#most of my friends agree that 7th grade sucks ass

[stars-and-birds]

*worst as in socially, not academically

me personally seventh grade was the worst year of my life but freshman year is pretty uncomfy too.

reblog! and put where you live, if ur comfortable with that

[shiro-0197]

aw shiro, my love, don't worry about it!! i only hope you're okay and safe :d please only reply when you're free, and don't feel bad about it!! >:(

my day yesterday was okay, i've just been relaxing, and studying occasionally. went out to explore a nearby town too, it's so pretty there. and much colder (since it's a highlands) of course!! Today was great too. I bought doughnuts (they're amazing?? I love doughnuts), and I had instant ramen, but it was SO spicy I nearly died. (Three bottles of water later, because someone finished all the milk in the household *cough* me *cough*) and I'm still just reeling. Sucks having such low spice tolerance HAHA. I'm listening to some old school hip-hop rn, while typing this out :D how were your two days?

here are some i'll be using to teach english :d and that would honestly be much appreciated, he's getting on my last nerve rn. (I included the first few, what do you think?)

thats such a priceless feeling i so totally agree. you're so precious 🥺🥺 i'm sure they're prouder thank you imagine. you're so dedicated!! i'm sure all that extra research you've done will definitely pay off. it's good that you know what the job is roughly like, so you'll be really prepared when you finally do start it. you know that one scene, in the 2nd season of the great pretender? when the chinese mafia boss emphasizes the importance of a translator in literally everything? (like that book award example) i may be getting the thing muddled up, but i found that so cool. like yeah, a book or speech could be absolutely beautiful, but if everyone can't enjoy it due to it being a different language, it would be such a shame. i just find translators really important. sorry, i'm really dorky haha 🥺🥺

awww but i think your personality type is wonderful. a lot of my favourite characters are intj (they're all so precious istg grrrr) yes!! i was in a tooru brainrot yesterday too 😭😭😭 (saw a bunch of couples on my walk, and I was like "if only Tooru was real grrrr") and yes?? there'd be so much to learn from each and every one of them. dedication from hinata, savage lines from tsukki, kindness from yams/yachi, how to be a dork 101 from atsumu. aaaah 😭😭i'm sorry they're all so wonderful.

No pftttt I totally feel you. I saw some people without masks today and I was like "bro wtf" and just really loudly said "I sure hope everyone starts following the rules so the cases don't increase" because I'm a lil bitch like that xD

awww okay!! I'll definitely keep that in mind. Mayo makes everything better, tbh >.< aww that's understandable! I don't have specific preferences but hearing the phrase "soggy cheese" makes me want to cry somewhere :( I don't like nuts in chocolate. I'm very passionate about that? XD ikr??

I'm surprised too, I usually never pass on murder, but I guess you're just special like that 👉👈 sir I'd get married to you as many times as you'd like 😼 oops sorry for being cheesy, but—you like cheese ;)

U

I won't ask why, don't worry. Since I kinda feel the same about Malaysia tbh. It's a love hate relationship, I think HAHA but yeah 😣😣 i don't look up to US at all, and it sucks because people generally do. And I'm just like ;-; why (no offense to Americans tho lol)

is that even legal omg they're so chaotic?? XD how cute tho. Angel does stuff like that all the time too, but I'd never know that when I first met her (she has the most perfect exterior, and then when you get to know her; she's the biggest dork) Schools opening on the 20th, I can't wait to see her then :] (I can, however, wait for the exams which are scheduled for the 25th ugh)

peanut butter is indeed yellow, not up for discussion hehe :) here's my favourite hues!! I love gentle, soft hues like these (pastels) , for yellow; I don't have a favourite. they're all wonderful

ahhh no that's so precious of you!! :)) I'm smiling rn.

yeah skdhskdjsk I'M JUST SO GRRR. Whenever someone goes "hey Ari can you ______" and we both respond?? The tension?? In the air?? Bro skdjskks. 😔🤚 You share a name with one of the most precious characters too tho!!;

This is Shiro from Voltron hehe. I love him so much, just like I love you (tho I'm sure we both know I love you more <3)

I share a name with a book character. His name is Aristotle Mendoza, but his crush-turned-boyfriend calls him "Ari" (which has been my nickname since I was 12). Reading it for the first time was the BEST feeling ever. It's also my favourite book, "Aristotle and Dante discover the secrets of the universe".

—Ari :D (no pfttt I love the tag so much. I have my own tag, that's like the best thing ever 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺)

Heyyy I'm so sorry for answering so late!! I know you said not to apologize but..... well hmm no excuse I just feel like apologizing, but either way thank you for your patience!!♡ This is the third time I'm rewriting this, and this time I'm doing this in my notes because fuck it😔

Im glad to hear that!! Highlands are always so pretty. Wish we had those here, but it's only steppe here:( Boring~ ooh, donuts!!! They're really good. I havent much, but I tried them like 3 times and they're so good. I really hope I will get to eat more<3 also WHAT'S THOSE NOODLES' NAME I WANNA KNOW- Are you feeling okay now, though? XD

My days were nice!!! Felt as if I had been hiding three bodies, but I've been feeling better lately. We had online school yesterday so I'm excused from the errands for the half of the day, thankfully. But your messages make me very happy. Though I dont always feel like writing a response (or I get stressed because it doenst save) so very sorry for that😔

Ohh those look so pretty!! I'd totally join to just look at them. The colors are so nice🥺 it looks like one of our olympiad prep slides, though better. I dont have the screenshots sadly😩 Either way I really love the little details like the squiggly thingies or the Ж .... they seem unnecessary but the energy changes a lot without them hehe

I really hope they will be🥺 that'd mean a lot to me. And I'm also really hopeful itll work out. I really don't wanna disappoint my family, which is literally just one person. The less people there are, the more it hurts, you know?

Yeah, that scene meant so much to me!! I dknt remember much, but I was very happy they said something like that, because I've been told being a translator wont work out for me. Now look at me, I'm about to tell them to fuck themselves<3 I was also so surprised to see Laurent know that many languages ..... I aspire to be like him😩 And honestly, I havent though so deep of that but you opened my eyes and now I'm about to float off into the next universe😭 dont apologize though, its very cute!!!♥︎♥︎

Heheh, I guess you're right.. every single anime INTJ is a silent sexy mastermind and I love them . ... YEAH every single time I see a passing couple i cry because I dont have anyone 😡💔 and sometimes when I see people doing something amusing (which includes people failing cuz I'm evil) I just imagine one of the characters doing that and I smile all the way xD Honestly, I'd sell my father on black market for a single day with one of them:( though that may sound like a really low price because his cigarette filled lungs wouldnt cost a lot... I sound like my 7th grade self again I'm so sorry

BAHQHHANEJWJD I HOPE THEY WERE EMBARRASED. I HOPE THEY FELT AWKWARD AND OTHER PEOPLE DID TOO, they deserve it. Like, learn your lesson bitch, it's been a year!

Yeah!!! I love mayo, not to the point where I would gulp it down from the package, but it does make dishes taste good. Same, soggy cheese on itself sounds like a dish served in the ninth circle of hell. You should try nuts in honey!! Like, just straight up dip them in honey. Sounds weird, and it doesnt always taste NEJFJKSKF (depends on the honey)but I think it's worth trying xD Walnuts are the best with honey I think

That was so funny ... TOO FUNNY, I LAUGHED FOR LIKE . 3MINUTES STRAIGHT and I do not laugh when I'm tired. You really are special 😭😭😭😭 cheesy ... HAHRNFJJSF

I'm so sorry for being a bully like that but it's so funny how you left a single U there . Its so mysterious, was it in purpose? Or were you lost in the excitement if messaging me?

I was one of those people, honestly 😭 but mostly because I wasnt aware of its political condition, I guess. Maybe theres more than just politics that's bad about US, but honestly, it has more opportunities than this hellfire. Though now I'm more into Norway and Japan. Really wanna travel there :(

Heheh, yeah, we never really show off to strangers at first. I dont know what exactly I mean by we, but you get my point ♡ Good luck though!! I hope it goes well for you<3

Oh they looks so pretty!! They're really wonderful. Like bubblegum and cotton candy and literally anything sweet... it's so cute !!! And I totally agree, there isnt a bad yellow.

HAHAH, honestly, that reminds me of how there were 4 people with the same name in my class, and whenever the teacher did the attendance thing, they would all stand up. Teachers usually dont say the last names, so we always gotta ask which person they mean if theres more than one person with that name, so yeah.. That happened on accident at first, but then they just did it for trolling xD

OH MY GOD HES SO PRETTY? HES SO PRECIOUS?? HUHHH??? I gotta thank Kuro for this wonderful opportunity of sharing a name with someone like .... him🥺

Oh that's so cool!! Also, he has a boyfriend ... I really need to start reading xD it's so cute though! It sounds like such a good book, I'm glad you share a name with him, hehe!!

I also share my real name with one of the characters in a kids' show, and its SO ugly, I'm in pain. Every time my friends see one of those on TV they go

Which is a pain in the ass, it's so embarrassing...........

