#mr fantastic is the best one though. he just wanted to be called that. i bet he was sitting on it for years.

[sciderman]

thinking of spider-man's first silly little suit (and his silly little webwings)

thinking of you all the time (webwings)

[bookshelf-dust]

body and soul

sirius black x gn!reader

word count: 1,418

warnings: swearing, sexual innuendos?, flirting, fluff

a/n: hi! i wanted to write more sirius, and here we are. i think this is really sweet. i hope that you enjoy it! also, the title is a mr. darcy line from pride and prejudice (2005). i couldn’t resist, okay? sue me. anyways, let me know what you think and i love you!! <33

————

“I thought you said I could braid your hair, you little shit.” You remove your fingers from his curls. 

Sirius scoffs, leaning his head back to try and chase your hand. “Quite a mouth you’ve got on you.” 

You let up, continuing to scratch your nails over his scalp. You’d say he’s almost purring, but that’d be the wrong animal, you’re afraid. 

Sirius is sat on the floor between your legs. When you’d asked to play with his hair, he’d agreed, though this isn’t what you’d meant. He doesn’t seem to care. If you hear one more “five more minutes,” you might just kill him. 

“Regulus?”

“Hm?” The boy is sprawled out on the bed behind where you sit, flipping through something of Sirius’ he’d picked up upon entering the room.

“Who should we invite to your brother’s funeral?”

He snorts, and you can feel his shoulders shaking against the mattress. Sirius’ eyes snap open. “My what? What crime have I committed that is so heinous for you to now discuss my death?” 

He leans his head back, stormy eyes blinking up at you. 

“You haven’t let me braid your hair when that’s exactly what I asked of you.”

Sirius lets out a whine. “But I like the scratches.” 

“I know you do. But, frankly my love, you’re being a pain in my ass.”

He turns around to face you, sitting up on his knees, hands grabbing at your ankles. “Oh but I like your ass, wouldn’t want to hurt it now, would we?”

“Okay, gross. I’m going,” Regulus proclaims, but he doesn’t move an inch. He flips over onto his back, shielding his eyes with his forearm.

“Can I braid yours, Reg?” 

He peeks at you from underneath his arm. “Sure.”

You push further back on Sirius’ bed, trying to escape his grasp. He’s quick to stand, towering over you, hands creeping up your legs. There’s a look of faux betrayal on his face; you know better than to think he’d actually be upset about you choosing his brother’s hair to braid first. 

“Get back, you dog.”

Sirius gasps, and with one scandalized hand pressed to his chest—the other slapping at his sibling for laughing—you dart out of his range. 

You make it to the other side of the bed, Regulus now in between the both of you. The boy settles, cross legged in the space, and you sit up on your knees to rake through his waves. His hair is a little less wild than his brothers, but just as thick and smooth. 

“Sirius, my love, would you get me the ties and a brush, please?”

The look he receives from you tells him that he has no other choice. He retrieves them for you, though he gives you his best puppy dog eyes before handing them over. “Kiss.”

You smack one on his cheek, and steal the items from his hands. He looks appalled, and sits himself against the headboard, grumpy and brooding. 

Regulus’s hair isn’t nearly as long as Sirius’s, but there’s enough that you make two small french braids with the front section of his hair, tying them together at the crown of his head. You think he looks fantastic, and he’d be lying to himself if he said otherwise. 

He wanders off after his hair is done with, clearly finished with the both of your antics. 

Sirius crosses his arms, giving you a haughty look, as if he doesn’t need attention from you. Really he’s dying for a kiss, for you to play with his hair some more. 

“Oh, don’t be so grumpy, sweetheart,” you coo. He lets his arms drop, mouth ticking up at the corners. He loves it when you call him that. 

“Gimme a kiss, and a good one,” he warns, holding his finger up, “and you may have your way with me.”

“Oh, I may?” You scoot up towards him, hands planting firmly against the mattress on either side of his thighs. 

“Damn right, you may,” he laughs, completely enthralled with you.

You lean in, keeping your eyes on his—something else he’s fond of. You slot your mouth against his, finding the press of his lips to be warm and all-encompassing. Sirius has this way of kissing you, pushing his feelings outward and into you, letting you know how utterly taken he is. How much love he has for you. He makes you feel like you’re the only person in the world, like he will protect you from anything and everything. Nothing touches his baby. 

