#mmm and having him call you your title of choice in bed while he’s deep in subspace? whining out for mommy/daddy/mistress/sir/mama/etc? UGH

[whoreiaki-kakyoin]

I see so much dom Abbacchio, but think... SUPER closet sub Abbacchio. Sure he can be dominating and be really fucking good at it, but when, for example, his girl orders him down on his knees in front of her spread legs and purrs, "You had fun last night, making me act like a slut... well now it's your turn. Eat." Oh boy his demeanor flips like a light switch.

Hhhhhhhh please, I am vibrating I am foaming at the mouth 👀🤤 I adore dom Abba, but making him your little bitch? Especially on nights where he wants to be a brat about it and needs a firm hand to guide him into full on needy subspace? Absofuckinglutely delicious.

If you straddle him, pinning him down to the bed beneath you as you grind against his crotch, kissing and licking and biting as you tease him, it’s a good way to get him worked up and begging. But on his softer, needier, more cooperative nights? Oh, it’s so satisfying to just tell him, “Come here, I’ve had a long day. Eat me out like a good boy.” Pull his hair while he whines against your pussy, give him soft encouragement or tease him in a low voice about what a desperate, slutty little thing he is for you, and it’ll make him feel even more submissive and needy for you. You can have him hump your leg as he pleasures you, if you’re feeling mean 😉

Also, though? Give him soft body worship sometimes as you let him fuck you or take your strap. Poor baby struggles with a lot of trauma and self esteem issues. Slow, gentle sex while you tell him what a good boy, what a beautiful, precious boy he is for you, and how happy he makes you will have him wrapped around your finger 💖

[theyanderespecialist]

25 Days Of Christmas 13/25 Christmas Special 2 (One Shot) SCP 2030 X OC Marie

(Laughy's pov)

I smiled down at her as she wanted as she gave a frustrated groan as she shifted. There was something so beautiful about it..I suppose that this would be the perfect time for others to watch.

She just looked so beautiful laying there, chest heaving, body shaking as her face was red from laughing so much. No one in all my years, made me feel this way, I couldn't let her go now could I? No I couldn't. I was going to make her mine. In every sense of the way. I walk over just looking at her, looking at her in such an outfit that she never would have worn had I not made her.

"P-Please..don't just stare.." she said, her voice was so soft.. shy.. pleading. "You ca-can do more than look,..."

I nodded and lit a candle making her look at me confused I also got a peacock feather she got from the zoo.

"Now what to do with you~" I tease stroking it down her arm.

(you're lucky she washed that feather there could be diseases xD)

(XD)

She shuddered at that squirming at the feeling of the feather brushing down her skin as goosebumps form on her arm as her breathing once again hitched in excitement. He traced it up her leg and then to her core. She jerked at that as she let out a moan before I stop as my eye caught an eye mask on the side of her bed as I reach other as I hold it before putting it on her.

"Wh-what are you--"

"shh.. just focus on the feeling." I said as I resumed to trace the feather to her core.

She cried out and her thighs shake. I smile at that as I kept going as her hips thrust upward as she was probably feeling it ten fold as she shook more.

"I-I can't hold back!" She said, her hands turning to fists in her binds

She came hard the feather getting drenched in cum. She panted as I pulled it back as I smiled placing it on the bed still in shot as she seemed to relax as I smirk. The more I watch her and think of the others watching her like this, and seeing I was the one making her like this, the more excited I got.

I grab the candle as I pull the top down as she gasped and squirmed before letting out a Yelp when the wax fell on her breast. I smirked and did it. It was not hot enough to burn but also enough to make her stimulated. I wasn't going to pour boiling hot wax on her. She would flinch and let out soft whimpers, not of pain though. I smirked and then dropped one smallest drop of wax on her clit and she came again even harder than the last time.

(WARNING THIS IS BDSM AND THERE ARE SAFE WAXES TO USE IN THE BDSM DO NOT JUST TAKE YOUR SCENTED CADLE AND TRY THIS THAT IS NOT SAFE!!!)

(yeah there are candles that have a wax that drips at a lower heat)

(and look a lot of people class bdsm as torture. While there is a sub genre of machochist and sadism that does use sexual torture extensivel, a large part is about trust and boundaries. This is one example of asking to have the eye mask removed for the first time It's about compromise and figuring out the limits and testing those limits. Basically..sex in general)

(Yes it is a kink and trust is important if someone is using bdsm as a excuse to control you without your consent and a lot of manipulation (fifty shades of grey) then that is abuse and torture. A real bdsm relationship is built on trust love and respect)

(Here is actually proven things that happen in a abusive relationship that people say is okay because it is their "Kink" Woman (Or man) gets abused Then gets gifts like flowers (Ir in fifty shades of grey a house) then abused again and more gifts. Also a lot of people who want to control them will put a baby in you without your consent and make you keep it (Again fifty shades of grey) BOTTOM LINE FIFTY SHADES OF GREY IS ABUSIVE AND NOT BDSM RELATIONSHIP)

I smirked before looking at the camera for the first time as I smirk standing over her. I couldn't wait any longer as I ripped the dress off fully as she cried out. "W-What are you doing now?!"

"Taking you fully.--"

"W-wait! P-please.. can ..can you take the blindfold off? I... haven't had sex before ..I don't want to be in darkness when it happens.." she said softly.

I nodded and removed the mask and kiss her to reassure her. She kissed back but I could tell she was scared as she nudged her face into my neck.

"It's okay. Just take a deep breath.. and laugh okay?" I said as I pull my own pants down as she whimpered.

I take it slowly on pushing the tip in and letting her laugh it out most of the stress of something inside her the first time.

It was hard, seeing her cry but I knew she wasn't regretting it, shed tell me. I know she would. I still waiting for her as she clung to me with her legs.

"You want me to untie your arms so you can hold onto me properly?"

She nodded her head and I untie her and she instantly lings to me and grips me tight. I smiled and wiped her tears as I look at her and take one of her hands in mine as we waited, with me kissing her hand while waiting.

".." there seemed to be something she was red to say. "What is it?"

"...I ..I need you to pull out before you finish..I-I'm not on the pill." She said.

I froze for a second and knew I would NOT pull out I wanted a baby with her and I would say it was an accident.

(Okay like I said a bit ago yeah this is not healthy and he is controlling the choice but I NEVER said yanderes are healthy they are not this is fiction to enjoy in stories and not do in real life. Again fiction just for fun not for practice. I do not support manipulation or yandere tendencies.)

(and she is thinking it's a dream and the calming effect of 2030 really is helping him now)

(mmm hmmm)

She looked at me. "I-It's not that I don't want children..but I want to be one hundred percent sure that the father is just as committed and that the children have somewhere safe to live." She said softly looking at me

"They will I promise you, and I am. I want a family with you and want to marry you if I could I would do it right now." I tell her smiling with true love.

She looked at me shocked as she was about to speak before I didn't test thrust as she softly moaned. She wrapped her legs around me pulling me the rest of the way in and moaning loudly and in need. I smile at that as my breathing got Shakey. God..it felt so good. Why haven't I done any of this myself before?

"Y-You.. feel so good..~" she said softly as I felt my heart pound at that praise

“All for you~~” I purr

I liked it when. She praises me~ and she knew. She must have because she kept saying how I made her feel, how she liked the way I teaser her. It spurred me on making me feel so close. I held her close as I panted and start to thrust into her more as she cried out before I change positions. I wanted her to be seen, no better position than on top for that to happen. She gasped and put her hands on my chest to steady herself. She sat there for a second trying to get used to the new position before she slowly moved, looking at me like she was waiting for a sign of approval.

"Your doing so good beautiful~" I say and lean up kissing her. "Just like that~"

She smiled at me appreciating the feedback as she would lift herself up before sinking down and grinding her hips as I moan. "I-it might be easier if you don't clench down so hard." I said as she suddenly looked confused.

"But.. im not clenching?"

I blushed darkly and pulled her into a kiss and she kisses back. She is just that tight. If she did clench (She just pop that dick off XD) I don't think we could move.

(XD)

(XD)

(xD she's doing everything he did

She held me as I felt her clench down as I let out a Shakey moan. "That's what it's like if I clench it. Does that feel okay?"

"Oh God~Yes~!" I moaned if she kept that up I cum for sure.

However she suddenly stopped, just sitting atop me. "What? Why'd you stop?" I asked as she smiled. Consider it a punishment for not addressing those flowers to me." She teased.

She then started to tickle me and I laughed and she did it for so long I was rock hard. She then tied me up and started to ride me again slowly though.

(Oh How have the table have turned XD)

(xD she's doing everything he did)

(XD Yup getting ready for wax on your dick XD Jk or am I XD)

She rode me harder and faster as I can tell we are both getting close she then pulled out half way and took the candle and add one drop onto my dick and I came hard and she came as well falling on top of me.

(I was not kidding XD)

I got out of my bonds and snuggled her. "Merry Christmas." I say just as she falls asleep and I carried her off. Time to take her home.

(2 hours later)

(No One's POV)

"Hey Marie! Forgot my keys for my house, duh!" Her friend called out not getting a response as she looked around confused seeing cookies left on a tray untouched.

"Marie?" She called out. Was she sleeping? She sighed and walked into the bedroom.

Inside she found a mess like a good fucking was taken place here and a DVD. What the hell happen? She picked it up seeing a picture of Marie from behind unaware with the title 'christmas special.' She put it on and what she saw shocked her. There was no way that was her friend.. doing that kind of stuff.. and there was no way she would let that be filmed. Something was not okay she called the police right away.

[fanficwriter013]

The Tower: The Queen of Asgard - 28

The Tower: The Queen of Asgard An Avengers Fanfic

Series Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Pairing:  Avengers x OFC, Bruce Banner x Bucky Barnes x Clint Barton x Wanda Maximoff x Steve Rogers x Natasha Romanoff x Tony Stark x Thor x Sam Wilson x OFC (Elly Cooper)

Word Count: 4857

Warnings: Alcohol, strippers, body shots, smut (Bisexual orgy, oral, vaginal, and anal sex.  Thought sharing.  Multiple Orgasms)

Synopsis: The twins are now three and while the Avengers know that Clint and Thor are the biological father’s none of them know or care which blond, blue-eyed baby is related to which man.  When Riley gets the power to control wind and it becomes evident that she is the heir to the Asgardian throne, Elly, Steve, Thor, and Tony take the twins to Asgard to train her.

Not every Asgardian is happy with their king’s choice of consort, nor the impurity of the heir’s blood.  While others expect Thor to make things more official.  What’s clear is, the role of Queen of Asgard is not easily filled.

Author’s Note:  Written with @avengerscompound​ whom lets me send her nasty photos even though she doesn’t really want to see them

Chapter 28: The Bachelor Party

Clarke enjoyed going through my Asgardian closest and while I got dressed for the bachelor party, she chose both clothes to wear to the party and something to wear to the bonding ceremony.

In the end, I chose a two-piece outfit that was a matching skirt and top.  It was almost harem-style in that the top was a halter neck in a sheer white fabric.  The cleavage was low and it wrapped just low enough to support my breasts and was trimmed with gold.  The skirt was the same sheer white material with gold trim and reached the floor, but sat low on my hips thanks to a thick gold waistband.

The rest of the group were dressed in a mix of things.  Natasha was wearing something equally revealing but looked more like armor and was in a rust-red leather and gold plate.  The skirt was so short that if she bent over you could see her thong.

Wanda, on the other hand, was just in her casual hang around the house clothing of black skirt, long black socks, and red corset.  Tony wore a suit over a t-shirt and sneakers.  Bruce wore a thin lavender tunic over loose-fitting pants.  Thor was in armor.  Clint wore jeans and a t-shirt but had an almost collar-like choker on.  Sam, Bucky, and Steve were just in button-up shirts and dress pants, but none had the buttons all the way up and their sleeves were rolled up.

We all ate dinner in one of the larger dining rooms with our friends and the twins.  It wasn’t the feast of the week before, but it was still a large and decadent event.  This time only seven courses though.  The twins had been having so much fun with everyone there that by the time we got them to bed, they just crashed out.

When we were confident they were definitely asleep, Sif opened the door and a procession of strippers came and a few wait staff began to circulate with drinks.  The envoy had brought back some alcohol from Earth so we could all drink without fear of alcohol poisoning.

I sat cuddling with Nat and drinking while I watched the dancers.  Everyone was relaxed and having a good time with their friends and enjoying the entertainment, except for Bruce.  He stood awkwardly at the side of the room, not really looking at the dancers and holding a drink but not actually drinking it.

“B, come here, my loves,” I called to him, waving him over.

He moved around the back of the room and sat down next to me curling in and turning away from the rest of the group.

“I got you.  It’s just us, you can relax.”  I said gently, holding him close to me.

We were sitting like that for 20 minutes or so.  Bruce may have relaxed a little, but it was very little.  The strippers, after spending the day naked with a stranger painting him had put his anxiety into overdrive, which had put Hulk in protective mode and he kept pushing on Bruce to see if he was okay, even though that was making it worse.

“Why isn’t there anyone dancing?”  Tony asked the room loudly.

I looked up at him.  “You wanna dance?”

“Maybe,” he said.  “Yes.”

I leaned into Bruce’s ear and took his hand and put it on the bare skin on my waist.  “You wanna dance with Tony?”  I whispered.  He made a choked squeak sound and his fingers flexed on my side.  “What kind of noise was that, Doctor Banner?”  I whispered.  He shook his head and pressed a kiss to his neck.  “Did you want to watch Tony and I dance for a little while?”  I whispered.  He shook his head again, making the same noise but deeper this time.  I kissed his neck slowly and rubbed his bicep.  “What do you want?”

He looked up at me, his eyes now both deep green.  I chuckled and shook my head affectionately.  “Hey, Big Guy.  Things a little too much fun right now, huh?”  I said moving his hand around to the middle of my back.  He nodded and looked around a little.  “Can we come to a compromise?  You can come out for the party if you agree to let Bruce enjoy some of it too?”

“Okay,” he grumbled.

I got up and led him to a quieter part of the room and helped him off with his tunic.  “See you soon,” I said and kissed his cheek, standing back to give Hulk room.

The transformation was surprisingly quick and we were all greeted by a smiling and excited looking Hulk.  “Party!”  He rumbled and patted me affectionately on the head before going over to watch the dancers.

I moved over to Tony and he pulled me into his arms.  “Let’s dance then.”  He said.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and we started to move together.  Other people joined us on the floor.

“This is nice,” Tony said.

“Mmm… We don’t do this too often.  And when we do it’s at a thing,” I agreed.  “Which means cameras.”

“No cameras here,” he said, tucking a  lock of my hair behind my ear.  “So we can do any kind of dancing we want to.”

“Title of your sex tape,”  Clint teased as he twirled Wanda beside us.

“You’d know.  You’re in it.”  I shot back.

I moved my knee between Tony’s and he put his hand in the middle of my back as I started to grind on him.

“If you’re gonna dirty dance, make sure you don’t do the lift,” Clint teased.  “You’ll put the old man’s back out.”

“You better watch it Barton, or I’ll put your back out.”  Tony countered.

Clint quirked his eyebrows at Tony and bit his bottom lip and I completely lost it laughing.

“I don’t know about anyone else,” Clint said.  “But I think with what Natasha and El are wearing, we should be taking body shots off them.”

“Mm… I think that sounds like a great idea.”  Tony agreed, running his hand around my hip and over my stomach.  

“Alright.  I’m game.”  Natasha said getting up and heading to the bar.  I chuckled and followed after her and we both stretched out on the countertop, our heads touching.

After a little discussion with Sif, some tequila from earth was brought out, along with salt and a fruit that was more sweet than sour, but very juicy was cut up.  I put a wedge in my mouth and a few of our friends started with the body shots off us.  Fury taking one off of Nat, while Jax took one off of me.  Scott and Hill took turns.  Coulson and Hope.  Even T’Challa took one of Nat.

Eventually Tony muscled his way over to me, pushing Fandral away from me. “Mine.”  He said running his hands down my stomach.  He ran a line of salt along my cleavage and filled my belly button with tequila before slowly running his tongue over the line of salt.  I tangled my hands in his hair as he sucked the liquid from my belly button and when he came up to take the fruit from my mouth I let it go and pulled him down into a hungry kiss.  He pulled me up to him a little so my back arched and his tongue pushed into my mouth so I could taste the salt and alcohol.

“Alright.  Quit hogging.”  Clint teased, muscling Tony out of the way.  “Reload.”

Tony moved up to Natasha as Clint ran the salt down my stomach and filled my belly button.  

He put one hand on my hip but wasted no time, leaning in and roughly and sloppily licking up the salt and sucking up the alcohol.  He leaned up to take the fruit but I dropped it again and kissed him the same way he took the shot.  He pulled me up against him, his hands bunching in my hair and making a soft rumbling sound.  I pulled back with a gasp. “What are you guys trying to do to me?”  I whispered.

“Just having fun, princess.”  He smirked, giving my thigh a squeeze and letting me back down on the bar.

“Okay, my turn.  You go to Nat.”  Wanda said, moving up.

She set up the salt and tequila and as she licked over my skin she flicked her fingers and set a little ball of pink energy over my skin, making me prickle and squirm under her.  I started taking shallow breaths and squeezing my legs together and before she had even made it to the fruit I’d let it go.  She smiled lovingly at me and leaned in, kissing me deeply.

As we kissed, Sam was already running the salt along my cleavage.  “Alright, alright.  My go, Wan.”  He said.

She pulled back and pressed a kiss to my forehead before moving up to take a shot of Natasha.

“I’m gonna be a huge tease,”  Sam said as he filled my belly button with the cold liquid.

“Okay,” I smirked, biting into a piece of the fruit.

He ran his fingers down my sides, barely even touching my skin and taking his time as he moved towards the salt.  My skin broke out in goosebumps and I squirmed on the bar, whining a little.

When he finally leaned in to lick up the salt, he did it in small, kitten licks, dragging the process out and making me shiver all over.  I moaned and arched my back up, the liquid in my belly button spilling over the sides and making a wet trail over my stomach.

Sam licked it up with a broad swipe and sucked slowly on my skin.

“Fuck!”  I gasped, dropping the fruit so it fell to the floor and rolled away.

Sam pulled back and looked down at me.  “Good thing we didn’t really want that anyway.”  He teased.

In an instant, he was kissing me.  I wrapped my arms around him and dug my fingers into his back as he pulled me flush against me and kissed me passionately.  I moaned into his lips and our tongues came out and swirled together.

“Alright, you two.”  Bucky teased.  “There’s a line here.”

I pulled back slowly, looking up into Sam’s eyes, feeling breathless and extremely turned on.

“Come on, man,” Sam teased.

“Gotta share, Sammy,”  Bucky said, patting Sam’s hip.  “And look, Nat’s already set up and waitin’ for ya.”

He looked over at Natasha and smirked.  “Well, alright.”  He said letting me down and moving to Natasha.

As Bucky set up the salt and alcohol I put my hand on his hip and flexed my fingers.  He used mead, which was warm on my skin compared to the tequila

“Getting handsy?”  He asked as he offered me a piece of the fruit.

“Mm-hmm…”  I hummed.

“Mm-hmm…”  He teased, dropping down to lick the salt off my skin.  He took his time, running his tongue over my stomach while his fingers teased my sides.  I started trembling ever so slightly and when he finally moved to suck up the alcohol, I tightened my hand in his hair and arched my back, pushing myself up to him more.

He placed small kisses on his way up to get the fruit and as he went for it, I let it fall.  He wrapped me in his arms and pulled me into a deep kiss.  He smiled into it and his hands spread out on my back.  I hummed softly and we both very slowly pulled back.

“Hey, doll,” he said looking down at me.

“Hey, Buck.”  I said and brushed his hair back from his face.

“Next.  Come on.”  Steve said, nudging Bucky.

“Fine, punk.”  Bucky teased, letting me back down onto the bar and moving up to Natasha.

I giggled and stretched out as Steve ran a line of salt along my neck.

“Should I even pretend with the fruit?”  I asked as he filled my belly button with mead.

“Nope,” he said simply.

He put his hand on my hip and looked down at me.

“You gonna go slow?”  I asked.

“Depends.”

“On what?”

He smirked and flexed his fingers.  “Manners.”

He then began to tortuously drag out the whole process.  Ghosting his lips over my skin.  Teasing his hands over me.  Licking up the salt with small kitten licks.

My skin prickled and I squirmed under him, panting a little as my nipples hardened and I started getting really wet.  “Please, Steve.”  I begged.

That little word triggered a shift.  He sucked the alcohol from my skin and moved up.  He paused, sucking on my throat for a moment, before putting his hand at the base of my spine and dragging me into a deep kiss.  I wrapped my arms around him and for a moment I forgot we weren’t in the middle of the living room with a bunch of other people.  It was just Steve and I kissing.

He pulled back and looked into my eyes.  “Hello, sweetheart.  Having some fun?”

“Mm… I am very turned on right now.”  I answered.

“Then it sounds like it’s my turn.”  Thor chuckled, moving up.

Steve let me go and moved to the side and I lay back.  “Alright, my love,”  I said.

He placed a hand on my hip and ran a light current through me from his fingertips.

“Oh,” I gasped softly.

“Mm… we are going to have some fun, my queen.”  He teased.

He set up the drink and put his other hand on my thigh.  The current ran from his hand at my hip, through my stomach, and to the hand he had on my thigh and made my muscles clench involuntarily.  I jerked a little and gasped gently.

“You’re okay?”  He asked.

“Mm…”  I hummed and nodded my head.

He leaned down kissing my neck, just above where he’d run the salt.  I moaned softly as he sucked on my skin and I gripped his bicep.

“Oh, get a room.”  Clint yelled.

Thor chuckled.  It was a deep rumble of a sound and little sparks danced over my skin.  He licked down over the salt, painfully slowly, adding to the charge building in me.

“Thor,” I whimpered.  “You’re teasing me.”

“And what would you have me do?”  He asked.

“Everything.”  I whimpered.

“Everything?”  He teased.  “In front of all these people?”

I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head, which made him chuckle again.  He went back to teasing me slowly, making me feel like a live wire.  Natasha reached behind her and caressed my cheek, and I leaned into it a little.  He sent little ripples of electricity through me, that made my muscles clench in different ways and had me squirming on the bar, completely desperate for some relief.

Finally, he lapped up the salt roughly and drank the alcohol from my stomach, sucking on my skin hard enough to mark it.  I groaned and tugged on his hair, about ready to beg him to just take me on the bar in front of everyone.  He brought his lips to mine and as we kissed, sparked radiated off him.

When he pulled back he smiled down at me.

“You are the biggest tease in the universe.”  I huffed.

He shrugged.  “It comes with the crown.”

“Anyone want to do a shot off of me and not make it foreplay?”  I asked.

“Yeah, me,” Clarke said.  She came over and did a shot off of my stomach.  I giggled as she took the fruit and poked me in the side.

I looked over at Hulk who had been watching on, quite entertained.  “You or Bruce want to have a go, Big Guy?”

