#me: wash is a character with so much nuance and he's so complex and interesting

[agentark]

I finally watched rvb zero and it was not as bad as the internet led me to believe it would be

[norahastuff]

There’s a lot to like about The Winchesters, but I think one of the reasons it hits so hard for me is that it solves my biggest problem with the finale. Personally, I don’t have a problem with tragic endings. The season 5 finale of Spn has a tragic ending, and I think it’s a wonderful feat of storytelling. Aside from the fact that 15x20 tried to pretend it wasn’t tragic and tried to make it seem like Sam and Dean standing alone on a bridge in Heaven was a happy ending, what I hated most about the finale was they had to flatten Dean into a two-dimensional caricature of himself to do it. Aside from maybe the revelation that Dean stood outside Sam’s apartment at Stanford for hours trying to psych himself up to go in because he was nervous Sam would turn him away, there was no moment in the episode that Dean felt like the complex, nuanced character we had come to know and love over the past 15 seasons. He had no desires or characterisation beyond pie, car and Sammy. There was no sign of all the growth we’ve seen from him, no hint of his own needs, wants or sense of self. I mean, he wasn’t even allowed to interact with his own heaven before Sam showed up. Even after his death, he was never allowed to have anything that was just his. 

Look, I’ve said all this a hundred times before – if you look at my 15x20 tag, it’s basically just this sentiment repeated over and over again – so why am I saying it again now? Well, because The Winchesters is fixing that. The mission Dean is on is all his. It’s not about Sam, or pie or whatever surface level bullshit that finale tried to boil Dean down to. He’s going back to the past, he’s meddling in something insane because he sees value in it, and in the process going on a journey to understand himself better. His narration makes it pretty clear that through this quest he’s learning to contextualise his own life and feelings better. The past presents the future, after all (full disclosure, that’s an Ugly Betty episode title that I just really loved and use far too often in casual conversation), and one of the biggest hang ups in Dean’s life was that he was given this mythologised version of events and expected to believe them. Mary was this perfect saintly mother who sat at home baking cookies all day before she was brutally, and through no fault of her own, ripped away from them. John was the perfect mild-mannered husband and father who only slid into anger and obsession after he lost his perfect wife. 

Eventually Dean realises that none of that is true. Mary couldn’t cook. She was a hunter. She was involved in the circumstances that brought about her own death. She was a complicated person, and in the end he got the chance to see that knowing the real her, flaws and all, was infinitely superior to believing the white-washed fairytale about the perfect martyr that John created after she died. There’s also the fact that John was never the perfect husband or father, even before Mary’s death. We get maybe one reference to that in Spn, how in Dean’s heaven in season 5 he remembers John and Mary fighting and John moving out for a few days, but not much else. The focus is very much on how John turned into a neglectful parent and an angry man after Mary’s death. But The Winchesters is working hard to dispel that lie. John always had this anger in him. Mary even calls him out multiple times on how he’s using her and their relationship as an excuse to avoid his issues. She straight up uses those words. There are also references to how raising your kids to be soldiers and being their drill sergeant rather than their parent is one of the worst things a parent can do to their child. 

Anyway, as interesting as it is to see all these things addressed in the Spn universe, what’s so damn satisfying is seeing Dean realise it. Dean’s on a mission to learn more about his past. To understand that our parents and where we come from shapes and moulds the people we become, but it doesn’t have to define us forever if we don’t let it. By accepting his past and finding out the truth about who his parents truly were, he can accept himself and move forward, free of whatever baggage that had been dragging him down for so much of his life.

And the greatest part about all of this, is that Dean’s the one driving this story. It’s not God, or his father or even his duty to take care of Sam which dictated so much of his life and his choices before. This is about Dean’s choices and who he is as a person and what he wants. It’s funny because as little as we saw John Winchester in season 1 of Spn, he was very much the spectre hanging over the story, and the search to find him is what drove much of the plot throughout the season. Much of what his sons were doing was in reaction to him. And now in The Winchesters, Dean himself is the spectre that’s been hanging over the season. He’s the one making the big moves and steering the action. He’s the one everyone, friend and foe alike, is looking for. He’s the one who gave John the note and put this whole thing into motion. After the ending of Spn took away so much of his agency and everything that makes Dean Dean, he’s finally getting it back and then some.

I’m excited to see how the season’s going to end, but I’ll forever be happy that this show gave us Dean being his own person again. He’s the one picking the music this time.

[daturanerium]

two hundred pages (56%) into the raven boys. here are my thoughts

i love blue. she's very enjoyable and entertaining but also from a meta/technical standpoint i love how she's written as completely independent of the boys and actively thinks for herself. she's not a #girlboss, she's not love struck, she's not just along for the ride. she has her own thought processes and motivations and and genuine intelligence and she actually acts on it. she feels very real and just as much three dimensional as the boys

noah is 110% a ghost of some kind

ronan went to the church to kill himself while drunk but was saved by the Raven King and now has some sort of sick ass raven powers going on that he doesn't fully know about. or he's like (i'm so so sorry) vax of cr fame where he was saved/made a deal but now is a sort of knight/servant to the raven deity. i think he definitely knows something is different and supernatural about himself but he doesn't know any details

gansey your autism....

actually my diagnosis for all the boys are: gansey autism; ronan adhd; adam transgender; noah differently alive

this book handles rich privilege in a really direct & honest way that is super super refreshing. in an adult book it may come across as too on-the-nose but for YA i think it's perfect. it's so smart for gansey to constantly be trying to help with his money but never be able to understand the complex nuances that come along with money insecurity. the dynamic between the boys and their different relationships with money is soooo interesting to explore and this book is doing it in a way that is understandable for the YA reader (teen) while still treating the reader with respect. it's not dumbed down at all

i'm rooting for adam and blue currently.....they're cute......adam's flowers made me say "aww" out loud

every time theres a chapter with that washed up gay schoolteacher i get soooo bored noah fence. i do not care that u were Once Rich Kids Like Them <3 go touch grass or find a ley line elsewhere

i'm suspecting adam is going to do something drastic to gansey at the end in order to get the favor and secure his future/escape his home life. and you know what? if he does i'm on his side. eat the rich includes gansey unfortunately.

re: that ^^^ i will be crying when it happens

i looooove blue's mom and her aunts so dearly they're so fun and really good side characters

honestly truly this book is so well made and if i had come across it in middle/high school i wouldve been INSUFFERABLE about it

maybe blue has to kiss gansey in order for him to access the spirit plane.....hmm.........

those are some of my thoughts thus far i will keep my loyal followers updated as this journey continues

[suzannahnatters]

I have finished watching MR SUNSHINE, and there was so much that I loved about this prestige kdrama. The writing of the heroine was SO good in how it discussed and defied some of the worse kdrama-heroine tropes. There was amazingly trenchant and deeply nuanced social criticism, gorgeous cinematography, lots of fascinating history, the warmest and most positive depiction of Christianity I've ever seen in a kdrama, men who drink respect women juice, the beautiful and angsty Gu Dong-Mae, FABULOUS period clothing, and rivals in love learning to put aside their differences in favour of shooting imperialists.

But the show has a major flaw - a flaw that was particularly interesting to me, because it's the precise sort of flaw that I would be most prone to. The screenwriter, who does such brilliant work in so many other ways, is clearly most fascinated by the themes and symbolism she keeps bubbling away in the story's subtext. The problem is that these themes and symbolism - which delightfully clever - are not actually supported by the storytelling, and particularly by the characterisation.

And it's a really fun, rich, resonant bit of symbolism: Ae-Sin is not just a character in the story, she's the living embodiment of Joseon Korea. She's beautiful, desirable, noble, privileged, gradually awakening to a life of hardship and struggle and resistance. Each of the three male leads in the story has a different complicated relationship with her. Eugene has run away from Korea, but returning as an adult cannot help falling in love with the land and the people in defiance of the nobility who mistreated him as a boy. Gu Dong-mae was horribly oppressed by his homeland but cannot help loving it anyway; the Korea which oppressed both men also saved their lives through small acts of kindness. And finally, Hee-Sung, Korea's richest son, is her approved betrothed, but past injustices committed by his family against the people Ae-Sin cares about stand between them. The three men fall in love, not with Ae-Sin, but with their homeland. They express their love for the woman by sacrificing themselves for the homeland; in dedicating themselves to her, they cannot help dedicating themselves to the fight for freedom.

This is why the story had to have a sad ending. None of these men can espouse the whole country; they can only die for her, while Ae-Sin - Korea itself - lives on, alone and victorious, even in exile.

This symbolism is itself delightfully rich, deftly painted, and rewarding to think back upon once you see it. There's only one problem: it doesn't. make. sense.

From the very start of the show, I felt a little impatient with the writing because the relationships between the heroine and her three suitors are so poorly developed. The feelings come out of nowhere. Take Gu Dong-Mae, for instance: he last met this woman when she saved his life as children. Now, it just takes a brush of her dress across his fingers to get him pining madly for her. Hee-Sung, after avoiding her for the best part of a decade, gets one glimpse of Ae-Sin at the washing-line and just like that conceives an undying passion for her. The central relationship, between Ae-Sin and Eugene, doesn't fare much better. The problem is that the story demands each of the male leads to sacrifice himself for Ae-Sin by the end of the show, and I simply couldn't understand why they should. They all have multiple other women pining for them, and Ae-Sin doesn't give two of them the slightest encouragement to hope. I wanted them so badly to find happiness with one of the other women, and they never did.

What MR SUNSHINE needed was not primarily rich and complex symbolism - it was believable characterisation and relationship development. As it was, the lack of substance to the relationships cheapened the grand historical tragedy which was being told. When at the climactic moment the last of the three leads sacrifices himself for the heroine, it felt cheesy and unintentionally funny, rather than tragic.

I loved so much about this story, but the heart of it never clicked for me, and it's a crying shame that with all that budget and talent, it wasn't better written. And that, for me, will be the central tragedy of MR SUNSHINE.

[freesia-writes]

Howzer + Aurelia Ch. 21 - Fresh Start

Beginning with his shiny days, this story follows Howzer's character arc through some heartwarming romance, action, adventure, yearning, angst, and growth.

Content/Trigger Warnings for Entire Work (individual chapters not labeled): wartime peril, injury, and death; sexual assault up to kissing; relationship passion up to making out and heavy petting; sexual relationship alluded to (smut is posted separately); pregnancy, birthing trauma, and stillbirth (chapters 30-39, can be skipped and still keep up with the story).

Master List of Chapters

Word Count: 2.3k

21. Fresh Start

Aurelia woke the next morning feeling much better, save for the inescapable fuzziness that accompanies an excessive amount of sleep. There was nothing new on her datapad except a cryptic note from a sender she didn't recognize. Upon opening it, however, she felt a warm and fuzzy feeling as the words sank in.

—————————————— ENCRYPTED TRANSMISSION//0600 HRS Good morning. I hope your relentless thirst for me didn't keep you awake all night. Hope you're feeling better too. Little something on your porch for you. Meet me outside the barracks at 1900 if you fancy a walk? CC-2420//END ——————————————

Feeling a bit more optimistic, as well as intrigued, she ventured to the door. It slid open to reveal a small, unmarked box. She brought it in to her kitchen counter, slicing through the string it was tied with, and peered inside. There was a container of cold caf, a bag of dried meat, some fresh fruit, and a small pile of flowers scattered throughout. They were brightly colored, some slightly smashed, and made a fragrant mess.

Her heart swelled in her chest. He had been slowly showing little glimpses of his old self, and she was hopelessly enraptured. But it was a beautiful thing because she didn't find herself longing for the Howzer she'd known before, rather finding it a whole new delight to discover the nuances of his maturity, growth, and complexity that had developed over the years. She wondered how things would have gone if he hadn't been shipped off right after he hurt her... but that was in the past, and she felt that his apology and subsequent behavior had smoothed it over.

Scooping the flowers out into a bowl, she poured water over them and set them on the bar counter before pulling out the rest of the contents. The caf was just the perk she needed and even more of a delight since she didn't have to make it herself. She enjoyed it over ice with her breakfast, gathering her thoughts. Feeling an odd sense of simultaneous sadness and hope, she sat on the balcony with her datapad, browsing local job listings in the hopes of finding something nearby. Everything was Imperial, however, except a dishwashing position at a restaurant in Lessu. It wasn't far from her home, so she marked the location and changed into her best clothes. It was worth a try, even just to stay near Howzer if she could. There wasn't much for her back on Coruscant but disappointed and judgmental parents. So even if it meant starting back at a mundane job, she wanted to give it a shot.

***

The interview seemed to go well, and Aurelia was instructed to wait for their decision. She was afraid to go near her office in case Howzer's guess about the Pykes had been wrong, but her curiosity was getting the better of her. Slipping into a local data center, she perused the HoloNet for any news of suspicious disappearances or kidnappings. None found. Doing her best to shove down the rising anxiety, she went home to get ready to meet Howzer, taking extra care to wash and primp up a bit. He was showing interest, though in a much more subtle way than the overt suggestions he'd made the first time around. She didn't want to scare him off, but felt an unsettling amount of attraction to him, and couldn't help but want to put her best foot forward.

***

"Well you look like you feel significantly better," Howzer commented as she rather sheepishly approached him at their appointed meeting time. She had remedied her two-day bed head and donned some comfortable adventure clothes.

"I do! That was a really sweet package, by the way. Thank you," she said, looking him up and down. "I see you dressed up for our date."

He tapped the ever-present armor plate on his thigh, "Well, you know how many options I have. And I see you've decided it's a date?" A small grin curved the side of one cheek, and instead of further teasing, he offered her an arm. "I guess I'd better be on my best behavior then."

Her heart did its customary flip at his closeness and touch as she looped her arm through his, unable to resist a positively beaming smile. It seemed they had both come a long way from their endless snarky quips, though they still surfaced every now and then, and they had settled for a more gentle and honest way of relating to one another. They set off down the street, away from the capitol square, and she noticed he was equipped with a backpack.

