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stephstars08 · 2 years

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Always on my Mind

Bengals! Joe Burrow x Reader

Warnings: One cuss word (Yes only one!), angst in the beginning but ends with fluff, divorce, pregnancy, and mention of sex.

Inspired Song: Always on my Mind by Elvis Presley

IMPORTANT NOTE: This story does jump through time including jumping two years into the future so two years after 2022 so the end of this story takes place in 2024. Also please listen to the song before reading since the story does have quotes from the song!

Description: Love can have it’s up and downs which Y/N and Joe learn throughout their relationship. But one thing they do learn is that love can never fade away.

Author’s Note: Happy Holidays everyone! Sorry for such a long wait on a new story. Not going to lie, I had zero motivation to post. This is my early Christmas to you all! I hope you enjoy your present! If there is any mistakes I apologize, I did rush a little bit with this. I have a couple more ideas coming that will most likely come in January! I don’t know if you all have noticed but I am obess with Elvis Presley and his songs because of the movie. I’ve been wanting to write a one shot based off this song for a long time since I love this song and it’s so emotional! Anyways, I hope you all are doing well and hope you enjoy the story! Let me know what you all think!

Word Count: 2,483

Y/N and Joe have been together ever since Joe’s first year at LSU. When they met, they started out as friends but of course there were feelings, but Joe was too scared to do anything because at the time he didn’t know where Y/N was from but turns out that Y/N is from Cincinnati, Ohio so they never had to do a long distance. However, their senior year Joe did have to return to campus before Y/N due to football, but they did their best to keep in touch till Y/N had to return to campus. When Joe graduated in the winter, they thought they had to do a long-distance relationship but due to Covid, Y/N finished her senior year out virtually.

When Joe committed himself into the 2020 NFL Draft, Y/N was by his side supporting him anyway she could. She knew how bummed he was when they had to make the draft virtual, but Y/N and his parents did their absolute best to keep his spirts up.

All sources had Joe going number one overall to the Cincinnati Bengals. Even though Joe had the feeling that all the predictions were true, he didn’t want to get his hopes up.

Draft night Joe sat on the couch in the living room with Y/N on his left side and his parents on his right. Right when Joe’s name was called, he put on his Bangles hat. He got up on his feet with Y/N and his parents. He first gave Y/N a kiss and hug and then gave both of his parents a hug.

Once they moved onto the second pick Joe got a video call from the Bengals head coach Zac Taylor. Joe introduced Y/N and his parents to Coach Taylor and then they got right into talking about football. After Joe finished talking with him, he did a virtual press conference. Y/N and his parents hanged out into the kitchen while he did the press conference.

When Joe got done with everything him and Y/N went down into the basement to get ready for bed since they knew Joe was going to have another busy day tomorrow. When Joe returned to Ohio, his parents let him stay in the basement. That night became even more special because that was the night Joe purposed to Y/N. Of course, she immediately said yes!

Y/N and Joe’s parents were happy but at the same time had some concern because of how young they are. When Joe purposed, he was 23 and Y/N was 22 but when they tied the knot Joe was 24 and Y/N was 23 but that was still young. While they planned their wedding, they bought a beautiful house together.

Marriage life for Y/N and Joe started out good but quickly became sour. Their first year being married was the best but did have some bumps in the road due to Joe’s injury his rookie year. Sometimes Joe let his frustration out on Y/N, but he always apologized to her after he calmed down. Y/N always knew Joe would get frustrated because of injuries or tough losses so she would always accept his apologies.

But the offseason that led up to the 2022 season is what really dug into their marriage. Joe had to get surgery to get his appendix taken out so, he wasn’t able to start training camp. Y/N took time off from work to help take care of Joe, but it didn’t go as what she thought. Instead of Joe staying home to rest he made her drive him to training camp so he could ride the cart around the field. Y/N told him multiple times he should stay home and rest but of course that went out one ear and out the other.

~~~~~~

When Joe finally able to get back onto the field all he did was football related which Y/N understood because she knew the day she met him, she knew football was his life, but she hated going to bed without him.

When the season started the fights, they would have started to become more intense. Some of them got so bad either Y/N would leave the house or Joe would leave the house for the rest of the night.

After the Bengal’s terrible loss to the Browns Halloween night Y/N and Joe had their biggest fight of their whole relationship. It got so bad Y/N packed a bag and left to her parent’s house and stayed there for almost two weeks.

When Joe got home from the practice, he noticed a certain car parked in front of the house. Joe quickly got out of his truck and rushed inside of the house where he saw her sitting on the couch.

“Y/N!” Joe said with a big smile on his face as he quickly walked over to her. But the smile quickly faded when he saw the serious look on her face. “Joe, we really need to talk.” Y/N said in all seriousness.

“Okay, but before you say anything I want to say something.” Joe told her as he sat down next to her on the couch. “Joe.” Y/N said with a sigh but before she could say anything else he spoke. “Y/N, I am so sorry about putting all my anger and frustration out on you.” Joe apologized to her which made her look away from him because she felt tears forming in her eyes.

“I know you didn’t mean to do it, but it still hurt Joe. The things you said to me really hurt me.” Y/N told him with some frustration forming in her. “I know that’s why I was thinking that we can do another date night like we did five weeks ago.” Joe told her.

“Yeah, um about that night.” Y/N said with nervousness in her tone. “Joe, I’m pregnant.” Y/N told him as she looked back at him. “Oh my gosh!” Joe said in a surprised tone. “This is great!” Joe said with a big smile forming on his face as he put both of his hands of his both sides of her cheeks and connected his lips with hers. But the kiss didn’t last long because Y/N pulled away.

“I also want a divorce.” Y/N told him as a few tears started to make their way down her cheeks. When she said that Joe felt his heart drop all the way to the floor. “You what?” Joe said as his voice cracked.

“I love you and I know I’m pregnant with our first child but Joe we fight more than anything.” Y/N told him as she took his hands off her cheeks. “I know that which is why I just told you I’m sorry. I’m not just sorry about what happened our last fight, I’m sorry about everything!” Joe told her as tears started to fill his eyes. “And I know you’re sorry Joe, but I don’t want our baby to live in a house that is just filled with their parents screaming at each other!” Y/N told him with frustration in her tone as hot tears quickly streamed down her face that was making her face red.

Joe knew there was nothing he could say or do because he knew that she was right. “I’m sorry.” Y/N told him. “Why are you saying you’re sorry. I’m the one that fucked this all up.” Joe said as he looked down at the carpeted floor.

“How is this going to work?” Joe asked obviously talking about the baby situation. “We’re just going to have to co-parent. Like one week you’ll have the baby and then the next week I’ll have the baby.” Y/N explained to him which just earned a nod from him.

There was a long silence between the two. “I’m going to go now.” Y/N said as she stood up from the couch. Before she could make it to the door, he called her name.

“Y/N, I just want to tell you that I’ll always love you and I’ll still be there for not just through the pregnancy but through anything.” Joe told her as he stood up. “I know.” Y/N said as she wrapped her arms around and gave him a hug. Joe returned the hug and held her as tight as he could.

~~~~~

As two years have passed Joe has kept his promise to Y/N. They have been working together to raise their handsome little boy, Cody. Every time Joe steps onto the football field, he had Cole on his mind, but he also had Y/N on his mind as well. Y/N has taken Cody to multiple games, and it always warms her heart how excited Cole gets when he sees his dad take the field.

The Bengals were heading into their bye week when two of Joe’s teammates were at his house trying to convince him to come out to the bar with them.

“C’mon Joe, you deserve a night out.” Ja’Marr told him in a stern tone. “I’m not in the mood to go out.” Joe said with a heavy sigh.

“Joe, you need to stop hiding your feelings.” Tee told him. “What?” Joe asked in a confused tone. “We ain’t stupid Joe. We know you still have strong feelings for Y/N.” Ja’Marr explained to him. “Maybe you should tell her that you want to try it again with her.” Tee suggested to him. “I don’t think so.” Joe said with another heavy sigh.

“Okay fine, we won’t nag you about it.” Tee told him. “Yeah, we need to head out.” Ja’Marr told him as Tee made his way to the door. “Just think about it.” Ja’Marr told him and followed Tee out of the house.

Joe was cleaning around the house when he noticed that Cody left his two favorite stuffed animals, so he decided to get into his car and drive to Y/N’s house to drop them off.

Joe parked his truck in front of Y/N’s house and grabbed the stuffed animals from the passenger seat. One was a tiger and the other one was a turtle since that’s Cody’s two favorite animals.

Joe made his way to the front door and rung the doorbell. When the door opened, he saw Y/N standing there dressed up.

She had on a sweater dress with black leggings. Her hair was also in a beautiful side Braide. It’s been a while since Joe has seen her dressed like this.

