#me: an episode of tma took place in that building

[localspaceangel]

honestly, i've been thinking about it and i feel like i'm. kina dissapointed with how the final season of tma has been turning out (more in the tags)

[dathen]

Okay I have some complicated thoughts following Melanie’s arc that all build on top of each other and hinge HEAVILY on unreliable narrator interpretations so bear with me

In my relisten I’m at the beginning of s3, and it always shocks me a bit at how quickly she interprets Martin’s interaction with her as hostile.  I’m going to skip over the “it’s understandable, Melanie’s had a hard time in her career” disclaimers since there’s plenty of meta on that already, and instead follow the effects of this tendency: not on others, this time, but on her

(This got absurdly long and covers so many episodes so I’m going to split it into separate pre- and post-bullet surgery posts)

Rewinding a bit, the last time she was at the Institute, she was starting to get along with Jon before he seemed confused about her comment on “the other Sasha.”  It takes her a split second to interpret that confusion as him suddenly deciding to gaslight and mock her, gets angry and tells him there is something seriously wrong with him, and leaves before he can ask what she means.  Given how tenuous their truce was and the fact she and Jon had mocked each other in the past, it’s an outburst that at least has some personal history behind it.

But only a couple episodes later, we learn that it’s not just Jon she responds to in this way.  In TMA 84, she meets our Martin Blackwood!  Customer service voice opposite-of-Jon politeness extraordinaire!  And as soon as he gets confused about the two Sasha comment, she.......immediately assumes that HE is also trying to gaslight her.  She insists that “I’m not doing this again” without giving him a chance to ask or explain, so they miss the opportunity to piece together the deal with the Not!Sasha.  Her doing this with someone she just met shows a much broader pattern than her interactions with Jon.

That very episode, Elias offers Melanie a job, and she accepts despite Martin’s protests.  Later, she accuses them all of them being an “old boy’s club” because she interpreted Martin’s warnings as sexism rather than trying to protect her.  As the audience, we see the unreliable narrator of her perspective at work: we know that Jon and Martin were genuinely confused, and we know that Martin was trying to save her, and that all of these instances were her seeing it as people being out to get her.

Hop forward to the notorious gossip scene in TMA 106.  Here, Melanie complains about Martin being hostile to her.  My first assumption was that this was all offscreen, but after this parade of misinterpretation and comparing to her and Martin’s actual interactions, I have to wonder:

TMA 84, after Martin tells Melanie about the murder, and right before Elias interrupts:

Martin:  Are you sure you’re alright?

Melanie:  Yes!  I just got… God, I’m kind of at the end, you know?

Martin:  The end of what?

Melanie:   Everything.  Friends, clues, savings. Everything.  Options.  There’s nowhere left for me to go . I don’t know why, but…  I just, I just felt that perhaps coming here might help.  And talking things out with Jon.  I mean, I mean he’s awful, but at least he listens, you know?

Martin:   (soft) Yeah.  ...I’m sorry.  Um, is there anything that I could, like, maybe...do for you?

They get interrupted immediately after this, so this was the first impression Melanie was given.  Then, when Elias offers the job, she...assumes Martin’s “I don’t think that’s a good idea” is from sexism, when he’d just been talking about murders and disappearances that caused that very job opening.

TMA 88 

Melanie:   Are you alright?

Martin:  Yeah… Sorry, just a lot of change recently, y’know.  You and John and Sasha and… everything’s gone a bit wrong.  It’s the not knowing, you know?  I mean, Jon’s still alive.  Not sure why, but I’m sure of that.  But Sasha, I…

Melanie:   Yes, it’s… it’s probably, um…

Martin:   Sorry, sorry, I’m...  What do you need?

Next interaction!  Oh this one HURTS.  Martin takes her question literally, and starts telling her why she’s not alright, a reverse of their earlier exchange.  But Melanie came by for a question and wasn’t prepared for an honest answer, so Martin quickly reels it in and asks what he can do for her once again.

Skipping forward a bit in that same scene:

Martin:   Oh, you weren’t here when we took the place over from Gertrude!  It’s been over a year just to get it like this.  I mean, I think the database was on Jon’s list, but--

Melanie:  So how do you track someone down?

Martin:   Oh, oh well, y’know, we’ve a few contacts in various record offices around the place.  Aside from that it’s just… just a bit of detective work, really.  Tim used to do a great line in impersonating people to utility companies!  Heh, the number of times he got them to give him ‘his own’ address--

Melanie:  Right, right… Um, this one, the name is 'Jude Perry.’ Doesn’t mean anything to you, does it?

I LOVE THIS EXCHANGE.  I TREASURE IT.  Having bottled up his emotions, Martin is going in full Friendly Helpful Coworker mode.  There are so many little details here signaling that he’s embracing her as part of the team, sharing anecdotes about Tim’s shenanigans and Jon’s old plans, looping her in as One of Them as he helps her get what she needs.  This is the kind of approach you go to management trainings to get, to help new hires feel welcome and part of things.  But alas, Melanie is in a hurry and wants to cut to the chase, so all this is lost on her.

TMA 98 - I won’t copy it all in here because it’s long, but this is an overwhelmingly positive interaction.  She asks if he’s okay, but he bottles it up and says he’s fine.  This time, she presses, and he admits it’s because of the statements.  Martin ends up asking for help!! and Melanie agrees!  She’s on the way to murder Elias, but she still gets credit for “I’ll ask him to cut you some slack.”  Then she invites him to drinks!

And then.... TMA 106

Melanie:   Anyway, Martin’s always been lovely to you.

Basira:  Hmm. I don’t know, I mean, you should have seen him when I turned up last year. I think he thought I was trying to steal his precious Archivist.

Melanie:   Ahhh. I got the exact same when Jon was hiding out, and came to me with his “source on the inside” stuff.  Martin was not impressed.

WAIT WHAT

We just looked over all their interactions!  They were all soft and lovely and welcoming!!  But then we hear Melanie with “well unlike how he is to me, Martin is nice to you.”  This was taken at face value for years, but when you line up all of the above, I feel there is a strong basis to say this is another case of Melanie’s first impressions + over-defensiveness gone wrong.  Just like we saw her initial bickerings with Jon solidify into series-long hostility, her interpreting Martin’s confusion as gaslighting and warnings about the job as sexism seems to have doomed her opinion of him long-term.  We hear Martin being kind and concerned and welcoming, then hear Melanie contrast it as bad treatment.

Recently, a mutual considered this even further to how she talked about losing all of her friends with the Ghost Hunt UK circles:

Melanie:  Even back then, I could feel all my old friends starting to distance themselves from me. ...  I stopped asking the others for help, and I kept my research to myself. I talked to them less and less. By the time I was arrested, I think a lot of them had already given up on me.

I have to wonder...did this sort of dynamic play out here, too?  Did she assume that her friends’ concern was judgment or hostility?  Were they giving up on her, or did she lash out and push them away?  Either way, it’s easy to see parallels to s2 Jon in her description, here, with her withdrawing and diving alone into increasingly risky research without asking for help.  And s2 Jon definitely shared Melanie’s tendency to see offers for help and support as hostile.  (Aside:  I interpret her and Georgie as not very close at this point, like a networking contact rather than a friend; Melanie comes to Jon for someone to talk to about her struggles above her, and Georgie seems to be unaware of all of Melanie’s encounters pre-s3)

And on that downer note I am ending part 1...but PART 2 IS GOING TO BE WAY HAPPIER THAN THIS.  Here, we see Melanie with a lot of people who would have supported her if she let them:  Martin, Jon, possibly the friends she said abandoned her.  But in her effort to protect herself and not let history repeat for how she’d been hurt in the past, she ends up alone and spiraling.

[haberdashing]

Supplemental

TMA episode 200 spoilers ahead, beware!

Jon and Martin talk it out, after everything.

on AO3

Jon doesn’t know--or Know--where he is, when he wakes up. It’s an unusual sensation for him. The last time he hadn’t Known everything about his current location was... was probably back in Upton House, wasn’t it?

Fitting, that, in a way.

Jon hadn’t even known--or Known--that he would wake up after that, though, so that comes as something of a pleasant surprise, and the details don’t matter quite so much beyond that.

He’s not even in pain. It almost feels wrong not to be, after all that. Like he’d earned the pain with what he’d done.

Even without Knowing, however, Jon can sense a few things about his surroundings. Something small and thin kept brushing against his face and tickling his sides--blades of grass, perhaps? He was warm, and even with his eyes closed tight he could see the light seeping through his eyelids, the light bright and strong and steady. The ground was soft, cool, forgiving.

Jon opened his eyes. It was a beautiful day, wherever it was he had ended up. He was surrounded by a field of grass, and even after sitting up (gingerly, despite the lack of pain, partly because Jon was suddenly aware of how fragile his body was and partly because he still half-expected the pain to come rushing back at any moment) there was no end to the grassy field in sight save for the horizon. The sun was shining, with only a few small clouds threatening to block it. The weather was warm but not hot, neither especially dry nor especially humid, with a soft but clear breeze passing through.

But none of that mattered, really.

What actually mattered was that not far off, a single figure broke up the monotonous scenery, a figure that was achingly familiar.

“Martin?”

“Jon!”

A breath, a heartbeat, and the two of them were side-by-side, face-to-face, but before anything else, Jon knew (lower-case) what he had to say.

“I’m sorry.”

Jon hadn’t expected Martin to say the words almost in time with him.

Both of them began babbling, as if on cue.

“I just, I wanted to make sure you-”

“I know, I know, it’s just, after-”

“It’s okay, I understand-”

“No, no, it’s my-”

Jon took a deep breath and let it out, a hint of laughter sneaking into his sigh, which made Martin stop talking and gaze his way with a peculiar look on his face.

“Look, if we’re going to do this properly... perhaps we should take turns. Each of us say our piece and let the other do the same, without interruption.”

“Sure.” Martin nodded, the action strangely solemn. “I’ll go first, then?”

“No, no, I should start-”

“I’d rather get it done with, it’s fine-”

Jon let out another exhale, more a laugh than a sigh this time. “I doomed the world. I was going to- to extinguish it. I think I need to make the first apology here.”

Martin put his hands on his hips and shot Jon a pout that made his heart ache. “Well, I doomed lots of worlds, didn’t I? Thousands of them, didn’t Annabelle say? Including, I’d imagine, the one we’re in right now.”

“I mean, those worlds aren’t exactly doomed, not like-”

The look on Martin’s face was enough to make Jon fall silent. “Jon. Don’t even start with that. Not now. Not after all this.”

“...alright.”

Jon wrapped his fingers around a few stray blades of grass, looked over at them rather than up at Martin.

“Jon.” Martin was looking straight at Jon as he spoke, the eye contact almost enough to make him uncomfortable. Almost. “I’m so sorry. I should have listened to you, stopped the others from talking over you, from making a plan you couldn’t live with. I was selfish, I just- I couldn’t bear to stand back and watch the world die, to stand back and watch you die.”

Martin’s eyes were watering, and Jon didn’t hesitate before placing one hand on Martin’s cheek, ready to catch any tears that were about to fall.

“Hey, I thought we said no interruptions?”

Jon couldn’t help the smile sneaking onto his face, despite everything. “Is this an interruption?”

“...fair point.” Martin made a noise while letting out his breath, one somewhere in between a huff and a laugh. “I just... I- I shouldn’t have interfered. I’ve caused so much hurt in so many worlds now, and... and you were right, we should have let it end with our own. Instead, thanks to me, we got the- the worst of both worlds, so to speak.”

A moment passed in which the only sound to be heard was the wind flowing through the grass.

“Are you done, then?”

“I...” Martin looked away. “I guess so. It- it feels like there should be more, but... yeah, you can go ahead.”

“Alright then. My turn.”

Jon gathered his thoughts for a moment, wiped a stray tear off Martin’s face before settling his gaze somewhere around Martin’s forehead. Not quite enough eye contact to be unsettling, to be reminiscent of the Eye, but not looking away, either, not avoiding Martin’s reaction.

