Shane jumps. He flinches more than Ryan had ever seen him, and he’d feel a little bad if it weren’t for that ‘mrrp’. It’s so loud, is the thing and it makes Ryan’s heart sing in happiness.

He bursts out laughing, head thrown back and his whole body bowing into it. There is some laughter from the crew too, but Ryan is too busy looking at Shane, all bright smile and shining eyes, despite Shane’s expression being pissed.

Ryan knows it’s not too serious, he has gotten used to that expression, with how much he’s been a brat lately, at every opportunity he gets, to get a reaction, anything out of Shane.

“Very funny, can we go back to the murked guy now?” Shane asks, trying and failing at covering up his embarrassment.

And well, Ryan could point out how he’s been the one zoning out, but it has no use, Shane is annoyed already, and Ryan does know not to go too far sometimes. He’ll make it up to him later by buying him lunch or something.

“Sure thing, big guy.” He says instead, shooting him one last smile, full of warmth and fondness and it might improve Shane’s mood just a little.

It’s going to be another story for Instagram, and then it will remain a video on Ryan’s phone, sitting there for ages, for him to hit up sometimes and smile about, ear to ear. Show Shane, maybe, as they’re chilling together at Ryan’s, or Shane’s, maybe their own apartment together at that point.

Fuck, they’ve only been officially a Thing for a few days and Ryan is already daydreaming about their future, years down the line. Well, can anyone put the blame on him, really? When Shane is sleeping next to him like that, so unbothered, beautiful in the setting sun that filters through the plane’s tiny window.

His face is smooth, and Ryan has the weirdest urge to kiss his nose, or the small cluster of freckles right above his right eyelashes, or Shane’s slightly parted lips, huffing little breaths of air. He thinks it may be the honeymoon phase of their relationship, all of it being so new. Ryan is simply overwhelmed with the fact that he could do all of that now, and more if he so pleases. On the other hand, he doesn’t think he will ever stop being giddy about that. Or how soft Shane looks when he’s sleeping.

Ryan took a picture of him before he started recording too, it’s easily one of his favorite photos of Shane. And then, because Ryan Bergara is an insufferable little shit who has to entertain himself on the boring plane ride, he figured he might as well try to make Shane do that sound again.

The very first time he shared it with the internet in the form of that office video everyone loved it. So, Shane’s little cat noise had been high demand, people kept tweeting and commenting and yelling at him absolutely everywhere to upload another one of those videos.

And well, who is Ryan Bergara to deny them?

He raises the phone higher, to frame Shane perfectly, and carefully removes his hand from where it was resting, on top of Shane’s. Luckily, he didn’t react to that.

Ryan takes a few minutes, to think about how he’d like to approach it. Simply touching Shane has been done, he should do something more original.

He could poke his nose. Or tickle his neck. Ryan hums and his gaze happens to drift over to Shane’s hair. He could just bury his hand in his hair like he would with a cat’s fur.

He starts recording again, and the mic picks up his amused little chuckle.

“Part two for you folks, here we go.” He announces in a hushed tone before carefully reaching out to bury his fingers into Shane’s oh so soft locks, carding through it, maybe way too lovingly for it to be taken as a friendly gesture.

And then, there it is.

Shane lets out Ryan’s favorite noise and Ryan is fucking overjoyed. Up until Shane full-on tilts his head into Ryan’s hand as he lets out an enthusiastic purr, and Ryan forgets to breathe.

“Ohmygod.”

The words are punched out of his lung, in one breath, smushed together, and when Ryan would listen back to his voice later he would realize how in awe and disgustingly in love he sounded just then.

And he wouldn’t have it any other way.

He ends the video, almost abruptly. His other is still brushing through Shane’s hair, subconsciously, scratching at his scalp with gentle fingers. He feels Shane shudder and then brown, sleepy eyes are blinking back at him. Shane’s purrs go quiet but it reverberates through his chest ever so slightly. Ryan can feel it when his hand drops onto Shane’s nape, tangling into the long strands of hair there too, pulling just a bit, just to feel Shane shudder again, hear the soft growl coming from the back of his throat.

“Stop it, you’re gonna make me horny.” He murmurs and Ryan wheezes, but complies. Reluctantly.

“Did you just take a video of me, by the way?” Shane asks, rubbing a hand down his face, tired. Ryan feels it too, the exhaustion as he looks at his friend, business partner, boyfriend. They’ve really been through an awful lot these months, with Watcher, currently shooting the new season of Supernatural.

But they could always take a nap together.

“Yeah, but don’t worry about it. We’ll talk about it later. Go back to sleep, big guy.” Ryan tells him quietly, pocketing his phone and well, who is Shane to say no to that?

So he does, slipping as far down his seat as his Sasquatch legs would allow him, so he can rest his cheek against Ryan’s shoulder, using him as an impromptu pillow. Ryan does not complain at all.

They would talk about the video, later, when they would be in their hotel room.

Well, it isn’t much of a talk at all, it’s more of Shane watching the video while Ryan worries his bottom lip between his teeth. He shouldn’t even be nervous. He’d understand if the video would end up in his drafts for a few months still, years even.

Then Shane looked up at him, with that incredibly annoying, unreadable expression on his face, before leaning in to press a kiss to Ryan’s cheek. “It’s cute, you should post it.”

That’s all he says, in the most nonchalant way possible and Ryan would like to hit him a little bit for that.

Regardless, the video ends up uploaded onto his feed instead, because it deserves to be there, not just for a day, but for a good while, to mark the beginning of a new chapter of sorts.

It deserves a caption just as monumental, so there are no misunderstandings or a flood of questions later on.

ryanbergara: Part 2 of annoying the boyfriend 💖

Ryan wakes to the sunshine burning his eyes, still feeling as sleepy when he and Shane went to bed last night as he checks his phone. It’s way too early in the morning for either of them to be awake.

And yet, here they are. Here is Shane, turned in a way that Ryan can see the expanse of his back Ryan loves to admire. He sweeps his gaze over his favorite freckles on Shane’s back and the dip of his waist disappearing under the covers. The sunlight drapes over Shane’s back invitingly, making it seem warm, soft and kissable.

He kissed all those freckles many times, and he still can’t get enough of the sight of them, not even so many years later.

He still can’t get enough of waking up next to Shane, seeing him first thing in the morning. Ryan’s heart flutters every time, he simply cannot help it.

There is a faint light coming from the other side of Shane, bouncing off of his hair, suggesting he’s on his phone.

And that won’t do, Ryan is awake and he needs attention.

He moves, swiftly fitting himself behind Shane, with one strong arm wrapping around his waist under the covers securely.

“Mrrp!”

The sound lets something loose in Ryan and he melts behind Shane, his hold tightening around him has Shane complaining in the form of a groan.

Ryan doesn’t care one bit though, he’s purring loudly now, much deeper and powerful than Shane’s purrs normally are, considering he’s a panther. It must reverberate through Shane’s whole body because he relaxes, pressed into Ryan’s chest and head falling back on Ryan’s shoulder.

His hand finds Ryan’s, long fingers curling around his, lacing together and knocking their matching silver rings together in the process.

“You’re crushing me, dumbass.” Shane laughs, quietly, fondly, in contrast to his words.

“Mhm, don’t care.” Ryan hums, pressing a chaste kiss on Shane’s shoulder and hugging him even closer, to prove a point.

“Sure you don’t. Go on, suffocate your poor husband if that’s what I deserve! For being your faithful lover for years and—” Shane cuts himself off with another groan of complaint, attempting to turn out of Ryan’s arms when he has the audacity to wheeze into Shane’s neck.

Yeah, Ryan wouldn’t have it any other way.

[loftyexecutor]

somnium vidisse se dicat in extremis orbis terrarum - 1

Chapter; 1 Rating; T+ WC; 1772 TWs; medical things, needles Pairing; AddElsAin [transform] AU; modern/dreamsharing scifi Summary; Being the best in the industry had its perks. Herrscher's name was known far and wide, work offers coming in left and right, extort this, extort that. But that still didn't stop his boyfriend from getting too tangled up in one of his dreams and switching places with the shade in his head. The shade that he had offered to extort ages ago. Fuck, this is a mess. Notes; its 2020 and this year pushed me to do some things im not proud of. like another els fic. o7 the title loosely translates to ‘the dreamer at the edge of the world’. edgy~~ AO3 LINK

Opening his eyes after hours of being hooked up to an ADSSU always felt like coming up for a breath after diving. The cotton feeling at the back on his tongue and the pounding headache developing behind his eyes did nothing to make the process any easier, no matter how often he delved into the craft.

Waving off the help of the hired technician and physician, he thumbed off the adhesive connecting him to the vitals reading machine and pulled the needle of the IV out of his arm none too gently. He handed it off to the physician, palm up because he had manners, who proceeded to disconnect and throw it out, doing his job of sterilizing the unit for the next use.

By now, his arm looked like an avid drug user’s, and he felt like one as well, with the somnicin levels in his blood well over the recommended dose. Thankfully, that would fix itself within the next hour, and so would, he hoped, the headache.

Next to himself, he could see Herrsch giving the equipment and technicians similar treatment, rolling his shoulders. Herrsch looked over, giving him a smile. Asshole, he never dealt with headaches.

Dox, at one point, joked about him having nothing in that pretty head of his, back before they’d dreamed together. Oh, how wrong he had been, how vast the worlds in Herrsch’s head were.

The dreamer of their latest job was waking up as well, the only person in the room to let himself be treated and checked. 

Dox pulled out his phone from the pocket of his jeans, noting an absence in notifications, but a missed call.

“Immo called,” he mused, thumbing the lock screen away. “Gonna ring back.”

Herrsch gave a nod, eyes tracking him as he got up, shook off the drugs making him drowsy and made his way to the corner of the room to call. Instead, he focused on the dreamer, when all the equipment was removed and the man rubbed at his temples.

The man noticed him, offering a wobbly smile. Extraction jobs always left the subject the most rattled, though they helped in the long run. He couldn’t speak from his own experience, not like anyone has ever run an extraction on him. He wasn’t sure if it were possible at this point anymore.

A thing to ponder later. 

The low hum in the room ceased as the technician powered the ADSSU down, all screens of connected computers and machines fading to black and leaving the room in only the dim light from the overhead lamps.

He looked over to Dox just in time to see his face blanch, brows knitting themselves together like they never expected to be apart again. Herrsch’s followed suit. Not much could phase Dox to that degree.

“You’re fucking with me,” he forced out, barely above a whisper. “Please say you’re fucking with me.”

Whatever he heard obviously didn’t indicate Immo was fucking with him. Herrsch didn’t think he could get any paler with his complexion, but he was proved wrong when Dox turned the same shade as the wall behind him.

“I— We’ll be— We’ll get the earliest flight, fuck, okay. Don’t… don’t go to sleep.” Dox pulled the phone away from his ear to check the clock. “It’ll be like— three? Four? Hours. Fuck, don’t go to sleep. Please.” A pause. “There are Monsters in the pantry. I don’t care if you drink all of them, please just don’t go to sleep.” Another pause. “Yeah. Yeah.”

The call ended with Dox’s arm going slack, falling down to his side, Immo’s photo bright on the screen before it turned itself off. 

Before Herrsch could open his mouth, utter a single sound, Dox turned to him and pointed with his chin towards the door. Obediently, Herrsch nodded, standing from the dream chair and leading the way. He had to hold the door open for Dox, who couldn’t seem to stop shaking.

As soon as it was closed, he turned to him, hand in his hair, and raked his fingers through the long strands in an attempt to calm him. “What was that about?”

Dox opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again, leaned into his touch, closed it again, and let out the shakiest breath Herrsch had heard outside of a panic attack. “Immo…” he whispered, barely audible. “He… He dreamed himself too deep and— somehow, he ended up switching places with Conwell.”

Panic seized Herrsch’s chest, squeezing until he felt he couldn’t breathe.

“So, that was…”

“Mm-hm.”

“Can you get us the earliest flight back?” 

Dox just nodded, already on it, tapping away at his phone with shaky fingers. Herrsch squeezed him against his side for one short moment before rushing back into the room to grab their bags.

--------------- --------------- --------------- --------------- ---------------

Herrsch’s jeep screeched as they parked, tire tracks blooming on their driveway, and the engine wasn’t even fully off before Dox was wrestling with his seatbelt and jumping out of the car.

The front door opened to reveal Queen, with hair askew and a look of an old woman plastered on her youthful face. Just by looking, Dox knew— he knew it wasn’t a joke, wasn’t a ploy to get them to come early, but he had to— he had to check for himself.

Ducking under her arm was no problem even given their heights. He knew their house like the back of his hand, found Immo in the living room, sitting cross legged on the floor with an Xbox controller in his hand and some game on the screen. He was obviously losing, if his annoyed expression was any way of knowing, and even that blasted the alarm sirens in his brain. 

Immo was good at video games.

Empty energy drink cans littered the floor around him, ten, fifteen, twenty-six. Jesus Christ.

