#but especially when it might/is affecting other people

[habken]

Izuku and Katsuki Hospital Comic - Thoughts and Process

I wanted to talk about the process and my thoughts while making this comic! Cause it was A Lot of planning and I feel like talking about how I went about it could maybe be helpful for other people who wanna make comics too ?

Also I just like talking and I've had So Many thoughts about it over the last few months, I just need to get them all out lol

everything is under the cut (it's Very Long) ↓↓↓

Initial Thoughts

I started planning the comic in January, around the time the chapter with the second user's plan to transfer ofa to shigaraki came out. I remember feeling so anxious and sad seeing how devastated Deku was to lose the 'gift' that All Might had passed to him :'((

It made me start thinking about what it would be like to not only go from having all this insane power at your fingertips back to nothing, but also how it would feel to lose the vestiges, which had been his advisers, yapping in his ear and keeping him company for months. How it would feel to go from constantly having people looking over your shoulder back to silence.

Then I thought about what that would mean for his and Bakugou's relationship, which has developed so much over the series. How Bakugou would feel about Deku no longer having ofa, how the two of them would wrestle with old feelings now that Deku would be quirkless again. Bakugou having to face the kid he bullied and Deku going back to a state where the world saw him as "useless" with dreams too big for somebody without a quirk.

I feel like sometimes it's not really taken into account how Deku's past affects him in the present, and that goes for in the actual series as well. Considering he's the main character, it's funny that we never really get too much of a peak inside his mind lol, especially not recently, which is most likely intentional, but I digress.

What I really wanted to do for this comic was circle back to Deku's question to All Might at the start of the series, "can I become a hero without a quirk" because while yes, deku can be a hero, he had to get a quirk to do so. So what happens now that he no longer has it? After all of Bakugou and Deku's development, would Bakugou's opinion on deku pursuing his dreams while quirkless change?

I really didn't want that answer to be no. I didn't want to believe that Deku would have to give up and "be realistic" again, it just didn't feel right for that to be the answer after 400 chapters.

So I wanted to make something that would encapsulate those thoughts! And I felt like the best way to fully get that out was through a scene in the aftermath of the battle, the two of them in the hospital with nothing to do but talk about their feelings.

It was important to me that the doubts they both felt about the future were stomped out, and for there to be reassurance that things between them wouldn't snap back to how it was before UA. That Deku could still reach his dreams even if they did become harder to obtain.

I also felt like narratively it would be a good parallel if Bakugou were to lose something tied to his power too, and with his arm being so bad off in canon, I thought it made sense that there was a chance he could lose it forever.

So it's like they're both coming out of the final battle worse off with huge losses, but no matter what, they're going to fight to achieve their dreams, and they're going to do it side by side :')

At its core, it’s very self indulgent lmao, I didn’t think that we’d get something that sappy and gross in canon (😳) so I wanted to make something for myself :')

Planning

So then I made a first draft!

When I’m making bigger comics, thumbnails are super helpful! They help me see the full picture of what it could look like, and let me change things without putting in too much commitment. So most of the drawings are loose, but occasionally I’ll put in a little extra detail into things that I want to make sure are included in the final work.

There’s three main things I consider when thumbnailing for comics; expression, composition, and dialogue. Each of these things have a huge influence on each other, so keeping them all in mind when roughing out your drawings is important!

How it usually works is I play out the scene in my head like a movie and roughly come up with dialogue, then I draw characters and expressions based on that dialogue and the visions I had. Simultaneously I plan out approximately where those drawings will go/how much space they'll take up and finally, I add in the dialogue and move things around as needed so everything fits nice together.

Having the dialogue there in the draft lets me know around how big the speech bubbles are gonna be which is a massive help when figuring out paneling. It lets me plan around the bubbles and make sure nothing is too squished!

General tips:

Something I learnt from storyboarding is that establishing a setting for your scene at the start is really important! Most of my comics will start with a long shot or include one early on for this reason. It’s good for making sure readers aren’t confused on where everything is taking place!

