#meanwhile my pc is still in a fucking box so like

[orphyd]

10 long and arduous days until Growing Together like-

[victimized-martyr]

Uh 2, 6, and 10 please I would rlly like to see ur take on these :>

2. Who is the (overall) smartest in stan’s group? 

So I’m gonna talk myself thru this answer actually— Ok, My first instinct is to say Kyle bc his whole deal is wanting to learn things and (usually) is the voice of reason, he’s always been gifted with wit and Cartman’s had to play catch up since (they’re evenly matched now, but still. the fact that Cartman’s had to develop himself meanwhile Kyle’s always been Like That says a lot). But, Cartman is Kyle’s weakness.

I’d say then, Stan is contender for the smartest because he’s a skeptic that easily sees through people, whereas Kyle is the more emotionally gullible of the two. He doesn’t take Cartman’s shit and for that reason I don’t see them paired up often bc anything Cartman would try to pull, Stan would shut down unless his image is involved ofc.

Cartman is the most gifted of the group, with a wide array of talents he can master within days and often spearheads plans for the guys with unmatched confidence. He’s uniquely attuned to the world of SP, he knows people and is good at anticipating what they want/ what they’ll say. in the words of Matt, he’s “an evil little genius”. But, Kyle is his weakness+ in conjunction with his broken mind— paranoia, one-track mind, lack of self respect, keeps him from reaching his full potential. Perhaps it’s for the best.

Kenny has been shown to be a revolutionary scientist in PC, which shows that mixed in w/ that horniness is the potential for a scientifically inclined brain. He’s the only of the 3 who’s most decent hearted, and has dignity. He takes his role as vigilante seriously, the true martyr of south park (eat your heart out Kyle Brofloski). He’s not obsessed with self image (stan) or with one of his friends (kyle and cartman). Perhaps Kenny’s the secret genius of the 4.

6. Is creek really that great?

Yeah, I think it is. Trey took Craig and Tweek’s dynamic in a way no one say coming, he cheekily canonized them and didn’t stop at that. He showed them facing couple issues authentic to their characters and doing their best to rise above it bc they’ve grown to care for each other. (Put it Down, Budda Box)

Shippers might be loath to admit, but creek is an ally to the Kymans. Trey is out here writing so many of his couples The Same Way and I’m just here for the ride dude— Duo who’re at odds, physically fight, develop a bond neither of them particularly wanted or saw coming, but managed to fit in each other’s lives and haven’t left since.

Creek is based. It’s overwhelmingly shipped, but like, it’s also a ship that’s misunderstood? It’s good.

10. if you had to match each kid in craig’s gang with the kid that was the most like them in stan’s gang, who would be the most like who?

uhhh what ok uh. Clyde is Cartman (fatass solidarity) Craig is Stan, Tolkien is Kyle… well fuck I wouldn’t say Jimmy is Kenny bc they’re kinda different. I don’t like this question actually, ble

[skriaki]

TOP 10 NINTENDO SWITCH GAMES 2019 - my arbitrary list!

Sometimes it's good to be proven wrong. I was pretty sceptical when the Switch was first announced, as it didn't seem too different from the Wii U's gamepad. Then I spent two years watching Nintendo enjoy a complete reversal of fortune, to the point of potentially amassing a more compelling library than Sony's or Microsoft's consoles. So that's how I quite suddenly found myself buying a Switch in October 2019, after having resisted the PS4 and Xbone for five whole years, and my free time has since been dominated by this little machine that defied the odds.

Some of Nintendo's business decisions can still seem inexplicable, but releasing a powerful handheld console that can also be docked with a TV at a moment's notice has proved to be an inspired idea, rather than the gimmick the Wii U's gamepad mostly turned out to be. And along with Nintendo's dependable series of top-notch exclusives, the Switch has enjoyed much better third-party support, which is how I ended up buying Dark Souls for the fourth bloody time just because the option to play it portably was too tempting to resist.

The Switch is the first console I've bought since the PS3 and for all Nintendo's quirks, there's a reason the Switch has dominated Christmas wishlists for three years running. Games like Super Mario Odyssey feel like full-size adventures that just happen to have a portable option, as opposed to handheld games you can also play on the big screen. This is the first year in a long while that I've actually played enough topical titles to justify a "games of the year" list, even if my recent Nintendo bias is pretty blatant.

So with that caveat in mind, and in no particular order, here's my entirely subjective list of the best Nintendo Switch games of 2019.

Luigi's Mansion 3

This is a franchise I'd always been curious about and can finally have an opinion on. The process of going from floor to floor of the hotel hoovering up ghosts and solving puzzles is pretty straightforward, but Luigi's Mansion 3 has so much polish and personality crammed into the cartridge. Luigi is immediately lovable as a determined coward, and each level has a wildly different theme that's realised with extravagant audio and visual flair, so progress always feels rewarding. Though this isn't true horror by any means, there can be an unsettling atmosphere and some of the bosses are pretty freaky. I officially love this oddball franchise and am desperate for a chance to play the story again in co-op. Unquestionably a first-class exclusive.

Doom (Switch port)

Not to be confused with the impressive Switch version of Doom 2016, this is the iconic Doom made cheap and accessible. While purists may take issue with some minor technical deviations, this is the first time I've got most of the way through Doom because the portability and *glorious* true dual-stick control makes this easily my favourite version. There's even a cheat menu for when I just want to mindlessly punch hell beasts. The main thing that ages Doom is its maze-like structure, but playing it casually experience alleviates that frustration somewhat. At a grand total of four pounds, this is a BFB (big fucking bargain).

Untitled Goose Game

You know a game is good when the only asterisk I put on my recommendation is that it *may* be overpriced. Untitled Goose Game took the internet by storm this year because it's the quintessential indie game: cute, simple and with anti-authoritarian undertones. As a horrible goose, it's your mission to cause havoc in an unsuspecting English village, interacting with people and objects to cause chain reactions of chaos. Some of the puzzle solutions are maybe a bit obscure, but 90% of the time just messing around with everything in the area will lead to a solution. Untitled Goose Game makes up for its brevity with sheer comedic charm, feeling much better-designed than a "lul so random" affair like Goat Simulator. A honking good time.

Terraria (Switch port)

I have spent literally hundreds of hours on the PC version of Terraria, so when I was broke after buying my Switch the new Terraria port was an obvious cost-effective choice. While the controls aren't as precise, the amount of time spent mining and sorting through loot makes this a great handheld experience. I can't comment on the multiplayer options but few games represent such a sheer value for money, as there's always a new cave to explore or a new boss to overcome. Time has been kind to this 2011 classic, grind notwithstanding.

Yooka-Laylee and the Impossible Lair

While I personally enjoyed the original Yooka-Laylee, it was definitely flawed and I never seriously expected to see a sequel. But Yooka-Laylee and the Impossible Lair launched quite abruptly and did a pretty spectacular job of upstaging its predecessor. All the previous game's half-baked feel has been replaced with clever design touches, like the equippable tonics which grant helpful abilities at the cost of a currency penalty. The titular Lair is actually the final level and available to throw yourself at right from the beginning, but beating it without first obtaining more hitpoints by completing other stages is incredibly hard, which is a great way to incentivize progress without denying more confident players the option of beating the game earlier if they can meet the challenge. Impossible Lair might be this year's biggest surprise, and despite a modest budget I think it's worthy of comparison to excellent 2D platformers like Rayman Legends. Just don't expect to defeat Capital B on your first attempt.

A Hat In Time (Switch port)

I recently reviewed A Hat In Time but at the risk of repeating myself, it's one of the most charming games of the last few years and an incredibly impressive crowdfunded achievement. Mario's offerings may be a grander technical feat, but A Hat In Time is a fast and fabulous journey through a series of weird and wonderful worlds that all feel distinct in content and tone. It's very openly inspired by GameCube-era platformers like Mario Sunshine and Psychonauts and it easily scratches that itch. Simply one of the best original platformers of this generation, and I defy you not to love Hat Kid's cheeky antics.

Spyro Reignited Trilogy (Switch port)

As someone who thinks the original Spyro trilogy holds up better than most early 3D games, I'd have actually preferred a simple port rather than a full remake, but The Reignited Trilogy is honestly impeccable. The updated visuals are gorgeous while maintaining the general style of those old, jaggy models, and very little of the gameplay or content has changed except for sensible updates like the ability to immediately warp between every level you've visited. Having full dual-analogue control is also an absolute godsend even for a PS1 veteran like me. Though Spyro may seem a bit basic these days when faced with modern platformer marvels, the Reignited Trilogy makes these old favourites accessible again at a generous price point.

Ring Fit Adventure

Yes, I have a Wii kicking around in a box somewhere. No, Wii Fit never held my attention as anything more than a curiosity. Ring Fit Adventure, meanwhile, is limited only by my cholesterol-encrusted heart and dislike of excessive showering. This is an honest-to-goodness attempt at making an RPG out of a workout toy, and the amount of polish put into the game's presentation and hardware implementation is pretty remarkable. Levels involve jogging on the spot and squeezing the ring accessory to collect goodies and overcome obstacles, and periodically you'll engage in turn-based combat where you use a custom selection of exercise moves to deal damage. It's a fantastic idea pulled off much more elegantly than it sounds. The ring accessory unfortunately makes this quite an expensive game, so it'll take a lot of regular use to get your money's worth, but I can honestly (and surprisingly) say that exercise suddenly becomes more compelling when it's presented as a light RPG adventure with anthropomorphic gym equipment encouraging you to take breaks and drink plenty of water.

Pokémon Sword/Shield

Disclaimer: I can only give my impressions from 25 hours of playing Pokémon Shield, so this is DEFINITELY not a full review. That being said, this is still an easy recommendation to existing Pokemaniacs and a good starting point for any new acolytes. While the core formula hasn't evolved (har har) much since the very first Pokemon, Sword and Shield still has a number of modern quality of life improvements that make previous generations show their age. I've had so much fun building a core crew of cute and/or badass 'mons in a weird Nintendo version of Britain, and the online features combine with a VASTLY improved random encounter system to make grinding far less of a concern. The wild area takes some getting used to, but it's satisfying to come back and capture the huge Onyx you had to run away from a few hours before. Even if Pokémon Sword/Shield has some technical blemishes and could have pushed the series further in some regards, it's still easy to see why this franchise has maintained such a beloved status for so long.

Red Faction: Guerrilla Re-mars-tered (Switch port)

Along with Dark Souls, Red Faction was a game I never even knew I needed on the go, but now I've got it I can't imagine ever going back. A cult classic due to its amazing destruction physics, Red Faction sees you leading a proletariat revolution on Mars, literally tearing down corporate monuments to free the working class from systematic oppression. The open world is a bit claustrophobic and the shooting isn't exactly mind-blowing, but there's a reason I've beaten Red Faction every couple of years ever since its original 2009 release. The Switch port does the game justice and if you set the difficulty to easy then this is one of the best rage-venting experiences money can buy. So yes, I recommend getting your ass to Mars.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 173: Campus Tour

Previously on BnHA: Class A hashed out everyone’s roles for the upcoming band performance/dance party. Momo wound up on keyboard, Jirou is doing vocals in addition to bass, and Kaminari and Tokoyami will be playing guitar. A staging team was also assembled, consisting of Aoyama, Sero, Kirishima, Kouda, and Shouto. And the rest of class A (as well as Aoyama again, for some reason) will be on the dance team. The next day Deku went to meet with All Might. He explained that he could only maintain 20% OFA for a short while and that it wasn’t enough to beat Overhaul and he needed some sort of long distance attack. All Might was all “then LET’S TAKE THIS OUTSIDE, SON”, and they went out to the forest and he had Deku activate 20% OFA and do a cool wind attack and fuck up some trees! And long story short, basically Deku has to learn how to utilize 20% OFA in just his hands rather than in full cowl, so that way he can whip out the wind attack whenever he wants without putting too much strain on himself. Having settled that, we then fast-forwarded one month later to the day of the cultural fest, (ETA: nope) with Mirio bringing Eri to U.A.

