#midnights' longevity is so curious to me

[septembersghost]

x*com/swifferupdates/status/1711078343146410046?s=20

this is wild

[burnedbyshoto]

Sickness and Afflictions

todoroki shouto x reader; bakugou katsuki x reader

warnings: angst, fluff, cursing

a/n: one crushes your heart. the other one fills it. pick your poison. bitch... this made me sad and happy....

Part Two ; Alt Ending

todoroki shouto

You had been happy in your relationship with Shouto. Happiness and longevity seemed to be something coined for the two of you. But you knew that you were the first real relationship he had.

Recently, Shouto was becoming better acquainted with his family. Often spending his free days with his family instead of spending it with you. Which wasn’t an issue in your opinion, but it was three months since this started… and you only ever saw Shouto at night when he would come to bed past midnight. You were becoming upset by this, and whenever you voiced your emotions he was quick to ignore you.

The reality of your relationship was that you were not happy at this moment. You were also sure you did not wish to break up with him… but you wanted effort. Today was your birthday, and you hadn’t received a single acknowledgment from him about it. Today was your day off and he didn’t so much as kiss you goodbye today when he left for work as you woke up.

Today, you sat at the kitchen table at nine at night, waiting for him to come home. Your fingers play with a gift you bought for the two of you as a way to get him to go somewhere with you.

Some part of you wishes that he isn’t here because he has some elaborate plan. That these past few months, he’s been making you insecure for this very night. That Shouto’s waiting for you to cave first so he can expose his birthday celebration plans. But you know better to assume that, Shouto has never been spontaneous like that.

So today, instead of celebrating with friends, you waited for Shouto to come back home.

One hour passed.

Two hours more.

It’s no longer your birthday when the front door opens and closes. Your weary eyes staring at Shouto who walks in, slippers on his feet, exhaustion on his face.

Your eyes lock with his, and you break the gaze to continue down his body. There’s no card in sight.

“Why are you coming home so late?” You ask placing your chin onto your hand. Your eyes boring into your boyfriend’s ambivalent aura.

“Long day at work.” Was his response and it irked you.

“Midoriya-san posted a video of you and your classmates at a bar. Why are you lying?”

“We only went in celebration of—“

“Bakugou’s early birthday celebration, yeah. I know.” You snark back, your hand dropping on the table and a frown on both your faces.

“I’m not in the mood to have a lecture right now. Especially since you know everything there is to know.” Shouto voice drips with sarcasm as he tries walking away.

“Only because if I don’t you won’t ever talk to me!” You exasperate standing up. The sounds of the chair scraping against the floor echoes through the apartment.

Shouto stares at you, his heterochromia eyes feeling empty, lifeless.

“You don’t talk to me anymore.” You repeat, your bottom lip quivering. You try not letting your feelings overwhelm you. Desperate not to give him a reason to walk away. “What am I supposed to do?”

“Keeping your business to yourself?” Shouto steely response. His upper lip presses into his bottom one. “Why do you need to know everything?”

You blink many times, your mouth dropping with failed sentences.

“You’re my boyfriend,” You’re slow to respond. “I’m curious and concerned because you’re my boyfriend.”

“If you’re going to be telling me things I already know, I don’t see the point of me listening to you.”

You laugh, unsure of what was wrong with him. In your inability to speak, Shouto begins walking away. His arm hitting your shoulder causing you to stumble.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” You seethe, your eyebrows scrunched as you push his back. He stills, not turning around. Your mind now in overdrive. “I’m trying to have a conversation with you! A conversation, Shouto! Something we haven’t done in fucking months! And you’re— you’re ruining it!!”

Shouto turns around, his face dark, his own eyebrows crunched as his lips are curling into a scowl. “Let’s make this clear, I’m not ruining anything here. I’m busy, y/n, I have a fucking job that requires utmost concentration and dedication. I can’t be waiting on your every demand and need. Don’t pretend that you didn’t know that coming in.”

“Of course I fucking knew that coming in! I’m the damn best fucking support employee Japan has! I’ve dealt with shit for you fucking heroes! I can see that you’re busy! But you’re not always busy! You just don’t spend any free time with me! And that’s what’s bugging me!”

That one complaint sends both of you over the edge. And insults pour out of both of your mouths. Eventually, you’re both just saying things to make the other upset.

You were too clingy. Demanding. Impatient. Unclean.

He was too bitchy. Completely unavailable. Dense. Opinionated.

He scrutinized what you had gotten him for Christmas. Claiming it was insensitive and embarrassing to open in front of his family.

You retorted that at the very least you had gotten him a present! You further added to the fact that he refused to meet your family.

He fought that you shouldn’t be too sensitive all the damn time because you’re a grown adult. Not some child.

It circles back to him not being attentive, the two of you in each other’s faces.

Red.

Angry.

Yelling.

“I don’t owe you anything. I don’t owe you my time, my energy, or my presence. If you’re not happy with it, why the hell are you here?” Shouto growls at you, his face dark.

“Because you mean everything to me, you fucking dick?! Something I’m not ready to give up! Is it that hard to fucking see that I want to be here?!”

“I don’t owe it to you to spend my free time with you,“ Shouto repeats. “You’re my girlfriend, not a pet!”

“Oh, no, sorry!!! I forgot because if I was a pet, I would be getting much more love and affection than this!! You know what, Shouto? This is my place. This is my apartment, and you still have the fucking audacity to show up with this attitude? For someone who loathes Endeavor as much as you do, you sure don’t act any fucking different from him.” You hiss centimeters from his face.

Your mind doesn’t even register the terrible words that come out of your mouth. All you know if that pure rage manifests upon Shouto’s own.

“Don’t you dare fucking compare me to him. You know nothing about what it was like living up with him.” Shouto seethes, as his body stiffens, his eyes dark and angry.

“Let me guess, always distant and cruel? Emotionally manipulative? Using the people in his life for his own advantage? Seeing only his own fucking feelings and no one else’s? Hm, and the real question is who am I describing?! Pro-Hero Endeavor or Shouto?!”

Shouto’s right-hand grips your forearm, shocking you at the sudden movement from him. But Shouto’s too angry to notice that his quirk activates in his moment of anger and frustration. Ice cold burning pain shoots down your arm. It not until you’re sobbing out in pain does he see the blistering ice burns on your forearm and the tears in your eyes. And fear fills his being.

You rip your forearm from his grasp. Baffled and choking sobs leaving your lips as you examine the blistering skin. You tremble as you cry.

He burned you.

Shouto burned you and he wasn’t even apologizing. All he was doing was staring.

Your eyes rip away from your burned arm and stare at Shouto. A new sadness burning through you. “I only wanted you to show me that I mattered today… it was my birthday today. No yesterday Shouto… it was my fucking birthday! But… I get it now, how much I annoy you, and how much you’re unhappy with me but… still. It was my birthday and you didn’t speak to me or acknowledge it at all yesterday.” Your voice resonates with broken, cracked, and defeated tones.

Your throat tightens with overwhelming sadness as pain throbs through your arm. But it’s nothing in comparison to the pain in your heart. You cry as you walk to the table grabbing the white envelope in your hands as you give it to him.

“Take this, it’s yours…! I’m… going to the hospital to get this fixed up… please don’t be here when I get back. …we—we are…” Your voice cracks again as you know what you have to say, but don’t want to say. It’s too late to fix these mistakes. “We’re done. Please have Midoriya come pick up your things. I don’t want to see you, ever again.”

You don’t even conceal the flowing tears as you clutch your burnt arm to your chest. You want him to say something, anything! Anything to convince you that this has only been a few bad months, but that this was the extent of it.

But still, even in defeat, he won’t budge to your will. “Leave the key under the mat, goodbye Todoroki.” You whisper completely defeated as you turn on your heel and leave the apartment.

Shouto goes to open the envelope you gave him, unsure of what it is. But he freezes at the sight of the address. ‘for shouto so that you can have fun with boring old me!’

Shouto unravels a letter within the envelope and reads it over.

‘dear shouto, I don’t know how to start a letter! is it like this? oh well!!!! I figured you were going to get me something I would love for my birthday. so I went ahead and got us this! two tickets to go, drumroll please, see the All Might museum that just opened!!! yes! you read it correctly!!! so I know you and all your friends somehow lost the lottery system for getting it among the Pro-Heroes. don’t panic, we support techs are smarter. we bid on them like feral animals. this ended up costing me ¥125,000!!! totally worth it in my stance. I know somethings been off with us lately, and I’m not all that sure what it is, but I do love you. like a lot. I’m just at this point unsure if I did anything in specific to make you mad? god, I hope not… anyways!!! I know we’ll get over it, we always do!! I love you Todoroki Shouto, and I’m so excited to get to go to this museum with you!!!! love - y/n’

A splitting headache overcame Shouto. His heart is frozen as he stared at the two tickets for special entrance to this museum. It was made out for today, the day after your birthday. A birthday that slipt his mind until your choked up voice reminded him of it.

Shouto sank to the ground, tears falling from his eyes. Oh.

He fucked up big time.

bakugou katsuki

On god, you were going to murder your boyfriend.

How could someone so smart be this dumb?

This entire day he had been avoiding you like a ninja and simply ignoring your every action to get him to open up. It was pissing you off! He was acting like a damn cat instead of a human being.

“Katsuki, I swear, if you don’t eat this goddam soup and medicine, I WILL murder you!” You snap through the bathroom door.

The countless amounts of dry heaving coughs, sniffles, and sneezes heard from the door. You still continue to bang the on wall despite him ignoring you. “Soup is fucking disgusting, and medicine can suck my balls!” Bakugou’s voice weakly snaps back. The sickness heavy in his throat. You can hear him retching just a little bit.

How the mighty fall when they’re sick. But Bakugou fell hard. Plus he refused anything to make himself better! He was more typically relying on his own body to make him better. Which was dumb! But this was week three of him being this way, he needed something stronger than his own immune system.

“If you don’t open this door, I’ll find someone who can kick the door down. Like Deku!”

“Like hell, you would, shitty woman. Even like this, I can kick his ass across the country and—and—ACHOO!!” The crackling of his quirk goes off.

Yes, the worst part of Bakugou being sick was that he was no longer as in control of his quirk.

You grumble as you place the piping hot soup and medicine bottle onto the hallway counter. You walked to the kitchen grabbing your spare bathroom key. You opened it up to find Bakugo sweating profoundly. His body shivering, yet wrapped up in five blankets. His eyes were bloodshot and his nose was plugged up with a tissue.

He looked disgusting.

“Don’t you dare,” He croaks slightly, his tongue heavy in his mouth.

You grab the damn soup and medicine and put it on the bathroom counter. Bakugou was trying to escape. But he was weaker than he typically was only because he would get a migraine from standing up. “Oh no, you’re not going fucking anywhere, dumbass!” You snap at Bakugou as you put your full weight onto his hips, trying to keep him pinned down.

Bakugou won’t let you challenge him like this, and is very quick to fight back. So there the two of you were, wrestling in the bathroom. Your healthy body pressed against his clammy and sweaty one, but still, he’s able to keep up with you.

“Let go of me, shitty woman! I don’t fucking need that crap!”

“Your nose is just about dripping on me, idiot! You’re taking the damn medicine!”

Bakugou’s hand clutched your forearms, ready to throw you off him. But he freezes, and your eyes widen in the horror of having his hands on you. And as he sneezes before he can pull away, his sweaty hands exploding against your arms.

“OH MY GOD!” You scream, scorching pain exploding against your skin. You pulled away from Bakugou, your arms quivering as you watched red blisters form on your arms.

“Shit, babe, I’m sorry!” Bakugou sneezes again, his fingertips exploding.

“You burned me!” You shriek, unsure on how to feel about your boyfriend using his quirk on you.

“Well, I told you to leave me alone!” Bakugou throws back at you, and youthrust your burned arms his way.

“Yeah, still! Also, WHY do you have zero control over your quirk when you’re sick?! YOU’RE SO ANNOYING!” You cackle despite the pain as Bakugou blows his nose before crawling over to you grabbing your arms.

“Stay here, shitty woman,” Bakugou says after examining your burnt arms.

