#me when im always agender but my alignment changes

[sanguinaryrot]

gender can be so confusing :/

[consider-your-potatoes-mashed]

Felt like I might as well make an intro post to pin on my page so here goes…

Heyo! I’m Lia and I am a 20 year old disabled college student studying marine biology!

So some stuff about me:

- I swear A LOT so please keep that in mind it’s a big part of how I speak. I will do my best be respectful on other people’s blogs and posts when they request I not swear/curse but this is my blog and as such I will speak how I wish

- If I do ever say something offensive please please please let me know and I will adjust accordingly l want to learn and do better

- I am a saphic/lesbian/queer nonbinary/agender person (I have a wonderful girlfriend whom I love very much (they use they/them pronouns))

- I use any pronouns though people typically use she/they pronouns for me based on how I present though I do kinda want to try out ‘e/‘im/‘is pronouns as those resonate with me

- I am a mobility aid user (cane and forearm crutches)

- I am physically disabled and deal with a lot of chronic pain and hypermobility as well as POTS

- I am also autistic (relatively low support needs)

- I have a lot of special interests which I’ll list below

- I’m a massive nerd and bookworm

- I consider myself a bit of a maker (I like to recreate movie props for display and cosplay) and everything I’ve made I’ve made completely by hand (no 3D printing) out of cardboard and EVA foam and hot glue/superglue

- I am super open about a lot of things so you can ask me anything you want and of course if I don’t want to answer it I won’t and this section is always subject to change based on evolving boundaries and what not so if something ends up making me uncomfortable I will probably update this to ask that I not be asked about that

- I talk a lot about my struggles as a disabled person and a lot about accessibility but I am also very new to accepting that I am disabled so again if I misspeak or anything please correct me

The special interests I can think of right now are

- marine biology

- biology in general

- the ocean in general

- corals and jellyfish (Cnidarians)

- scuba diving and snorkeling

- stuffed animals

- books (especially fantasy and dystopian and science fiction)

- comics and graphic novels

- cartoons (specifically Scooby-Doo and Phineas and Ferb)

- TV (mythbusters and dirty jobs being the longest running ones)

- disability rights and accessibility (relatively new)

- marvel and dc movies

- recreating movie props

- Scooby-Doo again cause I feel like I need to emphasize that

- Access, equity, and equality in education

- weird facts about anything and everything (I know a little bit about a shit load of things)

- Punk music and culture (I don’t really “look” punk (to me though there isn’t really one way to look punk) but I definitely feel very aligned with it)

- D&D

Many of these interests I’ve had since I was a young child but some of my former interests include:

- construction (specifically construction equipment)

- physics (this one has been lost due to my disdain for physics classes I still find it interesting but geez I am bad at physics omg)

- Chemistry (I still like it I’m just not obsessed with it anymore)

- Baseball (I still love the sport and watch it when I can but again it’s not an active special interest)

[wolfgangism]

hello!! im kavi, he/they, 19, and im in the est timezone. i’m usually in class or in the lab during the day but i’ll be here in the night and i’m always accessible on discord! this is my kiddo, wolf. if you wanna plot just smash that like button and i’ll IM you here ( but i prefer discord ( so if you wanna shoot me a message instead, my username is greedling#3129 )) . ok lets get into this but before i start rambling: TRANS RIGHTS !!

APPLICATION

∽∕  [ JEON JEONGGUK, AGENDER, THEY/THEM ] hey! you must be that [ TWENTY-TWO ] year old player people were talking about! they kept saying your name is [ WOLFGANG JAEGAL ], but that you go by [ WOLF ], and that you’re a [ INTRIM ] and from [ LOS ANGELES ]. oh! and also that you’ve been working as a [ HORROR WRITER ] while you’re in here. I really hope it’s true, ‘cus i’ve also heard that you’re [ IMAGINATIVE ] & [ COURAGEOUS ], but i’m not going to lie that some say you’re [ UNORGANIZED ] & [ IRRESPONSIBLE ]. wait a second…now that I think about it, you kind of remind me of [ BLINKING NEON LIGHTS, FRUSTRATED TYPING, AND HEARTBEATS QUICKENING AT A JUMP SCARE ], which is pretty cool! see you around then!  ∕∽

TRIGGER WARNINGS: DISCUSSION OF TRANSITIONING, MENTIONS OF CHEATING, DRUG USE

STATISTICS

► basics;

birth name (f, l): daeun jaegal legal name (f, l): wolfgang jaegal age: 22 birthday: may 16 gender: agender (afab) sexual orientation: pan occupation: horror author main realm: they don’t really have a main one, they go everywhere. ► background;

place of birth: canada current residence: los angeles, california education: bachelor’s in creative writing ► physical;

faceclaim: jeon jeongguk eye color: dark brown-black  hair color & style: dark brown, that long-ish haire that jjk has rn.. yea height: 5���9 weight: 153 lb tattoos, birthmarks, scars, etc: scars on chest where they had top surgery. in game: everything is the same except they have ‘typical’ cismale anatomy. they are interested in modifications but haven’t really found anything that interests them yet.

► personality;

positive traits: imaginative, courageous, adventurous, persuasive,  negative traits: reckless, unorganized, irresponsible, stubborn alignment: chaotic good more: wolf is not one to feel regretful. they live in the moment and stand by every statement and action they make. act first, think later. willing to try anything once. will never back down from a challenge. pits themself against their own mortality. facade of being fearless. high spirited mischief maker. 

► misc;

hobbies: gaming, watching/reading horror movies favorite book: if asked directly, they would say their own first published novel, but really it’s carmilla by joseph sheridan le fanu favorite music genre: wolf is the type of person to listen to game and movie soundtracks pets: can barely take care of themself, you think they’re going to have a pet?

