#molly lives fest

[jmagnabo92]

GGSB Fest 2024 Day 1 - Surprising Recipes

@goodgodfathersiriusblack

For Prompt 1 - Cooking Together

When Sirius can't sleep, he likes to cook. This time, he doesn't have to cook alone.

AO3

***

One of the things that Sirius dislikes about the Order living in his childhood home is that the cooking is always done by Molly.  It’s not that he doesn’t appreciate her efforts, especially since his skills are more than a little rusty after so many years in Azkaban, but he kind of misses cooking.  

Knowing that he can’t really sleep anyway, he figures that the only time he’d be allowed to cook is when everyone else is asleep.  Thus, heading down in the middle of the night, he starts taking out various foods and spices.  He’s not really sure what he’d like to make, but he does know that Mrs. Potter always said the best meals were made without a plan or recipe.  

He wasn’t always sure that he believed that, but she did make the best meals that Sirius ever tasted (not even Hogwarts could compete), so he tries not to doubt her.  He’s sure that it’s the labor of love that she always put into it.  

He begins with a pot, the base, and starts chopping up ingredients.  He doesn’t get very far before he hears, “Sirius?”

He turns and isn’t surprised to see that it’s Harry.  His godson, naturally, is awake because he can’t sleep either.  This makes sense given that he’s only a few weeks away from his most traumatic event – getting kidnapped at the end of the tournament and witnessing Voldemort’s return – and nightmares make sense.  

“Hey, kid,” Sirius states.  “Come on in.”

Harry doesn’t hesitate to move beside him.  “What are you doing cooking at one in the morning?”

“Oh, well, I appreciate Molly’s cooking, naturally, but I, er, I miss cooking myself.”

“I didn’t realize you cooked,” Harry says, eyes curious.  “Kind of figured that you wouldn’t have been much of a cook.  My aunt always said that cooking was not a man’s work…” 

He trails off as if there’s more to that than suggesting a stereotype but doesn’t want to tell Sirius what it is. 

Sirius hums and lets it go.  “Well, your grandmother always insisted that your dad and I know how to take care of ourselves, which included being able to cook for ourselves.”

“My grandmother?” Harry asks, eyes wide.

Sirius is aware that Harry probably doesn’t know much about his family, but it always jars him to hear it from Harry.  

He clears his throat.  “Yes, your Potter grandmother, Euphemia.  She liked to go by Effie, but I always called her mum since my mother –”

“Is a horrible hag?” Harry offers, before looking terrified that maybe he shouldn’t have said that.

Sirius laughs.  “Exactly.”

“So, you were close to her, then?”

Sirius nods.  “I was really close to her.  I love your grandfather, too, Fleamont – we called him Monty.  Well, others called him Monty, I called him ‘dad’.  Anyway, I spent a lot of time cooking with Effie since the first summer after first year.”

“What was she like?” Harry asks, as he reaches for some of the ingredients to chop up.  Clearly, he wanted to help cook with him as they chat.

Sirius hums as he, too, focuses on the gumbo that he’s starting to make.  There’re so many things that he could tell Harry about his grandparents that he clearly doesn’t know.  

Thus, Sirius just starts talking.

As they begin cooking, he tells him about summers at the Potters, learning how to cook at Effie’s side, and playing games with Monty.  He tells him about all of the things that Effie and Monty loved to do and teach him and James.  Including the recipes and cooking skills that they’re using right now.

He Interrupts the stories with directions when it comes to the dish their making, Harry follows the directions well and after a few false-starts with questions, starts asking for details of everything.  

“One of your grandmother’s favorite things when it comes to cooking is just letting things go with the flow, she always had ideas of ingredients, but never a recipe that she wanted to follow.  It made each dish a little bit of a surprise.”

“That’s so… different to what I thought cooking was meant to be,” Harry comments as he stirs the stew they’ve created.  

“Oh?” Sirius questions.  “How so?”

“Oh, er, my aunt always said that cooking had to be followed to the letter of the recipe, never altered.”

Given what little he knows about the Dursleys, and Petunia, in particular, he’s surprised to learn that Harry would’ve learned cooking from her.  

Oh wait.

It’s a woman’s work – not a man’s work.  

That’s what she had taught him.  Just another way to make him feel inferior.  Merlin, he hates the Dursleys.

He coughs.  He doesn’t want to ruin the comfort that they all have had tonight by getting intense about the Dursleys.  “Well, I like your grandmother’s methods better.”

“Me too,” Harry says, grinning.  “Especially since it was a lot smoother, just throwing things in as we like instead of watching the clock and being extremely precise with the ingredients.  Plus, it still smells good.”

Sirius grins.  “Of course it does because we made it with love.”

Harry laughs.  “Made it with love?”

“It’s what your grandmother used to say,” Sirius offers.  

“She sounds really lovely.”

“She was,” Sirius says, smiling softly.  “It feels so unfair that you never got to meet her or Monty.  They would’ve adored you.”

“Yeah?” Harry asks.  “You think?”

“Oh, of course,” Sirius as he turns the pot off and dishes out the stew that they created.  “They tried for many years to get James – he was a miracle to them – and James always teased about having a quidditch team of kids to give his parents a chance to dote on all of the grandchildren they’d have.”

“Dad wanted to be like the Weasleys?” Harry questions, eyes bright as they sit at the table to eat the stew.  “Ever since I met them, I wondered what it might’ve been like to be a part of such a big family.  To have brothers to look out for me and tease me… I’ve wanted it more than anything.”

“Aw, kid, I’m sorry that those dreams didn’t pan out – yours, theirs or your dad’s – but it is nice that at least you have been welcomed into the Weasley family,” Sirius states.  “They may drive me a little crazy at times, but I do appreciate that they care about you.”

Harry hums as he takes the first bite of stew and lets out a pleased sound.  “They’ve been great, honestly, but they’re not – not the same as mum and dad.”

Sirius smiles, softly at him.  “No, I mean, they can’t be.  It’s never going to be the same, even as your godfather, I could never replace your dad.  I wouldn’t want to, but saying that, I hope that you know that I love you as my kid, you’re my godson, you mean the world to me and I haven’t done the best job, but I –”

“You’ve done great!” Harry insists, eyes wet.  “You literally wrote to me every day and – and you lived in a cave and ate rats… everything at the Dursleys has been better since your first letter that I used to threaten them – without you, they might’ve locked me up again…”

“They might’ve done what now?” Sirius asks, dropping his spoon in his bowl.  “When – when did they –”

“It’s not important because they aren’t going to do it now,” Harry states, quickly, looking down at his bowl.  “You know that they haven’t been great – you were there, checking on me the night I ran away…”

Sirius opens his mouth to argue that it absolutely does matter, but Harry’s looking up at him, eyes wide and worried, and Sirius knows that getting angry isn’t the answer.  He takes a deep breath.  

“I love you, kid, you deserve better than that, but … I’ll let it go because, right now, you’re here with me and they can’t touch you.”

“Thank you,” Harry mutters, softly.

“But I want you to tell me if they ever even consider doing such a thing again.  I don’t care about using magic outside of school or not – I will teach you a new instant method to talk and I will be there fending off the ministry if I have to, alright?  You should never be locked up by your so-called family.”

Harry nods, solemnly and it’s quiet for a minute.

Sirius realizes that things got too intense, and he needs to dial it back.  “So, what do you think of our efforts?”

Harry looks up and smiles.  “It’s brilliant.  Best stew ever – you should make it for everyone one night.”

“You mean, we, don’t you?” Sirius questions.  “I couldn’t have done it without you.”

Harry flushes.  “I just did what you told me to do.”

“Nah, you added your own spin to it, too.  Cooking is an art and you helped me create a work of art.”

He can tell that Harry’s quite pleased.  “Alright, then.  How about we make it again tomorrow night for everyone?”

Sirius grins, “Sounds like plan, kid.”

“Brilliant!”

“It sure is.”

[lippskinn]

Blackinnon Fest 2024 | Day 5

Word Count: 297

Prompt: Rings

Marlene had fidgeted with her engagement ring for the majority of their conversation. The piece of jewellery was the last reminder of Sirius and the promise he had given her. She knew, intellectually, that Sirius was not dead. However, pretending that he had died felt easier than having to face his betrayal.

His actions had made Marlene an outcast at practically every gathering. The pitiful glances they gave her because she was the girlfriend of the mass murderer as if, somehow, it were contagious. She hated how they prefaced each sentence with "I know it's not your fault" or "Who would have known" whenever the conversation shifted towards Sirius, which it eventually always did.

She had blamed the circumstances of the war, his upbringing, her own gullibility, and the Order to find fault in anyone other than Sirius. She had cursed Voldemort, Dumbledore, the Ministry, and everyone who had taken him away, but her fits of rage could not bring him back. In fact, he might as well have died that Halloween night.

"I cannot believe you're still wearing that thing after what happened," Molly caught Marlene's attention, "he betrayed everyone. Including you." Marlene rolled her eyes. If she had gotten a knut every time someone had asked her to take the ring off, she would have been filthy rich. For some reason, it made people uncomfortable. "It's just a ring," Marlene shrugged. "It's a dead weight. That's what it is."

Molly slapped her thighs and went to get the whistling teakettle from the stove. In the meantime, Marlene let her eye wander around the living room: the walls were plastered with drawings from Molly's children, happy family photos and handmade decorations. Marlene bit her nails absent-mindedly.

