#most of these are from a year ago lol i was recently reminded they exist | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

genjishimemeda · 6 months

Text

been going through my WIPs and i'm gonna post a couple old old old ones that i really need to finish. this one was meant as a gift for someone but i think they went on to block me (lol)? idk. it was like almost ten years ago.

it's cloudgeal with the theme of gardening

Of all the areas in the Shinra building, Cloud likes the courtyard most.

Few even realize it's there, attached to the cafeteria like some awkward, bulbous tumor that everyone passes by, probably curious about, but doesn't bother to explore. It's weird and it's honestly rather ugly, obvious sod laid down over a metal floor with weak, meager sunlight filtered through glass, supported by flickering sun lamps, its only sources of light. The grass itself on the sod is just a pitiful excuse for grass, yellow and brown for the most part. They said nothing grows in Midgar, and it's probably true.

Except, and Cloud notices this, there's one corner of the courtyard where the lamp doesn't flicker, the grass is a little less brown-and-yellow, and there's obvious signs of work.

He's drawn to the courtyard in the first place because, being a mountain-dweller, nature's in his blood. He didn't have to (and didn't want to) ask about its existence; it just sort of happened that he took the wrong door out of the cafeteria when he wasn't paying attention and wound up looking at a small patch of greenery wondering how he got there. For a brief moment, it had reminded him of when the snow finally melted and the grass hadn't yet grown back after a winter in Nibelheim; returning there, he smiles as he notices the grass is just a little bit greener than before.

And over in the corner, there's a little row of pots.

As he nears, he counts maybe six of them, sitting in neatly arranged rows. The soil's still moist and the lamps are fixed on them, but not directly. He makes a noise of curiosity, kneeling down and examining them. Nothing on them says who put them there, or even what species of seed was planted in them. Just nondescript clay pots, sitting and waiting.

A little confused, he leaves for the day.

Some time a few weeks later, he pops back in just to have his lunch in relative quiet, and the pots are still there. It's a little warmer, and he notices the thermostat is set to almost 27°—going to sit by the pots, he notices one has a tiny shoot sticking up from the center. It's not quite like the green, fleshy stem of a flower, but like a thin, bladed leaf. The soil is damp again, as if they've been recently tended to, and the watering can is, in fact, still there.

Cloud picks it up and examines it. Again, like the pots, it's nondescript to the point of blandness. He places it back down, gently, and just looks at the tiny shoot with masked wonder.

By the next time he has a chance to return, early one morning before breakfast is even ready, all the pots are bearing several little shoots, but this time, the soil is dry. He realizes the time of day and, glancing at the schedule that seemed to have mystically appeared on the wall, the plants have yet to be watered. Curious, he looks to the can, and gingerly lifts it to see if there's any water in it.

Barely…

Shrugging to himself, he goes to the spigot on the wall and starts filling it. The water is cloudy, obviously not filtered tap. He's not sure if it's the best choice, but it's all there is—maybe the plants need the extra minerals? Hoping he's not destroying anything, he sprinkles water over all of them, kneeling before them and ensuring they've each had an equal amount.

To himself, or maybe to the plants, he mutters, "That should be okay…"

He sits there a while longer, checking each one over. The original one has a few more leaves, and they're a nice, vibrant shade of green. Not too dark, not too pale. He can't be sure, but he thinks they're bromeliads. He'd only seen a few in his lifetime, as they were more well-suited to warmer climates than Nibelheim (and possibly even Midgar), but he knew what they looked like in a vague sense.

He looks at the schedule again and notices "drain the cups" written in small writing beneath the watering notes. When he glances at the pots again, he notices the bottoms slip out. Removing each one, he pours the excess water onto the grass… probably how it got so green in the first place. He continues to pour out the water as it drips down, and eventually they all stop leaking.

With caution, he picks up the permanent marker by the schedule and checks off the watering.

* * *

From then on, he checks up on the plants daily. When he gets there before their caretaker does, he completes the tasks himself. That is, up until one day he comes in and there's a note attached to the schedule.

I'd certainly like to know who's been tending to the plants, the note says. Succinct and clearly written, though the handwriting is quite obviously masculine.

Cloud pops open the marker and scrawls his name and rank onto the paper.

They exchange words in notes over the next few weeks, and the plants have become handsome bunches of leaves. Cloud is gently stroking the leaves as he waters them this morning, reading over the last note written.

It's not the first time I've planted bromeliads here, but they always die before they flower. I'd like to have this batch actually bloom this year.

When Cloud leaves, he decides to do a bit of research.

As far as he reads, bromeliads are mostly tropical, though can survive a drought if needed. Some need lots of sunlight, some shrivel up under too much. They're not supposed to soak, thus the draining, and their flowers come naturally. Cloud wonders if they're perhaps exercising a little too much care, rather than too little.

We should meet, he writes on his next note, the book from the library tucked under his arm. What's your schedule?

Unfortunately, the next note leaves him disappointed. My schedule is so spontaneous I couldn't give you a set time.

* * *

Cloud's next eating lunch with some of his squadmates, barely listening as he's thinking about the note and eyes fixed on the courtyard door. He's hoping he'll see someone go in and figure out who tends to the plants, who's been writing back and forth with him… and who shares his love of nature in this gods-forsaken city.

"Y'know that Second, uh… Zack's his name, yeah?" one of the guys says.

"Mm?"

"Heard him in the hall earlier whinin' that the guy who trains him showed up late or somethin'."

"And we care, why?"

"He bitches like a damn dog in heat, man. It was grating as hell."

Cloud just tunes out the conversation and wanders over to the courtyard door. It's not like he cares what they had to say about some SOLDIER he doesn't even know. He goes for the door, though freezes when he notices someone's in there.

Surreptitiously, he glances through the fog of the door and barely makes out a large black shape amongst the silver walls and greenery. Backing away, he tries to find a place to look inconspicuous, and waits. This is the moment he's been waiting for, swapping those notes like they were little kids or something. He tries not to stare at the door, and waits.

He hardly notices when a SOLDIER Second with hair rivaling his own comes marching through the cafeteria and opens the door.

"Angeal, what the heck?" the Second half-whines. "We were supposed to train like twenty minutes ago."

"I'm sorry, Zack," came the voice from inside, and Cloud cranes his neck a little. "I had… business to attend to."

"More important than me?"

A deep chuckle. "Just a little."

The black-haired young man just sighed. "I'll see ya in the VR room, then." He then muttered something under his breath about 'Genesis' and 'bugs.' Cloud doesn't know what to make of that, but he has a name!

Angeal… Where does he know that name? As he's mulling it over, he misses the man pass entirely, only shaking out of it when he doesn't hear any shuffling anymore.

Armed with half of the identity of the man he was looking for, he scampers off to see if he can actually nail down just where he heard that name.

* * *

A SOLDIER.

Not only that, a SOLDIER First.

Angeal Hewley.

Cloud's mouth goes dry as he reads the SOLDIER roster again, and doesn't find another instance of the name. He can't believe he's been corresponding with one of the triumvirate of SOLDIER Firsts (and subtly thanks the gods it isn't Sephiroth, he'd die of a heart attack even at such a tender young age). He'd never be able to approach him, even if they planned the meeting, and dear gods he was alone and he was shaking like a leaf.

When he returns to his room, he looks to the library book sitting on his bunk looking, for all a book could be, so forlorn. He flops down on the bed and opens it up, looking at the card inside and reading through the names.

Sure enough, multiple times, Angeal's name. Going back several years, at that.

He closes it slowly, then rolls over and looks at the bunk above his. He kicks his one leg, not fully on the bed, and tries to think.

After several hours of tossing, turning, trying to nap, and grinding his palms onto his eyes, he makes his decision.

He may be shy, but gods-dammit, Cloud knows he's not a pussy.

#cloudgeal #cloud strife #angeal hewley #fanfic #final fantasy vii #i'll definitely finish it at some point but hey #why not contribute to a rarepair

2 notes · View notes

gordvendomewhore · 2 years

Note

For the ask game <3

A - Ships that you currently like a lot. (They don’t have to be OTPs because not everyone has OTPs.) Friendships, pairings, threesomes, etc. are allowed.

C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will.

H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., TV shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)?