“H-hey,” he said, pulling Immo’s — Conwell’s — attention away from the screen. There were bags under his eyes, like he hadn’t slept in days instead of hours. 

“Thank goodness you’re here,” Immo’s mouth said, and Dox focused on that for some reason, the way his lips moved, the words they shaped, sounding for all the world like nothing Immo would ever say. 

Herrsch and Queen talked in the hallway, but he couldn’t make out about what, rooted to the spot. Tears welled in his eyes because — fuck! — he knew what it was like, getting tricked by a shade in a dream and not wake up for days. His legs didn’t feel like his as he crossed the carpet in the living room, offering Conwell one of his hands to pull him up. 

The smile he got as a reward bordered the uncanny valley. Conwell didn’t know how to move Immo’s body like Immo, instead looking like a passable double. For one single, terrifying instant, Dox was worried it was him that was stuck in a dream, one that was imminent for crumbling.

“C’mon,” he choked, refusing to let Conwell see him cry, “Let’s tuck you in.”

Dox lead Conwell downstairs, only stopping to tell Herrsch and Queen that they’d be in the lab, that he’d— keep Conwell stable until Herrsch figured out a way to do an extraction right. Just wake me up when you need me. I’ll keep the dream stable.

Herrsch nodded, his immaculately schooled features betraying all his worry and fears, if only to Dox. It wasn’t a good look on him.

The lab was dark, quiet save the ever-running ventilation keeping the basement breathable. Dox’s fingers found the lightswitch and he went through the motions of turning the ADSSU and all its equipment on, watching with blank eyes at the flat lines and numbers.

“Sit down,” he said, then added a soft, “please.”

Conwell obliged. Dox knew it wasn’t his fault. Logically, he knew Conwell didn’t like this either. He had already had his life, and becoming a dream shade attached to a memento Immo got his hands on and practically possessing the boy wasn’t for the purpose of stealing his body. It didn’t mean Dox wasn’t mad. It didn’t mean he wasn’t considering messaging the board of Dreamers to standardize checks on mementos.

Which is why he tried his hardest not to look at his face, the unnatural, fake smile on his boyfriend’s lips, as he held Conwell’s arm above the elbow. His hand shook, but as soon as he had opened a fresh needle and attached it to the drip of the IV, it stopped. 

He located the vein he knew by heart now, wiping the area with an alcohol wipe and puncturing the skin until he was sure the needle wouldn’t come loose. A strip of medical tape to hold it in place never hurt anyone, either.

He attached the vitals machine with similar detachedness, but didn’t let the IV drip just yet.

“Herrsch,” he called up the stairs, and it was only moments before he appeared, that knowing look on his face. He placed a hand on Dox’s cheek. He cradled it, because it couldn’t be called anything else, and led him to one of the other dream chairs. 

Conwell averted his eyes as Herrsch leaned down, placed a kiss on Dox’s forehead. It had been different to watch such interactions in dreams, through Immo’s eyes. Now he felt like nothing but a voyeur. 

The IV was attached to Dox’s arm for the second time that day, and so were the vitals, and Herrsch turned the IV on immediately, watching the somnicin make its way to Dox’s arm. He felt terrible about the dosage, but there was no way Dox was staying asleep if he didn’t up it.

Dox didn’t make a single comment on it, however, just looked at Herrsch with determination that screamed ‘I’ll do my best.’

Herrsch knew why Dox wanted to do this. Herrsch’s name held more power in the industry, and he was better at talking to people, if only marginally. Dox’s dreams weren’t stable, not most of the time, but in the first layer, it would be more than enough to hold them both for the few hours Herrsch had to think of something. 

Dox’s eyes fluttered closed and the vitals machine evened out as he fell asleep, the tenseness falling off his features momentarily. Herrsch moved to Conwell, turning his IV on as well.

“Don’t do anything shady,” Herrsch warned, looking straight into Conwell’s eyes.

Conwell laughed, voice Immo’s but not like Immo. He wasn’t so stupid to try anything, and even if neither Dox nor Herrsch believed it, he cared about Immo as well.

And he knew a threat when he heard one.

[golbrocklovely]

only the lonely survive // colby brock - chapter one: just another la devotee

A/N: so... I’ve had this story in my head for a long time, and now I’m finally posting it! I have a bunch of chapters already written, but I’m gonna be posting the first two just so ppl can get a read for them and see if they like them. and if i get some good feedback, i’ll post weekly :)

here’s the description of the story

trigger warning: swearing

word count: 1766

DAY: 1/14

"Are you sure you have everything?" My mom asked, standing in between me and the front door. 

I rolled my eyes, "Yes mom. I literally went over this with you last night. I've been packed for, like, three days now."

She sighed, smiling. "I know, I just don't want you to leave yet. I can't believe I'm not gonna see you for two whole weeks. How will I survive?"

"You'll be fine, trust me. Besides, this is like a trial run to see what it will be like when I actually move out to LA." I stated, grabbing my bags and pulling them closer to me.

"That's not funny, Skylar." Her voice was deadpan. Oh no, not this again.

"I wasn't trying to be, Mother." I remarked, my voice the same as hers.

She exhaled, "Let's not argue before you leave. We'll talk about it when you get home though."

"That's fine with me." I smirked. Then, I heard my phone vibrate. I looked down at it, seeing I had a new message from Casey.

 Casey: ayeee bitch im here leTS GOOOOO

 I chuckled and then looked at my mom, nodding my head. I opened my arms to her, and she smiled sadly. We embraced, hugging as hard as we could. As much as I couldn't wait to leave, I'm still going to miss my mom.

"Text me when you land, okay? Make sure to call me every night, or as often as you want. Whatever hour, it doesn't matter." She whispered.

"I will, Mom," I said pulling away from her. "I love you."

"I love you too, Skye." She leaned in and kissed my cheek. I grabbed my bags and opened the door, seeing Casey in her red Jeep. She waved at my mom.

"Have fun! Don't do anything too crazy! Make sure to use protection!" My mom yelled.

I groaned. "Would you like to yell that to the whole neighborhood?"

"I meant sunblock, not condoms. But now that I'm saying it, maybe don't use too much protection. Ya looking a little pale, and I want grand kids anyway." She laughed.

I snorted, "Bye mom!"

"Bye honey!" She grinned, slowly closing the door.

I rolled my bags over to the car, opening the backseat's door. I threw my luggage in, closed the door, and then opened the passenger side. I huffed, winded from how heavy my bags were.

"Did you bring your whole closet?" Casey asked.

"Just about." I sighed, jumping into the car.

"By the way, I fucking love your mom." She giggled.

Starting up the car, the radio turned on. Panic! At The Disco's 'LA Devotee' started playing. It must have been from Casey's playlist, specifically made from our trip to LA.

After a moment of silence, I smiled. "Oh my God, we're actually going to LA. Like, this is happening."

We both looked at each other. Then we screamed excitedly.

"I have been waiting so fucking long for this to happen!" She yelled, turning up the music.

"You're telling me! The fact that we are actually leaving Philly and going all the way across the country to fucking Los Angeles... is fucking mind blowing. Like, I can't believe it. Why did it take us so long?" I sighed.

We both sighed and nodded our heads at each other, "School."

"If only we could have graduated sooner." I stated, shrugging my shoulders.

"If only we had met sooner." She smirked. I smiled back at her.

Casey and I hadn't been friends that long, only three years. We met because we both went to the same college. I was in the theater program working on my acting abilities, while she was taking dance. We ended up meeting because we both got into the same musical - 42nd Street. If you've never heard of that show, that's understandable. It's old as hell, but honestly still a good musical.

Casey is originally from Florida, while I've always lived in Pennsylvania. We connected with each other because we were both the outcasts. I was always overlooked, not for lack of talent but I'm overshadowed easily. She, however, is amazing at dance and always picked first. This caused a lot of jealousy to be thrown her way, but she took it like a champ.

We also have a lot of the same interest - youtubers to be exact. While we both love the bigger influencers, like Shane Dawson and Jenna Marbles, we also love a lot of relatively smaller ones. Like, the Trap House for instance. We talk about the guys a lot, especially Sam and Colby. I mean, I do most of the talking while she just listens.

Because of them, we started youtube channels. We're pretty popular on there, having both around 500+ subs. She does dance videos, while I do random covers, Q and As, and just whatever I can think of.

"So, explain to me again why we didn't have to pay for a place to stay at?" I asked, turning my head towards Casey.

"My uncle owns a bunch of properties out in LA and he turns them into AirBnbs so I asked if I could 'rent' one for two weeks and he was cool with it." She shrugged her shoulders.

"Thank God you have a rich uncle because otherwise I don't think I could have afforded this trip." I groaned, annoyed.

"What? You mean making eight dollars an hour can't afford you the luxury of living in LA?" She snorted.

I fumed, "No bitch. I can barely afford ramen at this point, and that shits three for a dollar."

"Don't get your panties in a twist now. We both got enough for the trip, and my uncle also stocked the house with food, so we'll have some when we get there. Plus, he's lending me his car for the time being too, so transportation won't be the biggest bitch." She responded.

"Why does everyone have a rich uncle but me?" I mumbled. She slapped my leg and laughed. I giggled back at her.

/  /  /  /

"Skye, Skye... Skye wake up!" Casey whispered, loudly into my ear.

I jolted awake, glaring at her immediately. She snickered back at me.

A muffled voice came over the loudspeaker, "Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We will be landing in Los Angeles in 15 minutes. The temperature right now is a cool 75 degrees. It is currently 2:38 pm. On behalf of me and the crew, thank you for flying American Airways and enjoy the rest of your day."

"Oh shit we're already here?" I asked, shifting myself in my seat.

"Yeah, the moment we got off the ground, you went out like a light." She replied.

"Well, I'm sorry but waking up at the ass crack of dawn isn't something I usually do so I'm little tired." I retorted.

"Yeah whatever. Oh, so you know, we don't have to get a cab anymore to get to the house. I have some friends out here and one of them is gonna pick us up from the airport. He's leaving right now." She stated.

I nodded my head, "Oh that's good. I remember you telling me about your friends, but like, you never went into detailed of who they are."

"The one that's picking us up is an old friend from Florida. We used to live next door to each other until he moved out to LA and I left to go to school in Philly." Casey explained, grabbing her carry-on bag and putting her phone inside of it.

"What does he do?" I questioned.

"Uh... he does youtube and he's a dancer, like myself. He's the one that got me into dance to be honest." She explained, shrugging her shoulders.

"Oh wow, I must meet him then. Without you being a dancer, I never would have met you." I smirked.

She laughed. "How much would your life suck if I wasn't in it?"

"Honestly I would be better off." I joked.

The plane soon landed. After getting our stuff and rushing out, we went and got our luggage.

Casey had told me she had been to LA multiple times, mostly to come visit this friend of hers that lives here. She told me that he has a bunch of roommates that we will probably meet at some point during our stay.

After waiting outside for ten minutes, Casey started to get impatient.

"Ugh, where is he?" Casey groaned, tapping her foot on the ground and looking out into the street.

"Didn't you say he was leaving for us while we were still in the air? Shouldn't he be here by now?" I replied, leaning against my luggage.

"Traffic in LA is a bitch..." She mumbled back.

We both looked down the street, car after car after car passing us. None of them were him apparently.

"Oh shit there he is!" She yelled, pointing at a black car come toward us.

I squinted, trying to see who was driving. I shrugged and grabbed my bags, turning my back to the car pulling up next to us. I grabbed my phone and sent my mom a quick text saying I had landed. She would have been pissed if I didn't say something to her soon.

"It's so good to see you! What's it been, like a year, since I last saw you?" Casey shouted.

I turned around to see Casey hugging the person, their back to me. He was kind of shortish, even though he was still taller than me. He had his hair in a short ponytail. He was wearing a sweatshirt, jeans, and sneakers.

"Let me introduce you to Skye." Casey said, pointing at me. Her friend then turned around.

My eyes widened. I shook my head, trying to look away and play off the fact that I knew who her friend was.

"Skye, this is Corey. Corey, Skye." She smirked.

"It's nice to meet you Skye." Corey replied, sticking his hand out.

"Uh, it's nice to meet you too. T-thank you so much for picking us up." I stuttered, shaking his hand.

"No problem. Sorry I'm late though, traffic has been backed up for like the last five miles. Here, let me take your bags." He slowly took my bags from me and popped his trunk, putting them in.

I turned to Casey. "We are having a serious talk when we get to the house."

