#me trying to type an essay to explain why I think characters who have caused immense suffering while also having suffered themselves-

[scalproie]

"Those characters deserve happiness" They deserve happiness about as much as they deserve suffering, which is Not At All, but I'm hoping they get happiness anyway

[ninjadudettekira]

Albedo isn't an evil Ben Tennyson, in this essay-

Fuck it the essay is being written cause I'm still seeing people claim he's an evil Ben Tennyson and I'm here to debunk that. (Aka Allie saw a tweet when she originally typed this out, they're entitled to their opinion but they're wrong lmao. No hate to said person tho.) So buckle the fuck up because this is long. Essay under the cut (If you’re on laptop, I think on mobile it doesn’t have 'keep reading’ thing.) 

Aight so: -Alien Force: 

What canon states is the fact that Albedo make his own knock off Omnitrix. And it was stated that Albedo didn't want Ben to have it because he was human and 'unworthy', so he made his own and got stuck with Ben's DNA. Azmuth himself even states that all Albedo wanted to do was restore himself to his original form.

Azmuth decided to keep Albedo in the form he was in because of rebellion and the fact he "put others in danger" and "wanted to use it in his own ways."

So here's the thing. In Good Copy, Bad Copy we only know about Albedo going after Forever Knights, which we've seen time and time again get their ass kicked by Ben. As far as we know that was the only thing Albedo was doing, he wasn't hurting anyone besides them. Once he came across the trio, he really only went after Ben.

Sure he foamed Gwen and Kevin to the wall to get them out of the battle, but he really only fought Ben and left the other two alone for the most part. Albedo knew who Ben was, if he was "evil" wouldn't he have gone after actual civilians using Ben's form? No all he was trying to do was fix his fuck up.

And what did Albedo get for it? Going to prison while trapped in human DNA. Yeah no shit he decided to work with Vilgax after that point, during The Final Battle and no shit he became bitter. (Altho Ben really couldn't do anything to help Albedo let's be real here. He was dealing with the Highbreed shit and needed to keep the Omnitrix.)

Albedo also, for whatever reason, was kinda against the idea of going after Ben's friends until Vilgax explained. Probably so the audience knew why that happened I guess idk. But he was more indifferent towards it all, and questioned why they were going after Gwen and Kevin. He probably did it because he thought it was gonna lead to him becoming a Galvan again. (And come on only tying Gwen and Kevin up? Y'all can do better than that.) He'd do whatever it took to get his Galvan body back, and since they were Ben's friends it was fine going after them.

-Ultimate Alien: 

AND AFTER BEN'S IDENTITY WAS REVEALED ALBEDO DIDN'T REALLY DO SHIT. So like Ben's entire villain gallery came to Bellwood to go after Ben's family, but all Albedo did was make Ben 10 Live. He even says so in Double or Nothing that he's been doing it since being stranded after Vilgax's ship blew up. And we can assume money went towards getting the parts for the machine to turn him back to Galvan. Tell me would an evil character be a fucking theater nerd???

EVEN WHEN HE WAS GALVAN DURING THAT EPISODE HE SAID HE WASN'T GOING AFTER BEN ANYMORE. He had what he wanted. He was confused that Ben still thought he was going to go after him after being Galvan again. All he wanted was to not be stuck as a human anymore, and when he had that he was going to leave and never see Ben again....until that was fucked up. Of course Albedo's gonna fight Ben after that point. He wasn't going to take it out on Hugh after that whole explanation on why Hugh lied to the trio. So Ben got the brunt of that. Did Ben deserve that? Probably not.

Hell even BEN HIMSELF was happy for a second there that Albedo was cured, and genuinely felt bad when Albedo revealed the motivations behind the machine. Yeah Ben seemed like he was about to murder Albedo at the end there with Ultimate Echo Echo but he was NOT doing okay during UA let's be real. (That's also another whole essay but that's also based on other people talking about how Ben got darker during UA. There was a justifiable reason that Ben went straight to thinking of murdering Kevin after his 3rd mutation and I kinda get it. But again that's another essay that I gotta find sources for since other people talked about it and I can't remember who did.)

Night of the Living Nightmare all we know was that Albedo wanted to stick the Dream Eater on Ben. Probably as a way to steal the Ultimatrix but all he had to do was knock Ben out for a bit and take it. It's easily removable, he of all people should know that. He also has Ben's voice so it really shouldn't have been that hard, but I guess Albedo wanted Ben to suffer like he did.

-Omniverse:

(Side note before I get into this, I was typing this on my phone and when I app switched to do research on an episode the fucking app reset and I lost all my Omniverse talk so gdi here we go with a retype of that section.)

Alright so we're gonna tackle Omniverse Albedo. I know I usually don't touch OV Al with a 10 foot pole and chalk it up to "Bellicus and Serena fucked up the universe when they reset it" but that's a cop out without explanation so we're explaining.

Aight so the first time in OV we see Albedo is a flashback episode (Trouble Helix) where he's working with Azmuth, and he's indirectly the cause of Malware getting more powerful. In the episode he's more indifferent towards Ben than anything, and very respectful towards Azmuth. He's more concerned if Ben could defeat Malware later on and asks Max if Ben's able to do so. When Malware is supposedly defeated, Albedo kinda sticks it in Ben's face when Ben gloats about defeating him. Nothing really too bad, or anything to indicate that he hated Ben. Hell he wasn't even against Ben wearing the Omnitrix at the point? Something had to have snap, but nothing tells us that.

Next time in OV we see Albedo, it's him changing places with Ben cause of Khyber in The Ultimate Heist (How did Albedo work with Khyber? Who the fuck knows, plot cause there's no explanation for it.) Albedo is able to pull off acting like Ben for a few days because he acts how Rook wants Ben to act so he's none the wiser. (Which that's a whole other essay about how people see Ben but other people tackled that.) Then when he was able to get what he wanted, he reveals that it's him. He gets the crystal he needed to stabilize the knock off watch and he can transform again. He's back to being able to become a Galvan, but Albedo ain't leaving after that.

He comes back a few episodes later in A Fistful of Brains and gets Ben to chase him through Undertown so Khyber can kidnap him. Albedo fights Ben later on with the Ultimate Galvan form and goes after Azmuth to get his brain. Ben remarks about why Albedo doesn't just go away because he can be a Galvan again, and Albedo explains it's cause of the imprisonment he faced (either by Azmuth/the Plumbers, or being trapped with human DNA, or both.) and the chili fries craving.

The episode continues into For a Few Brains More where it’s just them trying to get Azmuth’s brain back. At the end of that episode Azmuth traps Albedo as an 11 year old Ben Tennyson. Which btw was a dick move on Azmuth's part, sure Albedo snapped but there could've been other things he did. Azmuth probably remembers what Ben was like at that age, and wanted Albedo to suffer more than he did. (There's a trivia thing about the crew saying that Azmuth would make Albedo a toddler if he had to, which that's fucked. But that's besides the point. I can’t remember where I read it, but I swear I’m not making it up.)

After that we see him in the No Watch Ben episodes. (And Then There Were None/And Then There Was Ben) Vilgax and Eon got all the "bad" Bens together to go after the "good" ones, and Gwen 10. Albedo shouldn't have even been a part of that, he's not even a BAD Ben, just someone who looks like him with a watch that's not a hero. Everyone else was their own version of Ben, or in Gwen's case she had the Omnitrix. 11 Year Old Albedo 100% wasn't thinking clearly working with Vilgax since Vilgax already betrayed him before. *coughTheFinalBattlecough* 11 year olds can't make good decisions like that. But I'm just speculating on why Albedo worked with Vilgax again.

After the No Watch fiasco, he's working with Vilgax a THIRD time In Malgax Attacks after all the betrayals to release Malware's remains. (Which he should know is a bad idea from years prior but kid Albedo probably isn't thinking straight with all the human emotions he's dealing with at that age.) He thinks he killed Azmuth. (I actually haven't seen that episode when writing this so gonna go do that and come back.)  And like a month later I actually get around to seeing the episode. This episode was like near the end of Omniverse, so I guess they wanted one last Albedo episode but had no clue what to do with him so we got a 3rd partnership with Vilgax and an out of the blue motivation. So basically Albedo's motivation in this episode is to take Azmuth's place and see his 'secrets of the universe'. I- How would Albedo not have known Azmuth's secrets? Granted I think in the Albedo triology, he wanted to be above Azmuth so I don't think the plot came totally out of left field. They worked together on the Omnitrix, Albedo should've known about that stuff??? Also since when did he want to rule Galvan Prime??? What would that accomplish??? I was confused the whole episode about why Albedo was even there. I guess because he knew Galvan Prime’s defenses and could attack it with Vilgax. I never wanted to punt a fictional 11 year old character more. End of the episode he has a concrete guard on his right wrist and shackle on his left leg and was sentenced to clean Galvan Prime from the mess he caused for the next 30 Galvan solar cycles. And that's the end of Albedo in the franchise. He's back on Galvan Prime, but stuck doing community service. (I think people forget that this episode exists since every redemption fic after OV doesn't reference this episode and only references up to the No Watch Ben episodes.)

Okay slightly away from Albedo for a second, but was Malgax REALLY that powerful that Ben was defeated so easily??? Like Ben the Omnitrix can quick change, you can change aliens easily. Despite Skurd being cool, you have more powerful aliens you could've used and you barely tried. Idk I think I just forgot how powerful Malware was since I haven't seen Omniverse in awhile. I don't wanna start a new essay but what the f was that episode? Wasn't bad, and there's good moments but, definitely not on my rewatch list. (Also wasn't worth the amount of effort I had to do to download it since I plan to use it for Albedo edits cause I got ideas.) -Non Canon Things:

In Ben 10 Alien Force: Vilgax Attacks video game, there's this line that I gotta mention: "Is it my fault that I'm stuck looking like you?!... Oh wait it is." In Ben 10 Ultimate Alien: Cosmic Destruction video game all I know is that he was beat with a wrench at the end of the game. In Double Trouble, one of the CN comics from the Action Pack series, he pretends to be Ben and Sandra and Carl 100% believe him till Ben comes home. (Aka Albedo is a little shit.) Albedo gets trapped in a teleporter.

In Double Negative, a chapter book that was put out that took place during AF Season 3, but was non-canon. Guess who Albedo is working with? Fucking Vilgax. I read this book online a few months back, and guess what the plot is? Albedo pretending to be Ben with Julie realizing that something is wrong and getting Gwen and Kevin involved. I just wanna talk about this book for a second, Albedo ends up working with the group to get Ben back. Ben was sent to Incarcecon(? can't remember but he was in prison in Albedo's place I'm guessing? He started a riot and tried to get other prisoners out.) I remember this one joke Albedo made about "Looking like Tennyson" and I think it described him smirking in order to fool Vilgax and genuinely working with Gwen, Kevin, and Julie. They used Kevin's ID mask so Albedo could pretend to be Ben, which was neat ngl. His interactions with the group was actually fun, and omg I wish this was somehow canon. At the end it almost seems like Albedo was turning over a new leaf, but nope it was all a ploy to get Ben's Omnitrix, Azmuth teleports in and puts Albedo back in prison. But for a split second Ben thought Albedo went back to being Galvan, and seemed happy about it.

Summary:

UAF Albedo and Omniverse Albedo aren't the same. UAF Albedo just wanted his Galvan body back, but OV Albedo snapped and everything that happened was the result of that. Maybe he snapped after he got the Dream Eater stuck on him, and that pushed him over the edge but who knows. He just wanted everyone to pay, even after he had what he wanted. I wouldn't call him "evil" and I hate how the franchise kept treating him as if he was just an "Evil Ben" when Albedo has ALWAYS been his own person. He just wanted to fix his fuck up, but when he couldn't do that took it out on everyone because human emotions be a bitch on your psyche But maybe I just hyperfixate too much on a fictional character.

Btw: This is sorta Azmuth's fault that Albedo snapped. Ben could have done more, but he's a teenager who was dealing with a Highbreed war the time they met again. He probably wouldn't have gone against Azmuth at that point. Azmuth could've turned Albedo back to normal because even he knew Albedo only wanted the Omnitrix to go back to being a Galvan, but instead imprisoned him then turned him into an 11 year old.

And no this isn't a "Albedo did nothing wrong uwu" post. Albedo was 100% at fault for turning himself into Ben, I'm not denying that. As well as making the choices he did, when all he had to do was explain without the lies. We're also only hearing Azmuth's side of things, and of course since Azmuth is "good" we're expected to take his side. We never heard Albedo's side fully because the narrative didn't allow it. The narrative wanted Albedo to be "bad" so that's what we saw. The narrative didn't allow Albedo to fix his fuck up. Kinda sad really, especially how the franchise treated him at the end.

TL;DR: Albedo has never been an evil Ben, but snapped as time went on because everytime he tried to become Galvan again it was always screwed up. And when he finally became Galvan again, wanted to make everyone suffer for the things he was put through and I can’t really blame him.

[jessav24]

Why "Just Writing About Yourself" Isn't That Easy

Writing about yourself seems like an easy task. After all, you have been yourself for as long as you know. However, in terms of the college application essay, this can be one of the most challenging and confusing tasks a high school senior does. The paper allows college admissions officers to get to know their applicants personally, beyond academics and extracurriculars. Because of this assumption, many students write essays summarizing an event that happened to them or their interests. Although these reports may seem to respond to prompts on the common app, they don't necessarily provide what colleges are looking for. 

Warren's "The Rhetoric of College Application Essays: Removing Obstacles for Low Income and Minority Students" explains that the essay is argumentative rather than just a personal statement. It should be written to persuade your audience that you would fit their school well. This is one of the factors that makes it much more challenging to write. This is mainly due to how this type of essay, at least in my experience, is rarely practiced in school. In English class, written assignments are usually about summarizing a book or doing a research paper and never as personal as college essays are. Most students aren't used to writing solely about themselves in an academic setting. This process causes students to reflect on every characteristic about themselves to find something they think will make them appealing to colleges. While some students can immediately think of an event or trait that defines their entire character, others, like me, have been thinking about this essay for months and have yet to come up with an idea that feels good enough. 

Many students do not know what colleges seek in their personal statements. G.P.A. requirements or S.A.T. scores are just numbers; you take them as they are. This is not the case with individual traits. Characteristics such as motivation, ambition, and social skills are unquantifiable. There is no way to measure or assign a grade based on how charismatic or passionate someone is. But these traits are just as valued as a high G.P.A. and S.A.T. by colleges. "Getting In," an article by Malcolm Gladwell, describes elite Ivy League colleges as "luxury brands." They are looking for students who fit into their ideal image of what a graduate from their school looks and acts like, and different schools value different traits. Writing becomes difficult when you have to think argumentatively and try to present characteristics that you're not even sure a college is looking for while still keeping it deeply personal.

The more I became aware of what colleges were looking for, the more impossible it became for me to write my essay. While I was sure I had at least some of the traits colleges search for, I couldn't think of any time when I displayed them interestingly enough to write about. I started by writing a list of everything interesting that happened in my life, hoping that I would write the idea and suddenly everything would click and I'd have my perfect essay. 

I thought that to write a good essay, I would need to have experienced something so exceptional that the admissions officer would have never read anything like it. However, reading Paul Rudnick's "College-Application Essay" made me realize that even if someone has an unbelievable story or an incredibly traumatic experience they went through, it does not guarantee their essay will be good. Having a unique experience certainly could make the essay writing process more manageable. Still, if the writer comes across arrogantly or writes with irrelevant details and over-explaining, it can ruin the entire work. Rudnik's essay is a satirical piece, but it still captures the thought process of many applicants. Everyone is looking for the thing that will make them stand out among "all the other kids with perfect S.A.T. scores and Arizona rock-climbing epiphanies, or siblings who'd died in their arms." 

The college application process can be terrifying when you first begin, mainly because you need clarification on everything. I didn't know what colleges were looking for, how to write the essay, or what topics would catch the reader's attention. When I began reading the articles I referenced, I felt my feelings of stress towards the paper grow. The task of writing my essay was incredibly daunting for me, and I would avoid doing any work towards it as I felt so unconfident about all my ideas. However, pushing off the essay for as long as possible would not get it written for me. I needed to start seeing the positives of the situation, and although the college essay was much different than expected, I'm now much more aware of what colleges look for. 

While my essay is not yet completed, I feel a sense of confidence and motivation that was not there before. With the information I have learned from these articles, I have the resources and knowledge needed to write an essay that not just impresses colleges but impresses me and makes me confident that I will be seen beyond my grades.

[i-cant-stop-fandoming-help]

Rei Mekaru (and why I love her)

So i responded to someone’s instagram story, which was a picture of SDRA2 Rei, saying “hear me out” and that’s where it started.

Spoilers for both games under the cut.

cw for me simping over rei, abandonment, and both games’ chapter 6 trials

Okay. Okay. Not only is rei hot as hell, BUT. She is also quite fun to hurt. You can take her childhood, and how she was abandoned, and write/draw her suffering. You can also make her beat herself up. In this essay, I will explain how rei mekaru is the hottest and saddest bitch around

-

Rei Mekaru has had some of the best character development i've seen in anything danganronpa related(Besides DRDT). She starts off as mean, with a somewhat holier-than-thou behavior, one could say. There's not really a reason for this that we know, at first. She is a teacher type, so surely she should be nicer? Now, we enter her backstory. On her character sheet, and in part of DRA chapter 6, we are informed about what seems to have caused such behavior; Abandonment. Rei Mekaru was 'abandoned' by her parents at a young age. Growing up to hate them, and even plotting a name change due to the aforementioned hatred. Seemingly keeping it out of spite. She grows up, going to schools and supposedly getting into college early (as, I believe, you need some sort of college degree to become a teacher/professor). From my understanding, she teaches away from her home country for a while, unaware that her parents have been searching for her for years.

Sooner or later, Rei receives a letter of acceptance from Hope's Peak, and moves back to her home country. She attends Hope's Peak with her 16 classmates, and remains distant. Calling them all "incompetents" frequently. Enter, the killing game. Rei's memories are wiped, and she doesn't remember her classmates. Another character sheet implies there was an attempted KG beforehand, but, because Yamato Kisaragi still had his memories, it had to be stopped and started again. She blocks herself off from everyone, barely even showing grief at the deaths of her classmates. Only when Satsuki Iranami reveals the reason for Haruhiko kobashikawa's death, and allows herself to die, does Rei begin to let go of the beliefs that built up in her childhood. She works with the others, even making a slight invention of her own so she can talk to them about things Monokuma might not like. When Mikako Kurokawa dies, on top of Rei, it seems Rei is shaking up. Talking in a somewhat slower manner.

