#me: a lot of the shit i face for being bi and nb/trans is also shit i face for being ace

[frankenjoly]

lucy and/or sigma for the character ask game?

Lucy

First impression: i remember thinking her ability's quite cool, and the fact she was doing it all to not be alone again,,, ouch.

Impression now: i love her so much, i'd fight for her.

Favorite moment: cheating bcs it's not just one but pls, all the ways she's helped the ada??? they give this girl proper thanks.

Idea for a story: don't have a plot yet but,,,, kyoka and lucy besties,,,,

Unpopular opinion: i don't think this is in any way unpopular but... her being pissed at atsushi post-guild arc at first is very much understandable with the info she had.

Favorite relationship: atsushi!!! another case of "i ship this, but like both platonic and romantic depictions" kind of thing. also this is a reach/more based on hc than their 2-3 canon interactions, but kyoka pls. same with alcott, except sadly in this case there's... none on-screen...

Favorite headcanon: trans bi lucy (though this is kinda a cheat card bcs i have 9283498) of those. and one i internalized via osmosis, aka her being colorblind.

Sigma

First impression: cool design, very intrigued.

Impression now: another character i like quite a lot (though there's few i don't like/don't care about), very relatable.

Favorite moment: sigma facing fyodor/tachi and teruko respectively, like,,, think of yourself as much of "just a random someone" as you want, but that shit takes courage.

Idea for a story: aus aside, post-current arc sigma moving to New Home. like, both my heart and my brain say ada sigma, but judging by the kinda house he pictures i doubt the dorms would fit sigma's tastes laksdjf.

Unpopular opinion: (i promise i can do more stuff than complaining about takes i've seen on twt mainly) i don't like when the only thing ppl keep is the nervousness/anxiety, bcs precisely one of the things that makes sigma so interesting for me is how despite that he carries on (oh, to be).

Favorite relationship: nikolai, partly bcs how they get in kahoots in canon and bcs of their personalities combo. same with dazai, tbh (and yeah, more cases of "things i ship but also see platonically laksdjf i'm a big-ass multishipper).

Favorite headcanon: they will have to pry nb sigma from my cold, dead hands. and ace+arospec while we're at it. also i think he likes pretty hairdos with braids and buns.

[hrghhhhhhhhh]

Do you think it's simply too risky to have a male couple in an fps game? Cause Soldier76 also only has an off-screen ex similar to the only gay character in Apex while a trans woman or a bisexual woman with a girlfriend (all accepted things by straight male gamers!) are core parts of the game. The only thing the main target group really, and i mean REALLY cannot stand is seeing two gay men, let alone playing one who banters about it. Gibraltar never even mentions it. Probably not a coincidence.

While i think that apex historically launched with an nb person on the cast, and built gibs storyline with his ex boyfriend preloaded I dont think that theyre afraid of the "backlash". i think they listen very closely to the people theyre trying to represent. I do think that its not a 0% impact of the Gamers TM getting mad, but i realy dont think that, as a studio, they really give a shit. I think theyre mostly worried bout making unrealistic representation, and letting down people who REALLY care.

Im a pan cis white woman, so i am NOTTTTT qualified to speak on fetishization of wlw and trans women. However its never come across to me as their intent to dangle things to entice Gamer men. Like, thinking of other games that have a much more fanservice cast, like League, like gatchyas, ect I am thankful that i dont see apex being like that. Again, I'm totally not infallible here, and would love some other perspectives.

IDK, while i don't think they're 'intimidated' into not showcasing a romantic male relationship, i do think they suffer from chronic "most of the population" syndrome, with straight being the default. It shows with a lot of their cast being undeclared, andn the ones that ARE are like hyperflirty? In the same vein of trying for Good Rep, i personally dont think a characters's sexuality needs to be "proven" by putting them in a relationship. I have some chip on my shoulder about the bi woman and pan man being (suddenly) sent to the monogamy zone. Thats a personal gripe tho.

in conclusion, I'd love to see a mlm couple!!!! while i agree there seems to be a lack of intent in making one front facing, i dont think theyre doing it maliciously or out of cowardice. just. Too Default to Consider it? ? ? its not RIGHT, but its the more likely explaination. Maybe that is some underlying homophobia, but im not their therapist akjghaskjh

These have been so fun to answer i apprec the brain stretches

[lesbian-janai]

.

[curious-menace]

More Arkham knight riddler headcanons!

Gosh nonnie, buy a girl a drink first!

I'm spoiling you guys, here's some sfw ones and some nsfw below the cut.

Arkham riddler

Fear of heights and of being choked. One is a childhood phobia, the other is BC of batman. I'll let you decide which is which

Unlike the other riddlers he's not an insomniac but he does have terrible night terrors. Most of his nightmares are about his dad or batman or batman being his dad. I'm sure Jon and Harley would have a psychology buddy field day of the knew.

Executive distinction is pretty bad. If he's not scheming or plotting against batman he's lifeless. He needs a project to make life worth living.

Courtesy of the Catwoman dlc , we know he loves Coco with marshmallows. I imagine he has a shit load of those sugary flavoured syrups by his desk. Probably has a lot of cavities now too.

Likes to stream video games. He's really good at mystery games and used to enjoy having weekly cards against humanity matches with his followers/some of the other rogues. It's an undisputed fact that he is funnier/better at cah than joker.

NSFW BELOW THE CUT

I keep telling yall how much I canon this boy loves the strap and I'm going to keep doing it till someone stops me. He is Bi but he's a little afraid of other men as partners. I wouldn't call him a misandrist like ivy but he feels much safer with a feminine partner (cis or nb/ trans).

He really likes a possessive partner. No one really wants him around, let's be real. He wants to feel wanted for a little while. He'd find it arousing for a partner to bite him, leave a mark of some kind. He's not fussed on collars (see above for why) but if he trusted you he might let you put one on him in private. I really see him enjoying being possessed and owned by someone for once in his life.

He really likes it when partners give him hickeys. He mostly likes them on his neck where other people can see he's been having a fun time. But he also likes them on his thighs too. Big deep purple ones that take days to fade, ones where you can see the outline of the teeth that made the mark.

If he's bottoming he hates it when you edge him. Don't get me wrong, he loves the feeling, and the overstimulation after is just the cherry on top. But he hates being reduced to simpering incoherent mess

Itching to try sounding. It'll hurt like hell but let's face it, Eddie's a masochist. spends a lot of time fantasizing about someone booting his door open , knocking him on his ass and forcing (but not really) him to try it. Up until recently( ie Arkham Knight) it was usually Selina or ivy doing the deed. Guess he'll have to find someone new to daydream about.

Sorry this took so long nonie. I kept getting distracted. I'm sure I have a lot more but I worry I'll start repeating myself. Maybe next time, people could send me some prompts or a theme? I can do more with that than off my own bat, it seems.

Got any more questions for me? HMU with an ask or a DM. I'm always happy to talk about our favourite curious menace

[raretypespecimen]

gbf wasnt a good movie

love simon was another mediocre white romcom

so was that hulu christmas movie with k-stew with the stalker gay friend

cherry pop wasnt even a gay movie it was about a straight guy doing drag and the gay queens getting mad about the intrusion to their space was painted as bad and they all embraced him as if gay people arent forced to make room for cishets enough

hurricane bianca was gold but also the only genuinely relatable things were the homophobia she faced and im sick of that shit

a lot of shows that get recommended to me because of lgbt characters actually suck or the representation itself sucks imo

like good omens has a nonbinary character; it's fucking beelzebub. as an occultist? love it. as a nb person wanting representation that i can share with everyone that isnt a fucking DEMON PRINCE OF HELL? not so much

i shouldnt even have to get into whats wrong with cmbyn and similar age gap lgbt romances

name one piece of modern trans media where the trans person is simply existing and not actively being abused on screen

name one piece of bisexual media at all where it isnt riddled with bad stereotypes or that's not treated like a personality trait or used for jokes

give me a modern piece of lesbian media where the women in love are neither abused or hiding their relationship (like fr stop spreading the myth that lesbians and bi women steal men's wives, they make it out like gay women out there wreckin homes on the daily)

give me a movie about gay adults that has good writing AND doesnt delve into explicit sexual territory (because some of us like to watch movies with our moms ffs and every so often it would be nice to share lgbt culture w my family without making them uncomfortable)

the state of modern lgbt media is just schlock and weak representation that we all instinctively praise in the moment because we were mentioned but in hindsight i feel like little to none of it helps us in the long run

we're still starved for representation. dont let the amount of out and proud characters fool you. only a small fraction of them are any good and hardly any of them portray healthy relationships or positive experiences the majority of the run time. i shouldnt have to be subjected to homophobia when im looking for escapism and if i am then you better make that escape something worth escaping to filled with even more positive lgbt experiences.

