#i have no idea how to consistently post about my work on social media like most people do

[maxillo]

just now occured to me that maybe I have vastly different expectations and presentation methods of content specifically because i got my start on wikia

[mintjeru]

The symptoms you’re describing sounds a whole lot like burn out, which happens to the best of us when we push ourselves too long and hard past our limits. It definitely would seem easier to rely on external statistics (likes and reblogs/retweets) to determine the value of your work when you can’t see it yourself, but this is definitely something that can make you feel worse when the numbers don’t hit your expected target. Regardless of the size of your audience, it’s not unreasonable to want or desire for interaction and positive feedback for work you’ve put time and effort into producing, especially when you’ve done so with more limited resources (time/energy etc) than you had access to before. While it’s not a sure-fire way to cure burnout, taking a break and getting enough rest as well as allowing yourself some breathing space can help. Take care of yourself! Love your work—but don’t burn yourself down to the ground! There’s only one like and one reblog that I can give 😢 even if I want to give more…

hey anon! first, thank you for taking the time to write and send this in 🥺 second, it's a bit of a late reply bc i started crying while reading this for the first time and had to come back to it later ajdsdjfsjdf ;;;

you're probably right, i think it is burnout. i've been telling myself otherwise for months now bc i've been worried that the frequency of my posts has set myself up for others to expect something of me + not making art to share would be letting my followers down. but that's also locked me in a cycle of feeling guilty for either not drawing or making something that has no love behind it. logically, i know that taking a break would help, but i'm apparently not the best at allowing myself to take it easy 😅 still, i'll take your words to heart.

ty again for this, and i promise your one like and reblog is enough! i'm thankful that you leave notes on my posts and immensely grateful that you would even consider giving more <3

[tadpoles-and-daydreams]

A ramble on imposter syndrome and the accessibility of witchcraft

So, I’ve been thinking. I think a lot in case you haven’t noticed. Specifically, I’ve been thinking about the major imposter syndrome I’ve been feeling lately in regards to this blog. TL;DR is at the bottom of this post.

People have been, occasionally, sending me asks requesting my opinion on things/how I do things/what I know about XYZ topic. If you are one of these people, I promise I’m not vagueposting about you in particular- in fact, I love these questions! They’re so fun to get and they actually make me sit and think sometimes, or even encourage me to write out something that I’ve been meaning to for my book of shadows. Genuinely, they're wonderful asks to receive. These questions have made me confront something, however; my blog is still small, but some people actually like what I write and value my opinion even if just a little. 

I feel like a mimic hiding in the witchcraft community. I feel like, were people to truly understand my experiences, they would want to “expose” me for knowing so little.

So I sat down with those feelings and turned it over in my head and I’ve come to a conclusion. The fact is, I don’t do research. At least- not what I think of when people talk about research. My "research" consists of the occasional rabbit hole I go down, one and two halves of different books I never finished under my belt, what I see scrolling through various social medias, and conversations I've had with other witches. I check to make sure I'm not stepping on the toes of any closed practices- in fact, that's what most of my energy goes to when it comes to research. This isn't a complaint; I'd much rather know that my craft isn't appropriative.

But I don’t know much about mythology, even that of the deities I work with. I don't even remember the holidays and what they're for. I thought Nyx was an Egyptian deity until like four months ago because I'd just heard her name in passing as a child and had never looked into the mythology... Even though I mainly work with the pantheon she belongs to. Y’all, I’ve done like three spells that I remember. My book of shadows is a messy disaster and I love it but it's got so little information in it, because I rarely write things down. Most resources (especially mythology resources) are academically worded or difficult to read for me personally, and all of these things feel like secrets I have to guard with my life because if I were to ever say them aloud, people would know I'm a fraud.

Today I've come to the conclusion that that is, in fact, absolute bullshit.

Maybe it's not, maybe this post will make some people really upset, but in my practice it's bullshit. All of the above is a result of my ADHD and the fact that I am nothing if not a hands-on learner. My craft is mostly my own experiences because that's how my whole life is; I learn by doing. My ideal learning style is sitting with another autistic person whose special interest is whatever I'm learning about and just talking for five hours, but if that's not something I can do, puzzling it out myself is the next best thing. That's what I've been doing ever since I felt had a basic foundation for my craft. Hell, even before I had a foundation I was putting my own experiences into my craft because "Well that rule just doesn't fucking vibe with me."

This post is mostly for me, but partially for anyone who feels similar. We are not broken or doing witchcraft/paganism wrong. We are simply what happens when the kid who could never do homework ends up practicing the "religion/spirituality that comes with homework." Witchcraft and paganism, in my experience, is far from accessible when it comes to the typical image of it. UPG is what makes it accessible. So yes, my practice is heavily UPG, and I don't do as much research as I think people have assumed. But I'm going to let go of the idea that I'm a fraud, because frankly I know enough about witchcraft to have supported my practice this whole time and my deities haven't smited me yet so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

TL:DR:

Fuck the rules, I don't do much research. I've researched the "basics" and what I need to so I'm not stepping on any toes of closed practices, but people seem to think I know way more than I actually do. I've felt like I was lying this whole time but frankly witchcraft just isn't accessible to someone with my flavor of auDHD, so my craft relies heavily on UPG and I've decided that I'm not broken or wrong for that and neither is anyone else. I'm tired of seeing myself as an imposter just because I make my practice doable for me.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for calling out my girlfriend for being fake about our relationship on social media?

So I (26M) have a girlfriend (26F) let's call her Zoe. Zoe and I have been dating for three years, and she is a good person, I fell in love with her because she's compassionate and kind and she came across as genuine. However she is also a hopeless romantic, she idealizes romantic relationships and she is very emotionally codependent even though she claims she's not when her friends point this out to her.

Ever since we started dating, Zoe constantly posts about our relationship online, about how perfect everything is even though our relationship isn't perfect because no relationship is. For example she will post something like "communication is key" and days later, if I notice she's quiet and upset, I ask her what's wrong and she's like "nothing, goodbye." Other times she has asked me to take selfies with her during a date and then she would spend the rest of the date on her phone, posting our selfies and basking in the feedback. I use social media too and I think it's OK to occasionally post about our relationship, but she does it too much too often and it's honestly something I don't like. I feel like we're putting up a performance I don't even want to be a part of, and when I try to bring this up and talk about how it makes me feel, Zoe just snaps, starts yelling about how there is nothing wrong with showing the world how much we love each other, and she ends up crying until I feel so bad I apologize to her.

Zoe idealizes everything about our relationship on her social media. From what we had for lunch to what I bought her for her birthday. But I feel uncomfortable knowing that she's straight up lying to people by saying our relationship is perfect. Zoe is a good person and I don't want to lose her, but I just don't like it when someone flaunts their partner 24/7, man, woman or genderqueer. It feels forced, fake, and like you are trying to get validation from the whole world, including them in your relationship. Our relationship should only consist of Zoe and I (we aren't polyamorous). It makes me feel like dating me and loving me is her only personality trait. When we started dating we were 23 and I thought it was cute and adorable, but now I realize I don't like that anymore. Now I think emotional independence is much more attractive. Zoe is a lovely person but she's codependent, she acts like a little girl at times and I'm starting to feel more like my role is to be a father to her, not a boyfriend, which is honestly not something I'm into.

A couple of days ago we had an argument about this because I told her she can't keep calling me every two hours. Zoe needs a lot of reassurance because her fear of abandonment is extremely debilitating and I understand that, but part of becoming an adult is learning how to cope with our own fears and insecurities; she just expects me to manage it for her and calls me when I'm at work, at the doctor, at my parent's place, with my friends, etc. I feel like I'm not allowed to have a life outside of her and I told her I do want to give her emotional support, but that she also needs to learn how to manage her own fears herself.

She got really upset and as always I apologized, then she took a selfie with me and posted it before adding again how true love always wins in the end and how she couldn't have asked for a better boyfriend, how she couldn't imagine herself with anyone else and how she didn't want to imagine herself with anyone else, how perfect we are for each other and how perfect our relationship is and I just couldn't take it anymore. I told Zoe she was being fake and projecting an illusion of perfection that was not real, and that she should stop lying and pretending our relationship is all perfect and happy and a fairytale-like because I don't want to be idealized, and she seems to love the idea of love, the idea of me and not the actual me. I was sick of not being able to speak my mind out of fear that her feelings would get hurt again. I'm tired of being something she flaunts. I do think good relationships aren't that loud about how good they are and even though I love Zoe, I don't like how fake she was being and clearly I am no longer what she needs to feel secure in a relationships.

