#messing around with limited color palettes again

[weretoad-art]

Death from above (featuring Eska).

[kremechihihi]

My Yoyo Design(s)!!!!

While messing around w/ the Yoyo doodle from my last blog post, I found that adjusting the hue by 25% to the right gets you his jsrf palette. Coincidence or not, I ran with that logic and thought of creating a new Yoyo design with what I got from sliding the hue adjustor all the way to the right : purple and blue.

But before running with purple jacket blue hair Yoyo just like dat, I wanted to try n analyze his canon looks n take note of the constants in both desoigns which are : red ractangular shades, baggy clothing, hanging belt, hooded upper wear, dark-colored bottom wear, bigger (compared to others) round yellow hued skates, and ofc his smug ass grin.

More importantly, his character color palette utilizes red, orange, yellow, green, and blue only which made this redesign thing a little challenging,,,

,,,and challenging it was 😵‍💫 i wanted to try pushing a 7 hue palette on him to sort of break from his usual scheme and make the look more ‘new’ buut obviously it didn’t work out. so i stuck with the usual 5 hue limit and wowers it works!!!

As for the design itself i wanted to go for a layered look. Gave him a cargo vest cus i thought it’d look sick on em + gives off the same tactical look his “bullet sling” looking sash from his future design does. Instead of a hanging belt, I went with a hanging suspender (?) similar to what tripp pants have. Double layer ripped jeans for a way to add color to the usual dark bottom wear, also to have (lime) green stand out in his overall look similarly with his canon designs. As for the skates…they’re not exactly skates. He’s wearing sneakers but with this chunky round skates sole that’s removable so he can wear/show off his counterfeit sneaker collection while being able to skate around town. For the sake of this design, I wanted the sneakers and soles to have a similar yellowish hue to counter the usual yellow skates with black/navy grey design. Similar to future, his hair is exposed but it’s messy and unkempt like what i assume his og hair is. Lastly, the shades are all-red and sport-like in shape.

In the end, I am satisfied with how he looks but I still wanted to make a Yoyo design based on my own tastes and color scheme. So here’s anotha wan!!!!!!!!

Originally just an alt color palette, I turned it into its own design cus why not.

This time I’m following the idea that instead of a hue adjustment, his hair is the color of the previous design’s jacket which is turquoise! 5 hue rule applies here too.

Kept the same idea for the shoes, but now his socks can be seen. His hair roots are grown out (though i personally think it’s just bleached). He’s got a headband keeping his bangs away, orange fingerless arm warmers, and lime ish olive green cargo pants. Jacket is now royal blue going indigo cus i’ve always thought it’s his favorite color n i really just wanted to see it as a main color in his design from just his og skate wheels color. Instead of a belt, the open rings in his jacket have three ribbons hanging made to look like an arrow, in reference to the arrow designs on his og skates as well. Aaand lastly the shades, kinda wanted to stick with all red again but what if red frames and white/transparent lens 🧐 an inversion of his og sunglasses. It’s asymmetrical in shape to form a silly eye expression.

Anyway that iz all, designing these were an inch resting experience. Considering doing other character redesigns as well but not anytime soon, i got other stuff going on.

[underpaid-paragon]

Your VTM comic book covers are simply GORGEOUS, I'm totally in awe! How did you get the super cool halftone/coloured dots effect? It looks super cool and realistic, I love it! Have a lovely day! :)

Thank you so much!

So to get the halftones, I use an old-ass tutorial I got off deviantArt literally....more than a decade ago? (Rosalarian's Golden Age Tutorial). The account appears to be deactivated, but I'll go through the steps here:

For reference, I bounce between Clip Studio Paint and a very old-ass copy of Photoshop, but if you're using other programs that have fun pixelate filters and you can change the color mode, you should be ok.

NOW...

Ink your drawing in straight black on its own layer

Block your colors on another layer (I hunted up some old comic color palettes thanks to madformidcentury dot com/2013/10/mid-century-color-palette-in-comics dot html)

Turn off any and all blackwork (this is INCREDIBLY important), and take your colorwork into Photoshop. (if there are any gaps in your color work, fill a separate layer with white and then merge the layers so it's all solid)

Set the mode to CMYK

Go to Artistic Filters >> Pixelate >> Color Halftone (the only thing I mess around with is the size of the dots; the default for my era of Photoshop is 8 and that's a lil big for my taste--all the VTM covers are between 4-6. It's up to your own best judgement, but I go by how "readable" things look--does the face still look like a face at a reasonable distance or is it just a smudge? If it's not readable, undo and change your dot size)

Add 3 new layers to your document and LABEL THEM: Cyan, Magenta, and Yellow

Then go to your channels panel and click on the Cyan layer to make a selection of it

Back to your Layers panel, make sure you're on your Cyan layer, and SELECT INVERSE

Then FILL the selection with the CMYK cyan that you've picked out

Deselect your selection, move to the next layer (and make sure you've got CMYK magenta in your bucket) and repeat steps 6-8 selecting Magenta and Yellow respectively

NOW you've got the beginnings of retro-feeling halftone. At this point, I import the halftone manipulation back into CSP and turn my blackwork back on.

For the ✨ grunge ✨ effect, I grab an old paper texture (after reducing its saturation and upping the contrast until it's mostly black and white splotchy) and set it to OVERLAY at anywhere from 50-20% (this is a 'let your soul decide' moment) over the whole thing

Then I grab another old paper texture and put underneath the Overlay Texture Layer, on MULTIPLY, at anywhere from 65-25% (again, let your soul decide). Both layers will give you a nice level of funk to go with your halftone shenanigans

A lot of the colorwork is going back and forth and back and forth because what looked ok in flats didn't translate after toning, but it works out eventually!

Some important things to remember:

Cool tones tend to fade back and warm tones tend to move forward if you're gonna use this method on any kind of scene

Keep your shapes SIMPLE; don't get bogged down in tones of gradients and fades and all of that because most of it WILL NOT come across once you start toning! Think of it this way: mass-production doesn't have time for fine detail, that's why comics are a lot of heavy black inks and flat color contrast

Experiment with the colors! You're working in a limited palette (if you're using any of the old Marvel/DC print books especially), and it doesn't have to be photorealistic/absolute. For instance, my Nos isn't actually green, but the tone suited the funky retro vibe so I went with it!

Let yourself fall down the research rabbit hole of pulp covers because they're both hilarious and informative. Same dot energy is an interesting collection website to go through, you can also go through your search engine (remember to add -pinterest -youtube to your search term to filter out that crapola)

HAVE FUN!

💖

[onepoly]

The 25th Year | Week 5 | Shading, Terrain, Editor

Hello and welcome to week 5 of my kinda-weekly blog! This week, I’ve been working on some possible improvements to shading, changing the way I color the terrain, and some editor stuff.

Shading

Last time, I discussed my decision to change the game’s art style from lowpoly to smooth. I’ve been messing around with an idea I had: shading detail.

Currently, the shading looks like this:

Which is fine, but a bit basic. A few days ago, an idea popped into my head. Would it be possible to use a noise texture to change how the shading is applied? I implemented a basic version of this concept, and this is the result:

It’s certainly made it look more interesting. Not necessarily good, but for a first attempt it’s not bad. I’m currently mapping this texture

onto the sphere with some triplanar mapping. It’ll look fine on models that don’t animate, but as soon as something bends the effect will probably look like shit. Maybe screen-space mapping would look better…?

Terrain Colors

With this change of art style, the terrain is now looking a bit out of place. Previously, I was just changing the terrain mesh’s vertex colors, like so:

Pretty bad, but it kinda worked with the old style.

If I were to just sample the layer mask directly, it would look like this:

Wow. That looks even worse.

But why?

The way I’m handling my terrain layers is really flexible, but also really unorthodox and it has one rather big limitation.

Typically, games represent their layers with a splatmap. Each color channel of the image (RGBA–red, green, blue, alpha) represents a material, such as grass or stone. This method is fine, but you’re limited to just five layers (pure black can be a layer too). You’ll need to use multiple splatmaps if you want any more.

I could do it this way, but it sounds like a lot of work to manage. And I’m lazy. So I’ve come up with a different–and much stranger–method.

Rather than use four color channels of a pixel, I just use one–let's call this the Layer Index. I have an image that’s 1 pixel tall and 100 wide, which acts as a color palette. I use the Layer Index as an offset to sample the color palette. 0 is stone, 1 is grass, 2 is dirt, and so on.

(Side note, I’ll almost certainly change how I handle the palette later, because it’s pretty annoying to work with right now)

This is great, because it means I can have a hundred layers, rather than just five. Well, technically I could have a few million, but that’d just be silly.

There’s one big limitation to this system though, I can’t use any texture filtering. If I were to smooth out the pixels, it would mess up the offset, which would give me a mixture of various layers in between each pixel of the splatmap.

So, I can smoothly blend the layer together, and I don’t want to just display raw pixels. So what now? Do I go back to using regular old splatmaps? Do I give up game development and live out the rest of my life as a wandering forest hermit, living off the land until either I or the ecosystem die?

No.

I can’t make it smooth–at least, not easily–but I can offset the position I’m sampling the Layer Index from.

Using this incredibly gross looking texture,

I have transformed my terrain from the janky looking pixelated garbage, into this:

Ok, so it still doesn’t look that great, but it’s better than it was.

World Editor

After some research and experimentation, I’ve decided to build an ‘in game’ world editor, rather than build off of Godot’s like I was initially planning to. Why? The camera.

You see, the further you get away from the center of the world, the fuckier things get. To avoid this, open world games do something called Origin Shifting. You pretty much just take the world, and push everything back so the player is in the middle again.

While working in the editor, I’d like the world to load around me like it would in-game. However, this would require origin shifting to avoid the previously mentioned fuckiness. You’re probably thinking the same thing I was when I started this project; “So what? Just move the editor camera along with everything else. Simple, right?”

Nope.

For reasons beyond my understanding, moving the editor camera through a plugin doesn’t do anything. Well, technically it does, but it teleports back to wherever it was before when you try to move it again.

This–along with some general frustrations with Godot’s plugin system–has convinced me to build a custom world editor.

This is still very early in development, so I don’t have anything substantial to show you right now. I’m not entirely sure how difficult this will be, but I’m sure it’ll be worth it.

End of Blog

Wow, would you look at that! I mostly released this one on time.

incredible

Next week, I’ll be focusing primarily on the editor, terrain, and world loading. Might work on some more monster designs too.

[2headlightshine]

project #3 - e-textile monster

when the prompt of "plush monsters" was brought up, i immediately had a concept in mind.

i have been trying to figure out a design for a children's character based off one of these bunny sea slugs. they're a real sea slug native to japan and they just... look like this. naturally. i can't believe they're not a made up creature. translating this little cotton ball into a character has been challenging and i figured this project might help provide some insight

i made some test sketches and a pattern for the body

this was my first experience actually sewing so i had to figure out a lot of things as i went. i was trying to leave a seam allowance because i know it's important to do so, but i don't think i executed it nearly as well as i'd like to have. regardless, it was a good learning experience for patternmaking.

the point of the project was having the plush interact with tech -- with help i set up a circuit and sewed it together with conductive thread

although i was trying to be careful i definitely crossed my positive and negative wires somewhere. because it was all one color i couldn't tell where the cross was, so i pulled everything out and started again. (sad) (depressing) (nightmarish) (worst day of my life)

it actually wasn't that bad the second time around. i was more comfortable with a needle and thread at that point, and color-coding the positive and negative circuits helped me keep everything organized. because the lines aren't crossing, the lights successfully turn on.

i think it was worth messing up the first time because now i'll never go into a sewing project without making myself a guide on the plush again. referencing a drawing just doesn't click with my brain.

then i had to sew my bunny's body together and stuff it

it's a bit of a hackjob -- when you hold bunny in your hands, there are spaces where the fabric has gaps and the stuffing pokes out a bit. i also had to cut the ears off and redo them because the patterns were totally misaligned. from there, i brought some detail back into her face and her ears, and sewed buttons on for eyes. (a little creepy, but a little cute, too -- like coraline!)

from there, all that was left was putting together some clothes to protect the stuffing holes and hide the circuitry. i designed some simple overalls with a limited color palette that could play off the pinks and purples on her body already.

once i had sewn the body together, i was able to add details and embellishments. i decided to play up the button details to emphasize that homemade quality. i had to cut out the fabric under the buttons so the lights would shine through -- it's very subtle, but still visible

here's a recording of the lights in action

overall i'm very happy with the result, and i think i learned the basics of some skills that will help me a lot with my senior thesis project next semester.