You try to pull away, but should know better. Sirius is greedy, always wanting seconds and thirds. And he gets them. Every. Fucking. Time. 

When he does let you go, it’s only to scoot further down the bed so that you can rise up onto your knees behind him. He likes it better this way because he can feel the heat of your body much more than if he were to sit on the floor. Being close to you makes him feel safe. Especially in a bedroom that has been a sanctuary from the rest of his home for so long. It’s better still with you in it. 

You comb through his mess of curls, and he tries his best not to groan each time you yank a little too hard. Once the knots are gone, you part his hair down the middle and separate it so you can braid each side. 

Sirius closes his eyes, enjoying the feeling of your hands in his hair, the way your fingers send a chill down his spine each time they graze his neck. 

He’ll never understand how good you are at this, how you could do it with your eyes closed if you had to. He’s watched you do it numerous times, weaving each strand underneath the other, and you’ve even offered to teach him how someday so he can put it up when you’re not around. 

He’s gotten the hang of a regular braid; he just likes it better when you do it. Sirius also thinks he has to keep his hair long forever, because he couldn’t stand to deprive you of this. 

He feels when you finish one braid, the weight of it resting on one shoulder as you begin work on the other. 

“Going to sleep on me, baby?” you question, noticing how quiet he is. 

“Of course not,” he quips, reaching around to squeeze your waist.

You hold the braid firm in one hand, using the other the gently grab his jaw and turn him to face you. You kiss him once, short and sweet, and Sirius doesn’t think he could be more content. More cared for.

“Enjoying this, Black?” You’re beaming at him, eyes alight. This close you can see the freckles on the apples of his cheeks, across his nose. They’re light, but they’re most definitely there. And they’re gorgeous. 

“You know I am. You know, I really think you do it because it shuts me up.” 

You return to braiding, weaving the strands behind his ear together as securely as you can get them. “You got me.”

Sirius chuckles, a warm and honey-like sound. It fills your every nerve with glee.

“I’m all done,” you tell him, sinking back down into the mattress and stretching out your legs, knees having started to ache from being in that position for too long. 

Sirius spins around, grabbing hold of your ankles and tugging so that you fall back onto the bed. He pulls until you’re where he wants you, his body between your legs. He braces his arms on either side of your head, looking down at you, nothing but pure adoration in his eyes. 

“How do I look?”

You yank gently on the ends of his pigtails. “Gorgeous, as always.”

He chuckles. “Oh, how you flatter me, my love.”

You snort, and he enjoys the sound tremendously. Sirius presses his cheek to yours, nuzzling into your hair.

“I love you.” He whispers it into your ear, and the rasp in his voice gives you goosebumps.

“I love you too, baby.” You whisper the response into his ear as he’d done to yours, and the action makes him so happy that he pulls away just so he can kiss you. So that he can kiss every square inch of your face. 

“Thank you for letting me play with your hair,” you say. 

He winks at you, smacking an obnoxiously loud kiss to the center of your throat. “Anytime, my sweet.”

————

please let me know if you liked this! feedback is always appreciated!! comments and reblogs mean more than you know. <33

[thalialunacy]

[for @calaisreno's May prompt challenge, which is thusfar h*ckin fun]

(1) 2: box (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9)

Where are you? John texts, paused in the main doorway of the-- empty-- flat.

He's not worried… yet. Sherlock is a cock, yes, but he's been good with Rosie, really good. Surprisingly good. So good John's stopped waiting for the other shoe to drop. Mostly.

Hi John, this is Molly on Sherlock's phone

'Oh, fantastic,' John mutters as he hangs up his coat.

Who's injured? he shoots back as soon as his fingers allow.

Or, oh God--

Don't tell me he's in jail.

He's not in jail.

Somehow, this is not reassuring. He dispenses with clumsy fingers and hits the Call button instead.

The sounds of A & E snap into his ear and he stills. Then he reaches right back out for his coat. 'Where?'

Molly hesitates. 'I don't think-- I mean, it's all right, I'll have them home in a jiff. It's just a small fracture--'

'Molly,' he grinds out, pounding down the stairs. 'She's my daughter, tell me where she is.'