"What's there to talk about?" She joked. She turned towards the car and got into the passenger side. I rolled my eyes, getting into the backseat.

| CHAPTER 2 >>

[killiantaylorua]

Chap 2 The Start Line, And a Skill Gap

Chap 2 The Start Line, And a Skill Gap

The Names Jaqueline Roberts, but I have already thought about my hero name. JaqRabbit. I used to tell my friends everyday, that I would be one of the best pros in America. Fame and fortune, and a large record of saving lives. Oh, my quirk, well technically i have two. Rabbit, all the gifts that entails, that includes super jump, incredible speed, exceptional hearing and smell, and finally powerful claws that aid in combat and digging, exceptional for those caught in mudslides. Thanks mom for an awesome quirk! My secondary quirk is JackHammer, my legs have a motor that vibrates up and down, striking the ground or whatever surface I am standing on and smashing it apart. However, if im not careful and I overuse the motor, I get the shakes in my legs. I cant move them till they stop moving from the recoil. Thanks Dad, for something. His quirk ended up pairing up with my rabbit quirk, providing my legs a passive boost that causes my jumps to shatter the surfaces i jump from unintentionally. Makes trying to be a QBall player very difficult.

What! You have never heard of QBall! So normal sports became hard to regulate, so a new one was created. Q ball, or Quirk ball, based around soccer, an indestructible ball is put in the middle of the field. The teams using their quirks have to get the ball from the center into the enemies net. The net is similar to a soccer net but with tough metal chains instead of the regular netting. You can do anything to get the ball into the other teams net, however, teleport quirks and others that are far beyond everyone else ability, blitz type runners specifically. You know, cause no one can stop because they are so fast. The teams are made up of a brute, one runner, two offenders, two defenders, and one net guardian. UA America has one of the best QBall teams, and i Intend on getting on that team. As well as become a hero. Wouldn't it be awesome if i became a hero and a Qball Athlete. I could do both!

The start of my dream though. It's the spring UA America Entrance Exam, which is today. I left my house in a hurry, excited and ready to begin an awesome adventure. I ran there and i came upon the opening gate. I walked forward headed toward the entrance. As I walked, I noticed two guys that made the news but i couldn't remember who they were.. One a shaved head, red skinned guy, covered in muscle wearing sneakers, a wife beater, and some khaki shorts. He had a big stupid grin as he stared at the entrance to the school.

“This School, think it'll be useful Corvus? Give us some experience we haven't seen in the field, haha?” His voice was slightly higher, he spoke with some cockiness, oozing with pride.

“Careful Thermite, this may bore you, but we could use the exposure. Imagine, if we showed how strong we are, we might get some interesting villains to hunt us.” This one was drastically different. A black turtleneck, black jeans, black socks, black sneakers, even a weird black mask covering the top half of his head. It gave his head a dome like appearance. He had a shy voice, but intelligence and curiosity seemed to sprout from his voice. Also hunger. He was also muscular but the turtleneck and jeans were a little big so his body was mostly hidden. He seemed to be much more humble. I tried to walk over to say hi and listen to their conversation, but…

“Ooh i'm so sorry!” I ran directly into the strangest person I have ever met. He wore a forest green hoodie, black gloves, blue jeans, white socks and some gray sneakers. He wore a mask that covered his entire head and seemed to go under his hoodie. It was black, skin tight and had a weird hypnotizing effect. When you moved it switched from black to crimson constantly, it was… calming.

“Oh, no, I'm so sorry, i… I didn't see you, just oh i'm nervous I didn't see you, I oh!” He had a kind voice, nervous, scared, high energy. Yet oddly, i dunno cute.

“No it’s alright, I walked in front of you, it's my fault.”

“Oh…” Suddenly he ran off. Way too terrified. I looked at my watch and nearly fainted. The orientation was about to begin. I ran into the building, following the signs to the orientation room. I made my way to the back of the room. And stared out over the crowds of people. The lights blacked out, and on a stage in the center of the room, a square of the stage fell out, and a man rose out. He was dressed in some nice brown slacks, shoes, socks, and a brown coat over a yellow button up with a crimson ascot. He wore a brown top hat, and a smile from ear to ear. He seemed to be constantly bouncing, spinning around on a solid brown cane with a mic on the top. Speakers came down from the ceiling, and screens with old timey black and white backgrounds came down. Swing music, played primarily by sax and jazz played through the room. Suddenly an old time radio voice, accompanied with what we thought was an old radio filter but was just his voice.

“Hello, hello, wannabe heroes! Welcome to the hardest test you will ever have. HaHa!”

Suddenly his voice changed, it went from jovial to serious. “Its been over 6 months since we lost the symbol of peace. So.. we altered the test! You will be fighting robots in different fake cities. Each robot has different points, except for one, the strongest, as it has 0! Get the most points and the top 40 of you will officially be added into our hero program. However a twist has been added. Normally we have something called rescue points and that usually is related to helping your fellow heroes, however, thanks to HUC or the Help us Company have volunteered to be some civilians. Simply bring them to the safe zones and you get your points. There is also a surprise, But I can't ruin My fun! HaHa!”

“In front of you cards have been given, they tell you what cities you will be battling at. We made sure to split you up, so you would have to team up with other heroes if you want to buddy up. Oh beforehand, you have a written test, but now the pressure of the fighting will disrupt you brains! Heroes have to be able to think with stressful situations! Have fun!”

We were ushered out to a similar room and had the written test. I gotta admit, i'm a very physical person, don't care much for education. But I did practice. After 6 hours, it was time for the combat. We were bused out to different cities. I got city E along with Thermite. As we approached the city, we saw huge concrete walls and an equally large door. It completely shielded the city from sight so we never got a good idea of what we were entering.

We hopped out of the bus and I limbered up. Gotta stretch before crushing some, and what the hell is happening? An explosion ripped through the walls of the city. As the smoke cleared, we saw a burning city and sidekicks of some of the Pros.. The sidekicks met us at the entrance, wearing numbers, points, wait.

“So trainees, there might have been a slight lie. Instead of robots, sidekicks will be your targets! And we begin in , 3, 2, 1! Sorry kids but this year is…”

Before he could finish Thermite jumped in. He was covered in flames, white flames! He swung out and the pro hero was sprawling on his back. Thermite was giving off so much heat that when he got close the sidekicks were burned and had to fall back to avoid 3rd degree burns. Thermite removed his flames, and put his foot on the sidekicks and they surrendered immediately. Thermite turned back to face the others.

“Ok heroes,” Thermite called. “Outta my way, if you get burned, know you idiots were warned. I'm gonna take down every villain i see. Time to show these sidekicks who the true best hero is! Now get Lost! He turned and ran into the city. It was at that moment The conversation he had earlier made more sense. He was cocky because he knew how good he was and had the strength to dominate the competition. Suddenly I remembered who he was. He was part of the duo of villain hunters in Anderson. Thermite and Corvus, captured 30 villains on their own. Corvus never takes credit, saying Thermite did everything, but Thermite gives him credit anyway, though no one knows why.

Two more Sidekicks came out, but known of us knew how to proceed. “They’re wearing weights, slowing them down, making them easier to defeat.” A powerful voice tore through the air coming from the back. A man wearing a suit with a Black vest, white button up with white gloves, black dress pants, and black dress socks, and black dress shoes. His eyes were a ruby red, he looked young, and highly analytical, though he seemed to be focused. Black metal started leaking from his mouth, before he suddenly through his head back. He opened his mouth and it coming pouring out covering his face, hands and shoes. It hardened looking like knights armor on those parts. Yet more poured out of his face, falling on the ground. It formed a battleaxe that he picked up and swung it at the heroes. 

“Let me eviscerate you!” He shouted. He moved with extreme speed and knocked the two sidekicks too the ground with the flat side of the battleaxe. They didn't get up absolutely terrified. 

“Surrender weakling heroes,” This man start laughing hysterically, insanely.

“If you weaklings are gonna stand out here, then I'm going to have so much fun,” He tried to regain his exposure. His voice Cracked, “Sorry, battle lets some, emotions out. Come on, let's clear this City.” He ran into the city, and I looked at the others. It was time to take the courage and step forward. I'm going to be on that Qball team, and a hero. Whatever. I run forward into the city ready for anything, or so i hope!

[earnestly-ernie]

[ kj apa, twenty one, cis male, he/him ] ━ hey, I just saw [ ernie taera ] walking down the streets of crownsville. they’ve lived in town for [ one week ], and you can catch them around town working as a [ personal trainer ]. I hear they’re known to be [ loyal & passionate ] and [ gullible & possessive ]. if asked, they would say their aesthetic would be [ gym equipment, eating fastfood late at night in car park, varsity jackets, cologne, band posters, flannel, beaches ]

re-reading the rules to double check i had everything down and seeing the possibility of a second muse made my indecisive brain very happy ahhh

below the cut is ernie’s history, some personality tidbits and wanted connections!!

 (i was gonna do sth like i did for blair’s intro post but im lazy sksks)

history

ernie was born as the second child of four in wellington, nz to a samoan father and a british woman

he likes to think he was named after ernest hemmingway or one of the kings of hanover but everyone jokes he was named after the sesame street character

his family growing up were super close and often did a ton of stuff together; this was seen as abnormal in the immediate community because both of his parents were high up business people and the stereotype was that they didn’t have time for family

ernie grew up with a stronger sense of his maternal heritage as his father lost his family when he was quite young and thus didn’t immerse himself in his culture; ernie, concurrently, is trying to explore his samoan heritage

growing up, ernie was your typical kid who liked video games; he had a particular love for pokemon, mario and nintendogs. he was also into the grand theft auto series but mostly driving about and not doing the missions

he got into rugby around the age of nine and proved to be fairly decent at it; he eventually joined the school teams for it and looked to have a promising career if he ever wanted to take it professionally

fairly popular throughout all forms of schooling; it took a dip when he was fifteen and was unashamedly open about his bi-curiosity

for the most part, however, he had a ton of friends at any given point in his life

at the age of eighteen he was scouted by one of the professional rugby teams in new zealand and became a professional rugby player

was pencilled in to join the all blacks but ended up being unable to due to a career ending injury; he had to become ambidextrous because of the injury

he ended up getting a degree in physiology and did a few courses in coaching and refereeing in rugby but ended up becoming a reputable personal trainer mostly because it paid a bit better

has moved to crownsville with the plan for it to be temporary. he always said he’d live in another country and the quaint town life was appealing to him. 

though he has plans to move back to new zealand in about three or four years, he’s open to being convinced to stay longer

personality (starting with the four listed traits)

loyal - ernie is a fiercely loyal individual. whilst growing up he had a ton of friends, he had barely any close friends and he actively chose to be loyal to them in case they were to abandon him. spurred on further by his close familial relationships and the brotherhood of the rugby teams he was a part of, ernie is as loyal as any dog

passionate - one of the standout things is that ernie will always throw himself into things, whether that be a friendship, relationship, job, hobby - whatever. ernie always gives 110% and has a tendency to dedicate his life to his interests. he’s particularly passionate about dogs and rugby

gullible - whilst not pertaining wholly to the ‘dumb jock’ stereotype, ernie isn’t going to win any awards for his academic knowledge. he was able to excel at his degree because he knew a lot of it from the practical side of rugby, rather than raw knowledge. though his gullibility does mean he can sometimes be led to believe the wrong facts, it largely centres around his loyal nature. if a client was to tell him they couldn’t meet for a session and lie, saying it was because their hamster died, ernie would become sentimental and empathetic and offer all the support. likewise, if you tell him something’s written on the ceiling, he’ll look. every. single. time!!

possessive - for however loyal ernie is, he also can get possessive. largely thanks to having few close friends growing up, ernie is the type of person to feel threatened when he sees close friends get close to other people, largely out of a fear of being replaced. whilst this is largely centred around relationships, he can also get possessive over objects he owns, a notable example being the car he has because he retains he worked hard for it and thus nobody else can drive it. he’s trying to be less manically obsessed with things, but it’s a hard trait to shrug off overnight. 

in a basic sense, ernie is the personal trainer who’ll hype you up and want to be your best friend. bright and nearly always smiley, it seems hard to dampen his mood

he’s a massive teddy bear and  l o v e s cuddles!!! his favourite cuddle buddy at the moment is his german shepherd puppy, cato

always!! means!! well!!! is known to make a lot of social faux pas (he blames it on the american culture being different to the new zealander and british ones he grew up with) but tries his best

still always uses british english, though

sarcastic!! tongue in cheek is his favourite type of humour. he is partial to dark humour but is aware it’s not everyone’s cup of tea

very emotional in that he wears his emotions on his face; it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know when he’s feeling down

isn’t the type of person to vent without permission but, when you give it to him, he won’t shut up

he could talk for ages about literally nothing, let alone something he’s interested in

proud of his bisexuality, largely because he had wanted to be a role model in the rugby field for any fledgling players who felt the same way

having a career ending injury literally in his second year of his career is a sore spot for him, so don’t mention it often unless you want a sad ernie :(

honestly just a massive puppy, love him

fun facts!

is ambidextrous; naturally left handed but a rugby injury meant he had to learn how to write with his right hand (though it’s healed, he often finds that his left wrist is prone to aching quicker so he’s pretty much exclusively a right-handed writer)

does a mean english accent (specifically upper middle class just like his mum; think the crown-ish)

though his scottish and irish accents are pitiful, he could convince you that he’s welsh given a proficiency in his accent

has a german shepherd puppy called cato

is allergic to peanuts

has a big issue with the texture of food; would genuinely take the time to take the seeds off of a strawberry

isn’t a fan of diets; believes in the ‘eat what you want but in moderation’ style

wanted connections!

friends

a friend that’s taken him under their wing

hookups (m/f)

budding romances

clientele 

workout buddies

rugby friends

literally anything im indecisive!!

i feel like i could’ve done more but!! that’s all i could think of ahhh

if you want to plot with ernie, like this post and i’ll come im you (or you can spam my inbox with any ideas you might have sksksks)!!

