#mordred: why don't you love me emrys???

[kats-fic-recs]

Merlin/Merthur Fic Rec

The part no one cares about: Did I take almost a year off? Yes. No big reason why, just got like crazy busy and kinda forgot this blog existed. But I found out that one of my old Merlin lists had only privated works on it and since I recently got back into Merlin, I decided to make an updated one :)

The part everyone cares about:

take me up, cast me away

In which Merlin has a selective understanding of the term banishment, Arthur needs to lock his doors, and neither of them are half as good at mending themselves as they were at breaking in the first place.

what is this feeling

“Get out of my sight, and don’t come back until you can prove to me why I should allow you to remain in my service.”

Merlin stares at Arthur, confused. His tone was ominous, and it certainly sounded like a threat, but Merlin can’t quite work out what part is supposed to have him shaking in his boots. He’s halfway back to Gauis’ chambers when it dawns on him: Arthur actually thinks this stupid, degrading job is something he would be willing to fight for - as though Merlin’s life wouldn’t be complete without the honor of scrubbing the sheets Arthur manages to soil on a disturbingly regular basis.

In which it takes Merlin a bit longer to warm up to Arthur than it does in canon, but he gets there in the end.

Don't Lose My Number

“Merlin,” comes Arthur’s voice when he picks up the phone, “the Micro Wave is beeping again.”

Awake

King Arthur sleeps in Avalon, waiting to return at the hour of Albion's greatest need. But once a year he awakes and spends a single day with Merlin, who will never, ever leave him.

Strike of Lightning

Uther's commandment was very simple: If there should come a day when Arthur met his soulmate, he would drive a sword through their chest and kill them on sight.

A Study in Natural Philosophy

It wasn't all that unusual for people to hide their daemons; Merlin, however, seems to be taking it a little far.

to the world that never let you be

When Arthur notices the scars on Merlin, he sets off to find out why a servant of all people has such marks and discovers that Merlin might not be all that he seems.

to the point of fear

If the king is so concerned about Merlin,” he asks, looking at Leon, “Why does he always take him along on quests and patrols? It’s not necessary to bring a servant, and he’s clearly worried—”

Leon smiles. “We’ve often asked the same thing,” he says, and shrugs. “But I don’t think Merlin would allow himself to be left behind, so any argument is moot.”

“He could order him,” Mordred says.

“Merlin would just follow,” Leon says. “It’s easier to include him from the start. Sometimes, I think those two just need to be close to each other. Hard enough to keep them apart anyway, even at the beginning, when they were just constantly sniping at each other.”

When Mordred looks back, Arthur’s arm is around Merlin’s shoulder, and he is smiling broadly. Merlin’s eyes are bright and focused on Arthur, and his lips are tugged upwards, as if he can’t quite stop himself.

Merlin loves Arthur to the point of fear, Mordred realises

say you'll still be by my side

“Are you sure you can’t do a bit of magic?” Arthur asks. “I promise I won’t behead you for it.”

“Very reassuring,” Merlin says. “Truly, that’s an extreme act of mercy on your part, my Lord. It’s almost enough to convince me you aren’t a dollophead.”

“What use are you,” Arthur mutters.

Or:

The druids call Merlin Emrys. Arthur isn't sure why they think his hapless manservant is some sort of powerful sorcerer, but it's certainly a good way to improve Camelot's relationship with the druids. It's only a little bit of a lie, surely.

Except it turns out that it's not a lie at all.

[fluffypotatey]

You know what I wish we'd seen?

More positive actively involved magic users.

Like, we know the Druids support Emrys, though they seem more like a pacifist, non-combatant party (aside from some outliers like Kara, Mordred, Alvarr), and other magic users/beings like Anhora, Grettir, Mab, they all seem to be neutral. They acknowledge Emrys as a superior power, but they don't seem to actively participate for better or worse. And all other sorcerers are usually antagonistic. But why can't we have the other side? I'm sure there has to be some who decide to take Merlin's side. Maybe they don't entirely trust Arthur, maybe they aren't too certain of a Pendragon, but dude, it's fucking Emrys. If Emrys is supporting him, there's gotta be something to him, right?

Let Merlin have people helping him, other sorcerers who slip him spells that are too powerful for them, maybe he can do something with it, passing him information about plots they've heard through the sorcerers' grapevine, even helping him thwart some of the ambushes and traps. Maybe they aren't brave enough to live in Camelot 24/7 like Merlin, but they take turns bringing him messages and supplies, and to get their "marching orders," such as they are.