"Are you going to tell me what's on the agenda?" she asked, "And what's in the bag?"

"Just another victory," he replied cryptically, keeping his eyes ahead, "And my helmet."

Aurelia squinted in suspicion and settled to be surprised. They continued to the edge of Lessu, where the buildings were shorter, more spaced out, and eventually dwindled into the expansive forest that reached all the way to the mountain range. It was a balmy evening, the sort that would be oppressively warm if not for the gentle breeze bringing in some fresh, cool air. The forest was unique to Ryloth in that it was punctuated by random rock formations that rose above the tree canopy like bulbous towers, craggy and twisted, with bushes and little trees sprouting off of them. The sun was still a fair bit above the horizon, as it was nearing the longest day of the year.

They walked in silence for a while, neither feeling a need to break it, just enjoying the company and closeness. The forest grew thick around them, blocking out the sunlight except for rays that broke through the canopy and streamed to the ground in sparkling beams of gold. They came to a small clearing that ended at the foot of one of the huge rock walls, reaching up into the sky beyond their view. Howzer released her arm and reached for his belt, grabbing his blaster and fixing an attachment to the end before turning to her.

"You'll need to hold on to me, if you don't mind," he said quietly, opening an arm to her with a small grin.

"Bummer," she muttered in fake disappointment, wrapping her arms around his neck as he fixed a firm hand around her waist. Snug against his armor and held securely by his strong arm across her back, she watched as he aimed his blaster straight up, closing one eye, and shot a grappling hook out of sight. With a satisfactory click, he confirmed its safety, then with a nod to her, flicked a switch on the blaster handle, sending them both streaming into the air. Aurelia couldn't hold back a gasp as they swung high up the rock wall and dropped smoothly onto a ledge that was far too narrow for any rational person to safely stay on.

"I thought the goal was adventure, not incapacitating panic," she said, holding tightly to him even though they'd landed. He freed the hook and gave her a little squeeze.

"Not there yet," he said, aiming again at another rock formation across the small valley that lay between. Another swing, this time with her eyes firmly closed, ended with Aurelia setting foot on solid ground. She opened her eyes as Howzer put the equipment away, facing an opening in the rock wall in front of her. She didn't want to look at what was behind, but took a risk and peeked over her shoulder. Her churning stomach immediately informed her that it was a bad choice, as the forest floor stretched out for miles below them. It was beautiful, but the sheer height of their perch was difficult to relax on.

Holding out his hand, Howzer smiled at her thinly veiled panic. "It's okay, we won't be near the edge anymore. Almost there."

She took his hand, tingles flying up to her shoulder, and followed him into the opening. It was a narrow passage with light coming from the other end, and a short walk revealed their final destination: a natural rock formation that created a balcony of sorts, hedged in by small bushes on either side, and slightly tilted back toward the wall behind them. There were piles of boulders forming steps, which Howzer guided her up, revealing a perfect seat to recline against. He dropped his backpack now, extricating his helmet and a large blanket, which he set up against the wall to create a cushion before sitting on it, stretching his legs out in front of him.

"Take a seat and enjoy the view," he invited, and she quickly complied, scooting up next to him with a delighted anticipation at their close proximity. She looked out at the scene before them and took in a sharp breath. The sun was lower now, with creamy golden light bathing the forest and rocks in a comforting glow. The entire vista stretched to the mountains, capped with snow and standing guard at the far end of the horizon. A colorful flock of long-tailed birds flew by, reflecting the sunlight off their vibrant red and gold feathers. It was the most beautiful sight Audelia had ever laid eyes on.

"You already won the sightseeing competition," she said, unable to tear her eyes from the mountains. "Now you're just rubbing it in."

Howzer chuckled, producing a small snack bag and a canteen from his backpack. "The tower on Coruscant had an amazing view, but the park was the place that I always felt different in. Even in my youthful obnoxiousness, that seemed to be the one spot I could relax in. I explored around Ryloth a lot after Sprint died, because I wanted to be alone. This became that sort of place for me here."

She turned to him and was met with a surprisingly intent gaze that sent a shiver down her spine. His large eyes caught the light of the sun, delighting her with the flecks of gold in his honey brown irises, and his mouth was set in a straight line. She searched for words but found nothing but a yearning desire to kiss him, to cradle his face and run her fingers through his hair. Just his presence felt electrifying, and his seemingly restrained, cordial behavior was both mystifying and alluring. She swallowed hard, grateful for the distraction of the snack bag being extended to her.

"It's beautiful," she finally said, taking the bag with a dip of her head.

"I wanted you to see it," he continued, lifting an arm to put it around her shoulders. "It felt like you and Sprint were the only ones who really saw me. I didn't realize it then." She nestled into his side, bumping her cheek clumsily into his shoulder plate and rubbing her face self-consciously. He smiled, rubbing his hand gently up and down the outside of her upper arm. She felt as though she would burst; all the worries of her uncertain future melted away in the beauty and comfort of this surreal setting.

"I felt lucky that you let me in," she admitted, giving him a little nudge, "I mean, the best-looking clone in the Republic is a hot commodity."

"Heh, I sure thought I was," he chuckled, leaning his cheek against the top of her head. She took a deep breath, soaking it all in, and realized she was completely infatuated. His scent was intoxicating, even the hint of his breath. His voice was smooth and lightly accented like all the clones, but it held an extra layer of... something. She couldn't put a finger on it. Maybe she was imagining it. Either way, she was coming to terms with the fact that she desperately wanted all of this man, and she desperately hoped he would feel the same about her. It seemed that way, but she didn't want to get ahead of herself. Her pondering was interrupted by his question, moving with his jaw against her hair.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Life."

"That's very specific."

She laughed, "I don't know what I'm gonna do. I don't want to go back to Coruscant. I can't work for the Empire. I interviewed to be a dishwasher today but am still waiting to hear."

"You'd want to wash dishes?" he asked, with a slight tone of surprise.

"I... I want to stay here," she said softly, hoping she didn't need to explain further.

"Mm," he rumbled in understanding. "Well let's see how things go."

The sun had dipped below the mountains, splashing the horizon with brilliant colors that were further accentuated by the wispy thin clouds streaked across the sky. The breeze had a bit of a chill to it now, and Aurelia curled her knees to her chest to hold in some extra body heat. Howzer reclaimed his arm, sitting up to pull the blanket out from under him, and wrapped it around her front, then, to her surprise, pulled her legs across his lap and returned his arm around her shoulders, resting his other arm across her knees to hold her snugly against him. She nuzzled her face into his neck, wanting to drown herself in the smell and touch of him, feeling absolutely content and electrifyingly exhilarated at the same time.

"You never get cold?" she asked, feeling the heat radiating from the top of his neck that peeked out from his black turtleneck base layer.

"The phase two armor is thermoregulated," he answered. "So not unless the temperatures are extreme."

"Does it feel weird to wear it all the time?"

"It's all we've ever known. We've only taken it off to shower and sleep since we were cadets, so at this point it feels weirder without it."

"Makes sense," she mused, tipping her head back a little to see the side of his face. His sharp profile was captivating, accentuated by the teal pauldron across his opposite shoulder. The scar on his cheek nearest her was a large splotch in the middle with a few curves coming off it; one reached toward his eye, the other toward his jaw, with a little offshoot toward his nose in the middle. She lifted a finger to it, gently tracing it from top to bottom. He shivered subtly at her touch, and she smiled, thrilling at his reaction that was so similar to hers.

"You never told me how you got these," she said quietly, brushing the backs of her fingers across his entire cheek, down his jaw, to the matching scar on his chin. He turned his face toward her and her stomach flipped.

"I made some brash, stupid choices and got a Twi'leki spear to the cheek that sent me face-first into a rock. Got the scars and possibly some brain damage too, but it doesn't seem that's the case."

"Well let's not assume too much," she said, smirking playfully up at him.

His lips curved into a smile, and he gazed down at her suddenly with a fondness and simmering desire that made her melt. He lifted his hand from her knees to her cheek, sitting up straighter and looking back and forth between her eyes. His warm hand cupped her face, thumb gently brushing her cheekbone, and his gaze dropped to her lips. She didn't realize she'd been holding her breath, and opened her mouth to take a quiet breath in.

He leaned in, bringing his face within inches of her own, and she thought she might explode. He paused, as if checking for permission, and she moved forward a tiny bit, using all the restraint she had to keep herself from closing the rest of the distance. His hand slid lightly down her cheek, around her ear to the back of her neck, and he brought his mouth to hers. His kiss was unfathomably tender, lips soft and silky against her own, and her heart leapt into her throat as her eyes closed. His arm was so strong around her, holding her close, and his fingers reached up into her short hair as he tilted his head a little further. It felt like an both eternity and a split second when they separated, and he leaned his forehead against hers, dropping his hand to her knees and keeping his eyes shut with a smile on his face.

"It seems you've been practicing," she whispered, and he let out an exhale of a laugh.

"Just on the mirror," he said quietly, voice slightly husky, earning a giggle from her at the mental image of that. The sensation of his lips were seared into her mind, and she took a deep breath, soaking it all in, never wanting to move. He pulled back a few inches, slowly opening his eyes. Their gazes locked, and Aurelia smiled gently, searching for anything to say that could convey the depth of her feelings in that moment. But the evening breeze picked up, blowing their hair across their faces and bringing a chill along with it, and Howzer looked up at the darkening sky.

"It gets pretty cold up here, and both gutkurrs and lyleks come out at night... We should head back," he said with a regretful sigh.

"Only if you promise to do that again," she said softly, "As soon as possible."

"I think that could be managed," Howzer answered, giving her cheek one last lingering caress. 

.

Next Chapter

[syeunko]

Great Circle

In an effort to document more of my reads, I will post at least one book review a month. My January read~

Synopsis: "At a young age, Marian Graves becomes obsessed with flying, and she’ll do whatever it takes to get into the sky and circumnavigate the globe, including forging a relationship with a wealthy bootlegger. She knows her dream will come at a cost, but just how much is she willing to give up? Fast forward 100 years, and Hadley Baxter is remaking herself in Hollywood as the role of Marian Graves in a Hollywood bio-epic."

My rating: 4/5. I found Marian's story to be more interesting, and all the flying details bogged down the momentum of the novel for me, but the writing was good and I appreciated the nuanced depictions of both characters' complexity. (one more so than the other)

“He is a quiet drunk but an ardent one.”

"Bravery at the poles seems appealingly simple. If you go there, or try to, you are brave."

"'I told you I have a sister? Kate? I wish I could hold her life in my hands like an egg, make everything good for her. It's a burden - the wish itself, and the fact it's impossible.' 'That's what I mean. Things might be better without anyone to worry about.' He leans forward, his folded arms sliding on the table. 'That's not true. That would be the most terrible loneliness.'"

"People thought being twins made them the same, but it was balance, not sameness, she felt with him. That night in their cots on the sleeping porch, she asked, 'Why do you think he gambles? we'd be fine for money if only he wouldn't.' 'I don't think he means to,' came Jamie's voice in the dark. 'I don't think he can help it.' 'You wouldn't think it'd be so hard to stop throwing your money away.' 'I think he's after the thrill.' 'What thrill? He never wins.' 'And if he quits he never will, either. I think he likes to hope.' 'Hope shouldn't be so expensive.'

"True, she would likely abandon him one day soon, but he would rather endure that loss than inflict it."

“I’d like to think I will remember this particular moon, seen from the particular angle of this balcony on this night, but if I forget, I will never know that I’ve forgotten, as is the nature of forgetting. I’ve forgotten so much—almost all I’ve seen. Experience washes over us in great waves. Memory is a drop caught in a flask, concentrated and briny, nothing like the fresh abundance from which it came.”

“I want love but not a wife, not yet. I want drink but not dissolution. I want momentum but not to careen. I suppose what I want is some kind of equilibrium, but I suppose I want the thrill of tipping back and forth, too. Do you know what I mean? Maybe not—you’ve always been one for single-minded pursuit. ”

“My brother, an artist, said what he wished to convey in his paintings was a sense of infinite space. He knew this task to be impossible, as, even if a canvas could accommodate such a concept, our minds seem incapable of grasping it. But he said he believed, most of the time, that an unachievable intention was the worthiest kind. My flight has as its stated intention a plain and, I believe, achievable goal, but that intention has arisen from my own inherently unachievable desire to understand the scale of the planet, to see as much as can be seen. I wish to measure my life against the dimensions of the planet.”

“'I’ll let you go in the morning. You know I will.' 'It’s as easy as that?' 'It doesn’t matter what’s easy,' he said. 'There’s just what you do and what you don’t do.'”

"She surprises herself with her own earnestness as she reaches up to grip Marian’s shoulders, shakes her gently as she says, “You must do everything you can to remember. Not just what you see, but what it means. To you.”

"It doesn’t make sense,” she says to Eddie from inside her sleeping bag, “but sometimes my brother’s death gives me courage. I catch myself thinking that if he could die, if he could endure it, so can I, though obviously I have no choice, and it’s not something anyone endures. In fact it’s the opposite.”

"And yet, and yet, and yet."

"She’d told him, in Hawaii, that she envied how he’d found a place that quelled his restlessness. She had not thought she would ever find such a place for herself, but in New Zealand, she does. Perhaps her peace is inherent to the land, or perhaps she has simply exhausted herself. She longs to fly an airplane again, but she doesn’t long to see over the horizon. And she feels she must make sacrifices in atonement for her survival, for leaving Eddie. She will not fly. She will not know Jamie’s daughter."

"And then I must have slipped back into being Marian Graves because, for a second, I felt free."

[kseniyagreen]

The drama Beyond Evil as a philosophical parable about human relationships.