“Hulk want,” Hulk said patting his chest.

“Come on over then.”  I said.

I stretched out and Clint set up the salt and alcohol for Hulk.  He moved in close and put a giant thumb over my side.  “What do?”  He rumbled.

You gotta lick up the salt, then drink this drink here -”  Clint said poking my stomach.  “Then you come up and take the fruit from El’s mouth with your mouth.”

Hulk nodded and looked down at me.  “Hulk gentle.”

“I know, honey.  I trust you.”  I said, patting his hand and putting a whole piece of fruit in my mouth.

He moved very slowly, trying to be gentle as his tongue ran over my stomach and dipped into my belly button.  When he moved up to get the fruit I let it go and cupped both sides of his jaw, and planted a wet smack of a kiss on his lips.  He pulled back chuckling and blushing a darker green.

“Okay,” I said, sitting up.  “Wanna dance?”

He nodded and I climbed off the bar and pulled Hulk around the dance floor in a fast pace dance, letting him spin me and lift me up.  Clint cut in and I went and flopped down on the couch breathless.

I had a drink and spoke with Clarke and Hope for a while and then the Hulk lumbered over and sat beside me.  One of the dancers came over and started giving him his own little private dance and he watched on wide-eyed.

When she was mostly naked and finishing up her dance it was getting quite late and I thought it was a good time to ask to get Bruce back, so he might have a chance to enjoy the party too.

“You like that, big guy?”  I asked.

He grunted and nodded his head.

“You think that Bruce can come back now and enjoy some of the party too before we all head to bed?”  I asked.

Hulk pouted for a moment before agreeing after I told him that if he behaved Bruce might let him share when we said our goodbyes before we had to go into isolation.  When he’d shrunk back down, I pounced on him.

“Oh, hello.”  He said, a little startled, but closing his arms around me.

“Welcome back,”  I said, peppering his cheeks with kisses.

He glanced around the room, and his cheeks flushed pink.  “That person is naked.”  He whispered.

“She stripped for the Hulk,” I said.

“Wh- she did?”  He stammered.

“Mm-hmm.  Hulk had a nice time.  We danced.  You want to dance?”  I asked.

“Uh…”  He said.  “No, thank you.”

“What do you want to do?”  I asked walking my fingers up his bare chest.  “It’s all on the table.”

“All?”

“Mm-hmm…”  I hummed, kissing his neck.

“She’s not kidding.  They’ve worked me and El up quite nicely.” Natasha said.

“And we’ll take care of it.”  Thor teased.

“Like there was any question of that.”  Tony said.

“Come here, Tony and convince Bruce to relax,” I said.  “I want to dance.”

Tony came over and flopped down directly on top of Bruce and Thor came and sat beside them.  I got up and grabbed Steve’s hand.  “Come on.”

He followed after me and spun me into his arms when we got to the dance floor.  We started to slowly move to the music and he rested his cheek on the top of my head as I lay my cheek on his chest.  “You get to have everything, Steve.”

“Everything.”  He repeated.

“Are you happy?”

He ran his hand up to the middle of my back and I looked up at him.  “I think so.”

“Only think?”

“I’m nervous, El.”  He said softly.

“What about?”

He shook his head a little.  “Being alone.”

“For the prep stage, you mean?”

He nodded.  “Yes, and the ceremony.”

“Well, you’ll have Scott with you.  And then after, you never have to be alone again.”

He leaned down and kissed me tenderly, relaxing into me a little more and humming against my lips.  We kept swaying and he slowly pulled back.

“Did you dance with Bucky?”  I asked.

“Mm-hmm.  He made me.”

I chuckled.  “That’s good.  It’s been a long time coming.  You know the next time you dance with him, he’ll be your husband.”

He made a soft little sound and his eyes shimmered.  “I keep thinking that something will happen to stop it.”

I shook my head.  “It won’t.  You get to have everything.”

He smiled contentedly and rested his cheek against me as we swayed to the music.  When the song finished Bucky took over and the two of us danced a more energetic number together.  When we were done I was sweaty and starting to want the party to be over for real.

I went back over the Bruce and sat in his lap.  “You having fun yet?”

“I want too.  But…”  He trailed off.

“Who’s preventing it?  The strippers?”  I asked.  He flushed and looked down.  “That… was not the reaction I was expecting.”  I said which made him turn an even darker shade of red.  “You’re allowed to like them,” I whispered.  He made an almost squeak sound and flexed his fingers on my hip.  “Which one do you like the most?”

“The same one you do, El,” Wanda said.

I called her over and asked if she minded giving a dance to the two of us.  She began to gyrate in front of Bruce and me, running her hands over her body.

“Being trouble, El?”  Steve teased.

“Always,” I said, not taking my eyes off the stripper as she began to lose clothes.

“Just watch the colors.”  He warned.

She teased her hands up our arms as she leaned over us.  Bruce shifted a little and his eyes flicked around.  I adjusted how I was sitting, so I was directly on top of his lap, and I wrapped his arms around my waist.  I leaned back against his shoulder so my lips brushed over the shell of his ear.  “There, now the only one who will know how your body is reacting is me.  You’re totally safe.  You can even touch me if you feel the urge.”  I whispered.

He rested his forehead against my shoulder and just peeked over at the dancer.  As she danced for use I could feel his erection growing.  “El.”  He rumbled against my ear.  “You think we can go soon?”

I didn’t even need to react.  I assume Wanda had felt his need too and passed it on to Steve because he cleared his throat loudly.  “Thank you for coming such a long way to celebrate with us, friends.  We all are so grateful to have you.  Right now though, we have some goodbyes to say due to tradition, so we are going to bid you all goodnight.  Some of us will see you in the morning.  To the others, we’ll see you at the ceremony.  Feel free to stay here as long as you like enjoying the company and entertainment.  When you’re ready to crash, let Sif or one of the Warriors Three know and they’ll take you to your lodgings.”

We got up wishing everyone goodnight and beelined into Thor’s room.  We all shed our clothes very quickly.  Some like Clint just quickly and awkwardly stripping and kicking his clothes across the room.  While others like Natasha and Steve stripped each other as they kissed.

We climbed up onto Thor’s bed and for a while, it was just touching and kissing.  There was no rhyme or reason to it.  I would be kissing Wanda and then Clint would touch my shoulder and I’d turn and start kissing him.  We each spent time comparing the artwork on our bodies seeing the parts that were the same and which were different.  Exploring them with our eyes and hands and mouths.  Slowly we seemed to pair off, still staying close to the group, so much so that even in our paired states it was easy to touch or kiss the people next to us, but it was definite pairing.

The other thing that seemed to have happened was each person who had assumed they were going to outlive most of the rest was losing everyone, was with someone who had a normal human lifespan.  Clint was with Bruce, Steve with Wanda, Natasha with Sam, Tony with Thor, while I was with Bucky.

Bucky let me push him on his back and I began kissing my way up his chest as I straddled his waist.  “Remember when we met, Bucky?”  I asked as I swirled my tongue over his nipple.

“Mm-hmm…”  He hummed, as he ran his hand down my sides and gripped my hips.  “You had no pants on and you reeked of sex.”

“Mmm, my favorite way to be,” I said and leaned in and kissed him deeply.  Steve reached over and ran his hand along my shoulder.  Wanda sat in his lap and they were slowly kissing.

As I trailed kisses down Bucky’s jaw to his neck he rutted up under me.  “You know that day when you got taken.  I thought it was my fault.”

I stopped what I was doing and looked down at him.  “Why did you think that?”

“We kissed and I liked you and right away you got taken.”  He said.  “Back then, it was like I knew I didn’t get to keep people, and you were the first one I was going to lose.”

I smiled at him and raised myself up.  I took his cock in my hand and lowered myself back down on it.  “You never have to lose any of us.”  I groaned as he filled me. I leaned over him, looking down into his eyes.  “Even when you’re super sick of us.”

“Oh no.”  He teased and pulled me down into a hard kiss.

I started to ride him, moving up and down on his cock in quick deliberate moves, squeezing his shaft my walls as I bounced.  Around us, the room was becoming louder with the sounds of sex.  Wanda and Steve sat in lotus.  Wanda rolling her hips in Steve’s lap as they kissed.  They would each reach out to the people near them like they were trying to draw them in and connect with them too.  Clint was riding Bruce’s cock, his head falling back as he ran his hands over Bruce’s chest.  Bruce looked up at him with his jaw clenched like he was just trying to hold on for the ride.  Tony had Thor on all fours and was fucking him from behind.  Thor would reach behind him and take Tony’s hand and send a current running through them, or he’d reach over and touch Sam, who had his hands pinned down while Natasha rode him.

Bucky thrust up into me as I moved and I started to move faster.  It was like I was in a race to get him off, sweat beaded on my skin as heat radiated off both of us.  He flipped me suddenly and cradled my shoulders as he looked down into my eyes.  “Slow down, doll,” he said.  “I’m not going anywhere either.  We have all the time in the world.”

He started to roll his hips into mine, slowly and deeply.  I dug my hands into his back and Wanda reached over and took my hand.  We linked fingers and her eyes glowed pink and all at once I could feel everything.  Everyone in the room.  The pleasure they felt.  Their fears.  Their hopes.  How in love they were.  The relief those were that expected loss were feeling and the fearful excitement everyone else had. I could feel the way Hulk pressed on Bruce and the pain Tony had in his chest and right arm.  I keened and arched up under Bucky, my nails digging into his skin.  My senses were overwhelmed, I came almost instantaneously but Bucky didn’t ease up.  He pulled back and looked down into my eyes.  “El, look at me.”  He whispered. 

I looked into his eyes and tethered myself to him.  I still felt everything thanks to Wanda but now my connection to Bucky was even greater.  He had pain and fear too, but his relief and love overwhelmed almost everything else. “God, I love you, Bucky.”  I moaned. 

“I love you too, Elly.”  He rumbled, picking up his pace.

I was brought apart again and again.  Each time someone else in the room came it dragged me over with them.  I didn’t know how Wanda could handle it.  I finally knew why she was always so spent by the time we were done.  I completely lost count of how many times I came or even if by the end I wasn’t just having one long drawn out orgasm but by the time Bucky’s hips jerked forward and he emptied inside me all I could do was weakly hold on to him as I looked into his blue eyes.

He slipped out and pulled me into his arms.  I was only half aware that Wanda, Steve, Bruce, and Clint were all already cuddled into the pile that Bucky lifted me into.  Wanda curled up next to me and I was asleep before the covers were on us.

//NEXT

[fierypen37]

The Oasis: Chapter 17

Chapter 17

 They whiled away the afternoon snuggled on the couch watching movies. Her choice was a rom-com about a hard-ass businesswoman accidentally falling in love with her assistant. Jon felt for the poor bastard loving his lady from afar. It was easy to daydream and project the two of them into the roles. It suited his romantic streak. Daenerys really was a badass businesswoman after all. He’d pine for her in silence. Her tea would always be hot. Her appointments would always be on time. Jon would be her shadow, her right hand as she conquered the world. Watching them fall in love made him absurdly happy. Watching the firelight dance on her features and shine in her hair, he had never felt more content.

Now, in the kitchen, they nibbled on lush strawberries crusted with chocolate. Mesmerized, he watched Daenerys take a bite, red juice dribbling down her chin. Fuck. He could watch her fold laundry or file taxes and it would make him hard. Jon looked away to distract himself. What else could he think about? Her favorite color was green, like tree leaves in summer and the sea near her home on Dragonstone. She always double-tied her shoelaces. She liked wine and hated beer. She had neat table manners, except with dessert. She snored. And she probably needed glasses from the way she squinted at the warming instructions on the prepackaged tea. Well shit. Now his dick and his chest were aching with longing.

“You ok?” her voice was soft. Jon blinked. Sitting on the counter, tousled, in her dark purple nightgown, swinging her feet as she nibbled on another berry. It was really unfair how cute she was. And too sexy to be real. Daenerys was beautiful. Inside and out. How the fuck would she ever pick him? Awkward. Working class. Too serious. A mess of hang-ups and neuroses. There was a list of men a mile long who would be lucky to polish her shoes or fetch her tea.      

“Yeah. Why?”

“You’re staring at that wall like it personally offended you.”

“Am I?”

“Yes.”

“Well, I guess I never noticed the crack around the support beam. I’ll have to tell Mrs. Stark to check the foundation.”

“Good to know. You’re a handy man to have around, Mr. Snow,” Daenerys said with a grin. Jon sidled closer to sample a berry. The soft richness of the chocolate exploded on his tongue chased by the berry’s bright sweetness.

“Damn, that’s delicious,” he said. Daenerys smile widened. There was a strawberry seed stuck in one of her perfect teeth. She wrapped her leg around him, drawing him closer.

“Let me taste,” she said, bending to kiss him. Yeah, so good. Soft lips, the faint lingering sweetness of chocolate, the stroke of her tongue. Jon hummed happily into her mouth, hands sliding up the strong grip of her thighs. Velvet-soft skin and so warm. Her hair fell forward around them both like a living veil. Jon cupped her hips, growling as her fingernails delicately scraped his scalp. Daenerys drew his lower lip into her mouth, nibbling gently. The sensation sent blood surging south.

“Yeah, you taste good,” she said with a languid lick below his ear. Jon bit his lip to keep from whimpering. Flirty, dominant Daenerys was a whole new level of sexy. The kiss spun on, Daenerys teased and coaxed him into a fever pitch. Trapped against the counter, his cock twitched, eager for the slick heat of her. Her arms and legs hugged him close, her mouth mapping new paths to pleasure as she kissed and nibbled on his neck.

“Dany,” he breathed, desperate and needy. Daenerys did that thing to his ear with her tongue. Gods, he fucking loved that. Something in him snapped. Jon yanked her hips toward the edge of the counter.

“Lie back.” His accent thickened, his voice was hoarse and rough. Pupils blown wide, lips wet and pink, she looked utterly delectable. Gods, he wanted to devour her. His mouth filled with saliva. She sank back on her elbows on the polished counter, legs spread to welcome him. Jon nudged her thighs wider, breathing deep of her sweet musky smell. Mmm, her nether lips were already glistening from just a kiss. A soft lap opened her. He would never slake his longing for her. As he worked her clit, slowly, patiently, he listened to the music of her whimpers and sighs and incensed breathing. So good. With a sharp cry, she came against his face, awash with lube.

“Jon,” she whimpered, her hands fisted in hanks of his hair. Jon smiled against her pussy, nuzzling her nether lips tenderly. He would exploit his intimate knowledge of her body until she was clawing and begging for his cock. Jon teased her clit with his tongue, feeling her shudder.

“Jon, Jon,” her voice was sharp, cold. Jon looked up at her face, confused. All the lovely color had drained away, now she look pale, scared.

“There’s someone at the door.”

Fuck! Jon whirled around, positioning her directly behind him. The doorknob jiggled.

“Get the gun. Now!”

Daenerys slid off the counter and bounded for the stairs. Jon yanked a knife from the block on the island. Fear doused him like cold water. How was he such a fucking idiot? She was on the run for her life and here he was going down on her in the kitchen without a care in the world with Barry’s gun upstairs. Gods, he could get them both killed—

“Jon? Are you here?” Arya’s voice deflated all his tension. His little sister shouldered her way through the door, laden with plastic bags of takeaway. Outside, he heard the din of the rain, and saw her black truck parked on the circle drive.

“You’ll never believe it, but this fucking cattle truck was jack-knifed on the highway. And somehow the cows got loose and--”

“Arya? Seven fucking hells, you scared me!” Jon said, setting the knife down and moving around the island to help her.

“Dany, false alarm, it’s just Arya!” he called upstairs. Arya glared at him beneath her fringe of wet dark brown hair.

“I called you about a million times. Check your phone!” His phone. Wedged between the couch cushions somewhere. Gods, he was a fucking idiot. Jon glanced toward the stairs. Daenerys would be well within her rights to tell him to fuck all the way off and find a real bodyguard to protect her.

Arya’s grey eyes wandered over the scattered foodstuffs, the faint flickering of firelight, Jon standing awkwardly behind the island. He was decent, at least. That zing of adrenaline had killed any arousal. A catlike grin stretched on Arya’s face.

“You were fucking, weren’t you? Gods, Jon! I knew it! I knew you two were fucking!” Jon lunged for Arya, intent on wrestling her to the ground to shut her up. She danced around the island with ease, giggling.

“Shut up! Gods, Arya. Yes, if you must know, we’re intimate. But shut up about it, yeah?” he said. Arya set down her burden. The potent spice and oil wafting from it made his stomach gurgle. Dothraki barbeque.

“‘Intimate,’ he says. Prig. I can’t wait to tell Gendry. He owes me ten crowns.” Jon cast an aggrieved glance up. Gods save him from little sisters.

“You want me to beg, I’ll beg. Please shut up. She’s been through enough.”

Arya sobered, dragging her fingers through her wet hair.

“Yeah, it’s a tough go. You’re mad for her, aren’t you?” The question brought him up short. Jon swallowed hard.

“I am,” he said quietly. Arya whistled low.

“Does she feel the same?” Jon closed his eyes. Daenerys with the sun shining through her hair, smiling in his bed. Holding her hand in the tense cab ride from the city. The way her mouth formed his name as they made love. Did she?

Gods, he wanted it so bad.

“I . . . I don’t know.”

Arya shrugged, boosting herself up to sit on the counter.

“Have you asked?”

A soft clearing of throat saved him from answering. Daenerys glided down the stairs, dressed now in black leggings and a goldish sweater, the neckline loose enough to bare one shoulder. Barefoot, with her hair a wavy silken waterfall. She looked like something out of the fashion magazines Sansa poured over.

“Hey, sorry if I scared you. I’d phoned Jon I was coming over. I brought food!” Arya said with a charming smile. Daenerys returned the gesture with equal warmth.

“No worries, Jon and I had a movie on. We must have fallen asleep. It’s a pleasure to meet you,” she said with an easy handshake, “Arya, right? Jon’s told me about you.” Arya cast him a sly glance. A touch smug. It said, ‘She’s got your number, Snow.’ And damn if that wasn’t the gods’ honest truth.

“Good things, I hope.”

“Mostly that you’re a bit of a wild card, and could kick his ass seven ways to the sept,” Daenerys said with shy glance his way. Jon slid his hand into hers, hyper-aware of his little sister’s knowing gaze. Daenerys gave his hand a comforting little squeeze. Arya laughed, preening a little.

“That’s definitely true. Gendry—my boyfriend slash manager slash promoter—he says we could get a title shot if my next few fights go well.” Jon’s jaw dropped.

“You’re fighting again? Does your mum know?” he asked. Arya shrugged, her patented gesture when things got a little too uncomfortable—or if her mother came up in conversation. Arya’s desire and skill in the arena were a source of contention between her and her mother. All of her decisions were a source of contention with the formidable Mrs. Stark.

“She doesn’t want to hear about it. I mailed her an invite to my next fight. I hope to see her there. If not, I have a lot of people in my corner.”

Silence fell for a long, uncomfortable beat.  

“Thank you for braving this weather to bring us food,” Daenerys said after a moment, waving a hand to encompass the heavy rain.

Arya snorted, sliding down from the counter to rummage in the fridge for a beer. Deftly popping the cap off on the counter edge, she handed one to Daenerys before taking another for herself. Jon arched a brow at Arya. She grinned in answer, and Jon released Daenerys long enough to nudge behind Arya to snag a bottle of water for himself. No more fucking around. He was on watch. It earned an approving nod from his sister.

“It’s fine. Just a bit of rain. You should see the roads in winter. Sometimes even the snow plows get buried.”

“I’m a city girl. I don’t even have my permit,” Daenerys said as she sipped her beer.

“The north is the best place to learn to drive. Sheep outnumber people five to one,” Arya joked.

“Maybe I’ll learn then,” Daenerys said. She moved toward the bulging plastic sack of food, sniffing appreciatively.

Talk flowed easily as they heaped delicious roasted meat on their plates, redolent with spice. Traditional Dothraki stuff was mostly game, but the spice blend was perfect for beef. Arya told them about her training, her apartment, Gendry. Jon had met him once. Big bloke, a former fighter himself. The pole-axed look he gave Arya told Jon enough. Gendry was made for her.

“Mmm, you have Dothraki barbeque up here?”

“There’s a Dothraki transplant in Winterfell, Quono Riderman. His food is the best,” Jon said.

“I love Dothraki food. I was horse-mad as a kid. Mother hired a riding teacher Irri. She was a stickler for tradition. We’d always go to this authentic Dothraki restaurant after lessons,” Daenerys said. He was aware of Daenerys watching him as he tucked in.

“I’m surprised you can handle it,” Daenerys teased him, laughter in her eyes. A northerner to his core, he had a Westerosi palate. Arya and Daenerys added hot sauce to theirs, while Jon sweated. The meat was good, but gods. His mouth was on fire.

“It tastes great. The salad helps with the spice,” Jon said, trying not to cough. The greens and vegetables were crisp, and the vinegary dressing was cooling. The melty ice cream for dessert was even better, a coffee and chocolate swirl thing that was Arya’s favorite.

“So I hear there’s some bad blokes after you. Tell me about it,” Arya asked as they tidied the dishes. He watched worriedly as Daenerys paused, hands wrist-deep in soapy hot water.

“They call themselves the Harpy Triumvirate. Individuals from the three great cities of the Bay of Dragons: Astapor, Yunkai, and Meereen. I run an anti-trafficking organization called Breaking Chains. They’ve been sending me death threats for years. Only this week they’ve backed up the talk with violence.” The words were cold, clinical. Jon could hear the lawyer paring down the terror and death into impartial facts. Arya whistled low.

“That sucks,” she said. The understatement drew a crooked smile from Daenerys. She glanced at him, a soft, shining look.

“It does suck. But Jon saved me. That day and every day since.” Arya’s grin glowed with pride.

“He’s a good bloke to have around in a sticky spot,” she said.

“He is,” Daenerys said. Seven hells, he was blushing. There was nothing he could say without sounding like a fatuous asshole, so Jon took a long draught from his water bottle.

“Daenerys, I’d be happy to show you a couple things. Just in case.”

Daenerys’ face lit up.

“I would love that.” Both looked to him. Jon lifted his hands.

“I volunteer to finish washing up,” he said. Daenerys chuckled, kissing his cheek in passing. The glancing touch sent little tingles through him. He fancied the spot glowed. Their amiable chatter made him deeply happy. Arya was easy to get along with, but she was also very protective of him. Seeing her get on so well with Daenerys set him at ease. It had been the same subtle feeling when he met and approved of Gendry. Jon washed the dishes, tidied the leftovers, wiped down the countertops and set the kettle aside for tea. An ear turned toward the den heard the murmur of their conversation, punctuated liberally with giggling. With women, giggling was usually a good sign.

Jon tiptoed to the den and peeked in. Arya stood behind Daenerys, one muscular arm locked around her neck, the other pinioning her hands behind her. Gods, Arya’s been training hard. She looks like she’s gained a stone in muscle.

