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#miserable and anxious šŸ˜­
unexpectedbrickattack Ā· 1 year
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other anon was right your peppino is sooo kissable especially when hes all bashful ggrgrgrg i just wanna take him out on a date and spoil himmmm waaaaargg
Theres like 3 variations of this same ask and you are all so valid šŸ’– Spoil šŸ‘šŸ¾ ThatšŸ‘šŸ¾ Man!šŸ‘šŸ¾šŸ‘šŸ¾šŸ‘šŸ¾
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kyouka-supremacy Ā· 3 months
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I fucked up
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lilyblisslys Ā· 13 days
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walterdecourceys Ā· 1 month
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some of these #relatable "social anxiety/introvert memes" are starting to make me think you guys just don't like your friends
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drivemysoul Ā· 6 months
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eren canā€™t die heā€™s the main character also who would mikasa have her happily ever after with. like if they kill eren and iā€™m forced to believe that mikasa had sex with armin or Fucking Jean iā€™ll shoot myself.
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heartshaped-lou Ā· 9 months
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vulpixelates Ā· 5 months
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trying to find a balance between "module that's easy to understand and follow bc i am terrified of DMing and might cry" and "module that's not boring af especcially in the first adventure bc that might be as far as i manage to get through before losing my mind and i at least want my forever DM to have fun as a player for once" is killing me lmao
#apiewofoaiwjefaoijfew#i REALLY do not think she will find the beginning of waterdeep dragon heist compelling unless i make changes but like aoeifja#i'm so overwhelmed by the idea of making changes#i just want something i can follow from start to finish so i can MAYBE learn that DMing isn't as terrifying as i think it is šŸ˜­šŸ˜­#trying to desperately not to talk myself out of this lmao#uuuugggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#she also suggested the lost mines module bc it's meant for newbies but i'm just like OIFJAEOWIFAOWIJEF#she doesn't even really use goblins in her own games she's not going to find this beginning part interesting at all šŸ˜­šŸ˜­#and i'm so nervous about any other modules bc it's just going to be her playing + an npc i'm controlling who is a fighter but like aofeijao#they still might get crushed even if i have her start at like level 3 for a level 1 adventure. i have no idea how any of this works anymore#idk OIFJAOEWIFAE the last time i tried to run stuff it was all homebrew and i was so fucking bad at it#i feel like everything i did made everyone miserable lmao#any time i tried to like just go w the flow it didn't work#esp bc i get so anxious about it aofiejaoijfwe#i am so not cut out for this but my wife literally never gets an opportunity to play and she has DM'd me almost every single day for like#five to six years now faoewijfaoiwjef she deserves a chance to play and has been really sad about not having one in the past#so i have to try at least#*dykeposting
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onepiexe Ā· 2 years
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idk why but i feel useless after today LOL
#logbook#keep thinking abt my shift. . .like that was all there was to it? idk. just did so much more at nnl. enjoyed that more too.#like i told c there was no p and there was no mv so i had to handle everything. i had no allies in management.#now im reorganizing plants in the greenhouse and getting nitpicked on what plants for clearance? idk man.#not saying i dont wsnt to work a day there bc i do miss everybody but still. you can tell c and i have diff approaches.#and that i have outgrown or just. been used to other things. like i took everything c and p and mv and s taught me and used that.#had to teach my team from scratch. bc thats what it was. my team. my tables. my displays. my decisions. my garden center.#and thafs what everybody joked too lol#idk. i probably just need food. but now im really anxious abt tmrw bc i will be miserable if i just. cant do shit anymore.#if i dont like it then i apply to jobs and quit early like i'd planned. bc im not going to be abused but im also not going to just. not do#good work lol.#its not like c was actually offended by me doing or saying things. she made a point to say she wouldnt be upsrt if i went for the full time#green team position at the store either. but yeah idk. i miss nnl. i really do.#i still havent told anybody abt it and i probably wont until next week. i want to swing by in person.#edit: tbc im just irritated with myself bc i didnt want to seem ungrateful or like i was stepping on c's toes. i come at this with the#intention of making rhe garden center better. but she's had more years on me and the store is overall diff.#i just dont want to be a difficult coworker but unfortunately my bar is high. and higher still from nnl lol.#fingers crossed it goes well with the new coworker and store tmrw. . .#honestly this is more stressful then walking into my old store šŸ˜­
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doyouknowhoyouare Ā· 6 months
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texted my boss last night that i was not feeling well so i wouldnā€™t be able to make it in todayā€¦ she never replied ;( just texted her again to see if she got my original text and now we wait to see if she replies this time ;(
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javierpena-inatacvest Ā· 7 months
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Chapter 20 pt. 1- I Do
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Summary: It's finally here, the day you've been waiting for since the day Javi came into your life and changed it for the better- It's your wedding day, and things couldn't be more perfect. Except for the fact that you and Javi can barley contain your excitement as you wait to see each other.
Word Count: 11.4K (If this wasn't 2 parts, this would be 30k long and wouldn't be finished until May)
Warnings: SMUT (18+) oral (f receiving), vaginal fingering, praise kink, marriage kink (?), kind of semi-public sex (they're gettin' busy in the bathroom), Kind of getting caught (Steve needs to mind his own business), wedding things!!, family dynamics, mentions of death/grief, lots of emotions, Javi being an anxious, blubbering, hot mess, Javi being so in love and is so excited to spend the rest of his life with you that it physically hurts me (this chapter is lots of fluff and feelings and not as much smut, sorry!! Don't worry, there's PLENTY more to come next chapter šŸ¤Ŗ)
A/N: Hi friends!!! Well, she's finally here, the moment we've all been waiting for- our two favorite idiots are finally getting married šŸ˜­šŸ’• While I would have loved to make this one chapter, it literally would have been SO long, and Lord knows when I actually would have finished with it. So this chapter is the morning leading up to the ceremony, and part 2 will be the ceremony and reception!! I'm not even gonna lie, I bawled several times writing this chapter. These two mean so much to me, and I'm so honored that you care enough about them to be invested in my silly little story, too šŸ„ŗ HAPPY WEDDING DAY!!!
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For the better part of his life, Javier PeƱa was convinced there was nothing more soul-crushingly painful and miserable than a wedding. On a day that was supposed to be filled with happiness and joy, Javi had spent more years than heā€™d like to admit doing anything to avoid the occasion all together. Because for him, weddings had meant none of those things. Weddings had only served as yet another reminder of the failure he had chalked himself up to be.Ā 
Leaving Lorraine at the altar and running away to Colombia.Ā 
Watching the successes of everyone elseā€™s blissful domestic lives play out in front of him, while heā€™d never felt so alone.Ā 
Convincing himself that he would never be worthy of love because of the terrible person that heā€™d become.Ā 
Weddings had been something that Javier PeƱa hated more than most things in life.Ā 
But that was until he met you.Ā 
Because today, on the morning of his own wedding, Javi was quite literally bursting at the seams with excitement, goofy grin stretched from ear to ear knowing that in a few short hours, he got to marry the most amazing, beautiful, perfect woman he had ever met. And even though the reality had set in that today was finally the day the two of you started your forever together, he was positive that heā€™d never get over the reality that you would always be his.Ā 
As he pulled his truck up the driveway to your new home where he should have been sleeping for the better half of last night, there was a part of him that couldnā€™t have been more thankful he had been able to sneak in just a few more hours with you before sunrise, knowing the anxious anticipation of waiting to see you all day, let alone see you in your wedding dress at the other end of the aisle, was enough to already have his heart beating a million miles a minute at the ripe hours of the morning.Ā 
While he should have known better his Dad would already be well awake by the time he snuck back home, Chuchoā€™s welcoming grin from the front porch was already laced with enough forgiveness for Javi to hope heā€™d be spared at least some shit from his father.Ā 
ā€œā€Morning, mijo.ā€ Chucho chuckled, watching Javiā€™s sheepish stride up the driveway towards the house, slowly sipping on his cup of coffee with a boyish grin on his face, knowing damn well where his son had been without having to say a word.Ā 
ā€œI already know what youā€™re gonna say, Pops.ā€ Javi sighed, shaking his head in embarrassment as he approached his dad, letting out a soft grunt as he took a seat next to his father on the top step of the front porch.Ā 
ā€œI havenā€™t said anything, Javier. Do you have something you want to say?ā€ Chucho couldnā€™t help but snicker, raising his eyebrows at his son, as he watched his cheeks turn a petrified pink.Ā 
ā€œNope, I am- oh, fuck me- nope I am, uh, all good.ā€ Javi stammered, burying his hands in his face before running them through the sleepy curls of his hair and over the nape of his neck, his eyes still peeled to the ground, avoiding Chuchoā€™s smug grin.Ā 
ā€œThen all I have to say is,ā€ Cucho paused, taking another swig of coffee, ā€œI hope you never stop loving her the way that you do now.ā€ Javi looked up at his dad in confusion, wondering how his sneaking out wasnā€™t shaping up to be some sort of teenage scolding from his father. ā€œI already know that you know you are a very, very lucky man Javier, but I also hope that you know you are going to make a wonderful husband. Eres un buen hombre. Estoy muy feliz por ti, mijo. Tu madre tambiĆ©n lo estarĆ­a. Muy feliz.ā€ (You are a good man. I am so happy for you, son. Your mom would be, too. So happy.)Ā 
Letting his eyes shift off his feet where they had been stuck, Javi looked back up at his father, tears welling in his eyes at Chuchoā€™s reassuring smile, reaching out to wrap his arm around his son, pulling him close enough to let Javiā€™s head fall on his shoulder, the two sitting for a quiet moment in silence.Ā 
Javi couldnā€™t help but feel a twinge in his heart, thinking about the fact his mom wouldnā€™t be with him for the biggest day of his life. His mother had left this world when Javi was at his lowest- alone and halfway across the globe, fighting for a cause he wasnā€™t even sure he believed in. It had always haunted him that his mom had died worried that her son had become a broken man, and would never be proud of the person heā€™d turned out to be. When he returned home, he felt even worse thinking that his one living parent probably felt that way, too.Ā 
But what brought him solace in a time that he needed it most, was you. You had given him a reason to make his parents proud, to make himself proud. While his mom would never be able to tell him the words he so desperately longed to hear, he knew in his heart that the life heā€™d built because of you was all the comfort he needed to prove to himself Lucia was smiling down on him when he needed it most. And as he looked up at the sky, the pink and orange rays of the beautiful sunrise beginning to spill over the horizon, he had never been more sure that even though his mom couldnā€™t physically be by his side, that Lucia PeƱa would still be with him every step of the way.Ā Ā 
ā€œFuck, I miss her, Pops. I wish she was here.ā€Ā 
ā€œShe is, Javier. She always will be.ā€Ā 
After soaking in a few more quiet moments together staring out into the shimmering sunrise, Chucho let out a content sigh, giving Javi a gentle pat on the back and rustling the dark curls of his sonā€™s thick hair.Ā 
ā€œBut, if there is one thing I know about your Mother, itā€™s thatĀ  I can practically hear her screeching at us wasting our time being sad about her on the happiest day of your life. Chucho, por quĆ© piedres el tiempo estar triste? Basta de quejarte! Nuestro hijo se estĆ” casando, pendejo!ā€ (Why are you wasting your time being sad! Stop moping! Our son is getting married, stupid.) Chucho mocked, shaking his head at the sky at the scolding he knew heā€™d be getting from his wife, making him and Javi burst into laughter. ā€œAnd, if thereā€™s another thing I know about your mother,ā€ Chucho paused again, letting out a loud grunt as he pushed himself up to stand, resting his arm on Javiā€™s shoulder, ā€œitā€™s that her and I would both agree there better be a nieto (grandchild) in our lives 9 months from now. Dios mĆ­o (oh my God), Javier, even on the night before your wedding you two canā€™t keep your hands to yourselves! I am truly surprised I donā€™t have 14 grandchildren already.ā€Ā 
ā€œJesus fucking Christ, Popsā€¦.ā€ Javi whispered to himself over his dadā€™s schoolgirl snickers, watching his sonā€™s face fall flush once again, standing up to follow behind his dad back inside as Chuhco began to waddle his way across the porch.Ā 
Although Javi could have tried to plead his case to his dad to prove his innocence, truth be told, today, he really didnā€™t care. Today, the only thing he cared about was that in just a few short hours, he got to meet you, his wife, at the end of the aisle and spend his forever with the woman he loved more than life itself. For the first time in his life, Javier PeƱa couldnā€™t have been more excited for a wedding.Ā 
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You werenā€™t sure how many more times you had read the scratchy print scribbled across the bright yellow post-it Javi had left behind on his pillow before he had snuck out for the morning, but you did know that your heart beat faster and faster in anxious anticipation with every glance over his words, counting down the second until you got to see him again.Ā 
You had kept yourself in your room, convinced that your excited impatience would have you awake well before everyone else still sleeping at the ranch, but as you heard clanging and bickering starting to echo from the kitchen, you should have known better that your mom and Connie would be up to something to kick start your wedding day.Ā 
With a yawn and stretch of your arms above your head, you flopped yourself out of bed, exchanging Javiā€™s worn t-shirt and sleep shorts for the white pajama set your mom had insisted she buy for you to get ready in as a compromise for your adamant despise at the white silky robe that had ā€œbrideā€ stitched across it in big pink letters that she had begged to buy you.Ā 
Shuffling down the hallway, the commotion in the kitchen only became increasingly louder, now realizing almost everyone must be awake for whatever antics were taking place for the early hours of the morning. As you turned the corner, you were greeted by an adorable ā€œHappy Wedding Day!ā€ banner that had been made by the girls hanging on the wall, decorated with adorable crayon drawings of flowers, you and Javi, and all of the horses of the PeƱa ranch dressed in wedding apparel. As your eyes scanned across the rest of the room, the kitchen table was already full of breakfast, balloons dangled from the ceiling, and your mom and Connie were actively working on filling up what was most likely one too many glasses of mimosas.Ā Ā 
ā€œHappy wedding day, Auntie Bear!ā€ A little voice cooed behind you, looking down to see a still very sleepy Olivia, hair still crazed and bed ridden as she wrapped herself around your hip, squeezing you in a tight hug.Ā 
ā€œAhhhhh, thereā€™s the bride!!ā€ Your mom shrieked, her pitch enough to make everyone in the room wince as she barreled towards you, joining Olivia to engulf you in her grasp. After everyone had recovered from your momā€™s shrill greeting, everyone else had soon joined in on squeezing you in a giant group hug, the gesture in itself making you smile, but the physical restraint in the middle of a human sandwich being a little too much for you this early in the morning.Ā 
ā€œThanks guys. I uh, I would like to make it out alive for my wedding so maybe if we donā€™t squish me to death, that would be great.ā€ You grunted, trying to wriggle out of the arms squishing your body, hoping that someone would get the hint.Ā 
ā€œAlright, I think sheā€™s probably had enough.ā€ Connie laughed, finally noticing the look on your face, prompting everyone to give you at least a little breathing room.Ā 
ā€œIā€™m just so excited for you! I canā€™t believe youā€™re getting married, sweetie!ā€ Your mom, clearly not picking up on the hint, was now back to squeezing you in a bear hug again tight enough to make your eyes pop out of your head. ā€œOkay, sorry, sorry, Iā€™m done now, just had to get one last one out of my systemā€¦ for now. Here, have a seat, honey,ā€ Your mom gestured towards the kitchen table, pulling out a chair for you to sit in, ā€œwe have about an hour before we have to start doing hair and makeup but we have plenty of breakfast for you to choose from before we get the day started. Howā€™d you sleep?ā€Ā 
