#me when i had a fishing rod that made me extra good at fishing: wow im just like rupert from s7 pearl island of survivor

[fatcowboys]

last night i played board games w new friends one of which was a like castaway island game with also like survivor politics of voting for who dies when ur out of food and i was voted for who looked most likely to survive on a desert island which was SO gender bc there was some beard dudes there but i beat em w my bandana and Vibes (even tho it is incorrect i would die in two seconds but i will take the gender victory)

i made so many niche survivor references throughout the game and then me and an ally got murdered bc someone got Gun and then we got cannibalized by the last survivor of our alliance and Then i got resurrected and successfully made it off the island it was a wild game and So fun

[thesardonicwriter]

The Way It Is, Chapter 4 (Arthur Morgan x Reader)

After two weeks of nonstop treatment, Arthur’s face was finally starting to look better. You hadn’t risked another trip into town. Now that Arthur was up and moving, you wanted to be with him. The last thing that they needed was for him to think he was doing better than he actually was while you were gone and hurting himself again. Or worse, getting caught by the Pinkertons. You didn’t even want to imagine the torture they would go through before they were killed. It was sure to be a slow and painful death, especially after what Abigail had done to Milton. Arthur described it once, the gruesome reality of having someone’s brains sprayed directly onto his face. You had, of course, seen a bullet go through more than a couple of skulls, usually from your own gun, but you had always been a safe distance away and never really had to face the aftermath. You figured that whoever had found Milton hadn’t seen it up close or at all. No, there would be no mercy for them now.

You forced Arthur to his feet. He didn’t protest verbally, but you could see the complaint in his eyes. Even after years of going through this kind of shit, he was still reluctant. Imagine that. He was always so proactive on jobs and helping out others, it was strange to see him so unwilling to do something to help himself. You had no qualms about dragging him out of the cave if it was necessary. Thankfully, Arthur would listen to you. Usually. Even now, as he leaned heavily against you, he was still walking forward.

“That’s it. Just a couple more feet,” you promised.

“You said that already,” Arthur huffed.

“Gotta keep you on your toes. Literally. C’mon, what happened to Arthur Morgan? The guy who could intimidate the world’s strongest man? The guy who, if your ridiculous campfire stories are to be trusted, fought a lion?”

Arthur groaned. “Don’t remind me. That damned Margaret or whatever his name was nearly got me killed. Did get a lot of folk killed down at Emerald Ranch, all to give me some piece a junk for my troubles.”

“Sure he did.”

You chuckled softly. A part of you didn’t believe anything like that could ever have happened, but they were far enough east around that time that you would have believed anything was possible. You looked up at him. He was staring at the ground with an intense expression. All of his energy was focused on getting his leg back up to full strength. He’d been sitting around in that cave for too long. When he stood up for the first time, he immediately fell back on his ass, clutching his wounded leg and grimacing. You had gone out into the woods to take care of the Count after that. You found that the white steed had taken a liking to you. If he was close enough, he’d come to the sound of your voice. You made sure that that pretty white coat of his stayed white and lustrous. While you were out there in the woods, you fashioned a fallen branch into a kind of staff for Arthur to make walking a little easier. Now, he was insisting that he didn’t need it. You had some requests of your own, such as taking him down the mountain side and back. Not all the way, of course. Just a few meters away from the cave. It was still well within view. 

The real challenge was getting the food you cooked to stay in their stomachs. The food you’d bought at the general store had run out in a week. Since Arthur was awake, you felt comfortable going out to do some hunting. However, if you tried to do anything more than roast whatever game you’d managed to catch, it never turned out right. It wasn’t like they had a plethora of ingredients, but it wasn’t pleasant. It was, somewhat, better than having nothing. Hopefully, they’d be off this mountain soon.

“Hey, y’know what I could really go for?” Arthur asked.

“What?”

“Some fish. Dutch’s old rod was in with the Count’s things and I’ve always got mine handy. How’s about we head down to a nice place and try to catch somethin’?”

“Arthur Morgan, suggestin’ that we go fishin’? Now I’ve seen everything.” You didn’t bother trying to hide your grin. “Stay here, I’ll grab the rods.”

You quickly ran back to the cave, crawling inside and grabbing what they needed. You took a few scraps of bread and cheese, too, in case they needed some extra bait. Arthur was waiting somewhat eagerly for you to come back. You helped him move down the more tricky parts of the mountain. There were more than a few places that could get a little steep and slick if one step was wrong. They were following the small stream you’d discovered hidden in one of the many crevices. It was about 20 minutes of walking (mostly because they had to stop every now and then to let Arthur rest) to get to the spring the stream fed into.

Your breath was taken away as you looked at the sight before you. Crystal blue water stretched out just far enough. Vegetation was spread all around them. Some of the plants you knew, but most you couldn’t name off the top of your head. The water reflected the beauty around them. It was somewhat obscured, but that only added to it. The stream fed into the spring like a small waterfall, ensuring that the area would never be completely silent. Not even the lowest part of the rocks reached the surface, standing several inches above the water. A perfect fishing spot. 

“Wow,” you spoke quietly.

“Wow indeed,” Arthur agreed.

Without another word, they both put together their rods, sharing the bait. You moved a few paces away to keep their lines from getting crossed. They sat in silence for a long time. It was comfortable. Perfect, unlike that first night Arthur had been awake. In a place like this, it was easy to forget fear and just… live. Really live and be human for a few fleeting moments. That was all that you really wanted now. Precious moments, surrounded by beauty.

Arthur stopped fidgeting and looked up. You glanced back at him. He was staring at the sky in wonder. His mouth was slightly agape and blue-green eyes were wide. You turned to see what he was looking at. 

The sun was slowly setting in the west. From where they were, they actually had a pretty good view of it. The fading sun cast a glow of orange over the tops of the trees. The usual blue of the sky was melting into the oranges and yellows. The clouds were a light pinkish colour, lazily floating towards nothing. Purples meshed with reds, light and dark came together and it was only for a few moments. Before anything else could be seen or said, the moment was gone. 

Arthur closed his mouth. There was a soft smile traced across his lips still. You stared at the retreating sun for a moment. It really was something else. No matter how many sunsets you saw, you would never get used to the sight of them. Each one of them was so different from the last, so unique.

“I missed the sun,” Arthur said.

“We can see it from the cave,” you shrugged.

“Yeah, but you know that ain’t the same as standing in a place like this and watchin’ it. Don’t try and fool yourself now.”

“Nah, I s’pose not. We better be headin’ back now. I don’t think any of our fish friends are interested in cheese.”

“Hold on! I’ve got somethin’!”

Arthur pulled back on the rod, reeling in whatever it was he had quickly. You watched in anticipation. Neither of them were expecting for his leg to give out at that exact moment.

Arthur was pulled into the water. He landed with a loud splash that sent water up over the rocks and onto you’s boots. Dread overtook you as you looked into the water. Arthur sputtered when he came back to the surface, wiping water from his eyes. He gave his head a good shake and held up the fishing rod.

“Had to cut the line to keep the rod,” he said.

“You okay?” you asked him. You hoped that your voice didn’t sound as worried as you felt.

“Yeah, I’m good. C’mon, help me outta here.”

You made your way down the rocks closer to the water’s edge. You found the spot closest to the water and held out your hand. Arthur swam over to you. His fingers wrapped around your wrist. You started to pull back but was met with a much greater force pulling you in. You barely had time to brace yourself before you were completely submerged. It took you a moment to get your bearings under water. Her eyes stung but you needed to look around. You found the surface and swam quickly. As soon as you were up, you took a deep gulp of fresh air into your lungs. Arthur was laughing like a madman. It wasn’t often that you heard Arthur laugh, but it did nothing to make you less angry at him. You sent a wave of water his way.

“You dumbass! Now we’re both soaked!” You complained.

“Ah, you’re enjoyin’ yourself, don’t lie.” Arthur was still smiling and trying not to laugh. “You need to do that, y’know. Take a little time for yourself. God knows you’ve spent enough of it on an old fool like me.”

“Fool? Yes. Old? No. If you’re old, then so am I and I ain’t ready for that conversation yet. And as for lookin’ out for you? If I didn’t do it, who would?” Arthur opened his mouth to say something back. “All right, will this shut you up? I’ll promise to watch you if you promise to watch me. We’ll take care of each other. Deal?”

You held out your hand expectantly. Arthur didn’t hesitate to take it in his own. His palms were rough and calloused. You were sure that yours felt much the same to him. They shook on it, making it official. You pulled your hand away. As Arthur turned around, you put your hands on his shoulders and pushed down with all of your strength. He was completely submerged. You let out a laugh of your own until you felt his hand on your ankle. Just like that, you were back underwater. You could just barely make out Arthur swimming back for air. You did the same. You pushed your hair out of your face. It was the first time that you had smiled in what felt like months.

You laid on your back and let yourself float. You looked up at the night sky. If Arthur was feeling this good, then their days on the mountain were numbered. If it was just the two of them, they could get off with relative ease. They could even make it back west, if they tried. Find someplace far away from the trains and settle there. Together. Make some kind of a life for whatever time that they had left. You wasn’t going back to being an outlaw. You knew that you could, if you really wanted to. You had been doing well for yourself before Arthur found you. Somehow, it felt wrong to think about going back to that life without the rest of the gang by your side.

Arthur entwined his fingers with yours. You looked over at him. He was staring at the sky, too. As you looked back up, you wondered what was causing that pensive look on his face. Was he worried about the same things you were? All you knew was that he was there and present. With his hand in your own, you could forget about the rest of the world. It was just the two of them in this moment, in their little secret spring. They were unburdened by the need for conversation. The only sound was the soft trickle of the stream.

Arthur let you go and swam to the edge. He pulled himself out of the water. Arthur shook his body like he was a dog, running his fingers through his hair. He leaned down and held out a hand to you. You swam over tentatively and took it. You still didn’t entirely trust Arthur now, not after that stunt. But there were no tricks up Arthur’s sleeve, not this time. He pulled you up with little difficulty, considering his leg wound. 

You stood next to him for a moment, inches away from being flush against his chest. They had been forced to be close together over the past couple of weeks, sure, but this felt different somehow. You took a step back to get rid of the feeling. You didn’t like it and you didn’t like who was causing it.

On the sodden trek back to their temporary home, you kept your arms tight around yourself. By the time they got back to the cave, you were shivering. You made your way into the cave and started gathering up the blankets.

“Make sure to get out of those wet clothes, Arthur. The last thing we need is one of us catchin’ pneumonia,” you warned.

He nodded, facing towards the back of the cave as he started to unbutton his shirt. You stared at his back for longer than you should have. When you turned to face your own wall, your cheeks were burning. Quickly, you took off your own clothes and wrapped one of the blankets around yourself tightly. You set the clothes close to the entrance. You sat against one of the walls and leaned your head back. You let yourself dream of the virgin west for a short while before taking watch.

[lightisdays2k]

Day 1: Role Reversal

Hi. Burning Phoenix here. So I lack a tumblr but I still wanted to share this. My take on Day 1: Role Reversal

He loved fishing. It was no secret that when he was not working on his duties, he would either be at the arcade, or by a lake with his gear. It was relaxing and enjoyable, no matter what his friends say. There was just something about enjoying a good, clear day while standing by the water’s edge and waiting for the perfect catch to come along. And the power struggle between angler, and the fish.

“Again with the fishing…”

Noctis nearly jumped at the voice and turned to face the culprit. He cleared his throat and regained his composure. “Hey Light... I thought the princess needed her beauty sleep.” He teased.

Princess Éclair ‘Lightning’ Farron gave the dark-haired young man a frown. “You’re the one who enjoys sleep more than a cat does. Makes me wonder how you of all people managed to make it into the Guardian Corps.”

“That hurts my feelings,” Noctis pouted, and reeled his line in. “I’m pretty good at my job, and you know it.”

Lightning crossed her arms. “Right. The guy who enjoys rushing off to grab his gear whenever he sees a body of water that’s deeper than a swimming pool, spends his gil on arcade machines, can’t keep his own apartment clean, and sleeps the day away.”

“You know you love me anyway,” He teased with a boyish grin.

Although Lightning would never say it out loud, she could admit that she did find him decently attractive. She did have eyes after all. But far be it from her to just babble like a school girl with a crush. She already had Fang for that, who enjoyed catching the eye of both men and women alike.

“Don’t push it, Noct.” Lightning sighed and moved to stand beside him.

He grinned and cast his line again, hoping for better luck. Especially now that Lightning was beside him. He enjoyed her company; she may have been stern and sharp-tongued. By-the-book and no-nonsense, but he had seen the other side to her shine through despite all that. Though he had to admit they did not really have the best first impressions of each other. Especially after she had learned he was one of the Guardian Corps, and bodyguard assigned to her.

Lightning had protested, stating she already had her retainers in Oerba Yun Fang, Oerba Dia Vanille, and her own sister, Princess Serah Farron.

As the older and protective sibling, Lightning had strongly protested against her younger sister acting as guard and retainer. But the Farron bloodline was a stubborn lot, and Serah argued against the firstborn heir until Lightning had to eventually give in. Somehow.

“Why don’t you try it? We’re here in the Sunleth Waterscape, the place is all…uh…’naturey’, and the water’s clear. Perfect for fishing.” Noctis said and offered her the fishing rod.

“You’ve been spending too much time around Vanille, I see.” Lightning raised an eyebrow, but accepted the offered fishing pole and took Noctis’ place as he stood back to let her do the fishing herself.

The guardian chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. “Well…better than hanging around Fang too much.”

Unable to help it, Lightning let out a chuckle. “Yeah. I think we can all agree to that. She’s a bad influence enough already.”

Noctis blushed, knowing what his charge was referring to. He waved her off defensively. “Those magazines weren’t mine! Fang shoved them into my hands…!”

“I didn’t say they were,” The princess said calmly, never taking her eyes off the line and the lure bobbing in the water. “Before you came along, she dumped the same crap on me back then.”

Noctis stared at her and blinked. Had he heard that right? “She…did?”

Lightning nodded. “She did. I once punched someone who was…let’s just say, coming on too strongly, and Fang decided I probably didn’t realize how flirting and sexual intercourse worked so she tried giving me erotic magazines, then started giving me graphic details of how to please someone’s genitals and other body parts, as a way to ‘educate’ me about the birds and the bees.”

The guardian snorted. “The stone-cold princess…keeping erotic material and listening to details of how sex works?”

Lightning nodded. “Yeah. Pretty much.”

“Great… Damn it, Fang.” Noctis muttered.

“Don’t let it get to you. She’s always been wild and shameless. Be glad it wasn’t condoms from her secret stash that she threw at you.” The lure was suddenly pulled under and Lightning began reeling in her catch, her arms tensing as she began her struggle.

Somehow, Noctis was too distracted by the idea of Lightning owning dirty magazines and the fact Fang had a stash of condoms—for Etro knows whatever reason and activities she gets up to—to even react to the fact the princess was reeling in a seemingly big catch. He shook his head from any unsavoury thoughts.

Lightning was a grown woman; it was none of his business what she did in her spare time. Not that any of it mattered to him. It was just his instinct as her personal guard to think on it, he reasoned to himself. He was just thinking cautiously, that was all. At least, that was what he believed.

The sound of splashing finally snapped him out of his daze and he looked over to see Lightning pulling something in, close to the shore. She dug her heels in as the fish began to fight even harder. She looked so focused that Noctis dared not interfere, though he was tempted to.

When the catch finally made it to the shallows, Noctis stepped out into the water to help with pulling it as the fight left the creature.

It wasn’t a giant, but it was an impressive catch nonetheless. Once it flopped onto dry land, Lightning exhaled and lowered her arms. It had been quite the workout, but nothing she wasn’t used to. She looked over at Noctis who was grinning at the prize.

“This is awesome! It’s pretty big one too. Good one, Light!” He sounded very eager and excited as he pulled it over to her. His eyes sparkled with joy at seeing such a great catch. Fishing really was such a passion for him…

Lightning turned her head away as she handed him the rod. “Yeah well…thanks for letting me try it out.” She knew how protective and clingy he was over his fishing gear.

“I bet Serah will have a blast in cooking this!” Still happy with Lightning’s results, Noctis turned to his charge.

Lightning shrugged. “I’m sure. After all, there’s no way Serah would allow Fang near the cookery.”

Noctis laughed. “Well her behemoth ribs are pretty good. I guess it’s her homemade barbeque sauce. Even if it’s the only thing she can cook up.”

“Oh really? Then I guess there’s no need for me to cook up extra of my behemoth steak. Then again, it means more for me,” Lightning mused to herself.

At the remark, Noctis’ eyes widened. “That doesn’t mean I don’t like your steaks! They’re great, really! Please don’t take away my steak privileges…”

It was one of his secret little pleasures, tasting Lightning’s cooking. Or rather, her steaks. Like Fang, it was all she knew how to cook, but it was rare for Lightning to even bother with the cooking since Serah was the better chef between them.

Lightning pretended to think about it. “I don’t know…”

“Please?” He gave her the best puppy eyes he could muster.

“Fine. On one condition though…” Lightning faced him, crossing her arms.

Noctis smiled hopefully and stared at her. “Sure. Anything.”

The princess gave him a look. “Eat your vegetables.”

Now that was a deal-breaker. Noctis hated vegetables; they were evil in his eyes, terrible things that should never be put in anyone’s plate, let alone mouth.

“Anything except that.” Noctis huffed.

Lightning shrugged and turned away. “In that case, I’ll head back to camp. You can bring the seafood back.”

Noctis pouted at her retreating back. Lightning always did like playing hard-to-get. Stubborn Farron; it was in the blood. Serah could be the same as well, but Lightning was like a stubborn cat. Good thing he liked cats.

He hastily picked up the fish and grunted as he felt its weight. Thankfully it was not too heavy, but it still had an impressive bulk. Once got a hold of the catch, Noctis went after Lightning.

The princess paused and looked over her shoulder, letting her bodyguard catch up. She had to internally admit, she was rather fond of him. He was endearing at times, despite how much of a lazy bum he could be. He was indeed a skilled fighter, even able to match Lightning herself.

Not that she would ever admit that to him out loud. She did not need him growing a big head; his hair did enough of that already.

When they reached camp, Fang and Vanille were up and about, while Serah was just leaving her tent.

“Good morning, lovebirds!” Vanille waved in greeting.

Fang smirked when she saw the two walking back. “Hey you two! Where’d ya sneak off to? Went and got busy?”

“Shut it,” Lightning snapped and went to greet her sister.

Noctis groaned at Fang’s words and dumped the would-be meal down on the table set up beside the tents. It made a big thump as it made contact with the surface.

Serah made her way over to inspect the catch. “Wow, now that’s something. Good job, Noctis.”

“Actually…your sister caught it.” He rubbed the back of his neck.

The youngest princess turned to her sibling and smirked teasingly. “Did she now? Well, I’m glad you managed to find time to enjoy some recreational fishing, Sis. Especially with Noctis around to teach you.”

“Don’t push it, Serah. There’s only so far your sister privileges can take you,” Lightning warned with a frown.

Serah grinned and pushed Noctis towards Lightning. “I’ll get to work on making us a meal. In the meantime, you two play nice, okay?”

“Ohohoho! Rose Junior’s got ya there! Don’t be shy, Light. It’s normal to give in to one’s feral needs.” Fang winked at the two.

Vanille nudged her longtime friend. “Don’t tease, Fang. Let them have their moment.”

After the redhead pulled Fang away, leaving Lightning and Noctis with some breathing room. Of course Serah kept her head down, keeping herself busy with cleaning and cutting up the fish for the day’s large breakfast. However, that did not stop a grin from forming.

Lightning pinched the bridge of her nose. “I’m surrounded by…”

“Uh…yeah.” Noctis sighed. “Well except for your sister.”

Lightning shook her head. “She’s lucky I care about her so damn much.”

“Well, I care too. She is the other princess and all.”

An awkward silence followed the two. But thankfully, none of their companions decided to say a word. For now.

Noctis could not help but steal a glance or two at the princess. It still boggled his mind that a princess preferred to be referred to as ‘Lightning’. Despite the fact she did have a proper birth name, this moniker she took up was the name she preferred over the one she had been given. Strange, and yet it did suit her. She moved like her namesake and she even acted like it.

She had the grace and elegance of a wild cat and though she lacked the proper manners of a lady, that same fierce grace allowed her to seemingly get away with it.

But if anybody was even less of a lady, it was Fang. She was the definitive definition of a ‘wild woman’. Shameless and just full of teasing comments. Ever since figuring out Noctis’ infatuation with the eldest princess, Fang could never resist poking fun at the dark-haired guardian. Even Lightning was not safe from the relentless teasing. Only Vanille was their saving grace, but even she seemed to have caught wind of the hidden affections and enjoyed having her chance at a little tease or two.

Sometimes Lightning wondered how any of her companions, with the exception of Serah, managed to even reach the titles and ranks they had achieved. But it did prove despite their…sometimes childish tendencies, they were not ones to be trifled with.