“Ok, so if a fucker’s got you from behind, more than likely he’s gonna feel pretty confident. This hand--” Arya jiggled the one holding Dany’s wrists, “—will more than likely be relaxed, ‘cause he’s got an arm around your throat. So first snap back with your hips, create a little space.” Brow forked in concentration; Dany tried. Biting back a smile, Jon leaned against the doorjamb. It made him crazy to think of Dany having to use Arya’s self-defense techniques, but the demo was important.

“Like that?” she asked.

Arya smile grew broader.

“Yeah yeah, once you do that you break the hold of his hands, you can duck under the arm—yeah like that and rip his junk off.”

“Leave the fucker writhing in pain as you run off,” Jon interjected. Arya had Daenerys repeat the move and its variations on both her and Jon over and over again. After forty-five minutes of training, his shoulders and chest felt a little sore, but he counted it worth it. Daenerys winced as she stood after Arya demonstrating some sort of Yi Tish balance-block move. Arya helped her up, nodding in sympathy.

“My first coach Syrio said every bruise is a lesson, and every lesson makes you better.”

“He sounds like a wise man,” Daenerys said. By consensus, they agreed more training would wait. They collapsed back on the couch. Arya sobered.

“Syrio’s a tough old bastard. He told me there is only one god, and his name is Death. And there is only one thing we say to Death: Not today.”

                                                               ~

 Daenerys and Jon stood on the porch waving to Arya as she drove off into the dusk. The rain had let up slightly, but grey clouds brooded overhead. Daenerys nestled closer to Jon’s side. Even in summer, the evening chill was biting. Jon followed her back inside and together they wordlessly began tidying the remnants of their meal. Despite the late lunch, Arya rummaged through the fridge and insisted on a bit of supper. Robb and Margaery’s choice of lobster was excellent, as was the turtle soup sopped up with oven-warmed bread dripping with butter. Calories didn’t count on the lam.

“Are you sure you’re ok with this?” she asked.

Arya had pointed out rather succinctly that given the odds against them, Jon was outnumbered and outmanned. Winterfell with its high walls, cameras, and hired security were a far better option. Anxiety coiled taut in her belly. A sidelong glance found his brow knitted, a frown flattening the lush curve of his mouth. Jon had been explicit: he wouldn’t risk his family for her sake. Arya had been quick to wave off any concern. The youngest two Bran and Rickon were south for the weekend with their mother visiting Mrs. Stark’s family in the River district. Mr. Stark was in the Storm district on business, Sansa was at uni.

Daenerys buried her hands in the dishwater to hide them shaking. Of course he wouldn’t want her in Winterfell. Even with most of his family away, Arya was still there, who he obviously adored. He had only known her for a week. He owed her nothing. The silence was unbearable.

“Would you say something?” she said sharply. Jon glanced at her, his scowl deepening.

“What?” he asked.

“’What?’” Daenerys repeated, “If you don’t want me to go to Winterfell, just say so. I can find my own way.”  

The words emerged sharper and nastier than she intended, but the thought of being unwanted pricked her deepest insecurities. Her father had wanted another son, Vis had wanted to live without the burden of a little sister, Daario wanted Jeyne. Daenerys chewed on her lower lip, struggling to breathe down the shrieking panic. Jon had become a safe place, a peaceful paradise. Without him, she felt cast adrift, rudderless. Something in his posture stiffened. His dark eyes flashed.

“You want to leave?” he said quietly. No. No, never.

“You’ve done enough. I can--”

“‘Done enough?’ Yeah, nearly gotten you killed, right? Or do you mean fucking you? Was that ‘enough?’” Daenerys flinched as if he’d struck her and shook her head, marching in the direction of the stairs. She would pack up a few things and hike to the nearest petrol station. A phone call to Vis or Jory would be enough.

“Stop, Jon. Now you’re just being nasty.” Jon followed her, dark and thunderous as the stormclouds outside. The bedroom was a wreck, sheets and blankets strewn on the floor from their earlier lovemaking. Tears clogged her throat.

“No, no. Here we are again. Spell it out for me,” Jon said.

“Why are you acting like this? You’re the one who didn’t want me to go to Winterfell!” Daenerys said, her voice climbing to a near shout. Jon matched her in ferocity and volume, squaring off across the bed from her.

“I didn’t know my family was away! If I had, I would have taken you there first!” Daenerys blinked, confused.

“But--”

Jon sat on the edge of the bed with his back to her and raked a hand through his hair.

“Do you realize how fucking stupid I feel about this afternoon?” he said. Daenerys circled the bed to sit beside him. His expression was tortured.

“What if it wasn’t Arya at the door? I could have gotten you killed! You deserve a battalion of guards to keep you safe. If you don’t want a fuck-up for a bodyguard, I get it. If things are too intense and confusing and you’re looking for an easy out, I get it. But don’t ever think it’s because I don’t want you around. That never gonna happen. Get me?” Daenerys choked back a sob. One tear eked free, and Jon smoothed it away with his thumb. The tenderness of the gesture broke her heart.

“I trust you, Jon. I trust you. And I don’t want to go anywhere without you.” I love you. How she wished she was brave enough to say those words.

“We’ll go to Winterfell in the morning. Together,” she said, taking his hand and pressing kisses on the back.

“Together,” Jon said, drawing her close for a kiss.

Perhaps it was the thought of separation, or the fact that privacy would be scarce in Winterfell, but passion boiled quick and sweet. Sensation blurred. Mm, Jon’s dark, worshipful gaze, long, drinking kisses, undressing her as if she was something fragile and precious. She let her touch speak for her, writing words of love on his body. They moved together, a gentle, timeless eternity. Climax washed over her in deep spasms. Jon followed her soon after, panting her name against her neck. They drowsed in the tub together, fell asleep in each other’s arms.

A beam of sunlight woke her. She squinted at the aperture of the curtains, and the sun-dappled blur of greenery beyond. Behind her, Jon snuffled in his sleep. The arm draped around her twitched. Daenerys kissed him awake.

“Good morning,” she whispered. Jon cracked open one eye.

“‘Mornin,’” he rumbled.

“Go back to sleep. I’ll make tea.”

“M’kay,” he said, already drifting off.

She slid from bed, stretching. Gods, with Jon she slept better than she ever had. Braiding her hair and dressing in clean clothes made her feel ready to greet the day. The burner phone buzzed on the nightstand. She snagged it, creeping into the hallway so as not to disturb Jon. Good, she needed to talk to Vis.

“Hello, Daenerys.” The smooth voice was unfamiliar. Fear sang through her.

“Who is this?” she whispered.

“Where are my manners? My name is Ramsay Bolton. Now, you naughty girl, look at your boytoy.”

“What—Where--?”

“Look.” Daenerys looked at Jon, asleep in bed, a red laser dot floating on his forehead. Oh gods.

“Now listen very carefully.”          

[imagine-loki]

Caught in his web, Chapter 25

TITLE: Caught in his web CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 25 AUTHOR: fanficshiddles ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Loki is a crime lord, a very dangerous man in the city. He is owed money, but the man is unable to pay Loki back, so Loki takes his daughter as payment instead.  RATING: M

Chloe was a trembling, sweaty and panting mess as Loki collapsed down next to her, he was a bit of a mess himself after that exercise.

She could feel his seed inside of her, slowly trickling out and making a mess of his bedsheets.

‘You are far too delightful, doll.’ Loki purred, trailing his fingers lightly across her chest.

She trembled under his touch, making him smile as he moved closer and buried his face into her hair. Breathing in deeply, enjoying her scent.

Loki pulled her in tightly to him and was delighted when she didn’t try to pull away or leave, she just snuggled up against him with a content sigh.

‘I will be out most of today, some business to attend to. If you’re wanting to go out with friends, Ralph will be on call for you. Just ask Pete to call him.’ Loki said, stroking her arm.

‘Ok… Thank you. I was hoping to meet with them before going to college. And I need to get a couple of things, is that alright?’ Chloe tilted her head back to look at him, he smiled at her and nodded.

‘Of course. You’ve got the card, it’s yours to use.’

-

‘So, how’s things with your hot sugar daddy?’ Amanda grinned.

Chloe rolled her eyes. ‘He is not my sugar daddy. Don’t even go there, that’s just… eww!’

‘He’s hot. He lavishes you with gifts. He is rich as fuck. That’s sugar daddy material right there.’ Amanda laughed, so did Georgie.

Chloe shook her head and stabbed into her lunch. ‘He is not a sugar daddy.’

‘Well, how are things going with Loki?’ Georgie asked.

‘Umm. Good, I guess. As good as things can be when you’ve been kidnapped by the most dangerous man in the city.’ Chloe shrugged.

‘Come on, Chloe. This is no normal kidnapping, you’re out and about, right now. You’ve got a boat load of money to spend. Is it really that bad?’ Amanda said.

Chloe sighed and sat back on her chair. ‘No, it’s not… But that’s the problem. It should be. I’m hating myself right now because I feel like I’m falling further and further under his spell, and I don’t know what I should be doing. I’m fed up of fighting him, because truthfully? I am starting to like being with him… I just, I just feel like it’s wrong.’

Amanda and Georgie looked sorry for her. Amanda reached out and gave her arm a squeeze.

‘It must be difficult. But… he is looking after you, you have your freedom still. I guess the only bad thing is that you don’t stay with your parents anymore. But his house is better, isn’t it?’ Georgie asked, trying to help her see the best of it.

Chloe smiled at her friends, knowing they were only trying to help. And she loved them for it.

‘Yeah, I know… Look, he said I can invite you both round tonight for a girly night. If use fancy it?’

‘Really?’ Amanda asked.

‘Yeah. Honestly, I could do with getting drunk with you both and just… forgetting for a little while.’ Chloe said.

‘Well, count us in.’ Georgie and Amanda said at the same time.

Chloe asked Ralph to drive them to Georgie’s place and then Amanda’s so they could collect their things, then Ralph drove them to Loki’s.

‘Holy shit! This place is amazing!’ Georgie said when they walked inside.

‘Why thank you, Georgie. I’m very proud of my home.’ Loki said, startling the girls a little as they all turned around to see Loki walking out of the living room with a big smile.

‘Hi, Mr Laufeyson.’ Amanda said politely.

‘Please, just call me Loki.’ He said warmly.

‘Thanks for having us over, Loki. It’s been ages since we’ve had a good girls night.’ Georgie said.

Chloe was slightly amazed at how confident her friends seemed around Loki. But she was glad. Hoping it would help her out, too. Because she was still so damn conflicted a lot of the time.

‘There’s loads of snacks in the kitchen, alcohol too. So help yourselves. I’ve also set up the TV in the living room with an array of film options.’ Loki moved over to Chloe, cupped the back of her head and pulled her into him as he kissed her forehead. ‘Enjoy your night, girls. And you know where I am if you need me.’ He said to Chloe.

She blushed as he left them to it and went to his office. Amanda and Georgie looked at her with a look.

‘Don’t even go there.’ She hissed and pointed a finger at them.

Chloe was shocked at all the snacks Loki had gotten for them. And the film choices were every film in the world, including the new releases. She wasn’t even going to question how he managed to get good copies of them.

She enjoyed her night with her girlfriends. It was nice to just relax and have fun with them, to forget about everything else for a while and let loose with plenty of alcohol.

‘Come onnnnn, Chloe. My sex life has been dull for the last few years, so spill. He looks kinky, I bet he is into all kinds of kinky shit!’ Georgie giggled, sipping her drink.

Poor Chloe groaned and put her hands over her face.

‘Spill!’ Amanda joined in.

‘It’s… Not… I dunno. Can we just change the subject?’

‘You’re blushing! There’s something!’ Amanda screeched excitedly and jumped onto her friend. ‘Tell us!’

‘No, no, no.’ Chloe tried to push Amanda off while also trying not to spill her drink.

Eventually Chloe managed to change the subject away from Loki and his dominant, kinky side that she didn’t really want to share with her friends.

When they decided to call it a night, they all headed upstairs and were pretty drunk. Chloe gave Amanda and Georgie her bed while she took the large sofa in the corner.

But she’d forgotten one thing… Amanda was one hell of a snorer when she’d been drinking. Georgie had passed out straight away, but Chloe was struggling to get to sleep with what sounded like a pig coming from her bed.

She groaned in frustration and sat up, head in her hands. She sighed and then dragged herself off the sofa, with her blanket wrapped around her she quietly crept out of her room and down the hall. She couldn’t believe she was about to seek him out… But, well, here she was at his door now.

Taking a deep breath, she was about to knock but then decided against that in-case he was asleep. But would he want her to just enter? Would he be pissed off? Maybe she should just go back to her room, or downstairs to the living room, perhaps…

She was toying in her mind with what to do, she never heard Loki coming up behind her from down the hall. So when a hand landed on her shoulder, she let out a screech and turned around, eyes wide, but she relaxed when she saw it was Loki.

‘Sorry, doll. I didn’t mean to startle you.’ He eyed her up and down, wondering why she had a blanket wrapped around her. ‘What are you doing?’

‘I… I… couldn’t sleep. Amanda is snoring like a trooper. She always does when she’s been drinking. I was coming to see if I could… maybe… sleep with you… But then I thought you might be asleep, I didn’t want to disturb you. Then I wasn’t sure about bugging you, if you’d even want me tonight or not.’ She rambled quickly.

Loki grinned and reached out to hold her chin, he brushed his thumb against her cheek. ‘Why would I mind having you sleep with me?’

‘I… Don’t know.’ She breathed out heavily, then frowned. ‘What are you doing up at this time?’

‘I was working late on a conference call with an acquaintance in Australia. Time differences can be a pain in the ass.’ Loki put his hand to her back and opened his bedroom door, guiding her inside.

‘Do you have a lot of acquaintances all around the world?’ Chloe asked.

‘I do indeed. It can be both a blessing and a curse.’ Loki said as he started to undress.

Chloe got into his bed and got comfortable under the covers, leaving her blanket behind on the floor. She looked over and watched as he took off his tie.

‘Why?’

‘Well, it’s a blessing because it’s nice to travel, see different countries. And a curse because of nights like this, when I have to stay up late just to converse with someone.’ He looked over at her and flashed a toothy grin when he saw she was watching him somewhat intently. ‘Although, it was rather delightful to find you waiting at my bedroom door.’ He winked at her as he started undoing the buttons on his shirt.

‘Do you travel abroad often?’ Chloe asked, looking away from him, she lay down and tried to just look up at the roof.

‘Every few months or so. I have my own jet, so it’s easy enough to travel even just for shorter business trips if necessary.’ Loki said as he folded his clothes over the back of a chair and then got into bed next to her.

‘Of course you do.’ Chloe said louder than she had meant to.

‘What’s that suppose to mean?’ Loki asked as he suddenly came into her view, looming over her. His hair cascaded down, tickling her face.

‘I… I just mean that it should be expected you’d have your own jet. You seem to have everything else.’ She trailed off quietly.

Loki chuckled as he gathered her wrists into one hand and pinned them straight up above her as he leaned down and kissed her neck.

‘Mmm, I certainly do have everything.’ He chuckled against her lips.

[sleepywinchester]

Behind The Story S2 | Pt. 24

Summary: It’s time for Y/N to make some tough decisions. Will she make the right one for herself and her family?

Author: sleepywinchester (prev. deanwinchester-af)

Characters: Jensen, Reader, Jared, Gen and Cast Cameos.

Pairings: Single!Jensen x Actress!Reader (Nina Dobrev = Faceclaim)

Words: 2,295

Beta: N/A

Warnings: none really :)

Disclaimer: NO HATE TOWARDS DANNEEL! We wuv her in this acc but this is just for science lol

Visual Credit: @musemisha​

Note: MERRY CHRISTMAS AND SURPRISE! I’ve had this chapter in my docs for God knows how long... I kept telling myself I would upload when I felt it was ready (and the last chapters were done) but I just wanted to share. I really hope you guys like this.  ♥

Title: Though Decisions 

MASTERLIST

The air inside your hotel suite was chilly and pleasant.  Halsey’s songs filled your hotel suite as you packed everything into reusable boxes. Shooting season for Arrow was finally over and it was time to go back home for good. It was bittersweet to pack what you have been calling home for the past couple of months but you were more excited about going back to spending more time with your family. Working on two successful TV shows began to wear you off after a couple of months into shooting. It was a complete surprise when the part as Cat woman for CW’s superheroes universe was a total hit, making you stay extra months on the show. At the beginning when you took this gig, they only spoke about shooting for a couple of weeks, max a month but your character got so popular that the couple weeks turned into a couple of months.

The deep talk you had with Stephen a couple of months ago had left you thinking about your future. Months have passed but it still roamed through your mind. Being cat woman was a dream come true, being able to perform such a powerful and fun character was a milestone for your career but sometimes you asked yourself, is it all worth it?

Suddenly you heard the voice of your favorite man and all the weight from the worries drifted away. Jensen’s deep and beautiful voice sounded through the speaker. 

“Babe?” Jensen’s real-life voice. 

You spun at the sound of Jensen’s voice coming from the door. You’ve been waiting for Jensen all night to get here for SPN Convention in Toronto. You’ve also been waiting for him to help you move all your stuff back home in Austin.

“Jensen?!” You screamed giving in to the urge to jump on his arms. 

Jensen caught your body, holding your legs that were crossed around his body. He laughed loudly, taking a moment to kiss you. “Hey.”

“I’ve missed you so damn much,” you replied, still on his arms.

He looked down for a second. “I see,” he smirked.

You both chuckled before he put you down on your own feet. 

Jensen just had finished shooting week for Supernatural and took a flight to meet you in Toronto. When you just finished shooting for Arrow and was ready to move back home.

“Is everything already packed?” Jensen looked around as he took his jacket off. There was a surprise in his eyes and that made you chuckle. 

You shrugged shamelessly, “Yeah.”

“I thought I was going to help you,” he looked at you with an eyebrow perked up. 

“I know,” you grabbed his jacket, “but I got bored and… you know how I am.” You placed the jacket into the closet, where the only clothing items are three outfits that will last you through the convention weekend and moving day.

“In that case, whatcha’ think if we go down to SNS? Everyone is there, even Jared and Gen.” Jensen’s look and proposal were highly tempting, given the fact that you haven’t seen the gang or had fun in a long time. 

“You know what… Let’s go. Let’s have fun.” 

Jensen instantly hugged you and kissed you when you accepted. “That’s my girl.” Grabbing quickly his suitcase, murmuring that he was going to take a quick shower before. 

You smirked following his lead into the bathroom because you also needed a quick shower after so much packing. Once Jensen saw you walk into the bathroom he understood what it meant.

 He was shirtless, standing in front of the wide shower door, beginning to get wet from the shower, “I guess we can skip the first few songs.”

“I guess so,” you purred, kissing his lips with passion.

/ / / 

“Get your ass down here, ASAP!” Jensen shouted, “Says Rob and Jared.”

You chuckled walking into the living room, your husband turned his head towards your direction. Jensen’s jaw-dropping instantly the second he took a full look of you. 

“Damn,” he whispered to himself. “Babe-,” he said as he stood up from the couch. “You look-”

As he tried to speak his emotions you grabbed the leather jacket resting on the chair and put it on, making sure your hair was messy yet stylish at the same time. You were wearing a deep v neck black blouse and tight dark skinny jeans. Jensen sighed harshly, 

“smoking hot. Are those real leather?” He touched your thigh-high leather boots, pressing on your thighs and giving you a sexy look as he did so.

You smirked kissing his lips and saying, “Yes.”

“Mmm,” he licked his lips, “do we have to leave?”

“Yes! If we don’t appear now, I assure you, they will come looking for us.” You told him walking towards the door. 

“But you look so good!” He shouted following your steps into the elevator.

Once inside you grab him by the collar of his leather jacket. He was holding you closely and kissing your lips and neck. It was like you two were too horny teenagers that couldn’t stop touching each other. 

“Get a room you two!” Jared’s voice suddenly joined.

You and Jensen instantly groaned while still extremely close to each other. “Should I just hit the closing doors buttons?” Jensen asked you, completely ignoring Jared’s presence.

Looking at Jared standing in the middle of the doors you shake your head, shifting your eyes back to your favorite stud. 

“Na’, we said we were going to have fun,” you told Jensen.

“I have a lot of ways we could be having fun… Upstairs. In our bed. Naked.” Jensen replied. 

Listening to Jared’s annoyed sigh was extremely amusing. “Seriously guys?” He said. 

“What?” You and Jensen fake snapped at the same time.

“Everyone is waiting for you two horny assholes,” Jared replied. “Including Rob’s impatient ass.” 

Going back to Jensen you sighed, cleaning the red lipstick off his lips. “We can continue what we started later.”

“Promise?” He holds your hand. 

“Mhm,” you kissed his lips. 

“Oh my God,” Jared rolled his eyes and began walking towards the green room. 

You and Jensen laughed once again, it was truly amusing to see him annoyed at the extreme PDA you and Jensen were having. It’s been a while since you could annoy Jared. It’s also been a while since you’ve seen him. Walking into the green room, you and Jensen were greeted by everyone. They were all excited to finally see you after such a long time. 

“You look so hot!” Brianna said with excitement. 

You gave her a big smile, “You too, babe!” 

You two turned heads towards Jensen who cleared his throat. 

“You too, Jensen. You always look hot as fuck,” Brianna told him and he instantly laughed. “Honestly, you two look like rock stars. It’s so hot, I can’t stand it.”

“Yeah - These two look like horny rock stars. They were making out hard in the elevator.” Jared joined the conversation with Gen by his side. 

You winked at your best friend who looked gorgeous as always. 

“Let them be,” Gen said, “They haven’t seen each other in two weeks.”

“Exactly!” Jensen shouted, holding you closely by your waist. He looked at you in the eye, “Let us be.” Kissing you in the lips after finishing the sentence. 

“Where’s my husband?!” Brianna jokily shouted. 

“Home with your kid,” Kim joined. “So - switching this fuckery talk. What are you guys singing?” 

You rose both eyebrows, “Who said anything about singing?” 

Jensen slipped off your side and walked away for a second, leaving you alone with a glaring Kim. She raised her eyebrows at your response and shakes her head. 

“You’re telling me you both came downstairs to SNS and you are not performing?” Kim seriously glared at you and Jensen. “I call bull.”

You sighed, “Okay. I’ll sing but I need booze.” 

“I got you, babe,” Jensen he joined your side again with a cup of most likely to be whiskey and coke. “What song?” 

“Hmmm,” you thought for a second. 

You and Jensen were both wearing all black outfits with leather. It was obvious that both had highly flirtatious feelings that night. Yet above all that flirtatious sensations you both looked very badass and definitely like rock stars. 

“Wanted Dead or Alive?” You asked him with a smirk. 

Jensen returned the smirk, returning the look, “Let’s do it.” 

“Jensen you’re up! Whipping Post?” Rob strolled in from the stage.

“I’ll go first and then you join?” Jensen looked at you and you nodded as an answer. He kissed your cheek before walking out to the stage, making the fans went wild and scream. They were seriously not expecting him. 

“You guys look like two honeymooners,” Gen said.

