#maybe thats why i dont like 'advertising myself' in places either

[maxillo]

just now occured to me that maybe I have vastly different expectations and presentation methods of content specifically because i got my start on wikia

[askpizzaartemis]

I feel like my tumblr is the only place that I can just vent my feelings anymore and yet I dont utilise it because no one is here anymore so there's no real opportunity for support. 😞

I'm feeling a bit stressed because of my study commitments clashing my student mentor position.

I dont really think I'm being effective at either position right now. My commitments are directed at my studies, thats what I want to do....

With the student mentor position, I'm able to help other people with their studies. I like doing that, but recently we've been attempting to define what we do and making the mentor program better. We're attempting to make a video, advertising our faces and our skills so students know who we are.... with Covid, things have gotten harder. This has affected so many things.

It's hard to type it all out, im just frustrated because i keep attempting to help move things forwards and be that progress, but people keep getting in the way and stopping me and I'm not sure if it's the universe challenging me or cautioning me and at this point it's just frustrating as all hell. I keep losing my temper and the frustration and tears are real. I don't even know why I let it get to me.

It could just be that I'm feeling those childhood patterns of wanting to follow a plan and do the right thing and I'm afraid of failing and being revealed as ... ineffective at being a mentor.

I haven't seen a student to help them in a while -_- and mmmmm just feeling kind of shitty about it all and wishing I didn't. I'll bounce back fast enough, it's just been rough the past couple of months. Deaths in the family keep piling up and such. Sigh everyone is doing it tough, makes it harder dealing with each other because we can't see the pain at face value.

This is me, signing out. I'll get better. Just have to give myself some time and maybe have a chat with my supervisor.

Thanks for reading xx

[whaleyoufeedmenuggets]

Im too lazy to look at the questions so DO ALL OF THEM. (if you dont wanna then go on a random number generator and get 5 random numbers)

ITS REALLY LONG BUT I DID IT KJSHADJS HERE GOES i love oversharing my lifealso im putting a read more line bc its hella long

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

water bottles

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

ehhh depends on my mood. i’d say it’s (dark) chocolate most of the time (love that 70% dark chocolate mmMmMm)

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

cotton candy!! except when it gets all over my face and hair o no

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

common report book comments included

- very active

- bright

- “the live wire of the class”

- usually distracted but still does well

- mischievous

- playful

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

bottles so that i can close it and save the rest for later and not have to chug it yeet

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

sportswear #sweatpantsalldayeveryday

7. earbuds or headphones?

def headphones but they’re inconvenient sometimes :/

8. movies or tv shows?

tv shows!! (also, my adhd ass can’t get through a movie without zoning out oops)

9. favorite smell in the summer?

i haven’t experienced /real/ summer (thank u singapore’s tropical climate) but i rly like the smell of rain :”)

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

making up excuses to skip pe

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

belvitas before morning practice

croissant sandwich and chocolate milk after practice

if there’s no practice, then scrambled eggs from the dining hall lolol

if i’m too lazy to go to the dining hall, then cereal

12. name of your favorite playlist?

it’s literally called jams and the description is “a clusterfuck of stuff i’ve jammed to at some point”

13. lanyard or key ring?

key ring

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

gummy bears/sour patch kids

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

death of a salesman - arthur miller

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

with one foot up on the chair and the other leg sitting normally

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

a pair of asics sneakers

18. ideal weather?

15ºc/60ºf when its like cool but not too cold but also not ridiculously hot and also when theres no insane wind (a light breeze is fine)

19. sleeping position?

on my left side and hugging a pillow/bolster/soft toy

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

i like the feeling of pen and paper but im disorganized as hell so an apple pencil + ipad makes a good enough substitute

21. obsession from childhood?

frogs (i’ve loved them since i was 3 hehe)

22. role model?

a dude i used to train with for a while in 2014. he retired last year but he’s always looked out for me like an older brother since we trained together (he’s 8 years older than me lmao) and even thought i’m so far away rn he still checks in on me and stuff and idk he’s probably one of the swimmers i respect the most.

23. strange habits?

i cant fall asleep at night if im not hugging something.  like. it could be a pillow. or a soft toy. literally anything. once on a school trip i hugged a pair of sweatpants to sleep bc i legit cant fall asleep if im not hugging something.i have no problem falling asleep in class/on buses/cars/planes though.

24. favorite crystal?

idk i never really paid enough attention to crystals to actually have a favorite and know their names. they’re all rly pretty tho.

25. first song you remember hearing?

uhh h h i honestly can’t remember. probably some classical music bc i played the violin and that was my first experience of music that i was actually aware of????

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

switch on the aircon and take a nap / sit in bed on netflix/playing on my nintendo switch. and swimming outdoors i guess.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

switch on the heater and take a nap / sit in bed on netflix/playing on my nintendo switch.

do u see a pattern here

28. five songs to describe you?

jet lag - simple plan (bc time zones suck and i miss my fam & friends)

avalanche - bring me the horizon (pretty much sums up how tf my brain feels)

high hopes - p!atd

astronaut - simple plan

the reckless and the brave - all time low

29. best way to bond with you?

doing dumb shit with me

also Quality Time™️ like idk even if we’re chilling and doing our own shit i like just spending time with people im comfortable enough with

30. places that you find sacred?

idk

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

a hoodie and sweatpants

for no reason other than that’s what i wear 90% of the time

32. top five favorite vines?

I AM CONFUSION!!! AMERICA EXPLAIN

this bitch empty. yeet.

im in my mom’s car VROOM VROOM

the one of that dad playing the saxophone (???) and the kid slamming the oven door open and shut

road works ahead “haha yea sure hope it does!”

33. most used phrase in your phone?

either lmao or lolol or LMFAO or yeet

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

gOD i had spotify ads stuck in my head all the time before i switched to premium and now i cant remember any of them (thank god)

35. average time you fall asleep?

i’d say 12:30-1ish

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

the tROLL FACE MEME LIKE those rage faces idk what they’re called but BASICALLY THOSE 2010-2012 era memes

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

suitcase!!! i like sitting on them and yeeting myself around on them or getting people to push me around and then falling off

38. lemonade or tea?

lemonade

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

ngl i havent had either of them before

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

so in jc2 (aka 12th grade), for some reason PEOPLE WERE PUTTING PRE-PACKAGED HARD BOILED EGGS ALL OVER THE SCHOOL. like they were still in their wrappers and all but u could open ur schoolbag and find like 5 eggs in there. and no one knew where they came from. i think at one point there were even eggs hanging from the pull-up bars. all i know is that they were everywhere and people in my batch still remember it as the egg invasion of acjc.

41. last person you texted?

my mom

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

def jacket!!! especially when they have zips hehe

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

hoodie

44. favorite scent for soap?

idk man depends on my mood

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

sci-fi bc im a fricken nerd

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

shirt and sweats

47. favorite type of cheese?

cheddarrr also i like mozzerrella sticks

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

a fineapple B)

lmao jk ummmm maybe a watermelon bc when u hit it it sounds hollow, just like how my skull would sound if someone hit it (h a)

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

here for a good time not for a long time

never give up without a fight

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

idk probably some dumb meme. i laugh at a lot of stuff like i laugh anything even mildly funny. some that i can think of off the top of my head are:

- i was tryna type ducky but typed fucky instead and sOmEOnE (could be the person who submitted this ask, idk tho) changed my facebook messenger nickname to fucky and the notification was like ”poopy butthole changed your nickname to fucky” and i think that’s still the funniest sentence i’ve read in my whole life

- one time we went to mcdonalds and a friend said mcfluffy instead of mcflurry and idk why but i laughed so hard at that

- once @doduo and i spent half a chinese lesson cutting out random faces from the chinese newspaper and sticking them randomly all over the classroom and idk. it was the funniest thing ever. until the teacher came over and confiscated my scissors rip.

51. current stresses?

- an essay draft (that i am procrastinating rn by doing this, oops)

- CANADIAN TRIALS (but thats a good kind of stress)

- submitting a proposal for a group project but none of my groupmates are freaking replying my texts ugh

52. favorite font?

avenir next!! i find san serif fonts way easier to read than serif lolol.i like helvetica neue too.

53. what is the current state of your hands?

dry af but also i just got my nails done so they pretty rn hehe

54. what did you learn from your first job?

i…havent had a real job yet

55. favorite fairy tale?

idk i was never rly one for fairy tales even as a kid.

56. favorite tradition?

chinese new year when we get CASH and we spend 3 days just eating junk yEET im rly sad im gonna be missing it the next few years tho

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

hh h h hh hhh hh hh they’re pretty personal i don’t /really/ wanna put it out here but i can text you the answer to this if you want (i’m perfectly fine with that!!)

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

- i think i’m pretty intuitive!!! i can guess anyone’s mbti if i’ve spent enough time with them/gotten a detailed enough description of them /winks/ and i can read people pretty well in general and i can draw links to themes/symbols in lit pretty well….???

- i’m somewhat decent at lettering…i think

- i’m good at pull-ups and also vertical jumps i’m secretly a froge

- i’m decent at photography…i guess….

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

yeet

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

pokemon !!

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

/sweats/ i’m not very good at remembering lines from books/movies/shows WELP

62. seven characters you relate to?

JAKE PERALTA - b99

rosa diaz - b99

linguine - ratatouille (he’s permanently confused and he let a ratto take over his job bc he had no idea what he was doing like damn what a big mood)

dory - finding nemo/finding dory (i relate to the forgetfulness)

percy jackson

kale bae /winks/

mitt (during bad phases) /winks again, but sadly/

63. five songs that would play in your club?

idek man i wouldnt even be at my own club i’d be at home taking a nap i’ll just ask someone else to handle my playlist

64. favorite website from your childhood?

club penguin !!!

65. any permanent scars?

yE one of them was from jumping onto a treadmill going at 13km/h 2 years ago bc i thought i was a good idea

66. favorite flower(s)?

i dont have any

67. good luck charms?

i eat pancakes for breakfast on meet days!!!! altho i think this is more of a habit than a good luck charm tbh lmao.

also i guess pip???? he’s my emotional support narwhal :’)

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

durian. i cant stand the stuff or anything flavored like it ugh.

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

red food coloring is derived from beetles

70. left or right handed?

right

71. least favorite pattern?

overly-floral patterns i guessssss. also i hate wearing stripes.

72. worst subject?

chinese

besides that, math and physics

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

i rly like vanilla ice cream and fries

also i would eat ketchup with nearly anything

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

i usually just suck it up and go to sleep when it comes to pain but i guess an 8??? idk. i usually take advil/ibuprofen only for fevers

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

i got my first loose tooth on january 11 2005 and it fell out on january 18 2005 & it was a tuesday (pls don’t ask me how i remember this bc i dont know)

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

tater tots

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

cactus i guess. idk im not good at plants.

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

grocery store sushi (it was pretty decent in singapore so yeeeee lmao also i ate a lot of that as a kid)

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

its the same photo for both so yeAh

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

earth

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

idk i always called them fireflies

82. pc or console?

console I LOVE THE FEEL OF BUTTONS

83. writing or drawing?

drawing (more like doodlign for me bc i cant draw for shit)

84. podcasts or talk radio?

neither but if i rlllllly had to choose then podcasts i guessss s sss

84. barbie or polly pocket?

neither LMAO i gave all my barbies haircuts when i was a kid bc i didnt know what to do with them

85. fairy tales or mythology?

mythology for sure!! i love greek mythology (may or may not be bc of percy jackson lolol)

86. cookies or cupcakes?

cookies

87. your greatest fear?

losing those i love and care about (could be drifting or actual death it goes both ways)

88. your greatest wish?

rn, for my essay to write itself

for the short-term, to make the olympics (and WUGs…and worlds…and sea games…and asian games…and commonwealth games lmao)

for the long-term, uhhh idk. i just wanna live a life i’m satisfied with and to have a job i actually like and to be able to support my parents

89. who would you put before everyone else?

my mom

90. luckiest mistake?

i always say that i regret doing a year of college in singapore instead of coming here for freshman year but if i’d come in a year earlier like i was supposed to, i proba wouldn’t have made it past swim team tryouts and i made some pretty great friends in my first year of college soooo it all worked out i guessi cant think of any others rn

91. boxes or bags?

bags

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

fairy lights are rly pretty!!but i like natural light :”)

93. nicknames?

deb

debs

debo

debbo

alpha childuhh h h i think thats about it??? i cant remember any others

94. favorite season?

spring’s pretty great rni like fall too (before it gets cOLd)

95. favorite app on your phone?

insta/tumblr/telegram

96. desktop background?

a photo of me looking rly cool at the starting blocks before a race B)

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

4 - mine (singapore & US), my mom’s and my dad’s

98. favorite historical era?

uhh h h idk the ice age seemed pretty cool haha sike it was actually coldmedieval times seemed pretty cool too like damn i want a suit of armorWHEW I SPENT WAY TOO MUCH TIME ON THIS but i had fun so yeet

also if you read all the way down here ily and you’re cool

[tumblunni]

Hhhh bunni legs pain accomplishment day

I HAVE FINISHED THE SHOPPING OF HELL

Tfw u only get paid 4 days before christmas and have to rush everything aaaa

It was bad enough today so i'm so glad i got it done before it got even more busy!

