#mostly just butch the dress by being the butch that wears the dress

[gatheringbones]

[“It was only after I came out as a dyke that, for the first time in my life, I felt ready to celebrate being a girl, and I did. Actually, I overdid. Armed with Esther Newton’s Mother Camp, Judith Butler’s Gender Trouble, and Joan Nestle’s A Restricted Country, I embraced femme. I dressed up in short flowery dresses, pushup bras, satin panties, and lacy stockings. I paid great attention to my long, curly, perfectly-coiffed hair, my glamorous makeup, and especially my pouty lips. I spritzed Lola’s smell on my skin—Estee Lauder’s Private Collection—and painted my nails. I wore all of it with black combat boots and a brilliant sense of irony. I reveled in my girliness, went over the top, learned how to tweeze my eyebrows and line my lips with a lip pencil.

My gender presentation was unmistakable: blatant female sexuality. I was a proud, in-your-face, take-no-prisoners, uppity, don’t-assume-I’m-straight-because-I-wear-lipstick-and-dresses femme dyke. Because femmes are always assumed to be straight or sleeping with men, and I do sleep with men, I made sure to always have a butch on my arm so I’d be read as femme. Even though I was sure I’d be mistaken for straight, the boys took one look at me and steered clear. It was as if I was too much of a woman for them to handle, like I was a handful, and I was. But butch girls love a handful—a handful of tits, a handful of ass, a girl who needs to be handled, a girl who can handle herself.

How I figured out I was a femme had a lot to do with the women I was attracted to and the dynamic between us. When I was in junior high, I used to mess around with a friend of mine named Angela. Angela was one of those girls who developed early; I remember she had big breasts in like sixth grade. We mostly kissed and touched over clothes, and we played out various boy-girl scenarios. I was always the girl—my early femme roots. My favorite of all our little scenes was the one where she was my male boss and I was the secretary. The boss made me have sex with him and told me if I didn’t I would get fired. Now this was all before Clarence Thomas, Anita Hill and the media awareness/obsession with sexual harassment. I remember she’d tell me to suck her dick and push my face unmercifully into her crotch, which smelled amazing,. The drama of it all—the force, the degradation, the power games—really got me off. After that, there was no going back to simplicity. I was hooked on the power.

Jen really epitomized all the girls I was attracted to then and still am. Being with a butch girl, I was valued for my combination of strength and vulnerability, for dressing up, for wanting an arm to hold onto, hips to wrap my legs around, being able to give my body over to her and say, I trust you, I’m yours. My butch loved me in low-cut dresses, appreciated my sexual voraciousness, worshipped my inner slut. I reveled in the fact that I could be strong and submissive all at once. Surrender and still be a feminist. Being a dyke is not just about who I fuck and love, it’s about being a girl who doesn’t play by the rules.

Butch girls don’t play by the rules either, and I love butch girls. Girls with hair so short you can barely slide it between two fingers to hold on. Girls with slick, shiny, barbershop haircuts and shirts that button the other way. Girls that swagger. Girls who have dicks made of flesh and silicone and latex and magic. Girls who get stared at in the ladies room, girls who shop in the boy’s department, girls who live every moment looking like they weren’t supposed to. Girls with hands that touch me like they have been touching my body their entire lives. Girls who have big cocks, love blow-jobs, and like to fuck girls hard. Every day, it is the girls that get called Sir that make me catch my breath, the girls with strong jaws that buckle my knees, the girls who are a different gender that make me want to lie down for them.

Someone else said it about me recently and it’s right on target: “She gets off on all different sorts of people sexually, but she falls for butches.” Like the poet who bought her first strap-on with me and then wanted to sleep with it on. The shrink-in-training who got harassed every time she drove down South. She did look so much like a fifteen-year-old boy: blue button-down shirts, neatly-combed blond hair. The ad exec who had names for her dildos and used to love for me to spit-shine her wingtips. The photographer whose face was so mannish she could pass almost anywhere. The writer who wanted a body like Loren Cameron’s. The telephone repairwoman who drove a truck. The cook who had a boy’s name. The academic who got cruised by gay men on Castro Street. The cornfed farmboy from the Heartland with arms so hard and strong you swear they’ve been working the land, not the iron at the gym.

And there’s the one who’s got the James Dean stare down, and dresses like a clean-cut fag, and looks at me like she could look at me forever and never blink or grow tired or move from the spot she’s in. She’s a girl who loves girls like me—girls in velvet bras, girls who want to surrender to her mouth. She’s a girl who isn’t afraid to throw a femme down on the bed and fuck her. Possess her. My kind of girl. This girl is different.”]

tristan taormino, from this girl is different, from a woman like that: lesbian and bisexual writers tell their coming out stories, 2000

[softness-and-shattering]

Where are all the guys sewists online?

Im having my semi-regular "I watch quite a few fun sewists but why is it always always women making dresses and skirts, where are the guys/butches making clothes I might actually want to wear??"

Theres a couple Ive found but they have like, one or two videos that are very technical and about drafting patterns, or its infrequently-posted exclusively-historical menswear (which is also fantastic; but Im not gonna be wearing that regularly or starting with it, I want inspiration for making my own clothes!)

Wheres the people making fun everyday or close-to everyday wear in chill style, being a bit chatty, saying hi to pets walking in the room, talking about their process?

Im mostly talking about youtube but I'll definitely consider other platforms.

For reference, some women sewists I watch regularly-ish include Bernadette Banner, Micarah Tewers, The Stitchery, Mariah Patty, Hazariel Costumes, Rachel...Maksy?

There is Lizard Leigh, who iirc is non-binary, I would just love if they uploaded more often 👀.

[isatartdump]

You draw them all so cool!!! And awesome!! But is that top surgery scars on loop 👀 (sorry I’m also curious were you thinking about anything specific when you drew them in casual clothes cause they all fit the characters So Well) sorry for bothering you I love your art

YES! I think Siffrin, Loop and Isa have top scars (CAN!! Do a stretch and say Odile has them too but I am not ready to think about it, I think she'll get more butch lesbian than she already is)… Lemme talk about them and hope I don't accidentally spoil the game HA

Loop's are more like how people usually draw top surgery scars? Mostly because I draw them by joining stars up, so it KINDA looks like stars blowing up!

I believe Isa left some really small scars just for the simbolism of finally being his authentic self or something… Since in vaugarde they transition (or honestly just find new ways to become themselves both physically and mentally) by using craft so I kinda headcanon it to be like… Treating your own body like it's made out of clay, people can just opt to have no scars whatsoever. Way easier than it is IRL, haha. I wish… Also I believe he'd put some tattoos on there to be stylish and handsome and pretty but I also don't know what kind of tattoo Isa would choose to get. If I do a modern AU I might think about it…

And Siffrin I'm. I'm working on it… I don't draw them shirtless often enough to think about it… But I see them as little lines that end on a small explosion at the end. Simple but gets a point across- More so a thing to remind him of how far they've gone rather than a thing that will be seen by other people but to fair isn't this what top scars are for us sometimes? Little reminders that things get better and how far we've come?

Now that the top scar ramble is over!!!!! Onto the thinking abotu something while drawing them casual... I was mostly thinking about clothes that would fit them in a sense of like. Fitting their body shape and just generally looked like they belong in their wardrobe. It's mostly about comfort and feeling like "Yeah they went to the store and bought that pair of pants". At least in my brain.

Making them look confident and comfortable in clothes that either fit their personality or what they usually wear kinda gets the overall feeling of "Yes of course Odile would wear that" methinks :) I'd say Loop is kinda the hardest one to dress in a way that... They would dress? Since they're. Nakey nakey the entire game but then you just work with what you think this sassy motherfucker (/aff) would wear. They have an absurd amount of personality that I think would be hard to not go into how they wear clothes

Loop my beloved. Was gonna gatekeep this last one but you guys can have it :) Also you don't bother! Thank you so much for liking my little thingies <3

[penaltyboxboxbox]

any genderbend headcanons you would like to share 👀????