“Joe, hey.” Y/N said surprised to see him. “Hey um why are you all dressed up?” Joe asked her in a curious tone. “Since Cody is spending the night at my parents tonight, I went on a blinded date.” Y/N told him.

Joe’s heart couldn’t help but hurt when she said she went out on a date.

“I just got home actually.” Y/N added. “Got you, um Cody forgot his two stuffed animals at my house.” Joe told her as he handed them over to her. “Oh, thanks.” Y/N told him with a smile. “It’s not a problem.” Joe told her with a small smile. “I guess I’ll see you next week.” Joe said turning around to leave but she stopped him by saying his name.

“Do you want to come in and have a drink?” Y/N asked him in a curious tone. “Sure.” Joe said with a nod and walked into the house.

“I just made some coffee so help yourself.” Y/N told him as she closed the front door. “I’m going to go put the stuffed animals into Cody’s room and get changed.” Y/N told him and made her way up the steps.

Joe walked into the kitchen and got two mugs out from the cabinet. He carefully poured the hot liquid into both mugs.

When Y/N walked into the kitchen she was wearing a Bengals long sleeve t-shirt and black sweatpants.

“Here you go.” Joe said handing one of the mugs to her. “Thanks.” Y/N said taking the mug. She blew onto the hot liquid and the took a sip of it.

“So, how did the date go?” Joe asked trying to not show any jealousy. “It went good, but I don’t see myself calling the guy.” Y/N told him as she stared down at her mug that she now had sitting on the kitchen island.

“How come?” Joe asked after taking a sip from his coffee. Y/N just gave him a shrug. “It’s okay Y/N. You can tell me.” Joe reassured her and took another sip from his coffee.

“It’s because the guy isn’t you.” Y/N told him which almost made him choke on the coffee. “Wait, do you still love me?” Joe asked in a curious tone as he sat the mug down on the counter.

“Yes, I think those feelings are never going to go away.” Y/N answered as she looked back up at him. “I know that probably sounds dumb coming from me since I’m the one that filed for divorce.” Y/N said with frustration as she looked away from him again. “I don’t think that sounded dumb.” Joe told her as he walked around the kitchen island, so he was standing next to her.

“Why?” Y/N asked as she stared down at the marbled kitchen floor. Joe used one of his hands to pick her head up so that she was looked at him. “Because like I told you before, I will always love you.” Joe told her as he used his same hand to cup her cheek and stroked it lightly.

Y/N leaned up and connected her lips with his for a sweet and passionate kiss. Joe returned the kiss as he pulled her close. When they released from the kiss they stared deep into each other’s eyes.

“I want to give us another try.” Y/N told him as she wrapped her arms around his torso. “I do too, and I promise you that this time will be different.” Joe told her.

“I’ll be there when you feel lonely. I will tell you how happy you make me. I love you so much and I’ll make sure to tell you that every day! You were and always will be on my mind.” Joe told her as he put his other hand on her other cheek.

“Joe, I just want one thing. This time I want to take it slow.” Y/N told him as her eyes filled with not sad tears but happy tears. “Of course, whatever you want, we will do.” Joe told her as he wiped away the tear that started to make its way down her face.

Joe reconnected his lips hers. Even though the kiss was short it had so much love and passion in it.

“I love you!” Y/N told him as their foreheads rested against each other’s. “I love you too!” Joe told her and reconnected their lips again for a kiss full of nothing but love.

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mariacallous · 12 days

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How Online Is Too Online?

Let’s do a quick thought experiment, just for fun. Read the following quote, and try to picture in what real-life scenario you might encounter it.

“In Springfield, they’re eating the dogs! The people that came in. They’re eating the cats. They’re eating, they’re eating the pets of the people that live there. And this is what’s happening in our country, and it’s a shame.”

Devoid of context, you might guess that this was a late-era Simpsons gag, or something blared out of a megaphone on a busy street corner. Or, more likely, you might well assume that you’re unlikely to hear this combination of words in real life at all. Something this fevered, this outrageous, frankly this unhinged, would feel much more at home in a backwoods corner of the internet.

At last night’s presidential debate between Donald Trump and Kamala Harris, it escaped containment. Trump pushed the baseless anti-immigrant conspiracy, likely introducing it to a vast swath of the voting public, along with a handful of notable others. Democrats executing babies. Transgender operations on illegal aliens in prisons. All the fury and paranoia of a nation’s conspiratorial cousins delivered in a highly concentrated dose.

Trump has always been extremely online. He owes his political rise in part to his incessant promotion of Obama birther conspiracies. He has, in the previous two presidential election cycles, consistently given a wink and a nod to the right-wing internet discourse. (His 2020 debate with Joe Biden was peppered with Hunter Biden allegations that required a MAGA Rosetta stone to decipher.) In some ways, Tuesday night’s debate was business as usual.

Although … maybe not. Last night Trump traded a wink and nod for a literal shout. He transmogrified forum shitposting into genuine belief. It was, if nothing else, a deeply strange position to stake out, especially with such fervor. And please don’t take this from me. “YOU STUPID MF’ers JUST GOT TRUMP TO REPEAT YOUR LIE ABOUT THE PETS,” wrote conservative commentator Erick Erickson in a post on X during the debate. “CONGRATS ON SETTING THE NEWS STORIES TOMORROW BY LYING SO TRUMP PICKS IT UP AND SAYS STUPID SHIT.”

It’s telling that Trump’s pet-eating protestations have inspired only a limp defense, outside of his running mate, JD Vance, doubling and tripling down. The ABC moderators are biased for saying it’s not true. One guy told the cops he maybe saw some Haitians holding some geese one time. OK, well.

Trump’s internet addiction is well-documented. He majority-owns the platform Truth Social, where his account constantly posts and reposts, absorbing and amplifying memes with the ferocity of an unemployed edgelord. His online experience is a bubble within a bubble, with a language and reference points unto themselves. Trump is now fully enmeshed in the manosphere, giving audience to influencers like Logan Paul and Adin Ross, a self-perpetuating cycle of bro-dom. The ouroboros tightens to the point that baby executions become an accepted reality rather than an obvious untruth. The more fragmented the internet becomes, the more jarring mass exposure to certain corners of it can be to the uninitiated.

At least, that’s the theory. In truth, we don’t yet know how Trump’s debate performance landed with undecided voters, or whether it will make any difference in the long run. He’s too online, sure, but maybe it’s all relative. Maybe we’re all so inundated with internet garbage that, for a majority of people, conspiracies bleed inexorably into gospel. Maybe the most alarming outcome of a major presidential candidate personifying 4chan is that it works.

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victoriaspriing · 9 months

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2023 writing gif-making round up

Rules (adapted for fic, gifs, art, etc.): Share what you made this year! It can be works you posted to Ao3, Wattpad, Tumblr, or anywhere else! You can share everything you made or just the projects you're most excited about.

I was tagged by @swearphil! thank you sm renee <33

Hii!! so 2024 is right around the corner, happy new year yayay. Actually, if I think too much about it I think I'll start crying cause like what do you mean we're less than 42 hours from staring a new year?!! 2023 doesn't feel real tbh time in general doesn't feel real but yeah anyways I'll save that convo for another time. I'm here today to reflect on all the gifsets I've made throughout this year, which let me add, has been A LOT. I'm going to start by sharing some fun stats (yes renee I'm copying you <33), and then I'll do a fun top 5 of my fave gifsets, and to finish it off I'd also like to use this to shout out some of my fave people and creators on this hellsite cause you all made my 2023 so much better and I love you all for that <333

fun statistics:

In total I made 61 gifsets in 2023

57 are heartstopper (not surprised)

3 are 911 lone star (mostly tarlos)

1 are dan and phil

In august I made 20 gifsets, which are the most gifsets I've made in a month this year

In may I made 1 gifset, which is the month I made less gifsets this year

6 of the gifsets are song lyrics edits

3 of the gifsets are heartstopper comic edits

31 of the gifsets are scenes from heartstopper

6 of the gifsets are heartstopper compilations from s1 and s2

top 5 gifsets from 2023 (in no particular order)

that one dnp gifset: I think most people know that I was and still am a big dan and phil fan, and that I spent most of my teenage years obsessing over them and giffing them and only them. Well, they went on hiatus and they stopped having a big impact on my life util they decided to come back and ruin my life again (in a good way). This gifset was the first time I giffed them since like idk 2019/2020, and it does mean a lot to me :') it's not really about the concept and the coloring, I chose this one to be apart of my top 5 for sentimental reasons, and I think that's valid.

give your friendships the magic you would give a romance: once again, sentimental reasons. when I read this quote on loveless it just spoke to me in so many levels. One of the things I love the most about heartstopper is the importance they give to friendship and I just had to make something that highlighted that and I think it turned out super good.