After I told her she was being fake, she then blocked my phone number, she has gone incredibly silent on her social media (even though I know she's okay because today she posted a meme about how horrible men are) and I feel like an asshole. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[bewareofchris]

I've been on the writer's tag again.

Listen guys.

Nobody owes your fanfic anything. I know that you want validation and adoration and those are both completely normal things to want. But this obsessive demand for comments over kudos and reblogs over likes is A Problem.

I won't bore you with tales of yore where we literally punted our fiction into the world with no idea of how it was being perceived by others because the only way to know if anyone even glanced at it was by the incredibly inaccurate page counter on our shitty geocities page.

(But that was a thing and it's semi-relevant to my point.)

A lot of you are growing up in a era of social media and viral marketing. You are babies of the influencer age, raised on the myth that if you can just get enough attention you'll get famous for something. I don't mean 10 million followers on insta famous but famous in your specific sphere.

That will not happen for you.

Not because people aren't reblogging your shit or writing out loving comments but because it's a myth. The idea that if you shame, beg and cajole enough people into interacting with your creation you'll access some serotonin high and ascend to a greater state of being is also a myth.

Here's the truth:

Most writers do not know how the majority of their audience feels about their fics. Those very few novels that you see on booktok, X (former twitter) or wherever else you get your writing news represent an infinitesimal portion of stories written and books published.

Most writers do have writing buddies or trusted members of an inner circle that they share their writing with.

For most fandoms, fanfics are so plentiful it's like going into a mall sized grocery store that sells only apples and then demanding the customer review every apple they touch.

For those few fanfics that you see that have an outrageous number of comments there are three possible explanations: 1. that person is what we used to call a "Big Name Ficcer" and they have amassed a following through consistent production of whatever that fandom is into, 2. that is a fic so long you have to sign a waiver to start reading it and despite the fact it was started seven years ago its still getting updated, or 3. that person is writing a viral fic in a fandom that is presently on fire.

Your self worth and self esteem cannot be tied to writing and posting fanfiction. It might be a fun outlet or you might be looking for your viral moment, but either way the moment you start weighing your worth as an author or creator based on what a bunch of strangers on the internet think of you is the moment you give up on yourself.

Social media has brainwashed you into thinking that you must be recognized and rewarded for the things that you put onto the internet. Or maybe it hasn't brainwashed you, maybe you just want to get a comment because you worked super hard on something and you feel like if you can't even get one decent response then its all been wasted. (I.e. you've been brainwashed into the feeling that you need the validation of strangers for happiness purposes.)

So what are you going to do about this?

Get off the internet. I don't mean permanently. I don't even mean literally. I mean take yourself out of the spaces that reinforce the idea that you need validation from strangers to be happy. Stop going on the social media sites for a few days (or a few weeks). If you've got a friend in fandom that you share fics, headcanons, ideas or anything with start chatting with them about something you want to write. Invest in them, in what they're doing and their opinions and how they react to your creations.

Put your shit on the internet like you literally don't give a fuck about anyone's opinion. Explain nothing about your writing choices. Put warnings, no more than 5 tags and drop that shit into the world like a newborn giraffe. Then ignore it.

Teach yourself to seek validation from your accomplishments: write a slightly longer fic, write a fic in a different genre, write a fic in a different rating, write a fic in a different fandom.

Find an actual friend that you actually interact with whose opinion you know matters because you agree on the important stuff.

Stop begging strangers for compliments like a cartoon hobo shaking a cup for coins. You're better than that.

[evstostuff]

Consequences To Your Actions

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Reader

Warning: 18+, language, little bit of nipple play, no sex, bit of dirty talk, French petname, fingering, female receiving

Word count: 1,637���.a sort of short one to ease me back in

Note: I just want to apologise for how crappy I have been with my writing. Really really hoping I can get back into it again.

A little bit of excitement for you guys...I have a mafia Carlos idea brewing at the moment so that should be interesting!!

My requests are definitely open so if you want something specific let me know :)

His eyes rolled.

He rolled them into oblivion.

You felt the anger bubble up inside of you. How could he be so stupid to roll his eyes with several cameras, interviewers and team staff. 

His arrogance radiated, everyone could feel it.

Charles had finally got a podium. It was a massive boost to his confidence, hence the whole pompous act he had going on during the post race press conference with Max and Checo.

The press wasn’t paying him any attention and it was clearly eating away at his ego.

His eyes locked on yours. You scowled at him, expressing your distain for his attitude.

Your scolding stare did nothing but bought a smirk to spread across his lips.

His smirk had the desired effect. You could feel the moisture gathering in the lace of your panties.

You and Charles had a mutual agreement. No strings, just sex and keep it quiet. It was a perfect setup, both healing from past relationship wounds and travelling around the world with the same schedule. It satisfied you both. Due to the four week long break between Australia and Azerbaijan, you both hadn’t seen each due to family and work commitments.

The press conference had started to wrap up as you got a text from your boss asking you to come to her office. 

Shit.

She must have seen Charles reaction. Notifications had started to flood in on all social media platforms, picking up on Charles’ little eye roll. 

You stormed out of the media room with Charles following quickly at your heels.

“Y/N wait for me.” The Monegasque shouted after you.

Luckily the Ferrari hospitality wasn’t too far from the media rooms.

Charles’ fingers touched the bare skin on your arm. His touched burned deep into your skin and started to radiate through your body. You were snapped out of your trance as you turned and slammed into his muscular fireproof clad chest.

“What?” 

Confusion flooded his features.

“Y/N…” He whispered.

“You know what Charles, you may have just got a podium after a shitty couple of races but it doesn’t mean you get to ruin everyone else day just because your ego got bruised due the conference.” Your words dripped with venom.

“I’m so sor.”

“Save your apology. Thanks to you I am about to get told off because you cannot control your actions and be mature.”

Charles’ face dropped as he studied your features. He had never seen you this angry before.

You turned away from him and rushed to your manager’s office.

The meeting consisted of you getting scolded like a toddler about how unprofessional Charles had been and that you should’ve prepared him properly for the conference. 

Walking out of the hospitality building you looked at your phone. Two new messages from Charles.

Charles: I am so sorry Y/N, I acted like a dick and didn’t think how it would affect you.

Charles: This is not how I wanted this weekend to go after not seeing you for four weeks. I’m in my drivers room, come see me please x

You sighed. All the anger disappeared at his apology.

Slowly you made your way to his driver room.

His door was left slightly open. “Charles. It’s me.” 

Your eyes scanned the Monégasque. His race suit still hanging off his hips, his fireproof top clinging to ever curve of his muscles. This is how you liked him, post race and untamed. 

“I am so sorry Y/N. I wasn’t thinking at all about how my actions could reflect on you. Please forgive me.” Charles closed the gap between you to enclose your face in his large hands.

His touch sent shivers throughout you body. 

All weekend the pair of you had struggled. You wanted nothing more but to be alone with Charles so that you could both forget about the pressures and demands of the job. 

His eyes stared into yours. The green orbs begged more than his words did for forgiveness. You wanted to forgive him but something about this all seemed like it was far too easy for him.

“I don’t know Charles. That meeting was awful, she really laid into me. If you really are sorry, you’ll show me.” You held Charles eye contact as you detached his hands from your cheeks.

His hopefully eyes dropped into sadness.

“Actions speak louder than words Char.” You purred as you smirked up at him.

You watched Charles’ eyes wash with lust.

“Oh mon cherie, I’m going to show you how sorry I really am.” 

He looked at you like you were his next meal. He played the game of cat and mouse too well. He closed the gap, you stepped back repeatedly until your back hit door. 

Charles wrapped his hand around your neck and slammed his lips on your. The kiss was rough, filled with so much desire, it made your knees weak. You gave up all control to him and let his tongue roam your mouth as his other hand made it’s way down you body and to your skirt.

You were dripping. You arousal started to seem through the lace of your thong and down you thigh as Charles kissed and sucked all the right places on your neck. Your small moans bounced off the walls of his driver room.

“Be a good girl and stay quiet for me or you’ll get us caught.” Charles whispered in your ear as his fingers dipped into you panties and circled your clit.

He was right where you craved him. The pleasure washed through you. All you wanted to do was moan his name, tell him and everyone how good he made you feel. 

“Take it off.” Charles grunted at you, eyes shifting to your shirt.

You did as you were told. The shirt was gone in seconds.