YEAH....YEAH I DO....theyre all pretty random and non specific but if you want to hear me ramble about my girl drivers here u go

Charles: she's a non conventional fashion girlie...........she likes to dress quite femininely and and gets a lot of fashion based brand deals so she is often pairing skirts and such with her sportswear and it sometimes looks a bit silly. a lot of her fits are like...is it a fit or is she just really pretty and wearing designer lol. the skirt i drew her in is what I THINK would be her version of the quali pants, it's this knit skirt from gucci 💁‍♂️

Carlos: she is like two steps away from being a high bun lesbian. still keeps her FEM VIBES mostly because of family pressure. but the second she gets put in a dress its all a little . hm. youre a masc arent you.

Pierre: happy to be the paddock baddie like....she embraces it fully. she got a boob job and doesnt care if people know. constantly hints at being bisexual on instagram but will never confirm.

Esteban: the girl who had the most major glow up............and who has also had a bob her whole gd life. literally lives in a lulu jacket and yoga pants like its her uniform. she and pierre had the most toxic codependent girl friendship of all time. she's soooo so so tall and always got mad growing up because none of the boys liked her cause she was taller than them and got teased about it....still tall as fuck

Lance: my tall and beautiful wife...every few months she chops her bangs too short and everyone cries until they grow out again. she hates having hair in her eyes.... hates dresses and heels since she always sits with her legs out...gotta be comfy duh..

Fernando: milflonso............she was an it girl in her youth and then got divorced and came out as a lesbian and became an irresistible masc

George: the preppiest girl you can imagine she will never cut her hair AND she will wear a skort. extreme complex about being a tall girl.

Lewis: ultimate fashionista like she gets it....changes her hair a lot more than boy lewis....extremely in denial lesbian who dates the gayest men imaginable

Yuki: shes a hey mamas lesbian. she flirts so hard with pierre from like eye level with her huge boobs. kind of a fuckboy she swears she'll treat you rightttt come on babyyyy

Daniel: used to be such a hotgirl such a coolgirl like in her younger days she had long long hair and dressed sexy and was all about pushing this like....im a hot girl but im also so cool and just like the boys 😜 (she was overcompensating for something) but after she leaves redbull she like cuts off all her hair and slowly starts mascing the fuck out as she gets older.....now shes just straight up soft butch and everyone knows she kisses girls

Max: grew up forced to have the worst bowlcut in the world and never got to be very girly or anything so when she grew up she finally let her hair grow long and never cuts it. has barely any personal style and still cannot walk in heels tho.

Checo: arguably the one who cleans up the best like shes the one with the makeover montage everyone is so used to seeing her in red bull gear and a ponytail every damn day the second she puts on an outfit everyones like HELLO?????

Valtteri: used to be permanently in the low pony tail and attempting to dress acceptably business casual woman enough for things but after she left merc just embraced being a butch. has the same mullet as guy val. hallelujah

Guanyu: suuuuuch a fashion girl and absolutely rules instagram and weibo..........always doing photoshoots and stuff. experiments with cute hairstyles a lot, but always keeps her bangs ☝️

Alex: used to be super plain like wore big hoodies and just left her hair long and straight and hanging there until one day she got the chop+undercut going on.......now shes well aware shes everyones ideal boyfriend if he were a girlfriend.

Logan: my florida girl......my natural blonde with her little ponytail.....when she was growing up her parents definitely put her shirts like this

Lando: she is a racing driver as much as she is an influencer.............people discourse about if shes fanservicing like every 2 seconds. girl gamer and proud.

Oscar: she lives in gym clothes. nike pros or leggings every day with the most boring shirt. never does her hair or wears makeup

KMag: best mom everrrrrrr 🫶

Nico: she talks openly about how men are very intimidated by her. she is indeed kind of scary.

[tjodity]

dsmp lesbian analysis post

this was based on a misreading of a different post so now im rating how lesbian dsmp characters are. no real criteria just going off of vibes from a lesbian. based vaguely on how lesbian they are and how much they might identify as lesbian

C!Phil- (4/10)-he has a wife so thats something. he's kinda forgone most identities by this point he just does what he wants

C!Tubbo-(1/10)-im sorry thats just some binary gay transmasc guy. he may have briefly been a lesbian in his early teens so he had an extremely on the spot explanation for schlatt abt dressing masc but he likes men (a lot) so he never really had any attachment to the label

C!Ranboo-(3/10)-they arent really interested in women but he's got a lesbian gender thing goin on. guy with a weird relationship to femininity

C!Dream-(2/10)-she actually is a lesbian but no ones told her that yet and she's probably not gonna figure it out on her own. mamacita was an egg cracking experience

C!George-(0/10)-im sorry i dont see it

C!Niki-(10/10)- trans curious bisexual woman who wears a trench coat and has ratty dyed pink hair and knows how to tie a lot of different kinds of knots and not for boat reasons. she's having a full boar gender and sexuality crisis starting during the election. dyke as a gender identifier probably wouldn't occur to her but she'd like it a lot. she'd also like the old flag with the axe

C!Sam-(2/10)-not really a lesbian at all but if puffy squints hard enough while theyre making out sad style she can act like he's a cute butch

C!Fundy-(3/10)-he doesnt really call himself a lesbian but whenever he has a crush on a woman he in his head says he's being gay for her. accidentally postponed niki's sexuality crisis by transitioning to a guy

C!Punz-(10/10)-look at him. look at him. butch lesbian who kinda acts like a dog for the girl she's obsessed with. religious horror toxic devotion yuri buff lady general tragedy we got it all. also tommyinnit certified look

C!Hbomb-(3/10)-she's mostly straight but a lot of her admiration of other women and learning to do femininity in a way she likes kinda aligns her with lesbians. she believes in their beliefs

C!Sapnap-(??/10)-kinda in a quantum state of lesbianism for me. could go either way honestly. if her fiances want her to be a girl she can be

C!Karl-(9/10)-karl set off everyone's lesbian radar they didn't know they had which was really confusing cause it presented like a gay cis guy for a long while. tubbo just happens to ask her abt gender once on a whim n she's like oh no im a girl thing :3 and everyone else freaks out cause it was just not correcting them. it likes flamboyant masc fashion and being confusing

C!Quackity-(10/10)-watch the quackhalo date stream if you haven't yet i'm begging you. bigender transfem girlguy guygirl who wants to be someone's girlfriend and have a girlfriend or multiple or many. she's running the full gambit of presentation in a bunch of combos

C!Badboyhalo-(5/10)-Quackity brings out the lesbian in her (she's a closeted transfem lady and it makes her very flustered when she realizes q's calling her his girlfriend.) the bigboobies in bigboobyhalo are the result of lots and lots of estrogen

C!Wilbur-(0/10) he doesnt know lesbians are real

C!Puffy-(7/10)-the best way i can describe puffy's gender is that she is earnestly trying to be as confusing contradictory and horny as possible and it's working. she's a lesbian but only when she's a guy or just extremely down bad for some lady and if you called her a dyke she'd moan

C!Slimecicle-(7/10)-lesbian as a gender thing. he doesn't like using typical words to describe his gender but lesbian is the closest to standard it'll go

C!Hannah-(10/10)-she likes women. A LOT. and also worked hard to become one. just a lot about women going on in her life

C!Schlatt-(???/10)-he's got some shit to sort through n maybe that'll be a realization he makes down the road

C!Foolish-(2/10)-if you tried hard enough you could make him one

C!Tina-(10/10)-many of her actions are motivated by the need to kiss a girl with teeth

C!Eret-(8/10)-strong yuriful vibes

C!Tommyinnit-(9/10)-they are fucking ATTACHED to that label you can pry it from their cold dead hands. she also likes boys n is more platoniromantic than anything but. lesbian critter right there it's important to her

C!Aimsey-(-1000/10)-killed your wife idiot

[cowboyjen68]

Hi Jen, sorry for dumping a big rant in your askbox but your blog has helped me figure out my identity and I don’t have anyone to talk to about this in real life lol. Feel free to delete if this is too weird.