You watch as Bakugou stands up and goes to the medicine cabinet and pulls out some burn salve he owned. He often got burns from overexerting his quirk, and it seemed that you were going to be the one using it today.

“This is why you need to leave me alone when I’m sick,” Bakugou grumbles as his clammy fingers touch your arms. The soothing balm kicking in at the slightest touch.

“NO, what you need to do is to let me take care of you, dumbass!” You counter, shoving him with your foot. “You’re sick, and you could’ve been better five days ago had you just let me take care of you.”

His eyes look up at yours when he’s done applying the balm, and he presses a kiss to your cheek. “Fine.”

Within a day you get him to feel better, but now it’s your nose that’s running. Chills running down your spine as Bakugou shoved soup down your throat.

"You’re gonna eat this damn soup.” Bakugou snaps as you groan.

Why was this soup literally the worst?

[smolbeandrabbles]

Houston, We Got A Problem - Modern!Payne x Reader (Slow West)

@mandy23b​ @wltz-bby​ @happyskywhale​ #MendoTagSquad

Author’s Note: Right. Basically. I was inspired to do this due to pic I saw. And then I had to find a song and a plot that could make this modern and it all kinda worked out-! About 3 or so months after I originally went “this thing will get written-!”  (And then I started in in April and didn’t finish it until August!)

Anyway - I think if I have a checklist of things I can weave in here I got nearly all of them..! 😉😉😉

Disclaimer: AU, obviously / I think he’s as close to in-character as I could have got him but also understand he’s a little OOC (but had to for the context, I guess!) / Slow West & all associated characters not mine / my usual disclaimers-!

Premise: Offered a once in a lifetime opportunity in Houston, Texas - Payne is torn up about leaving you in Colorado. You know it’s a dream he’s been chasing, but you aren’t about to let him leave without reminding him what he has to return to...

Words: 4722

Warnings: AU / Swearing / Drinking / Sexual Connotations / Slight OOC-ness, maybe? He’s a little softer I think than he aught to be but I’ll let you all decide this for yourself-!

________

This is my kinda town, this is my kinda place I wouldn't mind hangin' 'round For more than just a couple days I got a twelfth floor room with a killer view of the empty Astrodome A tab at the bar downstairs, but all I can think about is home

You should've seen 19th Street, you should've seen the midnight rodeo The way them saloon doors swing, when they line dance to "Copperhead Road" Something ‘bout the air down here, that'll make you feel the way all them cowboys do I wish I was an outlaw, But all I can think about is you I got new boots covered in red dirt A "Don't Mess With Texas" T-shirt And a Lonestar postcard postmarked with missin' you It's got the biggest sky you've ever seen, the coldest beer you'd ever drink But I still feel like I landed on the moon 'Cause it ain't got you Houston, we got a problem

---

Undisclosed Location, Colorado

 You could see the truck before you could hear it; stirring up clouds of dust from the dirt roads leading down to the ranch. You were standing out on the front porch, not eager to get caught up in the hot mid-afternoon Colorado sunshine. You were watching Payne, Silas and Marimacho down in the corral with the horses; but that dust made your eyes raise to the horizon. You weren’t due any visitors, and everyone meant to be working here was already in situ. You knew that ad hoc visits sometimes happened; but usually they would call ahead. Cell reception wasn’t great out here, but the landlines worked just fine.

For now the guys were taking a well-earned cigarette break, keeping their sharp eyes on the horse they were training. When the truck was more visible; sun glancing off the paintwork and the hum of the engine filled the quiet air, Payne hopped up to straddle the fence for a closer look. There were no logos to indicate what it might be for, and he was sure that you would have told him if anyone was expected, or had called. He took a drag of his cigarette and squinted at it suspiciously as it continued to wind its way towards the house - you were already outside and could deal with it for now, but he had to admit he was curious. Silas and María joined him on the fencing; equally suspicious. “What’s up there?” Payne raised an eyebrow “Hope it’s good whatever it is...” He watched you point him out.  “Guess they’re looking for you, Payne.” “Ah shit, well, I’ll report back..! You two got this one, right?” Maria scoffed “Course we do-!” “If we don’t you’re not doing your job well.” Payne shoved Silas at that, who laughed, and jumpped down, putting out his cigarette he wandered over to you.

You stepped out to the front of the porch to greet them. Both men whose clothes and build said they were probably also in this profession. So they weren’t lost. Trainers or buyers? That was the question. “Good afternoon, m’am-!” They both sidled up to the porch, tipping their hats - ah-! The old-fashioned kind. “Afternoon gentleman. What can we help you with?” “We’re looking for a man by the name of Payne? Heard he’s the best in the business and that this is his ranch.” That irked you just a little, this was your ranch and your parents before you. And it had collectively become “yours” over time. True he had the reputation, and he’d built it into what it was... but it was not Payne’s. He used to work for your father; Payne had a gift for breaking and training horses, and had put this place on the map beyond your father’s wildest dreams. You weren’t about to argue that point now, instead you gave a small smile and pointed back to where they’d just driven from. “The man you’re looking for is out there working, gentleman...” Although he was watching you, the other two now at his side, and as soon as you indicated to him, Payne cleared the fence and began wandering over. “Oh-! Thank you m’am!” They both turned, not giving you the opportunity to ask what this was about. But you knew Payne; he wouldn’t have them speak without you in the know.

  By the time he reached the truck, the men had already started towards him; “Gentlemen-!” “Ah! You must be Payne!” “Correct,” He nodded to you, “I see you’ve already met my partner in crime, Ms.Y/N.” You mouthed him a ‘thank you’ - at least he always made sure you were recognised. Payne gave you a wink, before turning back to them; “What can we help you with?” “We hear you are the man to come to - for Horse Whispering, or for breaking horses.” Payne folded him arms across his chest and tipped his head, “That’s kind of you to say, suppose the proof can only be in the success - you need horses breaking, or otherwise?” “Yes. We have the horses, but we wanted someone with your expertise for this particular job.” Payne nodded; “Whereabouts are you from?” “Houston, Texas.” Both of you suddenly froze in place. That was Midnight Rodeo territory. There was a lot that could be done in Texas to do with horses. Payne wasn’t beyond being a full-on cowboy at times, if the need called for it. He swallowed hard, “Well, then maybe we should take this inside... that’s... quite a way to come for just me.” They looked to each other, then back to him with massive grins, “Well, Payne, you ain’t just anyone - you’re the best of the best. And hopefully we can have a good discussion. We haven’t looked at anyone else; you’re the man we wanna hire.” Your eyebrows shot up at that - this wasn’t an opportunity your man would want to miss, you knew that.  Payne turned back to his friends to whistle that he’d be a while, and then ushered the men inside - this was likely to be a long discussion; but an exciting prospect at that.

 ***

 By the time they left the sun was low in the sky, and Silas and Marimacho had already packed up ready for the morning – leaving the horses out to graze. You were both sitting on the front porch watching them and discussing the offer, his head in your lap. “It’s a good job, it’s a big job. But you’re gonna be here alone.” You smiled, he was right – it would be unprecedented for Payne to get something good going on in Texas, especially with such draws at the Midnight Rodeo, and to bolster his reputation and his name; yes, you’ve heard of him – now here’s the proof that what they say is true. You certainly weren’t about to let him pass that up, even if it would mean being here alone for a few weeks. You knew he wouldn’t want to go alone; he’d need the whole team – after all Payne always said it was a team effort. You ran your hand through his tangle of curls; “Baby, don’t worry about me, you should do this thing. It’s gonna be real good for you.” He sighed, folding his arms; “I dunno, Y/N… I just…” “You can leave me alone, I’ll be fine.” His eyes met yours and doubt was written all over his face. Payne had a point it wasn’t usual for you to be apart, and you’d suggest going with him but you’d be needed to hold the fort here – and he’d only trust you to do that. “Well, yeah, I’ll miss you. Of course I will, but…” You bent your body over his, “you need this, and you want it. And I won’t let you say no because of me.” and kissed him gently. “But there’s so many other factors-!” Payne looked back to the horses again – “I mean, you by yourself out here? What if you need help-!? I mean, do I leave someone with you here or-!?” “Shhhh…” You rubbed his shoulder affectionately, “Stop thinking so much and make a gut decision.” He scoffed, “If I even knew what that was.” You shook your head and kissed his cheek gently, shifting him off your lap; “Well – maybe it’d be better for you to have an inner dialogue…” He sat back on his hands as you stood, brushing yourself down, “I’m gonna make dinner-!” Payne replaced his hat and raised an eyebrow, reaching out to take your hand “What would you do, if they wanted you?” “I mean I doubt they ever would, I’m hardly the same calibre,” His fingertips danced over your skin, causing you to smile more, “but I would go. If it’s what I wanted.” “And you wouldn’t feel guilty?” You sighed, “I hope you don’t think I would guilt you about it anyway.” You bent to kiss him again, “No. I wouldn’t.” You swept back to the front door, “And don’t you dare try to guilt trip yourself out of it!” He laughed, “I still gotta decide if I wanna go-!” But you knew, deep down, his decision was already made. Dinner was eaten in relative silence, mostly because you felt every time you opened your mouth he might think a little too much on staying for you – you hated to think that a man who wasn’t really one to be tied to any one place, would skip out on Texas for you. Payne had never been homebody and he’d left you here before – you supposed it was the longevity of it. And perhaps how far away he would be. He helped you clear the table before leaving you with a kiss on the cheek and heading outside again. You sighed gently, watching him go. You were worried; how could you not be? But his fretting over this was for nothing; after all it wouldn’t be forever, Payne would still return to you. And if he needed you to make that decision for him, then you certainly would. You gave him another hour or so alone whilst you set out everything that needed to be done the following day, and chalked up everyone’s schedule. After which you got the house in order for the evening, and, thinking that he’d now had enough time to think, joined Payne back on the porch. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes; he was lying back again, one arm behind his head, smoking a cigar. The glass and bottle next to him filled with a suspicious looking green liquid that you knew he shouldn’t be trusted with. ‘If it’s bad enough for Absinthe, I guess it really IS bad.’ You strolled over, shaking your head slowly; “Boy. Don’t make me decide for you!” He was silent for a moment, blowing smoke into the late evening air; “Wish you could.” You leant against the porch frame, one hand on your hip; “I’ll help you get ready…” Your eyes flicked to him; “I’ve been alone before. I mean I love ya, but I think I can survive.” He shot you a look, “I just don’t think sitting out here with absinthe is really gonna help you think with any clarity!” You grinned, “I have a solution, though.” He sat up again, taking another drag, “Oh yeah?” You gave him a smirk, “Yeah… But you’re gonna have to promise me you’re going to go.” “I could just as easily go back on it.” His head tipped, daring you to do something about that proposal. “Well,” You sauntered around him, dragging your fingertips across his shoulders, “if you don’t want me…” He let out a soft groan, “You know I’ll do it.” “You shouldn’t do it because I think you should either…” You paused, picking up the glass and finishing it for him. Regretting it about 5 seconds later and shuddering; you’d nearly always hated the taste – especially neat. “You should do it because it’s all you’ve ever talked about. Because you dream about it. All I’m trying to encourage you to do is chase your dreams.” Payne tipped his head back, blue eyes searching yours; “You’re still gonna be here right?” “You think I’d leave you? I think you’re much more likely to find someone new in Texas.” He growled, “Are you fucking kidding me-!?” “Just checking!” Though the grin on your face was teasing. He stubbed out the cigar and rolled over onto his front, eyes narrowed; “Is that what you think of me?” You took a step back, with a smirk; “Why don’t you prove to me you won’t?” Payne jumped to his feet and pretty soon had you backed against the front door, hands in your hair and lips on yours; “How dare you suggest such a thing-!?” You simply smiled; “I just wanted to check there was someone to wait for, and tell me all about what happened when he lived his dream…” He shook his head, bringing your lips to his again, before moving his hands to the hem of your shirt; “Well – Let me just prove to you, that there’s something worth waiting for.” ***

Houston, Texas

Payne hated to admit how much this was hurting him. He was living it here in Houston, this was the ‘I made it!’ dream.