The drama begins in the spirit of the classic detective story. A young policeman, Han Joo Won, arrives in the small provincial town of Manyang, the place where a murder took place 20 years ago and remains unsolved. Han Joo Won is talented, educated and has connections at the very top - his father is deputy chief commissioner of police. Han Joo Won is also full of enthusiasm, bordering on obsession, to solve a case that his father never solved. According to the laws of the genre, we have a limited number of suspects connected by a long history of relationships, keeping their own and other people's secrets. And the biggest secret seems to be Han Joo Won's partner, police officer Lee Dong Sik. Twenty years ago, he was arrested on suspicion of the murder of his sister, but released for lack of evidence.

The plot of Beyond Evil is well twisted, and a new intrigue is revealed behind each denouement. But at the same time, already in the first episodes, I felt that Beyond Evil could be more than just a good detective. And I was not wrong.

From the very first episodes, we plunge into the drama, like into a fabulous whirlpool. We get to know the life of a provincial town. We watch Lee Dong Sik intently, trying to figure out what is behind his extravagant behavior.  Shin Ha Kyun in this role masterfully  balances on the border of light and shadow, sober calculation and madness. In the meantime, we are wondering who he is - a "fallen angel" or a bright angel who fell from a height and broke his wings. We look into the faces of all the heroes, trying to determine which of them is the monster. And gradually we are imbued with the mesmerizing  beauty of this world and its inhabitants. 

At first, Han Joo Won was perceived as an outsider. "Young master" in an expensive suit, completely alien among the ordinary people of Manyang. And it's not just about social status. Han Joo Won chose this role for himself - an independent observer who looks from above at the ugliness of this world and does not touch the dirt. However, the further he progresses in his research, the more personal it becomes, and the mask of equanimity slips from his face. This is how a classic detective story turns into a psychological journey - to feelings and memories walled up in the basements of the soul, into a journey to someone else and to oneself. Because these two processes always go together - to find yourself, you need to see the other and be seen. Find your own reflection in the other person's eyes. 

The drama Beyond Evil is a real maze of reflections. Each significant event, the history of each hero has its own reflection. Some of them are false, some of them are true, but all these fragments, put together, allow you to see the truth. There is such a method of image restoration - from several dull and even distorted reflections, you can recreate a real image.  We recognize heroes by the way they are reflected in each other. And each new meeting, each new dialogue is another step towards finding a real face. This approach makes the image of each character multidimensional and deep.

The drama really captures all aspects of the relationship. Family relationships – healthy or toxic. Relations with oneself, relationships with the world, social relationships - the law and its implementation. Morality as the ability to contact. Breaking up relationships like disappearing. The attitude towards the deceased loved ones and the ways of dealing with loss, with death. Relationships are alive, supportive and healing. Relationships are codependent, burdensome and suffocating. Personality always lives in a relationship. Fencing off from the world, a person cuts off a part of himself and, ultimately, can completely die as a person. This is how a person turns into a monster.

“Everyone in the city is like one family,” says Han Joo Won of the residents of Manyang. And he is absolutely right. All heroes are connected to each other by a whole network of threads. But somewhere these are the supporting threads of life, and somewhere they are suffocating fetters. The family image is central to the drama. Everything begins with it - everything ends with it. For each of the heroes, this word means something different - a project, a burden, a duty, a dream of absolute happiness. But for everyone, it carries a lot of weight. Thus, a small town turns out to be a global metaphor for a community, a social family, in which our humanity is born, but sometimes dies. The density of connections and meanings in the drama is so great that not only each character, but the whole world of the drama is felt as something living, animated. The city of Manyang is not just a place of action, but an independent character. The whole city, as an integral living system, exists according to its own laws. The Beyond Evil story is the story of Manyang's illness and healing.

What's also great about the Beyond Evil is that there is no moralizing in it. Despite the great semantic load, the author does not reduce everything to one idea, does not teach, but shows reality in its complexity, even paradoxicality. Each character is a part of a big picture, an element of the inner life of an integral system. But also everyone is a separate unique person, with their own choice and responsibility for this choice. The story of the Beyond Evil is the story of Manyang, but it’s just as much the story of two people meeting. It is no coincidence that all the main scenes are "doubled". If you look at the titles of the episodes, you can see that the pairing is "sewn" into the very structure of the script. As if the whole story is a long dialogue between two, a series of questions and answers. Each character in the drama is interesting. Each has its own story, its own drama, its own unique personality. But the main axis of the whole story is the meeting and dialogue of the two main characters.

Lee Dong Sik and Han Joo Won, so different, but equally extraordinary, strong in spirit, but practically buried under the rubble of their own psychological trauma. Throughout the drama, they continually drift apart and collide, let go and catch each other, meeting again each time on a deeper level. They go a long way from mutual irritation, exploitation, projecting their fears and expectations onto each other, to true mutual understanding. Throughout the entire drama, the characters stare at each other - with suspicion, with rage, with interest, admiration, tenderness. But invariably - with intense attention, as if looking for something very important in each other's eyes. And in the end they find and return to each other the opportunity to be themselves - whole, feeling, alive. In my opinion, Beyond Evil, like no other drama, showed us an example of perfect human contact. At that difficultly attainable level, when you see and accept another as he is, in his true essence. The bromance of the main characters of the Beyond Evil is so beautiful that it overshadowed all the drama love lines for me. In fact, this is a "love story" - like the love of one soul for another soul. Someone sees them as a mentor and student. Someone sees them as father and son or even as a couple in love. In my opinion, we were specially shown these relations at such a level of generalization that each viewer is free to interpret them in his own way. For me, they are the embodiment of the idea of an existential meeting, beyond any categories.

The Beyond Evil is a theatrical chamber drama. But this simplicity of the means has a deep meaning. The real challenge for an artist is to show everyday reality as something magical, wonderful, and sometimes monstrous. And the Beyond Evil succeeded to create a heroic epic in the scenery of a small provincial town, where a butcher's shop, the basement of an old house or a reed field feel like a mystical place. Where dramatic battles and wonderful metamorphoses take place in the dialogues between the characters. Magic is created in the Beyond Evil, not taking away from reality, but immersing it in it. This is the fantasy world that really exists - in the space of the human psyche, in relationships between people.

This is a huge burden on the actors. They don't just need to play their characters, the actors pretty much create the world and atmosphere of the drama. And they also need to show the development and even the rebirth of their characters. Many characters in the drama wear masks. But in the end all the masks will be removed, ripped off or washed away by the rain. And under someone's mask we will find a monstrous grin, and under someone's - a beautiful face. Shin Ha Kyun and Yeo Jin Goo play characters whose faces change throughout the drama. In each new episode, they experience new trials, different emotions, but their eyes express not only situational emotions, but also profound personality changes. In some scenes, they need to act so subtly that it is like walking on a tightrope. A slightly different expression - and the impression would be wrong. But the actors are perfect in every shot.

The talent of all the participants has created an amazing artistic world. It's like the famous Doctor Who machine - more inside than outside. And you can dive into this depth over and over again, finding new nuances and meanings.

[baiwu-jinji]

Hello! Has anyone ever asked you who your favorite MXTX characters are?

Hi! I’d say it’s Xie Lian and Luo Binghe. It’s kinda difficult to say why exactly I like them so much, and I’ll just try to explain what I find interesting about these two ><

I was first drawn to Xie Lian’s character because probably no other fictional character has ever reminded me so strongly of the fact that comedy and tragedy are two sides of the same coin. The way mxtx writes about Xie Lian’s certain experiences seamlessly combines a comic tone with the underlying tragedy of the events. One example is chapter 28 where Xie Lian passed out on the battlefield from being trampled, and his unconscious body was thrown into the river. But we didn’t get a lament about Xie Lian’s misfortune or anything close to being elegiac; we got “Xie Lian was washed down the river like a cluster of garbage back to the nation of Yong An.” Xie Lian isn’t your usual tragic hero that falls in battle nobly and with dignity; instead he gets washed away like garbage and is flattened into a human pancake when he falls from high places or gets trampled on. Another example is in the same chapter where Banyue said that Xie Lian got flattened, and Xie Lian was like “well I wasn’t entirely flat”…The way Xie Lian phrased it is honestly pretty funny in the Chinese original, and it has the same vibe as those Tom and Jerry cartoons where Tom is flattened and bounces back again. These instances often make Xie Lian appear comical, but we all know that behind the comedy is a history of the most excruciating pain.

Besides the tragicomedy element and the fact that certain aspects of Xie Lian’s experience really resonate with me, I love Xie Lian also because he’s just a very well-written character. And when I say Xie Lian is well-written, I’m especially referring to the period of Xie Lian’s downfall where he lost everything and messed everything up and was on the brink of despair and insanity. It’s probably easier to write about a character in a stable state of mind and with a stable set of values and beliefs, and much much harder to write about a character who’s undergoing fundamental change and whose world is being turned upside down. Xie Lian after his fall from grace belongs to the latter kind, yet the way mxtx delineated Xie Lian’s struggles is so nuanced, detailed and believable.

Ok let’s talk about Luo Binghe…I feel like there’s a running theme through mxtx’s novels which is that, even if you’re the smartest and strongest, life can still screw you over and break you in so many ways, and you’ll never be invulnerable as long as you’re human. And who better embodies this theme than Luo Binghe?...There’s a contrast between the strength and power that Luo Binghe is gifted with and his profound vulnerability, and Binghe’s vulnerability just makes me feel an undue amount of sympathy for him.

What I find interesting about Luo Binghe is his many dualities. Binghe has a deep earnestness yet he lies without batting an eye (one of the many symptoms of his engrained emotional insecurity); there’s an aspect of Binghe’s personality that’s gentle and tender, but he’s also prone to extremities (Shen Qingqiu said that he took a liking to Gongyi Xiao because he has the same gentle demeanour as Binghe; Binghe’s extremities I don’t need to explain…) There’s also a duality he inherited from his parents. This is probably not in the English translation, but mxtx said in the notes to an extra chapter that Binghe inherited the girly sensitivity and sentimentality from his dad, and the wild and domineering part of his personality as well as a sort of dark charisma from his mom (“少女心来自爹，邪魅狂狷来自娘”). All these dualities are naturally integrated into Binghe’s complex character.

What’s also interesting about Binghe is that his personality is, in a sense, unformed or still forming. In the extra chapter where Shang Qinghua interviewed Binghe and Shen Qingqiu, Shang Qinghua asked what they think their own personalities are, and Binghe replied “I don’t know.” In the past, Binghe’s personality was largely formed in response to trauma and abuse, and there wasn’t much room for self-exploration and self-awareness. But now Binghe needs to figure out who he really is and what kind of person he wants to be, and I appreciate this room for growth.

[renaerys]

22. for reds 🤡

This is 100% not what you asked for (yet...👀), but I give you part 1 of what we're calling the Weird King AU. I'm turning this into a proper multi-chapter High School fic because I love you and I'd jump on any bandwagon for you.

xxx

Like most young, conventionally attractive Supervillains, Brick had made a bit of a habit of failing upwards. It was pretty easy in a town full of simpering morons content to project their own narrative assumptions onto him, and who was he to crush their dreams when they made his life a little easier?

For example, dating.

“You can tell me, you know.” His cute date, Tracy, sipped her milkshake across from him.

“Tell you what?”

She softened and reached her hand across the table. “Your tragic backstory. I’ll listen without judgment, I promise.”

Brick tried to think of something tragic, but it all seemed pretty underwhelming as far as Supervillain origin stories went. “You mean like how I was born in a toilet?”

She made an oh shape with her lips. “We all have those days where we feel like we were born in a toilet, Brick.”

He’d dated Tracy for three months before she broke up with him out of the blue in tears: sorry she couldn’t fix his baggage, she just wasn’t strong enough to handle all that tortured darkness, but she wished him nothing but health and happiness. Brick deleted her number from his phone and spent twenty whole minutes staring at the toilet in his bathroom, wondering what the lesson here was.

But everything changed when Mojo got out of prison and moved Brick and his brothers back to Townsville, where he enrolled them in the local high school alongside their former arch nemeses, the Powerpuff Girls.

Suddenly, everything Brick did pre-supposed ill intent. These people remembered him as the pest who had graffitied their local monuments and blown up their cars and endangered their children. They held no love for him, and at best they feared him. This was not Citiesville, where he’d been a tall, cold glass of Voss water in a sea of recycled Dasani.

He found himself thinking about his birthing toilet again as he stepped into the cafeteria alone and the conversation quieted down as his new classmates watched him from the safety of their tables. His next moves here were critical. He was no longer at the top of the food chain, but fear and mystery surrounding his origins and character gave him a certain power over his peers.

“Yea, though I walk through the valley of social suicide, I will fear no cringe,” he said to himself.

The jocks were out. Capable though he may be, Brick was not much of a team player unless there was a blood contract involved requiring his participation on pain of satanic torture. The drama kids were also a hard pass, not because he thought drama was lame, but because they had barely noticed him walk in, and Brick did not have the energy to deal with people more self-involved than himself. Some of the unaffiliated tables could be safe, but without a good understanding of the nuanced social dynamics in the high school, he could be heading toward irreversible doom, and that was a risk he was not willing to take.

He saw his salvation just ahead. It was the only option, all else being equal. In an environment where he couldn’t be certain of his baseline status and potential for upward mobility, there was greatness to be had only by association and certainty only in the devil he knew.

Brick helped himself to the empty seat directly across from Blossom Utonium to a chorus of gasps and staring.

Blossom did not startle like her table mates had. She watched him critically behind a head full of bangs as she balanced her soup spoon in her hand. “Really.”

Brick unwrapped the burrito he’d purchased in the lunch line and brandished it before him. “Really.”

He took a bite of the burrito. It was not hot enough. The two girls to Blossom’s left whispered to each other about that bad boy and he’s hot, though.

Blossom daintily spooned soup into her mouth without spilling a single drop as she continued to watch Brick for signs of his imminent dark side transformation.