So I’m a 17 y/o butch, and I have been masculine since I was a little kid. I always felt lucky to have a family that was generally okay with my gender nonconformity. They treated it like a cute quirk of mine, and I never felt like I was being judged or that I should change the way I am around them. My dad got a kick out of it. One summer he let me help him build the deck in our backyard. He always took me to baseball games, he dressed me up in his old clothes, basically treated me like I was his son and I loved it.

I feel like as I get older, my masculinity becomes less acceptable. I went to visit my paternal grandmother for the holidays, hadn’t seen her in a few years, and the first thing she said to me was “I thought you would’ve grown out of all that by now” (in reference to my haircut and outfit, I think.) I just don’t know how to react to the way my extended family treats me now. They used to be totally fine with it, but I spent my entire Christmas feeling like I was being judged for every little thing.

Like, what’s changed? Why is it cute and funny when a little girl wears boy’s clothes and wrestles with her cousins, but disgusting when I grow up and settle into my masculinity?

It’s like I’ve crossed the invisible line between being a tomboy and being a dyke, and now no one wants to entertain it anymore.

Again, sorry for the rant haha, I just feel like I’m going crazy because I tried to talk to my sister about it and she said she didn’t notice them acting any different, but I swear my aunt spent half of our Christmas dinner telling me how pretty I would be if I just wore a bit of makeup lmaoo. I’m just wondering if anyone else has experienced this, because I’m feeling pretty lost right now. Thanks, and happy holidays!

It is not weird at all. I hear that young lesbians, particularly butches, do not have older role models to bounce ideas off of or vent or get any perspective on certain experiences. Moms and Dads and straight sisters and cousins, no matter how well meaning, will just not always "get" what is happening. They say things like "we love you no matter what" and "we don't care if you are a lesbian" and they mean it, mostly. But they often don't see the subtle clues (or blatant ones)they toss around that indicates how uncomfortable they are with you being so visible, but just existing as you naturally are.

AND OH MY GOSH yes I have experienced exactly what you are talking about with the deepening judgement as you move from a cute little Tomboy to an adult butch women. It is almost like they hope to "catch it early" when we are in our teens and redirect us away from the "danger" of being a visible lesbian. And a woman who does not, in very overt ways, conform to their idea of how a woman should be and act.

My dad was relatively consistent in treating me pretty much like he would a son and, to his credit, he did so with my straight sister. We were allowed to do just about anything my older brothers did. In part because my sister was pretty strong willed but also a lot like him. I was less strong willed but she had mowed the path.

Mom was the one who was forever concerned about my looks and behavior, both out of worry I would not fit in, and because she had a certain expectation of how her daughter should grow up. Both normal Mom reactions. She understood bullies and knew that sticking out could be difficult. Her solution was not to strengthen my resilience but to attempt to "tone me down". Her efforts increased as I made the jump from kid to teen and into my late teens. She would discourage me from cutting my hair, becoming almost angry when I brought it up. She would tell me how lovely I was in dresses and skirts and say thing like " a little make up would be nice". It got really old. It lead to us not always getting along even though I loved and respected my mom. She was a great mom. But this one thing made us both crazy. She could not cool it and I could not change who I was.

Friends at school saw hints of my liking girls. I stopped wearing cowboy boots and my favorite horse buckle and it their place went with K Mart Tennis shoes and a generic belt that came with my pants, again, from Kmart. I put away the cowboy fringed shirts and flannel and went with simple jeans and sweatshirts, the acceptable attire for boys and girls in my rural high school. I kept my hair long to disguise my "looking like a boy" traits.

I (barf) agreed to date a boy and spent the better part of that time making excuses to not kiss him or spent time with him. I was starting to listen to mom and do my best to hide ME from the world. Anything (with in reason) to throw the world off the scent, the scent of me being a lesbian. Being butch made that one more step difficult.

It is hard to hide the space we take up naturally.

It might seem hard to see it now by your family is slightly well intentioned, knowing that being "seen" easily as a lesbian can be dangerous. But also, they are uncomfortable with your energy and physical presence because it does not coincide with their ideas of what a woman acts, feels and moves like. This is a THEM problem and I can give you words of comfort based on experience.

The more you begin to be you, and dress in what gives you comfort the more your confidence will grow and be evident. People who are emboldened to try and change you for their own comfort tend to back way off when there is no opening for their opinions. They just sort of realize they are wasting time. AND for those that don't, there are always a few, you don't have to give them any air or acknowledgement. You get to let them waste time and energy while you look great in whatever you wish to wear and however you wish to cut your hair. And in a wonderful turn around, you don't have to spend any effort just being you or trying to defend or correct them.

You are fast approaching adulthood and with that will come even more freedom and independence. Don't rush it but also, work towards that.

[maddsmallow]

" "con, don't you ever fuckin' relax?"

"lieutenant, i'm a machine. i don't need to 'relax'."

"oh fuck you, come on, we're on break. loosen up a little or something. you can chill out from your fuckin' mission for the three minutes it'll take me to smoke this cigarette. and shut your mouth before you go telling me it isn't actually exactly three minutes on average to smoke a cigarette or whatever."

connie closes her mouth. a small addition to her list of missions to accomplish is made: try to appear "relaxed" to appease lieutenant anderson. a raise in friendship means an easier partner to work with, so connie carefully inspects the lieutenant's posture and does her best to replicate it. being a machine of plastic and metal certainly doesn't make it easy. "

hankcon, but gorls. did i base hank off of my butch lesbian manager at my old job at a sex toy store who was covered in spongebob tattoos? absolutely yes i did

mostly i just wanted to portray fem!hank as a Large Woman because i think there is a severe lack of that. broad with muscle hidden under fat, like the kind of woman who does shot put. so uh,,, ms trunchbull basically LMAO. deep voice, raspy from smoking and drinking, all that good stuff 😩👌 also peep the button on her jacket hehe

got some headcanons and stories for them under the cut!

-hank wears cargo shorts 100% of the time. no matter the weather or temperature. like, 'bill and ted at prom in shorts, but it's her at a dpd ceremony in cargo shorts' level. but not actually because i'm totally gonna draw her in a pantsuit later, totally not with connie on her hip in a slinky dress 👀

-also yes hank's shirt is a spongebob reference

-when people ask hank why she goes by hank and not her "real name," (which i like to headcanon is "henrietta") she always says, "oh it's actually a really funny story, i'll tell you later," and the later never comes lmao. or, if she does tell you, it's some made up wacky story that actually has nothing to do with giving herself the name hank. the real reason? she just likes it

-speaking of "henrietta," this story, 'if you know where to look' by ghost_teeth, works so fucking well with a lot of my headcanons about how their characters would be like genderbent! highly recommend it, and all their dbh stories honestly!