Today on BnHA: Mirio and Deku take Eri on a fun tour of U.A. to help her get a little more familiar with the place before the chaos and commotion of the festival. During the course of their wanderings they first come across the members of class B who are constructing the set and props for the fantasy play they’ll be doing in the festival. They then stop by to greet Hadou (who’s running for Miss Con which is basically a beauty pageant thing) and Tamaki before heading down to the support department, where they ooh and ahh at Mei’s cool giant robot. Finally they take a breather in the cafeteria and ask Eri what she thinks. She says she’s not sure, but since everyone is trying their hardest, she wants to see how it will turn out. The kids take that as a win, and Rat Principal -- who is sitting at a table nearby -- says that he’s excited too. We have a brief flashback to a meeting he had with the Commissioner General, who wanted U.A. to cancel the event. Rat Principal begged him to reconsider, saying that he felt it was necessary for the students. In the end they got the okay, on the stipulation that if the security is breached or the alarm goes off for any reason, the event will immediately be called off and evacuated. Back in the present, Deku bids Eri farewell, and one week later Mina abruptly boots him off of the dance team.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 199 now, so any ETAs will reflect that.)

did these motherfuckers really just spell Kacchan as Ka-chan

(ETA: the Jaimini’s Box translations have had a lot of issues lately so I’ve mostly been sticking to Mangastream now)

also [whips out nerd glasses] according to the U.A. class schedule from the databook, the kids in fact do not have Saturdays off, typically. though maybe they have this specific Saturday off? since they said the temporary license course group also had a break

anyways, these guys are lucky that I’m in a super good mood and don’t feel like nitpicking too much BECAUSE!

IIDA MOTHERFUCKING TENYA HAS HIT THE DANCE FLOOR Y’ALL

I’m going to create a new folder on my PC right now just for pictures of Iida dancing. once it is full I will post them all, and then whenever I am sad all I’ll have to do is go back and look at that post

(ETA: oh yeah I still need to do that at some point lol. when the going gets tough, remember Dancing Iida)

also it appears that Aoyama has fully jumped ship to the dance team, because the staging team is just Shouto, Sero, Kiri, and Kouda now

meanwhile Mirio is hiding in the bushes plotting some sort of hilarious entrance!

BUT HE HAS BEEN SPOTTED

DAMMIT DEKU

also! I figured that since Eri was there, it must be the day of the festival! but I guess it isn’t! which means he’s brought Eri to hang out with all of her class A sibs early! WHICH MEANS THIS IS GOING TO BE MY FAVORITE CHAPTER OF ALL TIME, ISN’T IT

MIRIO WHAT ARE YOU DOING

I’m crying sob help

lmao Ojiro is all IS THAT SENPAI’S KID?? as though that’s somehow the ONLY POSSIBLE EXPLANATION. not his little sister, not his cousin, not even Aizawa’s kid despite him also being right there. nope. this must be Toogata Mirio’s illegitimate child

(ETA: Mangastream version just says “is that his kid” which makes me think he is in fact referring to Aizawa, which makes a lot more sense but is less hilarious though.)

Ochako and Tsuyu are immediately complimenting Eri’s fucking adorable outfit, which is 100% the correct reaction. FOR FUCK’S SAKE. HER FIRST TIME WEARING SHOES AND THEY GOT HER THE CUTEST FUCKING BOOTS IN THE WORLD. and the little kid purse that matches her outfit. I can’t

Mirio is now hauling himself out from the bushes dejectedly while Aizawa explains that they got permission from the principal to let her visit

apparently the principal quite rightly said that Eri should visit on a quieter day first so she could get used to being around people since she’s been cut off from society until now and they don’t want her to get overwhelmed

and she is indeed shyly running back to Mirio and taking his hand

so now Iida’s coming up to introduce himself

...and Mineta is officially being the MOST cancelled he’s ever been, holy fucking shit. usually I just ignore his crap, but jesus. “I’m looking forward to meeting you again in ten years!” he says. to a six-year-old. how the fuck is that funny. can’t Aizawa just fucking expel his ass already. can we just delete him already please. god

(ETA: it’s even worse coming right off of 172 where he was much more tolerable than usual. one step forward, ten million steps back. took so many fucking steps backward he went and tumbled off a fucking cliff good grief)

ugh. anyway, so Mirio’s asking Deku if he wants to come with them

they’re going to walk around U.A. with Eri and give her the tour I guess

EYYYYY

I was just thinking to myself, it didn’t seem right that all of the other interns got to say hi and not him!

omg

HE’S KIRISHIMA! YOUR NEW BEST FRIEND!

now they should go take her to watch the band practice because I want her to meet Bakugou. I just do. it could go very good or very bad but either way, I’m all in

(ETA: am I the only one who wants this?? I agree with the anon who said a while back that we have been robbed of Shouto+Eri interactions, but also! Bakugou Katsuki, who recently leveled up and got his babysitting certification! Bakugou, who would be so awkward around her, but supposing there was ever a crisis situation though? he would be super gruff and he’d tell her not to worry and that he won’t let anything happen to her and that if any villains try to start some shit he’ll kick their ass. Bakugou who wouldn’t be at all intimidated by her quirk and would think it’s badass. Bakugou who also knows what it’s like to be held prisoner by villains, even if it was only for a short while and under very different circumstances. idk you guys I just think there’s a lot of potential there and I’d love to see it. my list of people who I want to see interacting with Eri is getting fairly long by this point. and for that matter, Aizawa himself is on that fucking list too because even though he’s been acting as her guardian, it’s usually Mirio and Deku who interact with her directly.)

why are these weirdos putting their uniforms back on

is there some rule that you have to be in uniform whenever you’re at school or what

(ETA: actually this is probably the case since everyone else also has either their regular or gym uniforms on)

anyway, they’re running across some third years from the business department, and they seem to know Mirio and they’re saying hi

why is everyone on this damn campus jumping to this conclusion lmao

(ETA: and this time the MS translation is making the same joke. I think)

they’re handing out program fliers to him and Deku and telling them to come visit during the festival

oh dang

holy shit. they’re really going all out. even for something like a culture festival, U.A. don’t play

EYYYYYYYYY

I love that Monoma appears to be standing up on tiptoes to peek at them excitedly. “FUCK YEAH TIME TO INDULGE IN MY FAVORITE PASTIME”

Deku’s asking Eri if she’s okay as though he’s not the one who nearly had a heart attack just now

she says she thought it was the “falling lady”, referring to Ryuukyuu. oh my god. so fucking cute I’m gonna die

(ETA: the notion that Eri’s lasting impression of Ryuukyuu is as the giant dragon that came busting through the roof just tickles me so fucking much you guys)

Monoma is declaring war as usual

WE’LL SEE ABOUT THAT, FRIEND

oh my god

“completely original”

this is the best joke ever if this translation is accurate. please be accurate. class B you are giving me life right now

(ETA: you bet it’s accurate. and since this is the future, THIS SHIT IS ALL IN THE PUBLIC DOMAIN NOW, Y’ALL. so put those lawyers away and prepare yourselves for the fantasy epic of a lifetime)

Awase is knocking him out and apologizing because Kendou wasn’t there so “he went unchecked”

OH MY GOD

HE’S RUNNING FOR MISS CON. THIS WHOLE ARC TRULY IS HORIKOSHI’S TENDER, LOVING APOLOGY FOR THAT HALLWAY OF BULLSHIT

(ETA: yet another mistranslation from Jaimini but CAN YOU IMAGINE THOUGH. but yeah, obviously what he’s actually saying is that Kendou is running)

Deku’s still shocked and says Aizawa didn’t say a single word to them about Miss Con. probably because he wasn’t able to mention it to you all at a time when Mineta was conveniently out of the room

(ETA: and also because it’s the least rational thing in the world and he will be DAMNED if his kids get caught up in that nonsense when they have more important things to be doing)

Mirio is apologizing to Eri for “suddenly showing you U.A.’s bad side” lmao

look at his face though

“I’m sorry Eri. Monoma was acting like a cotton-headed ninny muggins”

EYYYYYYYYYYY

she’s got it in the bag this year for sure

she’s floating over to say hi!

IS THAT TAMAKI WITH THE CAMERA??

Deku is so flustered he can’t even make eye contact. U.A.’s very own awkward bi icon

Hadou’s saying that she’s never won and that there’s a girl in the class G support team who beats her every year

in a world of quirks, it occurs to me that even lashes like this might legitimately be “maybe she’s born with it” and not automatically “maybe it’s maybelline”

EYYYYYYYYYYYYY

GOOD OL’ TAMAKI

Hadou is smiling and saying that this year she’ll definitely win

I’m amazed and pleased that she hasn’t started asking Eri inappropriate questions. even she can respect boundaries when it’s important! UNLIKE SOME CANCELLED PURPLE FUCKS

ohhh snap now they’re stopping by the development studio

okay now this looks more like what I was expecting the last time we saw this place

CAN ONE OF YOU GENIUSES PLEASE BUILD SOMETHING TO RESCUE TONY STARK. HE IS STRANDED IN SPACE

Mirio says they’re preparing for the technology exhibition that they hold every year. apparently it gets a lot of media attention

oh here we go

eyyyyyyyyy

so she’s showing off her latest giant robot, and they’re acting appropriately impressed. everyone loves giant robots

she says that for the hero department, the sports festival is where they garner attention. but now their department gets to be the main attraction

although, given the type of attention the sports festival garnered, you might want to reconsider being so pleased about that

also, didn’t Aizawa say that this year’s festival would be more lowkey due to all the shit that’s gone down recently? I mean, that’s the plan, anyway. apparently we’re going to be invaded by a gentlevillain so we’ll see how that actually goes

oh shit, Mei’s robot just blew the fuck up

“AGAIN”

HEY EVERYONE! IT’S A SINGLE PANEL OF THE TENTH MOST POPULAR CHARACTER, SHINSOU

HEY’S STILL HERE. JUST FYI. STILL EXISTS. STILL POPULAR

(ETA: you guys I’m so excited I finally got to the part of the manga where Shinsou Does Stuff Again. you don’t even know)

so now they’re at the cafeteria and Eri’s sitting down with some juice

they’re asking what she thought and whether she thinks she’ll be comfortable at the festival

;_____;

she is so good so pure I love her please protect her always!!!

lmaooooo

ERI YOUR BROTHERS ARE HUGE FUCKING DORKS

OH MY GOD

WERE YOU TWO HERE THIS WHOLE TIME

Rat Principal says he’s also excited for the culture festival and that the students always do their best to create a good time for everyone

oh?

I’m so curious to hear more about U.A.’s behind the scenes struggles. dammit. Rat Principal always gotta keep a tight lid on gossip

now he’s walking off and telling them to enjoy the festival to their heart’s content

YESSSSS A FLASHBACK TO U.A.’S BEHIND THE SCENES STRUGGLES!!

LAY IT ON ME

well now we finally know who this guy is. this is the second time we’ve seen him; the first was right after All Might’s retirement

he’s not wrong. U.A. has been a magnet for trouble lately, and they have several students who are known targets of the League. not to mention a weakened All Might. basically another attack is probably inevitable at some point, and they don’t want to test fate, because if there is an attack and anything goes wrong, that’s probably it for the school and that’s the last thing they need. they desperately need this place to stay open

Rat Principal acknowledges that he’s right, but he says that he considers this event to be necessary for the kids

and that’s true also! they really need the morale boost right about now. they’ve had one hell of a year

Rat Principal, you’re really not so bad for a totally evil guy

so they apparently worked out an agreement, and have fortified security yet again, and if by any chance an alarm sounds -- even if it’s false -- they will immediately suspend activities and evacuate

back in the cafeteria, Midnight says that talk of class A’s program has even made it to the staff room, and she’s telling them to work hard

well of course class A was discussed in the staff room. I imagine they’re the number one subject of gossip most of the time no matter what

Eri’s asking what Deku’s class is doing, and he’s explaining that it’s going to be a dance party

this chapter cleared my skin and watered my crops you guys and it’s just the best

and now we’re cutting to one week later

LMAO

WE’RE SORRY MAN. YOU JUST DON’T GOT THE RHYTHM

ah well. at least he has an adorable little munchkin of a sibling whom he can now spend the day wandering the school with again, maybe. and beating back gentlevillains with his new finger cowl wind move

there is a bonus page but I’m short on time today to include it, so I’ll just throw it in there tomorrow instead! plus ultra!

[elevanetheirin]

Comment to the Gaming Community Re: Anthem

This is going to be long

I’ve been playing Anthem since the free trial, I played during the early release with Origin Premier, I’ve read the reddit threads, I’ve read the reviews. While I am indeed a Bioware fan as my followers know this isn’t about my being a fan, there are games Bioware makes that I can’t deal with but I want to say something in regards to the hate they have been getting with Anthem.