[this-brownie]

3.31.20

it feels therapeutic to write things out and be able to put my thoughts into words that I can visualize. I, sadly, had to stop writing in my old blog because Tumblr locked me out of it because I no longer had access to that Email…fucking yahoo and 2007 emails…anyway. I want to do a continuation from that blog so I will be making quite some posts about my past, starting from around April 2016.

https://somebrownie.tumblr.com

lets begin with a little background. so dad died on April 16 2017, but he had been sick for years before that. it first started off with slurred speech almost like he was drunk or something, which was when I was in tenth grade, and then progressed to him not being able to speak at all, resorting to writing on paper to communicate with us, not being able to eat solid foods anymore, having to get a tube attached onto his throat, bringing in medical equipment that was situated on his bed while he slept, and eventually having to move to a nursing home completely where he spent his final two years. I am not going to discuss what a domineering and prideful man he was, what a workaholic he was, how he tried to show us his love and affection through money and materialism, or how his death impacted me. those can be discussed at a later time. 

one positive result that came from this situation is that I had a little more freedom in pursuing the life I wanted. my mom always looked to him for guidance on every decision— I knew I wouldn't be able to marry the person who I loved because he would never allow it. Levi is a jew after all and as a muslim im supposed to hate him, of course. after he died, my mom became severely lost— she had never been completely independent. however, she still had her reservations when I told her who I wanted to marry. I had to be extremely forward, logical, and manipulative about it because old habits and a lifetime of molded mentality don't wash away that easily. a few factors helped me achieve my goal: I was in the process of graduating and had no means to get a job in my field because I didnt have the legal papers to reside in this country. by getting married, I would obtain a green card which would allow me to make money and make use of my degree. also, there was less pressure to uphold an image for our distant family and relatives— people had naturally started distancing themselves the sicker my dad became. less wealth flowed into our house meaning less parties to throw, less opportunities to give gifts to others, and less reasons to cook fancy food. this all contributed to people checking up less on my mom— all these people who she hold so dearly, couldn't give less of a fuck when they had nothing to benefit them. I asked her, are these the people youre trying to impress? is this the reason you want to hold me back? because it won't look good to THEM even tho they don't help us  at all? even while we are struggling? the last sneaky tactic I pulled was telling her that there are several friends who are willing to marry me, but at a cost. only one person who is willing to do it without a charge (good old Levi haha). and to my utter shock, she slowly agreed. I wasn't sure if she completely understood so I confirmed…”you know that means I have to live with him right…in case the lawyers check?” she said she understood and was okay with it. sweet success. that was June 2018.. in a couple months we will have been married for two years now.

Levi and I have been seeing each other since 2011. so our marriage was….a long time coming to say the least. luckily I had the chance to meet almost all of his immediate family members before we fully committed. the first people I met were his aunt candy and uncle chuck way back in 2013 for thanksgiving, and then again for Levis graduation ceremony in 2014. I've gone over for thanksgiving and passover dinners throughout the years as well. I met Levis parents for the first time in 2015 (I think) in boston and I was deathly nervous. his dad used to teach Jewish studies at both Harvard and yale—he's retired but still gets invited to conferences to gives speeches around the world. his mom opened a free after school program to teach poor children who don't have access to educational resources. so ofc I was so nervous I could hardly breathe. I wore a cute, not too revealing, dress and minimal makeup. thankfully, they steered the conversation and actually didnt interrogate me too much. we mostly just told stories which was nice. I remember one conversation where I talked about my degree in linguistics, my affinity for learning and understanding how languages work, and seamlessly adding an anecdote from a tv show that Levi and I watched from just the night before. the person on tv, I think he may have been European, wasn't able to pronounce the word “skewer” which I found very interesting because there are many sounds our tongues can't produce because we are not used to moving them in that certain way. something about the brain and tongue not being able to make the connection between the ways a foreign word is spelled and the different areas it has intonations. like, native Spanish speakers would have a difficult time saying an English word that starts with ‘sp’ like “special” or ‘sk’ in “school” because in their language the letter s isn't followed by another consonant; the sound of the letter ‘e’ always precedes the ‘s’ (like if you were to literally sound out the letter ‘s’)-- so a speaker would pronounce it as “especial”. anyway! I told his parents this tidbit that I found intriguing and added that Levi isn't able to pronounce the sound ‘gh’ but his dad was able to make all those sounds perfectly! which impressed me and put a smile on my face. his mom, who is French, was practicing the different sounds herself (not properly) and his dad just makes eye contact with me, rolls his eyes in a goofy way aimed at his wife, which cracked me up because here is this sweet woman trying her best and her silly husband secretly, but lovingly, making fun of her. it touched me because it felt so tender and genuine, when I had never really seen something like that exchanged in between my own parents.

I met his younger sister and middle brother, but only after we got married. his sister alissa is a such a sweet, quiet, docile woman who really looks up to and adores Levi. she used to stay near us while she studied law at nyu. his brother David is animated, quirky yet can be very serious, and is very kind as well. I probably didnt leave a good first impression because the three of us had been walking to a restaurant and this HUGE man and his huge ass fucking dog purposely bumped into me, in order to get by me. I don't think Ive ever gotten that angry at a stranger. I was actually in pain at how hard he smacked into me. I started cursing and Levi was shocked that I was being so loud/violent especially in front of his family member. I just said “did you see his fucking size? did he really need half the block just ti get past me?” in my head im thinking, its because im a small woman that he knows he can get away with it. and then Levi finally realized the gravity of the situation and said “should I go talk to him?” but the man had already walked away at this point. I calmed down at that point thinking, yes im gonna let my tiny husband fight this massive douche bag. I apologized to david and we just continued on.

I never got a chance to meet levi’s eldest brother, wife and youngest kids until I visited Israel (different post!) but I did meet hilly, their oldest daughter when she visited nyc with Levis parents. she's sweet, a bit of a rebel, maybe even hotheaded and insecure like the way I was when I was a teen. I enjoyed spending time with her and gifted her a bunch of lipsticks/glosses and a mascara from Sephora when we all had to say goodbye. I think she felt comfortable that I was younger because she opened up to me about her boyfriend, and told me to keep it a secret. I knew she liked me too because once Levi and I finally got married, she told him that she knew we were going to get married as soon as she met me.

even though I had a lot of luxuries as a child, I never truly experienced unconditional love without trauma or negativity. others may have it worse, but I had what I had. I've dealt with it and come away from it as a better person thanks to Levi. I feel happy to call them my family now, and that they accept me without hesitation despite me being muslim, or much younger. I still feel shy to talk to them on the WhatsApp group chat but im working on it! 

[ashavant]

The American University System: Oppressing the non-elite.

So let me get this straight...in the 70's there was a community outcry to lower the amount of tax money that got put towards college tuition for future generations? American tax payers used to cover over 70% of college costs, allowing the young students straight out of highschool the ability to work a minimum wage summer job to literally pay their entire tuition. Those with part time jobs while in school were not very common. This allowed for an ability to succeed without the unnecessary baggage of financial stress and lack of sleep at 18 years old while taking 14+ credits, which for those of you who dont know is a true 40-60 hour work week alone. All of this hard work and achievement paved the way for these kids to enter adulthood as educated, debt free, and with the world at their fingertips. Not to mention, they had the incredible privilege of not having to become a self sufficient adult in the middle of the worst economic crisis since the depression...

Compare that romantic reality to our drastically different reality today. I will use my experiences as an example for this, while probably on the extreme spectrum of experiences, they are valid and carry merit nonetheless. I was always told as a child, "you have to go to college, its not an option" Yet, when i graduated highschool, my parents grew quiet. I grew up in a 5 person household in Orange County, CA (one of the most expensive places to live in the country) in a family who made roughly $40k a year, give or take (thats poverty folx). My step-father was an electrical contractor so income was often spuratic. Anyway, needless to say they had not one penny saved for my college tuition. My parents failed to put a single penny aside for anything regarding my well-being honestly. With no car, no money, no job, and no idea when or how I could recieve a college education, I was kicked out of my parents at 17 years old with nowhere to go. I couch surfed and was able to get a couple jobs, one at a crafts store and one at a sandwhich shop. After 2 long years of working my way out of homelessness, all I wanted was to start college! So, at age 19 I applied for financial aid. However, I was told because I was under 25 I needed my parents tax information. Well, my parents never filed on time and were incredible dodgy with communication. So, after months of going back and forth I ended up paying out of pocket for a full time coarse load at a community college. I was able to work my jobs and pay this, but with nothing left over for rent or food. I ended up getting kicked out of my place, had to apply for foodstamps, and had to start over from square one. Little did I know I would have to wait 5 years before I could finally give college another shot.

I had almost given up the idea of higher education. I was making good money in the food industry at this point and had a nice company car and a great home with an awesome roommate. But then, I met a boy. We traveled the country for three months with his bluegrass band and saw 32 states. Afterwards, we again found ourselves broke and homeless. We hunkered down, worked 80+ hour weeks, saved up, and moved to Portland Oregon, "where young people go to retire". Little did we know, retire would be the LAST thing we did when we got there. Cost of living was rising in Portland, but still nothing compared to Orange County, CA. We got good food jobs and nested for about a year. My boyfriend (we will call him N) got great grades in highschool and high test scores in his exit exams, so in 2014 he chose to get back into school as a Music Composition Major at age 26. His journey is a whole other terrible story. I wanted to return to school so badly, but knew I had to wait until I was old enough to not warrant my parents tax info. Finally, at age 24 I filed my FAFSA and went to a career counselor. I was directed in the career of Civil Engineering. Having no prior knowledge of this career or topic, I dove in blindly headfirst. I chose a community college due to the fact that I barely finished highschool and did not take ant exit exams. To my surprise, I did very well in my college settings. After one year I was able to transfer to a university! Me! I WAS GOING TO A UNIVERSITY! I could not believe it, and was soo excited. I had no clue how hard this would be, not the work, but just surviving through it. I should mention here that I have a mild dissability. I have endometriosis which is a chronic illness linked to hormones, ovarian cysts, and all that jazz which can result in disabling pain and in my case an emergency surgery from time to time. I also suffer from a mild form of PTSD. So, with those alone handling high stress loads can be very hard on my mental and physical well being.

Ok, so I was a 24 year old first generation college student (first person in my family to go to college) disabled lower class person wanting a higher education. Seems logical right? Well, once I got accepted to the university, I chose to change my major to Architecture, I had taken an intro class for general ed and fell inlove. My beginning of my first year was great! Lots of lectures and reading. Aside from my tuition multiplying literally 3x from my community college tuition which did not affect my financial aid disbursement, I was fairly stress free. Now keep in mind, my partner and I are both working 20-30 hour weeks to make ends meet while taking 12-14 credits. Its basically having 2 full time jobs. Anyway, the last term of my first year came around-my first studio class. I was so excited! Time to actually do architecture! I got the syllabus and was told was supplies were needed to be successful in the class. I was also told that doing all of the requirements for the assignment would result in a C grade, if any grade above that was desired extra work had to be put in. I thought, no biggie, bring it on. The next thing she said was, "absolutely no sleeping in the studio!" Thats when I had a feeling I was gonna be in trouble. After class I went to the art store got my supplies. I almost started crying as they read my total to me: "$682.80, please." And that was with my student discount and not including all of the future supplies I would need just for that term, which I will tell you now after all the drawings and models ended up being about $2,000. That is a whole lot. These studio classes also require many all-nighters just to have enough time to complete the assignments. Many times, due to having to work outside of school I could not complete my assignments or had to do them with less craft and care than I would like just to turn it in. This year, I recieved less in financial aid, my rent has gone up significantly, tuition went up, and there are new grade requirements: if you get anything less than a B-, youre immediately dropped from the school of Architecture. So, not completing assignments isnt an option anymore. This last term costed my much less money, but once I told my instructor I was out of money, his response was, "well, this is Architecture school." What the fuck am I supposed to do with that!? A roll of Velum (drafting design paper) costs $50-$70 pencils are $2 a piece, models cost like $100 each, the list of tools go on and on. I am already paying $10k a year for tuition, ensuring at the very least $70k of debt including my masters degree which you need to get your Architecture license. And at least $100k with the $500 a month I need to borrow a month for rent. I should not need to add thousands more of that for supplies my school should be providing. And this insane pressure of pulling all nighters to get done the amount of assignments it would take us to do in a whole week last term in 2 days!