BIOGRAPHY

wolf was born daeun jaegal. their biological mother wasn’t prepared for children, not when she had college to finish and when her boyfriend (& wolf’s biological father) was flaky at best. she gave wolf up to her older cousin who couldn’t have biological children of her own. she took wolf in with welcoming arms and raised them as her own child. wolf grew up calling her mom and her husband dad. their biological mother visited often, and eventually told them the story.

when wolf reached the age of five, they began to feel very uncomfortable with themself. when they told this to their mom, she took it seriously and they began to discuss what was going on. around this time, she started referring to them with they/them pronouns and noticed that they were a lot happier in general.

for financial reasons, wolf was unable to go under puberty blockers. instead, when they reached 12, they went with their parents to get their first name legally changed. due to their recent fascination with classical music and wolves.... they decided on the name wolfgang. their mom only agreed to it because they would be able to shorten it to wolf (which they do. the only place their full name appears is on the cover of their books. theyre sort of embarrassed by it but much too lazy to actually go and get it changed again or to even come up with another name).

at 16, their parents surprised them with testosterone. they actually cried. 

at 18, their first boyfriend (who was filthy rich) surprised them with the money that wolf needed to get top surgery. they cried equally as much this time, if not more. 

while all this was happening, at fifteen, wolf actually began on the first draft of their first book. it was really really rough but it was a start. they had an interest in horror since they were a kid. before they started the draft, writing had been one of their only outlets in life. they’d tried singing and music but unfortunately, they were tone deaf and couldnt hold a note for their life. poetry and songwriting wasnt their calling either. what they excelled at, however, was scaring his classmates to death with their short stories.

their first book was published when they were nineteen. it got very popular very quickly and is currently being produced into a movie.

their second book was published just last year right before graduating college and was just as popular as the first. they actually had little to no inspiration for this one. they took lsd a few times at parties, which helped them come up with some ideas. they havent told anyone and they intend it to stay that way.

right after that, they ended the relationship with their boyfriend since highschool (the same one who got them top surgery). their relationship for the past few years had been on/off at best due to wolf suspecting him of cheating, which he was doing. the break up was messy and ended with wolfgang crying for the third time in their life. 

they were thrown into a pretty bad depression, and tried writing again but it was fruitless. nothing they were writing was clicking and people had high expectations that they were afraid they couldnt meet. this also influenced their dysphoria. drug use and drinking increased, and mixing with testosterone was not good at all. they ended up in the hospital after a particularly bad night.

they refused any and all treatment.

wolf decided to use utopia as an escape from life and a way to enjoy themself without worrying about real life. they are also using it to gather inspiration for a new book because they are nothing without their writing. their mom is taking care of their real body.

that’s really all i have. i can’t think of anything else but im surely missing something that i’ll add at a later point. i’ll upload a connections page later. if you made it this far then congrats! heres a gif of them thinking very hard.

[flamewyrmz]

a late night rant from twitter im putting in one place, because its a trainwreck of several threads there. mostly copy/paste and still not proofread, but a collection of thoughts on gender, sexuality, personal identity, and love and support within the lgbtq community. i do really lay myself bare here so id like to ask that if you disagree or have criticism you do so respectfully and with that in mind, thank you <3 and if this means something to you itd mean the world to me if you shared it

dunno if ive said this here before but like. if you think you might be bi/pan but youre on the fence cos maybe youve never had a crush on a nonfictional guy or get more crushes on guys than on girls and you find yourself tied up in knots like "well im gay but im also attracted to nonbinary people unless theyre mostly woman-aligned but i dont wanna say im bi/pan because then people will think i like girls and like i like them theoretically but--" let go. just say fuck it! im bi/pan! 

try it out and if it doesnt feel right it doesnt feel right and thats fine and in the end no matter what youll have learned a little about yourself. this is actually my advice on any gender/sexuality dilemmas you might be having. go wild. try it out. see how it feels. dont feel like you have to confine yourself to something just because youve stuck with it for some amount of time. 

if youre questioning dive right into the deep end! no matter how it goes youll be a better swimmer in the end. its all not quite rigid and a little fluid anyways (for some more than others obv) so if youre unsure, man... go for it. its ok to backpedal

--

this is important advice to me because ive struggled with it multiple times in the past and this has only recently clicked and i really wish it had sooner. first it was with being... not straight in general. like i was actively dating someone of the same gender and i never considered that that meant, uh, im not straight. always "do you like boys or girl?" "uhhhhhhhhh. uh. UH" 

then with being in the range of aro/ace spect. then with being nonbinary! then with being nb but primarily male. and then goddammit im just a boy. accepting that God I Love Men And Only Men (and with it that i *wasnt* aro or ace in ANY capacity) and then, very recently (like up until a couple months ago. like im p sure this year. not 2017), going back on that and admitting i was bi. it is so so freeing to just say "fuck it" and test those waters!

hell, you find something you resonate with but looks a little silly? go for it! use those bun/buns/bunself pronouns. go with stargender! ace-flux demibiromantic? hell yeah rock that shit! it can always change and you can always decide its not right and go back! h4y dudes

--

all of that especially goes for teens who dont know what the fuck theyre doing. im only 20 yea and barely 20 at that but man i wish id heard this sooner

and please dont take that as me saying "well if youre a lesbian sexuality is fluid and maybe youre actually bi"! hell no. if youre a lesbian and you KNOW youre and lesbian and couldnt ever be anything else then rock on you funky little lesbian! but if you id as a lesbian but are teetering on something like "well im attracted to some fictional and theoretical men but not any real ones and maybe its just compulsory heterosexuality but im not sure and--" dont be afraid to try a different label. its all what feels right to you and theres absolutely no harm

