#me(joking) haha like karkat

[creamiceandsugar]

the way he interacts with his past and future self i'm so.

[lizardinkart]

Making a new D&D one shot character when…

Me: So I’m making a barbarian and the gimmick is that they smoke a ton of weed to not be angry and go into a rage. Funny, huh? :D

My Partner (has read Homestuck): You do know that’s just a Homestuck character right?

Me (hasn’t read Homestuck): As long as it’s not the clown one, I’m fine with that.

*long silence*

Partner: …It’s the clown one.

Me: GODDAMMIT

[tgcg]

an open fly walking

i didnt like this one but i thought id finally air it out since its been sat in my folders for months now

TG: hey karkat

CG: YEAH?

===

TG: you ever noticed you like

TG: walk weird

CG: WOW, OKAY.

CG: HAVE *YOU* EVER NOTICED THAT I DON'T GIVE A SHIT?

TG: pff

===

TG: no listen because i got my ears scoping that shit im like a scouter for dude activity

TG: ok maybe me mentioning it to you is gonna fuck up your ecosystem or something but

TG: you have the heaviest feet of the century man

CG: I DO???

TG: just thrust them straight down into the ground like youre trying to homebrew a san andreas fault

TG: viciously tamping on tectonic plates hoping for top score on the richter scale

TG: waging war against solid particles and the basic flow of gravity

TG: i could ID those footfalls out of a million i mean it

CG: SERIOUSLY?

===

TG: i mean theres nothing wrong with it but

TG: yeah

CG: I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU'RE FUCKING WITH ME RIGHT NOW.

TG: im not fucking with you striders honor

TG: when have i ever lied to anybody about anything

CG: NOT UNPACKING THAT QUESTION WITH YOU TODAY.

CG: BUT SHIT, HOLD ON. LET ME SEE.

TG: yeah take the umbrella go over there and just walk to me

CG: ON IT.

===

===

TG: see you just kinda slam em straight down dude

CG: THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY RIOTOUS FUCKING JOKE OF A LIFE.

TG: dont your feet ache

===

CG: MOOT POINT. THIS MIGHT SOUND INSANE BUT I'VE ACTUALLY HAD MY STRUT PODS FOR A WHILE. ANY KIND OF PAIN THIS WOULD'VE BEEN CAUSING WOULD BE TOTALLY FILTERED OUT OF MY SPONGE BY NOW AS BACKGROUND NOISE.

TG: damn i didnt think that through

TG: my shades

CG: ALRIGHT, GET BACK UNDER THE SHITTING UMBRELLA AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME.

TG: look ive fucked myself over here too i dont have shit to clean these with

TG: ugh

===

TG: guess its karma

CG: HOLY FUCK. HOW DID I NEVER NOTICE THIS BEFORE?

TG: i dunno but im gonna assume having a dad thats a literal crab monster is probably a contributing factor

TG: im guessing thats not a great role model for this kinda thing

TG: just conjecture i mean

CG: YOUR ENVY IS OVERWHELMINGLY OBVIOUS DAVE. AS A DISCLAIMER, HE WOULD'VE ABSOLUTELY KICKED YOUR ASS.

TG: yeah probably

CG: THAT'S PRETTY MUCH ALL THERE IS TO SAY ON THE MATTER.

===

TG: but see bro had me stringent on feather feets

TG: i bet i could slip across a bike horn warehouse with nary a fucking toot

CG: HAHA. ASSUMING YOU DON'T MAKE A TOTAL ASS OF YOURSELF, AS PER USUAL.

CG: IF YOU WEREN'T CONSTANTLY RUNNING YOUR GASH ABOUT EVERYTHING AND BEING AN INIMITABLE CLOWN I SERIOUSLY THINK YOU COULD BE ON PAR WITH YOUR CUSTODIAN.

CG: THAT IS A MONUMENTAL "IF".

TG: well look at it this way

TG: im basically doing you all a favor by being a dumbass

TG: never gonna get caught off guard by the bozo patrol

CG: WOW. GOOD POINT.

===

TG: also screw this can i use your shirt

TG: this stupid hoodie is just smudging my lenses up

TG: i cant see dick

CG: UH

CG: SURE, I GUESS.

TG: cool

===

TG: so yeah i could be prowling around like a goddamn verbal assassin sniping convos left and right

TG: but no ive got the decency to go bunp in the night

CG: YEAH.

CG: IT'S DEFINITELY COMPOUNDED BY THE CONSTANT INANE RAMBLINGS.

CG: BUT

CG: IT'S ACTUALLY PRETTY RELAXING, Y'KNOW? IT HAS ITS OWN RHYTHM.

TG: see yeah i sound it off and

===

TG: wait really?

CG: YEAH

CG: I DON'T KNOW

CG: FUCK. HOW DO I EXPLAIN THIS WITHOUT WANTING TO CRAM MY FROND DOWN MY PROTEIN CHUTE.

===

CG: IT'S LIKE

CG: A SALVE FOR MY AGGRAVATION SPONGE.

CG: YOUR VOICE IS THE HUMAN EQUIVALENT OF ASPIRIN.

TG: uh damn karkat hold your hoofbeasts i was talking about the rhythm thing

CG: ALRIGHT, THAT'S IT. I'M TAKING US BOTH THE FUCK OUT RIGHT NOW. YOU HAVE REACHED THE BAD END OF THIS CONVERSATION.

TG: you think thatd be heroic or just

CG: IF I WAS STILL GHOSTING AROUND THE RUINS OF SGRUB'S ARCANE FRIGGIN GAME SYSTEMS, THE COMPLETE LACK OF SHIT AFOOT NOWADAYS WOULD BORE ME TO DEATH.

CG: LIKE. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME OUR THERMAL HULL LEVELLED UP, DAVE?

TG: hah

===

TG: but uh

TG: i mean we had aspirin on earth

CG: NO, NUMBNUBS.

CG: I'M SAYING YOU ARE MY ASPIRIN.

TG: oh

CG: YEAH, TAKE THAT TO THE BANK AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR 20-KARAT ASS.

===

TG: heh

TG: well get this

TG: i will literally talk at you forever for free

TG: you got lifetime priority seating for the davealogues

TG: never gotta go to the drugstore again you can just get doped up on my dulcet tones for the rest of time

TG: take that and some of this

TG: im packin punches

CG: OW, FUCK! NO! MY MIGRAINES!

CG: SWEEPS OF VEINCLOTTING AND NERVEFRAYING DOWN THE FUCKING GAPER. BECAUSE OF YOU.

CG: YOU ASSHOLE, THIS IS THE WORST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME.

CG: AND YOU'RE LAUGHING.

TG: chuckle up it only gets worse from here

===

CG: BE HONEST WITH ME. DID FONDLING MY SHIRT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET EVEN DO ANYTHING?

TG: barely but yknow sometimes you just gotta deal the cards youre given

TG: ill just be astigmatic for a while its cool

CG: PFF… OKAY MAN.