-connie has a compact gun (i asked my brother for examples and he said sig p365 or springfield hellcat, which i think work perfectly for this) holstered inside her jacket on the left side. also, i'm stealing this idea from this post (which basically almost has the same design for fem!connor (altho like, most designs for her are basically the same lmao)) but she also has a knife strapped to her thigh

-her skirt is actually made of some super high tech flexible and durable material, and she's got specific programming to make her balance crazy good, since she'll be running in heels. she's made to hunt and pursue deviants so obviously she needs to be able to run and jump. the outfit is only made to appear like a standard "business woman" to blend in with the humans she would be required to work with, but otherwise gives her everything/doesn't hold her back from doing what she needs to complete her mission. here's a bonus conversation i had with @extraordinaryandroid about it lmaoo:

-hank met connor-51 first for the ortiz case, but connie-52 (with 51's memories of course) came in the next day when it was announced they were to be officially paired to investigate deviants. cyberlife has their grubby lil hands in everything so of course they knew their RK800 unit would be paired with this lieutenant anderson before basically anyone else, and deemed that she'd get along better with a "female model" that she would find attractive. which of course has hank like WOW that's super weird and gross of y'all! and i fucking hate that it's working you pieces of shit at cyberlife !!!! but ofc connie's like "im a machine i dont even have a gender" all the while hank's sweatin major thirsty bullets

-at the cyberlife tower, connor-51 is the one to hold hank at gunpoint. how did he get hank to trust him? idk i haven't figured that out yet lmao, but the angst of connor-51 essentially taking the place of -60 from the game in the sense that he's clearly deviant in some capacity, in this context being that he feels connie stole the life he deserved (which he'd never admit) and now wants to suck up to cyberlife and be their best boi to feel important and special again and not knowing they'd just throw him away for the RK900 model, is very good imo. that was a very long sentence so i hope it made sense lmaoo. have i worked out all the details of how all that shit would work in a story? absolutely not, im too busy thinking about butch fem!hank making her robo girlfriend bluescreen in the bedroom 🤪

also if ur wondering wtf the background is, idk. my usual plain color gradient was too simple, but i did NOT want to put in the effort to do a whole ass real background, so i settled on something in between. meh, it's just them hagin' out behind the station on a smoke break ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

consider supporting me on ☕! ko -fi. com / maddsmallow (without spaces)

[yandere-fics]

♡ How They Affirm Their Transfem Darling's Gender ♡

(I got this request in the dms, they aren't the best at it but my ocs are really trying, they're just all really stupid and all have their own ideas of what would be helpful, their intentions really are in the best place though! Anyways I hope this is what you wanted.)

♡ Despite Miriel being trans herself she really doesn't know much about what to do for a human, she takes special estrogen that was provided by the elves but she's unsure if that's even safe for you to take or if you even want to take her elf estrogen, she will be consulting the elders back home though because she really never checked if her elf estrogen is safe for human consumption or if it'll start elfing you, obviously even if you can't take it though she has enough money to pay for whatever you need or want to get done. Be warned that any notion of personal style is thrown out with her regardless of gender and if you want to wear clothes that fit your own style instead of the clothes Miriel is likely to dress her darling in, you will have to convince her. Also Miriel lacks ANY tact at all, if you haven;t come out or realized you're trans yet she'll realize it for you, since she was young she knew her mate would be a girl/fem leaning even if she didn't know many other details and she will come up to you and proclaim you are trans, she knows it. ♡

♡ Eliza shockingly has more tact that Miriel when it comes to this, she may be stupid but even she knows that such comments might be too pushy at first, once you do come out to her though then she's going to be a bit obnoxious with how hard she's trying, opening doors, carrying all your bags, she can't let her precious girlfriend do all that stuff, it's a bit infantilizing but she really wants to make you feel like she is your big strong wolf who will do everything you need and you can just be her petite girlfriend while she's your big butch wolf, though she doesn't really mind how you want to present, if you like to dress more masc she's not going to mind, just know she is always going to treat you like her little puppy. She has a very good care package working for the boss too so anything you want to get done will happen, just be warned you will have to sedate her during your surgeries otherwise she's going to be in the room growling at the doctors that they better not fuck up and making them all really nervous. Btw being trans is not going to stop her from getting you pregnant so do not think you're safe, she will find a way. ♡

♡ Selene has a harder time affirming your gender mostly because she lives out in the middle of nowhere wolf territory and so she'd need to take you to the city for any clothes or new things you need to get or want done, she'll act all moody about being in the city until she sees your happy face, though do expect her to ask for lots of affection for this, she won't ask for dick sucking, she'd feel bad asking for that in exchange for something this important, she is thinking it, she is willing to go to the city for you as many times as you need, though if you keep going for clothes, expect a "damn woman how many clothes do you need?", she's not seriously bothered though, she'll do it as many times as you want, eventually you may want to online shop or ask the temple dedicated to her mate to get you stuff from the city so you don't exhaust poor homebody Selene. Eventually she'll get so used to it that she'll be sad if you don't ask her to go to the city for new clothes or whatever it is you want at least once a year. ♡

♡ Likely the best of the bunch, she knows this is a very important thing and she'll be slow and patient with it, going at your pace and only pushing you when she knows you need a little bit of a push and courage to take the next step, she can also control herself in hospitals even though she's raging inside about them potential injuring you, still she manages to get through everything without you freaking out and she's amazing at aftercare, she memorized everything the surgeon said perfectly, though it can get a bit annoying when she's correcting you on what the surgeons said and making sure you do everything down to the letter. She's also in a very great place to be able to take care of your every want and desire, she's close to the boss and has priority on things, isn't afraid of being more in debt to the boss if it gives her more power to help her mate, and beyond that even without help she makes a lot of money and has a lot of time she is able to take off so she'd be able to spend entire weeks with you changing your wardrobe if that's what you want, it also affirms her cause she gets to be your big strong butch lesbian mate. ♡

♡ Much like the elves, angels have developed their own HRT, just be warned if this is the route you're going on, you're going to be so sleepy and you'll notice every part of you suddenly feels soft, squishy, and very cuddly, congrats, you have just become an optimal angel nap partner, you're not actually an angel but you will notice you act more meek towards her so if you don't want to have to listen to her and be tired very often this is not for you, she won't really understand if you don't want angel estrogen but she'll allow it. She's very scary in the operating room, no one can sedate her and every doctor in there is praying to escape with their life. If anyone even messes up a pronoun once, you'll have to convince her not to disintegrate them or don't honestly they really should be more careful in the city, they were begging to be killed by a supernatural one day. ♡

♡ Runa is a massive pervert and so she thinks the best way to affirm is to be so sexual and make it clear she thinks of you as a really really hot girl, making sure you know just how much she wants to fuck is her way of trying to be helpful even if it isn't the most helpful, she'll also force you to put on a million different cosplays and take pictures while giggling and being like "my adorable cat girlfriend!". Also she does not care about what you have going on, you're going to sit on her face because how could she have a girlfriend who has never sat on her face, if you don't have the right parts for it, you'd better get used to ass eating real fast, she's going to do it. If you want surgeries or new clothes she'll have to kidnap a doctor and have it done in her apartment, there are programs for cheap or free surgery in the city but she really just can't have you taken from her so it'll have to happen in her apartment, she'll steal HRT too even though that's free and easy to get ahold of in the city, any clothes will get purchased online, don't worry she'll take your measurements very thoroughly. ♡

♡ Nora actually is pretty confident about this for once, she has no reason to fear messing up because why would she? You're her reason for living and that's all that matters. She also has the method of making you feel petite next to her and I mean she's so fucking tall, she's very solid, and very strong so how can you not feel dainty next to her, unless you're somehow taller, if you don't like that method she will change it though, she just wants to do what will make you happy, even if that means pretending to be a bit more submissive and calling you mommy, she'll do it even if she really doesn't like it cause affirming your gender expression matters most of all to her. She's in a decent enough spot to get you what you need and though she hates having to interact with Sawyer, she will for this, she'll barely sleep too, she'll spend all her days getting a new wardrobe with you and then at night she'll do all her work. She has to be sedated for your surgeries so she doesn't have a anxiety attack. ♡

♡ Sawyer can just nap her finger and make what you want to happen, happen and she has an infinite amount of resources at her command for you so buy whatever you want honey, seriously buy it because it's how she shows love, she'll be sad if you don't buy a whole new wardrobe, she needs to adorn you with her cash. You'll also have to forgive her after she transforms you because she'll have to sit down and hide her boner, just using her powers on you so intimately and seeing your smile made her really turned on, she didn't mean to and she feels a bit ashamed that she got turned on even when it shouldn't have been sexual, just give her a bit to cool down then she'll be happy to take you out on a date so you can finally enjoy this new body you have. ♡

[detransition]

from dickevandyke The other day a friend of mine said they hardly even consider me detrans because I "didn't really do anything to detransition". I didn't ask what they meant by that, because they're not really the kind of person I can have that sort of conversation with. I didn't want to have to explain to them why I detransitioned. I didn't want to have to justify finally feeling okay with myself after spending my teenage years being miserable and stressed about being trans.