“So…” Noctis began but trailed off awkwardly.

“So…?” Lightning raised an eyebrow at him.

Serah rolled her eyes at the sad display. She was well aware of her sister’s fondness for Noctis, but being the eldest Farron heir, and a Farron in general, Lightning was ever-so stubborn about it. She could openly feel like a regular woman and not someone of royal blood, thanks to the dark-haired bodyguard of hers, and she was able to enjoy the company of someone she could trust and treat her well as a person. Despite the growing affections, it seems even Lightning herself was either unaware of them, or she merely tried to push it to the back of her mind.

However, Serah could say the same about Noctis. The man clearly had a crush on her sister and Lightning was well aware of it. Noctis may be what one would typically describe as the dark and handsome type, though he acted anything but. He was sweet and shy and was an everyday man. Despite his duties as the personal guard of the princesses of Bodhum, Noctis enjoyed the simple pleasures life had to offer. He could make friends easily if he wanted to and he was capable of being serious when the situation called for it. And yet he was unable to properly confront Lightning with his affections without stumbling like a schoolboy.

Serah added the finishing touches to her seafood dish and decided that the two lovebirds had enough embarrassment for the day. For now.

“Alright, everyone! Time to eat!” The youngest princess announced.

Lightning and Noctis glanced over at her before exchanging looks at each other. They’ll get a chance to talk. Later.

The princesses and their entourage then found themselves at the center of their campsite, enjoying Serah’s home cooking away from home. They still had many miles and days before they reached Eden, but the journey itself was definitely going to be a memorable one.

[ahatintimestorybook]

Ebb and Flow Chap.4

Hey everyone! Sorry it's been awhile!! Here is the next chapter!!!

Thanks to my good friend tusenskona for beta reading for me! ^^

Enjoy!!! 

Please support me on ko-fi and join my discord!!

Evening fell on Subcon, and Vanessa was at the entrance of the pier waiting on Willow, Lucas, and Hali. They promised to show up by sundown, and sundown came and went but still no sign of the three. “Where are they?” Vanessa asked herself out loud. She watched the sunset slowly dip down as stars were starting to dot the sky while the trio remained late.

Though one member of the trio started to creep up behind her and cover her eyes. Vanessa yelped, ready to punch who tried to shield her eyes. “Guess who?” Willow teased. Vanessa frowned and removed her friend’s hands from her face.

“Please don’t do that again!” Vanessa squeaked out, crossing her arms.

Willow giggled. “Sorry. I was getting some new clothes for Hali and finding something nice for Lucas.” She explained. Vanessa looked to see Hali wearing the purple starry dress she saw earlier today. She then looked up at Lucas wearing a dark red button up shirt, dark purple shorts and purple flip flops.

“Willow thought this would look nice on me for our date.” Lucas mentioned, rubbing the back of his head. “Do you like it?” He chuckled.

“I love it!” Vanessa beamed, giving Lucas a hug. Lucas blushed and nervously hugged Vanessa back, which made the young girl blush as well.

“Love birds.” Hali mumbled, as she rolled her eyes. Vanessa whipped her head towards the little girl the moment she heard the comment, who in turn replied by whistling and looking away.

Vanessa rolled her eyes back and took Lucas’ hand, leading him inside the pier to have fun. Willow giggled and put her arm around Hali. “Ready to go in and have fun?” She asked. Hali nodded in reply and went in.

Hali’s eyes widened at everything the pier had to offer; rides, food, games, everything that could be fun. It reminded her of the fairs that happened at home every year! She wondered if human world events were similar to the ones in the Sapphire Kingdom, or if they were different. She wasn’t sure what to try first, a game or some snacks in one of the food booths.

“Everything looks so fun, I don’t know what to pick first.” Hali told Willow.

“Well, what do you feel like doing the most?”

Hali looked and saw a Scrambler ride that looked similar to a seashell ride her father put her and Lucas on at the last fair. “That one!” She exclaimed pointing at the ride.

Willow laughed. “Well you’re in luck, that’s one of my favorite rides!” She exclaimed. The two girls giggled and waited in line for the ride. Once they were on said ride, they laughed and screamed out in excitement and joy.. After getting off the ride, the two were dizzy, but still giggling. “Man, I feel sick.” Willow slurred.

“Me too.” Hali slurred as well. The two decided to sit down and relax for a bit so their vision wasn’t swimming. Even with a few minutes passing, Hali was still dizzy, so Willow decided to go get the two of them soda in hopes that Hali would feel better.

“This may help you feel a bit better.” Willow handed her a cup of soda. Hali took the soda and took a sip. Her eyes widened as the taste washed through her mouth.

“This is delicious! I love this flavor!”

“It’s orange soda flavor! One of my personal favorites!” Willow exclaimed.

“I never tried orange flavored soda before.” Hali told her. “As a matter of fact I never had soda before.” Hali kept drinking the soda all the way to the point it was empty. She sighed as she noticed that the cup was empty. “Could I have another?”

Willow blinked in surprise. She didn’t finish her soda yet, yet this young girl finished her soda in just a few seconds. Willow giggled, “Sure.” She replied. Hali handed Willow her cup and waited for her to come back with more soda. As she was getting more soda for Hali, the latter looked at a game booth where there was a bunch of colorful seahorse plush.

Hali got up from the bench and went to look to see how to get the seahorse plush. The way to get the plush was to play a game, where you fish for a golden fish. It seemed easy enough, if the golden fish wasn’t surrounded by so many red and blue fish. “Would you like to play, little girl?” The man running the booth asked. Hali looked up at the tall buff man, nervously.

“Um, sure?” Hali replied, nervously. The man handed her the fishing rod, and looking at it saw there was a small hoop at the end. Hali then focused on the golden fish, and taking a deep breath she put the fishing rod into the water, and quickly reeled it in.

The guy running the game booth dropped open his mouth seeing Hali caught the golden fish on her first try. “Y-you win!” The guy stuttered, still in shock. “Which one did you want?”

Hali looked at all the colorful seahorse plushies and didn’t know which one to pick. She was having trouble deciding on the purple one or the blue one. “I’ll take...the purple one!” She exclaimed. The man sighed and handed the purple seahorse plush to the young girl. Hali giggled and hugged her plushie as she ran to Willow showing her the seahorse plush. “Look what I won!” She cheered.

Willow was just coming back to get Hali a refill of her soda, and smiled proudly seeing she won one of the games at the pier. “Nice job, Hali!” Willow cheered. Hali giggled as she hugged her plushie tight. Hali then saw her brother, who looked very dizzy as Vanessa was walking by, hugging his arm tight.

“Lucas! Look!” Hali beamed shoving her seahorse plushie in front of her brother and Vanessa. Vanessa was annoyed seeing Lucas’s little sister shove the plush right in front of them. Lucas, however didn’t care he smiled and laughed before ruffling Hali’s hair.

“Nice job, Hali!” He beamed. Hali laughed, and tried to force her older brother’s hand away from her, but nope he grabbed and held her tight making her laugh harder. Vanessa gave a small glare at Hali for “rudely” interrupting her.

Willow noticed her best friend’s glare and went up to her. “Ness, you okay?” Willow asked.

“Yeah I’m fine.” Vanessa replied, still upset over Hali.

“I know you're not.” Willow replied. “You're jealous again.”

“I’m not!” Vanessa replied back, but not loud so Lucas and Hali could hear her. Willow glared back at her, and Vanessa sighed. “Fine, I’m a bit jealous of her. I’m trying to spend time with Lucas, but he cares so much for her!”

Willow sighed, if she wasn’t holding two cups of soda now, she’d pull her friend into a hug. “Look, I know how attached and jealous you get with people and how it ruined your relationship with...you know.” She explained, not wanting to say the name of Vanessa’s previous relationship.

Vanessa knew what her best friend was going to say, and crossed her arms turning away. “I thought I told you not to say his name.” She reminded her friend.

“I know.” Willow sighed. “However, they are siblings. So could you at least be nice to Hali?” She asked.

Vanessa sighed, the glare was still on her face, but she nodded in agreement. “I’ll try.” Willow gave a small smile and went over to Hali to give her, her refilled soda. The latter smiled and took her soda drinking more of it.

“Don’t drink too much of it. Soda is very sugary, and you need to go to bed.” Willow reminded Hali.

“Well, you’re the one who gave me a refill.” Hali reminded the flower girl. Willow rolled her eyes knowing Hali was right, she did give her the extra soda.

A bit later, the four spent the night playing the games. Lucas had trouble winning a few and only giving Vanessa smaller plushies, while Hali was winning the games and winning big prizes. Lucas was getting a bit disappointed he wasn’t winning, and Vanessa saw that.

“May I try?” Vanessa asked.

“Sure.” Lucas replied, giving a shrug, handing Vanessa the baseball. Vanessa glared and threw the ball hard knocking down all the pins. Lucas’s eyes widen seeing Vanessa knock down all the pins in one throw. “Wow.”

“Like it?”

Lucas was speechless and nodded in reply slowly. Vanessa pointed to the white and blue bunny plush and gave it to Lucas before giving him a kiss on the cheek. The young man blushed and gave a smile to Vanessa.

“Hey!” Hali shouted. Vanessa and Lucas turned to the young girl as she pointed at something. “Could we go on that?” Vaneesa’s eyes widened seeing the roller coaster Hali wanted to go on. Lucas laughed seeing that it looked fun.

“Want to do it?” Lucas asked. Hali nodded. “Let’s go!” He beamed. The two were ready to run off, while Vanessa and Willow slowly followed them behind, afraid of going on the rollercoaster.

The four waited in line, while Hali and Lucas were excited Vanessa and Willow were nervous going on this coaster. They’ve been on it before, but the results at the end of the ride were...dizzy. “You two, okay?” Lucas asked the girls, seeing them nervous.

“We’re fine.” They both squeaked in reply.

Lucas saw they weren’t fine and yet were scared. “If you guys don’t want to go, we’re not forcing you to go on.” He told them.

“W-we can go on!” Vanessa said out loud. “We’re fine, right Will?” She asked, nudging her friend.

Willow laughed nervously, “y-yeah.” She lied.

“I know you girls are not okay. You don’t have to lie to me.” Lucas told them. Vanessa and Willow were surprised that he knew they were hiding their fears.

“How did you know?” Vanessa asked.

Lucas gave a soft chuckle. “I’m not dumb, I just know when others aren’t feeling comfortable.” He explained.

“I guess we could sit this one out.” Willow said. Vanessa looked at her friend before looking at Lucas, who looked at her and her friend with concern. Vanessa however, was having trouble deciding if she should sit out with her best friend or suck it up and join Lucas and Hali on the rollercoaster.

Vanessa sighed and nodded. Just before Lucas and Hali boarded on the ride, the latter gave Vanessa and Willow all of the plushies she won before jumping in on the rollercoaster. Once the siblings boarded the ride, Hali waved bye to Vanessa as she and Lucas were lifted up on the ride. Vanessa forced a smile as she waved back to the girl, before glaring at her and marching out of the rollercoaster line.

It has been about five or so minutes and Lucas and Hali haven’t come back yet from the rollercoaster. They were back on it again after going on it the first time, and went on a few more times. After like five more times, the siblings were done with the ride.

Willow and Vanessa were waiting by the docks for the siblings. Vanessa was being impatient over Lucas and Hali having fun on the rollercoaster. The siblings came back laughing after all the fun they were having. “Sorry we took so long, Hali saw another ride and we quickly went on that before coming back here.” Lucas explained.

“It was this launcher ride, and we got launched right into the sky!” Hali exclaimed as she jumped high in the sky.

Willow giggled and ruffled Hali’s hair. “Well, sounds like you guys had fun.”

Vanessa rolled her eyes and glared. She should’ve been having fun with Lucas not Hali. “Yeah, fun.” She said sarcastically.

“Well, Hali and I are hungry so I’m going to grab some food.” Lucas replied. “You girls want anything?” He asked.

“I’m good.” Vanessa replied, she wasn’t hungry.

“Me too!” Willow replied as well.

Lucas nodded and went off to get food. “I’ll be right back, Hali.” He said as he booped his little sister on the nose. Hali giggled as she saw her brother walk off to go grab food.

Vanessa glared, but it quickly faded as she gave a smile as she walked to Hali and put her hand on her shoulder. “Hali dear, could we talk?” She asked. Hali sensed this wasn’t good, but before she could decline Vanessa pulled her aside and glared at her. “Listen here, you may be Lucas’s little sister, but I love your brother, so stop getting all snuggly with him.” She threatened.

Hali glared back. “Hey, he’s my brother, he just met you today so let me bond with my brother and you just continue being his little girlfriend.” She spat back.

Willow winced at that and went in between the girls, “Girls, calm down let’s not get feisty.”

Then the worst happened, out of anger Vanessa pushed Hali into the water. Willow gasped and glared at her best friend, “Vanessa!” Willow shouted.

“What?” Vanessa asked, turning to her friend. “She deserved it!” As Vanessa was venting to her friend, Hali popped out of the water, glaring at her. She pulled out a seashell and started mumbling a spell. Soon the water started to reach up at Vanessa, which Willow realized.

“V-Vanessa?” Willow asked, pointing down at her friend’s feet. Vanessa looked down and saw the water surrounding Vanessa before pulling her down to the water with her. She let out as a scream as Willow grabbed her in hopes of saving her best friend, but the water was too strong for them and soon the two were dragged down to the ocean. The bubbles started to foam and glow before fading away.

A bit later Lucas arrived with the food smiling and humming, but once he made it back where the girls were he saw they were gone. He heard bubbling and looked down. He put the two together and realized Hali went back into the sea and might have brought Willow and Vanessa with her.

“Oh great.” Lucas mumbled, he put the food down and took off his shirt before diving in after the girls.

[ahtohallan-calling]

chapter 3 of to see you home is here! [kristanna / m / aka selkie au]

chapter 1 / 2

In the city, she would have taken the measurements, written them down, sent them off with a maid, and the paper-wrapped package would have been waiting on her doorstep by nightfall.

“This broad across,” she said, holding her hands nearly twice her own shoulder-width apart. 

The shopkeeper nodded. “How tall?”

She stepped back towards the door, eyeing it, and raised up slightly on her toes so she could tap a spot only a few inches below the top of the frame. “To there, I think.”

The man nodded. “We have nothing that size in stock.”

In the city, they would have made it for her within a day, and she would have paid the exorbitant price for such fast work without batting an eye.

“But,” he went on, “perhaps I have something upstairs in my trunk.”

He thudded upstairs, leaving her to look around the sparse offerings of the general store. Most of it was scattered offerings of fishing gear; nets, rods, a few tools to repair those, and two pairs of black rubber boots that looked secondhand. There were a handful of farm implements, a few stacks of basic clothing and textiles, ropes and nails and hammers and, for some reason, a women’s straw hat with an incongruously bright red ribbon.

She drifted past it all-- it was meant for the rare newcomer, or for when a well-used item finally gave up the ghost-- to the shelves of food. There were glimmering jars of pickled white fish she knew the shopkeeper made in his own kitchen, tins of tomato paste that cost so much she raised her eyebrows, and dusty sacks of potatoes and onions she was sorting through when she heard the heavy footsteps return.

“I’ve got one set of clothes,” the shopkeeper said. “From my younger days. It’ll do well enough if he’s not particularly vain.”

She nodded. “Don’t think he has the choice to be right now.”

The man chuckled at that. “What else’ll you be needing, then?”

“Three pounds of potatoes and one of onions. And some more clean bandages.”

“And how much have you brought me?”

She shook her head. “Not a trade this time. Haven’t had time to fish.”

“Twenty pieces, then. The clothes are a gift.”

“I don’t need charity.”

“Aye, but this sailor you’ve found does,” he pointed out. “If he’s washed up without even a stitch of clothing and no boat in sight. And I’ll have to say after the preacher’s last visit it’ll weigh on me if I don’t do my part to help.”

She raised her eyebrows as she handed over the coin and collected her bounty. “What’d he say, then? Hellfire and brimstone?”

The man gave her an inscrutable look. “‘Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.’”

She shoved her packages into the sack and bid him farewell, the wooden door creaking shut behind her, and that was that. 

In the city, the maid would have spread rumors of the male guest she had squirreled away in her rooms, and by the end of the night she’d have had half a dozen callers coming to inquire after him or to offer her sanctimonious advice about propriety or trying to sneak past her when she fetched tea from the kitchen to get a good look at him. And there’d be a mention of the whole scandal in the society pages, and her sister would be cross with her, never mind the horrible lecture from her mother.

Then again, she’d never have gotten to this point at all. A strange man washing up entirely naked would have been taken to a hospital if he was lucky and the madhouse if he wasn’t, interrogated for hours on end by the police, ended up in the papers and maybe the circus if things had been particularly dull lately, and she never would have encountered him at all apart from seeing an inked illustration in the paper that might have caught her eye for a moment as she watched her father reading it across the breakfast table.

She shifted the sack of potatoes where it was slung over her shoulder. She’d never much cared for the city.

----

The sound of the door opening woke him up. For the first time, when his eyes met hers, they were clear. 

She set down the bags she’d carried for the last two miles, rolling her shoulders to soften the ache that had already burrowed deep into them. “Good to see you awake,” she said, crossing over to him.

As she knelt in front of him, for the first time, he opened his mouth and spoke, his voice hoarse but still somehow softer than she’d expected. She didn’t recognize the language, and so she shook her head, and his brows drew together. He tried another tongue, this one sharper around the edges, but she still didn’t recognize it. Frustrated, he leaned back against the bed, his brown eyes looking darker than ever.

“Sorry to disappoint,” she said, raising the back of her hand to his forehead again. To her relief, at last it was cool. “Your fever’s broken, though,” she said, surprising even herself when she smiled.

He looked a little surprised, too, his eyes questioning as they stared intently into hers. “Good,” she said, hoping he’d at least understand something as simple as that. “It’s good.”

Still he just looked at her. With a sigh, she rose to her feet and went back over to the bags, pulling out the clothes the shopkeeper had given her. She tossed them to the stranger, and he caught them in his broad hands. 

“I do have some sense of decency, you know,” she said. “Can’t let you keep lying around bare as the day you were born, especially now that you’ll be able to get up.”

Already he was rising, the blanket dropping to the floor. She turned away as quickly as she could, but not before catching a glimpse once more of his well-muscled frame, gilded around the edges by the late afternoon sunlight slanting through the lone window. 

Sort of a shame to keep that covered up, she thought, a blush rising in her cheeks when she felt the temptation to steal another glance at him. He certainly wasn’t the first naked man she’d seen, but it’d been a long while now since she’d wanted to touch one, wanted to know if his shoulders were as solid as they looked.

You know how he feels, idiot, she reminded herself, you dragged him up here and bandaged him, didn’t you?

He spoke again, only one short word, and she turned back to find him fully dressed in the shopkeeper’s clothes. To her surprise, they didn’t hang on him quite as loosely as she’d expected; his shoulders nearly filled out the worn white shirt, though the vee at the collar dipped low enough to reveal the bandage still on his chest. He’d tucked it in to the black pants so it didn’t billow so badly around his waist; the extra padding was probably the only thing keeping them on. His feet were still bare, though, and she mentally kicked herself for forgetting a pair of the boots. 

“It’ll do for now, I suppose,” she said, tearing her eyes away from him as she crossed to the wall and pointed to the weathered map pinned above the stove. “Look here, now. Let’s see if we can get you sorted out.”

After a moment, he stood behind her. She’d known perfectly well he would loom over her, the top of her head only barely rising to his shoulder, but it was a different thing altogether to feel the sheer size of him behind her, close enough that she could hear the faint sound of his breathing.

She stood on her toes and pointed to northern tip of the peninsula she called home, glancing back over her shoulder. “That’s us,” she explained, and despite the language barrier she knew from the way his eyebrows shot up that he understood her perfectly well.

He reached over her and tapped his own finger several inches away, on the southern end of a small island, before reaching back and setting his hand on his chest. 

“Wow,” she breathed, turning back to look at him. “You’re a long way from home, aren’t you?”

A sadness grew in his eyes as he continued gazing at the map. She caught her bottom lip between her teeth as it struck her exactly how difficult it would be for him to return home with no boat or money to buy one with, no way of explaining his situation if he didn’t even understand the most rudimentary words of the language spoken here, not even a friendly face to keep him company.

Except you, she reminded herself. You can help.

“It’s alright,” she found herself saying, and at last he did look at her. She smiled at him again, hoping it did something to comfort him. “You’re welcome here, long as you need. You’ll have to start helping now, of course, not with the light but maybe with the fishing and some of the chores, and I get a bit of an allowance from the government each month, so maybe I can set some aside for you, or you can do odd jobs for the folks in town and--”

His eyebrows drew closer and closer together with each word that escaped her lips. Finally she stuttered to a halt, realizing how utterly useless it was to ramble at him like this. Old habits die hard, she thought morosely, a little embarrassed at how quickly her old annoying tendencies had resurfaced.