I think nellie loves him: well, now I think I snapped with this one akdhjahak I just love it so much. the coloring.. the heartstopper tv scenes with the heartstopper comic scenes, like chef's kiss, just perfect. of course this is not an original idea so I'd love to thank @rose-nobles for inspiring this gifset <33

mr. ajayi loves museum dates with his grumpy bf: and just like that we are back to sentimental reasons ahdhkas. well, this was one of the first gifsets I made when season two came out and it blew up. I've never had that many notes on a gifset, and honestly I think it's well deserved cause the coloring is good and I had finally just figured out how to sharpen gifs, so yeah love that for me.

I'm bi actually: I had so much fun making this one. the amount of bi coded elements and colors I included on this, I WAS ON A MISSION. the fact I made the font wobbly hsjgdjaka, I love love this gifset.

a little shout out to my faves (I hope you all have an amazing 2024)

@swearphil ☆ @barrowsteeth ☆ @narliee ☆ @cafecdramin ☆ @heroeddiemunson ☆ @nelsonnicholas ☆ @curlyhairedprince ☆ @wylanvannecks ☆ @aimeegbbs ☆ @indimlights ☆ @jelloandsugar ☆ @perrieedwards ☆ @imogen-heaney ☆ @thatwasthenightthingschanged ☆ @klinejack ☆ @birthdaysentiment ☆ @seeleybooth ☆ @sonseulsoleil ☆ @taraolssons ☆ @immortals-malec ☆ @parissquads ☆ @rose-nobles ☆ @itwasmagic ☆ @perccyjackson ☆ @naomismcpherson ☆ @neverfindmegone ☆ @charlieisverybored

Okay I think that's it, I'm so sorry if I missed someone. I'm also tagging everyone that wants to do this, just say I tagged you in it <33

#tag games #this was fun

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mazarinememories · 1 month

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About the Blog & the Author Behind It

The Blog:

This blog's primary focuses include: Star Trek (The Original Series and TOS films), the Spirk ship (Kirk/Spock), other variations of ships of the triumvirate (Spones, McKirk, and McSpirk), and anything regarding Leonard Nimoy, the actor who portrayed Spock in Star Trek: TOS.

The blog was created to showcase the blog author's creations and contributions to the Star Trek fandom (coming soon, I promise). It's also to record other important contributions to the fandom; such as artwork, fanfiction, music, zines, memes, edits, behind-the-scenes facts and photos, as well as TV show and movie screen caps and scenes.

The blog was first created on November 20, 2023, but not revamped until July 16, 2024 for the Star Trek fandom.

IMPORTANT NOTE: This blog occasionally features text and images that are NSFW, so minors be warned (you can still interact with me, but just be wary of any adult-themed content you might see on my blog). It's also not spoiler-free -- proceed with caution!

Reason for the URL:

Mazarine: being one of the names of the author of the blog, meaning "deep blue color".

Memories: the author has always had a fascination with psychology and memories. This is also a nod to the many decades of hard work, passion, and dedication from many of the cast, writers, filming crew, and fans who kept this series alive; the legacy of multiple forms of art left behind; and the inspiration of many people to pursue STEM careers and further the advancement of human society.

The words put together: the memories of the blog's author that give them a reason to live, to be strong, to be logical, to never give up despite the hardships of life, and to leave the world a better place than when they first entered it. The URL also has a nostalgic feel to it, as the series is a source of nostalgia for some.

The title:

Ad Astra Per Aspera is Latin for "through hardship to the stars". Not only is it a personal favorite motto of the blog's author, it's also a most fitting quote for Star Trek's philosophy.

And the author makes their entrance...

My name is Mazarine A.S.C. (Mazarine Alcine Severen-Cress). I also go by Mazz, Mazzy, Mazzy Star (like the band), and Masc. (Someone once called me 'Mezzanine' and I accept that too, I like Massive Attack.) I'm a fic writer as well as a fledgling vidder and archivist. I'm also an active participator of KiScon as well as their Discord server as of July 2024.

I'm 22 years old, genderfluid/nonbinary, and a certified lover of women and enbies. My preferred pronouns are they/them/theirs.

About my name: I chose this moniker to identify myself because I wanted a unique, debonair, gender-neutral name that had the same vibes as Yves Saint Laurent or Christian Dior (not that I shop those brands but it's to give you a good picture of what I was trying to go for).

The meanings of each name are as follows:

Mazarine: Deep blue color. Feminine and French origin. The hex code for the mazarine color is 273c76.

Alcine: Strong-willed. Gender-neutral and Greek origin. (I found it when trying to look for 'witchy' names.)

Severen: Stern, severe, austere. Masculine and Latin origin.

Cress: From atop of the hill. Gender-neutral and French origin.

I like to think that when the names are put together, it means: "The stern witch from atop the deep blue hill."

My profile picture is a cropped image of one of the pictures displayed in the New York Times article regarding the death of Leonard Nimoy. (Note: the article is paywalled.)

About Mazarine the Trekkie

How Mazarine Got Into Star Trek:

I was first introduced to Star Trek like many other people have been: their relative putting on a few episodes of The Original Series or The Next Generation on TV during childhood and watching in awe as the characters solved problems in a futuristic time on a weird and wonky planet and learning a lot about themselves along the way.

I didn't truly pursue an interest in Star Trek until 2020, however. But months before I started watching the series, I stumbled upon an interesting fanvid... that's right: "Closer". Because I had no clue what exactly it all meant ("What if they never returned to Vulcan in time?" and all the spicy clips of two men going at it), I was very confused, but fascinated! I was already quite interested in mlm and yaoi content and had harbored such interests for years before encountering that video. I didn't know at all that Kirk and Spock were shipped, let alone of how much of a legacy and impact it had left.

It wasn't until the night of September 1, 2020 (I theorize that's the exact date), that I started watching TOS. I'm someone who prefers to watch in release order because I believe that's the best way to understand a franchise. This was back when Netflix carried all of the Star Trek shows and movies. It was in the midst of the pandemic and I was starting college. I had plenty of time on my hands apart from online schooling and freelance work, so why not start watching shows and movies I had been meaning to try? I decided to start with Star Trek. I was in my living room and I found The Original Series, and selected the very first episode: "The Cage". I found it cerebral, but interesting; I kept watching despite how cheesy the 60s production value was.

Never in my life had I seen a single show from the 60s at that time, except for The Twilight Zone. The production style was completely new to me: it was colorful, the sounds were softer than today's TV shows, and it had so much more dialogue. It was engaging even for my bad attention span. The writing of the characters was so intricate and life-like, it was no wonder the show caused such a mania and cult following.

I mostly used it as background noise whenever I did work, chores, or creating art. I was still able to pick up what was going on thanks to the frequency of the show's dialogue. In time, Spock and his suave ways began to grow on me. I noticed the way Kirk and Spock interacted with each other and began taking a liking to their friendship. Eventually, I began shipping them a little bit.

One night, I was doing some scrapbooking and I had Star Trek on. Dr. McCoy was voicing his concerns about Spock to Captain Kirk and Nurse Chapel was running out of Spock's room while he was yelling at her. The Vulcan stormed out, and his face looked so angry. I snapped my head up from my journal and my eyes were instantly glued to the screen. Now this, I HAD to watch.

My art abandoned, I watched with great interest as Spock reluctantly explained to his commanding officer that he needed to take an early leave because of a fatal condition that came every seven years and could only be satiated via coitus. I gazed with anticipation as T'Pau approached, as T'Pring declared Kal-if-fee, and when Kirk was then made to battle his first officer and best friend to the death. I leered at the screen as they fought, their theatrical movements and bodies rolling in the sand putting me in a trance. Kirk's shirt tears in a place I had no idea I needed to see. I watched in horror as Spock eventually, and inevitably, delivered the final fatal blow.

"Well, what the fuck are they gonna do now? Kirk is dead!" I thought to myself.

T'Pau bade him Live Long and Prosper. Spock forlornly responded, "I shall do neither."

My heart palpitated with an indescribable feeling upon hearing that. In sickbay, Spock was about to relinquish his authority, then I smiled like an idiot as Kirk came up right behind him.

"Don't you think you better check with me first?"

"Captain... Jim!"

And thus, a trekkie is born.

I literally GASPED out loud, hands covering my mouth, eyes going wide as saucers. He smiled. He fucking smiled. And a real smile this time -- not one caused by drugs or one of those slight smiles of amusement! A real, motherfucking smile! Oh, it was beautiful. Thank you so much, Nimoy!

The episode concluded with McCoy's sarcastic remark, and I'm left sitting in my chair giggling like crazy. Spock became my favorite character that night; and Nimoy, my most favorite actor of all time.

A moment later, it hit me like a truck: the "Closer" video! My eyes went wide as I suddenly remembered the video and then I pieced the puzzle together.

"I ship it." I whispered happily to myself.