--

people bash on like. """mogai genders""" and nounself pronouns and the split attraction model and all that and like. yeah! those things can hurt people! personally i struggled with the split attraction bit combined with how broadly people define the ace spectrum. it can be used to hurt. and it is used to hurt. sometimes its deliberate, sometimes its not. but the hurt is there. but its not inherently good or bad. 

and yeah, some of it sounds silly. hell, it sounds silly to me sometimes! but to some people hearing that label makes everything click into place, even if just for a little bit, and i take that very seriously. it is one of the best feelings in the world and i want as many lgbtq people (of any age) to experience it. 

for some people it feels right to zoom waaaaaaay in and section it into lots of little bits and for others its "fuck it! i dont know shit! im just queer!" and those are both equally valid (that words been thru 12 garbage disposals but i cant think of a better one) maybe you go back n forth and thats fine too! as long as youre open to it changing or being wrong it cant hurt and, like i said, its one of the best possible feelings to have it click like that

--

as an aside: being bi can *totally* mean "im attracted to men and nonbinary people are long are they arent primarily woman-aligned" or it can mean "im attracted to everyone fuck it" personally? i use bi over pan because i feel like it better encapsulates that i *do* have preferences (i say this all the time but God I Love Men) but ultimately gender doesnt really matter to me cos everyones cute and hot and generally attractive and im not leaving anyone out because im just a little more inclined to kissing boys. but thats me!

--

as Another aside: i do still to some degree identify with uhh this is gonna sound contradictory but agender boy? or more like boy agender? boygender with left none? i just dont personally feel like its worth taking the time to explain over n over. but it used to be, for me, n i dont regret that a single bit! i wouldnt regret that even if i *didnt* still feel that way in any capacity. honestly? 

i dont regret any of the ways ive identified in the past even though feeling stuck and cornered into some got a little harmful to me (and if youve gone through somethin similar and DO regret it and wish youd never heard whatever term you used thats good too. im very strongly advocating for "use whatever labels you want and if it dont fit it dont fit" here but if they did hurt you and youre still hurting about it i understand 100% just dont use it to pull others down. if it concerns you say your piece and let them decide)

--

this is personally a little hard to admit so bear with me here 

honestly? ANY sort of strong identity didnt start developing in me until i was.... 14 or so? and very slowly at that. like gender evened out around 18 and sexuality just a few months ago LMAO. but up until i was a teenager i didnt really feel much of anything re: gender or attraction (and the attraction thing is pretty normal for kids and even teens tbqh!) 

and i just.... didnt really think about it! i had This Name and apparently was a girl and i didnt really get what it was like to BE a girl but thats what people said and i didnt know there were other options so i went with it! the name didnt bother me either (except for when people made jokes about a Certain Historical Figure with the same one. just thinking about that i get tired) 

and when it came time to actually grapple with the whole concept of being *into* people i just kinda... slunk away! no joke until like 10th grade if someone started a rumor that i was dating x or y had a crush on me i would start to avoid them entirely. lost a friend in 4th grade that way but then in hs hed turned into a TOTAL DICK so no loss there. i think part of that was also people making the assumption that i was straight though? big shrug! 

i didnt even realize attraction was a thing i had until i got asked out and just kind of "oh wow??? that sounds so nice??? i feel the same??? yes??" and thats WHY i went thru varying aro/ace labels. cos it unfolded slowly (which again is totally normal if youre a teenager, so dont worry about it if youre going thru that. roll with the punches. and if youre a teen and youve got it figured out? thats totally normal too!) 

and the gender thing was similar once i learned that it was an actual possibility (especially being nb, and ESPECIALLY especially being agender) i slowly just... poked at it until i figured something out (fun fact: what set me off to finally go "fuck it im not a girl at all" was being stuck in an awful hair salon chair while my mom got a haircut that took FOREVERRRRRRRRR and i was having godawful period cramps. like i knew not being a girl wouldnt DO anything about them but i made that decision then n there n didnt look back!) 

and then i kept pokin at it and watching it like the seed id planted finally started to sprout and i realized i didnt actually know what kind of seed it WAS. i guess ive always been very nebulous in those aspects and its just now forming into something solid. like i said, its a little hard to admit and i... dont think ive actually talked about this in this depth before to, like, anyone? 

because the "oh ive always known" narrative is the only one you ever see in popular media and sometimes even from the community itself! and theres nothing wrong with having always known! but theres also nothing wrong with being like me! but i still feel a little anxious talking about it like it somehow means im a sham. 

hell, id even go so far as to say i WAS a girl as a kid! i WAS varying shades of agender and nonbinary and ???? as a teen, and i AM, like, 95% a guy right now! maybe in a few years ill be something else. none of those things contradict each other. things like that can change! its not set in stone (but like i said: for some people it is! or, like, set in slime that you left out for 5 years so now its pretty much a rock but if you really try it still squishes into something else?? none of these things invalidate the others! were all unique). 

i wouldnt say that at any point ive been cis or straight, cos even when i just went with being a girl and stuff it was always a little ??? but, yknow. even if i HAD been those things at some point it wouldnt matter to me? things just are the way they are and were the way they were

--

im making myself really vulnerable here and my thought process is a mess and i ramble and repeat myself and my memory and attention span is like 2 seconds and i dont proofread but. its important i think. i dont have a lot of followers and fewer still thatre active but... that really doesnt matter. 

maybe someone will retweet at least one of these messy, messy threads. maybe link it to a friend. maybe screenshot it and post it on tumblr [note: LMAO YEAH AND ITS YOU DUMBASS], or to keep for themself. if any of my words help anyone out even a little then it matters and honestly? then its the most important thing in the whole danged world. if even one person sees any of the things ive said tonight and it means *anything* to them, even if just "oh, im not alone in this" then ive succeeded here. 