What does your plush monster say about you?

my bunny has been a workshopped project for a long time and i will be spending a lot more time with her in the near future. she's a testament to my stylistic/artistic passions -- cute and nostalgic things, children's entertainment and design, weird and silly animals -- and the artistic commitment i'm trying to stick to.

i have always found it difficult to sit with a project and explore all possible avenues of it -- my brain often works faster than my hand, and once i have a rough idea on paper, i want to immediately move onto the next. i'm trying to sit and get to know bunny in as many ways as i can. i think it's a good way for me to leave my comfort zone.

What was a surprising moment?

crossing the wires for my first circuit attempt was devastating. reworking it the second time gave me another surprise -- it wasn't nearly as painful as i thought it would be. at that point, sewing had even started to become relaxing.

If you had more time, what is one thing you would change? Do next?

i'd like to learn more about dollmaking and pattern drafting, so she could be more three-dimensional instead of pillow-shaped.

[mixedmayhem]

I messed up big time recently! It has been long enough since I submitted work to be printed, that I forgot the crucial step of verifying my color modes before uploading files to be printed on demand. Thankfully, nothing was purchased before I caught the mistake, and I have made all sorts of corrections since then. Namely, I took down my Society6 store since it just wasn't worth the aggravation to get everything set up yet again, and I updated all of my files on Redbubble and my fine art print shop to include removing any previous designs that just wouldn't print correctly.

So what was all this fuss really about and is the extra work really worth it? I think so! Because check out this print sample or my work (image shown above), "Take One," I recently received from my shop. Those colors are so bold and bright, and they look identical, if not better than the digital file!

Correct color profiles are absolutely a crucial element to ensure your art prints correctly. Two commonly used color systems in the industry are CMYK and sRGB. CMYK is used primarily for printing, while sRGB is used for digital displays such as computer monitors and mobile devices. Let’s take a closer look at these two color systems and their differences.

CMYK is an acronym for cyan, magenta, yellow, and black; this may seem familiar if you've ever changed out the ink cartridges on your home printer. These four colors are used in combination to create a wide range of colors and when printed on paper, they create a color space known as subtractive color. In other words, the ink absorbs light and subtracts color from the white paper. CMYK is used primarily in printing because it can produce a large number of colors and shades with high accuracy, which is ideal for a fine art print.

On the other hand, sRGB is an RGB (red, green, blue) color space used for digital displays used by most computer monitors, televisions, and other digital displays like tablets and phones. The sRGB color space is considered an “additive” color model, which means the colors are added together to create the final color.

The key difference between the two color systems is their color gamut. A color gamut refers to the range of colors that can be produced within a particular color space. CMYK has a more limited color gamut compared to sRGB which is why when converting from RGB to CYMK, you may notice some color loss in your art that you didn't intend for. This is because the inks used in printing cannot reproduce the same range of colors as a digital display, so when designing for print, it is important to keep in mind the limitations of the CMYK color space.

So how do you get around the color loss issue? If you're creating digital work, change your color profile to CYMK for your working color palette while working on your designs. This ensures bright, crisp colors when you print without the loss of the vivid hues you originally chose. When scanning traditional artwork, you should have the option in your scanner's software to choose a CYMK mode. I personally use a lot of .png files which means my CYMK files are typically saved to sRGB automatically for display and is the preferred file format for most of the print-on-demand services I use.

I hope this helps with any color profile woes you may have! Let me know if you have any questions, and I will do my best to assist.

Much love,

P.S. Here's the latest deal from Skillshare that I received via email. Full disclosure: These are affiliate links, but I genuinely love this service and have paid for it out of my own pocket on many occasions! I use Skillshare classes to boost my inspiration to make art and to learn new skills. I'm even hoping to launch my own classes on Skillshare, soon! In the interim, here are some handy discounts:

Get 30% off of a Premium Skillshare Membership

Try Skillshare Premium risk-free for 30 days!

[tuliptiger]

I like messing around with ai art programs as an inspiration tool for color palettes, layout of a piece, etc. And because I like ais, HOWEVER I believe that it should be used as a tool only and not as "an artist". Understanding what it is FULLY y'all know better and should know better it does not "create" anything at all. There is no creating here.

It takes pieces of other peoples created work, rips them apart and pieces them together again much like a collage but still very different. And some of you soulless assholes out there may say "well if it makes pictures that look better than real artwork for less time and fits the goal why shouldn't we be able to utilize and sell the pieces?"

Because one just right off the top is saying morals overplayed at this point? Do I need to list the reasons why putting people out of their jobs and careers and passions is a bad thing that you should actively not look to exploit and destroy for profit? Do I need to? Well not only "just because you care about other people" as a baseline but you will lose all the images your ai art program uses. There's only so many amalgamations it can make, it's limited, it is not infinite. If you lose the source of your data pool then your program is ultimately useless. You must look at the art ai as that, it derives all its works from actual artists and you can't ignore that so to spit directly into their faces is not only cruel but it should be (I hope actual laws come out soon) illegal.

I've already seen headlines of real life artists being bullied with these programs by having their art fed into an ai, requesting them to stop, only for them directly ignore the request and continue on. Don't corporate America this, we already have enough and it's actively harming us, AS A WHOLE nobody wins no not even you. Just let it be a tool.

[delusionalgirlwritingfanfic]

Fairy tail wedding

Dream The Endless 

Royal weddings as we know are a big to do. An Endless wedding, you can imagine the uproar, the chaos of whispering the word alone. Dream and (Y/n) were set to say I love you and be content with their vows. They knew however that was an impossible subject to even dwell upon. Such a day would be the extravaganza of a lifetime, an Endless getting married. 

The proposal was well past due. It had become day to day gossip among the citizens of land. Hope. A dream. The kingdom had been begging relentlessly, pushing the Lord of the Realm to his limit. No matter whom he spoke to, the question would be thrown into every casual conversation without fale. His siblings had to join in teasing him. Which he did not find the least bit comforting. 

Of course Morpheus had nothing to worry over. The couple have been on the same page since the day of their first encounter. They were truly a match made in Heaven. Together the pair had decided with the rebuilding of the kingdom that it would be a hopeful and celebratory ceremony representing a transformation into an era of new beginnings. 

The day had come at last, the castle waking in the early morning, the question lies if it ever slept, you could feel the anticipation like static striking you as you breathed, it made your chest tighten. The entirety of the day was spent preparing as the staff frantically ran about, making you more anxious. 

You knew there was logically nothing to fret over and you did try to push it feeling down, however you were an over-thinker and every scenario or thought to exist crossed your mind a car came and ran it back over. Then revered and ran it over again. Any distraction would be a blessing by this point. That would be if it even worked. 

For as of right now,  You could only watch as they talked animatedly. Not a sentence spoken aloud by the girls assisting you get prepared registered through your head. They chatted, asked for stories about you and Morpheus, gushing over how you’ll look in your dress. You couldn’t catch a breath, suddenly it felt like you were going to have a heart attack. It hurts so much to breathe. Your family had even come to the dreaming having learned of the true form of Morpheus, it only caused you more stress, them being here. Your stomach was in utter turmoil. Not just your family but the Endless as well. Who you’ve only met at least once each, To their dismay and in spite of that managing to charm each sibling. But they were daunting to be around. Jesus Christ this was a horrible idea. 

Nothing was calming you down, you tried counting random numbers and listing the colors in the makeup palette the girl was using, you attempted not to move for their benefit of messing them up but you could not just sit still a single moment longer as you sat there ringing your hand together nervously. You didn’t want to make a scene, and definitely didn’t want them to gossip about you. So the next best option. 

“I need to use the restroom.” she blurted, rushing to the bathroom she slammed the door. Leaned her head against it, taking a shakily breath.

In another room of the castle black wings fluttered in apprehension as the raven hopped tilting his head from side to side. Dream the Endless paced, tousled hair growing to far more outrageous from his state of distress. 

“Boss?” Mathew cawed, “Something the matter? Anything you wanna share with your friend, the trusty Raven?” 

“No, not now Matthew, I don't want to be bothered.” He glanced at the bird. “I wish to be left alone.” 

His companion ignored him, hopping closer. “Ya great, I’ll watch you lose it, stressing over nothing, today is gonna go perfect boss.”

 “It’s not today I’m worried about.”

Caw,  “Ok this is good, keep going.”

 “As you may know my prior relationships have a reputation for not having happy endings.” He took a breath hesitating. 

"To be truthful with you I’m frightened she’ll stop loving me, she'll leave. Or that I won't be good enough for her. I want to be a good husband for her."

"She is more than I could have ever asked for and to be a part of the dreaming. It’s as if she was made to be a creature to rule the realm.” 

“I think if she wanted to leave that she wouldn’t have accepted your proposal, that she wouldn’t have decided to work in the realm at all sir. And I never got to experienced love when I was human but I can say I have watched the two of you grow in love together and the way you look at her trust me it’s true love.”

He eyes softened touched by his friend, “Thank you Matthew.” 

~

Pressing hands against the counter, trying to steady her breath she closed her eyes, holding one in slowly letting out the next.

 “Everything is fine, everything is going as planned, it’s only in your head.” she spoke to herself. At this point her hands shook, letting out another uneasy breath. 

One of the girls knocked. “I’ll be out in a minute!” she called back. 

She held a hand to her stomach, another breath in, but this time everything was crashing against her and the tears were falling freely, Silently. She just needed to get her breath back. Control. Over herself. It wasn’t like she didn’t want to marry Morpheus, shit just everything about this situation was utterly overwhelming. Was she insane, a mortal human girl marrying the lord of the dreaming. It doesn’t sound real. Maybe she was dreaming and she’d wake up. 

Ok maybe she was having second thoughts. But it's normal to be nervous. Right? No she wasn’t having second thoughts…..

She did not have a comprehension of time when a second knock came from the door. “One more minute please.” 

“It’s Lucienne Ma'am,” shit, shit, they called reinforcements. 

“I’m fine really. I’ll be right out in a jiff."  

 Lucienne sighed on the other side of the door, “I believe I know you well enough to tell when you're lying to me. May I come in?”

Hesitant the young woman stretched her arm opening the door inwards revealing the girl sitting with her elbows restated on her knees and hands on her hand, brushing her hair back anxiously.

“Oh, dear.” Lucienne sighed. “I think I might know what the matter is.”

“I’m ok, really.”

"I haven't had an opportunity to take a moment to myself today. It's hitting all at once." Lucienne gave her a pointed look.

"No, I mean yes, I'm fine, nothing else is wrong." There was a pause as the woman scrunched her face glancing away from the librarian. "Gash, I hate it when you look at me like that." 

 Lucienne smiled triumphantly.

"Fine. Okay. I'm freaking the fuck out, because in about 3 hours I'm about getting married in front of the Endless! And becoming queen! And that is just a little bit intimidating for someone who is a small mortal who knows nothing."

 The woman huffed, blowing a strand of stray hair. “Ok, I needed to get that out.” 

Lucienne held her hands, "You've always dreamed of this world as a mortal. You are meant to live for dreaming to be a part of us. Now it has come to life, there will be no better queen who could rule for us."

She stretched her hands out letting go of the anxious energy, her posture straightened, and the to-be queen squared her shoulders with a single nod of her head.