ā€œOh, um- fine, I um, I slept fine.ā€ You lied, now sheepishly staring down at the overflowing plate of breakfast food your mom had set in front of you, taking a hefty bite of pancake before looking back up, your eyes meeting Connieā€™s, a suspicious smirk gleaming on her face as she stared at you, crossing your arms over your chest as you swallowed your food with a more audible than intended gulp.Ā 
ā€œOh good!ā€ Your mom replied, obvious to yours and Connieā€™s silent interaction as she meandered around the kitchen. ā€œWell, eat up, Iā€™m off to go check on some things outside, but by the time I get back in here, that plate better be cleared! Girls, come help Grandma, let your Aunt finish her breakfast!ā€Ā 
ā€œOkay!ā€ Your nieces giggled, following behind your mom into the backyard, leaving you and Connie alone in the kitchen, hearing her silently laugh to herself as she sat down next to you at the table.Ā 
ā€œGood sleep, huh? Good sleep that definitely had nothing to do with Javiā€™s truck that left here at 6:00 AM this morning?ā€ Connie snickered, giving you a little wink as your cheeks turned pink with embarrassment, letting out a defeated sigh.Ā 
ā€œI promise itā€™s not what you think. I actually couldnā€™t sleep and I called Javi and he ended up coming over so I wouldnā€™t be up the whole night. I told him he didnā€™t have to, but I was up and stressed and having him here was the only thing that was going to help. It was just sleep, I promise.ā€Ā 
ā€œItā€™s okay, I believe you. I couldnā€™t sleep the night before my wedding either. Iā€™m pretty sure if I did what you had done, Steve would have slept right through the phone call, or still would have been too drunk to drive over.ā€ The two of you quietly giggled to yourselves as Connie reached out for your hand, holding it in hers, ā€œI hope you know that he loves you so much. It always broke my heart to see Javi go through what he did, and how hard on himself he was because of it. You really are the best thing that could have ever happened to him. Iā€™m so happy for the two of you, I couldnā€™t be more excited for today, honey.ā€Ā 
Reaching across the table, Connie wrapped her arms around you, squeezing you in another hug, trying to hold back your sniffles as you felt happy tears beginning to well in your eyes.Ā 
ā€œThank you, Connie.ā€Ā 
ā€œOf course. Now, you better pick what you want from that breakfast and throw away the rest before your mom gets back, I donā€™t think either one of us wants to be responsible for telling her that her food wasnā€™t sufficient enough for you.ā€Ā 
You snorted, rolling your eyes at the thought of the dismay your mom would be in thinking that you didnā€™t get enough to eat before your big day as you put a reasonable amount of breakfast on a new plate to eat, discarding the other heaping pile that your mom had left you.Ā 
ā€œYou are a smart woman, Connie Murphy.ā€Ā 
ā€œSo Iā€™ve been told.ā€Ā 
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The rest of the morning seemed to move by at an exponential pace- At the Pena ranch, hair and makeup was well underway for everyone, and running on time with incredible efficiency from the detailed schedule that your mom and Connie had put together. Even though your body was riddled with endless amounts of anxious anticipation and excitement as the clock ticked closer and closer to when Javi and the rest of the boys would finally get here, you were pleasantly surprised at how fun the morning had ended up being with all the girls, especially since your nieces and the Murphy girls had insisted on putting on a hilarious sing along spectacular for the majority of the time for entertainment while you got ready.Ā 
Over at your new house, however, with the only getting ready that Javi needed to do being taking a shower and putting on his suit, the boys were convinced that he was going to put a hole in the floor from his anxious pacing as he counted down the minutes to leave.Ā 
ā€œJav, have a beer, man, you just put this floor in, I think your wifeā€™s gonna be pissed when she finds out she has to replace it before yā€™all even move in because you canā€™t sit still.ā€ Steve chuckled, taking a sip out of his can before nudging your brothers sitting next to him on the couch as they watched their friend and future brother in law tread back and forth across the living room for what felt like the 117th time since theyā€™d sat down.Ā 
ā€œI think I have to agree with Steve on this one, Javier, you are making me anxious and Iā€™m not even the one getting married.ā€ Chucho chimed in from the armchair seated next to the couch.Ā 
ā€œIā€™ll second what Steve said, man. Have a beer, Javi. You havenā€™t shut up all day about how fuckinā€™ excited you are, so whatā€™s got you so worked up? Youā€™ve seen her in a dress before dude, this oneā€™s just white.ā€ Your brother David snorted, his joke now soliciting some eye rolls from the rest of the boys, considering David was about single as they came, and was the only one of the group who wasnā€™t even remotely close to being married.Ā 
ā€œItā€™s a fucking wedding dress, you dingus, thereā€™s obviously a difference.ā€ Your dad groaned, walking up to your brother to give him a prompt smack in the back of the head, making your other brother Charlie snicker to himself, until he also decided to greet him with an equally harsh slap for good measure.Ā 
ā€œWhat the fuck was that for? I didnā€™t say anything!ā€ Charlie winced, holding his hands up in defense.Ā 
ā€œTell your brother to stop being an ass! Sheā€™s your sister too, for Christā€™s Sake, youā€™re not gonna stand up for her either?! Jesus you two are the biggest idiots Iā€™ve ever met. Even Patrick would have had enough common sense to keep that one in his head. Well, maybe not, but thatā€™s besides the point.ā€ That one at least cracked a little smile from your brothers, wishing that Patrick would have been here to see their sisterā€™s big day, and to distribute the slapping pain more equally between the pair.Ā 
ā€œI justā€¦ Fuck, I just wanna see her. I canā€™t wait to see her. Iā€™ve never wanted anything so bad in my whole life. The suspense is fucking killing me.ā€ Javi signed, resting one hand on his hip before running his hand through his hair, anxiously drumming his fingers on his side, foot tapping on the well worn path he had been treading on the hardwood floor of the living room.Ā 
Chucho chuckled, resting his hands on his knees and pushing himself up to stand with a low grunt, making his way over to his son, resting his hand on his shoulder as he looked up at him. ā€œEres como tu madre.. Impaciente. (You are just like your motherā€¦ Impatient). Mijo, I remember when I married your mother, she was so excited that she actually asked if we could start the wedding an hour early, just so we could see each other sooner. I can almost hear her laughing at the fact that her son is no better than her. How I wish she were here to see this. Soon, Javier. I promise.ā€Ā 
ā€œDo you think sheā€™s gonna like the gift? You made sure she has it for today, right? And everything from her brothers too?ā€ Javi asked, nervously biting at the tip of his thumb as he glanced down at his father before looking over at David and Charlie sitting on the couch, smiling back at him.Ā 
ā€œYes, Javier. I triple checked last night. Iā€™m sure that she will love it. I know she will love it. All of it. Now, why donā€™t you go put on your suit and we can leave a little ahead of schedule, I will just make sure to drive extra slow. Even slower than normal. I think if we wait any longer you may actually combust.ā€ He teased, pulling Javi into a tight hug before releasing him, giving him a gentle pat on the back.Ā 
ā€œAlright boys, you heard the man, get your sorry asses moving and letā€™s get these monkey suits on, itā€™s time to get this boy married!ā€ David cheered, holding up his beer to toast Javi before promptly chugging the rest of it down his throat and slamming it down on the table, soliciting another round of eye rolls and muffled laughter from the crowd.Ā 
Silently nodding and smiling to himself, letting out one last reassuring breath before looking at the boys standing in front of him.Ā 
ā€œFuck. Iā€™m gonna get married.ā€Ā 
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Back at the ranch, the last of getting ready was beginning to wrap up, all the girls' hair and makeup finally finished, and the youngest of the crew giddily dancing in their flower girl dresses, twirling and swirling in excitement at their pristine outfits as they gathered around you, patiently awaiting for you to get into your own wedding dress.Ā Ā 
For as long as youā€™d wanted to get married, youā€™d always known that you wanted your wedding dress to be simple- No excessive frills, poof, glitter, or anything that made you feel like you were playing dress up for the worldā€™s goofiest fashion show, simply because it was your wedding, and your dress needed to reflect the extravagance of the event. Your style choice came as a surprise to no one, given the fact you had practically lived in your brotherā€™s hand-me-downā€™s until the 8th grade, and even when your mom had flown down a few months ago to go dress shopping with you and Connie, she had even laid down the hammer with one of the wedding dress consultants that you wouldnā€™t even step anywhere near a dress that was an ounce too over the top.Ā 
Thatā€™s why you were absolutely shocked that despite your firm parameters around what you wanted to wear for your big day, that you fell in love with the very first dress you tried on, and never looked back.Ā 
It was everything you wanted and never you needed in a dress- a simple a-line skirt with thin straps that ran across your shoulders and scooped down your back, along with a delicate, lacy floral pattern stitched across your top that flowed down the wispy length of your gown. There were few times that you had ever admitted it to yourself, but you had truly never felt more beautiful than when you were wearing that dress, and when you had tried it on for the first time, only to turn around to see the tears welling in your mom and Connieā€™s eyes as you revealed it to them, it was every confirmation that you needed that this dress was made for you.Ā 
And while you had been counting down the days in excitement, waiting to put your dress on for your big day, Javi had been counting down along with you, to the point where Connie had made the executive decision to keep the dress at her house to prevent any preemptive peeking, considering that Javi had spent every day since you had bought your dress telling you how he couldnā€™t wait to see how beautiful you were going to look in it, without even knowing a single clue about what you had boughten, besides your lovingly sarcastic and vague ā€œItā€™s a dress, and itā€™s white, Jav.ā€Ā 
But after all the time you had spent imagining what it would be like to finally put your dress on for your actual wedding day, you almost couldnā€™t believe that you were finally here, carefully taking the straps off the hanger where it had been resting, holding the beautiful, white fabric out in front of you with a goofy grin spread across your face, eyeing down the outfit that meant you got to spend forever with your best friend.Ā 
ā€œYou ready to put it on?ā€ Connie asked softly, her hand resting on your shoulder as she stepped behind you, excitedly gazing at your dress right alongside you.Ā 
ā€œYeah.ā€ You smiled, gently nodding your head as you looked back at Connie, taking one last deep breath before passing off the dress to her before shimmying out of your clothes, letting them fall to a pile on the floor before turning to Connie, stepping into the opening of the dress and carefully pulling each strap over your shoulders while she pulled the zipper along your back, letting out a little sigh of relief as it clasped at the top. With one more long inhale, you slowly turned around to face everyone, eagerly awaiting your reveal, picking up your gown with a little floof as it gently draped around you, meeting the tears and smiles painted across everyoneā€™s faces while they gazed at you.Ā 
ā€œAuntie Bear, you look like a princess! Uncle Javi is gonna think that you look like the most beautifulest person heā€™s ever seen.ā€ Olivia squealed, jumping up and down in excitement before running over to you, wrapping her little arms around your waist in a tight hug.Ā 
ā€œOh sweetheartā€¦. You look absolutely stunning.ā€ Your mom sniffled through her tears, holding her hands crossed over her chest, soaking in your full wedding ensemble.Ā 
ā€œYou look gorgeous. Like, seriously. I hope you know that Javiā€™s gonna lose his mind when he sees you in this.ā€ Connie giggled, giving you a wink and a playful nudge, looking you up and down in astonishment.Ā 
Stepping over to see yourself in the mirror, your heart skipped a beat to see yourself, your stomach churning with anxious, excited butterflies knowing that you were only getting closer and closer to finally seeing Javi and his reaction, trying your best to not your smirk grow too wide between your warm cheeks, thinking about his reaction.Ā 
ā€œYou really think heā€™s gonna like it?ā€ You asked, your eyes still fixed at your reflection in the mirror, gently swaying your lacy, floral skirt back and forth, running your hand against the delicate fabric.Ā 
ā€œHoney, Iā€™ve watched that man ogle over you in a hockey jersey. I told the boys theyā€™re in charge of making sure he doesnā€™t faint when you walk down the aisle.ā€ Your mom teased, Connie nodding her head in agreement.Ā 
ā€œIā€™m gonna second your mom on this one, girl. Steve has a running bet with the guys on how long it takes Javi to cry after he sees you. I think the over/under is 2 seconds, but after seeing you right now, Iā€™m convinced heā€™s all waterworks from the moment he lays eyes on you.ā€Ā 
Connieā€™s comment made you laugh to yourself, shaking your head at the idea of Javi instantly bursting into tears from just the sight of you, but when you thought about seeing Javi in his tux (that you had already seen before, multiple times) and what a mess you were going to be, maybe the boyā€™s betting line didnā€™t seem so unfair after all.Ā 
ā€œSpeaking of tearsā€¦ā€ Connie smirked at your mom, nodding at her to signify some little secret they seemed to be in on, ā€œThereā€™s one last thing you need to see beforeā€¦ Well, weā€™ll let you open it up and find out.ā€Ā 
With that, your mom reached over to one of the tables where a white box with a neatly wrapped bow had been hidden, your mom passing it to Connie before then passing it over to you, making you tilt your head in confusion as you took the box in your hands, looking back and forth between your mom, Connie and the box waiting for some sort of explanation.Ā 
ā€œWhat is this?ā€ you questioned, still puzzled as you noticed the gift tag hidden under the bow, gently peeling it open, their suspicious smirks beginning to spread as you read the all too familiar scratchy handwriting inside.Ā 
To: Osita
Love: Javi
Now even more confused, you carefully began unwrapping the bow from around the packaging, letting the ribbon fall to the floor, followed by the lid of the box, revealing another longer note from Javi, resting on top of a bed of neatly folded tissue paper. You sat down in one of the chairs close by, letting the box rest on your lap as you held the note in your hands, already beginning to tremble as you felt the tears start to well in your eyes as you began to read.Ā 
Osita,Ā 
I knew from the moment I met you, that I wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you. I canā€™t believe that day is finally here. I hope that this day is everything that you could ever dream it to be.Ā 
I hope you know that if I could I would give you everything. The moon, the sun, the stars- if you wanted it, I would give it to you.Ā 
But I know that no matter how hard I try, there is one thing I know canā€™t give to you, and thatā€™s the presence of the people who arenā€™t with us anymore.Ā 
And while I canā€™t bring back your brother or my mom to be here today, I hope that whatā€™s in this box will remind you that theyā€™ll always be here for you, no matter what.Ā 
I know my mom would have wanted you to have this. Thereā€™s not a day that goes by that I wish she could have met you. She would have loved you so much. I hope she knows that youā€™re the best thing that could have ever happened to me.Ā 
Your family was able to find something of your brotherā€™s for you to have on here too- I wish I could have met him. I hope he knows how much I love you, and the beautiful and resilient woman youā€™ve become. I hope he knows how proud I am of you.Ā 
I canā€™t wait to see you, amor. I canā€™t even imagine how beautiful you look right now. Iā€™m the luckiest man in the world.Ā 
I love you more than words, and I promise Iā€™ll spend every day for the rest of my life making sure you know it.Ā 
Happy Wedding Day, Osita. Soy tuyo para siempre (Iā€™m yours forever).Ā 
-JĀ 
You could feel your heart practically exploding after reading what Javi had wrote for you, wiping away the wetness from your cheeks, you took a deep breath as you carefully set down his note next to you before ever so slowly peeling back the layers of tissue paper folded on top of one another, hiding the gift hidden beneath them. As the last layer of the delicate paper was shed, you let out a gasp, you hand covering your mouth in shock as you put together the pieces of Javiā€™s note and the present now sitting in your lap, looking up at everyone else in the room, nodding back at you with sympathetic smiles and tears in their eyes at your realization.Ā 
Not only had Javi had given you his motherā€™s wedding veil to wear, but stitched in the bottom corner was a patch of Patrickā€™s old hockey jerseys, a small number 2 from his arm sleeve, the number he had worn for every jersey he had ever played in.Ā 
ā€œOh myā€¦ Oh my god? I canā€™t, I- how did you- oh my god.ā€ You whispered to yourself, your voice trembling in disbelief, tears now streaming down your face as you held the veil in your hands, your thumb gently tracing over the worn patch of Patrickā€™s jersey, truly too stunned to speak at what Javi had done for you, to make sure a piece of two people who were no longer with you could still be a part of the biggest day of your life.