and like honestly....when can a character just be lgbt without that being their main personality trait or story arc. i wish they'd do something new for once

[teruthecreator]

on that note, i’ll say that the niche entertainment community is also largely male-dominated, so it’s not even entirely the fault of the people in fandom spaces. they definitely contribute, and peoples actions are also pretty heinous in the silencing of non-male voices (or just the silencing of non cis male voices bc i know trans men still face a lot of wack shit. don’t take this as me grouping all men together and be like “haha man bad”), but also like. look at all the popular semi-”niche” creators/platforms. 

twitch? the most mainstream people are men. and, if they aren’t men, they’re categorized as “thotty” women who just show their tits on camera. but then you have people like ninja (an objectively annoying person) who has Mainstream Acknowledgement and callmecarson (who, as i’ve recently heard, has some pretty shit opinions and like hhh i liked slimecicle more anyway ghbrgjhrg) who--while not receiving mainstream attention--is still massively popular amongst the twitch community and youtube gaming community. 

podcasting? right off the bat, the mcelroy brothers. undoubtedly the kings of the niche podcasting capitol. i’m not including podcasts run by people like joe rogan bc joe rogan had prior fame before moving to podcasting (to my knowledge), while the mcelroys basically created their success through podcasting. but welcome to nightvale is written by guys, tma has their main character have the same name as One Of Their Writers (again, to my knowledge. i just kno the guy is involved). even more chill podcasts like tmg and the gus and eddy podcast are run by men. 

youtube? listen, i shouldn’t need to rattle off a list of popular yt guys. there are Sooooo many of them. some that are actually good people, and others who are shit! 

so i’m not saying it’s all that surprising that women’s voices, nb people’s voices, and trans men’s voices are being suppressed by the overwhelming cis male-focused fandom. but it’s just...kind of annoying? obviously i cannot speak for nb and trans people bc i am a cis woman, but from a lesbians perspective it’s just tiring to see a hundred takes on a woman character to pair her w as many men as possible. and a lot of people will say “oh what about bi women? what about pan women?” which is a totally valid criticism to make when considering fandom culture. obviously they should be respected and listened to and given a platform to share their ideas 

but when my friends--most of which are NOT lesbians--get their inboxs blown up with people justifying random pairings when my friends 1. did not post abt it and 2. did not ask, it just gets. tiring! like i can’t have this One Thing? out of this whoooole male-dominated cast, run by men, in a male-dominated industry. i can’t sit here and think about women loving women without any men involved? like, lesbian voices are shut out COMPLETELY in some cases, which is ultimately unfair. 

speaking in specifics, the amnesty fandom had this HORRID culture of certain individuals attacking people (women predominantly, wlw women especially) who simply critiqued the lack of character backstory or focus on women npcs vs men npcs. and it got to the point where people who made VALID CRITIQUES would get these paragraphs from these people that then made THEM FEEL BAD FOR HAVING AN OPINION! like, as a woman, you are ALLOWED to look at a work and be like “hm. could use more women.” 

MOST OF THE TIME, THAT OBSERVATION IS 100% ACCURATE!!! 

and idk i got tired of it then, and now im tired of it again. i just wanna be a lesbian in peace, okay? can i just, like, have that? 

[harocat]

Hi! I'm asking this out of curiosity and not trying to start anything, but most people who talk about the absence of lesbian flags tend to be terfs (which I KNOW you're not), and I won't trust or talk to them, so I thought maybe you could clear this up for me: I don't understand the need for a lesbian flags when no other pride flag specifies gender. Bi/pan/ace/etc women and men use the same flag, and lesbians are gay women? I don't have a problem with a lesbian flag but I don't get it.

(flags part 2/2) There is of course the bear culture flag that's gender specific, but that's a specific niche/group much like the pink flag was originally the "lipstick lesbian" flag, and not something all gay men use. And the orange stripe flag is only 2 years old, so there are a lot of sources that might not think to use it. Do you have any insight here?

Literally like every lesbian I know complains about the lack of lesbian flag inclusion in pride content, and none of us are TERFs. Also I would assume TERFs still want to use the lipstick lesbian flag, as the newer version with the orange and red has representation of trans and nb lesbians on it. If anything making the usage of a lesbian flag that is inclusive more common would piss TERFs off, so we should use it as much as possible. 

Bi/Pan women are attracted to the same people as bi/pan men. The flags are about attraction, not just gender, which makes sense bc not all lesbians are women (some are NB for example). If bi/pan women have the same attraction as bi/pan men, of course they don’t need a different flag. The ace flag is about lack of sexual attraction (and your romantic orientation is separate from that). That doesn’t change with gender. 

Lesbians are non-men who are attracted to non-men. That’s uniquely different from non-women who are attracted to non-women. It’s not the same culture either. And there is a history of lesbians being erased or grouped in with gay men in a way that diminishes their existence. We are all in this together, but at the same time, we’re our own group as well. We have our own systemic oppression that we face, and while much of it overlaps with the gay community, much of it is unique to us.  We deserve to be represented instead of grouped in people who love non-women, bc that is literally the opposite of what we are??

People keep bringing up ‘oh well there wasn’t a lesbian flag until recently’, but people have TRIED to make lesbian flags. They just haven’t caught on to the degree other flags have. It might be worth examining why those flags haven’t caught on, and it might come down partially to erasure. This is even worse lately because lesbians are often conflated with TERFs despite a) most of us not being TERFs. b) the fact that there are a shit ton of hetero, bi, etc. women who are TERFs. If people are automatically thinking ‘TERF’ when they see lesbian, maybe they need to reexamine themselves.

Also it’s a pretty flag and and it rules. 

edit: sorry if I came across too heated. I got kind of worked up here. 

[yungcrybby-anonymousbosch666]

been thinking about my gender lately. and how people think being nb or trans is a “fad”

it’s not a fad. because the terminology and discourse exists people can FINALLY identify things about themselves they’ve brushed off. i never talked about my gender with any of my therapists or counselors.it’s like i was “numb” to having a gender. people look at me and see a black girl so that’s what i was. i tried not to ever think about it. it just was the way it was. the cut is because it’s long, i ramble, i don’t know and it’s not really all that interesting. 

suspiciously so, according to the therapist who picked up on how i was also non-responsive about my sexuality. i didn’t come out until i was 28 or so. i thought i was bi for years because compulsory heterosexuality. i just wanted to hang onto to straight-ness. 

but now i’m thinking i don’t want to take part in the gender binary or heterosexual...imbalance

when i was a little kid, i was an awkward tomboy coerced into practicing femininity. forced by my mother to wear bows in my hair, earrings and dresses (but not a lot, i would win those fights. come hell or high water i was going ot be wearing pants or shorts. culottes were a happy compromise because i could still play and rough house in them. and don’t get me started at the stern looks or scolding i’d get for accidentally showing my “shame” if my legs splayed a little too widely.).

i was literally never not miserable with the uncomfortable (often ruffled--- my mom liked ruffles) clothes i was forced to wear. and the little earrings. she dressed me like a little version of her. i still feel grossed out and slightly nauseous when i think about small diameter hoop earrings and stud earrings because of how little freedom i had to express myself as a child.

late into highschool and into my early 20s i s l o w l y became more feminine because of pressure from my mom, aunt and the desire to fit in and also to be taken seriously at work. i trying to conform to people’s expectations. i started wearing a full face of makeup for the first time at like 25. before that i was lip gloss and mascara only. 

the most important part for me was realizing that my hatred of “girly” things came from not only how femininity was foisted upon me but also from how “feminine” is “inferior” or bad in a patriarchal, misogynistic society. how everything women do is transformed into being purely for the male gaze and becomes objectification we do not necessarily consent to. i didn’t want that because i didn’t consent to it. 