i dont want any of us to ever feel trapped or alone because shit! lifes too fuckin short for that! its goddamn hard being anything but cisgender and straight! sometimes it sucks! like really sucks! there have been so many times ive broken down completely over being trans and felt like, for myself, its the most awful thing in the world. its why prides so important. its why community is so important. 

because even when the pressure of the world brings you down so low you think youll never escape theres something or someone there to take your hand and pull you back up, put you on your feet, and say "i know its hard. and itll get hard again. but i believe in you, and youre strong enough for this, and im here with you through every step". that goes for anyone but especially goes for us. and im not just talking about lgbtq youth here. all of us. which is *why* im laying myself completely bare here. 

most of this stuff? ive either never talked about or only vaguely mentioned. but im putting it out there. because there was a point where i needed it but didnt have it, and even if its just one person, i want to give someone this advice so at least they dont have to deal with the same stuff i did. and if youre reading this? i love you. im here for you. im my dms are always open and if for some reason they arent its almost definitely an accident and if you say something ill reopen them. 

and if youre someone who hates me? maybe even mutually? if it came down to it id let you come to me at your lowest moment, no questions asked, no judgement held, and at the end of it still be the same kind of enemies we were before and never speak again. there are some exceptions of course but honestly ill forgive a lot for someone who needs that kind of support. and if youre one of the people this applies to, i know youll probably never take me up on it. i dont expect you to. i dont expect you to even for a second be comfortable with that idea. thats fine. but if for some reason you ever need it, its there. 

i can count on one hand the ex friends that i wouldnt give that to and thats ONLY because theyve legitimately hurt me and left lasting damage (and for some of them? its mutual. and im sorry for that, regardless of how i feel about your treatment of me im truly sorry for my actions. that probably sounds fake and anyway i digress) 

and if youre a complete stranger? someone who follows me but has never interacted with anything ive posted? a mutual i havent spoken to yet? im here. and im bumbling, and awkward, and not the best at comfort but you can always come to me if you need someone. im only one man and im under a lot of stress but i swear ill do the best i can, even if its only reading and replying 3 days later and even then just listening and offer whatever gentle comfort or reassurance youll accept. 

because thats important to me. thats the impact i want to leave on this world. i dont ever want anyone to feel as small, as scared, as worthless, as alone as i have. im no fighter. im not going to lead any revolutions and hell im too anxious to even go to protests but im here for support. im here to help and heal. and thats important too

--

and if you listened to that? thank you. if you just skimmed? thank you for that too. if you shared it with someone? thank you (so much). and if you dont? thank you anyways, just for the time

just know this: i love you. i dont care who you are, if youre reading this i love you and im behind you 100%. im here if you need it. stay strong, do something that makes you smile if only for a moment. take that leap of faith. dont restrict yourself for even a second

i meant to go to bed at least two hours ago so goodnight <3 be safe, drink some water, if you have any kind of pet give it some love. take care of yourself. youre the most important person in your own world and never forget that, even if you dont think you are. even if theres something or someone you treasure above everything else. dont diminish your own worth! you are alive, and you are here, and theres nothing more important than that, really. the things you love matter more than anything else. hold them close

[gayerluke]

thing re: my own gender stuff that got annoyingly long & is of no actual significance to anyone including myself really lol

this is in no way important but i finally found a resolution re: the “am i butch?” issue, which is that im not. it just doesnt fit how i want/need to express myself & my gender. it’s not a culture i’m part of & not one i have claim to, & that’s totally fine. i believe strongly (for myself at least) that it’s not about feelings or just claiming the label bc you want to, it’s a specific & unique culture that not everyone is entitled to be a part of, & there ARE certain elements of style/behavior/etc that are intrinsic & necessary. (that’s just my onion though & you’re free to disagree if you want [but it’s not really something i’ll be swayed on so let’s not actually hash it out lol].) it’s more than wanting to be butch & deciding you are, it’s a role that you need to actively participate in. & you can totally become a part of that culture if you want to/do fulfill that role! but i dont & im not, & im cool with that. it’s also very much a working class culture historically, & im not working class, so it’s never going to be an experience i 100% relate to or even CAN experience.

agender is more where i fit & where i’ve always fit (i just dont mention it a lot bc ultimately it’s super immaterial when it comes to how im actually perceived/classed, & i also do align with women & not at all with men). i have no specific cultural style that i fit into, & tbh that’s important to me. my self expression is very much based on my own personal & individual history with gender, sexuality, femininity, masculinity, etc. & that’s how i like it & want & NEED it to be. it isn’t related to other ppl within butch culture & therefore that’s not my culture. it’s definitely not femme either, & that’s actually been another role i’ve tried to fit myself into in the past. i dont believe in the false & ahistorical dichotomy of having to be one or the other, but it had to do with being read as a lesbian by fellow lesbians etc. also um i have bpd so both of these things have been extremely influenced by the friends & ppl i hang/have hung around with (& also direct peer pressure from femme friends & culture telling me i had to be femme to be acceptable as a fat woman, but that’s another kettle of fish/source of trauma). my bff is butch & i love them so much & they’re so fuckin cool & i want to climb inside their skin & absorb them & also be cool!! but i can admire ppl & styles & cultures without claiming myself as a part of them lol.

so basically i am Kin with butches, but not actually there. also im not changing this url bc i want it to conjure the idea of a butch wookiee for you every time you see it & bring you as much joy & comfort as it does to me to imagine such a beautiful & wondrous thing.