Misc boring essentials i bought for myself: new phone charger cos broken, new trousers cos i spilt hair bleach on my only two pairs, new shoes cos my left shoe literally snapped in half down the middle like wtf even happened there, cheap pink hair dye from a discount store cos i wanna try different colours but in a thrifty way

Now for EXCITING CHRISTMAS PRESENT TIME!!!!

First off SO MANY pc and xbox 360 games from Every Charity Shop In Cardiff, St Mellons, Rumney and Llanrumney. My sis has been trying to find some games to play but was like 'dont worry about it i can just wait til the charity shop gets something good'. So i thought i'd get some stocking stuffers via all the charity shops on my side of town. By our powers combined we will blitz the entire vale of glamorgan's discount gaming scene!!! I found SO MANY good stuff for £1/£2/£3 like holy shit i love when charity shops dont know the proper price for shit XD

speaking of which i also found a WEBCAM for £2! If its that cheap it probanly isnt great but itd still be fun to play around with! :D and the same store also had an old vintage G1 My Little Pony coffee mug in excellent condition. Oh god the nostalgia! My support worker gave me a lift to llanrumney so i had to awkwardly explain why i had an armful of weird 80s mugs and big teary eyes!

Speaking of vintage, i found this new vintage toys and games shop in cardiff called Galactic Attic! The name hooked me in and then they actually DID have pokemon inside! As well as all sorts of stuff ranging from 40s to 90s, wow! There was even a lil pile of old 90s gaming magazines in the corner, covered up by a bunch of boxes. I'm glad i noticed them! I got the announcemt issues for pokemon diamond pearl and platinum in a weird old pokemon fan magazine that i loved as a kid. Im kinda sad that nowadays we just have one official magazine fpr each console and not the wild madness of amateaur journalists failing horribly to get news from japan. Shame they didnt have Beckett Pokemon cos that one was infamous fot drawing its own terrible interpretations of pokemon sprites to avoid copyright. And speaking of terrible, they even had bootleg pokemon!! I talked to the cashier and he was like "you know those are fake right" and i was like "yeah its so nostalgic thats why i want em" and he was like "lol yeah they actually sell pretty well so i'm not mad my supplier ripped me off". It was a pretty good and awesomely terrible fake at the same time? There was this exact replica of some japanese display stand for the product and then the actual pokeball toys looked perfect BUT the mini pokemon inside were.. Really not. I am so damn happy with the surprise inside my one, surprise inside has never been more accurate! I can't take a picture now cos my phone is charging but REGICHEETO. Just..just imagine that, and whatever you're imagining it is probably worse. I love it so fuckin much. Also less hilariously there were some bootleg mini pika plushies with actually (as far as i can tell) their own unique design? They have cute lil winter scarves and an art style that reminds me of the Magical Pokemon Adventure manga. A really cute and good bootleg that i would have loved to see as a real product! The only way you can even tell its a bootleg is because there's no marking on the tail. I dunno, maybe if i still have some brown fabric in the cupboard i could fix it? Or maybe its unique tail makes it even more special! I mean there's Cosplay Pikachu with its double tail marking so maybe this is her cousin Accessory Pikachu with no markings? He just likes wearing scarfs and hats and stuff. OMG HE'S THE POKEMON GO EVENT PIKACHU!!!!!!

Along the miscness of finding a few things for myself, i also found: cute lil pokemon pencilcase, kingdom hearts blind bag, cheap copy of Fruits Basket volume 1 cos the new remake is coming out soon and i wanna Get Hype! The KH blind bag was really weird cos i didnt know they now have an entirely different set as well as the keychains i bought before. Its kind of a shame the art style doesnt match cos vexen is only in the keychains, alas! But i do really love these ones! Theyre apparantly made by funko pop but dont have the art style AT ALL, they just look like really accurate versions of the characters in mini form. Its kinda like the 'distance animation' style in steven universe? (Incidentally they also do SU ones but they missed the opportunitu to actually use the distance style, lol) I got a Sora in his kh2 outfit and i'm decently happy with that, its not one i really wanted but its not a bad one either. But i think now i've tried the fun of surprise once i'll just buy the actual ones i want off ebay later. They have roxas in his organization outfit! With a happy smile!!!

Oh oh and then EVEN MORE XBOX GAMES OF THE WILD THRIFT STORE VOID! i managed to find the whole fable series, two assassins creeds, saints row, gta, some misc shooter games and racers that she wanted but i dont know much about, mass effect 2 and ff13. I think maybe one or two others cos i cant fully remember right now. Theyre all in separate bags strewn across the room and my shoulders feel like death so i'll sort through them later.

Aaaand i wrote up like 14 paragraphs more but tumblr didnt save my draft fpr some fuckin reason and now im way too tired to do it again

Briefer summary:

* had a huge horrible panic attack getting stuck in a skyscraper shopping centre clothes place full of screaming and every perfume smell and WHY DO I HAVE TO NAVIGATE THIS HELL MAZE TO FIND THE ESCALATOR and seriously i was my most primal animalistic self and i went full fight or flight on this bitch

* had a lovely time visiting Cool Shop Grandma and rambled the story of how i met her and how we became friends but hhh too tired to rewrite. But anyway today i gave her a christmas pikachu plush as thanks for everything and cos her shop is moving on to its next location soon. She got really teary and gave me a big hug! She's gonna be at a comic con in march so i hope i'm able to go to that and see her again.

* went on a wild goose chase looking for harry potter merchandise and eventually found a gold plated replica of the movie prop version of the time turner and HELL YES my sis will love it!

* rambled about several market stalls that were cool but i can make a separate post about that in the morning when i find their contact details to advertise them

* got a plushie delibird and decided to take selfies with it everywhere to try and fight my social anxiety somehow. We went to a neat lil restaurant and had cheesy fries and a coke float!

* asked for a refund on an item for the first time ever and im proud of myself

* went off on a mystery bus trip to buy a preowned 3ds and pokemon games from a lady in an online preowned stuff facebook group and it didnt go horribly and i am glad! She was really nice and i witnessed A Good And Smart Parenting Moment and man it healed my heart and i wish i'd been raised that way. Again i'll probably ramble about the details later when im less tired, it really touched my heart seriously! And now i have MANY GIFTS FOR SIS!

* in total i was out present shopping from 9am to 8pm and i clicked my shoulder out of its socket for a split second from.all the heavy bags. Now im in a lot of aches and i need a sleeps

The End

[deeeelightfuldee]

Is your hair long enough to pull over your face like a moustache? :3 yes i believe so. a lot was cut off recently but it’s still got a little length

Do you ever find yourself making up survey questions throughout the day? ummm sometimes yes

Who is your favourite online friend? would we consider K to be that?

What was the last thing you tried for the first time? some chorizo stuff.

The last thing you said outloud: How loud were you speaking? I was singing softly to my music

What is your favourite nail polish colour to wear or see on others? I don’t have a go-to anymore but I loooove the pale pink look on others and myself.

What was the last thing you learned? i think i learned a lot last night from K about our situation.

How warm do you like your showers / baths to be? not warm. either cold or lukewarm lol.

The song you're listening to right now: What lyrics did they just sing? next year all our troubles will be miles away. (gooooosh that’d be nice)

Are there any advertisments / commercials you actually like? Which? if they make me laugh lol

Which holidays do you decorate your house for, if any? Christmas, fall, fourth of july, and birthdays

How often do you visit your relatives? I see my oldest brother every week at a minimum. I see my sister multiple times per year and then almost daily on camera. I hardly see my other brother cus thats his choice. I see my gram every like 20 mins lol. I see my mom daily. I might see my dad once a year if I happen to be in town for a birthday for my nephew/niece. I see one of my uncles every saturday and then the other maybe 3-4 times per year. I basically never ever see my dads side of the family.

In your opinion, what is the scariest natural disaster? sink holes. NOPE.

What design is on your bed sheets? polkadots.

If your house was a hotel, what would it's star rating be? 3.

What is your favourite brand of fizzy juice / soda? diet coke pls or sierra mist.

As a kid, did you use toothpaste that wasn't minty? (Like orange, etc) I could never do the bubble gum one, it instantly made me want to gag. I could do the cinnamon once in a while but usually i preferred mint.

What is your favourite vegetable? almost all of them. rn i am hardcore craving some cauliflower

Do you any other countries' timezones saved to your computer / mobilephone? lol no

What was the last musical you watched? hamilton

Which meal of the day is your favourite to eat out for? dinner

Is your username the same for every website? eh no.

Do you enjoy taking photographs? What do you usually take them of? I love to yes. my pets, outdoors, nephews/niece, or myself lol

What do you have in your bookmarks? (Online) gosh a lot. i need to clean that out sometime.

Do you have a lucky number? Why is it so lucky? no.

Do you set your browser to remember passwords? sometimes if its something fairly unimportant. 

Describe the perfect burger: a kick booty gf bun (have yet to come across one of these) with a really good butter burger. onion, lettuce, mayo, tickle of salt n pepper. if it’s homemade then tomato. maybe some bacon if im in the mood

What was the last thing you made yourself to eat? i had a snack of a reese pumpkin

What is something most people find ugly that you find cute? oh gosh, i have no idea. i don’t really pay attention to fashions that others like or dislike.

Have you ever stood on a sea creature while at the beach? D: UGH vomit yes. one time I was camping on the beach with my sister n brother when I was going florida for college visits back like 12 years ago lol. and i guess there was a really bad storm the night before we got in and somehow it caused this wash-up issue with the fish. the beach was COVERED in dead fish and it was SO gross. it was literally a nightmare.

What's worse: Speaking in all caps or all lowercase? lol i enjoy both

What's your favourite place to go to for fast food? buona. mannn that sounds so dang good.

How many fillings do you have? i dont recall. I have a couple 

Do you prefer having cold or warm hands? warm. when my hands are cold they like hardly function.

Have you ever had a mud fight? as a kid

When you see people in love is your first reaction, "Ew" or "Cute"? xP lolol 99.9% of the time I am happy for them. but sometimes there’s a slight “ugh.” feeling lol

Have you ever woken up from a dream and thought it had actually happened? yes. all the time.

Are you obsessed with a certain countries culture? (Not your own) obsessed? no.

Do you know anyone who closely resembles someone else? (With no relations) not that comes to mind right now. I’m sure I have seen that but nothing pops out.

When your sunburn peels, do you leave it or pull at it? you can’t even tell me that ish isn’t the most satisfying thing to do. of course I peel. but i have luckily not been burned like that in years.

What type of food do you find yourself craving most? (Sweet, meat, etc) lately savory/salty. i really love sweets but we haven’t had groceries in so long and so some down-home good cookin sounds bomb.

Why did you last go to the doctors? I had a virtual visit when I had covid.

Are you good at Name That Tune? oh ya

Name something that frightened you as a kid that you like now: tornadoes

Do you prefer pictures or videos? either lol

The people who pop in your "Who you might know" list:Do you ever know them? Its a solid 50/50 Do you ever highlight excerpts of books that you particularly enjoy? not usually no

How easy is it for you to recognise what quote / lyric something is from? lyrics are my jam man

On a scale of one to ten, how tired are you currently? i am so DANG wiped from hardcore cleaning almost 9 hours straight. doesnt help i havent really eaten. but tomorrow will be a recovery day 

[mabsj]

10/01/20

Part 2...

Soo... On the night itself, after done packing our luggage, we depart from our house... We reach B.Point Johor Bahru at around 9.30pm... Traffic at the causeway was quite smooth... Not that heavy... So we grab our dinner, buy some snacks and drinks, pump petrol and top up TnG and check my car engine to lookout any unneccessary problems like leakage or something... Everything looks fine and we depart from B.Point at 10.30pm... The journey took about 3-4hrs drive to our hotel... That is Pacific Regency Hotel Suites... Yeah man... Suites... Because we are staying there for 5days... So its a long rest for me and my family... My intention is we depart the next morning but the check in time is at 3pm and my cousin ask me the day before our actual date check in if we want to go to Genting Highland on the day... So after discussing with my wife and agreeing to it, I make a slight changes... We depart that night... The journey were quite smooth indeed... Except for fast cars overtaking and dark roads but thats normal...

Both my son were fast asleep... Except for my wife... She accompany me throughout my drive... Lots of her topics she talked to me... She ask why I love to drive long trips for holiday, what does it feel and what makes me want to drive up for long trips etc...

Well... I love travelling when I was still a small boy... My dad usually brings our family for holiday trip... KL, Thailand... Malaysia is enough for us... Except for driving... I follow my uncle go for holiday trip... Its like you are visiting other country that is somehow different sensation from Singapore... Places like you seen on TV or advertisement... Amusement park, roller coaster, hotel swimming pool, whatsoever... But sadly, Im not into that type of person... Im into nature... Thats comes to driving... Why I love to drive up for holidays... Many people do say, its gonna be tiring, dangerous, traffic jams here and there, people wont give way to you whatsoever... But its depends on you... Different country different style of driving... My first ever drive up is to Perak... 9hrs journey... And that journey is my cousin(Sadiq) engagement day... We go there with 2vehicles... One is a ownself driving 12seater van, and another one is a car... So I have to seat at the car as a backup... My cousin know I can drive... But if desperate, Im on duty...

