#mordreds bangers

[scims-stuff]

dimension 20 really says "having people to care for and having them care for you in return is more valuable than anything" almost every season huh

like every single quote/moment that makes me tear up has to do with how much someone cares for someone else

[xxgalacticambitionsxx]

listening to mordred's lullaby by heather dale was a terrible idea because i've got it stuck in my head and i want it out!!!

[cbk1000]

So what exactly is it about Merlin and Arthur that make them so ship-worthy, sparking million-word fanfics? Why does it remain one of the most popular fandoms? Why do you never seem to tire of them as a writer? (Not that I am complaining or anything. I just find the loyalty fascinating considering how much new stuff is coming out every day).

Bradley and Colin and their chemistry together as performers certainly is an important aspect of the popularity of that specific ship, but I think the endurance of the Merlin fandom as a whole is due primarily to two main things, which are: that tragic ending, and the unrealised potential of the show.

The primary consensus amongst Merlin fans if you ask them about a piece of media they're still obsessing over, twelve years after it ended, is, "BBC Merlin is terrible; it's so good." The premise and characters are interesting. There are some absolute banger lines. There are bits and pieces of it that are good. But as a whole, it's a muddled piece of trash (I still love you, BBC Merlin, don't worry). Uther is a tyrant who has committed literal genocide, and they make the main villain a woman who is a part of the oppressed class of people that he's indiscriminately murdering. Women in general get to be one of two things: love interest, or moustache-twirling villain. Arthur grows as a person only for the writing to immediately walk back that growth, usually for a cheap joke. The major narrative arcs, the most familiar, identifiable aspects of Arthurian legend in the cultural consciousness (Lancelot, the love triangle, the fall of Morgana, Mordred's betrayal, etc.) are either barely present (see: Lancelot's two seconds of screentime) or completely devoid of believable character motivation (see: Mordred suddenly turning on Arthur because he executes a woman who committed terrorism who it turns out was someone Mordred knew as a kid and completely forgot about till the moment he saw her in her jail cell).

When something is, in some ways, quite good, and in a lot of other ways, hot garbage, it leaves a wide-open sandbox for fans to play in. I think if the show were much more well-written, and consistently so, the fandom would have died out years ago. But instead, we never saw the Golden Age of Camelot. We never saw Albion united. We never saw Merlin and Arthur reunited. We were left, at the end, with one main character dead, and the other centuries later still waiting for a person the show literally describes as his other half to come back to him. People haven't moved on because they spent five seasons watching a silly, stupid family show to see its main character fail at what he was literally prophesied to achieve and hold his best friend while he died. We don't even know for sure in the end that Arthur came back to him. We see Merlin alone, in modern day, at the lake, still waiting for him, with no indication that Arthur is rising again. And for people watching the show as it aired, the BBC delivered this nut punch on Christmas Eve.

I think it's about what the show didn't do, and the space that creates for fans to come in and do it themselves, over and over again.

Also, personally, I'm trying to self-soothe.

[princess-ibri]

For the Descendants kids with horrible and trashy names, how would you name them? From books and movies.

So I'll just go ahead and give how I changed each name for My Canon Descendants AU, to make them feel more like their own character/fit better with the og movies time periods/cultures. I didn't give them all unique names as the point of the project was to translate the Descendants kids into the actual movies, not make full OCs, (though I did end up making a few of those anyway xD) but I tried to at least adjust them.

Mal--Mallow (to go with the Nature name theme the Three Good Fairies had going on with their own names/Briar Rose)

Audrey I kept as it was actually a Medieval name!

Evie-- Eva, it's a pretty easy fix to more period accurate/Germanic sounding

Doug -- Doleful, to fit better with the Dwarfs Attribute names, plus he seemed kinda down in the first movie so the meaning felt like it fit

Carlos I kept because honestly I felt like it could fit in universe if Cruella's husband was a Spanish man, which he conceivabley could be

Jay--Jaamil, and no not because of Twisted Wonderland that just happened by accident xD

They orginally had Aladdin's deleted sin be named Aziz but there was already an Aladdin character named that in the TV show who was a villain so I changed it to Ahmed, like one of the other Arabian Nights heroes

Ben--I changed from Benjamin to Benedict as that was more French/period appropriate

Honestly I could 100% see Gaston naming his sons after himself so I kept Gastons 1 and 2 but I changed Gil to Gilbert (French pronunciation of course)

Lonnie...oh Lonnie. I changed her name to Chi, as with her patronymic of Li she would be Li Chi, which sounded similar to Lonnie but would actually be Chinese and is the name of a girl in a Chinese legend who slays a dragon, which was what I based her hypothetical movie plot on

Chad I changed to Charles, easy enough. Much more elegant and formal

Jane I just changed to Janet to make it a little fancier/Frenchier as well xD

Dizzy I changed to Daisy (though I suppose since she's French based, it really should be Marguerite...eh Daisy can be the nickname)

Uma I kept cuz honestly its a good name and her song is a banger 👌

Harry is fine, good pirate name, short for Henry, which also works. Harriet was fine too, just made her and Harry twins and made CJ go by her first name only of Calista.

Honestly with a pirate dad named Smee Squeeky and Squirmy also work, though they're definitely nicknames.

Celia works fine, it fits with the time/culture of 1920s New Orleans, though I did change Freddie to Frederique.

Getting into some book characters now:

Artie I changed to Amhar, a lesser known son of Arthur (could have done Mordred but as the kid was meant to be heroic I decided to go with Amhar, plus it started with A x)

Mad Maddy honestly isn't a bad name, but I did change it to Matilda to be a bit more Medieval sounding, plus linked her to Matilda of the Night, a Medieval witch legend.

(And apparently there's gonna be a son of Morgana Le Fay in the new movie named... Morgie. My gosh. Well we'll change that right back to Yvain. Her actual son, no she's not Mordred's mother no matter what the movies try to tell you she's his aunt and I will die on this pedantic hill)

Hadie I instantly changed to Zagreus. He's the literal son of Hades and goodness its such a better name. Same with changing Herkie to Hyllus. Also an actual son of Hercules and doesn't sound like a euphemism for throwing up.