The moral of this very long story is that college is not meant for those of us trying to climb the life ladder. Its meant for the already elite. Its meant for kids right out of highschool with parents who make enough money to pay their tuition, their rent, their whole lives! Meant for kids who travel to Europe for the summer instead of working 60 hours a week to make up for the money lost during school cuz you physically cannot work more than 25 hours. Its meant for kids who can call their mommies and complain about how mean their teacher is, not for those of us who cry every night about being afraid of ending up back on the streets in the snap of a finger. Its meant for kids who can work and think about school all day every day, not those of us preoccupied with being able to pay all of our bills and being able to afford food and health insurance.

HOWEVER, even if you are like me, worse, or better, YOU CAN DO IT! I have a damn 3.7 GPA. I may only get 3 hours of sleep a lot, cry almost weekly, probably have lost years of my life due to stress, and feel scared for my health, but shit IM FUCKING DOOOOIN IT! Even though our government, or school presidents, and pretty much everyone in power disagrees, you are so worth it and you are so capable of success no matter how much harder you have to work than everyone else. Because we have to work so much harder now, we will get to party that much harder when we make it. I WILL GRADUATE IN SPITE OF THE SYSTEM! I WILL SUCCEED IN SPITE OF THE SYSTEM! I WILL CHANGE THE FUCKING WORLD CUZ I AM A BADASS AND CAN DO ANYTHING YOU PRIVELEDGED FUCKS CAN DO, JUST BETTER!

[fooboo24]

me thoughts on the whole “six years later”

honestly idk. i just feel the need to clarify my feelings on the (possible) situation with b//ell/arke, b//ec/ho, and b//ra/ven.

rambling and speculation under the cut

first off, i am as big of ho for b/ell//arke as any out there, let this be known. do i think it has a large chance of happening in show? absolutely. beyond my own otp emotions hoping that it will, evidence and practicality suggest it will end up canon/endgame. it’s just a matter of when.

i do not ship b//e/cho. echo has treated bellamy awfully the majority of the time they have known each other, and bellamy actively distrusts her and probably holds some underlying hatred towards her for what she did to octavia. it’s not a great ship as it was left for now in show.

as for b//rav//en, i have no particularly emotion towards it. i think it could be cute, but considering how much of a diehard bellarke shipper i am, im not exactly singing praises to gods to make br/ave/n canon. however, they have the strongest basis for becoming canon after be/ll/ark/e, i find.

further elaboration, now with consideration to the timeskip and events of the season four finale.

clarke doesn’t know if bellamy is alive, though she knows there is a chance, no matter how small, that he has, and she clings to this. bellamy, on the other hand, believes that clarke is entirely dead, given what we know (i doubt he ever received any of clarke’s radio messages, because if he had, then he would have been on the ground as immediately as possible given resources and time passed). he does not have that same sliver of possibility like clarke does, and therefore probably spent a good deal time (potentially literal years) absolutely despaired over the situation and how he “failed” clarke. bellamy feels shit deep, too. he would likely -not- allow himself to get over it for a long time, beyond not being able to to begin with. so, bellamy spends a lot of time upset and grieving up in space, and in marches potential b/ech/o and br/ave/n.

my thoughts for be/cho involve it beginning as a “vent” for bellamy. he’s frustrated emotionally, both by clarke and his role and the difficulty of living in space, and physically, too, probs - he’s prob restless after spending so long running around like a gazelle in the forests on earth and now he’s trapped on the goddamn ark again, and it’s stifling. and honestly, the dude’s gonna be sexually frustrated, too, lbr. he’s gonna need an outlet, and i think echo could be that. i’m not gonna rule out echo here, she’s her own character, too - she has a great potential to become a “good guy” and redeem herself to bellamy and the others, and the audience, too. i don’t like her much right now, but i’m interested to see where her character might go, especially now that her actress is a series regular.

echo is in a somewhat similar situation to bellamy, though her distress is more pronounced in certain areas. she inevitably probably has ghosts floating about regarding people she “left” on the ground/never got a proper goodbye with, chiefly roan, i think, whom she didn’t really have time to sort out her feelings for (not necessarily romantic, i’m not implying that, but she obviously cared for roan, she was loyal to him both officially and probably personally). beyond this, she proves to be understandably frightened about going to space, looking quite terrified when in the shuttle and raven starts floating in zero g. having been born, raised, and lived on earth all her life, this situation is incredibly stressful, even more so given how long they will be up there is very uncertain, being anywhere from five years to much longer. like bellamy, she’ll have adjustment issues, but even worse than him given that earth and the freedom that came with it is all she’s ever known, and now she’s been confined indefinitely to this stuffy, foreign space station for an indefinite amount of time. for her, it is entirely strange. at least for the others (beyond emori), they are returning to a familiar place, even if it holds negative connotations for some more than others - overall, it was once “home” for bellamy, murphy, harper, and monty for all of their lives up until two (?) or so years ago (i’m assuming it’s been roughly two years since they were ejected to the ground). echo has no attachment or idea of this place. she’s anxious and terrified, things i cannot fault her for considering the situation.

so, here we are: bellamy and echo are both restless and frustrated. they don’t have the greatest relationship, but they’re going to have to learn to get along, in the very least, considering the need to cooperate for their situation and because it’s not going to help if things worsen. overall, the both need an outlet, because it’s equally as non-conducive if they are so worked up they can’t think or operate. so, the opportunity presents itself, given enough time has passed that respective tensions can no longer last and/or that they both have numbed enough to the point where it works out well enough, that they could become each other’s “vents”. i, personally, think this is one of the most viable way that b/ech/o could start. they live in close quarters, constantly interact to some degree, and at first, there’s a suitable enough emotional disconnect between them that it works out well. they’re both young and raring (lmao), and given that two out of the four girls on the station are taken, bellamy’s options are echo or raven (and we’re discussing b/ech/o right now, so raven’s irrevelant for now). emotionally, they may not have much going on, but physically, attraction could be there.

so, yeah, they start banging. why not, they’re both consenting adults - it’s not emotionally the best but it helps ease mounting stress and makes living up in the station a lot more bearable. so, personal assumptions here, say bellamy does his thing grieving over clarke/tiding himself over for two years and echo is off doing her thing, working out excessively to distract herself from thoughts of earth, but at some point it snaps and they’re both there, so they go for it. they fool around whenever they feel like it for a year or so, and it works out fine. i think echo would become more emotionally attached/dependent first, as she comes to improve her relationship with bellamy and begins to trust him more (and vice versa). in the past, she’s expressed the want for bellamy’s approval (think 4x01 - “think you’ll ever trust me again?” “i doubt it.” or something along the lines of that), and she has the most personal history with him, so she’s more willing to rely on him emotionally with all of her stuff going on. bellamy, i think, would still be a lot more detached and it would take more time to allow himself to open up, given he is still probably hung up on clarke (one doesn’t even have to interpret this romantically, but also just in a friendly/partner-sense - i consider it both, because bel/ar/ke is more than just the one or the other) and has other people he trusts more beyond echo, especially raven (and monty), that he can divulge personal issues to more easily and openly. they’ve all known each other longer/been through more/been positively involved for longer, it’s only natural. but it’s not impossible that he might allow some (not all) walls to fall down given enough time (and six years in more than enough for something - or even the beginnings of something - to form) and as he sees echo genuinely open up to him. so, he thinks clarke is dead, and there’s nothing he can do about that, nothing he can do to resolve his feelings for and about her ultimately, and though it was not born of ideal circumstances, he is now involved with another he might be able to legitimately move forward with. he may not move on completely, inevitably will think back to clarke sometimes and fall into a pit again for a bit or longer, may dwell on her memory, but he doesn’t have to stay miserable and cornered off forever. so, maybe, he begins to allow himself to carry on with echo, and things are kind of chill and calm and happy for a bit between them. depending on when and how things happen, by the time they go down to earth again, it’s not preposterous to consider that he and echo may have committed to a legit relationship, and that he’s not as tied down to how he felt about clarke, because she’s “gone”. i love be/l/larke to death, but i also want everybody to be content and happy, understand this, and though i love that Spicy Drama that comes with bellamy not being able to let clarke go entirely, i do think he would eventually attempt to settle himself and find happiness, if not by himself, then by the urging and intervention of the others.

how this plays out is still up in the air, as is all of this. is it inevitable he will be extremely shaken up by finding out clarke is a live and well, and she will most definitely likely take a forefront in all his emotions and actions, leading to echo being sidelined. echo herself will be dealing with the reality of returning to earth, but will also understandably be upset by being potentially ignored by bellamy, especially given if she has become more attached than he. as things settle, he will be faced with the need to choose between clarke and echo, even if it may be a struggle between all three forces in the end - out of my personal opinion (and being a be/lar/ke ho), i think how he feels about clarke will be too much to ignore and will easily overpower his relationship (i think “making up for lost time” will be a big thing with be/lla/rke in season five), or lack thereof, with echo, ultimately leading to the dissolution of b/ec/ho and the beginning of our endgame canon be/l/larke. i think it would be difficult for bellamy to justify staying with echo when clarke has suddenly been reinserted in his life, because no one will quite be on clarke’s level to him - not even raven, who is his next closest relationship. i do not think even six years, some double or three times longer than he has known clarke, would be enough to place someone else on the same pedestal clarke occupies in his heart. i’m not saying someone couldn’t work their way up to a similar position, i def think raven could, but the fact of the matter is that it will not be the same as clarke’s, or comparable just by so many factors. they are both important, but on different levels (i liken it to have two children - they both occupy places of their own in your heart, and to compare them is just not realistic or possible to oneself. they are both important, and just because one “came first” doesn’t diminish the “worth” of the second). clarke is bellamy’s partner in a lot of ways he would never relegate to another, though he may allow another to build themselves up to a similar state with and to him.

NOW, with most of my thoughts about b/ec/ho articulated (i think lmao), i’ll now go on about br/ave/n. first and foremost, bellamy’s next strongest relationship (outside of clarke, octavia, and kane - just people on the station) is with raven. they are good friends, have been for years, trust each other well, support each other, and work together easily and efficiently. they already have a strong relationship and friendship. honestly, i do not think that there is a romantic basis at “this” point in their relationship - i.e., where they are at this point on the station. back in season one, they slept together. raven was upset about finn putting her off and knowing about him and clarke, and bellamy did not have any particular affinity towards raven beyond an inclination to getting laid - if she wanted to have sex with him, that was fine for him, at the time. after this, the moment has never been extensively brought up and clearly both raven and bellamy are past it, having worse things to worry about and being mature enough to realize that it didn’t mean much more than a quick bang with no romantic connotations when neither were at particular peaks in their lives. beyond this, they have grown a solid friendship with ignorance to it.

so, switch to them on the station. once again, bellamy thinks clarke is dead, and so does raven, whom both were very close to. on the station, they are the ones who will feel clarke’s loss the hardest out of the seven of them on board. unlike with echo, bellamy will be much more immediate and open to expressing his feelings to raven because of the previously established closeness there, and likely vice versa. i do still believe that either way, bellamy will understandably take his sweet time grieving clarke regardless of whom he “goes” with or opens up to. raven, too. she will take her own separate time to process clarke’s “death”, but i think she’d be more open with bellamy first over it considering she is a fairly honest character. i feel as though she would talk to him first, because he’d be able to understand the best, and that after some time, he would be comfortable enough venting about clarke back. for sure, they will be the other’s best support system in all they do on the ark.

now, it’s possible that they might “start” the same way b/ech/o would, aka, sexually. it’d be a vent, but with an initial fondness there that would not exist, at first or at all, with bellamy and echo. again, they’re mature adults with a positive, solid basis for what could happen between them. they know how to appropriately separate their sexual relationship from their friendship, and, if they should want to, mix them. but a part of me thinks that their relationship would be much more gradual, as bellamy and raven both find emotional relief in each other by confessing and venting their frustrations in a way that would not force bellamy into a point of total emotional breakdown given a situation where he is unable to express himself in a healthy way like he could have with raven.

so, years go by, and the blow of the loss of clarke for both is softened by their mutual support of each other. their relationship only grows fonder and stronger, a healthy bond long since established. and one day, maybe, when they are alone and comfortable and genuinely happy with each other, a kiss happens. over a bit more time, it happens more, little changes and shifts that display their interest in each other. there’s nothing wrong with this, they’re extremely close, have been for years, and if any characters deserve thorough and total respect and happiness, it’s raven and bellamy (-especially- raven!!!!!). this is where i begin to wobble a bit in my thoughts regarding ships. in a situation like this or similarly, i could really genuinely get behind br/ave/n. it’d be hella cute and entirely warranted and healthy, a rare display on television, though my b/e//l/lark/e heart would scream woe at this revelation. i would not be totally upset if this happened, whereas i’d be more irritable about b/ech/o if done poorly.

so, bellamy and raven have thing going, they express their romantic interest in each other, and enter a real relationship. i think this would also be a relatively healing relationship for both - again, i still think clarke would be on bellamy’s mind, but maybe lesser so with a stronger, consistent relationship with raven going on at the forefront. they may go as far to fall in love with each other and actively express this fact to each other - the reality is, they may legitimately resolve to be together permanently and forever, regardless of everything else (you know, not at the time knowing about clarke about to come back into their lives lmao). problems arise a lot more severely when you factor in clarke again, though, in a way that they cannot with b/ech/o given a lack of history.