(also for me being agender is more like being an atheist rather than a capital-a evangelical Atheist, in that it more represents ambivalence. i dont consider being called a woman or even being called a cis woman to be misgendering me. i dont want to ever be called a man, & would likely only call myself a non-woman in very very specific circumstances & conversations. the way gender plays into my life materially from a social/class standpoint is intrinsically tied into how i perceive myself, & it’s really important to me to acknowledge the privileges im afforded by that, as well as the oppressions. the only difference is that i feel alienated from ppl who, on a super personal internal level, know that they ARE women. calling myself a woman when i dont feel that tied to it is...... idk not “appropriative” but tbh transmisogynistic honestly? there are women who ARE women 100%, & i dont want to disrespect that identity or experience by claiming that i 100% relate to it, bc i dont. but also it just plain doesnt fit how i experience myself or my gender. im just like....... here, & i was placed here & im like. fine with that? but if i had been placed elsewhere i’d likely be fine with that too. what can i say, im lazygender. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ anyway this is very irrelevant to my actual lived material existence, & for me gender is like 90% a social thing that other people put on me & it determines everything about how im classed & perceived & privileged & what i experience etc. to me that takes precedence over whatever internal gender feelings i have. they’re like..... inseparable for me basically? again i have bpd so conceptualizing & defining myself with 100% certainly is basically impossible.)

WOW i sure wrote a lot about something of zero consequence!!

[ajaegerpilot]

tagged by @itsnobbie​

nicknames: misha is my nickname tho i will change it legally someday. ppl from all walks of life call me ‘meesh’ tho gender: agender but woman-aligned. pronouns are silly can’t i just exist as a vacuous haze. sigh. star sign: im the most pisces pisces ever and horoscopes arent even a real imo but its so true height: sigh...... 166 cm.... im not 211 cm like i deserve to be >:( time right now: 9:18 am last thing i googled: hikaru utada celebrate lyrics english (this is the song where she sings abt a sexy lady, i wanted to see if she was being gay or not. spoilers: she was) favourite bands: i’d recc skip the use, a french rock band! favourite solo artists: mapei always has the most loving songs song stuck in my head: lmao the hikaru utada song. but im also super into mitski’s ‘strawberry blond’ lately? and frank ocean’s ‘chanel’? OH. ALSO THIS SONG i think is very lovely. last movie i watched: ugh i honestly cant remember. probably moana in theatres tbh? either that or some gay shit on the internet. last tv show i watched: lmao literally some gay shit on the internet: that Eiffel tower historical drama. when did you create your blog: jfc. 5 years ago. what do you post: kind of in between fandoms atm. still helplessly devoted to LOK and DAI tho. when did your blog reach its peak: honestly my porn blog post :// rather, that was my lowest point do you have any other blogs: @kuvopal​ @februyuri​ @undercovercomic​ follow them theyre all dead do you get asks regularly: no and thank goodness i get a heart attack every time. IMs for good luck tho. why did you choose your url: bc pacific rim was full of potential and now its full of iggy azalea as the female lead instead of rinko...... im never gonna change this one tho im Too Established as ajaegerpilot. following: 525 posts: 73,249 hogwarts house: gryffindor with hufflepuff leanings because im a heckin normal person pokemon team: VALOR and all my friends are mystique and im still :// abt it. literally all of them. we all know instinct has the best ppl tho. favourite colours: i always wear red but my fav colour is blue. average hours of sleep: siggh too little but around 7 lately, 8 preferably lucky numbers: 6 favourite characters: opal beifong, vivienne de fer, and seiya kou are the tags of characters i check regularly even if they’re dead or hell. what are you wearing right now: a cool shirt where a tree’s riding a bicycle, blue plaid shirt, leggings how many blankets do you sleep with: 2. one for my whole body and 1 for my canadian footsies dream job: um?? im a chemist or biologist and i work in a beautiful place and have a hand to hold? also on the side have published graphic novels? GOALS. dream trip: i wanna go back to hawai’i i was so happy there but also tfw i wanna go back to hawai’i when the world isnt hell and white supremacy+colonialism has been completely dismantled and healed from :// got to fix canada first

ugh i hate tagging ppl bc only 3 of them ever acknowledge it after all the work i put in writing down everyone’s names. im tagging all my mutuals. im also tagging any follower who wants in.

[gaybluesargent]

Please provide me with every detail about these beautiful raven girls. i've got a notepad to fill with ink and nowhere to be in the morning...

this is very very late, so that morning has passed, but hopefully you still have some room in that notepad! just a note that all my raven girl headcanons are trans girl headcanons! & for the sake of my raven girls aus, aglionby is co-ed!(also, /tagged/all-your-favs-are-trans-girls!)

gansey:

generally Proficient at preforming femininity - looking and acting in ways everybody traditionally expects from a girl - but only really feels the need to be read as very Traditionally Feminine when she’s around her family

has very little physical dysphoria (she doesn’t rly want hormones or surgery) but her social dysphoria can get rly bad & lead to panic attacks if she doesn’t pass well enough in public

but with her friends, it’s not typically too bad!

i think she probably came out when she was like 14 or 15? she started transitioning when she was off traveling by herself!

so her family was kind of Shocked and gansey still. Has Trouble with that sometimes. but they’re not outright terrible about it. just. not rly Good either. 

she’s got shoulder-length hair in a clean-cut bob (that gets a little curly in humidity), but she puts it up into a ponytail or a hat as much as possible because she doesn’t like the way hair feels on her neck 

(it’s reminiscent of hornets)

post-trk she definitely chops her hair off and gets a rly cute pixie :’)

is Skilled at makeup and uses it to hide all the evidence of sleepless nights

paints her nails religiously because she finds the act of painting them very calming and likes the way it feels!

often paints them orange to match the camaro, even though helen tried to tell her that it looks a little juvenile to have bright orange nails

daily wardrobe (polo shirts, khaki pants, boat shoes) is virtually unchanged tbh… geek… i love her….

and for formal occasions, helen lets gansey borrow from her wardrobe if she wants!