She set a hand against her chest, just over her heart. “Anna,” she said quietly. “That’s me. I’m Anna.”

He nodded. “Anna,” he said, testing it out for himself, and a prickle ran down her spine at the sound of her name in his mouth.

“Yes. And you?” she asked, pointing at him.

He only shook his head.

“Anna,” she said again, tapping her own chest. “Anna.”

She pointed at him, but he shook his head again. 

“You haven’t got a name?” she questioned. “Not at all?”

He shrugged, looking apologetic, and she sighed. “Never mind, then. I’ll just...I’ll pick something to call you, I suppose. At least now I know you can call for me if you need me.”

He nodded, though she could tell by his expression he didn’t understand, and she began to move away. Before she could, though, he caught her chin carefully between two broad fingers, stilling her.

“Anna,” he said quietly, and she knew it was his way of telling her thank you.

[homogrimoire]

Ego Ollor od Esiasch Coronzon

Fair Game Week 2020: Day 7 - AU / Free Day (Priest/Demon AU)

Read it on AO3 here.

Qrow Branwen, priest of a small chapel in the middle of nowhere, was content with his life as it was. Bad luck followed him all his life, as he was born cursed by an ancient magic that not even Oz could undo. The only things he could say were good in his life were his nieces, but even then, he felt that he had to be careful. He didn’t want them to be victims of his existence. They would visit every once and a while, which was perfect in his opinion. They would stay long enough to have fun together, but not long enough to where anything seriously bad could happen. He supposes that getting the opportunity to stay at the chapel was also nice. He was given the opportunity to stay there by an old friend, headmaster of a prestigious academy. Needless to say, he agreed without a second thought. Read to some people from a book and answer their questions two days out of the week? Easy. Be away from people so he couldn’t harm anyone? Help the headmaster with some occult mystery now and then so he could finally feel useful? It was practically a dream come true.

As the years went by, he grew closer to the few people that would show up, especially a young farmhand named Oscar. He reminded him of his nieces. He grew to understand the hope the gods could give and inspire, even if he himself believed them to be cruel and uncaring. His nieces visited less frequently, but called much more often, which he was alright with. Some of his hair began to grey, which he quickly grew to like. It made him look more mature. His experiments, while they were almost always met with some complication, always helped Oz with something. He was as content as he could be, save for one minor thing.

Qrow was lonely. Sure, people came to the chapel on a regular basis, but it was hardly personal, save Oscar. He always made sure to save him some extra sweets, even if he was a teenager now. Ruby and Yang called nearly every other day, bar when they were on a mission, but made sure to visit their favorite uncle at least once a month. Tai called every now and then and would also sometimes visit. However, Qrow realized just how lonely he was when his sister showed up out of the blue. Instead of immediately throwing blessed water at her and muttering a prayer from the book, he actually considered inviting her in. He settled for chatting outside, so that there could at least be witnesses. It went better than expected, but that wasn’t saying too much.

Oz, of course, called frequently, chatting about the magical experiments or sharing the latest gossip with each other. One call proved to be pivotal in Qrow’s life. The day was already eventful. Oscar confessed that he had a crush on one of the other farmhands, hired from a nearby city, he heard, which wasn’t a sin in any book, but Qrow didn’t really care too much about that. As an honorary uncle and father figure, he was mostly just curious about the crush and proud that Oscar was growing up. … Even if it meant Oscar would leave. It was making Qrow feel lonely again. The last time he had a crush, the kid wasn’t even born. Needless to say, he was feeling a bit down when Ozpin called. The moment Qrow answered the call, he knew something big happened, but by his tone, it wasn’t anything bad.

“So, Qrow, I believe that I may have found something that may be of interest to you.” Oz began.

“Mhmm.” Qrow responded, slouched in a chair.

“I’ve found what I believe to be the instructions for a ritual that may help your bad luck problem.” Qrow couldn’t see it, but he knew Oz was smiling.

“You’ve got my attention.” He said, quickly sitting up. “Tell me more about it.”

“From what I have learned, it may have some relation to the brother gods. Its incantations are certainly very old as well. It’s all a straight forward. It just has some… unique ingredients. I’ve procured some of the rarer ones for you, They should be there in a week’s time. Until then, I’ll leave you to find the more common ingredients. I’ll send you the instructions and list of ingredients right now.”

“Wow, Oz, I─ I don't know what to say.” Qrow was dumbfounded. To believe that his curse could be cured...

“You don’t need to say anything. You’ve done a lot more for me than I’ve done for you. But if you want to thank me, do it when the ritual is a success. You know how fickle magic can be.”

“Yeah, that’s true.”Qrow knew that he shouldn’t get his hopes up. Who knew if some ancient ritual would hold up in the modern era. Steps could have been lost as time passed, the magic that powers it may not even exist any more, hell, it could even just end up making things worse. But, Qrow trusted Oz, and there was still the off chance that things did go as expected. At the very least, he could debunk the ritual and let Oz know.

“Although, I should tell you… no. Just, be careful with this one.”

“Alright, I will.” Qrow said suspiciously. In all fairness, Oz always was mysterious.

“Good night Qrow.”

“Good night Oz.” Once the call ended, Qrow received the information, as promised. After reading through it, he could see that it was simple. It just required a lot. There were a few ingredients he had never heard of, but imagined that those would be the things Oz sent him. A few strands of hair from a calico cat were easy to get, only having to deal with a sneezing fit, as well as a horseshoe. He just paid a visit to Oscar and gathered a few hairs from a random calico cat there and bought a horseshoe. Oscar might have tripped face first onto his crush while Qrow was there, but he didn’t feel too bad once he saw them holding hands as he left. All that was left was a shamrock and a fishing pole made by the one invoking the ritual. The shamrock, while it would probably take a day of searching in a clover field to find, made sense with the ritual’s theme. The fishing pole made no sense. If anything, it made him doubt the ritual’s authenticity a little. But, regardless, he made a cheap one out of a stick and some string with a toy lure. It was sad, but it would do.

By the time Qrow had everything he needed, it was still four days until the stuff Ozpin sent would arrive. Qrow could have continued memorizing the incantation, but he had already been doing that. So, he decided to make a more respectable fishing pole. He didn’t take woodworking in school for nothing, even though he would have to do most of the work by hand. In the end, he just looked up how to make a bamboo fishing pole online. It was a nice change of pace from his daily routine. There was still another day until the supplies arrived by the time Qrow found the rod satisfactory. He decided to spend the day carving out a bird from a piece of wood to use as a bobber. He decided on a kingfisher, for their fishing prowess. Once he finished, he decided to go to bed. He had a big day ahead of him.

The supplies he needed arrived late in the afternoon. The mailman almost tripped while holding all the supplies, but Qrow caught him just in time. He was really hoping the ritual would work. Ozpin sent him some jars of a black goop. Qrow didn’t know what it was, but he wasn’t going to question it. Along with the goop, came an odd looking rug, a faded green, that was easily centuries years old, and perhaps even millennia if he were being generous. With no time to waste, he got to work. First, he laid down the rug that he would make the sigil on. Next, using the black goop, he carefully and slowly drew out the sigil, intricate with its many lines. At the tips of the center triangle, he placed the four-leaf clover, the horseshoe, and the strands of calico cat hair. In the center where an ominous vertical eye rested, he placed the fishing pole. With that done, he closed his eyes and clasped his hands together, reminiscent of a prayer. He began to utter the incantation, grateful that Oz knew the pronunciations.

Torzu od adrpan, [n] ascleh k iabes

Cruscanse [xitha] siatris

Amma bab argedco ils

Bien k hoxmarch ivmd ils

Pir ooaona ors

Ollor teloch olpirt dorpha

Ol argedco ego bab

Qrow opened his eyes to see that the black goop had been swirling upwards, the ancient rug and the items he gathered caught in the vortex, until it suddenly paused mid-air, and then fell onto the floor with an anti-climatic splat. He looked at his arms to see if he was any different. He didn’t feel any different. For a moment, he thought that the ritual failed, resulting in nothing. It evidently resulted in something, as a hand shot out of the puddle. Qrow wasn’t a believer, but he grabbed a nearby holy book. It would be better than nothing. It pulled itself up and out of the puddle, the goop dripping off the figure as it emerged. Soon, he could make out slicked back brown hair with graying sides, and deathly pale skin marked with red and black veins. He was clad in a green vest similar to the ancient rug and light colored pants. He opened his eyes to reveal that the sclera were pure black, and his pupils were an unnatural and piercing red. He grinned, showing sharp canines, which was very hot, and very scary.

“So,” it spoke, “you’re the one who summoned me?” Qrow nodded his head, unable to drawl out any words. Then, it looked him up and down. “What’s your name, handsome?” Did he just… flirt, with me?

“Qrow. Qrow Branwen.” was all he could muster out.

“Hm. Handsome name for a handsome guy. I suppose you're wondering what my name is then?” Qrow didn't respond, so the entity continued. “Well, like any respectable demon, I go by many names, but you can call me yours. ” The demon winked at him. He really is flirting with me. He didn’t know how to respond to a demon flirting with him, and a rather hot one at that. “Still shocked, I see. You weren’t exactly expecting me, were you?” Qrow noticed that he held the fishing pole he made slung across a shoulder, and wore a shamrock pin.

“Nope.”

“Well, I hate to intrude, but I think it’s best that talk in the morning, you know, so you can sleep on all this. Oh, and it looks like you only got one bed. Lucky me.” Yeah, lucky. That snapped Qrow out of his stupor.

“Hold on, I am not falling asleep when some random demon is here!” Even if those arms are very tempting. He noticed that one arm had a red armband wrapped around it.

“Like what you see?” the demon teased, flexing his arms. Qrow realized that he had been staring, and began to blush.

“I’m calling Oz.”

“Her ex-husband?” the demon asked.

“Who’s what?” Ozpin picked up the call.

“So, how did it go?” he asked calmly as he took a sip of his drink.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were making me summon a demon?!” Qrow exclaimed.

“The dollar store knock-off goddess says fuck you, and that she wants the kids.” the demon interjected

“Tell her I said to pay the child support.”

“Will do.” the demon saluted. Ozpin turned his attention back to Qrow.

“He’s an alright demon. You can trust him.”

“That doesn’t answer the Question! Oz!”

“Well, if everything went as planned, you should have been able to make a deal with him by offering the fishing rod.”

“And a pretty nice one at that. I like the little kingfisher.” the demon interrupted, holding up the rod for all to admire.

“But evidently, something went wrong.”

“Yeah, you used female calico cat hair. You should have used male calico cat hair.” he corrected. “Lucky for me, it looks like I’m stuck in a pretty nice place,” he said as he looked around the room, “with an even prettier person.” The demon winked at Qrow, again.

“Stuck here? What do you mean stuck here ?” Qrow asked, flustered.

“Well, since the ritual went awry, we’ll have to make another portal to send me back.”

“And that involves going back to hell to get some of that sludge. Trips to hell aren’t easy, you know.” Well shit.

“You went to hell? For me?” Qrow asked. He was touched.

“Yes, but think nothing of it. I owe you a lot.” Oz took another sip “Besides, you’re stuck with a demon now.” Qrow looked behind him to find The demon lying down on his bed, patting the empty space beside him as if offering it to him. Qrow turned away to hide a light blush. “Well, have fun with your new roommate, good night.”

“Wait! Ozpin you little─” with a click, the line was cut. Qrow groaned. He fell back into a chair to stare up at the ceiling, tired and stressed. He looked at the demon, who was just smiling at him. “So, what should I actually call you.”

“Hmm,” the demon thought for a moment, “Clover.” he said as he flicked the shamrock on his vest with his thumb.

“Alright then, Clover . What kind of demon are you anyways?” Qrow was still a little bit suspicious, but he didn’t sense any malicious intent, so there was that.

“Well, let’s just say I have the devil’s own luck.” he grinned. Despite the smile seeming slightly sinister, Qrow felt a bit of hope.

“So what you’re saying is, that you're a demon who brings good luck?”

“Good luck for a fee, and I’d say you’ve paid yours rather nicely.” He pulled the rod out of nowhere to admire it. “I really do like the kingfisher you’ve made. It must have taken a lot of time, and a lot of skill to make. I think this one’s my new favorite.” With a quick movement of his hand, it disappeared back into nothing. “I consider myself pretty lucky, but I have a feeling I’m going to get even more lucky with you here.”

“Pfft.” Qrow scoffed. “You haven’t dealt with someone like me.”

“And why’s that?” Clover sat up, genuinely interested in Qrow’s response.

“I… was born cursed with bad luck. It affects me and everyone around me.” This wasn’t information he gave so freely, but, for some reason, he felt that the demon could understand him, so he told him.

“I see.” The demon appeared to be thinking hard. “When I was human, I was born blessed with good luck, if you can call it blessed. I’m not gonna deny it, it had its benefits. But, as I grew older the more and more people thought that all I was, was my good luck. Everyone wanted to be around me for my good luck, and never for me. You get it, don’t you.” Qrow notic ed that there was something in his eyes: sadness, loneliness, a plea for someone to understand.

“I do.” he told him.

“I thought you would.” Clover smiled and laid back down, patting the empty spot beside him once more. Qrow gave into temptation, and laid next to the hunk of a demon in the small bed. He could have forced the demon onto the floor, but he didn’t want to be rude, and he certainly wasn’t going to sleep on the floor himself. Qrow had the best night of sleep he ever had in a long time, cuddled up in those muscular arms. Yeah, things will be fine. he though as he drifted to sleep.

[iamalivenow]

“What did you use to do, before?”

They're taken aback for a second, because no body ever asks about Them. Not really, not in any sort of meaningful way.

“I'm an actor, darling. A Thespian, Surely you've noticed by now-”

“No, I mean.” Catra is a slim thing, no real muscle in her upper body at all, so when she leans on the railing of the balcony, Double Trouble really thinks she might tip right off. That would be stupid funny, watching her flail to her death.  But then, don't cats always land on their feet? “It's not like there are a lot of armies looking for spies.”

“Oh.” They flip their hair out of their face so that they could get a better look at her. Her hair is a nightmare, all over the place and in desperate need of a wash. “Much the same thing, really.”

“Aw, c'mon. We're friends right?”

That's a laugh too.

“Sure.”

“So then come on.” Catra whines, stretching from the railing, tail twisting around Double Trouble's own. That's a degree of familiarity she's definitely not paid for, but they don't pull away.

The Red Wastes were a hard place, for hard people, and the thing about hard people is that if you know how to distract them they'll miss what's right in front of their face. There have been a series of grifts, most that weren't worth mentioning, because they were just so basic, they put Double Trouble to sleep. Huge muscles were nice but they really left nothing in the brain area at all. They literally made a guy chase paper money on a fishing rod before. Criminally basic.

The other thing about hard people was that they paid extra for sex work if you could look like their dead lovers. Or their enemies.

“You know.” They turn, back on the railing. “Little bit of column A little big of column B.” Head tilted, they get a better look at her. “Someone as talented as me simply has to diversify their portfolio.”

“Is it embarrassing? Is that why you won't tell me? That's really lame.”

“There's nothing embarrassing about sex work, kitten.” And if she's too dull to pick up the insinuation, Double Trouble must have really thrown in with the worst sort of lot.

“O-oh.” There's a blush high up on her cheek that's just darling, and they slide into being her just to feel it on their face.

“What's wrong?” Their new soft tail twists around her waist. “Embarrassed? That's really lame.”

“Shut. Up.” Catra nudges them, but there's no real bark behind it. She's so predictable. “So what you just. Turned into other people and then-” She waves a hand, trying to look like she has any idea what she's talking about.

“God,  you're so cute.” Double Trouble hugs her, gets a hand in their face for the trouble, but who cares. “Yeah, doll. That's pretty much it. They'd show me a picture and tell me about it and I'd, you know.” They wave their hand just like she did. “Get method about it.”

“Huh.” She pulls away and Double Trouble lets her, their one body twisting back into their preferred preset. “And there's money in that?”

“You live on a military base. Are you really going to pretend people don't fuck around?”

“No!” Her tail stands up a little. Oof, weak spot. “People are just stressed, it's different.”

“Aw, no one ever crawl into your bunk?” And then they step into Lonnie. “People were lonely. Or frustrated. Or stressed.” They throuw an arm around Catra's shoulder. Her hair was coarse, they were right. She should really do something about that, maybe use some oils.

Adora comes easily enough, though they're pretty sure they still haven't gotten the hair just right.

“Ugh.” They're shoved again, and they go, laughing, back into their own pretty body.

“Practice makes perfect, kitten. And I'm as good as you can get. So watch the judgey face. Totally doesn't suit you.” They twist past her, into the glass frame of the balcony. “If you need me you know who to call.”

Double Trouble imagined they're done with conversations about their past.

…

Well, everyone's wrong from time to time.

There's a picture, a pretty scratched up one honestly, attached to their usual paycheck that makes them stare between Adora's face and back to Catra's. She's blushing again, tail curled around her leg, ears almost flat against her head. Wow, she's really showing her vulnerable side here. Taking notes for later, Double Trouble looks back at the photo.

“How much.” It's not even a question.

Sometimes this sort of thing is really way to easy.

They tell her the price and when she nods, they step into their role. Adora is, lets see, stubborn, but like, cute about it. Stuck to her convictions. A super boring character, but hey. Money's money. The day Double Trouble starts sticking their nose up at a paycheck is the day they drop dead.

It's easier to let Catra lead, let her set the tone of how she wants the little session to go, so when Adora gets slammed up against the wall, they swallow down the irritation that comes with another one of Those sessions.

Honestly, just buy a punching bag and some duck tape.

It's would be so much cheaper.

But then, just Adora starts biting out some insult, about how Catra's been like this from the start, how Catra's never taken anything serious but wanted everything that came with serious anyway, Catra's mouth is on theirs.

If she's never kissed anyone, she's pretty decent at it.

Or maybe it's just the scratchy tongue.

The rest of the affair is relatively silent, Catra pulls Adora around a bit until they end up in her bunk. Adora is on her back staring up at her, hair a mess and clothes ruffled. They're sure Adora paints a very pretty picture. Their client is panting above them, tail ramrod straight, claws digging into Adora's arms. Maybe even making her bleed a little.

“Catra?” With just that right hint of vulnerability and confusion in the voice.

“Shut up-”

“But-”

“Shut up! You don't- You don't know anything.”

“Okay-” Adora looks away, showing the neck off. “Okay- I trust you.”

“Still?” Catra's voice cracks like she's about to start crying. Poor baby.

“Always- You're my best friend, right?”

“But-” She slumps down, face buried into Adora's neck, trembling. “But after everything-”

“You did what you had to do. To keep yourself safe. I-” Adora bites her lip, leans forward a little, into Catra's hair until she finds Catra's forehead and presses her lips against it. “I understand.”

Catra does sob then, full body shaking with it, until her hands loose and raise to cup Adora's face. This kiss is was more intense then the last, even with out the biting. It's like it's Adora's entire job to keep her together or Catra's going to fall apart in a million tiny pieces-

Poetic.

Also unbelievably pathetic.

Who's in charge of the command structure here? Any idiot who pays even the tiniest amount of attention can see that Catra's on the verge of thirty different mental breakdowns.

“I've got you.” Adora says when they finally pull apart for air. “I've got all of you. I'm right here, Catra. I'm right here.” She rubs Catra's back, slowly soothing circles that just make Catra cry harder. Double Trouble can't stand this sort of thing, they really can't. Go see a therapist if you have the money. If the Red Wastes had some, this place defo has to right?

“I'm sorry.” Catra mumbles later, when she's all cried out.

“It's- You did what you had to do. I won't pretend it didn't hurt.” Adora says, holding Catra's face in her hands now. “But you're here now. So am I. We're both okay. That's all that really matters, right?”

Catra nods, kisses Adora again.

Oh, is she finally going to get to the good stuff?

No.

No, turns out it's just time to lay on top of each other.

This is romance.

This isn't the worst thing they've ever done, not even close, because there have been times when the client got a little to rowdy, a little to handsy in ways that they had to stop. There were also times when the sex just sucked so hard. There were time when they got really hurt, because people tend to forget it's not really their dead lover or whatever. Double Trouble chooses to take it as a compliment, really. Because they are just that talented that people forget they're paying for it. People forget everything in the whole wide world.

But this? Has to be the most boring thing they've ever done.

Hands down.

They have had one or two other clients that wanted the some thing, but at least after, Double Trouble knew they were going to get snacks out of it, hand crafted jewelry they could pawn, some sort of reward that made the whole wholesomeness thing worth it.

This though?

As soon as Catra wakes up, because yes, she did fall asleep, they're going to have to say bye and trudge over enemy lines and pretend to be an hero obsessed idiot.

But again, it's not like they stick their nose up at free money.

They could take the nap too, catch some extra beauty sleep. Not that they need it. Either way, it beats just staring at the ceiling.

Mostly.

[springwritess]

Allergies | Sanji Vinsmoke

anime: one piece

word count: 1826

note: im not allergic to anything but i hate seafood. i could never be a pirate whoops. also the mc here is shy and not assertive just like me irl.

