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#me: they're on the list what do you mean
insurged · 4 months
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tfw your mutuals know your muse list better than yourself ...........
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jahiera · 8 months
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sniffling and crying downloading 10 pdfs of dnd lore books so I can read about the universe so I can accurately write about it. start crying even more when I have a lore question and the reddit conversation reads like "you fucking idiot this was contradicted 15 years ago!" "idk ask your DM you can do what you want" "ACTUALLY you cannot do what you want. read THIS book--" "okay well larian plays fast and loose with the lore anyways." "kill yourself." "okay."
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"i mess up things and then i don't have the energy to fix them up" yes brain true sentence but no brain the appropriate response is NOT "therefore i should kill myself (and here's how)"
#tw suicide#i wish i was joking#i am just so so tired of keeping myself alive! can't someone else do it for a change? or better yet kill me??#said something to the emergency room psych#she queried it and i confirmed i had said precisely what i intended#she blinked and said 'i usually hear that from jaded forty year olds not twenty year olds'#i won't share what because it was a highly specific explanation of precisely how i might see myself suiciding or how/whether i thought i#could. she asked me and i answered. apparently she wasn't expecting that level of detail and confidence#is it funny to anyone else that i always struggle with confidence but i can confidently tell her specifics about suicide thoughts?#this is reminding me of the fifteen year old yesterday i was conversing with and he randomly started listing all the suicide methods he#could think of and i was internally like you missed a dozen i can think of. didn't say that obvs#i don't know i am. tired. of everything. and i had a long and good conversation with an older woman from church last night (mother of the#boy. i have confided in her before she's great)#she's hte only person irl who now knows about the second suicide attempt (tho she doesn't know it was the second) and she was encouraging m#to see the psych and escalate care#but all day ive been regretting telling the psych or bro or anyone honestly#it would be so much EASIER to have said nothing and gone through with my plan#i wouldn't trust myself not to rn if i had access#i mean. i know multiple ways in this room i could kill myself. but i won't#there's a couple of specific methods that are most of the thoughts usually so they're the specific ones i gotta watch out for more if that#makes sense#ooh gosh im rambling i should shut up xD#personal#puddleglum hours
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tea-cat-arts · 1 year
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Aight, I present my honkai tier list as of the end of part 1. Tier meanings may or may not be explained in the tags. Also, if I left someone important off, its cuz the template I was using was just a wall of faces and I was getting eye strain trying to sort through them
Edit: I made a mistake. Seele should be in blorbo bleebus tier
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variousqueerthings · 8 months
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I truly do love what we cobra kai fans write, because we're creating a fun intergenerational queer text centred around martial arts and americana and colonialist themes collaboratively, the stakes are low, the fun is high, the fanfic and fanart and fanwork is so so sexy
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So you know this party banter between Aveline and Carver?
Aveline: I don't like some of the people you've been associating with, Carver. Carver: Talk to my brother/sister. He/She's the one in charge.
If you're on the rivalry path with Aveline, she says:
Aveline: Who says I don't mean him/her too? This city's full of people who are dead set on ending badly. I don't want to see you end up the same way.
I just- Aveline, you- you're so- hhhhnnnngggggg
I always rival Aveline when I play a mage, and if you think Edgar Aristide Hawke, who practically raised Carver and Bethany after Malcolm died and Leandra became a distant mother in her grief, wouldn't stop dead in his tracks at Aveline heavily implying he's a bad influence on his brother and Carver shouldn't hang around him so much since apparently Ed's someone set on ending badly...? Absolutely not.
This is another case of me wishing Hawke had the option to jump in during party banter with different options, because Ed would've chewed Aveline out for that.
Oh, and then there's:
Carver: Would asking you to stop spying on me help in the least? Aveline: No.
Aveline...................stop it.