The guy next to Brick was brave enough to ask him what his next class was. Brick had a mouth full of disappointing burrito, so he passed the guy the printout of his class schedule in lieu of answering.

“Wow, all APs, huh? Hey, we’re in U.S. History together next period, nice. I’m Mike Believe, by the way. Brick Jojo, right?”

Brick didn’t answer him immediately on account of the burrito currently occupying his mouth hole, and Mike took it the wrong way.

“Oh, yeah, we all know who you are. Blossom sort of filled us in.” He winced like he’d inadvertently revealed a terrible secret.

Brick swallowed his food and washed it down with a gulp of water. “Saves me some time.”

Mike looked super relieved. “For sure! Hey, I could lend you my notes if you want to catch up. Gershwin’s giving a quiz on the Progressive Era on Friday, and she’s a hard-ass who definitely won’t care that you just transferred…”

Brick chewed on his lunch as Mike continued to talk at him about classes and other vaguely helpful, albeit uninteresting, information. But Mike seemed normal enough, a little chatty but not in an overeager sort of way. Blossom was no longer clocking his every move and seemed to be absorbed in her friend’s latest swim team cheating scandal, until Brick reached for his water bottle and she suddenly laser-focused on his wandering hand.

Her keen attention to him was honestly flattering, if expected. It was in his nature to be noticed, and in this narrow respect she was no different from anyone else whose head he turned. If she chose to feed her interest with the flames of suspicion, then it was no difference to him.

But if she was anything like him—and on a chemical level she was probably the closest to him that a person could get—he suspected it took tremendous effort to hold her full and sustained attention. The world they inhabited was as vapid and mundane as the humans that surrounded them, and even the most gracious of gods grew bored of worship. Which explained all the smiting and fucking and generational curses upon entire households in everything from Greek mythology to the Old Testament.

Brick was pretty deep into a fantasy of Blossom going full Ixion and the Wheel on the swim team when Mike tapped his shoulder. “You ready to go?”

It took him a moment to realize the bell had rung and he had a class to get to—AP U.S. History with Mike, apparently. Brick gathered his tray and his bag and followed Mike. When he looked back at the table, Blossom was already gone.

xxx

That whole first week was painfully boring. No one bullied him, or pranked him, or picked a fight with him, of course. But no one really approached him, either. His brothers were more determined to make an effort. Boomer announced he was trying out for the soccer team because there was no rule saying a Super with extremely well documented ties to active criminals and the forces of Hell couldn’t kick a ball around a field. Butch had gotten himself invited to a midnight screening of Snakes on a Plane in some rich kid’s home movie theater, but only after that same kid had accidentally spilled milk on Butch and burst into tears in front of a cafeteria full of Juniors and Seniors. Brick declined the invitation Butch extended to him. He had that AP U.S. History exam to study for on Friday, anyway.

He shared all of his classes with Blossom. Even in the classes where her assigned seat was behind his and he couldn’t see her, he could feel her lobotomizing stare at the back of his head whenever she glanced up from her notebook. And while Mike’s notes were perfectly adequate and the friendly gesture counted for more than the content (a gesture Brick would not soon forget), there was a far more efficient way to accomplish his goal of murdering the class averages while also taking the edge off his loner doldrums.

“Can I borrow your class notes?”

Blossom rose from her seat and pulled her hair tie out to re-do her extremely long ponytail. She held the elastic between her teeth as she worked. Her teeth were very straight, he noticed. Some pretty nice girl-teeth, generally speaking.

“Which class?”

“All of them.”

He watched her wind the elastic around her hair with quick, adroit fingers. “That’s a lot of notes.”

“You’re the top of every class. No point in asking anyone else.”

She moved toward the hall. He followed her out. “Why would I help you?”

A legitimate question delivered without venom. Unlike her sister Buttercup, who’d “run into” Brick after school on Monday and told him to watch his back, Blossom didn’t have to do anything but maintain a general proximity to make her superiority complex known. Which was the kind of flex he could fuck with.

“Isn’t helping people sort of your mandate?”

They had arrived at her locker, which she opened with enough force to rattle the hinges. “I help the helpless. Are you helpless, Brick?”

Brick smiled at her baiting. Had she ever actually said his name at a normal volume before? It sounded good even in her baseline bitch timbre. “Critically helpless. I’m the new student who transferred in the middle of the semester, and you’re the only person who knows me.”

A couple other students clearly trying to get to the lockers Brick was blocking hovered just out of reach. They whispered to each other, but neither of them actually worked up the courage to ask Brick to move. He ignored them.

Blossom rummaged in her locker for the binder she would need for the next class. “Make friends.”

“Working on it.”

The locker door slammed and she faced him. There was something confrontational in the way she held herself before him that kicked him in the nuts back in time thirteen years to their more uncouth days when all he wanted to do was destroy her so he’d be the only one. Now they were older and wiser and he actually did need her notes to study, so destroying her was not high on his list of priorities.

“You want to be my friend.”

“We have so much in common.”

“So do lions and hyenas.”

“Both are apex predators, so.”

She took a step closer and peered up at him. Brick did not move, although he wondered what was so interesting about his face. She probably just thought he was hot. She was probably as bored as he was. She probably—

“You have lettuce in your teeth.”

Brick pulled back and covered his mouth on instinct. God fucking damnit.

Blossom was already walking away from him by the time he’d picked the food from his teeth. “I’ll expect my notes back in mint condition before first period tomorrow morning.”

Brick pressed a fist against the lockers and quietly fumed. “Dumbass…”

“Um, sorry, but do you mind…?”

The student who’d been waiting for her locker space to clear up had her palms up as if to assuage a feral stray. Brick pushed off the lockers, but his fist left a dent where he’d unleashed some of his impotent self-pity. He looked back at the girl, and she shook her head.

“It’s fine! It, uh, it happens sometimes.” She pointed a couple lockers down to Blossom’s, which was dinged up worse than the others.

Brick stared at Blossom’s locker, and then back at the girl. Her narrow, dark eyes were wide, but not out of fear. She was waiting for something, and like an idiot it took him a moment to catch up. “You’re trying to make me feel better about fucking up your locker.”

She laughed nervously. “I mean, it’s really fine! You just looked so miserable for a second there, and I just thought…”

Great, he was moping so hard he had an audience.

The five minute warning bell rang, and a flood of students rushed past them on their way to fourth period. Brick stepped aside so the girl could get to her locker.

“Hey, you’re the new guy, right?”

The new guy, yeah. How quaint. Except, she was waiting for a response, which wasn’t the absolute worst thing that had happened to him all week.

“Brick,” he said. But of course, she already knew that, and she was just being nice.

“I’m Kim. Kim Chan.”

“Okay.” He didn’t have anything else to say to her, so he decided to get his shit and get to his next class.

“Welcome back to Townsville, Brick.”

Brick shoved his hands in his pockets and stalked off. It didn’t occur to him until later that Kim was the first and only person who had properly welcomed him back home.

[ladyloveandjustice]

Spring 2021 anime overview: Quick Takes

Now for my Spring 2021 anime thoughts! I’ve decided from now on if a season’s like, 20- to-24 episodes I’m just going to wait ‘til it’s done to review it unless I feels super passionately, so though I watched To Your Eternity (it’s good!) and MHA (eh), I’ll comment on them next time. Also, for the record, I watched the first eight eps of Joran: Princess and Snow of Blood but I dropped it because it had clearly crossed the line from entertainingly dumb to boring dumb. 

I will probably give Supercub and some other stuff a shot later, this was a stacked season! May give updates on all that later, but this is what I have for now.

ODDTAXI

Quick Summary: A mild mannered middle-aged walrus taxi driver is drawn into a case involving a missing girl, yakuza, Youtube clout-chasers, manzai comedians and idols with big secrets.

It’s rare to walk away from media and be like “that is a singular experience I will definitely never see repeated again” but ODDTAXI is definitely one of those. A tense noir thriller murder mystery starring cartoon animals that spends an entire episode detailing the one (cat)man’s very fall into darkness triggered by addiction to gacha games and an online auction for a novelty eraser? Also there’s a porcupine Yakuza who speaks entirely in rap? Also there’s tons of meandering conversations about stuff like manzai comedy and the struggle to go viral on Twitter?

Admittedly, I had a hard time getting into the first episode, the dry meandering humor not being enough to hold my attention while I was sitting still, but once I watched this while I was working out at the end of the season, I found it an easy binge. A ton of characters with dark secrets or dangerous ambitions, each with their own part to play in a tableau of intersecting events- and it all actually comes together really well.(As for the female characters, it’s a pretty dude driven story, but they do get nuanced characterization and even some good heroic moments from one of them.)

 It’s a great example of a carefully planned narrative paying off, with all the twists appropriately seeded and foreshadowed to reward viewers who paid attention. Even when it ended on a perfect “OH SHIT” moment and denied me closure, I couldn’t help but respect it. If you that all sounds interesting to you, definitely check out the first couple episodes and see if you like it- you’re likely to have a memorable, satisfying experience!

Shadows House

Quick Summary: Emilyko is a ‘living doll’ who’s told she was created to act as the ‘face’ of her shadow master, Kate. The shadows and their ‘dolls’ all reside on the mansion and are required to pass a ‘debut’ to prove they’re a good pairing. If they don’t pass, they might be disposed of. And so the mystery of the Shadow mansion grows...

This slice of gothic intrigue was my favorite of the season, tied with ODDTAXI. With an interesting premise, slightly tense undertones and a strong focus on character building and relationships, it kept me hooked the whole way through. And for any squeamish fans put off by the hype about it, don’t worry, while there are some suspenseful elements, I wouldn’t qualify it as horror. I thought the relationship between Kate and Emilyko might end up being a completely sinister one, but it’s thankfully a lot more complex than that and it’s really interesting to follow how both their characters and relationship grow. The focus of the show is, unsurprisingly, on the “dolls” slowly discovering their autonomy and personhood as they struggle under the rigid system imposed on them by the mysterious elders of this weird Victorian mansion. Can they develop a more equitable relationship with their shadow “masters” (who are also shown to suffer under this system)? There’s a lot to dig into there, and the show has the characters develop through learning to understand and appreciate each other, which is pretty heartwarming. Our hero, Emilyko, is the typical plucky ball of sunshine (they even nickname her sunshine), but she’s also shown to be clever in her own off-the-wall way and she bounces off the far more subdued and cynical Kate well, not to mention the other ‘dolls’ she ends up befriending. 

What’s more, the show spends plenty of time to developing several other character pairings and combinations, and they all have their own interesting dynamic that makes you want to see more of them. Same-gender bonds are at the forefront of this show, and many of them are ripe for queer readings (I definitely appreciated the healthy helping of ladies carrying ladies), but even outside that it’s nice to see a show where a strong, complex bond between girls is at the forefront. My only real complaints about the show are the anime original ending is noticeably a bit rushed (though it’s not too bad, and leaves room for a season 2) and I wish the animation used the whole “shadow” theme more strikingly (like the opening and endings do)- instead the colors are a bit washed out which makes the shadows blend into the background sometimes. The “debut” arc also drags a bit in places, but it makes up for it by having a lot of good character integration.

I hope to check out the (full color)! manga soon and see more of this quirky, shadowy story. There’s some physical abuse depicted, sad things happening to characters and naturally the whole “oppressive familial system” thing, but otherwise not much I can think of to warn about. I give this one a big rec, especially If you’re a fan of gothic fairytales and stories of self discovery.  

Zombie Land Saga Revenge

Quickest summary: In this sequel season, everyone’s favorite zombie idol group must claw their way back into prominence after a disastrous show- the fate of the Saga prefecture LITERALLY depends on it!

This was a fun follow-up to the first season- if you liked the first zombie-girl romp, you’ll probably enjoy this one. In fact, there were a couple areas it improved on- namely, Kotaro failed, ate crow and embarrassed himself a lot more this season, which made him more likeable (as did the fact the girls gained a lot of independence from him). This season also shed more light on what the ‘goal’ of this zombie raising project is and what kind of shit Kotaro got involved with to make this happen, and it’s appropriately off-the-wall and ridiculous. We finally got some backstory for Yugiri too! I wish it had focused on more of her interiority, but she got to be a badass in it, and it was a treat to see this zombie idol show turn into a period piece for a couple episodes (also her song ruled).

 Tae also got a cute focus episode and there was a particular SMASHING performance early on! Also That revelation last season that had the potential to turn creepy hasn’t yet, and hopefully never will. The finale was heartwarming with big hints of more drama to come- I’m definitely down for more zombie hijinks!

Vivy: Flourite Eye’s Song

Quickest Summary: A songstress AI named DIVA (nicknamed Vivy) is approached by another AI named Matsumoto, who says he’s from the future and they must work together to prevent AI exterminating all of humankind 100 years from now.

This show is absolutely gorgeous visually with some really nice action scenes, but when it comes to the story my feelings basically amount to a shrug. It’s fine! I guess! Vivy starts out as an interesting layered character- and I guess still is by the end- with her stoic but stubborn determination bouncing off her fast-talking bossy partner Matsumoto well. She never listens to him, which is delightful. The way the show took place over the course of 100 years was an interesting conceit as well. However, it bought up a lot of themes and then sort of... dropped them. For instance, Vivy interprets her mission (PRIME DIRECTIVE if you will) as protecting humans at all costs, no matter how destructive said humans are or what their fate is supposed to be, and is perfectly willing to murder her fellow androids to do this, showing she inherently thinks of androids (herself and her own people!) as less worthy. Which is a little alarming! There’s a very dramatic point in the show where they bring this up as a potential conflict for her character but then it’s sort of...dropped. Pretty much.