J - Name a fandom you didn’t think about until you saw it all over Tumblr. (You don’t have to care about it or follow it; it just has to be something that Tumblr made you aware of.)

heyyy thank you for the ask teehee 🤭🤭 ik i literally reblogged this from your account LMAO so thank you, this was very considerate

i'm going to be answering most of these in regards to bully :)

these responses are gonna be a bit long so strap your boots on cowboys

A - ships i currently like

i am alwayssss thinking about bif/derby (berby 🥺) because they are my BOYS!! however, lately i was talking to my s/o about a post i made about unlikely prep ships (that apparently doesn't fucking exist because i couldn't find it again and had a mental breakdown over it), it reminded me of my love for bryce/vance!!!

when the bully discord was still a thing, me and my friends talked about unlikely ships and how u can basically ship... any two characters together. i don't remember how exactly we landed on bryce/vance, but it made sense to me and really settled into my heart lol. idk how to justify it other than wow! it just works. but if someone wants to know more, pls do feel free to send me an ask

other than that, i've really been into bryce/chad recently... they wrestle at night :)))

C - a ship i will never like

bro don't burn me at the stake for this, but there is one ship i just do not get behind, and anyone who knows me will know it but...

smopkins.

when i first played bully, which was two years ago, it was me revisiting it YEARS after i first discovered it as a young kid, and so i actually knew what shipping was lol. the first ship that came to mind for me was petey/gary, and while that is def popular in its own regard, it really surprised me to see how crazy people were for smopkins.

there's nothing wrong with the ship, i think a lot of art for it is cute (i have a good amount saved), and the fics certainly pack some emotion, but it just didn't click with me, and it never will lmao. and i think some people are too crazy about it, but that goes for ships in every fandom.

other than that, i don't really care for gord/vance. i did at some point, but i'm a jimmy/gord guy myself lol. it's still soooo so cute though.

H - favorite fandom source

well, obviously i like bully a whole lot LMAOO. there's a lot of freedom with the amount of side characters rockstar filled the game with, and they all have a surprising amount of personality put into them. there are endless situations to put all of them in with the small amount we've been given, and often this fandom just doesn't take advantage of it lol

other than bully though, i'm casually into borderlands and i used to have a haikyuu phase, so i check up on those two fandoms occasionally. i also LOVEEEEE the karate kid trilogy and watch the show that's out now (i have my gripes with it but whatever smh). i also like checking up on the rpg ib and one punch man every now and then. oooh and i can't forget detroit: become human.

J - fandom introduced to me through tumblr

uhhh none come to mind if i'm being honest haha. i don't really look at my feed unless i'm bored, so i'm only on tumblr to browse through tags for fandoms i know and post my own content.

i guess i didn't know the homestuck fandom was still active? LMAOOOO

thank you so much for these asks!!! i will make my way through the rest in my inbox <3

#thank you sooo so much #it's really great to get stuff in my inbox #not super bully focused but i'll still tag it #canis canem edit #bully scholarship edition #mine

8 notes · View notes

sternbagel · 2 years

Note

1 9 17 18 and 19

Oooh, good questions! Thanks, Autumn! 💜

1. When did you start writing?

Oh wow, when I was in middle school at least, I believe? That's when I started to work on my original fiction, which I do plan on completing... one day. So that was... 15 years ago? God damn I feel so old 😂

9. Have you ever brought an OC back from the dead?

Nope. Not... technically. There's the characters that were dusted in the MCU, and I included my main OC from that universe as one of the dusted, but I don't consider that dead dead, you know? I can't actually kill off my non-evil OCs, only the ones that exist as antagonists and are meant to die.

17. Tell us a fun fact about your current WIP.

I guess since the Sibling AU is my newest/most recently worked on (besides the first chapter of another story I've had in the works for 7 years lol), I'll share this: it literally just started as me being like, "Hey, I love sibling stuff. What if Sandy and Bucky were siblings? She'd absolutely be the one to physically torture him more than verbally." And it has absolutely spiraled from there, now becoming one of my favorite things I'm working on.

18. Show us a piece of dialogue you really like.

(This is long, but I actually love how I wrote Tony & Sandy's stuff in the College AU)

“Is that why you haven’t made a move on Lang—ow!”

“You say anything else bad about Scott, that sore shin will be the least of your troubles.”

“You’re surprisingly violent for someone so small.” Tony rubs his shin with a scowl. He can tell she’s serious. “If I didn’t know you, I’d say you like him.”

“I do, Tony. He’s more likable than you.” They’re both her friends, and they both know it. But something about Scott makes her very protective of him. Probably because he reminds her of The Onion’s infamous cinnamon roll article.

“Oooh,” Tony hisses playfully. “Scathing. We need to put you up for the Comeback of the Year Award.”

She snorts. Tony knows what she’s going to say, but she gets it out before he can interrupt. “What, you mean like Kim Kardashian in that one video?”

“I hate you.”

“Hey, you set yourself up for that.”

“But you didn’t have to say it.”

“Look at me. Yes I did.”

“Yeah, you’re right. Forgot. For a moment, I thought I was talking to someone with class.”

Sandy hisses, grinning, “Oooh, scathing.”

19. Show us the line you want readers to remember from your story.

(I mean, like, I don't write a lot of really heavy stuff with like, morals to the story, so I don't think I have any lines that are supposed to have a lasting impact. I'll just share a line that I like a lot actually, from Motley Crew.)

It’s stupid to think that they could both just pick up right where they’d left off ten years and several traumas ago, but she’d still thought it. And she’s got a sneaking suspicion that things are beyond repair. She’ll just go back to being dead to him. Worse things have happened to her, for sure, but that’d definitely be up there.

Catastrophic thinking. Gotta stop.

Blowing out a breath, she refocuses on their current predicament rather than her personal feelings. Curtis and Dr. Anderson would balk at her refusal to work through the feelings, but she’s got bigger fish to fry right now.

#i know exactly why you chose 17 and 18 lmao #writing asks #asks #@autumn #androidlapis

2 notes · View notes

hereforthevampires · 2 years

Text

Swan Princess Official: a journey TM

I signed up for a Swan Princess newsletter at some point years ago and haven't bothered to unsubscribe mostly because of the absolute chaos of it all

Often I don't even open the emails, but when I do it just sends me

then every once in a while I'll go and click through to the website to remind myself that, as impossible as it seems, it is extremely and whole heartedly unironic

this is the OFFICIAL Swan Princess website

At first you think the target audience of the site and the newsletter is kids, so maybe the font choices are excusable

But then you see some of the high end merch (they also sell art cels)

the absolute state of this

why are they in that order

Then i remember that they want to make a live action Swan Princess

then i watch the 2019 concept video and experience THIS all over again

I don't even know how i feel about this, i swing wildly from hate to love every minute I look at it (its worse when they move lol)

Everything about Swan Princess Official is absolutely insane and makes me feel both feral joy and intense dread

I can't believe a site that looks like this exists in 2022- but then i remember that they are still making Swan Princess direct to dvd 3D animated movies with ever weirder and weirder concepts and plots- there are like 7 of those monstrosities and the most recent one came out in 2020 (Here's a video about all the sequel movies)

the fact that the first movie was good at all feels like a fluke compared to everything else that has anything to do with this franchise

#swan princess #the swan princess #such a batshit franchise #someone made this and thought it was good enough to publish #someone get them a competent graphic designer #its an experience

5 notes · View notes

tekutiger · 2 months

Text

Curly Hair

This is gonna be a weird post, I don't usually talk about stuff like this.

Most my life I've struggled with my hair. Yep, that's right. I said my hair.

When I was young, it was thin and stupidly long- drove me insane but my fam wouldn't let me cut it.

Then when I finally did reach an age where I had a say-so with what to do with it, I had it cut shoulder-length because I just didn't want it past my waist anymore.

At this point I was in early middle school and it seemed to be wavy.

Throughout middle school and high school I went through so many hair trends, varying from every mid length hair style (like, bobs) to super short (pixie cut) hair style you can think of. Still not knowing what to do.

Eventually my hair grew out and with it- curls? I never had curls before.

Trying to figure out how to tame curls has been a life endeavor.

It's not surprising. I've heard from many that they hadn't learned how to deal with their curly hair until they were well into their 60's or 70's. I was really hoping I wouldn't fall under that and would figure it out soon. Or at least young... er.