“I’m so sorry. I should have listened to you, to the others. I had no right to make my own decision, not when we had a plan that we’d made together, just because I got outvoted. I thought it was for the best, but... well, obviously I was wrong, and it hurt you most of all, I’m sure. If it hadn’t been for me, we could be celebrating with our friends, instead of being... wherever this is. We could be building a life together, after the end.”

“We can still build a life together, Jon.” Martin said.

“Now who’s making the interruptions?” Jon tried to keep his voice light, make it clear that he was merely joking, but based on how Martin’s face fell as he spoke, he hadn’t quite hit the mark there.

Jon still wasn’t looking Martin quite in the eye, but moving his thumb brushed away more tears that had started to fall.

“You...” Jon’s voice was soft, now, barely above a whisper. “You would still...? You aren’t...?”

“Look, we’ve got a lot more to talk about, but... I still love you, Jon. I’ll always love you. What happened in the Panopticon doesn’t change that. Nothing will.”

“...I still love you, too.”

The two kiss, just for a moment, brief and simple and pure as anything.

“So you don’t know where we are, then?” Martin’s tone was light, but Jon wasn’t fooled by it, not when he could still taste Martin’s saltwater tears on his lips.

“Not a clue. The Eye, it’s... gone.” Jon paused for a moment, half-expecting the Eye to come roaring back upon being mentioned, but no. “I... I think there are fears here, but it’s not the same, they’re not the same.”

“That’s got to be an odd feeling, after all that.”

Jon snorted out a laugh, but Martin wasn’t the only one with tears falling anymore. “You’re telling me.”

Martin took Jon’s hand in his, brushed his thumb against Jon’s palm. “Well, then. Figuring that out can be the first order of business.”

“Right. And, and about the whole worlds being doomed thing-”

Martin’s eyes turned cold and distant, just for a split second, just for long enough to make Jon’s heart sink. “You don’t get to switch sides on that now, Jon.”

“No, that’s not... what I mean is, we’re in one of those worlds now. Whatever happens, let’s make sure this one doesn’t end up like the last one. alright?”

“As long as we’re working together on it.”

Martin squeezed Jon’s hand, and Jon squeezed his right back.

“Of course. Working with you, side by side, to stop the fears... I couldn’t imagine a better way to spend the rest of my life.”

[rosered2018]

TMA: Statements End

The journey is done.

The final battle is over, and their victory is pyrrhic at best. Jon is probably dead, and Martin most likely is, too, and if they aren't, they're at least together.

Unfortunately, the Fears have escaped and are loose in the multiverse.

So. Analysis.

I think in the last episode, the reason Jon let Georgie, Melanie, Basira and Martin talk over his head the way he did was because he'd already decided what he was going to do, and was trying to get them on board with it.

He knew for a hard, cold fact that if he took down Jonah Magnus that he would take his place, and that he could end the world and starve out the Fears. He knew that any hope Martin (and the rest of us) had for a happy ending were slim to nonexistent at best, and that his plan was the only one that could end the apocalypse and not endanger the rest of the multiverse.

What amazed me was the level of strength Jon showed in this. I know we talk about Martin being the strong one, but Jon went in knowing full well what he needed to do and he did it. I think when he got the shots in for Sasha, Tim, and Gertrude was one of the most satisfying moments in the show.

And the conversation with Martin was one of the most heartbreaking. Martin's goal was to save their world and Jon. Jon's goal was to destroy the Fears. If it meant destroying the world in the process, so be it.

I'm fairly sure that Jon probably told Martin what he was planning to do, and they likely did argue the subject, which would explain why Martin wasn't surprised that Jon left early to kill Jonah. And both he and Martin knew that if they did kill Jonah, Jon would get pulled into Jonah's place as the Eye's Pupil.

I think Jon was telling the truth when he said that it was still him when Martin found him. The Panopticon wasn't built for Jonah, but Jon was able to handle it and hang onto the seeming of his humanity. Whether he actually was or not is debatable, and will likely be debated until Jonny himself answers the question one way or another.

But I think during the last part of the conversation, Jon was never more human than there. All that mattered to him in that moment was Martin Blackwood and whether they would be together after it was done.

I like to think they were. They didn't get their marriage and a chance to build a life, but they were together.

The story ended with as much hope as was possible given the circumstances.

That being said, thank you, Mr. Sims. You told a brilliant tale, and it was a wild ride from beginning to end. I'm looking forward to your next project.

[ashes-in-a-jar]

Tma relisten Episodes 6-10

(Still really long)

Alot of really important details that are going to be very relevant later on. Very facinating how early on you find these out. Relistens are good.

Episode 6 squirm

It's a good thing tma doesn't do much of sexual encounters and their connection to entities. While I'm sure that's a thing that in any realistic universe would exist avoiding it was a good choice. This statement was *shudder*

Interesting that she had no visible mark on her. Also being repulsed by police stations because the sectioned officers could have helped.

Naked in the streets after lighting his apartment on fire. What an image.

So technically the worms were in the archives 3 times: when Jane made her first statement, when Timothy hodge made his and when Jane attacked. The worms are very familiar with the magnus institute.

"This story is concerning. Not because of Mr. Hodge’s experience, although I’m sure it was very upsetting." ace Jon talking very technical about "experiences"

" though obviously it’s a tragic loss of life, etcetera, etcetera." Jon being Jon.

Ecdc are aware of Jane and corruption typical attacks which is off the bat interesting world building.

He's skeptic here because of lack of evidence but does admit the existence of a threat in Jane Prentiss

Also! He knows of her from before probably when he was a researcher. This confused me on first listen because I was trying to remember if she was ever mentioned before this. But she wasn't.

Episode 7 the piper

Wilfred kind of sounds like martin in some way but maybe it's just me assigning poetry to anyone like him.

But he hated apathy which might be very Martin like

Gentle sadness and creeping fear from the music. For violence of war... Is that what it means to immortalize it?

It's really cool that the concept of music in this podcast is associated specifically with war and unwarranted violence. There's a very strong statement in there somewhere that needs to be explored.

God this statement was intense. Lying for such a long time in that trench surrounded by violent death. But what's most interesting is that this statement doesn't feel like a supernatural one and yet... The piper was with Wilfred throughout the various battles and bouts of violence until the moment it was officially over. But in a very subtle way.

The description of the piper is really intense with the 3 faces. I think I missed it the first time but hearing that representation of war and fear is something I'm going to look for in artistic depictions now.

Wait. Who is Joseph Rayner? I know of Maxwell but never heard of Joseph.a victim instead of Wilfred? Collaborator with the Slaughter? Hmmm

I wonder how Accidental it was that the statement from 1922 was filed in the 2000s. Maybe to show that the piper never really leaves and the war never really ends. Ever.

Episode 8 burned out

Wow Hilltop Road already! I forgot how many of the first episodes were so important to the plot later on.

"That side of the road backed onto South Park with fences marking the bottom of each garden." this is wrong btw. Hilltop Road in Oxford does not run along Sount Park but is perpendicular to it, meeting it in the corner with Divinity Road which meets with Morrell Avenue which is the road running along South Park. Just FYI because I had to look this up to get a good picture. But I guess Morrell doesn't sound as exciting as Hilltop (which isn't even at the top of the hill smh)

Ivo lensik describes Raymond fielding as white which makes me automatically think he is not. Just a thought that popped in my mind.

Huh. His family had a history of schizophrenia. And his dad was obsessed with fractals. Being followed by The spiral (all the bones are in his hands) was also part of this story really interesting.

Agnes had mousy brown hair and looked like Raymond! Not red hair ( at least at first) like I pictured. Also she was a hell of a creepy child...

So did he time travel? Seeing the moments of Raymond's end? Seems like time doesn't work right in that place anyway.

Web person being devout church goer is also an interesting touch

Father Edwin Burroughs! I forgot he was here too! The knock reminded me of Mr Spider *shiver*

The priest explaining that the church exorcized demons but what not decisive if ghosts exist was hilarious. Jon dismisses paranormal but asks Martin if he's a ghost is opposite of the church.

Hmmm the web pushing him to cut the tree to uncover box from antique table...

Apple full of spiders ugh. Maybe something web was trapped in there by Desolation and ivo managed free it as Agnes was dying.

"We cannot prove any connection, but Martin unearthed a report on an Agnes Montague, who was found dead in her Sheffield flat on the evening of November 23rd 2006, the same day Mr. Lensik claims to have uprooted the tree." wow that's an obscure thing to find well done Martin!

Jon still looks for credence for this story despite the schizophrenia that could leave him skeptical.

"while I trust Mr. Lensik’s testimony of his own experiences about as far as I can throw a bleeding tree," again Jon with his special brand of jokes.

Episode 9 a Father's love

The Montauk's story! I always thought their family had one of the most tragic ones. The hunt is a really cruel patron with its forced hunger and having other entities use them as tools.

Julia telling the truth of the story to the Magnus Institute instead of the police is also heartbreaking. How desperate and alone she must have felt drowned in that awful literally unbelievable story. The magnus institute feeds off of those people too.

So many of the hunt end up in police it's just... Such a strong statement against that establishment. What do we do to make that less of a horrible, unjust, all consuming system? That feeds on the hunger of some and the abject fear of others? And it doesn't have to be supernatural. It's interesting how season five, of all seasons, is the one that gave us that perspective. The non supernatural one on the subject while the world itself is so far away from the natural. God everything about this idea is so heavy and painful.

I kind of hate Julia's fate because of her background and how much alot of its beginning was out of her control. It's like Daisy. The hunt can never be forgiven no matter how compulsive it is.

The dark that took her mother turned her into part of it? Like the dark liquid?

A dark room to develop his photos of his victims huh? A play on words here.

Oooh they put a heartbeats in the soundscape really cool actually.

So Montauk killed other dark members that tried to leave? For the ritual? Like Julia's mother?

The hunt compelled him to keep the hearts as trophies? which is very self destructive of the hunt to do. Or is it part of the dark ritual with the sacrifices that the heart had to be kept?

I think Montauk was trying to slow down the ritual as revenge that night, rendering the sacrifices he helped create useless. Which is why pitch came after them that night and dissappeared once Montauk finished his ritual.

Sourcing the Serial killer enthusiast community. Love that the archives use whatever source of info they can access.

So Maxwell dissappeared in 1994 from public eye land yet the cult kept working towards a ritual. But now in secret? Their timeline always confused me.

Episode 10 vampire killer

I never noticed Trevor came right after Julia! Oooh this is so much connecting the dots so early on!

Vampires are so disturbing here makes you ever wonder how the hell media like twilight were ever created. But hehe the monster ****er community has always been a vibrant one. Not these vampires tho.

Trevor is so sassy I love his statements. Like Julia it really makes me sad how consumed he became at the end and how awful his death was. Once again the tragedy of the Hunt.

"I taught myself to read, I read as much on the subject as I could, and it isn’t covered often or clearly in those books I have found." can you imagine what kinds of books he might have found during the sexy vampire Era? This is a hilarious picture to paint.

So vampires feed off of blood and not fear which is an interesting creature to have in this kind of universe. Although hunters are also like that but there is still alot of fear and awareness involved with that while the vampires try to conceal themselves until the last moment.

There's alot of mosquito imagery in these vampires which is... Ugh

Also interesting how many time Trevor just uses the vampire's full name. Never shortened and never talked about in another title. Sylvia McDonald this Sylvia McDonald that. Also the other vampire. They always had a name that was psychicly imposed on the victims to be remembered fully. Very Stranger behavior.

Ahhhh the one vampire weakness... Drrrugs.

It's also very flammable which sets interesting precedence to setting unnatural things on fire to make them disappear.

Alard dupont comes in a later statement right? Yeah in 56

Martin was there when the statement was given which was 2010 and in 2016 he's 29 so he worked there for a while! At least since age 23 perhaps we'll find out even earlier. And he was still scared to be found under qualified after all this time! Oof...

I wonder how draining it is to give a statement that it kills someone who is sick.

The government is in on this! Looking for the teeth Trevor gave the institute... Somehow that strikes me as hilarious in the world building of this podcast. And it really leaves Jon no choice but to concede that there is something to the statement even if he refuses to use the term vampire like Trevor did so freely.

