#me when a skill takes time and practice: :(
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based almost entirely on vibes alone I headcanon the 999th turn was the first turn where Yoo Joonghyuk started experimenting with her gender.
She had lived a thousand lives. For the 999th round she had already decided to say 'fuck it' and do what she wanted, it was already a round unlike any other, so what's really to stop her from wearing a dress or changing her appearance? and in terms of yjh taking care of her companions during this round and being generally nicer, I think it fits if she was also presenting more femininely or taking on a more motherly role in the group.
anyway that's why kkoma 999 is so good at like, applying stories that change your face, because she already had practice.
(in terms of style, 999 definitely had a sort of a trad-goth look since Uriel was the one who introduced her to fashion. if you imagine they were together in this round this could even be a date)
#orv spoilers#trans yjh#yoo joonghyuk#omniscient reader's viewpoint#omniscient reader#ill draw her when i have the energy...i have so many ideas#do you guys remember that scene in chapter 424 where 999 changed dokjas appearance by rubbing her dumpling body all over his face#that was weird even for me#it did take time which implies it requires some skill and practice. hence the hc shes done it before#kinda like makeup I assume#my posts
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This is your sign to get back into playing that video game that you love but put down a long time ago and never picked back up again for no discernable reason
#started playing breath of the wild again a week or so ago after a youtube video about why we put down games showed up in my recommended#i can link the video for anyone who wants it but the most helpful advice in it for me was to just. try playing it for two minutes#if all your fears were right and you cant get back into it then you can put it right back down after the time is up#but if youre enoying yourself then you can keep playing#a big part of my fear was that i wouldnt be able to handle the combat anymore after going like a good couple years without playing it#bc one of the biggest things i love about botw is that for the most part. link doesnt level up#theres no attack and defense stats that level up as you earn experience and make him mechanically better at fighting#for the most part its YOU the player leveling up your fighting skills with practice#...but that also meant that after so long away from the game i was scared that i would have lost all my skill at it#and the learning curve would be too great this late in the game (literally the ONLY main storyline thing left for me to do is fight ganon)#but i played for two minutes and i remembered how much i loved the game. like firsthand not just vague recollection#so ive been running around doing side quests and exploring and now it doesnt feel like im stalling the final battle anymore#it feels like im just intentionally taking time to fully experience the game#and after getting combat practice in again with my exploration im finding out that my fears were wrong!#if anything im even BETTER at combat now than i was when i put the game down#back then i was still terrified of facing lynels and walking guardians#but now im taking them down before they can even get one hit in on me!#im so proud of myself and im having so much fun#so. for anyone else out there. this is your sign to do the same#rambling#maybe once i finish breath of the wild i can even finally start on tears of the kingdom 🙏
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My toxic trait is that I like how my incomplete drawings look better than the finished things