It's kind of a fascinating mindset, though. I think it gives really wonderful insight as to how their brain works. Like, I stopped taking testosterone. I stopped asking to be referred to by male pronouns. I "came out" as a woman, and I Came Out as a Lesbian after also spending most of my teenage years trying very hard to repress my attraction to women. This person doesn't view that as doing anything. Why?

I imagine it's because I dress fairly masculine - as Butches generally do. I wear still wear, mostly, "boyish clothes". I didn't start wearing make-up. I didn't let my hair grow out long. I haven't done any voice training, or really made an effort to make my voice higher pitched like it was before. I haven't gotten breast implants. I rarely correct people when they call me "sir". I don't need to do any of those things. A stranger calling me "sir" doesn't mean I am not a woman. Not having breasts anymore doesn't mean that I'm not a woman. The point of my detransition was not to turn myself into a stereotype or to dive head-first into femininity.

The point of my detransition was just that I am finally comfortable with myself, just as I am. That doesn't mean that I love my body, but I am okay with it. I am at peace with who I am.

Do I regret getting a mastectomy? Yes. There was no other reason to remove my breasts, they were perfectly fine, they were small and didn't cause me any back pain, I didn't have any medical issues related to them. Do I regret wearing a binder? Absolutely. It has screwed up my ribs and back so severely that I am probably going to be living with chronic pain for the rest of my life. Do I regret going on HRT? Sometimes, sometimes not. Honestly, it didn't really change much for me outside of my voice and making my body hair slightly thicker. Do I regret social transition? Absolutely. I dug myself into such a deep hole of self loathing and repression that it took me three years to finally crawl out of it. So after going through all of that - after putting myself, my body through all of that, why would I want to do it all over again in the opposite direction, when there is absolutely no need for it?

I "didn't do anything to detransition" because I don't need to do anything to be a woman, I just am one. Woman is my natural state. I "didn't do anything to detransition" because I already put my body through three years of cross-sex hormones, five-ish years of binding, and an unnecessary mastectomy which has left me unable to feel most of my chest more than a year post-op. I don't need more unnecessary surgeries or expensive treatments to make myself into a woman, I never really stopped being one. Getting breast implants wouldn't make me more of a woman because I don't need breasts to be a woman. Voice training to make my voice a higher pitch again won't make me more of a woman because a high pitched voice was never what made me a woman in the first place. Wearing make-up, growing out my hair, wearing "girly" clothes wouldn't make me more of a woman, because femininity does not make a woman.

I didn't argue with them when they said that because, to be honest, I don't want to hear what they think makes a woman. I don't want to hear them trying to justify why they barely consider me detrans because I have not tried to turn myself into a feminine stereotype. It just really struck a chord with me, because if I'm not really detrans to them, am I really a woman to them? Or do they see me as some kind of "failed" woman because despite explicitly and openly accepting my womanhood, I am not their picture of what a woman is suppose to be?

thinking of detransition? you are not alone

[hoardlikegoldenirises]

since i decided i wanted to make Reed a butch lesbian, because not enough butches, i started thinking about Doom, even though this is a Spider-Man AU and Doom probably won't even show up, but, you know, I got carried away by a wave of lesbianism and wanting to draw fancy dresses

(crops below the readmore cause this pic ended up a big sketch dump)

I wanted Doom to be... like....... kind of glamorous but also versatile... it seemed like the right choice since regular doom is himself very vain etc. so i thought she ought to also be vain and gorgeous, and vary the way she dresses between things like tailored three piece suits with long coats, and evening gowns, and of course the armor.

adding the pic again just to refresh—

it was interesting to think about how a female doom might present herself differently, and take influence from various comics and other sources (thinking about the gold mask dr. doom wore in a specific comic for example). The one eye thing just kind of occurred to me while I was drawing and I decided to run with it—one thing was for sure though, i wanted her to be stacked. big tits and big biceps. i figured with her face all fucked up she might still want to draw attention to her impeccable cleavage also so i put some gold glitter on her tits in that velvet gown.

obviously the armor is exactly the same as male doom cause, well, idk if you know this, but large round breastplates fit boobs also.

i think that doom being a lesbian would really make the stuff with valeria's namesake/doom's first love extra crazy though like... god... i'm thinking about it...

anyway a little bit of doomreed, who am i to say no to bitter gay exes—and a college photo of the trio. reed is very tall, and ben and victoria are... well i guess victoria counts as slightly tall and ben counts as average. but next to tall lanky butch reed they both look short. i was trying to channel a very specific kind of "photos of butch lesbians from the 80s and 90s" vibe for Reed with the short broad tie and the high waisted slacks and men's haircut, and i think i got that. ben looks kind of generic but it's like. one of those things. it's jeans and a t-shirt, that shit has looked the same for like 50 years. maybe i should've tucked his shirt into his jeans or something, higher waist... lol

obv posted this pic higher up but i was thinking about clothes and how to differentiate reed from the other menswear-heavy characters (like peter, and octavius) and thinking about some outfits i've seen reed actually wear in comics, and aside from the F4 costume, which i'd imagine reed wears the most often—for regular clothes the kind of slouchy casual, slightly outdated look seemed like it was just the right style... like she probably wears ties sometimes still but mostly only if she's gotta go to something formal, you know?

and as you can see, sue is 5'6"

anyway i knew for sure i wanted Reed to be very masculine, a very specific kind of butch. basically taking reed's handsome DILF/absent-minded professor aura and transposing that onto a lesbian who still calls herself "Mr."

basically she looks exactly the same but with a slight modification to her figure. lmao. she's the kind of butch who gets asked if she's a man or a woman in public a lot. well. not anymore i guess, if the fantastic four are celebrities (though maybe in a weirder more invasive way...)

anyway,

lost in the sauce (butches)

[koreanbibliophilegirl]

Personifications of Dream SMP Factions

Okay so I came up with this idea during my exams. (Exams always do something to my brain lol) I was thinking about Pandora's Vault as a hot butch, then I remembered this fic about L'Manberg personified, plus this fic about personified countries, and it somehow spiraled into this.

(This is all based on personal interpretation & recollection of DSMP lore, please don't come at me for getting things wrong!)

The rest of the post is under the cut:

I gave all the factions it/its pronouns, since they're manifestations of, well, factions. I think they would have other preferred pronouns though, mostly related to the faction's characteristics.

(For instance, Snowchester uses he/him pronouns because Tubbo and Ranboo are so close & act almost like one entity.(I know, I know, c!Ranboo uses they/them pronouns too, but idk I thought this fit...) On the other hand, Manberg uses he/him pronouns because it's a dictatorship and Schlatt operates the country as the sole mastermind behind it all. Pandora's Vault uses she/her pronouns because Pandora deserves to be a butch because while Sam is its warden, Pandora is, at it's core, different from what Sam himself strives to achieve.)

Plus, all factions have an inherent love for its' members/citizens, since any faction is a collective of its people. Except Pandora, bc y'know, she's a literal prison.