i kept femininity in the back of my head like it was some kind of forbidden fruit or power. ..idunno, my psyche is weird. i found embracing “femininity” empowering which is incredibly clich but i swtg i have an actual transformative takeaway. it’s not because “turns out everyone else was right; i am a girl” because i’m not.

at some point,i realized that me oscillating between “masculine” and “feminine” meant that i was truly questioning my assigned gender. because of the discourse around gender i was able to identify my feelings and unpack them.

i became critical of the concept of gender, in the true way, NOT the terf way. terfs, terfs stay away. go fuck yourselves.

so now i like  dressing like a slut and  wearing a lot of makeup etc., because it is my wont. because i like it. not because that’s what people expect of me or because that’s what i’m “supposed” to be. because i like it. 

strangely, because i am both fat and black people think i should wear a trashbag of shame so now trying to be pretty is subversive because beauty standards of worth are super weird. my skin is also darker than a paper bag so there’s that aspect of it too. i’m “ghetto” if i peacock but it’d fine if i were light skinned.

but then i also wear basketball shorts, shirts with the sleeves cut off and other “masculine” workout attire. men’s  shirts and shorts etc.,

this is super normal but people get so confused.

that’s how narrow the gender binary is. normal shit is confounding to people. my fantasy closet would look like rob halford and striperella or an ig hoe shared it.

why can people like items of clothing, modes of dress, makeup, lack of makeup just be instead of pushing into a narrow binary.

[gnostic-heretic]

And when I say a lot of t*rf posts end up on my dashboard I mean it and it’s always so hard to try to separate between the people who are ultimately well meaning and didn’t know and those who spread this stuff maliciously. That post is right tho if you know what r*dfem transmisogyny and transphobia looks and sounds like it’s harder to fall for these posts... the shitty thing about t*rf shit is that it trickles down, in a progressive scale from their blogs to seemingly “neutral” (but never actually neutral*) blogs that maybe sound a little iffy but never outright call themselves g/ender critical or name trans people, onto complicit popular discourse blogs and then on people’s dashboards. *Hell one time I saw a blog that seemed like an innocent supergirl femslash blog just to find she reblogged constantly from t*rfs posts that were just on the borderline and never outright mentioned trans people, only buzzwords and this is what I mean by “neutral” blogs that are actually complicit. This blog has a lot of followers. How many of them reblog these posts uncritically? And I wish there were more lists of said buzzwords and how to recognise them but

The reality is that we trans people especially trans women have to be constantly on the watch for shit like this. We know the arguments and we know why they’re bullshit. Meanwhile cis people don’t really know the specifics of their ideology and seem to fall for it over and over. And the worst thing about it is that t*rfs use this as confirmation bias that their ideas are actually good and everyone would agree with them if they just present it without the slurs and mocking. But the slurs demeaning and mocking are a fundamental part of it, and of trans exclusion in general. Fear mongering and dehumanising trans people are the mean to wiping us out of existence.

I won’t explain why those ideas are wrong because I’m starting from the assumption that my followers are not transphobic and don’t find statements like “trans women are women” controversial, but buzzwords include (warning for blunt discussions of transphobia):

- expressing “concern” about men invading women’s spaces or the “purity” of said spaces (they don’t use the word purity but as a concept in general). This concern is never explained, only stated, because once you look into it you find that it’s actually about trans women. As a side note, the whole “invasion” thing is a popular one and it is reminiscent of white s*premacist bullshit ... this idea that since gay trans people are “actually straight” we will eventually outnumber “the real” gay people by calling ourselves gay and invading their spaces. the more you know ... if this doesn’t ring a bell you need to look into actual n*zi theories like “the gre//at re\\placement” and then we can talk again. The jump from t*rf to alt-ri/ght trad mom is shorter and swifter than either of those groups would have you believe

- “males can’t be lesbians” a pretty non controversial statement if it wasn’t that male is code for trans women. “Men who fetishise lesbians” is also a tricky one because while this is indeed a real issue, they’re referring to “auto/g/ynephilia” aka the idea that the reason lesbian and bi trans women transition at all is just because they fetishise the idea of themselves as a woman/lesbian (contrapoints has a good in depth video about this that explains better than I ever could) — on the same note talk about how “male sexuality” is something inherently corrupt, oppressing, and violent, and cannot be healthy ever, without any other context given is also usually code for “trans women are perverts and sexual predators” . The word “p//ornsick” also comes up often so watch out for it.

- the pervasive idea that a group of “straight people fetishising being gay/a lesbian” is out there and threatening REAL gay/lesbian spaces starts from here. I’ve mentioned a/utogy/nephilia but “fujoshi” is usually code for gay trans men, with a similar idea behind it. We’re not really gay men, just straight women who fetishise the idea of ourselves as a gay man... at least that’s the idea behind it.

- which brings us to the point. “straight people invading gay spaces” is usually if not always code for gay trans people.

- kinda related to the above point, honestly you’re all fools if you think the whole ace discourse bullshit wasn’t just eventually a path to trans and bisexual exclusion. Trans and bi people have been saying this for years but no one wants to listen. That’s not to say that exclusionists are t*rfs but those ideas were popularised by them... that’s just to say learn where your ideology comes from before you endorse it and embrace it

- similarly “queer is a slur” started there so you might want to reconsider why you’ve been convinced to tag your posts “q slur” by people who use other homophobic slurs pretty liberally lol . “Queer means straight people invade our spaces!” + any talk about gnc straight men/women and how it doesn’t make them queer or lgbt, Yeah, this was about never about “gnc” it was trans people all along. The implication is that trans people don’t exist, so we can be nothing but gnc “males/females”. Congrats! You’re a fool! Now don’t make me read this bullshit ever again.

- stuff that makes fun of said “gnc people” “queers” , man buns, undercuts, brightly coloured hair, specific names (aiden comes to my mind) careful about posts that mock the concept of “queering heterosexuality” they’re usually about gay couples with one trans and one cis person, or where both people are trans but with different asab. (ie a gay trans man dating a pan cis man, a trans woman and an afab nb person dating will get mocked as “straight people” who are just pretending to be anything but) sometimes it’s also about bi people jsyk but...

- “forcing young lesbians to not identify as lesbians”/“stop telling young lesbians they should be/are men” is also a big thing. implies that trans people are out there recruiting teenagers who would otherwise be cis lesbians (or more rarely cis gay men) and forcing them into identifying as trans. “young lesbians” also doesn’t always mean young lesbians it’s usually meant to misgender trans men who already identify as men (but in this theoretical framework trans as a concept is nonexistent, a perversion, a delusion, so what could we be but porn/sick straight people or delusional, misguided cis gays who fall victim of a conspiracy)

- entire blogs dedicated to d/etransition (or “reidentifi/cation” as they call it now) experiences that don’t bother to acknowledge that their experience is not universal and au contraire seem to want to push detransition as the one way to happiness especially for afab people. Yes I do think that people who detransition should be able to talk about it, but if the conclusions you draw are “this didn’t work for me so it’s toxic and bad for everyone”, and openly advocate against trans people’s existence, you’re full of shit. Only a small percentage of trans people detransition: over 90% of us are satisfied with the results. It’s all just concern trolling.

- posts about how dysphoria is either a “delusion” or a “normal female experience”, posts that sound a lot like body positivity but they’re actually pushing for detransition (ie you should accept your body as is, surgery is mutilation of your already perfect body etc etc) this is also tricky but it’s all in the language. Phrases like “young women who undergo surgery to fix their already good bodies” could refer to a variety of things but it’s all in the context. Words like “reconnect” “reidentification” are usually presented as alternative. Dysphoria is usually not named and referred to as a delusion or social pressure and something that should never be considered real, ie if you see something like “young women undergo surgery to chase a delusion” it probably comes from a t*rf. be wary of any surgery talk in general is my point because it’s usually presenting gcs as on the same level of lip fillers and Botox (ignoring that trans people face infinite struggles to access surgery and social ostracism for pursuing medical transition so it’s not the same AT ALL)

- talk about stuff like “hrt is dangerous actually” and “binding is horrible actually”? Yeah. You can guess where it comes from. It’s important to acknowledge the risks of hrt/binding but sensationalism about how it’s dangerous and could kill you and so on... it’s just overblown concern trolling to convince people that medical transition is mutilation and a conspiracy to kill the above mentioned “young lesbians”

- sentiments akin to “t*rf is a slur used against lesbians” even if not presented this way are also a red flag, sorry. If you don’t want to be called a t*rf, maybe don’t speak and act like one.

