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#maybe it was more of a love triangle thing and the other guy was trying to sabotage me?
pidgefudge · 3 days
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SO. i have listened to @gooboogy 's wonderful green album. and i wrote down my thoughts on each song. and now i am putting them here!!
"thoughts" being actually somewhat coherent comments that devolve into What Would This Be In A Video Game because this is me we're working with after all
and you reading this. yes you. go listen to it
verdant: oooough blorpy,,,, very cool i like. good beat it's quite foot tappable. also the name itself might be a new vocal stim. verdant. vvvverrrrrdant.
halls: much noises!! the instrumence in this scratch my brain in a good way. feels a bit like im 7 years old watchinf my brother play 2d mario stages and reimagining the music
agua: oooohh arpeggio action and a SICK beat. once again the Noises are lovely. big fan of all 3 so far but this one in particular methinks. however i have many more songs to go (!!)
doot doot: very fun i also like this one a lot :3 and coming to you from my one-track autistic mind: this album would be a fantastic game soundtrack
side note i know im writing less for some of these but thats bc im experiencing them in shapes and colors more than expressable words. trust me they're stirring the brain stew
going for a walk: i know the title is about a walk but im envisioning this as the soundtrack to a sort of road trip montage animation thing. specifically my road trip with family from san francisco to la. oh yes this ending is us finally getting to the hotel and me flopping onto the bed
forward: im liking the melody here a lot <33 this album is making me want to boot up lmms again and try my hand at original music,,, ive only ever attempted remixes (i tried to do aquarium park from sonic colors a few years ago and gave up but now i kinda wanna go back to it,,, i wonder if i was cooking) ok yes back to the actual song whoops this one is soo cool one of my faves so far
snag: i like these opening chords!! i dont know what you actually call them but the like. buildup parts?? you know?? those bits??? big fan OOH and a uh. build down (lol) bit too! also liking the sparkly chimey instrumence
blazen: OHHH YESSS this would be the theme for my favorite antagonist in the hypothetical game that i am apparently going to be referencing multiple times (dimentio and mr L came to mind immediately) absolutely jamming
beep boop: fuck yeah man it sure does OH SPOOKY NOTES OH OH COOL BEAT ASWELL i am in for a fun time this is. also the theme of my favorite antagonist. but the battle theme i think. oh hell yeah the orchestra hits. yes yes definitely battle theme. sorry for putting all these in a vgm context shfjdkfkssghf i just listen to a lot of it so thats how my brain parses instrumentals
hunt: strimgs :3 wohhh this is so cool. buzzy in a good way. golden brown triangles and other spiky shapes. that's kinda meaningless to anyone but me but. oh nice more Noises always love the Noises
overwhelm: theme for when i have a project due the next day and am swamped with other homework shdjdksfjdh
VERDANT!: once more with gusto!! loving the faster tempo. constellationy crystally instrument is particularly pleasing. oooughh so gooddddd
creepin': spacey!! im watching a crew set out in their little shuttle, oblivious to the horrors awaiting them on their station
envy: this is a boss fight that's emotionally heavy for the protagonists. perhaps fighting a former friend or mentor or team member
whomp whomp: quite a tricksy track!! some sort of haunted place,,,, maybe the place where the previous battle takes place. maybe it's actually a ghost (especially if the protagonist had some role in their death and feels crushing guilt) (bonus points if the ghost openly expresses resentment for the protag)
gromulous: the word ever. final boss' lair for sureee. yeah this song sure is gromulous. idk how else to describe it you hit the nail on the head
largemouth: oooh a bit silly but also cool guy. im thinking some sort of underground secret society/lab thing they have to infiltrate that's hiding a Sinister Secret (the big plot twist of the game) doesn't even have to physically be underground it could be a moon base situation. maybe i should just make this whole thing into a scifi space rpg
a way out: i can see this as the final boss music and as you get further in the fight it ramps up. i know i already assigned songs to the main antagonist but shhhhh. (or i can always pull a super paper mario in terms of antagonists)
under over: oh!! i love this one!! hometown theme. chill and familiar but still upbeat rather than sleepy. and it has a very strong nostalgia factor,,,,, in love with this song it might be my favorite. but there are still 3 more so!
float: this beginning is very cool im loving the vibe. dire dire docks but make it just after sunset and watch the ocean come alive with bioluminescent lights and fish raves. i guess it isnt a space game anymore. or maybe dream sequence beach episode?? WOAHHH OCEAN MAGICANT i might be cooking with this one Hold On. yesyesyes ok some sort of trip/dream where theyre shrunk down marinauts (whatever ocean prefix) as opposed to astronauts and exploring a cool coral reef/ocean floor area and talking to the sea life and woahhhhhh this would look gorgeous in pixel art. tbh this one could be in its own game considering how vivid the imagery is
outside: post-final-boss world returning to normal/person being rescued or uncorrupted/whatever magical thing happening. very fond of the bird chirps too <33 OH MUSIC BOX SOUNDS i also adore this one. i think the ending of this game is kinda bittersweet. we saved the world/person/whatever but At A Cost. this is sooooo pretty. would also transition well into credits
Green: and roll credits!! this would be the kind of credits theme i sway in my seat and contemplate the game to. the entire album is fantastic and these last few especially have been so lovely
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sudoscience · 1 year
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I woke up from a dream just now that I had gone to see a movie with two guys I'd met on the bus, and as they were leaving the theater, I realized I never got their numbers. So, I'm waking up and thinking, "If I hurry, I can still catch them in the lobby. Wait, no. That was a dream. Well, maybe I'll meet up with them later? No. They don't exist at all."
Anyway, it's funny what details your mind fills in and what it leaves out. Neither of those guys have a name, but I know I met them on the 801 bus going north from downtown. Except, I have a car. How did I get downtown? Also, I'm pretty sure the movie we saw was Spider-Man, but I can't tell you anything else about it. Was it live action or animated? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ But I remember someone in the audience mentioned Aunt May. And also there was a time skip in between when I met them and when we went to the movie. Like, I think one or both of them came over to my house, but then one of them had to leave because he had to... go sing at a party?
Anyway, I don't usually remember my dreams at all, so that one stood out.
#dreams#getting cockblocked by the nature of reality now smh#weird dream. definitely one of those ones where the more you think about it the less it makes sense#i met them on the bus? i don't take the bus#and it was two of them. were they already a couple? was i just third wheeling and completely oblivious?#or was it a love triangle sort of deal? i kinda remember liking one of the guys more than the other#but at the same time i'm like. cool! i'm going to be part of a throuple#but maybe there was a reason they were trying to leave me behind#oh and my shoes were off for some reason. and they were untied.#but 1) i am NOT the kinda guy who takes his shoes off in the theater (gross) and 2) i usually wear boots that don't have laces#maybe it was more of a love triangle thing and the other guy was trying to sabotage me?#of course the other weird thing is that i generally don't give two shits about dating#yet here i am spending 30 minutes telling y'all about this dream in which i fail to get someone's number#also had another dream about building a detached mother in law suite at my friend's dad's house?#maybe guest house would be a better term#but that one wasn't as interesting. it wasn't like actually building anything. it was more just planning it out#how are we going to wire it up to electricity? is it going to have running water? what about a kitchenette?#what are we going to use for the walls? we probably need a permit from the city for this don't we?#and because i don't know the answer to most of these questions irl i also don't know them in my dreams#except for the permit one. i'm pretty sure we'd definitely need a permit#anyway. i'm going to hit post now because i need to get ready for work
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golden-cherry · 1 year
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deal - cl16 (2/?)
Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Reader
Series Summary: Your whole life has gone to shit. Your boyfriend broke up with you, you just lost your job and the Monegasque, who suddenly stands in your doorway, claims that it’s his apartment.
Chapter Summary: The first breakfast together is a good idea to get to know each other better. And to make the first arrangements. And to cheer each other up.
Warnings: google translated French, mention of "nice guys"
Word Count: 3.4k
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A/N: part two my loves! please tell me if you liked it!
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Back when you went to school, you always woke up to the cooing of the pigeons that lived in the tree outside your childhood bedroom. They announced the new day, which was filled with learning, friends and fun. True, the time of your graduation had been incredibly exhausting, but in all the summers that followed, you woke up in the morning to the same sound and nostalgia felt like an old friend.
But now it's mid December. There are no birds outside whose chirping might wake you in the morning. And yet you've been lying awake in your bed for an hour.
All night you've been thinking. Charles apparently didn't try to break into the bedroom to kill you. You haven't heard any strange noises all night. But deep sleep was still out of the question with a complete stranger sleeping on the couch one room over. He did seem nice last night - after you had talked things out halfway - but the "nice guys" are also the worst in the end. 
After all, you had to experience that firsthand. 
Hands clasped behind your head, you stare at the white ceiling of your room. Your cell phone is lying next to your pillow. Some time ago, you lost it somewhere in your bedspread, and when you had to shake it out, the phone flew into the nearest wall. Since then it has its permanent place near your head.
A quick glance at it tells you that Charles will theoretically be asleep for just under two more hours - if you can believe him. Normally, you'd be getting ready for work right now and eating breakfast. Maybe you'd fry up some fried eggs or make some yogurt with berries. And then you'd go to work in peace.
Frustrated, you put your forearms over your face.
Right after you woke up, you googled for new job openings, but except for a new dog-sitter job posting, there doesn't seem to be anything new. Nothing at all. If the job were advertised with a reasonable salary that would allow you to continue financing your life in Monaco, you'd think twice about applying.
Finding a job that suits you, is fun, and pays a good salary is incredibly difficult. Almost impossible. When you were younger, you once saw a picture of a triangle on the internet. One corner said "friends," the second said "good grades," and the third said "sleep." The caption read "You can only choose two." That's exactly how job hunting feels.
You wouldn't tell Charles about it. Your unemployment, like his affairs, is private. If he asks, you'll simply say you're off because the company requires its employees to take vacation days in December. Doesn't sound convincing, but at least it doesn't completely suck.
Oh God, hopefully he won't ask.
As your stomach speaks up with an almost embarrassingly loud bubbling sound, you can no longer suppress your hunger. You slip out of bed and change from your sleep outfit - a big shirt and comfy sports shorts - into a pair of jeans and a comfy sweater before quietly turning the key in the door lock.
The rest of the apartment is silent. You sneak into the bathroom on your socks to brush your teeth and quickly comb your hair. As you slip on your shoes at the front door, you glance toward the couch to make sure you weren't dreaming last night.
The fact that a stranger is suddenly standing in your apartment, claiming that it is his apartment, sounds very far-fetched. And that he then spontaneously starts cooking sounds even more implausible. 
But you didn't imagine it. Charles is lying with his back turned to you between the pillows, the blanket tangled between his legs. He seems to be sound asleep, because when you open the apartment door, he doesn't move a bit. 
After taking a good look at the dog-sitting job this morning - two cute dachshunds, Hubert and Guenther - you had drawn up a chart of the things your new roommate and you would need to discuss.
Cleaning the apartment, for example. Since you'd still be staying in the bedroom, you'd obviously keep the room clean. Maybe you could also clear out a drawer in the dresser for Charles to put some of his things in, so he doesn't have to live out of a suitcase. But it's definitely too early for that. After all, you've only known each other since yesterday.
Although the morning has just begun, the sun is shining pleasantly warm as you walk to the nearest bakery. Having breakfast together definitely can't hurt if you plan to get to know each other better so that your shared apartment can function well. As long as Charles doesn't kill you and gets a little involved as far as organization goes, you'll be fine. Last night he already said that there are some things that need to be discussed today. And as long as the organization and in the end also the execution is not only dependent on you, the ship will probably not sink. 
Marie, the incredibly nice saleswoman who gives you a small, free piece of cake every Saturday, bags you two pain au chocolat and two croissants before you pay and she wishes you a nice day. While you don't know what Charles likes to eat for breakfast - if he eats breakfast at all - you're certainly not barking up the wrong tree with the pastries. Besides, breakfast isn't just about getting to know each other better and getting some structure, but you'd also like to apologize. For being willing to hit him over the head with the newspaper.
You quietly enter the apartment, only to find that Charles is already awake despite the time - 8:13 a.m. He's sitting on the couch with his elbows on his knees, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as you close the door behind you. His brown hair is sticking up from his head, and he wearily runs a hand through his strands before looking at you.
"Bonjour." His voice seems to have dropped an octave since last night, and it's rougher than yesterday, too, which is probably due to waking up. His gaze moves from your face to the bags in your hand. "Petit déjeuner?" Breakfast. You nod. "Pour nous deux?" For both of us? Again, you nod. Charles closes his eyes briefly before rising from the couch. "Give me a moment. Be right back."
While he's in the bathroom, you put two plates on the dining room table and add everything that could be used for a good breakfast. You quickly rinse the dishes Charles put in the sink yesterday and put them away. 
When your new roommate rejoins you, he looks more awake. He sits down across from you at the table and reaches for a bag. As he grabs a croissant, he looks briefly surprised, but you're too distracted by the pillow print on his cheek to notice. 
"How did you sleep?" he asks as you take a bite of your pain au chocolat. 
You swallow. What are you supposed to answer him? That you slept fitfully all night, afraid he might be a murderer after all? Would be a great topic of conversation to start the day. 
"I don't know," you answer neutrally. Charles tilts his head. "I mean, it was kind of weird knowing that someone completely foreign was sleeping just one room over."
"I'll bet." His smile is faint, but genuine. Little dimples bore into his cheeks. "Maybe we should make sure we're not particularly strangers to each other then. After all, we'll be living here together for quite some time. And I'd hate to be responsible for you not getting a decent night's sleep."
"It's okay," you answer him. "I haven't slept properly in ages."
"I'm always told that a good night's sleep is important. That's why mine is sacred to me." He rubs his free hand over the dark stubble on his chin. "Besides, it's not healthy not to sleep soundly. From that point of view, it's worth a try to me. And I'd hate to be responsible for your poor sleep. 
Most of all, you'd like to tell him that while his presence unsettled you last night, he's not the reason you can't rest, or sleep through the night. That he's not responsible for you falling asleep late and waking up early. But you don't. Because it's none of his business.
"While we're on the subject -" you put your pain au chocolat on the plate in front of you, "why are you up already? Did I wake you up? I swear I was trying to be really quiet, but -"
"I got a call," he says curtly. "Until you were standing in the doorway, I didn't even know you were gone. So, everything's cool." The smile is gone from his face. Apparently, his caller is just as popular as the one you pushed away last night. Or maybe he's just tired.
Since it's none of your business, you try to distract him. "So, Charles. How about it? What else is in you besides being able to cook? What do I need to know about you?"
Charles Marc Hervé Perceval Leclerc turned twenty-five in October, born and raised in Monaco. He has two brothers, one of whom is older than him and the other younger. He speaks English, French and Italian and does a lot of sports. He likes to eat pasta, but his nutritionist - who the heck has a nutritionist? Someone who can afford to have a second home in Monaco, of course - always advises him against it. 
He also travels a lot for work reasons. On his cell phone he has a lot of photos that he has taken in different countries and to be honest, you are already a little envious. Except for your home country and Monaco, you've never been anywhere else. What would you give to be able to travel so much? A dream that will probably remain denied to you, if your bank balance is to be trusted.
Some of the photos, he confesses, were taken by Joris - your Joris. You knew Joris was also a photographer by trade, and judging from the pictures, he's incredibly good at what he does. Apparently, the two of them travel together more often. Either the two are best friends or Joris is Charles' personal photographer. Or both. 
He won't tell you exactly what the Monegasque does for a living, though. "Something with cars," is his answer, and since you have relatively little idea about it, it's quite enough for you. He tells you a lot about himself, and you secretly hope that the information he gets from you will be enough for him, and that he will please not ask about your job.
But there you are mistaken.
"So what do you do for a living?"
The pastries are eaten so you crumple up the bags and throw them in the trash can. You stand up, and as you turn your back on Charles, your face contorts briefly. "I'm a photographer."
You hear Charles rise from his chair as well, stacking the plates. You barely noticeably flinch as he suddenly stands next to you. "And who do you work for?" He places the plates in the empty sink, grabs the sponge and detergent, and begins washing the dishes.
"For a small magazine, nothing wild," you reply curtly, drying the clean plate Charles holds out to you with his foam soaked fingers. It clanks as you put it in the cupboard with the others. 
"For that one?" He points with a nod to the magazine lying on the small coffee table. Of course, it's the one you threatened him with yesterday. A wide grin spreads across his face as you roll your eyes. 
"Sorry," you apologize, but are secretly glad for the opportunity to change the subject. "What would you do if someone strange suddenly showed up at your apartment?"
"I'd probably threaten to call the police." You don't know how that's possible, but his grin gets even wider and his dimples even deeper.
You have to grin. "Ah, so we're joking about that now? That I was standing there all scared, armed only with a magazine?"
Charles' gaze is amused, but gentle. The green in his eyes sparkles as he looks at you. "Just wrapped in a towel, not to mention. But I'm sure you would have kicked my ass."
Charles stows his bedding in the hall closet while you wipe down the table to clean up the last remnants of your first breakfast together. After fluffing the couch cushions, he sits down and pulls his laptop from his backpack. Stretching out his legs, he gestures for you to join him. 
"So," he begins as you sit down at the other end of the couch. You pull your knees to your chest as he waits for you to get comfortable. There are only a few inches between your feet. "I couldn't sleep last night, so I've been thinking about all the things that come up when you have a roommate." He looks up from his laptop for a moment. "Well, actually, I was just Googling."
You're pleasantly surprised that he actually thought about it. And apparently, not just a bit. He's even created an Excel spreadsheet, with weekly plans, tasks, and a financial overview, as far as grocery shopping goes. He included every little detail in his lists. 
Very dedicated, the young man in front of you. 
"We're summarizing." Charles stretches out his arms and folds his hands behind his head. You've spent an hour talking everything out, going over several possibilities, and finally you've come to a common denominator.
"Since you live in the bedroom, it's also your job to keep the room clean." That was the easiest point. "And that's why it's up to me to clean the living room. The bathroom gets cleaned weekly, on a rotating basis. Since you just cleaned it recently, it's my turn next week."
You come to an agreement that you will buy groceries from the money in the joint household fund - a small cookie jar where you actually stored sewing supplies - and he will cook instead. Since you're more of a frozen pizza kind of person and his nutritionist sends him a weekly meal plan, Charles also wants to put more money into the household fund. The fact that you benefit from both the meal plan and his generosity doesn't seem to bother him.
"That settles the organizational stuff," he finishes, setting his laptop aside. "But we should establish other rules. For the interpersonal stuff."
You tilt your head and raise an eyebrow. "Interpersonal?"
"Yup." He stretches again, and his white shirt slides up a little so you can see a strip of skin from his belly. You quickly look away. "Communication and stuff. So if something's bothering you, please tell me." Charles crosses his arms in front of his chest, his shirt straining over his biceps. "I don't feel like having to ask five times to get you to finally come clean. My patience is definitely too thin for that."
Understandable. Your patience is not quite that thin, but when someone doesn't speak up and then acts passive-aggressively, that's a no-go for you, too. 
"Open communication. Got it." You cross your arms in front of your chest as well. "But then please give me a heads up if you're bringing someone home with you. I don't want to come home at some point and be left in just a towel again. And if you do bring girls, I'll stay the night somewhere else." With his looks, you wouldn't be surprised if he didn't have at least five women wrapped around his little finger. Maybe you're crossing a line with the request, but if this whole thing is going to work out, it should be cleared up.
The smile that just now had a firm place on his face disappears. "Don't worry. It's not going to happen."
Apparently you have crossed a line, or rather hit a sore spot. All of a sudden Charles seems tense, the relaxed atmosphere seems to be lost and you would love to take it all back and apologize, but your roommate is faster.
"I don't think we need to talk about privacy. Everyone has their own stuff to deal with. If someone wants to talk about it voluntarily, that's fine, but no one is being pressured into anything here." You nod silently. "And I think honesty is important. I experience so much dishonesty in my job and it makes life so much more difficult and stressful. Just be honest with me, no matter what, and I promise I'll be honest with you, too. No matter what it's about."
The topic of unemployment pops into your head, but disappears again as Charles scoots closer to you on the couch and sits up straight. "We'll work it out. As long as you promise not to murder me in my sleep. After all, I don't have the option of locking myself in a room." His smile has returned to his face. It's faint, but at least it's there. 
"You caught that?" you ask, biting your lower lip.
"Like I said, the walls aren't very thick. But I don't blame you." He winks at you. "But I hope I'm not a complete stranger to you now."
He's actually not. True, you haven't talked about much personal stuff yet, but that's sure to come with time. Or maybe it won't. Sharing an apartment doesn't necessarily mean you'll become best friends. And that would be fine, too.
"I'll think twice about locking the door tonight," you quip, and his smile widens. It's so infectious that you follow suit.
"All right. I think we can work this out. I haven't drawn up a roommate agreement now, but we're both adults. We'll stick to the agreements and if one of us thinks of anything else, we'll talk it over and work it out." He holds out his hand for you to shake. "Deal?"
You hold out your hand as well, but before you can shake his, the cell phone in your pocket rings. You pull it out and when you see who's calling you, your smile vanishes in a millisecond.
Why is he calling you? Hasn't he humiliated you enough? Embarrassed you? Made you the joke of your - former - friend group? What does he want from you now?
You press the call away and, frustrated, toss the cell phone between you on the couch and rub your hands over your face. You don't notice that Charles has caught on to the situation until he speaks up.
"Are you busy now?" As you look at him, he's still smiling, but a little softer. His smile doesn't reach his ears now, but the green in his eyes gleams nonetheless. 
You exhale loudly. You're out of a job. What could you possibly be up to? "No. Why?"
Charles gets up from the couch. "Then let's do something. I know a really good lookout point. You can see all of Monaco from there."
Whether he actually feels like doing something with you, or is suggesting it out of pity, you don't know. But maybe Charles deserves a little benefit of the doubt. And you definitely don't feel like sitting around on the couch waiting for anything to happen.
"Come on, Y/N," he tries to coax you out of your shell.
"Are you going to take me to a secluded place to kill me? Or are you really going to show me a nice lookout point?" You stand up so that you are facing each other. You have to tilt your head back a little to look him in the eyes.
Charles looks down at you. "Do you really think I'd kill you now, after we've spent ages discussing our shared apartment? Wouldn't that be wasted energy?" He rolls his eyes playfully. "Give yourself a break."
"Fine," you reply to him. You raise your hand and point your index finger at him. "But if that lookout isn't the most beautiful I've ever seen, I may kill you."
Charles laughs. He almost closes his eyes at that. The sound is so heartfelt you have to grin.
"Deal."
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atsumulogy · 2 years
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synopsis: kdrama cliches & tropes u would experience w/ ur haikyuu boys.
pairing(s): various x gn!reader
content warning: mentions of being drunk, pinch of angst at the bonus end, wrist grabbing, mentions of a fight
naia’s footnote: first post 4 this blog … Feeling: Nervous 😹this probably a bit ooc but let me live! also?? the read more thingy gives me these stupid glitches and i had to redo this for so many times
likes & reblogs are appreciated!
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PIGGY BACK RIDES — scenario wherein you probably got injured or got too tired to walk and he carries you on his back (either begrudgingly or happily, either way you’re both warmer than usual in the face but no one says anything.)
→ BOKUTO, tsukishima(is part of the begrudgingly part, you’re probably too tired to walk or injured and he’s totally NOT worried about you okay? he just finds your whining annoying and wants you to shut up.) noya, asahi, aran, kita, akaashi, daichi, aone.
FORCED COHABITATION — you guys probably hate each other, and somehow, someway, you guys end up in a situation where you guys have to live together. this was not a part of his or your plans, but so is falling in love with each other but i guess fate has other plans!
→ SAKUSA, atsumu, shirabu, semi (you think he plays his guitar way too loud not knowing it’s the chords of the song he wrote about you)
CONFESSION OF FEELINGS BUT … — either you or he fell asleep, blackout drunk or just sleepy as hell. or he gets interrupted before he confesses by a phone call that will lead to many scenarios from misunderstandings to an emergency that will set back the confession a few more episodes until he actually gets to confess. or at this point, you have to be the one to confess because things just won’t go his way!
→ OIKAWA (LMAO, wanna see him suffer), ennoshita, kyotani, iwaizumi, goshiki, makki, tanaka, asahi, hinata, lev, atsumu, kuroo.
SHARING AN UMBRELLA — it rains but you forgot your umbrella, and he so happens to have one with him. and somehow you and him end up under his umbrella, close proximity as you could literally feel his hot breath and he wonders if you could hear his heart beat drumming like he just ran a whole mile. he would angle the umbrella in a way that you wouldn’t get wet by the rain while his shoulders soaking wet but it’s okay, as long as you’re fine and dry he doesn’t mind getting wet by the rain <3 (bonus if next day he gets sick and you visit him and take care of him AND maybe an almost kiss happening … 😁)
→ AKAASHI, KITA, semi, goshiki, tanaka, yamamoto, kuroo
WRIST GRABS — grabs your wrists to get you to talk to him because you walked out on him OR OR HE GRABS YOUR WRISTS BECAUSE HE GOT JEALOUS WITH THE GUY YOU’RE TALKING TO OR (they try not to be as forceful or harsh tho ☹️)
→ iwaizumi, osamu, suna, yaku, kyotani, tsukishima, kageyama, oikawa, atsumu, kuroo (?) atp i’m just saying anyone that comes into my mind LMAO
OLD CHILDHOOD FRIENDS THAT MEET AGAIN (AND FALL IN LOVE) — okay so you guys either remember each other not, but that really doesn’t matter in the end because either way, you guys would end up together. hashtag fated soulmates!
→ ushijima (I JUST FEEL LIKE HE COULD FIT THIS TROPE .. or probably he reminds of this male lead in a kdrama i watched with this trope LOL), sakusa, noya, oikawa, tendou.