“This girl……… has died.” The text has a few ellipsis in it, showing quite a long pause. This possibly leaves her more shaken than before, but she tries her best now to show it. Who knows what thoughts were in her head? Someone just died on her, after all. And then, Akane Taira is revealed as the mastermind('s assistant). That must hurt. Rei trusted Akane, including her in one the daily group talks. Perhaps Rei is good at hiding up her emotions, because I think a lot of people would break down and cry on the spot. The final trial, is where we first learn of her past. And where Rei first learns she wasn't abandoned. Her parents were in large amounts of debt, and had left a very young Rei in the care of her Aunt and Uncle. however, her Aunt and Uncle never showed up. Her parents just wanted her to have a good life, but her other family members could care less about her. She finds out that her parents spent years looking for her, and possibly she imagined them sobbing and calling out for her, or possibly she's trying to say this is false. Utsuro finally ends it off, stating that Rei's parents eventually went to Junko in hopes that she would tell them that Rei is alive. Supposedly dying sometime after. Rei wants to know more, but Utsuro refuses. And Rei falls into despair. I think, the new information is what made her personality change so much, in SDRA2.

Now, we move on to Chapter 6.5 of DRA. Of course, we only see her in the last few moments, but there's still a noticeable change. Emotionally, she shows sadness slightly more. Physically, she has her hair chopped off, and different glasses. When Ryutaro Maki asks about his sister, she looks aside. Sad, it seems. Now, it's small and unimportant to mention, but it's the first glimpse we see of her personality change. (from sdra2, that is)

Onto SDRA2. We first see Rei in the prologue, with her raising a gun to shoot Mikado. She still has this somewhat harsh personality, but wants to save others more. She is soon sent into a blaze of orange, and we are made to believe that she is dead. Until sometime in chapter 4, I believe. In chapter 4, i believe, we get a slight cameo. We can only tell it's her, from the outline. It seems she thinks that she is talking to Teruya Otori. (I am unable to find the scene lmao) "Akane Taira is alive." She says. It's here, we get to know that Rei is still alive. The next time we see her, is (i believe) the very end of chapter 5. In the same room to greet Yoruko Kabuya and Iroha Nijue when they awaken. It's unimportant, but it's how we know that the last sighting wasn't an AI or some shit like that. Chapter 6 comes, and boy oh boy do I love it.

She's shown to beat herself up constantly. When Teruya is mentioned in one conversation, she begins insulting herself and even calls herself pathetic. Rei believes that she should've just died. Let herself turn to ash. That way, Teruya would still be alive. When kokoro was revealed as Mikako's mother, she quiets down. Is it from flashbacks of the DRA chapter 6 trial? Or is she just shocked, and unaware of what to say? Her new personality is flaunted in SDRA2's chapter 6, I suppose. We still do get the cop-mocking ginger every now and again, though. She seems more forgiving, and like she has finally seen that people aren't just yins and yangs. Even accepting that Sora isn't quite Akane, and asking if she can refer to Sora as 'Sora' at the end of chapter 6. even promising to try and help Yoruko and Sora meet again. possibly because she doesn't want to see someone sad over someone they cared for again.

She quite possibly cared for Teruya deeply, and he could've been emotional support. or maybe, just a coworker, but the tragedy has made her more vulnerable to emotions. Either way, it's shown that she is less closed off about her emotions. And, possibly, has a harder time with sadness. Leaving her open for attacks on her mental state. Hence why she's a more complex character, but more fun to hurt. (hence why we should always make her go through 70 stages of grief) p.s. she's also hot as hell but you didn't hear that from me

[haleigh-sloth]

I usually don’t share my specific thoughts about bnha but I need to get this thought out there so sorry if this is weird but….

Personally I think the thing most people forget about Shigaraki is that before anything, before afo before killing people Shigaraki was “taught” (abused into thinking) that every time he did something his father viewed as ‘heroic’ he was/would be punished for it cause it would be hurting the ones around him (it would affect his family). Of course this is the worst thing to be taught when you are 5 years old .

But this continued until his family was dead and then he met afo. Afo basically convinced this 5 year old child who was not in a position to tell him (afo) he was wrong and still had the idea of good thing = bad things going to happen, that heroism is bad and that as long as you are mad at the person you’re killing it’s fine (obviously not true but when you are 5 I don’t really think you would actually understand that it was wrong)

And then this way of thinking continued basically for like 15 years..

In simpler terms, afo seemed to convince him that, good thing/good deed = bad things going to happen/ no real benefit and, bad thing/bad deed = bad thing going to happen however you got treated badly therefore it’s ok if you do bad things too

the thing everyone’s needs to understand in my opinion is that people who talk about why villains think this/ that or people who just like the villains of the show, are not justifying that fact that they killed people but merely just explaining their thoughts/opinion of the matter and trying to get you to understand that when you are abused or/and manipulated it changes the way you think (not everyone can dramatically change their life the second they are not next to their abuser anymore)

((And in the end this show is. not. real! The villains did not kill a bunch of real innocent people, some people don’t seem to get that anymore and act as if that’s what happens…))

Sorry if there’s any mistakes in this, I kinda have trouble putting my thoughts into words that others understand heh. . . .

In response to this...

I mean, yes, I agree with everything here.

The reason I didn't dive into all of this is because, and I mean this in....some type of way...actually idk. There's no nice way to say this really.

Anybody who is just stuck on "They did bad things, they're evil because of this and they should die" is not worth arguing/debating/discussing things with for me personally.

I'm serious--I do not have the patience to explain the obvious to people who just don't care about these aspects of the villains. It's too tiring, and ultimately pointless because--they don't care.

If the conclusion someone has come to is "They killed people and they're bad and a sad backstory isn't an excuse and that's that", then I mean, I have nothing to say to counter.

Imo, everything you pointed out is very obvious, so anybody ignoring its importance is doing it intentionally and probably has no intention of changing their minds.

People write essays on tumblr about redeeming characters who do horrible things, why it's done in fiction, how it's done, how to tell when a character is set up for a redemption arc early on, but it doesn't matter. If someone doesn't want to accept a redemption arc in a character, there is nothing to be done.

I really do not mean to sound pretentious or anything....but honestly I don't have the energy or patience to explain old arguments that have been beaten into the ground and things that are just painfully obvious and shouldn't even have to be said (namely that none of these people are real and nobody has killed anybody--like I'm not gonna write an argumentative meta on that).

So yes I agree with everything you've said here, but I tend to intentionally leave these points out because if someone is still held up on the points you've made, I really don't have the patience to discuss with them.

[supercalime]

Hi! It's followyourbliss from Urstyle. I saw you hate Ethan too?? I cannot stand him. I once saw a fsnfic of him and reader. I have nothing wrong with fanfiction. I write it but Ethan Laundry??

Hey there! Glad I found another Ethan hater lol

I too have nothing against fanfiction, I don’t read or write smut but I don’t want to shame those who do. This is a whole ordeal I’ll try my best to explain here.

I recently rewatched the movie cause I got some backlash from my original post about him coming out of nowhere as ghostface, but it does make a lot of sense logistics wise, so it’s clear why both characters and audience suspected him. So yeah, I have to admit I was wrong in that department

But when it comes to the actual reveal and motivation, it’s really hard for me to believe that he was who he was. I caught on Quinn and Bailey being the killers the second she mentioned a dead brother, cause they wouldn’t just throw that in there without coming up later. So them being richie’s family looking for revenge is a great idea.

This problem with Ethan is the same I have with 2 and 3 too. How can you be validated guessing the killer if they never gave us any tiny little clue of actual motive? If the writers wanted Ethan there so much then have him being the rejected middle child from the get-go. Give us the information that he’s Quinn’s brother but they have their differences because of their archetypes of being “the slutty one” and, let’s be honest “floppy haired incel”

But that’s just my film nerdyness talking. My biggest problem with Ethan is related to my problem with fandom behavior in general. I hate that I predicted it. I think I’d be giving too much credit to the writers to think that maybe they knew exactly what they were doing by casting that actor for that role.

I don’t want to get too deep into it but we can see a pattern of what certain types of characters/actors get an overwhelming type of attention of fans, specially when it comes to people finding them interesting, attractive and borderline obsessive in terms of discerning fiction from reality.

Ethan is the perfect example of that. He looks exactly like all the other characters in other shows/movies that people (mostly straight girls) just “happen” to love and make x reader fan-fiction of when the protagonists get hated on or completely ignored.

This franchise has the core four. They are four people of color, three women, one of them queer. And ETHAN was the one they chose to go to love unconditionally? Or even excuse his behavior because they want to kiss him?

I mean, Chad is right there! He’s a subversion of the dumb jock, making him instantly more likable, he’s sweet, he’s good, selfless, charismatic. He has all the perfect attributes to be THE hot guy of this new trilogy. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that he didn’t get that attention in relation to Ethan or wes in the last movie. If he was played by a white man, I bet he would’ve gotten the horny fans to latch onto him.

Anyway I wrote an essay lol

I completely understand if you don’t read it all haha

But yeah, those are my two cents on the whole Ethan thing

[actualbird]

rosa | main character: a playlist with a character analysis rationale on why i chose each song

because i saw a post that was like "spotify should have a feature that allows you to add a full essay explaining why that song is in the playlist" and im not waiting for spotify to integrate that in, imma do it myself, HAHA

obligatory disclaimer that these r just my own thoughts and interpretations. spoilers for up to main story 6.2 and other stories here and there

wc: 1.7k (2k if u add all the lyrics i quote lmao)

here is the link to the playlist. now let me walk u through my choices.

-

part 1: the pre-story arc of oh, im nothing special

we dont get to see much of mc before the story's game officially Starts, but what we do get to see is through flashbacks in retrospect, and a lot of the time, mc does mention or express this sentiment of like

ah well. im not really anything special at all.

this sentiment comes in in a bunch of cards/stories with the boys (usually vyn or artem) when she sees their achievements and compares herself to them. but even sans the comparison, pre-story, i can see her under the assumption that shes completely run of the mill and nothing of note.

6/10 by dodie illustrates the "not very much" aspect of this

I feel like a six out of ten I've gotta get up early tomorrow again What goes on behind the words? Is there pity for the plain girl?

and Waiting in the Wings from Tangled Adventure is the reaction to this sentiment, in a sense. mc doesnt feel like shes much, but she does still believe in making a change, but god

when will her time come?

When you have the passion and the drive You expect your moment center stage to arrive I show up with heart a blazing Ready to achieve amazing things But I'm left waiting in the wings

this song in particular is fun, meta-narratively. it's the song of somebody wanting to the main character, and i think pre-story mc wishes for this moment, unaware that she indeed is the Main Character. like girl, sit tight, ur gonna be the protag.

pre-story mc doesnt think much of herself and is awaiting the moment she can have her chance. and when she does, thats when the story starts.

-

part 2: he butterflies and frustrations of falling in love

this portion of the playlist is wholly mc just going "aaAAAAA FEELINGS IM HAVING FEELINGS (?)" and the experience is a Lot.

it's novel and sweet and exciting (The Show by Lenka). but it also can make her feel off kilter, unsure, and helpless (Helpless by Rico Blanco). it's a nice experience, but it's also frustrating because she's constantly second guessing her own feelings and the feelings of the other (I Go Crazy by Orla Gartland) aaaaaand eventually once mc finally finally realizes her feelings, i just see it as character for her to be have this....not really impatience, but a certain restlessness on how exactly to get the show on the road, get the relationship moving forward (Make A Move by Lawrence)

-

part 3: Enneagram Type 1. "I believe that we can fix this over time."

swerve. from the cute delights and frustrations of love, i now wanna talk about what i interpret to be among mc's really important character beliefs: hope

and im also gonna assign her an enneagram type as well: Type 1

Type 1s are titled as The Reformer. this is somebody who is idealistic, believes in integrity, and desires the improvement of the world around them and their own self as well.

the song One by Sleeping At Last illustrates the gist of a Type 1 immensely well (while also making me cry)

Hold on for a minute 'Cause I believe that we can fix this over time That every imperfection is a lie Or at least an interruption Now hold on, let me finish No, I'm not saying perfect exists in this life But we'll only know for certain if we try

this is something apparent in the broad strokes choices of what mc does. in main story 5.3, the last trial, she thinks the line "Justice may not come as swiftly as we'd like, but evil shall never go unpunished. This is why I became an attorney. My conviction will not waver."

mc knows the world is flawed, she knows people do bad things and other people get hurt. perfection is not possible, but she is going to roll up her sleeves and work on it anyway.

this is what matters to her: trying to make things better

this isnt just in her career as a lawyer, it's also in her role as a character in the nxx boys' stories. for each and every one of them, being with her and experiencing events with her and building their relationship with her, all of that causes a shift in their beliefs/tendencies. on a narrative level, she is quite literally pushing the character development of the others

and on a "her as a person interacting with other people" level, she is a catalyst for change.

not just for them, but for her herself. as she pushes towards change, she grows and learns and the insecurity from pre-story slowly changes as well

another lyric in One is

The price of this so called perfection is everything I've spent my whole life searching desperately To find out that grace requires nothing of me

perfection isnt possible in real life and it isnt possible in herself as well. but thats alright. because who she is evidently enough to make things better and thats what she wants

however

this doesnt mean she is immune to doubt

-

part 4: what am i doing, who am i becoming, what can i do?

this portion of the playlist is part of mc's journey SPECIFICALLY in the aftermath of main story 6.2

once artem and mc are in the hospital, artem goes on his nice speech about justice which is great and did help mc feel a bit better. however, there mc's thought process still betrayed a newfound doubt.

in my main story 6.2 reaction post, i mention this but i'll summarize it: this is the first case thus far in global that doesnt end with a court trial. it's the first case where honestly, justice arguably wasnt served. desperation, cruelty, and anguish led to ava and jerry dead. the cruelty that ava had perpetuated ran so damn deep into so many people, spread to countless lives, and was just so bad that the only way it couldve ended was the cruelty collapsing in on itself. it's over.

but not over in the way mc sees as right or just. thus, she is now doubting certain beliefs and convictions she has, like her belief in justice and good and if that can make a difference

the sheer magnitude of this case...well, since we're not getting main story 7 for a bunch more months (hyv pls feel free to prove me wrong here lol, i'd happily accept THIS schedule deviation), i can only speculate that this doubt is something thatll weigh on her mind.

and with doubt, comes questions

Where Am I Now? from Lysistrata Jones is a great song that illustrates the doubt after a failure. all that effort gone to nothing, the first questions are going to be along the lines of where do we go from here?

Maybe just some more time, just a little more fight, Like they say, no guts, no glory. All and all I did fine or maybe I'm like a hundred miles off course, Well, maybe that was too much, maybe not enough. Maybe I should just turn back now. Cuz' how do I go on When everything's so wrong. Where am I now? How am I here? Which way do I turn When it's all so unclear? I'm standing alone With nothing but fear.

Flesh & Bone by Sammy Rae is a song that continues the questions that sprout from doubt. moving on from questioning the situation, mc now begins questioning herself, how shes changed

But I need to know I don’t need to be shown I've gotta see it for myself I've gotta learn it on my own I need to know if I am flesh & bone And am I still growing or full grown?

Green & Gold by Lianne La Havas is similar to the previous song but, since im a hopeful bastard at heart, the tone starts changing. still questioning but the answer is going to lie in the fact that mc is not going at all of this alone. shes got the rest of the nxx with her, supporting her and each other. this is the way out from doubt: looking through other people's eyes

Six years old Staring at my nose in the mirror Trying to get my toes in the mirror Thinking 'Who's that girl?' And 'Does the mirror world go on forever?' Carve me a road Sharpening the knives in the attic Trying to watch cartoons through the static Thinking where am I gonna be If I'm ever twenty three? I'm looking at a life unfold Dreaming of the green and gold Just like the ancient stone Every sun rise I know Those eyes you gave to me That let me see Where I come from

Last Hope by Paramore is the acceptance that things are going to be rocky, it's not always going to be clear cut, but damn it, if she's gotta believe in something anyway

It's just a spark but it's enough to keep me going And when it's dark out and no one's around it keeps glowing

and City Lights by December Avenue represents the convergence of the questions and the conviction to keep on going anyway. the pre-chorus includes the lyrics:

Where am I going now? I need a light to shine on me

while the chorus answers it

City lights they're all with me They fill me with serenity They're coming one by one Until I separate my mind into the light And I've got my chance to look

-

part 5: what love really means, how love can really help

if part 2 was about the surface level beginnings of love, this section is absolutely about the deeper benefits of love

Lost Stars from Begin Again is love still tinged with doubt, but an acceptance of that doubt. mc is never going to have a completely sure life, what with NXX stuff and also just the usual imperfections of how people work (gonna be true for all love interest routes, our boys are wonderfully flawed as hell, each w their own baggage and issues), but thats okay

because What You Mean To Me from Finding Neverland represents the uncertainty of love and how a leap of faith is what can get people through.

I won't lie I'm a little bit frightend Of my imagination Swear I'll try I'm feeling enlightened You're my inspiration We can fly if we want to I promise that faith will give you wings

and Look Up by Stars is a song that i put here not to represent a romantic love between mc and anybody

this song is a love towards herself

the chorus goes:

You're cold, maybe you just missed the sun You fall, feeling like its just begun So far, keeping it together's been enough Look up, rain is falling, looks like love

and the bridge goes:

(And still in toil, it takes heart to love the rose And still in toil, it takes heart to love the rose)

back when i was making the boys' playlists, i wanted to add this song in like. every single one of them JHAVKJHFAJKSFHA, cuz it fits all of them. they all have their moments of hopelessness or fear and they have to make the conscious choice to see better is out there, and a part of that better is our beloved rose-coded main character. back then, i took the bridge to be representing that it takes hard work (toil) and vulnerability (heart) to love her (rose)

but now i see it's a perfect song for mc herself. after all her doubts, every time shes fallen, every time it wasnt enough (toil), she gets back up. the heart she needs to love the rose, herself, is akin to her conviction in goodness. she has to believe in it (heart).

she has to believe in herself, the rose.

-

part 6: this story is going to be a good one, i will work to make make it a good one

all of these songs now are on the same general theme of Making Things Better, the joy of a brighter day ahead, and hope. but the one i do wanna focus on is Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield

aside from being an absolute banger and also being in line with this part's theme, it's also a song that fits mc meta-narratively

she is Literally the main character. as the catalyst for the story's beginning and the other characters' development, she is the driving force pushing the story forward. to loop this back to the beginning, mc had seen herself as nothing special or of note. yet there are many many things that does set her out as a good person, and one of which the keeps the story going is the fact that she does not give up.

so while she'll have her low points, she gets back on track cuz and Keeps Going because this is something she believes in. through this, the story continues and she's definitely got opinions on what kind of story she wants to be making. the rest is unwritten, and shes determined to make this a good story for the herself and the people she cares about

[apricotgojo]

hello love! Can I please request a somewhat spicy sub!chat noir x reader? Maybe where the reader is kinda feeling him up and leaving him hickeys and he’s a purring and moaning mess? Maybe he’s begging her to keep going and who is she to say no to such a sweet baby kitty? If that’s not too much of course😌 tysm

Hello bb ! I hope that this satisfied your sub! Chat needs hehe (i know it satisfied mine so) I really love how this came out and maybe i’m willing on continuing another part from here) Thank you so much for this request ! <3

Pairing: Chat Noir X Reader

Warnings: NSFW, characters are aged up in college here :), swearing.