#da2#dragon age 2#carver hawke#aveline vallen#da2 hawke#edgar hawke#listen all of aveline and carver's party banter and their relationship and the fact that they're pretty much foils DRIVES ME CRAZY#in a good way but then i get party banter like this and i stop everything i'm doing just to scream#like ed and aveline are on fairly good terms in act 1 i mean the rivalry is there but it's not too bad it's more like they just butt heads#but after leandra's death the friendship just rots and deteriorates like by the end of act 3 ed is genuinely surprised aveline#didn't turn on him and side with the templars but i guess even aveline knows what's actually right#or maybe she just doesn't want to face ed in a fight sksksks hell ed AND carver in a fight so it's easier to side with him and the mages#but anyway aveline saying that when ed's in earshot is bold but also the fact that carver doesn't actually acknowledge it#like he doesn't agree or disagree he just changes the subject to be like 'can you stop spying on me PLEASE'#like he already has no privacy while living with gamlen and now he has no privacy when he's by himself because apparently aveline's spying#also i always max out carver's friendship so he and ed are on good terms they're the brothers hawke and carver loves him#even if he doesn't outright say it you know that's what he's really saying in the last straw#when he says that he's proud to call hawke brother/sister and that's gone unsaid for too long like............ screaming sobbing throwing u#like the carver and hawke dynamic on his friendship path is sooo good that i hear aveline say that and i'm immediately ready to throw hands#btw if you're on aveline's friendship path she says 'maybe but i know you get around' instead which...........gets around where aveline???#aveline my list of beef with you grows with every playthrough i hate you but also i love you but also i want to throw you in the ocean#until you get your head out of your ass like this is a case of her being a FASCINATING character but as a person? while i'm playing ed? ugh#my lady warrior hawke adored aveline but ed is ready to fight her 24/7 sksksk
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itsnotacostume · 8 months
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yeah <3
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n7punk · 9 months
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i hate scalpers so much fr
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moe-broey · 4 months
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Also something that's fucking me up actually. Nothing of huge note is said in Tana/Peony duo's bio, but the associated characters...... they're all either someone's brother or in Eirika's case, someone whose brother is extremely significant to her esp as her twin
And. That paralogue dialogue again.
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I am. So. I'm. This HAS to be intentional WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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coquelicoq · 5 months
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Une petite houle, venue du large, imprimait au canot un léger roulis, et quelque crêtes de lames clapotaient à son avant. (Vingt mille lieues sous les mers, 2e partie, chapitre III)
today in sentences that would have made me weep quietly into my dictionary if i had read them a year ago before jules verne expanded my marine vocabulary by ~1700%.
#do u you know how long it took me to figure out 'lame' has a totally separate sea-related meaning#i was like a slat? a slat of what???????#no it's just one of the three most common words for 'wave'#(the others being vague and flot(s))#(not to mention houle of course. or remous)#(and onde but that's a different kind of wave)#now i see it and i'm like ouais ouais une lame nous tous l'avons vue#french#my posts#hey remember the first time i read a jules verne novel & was going crazy trying to figure out what 'allure' was in a nautical context#i was like i know allure means speed...but he is definitely not using it to mean speed#that's how they get you. all these normal words with normal meanings that have SPECIAL BONUS MEANINGS#as soon as you get on a boat 😩 but jules verne is like. you are going to learn these words if it kills me#and who am i to argue with a guy who really wants to teach me five different words for wave/swell?#i learned all the words for mud and manure because that was important to vicky hugo. it's the least i can do#now i'll tell you where i draw the line is learning all the names of the different species of fish. in french.#he's throwing like multiple paragraphs of run-on sentences per chapter at me that are just listing forms of marine life#i don't even know what these are in english so i'm just letting them wash over me#i've learned the ones that keep showing up over and over but most of them are so specialized they're not even in the dictionary#frenchified scientific latin ass names#very fun to pronounce but yeah i ain't committing these to long-term storage sorry
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I really do deserve a fucking apology for all the times my friends and family valued strangers on the internet and their opinions more than me
How am I supposed to be just fine with being ignored for years and years or bullied for openly liking what I like, only for those same fucking people to then turn around YEARS LATER, AFTER THE DAMAGE WAS ALREADY DONE, and be like "actually this is cool, so glad I found it" while still ignoring me. Why am I not allowed to be fucking pissed about it? Why is it considered ""gatekeepy"" when I get upset someone who deliberately ignored me for years and insulted the shit I enjoy when I asked them to get into it cuz I thought they'd like it suddenly finds interest in it because it got popular online, not because I'd been begging them to give it a chance and to listen to me for years???? Why is that not allowed????? THAT'S SUCH AN ASSHOLE MOVE, WHY IS IT 'NOT OKAY' TO BE MAD? WHY DON'T THEY GROW A SPINE AND APOLOGIZE FOR DISMISSING ME FIRST? HOW ABOUT THAT?????