First of all this is all reminiscent of the MEA hate that caused EA to pull DLCs for MEA which for those of us who like the game was BS especially when the real issues found in MEA were that it wasn’t the same as the other 3 Mass Effects, which Bioware vehemently addressed before release. Don’t get me wrong, the appearance/CC issues WERE issues and those were addressed immediately, but each time an issue was addressed the gaming community seemed to have gotten this idea that that meant they could demand more and more things and were pissed when they didn’t get them. Using Bioware as the scapegoat of their EA hate. I’ve played several hundred hours of MEA and if you take out that it’s not Mass Effect it’s a good game with a good story. If you’re hell bent on MASS EFFECT, yes it’s going to suck. I’ve got family who hated it in the beginning because it wasn’t, after a year away, went back and played and now love it. 

Anthem and Bioware seem to have been held to a different set of standards with it’s release than other MMOs. Yes, all new MMOs get some hate because OMG it doesn’t work like I wanted it to! However Anthem was getting hate threads on reddit during it’s TRIAL and now, if you play the game  you realize that Bioware edited the actual quests so they weren’t the same in the trial as the actual released game, which if there were bugs in the trial it’s now obvious why, I mean they edited the story and the game play. There’s a Stronghold in the trial whose entrance isn’t a stronghold in the game for ffs. I’ve read reviews and I use that term loosely that were written while the reviewer hadn’t gotten even partially through the story and yet they complain about the ambiance of Fort Tarsis, the long conversations they don’t want to have etc. Anthem while an MMO is still like all Bioware games a story driven game. You need to participate in the story to further parts of the story.

People complaining about the grinding and how there’s already SO much grinding meanwhile the point was and Mark Darrah had stated such, that when the first content update occurs that every one playing would be at the same part of the story. Guess what? The first content update is in March, which means yes, most of us ARE at the point where we’re ready for new content. If you’ve played 200+ hours already (I’ve read people claiming to have put in nearly 300 hours) and the game hasn’t been out a month what did you expect to be doing at this point? Grinding would be all you have left in ANY new mmo and blaming Bioware for that is total bs and it’s on you. Go play a different game for awhile. JFC.

I realize that lately all games are getting some serious backlash from the armchair devs who think they can create and code a game better than anyone else while never having learned coding EVER, but the community has gotten to be total shit bags about Anthem. Posting on Reddit that the Devs are no longer being transparent because they don’t want to participate in a community that calls them names I could never even come up with, bitching about the tiniest issues in regards to *gasp* loot. Y’all I’m playing the same damn game you are and while the loot isn’t fucking great sometimes, why would I keep playing if I had already completely geared out my Javelin when there’s no new content yet? I mean low loot drops at this point don’t bother me. I am more worried tbh about what Bioware is going to do about gear when everyone is in Legendary gear and there’s still years of story and game play left. TBH I think the gear drops too easily, with all the fully geared Javelins out there and we aren’t even a month in.

Most of all I am appalled at the people who speak the way they do to other living breathing human beings because the game isn’t 100% up to their standards meanwhile ignoring the fact that Bioware has never made an MMO like this before EVER, that this whole thing is new to the team and to the company. Keeping that in mind I think they did a phenomenal job on Anthem with not that many issues (crashing and load times which needed to be adjusted due to reasons listed below). Even the crashes can be attributed to a situation where you just can’t know what’s going to happen until thousands upon thousands of people log into servers for 3 different platforms. You caught that right? THREE different platforms for an MMO. There are very few MMOs that work on console AND pc. ESO is one but that game had serious issues when it released too yet the gaming community may have gotten upset there was not the venom spewing hate we read about with Anthem.

Gamers, I am ashamed to be a part of this community. I am ashamed that those of us who don’t feel this way, who think the attitude is shit aren’t standing up for these devs.

Bethesda laid off 500+ employees because they didn’t make MORE money than they did even though they had record sales.. WTF do you think EA is going to do if you assholes don’t STFU and then oh you’ll have more fodder for the EA hate because “There goes EA shutting down another triple A studio” no asshole, that was on you!

I’m not saying you can’t report your issues. That’s a given, what I am saying is keep it civil. What I am saying is maybe consider that some of the issues are just issues that didn’t come up until now. It IS possible. Not a single MMO has worked 100% right out of the box. Daybreak games, used to be owned by Sony Online Entertainment has made these games for decades (Everquest 1 is 20 years old today) and their expansions require patch after patch and update after update for days in a row something Anthem has not had to deal with. It happens. STOP BEING BABIES, stop acting like entitled little bitches and be a fucking human being to fallible human beings. SHIT HAPPENS to quote Cassandra Pentaghast “DEAL...WITH..IT.” but be considerate of other people. There ARE people on the other side of the keyboard.

[pkmntrainergreyze]

The Emo School (Chapter 1)

Previous Next

Chapter 1: An Emo Box of Misery with Pastel Pink Ecstasy

I used to think anyone doing anything weird was weird. Now I know that it is the people that call others weird that are weird.

-Paul McCartney

09/12/01

Finishing up my plate, well, I couldn’t lie about a few scraps of mixed vegetables on it, the boys decided it’ll be fun to move out of the uncomfortable chairs. I couldn’t escape or not recoil from Ryan’s glares. I know what’s up with him, and the dirty look he’s giving is giving me the creeps. He makes me shiver down my spine and I swear one glare from this long legged man makes me want to stop everything I do- heck, if he was some soldier I’d be doing push-ups right now. (oh hallelujah he isn’t)

“Geez, I just couldn’t finish eating carrots right now Ryro. Is that so big of a problem?” He scoffed before lending me his hoodie. As weird as it sounds I need his dang cologne, it smells pretty darn good, but as much as possible I wouldn’t smell the hoodie in front of him and would rather wear it since it’s d*mn cold for me recently. He seemed to crunch the paper bag once he stared at the floor, as if some cockroach crawled nearby under the shade of the table.

Wait, is there?

“…Ryan, is there-”

“Yes, you spilt my milk in my f*cking man purse B-den”

Oh crap

“Congratulations”

He gave me the Tyrone tone of voice. The same blank yet forcefully enthusiastic voice you hear from the man that often wears a business outfit and a tie.

Where’s the escape Trainer button when you need it?

His face… I couldn’t see it under his brushed locks of hair. I’m not sure whether to look or not to look, either way it’ll probably just result to a really bad, salty ending. Sounds like something you see on Walmart eh? Bittersweet I guess? I am not so sure.

Oh F- the bell rang. It’s really torturous to hear it every single day of the week, especially the inescapable Mondays we have here at school, technically, everybody’s school.

Dallon grabbed his bag and left quickly, even faster than Spencer was when he ran over a advert pole drunk, remind to tell you that story sometime, just not today. Dallon’s a pretty straight guy, he’s like this dad who would be so overprotective of his children- or his students in the real world perspective, but when you think of the other side of that trait, he’s making fucking Dad jokes that my own Dad wouldn’t say. My Dad probably has a better sense of humor than Dallon- Dadlon, whatever.

And honestly speaking, he’s probably trying to avoid making any conversation with us, since we’re kind of talking sweet sweet cocaine.

Ahh yes, I’m about to walk back to the same tracks juniors walk to. I’ll probably receive about ten hearty smiles on my way there. Bet you ten bucks.

Alright, I finally forced my feet to walk and leave the table. Reaching for the end of the cafeteria…

Mrs Jackson smiled. One- wait, that doesn’t count as a junior? She looks nasty tho? Fine, stop judging my poor taste alright?

Passing by Ms Fletcher- okay, one. Her small smile is cleary not that visible. She’s the same child writing poems and speech-y crap for the principal to get quote on quote “extra credit” when in reality she’s serving weeks of detention, constant, but hey, she plays the best d*mn pranks in this school, okay, maybe third bestest.

I still played the “Place-posters-with-Pete’s-phone-number-with-the-tag-’call single males now!’” Prank

Walking around Spencer… Taking a glanc- two.

Oh, I forgot…. Whatever, Spencer looks like a kindergarten anyways so either way no points for me.

Spencer waltzed back to 9AM1 aww.

With how much students doesn’t rush to class after the bell rings, it wouldn’t let me reach that sweet sweet bar of full-on-smiles. Fine, future students, I owe you all ten bucks… only if you’re admit to our holy sacred school though.

Ha! I sound like Principal Wentz.

Profit-oriented mindset over one hundred babe.

I just entered the horrifying classroom of 8AM3. Welcome back to the real world my friends. As soon as I pretty much had my presence in the room students came to class. I heard a lot of talk ‘bout me being the coolest, chillest, most laid-back teacher here in the Junior buildings so I guess I have no competition or complaints.

I can already see the small group of students which I have known to be quite shy. They have my music class after Patrick’s theory crap that I don’t really pay that much attention to.

Mr Flowers just nodded along the conversation he’s having while Mr Bowie kept talking about this junior that idolizes him despite walking down outside the halls of my class. They sure have forgotten that I’m not closing the Godd*mn door before the class have their attendance.

My habitual scoff just came by so casually that students think of it as some form of comic relief. I don’t really know how to explain to these lil demons that it’s an attitude problem.

To think that Patrick’s just on my class, 8AM3, right now, teaching them how Do and Re sounds good together makes me feel better on how I’m actually giving the world- 9AM1 rather, a favor for consuming their time studying with my existence. That’s a joke, Patrick’s probably having fun right now.

Well, it looks like it’s about time.

I looked out the window in the similar fashion the students did as well.

Tick tock tick tock.

“What time is it?” Oh god, that voice crack though. I can hear the punks in this class snickering at it.

“Just struck nine” There goes my sunshine haired buddy cham pal.

“Is the cat at home?”

“He’s about to dine”

It’s Josh, this happened yesterday as well, and the day before. He’s teaching that “cat and mouse” game with the students; this time it’s 8AM2, not 8AM1.

Did I already explained to you why I call classes by numbers?

Well, because the real names sucks. No kidding, it’s so overused.

Who would name their classroom “Grade Eight Morning Glory?”, seriously? I want my class to be “Grade Eight Mary Jane”

Has that kind of ring to it, amiright?

Up until now I wonder why on earth Patrick and Frank likes their class names. I mean- those names are decades old. “Grade Ten Patience” seems plain, don’t tell Frank that.

“Sir do we have an assessment today?” Molly asked from the back with her hand stretched higher than Tyler’s current mood. I nodded as they all groaned. Laughing out of- well, sadism I guess? I had the projector connected to the PC and had it on freeze.

There the students saw my desktop wallpaper of a class picture me and the 8AM3 informally had, plus Patrick, Dallon and Spencer. Spencer truthfully looked out of place in this picture, it looks like he had a date with Aubrey Hepburn. Meanwhile Dallon stood there like he’s telling everyone his birthday is today- but he doesn’t have to lie that it’s on May 4th and that he just turned seven. Patrick’s just there, signature fedora on and a small peace sign.

Let’s not forget my entire class though. We have Frank Gioia and Eva in the front with Frank’s hands on her waist as her eyeliner-ed eyes shone against the color black. The Fro power and his friend glasses just stood there with awkward check poses that seems to go back somewhere deep and hidden in the past. Melanie and Ashley just stood there with no expression, except for the other student beside them, which is Jon, who’s doing the same peace sign Patrick’s been keeping up. The rest is can be explained stereotypical-ly; the emo, the shy artist, the jock, it’s just a fun variety to look at.

“Is that cous’?” I saw him pointing at the one with a black hoodie from the corner of my eye.

“Yep, that’s definitely your cousin Adam”

“They all look happy as heck”

“Sir can we take this sort of picture later?”

Another batch of noise.

Anyways, before my brain shuts down to “teaching mode” looks like I have to get back to this thinking normally crap later. Honestly the author just got no idea how American schools work so let her skip this part dotdootdoot. (let’s just say rep-emo isn’t an American Author (badum tsk))

●———————–●

Finally; the end of the day. Organizing my stuff after drinking my cold caffeine that was left in the canteen at break, I finally had my temporary freedom I shall redeem before my world domination.

Speaking about possible world domination if either me or Patrick does it we’ll both have things planned out but procrastinate later on.

Blowing my students a playful kiss when the bell rang I waltz to the exit first, even so I can still hear their laughs and joyful cheers.

Then I saw something- rather, someone I wish I could just avoid for the week.

Christian Tyler Joseph

My feet practically swooshed and I’m pretty sure my sole—and also my soul—said “nope, not today”. I swear, I’m an atheist but I prayed at that very moment. You know that tense feeling those cliché video game main character does when he or she feels the villain’s presence or just something freaky in the ceiling happens? If you’re thinking you are imaging those overused gulp noises that’s actually real, very real.