ā€œCan I put it on?ā€ Your mom asked, smiling at you with tears in her eyes, walking towards you as you nodded, handing her over the veil as she gently nestled it into your hair, straightening it out behind you, even more tears streaming down her face while she watched your reaction in the mirror.Ā 
Not only was Luciaā€™s veil absolutely beautiful, if you hadnā€™t known any better, you would have thought Javi had asked someone to see what your dress looked like to pick out a veil that matched it perfectly.Ā Like it truly was meant to be.
Still too shocked to form any sort of coherent thought, you stared at yourself in the mirror, silently smiling and crying at your reflection until a soft knock came from outside the bedroom door, making everyone in the room whip their heads around to see all of the boys who had just arrived peeking through the door frame, waiting in anticipation.Ā 
ā€œCan we come in? Weā€™re dyinā€™ to see you, Cubby. Well, the one whoā€™s dyin to see you the most we banished to the outside so he wasnā€™t even tempted to come in, but the rest of us fools still wanna see you too.ā€ Your dadā€™s voice chuckled from behind the door, making you break from your crying just enough to let a soft laugh escape from your chest, nodding your head as you turned around to greet the gang gathered at the door.Ā 
Growing up the youngest of 3 brothers, sentimental wasnā€™t a term thrown around in your household very often. Of course you loved your family, and they loved you, but you and your brothers had often joked that itā€™d probably be easier to projectile vomit than to actually say the words ā€œI love youā€ eachother. So thatā€™s why when your dad and brothers walked through the door with awestruck looks on their faces, you couldnā€™t help but start crying even more.Ā 
Well, until they actually got a chance to speak.Ā 
ā€œDonā€™t cry you dingus, youā€™re gonna mess up all your makeup. And god knows how long it took to try and make you look like you didnā€™t just crawl out of a garbage can.ā€ David quietly snickered, pulling you in for a much gentler than usual headlock before wrapping his arms around you for a legitimate hug.Ā 
ā€œFuck off, David. How many people had to help you put that suit on, huh? You use every last brain cell trying to do up those buttons?ā€ You teased back, trying to wipe the tears that had been rolling down your cheeks before giving him a loving slap to the stomach, making the two of you laugh even more.Ā 
ā€œYou know his dumbass needed all the help he could get.ā€ Charlie joked, pulling you in for another hug before stepping back to look you up and down, ā€œNot too shabby. You clean up good, Cubby.ā€Ā 
ā€œThanks Charlie.ā€Ā 
The last one to step towards you was your dad, who you could tell was trying with everything in him not to absolutely burst into tears, putting one hand on your shoulder as he smiled at you. ā€œIā€™ll say it once and I wonā€™t say it again because you know as well as I do Iā€™m not good with the sappy shit. You look beautiful, Cubby. Iā€™m so proud of you. I know Patrick would have been too. Although that motherfucker is probably pissed at us that we cut the number off of his favorite jersey, but I think heā€™ll forgive us.ā€ Wrapping you in a tight squeeze, your dad engulfed you in a bear hug, quickly followed by your brothers and your mom, trapping you in the center of their bodies, knowing you all were wishing there was one more person there in your group to fill in your hug.Ā 
ā€œI love you guys. Thank you.ā€ You whispered, just loud enough to make sure they could hear, but quiet enough that even though your brothers had heard it, just this once, they wouldnā€™t give you shit for it. And just this once, everyone seemed to silently agree that they really, truly, did love you too.Ā 
After a few more seconds of your group hug, there was another soft knock on the door, followed by another familiar voice, Chucho and Steve now peeking through the doorway to say hello.Ā 
ā€œIs it okay if we come in, Mija?ā€ Chuco asked, already halfway through the door in excitement.Ā 
ā€œYes, of course.ā€ You sniffed, breaking free from the middle of your group hug to greet Chucho, less than shocked that his hug was almost tighter than the 4 other members of your family combined.Ā 
ā€œMijaā€¦ Mija, you look so beautiful. Oh, goodness. I had always saved this veil one day, just in case. And even though it sat in the attic for years, I pulled it out the week that Javier first met you. I donā€™t think that there was ever a doubt in anyoneā€™s mind that you werenā€™t the one for him. My sweet Lucia would have been so happy to know that you have given Javier everything he never thought that he deserved. Oh, how I wish with everything she could have been here today to see how happy you make him. But I hope that you know, she would have been so excited that you get to be a part of our family.ā€ He grinned through his tears, stepping back to look at you with a soft smile on his face, gently reaching up to wipe away the wetness on your cheek before pulling you back in for another hug. ā€œI hope you know that Javier is going to be a wreck when he sees you. Poor boy has been in shambles all day waiting to see you.ā€Ā 
ā€œI donā€™t think Iā€™ve ever seen the man this anxious. And thatā€™s sayinā€™ somethinā€™.ā€ Steve chimed in, laughing to himself. ā€œYou look great, sweetheart. Chuchoā€™s right, Javiā€™s ā€˜bout to be a goddamn mess.ā€Ā 
As if your heart couldnā€™t feel any fuller from all of the love and warmth overflowing into the room, you had almost forgotten about the one person that had brought you all together in the first place- Javi.Ā 
You could feel the pace of your heart begin to race, your stomach swirling in anticipation as the reality of the situation slowly began to sink in.Ā 
Your future husband was here, and there was nothing more in the world that you wanted than to see him. Not soon, not at the end of the aisle, not waiting for you at the altar, right this very second.Ā 
ā€œHeā€™s here, right? Javi?ā€ You asked, biting down on your lip to contain the stupid grin growing between your cheeks, swaying back and forth on your heels in childlike impatience. Before you could barely ask your question, all eyes in the room were on your, giving you a collective look that seemed to scream ā€œSeriously? You canā€™t wait either?ā€ without having to say a word.Ā 
As you could hear the beginning rumblings of protest, David stepped in as the most unexpected voice of reason, holding his hands up to the crowd in your defense, trying to silence everyoneā€™s potential disagreement for what you were about to suggest.Ā 
ā€œListenā€¦ Yā€™all know as well as I do that we could hold back these two with iron restraints, and theyā€™d still probably find a way to see each other before the ceremony. And to be quite honest, I am pretty convinced if we donā€™t let them, one of them is gonna fucking combust, and I am not willing to be held personally responsible for any damages done before you two idiots can even get married.ā€Ā 
Giving you a silent nod of approval, David stepped back to pat your back with the loving force that only a brother could, as everyone else in the room seemed to very quickly agree with his sentiment, joining with head bobs of quiet agreement.Ā 
ā€œIā€™ll go let the big man know youā€™re cominā€™. Gotta find some way to redeem myself before I bust his balls in my speech later.ā€ Steve snickered, giving you a quick wink before quickly disappearing out the door to find the man behind it, waiting half as patiently as you.Ā 
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To say that Javi was disappointed when the boys booted him to the outdoors while everyone else got to go in and see you was the understatement of the year. Even though he couldnā€™t have been sitting on the front porch of his childhood home for more than 10 minutes, it felt like he had been waiting for hours, counting down each second until the moment he finally got to lay his eyes on you. After about 2 minutes of sitting in his dadā€™s rocking chair, nervously swaying as his hands shifted between his fingers drumming on his legs and balling up in anxious fists, he pushed himself up to stand, walking off the steps of the porch to pace in the front yard under the warmth of the late June sun.Ā 
He had been so preoccupied as he meandered the front of the home, picturing just how breathtaking you would look as you walked down the aisle to greet him- how gorgeous you would be in your dress, your hair, your stunning smile, everything about you that made him look at you and know that he was the luckiest man in the world. That you were his. That you were everything that made him feel like home. It wasnā€™t until after a few careless steps too far around the corner of the house, that Javi was catching himself from tumbling to the ground as he tripped over a larger than suspected rock underneath him, quietly cursing under his breath while he tried to steady himself, peering down at the ground to see what had almost caused his fall. And when he finally read the words etched into the round stone beneath him, he couldnā€™t help but laugh at the fact the thing resting below him was none other than the heading that read ā€œLuciaā€™s Gardenā€.Ā 
ā€œJesus Christ, Ma, youā€™re not even here and youā€™re gonna take me out before the wedding even happens.ā€ Javi chuckled to himself, gently tapping his foot against the rock, staring at the worn and weathered letters of her name. ā€œYou know, the very first time Pops met her, he let her work on the garden. I couldnā€™t believe it, because he barely lets me within 10 feet of here without worrying Iā€™m gonna ruin something. But uh, I think that he knew. I think before he even met her, he already knew that she was the one.ā€Ā 
Letting out a soft sigh, Javi crouched down, squatting next to the stone, gently brushing his thumb across the grittiness, carefully tracing each letter back and forth, praying with every ounce of him that one way or another, she could hear what he had to say.Ā 
ā€œI really wish you could be here, Mom. I really miss you. I really wish she could have gotten to meet you. I know that youā€™d love her.ā€ Javi paused, his eyes beginning to well with tears, letting out a long, shaky exhale to try and compose himself. ā€œSheā€™s so good to me. I donā€™t know what I ever did to deserve her. Sheā€™s made me a better man. A man that Iā€™m proud of. A man I hope youā€™d be proud of, too.ā€ He paused again, pinching the bridge of his nose before wiping his wet cheeks with the back of his hand. ā€œI know that uh- I know before, um you were gone, that you really worried about me. I know youā€™d never say it, but um, I could tell. And Iā€™m so sorry. Iā€™m so sorry, Mom.ā€ His voice was now barely above a whisper, years of guilt and anger bubbling in his chest for the person heā€™d been, the life his mother had lived to see him play out while halfway across the world, fighting for a cause he wasnā€™t even sure he believed in anymore.Ā 
ā€œBut, I um- I just- fuck, I just want you to know that Iā€™m okay. Iā€™m more than okay, now. This is the happiest Iā€™ve ever been, all because of her. Weā€™re gonna build a house, weā€™re gonna have kids, weā€™re gonna be so happy, Mom. So fucking happy. Te amo mucho, Mama. Siempre lo hare (I love you so much, Mama. I always will).ā€Ā 
So focused on the quiet conversation with the simple stone sitting beneath him, Javi hadnā€™t even heard Steveā€™s hurried footsteps creeping up behind him, making Javi practically jump out of his skin as Steveā€™s hand met his shoulder.Ā 
ā€œHey, buddy. You ready to-ā€Ā 
ā€œJesus, fuck Murph. You scared the fucking shit out of me.ā€ Javi gasped, thoroughly startled as he shot to his feet, quickly trying to wipe the tears from his face as he faced his friend.Ā 
ā€œSorry, man, I didnā€™t mean to, promise!ā€ Steve laughed, holding his hands up in defense before letting his expression shift to concern at Javiā€™s face. ā€œHey, you okay, Jav?ā€Ā 
ā€œYeah, yeah, Iā€™m- No, Iā€™m good, sorry. Just um- Just wish my mom could have been here for this, ya know? She would have really fucking loved her.ā€Ā 
ā€œHey, itā€™s okay, man. My dad was gone before my wedding, too. Fuckinā€™ sucks.ā€ Steve smiled sympathetically, ā€œTruth be told Jav, that girl youā€™re gonna marry, I think itā€™s hard for anyone not to love her. Your mom would be really happy for ya.ā€Ā 
ā€œThanks, Murph.ā€ Javi huffed, a small smile spreading across his face at Steveā€™s genuine sympathy, a trait he didnā€™t see very often.Ā 
ā€œCā€™mere, buddy.ā€ Without giving him a choice, Steve wrapped his arms around Javi, pulling him in for a hug with a few stiff pats on the back before pulling away with a nod, hands on his hips as he stared down his friend with a shit eating grin, knowing the news he was about to tell Javi would instantly turn his mood around. ā€œSpeakinā€™ of your future wifeā€¦ You wanna see her?ā€Ā 
ā€œWait, like, now? Like, actually?ā€ Javiā€™s mood instantly shifted, his entire body lighting up at the prospect, looking at Steve with relief glistening in his dark brown eyes.Ā 
ā€œYeah, actually. Thank God your wife is just as obsessed with you as you are with her. Jesus Christ, I think the both of ya would have fuckinā€™ exploded if we made you wait ā€˜till the ceremony.ā€ Steve chuckled, grabbing Javiā€™s shoulder and giving it a playful shake. ā€œAlright, you turn around so itā€™s a surprise when she gets out here, lemme go get her. And Jav?ā€ Steve asked, turning his head back over his shoulder to look at his friend as he began to walk away back towards the house.Ā 
ā€œYeah, Murph?ā€Ā 
ā€œYouā€™re losinā€™ that bet. No way in fuckinā€™ hell you ainā€™t sobbinā€™ like a baby the second you lay eyes on her.ā€Ā 
As Steve disappeared back into the house, Javi couldnā€™t help but quietly laugh to himself, because as much as he wanted to dish shit back to Steve, he knew his friend was right- He was about to be a fucking mess.Ā 
ā€œSo? Are we good? Does he wanna see me?ā€ You asked, anxiously waiting at the door, feet tapping on the floor hidden underneath your dress as you waited for Steveā€™s return.Ā 
ā€œNo offense, Sweetheart, but that's just about the dumbest question I've ever heard. What do you think? Of course the bastard wants to see you. Iā€™m just gonna warn ya though, that man is a hot mess, and I really think ya just may kill him the second he sees you.ā€ The two of you laughed to yourselves, feeling your heart beat faster and faster in your chest with every passing second, using all of your self restraint to keep from bolting out the door past Steve to see Javi. ā€œAlright, I wonā€™t keep ya any longer, go get ā€˜em, killer.ā€Ā 