You grinned, “I feel like a honeymooners. A lot of changes are going up and even though I feel bad for some of the decisions I’ve made, I know the future is going to be brighter.” 

Genevieve nodded agreeing with your words. “You’re doing it for your family and for yourself. I haven’t seen you this genuinely happy in a while.” 

“I haven’t seen myself this happy in a while,” you grinned again, having a sip of your whiskey. “It’s like everything is taking place since I decided to leave.” You looked around for a second, “Then at the same time, it feels bad that I won’t be part of this anymore.”

“What are you talking about?” Jared joined. “You are a big part of everything Supernatural is. You are still part of the cast of the Supernatural family, of our family. Your place in this family is never going to change. You are Y/N Ackles and that is never going to change.”

Jared’s words made you think that you may have been overreacting the consequences of your choices. He was right, it didn’t matter what happened or what decisions you made, you were still part of this family. 

“Thank you, guys.” You told them.

At that moment you heard Jensen finishing up Whipping Post. 

“Thanks, y’all,” he spoke through the mic, “I’m going to stick around and do one more…” 

You chuckled at the crowd screaming with excitement in response.

“I’m gonna ask to have some help from a friend  of mine…” Jensen said. “Honestly she’s more than a friend if you guys know what I mean.” At that moment everyone screamed even louder, it was obvious they were making assumptions it was you. “She’s the myth, the legend, Y/N Ackles everyone.” 

Jensen saying your name was a queue for you to walk out of the curtains with the microphone on hand. The camera flashes increased as your big smile did. You gave Rob a hug and waved at the band, followed by a kiss on Jensen’s lips and then glanced at the crowd. 

“Hey, y’all,” you spoke. 

The energy in that room was warming and filled with so much excitement. They were good vibes and you missed that. They were happy to have you that night and you were excited to be there with them. It’s been a long time since you attended an SNS concert. 

“Ain’t he a rockstar?” You pointed at Jensen smirking. 

At that moment the band began to play the intro of Wanted Dead or Alive.

“Can you feel it?!” Jensen shouted as he moved by the rhythm of the band. You and Jensen were doing the same movements and laughed at the moment you two realized it. 

“It's all the same, only the names will change

Every day, it seems we're wastin' away

Another place where the faces are so cold

I drive all night just to get back home,” Jensen looked at your eyes and winked.

“I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride. I'm wanted-,”

“Waaaanteeed,” you sang the melody. 

“Dead or alive…” Both of you sang together, “Wanted dead or alive”.

You prepped to sing the next verses.

“Sometimes I sleep, sometimes it's not for days

The people I meet always go their separate ways

Sometimes you tell the day

By the bottle that you drink

And times, when you're all alone all you do is think

I'm a cowgirl, on a steel horse I ride,” you moved your hips.

“I'm wanted (wanted) dead or alive

Wanted (wanted) dead or alive

Oh, and I ride

Oh, and I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride,” you and Jensen sang the chorus together.

“I'm wanted dead or alive

I walk these streets

A loaded six-string on my back

I play for keeps 'cause I might not make it back

I been everywhere, still, I'm standing tall

I've seen a million faces

And I've rocked them all,” Jensen sang the verses.

As he sang the verse you dance and backed him up with the melodies. It was one of those moments where you felt like a complete rockstar and sang your heart out in that stage. 

For the last chorus, you and Jensen stood face and sang.

“I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride

I'm wanted (wanted) dead or alive

I'm a cowboy, I got the night on my side

I'm wanted (wanted) dead or alive

And I ride, dead or alive

I still drive (I still drive) dead or alive

Dead or alive, dead or alive, dead or alive, dead or alive”

The feeling of ending a song was always electrifying. You much needed that after months of not performing in SNS. The song was over but the crowd wasn’t over, they were clapping and screaming. You laughed and smiled at them. 

“I’ve missed y’all,” you said, “see you guys tomorrow? Gold Panel?” 

You received more shouts and took that as a yes.

“Goodnight,” you said leaving the stage with Jensen. 

________________________________________________________________

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[buriedinbleach]

The Goddess in the Glen - Pt. 1

When I originally signed up for the Big Bang, I requested prompts for the story that is now Kensei’s long ass fic. I promised that whoever’s prompt I used, I would write a fic as a prize! This is that prize. Well, the first part anyway.

I ended up going to town on this and splitting it into two chapters. Smut in both, so pace yourselves, drink plenty of water. Apparently, no one makes me spawn multi-chapter fics quite like Shunsui. He’s just so hot. Can you blame me? 

Train anon asked: Shunsui said he had a script idea but Nanao is all like "I do not allow any movie with the rating of adults only". Write Shunsui’s porn.

For reference, that exchange takes place in episode 298.

-The Goddess in the Glen-

Shunsui had locked himself away in his study every night that week as soon as he returned home from the Eighth division. It was rare enough for Shunsui to set foot in that particular room once a month, let alone staying there  –  working furiously  –  night after night. It was baffling. You had tried to find out exactly what he was doing, but every time you asked he simply gave you a wry smile and said, ‘Its a secret, Petal.’

Dim, flickering light trickled out into the hallway underneath the door as you crept close and pressed your ear to the cold wood.

“You look lost. Perhaps I can help.” It was definitely Shunsui’s voice, but it sounded odd. Almost… feminine? Well, at least as feminine as Shunsui was capable of sounding with his deep timbre.

You were torn between utter confusion and trying to stifle your laugh as you called to him through the door. “Shun? Are you coming to bed?”

“I’ll be there in a minute, love.”

You cast one last suspicious glance at the door, listening to his quiet, indistinguishable murmurs before heading off to bed.

***

Two days later, you went looking for Shunsui as soon as you arrived home from the Thirteenth division. You couldn’t wait to tell him what ridiculous idea Kiyone and Sentaro had come up with as your division’s entry for the film festival. Poor Jushiro.

You were still laughing to yourself when you headed straight to his study, expecting to find him hard at work on his mystery project once again. But when you arrived, the door was open and the room was pitch black. He wasn’t even napping on the couch.

“Hmmm…” You shrugged, wracking your brain, trying to think of where he could be when it hits you. Smiling, you know there was only one place you need to look  –  its the one spot no one else ever bothers checking for him. You walk out to the gardens, warm spring air swirling lightly around you when you see Shunsui leaning against a sakura tree, staring off into the foreground at the expanse before him.

Shunsui gently swirls his cup of sake  –  distracted. His eyes never leave the fixed point he regards in the distance. He didn’t need to look directly at you to feel your presence, he knew your reiatsu well enough by now. Instead, he raises his arm as you smile and curl in beside him.

“Is something wrong, love?” You ask, nuzzling against him, placing your hand on his firm chest.

He sips the cup of sake slowly until the cool liquid is gone, his brow is contemplative, but you wait patiently for him to speak. “Nanao-chan won’t let the division use my script for our entry in the film festival.” Shunsui reaches for his bottle, pouring another cup of sake, offering you the first drink before carefully nursing it once more.

So that’s what he had been working so hard on. You smiled softly, kissing his cheek and nuzzling in closer. Suddenly, excerpts from ‘The Rose Colored Path’ began swirling through your mind. It became slightly harder for you to fault Nanao for turning his script down now. But, that was also an easy fix. A few simple edits and Shunsui could try again.

“Why don’t I look at it? Maybe I can help make a few suggestions and then we can try talking her into it? Let me see your script.”      

Shunsui sighed lightly, downing the last drops in his glass before pulling out a rolled bundle of papers from behind his back and passing them to you. He knew there wasn’t much use. There was nothing you could have said that would make Nanao change her mind now, but a part of him was now eager to see your reaction.

“Hmmm… ‘The Goddess in the Glen’.” You sat up a little straighter, flipping open the first page. It was a little bit of a cheezy title, but that was kind of to be expected given his usual standard. You couldn’t help but wonder what kind of sappy romance you were about to find. “Why did you say Nanao wouldn’t let you-”

Heat immediately began rushing to your face as you scanned through the pages, not bothering to read the script word for word. Your heart was racing, blood was coursing through your veins at a furious pace. All the while, Shunsui sat next to you looking as calm and casual as he always did.

“I believe her exact words were, ‘I will not be associated with any film rated ‘adults only’. But now I’m more curious what you think of it petal.” Shunsui smiled lazily, the heat of his stare only compounded the boiling fire roaring through your body.

“I-” you choked on your next words, trying to clear your throat, to make them come out but they were stuck. Taking a deep breath, you started over. “I had no idea you could write like this.” It was the first thing you could think to say. Truthfully, the script was good. Surprisingly good  –  and very hot. You couldn’t stop the flood of images that began racing through your mind. Your nails dragging through the dark hair on his chest; fingers groping his muscles and sinking into his shoulders; Shunsui’s lips against your neck; his callouses grazing your breasts-

Shunsui laughed, “What do you mean? You’ve read my column before!”

Your mind scrambled to free itself from your daydream, to cover your faux pas quickly. “Right! I just mean this is even better! But, I think I understand why Nanao wouldn’t allow you to make it. Even if she did, there’s no way Head Captain Yamamoto would allow it to be shown.”

“I’ll admit, you have a point there.” Shunsui conceded, relaxing back against the tree.

“But Shun, who exactly did you think you could talk into being the Goddess and this warrior she’s supposed to seduce?” Setting the script aside, you curled against him, bringing your hand to rest against his bare chest. You let your eyes drift closed, ready to slip into a lazy nap at Shunsui’s side where you could have all the time in the world with your fantasy  –  uninterrupted.

However, the way his fingers began inching up your leg underneath the hem of your Gotei kimono made you reevaluate those plans. For the better.

Shunsui turned, bringing his lips down to your neck, letting his deep voice sink into your skin and down to your very bones. “You and me, petal.” The sinful way his lips parted to lick and suck his way over your neck nearly blocked out his words, you would have agreed to almost anything if he would just keep going.

Almost.

“Wait, what?” You place your hands on either side of his face and reluctantly pull him away.

Shunsui leaned back against the tree, but his hand resumed its pace  –  inching up your thigh. “Well it doesn’t matter now.” As his hand moved higher, your heart began pounding with excitement, an interesting idea crept into your mind.

You sat for a moment, mulling over your choice, pulse now thundering in you ears. “Love?”

“Mmmm?” Shunsui acknowledged. His lips pressed against your neck again, this time moving lower. The vibration of his hum rattled straight to your core.

“Maybewecouldmakeit?” You blurted the words quickly while you could still get them out. You knew Shunsui heard  –  and understood  –  when his fingers paused just inches from his goal at your breast.

His eyes met yours while your face blazed with the heat of embarrassment. Shunsui’s pupils looked like deep pools and you were about to be swallowed by their depths. You were anxious to look away, but couldn’t bring yourself to pull your eyes from his sinful stare. While he had you awestruck and trapped, Shunsui wrapped an arm around your waist and maneuvered you to lay beneath him on the soft, cool grass. You cast a quick, sly glance around the garden, cautious of prying eyes, only to find the estate was silent. Shunsui’s private area of the gardens was completely undisturbed by anyone but the two of you.

The tickling stubble of his beard against the center of your chest pulls your focus back to him. His callouses graze over the swell of your breast, opening the collar of your kimono, softly kissing the newly revealed skin. “Maa… really? Its not even my birthday.” Shunsui resumed his present course - kissing his way to your nipple. But this time, he was watching you, hypnotizing your mind with his erotic, dark stare.

“Y-Yeah-ah!” You inhaled a sharp, gasping breath when Shunsui’s teeth grazed the sensitive bud. Winding your fingers through his hair, you held him against your body, arching up to meet his face. Shunsui worked to keep you at ease, nearly breathless; he wanted to hear every pleasure-fogged, uncensored thought crossing your mind; he needed to taste every whimpering moan that skipped past your lips.

“I mean, we  –  hhnn  –  w-would just keep it to-oh! Yessss,” you hissed. Shunsui’s finger drifted up and down your slit over your underwear, pressing lightly to test the fabrics resistance. He watches your face sharply. Though his smokey eyes seem hazy with lust, he catalogues every motion as you lick and purse your lips, memorizing the sound of your gasping breath. “For our  –  mmm  –  eyes only.”

Shunsui pulls your underwear aside, sinking a finger slowly into your heat; his lips covering yours, drinking down your moans. “Of course, Petal. Now that I think about it, I wouldn’t really want anyone else hearing the beautiful sounds you make, just for me.”

He kisses your neck - licking and sucking just enough to lightly color and mark your skin. Once you’re lost in a haze, he slips another finger in to join the first, turning and curling his digits to brush your sweet spot again and again. “Hhnn  –  you’ll have to-” you hissed with pleasure, feeling warmth creeping over your body, “learn your lines. Yes! Shunsui! Mmm, right there!” Shunsui presses his lips to your neck, kissing as your pulse throbs and cries of his name are ripped from your throat; your release floods your muscles like the waves of a tsunami.

As your eyelids flutter, bringing you back into the present, Shunsui kisses your lips  –  long and slow. He settles between your legs, his kimono open and hanging loose around him. Shunsui frees himself from his hakama, never once pulling his lips from yours.

Your leg wraps around his bare hip, urging him closer. He smiles against your mouth before kissing along your jaw. As his lips trail over your jawline, Shunsui’s hand  –  calloused, wide, strong  –  smoothes over your leg. He starts at your ankle, dragging up your calf, caressing your thigh until he holds your leg against his hip. The hot head of his cock presses against your entrance, just lightly parting your folds, making you hiss and shiver with anticipation. Shunsui slowly pulls your leg up his hip as he inches forward into your heat  –  claiming and filling.    

Cool silk kissed the back of your hands, juxtaposing pleasantly with the warm, bare muscles of his back underneath your fingertips sliding underneath his kimono. “Are we really supposed to  –  mmm, Shunsui  –  to a-act through…”

A light breeze drifted through the garden, but neither of you felt a thing. Shunsui covered your body completely with his own, stoking a fire that promised to burn you from the inside out with each surge of his hips. He loved hearing your breathy voice climb higher as you desperately try to keep yourself together just long enough before he rolled against your clit again and you were lost.

“I don’t think either of us will be acting. I can’t keep my hands off of you.” His voice is like liquid honey trickling down your muscles  –  warm and satisfying  –  it only feeds the consuming heat stretching and filling your core. Shunsui pulls his hips back lazily, wanting to be sure you felt every ridge of his cock. He kisses away your hitched gasps and thrusts forward, burying himself again.

He was right, there was absolutely no need to act. Shunsui knew how to work every pleasure point on your body, how to turn you into liquid in seconds. But could you make his movie? Shunsui pulls your leg up, just an inch, but it leaves you dizzy and gripping his shoulders for more. Gods how you wanted more. Even if it meant filming a highly explicit home movie. Hell, the more explicit the better. You were aching to make it now.

One more precise tilt of your hips combined with Shunsui driving into your heat, rolling against your clit when he bottomed out was your undoing. Flames of pure ecstasy blazed out of control, licking and kissing your nerves. You wind the fingers of one hand through his thick waves, pulling him into a kiss.

Shunsui holds your hips tighter, thrusting harder  –  deeper  –  allowing the constricting, steady clenching of your core around his shaft to drive him higher. He chases his release right along with yours, managing to work you through one last, weaker orgasm before filling you with a satisfying warmth unique to Shunsui.

While you lay together recovering, his favorite floral kimono wrapped around your body in place of your own disheveled one, Shunsui huffed out a laugh and you giggled like a naughty child. The two of you were going to go for it. You would make his movie and keep it safely hidden away to be watched together whenever the mood strikes. Or when one of you was on a mission...

The sun was beginning to go down as you curled underneath his long arm and the two of you walked back inside. When you make your way into the bedroom, Shunsui walks silently behind you and stops to kiss your neck. You dreamily stroke his cheek, encouraging him to continue. “Shun, just one thing. How is this going to be filmed? I don’t want – “

“Relax, love.” That sinfully warm velvet voice of his poured into your ear as he stepped around to face you. Shunsui moved the collar of your borrowed kimono out of his way and kissed the skin before speaking. “I’m sure Kisuke could make something that didn’t require an operator.”

You froze. Your entire body went stone still until you narrowed your eyes in suspicion, pulling Shunsui’s eyes up to meet yours. He looked positively clueless as to your reaction. Clueless and gorgeous, but seemingly very aware of the warning edge to your voice.

“Kisuke Urahara better not get his hands on a copy of this.”

[too-far-yet]

-The Stuffed Royalty-

Gunther is the son of a majorly revered government official -- Malleena. Her status has put pressure on Gunther since the moment he was born. In fact, Malleena wanted him to don her title of Grand Executioner when she retired. This would not be so simple.

Mainly because he's a nineteen year old that lacks dexterity and focus. He is lazy, irreverent, rude, and can be described as many other things of that sort. Attempts have been made to train him to fight and be more proper since he was seven years old. And yet he doesn't change, as if something holds him back. Today made all of this even more clear.

He was poutily trudging to his bedroom, before softly closing the lavish door and approaching his bed. His bedsheets are rather stained and unkempt because of his own laziness. All he wanted to do was eat some shrimp in buttery noodles with some frothy beer to drink. It had been a long day he felt he deserved it. That is, until his mother's voice rang in his mind. "And again, you fail me. I had such low expectations for you this time. They were coordinated utterly fairly in order to see to it you could reach them," her near-exact words pierced him.

He was now laying in his bed and staring longingly out the window. Why couldn't he choose his own path, instead of being an executioner? Cooking always sounded like a good choice for him. Or bartending. Before he could melt any further into these hypothetical careers, a soft knock at his door made him jolt up. "Yeah?" he called awkwardly, feeling himself spike with anxiety of the potential pain a social interaction could bring for him right now. 

"It's Kala," the deep voice replied in a muffle from behind the door, bringing a wave of relief to Gunther that steadied his breathing.

"Come in," Gunther suggested, leaning against his headboard and sitting up. The door swung open to reveal his tan and tired looking friend. 

"As your bodyguard," Kala bashfully prefaced, "I thought you might need some food." Kala then slowly walked over to the bed, holding a towering plate of perfectly-textured noodles, oily vegetables, and salty seafood delicacies. Besides all of the food, there was an iced glass of whiskey, near the glass bottle that had about half remaining.

Gunther was staring stupidly at the ensemble of delicious food items before bringing his grateful gaze to meet Kala's stoney one. "Thanks, Kala," was all Gunther said, but the softness of his words still teased at Kala's heart.

"The broccoli may be too greasy. I am sorry," Kala meekly added as he handed off the tray of food plates and silverware.

Instead of complaining, Gunther grinned at Kala only to admit, "Hey, I like the vegetables to be really greasy."

And with that, Kala began to walk away. But he so wished to be able to be there with Gunther while he ate.

***

Later that night, Gunther came waddling out of his room into the castle hallway, wielding an empty tray. His breathing was uneven and hindered by his stuffed and swollen belly. Begrudgingly he continued to move towards the kitchen at the end of the hall. As he grew nearer, voices became audible in the kitchen.

Someone made the food meant for the feast tonight," one chef exclaimed furiously, digging through the contents of the kitchen cabinets and freezer room. 

This information made Gunther's eyes widen and heart beat a bit with guilt. He would've turned to leave if he hadn't heard the following voice.

"Yes, that was… me," the voice that could only be Kala's shamefully mumbled.

"Who are you --OURP! Who are you kidding? That was me!" Gunther yelled, pouncing into the kitchen and between the chefs.

One of the maids nearby rolled her eyes. This behavior wouldn't necessarily be unheard of for Gunther, so she believed it. "It is the son of Mallena, Sir Gunther." 

"That's… right…" Gunther breathed, squirming a bit to try and not hurt his aching stomach anymore. It groaned and gurgled as he writhed in place.

Kala looked over to Gunther with a look of appreciation in his eyes. Although the rest of his face remained completely unmoved; Kala had a bit of an eternal scowl going on. Their romantic stare didn't stay for long, though, as Gunther quickly brought a fist to his mouth to stifle a short, wet belch. It sounded like it hurt him a bit to release.

"Well, we can't do anything to him," the chef who'd originally uncovered the predicament acknowledged. 

"ooURP! Guess ya can't!" Gunther said with a smug expression, and humorously prideful tone. He dropped his dishes off at the counter, and started his journey back to his bedroom. Soon after, Kala strode to his side, and put a warm hand on Gunther's shoulder to alert him of his presence. "*Hic*... Kala?" he cutely hiccuped, doing his best not to burp in Kala's direction. 

"Mhm, prince, let's get you to your bed," Kala said lowly in a matter-of-fact way. He then used his other hand to peacefully rub Gunther's upset tummy, his hand making contact with the risen flesh under Gunther's shirt. But doing this immediately coaxed a large, unholy belch from Gunther.

"Did you call me -URP!" Gunther tried to say before unleashing a loud but quick burp. Kala's face grew warm with embarrassment. 

He did not answer the question. Instead he dodged it by conveniently announcing, "We're here." And inside they went. Kala ushered the slightly drunken and definitely sickly man to his bed, laying him down gently.

"Kalaaaa…" Gunther whined babyishly, rolling around on his stomach as it sizzled with the threat of oncoming gas.

"Mmm?" Kala wordlessly responded.

"You… you protect me, so I protected you," he laughed immaturely, before letting out a low growling burp. Kala felt annoyed as much as he did in love, but he simply patted Gunther on the stomach and rolled his palm around his belly button. He didn't protect me from anything. I chose to endanger myself to please him, and conveniently, he appeared. I would have been fine, Kala thought coldly, feeling that the sentiment was shallow.

"Oh no," Gunther heaved before holding his breath. Burbles of liquid and sloshing stomach acid were audible. Suddenly, he let out a rippling fart that seemed to paint the air. It lasted a good four seconds before he exhaled in pleasure, and he added a small burp for good measure. He then closed his eyes and turned himself to face the window. He would sleep this way, while his guardian watched over his body.