[ale-cart]

I’m absolutely dying for any information on Dave and Karkat in your gleestuck au. Im obsessed.

Okay so first of all I'm sorry sorry for this being so late- I've had to think real long and hard about what I wanted to add here.

Second, I'm so happy you guys are enjoying this as much as I do. It genuinely makes me so excited when I see y'all's tags and reblogs :')

Hmm I guess I'll start with how they met? Which would be in middle school when karkats family moved to town.

Almost immediately they Didn't like eachother, karkat didn't like Dave because of his "douchebag shades make me want to punch him". And Dave actually didn't mind karkat until he found out why karkat didn't like him, then it was, "Jesus what a prick, maybe I'll fuck with him later."

After that it sort of just began a whole "I can do better than you just watch." Sort of deal, UNTIL karkat started gleeclub in freshman year (when Jake started teaching) Dave basically saw that as karkat trying to one up him again but he legitimately could not join. Mostly because of his dad (bro) having just started being enemies with the glee teacher, and well because he knew he couldn't sing. "Touche vantas"

That being said, Dave had been playing the drums and the piano since before he had met karkat. He would always practice late in the band room when he'd have a particularly bad day, otherwise he'd wait til he was home to use his own.

Funny story actually, karkat (for the longest time) had a crush on dirk. Until he found out that dirk was interested in the schools paranormal obsessed dork. He only found out after accidentally hearing Dave rant to rose about it, afterwards he gave up on liking dirk completely (besides being friends).

Junior year, Karkat has just heard about dirk wanting to try out (due to johns antics) and went to look for him to ask to do a duo together. That's when he passed the band room and accidentally seen Dave just hammering on his drums. He then sort of snuck in, about to give Dave an earful about being in there without permission, when he actually listened to what Dave was playing and "woah isn't that one of the songs we were practicing earlier?"

Which Dave didn't hear obviously, but when he looked up and saw karkat you bet your ass it scared the shit out of him, falling out of his chair and on his ass with surprise.

That's when karkat just sort of blurts out that he should try out for glee, that they needed more people anyways and since his brother was joining he might as well too. Dave immediately shuts him down, making a joke about being too good for the club which pisses karkat off and gives him a new purpose at the school.

Getting Dave strider to join glee club.

Which proves to be a bigger hassle than he'd imagine because damn, striders are really fucking stubborn. But so was karkat, and eventually he had to settle with what they were best at doing. He called Dave out for being a Wuss, practically. Told him that he was admitting that karkat was better than him because he wouldn't join.

Dave being, well, Dave. Immediately jumped to being defensive, "fuck it! I'll join!" And boy did he, and boy did he like it, and boy was karkat getting cute? Oh shit.

I'll leave this here before it gets too much longer haha, but please! Feel free to ask me more, there's so much I can say on this au (there's so much for everyone please ask me about everyone pls pls)

[lesboygamzee]

beta troll headcanons but i have headcanons on how alternian gender works ( its not that complex dw )

aradia - fully agender . seperate from everything . didnt really care until it godtiered and then was like ohhh i dont have to do anything anymore im free now ok ^_^ and was pretty chill with it forever tavros - Fairy Girl and transfem . i imagine that Fairy Genders are like completely caste nonconforming I HAVE LORE I HAVE LORE LISTEN TO ME NOW BOY anyway . has known for like .. Awhile but shes in proximity to vriska and vriska is like your average reddit transfem and tavros is like ok maybe i should just repress this and pretend its not something i think and dream about extensively . and it works for awhile and then she lives as a girl on her own on earth c but it still takes forever for her to actually Come Out but it happens .. eventually ... ok im getting sad my girl has problems SHES ALSO BUTCH sollux - gold bigender what the fuck else . very repressed transfem who fits all the gamer trasnfem stereotypes hes kind of real . again Very Repressed and like halfway an egg halfway Aware ( haha duality ) . starts being herself after prolongued proximity to godtier aradia she stole its fucking girl ness #thetransagenda . doesnt really like the association he has with her caste but accepts it as part of his identity nontheless karkat - agender cis guy no assigned caste but identifies with his assigned gender on the technical level . he has a weird relationship with it but like its chill overall nepeta - olive trans guy . nondysphoric and is fine being a girl but one day he was like hey somethings off and he ripped his tits clean off and started living as a he and went about his life as normal <- joke but probably not far off . i dont think he was unhappy as a girl hes just chill with whatever feels right in the moment i think and right now its Boy kanaya - jade trans girl but in a gnc way because female jadebloods are meant to be very cold i think people forget that but kanaya genuinely cares about motherhood and wants to nurture the matriorb because she cares about the next generation of her race and like thats a significant part of her character guys you know that right . i think her both being badass AND having a desire for motherhood is good writing actually guys .g . anyway . has known since she was very young and would be relatively normal about it if it wasnt for her Proximity To Vriska ( see Reddit Transfem ) terezi - teal trans guy whos also nonbinary whos also a dyke . ill be honest i dont have anything super in depth for this one sorry terezi fans vriska - cerulean trans girl . i think nows the time to clarify what i mean by reddit transfem umm . she will not shut the fuck up about how horrible and mannish she looks and acts forever and like its not her fault she feels like this but shes saying this in direct proximity of other transfems namely kanaya and tavros . i also think shes a transmed . umm has known from a young age but only becomes fully comfortable in her identity like .. a loooong time from canon equius - indigo transfem . i dont have a lot of thoughts on this but i think shes very repressed for a long time but Nepeta Proximity helps her a little . doesnt really transition shes just A Girl Now gamzee - Dyke . incredibly strange relationship with everything but like .. i think hes identifying as a trans guy at 13 if only because he thinks its the easiest to explain i dont think hed care . Until It Does . has a crisis about it for exactly a week before getting normal . hard to explain more for multiple reasons rips arm off eridan - violet cis guy but like theres gender fuckery going on . thought he was transfem for awhile and went on e and was like this is awesome but i think im a guy still . does drag as a fuschia woman feferi - fuschia multigender . another one that is hard to explain sigh but i think hes an egg at 13 but he doesnt have a whole thing about it hes like oh im more than just Girl cool ^_^