[mspainttaz]

Sell me on TMA i have all the time in the world rn by my executive dysfunction refuses to start things without help.

first off i really feel the struggle youre having here starting new things is. awful. i just cant tbh

okay: why to listen to TMA, under a cut because why not.

tldr? its good quality, low emotional investment is demanded of you to start due to the simple nature of its algorithm and the gradual story/world building, the writing is interesting and the episodes are short with good atmosphere. if spooky gets to you too badly, dont worry because theres a trigger warning list somewhere on the internet, and the writing is respectful.

tma selling points:

its good and consistent quality from the beginning. its a simple answer but honestly the hardest part of getting into new stuff FOR ME is the first few episodes where im Put Off by trying to understand this new tone, all while the creators are still figuring out what theyre doing which... makes for a rough start sometimes.

tma has a very simple algorithm. dude named jonathan sims is working at a place that collects peoples accounts of “possibly supernatural encounters”, he’s recording himself reading off the story, (or its a recording direct from the person), he tells you what research they’ve done on the subject, the end. here and there you get to hear about the stuff thats going on at the place jon works at, building a second layer of storytelling to the whole thing. its fun, its easy to listen to, and 

you dont have to get super invested right away. just turn on this podcast where they, in like idk twenty minutes?? tell you about something Scary that happened to Someone Else and that has no effect on you or your life but still has all the chilling atmosphere and Very good writing that makes it an enjoyable time. i mean YEAH it gets scarier and more personal later but by then youre ready for it.

this one is a personal note but, like, i get it. its intimidating seeing the fandom being So Passionate because it gives the message that you too!! have to gear up to get super into this wonderful fantastic compelling emotional heartbreaking story uwu. nothing wrong with fandom being passionate thats....... what its there for...... but that specifically has made it hard for me to get into new things before.

just let yourself enjoy it at your own pace tbh. i really enjoyed it before i got overwhelmed by fandom stuff and took a very long break but like. block all the tma tags, hit play,and have fun. thats my advice.

you get to hear someone try to sound spooky while reading off the required licencing info at the end of the podcast and its pretty funny but endearing

the writing is good. the voice acting is good. jonny sims knows his stuff and he really enjoys what he does and it comes out in what he creates.

if you dont like one or more of the stories/statements? look up the triggers list for the episodes to get mostly spoiler free warnings. or skip the statement part of the episodes you dont Vibe With and just listen to the bits at the end where you get to hear about jonathan sims and friends wacky adventures. yes the creator is named jon sims and the person he voices in this podcast is also named jon sims. sorry.

others have said this but i will too: its respectful horror. 

no sexual assault, misogyny, racism, able-ism, homophobia, etc is used as a punchline or as the shock factor. aka the main reason i dont care about the comedy or horror or... lots of other movie genres. its just not funny. literally the first statement that even mentions sex is this guy going “yeah we were both totally on board but she seemed to be going through some personal stuff and so i kept checking she was cool with it, i wanted to be respectful” and then cutaway to afterwards.

or like. theres a statement with a characters with a skin picking disorder WHICH is like. hm. a triggering topic for a lot of people but also my favorite statement there is. as someone with a skin picking disorder, i was Not Expecting to have to confront This Subject and so was a little taken aback at first like. no one talks about this stuff yanno. but i personally didnt find it disrespectful, or misinformed, or too triggering. which. idk man good for jonny for making that Work.

executive dysfunction hates starting new things like oil and water so if you dont listen to it because your brain simply is Not ready to lease space to a new podcast yet? thats cool too. if you do though i hope you enjoy it because its a good podcast and it makes you think which like, right now? i think we could all use more stuff in our lives that keeps our brains active and thinking. 

[radiosandrecordings]

Rare TMA criticism here but I... actually really dislike the Dark Sun Arc. I just don’t think it works. To me it feels kind of shoehorned into the plot with no real impact. Season 4 gave Jon five new fear scars alone (arguably seven if you count waking up from the Beholding Coma as Beholding and End and being in that season as opposed to 3)

And Dark is the only one I felt had no real place being there. From a broader story perspective it just felt like it served absolutely no purpose other than to get Jon that mark. It took ONE episode! There was barely a build up. It didn’t build the universe by telling us what other countries were doing with fears besides Manuela, it didn’t have Jon and Basira grow as a team, it didn’t really give us anything, not even concrete character development since even the statement taken on the boat wasn’t the only one Jon had taken from a random person.

I know Jonny said he finds it hard to write stuff for the Dark but I just felt this was... a bad way of doing it. Especially since they never elabroate on what a fucking ‘Dark Sun’ is. Like what does that even mean. What was it’s whole deal that sounds complicated and it gets a single episode dedicated to it! It was in the show for the same amount of time as ‘Dude who stapled meat to his wall’!

Also ‘Dark Sun?’ The antithesis of a Sun? Really? Bold words from a man who won’t accept Tube Sun

[bubonickitten]

TMA fic: where there’s a will, we make a way

Decided to start writing a multi-chapter time travel AU fic to get me through S5, lmao. 

Cross-posted to AO3 here.

ETA: Chapter 2 is up. (tumblr // AO3)

Summary:

"So, what does happen if an Eye learns to See within itself? What happens is this: the Archive Beholds the Watcher – and the Watcher blinks first." Or: Jon goes back to before the world ended and tries to forge a different path.

CWs for Chapter 1: canon-typical horror & sadness; canon-typical spiders; mentions of canon-typical trauma (including being held captive by the Circus); (temporary) major character death/absence; spoilers up to and including MAG 169.

And, a couple things from the top:

For this chapter and the next, Jon's dialogue will consist entirely of statements from the episodes (cited in the end notes), but he'll have original dialogue at some point (probably by chapter 3).

TEMPORARY CHARACTER DEATH/ABSENCE: Martin's absence is left intentionally vague (and there are moments in the first couple chapters of Jon grieving for him), BUT I promise Martin will be back (probably by chapter 3 or 4 once I figure out how I want to pace things). Time travel is great like that.

The first couple chapters will be rough but I promise it won't be all bummers going forward.

___________________________________________

Chapter 1: Hubris

At the end of the world, as a tape recorder clicks on, uncountable eyes open wide and the Archive begins to speak.

  “There is a tower at the center of creation.

 "It juts up from the scorched earth, casting its oppressive shadow over all, so certain of its rightful place in this world. But although it may appear sturdy and eternal, it is, like everything else in this place, decaying – more slowly than the rest, but moving inexorably toward its own extinction all the same.

  “In the dying light of a ruined world, it Watches over all that crawls and chokes and blinds and falls and twists and leaves and hides and weaves and burns and hunts and rips and leads and dies. For now, it is sated and gorged on the fear permeating its perfect world – but what happens when the fear runs out? There will come a time when each pinprick of life blinks out around it, one by one, taunting it with the dreadful knowledge of its ultimate, encroaching fate: a slow, agonizing death of boredom and isolation and starvation. 

  “And it will hurt.

  "Nothing lasts forever, but rest assured: the tower will be the last thing standing, wilting alone in a barren and desiccated realm of its own making.

  “It will be outlived only by death itself, and even then, only for the briefest of moments.

  “The tower is a monument to hubris, and as such, it is destined to collapse.”

 The recorder clicks off and Jonathan Sims comes back to himself, standing alone before the menacing bulk of the Panopticon.

 The statement was shorter than he's used to, but it isn't surprising – he can't See much here, in the Watcher's domain. Still, it took a lot out of him. He barely has time to take a breath, though, before a familiar door opens up in the ground just in front of him, its yellow paint chipped and faded. The Distortion’s ringing laughter ripples up from the ground and Jon closes his eyes, sighs heavily, and counts to ten.

 “No ‘hello’ for me, Archivist?” Helen pulls herself up and out of her door to loom over him. “You’ve become quite rude these past few… how long has it been?”

 Shaking his head, Jon readjusts the straps of his backpack and starts to walk. Helen, of course, prowls after him. Her gait seems different, Jon realizes, and when he trains his sight on her – yes, apparently she’s added an extra kneecap to her left leg. She watches him with a mischievous sparkle in her eyes, daring him to comment on her latest modification, but he’s learned by now that it’s best not to encourage the Distortion.

 “That was a rather short monologue for you. I very much doubt your patron will be satiated.”

 “Oh, how I wish he’d go away,”  Jon mutters under his breath. The pronoun is wrong, but it still gets the point across, and Helen is familiar enough with his current mode of communication to catch his meaning.

 “Still voiceless, are we? It must be very frustrating for you. Reduced to rifling through others’ trauma, forced to appropriate someone else’s terror any time you want to talk. It really is a shame your lexicon is so… limited. You’ve always had such a lovely voice. It seems a waste to deny it any novelty.”

  Ignore her. Count to ten. Breathe.

 “Silent treatment?” Helen pouts. “Well, that’s fine. I can speak enough for the both of us.”

 Jon wishes he could comment on the irony of It Is Lies telling the truth, but the Archive doesn’t offer up any fitting statements. Probably for the best, really; as a rule, he tries not to let Helen rile him. Tries being the key word.

 “Off to see the Watcher? I do wonder how our dear Jonah is doing these days. You’re curious too, aren’t you? You can’t See anything in there. You have no idea what you’re walking into.” Helen’s lips curl in a too-wide smile. “That must drive you mad.”

 Jon ignores her. Even if he had something to say, he expects he would be speechless at the moment, beholding the Panopticon. The tower bears no resemblance to the Magnus Institute he remembers. It’s the tallest thing left in the wasteland, now; standing at its base and looking up, it’s impossible to estimate exactly how high it stretches. He could Know, but he doesn’t care to. (The Eye bristles at his refusal to ask the question; Jon dismisses it with an almost childish defiance.)

 All of the surrounding buildings have been reduced to dust and rubble, and there is no remaining evidence of there ever having been a street. The composition of the tower's walls is entirely obscured by a viscous coating of –

  …aqueous humor, grave dirt, assorted viscera, sawdust, flensed dermis, dental pulp, spider silk…

 – Jon closes his eyes and shoves the Knowledge away with a practiced resolve. Its content is no more unsettling than anything else he’s encountered, but even after all this time, having the Beholding hijack his thoughts is still nauseating. He had experienced intrusive thoughts long before becoming the Archivist, but Knowing takes the experience to an entirely different level.

 After the moment has passed, Jon opens his eyes again. He can’t tell if the tower no longer has windows, or if they’re just hidden by the horror cocktail smothering its exterior. He supposes it doesn’t really matter either way; the Watcher doesn’t need windows to See outside.

 The staircase stretching to the entrance is impossibly long, and the stairs are of the narrow, shallow variety that never accommodate anyone’s stride. Jon sighs as he places one foot on the bottom step.

 “That looks like an awfully long climb,” Helen observes. “And a tripping hazard. I would offer you a shortcut, but… well, you know.” She winks and flashes him a wicked grin just as her door materializes beneath her feet, dropping her down into a vertical corridor. “See you at the top, Archivist,” she calls cheerfully, her door slamming behind her and vanishing.

 Jon rolls his eyes and ascends the stairs.

___________________________________________

The enormous doors to the tower are already open when Jon reaches the top of the steps. The moment he crosses the threshold, he is bathed in a blinding white light and every one of his eyes reflexively snaps shut. One by one, the extra eyes he has grown so accustomed to wink out of existence until finally, for the first time in forever, he has just the two he was born with. It’s jarring, having his hundredfold, 360-degree sight so suddenly reduced back to a binocular field of vision, but it feels oddly freeing.   

 At the same time, he doesn’t quite know what to make of it. Does the Watcher want him at a disadvantage? Is there something inherent to the Panopticon that allows only the Ceaseless Watcher itself to See, rendering all others – even its Archive – effectively blind? What if - 

 “Look at you!” Helen chirps directly into his ear, cackling when he startles. “My, you spook easily, Archivist. Not very becoming for one who Sees all and revels in the terror he has wrought –”

 Jon is already walking away. The light isn’t as overwhelming as it was before, but he still has to squint against it. As far as he can see, the interior of the tower is a flat expanse of white. He can't perceive any walls, ceiling, even a floor, making it impossible to guess the size of the place – or if it has an end at all.