SHOULDER NAP — he falls asleep in your shoulders, whether he meant to or not won’t change the fact that you could hear the beat of your heart increasing, your breath hitching, and suddenly the room feels hotter than ever.
or you fall asleep in his shoulder and suddenly he can’t move a single muscle anymore, but it’s fine, he thinks, as you nuzzle yourself unconsciously into his neck.
→ SUNA, kenma, kyotani (you fall asleep on his shoulders and instead of pushing you off him, he lets you sleep there and glares at anyone who stares at you guys.), kageyama, tsukishima.
BONUS: THE LOVE TRIANGLE TROPE — my guilty pleasure but also my most behated trope ever.
the male lead — the one who got the love interest in the end.
→ oikawa, tsukishima (it’s giving asshole male lead but gets the girl in the end anyway!), bokuto, terushima, tanaka, kageyama, atsumu, osamu, shirabu, goshiki, ushijima
the second lead — probably deserves the love interest as much as the male lead OR probably deserves the love interest more LMAO
→ akaashi (he treats the love interest so well and he just?? loves them sm?? even though he’s not the one that they picked?? crying he doesn’t even expect anything from them. he's the type of second lead every viewer was rooting for), iwaizumi, kindaichi, lev, yamamoto, and if i say suna, ennoshita, noya, konoha, koganegawa, semi, kawanishi
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thegoldencontracts · 2 months
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(Not) A Love Triangle
Summary: The rumors say you and Azul are in a love triangle with Jamil. Little do they know, that's not the case.
This idea is not mine, it's by @quartztwst - what if you and azul think the other likes jamil but you're both actually jealous of him and he hates his life?
“Oh, Jamil-san!”
“Hey, Jamil!”
“Dearest Jamil-san, you really ought to join Octavinelle someday.”
“Come on, Jamil, old buddy old pal, don’t give that guy the time of day. You should look at my epic ideas instead!”
This was the life of Jamil Viper, and he absolutely hated it. You and Azul Ashengrotto were both constantly pursuing him.
“Hey Jamil, why don’t you come over to my room sometime?”
“Dearest Jamil-san, do refrain from giving that cretin the time of day. Octavinelle’s lounge is far better than that musky old place.”
People had spread rumors, rumors about you two both liking him because, well, of course they did. The universe just couldn’t let Jamil Viper have nice things.
It was a love triangle, or so they said. Azul and you were both fighting over them, bickering, and the student body was enamored. One particularly enthusiastic student even made a small manga one-off that was quickly hailed as the hold grail of Night Raven drama.
But there was one thing that those fools didn’t realize.
Neither of you liked him. You both thought the other liked him, and so you attempted to get him away from the other so they’d stop liking him. You two didn’t react like most jealous individuals did, because the universe simply had to throw another inconvenience the way of Jamil Viper. What had he done to deserve all this?
Even when you two weren’t near him, he still couldn’t get a single break.
“Look!” Ace said to you, pointing at Azul with an impish grin. “It’s your crush. Aren’t you going over there and shoot your shot?”
“S-Shut up!” You said. “He’ll overhear, and- besides, he doesn’t like me. Everyone knows he likes Jamil.”
You seemed to deflate at the mention of Azul liking him, and if it weren’t for how wrong you were, perhaps a teensy part of Jamil would’ve actually felt bad.
No. He didn’t have time to feel bad. The only person here to feel sorry for was himself.
But this was getting annoying, so he tried to avoid looking at you — he didn’t want to hear anything else about your little romance.
That didn’t work out.
“Hey, Azul,” Floyd drawled, slipping an arm over Azul’s shoulder. “You gonna confess to your little grouper fish anytime soon?”
Floyd had even changed your nickname to that of a creature symbiotic with octopi! It was so clear you two liked each other and not him. And yet, no one but him - and maybe the twins - seemed to realize it.
“S-Shut it!” His response was so similar to yours it was driving Jamil crazy. “I don’t like- well, er-“
Realizing there was no defense for himself, he buried his face in his hands, cheeks red.
If he wasn’t such a pain, Jamil would almost find it cute. But Azul was a snivelling nincompoop,
“It doesn’t matter,“ he said, voice muffled. “My love couldn’t possibly be requited, not when Jamil’s right there!“
Azul’s ego was like a balloon, truly — appearing large and imposing, but small in volume and easily burst. Jamil had never seen someone more insecure.
Pathetic.
He didn’t have the time for this.
“Let’s go, Kalim,” he said, and almost instantly, the two of you perked up.
“May I assist you, Jamil-san?”
“Don’t look at him, I’m a way better pick! At least I’m not trying to scam you and kill your grandma!”
“I resent that accusation. In fact, I’ve never killed a grandmother in my life! I am a very respectful and law-abiding-“
“Yap yap. Now, go. Jamil deserves better.”
“Than you, yes.”
Any pity in his heart was immediately stamped out. Of course, the two of you couldn’t allow him a moment of peace.
Of course.
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heartsfourdazai · 5 months
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Hi, can you do Dazai, Chuuya, Kunikida and Sigma with a reader who has bad dyscalculia? Thanks and I like your writing
"it's okay, i'll help you learn."
warnings: lowercase writing, mostly fluff
guys, i figured out how to do the gradient textttt!! and i love it so much!!! request are open, feel free to request more!!!
@justcallmesakira @atlasnessie @riiwrites @silverbladexyz
dazai, chuuya, kunikida, and sigma with a dyscalculia gn reader
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dazai
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"can you solve this?" he asked, pointing the tip of the pencil at the multiplication question. the two of you were seated at a small table with a light shining below you. "uh.." you stared at the question, attempting to figure it out in your head. "it's okay to use your fingers." he reassured you, in hopes of calming you down.
"is it...23?"
he gave you a sad smile, rubbing your back as he spoke; "you're close, but just a little far...you forgot to-"
you whined, slamming your head onto the table into your arms as you sob softly. "oh, nonono; baby.." dazai cooed, tugging you close to give you a side hug, hushing you quietly as you continued to sob.
"whuhy is this so hahard!"
he rocks your body back and forth in his arms; "i know it's hard, but we're learning it so it won't be hard!"
"but-but i've behen getting all the questions wrong!! i fehel so stupihid!"
his heart shattered; "nono, 'donna, your not stupid..it's okay to not understand right away; that's why we learn!!" he kisses your temple in hopes of shushing you.
"but-"
"ahah!' he placed a finger in your lip, "you are so much more smarter then you know, you just have trouble understanding it then other people, and that's okay! look; we'll take a small break for now, m'kay?"
he closes the math textbook and shuffles you closer to him and kiss you on the lips; "i love you so much, don't be so stressed about this! besides, i hate math too, such a silly thing to learn. say, when are you ever going to need to know 16x34 in a hostile situation, hm?"
kunikida
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"how does THAT make any sense!!" you yelled out of frustration as you swung your arms in the air and crossed them, looking away from the stupid math sheet you've been assigned as homework.
"i'm trying to show you, so you can understand WHY it doesn't make sense.."
maybe asking your boyfriend, who used to be a damn math teacher himself in the past, for help wasn't such the smartest idea.
"now, if we take the 2 and multiply it with the-"
"wait; i thought we were subbing?"
he rubbed the bridge of his nose and side loudly, to which you decided it was best to shut your mouth.
you've been stuck on the same question for the past 10 minutes, and nothing still made sense to you.
"there, did that make any sense at all?" he asked, looking back at you.
you...shrugged, not fully understanding what he had said.
he sighed, again, "y/n; i know you're a smart person you just need to try harder.."
"oh, so you think I'm stupid?"
he blinked, udderly confused..."what, no, of course not- why-"
he stopped talking as soon as he heard you sniffle...
"ih'm sorry...ihi'm just tired of this.."
he understands and just simply closes the book and took your hands into his and smiles; "then we take a break, do you want to order take out? i'm sure we can take a mini break before getting back to work, besides.." he kisses you on the lips, "maybe the break will be just what you needed."
chuuya
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"when the fuck did they add letters into math??" he would whisper to himself the second he read your paper. you had asked him for some help, but he always seemed to find a way to not.
it's not that he doesn't want to, it's just he was never the best at math.
"uh, okay, first let's...break down...the formula. it says we need to to find the x, pfft, just take a look at shifty dazai's tinder profile, uh, okay seems pretty simple."
you sat silently in your chair as you listened to chuuya read the question out loud; "do you know the formula of a triangle? pretty sure that's what they want?"
you looked at him, biting your nails gently as you shook your head no.
"oh. okay, well that's alright, let's just search it up online!"
and so he did.
"oh shit, i almost forgot about dinner!" he suddenly panics and drops his phone in your hands..."here, you keep at it and I'll be right back!"
he kissed your temple and ran out of your room...leaving you in a shocked and confused state.
about 25 minutes later, chuuya returns from the kitchen. "okay, i'm back. have you-"
he stopped dead in his tracks to see you on the floor of your bedroom, sobbing into your knees as your math papers surrounded you.
"oh, sweetheart.." he crouched down to your body as you sniffled out cries:
"ihi give uhup! ihit's too stuhupid! I'M stuhupid!"
he shakes his head, rubbing your back as he engulfed you in a hug. "you're not stupid, hell far from it! i know this can e tough to learn, i had trouble understanding math as well. but look at me now, i'm still here and doing what i do best without having any idea how to do long division at the top of my head.."
sigma
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"ugh, i give up!" you threw the papers to the side of your desk as you closed your textbook shut; your hands grabbing your hair as you glared aimlessly at the wood of your desk.
your boyfriend, sigma, over heard your sudden outburst and closed his book, his eyes focused on you. "sugarplum, are you alright?" he would ask and you sighed, rubbing your eyes as you nod; "yeah. yeah. i'm peachy!" you stood from your seat and made your way to your shared bathroom.
sigma stayed quiet, not wanting to upset you more then you already seem to be. which he still wants to know the reason for.
minutes later, you returned from the restroom.
your eyes were puffy and red as you sat on the bed, close to sigma.
he looks up from his line of view to look at you. you didn't look at him as you fell toward the sheets of the bed, and let out a loud sigh.
"stressful day?"
he asked you and you hummed in response, slowly leaning in closer to you.
he saw your movements and held you closer to him, pulling you into your laps.
"i wish math could solve it's own problems..."
he laughed softly and kissed your head.
"how about, you take a break? you seem really stressed out, and i don't like to see you like this.."
you smiled up at him and nod, "i'd like that..."
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shuuuuush · 9 months
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LET ME LOVE YOU 【SHARKY】
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【Summary】 ; Finding yourself dragged in to join a video with the beta squad, you meet Sharky. You've promised before that you wouldn't fall for anyone anymore after all you've been through. But now that he's popped up in your life, maybe you're slowly breaking your promise.
【Warnings】 ; slow build, reader has a description of a past abusive (more toxic than abusive) relationship and insecurity, mentions of trauma from it, slow brains to comprehend feelings, words: "damn", "bastard", "Shit" are used, Sharky being a jokeman.
【Pairing】 ; Sharky x f!Reader
【Word Count】; hehe 15k !!
【A/N】 ;Hope you all enjoy this, and it did take a while, so please let me know what you all think about it ! @vctrvn-ls thank u so much for scenario ideas and motivation when I felt like my brain was fried, and @allygatcr for hyping me up for this fic 🫶🫶 and all my mutuals who have long awaited this fic I love u all !
Masterlist
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The cold, cool air of the summer breeze hit your face as you stared out the window of the moving car.
Chin leaning on your hand as you watched houses and landscapes moved past your eyes in a speedy manner.
You didn't know what to expect in this upcoming event you were attending, well not a big event but a video that was shooting.
It was your first collaboration with other youtubers as you yourself was an upcoming one. Well you were more a guest than a collaboration but that's what you liked to call it.
Being nervous was an understatement, you didn't know what to expect but all you could do was hope for the best. Knowing the Internet could do anything after the video was posted was what made you more nervous, you hope things go your way and all but is that really realistic?
"You better not be over there being worried about the whole thing Y/N." A voice spoke beside you, one who was driving the car you were in.
Turning to roll your eyes at him, Aj just shook his head, hand still on the steering wheel as he continued speaking, since you didn't say anything.
"Cmon, I told you it's all good. These guys are my trusted friends and good collabs too. It'll help you a lot. And maybe get over your fear of…" He trailed off, glancing to your side as he faked a cough to quickly recover from what he was originally going to say, "You know what I mean. I'm telling you right now it's all good."
"It better be." You mumbled, still staring out the window of the car trying to calm your nerves down. Sure, Aj tried giving you a pep talk, but right now, it wasn't really working. Still, you appreciated what he did for you.
Aj was one of your family friends, you both have known each other since you were really young and both grew up together. He was the older brother that you never had. Throughout your childhood, you would be able to count on his triangle head.
Even though you'd both insult and tease each other, you still cared and were thankful.
And being the good friend Aj was, he saw how you were trying to become a bigger youtuber. But he knew you were afraid to expand and get to know more people than your small circle of ones you already knew.
So, he told you about the beta squad and how he and his friends created this group, where they make videos together and live in the same house. They do collabs with others too to make their videos more fun and interesting when there's guests.
He invited you, despite you saying you were fine by yourself, he insisted that it would be fun. And now here you are, on your way to the beta squad house to film a video with some people you don't know.
Except the short triangle head.
"If things don't go great, I'm heading straight back to this car, Aj." Sitting up straight and turning your head to him as you spoke.
You could tell he was contemplating whether or not to say some insult or snappy remark back, but in the end, he just nodded and said alright.
The driving came to a slow as the car approached the driveway of the house. The house itself was actually impressive. You thought maybe it would not be the best-looking house you'd seen with Aj living in it, but clearly, you're wrong.
I mean, what did you expect? They live in a mansion for crying out loud. You thought to yourself, as if hearing you, Aj laughed and commented on that thought.
"Yep, this place cost a sh' ton of money, but it's worth it." He spoke as he parked the car and turned off the engine. Looking for his keys to open the front door.
You laughed, finding the key on the front window of the car and handing it to him "Okayy mind reader shabeel. Thanks for the info."
He rolled his eyes in response and exited the car, causing a laugh to escape you again. Taking your phone out of your pocket, you looked at the time as it read, 4:30pm. The video was scheduled to start preparing to shoot at 5:00pm.
You got out of the car and shut the door, following Aj to the front of the house as he unlocked the door with some passcode at which he told you to "look away I don't want you breaking into this house"
And then proceeding to use the key to unlock the front door.
Stepping inside the house, it was cooler than outside, probably because of the air conditioning, and the mansion was huge, bigger inside than what it looked like outside.
Cold marble flooring that matched the white of the walls. Taking a look around the house, you noticed posters of all the beta squad, sitting on their thrones and wearing royal king crowns, following with their names beneath the poster.
You admit this place is starting to look really cool, and the fact that all of them are still quite young and can afford a house like this amazes you. Perhaps one day you'd be able to do the same.
Sniffing, you smelt a savoury aroma enter the room, you guessed, coming from the kitchen as you imagined the delicious food being cooked.
But your attention to food was taken away when you heard a ringtone coming from Aj's phone.
Glancing at it, he started to speak, "I gotta take this sorry, you can go ahead and sit on the couch or take a look around. Sharky might be at home right now, too."
Before you could question further where the sitting room was, he already was on the call, speaking to someone and walking out the door outside to the carpark.
You sighed, putting a hand on your hips, guess you had to explore now.
Thankfully, you found the giant couch without too much effort. As there was a glass door in front of you, beside the posters you were looking at earlier.
Speed walking up to the couch and plopping onto it, you felt the comfort of it instantly sink in, you felt like you were in your own bed that's how comfortable it was.
You pulled your airpods out of your pocket and connected it to your phone as you put them into your ears to listen to some music to pass the time a bit.
Going into Spotify to find your most trusted thing, your music playlists.
Pressing shuffle, you were glad one of your favourite songs popped up, "Thinkin' bout you." By Frank Ocean.
You listened to a lot of music artists and you never really had a favourite, but whenever you did listen to Frank Ocean it's just something about the lyrics that always touched you. Either they were too real or too sad and it made the songs more enjoyable. Or they were also just a good beat to be honest.
Humming along to the song, you foot tapped to the beat, following along with your head in sync. As you scrolled through your phone to find something to do, quietly singing the song that played through your airpods.
Cause I been thinking 'bout forever, ooh
Most of the time, you could almost dance to the music when you were alone but here, you were content with just tapping your foot along with the beat.
No, I don't like you, I just thought you were cool enough to kick it
You started humming along to the words, enjoying the beat of the music.
Got a beach house I could sell you in Idaho, since you think
Now the music had taken over and you were singing along to the music, not singing too loud but enough to not classify it as a whisper.
I don't love you I just thought you were cute, that's why I kissed you
Got a fighter jet, I don't get to fly it though I'm lying down
Too lost in the music, you failed to hear the footsteps approaching beside you. You jumped slightly as a hand tapped your shoulder, causing you to remove one of your airpods and look up to see who it was.
"Hey, sorry for startling you. I just wanted to come over and say hi, You're Y/N, right? The guest today?"
You were greeted by dark chocolate eyes that were connected with a smile. A pretty face, you'll be honest. And he was tall. Damn, he was tall. Like 6 foot something, definitely. He had a good sense of style, wearing a grey backwards hat and matching hoodie and joggers that had a logo, Primo on it.
Still hooked on the fact that this beautiful man was standing in front of you. Were you daydreaming again?
Maybe you were observing him for too long, as he waved a hand in front of your face with a small chuckle.
"Oh! sorry, yes, I'm Y/N, I didn't mean to stare.." You internally punched yourself in the brain. He didn't have to know you were staring. Why did you say that out loud? You frickin idiot. You still haven't even turned off your music yet.
You paused the music on your phone and it caused an excited gasp to escape from the man in front of you, confused you looked back up at him to see him smiling with excitement as he was looking at your phone.
"Oh my days, you listen to Frank Ocean? Do you like his music?" He came over to sit beside you, still excited like a little kid who just made a friend for the first time.
You gave a slight giggle as you nodded, "I don't just like his music, I love his music. It's just something about the way his songs are always so real."
"Yeah, it's so relatable, and the way his lyrics are raw, it just makes it more enjoyable, you know?" He added, nodding while he talked and listening to you intently.
"I know, right? Honestly, one of the best music artists I know." You agreed, a small smile dusting your face as you talk about the one thing you enjoy, music.
He chuckled, "The greatest of all time," he stopped for a bit before asking, "What's your favourite song of his?"
"Ohh, it's hard to say because I love them all." You looked away to ponder for a minute, trying to differentiate which of his songs you would classify as a 'favourite.' No one really asked that before, too, so you never really had to think about it. "Honestly, I can't choose."
"Cmon, you have to have one that you could listen to forever."
You thought for a bit, "Hm, but if I had to have one, I'd say this song I'm listening to right now, Thinkin Bout You."
"Ohh, that song is so good, I'd say mine is Pink and White, only because I've been listening to it a lot." He admitted, one hand in the air as he said that last statement with a grin.
It's been a while since you've been able to connect and talk to someone about interesting topics you enjoy. You felt so welcomed, and something about him just warmed your heart, always managing to put a smile on your face every next sentence he spoke.
You could tell he was an open person, someone you could trust. This feeling you get of trust and instant friendship is rare and hard to find, and when you do find it, you've heard that you shouldn't lose it. It's a once in a lifetime chance.
Suddenly, he face palmed and mumbled an 'I'm so dumb,' "Sorry I forgot to introduce myself, I'm Sharky." He held a hand out to you to shake. You took it automatically and with a smile.
"Y/N L/N." Wait, you didn't even register what his name was for a second, and then it just clicked. "Sharky? Like a shark? Is that a nickname?"
"Aha, yeah, that's what I'm nicknamed as my actual name is Sharmarke. It's just that's what I'm better known as." He scratched the back of his neck while looking to the side, a small pink dusting his cheeks.
You were about to ask more on that before you heard more voices enter the room. Both of you turned your heads to see what you assumed was the beta squad, and some camera crew entered.
Sharky turned to you and smiled, "We can talk after, I think we're about to start. These are the rest of the beta squad." He said, standing up and pointing to the four guys. You followed his line of sight and saw them waving at the both of you.
Getting up and coming over to greet them all, you introduced yourself to the three and got their names as Niko, Kenny, and Chunkz. You were about to comment on the last one's name before he put up a hand and pointed to all of himself as his explanation to which he gave a laugh.
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The camera crew set up everyone, placing mics on them and doing sound checks on everyone. Putting cameras in two rooms, one for the main video and the other for another part of the video, the part where an individual talks to the camera themselves.
Now you saw that everyone had put on their silly costumes and understood why Aj had asked you previously to bring something too.
You had brought a red riding outfit since it was the only costume-like thing that you had owned. You changed into that, and you went to check out everyone's costumes, or if you didn't know what it was, you asked them.
Kenny was dressed as bigfoot, Chunkz as "Prince of Saudi Arabia", Niko as Sharky, well more specifically a Shark biting him, Sharky as a black viking and Aj a sheep. Quite accurate, you thought with a small giggle.
The lighting in each room took a while to set up as it had to change throughout the video. Green and red lights were the two colours. While getting mic'd up, Niko explained to you the video they were shooting.
A game called Mafia.
"So basically, there's 6 players, 6 cards, 2 for the mafia, 4 for the civilians. The cards are picked at random by all players. The mafia share their identity with each other, while the others close their eyes and are left in the dark. All players open their eyes, and the game is on." Niko spoke as they finished up the sound and led you all to the mafia game room upstairs. He continued to explain the game to you while also showing you a clip of the previous videos on how to play.
"The civilian's job is to find the mafias and get them out. They need to work together in catching these two and not letting them take over. The only problem is they don't know what card everyone else has. The mafia's job is to make all the civilians turn on each other and eventually vote each other out, making them the only remaining players."
"And at the end of every round, one person will be voted out and punished by being dunked into a tank of freezing water, the victim will then reveal their card showing the rest of the players whether they made the right choice or not." Aj laughed as he told you that this was his favourite part of the game. He just hoped he wasn't the one being dunked in the tank.
Everyone sat down in their respective places on the couch. You sat down next to Aj, obviously because he was the closest to you, following Chunkz beside Aj, Niko, and Kenny beside him. Leaving one space beside you, Sharky took that place with a smile on him.
"So the game ends when either both mafias are caught or all civilians are outnumbered and voted out, right?" You asked no one in particular, but they all nodded and that you now understood how the game was played.
You'll admit it does sound fun. You've never heard of this game before, but if it's as fun as it sounds, it probably would end up being one of your favourite games. And as Aj told you before your chance to get over your fear. You don't like being reminded about it, but just for a while, you didn't have to remember.
Looking around the grey but well lit room, you noticed an LED light sign that read "Mafia" in blue, and playing cards that had each beta squad member on it as a king or joker etc.
The camera director told you all it was starting in 1 minute, causing the chatter to cease as quickly so that they could start filming. You glanced to your side as Aj nudged you, giving you a thumbs up and mouthing an "you'll do great," to which you whispered a thanks.
Seeing this interaction, Sharky leaned in towards you but respecting your space and also whispered, "Don't worry, Y/N, it'll be fun." He smiled at you when he saw that the nerves in your face calmed down a little after both of the reassurance you've gotten.
"Camera rolling!" The cameraman shouted.
Aj was the first to speak, "Welcome to another game of Mafia! Please welcome our new guest, drum roll, please!" Everyone was hitting the table to sound a drum roll as they then all pointed at you, "Y/N L/N!" You waved at the camera and thanked everyone.
"Now that we've introduced her, it's time to pick the cards." Sharky glanced at you for a split second when he spoke, before reaching to grab the cards, everyone following suit to do the same.
If the cameras didn't pick it up, then you surely did when you both made eye contact with each other after looking at your card, which was the mafia card. The King. Why did you look at Sharky first after looking at your own card? You really don't know the reason for it. But you couldn't ponder any longer as you had to win this game.
Chunkz did the honour of telling everyone to put down their cards and close their eyes.
"Mafias! Open your eyes." Chunkz said cheekily while dragging out the 'eyes.'
Slowly, you opened your eyes and looked around, trying not to make any noise when you turned as you were still wearing your hood over your head.
Looking towards your right, not Aj, not any of the other boys so that must mean, as you turned your head to the left, you met eyes with Sharky, who smiled instantly and slowly nodded his head while you gave him a smile back.
"Mafias, close your eyes." Chunkz shouted, which caused the both of you to turn your heads back and shut your eyes. "Everyone, open your eyes."
When you opened your eyes, for some reason, you just couldn't hold in your smile. You were excited, genuinely. This already seems fun.
Aj must have caught on to this because he instantly went to attack you on that. "Nah, why you smiling Y/N, are you Mafia?"
"What? Can I not smile?" Damn it, where you about to get caught already? The game just started ain't no way you're letting them think you're mafia.
"Smiling is a bit suspicious, you know? I'm getting mafia vibes from Y/N." Aj turned around to the rest of the guys and pointed at you, who faked being shocked and hurt.
"Wow Aje, you know, you thinking I'm mafia without any other grounds other than me smiling is suspicious in itself. I'm thinking you're targeting me because you're mafia." You stated as a matter of fact, to which the others nodded.
"That does sound like Aj when he's mafia." Kenny said, rubbing his chin while looking at Aj with distrust.
"Yo HOW blud. She's trying to trick you all against me." Aj shouted as he threw both of his arms in the air to prove his point.
"Yeah, I think we should just vote Aj out. Personally, I don't like mafia infested rats." Niko laughed as he looked at the camera saying those last words.
"So all in favour of voting out, Aj?" Sharky spoke now, looking around the room as he raised his hand to see who would follow, and everyone did but Aj, causing the shorter man to stand up and leave, mumbling an "I hate you guys" making the rest of you laugh.