The women glanced behind her, "Lucienne, thank you,"

After the small hitch the rest of the day carried on without commotion and while she hadn’t any aspirations for such a commotion that in her opinion was a simple ceremony, the outcome was enchanting. The dedicated which was poured from each soul’s creation coming as one simply because they wholeheartedly idolized this moment.  

Before her eyes she saw dazzling lights, twinkling, vines that twisted on top chairs and lined the outside of the aisle. At the altar the most angelic arch trellis anyone has ever seen. It was positively living in a fairytale. A dream came true.    

Their vows had been short but sweet and when the couple was asked to kiss the air was like magic, a spark, touching the insides, it warmed the hearts, the alluring feeling of this charming scene. 

Now that the reception has started the king and queen were announced to the floor, the guest gathered around to watch. 

She grinned at him. "I didn't think you danced." He lifted her hands. Soft and perfect, they fit in his. He steped into an elegant twirl, "It's nice."

Morpheus smiled for a second time that day. "Only for special occasions. And only for you."

"I could get used to that." He made a contempt noise moving the girl in his arms into a grateful dip, he tentatively lifted her chin cupping her face with his hands he finished the dance with a kiss.

[calciferstims]

how do you make stimboards? i wanna start doing them <3

Ok you know what, BET, you’ve unlocked

✨the official calciferstims tutorial✨

No no ok I’m just messing around, but I will try to walk you through my whole process! 😅 I figure you might not be the only one interested so, what the hell. Prepare for rambling, sorry in advance.

obligatory disclaimer that there is no one way to make stimboards, you don’t have to follow my process, I might put too much effort into it or less effort than someone else does, stimboards are just for fun!!! make em’ however you want! These are just tips/how my brain works.

first of all: picking your themes!!

Surprise: They can be anything!!! And heck, a lot of stimboard themes are just ‘purple cleancore’ or ‘food in pink and blue’, and those are pretty self explanatory. But a lot of the boards I happen to make are themed around characters, and it can be a little tricky to pick your themes!

First of all, I would recommend picking a color palette to try and stick to. Let’s pretend I’m making a Loki stimboard so I’ll probably go with green, gold and black.

You can chose any themes to go with those colors!! Like I could do a Loki stimboard with themes of lovecore and soft things or whatever. But if I’m not going off of anything specific, I usually try really hard to pick some cool themes to match the character. (Of course, you don’t need to do this,, it’s just for me I think it’s a lot cooler to have gifs that fit the character/subject rather than just random slime and stuff). So like, idk, maybe for Loki I want knives, snakes, fancy stuff, all that jazz! But again, it doesn’t matter too much, I just like to isolate those things!

Then you can just search for all your gifs and save them 😌 I usually try to dive pretty deep and try plenty of searches until I get a nice collection to chose from. (But then again I get overwhelmed by that sometimes, lmao). Important: please pretty please find your sources directly via tumblr, and try your very best to locate the original gifset or at least check that the links on a stim board actually lead back to the og creator! Google and Pinterest can be very unreliable places to find stims with actual sources - you have a whole organized system of blogs to search from right here. And please save your sources as you are looking - I save them right to my drafts, but you can save them anywhere you want as long as you keep ‘em.

And yeah, it’s really not that complicated but I’m extra so that’s how I go about it 😅

second: putting the darn thing together

Super simple!! The only hard part sometimes can be picking what gifs you want to include (I definitely struggle sometimes, lol. Nine gifs can be so limiting 😭 damn you tumblr!)

Hot Tip™️: ✨pretty arrangements✨

A big thing you might notice is that, in my opinion at least!! Stimboards tend to look a lot nicer if you organize them in a satisfying, even way! Of course you don’t have to do this, just throwing that out there again - but I think it makes a more out-together looking board.

Usually, I’ll kind of group certain gifs together based on color, theme, kind of stim, ect, and then try to arrange the board so that it’s ‘even’ and looks nice to me.

Some examples of what I mean (using colors to show different themes):

Again, not necessary, but a personal preference!

Also important detail I almost forgot to mention: Another thing that I just think makes everything look way nicer.. Try your best to make sure all your gifs are square so you don’t have like, awkward skinny rectangles in there. You can use a website like ezgif.com or something similar to crop gifs and edit them in other ways!

And that’s about it!!

Oh, but one more thing….

INCLUDE THE SOURCES OR I STEAL YOUR KNEECAPS

Ok that’s all ☺️ no but seriously, it’s very easy and takes two seconds. Most people link them with little x’s or emojis or whatever, but you can do it however you want, as long as they’re easily available. For adding links to text/emojis, you can add them by highlighting the text in question and clicking the little link symbol 🔗 that pops up next to the other text editing features. Make sure to double check that all your links are working, finish up however you please, and you’re ready to post!!

That’s all folks! I hope that answered your question nonny, sorry for the long response 😂 This is kinda less for one person and more to take the chance to explain everything for anybody else! And of course I cannot resist being overly thorough. Good luck making your boards anon, I can’t wait to see them!! :) /gen

[thepettymachine]

A Different Kind of Jam Legacy Challenge for TS3

Honestly I just wanted to make another challenge that involved colors and had a theme but then it changed into something completely different so I thought I share. 

The Jam Legacy is a 9 generation legacy challenge based on fruits you can put into jams/jellies and has a specific color palette if you choose to go with it. Each generation is a quirky bunch and meant for some weird gameplay. So if you enjoy weird gameplay, nice fall colors, and maybe 9 generations of fun, this might be your jam.

For those who wish to do this in TS4, @nadzicle​ created an excellent conversion  of this.

Tag: jam legacy or “@” me

Rules:

All requirements that are needed for the generation are in the “Ingredients” section. 

Have fun and do what you want.

Gen 1: Strawberry

Everyone loves strawberries. They are sweet and popular just like you. You love getting to talk and meet new people at every chance you get and everyone loves how friendly you are. But your desire to help people has been the main driving point in your life. As you tend to others, you also tend to neglect taking care of yourself. As a workaholic, your house is a mess, your children don’t get to see you anymore, and your personal life is in shambles. Need to take some PTO if you ask me. 

How to make Strawberry:

Ingredients:

Career: Doctor

LTW: Super Popular

2 Traits - Workaholic & Slob

20 Friends

Skill - Charisma

Directions:

Must have the Workaholic and Slob traits

Have 20 friends and maintain those relationships until the next generation.

Neglect your children’s skills (No teaching toddler skills, helping with homework or teaching teens to drive)

Can only clean the house once a week.

Must cancel any other interaction and no outside help

Master the Charisma skill

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Gen 2: Peach

Peaches are nice and juicy, just like your creative process. You enjoy creating as it brings joy to you and those around you. But as a child, your parents neglected you as they were focused on anything and everything but you. So you found love from others and in other places where you felt like you mattered. You deserve a treat and you also treat your children to whatever they want. They’re spoiled rotten.  

How to make Peach:

Ingredients: 

Career: Self Employed (Painter/Writer/Sculptor)

LTW: Illustrious Author

3 skills - Painting, Sculpting, and Writing

10 Lovers

Found Family

5,000 dollars

Children

Directions: 

Master the Painting, Sculpting, and Writing skills.

Have 10 different lovers throughout your lifetime/at the same time

Go to the spa/stylist once a week because you deserve it

Have a maximum of 5,000 in household funds. Any amount over you spend on unnecessary items/furniture/activities

Have a close relationship with your children (spoil them rotten)

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Gen 3: Grape

You’ve always had a dream where you had a big beautiful ranch that would allow for you to take care of your horses in peace as you flaunt your wealth to those who envy you. But working hard for that money is just too much of a hassle unless someone has already done the work for you. If you want to maintain your dream, I guess you gotta marry big or have them die trying. In the meantime, you invest your money into the local businesses around town and have a side gig for nectar making. Then invite those haters to your ranch only for them to be reminded just how much better you are than them. Have a sip of that wine.

How to make Grape:

Ingredients:

Career: Equestrian

LTW: The Jockey

Skills: Nectar Making, Mixology, and Riding

3 pieces of property

2-3 horses

A ranch

Directions:

Own a ranch/farm that’s worth more than $150,000+

Have 2-3 horses

Master the Nectar Making, Mixology, and Riding skills

Host a big party at least once a week

Own 3 pieces of property in town

Win a competition on the highest level for Racing

Marry a rich sim and have them mysteriously die from unknown circumstances

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Gen 4: Plum

You’ve always believed that the universe has the answers to the questions you’ve always wondered. Like why is the sky blue? What really happened to Bella Goth? Was my parent really killed for the insurance money or the inheritance of the ranch? Sometimes these questions are left unanswered which is why you investigate the truth, supernatural or not, because it is waiting out there to be solved. Might as well document it for the views. 

How to make Plum:

Ingredients:

Career: Private Investigator

LTW: Pervasive Private Eye

Skills: Logic and Social Networking

A 5 star blog

1 death

1 death flower

A death cure (ambrosia & death fish)

Directions:

Master the Logic and Social Networking skill

Have a 5 star blog

Have a death flower in your inventory so you can meet the Grim Reaper and beat death once

Have a sour relationship with your living parent and bring back your dead parent (if you can/applicable)

Be turned into a supernatural and then find the cure to be turned back (optional to be human again)

Be abducted by aliens and have an alien child.

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Gen 5: Pumpkin

There’s always been an obsession with finding ways to tinker and fix things with you. You’ve always  found comfort in creating something with your bare hands and you tend to enjoy your own company and make few friends since you live far away from everyone else. It’s mostly because you need the space for your inventions and experiments with time travel. Wait what?!You also pride yourself by living off your own land and deciding not to feast on your animal companions you find in the wilderness as they are your only friends.

How to make Pumpkin

Ingredients: 

Career: Inventor

LTW: Renaissance Sim

Skills: Inventing, Handiness, and Science

3 children

5 woodland creatures

Trait: Vegetarian

Directions:

Master the Inventing, Handiness, and Science skills

One of your children have to be from the time machine

No more than 3 kids in the household

House must be as far away from the town as possible

Own at least 5 small pets in your home.

Everything you cook must come from your garden, so no grocery shopping from the fridge

Must have the Vegetarian trait.

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Gen 6: Pomegranate

As a child, you’ve always wanted to see the sights and travel from your little corner of the world. But your heart has always yearned for a big family you never received for when you were younger. To have two worlds come together, you decide to do most of your traveling in spring/summer and stay at home in the fall/winter seasons. When you’re at home, you spend time with your children and cook their favorite meals all while joined by the fire. And when you’re not at home, you are traveling those big adventures you’ve always dreamed of doing and to bring home the stories and souvenirs your loved ones will enjoy. What a good life indeed.

How to make Pomegranate:

Ingredients:

Career: Stay at Home Parent

LTW: Seasoned Traveler

5 children

Skill - Cooking

Directions:

Spouse has to be from a different world than you

Have 5 children and have a great relationship with all of them

Master the Cooking skill

Celebrate each holiday at least once.

Cook everyone’s favorite meal at least once

Own a complete collection of artifacts from any destination

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Gen 7: Orange

Listening to stories growing up about meeting new people and exploring new worlds has put the call of adventure into your heart. But with the limited time in this world and so many resources on your hands, you’re kinda indecisive about what to do. So basically you just do about everything on an impulsive whim. Joined a band, check. Streak in public, check. Fought a shark, check. Got eaten by a cowplant and lived, check. Turn everybody into a zombie, thought about it. Go to the future and create a dystopian future, oh there’s an idea. Yeah you’re not settling for a while. Not until you find your greatest adventure.

How to make Orange:

Ingredients:

LTW: Jack of all Trades

1 best friend

10 skills

10 jobs

3 moves

1 great adventure

Directions:

Know 10 skills but never master any of them

Spend your life finding the greatest adventure that no one else in your family has done before.

Greatest adventure is defined by you and what you believe is an adventure.

Marry your best friend as an adult

Move 3 times in your lifetime

Have at least 10 jobs under your belt (but you don’t have to reach the highest level in any of them)

Do the most dangerous inappropriate stuff at least 3 times a week.