 “Do you actually Know where you’re going?”

 “I was finding it really hard to get a solid idea on where we were,”  Jon admits.

 “Yes. It’s quite like the tunnels, isn’t it? You never could See down there, either. What did you call it – ‘a universal blind spot’? Strange, how your voyeurism touches everything except your own domain.”

 “I come to you not to wallow in my condition – but to request your assistance.”  Helen hasn’t been any help in ages, but Jon figures it’s worth a try.

 Helen simply laughs. “What assistance could I possibly offer? You are the most powerful thing the apocalypse has to offer, Archivist. Aside from the Entities themselves, that is. I’m certain you can figure it out on your own. As I’ve told you so many times, all you have to do is embrace it.” Jon glares at her. “Now, as much as I would love to stay and watch you get terribly lost, I believe there are more interesting things going on in the world.”

 With that, her door swings open on the ground in front of her.

 “I thanked them as they left, even though they had been of no help whatsoever,”  Jon grumbles to himself. 

 “You are tetchy today,” Helen teases. “Well, I’ll check back in with you later.”

 She steps off the ledge and plummets down through her door again, pulling it shut after her.

 Jon pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs. It’s incredible how after all this time, even a short encounter with the Distortion leaves him feeling drained.

 But she did have a point. He never could See in the tunnels, but that was before he became the Archive. As he is now, he probably has a better chance of finding his way than Helen would. It’s just that doing so is bound to be… unpleasant. No use putting it off, though.

 He closes his eyes, looks inward, opens the door, and –

 A churning deluge of information crashes into him, sweeping him along in its undertow, and all at once, he’s drowning.

  …the equatorial circumference of Jupiter was 439,263.8 kilometres before it was devoured by the ravenous Falling Titan…

  …Mr. Spider has taken up residence behind innumerable doors – not every door, but any door. It has an average of one guest for dinner every 39 minutes and still it is hungry… 

  …the Sandman and the Buried wage war over scraps within the catacombs of Paris, now located approximately 6,294.2 kilometres below creation and sinking…

  …as of 23.8 seconds ago, the Crawling Rot and the Lightless Flame have completed their race to consume the endless apartment block located at the corner of Nowhere and –

 Jon shakes his head and tries to refine his search.

  Tell me about Jonah Magnus.

  …Jonah Magnus was born in –

 Tell me where I can find Jonah Magnus.

  …Jonah Magnus is –

 A wave of force crashes into Jon like a freight train and then he’s back in the white space, eyes open, gasping for air and struggling to fill his aching lungs.

 It comes as no surprise that the Ceaseless Watcher doesn’t want him to Know the way, but if the Eye didn’t want to be Seen, it should have picked someone less inquisitive. Or less stubborn.

 He takes a deep breath, steels himself, and dives back in.

  …in a hollowed-out sanctuary of bone and gristle, the Boneturner scavenges uselessly for –

  Tell me where to find Jonah Magnus.

 A harsh buzz of static starts to ring in his ears.

  …the Distortion in its corridors waits for –

  Show me how to reach Jonah Magnus.

 The static pitches up into a shrill whine.

  …Martin Blackwood’s last –

  A̵N̴S̸W̴E̸R̶ ̷M̷E̷.̷

 The noise reaches an earsplitting crescendo, then cuts out abruptly and –

 When the Archive opens its myriad eyes, it Knows the way.

___________________________________________

Once the Knowledge settles in his mind, it's as if a veil has been lifted; the empty, directionless white void resolves itself into perceptible details. Jon finds himself standing in a cavernous, cylindrical space. Countless iron-barred prison cells are recessed into weathered red-brick walls, stacked vertically one on top of the other and stretching all the way up to an impossibly high vaulted ceiling covered in… cobwebs.

 Of course. It figures the Web would have infiltrated this place. In fact, it had probably staked out its territory when the initial foundations for Millbank Prison were laid and had simply never left. 

 Jon shudders and looks away. Or tries to, anyway – there are always a few recalcitrant eyes that linger on the things he does not want to See.    

 He turns his attention to the observation tower. Its looming presence seems to take up the entire room, radiating a palpable sense of dread. There is nowhere in this world that its gaze cannot reach, but being this close to it is nearly unbearable.

 It hurts.

 Jon forces himself to stand there, to experience and endure the sheer weight of its omniscient scrutiny concentrated wholly on him. This is what it’s like to be Seen by the Archive, and Jon needs to Know how it feels – how it felt when he turned the Ceaseless Watcher’s gaze upon the monsters he met on the journey to the Panopticon.

 And it hurts.

 It’s like having his consciousness torn to shreds, every memory and thought and experience comprising his existence ripped out of him, pinned under a microscope, dissected with precision, classified and then hoarded away by a dispassionate curator. It’s sharp angles and blinding lights and throat-rending screams and scalding heat; it’s burrowing worms and scalpel blades and crushing earth and cold plastic hands; it’s fear and pain and love and loss and it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts –  

 Jon’s knees give out and he crumples to the floor, panting, resting his head in his twitching hands as the aftershocks of white-hot pain ripple through him. He lets himself roll over onto his side and curl into a fetal position while he waits for the tremors to stop.

 Martin wouldn’t have approved, but Jon had to Know. He had to Know what it was like, if the monsters he killed deserved it, if the punishment was proportionate to the crime, and –

 They did and it was. He can confidently say that each sentence he handed out was justified, and it’s somewhat of a relief.

 Beyond that, though, experiencing it firsthand was the best way he could think to fully appreciate the consequences of allowing his potential to go unchallenged and unrestrained, and to make clearer the distinction between Jonathan Sims, the Watched and the Archive, the Watcher – or conduit of the Watcher, at least. If nothing else, the memory of it will be an anchor going forward – a searing reminder of how much is at stake and the ultimate cost should his plan fail. 

 And, of course, it was also an effective way to assess the power he has at his disposal, to determine whether he’s strong enough for his plan to work. He did survive it, at least, which seems like a good sign. Hopefully it's a good sign.

 As the pain fades to a dull ache, he pushes himself to his feet and takes a minute to compose himself before entering the observation tower. He has not come eye to eye with Jonah Magnus since before the world ended, before he forced himself through the domains of each and every fear that marked him, before he completed his metamorphosis. That was the point of the journey, he realizes now: reliving the terror and retracing every mark was necessary for him to emerge as the fully-fledged Archive.

 He hopes it was all worth it.

 Jon takes a deep breath, braces himself, and crosses the threshold.

___________________________________________

 Jonah Magnus is a pitiful sight.

 He sits slumped on the Watcher’s throne within his lonely observation tower, ropes of spider silk binding him in place. The look in his eyes when he beholds his Archive is entirely unreadable, and Jon doesn’t care to Know. 

 Well – his two original eyes, in any case. The other eyes bulging through Jonah’s skin – bloodshot, rolling and twitching in all directions, and glowing a repellent shade of green – belong to the Watcher, and all they contain is a cold, measured fascination. Jon wonders absently whether they might cluster beneath the skin as well, a fitting mirror of Albrecht von Closen’s gruesome fate. Martin would have appreciated the poetic justice of that thought.

 Jon takes a step forward.

  “I don’t think I’ll ever know what they expected to happen.”

 The Archive’s voice rips through the silence like a clap of thunder on a clear day. There is something of a command threaded through the words, a power that brooks no argument and permits no lies. Jonah flinches at the force of it, and Jon takes that as his cue to continue; he has Jonah’s full attention now.

 “It’s weird, isn’t it, the things that can change your life?” Jon wonders, briefly, how Tim would feel about his statement being repurposed like this. Hopefully he would approve, seeing the way Elias – Jonah – is rendered silent and cowed in its wake, even if Jon’s voice is the vehicle. Either way, stolen words are Jon’s only option, and so he presses on: “You can plan for all the devastating, terrible possibilities you can imagine, and it’ll always be those tiny, unexpected things that get you. You know, the things that you never even noticed as they were happening, just… just nudging everything into motion. But even if there was a way I could have known, I really don’t think I’d be able to have stopped him.”

 When Jonah opens his mouth as if to speak, Jon catches a glimpse of a roving eye sprouting from Jonah’s tongue. What comes out is not words, but a small spider, creeping languidly over his lip and up his cheek, as if summoned by the Archive’s mere mention of manipulation. Even from a distance, Jon can See all eight of its eyes focus on him.

 The Spider perches there, patient and waiting. Whether she is issuing an invitation, a challenge, or simple, curious observation, the Archive does not know, and Jon will not waste his energy searching for the answer.

 Curiosity always was Jonathan Sims’ fatal flaw. It can be an asset in small doses, but Jon habitually took it to endangering and self-destructive extremes. By now he has learned how to wield that curiosity with precision, patience, and careful calculation. It was a lesson hard won and at great cost, but now he knows: there is a difference between a constructive avenue of inquiry and a dead end. One leads to answers that need knowing; the other only sates the Eye’s voracious appetite and leaves Jon adrift and wanting. The trick is to prioritize – which means accepting the existence of questions that aren’t worth asking.

 The Eye balks at an unsolved mystery, and the Archive’s every instinct drives Jon to seek, to ask, to know at any and all costs – but this is not the first time he has weathered the dueling instincts of Archive, Archivist, and human, and it will not be the last. If he stands in the crossfire long enough, breathes through the dissonance, and allows himself to simply exist as the strange, contradictory gestalt his apotheosis has made him… eventually, he can find the quiet.

 In any case, the Archive’s eyes outnumber the Spider’s by far, and Jon meets her gaze with a resolve that still feels new and untested, but unyielding nonetheless. Neither of them blink, but the Spider does eventually – slowly, so slowly – crawl away and out of sight.

 A stalemate. Jon expected nothing more or less; these confrontations with the Web never have a satisfying conclusion, only a protracted, stop-and-start hiatus. 

 When Jon feels the Spider’s presence fade away, he lets out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. For all his bravado, the fear never has gone away. He suspects that the Eye would never give him the choice in the first place. It isn’t enough to Know or See the contents of his library – he has to live them, feel them, share in them, or else the knowledge is not comprehensive. The Beholding requires more than facts and words and retellings. It demands the insight and dread that comes only from lived experience, and it has no use for an Archive that cannot fully experience its own catalog.

 If Jon was given the choice, though, he still wouldn’t give up the fear. It’s the fabric of this world, which makes it a reliable anchor as long as it exists. It tethers him to his humanity; it reminds him of his reason; it keeps him moving forward.

 And so, he approaches the Watcher’s throne, and the Archive resumes its recitation:

  “I continue to see in you the reflection of my own past hubris.”

 It’s a nice touch, Jon thinks, using Robert Smirke’s dying words to rub salt in the wound, and the surge of stunned outrage on Jonah’s face confirms that for him.

 “Why does a man seek to destroy the world?"

 Jonah’s human eyes widen ever so slightly as he recognizes his own words.

  “…you would quite willingly doom that world and confine the billions in it to an eternity of terror and suffering, all to ensure your own happiness, to place yourself beyond pain and death and fear.”

 Jon kneels before the throne, a mocking gesture of fealty to a man who so arrogantly believed that he was to be –

 “…a king of a ruined world” – he pauses, fast-forwarding the statement in his mind, picking through disparate fragments to cobble together something that can convey his intended meaning – “had miscalculated.” Another pause, and then: “The ritual failed."

 Jonah squirms against his bindings, though whether it is in fear or frustration or anger, Jon does not know. He does not need to know, and he strangles that alien part of him that wants to taste exactly what flavor of distress struggles in front of him. He refuses to feed the Eye, even if it is at Jonah’s expense.  

 “…as much a victim as any” – Jon gives a curt nod to indicate Jonah – “trapped in the nightmare landscape of a twisted world.” 