Awh, okay!! I'm glad you love it, cuz I do too. Because it's your name.... cuz I love u. That was so lame PLEASEJWJDJSJF I HOPE YOUR DAY WAS GREAT !!! LOVE YOU

[artificialqueens]

But I'm A Cheerleader! - Chapter 30 (Aja x Farrah) - Millie

A/N: Happy 1 year anniversary to this fic! The first chapter was submitted on April 7th last year, hence why I decided to publish this chapter at the same time. I can’t believe it’s taken me a year to reach 30 chapters! Also during the time of writing this chapter I met a load of queens including Farrah which was literally the best night of my life and she was incredibly sweet. As a little celebration I made a Spotify playlist for this fic :)

 When Monday came around, the cheerleaders received an announcement from Miss Visage, with Cynthia standing by her side. They’d both come to the conclusion that they’d need to host auditions to acquire new cheerleaders in time for when the seniors graduated. There were six in total - Charlie, Cynthia, Nina, Alexis, Kimora, and Peppermint - and they needed to fill every spot to fit the routines that they did.

 "Since RuPaul’s Glamazons won this season, we decided that they could be in charge of auditions,“ Miss Visage had told them all first thing in the morning. “B-52 Bombers: you can attend if you’d like, but the Glamazons will get first pick from the lineup if you don’t.”

 "I’ll definitely be there,“ Cynthia had assured. "You can go to your classes instead and I’ll pick the best girls!”

 A feeling of excitement had bubbled in Aja’s stomach. She missed cheerleading so dearly since football season had ended and they were waiting so desperately for their results from the tryouts. She’d never had the privilege of attending an audition as a judge before, as previous captains had been much stricter and the teachers less involved. Even if she wasn’t going to perform, it filled her with happiness to witness someone else do it. Plus, she got to wear her cheer uniform, which she hadn’t even looked at since the tryouts.

 They organised to host the auditions in a week’s time, and Shea got to creating the advertisements. The end result was a giant header, reading, “Cheerleader Auditions,” in a sparkly, pink font that resembled the format of some text from Microsoft Publisher, with, “Monday after school in the gym - GOOD LUCK!” written underneath in cursive. It looked very girly (not to perpetuate stereotypes, Aja reminded herself) and almost childish, but all of them were happy with it and it got straight to the point.

 So, when next Monday quickly arrived, everyone was raring and ready to get this going. They put up signs on the gym door to less-than-subtly remind people of the auditions, and provided sheets outside for people to put their name, age, grade, etc. down so that they were easy to keep track of. Aja admired her team’s organisation skills, and everything felt very professional.

 Sitting at the table in the gym were all of RuPaul’s Glamazons, as well as Cynthia, Valentina, and Eureka. The rest of the Bombers had decided that class was more important, even if it was almost the end of the year, and so had passed on this opportunity.

 "Who’s next?“ Aja asked, who was sitting on the right-hand side of the table.

 Cynthia, who was next to her, flipped through the application forms for a moment. So far, most of the girls had been fairly disappointing.

 Her eyes widened once they landed upon the name at the top of the sheet in her hands. "Oh, my God,” she said.

 "What?“ Aja questioned. "Someone famous or something?”

 "Well, kind of,“ Cynthia replied. "Brianna Cracker - that’s Bob the Cheerleader’s younger sister! And Peppermint’s cousin!”

 Aja’s expression mirrored Cynthia’s, as did the rest of the table. “You mean Miz Cracker?” she asked. “Apparently she goes by that now.”

 "Have you guys seen her cheer before?“ Jaymes asked. "I saw her with who I presume is her old team a couple years ago at a convention centre and she won some trophy.”

 "Then I imagine she’s pretty good,“ Shea said. "Should we call her in?”

 Cynthia nodded. “Miz Cracker!” she called towards the door, and a second later, a petite, blonde girl walked in.

 She looked nothing like Bob. First of all, she had extremely voluminous, blonde waves, and was about a foot shorter than Bob was. However, all of them were sure that their talent would be on the same level, or at least, they were hopeful.

 "Hiya,“ Cracker said with a grin.

 "Hey,” Sasha said. “What kind of position are you auditioning for?”

 "Preferably a flyer,“ she replied.

 "Alright; go ahead,” Sasha said. “Show us what you have.”

 Cracked nodded curtly, and quickly tied her hair back into a low ponytail. She leapt forward into a front handspring, looking almost weightless as she did it. Next, she did a backflip before cartwheeling, landing in the splits. Compared to other people they’d seen, this was quite advanced, especially for a sophomore. A lot of the current cheerleaders had only learnt moves like that from being on the team, certainly not before that.

 She pulled herself up and bowed, receiving a round of applause form everyone.

 "Seniors? Any requests?“ Sasha asked, looking around the table. They had agreed that the seniors could have the most say in who would join the team, especially considering that they were the ones being replaced - the new girls had to carry on that talent.

 "Can you do a back handspring?” Eureka asked.

 "I can try…“ Cracker said. She took a visibly deep breath before bending her knees and throwing herself backwards into a shaky back handspring, landing precariously on her feet. Eureka seemed impressed, raising her eyebrows.

 “Great!” Cynthia said, smiling. “Can you cheer?”

 “Sure…!” she replied hesitantly. “What do you want me to say?”

 “We are RuPaul’s Glamazons; got our cheering panties on,” Aja piped up. She was impressed thus far, and if she heard the Glamazons’ words come out of her mouth, she could be even more convinced of Miz Cracker’s talents. “Our beat is unstoppable; our hair is unclockable.” Cracker got her gist and went ahead.

 “We are RuPaul’s Glamazons; got our cheering panties on!” she belted, a grin spread across her face. “Our beat is unstoppable; our hair is unclockable.“ She concluded with one hand on her waist and the other up in the air, shaped into a triumphant fist. It was convincing enough.

 "That was great!” Sasha encouraged. “Thanks for coming. We’ll let you know at the end if you made the cut.”

 "Thanks!“ Cracker nodded at her before leaving the gym, more spring in her step than before.

 -

 The next girl to impress everyone was surprisingly a freshman: Aquaria. However, Aja wasn’t pleased at this. Sure, she was quite talented, but she had a vibe about her that made her seem, frankly, unlikable. She looked fairly similar to Miz Cracker and had pretty much the same skill set as her, which was even more annoying; there would certainly be fights over who got who.

 Kameron was another very impressive student. She had the biggest muscles that Aja had ever seen on a girl, especially someone of a sophomore age, and was strong enough to lift a person by herself (which she demonstrated on Cynthia). She seemed quite sweet, too, and her cheers were filled with enthusiasm.

 The cheerleaders went through several other girls before they finally landed on another talented person, and that was Monét. Aja knew Monét through Bob and Luis, and knew she’d tried out for the team a couple times in the past. She had no idea why they hadn’t taken her on previously; her stunts were absolutely phenomenal.

 Yuhua was straight after that, and was just as charismatic. Her cheering was loud and clear, which was exactly what they were looking for, and her stunts were some of the smoothest they’d seen so far.

 To finish, there was The Vixen.

 Cynthia had first addressed her as simply, "Vixen”, which she wasn’t pleased about.

 ”The Vixen,“ she had corrected immediately, which at first gave her the same air as Aquaria. However, after that, she was perfectly nice, and her performance was sharp. Aja would watch out for her if she ended up with the Glamazons. Shea had been to middle school with her and they were close friends, and apparently she was notorious for her dancing.

 -

 "Is that everyone?” Aja asked, trying to peer through the door that The Vixen was leaving through. The rest of the girls that had auditioned were still standing there restlessly, some tapping one foot or shifting between legs to stand on.

 "I guess so,“ Cynthia said.

“What’s the verdict?” Shea questioned. “Does everyone know who they want?“

 "I think it’s obvious who the best are,” Alexis said. “I mean, everyone else was boring as fuck compared to Cracker, Kameron, Monét, Yuhua, and The Vixen. And, dare I say it, Aquaria.”

 "Do we really have to have her?“ Valentina complained. Being a freshman herself, she was perfectly aware of Aquaria’s irritating tendencies. Aja thought they would’ve been friends, considering that they were both up their own asses. Maybe Aquaria wasn’t quite with the whole backstabbing thing yet.

 ”Someone has to take her,“ Shea said. "I think we should get first pick - we have two people leaving and you guys have four, so chances are you’ll get at least one person you want.”

 Cynthia didn’t seem happy about this, biting her bottom lip. However, she decided to just suck it up - she wasn’t the one who had to deal with the new girls.

 "Alright,“ she gave in. "You can have first pick.”

 Shea beamed, and instructed the rest of the Glamazons to head to the other side of the gym so they could discuss each performer. They sat down in a circle, hunching over to contain the volume.

 "So, who’s everyone’s favourites?“ Shea asked quietly. "Obviously, I have to go with my girl, The Vixen.”

 "I really like Cracker,“ Aja said. The tiny sophomore had really made an impression on her; she was so talented for such a young cheerleader, and according to Jaymes’ anecdote, she was experienced too.

 "I have to agree with Aja,” Jaymes said. “Plus, I thought Kameron was great.”

 Alexis hummed in approval, nodding. “She could replace me as a base.”

 "I think The Vixen was great,“ Nina said. "But Monét was my favourite.”

 "I loved Yuhua,“ Sasha added, "and Miz Cracker. She’d be an amazing flyer.”