"You're doing it again", Molly reminded her gently and poured more tea into her cup. "You should finally start treating him like the cheater he is, and not like your dead husband."

[hpsaffics]

🏳️‍🌈 WLW Wed: Pride 🏳️‍🌈

A biweekly HP femslash rec list made by the lovely members of the HP SAFFICS (18+) discord server. See all previous rec lists in the WLW Library.

Currently: Pride Previously: Flowers (see list)

—

🎉 Long (>10k) 🎉

Unwritten by @pcandaa, @fantalfart [Pansy/Ginny, M, 83.2k] WITH ART!

In which Pansy tries to figure out whether she deserves love and forgiveness while dancing around her feelings for a certain red-headed Quidditch player.

Play Me Like A Love Song by @writcraft, @impasse-trash, @owlpostart [Wilhelmina/Minerva, E, 67.7k] WITH ART!

Minerva McGonagall doesn’t believe in love at first sight, which is why her instant attraction to drag king Wilhelmina ("Will") Grubbly-Plank is so unexpected. War tears apart the wizarding world and as one battle ends Minerva and Will must fight once more, this time for the lives of their friends on Little Compton Street. A love story spanning five decades defined by music, laughter and tears, in which love is not always easy, but it’s always worth fighting for.

the girl who lived (again) by @ink-splotch [trans!Harry/Ginny, G, 10.3k]

Molly tried her best. When Harry had told them, Arthur had asked excitedly, "is this a Muggle thing?" Hermione had hurried out a "no!" and a frantic history of gender diversity in the wizarding world. "It's just that I'm a girl," Harry had said...

—

🎊 Medium (3-10k) 🎊

Rosmerta's Special Brew by @lumosatnight [Rosmerta/Andromeda, T, 6.0k]

This is a story about how Madam Rosmerta, of the Three Broomsticks fame, became the unofficial Queer Crisis Counselor for Hogwarts School of Witchcraft, Wizardry, and Wixenry. Or, 5 times she helped other baby gays + 1 time they helped her.

strawberry hair, porcelain skin by nudestockings [Luna/Ginny, M, 4.6k]

Ginny Weasley-Potter comes into her own after being with Harry Potter for twenty years. She's afraid and she's uncertain, but she knows one thing: she loves Luna Lovegood more than anything else. Ginny only hopes she will love her just as much.

A Kind of Magic Spell by @gracerene [Susan/Hermione, E, 3.4k]

Hermione and Susan nobly volunteer to conduct a sex magic ritual. Oh, the sacrifice.

—

🥳 Short (<3k) 🥳

Dass du glücklich bist (your happiness) by @eleonorebirk [Minerva/Poppy, T, 2.4k]

When a student comes out to Minerva, it reminds her of coming out to her parents and inspires her to change the present

They Bought A Sports Bar by @fw00shy [Cho/Ginny, T, 2.3k]

Ginny buys a sports bar (run-down biker pub, really) and ropes Cho into helping out. They're just business partners, so why does everyone else think they're more?

If It Isn't Her by space_mermaid [Lavender/Millicent, E, 2.0k]

After breaking up with her on-again/off-again boyfriend for the umpteenth time, Lavender heads to a dyke bar. She runs into some familiar characters.

Fleur Shows Her Colours by @lipzlipzlipz [Fleur/Hermione, T, 614]

Hermione comes home early from work and Fleur has something to show her

An Innocent Question by @sansigma [Andromeda/Molly, G, 500]

“Excuse me, I just… I have to ask. How old are you?” The girl looks so painfully earnest, with large brown eyes and a rainbow flag messily painted on her cheek, that Andromeda has to laugh. A second later Molly joins in, her laughter warm as a Weasley jumper.

—

🌈 Want more Pride fics? 🌈

@hpqueerfest | AO3

@hppridefest2023 | AO3

@careofmagicalshippers Pride Party | AO3

@hp-fanworks-central Out of the Cupboard Fest | AO3 & AO3

@thethreebroomsticksficfest Pride Fest | AO3

Tags on AO3: Queer Themes | Coming Out | Gender Identity

WLW Library: Tumblr | Tag | AO3

[schmem14]

...Aaaaand that's a wrap!

31 ficlets 31 days 31 kinks 12 dead doves 32,271 words 30 pairings 27 RARE pairs

Happy Halloween, and thanks to ALL who cheered me on on one way or another! Thanks to @hpkinktober for curating the prompt list and hosting the fest!

***for author's favorites

Schmem_14's HP Kinktober Masterlist:

Day 1: Devil's Snare Summary: Punishments for bad behaviour don't seem to work on Neville. Professor Snape decides to have a go.  Pairing: Severus Snape/Neville Longbottom CW: Dead Dove, Do Not Eat, DH AU, Underage (17), Rape/Non-con (No penetration), Spanking/Whipping, Bondage, Masturbation, Orgasm Denial/Edging Rating: E

Day 2: Orgasm Denial Summary: Colin Creevey lost interest in Harry ages ago. Now that the tables have turned, what's it going to take to get Colin to want him? Pairing: Harry Potter/Colin Creevey CW: Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Dark!Harry, Non-con/Rape, Bondage/Shibari, Imperius curse, Jealousy, Angst, Implied blackmail Rating: E

Day 3: Werewolves Summary: Sirius visits a brothel that specializes in dangerous tastes... he doesn't expect to fall in love. Pairing: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin CW: Edwardian AU, Brothels, Prostitution/Sex Work, Implied bestiality, Dubious consent, UHEA Rating: M

Day 4: Cockwarming Summary: Lucius tires of Draco's entitlement. Harry offers him the perfect revenge. Pairing: Lucius Malfoy/Harry Potter, Minor Draco/Harry, Narcissa/Lucius CW: Pseudo-incest, Infidelity Rating: E

Day 5: Firewhisky Summary: Bill asks Ron to look after Fleur while he's away. Little does Ron know what that entails. Pairing: Ron Weasley/Fleur Delacour Weasley CW: Pseudo-Incest, Lactation kink, Consensual Infidelity, Drinking Rating: M

Day 6: Collaring*** Summary: Voldemort celebrates his victory by acquiring a new pet. Pairing: Voldemort/Rubeus Hagrid CW: Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Voldemort Wins AU, MCD, Pet Play, Rape/Non-con, Dubious Consent, Sex Slave, Trauma, Grief, Whipping, Horcruxes, Brainwashing, First Person POV Rating: E

Day 7: Sex Pollen Summary: Percy accidentally knocks over a fungus planter on his way to break up a fight between Oliver and Marcus. Pairing: Percy Weasley/Oliver Wood/Marcus Flint CW: Dubious consent, Possible Underage (17/18), Infidelity, Threesome, Frotting, Masturbation Rating: M

Day 8: Pensieve Summary: Harry has strange dreams and memories that don't feel like his. Weirder still is his sudden craving for MILF... Pairing: Harry Potter/Molly Weasley CW: Dark!Molly, Manipulation, Gaslighting, Memory-tampering, Unreliable narrator, Dubious consent, Arthur dies AU Rating: M

Day 9: Omegaverse*** Summary: Ron has good reasons for keeping Hermione out of public spaces. She convinces him to go out, just this once... Pairing: Ron Weasley/Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy CW: Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Rape/non-con, A/B/O, dubious consent, watersports, Infidelity, Threesome, Breeding Kink, Cuckolding Rating: E

Day 10: Mandrakes*** Summary: Romilda and Colin find Harry in a compromising position. Pairing: Harry Potter/Romilda Vane, Harry Potter/Colin Creevey CW: Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Rape/Non-con (oral sex only), Somnophilia, Colin lives AU, Hogwarts Eighth-year, Underage (17) Rating: E

Day 11: Dragons/Dragon Eggs Summary: Hagrid was born to be bred by a dragon. Pairing: Rubeus Hagrid/Norwegian Ridgeback CW: Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Breeding Kink, Dubious consent, Monsterfucking, Egg-smuggling, Object-insertion, Thievery, Blood Rating: E

Day 12: Age Play Summary: The voice in Luna's head urges her to comfort Xenophilius in his time of need. Pairing: Luna Lovegood/Xenophilius Lovegood CW: Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Underage, Father/Daughter Incest, Dubious consent, Aging potion, Suicidal thoughts, Blood, First time Rating: M

Day 13: Bathing Summary: Myrtle's crush on Draco escalates beyond anything she thought possible Pairing: Myrtle Warren/Draco Malfoy CW: Non-consensual voyeurism, Dubious consent, Underage (16), Plasmic Penetration Rating: M

Day 14: Voyeurism Summary: Harry has something Horace wants and he'll trade it for his freedom. Be careful what you wish for, Harry... Pairing: Horace Slughorn/Multiple, Harry/Draco CW: Underage (implied), Non-consensual Voyeurism, Unethical behaviour, Masturbation, Bath sex Rating: M

Day 15: Owl Post*** Summary: Percy receives inappropriate notes from an anonymous admirer. What would his girlfriend say? Pairing: Percy Weasley/Marcus Flint CW: Stalking, Harassment, Watersports (mentioned), Infidelity Rating: E

Day 16: Wings Summary: Fleur feels uneasy about her upcoming marriage to Bill. She goes to him for reassurance. Pairing: Fleur Delacour/Bill Weasley, Fleur/Multiple CW: Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Rape/Non-con, Whump, Gang Rape, Violence, Canon Divergent AU (Fleur and Bill wait until after the war to get married), Dark Bill, Dark Weasleys and Harry, Dosing/Potions, UHEA Rating: M