Streaking/Skinny dipping/making out with a married person/fighting a child/etc

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Gen 8: Kumquat

You can’t stand the status quo of things and you definitely can’t stand the injustice that society normalizes. So something has to change, rather through art or always fighting the system, you believe in changing the world. One step at a time. 

How to make Kumquat

Ingredients:

LTW: Street Credible

Rebel Status

2 local protests

1 skill - Street art

3 enemies

1 change to the world

Directions:

Pull pranks as a teenager on all your neighbors

Get kicked out of college

Reach level 10 of the Rebel status

Protest at least 2 times a week

Master the Street art skill

Have 3 enemies

Can not have a typical career/9-5 job

Contribute to the future - create a utopia/dystopia for the future, become a politician as an adult or become a teacher to teach the youth. Up to you. 

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Gen 9. Blackberry

Growing up, you’ve learned how to always fight for the things you love. Through the strums of your guitar, you’ve created a melody that others can get behind when they are sad, angry, or happy. It’s the battle cry of your performance and the applause of the crowds that keep you going. It’s just that sometimes you wish you had someone to keep you going when things get rough as well. At least you have your bandmates, right?

How to make Blackberry

Ingredients:

LTW: One Sim Band

Career: Band member/Singer

4 Skills: Guitar, Drums, Piano, and Bass

2 failed relationships

1 comeback tour

1 true love/soulmate

Directions:

Master the Guitar, Drums, Piano, and Bass Skills

Create/Join a Band

Have 2 failed relationships before finding the one

True Love Checklist - Attractive, Compatible Sign, 2 similar traits, and the Virtuoso trait

Become a 5 star celebrity

Quit the band to have a solo career as a Singer

Reunite as elders for your comeback tour

Thank you for trying this challenge. Feedback is always welcomed.

Edit: 10/22/21

[plush-rabbit]

Love Bites

Word Count: 2.1K

A/N: I love this demon so much,,, I wanna touch the horns (and tiddies)(*´﹃｀*)

Mammon loves his brothers. How could he not? They’re his cute, lovable little brothers and then there’s Lucifer, the big brother who he absolutely adores. Who he quite literally followed him into the depths of hell. Of course, he’ll never say it out loud unless he was forced to but he does- the love and admiration for them is and will always be there. 

But even he has his limits. 

They're all so close to you, constantly nuzzling into your side and holding your hand, dragging you away for a cuddle-slash-nap session. It’s insulting to him. More than usual. He’s your first- he gets to have the say on who and how you spend your time with. He’s Mammon. Second most powerful of the brothers and the Avatar of Greed. And here he is, arms empty because Asmo quite literally snatched you out of his arms and carried you off to his room while he ignored the cries of protest from him.

He’s had a long week and all he wanted to do was spend the last day of the weekend with you but he can’t even do that. He just wants you. That’s all he wanted- to take your time and have it for himself.

He can feel his greed take over, his hands curling and pupils dilated with want and take.

His steps are quick and he doesn’t bother to knock when he enters, door bouncing off the wdor stopper and he can hear the hiss of an insult and a threat to tell Lucifer. Azure eyes darken as they glance over you: Asmo is above you, straddling you and his hand cups your face while the other rests next to an opened makeup palette. 

“Ugh! You already had your time with them! Plus I want to doll them up a bit,” the younger brother huffs, champagne colored hair delicately framing his face while he pouts.

His little brother can throw his fit, can beg and fight as if he were a child all over again, but the only thing in Mammon’s mind right now is his greed, the avaricious feeling inside of him that’s threatening to take form as he plops you over his shoulder and stalks his way to your room where he tosses you on the bed.

You yelp first and then giggle, straightening out your hair that was ruffled in the process. “Mammon,” you giggle out his name, sitting up on the bed. You look at him where he has his back turned to you, a hand clamped over his face and the aura around him darkens, magic bursting and bubbling and the hair on your arms stand on end. “Mammon dear, you all right?”

“You’re always so close to them.” His words are muffled through his hand but you can hear the bitterness in his voice.

“I don’t mean to be.” You throw your legs over the edge of your bed and watch him with careful eyes. “Are you mad at me?” You raise yourself on your forearms and watch him.

“‘Course not.” His reply is curt and he rolls his shoulders, loud popping sounds fill the room and a part of you trembles in fear while the other in excitement. 

“Then?” You lay back on the bed and you’re thankful that you wore a skirt, legs parting open.

“You forgot who I am.”

“I could never Mammon.” You lose your breath with the simple sentence, desire taking over and when he stiffens his shoulders, you’re certain that he smells it too. You let your head fall back and you sigh. 

He can smell your lust, and when he turns around, his horns protrude from his crown and his wings flutter and they spread wide, ruffling themselves and slowly, they come to a close behind him. 

His legs hit the bed, and tongue peeks out to lick his lips. Watching you, he bends over, his hands toying with the bottom of your shirt. You squirm under his touch and he smiles softly. In a quick motion, your shirt is lifted and stuffed into your mouth. Your back arches and you whine,  words muffled through the fabric that darkens with your spittle.

Warm hands run up your torso, washing over your belly and his fingers hook into the cups of your bra; long, nimble fingers peek inside and white painted nails ghost over your hardening nipples. You bend towards his touch, your eyes half lidded, glazed over with want and he pulls his hands away from you, dipping them towards the middle of you and mutters an apology. In a quick movement your bra is torn off of your body, ripped threads are tossed to the side and your brows furrow in anger. 

“Tch. I’ll get you a new one.” His teeth peek behind his grin, sharp canines that could break your skin make you twitch in anticipation. “Think of it as payback for letting Asmo take you.” Your breasts bob, nipples pebbled and goosebumps trail across your skin.

Your skirt is pulled down, the fabric scratching and pulling at your skin as it falls to the floor. He kicks it off the side and his hand covers your heat, fingers drumming along the entrance and you breath deeply, your arms bent and creating a mock halo around your head.

“Mammon, don’t tease,” you plead, words garbled and broken.

“You really don’t have any authority right now,” he says quietly, his fingers hooking into the side of your underwear and stretching it to watch your sex that drips with arousal. “‘S a real nice pussy.” You squirm with his words and your face burns with his bold words. He’s never been shy to tell you what he thought while fucking you but even now you still aren’t used to it.  “You’re gonna take my cock, right?” You nod your head. “Yeah, I know you are.”

He grabs himself, and presses the tip of his cock on your clit, swiping it up and down, eliciting a shuddering breath from you. His warmth leaves you and a whine sounds in the back of your throat that’s overshadowed by a loud spit sound.

“Did you-”

“Spit on your pussy?” His eyes widen and he bats his eyelashes in a mock innocent fashion. “Yeah.” He gives you a smug grin and with a breath, he presses himself inside of you. 

His length stretches your walls. His tip is enough to make you cover your mouth through your shirt, a gargle cry when he pushes himself inside, the base bulging out, a sharp sting where you kick your legs out and breath harshly through your nose.

“Work through it baby.” He starts moving slowly, his face flushes and the cocky grin remains. “Remember how god it feels. How you’re being stretched out and fucked.” His thumbs circles your clit, pushing the bundle of nerves around. “Just like that baby.” He glances down and meets your eyes. “Fuck doll, I’m gonna cum inside of you.” Your hips jerk upwards. “Is that what you want?” He breathes sharply through gritted teeth. “Want me to fill up your pussy? Breed you like the bitch you are? Huh?” His pace quickens and he bites his bottom lip. “Fuck,” he spits out.

His hand pushes through your shirt and it drags against your teeth as it’s pulled out. A hand is wrapped around your throat, palm pressing down and fingers pressing deep on the sides of your neck. You make a choking sound, and your face grows a deep hue, tears springing in your eyes while you tighten around him.

“Fuck,” he hisses through clenched teeth, rutting against you. “Would ya look at that? Fuckin’ tight. You’re gonna swallow me whole aren’t ya? You fuckin’ slut.”

His words make you whine, your cunt squeezing him with every word and noise that slips past his lips. He thrusts inside of you, his thickness twitching with every movement in your gummy walls. His grip is tight and your body seizes around him, holding him tight while black spots fill your vision and the little air that you have left depletes, and you claw at him, begging for air, choked gasps leaving your mouth.

His head lowers to your shoulder and his grip on you loosens, sweet air filling your lungs again and you gasp for it, greedily taking it in. You rasp his name, croaking it out only to cry when his teeth pierce through your skin, his own moans muffled into your shoulder. He laps at the wounds, tongue swirling and when he rises again to look at you, a drop of scarlet stains his lips. You quiver underneath him and he gives you a smug grin before dipping his head back down his teeth marking your neck with love bites.

“Bend your legs,” he whispers against your ear, placing a wet kiss on your neck. He gives you an appreciative bite when you do as you're told. You whimper at the angle, he hits at your cervix, little cries that are muted when his lips mesh into yours. 

His wings expand, the ends twitching and a shiver runs up his spine and spreads throughout his wings. Your hands shake as they reach up and grab at his horns. Your curls your fists around, thumbs brushing against the twirls and he purrs at feeling.  

You cry his name and he urges you to continue. His name leaving your lips is music to his ears. A heavenly grace that he has experienced in such a long time and he wants to melt into your touch, to coo and purr into your neck, to feel the warmth that you emit. But when he smells a scent that isn't from qhim nor you, he growls and slams his hips into you. Your breasts bounce and hands leave his horns and slide down his face and onto his chest. You cup his chest, fingers pressing into him and grazing over the white tattoos that adorn him.

A sharp sting rings through your clit and makes you jerk, crying out a mess of his name. He huffs and his wings move towards you, the bat-like wing fluttering and ghosting over your leg, curling inward when they make contact with your skin.

“Fucking demons getting near you,” his teeth are bared, teeth glistening and deadly, “you’re mine. All mine and if I have to put you in a collar and leash, I fuckin’ will.” His words are rushed, spitting out as he moves inside of your velvety walls. “Maybe then they’d all learn their place and stay the fuck away.”

You mewl at his words, eyes misty as he gives another slap to your sensitive pearl. He’s pitiless with his slaps, making sure that you cry, every slap increasing in intensity and making your toes curl while he edges closer to his high.

His hands slip between yours and he pinches hardly at your nipples, twisting them in hand as you arch your back and loll out your tongue. You clench tighter around him, pulling taut on his cock and you beg for release from him.

“Gonna fill you with my cum babe. Let all those demons fuckin’ smell me on you. Your tits are gonna be full of milk and fuck, every” he pushes himself deeper in you, “last demon,” he breaths hot air onto your collarbone, spit dribbling past his mouth and coating you, “is gonna know you belong to me.” He pushes himself deep in you and his cock twitches and jerks. He keeps his head down, feeling your orgasm wash over him and spill out of you; his own cock squirting his seed into you, his shaft plunged deep as to not let a single drop go to waste. He whispers out your name, and slowly, he pulls back, hissing at the sensitivity and your hands fall from his chest and rest over yours that bloom a shade deeper due to his previous abuse. When his seed threatens to spill, he plunges his digits inside and pats at your hips when you tense and close your legs. He wipes the excess of his load on your inner thighs and gives a chaste kiss to your twitching pearl.

With a shaky hand, you touch your neck and whine at the contact. “Mammon, you left marks.”

“Maybe it’ll make everyone back off.” He tosses you a grin and with a pop of his neck, his horns and wings disappear. “They make you look cute anyways.”

You roll your eyes. “I’m glad you enjoy them at least.”

He gives your thigh a sharp slap. “Damn right I do.”

[dadsbongos]

Brother’s Keeper

Movie/Game/Show: The Boy Dynamic: Brahms Heelshire/Reader (Platonic) Warnings: idk The Veldt spoilers if you’ve never read it (it’s really fucking good), the parents suck and they’re emotionally manipulative Summary: Brahms likes to play with his baby sister. ~~~

“What a pouty little face you have,” Mrs. Heelshire pinched at her daughter’s cheeks, stretching them upward, “Come on, let me see a smile.”