Yeah, feeling it.

“Oy! Brendo-”

“I’ll pay my debt later Troye!” Thank God I cut him off before he diss me in front of the students.

“For the last time Fivehead it’s Tyler!”

I know. Dude, we’ve been working together for years now and yet you seem dense about it, maybe that’s just because I always act stupid, don’t let that fool you, I am stupid.

Honestly, that poor guy is so easy to tease. If it wasn’t for my distracting use of ’T’-names I would have had a small—small as Tyler could get—fight. I heard a huff from behind my back that obviously came from Tyler himself, yes, I’m stubborn.

●———————–●

A sigh sadly escaped my lips as I flipped to peak into my students’ Assessment grades.

From Ashbridge to Zoroa; all were sorts of disappointment. Even those who got perfect seems fake to me. If Ryan didn’t left me to go somewhere with Spencer he would have said the grades are as fake as diamonds that looks like broken glass.

I’m so unhappy right now. Never thought I’d use that word.

That all changed when I heard the door slid and also a student did the same but in a more humane manner.

          Enter Ashley the student.

She’s that special student who’s quite popular, inside and outside school grounds. She’s literally a celebrity. She seems to get away each time she dyes her hair unlike another student of mine that goes by the name “crybaby”.

Guess who’s her advisor?

Yeah, that’s obviously me, anyone who said “Dallon” deserves a spank… or a slap, that’s just kinky.

“Hey there Mister Urie”

“Hello to you too Ashley, what’s up?”

Unlike other schools, we’re all practically informal here; teachers and students are pretty much close buds that we don’t even have some guidance counselor, I don’t know if that is a flaw or not… I guess Meagan is a counselor, but that’s just Pete’s wife. Going back to Ashley she’s the only girl in my class—well aside from Melanie—that calls me Mister Urie all the time, but that’s probably due to respect, which is quite neat unlike some students.

“I have milk and cookies here, Melanie wanted to give this out and um… She also asked me to give you this note…”

Yeah, that’s Melanie, no one exactly trusts her, except for Tyler and Hal- I mean Ashley I guess.

“Cool, just place it one of the chairs thanks”

She nodded- before I rudely interrupted when the thought rushed back deep inside my skull.

“Wait, what’s written?”

“Umm… It says; Do you like my cookies? They’re made just for you, a little bit of sugar and… lots of poison too” She seems to hesitate on reading it and I have no doubts on why she is.

Honestly, this is one of those times I wish I could pacify her.

I couldn’t blame her actions, she’s been through a lot- like, a whole looot, as edgy as the book written by Pete when he was young (we fortunately got to read it in his office, don’t tell anyone) she has been kidnapped, rough family, drugged and other things I wouldn’t go deeper.

She’s pretty odd, but really a pretty nice person at the same time. It’s like the half dyes of her hair. She, Frank, Eva, Jon, Mikey, Ray and Richie would talk to me all day and I feel comfortable with them.

I honestly like crazy people like her. She doesn’t mind me doing crappy things and she empathize with me, it’s nice to have someone like that ya know?

Hallelujah, I have such great students and yet I’m a sh*tty teacher. I wonder what type of cookies are in there-

F*ck, that pink pastel box looks creepy as Teletub-

I need some breather.

“Hey Ashley can you pass me the coc-”

Oh wait f*ck

She doesn’t know that yet

Oh god that sounds wrong. No I’m not gay shut up… What are you talking about me and Ryan are just friends. No, not even Dallon, shut up. Denial what the- okay I’m done talking to y'all, I’ll tell you about my past with Ryan later, m'kay? Yes I’ll talk about Dallon later too but now you f*cks are just distracting me.

Anyways, she doesn’t know I do cocaine.

“Uhh… what?”

Sh*t, you guys make me sound so bad. Thinking about it, I am the only one to blame if she did knew.

Think Brendon! Think!

WHY AM I IMAGINING SCENES FROM HANGOVER RIGHT NOW?! IT’S STILL 2001.

“Pass me the…. baby powder from the back of the second row shelf thanks”

“Okay… what does it look like there’s a bunch of jars here Mister Urie!” Yelling a bit for me to hear, I felt a drop of sweat coming from my distracting forehead.

“Uhh…. It’s in one of those straight shoote- I mean flower designs in it”

She raised a small glass tube with some flower designs in it. She raised her eyebrow a bit like it’s already questioning me.

I mean, why would someone smoldering with appeal like me would buy flowers? I had enough with people questioning my sexuality so I’m not having that again.

“This one?” She held the love roses tube and shook it. I hope she didn’t suspect me for anything if so then I hope that I ain’t kissing Pete’s *ss for this. Thank past me for buying filtered one and not the transparent, but that’s too early for me to say so.

“Yeah, bring it here. Thanks” She threw it to me and I caught it, fortunately.

“Why would you have it in a flower case?”

Haha…

“I have no containers left, is all”

She nodded once more “I’m pretty sure Principal Wentz would allow ya to use one of the containers in the science room, I mean you’re close to Mister Iero as well right?”

Haha… riiight. I’m pretty sure Mister Wentz or Iero wouldn’t

“Yeah, thanks for the idea and the cookies, tell Melanie the same”

“Yeah, you’re welcome Mister Urie”

●———————–●

“BRENDON!”

That’s Dallon, once more in all his glory. He never seems to stay calm after his week of teaching in this school. His hair looks like his wife quiffed it- whatever people call that hairstyle, maybe I should say hair mess.

“What?” As you can tell, I’m tired as well so long and goodnight Dal, I need some shut eye. This is the same man who almost fell asleep while teaching the opium war, quite surprising that he can be this tense.

“YOU CAN’T DO DRUGS IF THEY CAUGHT YOU YOU’RE IN BIG TROUBLE-”

“SHH!”

Yeah! I would be if you continued yelling.

“Shut up Dallon” I closed the door behind me only to here Dallon handling the doorknob back open.

“Brendon, it’s not healthy”

What is he gonna say? Cardiac arrest? Lung problems? Yeah, I know the side effect don’t worry about it, stimulation has always been a part of me even though I try so hard to deny it. I try to stop each time though so I don’t have to hear this right now.

(Author just searched the side effects of cocaine so this may not be exact, author is not a doctor, author’s life sucks)

“Uhuh”

“No I’m serious! My friend used to do drugs as well and he-”

Oh no. I’m having this talk again am I?

Rolling my eyes back to a distant land called “Nopeland”. I could only hear incoherent sounds of a failed attempt to get me to change my decisions in life. I only found the polychromatic color that matches the walls once more when my eyes landed back to my table.

Smirk.

Grab.

Flick.

“W-cou-hat the h-heck Brendon that’s childish eew is that baby powder or powdered milk? Disgusting”

Nah, that’s coke, have fun cleaning your uniform for tomorrow morning kiddo.

And then- with just one swish and flick- I magically landed back to happy land. Maybe it’s the side effect of cocaine, may or may not be but whatever, I’d like to think that it is for the moment. It’s nice to see someone’s first encounter with coke, if I were to be Van Gogh I’d be painting this view of Dadlon trying to remove the white stains from his crotch right now.

Looks like I have something to write on my Journal huh?

Let’s be real though dear hopefully-future-students; my dairy is a lot more cooler than the Diary Of A Wimpy kid? No? Yeah you’re right, my life sucks. If this were a subject you all would have had all my assessments perfect even on your first day.

I don’t know whether you should take that as a compliment or that states you’re slowly becoming trash- well no, technically all you little eyes are my treasure so don’t go living in the dumps.

“Brendon please help me remove this stuff”

“No thanks”

“Beeeebooo”

“Not this again Dallon”

This is some sick technique in which Dallon uses the nickname “Beebo” to get me to do something. No, I’m not telling you “why Beebo?”.

Fine.

It all started when me and Patrick were teaching the seniors for a bit since Andy couldn’t come due to a winter storm at his place. We were at Patrick’s small enthusiastic explanation about a simple concept when someone boldly called me “Beebo” and it just stucked.

Groaning in the same manner the students of 9AM1 from earlier, I grabbed my handerchief and started rubbing the surface of his sweater that he probably bought last week.

“I hate you”

“Love you too Beebs, now continue helping me will you?”

Geez, I do have a lot to write down today.

Oh crap, he didn’t bought this last week; it says “Grade 10 Hibiscus” so it’s most probably hand made for him from his last advisory class. He got this last Christmas. Crap, I ruined his greatest gift. I am so sorry Dallon. Best not to tell this and the Ashley incident to anyone.

●———————–●

My eyes wondered about when I saw the box Ashley left in the corner.

That pink box…

I swear, I don’t have any idea on what to do with these cookies, they actually smell and look delicious. I guess I’ll never know huh?

“Hey Mister Urie is Richie’s detention over? He asked me to go shopping in Hot Topic today that’s why I’m asking” The next person to ever slide in after class today is Frank Gioia. The emotional kid who doesn’t seem to mind what everyone thinks, he’s a cool dude I swear.

“Oh, he’d be up by no-”

About the box….

As bright as the ideas Gerard drew in his sketchpad (which is full of strange looking people by the way, especially that all white violin girl), my eyes fluttered at the sudden thought that occured.

“Hey Frank?”

“Yeah?” He tilted his head to peak in a bit more. He doesn’t seem to be fazed at the fact I avoided answering his question.

“Want some cookies?”

Silence.

He stared at me for a bit, then back to the box I was supposedly reaching out for him to taste. His eyebrow raised at the sight of it.

“Isn’t that Melanie’s?”

Oh, he knew, that was some fail.

Lie or not to lie?

Nah, lying is pretty much fun if you’re a girl.

“Yeah, Melanie gave it to me earlier”

“Yeah saw it too”

Then another batch of awkward silence followed as we stared at each other, eyes locked with such confusion present on both sides.

“Sure… I’ll take one”

He came closer and took a bite of the chocolate chipped cookies from the forsaken box. He seems delighted somehow.

Well.

Looks like I have a new box to place my ecstasy.

●———————–●

I bumped into Ryan earlier.

He gave me this blank look before leaving me in the halls. He seemed to be carrying another paper bag; two packs of cheese whiz I presume. He didn’t seem to mind me whenever I snoop into his bags, although this time was an exception.

       ⏭️The theater in Brendon’s mind⏮️

Ryan: *looking at his paper bag*

Fab Brendon: What’s that *about to reach into the bag*

Ryan: *Slaps hand*

Ryan: Y o u  a r e  n o t  m y  f r i e n d

Exit Ryan.

⏯️

Trust me, give him a few more days and the two of us we’ll be okay, he wouldn’t exchange our friendship over cheese whiz….

I wonder if he thinks the same about me and Frank Sinatra, if so tell him I’d choose the latter.

●———————–●

On my way home I saw Ray and Mikey talking about Gerard and his small sketchpad they saw behind the bush in which he probably left it.

“How did it end up there in the first place?” They looked as confused as I am, Ray just raised his lips a bit higher to look like he’s pensive for an answer.

“He’s Mister Way after all, he can get like this, right Moikey?”

“Mikey Ray, It’s Mikey. Yes, he does act as irresponsible at times”

Sometimes I wonder if that face shows sadness, disappointment, anger or just plain nothing. It’s a pokerface no one could ever break, not even that time Joe played around with Frank’s chemistry set, I mean, mixing Mountain Dew and chunks of Doritos was funny and all, and Gerard’s reporting skills on that scene made the class laugh even more.

I sure do love this school’s innocent scenes.

Wait I’m going too far, back to Mikey.

“Anyways, do you know where your brother is at the moment?”

He shook his head in reply but Ray nodded it with excitement.

“Yeah he said he’s going to binge watch Star Wars in the cinema”

Mikey’s face dropped a bit before going back to normal. That action probably meant sadness… right?

“He forgot to drive me back home, whatever I’ll just walk”

“I’ll come with you don’t worry, we’re practically neighbors”

“no we’re not”

“shush”

I know that I laughed at that small conversation but I still feel the small strange vibe Mikey’s been radiating, unlike Gerard he would have punched me in the face if he was at the scene and tell me to “stay the *beep* away from my sketchpad!”

Was that beep necessary?

“Do you want me to call Gerard?”

“No, it’s okay Mister Urie”

I shrugged as he denied my random act of kindness, ouch.

“Whatever kiddos, get home safely okay?” “Yes Mister Urie” “Oh, and bring your brother’s sketchpad, he doesn’t want it in my hands”

Mikey raised an eyebrow “Don’t you wanna see what’s inside?”