All of you were led outside and were about to watch Aj be dunked into a tank of freezing water. You laugh as you remember Aj saying earlier that the forfeits were his favourite part of the video, oh how the tables have turned for him.
Niko was the one to throw at the dart target board for Aj, he missed the first few times but when he finally made it, seeing Aj's face as he dropped in the water was one that made everyone burst into laughter and excitement.
As he got out of the tank, the boys shouted "Show your card" And when he did, it showed a 5 of spades. Everyone just groaned in disappointment.
"YOU LOT WASTED YOUR TIME, MAFIAS STILL OUT THERE." Aj yelled as he ran back into the house to change out of his now freezing cold clothes.
Obviously everyone knew Aj wasn't the mafia but if he was that would've been great, 1 out. But realistically they just wanted the rat gone. Kenny pointing a suspicious finger at you after Aj showed his card to everyone.
You glanced at Sharky, sending him a quick, worried look as you saw Kenny tell Niko his suspicions. And you both knew what you had to do in the next round.
As everyone sat down, Chunkz was the first to speak, "Now automatically I'm smelling Niko vibes." He giggled afterwards as a shocked and confused look went on Nikos face.
"What? I've not done anything? You can't always target me because you don't like me."
"Okay so Niko, who do you think is the mafia?" Sharky asked, because he knew that once Niko thought that one of you was the mafia, he would stop at no costs to prove his point and he might even end up winning the game.
"Well, earlier, Kenny told me that it could be Y/N. But I mean, you haven't really done anything that would be mafia suspicious in my eyes. But Chunkz keeps targeting me, so now he's my suspect."
You sighed quietly, hoping no one heard that. At least Niko didn't think you or Sharky were mafia.
"Yeah, actually," you started to speak, turning to Chunkz, "Why are you thinking Niko's mafia?"
"Nah, it's because every Mafia, I go for Niko, I just try to show from early that he's not my friend. There's like no coalition."
They all went back and forth with the banter and hurling suspicions left and right and each other, but surprisingly, no one thought you or Sharky were mafia. The only suspects were Niko, Kenny, or Chunkz.
Sure, they suspected you both a few times, but really, they didn't think much of it, as everyone was already pinning it against themselves they didn't have time to suspect you both fully.
Until the last round, Chunkz had been voted off and seeing as his card wasn't a king card the suspicions now turned to you again. Kenny was the first to pounce again on the argument.
"Listen, Niko, I'm thinking Y/N is mafia. One hundred percent, no doubt. But I think Sharky might be the other mafia. I'm not too sure about that."
"Niko, don't listen to him, I promise you, I am not Mafia." You looked at Niko and put on your best innocent face.
"I don't know, to be honest, I'm baffed." Niko threw his hands in the air in confusion and placed a hand over his mouth to think. "Then again, big foot here isn't really giving me much evidence to question on."
"Yeah, but it's not about evidence!" Kenny shouted, and it caused the rest of you to laugh at how serious he's being, even if he was telling the truth, you were a mafia. "Oh my days, Niko, can't you see? They literally are both mafia!"
"Niko man, vote out, Kenny, because clearly he is mafia by trying to lure you in and win. There is one other mafia. I think it's Y/N if not you. At least get one of them out." You turned your head as Sharky spoke those words. You thought he was supposed to work together with you?
But then he sent a sly wink and smile towards your way, if you blinked you would've missed it and then it hit you, if Niko voted our Kenny here, you and Sharky would've won, both the mafias would be left standing winners.
And so when it came to the vote, it started with Kenny voting for you, then it was up to Niko, who looked back and forth between you and Kenny, you pleaded one last time with him.
"Look Niko, if I was mafia I would've been out by now, this is my first time playing. If you think it's me, vote for me by all means but if you just use your brain you could clearly see Kenny is mafia."
And with that, Niko agreed and voted Kenny, leaving you and Sharky to vote for him as well. Instantly after the votes were complete, Kenny stood up and left yelling at the camera as he didn't want to get dunked in water.
But as soon as he did, and when he showed his card making him a civilian, you and Sharky both shouted and jumped with joy, while Niko just stood there mouth agape as he slowly went to cover his mouth still being shocked and the rest of the boys yelled at Niko for being an idiot.
While you and Sharky celebrated, he went up to wrap his arms around you while yelling "We did it!!"
And you laughed along, hugging him back. When you did, it instantly felt comfortable, being in his arms felt safe. You didn't know what it was, why did it make you feel all fuzzy?
It reminded you of your mother's hugs when you were a kid, and you won something, the genuine happiness and excitement you found in that hug reflected Sharky's hug. It felt familiar and you wouldn't admit it if anyone asked you but you could stay in that hug forever.
Maybe you lingered in that hug for a second too long as the others started teasing Sharky, saying ooo, and Chunkz started singing, causing him to let go of you as quick.
After they calmed down a bit, they filmed the outro, and thanked you as their guest, and they allowed you to do the honors of saying, "play the trailer."
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After they finished the filming, you grabbed your belongings, and headed towards the bathroom to change out of your red riding outfit.
Just as you were about to enter, you heard your name being called, you turned your head to see Sharky running up to you with a wave.
When he finally reached you, you gave him a small smile to which he returned it and then rubbed the back of his neck while looking away.
"Hey, I just wanted to ask if you'd like to hang out sometime?" Sharky asked, a small cough erupting out of him at the end of his sentence. As he gazed back at you with those same soft brown eyes.
You were about to say sure, but then you hesitate. Why did he want to hang out with you? Did he mean romantically or platonically? And if you were about to fall in love again, you didn't know how you would feel about it. The last relationship you had, let's say … didn't end nicely.
But you were thinking too far ahead, for now you could make friends. And you always stick to the same branch of people that you hang out with, and these guys all seem really nice, and Sharky did have the same interest as you in music so why not?
"Sure, I'd, uh, I'd like that." You hated that against your own will. Your cheeks started to burn a little. You just hoped it wasn't noticeable to him.
"Yes!" He did a mini punch in the air but then realised what he did and scratched his head and cleared his throat, "I mean, that's great. Could I get your number? If you're okay with that, that is?"
Nodding, he quickly took out his phone and handed it to you, and you typed in your number, putting your contact name in too. He waited patiently as you did and when you handed it back to him, he called the number and the phone in your pocket buzzed.
He smiled and thanked you, "Hey, you know we make a good team. You actually did really well for your first mafia game."
"We do," You laughed, "you guys should invite me more on your mafia videos."
Sharky was about to say something when Aj yelled, "Hey lovebirds! I gotta drop Y/N back off so be quick and finish your conversation!"
Your eyes widened, Lovebirds?? Oh hell no, Aj's not getting away with that, you mumbled under your breath. Glancing up at Sharky to see his reaction he had the same reaction as you, but he just rolled his eyes and smiled at you saying that he'll leave you to it and pointed at the clothes you were holding. He waved as left to head towards the group.
Going into the bathroom and shutting the door, you looked at the mirror. Damn it, you were blushing. Shaking your head, this was gonna be a long car ride.
When you were done changing, you walked towards the door, where Aj was standing, waiting for you on his phone, when he looked up at you he rolled his eyes and said finally.
"Alright, I'm gonna drop Y/N off. See you guys later!" He yelled into the house, causing the boys to yell out a bye to you, and Niko popped around the corner to shake your hand and say bye to you.
"By the way, Y/N, all that banter that we said earlier, that was just for the video, so don't mind it." Niko admitted, waving a hand off towards Aj, who just laughed as he agreed with him, and then you both left to head to the car.
"So, what was that all about, ay?" Aj teased, as he had a smug grin on his face. As he glanced over at you, who was there looking straight ahead on the road, trying to avoid this conversation.
"I don't know what you're talking about." You shrugged, crossing your arms over your chest.
"Y/N, cmon, don't think I didn't see that idiot Sharks flirt with you."
"Flirt? I don't think he was flirting, he was just being friendly. We just met after all."
"Nah, he definitely was. Knowing Sharks, he just sucks at flirting. Actually," he started as he turned into the street you lived in. "Yeah, maybe he might just be friendly. But I'll be honest, it looked like flirting to me, Y/N. So just be careful. Don't want him breaking your heart or vice versa aight?"
You scoffed. Aj was definitely overreacting with this. But it did make you think, was he really flirting with you? Or was he just being overly friendly. You hoped it was the latter, though. You don't think you could handle a relationship right now.
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He watched as the car drove away, and when he turned around, he was frightened to see Chunkz looking at him with a sly smirk on his face. He just rolled his eyes as he made his way towards the couch, Chunkz following him as he continued to pester the other Somali.
"Oh my days, I know I made it so awkward. You know how awkward that was? I'm not good with girls at all." Sharky covered his face with hands as he slouched down onto the couch and sighed.
"You seemed fine when you hugged her." Chunkz did his famous laugh, as he went to sit beside Sharky.
"Stop, man, that was just -" Sharky cut himself off. What was that hug actually? Shaking his head, he cleared his throat as he pulled out his phone to ignore looking at Chunkz. "A winning hug. Like I hug all of you when we win a game."
"A winning hug? Sharky, you're a joke man. I know you fell in love instantly, bruva." He elbowed his friend as he laughed in his face. Causing the fellow Somali to pull over his hood to cover his face, which started to warm up.
Fell in love instantly? Sharky's not like that. Or was he? He didn't know at this point, just the very thought of you got his face heating up and the flutter of wings in his stomach grew out of nowhere. You've got him second-guessing himself. Usually, he's a confident guy, but now.
Now, he's definitely not.
Sharky was in the kitchen when he first saw you, he was making something to eat while waiting for the guys to arrive back at the house, but that's when he saw you walk toward the couch and sit there like you owned the place.
He was about to ask who you were, but then he remembered there was a guest for today's video. Normally, he would just call out loud and make his presence known, but he was caught off guard by your singing or, well, whispering the words to a song.
A song to which he also listened to.
He started to smile after hearing the words to the song you were singing. He leaned back against the counter to listen, but he then decided it would be a bit weird if he just stood there listening to you without you knowing, and that's how he decided to confront you.
As he moved closer to you, he realised how pretty you were. Like genuinely pretty, stunning even. The way your face smiled in that look of content as you listened to the music and-
Oh no. Maybe Chunkz was right.
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You head down the stairs to make your breakfast. It was about a week since you met the beta squad. And you were currently at home. You just finished getting ready to go on your morning run.
Usually, you don't go on runs in the morning as you'd sleep in, but for some reason, you had the urge to just get up and exercise.
As you were making your breakfast, a classic bowl of cereal and toast, your phone buzzed on the table. Turning your head, you stopped making the cereal and opened your phone, and checked the notifications.
A big smile cracked on your face against your will as you read the text from Sharky.
Message sent at 8:16 am
Sharky 🦈
Good morning 👋🏻
I was thinking, do you wanna … maybe hang out today?
IF YOU'RE NOT BUSY THAT IS😅
You 💟
Morning Sharky !
Nah I'm not busy, where do you wanna go?
Sharky 🦈
Hmm, wherever you want! I don't mind honestly 😁
You 💟
Ok, how about let's meet up in the park since I'm gonna go on a run there anyway and we'll see where it goes from there 😂
I'll see you at 9
Sharky 🦈
👍
See you then ❤️
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You stared at the message he last sent, "See you then ❤️"
Oh my days, you're going nuts over a heart emoji? You thought, internally slapping yourself, but you can't help but look over the message, and then you shook your head. Get yourself together, you send hearts to everyone, why did it surprise you when he did?
Finally taking the pieces of toast, and finishing off your cereal. You ate as quickly as you could, as soon as you finished it you grabbed your house keys and headed out to the park.
Locking your door, you put on your headphones and play your music playlist. You start to jog towards the park. You were thinking of running, but maybe you'll save that last bit of energy when you're closer to the park.
It was a chilly morning, the cool, crisp air hitting your body, but not enough to make you freeze, especially since you were jogging.
You don't remember the last time you jogged, maybe a few weeks or months, who knows at this point. Perhaps the conversation you had with Aj last time slightly may have hinted that Sharky does like his runs in the morning.
Is that what motivated you to run? Or was it just the fact that you haven't been out in a while?
The warmth hit you as soon as you closed in near the park. It wasn't that far from your house, maybe about 20-24 minutes.
You reached the entrance of the park, the soft scent of the array of flowers surrounded the area, and the tall trees moved with the gentle breeze.
People walked around the park, and some kids played as they ran around the park, chasing each other and shouting with joy when they caught up.
Nearing a bench, you sat down and pulled out your phone, checking the time, 8:42 am.
Maybe he was here already?
You hesitated. Should you call or text him? You ended up calling Sharky to see if he was here already or not. The phone rang twice before he picked up the phone.
"Hey Y/N, I'm at the park where are you?" Sharky's voice spoke through the phone.
"Just near the entrance, I'm sitting at a bench, uh," looking around, you tried to describe your surroundings, "near this really tall tree."
You heard him laugh softly through the phone, instantly causing you to smile and ask, "What's so funny?"
"Nah, it's because you said you're near this really tall tree, but Y/N, there's trees everywhere." He laughed again, making you roll your eyes but still have a smile on your face.
You ended up sending him your location, and he followed it, finally making his way as he caught sight of you sitting on the bench.
He stood there for a split second because call him crazy if you will, but he swore he saw some light shine upon you as the trees moved their way to do so. He softened his gaze, as the scene in front of him seemed like a movie.
It was a chilly day, yes, but somehow the sun came around just as he arrived. And especially when he saw you, the trees, sunlight and wind might have been paid actors if it wasn't for the fact that they're not people.
"Is this seat taken?" A familiar voice spoke as you looked up and met eyes with Sharky, who smiled as soon as you did. You motioned for him to take the seat beside you, and he gladly did.
The sounds of the park all muffled out, no person walking past, the rustle of trees in the breeze or even the cars on the far side could be heard as you drowned out all noise to listen to the Somali in front of you.
As you both talked, you ended up deciding to head to a cafe nearby, just to grab a drink, to talk and get to know each other. The walk wasn't that far and it was a small cafe.
A blue and white awning hung over the entrance and window of the shop, the inside was decorated nicely with tables and chairs surrounding the room. The warmth from the coffee being made radiated throughout the cafe, and the smell of baked goods added to it.
Both of you waited in line to order your drinks and pastries if you were feeling like it. You stared at the menu board behind the counter, looking at what to order. They had a wide range of drinks and food. Checking the prices beside them surely they couldn't be-
Why the hell are they so expensive??? You thought a small cafe like this would surely have good prices, but this was insane. £6.80 for a coffee? Crazy. And that was the cheapest thing there.
"What ya thinking of getting?" Sharky asked, leaning down to ask while still keeping his eyes on the menu board. You looked up at him briefly and made eye contact, causing you to turn your head swiftly back to the menu and pretend to look at it.
"Hmm, I was thinking of getting just the coffee because it's the cheapest thing there." You scoffed, shaking your head at the insane prices of this place.
"Just coffee? You could get something else too. You know I'm paying right?" He blurted that out like you were supposed to know that already, a giant grin forming on his face. You raised your brows, surprised.
"No, it's alright," you waved him off, "I can pay for my own one."
"Cmon Y/N, I insist." He started to grab his wallet from back pocket, but you stopped him by pushing his hand away from reaching it.
"Well, then I insist back?? And I don't want you to waste your money."
"It's not a waste if it's for you, plus I asked to hang out with you today. It's the least I could do." He shrugged, finally managing to reach for his wallet without you stopping him.
You were about to argue on that until he shot you a look, and you ended up rolling your eyes and accepting. Inside, you were grateful. At least your wallet was saved.
"Fine." You sighed. When you looked back at him, he had a smug grin on his face. He looked as if he had achieved the impossible, but he laughed when he saw the frown on your face.
He ordered for the both of you, and you waited for about three minutes before you collected your coffee and a pastry.
Heading over to a table that had two free seats, you sat down across from each other. Sipping your drink as he started a conversation. Turning to face you as he put down his own cup of tea.
"You have a channel, right? What videos do you make?" Sharky asked, genuinely curious since he didn't actually know much about you being an influencer.
"Honestly, I haven't made many videos, just a few prank videos with Aj and some beauty videos. A mix of everything I'd say." Chuckling as you took another sip of your coffee. He nodded at your answer and smiled.
"What else do you like to do then? Do you have any hobbies?" Laying his hand on his chin as his soft eyes met your gaze.
"Um," you ponder for a bit, "I like music, and I sing," you hesitate, scratching the side of your head, "well sometimes."
"Ohh, of course!" He throws his hands up in realisation, "Frank Ocean! So you like singing, that's good to know."
"Maybe one day you could put on a show and sing for me." Sharky's lips curled into a small smile, creasing the outer corner of his eyes. And seeing your face get slightly warmer only made his smile grow wider.
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It seemed as if you've talked forever, the way the conversations you've had with him flowed like honey. Almost as if you've known him your whole life, it was almost … comforting.
You don't know how you ended up talking about football, but it led to a conversation with him explaining the basic mechanics and how it's "so easy" even a baby could do it.
"You really don't know how to play football?"
Seeing you shake your head, must've lit a light bulb in his head, as his gaze turned from one of confusion to his sienna brown eyes widening.
"Unacceptable." He shook his head and stood up, taking your hand in his as he left you out of the cafe.
By the looks of the sky, it was evening already, the sun slowly setting as the sky painted a canvas of light orange hues and yellow rays.
You laughed, still holding on to his grasp, "Where are we going?" As he led you both down the street.
Your laugh rang in his ears, a small thing motivating him to stay by your side. It was angelic. You may not have thought so, but to him, if his heart had melted from it, he would fix it all up just to hear it again.
He brought you to a stadium, a football stadium. The grand entrance of the place staring you in the face as he entered in with some ID card and brought you to the pitch.
"I'm teaching you how to play football." Sharky spoke as he grabbed a nearby football that was lying in a basket full of other ones. Putting one hand on his hips as he beckoned you to come closer.
You were in awe of the stadium, it was huge, and it especially looked amazing in the evening, the peach coloured rays hitting the walls of the stadium emitting a soft hue around the pitch.
"How were you able to even get in?" You inquired of him, slowly walking closer to him as you looked around the stadium.
He led you to the middle of the huge pitch. The whole stadium was empty, except you thought you saw two cleaners, but other than them, it was just you and Sharky on the field.
He grinned, "Perks of being an ex-emirates stadium worker. Plus, I'm a youtuber, they know me." Putting a hand on his chest, as it was something that always deeply touched him.
"So," He started, as he kicked the football to go in front of him, "I'll show you how to kick the football first." He motioned for you to come closer, pointing at his right foot as he told you to kick it with the side of your foot instead of the tip.
He took a few steps back and sped up towards the ball and kicked it just as he showed you, evidently making a goal.
Earning a cheer from you, to which he gave a small bow, running up to get the ball back and placing it in front of you. "Now you try." He placed his hands on his hips as he waited for you. You looked at him as your face contorted into one of confusion.
"Uh, I don't think I'll be able to score a goal just like that? "
"Well, try it first then you can complain." He laughed, ushering you forward towards the ball, you looked at him and then back at the ball.
'Well here goes nothing' you thought and tried to kick as Sharky showed you, but you ended up only kicking it more than a meter away from you, and heading off to an angle to your right.
You heard a small snort come from Sharky as he tried not to laugh at that kick, earning an embarrassed chuckle from you, as you tried to shorten yourself from this situation.
Making Sharky feel bad so he put on a smile for you, to make you feel less awkward about this, he really did want you to learn and he has tons of patience so this would be really easy he thought.
"Yeah, maybe we should practice other things before goals. I realised that may be a bit difficult." He rubbed his chin, thinking of what to do next and his brows raised as it came to him.
He moved towards the storage room and brought out a few cones, placing them in a row in front of you, measuring the width of the spacing between each cone with his own body, he placed six cones in a row.
Taking the ball back and bringing it near the both of you, he started to move it between his feet, looking up at you as he did.
"So what I'm doing right now is called dribbling." Slowly moving towards the cones, the football still between his feet as he demonstrated going around the cones left and then right, up until the very end where he repeated it again heading back to you.
"Dribbling is basically just moving the ball between your feet, like kicking it a little."
Passing the ball to you as you stopped it with your foot, the small of your lips turning upwards, "You could practice by going around each cone and coming back to me here."
You nodded, placing it between your feet, moving closer to the cones as you tried to kick it back and forth between your feet, but it's easier said than done. As you tried but ultimately failed, crashing into the cones as you almost tripped over the ball, trying to go through the cones.
Causing a small laugh to come out of Sharky, as he walked over to you and extended a hand to help you up. He put the cones back in their place and let you try again, repeating to you how to do it as he watched you try to dribble between the cones. Evidently crashing into them again, at least it wasn't all of them this time.
After a couple more training sessions (more like failed attempts) you managed to do somewhat of a decent job at dribbling and sometimes you scored a goal. Almost always you earned a high five from Sharky, even if you did fail an attempt, he'd just smile and say we can try again. Never did he sigh and give up.
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"Wait, what did you just do right there?" You asked, after he suggested you can take a break, since you seemed out of breath after all the training.
You were kicking the ball back towards the seating area when Sharky quickly kicked the ball from beneath you, taking it back towards him as he tossed it up into his hands.
"This? It's called a nutmeg, you simply just kick the ball through your opponent's legs, to retrieve it back so that they won't have it anymore."
You laughed, sitting down in one of the chairs, gazing up at Sharky as he messed around with the ball. "I thought nutmeg was a spice?"
He furrowed his brows for a split second and then let out a laugh, "Yeah, it is, but that's just the term for it. We're not really cooking here, are we?" Shrugging his shoulders as he went to sit beside you.
A soft silence filled the area, as both you and Sharky didn't speak a word. Even the usual white noise, when things got quiet, couldn't be heard, but instead, a delicate soft breathing between the two of you.
Fiddling with your thumbs as you stared at your feet. When is there ever just silence? Normally overpowering the peace, the sounds would get louder, the steady rhythm of your beating heart, sometimes going off track to stumble you.
But now, it's at ease, the quietness, an instant comfort to soothe your mind and heart. Lifting your head up to look around the stadium, it's not normally quiet in a place like this, but now, now is a rare time.
Sharky was looking at you now, eyes softening at your figure, the way you're peacefully sitting here, content, and the soft breathing from you showing him that you're alright with him being here. Alright, with him being beside you. And that, that's what makes him smile.
"You know what," you say, suddenly standing up and placing your hand on your hips, catching him off guard as he didn't expect you to move suddenly, "Let's do a 1v1."
Sharky squints slightly, uncertainty written upon his face, "Are you sure? It seems a bit unfair from my point of view."
"Are you doubting me?" You scoff, picking up the football that was tossed to the side earlier and holding it in your arms.
He laughed quietly, gazing up at you with his brown doe eyes, "Not at all."
Both of you moved towards the centre of the pitch, placing the ball in the middle of you and Sharky. You glanced up to see he was already looking at you. You thought it was to prepare himself, but something was telling you it was anything but that, behind his eyes. Shaking off the thought and ignoring it, you stood ground and prepared for the 1v1.
"Don't go easy on me." You grinned, winking at that statement.
He pretended to think for a minute but then smirked and locked eyes with you, "Never, don't worry. First, to score wins."
He counted to three, and you both aimed towards the ball, you managed to grab it first but he took it off of you, heading towards the goal while dribbling, you tried to run after him but then you saw that he was about to make a goal.
You remember him doing a nutmeg, earlier and thought maybe this was your ticket to victory, moving closer as you ran beside him trying to get the football.
But as you did, your foot got caught on his ankle causing you to spin. Your eyes widen as you see him fall back and you shut them waiting for impact.
Only when opening them do you find yourself fallen.
on top.
of Sharky.
It was too fast to stop it, and both of you didn't react until it was too late. Landing on his chest, you slowly lifted your head up to see him, his hand reaching to touch the back of his head. Your brows furrowed in worry, and pupils written in fear.
You watched as his gaze instantly shot to you, raising his head just as quick and the same worried expression you had on your face, reflecting his own one. "Are you alright?"
"No! Wait yes, I mean, are you alright? I should be asking you, not the other way around…"
Your voice trailing off, you found yourself frozen in place, a shiver of nervousness hitting your skin. Despite your brains commands to move, your body ignored it.
As part of you wanted to get up, the brain telling you to do so, the common sense in this situation, but your longing heart, the other, just wanted to keep looking into his dark eyes and get lost in them.
Dark chocolate rays fanning out around the bottomless pit of an iris, inky crescent moons trapped by a hazy, black limbal ring.
Those eyes are the colour of every tree in the forest, richer, due to the golden light from dawn to dusk. The warmth of an eternal hearth felt in those deep brown eyes.
Holding eye contact was the strongest thing you could have ever done. An achievement, a rare feeling inside of you bubbling up just waiting to come out.
For a second, you thought you imagined it, but reality hit you as you see his eyes flicker to your lips. Your mind finally taking over the reins, causing your heart to match the speed of the beads of sweat falling down.
You blinked, clearing your throat and getting up off of Sharky. You got up, stumbling, almost tripping on your own foot as you do so. The normal colour of your cheeks suddenly changing to a red hue as the warmth builds up.
Why can't you function properly today?? Placing a hand on your face, you can feel the warmth radiating, no doubt an obvious hue, seeping and shown through, you could not let him see you like this.
His brows knitted together as he took a glimpse at you, and he shifted to sit upwards, What happened? What did I do? Sharky thought, as he observed you, watching as you stood there covering your face with your hands.
Standing up now, rushing to your side, he put a hand on your shoulder as he tried to get your attention, "Are you okay?"
The smoky sound of his voice, making you feel intoxicated. The sound of your heart beating like crazy rang through your ears as you could barely make out the words Sharky was saying. Your breathing, quickening, and uneven, why were you like this?