He’d been here almost a month now, and the entire crew has flown down with him. He was supposed to be having the time of his life, and he was having the time of his life. These were some of the most gorgeous horses he’d ever been given the opportunity to work with and break. And watching them go from fairly wild to seeing them get calmer, and some of them eventually in the rodeos themselves or out working, was breath-taking, and everyone was impressed. Especially the gentlemen who had hired him. He was getting a lot of exposure; his whole crew were. This felt a lot more like play than work, and Payne didn’t think he’d ever seen them all so happy.

But all he could think about was home; all he could think about was you. Even when he was run off his feet, you were still in the back of his head. He called you every day, and if you didn’t pick up then he’d leave a message - but no matter if he got through to you or not, Payne always ended with “I miss you.” Because he did - and he and you had travelled before, it wasn’t like you weren’t used to this but it felt bigger, it felt longer... it was longer. And there wasn’t a real end in sight. But Payne knew he wanted to go home; even realising his dream wouldn’t stop that feeling - he was a Colorado boy, and the ranch and you would always be home.

Payne knew what was coming, from the way everyone was so delighted at his team’s progress, he knew that they would offer him a job. It was always in the air but never said; it was going to be asked as soon as he was on the brink of leaving, Payne knew. It would be him, and he would say no ‘not without the crew’ then it would be all of them asked, and he would still say ‘no, not without her’, and then they would say it would be fine to move everyone’s families too. But you’d refuse; it was a ranch handed down through generations - back to when the West was first being settled. When outlaws and bounty hunters ruled the land. You weren’t leaving - you’d probably rather leave him than you would that house. And Payne had spent way too long crushing on you, then wooing you, and now being with you to let that happen.

This might be his dream but he was comfortable with you. And all Payne had ever wanted was to be comfortable.

 Tonight was another night at the midnight rodeo, but for the first time since he’d arrived here Payne was skipping out. His phone had vibrated a couple of times when he knew it was due to start but they’d left him alone since then. Instead he was sitting at the desk in his hotel room, looking out over the city. There was a glass of whiskey sitting next to him (absinthe wouldn’t have tasted the same away from home either and it wasn’t exactly a wide spread sold alcohol), yet Payne was a little too absorbed in what he was doing to pay real attention to that either. Calling you was all well and good, but Payne didn’t have a fantastically verbal love language. He didn’t think of things to say in the moment that could express his feelings to you adequately; but he could write it. He could ponder what words sounded right, he could change them all around and make sure that it all flowed. Everything that he somehow couldn’t say out loud, Payne was at least glad that you could read it. It might only have been a postcard, not a real love letter, but it would have to do for now. He could still say everything that he wanted to; and Payne would still end those letters in the same way as he did his calls:

‘I miss you.’

 **

You knew what it was as soon as you opened the mailbox, and dropped everything else inside before sitting up on the paddock fence, yours and his horse grazing in the field behind you, you sat and read. You inhaled - knowing that he would have sprayed it with his cologne, in the same way when on occasion you wrote to him you would cover your notes in perfume - and for a second it felt like he was here, with his arms around you.

At first you were smiling; he was such a sweetheart in the way that he wrote. You knew Payne wasn’t good with words, romantic words, but this was always where he told you he loved you. Letters happened even when he was home, you’d find them all over the house and they would always make you beam; you kept them in a little box and sometimes you’d sit and read them back. It always amazed you how what he wrote may have been different the longer you were together but, what he said stayed the same. He still loved you the same, and you loved him just as much. So soon enough, as you continued to read his postcard, you weren’t just smiling, your heart began to ache and tears threatened to spill. You sniffed and rubbed your eyes, not allowing any to fall, as you did so his horse nudged against your arm and you patted his muzzle with a half-laugh-half-upset exhale; “I know... I know... I miss him too.”

 Payne knew the question was coming. You were going to ask it eventually. You knew he had to work but sometimes too long was too long. And you knew what this meant to him, and that you’d persuaded him to chase it across the country, but you missed him. There was no end date: it wasn’t like he’d be back at the end of the month; the truth was he didn’t know when it would be over. “When are you coming home?” He didn’t want to tell you he didn’t know, but he didn’t. Payne could hear it in your voice though, that you couldn’t take much more uncertainty. And neither could he; it wasn’t about wanting to go home anymore, but needing to. “Baby, I... you know what they’re going to say, they’re gonna wanna keep me on.” “Well they can’t have you.” Your answer was curt. He chuckled “Feisty. I wasn’t gonna leave, I know where my place is.” Your voice was amused though, “Damn right-!” “As you know good work is never done when horses go in and out all the time. I guess the specific group I’ve been working with are nearly fully trained. So, I’ll be home soon. I promise you that, I’m comin’ home-!” “Don’t make me hold you to that-!” He grinned “Ha-! Oh, I won’t-!”  

**

It was a harder conversation than he’d expected. But Payne wasn’t one for giving up, nor negotiating when he wanted something. He very much had a ‘my way or the highway’ attitude, and he wasn’t about to be forced into staying when his work was over. The money he was offered was good – brilliant even – he couldn’t deny that. Yet, Payne knew where home was, and it wasn’t here – even with how much he was loving his time here. He kept firm, and made sure they knew he wasn’t about to be pushed around. The one thing Payne worried about was his reputation; after all he didn’t want this relationship to turn sour. Once he’d left they could use anything to turn the rumour mill: ‘aw, the boy couldn’t hack it.’ That just wasn’t true. But Payne didn’t really trust anyone outside his friends and you; and was always that little bit suspicious. You’d always called it out as an odd trait; especially as he seemed pretty open and friendly towards most people. ‘How else am I supposed to get business and get paid, Y/N!?’ ‘AHHH! So it is for your own ends!?’ Yeah, you probably had it right, but he wasn’t admitting that. Though there was always a reason he kept a decent revolver around. What he did promise was that he could come back periodically for a few days, maybe a few weeks, and continue to work for them. But Payne wouldn’t be contracted here, and he explained as such – he’d built up his, and the ranches, name in Colorado and there he would stay. He had a lot waiting back home – and this would never be home. Even if he could miraculously get you to agree to move. Not that he gave them much of a choice, but they saw the logic in his decision and accepted his offer. He’d really have to talk it out with you first; but Payne was sure you’d not mind too much. Weren’t you always calling him a drifter anyway? The ranch was just a home base. That suggestive way you’d look at him, voice sultry to match your blink and say; “If the sex wasn’t so good you probably wouldn’t even stay, huh, babe?” Payne shook away that thought with a deep exhale, you weren’t the only thing he was missing right now. By the time he got back to his crew from the final meeting and tidy up, they were all already packed away. Everyone had the same notion, they were ready to go, ready to get back to families of their own. Still, Payne knew how much they had loved it here; and far be it from him to hold any of them back. “Before we do all get on a flight tomorrow morning back home, I do wanna say to you how proud I am of how hard you’ve worked. We’ve always been like a little gang of outlaws, and hell if we haven’t shown these Texas rangers a thing or two!” There were plenty of laughs and cheers at that, and Payne grinned, “But, I’m going to give you the choice, and no hard feelings. You can stay if you wanna stay, if you think this is better for you…” He turned to take in his surroundings, “I’m not gonna stop ya.” There was silence amongst them for a minute, and as Payne’s eyes settled back on them he had a horrible feeling they were all about to walk away. Skelly was the first one to scoff; “Payne, ya gotta be kiddin’ man! We ain’t leavin’!” Silas joined in immediately; “Hell yeah, you’re a good man and a good boss and we’re sticking with you the whole way! Fuck these guys, it’s all or nothing with us-! Hell, you’re the one that damn near had us make a pact.” Payne chuckled at that; “Yeah, we were kids back then Silas.” “Well, it still means a lot to us!” Marimacho folded her arms with a smile; “You stick by us and our families. If we ever need anything you and Y/N are there, and if there’s ever something troubling us you’re lenient and understanding. Side note too, but your gal is awesome… We’d miss her too much! No-one gets left behind Payne, you’ve always been about that.” “Here, here!” Kid and Gull followed suit on the other three. He blinked a couple of times, humbled – glad that they wouldn’t turn their backs on something good. Still, he smirked, Payne could count on their loyalty – they were a motley crew for sure, but all great friends. He was glad they’d still take some stupid lines said as teenagers so seriously. He nodded, looking at each of them in turn; “You’re right. No-one gets left behind.” His smirk turned back to a small smile; “So, lets get back to the ones who are waiting for us.” *** He had called you the evening before to say he was leaving. You thought it seemed very sudden, but you supposed Payne would rather make sure, and head home than promise you something and find out he couldn’t keep it. He’d also let you know they were getting on the plane, and now you knew he was on his way back you couldn’t have been more excited. So, as soon as you heard his truck, you couldn’t help grinning. It was an all too familiar sound; and not just to you. Seemingly every horse in the stables knew too; his and yours racing to the top end of the paddock, and the dogs were also in chorus. You chuckled to yourself; “Daddy’s home.” Washing and wiping your hands quickly on a towel from where you’d been working, you ran to the door as you heard his truck pull up. By the time you’d opened it and run onto the porch, he’d already leapt from the vehicle and was walking over. Payne stood at the bottom step, presenting himself, grinning at he looked up at you; “Honey, I’m home!” You shook your head at him but, too overcome with joy to care about him being cheesy, you leapt off the porch and into his arms. “God, I missed you so much… I missed you so, so much!!” You cried blissfully as he held you tight to his chest. Payne understood that notion all too well; he’d spend the entire flight thinking about how he couldn’t wait to hold and kiss you again. And now here he was, and you were in his embrace; “I know…” He kissed your hair, before you shifted to capture his lips, arms tangling around his neck. It was a hard kiss, and long, very nearly taking both your breaths away. You smiled, stealing another, “You’ll have to tell me everything.” “Didn’t I already?” He smirked, not letting you leave his lips – oh, you knew exactly how the rest of this day was gonna go. “Uhm, I think I said when you came back, you had to tell me all about how you lived your dreams!” “Ahhh… You won’t even give me 2 seconds to say hello to my lady?” “I think you made your intentions for your lady perfectly clear…” You grazed your lips to his once again, “I may say she has done the same.” You tipped your head, with a raised eyebrow, “Mayhaps she has, but who are you gonna listen to first – the kids are whining.” You didn’t need to point that out, he could already hear that the animals were glad he was back. He pulled you in closer, voice lowering, “The kids can hush, mom and dad are talking…” smirking whilst kissing you again, “How well can they have been looked after, if they’re cryin’ for me?” “Of excitement, actually. They just missed you as much me!” “Uh huh, how about my coat, you look after that?” You laughed, “No-one is wearing a coat like that in this weather.” He made a face, “Okay, ‘cept you. Crazy man.” “Ha!” This time it was Payne laughing hard, and his hands ran down your body. You smirked running your hands from behind his neck across his broad shoulders to study his shirt, before chuckling. Emblazoned on the front were six photographs of form fitting jeans, with the caption ‘A Cowboys Best Assets’. The shirt itself hugged close to his chest and left your partner easy on the eye; not that he wasn’t already, of course. “Well, damn. That shirt’s not wrong… I like it.” Besides he was wearing a pair of those jeans himself right now. “Oh really? Thought you might.” “Mhm…” You tangled your fingers in it, and pulled him into yet another kiss. “But I’d like it and your best assets on the floor of our bedroom right now.” You removed his hat from his head and placed it on your own, with a wink. He didn’t need telling twice, hoisting you from the floor as you wound your legs around his waist; “Oh, yes m’am.” Payne took the porch steps quickly, and didn’t stop until he had you tangled in bedsheets.

---

is this from a Tumblr post? I feel like it is... Might need to find it out there and credit back

Thank you for reading my lovelies! 😘😘😘  You know I love this enough to continue it, right? 😉

[lilmajorshawty]

Synastry Overlays Series Venus(🎲)

Venus in the 1st house overlay: Fuck were so pretty huh?