Charles chuckled.

“You that eager for me to see those pretty tits of yours.” Charles eyes were glued to your breasts as they rose with your heavy breathing.

The feeling of Charles’ fingers was staring to become overwhelming. He was pleasuring you but by god was he dragging it out.

Slow sloppy kisses along your neck.

Gentle nibbles on your earlobes.

Fingers circling your clit leaving you wanting him to do so much more.

“Char pl..please more.” 

Your eyes locked, pleading for him to give you something. His free hand pulled a cup of your bra down.

You watched in awe as Charles’ tongue flicked over your hard nipple, causing you whimper at the pleasure shooting down to your core.

Charles fingers came away from your clit and down towards where your wetness was leaking. Without warning, he pushed one singular finger inside you.

“Charles.” You were getting impatient. The orgasm you craved was teetering on the edge. 

One look in your eyes and Charles knew you were close.

Charles added a second finger. He started off gentle, curling his fingers against your g-spot.

You were a mess. Mascara streamed down your face due to the torture Charles was making you endure.

“I really am sorry mon cherie.” Charles whispered in your ear.

“I only ever want to make that pussy wet.”

The speed of his fingers increased.

“I want to always make you look this fucked every time I have my fingers inside you.”

He adjusted the angle of his fingers.

“I only ever want to hear you moaning my name and begging me to fuck you.”

Charles got faster. It was the perfect combination.

His possessive word caused your head to tilt back against the door as the the knot of pleasure in your stomach started to reach its peak.

“I don’t ever want to make you mad.”

You were so close. Charles could feel you clenching around his fingers.

“Cum for me mon cherie.” Charles whispered as he latched himself to your exposed nipple.

His words of encouragement pushed you over the edge. 

“Fuuuck Char.” 

There was nothing you could do, your whole body washed with pleasure as you throbbed around Charles’ fingers.

“That’s it, that’s a good girl.” Charles cooed, holding you steady as he continued to help you ride out your orgasm.

Charles just watched, dick completely hard against his race suit leaking with pre-cum.

A knock on the door interrupted both of your trances.

“Charles, it’s Pierre you ready to leave yet?”

“Shit what do we do?” You frantically pushed Charles away from you.

“Just go into the bathroom.” Charles picked your shirt up and pushed you towards the small bathroom.

You re-dressed and adjusted yourself whilst trying to listen into what the two drivers where talking about. 

“Mate, why does it look like you’ve just had sex?”

You sniggered at Pierre’s question. Shit. 

The door swung open.

“Hi y/n. Your mascara is a bit smudged” Pierre smirked.

You frantically rubbed at your face trying to remove the marks and hide your embarrassment.

“Erm thanks.” You smiled at the Frenchman.

“Well it’s about time you two did something about the sexual tension. It was really starting to make the paddock uncomfortable.”

Both you and Charles looked at Pierre in confusion. Both of you had tried to be discreet.

He rolled his eyes and tutted.

“I’ll meet you at the car Charles. Don’t be too long will you.” Pierre winked and walked off.

You checked in the mirror that you had removed the mascara smudges from your face and turned to Charles.

“Don’t ever piss me off like that again.” You pointed at him.

“You seemed to enjoy the apology though.” Charles smirked, eyeing you up and down.

“Just because I enjoyed it doesn’t mean you are forgiven.”  You cooed as you went to leave.

Charles grabbed your wrist and span you round into him.

“And how do I get you to forgive me?” He brushed your hair out of your face.

“Actually I have a few ideas, if you wouldn’t mind me trying.” He didn’t give you time to respond before his lips had captured yours in a heated, lust filled kiss.

[f1goat]

fwb x lando norris - part nine

In which you decide to become friends with benefits with Lando Norris, that can't be a bad idea right?

playlist x masterlist

part one part two part three part four part five part six part seven part eight

Days have passed quickly. You have spend most of them together with Lando. Since your first date, if you can call it that, you have done multiple things with Lando in public. You had dinner together, went shopping together, had lunch with Kelly and Max and now you’re getting to the airport together. It’s time for another race week. 

Your social media has been blowing up lately. You’re getting mixed reactions from many formula one fans around the world. A lot of people seem to think that you and Lando are dating. Even you sometimes think that the two of you are doing things that are normally done by dating couples. You can’t blame the fans for thinking it. You’re getting more positive reactions then negative ones. You know it’s not the smartest idea to read the comments, but still.. You can’t help it. 

A few so called ‘gossip or juice channels’ have posted pictures from you and Lando from the last days. Asking fans about their opinion. You are scrolling through the different comments. Seeing comments from different people. 

Ln4x2023: isn’t she Georges ex? Some people do everything for a bit of fame

Norrisfan: the way he looks at her is so cute

f1_rumors: they look so happy together 

Comments are going on and on. There are more mean ones, calling you a gold digger, a friend hopper, a slut and even more disgusting things. But there are also a lot of sweet ones. People seem to love you and Lando together. For the first time, you don’t feel bad after reading this many comments. 

You and Lando are sitting in the backseat of the car together. A chauffeur is driving you two towards the airport. You are leaning against Lando, he’s playing with your hair in the mean time. It’s nice to sit this close together. 

Because of all the reactions on social media, you can’t seem to shake of the thoughts about you and Lando dating. A lot of people think that you two are dating. You want to date him. How did you end up in a situation like this? You should never became friends with benefits. 

Maybe you should tell Lando about your feelings for him. Maybe it’s time to do the right thing? Or maybe you should just back off and let Lando go. He can’t be interested in you as well, right? 

**

“I swear Lan, the last days he has been impossible,” you whine.

It’s Saturday evening. You and Lando are spending some time together in Lando his hotel room. Race weekend is passing by quickly. The last days have been awful for you. Your job has made it impossible to ignore George. Meaning he has all the time to tell you all about his nonsense. You even think about quitting earlier, maybe like tomorrow. You can’t work like this anymore.

“He keeps talking about us getting back together,” you tell Lando, “and he consistently tries to touch me.” 

“Touch you?” Lando asks. He notices that his voice has raised a bit. He feels himself getting mad. George is trying to touch you? He has multiple questions. How is George trying to touch you?

“Yeah, just simple contact but it’s annoying. He’s trying to grab my hand or to support my back while walking together, or he touches my hair or face when I’m shooting content,” you explain to Lando. 

Lando feels himself getting even more mad. It annoys him. Why does George think he can touch you like that? It worries him. Why is George still trying to get you back? 

**

That Sunday morning Lando has had it. He is annoyed. He is frustrated. He is mad. He can’t even focus on the thought that he’s suppose to race in a few hours. His qualifications went well, he can start from third place. But he can’t focus on those thoughts. He can only focus on you and George. He knows it’s your job to stay close to George on race weekends, but he’s incredibly annoyed by it. 

He keeps paying attention to you and George. He sees the way George keeps looking at you. He notices George his movements. You were more then right yesterday evening. George keeps trying to touch you. He notices that you move yourself away in weird positions to avoid the Mercedes driver. Lando notices the uncomfortable look on your face. 

At one point he’s so annoyed that he can’t stand the sight of it anymore. Lando knows he isn’t doing something smart right now. But he can’t stop himself from walking over to you and George. When he gets closer to the two of you he hears you talking to George. 

“George stop being annoying,” he hears you tell George, “and stop touching me all the fucking time. Don’t touch me.” 

Lando can’t even think straight. He sees George reaching out to you again. He hears the disturbing words coming from George his mouth. 

“I know you like it,” George says, “and maybe I like it more when you act like this.”

Lando can’t stop himself. All of him is focused on one thing. Getting George away from you. He gets a bit more close to you and George. He softly grabs your shoulders, showing you that he’s here. He moves himself in between you and George. Standing towards you with his back. All of his attention is on George. Who’s already talking shit. 

“Ah there’s lover boy once again,” George says. “Did you already figure it out? That she doesn’t want you?” 

Lando almost sees red at this point. 

“She still wants me you know,” George continues, “She’s never going to want you.”

Maybe he is this angry because he knows a part of George his words are true. You probably don’t want him. He knows for sure that you also don’t want George, but what are the chances that you want him? They are probably really low. 

“Don’t listen to him Lando, let’s go,” you tell Lando. It’s almost as if he doesn’t hear you. All of his attention is focused on George. 

“You know it’s true.. You can try all you want, but she would never want you,” George goes on. 

Lando doesn’t think anymore. The feeling of anger waves over him. He just acts. He gets ready to do something he has want to do for a while now. He moves his arm a bit backwards. Getting ready to punch George. 