'Oh!' she says quickly. 'No, Rosie's fine! Completely fine! He'd never let anything-- John, don't be silly-- He'd rather break his own wrist than--' She falters. 'Well. I should probably let him tell you himself, but Rosie is fine. Sherlock is fine, in fact, or very nearly. They were just having a bit of fun.'

John suddenly looks around where he's landed, at the bottom of the stairs with one hand on the front door. There is a suspicious lack of hallway furniture-- Mrs Hudson's table and vase are nowhere to be seen, her umbrella stand empty and shoved back by the door to 221C-- and there is the strange addition of a very large, slightly rumpled cardboard box.

'What the actual f--'

There's fumbling noises on the other end, then Sherlock's voice, sounding only the slightest bit defensive. 'It only took a few iterations to find that the newest boxes work the best.'

'The newest boxes,' John repeats, knowing he heard what he thinks he just heard but wanting like hell to believe otherwise.

'Worked best, yes, do keep up. It was hardly a rigorous study, circumstances being--'

'Sherlock.' John pinches the bridge of his nose, counting to ten in Very Loud Internal Numbers. 'Please don't tell me you and my very young only child were using cardboard boxes as sledges in order to toboggan down the stairs.' 

'Alright, then, I won't tell y--' 

There's more rustling, and a muffled, 'Oh for goodness' sake, Sherlock.'

'John,' Molly's back with a moment later, using her steeliest voice, which-- to be fair-- has become quite steely in the years he's known her. 'Do not leave Baker Street, please. They'll be home before you know it. And will be needing some food and a nap.'

'Which one?' John says dryly, feeling himself unclench. Rosie is fine. He trusts Molly one hundred percent on this subject. Rosie is fine. 

… he finds he keeps repeating that in his head, though, until he actually hears Sherlock's feet on the stairs an hour later.

He pushes through the kitchen door onto the landing, heedless of the half-cooked supper left behind, and doesn't breathe out until he's met Sherlock halfway up and lifted Rosie into his arms. 'Baby girl,' he mutters into her hair, holding her close. 'Are you alright?'

She wriggles with a grunt, and he reluctantly pulls back so she can answer. 'Daddy!' she starts enthusiastically, then babbles out a stream of words John only partially understands and, to be honest, partially tunes out when he clocks the delicate-looking cast peeking out from under Sherlock's cuffs.

They're stood face to face on the stairs, talkative child between them, and John feels strung up tight, balancing on some sharp edge as he searches Sherlock's expression and works out what has happened.

Sherlock has, once again, saved a Watson.

He'd also been the one to get her into the trouble, and he will get a stern lecture in a minute, but John knows in his bones, finally, that his heart is very much in the right place. And Rosie is in his arms, whole and fine and still chattering at them, her fingers playing with his collar.

'You sodding idiot,' John says finally, voice nearly uncooperative. 'You're lucky it was only a fracture.'

'We only used the bottom few stairs,' Sherlock replies, indignant. 'And I had it under control. I would never--'

Without thought, John kisses him, right on his slackened mouth. He's somehow unsurprised by how natural it feels. 'I know, I know. Trust me. You're still an idiot.'

'John?' Sherlock asks tightly, though he hasn't moved away.

'Just. Shut up.' John presses their lips together again, pressure letting Sherlock know he means it, that this isn't just a fluke. 'Let me have this.'

And Sherlock, utterly reliable in this one respect, lets him.

[❤️]

[imtryingbuck]

She’s gone

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Summary: The team lose their friend (I’m bad at summaries sorry)

Word count: 1,695

Warnings: Angst. Sad times. Swearing. Reader threatens to bite people. Children get thrown (fun) Death

Translation: мисс мисс плохой парень - miss, miss bad guy./ ты хочешь летать? - do you want to fly? (if translations are wrong please let me know, thank you)

Masterlist   Series Masterlist

6 years ago.

Fury and Maria walked into the briefing room where everyone was waiting “I’m just going to get straight to the point, an organisation going by the name of The Reapers have threatened to blow up a hospital in Russia- yes Y/n?”

“Why?”

“I was just getting to that part”

“Okay you can proceed”

“Why thank you. Now as I was saying, they want their leader to be treated for- yes Y/n?”

“What’s wrong with him?”