- the sad news is in the end there’s no way to discern whether someone is a t*rf or not because a lot of the time these same talking points come from blogs that have little “t*rfs don’t interact tee hee!” Banners on their description. A lot of r/adfem blogs out there are side blogs of people you wouldn’t usually suspect. Maybe they are vocal against trans exclusion, and in support of trans people, and then switch accounts to hurl about how horrible it is that they feel forced to welcome us “sexual pervert straight people” into their spaces. That’s why imo it’s more important to recognise the ideology than it is to look for clues. Again, if it sounds like one, it’s probably one :’)

[androdragynous]

twitter anon here is your reply post, im putting it under a break bc i dont want ppl to reblog it like a discourse post. preventative measure. also bc its a long post

[ link to my tweets for context ]

Anonymous said to canonkiller: June 2nd 2019, 4:05:40 pm · 12 minutes ago yee haw, u asked something about why sharing an ace identity to strangers is necessary? being ace is something not accepted by others 100% of the time, and it is still an oppressed group which is why it’s part of the lgbtq community bla bla, especially when being horny/making sexual jokes can be the norm, and especially when you want to have open convos about attraction and sexuality. that’s. Kinda why.

Anonymous said to canonkiller: June 2nd 2019, 4:06:57 pm · 11 minutes ago I’d also like to add that! Sexual attraction is weird so that maybe you’re not comfortable with some things as an ace person as others are,, and being ace is seen as negative pretty often. It’s nice to say Hey I Exist

im going to try to phrase this in a way that makes sense but my feelings on the whole thing are a lil nebulous so bear with me on that front; none of this is meant to come across as accusatory or hostile, it’s a genuine confusion when present 

i guess where i’m coming from is like. telling strangers that you’re ace is still telling strangers about your sex life, where telling people that you’re gay / lesbian / bi / pan / trans / nb isn’t. nothing about that prior list reveals anything about your sex life, and all of them can be present alongside being ace. whereas ‘ace pride’ is just like... the opposite of a hentai / ahegao shirt or whatever. it’s non-sexual, but in a sexual way, if that makes sense? its like. it’s still information about your sex life that i, as a complete stranger, do not need or want to see.

it also, unintentionally or not, feels like it’s implying everyone else at pride is sexual. as if by specifying, it’s marking the others as others. ‘here are the gay people, here are the lesbians, and here are the ones who aren’t sexual deviants’, kind of. and i know it’s probably unintentional! again, i don’t mean to be like Ace People Are Evil or anything, but it’s just... it feels uncomfortable, as someone who is treated as being inherently sexual for not being straight. and uh not gonna lie but your addition of being horny / making sexual jokes as being the norm for the lgbt community is uhhhhhh not helping with that one, actually, it’s kind of proving it. which is less than ideal.

also - again, genuine, honest question - what is the oppression ace ppl face for being ace? because practically every form of oppression i can think of - being denied housing, jobs, adoption, rights - simply won’t apply in the day to day life of an ace person. from my perspective - which i admit is limited, which is again why i’m asking - the only time you could, for example, be fired for being ace, would be if you routinely brought up that you were ace and your coworkers got uncomfortable about the fact you continued to talk about your sex life or lack thereof. and i don’t think that’s the same as being fired for having a same-gender partner who just exists, because that’s not mentioning your sex life, or transitioning, which also has nothing to do with your sex life.

i... really don’t think that discomfort is tied just to being ace, though? like, a lot of non-ace people are uncomfortable, as an example, kink / bdsm at pride. or horny / sexual jokes (you’ll notice, for example, that i don’t post those despite not identifying as ace). or being uncomfortable with people who make their sex lives or lack thereof a major focus of their identity. there’s no reason for that to be the common ground for ace experience when that’s something... a lot of people don’t like. it’s not like gay people go over to some dude in a hentai shit and start congratulating him. we all think its fucking weird, because that’s being sexual in a place where people aren’t giving consent to seeing it. you know, basic human decency standard.

it’s also... the description of seeing other ace ppl and relating to them is all fine and good, but it’s in the context that like... everyone who doesn’t give you intimate details about their sex life is then automatically not ace. you have no idea! you have no idea about most of the people you see! is a lot of media sexualized? yeah! and a lot of people - ace or not - have a lot of issues with that! it’s not like people who feel sexual attraction are 110% comfortable with some sex scene in a crowded theater, it’s fuckin weird for everyone.

i do also have to bring up my experience w the identity in fandom spaces, which is important, because to me it is PROFOUNDLY uncomfortable when people are like “this child character from this children’s series is asexual and this character is gay!” because it’s like. they’re 12. this is a book series written for twelve year olds. none of them are sexual. pointing out that one character is Very Not Sexual and the other is gay has some aforementioned unfortunate implications about how people view being gay! i have the same concern seeing ace pride flag stamps on a minor’s deviantart profile as i do when i see a fetish stamp there; the simple dread that children are being exposed to sexual content - or being told they are abnormal for not experiencing it when they’re children - and it’s expected to be a point of pride. that concerns me. i fear for kids who are ‘proudly ace’ because, from my experience, the ace people i have met bring up sex far more often than those who aren’t ace or haven’t made it a focal point of their identity. at the end of the day, i don’t want to know about how much or how little anyone, ESPECIALLY A CHILD, wants to have sex! and i think thats a pretty normal thing to not want! 

it’s not anywhere near my business unless they are my partner, in which case we can talk about it, like people in healthy relationships do. and if we break up because we can’t reach a compromise, that’s... normal? like, wanting different things from a relationship is generally why things don’t work out. that’s not ace oppression or anything. thats just normal dating.

my question still doesn’t feel answered! it still feels like it boils down to lgbt people aren’t telling people about their sex lives, ace people are, and i don’t need to know why i need to know the details about ANYONE’S sex life without my consent - which i’m not giving when im looking at pride merch on etsy or people’s profiles on deviantart. especially when the meaning of ‘asexual’ has been diluted to the point where it means ‘someone who isn’t wanting sex 24/7′ which is. how most people are.

[smilesandexits]

2, 8, 18?

ok lol im putting all this under a cut because i went big on 8 and 18

and just so y’all know, 18 is about books so that is like. my area. get some good books at the bottom of this post.

2.  How did you discover your sexuality, tell your story?

When I was 13 I met other transmasc people and figured out my gender. from there i was pretty sure i’m gay, and over time I realised that if i am like. actually attracted to anyone, which i’m still not really sure of, it’s not at any typical level or in any typical way so here we are with gay aroace.

8.Describe the style of clothing that you most often wear.

okay so like. basically punk disaster gay? black jeans who doesnt at this point and my Jacket lemme... get some pictures shit man i love my jacket.

the pins are ever changing because y’know. gay.

when it’s hot out i wear things like this shirt

that get cut off by the jacket.

OKAY thats the Style portion of the day!!

18. What is your favourite lgbt+ book?

okay i am SO the right person to ask about this holy shit okay lemme just say first off i have a not very active book blog @pridebooks but y’all can also come and ask me here about books, i seriously know so many. i’ve read over 40 books with lgbtq+ characters so far in 2019 so now we can actually get into the answer.

kind of im sorry.

so FIRST OFF i differentiate between “lgbtq+ book” and “book with lgbtq+ characters” and they’re both important and i have favorites of both but! most of the time i really want books with lgbtq+ characters. So im gonna give favorites of both because i cant pick one.

LGBTQ+ book:

Symptoms of Being Human by Jeff Garvin

very much so About Being Genderfluid. It’s written by a straight cis man, but he actually talked to enough genderfluid (and other nb folks) that I was surprised to find out that the author was a straight cis guy. There’s a lot of triggery stuff, but I’m really not that mad because if you read the author’s note, you find out that he wrote it in reaction to real events, partly to draw attention to the issues we face. This intent combined with the execution of it is a big part of why I love it so much.

Gracefully Grayson by Ami Polonsky

Super sweet book about a trans girl named Grayson. Again, it’s written by a straight cis person (straight cis woman this time), and once again it’s clear that she did her research. There is triggery stuff, but it’s also super sweet and it’s a middle grade book, and I love seeing stuff for younger people.