“Lan, don’t,” you quickly say, you grab Lando his arm. 

“Y/N let go, I’m giving him exactly what he deserves for acting like this to you,” Lando mutters angry. 

You don’t let go of Lando his arm. Your grip firms. You won’t let him do something that George wants. You turn around, getting yourself to face Lando. Lando looks annoyed at you. His gaze keeps telling you that he wants you to let go of him, that he wants to fight George. 

“How romantic,” George says, “she doesn’t want you to punch me. See, she still cares.”

Maybe he’s going to do something stupid. Maybe he will give you a reason to get really mad at him. It’s probably dumb what he’s going to do, but he can’t seem to stop himself. Lando wants, no needs, to show George how it’s actually going. He will show him who’s the one that can touch you. 

Lando stops thinking about it. He grabs you and pulls you closer to himself. When you’re standing in front of him, he notices your surprised look. 

“What’s one more rule?” He asks you with a small smile. Hoping you will get it. 

He presses his lips against yours. 

You don’t know what’s happening. How did a simple workday end up with Lando his lips pressed against your own in front of George? You can’t help yourself. You can’t deny yourself kissing him back. He wraps his arms around your body, deepening the kiss. You let it happen. You would be stupid to deny him. But you know all about the impact this stupid move will have.

It’s a short kiss, but it’s more then enough to show George how things are going. George pulls your arm. Getting you away from Lando. 

“Do you actually think he will make you happy?” He asks you angry. You simply nod. George doesn’t know about anything that’s happening between you and Lando. You are not going to spill any details. Lando just did enough by kissing you in front of George. 

“You’re so fucking stupid,” George says, “You could have had it all and you’re choosing for someone like him. Idiot. You could have had a champion, but you’re choosing for the McLaren driver who will never make it. Way to go Y/N.” 

“Could have had a manipulative asshole who thinks of himself as the best, but she chose for someone who thinks of her as the best. Seems like a great decision,” Lando interrupts George, “Come on babe, let’s go.”

You don’t know what to do. What the fuck has just happened? You decide to follow Lando. It’s the better option after all. You don’t want to be close to George right now. Lando takes you with him to the McLaren garage, dragging you into his dressing room with him. 

“What was that Lando?” You ask, “We have rules you know.. Like not telling George.” 

“Yeah just like we don’t do stuff in public, hold our distance on race weekends and are not getting feelings involved,” Lando huffs annoyed, “The only rule that we’re following is that we’re exclusive.” 

“What are you saying?” You ask.

“I’m saying that we never did something with those rules,” Lando explains a bit less annoyed then before, “and George deserved it. I’m glad I broke that rule.”

Lando doesn’t get it. Of course he doesn’t, you think tiredly. He just put you in to one of the most awkward situations ever. You understand him and his actions, but you’re afraid that he doesn’t understand the way it feels for you. It feels like your some weird price in the drama between the two boys. You don’t even know why Lando is fighting with George this much. You know for sure something else happened between the boys. But what? You don’t understand why he wants to show George that he’s good enough for you. It’s weird. 

“What about me Lando?” You ask. 

Lando looks at you. You can see from his face that he doesn’t understand your question. 

“Do you even know how this feels for me? I feel like I am some sort of stupid prize in a fight between you and George,” you tell him, “and I don’t even know about why you’re fighting. I know George is talking about me, but it isn’t logical for you to act like this. We’re not dating, we’re not in a relationship. Why are you accepting this much trouble for our situation? It can’t be all about me.” 

You should know, Lando thinks. All of this is about you. Everything is about you, even before the situation between you two started, it has always been about you. But he doesn’t tell you that, he waits for you to continue.

You take a deep breath before continuing. “And because of this everyone will probably hate me once again. Do you even realize what you did?”

Lando his expression changes. You notice it directly. He seems to realize the words you’re saying. Finally. 

“I think we both need to think about this situation,” you tell Lando, “because I don’t know if it’s smart to continue it. Not like this for sure.”

Your last words cause a small tear that quickly rolls down over your cheek. You feel the wet trace from it. You don’t want to end your thing with Lando, but this is as much proof that you’re gonna get that it’s not smart what you’re doing. You know that Lando probably meant this in a nice way, that he wanted to protect you. But still, why kiss you in front of George? Maybe you let your feelings get the best of you. Maybe you were just a object for both boys to use in their fight. 

You wait for a reaction from Lando. You can see that he’s lost in his own thoughts. 

“Maybe you’re right,” Lando sighs after a while, “maybe it’s better to stop.” 

Another tear rolls down your cheek. Quickly followed up by another. And another. You try to hold them it, but it’s no use. You wipe away a few tears. Why is this so hard? You don’t dare to look at Lando. You don’t want him to notice your tears. 

Lando doesn’t need you to look at him to notice your reaction. He lets out a soft sigh. This is his fault. All of this is his fault. He should have never started this whole friends with benefits thing. He knew all this time that it would blow up in his face because of his feelings for you. He messed up. He doubts about his options. Maybe it would be better to let you leave and ignore you for a while. It would be better for you, you should forget about him. He wants nothing more than to pull you close to himself and comfort you. But he doesn’t know if you want that. 

He knows one thing. He doesn’t want this to stop. He will do whatever it takes to make his contact with you continue. 

You take one small look at Lando. It’s enough to see that he’s struggling as well. Maybe you both don’t want this to end? 

“Lan?” You ask softly. Lando looks up at you, waiting for you to continue your question. “Do you want to stop?” You ask. 

“Of course not,” Lando answers quickly. 

You let out a soft relieved sigh. Of course, this makes it only harder. But it’s nice to know that Lando also wants to continue this weird thing with you. There is a knock on the door, a female voice is telling Lando that he has five more minutes before he needs to get in to the car. You almost forgot that Lando still needs to race. Fuck. Why did you start a conversation like this before the race? You probably got him out of his concentration. 

“I just realized this isn’t the best timing for a conversation like this,” you tell Lando a bit guilty, “I’m sorry. Should have thought about your race earlier.”

“It doesn’t matter. You can’t do anything about that. But I do need to get going now,” Lando says. 

You stand up with him. Lando keeps looking at you. You don’t know what to say. This is one of the most awkward situations you have ever experienced. 

“Good luck with the race Lan,” you say after a bit. 

“Can you do one thing for me?” Lando asks. You realize that he’s untying his sweater from his hips. He hands you the sweater. You recognize it directly. It’s the same sweater as before. His surname big on the back, his number all over it. The papaya McLaren color. You grin and accept the sweater from him. You don’t even think about pulling it over your head, quickly putting it on. 

“And maybe a good luck kiss?” Lando suggests, “On the cheek of course.” He quickly follows, not wanting you to do anything you’re not comfortable with right now.

“That are two things,” you laugh. You move yourself closer to Lando. You doubt a few seconds about what you want to do. Eventually you place a small kiss on his lips. 

“Let’s talk further after the race, okay?” Lando suggests while opening the door. You nod. Together you walk out. You think about a couple things and decide to do one of them directly. You tell Lando another success and a goodbye, before returning to the Mercedes garage. 

**

Only ten minutes - and a harsh conversation with Toto - later you are free to go wherever you want. You decide to search for Kelly, if you were right she was also somewhere around the track today. You’re glad about your decision to leave Mercedes already. You don’t even know why you stayed there for so long. It’s time to move on with your life. 

It’s time to get a new exciting job, to leave George Russell and Mercedes behind you for good and to fix your situation ship with Lando. It’s time for honesty. When you talk with him again, it’s time to tell him the absolute truth. 

[bbbuckaroo]

Do you feeling the network, actors or crew members should speak up about the hate between the two ships?

More specifically like Ryan and Oliver? Since they are constantly posting about the Eddie ship. How Oliver only mention the buck/tommy relationship in interviews but never posts about them unlike how he posted Eddie content at least once a week.

The cast and crew are constantly tagged in things so at this point they kinda should have an idea about what is going on.

I personally don’t think they should have to speak up about it, maybe that’s an unpopular opinion but I honestly think they already do so much working their asses off to give us this show. I don’t think they have any obligation to diffuse this kind of drama because it’s just that - drama. I’m not saying what we’re saying isn’t important but at the end of the day, what matters most is them being able to do the job they love and do it well enough to keep it on the air.