Day 17: Closets*** Summary: Percy is trying to lay low at the ministry, but Yaxley has other plans. Pairing: Percy Weasley/Corban Yaxley CW: Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Rape/Non-con, Dubious consent, Lust potion, Extortion, Fuck or Die (sort of), Deathly Hallows AU Rating: M

Day 18: School Uniform*** Summary: There's a new witch in school... Or, Malfoy tries a new look, and it captures Harry and Ron's attention. Pairing: Harry Potter/Ron Weasley/Draco Malfoy CW: None! Rating: M

Day 19: Dungeons Summary: Argus Filch finally has permission to whip rule breakers. His first two targets are already lined up... Pairing: Argus Filch/Fred Weasley, Argus Filch/George Weasley CW: Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Rape/Non-con, Staff/Student, OOTP AU, Whipping, Bondage, Masturbation, Whump Rating: E

Day 20: Breeding Summary: Hermione comes to Arthur with a problem only he can help with. Pairing: Hermione Granger/Arthur Weasley CW: Pseudo Incest, Infidelity, Lactation kink, Pregnancy Rating: M

Day 21: Brooms Summary: George pulls his most devious prank ever on Harry... Pairing: George Weasley/Harry Potter CW: Dubious consent, Public indecency, public masturbation, humiliation, pranks, dildos. Rating: M

Day 22: Legilimency*** Summary: Draco has been craving pastry from Harry's bakery for ages... if only he could pluck the courage to go inside Pairing: Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy CW: None Rating: E

Day 23: Monsterfucking Summary: Lavender has a plan to seduce the hottest teacher in the school... Pairing: Lavender Brown/Firenze CW: Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Dubious Consent, Consensual Non-Consent, Fuck AND Die, MCD, Lust potion, Non-consensual dosing, Teacher/Student relationship, stomach bulges Rating: E

Day 24: Power Imbalance*** Summary: Cormac has a thing for his assistant. He’s delighted when she plays along… Pairing: Cormac McLaggen/Hermione Granger CW: Employer/Employee, Dubious Consent, Extortion Rating: M

Day 25: Portkey Summary: Draco leaves his dildo on the wall of the shower... he hopes his new flatmate finds it and uses it. Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter CW: Inappropriate Use of Portkey, Exhibitionism Rating: E

Day 26: Bondage*** Summary: How long can Marcus resist Percy when he's always such a bossy tease? Pairing: Marcus Flint/Percy Weasley CW: Secretary (Unethical relationship), BDSM, Cock cage/chastity belt, Butt plugs, Orgasm denial Rating: E

Day 27: Room of Requirement Summary: It's too bad the Room of Requirement can't give Sirius what he REALLY wants Pairing: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin CW: drug use (marijuana), UST, unrequited love Rating: M

Day 28: Rememberall Summary: Bellatrix really likes to fuck Longbottoms up Pairing: Bellatrix Black Lestrange/Neville Longbottom CW: Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Rape/Non-con, Torture, Bondage, Fisting, Memory Charms, orgasm denial, blood, WHUMP Rating: E

Day 29: Knotting Summary: Ron wakes to a comforting presence in bed. Pairing: Ron/Hermione, Minor Harry/Draco CW: Somnophilia, Dubious Consent, Werewolf *see additional spoiler tags in end notes Rating: E

Day 30: Formalwear Summary: Harry spots someone lovely at the Malfoy's annual New Year's Eve Gala, and he can't resist... Pairing: Harry Potter/Narcissa Black Malfoy CW: Dubious Consent, Pregnancy, Manipulation, Toxic Relationships Rating: M

Day 31: Object Insertion*** Summary: Arthur receives a tip from Ron about a hidden room at Malfoy Manor and decides to have a look... Pairing: Arthur Weasley/Lucius Malfoy CW: Infidelity, COS Canon-compliant, Come as Lube, Dry orgasm Rating: E

[ladiesofhpfest]

Friday Fic Recs!

It's time for Friday Fic Recs with the Ladies of HP Fest! This week we've got seven recs for you to dig into over the weekend!

Fic Recs for Friday the 27th of October, including part of the summary from the author. This week, all our recs came from our ask box. You can also submit recs on Discord. Come join us!

slipped (and said something sort of like your name) by @pebblysand. Leading lady: Ginny Weasley. M, 8.2k words. Summary: Harry, Ginny, the kids, and the way they deal with the impact that Tom has had on their lives.

come, my darling, homeward bound by @meowkittykenma/azumarheart. Leading lady: Molly Weasley. G, 3.5k words. Summary: Molly Weasley is the loving adult figure Harry needs but has never had. Also sprinkled in with a headcanon that Molly has a divination infused maternal instinct.

Orchids on the Black Lake by @maria-de-salinas. Leading lady: Minerva McGonagall. T, 3.2k words. Summary: One month after the death of her beloved Elphinstone, Minerva McGonagall must deal with her grief and decide whether she wants to continue teaching. Along the way, she finds an unexpected source of comfort.

Aunt Muriel by @pottermum. Leading ladies: Aunt Muriel Weasley and Lily Luna Potter. T, 3.4k words. Summary: Every family has that one annoying relative.

Watering Petunias by @englandwouldfall. Leading ladies: Petunia Evans Dursley and Aunt Muriel (yes, another Muriel story!). G, 4.6k words. Summary: She can feel the dirt crawling up her sleeves and invading her clean pristine life . . .she is being plucked, once more, from a sea of flowers. When was she ever really given a choice?

Another Love by @justfinishthis. Leading lady: Euphemia Potter. G, 2k words. Summary: Euphemia Potter hears that her son is in love and she has fears.

The 34th Amelia Bones Solstice Party by woldy. Leading ladies: Augusta Longbottom & a party of all the best girlies. G, 2.8k words. Summary: This year there is no invitation to Amelia Bones' Solstice party on Augusta's mantelpiece. There is no longer an Amelia to throw it. Yet she always said the party must go on, and Augusta's determined that it will.

We would love to receive recs in the ask box or in the rec channel on our Discord server. Almost any fic that is female-centric is welcome (exception: fics that feature explicit underage sexual content). We look forward to sharing more recs with you!

[bxnny-doll]

When are you telling us the groping story?

oh shit I forgot life’s been crazy for meeee 😵‍💫

sooo daddy and I were at the fest and I was wearing my pink micro bikini with white Angel wings and white leg straps and pigtails !! I don’t have pics I’m sry we were living in the moment >.< I do have a little vid of us though I’ll include that ^.^ you can kinda see my wings here 🪽

sooo this night was also my first time I got to be a little miss Molly and I had soooo much fun, I felt so sexy and good and I just wanted to keep dancing and grinding on daddy 🤤💗 anywayyy after my little group got all set up (we made friends with our neighbors!!) daddy, a neighbor and I did a big group hug to celebrate 🥰

after the hug I realized when my ass got squeezed it wasn’t daddy’s hand 🫣 I got nervous and whispered it to him and we don’t know if it was someone in the crowd or not !! apparently it happens a lot at these kinds of things I was talking to other friends about it

that’s the storyyyy:)

[5sos-fic-fest]

Author Spotlight: ə (Schwa)

Name:

ə (Schwa)

Tumblr URL:

@cxmp-writes

AO3:

cxmp

What do you like about the “friends to lovers” trope?

The way that friendship is already a kind of love. Like, you care deeply about this person and will always help them to fight their battles, everything they say makes you think "gosh I'm so lucky to know them". And then one day you wake up and realise you find each other hot too and it's like fate had a dark secret conspiracy to give you everything you ever dreamed of.

When did you first become a fan of 5sos?

In 2021. I came across a fic by Molly (galacticsugar) on ao3 and enjoyed it so much I thought "I should check this band out". Best decision I ever made.

What do you enjoy most about writing fic?

Much like reading others' fics, it's a way to wrap myself in the comfy, cuddly, cloying sweetness of a world where love is always requited, good people always get happy endings, and the greater the angst on the way the happier the ending they earn. If I can't live in that world… at least I can visit it from time to time.

Describe your fic for this fest in three words:

skateboarders coming out

Special promo:

like angels can fly (we'll never die)

[alexbkrieger13]

Christmas came early this year and it can be viewed outside of Sweden! It's a 2 hour live concert with the Swedish music elite (among them Molly Sandén) who perform ABBA songs 🤩

https://www.svtplay.se/video/jE4B5G5/en-fest-for-abba

omg yea saw Mollys performance last night and it was fantastic

[consistentsquash]

10 Age gap f/f fics with 10 Hermione pairings

Femslash February!!!!

Pretty crazy life right now so no blurbs, sorry :/ But wanted to get this out before February is done.

Hermione/Minerva McGonagall

Sesquipedalia by kelly_chambliss

Length - 7000 words

During her free period, she went to the library. She wanted to read more about transfiguration and theory and experiments, and (she didn't deny it), she wanted to look through issues of Transfiguration Today to see if she could find Professor McGonagall's name mentioned. Seeing that name in print always gave Hermione a little thrill, like the jolt of excitement she'd felt as an eleven-year-old in Ollivander's shop, when her wand had found her. Getting her wand had made her feel grown up, the first step towards being taken seriously, the way Professor McGonagall was.

Rec note - @kellychambliss is on Tumblr!!! Definitely go say hi!!! <3

  Hermione/Andromeda Tonks

Bookworms and Broomsticks by tattooedsappho

Length - 4400 words.

Rec note - HP Beholder fic! This fest has some brilliant fics. Check out their AO3 collection.