But hair products are not cheap. Hair tools are not cheap. And after a while, I feel like "I'm content" with where I'm at, and that's ok.

So then, what's the point of this post?

I learned recently I've always had the basic gist of the things I needed, I've just been going about it the wrong way. So, about 50/50.

No one in my family has curly hair, except for myself. I've been diving in blind this whole time (sans my BFF whose been trying to help me find info online).

🔸 Diffuser - Not necessary, but man do they do wonders. I only recently got one (for the first time in my life, might I add). The amount of curls and volume these things add to your hair is insane. Can you get a similar effect throwing your hair up in a t-shirt? I think so?

You're basically lifting the weight off of your curls when you use this, which is what you're doing with the t-shirt. I have similar effects when I take a shower and then take a nap straight away with my hair laid out, lol 😅

🔸 Products - Some kind of leave-in conditioner and Gel/Mousse/Hairspray. Okay so this seems like a no brainer. I've been using a leave-in conditioner forever but I usually skip the second thing. There was never any need for the second thing with the leave-in I was using and not using a diffuser. Arguably, it all depends on your hair.

For me, adding in the diffuser meant having to add in the gel also. My hair gets too frizzy otherwise.

Luckily, by word of mouth and only recently, I found some amazing products that are well known by people who have curly hair (Bounce Curl).

When I tried them for the first time, I was in complete awe and disbelief. "This is my hair? MY hair?" 😮 and I get to do my hair like this all the time now? Wear my hair like this all the time now? omgosh.

Of course you don't need a fancy diffuser, you can get like a 20-30$ one (there's a bunch on amazon or your local store). The one I got is mid-line cause I'm going to be using it like crazy and I'm the type that's like ~well lets work out how many days I'm going to use this in a year, how much this thing costs, do the math...~ and I consider it a long term investment.

🔸 Other Creams & Leave-ins - You can layer creams and leave-ins, but don't get too heavy with them because they'll weigh down your hair and the last thing you want to do is weigh down your curls or leave your hair feeling/looking greasy.

The Bounce Curl one there advises to only use a pea sized amount because it's protein rich, and to saturate it with a lot of water. It's all on the website and there's a really good web article-review on their products found here by Gabriella.

🔸 Sleep Bonnet - Not necessary, but nice to have. I got one of these years ago to prevent my brightly colored hair from rubbing off onto my pillow cases (and dakimakura. Yeah I'm an anime geek). Over time I stopped using it and forgot about it, but recently was reminded they exist and should use it again. They are so nice.

Not only do they keep your hair from getting all tangled and frizzy throughout the middle of the night, amidst all of your tossing and turning, they keep your hair off your neck and in my particular case, let's me sleep a little cooler (I run warm/hot).

And the next day, your hair still looks about 90-95% as good as the day prior. Just gotta spiff it up a bit. Refresh.

My BFF also recommends this Youtuber for people looking for more info on curly hair. I've only watched one vid of hers so far. I really need to watch more: ManesByMell

She also has a list of recommended things for people with curly hair, including the Sleep Bonnet I just bought and now use (which is this one: https://a.co/d/cbfKozq). There are a plethora of options out there if that one doesn't seem to fit you.

I wanted to post all this up because it took me SO LONG to get to this point, over just hair. I hope it helps someone else out there.

And I'm not a fan of selfies but if anyone is curious how my hair turned out:

I still need to figure out exactly how much gel to use 😅

Edit: So something I learned that works for me is to use the amount of hair gel I think I may need, or even less. And if that's not the right amount, after I style it, get a bit more gel and dilute it with some water in the palms of my hand and gently brush over my hair where it's still frizzy.

Don't get excessive. A little goes a long way. But this does the trick.

#tekutiger #curly hair #bounce curl #teku.blog #curly hair advice #hair advice

0 notes

chronocidalrage · 1 year

Text

12/8/22 - 12/13/22

SELF ESTEEM My self esteem is garbage because it’s entirely based on other people’s opinions of me. Or at least what I perceive other people’s opinions to be. I have no true sense of self. I get what FEELS like a sense of self when others seem happy with me, but it’s false. That’s why I felt so good in my late twenties. Not because I actually found myself, but because I surrounded myself with people who reinforced what I wanted to believe.

I need to trust myself to analyze a situation and make the best of it.

I feel weird ever feeling good or happy. It feels wrong. How can I feel good if Atom isn’t involved? It doesn’t seem right.

Is my brain set for: Atom = good and therefore good = Atom? And then less and less things were good with or without him so I got all fucked up?

Then I think the single period of my life made me want to drink for various reasons. And drinking was something that was new and good with or without Atom. It was something good that was interchangeable. Now I’m trying to tell myself things are good again when the only thing that’s was ever reliably good was Atom and he’s dead and he wasn’t even fully good in recent years. So few things are “good” and I never know which way to go. It feels like lacking a compass because I don’t even know what good things look like anymore.

Atom, thank you for making me feel safe when I couldn’t do so for myself. I hope (for both or our sakes), I soon learn how to do that for myself. I hope I can make myself feel even half as safe as you were able to.

The pain I feel, the little sting that slowly grows until it envelopes me and I feel like I can’t move? The feeling I get at a grocery store that reminds me of being there with Atom? That pain is always gonna be there. The pain and the degree of the pain is a result of how sweet the memory is plus how far away from it you are. There’s no way around it. As long as the sweet moments are in your past, they will always hurt.

It’s weird though because the emotions are so vibrant and strong it seems impossible for you to be gone. Like how can I still feel this strongly about someone who hasn’t existed for over a year? Wild, but the feelings really still are that strong.

I have to move on because I’ll never feel that same “flavor” or safe and protected again. Never. It’s simply not possible. But I can feel other flavors of safe. I may even be able to make my own flavor that I can count on. It’s like Golden Bowl. I’ll never have my first favorite Chinese food again, but that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy other Chinese food or have other favorite meals or restaurants. EDIT: of course high Alex would explain this in terms of food lol.

How do I find my own joy and safety? Just learn how to do more things. Learn to rely on myself through practice.

How do I open myself to new joy? You just do. You just stop obsessing, stop tensing and open up.

SUSIE It’s crazy. Everything from the beginning of our relationship feels like 2-3 years ago at most. Wild how long we’ve actually been together (officially eleven years!). We’ve spent most of our relationship living together at this point. I still really love her. That’s awesome.

I think part of the problem for me is that Susie has changed and gotten even cooler and stronger than she already was and I haven’t. So I can’t possibly imagine how she could be attracted to me as I am.

WATCHING MOVIES With only the light from the Christmas Tree is so great.

I need to have a flexible identity. Instead of seeing myself as someone who IS great, I should see myself as someone who’s TRYING to be great. There will be successes and failures.

0 notes

taeyamayang · 2 years

Note

Welcome back!!!!

I am happy to inform you that I FINALLY READ A BOOK ON MY BOOKSHELF!!! it was a book I got from my highschool fucking YEARS ago when they were reading out books. Oh my god you should’ve seen me on those days, I’d get piles of piles of PILES of books and struggle to bring them on the bus back home. My backpack was STUFFED to the brim and my teacher let me borrow a reusable plastic bag to carry the rest lol. One year the same teacher gave me some of her books from her classroom and I put them all in my locker, which you think is a safe space for them but NO. So towards the end of the year I was really struggling with my health so the school emptied out my locker when school ended and put all my stuff into a plastic bag and my mom picked it up. When I finally got the stuff from my locker tHE STAFF AT THE SCHOOL TOOK ALL MY BOOKS TO THE LIBRARY!!!!! THEY THOUGHT IT WAS THEIRS!!!! oh I was PISSED. The kicker is that HALF OF MY TEACHERS BOOKS THAT SHE GAVE ME WHERE WEEDED OUT BOOKS FROM THE LIBRARY IN THE FIRST PLACE. So I emailed people in the library to see if I could get them back, but the thing is….I didn’t remember what the titles were. It has been weeks since I got them from her and I had bigger things going on then. So I did get get my books. UNTIL! the end of the NEXT year when they were weeding them out again and when I went to the library to print something I found them amongst other weeded out books!!! I was so happy!!! I ran Into my teachers room like 🏃‍♂️💨 “I NEED A BAG!!!” She was like 🧍‍♀️???? Ok? Lmao she was used to my shenanigans by then LOLOL and o got my books back!!! Yay! A little random story time lol.