Then, came the falling down the rabbit hole: the 3 AM fanfiction readings, the hours of perusing Tumblr blogs, hunting down rare Star Trek paraphernalia, cosplaying, discovering KiScon, and eventually joining the KiScon Discord server and making a lot of wonderful friends there, on Twitter, and Tumblr. Now I'm here, writing this About Me page to pin at the top so you can groan at how long this is. Thanks for putting up with me.

The show gave me a sense of optimism during the heavy turmoil of 2020 as it did for those in the 60s. Like many others, it inspired me to get into STEM, so I changed my course of study years after starting college and began teaching myself statistics, programming, and medicine.

I love being a Trekkie. I love that the fandom still persists to this day despite it dwindling, but I thank the internet for keeping it alive and well and warmly welcoming new people with open arms. I enjoyed watching my brother get into Star Trek, and now we can't stop quoting the original films to each other. The impact it has even to this day is timeless and unreplicable. It's art in itself. Gene Roddenberry claimed he was no guru, but it doesn't take anything less than a genius to create what he did.

Favorites:

Character: Spock (TOS version)

Show in the series: The Original Series

Films: The Motion Picture, V: The Final Frontier

Favorite episodes: "Amok Time" (S2E1), "I, Mudd" (S2E8), "The Corbomite Maneuver" (S1E10), "The Menagerie" (S1E12/13), and "Assignment: Earth" (S2, E26)

Ship pairing: Spirk (Kirk x Spock, or K/S, or "The Premise")

Show tropes: the way Kirk looks at Spock, Spock and Bones bickering

Fanfic tropes: old married Spirk, pon farr, domestic life (living together in San Francisco or the flop in "The City on the Edge of Forever")

Quote: "Logic clearly dictates that the needs of the many far outweigh the needs of the few." "Or the one." "You are my superior officer. You are also my friend. I have been and always shall be yours." (The Wrath of Khan)

Scenes of all time: When Spock Realizes Kirk Isn't Dead, Spock Motivates Kirk to Take Command, Spock's Arrival on the Enterprise, This Simple Feeling, It Gives Me Emotional Security

Favorite fanart: I Shall Do Neither by Nox Zaiden

Favorite fanfiction: And Filled With Tomorrows by Android_And_Ale (Pairing: Kirk/Spock, Rated: E, Words: 5,886, Published: March 22, 2024)

About Mazarine Themselves:

Interests:

Star Trek: TOS

Wong Kar Wai films

Portishead (90s band formed in England)

60s gogo dancers

Geisha and maiko (Japanese culture)

Psychology and mental health

Art history

LGBTQIA+ history

Writing (poetry, plays, and fanfics)

Documentaries/docuseries of literally anything

Favorite Things:

Colors: mazarine blue, sky blue, indigo, lavender, mauve, jade green, seafoam green, ivory, black, and vermillion

Singers/Bands: Portishead, Fleetwoood Mac, Björk, Massive Attack, Mazzy Star, Röyksopp, Daft Punk, The Flaming Lips, David Bowie, Garbage, Nirvana, The xx

Song: "Glory Box" (Portishead, 1994)

Music Genres: house, trip-hop, electronica, jazz, classic rock, industrial, k-pop, alternative/indie, lofi, vaporwave, 60s garage rock, and anything 70s, 80s, and 90s.

Actors: Leonard Nimoy, Michelle Reis, Winona Ryder, Angelina Jolie, Lauren Bacall

Authors: Franz Kafka, Sylvia Plath, Margaret Atwood, V.E. Schwab, Oscar Wilde, Edgar Allen Poe

Films: Fallen Angels (Wong Kar Wai, 1995), Frances Ha (Noah Baumbach, 2013), 2001: A Space Odyssey (Stanley Kubrick, 1968), American Graffiti (George Lucas, 1973), World of Tomorrow (Don Hertzfeldt, 2015), Deathwatch (Vic Morrow, 1965)

TV Shows: Star Trek (TOS), Arrested Development, Parks and Rec, Nathan For You, Community, Better Call Saul, The Sopranos, Squid Game, The Good Place

Directors: Don Hertzfeldt, Wong Kar Wai

Art: Ballet Rehearsal on Stage (Edgar Degas, 1874), The Brooch. Eva Mudocci (Edvard Munch, 1903), Fireflies on the Water (Yayoi Kusama, 2002), Composition with Red, Blue, and Yellow (Piet Mondrian, 1930)

Interesting Facts About Me:

My astrological signs are Aries Sun, Pisces Moon, and Taurus Ascendant.

I'm an INTJ-T on the MBTI scale. (I know the history of it, but I still found it interesting.)

My ancestral research has linked me to Irish and Scottish druids, as well as Nordic vikings. It's quite funny, because their blood now resides in an anxious shut-in obsessed with a fictional show.

My hobbies include writing, poetry, journaling (regular journaling and bullet journaling), listening to music, learning languages (currently Japanese, Mandarin, and Arabic), collecting CDs, reading fanfiction, doodling, and people-watching.

My ultimate goals in life: to become a psychiatrist, a published author, a playwright; to live in Massachusetts, travel the world, and see every Star Trek show and film.

I'm older Gen Z, born in 2002.

I have maladaptive daydreaming disorder (MDD).

I own a first edition copy of Killing Time by Della Van Hise and a signed copy of Leonard Nimoy's autobiography I Am Spock.

My Socials:

Linktree

Discord: mazarinememories (Please, feel free to friend me there! I love making new Trekkie friends and just any new friends in general. I think I'm pretty cool.)

Email (for artistic inquiries): mazarine.asc @ gmail.com

By all means, friends: be well to each other. Live long, and prosper.

Ad astra per aspera.

#about mazarineasc

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whatmakesyoulove · 6 months

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Welcome the 2024 (10th) Cate Blanchett Birthday Project!

Every year, for the past 10 years I’m collaborating Cate Blanchett fans together in order to make something special for her birthday. And I am super excited to say that we have made 9 successful birthday projects together which has ALL arrived to Cate.

Cate Blanchett has influenced me and many more people through the years and this project is my way to say: Thank You. This year the project will surround MUSIC.

I think that one of the most influential things we have in life is music. Music is a tool to connect ourselves and to express things we cannot do with words.

This year, we will share a song with Cate. A song that means a lot to us and we want to tell her something with.

All you need to do, is to pick a song and send ONE sentence about why you chose this particular song.

HOW DO YOU CHOOSE THE RIGHT SONG? - GUIDNESS

The song has inspired you to go for your dreams just the way Cate does.

The song can help you express your graduate to Cate

The song can show how her words made you think or feel differently about something - and made you act a new way.

Some important points:

Send one sentence about the song only.

It can be a song in your native language but make sure you do translate the name

The final project will be a playlist that is all dedicated to Cate & A card with your sentences about the songs you picked.

THE FINAL PROJECT WILL BE POSTED ONLINE: So don't get too personal. Everyone who wants to see the project, will be able to do so.

How does it work?

Send an email with your Name, Age & Country

Mention in the email if you joined any of the past projects and if yes mention the year

Send your picked song (with a Youtube/ Spotify/ Apple-Music link to it) & your sentence.

Rules:

Keep an appropriate language

Letting you know the project will be released ONLINE

Deadline

All projects should arrive until MAY 1ST, 2024. Send them all to the following address: [email protected] (the same one from past years) If you have any questions you can ask me here on the ask box / twitter / email .

FAQs

Who can participate the project? - Everyone who wants to.

Can I send a picture of myself with a happy birthday poster? Not this time.

Can you guarantee Cate will receive the project? - sadly not, but we will try our best to make this work.

Our work at the past years:

2015 – A birthday video by fans - 24 participants 2016 – A birthday book – 138 participants 2017 – A birthday collage – 43 participants 2018 - The art as we see it - 40 participants 2019 – The big 50: A fan video – 61 participants 2020 - A motivation book - 42 participants 2021 - The fans sing - 34 participants 2022 - Motivational quotes by Cate - 18 participants 2023 - A book of Inspiration - 64 participants

Please reblog this post so more people will be aware of our project The project Twitter/Tumblr tags: CBBP / CBBP24

#cate blanchett #cbbp #cbbp 24 #birthday project #cbbp24 #cate blanchett edit #*#edit #2024 #queen #queencate

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vinvantae · 9 months

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🏎️💨 THE FORMULA 1 TAG GAME! 🏎️💨:

Creds to @avida-heidia-5 for making this!

Tagging - @danielfuckingricciardo @carsgonyoom @formulaforza @vetteltea @silverstonesainz @goldsainz @monzabee @rose-tinted-juls @ricc3rodeo @a-distantdreamer @fernandoswarcrimes @f1version @lxnceclercs @leclsrc and literally whoever else wants to do it!