Hermione barely had time to stand before Andromeda swept her into a hug and her head was swimming in galangal, heliotrope and vanilla as the butterflies begin dancing in her stomach again.

  Hermione/Delphi

Homily by eldritcher

Length - 17000 words

Rec note - It's got Delphi, but trust me this is a huge improvement over Cursed Child's plot. Because it's got a sentient and senile Castle to start with!

Womanhood has its seasons. Death was the spirit of a crone that lived in an elder tree. The first woman was an elm, and Embla was her name. The Castle wants and ails, and seeks mastery while binding her masters to her. The women of Homer were not the women of Euripides. Menopause has left me changed. It is not an ending. It is merely a season's turn.

 

Hermione/Lily Luna

Now and Before by tray_la_la

Length - 1600 words

Lily is bolder today, though her movements are tentative as she scoots back farther from the edge of the bed, settling on her back with her legs spread. Her teeth bite into her bottom lip, fingers playing with the hem of her shirt. She can’t possibly realise the effect, Hermione thinks, the throb between her legs racing through her chest to lodge in her throat. Once again she is struck by Lily’s innocence, delicate and overwhelming and hanging in the balance.

  Hermione/Molly

Lesson One by pauraque

Length - 2400 words

"Hermione, you are anything but stupid," Molly says, with the practised firmness of someone used to being turned to for encouragement and comfort. "And you're hardly the only girl in the world to be nervous about her first time." She takes Hermione's glass from her and sets it down, then cups both her hands in hers, peering at her with a smile that wrinkles the corners of her eyes. "If you want to talk about it, you can always come to me. And I promise I won't tell you to lie back and think of England."

  Hermione/Narcissa

Union by Titti

Length - 2200 words

"Of course, education is extremely important and one should always apply oneself to the subject at hand," Hermione said in her most studious tone.

Rec note - lots of great fics in this ship. So I am just going to go with the oldest fic on AO3.

  Hermione/Rolanda Hooch

Notice Me by Max Sinclaire

Length - 2200 words

Spinning around quickly she stared up into eyes that, in the past, she had always thought were a dull yellow. Now, under the pulsing and dancing, neon lights, she realized that the eyes she was staring at were actually gold. Hair that she previously thought was grey, was in fact a beautiful silver to match the gold tones in her eyes.

  Hermione/Poppy

Remedial Healing by Hijja

Length - 4500 words.

"There are natural means of dealing with the cramps," she explained. "Massage, for example, is quite helpful..." Granger's expression vacillated between puzzled and inquisitive, without showing any sign of dawning comprehension. "So is orgasm, Miss Granger."

  Hermione/Bellatrix

The Perfume and Suppliance of a Minute by Lillielle

Length - 260 words

Who else can say their existence is so gloriously planned?

Rec note - Darkfic which has a lot going on in just 260 words!

  Hermione/Lily Evans

Dangerous Times by SecondSilk

Length - 410 words

"What year is it?" Lily demanded. "Nineteen ninety-nine, or almost."

[queermtl]

QUEER MTL THINGS TO DO: September 2023

It’s September, and fall begins to appear with the leaves changing into a beautiful rainbow all of their own! This month, Montréal is stuffed to the brim with events, parties and unique experiences painted in all the colours of the LGBTQ+ rainbow. From drag to community, circuit to underground, here’s some of our picks for the best LGBTQ+ things to do in the city. For further announcements, including those not announced at time of publication, follow QueerMTL on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and Tumblr! Got an event coming up? DM it our way!

ÉVÉNEMENTS / EVENTS

Vendredi 1er septembre / Friday, September 1

😆 Ladyfest 2023: Tales of Gender Affirmation, Diving Bell Social Club

😆 Ladyfest 2023: They Go Low, We Go Laugh, Diving Bell Social Club

😆 Ladyfest 2023: I Don’t Belong Here, Diving Bell Social Club

🎶 Sapphonix Collective’s Sapphonix Salon Night, Location disclosed with ticket purchase

🧤Montréal Fetish Weekend, Hôtel Zéro1

Samedi 2 septembre / Saturday, September 2

🧤Montréal Fetish Weekend, Hôtel Zéro1

Dimanche 3 septembre / Sunday, September 3

😆 Ladyfest 2023: Chinatown Comedy Night with Yumi Blake, Ellie Gill, Kristina Guevarra, Psyberia, KĚ and Andrina Learmonth, Diving Bell Social Club

💑 Slow Dating #9 Gay, Lundis au soleil 

🧤Montréal Fetish Weekend, Hôtel Zéro1

🎤 Ellelui Lesbian, Queer and Trans Variety Show with Ray Restvick, Adele Ross, Becca Redden and Naïka Champaïgne, Entrepôt 77

Lundi 4 septembre / Monday, September 4

✍️ Trivia Mondays hosted by Bambi Dextrous, Diving Bell Social Club

🧤Montréal Fetish Weekend, Hôtel Zéro1

Mercredi 6 septembre / Wednesday, September 6

✍️ Queer Sip & Draw, Blue Dog Motel

Jeudi 7 septembre / Thursday, September 7

🎥 The Dhakira Collective presents the North African Queer Film Festival running until September 23, Cinema Public

Samedi 9 septembre / Saturday, September 9

🎤 Bareoke: Strip Karaoke, Café Cléopatra

📚 Violet Hour Book Club meets to discuss How Far the Light Reaches: A Life in Ten Sea Creatures by Sabrina Imbler, Archives gaies du Québec

Dimanche 10 septembre / Sunday, September 10

😆 Very Pretentious Comedy and The Empress Comedy Show present The Pretempress Comedy Show with Mike Carrozza, Sandy El Bitar, Dana Saleh, Molly Brisebois, Shawn Stenhouse, Yumi Blake and Ke Xin Li, Diving Bell Social Club

Lundi 11 septembre / Monday, September 11

✍️ Trivia Mondays hosted by Bambi Dextrous, Diving Bell Social Club

Mercredi 13 septembre / Wednesday, September 13

✍️ Queer Sip & Draw, Blue Dog Motel

Jeudi 14 septembre / Thursday, September 14

🎉Cabaret Queer with guest performers, Cabaret Mado

Dimanche 17 septembre / Sunday, September 17

🎤 Bareoke: Strip Karaoke, Café Cléopatra

🧺 Pique-nique salade de fruits + Heure du conte avec Barbada, Daisy Peterson Sweeney Park

Lundi 18 septembre / Monday, September 18

✍️ Trivia Mondays hosted by Bambi Dextrous, Diving Bell Social Club

👗 PEEL FASHION FEST runway shows and after party, Peel and Sainte-Catherine Streets

Mercredi 20 septembre / Wednesday, September 20

✍️ Queer Sip & Draw, Blue Dog Motel

Jeudi 21 septembre / Thursday, September 21

📚 Double book launch of Heather Nolan’s How to Be Alone and Eva Crocker’s Back in the Land of the Living at La petite librairie D+Q

Vendredi 22 septembre / Friday, September 22

💪 BLOW: Burlesque Lovelies of Wrestling with Betty Cayenne, Butterscotch Blondie, Casquivano, Eldritch Mór, Frost Fennec, Irony, Kinky Karma, Princess Ula and Yikes Macaroni, Café Cléopatra

Samedi 23 septembre / Saturday, September 23

🎶 Māori fem queen Lady Shaka with San Farafina, Naibi b2b and Jashim, Théâtre Fairmount

Lundi 25 septembre / Monday, September 25

✍️ Trivia Mondays hosted by Bambi Dextrous, Diving Bell Social Club

Mercredi 27 septembre / Wednesday, September 27

✍️ Queer Sip & Draw, Blue Dog Motel

🎤 Most Tuesdays, check out Stand Up St. Henri Open Mic at Impro Montréal, focusing on women, non-binary, queer and allied comedians.

FESTIVITÉS / PARTIES

Vendredi 1er septembre / Friday, September 1

🥳 Pikete—Desacato Escolar with La Niña Kiwi, Ura, mCherry, Jashim, Cherubinx and Lola Lolita, Cabaret Berlin

🥳 Kreuzberg Kink—Dance and Play with DJs Davide Lapara, Crissemarqueur and Warm Rubberette, Cabaret Berlin

Dimanche 3 septembre / Sunday, September 3

🥳TSwift Dance Party “for Swifties, by Swifties” with DJ Rog, Le Belmont

🥳 Berlin Techno Fetish hosted by Cirque De Boudoir, Cabaret Berlin

Vendredi 15 septembre / Friday, September 15

🥳 The Dark Eighties, Bar Le Ritz PDB

Samedi 16 septembre / Saturday, September 16

🥳 Queen & Queer lesbians & queer women events present Nuit Electro #3 with OM.EL Beat, Shadya and DJ Sam, Le Ministère

DES SPORTS

👠 Twice a month on every second Tuesday, Bring It! hosts an OTA night of ballroom and vogue with commentator and DJ. Follow their Instagram for dates and details.

🚲 Montréal Queer Bike Polo meet on Thursdays, with details on Instagram

🎾 Ligue de dimanche meet at the Parc Louis-Riel tennis courts every Sunday.

🤠 Club Bolo—Danse Country Montréal meet on Fridays at the Association sportive et communautaire du Centre-Sud

💃 Tango/Salsa Queer’s continue, with Salsa Queer on Saturdays from 13:30-14:30 and Tango (beginners/intermediate) on Saturdays at 12:00-13:30. Contact tango.queer@hotmail.com or call +1 (438) 930-8529 for prices and signup information.