🌺 the last of the shadow puppets-everything you’ve come to expect🌺

“Hotel room Holy Bible

Hotel room free love revival

Baby it's a never ending spiral

'Looks a little bit like Paris”

•this often when expressed both ways feels very Arian in nature—it’s all about the initial feelings. Everything is in your fave and dynamic, the love and romance feels hot-sensual and a bit erotic in a way. Venus usually is in lust of the house person mostly because they’re close to their ascendant and in a sense either have venus conjunct or have a similar rising to their venus. The venus person finds the house person beautiful in both a physical manner as well as a energy way, they feel both vibrant and youthful in the house person presence like they’re above the sky whilst on land. The house person feels venus desire but feels the same if not more level of attraction to how venus carries themselves—it’s a tug and pull of the animalistic and raw instinctual of levels. Pleasure is derived both from physical touch and overall close knitted intimacy between the two. The venus person tends to gain more Arian traits to their venus in this overlay whilst the house persons energy becomes more Martian in nature. House overlays usually manifest as sign to planet so the planet person takes on the sign qualities whilst the house person takes on the planet qualities!

Venus in the 2nd house overlay: They can’t keep their hands off each other

💐Delilah- insecure 💐

“So you're afraid, what about me?

Dare to claim that you can't breathe

Hold my hand or I'll take yours

Don't let go cause how I feel

Is what you've made me”

•this is more Tauren In nature, its sensual..it’s all about security and commitment being the opposite of Scorpio but still being the same modality similar themes of possession/intimacy/worth/desire are often recurring themes. In a romantic Union this can make the venus person very sensual—they can be deeply loyal without explanation to the house person, they crave the house person both physical but not in the more body to body sense of Aries but in a soul to soul way. Venus is infatuated with the house person and over time this can turn into a love that is very difficult to extinguish. The love between the venus and house person grows over time and this can easily become a very suffocating energy at the onset because of the themes associated with this house! In some cases natives that are rather young walking into this relationship will be overwhelmed by how intense and demanding the energy is. The house person can be very patient with venus—often choosing cautious and sensitive ways of acting as well as communicating with venus. The house person often takes the protective role of Venus seeking them as fragile. The house person often is deeply sexually attracted to venus inside and out and desires to truly make “love” to venus rather than just have sex. So In a general sense the house person because of this can seem aloof sexually around the venus person mainly because venus isn’t just eye candy for them venus is their security and they think more about maintaining that then they do Sleeping with them so to speak. Both partners are insanely possessive over one another after some time and sex is often constant here! You’ll see this couple because of how touchy they are.

Venus in the 3rd house synastry: The humming birds

🍀petit biscuit-midnight sky🍀

•this is more Gemini in nature! Their is a emphasis on the mental back and forth between each other! Both partners feel loved when speaking to one another in a deeply special way—the communication between the two of you no matter the individual aspects to mercury or venus will always feel like an endless spark. The venus person often starts the topics while the house person hopelessly complies out of love. Venus jumps and dances from topic to topic and often is very hands on so to speak with the house person as the third house does rule the hands! They turn into a little child around the house person and want to explore everything they can! House person usually ends up embodying the energy of mercury itself so rather than jumping all over the place they are usually very curious and insatiable of venus! Wanting to constantly challenge and soak up as much as they can—they find venus words beautiful and often see venus mind as intricate as well as charming! Venus is very convincing to the house person and often this is a sign of pillow talk!! Talking dirty and playful banter!

Venus in the 4th house overlay: Mom and Dad aesthetic

🍂Drake- over my dead body(slowed down and original pace) 🍂

“How I'm feeling, it doesn't matter

'Cause you know I'm okay

Instead, I ask myself "why do you hurt me?"

When you know, you know I'm the same

I know, I know that you love me baby”

•this feels very cancerian in nature! It’s very Mushy and intimate! On both sides I’d say it’s felt like a familiarity but also a very warm hearted love between both parties. The venus person is very at home with the house person!! They’re real selves seem to come out around the house person and in most cases I’ve seen it to where instead of acting out cancerian traits the venus person usually acts out their IC/4th house whilst the house person acts out the more cancerian/moon traits. Venus regardless tends to be very sentimental and very shy around the house person! They can be indirect and also more emotionally aroused by the actions of house person. The house person is very tender to venus and usually for better or worse gets emotionally involved with venus. The house person usually tries to be cautious as to not scare venus away and usually is the stable one. The house person cares for the venus person regardless of the situation and has a hard time really “treating them bad” the sense of familiarity goes a long way but something about this will always feel like 2007-2011 they’re both a best friend and a close lover!! It’s easy to let your guard down but it’s also easy to keep it up.

Venus in the 5th house overlay: The walking teenage fever

🕊Beyoncé- mine 🕊

“I just wanna say you're mine, you're mine

I just wanna say you're mine, you're mine

Fuck what they heard you're mine, you're mine

All I'm really asking for is you..”

•this feels very solarian/Leo in nature! Both parties feel like kids! Teenage youth in the early giddy stages of romance! The giggles and the big jolly smiles after small moments of intimacy. The warm and sweating palms. The braking of eye contact. The passion and easy chemistry. A lot of love and REAL chemistry is created here almost like nothing you’ve ever experienced! The venus person usually embodies Leo traits in full affect! They become boisterous-courageous and attention seeking-the only difference from them and an actual Leo is this is only a feeling that exist solely for the house person—they desire all of the House persons attention, they want to own and posses the house person but they also are deeply enticed like a cat by the house person. The house person is their joy in life and brings a magnificent flare of romance into their life that they crave deep in their heart. The house person often feels like a school boy/girl around the venus person! Often forgetting what to say and feeling like they’re of the ground on cloud 9 whenever they touch the venus person. Everything feels like the first time with them and the chemistry is so tangible as if it manifest itself into its own being. This being a fixed house their is often a focus on longevity so feelings here are often felt forever! For better or worse! And once Love is established it’s pretty hard to let one another go!

Venus in 6th house overlay: Mr and Mrs feel good

🍁partynextdoor- recognize🍁

“I want you, to turn up on me

Every night when I see you

Better recognize when I see you

I really want you, you, you

Hit the club for you, you, you”

•this is very Virgo in its nature! There is a sacrificial but also routineish nature to this pairing. It’s easy to squeeze one another into each others day to day and because of this it’s very common to get used to/dependent on having that person their to keep everything running smoothly. Most people don’t look to this house as being highly “sexual” or “romantic” whilst I beg to differ. Being the opposite of the 12th/Pisces their is often a deeply connected atmosphere presented here! Venus serves the house person both consciously and unconsciously, they want to ease the load on the house person in a way and greatly desire to be what the house person needs. Venus can sometimes feel nervous and often neurotic when around the house person! It can seem like they don’t know what they’re doing and or that they think to much around the house person. They express love weirder than they normally would and start speaking through their actions rather then their words. Their also more earthy and sensual around the house person—craving more physical displays of affection and often will have their hands all over the house person and vice versa! The house person from what I’ve noticed takes on Chiron rather than mercury and will often be very encouraging and a foundation for the venus person often sheltering and protecting them from the world! The house person is usually the more calmer and easygoing force! The house person finds beauty in the venus person daily and is often infatuated with the bare and untouched aspects of the house person. “I love you with and without makeup baby” similar to mars here this indicates a lot of sex!

Venus in the 7th house overlay: Were already married aren’t we?

🌹TLC- creep 🌹

“The twenty second of loneliness

And we've been through so many things

I love my man with all honesty”

•this is very libra in nature! It can feel sensual because of venus being present as the ruler of his house but it can also feel “right” because of Juno’s influence! Both parties fit pretty well with each other as they fill in the missing chapter of each other! Depending on the planets involved it’ll intensify those traits in the relationship! For example if it’s Gemini both parties will be very communicative and stimulated around each other but if it’s a sign like Scorpio it all be very intense and sexual in nature! That being said the venus person is charming around the house person! They find the house person easy but also naturally beautiful! They find the house person easy to romance but also find themselves easily romanced by the house person! Since this is an air house venus is slightly detached towards the house person but still is very loving and affectionate and at times “overly affectionate” to the house person. The house person is often very content and upbeat due to venus presence! They often show of the shadow side of themselves easier and tend to act it out more than they would with anyone else. They often are both tender and communicative with venus in a very intimate and personal way. They have each others back and also have genuine affinity for one another! But that being said their is a slightly superficial and first layer energy to this relationship so be weary of flirting outside the relationship and occasional fibbing! I’ve seen in some cases for either party to mess around out side of the relationship but keep in mind this is just one manifestation of it and many couples who have this stay together for a lifetime but their is a very immature energy that resides here regardless in the early stages of intimacy that should be watched out for! Think early 90s love in the bronx.

Venus in the 8th house overlay: Intoxicating crimson duet

🥀The Weeknd- House of Balloons/glass table girls🥀

“Been on another level

Since you came

No more pain

You look into my eyes

You can't recognize my face

You're in my world now

You can stay

You can stay

But you belong to me

You belong to me”

•this has AN extremely Plutonian/Martian/Scorpionic/Arian energy to it. It acts as a harsh venus Pluto aspect in most cases. Whilst when it’s good it acts as positive venus and mars aspect. The venus person is usually very intense and in a sense Scorpionic around the house person! Often observant and watchful over the actions and intentions of the house person while the house person is not only equally observant but often sees through venus without venus being able to catch up. It’s often a tug of war between passion and instinctual repulsion. They’re too close too you but also you want them too close. Often in family or platonic relationships this can point to a family member or friend that often easily pushes your buttons or arouses darker emotions out of you that you’d rather either avoid or prefer not to experience. Whilst in romantic endeavors this can be a tricky yet deeply rewarding romance but one that’ll take time seeing as how this is a fixed house! The house person often hold the cards while the venus person holds the triggers. It can seem manipulative but it can also seem very intense. Sex here is pretty dark in nature because of the feelings that are aroused! The venus person is deeply connected and passionate over the house person whilst the house person is often protective and deeply endearing to venus no matter their circumstances. But on a side note? Don’t walk into this relationship if either of you are unevolved as hell will literally break loose.

Venus in the 9th house synastry: The high risers

🎾sza- Julia 🎾

“Loving alone is what you make it (make it)

Stay for the storm if you can take it (take it)

But pray for a raincoat

To where they're blind to, mistakes

I know you worry a lot

I’ll be here for you

Do I care enough?

Do I feel for you?

I can guarantee”

•this will feel very sagittarian in nature! There is an easy but also fluid feeling with this partnership! It’s honest as well as open as this tends to create a “everything laid out in the open” atmosphere to the union! Neither partner is into hiding and neither feels as though hiding anything is particularly necessary! Passions usually run very high for both parties as this is a fire house! Love is expressed in a bare and uplifting way and both parties usually few as though they are growing by being in the presence of the other. Venus is often very animalistic and raw towards he house person—often initiating and chasing but doing so merely out of sport than out of pure desire! They love the action and the excitement from the house person and tend to shower the house person with a vast galore of love simply due to the huge amount of care and compassion they feel for the house person. The house person often being the Jupiter here, tends to enlighten and guide venus but also showers venus with love and much care simply because of how warm and tender their connection is! It feels like a roller coaster ride in the middle of a sunset in Tokyo! You guys love each other too much and you love life when your together!

Venus in the 10th house overlay: The painful noir duo

🥋jhene aiko - comfort inn🥋

“Really, we had the perfect end…

That night we shared at the Comfort Inn

We made love like the world would have ended…

If either of us had admitted

We were in love”

•this feels very Saturnian/Capricorn in nature. It can feel a bit heavy, in most cases it’s so stable sooo lasting and immensely secure but something about it will also feel detached and slightly out of reach. There is a gap between the now and the once was with this pairing. Venus often feels very secure around the house person, a sense of lustful yet mature longing for the house person—there love but more than anything their devotion! Which is something venus often feels that they spend all or even most of the relationship chasing after. The house person may unconsciously demand a lot from the venus person which at times unknowingly places a huge strain on the open sharing of feelings between the two! This can show a heavy focus on the public eye and the endeavors of both taking priority of intimacy and in most cases depending on the people involved that’s not always the case! But love needs to always be expressed no matter what between the two! The house person always takes on a providing role and feels as though it’s their duty to take care of venus while venus feels it’s their sole duty to be the support system for the house person! It’s a romantic placements for more traditional couples who don’t mind occasional intimacy gaps. It’ll feel like you’re always listing to a sad song even when things are going Well.