1. Who or what got you into F1?

I don’t actually have a good answer for this - but my family have always watched it and then one random Sunday my brain just went ‘you like this now, it’s about to become your whole personality’

2. Who was the very first F1 driver you supported? Do you support them now? Have your opinions on them differed or stayed the same since then?

Danny Ric ♥️ I do still support him, and my opinion is about the same! He’s just a silly goofy guy

3. Who’s your current favourite F1 driver?

Daniel but Alex is also up there. While Daniel was gone for the start of the season, Alex worked his way up to the top but DR will always have a special place in my heart

(Rest below the cut!)

4. Is there a driver pairing or pairings you support? What made you attracted to that pairing in the first place?

Max and Daniel are one of my fave pairs cus they’re so silly together. Yuki and Pierre too. And underrated especially as they’re both gone now but I will always have a soft spot for Kimi and Antonio.

5. Do your parents, siblings or relatives have a favourite team and/or favourite driver(s)?

I’m in a Merc supporting family, Lewis is the fave of my mum and brother, however Fernando is Dad’s.

6. Do you have any favourite races? Are there any that stand out to you the most?

Monza 2019, Monza 2020 and Monza 2021. Just love the feeling those wins give ♥️ also Silverstone ‘23 cus I was there and it’ll always be special

7. Do you have a favourite circuit? Can be from the past or from the current calendar.

If it wasn’t clear from the above, Monza. But I also like Sukuza

8. Have you ever been to an F1 race in real life? Feel free to tell us your experience going to one if you like.

Silverstone last year! Was amazing, the atmosphere when Lando took the lead was unlike anything else I’ve ever experienced.

9. Have you ever met an F1 driver in real life?

I have not :( but also idk if I’d want to, I’m sooo awkward I think I’d leave a terrible impression

10. Do you have a favourite F1 car? If so, what is it?

The 2021 Gulf Livery McLaren and the Alpine car any time it’s pink

11. Do you have a favourite one win wonder?

Estie and Pierre! Estie cus his race was phenomenal and Pierre cus his win was so emotional and deserved

12. Do you have any favourite quotes from the F1 world? This can either be inspirational or hilarious.

I think I have to say Enjoy the Butterflies cus I literally have it permanently inked into my skin!! 🦋

#tag game

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renarots · 8 months

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🏎️💨 THE FORMULA 1 TAG GAME! 🏎️💨:

tagged by @solaireverie

thanks pookie <3

1. Who or what got you into F1?

i grew up in a pretty big nascar family, my family would put it on the tv instead of watching the kids and natural progression i fell in love with motorsports. i do think a combination of seeing the tooned cartoon and me being fascinated by the engineering in the cars dragged me fully into f1.

2. Who was the very first F1 driver you supported? Do you support them now? Have your opinions on them differed or stayed the same since then?

for me it was fernando alonso and jenson button. although jenson is retired i still watch him in his other series like nascar. i still support fernando as well although i feel like it passed the torch on to lando when he was the reserve for mclaren and then later took the seat at mclaren. if you cant tell im a huge mclaren girl.

3. Who’s your current favourite F1 driver?

lando norris and yuki tsunoda, cant pick one but yeah theyre my ultimate pookies 🫶

4. Is there a driver pairing or pairings you support? What made you attracted to that pairing in the first place?

my biggest driver pairing right now is lando and oscar, i think their pairing is what lando needed and what oscar needed and theyve already shown they push eachother so i cant wait for this season. my ultimate that i think about is fernando and mark tho, theyre my roman empire. from them always misisng eachother as teammates and then the infamous abu dhabi 2010. i could go on an essay about them (as a treat i also love nando and jenson)

5. Do your parents, siblings or relatives have a favourite driver?

no but i did get my friends and their cats into it. one of them is a ferrari fan and the other is a mclaren girl more leaning towards op81 but im gonna make her an ln4 girl soon. her cats are both mclaren cats but one only loves lando, she legit gets disinterested when someone else is on screen. one time she literally followed landos car off screen and my friend didnt even know that was lando so she was surprised her cat caught on to him.

6. Do you have any favourite races? Are there any that stand out to you the most?

i know i mentioned it before but abu dhabi 2010 is definitely one i watch a lot. 2020 austrian gp as well, even tho lando got the podium cause of disqualification it still holds a special place in my heart. Runner ups are silverstone 2023 and Abu Dhabi 2023 where pookies lead the race for a period of time.

7. Do you have a favourite circuit? Can be from the past or from the current calendar.

singapore is lovely, silverstone because of this year with lando leading the gp just really put it up there, and i think interlagos always has me excited, even if mclaren has a bad track record with it (please get your shit together for quali guys)

8. Have you ever been to an F1 race in real life? Feel free to tell us your experience going to one if you like.

ive never been to one theyre too expensive in america to go to one but i have been to a couple nascar races and those were so lovely. im hoping to take my friends and i to the suzuka gp next year tho (its so much cheaper please f1 sort your shitty pricing please)

9. Have you ever met an F1 driver in real life?

no and id rather melt into the floor than meet one

10. Do you have a favourite F1 car? If so, what is it?

i think the rb19 (rocky) has to be my fave rn if you asked me a year ago i would say otherwise but from an engineering standpoint rocky is the most beautiful piece of machinery ive laid my eyes on (excluding my beautiful b&m rollercoasters of course (my first love fr))

11. Do you have a favourite one win wonder?

not really tbh

12. Do you have any favourite quotes from the F1 world? This can either be inspirational or hilarious.

"i nearly said i wouldnt want to be married to him but obviously i- im happily married to a lady but" -mark webber (🫵🏳️‍🌈❓)

"who is the blind guy in the alpha tauri?" -fernando alonso (even tho it was against yuki it was so funny from this years radios)

"soy lago" -lando norris (i miss carlando guys)

"fernando is faster than you" -rob smedley

realised thats a lot of fernando related quotes but oh well 🤷‍♀️

🏷️ <3

@dumbf1sketches @formulafics @disneyprincemuke @lovewithmary @piasstrisblog @bekaillustrates @honeyhobbs and anyone who would like to participate

#renas 🏷️ <3 #f1 #rena rambles

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jilyarchive · 2 years

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OCTOBER AUTHOR SPOTLIGHT: MISSGRYFFIN

Q: Where can we find you and your stories?

A: @missgryffin, AO3

Q: How would you describe your writing style?

A: Intense, sexy, snappy, and fast-paced. I have a rampant imagination and love a good sexual tension build-up, so my fics usually include a lot of plot, drama, and (of course) smut.

Q: How do you come up with ideas for your writing?

A: It’s such a grab-bag. A pretty substantial number of my fics have originated from prompts, actually! I also draw a lot on TV shows/movies I’ve seen, novels I’ve read, tropes I see that I’m inspired to try, etc. Also, I find that a lot of my ideas actually form while I’m writing. I’ll go in with a sense of direction, but it’s not until I’m writing and really in the thick of it that the details take shape, and then new ideas begin to spout off from there, based on what I learn about what the characters and story need.

Q: When and why did you begin writing fanfiction?

A: Technically, during the two-year wait between the releases of books 5 and 6, because I was utterly HP obsessed, my imagination was in overdrive thinking about what could happen in the final two books, and I had discovered MuggleNet fanfiction / FFN by that point, so I’d been devouring all of that early era of HP fanfic. I actually have a giant binder of my own fanfic writing from that period; I would type up stories in Word, format them with fun fonts and fan art covers I found online, and print them out for myself. (Which, I still do this!) Fun fact: there’s even a Marauders story in there that I had completely forgotten about that has a striking resemblance to the bones of Eternal Summer. It genuinely freaked me out a little when I found it, ha!

But even though I wrote creatively through most of my childhood/school phases of life, I had taken a pretty substantial break in early adulthood and didn’t “return” to writing until the pandemic in 2020. Life was bizarre, Netflix had gotten boring, and I was craving a creative outlet or hobby that could make lockdown bearable. I randomly stumbled my way back to fanfic / fandom, and here we are!

Q: What’s one thing you’d tell someone who is considering reading one of your fics?

A: Buckle up! 🎢 Also, I hope you are either i) at home, or ii) have a really great NSFW poker face 😅 But to give a more serious answer, I’d say that I write a wide range of tones, and I really lean in to what that tone is. If a fic is tagged for fluff and crack, it will be so adorably sweet and cringe-funny that your face will hurt from smiling. If a fic is tagged for angst and darker themes, it will feel like a knife to the gut. (If it’s tagged for all of the above—cough Eternal Summer cough—you’re at the front of a line for a wild rollercoaster, my friend!) Since I write both extremes, I’m never offended when readers skip fics or prefer one “genre” to another. But please know that Jily is always endgame in all of my stories—that’s the whole reason why we’re here 💗

Q: What are some of your favorite Jily tropes?