Allie I changed to Mary Jean after the Real Alice's grandaughter, and when I made my Queen of Hearts Kid D4 hadn't been announced yet so I named her Aceline (a pun on Ace of Hearts)

Ruby and Anxelin weren't terrible names so I kept them, just made Anxelin a Dark Kingdom name xD (and apparently they're giving Rapunzel a third daughter in the new movie? Her name is just Zellie though...so I think I'll just keep these two. Zellie could definitely work as being short for Anxelin and hey, Rapunzel had twins in the actual fairytale so two just works)

Wrapping it up:

Claudine isnt too bad and fits the time period but I changed her parent from Frollo to his brother Jehan cuz that man should never ever get to be with any woman.

Clay Clayton I changed to Cecil after the actual Clayton character in the books who wasn't that bad of a guy.

Yzla works fine as a name for Yzma's daughter. I just changed Zevon to Yzon to match better and not sound so much like he escaped the 23rd century

Ginny Gothel I just lengthened out to Ginevra to sound more fantastical

I didn't actually do anything for Pocahontas as it always kinda controversial to touch. But if I did I'd of course just make her descendant her actual son Thomas Rolfe and apparently they gave Ratcliffe a son named Rick? So...we'll change his name to Richard or--well one sec let me see if Actual Historical Governor Ratcliffe had any kids.

OK! Looks like he didn't but he did die horribly. My Gosh.

Anyway I think that's everyone!

[jq37]

The Report Card – Fantasy High Junior Year Ep 12/13 A Moonar Yulenear Miracle

Welcome back to Fantasy High where last week, I was MIA because I was on a girls trip–a reason I think the Bad Kids would very much approve of. 

Luckily, we can easily gloss over what we missed in a quick series of bullet points because, while it was an absolute banger of an episode (eat your dice Brennan!), it was fairly straightforward plotwise:

The Bad Kids were dropped into a creepy, dreamlike version of Mordred Manor which was created by a semi corrupted Cassandra who was trying to create a safe place for the Bad Kids to escape but having her intentions warped.

The Bad Kids did a fetch quest, fighting monsters and dodging Baron while they found the pieces of the pride armor curse. Once they got them together, they had a hefty piece of free infernal magic that Adaine could use as a spell component for a major thing–maybe even freeing Lydia from Bakur.

Cassandra assured Kristen that as long as Kristen is alive and believes in the Cass version of her, she can’t be fully corrupted (which is seemingly what Baron was trying to do–kill Kristen so Cass could comeback as his “stark father” the Nightmare King)

Cass also sent Kristen images of her wedding–where she got Kalina as a kitten as a present. Kalina once again reiterated that Ragh is the only name she can say before breaking her own neck so she wouldn't attack Kristen. 

Got it? Good. We reconvene with the Bad Kids as they’re escaping this briefcase dimension and all of their loved ones are calling out for them, but they all decide to take a brief detour to hell to get some answers about the pride armor first–just what every parent wants for their kids! Adaine stores the infernal energy in the Sword of Sight and Planeshifts everyone to hell.

They pop into Fig’s Hellish Recording Studio and slurp down some boiling hot grapefruit seltzers before recruiting Baby to help them find the research books they need. Baby trashed them all and, unfortunately, it’s trash day so they all have to book it as the dump truck ambles towards the dumpster. It looks like it’s gonna be a close call but then–BLAM! The dump truck is vaporized by a plume of fire from the Goldenhoard! Yup, Bill Seacaster is here and he’s tattooing one of those cheesy bumper stickers onto his ship's ass: My son is a Maximum Legend at the Aguefort Adventuring Academy. He got Fabian’s message after all! 

Father and son are delighted to see one another but there’s still a lot of research to do so Kristen goes dumpster diving for books. She gets a 25 Religion and then a 20 (not nat) History while Adaine gets a 22 History and Riz gets a 27. Here’s what they collectively learn about the armor they came to research:

The sin armors were collected by Gorthalax as trophies for his hall.

Each was created by a different infernal deity to punish a mortal for the associated sin.

The armor of Pride was created to punish an elf named Athrenriel.

The Armor allowed him to win tons of battles but every battle ruined his reputation and the happiness of his family.

Eventually someone gave away the armor (maybe directly to Gorthalax, it’s unclear) but that caused the curse to move to the bloodline of the family itself and it’s been passed down patrilineally since.

The curse is known as the “curse of humiliation” and it usually affects the oldest boy in the family once their dad passes–which is why Gilear was a stud as a younger man and then he morphed into the yogurt man we all know and love. 

The best that they can tell, some combination of Gilear putting the armor back on and Fig calling for the power in the Night Yorb fight/being an archdevil had some weird magical effect that pulled the curse back onto the bloodline and got her involved despite her not being blood related to Gilear. 

This is just my interpretation but what makes the most sense to me is that because the armor was meant to help you win battles at the expense of your family’s rep, once Gilear put on the armor and rebooted the curse to its default state, he got really lucky and Fig, as his family, suffered for it. 

Anyway, the party catches up Bill on the whole Kipperlily situation (he thinks Kristen should just kill her and Kristen isn’t NOT thinking about it), the shrimp jump, and the Cloud Rider (which he doesn’t know much about but he does use it as an opportunity to teach Fabian a fun way to threaten his banker). He also gives them all guns–much to Adaine’s delight.

Fig remembers that she has to figure out her pact and asks Bill, a Warlock patron himself, for help with that. He’s happy to help her cheat at school and for 40 gp (borrowed from Fabian of course) writes her an agreement on the back of one of his crewmembers and flays it off (nobody liked that). Somehow, I don’t think Zara–who wouldn’t even let her be a Warlock of Cassandra because that didn’t feel right–is gonna let this slide but hey, it’s not my grade in jeopardy here. 

On Kristen’s suggestion, Fabian also gets a touchup on his Maximum Legend neck tattoo. He barely manages to stay conscious (truly so barely–Riz is so anxious about Bill using a dragon-sized tattoo gun on him that he gives Fabian disadvantage while trying to be supportive) but with the help of his friends he succeeds and, for his troubles, he now has a gold tattoo that allows him to safely handled cursed gold–no more dragon madness for him!