Tags: Sub!chat, Dry humping, begging.

This is how it all went down. He saved you from an akumatized villain. He flirted. You flirted back. Then you guys started hooking up.

You didn’t understand why Chat Noir would do this with a civilian but like every other person on this planet, he has his needs. He would knock in a pattern on your window so you knew it was him and you would let him in, you’d talk for a bit, ask each other about your day until one of you breaks and pushes the other on the bed or against the wall. He was good in bed. Very good. You knew you’d never grow tired of this affair. To top it all off after you both finished you’d sit in bed and talk about all sorts of things. Aliens, Conspiracy theories about the media, gossip about people and sometimes he’d even play Mario Kart with you.

There were no strings attached. You both made it clear from day one. There couldn’t be. You both didn’t have the time for a relationship, you both didn’t have the energy for one so you simply stuck to the title ‘fuck buddies’ until one of you decides to back out. This night was different though. A smile didn’t appear on your face when you hear the familiar knock on your window because you were stuck cussing at your computer screen and rubbing your head in frustration. You had an essay to explain Shakespeare and his works but for some reason you kept deleting all that you’ve typed because you couldn’t put your thoughts into words.

He knocked again, quickly this time. “I know you’re there, beautiful.” His voice was muffled through the glass.

You huffed and put your laptop on the bed before stomping to the window. You opened it and were met by the hero grinning at you. You, on the other hand, didn’t have a pleased look on your face.

“I’m not in the mood Chat.” You state and were about to close the window again but he held it to stop you from closing it.

“Ma Belle, did I do something wrong?” He asks, a frown on his face.

You shake your head. “No, I just have this stupid essay that I’ve been trying to type out for the past four hours.” You sigh and make your way back to your bed, rubbing your temples.

He follows you inside and closes the window behind him.

“Maybe I can ease your stress for a little bit.” He says, a smirk on his face.

You simply shoot him a glare and he chuckles nervously, putting his hands up in defense.

“Okay. No sex. Got it.” He sits beside you and looks at what you’re typing.

“You know you can leave right? If you’re horny you can go to your other side bitches.” You say as you type away, your eyes glued onto your screen.

Chat purses his lips, like he held himself back from saying something and shook his head.

“Maybe I came here for some company.” He says.

You snort and chuckle. “Yeah right.” You say sarcastically and look at him, but he wasn’t smiling. You gulp and your smile fades away. Did he seriously come over because he feels lonely?

His face was leaning closer to your and you were leaning closer too. No. You had to finish this stupid essay.

“Stop distracting me kitty.” You whisper and kiss his nose quickly before looking back at the screen.

He groans and falls back on the bed, playing with the pillow.

“I can help you if you’re writing about Shakespear, I wro-“ He stops himself from talking and you turn around, quirking your eyebrow at him.

“You wrote an essay like this?” you questioned.

He visibly gulps and shakes his head.

“Do you go to college?” You question further.

He chuckles nervously. “You know I can’t tell you that mon ange.”

You stare at him for a moment before looking back at your screen. You decided not to pry further, he seemed uncomfortable talking about his personal life and you decided to respect his wishes.

Your phone started to ring and you see that it’s your friend from college Marinette. You pick it up.

“Hey Mari.” You say as you type.

“The deadline has been changed to next week!” She exclaims happily.

You were filled with rage.

“what?” You deadpanned.

“Yeah apparently some students asked to change it because they were having difficulties so he changed it to next week instead of tomorrow morning.”

“I literally asked him to extend the deadline three days ago and he refused. I swear to god I want to kill this son of a bitch” You groan and clutch your fist in anger.

She sighs, “I know girl, but hey at least you’ve got more time on your hands!”

Marinette always tried to be positive when she could and you appreciated that but honestly you needed to vent. “Yeah, thanks for letting me know Mari.”

“No problem! Bonne nuit.”

“Bonne nuit.” You sigh out before you end the call.

You groan out in frustration and shut your laptop.

“What happened?” Chat asks.

You get out of your bed and start to pace around.

“I have been working on this essay for the past four days, knowing very well how stupid it was that the deadline was only five days for a two thousand word essay on fucking Shakespeare and when I ask to extend the deadline, the son of a bitch replies with an angry email saying theres enough time and that im just lazy.” You finally breathe and chat was about to say something but you cut him off.

“But when his privileged French pupil ask him to extend the deadline of course he agrees and you know what, I think it was Adrien fucking Agreste who asked him because hes the fucking pretty model boy who has everybody on their knees for him just because of his high status.” You sit down and without realising you start talking about a different subject.

“Yeah, I get it, everybody wants to fuck the pretty blond guy with money, I would too but at least I don’t look like a thirsty bitch every time he talks to me, some girls in my damn college have literally no chill and I swear to god one day I want to make him my bitch, make him weak for me to show those bitches what i’m capable of.” You were breathing heavily at this point and your face was flushed red.

You always thought Adrien was attractive, everyone did but whenever he talked to you, you responded normally to him unlike other people who constantly laughed at everything he said to try and get in his pants. He was a good guy but he was too well known for his own good and it made you uninterested in him. You thought he was out of your league, that’s what those french bitches told you at least. They belittled you just because you’re foreign - you knew they were just jealous that Adrien was always the one to come up to talk to you unlike them.

That was enough ranting for now. You look at Chat who was staring at you wide eyed, his cheeks glowing red.

“You don’t need to say anything, it’s just-“ You look down at his body and notice something. “Chat..why are you hard?”

He crosses his legs over the other awkwardly to try and hide it. “W-What are you talking about?”

You stand up and walk over to him and he walks back until he’s pressed against the wall.

“What? You get hard thinking about me making someone weak?” You whisper to him and he looks away from you. “You want me to do the same to you kitty?” You kiss his ear and he shudders, nodding slowly. Your hand moves down from his chest to his belly and your lips move from his ear to his jaw. Chat tilts his head back and a frenzy of purrs emerge from his parted lips. He was aroused, in a state of euphoria even with your small, light touches. Your hand moved lower until it reached down to the tent he had in his suit. It was painfully tight for him. Your fingertips lightly brushed over the bulge and he cussed under his breath.

“Fuck.” He whispered while you continued to touch his clothed erection and lick up his neck. He kept purring and moaning at the same time. You loved seeing him worked up like this. Your lips latched on to a certain spot on his neck and you sucked on it harshly, nibbling at it when you got the chance and putting more pressure with your hand against him.

He was a mess, grinding against your hand and breathing heavily.

“Ma Belle – merde,” he couldn’t even speak without stuttering. “I want more, please.” He begs and you look up at him, noticing the red mark on his neck and feeling very pleased with yourself.

“More what, kitty?” You whisper and remove your hand from where it was.

He groans in frustration.

“More – I-I want you to touch me more.” He pleads. “Please.”

You smirk at him and pull him to your bed, pushing him back on the bed and getting on his lap. Before he could react you put your lips on his and start to grind on top of him.

He moans against your lips and throws his head back, holding onto your hips for support. You could tell that he wanted to take his clothes off but you wanted him to come right then and there.

Your hips move against his, the friction pleasing you the same, causing you to moan but grin at the worked up blond beneath you.

“Shit, shit I’m close.” He whimpers and closes his eyes, moving his own hips with yours to get more pleasure.

It felt so good but you knew you couldn’t finish with him, maybe you could continue after but your hopes disappeared when you heard the beeping coming from his ring.

“Mon Ange I-“

“Shut up and come for me kitty.” You groan out and quicken your movements causing him to part his lips and hold onto you.

His body shakes and he spews out cuss words in French while he comes undone, thrusting his hips up and whimpering.

You’re both breathing heavily, looking at each other both dazed and tired. You were about to lean in for another kiss but his ring starts beeping furiously.

You hop off of his lap and watch as he groans while he gets up, uncomfortably moving because of the mess he made between his legs.

“I’m sorry I cant finish you off.” He says, pouting at you.

“It’s okay Chat, I think you’ve done enough today.” You wink at him and he chuckles bashfully.

“Until next time Mon ange!” He says and opens the window.

“Bye Kitty.” You blow him a kiss and with that he’s off.

Maybe you could actually finish yourself off to the thought of him being a mess for you but before you could even do anything, your phone beeps and you see a notification from Adrien Agreste.

 “Did you hear that they moved the deadline for the Shakespeare essay? Pissed me off tbh.”

It was like he knew you accused him of something and to top it all off this was the first time he’s ever really texted you. It was weird but maybe you shouldn’t think much of it. Right?

[ruby-whistler]

There are three types of misinterpretation of c!Dream in my opinion; and by that I mean anyone's take ever, whether it's a c!Dream anti or a c!Dream apologist or a c!Dream enthusiast. That's right, I'm making an essay about how in my mind everyone is wrong. This is how I lead debates please don't unfollow me-

1. misunderstanding or overdramatizing evidence

c!Dream apologists; g-guys. I'm not saying he isn't traumatized, but look. I really used to believe he was just everyone's victim and hurt and mentally unstable, and I'm not saying he isn't at all, but I changed my mind because I feel like the evidence doesn't,, point that way at all. Your emotions are valid, but your takes are very removed from what the rest of the fandom thinks because you take little hints and try to make them into some big angsty point within canon.

The evidence we have proves he is more ruthless than anything; even the content creator says that. He doesn't say why he does progressively more ruthless things, and he does say it's for his ideals and out of good intentions, but he doesn't say anything about him being hurt into doing it.

I'm not saying he isn't hurt. But making analysis of an entire character based on something that is barely supported by canon isn't the way I roll and I feel like it's one of the reason why people assume all c!Dream apologist are going to woobify the character,, because some of them really do that.

I don't mind portraying him as hurt by what's happened in canon, because that is a completely safe conclusion, but jumping to the victim side of the scale seems a little bit like painting a completely different picture than what actual canon says. (Note: talking about pre-Pandora c!Dream here.)

There is tragedy in someone being driven by the environment, circumstances and themselves deeper and deeper into corruption, but it feels like by only considering that the entire character is limited to one side of the argument.

I like to also see the side of him that will hurt people because he thinks he has to, because he wants to succeed above all, the side that will ruthlessly murder and manipulate and be calculative and clever and even self-destructive about it because he believes that'll get him towards his ultimately selfless goal.

That's my morally complex bastard.

A lot of people seem to be mistaking or ignoring that for the sake of saying he is just... hurt and that that is an explanation of his actions, and even though they don't use it as an excuse, it feels a little cheap.

And here we come to the core of the problem: an emotional vs. rational explanation for the character's actions.

Because the thing is, with enough evidence, you will see that nearly (we'll get to that in a bit) everything he does can be explained rationally. Everything is connected, everything is the most logical and efficient and merciless route straight from point A to point B, because c!Dream is fascinatingly smart when you look deeper into it.

He knows what he's doing. He knows his actions are awful, and he doesn't care - not because he would be some evil person, but because his mindsets cause him to justify such things, and mindsets are more complicated than feelings.

There is a lot to explore in that direction of the character, but that is material for another essay.

In short, people seem to enjoy removing all of his agency in favor of explaining his actions emotionally rather than from a rational standpoint which results in inaccurate analysis.

Do I think it is completely understandable he attacked L'Manberg?

Absolutely.

Do I think c!Wilbur painted him as a villain to benefit his own power?

Yes.

Do I think he utilized the villain persona as an intimidation tactic and often went overkill with no regard for anything but accomplishing his goals and that he slowly became more and more willing to do bad things of his own accord because he became determined and distrusting of the world to the point of committing horrible actions?

100%.

Analysing that part of the character is the most interesting part, when you consider it - and an important one as well.

2. ignoring evidence

c!Dream antis; please. Stop saying he doesn't care or explaining his actions with obsession or assigning him personality traits or motives that he literally doesn't have in order to demonize him I beg of you.

It's so many basic and easily debunkable assumptions that can be explained with what we actually know of his motives. People will ignore both canon and the authors' words to paint him as some monster with no nuance, which he is not.

We only know so much about him, but people will ignore and deny even the little bit we have for the sake of making him the literal personification of evil and erasing the fact that he is a complex and human character. Just accept he can be accurately analysed beyond hate and let people do it if you don't want to do so yourself.

3. assuming the evidence we have is everything you need to determine a final approach and that nothing outside of the presented evidence exists when certain details prove otherwise

c!Dream enthusiasts; this was the only and biggest problem I've had since being introduced to much more rational interpretations of the character - which is emotions, and one of the biggest reasons why c!Dream gets dehumanized in the first place; the fact that we have little to no showcase or explanation of them in canon.

You see, c!Dream is a reserved character. He likes withholding his plans, withholding his feelings and information from the world.

However, since all we can really get out of watching his actions alone is the rational side (and that is deliberate by both the writer and the character, narratively and personality-wise) people slowly begin to assume there is no emotional side to his actions at all.

Which I find,, untrue. Between the people who erase the rational side of the character and those who erase the emotional side, there is little middle ground, but I don't really find either of them right either.

Because neither would be an accurate representation; just because he doesn't actively showcase his feelings doesn't mean he doesn't have them, and the few inconsistencies that are too small a detail for us to put everything together show that he does have an inner emotional world beyond what we see.

The character does work beyond what we know, and expecting that everything can be explained purely by rationality because that's all we see of him seems a little bit jumping the gun.

It leads to a less person-like view of a character who in reality simply doesn't like showing people the way he feels, and I don't really find that fair to him. It is best to accept there are things we can't say for sure, or to say an emotional interpretation can also be valid at times.

It is both important not to deny him agency and not to deny him the ability to be genuinely hurt by others or changed by his environment.

Both of these can coexist, especially in

the correct interpretation

Ok this is a joke.

I have literally no idea. I'm just throwing stuff at the wall and seeing what sticks - he confuses me beyond belief. The only person who knows about both the emotional and rational side of the character enough to have their interpretation unquestioned is cc!Dream - but when we do try to find answers, it is important for us as well that we do not ignore any aspects or possible aspects of the character, because that is the only way to get useful results out of our analysis.

Sorry this was crit of basically every take about the character I have ever seen but I needed to get my thoughts out.

[a-supernatural-writer]

hcs for poly! tlb with a fem! s/o who’s style is dark academia and is really blunt/logical and smart. she basically gives off a ‘mysterious, quiet, dark, critical’ vibe (she also doesn’t really know how to handle people who are extremely emotional and she doesn’t know how to soothe someone. she’s just really oblivious/clueless when it comes to others feelings). i’m so sorry if what i requested doesn’t make sense or if it was too much. i am seriously incapable of writing anything without making it look like an essay lmao. love your work btw 💕✨

Dark Academia Fem! S/O 

Poly Lost Boys x Fem reader

I had so much fun writing this! I love the dark academia aesthetic! And it made perfect sense and it wasn’t too much! Having a lot actually helps me expand and write more so thank you. And I’m the same, once I have an idea, I write a lot, so you’re all good! And awww!!! Thank you!!! 💗💗✨✨ I really appreciate it! I hope you enjoy!

Okay, so you are very different compared to the large number of characters on the boardwalk. Your style consisted of button shirts, sweaters or turtle necks, dress pants or a plaid pleated skirts, cardigans or waistcoats, oxford shoes or even wire framed glasses if you wore them for seeing or just for the look. 

To say that you caught the boys attention would be an understatement. You seemed to stand out amongst the crowd and they became curious. You were a mystery to them and they love the challenge. 

Somehow, someway, after days or weeks later, you became good friends which soon lead to you dating four trouble making punks. It was tough on both parts, but it happened, and hey, you weren’t complaining. 

You were very blunt when you first met them, not really interested in them and more or less interested in the book in your hands. It took a lot of “accidental” run ins to even get you to hang out with them. 

You slowly opened up when they offered to take you out for dinner at a local diner. They’re constant joking soon had you letting out small, almost whisper-like giggles and tiny smiles that sent them into a frenzy. 

When you would start talking about yourself, your ideas of fun were different from theirs. You liked museums, opera houses, bookstores and going to theaters to see plays. The games you played were chess and cards, and the music you listened to was old. You were pretty sure they thought you were boring but you actually peaked their interest. 

After a while of being friends with them, they asked you out. You liked them and the only logical step was to see if you liked them the same way they liked you was to date them, so you said yes. 

In general, them having a girlfriend with a 1940s/1950s dark prep look was fun. David and Dwayne like it the most. Paul next, then Marko. 

David actually really likes picking out your clothing on most days. You have an extensive collection of clothing with material from cashmere to linen, all the colors consisting of browns, black, cream and even a little dark green. 

His favorite thing to put you in is trench coats. Doesn’t matter what color it is, he just likes seeing you in them. Also, there are a handful of times that he has MADE you wear his trench coat. Yeah it almost swimmed on you, but he thought it made you look cute and it fit in perfectly with your look. 

Dark academia isn’t only your style, but it’s your way of life. David is the one that plays chess with you. You had to reteach it to him and pretty soon, the two of you had your own little set up in the cave that was always ready for a game of chess. 

David is sort of like you… in a way when it comes to others feelings. But deep down he knows that he really likes you and tries to show it the best he can. He took you to a theater to see a play that you were constantly talking about and so he took you on a date. You being you, didn’t realize that’s what it was until he told it straight to your face. Let’s just say you were speechless for the next hour. 

Also, when it’s just the two of you, deep inside the cave where your nest is, classical music is playing from your record player. It could be Beethoven, Tchaikovsky or Mozart. Whoever it is, David is the one that will listen to it with you the most. I think he really enjoys classical music and he enjoys it even more if the two of you are cuddling in your bed. 

Occasionally Dwayne would join the two of you. You would be sitting in between David’s legs as Dwayne sat in between yours, his head leaning back against your chest. It was like a cuddle pile… cuddle train?? Whatever you wanted to call it, it was cuddling while the three of you relaxed listening to classical music. And it was darn cute. 

Dwayne loves listening to you go on and on about any books you were reading at the moment. Whether or not it was nonfiction or even about any type of history. He was down. He lived through a lot and he knew about half of the stuff you gushed on about, but for some odd reason, it never bored him when you talked about it. 

He would be the one to get you new books, leaving you sweet little notes tied to them. Of course you thought it was just him being nice and thanked him for it without thinking there was any romantic meaning behind it. Yeah he was one of your boyfriends but it never really crossed your mind that way. He would just shake his head at your obliviousness and give you a small peck on the lips. 

Don’t ask him why, but his favorite look on you is a light cream colored blouse with a plaid skirt and Mary Jane shoes. Dwayne is a leg man so… he’s very happy when decide to show off some skin if you decide not to wear knee-socks or stockings with it. Even if you did wear them, he would still be attached to your side the entire night. 

Like David, Dwayne would bring you out to a lot of places that were opened late at night. If there was an art exhibition in town or even a museum that was open late, just say the word and he will happily drive you on his bike. Heck, David might even tag along. 

Also, late night bookstore dates… oh my heart, it’s too sweet it hurts. There are times that he does have to throw you over his shoulder when the bookstore is closing and you're pretty much refusing to leave. When he does that, you just stay frozen over his shoulder, not knowing if you should be blushing or cursing at him for carrying you like a sack of potatoes. 