[homelessbutcher]

how we feeling gangalang

Karkat slowly walked up to Dave, shaking, tears running down his face, holding something in his hand. KARKAT: D-DAVE... DAVE: whats up? KARKAT: I- UM. He wrapped his arms around Dave, sobbing. KARKAT: I'M PREGNANT. DAVE: ...what? KARKAT: YOU FUCKING HEARD ME. DAVE: seriously? KARKAT: YES IT'S AWFUL. DAVE: that's amazing. KARKAT: WHAT?? DAVE: we're gonna be parents, dude. KARKAT: WELL... KARKAT: I WAS THINKING OF MAYBE UM. KARKAT: ABORTING IT..? Dave pulled away from Karkat, chuckling. DAVE: haha, that's funny babe. KARKAT: WHAT? I'M SERIOUS. Dave stared for a second, appalled. DAVE: karkat you can't. KARKAT: WHY NOT?? DAVE: it's our creation man. DAVE: we made that shit. DAVE: like, you wouldn't just throw your own creation away would you?? KARKAT: WELL- I HAVE SOME CONCERNS ABOUT IT. KARKAT: LIKE, WHAT IF WE END UP LOSING THE BABY?? KARKAT: I SHOULDN'T EVEN HAVE THIS BABY IN THE FIRST PLACE IT'S NOT ANOTOMICALLY POSSIBLE. KARKAT: OR- OR WHAT IF WE DON'T LOSE THE BABY BUT WHEN IT'S BORN IT HAS MAJOR HEALTH PROBLEMS??? KARKAT: OR- DAVE: kar, hon, what if it doesn't have any issues? KARKAT: WHAT IF I DIE BECAUSE OF IT. DAVE: and what if you don't? DAVE: i say we have the kid. DAVE: because what if nothing bad will happen? DAVE: i mean, if you aborted the kid it's pretty much murder. DAVE: no, it just IS. Karkat gives him a puzzled look. KARKAT: AND THAT'S A PROBLEM BECAUSE...? DAVE: haha oh man. DAVE: it's MURDER. KARKAT: MURDER IS NORMAL ON ALTERNIA. DAVE: we're not on alternia are we? DAVE: love, i'm sorry but you just can't do this. Karkat pushed Dave, tears running down his face. KARKAT: TO THINK I WAS GONNA *PROPOSE TO YOU SOON.* KARKAT: YOU IMBECELIC- DAVE: woah what? DAVE: propose?? DAVE: i thought the dude usually proposed. KARKAT: I AM THE DUDE. DAVE: you're a dudette?? DAVE: i thought you were waiting on me to propose. KARKAT: I. KARKAT: DAVE I'M A MAN. DAVE: you're- DAVE: haha. Dave falls back into his seat. DAVE: you're joking right? KARKAT: NO...??? DAVE: i. i thought you were a- KARKAT: DAVE ARE YOU SERIOUSLY THIS FUCKING RET- DAVE: then how are you pregnant...???? KARKAT: STOP INTERRUPTING ME GOD DAMMIT. KARKAT: DAVE I THOUGHT IT WAS FUCKING OBVIOUS I WAS A MAN. DAVE: shit i. DAVE: i can't do this man. DAVE: i gotta go. Dave gets up from his seat and storms out, leaving Karkat all by his lonesome, with no idea what to do.

[pesterloglog]

Jade Harley, Karkat Vantas, Dave Strider, Roxy Lalonde

Page 99-105

JADE: the prince’s power grows.

KARKAT: JESUS CHRIST!

JADE: i feel him resonate through the void.

KARKAT: FUCKING GREAT.

DAVE: dude can you chill for like even a single fucking second

DAVE: also are you ok

KARKAT: OH, PARDON THE FUCK OUT OF ME FOR OVERREACTING A LITTLE WHEN MY GOOD FRIEND "POSSESSED JADE" BUSTS INTO MY RESPITEBLOCK AT 5 AM!

KARKAT: NEXT TIME I’LL JUST PULL THE COVERS BACK AND LET HER CLIMB IN!

JADE: i am uninterested in that scenario.

KARKAT: GREAT! POSSESSED JADE ISN’T EVEN HORNY! HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT?

KARKAT: HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE?

DAVE: yeah i may be totally misunderstanding the intricacies of "next gen technology" designed by an idiot in microshorts

DAVE: but im pretty sure i locked that door

JADE: i unlocked it with my mind.

DAVE: fuck

KARKAT: FANTASTIC.

JADE: the prince’s powers are growing, but so are mine.

KARKAT: WOW? COOL? AND YOU HAD TO COME IN HERE AT THE ASSCRACK OF THE MORNING TO TELL US THIS?

KARKAT: LIKE YOU DON’T FLOAT AROUND LIKE A CREEPY PIECE OF SHIT ALL DAY AS IT IS?

JADE: ...

KARKAT: OH, IS THAT ALL? NOTHING ELSE TO SAY?

DAVE: karkat its fine

DAVE: who cares

KARKAT: YEAH. YOU’RE RIGHT.

KARKAT: IT’S NOT LIKE WE ACTUALLY HAVE ANYTHING TO WAKE UP FOR.

KARKAT: GO BACK TO BED.

DAVE: no dude im up fuck it

DAVE: i want coffee

KARKAT: FUCK! FINE! FUCK IT.

KARKAT: I NEED TO USE THE GAPER ANYWAY.

DAVE: oh me too

KARKAT: DON’T FOLLOW ME.

ROXY: oh what up

ROXY: its a whole ass pajama party up in here

ROXY: couldnt sleep??

KARKAT: JADE WOKE US UP BY BEING CREEPY.

ROXY: oh

ROXY: jade why did u do that

KARKAT: WHAT?

KARKAT: OH SHIT, THERE SHE IS! I DIDN’T EVEN HEAR HER FOLLOW US!

ROXY: sometimes a girls just got to get her drift on i guess

ROXY: it be like that

KARKAT: I PREFERRED WHEN ALL SHE DID WAS FLOAT AROUND AND POINT AT SHIT.

KARKAT: AT LEAST THAT WAS QUIET.

DAVE: yall want coffee

ROXY: sure

KARKAT: YEAH, THANKS.

DAVE: hate to give it up to venture capitalism but this coffee is EONS better than the garbage we had on the meteor

DAVE: this ship is maybe the dumbest thing ive ever looked at but its a give and take right

ROXY: maybe u just developed a taste for it

ROXY: i used to think coffee tasted like ass but drinkin it was another thing i felt like my mom woulda done

ROXY: turns out rose drinks tea and i stockholmed my own dumb butt into liking this addictive bean juice

ROXY: well i mean who knows what she drinks now

ROXY: dirk probs tossed the coffee machine out the space window right away

ROXY: dude doesnt "believe" in "substances"

KARKAT: WHY ARE YOU UP ANYWAY?

ROXY: well i wasnt but then somebody screamed like a rooster boned a teapot and had a noisy lovechild

DAVE: yeah thats basically accurate

KARKAT: FUCK YOU.

DAVE: maybe if youre lucky

KARKAT: THAT JOKE STOPS BEING FUNNY WHEN WE’VE ACTUALLY

KARKAT: UH

KARKAT: IS THERE MILK?

ROXY: lmao

ROXY: in the fridge

DAVE: wheres kanaya

ROXY: idk

ROXY: sleepin i hope

ROXY: last time i saw her she was on the second floor

ROXY: no

ROXY: the third floor observation deck

ROXY: this place is huge

KARKAT: PLEASE.

KARKAT: IT’S MAYBE A TENTH THE SIZE OF THE METEOR.