That super important business out of the way, the group splits up. Fabian and Gorgug stay with Bill so Bill can prove a point about the wisdom of buttering up ramps (just go with it) while everyone else goes further into the Bottomless Pit to continue investigating the armors of sin–this time in person. There are high rolls all around so here are the highlights again:

The Armor of Pride looks elven in design but it also feels fundamentally infernal. Riz wonders if that means it’s something maybe summer Eladrin related and Brennan says that would check out.  

The other armors don’t really feel seasonal in any way (the Lust armor is a full Gimp suit lol).

When Riz turns on Detect Good and Evil, he can see the weird rune from the dead bodies on the Pride Armor which now also pings as the word Anakarna. It’s the arcane mark on the armor which means that Ankarna is the one who made this armor. 

As he does this scan, he gets a call on his Spy Kids watch–it’s his dad! Just like Fabian, he’s super thrilled but he tries to keep it profesh. His dad (Pok Gukgak, secret agent angel) is understandably concerned that his son is randomly in hell as well as the fact that a god whose name hasn’t been said in a thousand years just had their name pinged by angelic spy tech (the necktie Riz used to cast the spell–all info gets routed back to the home office in heaven). Riz explains everything and his dad offers to help if there’s anything they want him to look up. They ask him to look up Athenriel and Ankarana and Pok is able to do that because he’s freed from the bonds of Oblivati Mori since they found the name themselves. So that’s a new fact we just learned: O.M. applies to celestial and infernal agents too, not just gods themselves. With Pok no longer bound by celestial silence, we get a bunch of info about Athenriel:

He wasn’t a follower of Ankarna as far as they know.

He’s older than the Court of Stars (the government of Falinel).

He’s not in any of the heavens they know of.

He was a druid and built many of the standing stones in Falinel (very probably including  the one they triggered two episodes ago. 

Gilear is related to him patrilineally. 

They also tell Pok about Kalina and Spy’s Tongue Curse and Riz asks Ragh if he’s under that with anyone. Ragh says no adamantly but Pok points out that he wouldn’t be able to say yes even if he was. Pok says that in order to get around a Spy’s Tongue Curse situation, the best strat is to find someone just slightly outside of the group of covered people to get you in the right direction and here’s where I want to cut in really quickly to drop the piece of info from Sophomore Year that I said recently was a loose end which was bugging me and might be relevant. This is a screengrab from the recap I did of SY Ep 4:

So that’s suspicious as hell and also a possible reason that Kalina would want to say Ragh’s name to alert the Bad Kids to someone else. Anyway, back to the story in progress, Riz wonders if Athenriel is Bakur and asks his dad if there's anything connecting the armor being cursed and the Ankarna being corrupted/if Ankarna had a previous form. Pok starts looking it up and is a little confused because Ankarna’s file is a bit weird. It says she (we get the pronoun she in this ep so I’ll be using it now) is associated with the 9 Hells and it says that she doesn’t have any active divine domains (which isn’t weird because she’s dead) but the file is corrupted so he can’t see what the domains are supposed to be (though it seems like there are multiple). 

Riz thinks that maybe Sol could have pulled some shenanigans to snag the sun domain for himself and Pok lays down some facts about gods. Gods–even good ones–are playing a different game from everyone else. They have to when their very existence depends on having worshippers. And gods generally hate collabing with a deity that shares their domain because they were explicitly the competition. 

As they’re having this conversation, they’re exiting the pit and they make it in time to watch Bill hurl Gorgug up a giant ramp in some kind of insane and ultimately inconclusive science experiment. Pok says hi to him via the watch and they make quick plans for Bill to sell criminal secrets to heaven in exchange for gold (what is he even spending it on???? It’s hell!!!). Fig asks one last important question. Is this a Night Yorb situation? Now that the cat’s out of the bag, is it OK to say Ankarna’s name? Pok says it should be fine. The only problem will come if anyone actually starts worshiping her. (Did you hear that Fig?) 

Kristen Planeshifts everyone out of hell before Fabian has a chance to say goodbye to his dad (entirely for the bit) and all of their parents are so relieved that they’re OK. Gilear is even more excited when he learns that his good luck has been nullified and his life can suck again. He feels at peace being back in his comfort zone and firmly believes that he doesn’t deserve good luck AND the best daughter in the world. Fig is worried that Hilariel might leave him now that his luck is bad again but Hilariel was into him BEFORE his glow up so they’re all good. Possibly better than just good if Adaine’s teasing prediction of a baby on the way is more than a bit (Fabian demands she undo it with a div roll and plans to give Gilear a vasectomy with his sword). 

Lydia rolls up and asks what the hell happened because Bakur just tried to jailbreak harder than he has in ages. They start filling her in and offer to try the ritual they talked about in an earlier ep but she says they’ve been through a lot and it’s Fantasy Christmas tomorrow so they should get some rest first. Riz asks if Tracker is OK and they confirm that she and Nara both are when they give her a call. Zayn and Aelwyn are also both fine. Tracker and Nara were, as Fabian suspected, thrown out of the circle as protection by Gal from the pride armor situation. 

Kristen explains to Tracker everything about Ankarna and the corruption and Bakur. Tracker is honestly really sympathetic to Adaine saying the name out loud and triggering everything in a, “Well if you find a dead god’s name you GOTTA say it” kind of way, like it’s as irresistible as popping bubble wrap. 

They talk to Gorthalax who, surprise surprise, ALSO was being tongue tied by Oblivati Mori and can now spill some info. Lotta helpful dads in this episode! Here’s what he’s got:

Ankarna wasn’t a fiendish entity to start with. She fell, just like he did (you’ll recall Gorthalax went from being an angel of temperance to a devil of gluttony). He doesn’t know what her deal was exactly pre-fall though (which seems to be a running theme).

Post fall, she was all about rage and fire and conquering and Bakur was her right hand. Unlike her, Bakur wasn’t Celestial previously.

She had a set of scales that she turned into a warhammer (sounds like justice to war–also, doesn’t Porter have a warhammer? Suspicious).

She took artifacts from other pit fiends about conquest to study them which Gorthalax says is a super weird thing for a god to do. 