 When he sees the glint of the knife, Jonah’s eyes widen further and he redoubles his thrashing. Jon is flooded with memories of his month held captive by the Circus – rough ropes chafing at his bare skin; cold, plastic hands slathering him in strong-smelling lotions; the bruises that lingered long after he escaped through the Spiral’s door. Part of him wishes that he could enjoy seeing Jonah like this – the one who orchestrated that trauma and so many others – but all he feels is that familiar revulsion that rises up in him any time he catches a whiff of shea butter.

 Another, louder part of him is relieved to find that even after everything, he still can’t quite bring himself to find pleasure in torture.

 Taking revenge on Jude Perry, obliterating the NotThem – it felt good in the immediate aftermath, to make them appreciate the terror and pain they had wrought, to stand in their presence not as a victim but as a long-overdue consequence. As soon as the adrenaline wore off, though, he would always crash. Whether or not they deserved their fates was never what haunted him the most. It was the simple act of using the same power that destroyed the world that always left him feeling sick, guilty, divorced from what remained of his humanity, and terrified of what he could become if he embraced his role as the Archive. It felt good in the same way that stealing live statements used to, and that terrified him.

 Still, Jon has a point to make. He draws the knife to Jonah’s face and holds the tip mere centimetres from his right eye, poised to strike. Jonah freezes and Jon stares him down. The Archive’s uncountable eyes open wide and focus laser-like on a single point, and he waits for the would-be king to blink first.

 And he does.

 With that, Jon stands and drops the knife. As it clatters to the floor, Jonah opens his human eyes ever so slightly, looking at the discarded weapon and then back to his Archive with uncertainty etched onto his face.

 “…didn’t even have the decency to kill me,” the Archive says. Jon swallows down a reflexive wave of revulsion at the memory of Peter Lukas’ voice, but he needs Jonah to understand this choice his Archivist has made, to truly appreciate the fate to which he is being condemned.  

 The Archive reaches for Gertrude next:“They might even stop death entirely, deny us the one last escape, keeping us alive and afraid – forever.”

 It takes a moment for the words to sink in, but slowly, ever so slowly, the existential terror dawns in Jonah’s eyes. His greatest fear may have always been mortality, but faced with the reality of what an immortal existence could actually entail, well…

  “You’ll get used to it here, in the world that we have made."

 Jonah Magnus’ own triumphant declaration reverberates through the space in the voice of the Archive he forced into being. The words sound as smug and gleeful as they did the first time the Archivist read them to an empty room, on the day he opened the door. 

 Behind it all, though, is Jonathan Sims. Not the Archive, not the Archivist, just… Jon. He feels no catharsis, no gratification, no closure. He just feels tired.

 But he didn’t come all this way to the Panopticon just to monologue at Jonah Magnus. This is the stronghold of the Eye, and that makes it Jon’s best chance of actually communing with the Beholding.

 He places the tape recorder on the floor next to the knife and turns his back on the man who sought to reign over a desolated world. As Jon walks away, the recorder clicks on, and the Archive’s final statement begins to play:

  “There is a tower at the center of creation…”

__________________________________

End notes:

- Jon’s dialogue is taken from the statements in the following episodes, in order: MAG 85; MAG 149; MAG 098; MAG 027; MAG 137; MAG 104; MAG 138; MAG 160 (x4); MAG 159; MAG 162; MAG 160 (again). 

[kenanda]

Thursday is inevitably going to bring back bullsgit discourse into the tma theory pool so while i prepare myself for that... may im see ur current tma theories? Whether theyre about who killed gertrude, what the supernatural/spooky stuff is like in the tma-verse, and/or what characters' relationships will be like in canon (there are some heavy discussions on relationships of all sorts currently– not just romantic– so feel free to go ham about any character dynamics) blease i love reading early theories

is that something that happens a lot? oh boy... good luck, then! buckle up, this is gonna be a long one lmao

look, i don't know if i have any solid theories, they're more like hunches? there are so many pieces to this puzzle and only now they're beginning to make some sense. imma try and sum up my thoughts topic by topic. 1. what's the creepy stuff? heck i sure would love to know lmao but like, i believe that all these cases connect, some more evidently than others. a strong indicator of that was the ep Dreamer, in which those death tendrils spread throughout London and and seemed to concentrate around the magnus institute. this ep also led me to believe that there's something about the position head archivist that's positively CURSED, and ep 53 (crusader) nudges me even further in that direction cuz if alexandria was a previous attempt at an Archive and if the creature that phillip brown saw there used to be an archivist, then there must be some sort of tradition or maybe even a condition to becoming a head archivist and i believe (from both a listener's and from a storytelling pov) that this THING might be the premise "if thou gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will also gaze into thee" which would make a lot of sense, given that towards the end gertrude seemed to be dealing with severe paranoia that SOMETHING or someone was watching her.

whether this something is singular or plural, only time will tell. i mean, there sure are a bunch of different beasts, but do they all come from the same place? do they all follow the same logic? is there a hierarchy and if so, who/what is the big boss? there have been some hints pointing towards something bigger than life slowly approaching them, some sort of monster idk. they foreshadowed this in ep literary heights, in which the guy talks about the ex altiora and its contents, and also in ep high pressure, in which antonia hayley talks about sticking her head into a hole and gazing upon something that seemed too big to be true.

so there, maybe these cases are just the symptoms of something much bigger and much more terrible that's slowly paving the way of its descent upon the mortal realm. maybe it is too big to just come in hot, so it's trying to create enough unbalance/chaos that its slipping into our (theirs, thank god) reality will be somewhat easier? there sure are creatures out there that are capable of bending the fabric of reality however the fuck they want (sasha's michael, or as i like to call him, blonde edward scissorhands)

but like, do they SERVE this "alpha" being? i can't say for sure, but there seem to be at least different segments or cults led by people, by entire families even that appear to worship these monsters. i get the feeling that they might even be rivals or smth, cuz i remember one episode where a girl (dunno if prentiss or that super religious chick who was only able to cook soggy spinach -gross) said she wasn't one of those idiots who kept searching after fractals (and there have been multiple mentions of said "idiots") all in all my ideas boil down to "who's gonna get daddy cthulhu down on earth first? there'll be a prize for who does!"

2. who killed gertrude? at first glance, elias seems super suspicious. i mean, he's hot but that doesn't exempt him. if i were to look at this from a mere listener's pov i'd say elias seems to have enough reasons to want to shut gertrude up for good, since he's always coming onto jon about keeping the lukas family out of the statements. if elias is their dog and gertrude had found something major about the lukas's, then that'd make sense for him to kill her.

if i look at it from a storytelling pov, it would seem rather too obvious that elias did it. but then again, obvious doesn't necessarily mean bad, and i'd be rather pleased if my theory was right and i got to see WHY it was right, with good, solid build up towards a sensible explanation. if it makes sense within the story, i'm happy.

3. relationships i haven't thought much about this one beyond the evident jmart brainrot that you can see all over my blog lately (it took me 3 captain america movies to ship stucky, my all-time otp, and like... 3s to ship jmart. i don't know how i feel about that.)

when i started s2 and i saw jon getting all paranoid over the smallest things and suspecting every single one of his assistants i was like yeahhh this is gonna be a long ride.

he still is suspicious as fuck up to ep57, but something happened that i NEVER saw coming which was jon confronting martin (in a rather asshole-ish way, if i may add) and then the tension of mistrust dissolving, which leads me to believe that their relationship might start to deepen in s2, because martin will be (for a while at least) the only one that jon can trust (i WEEP)

i haven't got a clue how the not-sasha thing will turn out, but i'm hella curious because like??? WHERE IS SASHA. does michael have her?does the mcfucking TABLE have her?????

all in all, these are my thoughts so far, there's still a lot of redstringing to be done here lol i'm sure i must've forgotten something, but this post is already hella long as it is so if you've reached this far i can only say congrats haha (oh and thank you for allowing me the great opportunity to ramble obnoxiously)

[lunagalemaster]

Relistening to MAG013: Alone 

A few thoughts:

Season 1 is amazing and infuriating to relisten to at the same time. Looking back, so many things are just straight up said in a basic fashion, but without the information or context behind them they go WAY over your head. So listening again, you’re just YELLING and recognizing not only characters, but phrases, information that is super important even now, and in general, the Powers being super obvious in what they’re doing.

This episode is the pinnacle of that.

So, there are quite a few things going on, the Lonely and with that, the Lukases. But, since we still don’t know too much about them and in general, what Peter is you know actually doing atm, I’m gonna put a pin on that and talk about other things. Mainly: Anchors and monster Jon stuff.  

(Gonna add here: Laughing at the fact that Naomi said Evan wasn’t close to his family bc they were “religious”.  Evan took one look at his fog creating, sea family and went “You know I actually like people so uh bye~”).

Anyway, anchors. 

“I tried to back away, but the ground was slick with dew and I fell. My fingers dug into the soft cemetery dirt as I looked around desperately for anything I could use to save myself, and my hand closed upon that heavy piece of headstone. It took all my self-control to keep a grip on that anchor, as I slowly dragged myself away from the edge of my lonely grave.” -MAG:013

Gonna focus on the particular choice of wording. Literally, what is described as an anchor is what help pulls her out of a grave. Falling into the lonely grave with no way to get out is the full fear (something that is confirmed later on in MAG:120).

“At last he’s in the moonlit graveyard, the oldest of the dreams. It is peaceful, cool and damp as the rolling foggy fields stretch out in all directions. He hears her calling pathetically from the bottom of the graves, but by now he knows there is nothing he can do but stare. She begs to be released, to dream of this place no more, but there is nothing he can do.” -MAG:120

Okay, so that’s just one thing. Could just be creative wording used to foreshadow actual anchors later on. Sure. Except….later on, there’s the emotional anchor.

“And then, as I found myself in the middle of that open, desolate field, I heard something. It was the strangest thing, but as I tried to run I could have sworn I heard Evan’s voice call to me. He said, “Turn left”. That’s it. That’s all he said. I know it sounds ridiculous, but that’s what he told me to do. And I did it. I turned sharply to the left and kept running. And then… nothing.” -MAG:013

Evan, despite being…well, dead, was Naomi’s emotional anchor. Which, makes sense! He grounded her when she was alive and made sure she didn’t feel lonely. In her hour of need, he was there to be that anchor and lead her back home.

All the way back in episode 13, not only do we have a mention as an object as an anchor, but a person as well! They’re a bit different, but it does show that as early as this, one way to escape the Powers and their presence are through anchors. Whether the form is an object or a person depends on the situation. 

…But that’s not the only reason why I brought up the MAG:120 quote.

Gonna go a bit subjective here, but… this was the first episode that really started warming me up to Jon as a person. Season 1 Jon is an absolute bastard man and relistening makes him even funnier because he’s basically a toddler stumbling around and making a mess of things about things he doesn’t understand and calling himself smart for it. And he’s still a bastard this episode don’t get me wrong. He’s annoyed and snooty and sounds like he’d rather be anywhere else.

But at the beginning of the episode he’s with Naomi. He tries to give her privacy for her recording. Then she asks for him to stay, so she doesn’t feel alone. And he does.

At the time, that endeared me a bit. It’s small and it didn’t make him into a good person, but it showed there was much more to him than being an arrogant bastard man. It showed that he cared for these people who gave statements and cared for their comfort, even if he begrudgingly showed it.  

Knowing what we do now, Naomi was his first victim. By giving her statement to him, she’s now cursed by the Archivist and the Beholding to relive her trauma for the rest of her life.

All because he chose to stay. 

And he was going to leave!!! Is the worst thing!!! He was going to leave and if he left, Naomi would have been fine!!! She would have said her statement and she would have been on her way!!! But he stayed!!! Because she asked and she wanted someone there!!! He was being kind and in turn he accidentally doomed her!!!

Jon’s first moment of compassion in the series turns out to also be his first monstrous one.

It fucks me up a bit.