Venus in the 11th house overlay: The electric lovers

🎿tove lo- my gun🎿

“I'm ace in space and oh, I know you want to fly—My tune, your moon, jump on my cloud and we go high”

•it feels very Aquarian in nature with a small dose of Uranus and a slight dose of Saturn gaze! The relationship can drift between detached v attached quite a bit because of the dual ruler ship of a planet that prefers the unpredictable and one that prefers something more predictable. Venus is usually very drawn to the house person and their more aloof qualities often finding it easy to be their quirky and odd selves around the house person! Both parties feel understood and unjudged by the other! Both parties have a “fixed” feeling of feeling secure but also close to one another and over time saturn starts to show as a binding force for the pair! Love is usually expressed randomly and often all over the place between the two but is sooo soo sincere between the couple! Venus is often very excitable and genuine with the house person often dragging the house person to anything out of the norm or amusing! The house person is very found of the venus person! Often easily able to relate and see exactly where they’re coming from! The house person can read the venus persons emotions like a book and similarly to a venus/Uranus connection their is a seemingly love at first sight aspect to this!! But with a more binding energy! Both parties are very electric when together and though venus is slightly airy about the connection they are very emotionally close to the house person because of the easy love/friendship dynamic that exist.

Venus in the 12th house overlay: The Neverland escapades

🎨The neighborhood - sweater weather🎨

“Use the sleeves of my sweater

Let's have an adventure

Head in the clouds but my gravity's centered”

•this is very Piscean/Neptunian In nature! Doses and traces of Jupiter can be found but it acts more of the inflated feeling amongst the smog. Both parties can struggle with deciphering what the hell is going on! It can feel like a ungrounded attraction-not knowing what exactly you’re feeling and why you’re feeling it. Similarly to a neptune/venus connection there is a odd but deeply rich sentimental dance between the two people that seems as if it has happened before like deja vu. The venus person is often quiet around the house person! Slightly more submissive and more introspective than usual! Venus often is very unconsciously attracted to the house person, having an almost non judgmental and completely profound depth to their desire for intimacy with the house person which often frightens them seeing as how there is often no tangible source to these feelings. The house person is often equally frightened and tends to either retreat or give venus the run around especially if they’re not used to such feelings! This is a come and go flow unlike the aspect so these people can come and go out of each others lives periodically and in most cases these connections are karmic so it may not be that it’s supposed to develop into anything serious(but mind you this doesn’t mean that just because you have this with a partner it’s doomed! It just mean your relationship has quite a bit of karma attached to it!) their is a need to keep the relationship hidden in most cases and no matter what people will almost never find out about you two dating unless you physically or vocally let them know!

this feels like a drive down a beach while the road is still misty.

[romantic-reveries]

“Can I ask you something?” He suddenly breaks the silence. The tension in the van is thick, now. My stomach flips.

I slurp from my nearly empty sweet tea, nodding, then set it down and look at him. His gaze meets mine, steady. “I think you know what I’m gonna ask, don’t you?”

I laugh. “Do I?”

“You don’t?” I can tell he’s nervous. I think I know, but I want him to say it.

“Why don’t you ask me?” I say, light, teasing. Coy.

He pauses. “Can I kiss you?”

I suddenly feel very out of body, even though I sensed this coming all evening. I want to say yes, but it takes me a minute to get it out, and when I do, his lips are on mine almost immediately.

It feels foreign, and I feel so incredibly spaced out. Is this even real? It feels like a dream, and not in a nice way, but in the dissociative way I’ve grown accustomed to when I’m nervous. I can feel it’s real, though, and I try to anchor myself. Try to match him, bite his lip playfully. He pulls back on a laugh. “Are you sure you’ve never kissed anybody before? ‘Cause it doesn’t feel like it.”

I chuckle. “I’ve had a lot of time to think about it.”

In the dark, in a parked car, frozen yogurt fresh on our tongues, I was kissed. And it was strange, and curious, and thrilling.

&&&                     

We talked afterwards. Communicated about where we were at emotionally—we’d been dancing around each other for a few weeks, kept at bay by the same misgivings. He didn’t know how I felt, and I was hesitant because I didn’t know if he wanted a serious relationship or could do a casual... something. And then, there is the complicated matter of my having feelings for someone else. The last thing I wanted to do was pull someone in for my own selfish gratification and end up hurting him.

He doesn’t want anything serious, either, though. He was exactly on my wavelength, even bringing up longevity, which was something I’d considered. How we probably wouldn’t fit, long-term, because we want different things and have different priorities. We were both completely candid and honest about how we feel and what we want. I told him that I can’t be sure how much of my attraction to him isn’t just hormones, because he’s a man, and he’s always spending time with me and he’s so fucking nice. I told him how I’d been conflicted, comparing he and Dumb Tinder Boy, not in who I like more, but because they are so supremely opposite. He is so easy; we get along so well, we laugh constantly, it’s never weird or awkward, he comes to see me, and when he makes plans, he means it. He’s forward and communicates his feelings. He doesn’t play games, however unintentional they may be. He’s everything tinder boy isn’t. He is easy and uncomplicated, and I think I need that right now. I was open and honest to my very best ability, and I think he was, too, so we’re... having fun. Enjoying each other.

&&&

When we pulled onto my street, past midnight, he said, “I’m just glad I made a move before he did.”

I chuckled lightly. “Yeah, you know, he actually made plans with me before you did, so I really thought it was gonna be him, but... his loss.”

He laughed, one short huff. “Seriously, though.”

[amararoleplays-blog]

50 QUESTIONS THAT WILL TELL YOU MORE THAN YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT IRISH ACTRESS SADIE DUNNE

IS YOUR CHARACTER

[001] the face of any products

sadie is the current face of louis vitton she also has a partnership with covergirl for their all day every day natural finish foundation.

[002] open about their private life

to some extent, she doesn’t hide her relationship with matt matson, however she does prefer to keep some things close to the cuff. she’s very protective of her sisters ( and family in general ), matt, and her friends. so when the press does go after them she does get annoyed.

[003] an advocate for any charities

since her mother passed away from breast cancer, sadie is very much involved with several charities focused around breast cancer research she tries to do the run for the cure every year. she’s also a goodwill ambassador for unicef and a huge advocate for the #metoo & timesup movements.

[004] involved in a relationship for publicity

she’s luckily never had to have been.

[005] where they are because of dishonest / shady moves

sadie’s parents were very very adamant of preserving her integrity and although there were some “casting couch” opportunities sadie declined all of them. her career ( as she will admit ) is built upon sheer dumb luck and some hard work. 

WHO DOES YOUR CHARACTER

[006] @ / retweet regularly

twilight meme accounts, cute dog pics, charities she’s involved with & her sisters

[007] mention most in interviews

her sisters/family & matt

[008] go to when they need some help

her sister for like general life advice and matt when she needs to feel better in general.

[009] idolize / adore more than life itself

her mother

[010] want to end up with (in their dreams)

honestly, ever since matt came into her life three years ago she hasn’t really thought of anyone else. but sixteen year old sadie would say leonardo dicaprio ( cliche she knows )

WHAT WAS

[011] the first thing they tweeted

@sadiedunne am I allowed to be here if I’m terrified of birds? that hitchcock movie still has me scarred, #crowsbegone

[012] the first event they got invited to

kids choice awards

[013] the last (non work related) vacation they took

she went to mexico with matt for their three year anniversary

[014] the first thing published about them on lounge

a few years ago when sadie did her very first indie film that garnered massive critical acclaim, she played a lesbian. lounge did an “expose” on this which sadie never commented on. she feels as though her sexuality is no one’s business and she’d rather just celebrate the people she loves.

[015] the project that made them want to act / write / sing / etc.

she grew up on musicals like sound of music & wizard of oz and all of shirley temple’s movies. as a child star,  she aspired to be like shirley temple and groomed herself to be a triple threat.

WHY

[016] do they put up with all of the bs that comes with the business

to some extent, she’s been in the business since she was six. so she knows being a public figure, people will ultimately be curious about her. however she draws the line and calls people out on bs. she has zero filter.

[017] did they pursue the career they’re currently in

since she was a kid, she just loved entertaining people. she’s so full of energy this career really suits her because she’s an energizer bunny but also has just a great deal of empathy.

[018] did they choose the media persona they did

sadie’s not even sure she has a “media persona” her M.O. is just being awkward and loud and for some reason people like it.

[019] do they hate gossip magazines so much

she could honestly care less on what gossip mags have to say, she’s proven them wrong through her actions.

[020] would they ever make a sex tape

I mean.... there’s probably one floating around there somewhere. if it ever went public she’d laugh and say that she feels sorry for anyone that had to view it because she feels she looks awkward having sex.

WHERE

[021] did they hear their first song on the radio

she actually heard an irish radio play in her mom’s study in their home in dublin when she was four. that’s the oldest memory she has of hearing something on the radio

[022] did they find out they’d landed their first project

at her sixth birthday party, she was thrilled because she’d booked a sitcom in the states.

[023] did they go on vacation after their first big project

yes, her parents took her to disneyland, it was no pun intended magical.

[024] do they live when they want to get away from it all

sadie goes back home to dublin

[025] was their first big press conference

in toronto, one of her indie films debuted there as a part of the toronto film festival.

WAS THEIR FIRST

[026] project embarrassing

her first “project” was a chocolate bar commercial for an irish brand of sweets and sadie got to eat chocolate for the whole day she’ll say to this day it was one of the best jobs she’s ever had. 

[027] talk show appearance a wreck

no, sadie is unbashedly honest and people find that endearing. she told a story about how she befriended a squirrel that lived by the set of the movie she was working on. 

[028] public relationship heavily followed

not really, she dated one of her fellow disney alums. the relationship lasted a year but never garnered too much press as neither of them were “big names”

[029] fan encounter awkward / nice / sweet / etc.

it was kind of awkward because she was thirteen and a middle aged man wanted her autograph. her mother allowed it but she and sadie were a little uncomfortable even though the guy was fairly nice.

[030] relationship (while famous) talked about at all

not particularly, she was never a household disney name, she played the best friend so it was reported on briefly.

WILL

[031] they ever open any sort of business

sadie has recently started dabbling in executive producing and she loves it. so in the future, she’d love to open her own production house.

[032] they ever win a major, prestigious award

she’s won a golden globe, a few BAFTAs, and was nominated for an oscar last year. midnight city’s already getting a ton of critical buzz so hopefully next year will be her year *fingers crossed*

[033] they ever host the smn version of saturday night live

she did last year just before the oscars. she’d love to do it again.

[034] they ever work tirelessly for years to get a project going

she has for midnight city, and now that she’s a little more settled in her career she would love to be a champion for female led and diverse/inclusive projects because she feels she has a voice.

[035] they take pictures with fans who approach them on their off time

absolutely ! she’s happy to do it as long as they’re polite

DOES YOUR CHARACTER

[036] invest their money wisely

I mean sadie’s fairly frivolous with her spending habits, but she’s not spending her money on designer handbags it’s on twilight collectibles, candy, and random tidbits she likes to collect.

[037] work only on projects they love

since her career’s taken off and she’s being taken seriously as an actress, yes.

[038] care more about the fame than anything

no, fame isn’t something she’s concerned with. she’d be acting even if it was in a community theatre setting she just loves entertaining people.

[039] often find they’ve put their foot in their mouth

absolutely, she’s a rambler and she says stuff without thinking so she’s constantly doing this

[040] hide things from the public because they are afraid / ashamed of what the reaction could be

no she’s fairly open about who she is and feels no need to hide anything

DO YOU HONESTLY THINK YOUR CHARACTER

[041] is a good person

objectively yes, I think she tries to be at least.

[042] will have career longevity

I think so, she’s wise about the projects she chooses and is committed to never doing the same thing twice.

[043] deserves the career they have

yes, she’s worked so hard for it

[044] can remain unjaded by hollywood

she’s managed for the last twenty four years so I hope so !