***

It was a beautiful day in the Grand Line. The sun was shining brightly in the sky. The birds were soaring through the clear blue sky. The white puffy clouds were scuttling along. There weren't any signs of marines. It was a calm and peaceful day. Sanji took the opportunity to cut some watermelon for you all - much to your delight. You decided to take a stroll in Nami's tangerine garden. You took a deep breath. The smell of citrus lingered in the atmosphere.

You watched everyone over at the main deck. There was lots of commotion, just like any other day with the StrawHats. Sanji was flirting with Nami. Robin was reading a book. Zoro was taking a nap. Usopp, Chopper and Luffy were all fishing together. They all seemed extremely concentrated. Luffy started to pull on his fishing rod. Chopper and Usopp pulled too to help him. Eventually, what looked to seem a huge crab was on the deck. It was trying to escape, probably because it didn't want to be eaten. Luffy punched it, and it stopped moved around.

"We caught a huge crab today!" Luffy declared proudly.

"How the hell did he catch a crab on a fishing rod?" Nami asked. She rubbed her temples out of annoyance.

"Who cares? Sanji grill it up so we can all eat it." Usopp grinned.

"It looks edible. We should totally eat it!" Chopper added.

You felt your heart drop. You walked down the stairs to the main deck to take a closer look at the crab. Yep it was definitely one. You grimaced. You had an allergic reaction to shellfish. Thankfully, it wasn't

too severe. The last time you ate one was when you were five years old. You ended up with hives, abdominal pain and diarrhea afterwards. You even threw up a few times. You shuddered at the memory. It was a terrible couple days.

Sanji swung the dead crab over his shoulder and headed over to the kitchen. "If everyone wants me to grill it up. I'll go ahead and do that. It seems like a nice day too to have a barbecue outside. Grilled crab legs will taste just fine. I'll be sure to make it extra nice for my sweet Nami, Robin and [first name]."

Luffy, Usopp and Chopper started to run around and shout in excitement. "Barbecue! Barbecue! Barbecue!" They chanted.

Nami snacked them all in the head and told them to quiet down. Zoro was still asleep through all their commotion. You felt your mouth drop. Amazing..

You were hesitant about telling Sanji about your allergy. What kind of pirate is allergic to shellfish? That's a large portion of the sea you weren't able to eat. It was pathetic. You were usually able to avoid shellfish because Sanji would cook up other foods, but today you guys were just having that huge crab your captain caught. It would probably last for days. You felt sick to your stomach.

"Are you doing okay [first name]? Do you need a checkup?" Chopper trotted over and asked you.

You shook your head and forced a smile. "I'm okay Chopper. Don't worry about me. I'm excited about the barbecue."

He was hesitant about leaving you, but then relented and joined the others to create some more ruckus.

Sanji brought out the pieces of crab and the huge barbecue grill. He also brought garlic butter sauce with him. He turned the grill on. The thick metal rods started to turn red hot. You started to feel nauseous again. You watched the cook place the pieces of crab legs on the grill swiftly. After they were finished grilling, he drizzled the garlic butter sauce on top. You watched as he cut the fruit up swiftly and excellently. He was fast with those fingers. He cut up some more fresh fruit and made some more fruit skewers. He poured everyone some alcohol into glasses.

Sanji hung his jacket over the chair. He tie was also removed. He removed the cigarette from his mouth and exhaled the soft tendrils of smoke. He seemed to noticed your gaze. You've been watching him prepare the food for awhile now. You didn't seem to notice him standing right in front of you now.

"Is everything alright [first name]?" He asked softly.

You shook your head. "I'm fine don't worry about me. I can't wait for the food!"

"It's just about ready actually. I'll serve you first."

"No fair! I wanted to get my food first!" Luffy shouted.

"Shut up! Nami, Robin and [first name] get to eat first. The rest of you idiots can wait."

Sanji handed you your plate first. Your stomach lurched. The smell brought back some terrible memories, but you couldn't say you no. You felt bad as stupid as it seemed. You've only been on the crew for a month. The last thing you wanted was to cause trouble for the others. Sanji was a nice guy and went through all that trouble for you.

You gulped. You decided not to touch the crab and instead started to munch on the fruit. The juices spilt forth and quenched your thirst. You continued to munch on them and talked with the others. Everyone was shouting and singing.

"Are you not hungry [first name]? You haven't touched your crab legs. I can have them if you want."

Luffy said. Before you could answer, he reached over to try and take them.

Sanji smacked his arm away. "Don't touch them you idiot! It's for [first name]!"

"I'm okay really. I'm not a fan of crab anyway." You said.

"Come on you can't say that without even trying it." Zoro said. It seemed like the swordsman finally woke up from his nap to eat.

"I agree. Sanji's cooking is really something! Meals are something we all look forward too now." Nami added. "Just take a bite."

Everyone's eyes were on you. The pressure of eating was starting to get to you. Your stomach lurched again. The nausea clawed at your throat, and you tried forced it down the bile. You took a piece of crab and took a bite. Your tastebuds danced in delight. They were right. It's delicious. You finished the whole piece.

"It's amazing. Wow Sanji you're really talented aren't y-" Your voice was cut off from a fit of coughing. Your stood up from where you were sitting. Your chest started to ache. Your eyes started to water. Your breathing hitched. They became more and more shallow.

You lost the colour from your face. You swayed for just a moment before you felt a pair of arms catch you and lower you to the ground. The whole world started to spin, and everything became pitch black.

***

You could hear the worried voices around you, but you weren't able to make out the words at first. Eventually, you started to hear familiar voices.

"Is she okay?"

"Your food is killing her that's what's happening."

"Shut up mosshead! Are you trying to pick a fight?"

"Can I finish the rest of her food?"

"How could you say that? You're the captain! If you're going to be useless, then I'll take charge. Captain Usopp demands you help [first name]!"

"Everyone get out! I'm the doctor and I need to treat her!"

You finally came to and saw a blurry figure standing before you. It was a reindeer. You looked closely to realize it was Chopper. He was treating you.

"Don't get up. I'm still making the medicine to treat your hives. They're all over your arms."

You laid back down and felt your stomach lurch again. This time you couldn't hold back the nausea. You ran for somewhere to contain all your vomit. This time it was Usopp's bag. He left it in infirmary when he was in there earlier.

Chunks of partially digested crab spewed out of your coughing, choking mouth. Your stomach kept on contracting violently and forcing everything up and out. Your face was white and dripping bile, sweat, and tears. Your lurched forward and sunk to your knees. The pungent stench invaded your nostrils and you heaved even though there was nothing left to go.

"I'm sorry. I was allergic. Everyone seemed excited so I was afraid to say anything. All I did was cause everyone more trouble..." You said softly, choking back the tears. You were so embarrassed. You felt pathetic. Vomiting and collapsing like that.

There was a puff of smoke that appeared in the room. You glanced up to see the cook standing at the doorway. You looked away in embarrassment. It was probably him who caught you anyway.

"You really worried us you know. I thought you were a goner. I'm glad Chopper is here to help you out. I'm also glad I was able to catch you too." He smiled.

You rolled your eyes but a smile crept on your face. "The crab..it tasted good. I wouldn't mind trying it again."

Sanji chuckled. He took the cigarette out of his mouth and stepped on it so the fire would go out. He walked over to you. He squatted down since you were on for floor. He wrapped an arm around your shoulders and pulled you close, gently rubbing your arm. Despite the queasiness in your stomach, it fluttered at the feeling of your body pressed against his. You sunk into the warmth of his side, appreciative of the simple gesture. His touch made the room warmer somehow, you felt much better.

"Get better soon alright? I'm sorry about that [first name]. I didn't want to hurt you. From now on, don't hesitate to tell us anything. We're friends now." He whispered in your ear.

You hugged him tighter and slowly nodded. "Okay. I will. Don't worry."

The door was swung open as the sniper stepped in. He gasped at Sanji and you hugging each other. Sanji immediately let go. He glared at Usopp and he gulped. "Hate to ruin the sweet moment. But where's my bag? I left it in here didn't I?"

You handed him the bag. "Here it is. I threw up in it though."

He stared at the bag in utter disbelief. "How could you! It had all my weapons in here." He screamed.

"It'll be fine. I'll make it up to you later at the next island. Now get out. Sanji and I were talking."

Usopp stormed out of the room. "Talking huh. It seemed like there was more action than talking." He grumbled.

A bead of sweat appeared on the side of the reindeer’s face. He stood there and rubbed his head sheepishly. "Everyone's forgetting I'm here..."

[draw-you-coward]

post-shadowbringers! will contain whatever spoilers are relevant.

ao3

~*~

“Are you sure Urianger will want to go swimming?” Ryne sounds as if she knows the answer to her question, and it is ‘no.’ “I don’t think he likes the water very much.”

“Nonsense!” Thancred mouths the word along with Ikael’s loud exclamation. Ikael continues, oblivious, “He will be very excited, I am sure. I bought a bathing suit for him and everything!”

Thancred had, unfortunately, accompanied him on that particular shopping trip to Eulmore. “Ikael thinks his excitement about something is unavoidably infectious,” he calls over his shoulder. “Wait until he bullies you into a shopping spree ‘because it’s fun, Thancred!’”

He pitches his voice into a whiny approximation of Ikael’s. It must be accurate, because Ryne’s wide eyes go wider, and she claps her hands over her mouth to stifle a laugh. It doesn’t work, although funnier yet is the look on Ikael’s face.

“I—J—Wh—Oh,” he stammers, tacking on what Thancred is sure is his attempt at a glower. “Don’t act like you didn’t enjoy that. Who was it who spent half a bell in the children’s section worrying over two identical bathing suits because you ‘didn’t know whether Ryne would like the green or the purple one better? Help me pick, Ikael, ohh,’” He lays a dramatic hand across his forehead. “‘I am so-o-o lost without your amazing fashion advice, won’t you please help m-e-e?’”

Thancred refuses to be made to feel embarrassed over his diligence. Still. “I don’t sound like that,” he gripes. His voice can't go that high.

He pretends not to notice Ryne’s stare, and continues to march forwards, keeping his head high. Inwardly, his heart warms at seeing hers so light at their banter, even if the actual shopping trip had been decidedly less innocent and had mostly involved… Ikael only, of course, making suggestive comments about the… shapes of the merchandise on offer. In what was most decidedly not the children’s section. City of paradise indeed.

Maybe he’ll tell Ryne about the flaming nipple brassiere when she’s older. Maybe. Because that one had actually been quite funny.

“Did you really buy me something?” Ryne has trotted up to him. “Thancred?”

He glances down at her, which is a mistake, because it makes him smile and he is still supposed to be stoically taciturn to balance out Ikael. “Of course,” he says. “The opportunity to pointlessly spend even more time here but in less clothing cannot be missed. More to the point, Ikael loves wasting money on things like these.”

“Mhm!” Ikael hums brightly.

“See?”

“But… what else is in the bag?” Ryne shoots a furtive glance at the large sac Ikael is hauling on his back, heavy and fit to bursting. “It can't just be clothing, right?”

Thancred snorts. “You’d be surprised,” he says dryly. “But not all of it, no. Ikael has simply gone over the top. Trust me when I say that I stopped him as much as I was able to.”

(“I am not wearing that thing around Ryne,” Thancred warns. Ikael rolls his eyes, but nods, and then tosses it in their shopping cart nevertheless. Thancred takes it back out.

“And neither are you,” he adds glacially.)

“We’re here!” Ikael declares, dropping the bag. It flops gracelessly on the ground. He glances around the decidedly empty beach. “Where is Urianger?”

“Either in Eulmore on a last-minute shopping trip for arm-floats,” Thancred intones, “or late from fishing out the information from his contact here that we are actually meeting for.”

“It isn’t like him to be late.” Ryne looks around worriedly, cradling her hands to her chest. “Do you think he got into trouble?”

“And delay his chance to spoil you rotten?” Thancred smiles at her lightly. “Do not worry; I am sure he’s fine. Here, why don’t you go change?”

He kneels down and tugs the bag open, beginning to sort through it. More towels than the four of them will need, dresses for Ryne… sleeping clothes for Ryne, socks for Ryne, leggings for Ryne, at least five completely differently styled shirts for Ryne… is that an umbrella? Thancred shakes his head. Gods help him. And Urianger is the one who spoils her.

He finally finds the (purple) bathing suit. It is nice, he thinks: simple, with little frills on the arms and a cute picture of a unicorn on the front. …The green one had a frog. They weren’t completely identical.

“That outcropping over there.” He nods at it as he hands the bathing suit to Ryne. “Go on.”

She goes. Thancred looks at Ikael, and asks, “Be a good chap and search for Urianger?”

“Fifty gil that he’s drowning,” Ikael replies sadly, but nods and trots off. He is good at this sort of thing—Thancred is certain he will arrive just in time to pull Urianger from the jaws of (possibly aquatic) death, or something of the sort. He even thinks he notices Ikael jot something down in his journal as he leaves. Odd fellow.

Thancred takes his coat off, laying it on the ground to sit on as he undresses. He had worn his new and soon-to-be-thrown-away bathing suit underneath his armour, because he does not want to risk flashing a child. He hesitates to put his gunblade aside, silly as it might seem, but they have done a thorough perimeter check, and should be safe.

Probably. Thancred lays it trigger side facing him, just in case.

Ryne comes back out as he is sorting through the—many, many—towels, and he ties her hair into a bun and he reassures her that yes, Ikael will be back soon, and yes, surely Urianger will be fine, and no, of course he didn’t skip out on beach evening, because why would he do something like that? He probably got eaten by a fish or something of the sort; Ikael will fish him up. Yes, he is certain Ikael somehow has a fishing rod hidden somewhere on his person.

Ikael does indeed come back soon, with an Urianger that looks no worse for the wear in tow. If he is holding himself a little stiffly, that is of course neither here nor there. If Thancred will take a peek in Ikael’s journal afterwards to find out what happened, that is also neither here nor there.

“This is the part where you give me money!” Ikael declares in a lackluster sort of voice.

“What?” says Thancred.

“Prithee forgive me for mine tardiness.” Urianger bows deeply. Ryne rushes forward to hug him, and he straightens up with a ridiculously soft expression. Great. Thancred is surrounded.

Ikael walks over to him. “Norvrandt keeping you in shape, yeah?” he says alongside a lingering look.

“I thought you didn’t approve of my ‘regression from rugged mountain man?’” Thancred comments. He nods at the rocky outcropping. “Don’t strip in front of Ryne, please.”

“I still have eyes, Thancred,” Ikael complains, and begins to strip not in front of Ryne, who isn’t looking, but at least in front of Urianger, who unfortunately happens to be facing in his direction. The latter tries to both keep Ryne’s attention and subtly shield his eyes, which is incredibly amusing to watch, Thancred will admit. Thankfully, Ikael seems to have done as Thancred has, although he could have said so before pulling his brais down and nearly giving him a heart attack.

Thancred's eyes are immediately drawn to a new scar along Ikael’s stomach; still fresh and pink, although seemingly magically reduced. He notes the placement (painful), estimates the age, estimates the recovery time, and frowns internally. Ikael has… gone back to the Source only once since journeying with Ryne and himself, right? Other than that, when…?

“I must say, I appreciate the attention,” Ikael says with a slanted smile. It is just as Thancred is about to shelve thoughts of how aware he should be of his companion’s injuries (Ryne’s he can notice without much difficulty, but the fact that he cannot with Ikael is more troubling to him than it should be). “Do you want me to do a spin?”

Thancred quirks his lips and makes a rotating motion with his hand. Ikael gasps in faux delight before preening and doing a showy little twirl, his tail curling extra dramatically at the end of it.

He bows, to singular applause. “Oh, wow!” cries Ryne, looking as if she is being completely genuine. “You know, you could be a dancer!”

“Thine star wouldst be ill prepared for such a turn of fate’s wheel,” Urianger tells her. Thancred holds back a snort of amusement, not wanting to tip Ikael off that he is being insulted. Ikael himself does not seem to know what to make of the comment, but after a second or so he seems to give up trying to puzzle it out and beams, bowing once more.

“Thank you, thank you!” he says. He cocks his hand on his hip. “So, Urianger, guess what I bought you…?”

~*~

The sunset over Kholusia is still a new sight, and they are all taking the time to appreciate it. Ryne especially so. She is sitting in the shallows with Ikael, apparently content to simply share his company in silence. Thancred and Urianger are lying on the shore on a pile of many towels, having finished their debriefing some time ago.

Urianger wrings out a corner of his skirt. He and Ikael had compromised; Urianger would go in the water, but only if he did not have to change into “yonder scant… garment.”  The result had been some teasing, a lot of enthusiastic splashing, and one very nervous astrologian arching his neck as much as he could.

“So,” Urianger says into the setting sun and the beach’s gentle breeze, “How fareth thine nascent liaison with Ikael? To mine own eye, all seemeth well.”

“’Tis not a liaison,” Thancred returns, half-hearted but still aware just in case Urianger is reading things the wrong way. “He does not quite… work like that, you know.”

“Full aware am I of the reach of his heart.” Urianger’s voice is warm with something like fondness, and when Thancred glances at him, he sees nothing but understanding in his gaze. “Thou must forgive me; I thought it an apt word regardless of its nuance. Thou wilt admit ‘tis an ambitious venture to find a suitable substitute.”

Thancred looks away. “I suppose so,” he says. “Well, things are going well. Quite well, I’d say. He has made me aware that some of my goals may require more than simply mine own efforts to fulfil properly. He notices where I’m lacking, when I might not.”

“’Tis foolish to not accept aid when it ist readily given,” Urianger agrees sagely. “There lieth no shame on yonder path.”

“I know.” Thancred leans back, staring up at the sky. “I will admit it is difficult to let my guard down enough to, say, be more affectionate. But it is easier when we are alone, and Ikael says that is enough for him and Ryne to know that I care.”

Even now, it feels somewhat awkward to speak of things like these, accustomed as he is to avoiding the subject. But now what is done is done, and he does not have to avoid anything any longer. Urianger nods.

“’Twill take time to adjust, and thou hast that now in spades,” he says. “Thou hast also Ikael, and his patience. And Ryne’s barest expectations to exceed.”

“Ouch,” Thancred says dryly. But he acknowledges the apt commentary with a faint smirk. “Yes, I do. I have my second chance, and I will not despoil it. Not like I did with Minfilia.”

Urianger eyes him knowingly, but says nothing. After a moment, he slowly lies down next to Thancred.

“Speaking of Ikael,” Thancred remarks, keeping his tone light, “Did you notice the scar on his stomach? Do you know when he got that injury?”

Urianger’s pause is telling. Still, Thancred does not wholly expect it when he answers, “Three suns ago, he hath told me.”

Three days? Thancred looks at Ikael instinctively. He is telling Ryne some kind of story, enthusiastic and animated. And yes, now that Thancred is looking, he notices the slight stiffness in his gesticulations, and how he is not moving his arms too high. Godsdammit. And if Ikael was speaking to Thancred, expecting his observation? Would he notice then?

“You were the one who expedited its healing.” Thancred speaks to the cloudless sky. It couldn’t have been anyone else, not that recently. Urianger nods, and Thancred's lids droop.

“Did he want you to ease the pain, or…?”

“He wished to reduce the wound’s appearance to hide it from thy discerning gaze.” Urianger’s voice is kind and quiet. “He didst not wish for thee to worry.”

Thancred says nothing. Urianger continues, in the same tone, “He ist not indomitable, thou knowest very well. Although perhaps thine visible attitude on the matter hath affected the extent of what he is prepared to reveal to thee. I wouldst fain assume thou art not the only soul who hath learnt to hide his pains.”

Thancred counts his breaths. After three of them, he says, “It’s always the nice ones who hide it the best, isn’t it?”

Urianger replies, “Kindness ist an act of voluntary will, and not a state of being as many wouldst presume.”

Thancred smiles wanly. “Then you, being a kind man, will forgive me when I say that I still feel as if I should have noticed. And… Ikael of all people. It hasn’t even been that long for him; I should have…”

Urianger shakes his head. “Do not insult him with thine presumption that he ist not as complex as one such as thyself,” he says. “And do not despair over his desire to not be known in whole. It shall come in time, as it will with thee also.”

Thancred exhales a warm puff of air. Urianger is right, he realizes. Besides, Thancred himself would be a hypocrite to lecture Ikael on not revealing the full extent of his injuries. It doesn’t mean either of them should be doing it, but…

Thancred reaches out blindly, searching for Urianger’s shoulder. He squeezes it briefly before letting his hand lay limp. “Thank you.”

“I am ever here to be of service,” Urianger replies in a somewhat pointed tone. Thancred almost rolls his eyes; what was it Alisaie had said? Ah yes: to live somewhere less annoying next time. Then maybe they will visit him more often.