#im sorry i cant be her (my searching lines)#i cant stop thinking about this drawing i have a sinking feeling that im gonna be very unhappy when its done#or. not unhappy. but not as excited as i feel about it now!#i only worked in two short chunks on it but both were pretty productive#i have a feeling that when i take the time to really dedicate myself to it im gonna fuck something up#like i can see areas i need to/can improve already but the glaring flaws are ok! bc it's not finished!#it OVERALL looks cool and LOOKS like it has the potential to turn out well#but will it... WILL IT??? WILL IT EVER?#i have never been so totally completely satisfied w any finished drawing ive dedicated myself to fully.#tales from diana#this is also only the second time ive done a really deliberate self-portrait that wasnt in some for or another. practice#like of course ive drawn my face before. not that often actually. but since yes i do draw. i have drawn myself#i probably should've drawn myself more times for how often i think id like a nice picture of myself#but then again its not gonna be so 'nice' if i make it and am not totally happy w it?#see one of the ppl who inspired me to learn to draw is ned @sneez my dearest. he's spoiled me before#and drawn me very beautifully on several occasions and it's very much a thing to move one's heart#to see someone dedicate their talent to depicting YOU.#and i might say HE has made me look more beautiful in art than i think i'll ever look in the flesh#which is not to say he drew me inaccurately. but he's so talented that his art is more beautiful than life.#and i dont compare myself in skill to him bc he's been doing it for YEARS and way more trained than me in the visual arts.#like it simply wouldn't be fair so i only compare myself to myself. naturally#but i used to think. very VAINLY i might say. that if i could draw like him id draw beautiful pictures of myself all the time#well ce n'est pas ca mon ami. since learning to draw i've found im much more interested in drawing ppl i find beautiful#rather than myself. im not art. not through my own eyes at least.#i should really draw ned sometime. i really should.#actually somewhat embarrasingly i tried to draw him like 5 or 6 years ago. and i NEVER tried to draw then#i did show him tho and he thought it was very impressive but that's probably just bc he loves me. xoxox#maybe ill post that someday as a throwback just for the hell of it. lol. thatd be cute
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trying to write my first uhh spoken hypnosis induction script and oh my god. practised reading what I'd done out loud. how do you control your inflection?? how do you not stumble over every single word?????? there's a reason I write scripts I guess as opposed to speaking spontaneously
#sfw hypnosis#hypnosis#the worst part is I really like the script but my voice is so... croaky??#idk when I finish it I might just post it as something free to use#I've gotta start practising my spoken stuff tho#I'd love to be able to do hypnosis irl#even if I have nobody to practise on lol#me when I see hypnotists who've done this for ten years do a spontaneously spoken induction perfectly: what is this witchcraft#me when a skill takes time and practice: :(
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he is NOT going back to Vegas ‼️‼️
#his baby sauce deep hatred yet devotion for 'retweet or x bad thing will happen to u!!!' will never die out#' i HATE these posts >:(!!!! I DO NOT BELIEVE THEM >:(!!!!!!' and then he retweets it#i can literally picture his dumbfounded expression in my mind#he'll look exactly liked the shocked fromt facing hamster meme#i remember when i was little one of my girlfriends was doing magic tricks for our broke kid school 'talent show'#and she picked me as her practice assistant#and i was like OMG :)!!! I GET TO WATCH MAGIC HAPPEN MULTIPLE TIMES!! REAL MAGIC :D !!!#and then she showed me the cheat techniques i almost wanted to divorce her tbh#SHIT BROKE MY HEART 😭‼️‼️‼️‼️#WDYM IT WAS A FAKE PENNY/CARD/ILLUSIONARY THING????#MY PAIN IS IRREVERSIBLE#altho i do appreciate the skill it takes to remember all the slyness & stuff like that takes some memory !#it's still cool 😭 i just thought magic was real like in the books#im glad that belief still lives on within the little sauceling#his cutiepie hair <333 im glad hes keeping the beanie as a usually indoor pet#pls keep it that way 🩵#or abandon it all together please god#sauce#instead of celebrating valleys day with a boyfriend/girlfriend/meep#hes captivated by the mysteries of magic
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Bit of a morbid question, but is King... The Boiling Isles itself in Witch Switch, instead of his dad? Since mention was made of him "not being around".
Or if you want to be even more morbid... The Boiling Isles got an expansion in Witch Switch. Papa Titan is the original, and King is now it's matching set.