Also, imagine the look on Arthur's face when he finds out he has a magic Praetorian Guard that answers to his manservant.

yeah see, that's one of the big issues that's always bothered me. like we (the audience) are told that magic is not evil but rather is something as integral as nature. but more often than not, a lot of the antagonist we meet are magic users and most of the time they are power hungry people. i mean, i totally understand the sorcerers who seek out revenge for Uther and by proxy Camelot, but we only either get these types of sorcerers or the sorcerers whom the show portrays as only evil.

it is, frankly, impossible for the magic community to be full of only evil and vengeful sorcerers. there's got to be more diversity than that, bbc 🙄 you're telling me that there are no somewhat powerful magic users living in Albion helping others anyway they can and don't seek to help aid Merlin in anyway. and i mean aid him since s1. by s5 it looked like he was actually getting some help, but they were still sorcerers who fell a little bit in the gray area or just never interacted with anyone other than Merlin.

maybe have Lancelot befriend another sorcerer while he was away from Camelot and sort of sneak him in to help save the kingdom from Morgana and Morgause in s3. maybe Elyan, who had left Camelot pre-s1, have some magic friends that we meet in s4.

tbh, my big issue is that with how much the show tells us, the audience, that magic does have positive impacts and isn't evil, none of the characters besides Gaius, Merlin, and Lancelot actually know that (as far as i'm aware). literally any time Arthur considers that maybe magic isn't what his father claimed it to be, he ends up going back to those prejudices and ideas Uther propagated because "magic killed my father," "magic killed my mother" (still super salty), "magic corrupted morgana," "magic wants me dead." when in reality, that's far from the truth, and Merlin then has to continue to hide a part of himself from people he cares for and loves dearly because all they've ever known and seen is "evil magic people."

just....bbc, explain to me how Arthur was supposed to bring the so-called "Golden Age" to Albion where there's peace between magic users and non-magic users alike if he, himself, believed magic was inherently evil???? how is Arthur the Once and Future King if he never repealed the ban on magic or began working with sorcerers? and i'm saying this as someone who loves the character, but why did we, the audience, not get a chance to really see Arthur break away from his father's prejudices on magic until the series finale?

it just bugs me. there are so many moments where it looks like maybe Merlin has an ally that's pro-magic and pro-unity and wants to help fulfill the prophecy, but then they either become one-time side characters or fucking die. never seen or heard from again. maybe i just want a character or two to stick and maybe give Merlin the support group he needs?

por favor, bbc

[the-king-and-the-druidess]

THE NAME OF THE SEA

"Morgana, calm down. Calm down. Please."

Mordred was trying to soothe her another fit of anger. "You're wasting your strength instead of saving it," he urged her. "Words don't give you anything. Deeds matter." He understood it all too well in Camelot.

There were a lot of good words and so few deeds.

They were alone in the dim hall, except for a couple of silent Saxons on guard. Mordred was standing at the entrance, and Morgana was impatiently pacing the hall, her black train dragging on the floor. From her steps, the candle flames swayed from side to side. From her words, the soul of a weaker person would have disintegrated into a thousand ice fragments.

Morderd overheard her screams and exclamations, almost laments behind closed doors and could not help but come in, although it was painful for him to hear all this. Not because of Arthur or Emrys she was cursing, but because of Morgana herself. She hurt herself with it alone.

"That's right, Mordred. Deeds." She didn't remind him of his betrayal–she knew how to forgive if she wanted to. "Do you know how many years I have spent alone and in silence? And all because of them? Sometimes I just can't hold back anymore!.. And I do not understand why I should. It's stronger than me." Morgana turned sharply to him, studying the blank expression on his face. "If I'm so terrible, then leave." She sighed sharply. "I won't hold you back."

Morgana looked away, focusing on the dancing candle flame, waiting. Preparing.

Mordred tensed up. A painful pause.

And then he went to the big table in the center of the hall and sat down, pulling the maps of Camelot towards him.

He won't make that mistake again.

"Let's see where they can advance to attack?" Mordred suggested as if nothing had happened, trying to make his voice sound as usual.

Morgana, like her name, was like the sea–destructive and formidable in the season of storms, all-consuming; and calm and soft, embracing and enveloping you with its charm in calm days. You just have to wait it out.