Before you could get yourself out the door, you embraced Steve in a hug, catching him off guard for a moment before he hugged you back, smiles spread across both your faces.Ā 
ā€œThanks, Steve.ā€
ā€œSweetheart, you ainā€™t got nothinā€™ to thank me for. If anything, hell, I should be thankinā€™ you. You two lovebirds are a match made in fuckinā€™ heaven. I was real worried about that old bastard for a long time. Glad to know I donā€™t have to worry about him anymore. Well, at least too much more. Now, enough about my sorry ass, go see your husband.ā€Ā 
With a silent nod, you gave Steve one more quick hug before you were turning the knob to the front door, quietly stepping out to the front porch to see Javiā€™s back to you at the bottom of the stairs, already trying to fight the tears welling in your eyes without even seeing his face. As you closed the door behind you, Javi instantly perked up, turning his head back over his shoulder just enough to speak, but not enough to see that it was you who was walking to greet him.Ā 
ā€œShe good to come out, Murph? Iā€™m fucking dying out here.ā€ Javi laughed, making you giggle at the fact that he had no idea it was you who was standing behind him.Ā 
ā€œHate to break it to you, but unfortunately, I am not Steve. So sorry.ā€ You snickered, practically feeling Javiā€™s eyes roll at your sarcastic comment, even though the both of you were thankful for a little humor to break the anxious anticipation that had been festering in your stomachs since this morning.Ā 
ā€œGod, youā€™re such a dork.ā€ He laughed, his back still turned to you as you took your final steps down the stairs with your dress in hand, trying to fluff it back out as you settled yourself behind him.Ā 
ā€œHey, youā€™ve got me for the rest of your life, babe. Lucky you. Iā€™m not gonna lie, donā€™t think I cleaned up half bad, ya know, if you wanna see.ā€ You teased, giving Javi a playful poke on the back as you bit down on your bottom lip, so excited to see Javiā€™s reaction you truly thought your heart was going to explode out of your chest.Ā 
ā€œBaby, you have no fucking idea. C-can I, can I see you?ā€ Javi stammered, his voice already beginning to tremble.Ā 
ā€œWell, I think Iā€™m gonna implode if you donā€™t, so yeah.ā€ You took one last long inhale in, holding your breath as Javi slowly began to turn to face you, feeling like everything was suddenly moving in slow motion when Javiā€™s eyes finally locked with yours.Ā 
Javi couldnā€™t even get a word out before his hands were covering his mouth, his jaw dropping open in absolute awe to see you standing behind him. The tears he swore to himself heā€™d try to fight back were already streaming down his face, his eyes looking you up and down over and over again, trying to soak in every ounce of you, only crying harder as he noticed each and every new detail of you standing before him.Ā 
ā€œOsitaā€¦ Oh my god. Oh my god.ā€ Javiā€™s hand stayed glued over his mouth to try and keep his jaw from dropping any further than it already was, absolutely mesmerized by your beauty, barely able to get out any sort of coherent thought out of his brain. ā€œBaby, you, oh my god, you look so beautiful. You look so fucking beautiful.ā€Ā Ā 
While you figured that Javi would cry and be excited to see you, nothing could have prepared you for the reaction that you were witnessing in real time, watching your future husband become a complete, blubbering mess at the sight of you, making it damn near impossible for you to hold it together yourself, considering the fact that you were also busy trying to take in the ridiculously handsome sight of Javi in his tuxedo- his broad body filling out every inch of the black fabric perfectly, hair and mustache impeccably groomed, and sweet, teary brown eyes sparkling in the sunlight, making you melt, tears rolling down your face as your heart bursted at the seams over and over again, wondering how in the world this wasnā€™t all some sort of a perfect dream.Ā 
ā€œYou like it?ā€ You managed to choke out through your happy sobs, your cheeks straining from the stupid grin that had spread across your face, the both of you radiating in the blissful glow of your excitement.Ā 
ā€œLike it? Osita, are you fucking kidding me? Do I like it? Holy shit, baby, you are the most beautiful thing Iā€™ve ever seen. You look... Osita, you look incredible.ā€ Javi laughed through his tears, taking another step back to grab your hand, looking you up and down again before holding your arms up to twirl you in a circle, your dress flowing around you, making you giggle as you finally finished rotating to lock eyes with Javi again. ā€œHermosa, I knew you were gonna look amazing, but I- I never, I never could have imagined that you were gonna look like this.ā€Ā 
ā€œComing from you? Jesus, Jav, Iā€™m convinced youā€™re trying to kill me in that tux before we can even get married. You look so good. Javi?ā€ You paused, grabbing his other hand so your fingers were intertwined, his thumb automatically tracing soft circles on your skin.Ā 
ā€œYeah, baby?ā€ Javi replied, biting down on his bottom lip as he gulped, trying to hold back the lump resting in his throat from his happy tears as he stared down at you.Ā 
ā€œJaviā€¦ Weā€™re getting married. Weā€™re getting fucking married.ā€Ā 
ā€œFuck. Weā€™re getting married. Holy shit.ā€ As if the smile on Javiā€™s face couldnā€™t get any wider, his boyish grin gleamed between his cheeks, wrapping his arms around you to engulf you in a tight hug against his chest, the two of you laughing to yourself in disbelief that you had finally made it here- that only a few short moments, the two of you got to begin the rest of your forevers together. ā€œCan I- Can I kiss you?ā€ He asked in a soft whisper, pulling back to tilt his head towards yours, sliding one of his hands up to gently cup your cheek, shifting your gaze up towards him.Ā 
ā€œWhat kind of question is that, you dork?ā€ You teased, bringing your mouth close enough to his to let your lips barely ghost over one anothers, butterflies swarming in a sea of excitement.Ā 
ā€œBecause Iā€™m afraid if I start kissing you, Iā€™m not gonna be able to stop.ā€Ā 
ā€œDo your worst, PeƱa.ā€Ā 
As if time began to move in slow motion, your mouths met with an electric and tender intensity, slowly becoming a mix of tangled tongues and teeth, your hand sneaking under the opening of Javiā€™s suit jacket to wrap around his waist as the grip around your face began to tighten, your bodies melting together as one in a nearly magical moment- Well, as magical as it could get before being interrupted by all your friends and family that had gathered on the front porch to share in the moment with you.Ā 
ā€œHey! Lovebirds! Jesus Christ, save it for the ceremony!ā€ Steve shouted, a chorus of laughter erupting behind him, startling you and Javi.Ā 
ā€œGood Lord, Steve, give it a rest. They missed each other!ā€ Connie sighed, shaking her head at her husbandā€™s loud interruption.Ā 
ā€œYeah, thatā€™s our sister, you pervert!ā€ David chimed in, the familiarity of his taunting voice making you roll your eyes, putting your hands on your hips as you stared back at the crowd.Ā 
ā€œWill you can it, you dingus? Itā€™s their wedding day for Christā€™s sake!ā€ Your dad groaned, slapping David in the back of the head.Ā 
ā€œDaddy, whatā€™s a pervert?ā€ Olivia asked, looking over at Charlie as Chucho held her against his hip, grimacing as he tried not to laugh at the exchange.Ā 
ā€œSeriously David, really? Grow up! Theyā€™re so adorable, let your sister have this.ā€ Your mom scolded, promptly giving him another whack to the stomach, you and Javi now laughing to each other at the scene that was unfolding in front of you on the porch.Ā 
ā€œWell,ā€ You giggled, giving Javi a playful nudge, ā€œIt seems like everyone else has been able to solve the ā€˜you not being able to stop kissing meā€™ problem.ā€Ā 
ā€œJesus Christā€¦ā€ Javi sighed to himself, running his hand over his face as he stared back into the crowd watching you and him, ā€œCan we get a few more minutes to ourselves before the ceremony? Please? I havenā€™t seen her all day.ā€Ā 
ā€œCā€™mon, letā€™s give the two some privacy. Lindas (cuties), why donā€™t we go look to make sure all the flowers are ready. Maybe we can practice walking down the aisle again?ā€ Cucho smiled at the two of you, giving Javi a subtle wink as the girls began to giggle with delight, racing off to the backyard in a fit of squeals of excitement.Ā 
ā€œWeā€™ll do another check of everything, too, I wanna make sure everythingā€™s in place before the ceremony. Do you mind helping, Connie? Boys, will you go check to make sure all the food and drinks are ready for cocktail hourā€ Your mom asked, picking up on Chuchoā€™s hint to give the two of you some space, now trying to rope your dad, brothers and Steve into that equation as well.Ā 
ā€œCan I have a beer if I help?ā€Ā 
ā€œJesus Christ, David.ā€Ā 
Everyone's conversations began to trail as they headed their separate ways, leaving you and Javi standing in the front yard alone, once again,Ā  looking at each other with mischievous grins- Yours from knowing damn well that Javi had something up his sleeve, and Javiā€™s from the something stored up there.Ā 
ā€œWhatā€™s that look for, Jav?ā€ You smirked, crossing your arms over your chest, raising an eyebrow at Javi as you waited for him to let you in on whatever plan he had brewing in his brain.Ā 
ā€œI thinkā€¦ I think that I really have to go to the bathroom.ā€ Javi replied, boyish grin glowing between his cheeks as he wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you close to his chest.Ā 
ā€œAnd youā€™re really making it seem like going to the bathroom is a two person job.ā€ You snickered, rolling your eyes at Javi, knowing exactly what he was implying. ā€œBaby, the ceremony is gonna start in an hour, everyoneā€™s here and I donā€™t think thereā€™s gonna be enough-ā€Ā 
Before you could finish your thought, Javi was swallowing the rest of your sentence in a long, deep kiss, only pulling away to quietly rasp in your ear.Ā 
ā€œIs that a challenge, Osita? I promise Iā€™ll be fast, baby, you just look so fucking beautiful, and I donā€™t think Iā€™m gonna make it if I canā€™t have my wife all to myself, even if itā€™s just for a few minutes. ā€Ā 
ā€œGod, youā€™re such a drama queen.ā€ You sighed with a snicker, heat creeping in your core knowing that you had just as little self control as Javi did, peeking your head to make sure that everyone had dispersed before they watched you and Javi sneak inside together. ā€œWe have to be quick, okay? I just donā€™t want-AH! Javi!ā€ You squealed as Javi was scooping you off your feet mid sentence, very fittingly carrying you bridal style across the front yard and up the steps of the porch, nudging the door open with his hip, the two of you all giggles and smiles as he whisked you through the house, stopping at his childhood bedroom, promptly setting you on the ground to shut the door behind him.Ā 
With a click of the lock and a rattle of the door handle to make sure they were safe from intruders, Javiā€™s hands were all over you in an instant, his mouth crashing into yours as he walked you back towards the ensuite attached to his bedroom, hoisting you up onto the kitchen sink as he shut the bathroom door behind him for an extra layer of protection.Ā 
You could tell how hard Javi was trying to keep himself in check, considering the amount of time and effort that had gone into your hair and makeup, and the delicacy of your dress, but it was taking every ounce of self control he had to not rip it right off you. Softly letting his kisses trail down your body, Javi began to sink to his knees, smirking up at you with his awestruck gaze as he carefully began to lift up the layers of your dress, running his hands up and down your bare thighs.Ā 
ā€œDo you know how fucking beautiful you are, Osita? Fuck, I canā€™t believe youā€™re gonna be my wife. My beautiful, amazing, perfect wife.ā€ The hot breath of his words danced against your skin as Javi peppered soft kisses up the inside of your thighs, his head almost disappearing underneath your dress as he creeped closer and closer to your core, already soaked with your arousal waiting for Javiā€™s touch. ā€œYouā€™re mine forever, Hermosa. Fuck, Iā€™m so lucky. I love you so much.ā€Ā 
ā€œI-I love you too, Javi.ā€ You whined, your breath already shaky as Javiā€™s fingers hooked around the waistband of your underwear, tugging them down your legs and letting them drop to the floor below you before letting his fingers glide through your folds, already glistening with your arousal.Ā 
ā€œFuck, youā€™re already so wet, baby. Canā€™t believe this perfect pussy is all mine forever too. God, youā€™re so fucking perfect. Everything about you. Mmmm, I know we donā€™t have a lot of time, but I have to taste you, Hermosa. Can I, baby?ā€ Javi mewled, making you gasp as he gently slid two fingers into your aching core, curling them to bump against the spongy spot inside you that already had you fisting at the edge of the bathroom counter to try and keep your composure, and better yet, your voice down.Ā 
ā€œJaviā€¦ Oh, shit. Fuck, Fu-ahhhhh.ā€ You moaned, feeling the strong arch of Javiā€™s nose bumping against your clit, placing a soft kiss there before the flat of his tongue licked a long, broad stroke across your cunt, putting just the right amount of pressure on your sensitive bundle of nerves as his fingers worked in tandem to send the sweet tingling sensation to start building in your spine.Ā 
While Javi would have loved to take every second of his sweet time to savor in watching you fall apart on his tongue, he knew just as well as you that he was working on a limited schedule, and wanted, no, needed to make sure he could get you off at least once before his luck ran out.Ā 
Javi began to work his tongue against your clit, circling and flicking in fast and firm motions as his fingers curled deeper into your heat, his free hand hooking around your thigh and draping it over his shoulder, digging his fingertips into the meat of your flesh, like he was trying to ground himself more than you.Ā 
You could already feel the coil in your stomach beginning to tighten from the way Javi was working so relentlessly to make you come undone, drinking every ounce of you up as, his lips now latching around your sensitive bundle of nerves, making your back arch and mind go blank while that all too familiar tingle began to creep through your core, cunt beginning to clench tighter and tighter around Javiā€™s fingers with every movement of his mouth against you.Ā 