Sharky didn't know what was happening at this point, he guessed maybe you were a bit overwhelmed with the whole football thing, and tired from all the running. He was worried but he didn't want to overthink it if it was a minor issue.
"Do you want some water?" He offered, handing you an extra bottle of water, he brought with him earlier.
"Uh, yeah…" You accepted, nodding your head frantically and taking the water from him, "Thank you." turning away from him as you drank.
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The night sky was aglow with the bright city lights of London, the shades of navy and black painted across the sky like a giant canvass, and yet the stars fought their way onto this canvass, outnumbering and conveying their glow to the eyes of people.
You were heading home now, and even though you insisted you'd be fine heading back yourself, Sharky wouldn't take no for an answer and made sure that you had to return home safely.
Walking beside each other as a small breeze hits your backs. Sometimes when you walked your hand would brush against his, and your stomach would get butterflies. Causing you to pull your hand back but not enough to make it too obvious.
The touch was electric, one that sent your nervous system to jealousy, but you couldn't help but think about it. The soft touch of his hand, what would it be like to hold it again? But… longer?
Little did you know, he was thinking the exact same thing. Earlier, he did manage to grab your hand, but only for a short spur of the moment. It wasn't technically holding your hand. It was more of a… guiding you.
Sharky wasn't gonna back down this time. He had an amazing time with you. Your laugh, your smile? He really didn't want it to end. Just one day isn't enough time with you.
How did he do it before? How did he manage to take hold of your hand earlier? Maybe it was because he wasn't overthinking back then, but now he was.
I've done way more scarier things, I got this. He reminded himself, taking a deep breath to prepare, hyping up himself as he tried to get rid of the nerves.
3… 2… 1… He reached out for your hand, but you suddenly stopped in your tracks. Turning to face the other way, he retracted his hand.
"This is my stop." You mention, as you came to a stop in front of the pathway of your home.
Shit, Sharky sighed, gaze turning to the floor. There goes that opportunity, he sighed. Why couldn't he have just done it faster?
"Alright… uh, I'm gonna go? Thank you for walking me home, Sharky." You beamed at him, flashing a shy smile as you tried to hug him goodbye.
Clearly, he didn't know it was going to be a hug because he tried to elbow bump or more of a fistbump you instead. You tried to motion to him that it was a hug and he ended up realising it with a laugh, then engulfed you in a hug, wrapping his arms around your waist as you wrapped yours around his shoulders.
"Of course," He spoke just above a whisper into the hug, and smiled to himself, good thing you couldn't see his face right now because if you could, rosy cheeks dusted his face and a wide smile stuck on his face.
If you could stay in this hug, you would, the warmth radiating from it shielding you from the night breeze. The soft fabric of his clothing hugged your figure as it provided comfort in his arms.
As you tried to pull apart, a piece of your jewelry got caught on a stray thread of his jumper, an awkward chuckle coming out the both of you as you attempted to try and just break the thread off of your necklace.
Instead, it just made the thread longer, to which you just resorted to taking off your necklace and handing it to Sharky, giving up on trying to remove the stray piece of thread.
"Just… when you get home, cut it off and give it back when you next see me." You say, a tinge of hope in your voice, hoping that he did want to see you again.
But your worries were gone when you saw him flash you a smile while he gave you a nod, holding your necklace in his hand.
As you both walk your separate ways, you're both thinking, "Why the hell, did I make that awkward?"
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Days turned into weeks, and during that whole time, you'd hang out with the beta squad more and more, being in their videos to just movie nights and snacks, which included more time spent with Sharky. He did give back the necklace after a couple days, but from your perspective it looked as if he was busy those couple days.
But in reality, he was debating what day to give it back to you and how. Should it have been a gift he gives you along with the necklace? Or just hand it back to you normally? He did the latter, but it did really mess him up, a flustered mess thinking how he actually had something of yours with him.
Throughout the weeks going by, Sharky invited you to join in his videos, the fans loved you with the beta squad so he thought it would be a great thing to have you on his channel. He said it would be great for your channel too but honestly in his heart, he just craved to spend more time with you.
Every minute with you was precious, every moment and every smile. Hearing your voice, brightened his whole day, yes his heart would race and yes his breathing would be uneven thinking about you. But it didn't matter, none of it mattered as long as he was by your side.
You made everything better, and he knew it, in fact he wished every day would be with you.
He had learned a lot just by hanging out with you for videos or even just football sessions. He loved listening to your voice as you talked about your passions or just random things that came to your mind. He'd often smile as you talked, sometimes not even realising he was staring at your features.
Gazing at you was like daydreaming outside a window, it wasn't much to people on the outside, but to himself, it was something he couldn't stop himself from doing. It was addicting to say the least. You've got him hooked from the start.
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"No. Way. You have to come over right now, spill all the tea."
You let out a laugh, currently you were on a call with your friend, trying to catch up but she realised it wasn't easy to get to know all that's happened through the phone so she arranged for you to meet at her place later today.
She drove to your house, waiting in the driveway as you hurriedly got out of your house, locking the door as you left. And making your way to her car.
The weather wasn't the best, it could've been better but the raindrops hitting against the roof of the car and the floor outside didn't seem that the weather was going to get better anytime soon.
On the way to her place, she started to tell you stuff that's been going on for the past couple of weeks, exciting things and sometimes boring ones, you'd be honest sometimes you could fall asleep to what she says at times.
When you arrived at her house, she got you some warmer clothes and brought you a hot drink. Thanking her as you took a seat on her couch, her following suit.
As soon as she sat down, you knew she was going to ask you what happened in your life so far. Usually, you'd laugh and say nothing much, as she almost basically told her whole life story in the car. But this time, there was something interesting to talk about.
More like… someone.
Explaining the start of when you met Sharky, to the football training, the videos and the hangouts you told her all about the fun, but you also told her about how you couldn't function at times around him.
When you finished telling everything, she put a hand on your shoulder and looked deeply into your eyes, "You're in love, no doubt in my mind."
"Are you joking? In love?" You scoffed, averting your gaze from her to the mug you were holding, sloshing around the liquid inside of it.
"You're so delusional. Can you not see it?" She sighed in exasperation, throwing her head back to lean it against the couch.
"Last time I was in love, it didn't really turn out well." You mumbled an air of melancholy surrounding you as it clouded your features. Placing the cup onto the table as you crossed your arms in front of you and leaning back.
"Hey," She turned to you, nudging you to make you face her, "Your ex was a piece of shit." You let out a small chuckle as she continued. "You didn't ruin anything. He ruined it."
"This Sharky you're talking about clearly isn't like that. From what you're describing to me anyway. And clearly, you like him." She grins, a stupid grin on her face.
"I don't—"
"Look me in the eyes and tell me that again." She cuts you off, glaring and raising one brow at you.
Your mouth snapped shut, pressing into a thin line. She has a point, one that you couldn't argue on, and even if tried, it would make you look stupid.
"C'mon, you can't deny that you didn't like that date." She teased, a knowing smirk lingering on her face as she drank the rest of her coffee.
"What date?" You raised eyebrows surprised, turning to face her.
"You know, where y'all went to a restaurant and then he taught you how to play football after?" She giggled as she saw the look on your face.
You rolled your eyes playfully, shoving her arm slightly, "Stop messing around. We didn't go on a date! It was a friendly hangout. He sees me as a friend for sure."
She gave you a look which said really? Are you kidding me?
"But is that really all he is to you?"
You gulped and thought about it, shifting your gaze to the ground. Your mind suddenly goes back to the past weeks.
When your hand would brush against his, or when his arm would be pushed near yours in a tight space, your heart would race each time without fail, and you'd think about it for days.
Or when he'd speak, his voice warm and calm, like a flowing river, soothing to one's heart. And that's how he made you feel, all warm and fuzzy on the inside, a tingle in your stomach building up.
When you'd happen to look across the room and he was standing there so perfectly, talking about something you couldn't hear with a glimmer in his eyes and the corners of his lips upturned.
And when he'd notice you looking, turning his gaze to your direction and you'd stare into his dark golden eyes, suddenly everything around you would blur out, the voice of someone speaking disappeared, and the sound of your surroundings vanished. And all you'd notice was … Sharky.
"Just date already!" Your friend laughed, cutting you out of your thoughts, shaking your head to focus again.
You would laugh it off, but the truth was that you were scared on the inside. You didn't want it to end up like your last relationship, cold and cut off. But then again, Sharky wasn't your ex. Sharky was a whole different person.
You had promised before that you wouldn't love for a long time, to heal you had said, you roll your eyes at that, you couldn't stay away.
Why? Because here you are catching feelings.
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The talk with your friend really made you think this week, made you think a lot, actually. Maybe you'd try to accept that you've fallen in love, but it's hard when you don't even know if the other person feels the same way.
It's honestly so frustrating, and yet you hate that you love the way he's making you act up like this. It's like a high school girl with a stupid crush.
You don't even know if you've been obvious to him this whole time.
But you had to ignore it, just for today, because right now you were heading to the beta squad house to film a video for Sharky's channel. A general knowledge video is what he mentioned to you.
As you arrived at the house, you were greeted by Niko as he brought you along to the sitting room. Aj, Chunkz, and Sharky were standing there talking to the camera crew.
While you walked in, you caught the eye of Sharky, waving to you as soon as he saw you, of course you waved back, but this time you took more notice of Sharky, specifically the way his eyes lit up as soon as he saw you.
Or maybe it was the way Chunkz elbowed him in the ribs immediately after Sharky waved at you, a knowing smirk on his face as he switched his focus between the both of you.
Niko turned to all of you, reminding you all that the video would start in 10 minutes, "So if you guys need to do anything, now's the time not later."
"Oh! That reminds me we've gotta get the boxes for the challenge upstairs." Sharky added, heading towards the door, but stopping before he reached it, half turning to face you all with a questioning look.
"Anyone gonna help me?"
"We three are a bit busy so," Chunkz stated, Shrugging his shoulders as he put on a cheeky smile. "Y/N can help you with that? Right Y/N?" Chunkz wrapped an arm around your shoulders as he observed his friend's reaction.
You glanced between Chunkz and Sharky, both of them waiting for your answer. You nodded hesitantly before following Sharky upstairs.
There were forfeits to this challenge, most of them being hidden in boxes that you'd have to find out during the recording of the video.
As you both walked towards the room, you hated that your hands started to sweat, and your heart started to race. The silence was deafening to your ears, you wanted to break the silence but what could you say? But you didn't have to worry much as he ended up speaking first.
Sharky cleared his throat as he opened the door, revealing a small room that had a poster covering the walls, some few items scattered around the floor and the stack of boxes, "We don't have to take them all in one go, by the way."
"Obviously not." You giggled, watching as he moved towards the boxes only to stop after hearing your sarcasm.
"Sorry." You groaned, diverting your gaze as you covered half of your face with your hand out of embarrassment.
He rolled his eyes at your response, shaking his head with a small smile.
With your help almost all of the boxes had been brought down in no time, leaving only a couple of things on the bed. You were so focused on actually helping that you hadn’t noticed Sharky walk in whilst you were picking up the cards with the questions on them.
His hand grazed over yours, slightly brushing just the back of your hand, but it was enough to make you freeze and make your heart beat like crazy.
Your mind was all over the place, nervous and flustered. Your gaze darted up and down and all over him, struggling to focus. As you glanced at his face you noticed something different…
He wasn't wearing his usual backwards hat or a durag this time, but just his hair, the way the curls formed faultlessly on top of his head, accentuating the rest of his features. He'd be on the front cover of a modelling magazine, and you could stare at it all day long.
And when he looked at you, oh boy, that's when you knew you were in for it. You can't go back, you've fallen too far ahead now. Those eyes, they hypnotise you, draw you in instantly and it's hard to get out.
"Stop looking at me like that." You half-rolled your eyes, but the corners of your mouth started to curl up against your will.
"Like what?" He chuckled, making your heart skip a beat once again. Genuinely smiling and you could tell he was curious to know what you meant as he leaned just maybe an inch closer than he already was.
When you look at me and it speaks a thousand words when our voices couldn't and when our gaze crosses from a distance, and it fills my heart with comfort.
The way your eyes have that slight crinkle at the corner of them and that makes your face the cutest when you smile and makes my heart skip a beat, all. the. damn. time.
And when those eyes are looking only at me.
"Nevermind," You dismiss him waving a hand, while looking away, missing to see that he frowns, he has that longing behind his eyes to ask what you meant but he knew he shouldn't pry any further, he didn't want to scare you away.
But he had to know. His mind couldn't stop his curious heart, and so he moved without thought, stepping closer towards you and grabbing your waist.
You yelped at the sudden closeness, eyes widening in shock at how close you both were. His face leaning towards yours with longing eyes, his lips slightly upturned at your reaction as your face started burning.
"Tell me." Sharky breathed, his eyes flickering to your lips for a second too long before gazing back into your eyes.
He was too close, too close that you could see all of his features, the small crinkle on the side of his smile, the unrivalled shape of his eyes, making him unique.
And you'd dare say you also saw a small pink dusting his cheeks.
He was too close, too close that you could feel his breath upon your lips, just centimetres away from you.
His lips looked inviting,
craving something from you.
Asking you to complete it, to fill in that emptiness, it so longed for.
Or maybe you were the one that longed for it?
And you watched as it slowly formed into a smile, glancing back up to the eyes of the owner.
You could see that he was inching closer and closer, your heart denying your every wish to stay calm.
Your mind was frightened, scared of the outcome; it was like stepping on glass, afraid to fall into nothingness and yet your heart thrived in it, determined to see through it.
Honestly, you could move, you should move. It was the smart thing to do.
And yet why didn't you move? You could've moved, told him you weren't okay with him being that close.
But you just… couldn't? It was like you were frozen in place, stuck, bound to stay here for eternity.
And so maybe that's why you shut your eyes slowly.
Waiting to accept the invitation.
But the creaking of a door opening made both of you jump and pull away, swiftly turning your heads to see who it was.
Niko raised his eyebrows, glancing back and forth between the two of you, "Am I interrupting something here?" His mouth formed into a thin line as he scratched the back of his neck, silence dawning upon his answer.
Only until a cough came from Sharky, did Niko return back to his normal self, disregarding what he said earlier and advancing towards the middle of the room, lifting a box, "Guys, we're starting the shoot in 3 minutes and you both didn't even bring down one last box?"
Walking to the door before turning to the two of you, "By the way, when I said earlier, if you have something to do, do it now. This is not what I meant." He laughed, bolting downstairs not to see yours or Sharky's reaction.
Sharky rolled his eyes, scoffing as he couldn't help but let a smile sneak on his face, as he placed his hands in his pockets. "We better head back down, I guess."
You nodded, swallowing the nerves as you took the cards back into your hands, walking beside Sharky downstairs, avoiding any contact with him.
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Throughout the whole video, your mind just couldn't focus. Your thoughts going back to earlier, what would have happened if Niko didn't walk in? What would you have done if he didn't? Was Sharky even trying to kiss you and you were just delusional?
Aj kept snapping his fingers in your face every time he noticed you weren't focusing. People who would watch the video would think he's just being his usual Aj self, but in reality, he was worried.
Worried that maybe something happened, and you were going back to not feeling like your usual self.
He hated that time, he hated whenever his friends felt at their worst. He knows because he's felt that same way before, and to feel it multiple times? There's nothing worse.
And so after the video, he went up to you, to see if you were alright. He caught up to you, right as you were about to leave the house, calling out your name.
"Ay Y/N, why you leaving so fast? Are you alright?" Worry surrounded his voice as he placed a hand on your shoulder.
"I'm okay Aje, thanks." You chuckled nervously, "Just uh, tired, yeah..." Scratching the back of your neck as you glanced away.
You hoped he hadn't seen the way you tried to avoid Sharky, or the glances you took during the video, causing your heart to race every second you did.
"Thanks for having me, tell that to the boys alright?" You gave Aj a small smile, patting him on the shoulder as you pointed towards the door with your thumb, indicating you were gonna leave, stepping out the door.
"How are ya gonna get home?" He shouted after you, still at the door, watching as you walked towards the driveway.
Turning around, you pulled out your phone in your pocket showing it to him, "Uh, I'll just call a taxi." You waved at him as you left.
As soon as you turned round the corner, where the eyes of the houses were gone, you took a deep breath, trying to steady it, as you wiped your sweaty hands. You cursed under your breath, How'd one guy get you messed up like this?
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Aj closed the door when you were out of sight, as he turned towards the sitting room where the rest of his friends were. But he stopped in his tracks, a light bulb flickering in his head as he remembered something.
He scoffed as he peered inside the room, showing Sharky, Chunkz and Niko, having a conversation around the table, sitting back with their phones in their hands.
When he turned to head to the kitchen, Aj heard Sharky's voice call out to him as he glanced back and saw Sharky walk up to him.
"What's up Aj?" Sharky asked, darting his gaze around the room, it's as if he was looking for something, "Where's Y/N?"
Aj raised a brow, something clicking in his head, as he eyed the taller man in front of him. He placed his hands in his pockets as he spoke.
"She left." Aj started, squinting his eyes at Sharky as he continued to speak, suspicion drawing in his voice, "But I was just thinking, Sharks, what happened upstairs earlier?"
Sharkys eyes went round for a split second before returning to his normal face, "What do you mean?" He chuckled.
"Don't play stupid, I know you know what I mean." Pointing a finger at him, his voice raising slightly.
Sharky diverted his gaze, staring at the ground as he scratched the back of his neck. He knew what Aj was talking about, but was it what Sharky was thinking?
Aj shook his head and sighed, "I know you like her Sharks, but …" He trailed off, getting the other Somalis' attention as he watched Aj continue.
"I was worried. She wasn't herself today. It reminded me how she acted after her ex, dazed, fake smiles, and all that shit." Aj narrowed his eyes.
Sharky's brows upturned as he listened, something aching his heart. Would it be right to ask what happened? Or would it be overstepping his boundaries if he did?
He shook his head. If it was overstepping, Aj would tell him, and so he spoke, "I don't want to pry too much, but what happened?"
"Her ex was fine at first you know? No one noticed anything off with him, he was great until he started being toxic, then we could see it from a mile away. Man flippin gaslit her into believing that he loved her the whole time." Aj furrowed his brows in annoyance, as he placed his hands on his hips.
Sharky's face was stern, no emotion on it other than in his eyes, flames of anger burning behind them, his brows knitted together.
If looks could kill, his one would have.
How could someone do that to you? Play someone's feelings like it was a game? He hated people like that. He thought it was so disgusting to even think about it. For sure, if he ever sees the guy, he's gonna have a serious talk with him.
"I don't want you breaking her heart. You're a good guy for sure so just stay that way, blud." Aj pulled a smile, looking up at Sharky as he patted his shoulder, going to the kitchen and leaving Sharky with his own thoughts.
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He slowly went over to sit on his bed, still in disbelief. You had to go through all that? And that bastard treated you like that? Proper mad, that guy.
Something in his heart suddenly twisted, an ache, or a pain, he wasn't sure. But he didn't like the feeling, the feeling of someone hurting you? Sharky would never do that to you.
He knew he didn't like you, because he loved you. He loved you so much that it hurt to think of someone hurting you. He wanted to be there for you, always. To let you lean on him when you needed to, and to be there just to see you laugh, to see you smile.
Pulling out his phone and putting on his Frank Ocean playlist, the song "Thinkin' bout you" popped up.
He sighed quietly as he put on his airpods and laid his head on the headboard of his bed, shutting his eyes close as he listened to the song.
"I've been thinking 'bout you"
A song that was your favourite of Frank Ocean.
"Do you think about me still? Do ya, do ya?"
He smiled, remembering you first singing it.
"Or do you not think so far ahead"
"Cause I been thinking bout forever, ooh"
And that's when it hit him, forever is a long time. And he didn't want to just think forever. He wanted to experience things, experience them with you.
But how could he, if he didn't tell you that he loved you?
He wanted you, no, he needed you.
That's why he got up and ran out of his room, grabbing a jacket on the way out as quickly as possible.
That's why he fumbled rushing to get his car keys to drive to your house.
That's why he's getting into his car, not even bothering to put on a seat belt, but focusing on getting out of the driveway to head to you.
And that's why he's running up to your house, knocking at your door, in the middle of the night.
And when the door opens, revealing you, looking up shocked when you see him, that's when he knew he wasn't too late, that he could still tell you.
Sharky is always a prepared guy. He plans out things for everything, and he's normally very organised. But this was hasty, reckless even, for the first time from what he can remember, he's unprepared.
No planning, no nothing, he was just following what his heart desired in this very moment. And in this moment, he desired you.
Rushing to you? Was definitely spontaneous. But how could he complain? He'd change up his life. He'd endure through any hard circumstances if it meant he'd be by your side.
This was why he wanted to let you know, to let you know now before it was too late, before someone tried to take you away from him.
He turned his gaze to the floor, fumbling for the words to say, suddenly his mind was everywhere, words didn't exist, only feelings at this point.
But he tried, calming his heart down as he shifted his gaze back to you, taking a deep breath in to say something, anything to you.
Sharky rushed to speak, "Y/N, I'm never this impulsive, I think things through, I … I … I'm organised, I plan it all out but…" His brows drew together, sighing in exasperation.
"Agh, I can't stop thinking about you. You're making me act all different, I can't focus anymore." He rubbed his temple, trying to calm his voice, to speak clearer.
"My heart races everytime I think about you, my palms start to sweat and my brain just can't focus. Everytime I close my eyes at night your face shows up and I can't sleep."
His eyes were darting everywhere but you at this point, "Every song I listen to suddenly reminds me of you and I can't get you out of my head."
"And every. damn. glance. I take is because I can't take my eyes off you, you really steal the spotlight when you're in the same room as me. I can't concentrate."
"You honestly looked so perfect when we were filming the video earlier and before upstairs… I'm sorry. I couldn't control myself. The urge to kiss you was killing me, and if Niko didn't walk in, I would have kissed you without thinking properly."
He realised he hadn't looked at you the whole time he talked because he was afraid, afraid of what your reaction would be, afraid maybe you wouldn't have felt the same way as him.
Maybe he read the signs wrong? Maybe you didn't love him back as he did with you?
But the thing was when he did look at you, you were in shock, you stood there wide-eyed, frozen in place at his confession. You couldn't say anything, you wanted to, but nothing was coming out.
He thought he was done for, that you didn't feel the same way until he saw the bright red flush creep upon your cheeks. Your gaze softening at the Somali in front of you.
He took a deep breath, inhaling as much air physically possible because right now he felt like he couldn't breathe either. You were just there in front of him, barely even an arms reach away from him. And the urge to envelop you in his arms was too strong.
"I will treat you right, the way you should be treated. I would never do anything to harm you or hurt you. And it's because I love you. I truly love you. Please…"
This was the minimum he could do for now, Taking your hands in his soft ones, moving your gaze to his soft sienna eyes.
He knows he shouldn't be doing this right here. But he couldn't help it.
It was now or never, to think he would lose you was one mistake he never wants to make, not later, not now.
But if the pain of not having you in his heart was stronger than in his head where his logical thinking was, just for once, just one time in his life he could ignore it.
He would do anything.
Anything for you.
So he spoke, words coming out of his loving heart rather than his mind, his brain allowed his heart to speak just this once, to know, truly know what you feel.
"Let me love you."
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Taglist: @b4tasquad @p3drii @n1kodl @elora-k @slutforpablogavi @enhacolor @amwife @distantfromu
Mutuals Taglist: @b4tasquad @p3drii @vctrvn-ls @allygatcr @slutforpablogavi @kennysboxergf @n1kodl @amwife @heartsforaj
Taglist for this fic: @vctrvn-ls @allygatcr @kennysboxergf @lunasmindinwriting @heartsbyvalentina @heartsforaj @elyse3s @leanamaybank
I'm sorry if anyone else wanted to be on the taglist here. Send me an ask, and I'll add you! Currently cannot think rn of who I have to add-
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jihyoruri · 10 months
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BEST FRIENDS — idol!sakura miyawaki x idol!reader
warnings: yn and sakura from heart racing, gidle!reader, kissing, mentions of caught in between
sakura pressed a soft kiss to the younger girls lips, pulling her closer to her as she cupped both of on either side of her face.
yn smiled into the kiss, kissing her the back, she placed her hand softly on sakura’s neck pulling her closer if that was possible.
the soft music coming from yn’s vinyl fills the room as they kiss, but yn comes to a stop when she hears familiar voices fill her apartment, she forgot she gave them a spare key.
“sakura.” she whispers, the older girl only responding with a hum as she pressed a kiss on yn’s cheek, “I think my members are here, didn’t you hear them?”
skaura girl pulls away immediately, “how?”
“I gave them a key duh.” yn says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, “and they don’t know about you, they’re sorta protective.” yn looks down nervously at the last part, it was true they were protective, you should’ve seen her member’s reaction when the video with youngji came out.
“yn,” yuqi’s voice fills the apartment and she hears the multiple footsteps coming towards her door, “why is your door closed?”
yn shoots backwards on her bed and pushes sakura onto her back when her door opens, cursing herself for not locking it but why should she? it’s her house.
the door opens and revels an interesting scene to yuqi, minnie and shuhua’s eyes, their youngest member sitting on her bed looking at them awkwardly and the oldest member of lesserafim laying on yn’s bed with her elbows propping her up.
“did we interrupt something?” minnie asks taking a hesitant look at yuqi’s narrowed eyes and shuhua who has her hand over her mouth.
“no.” “yes.”, sakura and yn say at the same time, yn shooting sakura a glare.
shuhua let’s out a laugh and minnie slaps her arm, “I told you guys those shoe’s at the front weren’t yn’s.” but her teasing comes deaf to ears as yuqi shoots yn a suspicious look.