DAVE: yeah dude but that was basically a city

DAVE: this is more like a castle

DAVE: a castle of idk

DAVE: twenty something ennui

ROXY: anybody hungry

ROXY: i was thinkin about alchemizing some pancakes

ROXY: or maybe eggs

ROXY: they all basically taste the same at the end of the day i think alchemized food is like eighty percent imagination

ROXY: but both of you barely eat and its making me anxious

DAVE: damn thanks mom

DAVE: i mean

DAVE: shit

DAVE: dad

DAVE: roxy

DAVE: fuck sorry im tired

ROXY: haha its ok

ROXY: dont worry about it

DAVE: okay but just because our relatives turned evil doesnt mean we have to act like total animals

DAVE: we can still try to respect each others identities and shit

DAVE: anyway im gonna go check on kanaya

DAVE: possessed jade dont follow me

JADE: i am fine where i am.

DAVE: cool

[homestuck-stories]

Wait I want to request a thing for my best friend.

He adores karkat, sollux, and mituna. So If you could write something with any of them for him that would be lovely!

He loves cats and bees a ton, struggles with OCD and being half deaf (missing an ear). Hes an artist too and loves baking.

Just do whatever is easy but make it really sappy and romantic >:3c fluster him ♡

Hope this is ok to request! Thanks in advance!

♡Fox

—SOLLUX WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING RIGHT NOW. ARE YOU ON DRUGS? Some troll asked on Trollian. The notification arrived soon, being answered by another troll. —… no, iim not iin drug2. why are you a2kiing that riight now, KK? —LET'S SEE. YOU WERE REALLY SPECIFIC ABOUT WHAT YOU WANTED. YOU WANTED TO TALK WITH Y/N. I GAVE YOU HIS TAG. AND YOU IGNORED ME. I TALKED WITH HIM. THEY ACCEEDED TO TALK WITH YOU AND, AFTER PUTTING SOME WORK ON IT, I EVEN MAKE HIM AGREE INTO HAVING A DATE WITH YOU. BUT YOU HAVE TO GO NOW IF YOU WANT TO SEE HIM. The other troll tried not to panic. He knew how important it was to cause a good impression on you on the first date, so he said. —oh. 2o you 2ay that iim late. that make2 2en2e. yeah, ii 2hould go now. thank2 for remiindiing me two go talk wiith hiim, KK. ii dont know what iid do iif ii havent 2uch a good friiend —PLEASE DON'T BE DEPRESSIVE AND SWEET WITH ME. YOU ARE KINDA DISGUSTING. BUT YEAH, SAY THANKS. YOU HAVE TO BE THANKFUL I DON'T GO IN YOUR PLACE. THAT KID IS REALLY NICE AND HAS SOME GUTS, SO I FEEL HE COULD WORK AS A GOOD MATESPRIT. TA disconnected that moment, making his way to the place where you were waiting. He arrived as soon as possible for him and, when he arrived, he was so flustered. He wasn't expecting something so… Appropiate. You lacking a part of yourself (your ear) did make Sollux feel alright in a weird but good way. He was insecure because of his doom player condition, which made him half-blind and half-death in some weird way, so being able to see that his date was not perfect… Kinda fixed his vision. Not quite literally, since he was half-blind still. But it was the best he was gonna feel. At least, before talking with you. He approached while you were working on some art. It was a portrait of Nepeta and yourself surrounded by some cats. You both seemed kinda cute for him so it was time to talk for Sollux —hey. that look2 really cool, 2eriiou2ly. —… Huh?… Oh! It's you. Sorry, could you repeat what you said? Sollux was stupid. Or that's, at least, how he felt. Clearly he was half deaf and talking to him standing on kid's bad side was almost awful coming from someone who should understand his struggles. —… yeah, 2orry. ii wa2 2ayiing that… that your art look2 pretty cool. tho2e are really cool cat2 and ii have two admiit that iim 2orry for beiing late. —Oh, I know that you were, but I already came with my own plan. If you weren't coming, I was gonna keep drawing. I already planned everything so I wouldn't feel anxious if you couldn't assist. That sounded kinda bad and sad but then he remembered what KK said. "HE STRUGGLES WITH OCD. AND NO, I'M NOT TRYING TO MAKE ANY JOKES LIKE OLD CRUSTY DICK OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. I'M TALKING ABOUT OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER." —2o… how are you? iim pretty bad wiith thii2, 2orry. probably iit2 better iif ii go. my lii2p ii2 makiing everythiing wor2e, iim probably the mo2t obnoxiiou2 troll you ever talked two —No, please! I planned everything because I would find kinda hurtful being alone when I want to spend time with you. Don't feel like you are bad at anything because the only thing you are not good at is making me feel uncomfortable!… Sollux was a little bit confused by your way of wording that, but soon recognized that you were trying to help. —okay… thank2 agaiin. and… ii want to 2pend tiime wiith you two. ii hope that wa2nt corny enough to 2care your a22 haha… You laughed because that sounded really cute. You shaked your head and said, with a smile —A little bit corny, yeah, but not enough. You have to try a little harder than that, sorry. So… I was doing this drawing because I wanted to improve my relationship with Nepeta and, well, I'm doing another one of Mituna. Do you have any request, something do you want me to draw for you? Something that will make you feel better. And that's how you and Sollux spent an evening together.

-------------------------------------------------------- Hey! I hope your friend likes it! I'm sorry if I misunderstood anything about the request, and I'm sorry if I can't capture exactly Sollux's personality! I tried my best and I hope it's good enough to fluster your friend! <3

[birchbow]

*approaches like a starving victorian orphan* pls may we have have an excerpt 🥺

I've been working on original novel stuff and Winter Soldier inspired pale Gamkar stuff for a hot second, so there's not a ton of new PoF to excerpt at the moment, but u know I can never say no to interest in my fics haha :D

--

The door opens again, and it’s not a quadrant of yours this time.  A sister with a crest of hair bright mutant red between her horns and more scarves than clothes comes in like she’s got a suspicion she’s being followed, and closes the door sharp again behind her.  Looks real familiar—for a second, you can’t quite place her.

And then you recognize, and are taken immediate by both anger and delight.  Aggravation at the motherfucking presumption, to come to you after you closed court—simultaneous, the anticipating joy of a building joke well set up to add to.  You’ll play to the joke, but not at expense of your authority.  This little motherfucker better learn quicker than you suspect she will, or she’ll have quite the lesson coming.

Karkat turns back to look at her with an expression far from inviting, folds his arms in all his shiny imperial armor and glares at her.  She pays him attention enough to look and then nod, and then crosses the Big Top, bows at you and then bounces up a careless touch sooner than she should.

She says, “I got your message, my lord.”

You consider her, and whether you sent any kind of message, and are quickly and assuredly positive that no such motherfucking thing did you do.  Karkat looks from you to her and back and seems to determine that exact thing, from what tell of yours you don’t know—his eyebrows go up, and then down, and then crease in the middle.