Actually, despite the premise, the show doesn’t dip into the “AI rights” as much as you think it would with the main theme being more about Vivy’s search to find her own creativity and discover what it means to ‘pour your heart into something’. Vivy herself doesn’t actually care if she has rights or anything. Which is in some ways fine, because ‘AI as an oppressed class’ has been done to death, but IT’S ALSO KIND OF IN THE PREMISE, so that means that the show just shrugs really hard at a lot of the questions it brings up  basically just going “humans and AI should work together probably” and that’s it. There’s a lot that feels underexplored. The antagonists in the show also either have motivations that don’t really make sense or have boring hackneyed motivations. In the finale in particular, it feels like a lot of things happen “just because” and it falls a little flat.

I also have to warn that one of the arcs focus on a robot ‘pairing’ where the dude-coded robots actions toward his partner are straight up awful and rob her of her autonomy, but it’s played like a tragic love story. I suppose you could read it differently too, but it definitely made me go ‘ew’ the story seemed to want me to sympathize with this robo dude,

Overall, I wouldn’t anti-recommend this show, it’s an all right little sci-fic romp (and definitely SUPER pretty). My favorite element was definitely the episodes where Vivy develops an entirely new (an loveable) personality, because it played with the idea of of an AI getting “rebooted” really well and interplay between her two “selves” was done really well. But there are a lot of other parts of the show that just feel...a little underexplored and empty, making me have an ‘eh’ feeling on the show overall. It’s definitely an ambitious project, and while it didn’t quite stick the landing, there’s something to be said for a show that shoots for the stars and falls short over a show that just languishes in mediocrity.

Fruits Basket The Final

Quick summary: The final season of that dramatic drama about that weird family with a zodiac curse and the girl who loves them.

It’s very weird that after not cutting a lot out, they kinda sped through some material for, you know, the finale. I guess they thought they couldn’t stretch this final arc to 26 episodes? Or weren’t cleared for another double cour? However, though there were a couple places that felt awkward, despite being a bit condensed it mostly held together pretty well for a D R A M A T I C and ultimately heartwarming conclusion. I was really disappointed they kept the part where Ritsu cut their hair for the ‘happy ending’, I thought  their intro episode not showing them in men’s clothes meant the anime had decided their presentation didn’t need to be “fixed” but WELL I GUESS NOT. That was the only big upset for me though, otherwise the adaptation went about how I expected, sticking to the source material. Furuba has a lot of bumps, from weird age gap stuff to ...gender, but it also has a lot of important feels and great character arcs. It was a gateway shoujo for many and has its important place in animanga history, so I’m glad it finally got a shiny, full adaptation.

[sitp-recs]

Super Rich Kids by @thusspoketrish

Harry/Draco, Draco/Other(s) (2020, Explicit, 81k)

Draco Malfoy has become disillusioned by the glitz and glamour of the scandalous lives of the Post-Second Wizarding War Pureblood Elite. Enter: one existential crisis, one group of thieving cynical friends, and several terrible, terrible decisions.

Draco’s not sure if he has a soul anymore and if he does, it’s probably damaged beyond repair after receiving the Mark—but he knows deep down in the pit of him, it’s disgusting to think that anyone on the wrong side of the war should feel this free. Draco carries his crimes with him like a stench, never able to fully wash away the smell. He’ll carry it with him until he’s on his deathbed, maybe even into the afterlife, because he never wants to forget what he did.

I finally got around to reading this fic and holy shit, I’m completely blown away. It’s been a hot second since I’ve read some of these (quite heavy, mind the tags!) topics and at times I felt so completely devastated that I wondered if I’d be able to continue. But despite Draco’s heart breaking self-destructive spiral, this fic is still refreshing and exciting and brilliantly executed, and no amount of discomfort could stop me from drinking it in one sitting. The convoluted micro universe of appearances, bad decisions and disenchantment sucked me from start to end. What I find really interesting about Draco’s portrayal here is that despite being hopelessly broken and sorry for himself he’s still proud and snarky, and his heart is in the right place. His narrative is amazing and I was so intrigued by the case plot behind this dark take on haute society! Major kudos to the fabulous world building, nuanced and rich in details, with a decadent glamorous atmosphere that actually reminded me a lot of one of my biggest teenage pleasure: Gossip Girl 💅🏼

I won’t elaborate too much on the plot to avoid spoilers, and also because I think this fic needs to be experienced first-hand. On a side note, I wonder if people will question Harry’s forgiving and understanding nature - I for one think it works perfectly well here. Firstly because he’s properly developed as an equally complex and layered character; secondly, as the story grew more dramatic in the final arc, I was hit with the sudden realization that my perception of Draco was being shaped by his own POV. At times it looked like he couldn’t possibly redeem himself, but Harry’s love is his saving grace and a source of hope powering their whole story. I love the slow, tentative romance - so unlike everything Draco has ever experienced - and I love Harry’s equal commitment to his cause and the way it gives him a sharper demeanor, opposed to his softness towards Draco. The characterization is truly fleshed out here, including a truly amazing support cast and one of the creepiest, most deranged and fascinating OCs I’ve seen.

This was one hell of a journey, chaotic and insane, but so gripping that you have no choice but to buckle up. It’s incredibly hard to pull off a movie AU and still make it very much HP and very much Drarry, but trishjames accomplished that with honors! Are you hungry for some hard core angst with happy ending today? 🙃

Read on AO3

[japes-the-clown]

THE SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS MOVIE: AN INVERSION ON “COMING OF AGE” FILMS AND A CRITICISM OF ADULTHOOD

Hi hello hey it’s me Jericho Jay “Japes” Marshall out here with a pretentious love letter to the filmmaking on display in nickelodeons The Spongebob Movie. Yes, I know it’s a kids movie. Yes, I know it’s not that deep. But I’m majoring in english, and deeply depressed, so I need to get this OUT and onto a PAGE.

I have watched this film many times over my lifetime, a few when i was just a kid, then in my early teens, even when i turned eighteen, and now, a month before i turn 20. Every time, I grow a new appreciation for the nuances that this movie brings to the table, and on my most recent watch my own deliverance from childhood makes me relate to the core themes the hardest I ever have. The Spongebob Movie isn’t just a movie about childhood, but a movie about adulthood.

Today, I’m going to make clear exactly how The Spongebob Squarepants Movie criticizes our understanding of adulthood and how society treats the neurodivergent, while effectively turning the “Coming of Age” genre on its head, within its 87 minute runtime.

START: CONSISTENT CHARACTERIZATION

One thing a lot of films (ESPECIALLY kids films) fail to nail is consistently showing aspects of a character throughout the runtime, enough that changes to a character feel impactful and justified instead of rushed and stifled. The best examples of movies that fail to do this are often the marvel movies that people tend to not remember- the first two thor movies, the avengers age of ultron, etc. In these movies, characters certainly have traits, but their personalities and motives can be very weak and make dramatic changes feel A LOT less dramatic. This can be seen in age of ultron, when quicksilver gave his own life to save someone else, which felt like nothing because he wasn't well developed. He wasn't particularly endearing, nor did him sacrificing his life contradict a part of his character. It felt very much like the writers trying to say "Look, this character which was once opposing the avengers, is now dying for one. Please cry." No hate to the writers of Age of Ultron, but it proves itself often to be an unmemorable part of the catalogue.

In the Spongebob Movie, the characterization is ON. POINT. After the introduction, with the pirates rushing in to watch spongebob, we get so much information regarding spongebob as a character.

Pictured: Spongebob holding a piece of cheese like an operator

The first scene of the plot is a dream sequence a large crowded scene at the Krusty Krab, with a customer not receiving cheese on his patty, and it being positioned in the same way as a bomb being located. In the dream, everyone is panicked, and Mr. Krabs is visibly distressed, almost like a damsel. Spongebob comes in, announcing his position as manager, much to the relief of Krabs. He goes in, and puts cheese on the burger (again, very akin to a bomb defusal scene), bringing the perturbed customer out safe and sound. Everyone lifts spongebob up as a hero, which is interrupted by his boat alarm.

This scene is JAM PACKED with stuff that both introduces the character to new watchers and introduces the crux of his arc to everyone else. Spongebob of course is very fond of the Krusty Krab, and wants to be the manager- he wants people to see him as cool, and as a responsible adult. He wants to be the sort of person that can be trusted with big responsibilities. And we also see, most importantly, that he is extremely childish through his faximile of what it meant to be adult. Everything is scaled up; it's a very silly situation, which well suits both the joke and his character as an inexperienced kid. This is one of the most direct ways to convey someone's character, because a dream can be interpreted as a direct port into a character's desires. This being the first introduction to the character in the movie sets the tone for EVERY following situation.

In the next few scenes you see Spongebob's real life, which involves his lengthy morning routine; his life is sort of whimsical, and so too is his routine. He showers by shoving a hose into himself till he bursts with water, he uses toothpaste to clean his eyes but not his teeth, and he puts on pants which he must fold to make. Again, all pretty solid jokes, but also very telling about his outlook. He is funny, weird, and childish, which is juxtaposed by the scene where he's- he's uh- showering with squidward. Squidward is an example of the "adult" that spongebob isn't. This has always been the case, but here his normal routine makes it very clear that other people in this world aren't like spongebob. They shower normally, they brush their teeth, they put their clothes on like normal. Spongebob's world is one of wonder and without responsibility, which makes it questionable as to whether he could handle one.

Pictured: Spongebob's room, adorned with childhood imagery

Pictured: Spongebob celebrating his position as a manager, despite Krabs saying that it was squidward who got it

Even his room in this scene screams "kid". He has toys strewn about, glow in the dark stars, and pictures of superheroes on the wall. He even says "Sorry about this calendar" as he rips a page, personifying inanimate objects as a kid would. The movie is telling you, "THIS CHARACTER IS A KID", but in a way that's masked because it's also just a set up for jokes. It's done so well, in my opinion, that it would go over your head because from your perspective you would be laughing along as spongebob did his wacky antics.

On top of that, his excitement for his assured managerial position at the Krusty Krab 2 continues to be bolstered. He marked it off with a cute drawing on his calendar, for those familiar he changes his normal "I'm ready" chant to "I'm ready- promotion-", and he's even already set up a party to celebrate at his favorite chain, Goofy Goobers, a child's entertainment restaurant similar to chucky cheese, albeit replacing pizza for ice cream. He hasn't just gotten excited, but has this childish anticipation for something which isn't even assured.

Spongebob arrives at the opening of the Krusty Krab 2, where he is so excited he can't contain his glee. He breaks the silence and makes members of the crowd uncomfortable, reinforcing again that spongebob is a standout in a world of adults, and a kid who doesn't understand certain social norms, which society looks down upon. When Krabs reveals that Squidward got the managerial position, Spongebob hyped himself so much that he starts celebrating, not even noticing that he wasn't picked. He gets on stage, and begins to give a speech, to which Krabs interrupts.

The next part I think best illustrates Spongebob's clear ignorance to society: Krabs attempts to subtly tell spongebob that he isn't getting the job, but spongebob repeats everything he says into the microphone. Again, fantastic joke, grade A, but the amount this shows how invested spongebob was. He already saw himself as an adult, someone who everyone would look up to as a manager- he could take the responsibility, and isn't aware of everyone likely cringing in the audience. This is the natural step for him in his mind, especially because of his exemplary work which had been previously celebrated through employee of the month awards. This was not an option for him. There wasn't a world in his mind where he would be outclassed by squidward.

Krabs has to break to him that he lacks responsibility, and that his childishness makes it difficult for Krabs to give him such a job. This might seem harsh, but I think the intro again shows how Spongebob saw the job; he didn't understand what it would be like, fantasizing another level in the menial work structure to be an amazing adventure of a job. People in the crowd reaffirm that in the eyes of society, spongebob is just a kid, a goofball. In my eyes, this is a story not just of childhood, but of neurodivergence. Spongebob isn't normal, and is blocked by society for his ignorance of social norms and sunny disposition. He finds things fun that other people can not, and he places values in completely different things. So he is blocked from the meaningful recognition he desired, despite the obvious evidence of his commitment.

I think this is a mighty interesting dichotomy!!! Simultaneously, spongebob's understanding of the world truly is warped, often resulting in a lack of consideration for others as well as harm for himself when things don't go his way, AND he is a good worker which puts in MANY hours of work without so much of a complaint. This is COMPLEX. You have to ask yourself, as a viewer, "would I give spongebob the job?" The answer can be different and can be REASONED.

And that's JUST spongebob! There are other characters with characterization that mixes into the themes of the movie very well, but I'm going to bring up any related points in future sections.

Okay, Okay. So now you're saying "WOW OKAY GREAT so why does any of this matter?" I'm so glad you asked. VERY glad.

2: THE BREAKING OF A YOUNG MAN'S SPIRIT

THIS is the point of the movie. The obstacle in this movie truly isn't adulthood, but instead self doubt. Spongebob's whole world is turned upside down by Krab's rejection of his basic personality. Spongebob asks himself: is it REALLY okay to be who I am? Am I an adult? Is the world fair? One of the most shocking scenes in the movie is blended so well in tone with the rest that you don't really notice; spongebob eating ice cream to cope with his disappointment, akin to that of adults drinking alcohol, and appearing to be visually "drunk" and washed up. This is BRILLIANT, and a recurring theme, where the true line between adult and childhood becomes blurry and impossible to see. Spongebob, the representation of a kid, gets hungover, spiteful, and angry about the injustice of his situation. This is often how adults act in the fact of adversity, but what's funny is that this too is how a kid would act; getting angry and overindulging, feeling entitled and acting socially immature when he didn't get what he wanted. He walks in to the Krusty Krab literally just to shit talk Krabs. And it doesn't stop there.