I’ve mentioned it before but I don’t think Oliver is doing it to necessarily incite a fandom war. I think he knows how important and pivotal the Buddie FRIENDSHIP is but at the end of the day, he doesn’t want to alienate any fans regardless of their views. I think being on a show like this for so long and having said show be his/their main focus they want to make sure it continues to be the success it is.

Is this queer baiting? I’m personally not queer but I think it’s Oliver promoting a friendship that has been consistent and very accepted throughout the previous seasons. It’s been a successful plot point BUT any of his romantic relationships haven’t been. So he’s not going to be putting all of his effort into any relationship that may not last. I think we all anticipate it will BUT who knows if they’ve even written season eight so who the hell knows what will happen? So as much as he and Lou may want it to, it’s never guaranteed.

Now if we look at Tarlos and how much Ronen and Rafa have done PR for that, that has always been marketed as endgame. I mean when they (SPOILER ALERT) broke up we all knew they were getting back together. Breathe breathe breathe. I think Oliver and Lou could both promote their relationship that way if it lasts at least a season or two.

I definitely believe that at least some of the cast/crew know what’s going on here and other social media accounts. But it could honestly be career suicide to align themselves with one side or the other at this point. I think they are definitely influenced by it to the point of a comfort level promoting things. I may be talking out my ass but I definitely think the overwhelmingly positive comments on the award show reel had something to do with Lou reposting it. Obviously he’s going to promote himself but he had to see the comments and see the positivity vs. it getting taken over by those who shall not be named.

I’m sure the cast have their own opinions and desires and, call me crazy, I think we can mostly tell what they are or have some idea. They can hint and nudge but they really can’t say one way or the other or condemn one side. It sucks but it’s show business and it’s their livelihood which I think is overlooked sometimes. Ryan and Oliver honestly do have the right idea keeping their posts neutral and unbiased. Their friendship is awesome, a true show of healthy male companionship where they can be themselves and not hide their emotions.

Hit you know, god forbid that be a thing without it being a romance. The world needs to see more healthy male friendships and automatically making it romantic (and very sexual) does a disservice to it. But you didn’t hear me from me.

I’m a few margaritas deep, I need to behave myself. Thank you for the ask, I feel like all I do is ramble so I apologize. In closing, I don’t think they owe anyone a statement/choosing a side. We forget this is their JOB and their livelihood. And if we want to keep seeing their beautiful faces online, we need to understand that even though they may feel one way and essentially hint to the point of almost saying it, they have to stay neutral to keep the show going. Most we can do is support them and tell them what we love (not what we hate).

Thank you for the ask, sorry for the book. I think I need to start using bullet points. Y’all are awesome though, I love this discussion. It’s been so positive (thus far). And if it’s not you’re not gonna see it because that shit ain’t worth my time or anyone else’s. Rock on BuckTommy nation.

✌🏻❤️👨🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻

[choicesficwriterscreations]

CFWC Writer of the Month - Aug 2023: ao719

Each month CFWC highlights one of our talented fanfic writers, and this month’s writer of the month is @ao719. We hope you will enjoy learning more about them and their work below! The writer is selected at random. More info can be found on the navigation page.

Quick Links:

Tumblr Blog: ao719 Blog Masterlist

How do you want to be known on Tumblr? Anitah

1- When did you start playing Choices? What was the first book you played? 

I first started playing in June 2018. The Royal Romance was the first book I played, and I got hooked from the end of the first chapter. At the time, they were midway through releasing TRR book 3, so I binged books 1 & 2 and finally caught up on the day of the wedding, where the chapter ended with the attack at the boutique. Then I didn’t know what to do with myself because it was the first time I had to wait a week to find out what was going to happen.

2- When and why did you join Choices fandom?

Finding Tumblr was a complete accident. I was googling something really dumb about Liam and TRR and happened to stumble across a link for a fic on Tumblr. At the time, I didn’t know what Tumblr was; I’d heard of it but had no idea what it consisted of. The fic I came across was around 40+ chapters, and I was in my glory reading this angsty story about Liam, but it wasn’t finished, so when I reached the last updated chapter, I was like, “I need more.” So I opened Tumblr and searched for more Liam fics and found a trove. I lurked for another month or so before finally making my account in September 2018.

3- How did you pick your blog name? 

I wish I had some good story for it, but it’s the most basic thing, lol. It’s just my initials and a significant date. I think if I came into the fandom with the intention of actually doing something with the blog, I would have tried to come up with something a little more clever and creative, but I had zero intention of doing anything but reading. I thought about changing it a few years ago, but when I learned that I’d have to relink everything in my masterlist, it didn’t seem worth the hassle.

4- Pull up the first post in your archive, and tell us about it!  

It’s from the day TRR 3 ended and it’s about how I was sad that it was over but was glad that I had all these stories to read.

5- How long have you been writing fanfiction?

I’d never written anything until I joined the fandom, so I’ve only been writing for almost five years now. The thought of writing didn’t even cross my mind when I joined the fandom, but within a couple of weeks of making my blog, I had a random idea pop up in my head, and for some reason, I decided to write it down. A few days later, after talking myself out of posting and then talking myself back into it, I bit the bullet. For me to post a story that I wrote was entirely out of my comfort zone. I’m pretty shy and tend to be more of a wallflower, so I don’t usually put myself out there, especially like that, and I’ve never been someone who does something where I intentionally set myself up, knowing there is a very good chance that I will fail. And social media on any platform can be a pretty intimidating and terrifying place when you open yourself up, especially to strangers, even by way of posting a measly little fanfic. So to say I was terrified of posting that first fic is an understatement, but I’m so glad that I did.

6- What is your favorite Choices book, and what is your favorite Choices book to write about?

The Royal Romance will always be my favorite. It was the first book I ever played and was the only one I played for well over a year (I just kept replaying over and over and over until @cocomaxley convinced me to give MotY a try, which I fell in love with). It’s my comfort book. And like every book, it definitely has its flaws, but I love it and the characters so much. And TRR is my favorite book to write about. Liam will always be my number one guy.

7- Share the first fanfic you wrote with us. Do you still like it, or would you change it if you were writing it today?

The first fic that I wrote was I Dare You. It’s not an all-time favorite of mine, but I like it well enough that I wouldn’t change anything about it.

8- What is your favorite fic that you’ve written?

This is tough because I have a few that I love for different reasons, but I think Always You will always be the most special to me because it was the first series I wrote that I can truly say I poured my whole heart into. I love that story, and I love the history between Liam and the OC, their bond, and their relationship. 

9- Do you have a fic that you didn’t expect to be well received, but it was? What about one you expected to be but found could use a little more love?

When I decided to start Hopeless Hearts, I didn’t think it would be received any differently from most things I’d written before. It was an idea I’d kept on the back burner for over 2 years prior to writing it because I didn’t think it was anything spectacular or out of the box. It turned out to be my most well-received series, and it became one of my personal favorites as well.

I don’t think anything I’ve written has left me feeling as though I wished it had gotten more. I’m still surprised to this day that anyone wants to read anything I’ve written at all, so any love that my fics get is beyond appreciated.

10- If you could write only angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why? 

Angst (but with a HEA). I love putting my characters through the wringer before giving them that happily ever after they deserve. Whether I’m reading or writing, there’s something about feeling the pain and longing they’re going through that gets me emotionally invested. I think that’s why I love the second chance romance trope so much, too. It’s a really versatile trope, but there’s a lot of room for angst in those kinds of stories because of that established history between the characters and a past that tore them apart the first time around.

11- Do you ever recognize yourself in any of your MCs or in your writing?

I think I sprinkle a little bit of myself into all of my MCs/OCs. It’s usually something small like a favorite food, a hobby, certain mannerisms, etc. I think the one that I’ve added more of myself into than any other and can relate to the most personality wise would definitely be Charlotte.

12- What element of writing do you struggle with most?

I struggle with all of it here and there, and I’m constantly questioning whether something makes sense, if it’s flowing together, if it’s too descriptive or not descriptive enough, etc. I think the one area I most consistently struggle with is deciding where and how to end because I always want to leave my chapters with a cliffhanger or if I’m finishing something for good, I want to give it the ending it deserves. 

13- Do you have any neglected work you really want to finish?

I have quite a few that are unfinished that I know I more than likely won’t ever pick back up, mostly because I just lost my mojo for them, but there are definitely some that I want to finish. I’d really like to get back to Past Meet Present one day. I don’t even remember why I got off track with writing it, and it’s been at least two years or more since I last updated it 🫣 so I’m not sure if anyone would even still be interested at this point, but I’d really like to finish that along with Breaking Point and Us Again.