Books with LGBTQ+ Characters

Otherbound by Corinne Duyvis

Otherbound is set in 2 worlds: Nolan’s (ours), and Amara’s (the Dunelands, where magic is real).Amara is on the run, a servant to the (former) Princess, Cilla, whose family was overthrown by the Ministers when they were young. Her peculiar type of healing magic is, essentially, convenient for misdirecting the curse on Cilla. Since they were young, Nolan has been experiencing Amara’s world through her - seeing what she sees, feeling what she feels, etc... - every time he closes his eyes. But he’s always been a silent observer. Amara has never known that he’s there, and he never had a way to let her know. Until now.

I cannot express my love for Otherbound enough. Bi main character. Magic. Disabled characters. Fat character who is never looked down on for it. The worldbuilding is incredible. And look how freakin’ gorgeous Cilla is.

anyway i really love otherbound please go read it (also: On The Edge of Gone is also fantastic and has an autistic main character and i love her.)

You Asked For Perfect by Laura Silverman

Ariel Stone is the Perfect Student. First chair violin, on track to be valedictorian, and regular community volunteer. But a failed calc test isn’t part of his plan. He can fix it, keep his grade, keep on track. But he needs to get a tutor to make that happen.And Ariel may not like calc, but he might like Amir.

What more could I ask of a book honestly.Talking shit about the school system? ✔Telling us there are things more important than school? ✔Showing the actual side effects of the pressure put on students to be perfect? ✔Bisexual main character? ✔Diverse characters? ✔Including lgbtq+ characters of color? ✔Seriously, I was recommending this book to people by the time I was on page five. Ariel is explicitly Jewish - so explicitly Jewish that Laura Silverman put her grandmother’s matzo ball soup recipe in the back of the book because it was unfair to rave about it so much without providing one. He’s explicitly bisexual starting on page 8.Amir is a gay Pakistani Muslim (and his sister is a hijabi) and I absolutely love him.Sook (Ariel’s best friend) is a chubby Korean lesbian.And both Amir and Sook’s eyes are described as warm and I think that’s the first time I’ve seen characters of color’s eyes being described as anything but “dark” which like... wow...

And anything that’s by Shaun David Hutchinson

seriously I love him. I love his writing. There’s just... casual rep in his books. We just exist. And who knew “So... the world might be ending???” would be 1) a genre? that exists, and 2) my favorite

[theratprince]

i went to my trans group a couple days ago and the topic of conversation was non-binary identities, and a lot of folks talked about how hard it was just to get people to respect their identity and stuff, especially their parents. and a lot of these folks started off coming out as a lesbian to friends and family, and then came to understand that they’re non-binary.

and i guess in my case i was never a lesbian, but i was very intense about my need to be gendered as masculine/male. but a big part of the reason i started to question my gender was because genderqueer is a thing. and i’m not sure how many people took me seriously in that regard, but there did come a point where i really felt the need to be seen as a guy. particularly when it came to dating -- i felt a lot of dysphoria in being read as a lesbian and as being seen as “the girlfriend” (which had to do with my history of abuse and how being “the girlfriend” made me a burden). there just came a point when i realized i was attracted to other guys as a guy. i caught myself subconsciously hoping that a guy was bi or gay so that i’d have a chance. meanwhile, everywhere i went, straight women were admitting to me that i was their exception to the rule (many of whom later came out as bi).

and so like... i don’t really see myself as a man, and i identify a lot more with words like “guy” or “boy” but not because i don’t think of myself as mature. i’m like Man Lite™. i don’t see myself as a woman exactly, but i’m at the point where it’s no longer dysphoric for me to be referred to as “she.” i’m like, if i’m looking so pretty that people think i’m a lady, then hell yeah?

but also i kinda default to presenting as masculine for a few reasons. primarily, because i’m still working on coming out of my depression and lately i haven’t felt good enough to dress in anything more than my pajamas. but secondly, it’s just.... so much easier to be a guy, and that’s because of misogyny. i can just have my beard and throw on some jeans and nobody stares at me.

if i were able to express my gender without the burden of depression or misogyny, i’d have more freedom to make an effort to look cuter. i might put on a little eyeliner and lip gloss to go to the store. i might wear a dress when i go out with my friends. i’d wear a lot of off-the-shoulder tops and brightly colored shorts. and i’d keep my little goatee because i think it’s cute and not particularly masculine.

the thing is: i’m just not that brave. and i really did give it a good effort. it’s really hard to present as feminine when you’re alone in a new city and you’re using public transportation. and the few times i did, i was terrified that someone would read my voice (and my facial hair) as masculine and feel personally slighted that i deigned to leave the house in anything but denim and plaid. i feel like... i’m still pretty feminine so i don’t have to be afraid but like

one of the friends i made here is a drag queen who id’s as a cis gay man. and i was hanging out with him and his partner one night, and they were talking about getting home either via the train or uber. and my drag queen friend was saying how the train would be a bad idea, but not because he was afraid that he’d get shit for being in drag. i think he said something about how he gives off this “don’t fuck with me vibe” (which is honestly the truth. he’s a scorpio. that shit is palpable) because he’s always 100% to fight. and when he’s in drag he wears this giant rings that function like brass knuckles. and like at this point i know the difference between cis boys who watch UFC thinking they’re hot shit and tough as hell ladies who take no shit and my drag friend is honestly the latter.

i’m just not that brave. i honestly hate the way my face looks when i shave, and i rarely go anywhere nice enough to justify dressing up femme. some folks from the trans group were talking about going dancing and i could dress femme to that but i just keep thinking of myself as this squat, sweaty, hairy dude with big shoulders and saggy tits and no hips, looking absurd in a romper with make up running into my mustache so. i don’t do anything. i bind and i wear black and i try to take up as little space as possible.

but the discussion at the trans meeting made me think some more about my relationship with non-binary as an identity. but also my nb id is different from a lot of the other nb folks i know -- like our trajectories that lead us to nb-ness is really different, and that’s okay of course. like i don’t know how people refer to me when i’m not around, but i’d say there are a handful of folks who call me he or she or they, and i actually really like that. it’s almost affirming that i am a different gender to different people -- because it’s like... i don’t really have a clear sense of who or what i am, and i’m really okay with people getting different things out of our relationship, so however they choose to gender me is by far a reflection on them rather than me. 

i’m genderfluid, agender, androgyne, and maybe a demi-boy. i’m masculine and feminine. i don’t really have a gender. i wouldn’t mind being seen as both genders at once. as a blend of all and nothing. i don’t care how anyone sees me. i exist beyond gender. i have transcended gender. i am become gender, destroyer of worlds.

[scorpiointuitiveenergist]

Experiences with the Hellenic Gods: APHRODITE

Friendly Reminder: They are gods, but they are very human also, so they make mistakes. They look and act like us because in that way, we can relate to them.   All of this are my own experiences, so if you had something different, you are welcome to comment, still doesn’t invalidate my opinion, neither yours. Caring is sharing so if you find this useful, share this to someone that might need some enlightment in the subject.