 "I agree. Cracker was one of the best, as was The Vixen,“ Charlie chimed in.

 "So, we want Cracker?” Shea asked. “I’ve got to admit, she was pretty good.” The rest of the squad nodded.

 "I think our second pick should be Kameron,“ Aja advised. "Like Alexis said, she’d make a great base.”

 "I can see that happening,“ Sasha said.

 Shea furrowed her eyebrows. "I’d love her too, but there’s so many other girls that we could have on our team. It’s a hard choice.”

 "They’d still be cheerleaders,“ Aja said. "But they’d be Bombers. And we’re good with the Bombers now, so it’s not a total travesty.” Not to toot her own horn, but the peace treaty was all thanks to herself and Farrah.

 "Yeah, only because you’re banging one of them,“ Sasha teased, poking Aja in the shoulder. The group snickered, and Shea put her hand in front of her mouth so she wouldn’t burst out laughing.

 "Whoa!” Aja said, trying not to raise her voice louder than a normal speaking volume. “Who said we’re banging?”

 "You haven’t yet?“ Alexis asked. "Charlie and I totally thought you had.”

 Aja’s forehead creased. “No, we haven’t,” she said. “Maybe that’s weird for you, Alexis, but it’s not that weird.” She threw Alexis a half smile. She mocked offence, laughing a couple seconds later.

 "Anyway - off topic,“ Aja said, concluding the very brief discussion. "Let’s get back to the others.”

 The pushed themselves off of the ground and walked back over to the table where Cynthia, Eureka, and Valentina resided, their footsteps echoing throughout the mostly empty gym.

 "Have y'all made a decision?“ Eureka asked.

 Aja nodded. "We want Cracker, first and foremost,” she told them firmly. “And…”

 "Kameron,“ Shea whispered to her, as did Sasha and Alexis a second later.

 "Kameron,” Aja repeated.

 Cynthia wasn’t totally devastated - she had girls who were just as talented, even though she wanted Miz Cracker the most. However, Aquaria was just as skilled, and the remaining Bombers would have to make do, especially with that attitude.

 -

 "How were auditions?“ Farrah asked, strewn across her bed with one arm on her stomach, the other fiddling with the hem of Aja’s cheer shirt. Aja was sitting next to her, the arm closest to Farrah’s head propping her up.

 "Mostly boring,” Aja said. “But there were some really talented girls. You know Miz Cracker?”

 Farrah’s eyes lit up. “Of course,” she exclaimed. “Last year, when Bob was on our team, she took us to a tournament where Cracker was performing - she was amazing!”

 "We took her on,“ Aja said with a smile; she loved when Farrah got excited. "She’s a Glamazon, now.”

 Farrah scowled. “Why not a Bomber?” she questioned.

 Aja shrugged. “We got first pick.”

 "So, who’s on my team?“ she asked, eyes beaming. Aja just couldn’t help but want to kiss her when she had that happy expression.

 "Aquaria Needles, Yuhua Hamasaki, Monét X Change, and The Vixen. I don’t know what her last name is,” she replied. “And Kameron Michaels is the other Glamazon.”

 "I know Monét,“ she said. "Her and Cracker are, like, best friends. And I’ve spoken to Kameron a couple of times.”

“They all seem really nice,” she said. “Well, apart from Aquaria - she was quite full of herself.” She let out a yawn; the stress and exhaustion of the auditions was finally catching up to her, and she was suddenly feeling tired. The gym contained nothing but harsh overhead lights, which really made her, and all the cheerleaders’, eyes ache.

 "Those auditions tiring you out, huh?“ Farrah commented, shifting on the bed so that she was sitting up, opposite Aja. She caressing her cheek, sliding the pad of her thumb slowly over her skin and supporting her head with her fingers.

 Aja nodded as she yawned again, her eyes closing in a slow blink, feeling very much how she imagined Farrah felt when she was indulged in this way.

 "Can I make you feel better?” she asked, looking up through her lashes at her girlfriend. “Relieve some stress?”

 Aja raised her eyebrows at her, suddenly perky, and stifling a disbelieving laugh - she’d never heard Farrah speak like that before, although part of her knew that Farrah could sweet talk her way through anything, as if sweet talk were her native language.

 "Go ahead,“ Aja responded. "Relieve it.”

 Farrah pushed forward until her lips met Aja’s, and her hands slid to her girlfriend’s bare shoulders, her skin sunkissed and warm. She squeezed softly, her pastel pink, chipped nails digging into Aja’s skin ever so slightly, and her lips matched the slow pace. Gently, but with confidence, Aja was pressed flush against the wall, her Dutch braids slightly uncomfortable against the flat surface, but she didn’t mind - it was Farrah, who could always manage to distract her from something.

 Farrah pulled away a couple of centimetres, immediately dipping her head towards Aja’s neck, and the sudden, new contact sent a flame down her back, forcing out a shiver and an almost silent whimper.

 Farrah smiled at the results; Aja could feel the twinge in her lips. “You okay?” she drawled, gliding her hands down from Aja’s shoulders to her ribs, running her thumbs along the exposed parts.

 Aja, far too distracted, suddenly realised she should reciprocate. Her hands dove to Farrah’s thick, blonde hair, tugging lightly as an encouragement.

 "I’m great,“ she breathed out, sighing heavily.

 "Good,” Farrah replied, planting soft kisses all the way down to Aja’s collarbone, all previous kisses feeling suddenly cold without the contact.

 Aja untangled her legs and wrapped them around Farrah’s hips, feeling kind of ridiculous being the taller out of the two, but she didn’t pay it much attention. Farrah took that as a cue to go further, her hands travelling even higher to the hem of Aja’s cheer shirt. They both froze.

 "Can I?“ Farrah asked, tugging at the edges.

 Aja thought for a second - what did she have to lose?

 She nodded. "Do it,” she affirmed.

 With a little help, Farrah managed to lift the shirt over Aja’s head, the warm summer air hitting her chest. Maybe, she thought to herself, Alexis had foreshadowed this during the auditions today.

 Farrah glanced down at her chest: the bra was a pretty simple, everyday-wear design, but the blonde looked at it as if it were an intricate, lace garment that someone had slaved over for hours. Aja pulled Farrah’s face to her own again, kissing her more forcefully and tightening her grip around her waist. Farrah’s hands wandered further upwards, playing with the material of Aja’s bra, sliding forward until her right hand was on the cup, and she squeezed gently.

 Aja broke away, gasping lightly, her forehead leaning against Farrah’s.

 "Is this okay?“ Farrah asked, her hand supporting the material still. "Have you done this before?”

 Embarrassed, Aja shook her head. She’d never even had a relationship before, let alone an occurrence like this. “I’m okay, though,” she said, her voice coming out more timid than she’d expected. She wasn’t used to sounding this vulnerable.

 “You sure, baby?”

 She nodded quickly before diving back in, bouncing off the springboard into the kiss once more, further confirming her answer. Farrah squeezed the same place again but with more force, eliciting a moan that surprised both of them.

 Aja reached around the back of Farrah’s shirt and pulled it up from the hem, peeling it off of her without complaint, the two of them only separating so it could be removed completely. Farrah’s skin felt hot and smooth, reminding Aja of honey. She was just as sweet, too.

Before she closed her eyes again, she noticed the vast amount of freckles dotted along the tops of Farrah’s shoulders and back. They were barely visible when she had something like her cheer shirt on, and she didn’t realise how many there actually were. It was cute.

 Farrah’s hands travelled further down, snaking across Aja’s waist and landing on her ass. She began to undo the zipper on her cheer skirt, but not before breaking away to check with Aja that this was alright. And it was. She continued to tug the zip, which was getting stiff after three years of wear, and soon the item of clothing had been removed, tossed over the bedpost along with her shirt and any worries that they had.

 “Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?” Farrah said softly, kissing the corner of Aja’s jaw. Aja beamed as Farrah pulled away to regard her, her eyes glazing over her chest.

 “Hmm,” she feigned thought, “I think you have, but I’d love to hear it again.” 

Farrah giggled; a gentle sound that vibrated through both girls’ chests, creating a warm feeling of closeness. “You’re beautiful,” she reiterated. “Inside and out.” She craned her neck up again to reach Aja’s lips, holding on to her shoulders for support.

 Aja pulled back. “Let me make this easier for you,” she laughed. She leant them to the side so that Farrah’s head slowly fell into the pillow, and Aja positioned herself above her, straddling the blonde’s hips. “Better?” she asked, smirking.

 “Infinitely,” Farrah said. She pulled Aja down with her index finger under her chin, resuming the kiss, before both of her hands took their place along Aja’s back, running along the length of her torso as the kiss deepened. Instead of being full of energy like Farrah had “planned”, Aja felt like she could just melt into nothing right now, under Farrah’s gentle but confident touch. There was no place she would’ve rather been in that moment.

 Farrah’s hands followed the shape of her figure, all the way to Aja’s ass once again, squeezing with more intent, her nails marking the skin with no shame. Afraid of making a noise that Farrah’s mom could hear, Aja attempted to distract herself, hooking her finger around Farrah’s bra strap and playing with the delicate lace that decorated it. It felt natural, almost calming, and Farrah didn’t seem to mind - if anything, she knew it was nerves.