(Y/n) swatted at her mother’s hands, “I don’t want to.”

Brahms adjusted his tie as best he could for the family picture, letting his father take over after a minute of fumbling, “She’s not going to smile; little brat.”

“Hey!” the three-year-old girl whined, lips pulling into an even deeper pout, “You can’t be mean and the birthday boy at the same time, it’s not fair!”

The boy rolled his eyes, “You’re just upset your birthday isn't for five more months.”

~~

“I’m seven, I’m too old for dolls,” (Y/n) muttered, not wanting to mention why exactly she didn’t want the porcelain doll, “Besides, he’s too fragile, if I drop him he’ll die.”

Death was a new fascination with the young girl after the incident. Though, to be fair, most fascinations didn’t last four years nor did they start with the horrific death of your older brother.

“Nonsense,” her father grinned, taking the doll from his wife and holding it out to his young daughter, “he was Brahms’ favorite.”

Brahms was a word that had become similar to “fuck” in the parents’ minds. Off-limits by the punishment of spanking or grounding unless you were one of them.

“Oh,” she murmured, carefully taking the toy and holding it to her side, “I never saw him play with it…”

“Too scared to break the poor thing,” Mrs. Heelshire reasoned easily enough, “Named after him.”

(Y/n) looked at the glassy object, “Why do I need to have him?”

“You’re going to take care of him, Brahms would want you to,” Mr. Heelshire brushed the girl’s hair from her forehead before leaving a small kiss to the patch of skin, “Be good to him, sweetheart, won’t you?”

Mrs. Heelshire nodded from behind her husband, “You wouldn’t want to disappoint Brahms, would you?”

She glanced between her pleading parents and the doll, pursing her lips before hesitantly nodding, “Alright, I guess…”

~~

By the time 1999 rolled around and the only living Heelshire child was to turn eleven, there were no more friends to play in the house with. Emily, who in many ways had been an older sister to the girl, was murdered by some sick monster who lit the playhouse she was inside on fire. Well, maybe the killer didn’t light the playhouse on fire.

“You’re three, how are you going to take it from me?”

Instead, (Y/n) was left to play with her doll. With a party hat on her head, courtesy of the new grocery boy, Malcolm, she wandered aimlessly through the halls. Birthdays were no longer a celebration in the manor; unless it was Brahms’, of course. She held the doll to her hip, looking at the series of paintings decorating the wall; most of them portraying her big brother.

She frowned, settling a hand on the wall just below the largest mural in the hall. Her fingers brushed upon a small crevice dip in the split of colors in the striped wallpaper, brows furrowing at the ledge. She curled her fingers around it, beginning to pull when suddenly it popped apart from the wall. A panel opening up in the middle of the hallway, she looked down each end before climbing through.

Her eyes adjusted quickly enough, arms squeezing Brahms tighter to her form. She began creeping down the secret passageway, not noticing the sounds of her parents screaming her name.

A sudden turn and she took it. A curve in the path and she rounded it. Losing herself in the hidden walkways within her home. It was only when she realized how lost she was that panic settled in, “Mama…?”

She held Brahms even tighter, freehand leaving the doll to bang on the interior of the wall, “Papa! Mama?!” 

It was half an hour before the panicking parents found their weeping little girl hidden behind a panel close to the fireplace. She was crying into the sweater on her doll, cheeks heated in the force of her tears. Not even Mr. Heelshire’s gentle hugging and cooing could relieve her of the emotional aches.

“You’re to never go in those walls again, do you hear me?” her mother grit through clenched teeth.

Never? As much as (Y/n) wanted to be on board with the idea, she wasn’t sure about never being able to go in again. Maybe… maybe she just had to be older, more mature - yeah - that sounded about right.

“Just once more,” she immediately calmed down, now speaking through a raspy, whiny post-crying voice, “I won’t get lost this time, I promise.”

Mr. Heelshire looked over to his wife, “Just one more couldn’t hurt, she should learn about the walls, shouldn’t she?”

As soon as the words left her husband’s lips, Mrs. Heelshire shook her head, “Not a chance. Haven’t you read The Veldt? That’s how the parents die.”

(Y/n)’s eyes widened, glancing between her parents as tears began springing into the surface, “You guys will die if I go in the walls again?”

Neither parent confirmed it, though they didn’t deny it either, before sending her off to bed with Brahms. Leaving her to question what the walls were in the dark solitude of her lavish bedroom; empty winnings for a girl who felt guilty enjoying them.

~~

By fifteen, there was an influx of nannies coming in and out of the Heelshire home to care for a supposedly haunted doll. She wasn’t sure if she believed it but the messes and thumping and flickering lights were beginning to be too much to ignore. They all started after the wall incident - the second incident she could add to her fault - and she was forbidden from going back inside.

Panels were left open and soft, high-pitched whines ringing from behind them; it was more terrifying than alluring. 

With no more Brahms by her side, in the real body or in doll form, (Y/n) was left to wander aimlessly down the halls thinking about how unfair it was of her parents to rip the doll away from her. All due to the walls’ tunnels.

They handed her a memento to her older brother - they used her guilt; her fault against her - just to steal it away eight years later. She hated her parents for it, no, not her parents. Her mother. Mrs. Heelshire barely even let the nannies do their job half the time, she just wanted Brahms all to herself. She gave that doll a surplus of her attention and countless replacement caretakers and never even gave (Y/n) the acknowledgment of their shared grief.

Barely gave her the mind to say, “It’s not your fault.”

Whipping around at the frail whisper, (Y/n) peeked around every visible inch of the hallway to see if one of the nannies was following her or her father was finally ready to free her of guilt. Yet nobody was there, no mouths to whisper and no audible drafts to blame.

She turned back around and continued walking down the hallway, not as alone as before.

~~

“I’m nineteen, don’t you think I should, I don’t know, explore the real world?”

Mrs. Heelshire simply shook her head, “You can’t leave us!”

“I won’t be leaving!” (Y/n) tossed her arms out in a display of exaggeration, “I just can’t be in this house for the rest of my life!”

“So you will go eventually,” the older woman huffed, crossing her arms, “Brahms and now you.”

That made the teenager freeze. Nothing like the mention of her dead brother to make her question herself. She pulled back from the yelling match to judge and critique every inch of herself. Her leaving the nest wasn’t comparable to dying - and Brahms didn’t abandon them, he couldn’t control the flames. It wasn’t like he purposefully lit the playhouse on fire at his own birthday party.

No, but she could’ve stopped it. She knows she could have.

“That’s not fair,” (Y/n) muttered, though it sounded less like a genuine response and more like she was trying to point it out to herself.

“You know what else isn’t fair?”

“Don’t.”

“Having two kids and the only one alive wants to abandon you.”

Mr. Heelshire watched from the kitchen table, sipping on his afternoon tea quietly to give more space for the sound of his wife and daughter’s argument to permeate through the room. Through the room and into the walls where even the biggest rat hiding inside could hear.

(Y/n) rubbed at her arm, regretting her decision to even bring the topic up, “I’m sorry…”

“Oh, honey,” Mrs. Heelshire cooed, cupping her daughter’s cheeks and pulling at any fat her fingers could get to in the pockets, “It’s okay. Don’t be so pouty, it’s alright.”

She didn’t bother pushing her mother’s hands away this time.

~~

(Y/n) silently dipped her paintbrush into a dollop of vibrant, cherry red on her palette, glancing over her canvas to the muse every so often.

A house can appear incredibly eased and soothed from the frontline and nobody would ever know that inside a family of four was being murdered. They wouldn’t know until the corpses were discovered and the extended family was beating at each other. Vultures flocking to the values left to them by death.

Maria, the newest in the line of nannies, was holding position rather well for somebody who’d never modeled before. Clutching Brahms to her hip with a bright, pearly-toothed smile.

“I saw a few of your works around the house earlier,” the black-haired woman spoke, “Impressive for only twenty-three.”

“Thanks,” (Y/n) strained a grin, she didn’t necessarily prefer silence - you could hear the walls whispering when it was silent - but sadly, her focus wavered with noise, “I just like to paint the nannies; don’t like to forget them so quickly.”

“Oh,” Maria awkwardly chuckled, “well, that sounds nice of you…?”

“Just a personal thing,” the young woman shrugged off before catching something in the frame of her eye, “You’re about to drop Brahms.”

“Shit!” the other woman murmured, readjusting the doll in her arms, “Thank you so much.”

“My mom will go crazy, I don’t want to watch her yell at somebody over nothing,” she pursed her lips, “Not nothing; just something small.”

~~

“Are you serious?” (Y/n) narrowed her eyes at her mother, “You and Dad are leaving for a two-month vacation right before my birthday?”

“You’re turning twenty-eight, dear,” Mrs. Heelshire smiled faintly, “I think you’ll be fine, now if you don’t mind, I’ll go downstairs and teach the new nanny how to properly care for Brahms.”

(Y/n) crossed her arms, watching her father continue to pack his bags, “You’re really just letting her drag you out of town right now?”

“She didn’t drag me into anything, honey,” he sighed, whether he knew how much it hurt her feelings to hear that or not didn’t exactly matter.

“Fuck you,” she grumbled, rushing out of the room and down the stairs, the twenty-seven-year-old woman went into her bedroom, fully prepared to ignore her parents and the new nanny. Blissfully unaware of the pest in her walls, watching with sad eyes and wanting to see her smile.

~~

“Knock it off!” (Y/n) cried out to the man swinging the doll around - a protective instinct burning at her gut as she thought of him breaking it. She immediately regretted the harsh tone when Cole’s furious gaze snapped back to her, “Please… just give him back…”

“Watch it,” Cole threatened, holding the doll further away from her than before, “Pull any funny shit and I’ll break in your pretty little face.”

Yet another mistake against the brute, not that anybody but the secret rat was counting. The first, of course, being his arrival. The last, naturally, was bashing the doll’s head against the lip of a seat.

(Y/n) hiccuped wildly, her burst of tears nearly choking her as Cole shushed the room during one of Brahms’ fits. She’d experienced countless ragers with that doll to blame but this was the worst. Cole put a finger to his lips, commanding the people behind him into silence as he went to the wall, knocking a few times with his ear pressed to it. He went to the mirror next, grinning slightly, “There’s something- “

Before he could finish his sentence, the glass burst apart and forced him onto his back.

As Greta screamed and (Y/n) held her head in her hands in the midst of her hysterics, Malcolm called to the two women.

Large hands pulled onto the mirror frame first, then out came a fully grown man. Brahms Heelshire was alive - and he was big.

(Y/n) fell onto her ass, watching as her previously dead big brother stabbed Colt in the neck with a piece of his broken doll. Brahms lunged for Greta only to be beaten down by Malcolm and when the two were away; (Y/n) did not leave.

She crawled over to his sprawled out form, taking his shoulder into her hands and shaking him slightly, “Brahms…?”

He jerked once - then twice, then pushed himself up, taking a moment to look at his little sister before standing. In a fashion similar to when they used to sneak around the manor as children, he pressed a finger to his mask’s lips before running off.

~~

“I came back for you, Brahms.”

(Y/n) fiddled with her fingers as her older brother was swept upstairs by Greta, following after them like a lost puppy. As Greta pulled back the covers, (Y/n) felt her heart thump wildly in her chest.

Of course, it never helped when he threw a woman across the room.

“Brahms!” (Y/n) shrieked, latching onto her brother’s back and attempting to pull him off Greta, only succeeding when he fell back from his own stab wound.

Greta stopped at the doorway, turning to watch as the Heelshire girl cradled her big brother’s head in her hands in her panic-rich state, “(Y/n), come on. We have to go.”

Looking between Greta and her brother, (Y/n) felt the memories creep back up from the dip of her spine.

“Is that Papa’s lighter?”

Emily nodded slightly as Brahms watched the flame flicker, the little boy speaking up first, “I was interested in it, I’m sure he won’t mind.”