So here we are, the real deal, my beautiful sea-born mom, my lady, my queen of love and aesthetics. Yes this is going to be a loooong post! Lets talk about my current tutelar deity, the one who is teaching me a lot, the Star that shines the most! (yes she wanted a lot of epithets before anouncing her name, lol) Aphrodite, goddess of love and beauty has arrived on stage! As I said in previous chapters, She is the one who took me in her guardianship, when I prayed for which one of the twelve gods wanted to be my patron, I suddenly went outside and saw in the west a huge pink cloud shaped like a heart. Before that I she took me as her student, I had once prayed in tears in front of Venus at that time, I was conflicted a bit with Christianity, but praying to her star, that time, was so inside me I had to cry, because since I am gay and everything I do is bad to their believes, I broke the mold, and cried after making it, because inside my soul, I knew she was going to understand me. She made me break the chain my mind had that what I was doing was wrong. I was a pretty rebel guy, but still that christian background kinda haunted me. So now I dont feel guilty anymore and I am able to perform better on spells and contacting other gods. I can’t talk you a lot about what she makes me to do because tutelar deities secrets are personal stuff, but still she told me I could give you some advices she have given to me. Aphrodite can be a very lovable, energetic and happy woman, but she can be very strict and if you dont respect her way she can be fierce. So after doing that prayer, the next day, I was walking when suddenly I felt her purifying, fresh and energetic energy, I wanted to dance and smile, it was a very nice sensation. But it was short timed. Another day, I was deppresed about a boy, and Aphrodite told me that I should try ivoke her energy into me. I was kinda skeptical about it, because I feared she take my body and made me do things at my expenses. I did my proper research and found out that actually you dont get possesed, but rather get spirited, you are you, but with different perceptions that outside people can see, feeling diferent too. So I did it, it lasted about an hour or so. I saw my eyes in the mirror and I saw the glow, Aphrodite’s glow in my eyes I started smiling and feeling much better. My brother even saw me and felt stranged, he told me I had puppy eyes and felt my energy pretty... entuthiast. I went to the bus and felt how Her powers, was fixing my hurted heart. It felt like the shattered pieces were getting healed and made me feel much better. After the bus stop, I had to walk to college for my test and an english teacher, a young handsome atheltic guy, gave me a ride to college, we are very friendly with each other, but that day, he never stopped staring at me, even I felt his face come too close to mine that time, nothing inappropiate happened but still it was fun! I always felt he had a small crush on me and that day it seemed a bit obvious. Still I went to the exam and everything. The teacher is a young handsome dude too, but he is pretty much an arrogant guy that could be nice sometimes, he had a bitchy attitude with me sometimes. That day he saw me and I smiled to him back. God, you would have loved to see his smile, he smiled like if I actually made him really happy! I did my test and everything, even finally met the guy who I was interested in (not in a romantic way, but he was new and spoke with argentinian accent, so I felt pretty drawn to him... I am not going to lie, he is hot, still I wanted to know him in a not romantic way!) Her energy can help you ease situations and people, even other gods! Ares for example got more fond to me after getting a bit of Aphrodite esence. (After that situation and banished her energy from me, I felt a bit of her inside me, I checked with my magical energist brother and he told me that was like a back up just in case my feelings got damaged and could help me right away) I told you these because Aphrodite likes to show off how can adventurous can be on her side, so she was like, “Tell them that story!”, so if you found it pretty offensive or weird I apologize.

So in my experience Aphrodite has been a great teacher, friend, and goddess! She likes to hang out a lot, laugh, joke and look pretty. But remember that she is a Goddess, and deserves respect. She can be strict and get angry, because love is a very serious matter to her. You know, the love is the strongest force, no surprise why she could protect Paris from Zeus thunderbolt using her girdle to protect him. More importantly, many women seems to despise her for being a slut, sex slave driven by men desire or weird shit like that. She actually hates when a man or woman talk about sexuality as if it is a piece of meat. For her making love is connecting to somebody else, enjoying you and your partner’s body, soul and mind. She can be quite liberal, yes, but she makes love because she desires to share a good experience and enjoy her body, rather than please or fullfill an arousal. She DECIDES who to give and make love too. But an most important aspect is that She likes to teach is about self love. Straight, Gay, Bi, Trans, Ace, NB, all and nothing, she loves them and teach them to love themselves. Thats why she is happy, and healed my heart, not because I wanted to attract someone, but because she knew I had to feel better, and in order to shine in your beauty, you have to smile. She is more of the beauty in happiness and Persephone beauty in sadness (I will explain myself in that chapter). She wants you to smile, enjoy yourselves, fertilize your feelings and make the fruit that others will perceive and find them attractive. She believes anyone has a star in their hearts and you can make it shine by loving yourself. So keep practicing self love, she likes to remind that the most important thing is to feel good and embrace yourself. She also loves people who fight for their happines, she can be lovely but a brave soldier too. Fight for love, not for anything Ares was his lover ;). Rember this is my experience with her, so I share how I perceive her. She likes pretty things roses, seashells, jewels, roses with honey, but rememeber, if you are going to offer her something, cheap or not, try to be in the best condition it can, wilted flowers are a huge no for her LOL.

Blessings to everyone and I’m sorry for the long post, I hope Aphrodite bless your life dear readers!

[spinnerprincess]

happy ace awareness week

i think you’re all probably aware that i’m ace by now, i mention it from time to time, but in case you’re not... heyyyyyy

you can find a lot of ace resources around, teaching you about asexuality, what it means, etc. i’ve been personally appreciating the hell out of lyd’s comics on the subject, the most recent of which is here.

this post isn’t for that. this post is for being aware of where i’m at regarding being ace. i would appreciate it if you read it.

hashtag lgbt/ace discourse ahead.

it’s been a weird year for me. a lot of good things have happened, and so have a lot of bad things. dealing with my asexuality has fallen into both categories. 

when i first encountered the term asexuality and adopted it for myself it was a very different time. i had made a friend who was ace. without going into detail, they were a little older than me, and were dealing with the aftereffects of a bad relationship where they felt harrassed and later assaulted by a partner. so i came into it with the full awareness that being ace could be rough and cause discrimination, etc. 

but honestly, in some ways, it was an easier time. back in 2011 asexuality felt less visible, but where it was visible, it was accepted pretty freely. some conversations around terms like “allosexual” began cropping up around them. i think i navigated them fairly well, and i learned a lot, and with everything i learned i grew surer that being ace was both a term that made me feel validated and comfortable, and the word that best defined my gender/sexuality experience. 

the worst thing i had to deal with was people who hated “aces prefer cake” jokes and the occasional “stop calling yourselves aces you’re not playing cards” which, meh, it’s just a cute shortening. i love it. didn’t stop then, won’t stop now. you couldn’t pay me to go back to a time when i thought sherlock was worth any attention (i at least didn’t fuckin ascribe to a lot of the shit like “oh he’s ace/aro and it excuses his bullshit” haha fuck off.). but. boy. sometimes i miss it.

this past year or two, it’s been shitty. first we had the tail end of the “queer” discourse. i understood some viewpoints coming out of that, but ultimately settled on feeling like it the people arguing to remove it from the lexicon were wrong. i think there’s some valid points to be made, but mostly found the whole argument tiresome. Let people call themselves what they want, and don’t use it for people you don’t know like it, or for the whole community. Done. 

and if I’m a little more hesitant to use it for myself, if i once described myself as queer freely and happily, and now do so nervously, backspacing it out of the text once or twice, that’s... something i hope to overcome.

but boy oh boy did that discourse just dovetail right into my personal hell. the kind of people who don’t want to see the community expanded, who want to stay on top and exclude people who aren’t being their kind of gay, immediately dug their claws into that argument about “queer” and didn’t stop.

i’ve endured months and months of ace discourse now and it’s... it’s been exhausting. i’m not even directly involved in it, but it’s still there. it’s constant. it’s insidious. 

what started as a counter argument of “queer is a great as a blanket word for people with complex identities, such as ace people” dove directly into “well, are ace people lgbt?” and didn’t stop. suddenly it was the topic of the season. early definitions said “yes” or “if they think they are.” more arguments. “well, heteroromantic aces aren’t lgbt,” became popular. i can see why. that kind of invisible distinction could play well into pretending you’re straight, after all - right? so went the discourse. ugh.

as that argument caught on, people with anti-ace agendas pushed it further. “so being ace alone doesn’t make you lgbt.” “kids can’t identify as ace, that’s sexualization.” “cishet aces just want to steal our resources.” 

i don’t want to go into all of these but. boy. some of them were presented logically, kindly. others devolved quickly into “aces are the worst and can die,” “ace people don’t belong full stop,” and even “lol look at me i’m a tumblrina i’m 13 years old asexual fictkin special snowflake” as the punchline of jokes that spread outside of this site. 

some ace people are assholes and of course stirred the pot more by being overtly bitter/turning things into oppression olympics type bickering over how aces have the worst, or whatever. some blogs people cited for examples of “terrible ace people co-opting lesbian stuff” or whatever else were literally from sockpuppet blogs making fun of ace people.

for a time, i even bought into some of it. i thought some of the early arguments, that heteroromantic aces shouldn’t be considered lgbt, might have valid points. but you know what? that’s bullshit. if you believe you belong, you should be welcomed with open arms. hetero aces experience some of the same shit i do. they probably also experience other shit. just because i don’t know what it is, or it’s different from mine, doesn’t mean it isn’t an alienating, and perhaps even queer, experience. their sexuality, as nuanced as it is, still sets them apart and they deserve support. we all do. 