“We’re in the middle of imperial business,” he says, strict and snapping like he must be with his recruits.  “And court’s closed.  Do your auditory sponges not fucking work?  Is your thinkpan damaged?!  Or do you just think you’re too good to listen to a direct order from the Grand Highblood?”

“I was invited,” says Ardeen, and looks, expectant, to you.

--

(And one or two brief snippets of things still dubiously canon and half-written:)

-

It’s pan-rot stupid of you, maybe—you know he won’t go easy on you, tough old hatchet of a motherfucker, with all he knows and feels and has done—but on All Colors Week, the rules lay out that you can get up in a holy champion’s personal business and challenge that motherfucker for a flag.  Not to grief them, you’ve got your ass whipped enough times by now to know you’re not ready for that yet—but if you manage to impress in their chosen challenge, that flag in royal purple is theirs to grant and give over, and you’ll be honored like a motherfucking champion yourself the rest of the holiday.

He won’t go easy on you, because he doesn’t go easy on any motherfucking one, but in scripture—in scripture if nothing else, you think you’ve found ground you can hold.

“Feeder Stædfast,” you say, and he lifts a brow at the manners you’re aiming at him, turning full to face you and snapping shut his book.  “I think you got something there you might hand me over.”

Both brows up this time, double surprised.  “Oh," he says, "Is that so?”

-

“Nitram,” snarls Kurloz, and then he moves like a lightning bolt and tries to take your friend’s head off his shoulders.

-

Karkat looks at Sollux, then at you, then opens his mouth, and then clamps it shut again and does what appears to be some kind of painful breathing routine, like he’s physically compressing his rage down into something manageable.  When he opens his eyes, his voice is very nearly calm.

“Okay,” he says.  “Fuck.  This is going to take some cleaning up.  Shit.  We can salvage this.”

[junejulyjaugust]

eheheh hiya! i'm june! i'm a home stuck fictive! if you call me by a name that is somehow related to a period of time (ie. B.C.E. egbert) i will kiss you on the mouth (/nsrs).

to be like... more specific: i am an introject of june egbert! i use she/her pronouns! i am not a system host!

this is my personal side blog! i'll probably mostly reblog art of myself/my friends in my source!

(oh hey. also. jumpscare: i am a partial introject of vriska! i will sometimes do the 8 thing ehe)

i made most of these blinkies myself (with blinkie cafe!)

i have a suuuuuuuuper loose tagging system for my posts! see below! will update as i tag more people!

#june post: i tag all of my posts with this in an attempt to make it obvious that i am an introject!

#great dog bestest friend: jade!!!!!!!!

#la vie en rose: rose!

#swallowtail strider: dave! this one has lore behind it, so!

#icarus in a coal mine: dave sprite

#the name on every body's lips: roxy! it is a chicago reference.

#the fall of rome: dirk! this one also has lore haha.

#cake boss: jane :)

#character select screen: jake. i think it is funny.

#i'm afraid i can't do that: hal. i think that is self explanatory hehe.

#mex2 combo: vriska. the joke is. i am a little bit vriska.

#miss maryam: kanaya, but i think that's kinda obvious!

#meow beep: karkat. lol. beep meow, but like a little to the left!

#law not order: terezi

[fuckassreal]

i started reading homestuck with my boyf recently because he wanted me to go through what he went through and i was curious what the story could actually be, and i was not joking about the whole kinning karkat thing

like it started out as haha i kinda relate to guessing what he was gonna say next based on my spontaneous reaction to what was previously said to literally guessing some personality traits that have not been showcased in the story yet entirely based on personal experiences

this fucking sucks

[notgreengardens]

Who's ur favorite homestuck character and also who's the one u relate to the most?

Hi anon!

Sorry that this has become longer than you probably expected but I just have a lot of Feelings and Thoughts about these characters. Also a short disclaimer that I am still reading homestuck. I am currently at A6A6I5 page 7504 and I am blissfully unaware of most fandom discourse surrounding these characters.

So back to your question: Even though I love a lot of the characters, Karkat is definitely my favourite. I was incredibly annoyed by him in the beginning but by now he is definitely a blorbo to me. I just love his interactions with the others in A5, they are a lot of fun, and I also enjoy watching him grumpingly care for his friends while being overwhelmed by everything. I think to some extend I also relate to the feeling of being overwhelmed by the position of responsibility you were given, and I resent Hussie for not giving Karkat the space to grow to keep up the joke of “haha, he is angry and shouty and bad at being a leader”. I think there was so so much potential for growth for him after Cascade, for how he deals with his feeling of guilt towards himself and for how he is a caring person towards his friends, but at least at the point where I am currently at, I feel like his character has been hollowed out and some of his growth from before Cascade has even been erased. There are so many ways you could have kept the gimmicky “loud and shouty” character traits while allowing room for character development instead of just doing whatever Hussie has been doing. But I have heard loving homestuck characters while resenting Hussie for what he is doing to them is an essential part of being a homestuck fan, so at least I got an authentic experience.

That being said, I actually relate the most to Jon. I think it’s the “bi adhd” vibes I got from him and also how he is a person who loves and cares about people and things in a very earnest and sweet way and I try to be like that too. I think he struggles a lot with disillusionment and how caring means having to fight for a better world and the people you care about and what all of this entails.

Also, his dynamic with Karkat is great. I just love both of them a lot.

[tgcg]

happy day of egbert

CG: DON'T YOU JUST HAVE THE MANUAL SOMEWHERE?

TG: dude its the most overwhelmingly basic thing on the planet trust me i literally did all the other settings for you

TG: all you gotta do is point the thing at egbert

TG: half press to focus subject

TG: press down fully and bam done the shit is shot

CG: BUT --

TG: i know youre desperate for this to be rocket science but its genuinely like first grade biz i promise whatever pic you take is gonna be fine

===

EB: yeah, come on karkat!

EB: i am only going to be the birthday bad ass for like, 24 hours total you know.

EB: longest birthday of my LIIIIIIIIFE. haha.

EB: oh hey, from one birthday-dooms day guy to another…

EB: i am pretty sure you understand the magnitude of what i just said!

===

CG: OH HEY. FUCK YOU.

CG: I'M JUST ACCOUNTING FOR THE LITERAL FUCKING INEVITABILITY THAT WHEN I TAKE THIS PHOTO, SOME INSIDIOUS LITTLE KARMA GNOME WILL FROLIC ONTO THE SCENE IN AN UNBELIEVABLE STROKE OF LOATHSOME SERENDIPITY TO BURY ME IN 12 CUBIC METERS OF FOOL-GRADE FUCKING IDIOT POWDER.

CG: AT WHICH POINT ANOTHER HEFTY BOULDER WILL BE ADDED TO THE BULGING MACRO-BINDLE OF SHAME YOU PEOPLE HAVE FORCED ME INTO CARRYING MY WHOLE LIFE.