Mordred himself has learned to endure anything. And Morgana's anger and darkness still could not darken the memory of the light that he loved in her. Maybe they made it even brighter. He felt pity for Morgana and it made him love her.

Morgana let out a silent sigh of relief. He didn't leave. They will be together until the end.

"Let's see," she even smiled at him and sat down next to him on the bench. The anger and uncertainty are gone. She knew that they would come back, but now she was calm, released and so tired.

The raven sitting on a perch by the throne cawed, as if approving of them, as if pleased that no one had gone anywhere.

Morgana put her ungloved hand on his hand.

"What do you think?" she asked, however, not looking at the map.

Mordred sighed inside himself. They were able to overcome this storm.

"It seems likely to me that they will choose this place in the mountains," he pointed his finger at the inscription "Camlann" in poison green ink, and then looked up at his lady. "We should take that advantage."

Her eyes were shining.

"You're so smart, my winter prince," she told him mentally. "I agree. We will move to Camlann."

Mordred smiled a little.

"Why do you call me that? You know perfectly well that I'm not a prince." He replied in her mind; their mental connection was something more than just a conversation, something closer.

"Who says you can't become one? I'm the queen and I can make you a prince. You're nobler than any of those bastards out there in the palaces." Morgana could turn even a compliment into a shadow.

In fact, she called Mordred that because his cold eyes, his calmness and restraint that alone could quell her flame reminded her of winter. And also because when he returned to her, it was winter.

Morderd stroked her palm with his thumb and said nothing.

She was so strange. And he's even stranger. What kept him by her side was more than just revenge–when Kara will be finally avenged, Mordred knew that this would not be the end, that he would not go away from Morgana. He would save she, as she had once saved him.

They came up with a plan and strategy together, believing with all their heart that Camelot would be defeated and it all would finally end.

Then they went to her bedroom to spend one of the last nights together, the witch and her outcast knight, before finally plunging into the sea of oblivion in a place they have chosen themselves.

[weakforarwen]

Arthur's Bane (Part 2)

The first episode's more interesting than this one, probably because of Gwen.

I can't understand Mordred. He was helping a slave trader, yet it seemed like his goal was really to meet Morgana. Was he initially going to offer her his services? Did he want to be reunited with the woman who saved him and cared for him in the past? It certainly seemed like Mordred had no one to care for him. But upon meeting Morgana, it didn't seem like he was happy with what he saw. I think he was testing her, figuring out if he wanted to help her or not. He told her they had Arthur but lost him just to watch her reaction. She immediately lost it. Mordred even told her to calm down. I hate it when men do that.

What was Mordred hoping to accomplish? Maybe he didn't have a plan? He just wanted to meet Morgana, see if she could be reasoned with? Figure out the kind of person she had become? Kill her? He wouldn't. He had looked truly happy to see her again. Despite their opposing views, he told Morgana in With All My Heart that he wished she would one day find the love and compassion which used to fill her heart. Perhaps he truly cared for her, but knew she had to be stopped.

If Mordred hadn't intended to kill Morgana, did he only stab her to save Arthur? That scene was so weird. It looked like he had meant to stab her in front of Arthur all along. Was that his goal? To become a knight of Camelot? Had he known Arthur would go look for his men? That doesn't make sense either. Perhaps he saw an opportunity and took it. He wanted to repay his debt to Arthur and he wanted to stop Morgana. He chose his side. But it looked so intentional... like he wanted to prove his loyalty to Arthur. He told Merlin:

Because Arthur is right. The love that binds us is more important than the power we wield. Morgana had forgotten that.

If Mordred knew so much about the druids, did he know of Emrys's role in all this? Did he know his own? Was he trying to prevent it? Was he giving Arthur a chance to show him he was better than Morgana?

There's something so weird about Mordred and Merlin. Mordred thought Merlin feared Mordred's powers or that Mordred would reveal his secret? That's how Mordred explained Merlin's distrust of him. Mordred told Morgana that: "Sorcery frightens people. Even some of those who claim to support it". He was speaking of Merlin right? That proves he didn't know what his and Merlin's destiny were, or Arthur's.

When Merlin and Arthur were injured by Morgana, Mordred carried Arthur to safety but left Merlin behind. Yet Gwaine didn't think of checking in on Merlin either... Was Mordred forgetting about Merlin intentional, or, like Gwaine, did they "forget" so Merlin could speak to the Diamair?