 Aja’s lips left Farrah’s momentarily, and the blonde tilted her head towards the lack of touch, practically begging for it. Instead, Aja dove downwards, directing her lips to Farrah’s neck; she sighed, sounding relieved, and muttered a very quiet, “Fuck”, when Aja trailed down to her collarbone, dragging her lips across heated skin that was becoming blotchy. She kissed all the way down to her chest, pausing at her bra and resuming again over the plane of her toned stomach. Within a matter of seconds, her lips reached the border of Farrah’s skirt - she didn’t dare go any further, no matter how loud the voice in the back of her head was screaming at her to do so.

 Farrah, fighting an urge as well, slightly disappointedly motioned Aja to come back up to eye level, using one hand to tug her upwards. But with the disappointment came relief; she valued Aja’s comfort over anything, and for someone who rarely expressed how she felt, she could tell that her girlfriend wasn’t ready in the slightest just by the way she suddenly froze below her navel.

 “Are you comfortable right now?” Farrah checked.

 Aja nodded. “Of course,” she replied. She noticed how swollen Farrah’s lips were. She also clocked the bright purple lipstick she always wore with her cheer outfit that ran down like animal tracks across the whole front of her body, and she couldn’t help but laugh.

 “What is it?” Farrah asked, looking down at whatever Aja was staring at. Once she noticed the trail of makeup, she joined in with the laughter. “I look like a radioactive leopard or something.”

 Aja sat back up, tracing the path of her lipstick with one finger. 

Something about its presence gave her a sense of pride; she’d left her mark on her, physically and probably emotionally. It reminded her that Farrah was hers (in a non-possessive way, obviously), and that she was Farrah’s.

 “What now?” Farrah asked, bringing Aja away from her thoughts. She was looking up at Aja with great, big, doe-eyes. Her breathing was slightly laboured and her heart-rate was still through the roof, she could feel it all under the one finger laying on her stomach. Aja thought she looked absolutely beautiful.

 She shook her head. “Nothing,” she lied. She wasn’t going to spew some sentimental crap after everything that had just happened, and even thinking about doing so made her cringe internally.

Despite knowing that “nothing” was certainly “something”, Farrah decided to not press on. Besides, if it were serious, Aja would tell her at some point. Instead, she sat back up, pulling Aja towards her. She looked into her eyes and then at her lips, where the purple lipstick had been just a few minutes before, and kissed her very softly, and Aja felt a gentle smile appear on the other girl’s lips. She raised her hands and tangled them in blonde waves which were now slightly mussed up, bringing her face closer and deepening the kiss for the millionth time that afternoon. It had been so long since either of them felt so close with another person.

Just as Farrah was pressing Aja against the mattress, the sound of a door moving across carpet interrupted them. Aja’s blood froze in her veins and her eyes shot open, and Farrah grabbed her t-shirt, as if that would do anything. Aja propped herself up on her elbows when she heard no other noise, only to realise what had caused it.

 “Fuck off, Fluffy,” Farrah huffed, exasperated.

 Aja laughed at her annoyance, and the calico cat chirped at her as soon as he saw her face, running over and waiting for Aja to extend her hand for a scratch.

 Farrah had received Fluffy as a birthday present when she was eight years old. Needless to say, he wasn’t what poor little Farrah had expected a cat to be. He refused cuddles, petting, any toys that were bought for him, and often resided in his bed, playing with something he’d found himself. However, after Aja had been to Farrah’s house several times, he immediately warmed up to her, much to the aggravation of Farrah - he absolutely adored her (except, who wouldn’t?).

 “Go away, you annoying cat,” Farrah demanded not-very-threateningly, sitting up and pointing her finger at the feline in question.

 “He just wants some attention,” Aja said. “Don’t you! You adorable, little thing,” she cooed. She always caved in front of animals. “Hey, you two have something in common!”

 Farrah’s jaw dropped open, and she swore she could see Fluffy smirking at her menacingly. But she knew Aja was right.

 Aja patted the bed so that Fluffy would jump up, and he did so, purring and rubbing his head against Aja’s. He rolled over next to her, inviting her in for a belly rub.

 “Such a little cockblock,” Farrah muttered under her breath, although Aja clearly heard it, but she was too busy stroking Fluffy to care.

 A few minutes went by, filled with contented purring and what could be considered hate speech from Farrah directed at her cat. Aja was happy, though. She had her girlfriend (albeit, not as amused) right above her, the cheer teams were more or less organised, and, most importantly, there was a very pleased calico next to her.

 Farrah huffed for what was probably the seventh time in those few minutes, tired of the attention not being on her, but instead on this miserable, grumpy animal. Aja looked up at her, raising one eyebrow, and her eyes met Farrah’s annoyed ones.

 “You want to be the focus now?” she joked. It wasn’t unusual for Farrah to stir up a fuss when Fluffy was brought into the mix. Aja just loved him too much, and gave in far too easily. Farrah pouted, nodding, and shooting a glare towards an oblivious Fluffy.

 Aja pushed herself upwards and shuffled along the bed, pulling Farrah with her before lying down, the blonde following suit. She smiled, content, and tucked a wisp of purple hair behind Aja’s ear that had escaped from her braid. Aja wrapped her arms around her, the feeling of skin on skin still unnatural to her, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. Just new.

 “You remind me of Tinkerbell,” Aja blurted out.

 “Hmm?” Farrah hummed. “Why’s that?”

 “You need attention or you’ll die.” Aja laughed when Farrah let out a noise of disagreement. “And you’re small.”

 “I’m not that small!” Farrah protested, but the fact that the top of Farrah’s head only reached Aja’s chin begged to differ.

 “See, you didn’t disagree with the attention thing,” she countered.

 “Shut up and cuddle me,” she said, grumbling, and pulled Aja closer to her. Aja did as she was told, wrapping her arms further around her girlfriend and stroking her hair. Meanwhile, Farrah traced lines across Aja’s skin, their paths having little meaning, but were subconsciously drawn denser in the places Aja had mentioned one night where she wanted tattoos. Her finger glided perfectly, like ink to paper.

 -

Aja expected herself to be asleep after such an exhausting day, but that wasn’t the case right now.

After washing the stray lipstick off in the shower, Farrah had got changed into pyjamas, getting into bed and forcing some affection on Fluffy, who’d surprisingly stayed in Farrah’s room for so long. Before that, she’d chucked Aja something to sleep in: an old t-shirt and shorts, the t-shirt previously belonging to Aja because she gave it away to her; everything else Farrah owned was slightly too small for her. After getting changed, they’d both crawled under the covers with the intention of sleeping, but Aja couldn’t seem to do it.

She was lying there on her back, staring up at the numerous Farrah Fawcett and Christina Aguilera posters that adorned the room, pressed against the cool, pink wall next to Farrah’s narrow bed. Farrah was turned to the side, her arms wrapped around Aja’s midsection and her head resting on her shoulder. Aja’s arm held her snugly against herself, outlining the curve of her shoulders.

With her free hand, she reached for her phone from underneath her pillow. Doing absolutely nothing was boring, so the least she could do was tire herself out by actually doing something, even if it wasn’t productive. She turned down the brightness on her screen so she wouldn’t wake a fast-asleep Farrah, and clicked on various social media until she found something vaguely interesting. After a while, she settled on Instagram, and mindlessly scrolled through posts in the hopes that her boredom would eventually soothe her to sleep. Beside her, Farrah remained unawake, her mouth slightly open, and Aja was envious.

After scrolling for a minute or so, Aja came across a photo of some old friends (if you could even call them friends anymore): Kandy, Momo, and Dahlia. Once again, they were hanging out without her somewhere, and the photo made them look like they were having the time of their life. The last time they’d invited Aja somewhere was over six months ago, and all the “invite” really was was, “We need to see each other more!”. Aja had made efforts to see them, she really had, but they always seemed to be busy. In times like this, she was more than grateful for Sasha. Even though they rarely hung out either, they were always in contact no matter what, and they could tell each other pretty much anything.

It was then that something clicked in her mind. Without so much as a second thought, Aja clicked on Kandy’s username which took her to her profile, and she firmly pressed the Unfollow button. She did the same with the other girls, and once her feed was clear of selfish friends, she felt herself breathe more easily. Years of friendship were gone at the click of a button, but there was no sense of loss. Besides, she was pretty sure they’d all unfollowed her at some point as well.

She tucked her phone back under her pillow and closed her eyes, sighing heavily. She opened them again a few seconds later and looked over at Farrah, peaceful, breathing slowly and steadily. A smile grabbed at the corners of her lips.

“I love you,” she whispered, even though everyone in the house was asleep. It wasn’t like anyone would hear.

“You’re the sweetest, you know that?” she continued just as quietly, not expecting any kind of response from her, but she felt it was important she said what she was thinking. “You deserve everything good that happens to you. And even more than that.”

Fluffy suddenly awoke and stretched his legs before jumping off of the bed. He didn’t seem happy that Aja was still directing all her attention on Farrah. Maybe the two were too similar to ever get along.