Having a variety of shots is good for keeping your story engaging! This comic has a lot of closeups, but I tried to add variety where I could and used a lot of different angles to keep things entertaining even if there isn't that much going on

Final thoughts on this draft:

At this stage, the ending was really different from the final version I ended up with. It was a lot more focused on Bakugou's losses too and the vibe was kinda "well we're both nerfed now but that's chill we can still be heroes." I axed most of that cause I thought it was dumb and wasn’t really the conclusion I wanted lol

After the rough draft, I started sketching everything out and adding in panels based on the composition from the og thumbnails. I also changed the dialogue as I went, focusing on making it sound more natural and easy to read.

This is where the nuances in movement and expression became a bit more refined and speech bubbles where better planned out.

At this stage, establishing clarity and imagining how readers are going to move their eye along the page is really important. Comics are generally read left to right, but you can’t just assume people are going to automatically read it in the order you want, which is why panels and speech bubble locations are so important.

Tips:

A general rule is that along with going from left to right, speech bubbles should be in descending order. This can be broken a bit, but it’s important to remember that the rule is there in the first place for clarity's sake. So if you do plan on breaking it, make sure it's not at the sacrifice of legibility. The human eye is lazy and will jump to whatever seems most logical, so planning things out in a confusing manner is going to make your comic hard to read!

This is another thing I picked up from storyboarding, but keeping in mind the 180° rule is good for clarity as well! In the simplest of terms, if you have two characters in a scene, it’s good to keep character A on one side and character B on the other, and not switch those sides willy-nilly, otherwise it can get confusing. This isn't as important in comics as it is in film/television, but I still like keeping it in mind.

Final thoughts:

I hated the original ending but I couldn't exactly figure out how I wanted it to go, and I was too busy at that point to dedicate the time I needed towards it, so it stayed as these four panels for while :’)

During the period I stopped working on it, Deku lost his arms which had me panicking lmao, so much of the comic was devoted to his emotions and body language, specifically in his hands. I just went "am I gonna have to redo everything? Do I give him prosthetics?" and I was fully ready to rework the entire thing but Eri came in clutch for Deku (and me) <3

After Deku started getting hurt, I didn't really like the idea of him being discharged and sitting with a still injured Katsuki, and wanted it to be clear that they were both still in the hospital, so I had to axe poor Deku's "hospital gown" shirt for actual hospital garb </3

At some point during april-ish, I finally added in a new beginning and end, which took the comic from four pages to seven. I felt like the new parts added a lot more levity and humour which were needed, and I think it helped make Izuku and Katsuki feel closer than before.

For these pages, I skipped the thumbnail stage and jumped straight into full page stuff, which felt easier because they were kind of just add-ons.

Something I specifically liked were the first two panels in the last page. Fun fact, but a few days after I sketched those out, horikoshi released that art of to two of them smiling together and I went !! That's the vibe I wanted !! Me and Horikoshi are on the same wavelength! That was a good day lmao.

At this point, though, while new parts added a lot more to the story and brought it closer to the vibe I wanted, they also messed with the tone and overall pacing and it ended up feeling really off. Deku was now doing this weird 180 from being super sad and upset to then immediately joking around and goofing off with no acknowledgement of anything Katsuki was saying, which had been fine enough when it was just 4 panels, but very off-putting once I made the comic longer

...So I decided to add even more panels :')

I went back to my original ideas, and part of what I wanted to get across originally was the doubts about Izuku's future from here on out, and the worry that things would go back to how they were before he got ofa. I realized those initial things which had fueled the comic were no longer really part of it, and I wanted to change that.

When I thought up the idea of visuals surrounding their middle school selves, I felt so smart LMAO. I think it ended up being the thing that brought the entire comic together.

Izuku reverting back to that anxious, unconfident state, spiralling into himself, and mumbling out all his insecurities, including his fears about losing Katsuki's friendship (and yet still somehow more worried about Katsuki's feelings than his own). And in turn, Katsuki remembering and seeing Izuku as that kid again, and his own fears of becoming a bully once more.

It better explored what I wanted to originally get across and delved more into their feelings, so that the jokes and levity at the end felt like they were earned, rather than being a rapid shift in tone.