Ryne and Ikael are coming over to them, the latter somehow managing to walk in a crooked line that directly blocks Thancred's sunlight (he is doing it on purpose, Thancred is nearly certain). Ryne smiles at him, happy and bright from whatever fun she had been having with Ikael, and he finds himself smiling back.

“Come on,” he mutters, patting the space between him and Urianger. There are enough towels layered across the beach for the entirety of the Scions to lay on without so much as touching a grain of sand. Ryne’s face lifts, and she scuttles over.

 “Wherefore art these sandy feet sullying mine robes?” Urianger bemoans dramatically. Ryne giggles, dragging her toes against his skirts. “Alas! Thou hast bested me, scourge of the sands.”

“Is he trying to tell me to fight Ravana again?” Ikael murmurs as he settles in on Thancred's other side. Thancred feels the wet smack of a tail against his leg.

“No, he is saying that you are dirtying all of these lovely towels that you bought with your disgusting little monk feet.” Thancred tips his head to fall towards Ikael. A warm arm presses against his. “More or less.”

“Is that what Urianger is saying or is that what Thancred is saying?” Ikael mumbles. Predictably, his eyes begin to close.

“Thancred is saying that if you start making like an octopus while you sleep, he will leave you here with only your exorbitant towels for company,” Thancred warns. Even as he says it, Ikael’s arm stretches out across his abdomen, trapping him. Thancred thinks he feels a leg start to move.

“’Tis too late now,” Urianger rumbles sagely. Ryne giggles, reaching out to join Ikael’s hand. Five minutes later, she is also asleep.

“Like one child, like another,” Thancred mutters to himself, although he does not mind. Why does everyone keep falling asleep on him all the time? He blames Ikael for starting it.

“Thou art childish enough to protest,” Urianger responds, which Thancred thinks is his way of telling him to shut up. “Now lay near thine family and be at peace.”

So Thancred does just that.

~*~

[impishnature]

All We Need

AO3

Rating: T

Summary: A sequel to ‘Good for Something’ A conversation in the early morning sun can cast a light on things that are hard to talk about when the world is dark and grey. It’s still hard to explain what’s wrong, even when bonds have been rekindled but they’re ready to try.

AN: As per the first fic, this wasn’t really planned but once it was there, I really needed to write it. Warning: bad mental state and suicidal ideation.

.

“…Stan?”

Ford stretched as he looked around the cabin, realising that he’d been so engrossed in his studies that morning that he hadn’t even noticed Stan wake up and leave his bunk. He turned around from his seat, half amused at his own antics as he noted the messy unmade bed and the haphazardly thrown items that marked Stan’s passing through the area. He knew there’d be a snarky retort when he made himself known to his brother, knew that Stan would have spoken to him at least three or four times before he left, probably even thrown in a few hand gestures to try and get a rise out of him before laughing at his futile efforts and just how absorbed his brother was in his book to not have noticed a moment of it.

Oh well, it made for a good start to the day. Plus he’d managed to read a fascinating entry on a sea creature not that far from their current position to point them towards as their next port of call once Stan had stopped mercilessly teasing him.

He groaned as he stood up, stretching once more as he made his way to the deck to find his, no doubt, indignant but chuckling brother waiting for him.

He opened the door, resigned to his fate with a small endearing smile. “Stan?”

The smile dropped slightly as he caught sight of his brother standing at the side of the boat, eyes glazed over, staring into the middle distance and hands tight to the railing. It was odd for his brother not to respond to his call, and ever stranger for him to be stood around doing nothing.

Stan was never one to stand around or sit down, always restlessly moving, always doing something with his hands to keep himself occupied. In fact the only times that Stan sat relatively still were when the niblings were video calling them, and even then Stan was hardly quiet both in sound and movement, his entire being having to tell the story where words themselves would not suffice. Always gesturing widely, always adding embellishing gestures to add that extra spark, that extra colour to the words falling from his lips.

For Stan to stand so still and quiet in the early morning sun, not even a fishing rod in hand or the radio on beside him and the hum of a tune on his lips, made a sliver of worry burrow down Ford’s spine.

Ford straightened his back, pushing the thoughts away as far as they would go before walking over to Stan with a smile plastered across his face. He slid up beside his brother and nudged his shoulder, jolting him out of whatever reverie had him quite so out of sorts. He tried not to think too hard about the way Stan flinched and stepped away from him, forcing a laugh out instead at the notion. “Wow. Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you.”

“Jesus, Sixer! Give me some warning next time.”

Ford smirked as Stan rubbed at his chest, a soft reproachful glare marring his features. “I did, multiple times.”

“Oh, I must have been away with the fairies.” Stan grinned apologetically, rubbing at the back of his head sheepishly. “Sorry, I was just thinking, I guess.”

Ford hummed playfully, bumping shoulders again. “What is it you always say when I say I was just thinking? ‘I’m going to need some more information than that, otherwise I’m going to worry about what you’re planning’? Or something like that?”

Stan snorted, shaking his head. “Well, thinking is a dangerous habit that I try not to do.”

“Quite. Running and jumping into things headfirst seem your general area of expertise.” Ford chuckled as Stan pushed him in indignation. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding!” The pair lapsed into silence for a few more moments, a quiet peaceful hush that Ford couldn’t quite let slide. His brother settled far too easily beside him, no bite back to his words, no snide comments about how he’d spent his morning, just a half glazed expression as his brother slipped back to wherever his thoughts actually lay. “So? What’s different today then? What’s got you thinking?”

“…I was remembering something, that’s all.”

Stan’s voice grew quiet, a whisper of thoughtfulness that had Ford frowning, assumptions running high that left a foreboding taste in his mouth as well as the dull thud of hope in his chest.

Ever memory was another step in the right direction but not all of them were good.

“What? A new one? You should have said! I thought we’d covered a lot of them but you know it’s great to hear when you have a new… Stan?” Ford’s frown deepened as Stan’s shoulders shook, his face hidden from view. “Oh. Oh, Stan, I’m sorry- it’s a bad one, isn’t it? I thought we’d covered…” Ford’s hands gestured wildly as Stan shook his head and rubbed at his face, finally turning to him, though now that Ford saw him he also saw there were no tears there at all.

“Sorry, sorry, I didn’t mean to laugh. But wow, it really shows how messed up our lives got that me saying ‘I was just remembering something’ gets that kind of response instantly instead of just ‘oh? What about?’”

Ford flushed, embarrassment bubbling up thick and warm at the assumption he had made. He turned away from Stan, drawing back inwards as he opened his mouth to apologise but Stan beat him to it again.

“No, stop, Sixer. I mean- yeah, it was a new memory, but I just found it funny. So many screws loose in my head-”

“Stop that.”

“…Alright. I just meant… I dunno, I just thought it was funny. That’s all.”

Ford sighed, exasperation and endearment running through his smile in equal measures. He could see what Stan meant though, he did jump to conclusions quickly. He just wanted to make up for lost time and ground with his brother, wanted to look after him, help him. Be a brother again and let Stan do the same for him.

Even that morning, seeing his brother so quiet, the leaden pit that had opened in his stomach had probably already connected the dots poorly and speculated that Stan was so still because he was having another lost memory moment.

Still, Stan saying he had screws loose left a bitter taste in his mouth that he needed to dispel quickly. “Yeah, fair, it sums up all that we’ve been through.” Ford sighed, resting his arms on the railing to look over at his brother. “So? You gonna share the memory or not feeling it today?”

Stan rolled his eyes, leaning over the railing too, his elbow resting on it and his hand cupping his face. “Well~ I guess it’s only fair. You are in it, after all.” His expression grew hesitant then, eyes peripherally scanning Ford’s face. “It was the night after you came through the portal.”

Ford’s face soured, a pang of guilt fizzling through his chest as he looked away from Stan’s searching gaze. “I thought you’d remembered that… our fight, the conversation in front of the mirror…” He winced as he reminded himself, feeling Stan grip his shoulder reassuringly to ground him back to the present.

“Hey, yeah, I know. We don’t need to go over ground we’ve already covered. No, this was after that. A lot later…” Stan’s eyes unfocused slightly again as he thought back, his words coming out soft and quiet as if reminding himself more than Ford. “You found me, sitting at the kitchen table writing… well, just writing, I guess.”

Ford blinked, the flash of the recollection hitting him suddenly as if it was him that struggled with remembering and not Stan. He’d almost forgotten that moment. That awkward hushed conversation that left him for a loop with every turn, left him with more questions than answers and the overall feeling that there was something important that he wasn’t comprehending. He glanced over at Stan, his face guilty and apologetic and even now, he wasn’t sure why his brother was looking at him that way. “I- I remember that. You were…”

“Not in a great place?” Stan sighed, glancing out over the water again. “You weren’t really meant to see that, I thought I was alone. I was trying to get my head together, figure out what to… do, I guess.”

“You couldn’t really explain anything then to me, Stan, not that I blame you. I was hardly someone you’d want to talk to at that moment, considering… but could you explain it now?” There was something important in this moment, something that had been important then as well and if he’d really paid attention he would have noticed that his brother had been walking a tightrope, poised above a gaping maw, and his words and actions were pushing him onwards to a choice that he hadn’t even felt. Now he could feel it again, that fizzling atmosphere that he couldn’t quite grasp but this time he wanted to know, wanted to help, but there was that overlying worry that he wouldn’t be able to, that he wouldn’t know how.

Stan sighed again, a weary sad sound that had Ford itching to hug him. “I don’t know, to tell you the truth, Sixer…” He groaned, rubbing at his face. “This is hard.”

“We don’t have to-”

“No I… I think I want to, otherwise I would have brushed you off and left it at the jokes.” Stan smiled wistfully but he still refused to look over at Ford this time. “I didn’t know what to do, Sixer. Everything I had worked towards had led to that moment, to getting you back. I had no plans for the aftermath, nothing to fall back on when it was all over. Suddenly the purpose in my life had been ripped out from under me and I just- there was nothing there to take its place.” Stan’s fingers twitched as he spoke, trying to explain where the words wouldn’t. “I was terrified, and everything felt wrong. Nothing I did was right, nothing I could ever do was going to be right either. So… what was the point in trying?”

Ford felt cold, slimy and faintly sick. He hadn’t even known, not really, there’d been something there to make him worry but the extent hadn’t really settled in.

He’d been too angry, too upset. The world could have ended at any moment because of Stan’s actions and so he hadn’t even really looked, hadn’t tried to.

“Does that make sense?” Stan finally glanced at him, standing up straight as he did so, his face filled with soothing comfort. “Hey, no, don’t- this wasn’t to make you feel guilty. I didn’t understand it myself at the time, so how could you have? Nothing made sense, bro, that was the point. I was trying to find something, anything to keep me going and coming up blank. Every idea I had for the future was just coming back to me with more cons than pros, nothing felt right, I was just… floating… No, maybe drowning, sinking even, is the better word. Better off…”

“Please. Please, don’t say what I think you’re thinking, ‘cause it’s not true.”

“I… think I know that now.”

Ford gave a shaky breath, the fingers he hadn’t even known he was embedding in the wood relaxing slightly. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. I was thinking on those thoughts, that’s all.” Stan hummed, thoughtfully. “I’m not sure they’re better though, I was hoping you might help with that.”

“Always.” Ford turned to Stan, watching him patiently.

“I… I was thinking that if I’d… done something that night. If I’d given in and given up or whatever… then I wouldn’t have been there to help you all in Weirdmaggedon.”

“You mean save us all.”

Stan shrugged a shoulder before continuing. “Yeah, sure, that. But yeah I wouldn���t have been able to. And I wouldn’t have been there for the kids’ birthday, or to watch you all try so desperately to get my memories back... I wouldn’t have seen just how much you all cared. And now… Now I wouldn’t be able to chat to them every few days in video call… I wouldn’t be here doing what we always said we would, having the time of my life chasing after weird creatures with my favourite person at my side.” Stan smiled softly, a smile not meant for anyone bar himself and Ford’s heart ached at the expression. “I dunno, I was just thinking about how much I would have missed, that’s all and how glad I am that I didn’t... yeah, didn’t do that.”

“And how much we would have missed you.” Ford couldn’t help but pull up close to him then, bumping shoulders at the thought. “I’m glad you didn’t do that too.” The words were almost too quiet for Stan to hear, but his frown said that he had as he continued.

“I’m not saying everything is better. I’m still terrified some days, there’s still these... doubts, niggling away at the back of my head. One day you’re going to realise you’re better off without me again.” Stan spoke over Ford’s protests. “One day you’re going to remember I’m not a great person, and- I’m grateful, glad even that I’ve got this time now but… sometimes I wonder how long it will last. What I’ll do when I don’t have this anymore. Or I worry that you never really wanted this, that this was all for me. That you could be doing so much more without me hanging off of you. I worry that one day you’re all going to realise I’m just an old conman that’s been conning you all into believing I’m something I’m not.”

“Stan…”

Stan shrugged. “I’m just telling you the truth, Sixer.”

“It’s not the truth though. I wanted this, I love having you here with me. I just… wish you’d believe it.”

Stan’s face turned sad, glancing over to Ford for a moment before looking to his feet, shame bubbling up though Ford didn’t think Stan was guilty of anything other than needing help. “Some days I do, some days I don’t. Some days are just particularly hard to believe it.”

“Will you tell me when those days happen? Will you let me try and help?”

Stan paused in his remorse, turning back to Ford searchingly. “If you really want me to.”

“I really want you to.”

“…OK. Next time I have a bad day, I’ll tell you.”

Ford felt himself relax slightly, the tension in his spine slipping away with that promise. But it wasn’t enough, there was still another pressing matter. “And? How are you feeling today?”

“Better? Weird, maybe? Just different I guess. I don’t know…” Stan blinked, a stuttered broken laugh escaping him as if it suddenly all made sense. “I think that’s it actually. That night I didn’t know anything and it terrified me. I was ready to give up and stop but… I still feel the same now. I still have no idea what might happen in the future, good or bad but thinking back on the things I could have missed...” He bit his lip, worrying it between his teeth. “I mean, it feels like a good idea, what we’re doing now that is, but who knows if it’ll end in disaster like everything else I touch does…” Stan turned to Ford, his mouth twisting thoughtfully as he shook his head to stop Ford from arguing with him on that point. “Or maybe it won’t end badly, who knows? Either way… I think I’d like to see where the future takes us, instead of giving up without giving it a chance… just one day at a time, you know?”

The air left Ford’s lungs in a wobbling hiss of energy as he tugged Stan close, pressing his head against his temple and closing his eyes as the gravity of it all sunk in along with bright lightheaded relief.

“That’s all I need to hear, bro, that’s all I need.”

.

AN: This feels a bit more optimistic this time round? I dunno XD I can explain in story but not in my own words. Ehh, I feel like it’s been that way for a while now. Always easier to wrap my head around things if I write them in story form.

Anywho, I’m happy that this got a sequel, it wasn’t ever going to get one considering it was a vent fic so... yeah, I’m glad that things worked out this way. Really sat down and thought about stuff this weekend. Good weird feeling? ...Good weird feeling.

Also Night in the Woods dialogue hit me hard and I need to write quotes down somewhere in my journal to keep them close to my chest.

[milldawg]

COMPLETE OVERWATCH COSPLAY GUIDE: PART II

I'm back with Part II of my Overwatch cosplay guide! The reviews of Part I are in, and I couldn't be happier! The New York Review of Books is calling it "A selection of words that, when arranged in a particular sequence, adhere adequately to the conventions of written English, and can be sufficiently comprehended by any minimally proficient speaker of the language(1)." Humbled by such effusive praise, I have endeavored to outdo myself in Part II, in which I share my best tips for cosplaying Overwatch's seven "Defense" heroes. Let's jump right in!

TORBJÖRN

Unless your dad was a gnome, you may have some difficulty replicating Torbjörn's squat physique. But luckily, there's more to Torbjörn than just his lumpy stature -- he's got that famous turret! If you can build a decent-looking turret, everyone will identify you right away as Overwatch's sassy Swedish engineer. So I'd recommend that you focus on the turret. Obsess over the turret. Lose sleep over the turret. Devote yourself to the turret. Worship the turret. Begin erecting turrets in your backyard. Then, your neighbor's backyard. Soon, an entire street will be lined with your glorious turrets.

These turrets are your legacy. They are your empire. Craft each turret with the gentle love of a father, yet also with the wild passion of a lover. Let the soot-black hand of immortal Hephaestus guide your hammer as you assemble turret after gleaming turret, hour after sweltering hour, week after sleepless week. Enslave yourself to the forge. Consecrate yourself to the flame. Anoint yourself with molten iron. In these turrets shall you render an eternal monument to your will.

Thousands of years in the future, when archaeologists from a distant galaxy unearth the remains of our long-dead civilization, your turrets will shape the very core of their anthropology. Generations of alien geniuses will contemplate your creation with awe and wonder as they struggle in vain to piece together the meaning of Humanity. Beyond this mortal universe, your name will echo infinitely across the hallowed halls of Heaven as the Angels sing your praises into the Void, out beyond the edge of time itself.

JUNKRAT

Junkrat is a bit rough around the edges, so you'll want to work on that beat-up scrapper look. To start out, singe the tips of your hair with a cigarette lighter. (If you're under 18, ask your parents for help with this step.) Sweep a chimney or two. Set off some Roman candles in a small, poorly ventilated room. Sear your entire body over an open flame. Turn on your oven and climb inside it. Roast yourself at 400 degrees for 55 minutes or until tender. Let cool. Garnish with parsley and bay leaves. Serve with rice pilaf and a dark Merlot. Cheers, mate!

BASTION

Not many cosplayers are willing to take on the challenge of cosplaying Bastion(2). His outlandish hairstyle and unwieldy poleaxe can pose some real difficulties. But fear not! I've got you covered.

It's pretty easy to recreate Bastion's signature purple cape. Any purple sheet or curtain will do, though if you do shell out the extra cash for an actual cape, it can make a big difference. You can make the helmet out of cardboard without too much trouble, but be sure to factor in the extra time it will take to carve the runic inscription into the visor. It's all in the details!

For the poleaxe, you can probably get away with some combination of styrofoam and glue. It might not look beautiful, but if you swing it around rapidly enough, no one will really be able to tell. Just be careful not to whack anyone!

The hair is probably the hardest part. If you can grow your hair out to waist length like Bastion, that's ideal, but if you don't have time to plan that far ahead, you'll have to get creative. Whether it's your real hair or a wig, it can take a really long time to do all those braids. But if you invest the effort, your cosplay will truly stand out. I've only cosplayed as Bastion a few times, but when I took the time to get the braids right, I got lots of compliments!

HANZO

No.  Not Hanzo. Anyone but Hanzo. Please, for the love of God, cosplay any other character, or none at all. Never Hanzo.

If you do insist on cosplaying Hanzo, you're on your own. I'm not giving you any tips. This is your choice, and you have to live with the consequences of your actions. I hope you fail -- for the good of us all. You are the reason Trump won the election. You are the reason God created mosquitos. May you step on a LEGO at a Nickelback concert(3).

MEI

Mei is one of the easiest characters to cosplay. Put on a fur coat and yoga pants, toss a sentient bowling ball in a backpack, throw on some hipster glasses and Uggs, and you're done. Add some unique flavor to your cosplay by loudly reciting every single one of Mr. Freeze's ice puns from Batman & Robin. Fun fact: the voice actor for Mei is actually Arnold Schwarzenegger(4)!

Oh, and if the bowling ball develops self-awareness and enslaves humanity, you can just switch to quoting The Terminator.

WIDOWMAKER

Widowmaker's most salient feature is, of course, her purple skin. But don't waste your money on expensive and dangerous dyes or paints! It's much easier just to time travel to the '90s, break into a McDonald's storage facility, and steal a Grimace suit. Grimace's purple color and lithe physique are a great starting point for developing a truly stunning Widowmaker cosplay.

If you're not stealthy enough to pull off a wacky time travel heist, well, I hate to break it to you, but you probably aren't cut out to cosplay Widowmaker. Sorry, kid, but I calls 'em like I sees 'em.

Once you've acquired the Grimace suit and returned to the 21st century, you'll need to customize the suit a bit to capture Widowmaker's spider aesthetic. What I usually suggest for first-time cosplayers is to glue hundreds of live tarantulas to the exterior of the suit. That'll turn some heads! Then, to approximate Widowmaker's rifle, use any long, thin object such as a floor lamp or a fishing rod. Finally, enlist the aid of a beret-clad cartoon snail to teach you French, and you'll be instantly recognizable as Overwatch's sultry sniper!

CARMEN SANDIEGO

Though you'll often hear Overwatch players complaining about Carmen Sandiego's unconventional gameplay and TOTALLY broken ultimate, she's pretty popular to cosplay. Her unmistakable red hat and trenchcoat are easy to find at most department stores, and her plasma pistol looks an awful lot like a can opener (hint, hint). Just make sure you -- sorry, hold on a sec. I'm getting a call.