I wish I could write more. I’m so fucking busy with everything and never feel like I have time to exist smh. I have a whole ass list of things I want to do and reading and writing is at the top of it. I still have an entire Pokémon game that I’ve had for like a year now that I haven’t touched ugh. It doesn’t help that I’m always tired too. I recently went to the doctor and he told me that all the physical problems I’ve been having for years are all connected somehow because of my nerves and since it’s a “functional” disease I was diagnosed with(? Im not holding my breath at this point) there’s not much I can do besides take meds. It put me in a sort of funk and I’m trying my best to get back on my grind, but it’s not the easiest yknow?

But! I have been writing a little! And I did not forget the prompt you gave me (the one that blossomed from the stories of me getting hit with balls in gym lmao) I’m in the progress in writing a little Kuroo Drabble, but the thing is I can never finish a paragraph without rewriting it all immediately. I can’t even get my ideas down!! It’s my toxic trait smh.

I’m glad I described your relationship with religion well! I was afraid I was getting a little too close for comfort especially since religion is such a sensitive topic. Ok I’m Ngl I was afraid I offended you or something but I had to remind myself like “pea has social anxiety too! Sending responses can be scary!!! Just bc your anxiety makes you feel obligated to respond asap doesn’t mean everyone else with anxiety does!!!” lol. Also my anxiety loves to screw me with the fact that I often say the wrong thing- most of the time, I mean something else but it comes off different. This leaves me in a constant fear that I offended people, which is fun at parties, yknow? But fr, I’m glad my words reached you. I have a hard time speaking and getting my point out physically, my adhd goes brrrrrrr, and my anxiety and speech issues don’t fucking help either smh I think everything at once and none of it comes out right). but I’m glad my words can come across to you right in text form lol.

This next part sounds weird but I have a point so stick with me here. I honestly think that people don’t really think about how much words can effect others and inspire people. We use them and throw them around like they don’t have any weight but don’t always realize what they can mean. I feel like I sound like an anti bullying PSA but I gOT A POINT I PROMISE. People use words as ways to get by in the day but I live for the moments where we break past the barriers of small talk and say something that really impacts each other and makes them think and feel. When we let words have weight instead of just being things we use and dispose of later on. But since people are afraid of being vulnerable that never happens. That’s why books are so important, and thats why I wanna write. When you read books you become a part of the story and you are able to take words in without it being personal enough (like in real life) where you feel uncomfortable and vulnerable, but they are personal enough to stick with you and make you stop and go “well, shit.” In awe, of course. LOLOL I hope you get what I mean and it wasn’t TOO deep and serious. But the point of the story is that I’m glad I said something meaningful to you, I don’t always feel like my words are really always heard or interpreted right and it’s very reassuring when they are. Also, if I didn’t make it abundantly clear before LOLOL that’s why I love writing. Now if I can actually GET MYSELF TO WRITE A PARAGRAPH THAT WOULD BE NICE 😭 ( that was laughing but also crying in pain emoji btw)

Oof that was a long paragraph, but anyways Interaction day???? That’s fucking weird. Like that was the whole purpose? Just interacting with the opposite gender? And they made you give each other pillows?????? I feel like if anyone else told me this I would be like “bullshit” but maybe this is common in schools in Asia? Or was it just your school?? Isn’t this the same school that you said was all prim and proper??? I don’t know what else to say besides “?????” Because what was the purpose???? Especially if you were told to date after Uni? OMG I JUST THOUGHT HOW WEIRD IT WAS ESPECIALLY SINCE THEY GO SO FAR TO PREVENT RELATIONSHIPS, BUT WHAT IF THEY DID THAT AS LIKE A DETERRANT? LIKE TO MAKE SURE YOU DONT “TURN GAY”???? I literally can’t think of another reason they would do that. Especially with the pillows? Like what else could it be referencing besides sex? And I found that especially weird since I know America is very “laid back” when it comes to social rules and norms compared to other countries, but teen pregnancy and sex in schools has always been kinda taboo. Like some teens have sex, some don’t,-which is completely normal. I know American tv shows make teen sex sound so common but honestly who has time for that????? The thing is no matter how much sex is portrayed in media or irl, American schools don’t want ANY OF IT. Like Sex Ed in America SUCKS especially if you ain’t cishet and some schools don’t even have that. Some books even mentioning sex are banned??? Because high schoolers don’t know what sex is, yeah sure. Also for school trips and stuff the boys and girls are ALWAYS separated so there is no chance of any “hanky panky” or anything. So the whole gifting pillows thing is especially odd to me.

Ok so just to clairify, since I know I referenced middle school before and middle school, or jr high looks different around the world, when I saw middle school I mean 6-8th grade or 11-14 years old. Most elementary schools are kindergarten-5th or 5-11 years old. Some elementary schools go until the fourth grade and leaves the fifth grade to the middle school but I feel like most are just kindergarten through fifth. My first day of middle school, I made a friend who had a boyfriend. I thought it was crazy since we aren’t even teens yet but then I found out that having relationships in middle school isn’t uncommon? Hell my little sister had a girlfriend for like a MONTH in eighth grade at 14, and they hated each other at the end of it. The thing is, relationships are hard, EVEN FOR ADULTS. Like I mentioned, people don’t like to be vulnerable because they are afraid of being hurt and everyone is on different wavelengths on what they want or expect in relationships. Not everyone wants or expects the same thing and a lot of the time it gets messy. Especially when it comes to sex. Not all relationships have sex and not all relationships know how to function with sex. By that I mean sex is a very big and heavy thing. Emotionally and physically. Not everyone feels the same way about it and it can hard to talk about with your s/o responsibly. And again, this is for ADULTS. You can probably imagine how hard it is for kids to distinguish what a relationship is, especially balancing in the sex part that everyone expects to have in relationships and that they are oh so curious about. Remember when I mentioned that I read a book from my bookshelf? Well the book was called Unslut and it was literally the authors middle school diary with side notes on the side with her giving more details on each entry. She was brandished a slut in middle school when she was coerced into sexual acts and or sexually assaulted. Most of the time it was sexual assault actually, but they were so young they didn’t really know. The author and a lot of other kids hopped from “relationship” (or just like holding hands in the hallway and sending flirty messages with the occasional kiss) to relationship, breaking up by phone calls and passed notes. And all of that took place in the late 90s, so you can imagine how it is now with the internet and such.

I love how you called you friends babe and such just to confuse people, honestly? That’s iconic. I LOVE HOW YOU WERE LIKE “HELL NAW, iM THE ORIGINAL GAY HERE. ME!” Everyone was thinking she turned you gay lmaoooooo. Break those stereotypes!!!

I’m glad I didn’t go to your school bc my ADHD ass looked eVERYWHERE during tests. Like if I really try to think and remember something for a paper or any task I’m working on independently I often look around. Never at another persons test, our desks were often separated anyways. But even if I tried to (which I didn’t) I couldn’t bc I have horrible fucking eyesight 😅. I couldn’t see shit even with my glasses on. I just KNOW I’d get in trouble for “cheating”

I actually bought another pair like six months later and still have them in my closet, but the thing is, even though my shoe size hasn’t really changed since 13 or so, I still have big ass feet 😭. I’m like a size ten in womens and I didn’t buy these ones in Chinatown, I bought them online and they were smaller and my feet barely fit and my heels touch the flat of the shoe EXACTLY. They don’t really fit 😢😢😢. I do sometimes miss it there, even though it was super fucking chaotic, just because I knew everyone and everyone knew me. We were all genuine and we were able to be authentic to each other. When I started high school not long after everyone was hidden to themselves and not really genuine with each other. This isn’t really bad, especially since it’s not a school of like 100 and everyone can’t be as close knit, but it got really overwhelming sometimes. I still wish for that familiarity sometimes with making friends and being social since meeting new people and making friends is hard, but my time there really did bring me out of my shell, nonetheless. Before I left, I actually got a composition notebook, decorated it and passed it around for people to write goodbye notes in it. I still look at it from time to time when I need a pick me up and it’s full of encouraging notes. I actually did go and visit a few times and donated clothes, and it was a very strange experience. I saw it as an outsider, but still with familiarity. I actually saw Daia when I went back and I gave her long hugs. The middle school I went to after was a special needs school and two of the staff from the residential also worked there too and I took a picture with them as I graduated middle school and they shared it with my friends there and they were so proud of me 🥺. Oh! I also saw Daia and Kayla at the Walmart I go to and was SHOOK. They were shopping for clothes and they decided to go to the Walmart closer to me instead of the town over since the boys dorm was shopping there and I got to catch up with them and take a few selfies. I’m still sorta in contact with a few people, including Kayla via Instagram but others I just have to really hope they are doing well, like Daia and the one friend I called my sister. And now I want pie too lol.