Pictured: Plankton finding "Plan Z" and looking at it like a centerfold in a playboy magazine

Almost every character in this movie juxtaposes another, again smearing the line of what it means to be an adult. For example, Spongebob and Plankton are polar opposites; plankton is cold and vengeful, angry at the world around him, and spongebob is a happy person who tends not to take things personally, a friend to all. In planktons first appearances in the movie, he is portrayed with clear adult themes, mocking spongebob, making pinup jokes about plan z, and living in a fairly dark and grey space. But, as the story moves along, we see many similarities; both spongebob and plankton are fairly one track minded, and when spongebob's perception is broken he himself gets a little vengeful. When eugene is put in danger over this, though, we do see that he places the lives of others over his own wants. And, even at the end of the movie, we see their similarities. Plankton reuses the "Sorry Calendar" joke that spongebob used at the start of the movie, drawing another line of what it means to be an adult. Is it childish of plankton to say that? Is the inherent irony he has impactful here? His want for something that isn't his, and his disregard for others in pursuing it feels just like how a younger child may steal the toy of another, without understanding what it means to share.

Pictured: Neptune flipping his shit at his lost crown

Then, there's the character of Neptune. Neptune is a big man baby. He rules the entire land, commands the most respect, and is considered the most powerful person under the sea, and yet, we see that he gets overprotective of his property, prepared to execute anyone who even annoys him. Throughout the film, he's obsessed with chasing an image of youth, as he is bald, and ignores the suffering of the people on bikini bottom to make sure no one sees his bald head. He throws what's equivalent to a tantrum when he finds his crown is missing, and believes a very crude note written by plankton saying that it was eugene who stole it. His character is an "acceptable" child because he's in a position of power, where spongebob is an "unacceptable" child as he is just a working class member of society. And the funniest part is, that he mocks spongebob for wanting to go for the crown, when even he, the strongest person in bikini bottom, refuses to go out of fear.

We see that these "bastions" of adulthood, plankton and neptune, are the ones who are responsible for missteps of society; we're ALL children in the long run, but the strict enforcement of a perceived true adulthood creates a space where they can act immaturely yet those under them/around them cannot. Dennis makes this case even more, as the only thing he does in this movie is hurt others. There's only one thing that seems to truly denote adulthood, and it's cruelty.

Even squidward, the adult that is supposed to be more responsible that spongebob, refuses to go on the quest to retrieve the crown, as he acts mostly in self interest, even later claiming to only care that plankton was stealing the secret formula as it was hurting his own paycheck.

Spongebob is the only one willing to go, willing to defend the man who wronged him, willing to value life over his own interests. He is both child and adult, just as the adults are too children.

As he moves through the plot of this film, he becomes less confident in his disposition, with his naivete causing moments like him and patrick crossing the state line and immediately getting carjacked, or them being put into an uncomfortable situation by all the bubbles they blew when they tried to get their car back. His bright personality is questioned constantly: Only five days to shell city? BY CAR. This is man's country. But weren't we the double bubble blowing babies?

Pictured: Spongebob caught trying to take back the key to the patty wagon when patrick fails to distract everyone

This is made more obvious to him as patrick remains oblivious throughout; patrick is a mirror for him, that acts as a childhood constant, that makes it clearer for him every day the draws of his childishness. There's the moment in the club where patrick's distraction was poorly thought out, and only because he said he wanted to do it adamantly, there's the moment where patrick challenged neptune on how many days they would have to do it, which served no purpose but for his own fun, there's the moment patrick points out the free ice cream trap- he is the unemployed uncritical lens that spongebob is afraid he is.

So everything's fucked, and anyone who is childish is bad i guess!!!

But that isn't so,

3: The illusion of manhood

So we've talked about spongebob's characterization as a naive child, how this is impactful in his transformation into someone who is anxious about that aspect of his personality, and how the society around him is hypocritical in it's own immaturity. But where does this all come together?

Pictured: Planktons dystopian world, which Mindy shows Spongebob and Patrick

It's at spongebob and patricks "conversion to manhood". At his lowest point, spongebob becomes a squidward- he becomes critical of his AND patricks interests, and regards them as childish, deciding that this means that they can't make it to shell city, as it requires them to be adults. When mindy shows them the dire situation back home, she hopes that spongebob's sunny personality and care for others would shine through, but instead he turns to what society has been telling him; it's impossible. He can't do it, he's just a little kid, and there is no point to any of this as he'll fail regardless.

Thinking about it like this, it truly is one of the darkest points in the entire series; spongebob just openly admitted that there was nothing he could do, that all of his friends were goners because he was effectively useless.

Mindy comes up with an idea; she'll trick spongebob and patrick into believing they're men; she convinces them of mermaid magic (their innocence allowing them to believe) and uses kelp to make them think they've matured into adults. Notice that physical modifiers being the only key to this "fake adulthood". With this, they jump off a cliff because they believe that with adulthood, they are invincible.

This is really telling about how the society they're in thinks of being an adult, and relays that to children. There's another level, a distinct separation between spongebob and adulthood, which seemed like the difference between a squire and a knight- being an adult means that you aren't weak anymore (as though he was weak in the first place), and thus you can do things you never thought before. Is it truly healthy that this is how a society tells kids that adulthood is like, for them to enter the world and feel a truly awful financial and literal hellscape waiting for them? uh, you can, you can decide that for yourself i think.

Nonetheless, they survive the fall, and conclude that they really are invincible, able to power through a ravine with their happy go lucky attitude, eventually befriending the monsters which were once trying to kill them. They weren't acting like adults, but the labels themselves made it possible for them to soldier on with the childlike disposition they had. I find that to be powerful. If we were able to be more hopeful as adults, and power through the worst things brightly, could we do great things? Idk but these depression meds sure do taste good nom nom

After crossing the ravine, spongebob and patrick meet dennis, and have their worldview crushed as it's revealed that they are actually still kids. Dennis being the "alpha male" that he is, is characterized by violence and a lack of morality. The pair are saved by a giant boot, which is the first of two humans in this movie. Spongebob and patrick are both taken by the man in the diver suit, as we fade to black, marking the end of their illusion of adulthood.

4: Back from the Edge (of death)

Spongebob and Patrick awaken in an antique shop, realizing that they were surrounded by fish that had been killed specifically for sale as tacky antiques. They are lifted out of their fishbowl, and put under a heatlamp, as their fate is sealed to become a member among those dead fish. In spongebob's final moments, he mourns his inability to be an adult, as well as to reach shell city; but before they both die, patrick points out that they truly did reach shell city, as the crown was within their reach.

This. This is a phenomenal scene. Why? Because of what it means for spongebob's arc.

Pictured: Spongebob and Patrick on their deathbeds, finding happiness

He sees the crown, and realizes that, unequivocally, that even if he didn't bring the crown back, he made it to shell city. Every person he met told him that he couldn't even do that. and he did it. He is a kid, yes, but he's a kid who went where not even NEPTUNE dared go. Everything people said about him, about how him being a kid stopped him from success, was suddenly shattered. He has been asking himself if it's okay that he is a kid, and he saw, unambiguously, that it is. He is allowed to be happy. He can enjoy things that other people don't. He can be naive. He can be himself, no matter what anyone says. And so can you. Great things can be done by people who are "childish", who are "naive", who are kind without expecting a return, all of it. YOU are okay. Your stims are okay, your comfort series are okay, your interest in tropes are okay, YOU'RE OKAY!!!!

with that, spongebob and patrick are dehydrated on the table, and ostensibly die, the kids that they are, shedding one final tear each, forming a heart beneath them.

...

Miraculously, the tear electrocutes that lamp at it's socket, causing smoke to rise and set off the sprinklers, rehydrating the pair, and bringing them back to life. The "Man in the Suit" attempts to capture them, seeing them about to lift Neptune's crown, but the rest of the dehydrated fish come back to life- squirting him with his own glue and beating him to the ground, as spongebob and patrick run out with the crown. David Hasselhoff offers them a ride back to Bikini Bottom, and the pair begin their ride back.

5: The confrontation of Adulthood and Childhood

Pictured: Dennis looking all lame and shit

As spongebob and patrick are being swam back to bikini bottom, the boot under which dennis was crushed rockets to Hasselhoff, spitting him back out to finish the job. The appearance of Dennis, IN MY OPINION, makes him look rather goofy, with his broken glasses making him look more like a office worker than a badass assassin as he attempts to kill spongebob and patrick. Spongebob, in trying to reason with him, is able to ruin his eyes with bubbles, and then survives as dennis gets hit by a raised platform which spongebob and patrick are too low to be hit by.

Having defeated one representation of adulthood, spongebob and patrick are shot down by HasselHoffs MASSIVE MAN TITS with the crown in order to prevent Krab's fate, blocking Neptune's lazer just in time as they crash in.

All seems to be well, but plankton uses one of his mind control helmets (which we'll be getting into later) to enslave even Neptune, putting mindy, spongebob, patrick, and Krabs against the wall.

In another stark moment of characterization, Spongebob tells patrick that "Plankton Cheated", which prompts plankton to tell spongebob that the situation wasn't a kiddy game, and that it was the real world. This sort of distinctions in their ethos tell you how spongebob interacts with justice; he believes in "playing fair", while plankton is bitter and believes in getting what he wants.

Finally, the apex to our plot, is a musical number. Spongebob begins to make a long-winded speech, where he takes ownership of every label he was called as he stood on the stage at the beginning, the similarity between the two events being clear (holding a microphone at an inappropriate time, making a speech as he blocks out input from an adult trying to talk him down). Spongebob then busts out into the film's rendition of Twisted Sister's "I Wanna Rock", "I'm a Goofy Goober". This results in spongebob reversing plankton's whole plot with "the power of rock and roll". Plankton is made powerless, and thrown into a little padded cell.

The final scene in the movie has Mr. Krabs freed from his imprisonment in ice, and spongebob is offered squidwards position as manager of the second Krusty Krab. He seems hesitant, and squidward offers an insightful analysis of what spongebob might be feeling (the typical analysis of a coming of age movie, where the protagonist finds out that what they wanted all along is not what they wanted, but it was what was inside all along). Spongebob refutes that squidwards fly was just down, and GLADLY accepts the job.

AND THAT'S THE MOVIE

6: AN INVERSION ON THE COMING OF AGE GENRE

A coming of age story tends to be one which is focus on the growth of a character from childhood to adulthood, asking questions about what it means to be an adult. A character reaches for their perceived adulthood, and realizes what it means to ACTUALLY be an adult, typically juxtaposing what people think (drugs, parties, sex) versus what the movie postures as the correct adulthood (responsibility). In this, I think that the spongebob movie directly criticizes the position of what "an adult" is, in the sense of how someone acts.

Like we discussed in part 2, every adult character in this movie tends to be very childish in themselves, unable to see through simple ruses, and often very possessive of personal property. I don't think we actually see a child in this movie as a speaker at any point, only really as background characters (in goofy goobers to solidify spongebob as childish, and I believe in the chum bucket as they're lead to an unsafe place by their parents, who are supposed to be responsible). Thus, what is mostly examined is how adulthood and childhood is a very thin line. Squidward, for example, going directly to plankton to accuse him of stealing the formula, instead of taking it to the top immediately, which would have ended this whole thing fairly quickly; that was rather silly, and was the fruit of his need to assert himself as an adult.

Spongebob goes through this movie FIRST not caring much about whether or not he was an adult, and it is only after the social pressure from adults does he start to chase it. He then chases his perceived image of an adult, going on an adventure, and is crushed by the fact that he isn't an adult. Instead of finding what an adult is, he instead becomes comfortable with his existence as a child, finding himself at the end of the movie able to comfortably chase after an ideal again, where in a normal movie he would humbly reject the job he was offered.

This is, truly, what we should all take from this film. Spongebob realizes that people who aren't necessarily socially adjusted or acceptable can do great things, regardless of what the people around them say, especially because the people around them are liable to throw tantrums and be actively harmful to society. He is allowed to find comfort in childish things, and to be naive, because the world needs more people willing to help others. It's a scathing criticism on the imposed adulthood that exists in a lot of coming of age films, which begs us to drop fun in the interest of doing the right thing, as though those two ideas are contradictory.

BONUS: EXTRA STUFF THAT I LIKED

The goofy goober song became really good storytelling, at first marking childishness, then marking a level of discomfort and judgement in the club, then marking spongebob recognizing that his happiness came from what he liked and not some vague idea of adulthood, and finally marking his full acceptance of his childishness, taking the form of rock, the music of rebellion. It's not as subtle as leitmotifs, but it works really well in how the same song can give very different feelings throughout, and inform how we interact with a story.

There are a lot more examples of adults being pressured into childishness, with the connected twins who liked goofy goober at the club, who were beaten senseless for absolutely no reason, which highlights the way that the society hurts people that, by all means, are just as much adults as anyone else. There's of course Plankton's helmets which created a society of people who simply slaved away with nothing to say, taking life as it came and listening to authority.

On top of that, this movie is PRETTY ANTICAPITALIST AND ANTIMONARCHY, despite those things being allowed to continue to exist at the end- monarchy is seen misusing power constantly and often for unfounded reasons, and Spongebob's diligence at work is rejected by a penny pinching Krabs, who cares only about money. Like, THE KRUSTY KRABS ARE RIGHT NEXT TO EACH OTHER? THAT IS SOME MONTY PYTHON ASS SHIT. This year is the first year i laughed at that joke, because it's really some "capitalists are fucking dumb as shit" humor that slipped over my head when i was a kid. The villain literally being defeated by Rock and Roll, which was sung with a message against the oppression of differences in people? Yeah, I think the spongebob movie hated rich mother fuckers.

END: UH YEAH THAT'S WHAT IT IS

So yeah. The movie is good I think. There's a lot more i could go into, but I've been writing this post for hours and at this point i haven't even read it so...

I recommend going back and giving this film a rewatch!!! Pay attention to all the moments where adults act like children/kids act like adults, because it'll make ur brain pop like a zit. Anyways that's me, I'm Jericho Jay "Japes" Marshall, and I HATE facism.

[vannahfanfics]

Doting

Category: General Fluff

Fandom: My Hero Academia

Characters: Eri, Shota Aizawa, Toshinori Yagi

Hey, everyone! I am super excited to present my story for the EraserMight Mini-Bang! I had two wonderful partners for this event, Cam and apricot, and you can find their arts here and here! 