[045] will spend the rest of their life with the person they marry

depends on who she marries, because that person will require a lot of patience

GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY WOULD YOUR CHARACTER

[046] date / marry a fan

she would date a fan, sure. just as long as they tried to get to know who she is with all her complexities

[047] star on any type of reality show

no, she’s not a fan of reality shows

[048] donate to charity / do good deeds without publicity

yes, she doesn’t engage with charity for the publicity. she would do it even if she weren’t famous

[049] say exactly what they think about the ins/outs of fame

yes she’s fairly candid about this and will throw shade where shade needs to be thrown

[050] walk comic con without any security (in or out of disguise)

yes, she’d love it !! she’s a huge fangirl herself. however, she’s never had the chance to go to fan conventions.

[vateacancameos]

Here We Are As In Olden Days, Part 31

Day 31 of @missdaviswrites  December Sherlock ficlet challenge.

31 December, New Year

Sherlock | Johnlock | Ficlet | ao3 link

Sherlock woke up with a crick in his neck, a draft on his feet, and a sleeping John on his shoulder. He took a moment to orient himself. It was New Year’s Eve, no New Year’s Day, according to the clock, which stated it was almost two in the morning. They had been watching some New Year’s Eve show on the telly, one with terrible musical performances and annoying emcees. John had insisted they have it on so they could ring in the new year and watch the fireworks shows from other cities around the world, but mostly he and John had talked over it. It had been a quiet, pleasant evening—a little alcohol in celebration, but nothing out of hand, quiet conversation with the person he loved most in this world, and the warm cocoon that seemed to hang around him and John constantly these days.

Somehow, they’d both managed to fall asleep before midnight. At least, Sherlock assumed John had dropped off around the same time he had. Their conversation had slowed, John had scooted down the sofa cushion to rest his head on Sherlock’s shoulder, and they’d drowsily watched the horrible presenters natter on.

Knowing they’d regret it if they stayed on the sofa for the rest of the night, Sherlock put his free hand to John’s cheek. “Wake up,” he whispered lowly. John groaned and dug his head deeper into Sherlock’s shoulder. Sherlock tried again. “John, we should go to bed.” Another groan was his only answer. Sherlock smiled, gently extricated himself from John, and pulled them both to standing, letting John lean on him rather than try a third time to wake him.

By the time they made it to the bedroom, John was awake enough to undress himself and climb into bed, and he sighed softly as he burrowed under the covers. “Hurry up,” he mumbled. “The sheets are cold.”

Sherlock chuckled, shucked his pajama bottoms, and crawled in beside John. “Rude,” he teased. “You’re supposed to warm them for me, not force me to warm them myself.”

“Make it a group effort,” John replied drowsily, inching close to Sherlock and putting his arm around Sherlock’s waist.

This one gets a bit long. Rest of the story below the cut.

Sherlock hummed happily as he let himself be situated to John’s exacting specifications. If asked who would be the picky one about how he slept, most people would pick Sherlock, but it was John who needed to be facing a certain way with Sherlock positioned just so in order to fall asleep (sofa kipping aside). When asked, John had said that positioning himself in the same way every night had helped him go to sleep faster after he’d first returned from Afghanistan. He’d needed a sense of routine and feeling of familiar comfort in order to relax. Whereas Sherlock was used to getting sleep when and where he allowed it, without any sort of routine to fall back on. Still, he found John’s routine comforting, and he did accede that he’d been falling asleep much faster ever since John had taken up residence in his bed. Of course, it could also be that clocking John’s vitals and learning his every bump and crease and angle as the nodded off was a bit like counting sheep to Sherlock—a good way to slow his brain down enough to let it relax.

He was ready to begin that nightly routine when John sighed in his ear. “We missed midnight,” John noted.

“We’ve both seen many starts to many years, I’m sure we’re allowed to miss a few.”

“But it was our first one t’gether. It deserved special cel’bration,” John slurred sleepily.

Sherlock warmed at the thought. John was much freer with his thoughts and feelings now that they were together. It was as if he’d only kept everything so tightly bottled was because he was afraid of revealing his love for Sherlock. And now that that was out in the open, he didn’t care about the rest. Sherlock understood the feeling. It was liberating for them both, though it had started even before they’d even kissed. It had begun one month ago, when John said he wanted Sherlock around for the rest of his life.

He hadn’t revealed his complete feelings then, and neither had Sherlock, but they’d taken that first step, that pledge to spend their lives together, to put each other over anyone else. They could’ve kissed then and there, but Sherlock had enjoyed spreading it out a little, feeling that will-they-won’t-they tension, enjoying the little flirtations John so loved to give in their texting conversations, reveling in the increasingly open looks and touches from John and Sherlock giving his own in return. And now here they were, over a week into their new relationship, happy and open and starting a new year together. He understood John’s disappointment in being unable to ring in the new year together, but it was fine. He’d spent it sleeping and curled up with John, which was somehow maybe a bit better. It illustrated their comfort level with each other, which was a much better indicator of the longevity of their relationship than some big, showy kiss at a somewhat arbitrary moment of time. Still, he understood.

“If you can hold out for…” he checked his phone, “three more minutes, we can celebrate with Rio de Janeiro.”

John chuckled. “Okay, let’s…” he yawned, “do that.” He tightened his arm around Sherlock’s waist.

“What did you decide for your resolution?” Sherlock asked, mostly to keep John awake, but also because he was curious. John had been mentioning it for days, but hadn’t said what’d he’d landed on. Sherlock, of course, wasn’t pledging anything definite, though he’d tacitly vowed to make John happy. That was enough to be going on with, he thought.

“Oh,” John began with a hum. “Spend the year proving I’m worth a lifetime with you.” He rubbed his nose against Sherlock’s cheek. “Figured that would annoy you far less than a fitness regime or dieting or, I dunno, being less of an arse to other people.”

It was simultaneously greater and less than any answer John could have given. Less because it wasn’t as if John hadn’t been doing that all along, and greater because it made Sherlock feel special, to have such a vow concentrated on him, of all people. He scooted even closer to John, careful not to upset their current arrangement.

“Oh, John, I’ve known your worth for years. Maybe not from day one, otherwise I wouldn’t have turned down you chatting me up that first night, but definitely early days. Hell, you jumped on Moriarty’s back while covered in explosives for me. You, John Watson, are worth everything to me. You have been for ages, and you will continue to be so for the rest of our lives.”

John propped himself up on his elbow, leaned over Sherlock, and put a hand to Sherlock’s cheek. “Never stop amazing me, Sherlock. God, how did I get so lucky to find you? I think you proved your worth to me that first day, in the lab. You read me in a way not even my therapist had managed after two months of sessions. It was… freeing to be seen without having to explain myself for once, for you to understand where I came from and what I needed to feel valuable and wanted. I knew then that you would play an important part in my life, and that grew only more obvious over time. It hasn’t always been easy, you and me, but we’ve managed to get this far. I have high hopes that the rest of life’s challenges won’t be insurmountable if we stay honest with each other.” John stopped a moment, then chuckled.

“What?”

“It’s just gone midnight at the start of a new year, and the two of us are talking like we’re in a wedding ceremony.” He laid back down, snuggling back into position next to Sherlock.

“Did you… were you hoping…” Sherlock had trouble making himself ask. He didn’t want to disappoint John, but he wasn’t sure the whole wedding song-and-dance was necessary. He would do it, though, if it made John feel more secure.

“No,” John said with a sigh that sounded content. Good. “It’s just a paper stating what we already know. And in this day and age, really, something said in a church or in front of witnesses doesn’t really hold much more intent than what we’re saying now. We’ve been marinating all month in the idea of spending our lives together, longer, really, at least in our own heads. Maybe down the road we’ll decide the tax benefits are worth it, but as a means of pledging ourselves to each other, not necessary.”

Sherlock relaxed as John talked. It shouldn’t surprise him that they agreed on this. They were two danger-loving mad men. Marriage wasn’t a priority for either of them. Still, that didn’t mean romance wasn’t warranted. He did want to make it clear what he expected out of their future.

“I agree,” he replied. “And, for the record… I vow, John Watson, to love you, to make you laugh, to keep adventure in your life. I promise I won’t abandon you when this gets difficult. I won’t let jealousy or boredom or criminal masterminds interfere with our happiness. I’ve loved you for years, and I’ll continue to do so for as long as I’m alive.”

Sherlock felt John’s smile through the t-shirt covering his shoulder and John’s fingers rubbing softly over his hip, a comforting and mindless gesture. “I vow, Sherlock Holmes, to love you, protect you, and stand tall by your side. I will support you in your mad schemes, learn as much as I can from your genius mind, and take the mickey out of you every once in a while to keep you from getting too big a head.”

“Hey,” Sherlock complained insincerely, pinching John’s arm.

John giggled. “I won’t let anger or hopelessness or lack of understanding get in the way of you and me. I’ll always ask for stolen ashtrays and make jokes only you understand. I may have sometimes hated your actions, but I’ve always love you, and I plan on doing the same for the rest of my life.”

The idea of them growing old together seemed to not become any more boring or commonplace the more they talked about it. Sherlock’s heart was light, and a happy hum infused his body. He was in bed on New Year’s Day with the man he loved and had just vowed to spend the rest of his life with. No other holiday would beat this one out. The winter solstice would always hold a special place for being the moment they first kissed. But this was more comfortable, more… forever.

“To a new year and the beginning of a new life,” he whispered against John’s temple.

“To us,” John replied. “Happy New Year,” he mumbled, beginning to drift off again.

“Happy New Year, John.”

With such an auspicious beginning, Sherlock knew it would be a good one.

Beginning | Previous 

Thanks so much to everyone who read, followed along, liked, and reblogged. You made me a happy person. Happy New Year!!!!

[speciousesgr]

Should You Care? Women – Annette Dominguez-O’Hair The Model Consultant

When I first met Annette, I was curious about her. She was someone who I could tell had a depth of soul about her. Someone who was incredibly passionate about her craft of modelling but there was a striking difference between her and other people who I’ve met in my time as a model. She cared about the people who she interacted with. She doesn’t just look at her clients as a way of getting her next paycheck but takes an active interest in developing peoples talents and wanting to get to know the people who she works alongside.

So, when she announced that she is creating some workshops & seminars here in Ireland. I couldn’t help but give her some spotlight here on Should You Care? And she kindly agreed to answer a few questions about why Ireland, and her approaches to modelling. Hopefully, you all can take something from the interview and join her at her workshops & seminars on the 28th & 29th of April. Don’t forget to check out her exclusive introduction offer for this event down below!

Why expand past your private clients? You had a long established career helping the creme de la creme of hollywood. Why move to a public domain?

I wanted to help more people. I see a lot of scams in LA,  especially in the local malls with so-called scouts approaching every naive family they see with empty promises. That outraged my sense of justice. I don’t want to see people get scammed. I wanted people to have an option to go to someone who would give honest advice and direction about the industry.

What is it about this industry that gets you up in the morning?

I love to see people follow their dreams and if I can be a part of that process then that makes me happy. I like working with people who are gracious.

What can people expect from a first meeting with you? Walk us through the process. Is there anything we need to bring bar a good attitude and an open heart?

I love consultations! It’s very exciting for me to meet someone and go through the steps with them. I look at their photos (snapshots) during the first few minutes with them in person or via Skype. I see if they photograph well and give advice on how to get a great snapshot – I don’t believe it’s necessary to invest in professional photos until AFTER they are signed with an agency. Every agency is different and they each have their own vibe and preference for how their models portfolios should look. I then ask a series of questions about what they are interested in – both in the industry and in life – this gives me the big picture of the client. Sometimes the modeling they want is not the what I recommend. Sometimes girls come to me wanting to be fashion models but they are not the right height or bone structure, etc. so I talk to them about all the other options – and there are lots of options! –  that they didn’t even know existed. I talk about model rates, casting directors, photographers, resumes, agencies, etc. I then give several examples of my personal experiences focusing on how potential models can set themselves apart from the rest – in LA most casting directors get 3000 submissions or more for each role! It’s crazy. Then they call in maybe 30-100 to audition and then it’s gets narrowed down. I want my clients to have the edge, the insider info to help set them apart and there is a lot that goes into that. We finish up the 90 minutes with a checklist of what they need to do next. My clients have the option to hire me afterwards to help with their prep but honestly I do try to give them all they need to get it going during the consultation. I am also starting monthly group classes for my clients next month. I’m really excited to now offer group classes!