I do wanna watch Our Father, I watched the trailer and it’s very interesting!!!! I love buzzfeed unsolved and some of my favorite ones are the true crime, unless it’s when Shane and Ryan are exploring the supernatural, then that takes the cake. Speaking of true crime, idk if I mentioned this but the other day when I was working on something on my laptop and listening to a true crime YouTuber they were like this case takes place in (MY TOWN) and then she started describing it. I was like wait a damn minute and had to rewind like three different times. The thing is, my town is pretty big and well off. It’s not exactly unknown but it’s not known well enough for people outside my state to mention it. It’s also a very affluent town with people moving her to retire and raise families and such so you don’t really hear bad things about this place. EsPECIALLY IF ITS A DOUBLE MURDER THAT ALSO TAKES PLACE IN THE SURROUNDING TOWN. LiKE WHAT THE FUCK. It wasn’t too long ago, I think it was like the early 2000s? I didn’t live here then but still. It was trippy. I’m used to hearing things that happen closer to the big city in my state or maybe in the same county or one close. But never IN MY TOWN.

And about the haunted home bit. I think I might’ve??? Slept in a haunted home, at least. Ok maybe not haunted per se, but let me explain. As a little girl, like very small, four year old kinda little, I would frolic around my house and sometimes speak to people that weren’t there. It wasn’t really a big deal since I was so small and just playing around and it was make believe or whatever. Until! My mom heard me giggling by myself and she asked who I was talking to. I said, “Papa Ray! He’s so funny!!!! I never met a Ray before but The thing is, my mom was super close to her grandfather, Raymond. Her family was super abusive, but he was one of the only people who really cared for her. Sadly he got sick and passed away when she was ten or so I never got to meet him…. At least as he was living. My mom was creeped tf out. That wasn’t the only time I “played with ghosts” but it’s the only one I can distinctly describe. They say little children and animals can see ghosts, yknow?

My aunt, my moms sister was the one who kept getting engaged and calling off the wedding. The boys she keeps getting involved with aren’t the greatest and every time she says she’s getting married I don’t hold my breath smh. I’m glad you had fun at the wedding tho!

I enjoy our messages too aND OMG IS MOMO A MODEL??? THAT POSE! THAT GRACE! THAT BEAUTY! ABSOLUTELY STUNNINGGGGG!!

Oh I took photos of my cats recently! I also entered a picture of Thor and it won third place!! I entered a lot of stuff and even one first place for a few but this photo was def the cutest!! I also entered the Loki pic but it didn’t win :(

But I took pictures of the cats recently, including cursed ones of them sniffing the camera (aka my fav ones) also I gave Thor a box that was too small for him and he was convinced he fit 🥺

hi i was busy, yet again 💀

it's good to here that you had finally touched your books!! and your crazy story about the school taking your books to the library tho,, why would they do that 😭 it was in your locker so it's yours why would they assume that it's the school's. idk why but i can imagine you bringing home bulky bags full with books and THAT'S heavy. back in the day, we didn't have lockers (actually we had but i attended a sadistic school so everyday we had homeworks that needs to be done so we have no choice but to bring a shit ton of academic books and notebooks one per subject home) and i also have packed lunches and a huge jug (i was dehydrated lol 💀) so imagine bringing a full backpack, my lunch, my snacks (v important), a jug and sometimes a yoga mat for p.e. SO I WAS TIRED AND LAZY BRINGING STUFF TO SCHOOL AND BACK also, i didn't like books back then because we were forced to read and like it. KUDOS TO YOU FOR THE EFFORT 😩👌🏼

ahhh don't push yourself too hard especially on days you feel tired. take small steps each day and it is enough :) OH I'M EXCITED FOR THE KUROO DRABBLE I'M SO HYPED OMFG LIKE LITERALLY SMILING LIKE A DAMMNED FOOL RN!! YOU SEE i know it may be hard but try to write all down without editing a single thing LIKE IT WILL BE HARD but you gotta trust the process. if you want to, i can help you with it! conceptualizing, writing, or editing IM SO SO EXCITED!! i get what you mean ith words being disposable nowadays, and that's where our love for books, writing, and reading becomes more apparent. being part of story is one thing but writing your own story, fueled by your experiences and perspective on life is something else. that's why i think on my part, writing is therapeutic. it has become my stress reliever ever since the pandemic started and shit stirred in uni. so, one day i hope to read your works too!! i'd like to know how you see the world, how words insipired you. I'M WAITING!!

oh nooo don't worry about it!! even if you accidentally said the wrong thing i still keep an open mind ya know language barrier and all that so don't worry, really. i'm like the most patient you'll ever meet lmaooo my irls know me for my patience. i take time to reply (bc of low social energy-had to deal with irls and online lol) but it doesn't mean i'm offended and i'm not the ghoster type so if ever i need to clear things up with you, i'lll say/ask it nicely SO DON'T WORRY! i'm a safe person. you can be yourself when talking to me :)

i feel like since i replied to this super duper late i feel like you may have forgotten the context (we had school interaction with the opposite sex and give each other pillows) AND YES YOU'RE RIGHT it wasnt outright said but before the school had issues with the students turning "gay" so it wasn't said outright that it was for that purposed BUT IT WAS IMPLIED. i know the gifts are weird i think i have them donated to a charity or smth LMAO. really??? im sorry but through media i always have this idea that american schools are open to sex like if you're in hs/middle school and is a virgin, you are humiliated/emphasized by your lack of experience

OKAY GOOD OMG thanks for clearing things ups regarding middle school and such becaue all this time i thought middle school is from 1st grade to idk (i had no idea honestly) here we call kindergarten as pre school, 1st grade to 6th grade as elementary school, then 7th grade to 12th grade as highschool but HS is sub divided to two: 7th to 10th grade called junior high school and the last two years are senior high school (but in our language-the students- 10th grade: sophomore, 11th grade: junior, 12th grade: senior). i think it's ironic how you started talking about relationships, your first friend in middle school having a boyfriend, and the sex talk in a relationship because...i'm actually thinking of breaking things off with an s/o FSNEVEKEBS I AGREE WITH YOU HOW YOU ILLUSTRATED THE COMPLICATIONS OF A RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE IT GETS MESSY i for one do not fancy labels cos you see when you put a label on a relationship you're somehow bound to concede with the societal norms of dating (ya see im not clingy, value my personal space, not a chatter, i dont flex on social media--literally the opposite of what i write (kidding, i express my feelings differently. im a head over heart type which i recently found is rare)) AND I JUST HATE IT YOU KNOW how you are forced to date just like how everyone else does!! even with being intimate like physically i just feel... ugh idk man it's hard to earn my trust and affection and that could be a me problem but im gsmehs (sorry i ended up ranting to you) overall relationships is a complicated route to take and i think for the youngesters they might find it cheesy the first time but when you've dated a few and been scarred i'm just- 💀 it's not simple SO I GET WHAT YOU MEAN!!

wait, before we go to the topic of your school you mentioned your shoe size and im surprised?? DO YOU KNOW WHAT MY SHOE SIZE IS IN THE US?? FREAKING 5!! it's actually embarrassing lmao but a fun fact! do you know that smaller feet means luckier in our culture? lol aside from having a short height i relatively have small feet (cos people of the same height as i have bigger feet) so the oldies in our family would always comment how i'm born lucky since my feet are small. i don't feel lucky bro lol anyway back to your school. it's nice that you have a mini memento from your old schoolmates!! you can always go back to the composite notebook and reread their encouraging notes from to time. it's good that you look back to the past with a warm heart AND YOU MET WITH DAIA AND OTHERS!! THAT'S SO COOL did you guys catch up? remained in contact after the meeting or not?