Hello? Yes, this is he. The new one? Yeah, I'm working on -- yeah. Uh-huh. Mm-hmm. Oh. Really? Are you sure? I thought -- Uh-huh. Oh, I -- OK. Huh. Well, I mean, I already wrote a whole paragraph on her, so -- Yeah. I think so. I'll check. Yeah, wow, you're right. I could have sworn -- no, yeah. Geez. Yeah, I'll delete that part. For sure. Take it easy. Thanks. OK. Yeah. Buh-bye.

Sorry about that. So yeah, apparently Carmen Sandiego isn't a character in Overwatch? God, I had no idea. I'm really sorry to have wasted your time like this. Man, this is really embarrassing. I don't know what to say. Please forgive me.

FOOTNOTES

(1) Pretend this footnote is a link to an actual article.  Obviously I made it up. Just do me this one courtesy and let it slide this time. (2) As always, I offer no evidence for this claim. It is, at best, baseless speculation. (3) There's no footnote. I just wanted to make you scroll all the way down here for no reason, you filthy weasel. (4) This one is actually true(5). (5) It isn't.

[dcmissionaries]

Something Smells Fishy

Summer finally arrived in Daten and boy was the heat blistering. The new residents, the Originals, have become scarce due to direct exposure to the sun and the heat. Humans and Immortals are doing somewhat better but it's gotten hot to the point where the A/C isn't enough. It's either a good time to go to the beach or to stay shut in all day with the freezer opened next to you. Even some ghosts have ducked down until those triple digits go down. The Abbey residents are taking this calm time to either relax or evaluate any renovation the building requires and other mundane tasks. It was now the weekend and Shades didn't hesitate to fetch Strappon as soon as he made his daily visit. He explained that his father required some extra hands at his job considering some... unfortunate circumstances befell his crew. Let's not get into those details. Even with those details that should be concerning, Strappon agreed to let Shades bring along the bunch. It's not like they're strangers to danger. Or so he hoped. As the Abbey residents neared the docks, the weather suddenly began getting gloomy. It was a relief from the merciless sun, but holy shit does it smell like rotten fish. Finally making it to Leather Jacket's shrimping boat, the old man turn around, waving at everybody before realizing the box he was carrying was too heavy for one hand. Once preparations were complete, the boat sped off into the ocean. After a while they began drifting as Leather Jacket sent out the net when everybody comes by a particular scene. A luxury yacht. That's something you just don't see in the dingy parts of Daten. Unbeknownst to them, this yacht was housing Demons who have been getting information about a ghost living in the ocean. They were more than keen to capture this ghost to harness it and wreak havoc. Now whether Immortals end up competing for ghosts or if the ghost wrecks both ships is up in the air, what matters more is what kind of deep sea monstrosity is that net going to pull up.

SOMETHING SMELLS FISHY All hands on deck as the Abbey residents are called in to be extra help for Ol'Leather Jacket. But something smells fishy and not just literally. --------

K-RO:  Despite the strange yacht being over yonder, it was a relaxing  atmosphere for the most part. Leather Jacket instructed some Angels,  and maybe some humans, to have a watchful eye on the crane while  others were instructed to do some heavy lifting by cleaning up and  organizing equipment.   On the yacht, HP was peering over the edge, hoping to see if the  ghost would breach the water, even if for a second. "Even if reports  say its a ghost, wouldn't it be cool if it was some Lovecraftian  creature?" he said to anybody that happened to be nearby.

SAIYAN:  "HP, has anyone told you how much of a nerd you are? Bowtie said.  Seriously, she didn't understand half the stuff that came out of the  orange demon's mouth.

 Meanwhile the duo of Undershirt and Wristband looked around the boat.  "When they said fishing I thought they meant with rods and reals in a  rowboat or something, not this." Wristband said.

 "Smells a like dead fish, kinda like you after a hard night of  partying" Undershirt said to his older twin.

 "Shut the fuck up" she said punching him in the arm.

K-RO:  "Hey listen, you have no right to talk when you're a bookworm  yourself. I've seen youget emotional on some of the books you've been  reading in public," HP retorted.

SAIYAN:  "Hmph" Bowtie huffed with a blush. "Th..that's different. Books are  healthy, technology just gives you cancer" she said. She really had no  good argument to be honest.

K-RO:  "What does Lovecraftian literature have to do with technology?"  Honestly she didn't look like he had a good argument, here.

  "Hey Wristband!" Shades called out, "you need some aloe vera for that  burn?"

MLLERMANDA:  Gauges started to whine about all the heavy lifting he had to do. He  was carrying some boxes and was one of them people assigned to clean  up the place. " It's not fair! Why wasn't I put assigned to watch the  crane and to not carry these heavy box. Ugh."

K-RO:  "Because I'm old and you're not," Leather Jacket said as he passed  Gauges while dragging around some harpoons. "At least they're just a  couple of boxes."

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  Knittens was poking at the fish with a stick he found, trying to see  if they were still alive. Once in a while some them would show signs  of life but most of them were dead. Either by getting caught or his  constant poking. Knittens was too little to help with lifting crates  so he would help by watching the crane, which was not happening. Bored  out of his mind he continually annoyed the already dying fish.  Facsinator was actually not with Knittens, he was on the yacht looking  out at the sea. Instead of bursting with energy like usual, he was  subdued and quiet. His eyes were glazed over and expression a little  ill; with a gentle whisper he muses,  "I feel like I'm dying."

SAIYAN:  "I don't want to talk about it" she said as she folded her arms.

 "I think we might have to dump her in the ocean to sooth that one"  Undershirt said with a laugh. "I still can't believe we had nothing  better to do than this. You'd think we'd get taken away to some  prehistoric land and fight to the death with the way things usually  go" he said.

GAMER-GODDESS:  Passing by Gauges with an annoyingly cheerful spring in her step,  "It's not that bad, just lift with your knees!" Thigh High laughed as  she carried two boxes in order to make her flexing appear more  natural.

K-RO:  "That'll probably quench her thirst, too," Shades laughed. He looked  up a little, thinking on what Undershirt had said.   it would be cool to see dinosaurs, actually!"

MLLERMANDA:  He whines some more as he talks with others. " But still, little me is  young and fresh but not the machoest person out there. " Gauges laughs  at Thigh High's comment and shake his head. " There no way I can do  th-" However, he notices something and stares at amazement with the  harpoons that Shades was carrying and how easily Tigh High was doing  this hard work. " Wow, you guy are super strong!" He admires the  Angels some more, losing some focus on the boxes he was carrying.

SAIYAN:  "I hate you two" Wristband said still refusing to look at them.

 "Yeah I know how much you love em. Speaking of, how have your dragons  been?" Undershirt asked Shades.

 "See, I told you I'm not a nerd. I had no idea what that was" Bowtie  said to Hp.

K-RO:  "Oh you know. Being dragons. Getting big. Getting nipped because they  get curious. But hey, my furniture isn't wrecked anymore." As he was  explaining the nipping bit, he brought up a hand with a bandage on it.  Dragons will be dragons.

  "You don't have to be a nerd to know who was Cthulhu's creator,  though."   HP shrugged it off and noticed that Fascinator wasn't doing so hot,  "Yo, you okay? Sea sickness getting to ya?"

SAIYAN:  "Well that's good. Y'know, if they get to big you should probably air  drop them into the football stadium. That should be big enough. And  you know how bad our football team is" Undershirt suggested.

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  "Yeah... A little bit but I'm never gonna be on a yacht again so it's  worth it." Fasci said with an attempted smile as he took out a ginger  root, snapped a little piece off and inhaled the scent. He seemed to  have perked up a little after that, but the color of his once rosy  cheeks didn't return.  "Plus I already vomited out my meals after the ship set sail; so... I  won't barf anymore." he showed a  weak thumbs up and he returns to  looking at the sea.  "So... This ghost you guys are catching must be really valuable, huh?"

GAMER-GODDESS:  Thigh High grinned at Gauges comment, "Why thank you!" she said as she  put her boxes down. Waltzing back over to Gauges, "Would you mind if I  helped?" Thigh High asked as she relieved him from one of the boxes  from his grip.

K-RO:  "Dude, that's mean. But you have a point," Shades replied.

  "Well, the thing is that we're unsure if it's actually here. But the  locals say it's a big creature so we couls benefit from capturing it."

MLLERMANDA:  " No problem."  He says as he looks at her and nothing her taking a  box. He smiles happily at Thigh High as she takes the box. " That  would be awesome~ " Thanks a lot." He grins at her with glee as he  gains more focus.

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  "So it's like a lochness monster situation-" Fasciantor replied before  bending over the railing of the ship and gagging. Coughing and sighs,  "S-Sorry, no food in my belly. So while we wait for it to show up,  what should we do?"

GAMER-GODDESS:  "No worries, anytime you need help with lifting, just give me a  shout." Thigh High winked. "Though I'd prefer to work in nicer weather  conditions, and without this smell..." she muttered as she balanced  the box on her hip with her left hand and waved the air with her right  in front of her nose, attempting to lessen the odor.

ZAKUTAKU:  He never asked for this. He never asked for anything, in all honesty.  But if it was anythig to get him out of work for more than 2 hours,  Pack was your man. Your coffee addicted man.

ZAKUTAKU:  Strolling up with coffee maker in toll on a wagon, the heavenbent gave  half hearted wave to most of the crew, taking seat on a box while he  sipped from his precious life stream of black goodness. He should've  brought a bag of beans for munching purposes.

K-RO:  "We could try getting that fishing boat off the premise, bullshit a  story of how the bay's closed to boats due to some... strange  occurrences."  There weren't any other boats around so that alone could be an  advantage to the Demons.  "I mean if anything, it doesn't hurt to ram the boat to show it who's  boss if the people on it refuse to leave."

 "How are you kids holding up? I got a little something if any of you  get sea sick. It's mostly sprite, but it'll make you feel better, at  least."Leather Jacket held out a small can, pointing to a cooler  inside the boat's cabin.

 Shades looked off to the side and noticed that his cousin managed to  get dragged here. He couldn't tell if Pack's father forced him to come  or his own.  "Is it your day off, Pack?" he asked.

MLLERMANDA:  " So true right there Thigh High." He coughs a bit from the smell, god  it was killing him.  " Man this place stinks so bad.There way too many  fish stank in here. Wish there was a bunch of air fresher of pine  cones or something. Any smell is better than this. " He pinches his  nose fromthe smell.

ZAKUTAKU:  Oh shit, what up, it's that cousin. Setting his pot down, Pack raised  his hand in a slightly shaky motion.                                             "Half and half, my dude." He said with a small yawn. "Dad  wanted me to do some heavenly hocus pocus or what not after work, and  weeeell I'm not all for poking around with magic stuff yet. That and I  actually felt like doing some huntin'." He continued, getting off the  box and fetching Black Friday from his wagon. "Me 'n' the BF could use  it anyway."

K-RO:  "Hopefully that the BF can fend off deep sea monstrosities.... Not  like the blob fish is anything to be afraid of." It was weird and all  but still.  "For a fact, dad's been saying something about how all the folks have  been seeing weird things in the bay."

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  Fascinator shrugged , he was too nauseous to have conscious.  "Sure, I'm not against it." he yawns and stretches a little. Having no  idea that Knittens lied about volunteering at his catholic school and  was on that exact boat.  Knittens wanted to help to help lift the crates as well! Afterall,  he'll need to do this when he's getting supplies from his ship in  space. But he bit off more than he could chew, dragging a crate his  height a millimeter a second.

SAIYAN:  "Well well well look who it is" Undershirt said to Pack. "What kind of  weird things?" he asked Shades.

 Wristband simply waved to Pack. She wasn't in a good mood still after  getting her ass dragged through the freacking dirt like that.

ZAKUTAKU:  "Well, the sea is the sea, my dude."  Personally, Pack  believed that  hell originated at the bottom of the ocean. Only a being of pure demon  blood would create something as horrific as the Basking Shark. Gaping  mouths nonetheless, Pack was in one of his rare good moods. There were  more people to converse with and maybe he might even talk to someone??  Such an exhilarating day already.

K-RO:  "Something about a weird snake-like creature," Leather Jacket  interjected, "It's been scaring a great deal of fishermen, which is  why not a lot of boats are out, but I think sea madness be getting to  those pendejos."  He then told Shades to monitor the kid who seemed to be struggling  with a crate. Well, better help that child before he breaks his back.

MLLERMANDA:  Bobby Pin gives out a big loud ass yawn, relaxing on the yacht and was  getting herself a tan.  She wears a new flashy bikini and was showing  off her hair new hair style, now being a hard core blonde.

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  Knittens will not give in, he will succeed, he will triumph over this  mountain in his path to glory for his name was Knit Mittens Butch  Trump, gosh darn it! Even if it took him hours to push this one crate  to the other side of the boat, he will not rest in the snow or in the  rain! Well maybe for a snack, but Knittens will come back afterwards!  Despite his heroic speech in his mind, Knittens looks more like he was  gonna get a stroke in his winter clothes.

GAMER-GODDESS:  "Are you sure it wasn't just these guns?" Thigh High announced as she  flexed her arms over her head. go home thigh high ur drunk

SAIYAN:  "I feel like that's a load of bull. There is no such thing as a sea  monster Wristband finally said. She was not one to believe in  cryptids, no way.

 "Same I don't think a sea serpent can survive here" Undershirt agreed.

ZAKUTAKU:  And there came the first two confidants of conversation for Pack  today. "Yeah, it's me. Ready to serve under God's wing or whatever you  all say." He was trying. He really was. The whole flying around and  serving God part he got, the stripping he also got. His dad did it  regularly for Christ's sake. It's just the book itself he needed to  brush up on. And even from a few feet away, Pack could taste the salt  emanating from Wristband. Sliding out a pink straw from his namesake,  Pack dropped it in his pot, sliding the warm container towards the  angel. "It's black, but I can add some creamer if you want, bruh." He  added. Again, he was trying.

K-RO:  "Well who knows. If we have aliens, there's bound to be something in  the bay. Not like the ocean's explored thoroughly or anything." With  that, Leather Jacket went back to whatever the hell he was doing.  Probably eyeing down the yacht. That boat smelled funnier than the bay  itself.

 Shades grabbed on to the crate, giving it little pushes for Knittens,  "You need help, little man?"

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  "I.. Can do it! I swear...!! I got this!" Knittens grunted as he  pushed harder, but the crate refused to budge and it ended up pushing  me onto the ground. It's hard to say what happened but he ended up on  the ground exhausted. A small lump in his hat started to crawl out  because of the heat. It was no one else but Wool, who wasn't expecting  a sudden sauna. Skittering across the ship's floor it began nibbling  away at the crate wood.

CURIOUS PYROBIRD:  A sound like a hail storm came from below deck as Buckle sprinted from  below deck, shoved the door, and leaned over the railing heaved her  stomach's contents over the side of the yacht. "Well, shit," she said  to herself. "That shrimp was a lot better the first time." She spit  into the ocean, trying to clear the rest of the acid from her mouth.

MLLERMANDA:  He chuckles at Thigh High and plays along. " Oh my, I think you are  right. Those guns are able to achieve anything and everything, if you  know what I mean."

SAIYAN:  "Two creams, if you would be so kind" she said to Pack with fluttering  eyelashes. She was trying to turn on the charm. Maybe she could turn  this day around with a big catch of her own.

 "Yeah well, I'll believe it when I see it" Undershirt said folding his  arms. He looked over at Wristband. "Even surrounded by the smell of  dead fish, she is focused in getting laid" he thought with a shake of  his head.

OFFICERCOFFINCAT:  Fox  looked around , with her namesake covering her nose,"who the hell  forgot to bathe? Like hooooly fuck."  She wandered the yacht in search  of a group to stick with. With no luck she found herself resting  against a railing. "Hmph..well ain't this just a grand way to spend a  day...yuck.." She huffed.

ZAKUTAKU:  Ah, the ol' flutter of the eyelashes. If only he was at a more  innocent mindset to be affected by such a skill. But Pack was Pack,  and having seen so many attractive persuasions used on him to lower  down prices, he had grown numb it to it.  Nodding in affirmation, Pack  plopped in the two small shots of sugar infused half and half into the  coffee pot, stirring it up with his respective straw.  "Cheers,chickadee," he said before taking a sip from his straw.  Perfect blend of bitter and sweet. Juuuuust right.

(( OOC: PSA: Angels, Thrones and Heavenbents are on the smelly fishing boat. Demons, Inquisitors and Hellbents are in the nice yacht. ))

(( OOC: Gotcha) ))

K-RO:  Shades lifted the crate for Knittens, struggling a bit himself, but it  wasn't excruciating. "Hey man, it's okay to call for help. But perhaps  you should take off your winter clothes. It's the middle of summer,  after all."

 Leather Jacket was pretty much sitting in the cabin, overlooking a  sonar system. All seemed well until it caught something heading in the  boat's direction. It must have been a dolphin or something as they are  common in the area, although a singular dolphin is a rare thing. As  the figure on the sonar was depicted to be right under the boat, there  was a sudden violent swaying, nearly knocking him off  his feet.  Shades let go of the crate and held on to whatever he could so he  wouldn't go overboard.

 "What thE FUCK. Are there shitty whales in the area or something?"

 HP's own sonar system was barely catching the movements of this  creature and noticed the fishing boat rocking. "I think we may want  all hands on deck, here!"

MLLERMANDA:  Gauges felt the violet sway and trips on his own feet. He drops the  rest of the boxes that he was carrying and falls hard on the ground. "  OUCH. What the hell was that?"

SAIYAN:  "WHAT THE FUCK" Undershirt and Wristband both yelled as they were  tossed around the boat. Wristband literally got her ass dragged across  the floor this time, and it hurt worse than her brothers stupid  remark.

 "Well, would you look at that. If they weren

SAIYAN:  't a salty bunch before, they will be now" Bowtie said as she looked  through some binoculars at the rocking fishing boat.

MLLERMANDA:  Bobby Pin was dozening off and was about to knock out until she  notices the rocking fishing boat. She laughs at them from the yacht  and then goes back to suntanning, not noticing that she was getting a  sunburn.

OFFICERCOFFINCAT:  Fox feels the ship rock and she clings onto a crate, her face turing a  comical green, "For the love of-" *she hurls off  deck and she looks  around ,"aaand there goes the four hundred dollar lunch..fuckin fish  food now I guess.." Fox grumbled as  she watched crates slide around  the ship. With a grunt she wobbled to the nearest rail and she held on  tight. "ANYBODY KNOW WHAT THE FUCK JUST DID THAT!?" Fox yelled.

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  Fascinator unable to keep his voice cheery switches to a much more low  and quiet tone; almost sounding like a new person. "Oh shit...!" He  stared in awe at the ship and the suspense was almost killing him.  Knittens almost slid off the ship but luckily his hamster-spider  managed to keep him from going in the salty sea by hooking his tiny  claw on his coat.Acting fast he took his mittens out of his coat and  tied himself to the railing.

GAMER-GODDESS:  "Wow, rude!" yelled Thigh High she was thrown into the boat's railing.  Looking into the water the young angel announced "WHERE ARE THE  HARPOONS? I'm gonna fight the fish!"

ZAKUTAKU:  A sound of glass breaking. If the shaking of the boat didn't spook  Pack, then what he saw next definitely would. His precious coffee pot,  his life stream... broken.  He was going to murder, he was going to  fucking murder someone and he hoped it was a ghost. Grabbing BF, Pack  threw whatever fucks he gave out the metaphorical window as he scanned  the waters, weapon in hand.

MLLERMANDA:  " I'm not sure what knock us over Fox but all I know is that what ever  knocked this ship is going to get an ass whooping out of all us here."  He gets up angrily and fixes himself up as he takes his weapon out. "  And by the way Thigh High, Shades was the last one who had the  harpoons, I'll bet he give you them." He swings his made a bit,  getting ready to battle whatever hit them.

K-RO:  "The harpoons were on the harpoon launcher... on top of the ship. They  weren't tied down to anything so we only have one."  Leather Jacket regained his footing with the only harpoon left, "But  hey, at least it's the one I stabbed a guy with, so I'm okay with the  rest being lost."

 "That's not something to be casual about, Pa!" Shades yelled. Of all  things.

 Whatever hit the boat had its back breaching the water surface and was  quickly making itself to the yacht, ramming itself before activity  ceased. Its impact made the boat rock, but it wasn't as violent as the  smaller fishing boat.  "That sashimi bastard better not puncture the hull I swear on Satan's  ass," HP muttered to himself.

MLLERMANDA:  Gauges becomes worried by Leather Jacket's response and gulps. " Welp,  well let's hope whatever this thing is, we can kill it quick and easy  with harpoon that you got."

ZAKUTAKU:  "C'mon you SeaWorld escapee fatherfucker..." Pack muttered under his  breath, grip steady on the BF as he kept his eyes focused on the  waters. The sooner that sunuvabitch reared it's ugly head out, it was  getting a face full of flame.

K-RO:  Shades pulled back Pack from the edges of the boat, "Listen man,  whatever's in the water could be another Mocha Dick and I don't feel  like telling your parents you were eaten by an asshole sperm whale,  okay?"