“One day, I want to get you a cat that will actually appreciate you,” Aja told her sleeping figure. “I’ll make sure it’s the nicest cat in the world, and it’ll be any colour you want.” Fluffy opened the door with his paw to exit the room, probably outraged at what he was hearing.

“See? He’s an asshole. He loves me, but he doesn’t love you, and what kind of animal wouldn’t love you? An asshole one.” She kissed the top of Farrah’s head, her hair as soft as silk against her lips. “You deserve everything.”

With that, Aja closed her eyes for good, her lids becoming more and more heavy. Her heart was warm and buzzing with a sensation she couldn’t name, but she always felt it around Farrah. And, right now, it was lulling her to sleep.

In moments like this one, Aja asked herself how she got so lucky. How so much drama and prejudiced hatred turned into a blossoming relationship, and how she’d fallen so hard. How, if she hadn’t been walking home so late, none of this would’ve happened, and the Glamazons and the Bombers would’ve still been sworn enemies.

With one last gentle and weary squeeze, Aja practically passed out from tiredness. The thoughts clouding her mind cleared, and a beautiful view of sleep was revealed.

Farrah pretended she hadn’t heard a single word. She pretended that the sudden light of Aja’s phone hadn’t woken her up, and she wasn’t kept awake by her girlfriend’s little monologue. She pretended that she didn’t want to break character and hug her until her arms gave out, and she pretended she wasn’t grateful for everything. She pretended she wasn’t about to cry from happiness, as she felt both of them drifting off back to sleep.

[kirakiraninja666-blog]

my sad, sad love life

Everything mentioned here is true and all names will be left out. In kindergarten, there was this girl that I fancied. She was very cute and kind to me. I recall that one day she read a book to my about blue whales, she spoke about her wanting to be a marine biologist when she was older. Later in the year, I brought cupcakes for my birthday. I sat in between her and another girl. This other girl was extremely happy that I brought cupcakes and kissed me on the cheek. The girl I liked was shocked that she did such a thing during class. We giggled and quickly forgot about it.

Fast forward to 3rd grade and shit got intense, like real intense, my nigga. I had gotten close to this one girl, we messaged each other a lot on the app called “Kik Messenger”. We pretty much had a relationship over text. We would say, “I love you” and, “I miss you” and shit like that to each other. I recall this one moment where she went to go to something and I was texting her friend and she said that “[we were] cute”. One day at recess, one of our friends got us together to talk about our feelings for each other. This shit was awkward as fuck, my nigga. Like I mentioned earlier, this was a text-relationship. We never spoke about our feelings to each other in person. It was pretty awkward and we never admitted our feelings to each other. I don’t remember how it ended but it ended somehow.

Now, onto 4th grade. I had gotten feelings for the girl I liked in kindergarten again. To be honest, I kinda liked her throughout most of elementary school but she was kind of an on and off crush. Anyways, we were on a Skype call on my birthday and she had a friend over. They had known about my feelings for her and they said shit like, “The ship sailed a long time ago” which made me fucking depressed. I cried that night, on my BIRTHDAY. I slept that night with my iPad next to me hoping to receive a Skype message that she had changed her mind or something. But, alas, it never happened. I slit my wrists, the pain helped me to stop thinking of her. I attempted to hang myself with toilet paper, hoping to leave this miserable world. Unfortunately, it failed. Oh well.

5th grade was pretty fucking cringy. There was this new girl at school. She was smart, funny, cute. We talked and we became close. We developed feelings for each other. I talked about this to my friend, the same one that made me and my “ex” confront each other at recess in 3rd grade. She told me to stop liking her, that she was “weird” or something like that. So basically what I did was I wrote an e-mail to her, with my friend’s help, ending our nonexistent relationship.

In 6th grade, there was cute Asian girl I met in math class. We talked a bit and I ended up liking her. Unfortunately, nothing happened because she had a boyfriend.

In 7th grade, I had gotten close to a girl, an Asian girl. She developed feelings for me and asked me out and I said, “LOL, no thanks b, we’re better off as friends. Try again next year OMEGALUL.” And that was that.

Later that year, around December, I had gotten feelings for another Asian girl. I liked her quite a bit and I told too many friends and she quickly found out that I liked her. She stopped talking to me completely and it was really awkward between us. Looking back at it, it’s pretty funny. I stopped liking her because I figured that there was no hope. I started to like someone else and the Asian found out and we started talking again.

Spring time of 8th grade, I was pretty good friends with this white girl. She also started to develop feelings for me and asked me out. I told her that I didn’t want to date anyone at the moment and would’ve preferred to wait until high school to start dating someone. She walked away very sad which made me feel bad but, ya know, it sucks to suck.

So probably around May of 8th grade I wanted to ask out this one girl to the 8th grade dance, known as “Formal”. We were quite close and talked a lot. She was pretty good looking and boy, oh boy, she’s thicc as fuck, my nigga. Anyways, she wasn’t really into me and this other kid asked her to the dance before me. I was devastated, I opened up to one of my close female friends. I told her that I was suicidal, that I had the urge to just swallow my phone and hope that it would suffocate me. She was there for me, she saved me, she was my hero. I quickly fell in love with her. I decided that I would ask her to the dance. I had two of my friends make a poster for me that I would use to ask her out. It was a huge success. People in the hall were cheering, they yelled, “OH YEAH!”, there were fireworks inside the school, shit was amazing. We hugged, walked outside together, and took a picture. We waited for her bus and she gave me a hug goodbye. I was practically smashing that girl. The next day I asked her to be my girlfriend and she said yes. The following day, it was awkward as fuuuuuck. We worked together on this project for health and I’d talk to her, start a conversation, but they just wouldn’t last that long. She didn’t really want to to talk to me. Later that day after school was over, she broke up with me and told me that we’d be better off as friends. I was sad. I had gotten into my first REAL relationship, albeit probably lasted less than 24 hours. I had to get over her though, there wasn’t really any way that relationship was going to work. She probably ended it because she though I had moved on too quickly, that I didn’t really have feelings for her, or perhaps she just wasn’t really interested in me.

Although the summer started off a bit rough, it would later turn out to be pretty fucking amazing, kind of. Around the end of July (I’m thinking it might’ve been July 22nd or some date close to that), I boot up my computer to play with my friend that I played with pretty much the whole summer. We’d get on in the morning and play until nighttime. This day was different, for I had gotten on around noon. Not surprisingly, he was already playing. I saw that he was playing in a group and asked for an invite. He was playing with this GIRL, a fucking gamer-girl, can you believe it? Those girls are pretty fucking rare. Anyways, I joined their group and we had a blast together. The 3 of us became close, we were a group, the modern day Three Musketeers. One day, my friend left for a couple days, I believe he traveled somewhere. She was also gone. I thought, “Damn, so is this where it ends? Is this where she stops talking to us?” but then I thought “She probably just doesn’t want to talk to me by ourselves, she likes my friend more than me.” My friend returned on the weekend, I think, and that’s when she got back online. She said the reason she wasn’t on was because her parents didn’t like her playing on the weekdays and that she was at this camp (this is actually all true, she wasn’t lying). When school started, we still found the time to talk to each other. My friend and her would get into some really stupid fights, fights that were just a big fucking waste of time and shouldn’t of happened. But, it’s okay, for I had had benefited from them. You see, my friend was closer to her than I was with her. But thanks to these fights, this quickly changed. She would talk to me and vent about my friend. I would agree with her and say that my friend was in the wrong (which he actually was most of the time). We’d play together, just the two of us. We’d go invisible on Discord and on Overwatch. We became each other’s best friends. We all lived pretty far from each other, my friend lives in Vermont and she lives in New York City. We’d talk about meeting each other over the summer (which is the summer that is currently being written in, by the way). One day, her and her friend told me that I should go to their school. I thought it was a great idea and we discussed it. Looking back at it, I don’t know what the fuck I was thinking, I actually thought that it would happen. Newsflash, my nigga, that shit ain’t ever going to happen. I thought about moving alone to NYC and going to their expensive ass school, $50k YEARLY TUITION for grade school. Hell no, that definitely wasn’t going to happen. My parents laughed and said no. I was actually kind of bummed, like I dead ass thought that it might’ve happened. Over time, we developed feelings for each other. Her friend asked me if I thought that she liked me and I told her no. She asked her and turns out that she did like me, I was insanely happy. Moving on, later that month she told me that there was a possibility of her coming to Maryland for winter break. I was fucking hyped but she told me not to get too excited because it all deepened on her aunt’s roommate leaving so they could have a place to sleep. Sometime in December she confirms that she’s going. A couple of days before she comes to Maryland, we were talking to each other. We played this game that we had made where if one of us were to curse then the other would ask them 3 questions. These questions were to be answered honestly. I asked her questions about who she liked. She had knew that I knew that she liked me. I wanted her to admit it to me. She also asked me questions about who I liked. I, of course, described her. Now, I believe that she suspected that I liked her but she didn’t want to believe it. Later, she tells me that she has to leave. I decide to confess my feelings for her. I tell her that the girl I like would be coming to Maryland the next week, that we were going to see each other. She freaked out and I started laughing. She hung up the call and I just sat there in my chair, very happy. She arrives at night on Christmas. She’s in Maryland for 3 days pretty much (the 26th, the 27th, and the 28th), we hung out together on all 3 days. The first day was pretty awkward, not gonna lie. It makes sense though because this was out first time meeting each other. We met up at the National Gallery of Art and spent the majority of the day there. We didn’t really talk much at first but we later got more comfortable with each other and talked. After spending a day at the N.G.A., we ate dinner at this Chinese restaurant. It was fun, she tried teaching me how to use chopsticks but I wasn’t able to use them. Second day, I went over to her aunt’s house. It was a bit awkward for the first like 10 minutes but then everything was fine. We went ice skating but, here’s the thing, I don’t know how to ice skate. Her sister and her would hold my hand to try and help me keep my balance. After that, we returned to her aunt’s house where we played poker. Neither of us knew how to play so we had to learn. We played in teams. It was me and her, her sister and her mom, and her aunt and her aunt’s boyfriend. We turned out to be a pretty good team, we won a couple of times. On the third day, we went to ICE! at National Harbor. After spending a couple hours there, I suggested that we go eat at Rio. We arrived at Rio and for some reason her mom and wanted to go to Barnes and Noble. She didn’t want to go so I suggested that her and I walk for a bit. She happily and agreed and that’s what we did. I saw this as my chance, my chance to ask her out. I waited a bit and then I did it. She stopped walking and looked at me and said, “Are you serious?” to which I replied “Yes” and she said yes as well. It was fantastic except for the fact that my girlfriend would have to leave in about an hour to return to New York. We talked a lot over the next couple months, became closer to each other. One day in February, I got extremely lucky. I heard her dad tell her that they would be going to California for spring break. I told her that I’d be visiting New York for spring break. She told her dad this and her stepmom suggested that I go with them to Cali. We couldn’t believe this and we thought that she was joking. Nope, it was not a joke. I asked my parents and they allowed me to go. I arrived at New York on the 24th of March and left a week earlier. The first two days we were in New York. It was fun, we spent time together. On Monday, we left early in the morning to go to Cali. Now, to be honest, I don’t remember everything as it exactly happened, I tried forgetting these memories because it was just too painful to look back at. But here are the highlights of that week:

>lots of cuddling

>we kissed

>we went to some pretty cool places

So after the trip, we talked a lot for a couple of days. She slowly started to talk to me less, she said that she was busy with school work. It got to the point where if I was lucky we’d talk on the weekend (lemme elaborate here real quick, if I recall correctly, she was never busy on those weekends, we’d talk if she wanted to talk, not if she was busy or not). One day I accidentally pissed her off and that’s when it pretty much ended. I asked her if we were still together and she told me to give her a week to think about it. I acted super desperately, like super desperately. I thought that my acts of desperation would help me but it did the opposite. Honestly, if I was in her position I would not have given myself a second chance. I was too flawed and I had to learn from my mistakes. Now though, almost 4 months later, I feel like I am worthy of another chance. I feel that it is my time to try once again. I have reflected on my previous self and I have improved. I. Am. Ready.

to be continued...

[cheonjaem-blog]

boyfriend! park woojin

how the shy, nerdy loser, park woojin would confess

school! au

park woojin is such a nerd lmao

everyone knows that he’s hella smart, got straight a’s, 5.0 gpa

if you’re tryna pass a class, you best be sitting next to him

but nobody actually knows him personally

he doesn’t really talk much to other students but has a semi-friend lee daehwi

you had woojin in science class

and tbh you didn’t know shit

you started off the class with an f after you failed your first quiz

and things just never got better gg

but you started realizing that the semester was ending, and you were about to take a fat ass L

your teacher called you in after class, and told you straight up that you were about to fail his class, and you needed to get your shit together

“hmmm if you’re really struggling with this material, i suggest asking park woojin to help you”

and you just want to kys because you’re not tryna fail and retake this class

but woojin kind of scared you lol

he’s so perfect and smart and low key intimidating even if you’ve known him since middle school

you’ve never really held an actual conversation with him after all those years of being in the same class

so you walk home thinking of different ways to end your life cheat on the final actually understand the material

you drop into the nearest convenience store by your house to pick up some food to motivate you to study, and you accidentally run into woojin

he mutters a quick “sorry” before walking out, but you turn around and grab his sleeve 

“wait can you pretty please tutor me in science?”

and you just give him an embarrassed laugh

surprisingly he says yes!!

he’s really shy and super confused bc he’s known you for so long but he never thought that you actually knew he existed??

and he was also super flustered at seeing you since he thought you were really cute and may or may not have crushed on you for 4 years,,

so you exchange kkt’s and meet up at the library after school everyday 

sometimes you buy him drinks and sometimes he’ll buy you chips

“woah how’d you know honey butter chips are my favorite??”

obviously bc he’s been low key stalking you 

anyways.. he reteaches you all the key concepts that you should know for the final 

and you swear the teacher has never gone over this in class but maybe you were asleep

you guys hit it off so well??

and you find out that woojin is really talkative when he’s talking about something he’s passionate about like dancing

you didn’t know this nerd danced wth??

and you feel really bad after a while bc he’s wasting his time to help you study when he could study by himself

basically you just felt like a burden ;;

so you bake him cookies as a thank you and he gets super blushy and awkward when you give them to him the next day

his blushing face is so funny that you can’t resist dropping a couple flirty teasing remarks 

“aw you’re so cute woojin”

but woojin has been really enjoying spending all this time with you

he secretly likes it when you make your stupid puns

and sometimes when he’s teaching you something, he’ll drift off into space and you’ll catch him just staring at you

he’s mesmerized by you okay

as for you, you start to become comfortable with woojin

and he seems less scary, and you realize he’s just a shy bean

you notice how he’s really focused on everything he does, and you admire his perseverance 

you start getting used to his presence, and it took him weeks but eventually he even starts to talk you outside of class and study sessions

like sometimes he’ll bring you lunch, and you guys will sit together in the cafeteria talking about anime or something equally nerdy

woojin has obviously never had any relationship experience and he has no other friends to confide his feelings to,,, 

he’s already suppressed these feelings for the past 4 years, but now that you guys are actually friends, he doesn’t want to ruin your friendship ;;

woojin is so scared to confess bc he’s such a loser, and you’re well-loved by everyone at school

he’s way too shy and afraid you’re going to reject him immediately bc you think he’s an embarrassment to you

so one day park jihoon, your english partner, asks you to rehearse with him after school for your guys’ english project which is to recreate a scene of romeo and juliet in class

you guys wrote the script in class (a class you don’t have with woojin obvs) so of course you agree

jihoon takes you to an empty classroom and you guys start rehearsing

“o, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do. they pray; grant thou, lest faith turn to despair”

“saints do not move, though grant for prayers’ sake”

“then move not, while my prayer’s effect i take”

and then jihoon leans in to fake kiss you bc he’s a flirty asshole and it’s part of the scene but why

you laugh and jokingly hit him “why are you like this wth”

at this time woojin is looking for you bc usually you meet up by your lockers, and you’re always there first waiting for him

and of course he chooses this moment, when it looks like jihoon is going to kiss you, to walk by

and his heart actually shatters

woojin is just staring with wide eyes at you two and quickly walks off bc he feels tears coming

he never knew you and park jihoon were a thing, and now he feels stupid for ever thinking he had a chance with you

he walks out of school and hears his phone ring and of course it’s you

he doesn’t really feel like talking to you rn but he’s too kind not to pick up

woojin sucks it up and continues with your study sesh but with less smiles and jokes and most of the time you think he’s grimacing

while he’s reviewing the law of gravitation with you, your phone goes off and of course it’s a text from jihoon bc you’re really unlucky rip

woojin pauses and stares at your phone which says:

from bby boy jihoon ♡ (jihoon created that name okay) : are you my homework? bc i want to slam you on my table and do you all night long ;)

“blocked and reported” 

you notice woojin glaring at your phone and when your eyes meet, you’re scared by how scary and angry he looks

he grabs you by your arm and drags you out into the hallway

woojin is overcome by a jealous rage and he ends up pushing you against the wall and slamming his hands next to your head

and you’re just like wtf what’s going on? am i in a cheesy anime or something???

adrenaline is rushing in woojin, and he literally has no control over his actions atm

“you’re not jihoon’s. you’re mine”

you’re like whoa where’d this confidence come from?? what a busan way to confess wow

and wow woojin looks so fucking hot being all alpha like this holy

his confidence is so sexy shit and you don’t even say anything and just kiss him bc damn he’s hot 

whenever you mention this confession to him, he gets all embarrassed bc he had an actual confession planned out with roses and milk tea and everything but oh well

so boyfriend woojin is v v v cute,,,

he’s so innocent wow 

brings you flowers on every anniversary

“happy 7th month anniversary”

“wtf woojin nobody celebrates that but thx”

really really shy

at first he doesn’t initiate pda at all,, gets flustered when you hold his hand in public

eventually gets comfortable with you and becomes clingy af

study dates!!

tries to bribe you with food and cuddles when you finish homework

“i’ll buy you boba if you finish your math homework early”

your grades start rising hella wow

started from the bottom now we here c->a

woojin is a proud boyfriend when you pass your science final with flying colors and pass the class

dances for you and wow he’s so hot when he’s dancing damn

reversal charm to the max

his snaggletooth is the cutest thing you’ve ever laid eyes on holy

he wanted to get it fixed at first since he was kind of insecure about it but you were like “uh how about a no”

you loved his tooth and he ended up loving it bc you did :)))

you have an album of woojin’s childhood pics on your phone, and he begs you to delete them but you can’t resist teasing him bc it’s so funny lmao

he tells you about his crush on you in middle school really shyly one day and you just laugh bc middle school you was a cringey part of your history and if he liked you at that awful point of your life,, he’s a keeper ;;

an angel!!

knows how to cheer you up with girl group dances hahahah

dances to twice, ioi, gfriend, every girl group to make you laugh

will destroy every last shred of his dignity to see you smile :’)

a wanna be athlete

tries to play basketball with you but prob doesn’t know the rules gg

gets jealous when you drool over male idols

“i dance better than him right???”

needs constant attention like a lost puppy

it’s okay bc he’s cute

v clumsy

tried baking cupcakes for you one day but almost burned up the kitchen hahahahah see what i did there

trips over the air sometimes

vj park in training 

tries to film you dancing to the choreos he’s taught you

ends up zooming in on your face 90% of the time and having really shaky camerawork 

really really caring boyfriend and will love you unconditionally ♡ 

[diary-of-a-trichotillomania-blog]

First post ever. No pressure at all.