okay, so, both learn that clarke is alive and well, and they are excited about being with her again. i do not think that raven would have issues with bellamy being ecstatic to find and be with clarke - she knows they are close, as she is with clarke, and considering how perceptive she is, she is likely the character with the most insight into how bellamy and clarke truly, deeply felt about each other. she knew they cared, and with the romantic aspect considered here (this is a shippy post after all), she knew that bellamy may have potentially loved clarke, and vice versa. she knows that he may still, in a way, and even maybe again immediately with the whole sudden influx of emotions that would come with her being back in their lives. however, she also knows that bellamy loves her, too, and is committed to her, as she is him. she trusts him, and he trusst her - she knows he will not stray and trusts in clarke that she will not overstep her boundaries once clarifications have been made and asserted however way they might. it’s all understandable, there’s a lot going on, but they’re not children, and there is trust there for all.

but this is where things become a little messy, depending on how the situation plays out. possibly, neither bellamy nor clarke are able to separate their feelings from the other, and while this is expressed, i think they have more than enough maturity and respect for each other and raven to -not- act on them. they may insinuate or even outright admit after all that has gone on, for everyone’s sake, but i HIGHLY doubt they would go behind raven’s back, even at their most emotional, because raven simply does NOT deserve that, and if the writers did that, i’d be pissed, even being a fervid be/ll/ark/e shipper. raven deserves so much better, and i hope she will get it in spades. clarke and raven had already been in a similar situation with finn some eight years ago or so, and if my memory serves me correctly, clarke absolutely backed off from raven and finn once she learned what was going on and denied finn despite his repeated advances while he was still with raven. so, from this we know that clarke is unlikely to do anything behind backs, even given how much more strongly she feels for bellamy than she did finn. raven does not need to, once again, go through the paranoia and pain of a lover going behind her back to be with another, especially her closest female friend now at this.

they are all far past the drama of late-teens/early-young adulthood at this point, and are mature enough to not muddy relationships needlessly. bellamy is also not the type to carelessly pursue without appropriate consideration and tact examined situationally. more than this, i like to think that he legitimately loves both clarke and raven in this situation, and would not want to hurt either. he would have a monstrous decision to make, and either way, someone would be spurned, most of all raven should she be broken up with. given how well things are handled, i think if the situation is built up well enough, that it may be realistic for him to choose either one.

but at the same time, i do not think it’s much of an excessive stretch to think that in a sudden burst of emotion upon meeting again or having been together for a while afterwards, that bellamy and clarke may have a moment, one they may both regret and not. raven is not stupid, she would pick up on trying to keep it hidden/push away feelings easily, or bellamy and clarke might be straightforward about what happened in a way that places them all in the same situation as above - a choice needing to be made and someone inevitably coming out hurt in the end. even if all avenues were taken to avoid hurt or anything happening, i think raven may become understandably jealous or unsettled about bellamy and clarke’s closeness as they reacquainted and possibly became... quite friendly and involved.

OR! maybe bellamy would end it with both, wishing to prevent as much damage as possible, and try to take time to sort it all out alone for everyone’s sake. or maybe he won’t get with anyone, though i doubt it will be that easy, honestly. if he does get with raven, i want it done right. i want her respected, and if he ultimately chooses clarke, then i want it to be handled well and realistically in a way that isn’t unnecessarily cruel to her. if he chooses raven overall, then let him commit to her fully and utterly in the way they both deserve, in a way that allows him to get over clarke and clarke to get over him but still be best friends, and for raven to rest easy and be content and happy with him. if he gets with echo, let it be fleshed out well and carried out with some level of mutual respect and fondness between them, instead of simply being shoehorned jealousy drama fodder (same for raven!!!!!). and hey, if he gets with clarke overall, let it be well done! overall, above all, just let any of them be done WELL.

on a separate topic, and my final blabbing, the idea of bellamy having a kid with either raven or echo because “oh clarke ‘has’ a kid now with maddie”... i REALLY don’t like this for multiple reasons. first, it feels like it would be way too melodramatic and unrealistic in a lot of ways - their technical situation up in the station is precarious and difficult enough as it is, without adding a child into the mix - that’s without going into how that would drastically alter the unresolved personal issues of it all (i’ll not go into details about how these relationships would change with a potential child in the mix, because that’s a whole other can of worms that i’m not ready or currently willing to open, considering how seriously it would change the scheme of it all). up on the ark, there is very limited resources for just the seven of them, let alone a baby or two. and the issue of getting back to earth with additional passengers that young (or at all) just complicates it even further. ultimately, i think that, most of all, bellamy and raven would have more than enough sense to prevent a pregnancy and child, even if they get involved (there’s gotta be some condoms left on the ark somewhere... and even if not, raven or echo are more than smart enough to regulate themselves pretty sharply... all of them are, for they all [guys included] realize the severity of it all) - they’d probably be pretty vigilant about not wanting one with all the stress of everything going on around them, at least not on the ark. for harper and monty and emori and murphy, though, i can see maybe having a kid - most of all, emori and murphy. but i feel like it’d be a total accident and it’d be just the once, because they literally -cannot- afford to expend their resources excessively in a way that they would need to to accommodate a child. ultimately, while i COULD in theory understand a child happening, as it’s not entirely out of the scope of reality, i just don’t think it would happen and that it would be a cheap pull made by the writers to give bellamy one.

okay, that’s alllllllllllllll of my two cents on the situation, i think. this is -really- fuckin long (!!!!!!!!!!! over 4000 words!? ...this is also not proofread, lmao...), and i think i might have convinced myself into slightly shipping br/av//en... but either way, here it is. i doubt anyone has read this far, for there’s not really any reason to, but if you have, i commend you, i really do.

well, that’s it, i’m out. peace.

[manecandyland-blog]

TaeKai - A scientific Research paper

(this is literally the 20th time i’ve written this out my computer keeps crashing - also to any haters out there - this whole “science” thing started as a joke, but I feel now, presented with all the information, that writing this in the format originally posed does more justice to the situation than just dumping 20 youtube links on a post. Also after a while this becomes NO JAM for anyone who isn’t invested in Taekai as a friendship/couple so if you aint, don’t be about it)

My first note - I have been a Kpop fan since 2012, but only got back into the swing of things in 2016 - when i first got into Kpop, i was pretty much exclusively into YG groups, bar 2 (GG and F*x* (stars used in order to keep out of the tag b/c yesh). So my informed knowledge of this matter when I first posed a scientific inquiry was limited. However, thanks to the community, I have gained a lot of knowledge. However, I have also realised that this will very quickly become a topic which many will have issue with, so in order to protect my community, i’ll leave all my sources anonymous -if you want to tell everyone which reciepts you found, or would like to add to this knowledge inquest, please do so, and I encourage this greatly. However - please keep all contrinutions factual and neutral, and please also maintain scientific standard, by sourcing if the source is not apparent or common knowledge. We deal in truth here, this is not a shipping expedition, nor a fanfic-boosting activity. This is not for aesthetic or fangirl reasons - this is true inquiry. There are some sources i couldn’t find so sorry in advance if i couldn’t include yours.

So in order to present my findings accurately, I must get out of the way some potentially data-obfuscating information that could colour proceedings;

1. After much discussion with the Taekai and Kpop community at large, we have concluded that a large majority of the evidence in terms of physical closeness can be attributed to a culture of Skinship, and this culture being heightened within idol activities. The idol degree of kinship would/could not extend to closeness outside of idol activities, but the overarching culture of skinship would. Further to this point, it’s also evident that skinship shown by idols to one another is actually not as fully accepted as international fans tend to think it is, as I have been told that within the culture, there is a far more traditionalist mindset than foreigners assume. For the former point - this is not likely to affect any public evidence of closeness i’ve found before 2014-ish (this year is important), but is likely to colour any activities during and post-ace era, as they would now be publically *outed* as bros (wierd choice of words but know what i mean). For the latter, this should highlight, at least in regard to “candid” proofs, that the level of skinship presented may not be as “normal” as foreign fans are likely to believe. 2. A very diligent and long-term Kpop fan also notified me that it’s likely during and after the Ace era, that there was a move to “bro”-ify Taekai, whether genuine or in order to obfuscate rumours. Therefore, at this time, evidence is now coloured by a factor of how management/etc would like fans/others to see them, in regards to responding to any “misunderstandings”. However, after much discussion with my colleagues, it has become evident that even if this were a move to cover some form of truth (which is the point that i will argue in this paper), then this was a genius move, as any skinship would now fall under this banner, even if it was evidence of a relationship. This, however, makes analysis on our end very difficult.

I should also mention there are very few outcomes that could become of this study, and it’s likely to be a mixture, but none of them can be 100% proven, as, surprise! I’m neither Taemin, nor Kai, and I don’t know for sure.

-Either we find this is all an act and they aren’t friends (which would be our control outcome) -or we find they’re just super close friends -or they’re full on boyfriending it up

I’m trying to clear my mind of any bias before we start, but I have a good idea going in of where we’re gonna end up.

SO. Here we go.

The earliest receipt I have that’s reliable as a source, is from the 2013 MMA’s, where SHINee won the daesang. (Note: SHINee, Taemin’s group, won, and yet Kai, member of EXO, is the one crying)

I mean….i’ll let the footage speak for itself, but it is good to note that this was before any true push towards bro-ifying them as far as i’m aware, and they’re signature patting each other on the butt is also present here. In my scientific opinion, this can be construed two ways - Kai tends to cry, so he would cry on behalf of his *friend*, whereas Taemin tends not to cry, so easily fixed that one. With the utmost neutrality, this would be the mark of a very close friendship, where Kai is acknowledging the hard work his friend put in to doing well. The hug is pretty close by anyone’s standards, but this can still be attributed to a very close brotherly friendship. (The butt pats tho? I need to get used to that)

Early 2014 bought us this Gem - it’s interesting to know the story, but also more important to note when public perception of them was beginning to be written. (still, taemin’s being a little shit, calling him out and everything I love it);

This next reciept is interesting. It’s Ace era, and very specifically the pretty boy-ification. But here’s the sitch - around 1:04 Taemin’s looking pretty self-conscious, being that he’s pretty much shirtless, but check out 1:19;

Cheesy, yes, but don’t pay attention to what Kai’s saying, but what he’s doing - he feels very comfortable touching Taemin while he feels self-conscious, and is rather exposed. One could read any kind of conclusion from that but i’m just saying - that’s a very close bond y’got there.

And lets address the elephant in the room everyone - the W Korea Shoot. Now, we all know what ended up happening *cough cough*, but that aside - just take a look at these pictures;

This photoshoot was obviously heavily instructed, but those who know about photoshoots know you can’t really control the subjects and how the interact with each other. a lot of the other pictures felt sterile, the ones with the third member of the shoot *cough cough* feeling the most sterile - but the super charged, highly ~aesthetic ~ ones seem to always include taekai, and specifically taekai in some way interacting.

Now - get ready, here’s where shit gets freaky, scientifically speaking;

Taemin just keeps fiddling with Kai’s top, in the end leaving it more open than it was before…..bros? also, 1:42 - WHO. DOES. THIS. - he’s not even awkward, he’s not even sorry, he just teases the hell out of the EXO-L’s because he can. and who’s Bro lets them rub their chest and just smiles? Also peep the hand holding/stroking, i’ll get to that in a second. 

.....and finally……

it’s very important to note that these photos came out around the time the bro-ification started, but no-one just strolls down next to han river, embracing, being total bros, all alone. right? of course one could reason they’re just “very good friends” but this is where that argument breaks down - firstly Han river is a known romantic spot, and it’s pretty public, so the idea that they could roam anywhere else also comes into play. Also, there was no reason for them to be so close to each other - they had no idea the cameras were there. I’d also like to direct my peers to this;

Taemin stumbles over saying that they’re best friends, and immediately gets awkward when explaining their relationship. However, he seems a bit peeved that people think they may be in a relationship, quick to say he should be more careful even though everyone is ok with it, and almost tired at the radio host saying he’s “too pretty”. It’s a quip i think he’s heard one too many times, and him and kai walking alone really isn’t helping that perception of him, so his reaction here is more in reaction to the perception of his masculinity than maybe their perhaps being in a relationship. Taemin’s description of their skinship though, puts to rest any questions of subjectivity or obfuscation when it comes to cultural barriers - even though the radio host makes it clear their relationship may be closer than comfort culturally, taekai don’t see it as anything out of the ordinary. That’s again, not confirmation of a relationship, but more a righting of a perception of them he’s probably tired of trying to explain. He knows it’s out of the ordinary, but when he explains it, it seems we get an idea of how Taemin percieves their relationship, which is helpful from an objective standpoint.

there are other reciepts I’ve received, but have not been able to verify, and many other videos im sure, that state the same points, but i wasn’t able to include as tumblr won’t let me? i mean that sounds fake but ok tumblr whatever.