[ill-skillsgard]

Dirty Demons, Part 4 - Axel Cluney/Zeitgeist

Title: Dirty Demons

Description: It's nice to have a companion on the road to total self-destruction - a continuation of Sweet Demons

Warning: 18+ for sex/language/violence/drugs/kinks of all sorts etc.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

A sharp gasp left my throat when I felt the pad of Axel's thumb press against the opening that he wasn't already stuffing his cock into. He had woken me up ten minutes earlier with two fingers on my clit and his lips at my neck, whispering for me to wake up because he wanted to play. In my tired state, I rolled away from him but he pulled me back and slipped his middle finger inside of me, jolting the sleepiness right out of me. "Axe," I grumbled. "Angel," he mirrored my tone. "What are you doing?" "I need inside of you. Please?" I only replied with another grumble so he pressed his hardness against me and seethed like a salted wound, purring against my neck in that nymphomaniacal way that I was slowly beginning to accept as an integral part of what made Axel, Axel. "Is this how I'm going to wake up every morning? With your cock and fingers halfway inside of me?" "Please, Momma. Your little boy is so hard for you. Been thinking about that pussy since the moment I woke up. Mmm, want inside so bad." "Oh my god," I whispered, feeling the desirous effect of his words prickling all over my body. "Yeah?" He undulated his finger inside of me strategically until I had no choice but to part my legs. "Oh, I can feel just how wet Mommy's sweet pussy is for me. It's getting all over my fingers. So fucking creamy and warm." "Axel," I groaned again. "Get on me, baby. Ride my fucking cock. I've been a good boy. Please?" "I don't think you've been very good at all," I pointed out, chuckling softly as my eyes adjusted to the sunlight coming through the water-spotted windows. "Mm-hmm. Okay, yeah, I've been real bad. Really, really bad. I think you should punish me. Make me hurt," his whispers in my ear grew desperate and I couldn't deny that every indecent word that left his mouth served to arouse me more. I don't know what it was about him that got off so much on being objectified, but once he had me climbing on top of him to ride his cock, I could see the pleasure already burning deep inside of him. His laggard eyes lit up when I mounted him and he rose up on his elbows as he bucked his hips upward, causing me to teeter for a moment until I stilled myself with my palms on his tattooed chest. Axel gripped my right wrist and replaced my hand from his pectoral muscle to his throat. "Come on, Mommy. Fuck me up. Fucking choke me out while you work my nasty cock. Please... I deserve it." The more Axel begged, the more inclined I was to give him what he wanted. It delighted me that he could go from King Asshole to needing to be reduced to nothing but a pole for me to bounce on. I almost forgot how deep and never-ending his sexual appetite was and the days he wanted to feel small and humiliated were nearly equal to the ones that he wanted to feel powerful and dominating. I loved that about him. On the surface, he looked a one-dimensional character to most, but I knew better. Axel had many facets to him, some unpolished and rougher than others but those were the sides that I liked to uncover. There was a soft ore inside of him that nobody else was able to unearth; a nugget of vulnerability that spoke of a need to be loved, accepted and guided. Axel was more than just a danger, more than a simple outlaw. He was also a boy that had slipped through the fingers of society and missed the opportunity to be cherished and nurtured. I think that's why I adored him so. Despite his coarseness, he was only a human reaching out for acceptance. But he was also perverted and completely insatiable when it came to his sexual desires and when he tried to prod me from behind I gasped and turned back to see that evil smirk adorning his face. He snatched his hand away as though he had just been caught stealing cookies and instigated my reaction by smiling precariously. "What? Mommy doesn't like when I touch her pretty little asshole?" "Keep your dirty boy hands where I can see them," I growled. Axel sat up and pulled air through his teeth as his arms wrapped around me,  hands cupping and squeezing my breasts. "Let me. Please, Mommy? Wanna touch. Wanna fill every fucking hole you have." His hand then wrapped neatly around my throat, regaining his dominance as he continued to fuck me from behind. "God, I want to fuck that ass," he flared, breath hot on my shoulder. "You're bad," I breathed. He rocked his hips up harshly for a few strokes. "I know. I know I'm bad. I'm so. Fucking. Disgusting." I fell forward onto my hands and made him watch as his wet cock pulled out of me. Crawling away, I let him watch me from behind and when I got up to stand at the edge of the bed, I could see the look of pure lust and wonderment on his face. "What are you gonna do to me, Momma?" He begged my answer. "Come here, naughty boy," I pointed at the edge of the bed until he got up and crawled toward it. Even as he knelt in front of me on the bed, we were at equal height and it was difficult to conjure up the confidence it took to degrade him when he could so easily pin me down and do what he wanted with me. With a lick of his lips, he shimmied as close to the edge as possible, nipped at my bottom lip and snaked his arms around me to constrict me from going anywhere. His strength was unbeatable and when he pried and tried to spread me apart again I tried to push away from him, earning a low growl from the inside of him that sounded like a kettle just beginning to boil. Sometimes I forgot what he was capable of doing and at that moment, I forgot about fucking him and let the memories of a past Axel surface. Even as he kissed me, I felt the distraction pull me out of the moment. He had come close to killing Braun when we had first met, back when I had no idea the affliction that laid dormant inside of him. I couldn't help but think that at any moment, he could do the same to me. "Fine, fine," he murmured when my hips retracted. "I'll stay away for now. But, one day." "One day?" "I'm going to need an all-access pass," he wiggled his eyebrows. With a light slap on the chest, I attempted to dash his hopes of ever being able to penetrate me anally. He giggled mischievously and resumed kissing me, forgetting about his request in favour of dropping his attention to my tits which he scooped up and fondled before closing his lips around one nipple and then the other. His cock still hung between us and I could feel the precum dabbing me when I came up close. Axel pulled his lips from my nipple and stared down at his neglection. When he sat back again, his hand travelled down to encircle his shaft, giving himself a few pumps to restore himself to full solidity. In the morning light, his pale body looked appetizing and I couldn't withhold my hunger. We gorged ourselves on each other, kissing, licking, biting and moaning as we took turns wrestling for dominance. Axel made me slap him across the face a few times and each blow that landed, I felt his dick twitch inside of me and revelled in the purrs that escaped his mouth. But neither of us were destined to reach a climax that morning. The hour that we spent fucking each other ruthlessly was wasted after Axel started taking me from behind again. As he pulled back to spank me, I winced in anticipation of the clout that never came. "What the fuck! Hey!" He yelled. He pulled out of me abruptly and stomped over to the window, ducking down to peer through it while covering himself with one hand. The trailer swayed with the motion and I was left confused for a moment until I realized what had torn Axel's attention away. "What? What's wrong?" I asked. "Some motherfucker was out there in the bushes!" I scrambled to cover myself with the wool blanket that had eschewed itself from the corners of the bed. Axel's severe gait made the entire trailer rock back and forth as he rushed out, fully naked and uncaring in preparation to catch whoever had been trying to get himself a free show but by the time Axel made it outside, the peeper had taken off running. I didn't witness a second of what had happened but I felt the sickly rush of embarrassment nonetheless. All I could see from the glass slats of the trailer window was Axel and his bare ass yelling after the person he had claimed had just been poking in from the overgrown bushes that fenced in the tiny mobile home. My underwear was nowhere to be found so I had to wiggle into my jeans, throw on my top with no bra on and follow outside to cull Axel back indoors before the residents of the park saw him cursing and screaming with no clothes on. The last thing we needed was for the cops to be called on us for disturbing the peace and squatting in an unused trailer in the middle of a country town nobody had ever heard of. "Axel! Get inside!" I hissed. He pointed down the winding dirt road and laughed. "Son of a bitch took off that way." "Did you get a good look at him?" "No, but I bet the cocksucker got a good look at us. You hear me, motherfucker!?" Axel bellowed. "I'll cut your fucking dick off!" "Shut up!" I pulled at his elbow. Axel reefed his arm away from me and turned to go back inside on his own accord. Fuming and still impervious about his nudity, he inspected our bikes to make sure nothing had been tampered with.  I looked around to see if anyone's attention had been roused and saw an old man peering from the screen door of a neighbouring trailer. When we made eye contact, he quickly withdrew back into his own quarters, probably in fear of lassoing the anger of the tall, tattooed menace storming around butt-naked. "Axe, get the fuck inside and put some clothes on, goddamnit. There are people around!" "I don't give a fuck!" Axel threw his arms up in the air, forgetting about shielding his crotch in favour of proving a point. Twinging with mutual embarrassment since Axel apparently had none to show, I pushed him to the door until he gave up and went back inside, allowing the screen door to slam shut behind him. I remained outside covering my mouth with my hand to stop myself from laughing until he returned with pants on. "Swear to God if I ever see that sorry son of a bitch again I'll wreck his fucking face," his volume had lowered but the bite behind his words remained. "What did you expect? The whole park probably heard us rocking in there. Of course, some hick motherfuckers are going to come to investigate." Axel tried not to let his smile become apparent but when he looked at me and saw that I was playfully blase about the situation, he relaxed and let out a chuckle. "Yeah, you probably like the attention, don'tcha? Little perve," he reached out to tickle my ribs. "So what do we do now?" I watched Axel put his hands on his jutting hips, survey the surrounding area and then let his eyes fall back to me. "I'm fucking starving and I haven't busted a nut yet. You and I have to take care of that. Preferably not in that order." "Wow. At your service, I guess, your majesty," I scoffed. He delighted in hearing me refer to him like royalty and chased me back inside the trailer to finish where we had left off. ~*~ There was no water in the little ramshackle trailer that Greg had allowed us to spend the night in. Axel inspected the closet-sized bathroom and quickly deduced that even if there was running water, he would have to bend so far at the knees to fit inside that he would still get sprayed directly in the face by the rusty shower-head. Not to mention the toilet that stood two feet away looked like it had received a decade's worth of bowel movements without ever having seen the bristles of a scrub brush. When I peered in and saw Axel with his head tilted to the side to accommodate his height, I giggled and suggested we look elsewhere for somewhere to clean up. Luckily there was a pool and showers located in the centre of Lovesick Park that we made use of. I opted to shower alone so I could actually get cleaned up instead of having to constantly fight off Axel's wandering hands. We both emerged with damp hair and the same clothes on that we had been wearing for the last few days. I sniffed at my armpits and scowled when I was hit with the same odour that had been following me since he had lovingly broken into my room at the Four Thousand's clubhouse. "We really need to find a laundromat or something," I motioned to the perpetual pit-stains of my shirt. Axel gazed down at his own shirt and shrugged. "I'm good." "Your shirt might as well be an apron," I rolled my eyes. "The less material, the less surface area to get dirty." Lovesick Park was more alive during the day and we were able to get a better sense of the place in the daylight. Just down the dirt road from the pool was the pavilion where we had met Greg. The smell of hot grease made our stomachs growl so we ordered enough food to fill us up for the day as we couldn't be sure when the next time food would be made available to us. "What do you suggest we do now? So far I've only seen families, kids and retirees. No sign of your mom. Then again, even if I did see her, I probably wouldn't know it since I haven't even seen a picture of her." There was one photo that I had in my phone of my mother. Rather, it was a photo of a photo that had been on the mantle at home. I snapped a shot of it before stashing the picture frame away in one of the many boxes of my father's things that I didn't want to see anymore. I grudgingly took out my phone and showed Axel the picture. He took the phone from me so he could squint at the photo. A smile unfurled over his smug face and he passed the phone back to me. "That's a fucking picture of you, idiot." "Nope. That's my mom." "Let me see that again!" He snatched the phone back and took a second look. "That looks exactly like you! Okay... I can see the eighties hair is a little different but... Shit." I scoffed at him through a mouthful of food. "So just look for a woman that looks like me." "I think I found me a new mommy," Axel wiggled his eyebrows. "Good. Maybe when we find her you can stay. She has a habit of jumping from guy to guy. I'm sure she would love the idea of taking her own daughter's man." "Pft!" Axel spit. "You think it's going to be that easy to get rid of me? We're getting married." "No, we're not. Marriage is fucking stupid and so are you." "You just stole the opening line of my vows," he nudged my foot under the wooden picnic bench. Try as I might bite back my smile, the way he stared at me knowingly was enough to break down my barriers. I wondered how many more times he would allow me to turn him down before he went crazy. The man sitting adjacent to me was less the man of my dreams and more like a nightmare come to life but I had never felt so vitalized before in my life with him there. if I was being honest with myself, I liked to say no to him only because I never wanted to stop hearing him ask. We scarfed down our food and decided to walk the perimeter of the park to see if we could turn up anything. From the outside, Lovesick Park looked small and self-contained but as we wandered further and further into the depths, we noticed that a good portion of the park was shrouded in a forest. We came upon a small walking bridge made of rickety wood slats that arced over a shallow stream that birds used to bathe in. The stream ran east around a bend, picking up speed and volume as it was joined by other streams until it rushed all at once into a river. There were a few fisherman wading into the water with their olive green boots and rods held up out of the water. Only a few of them pried their eyes away from their leisure to scope the two uncustomary strangers observing them. Axel nodded casually at them as he grasped my hand and pulled me in the direction of a veering trail that opened up to a meadow of long grass. "I think we've gone too far," I pointed out as a crowd of sparrows burst out of a shrub and took to the sky. "Nah, there's still a trail. Let's see where it goes," Axel insisted. The trail narrowed and weaved back into the forest and came out the other side at the opposite end of the park. When I saw more rows of trailers, I kept my eyes open for any sign that could even hint at the whereabouts of my mother. After a couple hours of walking around, everything started to bleed together and each trailer looked the same as the last. Some were closed off, boarded up and locked and others had been well-maintained throughout the years. We neared the end of another road and I was starting to grow weary of searching for seemingly nothing at all. "This is fucking ridiculous. I'm never going to find this bitch," I mumbled. Axel nodded toward something behind me and when I whirled around I saw what he was drawing my attention to. There was a powder blue trailer affixed to a wide deck that was devoid of any lawn furniture and beside it was a small carport housing a couple of old motorcycles. "Think that guy might have any ideas?" Axel asked. "It's a stretch but... I guess it's worth a try." My hesitation was noted by Axel so he rested his flattened palm against my back and gave me a gentle push up the steps toward the door of the trailer. It looked like the door had been cracked open with a crowbar a couple of times but I knocked anyway, stepping way back to allow room for it to swing open. We stood patiently for a minute before Axel shrugged and knocked again for me. "I guess no one's home," I concluded. Axel pointed at the rustling window covers. "Nope. Someone's in there. Maybe they just don't wanna come out to play." I elbowed him to shut up when the door finally opened a crack. A strong smell of cigarettes poured out of the inch-wide opening and I could hardly see the person standing at the door. "What do you want?" A man's gruff voice asked us. I swallowed, breathed in deeply and prepared myself to recite the same speech to the man that I had been repeating for the last few weeks. Every time I posed the question, it sounded more and more pathetic and I swore, as the words left my mouth, it would be the last time I would ask somebody to point me in the direction of my mother. If this was the last breadcrumb of the trail then I would turn around and head back to the port and my father's garage where I belonged. "I'm looking for Darlene Lockley. She's my mom. She looks like me... Rides a motorcycle." "Uh-huh," he grumbled before erupting into a coughing fit. "Um... I was pointed in this direction by the President of the D4T." "I look like a biker to ya?" "Well... I figured I would ask because I saw the bikes in your port." "We're not going to bite there, compadre. You can open up the door," Axel remarked. "Shut up," I hissed, driving my elbow into his side again. "Don't much like your attitude, son. Don't much like the way you two be lookin' either. I smell trouble comin' off ya." "Please! Just ignore him. I'm only looking for my mom. I don't want anything else. It's just... I've been riding a long, long time looking for her and Roy said that she was last seen here." "Roy?" "The President... Of the Dirty Four Thousand Motorcycle Club." "I don't associate with outlaw clubs." "Neither do we! We're not even from a club," I claimed. "You got patches though," he pointed out, choosing to remain hidden behind the door of his trailer. "They're really just for show... I'm from the Port. My dad was a founder of the Sweet Demons." The man let out a dry snort from his nose and cigarette smoke leaked from the crack of the door and caused my eyes to dry out. "More outlaws." "The Demons haven't been associated with crime for a long time," I explained. "Come on, man! Either you've seen her or you haven't. Why do you have to dick us around?" "Axel shut the fuck up!" The door opened with a leaden whine and the smell of smoke mixed with the odor of a man that looked like he hadn't bathed in ages. Swollen, red and purple feet were shoved into stained slippers and if his toenails were anything like his fingernails, they would have been thick as callouses and so yellow they were almost brown. The man had a severe beer gut that looked like he was smuggling a globe beneath his oil-stained t-shirt. He had a crown of scraggly brown hair that wrapped around his pate and a bushy beard that acted as an ash-catcher for his cigarettes. Axel took a step back and covered the lower half of his face in the crook of his arm. "If you want information about Dar-Dar, you're gonna to have to do me a favour first. So I know I can trust ya." "Christ Almighty," Axel muffled his disgust. "You know her?" I asked, disregarding Axel's reaction though I was feeling similarly the longer the stale air of the man's trailer seeped out. "I know of her. Spicy little rocket, kinda like you only... Meaner." "Sounds like her," I said with distaste. "You're going to have to go out and buy me a carton of smokes. And groceries." Axel scoffed loudly, "does it look like we have money to burn?" "I'll give you the dough but you have to make the run. The girl stays here." We both grimaced at each other until I relented with a heavy sigh. "Just go, Axe." "She'll be fine. I'm harmless. Can't do much anyway what with my diabetes." Axel threw up his hands. "Well, you're going to have to write me a list there, chief! I don't know what kind of food you eat! Cheese puffs? Fruit loops? Fuck." The man cracked his first smirk at Axel's frustration. "I'll get ya a list. Wait here." The trailer door shut and as soon as the man waddled away from the entrance Axel turned to me with a look of concern heavy on his brow. "I don't really want to leave you here with this stinky motherfucker! Do you really need to find your mom that bad? I don't know where the nearest fucking store is. What if he... I don't know... Tries to touch you or something?" I found his apprehension to be oddly charming and I traced a finger down his chest. "Aw, you're afraid! Axel... I've never seen you scared before." "I'm not fucking scared. We just don't know this guy. We have to be careful." "Don't worry about it. The guy can hardly breathe, let alone walk. What makes you think I can't hold my own against him?" Axel bit his lip for a moment. "When we get home... We're getting you a gun." Laughter burst forth from my throat as the trailer door opened again, revealing our new diabetic friend that had promised us the answers I had been searching for. He held out a piece of note paper and Axel snatched it to scan the list after thoroughly rolling his eyes and making his disdain obvious. "Milk, pop tarts, waffles, pancake mix, eggs... Backin?" "Bacon. Maple if they got it," he waved a few twenty dollar bills for Axel to take. "And a carton of Paul Slims." "You sure you want all this? How about some vegetables? You look like you could use a salad." "Let me fucking die in peace, will ya? Go get that stuff for me and then I'll tell ya what I know." Before Axel turned to leave he had one more question to pose. "Suppose we hadn't shown up? Who would you have to go get these things for you?" "I'd just call a delivery service. You can get anything delivered nowadays." He tapped his head and pointed at the man standing above us on the step of his trailer. "Good thinking, compadre. I guess I'll be back soon." "Take your time." "Yeah, yeah. Don't get any funny ideas about my lady here. I'm trusting you with her." "I'll be fine, Axe. Just go. Come back quick." I watched as he turned on the heel of his boot to start off in the direction of the smaller trailer we had spent the night in. Axel looked back once, shook his head and continued on. I smiled at him until I turned back around and saw that the door was being held open for me. "Oh... I'm fine out here," I quickly excused. He grunted in disagreement and pushed the screen door open further. The look of the inside of his trailer more than matched his overall appearance and that's what I was afraid of. The smell was so strong that I could feel the back of my throat start to water. It was a nauseating scent of decay and filth and when I figured he wouldn't be taking no for an answer, I held my breath and ducked inside. There was a lamp on casting a dull bit of light in an otherwise murky trailer that hadn't known the care of a mop or a duster in a long time. The state of the place made me miss the rickety little trailer that we had stayed in. The stench of cigarettes was embedded into every fiber of every piece of furniture that he had and the walls appeared to be dripping with dark brown nicotine stains. On the wall, there was a framed picture of Elvis that had washed out so much it became only a sepia outline of the King crooning on stage in Las Vegas. "You must be Angel then," he said after he had settled into a reclining chair pocked with cigarette burns. "So you know a lot about my parents?" "Hard not to notice a woman pulling in on a bike the size of hers." I chewed my cheek as I stood in the midst of his dwelling. My temples began to throb from the clashing smells of body odor and overflowing ashtrays. "I didn't, uh... Catch your name." "Name's Theo." "Nice to meet you, Theo." "Likewise. Smoke?" I had been craving a cigarette until I stepped into his trailer so I shook my head in polite declination. The thought of adding to the shroud of smoke I was in made my stomach turn. "I'm fine." "You oughta have a seat while we wait for your boyfriend to come back," Theo pointed to a booth-style sitting area complete with a table across from him as he lit a cigarette in the flame of a silver butane lighter. The table reminded me of a 50's style diner with his gold-flecked enamel and sea-foam green upholstery Not wanting to appear rude, I took a seat and looked up at the small tube TV that was playing a soap opera by the looks of it. The screen was distorted with snow and the audio crackled every once in a while, making it nearly impossible to tell what the actors looked like. Growing bored of that quickly, I resorted to just looking at my own boots while Theo puffed away on his cigarette. "Haven't seen Darlene in quite some time," Theo spoke up between shallows puffs. "Oh yeah? Same here," I chuckled. "That's actually why I'm looking for her. I haven't seen her since I was twelve." "Certainly ain't twelve anymore, huh?" "Certainly not," I squirmed. "Good thing you brought your boyfriend along," Theo remarked ominously. "What makes you say that?" I was unsure if I even wanted to hear his response. "Could be dangerous lookin' for somebody that don't wanna be found." I shrugged. "I guess so. I don't know much about her." "Imagine there's a lot you two need to talk about, what with your old man passin'." "Yeah," I frowned. I didn't much want to talk about my father with anybody. The memory of my dad was still freshly cut and the wound had yet to scab over since every time I seemed to forget about him, someone tore off the membrane by mentioning his death. Theo must have noticed my sour expression because he sighed and stubbed out his cigarette dejectedly. "Sorry to hear that, kid. You know... He was known far and wide. I'm sure people will still be talkin' about him for a long time. "Wel,l I wish they wouldn't." "My apologies." "It's fine. I just... Hate reliving it. We were close." "I imagine so. Imagine he'd be keepin' you quite close considerin' you look just like your ma." "Guess so," I dismissed. It was a challenge not to stare at the filth that Theo surrounded himself in and even harder not to gawk at his nebulous legs bulging with blood and veins. Our conversation was dry after he had brought up my father but as soon as I heard a motorcycle in the distance, my attention perked. Theo looked down at his wristwatch and grunted. "'Bout damn time." There was no sweeter sound than the chugging of the Widowmaker pulling up to the trailer. I was desperate for fresh air and when Axel opened the door and let in a little bit of sunlight, I smiled at him. "Both of you look too damn happy to see me," he laughed. Axel carried in two plastic grocery bags and set them down on the table in front of me. With a sigh, he rested his hand on his hips and looked around expectantly. "Well?" Axel pressed "Are you going to tell us where Darlene is or what? I brought you your stuff while you held my woman hostage so come on now. Out with it!" "You know... Darlene runs with a couple real questionable folks. I'd be careful around them if she still keeps the same company." "I think we've handled our fair share of questionable folks, wouldn't you say, Angel?" With a roll of my eyes, I replied, "just my entire damn life." "You two seem like all right kids. I wouldn't want you gettin' hurt, is all I'm sayin'." "Theo, I appreciate the concern," I nudged him toward the point. "Last I heard your ma had a cottage up on Ashby Lake. Real small town. She showed me a picture last she was down. Looked like her property was right on the lake." "You wouldn't happen to have an address?" I asked. "Not exactly. But there are about a dozen and a half cottages around the lake. You go door-to-door and I bet you'd be able to find her real easy." Axel nodded and then turned to me. "All right! Well, there you go. Ashby Lake. Where the hell is that?" "'Bout two hours North of here." "We can make it by the end of the day if we go now," I told Axel even though he already knew it. "Stay safe out there, kids." ~*~ The closer we rode to the lake, the more my heart began to stammer. Wave after wave of anxiety began to hit me and as we slowed to eighty miles an hour, the vibration of my bike beneath me started to make me feel nauseous. It was only after I increased my speed and flew around a bend in the road that the frequency stopped rumbling my entire body. Axel threw up his hand as if to ask me what the hell I was doing going twenty over the limit but I just couldn't stomach the chugging of my bike. The roof of my mouth began to water and I was overcome with the urge to vomit. I had to pull over or risk throwing up in my helmet. A long stretch of road flanked by nothing but trees was all that I could see for miles and I wasn't certain I would be able to clear it before bile rose to the top of my throat. It took Axel a couple of minutes to pull up after I had veered off the road and parked my bike so I could rip off my helmet and try to still my erratic breathing. His wheels kicked up rocks as he slowed to a full stop and turned off the engine before dropping the heel of his boot against the kickstand. "You okay?" His voice was muffled by the bandanna he had wrapped around the lower half of his face. I bent at the hips and supported myself with my hands on my knees and tried to let the regurgitation happen. Soon I felt a hand on my back and I groaned as I stared at the ground and began to dry heave. "Angel... Jesus. What's wrong?" He asked after I had retched a few times and brought up nothing but acrid spit. "I feel sick!" I yelled. He snatched his hand away and took a couple of steps back to give me the space I needed. My head began to swim and dizziness accompanied my discomfort until I sat down and tried to take in more air. With my head hanging between my legs, I heard the crunching of gravel beneath his boots as he walked away and came back to tap me on the shoulder. An unopened bottle of water was held out for me and I accepted it with a minimal nod. "Are you all right, babe?" My breathing shuddered involuntarily. It settled in that I was having an anxiety attack and the more I thought about it the worse it got. "God, Axe, I don't want to fucking do this anymore. I don't want to see her. This is all so pointless." "What are you talking about? You came all this way. We're almost there! We have a few miles to go." "I know! And now it seems like the biggest waste of time. I should have just stayed in the Port and continued to forget about her. Now it all seems so... Absurd. What am I going to do? Ask her why she didn't show up to my dad's funeral like I expect any good answer? The bitch doesn't want to be found... So why am I looking for her?" Axel crossed one boot over the other and sat down beside me in the dirt. "Because... You have unfinished business. You have questions that need to be answered and if I know you at all... You're not one to just let those questions fester. You need this. You need the closure. It's the only thing that's going to help you get over your dad's passing." I was silenced after what he had said and when he put his arm around my shoulder I laid my head on his and closed my eyes. The gentle wind carried the smell of pine trees to my nostrils and I sucked it in until the queasiness dissipated. Axel was right and I was surprised that the words of comfort he offered actually worked to calm my nerves. He pressed a kiss to my temple and rubbed my back. "I'm right here with you, Angel. I've got nowhere else to be... There's nothing else on this planet for me except for you. I know it's hard to face your demons but... Fuck. You of all people can handle this. And I'll be right here behind you. Ride or die, baby." A smirk cracked over my face and I leaned into him a little more so he could wrap his other arm around me in a tight embrace. Our leather chirred together while he rested his forehead against mine. "You can do this," Axel whispered. "You're better than her. You don't fucking give up." "Okay," I rasped. "Let's go find her, say the things that need to be said, get back on our bikes, go home and get fuckin' married."