I also can't understand Merlin. He was incredibly angry with Arthur for not killing Mordred when he had the chance, but why didn't he just kill Mordred himself? He could've created a chance. Why did someone else have to do it for him? His exchange with the Diamair baffled me:

D: Is there anything you wish to ask me? M: No. I don't think it would be good. D: You are wise, Emrys. Your wisdom will live long in the minds of men. M: Wait... There is one question. If Mordred is not Arthur's Bane, then, who is? D: Himself.

I'm sorry, but how was Merlin wise for not asking the Diamair any questions? He thought Mordred would kill Arthur because of Kilgharrah, so he had already let knowledge of the future influence his decisions. Perhaps had he asked the key of all knowledge for confirmation that Mordred would kill Arthur, he would've decided to kill Mordred himself. This show is so clueless. Emrys's wisdom will live long in the minds of men? We all think he's a fucking idiot. HE was Arthur's bane.

I'm reminded of what the druid seer said in the previous episode:

For even as Camelot flowers, so the seeds of her destruction are being sown. The prophets speak of Arthur's bane. You would do well to fear it, for it stalks him like a ghost in the night. Unless you act quickly, Emrys, even you cannot alter the never-ending circle of his... fate.

"Never-ending circle", so there was no hope for Arthur, right? If it's a circle, it doesn't matter at what you start, you always end up right where you began. But that sentence is prettier than it is logical. If it's never-ending, does that mean Arthur's fate is still being written? Does it mean he has lived multiple lives? What does it mean exactly? It's total nonsense. I get that Arthur's fate was a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy, hence the "circle", but "never-ending"? Because no matter what, it never changed? All attempts to alter it ended the same way?

Also, spare a thought for Morgana here. She went through all this trouble to find the Diamair but, a) she couldn't find it and got stabbed in the back by the only human she actually liked, b) even if she had found it, all she would've learned was that Arthur's bane was "himself". What could have she possibly done with that information? Can you imagine her reaction?

I was surprised by how human Morgana was in this episode. I was surprised that she felt any kind of sympathy for Rudan and Sefa. I think the writers made a last ditch effort to humanize Morgana a bit. In season 4, there were a few moments where she showed some humanity (like with Queen Annis, or when she told Merlin she understood loyalty but had no one left to be loyal to), yet, this season, between Mordred, Aithusa, and her imprisonment, she was more human than ever - crazy, but more relatable than ever. The Gwen episodes, for example, portrayed her in a more sympathetic light too.

Lastly, there's nothing much to say about Gwen in this episode. Gaius was right when he said she took a risk with Sefa. However, like Gwen pointed out: "Wars cannot be won without risks.". She caught Rudan in the end. She believed in the love of a father.

It's interesting that, in this episode, Gaius warned Gwen of what was to come:

Gaius: It is a call for victory over the enemies of the Old Religion. G: I thought the Druids were a peaceful people. Gaius: For the most part they are. But for some, the Great Purge changed that. Some blame Uther for their suffering. G: But he has long been dead. Gaius: Some believe that Arthur is no different from his father. Sorcery is still outlawed... for them, little has changed. G: So Ruadan believed it was his sacred duty to fight my husband. Gaius: More than that. There are those who believe that Arthur is destined to die by a Druid's hand. Perhaps Ruadan thought he was that man. G: Well, then, he was mistaken.

There is something painfully naive about Gwen's last words.

After this episode, Gwen was back to being Arthur's shadow. In The Disir, she told Arthur to ignore the words of the druid, even after she learned in this episode that the druids weren't to be ignored. Also, in The Disir, she didn't know why anyone would be upset with Arthur's reign when, in this episode, Gaius had told her. Bad writing, or did she not take Gaius seriously? It seemed to me like she had, at least, taken Gaius's words about magic still being banned in Camelot seriously, like she reflected on them, perhaps wondered if it shouldn't be banned.

"He was mistaken." This sentence says it all, right? To Gwen, it proved Rudan had been delusional, and that the druids weren't infallible or to be trusted blindly. But delusional people are still dangerous.

Gaius is also someone who would do well to take the druids seriously. If the druid seer showed Merlin that Mordred would, at best, injure Arthur, why was he so dismissive of Mordred? He should've been cautious. It's like Gaius's job was to be contrary. He told Gwen many believed Arthur would die at the hands of a druid. Was that not a warning to Gwen?

Sadly, there's no Arwen in this episode. I wanted Arthur to learn of what Gwen did while he was away and to have him praise her for her quick and bold thinking...