(The only other thing that changed was the some of the panels in the first page. I changed up the speech bubbles and got rid of a panel so it would be less cramped and easier to read.)

At this point, I was still having trouble figuring out how to tie everything in and segway pages 6-7 into the ending organically, so it sat like this for around a month.

Then chapter 423 released and the battle was over and I realized how little time I actually had to get the comic out. I knew that the next chapter could possibly make my entire comic obsolete, so I hauled ass :D

These were the final plans before I cleaned everything up! I changed around some of the panels to make the story flow better, I figured out how to tie everything in, and I finalized the dialogue!

At this point all the panelling was redone because I wanted more space in between them. Before, it felt really cramped and I think adding in more breathing room made it feel slightly less overwhelming for readers.

The biggest changes from the previous draft:

First, obviously, I finished the middle school stuff and figured out how to get from one part to the next. This was the hardest part of the planning, but I ended up deciding that Deku would spiral, Bakugou would kind of bring him out of that, they'd hug and then Bakugou would reassure him. I also included motifs relating to their childhood to be reminiscent of The Apology, and Katsuki's thoughts going back to them sharing the special All Might cards, them at the lake, etc. As if this was another healing moment for each part of them; their current selves, their MS selves, and their childhood selves too

I then changed some of the panels in the first page. I switched the direction of the diagonal line in the first few panels because I thought it made it more clear which way to start reading and made the comic flow better.

In the fourth page, I added a panel after Deku starts crying, because I felt like it worked better with the dialogue, and brought in more of Katsuki's POV into the story

The sixth page doesn't really look different, but there was a lot of resizing going on panel-wise. The bottom panel doesn't take up as much space and the panels up top are a little bigger

The final big change was the eighth page. I added in an extra panel and changed up a lot of expressions/dialogue so there was more of a natural transition between the heartfelt moments and the two goofing off

I then made some final changes and drawover notes before I started a week of cleanup and colouring!

Cleanup/Colouring Stage

Cleaning up my sketches usually just means duplicating the layer, putting the original layer at 5% opacity and.. cleaning it until it looks nice lol. It's the easiest way for me to work because I hate doing lineart.

This is what my sketch vs final usually looks like. The biggest change was adding in bandages into all the drawings lol.

For speech bubbles, I drew them all by hand, created a flat colour layer underneath in white, duplicated that and filled it in with black and shifted it with the transformation tool to make a drop shadow effect.

It took me two days to colour the whole thing :')

Usually when I colour, I work in a pretty painterly way, but I thought flats/cell shading would be a lot faster for this. I was right but it still took Very Long.

The smartest thing I did was put colour swatches of each colour I was using on a separate layer above everything else so I could easily use the eyedropper and get the right colour without having to reference them from another page. It was a big time saver!

I colour all on a single layer so I don't have progress photos to show, but for each drawing, I roughly added in all the colours in the approximate locations they'd be, and once I did that for every single panel, I went back and cleaned them up one by one.

And that's that! After colouring was done, I added my signature, posted it, and took the nap of the century.

Final, Final Thoughts

I worked... Very Hard to get the comic out before leaks night and even if it was just a few hours, I'm so glad I was able to do it cause when I saw the actual chapter I lost my mindddd

I feel like as the comic progressed, Katsuki's feelings took a backseat and if I was to redo it, I'd probably put a bit more emphasis on that than I did in the final version. I feel like his ~inner turmoil~ didn't fully come through the way I wanted it to. I didn't want it to be an immediate acceptance — I wanted the fact that he was struggling with his past to be evident too — but with the focus being so heavily on Izuku, Katsuki's inner thoughts get a bit lost which is too bad </3 Good thing is Horikoshi had the exact opposite idea as me, so it all worked out :D

I'm really proud of how the comic turned out, and I'm so happy to have gotten such a positive response to it! Thank you for reading if you got this far and thank you for reading my silly self-indulgent hospital comic :)

[yuri-is-online]

I'm sure Leo is keeping it for dirt especially if it's someone he knows, Sho doesn't want to cook him the spicy food? Do you want him to ask the NPC if they can pull your hair and see if you are in a better mood? Romeo is teasing him a bit too much? I might not have as many brand deals but at least I wasn't begging last night for the NPC to praise me, He might not know Subaru's secrets but now he knows he cries and sniffles during sex, even if it won't help him with anything other than embarrass him

referencing this

Leo is stupid embarrassed at first just because he doesn't want to picture anyone having sex with Honor Roll, but if he can find a way to slide what he knows into conversation without looking like a perv then he absolutely will.