But it happend... They each drove like 2hrs each and when it comes to me, its all the way till we reach to petrol station to pump some petrol and to their surprise, I was driving straight 4hrs non-stop... Hahahaha... Its tiring but the fun of you driving while exploring the view of the nature makes your fatigue gone... Thats how my passion of driving up to another country is born... Because when you see, dont matter what you are passionate with, be it a barber, hairstylist, blogger, traveller or reviewer, chef or even housewife or midwife, its your passion and hobby... That thing makes you feel energetic... And some more, their nature scenery is what you dont get to see in singapore city life... You can feel the cold breeze wind, you can feel different air surrounded you, you can feel the environmental is totally different... Why I prefer driving is because, if you take bus of flight, you have to take either bus or cab which is so hard to get or even found one... And you travel where people frequently go... Is where you see on the internet... But when you drive, you see differently... Along the journey you may found beautiful magnificant scenery... That is nature... Where bus or flight couldnt stop or land... You may not found out yourself by internet but you can only found out by the local people... Thats is why I prefer driving myself up...

So continue with the story, we reach the the hotel at KL at around 1am... Quite fast... I could remember I drove 140km/h with just my car top speed only like 180km/h... The name of our Hotel at KL is Pacific Regency Hotel Suites... Sound like luxury isn't it ? Its an quite old hotel... Like maybe 7-10yrs old... Very convenient if you guys were want to go to KL Tower... It just opposite of the building... Just exit the hotel and there it is, the entrance... But sadly our room view is not facing there... We take Deluxe King Suite... Quite spacious but the view could say upon 10, I would give it 6/10... Ahahhaa... Because we didnt get any nice view... But overall the room is spacious... Didnt manage to get take a photo of our room because we are too tired after a long drive... But the room design material is more on business type... The wardrobe, table, is made up of wood... Not sure what kind of wood maybe plywood or something... Or maybe from IKEA ??? Hahahahahaha... Thats so bad of me... Well... Our task is, buy some clothes materials for my wife and kids for their Hari Raya clothes... We finish that task as expected on our 2nd day... Overall rating for the hotel upon 10, I would give 7/10... Why... Because the parking and the room service... The parking we have to pay every single day that is Rm10... Atleast if I were to pay for season parking I dont mind so there's no hassle for me once I park my car in and out... If not I have to wait till the next morning to get an exit paid ticket and have to get new ticket again... Their system is still outdated... But maybe to me they are trying to earn it and update their system to be better... Who knows... Ahahahaha... Continue next.. on part 3...

[kpopbush-blog]

Rain - Sehun X Luhan

water droplets trickled down the glass of the window outside. it began to rain, eventually raining harder. for many years, i had been crying, just as the clouds are. i cried so much that crying hurt, my head throbbed, i felt dizzy, and unwell. the dull rain was nothing compared to my tears, though the rain was always acknowledged unlike my mere salty tears. no one knew. not one person. they were all just thick headed. i had not ever come across someone who actually thought "maybe he is depressed." never. not like anyone had the place to actually care, at least tried, or wanted to. i pulled my long navy coat off of the coat hanger, and slid my grey converse on, along with the coat. i dragged my feet along the floor, past the doorframe, locking the door behind me. i dawdled down the dark, empty path, which was between tall, old looking apartment buildings, up until i got to the busy main road, which would of been dull and dark, if not for the bright screens, which advertised companies and stores. i was surrounded by lights, many careless city people, cars either zooming by or constantly stopping, and tall buildings, which covered the deep blue evening sky. the cold seoul rain heavily came down in large droplets, which many people avoided by holding umbrellas above their heads. transparent, coloured, and printed umbrellas could be seen. it was like an ocean of colours. i stood on the edge of the pavement, my toes meeting the curb. no one seemed to notice. the flashing red figure blinked, and cars zoomed past, water splashing all over the place. i deeply inhaled, closed my eyes, then took a big step. 'well, this is it..' a loud beep was audible. suddenly, arms wrapped around my waist, also gripping my shirt, and pulled me back, causing both myself and the stranger to hit the wet pavement. my eyes fluttered open at the feeling of my body hitting the wet pavement, with arms still wrapped around my waist. 'why would you save.. –' my voice came out weak and shaky, and trailed off. a smaller figure which was next to me sat up, and in a panicked state, firmly gripped my shoulders, their small voice stammered "w– what were you thinking..?" the young bleached blonde male's eyes teared up, due to the shock, because he didnt know much about my home life, and that i was depressed or suicidal. I knew him. We werent just acquainted, but really close. truth is, i had this thing for him. i had a liking toward the boy, in a different and special way, though it was thought of as wrong, so i didnt want to say anything. Lu Han. Lu Han was his name. Lu Han gripped my cold hand with his pale and thin — yet warm — hand, picked up the red, vivid umbrella which had fallen on the pavement from earlier, with his empty hand, and held the umbrella above us, but more on my side. "Sehun." the thin boy looked at me through his now damp, bleached blonde hair, his grip slightly tightening as his brown orbs met with mine. Lu Han's eyes were like bright orange, red and yellow leaves during a dull autumn. they stood out. bright and vivid. his eyes were different from others. they were warm, and when they looked at you, they made you feel warm all over. as warm as the colours of the autumn leaves. "p– please don't try to die, or even harm yourself... —" Lu Han sharply inhaled, the tears that finally rolled slowly down his cheeks glistened in the lights of the city. "even though we may not have been close out of school, S– sehun... i– i.." the boys sentence could not be finished as his choked sobs were audible. he must of been in shock, and devastated at witnessing the near-loss of his classmate, and close friend. now that i think about it, he didnt have anybody who was closer to him than i was, so that means i meant a lot to him.. no one said anything about two boys on the floor, near the edge of the footpath, one crying, and the other just watching, both soaked. it was probably because we were on the floor, with a weakly held umbrella above us. "i– im sorry.." i quietly mumbled, wrapping my arms around him to calm him down, not caring whether people judged us or not. the smaller boy's choked sobbing eventually stopped. "p- people will s- see.." in society, an issue was being judged. being judged for having feelings toward someone of the same gender. in that moment, i didn't care. "it doesnt matter.. " i whispered into his ear, my other hand over his, shifting the position of the red umbrella so no one could see us, or what we were doing at all; so no one could judge us. Lu Han's pale face grew a tint of pink, and he moved slightly closer, his voice still ever so slightly shaky, placing a hand over the side of his peach stained lips, as if telling a secret. "..we shouldn't be doing this here.." this little blonde dork. he stood up, hand slipping out of my grip, dusted off his jeans, then held out a hand, waiting for me, so i placed my hand in his, then stood up, not using him for support, because he seemed so fragile. Lu Han once again slid his hand around mine, then moved his body closer to mine so that no one would see, which i didn't mind. i laced my fingers with his, then slid his hand into the deep pocket of my soft navy coat. after a few minutes of walking, he paused. "ah, sorry, i forgot to ask first, but are you comfortable going to my place..?" the shorter blonde boy asked. "..i don't mind" is what i responded with, and once he heard my response, he weakly smiled, as it would of been hard to smile in a situation like this, though it was as if the sun were out in the evening. together we walked down an unfamiliar path between two tall buildings, and once we reached the other end of the path, hand in hand, the entire view was different. it was pitch black, but the front lights of the houses that were on, on both sides of the large road, which had a nature strip on either side, with dull, mid-height trees which were dotted with the warm colours of autumn leaves, planted between each drive way of the antique houses, which the powerlines towered above. "..we're here" Lu Han said quietly. before us was a white and blueish grey painted house, which had vines crawling up the white wall on the side. i pulled our still linked hands out of my pocket, and loosened my grip, my hand eventually parting from his. I saw him shiver from the corner of my eye as he pushed the gate open, then fumbled with the keys in his pocket, when he finally pulled out his hands, holding a silver key, with several other keys attatched to it, then slid it into the keyhole in the door,twisted it, causing the lock to click. i waited for him to slide off his shoes before i did, and just after doing so, he grabbed my hand and lead a confused me into the old house, closing the door behind us. "Sehun, just walk straight down the hallway, and turn right, you can sit in there and wait for me, i just have to quickly do something.." i did as he said. i walked down until i reached the end of the hallway, and looked back only to see that he had disappeared, before i turned right, flicked the switch on the wall to find it lead to his bedroom. it smelt like him, and thats how i knew it was his room. the entire house smelt like him, but in his room, the smell was stronger. Lu Han's dark grey bed frame was topped with sheets of a stormy shade of ash, which was complimented by a long white draw, going along the width of the bed, which had a matching desk which was topped with a rose gold macbook and desk lamp, on the left of the bed. a large mirror spread itself across one of the almost dull sky blue walls, hiding a walk in wardrobe. a white tall bookshelf stood in the corner of the room, between the desk and the wall. sitting on the edge of his cold, yet soft bed, which a beige throw blanket layed across, i waited for him. Lu Han shortly came back into the room, with two folded towels in his hands, and placed them on the bed, then sat next to me, looking down. we sat like that for about a full minute, before he swept his wet hair to the side. "so, um.." he fiddled with the label on the amethyst dyed towel, "...if you dont mind telling me, why did you try to do that..?" Lu Han quietly asked, as the ticking of the clock eventually became the loudest sound in the room. i remained silent, and still, for about fifteen seconds, before i responded with "..because im a waste of space, and no one cares about, or needs me at all...." for an entire minute, it was once again silent, before a whisper could be heard. "..i care... " the blonde boy whispered, looking down at his pale hands, which were gently gripping the corner of a towel. after sitting silently for another entire minute, Lu Han crawled behind me on the bed, holding the towel, and ran his fingers through my hair, brushing it, then began gently rubbing the towel against my hair to dry it, his small warm body pressed against mine from behind. this feeling. this feeling that i had never felt before. it came across my body. it was like a warm breeze; a warm breeze which made my heart ache. was this the feeling of being 'loved'? its how others described it, anyway. after staying like that for a few minutes on Lu Han's bed, along with him, i laced my fingers with his, and looked up at him from where i was, a visible tint of pink across the boys face. "..i— ah, are you okay...?" i asked, placing my hand on his forehead, which made the tint of pink on his face eventually become a tint of red. Lu Han responded with a small "yeah," and placed his hands on mine, grabbing my fingers with his small porcelain hands. i attempted pulling my hand away, thinking he didnt like it, but once my long fingers were out of his grip, he wrapped his arms around me, backhugging me. his hug felt so warm, and soft; it made my heart flutter. we stayed like that for a few minutes. this feeling was one that made me feel wanted. i wanted to stay like this forever; i forever wanted to feel necessary. Lu Han's grip slightly tightened as he mumbled something under his breath, which i understood bits and pieces of. "Sehun" "..like you" 'like me' ..? a comparison? a feeling? i decided to try and find out, by whispering "me too.." which he had a cute, startled reaction to. the inaudible word must have been 'I' Lu Han slowly looked up at me, with slightly widened eyes, crimson across his face, yet an expression of worry and hope, but in all, was adorable, especially because it was on his face. "r– really– ..?" he asked, fiddling with a strand of his bleach hair from his bangs. "you really think i would lie about something like this?" i responded, looking out the window which was grazed with water droplets, at the stormy ash toned sky. "..but it's wrong...." the small boy whispered. "i dont care.." i whispered in response, tilting my head back, my eyes meeting his. i gently gripped the soft towel, which was in front of me and the same colour as the other. "you'll get sick.." with the towel in my hands, Lu Han knew why i was holding it, and slowly crawled to the edge of his now warm bed, then sat between my legs, his hanging off the edge of the bed, childishly swinging them around. after drying Lu Han's hair almost completely, i saw his face in the reflection of the mirror, which an expression of worry was across. "Lu Han.." i said, awaiting a reply. the small, fragile boy hummed in response, as i then continued on to whisper "..i dont just.. like you— ...i love you...." to which he covered his blushing face at, then to stutter "i—.. i love you too..." in response. i laced my long fingers with Lu Han's fragile looking fingers, then nuzzled into his pale neck, as the water droplets falling from the grey sky, hitting the window were still audible, because they became louder. Lu Han and i stayed like that for a while, before i moved my head from the crook of his neck, for the fragile seeming boy to turn his body so he was facing me. Lu Han's soft and kissable lips were slightly parted so i took the chance. the chance to display affection toward him. i teased him a little by kissing along his sharp jawline, then moving on to around his lips; but not kissing him directly onto his peach tinted lips. ".. S— Sehun... just kiss me already... " the tiny boy demanded, as i softly chuckled, then pressed my lips against his, both of us closing our eyes. the kiss was somewhat soft, and tasted like strawberries cream. "youre mine.." i whispered once we eventually parted, after the long, warm kiss. Lu Han then playfully pushed me down onto his ash sheeted bed, and snuggled into my chest, closing his eyes which were topped with his soft, black lashes, as i brushed up his bangs, placing a kiss on his forehead, then closed my own eyes, with a long arm wrapped around him. "...and youre mine" the smaller, pale, and fragile boy whispered in response, as the rain then again became louder than the quiet ticking of the antique clock. 「1/7/17」—momo (sorry for the long wait)

[qgaje8wz-blog]

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[kennethherrerablog]

Thinx, Flex, and Other Period Alternatives: Are They Worth It?

Although more than half the world’s population has to deal with them on a monthly basis, menstrual periods aren’t often discussed — nor is their effect on menstruators’ wallets. Purchasing pads, tampons and other flow-absorbing devices is a financial burden most men don’t have to worry about, and those expenses can really add up over time.

What’s worse, since they’re considered “luxury” products, pads and tampons are ineligible for the tax-exempt status granted to most other necessities, like groceries, in the majority of the United States. And while average expenditure estimates on period products vary significantly, it’s not hard to see that menstruating is, under this model, pretty darn expensive.