🏐 Les Ratons-Chasseurs (Montréal’s LGBTA dodgeball group) holds regular events. Keep an eye on their Facebook for upcoming opportunities to join in and play. 

🕹Montréal Gaymers hosts regular gatherings including board game nights and gaming gatherings. Check their Facebook for what’s next!

🏃🏾Join the Out-Run run and workout club for people relating to the queer / sapphic experience. Details on their Instagram!

🐦 Bird lovers should keep their eye on Queer Birders' regularly scheduled birdwatching events and excursions. Join the Facebook group and get those binoculars at the ready.

DRAG

Montréal’s vibrant drag community features several regularly-scheduled nights hosted by local luminaries, each featuring guest performers. Check venue websites for full line-ups!

Vendredi 1er septembre / Friday, September 1

👑 Mado Reçoit with Mado Lamotte, Cabaret Mado

👑 Vendredi Fou with Michel Dorion, Bar Le Cocktail

👑 Jimmy Moore Drag Show with Jimmy Moore, Complexe Sky

👑 Gisèle Lullaby, Journaliste d’enquête et femme du peuple with Gisèle Luillaby, Casino de Montréal

Samedi 2 septembre / Saturday, September 1

👑 Jimmy Moore personnifie Shania Twain, Cabaret Mado

👑 Mado Reçoit with Mado Lamotte, Cabaret Mado

👑 Drôles de Drags with Miss Butterfly, Ciathanight, Crystal Starz et Emma Déjavu, Bar Le Cocktail

👑 QUEERCORE: Hard + Heavy alternative drag night presented by Cult of AnarchKey, Bar Notre-Dame-Des-Quilles

🕹 Jackbox Games with the Gahds with Uma Gahd and Selma Gahd, Bar Le Cocktail

👑 Gisèle Lullaby, Journaliste d’enquête et femme du peuple with Gisèle Luillaby, Casino de Mon

Dimanche 3 septembre / Sunday, September 3

👑 Jimmy Moore personnifie Britney Spears, Cabaret Mado

👑 Le Tracy Show with Tracy Trash, Cabaret Mado

👑 Dimanche Show with Michel Dorion, Bar Le Cocktail

👑 Saloon Drag Lunch with Miss Butterfly and Emma Déjàvu, Saloon Bistro Bar

Mardi 5 septembre / Tuesday, September 5

👑 Full Gisèle with Gisèle Lullaby, Cabaret Mado

Jeudi 7 septembre / Thursday, September 7

👑 Sherry Vine in Hollywood and Vine, Cabaret Mado

👑 Butterfly de nuit with Miss Butterfly, Bar Le Cocktail

👑 Recess: Pokemon Edition with Val the Freak, Korra Anarchkey, Prudence, Amnesia, Pandora’s Box Muncher, Lulu Shade, Niko Lubie & Ray Moon, Spore Ghetti, Queef Latina and Kris Ma Chèque, Bar Notre-Dame-des-Quilles

Vendredi 8 septembre / Friday, September 8

👑 Mado Reçoit with Mado Lamotte, Cabaret Mado

👑 Vendredi Fou with Michel Dorion, Bar Le Cocktail

👑 Jimmy Moore Drag Show with Jimmy Moore, Complexe Sky

Samedi 9 septembre / Saturday, September 9

👑 Jimmy Moore personnifie Rihanna, Cabaret Mado

👑 Mado Reçoit with Mado Lamotte, Cabaret Mado

👑 Drôles de Drags with Miss Butterfly, Ciathanight, Crystal Starz and Emma Déjavu, Bar Le Cocktail

Dimanche 10 septembre / Sunday, September 10

👑 Drag Brunch “Disco Groove” with Lady Boom Boom, Tracy Trash and Bobépine, Resto du Village

👑 Le Tracy Show with Tracy Trash, Cabaret Mado 👑 Dimanche Show with Michel Dorion, Bar Le Cocktail

Mardi 12 septembre / Tuesday, September 12

👑 Full Gisèle with Gisèle Lullaby, Cabaret Mado

👑 Garden of Shade 1st Anniversary with Lulu Shade, Sarah Winters, Sally-D, Demone Lastrange, Lady Monrose, Esirena and Lily Rose, Bar Le Cocktail

Jeudi 14 septembre / Thursday, September 14

👑 Butterfly de nuit with Miss Butterfly, Bar Le Cocktail

Vendredi 15 septembre / Friday, September 15

👑 Mado Reçoit with Mado Lamotte, Cabaret Mado

👑 Vendredi Fou with Michel Dorion, Bar Le Cocktail

👑 Jimmy Moore Drag Show with Jimmy Moore, Complexe Sky

Samedi 16 septembre / Saturday, September 16

👑 Mado Reçoit with Mado Lamotte, Cabaret Mado

👑 Jimmy Moore personnifie Lady Gaga, Cabaret Mado

👑 Drôles de Drags with Miss Butterfly, Ciathanight, Crystal Starz et Emma Déjavu, Bar Le Cocktail

👑 Erica—25 ans de carrière with Erica, Bar Le Cocktail

Dimanche 17 septembre / Sunday, September 17

👑 Le Tracy Show with Tracy Trash, Cabaret Mado

👑 Dimanche Show with Michel Dorion, Bar Le Cocktail

Mardi 19 septembre / Tuesday, September 19

👑 Full Gisèle with Gisèle Lullaby, Cabaret Mado

Jeudi 21 septembre / Thursday, September 21

👑 Sashalicious with Sasha Baga, Esirena, Walter Ego, Yannick Rockstar et Crystal Starz, Cabaret Mado

👑 Butterfly de nuit with Miss Butterfly, Bar Le Cocktail

Vendredi 22 septembre / Friday, September 22

👑 Mado Reçoit with Mado Lamotte, Cabaret Mado

👑 Vendredi Fou with Michel Dorion, Bar Le Cocktail

👑 Jimmy Moore Drag Show with Jimmy Moore, Complexe Sky

Samedi 23 septembre / Saturday, September 23

👑 Mado Reçoit with Mado Lamotte, Cabaret Mado

👑 Jimmy Moore personnifie Madonna, Cabaret Mado

👑 Drôles de Drags with Miss Butterfly, Ciathanight, Crystal Starz et Emma Déjavu, Bar Le Cocktail

Dimanche 24 septembre / Sunday, September 24

👑 Le Tracy Show with Tracy Trash, Cabaret Mado

👑 Dimanche Show with Michel Dorion, Bar Le Cocktail

Mardi 26 septembre / Tuesday, September 26

👑 Full Gisèle with Gisèle Lullaby, Cabaret Mado

Jeudi 28 septembre / Thursday, September 28

👑 Ooh La La fundraiser for HIV/AIDS care home Maison du Parc with Manny Tuazon, Cabaret Mado

👑 Trashilaz with Aizysse Baga, Cabaret Mado

👑 Butterfly de nuit with Miss Butterfly, Bar Le Cocktail

Vendredi 29 septembre / Friday, September 29

👑 Mado Reçoit with Mado Lamotte, Cabaret Mado

👑 Vendredi Fou with Michel Dorion, Bar Le Cocktail

👑 Jimmy Moore Drag Show with Jimmy Moore, Complexe Sky

Samedi 30 septembre / Saturday, September 30

👑 Mado Reçoit with Mado Lamotte, Cabaret Mado

👑 Jimmy Moore personnifie Taylor Swift, Cabaret Mado

👑 Drôles de Drags with Miss Butterfly, Ciathanight, Crystal Starz et Emma Déjavu, Bar Le Cocktail

[ashesandhackles]

To the victor go the spoils (part 2)

Written for @harrypocter drabble fest Winter Sun Prompt: Kingsley Shacklebolt Not necessary but you might enjoy this drabble after reading the first one here A pall of silence hung over the Burrow kitchen. Molly, with her trembling hands, was buttering the toast and Arthur hovered near her, his arm outstretched as if he expected her to shatter any moment. 

The silence was broken by Kingsley, slamming a letter onto the table with an uncharacteristic display of incandescent anger.  Bill looked at him questioningly, but Kingsley just shook his head in disgust. He peeked over Kingsley’s shoulder to see the letter, a coffee mug in hand. As his eyes moved over the letter, his lips pressed into a hard line.

“I can’t say I’m surprised,” Bill said finally. “They probably don’t want to be associated with her at the moment. Might not look good for their trials..”

Arthur looked at his son. “What is happening?” “The Malfoy don’t wish to be contacted on what must be done with the body of Bellatrix Lestrange,” Bill said. “Fucking self-serving cowards.”

Molly, who would have normally chided her eldest son about his language, continued with her mountain of toast - even though George was hiding in his Diagon Alley flat, Percy had gone to check on his friend Audrey, Harry, Ron, and Charlie were still trying to help with rebuilding Hogwarts..

“Do you know what this means?” Kingsley asked, his voice quivering with the echoes of Andromeda’s screams. 

Molly turned to look at him, a fierce light in her eyes. “I think that woman has been through enough. Are you really thinking of asking her what to do? That’s the body of a woman who killed her daughter. She killed Sirius.”

“She is her only living relative,” Kingsley clenched his hands. “I can’t just take away that choice from her, Molly.”

“Burn her,” Molly said coldly, as Arthur and Bill exchanged looks. “I’m sure Andromeda will agree.”

