sniffling and crying downloading 10 pdfs of dnd lore books so I can read about the universe so I can accurately write about it. start crying even more when I have a lore question and the reddit conversation reads like "you fucking idiot this was contradicted 15 years ago!" "idk ask your DM you can do what you want" "ACTUALLY you cannot do what you want. read THIS book--" "okay well larian plays fast and loose with the lore anyways." "kill yourself." "okay."
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Aight, I present my honkai tier list as of the end of part 1. Tier meanings may or may not be explained in the tags. Also, if I left someone important off, its cuz the template I was using was just a wall of faces and I was getting eye strain trying to sort through them
Edit: I made a mistake. Seele should be in blorbo bleebus tier
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So you know this party banter between Aveline and Carver?
Aveline: I don't like some of the people you've been associating with, Carver.
Carver: Talk to my brother/sister. He/She's the one in charge.
If you're on the rivalry path with Aveline, she says:
Aveline: Who says I don't mean him/her too? This city's full of people who are dead set on ending badly. I don't want to see you end up the same way.
I just- Aveline, you- you're so- hhhhnnnngggggg
I always rival Aveline when I play a mage, and if you think Edgar Aristide Hawke, who practically raised Carver and Bethany after Malcolm died and Leandra became a distant mother in her grief, wouldn't stop dead in his tracks at Aveline heavily implying he's a bad influence on his brother and Carver shouldn't hang around him so much since apparently Ed's someone set on ending badly...? Absolutely not.
This is another case of me wishing Hawke had the option to jump in during party banter with different options, because Ed would've chewed Aveline out for that.
Oh, and then there's:
Carver: Would asking you to stop spying on me help in the least?
Aveline: No.
Aveline...................stop it.
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Also something that's fucking me up actually. Nothing of huge note is said in Tana/Peony duo's bio, but the associated characters...... they're all either someone's brother or in Eirika's case, someone whose brother is extremely significant to her esp as her twin
And. That paralogue dialogue again.
I am. So. I'm. This HAS to be intentional WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I really do deserve a fucking apology for all the times my friends and family valued strangers on the internet and their opinions more than me
How am I supposed to be just fine with being ignored for years and years or bullied for openly liking what I like, only for those same fucking people to then turn around YEARS LATER, AFTER THE DAMAGE WAS ALREADY DONE, and be like "actually this is cool, so glad I found it" while still ignoring me. Why am I not allowed to be fucking pissed about it? Why is it considered ""gatekeepy"" when I get upset someone who deliberately ignored me for years and insulted the shit I enjoy when I asked them to get into it cuz I thought they'd like it suddenly finds interest in it because it got popular online, not because I'd been begging them to give it a chance and to listen to me for years???? Why is that not allowed????? THAT'S SUCH AN ASSHOLE MOVE, WHY IS IT 'NOT OKAY' TO BE MAD? WHY DON'T THEY GROW A SPINE AND APOLOGIZE FOR DISMISSING ME FIRST? HOW ABOUT THAT?????
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just thinking thoughts trying to articulate them but re: trans names and even "stereotypical" trans names i just think it's like. luckily it's died down for now at least on here or maybe i just follow people who aren't assholes but seriously what was with that whole era where people just made fun of people's names or tongue in cheek poked fun at each other with a little too much cruelty let alone done by CIS people... like that's so weird. like i do have what i'd call a Stereotypical Trans Name in that it's unusual and "weird" to other people and it's not even actually like, the most out there or individualistic thing ever it's just kind of an old timey name that isn't as popular anymore but i chose it specifically bc it was a "proper" name. and i STILL get shit for it like all the time. and it's just like. why do people CARE...
like. i know you can't make grand sweeping generalisations for a group of people as varied as every trans person on earth but for a lot of us i'd go ahead and say your name as a trans person and even just AS A PERSON... A HUMAN BEING is an important part of who you are and ties into your identity to a degree that differs from person to person. and for a trans person specifically can be one of the only things you have for... yourself, along with pronouns, especially in online spaces/if you're not out/if you are out but struggle for whatever reason to even be given the dignity of being called YOUR OWN NAME, etc. i'm not gonna harp on about that aspect forever bc i think we all know but it's just like, in the face of that annoying tiktok cunts making a list of "every transfem is called [blank] and every transmasc is called [blank]" and there being 6k comments talking about how stupid and unserious it all is is just NASTY. like man shut the fuck up 😭
i don't find it funny like 95% of the time i think it's just like mean ... i also know people could probably read this and be like shut up you're being annoying it's not that deep but like whatever man. i think it's basic decency to not make fun of people for something that's a part of who they are especially if that identity puts them at risk which to be real can affect pretty much everyone other than white cishet christians etc at FAR worse severity/cost and i think instilling the idea that "people's names are fair game" outside of actual tongue in cheek intercommunity good faith joking around is actually Bad. not that i'm actually comparing these things bc it's not 1:1 and has different levels but still i think it comes from the same like... source. the amount of times i've had people use my own name as if it's a gotcha in anon hate is actually astronomical and half of them don't even realise they're BEING literally transphobic is crazy. i mean i've joked about it and i don't take it that seriously but it's still like, transphobic and i hate these people it just also doesn't bother me because i'm a normal person who isn't actually insecure about it and who literally cares what someone's name is. and xfiles girls love me unintentional side effect.
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