Bakur referred to her as a “Mistress to her people” which Gorthalax also finds weird because, generally speaking, gods are more the ones making requests not taking requests as she seemed to be doing (the Bad Kids think this might mean there was an as above, so below situation where her followers morphed her into what she is now).

She was very touchy about her relationship status and once almost merc-ed someone who made a pass at her and had a snide comment about her being married still.

Before everyone goes to bed, Tracker checks in with Kristen and offers to help in any way she can. Kristen asks her to ask Gal about Ankarna and her OG domain and Tracker promises to follow up–now that Oblivati Mori is out the window, she can bring it up during their weekly Zoom meeting no problem. Tracker, like Pok, warns Kristen to be careful to avoid allowing this goddess followers and belief because now that this name is out there, it’s only a matter of time. (FIG, ARE YOU LISTENING???) Kristen thinks maybe it wouldn’t be that bad if they can revert this goddess back to her original, presumably less destructive domain.

While the above conversation was happening, Nara was around so Adaine steered her away from it from getting her to take her and a disguised Aelwyn (“Roma Childa” which Fig shoots down with bazooka level force) to the Court of Stars where her dad apparently works (Note: Her parents are supposed to be clerics, right? I guess they just have no separation of church and state in Falinel, lol). Adaine tells these immortal elves with no concept of finances that she can’t afford to be the Elven Oracle and she’s tapping out because she’s working as an ice cream waitress to scrape together enough money for her basic needs. Nara both vouches for her skills as an adventurer and asks her dad to let her have the 10 barrels of diamonds that are just lying around their house that they don’t have any use for. After briefly clarifying that she (Adaine) was *not* in fact declaring war on Falinel (exhausting, high elves are exhausting), the Council says they’ll convene in a month to discuss whether Oracle should be made a paid position. Their first thought is lawyers but Adaine gets it changed to a dance battle and she gets Fabian assigned as her champion. Fabian agrees, though the text asking him if he’s down stops him from completing his sword vasectomy on Gilear. Better luck next time buddy. 

The next day, it’s the Moonar Yulenear and game time re: the gem in Lydia’s chest. Adaine is going to use the energy in her sword plus Contact Other Plane to make a viewing screen to talk to Bakur. With the spell, they get 5 questions and, of course, being the Bad Kids, they immediately waste two just asking “Sup?”. Riz yells at everyone except for Adaine (and maybe him) to shut up and the real questioning begins.

With their first proper question, they ask Bakur if he was Athenriel. He says yes. They guessed it in one. Second question: What was Ankarna’s previous domain before she was all about conquest? He starts crying scalding tears at hearing her name–the kind of crying that you do when you haven’t heard a loved one’s name in a really long time. He says she was the goddess of giants, long days of plenty, clarity, discernment, judgment, justice, righteousness, clarity, and the conviction to act with the force of the sun. So a serious slide from pretty chill to pretty intense. He also says that her sister was the light of her life and that she was fiercely protective of her. Final question: Was Sol involved in Ankarna’s corruption? Bakur, instead of answering, asks a clarifying question: Do they mean Sol himself or his followers?

At that, Adaine has to make a Charisma save. With help from her friends (including Gorgug’s new Flash of Genius Artificer ability) she just barely makes it. Bakur is going off about gods and followers and weapons and who wields who and Lydia is starting to not feel good so Adaine shuts down the connection right away. Lydia has to make a save and also just hangs on so it’s time for that gem to come out of her chest. 

When they reveal that they have the power to get the gem out properly, Lydia is taken aback and Ragh is in tears, soulfully pleading that they do anything they can to help, and of course they do. Adaine uses the energy stored in her sword from Fig’s curse to gold-seal the gem so it’s no longer in contact with Lydia’s skin. Inside the gem, Bakur reverts back from devil form to being a high elf that looks a lot like Gilear and is terrified of yogurt. 

Fabian volunteers to do impromptu surgery because he has the new anti-cursed gold tattoo and clearly the dice know he’s not anything close to a trained medical professional because he rolls TWO NAT ONES and KILLS LYDIA. But luckily, there’s no I in Team and the other Bad Kids are there to bail him (and, more importantly, Lydia) out. Adaine swoops in with a 13 Portent roll so she doesn’t just pass away on the spot and then Kristen, surprise surprise, casually pops out a Nat 20 to remove this enormous, chronic, burden from Lydia. Saint Kristen does it again. 

Lydia, free from the need for her constant rage for the first time in years, instantly falls asleep. Fabian keeps the gem because of his cursed gold immunity and Adaine uses Nystul’s Magic Aura to make it magically ping as an empty palimpsest to anyone who’s being nosy. 

And with that Fantasy Christmas Miracle, vacation is over and we move into downtime.

Fabian first!

First Track Popularity: 18. Wild success.

Second Track Bard: 23: A+ AND Brennan lets the Dance Battle for Adaine be a school project so he crushes his competition and gets her salaried! Even though he’s wildly wealthy and doesn’t need more money, Adaine declares him her champion for all future dance battles and demands that the position comes with a stipend as well. He’s named the Oracle of Dance and Adaine gets her extra credit from predicting that he becomes the future of dance. Way to pay off a bit.

Third Track Owlbears: 27. Big success!

Fourth Track Fighter: 32. Another A+!

Fifth Track Job: You might be wondering what a job roll is for Fabian since he’s, as I said before, fabulously wealthy. Well, he’s keen to threaten his banker life his dad showed him and with help from Fig as backup (and Adaine telling him where the banker is hiding) shakes him down. Brennan, who I assume is making this up on the spot, says that it’s written in Fabian’s trust contract that he gets a 200 gp advance every time he finds and threatens his banker. Adaine offers to locate him every day if Fabian will split the gold with her. Fig is down to tag along for free.

Adaine’s next–though we’re not going to resolve all of her rolls this episode. 

Now that she’s getting paid, she gives Basrar her two week’s notice and he’s sad to see her go but happy that she’s doing well. Adaine says that she’ll maybe come back to get a summer job for fun and he gives her a Fudgie the Whale cake to celebrate. Aelwyn’s sister senses go off and she can instantly sense that Adaine is having a nice thing without her. Adaine, who wanted to stuff her face with ice cream cake in private, is baffled at her non-divination specialist sister’s sudden supernatural intuition, but invites Aelwyn over to have cake with her. 