SHO- It's less that he calls him out and more like Leo wants to tease his friend a bit because he expects this to be something Sho'll hit and quit but like... why is he blushing. There's plenty of older people who will yank his hair while fucking and suck him off if that's what he's into. He cannoT be thinking of dating that basic bitch is he insane? Sho is getting dragged to the club this weekend and Leo is going to be disappointed when Sho is turning people down; he needs to get his boy out of this school it's starting to affect his brain.

Alan- I know my post references him spying on him and Thoma but if Leo followed him thinking that he was meeting up with three eyes only to hear him hooking up with MC... personally I think Alan would want to be a gentle lover and treat MC sort of like glass but Leo refuses to even think the words "making love." Yeah he's getting bullied, Leo wants to see if he'll really lay hands on someone for talking shit about his partner. Best part is when he gets shoved up a wall he can just ask if MC likes it like that.

Subaru- He's subtle with it because Leo wants Subaru to be a bit paranoid about what he knows and feel embarrassed, but I could see this being something that makes Subaru genuinely angry. It's one thing to make fun of him for crying, it's another to shame MC and imply they're dishonorable in some way for indulging him. It's still a win in Leo's book since he gets to see Subaru not being perfect.

And Subaru absolutely cries during sex, he can feel your arousal and love for him when you touch and it overwhelms him to feel so safe. Sure he's been horny before but he didn't think sex could feel so good...

Romeo- Leo seems to respect Ro Ro's taste but this seriously makes him question that. Why would he be with something so cheap? Does he get on his knees for Honor Roll before he takes it up the ass or would that ruin his slacks? Romeo is flustered over his comment sure but deep down, he is also sort of smug that he has someone who praises him as much as the MC does. He's heard what you have to say about Leo so he knows it's real. Also is it just me or with how much he flexes his spending, do you think that would extend to things like lube too? idk I just feel like even that would have to be designer for him (¬_¬")

Taiga- He isn't even sure you were having sex; whatever happened in that room is between you and the C.I.A. at this point because Leo knows for damn sure god hasn't been anywhere near you in a while.

[lonesome-witching]

Never Let Go

This was an anonymous prompt asking for quotes 11 and 12 of this post. This time I'm certain I counted correctly because the prompter put the quotes in the prompt.

Do you have any prompts yourself? Or do you want to dive into what I wrote before? You can read my previous prompts or send me some new ones.

Robin’s hands were shaking. It wasn’t anything new. She had gotten used to it by now. When she got nervous her hands would shake and her mouth would start running a mile a minute.

It was only normal for her hands to be shaking right now. Especially after the words that had just slipped past her lips.

“Do you mean that?” Nancy asked. She had halted her movements, her hand dangling in the air. Robin wished she could guess what Nancy was thinking.

“Uh… Yes?”

Nancy nodded her head. As if all was clear now. Her hands finally grabbed the bandages as she got back to work. “I think you might have a concussion and we should make sure that cut on your shoulder doesn’t get infected.” Back to business.

“What?”

“You should try not to sleep tonight, just in case.”

“I’m sorry.”

Nancy looked up from where she was inspecting Robin’s arms, her fingers tingling Robin’s skin as she wrapped the bandage around one of Robin’s cuts. “What are you sorry for?”

“I didn’t mean to make things weird or to make you uncomfortable.”

“You didn’t.” Nancy averted her gaze again.

“You didn’t really react.”

Nancy sighed, stepping away from Robin now that bandage was secured in place. “You’re being an idiot, Robin.”

“I feel like I knew that already.”

“Stop it! You don’t need to earn my affection, not now and not ever, okay? And please, don’t apologize for wanting to be loved.”

“I—” Robin started.