ā€œThatā€™s it, mi amor.ā€ Javi cooed, peeking his head out from under you just enough so that his sweet, brown eyes were locked with yours, the hot words of his breath dancing against your pussy as his fingers continued to rock in and out of you. ā€œIā€™ve got you, Osita. Forever. Iā€™ve always got you. Promento (I promise).ā€Ā 
Before you could respond, your jaw dropped open and face scrunched in pleasure as Javi dove back in, burying his face in your cunt as each press of his tongue became more firm and precise than the last, feeling your pussy begin to flutter as you clutched tighter around the edge of the counter, trying to keep from screaming out in pleasure and raise any suspicion. But as your legs began to tremble and heart race, teetering on the brink of collapse, it was taking every ounce of willpower you had left to make that happenĀ 
ā€œFuck, Javi. Oh shit- Baby, Iā€™m so close, Iā€™m so close, Iā€™m so cl-ooohhhhh.ā€ You whimpered, feeling your orgasm crash through you, pleasure radiating in your veins as you fell apart, losing all inhibitions to keep yourself quiet as you threw your head back in all consuming bliss. With his fingers still buried in your cunt, gently working you through your high, Javi shot back up, his mouth engulfing yours in an electric kiss to try and capture your ragged moans that had been coating the walls of the bathroom, the tangy taste of you still lingering on his lips.Ā 
Your heartbeat finally began to slow, your chest heaving in long, heavy breaths as you slumped into Javi, your head resting on his shoulder, shuttering at the loss of Javiā€™s fingers inside you. He carefully pulled them out, bringing them to his mouth and sucking them clean with a devilish smirk of satisfaction on his face.Ā 
ā€œTastes so fucking sweet. My wife tastes so fucking sweet. Fuck, I donā€™t think Iā€™ll ever get over that.ā€ Javi chuckled with a boyish grin, gently cupping his hand under your chin as the other wrapped around your waist.Ā 
ā€œGet over what? Calling me your wife or eating me out?ā€ You giggled, still trying to catch your breath as you came down from your high, biting down on your lip as your arms draped over Javiā€™s shoulders, your fingers tracing soft circles at the nape of his neck.Ā 
ā€œBoth. Fuck, I love you so much.ā€Ā 
ā€œI love you so much too, you menace.ā€ You smiled, tilting your head back to kiss Javi again, so blissfully lost in the moment, that the two of you both about jumped out of your skin when you heard a loud knock coming from the bedroom door.Ā 
ā€œJav? You in here, buddy?ā€Ā 
ā€œGoddamnit, Murphā€¦ā€Ā 
The familiar twang of Steveā€™s voice made you freeze in fear, Javi quickly helping you down off the counter as he cursed to himself before the two of you were trying your best to fix yourselves up in the mirror to try and hide any signs of the horny whirlwind that had blown through the bathroom.Ā 
ā€œJavi?ā€ Steve called out again, continuing to knock on the door.Ā 
ā€œYeah, Iā€™m here, just uh- Just give me a second, Murph.ā€ Javi sighed, the two of you trying to keep from laughing at your current predicament, wondering how the hell Javi was going to talk you both out of this one.Ā 
ā€œWhatā€™s the plan, PeƱa?ā€ You giggled, giving Javi a playful nudge as he carefully turned the knob to the bathroom door.Ā 
ā€œTo tell Murph to fuck off if he tries to give me shit.ā€ The two of you quietly snorted, feeling a little less guilty than you would have if it wasnā€™t your wedding day. ā€œYou stay here, okay? Iā€™ll take care of him.ā€ He smiled, pressing a soft kiss on your cheek as he opened the door.Ā 
ā€œGod, I love you.ā€Ā 
ā€œI love you too, Osita.ā€Ā 
Closing the bathroom door behind him, Javi took a few deep breaths as he ran his hands through his hair, turning the knob to open up his bedroom door to be greeted by an unamused Steve leaning in the door frame.Ā 
ā€œWhatā€™s up, Murph? We were just, uh-ā€ Javi asked, trying his best to stay casual.Ā 
ā€œI fuckinā€™ knew it. Donā€™t ā€˜whatā€™s upā€™ me, you horny bastard.ā€ Steve groaned, rolling his eyes at his friend. ā€œYā€™all havenā€™t even made it to the ceremony yet! Jesus Fuckinā€™ Christ. Everyoneā€™s been lookinā€™ for yā€™all. I had a fuckinā€™ feeling this is what you two were up two, and as your Best Man, Iā€™ll cover for your ass now, but I sure as shit ainā€™t doinā€™ this all night for you two rabbits. Now cā€™mon, Casanova, go get your wife from in there and come outside. Remember that thing yā€™all gotta do where you actually go get married?ā€ Steve teased, slapping Javi in the chest before shaking his head at his friend, his cheeks pink in embarrassment as his eyes darted to the floor.Ā 
ā€œYeah, yeah, weā€™ll be out in a second.ā€ Javi grumbled sheepishly, quietly accepting defeat.Ā 
ā€œAn actual second, ya hear? Not a horny Javier PeƱa second, or I swear to God.ā€ Steve groaned, raising an eyebrow at Javi.Ā 
ā€œPromise.ā€Ā 
ā€œAlright then. Chop, chop, Mr. PeƱa. Letā€™s go get your ass married.ā€ Steve laughed, grabbing Javi by the shoulder before giving him a little shake and disappearing back down the hallway.Ā 
Hearing Steveā€™s voice and footsteps fade, you slowly peeked your head out of the bathroom door to see Javi standing by himself, head buried in his hands, pinching the bridge of his nose before turning back to see your face, equally embarrassed as his.Ā 
ā€œ... He knew, didnā€™t he?ā€ You grimaced, now fully opening the door and walking through to meet Javi on the other side.Ā 
ā€œYup.ā€ Javi sighed, adding an extra emphasis to the ā€œpā€ with a pop.Ā 
ā€œWellā€¦ Either Steve has the worldā€™s most unlucky timing, or he just needs to do a better job of minding his business.ā€ The two of you snickered, crossing your arms over your chest as you stared up at Javi. ā€œOr maybe someone needs to stop being such a bad influence.ā€ You teased, poking Javi in the chest.Ā 
ā€œMe? Iā€™m the bad influence? Okay.ā€ Javi chuckled, teasing you right back. ā€œSorry Iā€™m getting married to the hottest woman alive and I canā€™t help myself. My gorgeous wife is one not making it any easier on me.ā€Ā 
ā€œStill not technically your wife yet, you dork.ā€Ā 
ā€œClose enough.ā€Ā 
Grabbing you by your waist, Javi pulled you flush against chest, tilting his head in for a long, tender kiss- the kind that made heat creep through your cheeks and butterflies churn in your stomach, the kind that made your heart beat a million miles a minute, the kind that seemed to make everything else in the world stand still, even if just for a moment. The kind of kiss that made you know without a single doubt that you had never been more in love than you were at this very moment.Ā 
ā€œI love you, Javi.ā€Ā 
ā€œI love you too, Osita.ā€Ā 
ā€œYou wanna go get married?ā€Ā 
ā€œMrs. PeƱa,ā€ Javi grinned, grabbing your hand to interlock it with his, ā€œThereā€™s nothing Iā€™ve ever wanted more in my fucking life.ā€
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strniohoeee Ā· 9 months
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Could you write a Matt x fem y/n where she gets overwhelmed with life (or something like that) and she tries to hide it from Matt. She fails miserably and in telling him whatā€™s wrong she has a panic attack, so he has to guide her through it. Like kind of angsty in the beginning but very fluffy in the end? If thatā€™s okay with you?
Trapped
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Pairing: Matt Sturniolo X Female Reader
Synopsis: Y/N is struggling to balance her stressful life without realizing it. Unable to figure out whatā€™s wrong some questions from Matt make her spiral and panic takes placešŸ—£ļø
Warningsāš ļø: None itā€™s just short šŸ˜­
Song for the imagine: Silver Soul- Beach House
Trap
(Past tense) Trapped
Verb
Prevent (someone) from escaping from a place
Lately my mind has been clouded by this overwhelming feeling of stress. Iā€™m not usually a stressed person, but when I do find myself getting overwhelmed I handle it well.
But right now in this moment I wasnā€™t sure what was wrong and why I couldnā€™t control these feelings. I suppose itā€™s true that stress is a silent killer.
I couldnā€™t really pinpoint why my mind was racing and I felt this impending doom waiting for me. Like I was on the brink of snapping?
To make matters worse Iā€™ve been distancing myself from Matt and his brothers because I didnā€™t want to seem like a buzz kill. Constantly plagued by the ā€œwhatā€™s wrongā€ was making me annoyed. Because I simply couldnā€™t say what was wrong because I didnā€™t even know.
Matt had come over to my apartment to spend the night with me. I felt horrible because he was so excited and I just wanted peace and quiet, and to go to sleep.
I was being such a bitch, and I tried not to be but it was becoming very hard. My mind was constantly racing and for what? I had no ideaā€¦.
ā€œBaby are you okay?ā€ Matt asked me, snapping me out of my trance
ā€œHuh what?ā€ I said looking at him
ā€œWell Iā€™ve been talking to you and you havenā€™t said a thingā€ he said furrowing his brows at me
ā€œIā€™m- Iā€™m sorryā€ I said shaking my head
ā€œAre you sure youā€™re okay? You seem offā€ he replied rubbing my arm
ā€œYes Matt Iā€™m fineā€ I said sternly kind of brushing his arm off of me
ā€œOh uhh Iā€™m sorryā€ he said snatching his hand back
ā€œListen Iā€™m sorry Iā€™m just not feeling the best todayā€ I said rubbing my forehead
ā€œWould you like to talk about it?ā€ He asked repositioning himself on the couch
ā€œWhat is there to talk about when I donā€™t even know whatā€™s going on in my brainā€ I said frustrated
ā€œIā€™m not trying to make you upset so we donā€™t have to talk aboutā€ he said looking at me
ā€œIā€™m sorry, okay, itā€™s not you I promise. Iā€™m just stressedā€ I said back to him
ā€œWell baby what are you stressed about?ā€ He asked reading my face for an answer
ā€œMatt I donā€™t know okayā€ I said feeling my heart beat quicken
ā€œItā€™s okayā€ he said rubbing my knee which caused my anxiety to spike even more
His over analyzing of the situation made my brain go haywire. Anxious thoughts infiltrating my mind.
ā€œIā€™m just stressed about a lotā€¦..my content, and then my part time job and then also juggling school, and then my mom called me the other day to say that my dog is probably dying, and I have tons of bills and so much stuff to do and such little timeā€ I said my chest rising and falling
ā€œItā€™s okay to feel that way. Youā€™re young and youā€™re doing a lot and living on your own isnā€™t easyā€ he said tucking my hair behind my ear
ā€œAnd the warranty is up for my car so I have to call and purchase it again, and my manager has been trying to get a meeting in with me, and I have to fly back home in two weeksā€
ā€œandā€¦.andā€¦..why does my chest feel like itā€™s tightening?ā€ I suddenly blurted out the last part
ā€œY/N, you have to calm down okay. Youā€™re freaking yourself out just breatheā€ Matt said sitting up
ā€œI canā€™t breathe and my hearing is going out, my vision seems blurry? Am I going to pass out?? Why canā€™t I breathe Matt?ā€ I said breathing quickly and erratically
ā€œListen to me, okay listen to my voice. Youā€™re having a panic attack. You need to focus on your breathing and calm downā€ he said grabbing my hands and sitting in front of me
ā€œI canā€™tā€ I said staring blankly as tears ran down my face
ā€œYes you can babyā€ he said
ā€œWhy am I crying?ā€ I asked trying to breathe
ā€œYouā€™re having a breakdown, youā€™re going to be okay just do as I sayā€ he replied back
ā€œRemember when I took you to the cape and we went to that river?ā€ He asked me
ā€œYesā€ I said shakily
ā€œOkay now breathe in through your nose and out through your mouthā€ he said wiping my tears
ā€œWell remember how beautiful it looked, and how vibrant the tree wereā€¦.we sat down on a rock and you put your feet in the waterā€ he said to me
ā€œYes I rememberā€ I replied blinking my tears away
ā€œAnd you tried to count the rocks in the water but you couldnā€™tā€ he said
ā€œYeah there were too many I kept messing upā€ I said laughing a bit
ā€œAnd then you just focused on the water running through your feet, and you said that-ā€œ I cut him off
ā€œI said that it felt like silk running along my skinā€ I replied smiling at him
ā€œExactly, and you said the wind blowing through your hair made you feel like a main character in a movieā€ he replied laughing
ā€œYes I rememberā€ I said laughing
ā€œAnd do you remember who was there with you?ā€ He asked and to this I furrowed my eyebrows
ā€œOf course Matt, it was youā€ I said looking at him
ā€œExactly, I will be with you no matter what. I will always be by your sideā€ he said kissing my knuckles
I had calmed down and my mind had cleared. Finally coming to my senses at what just happened. My body and mind feeling exhausted
ā€œThank you Mattā€ I said smiling at him
ā€œAlways my love. Iā€™ll always be here for you. You should never let yourself get this way. If you ever feel any amount of stress just tell me I can help youā€ he said rubbing my cheek with his thumb
ā€œIā€™m sorry I just donā€™t want to seem like a burdenā€ I replied looking down
ā€œYouā€™re never a burden. Because when Iā€™m stressed youā€™re always there to help me and I want you to do the sameā€ he told me
ā€œOkay Matt I will. I promiseā€ I said leaning into his chest after he sat back on the couch
ā€œListen, you're doing well enough to quit your part time job, and if you ever need any money for anything just let me know okay. I want to help you! Iā€™ll fly with you back home, and I'll go to the dealership to get the warranty package for your car again. Letā€™s look at your calendar together and schedule the meeting with your manager. And I can help be your study buddy for your coursesā€ he replied rubbing my shoulders
ā€œThank you Matt I really appreciate itā€ I said melting into his touch
ā€œThis is what Iā€™m here for! To be there for you alwaysā€ he replied kissing my shoulder
ā€œI love youā€ I said
ā€œI love you tooā€ he replied back
I looked over my shoulder and he placed a kiss on my lips. A kiss that let me know how loved I wasā€¦.
The End
Hiiiii I hope you enjoyed this one! I have two stories similar to this on my page, so I tried my best to make it differentšŸ˜­šŸ˜­ I love yall and I hope you enjoyed this onešŸ„¹šŸ–¤šŸ–¤
-JšŸ’…šŸ½
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Text
comfort-m.sturniolo
idk why iā€™m making so many matt fics recently i just have good ideas for himšŸ˜­
friend to bf!matt x friend to gf!reader
warnings: mentions of sh, mentions of su!c!de, fluff, cursing, comforting matt, depressed reader, HAPPY ENDING!!
summary: your bf abuses you and matt is there to help
COULD BE TRIGGERING!
i hope you enjoy!!