(Y/n) clutched at a lock of her own hair, “You better give it back or I’ll take it myself!”

“You’re three, how are you going to take it from me?” he scoffed before shooing her out of the playhouse, “If you tell Dad, I’ll break all your toys and cut up your dresses.”

She hadn’t told Father - she didn’t take the lighter.

Shaking her head, (Y/n) looked back to her older brother, burn scars on the visible half of his face and suddenly the guilt was rising to her throat again. Her hands smoothed over to the clasp of the mask, carefully unclipping it as Greta ran off to find Malcolm. A wicked sob racked her throat, her voice squeaking up soft and whiny, “I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…”

A hand came up to brush her tears away, Brahms watching his little sister continue to cry, a small, childlike voice peeking through his lips, “Please don’t cry, (Y/n)… I don’t want to see you cry…”

Calming down only slightly, (Y/n) helped her brother sit up, “I’ll stay, I’m sorry.”

Brahms continued to watch his sister’s tears spill, “You’ll stay.”

It wasn’t a question, he barely even bothered to disguise it as such.

“I’ll stay…”

She didn’t really have a choice, not when her parents kept her under lock and key so strictly. But maybe they anticipated Brahms coming back; maybe they wanted her to have no independence so she wouldn’t leave her big brother.

Not that she’d be able to ask them.

[chalkrevelations]

Word of Honor, Episode 30. STILL A LOT. This one got long.

(Spoilers. Scroll away and come back later, if you need to.)

Yeah, so, A-Xiang and I are crying again. At least they’re good, cathartic tears, this time? Poor Cao Weining – he continues trying to make sense of all this (It’s all a misunderstanding, right? My good friend Wen Kexing was framed, right? He can’t possibly be the terrifying master of the Ghost Valley, and you can’t possibly be his henchwoman, right?), but nothing he knew is true anymore. Nothing except his faith in A-Xiang. I know you’re good, he tells her. I won’t fail you. And they do make this explicit here, with him saying, “I made a promise I will never fail you in my life, not even once.” I’m flailing on the couch, at this point. Come here, my little cinnamon roll, and let me squeeze the stuffing out of you. And oh. Oh. It just hit me that a girl who was raised by the Department of the Unfaithful (as well as WKX) has found a man who will vow this to her and mean it. Also, I don’t know if this is the closest we’re going to get to this theme made explicit with Zhou Zishu and Wen Kexing, but Cao Weining and Gu Xiang continue to act as proxy here for the m/m couple that has to be more circumspect. (Also, I would compare the way this promise, spoken out loud, bookends this ep – Cao Weining’s heart once again offered here, at the beginning, and the undertones of betrayal in Xie Wang’s words to Zhao Jing at the end, but we’ll get to Xie’er in a bit.)

Digging into our continuing parallels, I said a bit back - Ep 26? sometime before Wen Kexing’s identity had the ultimate reveal in the confrontation with Ye Baiyi, at least - that Zhou Zishu was beyond “you don’t fail me and I won’t fail you” into “even if you do fail me, I won’t fail you.” That’s where Cao Weining is now, knowing (finally) what A-Xiang’s been hiding from him, as ZZS knew about the Ghost Valley even before it was actually spoken out loud. Even if A-Xiang is there to infiltrate his sect, even if she’s helped cause all this death, Cao Weining will follow her into death and reincarnate with her to stay with her and protect her forever. (Ugh. My heart. Cao-dage, how are you like this?) Last ep, watching WKX’s frantic efforts to save Han Ying, I think there was some callback to the Four Sages of Anji, but I also pointed to what I saw as a callback to the paired conversations in Eps 22/23, when Cao Weining tells A-Xiang to be more careful because he knows she’ll feel bad if she kills an innocent accidentally, and ZZS tells WKX he’s trying to protect him from more sins on his hands. This ep, there’s a literal flashback to that Cao Weining/Gu Xiang conversation in Ep 22. I also want to go back to the interminable infodump in the Longyuan Cabinet cave in Eps 19/20, where - similar to Cao Weining finally learning and accepting who A-Xiang is in this ep - Zhou Zishu has finally put together all (well, most) of the pieces, and he makes it clear that he knows (at least part of) who WKX is by calling him “Zhen Yan” to his face. The color palettes for the two couples match in these scenes – slightly more saturated and intense for the older couple, but lavender for WKX and A-Xiang, blue for ZSS and Cao Weining; we also have an enthusiastic hug that’s met by a hesitant response. Although roles are reversed in the hug – A-Xiang hugging Cao Weining, ZZS hugging WKX - the way they shot Cao Weining’s response in this ep, hesitant hands finally going around A-Xiang’s back, is almost exactly the same framing and movements as WKX’s response to ZZS’s hug in Ep 20 (7:37 in Ep 20, 9:00 in Ep 30). I’m just sayin’.

Also, I might or might not have rewound three times to watch Cao Weining wipe the tears off A-Xiang’s face and her responding radiant smile. You can’t prove anything.

The other big parallel I see in this ep is a return to the ZZS/Prince Jin and Xie Wang/Zhao Jing relationships. Everyone is telling their creepy gaslighting mentor/parent figures to fuck off in this episode, apparently. (We even (kind of) get to see WKX do this, seeing the scene of him in the aftermath of killing the past master of Ghost Valley in flashback as A-Xiang tells her tale to Cao Weining). I have to think it’s not just coincidence that the ZZS/Prince Jin and Xie’er/Awful Yifu confrontations play out in the same ep. Not to mention the fact that both happen in the middle of a big fk’n mess, lit. and fig., that ZZS and Xie’er have made of not just their physical surroundings, but their Awful Prince’s/Yifu’s plans.

So, first off, we cut to Bad-Touch Prince Jin. I knew it, you creepster (and ZZS knew it too!). And yet, I still cannot believe you. You kidnap him, try to kill everyone in Four Seasons Manor for the second time around, burn his house, plan to get him drunk and take advantage of him, lit. and fig., and now you’re fondling his sword? Eurgh. There’s definitely an air of “bathe him, dress him, and bring him to my chambers” with ZZS at the beginning of this scene, even if we’re actually in the throne room and not any bedchamber (not that I don’t also enjoy the leather bracers-updo-evil collar look on ZZS, so I’ll give Prince Jin points for good taste, at least). Prince Jin pulls out the poor yifu prince card, because it’s lonely being in charge, you know. And now, we’re back to how could you leave me. Aaaaand then, he blows off Han Ying (Han Ying!), the last sort-of vestige of ZZS’s Four Seasons shidi, and oh, boy. You done fk’ed up now.

So, I love how clearly done with all this ZZS is, from the first minute we see him this ep. I keep hearing this role was a departure from Zhang Zhehan’s norm, and while I plan to check out some of his earlier work, I’m honestly glad I got to see him first in this. I hope it opens up some more doors for him. I keep being struck at various moments by his physicality as Zhou Zishu, which has a weight behind it that just … ah. I keep failing to put it into words, but it gives a substance to the character that makes ZZS feel real, and it’s not particularly in his big action fighting scenes that it keeps hitting me, like you might expect when it’s something about the way he moves and carries himself. I started turning this over in my head last week, when I talked about how I felt that shout at WKX in the wake of the fight with Ye Baiyi in Ep 27, moreso than any of the other various shouty characters we’ve met in the show, even when their yelling is louder and more sustained. There was something visceral about ZZH’s performance in that moment. It reminded me of an earlier scene when Wen Kexing’s been drunk under the table by Ye Baiyi but insists that he’s fine, just fine, and Zhou Zishu, who’s trying to make him go to bed, makes a feint at him and then hits him on the shoulder. (Hold on … I just went and found it, it’s at 37:19 in Ep 17.) Not just the hit, but particularly the feint preceding it struck me the same way Ep 27’s shout did. It’s something that maybe comes through strongest when ZZH is doing leashed anger, where the character’s raw emotion is simultaneously supposed to be controlled but leaking through – that contrast seems to showcase what I’m talking about. Or maybe not just anger, but any really strong emotion, because I got it in this ep, among other places, from the little lip tremble as ZZS drinks some of the wine before he pours one out for his dead homies, as well as from the way he works his jaw to get himself back under control after bringing up all his dead shidi. Also the tiny lip quirk and deliberate breathing while Prince Jin disparages Han Ying. (Not the snarl when he’s faced off with Prince Jin holding his sword blade right before the cheesy cut to close-up split-screen, though. That one didn’t hit right, unfortunately.) ANYWAY, this whole throne room scene with Prince Jin is basically porn for me, with ZZS simmering the entire time until he finally breaks and everything explodes. God, the only thing it’s missing is actual tears.

Cut from the scene of ZZS literally striking back at Prince Jin to what’s going to be – at least it looks like – Xie Wang’s breaking point. Xie’er and his henchwomen seem genuinely surprised that Awful Yifu is the one who shows up as reinforcement for the Gentle Wind Sword Sect, and I’m still trying to untangle all the various strings of this web. I don’t know if I’ve missed some things, or not put something together properly – I feel like Cao Weining, all “Slow down, I can’t keep up!” Anyway, we get a very public repudiation of Xie’er by his Awful Yifu, which is interesting because nobody is supposed to know they’re connected in the first place, right? Yet, clearly Mo Huaiyang does, and no one in his sect – all of them standing around in the subsequent cave scene - seem to react with any kind of shock to the info that Zhao Jing is Xie’er’s yifu. Aren’t we supposed to be hiding this from everyone? So that not only the jianghu but Prince Jin doesn’t know it (yet)? Anyway, as well as getting slapped, Xie’er gets a couple of places with good little maniacal laughs in. Given the apparent surprise at Awful Yifu’s appearance, I’m assuming this was something Xie Wang really didn’t expect, and this public repudiation is the breaking point? Or that Awful Yifu hid this alliance from him? Not that this attack on the Gentle Wind Sword Sect was part of a deliberate long-game to fuck over his Awful Yifu by fucking up this alliance? Anyway, Xie’er has learned his lesson about his Awful Yifu – or at least he says he has - so maybe there will be some deliberate fuckery of Awful Yifu going forward from here? Have you learned your lesson, little gambler? Finally?

I do have to warn you, Xie Wang: Do not touch A-Xiang. This is a hard limit. You will be dead to me.

Scattered other things:

Duan Pengju, omg, this asshole. I love how he just gets dismissed from the throne room like a lackey once he’s delivered the guy Prince Jin actually wants. I love how ZZS says, out loud, with everyone in the throne room to hear it, why would I leave this loser in charge of anyone I cared about? I looooove how utterly dismissive of him ZZS is even as ZZS is literally being tortured by him. ZZS’s mockery and whole air of how he’s just ever so bored with all this torture is delightful. However, I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’RE ENDING THE EPISODE THERE, SHOW. I’m going to have to wait until at least Thursday to find out what happens??? (This is d/t work schedule, which is 12-hour shifts on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, leaving no time to watch as the next eps upload, if I want to sleep).

I don’t know if this is deliberate, but when we cut to sleeping Wen Kexing near the beginning of the ep … we’ve just seen him in his very red robes as Ghost Valley master in A-Xiang’s flashbacks, and I notice that what he’s wearing now – it’s not the pinkie pink of the robe he wore to match the winter plum blossom forest, but it’s not blood red, either. It’s muted, something in-between, kind of salmon colored.

Bwahaha, dying at our two little foodies in the cave being the first ones to say “Hey, somebody’s cooking something!” Also, A-Xiang, my clever girl. You know to avoid letting Xie Wang or Zhao Jing (or Liu Qianqiao?) see you. What are you putting together in your head and coming up with about this tangled web of alliances? Also, I see you call Cao-dage over to your hiding spot. Are the two of you still there to hear the conversation between Zhao Jing and Mo Huaiyang, and how Mo Huaiyang and Zhao Jing are working together with the Scorpions and the Ghost Valley?