So, I created this blog to not only start tracking my own journey with trichotillomania, but to learn more about other people that deal with the same struggles that I do. I’ve suffered from this disorder going on 13 years now. I started pulling from my scalp when I was in elementary school. I still remember where it started, right above my left ear. I don’t really remember ever realizing or understanding what I was doing to myself, as I was so young and I guess I just didn’t feel the need to question it. As the school year progressed, so did my thinning hair. I remember my mom taking me to the children’s hospital downtown because she started getting worried. I never told the doctors that I was pulling out my own hair. I was ashamed, and it didn’t make sense. I remember the doctor that saw me. She was a black lady, with short hair, probably mid 40′s. She was kind. She asked me a lot of questions, of course with my mom sitting right there. I think I told her that sometimes my scalp burned and that it felt very tender all the time. She diagnosed me with alopecia, and prescribed me steroids that my mom would go on to rub on my head every night before bed. It didn’t help. By the end of the school year, I had little to no hair on the sides and top of my head. My dad started buying me wigs. Looking back, I know that they could foresee some of the obstacles that were soon to come that I was oblivious to at that time. Of course, by the next school year, the bullying started. I was a smart kid, I got straight A’ s and perfect attendance until the curse of trichotillomania started taking it’s toll. The bullying really affected me. So much that I’ve blacked out most of the rest of my elementary school days. I remember in the 3rd grade, my state made it a requirement for all grade school students to take a placement test. My scores came back in the top 10% of the state. My parents were so proud of me. They were contacted by another school that wanted me to join their program for kids that were “gifted and talented”, my dad enrolled me and I started my 4th grade year at a new school. I was excited. Little did I know this place would turn out to be the beginning of the nightmare that is my life. Throughout the year, I struggled with keeping up with my grades. I slept very little at home. I started acting out. Mean while, my mom was having serious back surgeries and shortly after her father passed away. This really took a toll on my mom and she started falling into depression. She’ll never admit it, but she was abusing pain killers, as well. She slept all the time and she stopped cooking dinner. We didn’t really speak to each other much, and if we did it was an argument. I hated her boyfriend that lived with us, and I know he hated me, too. He made it very evident. So just imagine this 4th grade girl, who’s going through puberty alone. I had started my period before all of my friends and dealing with all these new emotions that I’d never felt before on top of silently battling my trichotillomania and bullying at school. I had no outlet. I remember sitting up all night just writing and writing and writing for hours on end. The most traumatizing event from this period of my life was the day that my school had a fire drill. The entire staff and student body was lined up outside of the school in the parking lot. This boy, his name was Richard, had been a real problem for me the entire school year thus far. I remember he just ran up to me and pulled off my wig in front of everyone. I went into shock and was immediately mortified. I grabbed my wig and ran back into the school screaming and balling my eyes out. A female teacher followed me and took me to the office and tried to console me. The school called my dad and he rushed to the school. The principle invited him into his office to speak with him in private, but I could still hear them talking. All I can remember is hearing my dad say, “Her mother and I kind of figured this was bound to happen eventually.” That was my last day at that school.  4th grade was the year I started self harming. At first I was able to hide it from my parents, but not for long. They immediately sent me to counseling and they wasted no time filling my body up with drugs. I was on several different anti-depressants and other bullshit for the rest of my elementary school days. I think I was on 5 different medications over a course of 3 years. Once I reached 7th grade, I stopped taking my meds. I refused them. I was tired of the panic attacks, and the side effects. I would lose a ton of weight, then they’d switch my meds and I’d gain it all back x2. By this time my dad had taken full custody of me an there was a long period of time that my mother and I didn’t even speak to one another. I felt like she chose her boyfriend over me. Well, she did. Anyway, 7th grade sucked ass, I started becoming very angry at the world. I was getting into fights every other week and I would get into it with my teachers often. During second semester after numerous suspensions, the school finally decided to expel me. I was sent to an alternative school. Where they sent all the “bad” kids. It was a very small school. On the left side of the school is where the middle school students were taught, the right side taught the high school students, but all the students rode the bus together. This is where I met my first real boyfriend. He was in the 11th grade and we rode the bus together every morning, His name was Kodie. This is when the peer pressure started taking place, and my poor decisions began. I started skipping school to hang out with Kodie. I thought it was cool that I was dating an older boy. I loved that someone older was attracted to me and because my self esteem was so low from the years of bullying I finally felt accepted by someone. I ate it up. I would do anything he told me to do because I didn’t want to feel alone anymore. My dad was furious but I convinced him to let me go over to his house sometimes. Kodie lived with his mom in some apartments nearby to my house. We dated into the summer. I remember my dad took me over there to go swimming one day with Kodie and his family. After we swam for a couple hours his mom left for a while to go somewhere with her friends. Kodie asked me if I wanted to go back to the apartment and watch a movie because we were both getting tired from being in the sun. He told me we’d be the only ones there and I was very nervous and excited. I’d never been alone with a boy before, I agreed to go with him. This was the day I lost my virginity. He was gentle and to be honest I enjoyed it after the initial shock wore off. Afterwards I cried right there on his bed and he held me and kissed my forehead, he said if I felt uncomfortable I could call my dad. I stayed for a little while longer before he came and picked me up. I didn’t tell him. Kodie and I continued dating for 3 years. Eventually the relationship started getting rocky. I was still young, but Kodie was older and he ended up moving out and getting his own place. This is where my dad started putting his foot down and drawing the line. But I wasn’t trying to hear none of it. I remember he got our anniversary date tattooed on his leg but we ended up breaking up shortly after when my dad started threatening to get police involved if we continued our relationship. Honestly, I was devastated but like people do, they move on. By this time I was about to start sophomore year. I really nervous as my track record with school had never been too great. By surprise, I actually made it through 10th grade fairly easily. I had real friends. You know? The kind that actually hung out with me and came over and spent the night at my house on weekends. I was involved at school, I started writing for the school newspaper and doing photography. I loved it. Then summer break came. To be continued...

[kayciej-4]