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you sit on the couch, for what could possibly be your last time ever doing so. you were planning on breaking up with your boyfriend.
for most people, it would be an unexpected tragedy, but for you, it was an overly anticipated event. he had put you through hell, and always somehow found a way to reel you back in, just for long enough until he found a way to fuck it up again.
he used you basically as a sex toy and a status symbol. it took a toll on your mental health as well. before you two got into a relationship, you were anxious and depressed, and being with him only made it 10 times worse.
you snap out of your trance, hearing the door open.
ā€œy/n, iā€™m home.ā€
he came back to the house, clearly intoxicated.
ā€œjack, thereā€™s something iā€™ve been wanting to say.ā€
ā€œwhat is it now?ā€
ā€œiā€™m not happy in our relationship. it feels like iā€™m the only one who cares. you make me miserable. my mental health is comparable to dog shit when iā€™m with youā€
you realize you over shared some of your personal thoughts to him, because the next thing you know you feel a warm, powerful hand aggressively swipe across your cheek.
a sharp sting takes over your ability to function, so all you can do is see the vein angrily popping out of your drunken exā€™s forehead.
ā€œwhatever y/n, if you hate me so much, then get out! go back to your house or whatever. does it look like i give a fuck?ā€
ā€œfine then, iā€™ll go.ā€
ā€œgood! iā€™m glad your leaving. i hate everything about you. youā€™re always so sad or scared, your so damn unloveable! nobody is ever gonna love you if you keep acting like this.ā€
you stand there, frozen in time. you canā€™t talk, breathe, cry or anything. you just walk out to your car and start the 16 minute drive back to your neighborhood.
ā€œsad. scared. unloveable. nobody will ever love me.ā€
your mind recites those lines in your head, when suddenly you realize the tears came.
they came hard.
thankfully, you pull up to your driveway, your cheeks burning wet with salty tears.
you feel your phone vibrating, knowing itā€™s either jack trying to makeshift apologize or your best friend matt asking to call.
but you just want to be alone.
you sit on the bed, in the silence of your home.
sad.
scared.
unloveable.
sad.
scared.
unloveable!
these kept looping in your mind, unable to escape. you start to cry again, frantically looking around your room for anything that could dull the pain of your mind.
you see a pack of facial razors you had gotten from target earlier.
you didnā€™t want to resort to this, but you felt like you had no choice. you took a razor out, feeling the delicious sting of pain hitting your wrist.
then another.
then another.
and then you realized you were halfway up your arm, and a person was standing in your room.
it was matt.
ā€œy/n?ā€ he says, careful not to overstep his boundaries.
ā€œiā€™m sorry matt, i really am.ā€ you burst out in tears again as he wraps you in his arms. you can see blood now on his shirt, and you feel the sting of your salty tears hitting your cuts.
you them remember the promise you made to matt last year, about neither one of you harming yourselves again.
ā€œiā€™m sorry about the promise, i just fucked everything up, matt.ā€
ā€œshh, itā€™s okay, y/n. i was just worried why you werenā€™t answering, so i came over.ā€
ā€œjack slapped me. this was the worst itā€™s ever gotten. he told me i was always sad and scared, and that i was unloveable and-ā€œ
you start to hyperventilate, a familiar tightening begins to form in your throat and chest as well.
ā€œy/n, your safe now. just breathe.ā€ matt says.
he always new how to get you to feel better because he suffered with similar things you did. he was the only person you really felt safe with.
ā€œhe told me i was unloveable matt. i mean, i guess heā€™s not that wrong, i can be a lot to handle sometimes.ā€ you half attempt a laugh, which barely comes out as a sniffle.
ā€œthatā€™s not true y/n.ā€
ā€œwell you have to say that, your my best friend.ā€
ā€œi love you.ā€
you look at the blue twinkle in his eyes, and he looks back at you.
ā€œreally matt?ā€
ā€œyes, really.ā€
matt kisses you softly, his lips comforting you more than anything in the world. he then kisses each of your cuts, careful not to hurt you.
ā€œthis isnā€™t moving too fast, is it?ā€ he asks.
ā€œno, of course not.ā€ you reply.
you two spend the rest of the night watching movies, laughing and kissing, as well as blocking jack of every platform available.
ā€œi love you matt.ā€
ā€œi love you more y/n.ā€
ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢ā€¢
2.5 years later
ā€œoh my gosh chris, shut up, itā€™s a random throw. i canā€™t control who catches it!ā€
ā€œbut you said i could catch the flowers!ā€ he replies.
itā€™s you and mattā€™s wedding day, and it still feels so surreal. never did you think you would go from toxic family and boyfriend issues to having a great group of people to surround yourself with.
nick was walking you down the aisle, and you were so happy about it. mary lou was your maid of honor, and madi and your 2 sisters were your bridesmaids.
ā€œchris, go away! your about to have to go out there!ā€
ā€œfine, just save me a flower.ā€ he giggles.
after all of the wedding party walks out, you and nick walk done the velvet carpet. matt canā€™t contain his bubbly smile, and neither can you.
tears of joy rim his eyes as he watches you walk down in your flowy satin dress.
after what feels like an eternity of basic wedding ordeals, itā€™s now time for vows. you and matt wrote your own vows, so itā€™s even more nerve wracking.
ā€œmr. sturniolo, you can go first.ā€ the priest says.
ā€œy/n, you have been one of the biggest sources of happiness in my life. i remember every single time i saw you, my mood would instantly improve greatly. i would always think to myself, i want to marry someone like her, and iā€™m doing even better and i actually get to marry you. youā€™ve been there for me in my highs and my lows, and i can never thank you enough. i love you so much and i am so honored to be your husband.ā€
a brief moment passes, everyone oohs and aahs, but youā€™re too busy staring into mattā€™s eyes to notice.
ā€œand now, future ms. sturniolo, please share your vows.ā€
ā€œmatt, you are my lifesaver. i remember when you came to my house, seeing me do awful things to myself. i thought i would never recover, and i thought you would hate me forever. but you were one of the only people that actually helped me in those times, and i canā€™t put into words how grateful i am for you. i love you so much matt, and im so happy i donā€™t get to just marry my lover, but my best friend as well.ā€
matt wipes his eyes quickly as you do the same, not being able to control the smile growing on your face.
ā€œi now pronounce you husband and wife! you may kiss the bride.ā€
matt kisses you passionately and lovingly, and even though you can see the bright camera flashes through your eyelids, you donā€™t care. you only care about matt.
you remember when you thought you were unloveable, and now here you are. happily married with the person you love the most.
this is your happy ending.
I HOPE YOU LIKED! ALSO HAPPY 7 MILLION TO THE TRIPLETS ILYSMM!!!
131 notes Ā· View notes
johnnycakesswitch Ā· 3 months
Note
Hey!! I see youā€™ve been reblogging a lot of sickfic type headcanons and was wondering if maybe you had any for the curtis bros and or johnny?? Iā€™m a sucker for sickfics and I feel like youā€™d have some really cute headcanons haha
Ok Iā€™m sorry I took a minute to answer but I wanted to think up some rly good ones for you!! Sick fics are my absolute fav so I will do my best!
Ponyboy
ā€¢ heā€™s the baby of the family so he gets absolutely doted on when heā€™s sick and he loves it so much
ā€¢ gets so many colds in the winter. His nose is perpetually red from having to blow it so much. Always has a wet cough
ā€¢ when heā€™s sick he really enjoys being held or laying in someoneā€™s lap on the couch. Soda will hold him close at night and do whatever he can to make him comfy enough to sleep like rub his tummy or back or play with his hair, he absolutely hates seeing his baby brother hurting
ā€¢ when his head is hurting really bad, Soda will massage his neck and shoulders because migraines really make your entire body hurt so bad
ā€¢ if his head isnā€™t hurting too bad he likes watching tv because heā€™s bored so heā€™ll curl up on the couch with a bunch of blankets and watch tv with whoeverā€™s around
ā€¢ If no one else can get off work, Two-Bit will stay home from school and watch Pony. Heā€™s actually really good at taking care of people and Pony likes having him there when his brothers canā€™t be
ā€¢ if Pony gets too anxious or stressed heā€™ll get awful stomachaches, heā€™ll be nauseous all the time and have no appetite. His brothers know there really isnā€™t much they can do until he stops feeling this way so Darry just makes him food thatā€™s easy to digest and Soda always rubs his stomach so he doesnā€™t make himself sick
ā€¢ if Pony is really sick like a flu or something heā€™ll lay in bed with Darry, partially because it reminds him of his parents and because his bed is bigger and more comfortable. Usually Soda ends up squeezing in there too
ā€¢ not necessarily dramatic but can be very whiny. Not in an annoying way but heā€™ll like make noises in his sleep or just these unintelligible sounds when someone asks him a question, especially if heā€™s got a bad headache. Just incoherent, miserable whines
ā€¢ very pukey kid, canā€™t keep anything down if his stomach is sick and usually throws up if heā€™s got a migraine. On rare occasions though, heā€™ll be super nauseous but not actually able to throw up which he hates more than anything, heā€™d rather just get it over with than feel queasy for a long time
ā€¢ will stand in the doorway of Darryā€™s room like ā€œI frew up šŸ§ā€ā™‚ļøā€
ā€¢ Darry and Soda really fuss over him like always checking his temperature, asking him what doesnā€™t feel good, making sure he stays hydrated and try to get something in his tummy. Usually he doesnā€™t like being babied but being sick is the only exception and he will complain if he feels like he isnā€™t getting enough attention
ā€¢ bro will whine about drinking ginger ale and asks for Pepsi instead and Darryā€™s just like bruh be fr
Sodapop
ā€¢ poor Soda is a tummy ache survivor. He has such a sensitive stomach itā€™s not even funny. He physically canā€™t hide if heā€™s sick because his stomach starts making these awful noises and thatā€™s how the others always know heā€™s not feeling good
ā€¢ donā€™t even try to make him eat when heā€™s sick because he will throw it right back up
ā€¢ when he gets sick itā€™s like really bad. He gets very high fevers and body aches and is just completely miserable
ā€¢ needs to be physically comforted because heā€™s always just so uncomfortable when heā€™s sick. He likes having his belly rubbed or his back or having his scalp massaged. Darry does that for him to put him to sleep when heā€™s sick and it works like a charm. Another thing Darry will do is rub his shoulders and arms which he loves because Soda always has trouble getting warm when heā€™s sick and it feels so nice on his achy muscles
ā€¢ gets sore throats a lot bc bro breathes w his mouth open at night āœ‹šŸ˜­
ā€¢ Soda looks so endearing when heā€™s sick though because his eyes are all glossy and his cheeks are flushed and heā€™s always bundled up under a bunch of blankets which makes him look so tiny and precious
ā€¢ he always psychs himself out about being sick like heā€™ll convince himself that he has to throw up so Darry will go sit with him in the bathroom and it wonā€™t ever come and heā€™s just like ā€œno I swear Iā€™m gonna throw upā€ and Darry just has to coax him back to bed because itā€™s been like an hour. Sometimes bro honestly just needs to burp and ends up feeling so much better after
ā€¢ the most dramatic sneezes ever, if Soda has a cold itā€™s everyoneā€™s problem bc you can hear him sneeze a block away
ā€¢ heā€™s a very emotional sick person if heā€™s super sick, always really teary and upset because he feels so yucky
ā€¢ worries Darry so much because he overheats so easily, his temperature will go from low fever to veering on dangerously high like nothing
ā€¢ Darry makes him put a cold cloth on his face or neck and he hatesss this he always tries to take it off because he hates being cold so Darry will have to sit with him and hold it in place or make sure he doesnā€™t move it either until Soda falls asleep or Darry thinks itā€™s been long enough
Darry
ā€¢ gets sick like a regular amount but itā€™s usually not that bad
ā€¢ when he does get pretty sick though, he tries to stay away from the others so they donā€™t get sick too
ā€¢ this never works because Soda and Pony will break into his room to snuggle him which he canā€™t deny that he loves
ā€¢ the one thing that really gets poor Darry is a cold. He gets the most uncomfortable colds, his ears always ache, his head hurts, his nose runs, itā€™s just miserable. Soda and Pony can always tell when one is coming on because his colds tend to start with a sore throat and his voice gets really raspy
ā€¢ Soda will massage his back to help him sleep because heā€™s so restless when heā€™s sick and canā€™t seem to relax properly :(
ā€¢ stomach bugs affect him the least, he tends to throw up once and feels so much better after, which is good because they definitely hit Pony and Soda hard so he likes that he can quickly feel better and take care of them
ā€¢ super light sensitive when he has headaches so if heā€™s holed up in his room for hours, the others know he isnā€™t feeling good
ā€¢ when Darry is sick, Soda and Ponyboy make him soup which is actually super good and he really enjoys. Theyā€™ll lay in bed with him after and cuddle, Soda usually lays his head on Darryā€™s stomach and Pony on his chest and Darry puts his arms around them both. Itā€™s soothing for all of them
ā€¢ he actually gets sick frequently in the winter but itā€™s a bunch of small, not serious stuff. Like low grade fevers thatā€™ll last a day, a random cough, sore throats, etc. He doesnā€™t like the winter because he feels like heā€™s perpetually not 100%
ā€¢ will always try to go to work, but one time Soda convinced him to stay home by saying ā€œwhat if you throw up off the roofā€ and the thought of that was so embarrassing to Darry that he stayed home so he wouldnā€™t risk it
Johnny
ā€¢ will usually camp it out at the Curtis house or at Buckā€™s with Dally
ā€¢ a very good patient- he doesnā€™t mind being left alone but he wonā€™t fight being taken care of either
ā€¢ Darry will always let Johnny lay in his bed or help him get comfortable on the couch if he would rather be with everyone else
ā€¢ lots of fevers, whether itā€™s a flu or a cold or whatever, Johnny always runs warm when he doesnā€™t feel good
ā€¢ a very sleepy sickie, he usually just wants to sleep off whatever doesnā€™t feel good. He likes if another person is near him when heā€™s sleeping, it makes him feel safe
ā€¢ Dally will always lay with Johnny when heā€™s sick and at Buckā€™s, partially because he knows Johnny likes it and so he can keep an eye on him. If Johnny breathes the wrong way Dallyā€™s like šŸ‘€
ā€¢ Johnny likes if Ponyboy reads to him when heā€™s sick, it gets his mind off of it
ā€¢ if he throws up itā€™s really bad, it usually comes on super fast and itā€™s always a lot. He canā€™t always get up in time so if Johnnyā€™s sick best believe someone is getting a bin or a garbage can for him to keep close because heā€™ll go to completely fine to šŸ¤¢ super fast
ā€¢ being sick really takes all his energy away so even if itā€™s just the sniffles this boy is TIRED. Itā€™ll be 7 pm and heā€™s like guys can I go to sleep on the couch now šŸ„ŗ
ā€¢ will not go home whatsoever if heā€™s sick because he just canā€™t deal with both things at once and everyone knows, so theyā€™ll make sure to tell Johnny to stay over so he doesnā€™t feel bad about asking and try to sleep outside instead
ā€¢ everyone coddles him but he appreciates it so much
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the-darkestminds Ā· 6 months
Text
A Dying Flame
Eris POV ā€” my first fic
Heyyyyy friends. I decided to write the two scenes UTM from Erisā€™s POV where Lucien is being tormented and Eris is forced to watch. It can also be found here. Iā€™ve never written anything before so be nice to me šŸ˜­ I took a few lines directly from ACOTAR to set the scene and make it as canon as possible, but the rest came from me. I tried to channel SJM's writing style as best I could. I am trash for Eris so I couldnā€™t resist. I hope you guys like it šŸ„² title is dumb so I might change it. I am eternally grateful for any of you who choose to read the whole thing, I promise itā€™s not too long! šŸ™
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Eris
I stood at the edge of the gathered crowd, struggling to keep the cool mask of indifference on my face as Amarantha once again had Lucien bound and on his knees before her. Would his torment never cease? He had never quite mastered the ability to keep his mouth shut, to leash his tongue until the moment it would best serve him. Lucienā€™s loud mouth had already cost him his left eye, plucked right from his head by Amarantha herself. Rage coursed through me at the role I was forced to play each day under this cursed mountain. How useless Iā€™d become at protecting those I held most dear.Ā 
Lucien and I had not exchanged honest words in over 30 years. I longed for the chance to speak to him alone, to beg him to hold his tongue so as not to draw Amaranthaā€™s ire more than he already had. Not for the first time, I desperately wished for the daemati abilities the High Lord of Night possessed so that I might speak to Lucien privately. Abilities he was about to unleash upon my brother.Ā Ā 
Beside Lucien stood a small and ordinary mortal girl, likely Amaranthaā€™s newest plaything to torture and discard.