“what is she doing here?” she asks pointing at sakura.
yn laughs awkwardly getting up from her bed, “you know…” she drags out, “just hanging… with the bestie…” sakura cringes at the younger girl as yn walks over to her and gives her a high five, “you know, since friends hang out at each other’s house, totally normal.” yn continues making things completely worse, sakura just shakes her head disappointedly pulling yn’s arm so the girl and sit beside her.
“yeah, cause best friends lips always end up swollen when they…” yuqi trails off and brings her hand up to make quotation marks, “hang..”
both yn and sakura’s faces heat up in embarrassment as minnie pushes yuqi softly, “let the kids have fun.” she says gesturing towards yn and skaura.
“I’m just a year younger and older than yo-” skaura starts looking between yuqi and minnie but cuts herself off when minnie shoots her a glare that says “I’m trying to help you out here.”
“yeah.” shuhua agrees finally letting out a loud laugh, “do you even wanna know what they were doing in here?” she says teasingly laughing more at yuqi’s and now minnie’s disgusted faces.
“don’t eve-” yuqi raises her hand to shuhua’s mouth, “you know what I’m out of here, see you later yn and we’re talking about this later.” she says before walking out the door way, shuhua following quickly behind her to continue her teasing.
minnie starts to walk out the door way, but pauses and shoots yn and sakura a teasing look, “you two are cute.” she says before closing the door.
when yn hears her front door close she lets out an embarrassed sigh, flopping backwards onto sakura’s lap she mumbles out, “I’m sorry about them, they’re so embarrassing sometimes.”
sakura just laughs dismissively placing a kiss on yn’s forehead, “don’t worry about it.”
“maybe we should hand out at your dorm for now on.” yn jokes, “so we don’t have to deal with my members breaking in.”
“If you’re okay with witnessing a horrible love triangle and eunchae and kazuha asking you for your autograph.” she laughs before pulling yn closer on her lap, “but I think your house is a better choice, it’s comfy.”
“you should sleepover then.”
“yeah?”
“yeah.”
591 notes · View notes
sheisjoeschateau · 4 months
Text
"Oh, so we DO love Steve..." | PART II
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ALRIGHT, SECOND PART IS OUT. NOT WAITING. hope u like :)
⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ SERIES MASTERLIST ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆
Steve Harrington x Bauman!fem!reader || enemies to lovers trope.
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION FOR MY WORK TO BE COPIED AND/OR REPOSTED ON HERE OR ANY OTHER PLATFORM, OR PUT INTO ANY AI PROGRAMS. THIS IS AN 18+ BLOG, MDNI.
An original fanfiction series, written by Misha St. James.
This isn't your first time meeting Steve Harrington.
You know him. And he knows you. Well, maybe. Who knows. You both run in completely different circles in high school.
While there's some very obvious tension amongst the love triangle (Nancy-Steve-Jonathan) you take a second to look over at the group of kids behind King Steve. There's a curly-haired kid wearing a cap, another kid sporting a bandana, and a redheaded girl. They give you sort of awkward waves, which you return with a tight-lipped grin.
"Sorry," Jonathan's suddenly saying. "Uh, you guys, this is umm -"
"Bauman," you interject. "Just...call me Bauman."
Steve is now looking at you, realizing. Recognizing. "Hey," he says. "Wait, aren't you in Click's class?"
You press your lips into a thin line, trying not to be totally off-put by him. And in truth, you weren't really. Steve had seemed less... douchey, since he started dating Nancy. You were grateful for that. No matter how doomed their relationship was, it seemed to help him get rid of his trash friends. God, Tommy H. and Carol and that Nicole girl were just toxic.
"Yeah," you said, reaching out a hand. "Nice to officially meet you."
Steve shook your hand, a bit sheepish. And still distracted with the fact that his girlfriend had shown up with Byers. Why was she with Byers? You felt yourself internally cringing, seeing how oblivious yet aware he was. It actually made you feel bad.
"I'm Dustin!"
You suddenly looked in the direction of a toothy-grinned kid smiling at you, and you couldn't help but grin back. "Hey, Dustin."
Lucas and Max introduced themselves, too. But then, you all heard sound coming from off in the distance. The lab.
So yeah, things took a pretty sharp turn from there. It's all kind of a blur, if you're being honest. Everyone began talking over each other, eventually gathering info as to exactly who you are and why you were here (at least the general just of it). They learned about Murray Bauman, and Steve's face just became more perplexed, the more that Nancy and Jonathan revealed what they had learned...together.
...yikes.
But the kids were also asking you a million questions, very curious about you. Max found you funny, finding you to have more cool-girl energy than Nancy, who just seemed too polished for her to know how to communicate with her.
Eventually, Nancy noticed the power back on at the lab and you all took off in that direction. Steve was arguing a lot with the kid named Dustin. Very brotherly. Low-key motherly. The toll gate wouldn't open, then suddenly it did open, and then next thing you know a car is racing towards you from the lab and it's got Jim Hopper at the steering wheel? He's throwing the door open, demanding all of you to get in.
As you all drive, you end up near the front of the car, squished between Steve and Dustin.
"Bauman."
You look over at Jim, surprised. But he's looking at you in the rearview with all-knowing eyes. "You're Murray's niece."
You nod. "Yeah. Jim Hopper, right?"
Jim reaches back to pat your knee, eyes on the road and still shaken up from whatever the hell they just escaped. "M'sorry, kid. Your uncle's been getting shit from me. I know he sent you. M'really sorry. I'll make it right with him after all this, alright? Promise."
You just nod, knowing there's really no time for any of that right now. Since you got in the car, you haven't even had time to notice how there is a woman (clearly Joyce Byers) in pure distress, along with another kid in tow and the limp body of another child that she's holding. Jonathan is reaching for him, riddled with worry. Is that Will?
Once you all make it back to the Byers residence, it's tense. Really fucking tense. Jonathan is knelt in front of the couch, voicing his regrets out loud as he stares at his brother's limp form. Nancy stands behind him, placing a hand on his shoulder. You're on the opposite side of the room, leaned against the wall.
Which is why you notice that behind Hopper, who's yelling into the wall phone, Steve. He looks...devastated. Hurt. Heartbroken.
...fuck, he looks heartbroken.
He walks past you, pinching his nose and sniffing once. He looks like he's really fighting off some emotion, escaping to another room. It makes you think about everything that went down at your uncle's bunker, and how maybe it was funny there...but it isn't here. Not now, seeing that this guy actually has some intense feeling for Nancy Wheeler. Intense love for her. Real love.
...but Nancy doesn't feel that same intense love for him.
...oh god, that's messy.
But all hell is breaking loose before you can linger on that for much longer. Suddenly, you're all devising a plan. It has something to do with dungeons and dragons, and Will being possessed, and getting him in a room that whatever monster is inside of him won't recognize. The you're all deciphering Morse Code, and it's a whirlwind from there.
And then you're all holding weapons, bracing fore an attack...when some young girl walks in. Who you come to learn is the infamous Eleven. Her hair grew back, and she looks ready to join a punk band.
Pretty bitchin' look, you gotta admit.
The kids introduce her to you, and she gives you a shy smile. Then you're all splitting up into groups, and you catch a brief exchange between Nancy and Steve. He's saying something to her about going with Jonathan, and it makes you tense for Nancy. You can't even imagine how she must feel, knowing that he sees it.
And honestly, the way that Steve talks is...so not King Steve. It's uncharacteristically mature. Secure, and assuring. Not that of the teen heartthrob and bad boy you've been going to school with. And when Nancy does go off with Jonathan, you see Harrington's heart shatter into a million pieces with just the look in his eyes.
You feel bad. You suddenly feel really bad.
But also, he had to have seen this coming. Right? Jonathan Byers was a good, decent guy, who'd been there for Nancy all throughout the hell of last year. Steve had come around, finally. But by then, the trauma bond between Byers and Wheeler was irreversible. There's no changing that.
But damn, unrequited love sucks.
You knew was rejection felt like, and you wouldn't wish it on anyone. Not even your worst enemy.
Out of guilt, you make some conversation with Steve. Given it's just the two of you with the kids left at the house, needing to wait things out, you both easily make conversation. It's a bit awkward at first, but oddly it finds flow pretty easily. Steve's still got his charm, although it's a little more grounded than before. It isn't forced, or laced with popular-kid attitude. That's refreshing.
As you both end up listening to the kids like the only two parental figures around, then end up having to fight off that psycho new kid at school named Billy Hargrove (who's actually Max's stepbrother?!) and patch up Steve's very beaten and battered face which somehow still looks pretty, annnnd wind up in a tunnel full of creatures (demo dogs? is that what Dustin called them?), then somehow survive all of that shit... you and Steve become pretty bonded, pretty quickly.
And when the worst of it is seemingly over, you end up helping Eleven get ready for the Snowball -- dropping her off with Hopper. He's grateful for your help, and after making amends with your uncle you two have gotten to know each other well, too. He likes you, appreciating your mature sense of self.
Joyce adores you already, being the kind-natured and loving mama-bear that she is.
And El? Well, she loves you. You're like a cool older sister figure of sorts.
You and Steve run into each other when dropping off the kiddos at the Snowball, making conversation about how crazy everything was. You talk about other things, too. Just mundane things, bouncing off each other well. But when Steve notices Nancy inside, he gets that sad puppy-dog look in his eyes again. Then, Jonathan's coming out of the dance with a camera. He clearly was the designated photographer for the night.
And he clearly has captured Nancy Wheeler's heart.
One night, after Jonathan and Nancy have started going steady and you're all on summer break, you're all over at the Henderson's house watching the kids. The adults are there, too, since Mrs. Henderson is out working overnight. Murray is pouring up drinks for the adults and teens, much to Joyce's disapproval. But he just goes about his business, clinking glasses. Hopper honestly looks like he could really use a fucking drink. Or 5.
You, Steve, Nancy and Jonathan all toast, happily. Chatting. Laughing. Making light of things.
...but that ends up being pretty short-lived.
Before you know it, you're in the kitchen helping clean up while Joyce gets the kids in bed and Hopper is on the couch slurring with your uncle. Steve had offered to help you, but Dustin insisted that he come see something in his room before they all went to bed. Nancy has left with Mike and Max, while Lucas is staying the night.
Welp. Jonathan walks in, drunk, telling you thank you.
It's sloppy, and it would be funny except for the fact that he is talking so fucking loud. He's just thanking you, and then Murray, over and over -- "...for meddling with'm love life because now, I'm dating th'most beautifurrrl girl in Hawkins. N'if'it weren't for y'two...I'd still'b pining o'r h-her."
...annnnd then he’s blabbering on about how you let him and Nancy take the bed. “Well’lmost… ha, w-we ended urp…takin’th…couch. Whischhh…you tol’us you’w’d…toHaLLy tAkE’stead.” Then he’s snickering, drunkenly. “Cuz’you toooootally wanted us to doooo itttt. Schhhhhhayin that — m’not the safe one. That’m — I’m the one’th Nannnncy l-loves. Not…S-Steve…”
You just chuckle nervously, giving him a pat on the shoulder. And you just keep washing the dishes when he gives you a tight hug from behind, stumbling a bit and making you almost drop and break one of Mrs. Henderson's very cute plates.
Right on cue, Steve rounds the corner, having heard it.
All of it.
And now that Steve has gotten wind of the fact you played a huge role — along with Murray — on why Nancy left him, he is totally pissed.
In fact, he’s livid. 
"Steve," you try, but he just holds up a hand, staring daggers at you.
"Save it, Bauman," he grits. "Save. It."
It causes him to have the utmost disdain towards you, border lining hate. It just festers over time, getting worse.
Something about that makes your stomach flip inside out with a horrible, upset feeling. Your guts feel knotted up, and if the reality of things weren't so bleak, you would laugh at the fact that losing Steve Harrington's friendship (let alone trust) would upset you one day, let alone even happen. You feel bad. You really do. But God, as time goes on... his entire attitude about it is insufferable. He isn't letting up any time soon. Not when you both meet up with the kids (because regardless of the strain between you two, you're both the parents now). It feels like two divorced parents, meeting up to share custody of the chitlins.
The only relationship to which Steve is committed, is the one that he shares with Miss Hatred. And you're her bitch.
...guess there's still some King Steve in him after all.
You knew King Steve. He was an ass. So you know what? Suck it, Harrington. Karma’s a bitch.
As time passes, you begin firing back at him - tired of trying to explain yourself, apologize or play nice. Steve wants to fucking play? Alright then. Game on, Harrington.
There's a whole upside down universe threatening to take over still? All good. Let's still brawl, Harrington.
The kids keep bringing you both around each other, and you're also working at a place inside of the same damn mall as Steve is for the summer? AWESOME.
LET'S GET READY TO FUCKIN RUMBLE.
So yeah, you’re totally involved in the whole mall ordeal with the Russians, bonding you to Steve and Robin, along with Dustin and Erica.
But despite that, Steve still resents you. So there is still rivalry between the two of you.  Hot and bothered. 
That said, despite his pure disdain towards you...it doesn't change the fact that you actually do begin to see him for the much better human that he is becoming. King Steve has fallen. No doubt. You see that. The way that he loves and cares the kids, especially Dustin. And the way that Steve reacts whenever Robin comes out to you both? He's an angel. Hell, he even fought the soldiers off of you whenever they decided to make you their torture-chamber play-thing. He definitely got mad at them for that one, but he also got mad at you for not going with Dustin and Erica before all of that went down. You both nearly strangled each other when attempting to hold the door shut, yelling at each other to run. Robin had finally joined you both, but still - neither of you budged.
Steve was a good guy. A nice guy, even. Just not to you, unless the moment called for him to be. Which was fine.
…but he’s still annoying. And apparently, he can hold a fucking grudge like no other. He’s a world class champ at that, come to find out. Gold star.
You're onboarded to help Hopper, Murray and Joyce with shutting the gate. It's a no-brainer. Steve looks a little miffed, seeing how the adults trust you like one of them rather than him. Even the way that Jonathan is so cool around you, and Nancy seems shy around you, it just...irks him.
When you manage to help Joyce close the gate, you witness the death of Hopper. And it kills you, along with your uncle. You ache for Joyce, unable to fathom how you'll have to bring it up to El.
But hey, you all manage to destroy the Mind Flayer. And when Billy is killed in the process, you tend to Max like a true older sister. She and Eleven have both come to look up to you as such, and Steve won't deny the fact that you're a saint with these kids. A real fucking saint. And if he's being honest...he's relieved to have a co-parenting partner.
But that is the extent of his gratitude towards you, which is strictly circumstantial. You make things convenient sometimes.
Hopper dying hits all of you hard. And you do everything that you can to help your uncle not drink himself to death. It's the only reason that you don't regularly visit the Wheelers in California. Your uncle is a wreck. Hopper was the only man who truly felt like a friend to your very lonely (by choice) Uncle Murray.
Steve does single you out to ask how you're doing, knowing that witnessing Hopper's death was tragic. But you just tell him that the real concern is your uncle and Joyce, insisting that you will get by. Steve seems hesitant at first, knowing that you're not fine. He might hate you, but he still cares about a party member who got put through hell.
"I'm alive, Steve. So I need to carry on. For everyone's sakes. I'll be alright."
As time goes on...
You and Steve give Robin very conflicting love advice, when it comes to her crush on Vikki.
"VIKKI LIKES BOOBIES."
"Christ, Steve," you're groaning in the backseat. "Stop being such a damn teenage boy."
"I'm almost 20, Bauman," he scowls at you in the rearview mirror.
You make a face, exaggerating feigned apology. "'Scuuuuuse me."
Man, he could not hate you more. Steve is sure of that. You are the worst. Why are you here. You are just the worst. Every time he looks at you, all he sees is Murray Bauman but as a much hotter 19-year-old girl with way more better comebacks and select timing.
AND NO, THAT IS NOT A COMPLIMENT.
!!!!!!!!
Next thing you know, Chrissy Cunningham has been found dead in a trailer that belongs to Eddie ‘The Freak’ Munson. Who, according to Dustin, is not only still in high school — he’s also friends with them? Yikes. But Dustin swears that he’s not a murderer.
You choose to believe Dustin. Much to Steve’s chagrin. In his mind, any chance that you get to disagree with him, you will gladly fucking take it. He is really committed to you being his enemy.
And you know what? Fine. You can play. You've been playing.
Eventually, Nancy comes back into the picture.
And honestly? Watching her be all into Steve again? As if she isn't in a relationship with Jonathan still? That pisses you off.
Not because you’re jealous. No, no. Not that.
…yeah no, it’s not that.
Nah, it’s the way this girl just cannot for the life of her figure out what she is feeling. Dear lord, woman. Pick.
Eventually, you comment on this. But not until Eddie Munson is suddenly roped into y’all’s crew and you both strangely hit it off. You share the same taste in music. You both compare concert history, listing off you're favorites and randomly bursting into song. Very scream-o, metal music. Eddie thinks you're the shit, and you make him laugh a lot. He also makes you laugh a lot.
Steve hates that.  He really, really hates that.
But not because he is jealous. No, no. It’s not that.
…yeah, it’s definitely not that.
Nah, it’s the way you make friends with someone he isn't a fan of just to spite him. You know he doesn’t like Eddie. You know he feels replaced by Dustin for him. You’re doing this shit on purpose. He knows it. He just knows it.
Regardless, you both stand by each other throughout the whole Vecna ordeal. And Max?  She loves you. Trusts you. A lot. You also tell her not to give Steve so much shit. So he’ll give you that.
But that’s all he’s gonna give you. And even that has its limits.
Whenever you all find out that Max is cursed, the first person that Steve finds himself looking at is you. Because you're the co-parent. You've gotta help him know what to do. You feel the exact same way.
You both witness her possession in he graveyard. You both help calm the kids down, and each other. Whenever Max writes letters to each of you, she looks at both you and Steve for a long time. A really long time. It's very uncomfortable.
...then she's finally handing you both a letter, and the look she shoots you both afterwards in really unsettling. Like she knows something.
But what the hell is there to know? That you both can't stand each other? NEWSFLASH: EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT. So joke's on them.
...not Max though. She's in trouble. So she's allowed to know whatever the hell...that she...knows...?
You and Steve both profusely disagree with everyone about the idea of Max becoming the bait. In fact, it's the first time that you both are defending each other to everyone else. Whenever Max argues Steve, you tell her to listen.
"Steve has every right to be worried right now. We all do, Max."
She sighs, knowing that you're right.
And whenever Dustin tries to get quippy with you about stuff, Steve shuts him down real fast.
"Hey. Not cool. Bauman's in the right, check yourself."
Dustin also sighs, knowing that he's right.
Because you both know these kids better than anyone. You helped Mike ease up on Hopper, becoming that one older-sister figure he can actually go to and be normal around. Hell, he even hugs you. Mike never hugs anyone, except El. And Lucas? You and Steve are at every single one of his games, like proud parents. Will calls you whenever he wants to paint, knowing that you enjoy art. You've spent many nights painting with him, and even Steve will join with the other kids. They mostly just finger paint and bicker, but it's still lovely in its own sort of way. And then there's Dustin. The golden child, who both of you wanna hug and strangle at the same time. He is forever putting the two of you in close proximity, secretly loving the tension between the two of you. He figures that it's just because you both wanna be the favorite parent, and Dustin is too fixated on why Steve hasn't started dating Robin to even remotely suspect that you two could be an item.
There's a plan in motion now. It's in full swing, all groups peeling off. There's a new species added to the fucked up realm (the newly coined named for them is demo-bats) and you've somehow saved Steve's ass for the 3rd time. This guy seriously cannot catch a break.
But now, Eddie’s suddenly encouraging Steve to go after Nancy again. And damn, that bugs you.  It really motherfuckin’ gets under your skin. Because Eddie doesn’t know the full story about what went down between them. Not even close.
You can't help yourself. You tell Steve this, once Eddie walks up ahead. But of course, Steve is rebuking everything that you are saying.
And then he's telling you that Nancy is different, and -- “actually, things are better.” 
But you scoff at that, incredulously. And you're telling him to "wake up and realize that 1) she’s still with lover-boy Byers, and 2) you shouldn’t pine after someone who chose someone else over you."
You mean to say it kindly. Honestly, you try to.
But Steve doesn’t think so.  And he’s faster. He’s also cruel.
“Maybe that’s why you broke us up, huh?" Steve is firing back at you with all that he's got now. "Because you’re used to that. Being the second choice. Weren’t you Clark’s best friend? Didn’t he drag you along until he ended up picking Becky? Yeah. Thought I didn’t know that, right? Or how you hung out with some of the basketball guys and never once got asked out by any of them? God, it’s so obvious. Also, it’s pathetic. You clearly hate seeing anyone happy. So hey, guess what? You got your wish: successfully ruining someone else’s happiness. Bingo! Congratulations, you won.”
It hurts. It really does. It fucking hurts.
Still, you do try to reason with him. It’s a little harsh, you’ll admit it. You’re not exactly speaking to him sweetly. But you try.
“All my personal love life issues aside —" you start, bringing your voice down and speaking as level as possible. "...which honestly, I’ve never even had something worth labeling as love — Steve, YOU still deserve to —”
“To suffer,” he cuts you off. “Yeah. I know. And the fact you’ve not had love? That just further proves my point. You admit it and yet you’re still out to get me. Because you’re fucking miserable.”
Alright, you’ve had it.
“I’m miserable?” you ask, ready to fire back. “Steve. You’re the one letting your ex-girlfriend — who didn’t even properly dump you — toy with your brain again into actually thinking she’s gonna pick you this time. She doesn’t deserve that. And you certainly don’t deserve —”
“You deserve nothing.” Steve is seething. Then hissing at you, “You’re bullshit, Bauman. You and your whack job Uncle. You’re both bullshit.”
So you stop. You let it go.
You let Steve Harrington hate you and suffer his own misfortunes. And you pretend that what he said didn’t just shatter your soul into a million tiny pieces.  You nod at him, swallowing hard.
“My uncle is twice the man you’ll ever be. King Steve.”  
It’s a pathetic last attempt. And your voice feels small, tight. But standing up for your uncle is better than yourself at this point. You walk off, away from him.
And Steve doesn’t tell you to stop. He doesn’t tell you not to walk away. He lets you.
So he doesn’t see you cry alone inside of the upside down version of the Wheelers’ bathroom.  He doesn’t see your heart break in two, and he doesn’t see you bite back the sobs sinking your teeth into your palms.
263 notes · View notes
braxlrose · 11 months
Text
being in a love triangle with bill and tom
bill x f!reader x tom
a/n: i know bill and tom have said before that they don't let a girl come between them and if they like the same girl they let the girl choose who she wants, but let's pretend there's a little more to it.
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• their love languages are very different when it comes to trying to "woo" you.
• you met tom and bill at different places. you met tom at a club and bill at a record store. you hadn't even realized they were twins since it was pretty dark in the club and tom and bill have different voices so you had no idea until they both talked about you and realized they met the same girl 💀
• tom is much more dominant than bill and way more out-there with his feelings for you. tom doesn't like to be submissive in relationships and bill himself has even said that tom is more aggressive in relationships (not like abusive though 💀)
• bill isn't exactly the opposite but he's a lot less dominant than tom. he really likes it when women take the lead or are even challenging rather than easy. i feel like bill would really like girls like kat stratford.
• when you first met tom, you were dancing in a club with a drink in your hand when he came up behind you and slipped his hands around your waist. you looked back at him with a smile on your face, obviously drunk.
• you turned your head back around and continued to dance with him.
• "im not sleeping with you before a date, i hope you know that!" you said to him, laughing your ass off and he just nodded his head.
• "really?!" he yelled, "you look the type!" he said, slurring his words and laughing at your offended face.
• "hey!" you slapped his arm, still dancing, "was that your bad attempt at telling me a look like a prositute?" you laughed again, leaning back on his shoulder.
• "maybe." he giggled, staring into your eyes.
• a little while after that he figured you were pretty drunk and he should take you home.
• he asked you where you lived and you told him you were staying at a hotel. you guys couldn't get an Uber so you ended up just walking back with him.
• you starting rambling about dumb, drunk shit like your future and things you wanna do before you die, and tom was totally infatuated with you. he had met other girls before, but you just seemed so much cooler.
• you guys ended up sitting on some old swings at a playground and just talking about life for hours until he finally brought you back to your hotel room
• when you had first met bill, you were at a record store looking through the records and cds. you already had a stack of cds on the counter when bill came up to you.
• "I like nena too!" he said with a smile, coming up behind you.
• "hmm?" you whipped your head around to see him, your eyes widening at his height and not even registering what he said at first.
• "oh, nena!" you turned you head to the stack of cds, one of nenas cds was on top. "yeah, I love her. her music is totally inspirational."
• bill just smiled at you and pointed to you cds "may i?" you nodded your head as he picked up the cds and looked through them. you continued to look through records and talked about all kinds of music.
• he grabbed your hand and brought you over to the otherside of the store. he grabbed a tokio hotel cd and put it in the cd player and put headphones over your ears. "ya' like?" he asked as your wrinkled your eyebrows.
• "huh?!" you said loudly, causing him to laugh and take off the headphones.
• "i said, do you like it?" he said giggling, as you nodded. he continued to tell you it was his band and you guys listened to a bunch of other music.
• "im bill, by the way." he said to you, as you guys walked out of the store and began to walk back to your hotel.
• "y/n."
• he gave you his number once you were back at your hotel and you jumped on the bed, smiling to yourself.
• once bill and tom got home they started talking about you a lot, and soon realized they were talking about the same girl. this wasn't really a surprise to them since they have crushed on the same girl in the past.
• "well. i think i should date her because I met her first, okay?" said tom and bill just sat there like.
• "yeah, yeah we could do that...orrrr i date her. because it's pretty obvious she's more into me."