If anything, you and Dwayne connect very well. You’re naturally very quiet and so is he. Not much is said between you two but there's a mutual understanding that can’t be explained. While the others are out causing trouble, you and him are on the sidelines watching hand in hand or your reading and he's just staring at you as you do so. 

Paul and Marko kind of give you whiplash. They’re loud and rowdy and definitely 100% opposite from you. But they interested you. They had a very chaotic outlook on life which made you ask many questions. 

Paul found your look sexy. He’s horny and you give off preppy school vibes, he’s living for it 24/7. Constant teasing of you giving him ‘private lessons’ which results with you whacking a book against the back of his head. But it doesn’t stop the reddening of your ears which doesn’t make him stop.  

This man is also your designated jewelry expert. You only wear some accessories and they're very simple. So you are very surprised when Paul finds you jewelry that is your style and collects it for you. You like leather watches, guess what, he’s got it for you. You want some fancy victorian looking brooches, he’s got that too. Simple rings with a single jewel in the middle, expect constant ‘will you marry me’ jokes, but he gets you the best.

Also, he’s not overly big into your music selection. He does try to get you into his type of music, which you only like very few and far between. But when you do get him to listen to your type of music, it’s only if you agree to listen to his music the next night. You guys come up with a system and decide to switch every few nights. 

Each of the boys have their favorite look on you and Paul's is when you wear a button-up of any color with a simple black tie, a pencil skirt and a pair of Dr.Marten boots. He especially likes the tie… for reasons. God damn it, you know the reasons, get out of here. 

He’s a very affectionate boy and he finds your looks over confusion some of the cutest shit he’s ever seen. Probably the first one to tell you that he loves you and you honestly like glitched out. Did you feel the same way? Yes, but poor little thing you doesn’t say it right away, but Paul knows that you aren’t really used to saying things like that without warming up to it. Which is okay. He knows even if you don’t say it. 

He definitely steals one of your blazers to put pins on it. Marko helps, putting a few patches on it that they both know you would like. It’s the one item that stands out in all of your clothing and you will wear it if they ask you to. 

Marko definitely thinks the look is cute and it suits you very well, but why no color?! You wear dark colors but nothing bright like the colors that are on his jacket. He tries to slip in some colorful clothing into your everyday look, it never goes as planned but you give him an A for effort. 

He loves how dark you can be at times though. You want to go to a local graveyard just because? Sure! Let’s go! He’s your designated graveyard buddy. You have many date nights there, looking at all the different gravestones and finding it interesting when you jot down some names in one of your notebooks. 

Speaking of notebooks, you have many of them. They were filled with notes from books you’ve read, real life observations or even just some random poetry and short stories that you wrote. Marko would go through them a lot and even sometimes draw little doodles or rough sketches that were thought up from your writings. 

When you spend nights down at the Boardwalk, your go to drink isn’t a slushie or a milkshake or even a soda. It’s coffee or tea. Yeah, and only Marko knows your drink orders by heart. None of the others seem to remember them correctly which you thank them for trying but Marko has got them all beat. 

Marko likes seeing you in sweaters and in your trousers or linen shorts with chelsea boots. If anything, when the two of you are alone, just wearing a knit sweater and shorts were perfect for him. He likes how cozy and warm you look. He’s very happy when he cuddles you and you are warm. 

Now when they tell you that they’re vampires, you think that they’re joking. Vampires aren’t real, they’re a work of fiction. Yes there was a real man named Dracula, but there was no way that they were actual vampires. 

Then they showed you hard proof and then there was no denying it at that point. Instead of running away, you were fascinated. You wanted to understand your boyfriends vampire ways that lead to you conducting extensive research and a notebook dedicated to them. 

They showed you everything about them, how they feed, to which you didn’t bat an eyelash of watching them feed one night. You were one morbid chick but they saw that as a plus that you didn’t react. You had graveyard dates for crying out loud, nothing really surprised them at that point.

Flying came next and they had a lot of fun showing you just how high they could go with you in their arms. You never screamed at the height, you were too caught up in seeing the overhead view of the town. You could get used to seeing a view like that every night.  

Then came the other things; how they slept before you came along, what actually hurt them and what didn’t. There was one time that you stared at their vampire faces for hours because you were taking notes on how their facial features changed. 

Soon you had to stock up on more turtlenecks because of the many bite marks they would leave behind from feeding on you if the weather was bad one night. It wasn’t tough adapting to their occasional feeding. A lot of your clothing already covered up your skin so it was easy to hide from people on your nights out. 

Not too long after, they popped the question. Would you want to be a vampire? Live forever, never grow up? Be with them for all eternity? You didn’t really need to think about it for too long, you knew what your answer was and so did they even if you didn’t say it out loud. You loved your boys and not much would change.

When you did change, it was entertaining for them to watch. You soon started taking down notes about your progress, comparing and contrasting your experience to their own. 

To the eyes of many, you became even more dark and mysterious. You had an aura around you that drew people in, it’s what got you your four vampire boyfriends, only now, it brought in your meal for the night.

[the-seas-song]

Richard Armitage and Astrology

Hi! I find astrology fascinating, and am an armchair expert on it myself, so I found Richard's comments in his recent Total Film Magazine interview very interesting. This is what he said:

I’ve been incredibly lucky. I’ve dabbled with having my celestial chart looked at every couple of years, just for a little tune-up. Every time, the guy sighs, and goes, “What can I say? You’ve just got a sprinkle of luck.” And I say, “That’s good, because I don’t have the talent, so I really need the luck!”

[cut]

There is a naughty, dark side to me. I am quite strongly affected by the moon. So if there’s a full moon I’ll go a bit crazy. (source)

This isn't the first time Richard's mentioned astrology – he's mentioned being a Leo, reading his daily horoscope, and finding out he was born in the Chinese Year of the Pig; but these were all informal twitter comments. He has also mentioned the effect the moon has on him before, in February 2020:

“Everyone has cycles of positive mental and emotional feelings and negative mental and emotional feelings and I know that I am profoundly affected on a monthly cycle. I always look at the calendar when I'm feeling particularly low and check the lunar cycle to see if it's a full or new moon.” (source)

However, what prompted me to write this is that Richard's personal put-downs were even more direct here than usual; and the connection that has to his natal, or birth, chart.

A little disclaimer: Personally, I think general horoscopes (like the ones you find in magazines) do far more harm than good. They are based solely on the twelve sun signs, and your sun sign is just one puzzle piece out of 25+ pieces that make up your natal chart. This is why many people don't relate to their horoscope or it's personality description.

Your natal chart, however, is a whole different animal. It's an intricate puzzle created by the exact date, time, and location you were born; which is why most people find their natal charts to be scarily accurate.

Back during the Hobbit days, a fan blog reported that Richard told a NZ fan that his birth time was just after 4 a.m. I used 4:05 for this post, and being off by a few minutes doesn't really make a difference.

Richard and self-esteem

I really feel for and relate to Richard's self-esteem struggles, because our charts mirror each other. We are both Leo suns; but I have my moon in Aries with my MC and Chiron conjunct each other in Virgo and sextile my North Node; while Richard has his moon in Virgo with his MC and Chiron conjunct each other in Aries and sextile his North Node.

What on earth does that mean?

Each planet represents a different part of you. The sun represents your ego/conscious self; the moon your emotions, mercury your mind/intellect, venus love and beauty/aesthetics, mars passion and drive, etc.

On top of the twelve planets, there are specific points and asteroids that are also important. Your MC, or Midheaven, represents your career and public persona. Your North Node describes your inner journey and life purpose. The asteroid Chiron describes your major soul wound, that you will be forced to deal with throughout your life.

A conjunction and a sextile are two of several different kinds of aspects. The different kinds of aspects are the different ways your respective puzzle pieces can interact with each other. Some are 'easy/positive' and some 'difficult/negative'. A sextile is considered easy/positive. A conjunction means two things are next to each other and overlap with one another, and is usually considered positive.

Leo and Aries are both fire signs. Fire signs are generally playful, warm, passionate, confident, and optimistic. Virgo is an earth sign. Earth signs are generally practical, grounded, sensual, and logical.

Richard's personality is dominated by an almost equal amount of Leo and Virgo influence, with both his sun (core self) and venus (love and beauty) in Leo and his moon (emotions) and mercury (mind) in Virgo.

Aries and Virgo are said to be the most difficult Chiron signs, because they are the wounds tied directly to your self-worth (Aries is the wound of Self and Virgo is the wound of Perfection). With Aries Chiron you feel a core sense of worthlessness, like you're missing a fundamental piece of your core self. This deeply felt lack of self-worth leads people to be people pleasers and have issues with confrontation and conflict.

Aries rules the planet mars. It is the warrior planet of passion, drive, and combat. A conventional Aries is confident, outgoing, impulsive, and strong willed. Aries and mars are definitely the rowdiest sign and planet in the zodiac. However, with Chiron here the traits are inverted, and so someone like Richard is much more likely to be scared of his inner passion, confidence, and willpower – depending, of course, on what the rest of his chart is like.

That leads us to Virgo. Chiron Virgo feels impure, like there is something fundamentally wrong with them. This kind of low self-esteem makes you feel like you have to constantly try to 'fix' yourself so people will love and accept you. It's an OCD type of perfectionism that only ends in failure and heartbreak.

A good example of how this works is when I talked to my therapist recently. I hadn't quite succeeded in meeting my goals, and so my automatic response was to condemn myself for failing. My therapists immediate response was to congratulate me on how much progress I had made.

Ironically, unlike with Aries, this isn't an inversion of the conventional Virgo. Conventional Virgo is meticulous, detail-oriented, focused, patient, efficient, practical, perfectionistic, systematic, and pessimistic with high expectations. If Aries is the official warrior of the zodiac, Virgo is the official nit-picker.

This means that Richard's subconscious intellectually (mercury) and emotionally (moon) expects and demands perfection, whilst simultaneously feeling fundamentally worthless. In short: ouch.

Interestingly, a significant number of celebrities have their Chiron conjunct their MC. Personally, I think Richard hit the nail on the head as to why in his essay on the Human Condition for Cybersmile:

The answer in my humble opinion, (and believe me it is humble, to a point of taking 43 years to be shared) is actually something which applies to my work as an actor. It’s why sometimes actors are called in to work with therapists, in large corporations, in schools. It’s why drama therapy is fantastic to understand what we do, how we do it and what the outcome might be, and in an improvisation where we aren’t playing ourselves sometimes we explore avenues that are too frightening or unacceptable in our own lives.

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So going back to my very first point, the “social media society” in which we’d all like to feel safe, supported, excited, creative, spontaneous, innovative, courageous, is really in our own hands. And back to acting, it’s taken me a long time to shake off the effects of bullying in school. That people were always laughing behind my back. I was always looking out of the corner of my eye. I now have incredible peripheral vision which is so useful, (as is Kinesthetic sense…Google it) but try being a brave, experimental, uninhibited actor with all of those hang ups. Wasn’t happening.

So here is the thing, and it’s key to my work and I think ours as a community. When we speak or write, we ultimately desire to ‘affect’. If we aren’t watching the destination of that affect, then how do we know our words have landed and the ‘effect’ they have caused?

[cut]

If I have a strong opinion about something which I want to express I really task myself with backing it up with the ‘why do I feel that?’

Again it’s part of my work building a believable character, and actually part of building a believable ‘me’ outside of my work. Just.. “because that’s what I feel” is a bit of a cop out.

[cut]

As for Bullying, it’s like the moment the pot boils over, or it’s the poisoned stream that can’t be cleansed, so why bother. Well I think that’s what art is for. It’s can support the best and the worst of ourselves. We can ‘attack’ a canvas with black angry paint, we can ‘savage’ a piano keyboard, we can dance until we drop, we can read about a Puritan society who executed elders, we can explore the psychology of a serial killer, and when we can’t do this ourselves we can experience it, and witness it through others.

It’s more than being nice. Edward Munch’s “The Scream” is far from nice. Francisco Goya’s “Saturn” is horrific, Metallica, Die Antwoort etc etc. But then there is Monet, Faure, Renée Fleming, Peter Jackson, Ariana Grande (ok it’s getting a bit eclectic I admit) but when we look, listen and empathize, we tune in to the Human Condition.

We are all part of The Human Condition, whether we like it or not. Social Media. Expression. The Human Condition.

Us human beings are wired for emotion and connection. For actors, their career gives them a way to safely process and explore their personal wounds through the characters they play. For Richard in particular, his mars is conjunct his North Node. So, his mars and North Node are sextile his Chiron and MC.

Remember, Aries (the sign of Richard's Chiron and MC) is ruled by mars. Mars is the warrior planet, like Aries is the warrior sign. This means that Richard's spiritual journey/life's purpose (North Node) deals directly with healing his soul wound so he can accept and embrace his inner confidence and willpower. This explains why he ends up playing a lot of ultra-masculine characters – mars/Aries are the most macho of them all.

This isn't to say I think Richard should change who he is! I wouldn't be interested in him if he was ultra-masculine or macho. However, for his own sake, I would be overjoyed to see him gain more self-esteem and inner confidence.

Extrapolating from my own personal experiences, the constant criticism and judgement I received during my adolescence from my peers and various authority figures (like family members and teachers) for being unconventional and 'over the top' caused me to turn on myself and repress my passion and will-power for several years. I think it's highly likely that Richard experienced this too.

Here are some quotes from Richard that illustrate everything I've been talking about (emphasis is mine):

Armitage is still notably handsome, but, within minutes of meeting him, it’s apparent how incongruous it is that this bookish, sensitive, self-described ‘melancholic, philosophically-minded softie’ and ardent fan of The Great British Bake Off was cast as beefcake killer totty for a considerable part of his career. ‘It’s ridiculous. It’s the complete opposite to who I am. I’m such a pacifist,’ he laughs. ‘But then, part of me always felt: “Well, isn’t that why we’re actors?”

[cut]

'I think the turning point was losing my mum,” he says. “Up until that point, I felt like I mustn’t put a foot wrong, that if I said the wrong thing or revealed too much about my personal life, it could all come crashing down, and it would come down on my parents, and they wouldn’t be proud of me anymore.” He shrugs. “Now that I’m past that I’m actually much more carefree about the choices I make.” (source)

Richard Armitage puts his head in his hands and emits a noise that's somewhere between a sigh, a laugh and a groan. “Oh no! Why would you want to pin this up?” he says with a horrified whisper.

[cut]

Never has a man seemed more ill at ease with the heartthrob label. He squirms with embarrassment in his chair every time the subject comes up. He is grateful for the loyalty of his fans, he says, but worries that “there is this thing of, 'Is he just totty?' Because the industry will sometimes write you off as a serious actor if they think that. I have always been conscious of that and fought against it, because I don't really see myself like that at all.”

[cut]

This brings us back to Astrov, who looks so relentless towards the future that he can't see the truth in front of his eyes. “It's interesting that he's an outsider in the play. I've often felt like that myself in life. I'm quite a solitary person. I enjoy my time with me, and sometimes it's not necessarily healthy, because I can talk myself into quite a dark place.

I'm an optimist, but at the same time, there's a discipline in me that will attack me for not working hard enough, not achieving enough, not being good enough. You always think, 'I'll grow out of that. With success, those voices will disappear.' But they don't, they get louder. I suppose I'm learning a bit about myself through Astrov.” (source)

The answer in my humble opinion, (and believe me it is humble, to a point of taking 43 years to be shared) is actually something which applies to my work as an actor. … And back to acting, it’s taken me a long time to shake off the effects of bullying in school. That people were always laughing behind my back. I was always looking out of the corner of my eye. I now have incredible peripheral vision which is so useful, (as is Kinesthetic sense…Google it) but try being a brave, experimental, uninhibited actor with all of those hang ups. Wasn’t happening. (Human Condition essay)

So I kind of travelled on that line for a while, and I was bullied for it as well. The problem with me is that as soon as you try to push me down or say “you can’t do this” and “I don’t think you should do that”, I immediately push back. So I did – I’d decided really young that I was going to try to make a career out of it.

[cut]

Actually, there was something I wanted to add to what Shaun said, about inclusivity, is that um, no matter how – how much confidence you have or how, in my case, lack. Y’know, I always felt like a misfit, or an oddball, or that I didn’t belong. But I always – I always told myself that ‘you exist in the world, so therefore there’s a place for you in this industry’. I think anybody who feels like, “I can’t become an actor because…” – you exist. And, y’know, the job of filmmakers is to write about our life and society, and if you are a part of that, then there’s a place for you in the industry. (source)

I'm a bit of a brooder. I don't like confrontation, so I think I suppress things. When my temper does come out, it goes all the way – the kind of temper you can't apologize for. Yep, the chair getting thrown out of the window. Those emotions are scary, but hey, they come in useful when you're acting. (source)

Armitage is a noticeably calm presence but he talks with passion.

[cut]

In the past, he has described himself as a shy person. “Not any more,” he says forcefully. “I mean… if I’m very, very honest, I’m a big guy, I think I’m at times quite a frightening person.”

In what way?

“I think I’m quite uncompromising. I can’t bear bulls---. And in a way the shyness is me protecting other people from that. I can feel that there’s an intimidation that can happen if I own my full height, and speak at my full volume. So I’ve learned over the years to just tone it all down a bit.” (source)

I've become one of those actors who find it difficult to say no when things are offered. I think if I had come out of drama school and been an instant Hollywood superstar I would be taking long, leisurely holidays. But I always feel somehow it's going to be taken away from me so I work when I can. When you struggled with work as I did when I left drama school you make hay when the sun shines. There was a time when I thought, and my agent thought, it wasn't going to happen for me. We both sat down and I actually said I don't know if I can stay in this state. The interesting roles have only come since I got into my 30s. But I didn't know that was going to happen. I'm a bit of an all or nothing kind of guy. To be honest, I had no blind faith in myself. I don't think I could have stayed around as a jobbing actor. I would probably have quit. Who knows? I think I would have found that too frustrating. But at the moment when I thought I was going to quit, something happened and it all changed again. (source)

[talking about being cast in the Hobbit]

There was a little bit of guidance as to what they were looking for. I felt that I was too young for the character, too tall for that character, so I thought, you know, ‘I’ll just look at the scene they’ve written’. And then I realised the essence of the character that they were aiming for. So I went to meet Peter and Phillipa and we read some of the scenes. I think we spent an hour-and-a-half talking about the character and what their vision was, and I sort of explained who I thought he was, and that was it.

[cut]

Yeah, my first instinct, whenever that kind of thing happens, is to say, 'Well what's wrong with the part? Why did nobody else want it'? Which is kind of the story of my life really. When I get offered something, I'm like, 'Well there must be something wrong with it if they're offering it to me!'