One last thing. In MAG:017, Elias mentions that Naomi lodged a complaint against Jon. There aren’t any specifics at all. The only details Elias says is this:

“Regardless, I would prefer that you not antagonise anyone connected to the Lukas family. They are patrons of the Institute, after all.” -MAG:017

This makes me think that the complaint wasn’t about Jon’s bastard behavior towards her. Rather, I think it may have been the nightmares. The Lukas did not care for Naomi at all. In fact, they drove her out because they pretty much blamed her for their son’s death.

“My son is in there. He is dead.”-MAG:013

The way this line is worded...it sounds like that the latter could have been avoided. While we still don’t know exactly the limitations of the monster powers, Peter has talked about living until seeing the next Lonely ritual and there’s the vague idea that The End can’t take Jon. It’s not too much of a stretch to think that the Lukases blame Naomi for Evan’s death because without her, he could have possibly been on the path of the Lonely and been unable to die. 

With all this being said, why would the Lukases CARE if Noami makes a complaint against Jon? They made is clear she wasn’t welcomed that she wasn’t a part of the family. 

..But she was their victim.

I’m thinking that Elias warned off Jon because by taking her statement he accidentally stole the Lonely’s victim and gave her to the Beholding instead. We STILL don’t know what exactly is going on between Peter and Elias, but there has to be some sort of alliance or something, and Mr. Archivist here accidentally doing monster things and messing with Elias’ allies might not help with that.

I don’t have much more to say on this episode, and I think I’ll make a few more of these as I go through the rewatch. This episode in particular though...it’s a bit haunting (no pun intended). When I first listened, I was so intrigued by this new person and hearing her words and her experiences. It was different and it showed that there was something more dynamic going on with the storytelling because instead of just Jon the narrator, we had actual people in this world living these statements. It’s weird, with how technically important this episode is, with all the rest, it’s so easy to forget about Naomi and her tale within the now literally over hundred statements made throughout the series.

It’s been said before how well TMA does mundane horror. It’s usually described with objects, or an odd neighbor, or a job you don’t think about. There’s something else to be said about this though. For the statements, there’s an expectation. If something horrible happens...well, we know. That’s the point. Later on, we can expect horrible things to happen both in meta-narrative and the statements because we’re actively engaging in both.

But...this is so early in the series. We haven’t even met any of the other main cast yet. Hell, Jon really isn’t even a full character, mostly just a personality we’ve come to be familiar with. And yet, one of the the worst decisions, probably one of the most important moments in TMA for our main character, the moment that starts his life down the road of destruction feels like almost nothing. Just… a character building moment at best. 

And if I hadn’t gone back and relistened to the series, I wouldn’t have even thought about it.

“And I wish that I could convince myself that ignorance was the same thing as safety. But then, how many weeds have you unthinkingly stepped on in your lifetime?” -MAG:106

Weeds indeed..

[savrenim]

First you get me into TAZ, and now it looks like I'll be indoctrinated into tma fandom as well. How dare you. My sleep schedule will never be the same.

welcome to the best hell, tma in my opinion does some of the absolute best worldbuilding and plot buildup that I’ve ever seen and I love it so so much because it transitions from slightly-chiller-than-scp style one-shot horror to a bunch of ridiculous maneuvering as things click into place and using knowledge gained to pick and fight battles which in my opinion is not horror at all it transitions purely into drama-thriller because the only thing that I find actually scary is not knowing the rules of what is happening, once you know the rules you always at least have a chance of taking rational action and winning and even if the situation is unwinnable if you know why and you know how and you can mentally prepare, it’s not even Not Knowing so much as Information Is Contradictory And Cannot Be Categorized that gets me which is why House of Leaves is maybe the single best horror I’ve ever read and this all just.... so strongly aligns with a certain let’s say....philosophical theme of the show. 

anyways. there is currently, like...about 54 hours of direct episode content? which when I was being dragged into taz there was close to 100, which wasn’t terrible, that being said I did read most of tma because oops I process information way better when written and just listened along to things that seemed ‘standard’ to get an idea of the baseline and Important Seeming Character Interaction Bits so I suspect it took me a lot closer to, like, 30 hours to get through and only wrecked my sleep schedule for a week and also the reading experience is great so I definitely recommend considering that as an option depending on whether or not you like listening to long amounts of content (which isn’t to say the audio isn’t great too, it is, now that I’m caught up I’m listening and reading along and might go back and listen to it all just transcripts are a Very Good Resource for referential or supplementary purposes). the wiki is also hella useful for characters by episode if you hear a name you think you recognize to go back and figure out where, I highly recommend doing that as this is a story that builds up information about dozens and dozens of characters and groups all which are important and if you remember the bullet points of what you learned about the character previously via skimming through the wiki overview of the episode you can start putting things together faster and in very satisfying ways 

https://snarp.github.io/magnus_archives_transcripts/https://the-magnus-archives.fandom.com/wiki/Characters

[tallangrycockatiel]

Went to Great Yarmouth for the weekend and came across this clearly deeply haunted building. Sent the photo to @bromeliaddreams, who informed me that this is actually the House of Wax featured in a couple of fairly major Magnus Archives episodes.

It clearly wasn’t open to visitors, but when we passed it again in the evening there seemed to be lights on inside.

Not entirely happy that we went to a place entirely on a whim, I took a photo thinking nothing more than “oh hey that’s clearly haunted, cool” and then it turns out to be a TMA thing. Not happy about that at all.

[friendlycybird]

Season 3 Reactions - Part 1

I’ve developed a strange association since I’ve begun listening to The Magnus Archives.  I don’t know how it started but somehow, my go-to food choice for listening is, for some reason, Cup of Noodles. Chicken Flavor, Typically.  I don’t understand how this happened, or why, but I strongly associate Cup of Noodle with TMA and I will never understand it, I’ll just go with it. So it is with a Styrofoam cup of cooking noodles set beside my computer that I begin this post.

I’m halfway through season 3, which I was told way back when I was halfway through season one would be the big Lore building season. I just didn’t anticipate how much.  I know so much more now then I did at the end of last season, and I’m fully aware I’ve only scratched the surface. So, as of right now, here’s what I think of the first half of season 3. 

81. Jon’s awareness of his personality flaws dating all the way back to childhood is, on one hand, good. On the other, I’m always wary when I hear a parental figure described as having “done their best” with a troublesome child...I’m never convinced that was a healthy upbringing. 

82. I have a lot of feelings about Martin’s unwavering faith in Jon. Well, unwavering may be a slightly strong word for it but I almost cried when he had that pleased reaction to being told people say he and Jon are close. 

83. I love Georgie. Also, I am of course, not surprised that it was a circus display, of all things, that went wrong in this statement. 

84. I am so happy that Martin’s reading statements now? I mean. I’m not happy for Martin since reading statements is obviously extremely draining and difficult but I love Martin so getting more of him is always good for me, however bad it may be for him. Also, Melanie stepping in to replace Sasha gives me some...mixed feelings. I really like Melanie and I’m glad to have her on board but this...this kinda makes it real, you know? I think this is when that last bit of hope I was still stupidly clinging to, even after Leitner stated point-blank that Sasha was dead, finally died as well. Sasha’s well and truly gone and has been since season one.  It’s Melanie’s turn. 

85. I’ve heard this rhyme before. Taking it to its logical conclusion like this was deeply unsettling. 

86. This episode was a reminder exactly why I didn’t use to listen to TMA at night. I’ve become a lot more flexible on the subject, and yes, I regret it. I fully intended to sleep with the lights on after I listened to this episode. My partner needed it off so she could get to sleep though so I gave in and settled for just not being alone. 

87. I’ve listened to... thirteen episodes after this one. Thirteen. When I listened to this episode, Gertrude’s closing comments were...largely nonsensical to me. All I knew was that something was that she’d been injured somehow, and that this statement suggested an unexpected alliance between avatars and a rushed timeline for The Unknowing. Already a lot of information.  I just went back and read the transcript of her closing statement and...there’s so much here. The connection between Gertrude and Jude Perry was one I picked up on a couple episodes later.  Looking at this now, it seems like a pretty clear who’s-who of the biggest players currently on the board. 

88. I love Martin and I genuinely feel so bad for him with all this.  Recording statements is hard and change is harder and everyone expecting him to know things. 

89. It’s not often anymore I hear a piece of media and have a bone-deep jealousy of the performer. Jude Perry is a character I want to play.  Her dialogue, her *statement*, her power, her...god. She’s just. She might be my favorite antagonist. 

90. Poor Tim. He tried to leave, he actually tried to just pack up and go, and it almost killed him. He hates this place with everything in him and hates himself for working there but he’s not ready to die just to stop. 

91. I can not tell you how taken aback I was by the fact that the first line we hear from Mike Crew is “You’re sure I can’t get you a cup of tea?” The fact that it seems all he really wants is to be left alone with his powers makes him...I can’t properly say sympathetic. Not after episode 75 but close enough that I’m a little sad Daisy killed him.

92. I was...genuinely prepared to come out of this hating Elias. God knows everyone who was in that room did. I don’t though.  Elias comes off to me as nothing so much as the tutor who’s finished his masters thesis on a subject and is sitting down with a first-year undergrad in that subject and trying to explain that yes, I absoloutly could tell you exactly how all of this works but if you don’t learn it for yourself you’ll never pass your tests.  Except, with the stakes turned up to 11. I think about Elias a lot. I don’t...I’m not as attached to him as I am to the others, to everyone else who was in that room...but I like him. He’s...interesting. 

93. Admiral is a good kitty, comforting Jon like that at the beginning. But the exchange toward the end I will never be over is “I don’t want to talk about it.” “Tough.” “Look, I’m moving out anyway, so just...just forget it. I’m out of your life. Alright?” “No.”  - Just. Georgie’s absolute refusal to take Jon’s shit and insistence on actually properly *helping* him - I love her. 

94. I remember we’ve seen this philosophy before, the idea that “The moment that you die will feel exactly the same as this one.” the idea that the present and the future are not distinct from one another. I can’t remember what episode it came up in before but also the thought that - accepting that? Accepting the...smallness? Of the universe? Of the human experience? Would just kill you where you stand or, if you survive it, stop you from ever feeling fear again? That’s...a powerful statement really. And one I’m not sure I agree with? It’ll take some time to unpack the philosophy here. 

95. Poor Martin. I say that a lot but no really, poor Martin. He’s trying so hard and it’s all just too much. For him to give up on professionalism is just sad. His exchange with Basira at the end is another look into the philosophy it seems the show is building. What do you do in the face of helplessness?  “You make the best of things.” Basira says. Of course, as interested as I am in the overall message of TMA (beyond always carry a fucking flashlight, which was the lesson I took from season 1 and now there’s one clipped to my purse) I’m even more overwhelmed by the fact that the idea of escaping himself never occurred to Martin. 

96. Feels good to get some answers about Breekon and Hope finally. Proper ties to the circus it seems, although the questions from episode 93 all still stand.  TMA is really good at it, at giving you an answer, and it’s definitely an answer you know something you didn’t - and yet, none of your actual questions have been answered. 

97. As if it wasn’t enough that the statement hit a little closer to home than the typical TMA episode as I live in Oregon, so less then 500 miles from whatever the fuck that pit was. Of course, when the statement occurred I was safely down in California but all the same, unnerving.  As if THAT WASN’T ENOUGH. Fucking. Orsinov fucked me up, guys. I was *shaking*.  I don’t know what it is but she is, as a character, well beyond terrifying. I. I don’t have words for how much she scares me. I don’t even know why. I just. Everything about her is just. Fuck. 

98. I quite enjoyed Tim pointing out the problem with the “They can never know I have to project them” bullshit that Jon is prone to. That said, I find it ironic that Tim can, in the space of a page, go from calling the Institute, and by extension the Eye, evil, to saying “ignorance isn’t going to save anyone.” - because that’s what The Eye seems to be. Just knowledge. Observing, Learning, Knowing.  It’s not...at least...I don’t know that it’s as evil as Tim thinks it is.  Ruthless, detached, inhuman, yes. Evil? I’m not at all sure of that. 

99. Another American Statement, this time about The Dust Bowl. We also get names of several more...powers. The Spiral, The Buried, The Hunt. But more then that. We find out that Michael use to be Gertrude’s Assistant!  Which. Is he like Mike? Did something change him? He always felt...older...than that? It would explain why he seems to have so much curiosity toward the archive and the archivist though...