Let’s say you buy one box of tampons every two months at $7 a box. Let’s also say you menstruate for 40 years, between the ages of 12 and 52. The math doesn’t lie: $7 a box x 6 boxes a year x 40 years = $1,680 over a lifetime. And since most people rely on a variety of different menstruation fixes — pads and liners in addition to tampons, for example — the figure is a bare minimum.

Not to mention the fact that pads and tampons create an incredible amount of waste, which is less than less than ideal for our planet. Case in point: The average consumer will use between 12,000 and 16,000 disposable period products over the course of a lifetime, per reusable pad company Gladrags. (That’s at an estimated cost of between $2,333 and $3,111.)

There’s gotta be a better way. Right?

Thinx and Other Period-Friendly Panties: The Way of the Future?

One way to ditch the extra expense and waste of traditional pads and tampons? Build their absorbency right into the undergarments usually worn with them. That’s the idea behind THINX, a period underwear company started in 2014 — and a host of other brands like Dear Kate and Knix Leakproof.

For this article, we’ll focus primarily on THINX, one of the most popular options on the burgeoning period-panty market. THINX products start at $24 and go up to $39 per pair, allegedly holding anywhere between one-half and two tampons’ worth of fluid. The company also sells other period-friendly garments at higher prices, like training shorts ($65) and leotards ($60).

So: They’re not cheap. But considering the cost of the pads and tampons we’re throwing away almost immediately, they could be worth it.

But do they actually work? And are they comfortable? Will they hold up to multiple menstrual periods without getting smelly or stained?

We spoke to a variety of THINX users to find out.

These Folks Tried THINX, and Here’s What They… Think

We’ll start with the good news: All of our correspondents reported that their THINX were useful, reliable, odor-free, and that they held up well in the wash — even when they ignored the instructions to hand wash and tossed them in a regular cycle.

And the bad news, you ask? THINX might not be viable as a total period product replacement. It all depends on your body, of course, but most of our sources seemed skeptical about using them without any other flow-blocking measures.

So period panties might not be able to totally offset the expense of disposables. But they can still serve some very valuable purposes, penny-pinching included.

Here’s how.

They Control Leaks — and Stop Stains from Breaking Your Budget

Clinical psychologist Allison He Glickman, 29, of San Francisco was sick and tired of trashing perfectly good underwear, pajama, and bedsheets “as a result of “the exuberance of [her] menses.”

“I thought that Thinx panties could provide a backup to my other hardworking menstrual products,” she writes in an email.

After all, trashing all those stained items cost her tons over time. She estimates she was spending about $136 per year on pads and tampons, and an additional $50 or so per year on underwear replacements.

So she made a one-time purchase of $42 on two pairs of THINX — and was delighted when the company sent her four pairs by accident. Although she doesn’t use the panties as a total replacement for pads and tampons, they do relieve her anxiety about ruining her underwear and sheets.

Dietitian Karen Neunzig also thanks her THINX for keeping her primary panties pretty — and helping her keep her chill about stains while she’s at work or at yoga practicing downward dog.

Depending on where she is in her cycle, she might use them alone or in conjunction with a tampon. Either way, she says, they’re “worth every penny. I actually bought some for my sister and best friend too!”

They Can Make Transitioning Easier

THINX markets their products towards “people with periods” — language that piqued the interest of menstruating transgender person Zo Dikitsas, 25, who received their first pair of THINX as a Christmas present from a friend and found the product immensely helpful.

“Tampons make me feel more dysphoric and also hurt a little bit once I started to take testosterone,” says Dikitsas, who lives in Columbus, Ohio. “Pads didn’t work out so well because they slide around in my boxer briefs and didn’t effectively catch the blood from my period.”

Plus, transitioning meant that Dikitsas’ public bathroom options weren’t usually equipped with tampon machines — and that dose of testosterone meant the bleeding was unpredictable. “I would realize I was on my period and try to improvise with toilet paper,” Dikitsas says, before “driving around bleeding trying to run and go get some tampons last minute.”

They’re Great for Sleeping In

Photographer Amanda Shields, 31, originally purchased THINX so she wouldn’t have to sleep with uncomfortable pads. She estimates she was spending about $300 per year on disposable devices.

As it turned out, the underwear worked for her not just overnight, but all the time. “They are super comfortable,” the Michigan woman says, reporting that they stay dry and feel like normal underwear. And unlike most of our other sources, Shields finds she’s often able to use them on their own. “I think they work as well, if not better, than advertised,” she says. “I can usually get away with mine all day even on a moderate flow day with no other products.”

Thinking Twice? Try Other Period Alternatives

While it’s clear that THINX can be a helpful tool, they may not be right for you. But there are a variety of other period-product alternatives that may be more cost-effective, eco-friendly or comfortable.

The Diva Cup and Other Menstrual Cups

The Diva Cup, and other menstrual cups like it, is one well-known device that promises monetary savings as well as waste reduction. Many consumers swear by them. But some people — myself included — find them hard to properly place or uncomfortable, and having to boil the cup to clean it can be inconvenient and awkward.

The Penny Hoarder staffer Carson Kohler thought the cup-cleaning process sounded like a hassle, and she wasn’t convinced that period panties wouldn’t feel like pads. But she was frustrated by the amount she was spending on tampons and panty liners and conscious of how those disposables were piling up in a landfill.

Menstrual Discs, Including Flex

So when an ad (and discount trial code) for Flex menstrual discs popped up on her social-media feed, she decided to give them a shot. And while they’re actually more expensive than her previous period solution, she hasn’t looked back since.

Before starting with Flex, she estimates she spent about $84 per year on tampons alone, not counting other expenses associated with her period. After her discounted trial box, she signed up for a 24-pack quarterly subscription, which costs $35 a shipment, or $140 per year.

Despite the added expense, Kohler writes, “It’s worth it.” The Flex product is much more eco-friendly, only requires two daily changes, and — best of all — comes with the convenience of delivery.

“It comes to my door every three months,” Kohler says, “so I don’t worry about… rush[ing] to CVS late at night because I have no supplies.” Because it’s… well, flexible enough to move with the body and not as drying as tampons, Flex says the cup may help those with serious cramps and chronic infections feel more comfortable during menstruation.

Finally, don’t forget that the lowest-tech option can also be one of the best in terms of both monetary and planetary saving. Although newfangled options like GladRags and Lunapads have flooded the menstrual market, reusable cloth pads have been used for centuries — and maybe washing bloody fabric is better than dumping $1,700 or more in the trash.

Jamie Cattanach is a freelance writer whose work has been featured by Fodor’s, Yahoo, Self, The Motley Fool, Roads & Kingdoms and other outlets. Wave hi to @jamiecattanach on Twitter, or learn more at www.jamiecattanach.com.

This was originally published on The Penny Hoarder, which helps millions of readers worldwide earn and save money by sharing unique job opportunities, personal stories, freebies and more. The Inc. 5000 ranked The Penny Hoarder as the fastest-growing private media company in the U.S. in 2017.

The Penny Hoarder Promise: We provide accurate, reliable information. Here’s why you can trust us and how we make money.

Thinx, Flex, and Other Period Alternatives: Are They Worth It? published first on https://justinbetreviews.tumblr.com/

[sarcasticlykaeon-blog]

Caught Between Worlds

Stuck. Thats how it felt, every hour of every day, for as long as I could remember. Like i was some sort of freak, on the outside looking in. I can remember when i was small, barely old enough to really walk and talk, two and a half, three...and i hated dresses. I hated pink. I hated lace and frills. If i could choose or make my will known it was pants. Tshirts and sweatshirts. Childrens overalls. I hated games in preschool. The girls always wanted to play house, with husbands and babies in some sort of elaborate roleplay. The boys wouldnt let me play with them. "No girls," theyd say. "You wont know how," or "girls arent any good at this. Go play with dolls." somehow...just because i didnt have the same lower regions i wasnt good enough. So i played alone, with blocks or toys, making up elaborate adventures or stories in the process. My mother, my aunts, my grandmother...they all wanted me to be a girl. They tried to take me underwing in baking, playing with makeup, dressup, dolls...they tried to teach me about playing with hair. Me? I just wanted to test out the new computer, watch ninja turtles, and kick butt like she-ra. My one concession to female marketed programs was Jem...but honestly? I loved the story and drama, not the glamour, glitter, fashion, or fame. I was the oldest...five years between me and my brother meant i was dads son substitute until i was almost 11. I learned things like changing the oil in a car, ms-dos programming and how to kick ass in Doom, how to tackle and fight back if grabbed by a bigger opponent. Of course...the instant my middle brother was old enough to do son things....fwip! I was ignored. About the only thing i could get the old man to do was D&D. My grandfather insisted it was a phase i would grow out of, that id become a seeker of a strong man and an actual woman eventually. My mother tried to force me to conform to gender standards. My aunt was disappointed. My father only started caring about gender normativity when i hit puberty. I never told them things like "i want to grow up to be a boy" because even at three, i knew it didnt work that way, on some instinctual level. But i dod wail and growl about the unfairness. Why is x okay for boys but not girls? Why are girls expected to be like this but boys arent? And the answer...oh the answer just upset me and angered me. "Because youre expected to be a young lady." By puberty, the words "young lady" were guarenteed to trigger a huge emotional fit of rage...but i couldnt explain why. Just like the fact that i had to fight for my place amidst whatever boys lived in the neighborhood. I had to work twice as hard to prove i was worthy of being allowed to hang out...and still they sought to ditch me at every opportunity. School was even worse. I was overly tall, strong, and hyper intelligent. I was part of the "Gifted Program" (which in most school systems is naught but busy work or a careful way to set up classes in high school to fix the averages of a class.) I was, in every concievable way the outcast. And then puberty found me. Early. The first time i bled in sixth grade, i cried myself to sleep, hiding blood ruined underwear in the back of my closet until i could throw it away. I didnt tell my mother until i was sixteen--hiding this horrid, agonizingly painful thing that happened to me once a month. When i grew breasts i hated them. I hated bras. And of course, i have breasts that grew huge. I survive with super tight sports bras and tshirts because nothing else fits my fucked up frame: ive got broad shoulders, long legs, and huge feet (size 12 womens, which is impossible to find), and im like 5'8". Id be taller but my arms and torso are short, and ive got wide hips and huge breasts and butt. I hated my body and i still do. I feel like i was a crapshoot built out of the mismatched leftovers of several people. And the shit my parents tried to enforce for gender conformity to this "new identity of a young lady." first was acne management. I wasnt a pizza face, but i did and still do have a bit of an issue with blackheads (Glasses have that effect.) But my parents tried to force me to pop my zits...and when i refused because it hurt, they basically held me down and popped them for me. Then was "shaving my legs". Okay. Underarms i get because pits stink. I shave those because it feels less stanky when i do. But their issue? My legs. I refused to do it. "Boys dont, why do i? Thats not fair!" i fought. Hard. But...like the zits...theyd hold me down and buzz my legs for me from knee to foot while i thrashed and begged...all to force on me a title i never wanted, a mold i didnt fit. And i didnt understand WHY. Why was my behavior, my life and interests and hobbies and clothing all supposed to be dictated by something so unimportant? And then...when i was sixteen, i met a person i hit it off with. A sweet and funny youth my age with hair as long as mine and a goofy smile on his face. In a few months we were dating long distance and i suspect my family sighed in relief that i wasnt a lesbian. Our fathers got to be friends(which was useful, since 200miles between us put a crimp in relations.) But this had another side effect. You see, that next year i learned something id never heard before. Something id never considered until that day in 2002. His father...felt he was a woman trapped in a mans body. I was floored. This could happen? What? So i researched what i could to understand (there wasnt much, back then.) And...i began to wonder....because all I could find was for males becoming females. Even joked with my boyfriend that the universe "got us backwards" (he agreed, seeing as how he was girlier than me) And then it all crashed to a halt one night at dinner. His father, him, me, another mtf person and two other adults were at a restaurant, and the kne guy at the table with no knowledge on trans folks was asking questions. I listened, enraptured as the emotions and disconnects id always felt were described from the other side. Emboldened, 17, and perhaps seeking some form of connection or...validation for my feelings, i piped up, expressing how i felt the universe had gotten me backwards. That was the worst thing to say, as his father unloaded on me verbally for being mocking and insensitive and jumping on a bandwagon i had no business on. Treated me like i was being scum--damn near drove me to tears and made me feel small and useless. And i thought "if this is what trans ppl are like...i dont want to be like them ever." it crushed my desire to understand my gender identity and sexuality for years. It didnt help that as time went by ot seemed every trans person i encountered was one of two things: a dramawhore with the emotional stability of a 14year old girl, or someone like my bf's father who decided that i couldnt belong to his elitest club in a fashion that echoed years of "no girls allowed" from boys everywhere. The internets vast collection of professionally offended "keyboard warriors" who spew bigotry and hate and small minded idiocy while calling it "truth" or "just what X group deserves" is a steaming cesspit of shit I dont want to be part of on any level, and unfortunately many of them claim to be whatever "alternate" gender identity or sexuality is the fad this month. Its not winning me over at all, and made me shy further away from actual people i might be able to relate to...maybe who can help me. I finally did own up to something when i was 23--I was more sexually attracted to women than men. In fact...beyond a few emotion driven crushes as a teen, the only male i have ever found attractive was that same goofy, funny, smiling boy with the long hair...except these days hes my supportive, goofy, smiling mate with the softest heart of gold ive ever known inside a powerful and intimidatingly sized viking-esque exterior. But again...because on the outside, our relationship seems very "normal" im not welcomed much by the vocal minority and so im super wary of all parts of the lgbt crowd. I dont advertise or tell my relatives--my parents and their respective siblings are between 50 and 70 years old. They barely believe this stuff exists. I still dont want to be a girl. I dont want the societal expectations of it. I hate having breasts that risk knocking my teeth loose if i move too fast. And dont get me started on the fucking shit show that is my sex life. Its a complicated shit show that starts with the disconnect of parts and ends with kinks i can never actually engage in because, guess what? Im a GIRL. But at the same time, i stare at the only transmen examples and stories i can find, which seem to be rare and hidden somewhere, at places like fb and tumblr and twitter...at pride rallies and news stories...at stuff recounted by friends...and i dont want to be associated with people whose actions turn them into examples of literal human garbage. And so here i sit, caught between two worlds, never part of either one and feeling like im slowly drowning. It seems like one doesnt want me and the other i dont want... Im so tired of being stuck.