(ps! more trans girl gansey content here!)

i looked all over for the post cuz i think i stole this idea from someone else so link me if u know it, but someday gansey marries blue and legally changes her name to Gansey Sargent :’)

ronan:

butch! trans! lesbian! ronan! niall! lynch!!

(she loves her full name because her parents gave it to her and she doesn’t plan on ever changing it)

came out when she was 15, and once niall was killed, she started physically and socially transitioning All At Once

still has her head shaved. im in love with her. 

has and will punch a bigot without hesitation

she has 100 earrings in each ear and wears lots of rings

paints her nails to pick it all off the next day

when gansey’s extra anxious, she paints ronan’s nails for her, and it’s Soft :’)

her wardrobe is 100% unchanged from canon - rich tired punk farmer - and she looks gr8

she generally can’t walk in heels at all but she’s got this one pair of heeled boots that make her absurdly tall and she Loves It!

makeup skills are limited to making her look as Pissed Off as possible (meaning middle-school emo raccoon eyeliner and black lipstick probably)

typically not super dysphoric unless verbally misgendered

& isn’t rly comfortable with how deep her voice is but also isn’t willing to try to talk higher because she thinks she sounds silly, so she stays quiet a lot around new people

dreams up some fuckin miracle hormones for everyone and it’s Wonderful!

adam:

came out & transitioned later than everybody else because she wouldn’t even Consider her gender while she was still living with her parents

tbh gender probably plays into the whole Feeling Unknowable even to herself thing

but all her friends are trans as heck so she’s got a rly solid support system to help her once she starts to figure it out!

is rly reluctant to publicly transition because she’s worried abt how it might affect her future - being a trans girl makes life so much harder than just staying a cis boy - but, over time, she starts to make peace with it and realizes that Being Herself is worth the risk!

she fiddles with gender rly subtly at first: not really changing the style of clothes she wears, but buying t-shirts from the girl’s section instead of the boy’s section… growing her bangs out but keeping the rest of her hair short… wearing lip gloss… 

and these little changes help her comfort immensely, and eventually lead to more obvious changes in presentation!

tbh she probably comes out as A Girl first and then realizes she’s actually maybe a demigirl/a nb girl/something like that because being feminine feels Way Better than being masculine, but being A Girl doesn’t feel totally right either

and ronan helps with this, both as a role model for Not Giving A Fuck and also as a butch girl who shows adam that gender and gender expression don’t have to always align perfectly!

every now and then, adam puts on a skirt, and everyone in a 5 mile radius falls in love because she looks Damn Good!

especially with knee socks? like! shit!!!

noah:

noah is a ghost! you think ghosts care about gender? nope! noah’s agender or genderfluid in every universe and thems the facts 🙏🏻

but when noah was alive… he had some Gender Stuff

like, nothing as concrete as actively identifying as something other than a boy, but i think he definitely dabbled in gender presentation as a “haha jokes isn’t it funny” but secretly and quietly because it Felt Right

like… he definitely stole adele’s skirts a few times and his friends were like “czerny r u gay!” and he’s like “haha” but it was definitely actually subtle Gender Feelings that he didn’t have the vocabulary to express

anyway! once he’s dead he has no body and his presentation as Ghost Illusion can change with his comfort

so some days, he manifests looking more femme, and his friends know when to switch up pronouns and make him feel better!

similarly, he can read everybody’s mind, so he always knows what to say and how to comfort his friends when they’re feeling down about anything, including gender stuff!

henry: 

stylizes her name to ‘henri’ to be a little more femme!

Fashion Icon! 

she’s inexplicably stylish. like. the outfits she puts together are Ridiculous and no one in their right mind would wear them and they look Amazing?

sometimes more femme, sometimes comfy being a little more butch, sometimes splicing styles completely! There Are No Rules!

also her Hair. legendary. she grows it out and does all kinds of things to it. she’s known for her elaborate braids. :’)

makeup took the longest to master but now she’s great at it and helps the rest of the girls do their makeup too cuz she’s easily the best at it!

absolutely unapologetic? henri “kiss my trans ass” cheng. henri “down with cis” cheng. 

once henri is fully integrated into the group and gets access to the Dream Hormones, she’s like “!!! idk why my mom is wasting time trading magical artifacts when we could just sell this shit! we’d be set for life and it’d be a great cause!!”

blue:

let’s make her a trans girl too cuz why not!

when maura was pregnant and they found out blue was a boy, calla and persephone were like ‘…sounds fake but okay’

so when blue gravitated toward femme stuff and insisted she was a girl from a young age, they were all like ‘ah that makes more sense!’

there wasn’t a lot of money around 300 fox way for hormones and stuff, but there’s lots of love to go around and they always make sure blue is supported and as comfortable as possible!

blue gets into sewing and making her own clothes during middle school, once puberty starts to wreak havoc on her ability to seamlessly shop in the girl’s department! 

this is a skill that she shares with the rest of the girls once she meets them – she helps them tailor and tweak all their clothes to fit more comfortably!!

she and henry become Fashion Buddies and they make outfits for each other all the time!

300 fox way is kind of a sanctuary for all the girls – surrounded by women who easily and immediately accept them as women too, surrounded by the magic they’re all so in love with… maura, calla, and persephone are their adoptive moms! they have sleepovers at blue’s all the time, individually when they’re having bad days and group sleepovers for fun!! 