it sucks to think that this shitty shitty discourse had me believing in a position that invalidated my own experience of aceness being the source of much of my queer experiences, for a while.

all this to say nothing of the invisible hate seeping towards aromantic people as well, lolololol. it’s not a big part of me the way being ace is but i’m probably somewhere on the aro spectrum and. great. thanks. i’m still so tired of split attraction model arguments. if it works for you, use it. if it works for other people, let them use it. is it so hard to believe that some people might experience things differently to you? or differently to how you would imagine? god.

my favorite part is when allo people started saying “allo is a slur!!!” when, get this: allosexual was pushed for and partially created by allo people who (rightly) didn’t want to be called “sexual,” like poc, and rape survivors. ace people adopted it into their language for their benefit, not for ours, lololololol

so. that’s the year i’ve been dealing with. i’ve had to unfollow a number of people i thought were otherwise cool over this. i haven’t gone a single month without finding someone i think is amazing, reading through their blog, and discovering with a sense of nausea that they would hate me. genuinely hate me. there’s no love there. someone who says “u shouldn’t follow me if you think ace people are lgbt lol” isn’t interested in hearing and believing my stories, my experiences, my life which is hard and queer and as deserving of support as anyone’s. they aren’t interested in treating me like a person. that’s... i mean, i think that counts as hate. yeah.

i still hesitate on the word aphobia, or, similarly, biphobia. i don’t know if it’s the right way to describe it, when the hatred you refer to comes from within a similar group of people with oppressed sexualities. i wouldn’t hesitate to say post from an allosexual person in favor of in corrective rape w/r/t ace people are aphobic. i wouldn’t hesitate to say a straight person who thinks bi people are disgusting is a biphobe.

but is that reality talking, or is it just me being unable to acknowledge that oppression is oppression, fear and hate are fear and hate, and discrimination towards aces, which i’ve spent the last two years being told isn’t real, despite experiencing it on a regular basis both in and out of community?

what’s the line between discrimination and oppression? if people’s everyday biases make it harder for ace people to live their lives, is there a point in determining that line?

i fuckin dunno. i’m so tired. i’ve spent a long year feeling like i’ve shrunk myself. i feel more comfortable lately talking about fictional ladies and my attraction to them, which isn’t sexual, and isn’t exactly romantic, but it’s... it’s something that exist. just recently i became comfortable feeling like i can use the term “wlw” for myself, which i fought myself for a long time on. being ace, being quietly non-binary were both things that felt like obstacles.

and the wlw community is just full of toxicity still. terfs have grown and drawn others to their ideologies, some of them using anti-ace tactics to do so, others using tried and true biphobic messaging and of course, who could forget the constant hammering of “trans women aren’t women” bullshit they like to pull. 

so that’s one triumph of the year. i’m nb, i’m wlw, i’m ace. i can say those three things and feel pretty comfortable in it. 

i just wish it didn’t also come at costs. i find it harder to express my ace life. i find it harder to feel positively about it. i don’t have the energy to deeply deal with ace headcanons lately. it feels like the online world is hyperaware of us now, if anything. everybody has an opinion. moreover, people feel entitled to an opinion, in a way they weren’t before. people feel like it can be their opinion that my ace experiences aren’t lgbt, or that my sexuality doesn’t exist or even harms theirs, or... i don’t know. what will be the next big reason asexuality is terrible/invalid/not lgbt?

if you bothered to read or hell just skimmed this long post... thank you.

thank you. 

i know i’ve been quiet about a lot of this. not all the time, but a lot of the time. i feel bad about that, a little? i want people to know what this looks like. knowing asexuality exists is so, so good. but knowing that ace people are facing right now, the movement of hatred that has swept across pockets of lgbt people in recent years, and having the awareness to try and combat it...

it would mean a lot to me, if it felt like more of that could exist.

[ashby-santoso]

I’m really here for some queer Harry/Ginny headcanons

Bi Ginny likes flying with the Holyhead Harpies because there are lots of other queer women there. Her mother still doesn’t really understand why it’s important, and her father is supportive but asks millions of questions...but thank Merlin, Harry just gets it. He does a bunch of the admin in the background for her, and jokes around with her team mates, and when she hears about a new sport they’re playing in the states he runs lots of the errands and makes the sign-up sheets while Ginny does all the front-line organising. She is completely psyched for running the UK’s first magical roller derby league.

NB Ginny who was always a tomboy but never thought it might mean something more, who worries Harry won’t want them, who lives under the crushing weight of misgendering every day...NB Ginny is working on getting their shit together. They cut their hair short to try and make people see them right - it doesn’t work so sometimes they still charm it long because they like the way it frames their face. They do what they fucking want thanks. (But it’s lonely.) (And they’re tired.) But since they came out, they’ve had a few old school friends get in touch unexpectedly. Luna’s no surprise, but Dean Thomas? It’s a funny way to reconnect with an ex, but Dean’s been making friends with all the queers in london and they can show Ginny around and make them feel normal again and honestly thank merlin for genderqueer exes.

Trans boy Ginny didn’t know anything about transness. He worried that the masculine aspect of himself was Tom Riddle, still inside him. It was Harry coming out to him as bi that finally made him break down, and the years between his 22nd and 25th birthdays were just a patchwork of fear and pain and loneliness…but also, ultimately, of growth. Every version of Ginny has intrusive thoughts about Tom Riddle, and in the end every version has learned to manage them, even if it was harder for some than others. But anyway, things are better now. He knows where he’s at, mostly. And Harry says his new stubble is cute. (It takes a while for anyone to remember that Arthur Weasley had 6 older brothers, and that this makes trans boy Ginny the 7th son of a 7th son...but that’s another story.)

Trans girl Harry (just like all the Harrys) hates the press, but Colin Creevey’s been moving higher and higher at the Daily Prophet and he does love to write about her. It’s hard to be annoyed when it’s all articles about her latest Quidditch successes and recaps of key moments in the second war, the text still humiliatingly enthusiastic but emblazened with THE GIRL WHO LIVED in enormous print. Ginny buys them all and pins them up in the bathroom to make her laugh. Molly Weasley has taken to knitting Harry fluffy, aggressively pink jumpers with curly H’s on them and she’s not sure how to tell Molly that she’s actually kind of a butch lesbian and her wardrobe is 90% flannel. It’s ok though, Hermione basically lives in Weasley jumpers these days because the unspeakables tend to work long hours in cold rooms with no dresscode. The two of them have this cute little butch-and-femme-best-pals routine going on and it’s fun to give her the jumpers and then borrow them back sometimes.

Ace Harry thought he couldn’t really be with anyone, and it was chewing him up inside. Ron couldn’t see what the fuss was about - “well, could you just date somebody and not have sex with them?” - which was sort of unhelping but also sort of really comforting. Hermione made him worried he might have all sorts of deadly diseases (“Google says it could be a symptom –”) until she found AVEN and figured it out. Harry cried. He and Ginny had lots of conversations, and it was painful but they said everything they needed to and then they got married. A little while later, Charlie talks to Ron who talks to Fleur who talks to Bill who talks to Ginny who encourages Harry to go to France to visit Bill. Fleur declares that she Knew Eet All Along and Bill takes him out to a grotty Parisian bar to meet a motley assortment of other aces and aros with an array of partners, friends and hangers-on. Being Bill’s friends, they are all much cooler than Harry and want to talk about things like French anarchist politics and how to look after facial piercings, but they also make asexuality jokes at every opportunity and they’re obviously keen to make him feel included. It’s…nice. He’s still mostly closeted but now he has a little fantasy of starting up an ace pick-up Quidditch team someday.

Ace Ginny takes years to figure it out. When she finally does, the really important things between her and Harry don’t change - the late-night conversations, the stupid Quidditch jokes, being there when he comes home from therapy every week. Knowing she’s ace makes her happier, calmer, more centred - but sometimes the weight of the world comes down on her shoulders, the weight of every book and film and conversation telling her there is something wrong with her. Then she doesn’t feel like touching him, doesn’t want to curl up and cuddle like she usually does - but this is nothing new for them. Harry has bad days of his own sometimes and so they already have their own little language of fist bumps instead of hugs, blown kisses and cups of tea and giving each other lots of personal space in a way that adds up to saying, I love you. Ginny starts volunteering at a wizarding LGBTQIA charity, and she doesn’t really talk about her personal life in the Daily Prophet interviews she does but she makes sure all the people who matter know where she’s at, and she makes sure everyone knows what she thinks. She supplies Harry with hundreds of shiny pamphlets to put in the back of his Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom, so all his students will know it’s ok to be queer or ace or trans. The pamphlets disappear startlingly quickly, and he says it’s the only time he’s really proud to hear hero-worshipful teenagers saying Well HARRY POTTER told me or Did you know that GINNY WEASLEY says...