130 Questions About Myself:

A – Accidents 01. Have you ever been in a car accident?- No 02. Do you have a lot of scars?- Yes 03. Have you ever been in a fist fight with someone?- No 04. Have you ever seriously hurt anyone by mistake?- No 05. Have you ever had stitches? Where?- Yes; under my chin B – Beauty 06. Do you consider yourself beautiful?- I suppose 07. Are you self conscious of how you look?- Sometimes 08. Do you put on a lot of makeup?- Not really (only for the club lol) 09. Would you ever consider getting plastic surgery?- Nope 10. What do you think makes a person beautiful?- If you're ugly on the inside, it doesn't matter what you look like. Personality is key. C – Consequences 11. What was the longest amount of time you’ve been grounded for?- Most of High School lol 12. What would you do if you got pregnant, keep it or have an abortion?- At this point in my life, keep it 13. Do you ever think about how your actions affect other people?- Most of the time yes 14. What do you think is the worst punishment someone could give you?- Being disappointed in me 15. What is one thing you wish you didn’t do, just because it wasn’t worth it in the end?- Almost giving up on life and in school D – Dealing 16. When you are mad at someone, how do you show them?- I straight up tell them 17. Name a time when you had to be strong.- Almost all the time 18. Have you ever dealt with a divorce or parents fighting? Any kind of abuse at home?- My parents were never married so I've been back and forth between them my whole life. My mom and stepdad used to fight basically every day. 19. When people at school don’t accept you, or have problems with you, how do you react?- I don't care what people think of me. 20. Have you ever lost someone to death? Explain how you got through it: Yes; it was very hard but I fought through and I went to a councilor a few times to help with the grieving. E – Experience 21. Have you ever had a job? Any volunteer jobs?- I've had 3 jobs in my life 22. Do you think that you are sexually experienced, or not at all?- Yes 23. Have you gone through a lot emotionally, or has life been easy thus far?- I've gone through way to much and I'm still so young 24. Do you think you are ready to be on your own (have your own home, job, etc.)?- I'm not ready quite yet, but I'm definitely looking forward to it 25. How old do you act?- Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional. F – Family 26. Is there anyone in your family you don’t talk to? Why?- I don't talk to my moms side of the family cuz they're crazy and trashy, and my dads side live in other states so it's hard to keep in touch. I have my immediate family and close friends. 27. If you had to choose, family or friends?- Friends 28. Can you tell your parents or one of your parents anything?- Usually I tell my mom everything 29. Do you have any siblings? If so, do you ever get jealous of them?- I have 2 and no I don't. They're both 10/11 years younger than me 30. How often do you spend ‘quality time’ with family members?- Not too often due to working G – Growing 31. How tall are you? How tall do you wish you were?- 5'3"; and I'm content with my height 32. Do you think that you have grown more in the past year than any year before that?- I haven't grown since the 7th grade lol 33. As a person, do you think you are mature for your age or still act childish?- I am mature for my age, but I know when to have fun 34. Are you scared to think that one day you will turn 30, then 40, then 50?- Not scared, it's just weird to think about 35. Do you believe you still have a lot to learn?- Oh definitely H – Hope 36. Love – real or not?- Yes 37. Are you a pessimist of an optimist?- Optimist 38. Do you believe in fate, that everything happens for a reason, or do you think that our actions lead the way?- Actions 39. Do you think that after we die our spirit is still alive?- Yes 40. What gives you hope when you just feel like dying?- My best friend and my boyfriend I – Issues 41. Do you suffer from depression or constant sadness/loneliness?- Depression, anxiety, PTSD, panic attacks, probably ADD. 42. Do you have any type of disease or disability?- No 43. Are you currently in a hard relationship or have bad luck with the opposite sex?- In a relationship 44. Do you think that you are alone in this world?- No 45. How often do you think about death, suicide or running away?- I used to a lot back in school but I haven't since I graduated J – Jokes 46. Say a word or phrase that would not be funny to anyone but you & one of your friends (an inside joke): PUDDING 47. Are you usually the one who makes people laugh,Or the other way around?- I can be funny sometimes lol 48. Do you cry when you laugh hard?- Yes 49. Write down a hilarious moment you had with someone that makes you laugh to this day: My friend stayed the night and she raised her hand in dead ass sleep and said "teacher, I need an apple!" I told her the next morning and we couldn't stop laughing. 50. Do you ever get in trouble for laughing or talking a lot during class?- I did lol K – Knowledge 51. The purpose of school: to learn, to cause trouble or to hang out with friends?- To learn but I didn't learn shit 52. Do people refer to you as smart, dumb, or average?- Average 53. What was the highest grade you have received (full course mark) ever?- An A I guess 54. What was your last average? This year would you like to maintain it or aim higher?- I graduated with a 2.5 GPA 55. What do you find the most interesting subject to be (to study or to talk about)?- I loved my electives. Chorus and other arts classes. Oh and I took Psychology. L – Love 56. Are you currently in love? If not, have you been before?- Yes ❤️ 57. Do people around you show you a lot of love (tell you they love you, hug you, kiss you, etc.)?- Yes 58. Is love worth it?- Yes 59. Do you hate it when girls in their young teenage years say they ‘love’ someone that they’ve been dating for a few months?- Yes 60. Does it take a lot for you to say you love someone, or is it just a word?- It takes a lot M – Money 61. Do you believe that money makes the world go round?- Basically 62. Is your family on the poor side, average, or above average when it comes to money?- Average 63. Are you saving up for college/university, or planning to?- No 64. Would you rather win millions of dollars & be set for life, or find the perfect person to marry & start a family with?- 2nd one 65. On a scale of 1-10, how important is money to you?- 10 cuz it keeps me going N – Naughty 66. Are you a virgin?- No 67. What do you think about doing sexual things with someone you’re not going out with?- I don't 68. Do you know anybody you consider a ’slut’? What makes you say that?- Yes; they just constantly screw around with other people and not care about themselves or the other person 69. If you could, would you erase some things you did in the past or make it so you did more?- I could erase some stuff 70. Do you consider yourself more nice or more naughty? (You can’t say both)- Both O – Openness 71. How long does it take for you to open up to someone?- Usually a while (unless I'm high or I really feel that trusting vibe) 72. What does it take for you to fully trust someone?- Haven't thought about that really 73. Are you generally untrusting towards people because of past experiences, or any other reason?- Yes, especially if I get a bad vibe 74. When are you comfortable with someone sexually?- Takes a lonnnggggg time 75. When it comes to parents and close friends, what’s the limit of what you can tell them?- I tell my besties and boyfriend everything. Parents, not so much. P – Positive 76. Have you ever had an experience with someone that didn’t necessarily end positively? If so, would you rather erase the memory of that person because of the sad times or keep the memory of that person because of the good times?- Yes and I want those memories and that person to be gone. 77. Do you agree with the saying: better to have loved and lost than not have loved at all?- Kinda 78. Are you more optimistic or pessimistic? What do you try to be?- Optimistic! 79. Do you agree that something good can come out of everything?- Yes 80. Have you ever had a time where something really bad happened, but something really good happened because of it? If so, please exlain what it was: If she would've never broken my heart, I would've never found the amazing guy I'm in love with today ❤️ Q – Questions 81. When faced with a problem, do you ask for help or try to figure it out yourself?- I try to figure it out first, then ask 82. Do you often question the world and how we came about? What are some things you would like to know about creation?- I do sometimes if I'm zoned out or trying to fall asleep 83. Do you think the government is truthful? If you could ask the president one question, what would it be?- Fuck the government.; To Trump "What the fuck is wrong in your fucked up head?" 84. When someone does something wrong to you, do you confront them and ask them why they did it or just let it go?- Both; depends on the situation 85. What is one unsolved mystery about the world that you want answers to?- Why does the US government suck? R – Respect 86. How do you show respect?- Respect is show when given. Depends on the situation 87. What can someone do for you to lose all respect for them?- ^ 88. Do you respect your teachers, parents, and other authority figures?- Yes 89. When you are disrespectful to your parents, what is the punishment?- I get yelled at 90. If someone is mean to you, are you mean back or do you kill them with kindness?- Depends on the situation S – School 91. If you are still in school, what grade will you be going into?- GRADUATED IN 2016 92. When will you graduate high school/college?- ^ and no college 93. After high school, what did you do/are you planning to do?- I'm working and saving money to move out and I want my own photography/dance studio 94. Do you like or hate school? What do you like/hate about it?- I hated school 95. Have you ever been suspended, expelled, or dropped out of school?- Nope T – Temptation 96. Have you ever done something wrong, knowing it was wrong, because something inside of you said it was okay?- Yes and no 97. Has anyone ever pressured you to smoke or drink? Did you do it?- No one pressured me but I've done both 98. Did you ever cheat on someone? Why did you do it? Hell no 99. Did you ever want to do something sexual with someone you didn’t really know or love What did you end up doing?- Yes but I didn't do anything about it 100. Do you give in to temptation easily, or are you more independent and strong willed?- I'm independent U – Unique 102. Do you do a lot of things because your friends are doing it?- No 103. Do you follow trends, wear whatever you want, or wear really unique pieces?- I do/wear/say whatever I want 104. Do you give in easily to peer pressure? Do you do things such as smoke, drink, or have casual sex?- No; I smoke and drink 105. What makes you different from people your age?- Nothing V – Value 106. What’s the most expensive thing in your room?- My phone lol 107. What’s more valuable: your life or the lives of your loved ones? Would you sacrifice your life for other people?- The people I love; Yes 108. What is something you value not because it cost a lot, but because it means a lot to you?- The promise ring my boyfriend gave me 109. If there was a fire in your house/apartment, what is the first thing you would grab?- Kids and pets (if I have any) 110. Do you think past memories and experiences are more valuable than what could possibly happen in the future?- No W – Wishes 111. If you had three wishes, what would they be?- I wish I got paid more, I wish I had a better camera, I wish I was a better dancer 112. Would you rather wish yourself to be happy, or your loved ones?- Loved ones 113. Do you believe that wishes come true if you really believe in them?- Yes, but you gotta work for it 114. Have you ever had a wish come true? If so, what was that wish?- Yes, I got a Jeep 115. Do you find wishing for things a waste of time because everything that’s meant to happen, will happen?- Yes Y – You 121. Are you more independent or social?- Both 122. What is something that makes you very mad when you see it?- People hating and shitting on things that aren't actually affecting them 123. Do you think that you have potential to do great things?- Yes 124. Do you think people are born a certain way, or develop their personalities based on what they go through in life?- 2nd one 125. Do you think people are generally good?- Yes Z – Zest 126. Are you currently happy with your life? Why or why not?- Yes and no; I have amazing friends and family and boyfriend and job, but I wish I had more money to help me reach my goals 127. Do you go on FacebookCraze.com to get facebook survey’s and quizzes like this one?- No 128. When change occurs, do you get scared or are you excited for it?- It doesn't scare me but sometimes I get nervous and excited 129. Do you like to try new things, meet new people?- Yes 130. What is the most motivational thing in the world?- Knowing that I have so much support from everyone I love.