A: Enemies to lovers is my #1, even if it’s more of that “enemies-ish” rivalry at the beginning. There’s just nothing more quintessentially Jily to me than the process of them discovering more layers to the other person and slowly realizing that the other person is so much more than the antagonist they’d built up in their head. (And that they -gasp- actually…like them! Worse, they like them like them! A lot!) Gets me every time.

Other favorites include There Was Only One Bed, Hurt/Comfort, and Forced Proximity/Stuck/Trapped.

Q: What do you like most about the Jily fandom?

A: That we celebrate how much of a power couple Jily is. I’m going to quote @jilyss’ answer for this because it’s so true: we understand James has an arrogant streak but grew up, we celebrate Lily for the intelligent, strong, cool, bamf woman she is, and we appreciate how they’re true, complementary equals finding real, raw love with one another. (And also all the wonderful reader and fellow-writer friends I’ve made! 😘)

Q: Pick a favourite Marauders era character.

A: My man JP. From only the few hints we get about him in the books, we know he’s such a dynamic person, and I really love bringing him to life. Also, his growth/redemption story deserved more air-time, so I’m glad fanfic is here to fill that gap.

Q: Self-promo time! List the fics that you are most proud of writing.

Eternal Summer – My first born! Even though it’s far from being finished and needs a lot of work, I’m really proud of the world-building I’ve done thus far.

Vindicated – This was thrilling for me to write because it’s a total departure from what I’d previously written: second chances, canon-divergent AU, American settings, original characters, more adult relationship, etc. I have more planned for this universe and I’m really excited for it.

for the hope of it all – My latest completed fic. I challenged myself to write a softer, friends-to-lovers, mutually pining kind of summer fic, and this came together in a flood. But what makes me proud is that with this fic, I could really see how much my writing has evolved and improved from those early ES days.

Q: Fic rec time! Could you recommend a few of your favourite Jily fics?

Of Chrysalism by @maraudersftw – It’s only a short one-shot, but the way this fic haunts me!! Exquisite.

The Wedding Ring by @mppmaraudergirl – Lauren is the Nancy Meyers of Jily, and this fic is the epitome of that. A total comfort fic for me; I want it to be a movie that I can play in my living room over and over again until I know it by heart.

Eighteen Again by @scriibble-fics – If I didn’t know scriibble was getting her PhD in History, I’d think she was a screenwriter. The world-building in this fic is like no other—I’m in a constant state of chills when I read it. The emotional depth, the heartbreak, the romance, the political intrigue…it’s one of those fics that never leaves you.

Thank you @missgryffin for letting us ‘interview’ you and for sharing your fics with us! ❤️

#october author spotlight #author spotlight #thank you!!#its requested author month #next will be another random selection :)

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afaramir · 5 months

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5, 8, 12, 15, 33, and 34! <3333

YAYY thank u jamie for all of these <333

5. quote one of your fics out of context

A memory, to an architect, is a prison, a haunting, a noose.

from two shadows burning out a glory day, my bizarre inception/bond crossover fic. its very close to my heart it was kind of my first. idk if i can say non-conventional fic but it kind of is. like conceptually and narratively Weird. something that messes with the reader's head.

8. share the last line that you wrote

oh BOY. im trying to ease back into writing after the wackass week i've had but something seized me and i AM up at 3am picking away at umbar fic. but its time for bed because i have work and also i just thesaurused "retreat." when i start looking up synonyms of VERY simple words its a sign the night is over.

[his father] would give him every honour, and would that not mean he would accord him every accompanying sin?

hehehehe the thorongil-ecthelion-denethor dynamic IS absolutely in the air. its funny because right before this denethor basically curses thorongil out for daring to bring up His Damn Father when they're making out. yeah its pretty insensitive. but it leads him here and from MY perspective the introspection is yummy. don't think of elephants or whatever.

12. what fandom do you want to write for most often

hmm i feel like. my answer is just whatever im? hyperfixating on at the moment? when i get in there i REALLY get in there. but maybe pacific rim. it just lives at a low simmer in the back of my mind at all times but it's also the hardest to bang something quick out for because it is one of, if not THE most emotionally fraught for me to deal with. its just. well its a lot of grief. and also a lot of times my style becomes very um. Particular. because of my personal headcanons about how drifting fucks with your head and how that kind of comes across in the prose. and i gotta be in the right headspace for All That.

15. what fic of yours would you most like to rewrite

honestly i'm not sure if? any of them? i saw a quotation once about only having been able to write certain things at certain points in your life and i really believe that. current me could not produce a lot of my old stuff at all. there's small parts of many things i might change but not complete rewrites, and i also want to preserve them in their posted form for posterity. e.g. there's parts of dreamlike, and yet no dream that i would want to tweak to match my current Denethor And Faramir complexities (it's missing a Little of the nuance. and the terrible pity that i think faramir ends up feeling for his father) but i would NOT want to completely rewrite it. i'm scrolling through my ao3 and like. yeah. and i do think that after maybe 2020 it really begins to stand the test of time and most of my prior stuff i don't have a strong enough attachment to really want to rework. i leave it up entirely for archival purposes.

33. which of your fic titles is your favourite?

i really like five year plan for the afternoon. i honestly really like most of my titles i’ve probably mentioned i think really hard when im choosing them and i hope it shows in the match between the title and the energy/themes of the fic. but i DID create this one from my own mind (rare) and i feel like it really gave the energy of like. having the future you never thought you would have because you've spent your whole life fighting an impossible fight thinking you would die trying...and getting to not have to have a plan for the future not because you think you won't have one but because you just have all the time in the world.......wow.

35. have you ever written a fic because you were inspired by a title?

hmm. not really. i do have some inspired-by-songs ones (talked about those here) that eventually ended up with corresponding lyric titles but it doesn't really work the reverse way. i mostly will hear a lyric and create a Scenario rather than a title

fic writer asks

#from the inbox #aaronstveit #thank u jamie<333 i had so much fun with these thank u for sending another

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ohmybitna · 2 years

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↳ 8 Shows To Get To Know Me

i was tagged by @sorrowfulliming and @heesulovebot thank you both so much, I had a lot of fun doing this list! ❤️ I tried to choose some shows that have had kind of played a significant role in my life in one way or another, maybe you'll learn a bit more about me through this idk

one tree hill (2003 - 2012) i feel like this one is the most important show if you want to know me. It's half of my personality. I grew up with this show and all of these characters mean the absolute world to me, I relate to them on a deep level and I've rewatched all 9 seasons of this so many times that if you tell me a quote from the show I can tell you who said it and in what context and season (maybe even episode) it was said. It's probably the best teen drama ever made and except for lack of representation (which i can excuse to some extent because it started airing in the early 00s) this is really something everyone can and should watch. Nothing beats the friendships in this show. I'm still searching for the brooke & haley to my peyton tbh

the vampire diaries (2009 - 2017) this show is very special to me because I started learning english more intensely and on my own outside of school because I couldn't wait until they were showing the eps with german dub half a year after they originally aired. I had to wait 4 years until the show made stefan & caroline a couple and no other ship has ever come close to how I felt (and still feel) about them. best friends to lovers will always get me and they did it so well. we do not talk about anything after 7x05, the show ended there for me tyvm. they were by far the best part of the show for me since I dislike a lot of the decisions the show made a lot of the time. but they were the reason I created a tumblr account back in 2015 that I've since forgot the name and password for 😂 it was an account dedicated to making icons for tvd. ugh i miss shows with multiple seasons and 24 eps for each season

blueming (2021) this bl drama is always gonna be important to me since it made me decide to choose film as the thing I want to major in. I got really into independent movies after watching blueming because the cinematography of it astounded me and I wanted to learn more about it and how to create beautiful shots like those in the drama myself. I also rewatch it frequently. siwon is very dear to me.

taxi driver (2021 - 2023) i debated if i should put this or the devil judge/flower of evil/happiness here because i love them all dearly and they're all tied for my fav kdramas of all time but this one was the first kdrama i watched weekly as it aired and I was so obsessed with it and its cases and characters. i love darker themes and case-by-case dramas, it's my favorite genre when it comes to korean shows. kim doki is such a dear character to me and i love the way jehoon plays him. words can't describe how happy i am that it's back on my screen and just as good as it always was. (plus pyo yejin is one of my biggest celebrity crushes i love her sm)

the haunting of hill house (2018) one of the greatest shows ever made and imo the best of its genre. ep 6 of this show especially impressed me so much because it just consists of multiple one-shots. i love mike flanagan, he's my favorite director and if you're into psychological horror i more than recommend watching this and midnight mass because they're both masterpieces. mike has this way of connecting horror and sadness and he does it so so well. I could write essays about his filmmaking and he's my biggest inspiration when it comes to film.