[quadratic-shipping]

Kay, new icon is Vriska’s dice cause the gradient was lame, and every Vriska blog halfway to sunday has already had every photo of her face as their icon twice. It also works cause of yknow liking dnd and stuff. one thing I really liked about my last vriska pic one was the negative space made it feel like it popped and I feel like this one has sort of the same thing going for it. Wow, it can be that deep. I’m just rambling cause it’s 3am and yet again I have stayed up this long. I can;t wait til it’s winter again so I can force myself back into a normal sleep schedule. I stayed up all night a couple nights ago, and that gave me one decent night of sleep so I might just try that again tonight. Rest put under the readmore because it’s irrelevant and sleep deprived rambling I wouldn’t dare subject my beautiful followers and browsers to.

While I’m here, posting a late night thing no one will see or interact with; thank god; I was cleaning and I came across one of those neck warmer things that legit just a tube you pull up your face to keep your nose from freezing off because Canada Winters, I never can use them because I always fog up my glasses, and I just wanted to say that Niqabi gals with glasses are so brave? Legit if I had to deal with my glasses fogging up I’d die, I’d rather lose my nose to frostbite than fog them up (like I go outside enough loll) so for them to deal with that everyday is like, legendary. I mean, I guess if you were pretty antisocial you wouldn’t have to deal with it much but still, point totally stands. 

While we’re on the positivity train? Lesbians? y’all really like Vriska HUH? Thank you for interacting, I appreciate, yall are so valid. I’m torn between “You have good taste” jokes and “Yall will just like anything w/ vriska in it” and either way it takes too strong a stance on my own content to feel good about it. Obvs goes the same way for all the NB and Trans ppl interacting, yall are also Excellent and I appreciate yall. Obvs I’m cis so I don’t have any real godtier takes or anything abt. gender, but reading your guyss stuff is excellent please keep making it.

Uh sexuality update; Still labelling as bi, IDK if I really want to date men tho, before I actually and FINALLY get a taste of the other side; please; because I feel like the problem with my relationships re; dudes is just that I can’t just be myself, I’m just 900000% in my own head about it and not even like; trying to be idealized, idk whats going on I just have a hard time connecting w/ them and it’s defo my fault so idk bro. IDK it’s fun to have crushes but dating is BORING from my very limited experience with only guys which is why a gf would be excellent. Or girl aligned partner. I feel like maybe what I’m attracted to is like, femininity, not necessarily femmes or women. IDK bruh it’s weird. doesn’t help I can’t even figure out how to get and keep friends LOLLL it’s 3am. Sorry

Honestly before I started vrisrose posting I felt so useless yknow cause in the vriska circles there are a lot of intelligent people who understand canon better and are overall smarter and better spoken so I just felt like everything I had to say was just old hat and not very interesting. But the thing I like about VrisRose is no one else is talking about it as frequently ( I was searching the tag and my blog came up in the recco’s for blogs up top and I was very happy) so I feel like, hey, this is my niche. That one engineer of useless inventions quote: The best way to become top of your field is to specialize:, I jsut love rarepairs so much! I think it’s such a great way to approach character analysis because no one exists in a vaccum so seeing peoples interactions and what people like is so fun!!!! I say, invalidating all my personal issues lollll

CHARACTER ANALYSIS! FUCK TALKING ABOUT INTERACTIONS OR ACTIONS ON THEIR OWN OR THOUGHTS OR HC’S, I STAND BY MY ONE TAAKO ‘vriska did nothing wrong’ QUOTE; Trying to understand what characters morals, and their opinions on certain things by analyzing their opinions and interactions in canon is 500x more productive seeming to me than other things. Like, say taako’s thoughts about vriska, V and Lucretia are p similar actions wise, and he was pissed at her but that was mostly cause of the personal connections, when it doesn’t affect him Taako doesn’t seem to have any moral objections to any of the icky moral stuff; think robot planet or whatevs where they were gonna genocide the place and lup was like no and that was like the only reason he didn’t I’m pretty sure, I’m not too big brained on taako or adventurezone either so don’t take my word; So I think that Taak’s would be chill with Vriska. Another thing? The Lucretia thing was like, giving up which Taako is not ok with and Vriska thigns were about not giving up so I do legit think he would be totally coool with her, even if she were real, unless obvs she hurt one of the seven bird red robe people and their new friends.

ISN;T THAT SUCH A FUN METHOD OF CHARACTER ANALYSIS? I’m not drunk or in an altered state just tired enthusiastic and with a lot of pent up thoughts. Speaking of which, this song just came on it’s “Slowdance with you” by the Marcus Hedges Trend Orchestra and it is SOOOOO good, it’s on a vrisrezi playlist I put on bc I’m rereading song of the pyre because it was vriska day and it’s super good soo so good. It’s on loop now, legit best

Quick detours before I lay out some more hs thoughts; 

Overwatch:

-Ben “Captainplanet” came out w/ a new article and I LOVE IT so much and I want hhis job so bad I wanna get into stats so much ahhh  please so good it’s giving me a , this is crude but it’s the best way I can phrase it, a math erection. I love math so much <33333333

-The Shock, my faves, are doing well and I’m happy for them! I hope they go 7-0, I believe in them! I’m lying I am so fucking nervous for literally every match they have they’re gonna 2-5 AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Why am I so INVESTED? They technically could take first spot but that’s require titan’s to lose every match left and the shock to 7-0, but the thing is I thought that I wanted that but 

-then I watched the titans london match today, and I HATED the thought of titans losing. And losing so hard to other teams too, and I didn’t realize this but I think I do actually kinda like the titans?The thought of them not being a great team makes me sad. I think it’s like I really like them and shock as rivals, yknow, stage one and two, then this upcoming map? If Titans aren’t still Good in this meta it just sorta makes their rivalry not fun. Kismesis vibes is what I’m gonna say cause I’m TRASSSHHHHH pls stop my terrible hands from typing also if I ever saw actual ship stuff I would kill whoever made it. Like I’m not gonna check their socials or anything but if they’ve got a match against most teams I’d probs root for them. The Wolf section today was so funny lollll

-I think I might hate the London Spitfire. I have literally no reason to? I think all the players are good and I like them as people and I would never actively hate on them? But I’m like. Really mean to them in my head. I was so satisfied seeing htem lose to Florida, and Titans like IDK? Also they’re hella overrated so anticlutch jfc. Hate the franchise, love the players if that makes sense. IDK WHYYYYYYYYYYY

-Also I’m gonna miss tomorrows shock match and I’m so scared rip.

Misc: 

-Tripped backwards and somehow upturned my moms glass scale and it fell on my foot, that shit hurted.

-Oh My God I’m Projecting a million different things right now because I feel like this will not have an audience if you see this I’m begging you please don’t interact I’d die of embarassment keep the fact you’ve seen this a secret from me

HS:

-JFC song of the pyre is an excellent fic, I wish it would ever get updated it’s so fucking good guys

-I need to read more vrisrezi long form

-Non-sgrub vrisrezi is best vrisrezi

-My ideal Vrisrezi au would be like HS canon, diverge into non-sgrub and they completely fall out of touch, Killing Eve season 1, then Song of the Pyre. THAT is what I want.

-Killing eve season one and two would be an even BETTER VRISROSE AU AHHHHHH

-I once read a very good trollstuck rose but it was an eri-rose ship so basically what I want is that persons troll rose but paired with vriska. For how much I blog about it I’ve read very little vrisrose fic but almost everything I know comes from this fic. . Oh uh this is not the erirose fic that I read w trollstuck although it does unfortunately have erirose but I can excuse it when the vrisrose is this Excellent

Alright I’ve run out of hyper juice, have a nice night, sorry for posting thisssss

bye