CG: SHIT, SOMEONE HAS GOTTA LOOK OUT FOR MY ASS.

TG: alright give us a sec

TG: huddle formation

EB: psssshhh, alright.

===

TG: youre not gonna fuck this up

TG: your ass is completely secure dude

TG: i got the double foam padded booster seat and you know that shit is strapped on this 5mph drive through quaint ol piss-easyville

EB: you know if it really is so bad you can just re-take it, right?

EB: it is really not worth aggravationing your sponge over.

TG: 'xactly

TG: knights honor that shit isnt hooked up to my ishades and will not instantly forward me a copy in crisp HD of whatever blunder youre cooking in your beautiful nugbone

===

CG: IT'S NOT JUST THAT.

CG: HAVEN'T I SHADOWED YOUR PHOTOGRAPHY SHENANIGANS LONG ENOUGH FOR YOU TO TOSS ME A GODDAM BONE?

CG: I MEAN. I FEEL LIKE I'M READY FOR THIS. I'VE BEEN PRIMED FOR THIS BULLSHIT FOR EQUINOXES AT THIS POINT, WATCHING YOU PRANCE AROUND WITH THIS FUCKING THING.

TG: woah wait youre legit into it?

CG: YES, I AM LEGIT FUCKING INTO IT.

CG: AND I KNOW IT HAS SETTINGS YOU'RE HIDING FROM ME. WHAT IF I WANT TO TAKE A BLACK AND WHITE SHOT, HUH? WHAT IF I WANT TO ADJUST THE "APERTURE" OR THE "EXPOSURE" OR SOMETHING.

TG: alright i dig the enthusiasm but maybe we can unwrap that shit when we dont have someone waiting for us

TG: i didnt know you were scoping photography man you shoulda said something!

CG: I WAS PLANNING TO! I DIDN'T ENVISION IT COMING UP SO FRIGGIN SUDDENLY MAN.

TG: i promise ill open the pandoras fuckin box of snap addicts anonymous afterwards alright

===

CG: OK, FINE. BUT I AM HOLDING YOU TO THA --

===

CG: HA HA EGBERT. VERY FUCKING FUNNY.

CG: FOR YOUR SAKE I SERIOUSLY HOPE THIS IS JUST AN EMBARRASSING NOSTALGIA-DRIVEN LAPSE IN HUMOR AND NOT A GENUINE ATTEMPT TO "PRANK" ME. I REALLY DO!

EB: huh? who is this "egbert" you speak of? i have never heard of such a character.

CG: OH, JUST THIS BULGECRUD-HUFFING IMBECILE THAT FALLS BACK ON SHITTY PRACTICAL JOKES SO PLAYED-OUT THAT THEY PHYSICALLY HURT TO BEAR WITNESS TO.

CG: MY LOWER JAW IS THREATENING TO REVERSE-DROP WITH ENOUGH VELOCITY TO BURROW DIRECTLY INTO MY THOUGHT SPONGE, KILLING ME INSTANTLY.

CG: SO EITHER GET SOME NEW MATERIAL OR GET ME TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM, YOUR PICK.

EB: damn, ok. that does sound like some pretty serious bullshit, but…

===

EB: whoever that weirdo next to you is kind of seems like he needs medical resistance more than you do!

CG: WHAT

[bewitchingfanfiction]

Homestuck Fic (2020/01/17)

KARKAT: ...SO...

DAVE: yeah...

KARKAT: UH, SHOULD WE LIKE, GET UNDRESSED?

DAVE: not yet

DAVE: um... 

DAVE: ...

KARKAT: ...

DAVE: do you wanna like

DAVE: move to a bed or?...

KARKAT: NOT REALLY. THAT'S UH, KINDA WEIRD HONESTLY. THE COUCH IS JUST...IT'S WHERE WE HANG OUT YOU KNOW? IT JUST FEELS RIGHT.

DAVE: i get that

DAVE: ...

KARKAT: ...

KARKAT: OH FUCK THIS.

DAVE: !

KARKAT: ...

DAVE: your uh

DAVE: your hand is on my face

KARKAT: YES.

DAVE: ...what now?

KARKAT: I DON'T FUCKING KNOW. DO I LOOK LIKE SOMEBODY WHO KNOWS WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK THEY'RE DOING!? LOOK AT ME. I JUST SMACKED MY HAND ONTO THE SIDE OF YOUR FUCKING FACE AND FOR SOME REASON I'VE DECIDED TO LEAVE IT THERE. LOOK AT ME, JUST LEAVING MY HAND THERE, LIKE A CONSTANT FUCKING CARESS.

DAVE: shit

DAVE: okay let me...

DAVE: ...hm

KARKAT: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

DAVE: ...putting my hand on your chest?

KARKAT: WHY?

DAVE: i dunno

DAVE: its a human thing but it doesnt really work for trolls huh

DAVE: humans usually have shit here

DAVE: do you even have tits?

KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK? NO. DO I LOOK LIKE A FEMALE HUMAN TO YOU?

DAVE: its not just females

DAVE: males have nipples too

DAVE: just not boobs

KARKAT: FOR WHAT PURPOSE!?

DAVE: uhhhh

KARKAT: DO YOU FEED SMALL HUMANS TOO?

DAVE: jesus fuck no

DAVE: this is like the least sexiest thing we could be talking about can we please talk about literally anything else

KARKAT: OKAY. UM...T-TRY THIS...

DAVE: ...what the fuck am i touching?

KARKAT: THEY'RE CALLED GRUB SCARS...J-JUST BE GENTLE ALRIGHT?

DAVE: oh shit is this like troll tits or something?

KARKAT: NO. THEY'RE JUST SOMETHING ALL TROLLS HAVE. AND THEY'RE FUCKING SENSITIVE SO BE FUCKING CAREFUL OR I'LL SMACK YOU IN THE FACE.

DAVE: okay...should i just like

DAVE: rub them?

KARKAT: S-SURE...

DAVE: ...

DAVE: dude youre seriously red

DAVE: i think this just got a lot more intimate

KARKAT: ...MAYBE IT DID. 

DAVE: okay uh...here...

DAVE: ...

KARKAT: ...DO YOU HAVE A CHEST OR SOMETHING? I DON'T FEEL ANYTHING.

DAVE: what like boobs? no

DAVE: but this is typically what humans do during uh

DAVE: you know

KARKAT: ...

DAVE: so like

DAVE: what now

DAVE: should i touch your horns or something?

KARKAT: ! 

DAVE: is that no good? 

KARKAT: N-NO...GO AHEAD...

DAVE: ...

KARKAT: ...NGH... 

DAVE: dude youre looking kinda uh...

DAVE: horny

KARKAT: I WILL KICK YOU OUT OF THIS ROOM I SWEAR TO FUCK.

DAVE: okay okay no puns

DAVE: haha these horns are so cute though

KARKAT: !!! 

KARKAT: N-NGH...