Also, with the Oracle job being paid now, Adaine gets to roll 2d10 GP and even if she fails her Oracle track, as long as she rolls for it, and her financial situation will count as Well Off which is great because it was really screwing with her school rolls to not have her finances in check.

First Track Wizard: Dirty 20. A+! And without having to worry about her supplies, she now has time for research and projects and stuff. 

Second Track Spells: This is a wizard mechanic that allows her to get new spells from her spellbook. With Help from Boggy, she rolls high enough to get a new 7th, 6th, 5th, and 4th level spell!

Third Track Mystery: She wants to Investigate Kipperlilly and on an 18, Brennan says that they’ll resolve this at the end of downtime, but she’s starting to put together where their hideouts and meetup stops are. Let’s put a pin in that until next episode. 

Fourth Track: Relaxation Fabian is surprised and honestly adorably thrilled when Adaine shows up at his little relaxation nurse spa day thing. And, this time, it actually takes! Adaine is able to relax so well that she removes 2 stress tokens (which allows her to get rid of two negative stat effects–she’s now down to only 1 stress). I guess money solves all your problems after all. 

[NOTE: Relaxation is supposed to be your last track but, in the AP, Brennan lets Shiv roll Oracle track and she gets a NAT TWENTY. Brennan flavors this as her issuing a ton of new prophecies while she’s at her spa day, haha.]

She closes off her downtime rolls with a sweet scene with Jawbone where she’s finally able to open up to him about the trouble she’s been having because she’s fixed it herself. Jawbone really wants her to know that she can come to him with problems and that she doesn’t have to fix things herself and when she says she likes solving her own problems and that she can still get discounted ice cream for everyone since Basrar let her keep the discount, Jawbone gently rebuffs her. He’s the adult, he buys the ice cream. (And Aelwyn steals the ice cream. Adaine catches her creating a portal to steal more whale cake from the mini fridge because she’s a menace even when she’s not actually there).

Finally for the episode, we move on to Kristen who is back in cleric class after a harrowing break and, as she steps into the classroom she sees an even more harrowing sight: In an all white suit with a Kentucky-fried silver tongue is the new Cleric teacher. None other than Buddy’s grandfather–Bobby Dawn. 

Detention*

Fabian for Killing Lydia

I mean, come on? Double Nat ones? My guy. 

Honor Roll

Kristen for Saving Lydia

The reason Kristen can be such a chaos generator is because and everyone just deals with it is because, at the end of the day, she’s also the best cleric ever hands down. Honorable mention to Adaine for her arcane assistance. 

*I want to give Bobby Detention just for existing but I’m gonna wait for him to do actually do something out of pocket. Somehow, I don’t think I’ll have to wait very long. 

Random Thoughts

Just a few quick notes this week! I haven’t been including this section consistently because I tend to get a lot of my random thoughts out in answering asks that people send me and also I’ve been so busy that by the time I get to the end of the actual recap I’m often like, OK I’m done, lol. But I wanted to take a few minutes this week to include a few thoughts.

Love Pok being just not happy that Adaine has a gun but not being able to say anything because his son is literally wielding his gun. Also lol at Murph saying, “It feels less weird when you call it an arquebus.” That’s why I love referring to it as a glock whenever I can.

I didn’t mention it in the recap proper but, in case it matters, Fig uses her blood to create a…Copy? Clone? Child? Romance Partner?...for Baby named Baby Baby. Truly not sure what their deal is. 

Riz has a thought about whether they can use the power of music to uncorrupt Ankarna and, honestly, not even remotely the craziest possible idea. They have a rockstar on the team and last season a viral shrimp party was an important strategy.  

As much as Fabian is protesting, I think he’d make a great big brother. Also, he’d have a full house again! I think he knows deep down he’d be the most ride or die big bro ever. Did you see how outraged he was last ep upon hearing her hurt Adaine?

I wonder if Gal throwing her clerics out of the circle had more to do with the general badness of the pride armor or her recognizing Ankarna’s mark specifically. Glad Tracker is going to question her. I think they should be exploring all their godly options at this point now that OM is gone. Hell, Kristen should try and ask Helio if he’s still taking her calls. 

We need eyes back on the Rat Grinders ASAP. I’m glad Adaine took initiative there because we still have so many loose ends with them. We did a lot of macro investigating this ep but I’m itching to find out about the BS happening closer to home. What is Kipperlilly up to? Why did Ivy react the way she did to seeing “Lucy”? Is Oisin evil or not and can Adaine date him? All equally important questions. 

If Brennan bided his time and let Emily rage about Porter for two seasons only to lull her into a false sense of security and reveal that he was involved in secret machinations this whole time I’m gonna laugh so hard. 

[forthegothicheroine]

Watch "Paint it Black - The Rolling Stones (Bardcore | Medieval Style Cover) Also: I made a Patreon!" on YouTube

Yet another banger for the Emo Dirtbag Mordred playlist!

[harlequinoccult]

This might be a total coincidence but are you prince lapin? Your icon is familiar from other IF discords. what are your favourite ifs??

ah shit lads ive been found out Yeah, thats me !! the hyperfixation got so strong i needed to write my own

SPEAKING OF. you have opened pandoras box. god have mercy on you. Woe, Interactive Novels be upon ye.

CHOP SHOP by @losergames i fucking love crime. And they way everything is written? mwah. byootiful. like im watching a fucking movie.

WOLF SET FREE by @wolfsetfree-if WULFEBOUND by @wulfebound WEREWOLF NOIR by @canismaxim-games BLOOD MOON by @barbwritesstuff

I AM SO GAY ABOUT WEREWOLF SHIT YOU HAVE NO IDEA.

THE EXILE by @exilethegame I was (and am) hyperfixated on this singular game for a very very long time and my commander is the poorest little meow meow that i love repeatedly throwing against a wall and into a meatgrinder 💖

FIELDS OF ASPHODEL by @chrysanthemumgames I am so deeply unwell over Hades. but also i never noticed the simiarities that persephone and dionysus have and it makes me go insane to think about.