Could you give an overview as to what these meetings/bootcamps are going to contain?

I’m really excited about the TMC Hollywood workshops in Dublin! I am bringing all of my Hollywood experiences with me to share! Lots of advice and insider info on how we do it in Hollywood, what we look for, what makes a successful model, how to set yourself apart from the thousands of other models and actors that look just like you or better, etc.  Sharon Hennessy is my partner in Ireland and she has a world of information about the pageant world and the modeling business in Ireland. She’s amazing and will also be a speaker at the workshop. We also have at least 3 additional luminaries who will also be on the speakers panel representing the best in their fields. The models will also walk away with runway, wardrobe and makeup instruction, in addition to photos and a lot of valuable insider information!!

In your extensive career, you have had the privilege of meeting a lot of different people from every walks of life. What would you say is the most common misconception people have about the industry?

For some reason a lot of people think it’s easy. They think people have “it” and then are discovered. They don’t see the years of training and struggling before they get the right agent and get the right part or booking that finally gives them some exposure. People think it’s great that I started a consulting business and it expanded seemingly quickly but they don’t see the 25+ years of experiences that made it possible for me to do what I do. The years of working with bad agents so I could fully appreciate what it takes to be a good agent… the years of going to countless castings that weren’t even for my category so I could appreciate how valuable everyone’s time is and to not do that to my models or clients… the years of managing a top beauty distributor so I could understand business and marketing.. etc.  Some model colleagues thought “why didn’t I do that? I’m a Model too” All of those experiences came to together, not just the modeling experiences but also the acting, marketing, and behind the scenes work, etc, to be able to create something that was solely based on my experiences.

I have aspiring models come to me and think they can just start working making money. They don’t understand that in order to have longevity you have to understand the business side and have your training and marketing materials in order. It is a BUSINESS.

Obviously, there are many places in this world to set up a modeling business, but what is the appeal of making your mark here here Ireland?

I LOVE Ireland. It speaks to me and I feel at home in Ireland. My grandmother was born and raised there. She always told stories of how beautiful ireland is and also about our family struggles and overcoming challenges and the resilience, passion and the beautiful hearts of the Irish – she was born (first of 13) prior to the 2016 rising and remembered every experience and challenge. She moved to the USA in her 20’s and every Sunday played her irish music and called her homeland “my ireland”. When my family and I finally went we all felt it. It was quite an experience to feel home so deeply. Last summer we spent 5 weeks there. I enrolled my kids in summer camp in Dingle and we spent time in Connemara and Dublin also – I actually worked 4pm to midnight most nights (due to the LA time change) running the Agency from Ireland worked very well and I also consulted Irish models. It was then that I met Sharon at a lunch with Louise and we set into motion what has now become the TMC Hollywood workshops! I hope my family and I can spend more time in Ireland this year and many years to come. My husband also just produced Black 47 about the Irish famine which is premiering in Dublin this March.

Like in all industries there are old wives tales or pieces of advice that have endured. What has been the most useful of these advices you’ve received and what’s been the ones the industry could definitely let go of.

The foundation I work from is the same in my personal and professional life – it’s the belief that we all should help each other. I never looked at my competition as competition. I looked at people who are more accomplished than me and I am excited to learn from them. I see people who are struggling and I sincerely want to help them. When I was a new model and actor I would see successful people I could learn from and as I grew in the industry I would help people around me. It’s funny because people would say “why are you helping someone who is your competition?” I believe there is a lot of work out there and if someone “looks like me” they are still not me. We are all unique and have different strengths. It comes down to intention. If you’re intention is to sincerely help others and not for what you can get out of it then it feels good and those actions seem to magically bring success in many areas of life.  

If you had a signature calling card – a singular thing that you would be known for in the industry. What would you like it to be? What would you like the modeling world to say your contribution?

I would like people that say that I made a difference and helped others.

Annette can be found

Instagram

Website

Sample of her Host Reels

Article about Irish Launch

    from WordPress https://myspecious.com/2018/03/17/should-you-care-women-annette-dominguez-ohair-the-model-consultant/

[thetruthinlies]

.Reflection

( I apologize, I got bored and I haven’t written things in a while, listening to Sum 41′s Pieces and looking at that Zodiac post gave me a little inspiration. )

Word count: 2185 words

“ A mirror is an object that reflects light in such a way that, for incident light in some range of wavelengths, the reflected light preserves many or most of the detailed physical characteristics of the original light. This is different from other light-reflecting objects that do not preserve much of the original wave signal other than color and diffuse reflected light. ”

They said that a mirror reflects exactly what is on the outside. Every feature ranging from the colour of one’s skin, the sclera of the eye, all the way to every minor feature that is on the skin.

It shows the viewer what others are seeing, what their human form is. The thing that a person cannot see within themselves. Their faces.

Sure, this is saying that people can always see their limbs, their outer features which is not their face, neck or their back unless they crane their necks to do that. It was who they were on the outside that was displayed by the lens of this strange glass case. A reflective piece that takes in the light from the sun or any source that not darkness and throws back in the form of showing the objects within its direction.

If a vase is what is put infront of a mirror that is obtaining light from the sun, it shall show the vase, but in the opposite direction. Whatever is left goes to the right and what is right is left. That is general knowledge as when a person faces another, their bearings are in the opposite places.

Their left is your right, and your left is their right.

That is the image that people should be seeing when looking at a mirror. An image of themselves in whatever pose their were in,whether they were biting their own lips or not, blinking or unblinking.

That was not what the reflecting piece was displaying to him.

Now those who have read The Portrait of Dorian Gray would know the piece of art that was created in honour of the beautiful specimen served to be display the everlasting beauty in the character named Dorian Gray. That young, fleeting beauty that would fade within the midnight sky over time, away from the grasp of any person as it ages, grow tried and weary, when their bones quake and give away, crumbling all in itself due to the pressure of being unable to carry oneself.

The inability to stay young and beautiful, healthy and happy.

It was rather something that had been in the conscience of every person. They will one day die. They will not retain that youth and healthy constitution because as their minds get tired and wish for rest, so do the rest of their bodies. Living in circumstances where staying with a skin smooth as a baby’s behind was not possible, no matter how clean the air was, how welcoming a place can be.

What He has created shall not be destroyed, but it moves from one medium to another. The reason for this deconstruction of man is due to the temporary life they are living. None of it would last forever, not the crusts of the earth, not the fruit that it has bore, not the man who cultivates.

Young Dorian who wished to stay as crisp and beautiful as he was in the artist’s creation.. he who willed it to give it’s potential longevity to his real body to keep from decaying or turning ugly.

He who had only accomplished to destroy himself with the wish of staying lovely, gorgeous and full of life. While the outer life of his body remained beautiful, his inside that the mirror would never display bore a monster. An ugly soul that had been tainted so far due to wishing to live retaining his pretty outside brought room for a hunger, a yearn that had soiled his once humble soul into an unbearable sight.

Turning from a beauty as white as snow to a darkness which was darker than the black as coal.

His soul’s inner disgust that was portrayed within that once soft beauty of the artist’s work, displayed out for the world to see had he not conceal it within a room that he prohibited anyone from seeing. And well! Those unfortunate souls who happened to see it not being able to relay their words outside of those four walls..

Mukuro was sure he had read enough literature in regards to the human mind to amuse himself. The things that people would say he is too blind to know, too far deep to understand, he decided to read them as pieces of humour. Running a gloved hand at his face, there was a wonder in the corner of his dried skull wondering how long he had been smiling. Smiling enough to pour cracks within his deathly pale skin that looked abhorrent to the sight, contrary to his hair that was as dark as the midnight sky.

He didn’t care whether his features were ugly, nor did he care if he was beautiful. There was no difference between getting a daily kick in the shin, or a punch in his face, or a stab in the gut, and being revered, having people bow under his feet or those who tried putting enough concealer on his face to keep it from looking something other than a porcelain doll.

In the end, his soul that was once small like a pure snowflake had already burned enough to just be ashes. A kind smile that he would grace his face was long taken away, long dead and replaced with one that hides anger beyond measure. A mask that he just put on just to prevent himself from scowling so deep, wanting to continuously beat the unfortunate down until they are in the same place as he is. 

The last bit of mercy that is within the deep conscious of his.

They did say.. killing with a smile was a way of paying respects. A final act of kindness, a last shred of whatever optimism that is buried along with the blood of the innocent.

.

.

A long time ago he did concern himself, looking at the glass piece who reflected what was supposed to be himself.

There was one innocent time when Mukuro was curious, seeing children drawing themselves to this mysterious piece that did not exist one long time ago, or it did but he had no means of affording it.

One long time when his figure was so tiny, with curious big blue eyes, and hesitating hands. Back when his little pale features still had a bit of melanin to show he was living, breathing and alive. Soft and cute.

Back when children such as himself were cladded in pure white, showing their lack of knowledge of the world and to show they were just patients of a world that was ready to gnaw at them. They were gazing at themselves through this little shard that was in the rooms, specifically the bathroom where the children were guided on how to wash their faces and be clean. There they were, with rather tattered clothes, looking at themselves in awe of such existence.

Hearing their meek responses, little squeals of amazement, he decided it wouldn’t be a bad idea to take a look. They seemed to have their souls flipped in joy seeing their miserable faces shown back to them.

What he had seen on their outsides was what they were able to see as well. Shouldn’t be something wrong if he had taken a look, no? They seemed to be encouraging of it as well..

Letting himself look into the huge glass piece, there was no cute little child with curious blue eyes, little blue hair that reached his chin, or a tiny figure that practically swam in the fabrics he was wearing.

Instead he saw a scarlet eye, crippled skin and a smile that was far too spread out, and a hand that reached out to him. It’s concealed body as fearful as the reaper’s clutch, ready to send sinners to burn in hell. Feeling that dark gloved hand grasp his thin arm, his trembling lips let out a silent scream, trying to free himself from what appeared to be a vice grip of a hand twice his size. 

What he had seen was not himself, it couldn’t have been! That was the smile, the hand, the eyes, the figure of a feral beast. It couldn’t have been him, not he who was still so tiny, fragile enough to snap had the hand twist his arm.

Instead the hand that was extended out released itself as soon as the shaking child painfully hit the wall of the washroom, shutting his eyes as cold sweat rolled down his cute forehead. As soon as his body felt enough freedom to move, he bolted out of the room, feeling tears streaming down in fear of seeing it again.

He heard stories of little children who would be consumed by forces of the wicked, whether it was because of their misconduct or other reasons. Sometimes lives of the innocent were taken just for existing.

He didn’t want to be one of the consumed souls, not in this day and age.

A few years after, losing one of his beautiful blue eyes to a scarlet one, he happened to look at himself in the mirror once more, swallowing a lump in his throat as he saw that darkness only grow. It was larger than it once was seeing as he had grown a bit as well, his once big eyes lowered almost constantly, with what innocence it once had lowered, and his lips previously holding an empty smile.

Upon gazing at the dark puddle of the mirror, his expression was blank, showing nothing as that same shade, that monster that once scared him smiled at him kindly, letting a hand come at the child’s face and remove the bandage that was covering one of his eye.

Mukuro gazed into those scarlet eyes of the smiling distorted figure whose hand was still close, roaming down his cheek and softly speaking.

“Hush.. Hush.”

He fought off the shivers that were coming down, letting his own hand try and feel the blackened one until he noticed one thing. It was like a ghost, unable to be felt.

His fingers passed through it, like dark matter it dispersed for a moment before retracting itself but smiling down at him.

It laughed cryptically, seeing the child smiling back slightly.

“Only you know I am here.”

.

.

.

Other times he would be leaning against the glass, arms resting on his knees as they were loosely pulled up to his chest, interlacing his fingers with his own, smiling ear to ear. His head was tossed back, letting his eyes flicker to the mirror now reflecting a small little being.

Vulnerable, weak and small. A being that was huddled back to itself. 

Mukuro laughed bitterly at it, not in question of how he currently looked. For sure it was not a pleasant sight, nor was it anything close to ideal.