[superblyjovialtheorist-blog]

non owner car insurance quote california

"non owner car insurance quote california

non owner car insurance quote california

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://howmuchisinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

RELATED QUESTIONS: 

Opposing insurance asking for information?

2 weeks ago I got into a car accident, I've already: -Plead guilty and paid ticket online -Submit claim for insurance company -Had car towed for auto shop And today I receive in the mail, forms from what I can see is the opposing insurance company asking for my name, age, address, SS#, license plate, insurance #, passengers during accident, and a diagram to draw how the accident happened. Am I require to fill this out? I thought the 2 insurance companies got this kind of information from each other""

Can Someone in another state insure my car for me?

I Live in Georgia Where it is legal to get your car registered with insurance in someone else s name. I know for a fact because I have seen it done. But What I want to know is when I buy a car can since im so young and insurance rates for me are so high can my grandmother in Michigan add the car to her policy? or can my mom in CT insure it for me even though the car will be registered in georgia? Or Does it has to be another Georgia resident?

""If a male at the age of 20 started driving, would the cost of insurance be cheaper then it would for him at 16?""

If a male at the age of 20 started driving, would the cost of insurance be cheaper then it would for him at 16?""

What is a affordable health insurance that covers DENTAL?

or at least some of the cost?

When should i buy car insurance?

I am going to buy a car on Tuesday. Is there a grace period during which i can drive the car without insurance until i get it, like 5 business days or something like that, or do i need insurance before i buy the car?? This is my first vehicle so i dont have an existing policy i can add this too.""

I need affordable and reliable health insurance. 23 yrs old.?

hi I am a 23 year old foreign student currently studying in the US in a student visa..I am thinking about getting an affordable health insurance that covers emergencies and any sudden diseases that might occur in future.. also may be a yearly doctor visit etc.. i do not need dental.. i just want to make sure i am covered in case of emergency.. i am just a student and do not have a stable job so i cant afford a lot.. i have heard about medicare and medicaid but they are not for foreign nationals.. i have also heard about blue cross blue shield i was thinking about going with them but what do you guys think?? and what should be the monthly price?? thank you in advance .. no advertisements or spam please!!

How much would my car insurance be?

I'm 16 years old & a female. I am 5'5 & weigh 150 lbs. I am purchasing a USED 2003 Audi A4 Quattro Base Sedan 4-Door 1.8L ; I was wondering what the estimated car insurance would be for me so I can start by getting the right idea of how much I would need to save each month. Thank you. :)

""Health Insurance, Texas?""

OK I'm 20 and have a part-time job, I don't have health insurance and don't know much about it. Anyway I mainly doing it to see a docter, to see if I have any problems like adhd, bipolar or whatever, which I THINK I may have. Anyway whats a good/affordable plan if thats all I want to do? Maybe something that will cover prescription drugs, if needed.""

Insurance coverage with DUI involved?

My father recently crashed his car into a van after consuming over the legal limit of alcohol (well over knowing him), and is concerned whether Progressive insurance will cover vehicle damages for him and the other driver. Also notable is that his car is pretty much totaled, I think, and he does have some previous blemishes on his driving record and the car is leased. If someone with some knowledge on these matters would help and give me an idea of what insurance will and will not cover could help it would be much appreciated.""

What insurance companies in michigan allow exclusions?

I live in michigan and need to find an insurance company that will allow me to exclude people who live with me from being on my policy (otherwise my rates will double (possibly triple)) Esurance doesn't i know, but anyone know what ones do?""

Individual dental insurance for braces?

What is a good individual dental insurance if I were to get braces? I have done some research and nailed it down to DeltaCare and Pacificare. So which dental insurance is better, or any other suggestions? Pacificare cost slightly less than DeltaCare as far as co-payments go. Both are HMO plans, all the PPO plans covers little to nothing for braces, so HMO seems to be the only way to go for an individual plan. DeltaCare seems to be more reliable since it's associated with Delta Dental, a little more costly also. I'm more concerned about the quality of the services as far as making claims and such. So DeltaCare, Pacificare, or ay other dental insurance/plans? Any personal experience with either of these companies? I am in San Francisco, California.""

Reason for sudden increase in price on car insurance?

When I bought my car I started paying 1,400 a year on insurance, and the other day I got a letter through the post from my insurance company saying that I need to renew my car insurance since it was close expiring. They said that if I want to continue with the same company I need to now pay 2,000 a year for the same car. I can't seem to understand why there's such a vast increase from my last quote. I haven't had to make a claim and I can't think of anything that may have happened that could result in the price increase. Do insurance companies do this or could there have been something I may have done which has put the price up? Thanks in advance.""

Insurance quote for 2001 Chevy Impala LS with 114000 miles?

I am just curious how much insurance would be on my gf 2001 Impala with a 3.4 and 114000 miles on it. She has a clean driving record?

Does anyone know of any good prescription insurance?

We are a low income family who apparently make too much to qualify for any state assistance. I have expensive medicine needed for panic disorder every month and can't afford it. Does anyone know of any prescription plans that are affordable and worth it?

Best first cars? cheap to insure?

Best first cars? cheap to insure?

""What would be the best Ford for me, insurance wise?""

I have been contacting different insurance agencies for quotes and was quoted at 300 for a honda civic give or take some, but the lady told me I am much better off getting a Ford as I would be able to get a way better deal on them as they are easier to insure for people my age (20,m). Which Ford cars are good for this? I know the mustang is outta the question since its a sports car, but I was thinking of a truck or the small ranger truck.""

What is the Cheapest Car Insurance For Young Driver?

18 Year Old, Male, Vauxhall Corsa 16V (1.2) Worth 1000, Full License Held for 2 Month, Access To Company Vehicle (Ex Personal Use), Mileage up to 5000 per year, No PASS PLUS, Social Use and kept on a public road.""

Is mandatory auto insurance constitutional?

Ever since debated started in regards to Obamacare, conservative pundits and politicians have been arguing that making people buy health insurance is unconstitutional. That putting people in jail with fines for not buying something is wrong. Well, what's the difference with auto insurance. People HAVE to have car insurance in the US and are put in jail if they don't. I don't see the difference.""

What would be the cheapest auto insurance for me? i am 19 and drive a 1998 camaro z28?

What would be the cheapest auto insurance for me? i am 19 and drive a 1998 camaro z28?

Do i have to be on my dads insurance to take the road test?please answer im desperate:(?

Hi, i live in Florida,im 18 no matter what im trying to do my dad finds a way to not make it happen,and im starting college Monday and i have to drive myself and i made an apponitment for this Friday to take the written exam and the road test,my dad went to go put me on the insurance today, and he told me that they told him i cant be on his insurance because quote from my dad that he was told by the insurance ladie im a girl,im under 21, and i live with them. or they have to pay $3,000 he said its florida direct or florida no-fault for his insurance. does this sound like hes lying to me or is this all true? Thank you.""

Affordable Health Insurance for Student in MA?

Hi, if you go to school in MA, you would know that the insurance company offered by school are overpriced. I'm looking for affordable, low-cost, health insurance for college student in Massachusetts. Thank you.""

Can I buy a car under my own name and be covered under my parents insurance?

I am currently a college student and considering in buying a car. It will be my first car and I have never had car insurance before. Therefore, my insurance would be really high if I just had insurance by myself as a first time driver. My question is if the car is titled under my name, can I somehow have my parents insure the car under their name and have them add me as a driver on their insurance even though I own the car? Is this legal and normal? Some info: This is in the state of Nevada. I also live with them and they don't mind the liability.""

How good is tonik health insurance?

active college student who needs a supplement to our generic university health care. snowboarding/mountain biking accidents, etc.""

Car insurance and court hearing?

i drove my car without insurance and got by police got 6 points as i m on provisional then again after 2 months i got a car just to move in local place like for shopping and instead of geting a cab i thought i can use it but the moment i bought it i was driving back home police stopped me coz 1 break light was not working and got again points but the point is dvla didnt sent me a disqualification notice and after 3 months i was driving my friends car as it was just a scrap and had no fuel i was in petrol pump abt 12 at night police guys caught be because my friend was making some funny sounds there so got hearing and 1 yr ban...can some one tell me how much fine will i get and will they sentence me for jail...any help will be appriciated

Do I have to be on my parents insurance in order to use the car?

Would I be in trouble if I'm not on their insurance but using the car?? The car is insured so what do I do?? Live in Florida

non owner car insurance quote california

non owner car insurance quote california

Rental car insurance?

I just rented a car from Budget and it being my first rental, I wasn't exactly sure of all the terms and conditions... unbeknownst to me I could have used my own full coverage insurance with me. I flew out of state and rented a car for the wedding and just assumed I would need to buy their insurance policy, no one ever told me different. I did take my policy with me, but was never asked for that information. Then I get the bill back and they charged me 32.50 a day! Has anyone ever had this happen and how lenient are they if you've already returned the rental? Anything I can do? I'm back at work and won't be able to call in until this afternoon, just wanted some feedback. Thanks in advance.""

Graduating from college and need affordable health insurance?

Graduating from college and need affordable health insurance?

How much does it cost to live on your own in western Washington?

I am 20 yrs. old and it's just time to move out. I was wondering what all the expenses are that go into living on your own. Also I am attending communtiy college, and though it is paid for I will not be working full time so I will be living on a budget. I know the general cost of rent, car insurance, cell, gas but I really have no idea as far as food, utilies, cleaning supply, soaps, all those little thing you dont think about untill they add up. So in addtion to all that feel free to share some expenses that took you be surprise! Thanks everyone :)""

How much would Progressive's auto insurance cost for a 2 door honda civic for a 17 year old male?

Or a Honda accord v6 coupe? Standard Insurance prices.

""If someone gets a ticket in my car, will it have any effect on my insurance?""

My boyfriend got a speeding ticket in my car, and the ticket has my tag number and registration number on it. Will it effect my insurance?""

What does Term Life Insurance mean with no surrender value?

If I had a 15 year Term Life Insurance at $100,000. with no surrender value. What would it be at the end of 15 years. Can I collect the full amount on this type of insurance?""

Where is the best place for me to get car insurance?

My policy on Geico expired recently. Right now I'm trying to think of all the money I'll be saving without using Geico. Their rates were outrageous. Those cavemen are smart not to use Geico. Every lie has some truth in it. Anyway, I need to renew my insurance, and I'm fed up with Geico. Are there any other companies that are reasonable like Nationwide, State Farm, All State, Progressive, and whatnot?""

Low priced car to insure and buy?

I'm a 15 year old girl looking for a cheap car that is low to insure for when I turn 16...I live in the us and don't really care for sporty cars... I was think about a volkswagon beetle 03 but idk how much they are or how much it is insure so... Yeah. But please help!!!

Can AAA raise my Homeowners insurance rate by $300 for the next 3 years?

My property was stolen from the backseat of my car. AAA is saying if they pay out more than $750 (including my co-pay) then my Homeowners insurance will be raised by $300 for the next 3 years and it will be a point on my property. Is this right/legal??

Best individual health insurance plan?

My husband and I just found out that his company is raising our medical insurance rates from $212 a month to $400 a month, so we are trying to shop around for the best rates. We have found some, but hardly any include maternity benefits, and we want that parachute just in case any accidents happen. Is there any plans out there cheaper than $400 with maternity, or should we just hope we don't get pregnant for a couple of years? (We plan to switch insurance in 2 years when I get a teaching job)""

Does anyone know about ecar insurance?

I found it is cheap, but Is it good? http://www.ecarinsurance.co.uk""

How much life insurance?

Married, no kids, will buy a house next year, anuual income = about 80K Options: 1x annual salary - free 2 x - $9.44/month 3 x - $18.88/moth 4 x $8.32/month 5 x $37.76/month Also, should I bother w/spouse insurance (about $5/month?)""

""Health Insurance, Texas?""

OK I'm 20 and have a part-time job, I don't have health insurance and don't know much about it. Anyway I mainly doing it to see a docter, to see if I have any problems like adhd, bipolar or whatever, which I THINK I may have. Anyway whats a good/affordable plan if thats all I want to do? Maybe something that will cover prescription drugs, if needed.""

Health Insurance for a family of 4?? Help?