Mmmmmmm, not quite. King isn't doing GREAT, there's definitely a problem with him (which is why Luz can't just ask him to free the Collector and needs the blood from the door), but he's not an island
#i kinda want to draw this au. practice my drawing skills. but unfortunately! that will take me a very long time#bc i'm not as fast at drawing as writing and it's harder for me to do consistently/in any great amount#but when I'm being Vague it's bc i want to draw the thing in mah brain#asks#toh#witch switch au#king clawthorne#the owl house
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I actually made 9 drawings in 2 days
#ok 3 days because i took my laptop with me today just to finish some of them because i didn't have time or energy left for that yesterday#and 2 out of those 9 still aren't fully finished as of me writing this but i'll get to that in a minute#it's so crazy to me that i can actually already see such a big improvement between the 1st abd 7th like damn#if i'm still strong enough to continue with these through the rest of the month#this might really turn out to be one of the most effective and successful drawing exercises i've had so far#i still feel kind of silly about how it takes me this much work and time to do what is just colored doodles at the end of the day#but i'm also trying to remember that. well. i've had so little exercise and you can't be amazing and skilled at this or anything right away#and i only started taking drawing seriously at the very end of last year. abd even then my practicing is very inconsistent#hard to do anything lest something creative and somewhat demanding#when you also have to deal with the absolute lack of ability to do anything at all due to being severely depressed most of the time. lol.#ok whatever i'm mostly just posting this because i'm happy that i actually did manage to do this after all#and i'm also really happy with the result. i especially like the KMH drawing i think it turned out really great and i'm excited about that#yay.#goosepost
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Not being good at art is the most frustrating thing in the world
#im such an imaginative person#i have ideas for characters and creatures and landscapes and animations#but no matter how vividly i visualise them my hands cannot replicate it#and the fact that it would take years of practice to draw something i can picture right now pisses me off so much#all of these amazing ideas only exist in my head and not being able to have a proper visual of them makes me so angry#i know art takes a lot of time and effort and practice#but its so so so so frustrating in a way that i cant totally put into words#im willing to put the effort in#but it really frustrates me that i could practice for weeks and see only a tiny bit of progress#i think this is why i struggle to learn new skills#my brain knows the theory but it doesn't know how to put that in to practice#i know how to do it but at the same time i cant#god i hate this#i wish id gotten into art when i was young like my parents and sister#their so incredibly talented and i know it took a lot of work for all of them to be that talented#im a good writer but its so frustrating that i cant have a visual representation of my characters and creatures and world#in a way that satisfies me#anyway thats my rant about art sorry#edit: nearly started crying trying to draw a simple face shape so thats fun
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please forgive me, but I need to complain and over-share or my brain is going to explode please feel free to ignore
#I'm not doing well.#the last two places I worked (in a tourism-adjacent sector) closed. broadly speaking due to post-lockdown financial issues#for the past year at my current job I've been earning less than half what I used to. this was the only offer I got at the time and#I haven't found anything better since. this is not sustainable I'm barely making it each month...#I live with my parents and cancelled my health insurance I don't know how else to reduce my budget. it's depressing tbh#the solution is obviously to find a better job but that's just not happening and I'm beginning to feel discouraged.#I hate being negative it's a very unattractive character trait but I just feel myself slipping and spiraling#I know I should be taking short courses or volunteering to boost my cv but like when ! and how !#I can't afford to work less but I get home at 20h so even evening courses are tricky. I work every other saturday too so weekends are out#and like I do need to rest at some point you can't be depressed and burnt out that's a terrible combo#was looking at a dtp/typesetting short course and 1) I'll need a new computer that can actually run design programs#and 2) the course itself is like 2 month's salaries which I cannot realistically save right now#and yet I'm still ''over-qualified'' for entry level positions because I went to uni. well maybe that's just a polite excuse#because as interesting as my humanities degrees were they didn't equip me with any practical or marketable skills#besides being good at reading and writing. but AI can do that for free now so that's not helpful#I always thought I was reasonably intelligent but I cannot solve this puzzle. there must be a creative solution that I'm missing#but i feel so stuck and trapped#and at least once a week some poor soul stumbles in to the office practically begging for a job so I feel bad for complaining#a little truly is better than nothing#but thank god we elected more pro-business capitalists into government that really is going to be great for us workers (sarcasm)#also I should acknowledge#I am getting some déjà vu. I feel like I've vented about this topic before#the difference is. back then it was a potential concern. now the concern has materialised into reality and rendered the situation desperate
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…the difference between me and my allo friend… she already has a friendship with her crush. Her crush jokes and texts and visits her back. He’s even hugged her. And if he isn’t attracted to her back, she’ll throw all that away. Is there ANY consideration for his feelings at all?!