My conclusion is slightly different from the one i thought i’d make - there are four options that seem evident after discussion; 1. They are dating, they’ve done been dating, they will continue to date (this seems less likely, as 8 years of a relationship, through all of the ups and downs, seems a stretch); 2. They were friends, they began dating, they got caught, they bro-ified, and now they can touch each other to their hearts content because everyone thinks they’re idol bros; 3. They’re EXTREMELY CLOSE bros, and maybe kind of more, but it’s noncommittal maybe? Or just informal; 4. They’re just very affectionate bros.

Everything up until the hand holding had me thinking it was either 4 or 1. But then, they hold hands in public, but they try and hide it? and then they fix each other’s clothes when they assume they’re hidden from view? they take strolls late at night through romantic locations?

The kicker is when Taemin rubbed Kai’s chest - that’s him knowing we know he can do that, and we can’t, and you’d only think like that if you knew you could actually physically touch your *friend’s* bare chest (which he was super self-conscious of by the way) and not have him react adversly, which is an incredibly close relationship even for skinship. That’s literal skin-ship.

In my personal professional opinion, I think it’s option 3 - after much talk, research, collaboration and decision making with the community, it only makes sense - Option 3 covers that they feel OK touching each other, even in public, but maybe don’t have a full on relationship. This would also explain the final video, where Taemin explains why they’re so close physically. I think also it explains why they get a bit secretive about the hand holding - if there’s more there, it’s because they know that even though much of their skinship can be explained away by bromance, that maybe they’ve developed a special brand of closeness that looks a bit too out there for the average viewer.

In all honesty, we won’t know, but i’m not ruling out that they’re kind of boyfriends, in the menial sense. Objectively, form what they’ve told us and done, they essentially fulfilled the “partner” role in each others lives, basically spending all their free time together doing stuff they both have an interest in.

My conclusion: Definitely Bestbros™ with a side of *maybe we get it on sometimes*

I am open to any and all discussion below on this topic. Thanks to all involved.

[generouslyteenagealpaca-blog]

I can’t get car insurance because of where I live what can I do?

"I can't get car insurance because of where I live what can I do?

I am 17 (boy) and passed my test on 15.08.2013 and I cannot get a quote under 4000 because of where I live. Don't try saying its my age or the car I want (Mini One 1.6l) because they seriously don't change a lot. I've tried every car possible with a 1.4l and lower engine and the prices don't go below 4000. If I change the address to my friends house who lives like 2miles away the price goes down to 2700 and if I change the address to my Nans address who only lives 15minutes away it goes down to 1500. I am seriously thinking of putting my Nans address down for insurance because there is no other way I can see myself driving and I know it's insurance fraud but how else am i suppose to get f***ing insurance. Someone please help and don't just tell me stuff I already know.

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freecarinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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I just got my license back after my first DUI arrest over a year ago. I want to get a car but insurance would be around $5,000 a year for a car that only costs $1,500. Does anyone know what the laws are in CT about car insurance and if I need it to drive my own car. Does the car need to be insured to be on the road?""

A rough price of my insurance?

I was wondering how much will it cost for me to insure a 1.4-1.6L car.

Best insurance company for small startup security training agency and consulting firm?

Starting up in the DC, MD, VA area and looking for an affordable insurance company for a small business training agency. I eventually want to expand into security consulting, but for the time being, it'll be primarily security training. Policy in my area has to be minimum 600k of general liability. Any recommendations?""

I can't get car insurance because of where I live what can I do?

I am 17 (boy) and passed my test on 15.08.2013 and I cannot get a quote under 4000 because of where I live. Don't try saying its my age or the car I want (Mini One 1.6l) because they seriously don't change a lot. I've tried every car possible with a 1.4l and lower engine and the prices don't go below 4000. If I change the address to my friends house who lives like 2miles away the price goes down to 2700 and if I change the address to my Nans address who only lives 15minutes away it goes down to 1500. I am seriously thinking of putting my Nans address down for insurance because there is no other way I can see myself driving and I know it's insurance fraud but how else am i suppose to get f***ing insurance. Someone please help and don't just tell me stuff I already know.

""Looking for a cheap new car (2010-2013) with good fuel economy yet sporty and cheap to insure, any ideas?""

I'm a 19 year old male so insurance pretty much sucks. I'm looking for either a new or used car that is cheap both to buy and insure, but is also sporty and fun to drive, and good on gas. Anybody have any ideas?""

Does AAA offer short term car insurance?

I just got my license but will be moving down to San Diego in a week to start college. My parents don't want to start me on a long term insurance plan as I won't be using their cars much so it's a waste of money. I was wondering if there is a short term insurance plan that is cheaper as it would be very convenient to drive this week instead of taking busses.

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So how would you do this and about how much would it cost? People were saying that it costs millions and millions of dollars. But if it costs that much then how would anybody ever be able to start one? Is it a good idea to start an insurance company or do you think that it probably would not be a success? Also, what is the difference between an insurance comany and an agency. do make a lot of money if you start an insurance agency?""

For Farmer's do auto insurance rates increase with cost of repair for a claim?

For Farmer's do insurance rates increase with cost of repair for a claim? Or is it determined by number of incidents and points on your record?

Is four wheel drive worth it for where I live concerning insurance costs?

I want a jeep cherokee as a first car and I cant decide between 4x4 and 2x4. My friend told me that four wheel drive will increace the car insurance. I already thought insurance was expensive, does anyone have any idea how much more this will increase insurance on average. Should I even get a 4x4? I'll be getting the car off craigslist so its not the cost of the vehicle that concerns me its all about the insurance. I live in florida so its not like ill be going through snow or anything i just thought it would be handy if I ever wanted to go off roading once or twice.""

I have a question about auto insurance?????

The other day someone was giving me a ride. We stopped by a store and when i opened the door i scratched a ladies car. The lady was pretty mad and she took the license plate number and the name of the insurance. Today the guy that gave me a ride says that she called the his insurance and now i have to pay the cost of the damage. Is this guy pulling my leg or can this be true?

Car insurance prices?

Approximatley how much is car insurance on a small engine car (1.1) for a 26year old female I know it will depend on area and no claims and named drivers, mileage etc, but just looking for a rough figure as I haven't got a clue""

How much will my insurance be every month?

I am 19 years old. I live in Lufkin, Texas, USA. I make around $24,000 a year. I have good credit and I am about to purchase a 2005 Honda Civic Coupe, 2-Door. The dealership says I need to have full coverage insurance on my new car, about how much am I looking at each month?""

Is it possible to get affordable life insurance and dental insurance if i am not employed?

.........and if so, roughly how much money would this cost per month?""

Car accident and no insurance.?

My mom was involved in a car accident and she found out her insurance was cancelled earlier. It was her fault and the other driver is insured, but they took away her license. We know she has to pay out of pocket but is there a company that will pay the lump sum for her so she can pay the company little by little?""

Which insurance is better?

which insurance is better blue cross and blue shield or aflac, what is the difference between them""

How much would insurance cost on a 96 Chevrolet camaro?

Monthly? I spotted a camaro for the first time and it was completely gorgeous, I almost cried. it also runs good. The cost is pretty crazy for a camaro only 2,000. My mom said that I ...show more""

How much do you pay for your car insurance?

I'm just trying to pick a car insurance thats affordable. How much do you pay monthly? Also I'm 22, no driving tickets, my car is a 2005, Hyundai Accent. OR AT LEAST WHAT IS AN IDEAL PAYMENT MONTHLY FOR CAR INSURANCE?""

How much do you pay for:car insurance? Home insurance? Furnishing your first apartment?

How much do you pay for:car insurance? Home insurance? Furnishing your first apartment?

Can a Company charge more for insurance monthy for employees who work out of state?

This company who's headquarters is in California, is charging about 45 dollars a month for insurance, but if you work out of state, anywhere else, it is 105.00. This is the same position with the company despite the price difference. Is this employee fairness? Is this legal? Thanks!""

Do you have health insurance?

if so, How much is it per month? How old are you? what kind of deductable do you have? Feel free to answer also if you don't have insurance? also, do you support Obamacare?""

Car insurance. Diesel 1.6 or petrol 2.0?

Which would be cheaper to insure.

Is the nissan 240sx considered a sportscar when dealing with insurrance?

which would cost more for insurance, a 1997 nissan 240sx or a 2008 scion tc and is the 240sx considered a sports car?""

How much is a female teen's car insurance in Virginia?

I'm trying to get one for my daughter and I was wondering if anyone can give me any heads ups.

What IS affordable health care? How much does it cost?

All these questions are answered in insurance policies today, but with this bill, we are asked to support it without any of this information. How is that fair or just? Am I just to accept that the government will determine for me how much I am expected to pay and STILL support it?""

What is the cheapest Auto Insurance Company for male teens?

Insurance company's Screw teens so much, what are some of the cheaper company's? I have gotton quotes from $107 a month to $250 a month and everywhere in between for just state minimum liabilty""

Auto Insurance forcing me on parents car insurance?

I got my g2 but my parents auto insurance company is forcing me to pay insurance on my moms car even though I will never use it. This is in a city where insurance is really expensive and them doing this will cause financial hardship and I can barely pay it. Is there some law allowing them to do this?

How much is insurance in canada for a motorcycle?

how much is the average insurance rate in canada for sports motorcycles? ....per year or per month?

""Recently hit by another driver, got estimate for his insurance company. Not sure I should repair for that cost""

My car is a 1994 Lexus ES300 with 125,000+ miles on it. I would say it is in good or fair condition, the leather seats are cracking badly and it has a few scrathes, etc. I'm just wandering if it is in my best interest to repair this car or for it to be totaled out. The estimate for repairs in $3500.00, which could always go up once repairs start for unseen damage. I'm just not sure the car is worth repairing for that amount considering its condition. The damage is to the drivers side rear panel which is now rubbing something when I turn either way or go over any kind of bump in the road. The estimate does not consider repair for that since that could not be seen by looking at the vehicle. They are also saying the paint can't be matched perfectly because of the fading caused by sun and weather over the years. With everything considered my resale value is not good. I did want to sale this car at some point and get newer car.""

Would insurance be cheaper then normal for this car?

Would insurance be cheaper then normal for this car, its a 1993 ford mustang 4 cylinder auto, because its old and a auto 4 cylinder? Plan is to insure it with the auto four banger in it, then do an engine swap imported v6 turbo, with manual transmission, new drive shaft, differential, exhaust, etc.. what they don't know.. they don't know lol""

I can't get car insurance because of where I live what can I do?

I am 17 (boy) and passed my test on 15.08.2013 and I cannot get a quote under 4000 because of where I live. Don't try saying its my age or the car I want (Mini One 1.6l) because they seriously don't change a lot. I've tried every car possible with a 1.4l and lower engine and the prices don't go below 4000. If I change the address to my friends house who lives like 2miles away the price goes down to 2700 and if I change the address to my Nans address who only lives 15minutes away it goes down to 1500. I am seriously thinking of putting my Nans address down for insurance because there is no other way I can see myself driving and I know it's insurance fraud but how else am i suppose to get f***ing insurance. Someone please help and don't just tell me stuff I already know.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/2012-mustang-gt-vs-2009-bmw-335i-coupe-insurance-eric-lewis"

[mylovingbouquetearthquakewo-blog]

Father wants to add either wife or daughter on the car insurance policy? Who will be cheaper to add?

"Father wants to add either wife or daughter on the car insurance policy? Who will be cheaper to add?

Father wants to add a named driver to his insurance policy and wants to add the wife who is 48 years old whom holds a provisional licence. However, the daughter who is 17 (nearly 18) wants to be added as a named driver as she does quite a lot of practising in the car. From the situation would it be the same price for both? or would it be cheaper for the older women. Both have not passed test so wouldn't the insurance policy price be the same for both. I would like to know the difference? or whether it would be the same as both just hold provisional license?

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://howmuchisinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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How much would car insurance go up if...?

My family and I are just trying to get a ballpark idea of how much my sister's car insurance would go up if we made a claim on an accident she had. She was in a mall parking lot and pulled out to make a left turn. I think she didn't really see a car coming, but I also think the car was zipping around the lot at a too-fast speed. My sister got hit in her driver's door and needs a new door and the frame of the car needs pulled out. There are no witnesses to really show who's fault it is, and I think it's a little of both judging by how much damage there is on her car (the other driver had to be going fast). There is no damage on the other person's car. It costs about $1500 to get it fixed (just the bare minimum - a new door from a junkyard and fixing the frame, just to make it safe and sealed, there will still be some dents). We're debating on claiming it or not because there is a $500 deductible. She is 25 years old and hasn't had an accident before. How much do you think the insurance would go up and how long would it stay up? Would it be worth it to claim it or should she just pay cash for the damages? Thanks!""

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I have an older car it's a 89 Ford Crown Victoria and I do have 10 points with my current insurance company (Progressive).