His hair was long and uncut, waving down his elbows, unbrushed. Part of it that was usually neatly parted from the middle dropping down his face like water of deep black creeping down, his skin losing whatever colour it had, answering his inquiry to how much colour can it already lose. His figure was unhealthy, nearing a bony-like stance, with his fingers long and gloved, and his coat being the one giving more of a figure to him, black pants that were halfway pushed into his combat boots. 

Funny how the mirror had shown a figure similar. Smiling till it felt like his cheeks were ripping from the sides, scarlet eye that pierced through the soul of one, and lankiness like a zombie. In the end the reflection, that monster that he had seen was one with him now. He was a monster and that he couldn’t stop from becoming.

Not since the day he had acquired his second eye.

Tossing his head back, he laughed, letting his eyes look back at the mirror, hearing a child crying from within.

Only he could see it, so it told him.

“Oh hush..” he said with a sneer accompanying his tone. Picking up a metal prong without the rod that secured it as a long weapon, he turned his body slightly to face it.

“I’m the only one who can see you, you know?” his voice mockingly bass with a laugh that sounded like a creaking of his throat, he smiled again, his teeth gleaming with the dim light in the room.

At that point, he decided that he did not want to see another mirror in his room.

Sneering like a snake who found its prey, his body moved quicker than it looked like it could move, immediately diving his head through the mirror and shattering it completely, not caring if the shards cut through his arm.

Monsters constantly bleed, don’t they?

[squipitme-blog]

Galaxy S8 and S8+ hands-on: Betting big on big

The Galaxy S6 was, by all accounts, a truly transformational moment for Samsung’s industrial design. After years of building plastic phones constantly lambasted for their “cheapness,” Samsung made radical changes in an attempt to completely redefine its smartphone brand. Those changes were generally well received, but it always felt like they stopped short: the software was still slow, bloated, and the battery life surprisingly poor. With the Note5 and S6 edge+ we saw significant refinement of that reinvention “moment,” but not until the S7 and S7 edge did Samsung really build the concept I think they set out to with those first metal and glass sandwiches.

The Galaxy S8 and S8+ are Samsung’s attempt to show us that they can do more than just iterate on that “Eureka” moment they had in 2015, even if those iterations have generally been quite good. And after the Note7 disaster last year, they really need to make good on that promise. After spending some time with the phones last week, I’m still on the fence as to whether Samsung has truly succeeded – but I think the pieces for success are there. Even if I don’t think they’re all terribly obvious, and even if the phones don’t take any real big risks.

The hardware

Take what you loved about the Galaxy S7 edge and Note7, then just imagine it all being better. More refined, more coherent, more polished. As to that final point: literally. The Galaxy S8 siblings now feature polished aluminum mid-frames, as opposed to the matte anodized finish of years past. In particular – at least in my opinion – this looks good on the Midnight Black version of the phone, which features a shiny black mid-frame to match. The whole phone visually sort of looks like a deep black stone – it’s a very interesting and striking effect Samsung has achieved here. As you’d expect of Samsung, the attention to detail is impeccable. The glass meets the aluminum in a very natural, near-seamless way, and the various body colors all have a distinct character.

The front of the phones, however, do not: unlike years past, all colors of the Galaxy S8 and S8+ will feature black surrounds on the display side of the phone, to accentuate Samsung’s “infinity display” and its minimal bezel. I absolutely agree with this design decision, because it brings the canvas – the screen – out as the sole focal point of the front of the device. You’re drawn to the screen, and everything surrounding it just sort of falls away.

Samsung has been paying attention to the little stuff, too. Everything from the design of the camera module (it now has more of stylized “lens” effect) to the smooth USB-C cutout seems carefully considered and manufactured with precision. The phones scream quality, and I am continually impressed by Samsung’s ability to iterate in this area. Samsung clearly spends a lot of time and energy on its design and manufacturing processes, and it shows.

Perhaps most notably, these phones mark the end of one of the last vestigial elements of the Galaxy brand: capacitive navigation keys and the physical home button. It really makes the S8 and S8+ the cleanest-looking handsets Samsung’s ever produced. Above the display sit the standard array of sensors, including a new 8MP front-facing camera with software-simulated autofocus (we’ll see how that goes) and the iris scanner array. Out back, Samsung says the 12MP rear camera is basically unchanged physically from last year’s, with most optimizations happening on the photo processing side. I’m certainly curious to see how photos compare to last year’s phones, then.

You still get IP68 waterproofing, and 64GB of storage is now standard (with microSD expansion available). Samsung has retained the headphone jack, but made the switch to USB-C it began with the Note7 last year. Wireless charging is intact, too.

As to the deceptively giant displays, at 5.8 and 6.2″, respectively, the phones are considerably taller this year. But they’re also narrowed, meaning they’re easier to get a grip on, and they really aren’t especially heavy or unwieldy. Ceding so much of what was previously bezel space to the expanded display seems an obvious choice in retrospect, but to me it definitely necessitated the end of the capacitive keys, otherwise all that extra height tends to feel a bit wasted. Speaking of those keys.

The software

To answer your first and greatest question: Yes, you can switch the order of the navigation keys. You can either have them in Samsung (read: wrong) order, or change them to the standard Android layout of back, home, and recent apps (left to right). Samsung also lets you customize the color of the navigation bar background, which is nice. Sure, the iconography is nowhere near stock, but I couldn’t really give a damn what the buttons look like as long as they do what I expect them to. And no, Bixby is not mapped to long-pressing the home key: that’s 100% Google Assistant. (Bixby’s functional overlap with Assistant is actually quite minimal – for now.)

The latest version of I-Can’t-Believe-It’s-Not-TouchWiz is based on Android 7.0 (not 7.1, sigh) and feels basically similar to what we had on the Note7 and now have on the Galaxy S7 phones. “Grace UX” is the easiest on the eyes TouchWiz has ever been, and while there are still a bunch of old features in there I hardly think warrant the real estate in the settings app, Samsung continues to provide its own useful additions.

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I didn’t spend much time with the software in-depth, as I really didn’t have time. And Samsung’s Bixby assistant was only demoed to us in a controlled, scripted test environment, which is useless from an evaluation perspective. I can give you the overview, though: it’s basically Google Goggles meets Google Now meets voice-powered accessibility controls. It’s definitely an interesting mesh of features, though Samsung’s hardest push seems to be around the idea that people will want to use their voice to control things like their screen brightness, toggling the hotspot, picking a camera mode or filter, and generally controlling their device. I am, to put it bluntly, unconvinced anyone will use this. But maybe it’ll win me over when our review units come in and I actually have a chance to put it to the test.

But, if you were worried that Bixby was an attempt to subvert Google Assistant and replace it: please, don’t be. Not yet, at least. Google Assistant and Bixby happily coexist on the Galaxy S8, and are frankly rather different products.

Oh, and this is kind of interesting, I guess: Samsung has also implemented the fingerprint scanner gesture to bring down the notification bar. It’s off by default, I think, but it’s there.

Like the Galaxy S7 and S7 edge after their respective Nougat updates, the S8 and S8+ don’t actually display in their native, physical resolutions by default (they’re set to full HD mode). I remain very divided on this choice: while I know the vast majority of people who own these phones will never, ever notice and reap considerable battery life returns as a result, why put in these more expensive ultra-high-res panels in the first place? Samsung’s answer, of course, relies heavily on VR, because you need that Quad HD display mode to provide a good VR experience. But I don’t think anyone, even Samsung, has actually produced compelling evidence that consumers care about VR (apart from the companies making VR products). I guess it comes down to the question of how much more a Quad HD panel of this type would cost to produce than a 1080p version. If it’s not a big difference, then I guess I get where Samsung is coming from.

One feature I found quite interesting is the new home button wake gesture. Simply press your finger on the home button that is shown in the always-on display mode for a moment, and the screen will wake, indicated by a light burst of haptic feedback. While obviously you won’t get far if you have a fingerprint scanner lock set, you might be more likely to use Samsung’s iris scan or face unlock features (the latter is new to the S8). Given rumors that Samsung intended to place the fingerprint scanner inside the display itself with the S8 but failed to achieve the necessary yields, I have to wonder if this is the compromise they’ve settled on: pushing customers away from the ubiquitous fingerprint scanner, for now, until their more impressive technology is ready for primetime.

As for me, I probably wouldn’t use the home button wake regardless – the fingerprint scanner is simply my preferred mode of authentication. The reader is definitely a bit of a reach on these phones, though, and even with my relatively long fingers I found the S8+ would definitely take some getting used to in terms of default hand positioning. Samsung’s iris scanner tech is fast and very accurate, but I’m not always looking at my phone when I unlock it.

Performance on the phones is not something I feel comfortable expressing any definitive opinion on at this time. They felt fine – not crazy fast, not particularly slow – but given the notoriety Samsung’s phones have achieved for slowing down over time, my experience in a controlled demo environment is simply not going to be helpful in assessing these things. It’s probably better for me to end that discussion here and save the extended thoughts for our review.

I obviously can’t judge battery life yet, but Samsung shared an interesting figure with me: the new batteries in the Galaxy S8 and S8+ feature much better cycle longevity than the ones in last year’s phones. Whereas after a year of typical charge and discharge cycles last year’s Galaxy S7 and S7 edge would see around 20% of their effective capacity lost, Samsung says that figure is more like 5% of capacity lost over a year on the S8 and S8+. That’s definitely encouraging.

Final thoughts

The Galaxy S8 and S8+ are big, beautiful phones. The larger displays are absolutely great, and the switch to virtual navigation keys is long overdue. I’m sure they’ll have great cameras, and I expect battery life will probably be largely comparable to last year’s phones (i.e., good). TouchWiz is, as far as user experience goes, the best it’s ever been. That may not be saying much for some of you, but I generally find Samsung’s UI modifications at the very least aesthetically palatable nowadays, and some of the added features are genuinely useful. A switch to 64GB of storage as standard is absolutely welcome and, I think, should be the bar to meet for any flagship phone in 2017. Bixby, despite the fears of many (myself included), doesn’t really seem meant to displace Google Assistant or search on your phone. The Snapdragon 835 version of the S8 and S8+ we’ll get here in the US packs a lot of new and potent technology, too – it’s not just faster than the 820 and 821, it’s more efficient and more capable.

What am I not loving yet? Launching with Android 7.0 feels oh so typical Samsung: they can preach all they want about how they test their software endlessly in order to ensure updates are smooth and low on bugs, but I just can’t shake the feeling that Samsung really has no intention of changing its approach to Android platform updates. Performance is going to be a big question, too (and it’s one Samsung seems uninterested in discussing). I won’t even be able to conclusively come to an answer in our review, simply due to the amount of time we’ll have to use the phones before publishing. That’ll take weeks and months of additional testing. Finally, there’s a lot of uncertainty remaining around the value proposition these phones will offer, and without pricing, that’s hard to comment on just yet.

There’s also a lingering feeling that the S8 and S8+ feel iterative in terms of actual user experience versus being showcases for advancements in industrial design and engineering. Samsung itself seems very eager to present the reduced bezel and larger displays as the raison d’etre for the Galaxy S8. But it’s hard to tell if beauty is more than skin deep with these phones. Why is the screen curved? Because it’s pretty (fragile, and the edge UI experience sucks). Why is the aluminum frame now polished? Because it’s pretty (and will get scratched). Why aren’t the batteries any bigger? Because thin phones are pretty (even though everyone wants bigger batteries).

These are thoughts that I’ve had a harder time shaking than I expected. There’s no doubt the Galaxy S8 and S8+ are exceptional achievements from the standpoint of design and phone-building knowhow, but I think I can distill my feelings about them down to this: I’m really unsure why I’d want one of these that much more than a Galaxy S7 edge or, if it still existed, a Note7. If there’s some major improvement to performance I missed, maybe that could be it, but on most other fronts – aside from the switch to virtual nav keys – I’m left scratching my head a bit.

But, maybe that’s just a result of not having enough time with them. Hopefully, we’ll be reviewing these phones soon enough, as I’m eager to get a deeper sense of the changes Samsung’s made and how they translate into a real-world product experience.

Source : androidpolice

https://squipitme.com/2017/03/30/galaxy-s8-s8-hands-betting-big-big/