Kingsley stared at the words on the parchment, the disavowal so as to repair Malfoy name in ‘polite’ society. His instinct to protect Andromeda warred with his instinct to tell her the truth…he wondered whether being the new Minister of Magic would dampen his chances to punch Lucius Malfoy in the face. ---- The tea lay cold between them as Andromeda stared at the letter. In the silence that stretched, he wondered if Molly was right, that he should have just burnt the body and obliterated its shadow before he brought it to Andromeda’s door again.

Andromeda looked up from the letter, her face hard and her smile mocking. “Ah, Cissy,” she said softly, in a way that Kingsley could see the keen phantom of Bellatrix on her face. 

 “Bury her,” she said. “Unmarked grave. For reasons I am sure you understand, I do not want to watch. There may be a time I will ask you where it is, do not tell me.”

Kingsley wasn’t sure he understood but he nodded. He then cast a warming charm on both of their teacups and watched as Andromeda prepared a Howler for living sister.  Read this on AO3

[dramioneasks]

heyy, I’m looking for a fic where Harry and Ron go into this room during the battle and when they leave it, it’s 5 years into the future (5 mins for them) and they find out that draco and hermione are married? I can’t find it for the life of me

thank youu

Anyone?

Edit:

Thanks, taylordawnpanda!

Paralyzed by Lovenyx125 - E, WIP - Harry and Ron went missing during the Battle of Hogwarts, leaving the fate of the world in the hands of another saviour. Five years later, their reappearance throws a wrench into the idyllic post-war lives of their friends. The pair struggle to find their footing in a world where their best friend is married to the Wizarding’s World’s sweetheart, Draco Malfoy, and Blaise Zabini calls Molly Weasley ‘Mum’. Written for the Apples & Quills 'Happy Birthday Draco" fest.

[broomsticks]

my 2022 year in fic

tagged by @squidgilator forever ago for this, and @tahtahfornow for something similar - soooo late, but yes!

i am so late with this that i’m sure everyone has done it already, but if not -- @tracingpatternswrites? @celestemagnoliathewriter? @lumosatnight? @danpuff-ao3, @schmem14, @acnelli?

1 (jan) —

Resolution (peter-centric, 500, T). Since he was eleven, Peter’s New Year’s Resolution had always been the same: this year I will be braver.

It’d been an accident, really, the first time, he didn’t know Dorcas had been discharged from the hospital wing and Marlene had skipped Divination. And the second, third, well, that was being kind to yourself, wasn’t it? It must’ve been coincidence that Remus gave Lily a cat the following year, but, truly, how unkind of him.

4 (apr) —

the grace unasked for (remadora, 17k, T). my @remuslupinfest 2022 entry, DH AU-but-make-it-canon. What if… instead of going to Bill's after the Malfoy Manor, Harry and co. flee to Tonks' parents' house, where Remus and Tonks are hiding with Andromeda?

That point was driven home two days ago, when the peaceful silence of their morning lie-in was interrupted by the sound of things clattering to the ground and smashing. This wasn't exactly a rare occurrence in the house—just not when Dora was asleep beside him. They'd rushed to Andromeda's room to find her doubled over the dressing table, objects atop all swept to the floor, and the last vestiges of a Patronus dissipating. "Ted," she'd gasped, clutching at Dora. Remus had put his arms numbly around the mother-daughter huddle, feeling waves of horror cresting and breaking over him. Feeling for all the world like he was taking another man's place, living another's life.

5 (may) —

I'm In Here (bellatrix-centric, 1.8k, M). inspired by fantismal & krethes’ 600k modern marauders textfic Did You Miss Me? (highly rec!!). some bellatrix/tom riddle & bella&narcissa, and my first time writing anything remotely spicy!

She’d never told anyone (not even Sirius, not even in his most annoyingly skeptical moments), but he’d kissed her there—the translucent skin on the inside of her left wrist—after, like a gentleman. Until next time, princess — and she’d died again.

6 (jun) —

flowers kiss and miss (narcissa/lily, 1.4k, T), a nonlinear canon compliant drabble collection.

it’s Narcissa’s favorite Lily, pink and breathless.

7 (jul) —

no present like the moment (luna/ginny, 1.5k, T). a oneshot slice-of-life written for @hawksquill’s @hpqueerfest prompt, and inspired by their luna-centric 200k linny AU Luna Lovegood and the Forgotten Circle [also recced here!]

You’re special, Luna Lovegood—you’re magic, Ginny Weasley—they repeat to each other, in tongues spoken and unspoken. In chocolate-tasting kisses, in constellations of freckles and scars traced out by sight and touch and memory alone.

8 (aug) —

More Than This (wolfstar, peter-centric, 3k, T). a mwpp-era asexual!peter POV wolfstar get-together for another @hpqueerfest prompt. i am pretty proud of how many parallel storylines i managed to squeeze in here!

James’ long stretched-out arm is heavy across Peter’s shoulders and, feet curled under her, Lily’s toes are poking his side lightly. They’re grounding anchors, a counterweight against the heady lightness of too much firewhisky and too much future.

9 (sep) —

she's dressed in black again (1.5k, T). technically canon compliant bella/andromeda/prewett twins + narcissa/molly, written for Untagged fest.

Let Bellatrix and Andromeda have their cut flowers, their champagne flutes, in the crystal chandelier-adorned ballroom. She and Molly would be out in the garden, at home amidst the common weeds. Unobtrusive and overlooked, staying away from it all.

i like the title, hahaha, and, er. parts of the rest of the fic 😂

10 (oct) —

We Can Have It All (james/remus, 1.5k, E). hotel balcony pwp for @pumpkinspiceficfest, aka my first time writing something ACTUALLY spicy.

(slightly NSFW excerpt, so snip snip snip)

He was probably pressing Remus into the railing with the forcefulness of his kisses, James realised, but he didn’t have it in him to care about anything else other than his hand curled around Remus’ girth, slick with precum, and Remus’ hand in the small of his back, pulling him closer. Remus’ moans and tugs combined to create an unspoken urging of right here, right now, that James found himself utterly powerless to resist.

note to self that wow i sure posted a lot of nonsense in october!

11 (nov) —

unabashed in a storm (minerva/poppy/pomona, 1.2k, G) for Tarot fest. split POV, the three of them at Remus and Tonks’ wedding.

She lets herself be drawn in by the guests’ gushes and gasps, the brilliant choreography, the magnificent conjurations. It’s a testament to their talent, their synchronicity, and of their determination to fight — their anticipation of a better tomorrow. The ferocity of their spellwork speaks to how deeply they believe it, and for a moment, she believes it too. Beams of light up the night, in every colour she can name, shining all the brighter for the darkness. She thinks, irresistibly, of hope.

12 (dec) —

Tension in Tinsel (dorcas/marlene, 2.5k, E). inspired by incredible art from @carlav-blogs which you all HAVE to check out. Dorlene, ribbons and bows, bondage and suspension. That's it, that's the fic.

“Good,” Dorcas hears herself reply, in a tone she hardly recognises, but she’s pleasantly surprised. She walks to stand between Marlene’s legs, adjusting them so that Marlene’s straddling her. As she levitates the string of Christmas lights around the red strips ascending to the ceiling, Marlene whimpers for her, legs tightening painfully around her hips. “Pose for me, sweetheart,” she instructs.

[popculturebuffet]

Aqua Teen Hunger Force MC Pee Pants Retrospective (Comissioned by WeirdKev27)

Hello all you happy people. So this one's a bit of a breather after some very intensive exausting reviews, some major schedule slippage and before even more intensive reviews. Today we're looking at Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

Having gleefully covered Sealab 2021, Mission Hill, and having a whole Venture Bros retrospective on this blog (That I assure you IS coming back, my schedule is just like living in a living nightmare sometimes), and planning to cover home movies at some point after I realize I hadn't because it's purespun gold, observe…

It's probably not a suprise to Kev who comissoined this nor anyone reading whose been with me a while that I fucking love Aqua Teen Hunger Force. It fit the mold for the other williams street shows at the time like Space Ghost COast to Coast (also another one to cover), Brak Show, or Sealab itself: dialouge heavy but entirely bananas, b-a-n-a-n-a-anas to compensate for a budget of a paper cup. It's also the longest lived of them by far, going on for most of Adult Swim's lifespan till being abubtly cancled and even THEN i'ts recently came back with a series of web shorts and the first DTV movie from Warner's new adult swim based intitative.

Aqua Teen will never be canceled, Aqua Teen Won't be Dismantled, Aqua Teen Gonna Be Together, Aqua Teen Gonna Be forever! And honestly it's easy to see why it's lasted this long as given the very simple yet inherently weird nature of aqua teen, three fast food mascots with super powers living in new jersey and having weird shit happen to them and their perverted asshole neighbor carl, means you can do just about anything with it from have Shake cause nuclear armageddon to reboot a flintstones pastiche, to the gang unearthing an evil sandwitch, to evangelical fruits showing up in thier house and one going on an alchoholic spiral, to carl getting himself shoved up a trolls ass as part of a metal band's performance, it can be anything. And while the later seasons are a bit weaker, I do think they still have their gems ala the simpsons.

So I was more than happy when asked to chronicle the rise and explosion and rise and slaughterhouse and rise and vamppiric explosion and rise and rise and squashing and rise and swatting and rise and elder fraud of mc pee pants aka sir loin aka little brittle.