[catbleps]

i was tagged by @saltylibra ! thank you so much for tagging me ❤️️ (i’m so behind on these ;;)

Rules: Answer the questions on a new post and then tag the followers you want to know better.

Name: charlie  Nickname: chaz Height: 5′4″ / 163cm Time Right Now: 2:27am Last Thing Googled: “henry summon guide fire emblem heroes” Favorite Music Artist: mmmm it changes a lot? right now i’m loving gen hoshino’s albums! Last Movie Watched: good question..i don’t watch a lot of movies so it’s been a while, but i’m seeing ygo in theatres saturday :^D Last TV Show Watched: live action tv; brooklyn 99. anime; shouwa genroku rakugo shinjuu What Are You Wearing?: leggings and my victuuri pair skate shirt ;3 When did you create your blog?: uhhh 5 ½ years ago What kind of stuff do you post?: mostly anime, podcasts/mcelroy products, and art Do you have any other blogs?: yea! i have an offical-ish art blog, aesthetic blog, and a nsfw blog i won’t link but u can ask me for the url off anon! Gender: agender Favorite Animal(s): dogs n cats ofc, but axolotls and snakes are pretty cool too Hogwarts House: i say hufflepuff but i always get gryff Pokemon Team: like what kind of gym leader type? probably fire or dark MBTI: infp Moral Alignment: chaotic good Cat or Dog Person: mmmMM yes Favorite Color: powder blue and peach! Average Hours of Sleep: 4-6 during the week and about 8-12 when im off Lucky Number: 8 Favorite Characters: oh no. edward elric, yuuri katsuki, kaito kuroba, clear, sakura kinomoto, makoto tachibana, genos, jake peralta, natsume takashi, akari mizunashi, henry (fea), gon&killua!!, yui, mob, the entire cast of gsnk…there are many more but i need to be stopped…i collect faves like people collect pokemon cards How many blankets do you sleep with?: 3! sheets+comforter+fluffy extra blanket How many pillows do you sleep with?: 3 also, but i just use the bottom 2 side by side  Dream Job: hopefully librarian or making money off my art! Current number of followers: more than i ever expected tbh (i love y’all) Why did I pick my URL?: kaito is cute when he blushes, and also he is a thief Dream Trip: rn it’s oregon just bc i may be moving there next year and i want a feel for it, but otherwise norway

and i’ll tag @jaja-han @dopingues @cactusfan69 @dont-touch-my-sons @moonflowerz @qxiu no pressure, just if u want to!

[merrysithmas]

The twitter post on nonbinary gender that you posted....ever since you started specifically posting about nonbinary gender, I've been wanting to ask you its meaning because I had never come across it. But I was scared and embarrassed to ask you cause i thought you'd get mad at me. Sometimes I want to educate myself but then you don't know who to talk to or ask about things. And also thank you because through your blog I am learning so much about gender.

oh thank you!!! thank you so much for sending this and asking. i am always here for questions and thank you for having an open heart and a kind soul. i know sometimes it can be intimidating to learn – and it shouldnt be. we live in a very divided world right now, and i wish people would be more receptive to questions and bridge building.

it is my personal philosophy there is a difference between anger and hate – anger can be channeled into action and example and good. hate makes you have a commonality with all the other evil sectors in this world and i refuse to be a part of it.

as for nonbinary gender – basically this is an umbrella term which means “is not male or female”. nonbinary people are included under the T or “trans” letter in LGBTQ because their assigned sex (AFAB, AMAB assigned female/male at birth) does not align with their gender. however, many nonbinary people do not consider themselves trans and consider themselves simply nonbinary. but many do consider themselves trans. it is up to personal choice.

there are several nonbinary genders: agender (feeling like one does not have a gender at all, genderless), genderfluid (fluid gender which switches to more female or male depending), genderqueer (a catchall term for many of these identities or some combined), nonbinary (feeling neither totally male or female, or feeling both, or feeling both but one more than the other, or feeling a new gender which is male/female combined), Two Spirit (a term specifically for use only for certain people from various indigenous societies/cultures which describes a lauded subset of people who have two genders or a conduit between genders), demigender (feeling partially male or female), etc. the list goes on.

i know a lot of people will scoff at this and think - “oh that isnt REAL” “there are only two genders”. well guess what? it is real. it has been my life for literally as long as i can remember back into childhood. it wasn’t until a few years ago i discovered the term for it, and it wasn’t until last week that i decided i want to use gender neutral pronouns. i remember one day when i was in highschool i asked myself “am i trans??” i remember being so scared i cried for a day and repressed it so hard. i have never aligned or fit in in that way. i remember telling my mom as a kid i wasn’t a boy or a girl. i remember always struggling so hard trying to decide who to be. i remember doing a google search as a kid and reading about Two Spirit people of various indigenous cultures and thinking — my god. it’s “me”. it was the first thing i ever saw that spoke to an understanding of my identity, and i felt such immense comfort i cant even describe it to you.

but now, after coming out to myself and the world i am literally the happiest with myself i have ever been in my entire life. i finally feel like i am not living inside myself, that when people meet me they know exactly who i am because im not hiding it anymore. my whole life i always had this little voice in my head saying “the person they think they are meeting/seeing isnt the whole you and they will never really know you, no one does”. i am “out” to my family and friends who matter and i am so proud of myself. im not afraid of being visible. in fact, i want to promote it.

im a future doctor and i can tell you with 100% certainty there is biological basis for separation of gender and sex. whether it it hormone levels, chromosomal activity, genome structure, brain chemistry, brain physiology and anatomy, or likely an infinitely complex amalgamation of all that and more. but one doesnt have to be a doctor to have credit in saying this: i can tell you, just as me, a nonbinary person - i am real. and i dont want to hide or suffocate anymore. society’s rules and binaries are truly blind. they leave out so, so many people. and we are at a revolution in our culture right now that i hope is going to change that exclusion forever. i hope people will see other people free and realize the strictures and rules they were brought up to live behind arent all that exists.