Help........I need health Insurance for a family of 4... I dont work and my husband's Company doesnt Offer Health insurance...We have 2 little Kids ages 4 and 3..we need health insurance for a family of 4 we live in california between sacramento and san francisco....Can anyone help me by telling me who they use? and what can i expect to pay for a family of 4

Cheap car insurance companies?

i've just passed my test and own a renault clio sport 1.4 w reg all insurance quotes have been over 3000 pound does any one know where to go for cheap car insurance

What would be the insurance on these cars?

What would be the insurance costs for a 16 year old girl for a Nissan Altima 2013 2.5 SV, a 2013 mustang v6 and 2013 honda crv EX? Or what are good websites to price it at?""

""Are there any good insurance companies who dont take part in comparison websites like confused, gocompare etc?""

Are there any good insurance companies who dont take part in comparison websites like confused, gocompare etc?""

How should I renew my car insurance in this case of seperation (not yet divorced)?

My husband and I separated 6 months ago. our divorce is not yet final (an other 6 months to go). My car insurance is due, and i want to pay the next 6 months. I've always been on my husband's car insurance. what points should i pay attention to while discussing the policies with the insurance agent? some tips to avoid paying extra fees (with no necessities) please share tips / suggestions. Thank you !""

Is it cheaper to have your spouse put onto your car insurance.?

Someone told me it workes out cheaper. Are they correct.

How much is car insurance for a guy who is...?

i don't want to do any quotes and stuff but i'm just wondering how much you think car insurance will be for me in 4 years. i got my license at 16. i'm 20 right now. never been in any accidents. so in 4 years i will be 25. i'm almost 21. let's say there is a 2013 dodge challenger srt8 it's about 40-45,000 still. by then i'll have my BA and be working on a masters. and let's say i have never had accidents and i had my license for 9 years. and i'm a male. i live in a safe neighborhood and will be living in an apartment. just with these general info. how much do you think insurance will cost for me? i know it's hard to predict 4 years into the future. you can just calculate someone who currently is 25 and is getting an 09 challenger if you want.""

Can i sorn my car and keep paying insurance?

can I sorn my car for a couple of weeks as its run out of mot and tax. I want to sorn it for a couple of weeks while i sort out a couple of problems then put it through its mot and tax it again. In the meantime while its sorn can i continue to pay my insurance as I dont want to lose my no claims for the year or will my insurance company know its been sorned?

Car insurance__________________?

How much do you pay for car insurance? (in a year), mine is going to expire in november (november, 30) when I am supposed to go to the agency to renew it? Can I go for example on november 1st?""

Do you know of a good health insurance plan?

I need to find a plan that is affordable outside a group plan or is there a group plan available to me? I do not want the discount card type of plan I want an actual insurance policy accepted by many doctors and hospitals. 80/20 coverage is great with annual deductible choices.

Why don't people just buy themselves health insurance?

I am 26 years old and have had a major back surgery. Still I pay just $98/month for my Blue Cross of California PPO health insurance. Why doesn't everyone without insurance just go buy it for themselves instead of buying an Ipod or new cell phone? This would keep the government from rationing health care and having more power over us citizens as well as not forcing some people to pay for others.

Car insurance and finance question?

I bought my car on finance a month ago and had to have Fully Comprehensive insurance for it. It is very expensive - if I were to drop to third party F&F, would they find out? If they did what would happen?""

non owner car insurance quote california

non owner car insurance quote california

Backtack on medical insurance for newborn?

Is it Normal for my job to backtrak and charge me premiums for my newborn if I didn't enroll her until about a month after she was born? She was on my wifes insurance up until I enrolled her but they took a lot out of one check. Spoke with the head of finance dept and tells me they still backtrack from when she's born even though she was on my wifes insurance

Questions about motorcycle insurance?

I am planning on buying a 150cc scooter in the Spring. In Michigan, my home state, these are considered motorcycles. Also, in Michigan, they must be insured. My questions are: (1) If I am only riding my scooter for three months out of the year, will I still have to pay for insurance during the fall and winter? (2) What is the cheapest motorcycle insurance out there, and typically, how much would I be paying per month? I am a new cycle rider, but have driven a car for 5 years without an accident.""

How much would a Fiat Grande Punto 1.2L cost in insurance for a 17 year old male driver?

I'm 17 and male and I was wondering how much this car would cost to get it insured, please help.""

What is the cheapest plpd insurance in Michigan?

What is the cheapest plpd insurance in Michigan?

How can i get insurance if i am a 21 year old female with a job?

I am 21 years old and i live in California, I work at the YMCA but i only work 20 hrs. a week so i do not quallify for insurance here. I only make about $950 a month so i don't have alot of money to pay for insurance and my parents jobs do not provide insurance for me. can anyone help?""

""California to nevada, is insurance more?""

moving to nevada, is auto insurance more from CA to NV?""

Insurance for a 2007 Nissan Sentra SE-R Spec V?

I've been wondering how much insurance would cost for a 2007 Nissan Sentra SE-R Spec V for a 16 year old as the main driver, but I don't want to send my information to an insurer for a quote and possibly get unwanted solicitaions from them. Does anyone have any idea? Oh, and would it be different for a 17 year old?""

Car accident and no insurance!! Advice?

My brother just got caught driving without insurance. I know this sounds bad, but he has been struggling with money for some time now, and has many school loans he is paying off.... Too make a long story short, he can't afford car insurance and made a dumb move to drive to work and back without insurance. Now a car drove in to him, and had no insurance to show the officer. He now has to show up to court to prove that he had insurance!!! I feel bad for him.....what is the fine? He wasn't at fault for the accident! He just got back on insurance but he didn't have it at the time of the accident.... What is going to happen? What should he do to save himself??? Please help.... :S""

Would a V6 minivan generally have a higher or lower insurance rate than an equally equipped V6 sedan?

I'm shopping for a used car, and I figure if I can get all that extra space without it costing more I'll do it...""

Are the insurance companies having a super party right now?

I mean it is now law that they will have a steady stream of customers. So are they psyched?

Cheap Car Insurance?

Whats the cheapest car insurance

How much would auto insurance cost if?

im about to be 15, and my dad is freaking out about car insurance prices, so how much so i expect to pay for a 2003 jeep liberty/ or honda civic? (texas) also we have geico.""

Car insurance loopholes?

Are there any loopholes or 'tricks' I can employ to lower my car insurance? I'm 19, and the quotes I am getting are between 4000-5000. It's obscene, especially when my motorbike does 0-60 in 3 seconds and has a top speed of 160mph yet it costs me 350 a year to insure. Apparently I might not be able to 'handle the power of a Vauxhall Corsa'. Car insurers won't even take my 3 years motorcycle NCB into account. Is there anything I can do?""

Buying a Motorcycle and taking it to California?

So I'm in Florida and I'm selling my car to buy a motorcycle. I'm thinking about purchasing a triumph bike here in florida at the dealership and having them ship it to my house in California hoping i can get a sweet deal. What do you guys think? tax in florida is cheaper than California but will i still have to pay for other stuff besides the obvious insurance, plate, etc.? or is this all a dumb idea, should i take my car money back to California and buy the triumph bike there?""

Long term car rentals vs expensive car insurance?

So about 2 years ago I got hit with a false DWI in NYC (passed breathalyzer test cops still lied and claimed DWI). But that's another story. Currently I purchased a used Landrover Disco 2. Geico gave me a sweet deal @ $1430/6 months until they ran the DMV report and saw my DWI from 2 years ago. Now my 6 month rate is $3700/6 months. That price is completely rediculous and unaffordable (according to my pockets). Therefore, my question, should I just do long term car rental? I mean I have a super sweet discount that rivals employees discounts @ National and Enterprise Rentals. I'm thinking I could just rent on a month to month basis for less than $3700/every 6 months. The added benefits would be new year car models and the option to trade it in for any vehicle I choose for an entire month. Plus the gas would be less than the Landrovers V8 premium requirement. Basically my question is, should I do long term rentals or run myself broke trying to keep up with insurance and gas prices on top of rent and other expenses?""

Can I add my girlfriend to my health insurance if we live together?

Some states allow benefits for partners. Is this the same? I am insured by Humana (Open Choice PPO)

What insurance companies are in massachusetts?

I believe that insurance in mass is horrible, but I don't know if there are even other insurance companies here where can I find out?""

Determining how much car insurance will rise after an accident?

I was in a car accident recently, my fault, and I totaled my car. The truck I hit has only $175 of damages on it. So how will my insurance company determine how much my insurance will go up? Do they just go on how much damage they have to pay for on the other car? Or do they raise it because I'm not a safe driver and I'm now more liable to be in more accidents?""

Approximate Car Insurance Cost for 2005 Audi A4 Sedan for 16 Year Old Male in New York?

I want to buy a 2005 Audi A4 but was wondering about how much the insurance would cost? I am 16 years old and a male, living in New York. Thanks.""

What questions will car insurance co. ask?

I am preparing to get car insurance for the first time, and I want to know what kind of questions the insurance company will be asking me.""

Car insurance is wasting my money?

I have been paying for my car insurance for over three years. I spent over 5000$ or more. what should i do i'm sick of paying them please helpppppp. I work my a** up everyday and then i only get half of my salary cuz of them.

Do car salesmen get free dealer insurance to drive any car?

As above, I've been offered a job by a franchised motor dealership, just curious if as part of the job you get free insurance to drive all vehicles? And do you generally get a company car. It's a big part of the decision I have to make. Any help or advice would be great.""

How will a $135 speeding ticket show up on my car insurance?

Will the insurance notice show how fast I was going/how much I had to pay for the ticket?

If you are stopped for an uninsured car does this affect yor insurance premiums?

I was stopped for an uninsured car and they towed it. Does this affect my insurance premiums? How much is the usual fine for uninsured,unregistered and invalid inspection sticker? I did not get a sticker when I registered it in my name. Are there any other issues I may have to deal with before I register again?""

How Much Is the insurance going to increase?

Today I hit a car :( and although it was minimal damage, he decided to report it. I wanted to know how much is the insurance going to increase. Take in that i'm not in the policy its under my mom's name.""

non owner car insurance quote california

non owner car insurance quote california

Insurance Companies Help??????s?

If an insurance company needs to make money how can it help us? technically if we give them money and they give us back more money wouldn't they go out of business? so wouldn't saving money in a bank account be better in the long run than getting insurance?

I am trying to get a 2006 Dodge Charger R/T. I am worried that insurance will be to high?

I am worried that insurance will be too high. I am 16 years old and my Dad is paying for it. What is the average insurance that someone pays. Do you tihnk insurance on this charger will be a lot?

Car insurance help ok so i am going to be a first year driver?

ok so i am going to be a first year driver what insurance company should i get since the are a lot of them out there and how much do u think i will be paying per month in joliet IL i am a male and 18 years old

Is this how liability car insurance works in general and when you grant someone permission to drive your car?

This coverage pays for damage you (or someone driving the car with your permission) may cause to someone else's property. Usually, this means damage to someone else?s car. I called my car insurance and asked them and they said that insurance follows the car rather than a person. So no matter who would be driving it, it would basically be their responsibility. Now, would this also include letting your kid or a family member drive your car? even if they're not in the actual policy? It seems like when that is the case, things get somewhat confusing. I'd love to hear any input from anyone who ever has or currently does work in the car insurance world.""

Is an automatic car cheaper to tax and insure?

This may sound stupid, but i was looking into driving lessons when i came across an advert for an automatic driving school. I was wondering if, at the end of it, would it make an difference to my insurance if i had a stick or automatic? Thanks""

About how much would the minimum amount insurance cost a typical rider to drive a motorcycle?

About how much would the minimum amount insurance cost a typical rider to drive a motorcycle?

How do insurance companies verify the adress you use for your car insurance is your actual adress?

I want to get my car insurance in a different state see how do car insurance companies know that the address and provide is where I live. And if I get caught what is the penalty

Car Insurance?

Is it normal for a car insurance company to send a questioner to it's clients who had an accident? They asked the same questions I told them on the phone and I had to get the form notarized to send in with my answers. They we're asking what time, where it happened, who was I with, did I ever file a claim before, and the last two pages had to do with fraud.""

Can anyone tell me how much insurance would be for a 16yr old driving a black 1997 toyota supra?

Can anyone tell me how much insurance would be for a 16yr old driving a black 1997 toyota supra?

Health insurance?

personal

""On average, how much is motorcycle insurance?""

Let's say for instance I owned a road bike with 750 cc's, how much would insurance be? Or at least AROUND how much?""

What is the Difference between a PRIMARY and SECONDARY type of driver on Insurance?

Was looking at Auto Insurance and was wondering what the difference is between being a Primary driver of a vehicle and a Secondary. Is it cheaper on insurance to be a primary if one driver has more years experience than another or does it matter at all? I gather being an occasional driver would make a difference on insurance though.

Cancel work insurance to go through private insurance company?

My husband has to carry insurance on his child, as ordered by court, along with child support. It's not a big deal at all, really. The thing is, paying child support and insurance is going to start eating half his check (they just told him today that they signed him up for insurance). So we looked around, and we found it was much cheaper to go through BCBS privately, than go through work. Is it going to be a problem to get private insurance, instead of the company's insurance?""