While me? I will rip out my own heart by keeping my distance if that’s what would be needed from me—because of a lack of interest, or because things are just complicated; there isn’t a lack of interest back. The opposite, apparently. There’s an Old Guilt about Yet Again feeling unable to reciprocate back the way they wish to…when this whole time all I’ve wanted was to try and find a middle ground. I will aggressively and persistently defend the right to JUST friendship and gently but firmly tell everyone to Leave It Alone, Stay Out Of It, Don’t Pressure EITHER Of Us. Because actual trust and respect and building a solid friendship at whatever level the other person either wants or can offer back…that means more to me than “I’m romantically attracted to this person emotionally and if they feel the same way I’d be open to exploring that with them at whatever point in the future.”
I…dunno. Maybe it’s just the difference between allosexuals and asexuals. Or Lust/Infatuation and alterous/queer platonic attraction. I won’t claim that I’m immune to limerence because…I’m not. But the kind I experience isn’t built upon The Idea of a person and what they look like…but my brain refusing to not get hyperfixated on someone and struggling to pry its jaws open to Let It GO, and…hope, I guess. Hope to finally actually be accepted and not containing myself so tightly inside.
Who someone actually is, if we have a spark of a platonic rapport (over QPR or romantic), matters more to me than an Idea of them, how they look, etc.
And it’s hard to not feel exasperated with apparently…this isn’t how people experience things. I’m always worrying my desire for a connection is too heavy and ultimately selfish. Even as…I really Don’t Care what sort of relationship I have, I just want to discover what it is and fortify it then privately compartmentalize anything leftover. While the majority of people…really don’t take someone’s feelings into consideration at all. It’s only how they feel and how the object of their attraction makes them feel.
…how am I supposed to not feel completely furious about this utter objectification regardless of someone’s gender and sexuality being considered the Acceptable Norm.
Especially when I have always had to fight so damn hard to even have friends and platonic intimacy with friends. Forget when I do have “extra” platonic attraction at play as well.
#tiger’s roar#don’t mind me. it’s just ANGY Ace Time#and I DO have the respect and care and dare I say it affection and attraction more or less returned#but like. I had to fight SO FUCKING HARD for it#harder than anyone else would’ve bothered to#…but the draw just Wouldn’t Go Away and the Draw even existed at all because they ARE someone who’s acted like they yearn for that too#that they are kind. and accept me. and have similar/same interests and to some degree a similar sense of humor#the tension…is circumstances. and misunderstandings for like. 2.5 years. but I think I FINALLY got those resolved#because…I am. stubborn like that. if I’m not told No each time I Check For A No. if I can accept I’m Not A Bother#then…yeah. I’m gonna put energy into exploring for a middle ground and defending the right to friendship and understanding/accepting#in addition to the selfwork I’m going to keep on doing. for my own healing. my own future self.#but especially when it might/is affecting other people#’iT’s nOT tHAT dEEP TiGER!!’ okay but LISTEN. I have A LOT of trauma to resolve and yearning for connection to deal with#and social skills to be stuck practicing very much delayed because my developmental environment STUNTED them#but the pain of Not Dealing With It is poisoning me so…I HAVE to deal with the extreme distress of taking that on#so…yeah. it IS That Deep to me#and when people just…take the friendships they already have for granted… BRUH.