100. and finally, an anthology of sorts, of what happens when people who don’t have The Archivist’s ability try to take statements live. Two things stand out to me about this.  The first? Martin, you absoloute sweetheart why are you trying to pay the woman? She gave you fuckall and might not even have been telling the truth.  And also... “Elias can be quite... ‘protective’ of his people.”  Like. !!!!!!! I mean.  After reading that statement, that whole speech for Jon before everyone got there back in episode 92... after all that and people like Peter Lukas still see Elias as ‘protective’  ...I..you know I think it might be true? His total lack of anger when Melanie tried to poison him and just the fact that he’s trying so hard to prepare Jon? I don’t know. It’s funny, I’m always inclined to think the best of people. With Elias though, I’m not so quick to think there might be anything genuinely good to him, but, I definitely can’t see him as evil either. 

[haberdashing]

What A Tangled Web We Weave (9/?)

TMA AU diverging from canon at the end of episode 92. Jon is forced into an arranged marriage by Elias; Martin does what he can to help.

on AO3

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5 / Chapter 6 / Chapter 7 / Chapter 8 / Chapter 9

Martin managed to be a bit more productive work-wise after his tea break than he had been beforehand, though that wasn’t saying much. Every once in a while he’d look up from where he was staring at his computer monitor and glance around to see if Tim had returned while he wasn’t looking, and every time Tim remained nowhere to be seen.

That was... a problem, and one he would probably have to deal with sooner rather than later, but he couldn’t very well do much about it when Tim wouldn’t even be in the same room as him.

By the time Martin went home at the end of the day, he still had yet to see Tim, and part of him worried about it. What if something had happened to Tim, if he’d ran from Martin only to fall victim to some greater terror? What if the last time he’d ever see Tim would be when he was frozen in fear as Martin begged him not to tell anybody else what he’d become?

Or what if Tim was just freaked out by having a spider monster as a coworker, as most people naturally would be, and everybody else he knew would likely act the same once the truth came out? Everyone he knew, everyone he cared about, avoiding him at all costs, any personal connection they might have had irreversibly severed after they found out what he was now?

And they would find out eventually. Even if Tim stayed true to his word and kept schtum, even if Martin managed to not let the truth slip out to anybody else... assuming his deal wasn’t made in vain, his wedding to Jon would be in a month’s time (or a few days less than, now), and there’d be no hiding that he was connected to the Web after that.

Was it better to break the news slowly and cautiously over time, or to enjoy what peace he could before everything inevitably came crashing down around him?

...this was going to be a long month.

At least his sleep was peaceful enough once again, even if Martin almost wished for a night of tossing and turning just so he could put off the inevitable that much longer.

Tim was in his normal spot when Martin arrived in the Archives the next morning, which did reassure him that the worst hadn’t happened to him yet, but he could practically feel Tim’s glare burning into him, and when Martin got up to look for a file he needed for his research he wasn’t terribly surprised to find that Tim was gone by the time he returned.

Martin tried not to let Tim’s absence bother him too much, tried to get on with business as usual; after all, he knew well enough that hunting Tim down for a conversation would likely be counterproductive and might well lead to Tim lashing out at him. He didn’t search the far corners of the Archives for Tim’s presence, didn’t make any trips through the building that weren’t strictly necessary for work purposes. If Tim needed time to himself, so be it.

...alright, Martin supposed that technically, his trip to the loo wasn’t strictly necessary for work purposes, but it was necessary for... biological purposes. That much hadn’t changed, at least. Admittedly he probably could have waited longer, and maybe he just jumped at the excuse to stretch his legs a bit after staring at his computer monitor for what felt like hours on end, but.

To be fair, Martin hadn’t expected Tim to be in there when he entered.

He assumed it was Tim, anyway. He couldn’t see the majority of Tim’s body, given that he was in one of the stalls, but Martin vaguely remembered seeing those shoes on Tim earlier in the day, and there were only so many potential users of the men’s room in the Archives, anyway. His trousers were still on, from what Martin could see, not bunched up around his lower legs, and that didn’t change as Martin took a minute to process what he was seeing and think of an appropriate reaction, so...

“Are you seriously sitting on the toilet in here just so you don’t have to be in the same room as me?”

Martin regretted phrasing his question so bluntly when he saw Tim’s legs stiffen in response, though how much of Tim’s evident tenseness was due to the wording of Martin’s question and how much was just Martin’s presence being made clear was still up in the air.

For a moment, Martin thought Tim wasn’t going to dignify his question with a response, thought Tim was going to be silent and hope that he just went away, and while that wasn’t ideal Martin was willing to follow through, but after Martin stepped closer to the facilities, Tim finally spoke up.

“Did you come here to kill me?”

“...what?”

“I said, did you come here to kill me?”

A year ago, that might have been a joke that Tim bandied around in the work room, accusing Martin of plotting murder via too much tea or some such nonsense, a throw-away remark punctuated with a laugh. Now, Tim’s voice was deadly serious.

“Wha- no! No, of course not! Jesus, Tim, I’m not going to kill you, I’m not going to kill anyone-”

“Then piss off. I’ve made nice with a monster pretending to be a coworker for long enough, thanks. Not playing that game again.”

“I’m not-” Martin hesitated, considering his words carefully. He didn’t think he was a monster now, exactly--not the way Tim meant it, anyway, not like Prentiss had been--but, well, Tim had seen him with eight eyes, and arguing that point seemed like a losing battle.

“I’m not pretending to be your coworker.” Martin said instead. “I am your coworker. It’s still me, Tim.”

A brief pause before Tim responded. “But with freaky spider eyes.”

Martin leaned against the wall, grimy though it was--whatever they were paying their janitors, it wasn’t enough.

“...but with freaky spider eyes, yeah.” Martin admitted.

“And with freaky spider powers.”

That threw Martin for a loop. Had Tim found out about the spider space bar thing, then? Had- had Jon figured it out already, and told Tim about it? Or did Tim manage to piece it together all on his own?

“...what d’you mean, freaky spider powers?”

“I think that’s what that was, anyway... I hope that’s what that was. Hope I wasn’t just too much of a coward to run. Hope it’s not my own damn fault my throat closes up every time I try to tell someone what you really are.”

Martin bit his lip hard enough that he could taste blood as the meaning of Tim’s words washed over him.

“God, Tim, I...”

Martin tried to remember exactly what words he’d used when he’d spoken to Tim before, if anything had felt out of the ordinary when he’d spoken them. He’d told Tim to stop, and he’d stopped. He’d told Tim not to tell anybody about what he was, and apparently Tim had followed through there, too. He’d assumed it was a coincidence that Tim had actually listened and done what he’d asked, that or, or some strange stroke of luck... but he never was that lucky, was he?

“Please don’t give me some half-assed excuse for an apology.”

Martin gulped. “...I wasn’t going to.”

“Good.”

“I just want you to know I, I didn’t mean to? I just, I spoke without thinking, I just wanted to talk you out of telling the others-”

Tim snorted, though there was no true levity to the sound. “Sure, just like Jon asks questions purely out of idle curiosity.”

Martin bit his lip again, trying his best to ignore the tang of copper as he did so. He still thought Jon meant well, too, but... but Tim obviously had stopped believing that some time ago.

“Do you want me to... tell you you can say whatever you want to the others? Maybe I can do that, I can, can override what I did before by telling you something different-”

“And give you permission to do even more mind control in the process?” Tim let out a loud huff. “Hard pass, thanks.”

“...fair enough.” Martin thought silently for a moment. “What if I can- can prove it’s me? Something only I’d know, that sort of thing?”

“You can try.” Tim’s voice didn’t sound especially enthusiastic about the idea, and Martin couldn’t blame him--after all, Sasha had apparently been a monster for months now, and they hadn’t noticed anything was off--but he had to try, he had to do something.

“Remember when I was living in the Archives, and you came in--without warning, mind you, normal people knock, Tim--and started speculating about how I clearly liked someone, and maybe I wouldn’t tell you who because it was someone in the Archives? You guessed Sasha, you guessed yourself... but you never even mentioned Jon.”

Tim snorted. “Guess I assumed you had better taste than to go for our asshole boss.”

Martin could feel his face heat up. “Well, then I guess you assumed wrong.”

After a moment, Martin added, “Is that enough proof for you?”

A long silence hung in the air before Tim responded.

“What if it’s not?” Tim’s voice was darkly serious. “What would you do then? Would you kill me?”

“Wha- Tim, no, we went over this, I’m not killing you-”

“Trap me in the loo for all eternity?”

“The only one trapping you in here is yourself, Tim, you can leave whenever you want. This isn’t my doing.”

“Why’d you enter in the first place, then?”

Martin’s face heated up again, though for a very different reason this time. “I had to use the toilet! I still have to, okay? If that makes you uncomfortable, if you really don’t want to be in the same room as me, just leave so I can go already, and, and then you can come back after I’m done, if you want.”

“And if I leave the stall now, you won’t wipe my mind or, or do some spooky spider magic on me-”

“No, Tim. Absolutely not. I swear.”

A brief pause, and then the door unlocked and Tim emerged, his face pale, his eyes narrow and suspicious.

“For what it’s worth, I'm sorry.”

“Sure.” The sarcasm in Tim’s voice was bitter and biting.

Tim stayed as far from Martin as he could while approaching the bathroom door before bursting outside, his footsteps ringing out fast and heavy as the door slowly closed behind him.

Martin sighed and rubbed his (two) eyes for a long moment before heading over to use the facilities himself.

[centaurianthropology]

The Magnus Archives ‘High Pressure’ (S02E11) Analysis

Diving!  Deep sea mysteries!  The return of a mysterious old antagonist and some immense Lovecraftian horror, and a few answers (that raise more questions) about one of the assistants.  This one hits all my buttons, and I thoroughly enjoyed it.  Come on in to read my take on ‘High Pressure’.

So we immediately get immersed in the fascinating world of deep-sea salvage, which is a departure from many of the more mundane jobs we hear about often in TMA.  I don’t know if the writer has ever done scuba before, but his descriptions continue to be one of the highlights of the show.  The level of obvious care in research and in detailing the job and the situation make it all the more immersive when things go wrong. And that’s critical, because the descent into horror (literally as well as figuratively this time) could seem slow, but instead builds a sense of dread that pays off in beautiful, unexpected ways.

I immediately hurried over to the Wiki page for ‘The Bosun’s Call’ as soon as I realized it was another story about the sea, as I thought that her captain, Kemp, might have been in that one as well.  No such luck, but there was a callback to an old episode.  The salvage crew was hired to find the yacht owned by the grandfather of the mysterious Simon Fairchild, last heard from in ‘Freefall’.  We knew very little about Fairchild, aside from that he seemed to have vanished, was involved with someone being eaten by the sky, and was a pseudonym for something.

So it was exciting to draw him deeper into the web of mystery that is this expanding and complicated universe (and indeed he seems as deeply enmeshed in the wider world of TMA as it is possible to be).  It’s interesting that both of the stories he’s featured in involve diving.  One skydiving, the other deep sea diving.  

Moreover, there are definitely similarities between the situations in ‘Freefall’ and ‘High Pressure’. Both involve people in dangerous professions that involve descent.  But while ‘Freefall’ was about a man who was temporarily—and then not so temporarily—trapped in a world of endless sky, this ocean, though as empty as that sky, did have a bottom, and a particularly creepy sunken wreck from the 1890s called the Maria Fairchild.  

Our protagonist, Antonia Hayley, found a hole in the hull while exploring the ship to recover heirlooms. The hole seemed to have been torn out from the inside, and the water beyond was far darker than it ought to have been.  When Antonia looked through that hole, she seemed to have been transported to the twilight zone of the ocean, or at least an endless expanse of crushing water similar to the twilight zone of our own oceans.  In this ocean, as there was in the endless sky, there was no life and no surface, no up or down; just an endless expanse of water.  The light was so dim as to be almost useless, but she made out, stretching as far as her vision could reach, an impossibly large, impossibly distant hand.  Even as it began to move, she bumped against the sharp hull next to her, and came back from whatever terrifying place she had been.  There is no word on what happened beyond that, as she was overcome by the bends.  Her diving partner and Simon Fairchild both seem to have disappeared.