• now this didn't start a fight between them, but they decided they would do a bunch of stuff and see which one you liked better.
• you weren't an awful person though. you made sure to tell both of them that you were sort of seeing another guy and they were like "oh, it's no problem!"
• tom brought you out to a super fancy restaurant, because he was all like "girls like that stuff." and I mean it was a super fancy restaurant and he told you to order whatever you wanted because he'd be paying for it. but right after you two had finished eating he brought you home and you two ended up making out for a little while.
• he was super proud of himself, and was like 99% sure that he had won you over. that was until he found out bill took you ice skating and said that you two had tons of fun.
• bill had remembered you had mentioned that you had never gone ice skating before so that's why he took you. he held your hands the entire time and you were practically gripping onto his body so you didn't fall over. you were super fucking scared.
• but you ended up getting the hang of it and having so much fun with him. bill didn't kiss you though, and when you asked him why, he said he wanted to take things slow with you because he really liked you. that honestly would've been enough to win me over #lowstandards
• after that, tom brought you to this place where you could taste different kinds of hot chocolate from different countries. you loved chocolate so you had the best time with him.
• but then bill took you to a petting zoo. usually those are for kids but you literally had so much fun petting all of the different kinds of animals.
• tom took you out to a party and you guys danced a lot, and ended up having sex in one of the empty rooms.
• at your next date with bill, you told him you had sex with the other guy. you were really confused on why he didn't care, but you didnt question it. bill had taken you dancing that night and that was the night you two finally kissed. it was warm and magical.
• on the next date with Tom, he brought you to a carnival and he won a giant panda for you. and he bought you whatever you wanted. you two had tons of cotton candy and ended up kissing at the top of the ferris wheel 🥺. you didn't really think of Tom as that kind of guy, but the more you got to know him, the sweeter he got.
• you were at a point, where you weren't sure who to choose, you liked them both so much and you didn't want to hurt either one of them.
if you chose tom:
• if you chose tom, he was so fucking happy. he picked you up and spun you around. he liked you so much and you liked him so much and he was really happy you chose him. obviously, he made sure that didn't get in between him and bill.
• he continued to take you out to restaurants and kiss you backstage at concerts. he would invite you over to his hotel room to have sex, but you would also hang out afterwards. he'd wrap his arms around you and smother you in kisses.
• he cooked with you all the time and loved that you would teach him how to cook new things.
• he would play guitar for you and bring you to parties to show you off.
• but you guys dated for only a couple months before going your separate ways.
if you chose bill:
• if you chose bill, he kissed you so passionately, it made your head spin. you wrapped your hands around his neck and pulled him in as close at you two could possibly be. that was the first time you two had sex. it was beautiful, and sexy and intimate and he couldn't stop saying how happy he was that you chose him.
• for dates, he would bring you to all sorts of places. but his favorite was this old little café and he would order a bunch of pastries for you, even if you couldn't eat all of them.
• bill would make picnics for you at night, and you guys would fall asleep looking at the stars.
• he would sing to you all the time and sing you to sleep whenever you couldnt fall asleep. and show you new songs he wrote.
• giving eachother massages all the time
• he loves it when you come back stage before a concert to wish him good luck
• bill dates to marry. so you too either broke up after 2 years of dating, or got married.
taglist: @hearts4kaulitz @burntb4bydoll @spelaelamela @bored0writer @fishinaband @billsleftnutt @tokiiohot @bluepoptartwithsprinkles @saumspam @5hyslv7 @killed-kiss @memog1rl @80s-tingz @billybabeskaulitz
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reidslovely · 7 months
Text
If Your Love is in Trouble (Part One)
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"If you're asking yourself, "How do you know?" Then that's your answer" Lana Del Rey, Margaret
Playlist here.
Authors Note: Yes, I am starting another series. Maybe I'll actually finish this one. This was born after playing Spider-Man 2, and I have no explanation for it, I just really wanted an excuse to write this. I know many people aren't into love triangles and that's cool. I still hope you guys read and enjoy because it will predominantly be Peter/Reader.
Pairing: Peter Parker x Fem!Reader x Harry Osborn
Content Warning: Slight mentions of suicidal ideation, couple swear words, pretty tame for the most part right now. Few mentions of a old hair color reader had.
Please reblog, and throw a comment in if you'd like!
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“I can’t believe he’s really gone.” Peter muttered as he sat crisscrossed on the pillows scattered on his bedroom floor turning his best friend's game boy over in his hands. (Y/N) frowned at her friend, her cheeks stained red and swollen from crying, the insides of her cheeks sore from being bitten. 
“I know..it’s not fair.”
 She rested her head on Peter’s shoulder, her arms wrapping around his torso. 
“Norman is fucking evil.” Peter mumbled out, a glance at his open door making sure May didn’t hear the swear fall from his lips. “..and a terrible father, he never deserved to have Harry. But that didn’t mean he had to ship him off. He could have lived here, May and Ben would have taken him in. That’s like their whole thing!” 
(Y/N) listened, she knew the hurt Peter was feeling, but she also knew he knew how Harry was feeling. The three of them had been inseparable since they were six, did everything together and went everywhere. But now Harry has gone to some fancy boarding school in the English countryside, not knowing when they’d ever see him again. 
“We still have each other.” 
Peter laughed sadly, his hand engulfing hers a childlike smile on his face the blue color on his braces catching her eye. “Yeah. And I’m not letting you go anywhere.” Peter wrapped his arm around her neck, pulling her down ruffling her hair. (Y/N) screamed out, thrashing around laughing, trying to fight Peter off. 
“Okay you two, okay. Dinner is ready c’mon.” Ben says from Peter’s doorway looking at the middle schoolers. Peter let go of the girl, holding his hand out for her to take helping her up. Ben stood back as the two bursted out of the door, racing one another down the stairs into the warmth of the kitchen. The smell of May’s cooking filling the homey kitchen, a news anchor talking excitedly on the small TV on the counter. 
Though the kitchen hadn’t changed in those seven years it was no longer warm, it no longer felt like a second home. The same new anchor talked on the TV, his voice no longer excited but now aged and filled with professionalism. (Y/N) looked around the once familiar area, now feeling like a vampire who’d crossed the threshold uninvited. But she had been invited, May stood in front of her two mismatching coffee cups in hand. 
“Take off your coat for a while.” 
She coaxed, motioning at the spring jacket on her shoulders. (Y/N) smiled at May’s motherly nature, she hadn’t changed a bit since the last time she’d seen her. Her head had a few more grays on it, and she was wearing her reading glasses more but other than physical she was the same old May. 
“I’m so glad I caught you walking, I was gonna call and have these sent to you but..I’ve been wanting to see you anyways.” 
“I know May, I’ve missed you. Sorry, I just..I've been..so busy.” 
May squinted her eyes, her crows feet becoming prominent. It was never an easy task to lie to May, she saw through everything. 
“I bet.” But, she always let the lie continue. May sat at the bar stool, the small photo book in hand as she opened it. (Y/N) settled next to her drinking out of the homemade Spider-Man cup, looking at the first set of photos. Three kids smiled in front of a carousel of horses, two boys and a girl standing in the middle. (Y/N) smiled, her mind flashing to the blonde boy in the photo, thinking about the last time they’d talk. Her eyes followed their muscle memory and looked at the scrawny brunette boy in the photo, his head resting on hers as he held up a peace sign. 
“Ben and I basically had to drag you three out of that park when that silly little carousel popped up. It was your favorite part.”
“We used to spend hours there. I used to steal money out of my dad’s wallet to get us rides for the whole week.” 
May laughed, nodding her head. (Y/N) smiled at the memory of her thumb rubbing over the slightly aged photo, it felt like her heart shook with grief for what they once were. 
“Now this..this is my favorite.” 
May held up a photo of two ghosts. 
One clad in an awkward fitting sports coat and slacks, the other in a deep blue dress and poorly dyed red hair. In Peter’s scratchy handwriting ‘Junior year winter formal’ was written on the back. (Y/N) swallowed harshly, but smiled at the image. 
“You two looked so cute. Your red hair really was something.”
“Mhm, I forgot the last time you saw me I was still a redhead!” (Y/N) hummed softly, sliding the photo back into its slot in the photo album. May hummed, putting her hand against her cheek. 
“When was the last time?” 
“It was ..I dunno, senior year we just got on christmas break, I had come by because I hadn’t heard from Peter in a couple weeks and I was worried. He’d gone upstate with Gwen’s family, and you gave me that knitted scarf and beanie set.” 
“Oh that’s right!” May smiled, grabbing onto (Y/N)’s forearm. “Have you two talked at all?”
(Y/N) laughed awkwardly, her hand coming up to push her hair out of her face. She shook her head rapidly. “No, I'm pretty much on the outskirts of his life now. I think we both go out of the way to avoid one another.” 
May shook her head, her nephew's behavior never failing to amaze her. “Whatever happened, have you two tried to fix it?”
“I dunno May, we just…grew apart. He had Gwen, photography and science club…and his other extra activities.” (Y/N) shrugged her shoulders, her hand patting May’s that rested on her forearm. “We grew up I guess.” 
May looked at her and it felt like she saw right through her, saw her heart and how Peter had smashed it into a million pieces. (Y/N) pulled her arm gently from May grabbing the coffee cup and taking a long sip. “Oh my god! Is this you and Ben?” It was a quick and easy subject change that May would allow. 
The front door opened and May turned her head. “Peter, why don’t you come into the kitchen? I have something I want to show you. I finally pulled those photos down from the attic!” 
(Y/N) looked around the kitchen like an animal being caged in, she looked for a quick escape but she could never move that quietly. So she settled with tucking her face away behind May’s figure and maybe if she willed enough she’d turn invisible. 
Peter's footsteps turned into a quick jog throughout the house. “May why would you..I told you I’d..” Suddenly all sound stopped. Time felt like it’d stopped with it. 
Peter had grown a couple inches since the last time they’d seen one another, she thought he’d looked taller in his birthday post on instagram but maybe she’d just started forgetting what he looked like. He’d finally cut his hair, and started dressing in more fitting clothes. He had become a full adult in the time they’d been apart, it felt like just yesterday they were eighteen year olds hanging out at the skatepark.  
“Hey.” He spoke softly, shock in his voice. 
“I caught her walking home- thought she’d like a trip down memory lane.” 
“Hey Pete.” (Y/N) spoke finally, her eyes following him as he walked to the fridge grabbing out the creamer and making his own cup of coffee. May had opened her mouth to speak before being cut off by the house phone. May grabbed (Y/N)’s shoulder as she stood. 
“I’ll be right back.” 
Silence, that was once comfortable and knowing, filled the room awkwardly. (Y/N)’s eyes locked to Peter’s back watching his movements. 
“Happy belated birthday.” 
Peter turned to look at her after the words left his mouth. She could laugh, at least he remembered one thing. 
“Yeah, yeah you too. We’re twenty, pretty odd huh?’
“Yeah..I feel like I’ve lived six times that.” 
(Y/N) nodded awkwardly, dropping her eyes from him and looking at the winter formal photo in her hands. Her phone vibrating from the counter, both of their eyes immediately looking at it. 
‘Harry - Hey, sorry we got cut short last night’
‘Harry - I’m actually grabbing a flight right now, I should be there tomorrow afternoon.’
She clicked the power button flipping it over. “How’s huh Gwen?” 
Peter nodded and leaned on the counter, his finger tapping a couple of the scattered photos. “Uh..well. Good, I think. We..broke up.” He spoke quickly, rolling his hand in a circle motion as he spoke. He looked up at her, for what felt like the first time in forever. She nodded, a frown on her lips. 
“I’m..really sorry to hear that Pete. I thought for sure you guys would..be together forever.” 
“Yeah me too..” He slumped his shoulders and shook his head. “Sometimes things just don’t work out.” 
“Tell me about it.” She laughs, it came out more bitter than she intended. Peter nodded, his lips pulling down at the notion. Maybe he knew he owed her a slew of apologies, maybe he was oblivious. She’d rather he be the latter. Clearing her throat she slipped out of the bar stool, grabbing her jacket off the back of the chair. 
“I should go. I have an assignment due at six I should get started on.” 
“Oh yeah, yeah.” Peter sniffled, his thumb rubbing against his nose. He pressed his fists into the countertop, his fingers popping as he did so. “Let me walk you home.” He offered up, rushing to get his coat from the living room. (Y/N) panicked, her mind moving at a million miles a second. Her brain refuses to process any type of response other than a small yes that she doesn’t even think he heard.
Taking the couple seconds alone she had she messaged Harry back: ‘So excited to see you! Miss your face :)’ 
“Ready?” Peter asked, he returned with a denim jacket on his shoulders, hands shoved into his pockets. (Y/N) pocketed her phone nodding at him, Peter reached around her holding the back door open for her as they stepped out into the slight chill of the spring weather. The two rounded the side of the house heading down the block. Peter fell into his previous routine, he always took the side of the sidewalk closest to the road, keeping (Y/N) on his inside. She smiled at him, dropping her gaze to her feet.
“I’ve been a terrible friend.” 
It wasn’t what she expected to fill the silence. Her mouth fell open, before closing again quickly trying to think of a response. 
“I like..totally left you hanging and I just..I’m really sorry that was so fucked up. There was just.” Peters fumbling through his words, it’s not an apology, but she’ll take it. 
“Hey Pete, it’s all good. We were kids, and hey what can you do it happened. I played a part in it too. We had a lot going on.” 
“You were always trying to excuse my bad behavior, I was a bad friend. I can admit that now, I should have admitted that two years ago.” 
(Y/N) shakes her head, a laugh falling out of her lips, her hand coming up to wave it off. 
“We were hormonal teenagers Peter, and that got in the way. I’m not mad, I missed you a lot. But maybe it was what we needed to grow.”
“I know but I should have said something. I left you on a fucking rooftop, I..” 
“I love you Peter, and I just need to know if you love me.” She screamed over the flow of the traffic below them. Sirens sounding off in the background felt like she was being laughed at by everyone. Peter’s face was numb, filled with shock as he held his mask in one hand, his bruised eyes searching her face. “I’m so confused. I don’t know what to think.”
“I don’t..I don’t know. I dunno, either.” 
He shook his head, the sound of the city around him felt like an icepick being stabbed into the back of skull. (Y/N) took a step back, wind blowing against her face whipping the dyed red hair around across her face. She turned and looked over the edge, before looking at him. Jumping from the 20th something floor felt like a better option than hearing whatever Peter had to say. 
“I just..is there a chance or is this all for..nothing? Am I holding out for nothing?” 
The sirens got louder, and Peter looked between the red head and the flashing sirens below them. 
“I’m sorry, we can talk later!” Peter swore as he slid the mask on his face, in a flash he’d thrown
himself over the side of the building a flash of red swinging off into the sky. 
The memory crawled into the forefront of her mind and for once it didn’t make her want to claw herself out of her skin. Peter’s hand had creeped out of his jacket pocket and into hers, his hand interlocking with hers. (Y/N)’s lips pulled down in a bittersweet smile, her thumb rubbing across his. For a moment she’s convinced herself nothing changed, for a moment she’s in school sneaking kisses with Peter in the darkroom of the photography club. Waiting for him by his locker ready to trade lunches for the day with silly notes written on the inside. 
“It hasn’t changed a bit.”
 Peter laughed as they reached the front stoop of her home, his hand still in hers. It was comforting, both having a sneaking feeling of home that they hadn’t felt in almost two years. However, the moment died quickly. Peter let go of her hand, stepping in front of her slightly as he looked around. (Y/N) furrowed her brow as she opened her mouth to talk, the scrapping of a chair drew her attention to the corner of the porch, a figure standing up. 
“Mhm that’s what I said. I gotta say though I don’t remember the glass in the window being pink”
The deep voice drew the friend's head towards the sound, (Y/N)’s jaw dropping as she grabbed a tense Peter’s shoulder. 
“Harry!”
They both yelled. The sandy blond started down the steps, (Y/N) took off meeting him half way engulfing him in a hug. Peter stood back in shock, looking at his lost friend as if a ghost had just crawled out of its grave in front of him. A small vibration of alert hanging in the back of his skull as the two embrace.
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Taglist: @moonyslove78 @helloheyhihowdyheya @sincericida @tarzinnia @a-lumos-in-the-nox @adhdhufflepuff @messymissy @hollandweather @toomanyfictionalboyfriends @eevylynn @ateliefloresdaprimavera @someblessedmonster
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last-herondale · 2 months
Text
Almost Pt. 6
Bucky Barnes x Femreader!
Bucky POV
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Angst, heartbreak, love triangle
Warning: none?
AN: We had state testing this week. My brain is fried. Sorry if this is trash but it’s my trash.
Enjoy 🤘🏼
It seemed that yet again I was standing there, watching you walk away from me after I had undoubtedly broken your heart. Again.
I tried to rationalize with myself that it wasn’t my fault. That the last thing I expected to happen that night was to run into you. Of course, I had dreamed of it. Concocted ways in my head of how I could accidentally run into you, just to see you. Maybe even talk to you. The ache in my heart from missing you had become a constant hurt. I had missed you while you were away, but after seeing you kiss Steve in the kitchen…after seeing you so happy…
I knew I had to step away.
I had been doing so well. Only seeing you when only absolutely necessary. Filling more and more of my time with missions and other distractions like Nadia, who seemed content enough to spend her time with me. I knew I was using her, and I hated myself for it, but I didn’t know how to handle the alternative.There was a certain torment in knowing you were back. In knowing that you were under the same roof as me, having a life that was becoming more and more distant from mine.
After tonight, I would be surprised if you ever talked to me again. I realized instantly that there was no excuse for what I said to you. I had been taken off guard seeing you pinning Nadia to the wall. I wanted to laugh at the scene before me. The shocked look on Nadia’s face, the stern, determined look in your eyes that was immediately overshadowed by the look of pure shock as you locked eyes with me.
There were a million things I wanted to say to you at that moment. A million feelings that came to the surface, and yet like an idiot, the only emotion I could convey, the only emotion I seemed to ever convey, was anger. The moment I began opening my mouth, the moment I saw the light in your eyes die out…
I went back inside of my apartment and grabbed my jacket before stepping out again. I knew there was no chance of me sleeping tonight, not after that. So I might as well torture my body in the training room as some sort of recompence for what I did.
The training room was empty, luckily. I started with the punching bag, made extra durable by Tony, and put the rest of my stupid emotions into that bag. Punch after punch I laid all my frustrations into my fists. The rhythmic thuds were comforting as I felt my chest heave after each breath. Sweat dripped down my forehead.
The slamming of the door took me out of my zone and I jerked in the direction of the entrance to see Steve standing there in the doorway. His body seemed eerily calm, with his hands in his sweat pockets, but he had a furrowed brow as he looked at the floor. I wasn't surprised to see him. I had insulted you, in possibly the worst way I could have. If you had run to tell anyone, it would have been your… I think the ache I felt now was over the fact that it wasn’t me.
“Up late?” I asked, grabbing a towel off of the rack and wiping my face. I didn’t look at him. I couldn’t.
“Yeah, couldn’t sleep,” Steve said in a flat tone, “Then of course I heard yelling down the hallway.”
I winced. Honestly I had been surprised that no one else had come out during the altercation. The amount of people in that tower that had super hearing… I turned towards Steve, trying to fix my face into some sort of nonchalant pose. I knew he would see right through it. Part of me wanted him to see right through it.
I wish he would just come out and yell. Let his anger come out so that I could match that energy. But Steve was never the guy to throw his anger out without cause. He was patient. He was understanding. He was a good man. Everything I wasn’t. So, rather than punching me in the face, he was just standing there, waiting for me to talk.
“Sorry for waking you, it's been a weird night.”
Steve kept his eyes steady on me. I clenched my jaw.
“Look, I don’t know what she told you–” I began
“She hasn’t told me anything,” Steve said calmly, “In fact, I can’t seem to get her to leave her room to talk to me. She won’t even pick up her damn phone.”
I couldn’t hide my shock. I thought surely after the altercation you would run to the man that has been providing comfort to you for the past few months. If you hadn’t then maybe what the two of you had wasn’t as deep as I first thought…
“I heard what you said to her, Buck,” Steve said in a cold tone.
My stomach dropped at his words.
“I didn’t mean it,” I said weakly, “I know I shouldn’t have said it, but I…”
My words seemed to fail me as I sat down on a bench. A couple of moments passed, but eventually, Steve sat down beside me and sighed.
“Bucky, you need to be completely honest with me. Do you love her?”
There it was. The question I couldn’t face. The answer came so easily in my head. Of course I did. What was there not to love? How was I to admit that I was lost without you? That turning you away was the worst mistake I ever made. I couldn’t look at Steve. I couldn’t talk.
Steve sighed again. Out of the corner of my eye I could see that he was rubbing his face. He was tired and exhausted. I was hurting everyone around me.
“Stop that,” Steve said softly.
“What?” I blurted out.
“Stop feeling sorry for yourself. You don’t do yourself any favors by pushing everyone away.”
When I didn’t respond, he continued.
“I know how hard you are on yourself, especially when Nat left. I know you thought you found your person in her, and after everything you have been through you deserve to find someone who not only makes you happy, but fills your heart with so much light that it overshadows the darkness. When you were in that pit of despair, I had no idea how to get you out of it, and I felt like a failure as your best friend. But then, she showed up. She came into both of our lives like a wildfire. She brought back the light in your eyes, and reawakened your soul.”
I felt hot tears down my face, but Steve continued on.
“I won’t deny that I’ve grown feelings for her. I think seeing her love you and care for you as much as I do, makes me see her in the greatest of lights. She is worthy of so much love. I thought maybe you… I thought that maybe you would love her… I thought that was where your story was heading Buck, but you chose differently. I saw her leave my birthday party. I saw how distraught she was. I could only assume that you didn’t have feelings for her as she had for you. That’s why I… that the only way I could live with myself for… feeling these things.
“But clearly, there is something there. You avoid her now like she is the plague. You hardly talk to me anymore and we are brothers, you and I. So, Bucky, you don’t have to say it, but I know you love her. In some capacity, I know you do. You can deny it all you want, but I know you.”
Steve sighed again. “I know you think you don’t deserve to be loved. I know it’s hard for you to see the goodness in yourself, but you deserve love. You deserve to be happy. If she is what makes you happy, you need to let her know. She deserves that, doesn’t she?”
Yes, you deserve everything.
“What about you?” I asked, my voice was shaky as I spoke. I finally looked up at him and saw his expectant blue eyes waiting for me. I was surprised to see that he wasn’t angry.
Steve gave a small chuckle.
“I have never been one to deny you your happiness Bucky,” his voice turned a bit solemn, “I care about her… a lot. She is one of my best friends, and the time we have spent together has been… great. But we have been honest with each other. We both have unresolved heartaches from the past that prevent us from becoming more. She doesn’t hold it against me for still loving Peggie, and I don’t hold it against her from loving you. Maybe in time, we could become something more, but for now our hearts do not beat for each other as they should.”
“So you don’t… love her?” I asked carefully. I didn’t like that I was beginning to sound hopeful. I wanted you to be loved. I wanted you to be cared for. I thought Steve would be perfect for you… I thought there wasn’t a chance in hell that I would be able to…
“I love her, but not in the way that she clearly loves you,” Steve gave me a smirk.
“I don’t know if she does anymore. I’ve been a complete ass to her,” I mumbled, putting my head in my hands.
“Oh I know,” Steve laughed a bit but then looked at me seriously, “So what are you going to do about it?”
I raised my head out of my hands. What was I going to do about it?
“Do you really think she could love me, after everything? After tonight?” I asked pathetically.
“I think,” Steve said carefully, “That you will have to earn her trust back. It’s not about making her love you again, she loves you, has loved you through everything. You messed up, and you realize that, so you need to change. Change for her, change because of her. You already have and you haven’t realized it. Now show her. Give her back the love she gave you, and more.”
Images of you flashed through my head. Memories of you laughing with me, holding me when I was a complete mess. Memories of you consoling me, telling me that I was worthy, that I was more than I thought of myself. These memories warmed my soul, as they always did. I realized that I wanted more memories with you. I wanted to be consumed by them. Enveloped in them. I need you now more than ever. I would always need you. Always want you. Always desire you. And I needed to show you how much you meant to me.
I let out a small chuckle.
“For an old man,” I said playfully, “You are really good at giving advice.”
Steve laughed and wrapped an arm around my shoulders.
“Remind me to charge you for my services later,” he teased.
I clasped my hand on his shoulder. “Thank you Steve.”
He just gave me a hopeful look and slapped my back.
“Go get her, buddy.”
I was up and out the door before he finished the word. I didn’t know what I was doing, I didn’t know what I was going to say to you. Apologize. That's what I needed to do first. Grovel at your feet. Beg for any forgiveness you would be willing to give me. I was at your door, knocking in quick succession before I could fully think about what I wanted to say.
My chest was heaving and my palms were sweaty waiting for you. I knocked on the door again. Impatient, I put my ear against the door to listen for any sign of you. I heard the soft sound of your radio playing your favorite channel from your room, but nothing else. The sun was rising, and beams of sunlight were breaking through the windows of the tower.
It wasn’t unusual for you to be up and about early in the morning, but after the night we had, I know you didn’t get much sleep. But you wouldn’t be asleep with the radio on. You hated any sort of noise when you slept. I knocked again.
“Please open the door,” I begged.
Nothing.
A sick feeling spread through my stomach like ice. I shoved down the door in one hit. Your living room was empty, no sign of a break in or struggle, but you were nowhere in sight. I called out for you. Nothing. I scanned your apartment, looking for any sign of where you were. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, except on your nightside table there was an envelope. I approached it slowly, my hand shivering as I saw the name on the outside of the card.