ā€œHer name?ā€ Amarantha asked Tamlin, who didnā€™t reply. ā€œI donā€™t suppose your handsome brothers know, Lucien,ā€ she purred.
Give up her name! I nearly begged him. To hell with the girl. Instead I heard myself say, ā€œIf we did, Lady, we would be the first to tell you.ā€ The words tasted like poison on my tongue. My brothers chuckled from behind me.
Amarantha only smiled and nodded at Rhysand. He cocked his head, his eyes narrowing slightly on Lucien, who hissed in pain.
I tensed as Rhysand began smiling faintly. Bastard. He was a loathsome, foul bastard. And though I knew he played a role and wore a mask as much as the rest of us, it didnā€™t stop me from hating him as he held Lucienā€™s mind in his clutches.
Lucien stiffened in pain. A groan slipped out of him, andā€“Ā 
ā€œFeyre!ā€ the girl shouted. ā€œMy name is Feyre.ā€Ā 
Lucien sagged on the ground, trembling. Relief shuttered through me, and I bared my teeth and snarled quietly at the girl to disguise the trembling in my hands, my legs. He was safe, for now. And no thanks to me.Ā 
The conversation continued, but I let my mind drift far away. Tried to feel nothing as I attempted to calm my racing heart. I clenched my sweaty palms at my sides and allowed myself a quick glance at Lucienā€™s prone form. Aliveā€“for now.Ā 
I slipped back into the crowd as they dragged Feyre away. He was alive. I repeated this to myself as the cruelty continued through the night, as it did every night in this miserable place. Aliveā€“as I sipped wine and smiled at the punishment the Attor was inflicting on the poor faeries Amarantha had singled out this evening. Alive, alive, alive a steady chant in my blood as the night wore on.
Alive.
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ā€œWell, Feyre, your second trial has come.ā€ I heard Amarantha smugly announce from her throne at the front of the room. A gnawing dread had been pooling in my gut for the last hour. I could only guess at what new horror she had in store for the girl, but I grew increasingly anxious when I did not see Lucien amongst the revelers. He tended to lurk in the shadows of the room, one eye on Tamlin, ever the loyal sentry. I couldnā€™t help the low snarl that escaped me at the thought. That Lucien was willing to risk his own life for the Spring Court brute. The faerie next to me skittered away at the sound.
I slowly made my way towards the gathered crowd. Faeries averted their eyes as I passed. It was a relief that I still commanded a modicum of fear from these leeches. Their fear of me was a weapon I wielded frequently.
Amarantha sat proudly on her throne. The Attor at her left, Tamlin braced stiffly behind her on her right.Ā 
ā€œHere, Feyre darling, you shall find your task. Simply answer the question by selecting the correct lever, and youā€™ll win. Select the wrong one to your doom. As there are only three options, I think I have given you an unfair advantage.ā€ Something metallic groaned at the snap of her fingers. ā€œThat is,ā€ she added with a snake-like smile, ā€œif you can solve the puzzle in time.ā€
I had just gotten a glimpse of the girl when the floor where she was standing began to sink down, revealing a small chamber split in two by a metal grate.
I went rigid as I beheld the figure chained to the floor, previously hidden from view. A loud roaring began building in my head. My skin felt tight and hot as I saw that it was Lucienā€“Lucien, who would again be part of the nightā€™s entertainment. Lucien wrenched at the chains binding him to the floor. I nearly puked on the throne room floor at the sight of it.
Only the many years of practice in my long immortal life stopped the cry of anguish from escaping me as burning spikes began to slowly lower towards Lucien from above. I was a fool. A wretched fool to think Amarantha was done torturing him. That she would not use his friendship with the girl again and again until she finally broke, or was dead, Lucien along with her. I made to take a step forward but then jerked to a stop. Nothing. There was nothing I could do to stop this without damning us both further. I would be forced to watch in silent agony as Lucien was slowly and painfully crushed under the weight of those red-hot spikes.Ā 
I stared and stared at Lucien, only vaguely aware of the girl flailing and panicking in the chamber next to him. This was some new level of hell. My nightmare brought to life, one that I could not wake myself up from.Ā 
ā€œAnswer it!ā€ Lucien shouted, his voice hitched. My eyes burned, and I felt a cold drop of sweat begin to drip down my spine. Only sheer force of will kept the practiced smirk on my lips. The spikes lowered further.
ā€œJust pick one!ā€ Lucien shouted. He strained against the chains, panting frantically, eyes wide.
My brothers around me laughed gleefully, and I forced myself to join in, the sound a pitiful rasp in my ears. I was grateful that the crowd around me was thoroughly distracted by the horror unfolding before us. That they could not hear my pounding heart or the screaming inside my head as those molten spikes lowered another inch closer to Lucienā€™s body, helplessly chained to the floor. This was the true torture. Not the painful lashes Iā€™d so often received from my father for disappointing him in one way or another. Not the loneliness and fear that threatened to crush me after so many years navigating the snake pit of my fatherā€™s court. But this. Forced to stand idly by as my loved ones were killed. Forced to hear the fear in Lucienā€™s voice as he begged the girl to just pick a lever and be unable to stop any of it.
ā€œFeyre, please!ā€ Lucien moaned. The terror in his voice nearly brought me to my knees. And yet I stood there like a statue. Maybe this was my punishment for being so useless. So worthless. I desperately wished I could take Lucienā€™s place. That it was me chained to the floor. I deserved it.
I held my breath and shut my eyes as the girl finally reached for the third lever, bracing myself for what was surely to come.Ā 
Silence. Thenā€“a sigh. From Lucien.Ā 
I opened my eyes at the sound and choked down the sob building in my chest. The girl, Feyre, had actually done it. By dumb luck or fate, she had saved them both.
I did not stay to witness Amaranthaā€™s reaction to the girl besting her once more. Could not stand to be there a minute longer. I turned, not seeing any of the faces around me, desperate to escape the swirl of both panic and relief pressing in on me, threatening to swallow me whole. I could not fall apart, not here.
I stumbled away to the back of the throne room and kept walking until I was alone in a darkened passageway, the sounds of jeering and wicked laughter slowly disappearing. I leaned heavily against the nearest wall and emptied the contents of my stomach onto the floor. My eyes and throat burned and I let out the broken sob I had been holding in. I would allow myself one minute to fall apart, away from prying eyes. Just one minute, and then I would return to join in the merriment of those who had cheered as my brother had nearly been killed again.
I breathed in the damp, cold air of the mountain, my body shaking silently as I sunk to my knees. I listened to the drip, drip, drip of water on the stone floor and used it to slow my quaking heart. When the minute was up, I stood. Tunneled deep down inside until I could barely feel the rage and sorrow. I brought the smirk back to my mouthā€“it was second nature after all these years. I took one last deep breath, and turned back the way I had come. I had been gone too long, and these caves had eyes and ears that were always watching, always listeningā€“always reporting back to her. And though Autumn Court fire burned in my veins, I forced my heart to freeze over, as cold as Kalliasā€™s ice. I let that ice flow through me as I walked backā€“as I blocked out the despair that fought to drown me with every step I took. Until I was no one, and nothing.Ā 
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A small part of me was aware that I was in shock. I drifted through the following day as if underwater, not fully hearing the words spoken to me or how I responded. Through it all, I made sure to keep the haughty mask on my face. Only when I spotted Lucien across the room did I feel as if I had come up briefly for air. Our eyes locked, and Lucienā€™s mouth tightened in displeasure. He held my gaze, emotion flickering in his right eyeā€“there and then gone before I could decipher it. After a beat he looked away and was promptly swallowed up by the crowd.
I knew Lucien despised me. It was written on his face whenever he deigned to look me in the eyes, and I let him believe I felt the same. As much as it pained me to do so, I treated him as if he were nothing to me, no more than trash to be discarded. I hated myself more with each passing dayā€“was at risk of being consumed by it entirely and slipping deep into the burning pit of fire within me. It was sheer defiance against the bitch queen that prevented me from doing so. The hope that I might one day see Autumn again. So many years trapped down in the dark were wearing heavy on my soul. The steady fear that I would fail those I sought to protect slowly ate away at me. What Iā€™d give to breathe in the crisp, cool air of home, to walk amongst the red and gold leaves that sparkled like jewels in the dawn light. I held on to the hope that I would one day return. Tucked it deep down inside where it flickered softly, the aching pain in my heart its only companion.
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ponderingmoonlight Ā· 1 year
Note
Can I request geto suguru with prompt 29. After the last angst u wrote, I figured I want to be hurt more, maybe y/n confronts him again and tries to get him back (fails miserably) šŸ˜­šŸ˜­ keep writing, ur writing is really good šŸ‘
Thank you so much for that request, I just had to write that immediately! Hope I shatter your soul in a good way love, enjoy and let me know what you think ā™”
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Dying ray of sunshine Part ll
Pairing: Geto x fem!reader
Word Count: 2,5k
Synopsis: After searching for your former boyfriend Suguru for 10 years, he finally shows himself again at the Night Parade. You try your best to convince him back into your open arms, but it seems like the man you love is gone forever.
Warnings: hurt (obviously), injury, lanuage, death
Itā€™s been a while since you last saw him. 10 years, 6 months and 9 days to be exact. Somehow you managed to carry on, found a job in the center of Tokyo, cut your hair a little shorter, met up with Satoru from time to time. Youā€™re a grown woman now, absolutely stunning as some might say. On the surface, everything is going great for you. Expect for the fact that you never let a single man touch your soul after Suguru.
Sorry, just doesnā€™t work I guess.
You block the number of the random man youā€™ve met last night without balling an eye and straighten your posture. No one seems to mesmerize you like Suguru did. Along with Satoru, you searched for him over the last years, still eager to find him and talk everything out. You know that he has a tender heart, that even after all this time you will manage to get him back, your Suguru. The promise you made will come true. Sooner or later, you will track down the traces of horror he leaves behind. Deep down you know that he would never hurt or let alone kill you. Just a few words, thatā€™s all you need.
The ringing of your phone disturbs your peace rudely. A look at the screen reveals that in fact Satoru is calling.
ā€œYou know I have to leave for work soon, donā€™t you?ā€
ā€œ(y/n), he was hereā€, Satoro breathes out.
Immediately you jump out of your chair, blood rushing through your ears as your heart nearly pounds out of your chest. You know exactly who heā€™s talking about. Suguru was at Jujutsu High? Why? Maybe he wanted to sort things out, maybe he had a conversation with Satoru, maybeā€¦Maybe he asked about you.
ā€œWhat did he say? Is he still with you? Why was he there? Were you able to convince him to come back to us? How is he? Does he look fine?ā€, you babble out, mind racing faster than your mouth can follow.
ā€œ(y/n)ā€¦I think you should pay me a visit. Donā€™t expect anything positive thoughā€¦ā€
Your heart sinks immediately, a wave of disappointment and foreboding rushes over you just like ten years ago. Nothing positive means something really bad must have happened. But still, this is the first personal contact the two of you had with Suguru since he left that day. This has to be a good sign, right? Ā Ā 
ā€œIā€™m coming right nowā€, you response hastily, put on your high heels and sprint down the halls with your car keys tinkling in your hand.
Jujutsu High isnā€™t far away from your home, but still the empty road feels like an eternity this day. You press your foot on the gas, donā€™t give a shit about the rain that starts to poor and the bad sight. He was there. Suguru was finally seen again, alive and speaking. You canā€™t help but shed a tear of joy while cruising down the street with enormous tempo. At some point you thought about giving him up, to stop searching for someone who doesnā€™t want to be found and who last told you that he wants to see you dead. But you never had the heart to call it quit, to simply throw all the time youā€™ve had together into the trash. This is your chance.
ā€œSatoru!ā€, you cry out, dashing down the wet sidewalk into the center of Jujutsu High.
There he stands along with his students, all of them wearing thoughtful, anxious and competitive expressions. You are alarmed immediately. Satoru warned you, it is written on their faces that something pretty bad has happened.
ā€œWhatā€™s going on?ā€, you breathlessly inquire, trembling hands pressed against your figure in order to stop you from shivering.
Your whole body seems to be electrified, still in absolute shock at this sudden opportunity.
ā€œHe was here. Suguru was here to announce warā€, Satoru explains briefly, his gaze pinned to the grey sky above him.
ā€œWar?ā€
You canā€™t believe your ears. Is that the only reason he came here? To proclaim that he is going to take other innocent lives? You feel like fading, suddenly a breath-taking nausea overcomes you. This is not the Suguru you know, heā€™d never do that. Absolutely impossible.
ā€œThis has to be a misunderstanding, we both know that-ā€œ
ā€œSorry (y/n), it wasnā€™t. Apparently he doesnā€™t even stop at jujutsu sorcerers anymoreā€¦ā€
ā€œB-Butā€¦This means heā€™ll come back, right? I will talk to him, Iā€™m sure thereā€™s a way to convince him to stop. After all, I was his girlfriend for so many years! Iā€™m sure heā€™ll listen to me!ā€, you desperately try to convince Satoru.