DAVE: wow that sure is an expression youre making

DAVE: you sort of look like we finished this before we even began

KARKAT: UH DAVE?

DAVE: yeah?

KARKAT: ...Y...YOU'RE VERY CLOSE TO ME...I CAN TELL THIS IS AROUSING YOU.

DAVE: ...

DAVE: well shit

DAVE: when did we get this fucking close? at first we were a normal distance away and now its like hey my dick is pressed up against your fucking leg

DAVE: through clothes at least

KARKAT: ...THIS IS REALLY REALLY WEIRD.

DAVE: yeah

KARKAT: OKAY STOP THAT.

DAVE: what?

KARKAT: THAT!

DAVE: OW

DAVE: couldve just said 'stop rubbing my horns like a madman' you know

DAVE: instead of smacking my poor hand

DAVE: im a human karkat were delicate creatures

KARKAT: THAT'S ACTUALLY VERY CONCERNING FOR ME. WHAT IF I HURT YOU?

DAVE: hurt me? wait a fucking second

KARKAT: WHAT?

DAVE: whos being in who

KARKAT: ...

DAVE: i just assumed id be in you but

DAVE: did you have other plans?  

KARKAT: PLANS? I DIDN'T PLAN *SHIT*.

DAVE: maybe we shouldve talked about all of this more

KARKAT: NO I'M SO TIRED OR TALKING. WE'VE DISCUSSED DOING THIS FOR MONTHS DAVE. THIS REALLY SHOULDN'T BE THIS HARD.

DAVE: actually it should be

KARKAT: ...

DAVE: okay im sorry i promise no more jokes!

KARKAT: IF I HEAR ONE MORE BULLSHIT JOKE COME OUT OF YOUR MOUTH I'M LEAVING THIS FUCKING HOUSE.

DAVE: haha okay okay

KARKAT: OKAY.

KARKAT: ...SO UH...

DAVE: whoa what are we doing

KARKAT: ...

DAVE: this is uh...quite the position...

KARKAT: S...SHOULD I MOVE?

DAVE: naw man youre fine

DAVE: i just always imagined id be on top of you i guess

KARKAT: HA. WELL FUCK THAT STRIDER. EVERYONE KNOWS I'M THE DOMINANT ONE IN THIS RELATIONSHIP. YOU'RE SUBMISSIVE AS FUCK. I MEAN LOOK AT YOU, I'M LITERALLY ON TOP OF YOU AS WE SPEAK.

DAVE: oh what the fuck ever thats complete bullshit and we both know it

DAVE: im totally the dominant one

KARKAT: OH REALLY?

DAVE: uh what the fuck are youuuuoooooooooooookaayyyyy

DAVE: were just putting are hands anywhere now huh

KARKAT: IS...THIS OKAY?...

DAVE: gahh...y-yeah shit

DAVE: thats really fucking okay

KARKAT: ...I CAN'T DO MUCH WHEN WE HAVE OUR CLOTHES ON...BUT...UM...

DAVE: whats up

KARKAT: ...I-I DON'T REALLY WANNA KEEP GOING. I KINDA LIKE THIS NEW LEVEL WE'VE FOUND AND I THINK IF WE DO ANYMORE MY...WHAT DO YOU FUCKING CALL IT? A HEART? WILL FUCKING BURST.

DAVE: yeah its heart

DAVE: and yeah i kinda get what you mean

DAVE: this is uh...all pretty new to me

DAVE: being this fucking intimate and close

DAVE: so yeah we can just stop here if you want

KARKAT: CAN I...DO ONE MORE THING?

DAVE: sure 

KARKAT: ...

KARKAT: ...HRM....

DAVE: ...?

KARKAT: ...<3

DAVE: !

DAVE: ...<3

KARKAT: ...ACK, THAT WAS SO EMBARRASSING FUCK FUCK FUCK. I WANT TO BE DELETED FROM THIS WORLD RIGHT FUCKING NOW. I AM SO FUCKING SORRY I DID SOMETHING LIKE THAT WITHOUT EVEN FUCKING CONSENT-

DAVE: <3 

KARKAT: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

KARKAT: ...

KARKAT: ...<3

DAVE: haha that was fucking adorable dude 

KARKAT: R...REALLY?

DAVE: cheesy as fuck but yeah

DAVE: hehe

DAVE: i liked it

KARKAT: ...Y-YOUR SMILE IS UH...

DAVE: what?

KARKAT: ...I'LL BE BACK.

DAVE: oh what the hell where are you going

KARKAT: I NEED A BUCKET. GOODBYE.

DAVE: ...

Dave then proceeded to cover his face with his hands in embarrassment at the events that just took place. He's totally not grinning like an idiot.

Totally not.

[bubba-writes]

╔═════ ∘◦ ✰ﾐ ◦∘ ══════╗

now playing: tongue tied

0:01 ❍─────── 4:15 ↻ ⊲ Ⅱ ⊳ ↺

Volume: ▁▂▃▄▅▆▇ 100%

╚═════ ∘◦ ミ✰ ◦∘ ═════╝

welcome!

im charlie, but you can call me bubba as a nickname if you'd like!

i write for the dream smp, sally face, slashers, undertale/undertale aus, south park, homestuck, and possibly creepypasta. ill also be writing bnha when i finish it and death note once i rewatch it. (its been a while haha)

• ────── {.⋅ ♫ ⋅.} ───── •

here are the x reader characters i write for:

dream smp:

dream ♫

georgenotfound ♪

sapnap ♫

tommyinnit {PLATONIC ONLY} ♪

ranboo {PLATONIC ONLY} ♫

jschlatt/glatt ♪

technoblade {PLATONIC ONLY} ♫

philza {PLATONIC ONLY} ♪

quackity ♫

karl jacobs ♪

badboyhalo ♫

wilbur soot/ghostbur ♪

sally face:

sal fisher ♫

travis phelps ♪ {MALE/NON-BINARY READER ONLY}

undertale + aus:

classic {undertale sans} ♫

red {underfell sans} ♪

error {errortale sans} ♫

blue {underswap sans} ♪

honey {underswap papyrus} ♫

axe {horrortale sans} ♪

tatters {horrortale sans} ♫

fresh {underfresh sans} ♪

lust {lusttale sans} ♫

slashers:

billy lenz {black christmas 1974}♪

brahms heelshire {the boy 2016} ♫

leslie vernon {behind the mask: the rise of leslie vernon 2007} ♪

vincent sinclair {house of wax 2005} ♫

bubba sawyer {the texas chainsaw massacre 1974/the texas chainsaw massacre 2 1986} ♪

thomas hewitt {the texas chainsaw massacre 2003} ♫

chucky {child's play all movies} ♪

buddi/chucky {child's play 2019} ♫

south park {aged up unless platonic}:

kenny mccormick ♪

butters stotch {ill also do trans girl!butters and genderfluid!butters :] } ♫

jimmy valmer ♪

tweek tweak ♫

craig tucker ♪

homestuck (aged up):

john egbert ♫

dave strider ♪

karkat vantas ♫

eridan ampora ♪

sollux captor ♫

nepeta leijon ♪

tavros nitram ♫

gamzee makara ♪

• ────── {⋅. ♪ .⋅} ────── •

i also write ships!