Steve
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paddockletters · 1 year
Text
I'll take the opportunity | pablo gavi and pedri gonzalez
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2nd part here request: yes/ hello can you do a love triangle with pedri and gavi where they both compete for yns attention thank you for you request ❤ summary: two best friends in love with the same girl, she is confused as they both want her. pairing: pablo gavi x reader ; pedri x reader warnings: some angst, arguments, maybe a broken heart? words count: 1.9 k author note: I enjoyed writing this so much, I REALLY want to write a second part, what do you think? if you want a second part and have any ideas, please let me know, thank you!
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You had met the boys through friends.
Mostly, you had a better relationship with Gavi as you were both the same age, you had the similar interests, you used to go out from time to time.
You could say that you were romantically attracted to him, although you didn't know if he was attracted to you, but you were almost sure that he was, as you had been flirting for a while, having conversations a little bit further than friendship, holding hands, but even so, you hadn't said it openly, so you kept it a secret while you were figuring out your true feelings.
On the other hand, although you had a good relationship with Pedri, unlike Gavi, he was a bit more reserved.
You had hangout sometimes, but not alone, only with friends, the chats you had with him were quite interesting. Pedri was pretty cute too you had to admit, but with him, it was hard to tell if there was any romantic interest.
You had been trying to hang out for a few days, but due to him training, some important interviews and you busy with university, you hadn't been able to meet up, but you kept on messaging each other.
This week you had agreed to go out for lunch with Gavi, because he would be busier for a few days because there will be a important match, so you couldn't see each other until that day, and he had already invited you and you couldn't refuse, obviously.
Not only to see your favourite team play but also to see him and Pedri...Just to enjoy watching your two friends.
You were with Gavi in a restaurant in a hidden place to avoid some fans and press as they are usually very annoying and he didn't want to expose you. He wanted to keep you to himself, he didn't want to ruin whatever he had with you, he didn't want to lose that opportunity with you and more against his friend, because yes, Gavi had noticed the looks you and Pedri were giving each other.
"How are you feeling, aren't you nervous about the game this sunday?" You asked Gavi while smiling at him.
" Kind of, excited more than anything. I hope Xavi lets me play the whole game and obviously, score a goal" You could see an incredible enthusiasm in Gavi and you couldn't help it either. You know he's a great player and he always puts everything he has into every game —even if sometimes he exceeds that—.
"You'll see that he will, but please don't fight with anyone or you'll get overheated" You gave him a little tap on the shoulder playfully.
"Que va! Que yo soy un tío muy tranquilo hasta que me provocan” (No way! I'm a very calm guy until people tease me) He looked at you with an offended look, but at the same time, laughing.
"Okay, you're right about that. Gavi, I hope you manage to win, the team deserves it, you and Pedri have been great" You couldn't help not mentioning Pedri, but it was true, these guys were the Golden boys of the team.
Gavi couldn't help but feel jealous when he heard you mention Pedri, did you really only see Pedri as a friend? Did you even have feelings for him, for Gavi? He couldn't lose you, he immediately had an idea.
"Ok, I will promise you one thing and you will promise me one thing. That you have to go to the match wearing my shirt and if I score a goal, I will dedicate it to you but you have to give me something in return" Gavi said while smiling with a BIG smile.
"Ok, but where did I get the shirt from?"
" Don't worry, before sunday I'll give you one of mine " Gavi told you while smiling.
"Ok, it's a deal, but what do I have to give you in ret-"
"Guys, I didn't know you would be here" It was none other than Pedri.
Actually, he knew you were eating at this restaurant because of some photos that were released. He was at home scrolling through twitter when he found some pictures of you guys that a fan had takem. That made Pedri jealous, sad and angry at himself for not asking you out sooner. But he was not the only one who was angry, but also the fans.
Even though, in the pictures you appeared with back turned, Pedri knew perfectly well that it was you, because of your silhouette and because of the silly smile Gavi had in the pictures while he was looking at you, so he didn't hesitate to go to see you, he knew the restaurant because he and Gavi used to go there whenever they wanted privacy.
"Man, what a surprise!" Gavi said with fake excitement in his voice, as well as his smile.
"Really? I didn't expect to find you here; I was supposed to meet Ferran but he's already late. Do you mind if I sit with you?" Pedri asked staring at you
"No" "Yes" You and Gavi replied at the same time.
Gavi clearly wasn't happy that he had come to interrupt you, it was his moment with you. You on the other hand, even though you were a bit confused, were happy to have your friends together because with Pedri, you hadn't been able to meet up.
"Pedri, I'm happy to see you. We finally got to see each other" You said as you looked at Pedri and he couldn't help but smile. You were happy to see him.
Gavi, in contrast, was in a grumpy mood from the moment Pedri came over. He knew what he was doing, but he promised himself he wouldn't let him ruin it.
"In fact I was going to send you a text to meet up today."
"Sí bueno, mala suerte tío, que ella ha salido conmigo” (Yeah well, tough luck man, she’s with me) Gavi mumbled, as he pulled his chair closer to yours.
Pedri noticed that action and his smile faded.
"Well, since we're here, I wanted to invite you to the game on sunday”
"Thanks Pedri, but-"
"I've already invited her, she even promised to wear my shirt" Gavi interrupted you as he pouted slightly and made a fake sad face and you looked at him confused.
"Pedri, don't worry I'll support you both, you're my friends"
Both boys fell silent.
"Fair enough, that's what friends are for, right?" Pedri replied, with a fake smile.
"Well, how about if I order something to eat to join you guys" Pedri said.
"Sure, I'll talk to the waitress" You replied smiling.
After Pedri had ordered his food and it arrived, the three of you started chatting as normally as you could.
"I'll be right back" Gavi said as he got up from his seat and headed to the bathroom leaving you alone.
"What do you say tomorrow if I pick you up at the university and we go to my place to watch a movie and eat?" Pedri asked you excitedly.
"Yeah, that’s great idea!” You smiled, it was a great opportunity to get to know him better.
"How do you feel about the match?” You asked him.
"Pretty confident actually. I'm really looking forward to the game already" He replied smiling. Just like Gavi, you could see the passion when they talked about what they love.
"I know you're going to do great. You are an amazing player Pedri" He blushed at the compliment you gave him, how cute he was.
"Thanks y/n. I promise that when I score a goal, I will dedicate it to you" He smiled at you and now it was your turn to blush.
You had two boys —who were best friends—that had promised to dedicate their goals to you this Sunday.
"Who are you going to dedicate a goal to? Tania, the girl you're seeing?" said Gavi sitting back down next to you.
You remained silent and couldn't help but feel uncomfortable, Pedri, for his part, was extremely irritated. He had no right to bring that up, did he? Gavi just wanted to make him look bad in front of you. Even though he had a short-term thing with her - three dates to be exact - he stopped the moment he started to take an interest in you, all that rumours about them actually being together were just rumours, and now he was afraid you'd believe it.
Tension was in the air, it seemed like the two of you were competing for who was better, who could get your attention the most.
“¿Eso a que viene tío? Esa chica nada que ver, que solo son rumores y ya” (What's that about, man?) That girl has nothing to do with that, it's just rumours and that's all)Pedri answered with a noticeable annoyance in his voice, he had even turned red with anger.
" Nada Pedri, que tú me dijiste que había algo entre vosotros. Tranquilo”. Pedri, you told me that there was something between you. Calm down.) Gavi said playing dumb. He wasn't going to rest until he got you, not when he knew Pedri had feelings for you and apparently you were attracted to him.
"Okay guys, calm down. I have to go, y/bf/n is coming over to my house to study." You stood up from your chair, picked up your bag and left money on the table for your meal.
"Do you want me to take you home?" Pedri and Gavi spoke at the same time.
"Pablo, you don't even have a driving licence, what do you say?" Pedri says turning to look at him.
"We're taking a taxi. Let's go," Gavi said.
"No way, I'll take you" This time Pedri said looking at you standing up from the chair and taking out the car keys.
"No, no guys. Okay, see you on sunday" And with that, you started to head for the exit.
"Okay, see you tomorrow y/n" Pedri said to you, to which Gavi turned to look at him confused.
"¿De que vas, tío? (What are you on about, man?) Gavi said to him annoyed.
"No, ¿de que vas tú? ¿Por qué mencionaste a Tania enfrente de y/n?” (No, what are you about? Why did you bring up Tania in front of y/n?) Pedri walked up to Gavi pointing at him.
"I only told the truth. It's better if she know that you already have a girlfriend, I'm going to take the chance" There is, this fucker knows what he's doing.
" You're just an idiot. You already knew there's nothing between me and Tania" Pedri points at him. "You're not going to take any chances, because that one belongs to me, and/n she's interested in me. Tomorrow we'll meet and I'll confess how I feel about her and you won't be able to stop me.
By this time, Gavi was really pissed off, he definitely wouldn't let Pedri have a chance with you, not with the strong feelings he had for you, and that he knew you felt as well.
"Pedri, you can't do this to me. You know she and I have been flirting for a while now."
" You've said it, you're just flirting, fooling and there's nothing going on between you. I'll take the opportunity. I'm sorry Gavi, but I really like her". Pedri says that and leaves the place.
Neither of the two guys were going to let you go, they would fight for you and your love regardless of their friendship. And you, you didn't know what would happen next, and for sure, someone would get hurt.
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aroaceleovaldez · 2 months
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thoughts on leo valdez? headcdanons? i
[stares at own url] ...I'll give you one for free, lol
Aro/ace Leo.... listen. He explicitly states that he plays up his false persona in aspects that he feels are lacking in his actual personality in an effort to make people like him more, and in his POVs we get a lot of him doing acknowledged-as-nonserious joke-flirting as part of his false persona. Guy who doesn't realize he's aspec trying to overcompensate for his lack of attraction by excessively hitting on people to hide that he doesn't feel attraction towards anyone? Him wondering if he's broken in a whole bunch of ways and trying to make up for it externally while having an identity crisis about that? Something something metaphor about him wondering if cause he's a Hephaestus kid he's a little too much like a machine/robot and can't feel love or The Right Emotions In General™ because of that cause he doesn't know about aspec stuff yet (or that he's autistic)? Can anyone hear me.
Related to that: Leo landing on Ogygia (island of unreciprocated love) and meeting Calypso, who (probably through love magic) actually seems to be attracted to him? And him trying to force himself to reciprocate because he figures that's just how it's supposed to go and maybe for once he's actually experiencing romantic love? And he's so desperate for someone to like him and to feel useful to someone (re: 7th wheel)? But it fizzles out almost immediately after they leave the island, because the heart-eyes wear off for Calypso, especially once she technically no longer needs him, and Leo can't keep up trying to make himself reciprocate (and can't keep up trying to put his mask back up for her, especially now that Calypso seems to actually care about it). I am literally always thinking about this.
Short king,,, I don't care what anybody says he is NOT 5'6" that is way too tall for him. My guy is 5'5" absolute maximum. I usually place him at 5'3". Tiny guy. Made of pipecleaners. Built like Bilbo Baggins...
I've mentioned it before in a couple of places (i know [here] at least) but I did not like his fake-out death in BoO. Also I'm just mad about his dropped character arc(s) in general. My ideal substitute is that instead of dying and being revived, Festus just crashes in the woods nearby and Leo has overexerted his powers too much a la Nico's shadow stuff and is nearly dead but once they get him to the infirmary he recovers and can start working on recovering from his whole depression arc too. Also maybe he loses a leg in the crash so he can match his dad just for funsies, and so that there's some amount of consequence to his sacrifice to make up for him not dying (not like in canon there were any consequences to him dying and being revived anyways...). Also something something accidental Hiccup HTTYD joke. Leo with a prosthetic is always fun. More Hephaestus kids with prosthetics.
I am very amused by the concept of Leo never having any romantic attraction to Hazel at all, possibly even negative romantic attraction once he finds out she dated his great-grandpa (especially since in canon like 90% of his thoughts about Hazel are just kind of appreciative and genuinely thinking she's really cool, if a little confusing at first), and Hazel pretty quickly gets over her side of things once she gets used to the fact that this is Definitely Not Sammy, he just Looks Like Sammy (and does not actually act like Sammy, that's just a fake persona that is eerily similar by coincidence. Real Leo is actually quite reserved and not so much of a vocal goofball most of the time). So they're just besties after their mutual weird Sammy vision and understanding the deeper sides to each other and are each other's person they're most comfortable letting their guard down around cause they've formed that level of trust. Except Frank's over in the corner seething cause he thinks this is a love triangle but he's the only one who thinks that. Leo just thinks Frank hates him for the general reasons he thinks everybody hates him (which is just an assumption he's kind of used to and expects from people, so he does not question it at all). Hazel knows Frank thinks Leo is trying to steal her from him but she's having trouble trying to keep the two of them from nearly killing each other. It's a very homestuck auspistice dynamic.
Leo and Frank eventually work out their stuff and become very good friends to meeee... let them bond over their mutual fear of fire and dead mom trauma! they have so many parallels and I want the two of them and Hazel to be a funky cute little trio!
Dragonkin Leo! That boy is a dragon!!!! I usually say his stuff is kind of spiritual origin (he doesn't really know how to explain it other than his soul is just a dragon) versus like Jason being a wolf therian with a more psychological origin (being raised by an immortal wolf pack rubbed off on him) (rip Piper being the only non-alterhuman in their trio LMAO). I imagine whatever type of dragon he is probably is very similar to Festus, which is part of why Leo clicks with Festus so quickly - he just sees himself in Festus and it's very comforting to him. He definitely makes himself some fun 'kin gear, like a nice weighted tail and wings and claws to try and help his phantom shifts feel a lil less wonky. Also him having dragon talon weapons just sounds cool. He also totally makes gear for any other alterhuman demigods.
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broken-glowsticks · 5 months
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What Once was Mine
Chapter 11 - When, How, and Why
Genre: Childhood friends, Eventual Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Love corner/love triangle, love rivals, Series.
NOT ALL CHAPTERS WILL BE PROOF READ!!
Warnings: 18+, mdni, mentions of sex and alcohol consumption, additional warnings will be added to individual chapters as needed.
Additional warnings: mentions of explicit sex, loss of virginity, fingering (f receiving), piv, mentions of an underage related, mentions of bruises and bodily harm, slight angst.
Previous • Main • Next
“What do you mean he almost kissed you?!” Felix's deep baritone ricocheted off the walls of his room, immediately followed by your hasty shushing.
“Ssshhhh! Felix, shut your face! I don't want Chan to hear!”
“Chan's elbows deep in work right now, his headphones are basically fused to his head. He's not going to hear anything.” Felix retorted, grabbing your wrists and removing the hands you had shoved against his mouth to shut him up. He didn't let you go, though. “Now spill,” he commanded, pulling you closer, a devious smile on his lips, “what exactly happened?”
With a sigh, you pulled your hands from Felix's grasp. Scooting closer to him on his bed, you tried to keep your voice down as you relayed the events that had happened the previous night.
“No fucking way, you little tease!” Felix basically sang as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder, drawing you in to roughly nuzzle you.
“Ow, ow, ow, Felix, knock it off!” You whined, shoving him off you and yanking away the pillow he was leaning on as a form of cover. Felix only giggled.
“Alright, joking aside,” Felix began, once again pulling you in but gentler this time. “How do you feel about what almost happened?”
You sighed. Laying down, you rested your head on Felix's leg, gathering your thoughts as he began to tenderly stroke your hair. How did you really feel about Hyunjin almost kissing you?
“I feel like there's something going on that he's not telling me.”
“Okay, elaborate?”
“Hyunjin… struggles to communicate how he feels, he always has. The sex… always meant more.”
“More for him? I thought it was just something casual?” Felix meant no harm in his questions, genuinely wanting to understand. Before tonight, Felix didn't know Hyunjin as anything other than an obstacle to you and Changbins’ budding relationship. Everything he's ever learned about the guy has come from Jisungs’ blatant and self-admitted biased view. And while you knew Felix was still trying to sort things out, it still stung to be reminded how much you wished the sex with Hyunjin meant something different than it did. But you never pushed. You never dared to expose yourself like that because the entire time you were with him, you knew what those moments meant for Hyunjin.
“Hooking up…” you began, trying to find the words to properly express yourself, “sure, we would sometimes do it for fun or to de-stress, but that's not how it started.”
“Then… how did it start?” Taking your face in his hands, Felix leaned over, meeting his eyes with yours. “If the sex wasn't mainly just for fun, then what made you two start up in the first place?”
Your lips pressed into a thin line. You struggled to hold Felix's gaze, but he asked, and you've never spoken about this to anyone, not even Jisung, who's known you since before Hyunjin even re-entered your life. You don't know why you never spoke about it, maybe it was time.
“Alright, let's get some snacks and something to drink, I might get emotional.”
○●♡☆♡●○
You sniffled as you curled yourself further under your fluffy comforter, makeup smearing against your pillow - you didn't care, you were too heartbroken. Tonight was supposed to be the best date of your teenage life, never would you have thought someone from Hyunjins untouchable circle would take any kind of interest in you, you always assumed they thought too highly of themselves based on how they acted in the halls. Turns out you were right.
You had planned this night for days. All dressed up in the new outfit you had gotten at the mall with Jisung and his girlfriend, even tentatively donning the pretty lingerie set you had snuck off to buy in the event things got heated and felt right. Your parents weren't home, set to be gone until some time tomorrow afternoon. You had made a simple dinner and picked out a few movies to possibly rent in the event the night stayed chaste. Everything was all set, yet as time ticked by, you began to worry. When your dates' appointed arrival time came and went, you began to get nervous, texting him and Hyunjin in an attempt to get ahold of the elusive boy.
You weren't expecting Hyunjin to be able to do much, he had mentioned he had plans of his own and would check in whenever he had the time, but so far he had only been able to reply twice - both times before your date was even meant to begin. At least Hyunjin managed to reply at all. You had debated over calling Jisung, but you very much didn't want to deal with the embarrassment of admitting you may have gotten stood up because he was so against the date in the first place, only helping because you expressed it was something you really wanted. Maybe you should call your date? Not wanting to seem clingy and give him the benefit of the doubt you simply assumed his phone had died or something of the sort, leading you to lay on the couch to wait for him, eating chocolate and ice cream with some random YouTube videos playing to fill the dead air as you scrolled social media. That's when you saw it.
You had followed this boy on Instagram a little bit ago, hanging on his every post as a way to glean more knowledge of him, but at this moment you wished you didn't even know about his Instagram page at all. There, at the very top of your feed, was a carousel of images of him at a party, an impossibly gorgeous girl clinging to him like shrink wrap.
A burn scorched your throat as it tightened, your heart dropping to your stomach. Hot, angry tears welled in your eyes as, stupidly, you tapped on his profile picture and pulled up his stories, the time stamp indicating he posted only minutes ago. He looked like he was having so much fun, especially with that girl who was showing up often. The final nail in the coffin was when you saw your would-be date's final story, where - presumably - one of his friends had filmed him explicitly licking whipped cream off the girl's chest. Broken and disgusted, you aggressively dashed away your phone, escaping your room to wallow in your sorrows. You stayed there, sobbing, until you had no more tears to give, seeking solace within the plush embrace of your bed.
You were unsure when you started debating over cleaning up, maybe eating the dinner you made - no point in letting good food go to waste. You had only just managed to sit upright in your bed when you heard the tell-tale sign of a fist thrashing against your door, frequent ringing of your doorbell accompanying. The barrage of noise startled you into place, and you thought about pretending you weren't even home, but the sounds of a well-known voice shouting through the wood eased your nerves.
“Y/N? Beautiful, it's me, open up!!” Hyunjins strained voice shouted, screaming at the top of his lungs in hopes you would be able to hear him regardless of wherever you were hiding in the house.
Wordlessly, you made your way from your bed to the front door, turning on the front light so he knew you were there.
“Hyunjin, what are you-?”
“I'm gonna kill that fucking ass-hole,” Hyunjin growled through grit teeth the moment you opened the door, cutting you off by placing his hands on either side of your face. He could feel his temper rising as he took in your smudged makeup and red, puffy eyes. Despite his rough tone he held your face so gently that you almost began to cry again. “I swear to you, I didn't know he was going to do this.”
“I know it wasn't your fault Jinnie…” you breathed, attempting to remain collected enough to not give into your heartbreak. It wasn't enough, as soon as you opened your mouth to reassure him another sob tore from you and you were once again lost. Hyunjin didn't bat an eye, wrapping himself around you and holding you so tightly it felt as though he was the only thing even remotely keeping you together.
“I knew it was too good to be true, but I still believed that he might like me. That, maybe, I had a chance. God, I feel so stupid, Hyunjin!” You clung to Hyunjins denim jacket as you wailed shamelessly into the collar, “and… and when I saw his stories, how this girl was glued to him… it's dumb and I know I deserve better, but I still couldn't help but wonder why couldn't that be me? Did he think I wasn't good enough, not hot enough? What am I missing that I'm so undesirable to him?”
“Y/N stop,” Hyunjins hands were once again at your face, drawing your gaze to his. “You're beautiful, you know you are. Just because this guy doesn't see it, that doesn't mean it's not true. Hell, you even just said that you know you deserve better.” he said gently, pressing his forehead to yours. “God I'm so fucking angry,” he muttered more to himself than anything, squeezing his eyes shut. How dare this prick of a “friend” hurt you like this, in the exact same way he did?
“I know… I know I deserve better, I'm not ugly, but it's so hard to feel like I'm pretty, that I'm desirable at all, when guys keep rejecting me.”
“All those guys are idiots.” Hyunjin sighed, “I wish I could show you how desirable you really are,” he said in a whisper, his brows furrowed and eyes squeezing tighter. It hurt him so much to hear you speak like that.
“I love you for wanting that, but… I don't see how you could,” you whimpered, placing your hands over his, your glossy eyes drifting over his pained features. Was it just the harsh shadows from the front light, or did he have a couple of bruises on his face?
“I can think of one way,” Hyunjin said, his voice coming out small, almost shy. This surprised you. You couldn't remember the last time he came off as shy.
“What do you mean, Jinnie?” You asked in an equally soft tone, your curiosity and fear of spooking him out of sharing his idea overtaking the uncertainty of the possible bruises on his face.
Hyunjins eyes open slowly, his gaze unreadable. You didn't know what it was, but something about the intensity of his stare made you flush, rendering you speechless. Eventually, the longer you looked, the better you could see it - the internal war he was having with himself. Whatever his thought was, he was unsure over whether or not to follow through. For Hyunjin, he was unsure if this would help or if it was even something you needed. He was worried that after what happened to him tonight, he was focusing too much over what he needed.
“Are you not going to tell me?” You finally asked, trying to goad him into fussing up, “did you change your mind?”
“No, I just… I don't want to upset you.”
“Sounds like you have something risky in mind.”
“That's putting it lightly,” he chuckled, ghosting his thumb over your cheek. “I don't think we'd be the same after, and that scares me, I don't want you to shut me out, Beautiful.”
“Just do it, Jinnie. I know that regardless of whatever you have in mind, you just want to help. I could never be upset at you for that.”
“Are you sure?” He rasped, snaking one of his arms around your waist. Your pulse thudded at his actions, but after a stiff swallow, you nodded anyway.
“I'm sure Hyunjin, I trust you.”
Hyunjins eyes became hooded as he scanned your face, his lower lip catching between his teeth as he tipped your chin up with the hand that wasn't increasing its grip on your waist. You stopped breathing as Hyunjin ran his thumb over your lower lip, taking in the softness of your skin before delving in for a bite.
You whimpered at the gentle sting as he tugged at your lower lip, eyes screwed shut and hands clutching at his tear stained denim jacket. Before you could even question what was happening, Hyunjins' other arm wrapped around you, pulling your body hard against his as he tilted his head to kiss you properly. Your head spun. All you could focus on was his soft, plush, lips, and warm breath.
A squeal sneaked out of you when Hyunjin licked your lower lip, allowing him to slip between your lips when you gasped in surprise. You put up no fight, allowing him to roam as he pleased. You were so lost in everything about him, his touch, his smell, his taste. It was as if you were caught in a current drifting you further out to sea. Was this why every girl in town wanted a chance just to spend a night with him? Or was he so good because he got around? He was just kissing you, and you could feel your excitement stirring. How did it feel to do more than just kiss him? Wanting to know you released your grip on his jacket, slipping your hands beneath the collar.
Hyunjin shuttered at your cool touch, a stark contrast to the hot skin of his neck. Goosebumps raised as he felt you slip his jacket off of him, and he released your waist to help you along, dropping the fabric by the front door and kicking off his shoes. He was so focused that he let out a small noise of surprise when you slipped your hands under the hem of his shirt, hands resting on his abdomen.
“Y/N,” he murmured against your lips, chuckling when you refused to stop kissing him. Running a hand into your hair, he held on gently as he pulled away, full on grinning when your lips tried to chase after him, “easy there, girl.”
“Why'd you stop?” You softly whined, somewhat out of breath, a pout on your sweet lips.
“I just don't want to keep this up right by the front door, I keep thinking your parents are going to catch us or something,” Hyunjin said light heartedly, his eyes still lingering on your lips. He already wanted to kiss you again.
“Then…” you began, feeling shy at what you were about to suggest, “my room?”
“Your room,” Hyunjin agreed, lifting you from the floor and carrying your giggly self to your bed. Tearing off his flannel and climbing on top of you, he finally took a moment to take in your outfit. His heart sank once he realized this outfit was new, and you looked absolutely stunning in it. How dare your date not come to see how much effort you put in for tonight. Hyunjins hands clenched at your sheets as he told himself that at least you wouldn't have dressed up for nothing. He wouldn't let your efforts tonight go to waste.
“Hyunjin, are you alright?” Hyunjins eyes met yours, and he leaned in to place a kiss to the tip of your nose.
“I'm just nervous, I didn’t think you'd take it this far.”