[cut]

But you know, the thing is, you talk about all of this: ‘How did you get the role? And how did it feel when you got the role?’ And once all that’s died down you start to think, ‘I’ve actually got to go and play this now’. They’ve trusted me. Everyone’s happy, everyone’s celebrated, the phones have gone down and the deal’s been done. Now it’s over to me to make the role work. And that’s the scariest moment, because you do have that elation and then the work begins and you think, ‘How the hell am I going to do this?’ (source)

How was it for you taking on this beloved role, this character that has such a huge responsibilty on his back? Could you relate in some ways?

Richard Armitage: Yeah. There is always building within him this paranoia that he’s not a good enough leader, and that weighs him down. I have experienced that same feeling as an actor in this role. And I was aware of taking on the responsibility of that character, so there was something I could latch onto there, as one of the people who loved ‘The Hobbit’ book and had envisioned that character. It took me a while to be convinced that I could do it, it wasn’t until I saw some sketches, this one particular pencil sketch….there was something about this characters eyes and the way that his hands are crossed, I thought, “I think I can do this, I can pull this off.” (source)

Q: I wanted to ask you about what your Arkenstone is. For you personally.

A: Me personally?

Q: And I meant for this to be materialistic. What's the thing that you covet so much that it makes you mad that you don't have it?

A: Well, it's actually not material. It's not material, and it's – (laughs) You want a comedy answer, don't you? But it's respect. It's the thing that always eludes you, you know. You have to fight for it and when you get it, your arkenstone, the thing that crowns you, is respect.

Q: And also a sweater.

A: And a sweater. I do have this little natty number.

Q: It's a good one man.

A: Tom Ford made this personally. But hey, he can have it back. I don't covet wealth and material. (source)

Q6: You’ve done a variety of different roles, I wonder what influences you to pursue those roles?

R: More often than not, you go where you’re wanted. So getting hired is still kind of a revelation to me, a shock and a surprise. Sometimes you have very flat periods, where I don’t really care what comes next, I just want to work on something. I feel like I’ve got a little cloud of luck over my head so the right thing always seems to come along. But again, I’m easily excited about literature and stories, so I’ve always said I don’t really pursue glory, I’d happily do acting for two people in my living room if it was a role that I really enjoyed with a story I’d really like to tell. So it’s chance, I would say.

[cut]

Q8: Once in an interview about Thorin, you were asked what your arkenstone was and your answer was respect. I like this answer a lot. So I was wondering what’s your red dragon? As you said yesterday he’s a character who sheds his skin, improves, and becomes something. I was wondering if there was something you’d like to improve, become?

R: I guess the antithesis of that is disrespect. Do you mean in myself?

Q8: Yes.

R: Yeah I try not to be too disrespectful. I guess I value the truth. I think we’re living at a time at the moment where the truth is warped and there’s a word that’s been in my head for a long time, and particularly recently it’s come to the surface. When I was studying Macbeth, at the RSC, I read a long thesis about the gunpowder plot, which was one of the things they thought that Shakespeare (or whoever Shakespeare was) was stimulated by to write Macbeth. And the word equivocation was used in this thesis, it was actually about equivocation and what equivocation is. And if you look it up in the dictionary, at the moment most politicians are equivocating. When you don’t answer a question, or you bend the truth to make it seem like you are answering the question, and in fact you’re telling a lie. So I would say my red dragon would be equivocation.

[cut]

Then there was the physical form that I was studying and observing, but also, I do sometimes enjoy locking myself away in a room and reading a book or just doing something alone, and you sometimes can go a couple of days without speaking to anybody. I don’t know whether anyone else experiences this or whether I’m just a weirdo. But I find that when that happens my voice changes, and I always forget how to make a noise, I have to do a warm-up before I go into the world and start speaking again.

[cut]

Q15: I was wondering if you ever had to pull out of a project because it felt wrong or something, and what is the point where you say “nope I can’t do this”?

R: Um, no. But that’s partly to do with the fact that I have a lot of loyalty, probably too much loyalty for my own good, really, and there’ve been moment when I’ve been on board a project, and actually it happened this year with The Lodge, I was already on board that project and something else came along which was bigger and better and brighter and more money, and your agent says “look we can pull you out of The Lodge, they can probably recast it,” and here I think “I’ve already started this process, I don’t want to let people down,” and I don’t have a problem with that at all, I never have any regrets over the things that you miss or the things that you decide not to do, I think there’s a strong enough reason why you’ve decided not to do it, but in general no I haven’t ever pulled out of something. There was one television show I remember, I’m not going to say what it is, but after the first readthrough, I did call my agent and asked, “can I get out of this?” And then he quickly got back to me and said, “don’t do it. Don’t build a reputation built on disloyalty.” So I try not to.

[cut]

Q18: I think you are very handsome, but your character Francis hated the way he looked, how did that make you feel?

R: Francis hated the way he looked? Yeah. I guess there is something we relate to in that. Without getting too personal, I don’t always enjoy looking at myself in the mirror. I don’t do it very often, to be honest. I do it just to be sure I don’t have food on my face. I do it in character, actually. I do spend a bit of time studying my own face when I’m playing a character, which is interesting because your face does change. (source)

He cannot see the handsomeness: “I think I am odd-looking. I have big lines on my forehead.” I squint, looking for them, but he is talking over me, sounding slightly panicked. “I shouldn’t draw attention to it, because then everyone else will see the oddness.”

[cut]

Laziness is what makes him angry: “Laziness in myself. Laziness in other people. And dishonesty. All things I feel capable of myself. I have a propensity to be lazy and lie about it. Fear makes me rageful. There are words in The Crucible I actually find it quite hard to say.” I beg for an example — The Crucible is in the public domain. “No,” he says, “you’ll see it in the play.” I tell him it will make no sense in print if he will not tell me. But he won’t. So I change the subject. It works. “OK, I will give you a line.” He inflates a little and says: “Is there no good penitence but it be public?” And then: “Were I stone I would have cracked for shame this seven month.” (source)

Q: How would you describe your evolution as an actor since you started?

A: I think everything has to do with the fact that today I’m not afraid anymore. At first, I was embarrassed to do something wrong or do things badly or make myself ridiculous. Today, I am almost looking for opportunities to be ridiculous or vulnerable or to make as much of a mistake as possible. In a sense, it’s now the opposite of being undercover.

Q: Are you the actor you dreamed of being when you started?

A: Not yet. I am not yet fearless enough. It’s in waves, actually. But I have already approached this dream. There were moments, especially during Arthur Miller’s The Crucible, which I performed on stage, where I felt I had no control over things. That’s what I’m looking for: to lose control.

Q: You often play bad guys. What do you like in these characters?

A: I like disobedience. I like the fact that you can be disobedient thanks to your creativity. As a person, I must always be polite in life, be careful and correct so as not to hurt anyone. In a fantasy world, I can be as offensive as I want. It’s an outlet. (Laughter)

[cut]

Q: Many actors are moving to directing. Is this also your goal?

A: I would like to, but I do not think I’m smart enough. I am good when it comes to working with another’s vision. I do not think I have that creative spontaneity that creates a vision from scratch. But the future will tell. (source)

I applaud Richard for being so open and direct about his fears and insecurities. It takes a lot of bravery to do so. And while I've seen some fans get annoyed with his continual self-deprecation, I think his honesty and openness is much more significant, and shows his inner strength. He doesn't try to pretend to be someone he's not.

He recently described himself as “patient, obsessive, and silly” (source). The patient part is classic Virgo, and the obsessive part comes from an element of his natal chart that I have not mentioned.

The silly part, however, is classic Leo. Like I said above, he has an almost equal amount of Leo and Virgo in his personality. Personally, I'm proud to be a Leo, but I also know we get misunderstood a lot of the time. I wrote the following for an essay of mine on Leos in Disney:

Your sun sign represents your core identity. Just like the physical sun is the center of the solar system and its energy creates life, the astrological sun is our consciousness and life force. Each of the twelve sun signs are ruled by a different planet and element.

Since Leo is the fixed fire sign, we don't inherit the reckless and impulsive nature of fire, but instead are a steady flame. No sign is more reckless and impulsive than Aries, because they have the double combination of being a cardinal sign and a fire sign. Meanwhile, all four of the fixed signs struggle with stubbornness and admitting when their wrong.

Leo's are well known to be natural leaders and the rulers of the zodiac. We are ruled by the sun and our animal is the lion. We dream big and are born with big personalities, and we can't help but be theatrical and dramatic. This means we are always self-centered in the sense of being strong-willed and having a strong sense of self. It does not mean all Leos are egotistical.

Unhealthy Leo traits all revolve around the ego: attention-seeking, egotistical, selfish, bossy, controlling, pushy, jealous, possessive, lazy, vain, arrogant, aggressive, and obstinate.

Healthy Leos, however, are known for our fire-based traits – being animated, theatrical, happy, outgoing, independent, competitive, charismatic, creative, open-minded, open-hearted, confident, assertive, playful, warm, social, courageous, idealistic, affectionate, romantic, optimistic, and adventurous.

What isn't often talked about is our steadiness, our fixed-based traits. Leos are authentic, steadfast, fiercely loyal and protective, consistent, persistent, full-hearted, dedicated, need to do their best, generous and selfless, honorable and moral, genuine and direct, extremely supportive, hard-working and responsible, dignified, strong-willed, and ambitious and determined.

Something that is often mentioned but highly misunderstood is our trait of courage. Having courage doesn't mean you're fearless or reckless. The definition of courage is “the power or quality of dealing with or facing danger, fear, pain, etc.” It means that instead of running away from our problems or denying our emotions; healthy Leos face them and be genuine and direct with ourselves, embracing our vulnerability.

Having a big personality doesn't necessarily mean someone has a big ego. C.S. Lewis once said, “Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking of yourself less.” Leos have huge hearts and are incredibly generous. The sun never goes retrograde, always shines, and gives life and energy to all living beings – it isn't selective or discriminatory. Healthy Leos are like mini suns; which is why we are also irrepressibly upbeat, optimistic, and fun-loving.

We're not pushovers. We are like roses – we have both flower petals and thorns. If you mess with someone we love you're going down. We're too loyal and protective to let major things slide; and even if we forgive, we never forget. Little things? We'll try to work them out with you.

Being naturally strong-willed and assertive is healthy – it just means we usually make horrible subordinates and yes people. There's nothing wrong with having high standards and being open about them. In fact, in relationships it's far better in the long run to open and frank about what you need and what you consider a dealbreaker from the beginning.

And oh yes are we ambitious and competitive – but most often with ourselves. We're natural leaders who always dream and think big. For a healthy Leo it's not about being the best, but doing your best. We have to be grand and intense, we're ruled by the sun. It's all or nothing for us. Settling is not something a Leo does. We need to be the best leader, the best friend, the best partner, etc. that we possibly can.

Also, in astrology each sign rules a different body part, and Leo rules the heart and upper back.

Adding to this, Leos are known as the Kings/Queens of the zodiac not because we're egotistical, but because our sun sign is the sun. It's like a double amount sun. I could go into significantly more detail about this, but it involves a lot of technical astrological details; so if anyone wants to know more just message me!

Going back to Richard, having his core self (sun) and love/beauty (venus) in Leo explains why he is an actor and artist; and why he is often warm, silly, and dramatic when he feels comfortable – his long interview with The Anglophile Channel (and it's deleted scenes) does a great job of showing the synergy between his Leo and Virgo sides.

We see Richard express the heartfelt, generous, sincere, and honorable side of Leo all the time. This is why I'm sure he has the inner-confidence and strength hidden within him to overcome the deep pain his Chiron causes him (like it does to us all). I hope he continues to find projects and people that help him on his journey to heal.

Thank you for reading this, I'm wishing him and you all the best. Take care!

[selfwriting-sugarquills]

70 Fred Weasley headcanons in celebration of 700 followers:

(plus an extra one, for the heck of it lmao) 

You guys, thank you so much for 700 followers! I appreciate every single one of you and writing for the twins has been such a blast so far, much to the thanks of all of you <3 

Find the 70 George Headcanons: Here

Fred has always been really good at sleight of hand stuff, as a kid, he could do card tricks with ease, steal baked goods from his mother’s kitchen and later on since his allowance wasn’t exactly anything to brag about, he’d steal sweets from honeydukes' on Hogsmeade trips, with the help of George, he’s not proud of it but in his defence, he was a stupid teenage boy at the time. 

Fred is incredibly competitive and will hold onto anything you challenge him to for way longer than you might think. He’s definitely the type to “race you” anytime you’re headed to herbology, care against magical creatures or Hogsmeade together.

As the man himself said in the deathly hallows, Fred doesn’t like the idea of a big grandiose wedding ceremony, he’d prefer something more low-key and simple, where the focus is more on having fun and celebrating instead of neat seating plans and meticulously chosen decorations. Some flowers and booze will do, he’ll provide the fireworks - In essence, he only needs his S/O and the rest he couldn’t care less about. 

George may be better at cooking, but Fred makes a damn good pancake and he will forever pride himself on that. 

Fred is the more jealous, overprotective twin. He’s aware of this and tries his best not to let it go to his head but he can’t help it. 

Fred snores, I’m pretty sure it’s canon that both twins snore, but Fred is louder and, as mentioned in my last headcanon post, a very heavy sleeper meaning it’s more difficult to get him to wake up so he can stop, your best shot is trying (and probably failing) to turn him over. 

Fred is also a very restless sleeper, he’ll toss and turn, and occasionally dream about quidditch. I’m saying you might want to be aware that he might confuse you for a bludger in his sleep, don’t worry though, he’ll always apologise profusely and make it up to you with a lot of kisses (and maybe a bit more than that, if you’re keen ;)) 

Fred has an extensive caffeine addiction, which is unfortunate cause he’s quite hyper already but he can’t function properly until he gets his coffee in the morning, and then again in between lessons/at lunch and then again late in the afternoon. Sometimes, if he needed to write an essay that was due, he’d drink coffee at like nine pm. He knows he won’t be able to sleep because of it, please, Y/n, he’s accepted his fate. 

I personally always imagined the twins as having ADHD, idk why it just fits their characters. Fred is for sure the more outwardly fidgety and intrusive, this gets less and less with age, as it does for a lot of ADHD people, his inability to focus remains the same though. 

Fred loves being outside, he’s the first of the Weasley siblings to suggest a game of quidditch or just going outside for walks, hide and seek in the woods near their house. He absolutely loves taking his dates on walks in parks or at the beach and when he has kids he plays with them in their yard, building snowmen etc. 

Fred probably suggests at some point that the whole family should go camping, and he’s actually really fun to camp with. He’ll tell the best scary stories by the campfire. 

In regards to children, Fred wants a lot of kids. Like at least three but would be willing to have more if his s/o wants to. He just really likes the dynamic of a large family since that’s what he’s used to. 

Fred’s favourite flavour of sweets is anything sour, the sourer the better, because of this he can handle it really well and he loves handing people some of his ridiculously sour candy and watching them squirm. 

He also really likes spicy food, he’s a bit of a daredevil so don’t challenge him to eat anything because he will eat a whole chilli and nearly die. 

 You know he’d be really casual about it too, lol, like sweating and crying but just leaning on the counter like “*pant* what? hot? no not at all *deeeeep breath* I can ha-aw-rdly taste it!” 

One thing about Fred is that he’s oddly squeamish, like seeing his brother’s ear blown off isn’t so bad (if you don’t take into account the emotional trauma that is), but a needle for a blood sample or a vaccine? oooh, he’s gonna need a big juice box and a cookie and his s/o’s hand to hold if he’s gonna make it through. He also has a thing about leeches. One time at Hogwarts they were mentioned in a lesson and he thought he was going to faint the entire time. 

Fred’s broken five bones over the years, four are from quidditch: his left arm and two ribs, and then the other arm from trying to do an elaborate stunt on the stairs in the burrow and falling down two flights. 

Fred loves to sing karaoke (because I cannot get that damn clip of James singing karaoke out of my head) though he particularly enjoys doing a very poor job on purpose. 

Fred is such a good liar that on several occasions he’s given presentations in school and gotten good marks for them despite having bullshat his way through the entire thing. 

Like seriously, he’s that guy in the group project who only looks at the slides like five minutes before the presentation and then just turns on a full charming newscaster voice on the professor to the point of them being genuinely convinced (albeit a little confused) that what Fred’s saying is true. 

This is also why Fred loves playing card games like poker: he’s really good at bluffing. 

Speaking of poker-face, he’s really quite good at teasing in public (if you’re into that sort of thing *wink*) because no matter the dirty deeds he might get up to under a table, his face remains as regular as always (safe for a little smirk to his lover every now and then) 

Fred always wanted to learn an instrument, he thought it’d make him cooler when he was a teenager, as an adult, he just really wants to recreate that clip of the trombone-playing dad with the sunglasses, or maybe serenade some cows with jazz or something. 

Fred was never a big fan of the uniform thing, so he always tried to make it his own, whether that be tying the tie differently, or having his sleeves rolled up; it’s not much but you gotta take what you can get when you’re literally dressed the same as everyone else. 

Fred might make fun of his dad’s interest in muggle things but secretly he loves it too. He has spent a lot of hours in the shed with Arthur, assuring everyone that it was just to have some quality time with his dad but he would still pay close attention when Arthur explained things to him. 

Fred had a whole business of selling candy from Honeydukes’ and joke products from Zonko’s to second and first years before he and George started dabbling with their own products, he could get you a butterbeer too but it’ll cost you an extra three galleons. 

Fred really likes glitter, George has a thing for lace, anything that glitters on his s/o makes Fred weak. If you want to get your way just put on some glittery eyeshadow or lipgloss and watch him spin. 

Since he loves things that glitter and gleam he loves buying his s/o jewellery, he loves seeing them wearing them as little tokens of their relationship. 

Did someone say slight possession kink? oops not me

Fred is incredible with numbers, this is pretty much canon and has been explored but I’m just amazed at this boy’s wit AND intellect. I have a slight headcanon that if he ever goes on a proper first date with someone where a bill is involved, he impresses his date by calculating the tip after just a glance.

Even if Fred has a longstanding reputation of not caring about school, when he has kids he does want to help them with any coursework over the summer and Christmas breaks, he’ll even study up on his old books just to be able to help out in any classes he didn’t take/didn’t pay attention in. 

Fred would, in general, be an amazing father. He’s goofy and playful most of the time, though he’s serious and incredibly caring whenever his kids are in a bad mood or have problems. He knows that he’s not the most outwardly emotional of the twins but he makes sure his kids know they can always talk to him about anything. 

Fred is incredibly messy. His room is usually a cry for help and he only cleans it when it gets to the point where it distracts him from focusing on work. 

No worries though, his S/O doesn’t have to do all the housework for him, he’ll do it. He just needs to be reminded that he needs to every once in a while. 

Fred has a really bad temper, he doesn’t know where he gets it from but he tends to get angry easier than George, though Fred is better at letting it out so it doesn’t continue to bother him. 

His bad temper does mean that he used to brawl more with siblings as a kid, and it wasn’t unusual to see him with scrapes and bruises as a kid, much to Molly’s dismay. Fred didn’t mind though, he thought it made him look tough. 