“No, I’m not done.” Nancy grabbed Robin’s hands, dropping down to her knees. “I can’t believe you would think I wouldn’t love you. Robin, there is a reason why I picked you every step of the way. And— And we’ve kissed. You think I’d kiss just anybody?”

“I thought you might have pitied me.”

“Robin, I— It wasn’t pity.” Nancy shook her head.

“It wasn’t?”

“No, of course not. Robin, I kissed you because I wanted to kiss you.”

“You did?” Robin asked. Her voice was shaking too.

“Of course I did, Robin. Why can’t you believe that people want you?” Nancy was leaning her head on Robin’s knees. It looked adorable. Now more than ever it became unbelievable that Nancy would want to kiss her, would want to be with her, would possibly be able to like her.

“I guess I just have never been wanted before.” It was as honest as she could get.

“Well, you’re wanted now. I want you. I lo— I like you a lot, Robin.” Nancy pressed her lips to the back of Robin’s hand.

“You do?”

Nancy chuckled softly. “Yes, I do.”

“Are you sure?”

Nancy pecked Robin’s lips. “Most definitely.”

“Would you stay up with me?” Robin’s voice was growing steadier, ever so slightly.

“What?”

“You said I should stay up because I might have a concussion.”

“Oh, yes, of course I’ll stay with you. I’ll always stay with you.”

They sat next to each other on Nancy’s bed. Their thighs touching. Robin couldn’t help the thoughts that seeped into her brain.

Nancy’s hand inched closer. Just a little. Just enough. Enough for her pinky to touch Robin’s hand. Slowly, Nancy grabbed her hand. Her fingers curling around Robin’s. It felt nice. It felt like Robin finally belonged somewhere. And she hoped, beyond anything, that she’d never have to let go again.

[cripplecharacters]

hello there!

I am currently writing a story (personal project not professional or anything) and one of the main characters has multiple sclerosis, and uses forearm crutches.

I have an idea of some symptoms that I've found from researching (googling, mostly) the disability, the main ones that affect this character being visions problems, mobility problems, pain and muscle spasms & stiffness & weakness.

do you have any general advice on what to avoid and what is good to include on writing a disabled character, both in general and with the specifics i am describing?

for physical appearence, like clothing and such, anything i should know about clothes that could impede the character in using their forearm crutches or dealing with pain?

more specifically, are there any kinds of footwear that are especially bad or good for people who use forearm crutches? i was thinking work boots with some kind of padding, but i would like a second opinion.

i'm not sure how much of the research i'm doing will actually show up in the story or how far i'll get in writing the story, but i would really appreciate your help!

hello i just sent a longer ask, the character (who i forgot to mention their name in the last ask, oops) Lichuen uses forearm crutches and would decorate them. what are things to know about decorating crutches? Lichuen has a kind of pastel frilly bog witch aesthetic and i imagine they would use stuff like lace to decorate, but i don't know what kind of decorations would interfere with the crutches' purpose

General advice: For any disabled character, my general advice is to give them goals that aren't just related to their disability, to give them hobbies and likes and dislikes, and to know as much about their disability as you can so you can know how it would affect them and how they navigate the world.

Vision problems: Feel free to check out our blindness tag! Different types of vision problems and visual impairment will need different things, but we have a variety there. Research what specific issues with vision your character has, too! Like, do they wear glasses? Do they need a white cane? Etc.

Chronic pain, muscle spasms, stiffness, and weakness: We have a chronic pain representation tag that might be helpful, as well as a mobility disabilities tag that could help if your character's muscle spasms, stiffness, and weakness cause a mobility disability. Check out our mobility aids tag if they need any, too. Overall, chronic pain is often tiring, as are muscle stiffness and weakness. Bodies use a lot of energy when they have trouble moving and when they're in pain. Your character could likely need breaks and rest more than others do.

Clothing & footwear: I actually found a website with the purpose of helping crutch users find comfortable footwear! crowdsourced by people who use them, too. The consensus, before you click the link: arch support or general foot placement support, sturdier/durable and sometimes zipper/slip-on rather than laces. As to clothing, I couldn't find anything specific, but generally speaking it seems like anything that is too loose and/or long in the arms area and could get caught in the crutches would probably be avoided.