Also!!! every name mentioned is c!, not cc!.

-

L'Manberg- (it/they/he/she) Dressed in L'Manberg soldier attire. Looks like a mix of all the L'Manbergians. Hair is auburn, kinda curly, and wears red-and-blue tinted sunglasses. Has fox ears(?), braces, is boisterous and kinda overdramatic. Enjoys growing flowers, beekeeping, and baking. Follows the L'Manbergians around, Wilbur and Tommy the most. Pretty young, but gets older and more serious as the war drags on. Manifested in the drug van.

Pogtopia- (it/he/they/she) L'Manberg's other form. Hair is darker now(more like Wilbur's than a mix of everyone's), has eyebags, sunglasses are gone, and dresses darker. Looks like Wilbur mostly now, but near-exclusively follows Tommy around like he's a lifeline. Is not manic like Wilbur, despite looking a lot like him now, and recognizes how far-gone Wilbur is. It tries very hard to cheer up the rest of the Pogtopia people.

L'Manberg(new)- (it/they/he/she) Dresses in red, blue, yellow, black and white again(not the soldier attire, but the flag design is incorporated into its clothes), is scarred all over and sadder. Hair is blond now. Tried to follow Tommy to exile but Tubbo stopped it. Cries every day & grows weaker.

L'Manberg(post-doomsday)- (it/they/he/she) A ghost. Invisible to most now, new members of the SMP can't see it unless they're told about L'Manberg. And even then, it's very hard to see or recognize them. Tommy sees him clearly though, and she still follows Tommy everywhere. Even more scarred and wounded now. Sad and quiet.

Manberg- (it/he) Wears a suit, has ram horns, and face is completely featureless, no eyes or nose or mouth. Has dark, slicked back hair. Follows Schlatt around silently. Usually follows Schlatt's orders without complaint, but absolutely refuses to hurt anyone, even at the expense of being hurt itself by Schlatt. Tried to stop Tubbo's execution and ended up being blown up as well. Didn't die(since Manberg was still intact) but his featureless face gained a huge scar like Tubbo's. This scar stayed even after Tubbo went to Pogtopia. Exact age is difficult to determine, but is physically quite small.

the Butcher Army- (it/they) Dresses in black clothes with the Butcher Army standard bloody apron. Face is shaded and unremarkable, just one face in a crowd. Doesn't speak much, and when they do, it's just general Butcher Army stuff like how they're trying to bring Technoblade to justice, or whatever. Doesn't seem to have much personality.

Snowchester- (it/he) Young, younger than L'Manberg was. Looks a little like it too. Has snowy gray hair(a mix of Ranboo's black and white), goat horns like Tubbo, and is missing an eye like Michael. The other eye is wintery green. Dresses in snow clothes, a black-and-white bomber jacket and a pale green-blue dress shirt with a tie underneath. Is quiet, has a shy smile like Ranboo, and is generally quite innocent like Michael. He likes pranks and chaos too though, like Tubbo. It's a peaceful little thing, but if you somehow get him angry its eye will turn purple and his body will start giving off a pale, eery green glow like radioactivity.

Kinoko Kingdom- (it/she) Looks like her namesake, Komori Kinoko from My Hero Academia. (Specifically, Komori's powered-up version with the chubbier cheeks and visible eyes, not her normal, emo version.) Wears light flowy clothes in earthy colors, soft purples and blues and ruddy browns and greens. Loves taking naps in the sunshine, reading old books, and exploring the Kingdom. Tiny mushrooms sprout wherever it walks, which is usually just inside the borders of the Kingdom. She never really goes far beyond that. Also likes training & sparring, though it tends to be relaxed about it, treating it more as a sport than anything else. She's usually sweet and kind, but also a tad chaotic. Bit forgetful. Looks somewhere in its twenties.

Las Nevadas- (it/he) Also looks somewhere in its twenties, though it looks a bit younger than Kinoko. Gelled-back jet-black hair, classy dark green beanie(beanie like Q, green like Slime, dark bc Classy™️). Dress shirt, tie, suspenders. Lots of gold accessories. Has a few purple freckles on its face, and orange highlights in his hair. Maybe green creeper markings? Give the boi some neon splashes. Acts slick and confident(and kinda manipulative) like a businessman with outsiders, but is super nice and sorta anxious when he's only with his members. Cares way too much about its citizens, even though it knows Purpled doesn't like him. Low self-esteem. Usually follows Quackity. Q flaunts its existence to people & is genuinely very proud of his country, but is also slightly unnerved by his knowledge of Nevadas's real personality. He knows personified factions reflect its people and the ideals it stands for, but he isn't entirely sure what Nevadas's nervous, slightly obsessive disposition is implying. Also, Nevadas has a crush on Kinoko. Kinoko is a bit confused, but thinks Nevadas is cute, so she might as well go along with it. Nevadas puts on a suave & slick act with Kinoko, though Kinoko can see right through it. She thinks he's sweet and silly, and also maybe a little lonely. Q doesn't approve of them flirting so much, and tells Nevadas to stop visiting Kinoko all the time. Not that Nevadas listens.

the Eggpire- (it/they/he/w̴͚̮͒̇̓e̴̺̬͉̅̋) Demon with red skin, white glowing eyes, two huge horns of red diamond sprouting from its head, and flowing robes. Has a missing arm, torn-up fairy wings, a red gold medallion, and a cat tail. Looks like a child, but you can tell it only looks like one. Unnerving smile with sharp predatory teeth(also red), sweet & melodious voice, silver-tongued and manipulative. Upon closer inspection, you can see that their entire body, clothes and all, is made of writhing, pulsing red vines.

the Syndicate- (it/she/they) Nicknamed Syndi by her members. Electric pink hair with a black-and-white half-and-half streak, tied in a short, tiny braid down one shoulder. Large black angel wings and enderman horns(one black, one white). Wears fingerless gloves, the opposite color of the horn on that side. Blood-red eyes. Anarchist, obviously. Snarky and deadpan, but smiles a lot too, and is generally quite a warm and kind person. Is nimble & fast on their feet, and is a quick thinker. A wise scholar and fearsome warrior, a sharp-eyed strategist. Enjoys reading, baking, and dancing with its members. Looks like a young adult. +Also, I haven't decided whether the faction personification thing is a general occurrence or strictly a DSMP thing, but if it's a general thing, Syndi is best friends(and possibly in a QPR) with the Antarctic Empire(it/he, fully-grown adult, nicknamed Antares, AE emperor attire, blue-and-white bucket hat with a wider brim than Phil's, thin and pointy white gold crown, snowy-white longish hair with ice-blue eyes, one emerald earring, giant white wings and piglin hooves, loves the thrill of battle, enjoys reading & woodcarving, makes lots of deadpan jokes, would like to just retire already please and thank you).

Pandora's Vault- (it/she) Ah yes, the one who started this whole ordeal. Despite me imagining Pandora as a hot butch at the start, I changed Pandora to be a teenager! Albeit a butch & pretty teenager. Looks like a creeper mostly, like Awesamdude, but her torso is made of crisscrossing obsidian bars that resemble a prison or a really messed up ribcage. Usually wears enchanted golden armor on top of it though. Has long hair that looks like dark curling smoke with lava-like streaks running through it, and a gold head guard that kinda looks like a tiara. Has a gold gas mask too. Stickler for the rules, as expected of it, and scarily efficient with weaponry. She seems stoic and fierce on the outside, all rigid ideals and indifferent cruelty, but it's actually really desperate for peace and order. Would go to extreme lengths to enforce order. Dislikes Dream and Technoblade. Also doesn't like Ponk. While Sam feels guilty about what he did to Ponk, Pandora is quite vocal about her opinion that Ponk had it coming to them. Is uncomfortable with opening the prison cell for Quackity, but thinks it's for the greater good that he gets the Revive Book away from Dream. Not many hobbies, it spends most of its free time patrolling/guarding the Vault. She does like inventing though, usually things to improve the efficiency of the prison. Sam was surprised when she appeared, since he didn't think Pandora counted as a faction. He still treats it like a daughter though. She's daddy's little girl.