“You know Birdie if you stop interrupting me you might find out” Smiling sarcastically towards her.

“That’s true, continue Mr Furry” Everyone chuckles at her nickname for him.

“Their leader has a heart defect, a British heart surgeon who is the best of the best is in Russia to help out - Y/n put your hand down - they want him to be treated, they’ve been flagged up by the FBI as a terrorist organisation so obviously they’re not getting any help. Now they’re threatening to blow said hospital up, now Y/n you can ask your question”

“Why don’t they just do it and just fuck up - language I know - by putting in a teeny tiny little bomb inside of his chest, wait until he leaves and then… BAM, he dead.” She slams her hand on to the table “Ow that hurt. But anyway why don’t they just do that instead of letting hundreds of innocent people die?”

“She’s got a point” Tony agrees.

“Thanks dad” Receiving a salute as a response.

“Where will we get this teeny tiny little bomb from?” Fury asks with his arms crossed.

“Me”. Saying it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world “I’ve been working on it for awhile now and it’s great, my little baby is perfect if I do say so myself” She speaks with pride lacing her voice.

“It won’t work, the FBI wants them alive so they can be questioned”

“But why? And also why are we being involved if we can’t kill them?”

“I don’t know, it makes no sense to me either and the reason why you’re being involved is to be there when they do something-“

“Oh fantastic. So we just have to wait for them to do something bad and then we can kill them”

“The girl might have a point” A voice comes from the doorway.

“Ew I’m a woman”

“Sorry, the woman might have a point”

“And who are you?” Steve asks.

“I’m Special Agent Lloyd Johansson with the FBI Counter Terrorist Unit. As I was saying this gir-woman might be on to something. Okay let’s say we have a bomb placed in him how close by does he have to be in order for it to go off?”

“I can set it off from the comfort of my bed”

“If I give the go ahead on this Fury I want her to be a member of my Unit”

Everyone was ready to protest at Agent Lloyds comment but Y/n jumped in first

“Over my dead body! No. No fucking way will I work for the FBI. Nope. No. Fury I won’t do it! I’ll eat his face off if I have to!”

The whole room fell silent at her last words.

“Okay maybe I won’t eat his face, Jesus people it was a joke! But no Larry I won’t join your unit”

“Lloyd, my names Lloyd”

“Sorry Lawrence. But no means no, thanks for playing though” 

Lloyd speaks directly to Fury “I like this one! Okay you’ve got the go ahead to plant this bomb but I will be joining you guys”

“Suit up we leave in 20 minutes” Fury says as he leaves the room.

On the quinjet 15 minutes later Fury’s telling everyone their part. Y/n was sat down and was getting her headphones out when Lloyd sits down next to her.

“Hey”

“Hi?”

“What’s your name again?”

“Natwanda”

“No it’s not” He chuckles.

“Why ask me when you already know the answer?”

“Why does Fury call you Birdie?” Lloyd asks changing the subject.

“Because I have a bird tattoo”

“Why a bird?”

“It’s free. Just like me”

“Cool so are you datin-“

“Yeah, see the guy with the metal arm who’s giving you dirty looks. Him. And he’ll break you like a pretzel”. She gets up and moves closer to Bucky.

“Like a pretzel?” Bucky chuckles.

“Yep, hey you wanna listen to some music with me?” Already handing him one of the buds.

“It’s not going to be Black Sabbath again will it?”

“Bee Gees?”

“That’s fine”

“Don’t wanna hurt your precious old man ears now do we?”

“What was that?”

“Nothing”

Touching down near the hospital, the team moved into place.

“Buck something’s not right about this…”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know, something’s off”

And just as she said that all that was heard was gunshots and screams.

“Everyone move in!”

Gunfire and chaos erupted from all around as Y/n approached alongside with Bucky who was followed closely by Steve and Nat.

“Get down” Steve orders a split second before he throws his shield. “Y/n go left, Bucky go right, Nat you stick with me”

“Ay Ay Captain” Y/n salutes as she takes the left corridor.

There was way more of The Reapers than they had originally thought. As her gun gets jammed she throws it to the ground and releases her claws, trying to push The Reapers back and help getting people out as much as she could.