my engineer (2020) this was the first bl I was really invested in, I even bought tickets to the online fanmeeting which i usually never do for anything. these characters and actors really helped me get through the lockdowns in 2020. one of the few bls where they managed to give everyone their fair screen time and made everyone's story enjoyable to watch. also very important part of why i loved watching it was the lack of fanservice they made the actors do and that we got them all in one room reacting to every episode together. it was the best and i wish more shows would do it.

light on me (2021) oh what a show. even though I don't like the ending and I think the last episode had some continuity issues and felt like a second thought in some ways I thorougly enjoyed the ride this drama took me on. the runtime allowed for the show to explore its characters well and made us able to connect with them. i miss that for newer shows a lot. shin daon is and probably will always be my favorite k-bl character, he felt so real and I could see an old version of myself in him. he deserved a lot better and I hope he's off to college living his best life, he deserves it.

one day at a time (2017 - 2020) let me just say that I am NOT a sitcom enjoyer. shows that are targeted to make me laugh usually don't and I get bored early on because I don't get the appeal. nothing against these shows, they just don't speak to me. HOWEVER odaat is a huge exception because I was hooked to the well-balanced use of humor and deep conversations and topics portrayed in this show. plus it also made me laugh!! and sometimes also cry both in the span of 5 minutes. these characters have a special place in my heart. elena halped me a lot in my journey of self-discovery and I loved the way the show portrayed her journey.

bonus: (i know this technically makes it 9 but i didn't know where to put it)

wish you (2021) I'm adding this as well but extra since I only ever watch the movie version of it. it's imo the only kbl that works as a movie. even though not a lot of people love this, it is my most rewatched k-bl (and I think bl in general). I adore Sang Yi, he's a lot like me and watching him be an awkward mess in front of his crush and idol is very cute to watch. the OST for this show is also so good i listen to it all of the time.

i will tag @ghostvalleymasters i hope you haven't done this yet :)

#tag game #about me #i loved making this list #sorry that it took me almost a week you guys #tagged

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blacklodgemusictx · 2 years

Text

A Nuclear Approach Pt 2: The Album

by Liz Berry

“Words are all used up, they are hard to say, they have all been wasted…

… on the shampoo commercials and the ads and the flavorings.

Hollow, beautiful words.

How can you love a floor wax?

How can you love a diaper?

How can I use the same word about you that is used about a stuffing?”

That quote is from the Steve Martin movie, “Roxanne.” The supreme irony is Roxanne itself is a retelling of Cyrano De Bergerac. Nothing new under the sun.

I think of this quote when I think about critiquing things. I’ve done movie reviews before, but only when I truly feel the call to sway. When it comes to music, the only way I can think if it is: it’s not my place. People already get paid to tell other people what to think about music: that it’s great, groovy, it’s got a good beat, it’s easy to dance to. Why in the world would my opinion matter?

Because it’s art. And art needs to be experienced. Without the lens through which an audience views art, songs are closed-room therapy, diary entries only the writer will read.

A Nuclear… approach.

Step one: wear head phones. This album is mixed a certain way and if you listen to it without headphones, you lose out on some of what the listening experience was meant to entail. Just a friendly suggestion.

Track One: Hazy Morning Glow

youtube

This song is already a memory in my head.

I try to document what I can when in Salim's vicinity. He doesn't do song intros so much as tell stories or drop clues. If I put my camera down between songs, I try to grab the clues as they go by.

If it's a song like the ubiquitous "1978," for example, I know that the world won't suffer if there's one more copy missing in the digital world.

It was the last show on the February 2020 tour - 02/09/20 at the Black Cat in Washington, DC.

I was already in a low mood knowing our adventure was coming to an end. It was a delight when Salim threw out some Marty Willson-Piper clues and we were treated to this gem.

Track Two: Loved by You

(digital art by me)

Look for: the clean, almost Joshua-tree era, ringing notes of the guitar and the lyric that gave rise to the title of Salim's 2018 album, Somewhere South of Sane.

This song is earnest. A plea. I want to be loved by you. I need something and maybe you don’t notice. Maybe it feels like you don’t care even if you care a lot. Even if the daily grind is only a grind because you are trying to prove how much you care. But words are words and actions are actions. YOU is the emphasis. Not the collective “you,” not “I want to be loved by you… mysterious person I haven’t met yet.” It’s the pick me, choose me, love me scene from Grey’s Anatomy. In my head, I see someone lost behind a newspaper and the other person has to rip it away – I’ve been here the whole time. It doesn’t matter if it ends badly. Love me and – no matter what – we get to be glad it happened. No wondering “what if.”

Track Three: Under Attack

(Procreate art by me)

Look for: the syncopated nature of the chorus – “Ticker tape of useless thoughts…”

I have written before about the “emergency – break glass” nature of songs in my life – and as I have strung these Salim Nourallah-inspired narratives together over the course of several years, I am left wondering if I’m accidentally putting together his biography or my own—this song fits in to that category.

Keep this song to fight off the negative inner monologue that most of use deal with on a daily basis:

If the average human can manage 60,000 thoughts a day and 80% are negative, we can use all the help we can get.

There has to be a moment in the writing of certain songs where the writer pushes back from his physical and/or emotional “desk” with a satisfied grin and says, “damn, I’m good.” This song contains one of those moment: Misery keeps you company/always feeds you loving lies …

Absolute perfection.

Negative self-talk may be lies, but at the end of the day, we are the only ones inhabiting the space between our ears. It’s hard not to listen.

Track Four: I Don’t Know

This is another up-beat number with weighty content.

The optimism possibly of youth/newness… then confusion. Things are a certain way… and then they aren’t. I am here. I am with you. I am doing this thing or that. Remove one piece and the rest start to wobble, topple, fall.

It’s easy to pack the days of your life with so much activity, you can’t or won’t question if you are where (or with whom) you are supposed to be. Work all day, come home, eat dinner, play with the kids, walk the dog, fall in to bed so exhausted, you don’t have the time or inclination to question if you are where you are supposed to be. I’m content… but am I happy?

I don’t know if the future holds is what I want/And that can be a pretty scary thought

Love… and fear. Could there be anything more native to the human condition?

Track Five: You are Beautiful

This is another song to keep in your emergency kit.

Unlike Under Attack, this song is slower and more wistful but the same themes of negative thoughts and beliefs are woven throughout. Again – we are the only one truly inhabiting ourselves and therefore we are our greatest barrier to just seeing ourselves and where we are; sometimes the greatest liar is our own nature.

We make what we visualize/come to be, come to life

Suicide took a dear friend of mine this year. I can’t help, but think of him when I hear this song.

Sometimes the lens we gaze through is permanently darkened and the light never comes.

And we stay lost.

Still, the message I take away from this song is hope. “You are beautiful… and perfect in every way.”

Track Six: The Sound of Suffering

Pair with Let’s Be Miserable Together (from Salim’s 2020 EP of the same name), sometimes it’s more fun to hang out on your cross than to climb down and live life; to take advantages of good things that might come your way… if you weren’t busy with fingers plugged firmly in ears going “lalala.”

Through the sound of your suffering/Can you hear anything else?

Track Seven: I Can’t Take Another Heartbreak

youtube

(video by me from 10/19/19 Sons of Herman Hall gig)

Another deeply catchy tune that yanks the rug out from under you.

I actually guessed this would be a single (Salim assures me only two of the tracks on the album have that distinction and this was not one of them – color me surprised.)

We all deal with daily heartbreak. To be alive in the 21st century is to be slowly and methodically crushed mentally, physically, emotionally. Daily life and all it contains will break your heart. I’m dealing with everything I can right now and you want to throw happiness in to the mix? There’s no time for that, I’m going to be late for work.

Your partner stands at the home threshold watching you run off. Their heart in a brown paper bag, held out like a sack lunch you forget, “Come back…?”

I can’t right now. No time.

Gut punch line of this track: I love you/You love me/So how come neither one of us is happy?

Track Eight: Avalanche

(Procreate art by myself)

Listen for: the visceral, unsettling Twin Peaks-style bassline.

This song hurts. The pain will be different to each listener because, again, we are viewing Salim’s art through the lens of our own experience, but this song is easily the rawest track on the album. And unlike the other tracks, with pain as an undercurrent to a snappy beat, there is nothing here to protect us. The doubt, the fear, the what ifs in the other songs all culminate in this deadly lyric: our love don’t stand a chance.

I think a lot of you will understand when I describe this song in terms of cold: how you can occupy space with someone and feel the ice coming off of them in waves. You have to move out of the way, change rooms, go somewhere else or your fingers and toes might start to blacken. A regard you used to be able to bask in; turn your face up to and drink in like flower drinking in the rays of the sun, turns deadly and soon there will be nothing left. No safe place to go.

I read the beginnings of a book or an article or something a long time ago (probably recommended by any of a number of therapists I’ve had), equating relationships to a series of choices to either turn toward or turn away from your person even if the turning toward is to just mention something mundane, “Hey, did you see that thing I saw?” “Huh. Yea, weird.”