#I fucking hate this it keeps fucking happening#I have a fucking LIST of all the times it's happened this is not a one time thing it's fucking reoccurring#Nothing I say will ever fucking matter to anyone not even the people who are 'supposed' to care about me#Grumble grumble#Literally showed my dad a song and he was like 'well I preferred the one that came on autoplay after'#And I was like 'oh that song? Oh you mean THAT song? OH YOU MEAN THE SONG I SHOWED YOU MONTHS AGO THAT YOU DISMISSED AND CRITICIZED?'#THAT ONE? YEAH? YEAH???#Gee I wonder why you like it NOW and not when *I* showed it to you!#UGHHHHH#Begged my friend to get into OP and he would go 'no it's too long and the art style is kinda ugly'#GUESS WHO'S NOW ASKING ME TO GUIDE HIM THRU THE ANIME CUZ OP WAS TRENDING ON TWITTER OVER THE SUMMER#UGHHHHHHHHH#Begged friends to watch Trig/un for years it was always the first anime I'd recommend anyone when they asked and was always ignored#Guess what everyone did once stampede started *trending on Tumblr*?#They certainly didn't care when I asked or when I was hyping up the trailer for stampede or literally any point before then#Nobody would ever reply to me when I talked about it#But now that it's trending on Tumblr NOW they're interested. GJSGDHDJDJDK#Happened with Pe/rso/na and Ro/tm/nt too.#Begged my middle and high school friends to get into the per/sona series. Nooo never it's sooo lame#Get made fun of for being hyped for 5's release in Calc class#Man you'd never believe who I see on Twitter as the biggest fans nowadays!!#Same with ro/tm/nt begged my friends to watch it but was dismissed and the episode I showed them heavily criticized bc it wasn't 2012#Then learn the same friend who criticized it so heavily bc he *hated it* WAS WATCHING VIDEO ESSAYS EXPLAINING WHY THE FINALE WAS SO GOOD#And there's NEVER any acknowledgement like 'hey sorry I made fun of/hated on this thing I see why you like it now'#Am I actually mental?! Would that not be the polite thing to do???#I would do that if a friend begged me to watch something and I openly dismissed them or criticized it as my reason why#And then later on I saw something online and was like 'actually...'#I would GO TO THAT FRIEND AND BE LIKE 'hey sorry I dismissed you earlier man I get why you like it now' AND THEN WE COULD TALK ABOUT IT#This isn't even about like distant acquaintences some of these people are my best friends and my roommates and my own fucking parents#People I talk to daily or near-daily. You're just not going to acknowledge what happened before??? Just expecting me to be fine with it????
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shopcat · 3 months
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just thinking thoughts trying to articulate them but re: trans names and even "stereotypical" trans names i just think it's like. luckily it's died down for now at least on here or maybe i just follow people who aren't assholes but seriously what was with that whole era where people just made fun of people's names or tongue in cheek poked fun at each other with a little too much cruelty let alone done by CIS people... like that's so weird. like i do have what i'd call a Stereotypical Trans Name in that it's unusual and "weird" to other people and it's not even actually like, the most out there or individualistic thing ever it's just kind of an old timey name that isn't as popular anymore but i chose it specifically bc it was a "proper" name. and i STILL get shit for it like all the time. and it's just like. why do people CARE...
like. i know you can't make grand sweeping generalisations for a group of people as varied as every trans person on earth but for a lot of us i'd go ahead and say your name as a trans person and even just AS A PERSON... A HUMAN BEING is an important part of who you are and ties into your identity to a degree that differs from person to person. and for a trans person specifically can be one of the only things you have for... yourself, along with pronouns, especially in online spaces/if you're not out/if you are out but struggle for whatever reason to even be given the dignity of being called YOUR OWN NAME, etc. i'm not gonna harp on about that aspect forever bc i think we all know but it's just like, in the face of that annoying tiktok cunts making a list of "every transfem is called [blank] and every transmasc is called [blank]" and there being 6k comments talking about how stupid and unserious it all is is just NASTY. like man shut the fuck up 😭
i don't find it funny like 95% of the time i think it's just like mean ... i also know people could probably read this and be like shut up you're being annoying it's not that deep but like whatever man. i think it's basic decency to not make fun of people for something that's a part of who they are especially if that identity puts them at risk which to be real can affect pretty much everyone other than white cishet christians etc at FAR worse severity/cost and i think instilling the idea that "people's names are fair game" outside of actual tongue in cheek intercommunity good faith joking around is actually Bad. not that i'm actually comparing these things bc it's not 1:1 and has different levels but still i think it comes from the same like... source. the amount of times i've had people use my own name as if it's a gotcha in anon hate is actually astronomical and half of them don't even realise they're BEING literally transphobic is crazy. i mean i've joked about it and i don't take it that seriously but it's still like, transphobic and i hate these people it just also doesn't bother me because i'm a normal person who isn't actually insecure about it and who literally cares what someone's name is. and xfiles girls love me unintentional side effect.