ships that i write:

dream smp:

dreamnotfound {dream x george} ♫

sapnotfound {sapnap x george} ♪

dreamnotnap {dream x sapnap} ♫

sleepy boys inc. (PLATONIC ONLY) ♪

skephalo {skeppy x badboyhalo} ♫

karlnapity {karl x sapnap x quackity} ♪

karlnap {karl x sapnap} ♫

karlity {karl x quackity} ♪

sally face:

salvis {sal x travis} ♫

undertale + aus:

bloodlust {horror!sans x lust!sans} ♪

horrorberry {horror!sans x swap!sans} ♫

kustard {classic!sans x fell!sans} ♪

cherryberry {fell! sans x swap! sans} ♫

errorberry {error!sans x swap!sans} ♪

bad sanses poly {horror x nightmare x killer x dust (x error x cross possibly?)} ♫

slashers:

lenzshire {billy lenz x brahms heelshire} ♫

south park {aged up unless platonic}:

bunny {butters x kenny} ♪

kyman {kyle x cartman} ♫

creek {tweek x craig} ♪

(maybe) tyde {clyde x token} ♫

homestuck:

davekat {dave x karkat} ♪

erisol {eridan x sollux} ♫

PB&J {tavros x gamzee} ♪

johnkat {john x karkat} ♫

johndave {john x dave} ♪

• ────── {.⋅ ♫ ⋅.} ───── •

rules:

please dont request smut. i am a minor.

i will not romanticize things like self harm, depression, anxiety, or anything else.

all x reader stories/headcanons will be gender neutral/non-binary, unless requested.

i will write specifics for x readers, such as "winged!reader" or "trans male!reader", for example!

most of my writing will be bullet fics/headcanons! im not a very talented writer in all honesty, and i feel more comfortable keeping things short.

trigger warnings will be put at the beginning of the post, as well as tagged at the bottom. if you're an anon/requester and you have a trigger that wasnt tagged on accident/a "strange" trigger, send me a message! i will make sure that everyone is comfortable here :]

you can request platonic or romantic for any character, other than ones that say {PLATONIC ONLY} which you can only request platonic fics of. you can also request headcanons/scenarios for multiple characters separately as well as ships x readers.

for mcyts/dream smp people, i will not do the real people, only their characters.

im dyslexic please bear with me on the spelling lmao.

i don't really like to write for female readers because i feel like us lads and non-binary lily pads need some more fics for us (my boyfriend came up with that joke lmaoaoao), but you can request it and ill probably do it anyway.

if theres a character/pairing that you think i forgot/you would like to see thats not on this list then feel free to let me know! if im uncomfortable with it ill tell you. dont be worried about bothering me, most of the time im on tumblr anyway and ill most likely respond fairly quickly.

• ────── {⋅. ♪ .⋅} ────── •

♫ don't be afraid to send asks! id love to have anons and others on this blog! ♫

♪ {IF ANY OF THE CCS MENTIONED IN THIS POST ARE UNCOMFORTABLE/BECOME UNCOMFORTABLE WITH SHIPPING/X READERS PLEASE ALERT ME AND THEY WILL BE REMOVED FROM THE LIST} ♪

[karkatenjoyer]

i’ve been thinking about how dave and karkat both coped with their fucked up childhoods by trying to love the thing that was the reason for how fucked up their childhoods were. there was a time when dave genuinely wanted to emulate bro and a time when he at least tried to think that bro’s way of doing things was normal or sensible or cool. meanwhile karkat though he could bootstrap his way to the top despite his mutation and told meenah that he always “respected” the condesce.

like!! dave coped with his abuse by going “what are you talking about? bro was great. he taught me so much. i’d never have learned how to defend against a blade-wielding maniac at like age fucking 8 without him also he made such sick beats and sometimes even bought food every once in a while. bro was so cool” … and karkat coped with his persecution by going “what are you talking about? alternia was great. wanna hear how much i know about troll romance, a system that exists in part because if we didn’t provide the empress with enough genetic material, we would die, except that i would have died anyway because our laws dictated that i should have been killed as a baby? my planet was so cool”

and i don’t think it was just pure innocence to the real motives and gravity of the forces at play. like, sure they didn’t know anything else firsthand, but the lads consumed media and they’re also pretty smart. obviously it wasn’t normal. they didn’t just rationalize their circumstances, they forced themselves to try to view them positively. and if you have a positive opinion of something that hates you and/or wants you dead, wow!!! the amount of self-hatred they internalized!!!! it’s flooring!!!! i know this has all been said before but UGHHHHH!!!!!!!!

btw this is why it confuses me to no end when people assume there was this one-sided “karkat playing therapist to dave” dynamic when it had to have been so mutual… because they have such a similar kind of trauma. i’m always harping about knights and armor and masks and how poignant sharing a class is in a Davekat Context… and also wow look how much their masks represent their respective backgrounds. i’m also not using mask and armor interchangeably here….. to really split hairs w my metaphor, armor is protection but it outlines the shape of your body. so dave’s pokerface irony haha it’s all a joke to me vibe is his armor, karkat’s shouty grrr hey douchebulge listen up because i am RANTING vibe is his. but dave actually does delight in irony and skewering things for the fun of it, and karkat actually does love to go on a good tirade. but younger dave’s tendency towards homophobic insults, his “admiration” for his bro, that’s his mask. younger karkat wanting to be a merciless badass right-hand man of the empress, that’s his mask. like, that’s them trying to be what their circumstances demand them to be

like, their self-loathing also makes them hate each other so uniquely. and they’re also so uniquely suited to help each other untangle all of that. but not without drama and tension!! it’s not a walk in the park with these two, certainly not at first!! but ultimately, they are so cosmically well-matched!! they have the potential to understand each other so heartachingly well!!!!

anyway my conclusion is as follows

1. (givs dave and karkat both a hug while crying)

2. abusing and neglecting a child is bad

3. threatening a child with death for an immutable trait of his that he can’t control is bad

4. narrative foil i love that stuff it’s way better than alumininum foil

5. what if we kissed and we were both knights

6. sburb knight class makes me go AHHHHHH

7. dave and karkat :)

6. dave and karkattttt :’)

8. sometimes the only way to cope with something that sucks is to pretend you love it. sometimes you have to make meaning out of a senseless suffering because how can you accept that you’re just going through this for nothing? sometimes even if you find some meaning it still doesn’t hold up and you’re still just faced with how much it fucking sucked and hurt you and there’s really no getting around it no matter how much you obfuscate. and then the self loathing you developed through liking the thing that hurt you is still there even though you now understand that it sucked. oof, been there boys!! see above about sburb knight class makes me go ahhhhhh