I mean, it could be anything edge-shock-y so I wouldn’t dare open it.

“N-nah, rather not”

Mikey just nodded and fetched for the sketchpad in my hands.

Then I walked back home, just like they did.

God, I’m stopping drugs. Things like this are more stimulating…. and stressful

[movienotesbyzawmer]

Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones

December 9: Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones

(previous notes: Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace)

Source: Blu-ray release, the box set with all six Lucas-era movies (2D)

I feel like in recent years I've seen a lot of rhetoric claiming that this is the worst of all the Star Wars movies. But I've always felt like the prequels improve as they go, at least a little. Like, Hayden Christiensen might not be especially good, but he's an improvement on Jake Lloyd. Is there less of the childish stuff in this movie? Let's press play and find out.

Opening crawl is first mention of Count Dooku; seems like the previous stuff was resolved and a new story is beginning. Maybe that's why it's common for people to recommend skipping Episode I, like it's not actually necessary.

We also at this point in the natural chronology don't know anything about clones. Just the title here.

Another decoy-Amidala, but this one gets blowed up right away. And that's Rose Byrne, right?

0:07:30 - Obi-wan does a "oh… oh yes…. Mm mm mm mm mm mm" thing which is stupid and I don't like it.

Wait, no Rose Byrne is a silent handmaiden lady I guess. Unless they're clonesies. Are they clonesies?

Hey, a glimpse of Coruscant's colorful nightlife scene! Or at least some commercial advertisements. Feels like we don't see much of the lives of regular folk of Coruscant much.

Super pretty imagery of this city at night with its traffic and lights and I know I say that every time but it's great.

0:14:30 - Obi-wan shooting himself through a hole in the window in pursuit of that flying robot villain is exciting! And then he just hangs onto it, and then the sniper snipes him off it and he just falls and falls! This is a good action scene.

Then later, Anakin just jumps and falls and falls on purpose like and it's fun to watch.

0:20:00 - Does the sniper have a weird disguise that goes away when she turns her head? Is that what I saw?

"This weapon is your life" says Ewan McGregor doing his best impression of Alec Guinness. I think it was supposed to be funny. And I think it succeeds. Helps to remember that EG's natural accent is Scottish. And you know what? Maybe a little bit ago when I didn't like EG's hammy delivery, I should respect that he's embracing the need for him to embody a young version of Alec Guiness's character, figuring out what that would look like while honoring the director's vision.

They're in a nightclub, and I think there's some genuinely imaginative vision around what people are doing in there.

Ooh! The sniper got sniped by someone else, and the shot of that second sniper zipping away on a jetpack is I like it.

Senator Amidala gives Jar Jar the important job of substitute senator while she goes and hides. Yeah right. Not very credible.

Now Anakin is venting to Amidala in a way that shows how cocky he is. He does the flirtation stuff so that we'll think he's sexy like Han Solo, but also visibly flawed with impatience. Meh. Okay.

Whoa, Rose Byrne just did some acting! She spontaneously shed a tear in a way that looked authentic! Acting… in a Star Wars prequel!

0:31:50 - A greasy spoon diner! I don't remember this. Obi Wan is doing some intel gathering and George Lucas decided to go all in on having this be a 50's-style neon urban railcar slop counter!

The romance. Anakin and Amidala. GL is also going all in on the overtness of that plot. Maybe it's fine? Anakin seems like a horny and awkward teen with a huge crush on someone out of his league but he's going for it anyway. Maybe we'll be convinced that she'd succumb to his charms?

0:39:00 - We're back on Naboo… this scene is oddly non-CGI-looking. Did they film this in a real place with that actual architecture?

The tension they're setting up between Anakin and Amidala is moving in a direction of NOT growing fonder of each other. She looks irritated, and rightly so. This is a move that experienced romance plot makers make, but will GL pull it off?

Meanwhile Obi-Wan is doing spycraft, going to the clone planet place and pretending he's the one who ordered the whatever. "That's why I'm here!" Kinda funny.

0:44:45 - Okay, another A&A scene. He has that line about sand getting everywhere. She looks really damn fly. They kiss a bit and then she changes her mind. See, this is a weak link in the romance plot. We don't buy it. She's not such a sucker that she'd want to kiss him now. She didn't go, "oh he was so charming when he talked about where sand goes that now I'm not only less annoyed by his churlishness but I'm actually turned on". Or did she.

There's something about Obi-Wan's intel gathering, realizing that this huge army of clones is being put together, that's very James Bond-y. I mean that in a good way.

Naboo countryside is hella pretty.

Oh ick. A very very stupid romance scene just happened. See, Anakin fell off a blob creature and it looked like he was hurt! This worried Amidala! She ran to him but it turned out he was okay! They laughed and laughed at this merry misunderstanding and rolled around together! Oh merry! And…. SCENE.

Now Obi-Wan and Jango Fett are having a fight on a platform place and it's pretty exciting and still kind of like a Bond movie. Even more so because of "gadgets" like the devices on JF's outfit. And a dippy little "this is not good" comment from Obi-Wan that would fit in okay coming out of 007.

A&A go to Tatooine and talk to the salvage dealer who used to own Anakin. I like where that CGI character visibly starts to recognize the grown-up Anakin.

Obi-Wan followed JF & Son to a pretty red planet with an asteroid field and it's fucking beautiful and they do this wicked sound effect with bombs and it looks and sounds mother fucking amazing. Seriously god damn. The SOUND.

1:11:40 - They're at what will be the moisture farm of Luke, et al. "I'm Owen Lars and this is my GIRLFRIEND Beru." See, because this is BEFORE they're married. She's JUST his GIRLFRIEND.

1:14:20 - Okay, they just did a weird thing where A&A have an exchange, then hug. But the camera just shows their SHADOWS. And Anakin's shadow looks like he maybe kind of has some semblance of a VADER HELMET. I'm not even that convinced that that's what they were going for. If it actually conveyed that, it'd be cooler. As is, it's a little awkward. But I wouldn't discourage a director from going for this kind of thing.

Anakin found the Tusken Raider camp where they'd brought his mom and he found her just in time for her to die. Like she was just hanging on long enough for him to witness her death. Melodramatic. Then he goes and slaughters everyone… this turns out to be important because it's the catalyst for him turning dark, but it's sort of a weak explanation for something so important.

So HC just did a rage monologue about how he killed everyone, and okay it's not good, but I really don't think it's HC that isn't good. I think he did his very best with really dumb writing.

1:34:30 - Ooh, we're back in that neat senate hall. Jar Jar was suckered into proposing that Palpatine be given special powers, and it's super easy and it just works, and the Jedi are like "oh, hm, bummer". I'm just not impressed with the story.

A&A have arrived on Geonosis and it's quickly quite actiony and rather like a video game where they have to fight robots and hop on platforms at just the right time. I dig it.

It's a little odd now… so I already forgot how A&A got captured in the video game factory place, but they're quickly hustled to an execution arena to be munched to death by monsters before a delighted audience. With Obi-Wan. Just a little odd, but now it's pretty fun action.

Oh yeah, Mace Windu cut Jango Fett's right head off! Forgot that. Another case of an interesting villain ending disappointingly. Except that it's important because his "son" witnesses it and looks vengeance-y.

1:56:40 - Yoda heroically shows up to save the good guys with a force of soldiers that look kind of like Stormtroopers. Those are clones, right? I guess so, but the movie didn't quite ensure we know that. I mean, if they're going to treat the audience like children with their jokes, maybe they could extend that same expectation to plot explanations.

Okay, so now they're in a much bigger battle. I like the flying thing that delivers a walking tank thing! Lots of exciting things to look at. It's not that clear which side is which, not by looking at the battle, but maybe that doesn’t matter too much.

They shoot down a globe-shaped ship as it's taking off and it's pretty. So is lots of this battle stuff.

How does Anakin have a lightsaber now? His was broken earlier. I'm probably not the first to ask that. I probably overlooked the explanation. Seems like they trimmed stuff out of this part of the movie to improve the pacing.

2:07:50 - This is the part that worked well enough that it's probably the main factor in holding this movie's reputation above that of Episode I: the light saber duel with Yoda! Those of us who had played the Dark Forces PC games were already familiar with how it would look to see a Yoda-type wailing on someone with a light saber, but it was a pleasant surprise for many, and it definitely worked.

Then Dooku escapes on a ship that does a really sweet-looking panel-unfurling thing. Love it. And then he goes to Coruscant. Very visibly. Which is for me to love some more.

The movie ends right after that, with Yoda observing that it's dumb to think of this as a victory because now the Clone War has started. Then we get suitably disturbing imagery of the Clone Army being imposing with, significantly, the Imperial March in the background. It's okay. Then a shot of A&A getting hitched. With, a little less significantly, the new tragic-love theme in the background which John Williams was probably pretty pleased with. And over. Okay.

Yeah, better than Episode I. Less childish. Although it's harder to point to a climax, it somehow seems less anti-climactic than Ep1. No less impressive visually, but with new locales compared with the first one. And it's true that you can get all the information you need by starting here instead of with the first one.

(next: Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith)

[lunarymagic]

11 Questions Meme

Tagged by @edgeoflight! <3  :)

Answer 11 questions and then come up with 11 of your own and tag followers.

1. What place would you visit if money and time were no object?

Japan and New Zealand seem to be a tie for me!

2. What book have you read that influenced you the most?

It’s an obvious one but: Tolkien’s books. He saved me in so many ways (and in fact, some of the things he has said about himself makes me think he too suffered from bouts of depression.) His writing never ceases to give me hope. I watched the films when they first came out before reading Lord of the Rings but I was still heavily impacted, and when I got to The Silmarillion: damn. <3

3. Tell me about a time when deciding something differently would’ve changed your whole life.

I was an Art and English double major for a year before deciding I wanted to become a pharmacist. I always wonder what would have happened if I decided to just stick with that plan (FWIW, the first semester after my change in studies was one of the biggest highlights of my life both personally and creatively. So! :D *shrugs* )

(and putting the rest behind a cut because this got so long!) 

4. What do you see as being the next big revolutionary technological innovation?

I want to see A.I. become a thing, and they are on their way. Unfortunately, governments are apparently already requesting for war machines because of fucking course. Meanwhile I’m thinking how wonderful it would be to marry a robot. Because I always was fascinated by them. I’d love to hold a philosophical conversation with a robot, at least. Why should everything be about war? That’s so primitive! Let’s have intelligent robots who can help carry humans from one room to another in hospitals while also holding friendly conversations with them! Or just keeping the sick company? Keeping elderly in nursing homes company? Keeping anyone who is lonely and doesn’t have family company?! Or nanny/babysister robots you can trust! Or even friendly robots you can just...feel safe around! Seriously, people stop being so fucking primitive we’ve had over hundreds of thousands of years of evolution just to make a fucking war machine WTF NO WONDER GOD HAS ABANDONED OUR ASSES!

*takes a deep, calming breath* I hate war. Anyhow:

5. If you reached out with your left hand, what would you touch?

A bunch of books, sketchbook, loose papers, tons of sketches, hand-drawn maps of the Ironverse, some open mail for some reason, an old tablet for some reason. Nail clipper. Is useful. Some cheap color pencils for idea sketching. And for some reason a box of unplayed-with puzzles. All stacked in a neat matter on a small table, too.

6. Which is the most important: truth, beauty, freedom, or love?

Truth is beauty, truth sets you free, and being true is to be love. So, truth! :D 

7. What’s your relationship with your parents like?

...Complicated. Well, with one of them at least. With Dad it’s pretty much good and stable and normal. With Mom it’s...it’s a roller coaster ride. Things have gotten very ugly several times before (don’t even ask about the past) but also? She has supported me in ways so-called “friends” never did and we would literally kill someone if they hurt the other even if we’re ready to mutually kill each other so...yeah, complicated! :D 

8. If I gave you a million in your own currency but told you that you couldn’t spend it on yourself – you had to give it away – what would you do with it? You can divide it up as much as you like, but you can’t keep any of it.

There are so many charities I would give to. And research funds, holy crap. If there’s anything that can help pancreatic cancer patients I would do that in particular because even with advancements in treating cancers, with there being more and more survivors now than ten, twenty years ago, PC continues to be a fast killer and I’d want for the next research focus to go on early detection and treatment.

9. Do you believe that patriotism is a good thing or a bad thing?

It depends on what we’re talking about. In the country I was born in, there are people trying to erase my entire heritage and culture and history. I’m patriotic in the sense that I will not back down, will refuse to be erased or written out of history. 