MC Pee Pants came about due to Willams Street at the time making good use of comedian and rap god, MC Chris, a nerdy as fuck rapper with bars for days who I REALLY need to listen more of. When doing Improv one night osme of the williams street execs saw Chris, and asked him to come to atlanta nad while hesitant at first, the part of Hesh for sealab, who I assure you will get his own specail one of these days, maybe a heshtober fest, appealed to him and soon Hesh wanted sex and Adult Swim wanted more of him. So i'ts not a huge shock he popped up on adult swim's latest show Aqua Teen Hunger force and would make yearly apperances before vanishing entirely. Why he fell out with the company.. no one knows. He gladly came back for the 100th episode so there appears to be no real bad blood.. he might of just moved out of altanta. Whatever the case while Hesh made MC Chris' voice acting career, MC Pee Pants is easily just as memorable. As for who he is.. well tha'ts best left under the cut as what he is.. is a lot.

MC Pee Pants MC Pee Pants first debuted in season 1 and our journey begins with him as all his episodes do: with Meatwad blasting his jam box to high heaven and pissing everyone else off. What makes this one special besides being the first is Master Shake is trying to jam a new romantic ballad on the guitar. It can't be undestated how hilarious Dana Synder is and i'm pleased as punch he's still getting work to this day, including a starring role in Ghost and Molly McGee and voicing half of Jellystone.

Naturally Shake's response is to smash his guitar in rage and plan to ram the neck down meatwad's….. uhhhhhhh….. huh. You know I don't think ramming something into meatwad would actually kill him. Maybe HURT him, but i'm not sure ANYTHING can actually kill meatwad short of destroying every last molocule. As long as there's one cell left it'll still be sapient.

Shake CAN still beat the piss out of his hapless roomate though so Frylock, always anti child beating, tries to talk Meatwad down instead. Every attempt is objectively funny. The first is my faviorite: Frylock tries to get Meatwad to listen to classical music. He has such high school band teacher energy here trying to convince Metawad that these were the "real gangsters" while Meatwad looks on in abject horror and just switches back to MC Pee Pants after. Frylock still tries to be patient despite Meatwad having done this for days and does the obvious: has Meatwad use earphones. And I love his happy tone as he says "So master shake won't want to kill you with a guitar neck". I also like the Meatwad hearing loss gag after. Good sound mixing there. Eventually Frylock just tell shim to fuck off with it or he'll let shake beat him which is'nt great parenting but he tried good parenting. Now it's "don't make me let your roommate/brother/tormentor beat you".

Meatwad then tries to get him some candy as the dope new drop from mc pee pants h'es been blasting, I want candy tell shim to. We get a great him as elvis gag (Shake's "Are you the fat elvis" is comic gold as is his casual attempted murder), and ends up getting his fix form carl who true to form has a bunch of easter bunnies he got from the dumpster they just have to wipe off which would be gross but we don't see them actually EAT the things nor what's on them, so it works, especially with Carl's later ask of "Wipe me off another rabbit"

They end up doing this long into the night, and washing Carl's car for some reason. Probably cocaine. I wouldn't put it past carl to have put some on the bunnies and told meatwad they were sugar. Or done so by mistake. It's carl, he's either going to be sad, sleazy, deeply incomptient or all of the above. How is a crapshoot.

Frylock has concerns. Not about the cocaine, he has a snow mountain in his closet, no he's worried about the lyrics which talk about using the hyper active energy of those who eat the candy to power a drill straight to hell to unleash demons to help mc pee pants with a diet pill pyramid scheme.

So with the address given in the song, everyone heads to 612 wharf avenue. Which is ana ctual place in new jersey. It's even near Kevin Smith's store.

Turns out that's EXACTLY Mc Pee Pants scheme and instead of the child on the cover, he's a grown man whose also a giant spider in a diaper and shower cap who talks about how he's insane. Chris unsurprisingly is great in the rolll as MC Pee Pants really makes little sense with his plan, an dis only doing it because he can't get a job.

The resolution is one of the series best: the aqua teens set mc pee pants up for a job interview…. and then blow up an abandoned building iwth him inside. It's just so hilariously cruel and there's no real reason for it. They could just.. take meatwad and leave. He can't really do anything to them. I mean he did domestically abuse dr. weird though.. so fair enough.

MC Pee Pants is a solid episode.. and I got paid TO WRITE THAT. I love my life. It's got plenty of great jokes, chris is terrfiic and I want candy will get stuck in your head guaranteed

Super Sirloin While the first ep was decent, Sir Loin is even better. With this one Frylock hasn't quite caught onto the formula despite Meatwad once again blasting a song at all hours.. in this case instead of a sugar high he can't sleep because he's worried about the starving children.. and how he goes about helping "the shorties" is also hilarious, grabbing every bit of food and stuffing it into a garbage bag. I also like the runner about Master Shake somehow affording steak and eggs and Duck Alaronge, as well as despite Frylock saying it perfectly, him bitching about Frylock butchering the prounciation. I forget how much subtle humor is dotted aroudn the weirder shit. Carl also spits in a bag and Dr Weird grafts a dear antler to his groin to fit in with the heard so it hasn't gotten too subtle. "Sigh" I really miss Dr. Weird. And C. Martin Croaker.

I also like the runner with meatwad eating sand, which starts with Shake just .. getting him to eat it on a regular basis.

Despite Frylock being worried about it even though Meatwad is clearly a highlander, and later escalates to meatwad expecting everyone else to for the shorties and Shake trying it with ketchup and deciding this sucks and they need to go see sir loin. Naturally Mc Pee Pants, now sir loin is the best part of the episode. This time he's a cow whose renting patio furniture and is amassing flies to melt down a bank. Once again I got paid to watch a man explain all this and then write about it.

My faviorite bits are Mc Pee Pants slowing down explaning things because he thinks frylock is dumb, chris really nails the condesnion and the bizzare ness of him talking about the farmer asking "gimme the milk, gimmie the milk" and frylock's deadpan "There isn't a farmer is there. " He's way too used to the nonsense that is his existance at this point. They naturally use a slaughterhouse this time which tops the previous finale as last time it was at least plausable that building was a buisness… I mean not very but he's a giant spider in a diaper man. It dosen't tak emuch. This time it's very transparently a slaughterhouse and the SECOND time they've casually murdered him and will not be the last.

Sir Loin is another great episode, taking the same basic premise but finding even better jokes for it. The result's a classic.

Little Brittle

So we're onto the final focus episode for MC, and honestly when I was a teen and until this rewatch I hated this one, feeling it was too slow paced and not nearly as entertaning as the first two. On rewatch I expected to still hate it and dreaded getting to this one

Little Brittle.. is the BEST of the trilogy, and after wondering why MC hadn't come back for more than a cameo till Aquadonk Sidepieces, this gave me the answer: there was no where to go from here. THey already took the formula as far as they could. While other recurrers could be crammed in wherever, MC's episodes relied on him doing the same brainwashing raps and reveal of some stupid plan every time and with this one tearing that formula up they likely just.. couldn't think of a new spin on it. Brittle has the same inciting incident: Meatwad's playing MC's latest rap on loop, only after two times Frylock catches on instantly. Though instead of 612 Wharf Avenue he's at a decaying old folks home, presumibly next to elvis and jfk.

Two things really make this one pop: the subversion of things, which is not easy to pull off: there's a fine line between playing with a formula nad audience expectations and getting good laughs or drama out of it and pulling a swerve bro. It's what seperates the rian johnstons from the vince russos and they pull it off here. Instead of a zany plan MC instead genuinely seems to be a sad old man who just happens to also have a diaper, shower cap and yellow eyes , who misses his grand kids and is dealing with how horribly we treat the elderly. And that's the other sauce: the episode is suprisingly well done satire about how we treat our elderly: the place MC is stuck is GENUINELY awful, wether he's pulling a scheme or not, and Frylock mostly goes along to feel good about himself then abandons Meatwad there with a strange old man because "someone has to" and he dosen't want to be around the elderly because they smell. Shake and Frylock represent the most common ways society treats the old: Shake is just an asshole and is fine with leaving them to die while Frylock is only fine with actually treating elderly people like human beings as long as it's comfortable. Meatwad is only sympathetic because he not only came iwth good intentions but is basically a child unless the episode says he isn't. Little Brittle is a lot and hte fact he powers thorugh and genuinely seems to befriend him again is great.

As is the reveal that of course this is another stupid scheme, this time to have a vampire bite him to become immortal. The reveal he ONLY released come visit me yo in Transylvania is gold, only topped by Meatwad revealing "the import fees were a bitch". What caps it off though and likely sealed this trilogy off.. is that it ACTUALLY WORKS FOR ONCE. No really, Dracula shows up, bites him, and MC actually gets to be a vampire. He dies again, but only because he goes out into the sun and explodes. The ending's also something that grew on me: originally I felt it was random as hell, and while the explosions are, now I can see the setup: after two episodes of a stupid scheme tha tmakes no sense he has one actually work.. and then dies anyway because of the stupidity that got him killed the last two times. Truly brilliant. Shake is also low key great. Carl.. I don't think is in this one much. Dr. Weird is sadly absent altogether as we'd gotten to spacekataz at this point, which was fine and I get stopping the weird bits once they ran out of ideas but god do I miss them.

Side Pieces

So while they only make the three starring episodes, MC still got to show up a few more times.