14- If someone you know in real life (who isn’t involved in fandoms) asked to read your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you recommend they read first? 

No. Maybe. I don’t know, lol. I try to be a “never say never” kind of person, but writing is something that I’ve done for almost five years that literally no one in my real life knows about. Not my friends, not my family, not a single soul. It’s like my dirty little secret. And it’s a little tough because it does get lonely sometimes when you have something that you love doing so much but you just feel like you can’t share or aren’t ready to share that part of yourself with even those closest to you. I’m a pretty self-conscious person, and posting on here where I can hide behind a screen is hard enough; I get nervous and have a good spike of anxiety every time I post something, no matter what it is. I don’t know if I could handle someone who knows me personally even knowing that I write, let alone actually reading something I’ve written. I’ve got the bubble gut just thinking about it 🥴

15 - Are there any writers (published authors and/or fanfic writers) who influenced your writing? 

I’ve been lucky enough to talk to and befriend some amazing and talented people in the time I’ve been here who I’ve certainly looked up to when it comes to their writing talents. And there are also those writers who I got to know after I’d been writing for a while that not only continued to inspire me with their amazing stories and talent but who also became a huge support and really close friends. They were and/or are always willing to brainstorm, look over snippets, help in those moments when I’ve been extra critical of myself and feeling very unsure, and/or have just been the absolute best cheerleaders and constantly supportive and encouraging to not only me but others as well. I don’t want to make a list because I always end up forgetting someone and I don’t want to leave anyone out, but anyone that fits that bill above, you know how much I love and appreciate each one of you.

16- Which one of your stories would you most like to see as a movie/series? 

I’d say either Always You or Hopeless Hearts for a movie. Series I think Full Disclosure with some Charlotte shenanigans would be pretty fun 😂

17- Do you write original fiction? 

I haven’t. I’ve been asked a few times about whether I’ve thought about turning a couple of my series into original stories, but I just don’t think I’ll have the confidence to ever do it 😬

18 -  What other hobbies do you have?

I do photography. I love calligraphy and making hand drawn quote signs on wood or canvas. I love to read — I’m currently in my fantasy girl era and have been obsessing over the ACOTAR series for months, lol. 

19 - What’s your favorite emoji? 

I use so many to express myself in conversations that I think it would be hard to pick just one. My most commonly used ones: 💀 😂 🥲 😬 😍 🥴 🥹

20: BONUS - tell us anything you’d like (if you want to).

I just want to thank CFWC for working so hard to help keep this fandom active and supporting everyone here. 

To anyone who’s taken any time to read my stories and interact with me in any way, I appreciate it more than I can say. 

This place has been such an escape for me over the past (almost) five years, one I’m still very much in need of. So, whether you’re a content creator, writer, artist, reader, whatever the case may be, whether we’ve interacted before or not, thank you for what you’ve done to help keep this fandom alive.

[vexwerewolf]

Hi! I'm working on a TTRPG by the name of Starburn: Asclepias (I'd be honored if you checked out my post about it, but no pressure, this isnt a self promo thing). What I was wondering is, once I finish the damn thing, what next? Should I go find a publisher, or just drop it on itchio? Should I run a kickstarter? How do I get people to hear about it??? I'm sending this ask to a couple people, so it may not be 100% your field, but I'd love to hear any thoughts/suggestions!

So the problem about giving advice is that the things that worked for me were quite specific to me. I had a very strong presence on Twitter and Tumblr prior to launching my Kickstarter, was well known in the Lancer community as the Lancer Ransom Note Meme Guy, and was well known in the furry fandom. I was well-connected and that meant that my Kickstarter got a lot of exposure and support.

My advice based on that would be:

Work out a succinct description by which your product can be easily explained: IGF is Borderlands But In Space With Mechs. Of course there's way more to it than that, but this makes it easy to explain to people. With that description, most people who hear it will understand right away whether or not it's for them.

Do NOT be generic. Establish a very distinct and specific brand for your product and take that shit as far as it will go. For me, IGF has consistently performed better the weirder I make it. It is, as I have described it, "a serious story told in a fundamentally unserious world" and the more goofy off-the-wall shit I add to it, the more people seem to enjoy it. In these times, the indie RPG scene is consistently churning out totally bizarre power fantasies like INFINITE REVOLUTION where you are a superhero with a nuclear turbine for a heart and you can love humanity so much you explode. That game knows precisely what it wants to be. Do NOT need to water down your creative vision for the sake of mass-market appeal because You Will Never Outsell D&D But You Also Don't Have To. Make the game you want to make. Make it as weird and specific and idiosyncratic as you want. I guarantee you someone out there is going to be into it and they will be more attracted to a game that is bizarre but unashamedly authentic than a compromise version of the idea that looks a bit like everything else.

Build an online presence.

Promote your game as part of a complete social media presence. It shouldn't be the only thing you talk about, but you should talk about it, consistently and frequently. Project confidence - assume that people will want to hear about your ideas. If you seem confident that your ideas are worth hearing, it's more likely that others will as well!

When drawing up a Kickstarter budget, work out how much everything that needs to be in the final release will cost, and then add about 20%, because Kickstarter is going to take about that much off of what you make.

Ideally, your Kickstarter should start on a Tuesday at between 12 noon - 5PM Eastern Standard Time, run for 30 days and neither its first or last 72 hours should overlap any major holidays. Promote it consistently and respectfully, especially during its first and last 24 hours, which are the times in which you will make the most money.

If you're going to distribute on itch.io, get your itch.io mass mailer authorization WAY in advance, WAY WAY WAY in advance, like at least a week to two weeks off your release date. It takes a while.

There are probably more things I could give advice on but I have COVID right now so I hope this suffices.

[fanhackers]

How To Be Gay, by David M. Halperin

While there are obvious fan studies classics, there are other books that don’t always fall into the “fan studies” canon that I have found incredibly useful for my own thinking.  I cited one of them, Carol Dyhouse’s  Heartthrobs: A History of Women and Desire (2017), a few posts ago; another is David Halperin’s How To Be Gay (2012)

How To Be Gay came out of a course Halperin taught at the University of Michigan, whose full title was “How to Be Gay: Male Homosexuality and Initiation.”  The initiation in question was not sexual, but cultural:  Halperin believes that there are not only gay texts, a gay canon of sorts, but also gay ways of reading that are taught and learned and that help constitute something we might call a gay subjectivity (that you don’t have to be gay actually to have):  e.g. Hollywood movies, opera, Broadway musicals, camp, diva worship, drag, muscle culture, style, fashion, interior design. Halperin asked both why this set of things–why musicals? why this diva or that–and what do they tell us about gay experience? Halperin was trying to trace “gay men’s characteristic relation to mainstream culture,” which often involves collaborative and camp appropriation: a queering.

I find this book very useful, both because fandom also has its own shared languages and rites of initiation (consider the idea of watching something with fannish goggles or slash goggles or a fanfic lens, as was recently discussed in a previous post; think about all the languages and tropes and artistic structures we all learn from each other) but also because Halperin talks about modes of identification that aren’t representational or based obviously in identity politics. So, for example, he says that the gay male students in his class were more likely to express themselves vis a vis a shared text like  The Golden Girls than vis a vis the traditions of what Halperin calls “good gay writing.” There is, Halperin argues, a queer pleasure in the Broadway musical that’s different than the pleasures of gay identity or even gay sex; similarly, queer female fans might find pleasures in identifying with, say, Sherlock, Crowley, or Blackbeard that are very different from the pleasures offered by a woman- or lesbian-centered text. 

Here’s an excerpt that gives a good sense of the book, I think: fans might identify with this or recognize it as descriptive of their own fannish feels.  (FWIW, the italics are all his!)