THE NAMELESS by @parkerlyn not only is my own bastard cat thing on an mc the most fun to draw, but it has reawakened my feralty over fae settings and fae creatures. also parker is just like. one of the sweetest people ever created??? illegal. how are they so nice.

THE NORTHERN PASSAGE by @northern-passage not only am i deeply unwell about Lea, but i adore deeply inhuman mcs <- (the transgenderism speaking). I also just like. respect the hell out of kit fr. takes absolutely no bullshit. absolute inspiration.

GREENWARDEN by @fiddles-ifs Bautista. I am unwell. do i have a type? perhaps. shut the fuck up about it. mc is deeply neurotic and a freak (complementary) (affectionate)(relatable)

SPEAKER by @speakergame one of the BEST writers of sibling interaction, hands down. one of the first twine IFs i have ever played and god it is so fuck quality. my god.

EVERYTHING BY @heart-forge oh my god. oooohhhh my fucking god. where do i begin. all of their projects are so fucking good and distinct. i can tell you i am unwell about trigger siruud and valerian and you could probably diagnose me with something but i dont care. i am going to fucking explode their shit is so quality.

EVERYTHING BY @pdrrook how do they do it. no seriously how the fuck do they do it. magic? are they fae? did they sell their soul to the devil? banger project after banger project after banger project. ALL of their shit is quality AND THEY DO NOT MISS. EVER.

THE GRAND HEIST by @thegrandheist-if BRO I FUCKING LOVE CRIME. LOVE BEING A BASTARD.

EVERYTHING BY @jaunefleurwrites fun highschool detectives!!! :) AND THEN MY FUCKING HEART GETS SHATTERED.

LEGEND OF A SAVIOR by @legend-of-a-savior-if THE DRAMA.....THE INTRIGUE......i loved fucked up cults. I loved fucked up shit. I hate my mom. thank u.

EVERYTHING BY @leftski-if bro......the softness of orcs......leftski gets it. everyday i thank them for my FUCKING life. (wolfsbane has werewolf shit, and as you know i am. Gay. About. It.)

VIRTUE'S END by @virtues-end you already fucking know who the fuck i am unwell about if you read the rest of this god damn list. dont fucking @ me. (barghest best helvling)

VENDETTA by @vendetta-if ok hear me out guys. have i mentioned the i love crime. that i love being a nasty crime boy? well jokes on you fucker im a vigilante.

THE KING'S HOUND by @the-kingshound Mordred is my fucking son and if anything happens to him i will kill everyone in this room and then myself.

BASTARD OF CAMELOT by @llamagirl28 the drama.....the fucking drama......my mordred, a literal ten year old has their shit together better than his fucking parents. this is my fucking soap opera. i have my fucking popcorn at the ready.

THE BALLAD OF DEVILS CREEK by @devilscreekballad Okay no jokes, i absolutely and genuinely hope the author of this IF gets to be in a better spot financially and health wise. This IF is so fucking phenomenal and the dedication to the time period without shirking away from sensitive topics is honestly insane. i absolutely wish them the best. 🌻

And finally, what might be the first twine if i ever played-

SCOUT by @anya-dev im crying. im scratching at the floorboards. im crawling on the walls. im barking in a cage. scout is such a fucking interesting post apoc story. the reason is unclear but at the time of the story it doesnt particularly matter. but at the same time it does so much. i want to know SO MUCH. Oliver was the fucking blueprint for my god damn brainrot.

[badsalmonella]

So I watched the filmed version of an older production of Camelot on Youtube and I have taken away:

- I find the first act's pacing in the revival is so good, I felt like that first act went by so breezily compared to this. Maybe it was the actors but the scenes felt stiffer? Made it kind of drag for me.

-I miss the song Follow Me. We couldn't have like incorporated the tune into Merlin death more???

-Actually the whole Nimue scene popped off good for you girlie

-This might get me beheaded on the streets of Arthurian tumblr butttttttt..........I don't mind the lack of magic in the revival because tbh other than 1 scene there isn't reallyyyy a strong magic presence in the OG Camelot either 👀👀👀and even that one scene feels like kind of out of place Merlin and Nimue just come and go SO quickly.

-but I do love the more elaborate sets. Dude WHAT HAPPENED TO THE SETS AT THE LINCOLN CENTER?? 😭

-Young king Arthur was the right choice. I stand by that. Seeing an older King Arthur (with this characterization) is just kind of odd to me.

-no??? Sword fight?????

- I liked act 2 of this old version though. There were some really banger scenes and quotes I wish made it into the revival.

-I also like that Guinevere and Lancelot got a moment to be like "I don't like Mordred get rid of him" 😐

-Okay I know I just said I don't mind the lack of magic, but I also do like the motif of Arthur wanting to be turned into a bird. It makes me 🥺

-I actually like the catalyst for Arthur leaving the castle in both versions. In this one it was more of a choice and it makes it sad when he puts his trust in Lance and Genny to not betray him (and they do). But I also like in the revival how it's purely Mordred's manipulation and scheming. I just love a good scheme and I love seeing Arthur piecing together that he got GOT.

-Actually this proshot I watched cut out Fie On Goodness and Take Me To The Fair. WAR CRIMES.

-I miss Morgan Le Fay :(((

-ALSO THE STAGING OF THIS VERSION OF THE SONG GUINEVERE WAS COOL. Stan.

-It made me miss Andrew, Pippa and Jordan. What a dream team. Bring them back.