She had just cleared the 7th or 8th room when she heard Thor’s deep voice from the other end, as she turned to face him a huge explosion hit from her end of the corridor.

She could hear Bucky’s and Thor’s screams coming from her comms though she was to disoriented from the blast she managed to mumble out “I’m okay. I’m okay Buck I promise”.

Hearing her voice come through his comms and hearing her repeat she’s okay calmed him down. He was busy helping doctors move patient after patient out of harms way when the whole building shook. His heart jumped to his throat as he realised the explosion came from her end of the hospital.

Slowly the gunfire ceased, they all met up at the checkpoint they had agreed to. As soon as Bucky sees her he pulls her to him for a hug, checking over for injuries straight after.

“We still have kids on this side of the building we need to get out” Nat says.

“We’ll get them don’t worry. Y/n are you alright?”

“I’m fine. Someone best have a donut ready for me soon or I’m gonna start biting people”

“You and your donuts kid. C’mon let’s get to work” Tony chuckles.

A little girl no older than 8 grabbed Y/n’s attention by pulling on her arm “мисс, мисс плохой парень” pointing over to a man who had a gun pointed at Thor.

“ты хочешь летать?” She asked the little girl who just smiled and nodded, “Bucky! Catch” just as he turns around, he sees a little girl being thrown towards him.

Running towards Thor a gun is shot. Then another.

“Y/n? Y/n are you hit?” Thor panics.

“Yeah but I’ll live, he won’t though”.

“You…you took a bullet for me? What were you thinking?”

“Of course I did, and I’ll happily do it again. And Thor my love, you should know me well enough by now, I don’t think, haven’t got a brain inside my skull” Chuckling as she walks off.

“Lady Y/n you need to ge-“

“Thor I’m fine, I promise”

Going back to where she was originally at before she continued to help passing the kids in to Bucky’s waiting arms. All that was left on that side of the building was Y/n, Thor and 5 more children.

“Thor jump down next to Buck, and I’ll throw these kids at you two”

“What’s with you and throwing kids?” Bucky asked.

“It’s fun, no honestly it is and they love it. Well that little girl did anyway, come on Thor I haven’t got all day”

Thor listens to her, jumping down to stand by Bucky they both wait for these poor little children to be thrown at them. Just as she has the second to last one, a boy who looked up at her with wide brown eyes, she smiled and whispered “It’s okay”.

Holding the little boy in her arms she heard the sound of the building shifting “That’s not good” she whispered mainly to herself. “Thor! Catch!”. As soon as the child is free from her fingers the building starts to collapse.

“Y/n get out of there!” Screamed Steve.

But she couldn’t. There was another child, and there was no way on earth she would have left it behind. So she scrambled to get her, pulling the crying and terrified child into her arms she shouts over the deafening noise of bricks falling “Bucky!” As quickly as he could he hands the child over to an agent, just as they all hear one final gunshot.

Turning towards Y/n he sees her standing there with wide eyes, her mouth open and closes as she gasped for air. His blue eyes already filling with tears trail downwards until they land on the crimson circular splatter on her chest.

No one could move. Everyone was frozen.

The building came tumbling down.

“No! No! Y/n! Y/n! Baby answer me!” Bucky screamed “No no no no no” He kept repeating.

Thor gripped onto the super soldier as they both fell to their knees, holding his friend tightly in his arms as the soldier lets out gut-wrenching sobs that tore through his chest, screams echoing the now quiet street.

Fury drops to his knees, his trembling hands cover his head. Trying his hardest to make himself smaller.

The Avengers fall to their knees one by one with tears streaming down their cheeks. Their bodies each shook with an onslaught of sobs and tears.

Each agent of SHIELD followed suit.

Lloyd walks off and once he’s around the corner he raised both hands and says “Hail Hydra” before falling to the ground, foam pouring from his mouth.

Next>

~ banner credit goes to @sweetpeapod ~

[gimmethosedaddymilkers]

More Arthur Morgan Headcannons

You guys really liked the Arthur Morgan headcannons last time (over 200 notes!) so I’m just gonna write some more out of the top of my head because why not?

Don’t forget to check out my newest 18+ NSFW excerpt from my rdr2 fanfic. It’s not for everyone, it’s an original character instead of an insert, but it’s on my page if you’re interested! 

Anyway, headcannons are under the cut! 