ā€œAinā€™t no way Iā€™ll take you to the battlefield. Forget that, (y/n). Youā€™ll stay here, at Jujutsu High. I will talk to him first. Only when I can be sure that he wonā€™t hurt you I will come and get you, understood? As a non-jujutsu sorcerer, you are completely at his mercy. I wonā€™t lose you too.ā€
You can feel Satoruā€™s tense gaze eyeing you up and down while you urgently try to hold back tears. Of course heā€™s right, you know all too well that Suguruā€™s heart is clouded by grief and rage. He could kill you in a heartbeat before even recognizing that itā€™s you. But still, the thought of sitting here and waiting for Satoruā€™s call while your boyfriend is out there slaughters you from the inside. You waited 10 fucking years for this moment. How long do you have to wait until you can finally embrace him in your arms again, until you are reunited and get your well-deserved happy ending? It is so frustrating ā€“ hunting down the shell of the person you love most in this entire word and then not being able to talk this out.
ā€œDid he ask about me?ā€
Your voice is a fade whisper, close to breaking like the finest glass. There is nothing you want more than to embrace him into your arms again, to feel his broad chest against your fingertips and let his delicious scent tingle your nose. Satoruā€™s heart breaks at the way you stare into the ground, the tears you try to hold back so badly glistering in your eyes. He canā€™t help but pull you into his arms, gently caressing your back just like he did on that fateful day that took your spark away.
ā€œHe asked me if youā€™re still around. I told him that you are searching for himā€, Satoru whispers into your ear, making your heart shudder in hopefulness.
So he does care about you. After all the things that happened after the night ten years ago, you are still on his mind. Yes, this is a good sign. That means that he does in fact remember his feelings towards you, the beautiful moments you both shared.
ā€œI will bring him back, Satoru.ā€
______________________________________________________________
ā€œSee ya, watch out for the little ones, (y/n)!ā€
ā€œYouā€™ll probably have to watch out for me, Iā€™m no use when it comes to curses. Hopefully Iā€™m not in your wayā€, you admit towards Maki and Yuta.
The boy in front of you smiles kindly at you while shaking his head.
ā€œOh please, donā€™t be so hard on yourself! You are a very impressive and strong woman, Gojo-sensei talks only positively about you!ā€
ā€œIā€™m not able to see curses either, donā€™t let that stop or bring you down.ā€
A kind smile is plastered on your face, heart warmed by their kind words. It seems like Satoru is doing his job very well, apparently. You definitely need to tell him that when all of this is over.
ā€œIā€™ll go back insideā€, the girl named Maki announces, turns on her heels and leaves.
ā€œDo you want to join?ā€, Yuta asks friendly towards you.
ā€œOh no, thank you. I will wait here.ā€
And with that, you are alone. Only you and the soft breeze that strokes your hair on this quiet cold day like every other. You canā€™t keep your mind still, everything revolves around Suguru and the prospect of seeing him. How will it go? Will he even recognize you? Your curves got a little rounder, jawline a little sharper and hair a little shorter. But your eyes. He should be able to tell that itā€™s you by your eyes. After all, he spent hours getting lost in their sight. Oh, the beautiful old days. Waking up next to him still sleeping, letting your needy hands wander around his muscular body, caress every inch of his delicate skin. Suguru is your blessing of a lifetime and he told you over and over that you are his ray of sunshine. Surely itā€™s not too late. It is never too late to change your path.
ā€œWho do we have here?ā€, a voice behind you jeers.
You quickly get up on your feet, courageous gaze set in the direction of the unknown male.
But he isnā€™t unknown. Youā€™d be able to recognize his long black hair and mesmerizing orbs anywhere. Itā€™s him. God, Suguru is here. Still as breathtaking as ten years ago, face matured in the most delicate way. And that striking smile that is plastered on his face.
ā€œIs that really you, Suguru?ā€
Ten years, ten whole years of your life youā€™ve been searching for him. Ten years without letting any man touch you in the way he did, ten years of constantly thinking about him and the unconditional love you hold for him deep within your heart. And now heā€™s finally here. Standing right in front of you, only about ten feet away.
His eyes examine you up and down. Can this really be true? He thought heā€™d never see you again. After all, he told you to run away this one time, he spared your life once. Suguru never expected to set is eyes on you alive.
ā€œ(y/n)ā€
His voice grew stronger and sounds a little deeper than you remembered. Oh, how badly you want to bury your face in his arms, beg him to come with you and forget about this madness. Maybe youā€™ll be able to laugh about what happened in a few years together.
ā€œOver the past 10 years I searched you everywhere. Remember that promise that I made? I told you Iā€™ll come back. And now weā€™re finally able to talk this out.ā€
Your voice is shaking. It feels like a far away dream to see him standing there, safe and sound right in front of your very own eyes. The horror of the last few years isnā€™t noticeable on his lovely face. You canā€™t help but close the distance between your bodies, every step feels like a victory. Yes, you can do this. You will convert him back to his normal self, to the sweet and loving Suguru everyone knows and loves.
ā€œWow, you actually managed to grow up even though you are nothing but a defenseless monkey. Congrats, (y/n).ā€
The sound of his stone cold voice and venomous words makes the world around you turn black. He called you a monkey again. Just like he did back then. You shake your head, determination plastered on your surface. No, you wonā€™t give up so easily. This isnā€™t him.
ā€œSuguru, this isnā€™t you. I know you better than that. You are the gentlest, most caring and loving soul I know, a man that would never hurt an innocent soul. You donā€™t have to do this. Please, let me help you out of this vicious circle, let me give you the attention you needed ten years ago. We can still fix this. I never stopped loving you.ā€
ā€œBut I did, (y/n). You are nothing but a stranger I share memories with for me. I forgot about you a long time agoā€, he replies dryly, cold gaze staring right through your soul.
You swallow heavily when his words hit you like a bullet. Itā€™s like you never knew him, disgust is plastered on his face. Noā€¦no, it canā€™t be! Your heartbeat picks up, hands balling into fist while your whole body hardens in agony. You didnā€™t threw your life away for him to stab you in the back like this. You didnā€™t love him for noting all these years. This just canā€™t be true. He just doesnā€™t want to let you too close, a coping mechanism to defend his current way.
ā€œKill me right now then, I dare you!ā€
Your blood-curling scream hangs heavy in the thick air between both of you, waiting for any reaction, any words, any twitches. Only to be greeted by a small grin and his eyes filled with so much hatred that it leaves you completely motionless.
ā€œYour wish is my command.ā€
In the split of a second you are torn into the hard ground beneath, multiple bones in your body cracking at the invisible force that seems to burry you alive. Your lungs are out of air, all you can do is stare at the grey sky above, heart completely shattered by the love of your life all over again. Salty tears mix with your blood, plastering your sight in crimson.
ā€œYouā€™re just fucking hilarious, donā€™t you think? Mark my words before you die, you mean absolutely nothing to me. (y/n), you are nothing but an insignificant shadow and embarrassment of my past, a freaking monkey that has no place in this world, not worth my time. And that is exactly how you will die today. I wonā€™t give you another chance to escape.ā€
His words seem to slowly fade away. Every time you woke up you reached for him, but he was never there. You want to tell yourself that thereā€™s still hope, that thereā€™s a small chance to convince him to return back into your open arms.
But itā€™s too late.
He will never be the Suguru that loved you so dearly ten years ago. He will never be the Suguru that held you in his arms all night, that told you over and over again how much he loves every inch of your body. He will never be the Suguru that came home to you after an exhausting mission with a bouquet of flowers in his hands and a tired smile on his face. He will never be the Suguru you wanted so badly to bring back. No, this version of Suguru is dead. The man whoā€™s bending over you right now with a satisfying grin decorating his features is a stranger, the shell of the man you used to know and love.
With a single tear escaping your eye, you steal one last glance of him and your past, present and future glistering in his emotionless orbs.
You failed him. And he will never be the same man again.
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nocreativityfornames Ā· 1 year
Note
teen mc and the brothers (possibly with the side chars too?? idk u can just do the brothers if u wanr!!) going to a carnival and mc goes
"WOAHHHH THATS A BIG STUFFED TOY!!!!" and they look at it with sparkles and turns to them with a smile like :DDDDDDDDD
so i wondered how they would do to win the prize? it could be any carnival booth activity thingy
Thank you for the request! This was very fun to write! šŸ¢
The brothers ( + Diavolo & Barbatos ) when Teen!MC wants the big stuffed animal prize at the carnival
Lucifer
ā€¢ He actually wanted to refuse the idea but after seeing MC's little expression he finds himself not having the heart to do it.
ā€¢ You know that part of the Lantern Festival Event where Levi is struggling to win a shooting game and then we turn to see Lucifer there with the prizes already, having won the thing without no one even noticing? Same shit happens here. He wins the game so effortlessly that the stall guy is just left standing there in shock till Lucifer calls out to him and asks for the stuffed dinosaur.
ā€¢ Mr.Pride here can't help but snort softly when sees MC hug the dinosaur like it's a long-lost friend, a sweet smile making an appearance on his face. "Now, would you care to tell me how exactly you're planning on carrying this thing home? Because it's almost your whole size and before you ask, no, I'm not doing it. It's yours and therefore your responsibility."
ā€¢ Little MC tries to convince him otherwise but after seeing he wouldn't give in, their only option is to accept defeat and carry the big plushie themselves.
ā€¢ The jerk ( affectionate ), he actually laughs seeing MC struggle to carry the dinosaur. Fine, he'll do it, but only because he doesn't wants the kid tripping on their feet for not being able to see where they're going.
Mammon
ā€¢ Confident as fuck, he's wearing a big grin as he brags about how he's going to win first round! It's just a little game, it'll be easy-peasy! Child's play for the Great Mammon!
ā€¢ He's at his 11th attempt and still nothingā€¦ šŸ„²
ā€¢ Man is struggling, he wants to get the damn thing for MC but he'll lose all his precious money at this rate. He can't disappoint the brat though, not when they look so excited to get the stupid duck plushie prize and he's already promised he'd get it for them!
ā€¢ Finally wins but his wallet ends up dead empty. He's crying on the inside but also happy at the same time after seeing how excited MC is to hold their new duck plushie.
ā€¢ If they let him name the stuffed animal to make up for all the trouble he went through to get it, his heart will melt on the spot, what a sweet kid! šŸ˜­
ā€¢ "Of course the little human wants the Great Mammon's help to carry it, give it here! I'll show ya how capable I am!" He's very proud as he carries the duck the whole way home, not caring about the looks he's getting from other demons.
Leviathan
ā€¢ Just stares blankly at the big octopus plushie and MC for a second. Really? They want HIM to play it??
ā€¢ Not very enthused at first but will do it for Henry!Ā 
ā€¢ Hypes himself up beforehand: That's right, he's gotta show the kid the power of a true otaku! He'll get that thing in no time, don't worry MC!
ā€¢ He fails miserably first try but is still confident, on the second try he'll get it! It's alright!
ā€¢ It's his 5th attempt and he's getting anxious and losing all his energy, but MC hypes him up again and he's ready for more.
ā€¢ Oof, he finally gets it! The octopus is MC's now! ( if they name it Levi or Lord of Shadow he'll be moved, much like Mammon )
ā€¢ "Y-You want me to carry it??" He's embarrassed to be seen with this thing, honestly, but he will give in eventually since he can never say no to MC's adorable puppy look.
Satan
ā€¢ The moment his eyes lay on the cat plush he's in, not that he wouldn't do it if it wasn't a cat, but it definitely made him agree ( much ) faster.
ā€¢ Gets it first try because he's read about how the game works and knows the most effective strategies to win ( If MC says he looked cool while playing he'll get them an ice cream on the way home ).
ā€¢ "Can't you carry it yourself? You're the one who wanted it, after all."Ā He stares down at MC with a curious look.
ā€¢ "You sound like Lou."
ā€¢ Immediately grabs the thing and starts walking away upon hearing this outrageous offense to his name. MC better pick up the pace if they want to keep up!
Asmodeus
ā€¢ Of course he'll do it, MC doesn't even need to say a word, their expression on its own is already enough.
ā€¢ He's many rounds in, but still hasn't managed to win the prize. It's making him tired and the teen can see it, so they try to convince him to give up, telling him they didn't want the bunny that badly.
ā€¢ Asmo sees right through their lies and decides it's time to pull out the big guns. "Don't worry, sweetie, I still have one card up my sleeve! ā™”" MC watches as Asmo shamelessly goes up to the demon at the stall, greeting the guy in an overly flirtatious tone.
ā€¢ In the end MC ends up with their beloved plushie, and Asmo with a date scheduled for the weekend. It's a win-win situation, really. šŸ¤­
Beelzebub
ā€¢ Sure, he'll play it for MC.
ā€¢ Wins without much trouble on the second try, having understood what he needed to do to win the game after failing his first attempt.
ā€¢ Very happy to see MC's reaction to getting the stuffed bear. "It's pretty big, do you want me to carry it for you?" He asks after the teen thanks him excitedly.
ā€¢ Will keep the sweetest of smiles on his face the whole way back to the house as he hears MC rambling about all names they could give the bear.
ā€¢ Happily accepts whichever one they choose. "That's a very good name, MC." He ruffles their head like any kind older brother.
Belphegor
ā€¢ Will probably say something snarky about how childish they're being and try to dismiss MC's request at first. But! After seeing how much they want it, he'll agree to it, though he still groans while going up to the stall. He's just too lazy for this, y'knowā€¦?
ā€¢ Doesn't even play the game and instead just approaches the demon there, saying something to him that MC couldn't hear since Belphie had told them to stay behind. Soon enough the avatar is coming back, yawning with boredom as he carries the big stuffed bear under his arm.
ā€¢ He also dodges MC's question when they ask what he said to the guy to get handed the penguin plushie so easily without even playing the game at all. "This thing is really fluffy, I could use it as a pillow." The brother chuckles as they leave together. "Oh, maybe you could let me borrow it from time to time?"
ā€¢ Yeah, he definitely threatened that guyā€¦ šŸ˜¶
Bonus: Diavolo ( and Barbatos )
ā€¢ Diavolo immediately accepted. Man was actually even more thrilled than MC to get this thing, he loves these types of games!
ā€¢ He's very very excited while playing the round and in the moment of truth, he turns to the demon at the stall with a big grin asking if he won.
ā€¢ He in fact did not win, but the poor lower demon had no choice but to say otherwise as Barbatos stood behind Diavolo and MC giving him the most ominous aura while somehow still managing to keep a smile on his face.
ā€¢ Ahaha, of course Lord Diavolo won!! Here's your plushie kid!!
ā€¢ *insert here Dia's loud ass laugh* "I won! MC, I won!" The prince celebrated excitedly, it was hard to tell who was the real kid, him or MC.
ā€¢ Meanwhile Barbatos just stands there with a content smile as if he's suddenly standing in a field of flowers and hadn't been this close šŸ¤ from committing murder a second ago.
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