Where can i get cheap car insurance for 20 year old?

hi, im 20 live in liverpool, just bought a ford fiesta flight 1.3 Y reg (2001) 1299cc were can i get insurance for no more than 3000 any tips on what to do aswell had my licence for 8 months""

Insurance for a 2010 Ford Fiesta Edge?

Hi, Im saving up to buy my first car and as it may be used for some fairly long commuting i was wondering what the insurance would cost, i will be shortly taking a driving test and so this would be useful information, as to help me save up the funds in order to buy the car and insure it, the car costs on average 8.995, but there have been cheaper models that are 08,09 etc so what would be a reasonable price for a new shape fiesta edge or style. Thanks 10- points today for the best answer....""

Car insurance for rural carriers for usps?

Doen anybody know if your car insurance rates go up if you are a rural carrier for usps ? I have state farm insurance and have been a little nervous my rates would go way up.

Best cheap auto insurance?

So i'm getting ready to buy my first car on a budget of $1,200, so i want to go as cheap as possible.All i want is liability insurance,basically the bare minimum of what the law will alow me to carry.I am 20 yrs old,just now getting my license,been driving with a learner's permit for the last 2 1/2 yrs. In that time i had one violation,it was a ticket for driving with a broken headlight.I am female,btw.So anyways,what'sa good cut rate insurance company?""

Why is my car insurance the same price?

My car insurance is due up next month and I have been shopping around. I've used all the compare sites like go compare and money supermarket and I m basically the exact same price as I was last year. For the same car. I've been driving 8 years nd have 6 years no claims. I'm 25 and female. Every year it used to go down but now I'm being quotes the same and sometimes more?!

Cheap Auto Insurance for teen?

I live in Houston, TX I've had my license for about 9 months and had no ticket, no accident, nothing! I have GPA over 3.5 finished drivers' ed. where can I get the lowest for manual sedans?""

Thinking Of Insurance For A Car Even Know Im 15.?

Hi There For Ages Now i have been looking for an insurance site that does not have an age restrictor on it Because i am thinking of my first car. I Know quite abit to do with insurance im not a noob e.g ( I Will not be insured on a Nissan Skyline Lol ) Anyway .. I Was just wonderin if any 1 had any sites they would just giv out a price and not ask for your age. I Want my first car to be aither: A Citroen Saxo 1.2 or 1.0L , A Vaxhaul Corsa B Or C 1.2 Or 1.4L Or A Pugeote 106 1.2 , or 1,4 < This 1 I really want The 1.4 Engine. If There Is no such insurance site without an age restrictor Could somebody tell me what price it would be for the 106 1.4 L As A New Driver Please . Thanks And Hope You Answer. :)""

Is the road test hard in nj?

I'm 17 turning 18 in two months. I don't like driving and I've only driven a handful of times. But I'm going to start driving more. I hear from a lot of people that the road test is easy. I'm not gettin lessons my parents are teaching me. So is the test easy or not so much? Also how is parallel parking ad such what is the test like??

Car insurance for husband and wife.?

Recently I went to insure my daughter and her car in the company me and my wife have been insured for some time. I wanted to include myself in her insurance but it went up in premiums a lot and we decided to insure her without me as an additional driver. Before that (last year to be exact) I insured my wife and I was included as a second driver. Basically, I was advised to do so on the basis that it would be cheaper. I heard about this option before and therefore did not check it properly with this company. This time (with my daughter) this option went an opposite way with higher premiums, so I asked them whether I can exclude myself from my wife's insurance as well because my insurance allows me to drive any car, but was told: ...because you are husband and wife, by law you cannot drive her car without being included in her insurance policy whatsoever... I am suspicious about this statement now and feel that I am being cheated. Does anybody know whether this rule exist or is it just the usual salesmen lie? Thank you.""

California or Ohio ?

Which place would be better to stay ?

Can a 17 yr old get there own dental insurance?

Can a 17 yr old get there own dental insurance?

About how much would this increase your car insurance yearly in NJ?

In this case, it does not matter what type of car insurance you have or how much you make. Let's say you're a middle class family with 2 parents and one 17 year old son who drives on a provisional license. He just gained 8 points on his license. About how much will this increase your car insurance per year? And what are ways to lower it (if any)? Please answer thoroughly, and even add tips. Answers will definitely be appreciated.""

non owner car insurance quote california

non owner car insurance quote california

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/what-insurance-company-best-work-foras-agent-jose-chan/"

[dontthink]

5 years

I hate hate hate that question. Because I truly never know...but my response of where I wanted to be has always been pretty much the same without having anything truly defined.

My life has had many twists, turns and unexpected outcomes to adhere to that question. 

31 - 2014 - Live alone in a spacious 1 bedroom. Steady job that has me traveling the states and sometimes the world. I get to suffice many things I enjoy. Both my yearn to design (though not as much as I would like) and my tech side I get to do everyday. No two days are the same and I get to socialize not only with my great fellow co-workers, but clients and delegates. Among many other little positive factors. The negatives are the same, like in any job.

26 - 2009 - Was let-go from a Real Estate company which I despised and hated (blessing in disguise)...or at least it ended that way (even with the money I was able to save up and earn), because of the corruption and greed, petty and shallow motherfuckers that were in and running it. All that people thought I was a part of because of how long I've been working with them (longer than written here). It left me unemployed for the next two years, where I took the time to go back to school and focus on getting back to what I truly loved, DESIGNING. Along, with bettering my lifestyle and livelyhood and becoming a better physical & mental version of myself.  

21 - 2004 - Last year of college. Still living at home (moved out the following year) Graduated a half-year early. Couldnt find design gigs...because I did not go to an art school...went to a business school with a degree in Advertising, wanting to design. I AM SELF-TAUGHT DESIGNER. Decided fuck this, let me go see the world. Went to the furtherst corner I could for 3 months. Came back, 3 more months no work. Finally a break. 3 JOBS! (I am a work-horse). Full Day shift 8-6. Night shift 7-1am. Weekend shift 9-6. I did it all because I enjoyed designing. I lose myself in it. I always have...especially when it just clicks. Still...the same negatives, like in any job. Why I took a job in real estate at 25, was because it gave my the opportunity to finally become my own and not struggle check to check. 

16 - 1999 - What am I, a sophomore/junior in HS. At that time I was drawing and doodling, but because of certain influences, I got into the world 'business' and the career possibilities that existed there, such as Trading in the Stock Market. I was also working at Hollywood Video, grinding. 

11 - 1994 - I dont recall. Was this when AOL first came out? This is where the world of tech was brought to me. And the jump off point of me wanting to deal with computers and hacking and etc. 

THE FUTURE 5

36 - 2019 - FUCK. I dont know...and I am not sure I want to.

Of course, there are many factors within each of those 5 years, where there are different types of turmoil, defeat, uprise, hope, and accomplishments, all which have brought me to be where I am today. 

Maybe not the place where I thought I would be. But where I thought I would be at 25 was married and on my way to having a kid. That in itself was an influence of the 3 girls I grew up with and thats because pretty much every adult I knew had that pattern themselves. 

I have people in my life that have always seemed to have their shit together. Have seemingly made all the right moves, at the right time, to give them the 'picture perfect' type of life..or close to it. Something anyone would be happy to have. 

Then I have a whole other side. 'The Lost'. They are they people who have somehow derailed in life. They are not where they should be or want to be. 

I dont fall into either of those categories. I fall into both. 

I dont believe anyone out there truly has their shit together. I dont think anyone really has a plan. They might have goals, which can help steer a plan into action. 

When someone tells me to get my shit together (even myself), it pisses me off. 

When someone thinks I am lost (even myself), it pisses me off. 

When someone thinks I am doing better than someone else (even myself), it pisses me off. 

Though, maybe I have been going about it all wrong. Maybe, I should have been more proactive instead of reactive (something I have been working on recently), maybe I should've kept grinding 

[tumblunni]

I wish I could hug y'all!

In fact I think I will make it A LIFE GOAL I really really wanna someday be able to visit all my friends who live in different countries! Its something good to save up for, even if it'll probably take years. So.. lets randomly ramble in a journal about Plans!! IDEA THE FIRST TRIP THE FIRST FIRST THE FIRST: THE SEQUEL I think it'd probably make sense to go to america first, since i have a lot of close friends living there and I don't need to learn another language. (I am notoriously dumb...) But then afterwards I could set another goal to save up and visit another friend in another country! IT WILL NEVER ENDDDDD, THATS WHY ITS CALLED FRIENNNNDDDDD So far all I have confirmed is that two of my friends would be happy to see me if I was able to visit america, @darkeiya and @summon-daze But its not like I've exactly asked everyone else, so I dunno really how many people I might be able to visit. And it depends on time constraints too, i might only be able to spend a full day or two with the closest friends and maybe then if there's more than three of us we could all meet up together and hang out en masse? Depends on how tricky it'd be for everyone to get to the same place! SO! PLANS AND THINGS I NEED TO PREPARE! workin to figure out a precise money goal im gonna save for * Become Fab * no but srsly i wanna look my best if im meeting friends in person for the first ever time. need to acquire Cool T-Shirts * figure out what exactly you can and cannot take on an aeroplane, and how to deal with anxiety if i cant take electronics. Nothing's as distracting as videogames when you're freakin out! * DO NOT SCHEDULE ANYTHING ON THE 11th-14th OF THE MONTH. i have a bad history of my period landing on these days ONLY when i have to do something important. Or when its my birthday :P I dont need even more reason to feel nauseous on a plane! * figure out how many days the stay will be, and how many clothes etc I need to bring. probably a basic thing, but this is my first time going on a holiday alone so i need to write stuff down to make sure i remember! * figure out how long exactly I want to spend with each friend, and how long I can afford in hotel fees. And does a plane ticket cos more if you're staying for longer? * find out what kind of luggages are easiest to carry and how to carry three luggages when i have two hands. Can you tie them together and make a luggages train??? * Find some sort of secure way to carry large amounts of money. I'm gonna have to do that since I need to get all my currency converted before I go. I was thinking maybe a little matchbox tin chained to the inside of my coat or around my neck? Something where you couldnt get it without roughhousing with me, and it'd still be hard to pull it off the chain. Gives me a precious few extra minutes to yell for help/possibly bludgeon a guy with a suitcase * Figure out hotel(s) in different areas of america, depending on how far I'll have to travel. And figure out affordable ways to travel the difference if its not a situation where the friend can pick me up. And make sure they are cool hotels, not just the absolute minimum! i wanna make a fun tourist experience of the hotels!! I havent been in a hotel since I was a kid! * Possibly schedule it like a 'safehouse' thing? Returning to home base! I need to make sure I schedule around the potential anxiety of doing so much travel in a new place. So maybe schedule it out so I have a period of me-time in between visiting each friend? Itd probably cost too much to rent a hotel room for an entire day in between so maybe just schedule it out so I have half a day at least. I dunno if hotels allow you to sleep in all day tho, are there rules about what time you need to be up and out? * I'm kinda looking forward to using hotel beds and showers cos theyre like luxury compared to my house XD man, I wonder if I could get a place with a hot tub?? or the fabled mini-bar?? (which i would drink nothing of, but it would be fun to take photos!) And it'd be so cool to see what american breakfasts are like! And lol all my friends have just been like 'YOU NEED TO SEE OUR LOCAL RESTAURANTS' and im like... dude, i dont need to get fatter XD lets limit it to ONE! * I dunno if my friends would just wanna hang out in their local mall or something, or if I could visit their house and say hi to their family? that might be going too far. i'll still bring gifts they can give to their family tho, i wanna show my appreciation to everyone!! * are you allowed to bring extra empty suitcases onto the plane with you? I'm anticipating that knowing myself im probably gonna buy enough souveniers to need one. I'm planning to basically have half the money be for travel and then half again is just for buying NOVELTY HATS! * need to make sure to finally get a passport, and also consult heavily with my support worker and friends to make sure i have every form of travel documentation in order. I know stuff is... not good, in america right now. Thats probably why it'd be good that it'd take me years to save up for a visit, hopefully i'd be there after the next election. But I need to prepare anyway, in case border control is even more stringent. * Prepare the 'ol misgendering, because getting strip searched and treated as a suspicious threat is a very big reality for trans people. Having the wrong gender marker on your birth certificate is treated as 'this passport must be a forgery' rather than.. yknow.. transgender people exist. And then you need to be invasively handled by the guards to make sure you aren't packing explosives down your goddamn pants, they have to inspect the parts of you that you're most self concious about. *shudder* I've heard a lot of horror stories. I dunno if america is any better about it. But yeah I'm probably gonna have to just pass as female during boarding and hotels and stuff, and not wear my binder til i get to meet my friends. Saves trouble... Man, I might have to even go buy some more cliche feminine outfits or something, to make sure. Itd be fun burning them afterwards, I guess... * BRING GIFTS FOR FRIENDS N FAMILY! Figure out what is and isnt allowed to be transferred between countries. As far as I know I cant bring any form of food or drink right? I'm only allowed to eat the in-flight meals? Thats a shame cos I wanted to bring welsh cakes, theyre the only one of our local delicacies that's not a super acquired taste. (I tried bara bryth for the first time and DIED) And I dunno if anyone would be interested in silly souveniers of my country but I could get a pile of em if you are! Want an eight foot tall lovespoon? Want a giant inflatable daffodil? Want a bazillion ceramic dragons? * I am determined to bring at least one personalized super awesome gift for each person! It might just be an expensive merchandise of their fave show, it might be some form of handmade handicraft of one of their ocs! whatever I'm able to do! ^_^ * BRING SKETCHBOOKS SO WE CAN DRAW TOGETHER. LEARN THE WAYS OF THE AMERICAN MASTERS. * hey does anyone wanna trade trading cards yo. They'd be like the single easiest thing to bring with me, but I only have a handful of pokemon ones and i only really have one friend that I know likes yugioh. (And she's in england) * WE CAN FOOL AROUND LIKE DOOFS. God willing, if anyone wants to join me I will play water balloon tennis or jalapeno roulette or any sort of insane friend activity you can think of!! Gotta make up for the fact im a boring teetotaler. Tho lol I probably already act more drunk than the real drunks at a party XD * TAKE A LOT OF PHOTOS!! And possibly try and acquire a portable video camera? I'd only photo/video anyone if they gave me permission, and I wouldnt post it online unless I also had permission for that. I just wanna make a lot of memories and record them forever! Whenever I feel down, I can remember this amazing trip!!! * remember to get one of those plug adaptor thingies cos american plugs have one less prong. Gotta trade the pokeymons!! I know I can already do that easily online but BATTLING IN PERSON WOULD BE EPIC * ...bring an Ash cosplay? XD * no but seriously if i could schedule this right to coincide with an american convention or something that'd be awesome! EVEN MORE SOUVENIERS! And I could actually try cosplaying!! I'd have to find a character that suits me tho, I dont wanna get laughed at like everyone always does with fat people cosplaying thin characters. (Like... almost every character is thin, yo. let people do what they want) * possible idea: magma admin tabitha from pokemon? he's like the only fave I have who's chubby but not like... inherantly a comic relief ugly guy or a seventy year old grandpa. I wanted to do quina quen from final fantasy 9 but I dont think I have the charisma to pull it off. I'd get paranoid if people just treated the character how they treat the character, my brain would twist everything into an insult on my costume or myself XD also I kinda already look like tabitha, tho I'd either have to go without hairdye or like... wear a wig in my natural hair colour. Also his costume is super heavy and sweaty in a convention setting, according to what I;ve heard from other team magma cosplayers. (Makes you wonder how on earth they all wore it on a volcano!) * WHAT IS AN AMERICAN BISCUIT. They look like savoury welshcakes??? Learn about all the language differences! Man I wish I could bring food souveniers back with me, I'd never be able to try every single different foodstuff in america in one day without DYING. AND DYING AGAIN. * Collect product wrappers and advertisements! Its always really interesting to me to see the differences between countries! A friend mailed me an american cola once and the bottle was a whole different shape??? (he also mailed me a bunch of spent shotgun shells, which was kinda terrifying cos I was currently in a christian homeless shelter and I didnt exactly wanna cause trouble XD Apparantly it is totally legal to own unuseable bullets tho, as long as you dont have a gun.) * I dunno if any of my friends would be equally interested in similar things? i could take requests for weird british stuff to bring with me! * for summon-daze specifically: since we are both cuddly honest goofballs of childlike joy, maybe bring some of my plushie collection to show her? I'd usually just bring one as an emergency anti-anxiety measure. Tho the embarassment from having a full on meltdown in public and having to be seen hugging a plush toy to keep from crying means its not 100% effective. Only works good when I'm with people who arent judgmental. Secret pocket gengar plush is good for other times! (I've been squeezing that thing during doctors appointments and nobody noticed!) * extra reason why I'd love to visit my friends: visiting my friends's pets. I have been absolutely blessed by images of dazy's pet cat Pam, and apparantly her family has a few other cats and a dog! O_O WHAT AN AMAZING LIFE YOU LIVE. I always tell her to give pam a hug from me, and I know pam probably wouldnt like me very much when we first meet cos she's shy, but still I'd love to at least see her. I wish cats could somehow know that they give joy to people through the internet! * ...are you allowed to bring medications across the border? is there a procedure I need to go through to be allowed to bring my antidepressants? Would painkillers be allowed too? If not, is there anywhere I could buy plane-bring-onnable headache meds in the lobby or something? Just anticipating that I might get a stress migraine on the plane, cos it'd be my first time ever flying. * are you allowed to take photos out the plane window, if you use a non electronic camera? i know you cant really see anything but panning landscapes but it still sounds awesome!