MLLERMANDA:  Bobby Pin felt the rock on the yacht but it didn't bother her at all.  She gives out another yawn and comments on the rocking of the boat. "  So weak. " Sweat goes down from her face and she swipes the sweat by  using a handkerchief she brought with her, not bothered by the  creature at all.

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  Fascinator was knocked into the wall and tried to steady himself on  legs of jelly. Reaching behind his head and taking out a shard of his  now broken fascinator, he grits his teeth. "F-Fuck me... Shouldn't  have used actual shells making this." The rocking of the ship was  enough to make fall to his knees and gag.  Knittens loosened the knot on the railing but still clung to it.  Looking around the sea for any dark shadows he gulped. "G-Guys... Why  did it just disappear?"

GAMER-GODDESS:  "I guess that means we can guarantee another successful stabbing!"  Thigh High nodded as she placed her hands on her hips, "Well shit if  we only have one shot, we should definitely shoot it in its ugly mug."  She decided mostly to herself, turning to Leather Jacket "I assume  you're the only one here who's really good with a harpoon launcher?"

SAIYAN:  "Can we please stop talking about dicks!" Undershirt yelled at Shades.  The innuendos were getting to be too much. He'd been tossed around a  boat ad hit his head multiple times. He just wanted to kill whatever  it was that was doing this,

 "I'd like to keep talking about dicks" Wristband said as she raised  her hand. That was a conversation she could get into.

 "WHOA" Bowtie yelled as she was tossed round as her expensive  binoculars were dropped on the ground. "That thing better not break  them!" she thought in anger. those things were expensive as hell.

OFFICERCOFFINCAT:  "Well fuck me sideways...I'm not gettin wacked because of some Shamoo  wannabe!" She readys her namesake, looking around the boat. "Come out  Come out wherever you are Moby Douche bag.." She hears Knittens  ,"It..might be under us..."

K-RO:  "Nobody's talking about expanding dongs but you Undershirt!" Shades  retorted.

 "I think," Leather Jacket started, fiddling around with the harpoon,  "Honestly I only use the harpoon launcher on other boats because some  people tend to be assholes."

 HP looked back to his sonar and it was clearly reading a stagnant,  large object right underneath them.  "This motherfucker's right here," he said, showing the sonar to  Bowtie, "Dunno how we're going to catch this thing... Or if it even is  a ghost... Do we have bait?"

ZAKUTAKU:  "I'm still fighting it," was all he said to his cousin. His coffee pot  would be avenged, goddamn it.

OFFICERCOFFINCAT:  "Hmmmm we're gonna need some live bait…preferably tied up..any  volunteers?" She looks around, resting volpe next to her. "Ohh One  at  a time guys." Fox yawned.

SAIYAN:  "We could use Bobby Pin? Maybe it likes human meat?" Bowtie suggested.  It was worth a shot. If it wasn't a ghost it would be a good way to  lure it in so they could take down the creature.

 "Then what's with all the Mocha Dick talk?" Undershirt asked as he  shook his head and gained his senses back.

 Wristband immediately lost interest in the conversation. She looked  around at the water. Everything looked pretty still for the the  moment.

GAMER-GODDESS:  "Then just pretend the fish is an asshole, which shouldn't be too hard  considering the situation." Thigh High stroked her chin for a moment  before suggesting, "I'd recommend going for the jugular, but you just  do you."

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  Fascinator felt tiny drips of blood on the back of his neck, as he  wiped it away he eyes the water.  "Er... Maybe we have something else?" He points inside the cabin with  unsuspecting eyes. You are too trusting of demons Fasci.  Knittens  regained his balance and hugged Wool. "Maybe it's gone  home?"

K-RO:  "We could try that, where's the human?" HP asked,looking up from the  sonar.

 Leather Jacket shook his head, "No, we're not going to use anybody as  bait. Unless we get someone from that yacht over there. I mean they're  rich, who will miss them? Certainly not their folks who are probably  waiting for them to die for the inheritance."

 "Because it was a shitstain whale and I don't want this kid being  eaten by a whale a la Pinocchio here." Shades said while pointing at  Pack.

OFFICERCOFFINCAT:  She stretches," C'mon someone's gotta be into that freaky bondage  stuff." Her phone rings and the jaws theme plays really loudly.  "....should..I answer this...?" Fox stared at the black screen.

ZAKUTAKU:  "I VOLUNTEER." Pack raised his weapon, both as confirmation and in  defiance of his cousin. "And I miiiight have a plan of sorts," he  added in, scooting alongside Leather Jacket.

MLLERMANDA:  Bobby Pin gives out another loud yawn,  giving away on where she was  at. She drinks her strawberry banana smoothie and eating some shrimp.

K-RO:  Leather Jacket stared at Pack, nearing glaring dagger into this kid,  "Mijo...If your mom didn't hesitate to kill our brother, what makes  you think she wouldn't hesitate to slit my throat for letting you get  eaten."  He shivered at the thought, shaking his head, "Sit your little ass  down, we're not using anybody as bait."

 "I think we know where that human is," said HP.

SAIYAN:  "Yeah you have fun with that" Undershirt said to Pack. Thank god  someone was stupid enough to do it.

 "What are we waiting for then, LET'S GET HER" Bowtie yelled as she  started to head off

MLLERMANDA:  Bobby Pin contiues to munch on fancy shrimp with full desire.  She was  definetely taking full opportunities of living like the rich, not  noticing at all that demons were planning to use her as bait.

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  Fascinator didn't say anything because he was glad they didn't notice  him being half-human; getting the rope so he wouldn't be included on  the menu.

K-RO:  "Wait, what? I thought you were just joking." HP turned around to stop  Bowtie before she proceeded.

 Suddenly the creature breached the surface, clawing its way onto the  yacht's deck. It screeched announcing its presence, as if a giant sea  creature on a boat isn't all too obvious.

 "HOLY SHIT," yelled Shades, "I'm not messing with that..."

 HP began pushing Bowtie out of reflex and shoved themselves in the  cabin of the yacht, "THIS IS SCARY but cool, I wanna catch it!"

ZAKUTAKU:  "Fine, be fish food. I'm still fighting it." Cursed angelic relatives,  why can't they just go with the flow for fucks sake. If the angel's  wouldn't let him, then he'd have to take matters into his own hands.  And by that, he meant waiting. Despite wanting to rebel against  Leather Jacket, he made a fair argument about his mom. So he'd wait 10  minutes to jump off and swim to the beastie instead of the usual 5.  Hey, he was being considerate.

ZAKUTAKU:  And those five minutes came considerably faster. HOLY FUCK, THAT WAS  HUGE. And hey, it was going for the reddies first. Nice!

MLLERMANDA:  Gauges jumps out of fear, seeing this big ass creature. " HOLY SHIT!  That's one big monster." He shakes a bit, " Glad I'm not on that  shit."

SAIYAN:  "You would" Bowtie said to HP, not taking her eyes off that dragon  thing.

 "HOLY SHIT!" Undershirt and Wristband said at the creature attacking  that boat. Both were glad they weren't over there. But something told  them that they would have to deal with that thing.

GAMER-GODDESS:  Thigh High blinked

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  "OH MY FUCK...!" Fascinator yelped and took his gun out of his pocket  in panic. Trying to fire it at the thing but the safety was still on.  Snapping back to reality and realizing that this sea dragon was a  ghost and indeed not affected by human means. Meaning that he was  screwed. His stomach pains and dizziness wasn't helping this situation  either.  Knittens pulled out his phone and took a picture. "Neat."

MLLERMANDA:  Bobby Pin eats the last shrimp on her plate as the giant creature  appears on the yacht and starts to claw its way to the ship. The  shrimp falls dramatically along with the plate. She freezes from her  seat, " Oh shit." She stares at the dragon, mainly at its eyes and  gazes at it, not knowing that it was a ghost.

K-RO:  Leather Jacket casually made his way to the top of the boat, carrying  the harpoon, "I'll get the harpoon ready, I guess."

K-RO:  "Hey guys, I just noticed something on that ghost," Shades then points  to the face, "That's a person face, is this the reason why 95% of the  oceans are unexplored?"

MLLERMANDA:  She stares at the mighty beast and hears its mighty sound. Bobby takes  off her shades, not believing how big this shit was. She forces  herself to get off from her seat and goes against the wall off the  yacht and ends up giving a yelp, from the horrendous sunburn and her  "slight" fear of the beast.

ZAKUTAKU:  Holy shit, he was right. That absolutely was a dude's face on that  Lovecraftian abortion. "All the more to burn it," Pack said with a  small shudder. Dear nature; please stop.

OFFICERCOFFINCAT:  She gets close enough on the deck and she takes a selfie , the ghost  behind her on the yacht. "Heheh breakin the internet.." Fox snickers  and joins the others. " And this is why I poached shit. Ya  just get  inbred turds like these when you don't."

MLLERMANDA:  Gauges chuckles at Shades response, agreeing with him 150%. " Yeah  dude, you're totally right. This thing is uglier than sin itself."

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  "Like another person's face or it's face?" Knittens asked, squinting  his eyes at the beast. "Wait... No I see it! ...Ewwww." turning away  from the strange sight and covers Wool's eyes.  Fascinator was gasping for breathe as he tried to grasp the situation  he was in. He began to slowly back away from the dragon and almost  slipped from awe. "D-Damn..." Fasci triled off in thought of the  concept of death.

MLLERMANDA:  Bobby Pin shakes the dumb fear off the moment she pays attention to  its feature seeing that it was the creature they were wanted from and  gets excited right away. She throws her shades to the ground and takes  out her weapon. " Aww HELL YEA! ITS THE FUCKING BEAST I WAS WAITING  FOR! " She gives out a loud cheer at echoes through all out and jumps  towards the beast with no fear no more. She aims her weapon at the  beast.

K-RO:  Leather Jacket finally prepared the harpoon and carefully aimed at the  ghost. The harpoon was freshly blessed, so this should do some damage.  At least enough to weaken it. Or so he hoped. As it launched, Afrata  look towards the source of the launching noise. Screeching, it dodged  the harpoon and went back into the water, speeding towards the boat,  ramming it hard.  Now the old man and the harpoon were overboard.

 Shades rushed to the side of the boat, trying to get a hold of his  father, "OH FUCK."  A little help may be nice.

MLLERMANDA:  Gauges goes to the father and son duo and tries to help them out.

OFFICERCOFFINCAT:  She grunts and hops overboard , catching his father. She stabs her  naginata into the side of the boat, not enough to sink it. She stands  on it and hold up his pops, " Hurry the fuck up cramps is a lil  heavy!"  She huffs loudly.

K-RO:  Shades quickly grabs on to Leather Jacket's arm and gets pulled up  into the boat. With him safe, he holds out his hand to help out Stole,  "Hey, thanks."

 Leather Jacket just laid on the ground, trying to catch his breath,  "They did say being a fisherman was the most dangerous job in the  world."

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  Knittens crashed against the railing but managed to stay on board,  rubbing his side he tried to make it over to help before the creature  rams the boat again. "Oh nibble nuts...!" he cried out in panic.  Fascinator looked at the harpoon that shot into the yacht and tries to  pull it out.

OFFICERCOFFINCAT:  Fox nods and takes his hand ,letting her namesake shift back. " No  probs..he okay?" She climbs back aboard. "Thanks man"  she said as she  stretched.

K-RO:  "He'll live," Shades replied, "Not like he's new to this."

SAIYAN:  "Alright fuck this guy. Let's get him Wristband" Undershirt yelled as  he tranformed his namesake into his spiked flail and jumped off the  boat, flying towards the ghost.

 Wristband nodded her head and followed suit, transforming her namesake  into butterfly swords and attacking the creature as well.

OFFICERCOFFINCAT:  Stole nodded and cracked her knuckles, "Fair enough." She lets her  namesake shift back and she readys herself.

MLLERMANDA:  Gauges stays quiet and attacks the creature with force.

 Bobby Pin attack the creature, forgetting that it was at her side.

GAMER-GODDESS:  Thigh High transformed her namesake into her rapier before she also  flew towards the ghost, aiming straight for what she assumes was it's  jugular.

OFFICERCOFFINCAT:  Fox  decides to join the clusterfuck and runs to the end of the deck  before jumping off. She aimed her naginata  mid air and swung  downwards towards the ghost.

(( OOC: http://dcmissionaries.boards.net/thread/125/ghost-afrata For those not in the skype chat, here you go! The highest roll for the ghost is 17. If you get the range of 18 and over you hit the ghost! ))

ZAKUTAKU:  Welp, it was fight time. Grabbing the BF, Pack took a good hold of it,  aimed it towards the beast and...

ZAKUTAKU:  Nothing. Nada. Empty lighter plus can of full axe body spray equals a  slightly more tolerable smelling boat. Nonetheless, Pack was peeved.

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  Fascinator pulled out the harpoon and shrugged. May as well try  throwing it. But the moment he lifted it the harpoon's weight caused  his balance to shift, causing him to fall over pathetically. God damn  it, Fasci.

SAIYAN:  "Damn it! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" Undershirt yelled as he jumped back up  and lunged at the ghost. He build up momentum on his mace and swung  down.

 Wristband followed her brother's lead and slashed at the ghosts with  her swords

K-RO:  The first barrage of attacks were whiffed by Afrata, swimming around  quickly before going under to avoid most attacks. Once it breached it  went back to the fishing boat, keen on sinking it, circling it  viciously.

MLLERMANDA:  Gauges takes a moment to breath before taking another swing towards  the beast. However once he takes the swing, he notices the beast  circling around the ship that he was in. His face turn white and  starts to shake in panic, seeing it closer to them made him want to  kill it faster.

OFFICERCOFFINCAT:  Fox misses and squeaks, falling into the water. She treads water to  get to the boat, avoiding the beast, "Why meee" She swims up to the  ghost and she uses it as a stepping stool, jumping back onto the boat.  "Noooooope"

GAMER-GODDESS:  "Get back here and fIGHT ME!" Thigh High bellowed as she attempted to  downward thrust the ghost a la Zelda 2, but basic physics were against  her as she aimed too high and hit the water with a loud smack.

OFFICERCOFFINCAT:  She hears the splash and she growns, "not again.." Fox looks at Thigh  High , "You must be shitting me.." She rolls her eyes and dives back  in, swimming over to thigh high with a life preserver she found  hanging up. "YO CHICK I DON'T HONESTLY WANNA SAVE C'MERE"

ZAKUTAKU:  Ok, for real this time. Aiming BF at the beastie, Pack started up the  stream of Axe and flicked on the lighter, a small jet of stream coming  out and going right towards the deep fucker. Score one for the boys  back home. That's what people usually said, right? Right. Either way,  Pack got in a hit and he was proud of himself.

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  Fascinator spotted Knittens on the fishing boat that the ghost was  sinking and all bets were off. The rage of his young cousin about to  be killed fuels his sudden burst of strength as he dived into the  ocean with the harpoon. Swimming with all his strength, it took not  time at all to reach the ghost.  "Even if it's one hit..!" He mutters as he stabs the harpoon in it's  side, making sure he twists it inside before pulling it out. Realizing  he's in the water with a giant dragon he quickly swims back to the  fishing boat and waves for help.  Knittens spots his cousin and he grabs another life preserver and  throws it down.  "Hold on Fasci! I need to get some rope to let you up!"

K-RO:  If it was a bull, it would of been bucking furiously as it tried to  get Undershirt and Wrsitband off its back. Once those two were gone,  it once more circled the boat, dodging most subsequent attacks the  angels were throwing. It backed off when BF's flamed grazed it. It  didn't really appreciate that, but it didn't appreciate the sudden  harpoon even more.  Afrata then went on the offensive, speeding off for Fascinator and  launching him into the air. Luckily for him, there was a soft surface  where he would land on doing minimal to no damage at all.

MLLERMANDA:  Bobby Pin lands into the water and the water stings her body. She  swims in the ocean and tries to go back to the yacht, doing a terrible  job on fighting the ghost.

 Gauges sighs happily at this, seeing that everyone was able to take  out the scary ghost. However, he looks up and notices a human launched  off by the beast. He stares at the kid, being glad that it was him  that was launched off by the monster.

SAIYAN:  Undershirt's anger was rising. That ghost just wouldn't go down. It  was almost like it was toying with them. "HOW DARE YOU?! YOU THINK  THIS IS A GAME?!!" he yelled as a bright light encased him, fading to  a yellow aura. His eyes blue and blond hair. "HAAAAA" He yelled as he  flew back down and swung his flail, striking the ghost as hard as he  could.

 Wristband just blinked at her brother's display, but followed his lead  and slashed at the ghost herself, concentrating on trying to hit any  weak points.

GAMER-GODDESS:  "Oi, if you don't have anything nice to say then don't bother." Thigh  High rolled her eyes as she forcefully pushed the life preserver  around Fox and swam them both back to the boat. "NOW ISN'T THE TIME TO  START SHIT, PAL!" She yelled as she climbed to the highest point of  the boat only to repeat her previous action with the same  unsatisfactory results.

OFFICERCOFFINCAT:  Fox crosses her arms and she climbs up with her, "Fiiiine." She  gets  the water out of her ear and she runs at the ghost to miss yet again.

K-RO:  Seeing that the ghost was being overwhelmed by the Angels, HP began  preparing a harpoon of his own. One that will stay attached to the  machinery. As he aimed, he fired, piercing the ghost clean through  it's body. Not being able to do much in its weakened state, Afrata was  now being dragged back to the yacht.

ZAKUTAKU:  Pack's palms were a tad bit sweaty. Knees slightly weak and arms  heavy. The coffee was starting to wear off a bit already. But he had  one last can of axe on him. He HAD to be cool guy now. Taking a good  look at the dragged ghost, The heavenbent got a running start with  what reserved energy he had and jumped off the boat, Trigger happy  with his flames as he jabbed at whatever he could. "REPENT OR SOME  SHIT, FUCKERMOTHER," He spurted out, before plopping into the ocean,  surfacing back up to see if he actually managed to blaze the beastie.

MLLERMANDA:  Gauges jumps in joy, seeing the beast was taken out by Pack. It was  amazing to watch.  " PACK, YOU DID IT! Your the hero dude~"

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  Knittens dropped the rope down but too late as his guardian was thrown  off into the distance. Tears swelled in his eyes and the sniffles  began over his cousin's presumed death.  Fasci couldn't scream because his whole being was frozen in fear, and  as he flew he landed  back on the shore where a truck full of pillows  happened to crash and leave a giant mound of pillows. He started to  scream bloody hell when he realized he was alive with no broken bones  or harm. Fascinator holds the harpoon in victory as he goes back to  the shore line to watch the battle from afar.  "FUCK ME...! KNITTENS HOLD ON!" Grabbing the harpoon again he swam  back to the ship in panic. Well atleast he's getting exercise.

SAIYAN:  Undershirt panted a bit before flying to the boat and landing. His  aura faded away as his eyes and hair went back to normal. Wristband  followed suit and landed next to him. Se would have to learn how to do  that.

 Meanwhile, Bowtie peered over the bottom of the window.

 "It looks like those angels managed to do it" She said to HP.

K-RO:  The holy flames set fire to the ghost. It then started to bloat where  it exploded right afterwards.  HP dramatically arched backwards, burying his face in his hands and  slowly fell to the floor.

 "I H AD IT. I HAD IT RIGHT THERE AAAAAAAAAAh." He wept a little bit  before proclaiming, "I need a drink."

K-RO:  The bell tolled and 15 coins fell from the heavens, all landing on  Undershirt's head. That's for breaking canon.

 "Nice work Angels. I'll be taking those," said Shades as he began  picking up the coins. But Shades didn't even do anything, What a lazy  man.

OFFICERCOFFINCAT:  Fox crawls back on the deck and she flops on the floor, putting a  thumb in the air before she let her hand flow with her, "eeehhhh.."  She groaned in response.

SAIYAN:  "Oww..." Undershirt said as she twitched on the ground. On the bright  side, all of the water that came up on the deck washed all the junk  off and it no longer smelled like Wristband.

 "Hp, has anyone ever told you how much of a nerd you are?" Bowtie  asked. What goes around comes around I suppose.

K-RO:  HP stared at Bowtwie, "They've told me so many times," he said.  "It's not fair, though," He said in a childish tone. He really wanted  that ghost.

MLLERMANDA:  Gauges stands back and sees the others chatting among with each other.  Guess things are time and it's time to go back home for a brand new  day. He gives out a light uncomfortable smile before he puts his  weapon away and heads off home.

 Bobby Pin ends up seeing the angels winning and that made her angry.  Her skin was burning, her head was rushing but if anyone should be  made at themselves, it should be the demons. They should had known  what they were doing with the ghost and do a better job at it.

 She rages out of anger from the water and was able to climb back to  the yacht. She gets her stuff, steals some more shrimps from the yacht  and leaves.