Last but not least, no intention to leave Jin Palace alive, ZZS? I seem to recall you telling your boyfriend, the terrifying master of the Ghost Valley, that there would be time for him to rescue you once he woke up from his nap. Is it possible you were lying so he wouldn’t feel bad? Mn. Possible. But I also remember the way you yelled at WKX over his plan to get himself killed and leave you alone, and I remember the fact that you won’t fail him, and I have to wonder if your plan really was to die, or if you’re bluffing when you say that to Prince Jin.

[dazaii-sann]

DAZAI x CHUUYA FANFICTION: ONE-SHOT [LOVE OR GUILT]

Blue.

Brown.

Green.

Yellow.

Orange.

Varied colors blended with each other like a 24-color palette. The wind blew from the west, causing the nearby tree leaves to dance along with the non-existent beat. The blue, clear water rampaged in silence, creating an almost seemingly soft serenade. A huge shining orb in the distance was split in half, projecting its reflection on the calm, unmoving water from below.

The whole place is quiet as if every single living soul had already vacated the area.

Well, not quite.

Two figures stood beneath a tree's shadow, taking refuge and solace after a whole day of struggles. The calm, light afternoon breeze soothe their souls as they look at the orange-painted sky.

Silence ensues but for them, it's what they need.

The quiet rage of the sea.

The hushing sound of overlapping leaves.

The way the remaining rays of the dusk kiss their flesh.

The sound of their even breathing.

Sounds romantic, right?

It is, except for one thing.

Everything, everything seems to retain its brilliance but something decided to exclude itself from that small band of glow.

A redhead's eyes… It's empty. The very exact opposite to his surrounding's radiance.

Meanwhile, the brunet beside him stood still, unmoving, as if he's already accustomed to that kind of scenario.

But is he?

No. Definitely not. Not in a million years.

Seeing his ex-partner like that made his knees wobble. All the remaining courage in his body had left him that even panning his head to Chuuya became an impossible task.

The guilt is slowly consuming him, pulling him into a world far more hellish than hell itself.

They stayed like that for a while, the stillness of the setting sun completely vanished into existence and was dethroned by a huge dark blanket covered with stars. The moon is in its crescent form, seems incomplete but whole all the same.

The coldness of the night embraced the two up to their bones, causing them to shiver.

"It's getting cold, Chuuya. Let's go inside?" The brunet proposed without looking at Chuuya.

He can't. Or maybe he actually can, but he chose not to.

Chuuya nods his head slightly and Dazai saw that movement from his eyes' corners.

Dazai's feet move in front of Chuuya's rear. With a slight push, the wheels on Chuuya's seat were sent into motion, carrying Chuuya's body along with it. Trails of the redhead's wheelchair and the brunet's footprints were engraved in the shore's sand and were immediately erased by the wave's arrival.

In just a few minutes, they reached a small house built near the shore. From its size, one can conclude that its interior can only shelter two people at once.

Upon entering the house, Dazai turned on the lights that he closed before going outside with Chuuya this afternoon. It has a simple structure. A kitchen, two couches and a table in between them, the comfort room, and a shared bedroom.

Dazai carefully lifts Chuuya's body and transfer it to one of the couches.

"You're so light, Chuuya~ Am I not feeding you well?" Dazai tried to annoy Chuuya like he used to back in the days but the redhead's expressions didn't even change. Not even a single move in his facial muscles. The brunet knew from the very start, that he could no longer hear Chuuya's annoyed response coming from his own mouth but he's still hoping, hoping that he could still hear Chuuya's voice one more time.

Chuuya's just like a lump of flesh without a soul inside of it. It is said that the soul is the trigger of an ability.

Maybe that's the exact reason why Chuuya lost his.

Ah no… There's no one to be blamed but Dazai.

Or at least, that's what he thought.

After moving Chuuya in a comfortable position, Dazai left him and went straight to the kitchen.

Dazai was a bad cook. Everyone must ready their pitiful stomach before taking in Dazai's food. Not only that but for the aftermath (puking included). But who would eat those kinds of stuff (can't consider them as "food") in the first place?

Everything changed when he started to live and take care of Chuuya over the past 3 years. He learned how to prepare varied homemade viands. Well, he doesn't want the redhead to eat canned goods every single day!

Dazai turned on the flame and let the ingredients fly and land on the pan's heated surface. He hummed a familiar tune, hoping that Chuuya might remember its tune but to no avail.

Dazai arranged the food into a plate and went to the redhead, utensils in his other hand.

Without a word, he scooped a spoonful and brought it closer to Chuuya's mouth.

"Say ah~"

If anyone could see this kind of scenario, the brunet looks like he's feeding a 3-month old baby.

"Well, he's indeed a baby," Dazai said at the back of his mind while moving the spoon back and forth.

After that dinner, Dazai once again carried Chuuya to their bed. It's not that big, but not too small. Just enough for the two of them.

Dazai then wrapped his arms around Chuuya's body. To give him warmth, a human's warmth to liberate the coldness of the night.

With the brunet's slender arms encircled around the redhead's body, and Chuuya's head leaning against Dazai's shoulder, they fall asleep.

Almost at the same time.

 ***

 For three years, the very same sequence of events happened.

Watching the sunrise and sunset together.

Helping him to eat his own food.

And then finally, cradling each other until they got consumed by the God of Sleep.

Have they grown tired of it, especially Dazai?

Even he doesn't know the answer. He was known as the Demon Prodigy of the Port Mafia, someone who can see through everything. But why can't his superior, almost inhumane mind comprehend this feeling of longing?

Longing for what?

Is it for the return of his ex-partner's glory or the longing to return to his old life?

Maybe, but maybe not.

Dazai thought that the same exact happenings will happen again for today, and the days after that.

But he's wrong.

On with their usual routine, they watch the sun's tiny movement, trying to pull itself up higher in the sky as if it's trying to assert dominance and power. Somehow, the sunrise resembles Dazai every time he rose to bed, struggling his way up like he was being pulled down by the Earth's gravity. To make it less fancy, he's just simply lazy.

"C-chuuya… Is that you?"

Dazai froze, literally.

T-that voice…

Dazai panned his head to where the sound originated.

"A-ane…san…"

Kouyou smiled, but there's hidden remorse in it. The intensity of her eyes changed the moment it landed on Chuuya's frail body.

She looked away and face the brunet once more.

"It's been a while, demon."

 ***

 "So… You're still taking care of him?" Kouyou sat in one of the couches inside of their house.

"Mm…" A simple nod is the only response that he could offer. He's not in the right mood to entertain a conversation right now, especially to those with whom he had ties.

Despite his seemingly uninterested remarks, he's still on the lookout. Who knows? Kouyou might try to do something funny. As for Chuuya, he doubts that this woman will do such a thing.

"I see… I see…" At the same time, a mocking laugh escaped out of her lips. Dazai, on the other hand, painted confusion throughout his face.

"It's all your fault anyway. You've got to clean your own mess and atone with what you had done."

Dazai clenched his fist as tightly as he could.

"Why are you still taking care of him?"

Dazai's lips went agape, trying to utter a word or two but failed miserably.

Why then? What keeps him from escaping and leaving Chuuya behind?

He doesn't know.

"I…"

"Do you love him?" Kouyou's question streak kept on bugging Dazai's feelings.

Dazai's so sure of that fact not until Kouyou retorted once more.

"Or is it because of guilt?"

Guilt, huh?

The brunet said no more and silence governed the two of them.

"Now demon… Which one is it?"

 ***

 Darkness… Just pure darkness…

Or at least, that's what Chuuya sees.

He can't feel anything, nor grasp reality. He's just there, floating in the middle of nothingness. But amidst that abyss, he can feel his bones cracking, his body collapsing, and his blood leaking out of his system. The pain must be immeasurable and unbearable but none of those physical pains can equal his suffering.

He hates the dark, the emptiness because it always made him feel alone.

He can hear a huge crowd of people screaming at the top of their lungs as if their lives are in danger of death.

Yes, that's actually the case.

They're fleeing, away from the young boy in the middle of that immense object and that enemy he's battling against.

Their abilities clashed and the fiery battle caused a deal of damage to the establishments and facilities in the city, but Chuuya came out victorious. Yokohama is safe once again. The civilians already evacuated, thus no casualties recorded.

Everything's fine now.

But Chuuya's still not.

He's on his limit, and his rampage will continue up to the end of his life.

He had already accepted his fate, that corruption will disappear along with his existence but a bandaged hand tamed him.

But it's already late.

Chuuya got hospitalized after that. His life was saved, but his nervous system was badly affected.

Dazai couldn't help but blame himself. He was doing a lot of paper works at the armed detective agency's office (forced by Kunikida of course) but the unexpected foe barged its way to Yokohoma without even knocking.

That's why he's late to arrive at the scene.

Why did Chuuya activate his corrupted form without him?

He's such an idiot, an utter idiot…

But he's far worse than that.

 ***

 "Chuuya~ Let's go outside?" Dazai asked his ex-partner but the latter shook his head weakly, much to the former's surprise. It's the first time Chuuya declined his invitation.

Instead of going outside, Chuuya points his finger to their room's direction, by which, Dazai understood and followed. Maybe Chuuya is just sick of watching the sun's routinary motion every day or he just wants to rest.

To ease his boredom, Dazai cooked for their supper, but a creaking sound came out from Chuuya's location.

Dazai dropped the spatula in hand and sprinted to their bedroom only to find Chuuya scribbling something on a small piece of paper. Because of his malfunctioning muscles, the pen he used created a noise as it dropped on the floor.

"Chuuya? What are you doi-" Dazai is stopped dead in his tracks the moment he saw the letters inscribed on his paper. Beside the redhead is a small calendar with eighteen days crossed out for the month of June.

Today's June 19. Dazai's birthday.

"Ha…" Chuuya struggled to say something with his shivering and shaky voice. "Ha…ppy bir-th-da…y, sh-itt…y mac…ke-rel."

Dazai's heart starts to pound harder as if it wants to leap out of his ribcage. His head feels so fuzzy, but light at the time.

What's this feeling…?

Sadness?

Happiness?

Longing?

But Dazai knew that it's more than that.

"Now demon… Which one is it?"

"Ane-san… I already know the answer." He said at the back of his mind before embracing the redhead. He leaned closer to the former executive's ear and whispered, "Thank you, chibi."

Chuuya might not be able to restore his condition the way it once was but for Dazai, that doesn't matter now.

Whether Chuuya the petite mafia executive who kept on bickering with him back in the days or the Chuuya who's struggling to write a single sentence of greeting over a sheet of paper… Dazai's always fond of him, whatever the version.

And that will not change until the end of time.

-END-

[higans]

𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬.

1. 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙙𝙤𝙚𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙢𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙨𝙢𝙚𝙡𝙡 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚?

chamomile, mainly. she’s not one to usually wear perfume so any scent might have is mainly from body wash and therefore pretty light and hard to detect.

2. 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙙𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙢𝙪𝙨𝙚’𝙨 𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙨 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚?

much like the prevailing sterotype of a doctor’s hands. they’re rather cold but in a way that’s soothing. like a cold glass of water on a really hot summer day soothing! as with every other part of her, she takes exceptional care of her hands in order for them to maintain their softness.

3. 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙙𝙤𝙚𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙢𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙪𝙨𝙪𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙚𝙖𝙩 𝙞𝙣 𝙖 𝙙𝙖𝙮?

whatevers easiest to cook if she has to make her own food. it’s a well known through that korin isn’t the worlds best cook (until she’s actually taught) so more often than not she has to rely on pre-made or take out food. that being said she eats pretty healthy. she mainly adheres to a pescitarian/vegatarian diet as that’s one she was raised on but will on very rare occasions eat meat.

4. 𝙙𝙤𝙚𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙢𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙖 𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙫𝙤𝙞𝙘𝙚?

it’s hard to tell because korin isn’t exactly one to sing and especially not around other’s. plus, her voice is exceptionally soft and it’s pretty difficult to carry a tune while all but whispering. however, i feel like if she did sing, it would be similar to this. very airy and almost more ... talk singing than anything else.