Shota pushed himself away from his desk with a groan, rubbing his tired eyes with the heels of his palms. The joints of his fingers ached from hours of tapping away at a keyboard, yet Shota still had quite a ways to go before he finished constructing the term’s report on his class’ progress for the administration. There was a lot to discuss, especially with the persistent villain activity inadvertently causing them to show explosive growth, and this report would be a verifiable thesis by the time that the teacher finished. However, despite the pain of the assignment, Shota could not help but feel proud that his students were displaying such advancement that he could fill pages upon pages with praise for them. 

Right as he gathered the will to get back to work, he heard the pitter-patter of little feet. His lips immediately curled into a smile, partly because of the adorable sound and partly because of the realization that he wouldn’t be getting back to work anytime soon. He swiveled in the desk chair just as Eri came trotting through the door, her long silvery-white hair swishing around her knees and the stuffed bunny that Nemuri had bought for her not too long ago clutched in her hand. She was dressed in a pair of worn blue overalls with a pink-and-white spotted shirt underneath, complete with some cute pink-and-white sneakers. She did look very cute, so Shota mentally thanked Nemuri for her fashion sense. 

“Eraserhead!” the girl cried, running right up to him to grip his knee with sparkling red eyes. Using the other arm, she hugged the bunny to her chest; its fur was beginning to fray and become tinged with dirt, and Shota would have to pry it out of her arms to throw it in the wash soon. I’m beginning to think like a doting parent, he thought in amusement. He supposed someone had to for the little girl. He leaned forward as she gazed up at him expectantly. “Eraserhead, did you forget? You’re supposed to take me to the park today!” 

Oh shit. Shota had forgotten. Still, he wasn’t going to let Eri know that. 

“Of course not,” he said smoothly, straightening up and ruffling her hair affectionately. The edges of Eri’s smile curled up happily as his large, calloused hand weaved through the silky silvery-white strands. “I was just finishing up some schoolwork. Did you bring the stuff to do your hair?” 

Eri nodded and dug into the pockets of her overalls to reveal a small brush and a collection of barrettes and ponytails. She dropped them onto the computer desk while Shota stood from his chair, stretching his arms above his head and bending back slightly. He groaned in satisfaction as his vertebrae popped in succession, alleviating the stiff pain that had made a home in his spine. “All right. Let’s get Midnight so she can… Oh.” His voice faltered as he looked around the teacher’s lounge only to find that it was empty aside from himself and the child. A spike of panic gushed through his blood vessels, filling him with cold dread. 

“Um… Eraserhead, Miss Midnight isn’t here, and neither is Mister Mic. Who’s gonna do my hair?” Eri asked while spinning a lock of her hair around her tiny index finger. Shota gulped, wracking his brain frantically. He always recruited Nemuri or Hizashi to style the child’s hair; Shota didn’t possess the delicateness for that. They’d obviously headed home while he was busy typing up his report, and they wouldn’t appreciate being dragged all the way back just to do Eri’s hair. He sucked in a breath through his nose, resigning himself to the task ahead of him. 

Then he flopped back down on the chair and patted his thigh as an indication for Eri to climb into his lap. 

“I am.” 

Eri scrunched her eyes suspiciously, looking very perturbed by the development. Still, she obediently moved to clamber into his lap. She continued to clutch the bunny, so she only had one hand to grip the arm of the chair and try to haul herself up. After a few times of slipping back down, Shota just grabbed her underneath her armpits and pulled her up to settle him on his lap. She settled herself in, sitting the bunny on her lap and smoothing down its ears. 

“I’m gonna do Bunny’s hair, then,” she chirped while grabbing one of the barrettes to clip it to the tuft of white fur atop the stuffed animal’s head. Shota chuckled— she really was cute— but all the adorableness in the world wasn’t going to save him from the daunting trial before him. While Eri busied herself with using her fingers to comb through the stuffed bunny’s fur, Shota’s hands hovered over her mane of silvery hair, not even sure where to begin. 

A brush. A brush is a good start, he decided. Shota picked up the brush and began teasing it through Eri’s hair, careful not to tug too hard and hurt her while easing out the knots. Eri hummed and kicked her heels against the computer chair as she played with her bunny, and he was grateful that he could at least do that right. Eventually, though, the brush glided seamlessly through the silky strands, and Shota couldn’t put off the inevitable forever. 

He awkwardly bunched up a chunk of her hair and secured it with a ponytail, then let it go. It flopped loosely against her head with a few strands sticking out at odd angles. 

He tugged it free with a heavy sigh, running his other hand over his eyes. This is going to be harder than I thought. 

“Eraserhead? You’re here awfully late,” a voice piped up suddenly. 

Shota looked over the walls of his cubby to see Toshinori strolling in, his coat draped over his skinny arm. When Eri heard his voice, she sat up on Shota’s legs to crane her head over the cubby wall and wave happily. 

“Hello, Mister All Might!” 

“Why, hello there, Eri. You look lovely today,” the teacher smiled as he walked around the desks to greet her. Giggling, Eri flopped back down on Shota’s lap and held up her bunny, which had several barrettes stuck in the tuft of cottony fur on its head. “Oh, Mr. Bunny looks great today, too. Did you do his hair?” he asked, squatting down to inspect the stuffed animal appraisingly. 

“Yeah! Eraserhead is supposed to be doing my hair, but he seems to be having trouble.” 

Shota covered his face with a hand as it turned bright pink with embarrassment. Kids really had no filter. Toshinori chuckled and straightened up, giving Shota a sympathetic look. 

“Well, cut him some slack. I’m sure he just wants to make sure it looks extra perfect.” 

Damn, he’s really good with kids. He knows the perfect things to say, Shota marveled, an eyebrow inching up his head as a plan hatched in his mind. Toshinori didn’t have children— at least not that Shota knew of— but perhaps the man had a little bit more experience in the complex art of doing little girls’ hair. Toshinori seemed to sense Shota’s great discomfort with the situation, as he shuffled around to the side of the chair to survey the barrettes and clips littering the desk. 

“Eraserhead, would you like some help?” 

“Oh, God, yes,” Shota blurted immediately, too overwhelmed with relief to maintain some sense of dignity. 

Toshinori chuckled and retrieved the brush, leaning over Shota’s shoulder while he began brushing Eri’s hair to gather it into one big hand. 

“I can’t say I’m familiar with things like this, but it can’t hurt to try,” he smiled. “How about we try some pigtails, Eri?” 

“Okay!” 

Shota reclined in the chair, melting with relief as he began to think that his dilemma may just be solved. 

However, it soon became clear that Toshinori was about as familiar with doing little girls’ hair as Shota. When he stepped back, one of the pigtails was much bigger than the other, and the left one sat at least two inches lower than the right. Toshinori smiled sheepishly when Eri tugged at the skinny pigtail, then looked at him doubtfully. 

“Um… I don’t think this is right…” 

“I’m sorry,” Toshinori groaned, his shoulders falling as he tipped back his head in defeat. “It seems that there is more nuance to this than I realized…” Sighing, Shota slipped the ponytails out of her hair, letting the waves of silver hair fall loose for them to start over. 

“All right. It’s time to pull out the big guns,” Shota decided. He grabbed his phone to pull up the ultimate source of information on the Internet— YouTube. Many young fathers and mothers posted tutorials on doing their daughters’ hair for those who were new to the game. Shota was more than willing to swallow his pride and peruse the videos rather than continue embarrassing himself. He picked a promising video and propped it up, and he and Toshinori watched the tutorial with great interest. The man pulled his daughter’s hair into perfect pigtails with almost frightening ease, talking through it step-by-step. 

“Well, he certainly doesn’t make it sound hard,” Toshinori frowned and looked back to Eri’s mane of silvery-white hair. His doubtful look certainly didn’t inspire much confidence. 

After taking a deep breath, Shota restarted the video and tried to replicate the father’s actions. It turned out better than Toshinori’s attempt, but the pigtails were still a little uneven and lopsided. Eri looked back at him when he pulled her hair free again, looking perturbed. 

“Eraserhead, it’s okay…. You don’t have to do my hair. We can just go to the park…” 

“No. You said you wanted your hair done, so I’m going to do it,” Shota asserted firmly and started the video over again. It was really less about making Eri happy and more that he was frustrated he couldn’t do something so simple as pigtails. His heart went out to all the single fathers out there bungling through the same struggle. Eri turned back around, pouting a little, but Shota was determined. 

This time, he and Toshinori did one side each. 

“Did… Did we do it?” Toshinori asked hesitantly as Eri shook her head back and forth slightly. Her pigtails swished over her shoulders; they sure looked even, and the ponytails didn’t slip free with her movements. 

“I think so,” Shota said with relief, sinking into the chair. He picked up two pink flower barrettes and clipped them onto the ponytails, and Eri reached up to touch the smooth plastic with her fingertips. 

“Well, Eri? Did we do a good job this time?” he said as he pulled up his cellphone camera and allowed her to look at her reflection. She grabbed the phone with her small hands to inspect herself, and Shota felt his heart flutter with happiness when she beamed wide in the screen. 

“Yeah! It looks great!” she nodded. “Can we all take a picture together?” 

“Sure.” They adjusted themselves so they could all fit in the frame, with Shota’s arm slung around Eri’s waist and Toshinori over his shoulder, smiling shyly and throwing up a peace sign. Eri was smiling hugely, her eyes scrunched up with delight. She immediately grabbed at the phone to look as the shutter sounded, squealing happily at the photograph. Shota stroked one of her pigtails as she kicked her feet excitedly. 

“Thanks, Eraserhead, Mister All Might! I love it,” Eri said, then gave Shota his phone back. She slid down from the chair, clutching her bunny to her chest, and then looked up at Shota hopefully. “Can we go to the park now?” 

“Yes, yes,” Shota said, patting his legs before rising from the chair. He winced, the stiffness from his hours in the chair returning with a vengeance. He rubbed his sore back muscles with a groan, then looked at Toshinori with a wan smile. “Thanks for your help.” 

“Oh, of course!” Toshinori replied, waving his hands submissively. He then smiled down at Eri and flashed her a wink. “I couldn’t leave a lady in such distress, after all.” Eri giggled, hugging her rabbit, and then wiggled shyly. 

“Mister All Might, would you like to go to the park with us, too?” 

Toshinori pretended to think about it for a second, putting his hand on his chin and looking up at the ceiling. Eri frowned at his silence, her lips beginning to poke out into a pout. He then grinned widely. 

“Of course! It’s a wonderful day. In fact, I think I just might have enough money for ice cream afterward…” 

“Yay! Did you hear that, Eraserhead? Ice cream!” she squealed delightedly. She spun on her toes, holding her bunny over her head, before sprinting out of the room demanding, “Come on, come on!” Shota chuckled at her instantaneous burst of energy and shook his head at Toshinori. 

“Wow. She’s going to end up spoiled if she starts to hang out with you more.” 

“I can’t help it. Little kids are my ultimate weakness,” the blond laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. He smiled fondly, watching as Eri jumped back into the doorframe to beg for them to hurry up. “Besides, after what she’s been through… Doesn’t she deserve to be?” 

“Yeah,” Shota nodded and slipped his hands in his pockets. “She really does.” 

He supposed he had better learn how to do her hair soon, for he had a feeling he’d be taking more trips to the park as time went on. He really was starting to think like a doting parent, but that was okay. That was no less than what Eri deserved.

Enjoy this oneshot? Feel free to peruse my Table of Contents!

[slowlyreadinghouseofmirth]

Page 7

In truth, he had never liked her as well as at that moment -> Selden's affections here are plain to see, made so especially by subordinate clause 'in truth' which conveys an honesty and freshness about his feelings. Most importantly, he likes her when she is being her true self, unconventional, and willing to take risk. It's likely informed by his disillusion with high society and finding commonality in someone willing to disregard its etiquette. This is where Lily is unique.

There's also this sense that Selden likes Lily because she is impulsive and this sparks his curiosity to try and understand why she does the things she does-- understand Lily as a person.

He knew she had accepted without afterthought: -> This reaffirms Lily's lack of hesitancy, which alludes to how willing she is to be in Selden's company. It also shows how comfortable she is with him as she is aware of the rumours that could occur but never merits them with being a possibility, showing great trust.

Alternatively, being aware of the risks and having not afterthoughts could suggest that she doesn't fully understand the risks' depth and nuance as in future the situation at Monte Carlo would suggest, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

he could never be a factor in her calculations -> there's a colon that separates this clause from the previous one which suggests this is an explanation for Lily's certainty. To me this would point more towards Lily not really associating the risk of rumours with Selden because she trusts him so much. i.e she does not think of him when she thinks of the risks. But given that they are going up to his apartment it seems strange that Selden would not think himself a factor in her decision. It's therefore possible that he thinks that Lily does not think of him worthy of great consideration.

Also the noun 'calculations' would suggest a lot of thought had gone into the decision where it was previously implied it was one of impulse. This seems like Selden thinks that Lily is playing an intricate game, which further demonstrates his curiosity about her and need to understand her.

there was a surprise, a refreshment almost, in the spontenaity of her consent -> This further contrasts Selden's perception of Lily's 'calculations' and I think the narration is a fine weave between objective reality--where Lily is impulsive-- and Selden's subjective perceptions-- where Lily appears impulsive but there is something more complex informing her decisions. I think this is meant to show that Selden is blinded somewhat by his affections for Lily, seeing things deeper than what are there or what everybody else sees. Alternatively, we as the reader lack Selden's sight into the complexities of Lily and so she is introduced to us as other people see her, which isn't well at all, and we have to learn how Selden sees her. It's a challenge to care for Lily as he does.

The spontaneity invokes a light hearted and refreshing feeling of being in love which mirrors the honest of truth mentioned earlier.