-There wasn't enough crazy sexual tension. I just think those three should want to fuck nasty. It just feels right. If they don't it loses something for me. I gotta be honest. Maybe I'm just a lil sicko 😔🤷🏻‍♀️

-But with that being said Aaron Sorkin why did you write out all lines where Arthur states love for Genny AND Lance???? Don't no homo my Camelot you bastard. Oh Jordan Donica, bisexual Lancelot truther, we're really in it now 😔

[allthedoorsareopennow]

You’ve been asking all the mechs enjoyers about their favorites, so tell us some of yours!

that’s so broad I don’t know how to respond to this so I’m just gonna ramble about the mechs

my number one most specialest guy is jonny

closely followed by marius

and then of course theres the drumb

hmmm my favourite album.. probably hnoc though I love all the others in their own way <3 but truly who can beat trans mordred polyamorous pendragons gunfight at the dolorous guard blood and whiskey skin and bone empty trail truly an album with no losers

favourite song.. from ouatis our boy jack. from udad.. hmm I actually like broken horses a lot and underworld blues of course but nothing gives me chills like elysian fields. from hnoc maybe skin and bone? but I’ve been really enjoying gunfight at the dolorous guard recently. from tbi.. from the first half it’s thor then from the second half probably ragnarok ii, love me some good eldritch horror. from ttbt I’ve been enjoying prometheus a lot recently but. I know I shouldn’t like it but lil lemon is a fuckin banger actually. from ttbt2 there’s so many good ones but probably stranger. overall favourite? no fuckin clue tbh

my favourite album character is mordred he deserves a little manslaughter as a treat <3

my favourite recording.. probably spaceport mahon but I have been frothing at the mouth over hnoc live recently

I love how skin and bone is an adaptation of the folk song raggle-taggle gypsies and also how cinder’s song is clearly haul away its a lot of fun as a lifelong folkie to recognise the songs and see how the mechs have made them their own

thanks for the ask!

[bugsinthebayou]

also what is the mechanisms. i have no idea what they are yet somehow.

the mechanisms are a steampunk folk storytelling band of immortal space pirates!

they recreate fairytales/mythos/legends, making them 1. in space 2. more sad and 3. more queer

Once Upon A Time (In Space) is their first album of their main storyline albums, and its fairytales. its about Cinders, Rose Red, Snow White, and tells of a war against the brutal and cruel tyrant Old King Cole. there are space lesbians.

Ulysses Dies At Dawn is their second main album, and one of my favorites. this one is greek mythology. it follows along ulysses and the suits. ulysses is referred to with they/them. the concept of this album is really, really fucking cool but i cant summarize it well

High Noon Over Camelot is their third of their mains and one of my favorites. this one is arthurian legend. its like a western. arthur/lancelot/guinevere cowboy polycule. mordred is trans. galahad did nothing wrong. literally every song is a banger (<- he says that about every album)

The Bifrost Incident, the fourth and final of their proper storyline albums. this one is also one of my favorites. its norse myth, and tells of old lady odin building a train (the ratatosk express) to go through the bifrost to cut travel between planets time from three months to three days. unfortunately, the train, with all high-ranking asgardians on it, doesnt come out the other side. lyfrassir edda my beloved. loki and sigyn are space wives.

now for there other albums !

Tales To Be Told Volumes I and II. these are extra songs that takes place in the setting of the last four albums but weren't part of the storyline, are just extra little stories, or are backstories to the mechanisms themselves.

Death To The Mechanisms. the final album, in which they all die.

so yeah! the mechs are super fuckin' cool. they have lore and stories themselves!!! and its!!!! argh!!!!!!! <333

their mechanisms are what makes them immortal !! they commit So much crime

jonny d'ville - captain first mate - he/him - little feral bastard. he has committed every crime in existence except for the sexual ones - i love him so very much - mechanism is his heart

gunpowder tim - master at arms - he/him - he blew up the moon <3333 king <333 - gender. - his mechanism is his eyes

ashes o'reilly - quartermaster - they/them - woowoo arson !!!!! - mechanism: lungs

the toy soldier - we arent sure what it does but its here - it/its - its just like me fr - mechanism. uhh. ig everything but voice box? idk if it counts because it wasnt mechanized by the doc.... like its still a mechanism but does it Have a mechanism

marius von raum - doctor - he/him - his poor kneecaps... - mechanism: right arm

raphaella la cognizi - science officer - she/her - shes so pretty its unreal. would let her do unethical science on me. - mechanism: wings

ivy alexandria - archivist - she/her - shes the reason i cut and died my hair !! she does the least amnt of crime, i think - mechanism: brain

nastya rasputina - engineer - she/her - QUEEN i miss you so much. shes dating the starship they live in. - mechanism: blood

aurora - the starship they live on !! - she/her - beloved i adore her. shes sentient. - mechanism: she is a starship.

drumbot brian - pilot - he/him - BRIANNNN ILYYYY WHY DON'T YOU SING MORE. why did the mechs leave you melting in a sun for 200 years. - mechanism: everything except his heart

aaand yeah! thats all ive got to say for now :]

[icharchivist]

I guess this is my cue to say that if you see me rave about VA who are in a3, to remind you all that a3 has a lot of songs as it’s a singing saga.

Want to hear Kakihara Tetsuya (Elmott/Icas) sing as a sexy vampire in love with a mortal man? Please listen to Shoutai. Or want a sweet song about cuddling at night until morning comes? Yoake no Junsui is for you.  Or how about a cool song that, look, idk how to describe, it’s just super cool, with Kikyou no Hana?

You see me cry about Wataru Hatano (Randall/Owen) all day? that’s because of a3 too! Want to see him fool himself setting himself up as a hurtful person? Please listen to Petenshi no Yuutsu. Or want to hear him as Moriarty having a very sexy duet about murder? Please listen to Scarlet Game it’s probably my favorite song like, ever. Or want to hear his take on the Wizard of Oz? Usotsuki Wa Mahou No Hajimari is a banger through and through! Or just his more intimate and vulnerable song with Seeds about accepting healing after so much hardship? 

Ever saw me lose my mind when Atsushi Tamary (Tor) joined the gbf cast and wondered why? The fact you’ve never listened The Contract and didn’t experience his voice drop while playing Lucifer means you Don’t Know Anything. And i’ll invite you to Unmask because who needs any adaptation of Phantom of the Opera after this banger of a song? 

Or how about an hilarious one of, wanna hear a duet of Eguchi Takuya (Vane) and Shirai Yutsuke (Mordred) where they just act like bitchy arrogant models together and having the biggest whiplash imagining Vane and Mordred singing it? Professional is for you.