[H]omosexuality is not just a sexual orientation but a cultural orientation, a dedicated commitment to certain social or aesthetic values, an entire way of being.  That distinctively gay way of being, moreover, appears to be rooted in a particular queer way of feeling. And that queer way of feeling—that queer subjectivity—expresses itself through a peculiar, dissident way of relating to cultural objects (movies, songs, clothes, books, works of art) and cultural forms in general (art and architecture, opera and musical theater, pop and disco, style and fashion, emotion and language). As a cultural practice, male homosexuality involves a characteristic way of receiving, reinterpreting, and reusing mainstream culture, of decoding and recoding the heterosexual or heteronormative meanings already encoded in that culture, so that they come to function as vehicles of gay or queer meaning. It consists, as the critic John Clum says, in “a shared alternative reading of mainstream culture.” As a result, certain figures who are already prominent in the mass media become gay icons: they get taken up by gay men with a peculiar intensity that differs from their wider reception in the straight world. (That practice is so marked, and so widely acknowledged, that the National Portrait Gallery in London could organize an entire exhibition around the theme of Gay Icons in 2009.) And certain cultural forms, such as Broadway musicals or Hollywood melodramas, are similarly invested with a particular power and significance, attracting a disproportionate number of gay male fans. What this implies is that it is not enough for a man to be homosexual in order to be gay. Same-sex desire alone does not equal gayness. In order to be gay, a man has to learn to relate to the world around him in a distinctive way.  (p. 12 - 13)

–Francesca Coppa, Fanhackers volunteer

[writers-potion]

Writing Webnovels 101

There is one key difference between printed/ebooks and a webnovel: you need to adapt your writing for a highly distracted audience.

Unlike a traditional reading experience, people reading on the web have a gazillion other tabs, windows and notifications demanding their attention. So, here are some things to keep in mind when you’re writing for a digital platform.

Short, To-The-Point sentences

Keep your sentences short so that the reader doesn’t lose themselves in the middle.

Keep descriptions short and to the point while focusing on the action of the story.

Fast-paced

Each chapter must have significant action that contributes to plot progression.

Use well-placed cliffhangers that wouldn’t lose the reader in between chapters.

Trope-Led Story

The function of tropes is to provide a distracted reader with a ready-built framework to understand the story.

Using the right tropes is also important to attract your target audience since it tell up upfront about what kind of experience they’re going to have.

Emotion-Led Story

Deliver emotional highs and lows right off the bat, because big, intense emotion is what the readers are looking for.

Emotional information is easier to digest and retain than technical description.

Big emotions are easier to hook into and relate to.

Linear Storyline

Keep flashbacks, flashforwards, time skips to a minimum.

For a distracted reader, a straightforward timeline is a lot easier to understand and return to after a hiatus.

Focused Plot

Having multiple subplots weaving in and out of each other is probably not the best idea.

Keep delivering the emotional experience that the reader is looking for and provide only relevant information.

Technicals

Choosing the right platform

There are so many ways you can write online, from building your own website to writing short episodes on social media platforms.

You can use: novelfull.com, readlightnovel.me, Ltnovel.com, Wattpad, Webnovel, Wuxiaworld, etc.

Before you start posting on a platform, research into the kind of readers it has, what are the most popular genres, etc. Make sure you are pitching to the right audience.

Promoting Your Work

Many writers now promote themselves through newsletters, Instagram, YouTube, etc. but for someone just starting out, creating digital content on top of writing can be tough.

Join a webnovel community and get to know some of your fellow writers! The goal here is not to span other established works to links of your site. As time foes on, linking to one another and making recommendations would come naturally.

Set a Realistic Posting Schedule

Your posting schedule determines how often your readers get to interact with the story world and with one another. It’s how often life gets breathed into your story.

However, going for five days a week isn’t going to be sustainable, unless your story is already finished.

There is no magic number, so figure out a consistent, regular schedule that you can stick to. At least once a week is recommended.

If you like my blog, buy me a coffee! ☕

References:

https://creators.wattpad.com/writing-resources/write-your-story/what-is-a-webnovel-indepth-guide/

https://www.drewhayesnovels.com/blog/2014/1/25/shit-i-wish-id-known-before-starting-a-web-novel

[writingwithfolklore]

Since publishers care so much more now about authors having followers (and even self publish seems to need it), how do you recommend writers just starting to get some? I’m working on my first book, but feel really discouraged by how online-centric the field has become since I’m definitely more introverted and not big on social media.

Hey, I know exactly what you mean. I've never really considered myself a social media person--this blog is my first like public social media account and I really had no idea it would make it to where it is now.

Some authors believe that their work will speak for itself, that they don't need to play the social media game in order to get published or sell books. I don't really trust that--especially not when the other writers publishers are looking at are on social media. That's just free marketing, and who would turn down saving money?

So here's what I'll say about it: start small. Start with one writing blog that you think no one will ever really find. Or an instagram where you post quotes or screenshots of writing advice (credit them, though!).

Follow other accounts doing the same thing. There's some writing accounts on instagram I follow just to see how other people are doing it, @alex.wrtng and @coffeebeanwriting (on here and insta) are both good ones. There's a lot of ways to do it depending on the kind of stuff you want to post.

The good news is--if you're consistent and stick to it, the people will find you, and as long as you're not on a more video-centric social media, you don't really ever have to show your face or reveal who you are. Eventually you'll get a little bit more comfortable in it.

It kind of just takes one moment where you have to be so so brave, and then it gets easier after that. And hey, if you start something, send me a message and I'll be your first follower :)

Good luck!

[nanowrimo]

50k is Overrated: NaNoWriMo from a Disabled Author's Perspective

While it’s great to reach 50,000 words, it should not be a measure of success! Being a successful writer can be different for everyone, especially if you’re disabled. NaNo participant Quinn Clark talks about their experiences participating in NaNo as a disabled writer and writing tips to keep in mind.

NaNoWriMo is the gold standard for adrenaline fueled productivity. Oh, the allure of telling all your friends you wrote 50,000 words in a month! No wonder we all get so excited each year.

But what happens when you have a disability which conflicts with the caffeine-bingeing, late-night-sprint lifestyle so associated with NaNo?

Here’s the secret: NaNoWriMo isn’t really about the 50k. It’s about progress — whatever that looks like to you. The path to 50k is just the most well-known version of NaNoWriMo: it’s less a hard-and-fast rule, and more a landmark to guide your writing journey.

I’m an author, and I’ve participated in NaNoWriMo every year for twelve years. I also have a disability called Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD). CPTSD affects me in a variety of ways: dissociation, panic attacks, and a medley of unpredictable physical symptoms which make my day-to-day life difficult to navigate. As is true for countless disabled and/or neurodivergent writers, no matter how much I want to do everything at once, some days my functioning is reduced and I need time for rest, support, and recovery.

So, what does my NaNoWriMo success rate look like? Well, I’ve ‘won’ NaNoWriMo (hit the 50k words within November) seven times out of those twelve attempts, with a cumulative word count of 446,760 words.

“Oh, that’s terrible!” some of you may cry. “How have you lost so many times?”

“Man, I wish I could write that much,” others might lament. “How have you done NaNo every year for so long?”

I’ve had both of these responses from different writers before, and that fact reveals something important. Your writing process is a unique and personal thing, and it won’t always be compatible with other people’s standards. Here’s a question:

Does the 1k someone writes for one NaNoWriMo matter less than the 50k they wrote for another?

Of course not. Everyday, we wake up to our social media feeds glutted with success stories and the pervasive idea that burnout is the path to success. This notion is incompatible with disability and neurodiversity, and is therefore inaccessible. While this style of breakneck working is great for meeting your short-term goals, it is awful for consistent, meaningful progress — and even more so for your well-being. Forcing yourself to write when you’re fatigued, nauseous, exhausted, dissociated and/or depressed is a sure-fire way to associate writing with punishment, rather than joy and weirdness and creativity. Yes, many of us enjoy writing when we’re feeling bad as a form of escapism — but foregoing self-care in the name of hitting arbitrary word targets is unhealthy, and is not in the spirit of NaNoWriMo. No matter how many words you make yourself write, if you are suffering to get them down, your writing will suffer alongside you.

…So how do we win?

Don’t worry — it’s not all doom and gloom. You deserve to take care of yourself, whether you’re writing or not. Here are some tips for making NaNoWriMo a disability-friendly experience:

1. Listen to your body and brain now, not later.

Many of us are guilty of this (I’m looking at you, fellow neurodivergent writers!): pushing past the need to eat, or drink, or use the bathroom because you ‘need’ to hit today’s target. Perhaps you’re deep in hyperfocus, or are feeling guilty for taking yesterday off because you couldn’t get out of bed. That’s okay — don’t beat yourself up! Remember to treat accountability for your needs the same way you treat accountability for your writing. Listen to what your brain and body are trying to tell you: NaNoWriMo, or any similar project, is not more important than your well-being. Take that nap, grab that snack, and spend the day bundled in bed if you need to. A burnt-out writer will just start to hate the writing process. I promise you start responding to your own needs, your desire to write will gradually return. After all, writers find it impossible to stay away from the craft!