Decoration: Some people post about how they decorate their aids! This person has this particular post of them actively decorating their crutches (i couldn't find their pronouns so i'm defaulting to they/them).

Hope this helped!

– mod sparrow

[itsthe60sbaby]

I have been reading some comments around and just thought I would give you my two cents about a couple of things. Just for the sake of sharing and infusing some calming positivity above the fandom I hope.

I come from a long viewer experience; deeply invested viewer experience. I love tv shows, I love falling in love with them; I am kinda selective, I do not waste much time on those that do not resonate for me, but I can watch crime stories, horror ones, love stories, spies ones, as long as they have something that intrigues me. But when there’s a good love story, I am like Penelope. I can’t resist. I love to watch the relationships unfolding, I love the ups and downs, the rollercoaster of emotions. Blending comedy with drama, as well. And from time to time I love the feeling to find just my perfect cup of tea. That one show feeding my soul in that particular moment of my life. Among my favs, just to give a picture: This is Us, Jane the Virgin, The Good Place, The Good Wife, Modern Family, House, and many others.

I come from a long experience then. And getting invested, shipping a couple with the highest level of expectations can be tricky. Especially if you let PR strategy get to you.

On one level, you expect so much from the show you’re watching, you start making up fantasies of your own, picturing stuff in your head and that of course never materializes. It would be impossible. And yet some creative decisions serve a higher purpose. It’s a work of art. Some people would always find something they do not like so much, others will go along. If you don’t have expectations and are less invested, you probably end up enjoying it more, in a sense. But there’s a lot of work behind it all, so many professionals giving their hearts and souls to the project, putting their whole selves in it, to give us the best story, told in the best way they could conceive it. Doing their absolute best. And it feels disrespectful to me, destroying their efforts, just because a few things weren’t the dream come true of my expectations.

On the other hand, and this goes beyond what should be said or discussed, PR strategy is just what it is. And it adds some fun of course but actors have their lives. Although they generously share them with us, play with us, humor the fandom. We don’t have any idea how difficult that must be at times. At yet they do it with a smile of their faces, keeping up the facade even if they might feel unease (which is understandable even if they can play along and laugh about it cause they are professionals and actors to the core). That being said, despite someone might like to fantasize, whatever personal choices or people they love or date, that doesn’t diminish the bonds they create, the chemistry, the affection or the special connection we observe and love so much about them. All of these have fueled their performance, nurture it. And I believe it’s a blessing. Just as much Kanthony was so good because of the great friendship b/w John and Simone. Paraphrasing Benedict, there might be enough love for everyone. To have a special someone and yet loving to bits one of your best friends, who might even be some sort of soulmate or just a what if that nevertheless will never come true. Or maybe not. Everyone is the main character of their own life. Only they can tell. But as a friendly advice, from an older me to my younger self, and to the ones among you feeling off right now, I would say, do learn to separate fiction from reality. Characters from people. Their lives go on just the same. Yours might feel deprived of something that is just in your heads and was never truly yours. You just borrowed someone else’s alleged emotions, picking up glances and smiles, and cute stuff alright but… focus on your life. And take advantage of fiction when it can let you fly high, elsewhere, far way, and get you come back home with a different feeling inside you. Healing or filling whatever hole you felt that needed care and mending.

I want to let it sink in. And go back rewatching season 3 with some more detachment. I gave it 9 out 10 really. I feel so blessed by this tale of love and so grateful for all the fun of the press tour.

Let’s keep having fun.

[skys-archive]

Fandom Can't Handle Asexuality

I was watching this video and GOD this is so important. I haven't felt like making a post about everything that goes into shipping ace and around characters but this is really good to what I think. This is about Alastor from Hazbin Hotel but it's a really good watch even if you haven't watched it

Especially there's this one part, about loopholes. I fully love the idea of queer platonic relationships between fictional characters, but a lot of the fandom seems to be using it as a loophole to be romantic under the veil of qprs. A queer platonic relationship is NOT romantic. Depending on the people there might be affection of some kind but the whole point is that there's no romantic feeling.