At the same time, I do live in America, am an American, and have seen the more toxic form of patriotism. There’s a balance to be reached. Patriotism when it is not about only you. When it’s love for your land but not at the expense of others or snubbing others. 

10. How would you define romance?

Ew. XD Well, that was my first thought when I saw the question! Which is weird because I’m considered shipper trash? I honestly don’t know how I would define it. I don’t care much for it in RL? And in fiction my ships come in a wide spectrum from the fluffiest shit to...the most violently abusive shit ever that I don’t even post on AO3 (yes I’m talking about the Valttu/Lalli stuff.) I just like the dynamics and that’s it I guess? I dunno! And in RL I literally do not even care or pay attention to it. Too busy making love to the Ironverse. XD

11. Imagine you are very old and dying. What do you think you will regret, if anything?

Nothing, maybe. Not because my life is perfect -- it is far from that -- but because I have learned to not ever live with regrets. Everything happens for a reason, even if it’s damn painful, and I learn something from them. That’s how I’ve lived all this time. 

And my questions:

1. Autumn or Spring?

2. What sort of dreams do you typically have?

3. Thirteen hungry dwarves have come uninvited to your house! Quick, what do you prepare for them?

4. Five songs or groups you've been into lately?

5. Would you rather be saved by an Elven prince plagued by a terrible Oath or a Space Alien princess overcome by grief?

6. This world is falling apart but a portal has opened up. Which fictional world would you like to live in for the rest of your life?

7. The most hilarious mishap you've had or had witnessed?

8. If you’re a fanfic writer: do you remember the first ever fic you ever wrote? Or if you write mainly original fic: first story? Artists: first art piece? 

9. What book or show or movie or game was dearest to your heart as a child?

10. Any book/movie/show/game rec for your followers?

11. Is the absence of evidence an evidence of absence?

And I tag: @inside-the-mountain, @pyropelove413, @superheroladies, @eatyourgrapes, @naryrising, @the-wavesinger, @squirrelwrangler, @sathinfection, @kainoliero, @independence1776, @yuuago

And, of course, anyone else who wishes to do this! :)

[eremika0000]

Hey guys, I'm back with another chapter! Thanks for the feedback so far, it means a lot! I hope you enjoy! Sorry for the little delay.

N soars through the skies on his Reshiram, the harsh winds whipping against his face and hair. His eyes were narrowed in concentration. I need to get to White as soon as possible and make sure she is okay… I have no idea how much Team Plasma could have in this short amount of time.

Reshiram seems to sense its master's urgency and flies as fast as it can.  As Reshiram and N fly, he doesn't have much to do while waiting to get to Sinnoh.

Vacation… Hm? I really want to see White again… I want to talk to her… But I would hate to ruin White's vacation with news of Team Plasma… I am probably overreacting about Team Plasma anyways, they said they wouldn't be looking for her for a while, and I can protect her when she gets back from vacation. But I want to make sure she will be okay, just in case… Plus, White probably doesn't even want to see me, especially on her vacation. I don't deserve her friendship after everything I did, either. She was nice to me at the castle, but she was most likely only being kind because that is her nature to do so… She really is a kind person in and out...What do I do?

N strokes his Reshiram's head, soothing the dragon. “Friend, can I ask your advice?” N asks Reshiram. The dragon cooed in response. Ask me anything, master. I'll do my best to provide advice.

“Someone important to me, White, could possibly be in danger from Team Plasma… I left the organization after I realized their true intentions, but I heard them say they want revenge on White. There is a low probability that they could reach her on her vacation in Sinnoh, but...” N's thoughts clashed back and forth as he continued to think about what he should do. He really wanted to keep White happy and he didn't want to ruin her vacation with his presence and with low chances of Team Plasma bothering her.

But, what? Reshiram wanted to help their master. They didn't like seeing him so conflicted.

“But… I don't want to ruin White's vacation. There is a very low probability of Team Plasma's interference with her, but I don't want to leave her unsafe… But I also don't want to mess up her vacation… She always looked so exhausted when I saw her on her travels.” Guilt begins to consume N. “I think she was always so tired because of when I told her I wanted to free Pokemon in Nimbasa city. Before I told her, she always seemed energetic. When I challenged her at Nimbasa, I think she rushed herself too much…”

If you don't want to ruin your friend's vacation, perhaps you could keep watch over her instead from afar? This way she can enjoy her vacation and she won't have to worry, and you can assure her safety. You can inform her of the possible threat once she returns. If something happens, you will be there to protect her.

N nods to himself, liking this plan. But his mind strayed to that time when he had talked to White in Chargestone cave. He had told her that after mentioning White and her friends once to Ghetsis, he had apparently sent the shadow triad after them for a little while to find out about them. He remembered White had seemed unhappy with this. It was clear she didn't like this development, and N felt distressed by this, for some reason worrying that she was unhappy with him as well.

“I don't think White would like being followed… I don't want to make her uncomfortable...”

No worries, master. You can keep your distance and this is for her safety and happiness. You said you wanted her happiness to be the top priority, so this will make her the happiest. She doesn't have to be aware that you are looking out for her.

It's for her happiness. N thinks to himself. I will look out for her so she doesn't have to worry. It is my responsibility to keep Team Plasma at bay.

“Thank you, friend.” N scratches his Reshiram between the ears, knowing that was where it liked to be petted. It cooed again, liking the affection. N smiles brightly to himself, joyful that he had a way to keep White safe as well as happy. She could get the rest N thought she rightfully deserved, without all the stress.

The pair soared through the skies for a while longer, and the recognizable mass of the Sinnoh region grew closer and closer overtime. “Reshiram, I want you to land at that area next to the lake. Since we are significantly farther away from Sandgem town, White shouldn't be able to see our approach if she is already there.”

Reshiram growls lightly in acknowledgment as is descends onto the land next to the lake.

Meanwhile…

White had just put her Pokemon in the PC box after their dismay. They wanted to battle the trainers of the Sinnoh region, but White was exhausted from Pokemon battling for a while. She wanted to take this week to relax rather than being constantly badgered by all the Sinnoh trainers. She had told them this was their time to relax and promised them many battles once they returned to Unova.

White was pleased to find that the little town had opened up a small market where they sold a few basic items like clothes, food, and supplies. She remembered with an annoyed groan that she had forgotten her swimsuit in her rush, and Sandgem town was known for it's beautiful little beach. She ended up buying a swimsuit at the little market that was too skimpy and revealing for her taste, but it was the only one in her size. The swimsuit was a bikini black with white stripes. Not only was the bottom part of the swimsuit a bit cheeky that showed too much butt cheek for her liking, it also seemed to be a push up swimsuit top which was uncomfortable and revealing and she felt like people would stare at her chest. But White was pleased to find that upon reaching the beach, it was deserted except for her.

Once she had reached the beach, she unwrapped the towel from herself and let herself free, running into the ocean in all her bikini glory. No one was around to watch her, and she could do whatever she wanted. She splashed about, loving how refreshing the water felt on her skin. She looked up, and noticed how blaring and bright the sun was overhead.

Crap, I'm still a little burnt from the flying yesterday. I should apply sunblock this time… Luckily I always keep a bottle in my bag.

White trudges out of the water and lays her beach towel out on the sand and lays upon it. She takes out her sunblock and begins to lather it across herself.

Meanwhile…

N hides in the thick forest next to Sandgem town, glad that these trees were so close together and would easily disguise him. He kept his eyes peeled for White. Currently he was frantically pacing around, stressed and worried that he had not laid eyes upon her yet. He remembered hearing somewhere that Sandgem town was known for its pretty beach, so he headed towards the sound of the ocean to see if she was perhaps sightseeing there.

However, N didn't expect to see a barely clothed White in a strange position on the beach. N gasps when he sees her, his cheeks quickly growing hot. She was currently bending over for some reason, appearing to be rubbing sunblock on her legs. Her cleavage was exposed to N as she was bent over, and his cheeks burn in embarrassment. He wasn't sure why watching her felt so wrong, he had learned recently that swimsuits were a normal attire at a beach. Perhaps it was because she was bent over and unknowingly exposing nearly all of herself to him, or because he feeling a strange rising in his pants. He had awkwardly been informed before that the stiffness between his legs was normal and usually meant sexual arousal, the desire to mate with someone. He didn't quite understand why he was feeling this way about her, or what he should even do about his arousal, but he couldn't keep his eyes off her.

Why am I feeling like this? This never happens… I know White doesn't like to be watched, I shouldn't watch. He tears his gaze away, looking down at his feet instead in shame, and the obvious bulge in his beige pants definitely wasn't making him feeling any better about the situation. N relaxed as she had finished applying sunblock and had decided to take a nap, mostly covering her body with a towel so she wouldn't sunburn. He allowed himself to watch her now, and occasionally scanned the surroundings to make sure nothing suspicious was happening.

A few hours after White had fallen asleep, N had started to relax when noticed that a pair of stocky and somewhat intimidating looking men had approached the beach, looking to be in their early 20s. One of the men pointed at the sleeping White, snickering. “Look at this babe? She's sleeping? I think I'm gonna help myself to a little touch. She's quite the looker, don't you think?”

The other man smirked. “Yea, she doesn't need to know. Just a little touch, since no ones around. Heh.”

N feels his entire body tense up. He wasn't sure what they were planning on dong to White, but they seemed like trouble. He walks out of the trees slightly and steps into the sand, his fists clenched.  He stares down the pair of men, his blue eyes menacing and staring daggers into them.

You won't harm White.

The men take a step back, a bit taken back by N's expression. One of them says quietly, “Fuck, I don't wanna make a scene. Whatever, let's get outta here.” The men scurry away, their tails between their legs. N smiles, happy that the threats to White had left. Just then, he hears White's little moan as she suddenly throws the towel off her body, stretching with her eyes still closed.

N's eyes widen as he quickly rushes back into the trees for cover. White had just opened up her eyes when he had gotten behind the big tree again. He breathes a little sigh of relief, grateful she hadn't caught him. He averts his eyes again when he notices her swimsuit, his face burning again. His stomach was doing somersaults as his hands shake in nervousness. For some reason, seeing her like that unnerves him, and he didn't know what to do about all these new reactions he was getting from his body. His knowledge in the intimacy category was very limited from all the years he spent locked away in his room.

“Crap!” White shouts, and N jumps up a little at her sudden exclamation. “It's already getting dark out…” White facepalms, shaking her head to herself. “I can't believe I slept for so many hours!”

N thinks to himself. It felt like time went by so fast…

White stands up, wrapping her towel around her body again. I'll head back to the Pokemon center and stay in my room for tonight. I'll head to Jublilife city tomorrow to do some real shopping. Maybe I'll even pick up some souvenirs! I hear they have a ton of stores.

White grabs her bag and begins heading for the Pokemon center. N watches from afar, angling himself so he could see her going into the Pokemon center.  She enters, and N wonders what she is doing. When she doesn't appear for a long time, he assumes she is sleeping in one of their little hotel rooms. He finally relaxes for the first time, knowing she will be safe at the Pokemon center. He walks a bit deeper into the forest and finds a tiny clearing between the trees and bushes where he can fit his sleeping bag. He sets up his little camp and lays inside the sleeping bag, waiting for sleep to come to him.

I am so relieved to see White is okay, but I need to make sure nothing happens to her during her stay. Team Plasma could appear at any moment, and I need to be alert for that. I also need to be awake early in case she wakes early as well. I need to see when she leaves so I can follow. I'll get up at sunrise. N allows his mind to rest for the first time in a while, and is sleeping within minutes of laying down, exhausted from the day.

The next day…

N awakes, his muscles feeling uncomfortable as soon as he was conscious. Sleeping on the sleeping bag outside for 2 days in a row had definitely left its toll on him. He looks up, and is alarmed to see that it was past sunrise, which was the time he planned getting up.

No! Did I oversleep? What if White left already? What if Team Plasma found her? No!

N quickly stuffs his sleeping bag into his bag and sprints for the Pokemon center, various branches cutting at his skin. People in the town stare at him wide eyed as he dashes into the Pokemon center. He quickly approaches the front desk, scaring the woman working at the counter. “Hello! Are all the hotel rooms taken here?” N tries to compose his voice, but the urgency was taking over, and the poor woman looked terrified at his frenzy. “Um… No sir… We have only one hotel room at this Pokemon center, but the last occupant left a little while ago. Would you like me to book you a-”

“No thank you, bye!” N abruptly cuts the woman off and dashes out of the Pokemon center, heading north towards the next city.