[bookishhufflepunk]

That's Not How Promise Rings Work | Young!Regulus Black x Fem!Reader

Summary: Reader is a muggleborn and Reg asks for her help, leading to unintentional love and angst.

Warnings: cursing, death, angst, possibly unedited.

Word Count: uh… roughly twenty pages? Note that I'm writing these on, uh *cough* Notes on my iPod.

A/n: I'm sorry.

Being a muggle born Slytherin is not easy, and only found that out after I was sorted. So… it's just as fun as it sounds to have half of Slytherin completely hate you—the other half doesn't give a fuck because they're not pureblood maniacs, but few are actually muggle borns.

They don't hate me outside of the common room where other houses can see because it makes Slytherin look weaker or some shit. So I spend as much time as I can in the library helping first and second years with homework. Part of that is trying to make Slytherin house look less evil, but most of it is that those kids need help.

"Hey, (y/l/n)," Regulus Black greeted as I walked into the almost empty common room. He was the only one there.

"What do you want?" I asked, not even stopping to look at him and heading towards the girls' dorms.

"I need your help," he said. He's a death eater, what the hell could he possibly need my help for other than planning my murder?

I turned around on the steps to my dorm and bent down so I could see under the doorway. He was sitting on the couch, looking at me over his shoulder and fiddling with something in his hand. His black hair wasn't perfectly brushed like it usually was and was messed up from his hand being ran through it many times. He does that when he's stressed, I noticed almost two years back when he became a death eater—I sent tea and cinnamon rolls up to his room, he never knew it was me; I may not be Voldy's biggest fan, but Regulus Black stopped eating all together, until I started sending him cinnamon rolls.

"With what?" I asked from the safety of the stairway.

"Come'er," he said, waving me over.

"I feel much safer here," I said, shaking my head.

"I won't hurt you," he said.

"It doesn't need to be painful to die," I said.

"I won't harm you," he corrected. There was something like desperation in his voice. I continued staring at him with a blank expression. "I promise."

He's a man of his word. I walked down and sat on the opposite side of the couch, dropping my school bag next to it and pulling my legs to my chest, facing him.

"You're an intelligent person, right?" He asked.

"There are better minds, but I suppose I get good enough grades," I said. "If it's intelligence you're looking for, Ravenclaw might be the better place to look."

"I'd rather work with a Slytherin," he said. Work? He continued to fiddle with whatever was in his hands.

"What's this about?" I asked.

He moved so he was right next to me. I could smell his minty breathe. His gray eyes looked so tired. His skin was deathly pale, but then again, it always is.

"I need you to promise you won't tell anyone what I'm about to tell you," he said. He held up a simple silver ring, it was what he had been fiddling with. A promise ring. "It's a muggle thing called a promise ring."

"Yeah, I know," I said, not touching the ring. "But they're for relationships."

"Oh…" he said, cheeks turning red with blush. He put the ring in his pocket, "never mind with the ring then, I was just trying do something muggle-ish to gain your trust. But anyway… I really do need you to promise me that you won't tell anyone."

I thought it over for a moment; what's the worst thing that will happen? Mmm, probably someone ending up with a broken nose and I made somewhat of a fool of myself.

"Okay, I swear on my mother's grave I won't tell anyone," I said.

He smiled, something he rarely does. He took my hand and led me out of the common room, I followed him so he didn't drag me by my hand. He led me in an empty class room in a tower, out of the way, no one would just wander into this room.

"Okay, so I believe the Dark Lord has made something called a horcruxes—it's a piece of his soul put in an object for safekeeping. It makes him kind of immortal," he said pacing around. Shit, this is deep. "I want to destroy it and I would like your help."

"You realize what you're saying, right?" I asked. He nodded. I grabbed his left arm and rolled up his sleeve, relieving his Dark Mark. "You are rebelling again Voldy himself."

"Yes," he said. "I just wanted to please my parents; I don't want to kill people, I don't want be a death eater." "Congratulations," I smiled. "Now what do you know about horcruxes?" "Not much yet, that's why I want your help, you're HeadGirl, you can get into the restricted zone in the library," he said. "That and you're a good person, someone I envy."

I just nodded and paced a bit, trying to think of a book that would have the information I needed. I took my wand out of my rob and turned an old chair sitting on top of a desk into a record player. I turned on music. I listen to music in the library and it jogs my memory. I took some paper and a quill out of the desk and wrote book titles so I remembered them when I went looking.

"Where would he put it?" I asked as I wrote.

"What?" He asked.

"Well, if you can choose the object, why not make it a pebble and throw it in the ocean?" I asked, looking up. "What would Voldy do?"

"He's too grand to put his soul in a pebble," he said. "I know where he put it, I just need to know what it is."

We looked through the library for mouths together, but barely found anything. No one really knew we were friends, to them, we were just people with insomnia or some shit, glared and drank a lot off coffee all of a sudden.

"Lest day of Hogwarts," he said as we walked around the lake. "I can't believe I'm leaving after seven years. At least you get to go on to healing school."

"Says who?" I asked. I had applied for healing schools and been accepted, but then I rejected them.

"I saw you with the letters from the schools," he said.

"Coulda been rejection letters," I said. He didn't know I rejected them.

"No way, you've worked as a nurse in the hospital wing for three years, Madam Pomfrey would've given you a good word," he said, nudging me with his elbow.

"Yeah, you're right, but I rejected them," I said. "I sent those applications a while ago, I've changed my mind about life."

"Then what're you gonna be?" He asked. "The minister? An auror? A Quidditch star?"

"A dead girl most likely," I said. "I'm going with you."

"What?" He asked, stopping and staring at me.

I turned around and faced him. "You can't seriously think I'd let you go by yourself, do you?" I asked.

He'd made a plan to get the horcruxe after he got home, and he made it after I sent my application letters. It was a death trap.

"I told you before, you're not going to give your life for this," he said.

"We may not actually die," I said. "And your words were 'I'm not asking you to give your life,' as in I can if that's what I choose, it's not your choice."

"I forbid it," he said.

"You have no power over me," I said, standing my ground.

"This is my mission," he said. "You're not coming."

"Remember where you'd be if I didn't help you," I said. "I've helped so far, I'm seeing it through."

"You could die!" He yelled.

"And you're planning on dying, tell me how this is different!" I yelled.

"I love you, (y/n) (y/m/n) (y/l/n)!" He yelled angrily.

"Well I love you too, Regulus Arcturus Black!" I yelled back. "Your point is invalid!"

"I…! What did you just say?" He asked, anger melting.

"I said I love you," I said much quieter than I had before. He stared at me in disbelief. I covered for myself, "but you're to busy with your head up your arse to notice such things."

I walked past him, back to the castle. I had some packing to do. I walked to the dungeon. Professor Slughorn stopped me before I could get to the common room.

"Miss (y/l/n), I'm throwing a farewell party-" he looked up from his notes and saw I was crying, something I haven't done since my mum died. "My girl, what's wrong?"

"Black was being an obvious arsehole," I said, wiping tears off my cheeks, and forcing a smile. "I'm fine though. As you were saying?"

"Do I need to talk to mister Black about this?" He asked. He was one of my favorite professors because of stuff like that, though I didn't much enjoy being in the Slug-Club.

"No, it's not like when we had the hex fight and I broke his nose," I said with a little laugh. "He just needs to think about it, we'll be fine."

"You haven't broken his nose recently, have you?" He asked.

"No, we got over our problems, well, most of them," I said. "Anyway, I've got to go pack so I can attend that party of yours."

He nodded and I went to the dorms. I didn't want to go to the party, but I'd rather go than talk to Slughorn about Reg and I. I worked on packing and packed away all my Quidditch stuff. Reg had won the place as seeker, so I got to be a chaser. I made a little time capsule and hid it on the under side of the mattress—a record of Slytherins not being evil. I put my unfinished journal in it, I had stopped writing in it when Reg asked for my help. Let the reader imagine the ending to my story. I put my black dress on the bed so I could wear it tonight.

I read until seven thirty. I took a shower and dried my hair. I put on the backless black dress. It had half sleeves that tied together on the top. It stopped at my knees. This is my favorite dress because it's comfortable unlike every other dress I own. I put on black slippers and tied my hair up in a messy bun and held it up with my wand. I put on some makeup to hide any evidence of crying.

I walked down to Slughorn's classroom. Music was playing and every seventh year in the Slug-Club was there. I said hello to Slughorn before standing in my space by the curtains, so I could hide if I wanted—it's always where I stand during these parties.

"Are you okay?" Reg asked behind me. I would recognize that voice anywhere, I've listened to him try to sing while I played guitar and give Quidditch orders and just plain out talk, I know his voice and can read it like a book.

"Still breathing, so I'm fine," I said without looking at him. We haven't been seen together yet, only at Quidditch practice and games, and when we dueled in the common room—I dueled with a lot of people in the common room. "How're you?"

"Alive at the moment like you," he said, then dropping a coin or something and picking it up.

"That's nice," I said.

I felt him take my left hand from behind and put something on my ring finger. He let go of my hand and I looked at it. The promise ring that he had when he asked for my help was on my finger now.

"Promise to go to healing school and live out your dream," he said. "Sorry if my death hurts you."

"First off, that's not how these rings work, and second, I'm still going with you," I said.

"If I can't have you, I will protect you," he said.

"I never said we can't be together," I said.

"But everyone else did," he said, sounding kind of pained.

I took the ring off my finger and held it behind me for him to take. He took my hand and closed my fingers around the ring.

"There's no one I'd rather have it," he said, with defiant pain.

"I've got to go, I'll see you later," I said. He let go of my hand.

I walked of the room for probably the last time. I held the ring in my hand as I walked. I went to the great hall where everyone else was and walked straight up to the professors' table. I stood right in front of Dumbledore.

"I need you to take Regulus Black's wand away," I said. I cannot lose him, he's the first person I've been able to have an emotional attachment to since my mum died and I will kill him if he dies.

"That is a very serious request, why?" He asked.

"To save him," I said. I'll keep my promise but I'll save him.

"From what?" McGonagall asked.

"From death, obviously," I said. "If you take his wand he can't get himself killed."

"We need real reason," she said.

"Damn you! Your job is to protect the students and you are going to let him die!" I yelled. "I hate you!"

"When is he to die?" Dumbledore asked.

"Two weeks or so," I said, waving my hand dismissively.

"He won't be a student by then," he said. "I am sorry, but we cannot meddle with that."

"Fine then!" I yelled, turning around and walking off.

I left the great hall and went back to the common room. I laid on the common room couch and waited for Reg to get back. I put the ring on my finger then took it off over and over again. The common room door opened and Reg walked in.

"Hey, Slughorn wants you in the picture," he said, looking down at me on the couch.

"Would he be terribly mad if you said I was asleep?" I asked but got up anyway because this is for Slughorn.

We walked back to the class room and stood in the back of the group of seventh years. There was a flash of the camera and everyone waved and smiled. Regulus on the other hand kissed me. It wasn't a big kiss, just a long peck on the lips. We were behind a lot of people, so I guess he wasn't worried about it showing up in the picture.

"I don't want you to hate me," he said quietly. I raised my eyebrows at him; why'd he think I was angry? "You seemed kind of grumpy."

"I don't hate you," I said, taking his hand in mine. He looked at my hand and smiled—I was wearing the ring.

We walked away after that, acting like we didn't kiss. I said a proper goodnight to Slughorn.

"Now what's this?" He asked as I shook his hand. "Are you engaged?"

"Ah… no, it's a muggle thing and the ring just fit my ring finger best," I said, blushing at the thought of being engaged. "I'm a bit too young for marriage and all that."

"So has all been worked out with mister Black?" He asked. "I saw you two kiss in the class photo."

I turned absolutely red. I never blush, but that's only because I have no reason to, but now my teach is questioning me about my love life.

"Yes, all's well," I said.

The next morning a ate breakfast and went to the train station. Regulus and I hadn't talked since last nigh, I'm hoping he's okay, but who knows at this point? I sat in an empty compartment and put on headphones. I read.

"Mind if I sit?" Reg asked at the door, in a hoodie and jeans—the most causal thing he's ever worn.

"As long as no death eaters crash the party," I said, taking my headphones off.

He smiled and walked in, closing the door behind him. He sat down and laid his head on my lap. I ran my fingers through his hair.

"Is this what it feels like to be a normal teenager?" He asked.

"Define normal," I said.

"Muggle," he said with a goofy smile that made me small. "Muggle teens don't have to deal with being death eaters and being called evil because their house."

"What's gotten into you?" I asked though I was laughing a bit.

"Love," he sang. He sat up with that goofy smile still on his lips. "I love you…"—his smile started fading—"(y/n), I want to protect you, which is why I want you to stay behind, not because I'm underestimating you."

"You don't always get what you want," I said.

"Fine," he sighed and laid his head back on my lap. I smiled down at him and continued reading. "You're such a Hufflepuff."

"I broke your nose twice and other people's countless times," I said, ruffling his silky hair. "Not mention I was a beast on the Quidditch field."

He groaned, his face pinching. "Don't talk about Hogwarts in the past tense yet," he said, holding his abdomen like it physically pained him.

I kissed his forehead. "Best seven years of my life," I said. "Even if half my roommates hated me."

We were silent for a while, until he spoke up. "So my parents will be gone for a week," he said.

"Where is this conversation going?" I asked, closing my book.

He shrugged and played with my hair. "I won't need to sneak around for a week," he said.

"You could stay with my family if you don't mind my five siblings," I said. "Unless you want to stay in your creepy house."

"How do you know it's creepy?" He asked. "Not that you're wrong."

"I guessed it was something like Slytherin common room with all its weird lighting and un-coziness," I said as I opened my book again.

"So you have five siblings?" He asked.

"Yeah, Coll, he's nineteen, Toby and Quinn, they're sixteen, Robby, she's fifteen, Ben as in Benjamin, he's… six I think," I said.

"That's a large age jump," he said.

"He's adopted," I explained.

"Would they mind me staying?" He asked.

"Toby, Coll and Ben might give you the intimidating brother speech and my dad might glare a bit but they'll be fine with it," I said.

"intimidating brother speech?" He asked, giggling. Giggling!

"Yes, they'll say something along the lines of 'hurt her and you're dead'," I said, running my fingers through his hair. If you twisted the meaning of the sentence, it would mean, if he hurt me, that means he'd be dead, which made my stomach twist.

"Tell me about muggles," he said after awhile. "I would like to hear your voice as much as possible before…"

"Well… they have an infuriating game called Monopoly, and you're laying on the (y/l/n) champion," I said.

"Oh, I once played that with Sirius and his friends, he was supposed to be babysitting me," he smiled, eyes lighting up with joy. He has few good memories with his older brother because they never got along and I guess that was one of them. "I love muggle games, tell me about them."

I had a feeling that he knew very little about muggle games but he found a light subject and wanted me to talk.

"Ever hear of truth or dare?" I asked.

I've never seen it played in the common room, so I doubt he did.

He shook his head. "But it sounds pretty self explanatory," he said.

"It is," I laughed. "You either have to do a dare or tell a truth."

"Truth or dare?" He asked with a challenging tone.

"Truth," I said, putting my book down with my bookmark in it.

"Why did you storm away after you told me you loved me?" He asked.

"Mmm, it's kind of complicated, but most of it was fear," I said. "Truth or dare?"

"Truth," he said.

"Why'd you choose me to help?" I asked.

"As I said way back when we first talked; I envy your free will and kindheartedness," he said, frowning. "Sorry for dragging you down, it wasn't fair of me to do that."

"I don't like being high as a balloon if I'm not helping anyone," I said. "Don't you dare apologize."

"You were going to be a healer," he said, putting his hand on my cheek.

"If we kill Voldy, how many people do we save from certain death?" I asked, taking his hand in mine.

"I thought it was my turn?" He asked, trying to change the subject. I let it slide because I didn't want to talk about Voldy either. "Truth or dare?"

"Dare," I said, taking a chance.

We played truth and dare for most of the train ride, but eventually he fell asleep and I stayed up so nothing happened.

When we pulled into the station, I put my book away and woke up Reg gently, not really wanting to mess up his peaceful sleep—he's admitted that he had a hard time sleeping "Hmm?" He hummed.

"We're at platform nine and three quarters," I said.

He nodded and stood up. We picked up our trunks and walked off the train. I didn't see dad, so I went to a nearby pay phone, Reg following. I would just apparate home, but I don't want to abandon him if he is here. I called home first.

"Yellow?" Quinn asked.

"Hey, Quinn," I said.

"Dad had car trouble," she answered my unasked question.

"Key, be home in a minute," I said.

With that, she hung up. I stepped out of the phone box. I led Reg to an alleyway where we could apparate. I held his hand a disapparated. I landed on my front porch where Quinn was sitting.

"Who's the boy?" She asked, smiling.

"My…" I looked at him. What the hell are we? I liked it better when we didn't need a name.

"Friend," Regulus said after a moment of thinking.

"He'll be staying with us for a week," I said.

She shrugged and helped us carry our trunks inside. Robby was in the living room watching a movie with Ben; Toby and Coll were in the kitchen; dad was no where to be seen and Quinn disappear. Ben jumped off the couch and tried to tackle me in a hug.

"Hey, Benny," I smiled. "I heard you caused a lot of trouble while I was gone."

"Toby is the one that made the trouble!" He said.

"I was just teasing you," I laughed. He went pale as a ghost, looking over my shoulder. I looked over my shoulder at Reg. He was just standing there awkwardly. "What's up, Ben?"

Ben has the weirdest ability to know stuff about people, even strangers walking down the street. I have a feeling it's magic, but there's no way to know for sure until he's older.

"He works for Voldy," he whispered. Yeah, he says Voldy like me, I don't like calling him You-Know-Who.

"Past tense, buddy, worked for Voldy," I said. "He's a good guy now."

"But he has that tattoo thing," he said, poking at his own left arm.

"He can't get rid of it," I said. "Where's dad?"

"In the garage fixing his car," Coll said, walking out of the kitchen, eating a sandwich.

"'Key," I said. "Show Reg to the guest room and don't kill him, that's my job."

"Robby took the guest room because she and Quinn needed more space," he said.

"Then give him the spar bed in your room," I said.

"Ben's room is bigger," he said.

Ben shook his head rapidly. "I don't want him in my room, he's a… (y/n), what do you call them?" He asked.

"Death eater and he isn't," I said, putting him down because he was getting heavy. "Coll, you're not here half of the time."

"Fine," he said. "You own me a chocolate frog."

"No, I don't," I said, walking to the garage. "All my chocolate frogs are for Benny."

I walked into the garage and dad was frustratedly trying to fix his car which was made mostly of duct tape.

"Y'know, I could fix it with magic," I said.

He looked up, grease smudged on his forehead. He smiled. "How was the trip?" He asked.

"Good," I smiled. "Hung out with my friend."

"So you stopped being so antisocial, then?" He asked.

"Not exactly," I said, shuffling my feet. "You know Regulus Black?"

"Yeah, I got a couple letters saying you broke his nose or you got in a fight, Regulus Black was one of the names," he said. "Isn't he a death eater?"

"No, not anymore," I said, holding a screw driver he handed me. "He—and I—want to…. There's something called a horcruxe and he needs to destroy it, and I'm going with him. What I'm really trying to say is, one day I might not come home, and I need you to keep it together when that happens."

"You said when, not if," he said.

I shrugged. "I just don't want you to ghost or whatever," I said.

"Please outlive me," he said.

"I'll try," I lied. He smile sadly and went back to work. "Anyway… Reg will be staying with us for a week, if you need me, I'll be trading chocolate frog cards."