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Hate how i got into the habit of (objectively!) criticising/pointing out flaws with my work to compensate being overpraised as The Gifted Kid TM & how it makes me sound like i'm being self deprecating
#its such a hard habit to get rid of#tbf its true im not the best at taking compliments but mostly im just. allergic to praise i dont deserve and/or that singles me out#and it comes up every now and then w irl ppl how i am supposedly constantly talking myself down#even though among my artist friends i am doing that the least amount!#like. guys. there is a difference between not giving myself credit and acknowledging flaws#bc belive it or not i can do that without feeling shit about myself!#and half the time im not even talking abt myself im talking abt others?#cus i hate when people talk themselves down and i will often chime in to say what i think theyre good at#and bc *they* start comparing themselves to me i will then counter with what they are better at than me#or that yeah maybe xy about mine is better but ive also got a lot more practice#and idk i genuinely dont belive that is being self deprecating???#if anything you acting like im a prodigy or sth is devaluing the time and effort i put in to hone a skill#which btw being able to feel ok about my skillset including the goods and bads is also a skill i had to learn!#idk.#lay rambles#sorry for the rant this is just sth i get frustrated about way too often#this doesnt just apply to art but thats where it comes up the most#actually im not done sorry#this specifically was in the context that we got a project graded and the teacher graded us by comparing projects#(which is questionable in itself but i digress)#& then when it came to me i argued that the person he compared me to deserved a better grade and then listed a bunch of reasons#bc she visibly put in more effort and had included things i hadnt and i thought the grade was unfair#and i never once said i thought mine was bad or didnt deserve the grade! but i know i did not put much effort into it and that this showed#and yes it still turned out visually nice; i got pretty good at getting the most out of the least effort possible#and i acknowledge that this is also a skill!#but also pointing out the very visible differences in quality and effort is not? self deprecating?? or am i missing something???#and then had 4 ppl calling me out later for talking down my own project smh#like guys at this point youre just projecting#ik im grumbling abt this way more than warranted lol but a lil venting never hurts
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practicing gratitude. even though today was a little chaotic, I genuinely learned a lot (about abortions, about IUD insertion, about gyn cases, about specimens, about skin grafting) and it was really interesting. the teams were all pleasant and friendly, and my circ was the sweetest woman I think I've ever met at work. although clearly overwhelmed herself, since she had experience but had just started working there on her own and the residents left her out to dry, she was endlessly kind and encouraging towards me. you know melanie lynsky from yellowjackets? her voice sounded like that. just SO sweet
#not like the SP who scoffed at me for contaminating something while opening it#IM SORRY!!! IT HAPPENS TO LITERALLY EVERYONE!!!!#would you rather I lied??? huh??? its a sterile environment you should be GLAD I came forward#'ohh it'll be hard to find' this hospital is so fucking big. you can find it somewhere I know you can.#I actually didn't want to open it since we didn't know if we'd use it and she insisted#but lo and behold THEY DIDN'T NEED IT#god I love being vindicated. anyway she was a treasure#not like the.#okay I went in on call last weekend and when the case was done I was like im going home now bye! and this lady was like#'must be nice' all sarcastically' im sorry how am I to blame for your schedule first of all#second of all I literally work 80 hrs biweekly. coming in on the weekends is EXTRA. we all take over 100 hrs of call per month.#so!!!! that was rude!!!#BUT IM PRACTICING GRATITUDE#I can't do my job without these other teams!!! we all contribute valuable time and labor and skills!!!#cor.txt
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The Kodo show was amazing 🖤🥁🖤🥁🖤
#its been 24 hours now but yesh#i was gonna wait til i got on my comp and make a read more post but that didn't happen so its tag rant time#they were sooooo good#the more intense pueces had ne on the edge of my seat and i enjoyed every min#also they used the baseball bat bachi several times which i really wanna do lol#they also had this pice where they made the shime sound like wind it was insane#there was also a pice where dancers were the center piece which ive never seen at a taiko show really#also a couple of songs with singers which is like less common they had serious pipes too#anyway back to drimming theyre so skilled i only hope i can be somewhat as good in many years form now tbh but its inspiring#and tgey did a lot of the on the ground and leaning back playing which their stamina impressed me cause they also played some intense stuff#it was a great show#im super glad i caught them on thir tour it had been a while#and it was just wow#ill never get tired of watching taiko its just the coolest especially when more experienced players are taking it to another level#like i wish my job was taiko ngl practice can be tiring but if i could just do it no day job in the way it would rock#but ill keep working on it as i am now but man seeing two really pro groups lately has me dreaming lol#taiko#talks
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Every defence of AI art I’ve seen has been so weak. And also seemingly running on the assumption that people who draw are gatekeeping the act of art making? That’s not how any of this works. If you have creative ideas then nothing is stopping you from putting pen to paper and getting it out, and I guarantee that any slightly crooked looking piece of art made by a new artist will fulfil the vision you’ve had more than anything generated by a computer with a prompt
#don’t get me wrong I find the actual computing process quite interesting#because science and stuff#but the implication that ai makes art accessible when art has always been accessible?#sure you’re not going to be van gogh o'keefe or Rembrandt in your first five minutes#unless you’re a level of prodigic previously unknown to man#but the skill is there to be built and no one can ever take that from you#and it’s so fulfilling to see your growth#and it’s never too late to start and you don’t have to practice all the time to improve#sure it helps but people have lives and don’t have time to practice regularly#and that’s fine
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guys come on. can we please be better than this.