Or maybe you’ll take a crossover of hearing EguTaku singing with Koutaro Nishiyama (Justin from the Vicious D) because crossover craziness ever? Please listen to ITTEKI ~Yoshitsune Ibunroku~. Or maybe you’d just like to listen to the woes of a perfectionist being burdened by his shortcomings with Natsu no Dilema.

Or speaking of Koutaro Nishiyama, maybe you’d like a song about an alchemist and his homunculus friend with Omoide No Nejimaki. Or about figuring out what to do of his life with Dandelion no Akubi? 

Or since i’m talking about the Chikadee what host would i be if i didn’t bring up the banger songs by Toshiyuki Toyonaga (Arthur), from his existential crisis with Kiteretsu Poemer, and the embracing of his feelings with Emotions, while taking you on a detour of hearing him as a butler in a crime story with Es No Yuutsu? 

Or for the few people not aware of Asanuma Shintaro (Ryan/Damon)’s range and want to discover it by hearing The ThemeSong Of You When Guild Wars Is Happening with Gamer High, or when you’re trying to pull for your fav with Real Luck? or maybe just a really cool song with Growing Pain? or what about a duet with Shirai Yusuke (Mordred again) where they invite you to Wonderland with Wonderland Go Go Go!

Or maybe you’d be curious to know how Shunsuke Takeuchi (Barawa) sounds like when he’s paying an insecure Teenager with Loner, or having a mafia homoerotic duet with Chiharu Sawashiro (which is only relevent to us for being the little brother of Katalina’s seiyuu) with Ichiya Kagiri no Aibou. Or a song full of clever wordplay and a catch beat with Q to Ju? or a Persona type song that unfortunately i don’t have a translation to, just vibes, with Double Solitaire?

Or maybe you’d be curious about Shunichi Toki (Joel) singing a really touching song about wanting to be himself with Minority? Or about being a fashion designer on a runaway with Mikansei na Sora? 

so basically this is my a3 music propaganda post. Listen to a3 music you won’t regret it. (Spotify playlist here for convenience) 

[k1rishiki]

melora would be a banger addition to fate if only bc astolfo going "oh! i knew your sister while we were alive actually!" would be mordred's 13th reason

[finmoryo]

Heyy! I absolutely love your fanfics and your Maeglin becoming Gil-Galad is a personal favorite! I recently saw your post on song recs based on lotr and it feels like I've found a gold mine. All of them are BANGERS!! I was wondering if you have anymore recs, or more specifically any songs that remind you of certain charachters from Tolkien's works?

Of course I'll share more! Thanks for liking my fic as well. I really want to write more, but I'm starting my spring semester of college and I'm feel like I'm sort of at a dead end. I still think about that fic concept every night though, so I wouldn't rule out another update sometime.

Ships by Cirkeln. Used to be on spotify, but no longer is. The other songs on this album are good too.

Ballad of Aiglos by The Lonely Mountain Band. I listen to this very often. The prettiest one in this list. It's from the perspective of Gil-galad's spear.

The Oath of Fëanor by Númenor. More metal.

Shadows by Sabaton. I'm a history nerd and I love Sabaton. This one is about the nazgûl.

Moria by Bloodbound. I'm not sure it's entirely LotR related based on the lyrics, but it is a really good song.

Tar-Calion and Caradhras by Summoning. I don't know how to describe these two.

Lord of the Rings by Blind Guardian. Yet another amazing Blind Guardian song based on Tolkien's stories but this time not in Nightfall in Middle earth.

The Tides of War by Blind Guardian. Probably my favorite Blind Guardian song. It was meant to be in NiMe but I guess it was dropped and it's not on spotify. There's another one also dropped called Doom, but make sure you listen to the NiMe version and not the other one.

Túrin Son of Húrin by Emyn Muil. I like this one, though I have heard someone called Emyn Muil a cheap copy of Summoning and I would have to agree. The album is good but could be better. That being said, I do like the last song on it, Hail to the Black Sword. Just don't listen to the end of if you'd rather not hear Túrin impale himself on his sword.

The Longbottom Leaf by The Fellowship. An instrumental, a very good one.

Children's Song from Dale by Broceliande. I'd consider this folk song style.

I have a few character playlists on spotify, which you can find on my pinned post. Here's a few songs that remind me of characters though. I think I'm going to make a Galadriel playlist soon.

Mordred's Song by Blind Guardian is my #1 song for Maeglin.

Broken Crown by Mumford & Sons and The Kinslayer by Nightwish for Maedhros.

Stargazers and Shoemaker by Nightwish for Elrond.

For Fëanor, Father by Sabaton. It's actually about Fritz Haber, but there are definitely similarities. I've had a post about this sitting in drafts for ages actually.

[mordcore]

Rules: Make a new post & spell out your URL with song titles, then tag as many people as there are letters in your URL.

i definitely did forget this uwu (tagged by @lostlovepunk )

here's my playlist

contents:

Mordred's Lullaby - Heather Dale

Oh No! - MARINA

Real Boy - Lola Blanc

Dead To The World - Nightwish

C'est La Vie - Weathers

O.D.D. - Hey Violet

Rather Die - Barnes Courtney

Earthworms - Elliot Lee

everyone should listen to the playlist cause these are all bangers ✨

tagging @catwaifuwu and uhhh mind blank

[so-mitzycal]

O, I am death, and none can tell.

If I open the door to heaven or hell.

No wealth, no land, no silver, not gold.

Nothing satisfies me but your soul.

I'm Death, I come to take the soul.

Leave the body and leave it cold.

[talkmythologytome]

Legend of the Sword shouldn’t have been about Arthur

I was listening to the soundtrack for King Arthur: Legend of the Sword (absolute banger if you’re not aware) and it finally hit me what had bothered me since I first watched it. 

There was a better movie to be had and it focused on Uther and Vortigern. 

A kingdom grappling with a swiftly changing demographic and value system (proliferation of mages in society and resulting backlash), a wedge driven between brothers by duty and necessity, Mordred as a terrorist cell undermining public faith in societal change and progress. 

The beginning of KA: LotS would be the third act of this movie, the end would have been Vortigern’s betrayal- the bitter conclusion to a deteriorating and heartbreaking schism between brothers- and the final scene would have been Uther turning himself into the stone and sinking to the bottom of the lake.