i always say it like this: if you are cisgender (a person whose gender matches their sex at birth) it is not your job to “understand” a trans or nonbinary person. because you literally cant. you can’t pass judgment on something you literally cannot experience. a cisgendered person’s brain is not built with the chemistry/function of someone who experiences a nonbinary life. there is nothing wrong with that. but the job of a cisgendered person is to say: “i will never understand what that feels like, but i will -believe- it is real because trans and nonbinary people have the dignity of personhood, they are PEOPLE, just like me, and if they tell me this is how their bodies work it must be how it is working inside of them.”

and one more thing - gender identity has nothing to do with gender presentation. which means, a nonbinary person who dresses femme, wears make up and has long hair is just as nonbinary as a masculine presenting nonbinary or androgynous nonbinary person. a cisgendered woman who wears tshirts and baseball hats because that is what makes her comfortable is still a woman. a cisgenderd man who wears makeup is still a man. a trans woman who wears suits is still a woman. a transman who likes makeup is still a man. your gender is in your head, your sex/genitals are in your pants, and your aesthetic preference is just how you hapoen to like to decorate your body.

sexual orientation is separate from all of this, and is simply who you are attracted to. a cisgendered woman can be attracted to women: lesbian, poly, pan, bi. a nonbinary person can be bi, pan, poly too. a transman can also be bi, gay, pan, asexual, etc. a cisgendered man can be hetero or gay.

dysphoria is psychological and physical discomfort with ones sex/genitals/body/body function because it does not align with one’s gender. some trans/nonbinary people experience and many dont! so for instance as a nonbinary person i sometimes get intense dysphoria over my chest (breasts) and menstruation. more often than not i deal with it, sometimes im even proud of it, i am proud of surviving as a female-bodied person in this misogynistic world! im proud of the perspective it gives me on humanity. but if i could get rid of them would i? most days, most likely! ive always wanted to get rid of my breasts, i legit hate them. but some days i can deal. i console myself by saying all genitals are homologous to each other - male and female gentials are essentially the reverse of one another and so the same. they dont dictate who you are. if a woman with cancer gets an oophrectomy does thay make her not a woman anymore? of course not! if a man has his testicles removed is he no longer a man? am i a woman because i have a vagina? nope! gender isn’t one’s body. as a nonbinary pansexual person my identity is pretty firmly in the grey area lol. i consider myself an attractive androgynous. i am proud of who i am and what i look like, even when im not totally content.

i hope some of this helps and i hope you will spread acceptance! sorry this got so long but i wanted to give a real answer. always feel free to ask anything else, weird or not weird, i promise i wont get offended. :)

[dek0pon]

on that pride month questionnaire: 1-5 11 17/18 20-24 28 30 its a lot sorry!

1. what is your sexuality?bi/pan, with a preference for boys/masc people

2.what do you identify as?nb/agender/gendervoid, usually i just say im nbor just queer

3. how long have you been aware of yr sexuality/identity?i wasn’t totally aware of the fact but i was pretty fuckin gay in middle school while i still thought i was cis, and although i couldn’t describe it i’ve had dysphoria since then as well but i’ve been actually aware for over 2.5 yrs of my both being not straight and not cis

4. do you have any preferences?like i said in 1, boys/masc ppl

5. share a positive memory abt coming outi came out to my friends abt 1 year 4 months ago by giving them notes saying i was trans and my pronouns (they/them) and i got a bunch of rlly nice texts that day in response that made me weep

17. whats yr biggest pet peeve when it comes to lgbt characterization in media?in terms of like News and stuff i fucking hate it when we’re treated like some weird new phenomenon that’s a complete oddity. they call us the gayest generation but its just because we’re less afraid of hiding it. fuck that, normalize queer.i don’t fuck with any negative characterization whatsoever, especially fetishization. absolutely fucking not.

18. whats your favorite parts of lgbt+ characterization in media?i don’t know if i really? have an answer to this? i just want positive representation of all not straight and not cis ppl, i appreciate it when i see representation but i always wish there was more

20. do you practice safe sex with the same sex?idk what same sex is supposed to mean for this since im nb , so im just gonna answer for whoeverim not sexually active with anyone but if i was i would

21. what’s an absolute turn off for you in a partner? (i changed it from same/opposite sex bc again im nb soo)for both this and 22 i really Don’t have anything pinned down because nobody wants to date me B) i wouldn’t fuck with anybody republican/pro trump/neonazi aligned or whatever i can tell you that much

22. what’s an absolute turn on for you in a partner?Actually being attracted to and wanting to date me B)

23. how do you feel about lgbt+ clubs/apps/websites?theres a gsa at my school but i’m not part of it partially bc i dont have time and also bc there are some people in it who i Don’t like, i feel like its good in the sense that you can know who might have your back esp at my school which is overflowing with fuckboys, i don’t rly have any plans to join it but i think its better to have it than to go without it apps nd websites are also good for outreach and support and just finding and knowing there are other people like you, unless used negatively then i wouldnt have anything bad to say about them

24. how do u feel abt the term “queer”?i use it all the time, i think its a güd umbrella for everyone not cis + not straight but it’s also not for everyone. i personally identify with it and have reclaimed it or whatever

28. whats the most annoying question you have ever gotten?what’s yr birth name

30. what is your romantic affiliation?i don’t really separate my romantic and sexual attraction bc im not aro/ace so again, bi/pan with a strong preference for boys/masc ppl

no problem my dude, thanks