#🐾#like don't get me wrong i did pick the name bc i thought it WAS cute and a bit different and that made it like fun but like ?! how is that#a crime 😭😭 people naming themselves after nouns or angels or fictional characters has been happening forever first of all. and second it#just so seriously doesn't even matter#i also know that the notion of being like ''it's actually transphobic to make fun of a trans person who having a really typical western#english name'' could be weird bc like obviously they're not being targeted for THAT that's not what i'm saying it's just like. mean#to do to someone who chose their name (usually). esp if they're younger too like why are people bullying kids ... get a job ?!#i dunno... just thinkin...#also obv not comparable to you know. racism or antisemitism or antiblackbess etc and the way names being targeted there works#but it's also not like the asshole 16 year old boys on tiktok aren't also holding the same ideals#and i also don't really mean those things that are like Haha every transmasc is named [list of typical bames] though it is annoying#that's just like. well. like i said annoying. i just mean the amount of cunts who have been like is your name REALLY that#i can't believe that's your name i'd never take you seriously if that's true ... you mean that's your online name right like a pseudonym..#you don't Really go by that it's not REAL it's something you CHOSE it's not Serious#LIKE DAMN!!!! shut up 😭#also i actually have seen ppl make fun of a cultural name bc they thought it was a ''trans'' one and therefore fair game#''your name is literally [blank] 💀'' like ...?!#anywya this isn't super serious tldr it's just kinda weird hmmm...
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llycaons · 3 months
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sometimes I feel like I've overcorrected on the unhealthy relationships in media thing because there is so much nauseating bullshit out there that people present as aspirational, which is kind of a shame because a lot of the most interesting fictional relationships are absolute nightmares and it's a real gift to see them appreciated by people who understand the nuances and the appeal
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luvevee · 1 year
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It's pretty annoying having to scan basically every artist for i/cest shit in any media that has siblings because most of them hide it on alt accounts/platforms/sly tags and that's a big reason why I'm too burnt out on reblogging art
#literally the word 'pr/ship' feels so dumb to me like it's just gross shit#it's why i fell hard out of submas since if that wasn't the case the 'neutral' artists supported it/stayed quiet#like holy shit I've found a good few artists here on twitter being into that nasty shit just by scrolling#like i shouldn't have to find out on another app on accident to see the person I'm supporting caters to that garbage#'we want to be left alone and ship what we want btw we're gonna violate everyone's boundaries because fuck the purists'#imagine thinking you're a victim because you make art of i/cest and make it your entire personality to consume that media-#and then purposely get into spaces where people are uncomfortable with it/getting joy out of that#'why not reblog stuff without doing it' cuz i don't want someone's shit on my page when they're actually a garbage person#i really don't understand 'lol the purists are upset' -> 'omg they're so mean to us' just because most people aren't on their side with it#literally an anon came into my partner's inbox taunting him about touching his stuff like a 6 year old#imagine preaching 'don't like don't look' but when normal people say 'don't touch my stuff' you reverse and cry 'it's not fair'#or saying how you're proud about the gross shit you make but you have alts to hide it/lie about it like 🤨 thought you were proud of it#it's just annoying when im looking for good trigun/submas/dmc/etc art and see the person who made it ships the twins#like cool#and it ends up becoming a long list and it becomes annoying to look for art to reblog#idk I'm bitching and it's something that's gross#rosebud posting 💐
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possumkingluca · 5 months
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...And that makes 2 out of 4! I'm getting there slowly but surely Let me introduce you to.... Aero Krause! The complete bastard of a Tiefling Wildfire Druid in their Prismari uniform and their post-module homebrewed second half outfit.
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orcelito · 5 months
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dropping that half-update like Please Please Please dont bring in new readers Please i dont want even more people to disappoint with how long it's gonna take to update after this
this half-update is a gift to my preexisting readers in celebration for the 3rd anniversary. PLEASE dont get into this fic if ur a new reader. PLEASE dont do that to yourself. please, im begging you
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