[ill-love-you-more-i-promise-blog]

issues

i just realized, with gaining a couple followers, that i post a lot of private stuff. i dont care, because i use this as a release of issues. my mom follows this blog, but i dont think she pays much attention to it.  anyways, todays issues boys is: social media. 

my boyfriend says i post pictures that make him uncomfortable and that i am trying to show off myself so someone will compliment me.  in his exact words : 

” I don't understand your games. I asked you to give up SM for me and not even an hour after being home your already on it and asking why it makes me upset. It shouldnt matter why, I asked you and that's what matters. You keep telling me you will do anything to make things better between us and that you'd change to see it happen but how is questioning my request and not even attempting 5o abide by it. I asked to ditch snap a while back and you agreed to that, yet I still hear of you on it. Look Idk how to get it across to you but I don't like the idea of you and SM. I hate that your all over the place in pictures and posts that advertise well... You. I message you... I only have fb installed and as of the past month or so its only been because I want to keep tabs on you to make sure you're not doing anything stupid, other than that I message you and nothing else. I'm tired of hearing your talking to this person or talking to that person. You hear rumors and then dont know why they exist and the answer is in what your posting out. You're giving ammo to those who want to start shit as well as making me upset that I'm not enough. You can't say I am else you wouldnt have to post a picture because you look fabulous or share a post because its cute and you wish it would happen in your life. Your telling me little lies about how much your on or how long and who you're talking to and I'm done with it. I want you to just stop trying not to hurt me and fucking tell me the truth. I'm done with sitting around wondering what picture someone is about to get on snap or Instagram, I'm tired of sitting and wondering if the next like on a picture of yours is going to give reason for you to tell someone your taken, in tired of wondering when your finally just going to stop saying or taken or if you already have... I feel like I have nothing of you... You post out everything on a daily and I'm left to catch up or not get the update. The only thing I have on anyone atm is that I've seen you naked and I am starting to question that as well... The readoning behind what I ask shouldn't be what clicks... If you really would do anything for me... Why do you question everything I ask? Have I not done what youve asked this far?” 

  AND 

“Its that your on so much and everyone always knows what's going on in your life before me. I sit at home and lock myself in my room with my games because I really only care about you. You post your pictures and stuff and it gives room for other people to try to hit you up and as it is we already have bad communication... In a nutshell I guess its jealousy. Its not lack of trust, though the things you leave out and let me find out on my own dont help. If youd communicate I would be better with this. But as it stands... I hate the idea of either of us on SM. Talk to who you want just when I ask tell me... I'm not going to go through your phone or your stuff because I don't feel that I should need to” 

so even though i got rid of Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat, he still thinks that i dont do enough. im always a day late and a dollar short with him. thats what he says. 

my therapist says i am letting him control me. maybe so. but i really dont know what to do. even if im so unhappy, i wouldnt leave him. ive seen what men do when women leave them.  ive seen my mother get beat. ive seen my father[s] take things way to far. and this boy, is nothing like them. hes perfect. i love him. but in the same breath, i cant stand his controlling habits. his outrageous jealousy.  i told him i was ok with it, but i lied. hes bringing me away from everyone else. 

not that im going to leave him. the good parts outweigh the bad parts 

 and truthfully, its better sticking with the shit youre used to then starting over. and god do i want to keep this boy. hes done so good. hes literally saved my life. i dont ever want anyone else to have him. 

[djsamaha-blog]

The 6 Things You Need To Do To Change Your Life In 2016

This is a brief snapshot of my last three years:

2013: Started the year as a Senior Director in Kraft Foods in New York; ended the year sleeping on the floor of a yoga ashram fifty miles from Madurai in a forest in South India.

2014: Started the year as an unpublished novelist with sixty rejections; ended the year with an international book deal with Penguin Random House.

2015: Started the year in my dream job as the Chief Marketing Officer of a Brooklyn based start-up; ended the year having quit the job to launch The Yoga of Maxs Discontent in the US and set up my independent income stream.

This isnt a humble-brag kind of a post. Theres no straight line of success here. Rather, its a series of starts and stops, a zig-zag line of coming more and more into myself, all of it predicated by a hunger to constantly re-invent. Re-invent. Build things, then tear them down, then build a new thing again, because stasis is not an option. If you arent moving forward, you are falling back. So if youre ready to embrace a little turbulence, and a lot of fear(that weird heady feeling of excitement in your gut), then this is your guide on how to re-invent yourself in 2016. Note, I wont tell you to exercise or meditate. You should do those everyday of course but they are enablers to the goal, not the goal itself. Dont put all your mental energy into running a 10K race. If your goal isnt so insurmountable that it slashes your insides, then its not a goal. So heres how to change your life:

1. Create (or at least to create).

If a mans life is measured by the extent of its impact on others, then dont push paper around. Create stuff thats going to enhance peoples lives. A product. An idea. Art. A book. A philosophy. A company. An agency. A new way of doing things in your job, whatever. The world will disproportionately reward the creator. Its simple supply-demand economics. 2% of people are creating art, 98% are consuming art (2001 census). 13% of people are entrepreneurs. 87% of people work for them. 10% of executives in a company create new systems, 90% follow them (Gallup). Be in the Top 2%, 10%, 13%, and get results ahead of the majority. And the results arent just financial. You lose your sense of self, experience an instant of divinity, become truly alive when you create. Stuck for ideas? Maybe its time for that long overdue sabbatical? Try it. Youll never regret it.

2. Kickstart yourside hustle.

Ive been in marketing roles with P&G, BCG etc. since 2002 so I can tell you with some confidence that the last 3-5 years are a watershed in business history. With Facebook advertising, Instagram advertising, and continued improvement in Search/Ad Words etc., you can reach the exact target audience for your passion product in incredibly cost efficient ways. Seven years ago when I launched my first novel, Keep off the Grass, my only option to reach my readers was to hire an expensive PR agency that begged media outlets for coverage. This year, when I launched The Seeker in India, I reached everyone who had read similar books at a fraction of the cost. Old models are changing. Barriers to entry are crashing. The balance of power is shifting to the Davids. If you have a passion for anything, photography, writing, playing the guitar, whatever, you have no excuses anymore. Start on the side today (2016), become excellent (2017), and youll start making good money off it in 2018 to quit your main gig in 2019. Work your guts out to become excellentthats the only requirement the world is placing on you today.

3. Read like a maniac.

Work in the morning, play with your kids in the evening, do your side hustle in the night, then from 10p.m.-midnight, read until your eyes burn. Dont read everything you can lay your hands on. Plant a seed in your mind and nurture that seed by ravishing it with the best ideas in the world. In 2015, I planted a seed in my head about creating my own independent income stream. So just like Id done in 2013 with meditation and 2014 with writing, I read 50+ books to nurture the idea. Here are 3 examples (until this year youd never have found non-fiction/self-help on my book shelf):

a. The Millionaire Fastlane (Horrible title, great book) b. The Art of Non Conformity c. Think and Grow Rich

I also readTim Ferriss’ Four Hour Work WeekandJames Altucher’s blogevery day,and I followGary Vaynerchuck on Youtube.

I don’tknow the exact impact of my reading. Perhaps I change 0.5% for every book I read. But thats the magic of compounding. If youre changing 0.5% each day, its going to add up at the end of the yearand your world will transform.

4. Avoid thebusy-ness trap.

Do you feel you are rushing too much? Or your schedule is so packed already that theres no time for a side hustle? Then, carefully scrutinize your day and ruthlessly eliminate the 80% of relationships that are adding <20% of emotional value to your life. If your stomach knots with dread but you feel you need to do something only because of social norm, then dont do it. Youre not helping anyonenot yourself, not the person youre supposedly doing things for. Remember, growth=number of difficult conversations youre having everyday. Have the tough conversations and eliminate the dross. Busy-ness is a choice. This year, I chose not to be busy by skipping happy hours and obligatory family events that leave me depressed. I still failed a few times and attended too many dinners I didnt want to go to. Im going to be even stricter with my time in 2016.

5. Become a venture-capitalist Monk.

Your side hustle is your passion. Your day job sucks. No big deal. Dont quit, dont complain. Become a venture capitalist, a Robin Hood for your own ideas. Make money in your day job and pour it into your side projects. Take the best writing course in the world if youre an aspiring writer. Advertise your wedding photography business. Take a week off and learn filmmaking in New York. Rent store space for your cupcake shop. Dont buy houses and cars and expensive dinners at Nobu or whatever else people burn their money on. Live like a monk. Strip your life of the non-essentials and seek salvation only in nurturing your soul. Everything else is dust as the Buddha would say. Invest in your own growth because you are the one asset thats going to appreciate year-after-year no matter the economic environment.

6. Finally, train yourself to think only exceptional thoughts.

Nietzsche and Victor Frankl said it best. To live is to suffer and your suffering is like air in a balloonit will fill your whole heart. You can either fill your heart with mediocre thoughts like and and . Or you can pause and torment yourself with bigger thoughts, such as:Why was the world created? Does God exist? How do I live my purpose? Can I step up my side hustle? Exceptional thoughts lead to exceptional actionsand nothing less shouldbe your goal next year!

Read more: http://thoughtcatalog.com/karan-bajaj/2016/01/the-6-things-you-need-to-do-to-change-your-life-in-2016/