No, no, no! I'm such a fool. I overslept and White already left! She could be in danger because of me! This was supposed to be her vacation… I tried to think about how to make her happy, and I thought I could handle watching over her for a few days…

N dashes through the route to the next city, leaping over the high ledges to take a shortcut. The people on the route watch him with wide eyes and open mouths, wondering how he managed to leap over those big hills like for the shortcut. N is relieved to see White's familiar figure in the far distance, her big brown fluffy ponytail giving her away. He breathes a sigh of relief, his pace slowing as a big smile grows upon his face. But it is short lived, as a very young trainer in the distance who had probably spectated N's fantastic hill jumping was pointing in his direction with a look of awe. N's gasps, knowing this was bad. The trainer was in front of White, so she would probably notice the trainer's astonished expression and  pointing hand and would no doubt look behind to investigate. N had just begun to run behind a tree to hide when the trainer looks over to his friend who was standing nearby and shouts, “DUDE! Look at that green haired guy! He was like doing parkour stuff on the hills!”

Meanwhile, White hears this, and she gasps.

Green haired guy? N? Is he here? There can't be too many green haired guys…

Her heart flutters in excitement as she spins around to see what the trainer was looking at. She swears that she saw a flash of green hair, but it as gone in an instant as soon as she got to take in her surroundings behind her.

“Dang, that dude's fast! Where did he go?” The trainer's friend exclaims in wonder.

White is curious, and she can't help but to hope that it could be N, although she doubted it. She backtracks a little, scanning her surroundings for the so called green haired guy. She found nothing, and let out a big disappointed sigh.

Of course he wouldn't be here… Why am I getting so excited…

White sighs again before heading farther into town.

Meanwhile, N heaves out a big thankful sigh, glad she hadn't found him.  Although he wasn't quite sure why she had turned back and sighed so much.

He waits for her to travel a while up the road before slowly following, making sure to avoid that annoying pair of trainers that had nearly exposed him.

White enters Jubilife city, and N does so a few paces behind her. He hears her big surprised gasp as she takes in the city. It was incredibly crowded, and there were various shops lined with Pokemon goods that were visible even from the entrance of the city. She squeals in delight and sprints down the streets, going to check out the merchandise. A certain shop stand caught her eye, it was filled with Pokemon dolls. She runs straight towards it, her eyes lit up in excitement. She looks at all the dolls, and a certain doll catches her eye. It was an adorable Zorua doll, and it made her think of N, since he had a Zorua.

If I see N again, I want to give him this… I hope he will like it.

White quickly hands over some cash to buy it to the vendor, and N curiously peers out behind his tree he was hiding behind to see what she had bought. A little smile grows upon his face as he realizes she had bought a Zorua doll.

White walks away from the vendors after checking them all out, and squels again to herself as she hugs the new doll close. “Oh, N will love it!” She carefully tucks it away in her bag with a big smile on her face.

N's eyes widen.  She bought that doll just for me? A big smile forms on his face as a fuzzy feeling warms his heart, and he blushes to himself. She is so kind… No one has ever gotten me a gift before…

White skips around the city, clearly in an elated mood. She was currently imaging finally finding N and giving the Zorua doll. She wanted to see him truly smile in joy, she hardly ever saw him smile. She heads towards the west exit of the town, curious to see what was over there. It was clearly less crowded, and she was curious as to why. N follows closely behind, keeping himself hidden by buildings.

She wanders farther and farther into the western part of the city, curious as to what it held. Strangely, the very crowded city now was growing desolate of anyone, and by now she didn't see any people passing by anymore. This part of the city looked less friendly, the buildings were a bit shady with ivy growing everywhere and some windows of the glass on the buildings were cracked, signifying that it was probably abandoned.

Just then, she notices something wedged in between two buildings. It was a fallen potion, and it was at the end of an alleyway between two large buildings. She was lucky she had noticed it, it was quite far down the alley and it looked to be in perfect condition.

I can use this for my Pokemon! I'd better grab it…

White heads down the alley, a bit uncomfortable at how deserted this part of the city was. She wasn't sure why it was so devoid of people, but she found it creepy. As she headed farther down the alley to get the potion, she assumed that the buildings that were on either side of her were run down apartment buildings, since they had house numbers on them and a few had worn down welcome mats. She hoped that the people who lived here didn't mind her passing through quick to grab the potion.

I'm just gonna get this potion and then head back towards the center of the town, it's seriously creepy how it's so desolate on this side of town. It looks like a scene straight out of a gang movie.

A door which sounded like directly behind her suddenly opens, causing White to gasp and jump up in panic. N was currently watching from the front end of the alley where she entered, trying to keep hidden but having a hard time seeing her at the dark end of the alley. He gasps too, surprised at the door suddenly opening. It seemed like no one lived on this side of town.

“Hey there, little girl. I suppose it's my lucky day to have such a catch waltzing right past my apartment. I'm glad I noticed you outside my window or I would have missed out...” A man steps out of the apartment in the alley, cackling sadistically. He corners White against the narrow alley, smirking deviously. N has just begun to move towards her to rescue her when White shrieks as the man suddenly grabs hold of her by the waist and tosses her carelessly into his apartment. N screams, running towards the man as he hears a sickening crack which he assumes was the sound of the impact of White's back hitting the floor after the man had thrown her into his apartment.

N was too far away, and he only made it halfway down the alley when the man had shut the apartment door behind him, leaving N stuck in the alley by himself. The last thing N heard was the man's booming sadistic laughter and White's painful shriek muffled behind the closed door.

Thanks for reading, guys! I hope you guys review, it motivates me a lot and I love to know what you guys think! Whether it be criticism or compliments or just anything, I'm glad to hear it. Anyways hope you enjoyed and please stay tuned for next chapter! Have a nice day!

[mdhwrites]

Calmish Thoughts: Epic Games Store and Sale

So, I have to admit that I shouldn't do this. I have had multiple breakdowns over the past couple days trying to discuss this, but I am anyways because I think it's important. Now, to preface, I planned to be an accounting major when i went to college. I still went to a year and a half for that and took both micro and macro economics. I have talked to economic professors and gotten them to admit that economic principal has been abused too far for the current market. Let me know if you want that one because it's about supply, demand, and the minimum wage and is FASCINATING.

But that's not what I'm here to talk about. I am here to talk about Epic Games because they have done somethings laughably wrong, but unlike what a lot of people are claiming, they are currently the model to me of what good, flourishing, HEALTHY capitalism looks like and I would like to open up a discussion about that. I will try to cover as much as I can here, and in a few days will try to cover any mistakes and additional points I missed in a follow up blog.

1. Their Storepage

Let's start with the unforgivable and the thing that most of Epic's real problems stem from: The store page. It has no reviews, barely a search function, no categories, no shopping cart, and looks like the UI prioritized form over function. It looks half baked and like it should have had another half a year to a full year of work put into it before it was released.

...Probably because that is genuinely what happened. After all, Epic is working VERY quickly right now and I suspect someone in the marketing department said, "We either announce this at E3 this year with Supergiant's next game as an exclusive and FREE, or we have to wait a year for another major event to announce it at, at which time we will either have forced delays on games we want on the storefront, or straight up missed getting those games into timed exclusivity contracts."

With everything that is coming out that Epic has managed to get ahold of that it likely had some insight on at the time, delaying the store page probably looked like a non-option. Does that excuse them? FUUUUUUCK NO. People are getting banned from things like Paypal for suspicious activity, finding anything on the damned thing is a nightmare, and at least 50% of their sales catalogue is in preorder games, especially amongst their exclusives. HOWEVER, we also know that they are working on all of that and that many of these games are getting released later this year and with enough marketing behind them that if you care about them, you'll find them.

Again, not good, and it is the worst thing about the store but... Well, I'll wait to talk about Steam for later, because I have a lot to say on that matter, especially in their response to all of this.

2. Epic is Chinese Spyware

Now, I am putting this as how I always heard about it, which putting it that way is a complete lie. They are funded by Tencent, but Tencent is not the majority shareholder of the company, and not the only investor. Now, the claim of it being spyware... Again, the rush in making their store page kind of fucked them here. A: They had a program that appeared malicious and grabbed information about what you were buying and who you were buying through. That's kind of like saying DA owns your art though so they can modify and post it in order to make thumbnails. That is something they essentially need as a business and they only track those numbers, at least currently, on purchases you buy through them.

Problem is B: When it was first released it would copy certain files over from Steam without permission from the user. That is... bad. That is just bad. And they have said as much and they are working on it. Does that mean as quickly as we'd like? No, but if that is a problem still there a year after launch for Epic, I think they'll get crucified. If what they had been doing was illegal, Steam's vocal complaints and suspicions about them would have brought out a settlement... But again, I'll get to Steam later.

3. Epic Games is Killing PC Games With Exclusives!

Alright. *cracks knuckles* We're now getting into the stuff that REALLY pisses me off to hear. So, let's first talk about what exactly exclusivity on a platform means and how it is obtained. A publisher/company affiliated with a console, such as Nintendo, Microsoft, and Sony, will hear a pitch from a company and nod saying that they like it. They like it so much that they'll give the developers MUCH more money then usual for a publishing deal if they are willing to only put it on their console. This is supposed to be a forever thing because it's how the company makes back its money through sales of their consoles and higher brand recognition. It is almost entirely a marketing tactic... on the publisher's side.

Now let's swap that to the developer's side. They want to take a risk and do something big and out of the box. This can be creating a third person shooter with shields, an alien world, and NEXT GEN GRAPHICS!, or create a big, open world superherp game that makes you FEEL like the superhero. Or, maybe, it allows a company to try to break from a normal formula of knights, European aesthetic, and slow gameplay to something faster, Cthulhu and Victorian in mythos. And if none of you have picked up on the fact that I'm talking about Bloodborne, Spiderman 2018, and HALO, then you live under a rock. Exclusive deals have led to some of the best, genre defining games period because of the additional development time, money, and help they get for doing this.

So, where does Epic sit on this? Well, PC exclusivity has kind of always been a thing, but they're changing it to launcher exclusivity...

3.5 Epic Games adds another Launcher! Grow a fucking pair you entitled pieces of shit! It's one fucking launcher that's entirely free to download!

Sorry for that outburst. I genuinely cannot put up with that argument after my time at Job Corp. Anyways, what they're doing is that they'll give a company extra money and marketing, like any exclusive deal, for them to sell only on the Epic Games Store page... for a year. After a year they have no control over it unless the developer has decided to work only with Epic period as far as sales go. This approach has garnered them a lot of hate from gamers who are watching their favorite game series like Metro. The go there to die...

And sell more copies of their game than they did for the previous installment. Yeah, weird how awful this is when so many developers love it. They get to experiment with their games more, take more time, and Epic is willing to put in the effort to show them off unlike.. Well, I'll get to it.

4. Epic Games is Killing Games and the Economy By Giving Developers More Money

*opens mouth* *closes it* *sighs* I genuinely told one of my followers to fuck off over this point. That statement people make about the revenue split is so mind boggling counter intuitive that it pisses me off that I actually have to fucking talk about it. But, talk about it I do have to.

So, for anyone who doesn't know, Epic takes 12% of revenue from game sales on their platform. On top of that, if you use Unreal Engine, their engine, to make the game, they waive the 5% licensing fee they normally do on other platforms. Steam on the other hand, and I'm not waiting this time because fuck you Steam, takes 30% of every sale and only gives 70% back. So, let's say you make a game using Unreal. Here are the numbers for developers on returns:

Steam: 30% to Steam + 5% to Epic for their engine = 35% of sales taken off before ever seeing the developer.

Epic: 12% to Epic= 12% taken away before seeing the developer.

That is three times as much lost if you are using Unreal. If you're not, it's still two and a half times as much lost. So, I'm going to go into an analogy I heard at one point about Epic. That Epic is like Walmart in their predatory tactics and trying to undercut their competitors. However, let's actually compare how the two are going about this. Walmart does it by telling manufacturers that, due to their lion share of the market, that they can either sell to them cheaper, thus allowing Walmart to sell at lower prices at higher profit to themselves, or they won't stock a product and thus the company will stay in obscurity. Larger companies will take this because they have their own money to wave around and bully the places they get their resources from, forcing those companies to have to do the same and etc. etc. This is part of why Walmart screws over their employees and customers so infamously. They have to cut a corner in order to get this buying power and they do so by screwing everyone who isn't them.