5. 𝙙𝙤𝙚𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙢𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙮 𝙗𝙖𝙙 𝙝𝙖𝙗𝙞𝙩𝙨 𝙤𝙧 𝙣𝙚𝙧𝙫𝙤𝙪𝙨 𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙠𝙨?

korin, despite, or perhaps due to her ability to read people exceptionally well, is quick to judge someone upon first meeting. because of her mistreatment at the hands of her peers during her younger years it became something of a defense mechanism in order to avoid being hurt. in her mind if she can anticpate exactly how someone is and thus figure out how they may be able to hurt her, she can avoid them. it’s something she works on a lot once she hits her late teens / early twenties.

as for nervous tick ... everything she does is a nervous tick. the poor girl has anxiety KFDLGHF no but i guess a more specific one (and one that stays with her even as she gets older) is fiddling/messing with the ends of her hair in order to distract herself.

6. 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙙𝙤𝙚𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙢𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙪𝙨𝙪𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙡𝙤𝙤𝙠 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 / 𝙬𝙚𝙖𝙧?

whatever she finds cute at the time. korin has no set style and doesn’t try to adhere to one either. on any given day she can be seen wearing completely different styles. for colors though neutral tones are most common but again, she doesn’t limit herself to just one palette. 

she could, to a slight degree, be considered conservative in her fashion as she prefers to wear tops with high necks or collars as she tends to be uncomfortable showing her chest on most days. however this isn’t a hard or fast rule she sticks to by any means. it really depends on the day and how she’s feeling about her body. some are better than others. she’s more than comfortable showing off her legs though.

7. 𝙞𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙢𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙖𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙖𝙩𝙚?   𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙢𝙪𝙘𝙝?   𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙨𝙤?

excessively! korin is an extremely physically affectionate person. to the point where it might be a bit ... overbearing for people that aren’t used to that or aren’t into that sort of thing. it’s just something that naturally started to manifest as a way of showing her love as she began to realize verbalizing it just wasn’t possible for her. however, she’s aware of herself enough to know where lines are drawn and when/where such things should take place. a lot of her affection comes from doing things for other people too. literally anything. all of her love is tied up in showing people that she can care for them in any capacity — just not cooking, for awhile at least.

8. 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙥𝙤𝙨𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙙𝙤𝙚𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙢𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙨𝙡𝙚𝙚𝙥 𝙞𝙣?

curled up. if she doesn’t have anyone to cuddle with then god damn she’ll cuddle with herself. that’s about it.

9. 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙝𝙚𝙖�� 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙢𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙝𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙬𝙖𝙮 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙖𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙧𝙤𝙤𝙢?

when you spend the vast majority of your life trying to go as unnoticed as possible, you get pretty good at moving from one location to the next without being heard or seen so ... no. at this point in time she doesn’t go out of her way to be completely silent but it’s hard to break the habit. though she does find it a bit funny when she scares people from sneaking up on them on accident. but she’ll apologize quickly, too!

[ot3]

My approach to flat colors + limited palette drawings

This is a follow up to this post  i made about how i go about figuring out a color palette for my limited palette drawings. an anon asked me about my actual technique of finishing them so this is gonna be an explanation of how I work in a limited palette with flat colors. I ended up with these thumbnails for a sketch last time so we’re gonna work from here and I’m gonna sort of walk through how i got to the finished version

first things first: every part of this process is just developed as a result of me messing around. take my advice with a grain of salt and if you think you know a way to do something better/that makes you more comfortable. go with that over what I say.

I’m honestly a little surprised when people express confusion about how i draw like this because it’s SUPER simple - literally all you’re doing is just stacking solid color blocks of shape. its very imprecise despite how sharp everything ends up looking. 

First things first is that you want to decide how you will be handling your edges throughout the duration. Do you want your shapes to be ultra-sharp and precise, or do you want a little bit of a wobblier, grainier edge? Both can look good but it’s VERY much a matter of situational basis. i’ve been favoring looser and grainier shapes so that’s how i’m going to be working on this. 

on the left here, you can see the shapes made with precise rectangular selections and an untextured pen, on the right, freehand drawn shapes and a grittier pen. There’s something immediately pretty different feeling about them. So play around with that first - its not something that’s fun to change halfway through! But lets step back a minute. It helps to work large to small. The two biggest shapes here are these orange chunks and everything gets stacked on top of them so i’m gonna do that first. 

Now, a key feature of what i do: clipping masks. almost all digital art programs have them. What a clipping mask does is it constrains the pixels of a layer to the transparency of the layer below it. Here I have the light orange layer, and then on top of it the buildings and billboard are clipped to the orange. Most of you probably already know this and I’m overexplaining a bit, but there was a time when i didnt know how clipping layers worked and someone had to explain it to me.

now you’ll notice the shapes of the buildings are rough, and sloppy. here’s the fun part: since this is all about stacking shapes, only your exterior edges matter. this all gets filled in. be as sloppy as you want when you’re making your shapes. in fact, the outside edges get trimmed out a bunch to when i do this - i go in and erase them clean. Don’t be too finnicky about drawing perfect and precise! its a waste of time. As long as the silhouette is what you want, the interior can be a nightmare.

Working this way, it’s important to keep your layers stacked in a way you can make sense of. Right now there are four layers here: the background dark orange, the two main orange rectangle shapes, and then the buildings on one layer and a billboard on the other. I rack up a LOT of layers doing this and it makes it annoying in some aspects, but being able to freely recolor any one chunk without losing my detail is a key aspect of this.

So, I block those out

Next, I do the same for the smaller chunks that are still main shapes. There are once again, a lot of layers here. The top layer is the hair - you can see the head showing through it. The head and arm underneath the hair, same layer. Then the cup. Then the light green pieces of paper. Then the dark green ones.

The cup is technically farther forward than the head and arm so you would think it’d go on top, but the point isnt to recreate the foreground and background hierarchy with layers so much as it is to group things in a way i can work with. The cup goes underneath so it can be grouped with all the other objects on the table. 

now, i just go and fill in all the shapes. i forgot to do the blinds but i get them later. you might notice a lot of these shapes are pretty rough, which was harder to notice before they were filled in. Now that I can see better, I go in with an eraser and clean up the edges until they’re the shape I want 

sometimes erasing leaves little bits of ‘noise’ around objects like on this napkin here. i like to keep a little bit of this noise for texture, but if you dont like it make sure to get rid of it! if you’re working very crisp this will stand out a LOT

Next up is to add some detail onto the objects

I flipped the canvas here because the head shape was wrong - the ears were uneven and i wanted to fix it. I want to go about adding detail onto the billboard and buildings. i do all detail with clipping masks - but the objects are clipped to another layer and so nothing can be clipped to them. instead, i unclip them and just erase by selection for the same effect

all of the text on the papers is clipped to the papers below it. the buttons are clipped to the phone. the yellow photos and card are actually another independent layer on top, in case i want to recolor them separately. im indecisive and end up recoloring things a lot. For the most part these objects are starting to become recognizable as more than just shapes

i go in an add the details on the background and character now. theres some more stuff on the table. the lines of the face and ears are on one layer, and the flats of the eyes below that. Here’s what each group of layers is, and what they look like on their own

The background/bottom chunk. Just the table, window, and shirt.

The middle bit. All the stuff on the table and the blinds.

Finally, the top, which is just his head and arm. 

now this stage is the bare bones of the drawing. you can more or less tell everything that’s happening. it reads. but its very much lacking in something - it doesnt have a ton of depth or interest. and adding that additional detailing, the dept and interest, is where stuff starts getting REALLY tricky and subjective. 

im gonna take you to a much simpler scenario to show the sort of options i go through at this stage

ahh its our dear friend, sphere casting shadow. this is, more or less, the kind of image we have. you can tell whats happening but it’s lackluster. there are TONSSS of ways frm here that you can go add interior detail to a shape once it has been established. here are some quick and SUPER rough examples

from top left to bottom right: flat cel shading, softer airbrushed/gradient shading, halftone, and a textured brush. Each of these has their strengths and weaknesses. They can also be combined.

for example, here’s the solid cel shading being used to contain a gradient/airbrushed detail. This image - probably the single oldest piece of my art i still willingly show people - is entirely colored with gradients being contained in cel-shaded chunks. It has a sort of soft, luminous quality but without losing its crispness.

here’s a super quick bust with some variations of stuff going on. obviously this is no masterpiece but you see how different types of detailing can interact with each other and be used to distinguish materials too. 

With the mob psycho comic I did, the detailing that wasnt line was done using a variety of halftones of different shapes layered on top of each other

by contrast parts of my ace attorney comic use a textured brush and have a sort of blended, papery feel

any of them can work for pretty much anything as long as you are using it with intent. practice around. mix styles of finishing together. find a comfort zone. the more you do it the more intuitive it becomes and at the heart of it this process is a very intuitive way of drawing because of how far removed it is from realism.

Now here is the trick - light and shadow.

Everything up to this point has been very flat and adding detail helps but there’s only so much that can accomplish. To get HEAVY light and shadow you need to think about things differently. I think if there’s any part of this process that’s complicated, its this one. 

To truly get the most out of your palette, you need to pick chunks of an image to be in higher/lower light and then either ‘step up’ or ‘step down’ the colors in that chunk. here’s what I mean.

Here’s our ball with a beam of light on it. Everything Within the beam of light is one step in our limited palette lighter than anything outside of it. Here’s how I go about doing this: the shape of the beam of light is below everything else. Then, once I have the shape blocked out, i select it. With that selection in place, i go to EVERY SINGLE LAYER that’s effected, lock the opacity, and recolor that chunk. So what’s going on here is that there is only one more layer - the beam of light, below everything but the background, and the rest of this effect is just caused by every layer above it now being two-toned following the exact same silhouette. THIS is why it’s so important to keep your layers separate - if the shadow and highlight had been painted onto the base directly, i would not be able to do this without significant effort. 

This works with all of the finishing techniques I talked about above

A combination of cel shading and half toning, all stepped up to give the appearance of heavier light on one area.This is also how I go about rendering transparency in this style. All of my layers are fully opaque and I allow the colors to do the work of conveying transparent material

Here’s our ball with the patterned/textured brush  shading, being viewed partially through a window

it’s obviously not a very representational way of working, but as long as your audience UNDERSTANDS what you’re trying to convey, then you’re executing it successfully.

So with that, now we’re gonna go and finish this drawing.

For this one, I decide a big central shadow is necessary. In the original thumbnail, he was backlit, which I still plan on doing, and that wouldn’t make sense without casting a shadow.

I’ve had to change the colors of some objects entirely in order to get this to work right. This is what I mean when I call this an intuitive process - some stuff felt weird, so I changed it. This also involves a bit of problem solving. The newspaper is now unable to be separated from his hand. Sometimes changing the color of an object makes that object look better, but ruins its relationship with the objects around it. It’s up to you to learn how to adjust and finagle things until you get it where you want.The paper he has and the napkin underneath it also all blend together now.

The next few parts of this process are REALLY just trial and error, where I toss a bunch of spaghetti at it until it works. It’s hard to decide what to screenshot, because I don’t know what will or will not be part of the finished drawing. To that end, you can watch the recording of this drawing here. This video isn’t edited at all so it contains a couple of minutes of really shitty sketching, and then all of the color thumbnailing work i did in the last post. Actually getting started on these final colors begins around the two minute mark. It is also sideways, I am sorry I don’t know why. 

Now, here you can see where I’ve more or less worked things out. His hand’s not on the cup anymore because my friend pointed out it didnt have an arm attached to it. I added some halftoning to make a gradiating effect in the sky and on the table to give the impression of a sunrise. His eyes are different but as of posting this, I don’t like them and am probably about to go back and change them again. The Cup now has a shadow and some rim lighting. His hand is in shadow. The stain on the napkin is big enough to define the edge of the paper on top of it.

Little things like that. 

The more you draw like this the more the way you need to think about your space becomes natural. I hope this helps and I wish you all the best of luck!