Lore-wise, this one is rich, and ties together two surprising stories: ‘Literary Heights’ and ‘Freefall.’  Yet again, we have the impossibly large, impossibly distant being as a motif, now perhaps real albeit in some other, endless ocean.  We have the same language of impossible immensity used in ‘Literary Heights’, the same despairing smallness.

But what does that mean? Leitner seems more and more like a hub, a collector for all the impossible things that exist in this world, and a collector who imposes no restrictions and no safeties on the acquisition of knowledge.  We had the being made of lightning, first, and now we have at least one and possibly more than one being of impossible vastness.  Again I wonder if Leitner isn’t providing some sort of transport or access to other worlds through his books, and allowing other worlds access to ours. And I wonder how Leitner’s abilities, seemingly more based in his collection than himself, relate to those of Simon Fairchild.  He too, if we’re getting properly Lovecraftian, has keys to the Outer Gates, and we’re dealing with some serious Great Old Ones.  And more interestingly, this seems to be a family affair, with his grandfather having the same access to that endless ocean that he did to endless sky.  I wonder what might have lurked in that sky, if we’d had a first-hand account of Robert Kelly.

It’s also possible that Simon Fairchild is not the grandson of the man who owned the ship, but was himself that man.  We have Sims’ account that there was a con-artist thrown to his death from a window in the 1930s, linked to a minor haunting he himself investigated as one of his first cases as an Institute Researcher in 2012, who went by the same alias. While it may well be just a coincidence, I somehow doubt that the previous Simon Fairchild would have been introduced if he wasn’t somehow involved in the larger story of this one. There do seem to be records of the Fairchild family, at least.  They appear extremely wealthy, with links to aerospace and deep sea drilling, perpetuating that strange link to the sky and sea, and the strange vast places he seems to have access to.  That puts me in mind of the Lukas family, and I do have to wonder if these two dangerous, strange families ever crossed paths.

Not-Sasha

On another note, we got a bit more on Sasha, or well … we didn’t.  It turns out that, despite personally requesting her to work in the Archives, Sims didn’t actually know anything about her beyond that she started out in Artifact Storage, and still knows nothing more than the brief biography we got earlier this season.  

But if we got very little from the real Sasha, we got a surprising, if small, insight into Not-Sasha. It seems she has a more complicated relationship with the table than we initially imagined, claiming that the sort of thing that took over Graham didn’t seem the sort to allow itself to be bound to an object.  I have to think that, by extension, pertains to Not-Sasha.  She’s bound to that table against her will, putting me even more in mind of Michael and the beings that are also places.  If the table isn’t actually the origin of Not-Sasha, where did her kind come from, and how are they linked to that table?  Is it at all possible that our Sasha is in that table, and still alive?  

I also find it interesting that, despite her implied frustration with the table, Not-Sasha spends hours staring at it.  What is she trying to do when she looks at it?  She claims it’s not a fractal, but a web.  And Sims, to my surprise, agreed that they were all trapped by it.  What did he mean by that?  At least he seems smart enough to request that Sasha’s access to that table be limited.  At last I might see if my speculation that Elias actually knows about Not-Sasha and is studying her might be borne out or totally refuted.  Either way, I really want to know how both he and Not-Sasha react to this.

Also, why does Not-Sasha take extra-long lunch breaks in Mme Toussand’s wax museum?  Dare I dream of a multi-voice exploration of a wax museum? An archival staff field trip?

A girl can dream.

Conclusions

The horror itself was deliciously Lovecraftian, and took a really chilling turn with that impossibly immense hand.  I think we might finally be scraping the surface of the wider, WIDER universe at play here.  The idea that there is an ecosystem of monsters and horrors has been floated before, and seems all the more valid now that we’ve caught glimpses of being far vaster and likely far more uncaring of our existence or our world than either Jane or Michael.  This is the fear, not of the unknown, but of the unknowable.  Of something so immense and so alien that we cannot comprehend even a single one of its hands.  That is exactly the sort of horror that excites me the most!

We also got some great snippets about Not-Sasha, and more about Simon Fairchild, who definitely seems to be a big player in whatever game is going on in this universe.  What exactly he can do and why is a mystery I’m eager to hear more about.  I also really want to find out how he ties in with the Lukases or with Leitner.  More and more surprising links are being forged in this series, and I feel like we’re seeing this universe the same way that Antonia saw that impossibly large being in the endless ocean: the shadow of an outline of a single limb has been shown.  We can’t even begin to guess the shape of the thing beyond, and can only speculate as to its enormity.

Hell of an episode, this one.  

[ashes-in-a-jar]

Tma relisten Episodes 11-15

So this round already has two other posts out of it about Oliver because he Bae.

These have alot of ideas regarding entities changing around reality, controlling non victims to set the stage, and turning around what people love most to their worst fear. Also insane abilities of the crew to obtain hard to access info and evidence! And some more Jon sass. Enjoy!

11 dreamer

Wow this episode had alot. I made a separate post with a theory about Oliver's statement here and a realization regarding him and Jane Prentiss here. They are alot to unpack

Oliver is so. Freaking. Relatable! Learned economics and hated it. Nearly had a breakdown like him because of it. "going to stay with some of the few friends that had survived my year of stress-fuelled outbursts and constantly cancelled plans." yep. That.

Boyfriend Graham ey? You notebook eating Graham?? Wow that guy is full of surprises.

I love the dream sequences and their descriptions it's a really beautiful thing to try and picture.

Its interesting how he went from passive to desparate to passive again about death. He tries but can't help. I wonder when the dreams started to bother him so much he sought after the silence of point Nemo. Was it when they became so full of red because of the apocalypse coming closer? Hmmm

Another person named John. I guess that makes sense it's a common name. But I forgot how many people are fully named in this podcast. Hundreds of names to come up with! Jonny I'm quite impressed!

He worked with Jane Prentiss in the magic shop! I can't believe I forgot about that! Wow small avatar world indeed.

"It led me to a room, the label of which was still visible, and read “Archive”. I entered to see walls covered with shelves and cabinets stretching off into the distance. These shelves were coated in a sticky black tar, which I knew at that moment was the thickened, pulpy blood that pumped through each and every one of those veins." everything that has to do with the Fears I bet. Full of death and destruction and stolen from the veins to be out on display for the Eye's pleasure.

Yo Jon is scared of this he's seriously considering going to Elias for advice

" I had Tim look into it, as I don’t entirely trust the others not to have written it as a practical joke" wait. He trusts TIM? Not to do a practical joke? How. Why. Eh?

"died in the line of duty" fuck you Jonah.

Now Jon will get every new statement immediately when it's made. Perhaps this was Elias' intention all along. To scare him into making sure he does not miss any paranormal activity recorded by the institute.

12 first aid

I'm not immune to more Gerry badassery, hell yeah

And we get polish Martin which hell yeah! Even if Jon doesn't believe it. I'm sure he's repressing the fact that he's thoroughly impressed.

I think it's really interesting the effect entities have on people who are decidedly not their victims. Everyone leaving no questions so the entity can set the scene for the scare. Like with Gillespie how no one lived in the apartment building he was in etc. Alot of work into a handful of people being genuinely scared.

Gerry's burns stopped at the neck? How did he manage that. Also it's hilarious to imagine that he's like "yes burn all of me but please. not my goth makeup"

Zippo lighter with eye design!! And Jon has web design! They are brothers (joke but still really interesting)

Liquids were boiling around her and she didn't feel the heat. Also an interesting effect just for the scare.

Gerry got eye superpowers like Jon if he can function while injure and filled with painkillers.

“Yes. For you, better beholding than the lightless flame.” Gerry knew she'd be haunted by a Fear from that day on and realised that perhaps being watched would be easier for her specifically to deal with than the Desolation. I guess that's a way of assessing people. Which fear would least bother you.

Jon is already enamoured with Gerry you can tell. He can't wait to hear more from him. Just you wait Jon.

They really can access alot of information huh. CCTV Interviews files. Pretty impressive for a non-research team. They're so good at it they'd rather do that than actual archiving.

13 alone

The sound editing in this episode is not that great it was a bit to get used to.

We get a glimpse at the Lukases which is... Ugh

Jon is actually trying to be nice. Granted it's not working and she is a bit of a standoffish person herself who just went through a bad time but alot of her reactions are not his fault. He was trying to be considerate giving her space to record but he did stay when she asked.

She had already leaned into the Lonely before the incident it's interesting to see how some of these statements start with a person actually liking the aspect that later turns to fear. Same happens in lost johns' cave.

Evan Lukas sounds like an avatar of the exact opposite of the Lonely. At least to her. That's a really interesting effect from someone, especially a Lukas.

But maybe dying wasn't his family killing him but him not feeding his patron which he tried to leave. Really tragic.

She was in Martin's domain eyyy!

It's got a bit of buried aspects to it with the grave stuff and all.

"My fingers dug into the soft cemetery dirt as I looked around desperately for anything I could use to save myself, and my hand closed upon that heavy piece of headstone. It took all my self-control to keep a grip on that anchor, as I slowly dragged myself away from the edge of my lonely grave." The headstone was her anchor? But it said forgotten. I wonder how it helped her pull away. It probably had to go together with Evan's voice. Like the rib and the tape recorders having to work together! I just wonder what meaning the stone had for her.

"I’d be tempted to chalk this one up to a hallucination from stress and trauma, if it wasn’t for the fact... " God he does believe her heavens. He's not a skeptic!

This is when Jon's dreams start which... Good luck Jon.

14 piecemeal

Rentoul is terrifying sonofabitch and I would never want to meet him irl

I remembered them talking about how he was supposed to be a person who cursed alot and they couldn't do it because of sensor and I have to agree this could have been much better for the story. I tried imagining curses in some places.

LOL Jon reading this is funny. Trying to voice act the bad boy. Doesn't sound right on his voice.

With these kinds of statements happening alot where the person does something bad, the institute has to be in touch with police over them. The nda has to include that.

Hello Angela! I really wonder what her deal is. She scared the bid bully so she gotta have creepy vibes to the extreme.

Another lighter! Hmm do I have to start following the lighter motiff in this podcast. This one has a topless woman on it. Flesh lighter?

Salesa's also appearing that's cool! Noriega was probably looking for an artifact to reverse the curse. Didn't work tho since they left with the crate. The buried crate perhaps?

I'm wondering. Was this written? Because the statement sounds like he's talking. If so, Where's the recording?

Oh Jon your attitude towards Martin is so bad. He works so hard and it's not even in what he's good at, sorting and filing like he knows how to do from the library. God.

What's the deal with all the furniture gone? Did he think it'll help not get injured? He's not that smart if he thought that would help him.

15 lost Johns' cave

Ack a bad statement she was not a good person all around

Another example of the entities setting the stage by controlling others not to interfere with the victim's experience.

Also another example of the person liking the subject (cave exploration in this case. And the dark for that matter) only for it to turn against them.

Not much to say about this one other than its one of the scarier ones for sure. And her recording in the end is really the cherry on top. There is alot of discrepancy between what she believed happened and what actually did which shows how much the fear plays with and changes around reality. That's also how she manages to lie in a statement to Beholding. It wasn't a lie. It was her version of reality and she did not remember saying those awful words.

Taught me alot about cave diving and how much I will never do it in my life.

The Dark was mixed into this as well so it wasn't purely Buried.

Btw Where did she get the candles she was found with?

It feels like she made a choice. Didn't want to spend her last moments with her sister and then didn't want to die. She chose her sister to be taken over her. Her sister called for help and the candle coming closer might have been her! But she just shut her eyes.

How did Tim gain access to the recording?? Wow that's some prime evidence.

Martin is claustrophobic amongst other things huh? Live how Jon just dismisses this as an excuse not to work. At least he didn't push it.