First was The Last One that united all the villians legion of doom style… where they procede to get nothing done but adopting a highway by clickclickclickclickclick. MC Pitches a scheme and then dies. It's still nice to have him for this one. Then we have the movie, which like the last one I didn't watch in full, but thankfully youtube had his scene which has Meatwad calling on him to make a rap, and MC coming back as a fly, eating a dog turd and giving us a great rap to stop the insano flex.. before shake kills him because he's needlessly cruel and self destructive. It's a great scene honestly especially the oepning where he has choclate unicorn backup dancers because it's awesome. Chris himself also returned for the 100th episode though rather than play mc he simply did a rap.

Given they played this in all the commericals, it's imbeded deep in my brain… and was also the best part of the episode by a wide margin. So finally we have last year's aquadonk side pieces episode. ADSP was a series of web shorts adult swim did focusing on thet villians, with Carl and the others still showing up. It was great, with this one being tied with the dumber dolls sequel for my faviorite of the batch. It's MC teaching people who to rap the elderly out of their homes. BUT HOW IS THIS LEGAL MC

Since it's so short I recommend watching it yourself bellow

It is truly fantastic and pure comedy gold.. and also strangely heartwarming? Like this is the happiest ending he's gotten… being adopted by an old man whose house he planned to steal with his original body again. So if you have HBO about to be Just Max, I highly recommend these episodes. MC Chris is the best and I felt it was only right to play us out with one of his tracks and since it is may the 4th.. hit it youtube! Thanks for reading.

[desert-bluffs-and-me]

WTNV quick rundown - Live Show - The Investigators - bonus tracks

Featuring the voices of Flor De Liz Perez as Lacy Hernez, Kate Jones as Michelle Nyugen, Wil Wheaton as Earl Harlan, Mark Gagliardi as John Peters, you know, the farmer?, Molly Quinn as Melony Pennington, Jason Webley as Louie Blasko, Jackson Publick as Hiram McDaniels, Mara Wilson as the Faceless Old Woman, Jasika Nicole as Dana Cardinal, Kevin R Free as Kevin of Desert Bluffs.

This is the bonus tracks from the live show, I recommend reading the live show run down first.

Lacey's bonus track is the same information about the electric company that Cecil himself reads out in the live show, but this time Lacey gives the information. She alsos adds that the electric company might be sad because it's going through relationship issues with the gas company.

Michelle comes on air (despite now hating radio and liking podcasts, a reverse of earlier this year) to announce the first ever Dark Owl Fest, an electro-witch-hop music festival. She used six months of DO's income to rent out all of Mission Grove park and is in deep financial trouble because of it, meaning she has to sell tickets even though she wants to be the only one there and it is in fact happening right at that moment as she speaks.

She's actually deeply upset that she decided to do this, as she doesn't want to lose the store and doesn't know why she thought she could do this. Even so, she instantly claims that she is absolutely fine. Also apparently NV has bands called The Murderer, the Dangerous Criminal and ofc the Killers. Also Cecil apparently whispers 'radio radio radio' to himself when he's not on air.

Earl's segment is somewhat a rehash of the shows announcement of the dinner, but he adds extra info about the courses etc. He also tells us that he has a moustache, can remember his sons name most days and always calls him to say he loves him, mutters 'you can do this Earl' into the mirror every morning and also switches places with his mirror self every morning.

John Peters (you know, the farmer?), is on the 'phone' as an eye witness (one of the top three witnesses behind foot witness and kidney witness) to the murder. Except he really just wanted to tell a story about how he was abducted by aliens. Cecil is apathetic to this story and slightly disgruntled that John Peters pretended to be a witness. In NV, witnesses are people paid to witness whatever crime you want them to say they witnessed.

Melony is here for computer tips. She is the creator of Fey, from WZZZ, the number station. She says that Fey is absolutely NOT sentient and that the numbers and tones are codes for foreign spies, as well as a few recipes and poems. Her tips are mostly cryptic things as is the NV norm, like saying personal computers are over friendly and anything can be a computer.

Louise Blasko is here again for his music segment. Carlos thinks Cecil would look cute playing a ukelele, so Cecil is interested in learning to play music (but he also might install a pipe organ in their home). Louie is, as usual, off-key and very chaotic.

Hiram tells us that he has been served 5 life sentences, to be served concurrently by each head. They say that since their Frank Chen disguise was found out they're instead going to diguise each other as a different coloured head. This doesn't work because Cecil can see them talking. They threaten to remove his eyes till Cecil vaguely plays along without incident.

The FOW appears in Cecil's studio. She says she knows who the murderer is, but doesn't tell us. She instead tells us about a citizen called Tristan Cortez whoses tv remote she has hidden behind his eye requiring him to use a knife to remove it. She also claims that meat does not come from animals and doesn't clarify further.

According to Dana, murder is a rare threat in NV. She gives tips for dealing with a murderer the way you would deal with a bear or a wild cat. She says it's good to talk to Cecil again and that she cares for him.

Kevin jams Cecil's signal so that they can talk. He seems to genuinely just want to speak to Cecil again and insists that they are friends. He says that Cecil should try and see things from his point of view ("I mean not literally. Not like, pull your eyes out and jam them still bloody into my skull.") Kevin tries to use a sports metaphor but has a poor grasp on sports. Basketball is on ice in NV. Kevin doesn't know what ice is.

Kevin says he always tries to see things from multiple points of view, even if that means sympathising with the murderer. He says that everyone sees and hears things different from their peers. He uses this as a way to say that he was 'equally' hurt by NV revolting against Strex and making him lose his job but forgives Cecil, so he hopes Cecil with forgive him and allow them to start getting along. He then audibly smiles. Cecil is horrorified and unjams the signal.

[kylo-wrecked]

@iomadachd :// { cont'd from here! }

— ☾ —

When you were a mountain, everything below you looked fake, like a city from an airplane window or a little plastic model. At least, that's what Ben was beginning to see now that the band was on top of the world. He didn't yet lavish in the potent exclusivity and prestige that came with flying business class and being given this and that; praise, acclaim, hugs from people whose lives you had apparently changed, but he'd realized the distance it initiated between him and the rest of the world. The little world in which Ben himself was once a tiny person from a tiny backwater town he missed like a shirt that no longer fit. He got too big. They'd do Bonnaroo next year if the fest in Cantonica worked out. 

Vicrul told columnists, media correspondents, YouTubers, and anyone else who'd listen that the Knights of Ren were 'genuinely, really excited to be here,' and then they'd all 'mug' for the camera, posing like Power Rangers, racking up six million views on TikTok before the festival had even begun. And the band was wild with excitement. They tornadoed from tent to tent, trailer to trailer, smoking anything they could find, provided it was green, swapping clothes, wearing each other's road equipment like hats, wearing Barrza’s cymbals like hats, checking behind each other's knees for ticks, arguing about who got to shower and when, and that's when Ben was Ben. He was Kylo when he walked onto the peninsula of the south stage and looked out at the sea of tiny people undulating and ululating like cats in heat, when the band was fifteen seconds from counting off their first set of the night, and he had to adjust the mic (again), which was always too short, but only needed to reach as far as the Fernandes anyway, and gravely regarded the culture junkies determined to suffocate in home-made replicas of the Knight's masks. 

The Knights of Ren weren't allowed to perform without the masks. They couldn't show up at a red-carpet event, on a talk show, or in a Starbucks without them. So, any time Ben got to spend unencumbered in Canto Fest's milieu of artists and performers, some of whom he'd rip his heart out for, couldn't be squandered. If fucking Baby Ariel asked him if he was having 'the best time,' he could say, 'yup,' and it'd be true. He was wearing shirts with holes in them the size of tumors. He was taking showers at 2 AM every night and waking up at 6 AM with an eight-string guitar in his arms every morning. He got to meet Richard Fucking David James. Moses Sumney. He was buzzing, and it wasn't all molly. 

When he couldn't take the volume of all the tiny people dancing under toothpick and cupcake paper tents in the distance stretching farther by the day, the sight of too many feet in flashy socks and Crocs, the hiss of kombucha on tap, Ben sailed away on the last of his high and deflated in the green room, sliding into a fat orange cat of an armchair, sinking until his back rubbed against the bottom cushion, and his mud-spattered heels dug into about two centimeters of road rug. Leila joined him a minute later. 

He glanced at her from the side of his squished profile dubiously. Even from his gelastic slouching posture, his eyes were penetrating.  

"Are you quoting 'Sword' at me?" he mused, propping his shaggy black head on the tufted chair arm to look at her properly. "Sickening."

But he couldn't maintain a straight face for long. A crooked smile unfurled across it, which, due to the nature of the outdoor festival, had finally seen some sun. The grin was unsuited to the gravity of his features, but given he'd never been told to fix his ears, nose, or teeth, maybe that was the appeal.

"How's you?" Ben asked, shifting in reverse at least until his neck reached the flossy cushioned back. His shirt rolled up in the process, giving Leila a brief peek of what was either a bad tattoo or a scar on his hip.

"You did good out there,” he said, referring to Alecto’s afternoon adrenaline rush. “Sorry they pelted you, though.”

He grinned graciously or apologetically. 

"Those 8oz bottles hit like bullets, don’t they? Our drummer says crowds like that only throw that many at women and queers. You ever throw 'em back? She bats them back at the audience sometimes."

Ben lowered his voice and looked at his hands. Maybe the molly was still in him after all.

"Anyway, you're good. If your music isn't pissing someone off, you haven't accomplished anything." Ben shrugged and nodded toward one performer greatly preoccupied with the inch-wide strip of fabric between her ass cheeks. "I mean, you could be doing that all day."