I don't know, I don't have the energy to fully get into the aroace shipping discourse but please for the love of everything, us aroaces don't have a lot of representation, and when we do all everyone wants to do is try and use our words against us. Aces can be sexual, aros can be romantic. And yes that's true but not when these characters so clearly are NOT. Alastor is so clearly not interested in touch and and sex and romance, Isaac from Heartstopper is so clearly pained from the fact that he just doesn't want sex or romance AT ALL. I can't speak for other representation as I haven't watched it. Please stop doing this.

You don't want your gay characters in straight relationships, you don't want to take away representation it's what we've been saying forever so why are you taking it away from us?

I guess I got into it more than I meant to but really I could go on forever.

[void-tiger]

…the difference between me and my allo friend… she already has a friendship with her crush. Her crush jokes and texts and visits her back. He’s even hugged her. And if he isn’t attracted to her back, she’ll throw all that away. Is there ANY consideration for his feelings at all?!

While me? I will rip out my own heart by keeping my distance if that’s what would be needed from me—because of a lack of interest, or because things are just complicated; there isn’t a lack of interest back. The opposite, apparently. There’s an Old Guilt about Yet Again feeling unable to reciprocate back the way they wish to…when this whole time all I’ve wanted was to try and find a middle ground. I will aggressively and persistently defend the right to JUST friendship and gently but firmly tell everyone to Leave It Alone, Stay Out Of It, Don’t Pressure EITHER Of Us. Because actual trust and respect and building a solid friendship at whatever level the other person either wants or can offer back…that means more to me than “I’m romantically attracted to this person emotionally and if they feel the same way I’d be open to exploring that with them at whatever point in the future.”

I…dunno. Maybe it’s just the difference between allosexuals and asexuals. Or Lust/Infatuation and alterous/queer platonic attraction. I won’t claim that I’m immune to limerence because…I’m not. But the kind I experience isn’t built upon The Idea of a person and what they look like…but my brain refusing to not get hyperfixated on someone and struggling to pry its jaws open to Let It GO, and…hope, I guess. Hope to finally actually be accepted and not containing myself so tightly inside.

Who someone actually is, if we have a spark of a platonic rapport (over QPR or romantic), matters more to me than an Idea of them, how they look, etc.

And it’s hard to not feel exasperated with apparently…this isn’t how people experience things. I’m always worrying my desire for a connection is too heavy and ultimately selfish. Even as…I really Don’t Care what sort of relationship I have, I just want to discover what it is and fortify it then privately compartmentalize anything leftover. While the majority of people…really don’t take someone’s feelings into consideration at all. It’s only how they feel and how the object of their attraction makes them feel.

…how am I supposed to not feel completely furious about this utter objectification regardless of someone’s gender and sexuality being considered the Acceptable Norm.

Especially when I have always had to fight so damn hard to even have friends and platonic intimacy with friends. Forget when I do have “extra” platonic attraction at play as well.

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

lies on the floor and has just So Many Feelings about all the ways in which pericles and cassidy are foils, one of them being the comparison between how they use constant, vocal, unabashed affirmation of the qualities they value about themselves to cope with rock bottom self-esteem.

there's so much to be said here about how pericles' 'positive' self-talk is ultimately destructive to himself and everyone around him, whereas cassidy's has both been healing for her and held her back from processing her self-loathing in other ways, and so much of that has to do with her experiencing firsthand the results of pericles' shit handling of his poor self-esteem and desperately not wanting to be anything like him. fuck me up man

[raviscin]

Movie take: tbh Fight Club's social commentary got kinda lost on me when apparantly every single man on the planet was 100% on board with doing every single thing Tyler told them to because at that point it feels less like "oh my sigma we literally live in a society so true" and more like flat out cosmic horror

[lconoclasts]

Can't add the exact timestamp (it's at the end) but they just??? Jump off screen???? Do they not die???