A MURDER IN YOUR TOWN?? HECKKKK that must be creepy!! was the case solved? what happened to the victim/s? OMG THAT'S INTERESTING but also terrifying 🥶 i never heard of a case that took place in my city nor in my country. i think there aren't much murderers here which is a good thing bc as much as its an interesting topic to tell it's downright frightening. i think the closest famous cases i know are from japan but even though i live approximately near it, it's still too far to harm me heh. OMG YOU COULD SEE GHOSTS!! yeah, i heard of that saying!! kids and animals could see ghosts maybe bc they have pure hearts/souls? idk honestly but speaking of haunted houses, i live at my grandma's house this has been up since AGES ago so it has an old style to it and many have died in this house. that's why we have experiences here that make us doubt if ghosts are indeed real (i think i have told you about that right? we could hear voices of a family member calling from upstairs only to find out that the said family member went out? OR HAVE I NOT? I DONT REMEMBER SORRY GSNDBENE)

YOUR CATS!! OMG I LOVE LOVE LOVE SEEING YOUR BABIES!! THE SNIFFLING YOUR CAMERA POSES AND THE LOOKING OUT THE WINDOWS ARE MY ABSOLUTE FAVES!! gosh you could probably tell that im a big cat person ugh

i feel the same way! i like hearing from you tho it takes me eons to reply but i look forward to your replies everytime i check my inbox (it takes me awhile cos sometimes it gets swamped by asks or reqs)

OH BTW!! before i wrap this up, you're one of the first persons i tell you about this but i'm planning on opening a sticker business!! i'm almost done with the artworks and i can't wait to show you them next time i write to you... or should i post one here?....hm... MAYBE I SHOULD OMG it's genshin so you might not know him but this is a chibi zhongli i made and some artifacts and primogems i made :) im new on digital arts so i'd like to know what you think!! (the copyright thingy may be annoying im sorry!! tumblr is a funny place and i dont want my art to get stolen by someone before i could release them as my products 😭)

thank you love for taking your time in waiting and talking with me. i enjoy our conversations:)

#myve.😺#pea.asks

1 note · View note

virghogh · 3 years

Text

Guessing NCT's rising signs: Huang Renjun as a Cancer rising

Welcome to my first post where I write all about why I think this idol is X rising sign! I don't know how many of these I'll do because it heavily depends on how confident I feel in my guess of their rising lol for Renjun's rising sign, it's something I've been sitting on for a loooong time just to see if anything else comes into my head. At the end of the day we really have no way to know for sure, even if the idols gives us their birth time it still has to be taken with a grain of salt! But it’s still fun theorize and to test your skills while learning at the same time. So for now I feel pretty confident sharing my thoughts on Renjun as a cancer rising.

Let’s ✨explore✨ why:

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧long post! *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

✦ Before I even decided to look up his chart layout, there were 2 characteristics of Renjun that initially led me to think he’s a Cancer rising. His eyes and his physique. His eyes aren’t necessarily as big as idols we’ve seen with moon in 1st, but they’re still very notable features of his physical appearance that he’s very well known for. They’re bigger, soft and dreamy, and sometimes look like he quite literally holds stars in his eyes. The biggest physical feature though is his, well, petite frame. Next to his eyes, renjun is also really well know for his smaller build. It’s even a well known inside joke amongst NCT, they all him “big shoulders renjun” (lol) because “for a guy” his shoulders a on the smaller side. Both of these physical attributes can also be identifying characteristics of cancer risings.

✦ So, in general I think he is a Cancer rising. But if we want to be more specific; I do think he is a 3rd decan Cancer rising which is the Pisces/Neptune ruled decan. I initially chose this because his house and planet placements just make so much more sense to me when the rising is in the 3rd decan (I'll get into that below), but after reading about the 3rd decan I also think it fits his personality really well! With the Neptune and Pisces influence, he's more on the open side of Cancer rising but more notably, 3rd decans are a lot more inclined to art/creativity and sometimes, music specifically. These people also have a very dreamy attraction about them. He also has his Venus trine ASC which can further add to this kind of creative vibe he gives off, but is also drawn to! It emphasizes the importance of aesthetics, art and creativity in his life. If you've never been on Renjun stan twt then you might not know that a lot of his fans see him as this incredibly dreamy and ethereal boy (as they should) and I can see why!

*:･ﾟ✧house and planet placements *:･ﾟ✧

Scorpio moon, Sagittarius Pluto in 5th:

✦ yea... just yes. Okay but actually, if you read my NCT Dream Hexaco x Birth Chart analyses, I talked a lot about his chart already because I really like it. As someone with a Scorpio moon, I can't help but be really interested in how his plays out. And I have to say, I am quite attached to this theory because I think his scorpio moon in 5th just. makes. sense. I'm not going to go much into the descriptions of the placements, I'm mostly going to stick to the house influence. We know that Scorpio moons have really intense emotions, they internalize everything and are just highly sensitive people to their environments. Renjun has been incredibly open about his mental and emotional struggles ever since being a kid. I've honestly never heard an idol talk about their struggle like he has. He even opened up recently about how a few years ago he had an art therapist that really helped him and lowkey changed his life. I feel like a lot of this can be reflected in his 5th house. The house of creativity, expression, creation. His 5th cusp is also in Scorpio. 5th house in water tend to be really drawn to arts and music. Having a Scorpio moon, a moon sign that can be quite guarded, in a fire house can also explain his readiness/openness to share his emotions and art. Also let's not forget his chart ruler is his Scorpio moon in 5th! What I've wrote above are big themes in his life, which we've seen.

✦ As for the Pluto in 5th. Because his 5th house is in Scorpio this would mean the 5th ruler is in 5th. I know it might not make sense at first because it's pluto and pluto is misunderstood. But it makes perfect sense to me. Pluto in 5th is a deeply passionate and creative placement. It bring so much energy to this house, and can even create a borderline obsession with themes of this house. With creating and expressing. But I could also see having this and his scorpio moon in this house bringing so much energy, it just kind of adds to the confusion and intensity of a scorpio moons emotions and processing abilities, like, emotionally overwhelming. Scorpio moons always need an outlet and they usually figure that out the hard way at some point in life. The outlet can vary based off the chart, his is without a doubt connected to his art; whatever that may be to him.

───────────────────────────────────

Aquarius Uranus in 8th:

✦ This part is brief because it's more of like, additional details to what's already in his chart. Something that is really well known about Renjun too is how much he is into space and aliens and stuff like that. He, once again, has been very open about it lol on variety shows I've seen him light up every time its briefly mentioned and he'll comment on how much he finds that stuff interesting. The 8th house is weird, it can manifest in a lot of different ways. The biggest point here for me is that the house is in Aquarius with Uranus here. I know someone with this placement too and, while they're open minded to astrology and tarot etc. it's a bit more focused on logic. I can't say for sure because I don't know him, but he kind of strikes me as the kind of person that would fight to death over aliens existing, but draws the line at astrology lol. I actually do think he would be open to astrology and tarot, but he'd need the right introduction to it. Anyways, yea this placement to me explains a lot of his interest in space and things we don't understand. He's expressed his curiosity in it. I think a lot of this is coming from his Scorpio moon and Pisces mercury/venus which is why I think it's just additional support.

───────────────────────────────────

Pisces Mercury/Venus in 9th:

✦ THIS HOUSE right here... so much to say. Firstly, Pisces in 9th is probably one of the main culprits for his creativity, deep thinking and curiosity in the world. And more importantly: his imagination. I've mentioned this a lot when I talk about renjun but, he's very well known for his creativity, but I want to make it clear that there is a distinction between creation and imagination. His imagination is truly... on another level. Well, planet actually since it's pisces! Again, amongst fans it's really well known his imagination is just so unqiue. This is less about the 9th house and more about the fact that he has 2 pisces placements but it still affects it lol. He's very open about his imagination and speaks about it so naturally. He shared his drawing of a bird, hybrid, thing? and how it's an animal that steals your dreams in your sleep. Anyways, Pisces in 9th aren't necessarily the travelers we'd see with an air or fire sign here, but they like to travel mentally. He's also talked about how he's just in general a very curious person and you can tell his thoughts probably travel far and wide in his down time.