#don’t make me tap the fucking sign.#cgi is no less legitimate of an art form than practical effects and we do NOT need to put one down to praise the other.#can cgi be misused? yes. but both have their place and I’m sick and fucking tired of seeing people complain about ‘bad cgi’#when it looks just fine.#people made that too. when you completely dismiss and put down cgi you are also undervaluing the artists who worked on it.#who spent hours of their time working on this thing just for it to be dismissed with ‘practical effects are better lol’#how do you think that feels when they see shit takes like that? for their entire profession to be undermined like that.#it still takes a lot of effort and skill#they’re artists too.#WHY are we pitting two bad bitches against each other.#we can value one without undervaluing the other. it’s literally not that hard.#one is not inherently better than the other. SHUT UP.
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sigh i think my sister is being infected by the learned helplessness shit of twitter & tiktok
#had a disagreement just now that’s really bugging me#she likes blended up ice and always asks me to make it for her and i always do#but this time i didn’t feel like it so i was like no you can go do it urself#because it is just. putting ice in a blender#and then it took her forever and when i came over she complained about me not telling her how to make it ig? idk#she had too much ice in the thing. which i should have told her but i assumed she knew already#bc she was like man now i have to eat this so i can blend the stuff at the bottom & i was like lol ok#so i go to wait for her in the living room bc we were going to watch community and i sit down at my normal seat on the couch#which is where i ALWAYS sit when she’s not in the room#but when she is in the room she always gets there first and takes that seat which i hate but i’ve never brought it up#i’ve kind of always seen it as a good way to practice coping with minor changes in routine#so she comes in the room and gets all upset bc i took her seat and she wants to sit there#and i’m trying to explain this is also MY seat and i want to sit here tonight bc i finally got here first and i always have to sit elsewhere#and she just won’t budge and starts lamenting about how i didn’t tell her how to make the blended ice and she’s all stressed about it#and i was like okay dude look i want this seat. this is a good opportunity to learn how to deal with changes and stress.#so u can sit wherever else and we can chill and watch community#and she was like that’s not how my mind works and i was like girl it HAS to work that way bc u will not fare well in the real world#bc like i know she CAN cope with these things#so i was trying to be like look u gotta learn to use coping skills in a safe environment w minor changes so u can apply them#bc i wanted that seat & hey learning opportunity#and she was like now you’re patronizing me and i was like girl i am literally not trying to im just explaining#i hate being misconstrued like that when i’m just trying to explain something#idk man. i think i was somewhat in the wrong for pushing. but i ALSO hate changes and wanted that seat for ONCE!!#maybe tonight just wasn’t the night but she does this kind of thing often#so many ‘i cant’s… TRY it’s OKAY you can make mistakes you can always try again you HAVE to push yourself#idkkk man#really bugged me that she was literally leaving the room like nvm were not watching community anymore over this#bc watching things with people is like my primary bonding strat#so here i was all ready to have quality time and now this whole thing is being blown out of proportion ughhh it just irritates me sm#if you have a ‘well actually’ about this i’ve already thought of it i know i knowww im just irritatedly ranting
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