Fred is more likely to get caught sneaking around because of his brash nature, he tends to forget just how quiet you have to be to avoid Mrs Norris in the corridors. 

Fred is certainly not an early bird but his favourite time of day is, in fact, the morning when the sun’s coming up. He only knows this because of Wood’s ridiculously early quidditch practices but there’s something about the way the world looks when it’s bathed in soft golden light that just hits different to Fred. 

Fred is a great team player, as much as he seems like he’s more selfish than George, if it’s regarding a team activity (like quidditch or a battle of sorts) he’ll completely lose all focus on himself and only try to ensure other’s safety and victory. This is also why he plays as a beater, he’s not afraid of getting hit at all when he’s focused on getting the bludgers away from his teammates. 

So if his s/o ever needs it, he’ll be there to help with anything: Needs to take a day off from work to take care of his sick s/o? no problem. Needs to stay up with his small child because his s/o is exhausted and needs rest? On it. Something as small as carrying groceries or books, making a cup of tea when the other is busy or doing the dishes is all on the list of things that Fred will happily do for his s/o, and often without having to be asked, he’ll just do it. 

Fred’s boggart is seeing his family members and/or his s/o hurt beyond what he can save. Essentially his worst fear is being helpless when he needs it most. 

One of those times was when George lost his ear. The first night when George was lying practically unconscious on the couch with blood everywhere was the worst night of Fred’s life, he truly felt so anxious and helpless and angry that he vomited and ended up passing out next to the couch after staying up till sunrise watching his brother like a hawk. 

He didn’t just sleepwalk when he was younger, he also often experienced nightmares, it’s only George, Molly and Arthur who remembers anything about this. 

They got less and less the older he got and he assumed that he’d never be bothered by them again until after the second wizarding war and the battle of Hogwarts. 

I don’t like to headcanon that he dies cause he didn’t and that’s final lol. I do, however, headcanon that Fred still gets hurt, since everyone in the explosion beside him seemed to sustain minor injuries, I just think that to even out with George losing his ear, he hurts his leg and needs a lot of retraining/a walking stick. I think that’d be a more fair/unfair ending for Fred who’s always full of energy having to have to adjust to living slowly for a little while (not permanently, I couldn’t do that to my boy). 

The boy has anxiety sometimes, ok. (just let me project for a second)

He didn’t know how much tension he usually holds in his body until he drank alcohol for the first time and felt his entire body loosen up and was like “huh this is new.” 

He doesn’t use alcohol to deal with it though, he prefers just talking to George about whenever he feels is stressing him out and that helps. A massage from his s/o to loosen him up doesn’t hurt either. 

Fred prefers to talk to his dad about his problems more than he prefers to talk to Molly, generally. 

His favourite body parts on his s/o: Shoulders, hips, hands. 

He loves to kiss, just in general, but he also loves kissing his s/o’s nose, forehead, neck, shoulder, etc. as little gestures of affection. 

He def. has a bit of a size kink, he loves being taller than his s/o. 

If Fred could have any pet he wanted, he’d probably want a dog, the bigger the better. He doesn’t think he has the time for a pet though. 

It was his idea to start breeding pygmy puffs, it’s the closest he’ll get to having a pet. 

I don’t know why but I feel like when Fred and his s/o are expecting and his s/o goes into labour he just panics. loses it, drops the binkie as we say in Denmark: Freaks the fuck out, if you will. He’s definitely the pacing and wringing his hands together type, though he probably tries his best to keep himself composed and chill during the whole thing whilst simultaneously hyperventilating. 

Fred doesn’t cry often but he sure as hell wept with pride when he held all his kids for the first time. 

Despite the notion that the twins often slip in a joke version of a sweet treat or something similar amongst the snacks at parties, Fred is strongly against tampering with drinks. He knows the connotations it holds and he doesn’t want anyone to be afraid they’d put something in it. If he wants you to test out their truth serum or a love potion, he’ll just ask you flat out and if you don’t want to, he’s not going to continue asking. 

Most of the detentions Fred has gotten from Snape come from times he’s spoken back to him when Snape’s been giving another student a rough time. He doesn’t regret it one bit. 

 If you ask Fred what his proudest accomplishment is, he’ll probably say that it’s having had enough restraint to not punch Umbridge in the face every time he saw her. 

On the note of Umbridge. It wasn’t her detentions with him that got his blood boiling, it was when she punished little kids (a la Nigel) for doing practically nothing, he understands that to an extent and by comparison, setting off a bunch of fireworks inside a building would harbour a harsher punishment, but making twelve-year-olds bleed for running in the halls or playing music or just doing things that twelve-year-olds will inevitably do, is something Fred doesn’t understand. That year pretty much any kid younger than him, or anyone who was too afraid to stand up for themselves, became Fred and George’s little siblings, and they’re very protective older brothers. Umbridge can vouch for that. 

He struggles with a lot of insecurity in his relationships, he always puts on a front of being extra funny and outgoing when he’s in a new relationship because he’s secretly afraid that the way he is isn’t good enough and that eventually, his s/o will see through him and leave because they don’t like the softer, more serious side of him. 

Fred is the godfather of all of George’s kids but is also the godparent of Hugo, Lily and Lucy. 

Fred loves business meetings, he sees them as a good challenge to practice his smooth talk. 

Fred spent his first salary from the shop on the most expensive bottle of champagne he could find and a new suit. 

Fred tried to get into whiskey, feeling like it’d make him a cool business owner type of man, so, with his second salary, he went out and bought a fancy-schmancy bottle of whiskey and the whole getup with a bottle and some cool glasses, and then invited Lee over to try it with him and George. 

They did not like it. Fred thought it tasted like what he imagined gasoline tastes like so they mostly used it as decorations, not having the heart to mix it with something. 

Fred doesn’t necessarily like PDA, it depends on what you mean. He likes being secretive. Pulling his s/o into an empty classroom, nook, hallway, secret pathway etc where anyone could wander in at any time and snogging her senseless is one of his favourite things to do. 

Fred knows how good he looks in his quidditch uniform and will absolutely use it against his s/o. (they’re gonna get spicy from here on so read with caution if you're in public)

Fred prefers giving more than receiving oral. 

He has a lot of energy, did you not think that would rub off (no pun intended) on his sex drive? He can go pretty much any time and place, and typically last at least two rounds. 

Also, his favourite position is having you on top. Okay, I'm gonna stop now. 

[unknownwriting]

Ruin Our Friendship

[Part 1]

Summary: Poor Ace has fallen head over heels for his best friend but he's scared that he'll ruin their friendship if he tells her. (pt. 2) 

Characters: Portgas D. Ace

Song Inspiration: Jenny by Studio Killers

Work count: 4.2k (I was not expecting it to be this long)

Notes: Part 2 of the one shot, hehe it’s a little longer than the first i hoped y’all like it. Sorry it took so long I was not expect 2 book reports and 2 essays to be assigned 🤬🔫 

━━☆⌒*.

“...Ace, if I go on one....more rollercoaster, I think Imma...puke.” (Y/n) groaned as she stumbled over to a bench. Ace watched her, her hair a mess and her face flush from the excitement. For the whole mess she looked like, Ace found it so cute. He let out a loud laugh, taking a seat right next to her.

“Giving up so soon? I thought you’d have more in you.” Ace teased. (Y/n) shot a glare over at him but she couldn’t help but let a smile brush across her lips.

“Oi, shut up! I’m not built like a monster like you. And plus-“ (Y/n) leaned back on the bench as her stomach let out a low growl. She let out a soft whimper and placed a hand on her stomach before looking back at Ace, “-plus. I’m hungry. I wanna eat something.”

“I saw a hot dog stand just around the corner. Let’s stop there.” Ace laughed, standing back up. (Y/n) watched him for a moment, trying to calm herself down at but from the rollercoaster they just went on. It had to be their 4th rollercoaster in a row, she was just surprised with how casual Ace still seems to be acting. With a small scoff from her lips, she jumped up and intertwined their fingers once again.

“A hot dog doesn’t sound too bad.” She smiled leading the 2 of them to the food stand. Ace smiled down at her while the 2 of them walked hand in hand through the crowded park. Today was possibly the best day ever in Ace’s eyes, nothing could ruin today. The weather was perfect: not a cloud in the sky nor a chilly breeze. The park was amazing: not too many people nor long lines. And of course the best part of all: that fact that he’s going on a date with his best friend. Nothing could be better than this. After Ace got over his shyness and awkwardness, everything began to flow smoothly. The conversations came naturally and there seemed to be no conflict between the 2 when it came to activities. It was almost like the 2 were hanging out as friends but with all the hand-holding and the way Ace’s heart still raced in his chest, it made him remember it was a date. It also made him realize just how hard he has fallen for her.

“After this let’s go play some games.” (Y/n) had exclaimed as she squeezed his hand to get his attention. Glancing down at her, Ace followed her pointing her finger over at a row of games, “I wanna win a really big bear.”

“No more rides?”

“Ace if I go on another ride I will puke all over you,” (Y/n) said in a dumbfounded tone as she looked up at her date. Still hand and hand they made their way to an empty table. As (Y/n) took a seat pointed over to the stand and smiled, “Now Ace, go get me a hot dog!”

“Huh? You can’t get it?”

“Nope, it’s the man's job to buy their date a hot dog. It’s the first rule of dating.” (Y/n) exclaimed. Ace's face flushed red before he made his way over to the stand to order. Once Ace got them both a meal he went back to (Y/n) and let out a scoff as he saw (Y/n)'s eyes light up at the sight of food.

“I don’t think I’d ever been this excited to eat a hot dog.”

“So you really didn’t eat before coming here?”

“Of course not. Knowing you, you’d wanna go on a lot of rides so I tried not to eat anything that would upset me.” (Y/n) explained as she took a bit out of her food and hummed happily. Ace froze for a moment as he watched her eat. It was always the little things that made Ace fall for her. Even if she did it for herself, the fact that she thought of him was enough to make his heart explode. With the rush of shivers that ran through his body, he opened his mouth to speak but he caught his breath before he could say anything. He had a plan, well more like Macro and Thatch had a plan, for how Ace would confess. The 2 of you would spend the day together riding rides, playing games, eating junk food, and taking pictures, silly and cute ones. Basically, stuff the 2 of them would normally do together, and then at the end of the day is when Ace would confess. The park plans a huge firework show once every few months, so what would be a better place to confess than a huge firework show. The plan was simple and flawless, the only problem is waiting to see if it goes that way. He felt confident though, the date has been going smoothly so far. He hasn’t seen anyone who knew them or hasn’t run into any problems, with (Y/n) or anyone else. It was going well, nothing seemed to be getting in the way...

But of course, he spoke too soon. As the 2 of them finished their meal and began to ball up their trash, a loud voice called out to them. (Y/n) was the first to perk up and turn around to search. Ace immediately cringed as he recognized the voice. He’s totally jinxed their date.

“Ace, (Y/n) !!”

“Oh! Luffy, Sabo! I didn’t expect you 2 to be here.” (Y/n) called out as she waved back to the 2 approaching boys. Luffy and Sabo were quick to make their way over to Ace and (Y/n)'s side. As soon as Luffy took a spot next to (Y/n) and Sabo took a spot next to Ace, Luffy and (Y/n) already began to laugh.

“Pfftt...Lu-chan what are you even wearing? That headband seems very-“

“Shishishi, isn’t cool!! I beat Sabo and won it.” Luffy cheered as he smiled brightly at (Y/n) and place a hand on the strange hat he won. Now that he mentions it, (Y/n) does remember seeing those hats at the front. It would be a lie to say that winning one of those didn’t cross her mind, but she figured that she would force Ace to win her on one the way out like a boyfriend should do.

“Luffy beat you? Lu-chan must’ve been going easy on you.” (Y/n) teased as her eyes glazed over to the older blonde. Sabo tensed up and shook his head, trying to hide his embarrassment.

“It was dumb luck. I was winning but he came in and won instead. My hand simply slipped.” Sabo explained to cover up his embarrassment. (Y/n) scoffed as she raised an eyebrow at Sabo, who stared down at her. He knew (Y/n) was gonna say something, she always says some type of remark. Just like Ace, Sabo also met (Y/n) in one of his classes. They easily got along and it wasn’t until later on did (Y/n) learn that he was Ace’s brother. That was probably the moment Ace realized he fell. To him, family is extremely important to him and of course, his lover must like his family. So when Ace learned about how well she got along with Sabo, he knew he fell. Ace watched too, wondering if (Y/n) was gonna say anything and she was because she opened her mouth but was quickly cut off by Luffy again. He grabbed her attention and began to talk about who knows what. Sabo seemed to be interested in the conversation but he was pulled away when Ace spoke up. Ace still found it hard to believe, out of all the days, why did Sabo and Luffy have to come today. Out of all the days, why today? It was no lie that it made him frustrated. This day was just supposed to be him and (Y/n) and now Sabo and Luffy showed up. He’s not stupid either, he knows what going to happen next now that they ran into the 2, and it made him upset but he knows that the 2 of them mean no harm, it was simply just a coincidence.

“What are you 2 doing here?” Ace asked, trying his best to not sound upset, although it wasn’t really working. Sabo was quick to catch onto the tone in his voice but for the sake of Luffy and (Y/n) in front of them, he decided not to call him out on it.

“Nothing much.” Sabo shrugged, “I had a day off and Luffy wanted to come. Although we didn’t know you’d be here today, especially with (Y/n). I thought you were busy?”

“...I am.” Ace hesitated as he looked over at (Y/n) who continued to laugh with Luffy about something. The way her whole body would jiggle when she laughed, and the way she would put a hand on the other person’s arm, and the way her laugh echoed through the area, it was all things Ace knew all too well. No matter how many times he looks at her, he just keeps finding more reasons to fall in love. Sabo followed his gaze and looked at (Y/n) before looking back at Ace and the blush that not so subtly covered his cheeks. He’s had his speculation about Ace’s crush on (Y/n) for a while now, and seeing how he can finally connect the pieces, he understood why Ace was busy and it didn’t help that Luffy and he interrupted it.

“Oh.” Sabo hummed as he shifted in his seat grabbing Luffy and (Y/n)'s attention. It was Sabo’s and Luffy’s cue to finally leave Ace and (Y/n) alone to enjoy the rest of their date. It would be a lie to say that he wanted to leave, in all honesty, he wanted to watch Ace go on this date. It’s been so long since Ace has found someone that actually gave him butterflies in his stomach but Sabo respected Ace’s wish. The one he really had to worry about was Luffy, he’s definitely one to not read between the lines, thus this is where Sabo comes in, “Luffy, come on let's go. We should leave Ace and (Y-”

“No!! I still wanna go on some rides with her!” Luffy exclaimed as he jumped up out of his seat and grabbed (Y/n)'s hand. She yelps from the sudden force, causing Ace and Sabo to jump up alongside her to make sure she doesn’t fall. Although she didn’t have time to fall as she was quickly dragged behind Luffy as he pulled her to the next ride he wanted to do. (Y/n) looked back at the others with a worried yet apologetic look as she tried her best to regain her balance. She felt really bad leaving the Ace behind, it was just supposed to be him and her the whole day yet Luffy and Sabo just happened to appear. Even though they did appear, (Y/n) was just going to make a short conversation with them and move on. She was sure Ace had the same idea, but she should’ve known that Luffy was bound to do something. All (Y/n) could do now I hope that Luffy doesn’t stay long.

ミ☆

After a long day of being pulled around the park with a very energetic Luffy and going on almost all the rides, (Y/n) was ready to puke. Not only was she ready to puke she’s also ready to go back to Ace and hopefully end the day together, at least. Throughout the day, (Y/n) barely had any time with Ace because of Luffy. Ace and Sabo tried their best to try and keep up with the 2 but as soon as Ace and Sabo arrived at the ride Luffy had already dragged (Y/n) on it or to a different ride. So much for Ace and (Y/n)'s date, it might as well have been Luffy and (Y/n)'s date. However, Luffy finally began to crash near the end, letting Ace and Sabo finally catch up to the 2. At the moment, Luffy and (Y/n) sat at the front of the park talking about each of their favorite rides while Ace and Sabo made their way to them. Now don’t get her wrong, (Y/n) enjoyed the day with Luffy but she still felt really bad about leaving Ace behind. It was supposed to be their first date today yet they hardly spent any time together.

“I liked the roller coaster that spun around while we rode it. That one was probably my favorite. " (Y/n) explained as she recalled that ride. She made Luffy ride it at least 3 times.

“Shishishi. We rode it at least 3 times, you really did like it.”

“Of course, it was a lot better than those rides you made me ride with all the twists and turns. I’m surprised I last as long as I did, I was about to puke. You're worse than Ace.” (Y/n) exclaimed as she leaned back into the bench, she was happy to sit somewhere that didn’t move. All Luffy did was laugh. It was around sunset, the skies painted hues of pinks and purple with the moon threatening to take over the sky. To (Y/n), there was nothing special that’s going to happen now. She doesn’t know that there’s going to be a firework show tonight, so as far as she knows is that the 2 of them are waiting for Ace and Sabo to arrive so they can go home. Because she already spent most of the day with Luffy, she might as well go home with them and try to make up for the time she didn’t spend with Ace.

“Jeez, we finally caught up with you 2.” Sabo’s voice called out, as he and Ace approached the 2. Both Luffy and (Y/n) perked up when they heard his voice and as soon as (Y/n)'s eyes landed on Ace, she jumped up from her seat and joined him at his side.

“Ace! Your finally back.” (Y/n) cheered while she easily and quickly slipped her hand into his, sending chills down each of their spines. The blush that was missing from Ace’s face had now reappeared as he looked down at his supposed to be date. Sabo scoffed at the 2 of them and looked back down at Luffy.

“You didn’t drag (Y/n) on every ride, did you?”

“Shishishi, nope...” Luffy shook his head, letting Sabo release a relieved sigh but he was quick to suck it back in when Luffy spoke up again, “Some rides were closed and had too long of a line.”

“Thank god for those. Luffy was trying to kill me. We went on like ever ride.” (Y/n) sighed, looking over at Sabo before looking back up at Ace again, “And I can’t believe I thought you were bad. Luffy made me go on every ride without a break.”

“I almost feel bad for you but I told you how much of a handful he was.” Ace laughed. It was nice to finally see her again after a long day of having to chase after her.

“Almost?! Aww, Ace you're so mean.” (Y/n) playfully pouted. Sabo scoffed again as Luffy stood up and join him by his side. Sabo finally felt at ease, Ace was finally able to go back to the date he and (Y/n) were supposed to go on, even if it can only last for one more hour.

“Well seeing how you were supposed to come here with Ace only. I’ll take Luffy and leave the 2 of you alone.” Sabo quickly noticed the relieved look on (Y/n)'s face and could guess for 2 reasons why: One so she can actually enjoy her date with Ace and two, so she can get a break from Luffy. Luffy laughed once again and waved bye to Ace and (Y/n), they finally took off leaving the 2 alone after an extremely long day. As if in sync, Ace and (Y/n) both let out a sigh and looked at each other, and laughed. It was no lie that the 2 of them were finally happy to be alone with each other again, give or take the crowd around them.