So there's Selden's surprise at Lily being so spontaneous which draws back to a previous point about she is unique for being impulsive almost reckless. It's like we get a sense of her character and her environment from how the two are at odds with each other. Lily is impulsive; noone else of her class should be like that. In a way that makes her free from the system and yet shows her struggle against it but ultimately her struggle will be more defining.

She noticed the letters and notes heaped on the table -> I assume that this is a reference to future letters although I don't know if they would be the same ones. If they were, I don't even have the mental capacity to unpack that. Just the thought that Lily's fall is inevitable, that even when she is happy, having a nice time, an unknown omen lurks within the same room that will bring her sorrow... oh its symbolic, for sure. But I don't want to think about it.

Lily sank into one of the shabby leather chairs -> the verb 'sank' shows how at home Lily really is with this kind of surroundings, how the shabby whilst not fashionable or expensive, is comfortable. From this we and the the pile of letters we get an image of a a slightly disorderly but well-lived in home. This is one of the tragedies where we see the possibility of what her future with Selden could look like where it is unconventional but Lily is comfortable at home even with it.

"How delicious to have a place like this all to oneself! What a miserable thing it is to be a woman," -> I love Lily's exaggerated turns of phrases like 'delicious' and the exclamations; I think Wharton's emphasis on these exaggerations is to capture Lily's innocence through her speech by making it similar to that of a child who is easily excitable.

Again with the exaggeration but this time with 'miserable', we get the sense that Lily has found the world difficult as a woman to live in but miserable seems too strong of a word, certainly at this stage in the book and is sort of hidden within her other hyperbolised expressions. Maybe this creates a kind of cry-wolf situation where, when Lily properly starts to struggle, people don't take notice not only because it wasn't the done thing to do to talk about struggles but also because of her melodramatic personality, everyone thought the same stuff was happening as it had before and Lily was making a big fuss over nothing.

There is repetition of 'miserable' in association to being of female sex further down the page which is another example of Lily's melodrama. But at this point we as a modern audience start to question if she is actually alright (or at least I did). I'm not sure if a contempary audience if the time would have given the strict taboo over discussing any kind of struggle financial/physical health etc. let alone the discussion of mental health. From the impression I get of the time, the only real source of outlet for people struggling with mental health beyond self medication was art, which makes me wonder as to the position Wharton is writing this from.

she leaned back in a luxury of discontent -> The juxtaposition of 'luxury' and 'discontent' raises an important theme that wealth does not equate happiness and that Lily is not happy as a socialite but happy in the company of Selden, and that actually money is the source of Lily's unhappiness. In this specific context, she is lamenting her lack of freedom to live the lifestyle that Selden does.

"Even women," he said "Have been know to enjoy the privaledges of a flat." -> Putting the discourse marker directly after the subject of 'women' breaks it apart from the rest of the sentence and emphasises the extraordinariness of women being able to live independently. But it also raises the possibility of it and suggests that Selden thinks Lily is extraordinary and unconventional enough to achieve the possibility if she chose to.

"Oh governesses– or widows. But not girls– not poor, miserable, marriageable girls!" -> Again we have the breakdown of womanhood into distinct classes like governess, widows, and girls,which creates the idea that there's no intersections between any of them and is a reflection of of societies fixation for categorisation which loses sight the complexity of situations and problems. And it also makes it easier to place social stigmas like those on governesses and widows. Those stigmas are made apparent here but in contrast to how Lily describes girls, being a governess or a widow seems desirable.

In the list of adjectives 'poor, miserable, marriageable', marriageable is equated to these other adjectives and we see that Lily associates marriage with a poverty of kind, of the heart.

It's also interesting that Lily talks about herself as a girl where Selden speaks of her as a woman. Lily plays up her innocence as she has probably been taught to to make desirable marital match, but with that Lily carries around an air of immaturity and naïvity; she's still very child-like. Perhaps that's a part of her that's trying to cling to her youth so she doesn't have to face her future where she will need to marry to survive. Lily sees her adulthood as a constraint on her and her desires whereas Selden sees her potential.

"you mean Gerty Farish," she smiled a little unkindly. "But I said marriageable–" -> Okay so definitely a little tone deaf on Lily's part buts she's honest to a fault and her honesty is refreshing and entertaining.

I'm no expect on autism and don't claim to be but there's something about Lily's mannerisms here that reminds me of people who I know and am very close with who are autistic. And it makes me wonder if Lily was autistic and neurodivergence was recognised in her time if her fate would have been any different.

"Her cook does the washing and her food tastes if soup. I should hate that you know." -> I just love the imagery of the first sentence, it strikes my funnybone. I guess it also illustrates that Lily's privileged upbringing if she thinks this is a bad situation to live in.

Okay I'm going to bring in a bit of a technical term to describe the verb 'should'. So it's a modal verb (expressing possibility based on context) but specifically a deontic modal verbal, meaning that Lily's hate depends on social rules. When she says she should hate it it implies that society wants her to hate it but she wouldn't necessarily hate it. That's what that verb phrase implies in today's english, but language has changed since the time it was written so it may not have been written with this meaning, especially as a signifier of an older text is the use of modal verbs in places we wouldn't today and a lot more of them.

The shift from Selden's reflections to the quick dialogue and short simple sentences of action creates a lively and charged atmosphere that feels almost flirtatious in its rhythm but by the nature of the content is more domestic (preparing afternoon tea). The balanced turn taking feels comfortable in that they both have equal power in the conversation, being allowed to say what they want to and being listened to. It goes towards simulating what a possible future could be and also shows how happy they are in this moment.

[itonje]

Hi! I noticed you said you didn't like TSoA, and honestly, I gotta agree. I generally like retellings, but even if you ignore the Iliad, the whole Deidamia thing was still weird and Patroclus really does deserve more justice than just being the "uwu soft boi" for Achilles. I'm personally not a fan of those types of dynamics in general and it would've been much more interesting to see their relationship a little closer to Homer's depiction of it: equals in every way.

And don't even get me started on Circe! I liked it at first, but seeing the Telegony be a part of it really ruined it for me, among other things.

yeah, i've said before that the worst problem with tsoa even if you divorce it from the adaptational issues (which i tend to do in this case because it would piss me off too bad if it didn't) there still is all the misogyny in regards to deidamia and thetis and....urgh.

also yeah i feel like the way patroclus was presented here really did do him a disservice like...i feel his death is more stronger if you don't consider him just a tack on to achilles, because the pain menelaus and the rest of the greeks feel when he dies is just as palpable and miserable as achilles' emotions (i say this being menelaus' no. 3 fan but i digress i digress) and i think if you really wanted to go with the kind hearted gentle patroclus approach which i think itself can be a little out of character if you write it the wrong way i think it would have been a much better idea to actually...write him as being a good friend to the greeks? we got a little bit of that but not as much as i would have liked for someone who's epithet is literally 'amicable' but etc etc. his relationship with briseis in the book was...good i guess iliad adaptation wise i feel that relationship isn't given much attention as it should have i just wish there was more nuance (ie, more NEGATIVE nuance) to their relationship and her relationship to achilles where the book was willing to call out and interact with his unchoice behavior instead of...washing it away

ALSO YEAH I AGREE THAT THE EQUAL DYANAMIC WHERE PATROCLUS IS JUST AS VIOLENT AND MARTIALLY SKILLED AS ACHILLES IS SO SO GOOD I DON'T CARE FOR THE CHANGING OF THAT AT ALL...but maybe i'm just a sucker for the 'warrior boyfriends' trope. is it obvious alkfskljskldjslk

and speaking of circe...oh circe. i have a great affection for it-it's better than tsoa in my opinion like in the structuring of the story and prose but i read it first so i may be biased. i think it was a very strong book until the very last part but oh my god. i feel like the female characters are kind of done dirtier in this one which should be ridiculous since a female character is in the lead position but like...scylla pasiphae perse medea athena oh my god i feel like all of them showed up to either be people for circe to be jealous over or completely awful to her. the only one who wasn't ariadne, was murdered for legitimately no reason?? the version of the myth where artemis kills her is rare, i have no idea why the author went with that (well. it was probably to tie into the theme of humanity and mortality but STILL) i thought at least by the end of the story the nymphs on circe's island would become friendly with her and we'd see a bond or something but no! the only woman who really escapes this is penelope, and their relationship, with penelope becoming fond of her and even picking up witchcraft from her is wonderful, but it sucks that it's the only one we really get to see explored between circe and another woman. speaking of which...

you're so right about the telegony turn being...weird. i think the plot described in the telegony could be..interesting (even though i personally don't take it as happening in the way i think about the trojan war + aftermath in my mind- just let odysessus and penelope be happy wahhh) and in telegonus' youth up until penelope and telemachus staying at circe's place it seemed alright, a bit new but alright until...oh my god what the hell was that romance plot with telemachus and circe...WITH HINTS TO THE ROMANCE EVEN WHEN HER SON WITH TELEMACHUS' FATHER WAS LITERALLY STILL KICKING AROUND???? i KNOW that's what happens in the plot of the telegony but the book didn't make penelope and telegonus get together?? why'd you have to do this??? not to be on my Agenda but i honest to god think that circe had to get together with ANYONE at the end of the book it should have been penelope. i think them going from their intense first meeting to being lovers or whatnot would have been very interesting to see but...i digress. she gets with her stepson. sure

i liked the ending where circe chose to become mortal, and i feel the entire book was leading up to that and the complexity of humanity as opposed to divinity and i like those themes a lot, i liked what it was trying to say and how it said it a lot, i just really was not a fan of the telemachus thing i had to slog through at the end and in general the last third of the book was a bit..strange because i feel like the ‘flow’ of the book slowed to a halt for us to keep up with telegonus' upbringing and athena's threats which itself was a bit. tedious at times. it was a good book, and i'll probably reread it at some point again which i probably won't with the song of achilles, but there were parts that were just not choice to me

[brightbeautifulthings]

Unwind by Neal Shusterman

"What he's really saying is: Please be a human being. With a life so full of rules and regiments, it's so easy to forget that's what they are. She knows--she sees--how often compassion takes a back seat to expediency."

Year Read: 2020

Rating: 5/5

About: After America's second Civil War, abortion is made illegal. Instead, between the ages of thirteen and eighteen, parents can choose to have their children unwound, where all their organs are transplanted to living donors so that their lives don't technically "end." Connor is rebellious and trouble-making, Risa is a ward of the state, and Lev is a tithe, a child who's raised to be unwound by the blessing of god. For various reasons, they're all set to be unwound, but together they have a chance to escape their fate and help others like them. Trigger warnings: Everything? Death, child death, child abuse, mental/emotional abuse, body horror, vivisection, amputation, suffocation, explosions, fires, car accidents, violence, severe injury, paralysis, abandonment, sexual harassment, threats, bullying.

Thoughts: When I was a kid, I came across a book at the library called The Dark Side of Nowhere. I hadn't read a lot of science fiction at that point, so it basically blew my mind. I haven't reread it recently to know if it holds up, but I never forgot it, and I've added a lot of Neal Shusterman's books to my to-read list since then. Let's consider Unwind a veritable repeat of that experience, with one difference: I've read a lot of YA dystopias, and I'm still screaming inside about this book. I thought I was pretty done with the genre, which is probably why it sat on my shelf for five or six years before I got around to it, and shame on me for that. Not to trash anyone's favorite, but I can't understand why Divergent and The Darkest Minds have been made into films, while I can only name one other person who's even heard of Unwind. It's an exceptional addition to the genre, on par with The Hunger Games and Legend, and if you like those, you should add it to your reading list immediately.

But a few warnings first. This a dark book, darker than dark, and I admire the way that Shusterman isn't afraid to take this premise into its grimmest, shadowiest corners. If you're not prepared for a chapter of a live vivisection--one of the creepiest, most disturbing scenes that I (an avid horror lover) have ever read--then you aren't prepared for Unwind. It's more frightening than a lot of horror novels, and it doesn't flinch from the difficulty of its topics. While I can see how it could be read as a pro-choice novel, I think it’s actually pretty ambiguous about that and most of the moral issues it addresses. The only message it really seems to stress is that unwinding is a horrible solution to the problem, despite the Ship of Theseus style argument that surrounds it and the (almost more disturbingly) unexpectedly good things that come from organ donation. It's ethically complex, smart, and nuanced, and readers could probably spend years teasing out its arguments.

Shusterman was clever in choosing his main characters as well. Connor, Risa, and Lev each show ways in which a system like unwinding might be abused or interpreted. Connor's is the most typical, as the unredeemable "bad kid" that unwinding was likely first meant for. Risa's shows how state homes who lack funding can use unwinding as an escape hatch; she's not a bad kid at all, but she's not useful enough to keep alive either. Lev's is probably most disturbing, since his very religious parents have brain-washed him into wanting to be unwound; after all, good Christians donate 10% of their wealth to charity, and Lev is their tenth child. I'm hugely driven by character, and I loved all of them. Connor is labeled a bad seed, but we only have to spend a few pages with him to know that he cares deeply and doesn't always know how to express it. Risa is a brave and levelheaded counterpoint, and Lev's character development skyrockets in a number of different directions over the course of the book. Honorable mention to CyFi, who has less page time but shows some of the more terrifying and thought-provoking side effects of a technology so advanced it can even transplant parts of brains.

The novel rotates among the three major points of view in a way that's especially cool at the beginning, since we get to see the same significant event take place from each of their perspectives and how it impacts them. (You know how much I love books that are structurally interesting.) I'm less fond of the barrage of perspectives toward the end of the novel, and I'm not sure most of that (with one or two obvious exceptions) couldn't have happened from Connor, Risa, or Lev's eyes. However, I can't argue with the results, and Shusterman is able to explore this issue from every possible angle, both horrifying and redemptive. It's quick-paced with rarely a dull moment and absolutely explosive plotting at the end. The novel feels oddly complete for a first book in a series, and given the five-year gap between publications, I expect it was initially meant to be read as a standalone and easily could be. Regardless, I'm on the edge of my seat for the rest of the series.