"I thought you hated him, what happened?" He asked as I left.

I stopped at the door way. "Turns out he was only an arsehole because peer-pressure," I said. "He's quite a nice person once you get through the shell, but I do t regret hexing him before."

"Good, never regret defending yourself," he said.

I shook my head and left. I went back inside. I carried my trunk upstairs, stopping dead in my tracks when I see Ben throwing stuff at Reg as he covered his face with his arms, standing in the doorway of Coll's bedroom.

"Benjamin, stop that," I ordered. He put down a toy truck. "What's up?"

"He said the 'Dark Lord,' which means he's a bad guy!" He exclaimed, pointing at Reg.

"He says that like we say 'Voldy,' just out of habit," I said, blankly, not even questioning how he knew that—he's totally a wizard of some sort. "I want you to stop thinking he's evil."

He sighed and walked back downstairs after picking up his toys. I rubbed my eyes then looked at Reg.

"Sorry about him, he's a mind reader or something, certain stuff sets him off," I said, carrying my trunk to the room I shared with Quinn and Robby but now just Quinn.

"It's okay," he said, following me. "Kids don't like me."

"Mmm, yeah, I'll still talk to him about it," I said, unpacking.

He walked over to Quinn and I's desk where we kept our photos. All but two were muggle pictures. Most of them were Quinn and her friends, Quinn and her girlfriend, a couple were me hanging out with Quinn and her friends. The two wizard pictures were Ben and I after we adopted him—I was trying to cheer him up—and the other was a family picture. I picked up two more pictures from my trunk and put them on the desk, one was the class photo Slughorn took and the other was one of Reg while he was reading out by the lake.

"When did you get this?" He asked, pointing at the one of him.

"A month ago," I said, going back to unpacking.

Toby came in and fell on my bed. "Did you know that Ben is having a fit because of him," he said, pointing at Reg.

"I'll talk to him," I said, walking out.

I walked downstairs to the living room where Ben say cross armed on the armchair. I picked him up from behind and carried him outside. We walked through the peach orchard to the hill on the far side and sat down on top. I ignored all his questions until I sat down.

"What's up, Ben?" I asked. That's how I ask him what he sees or reads or whatever.

"You're gonna die because of him," he said. I pulled him onto my lap and rocked him back and forth. "Why? Why not stay home?"

"Because I've got to think about the world your gonna live in, not my future," I said. "I want you to be safe when you go to Hogwarts."

"I'm going to Hogwarts?" He asked.

"Probably," I said, resting my chin on top of his head.

"I don't want you to go," he said, wrapping his little arms around my neck.

"I know," I said. "But if this works, so many people will be safe, and so many people won't live in fear."

"And if it doesn't work?" He asked.

"We're not going to think about that," I said. We sat there in silence for awhile, the sun was setting. "Why do you hate Regulus?"

"He's gonna take you away from us and you're gonna die," he said, frowning.

"That's my choice, Benjamin," I said, ruffling his hair. "Is that the only reason?"

"Yes," he said quietly.

"Well could you stop? I don't want to watch you two fight all week," I said.

"Yeah," he said.

"I need you to promise me you won't tell anyone what you know," I said, standing up to walk home.

"Okay, I swear I won't tell," he said. I nodded and we walked back hand in hand.

Ben was the neighbors' kid, and our mothers were friends. I was hanging out with mum when we went over to Ben's mum's house. At that point, we weren't friends. Death eaters decided to drop in. Though I was only thirteen, I carried around my wand and fought the death eaters with pathetic spells. Ben's family died and so did mum, but I got Ben out of the house in time and we hid in the orchard. After that, Ben didn't leave my side for a week and wouldn't talk to anyone else.

We walked inside and I went up to my room, where Reg and Toby were talking. Jeez, it's been like an hour. I fell in bed next to Toby and pushed Toby away.

"What does Ben say?" Toby asked, not moving.

"He says you're a frog, get out of my bed," I said.

He sighed and rolled out of bed onto the floor. "Now what does he say?" He asked.

"He's just being an over protective little brother," I lied, covering my face with my pillow. "He'll stop."

"That's good," he said. "Oh, by the way, Coll went out to get us pizza."

"Oh thank Marlin!" I sang. "I didn't feel like cooking."

"what's pizza?" Reg asked.

"You poor deprived child, how can you not know?" Toby asked.

"I'm older than you," Reg said.

"(Y/n), how can you be friends with someone who doesn't know what pizza is?" Toby asked.

I rolled my eyes. Robby walked in. "Yo, (y/n), can I talk to you?" She asked, nodding her head to the hallway.

"If I can take my bed," I said but got up anyway. I walked to her room and laid on her bed. "What do you want?"

"Who the hell is this Regulus Black?" She asked, falling into bed next to me. "My friend," I said.

"Then who gave you the ring?" She asked smirking.

"You might as well get Quinn," I said. I didn't feel like explaining Reg and I's relationship twice.

"She's snogging Meredith on the front porch," she said.

"Well then you're waiting, 'cause I'm only explaining it once," I said.

"Wait here!" She said and scrambled out of the room.

"You're so rude!" I yelled after her, rolling my eyes. I closed my eyes and opened them when she got back, dragging Quinn and Meredith. "Hey, Mery."

"Hey, (y/n)," she said.

Robby closed the door and sat on her desk with a smile. "Okay, now you can explain your love life," she said.

"You know how friends with benefits works?" I asked.

"Yeah, I thought you had better class than that," Quinn said, sitting at at the end of the bed.

"I do," I said, "our relationship is more like relationship minus the benefits."

"So he's your boyfriend but you don't kiss and whatever?" Meredith asked.

"No, we say we're friends," I said. "But we romantically love each other."

"Then why aren't you together?" Robby asked.

"It's complicated, many reasons, but most of it is his family," I said. "They'd kill me."

Meredith didn't know I was being literal because she didn't know about the wizard world. But Robby and Quinn knew and that's what mattered.

"That's so Romeo and Juliet," Meredith said.

"Eh… I guess," I shrugged.

"Pizza!" I heard Coll yell.

"Lovely talk, girls, but food is more important," I said, getting up.

We walked downstairs and sat around the dining room. Coll's girlfriend was there, along with Toby's best friend. Dad sat next to me before Reg could, so Reg awkwardly took the seat next to dad. I shook my head at my dad and started eating.

"So how was school, (y/n)?" Coll's girlfriend—Allis—asked.

"Good," I said, before taking a bite of pizza. "I missed t-shirts and sunlight though."

Everyone except Toby's friend, Allis, and Meredith cracked up laughing, even Reg. I had explained to my family awhile ago that my dorms are freezing and there wasn't sunlight under the black lake.

"What's so funny?" Toby's friend—Zack—asked.

"Nothing," Toby said after he stopped laughing.

This was just a reminder, I'm doing this for the people who laugh, and have lives, and loves. I just hope Toby is gay so he can make Zack's day one day.

The week flow by, and Reg and I acted like muggle teens the whole week, going to the movies and eating out. But then he went home and we continued planning. Kreacher constantly insulted me and I ignored it all like he ignored Regulus' requests to stop.

I spent my time at home when I should be sleeping, writing a letter to Regulus, but it never looked right, so I patched the letters together.

I pretended everything was okay but I went on walks with Ben through the orchard, talking to him about it. Coll sensed something was wrong but I brushed it off as having a friend whose family hated me.

I sat with Ben on the hill, watching the sun rise in perfect silence. He was crying in my arms.

"I better be going, buddy," I said quietly, holding him tightly.

"Please don't," he sniffled.

"I'm sorry, Benjamin," I said, putting him down and standing up. "I love you, always remember that."

"I love you too," he said.

I smiled and disapparated. I landed in the foyer of Reg's house. Reg and Kreacher were standing in the hallway, Reg was putting on her cloak. I put my wand away and rubbed my right eye.

"Hey, Kreacher, could you show me to the bathroom; I think there's something in my eye," I said.

He grumbled and led me upstairs. He pointed to a door. I didn't go in.

"Kreacher, there's nothing in my eye," I said quietly. I held out the letter, "give this to Regulus when you guys get back, and make sure he gets back safe."

He stared at me then took my letter. I guess I earned his trust by putting Reg's safety before myself. I rubbed my face then we went back downstairs where Regulus was ready.

"You can always back out," he said, worry in his voice.

"No way," I said.

"Okay, take us to the cave, Kreacher," he said, taking my hand.

Kreacher had put the letter who knows where. He took Regulus' other hand and we disapparated. We landed on rocks and had to swim some to get to the cave. We didn't even bother drying off.

"Now you have to put blood on the wall," Kreacher said.

I took the knife from Reg and cut open the palm of my hand before he could protest. I pressed my hand to the salty wall and refused to wince at the salt in the wound and let my blood drip down the wall.

"You should've let me," Reg said behind me.

"Such a gentleman," I said.

A door way reviled itself and we went through to a dark chamber. In the light of my wand, there was murky greenish water and The light didn't reach the other side.

"Don't touch the water," Kreacher warned as he led the way over the small, crumbling path.

"Here," Reg said behind me, handing me a long piece of white cloth.

I wrapped it around my hand as we walked. Kreacher stopped at a small dock with a small boat. We climbed in and it was pulled by some magic force across the water.

We reached a little island and climbed up it. On top was a pool of clear potion—that's what Kreather told us. Reg went to take the shell bowl but I stopped him before he could get very far.

"What's your worst memory?" I asked. Before he could respond, I continued, "it's probably worse than mine, let me do this."

"But you cut your hand to get us in," he said.

"It was barely a scratch," I said.

"(Y/n), let me do this," he said.

"I'm not going to watch you suffer," I said. "Hand me the bowl."

He sighed and handed it over, looking down. This might be the last time I get a chance to say this.

"I love you, Regulus Arcturus Black," I said.

He looked up. "I love you too, (y/n) (y/m/n) (y/l/n)," he said.

I pecked him on the lips before scooping up the first bowl of potion to my lips and downed it. It tasted fowl and hurt my insides. Then the memories started, mum dying, leaving Ben to go back to school, everything painful to the heart looped in my head. And I wanted it to stop, I begged for it to stop. But someone was forcing the evil potion down my throat. Eventually, after hours and hours of pain, it all numbed into a dry throat and a headache. My vision was blurry, but I saw Kreacher switching the locket and Reg by my side.

"I'm so sorry, love," he said.

I pushed myself to sit up. I needed water.

"Lay back down," he said.

"I need water," I choked out, trying to stand up.

"I'll get up some," he said. He tried to get water magically, but it wasn't working.

I was light headed and tried to walk, but stumbled and fell down the sharp island. I felt water around me and my head cleared. Shit.

I felt claws grabbing at me and I took out my wand and fended them off. I tried to swim back to the island but I was being pulled away. I could barely keep my head above the water.

I heard something and saw Regulus reaching out for me, wand in his other hand. He got pulled in by a skeleton hand. I kicked and shoot spells and made my way to him. He lost his wand in the chaos and went under. I went under and kept fighting.

I managed to push him back to the island where Kreather pulled him up. But not in time to help me. I was so tired from fighting in the water, my flesh was being pulled off.

I was too far away, but I fought anyway. Before I was pulled under again, I made eye contact with Kreather and threw my wand at Regulus.

Then I went under, claws pulling my flesh off my bones. My lunges felt like they were going to explode. I was being pulled into unconsciousness, but I managed one last thought.

I saved Regulus, and so I smiled….

-Regulus' POV-

She threw her wand and went under. I was on my hands and knees sobbing. Her wand landed at my hands and I picked it up right before Kreacher disapparated. We landed in my bedroom and I continued sobbing.

Kreacher handed me a letter. "Kreacher will tell Mistress Black you will not be joining her for breakfast," he said.

"Wait, don't," I said. He obeyed. I opened the letter. It was a small letter, in (y/n)'s handwriting. What?

Regulus, my love,

If you're reading this, it means I'm dead, or it's a very depressing letter that you should stop reading. I don't want you to blame yourself for my death, I gave it for you and I won't regret it.

There's a couple things I want you to do; first, stay out of deadly trouble; second, tell my family I'm dead, I'd rather they not find out in a letter, and I've already warned my father I might die; third… find Sirius… and ask his help.

He'll help you, I know that, because he loves you, you just have to ask for his help. If you want to continue rebelling against Voldy, you have to have someone on your side, Sirius would be a good person for that to be. Don't let my death drag you down because I wanted you to live.

I love you.

-(Y/n) (y/l/n).

I reread the small letter over and over, tears from my eyes. I looked up at Kreacher.

"I'm leaving, Kreacher," I said. "Best of luck, my friend."

I magically packed my trunk… with (y/n)'s wand… and disapparated. I landed on the pouch of a mansion that I went to with Sirius one time and where he told me when he ran away I could find him in case I wanted to join him. The Potters'.

I knocked and waited, wiping tears off my face. First I'll find Sirius, then I'll tell (y/n)'s family.

I impatiently fiddle with my hands, though it's only been five seconds. The door opens and there was the woman I saw so many years ago.

"Regulus Black?" She asked.

"Yeah," I nodded. "Do you know where I might find Sirius?"

"Yes," she said, pulling me inside. "I'll call him over."

I nodded, wiping new tears off my face. She attacked me with a towel and to that point, I hadn't realized I was still soaking wet from trying to save (y/n) in the water.

"What happen to you?" She asked.

"(Y/n) got killed," I said like she'd understand.

"Poor darling," she said, wrapping the towel around my shoulder.

She led me to the kitchen and made me some tea before taking the muggle-phone off the wall and calling someone assumed to be Sirius.

"Hello, Sirius," she said, glancing at me as I stared at my tea. "Regulus is here and would like to talk to you… no, I don't believe he is."

She put the phone back on the wall and made breakfast. Someone came in through the front door and Sirius walked in. Mrs. Potter put two plates of food and walked away with a third and forth.

"What's wrong?" Sirius asked as I stared at my food.

"(Y/n), my… friend, died saving me," I said, having trouble finding a wood to describe what we were.

"You hesitated," he said.

"I love her," I said.

He got up and pulled me into a hug. I started crying again. What the hell am I going to do without her?

"She was perfect," I found myself say. "She had a goal to make Slytherin less evil, and she helped me so much though the last year. And- and sh- she gave her life for me—she planned on it!"

"She sounds nice," he said, rocking me back and forth like he would when I very little and our parents were fighting, I'd have anxiety attacks.

"She even wrote me a letter for Kreacher to give me after she died," I said, letting the tears fall. "How could she die, for me?"

"Why'd she die?" He asked after a while.

I spilled everything, everything about the horcruxe, everything she did to help me, everything we did, everything I had planned on doing, everything.

We spent most of the day at the Potters', but then I told Sirius I had to go to (y/n)'s house to break the news to them, Sirius went with me.

[captaincanarygotmelike]

Fic: Voices Carry ch. 15

I'm back!!! It feels like it's been almost two months since I last posted something because it has. Oops. Anyway, I've returned with another chapter!

Read on AO3

Read on Fanfiction.net

Sara returned to the living room nearly an hour after she’d left with Avery.

“My child conned me into falling asleep with her again,” Sara said, brushing her tousled hair out of her eyes.

She sat next to Leonard on the couch, resting her legs across his and wrapping her arms around his neck.

“Anyway,” she continued, “Avery asked me something I didn’t exactly expect.”

“And what might that’ve been?”

“Well, first she wanted to know if we were gonna get married.”

“And?” Leonard smirked.

“I told her you’d have to ask me first,” she teased. Leonard rolled his eyes.

“But what she really wanted to ask me was if she would be able to call you dad.”

“Really?”

“Mmm-hmm,” Sara nodded, “I said she should ask you at some point and that the three of us would all sit down and talk about it, but I’d like to hear your two cents first.”

Leonard was quiet, with a look of consideration on his face.

Sara had learned through the past few weeks that Leonard let her take control of their relationship when things were new. Sara had kissed him first, Sara initiated PDA around the cabin, Sara had first started the discussion about getting married a few days ago. She knew that Leonard wanted to experience these new milestones, he just didn’t know how, so he let Sara take the reins.

He wanted to have this discussion about Avery calling him Dad, but Sara knew that he needed her to get it started.

“Look,” she said, “I know this is a conversation you never imagined having, and I understand why you’d be weirded out by it, but just so you know, I’d be okay with Ave calling you Dad if you are.”

“I’m not uncomfortable about it,” he said, “But I’m not actually her dad. What’ll happen if her actual dad shows up one day.”

“I’ll tell him you were here first,” Sara replied, “Because you were.”

“I just feel like I might not deserve the title,” he said, and Sara could see the uncertainty on his face, “You were there for her first steps and first words and first day of school. I’ve been here for, what, two months?”

“First of all, it’s definitely been longer than that. Second of all, she’s only four. There’ll be more firsts. You helped her with her first school project and you heard her first swear word,” she tipped her head to the side in consideration, “You rescued her from her first attempted kidnapping.”

She chuckled and Leonard even managed a smile.

“And yes,” she continued, “I was there for her first steps and her first words and all those other firsts because I’m doing my job as her mom, and she’s had me her whole life. Her dad didn’t even both sticking around until she was born. That was a choice he chose to make, but his selfishness doesn't mean that Avery never gets to have a father. Clearly she thinks you’re up for the job. And so do I.”

Leonard nodded, looking deep into her turquoise eyes.

“But,” she said, leaning away from him and stretching her legs out in front of her, “Don’t let me lead you in one particular direction. You get to make up your own mind.”

“Are you two done yet?” Cisco asked, striding into the room with a bowl of popcorn in one hand, “Game of Thrones is on in five minutes and it won’t be any fun if you’re being all couple-y in the background.”

“Yes, we’re done,” Leonard rolled his eyes, “Put on your show, Ramon.”

They all sat and watched Game of Thrones together, and when it was over, they all gradually traipsed off to bed until Leonard and Sara were the only ones left in the room.

“Did you hear Lisa and Cisco decided to move in together?” Sara asked him.

“Yes,” Leonard rolled his eyes, but the irritation on his face didn’t last long. He was happy for his sister, even if he didn’t always show it, “She’s gonna start moving out when we go back to Central City.”

“You know, she doesn’t have to be the only one.”

“What do you mean?”

“Maybe,” Sara said, “When we get back, you could move in with Ave and me.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, why not?” she replied, “I mean, we’re already pretty much living together now.”

“Do you think Avery would be okay with it?”

“I’m pretty sure you could literally kidnap Avery and she’d be okay with it,” she joked. They heard the sound of a bedroom door open, “Speak of the devil.”

They heard the sound of little feet padding against the hardwood floors.

“Woah!” Sara said, “What are you doing up?”

Leonard turned in his seat to see Avery running into the room.

“I woke up!” she said, smiling innocently.

“I see that,” Sara replied, “but you have to go back to bed. It’s way too late for you to be up.”

“You’re up,” Avery said, climbing into Sara’s lap.

“Yes, but I wasn’t awake at five in the morning.”

“Yeah you were ‘cos I woke you up.”

“I wasn’t awake by choice,” Sara corrected, “C’mon, you have to go back to bed.”

“I tried,” Avery whined, rolling over so she was hanging over the side of the couch, “I can’t sleep.”

“Hey Ave,” Leonard said, leaning over to pick something up off the side table next to him, “After you went to bed, I looked through my bookshelves and i found this.”

He held up a thin hardcover book. Avery looked at the cover.

“I can’t read,” she said.

“I know,” he replied, “It’s The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe.”

Avery’s face brightened.

“That’s the movie we watched today!”

“I know,” he said again.

“Mommy!” Avery said, pulling on Sara’s hand, “Can Lenny read the Narnia book to me? I promise I’ll really go to sleep this time.”

“Lenny can if he wants to,” Sara replied, “But I’m going to bed.”

She planted a kiss on Leonard’s lips and another on the top of Avery’s head and stood from the couch.

“Goodnight,” she called over her shoulder as she headed towards her and Leonard’s bedroom,

“G’night Mommy,” Avery said.

Leonard stood from the couch and picked up Avery.

“Let’s go,” he said, “One chapter and then you have to go to bed.”

Avery nodded, resting her cheek on his shoulder.

He carried her to her bedroom and set her down on the bed. He sat next to her and opened the book to the first chapter.

“Wait!” she screeched and began fishing through her quilt and sheets.

“What?”

“I need my bunny,” she replied.

“Oh,” he nodded understandingly and waited patiently until she found her bunny.

“Okay,” she said, once she’d extracted her bunny from a fold in the sheets, “I’m ready now.”

He cracked open the book and started to read.

Leonard read Avery the first chapter of The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe, and when he was done, he closed the book and set it on the nightstand.

“So what’d you think?” he asked Avery.

“It’s good,” she replied.

“Lisa liked it,” he told her, “I think she was your age when I read this to her.”

“Can we read more?” Avery asked.

“Tomorrow,” he replied, “Right now you have to go to sleep.”

He moved to get out of the bed, but Avery stopped him.

“Can I ask you somethin’?” she asked.

“Yeah,” Leonard replied, sitting back down.

“How come you talk about taking care of Lisa lots?” she asked, “How come you took care of her?”

“Well,” he said slowly, “When I was growing up, I didn’t exactly have a mom like you do.”

“Like how I don’t have a dad?”

“Right,” he nodded. That wasn’t exactly the whole story, but Avery didn’t need the whole story. Not yet, anyway, “My mom wasn’t around, so my dad was the one who had to take care of me and Lisa, but the thing is, my dad didn’t really want to be a dad. He thought it was too hard and he wasn’t very good at it, so he stopped trying. Someone still had to take care of Lisa — she was about your age then — and I was around so I decided I would.”

“Oh,” Avery replied, “Okay.” Then she added, “My mommy’s a good mommy, right?”

“Your mommy is the best mommy I’ve ever seen,” he answered, “Anything you need and she’ll be there. She’ll always be there for you.” He hesitated a moment and then added, “And so will I.”

Avery nodded.

“But now,” Leonard stood from the bed, “I need you to go to sleep.”

He leaned down to pull the quilt up over Avery’s legs and as he did, Avery sat up and wrapped her arms around Leonard in the tightest hug her tiny body could muster. Leonard pulled Avery closer to him, kissing the top of her head.

“I mean it,” he said when she released him, “If you ever need anything, I’ll always be here. I promise.”

The next few days were spent packing up the cabin. They had all definitely settled into the house in the few weeks they’d lived there, and it took a lot longer to move back out than they’d expected.

It took a while, but three days after Leonard and Avery had read the first chapter of The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, they were packed up and ready to head back to the city.

Most of the cabin’s temporary inhabitants were happy to be returning to their normal lives, all except one.

Avery had been having a particularly rough time with leaving the cabin, and the day they finally left was the worst of them all.

It hadn't been a good morning to begin with. First, there had been something cataclysmically wrong with one of Avery's socks that couldn’t be fixed with any amount of adjusting. Then she couldn't find a very specific little plastic doll with a very specific purple dress that she needed right at that very minute. By that point, she was dangerously close to a meltdown that Sara really didn’t want to have to deal with.