The turning away in this song is complete. Lovers are now enemies. Ears are deaf. All the chances used up. Salim’s whispery delivery evokes fear of final collapse and consumption. If I say this any louder, if I ask you to see me one last time, the snow and debris will come rumbling down…

Too late.

Track Nine: Invisible Man

(pictured lifted from Salim's Facebook and reimagined by myself using Procreate)

I'm an invisible man/You don't notice me/I'm like a potted plant...Losing self-respect just as fast as I can

Familiarity breeds contempt. Unlimited access will get you taken for granted so fast your green, leafy head will spin.

A week ago... a month ago... a year ago - name your time frame, the inevitable progression of a relationship will go from the happy, drunk-dazed, rapid heartbeat flush of infatuation (aka The Fun Part) to conquest won. Come here, do this, watch this show I know you hate, do this thing I know you hate, hold my purse, stand there. Wait for me to come back.

The trying stops. The danger begins.

Track Ten: Let Go

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This song was familiar to me and -upon the first few listenings I couldn't place why as some of the lyrics are edited from their original form. Finally, it was pinpointed - a version has been up on Salim's YouTube channel for years now and in the past, I've put his channel up and let it play just to keep me company while I did other things.

(This is a political cartoon from the Houston Chronicle that I altered for my own purposes)

This song puts me in mind of the quote about monkeys in rooms writing Shakespeare. I wonder how much of the human experience is practically identical and yet we all suffer shoulder-to-shoulder in silence.

Let go/You've gotta let go/Surrender to the things you can't control

I've had a similar idea in mind evolved from years in therapy: control what is in your power to control.

For better or worse, the musical journey is over.

Make whatever sense of it you wish, the material presented here is from a time past in the writer's life. Decisions were already made, hurts felt, love lost and found and lost again in whatever order makes sense to you as the listener. Like a Little Lending Library or one of those penny dishes at the gas station: take what you need from this song/album/life and move on.

Let go.

***

Look for this album: May 2023.

Salim's Bandcamp

Part One of this article

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charlie-ver · 1 year

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hey i see you reblog a lot of stuff about asking about ur ocs, so here goes! pick one of your faves, and i'd love to hear about how they went from initial design concept to where they're at now, and why you made the changes you did along the way! it's real cool to me to see why and how other artists make the design decisions they do :)

(I went OFF sorry I started kinda talking about lore as well ;w; )

OK!! Hi, thank you for the question. So, I don't know how familiar you are with them, so while Liam has had the most redesigns, it still stayed in the same park.

Let me then talk about my beloved man, the blorbo, my one and only husband, Ignis Azario. UNFORTUNATELY I lost all the old art and made this some time ago, so the outfits are less accurate than to what they were before, but:

This, Nicholas Nazet, was later "replaced" by Ignis. I am putting it in quotes because while I lack the art, they're still the same concept to me. Since I was more just thinking about them and had little time for art, most of the evolution in terms of visuals happened off-screen.

(I know this is boring, but I'm just thinking about him right now and also this will be shorter than, like, Liam, who has been making me rot on the inside since fucking 2020. Who are you, sir.)

First the evolution went via text only, because, well, I was writing about these two. I don't remember which story it was, but I think it was the one the beginning of which I later reused for "what does it take" (as I don't know who you are I don't know if you know what I'm referring to - I very closely guard with whom I share my stories). Anyway. He was still a magician. This was actually around 2020 I think? There are some doodles of Actual Percy in my 2020 - 2021 sketchbook and there is a mention of Ignis/Nicholas and also a doodle of Already Ignis? It gets a little scattered because it clearly is BEFORE Ignis became who he is but the second page has and actual doodle of Actual Ignis with his broken horn so I'm assuming there must have been a few months between those pages.

(this sketchbook page says: Elite hunter, along with Ignis (which is written over "Nicholas") Azario (also his lover)) --> PRE-HUSBANDS ERA HERE

this is on the page next to it: already Ignis as he is now, so there was quite the TIME between those

Anyway, yes, Nicholas' surname was at some point changed first to "Nazario" actually and then to "Azario". The actual inspiration for Nicholas was from some random visual novel about ghost/demon hunters.

I think I've them just let Ignis sit for a while, until one fateful day in 2021 when I was playing around with color palette challenges. That was when this hot thing was born - around 20th of September, to be specific. I just wanted to draw a hot and evil guy. That's it.

You can see that this is very out of character, and actually not even canon now. It used to be - the moment I made this design, I knew I needed to keep him, I knew I needed him in my life. I also wanted some actual character that started out forced-evil and little fucked up but ended up good. So initially Ignis was still with his terrible mother and acting as a killing machine way until his adulthood.

As you can see, I liked this so much I have not changed the colors since.

And then I added more marks, because I wanted to. As lovely of a body as is the one above, theeeeere was just some lack (: also I wanted more of the lighter color in general. (you can see that he doesn't actually have a mark here on his chest - that came later as well when I was developing the general concept of Hunters more)

Latest change came last year, where I added a scar to his back from an exorcism (:

And... Yeah, that's it. I probably have more interesting timelines in terms of purely design evolution, but Ignis definitely changed the most? Just not gradually.

Also the others (Liam and Rein for example), feel free to ask for more, but you asked for a favorite and that's 100% Iggy, my beloved <3

#answered #oc tag: ignis azario #oc #pollutedghostocs

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texasobserver · 1 year

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From “The Who Behind ‘Where Wolf’” by culture correspondent Nguyên Lê:

Sorry, Waldo, but folks won’t ask for your whereabouts this time around.

In Robert Saucedo’s horror-comedy graphic novel Where Wolf, a lycanthrope is racking up quite the body count in College Station, prompting journalist Larry Chaney to track it down. The hunt also provides Chaney relief from the occupational “ennui” he’s experiencing. His search soon puts him in touch with the local furry community, where the part-man, part-canis lupus assailant has gone to blend in—and to feast.

A real life furry emailed Saucedo when the first chapter (of the 12 in his book) went live as a webcomic on the horror publication Fangoria. This furry reader asked if his inclusion of that subculture stemmed from hatred.

The reaction had him recalling when he was the features editor of the Battalion, Texas A&M University’s student newspaper: “I assigned a story to one of the reporters about the local furry population. That was one of the most controversial stories in the paper—we had hate mail coming in for months!”

He countered the assumption by sending a link to Where Wolf’s first four chapters and earned an admirer who would also give him self-created fan art and that from others. He added, “I never thought I would get erotic fan art of something I wrote, but I’ll take it!”

The graphic novel is Saucedo’s first—and a self-financed—leap into the world of sequential art, one that also features illustrations and coloring from Debora Lancianese plus lettering from former Marvel staffer Jack Morelli.

To the latter, Saucedo has captured lightning in a bottle. Over email, he wrote that “The body language and facial expressions are flawless, as is the storytelling, all moving seamlessly from horror to humor to pathos to gore and back again.”

Saucedo, a Port Arthur native who has spent time in McAllen, Bryan/College Station, and now lives in Houston, said three figures served as inspirations for Where Wolf’s Larry Chaney: the protagonist and the actor playing him in the 1941 film The Wolf Man, the namesake of Gregory Mcdonald’s Fletch series, and the author’s own experience.

Indeed, Saucedo worked for a Bryan–College Station Eagle as a reporter for about a year until dissatisfaction reared its head. He wasn’t confident enough in his writing. The switch to copy editing also didn’t work out. He added, “Larry is kind of like an avatar of where I thought I might be, professionally and emotionally, had I stayed in journalism, which is, to say, also not happy.”

His initial vision for the project was, in fact, a tribute to the journalism profession.

“When Larry finds out that there’s a werewolf attacking the town,” Saucedo said, “he sees this as a big chance to get all the fame and glory he has been chasing his entire life. That’s where I was at in my life—I spent most of my 20s and 30s chasing that ‘fame and glory’ before realizing you kind of have to work for what you want to get.”

Saucedo found plenty of time to work on Where Wolf in 2020 when COVID hit and the Alamo Drafthouse, where he had programmed films, furloughed him. He applied the “a chapter a day” mantra and finished a full draft in less than two weeks. At this stage, his work was an online novel. (“No one was reading it—I could see the traffic on my website”). He briefly considered turning it into a podcast, but plans were scrapped after he realized he would need a sound editor (and an industry pro he met quoted him $10,000).

A graphic novel, then, became the best medium for Where Wolf. He could invest in artists and nourish his love for cinema.

“Having watched as many movies as I have, you kind of think in a very cinematic way when you’re trying to tell a story,” Saucedo said. “The rule of thumb I basically had when I talked to Deb was, ‘Even if you take out all the dialogue, the page still needs to look funny.’”