My general consensus with this fight is that it's just extra content and... in-between canonicity. They don't show up in the credits (in a scene) regardless if you kill them or not, and the pupils are alive(?) or possibly some other ones are alive as they could just look similar/be reused sprites

long speculation under the cut

Fitzroy is lore for sure which contradicts some of the implications about trancending that we get but like. Royal is kind of a dumbass AND is being told all of this from mother/one concern. There's multiple implications of the "ancestors" (both isi and Him followers) coming from somewhere else/resetting the planet and leaving instructions/tech for their respective people to use. Fitzroy seems to fit in the between stage before the concern has studied the tech, but AFTER the Ancestors arrived/reset the planet. In The Tower and the Bastion there are images of famous earth landmarks (taj mahal, new York, pyramids I think) implying that some sort of Earth was destroyed/minerals drained (more connections to the themes about environmentalism) and that humanity was "reset". RIGHT BUT CANONICITY. Fitzroy is more lore... If u want him to be. The true past of humanity is still foggy ESPECIALLY with conflicting views from Him followers and the Isi. The concern claims to have longer records of history, and has aforementioned images, but they shape it to their beliefs and leave out certain parts intentionally as well as only educate people deemed more faithful (concern staff) and censor/mysticize parts for the common folk and ESPECIALLY city one residents. Cough cough 'merica haha but not really I doubt he was thinking about Americans specifically. This is more likely a commentary on religion specifically they larger ones and how they shape societies views and history! (Remember when we used B.C?) I'm not going to say this is an effective commentary or a scathing remark on Christianity (I believe that Christianity is used as a reference as it's the poster child to westerners for what "religion" is. He probably intended for this to be about religion as a whole but like. Come on. It's definitely Christianity with a few changes to make it a "generic religion" especially with the focus on punishment and ascension to a "good place". They also use sin/sinners a few times but that may be for familiarity especially since he had a whole npc for explaining terminology) that aside. Canonicity. Again. The history behind the Starworm followers vs the Isi is intentionally left a mystery! Fitzroy and Leticia are real as fuck (if u think they're canon) and provide some ideas for what actually happened in history but who knows! I should get back to my conversation I got distracted haha.

[gn0thiseauton]

What's freakiest to me about bi/pan discourse is you won't find it anywhere else but online where a bunch of teenagers feel really called out if you're not the Model Gay and slurs are evil and send you to hell immediately. I bought my pan flag this year at pride which was very much organized by queer ppl and trans ppl, because outside of the scope of the internet, in the real world where you can touch real people (if they want it) and they can touch you back (should you want it) this is not an issue. Every queer group I'd hang out understood the nuance of language and sexuality and how it's ever evolving, growing with the number of people that understand themselves better and not every label applies to all.

But no I have to go on a blocking and unfollowing spree approximately every three months because I'm surrounded by people who hold grudges against their own without ever stopping to question why or why that's wrong.

[datastate]

please think before promoting a post that - while having an understandable critique of people who remove themselves (through headcanons) from a media to a degree that they may as well make ocs - includes “race headcanons” in this criticism.

[possumteeths]

when i was in middle school i was just obsessed with having white skin. i googled a thousand things, went to the asian beauty store to get skin bleaching products. I took weird fkn lemon baths and stuff. And like i guess I never realized how fucked up that was?

Every time I come across the term porcelain skin I want to throw something. Bodily descriptions in books these days are much much better than they were when I was twelve but fanfic is still very much in the past. Obviously i’m not inserting myself in everything I read, I like to be like fifteen steps away from the story but someone exceptionally beautiful is always described with such white centric terms and often the stupid term porcelain skin. Its annoying and stupid and can we stop saying this dang phrase lol.

[toytulini]

honestly sounds like an unwise choice of dog(young high energy likely due to breed temperament and lineage to to have a higher reactivity and distrust of strangers?) have in that environment and im glad hes apparently living with family friends now, hope that helps w the behavioral issues

[honkifyourelonely]

one of my biggest pet peeves is ppl not sticking to things they’ve committed to and well. it seems by going to Private Southern College i have put myself into hell

[iliveinprocrasti-nationn]

“i doubt you’ll have it” “my sister had it and she was fine” “you don’t have it. but if you do have it, it won’t be serious” shut up!!