CRACKEMWALNUTS:  Fascinator was literally exhausted from swimming to the fishing boat  but hugged the crying Knittens and petted his head.  "Shhhh... I'm fine, see? No dying today." he soothes as he puts Wool  in the boy's hands.  "You want ice cream? C'mon lets go get some ice cream when we go home.  Oh by the way who's harpoon is this?" Fasci asked out loud and raising  it so people could see.  Knittens perked up a bit while he heard ice cream and calmed his  crying down.  "Before I forget... Knittens why did you lie about volunteering?"  Oh shit.

ZAKUTAKU:  Swimming back to the boat,  Pack got aboard, uniform soaked alongside  the BF. Thank fuck he got the metal BF instead of the wooden one.  Shaking off whatever water was on him, Pack took a look behind him to  see- HOLY SHIT, IT WAS FUCKING DEAD. HE ACTUALLY KILLED ONE OF THEM??  For the first time in a while, Pack was actually surprised like. Holy  shit. He actually did something important.  "I... I killed it...??" He  said, shocked that he managed to get the finishing blow on the deep  fucker. "Wow I.... WOW. Three cheers for us, eh?"

GAMER-GODDESS:  Finally re-submerging, Thigh High's head popped up on the side of the  boat opposite to all the action, "HEY, DID WE WIN OR WHAT!?" She  called as she swam back to the boat for the second time today.

GAMER-GODDESS:  *re-emerging

K-RO:  Leather Jacket took the harpoon from Fascinator and began cleaning any  ghost slime off it, "Ese sera mio, gracias."

 Shades went to Pack, trying to pick him up in celebration but holy  shit this kid was too heavy for him. He patted his head regardless,  "I'm so proud of you!"

ZAKUTAKU:  Hearing Thigh-High's voice, Pack went over to the direction the angel  was heading and handed out BF as a support she could grab onto.

ZAKUTAKU:  "Yeah, we did, surprisingly!" Pack answered the angel's question,  helping her aboard. "I... made it explode?" Cool in both theory and in  practice, Pack was honestly surprised

ZAKUTAKU:  Granted, the beastie was weakened from the efforts of the other  angels, but hey, finishing blow bragging rights! Freaking out a bit at  the attempted pick up, Pack accepted said pat to the head  as Shady  congratulated him. "Eh, piece of piss. Granted, I probably would've  been dead if you guys didn't soften him up, but still! Another victory  for the good guys, yeah?" He said with a small, yet genuine smile ,  which is considered a rare thing to see if  one knew Pack. Congrats,  Shady. You witnessed history today.

GAMER-GODDESS:  "You know ghosts, they always have to go out in a blaze of glory." She  smirked as she planted her feet back on the boat. " Congrats on  killing it, dude!" Thigh High exclaimed as she slapped Pack's back.  "Are we done here? Though, this smell is still just as bad, if not  worse than before!"

OFFICERCOFFINCAT:  "Congrats Pack! " Was that a smile? Ew fox stop that you have no soul  that's not what mean girls do. She rings out her hair and her skirt ,"  ugh I need a shower and an orgasm after this " Fox stretched and  yawned.

ZAKUTAKU:  Hey, congratulatory praises. It's... been a good while since he heard  stuff like that. Work sucks most of that joy away due to asshole  fuckwad idiot customers and a work crew about as useful as  crowdfunding the third Reich, but hey, Pack was happy. Cute people  were congratulating him and he soaked in that positivity.

[hannahlizmellino-blog]

The Flight

9June 27

Well, this morning started off nice. We didn’t have to leave for the airport until eleven, because our flight was leaving at 1:45. We got to the airport, and I had to check in my luggage. I had set aside money for bags, but I didn’t realize that if I just took out two pounds, I could save $100. So at the last second, Mom and Dad helped me go through my luggage and find something that was two pounds. Turns out, if I just placed a pack of granola bars in Vicki’s backpack (mine was full) and took out a pair of sneakers, I would be all good!! So throw out the shoes we did, and I was off!

FLYING TIP: never have wet hair when going through security. The next problem I encountered was, since my hair was wet, it made my shirt damp, and that set the alarms off when going through the security screening. It only took a couple moments to figure out the problem, though, and off we went to our gate!

TRAVEL TIP: Always bring a pack of granola bars in case anything happens on the trip. You never know what you may need them for. 

The next problem was this: our flight was delayed for an hour and a half, and they had not decided where our gate was yet. Vicki and I, at this point, were hungry, so we headed over to the BIGGBY bar for food.  I grabbed a chef salad, and Vicki grabbed a sandwich. It seemed like such a peaceful moment, in a quiet bar with our food, when curveball number four hit. As I dug into my salad, lifting a heavy pile of lettuce, egg, cheese, and buttermilk dressing with my plastic fork, I realized, much to my dismay, that the bottom of the salad was all black and slimy. “Well that figures,” I said as I wincingly scraped the bad lettuce away. See, I had gone against all my instincts getting that salad. Somehow, I knew that an airport would NOT have a good fresh salad, but I was starving, and it looked better than the stale bagels. Luckily, I had bought a Snickers bar, and I ate that. I couldn’t wait to get on my flight though; I was so tired and just wanted to sleep for five hours. I had slept fine the night before, but my awesome family had been visiting from Delaware for the past week, and it was a straight party until they left Sunday night. So, I was still in recovery mode. I just hoped this flight came soon, and I could sleep for a little!!

UPDATE: No sleep as of yet. 2:52 in the afternoon, headed to Detroit. Landing anytime now. Watching the glorious mounds of clouds, as I enjoy Dean Martin and listen to the guys behind me talk much too loudly about sports.

UPDATE No. 2: The Detroit airport is amazing!!! Vicki and I found our way to our gate for our next flight to Amsterdam, and then we saw these trams that were going through tunnels above our heads.  I was just freaking out. THEY WERE SO COOL!! It looked like a sophisticated version of a Disneyland ride.

We finally got on our plane, and I sat next to this lady who was on her way back home to Sweden. Apparently, she had fallen in love in the United States, studying there as a student, and now, twenty years later, that is where she still lives. “DO NOT fall in love,” she warned me, when she heard I was studying in Florence for a month. I could make no promises, because if the men were anything like the the Italian ones I’ve seen on Pinterest....wow. That’d be a tough one. ((UPDATE: yeah. They’re just like the ones on Pinterest.))

On the eight hour flight, I watched 2.5 movies and slept for maybe an hour. An eight hour flight. It was miserable, I have to say that I was so excited, I couldn’t sleep, and that, in the end, was my downfall. A little into the flight, I was really shocked, too, when the stewardess came forward holding a small box in her hand. Wearing gloves, she leaned over to me, and, with tweezers, she handed me a little, hot wipe. I looked around trying to figure out what the heck this was. Apparently, you wipe your hands with it, as dinner was about to be served. I felt like such a dumb American not knowing that.....

For dinner, we had the choice of shrimp salad, eggplant lasagna, and chicken. I went with shrimp. I was a little disgusted when I opened up my little plastic container to see the salad, because a strong fish smell just whacked me in the face. It’s food, though, and it had to be good, because I was starving. Sinking my teeth into the super -salty goodness of that shrimp, was definitely amazing. However, the rest of the paper- thin, sliced bed of veggies that the shrimp had been resting on was atrocious. The zucchini, radishes, carrots, and I’m not sure what else, were good, but the only dressing was the salty liquid from the shrimp, and that really did not help my slight nausea that was forming from the abundance of turbulence and fish smell. If there had been dressing, it would have been a whole lot better. The meal also came with a little Tupperware containing lemon, sprouts, olives, and this tiny rice….stuff. I also had two crackers and a slice of cheese. It was a decent meal, I have to say. But what followed is now engrained in my memory for life. The whole plane was served a great meal, and after eating it, they all needed to run to the three bathrooms available on the plane. Imagine about 100 people using three bathrooms. Now, place Vicki and I in that image just two seats away, behind the bathroom. Have you ever needed to use an outhouse at a fair or an outside summer event that about a million other people have used on a 98 degree steamy, sweaty day? IT SMELLS HORRIBLE. And we had to have that and the fish smell for the next seven hours. It was hell.

Now, for the breakfast meal. I need to tell you that whoever designed that deserves a round of applause and a cake, maybe even a medal. On such a long, nauseous, horrible- smelling hell of seven hours, the last thing you want is more food on that airplane. Because if you have another meal, one more time, the train of people to the bathrooms starts all over again. But, when I saw the breakfast boxes, my face just lit up. A bright and colorful, striped box was handed to each of us with a little, adorable carton of orange juice. It had bright letters across the top that said something cute, but I can’t remember what it was. There is something about the joy of travel! Inside there was a small yogurt, cheese, and fruit. It was so well designed and so cheerful, that it really did help end the flight on a good note.

Arriving in Amsterdam, Vicki and I were shocked by how beautiful it was. EVERYTHING in that airport contained an element of design. In the United States, things have purpose and are merely practical. If we have bathrooms, we need some sinks; throw them in. Oh, we need hooks in the bathroom stalls? Throw in a single one, or perhaps don’t even put up a hook. We need to save money on the bathroom stalls, so shorten up the panels on the stall, huh? In Amsterdam, however, the bathrooms have long doors to the floor to make a private room, AND they added iron rods to the side of the bathroom stall panels. It makes for a cool design, and your purse, cell phone, and coat can hang there as well. It was brilliant!! The sinks were long slabs of stone with sliced out channels for the water to travel. IT WAS DESIGNED. That whole airport was a perfect blend of user friendliness, functionality, and design. WELL DONE, AMSTERDAM.

In the customs area, we walked through AN ETERNITY of people waiting for their passports to be stamped, and I have to make this comment: you can pick out in a crowd who is European. Europeans, from what I noticed, have a very classy way of dressing that was entirely different from the sloppy, casual, over-sexy, or super- practical wear of the Americans. The Europeans were more dressed up and added elegance to all of their looks. There were so many patterns in their clothing!!! And the details!!! And the shoes!!! Everyone’s shoes here are brilliant. I thought I had brought cool shoes, but they were nothing like the shoes here that even old grandmothers wear. With bright colors or interesting textures, paired with an elegant one-of-a-kind style, the shoes are impeccable here.

Getting on the plane to Italy, Vicki and I laughed, as we saw among the mostly American passengers, there were a couple of nuns/sisters!! We were definitely headed to Italia. Getting onto the plane was fascinating, too, as we walked down a long, glass hallway, down some steps to the outside, and stood on the cement ground of the airport tarmac as we were escorted onto a ladder of stairs into our plane. It was so fun!! Flying into Florence, Vicki and I were awed by the gorgeous landscape of hills covered in vineyards, pointy green trees, and beautiful little villas. On the plane, the Italian mother in front of us was letting her teenage daughter help clean up her makeup and re-clip her hair into place , fondly thanking her daughter afterwards in Italian. It was just such a sweet picture.

GETTING OFF at the Italian airport was confusing, as all of us were herded onto busses as we got off the plane. Everyone was asking why and where we were going, but apparently no one spoke Italian. Oddly enough, we were driven just a few feet, and then we were told to get out and head into the airport. The Americans all laughed at this, asking why we couldn’t have just walked. I still don’t understand what the point of that was.  

Sarah, who rented us her apartment for the first week, met us at the airport and drove us to our apartment. We really did get our first look at Italian driving through her.

It seems like there are hardly any rules to the driving there, other than not going the wrong way on one- way streets and not hitting the other cars. I have to say, that I think all Italians must have extra mitichlorians, aka have Jedi reflexes, because it really does take talent to drive like them. New Yorkers might have the same talent, but I’m not sure. Italian streets are confusing, as they are pretty much all super-narrow, one -way streets, and you can even park in the middle of some. Also, where are the stop signs??Where are the crosswalks?? It is a very confusing system to me.

Back at the apartment, Vicki and I collapsed on the bed. We were both exhausted and now car sick. We wanted water, and luckily we found some inside the fridge kept in an empty wine bottle. Apparently, people here get their water from fountains and keep it cool in empty wine or other glass bottles. I thought it was enchanting until we ran out, and we then needed to get more water, which was an eight minute walk.

Neither Vicki nor I wanted to eat that night, because we were both feeling so nauseous and overwhelmed. We had a huge dose of culture shock. Also, a problem we hadn’t thought about, was that we had no food in the apartment, besides some fruit that Sarah had kindly left for us. We didn’t even know where the grocery stores or restaurants were. Both of us were too exhausted and nauseous to eat anyway, though. The next morning, Vicki and I were still nauseous and did NOT want to do anything, we felt so miserable.  

The rest of this is a little depressing, as Vicki and I were met with pretty much all glares and stares by the community around us, as we were American tourists in a suburb that wanted nothing to do with tourists. We were invading their space, apparently. Also: no one spoke English. It wasn’t until almost a week later, when I actually got my bearings, that I finally saw the real center of Florence. After that, we were much happier people.

I have learned a lot from this experience, though. My advice to you: if you are planning to go to Europe, and it is your first time, GO WITH A GROUP OR A TRUSTED GUIDE. Vicki and I did everything the hard way, trying to figure out everything on our own, and it was a very frustrating experience. In the end, we learned from it and grew quite a bit in our confidence. We had never traveled out of the country or even to another state on our own, unless we had family or friends on the other side. If we had been seasoned travelers, things, of course, would have gone very differently. I feel like a different person, though, after all I have done in just two weeks, and I feel only the better for it. The difficulties could have been avoided, but I believe everything happens for a reason; I know that those difficulties were placed there for a purpose, which was to help me grow as a person and build up my character, and I am thankful for them. And truly, I am a much happier and more confident person because of those experiences. What will I be like three weeks from now, I wonder???

[atticusblog2016-blog]

New Post has been published on Atticusblog

New Post has been published on https://atticusblog.com/tech-troubles-unintended-consequences-of-gadgets/

Tech Troubles: Unintended Consequences of Gadgets

GRAND JUNCTION, Colo. – With almost all and sundry, ninety-five% in line with the Pew Research Center, proudly owning mobile phones, the generation is seemingly right here to live.

With almost everybody’s hand packed with a cell telephone, a few experts are warning of the unintentional outcomes, which include listening to one’s surroundings.

“Distracted Driving, checking your mobile phone, it’s going to be a hassle.” said John Marshall, Colorado Mesa University Vice President of Student Services, “But the opposite half of the communication is pedestrians.

A document from CBS News, with facts from the Governors Highway Safety association, pedestrian deaths are the better than at any factor in extra than two a long time at near 6,000 in 2016.

The price of the boom is also appreciably higher; from a term of 2010-2015, pedestrian fatalities rose 25% as opposed to the total variety of fatalities rising 6%.

CMU has constructed any go walks across its campus, considerably on 12th Street, with buttons for avenue crosses and lighting fixtures to alert automobiles, and on Orchard Avenue, wherein simply an island on the median is supplied for pedestrians.

Tech Gadgets That Should Be Wireless Other Than the iPhone 7

With the wireless revolution in mind, right here are some of the tech gadgets that also deserve a wireless remedy, not just for the sake of making your iPhone 7 experience extra streamlined, however to in addition strengthen the wireless revel in schedule and ultimately cross all out wi-fi in all of the devices that we probably could for our convenience.

Wireless Charging of Laptops and PCs

If its smaller counterpart which is the smartphones are capable of doing it, how a great deal greater can the laptops and laptop computer systems? Standard computer systems have a size that tech innovation may want to without difficulty take advantage of. So, there is certainly no reason why it shouldn’t happen sometime soon.

Apparently, a tech corporation, in the end, paid interest to that lengthy-past due technological development and has taken the first step in making wireless charging for desktop computers and laptops to manifest. A budding tech corporation named WiTricity is going to release its wireless charging era starting off with Dell laptops. Basically, Dell laptops commenced this tech revolution in computer charging, but, it did not benefit as tons media mileage as the iPhone 7’s airports or the wireless charging capability of the modern-day smartphones. The wi-fi charging for laptops is in a form of a charging matt so that you can handiest transmit the battery’s charge if the laptop in located on it. Pretty just like the wireless charging feature of smartphones.

What would be truly floor breaking though is if they make the wireless charging functional even at a distance, just like how the Bluetooth audio system and headsets work.

Wireless External Hard Disk Drives

External tough disk drives have been one of the arsenals to combat inadequate storage area in your laptops or desktops. Most specifically to folks who run around with Macbooks or Ultrabooks which handiest consists of a restricted quantity of garage area, now not sufficient to bring a whole movie collection with you. Though outside hard drives have remedied most of our garage area struggles successfully, what higher manner to make the revel in lots better than to have it finished wirelessly.

My Passport Wireless is a next step in the evolution of the outside tough drives that we use these days. From the call itself, it could sync, transfer, and have your PC read files from it with no strings attached – actually. This kingdom of the artwork outside hard drives makes use of the contemporary wi-fi technological mediums that are referred to as the Wireless N and MIMO generation.

Wireless HDMI

Watching a movie from a smartphone or a laptop has already incorporated wi-fi generation into the experience for pretty a while now. With that in mind, it’s approximate time that we also get our fingers on a Wireless HDMI. This is basically the replacement of the HDMI twine that we commonly use today for our DVRs, Blue Ray players, or gaming console. This era comes in a form of an adapter, which you can virtually plug into the HDMI port of the tool wherein you want to have your show projected. That adapter will then transmit a sign to successful wi-fi gadgets inclusive of your smartphone, DVR, PC, and the likes. Simply sync with it and you are properly to go.

The Law of Unintended Consequences – Moralizing

Don’t judge me, but

A lot of guys moralize.

(Hey! It rhymes! So it must be real.)

Some men are into sports fishing. Others insist that you behave consistently with their rules. Usually without explaining why.

It’s all peer strain and no substance.

They’re telling you what to assume and a way to act. Is it to your advantage or theirs?

Does moralizing work? Sure.

And in case you had a goldfish brain, you would hold to pretty much something that constantly worked for 30 seconds, right?

Here’s the horrifying thing… Ah, we will come to it quickly sufficient.

Now in case you’ve observed me very long, you will word I don’t cast judgment very regularly, although it actually “works.”

Especially on the internet. Outrage drums up web page-views and ad banner sales.

Obviously we humans are drawn to individuals who are absolutely confident and positive of themselves. It rarely topics whether they’re proper or incorrect. Right?

Well… Is it proper?

Oh. Now ya ask.

No. It’s not. It’s WRONG!!

And you cannot do it and do not allow me to trap you letting all of us else getting away with it, both. Or else there may be CONSEQUENCES.

Big Boys’ Toys – Why Men Love Gadgets

From sports cars to spy cameras, power tools to wireless power gadgets–guys love technology. Most men have at least one high-tech obsession. It could be the latest gas grilling equipment, a cutting edge fly rod, the newest graphite golf clubs, computers, electronics–the list goes on and on. It’s obvious that guys love gadgets–but why? Here are just a few possible reasons.

The “Wow” factor

Let’s face it: a shiny new techno-toy is cool. From the latest plasma screen TV’s too slender, stylish mobile phones, a beautifully designed machine is sure to catch a guy’s attention. Many gadgets are designed to maximize the coolness appeal: electronic card shufflers for the card shark in your family; sleek Mp3 players and mobile phones that look good out on the town; computer speakers that look like contemporary sculpture. The “wow” factor is elusive, and it’s usually a combination of style and function.

It’s all about status. Cutting edge technology is a status symbol. And even those of us who insist we don’t care about such things get a secret thrill from owning the latest and greatest. Those gadgets cost money, and they send a signal that the owner has it to spare. They also give the impression that the owner is educated, trendy, and plugged-in. Most social species have ways to determine status among their members, and human beings are one of the most complex social species in the world. Techno-gadgets are just one-way guys can display their status among their peers.

They make guys feel like kids again

Most guys start their love affair with gadgets at an early age. Little boys love remote control cars, video games, kid-sized tools, and more. A new gadget can make a guy feel like a kid again. Playing with high-tech toys is something that never changes. It’s engrossing, fascinating, and fun–just like it was when he was a kid. Most guys get just as excited now when they’re given a gadget for Christmas as they did when they were much younger. No wonder gadget gifts are a quick and easy way to a man’s heart.

Believe it or not–they’re practical. Gadgets let you do things you couldn’t do otherwise. A cutting-edge laptop can let you do everything from recording your own music to building your own e-commerce business. A feature-packed cell phone lets you check your email, play your favorite music, and even download a movie or television series in addition to keeping in touch with your friends. A well-made power tool lets you build anything from furniture to sailboats to motorcycles from the ground up. Guys love gadgets because they don’t just make our lives easier–they make impossible achievements commonplace.

Entertainment value

Technology doesn’t just improve our lives–it also makes things more fun. Entertainment technology has come far in the past decades, from early radio and television to cutting-edge plasma screens, video games with astonishing graphics, and more. No matter what you like to do for entertainment, technology takes fun to a whole new level. And it’s everywhere in our culture–almost everybody has a television, a radio, a CD collection, a computer, and many other gadgets. Today, even our most simple and familiar toys have been given a technological overhaul: dolls walk and talk; teddy bears play songs and tell stories, and toy cars have remote controls.