“I didn't either,” you admitted, suddenly unable to look at him, “but I just… I liked what we were doing, how you were making me feel.” Your cheeks burned, but Hyunjin was right. You deserved to feel beautiful, and you were grateful that it was Hyunjin who was making you feel this way. “Hyunjin… I- I want you to keep going… would you… would you be my first?”
Hyunjins’ breath caught in his throat, and in an instant, he no longer felt like the full of confidence school bad boy. Instead, he was just a boy, a boy with his heart hammering in his chest as he looked down at the girl he secretly loved with the widest eyes imaginable.
“Are- Are you sure?” He whispered, the tremor in his voice matching the one shaking his body.
“Yes,” you breathed, finding the courage to look at him again. “I'm sure.”
With a fervored nod of his head, Hyunjin sat up and hastily fumbled for his wallet in his back pocket, praying that he still had a condom tucked away. With relief, he found one. He couldn't stop shaking.
“I'll stop whenever you tell me to,” Hyunjin said with a mix of excitement and anxiety, placing the condom next to you on the bed, “you call all the shots. I won't do anything you're not comfortable with, okay?”
Unable to speak, you nodded, taking several deep, steadying breaths as Hyunjin returned above you, wasting no time to kiss you sweetly. You did your best to focus on the moment, on the slant of his lips, the smell of his cologne clinging to his undershirt, of his shaky hand that trailed under your shirt to run his hand over your breast which caused your breath to hitch.
“Y/N, are you wearing lingerie?” Hyunjin murmured. Your hands flew to your face to cover your now tomato red face before he could even finish asking his question. Once again, you were only able to nod. With a groan, Hyunjin, unceremoniously and without warning, pushed your shirt up as far as it would go before sitting back on his haunches and tearing your bottoms off of you. Fuck, to think that good-for-nothing almost saw you in this. “I can't tell you how glad I am to be the only one to see you in this,” he said admiringly, pressing kisses to your knees, then down your inner thighs.
Hyunjin paused for a moment, giving you a chance to stop him before he went any further, but when you remained hiding behind your hands he continued to pepper kisses between your thighs as he worked his way down. With a small smirk, Hyunjin traced the little bow that topped the front of your lace panties. You were a present just for him. He felt grateful, getting something just for him.
Wanting to show just how appreciative he was, Hyunjin spread your legs, slotting his head in between them and placing soft kisses to your covered heat. He relished in your shy, needy whimpers as he ran his fingers up and down your clothed slit, pressing more kisses over your clit as the dampness against your panties worsened.
“I'm going to eat you out first before we do this, baby, I want you relaxed and feeling good before I try sliding in,” he instructed as he pulled your panties down your legs with his teeth and slid his finger over your now exposed slit.
You were already a panting mess from this little bit of stimulation, your hands no longer hiding your face but bunched at your chest as you watched him toy with you. You had never seen this side of Hyunjin before and were getting more and more aroused as he focused on your pleasure. You couldn't take your eyes off him, especially as he rested one of your legs over his shoulder, collecting your wetness on his middle finger before easing it between your folds. He pumped the digit in and out a few times, checking if there was any discomfort before easing in another finger. Your eyes fluttered closed at the filling sensation, savoring the delicious drag of his fingers as they slowly pumped in and out of you. Hyunjin took great care in building you up, exploring which spots were your weakest and prodding at them mercilessly until you were shaking beneath him. Right when you thought the sensation couldn't get more intense, Hyunjins' tongue slid over your sensitive clit, causing your hips to buck. Hyunjin grunted but continued licking and swirling his tongue over the bundle of nerves as his fingers continued to expertly press at your gummy walls. Hyunjin was reading you so well and all you could do was grasp at his hair and cry out pathetic moans beneath him.
Before you could even say anything, your orgasm rapidly built before exploding, your creaminess coating Hyunjins’ tongue and fingers. Your body shuttered, and Hyunjin continued to rub you walls as he helped ease you down.
“That's it, baby, you did so good. Just stay relaxed, okay?” Hyunjin cooed, licking you from his lips and fingers and reaching for the condom, “are you ready?”
“I- I think so,” you stammered out, surprised at yourself for managing to speak. Your head felt so cluttered, unable to believe Hyunjin just made you cum. Hyunjin, the guy you've known since you were a kid and who you've been able to platonically share a bed with. You were almost starting to second guess whether or not you should really go through with this, maybe Hyunjin was right about things changing, maybe it would change too much and you'd lose the closeness you had.
You didn't have time to dwell on these hesitant thoughts, Hyunjin unbuttoning his jeans and beginning to slip them down caught your full attention and you could do nothing but watch with bated breath as his stunning cock sprang free. It was too late. You had passed the point of no return, and there was nothing left to do but indulge, to let yourself dive as deep as you could and let yourself drown.
Or maybe that's just how Hyunjin was seeing it. Tonight did not go as he planned, before he deigned to open social media - all the while hiding in a tube slide at a child's park - he had gotten hurt, he was on the run, in overlapping shades of pain, his only solace being that at least you were having a good night with one of his friends. When Hyunjin had seen that the guy had ditched you for a party and some other girl, he couldn't think of a worse end to his night than leaving you to ache alone. So he ran to you, risking himself further with the exposure, but he didn't matter at that moment. He would swallow everything down, just for a chance to lift your spirits, he could deal with his own pain later, he just needed to help you otherwise he didn't think he could last the night.
He truly wasn't thinking of himself when he kissed you, Hyunjin only wanted to do whatever he could to prove to you that you are worthy of being wanted. But when you pulled him close, when you wanted more, Hyunjin realized he needed the same thing - only in a slightly different way.
Tonight had been horrible for you and Hyunjin before he came to you. He was not going to let the sun rise without something good happening for the both of you not realizing that the moment he took your hand in his, both sets of clothes now discarded on your bedroom floor, lips and tongues melting together as his protected head teasing your entrance, that he was giving the both of you the thing you wanted from each other the most.
It hurt, of course, but Hyunjin was gentle. Easing himself in and out in sections, going inch by inch and refusing to push deeper until you were accustomed. He didn't want you to cry. He refused to make you bleed, and when he finally finally bottomed out, you thought you were going to faint from how shallow your breathing was.
“Breath, baby, breath,” he whispered, kissing you tenderly, “I won't move until you breathe.”
“Hyunjin…” you whined, wrapping your arms around his neck and drinking in his gentle attention. “It's okay, you can move, it doesn't hurt,” you reassured. With a few more kisses, Hyunjin rested his forehead for yours before he slowly rolled his hips into yours.
You squeezed your eyes shut, the sensation - while not entirely painful - felt foreign, and you struggled to acclimate quickly, but you refused to let him stop. You knew you just needed to ride this out, that it would get better, and it did. You could feel your body accepting him and soon wanting more.
“Jinnie… more, it's not enough, more,” you mewled, wrapping your legs around his waist in an attempt to draw him closer.
“Okay, Beautiful, I'll take care of you. Just lay back, Jinnie will make you feel good,” Hyunjin murmured, pressing kissing into your neck and picking up his pace, earning himself a few sweet moans.
It was only when all tension left your body that Hyunjin dared to truly let himself enjoy you. Adjusting so he was on his knees, he pulled your legs up, holding each behind your knees as he began to truly fuck himself into you. Hyunjin watched as your sweet, shy moans turned into heated, wanton screams as he plowed into your gummy spot. Never did he think he would see you make such a gorgeous face or hear your pussy make such filthy squelching sounds as his dick slipped in and out of you. For a moment, Hyunjin thought he was dreaming as he watched you drown in bliss below him. If he was, he never wanted to wake up. He wanted to stay right here, in this too-good-to-be-true moment where all the worries from hours ago purged themselves from his mind.
“Hyun… Jin… Jinnie…” you gasped out, feeling the pressure from your building orgasm start to grow.
“Does it feel good, Beautiful? Are you gonna cum?” He asked in ragged breaths.
“Yes… yes, I think I'm close. Oh, please don't stop,” you begged, closing your eyes and throwing your head back onto your pillow. Almost as soon as you finished uttering those words, your body clenched around him as you came for the second time, a creamy ring coating Hyunjins dick.
“Fuck, baby,” Hyunjin groaned, slamming his dick into you more rapidly as he chased his own orgasm.
Feeling his hips beginning to stutter, you forced your tired eyes to open just in time to watch Hyunjins’ beautiful face twist in pleasure as he came, melodic moans bouncing off your walls. You did your best to memorize that face as he came down from his high.
After a moment of catching his breath, Hyunjin eased himself out of you to remove the condom, your body giving a shudder at the lack of his body heat.
“Let's clean up, yeah?” Hyunjin suggested, helping you up from the bed and leading the two of you to the bathroom. The following intimate moments of clean-up felt oddly comfortable and right. Once your post-orgasm bliss had faded, you expected an air of awkwardness to be lingerie around you both, but there never was.
“Hey, can I wear your flanel?”
“What?” Hyunjin asked with a laugh.
“That's what always happens in the movies. The girl wears the guys clothes after sex. I kinda wanna try it.”
“Just for a bit? That's dumb,” he replied but handed you his flannel anyway as he grabbed the rest of his clothes to put back on.
You needed to change out of your lingerie set, so you opted to wear nothing but his flannel, a comfort pair of panties, and some knee-high socks. You wanted to wear his shirt for the bit, so you were going to commit. Besides, he had officially seen too much for you to be shy at this point.
“Was this food meant to be for tonight?” Hyunjins voice called from the kitchen. You didn't notice he had left your room since he didn't bother to shut the door.
“Yeah,” you replied as you joined him in the dimly lit kitchen, missing his double take and blushing at your choice in attire. “I was actually going to come eat it before you showed up. It's meant for two, want some, or have you eaten?”
“I haven't. Go rest, I'll heat this up.” With a smile, you nodded, leaning up to place a peck on his still tinted cheek.
“Thank you for coming tonight, Jinnie. I needed it.”
“Yeah, of course, Beautiful,” he said as you walked into the living room, “I needed it too…” he added, but you were too far to hear.
It didn't take long for the food to be reheated and soon the two of you were nestled on the couch together, sharing a blanket in the dark living room as one of the movies you had picked out for tonight played.
“In a way, I'm kind of glad the jackass never showed up, I got to have this date with you instead,” Hyunjins said rather sincerely. It made your heart flutter.
“I'm glad too. He set you up to come to my rescue and make my night better. Maybe even better than if he had actually shown up.”
“Do you really mean that?” Hyunjin asked, his heart melting as he set down his plate to pull you close and nuzzle you, “awwwww you're too sweet!”
“Alright, alright, that's enough!” You laughed, pushing his face from yours. You had meant the gesture to be light-hearted, but your nerves spiked the instant Hyunjins head shot back in recoil, giving a small hiss of pain. “Oh my god, Hyunjin, are you okay? I'm sorry, I didn't mean-”
“No, no, no, it's ok,” he reassured, his hand hovering over his eye as if he wanted to soothe the skin but feared touching it.
“Are you sure? Let me see,” you attempted to get closer, but Hyunjins long arm held you back.
“I'm fine, Y/N, let's just watch the movie.”
You blinked at him before frowning and attempted to lunge at him again.
“Hyunjin, what are you hiding from me?”
“Nothing!” He said a little too defensively. Not in the mood to play games, you stood from the couch and walked off. Hyunjin assumed this was you pouting but ultimately dropped the matter, how wrong he was.
Stomping to the light switch, you bathed the livingstone in bright light, noticing the completely unsubtle way Hyunjin dove for cover. You weren't letting this slide. Over to the couch, you didn't even attempt to pull away the pillow Hyunjin used to cover his face, instead climbing on top of him and began to tickle his sides. Instantly, his body began to jerk and wiggle, but he was adamant on not letting you see his face. However, he was struggling to handle your body on top of him and soon had no choice but to tip the both of you off the couch in an attempt to ease the ache.
This did not work in his favor. Easily catching yourself, you now stood over him, the small fall making him release his grip on the pillow just enough for you to yank it from his hands.
Your arms paused as you held the pillow mid-air in shock. Your eyes weren't playing tricks earlier. It wasn't just a trick of the light. Blooming across his cheek bone and at the corner of his lips were two bruises, and there was even a small cut near his brow that would easily be covered by his hair, were he not on his back.
“Hyunjin, what happened to you…?” You breathed, dropping the pillow. Slowly dropping to your knees, you sat on Hyunjins hips, keeping him pinned in place so he couldn't escape.
Hyunjin didn't answer. He couldn’t even meet your eyes as your fingers barely ghosted over the discolored skin. Without realizing it, you dropped your hand on his side, only to snap your hand away when he flinched in pain. You sat as still as a statue for a few moments before reaching down and lifting his shirt, showing more discoloration.
You felt horrible. How could you not notice? How could you not see? The instant the thought popped into your head, realization hit you.
“This is why you didn't want to be by the front door… with the light right on you. You didn't worry in my room cause the lights were off, and in the bathroom and kitchen too… There was only dim lighting. It was so I couldn't see.” The look of guilt on Hyunjins face was all you needed to confirm that you were right. He was hiding this from you, but why? What happened to your Hyunjin that he came to you so hurt?
“Please don't cry, beautiful. You've already cried so much tonight.”
“Then tell me what happened,” you said firmly.
Hyunjins lips pressed together, he didn't want to open up, he especially didn't want to ruin the special evening you two were just having together. But he knew you wouldn't let this slide, and if he was honest… someone about the way you were dressed brought him back to the surprising feeling of comfort he felt while being in bed with you.
“... okay,” he eventually relented, gingerly sitting up and bumping noses with you. “But kiss me first.”
“Huh?”
“Just… please.”
He sounded so tired and defeated. Wanting nothing more than to swallow up all his pain, you didn't hesitate again, wrapping your arms around his neck and bushing your lips over his.
Hyunjin kissed you back desperately, wrapping his arms around you and holding on to you. If he didn't, he felt he would fall apart, a stark contrast to the way he held you in your doorway. You didn't realize when his hand had slipped under his flanel until his nails raked over your back, raising goosebumps in their wake as his hands traveled between your bodies.
“Hyunjin,” you called, pulling from his lips. He didn't stop, his lips dropping to your neck the moment you pulled away. “Hyunjin,” you said again, attempting to sound more stern with little success. You were melting under his touch again.
“I just want to feel you against me,” he mumbled against your skin, unbuttoning the flannel and opening it just enough to expose you, but not take it off completely. He then pulled back, once again pulling off his tee before leaning back into you, his arms snaking around you under his shirt and his face buried in the crook of your neck.
You two stayed stationery in that position for a few moments, the only sound coming from your forgotten move. Not knowing what else to do for Hyunjin, at that moment, you slid your fingers into his hair and scratched gently at his skull. Only then did Hyunjin finally relax. He finally felt the same warmth, safety, and intimacy from earlier, making it easier for him to finally explain what happened.
You weren't the only one heartbroken that night. Hyunjin had gotten involved with an older woman. He was really having fun with her. He thought she actually cared about him. She made him feel like somebody. But right when he thought things were going great, that's when everything went wrong.
What was supposed to be a normal night together turned into him finding out she was married in the worst way possibly, with her husband catching them getting hot and heavy together and beating the shit out of Hyunjin for messing around with someone he shouldn't. The guy wouldn't even believe Hyunjin when he said he didn't know the woman was married.
Turns out this woman has a history of luring young, hot guys to her with tons of spoiling and praise, only to then have her way with them until her husband finds out and beats the shit out of the poor boy. Rinse and repeat, right up to Hyunjin. The latest in a line of victims.
Hyunjin managed to get away but never before had he felt so cheap and pathetic, this wasn't the first time a girl slept with him for her own gain but sometimes about this time just made him feel so… worthless. It brought tears to his eyes to admit this, and he clung to you tightly as he cried.
You've never known Hyunjin could cry so hard, and it broke your heart to learn that this happened to him, but you were also proud of him. He said he never intended on telling anyone and that he was just going to hold on to this until the day he died, but he didn't. He told you, he let it out, and even though it broke your heart to see him like this, you wanted him to always talk to someone, even if it wasn't you. You also promised that you would do whatever it took to make him comfortable enough to open up, that while you couldn't fix his problems, you could be his safe place.
“It's funny, but… this is what we're doing right now. It's what I need. This is my safe place,” Hyunjin admitted, his lips tickling your collar bone.
“The skin contact??” By now you and Hyunjin had made your way back to your bed, settling in under the covers, each of you wearing next to nothing so Hyunjin could feel as much of you against him as possible.
“Kinda, just… the intimacy of it all. If I could, I'd be buried inside you again. I want to be as close to you as I can. It makes me feel like I'm not worthless. It makes me feel wanted.”
“Having your dick in someone makes you feel wanted?” You teasingly asked with a giggle.
“No, baby,” Hyunjin replied with a laugh, lifting his head from your chest to fix you with a soft stare. “I only feel like this because it's you. The only girl I've shared years of my life and my darkest secrets. The only girl who trusts me so much she'd ask me to be her first and who loves me enough to sit in and listen to my problems the same night.” You were too stunned to speak, but you were sure Hyunjin could see just how red your face was. “You're my closest and most trusted friend, Y/N. I think sex and stuff like that will only feel this special, this safe and warm, with you.” It was also because Hyunjin was secretly in love with you too, but he decided to keep that part to himself, he wanted to enjoy this moment, this look on your face, for just a little while longer.
“I… I think so too, Hyun. It won't ever mean the same with anyone else,” you said, decidingly also refusing to admit the feelings you've been harboring for Hyunjin.
A sweet smile spread across Hyunjin's face, his eyes curving into crescents. You knew you were essentially digging your own grave, dooming yourself to what you assumed was going to be a mainly physical relationship, but you couldn't bring yourself to care. Not when Hyunjin looked so irresistible and said such endearments, snuggling against you and showering your skin with kisses, leading you two to get lost in each other again until you fell asleep in each other's arms, only for him to cling to you the all throughout the next morning. If you could just have more moments like this with him, it would all be worth it. Anything to be the safe space for the boy you were so desperately in love with.
○●☆♡☆●○
“So that's it, that's how you and Hyunjin became, well, you and Hyunjin. You were in love with him, and you were his security blanket.”
“I mean, kinda,” you replied, polishing off the last of your water bottle and opening another. “Sex with me, at least at the beginning, meant so much to him because I was someone who really cared about him. He never had to doubt if I was doing things with him for clout or for some sick kick. That gave him a sense of safety, and it gave him space to open up. And I was only too eager to please cause not only was I completely in love with him, but he did mean so much to me beyond that. He was a friend who put everything aside, even his own issues, to look out for me.”
“Which is why you feel bad you can't be as close to him as you used to be and why when he keeps things to himself, it bothers you so much.”
“Exactly.” Heaving a deep sigh, you rummaged through your pile of trash to hopefully find an unopened piece of candy. Meanwhile, Felix sat silently next to you, feeling sympathetic to your situation.
“I take it you and Changbin haven't talked about any of this?” Felix asked tentatively, making you pause your search.
“... No, I'm not even sure if it's worth bringing up,” you admitted, laying back against Felix's mattress and watching his ceiling fan turn. “It was such a big part of my life, but it's over now. I made my choice, and I chose myself. I'm finally with someone who's as much mine as I am theirs. I don't want to throw a wrench into things by telling him about something that ended before we even got together.”
“So you have no regrets then?”
“None. I'm happy with Changbin, even if I don't get to see him as often as I like.”
Just then, the sound of Chan's door opening and closing caught yours and Felix's attention. It was the first time you've heard any noise coming from him since you even got to the boys' shared apartment, and upon checking the time, you noticed that it was already 11 in the evening.
“Hey, how often do you get to see Bin?” Felix asked.
“Barely… I see him just slightly more often than I see my own roommate.”
“I hardly see my roommate anymore either,” Felix said, a deep sense of dread building in him. “How… How long has it been since you and Bin started dating?” You swallowed hard at his question, choosing instead to focus on the sound of Chan rustling through the kitchen before returning to his room. You knew where Felix was going with this.
“It's only been a little over a month.”
A tense silence settled between the two of you, neither one of you daring to say it. But you knew what he was thinking. You could feel the worry radiating off of Felix's slender body, seeping into your bones. You had essentially severed your deepest and longest lasting relationship to be with Changbin, and now, due to one stroke of chance you barely get to see him and can't even turn to the person from your second longest lasting relationship for aid.
What's going to happen to your freshly established relationship if this demand for 3racha keeps going? How will you survive not being able to see, not only your boyfriend, but one of your best friends who championed your budding connection to said boyfriend? Especially when the only deep connection you had left was someone you were desperately attempting to put space around?
These worries troubled you. Long after Felix's attempts to sedate them, long after you bid him good night and drove yourself home, and long after, you readied yourself inside your all too silent apartment and clambered into bed. You had been so happy for 3racha, so determined to support them, but now all that lingered over head was the fact that in one fleeting moment you realized you no longer had the steady foundation built by the three most precious people in your life.
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Well... this chapter certainly ended up taking on a life of its own, and as I mentioned in this post, it ended up coming to mean a bit more to me than the other chapters.
Anyway, I had intended on this to be a bonus chapter, but I thought it flowed better as part of the main story. I'm getting better at placing the back stories/flashbacks.
If you go back to the first couple of chapters, you can see I was formatting the story differently. I was struggling with the build-up of the story and then found my stride in later chapters. If I allow myself to be a bit delulu for a moment, if i ever get my E. L. James or Anna Todd moment, I'd definitely go back and re-write those beginning segments.
Taglist: @groovygroovyhyunjin @hhwangsmoon @luvyblossom @doggezz@kayleefriedchicken @hyunjinhoexxx
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respectthepetty · 11 months
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Plant Daddies - Episode 3
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This isn't about colors. This is about the Triangular Theory of Love in Hidden Agenda, but it's like lasagna; it has layers. Tee, is this about Step by Step?!
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I wrote about plant symbolism in Hidden Agenda in Plant Daddies at Tea Time:
Yellow Chrysanthemum, the tea Zo drinks, represents slighted or neglected love and the taste of its tea is sweet.
And Red Roselle, the juice Joke drinks, represents romantic love or passion and the taste of its juice is sour.
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The boys stick to those drinks.
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But this week they switched without any comment.
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Also, Zo told two stories this week from his Legends of Love book:
Red Roses get their color from the blood of Adonis mixing with the tears of Aphrodite seeping into the ground which caused the roses to change from white to red.
Yellow Sunflowers exist because Clytie fell in love with the sun god, Apollo, so when he left her, she looked at the sun so long that she grew roots and turned into a sunflower.
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Both stories deal with a person losing the person she loves. However, the roses story is about love being taken away, and the sunflower story is about love leaving. Also, Zo stated he would cry if he lost his love, while Joke stated he wouldn't leave that person in the first place.
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Yet Nita's take on the story is to move on from the past and find someone else.
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Once again, this isn't about colors, but we now have two separate occasions where plants/flowers are included in the narrative, and those items are color-coded yellow and red, which only adds to the way we are seeing those colors pop up in the show with a third color.
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I mentioned in the Plant Daddies at Tea Time post that primary colors seem to be intentional in the show because this episode, the only colored clothing Joke handed Zo when they were shopping was yellow.
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Yet by the end, Zo was in blue with his yellow backpack.
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So what does this have to do with the Triangular Theory of Love?
Well, all things come in threes:
The Primary Colors:
Red
Yellow
Blue
These are the basic colors needed to make all other colors; therefore, all colors start from these three, and all colors stem from these three colors.
The Love Triangle:
Joke likes Zo.
Zo likes Nita.
Nita likes Joke?
Issue - We don't know if Nita does still have feelings for Joke because her response to the story seemed as if she would get over Joke.
The Dating Rules:
Rule #1 - Do not gawk at your love interest.
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Rule #2 - Ease into it. Don't rush. Oh, AND CONSENT!
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Rule #3 - Do whatever Joke says.
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Rule #3 - Stay true to yourself starting with the first date.
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Issue - Joke seems to have problems sticking to his own rules.
The Triangular Theory of Love:
"It breaks down love into three components."
Passion - Zo is passionate about pursuing Nita.
Intimacy - Joke tells Zo he must ask Nita out to build this.
Commitment - And once they begin to date, this will evolve.
Issue - Zo already notices his heart isn't fluttering around Nita the way he thought it would, yet his heart seems to be doing something around Joke, which is maybe why Joke continues to advise Zo to do some self-reflection and try new things.
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Because just like Khai and Third in the correctly titled Theory of Love, this process isn't just for Zo, but Joke:
Passion - Joke is passionate about getting Zo by any means necessary.
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Commitment - Joke is committed to this bit, he made Zo give him explicit promises (to work together, to help him get in the debate team), and he already stated he would be committed in a relationship during their story time.
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Intimacy - This is what Joke is lacking, which is why he developed this huge scheme to get Zo to spend more time with him.
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The Balance:
Is this a story about finding the middle ground between two extremes?
So far, we have a story about Joke, a passionate guy who drinks sour red roselle juice and openly admits to being aggressive about love like the thorns of a rose, trying to develop intimacy with a boy who drinks sweet yellow chrysanthemum tea and says he would just stare at what he can't have than go after it like a sunflower in order to show his commitment . . .
Then both of these boys need each other to find that balance between their two ways of loving.
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Joke has launched in elaborate plan to get Zo while Zo was willing to admire Nita from a distance for the rest of his life. Zo can't just stare at his crush (Rule #1), and Joke can't rush into things (Rule #2), yet neither has been truly themself from the start to get the other person (Rule #3).
In order to make this work:
Joke needs to learn sweet intimacy.
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And Zo needs to understand burning passion.
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So they can find a balance and be able to commit to each other when the time comes.
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And maybe that will help their friends find a good balance between the secrets they hide in the dark and the looks they give in the light.
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And maybe even rethink how they see things so they can find new meaning in what has been in front of them the entire time.
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Because that look was more than what Kot said. Right?
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