Greater Dream SMP- (it/they/he) A child. Really. It looked like Dream at first(at least, people assumed that was what Dream looked like behind the mask), with straw-blond hair, bright green eyes, and pale freckles. It gained new features every time a new person joined the server. When they grew up, they grew up suddenly, aging in shocking speed during the L'Manberg War. He settled as a sad, serious adult with a haunted look in his eyes. It stopped following Dream after he went further and further off the deep end, choosing to wander the land instead- keeping well away from L'Manberg(and later, other countries) of course. Slowly loses the features they got from people who abandoned the Greater Dream SMP to create their own country/faction. Eventually people stop seeing him and think he's disappeared, but he's still there, just lurking. It looks unremarkable now, with next to no distinctive features. They hang out with Eret in her palace and museum(they love the museum), visits multiple factionless members of the SMP, and greets/sends off Aimsey on their little pit stop in the server. When the server loops & resets, he resets alongside with it, and returns to his original form. It kept all it's memories, but it never says anything, choosing instead to give its people a fresh start, with a blank slate.

-

I probably missed a few factions, but this is all I could think of haha.

Also I accidentally posted this as a draft a few days ago, panicked, and privated the post in record time. This is a repost😅

[dresshistorynerd]

There is no way to say it pleasantly. Your recent post about Julie... its speculation is a slap in the face of masculine women. Dressing in men's clothing is not a statement against being female, especially in times when male clothes were far more practical than women's. (And especially in the case of a bisexual or homosexual woman!) Behaving "unwomanly" is evidence only in the eyes of sexists. But even today... it is stunning to think that a woman, should her every thought not be recorded, could be deemed a secret man for being masculine! That lingering speculation, despite absence of proof, is rather insulting.

Your reading of my post is extremely dishonest or you didn't actually read the post. The whole time I talk about her as a sapphic woman, because that is what the evidence most point towards. If you think even raising the possibility that she might have been somewhere in the genderqueer or trans spectrum (like some butch lesbians identify as genderqueer and/or trans too), is an insult and means I'm sexist or some shit, there's no way to say it pleasantly, you're probably just a fucking terf.

Now I have no illusions that correcting some of the inaccurate things you said will do anything to change your mind, but because we're already here and I'm allergic to these bad fashion history takes, I'll correct them anyways. This is more for anyone else who happens to see this and actually has some level of reading comprehension.

The women's dress at the time was not necessarily any more impractical than the men's dress. The impractical part of high society women's dress was the skirt that usually had a large trail. But they would also have much more practical dresses for casual usage. High society men wore large wigs that were I would assume pretty impractical. Their clothing, which was well fitted around the torso, closed with buttons and then not very easily adjustable. On the other hand the women's dress was either loose and pinned and belted to fit (in the case of mantua) or laced (in the case of rigid gown) so very easily adjustable even during the day to keep it comfortably fitted to the changes in the body. This would be more practical for anyone, but especially to most afab people, whose bodies can change quite drastically thorough the month.

My point is actually no Julie de Maupin did not have any practical reason to dress in men's clothing. In fact it was impractical for her. As I point out in the post she struggled with the leading female roles, which she wanted to get, partly because her off-stage personality clashed so much with them. (At first) she didn't get as much recognition of performances in leading roles as in supportive roles, partly because the audiences had trouble buying her performances in those roles.

And the other point. The modern concept of fashion doesn't entirely apply to the past. Now fashion is seen as self-expression. Even being into fashion is seen as an indication of certain personality. This was not the case in the time when Julie was alive. Back then fashion was much more social decorum. To be able to participate in the high society you had to keep up with fashion. There were people who were more fashionable than others, sure but they were mostly just the richest young people around, and that made them most fashionable. Fashion was not for self-expression, it was mostly for expression of hierarchy. It was also for political expression. (There's an interesting paper on the contemporary commentary of the politics of the court fashions, which I will link here, when I'm on my desktop.) It was not about what you wanted to wear, but what you wanted others to think about you.

In addition to that at the time clothing was integral part of gender (arguably still is judging from all the conservatives loosing their minds when a man dares to wear a dress). Women in breeches and men in skirts were seen as transgressing on gender. This can be seen even in the mid 1600s conservative reaction to when women's riding habit first appeared (they never change do they?). They complained that the women were basically indistinguishable from young pretty men and like the women were even wearing skirts (seen below)? Part of this was that both the women and men were shaping their silhouettes with their clothing to gain the fashionable feminine and masculine silhouettes, which meant that different shaped bodies could still achieve either silhouette.

Looking through this lens we can ask, why did Julie wanted to be seen as transgressing on gender even though it hindered her career? I think there could be many answers to this question and one could be that she wanted to be seen as not-woman (or maybe not entirely woman). We can never know, because we don't have any of her thoughts about her androgynous expression surviving to this day.

[deconstructthesoup]

Since I've seen a lot of people do it, here's my sexuality, gender, and gender presentation headcanons for the Voices and Vessels:

Voices

Hero: Bisexual, he/him, cis but is probably a little bit gnc---he's trying on earrings, he's started to paint his nails and wear makeup, maybe he'll buy a skirt soon. He seems like a guy who's only recently come out of the closet and is a bit nervous about doing things right.

Contrarian: Gay, he/they, demiboy and hella gnc... in the sense that none of their outfits make any cohesive sense, and are an absolute mess of patterns and styles. His little-shit energy extends to his gender expression.

Cheated: Pansexual, he/him, trans. He's a simple jeans-and-t-shirts kinda guy, though I think he'd also wear leather jackets purely for the extra protection.

Stubborn: Gay, he/him, cis. Maybe "bear" isn't quite the right word, but he definitely comes from the Elliot Spencer school of masculinity. Big buff guy with long hair who can and will kick the shit out of you but is also a protective soul.

Broken: Bisexual, he/him... questioning his gender, but he doesn't focus much on it. He's in the "I only wear sweatpants and hoodies because I have no energy to do anything else" stage.

Cold: Gay, he/him, definitely genderqueer and only really uses "he" because it's easier. Google "mall goth" and you get a picture of him.

Paranoid: Aroace, he/they, trans. He's always dressed weirdly nice for the occasion, though it's mostly so he can stim with a tie or cuff links. They're a fancy little dude.

Opportunist: Pansexual, they/them, non-binary. They're a little more alternative-leaning---toeing the line of being punk while not actually committing hard enough to it---but they do lean into the masc side of things more often than not. It's the only reason why they wear a pronoun pin.

Hunted: Queer, he/it, unlabeled. He has better things to do than worry about his gender or sexuality. It just wears whatever it finds in its closet on any given day.

Skeptic: Biromantic demisexual, he/him, cis. He dresses like a noir detective---button-up shirt, suspenders, slacks, maybe a trenchcoat when it's not too hot out. Also, he absolutely wears glasses.

Smitten: Pansexual, they/them, non-binary but only recently out. They always dress like they're on their way to a Ren Faire, and they like to mix up femme and masc styles. Always with a prop sword, though.

Vessels

Damsel: Bisexual, she/her, cis. She absolutely dresses in a fairytale-dream style---puffy, flowing dresses, flower crowns, ect.

Prisoner: Panromantic demisexual, she/her, cis. I picture her with a more academic style, either in pantsuits or just fancy blazers with a comfortable skirt. She wears glasses, too.

Nightmare: Aromantic bisexual, she/her, cis. The gothiest goth to ever goth. She scares children and grown adults with her creepy makeup.