✦ What's really interesting to me about this house is his mercury is here and Mercury in 9th is a very specific kind of placement. It almost always guarantees an interest and talent in learning languages. I don't know if languages are necessarily a passion for him but he definitely is interested and cares about learning language and other cultures. He also did pick up on Korean and English with ease. Which also reminds me that, he actually was exposed to Korean at a young age because I'm pretty sure he went to a bilingual school (chinese and korean). This is also a big deal to me because planets in 9th, especially sun/mercury often indicate very early exposure to languages or other cultures... so yea that checks out. This can also be proved by looking at his IC in Virgo, which puts the ruler in 9th. His mercury is also sextile Jupiter. I also wanna comment that he has his Mercury in the 5th degree, I'm not great at degree theory yet but that feels significant to me. Of course we cannot forget his absolutely angelic voice. Renjun is also very well known for his stunning vocals. Not only are Pisces placements musically inclined but Pisces mercury are known for their sweet voices.

✦ As for the venus is 9th, I feel like I have more to say on his venus being in Pisces because that's where so much of his artistic creativity and imagination come from. But venus here adds to a lot of what I've written above, adding to his curiosity of the world. What I find most interesting about venus in 9th though, is it brings another inclination to art! He might really like art from different places in the world, or just exploring all types of art being very open minded to its different forms etc. Venus here also brings ease to language learning, and these people will naturally have other cultures and people from them as a big part of their life. I feel like, in general it's not surprising at all to me that as a foreign member (being from China), that he would have 9th house influence! It can often manifest as like.., travel, other languages, cultures and parts of the world etc. are just very naturally a part of their life. Some people never really contemplate life overseas or in another country. But for 9th housers, it's never not been an option. His 9th house influence can also make him a great teacher, mentor and just overall supportive person. We've seen some of this in the content he's made with NCT. Like trying to teach his members chinese with Chenle, except he was taking it way more seriously lol but was so supportive. He's also tried to get Jeno and Jisung involved in his art making, but keeping the process very open and fun.

───────────────────────────────────

Aries sun, Taurus mars in 10th:

✦ This is the last part I'm going to cover because it is really just the icing on the cake to finish this up. The 10th house is considered pretty important when looking at celebrities/idols because it's very likely a lot of what we see from them is their 10th house influence. In the chart model I'm using for Renjun, it puts his MC in the very last degrees of Pisces, so there's a chance it's in Aries but either way with his sun and mars here they are still playing a big role. So for that reason, I'm opting for Pisces MC. I also think Pisces MC fits though because first it puts the ruler in his 7th house. Meaning he could really benefit and work well in something that involves a group! Because it's Pisces in Neptune, it also adds to his very ethereal vibe and how people just seem to love him wherever he goes. He's very magnetic and can come off as artistic and sensitive. He's known for being dreamy, unreal, artistic, sensitive.

✦ Again, we know he has an aries sun and taurus mars so I'm not going to explain them here, just how they affect the house, but having his these here makes so much sense to me too. Having planets in 10th also influences what kind of "vibe" people get from you, and what you're "known" for. Mars and Sun bring similar energy of being well known for for energy, drive, and even stage presence. Not being afraid to be on stage, being good with attention and spotlight. He's known for his kind of playful and childish behavior at times. He is charismatic, bold, brave, happy and upbeat. With the sun, he is again known for his creativity and creations and also self-expression.

─────────────────────

Thank you to anyone who read all this. I don't really expect many people to because I'm mostly writing this for my own curiosity and to finally just put this theory out there! Anyways, stan Renjun best boy <33

Thoughts and feedback are always welcome <3

─────────────────────

#tldr I love renjun #the way this is a whole essay and took hours to write #but there’s literally nothing else I’d rather spend my time doing #it’s my time I decide how to waste it lmao #NCT #kpop astrology #NCT astrology #NCT rising #astrology #zodiac signs #kpop #NCT dream #huang renjun #renjun #NCT 127

75 notes · View notes

spongebob-connoisseur · 3 years

Note

Got any Spongebob hot takes? About a season, episode, character, etc?

You know, I'm pretty stuck on this. This has been sitting in my inbox for so long. Its so hard to remember these on the spot. I only remember when I'm talking about other stuff lol brainz werk in mysterious ways lol

But I'll still try!

- slappy is the best thing to ever exist.

- Squidabeth is the best thing to ever exist.

Okay before this turns into a brainrot list. Here's the actual hot takes!

-Nerd spongebob is superior sponge. I know later seasons focus more on him being more babyish/childish. But ehh I miss his more nerdier personality.

- I'm okay with the spinoffs. I get so tired always having to clarify on the spinoffs all the time. Jeez do your own research, I ain't magic or working inside with Nick (I wish) I'm tired. I have my concerns and issues otherwise but like if you want to watch it then do it. If you don't then just don't.

- man why did it take so long for Sandy to interact with the other female characters? Why did it take so long for any of the characters to interact? Its random but I was thinking about this a while ago. I get the show is Spongebob Squarepants. Everything is from his POV. But a lot of the female characters could use a little more development. I want an episode focused on Mrs. Puff outside of boating school. She's into metal. She's already cool. Pls let her become a rock star pls. Or just another Sandy/Karen episode because they're so cute together. Its so weird to think about all of them only begun to interact recently.

- I really want them to bring back Pearl being gifted at math!! So much story potential. I'll be honest, I don't like whenever shows got that stereotypical teenage girl character™ no reason but they get a little annoying if you leave it like that. Pearl was apparently supposed to be more apart of the main cast but didn't get used so often. Come on!! I wanna see her hang out with Squidina!! I really like Squidina.

- there's no such thing as a bad episode with The Flying Dutchman. Never. Even the worst ones are still amusing.

- Dutchy probably doesn't pay child support. I just wanted to say that xD

- there is no way Squishwart is heterosexual

- shows timeline is

- first episode any episode where Perch is orange, any episode where Perch is purple, 2nd movie, 1st movie.

Not a complete time line but ya kno. There's two timelines tho! Same as the first but kamp koral takes place in the beginning, then the patrick show. Then we start at the first episode. Then after that, the 3rd movie takes place between the 2nd and 1st movie.

Hope I didn't lost ya there.

- oh yeah! Perch's skin color probably changed with age. Some fishes change color with maturity! I headcanon orange being earlier, and purple being later.

I know you might point out the fish in Ripped Pants. He doesn't look much like Perch. Looks a lot older so I'm just gonna headcanon that it's Perch's dad.

- Kamp koral was kinda boring. The better episodes are when they focus on side characters or new characters. Idk its just not interesting when they focus it on the main cast. Excluding the one where Squidward and Patrick gets lost in the woods together. That was cute. Though my favorite episode is either the one with young Perch or the night cabin.

- season 1 is elite. It's my favorite season of all time. I could go on and on about what I love about this season but everything about it feels so wholesome yo.

- my favorite season amongst the modern era is probably 10? I know that's fan favorite of the modern era. I'd also say season 12 too. Which is an unpopular season due to the expressions but I find myself revisiting season 12 often. Its weird but fun to go back to every so often.

- a lot of spongebob has been ragged on unfairly. I know I always come for the middle seasons but even they are over hated. Its amusing tho how the middle seasons were so hated in the previous years. Nowadays they get more love because the kids who grew up with them has grown to appreciate them. Now its the modern seasons that get a lot of hate. Often times for just being different.

- ehh classic elites kinda ruin the show for me. I wouldn't say this is a be all end all. I still like the classic era and of course nothing can replace how witty and funny it was. But geez these people take it so seriously that it just sucks the fun out of it. Its fun to express your love for spongebob online but they always gotta rag on it and insult people who don't hate everything that came out after the movie. Its ironic considering I used to be a classic elitist. Every so often when I see them raging online, I'm like "jeez was that me?" It gets so exhausting to hate on the show. I also think its a little weird how they've martyred Hillenburg while also acting like the gods of justice by sending death threats to his colleagues and friends. Ehh they get pretty invasive at times. Its kinda uncomfortable.

- on that note. I also find it annoying how people are like "oh kids today will never know how good spongebob was!" Like the classic era doesn't constantly rerun on tv to this day. Jeez I was too young to even remember the classic era when it first began airing. Yet the classic era was what was on tv most of the time. Its like how adults assume kids don't know what vhs tapes/CDs are just because it isn't as popular as it used to. They don't magically disappear the moment something new comes out.