How much does a sixteen year old in BC pay for car insurance?

The car is an 87 porsche 944. my grades are less than satisfactory. i am expecting high numbers. i make $9.50 an hour working ten hours a week. also, is it even possible for me to pay the insurance along with gas and income tax? (car takes approx. 20 mpg) i drive about 30 miles a week.""

How good is Delta Dental Insurance and is it worth it?

My mom is out of work and needs to have some dental work done. I was thinking to get her a Delta Dental Insurance in the hopes that it will help her. If you currently have this insurance or had it in the past, could you please tell me if it's worth it. Thanks.""

Is it okay to drive your parents car but dont have insurance yet but your parents gave permission to drive it?

Like if i was to be pulled over which I plan on not being because I drive very carefully but with cops now a days they will pull you over for no reason and just follow you and pull ...show more

How much should car insurance pay for breaking your back in accident?

boyfriend got ina car crash. he was in the back seast. driver didnt see stop sign and tboned anothe car. he has a fractured lombar 2 and wont be able to work for a while now... how much should the liability pay? they only want to pay about 3 thousand or so..

Motorcycle insurance?

Anyone have any idea on the cost on motorcylce insurance.. I'm 26 clean record..Thinking about getting a new yamaha cruiser 600-700cc

Does anyone know of an insurance company that would insure a car for a newbie?

Looking for cheap car insurance Does anyone know of an insurance company that would insure a car for a newbie? I am looking at buying a used car ASAP to get to work.

Irish Female Insurance?

I have a provisional Irish drivers licence and I will be driving a year 2000 Nissan micra 1.1 litre engine. I was just wondering about how much will my insurance cost?

What is the best insurance policy for my llc business?

What is the best insurance policy for my llc business?

How much does insurance cost for a 21 year old male?

I wanna get a car soon and i want a 2006 Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution and i was just wondering if anybody knows an estimate on how much insurance would be. I will be making payments on the car if that helps

What is the cheapest classic car insure for 17 year olds?

looking to insure my ford fiesta L 1981, but unsure on the best classic car insurer""

Health Insurance for kids?

I have health insurance through my employer, I have a baby due in July and I have looked into adding her as a dependent but it is way to costly. It jumps from 88.00 a month for Keystone Health Plan East to 400 a month if I add her. Can anyone recommend any health insurance companies that will just cover her by herself. Iam not interested in CHIP or Keystone Mercy or any other state facilitaited health insurance. Thanks for the help.""

Am I going to be late on my car insurance?

My car insurance is due tomorrow. I ended up setting up a payment for it online today but the payment won't transfer until the 22nd. Will this be considered late for my insurance ...show more

move over law NC; how many points on insurance?

over xmas break i was pulled over under the move over law . i had never heard of this law and was very shocked when i received a $250 ticket (plus court costs) for it. i slowed down but appearently this isnt good enough because there werent other cars around to stop me from getting over. my question is this: does anyone know how bad this is on insurance (the equavilent charge)? i dont have any points on my license so hoping it wont be too bad. that being said, should i just call the insurance and ask? would it be worth fighting the charge? any advice/knowledge would be greatly appreciated! thanks!!""

What insurance company will give me the cheapest full coverage policy on a sportbike?

I'm 23, I have one year of riding experience, and i have no traffic convictions. I'm looking to go no higher than a 600. I live in an apartment, and I will have a lojack installed. I can't seem to find a policy for less than 3,000 bucks a year.""

Camaro Insurance cost?

I know insurance is a hard to estimate on since there are so many things that determine the price but can anyone tell me about the insurance for a 2012 camaro would cost for me? or how much extra it would cost for my situation. I have a 1998 toyota 4 runner and I am a 19 year old female. No tickets or car wrecks ever. My dad is getting me a new car and I am trying to talk him into letting me get a camaro. About how much extra would it cost yearly to go from an SUV to a sports car like a camaro?

Car insurance canceled my policy?

hi, my car insurance cancelled my policy one month before its due for renewal and half way threw a claim (car was stolen). they voided the policy from the date i took the insurance out 11 months ago, the reason they gave is that i am not the registered keeper and i didn't disclose this to them but i am the registered keeper because the name on the policy does not match the log book, this is a mistake i faild to notice. the mistake is on the log book my middle (second) name is in place of my surname so i sent them prove of my full name but they still cancelled my policy. is there anything i can do? i will be grateful for any advice. thanks.""

Know any good insurance companies that will insure a home under renovation that we're living in?

We bought a foreclosure that needs a fair amount of work. We made it habitable and then moved in so we can work on one room at a time. What insurance company would be able to insure this home without raking us over the coals, even though the home may not be considered complete ?""

Father wants to add either wife or daughter on the car insurance policy? Who will be cheaper to add?

Father wants to add a named driver to his insurance policy and wants to add the wife who is 48 years old whom holds a provisional licence. However, the daughter who is 17 (nearly 18) wants to be added as a named driver as she does quite a lot of practising in the car. From the situation would it be the same price for both? or would it be cheaper for the older women. Both have not passed test so wouldn't the insurance policy price be the same for both. I would like to know the difference? or whether it would be the same as both just hold provisional license?

What is Title insurance?

What is it for? any advantages? how will it benefit me?

Does anybody know where i can get cheap car insurance?

Hi, I'm 20 and i am looking to buy a small car so i can commute to work. However, the insurance on it is sky high. I have tried all sorts of different makes of cars to see if the insurance is cheaper but it doesn't really make much difference, i am looking at Puntos, Yaris's (small cars like that). I have had my licence for 3 months so obviously it is going to be slightly expensive. I have been on all of the price comparison websites and the cheapest i have got it so far is 308 A MONTH! Apparently my postcode is notorious for sky high insurance but that's just ridiculous. Does anybody know of any insurers i can try which could be cheaper? Thanks""

Scion tC...how much woul i pay monthly with car & insurance?

Im 19, been driving for two years, no accidents, no tickets or anything like that. I juss ont know how muc it woud be monthly. if anyone knows please.""

17 cheap car insurance??

i live in the u.k im searching for car insurance for when i get my car does anyone no any car insurance companys that do cheap car insurance for my age or comparing sites. iv already tried compare the market and confussed.com links would be amazing thanks guys X

""Could $5,000 provide healthcare for a family?""

If this credit becomes reality, doesn't it seem logical that a major healthcare provider would put together an affordable health insurance package for the credit amount and market the ...show more""

What's an average car insurance for a 16 year old. ?

I'm going to be a 16 year old. I'm a male and I live in maryland if that helps I have no clue about car insurance so any and all info would help! Please and thanks! (:

""Second speeding ticket in California, first one was more than 18 months ago?

I got my first speeding ticket about 2 years (24 months) ago. I paid the fine but didn't go to traffic school. I got my second one a few weeks ago. Will it add a point to my ...show more

""I'm under 25 and paying $50 dollars for car insurance, for a parked car.?

Am I paying too much in coloado? Should I try to find cheaper insurance?

Do any states not require car insurance by law?

Looking for a state that does not require me to have car insurance.

Where can you get insurance for a 16 year old travelling alone?

Hi, a group of my friends and I, five of us, are travelling to Germany and are looking for a place that would insure us, we are all 16 years old. Thanks :)""

Can I insure a car that is registered and has license plates from arizona?

I live in California and am about to buy a car that has its license plates from arizona and is registered there as well. Would i Be able to insure it? And if not what would the process to get it good over here? Just so you know, Its a 1995 Nissan Altima, and is going for $1500.""

Where to have my car insurance?

My insurance is up for renewal soon and I have a little dilemma. 4 days a week I work away from home living with realatives close to my job and the other 3 days I am at home. not the best situation but as I can't take my kids out of school I have to go where the work is. Now If I insure my car at my realtives address it is 200 cheaper then at my family home but can I legally insure my car away from the family home.

How can i find the lowest car insurance rate for my car?

How can i find the lowest car rate for my car All the insurance companies advertise they have the lowest

""If you need health insurace, are you going to be able to afford Affordable Care?""

I had high hopes for the Affordable Care Act (nicknamed Obamacare). it was supposed to give all Americans access to healthcare and be affordable enough so we could all still eat and have a roof over our heads. Premium prices depend on where you live, and I live in one of the higher-priced areas, but OMG! Their premiums are more expensive than I've ever seen, and then you have to pay a chunk to see the doctor or get a prescription or go to the hospital... I don't see any savings or advantages anywhere. So what about you, if you aren't covered by health insurance and were hoping to get it under the Affordable Care Act? Can you afford it?Will you be able to actually afford to go to the doctor after paying the premiums?""

Pre-Existing Conditions health insurance...?

I've had epilepsy since I was 5 years old, I'm now 24. I came across a comment on a website a few minutes ago about there being some kind of federal law where it's ILLEGAL to deny someone coverage because they may be in poor health, overweight, etc... aka having a pre-existing condition . If this is true about there being a law AGAINST it, why are SO MANY health insurance companies allowed to deny people w/ pre-existing conditions right off the bat? There are THOUSAND upon thousands, if not MILLIONS, of people in the U.S that have some kind of pre-existing condition, whether minor or major. So wouldn't that mean that there are THOUSANDS of insurance companies that are running their business illegally & breaking the law? I mean, breaking a state law is one thing, but a FEDERAL law is a pretty big deal!! Washington makes such a big deal about how so many people in our country don't have health insurance & they say it's because people can't afford it . But I think the REAL reason is that because MOST of those people have a pre-existing condition & they're getting thrown to the curb because of it... Comments on this???""

Insurance on a 2005 ford focus?

What would the average insurance for progressive be on a auto 2005 red focus with 70k miles. For a 17 year old and a 45 year old. Can I legally put my car in my parents name to lower insurance cost?

""I'm looking for an honest, good life insurance company. Anyone with experiences on this?""

Single mother with mortgage, a older teen and young adult, good health so far? I am looking to cover anything that would have to be paid in the event of my death.""

How much for car insurance for a 2002 nissan xterra?

I'm thinking of purchasing a used 2002 nissan xterra and would like to get some feedback regarding the insurance rates for this car.

Why does the engine size of a car make so much difference in car insurance quotes?

How is it that cars with bigger engines are much more expensive to insure? Surely a 1.0 litre car and a 2.5 V6 car both travelling at 70MPH for example will cause the same amount of damage (albeit the car that weighs more may have more momentum). I can't seem to work out the other side of this arguement. Is there anyone who could explain the difference please? Thank You! 10 points for best answer.

""Pregnant, unemployed and I need insurance?""

I'm 24, recently terminated from BOA due to a matter with an incorrect procedure. Meanwhile, I'm pregnant with my second child and unemployed. My husband is doing great for our family (we are a small single family living by ourselves). He's working and paying all the bills and then some. Where can I find some much needed health insurance for myself? Please advise. Thanks and God bless.. (I'm 24, african-american, non-smoker, not diabetic, don't have any std or sexual disease, and I'm healthy thus far. Please help) Located in Atlanta Georgia, USA""

Auto insurance low monthly payments?

I am having a very difficult time getting auto insurance i can afford . am on disability, and cannot afford the outlandish prices these days. Does anyone know where i can buy cheaper auto insurance? where can i find it? the lowest i could find was $143,53 down and and $140.09 a month. Does anyone have websites i can surf? Is there any with no money down and only monthly payments? is there anyone who has had the same problem as I? can anyone help me please?""

How much would it cost to insure a cheap motorcycle for a teen?

I found a good bike for two thousand dollars it's nothing fancy but it's enough to get around so I was wondering how much would it cost to insure a bike like this. I have very good grades my parents have a good driving record so I think that will help

I need health insurance for my baby... please help.?

Sadly we missed the open enrollment date at my husbands job to add our infant son. He could have been added up to 30 days after he was born and we missed the date. We filed an appeal and they denied us. So now I have a 3 month old who has no insurance and cannot see a doctor for his shots or if he gets sick. We make too much money for like medical or healthy families but not enough to afford expensive private insurance for him. ANy advice would be greatly appreciated!!! Thank you

Ontario motorcycle insurance help?

im a 17 year old male wanting to get my m1 and buy a 1985 yamaha virago, and i really don't know where i can insure it for cheap because of the year most insurance places in ontario wont insure it, id have the Absolute bare minimum so it would be cheapest. please help""

Is my car insurance still valid?

My partner has been banned from driving, he is the first named driver on my car insurance and I am the second driver. Am I still insured to drive my car?""

Father wants to add either wife or daughter on the car insurance policy? Who will be cheaper to add?

Father wants to add a named driver to his insurance policy and wants to add the wife who is 48 years old whom holds a provisional licence. However, the daughter who is 17 (nearly 18) wants to be added as a named driver as she does quite a lot of practising in the car. From the situation would it be the same price for both? or would it be cheaper for the older women. Both have not passed test so wouldn't the insurance policy price be the same for both. I would like to know the difference? or whether it would be the same as both just hold provisional license?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/where-can-i-find-comparative-insurance-quotes-comercial-luther-clark"