2. Commiserate with others.

There is great power in sharing your experiences. For years I kept quiet about my mental health struggles, thinking that if people knew about my condition, I wouldn’t be seen as a ‘real’ writer. But something magical happened the first time I spoke to a friend about my disability affecting my writing: they felt able to open up too. Being honest about your bad days in a way which is comfortable for you is a magnificent vulnerability. You humanise yourself in the eyes of others, and in turn are humbled by the strength of your fellow writers. Regardless of diagnosis, label or background, the human desire to be understood and validated is incredibly valuable. You may find that talking helps make your writing journey a good bit lighter.

3. Allow yourself to fail.

‘Failure’is an acidic word to writers — but it doesn’t need to be. You are not a failure because you didn’t reach a goal. You are not a failure because you changed plans. You are not a failure because you are sick, or tired, or working on a different schedule. All those NaNos I did where I didn’t hit the 50k are still so important: one sentence, one word, one idea is still better than nothing at all. You don’t need to plot every missed deadline or ‘unproductive’ work day against a graph of your own self-worth. Be proud of your achievements, and look to the next challenge — whatever that may be.

Good luck to you all on your writing journeys! And the next time you start down that self-flagellating hate-spiral for needing a couple hours off, remember: You can’t pour from an empty cup, and you can’t write as an empty writer.

Quinn Clark is an award-winning author, poet and researcher from the North East of England. A fan of unfiction, folklore and etymology, Quinn weaves narratives of trauma with fantastical characters to provide an insight into the misunderstood experiences of disability.Quinn has a children's colouring book commissioned by Ladybird Books due for publication next year, and is working on their ACE-funded debut novel: the science fiction-fantasy romp Out of Your Depth, following an exhausted scientist who gains the ability to transform into an octopus. You can learn more about their work on their website (https://quinnclark.co.uk), or over on their Twitter (@adashofseaglass). They also have an essay in Kat Brown's upcoming Unbound publication, 'No One Talks About This Stuff'. Photo by Keren Fedida on Unsplash

[mayajadewrites]

For Me (Levi Ackerman x Reader)

CHAPTER THREE: VIBE

The next day you find yourself with motivation to head to the gym. You bring yourself to your full length mirror and adjust your hair, slicking it back into a braid. Your outfit consists of an oversized t-shirt with leggings and sneakers. It's cold in Trost, so you grab your favorite jacket out of your closet.

At the gym, you spot Jean weightlifting with one of his friends. When he spots you, his face lights up. 

"Hey!" Jean sets the weights down. "I didn't know you came here." 

"The gym and I have a toxic relationship." You laugh, glancing at his friend. 

"Oh, this is Eren." Jean steps back and introduces you to Eren.

"Nice to meet you. It's not often I see a woman willing to have a conversation with Jean." Eren shook your hand.

"Eren, you're a dick." Jean shook his head. "I'll let you get back to your workout. I'll see you tonight for dinner. I'm gonna text you the details after my lift."

"Sounds good." You smile, pulling your headphones over your ears. You start on the treadmill, catching up on social media posts and losing yourself in your playlist. 

You watch your phone screen light up with a certain someone's name that you've had on your mind since you woke up. 

LEVI: You're not home?

YOU: How do you know where I live?

LEVI: Answer my question.

YOU: Fine, but then you have to answer mine. Deal?

LEVI: Deal.

YOU: No, I'm not home. I'm at the gym.

LEVI: I know where you live because Google is free.

You roll your eyes at the text, but you can't help but giggle at his response. There should be red flags popping up right about now, but you quite possibly could be colorblind.

YOU: I'll be home in about 45 minutes. I have to get ready for a date tonight.

LEVI: With that corny ass kid?

YOU: Ding, ding. We have a winner.

LEVI: Are you exclusive with him?

YOU: No. This is our first date. You ask a lot of questions.

LEVI: I'm taking you out to dinner on Friday night.

YOU: Aren't you supposed to ask me, not tell me?

LEVI: I don't accept the word 'no'.

You set your phone face down on the treadmill and continue your workout. You catch Jean stealing glances of you while he's weightlifting with Eren, which you find cute. He's tall, taller than Levi. He's sweet and seems to be attentive. Tonights date should be fun.

________________________

You stare at yourself in the mirror after you go through the outfit options your sister suggested for you. You open the camera app and take a picture of the final look, sending it to your sister. She 'loved' the photo, signaling that you're good to go. You're wearing an off the shoulder sweater with ripped jeans and ankle boots. Jean never told you what kind of outfit you should wear, so you went with casual.

You feel your phone buzz in your pocket.

LEVI: Don't let him in your apartment after your date.

YOU: Ok dad.

LEVI: Daddy is acceptable.

If you keep rolling your eyes so much, they might get stuck at the back of your head. 

JEAN: Here's the address! I'll be there in about 10 minutes.

You send a thumbs up emoji and grab your car keys. A quick Google search shows that the restaurant is of Mexican cuisine. The atmosphere looks fun and you love a good taco.

The ride to the restaurant was short, about 15 minutes. When you pull into the parking lot, you're not sure what car to look for since you have no idea what Jean drives. When you look at the door, you see him leaning against the railing. He's holding a bouquet of assorted flowers and has a wide smile on his face.

"Thank you." You say as you walk up to him, taking the bouquet from him. "This place looks good." 

"I love it here. I've gotten wasted in that booth right there." Jean pointed at the booth to your left, letting out a chuckle. "The food is really good though."

The date was low key but nice. You and Jean were able to get to know each other a bit more. What he does for work, which is a boring office job, his hobbies, what he likes to do in his free time, etc. It's very easy to talk to him. 

But, you get more of a friend vibe from him. One thing about you is that you don't like anyone easily. It takes a lot of mental connection before anything physical can occur. You felt a bit disappointed that you didn't feel that fire for Jean. 

Jean paid for the food and pressed his hand to your shoulder to lead you outside.

"Thank you for dinner." You turn to face Jean. "I had a great time."

"I did too! We should do it again sometime."

"I need to be upfront with you, ok?"

"That doesn't sound good." Jean looked down, rolling his thumbs together.

"I just feel more of a friend vibe with you. Which I'm not opposed to. I had a lot of fun with you, and you're hilarious."

"Are you seeing someone else?"

"What? No." You shook your head. "I wish I felt a romantic connection, but I don't."

"Thank you for being honest with me." Jean nodded, his mouth curving to a half smile. "I would love to be friends."

You smile and hug Jean. "Thank you for understanding." You kiss Jean's cheek before walking to your car. "Gym tomorrow?"

"I'll see you there." Jean waved.

_____________________

LEVI: How was your date?

YOU: Wasn't much of a date. I won't be seeing him like that again.

LEVI: Did he hurt you? 

YOU: What? No. I just don't feel that type of connection with him.

You weren't sure why you were telling Levi this, but he just feels like a person you can tell anything to and he will understand.

LEVI: Oh.

LEVI: Sweet dreams.

YOU: Sleep well.

You press your phone to your chest and close your eyes as you think of Levi's face. His chiseled jawline, his stone grey eyes, the way his raven hair covers part of his face but his eyes still pierce through you. 

You shouldn't feel these things for Levi. His attitude is abrasive, but you can't help but be intrigued by him. You think of his lips, the way they move when he speaks. His hands along with his long fingers. You think about how they would feel on your body. The thought of him touching you made your heart beat faster. Him touching you all over your body. Your face, your hands, your hips, your thighs... 

It's time for bed.

[cemeterything]

About the job thing, have you ever looked into becoming a social media manager? Imo, it's no different from being an office worker. Your ability to consistently get hundreds of thousands of notes on this website is legitimately impressive and a lot of small businesses or corporations would really want in on that.

it's not a bad idea, but personally my ability to use social media has never been something i've wanted to monetize because for me having my paycheck be dependent on how many likes/shares/views i get is a terrifying idea and basically the opposite of what i've been working for years to try to distance myself from so it doesn't wreck my mental health. as corny as it is, i genuinely feel happier and like what i share and how i interact with people online is more meaningful, both to me and to others, because it isn't tied to a financial reward or career development path. social media is a hobby for me, an escape, not a lifestyle, which is why tumblr is my only main social media (except discord maybe i guess). i post things because i want to, because i have ideas i want to share and know that at least some people will find them interesting or funny, not because i need to earn a quota of follows or clicks to justify my employment. i'm free to say what i want and to leave at any time. it's something i've thought about before, but i don't really want to change that. i'm happier like this. i really appreciate the advice though, genuinely ^_^