Epic meanwhile... takes the hit to the chin and keeps going. They figured out that as purely a digital distributor that upkeep and service fees on their store did not need to be so high so, in order to be competitive, they took the financial burden on themselves and spread the money to the other companies and their developers. They thus increase the ability for these companies to make more games, treat their employees better, and spread money into other sectors of the economy because of the investment that...

Holy shit, Regen was right for the first time literally ever about Trickle Down Economics. Shame someone isn't doing that despite their profits...

5. Epic Games is Killing the Economy With Their New Sale!

This is going to hit everything of the Epic Games Epic Sale that is going on. For anyone who doesn't know, the sale is that any game that is 14.99 or higher is on sale at specifically 10 dollars off, even if it was already at a discount. How is it on sale? Well, Epic is making it so that instead of the developer or publisher having to decide to lower the price of it, Epic is once again taking it to the chin to give the discount themselves and paying the ten dollars out of pocket while their developers see no change in what they get for each sale. It's akin to Subtember on Twitch where if you got a gift sub, you could get another month at an extreme discount while the streamer on Twitch got the full amount of the sub they normally do.

So, what went wrong? Well, somethings legitimately wrong. Epic incorrectly thought that because they were taking the monetary hit that they could do this without warning and/or consulting the developers and game holders ahead of time. Theoretically, this makes sense as they're only trying to do the developers a solid through this pricing. The problem is that it messes up promotional campaigns that these other companies plan to do and... to some fucking morons, 'devalues the product'. To explain why that's wrong... AH!

So, when does a sale happen normally? Well, let's use Walmart and their clearance section. An item goes there when it is deemed no longer wanted by the populace and they want to get rid of it. At the price it is put at, it is commonly sold at a loss or break even for the company, but people who would not spend the original amount on the item will now be interested in it, increasing demand and making sure the item gets sold so they get some money back from the purchase. A digital sale is similar, but this time just being willing to accept less profits from those who wouldn't buy it otherwise. After all, digitally it takes very little to stock an endless supply of a product on a marketplace, so you never have to worry about initial investment that needs to be made up. However, how many times have you seen a game on Steam and go, "Well, that's neat, but I'm going to wait for a sale." In that moment, you have become someone who has deemed that product less valuable than it is initially proposed at. Companies know that there are people out there like that and thus will reach out to get those sales by dropping the price temporarily and making sure you buy the product at all rather than never.

This also DOESN'T DEVALUE THE PRODUCT! Just because something went on sale before does not mean it's suddenly tarnished. People are, USUALLY, smart enough to go, "Man, it was nice for them to put this 20 dollar game on sale for a week at 10 dollars. It's a shame I couldn't get it then, but 20 dollars was the price it is normally sold at." Something going off sale is not  a fucking price hike (and yes, I saw Jim Sterling's video earlier today, and yes I think he's a fucking moron like usual) but instead it returning to normality.

A fucking price hike is the bullshit that Supergiant Games pulled. See, they came up with an excuse that "Hey, our European fans can't get the discount because of a few cents because Epic is (it wasn't) screwing up getting the conversion right." So what did they do? Up the price by a dollar and thus keep their actions honest? Nope! They upped it to 25 bucks instead of the 20 it is commonly sold at and claimed "Hey, we always planned to make it this price anyways, we're just doing it earlier now." And this is where this type of sale comes into trouble for the person trying to do right. Supergiant realized that if they raised the price by five dollars they could still look like their game was on sale at 15 while raking in another $4.40 off of every purchase generated by the sale. That is a tactic joked about in clothing commercials about retail stores doing so that their sale looks better, but doesn't actually save you as much money.

And guess who hasn't corroborated with the claim that the sale didn't work in Europe? Europeans. Guess what game is still eligible for sale after Supergiant put it back down to 19.99 because of backlash? Hades, the game Supergiant upped the price on. That isn't Epic's fault. That should be getting people to think twice about how good Supergiant is and make them concerned as to what other bad practices they might be employing in order to make an additional profit.

Now, the last thing I will comment on in the sale is the lack of a shopping cart. Because there is no shopping cart, purchases must be made individually. After a time, to try to help against fraud, banks and online services will often lock a card or account if they deem this sort of activity as unusual. This takes, at best, just a call to your bank to fix. I don't know what the worst case scenario is. This was a GROSS oversight on Epic's part and hopefully will be fixed by the time the sale is over in a MONTH. So, like much of the rest of Epic's stuff, it is damaged by moving too fast, not preparing enough, and by customer facing aspects that are ugly and NEED to be fixed.

I would rather have that then

6. Steam

Yeah, I want to open a discussion on this too. After all, what has Steam done since Epic has opened their store? What has Steam done over the past half decade? Arguably: Little good, and little of anything people want. After all, Steam's client still doesn't feature mutliple tabs, they tried implementing paid mods without improving the client at all or explaining why it would be better for modders to do so (just that they would ALL make more money) and they have LOOOOVED fanning fan flames furiously over Epic. After all, if they didn't what would happen?

They would have to try. They would have to do something other than trying to make as much money as possible. And this isn't just me trying to make Steam/Valve out to be a villain. This is reminding people that they are. After all, Valve's biggest published game in the past few years was Evolved. Evolved was a game that, by PUBLISHER DEMAND was decided to have a season pass, lock most of its content behind hundreds of hours of grinding, and this all led to a game that ended up dead rather than the something special it could have been. At this point the developers have even turned it free to play to try to keep the game alive, but for many it was too little too late.

Steam has gone unopposed for too long with practices that aren't healthy. That comparison before of Walmart? Well, if Epic fails, every developer who wants to publish on PC will have the same problem they had before as they turn around to Steam and ask, "Hey, can you only take a 12% cut so we can try to keep making games?"

Steam: "Sweety, if you're that strapped for cash, just crunch some unpaid overtime and give me my fucking money." Because that has been Steam's response this past half a year and to developers who could really use a break to help make it so that their companies can be incentivized to take care of their developers. But hey, I mean, if you're a game that will get lost in the Steam shuffle because you aren't made well enough to get on Epic (which I do hope is changed someday) but were never going to make it anywhere on the front page of Steam... Well, Steam isn't ever going to give you that big, front page banner ad, and I really only have sorry to say to you and to wish you the best of luck, because Steam isn't going to reward you for their loyalty, or they haven't shown any sign of that yet.

And again, I would love to hear from all of you in the comments below. Also, an admitted counter to Steam's stuff is that they are now allowing more porn on the website, but I feel like that's more to compete with Nutaku than to allow better games onto their platform unfortunately, because we need better developed porn games first.

[cutekaiju]

Pokemon Moon Namelocke Episode 4: Getting Schooled

Current Party:

Capricorn the shiny Skiddo - level 20

Kyuubi the Vulpix - level 19

Patrick the Panpour - level 18

POOPERMAN the Farfetch’d - level 20

- - - - -

There wasn’t much to get excited about after having to sacrifice two of my friends (babies that I caught btw) in order to beat the fighting Trial, but I can be happy about all the new mons I’m adding to this game having done pretty well in Wonder Trades the past week.

(Even while updating this I’ve added yet another box so hopefully there will be more variety in what I draw after my first encounters)

There is even a few shinies in there and some great breedjects with egg moves so here is hoping they’ll be able to help me out in the game.

The positive feelings, however, that came with organizing these scores didn’t last long.

Remember how I said I was going to grind up Richie the Meowth to use in my party since I’ve never used Alonan Meowth before?

Nvm.  What kind of a cat gets killed by a bird?  WILL NOT BE MISSED.

Anyway on to the next island!  A fresh start... filled with adventure.... friends... laughter.... love.... and irrelevant cameos.

Dexio you better be honored I even remember who you are, and the only reason I do is because I recently played X.  Glad to see you’ve gone from a Man Child wearing super hero outfits to dressing like a fuck boy now.  Anyway yay Zygrade..... :( who cares..... I’m glad there never was a Pokemon Z tbh rather they just keep pushing forward to new versions instead of reworking a game that was already decent.

Anyway after doing the usual NPC sweep to see if anyone had anything for me it was time to head to the first route of the new island.... and lo and behold.

A quirky little bed bug.  First encounter of the island I’m excited to see what I’ll get.

So the point of this Locke is to love all Pokemon despite what they are and what nicknames that were forced upon them.  Remember these poor Pokemon didn’t have a choice and it’s up to me to love them no matter, but I wasn’t excited about this.  1. What do I even call it?  2. It’s an Illumise enough said.

I settled on just calling her... or they.... misgendered, because I don’t know what the nickname implies, and to tell you the truth Misgendered has surprised me.  

Meanwhile back at the ranch wanna be me Mr. Hau decided to engage in battle and my newest party member held it’s own against both Pikachu and Spheal wanna be with no issues at all, and that’s surprising because I really didn’t put much effort into leveling this beautiful fluid gendered bug.  Also it’s moves are pretty good to be a staller early battle.  Infestation, Moon Light, struggle bug, and probably going to throw a screen up there later it’s actually pretty tanky.

Too be honest Kyuubi is getting a bit jealous.  It use to be my star battle finisher and she didn’t even get to come out.  Needless to say she would not be amused if ten thousand lightning bugs taught her how to dance.

On to the wild grass around the ranch for the next encounter after I battled an angry bull.  Please Taurus you’re nothing compared to Capricorn.  Your star sign isn’t even compatible to his.

In honor of that whole exchange I knew what to nickname my first encounter of the area.

Whatever Mistress Moo I doubt you’re that lonely..... not with them titties.... I’m sure you’ll make lots of friends in this box.  Let’s see who your replacement is.

Oh boy another Meowth.  This one’s name is Kitten.... and I can’t let the past get to me.... so welcome to the party Kitten.  I’ll try not to kill you so I can see what all the hype about dark Persian is (though if it dies I’m sure there are more Meowth in this PC waiting for me)

He’ll, however, have to sit in the box for a minute as I made sure to grab that Eevee egg to use as a gift encounter to pick up one of those lovely level 1′s out of my box later.

No encounters for Route 5, however, because I one shotted the mon I came across.  Thanks a lot Patrick <.<  

Speaking of Patrick though I taught him hidden power fighting since I don’t have a fighting type and his special isn’t too terrible.

Trainers weren’t really an issue except the two that had the birds.  There was a bit of a heal struggle as Kyuubi tried out her will-o-wisp to widdle them down.... I really don’t have much that resists flying that much.

Now on to Gladion.... I don’t know why he is picking a fight with me.  I am a Gladion fan tbh.  I don’t know what it is, because he has a good story.... not the best though, but I think it might be because I really like his hoodie.  It looks nice and warm.

Type: Null go the Kyuubi Will-O-Wisp treatment.  Was a long fight, but still a victory.

Time to start the water Trial.  I have no time for the captain’s humor.... I have pokemans to catch.  

My egg hatched on this route.  I lv. 1 Eevee that I named Prism.  One of my over used names for Eevee’s since I really like that Pink Floyd art of eevee breaking off into it’s different forms.

When it came to the level 1′s in the Brave box there was only two options.  Both fire types.

Both of these I like.  I got the Floof from a friend in Wonder Trade, and Not Shiny is just funny and Charizard is one of my favorite pokes.  Both of them would be great potential replacements for Kyuubi if something horrible happens to her.  

As per usual since they are both the same level I had to do a random.org and got Floofmeister the Growlithe who will have to hang out in the PC since I already got fire covered.

Also right after I hatched the Eevee I caught a Poliwag.

I kind of blanked on a name so I called her Mesmorize.... and her replacement from the Docile box is....

Just B the Delibird.  Would be a great back up if something happened to Pooperman for ice is always lovely, but really just not the mood to level Poor B up at the moment.  So box it is.

Now with that out of the way time to take on the water Trial.

No issues.  None at all... well cept one.  Worry Seed does not make schooling go away.  Science has been accomplished here... all it does is say ‘failed’.  The battle was kind of long, because I played like a legit pussy and used the power of both infestation from misgender’d and then leech seed from Capricorns before vine whipping it out.... and the captain’s stupid sense of humor out of my life.

Yay Waterium Z..... Patrick you can have it.  Proud of you little buddy for learning scald.  

Soon it will be your time to rise above the rest or fail.

Let’s end the episode on a low note, however....

Now that I can surf I went back to Hau’oli.... this time to the beach front since that’s an area I haven’t obtained a Pokemon from.  I caught a Finneon and named it rainmaker.... and in exchange for it I got a....

Like I said I did a lot of Wonder Trading for this project before SUMO came out. So this was bound to happen.  Get in the box Zigg5.