“Well, I can proudly say I officially met the whole ASL trio.” (Y/n) chuckled as the 2 of them began to walk hand and hand to the lake that sat in the middle of the park.

“Heh, I did tell you Luffy was a handful. Although I probably wouldn’t make the 2 of you get to know each other at an amusement park.” Ace added, smiling down at (Y/n), “I bet you're pretty tired.”

“Ugh, Ace, that’s an understatement. I feel like I can sleep for days.” (Y/n) said as the 2 of them approached the lake. Ace scoffed at her comment, but then fell silent. All he did was looked down at (Y/n) who began to kick pieces of popcorn on the floor into the lake for the ducks to eat. He really wanted this day to be perfect yet Luffy seemed to come and interrupted that. It was so not how they thought the day would go. The 2 of them had hardly spent any time together, Ace just spent the day talking to Sabo about (Y/n) and tell him every reason why he fell in love. At least he was lucky enough to be with (Y/n) right before the fireworks and if all goes well this time, right before the fireworks Ace should confess his feelings.

“Sorry that Sabo and Luffy showed up. I didn’t know they were gonna be coming today.” Ace started drawing (Y/n)'s attention up to him. She took a moment to look up at him even if its dark outside, (Y/n) could still see the cute freckles that covered his face. Before any moment longer; not wanting to make Ace feel uncomfortable and shrugged her shoulders and smiled,

“Yeah, It was unexpected but I-”

“They ruined our dated.” Ace cut off (Y/n) as he hung his head low in guilt and frustration. It was already hard enough to figure out his feelings for her and now it’s just as hard to just ask her out. (Y/n) could completely understand how he feels, she was also so looking forward to his date but even if it was interrupted by Luffy and Sabo it still considered a date, just not a perfect one.

“They didn’t ruin anything.” (Y/n) scoffed, squeezing Ace’s hand pulling his attention over to her.

“It was supposed to be a date. With just me and you and yet-”

“-and yet, your brothers tagged along. There nothing wrong with that. We still rode some rides together, took pictures together, ate together, and did other couple-y stuff together. Your brothers just happened to be here.” (Y/n) explained as she recalled all the times the 4 of them did meet up with each other. Ace’s face seemed to soften a bit after hearing her explanation, “And plus, I don’t know about you but I think I'm finally ready to be apart of your crazy family. After the hell your brother put me through I better be apart of the family.”

That’s when Ace froze. He didn’t know what to do or what to even say. All he could do was repeat her, “...Apart of my.. family??”

“Well of course,” (Y/n) gave a firm nodded as she looked up into Ace’s eyes. As he stared right back down at her, he noticed there was a look of determination in them. It almost reminded him of the determination he had of making this date perfect, but that had to just be wishful thinking. (Y/n) couldn’t possibly know the plan behind the date. Seems like he was wrong, “All that’s left to do is confess to me, right? So whenever your ready Ace, I’ll give you my answer.”

“You...know? How’d you know??” Ace began to panic now. The plan was supposed to be kept secret and yet she seems to know all about it. He knows for a fact that Marco and Thatch didn’t tell her, they hardly even know her and as far as he knows, she was pretty good at keeping his feelings to himself, so how does (Y/n) know. She giggled as she inched closer to Ace, slowly closing the gap between them. Ace didn’t even notice, he was panicking too much.

“Ya’know Luffy doesn’t have a quiet mouth. Soooo, he ended up telling me. Well, he told me something along the lines. I figured out the rest.” (Y/n) smiled.

“Luffy told you?? God, he so stupid. How does he even know, I don’t remember even telling him anything about it. I’m mean I think I brought it up with Sabo but the only people who knew about it was-” Ace began to ramble on as the heat of embarrassment rushed through his body. He, no doubt, felt embarrassed. Luffy practically told (Y/n) that Ace like her. One more thing that Luffy did to ruin the day. Ace would’ve probably rambled on for a while too, not that (Y/n) didn’t minded. It was cute seeing Ace freak out and see the blush that covered his freckled cheeks, but if (Y/n) didn’t shut him up they would’ve gone nowhere. So while she wanted Ace to be the one to confess, it looks like (Y/n)'s just gonna have to step up for this one. (Y/n) doesn’t know what came over her when she thought of this idea but she has seen it happen in a lot of romcoms so why not try it in real life. Standing up on her tippy-toes, she closed the gap in-between them and connect their lips. Ace definitely froze now. This date is not going how he planned at all. The one he asked out is the one kissing him now.

(Y/n) had only planned to kiss Ace quickly and sweetly; a small peck on the lips to shut him up but things didn’t end up going that way Unknowingly to (Y/n) the fireworks began to go off right in the middle of their kiss. Gasping, her mouth slightly opened for just a moment and Ace was quick to take advantage of that. There wasn’t a lot he could control about this date but he knows that he can easily take control of this kiss. Now he’s taking full advantage of (Y/n). He knows that she’s hardly kissed anyone before so she’s inexperienced. He slipped his tongue into her mouth and began to dance around her mouth, taking his time and enjoying the feeling. (Y/n) face lit up in at least 10 different shades of red, this was definitely now how she imagined the kiss going but she enjoyed it. Her hands found the back of his neck while his hands found her waist. By now, there was no extra space between the 2. A small groan left Ace’s lips as the 2 of them continued to kiss. Fireworks continued to light up the sky, but the 2 of them didn’t even care. Ace probably could’ve kept the kiss going but after feeling a soft tug from (Y/n) on his shirt, he finally broke the kiss. As he leaned back he studied (Y/n)'s face. With the help of the bright flashes of light that illumined the sky, he could see the huge blush that covered her whole face: her cheeks, ears, and even neck. It was an amazing sight to see, especially after all the times (Y/n) had made Ace blush. He easily thought of it as payback, and seeing how he left her speechless he felt satisfied.

“I guess I don’t have to give you an answer anymore, do I?” Ace smirked as his strong arm continued to keep a tight hold around her waist. It still took (Y/n) a moment to regain her composer, the kiss was so unexpected and...amazing. There was no doubt that the feeling between the 2 is very much mutual.

“I...uh..A...a-after that kiss, if you don’t ask me to be your girlfriend now I might as well walk out of here empty-handed.” (Y/n) also kept her hands around her neck not wanting to let go of the warm body. Ace scoffed at her comment. Although the day didn’t go as plan at all, at least Ace was able to confess and not lose (Y/n). It filled him with so much indescribable happiness, he was going to be smiling for weeks. He closed the gap one last time, but this time with a tight hug. As he snuggled his face into the side of (Y/n)'s neck, she giggled feeling his black hair tickle her neck, “Ya’know, I guess we do owe it to Luffy. I mean, if he didn’t tell me then I wouldn’t have confessed either.”

“You? Confessed?”

“Mm-hm. I can’t tell you how long I’ve liked you. But I guess it was the same as you. I was scared to ruin what we already had.” (Y/n) explained as she nuzzled the nose into his hair as if she was trying to hide. Ace’s eyes widen at her explanation, turns out he hardly knows his best friend, “But, we really do have to make sure to thank Luffy.”

“I’ll make sure to beat him up later.” Ace muttered causing (Y/n) to erupt in laugher. Although, (Y/n) thought Ace was joking around Ace knows for a fact that he will beat him up for ruining their date, but he must give him credit at least. Even though Luffy didn’t mean to do anything, he ended up making this the best day ever.

[life-rewritten]

1000 Stars Ep 1-6; Tian and the Consequences of past mistakes.

This has been long coming. I’ve just been very weirdly conflicted with writing about this show because I tend to find speaking about it for hours more appropriate. But because I didn’t have time to create a video focused on this topic, I decided to write it out the way I know how. First of all this has been just an insane experience, this show is... well how  can I describe it?  It’s incredible, and not like the oh this is really good incredible, I mean like it’s mind blowing how outstanding this show is, the fact that this show is the first Thai bl show of 2021 that was original is blowing my freaking mind, it’s put a standard to everything else, it’s standard is excellence, there is no mistake, no errors, no issues with this show unless you’re someone who loves to find something wrong about something. This  show is so inspirational, representative, deep, and important in this genre. First of all it’s a unique type of storyline, it has meta everywhere, it’s incredibly filled with dimensional characters that are so human and real and make mistakes but learn and grow, and it has an incredible realistic love story brewing. Like what else can you say about this show? The cinematography? Excellent. The directing. Even more great. The acting; So incredible. Everyone who has joined to make this show mean something, mean something to me. Because this show is now my hiding place, an escape from the realities of the world, and the grim aspects of life, a show that makes me learn about the value of life, the importance of love, and just the inspiration of finding meaning to who you are and why you should be here. This show is so incredibly written and planned with so much effort, direction and energy. If GMMTV can keep on with this energy with all their other BLS this year is going to the biggest, greatest breakthrough for this genre. This show makes my Fridays. And I wanted to first start with that because it’s hard to write thoughts about this show, because there’s so much to flesh out and explain, every scene, every dialogue, every thing means something to the overall story brewing, to the subtext hidden, to the themes and messages the show is trying to teach. Everything can be explained. And I think that’s so incredible.

 So what do we have in this essay then, we have a focus on Tian, and his actions from Ep 1-6, it’s incredible how our little sunshine is finally going through self discovery and finding who he’s meant to be, also it’s just amazing to see him find his soulmate through all of this; who just means so much to him and influences all of his greatest things in life. However this show toes between the line of a really sweet love story, with some humour, some laughter, some cheesiness and flirts but also a darker, sadder and realistic portrayal of some issues in the world, and also some parts of the human psyche that represents or relates to us in some way. Whether this show is about how easily depression can make us fall into this well of self hate, and self destruction, or make us forget the value of the people around us and the value of even our selves, or this show is a message and warning to consequences of recklessness, corruption and selfishness, this show has so much to say and show whilst still presenting it in a format that’s a BL; that’s still hopeful and beautiful and sweet. And how Backaof has gone and done this is incredible to me. This essay is going to be breaking down each of the hints and clues that point to the serious aspects of the show, what are we to expect? Why is this a repeated theme in the show, what does it mean for our characters, what does it mean for us? So Let’s break down the foreshadowings and clues to  the plot twists in the show that’s upcoming and how Backaof has laid a very meta plan for each of these clues to take place.

 Tian and The Consequences of The Past

Mostly episode 5 really is the episode where these clues are hidden in subtext. So much is troubling immediately we begin the episode. We start of with a realisation that we’re being bamboozled, the show is hiding information from us, it’s twisting our perspectives on certain storylines and there’s still truths that we need to unveil to piece together. The most important connection of this story is the demise and removal of Torfun. In fact her accident is the catalyst that causes this story to begin, she’s a guide to Tian to lead him to this new renewal of life, and purpose but also she’s the family and friend to many people who have been touched by her presence, she’s also the person connected to our love interest. In so many ways her demise means a lot to the plot of the story. And it’s shocking to think that there could be more to it. It’s not just this plot that is a convenience to the story, it means more, it’s connected to every single thread of the plot, connected to the love story brewing, because it’s her heart that’s being confused at first with Tian’s feelings, it’s her presence that’s being emphasised on with Tian’s guilt of replacing her, it’s her words that’s being valued by Tian to want to be better and do more for himself, but it’s her mystery that keeps us all on edge including Tian who is slowly unveiling memories that he doesn’t want to accept. It seems like deep down Tian knows something is of about Torfun’s accident, it’s like he can’t rest, he can’t help shake when he questions his flashbacks, his memories, there’s this desperate need for him to attempt to make it up to her, to ensure she’s happy and rested with her wishes coming through, it’s such a desperate need it drives him to self sacrificial methods, he completely leaves his own needs and care for her goal to be realised. 

And it is sweet but Tian is also someone who is incredibly hurt, and destructive, he’s been so pushed into this mindset of thinking he’s not worth it, his life is not worth it, his presence is not worth it. For so long he has been shackled by the idea of deth (wrong spelling on purpose) following him all around, one day he was meant to leave the world, unexpectedly, no hopes, no dreams, no freedom from this and so he became numb to this premise of life, of value, of self care. Tian is incredibly reckless and self destructive because he lost the meaning of why he should be self protective and self loving. And it breaks my heart everytime we have to relive or even remember his state of mind in the past episodes from 1-4. Now this begins to change once he settles and realises he has meaning, and he’s needed and he’s worthy. It starts to change when he realises he wants to be protected by the man he loves, it starts to change when he’s found something to protect, his new family, friends and lover. It starts to change when he also wants to make a difference and be of importance. So Tian is finally going through this self discovery of Purpose, Love and Happiness, which are all connected to this meaning of life, that he wanted to uncover when he read Torfun’s diary at first. But as much as he is on this path, he still has remnants of his mistakes and his past mindsets that prevent him from moving forward, it eats him up with guilt, it paralyses him with fear that one day he could lose it all, but also it makes him run into the claws of danger and deth time and time again. So Episode 5 really is a map of all the dangers that Tian has to get through, connected to his own faults, flaws and development needed to be unpacked to get to his destiny/fate with Pupha. These worries and foreshadowings show a grueling yet important journey to overcome, he needs to overcome his self doubt, his self hate, his numbness to life and his guilt and shame of the past. So Let’s analyse and break down these clues.

Consequences of Recklessness

Episode 5 starts with immediately a shift, it’s a plot twist to see that Tian didn’t faint. It’s odd for me to be watching this scene in the beginning and screaming Faint please faint, why isn’t he fainting. Immediately he stands up assures Tul he’ll be okay and then proceeds to discuss about his car as his baby and pride, you know it’s a problem. The emphasis of Tul feeling uneasy brings up this worry that Tian is about to attract trouble through his lack of care for himself, and his lack of value for others and things connected to him. This is the moment we’re hit with the wave of realisation that Tian may have to deal with the consequences of his recklessness, and that means that this event is connected to the source of everything the one thing we still have questions about; Torfun and her accident. And it’s a terrifying lesson don’t get me wrong, but it’s like Tian to be reckless, he’s reckless about everything, his life, his heart, his self, he’s just constantly putting himself at risk. 

Immediately he opens his mouth and pushes for an illegal car race, we know there’s going to be consequences, this is connected to how powerful he is, (they can close the road and cover up the truth), this is connected to how corrupted his background is as we’ve seen in episode 1, how little they value others for themselves, it’s connected to the ease and way he can be privileged and thrive of chaos and get unscathed whilst people like Torfun end up victims used and forgotten. Now I’m not saying Tian is the actual person who took Torfun’s life, although he does end up in possession of her heart, he doesn’t drive and I do believe he wasn’t the one in the car, maybe in the passenger seat next to the driver, or maybe hitting another car from behind that ran into her, or Tul managing to get him out of that situation before he could be the one who caused it. But it’s still his words, his actions that lead to this accident, and that’s a terrifying fact both he and the audience has to deal with.  And this is connected of the value of life and people and how this can be lost with recklessness, and corruption  and selfishness. 

Consequences of Evasion of the Truth

Tian literally had to evade and run away from this world to go to the village to find the real meaning but it doesn’t erase his past, he has to deal with that, and I do think he will think he’s the one who is the person at fault mostly because he’s starting to get flashbacks of that event, he knows he’s hiding a secret and It’s more than just the fact that Torfun gave him his heart, it’s because deep down he’s scared he was involved in that in a different way. And this leads to Pupha and his secrets, the way he was actively trying to conceal the truth in episode 5, because of his fear of losing it all, and hurting the person he loves. The fact he’s hiding secrets means that those secrets will come to light and we do see an example of this a bit less painful when Longtae stumbles on Torfun’s diary, this is still going to be happening because Pupha still needs to know the truth and the way Tian has covered up the secrets and truth for so long means there’s consequences to hiding the truth. 

This is also another theme of the show, connected to the fact that Torfun’s accident is being covered up as just that, connected to the fact that maybe Tian’s father and mother tried so hard to evade the truth and move on and pretend nothing happened, by selling the car and forcing Tian to not think about looking for her. That’s why it’s worrying because the parents are obstacles and in my opinion are also one of the hints episode 5 leaves for us the audience to notice. Already it’s uncommon to hear that Tian’s mum isn’t as worried about him in the village, when her love for him in episode 1 is suffocating and protective, she won’t be okay with his choice to be reckless, to push his heart, to come to a place with distance, and so it’s a red flag.

Consequences of Corruption and Power

It’s a warning, his parents are connected to a plot twist, they’re going to be an obstacle because they represent right now Corruption and Power. And the consequences of corruption and power removing the value of life is also shown in episode 6 when we see our villain Sakda. In fact it’s because Tian tries to evade Corruption that we see the value of all the villagers earnings, work, life, burn so cruelly at the end. Sakda’s cruelty has no bounds, he doesn’t take the people seriously; he sees them as liabilities, obstacles, unimportant, he doesn’t value them just like Torfun was also unvalued by her aunt because of money/recklessness and also probably by Tian’s family because of corruption and power. It’s all about the darkness of privilege; the very lesson Tian is learning about and also growing away from. Episode 1 shows the stain of corruption in Tian’s life, how it suffocates him and makes him feel unsafe and unhappy in his own home, how it shrouds him in the dark compared to Torfun who found light in Pu Phan Dao. And that wine stain on his chest that carves the same length and shape as his scar is a reminder that he’s been stained and affected by that Corruption. And that’s why he tries to escape and start anew. But there are consequences and lessons of forgiveness he needs to learn, a way to relearn about his own meaning and value but also a way forgive himself and Torfun to find peace with the truth unfolded. Okay so a bit dark but this is a theme, the way corruption and the rich and power don’t care about the value of life, even in Pu Phan dao, Phupha is tagged with protecting the home, the trees, the forest because they have value, but the rich come and poach and cut down the source for the people, they misuse and scam the people because they don’t know or treat what they do as valuable. That’s why Tian as he learns about value finds a way to help the villagers regain the value of their tea leaves and more, he adds innovation and a creativity to everything to make the villagers be strong enough to know their worth and yet the rich and the corrupt manage to burn it all down in episode 6. The theme is recurring; the question is how do we come out of it with forgiveness, peace and understanding.

 Consequences of Carelessness

I can talk about this theme and the value of life linked to this show for ever. But there’s more shown in episode 6 that hints at the worrying obstacles we still have to face. There’s Social media mentioned, Tian repeatedly warns Tul to not take a photo of him, he lies to Nam about his facebook and he finds Torfun through facebook in episode 1. He’s so desperate to hide his past and his truth that maybe that’s how some of the truth will be unveiled. Social media can be easily tracked if a person has it out for him, but also Tul takes a picture with him that holds such a warning to it, it just seems important to notice as well. Because it could be Sakda who unveils it but he’s also connected to so much more. 

His power also puts Phupha at risk, because Phupha is the one tasked with preventing these type of influences hurting the village. Phupha’s job requires his life to be at risk for the value of others, the people he deems family, and the place he deems home so his job is going to also lead to him being at odds with Sakda and his minions. Especially since we have seen how violent they can get, and in episode 1 we are shown a bunch of people who are currently a danger to the forest with one escaping and boss connected to them. That’s Sakda. So if Phupha has to stop Sakda his life may be in danger as he risks it for the village but also mostly Tian who is the target of them now. 