Spectre: Queer, she/her, trans. She's also goth, but more of a whimsigoth type, and I think she's also got a lot of general witchy vibes to her. Also, I always picture her with dyed lavender hair for some reason.

Beast: Queer, she/it, unlabeled. Again, better things to do than figure out what the hell her sexuality and gender is. It's a cat and it's here to either eat, sleep, or play with its food.

Witch: Lesbian, she/they, demigirl. Weirdly enough, I kind of picture her having my own personal style---lots of flannels, graphic tees, jeans and converse. Maybe there's a little bit of whimsy in there when she wants to make an effort, but usually not.

Tower: Pansexual, she/her, cis. Depending on what genre she's in, she either dresses like a badass lady knight or a high-powered exec. General girlboss vibes.

Adversary: Lesbian, she/her, cis. Hardcore butch. In every way possible.

Razor: Lesbian, she/her, trans. Because I can't resist the pun, she's a total metalhead---lots of chains, lots of studded clothing, lots of piercings, lots of buckles, the whole nine yards. Yes, you can stick magnets to her.

Stranger: Queer, any and all but prefers they/them, genderfluid and intersex. I like to think that they have different "fashion modes" depending on how they feel on different days---sweatpants and a hoodie for when they're feeling down, an alternative vibe for when they want to feel scary, a masculine vibe for when they want to feel confident, a feminine vibe for when they want to feel pretty, and a crazy-patterns-all-rainbow vibe for when they just want to be weird. They're fun.

[psi-spectacular]

THE INTERNS, RANKED BY HOW GOOD THEIR RELATIONSHIP WITH THEIR PARENTS ARE (Based on my hcs)

CW for mentioned emotional abuse and neglect

Morris - Despite being an orphan, has the best relationship out of everyone with his adoptive parents. He has two moms and they're butch lesbian rockabilly peruvians. Nuff said.

Gisu - Fatherless behavior. She's being raised by her mom and grandparents who pretty much let her do whatever she wants out of some unspecified guilt they never seem to want to talk to her about. But they're chill enough and she really can't complain, though sometimes she feels like they're avoiding her on purpose..

Adam - Suprisingly? Not the worst out of the interns. Still not good. I've said this before, He's got a lot of siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, ect, ect. Big extended family, Mostly on the very successful and gifted side. And he's... neither of those. His biggest achievements are being Truman's intern and that time he reached the quarterfinals of the county debate tournament. He's surrounded by ivy bound prodigies and musical geniuses and he's just... some history buff. He fades into the background noise, and feels like he's failing his parents. His father in specific.

Sam - It started out fine, but then Dogen accidentally blew up a bullies head. Then she was left alone for hours at a time when they were going to hospitals and lawyers and wherever else. She spent most of her days in the companionship of animals, almost always got up whenever Dogen was hungry or sick or had a nightmare, just to feed him and make sure he was okay. They basically treated her like a third adult when she was like 10, venting to her and letting her do most of the chores in the house when they were away, and they never really left her with a babysitter because she's "so mature for her age". It's left her with a very dysfunctional view of relationships and uses the animals as a way to feel like she has some control over her life and that she isn't a servant, she can lead too.

Norma - Her and lizzie's mom is preeetty sucky and pretty much parades her around as a way to say "Look! I'm not a transphobe! I let my trans daughter wear dresses!" Despite being pretty transphobic in secret and how she passes laws. Her mom sees most things as an exchange, and her and Lizzie always used to fight for her love through academics, But Lizzie's pretty much given up on trying to appease her, so despite her powers being seen as "less rare", she's the preferred child now. Though, in the back of her head, she desperately wishes she had her sister's freedom. Should I add the two of them had a catholic upbringing? Big amount of guilt on her end but at the same time a sense of superiority and entitlement. Raz makes her feel threatened in her status as "#1 student" and she's very aggressive about it.

Lizzie - She's just given up on her relationship with her parents. No matter what they do, she isn't going to go back to constant competition and stress. She'd rather be a high school slacker who hangs out with "the wrong crowd" (poorer punk kids who prefer to dumpsterdive than buy their clothes) and actually have a social life than fighting for the spot of "perfect precious angel child" for the rest of her life. No matter how many punishments they give her or how much they scold her for wearing "rags". But it stil hurts that they've stopped setting a plate on the table for her because "you're never home anyways."

[royposting]

i think its always an interesting discussion with normie women about looks honestly. like i know we like to poke fun and such but ill happily have the talk with them when theyre curious.

like i am a decidedly gnc woman. i dont have the swag to be butch but i have a buzzcut and im hairy as hell and i mostly wear jeans+hoodie or dress pants+button down or turtleneck. also usually a baseball cap. i have had a lot of coworkers who were typical feminine women and they have almost all said something along the lines of ”but you could be so pretty!”.

they genuinely, in their heart of hearts, think ive decided to be ”ugly” because i just dont know better. so i show them photos of when i used to be very feminine - long hair and short skirts and full beat face every day - and they are SHOCKED. the usual question out of their mouths is ”what happened?!”. and they cannot wrap their head around the concept that i have the potential to be traditionally attractive for a woman but choose to be gnc.

even more so, they absolutely REFUSE to believe that i find myself more attractive now, and that as a lesbian, women find me more attractive now. they genuinely think lesbians are just okay with being ”ugly”, not that we find ourselves and each other sexy like this. women are genuinely not told that they can be anything other than traditionally, femininely, stereotypically attractive, and that there is no other way to be. and id like to think i can expand some minds by answering those questions, and thats a good thing.

[cowboyjen68]

hi jen i was wondering if this is a common butch experience? do you ever feel that words such as 'girl' or 'lady' don't apply to you / you are uncomfortable being referred to as such? yet you are still a woman?

When I was younger the answer would have been a resounding "YES". I didn't want to be my mom (lady) or the other girls who seemed boy crazy and seemed happy to dumb themselves down to get the attention of adults and boys.

Mom was always saying "try to act more like a lady when you go to school" or "girls don't do that" or "girls aren't loud". Looking back I know she didn't mind her little Tomboy but was trying to protect my social standing among my peers. She, like a good mom, didn't want me to be outcast or picked on.

I was called "young lady" but my Uncles and Aunt and older neighbors and hearing that made my skin crawl. I didn't think of why, I just felt like it was almost an insult.

In retrospect, now that I am older, I realize that I was letting the stigma I had attached to those words affect my feelings about them. Lady was some frumpy old woman in a house dress with curlers or a nicely dressed woman who had on make up and heels to look good for the gentlemen. Girls were petty and prissy, worried about their clothes and hair and were overtly about what boys or adults thought of their appearance. I was exactly NONE Of these things and had zero desire to attempt them. I didn't have a word for butch so I landed on "I am not like other girls".

Now I think so what if some ladies like to be fancy in nice dresses and perfume and some girls like boys and realize that being pleasant can get them attention that is more positive than if they don't care or are stubborn?

I realize that I can be a woman (or a girl when I was younger) and wear cargo pants and hiking boot with horse shit on them. I know that when some young kid says "hi lady, how are you" they might not have any negative ideas in mind. They simply see an older woman and therefore, a lady. And girl was simply what I was before I was old enough to be a woman.

I was allowing my own understanding of how women (girls and older women) were supposed to act to be controlled by the ways I saw society (mostly men but also women) treated women in my life.

Once I was older I took charge of that and treated other women as humans and started to really respect their (our) unique experiences in this world. I wanted to control the narrative of my own life and to not judge other woman and girls by the the treatment of others but on their own merits.

The truth is I understand the negative reaction to those words and I think your emotions towards them are common and ok to have. The more you become confident and have interactions with women of all varieties you will find that you share more in common than the world wants you to believe.