You know that reminds me, when I was a teen, I used to purposely act like I didn't know what some stuff were just to make adults feel like they're out of touch. "Facebook? what is that?" "Britney Spears? Never heard of her" it's so funny.

- Ngl I keep rewatching the Patrick show just to feel something

- mr. Krab's cheapiness went so out of control. Mans due for a spinoff just to rework his character so he can become tolerable again.

- from reading the spongeBob pitchbible and the mussel beach episode. My only thoughts were "spongebob has two hands, one for Sandy, one for Larry"

- the best episodes of Patrick is when he's being sweetly stupid. He's dumb but he knows and loves his friends. That's like the baseline for Patrick. He'd be terribly hurt if he upset them and he cares about them to the end of the earth. If you make patrick a jerk because he's stupid then you've failed to understand him.

- oh also, I'm pretty sure Bunny and Cecil are Pat's adoptive parents. Pat said in Home Sweet Pineapple that his parents kicked him out. I imagine when he did get kicked out, he wasn't prepared so he probably got adopted by the closest Sea Star family around. Thus the Patrick show was born! I already do find Pat's parents questionable. Like letting their daughter get lost like that, or mental training with a bell that managed to even have spongebob say they screwed Patrick up. Bunny and Cecil seem like healthier parents for pat. Plus he got another sister :)

- another thing, ehh Spongebob's parents and family in general are either questionable to outright awful. Man his uncle sherm really kicked out his own son??? captain blue couldn't listen to spange when he desperately needed help? Also spongebob's parents neither taking him seriously and seem to have their own issues too.

- on the note of poor family figures. I'm certain Mr. Krabs father Victor Krabs abandoned his family. Mr krabs grew up dirt poor with only his mother supporting him. I also assume Mr. Krab's other family is also kinda sucky since he didn't really introduce any of them to Pearl. Probably for a reason. Though his mom in the comics seems to have known about Pearl. She's probably the only krab in the family he really cares about.

- Sandy and Karen SHOULD get together. I don't make the rules 😤 😤

- patchy is good. I don't get why is he so hated. I also really like potty :)

- the 2nd movie is a comfort movie for me.

- they really brought the best music for the ScaredyPants episode. Also I find it kinda funny how they found such a hyper specific band for the show. The Ghastly Ones. A horror surf rock band. It fits too well and I like them enough to listen to their other songs just because.

- Ngl its satisfying when spongebob gets angry/frustrated. You dont see those emotions in him. Its either extreme joy or extreme sadness. It adds an interesting bit of nuance to his character.

And that's it! Or at least the only ones I can think of on the spot so uhh. Here ya go!

#Ask #spongebob #spongebob squarepants #sb #spongebon squarepants #the spongebob connoisseur #spongebob meme

21 notes · View notes

baezdylan · 2 years

Note

Okay but you asked for it

Gonna go on a rant about how I relate to the different Pevensie siblings now.

The more I think about it the more I realize that I relate to all of them in different ways. My main ones are obviously Edmund and Lucy. I'm most passionate about my similarities with Edmund because I see all of my insecurities in him. I call it adhd-coded middle child syndrome lol. My family is far too mixed and blended for me to have a clear "role", but through Narnia I've finally decided that in the dynamic I am a middle child, even if it doesn't really apply (I mean it kinda does but it doesn't at the same time. This is what happens when your parents divorce and both remarry and also your dad had a kid from a previous relationship).

I grew up with a Peter too! (Although mine isn't as good of a person). I'm right in the process of trying to get my adhd diagnosis, but I didn't even realize that's what I probably had until about a year and a half ago, so all my life I've really struggled with school and life just because my brain works differently than most people. And when I already felt stupid and lazy it didn't exactly help to grow up next to my stupid perfect brother who seemed to have such an easy time with everything I struggled with.

Also, my mom and I were discussing yesterday about a phase I had when I was nine where I absolutely HATED a particular singer (Swedish, you won't know who he is). I hated him so much. I definitely had my reasons that I won't get into, but the absolute level of passion in my hatred seemed to come a little out of nowhere. My mom said something that upon reflection I totally agreed with, which was that it seemed like I was just trying out hating something. That was very accurate, I remember clearly that my hatred of this guy was largely performative, and it immediately reminded me of Edmund in The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, when he, like we discussed, is basically just trying out being mean. Now, Edmund's phase is a little more extreme, but like, his dad was literally out fighting in a war so it's understandable. That didn't happen to me. (Thank God! Although that would be extremely out of character for my dad. He actually sat in prison for a total of about 7 months when he was young for refusing to do his required military training. This was back when all boys in the country were required to do it at 18. This is one of the coolest things about my dad, and it's not the first time I've bragged about it.)

The thing with Edmund that gets me the most though, which is a consequence of middle child syndrome and adhd, is this intense desire to be seen and understood. (Which is probably why I'm writing this ask in the first place. Ha! If I psychoanalyse myself first no one else can call me out on it!). And this is why he wants to be great, too! He wants to prove himself, and if he gets to stand in the spotlight more people will notice him, and surely some of them will then understand him.

My similarities to Lucy, though, are a lot more obvious, since that's mostly that we actually share character traits. I've always had a very similar "nice and sweet" persona in that sense. Also just the entire True Believer thing she has going on is very me. Like, I believe in magic! I always have. Maybe I'll never find a place like Narnia, but I still believe magic exists. I think Lucy and I share the same life philosophies.

Susan is definitely the one I relate to the least, but we share one very important thing. I'm the Mom Friend™. I've always liked taking care of people. That kinds slots me into the same role as the eldest sister lol.

Now, Peter's a complicated one...

I've always had a love-hate relationship with him, and both sides are very intense. I used to think that I hate him so much because I see him mostly from Edmund's perspective, which is very much true, but I realized recently that while I see my insecurities in Edmund, I see a lot of my flaws in Peter.

So yeah, that's also why I hate him. It's just that particular brand of stubbornness and pride that he has... It's too familiar lol.

Oh my God, It's fucking hilarious how disproportionately I talked about the different siblings. Holy shit.

I adore you for sharing this with me, it was so... comforting???? comforting. to read through because understanding fictional characters has always been the most reliable way of figuring myself out to me (And mostly it's the characters that I can see, aka the ones that come from TV and film, I think I tend to be a lot more subjective as a reader? I don't interpret flaws as flaws sometimes. That's the main reason why I'm such a TV geek, not everything is up to my own mind that way and there are many things keeping me grounded while watching.) Ok, crazy thought, but even tho we're like opposites when it comes to more concrete stuff, I still feel like our way of thinking is pretty similar? We'll notice and feel connected to different things but we'll work through them similarly? ANYWAYS! I noticed the same thing when it comes to fiction and relatable fictional characters, when you relate to a character's wants, wishes, ambitions and insecurities, you tend to love them (for me those characters are Lisa Cuddy, Rory Gilmore and Dan Humphrey) while flaws are a lot trickier to handle. I LOVED Peter but it was mostly due to me... just not seeing an issue with being stubborn and full of pride. Pride & Prejudice actually opened my eyes on that and it's precisely why it's such a precious book to me, instead of worshipping Darcy I loathed him at first and then it hit me! I didn't like him because his flaws were my flaws. (I always thought this was because of Austen's writing style, she's fairly objective, which I'm naturally a big fan of, with the only exception being characters named Jane but I'll forgive her for that😂) What's the worst is when you have a character like Jo March or Greg House for me, who are both your virtues and your vices so you kind of find it hard to navigate between what to dislike and what to like about them (And most times, I discover my flaws through them??? I do share flaws with Dan, Rory and Lisa too, but those are flaws I was aware of before seeing those shows and the fact that I share flaws with them is more comforting than revealing. + I don't share all of their flaws so there's room for simply loving a character for who they are without any personal involvement.) As a result, they mostly make you uncomfortable. But this is why fiction is so important, you know? It can help you grow and learn. I'd be absolutely insufferable without it.

YOUR DAD IS MY HERO FROM NOW ON OK? That is such a cool story!!!!!!

All of this was incredibly nice to read, thank you for sending this ask.☀️🧡❤

#mal the writer wizard #❤❤❤❤❤❤#💌restless wind inside a letter box💌#mal the writer wizard 💜💫📝

8 notes · View notes