“I don’t wanna go,” Avery said adamantly, her sneakers lighting up as they stomped against the deck floor.

“Avery,” Sara said patiently, looking up at Avery on the wooden front porch from her spot on the driveway, “Lenny is waiting in the car for us. Let’s go.”

“I don’t wanna go!” she repeated.

“Don’t you wanna see your friends again?” Sara asked, aware that she was grasping at straws at this point, “When we get back, we can call Natalie and Seth and see if they wanna play.”

“No, I wanna stay here,” Avery shook her head.

“I’m sorry to tell you, babe, but you’re gonna be the only one here,” she told her, “Everyone else went home.”

“Nuh-uh.”

“Yep,” she told her, “We’re the only ones still here. C’mon, get in the car.”

Avery pouted up at her mother until Sara, tired of arguing, strode up the porch stairs and scooped her up. She squirmed frantically in her arms, but to no avail because in less than a minute, she was strapped into her carseat.

“I’m very upset, Mommy,” Avery said, crossing her arms over the buckles of her seat.

“I know,” Sara said understandingly, “I think you’ll be okay, though.”

They made it back home in just under an hour.

“We’re home!” Avery exclaimed once they were all out of the car.

“I thought you didn’t want to come home,” Sara said skeptically.

“All my toys are here,” she responded as if it was obvious.

“Okay,” Sara replied, shrugging in defeat.

“Never a dull moment?” Leonard commented, smirking at Sara as he walked around the car.

“No kidding,” she said, watching her daughter scramble up the stone steps of the apartment building. She turned to face Leonard, “You ready for this?” she asked him, “You ready to move in?”

“Yes,” he nodded, and then added, “Especially considering my other option is living with Cisco Ramon.”

“I can’t believe he’ll be living across the hall,” she laughed, intertwining her fingers with his as they walked into the apartment together, Avery running a few feet ahead of them.

“Mommy?” Avery said one morning, a few days after Leonard had finished moving in. She was sitting in a leather arm chair that had made its way into the living room from Leonard’s apartment at some point during the last week.

“Yes, Avery,” Sara replied.

“Where’d this chair come from?” she asked.

“That’s Lenny’s chair,” she answered.

“How come Lenny’s chair is here?”

“You remember what I said about how Len is gonna live with us, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, he brought some of his own stuff with him, like his clothes and some of his furniture.”

“Why?”

“Because now it’s part his house too,” she explained, “Is that okay?”

“Yeah!” Avery exclaimed, her eyes shining, “I love him here so much ‘cos yesterday he made me a grilled cheese shaped like a cat and it tasted so good!”

Sara was so grateful that Avery was taking everything so well. She knew her life would be a hell of a lot harder if Avery was unhappy, but she was taking everything better than Sara could have anticipated.

She wished everyone in her life would be as supportive. Her father had called her the night before to check in and Sara had decided to rip off the bandage and tell him about Leonard.

He had, unsurprisingly, not been pleased and the argument that had ensued ended with Sara shouting, “Oh my God, Dad, I don’t need you to vet the people I date!” and then hanging up the phone.

The front door opened and Avery, Leonard, and a little pink bike with shiny training wheels entered the apartment.

“I take it that didn’t go well,” Leonard said.

“You heard that?” Sara cringed.

“Yeah, we could hear you all the way down the hallway!” Avery chirped.

“Great,” Sara sighed. She put her phone down on the coffee table and attempted to maintain her composure.

“Lenny, let’s go!” Avery called behind her as she ran into her bedroom.

“Just a second,” he told her, sitting on the couch next to Sara.

 “So how did the bike-riding go?” she asked.

“She did a good job,” Leonard nodded, “She still won’t let me let go of the handle bars, but she didn’t scream when I tried this time.”

“Progress,” Sara said, pumping her fist in the air.

Her phone vibrated loudly against the glass table. Sara turned it over to see that Laurel was calling her.

“If my dad tattled on me to my sister, I’m gonna flip a —” she glanced at Avery to make sure she wasn’t paying attention before mouthing “— shit.”

“You should answer her,” Leonard advised her.

“Lenny!” Avery called again from her bedroom.

“What does she want?” Sara asked, glancing over her shoulder to Avery’s bedroom.

“I said I’d read more of the Narnia book to her, but I can stay here with you while you talk to your sister if you want.”

“No, it’s okay,” Sara waved him off, “Go read to Avie.”

He nodded and said, “Good luck with Laurel,” placing a comforting hand on her shoulder before heading into Avery’s bedroom.

That had been two days ago and in the time since, her sister had come around. Her father was still a work in progress, but Sara was trying to not let it be a big deal. She was happy and that’s all that mattered to her.

Well, almost.

There was one person in Sara’s life whose opinion mattered to her, and that person was coming to visit them for the first time since Sara moved.

“When’s she gonna get here?” Avery asked urgently, kicking her little legs against the leather chair.

“A couple minutes, honey,” Sara answered.

“Where’s Lenny?” she asked.

“He’s at the grocery store. He’ll be back home soon too. Relax.”

Avery had just woken up from a very long nap and now seemed to have an inexorable amount of energy.

She’d been tearing around the apartment in crazed circles until she crashed into a table and almost broke a lamp, at which point Sara sent her outside to run laps up and down the hallway. She grew bored of that after a while, so Sara encouraged her to play a game of her own invention called “See-How-Long-You-Can-Sit-In-That-Chair-Without-Getting-Up”.

“When can I get up?” Avery asked.

“You could get up now, but that you mean you lose,” she advised her, “But the game will end when she gets here.”

“But when’s she gonna get here?”

“A few minutes, honey, like I said.”

Sara went back into the kitchen, where she was putting the finishing touches on lunch — something her mother called a “crudité platter”, but was really just a lot of small food on a big plate, plus a peanut butter sandwich, pretzels, and hummus for Avery.

A few minutes later, there was a knock on the door and Sara heard Avery launch herself out of the chair.

“Avery, ask who it is!” Sara called from the kitchen, but to no avail because Avery was already undoing the chain and tugging the door open.

“Aunt Lissy!” Avery screeched and Sara entered the living room just in time to see Avery throw herself into Felicity Smoak’s arms.

“Avery!” Felicity explained, swinging her into her arms and whirling her through the air, “You’re getting so big!”

“I’m two whole inches taller than three feet,” she said matter-of-factly after Felicity put her down.

“Wow!” Felicity looked up and saw Sara walking towards her, “Sara!”

She crossed the distance between them and hugged her friend.

“Oh my God, you have no idea how much I missed you.”

“I missed you too!” Sara replied.

Felicity stepped away from her and looked around the apartment.

“Your place is so nice!” she exclaimed, “You’ve done such a good job with it!” She pointed to the leather chair Avery had been sitting in, “Is that new?”

“Uh, in a sense,” Sara responded nervously.

This was no regular visit with Felicity. Sara, after a long internal debate, had decided that she didn’t want her best friend to hear about Leonard in a text or over the phone or — even worse — from Laurel of her dad, whose personal opinions Leonard could prematurely decide what Felicity thought of the man Sara loved. She’d taken it upon her self to invite Felicity to Central City for the weekend so she could meet Leonard in person.

“Why don’t we sit?” Sara suggested, “I’ll bring out food in a minute; I'm just waiting on a few things.”

One of those things was Leonard himself. Like Sara had told Avery, Leonard was at the grocery store. She knew he’d be back in a few minutes, but the waiting was killing her.

Sara realized that Felicity’s opinion of Leonard mattered to her more than both Laurel’s and her father’s.

Five years ago — back when she was still pregnant with Avery — Felicity was the only person in her life who had been by her side since day one. Even her mother had been a little disappointed in Sara at first. Sure, she’d come around relatively quickly, but still, Felicity was the only one supporting her from the beginning when no one else — not even her parents or her sister — did.

Felicity had actually sat in the waiting room the whole time Sara was in labor and was the first person to hold Avery after she was born.

She was Sara’s best friend; her opinion mattered to her and Sara wasn’t sure what she’d do if Felicity didn’t like Leonard.

“So Avery,” Felicity said, pulling Sara back into the living room where they were all sitting, “What’s new with you now that you’re so grown up? What’s your favorite color?”

“Purple,” Avery replied as Felicity lifted her into her lap.

“Awesome! How about…what’s your favorite animal?”

“An elephant. I have ten in my room.”

“You have ten elephants?” Felicity responded.

“Uh-huh,” she nodded confidently.

“In your room?”

“Thirty!” Avery urgently corrected.

“Eighteen, thirty, same thing,” Felicity shrugged, “You have thirty elephants in your room. Are they real?”

“Yup!”

“You have thirty real elephants in your room? That’s awesome!”

“And now I’m gonna get three more and them I’m gonna have twenty-seven-hundred!”

“Well, that does not add up, but I’m happy for you,” Felicity replied. She turned to Sara, “How’ve you been? How’s work?”

“It’s good,” she shrugged, “I think the city’s still pretty spooked after the earthquake incident.”

“That’s right!” Felicity exclaimed, “I forgot to ask: how are you guys after that — I mean, obviously you’re okay; you’re right here, but did you get out of the city okay? Did you find a place to stay? How was Avie after?”

“Ave’s fine,” Sara answered, ending Felicity’s stream of questions, “And yeah, we had somewhere to stay — a place up in the mountains.”

“Really?” Felicity asked skeptically, “That sounds kinda sketchy.”

“No, it was fine,” Sara reassured her, “It’s—”

“It’s Lenny’s house,” Avery interrupted, “and he hid it from us ‘cos he didn’t want a lotta people there.”

“Who’s Lenny?” Felicity asked, turning to Sara.

“Uh, well, he’s—” Sara was cut off yet again as the door to the apartment opened and Leonard walked in with a plastic grocery bag in each hand.

“Felicity,” Sara said, jumping off her chair and walking over to where Leonard was standing, “This is Leonard — my boyfriend.”

It's important to note that this story was supposed to have eight chapter and now it's slated to have 18. Whoops. Also, I'm thinking (read: still very on the fence) about introducing Avery's biological dad into the story. Would you guys like for him to be a new character that I create or someone we've seen on Legends or Arrow? Let me know and keep in mind that I may ultimately decide to not include him at all.

[ruthlessbookfish]

Have a Heart by Jodi Watters

 November 9

My Review

Have a Heart was a funny story, with some angst sprinkled in. It never got too angsty, for me. Tessa and her Ex had such a funny conversation after the whole hoopla. I also really enjoyed the way Jason struggled with his feelings. I kept waiting for them both to realize the twist!

I read an Arc

Title: Have a Heart

Series: Love Happens #4

Author: Jodi Watters

Genre: Contemporary Romance Release Date: November 9, 2018

Blurb

If he had one, she'd be the woman he'd give it to.

A runaway bride, searching for happily ever after.

A Navy SEAL, who doesn’t believe in such things.

A bar, in the middle of nowhere, and fate, who’s been awaiting this day. 

Tessa

When I left my groom at the altar, I didn’t care where I went, or who I met along the way. 

When I walked into a roadside bar in Nowhere, California, I wasn’t planning on staying.

When I sat down beside Jason Reynolds, I had no idea who he really was. 

My world turned upside down.

Now all I want to do is save him.

Jason

I tried to ignore her. The beautiful train wreck who’d crashed my pity party.   

I tried to fight temptation. Her sweet smile and smart mouth threatened my misery.

I tried to walk away. My blackened soul didn’t deserve her bright, hopeful light.

My team calls me Tin Man for good reason.

Love has no place in my life.

ADD TO GOODREADS

Purchase Links

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Excerpt

         I’m a wisher. Always have been.

As a young girl, I’d stand before my closed bedroom door, wishing a Barbie Dream House would appear on the other side.

“No way,” my dad would sneer, a cigarette between his lips. “Not unless I hit the ponies tonight.” Despite his habit of gambling our grocery money, neither ever happened.  

As a gangly teenager, I’d stand in front of a mirror, wishing for bigger boobs and a fuller bush because I’d just seen Candace Michaels naked in the locker room after third period P.E. class. You could say I was stunted in comparison. My only solace was knowing those envious breasts would sag one day.

As a community college graduate, I stood before the liquidated store I’d just purchased thanks to a small business loan, providing employment to the two most important people in my life, wishing to God I’d always be able to pay their salaries. Theirs before mine, it turned out, on occasion. No matter. There was currency in independence.

I also wished I could twirl a baton, participate in a flash mob, and eat cake every day without gaining weight. But, as my dad always said, I could wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which one filled up first.

His best and only advice.  

Through it all, I’ve stared at nineteen different sheets of paper, always questioning what I’d written, wishing many times over I was a poet. That I carried within me a grace to evoke tender emotion, along with the guts to expel the toxic ones, using nothing but a pen and the alphabet. Oftentimes I missed the mark, yet I sent the messages anyway.

Yes, I’m an old-school letter writer. A throwback to another generation. It’s not by choice, believe me. This obsession started years ago, and I only write to one person.

Him.

Lately, I’ve avoided it. There’s been nothing to say.

But now, in the middle of the night, I suddenly have plenty to say. To write.

The man lying in bed next to me gives me pause. I know he’s asleep before I turn to look, his breathing slow, but his body tense. Ready for the unexpected. A learned habit that might never leave him. There’s something precious in seeing him sleep, the weight of a nation briefly lifted. In repose, he becomes more man than machine, despite himself.

More real. More reachable.

Careful not to jostle the blankets, I slide the remote from his slack hand and turn up the volume on an informercial to cover the sound of my movements. No easy feat, given he has catlike reflexes and can hear footsteps two doors down. Smiling, my heart expands. Those are only a few of the many skills that make him straight-up cool, in and out of a uniform.

So far, so good, the light from the TV guiding me as I crawl out of bed and grab paper and pen from the dresser. Not bothering to cover myself, I stand in the same spot and write what’s in my heart, the words clambering to come out. It’s all I can do to make my cursive scroll legible. Most of my letters are like this. Born of furious inner thoughts.  

       Dear... I begin, then pause on the next looping letter.

I always write friend.

The safety of our anonymity now gone, I write his name instead, personally addressing him for the first time. He feels like two different men to me, both of whom I love, but neither of which I deserve.

       It’s odd to use your name. I might never get used to that. I might never write you another letter either. It feels wrong now, as I look at the face of a man who’s been my sounding board, my guiding light, my surprise of a lifetime. Soft with sleep, his burdens at rest, it’s a face that proves every sappy love song right. Love—and let’s be honest, a daily dose of sex—really is all you need. And pizza.

       Love, sex, and pizza. The ultimate threesome. But I digress.

       Everybody has one, you know. A love story. Even the non-believers, one of which is the man embedded within my soul. Some of the stories are good, some bad. Some of them, for the very lucky, are even great. Those are the ones that last, defying a low survival rate.  

       I’ve always wished mine—I mean, ours—to be a lovely tale that played out like a metaphoric fable, where hummingbirds sipped nectar from orange blossoms on dew-dampened spring mornings, our love growing from the softest flutter of paper-thin wings, to a steady beat so sure and strong, you could tell the time and temperature by it. What appeared outwardly fleeting could easily withstand the rigors of Mother Nature. Bring on the hurricane. We’ll wait for the rainbow.  

       Go ahead. Laugh your fine, cynical ass off. I was thirteen when I dreamt that gem up, and while you might be hero material to me and many others, you’re no fairy tale prince. God knows, I’m no princess, so I’m laughing right along with you. We’re the sorriest pair of hummingbirds ever.

       But the thing is… I don’t care how it really happened.

        Just that it did.

I continue to bleed words of love, and then regret, onto the page, desperate to say everything I need to. Confess my sins the only way I know how.

“Hey.”

The rustling of sheets interrupts me, and I quickly slide the paper into the drawer, reaching for his discarded t-shirt at the same time.

Slipping it on, I cover my nakedness and grin at the scowl that crosses his gorgeous face. Rolling to his side, his unguarded eyes beckon me.      

“C’mere.” Patting the bed, his voice is rough with sleep.

Without hesitation, I let him envelop me in his strong, capable arms.

Nuzzling my hair, he asks the question I’m prepared for. “What were you doing? It’s zero dark thirty.”

“Nothing.” Burying my face in his neck, I kiss him and fight tears, feeling far more secure than I should. The taste of his skin is achingly familiar, and I let my lips linger. The privilege, I know, is temporary. “Just shaking off a dream.”

“Mmm,” he rumbles, and it’s the sexiest sound I’ve ever heard. “A good one or bad?”

The answer is complicated.

“Both,” I finally admit, the tears falling unbidden. I hide them, and the darkness allows me my privacy. “Tighter,” I whisper, and he just seems to know, the band of his arms flexing.

My breathing is shallow, but my love is deep, and I selfishly ask for more. “Tighter. Please.”   

Screw hummingbirds and orange blossoms.  

      This is the love story—the sad, but true story—I’m meant to be in.

Also Available

AMAZON US / UK / CA / AU

Free in Kindle Unlimited

AMAZON US / UK / CA / AU

Free in Kindle Unlimited

AMAZON US / UK / CA / AU

Free in Kindle Unlimited

<img border="0" data-original-height="789" data-original-width="940" height="335" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Wu22GQ2sPRQ/W-GvwTQGWgI/AAAAAAAANgc/Xi

[officialviviennui]

Hurt...

I told him things I haven't told anyone... Burying my secrets in his touch... I trusted him not to hurt me. I told him that no one had touched me like that in ten years... and it was true. He touched me like I was soft and special and worthy of love and dignity and respect. The way my last love had touched me. It brought back memories... of a time when I found someone who put the fight back into me by just giving me space and showing me love. I explained that I had been hurting so badly because everyone who touches me, right now, wants to hurt me... Doctors. My husband. Even the other guys I had met... He said "touch is so important." Though I was pretty sure he invited me there to use me and hurt me and ridicule me (mmm... fat girls... the fatter the better)... It was what I expected at that point and didn't care. I didn't want anything from him... and I still don't. I didnt want to like him... because I went into it knowing he was gross and horrible and I wanted to be treated that way. I went to him gross and horrible because that's how he was going to treat me anyway and he didn't deserve me at my best. But then something weird happened... We both changed somehow. Something broke down the walls and we were just two hurt lonely people being real with each other. And I didn't want to be mean to him... And he didn't want to be mean to me... So I told him the truth about myself. I think it excited him to be "the other man". But I wasn't pretending. I just didn't want him to make a choice without knowing all of the details. I tend to believe people are... Good. Some guys would feel bad about that no matter what the circumstances. He was game. I wanted to kiss him. I had told him that I could tell it a guy could make me cum just by kissing him... So he stuck his tongue out and licked my lips like a vagina (which I found adorable and hilarious)... I smiled and said "Ok. I get it. You can eat pussy... Now kiss me like you MEAN it!" And we kissed... it was the best kiss of my life. Not because it was sexy or skilled... We connected deeply. I'm a cynic. I don't believe in soul mates. I don't believe in love at first sight. I don't believe in happily ever after. But I had all of these flooding feelings... confusing... We kissed for maybe an hour in his bed... But it felt like an eternity... and I looked up and him and he looked at me... We smiled at each other... This wasn't just sex. Something was happening and we both felt it... And he recoiled from me. Thats when I knew that we were just two sad lonely people... tearing down the things we pretend to be and being real. So, I knew it had to end that night. I have nothing to give him. Nothing. But I didn't want anything from him. And I didn't want to ever hurt him. So... I did what I do best. I made it weird. I set up the stage for my grand exit... planning to burn it all down to keep him safe from me. Because I'm a monster and a parasite... and I belong to someone else (until he can officially sign away the title and get rid of me). I was expecting that kiss to be hot and passionate. It was... Love. And I wasn't expecting it. I didn't go there for that. I told husband about the "kiss me to see" thing... And he excitedly kissed me. I didn't feel Love. I felt... Posession... Desire... Jealousy... Rage... but no love. No fire. No... Forever. I've been with my angry, abusive gaslighting husband since I was 21. I've had so many guys "fall in love" with me and the idea of me... but they all wanted to own me. This guy... Saw ME. My strength. My weakness. My fire. My love. I'm not delusional about what happened. But I wasnt expecting husband to get so hostile about it. So... fucking violently angry and upset. To tell me that I didn't feel what I felt... that I held the guy hostage "with my crazy"... that he doesn't like to fantasize about another man LOVING "My Wife". ... And I knew I made the right choice. Burn the bridge. Save him. Walk away. Save yourself. ... The next week was the hardest... Husband was especially cruel. Possessive. Demeaning. Grabby. Telling me all sorts of lies... Fucking with my head... When one person insists on being the only person in your world... Cuts you off from everything and keeps you "safe"... you trust their worldview. The day I tried to escape... I couldn't. No one would help me. I tried! I did all of the things you're supposed to do. But it became quickly clear that no one intended to help me... and the guy... who I kissed and left behind... The woman on the crisis line was baiting me like I was trying to get with him... Telling me my "stories" matter (they are TRUE!)... Asking me who my "boyfriend" is... I. Am. Trying. To. Escape. This. Abusive. Asshole. Please. Help. Me. Nope. They asked if I would call the police if he made me feel unsafe. I said I would. I lied. I won't. I never did with my Mom, either. I fucked it all up. All of it. I did this to myself. This is obviously what I want. ... And I explained to my husband that I learned I'm a monogamous person. That this "open" and "poly" shit he's been into isn't... Me. I've been devoted to him, monogamously, for like ten years now. Well, the same day... The lady he's dating tells him she's also monogamous. So he goes on a rampage because he's been rejected by both of the women in his life... for the same reasons and on the same day. Cue... Psycho shit. ... And yeah. I'm aware I'm posting this publicly. I'm aware he will read it. There is nothing in here that I haven't said to him directly first. ... So now my heart is broken because the man I gave all of myself to... is attacking in every possible way while our relationship is dying. He has started punching shit... and looks at me with murderous rage in his eyes. All I can think is... Fine... Kill me. Just do it. I won't fight back. Go ahead! I won't call for help anymore. I won't try. Just... Fucking do it already! ... I woke up today deep in my feelings. We let our old car go yesterday... I drove him around in that damn thing until it literally fell apart. It was like watching a chapter of my life burn to the ground. People wonder... Why stay in a relationship with someone who hurts you and enjoys it? Love. Duty. Seeing that they love you more when you're what they want you to be. Trying to be worthy of that love. Trying to be a person who deseves the Love they withhold. ... "I'm not abusing you." he said. Weird. That's exactly what my Mom used to say. ... I will NEVER again be the sad pathetic woman wrapped around a suitcase crying in the pouring rain because she thinks she's going to escape and people in charge of helping will help her... I will NEVER try to get help again. Ever. I'm going to be the big brave badass who can take hits and keep coming back for more. The truth is... I'm fucking pathetic and it isn't sexy or cute or fun. But at least it's REAL. And a broken heart means I have a heart to break... (and if you don't believe me... Fuck you! I've taken audio of how my husband treats me. Its illegal wiretapping... But I need to know it's Fucking REAL. I need to know it's REAL.)