Again that’s the consequences of Tian’s recklessness because even though it was good for him to defend the village and do what’s right, he was warned repeatedly what it could bring. And it brings Phupha’s life in danger. Especially the foreshadowing with him running in episode 6 to bring out a symbol of Phupha’s presence in his life. His actions have unfortunately led to the endangerment of the one person he wants to protect more than himself. The one person who truly shows him the value of life. That’s why episode 5 jokinly repeats also warningly that Tian is a trouble magnet, it’s a joke because it seems him being reckless and attracted to trouble is not important because with his status and privilege he can come out unscathed, however it can lead to catalysts of drama and more pain in the future. Hence again the consequence of recklessness. Tian acts before he thinks, it’s a good and bad quality, first it leads to him being brave, being determined, being creative with how he tackles solutions, it comes to him immediately at the same time packed with his self destructive mindset, at times it leads to him causing trouble and harm. This is why I say another theme to his self acceptance journey is forgiveness this is not just him learning about the best things in life, it’s also about him embracing the mistakes of his past. Because it’s only if he learns, will he become his best self, the one that loves everything about himself, and the one that can move forward and heal past scars. Also because I’m sure people are like what about Torfun our victim essentially, I think Torfun is definitely making Tian also feel this uneasiness and determination to unfold the truth for peace, she gives him permission in the episode 1 for him to take over her heart, to take care of Pupha but probably also to take care of the village. I think she’s at peace but you know we’ll see if the show mentions her again in a different manner.

Consequences of Insecurity

But this brings us to the next obstacle mentioned in Episode 5: Torfun vs Tian. Head vs Heart. Especially also connected to Phupha. From episode 3-6, Pupha and Tian have given their hearts to each other, in subtext it’s really obvious they both know how they feel however it’s always distracted by insecurities, logic, and questions in their minds. There’s a lot in their heads they have to deal with that makes it hard for them to confess. Although Tian is basically still willing to fight over those thoughts and choose him and show him he’s open. This is why I don’t think Tian fully thinks it’s him behind Torfun’s incident, mostly because if he truly thought he was behind the car he won’t let Phupha near him. He won’t forgive himself to even let love in. So I think he has inklings something is not right but he pushes down and isn’t fully aware of what happened that night. But apart from those worries, there’s more things he and Pupha deal with that is hinted in episode 5 and we see is preventing both of them  just coming out and saying what they feel.

The things in Pupha’s head vs heart

The first worry which he kind of removes in episode 6 is distance. Phupha says it in episode 5, he doesn’t want to be the reason for why Tian stays in the village and not return back for his degree in college. He doesn’t want to hold Tian back though he’s worried that him returning means he won’t come back to the village. Infact Tian returning home has been Pupha’s biggest fear since he first met him, it’s why he teased him harshly each time he saw him pre ep 3, because he didn’t want him to leave so he always angered him and tested to see how determined he wanted to stay. Because of this looming distance/long distance relationship that could occur in the future, Pupha shies away with his other insecurities and prevents himself from confessing rather keeping their relationship in this unknown stage than facing the reality of what they are. He doesn’t want to get in the way of Tian’s potential, it’s obvious Tian is finding Purpose in the village as a teacher and helper but for Pupha where people of the village dream of going to the city to get their dreams, and live a better comfortable life it’s better for Tian who’s frail, and smart to go back and unveil his potential by staying in college for however long he has to.

 But also Pupha notices Tian is secretive. This is why although it seems Tian is open to him and obviously flirting and hinting at a way to elevate their status, Pupha shies away because he has insecurities, one he still doesn’t trust how Tian sees him, there’s this idea of him being different to Tian because of age, personality, and maybe even sexuality, and he worries about all of that, what if Tian is more matched with others his age, and finds more happiness and comfort with people who speak like him and act like him, what if Tian hates strict and moody people, what if Tian isn’t queer? These are the insecurities he battles with in his head even though his heart thinks Tian may reciprocate.

The things in Tian’s head vs heart

And we know the big one for Tian is Torfun. She’s Pupha’s prized, valuable connection, someone who really meant the world to him, someone he and the village is struggling to let go of. Tian feels like an impostor holding her heart, it fills him with guilt, shame, worry about him not being worthy enough to replace her, but also to help them deal with her demise. And For Pupha especially who doesn’t have a lot of family members; who cherishes every single thing as like the most important valuable thing, he doesn’t want him to be hurt with that realisation. He doesn’t want him to compare Tian with Torfun, he doesn’t want to always see the hurt in his eyes when he looks at Tian and misses her.  

It’s also the fact he’s been lying for so long, and so that worries him even more as days go by, because he lied (as his subconscious of Pupha told him in the dream In episode 4) it makes it worse, he should have just told them immediately to take away the betrayal and the hurt. So this is all also in his head. Before he accepted his sexuality he also questioned if it was her who loved Pupha not him. Because sometimes people say things to him that makes him feel again like she’s there controlling him, or changing him to become like her etc. It’s hard for him to not think there might be a chance he likes Pupha because it’s her not him. However the most important one is the guilt of holding her heart, of basically stealing her life, he basically took the guy she loves, the job she loves, the place she loves and replaced her. So he’s not really particularly comfortable with that truth; in fact this is the reason why he’s desperate to make her wish her come through to give her some sort of validation and make her still have meaning. To also ask for her forgiveness for being the one who took her heart. That’s why I think if he’s any way close to her demise as in the accident the guilt and determination to run to the cliff and just beg her for forgiveness is even more desperate and intense. That’s what I’m dreading. Because the journey to the cliff isn’t an easy one, and if Tian desperate and reckless runs away to go make it happen what happens to his already overworked heart?

Consequences of Deth

And that’s the last thing we really have to overcome in the show, the closeness and link to deth both our characters have, like it’s insane, Phupha’s life is constantly in danger, and episode 5 reminds us of the violence of people like Sakda he has to face. Meanwhile Tian is just close to it because of a chance of his rejection, luckily episode 6 reintroduces his medicine and now Nam knows the truth, his heart may finally be taken care of well, but there’s still a chance that he’s pushed it too far, there’s still a connection to his numbness of life, and his self destructive way he sees himself when he’s filled with guilt and pain. So there’s still this tangle with this, which is worrying as we saw in episode 5, his heart is pushed so many times over the limit and in episode 6 even more when he runs into the fire forgoing his own safety yet again. So that is important to note. However I think this is just probably going to be more of a warning for Pupha though Tian’s life is also endangered by Sakda since he’s a target so it’s both, they’re both again in danger of sacrificing themselves to help the other. This doesn’t mean a sad ending I don’t even worry about that, but it’s an obstacle, it’s a consequence of the themes of the show, and another lesson for Tian to learn and grow from.

The themes of Identity, Self love, Purpose and Renewal of the meaning of life all are lessons that Mr Tian needs to learn as he discovers himself through the show. However Tian’s past doesn’t just disappear as we see mechanisms and mindsets constructed from his past environment, situations and hurts can show up as consequences, but this doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world for our couple, in fact it’s opposite, it’s a healing message of embracing your past and healing your scars, and becoming a better person knowing you’re still worth everything good despite your mistakes if you’re willing to grow and change. Knowing actions have consequences but you have a chance to learn from them and grow. It’s a self acceptance and self-forgiving journey, to embracing your fate and finding the meaning of life again. So yes in this show there’s a reason for why the characters act the way they do, there’s a reason why Tian constantly puts himself in harms way, a reason for why Pupha is the opposite and is strict and filled with order to prevent recklessness, to protect the value of people, life and more. Both Tian and Pupha come into each other’s lives to offer perspective, to help each other grow, with making Pupha embrace vulnerability and weakness of himself, and to make Tian embrace meaning of life and purpose and love; all the things he thought he had lost. So yeh Episode 5 was a rollercoaster, I kept on smiling but then worrying each time below the surface another clue popped up showing we still have a lot of obstacles to deal with. But if we don’t have these obstacles then these real life messages and call outs won’t matter, we need to see the price of privilege, we need to see the consequence of recklessness, the selfishness of corruption and how it can bring  harm to others, we need to know why it’s important to value your self, and know your truth, and fall in love, So we’ll be fine, this show is incredible already and it deals with everything well. No matter what theories we have Backaof has a full map for how everything ties together in his head, how Tian deals with his guilt, how he confronts his parents, how he chooses Pupha overall, we’ll see it all unfold. It’d be a journey, sometimes painful but we���ll come out smiling. Anyway here’s the analysis of the consequences and dangers in the show. Let’s discuss? What are your theories? How do you feel about the show? Let me know. Ciao.

[jesus-christ-super-ace]

Self indulgent Haikyuu x debate!reader hcs because debate season is over and i suddenly have nothing to do

A/n: Idk the type of debate that they do in Japan so I'm gonna use the PF debate structure. (I heard about parlament style debate in Korea, I watched a video and it scared the fuck out of me) Also I don't know how to do the whole read more thing on mobile tumblr so ✨yikes✨

Characters: Hinata, Sugawara,

Warnings: Swearing, caps, mentions of death

Hinata

He has no idea what debate is, his thoughts only consists of volleyball and meat so when you bring up being on the debate team to him he's just kinda "👁👄👁 what's debate like?"

Since debate is hard to explain you decide to bring him along to one of your debate practices to watch.

A quick explanation of public forum (pf) debate: two teams of two take a pro and con stance on a resolution. (Example: Resolved: Sugawara is not the mom friend) Debaters work in pairs to make a pro and con case that they will present at their debate, for PF they usually have a month to prep their case. The case will usually be written in the style of an essay and will be read out as a speech to begin the debate. Debaters work in pairs so there's a speaker one and speaker two. Speaker one is in charge of laying out the topic and what grounds the team wins the debate on, and speaker two dishes out most of the arguments against the other sides. (Kind of like speaker one is defense while speaker two is offense) Basically pro gives their opening speech, con gives their opening speech, and the they ask each other questions and try to degrade the other side's case. Then the speaker twos give speeches on why their speaker one did better, then they butt heads. After that comes the speaker ones saying why they won, and finally comes the ultimate showdown, the final crossfire. The final crossfire is essentially just a big cat fight where we yell each other about morals. (Sorry Amanda but murder is worse than kidnapping 🙄) Then the speaker twos give a speech about why they're better. Your fate relies on the judge who has no idea what they're doing.

Did you get all of that? You probably didn't. TLDR: Four children scream about why their moral compass is better for about one hour.

You try to explain it to Hinata in volleyball terms and it's ✨hard✨

"Okay so the speaker one is kinda like the setter, they set up the attack on the other side by controlling the grounds that they win on-"

"But controlling the grounds is what Noya does-"

"Hinata it's a metaphor"

"What's a metaphor?"

😃 why

So you decide to bring him to your practice debates, during a normal debate you move around from classroom to classroom debating other kids from other schools carrying your case in a big ass box in stuffy casual formal wear at like 8 in the morning.

Practice debates are a lot chiller and there's a lot less yelling.

You were judging debates that day while the gym was having an inspection so he tagged along with you to watch the debates. He kinda gets lost after the con speech and you're like "yeah it can be like that sometimes".

He admires you for being able to do the whole debate thing (and win)

Since the winners of any debate comp are decided by judges (who usually have no experience) most teams value process over result. Even if you debate better they can still pick the other team because of a dumb reason like them liking the other team's shirt.

After every debate he takes you out to get snacks at Ukai's store, and he lets you rant about whatever unfair judge caused you to loose.

"oKAY BUT LIKE I TOTALLY WON, THE OTHER TEAM DIDN'T EVEN HAVE THEIR CASE TOGETHER" he just kinda smiles and nods, he doesn't get your debate terms but he still hypes you up

He makes sure to text you before he sleeps reminding you to not stay up too late researching your case.

Smth like 'i'm going to bed now :) pls don't stay up too late' smh hypocrite, he probably stays up till like 3 thinking abt becoming the tiny giant

One time your debate clothes (black dress pants, white dress shirt, blazer) got dirty and so did your school uniform so he gave you his clothes. He's kinda small so it's a tight fit but it works.

HE BRAGS ABOUT YOU TO ANYONE AND EVERYONE

"hEy look at my super smart s/o who does dEBATE!"

"we know y/n does debate"

Best ray of sunshine 🥺

Suga

ohohoho,,, im a certified suga simp

Now we all know that Suga is pretty smart, he's not a super genius or anything but he's got good grades and he can probably manage his time.

Which means that he's good at helping your research and revise your case. Whenever you can't come up with any contentions he's always there to help you come up with some.

"Kōshi what're the benefits of the urbanization of West Africa?" (I can't find anything on the debate topics in Japan so I'm using stuff from my previous debates)

"Lessening of poverty, standards of health can be raised, and it benefits the world."

HES PERFECT OK

He's probably even joined you for a debate once when your partner couldn't make it to the competition, he makes a pretty good speaker one but he's definitely a speaker two.

His framework for every case is just 🤌🤌🤌

Research dates with him are just 🥺

You guys are sprawled out on his bed just scrolling through resources trying to put together a case.

You go to all of his games and he goes to support you during your debates. Before every speech you give he sends you a small thumbs up to boost your spirits.

He's super observant and can tell when the judge is full of shit.

Tbh if the other team wins because the judge was stupid even though you

He's too good for us smh

Yachi

PLS

YACHI I LOVE HER

okokok

here's the thing with yachi, she's great at writing cases and she'd honestly be a good asset to the team however,,,

she can't do public speaking for shit

so she cheers you on from the sidelines and helps you out with your case

she can't really do public speaking herself because of her nerves but she knows how to convince an audience so she lets you practice her speeches

she once volunteered to help the team for a mock debate by subbing in for someone who couldn't make practice that day due to getting sick, she got scared during her speech and panicked.

weekly study dates are a must, whether it be for debate or just school in general weekly study dates at a local café or at a library

she brought hinata and yams to watch you debate once and now they're both scared of you (look final crossfire is scary as hell)

i think she'd be a (slightly less than) decent cook bUT she's good at baking, so she always offers to stop by before practice to drop off snacks

the team loves her and half of them join the yachi protection squad (started by noya and tanaka probably)

im just v 🥺🥺🥺 rn lmao

a/n,,, lmao i havent written in a while, if u need a better explanation of how debate works then feel free to ask !

[apsarrow]

i am interested in the dabi redemption essay 👁👁

Okay, so I wanna preface this with this is all just my opinion based on my own experiences and interpretation of his character, just, so, you know people don't come after me for having opinions.

I am putting it under a read-more because it's very long!

Essentially my interpretation of his character is that he is someone who has been abused and neglected a lot as a kid. He was told he would be a great pro-hero, he had it drilled into him so much that he took it became his sole goal in life which is very much understandable because kids are easily influenced. As far as I can tell, he was never presented with any other hobbies and so, never developed any other interests. Having his goal crushed at a such a young age - which is understandable because he was hurting himself, it's not a realistic goal but a kid that young is not gonna understand without having it explained properly, which it wasn't - would be a very traumatic experience and would result in a lack of identity. I think To(u)ya (sp???) was a teenager when this happened so the development of his own identity is pretty crucial at that stage of development and a lack of any sort of identity can be pretty harmful. Also, this is a very long analysis of his early childhood but I promise it's relevant so just hold on, please.

Anyways, as I see it, he really just wanted to prove himself to his dad and his dad never explained why it wasn't possible in a way that he would understand. I believe his parents encouraged him to make friends but really they should have encouraged to take part in other hobbies and activities way earlier whilst he was doing all his training, regardless of any injury or non-injury. It's simply not healthy to present a young child with one purpose, encourage them to pursue it and ignore any other parts of life, and then expect them to just be immediately able to adjust to not being able to pursue the one purpose they were given.

So, when something that traumatising happens, kids will have many different reactions, and you can see it in all the Todoroki children. Some will repress it and have to deal with it later in life (Shoto), some will try to fix it and make things better (Fuyumi), some will be rightfully upset about it (Natsuo), and some will be outright angry and will lash out at others. All are equally valid responses to a traumatic experiences but that does not make it okay to hurt other innocent people. So, this is where the redemption comes into it. Touya has hurt (and murdered) many innocent people as a way of coping with these traumatic experiences. He turned on the world and told the world it wasn't good enough (which it's not, hero society is a shitshow but that's a whole other essay) and he made everything the world's problem. Frankly, I don't blame him for doing this because he was never given the type of support that would allow him to develop healthy coping mechanisms. It's still not okay to do this but it's not really his fault because from my perspective, he's just kinda figuring it out on his own. This is something that happens a lot in real life. People are abused, they are not supported by people around them or are in fact completely isolated as a result of the abuse, they lash out and hurt people. Often, people will realise later in life that this is not good for them and they will seek out therapy and try to develop healthier behaviours.

Now, when you're surrounded by other victims who view the world the same way that you do, it can be hard to recognise your own faults because your actions are constantly being validated. I know I said earlier his response was valid so now it's time for some clarity - his feelings are valid, not his actions but the LOV essentially validate his actions because they're doing the exact same thing. They are victims of abuse or neglect in various forms and they are lashing out at the world and they are finding small successes which kind of reinforces this idea that this is the right path to take and it's all okay. If your shitty actions are being validated constantly, you're never gonna reach that point where you realise you're actually hurting a lot of people and that's not okay and you're never going to try to get help or improve on anything.

So, like I said before, this is something that happens in real life. People do get abused in real life and some people have this reaction. Sure, they're not gonna go out and murder people but they will hurt friends and family. This is a thing that happens. And I think redemption for Touya would be most meaningful to those people who have been abused and do relate strongly to his character. The message would be that it is not your fault that you were abused, you are not inherently a bad person for lashing out you but you cannot keep hurting others. Touya realising this might even encourage people who do have this mindset to seek help and improve their own lives. And I also think that, if done properly with a scene where Touya explicitly does not forgive his dad yet still becomes a better person, it would be a good example of how you do not have to forgive your abuser for the pain that they have caused you but again, you absolutely cannot hurt innocent people just because you are in pain.

Ultimately, I think it would be an incredibly uplifting story about overcoming abuse and neglect, and the ways in which you can be a better person despite your past.

BUT, I also think it would have to be incredibly well-written because as it stands, Touya is not in a place to do this right now. As far as I can see, he still does not have any other hobbies or interests. His purpose simply shifted from being a hero to hurting the person that hurt him. He needs hobbies and interests and a goal that doesn't revolve around hurting others before he can start to make any sort of steps towards redemption. And if I'm being totally honest, I don't think it's going to happen. I'd like to see it but I don't think there's enough time left in the story (obviously I don't know how long is actually left of the story, I'm mostly just guessing here) for all the steps that need to be taken in order for him to be fully redeemed without it seeming rushed or badly written. And I think, unfortunately (for me more than anything because I really wanted to see this), his main purpose seems to be to push Endeavor's redemption arc further.