Arthur Morgan is a man who will beat himself up. No matter how small the issue, no matter what it was, maybe it wasn’t even his fault, but he’ll make himself believe that it was in fact his fault.

You tripped? 

His fault. He was distracting you. 

You sneezed?

Yep, his fault, he must have brought a cold to camp, and he kissed you, his fault. 

No matter what, some small, tiny little inconvenience, if he can link it back to himself, he will and he will blame himself. 

You have to convince him it isn’t his fault, and after a lot of talking eventually he will cave and say: “Well, maybe it ain’t my fault...” and then you have to do just a little bit more convincing because then he’s gonna ask repeatedly: “Can I do somethin’ to help you at least?” 

Arthur is also a man who does literally everything in his power to irritate/ rile you up. It’s hilarious to him. When nothing has happened and he isn’t busy trying to sit there and blame himself, he’s actually really loose and fun.

He loves to see you beet red in the face, and watching you get mad is funny enough he almost pissed himself once. He couldn’t remember the last time he laughed that hard. 

Hell you made him laugh so hard one time that he actually physically fell backwards on his ass, and while under normal circumstances he would have been embarrassed, he couldn’t even care that there was mud on his pants, not when he couldn’t breathe between chuckles. 

Arthur refuses to show you his Journal, he also refuses to show you what’s in his satchel. He’s easily embarrassed by the fact that he draws you all the time, and he’s afraid that he doesn’t do you justice. He feels like there’s no way in hell he could ever properly draw you out, and he doesn’t want you to see his ‘awful attempt’ at trying to show what he sees.

He knows you’re absolutely fantastic, beautiful, gorgeous, handsome, whatever you’d like to be called. He loves you to no ends, but he feels like he just can’t ever get the perfect look.

It never measures up to what he sees in his head, and he doesn’t want you to see it until he can get it just right.

You’ve seen a few sketches, on accident, you weren’t snooping, he left it open on the table next to his cot. 

He made you look absolutely stunning. Every little detail he captured was just down to the T. 

You didn’t know what to do, you decided it was best not to say anything, but the fact that Arthur saw you like that made you tear up every time you thought about it. 

Every once in a while you call Arthur “Mr. Morgan.” and he thinks that he’s upset you, and in reality he hasn’t done anything at all, you just think it’s funny to call him that rather than Arthur, or Art, or Arty, or any of the other various nicknames for him, because he’ll push out that bottom lip of his and furrow his brow as he tries to figure out what he did earlier. 

Though then you have to reassure him he didn’t do anything wrong, and then he’ll probably call you an ass before giving you a kiss.

Arthur’s favorite color, other than blue obviously, is actually red, he doesn’t know why, he hates dealing with blood, despite the fact that it’s on him more often than not, so it doesn’t make much sense to him as to why he’s so attracted to that deep maroon, but if you ask him what it is he’ll tell you both blue and red. 

Though he thinks that’s a stupid question.

His least favorite chore around camp is chopping wood. His back hurts, he rides a horse all day and he doesn’t have any back support, nothing for his lumbar, so chopping wood would, you think, crack his back, however it cracks it in the worse possible way. 

Sometimes its so bad that if he chops wood and just cracks his back the wrong way then he has to lay in his bed for a day or two, it’s too hurtful to move. 

Arthur braids your hair, he doesn’t think about it, it just happens, he gets bored and your hair is right there, and before you know it your hair is braided and the only reason it’s done so well is because he braids his horse’s tail. 

Sometimes you braid his, when he lets it grow long enough. He feels like it looks stupid, but you think it looks sweet. 

You put it up in a ponytail sometimes too, and again, he thinks it looks stupid and hates the way he looks with it, but you think he looks wonderful, and you do your best to try and convince him to keep it up like that. 

Sometimes, if you’re lucky he will.

Not only that, but Arthur sometimes cuts his hair short and grows his beard long, you’ll braid his beard and he looks like a Viking. You think it’s hot as hell. 

He does like this look better, and he will keep it for a long while, sometimes you can even convince him to grow out his hair longer too to complete the Viking look.

When he looks like that, you boost his confidence with all the compliments you give him. Though to be fair you give him a bunch of compliments anyway. 

Arthur loves sleep.

As much as he is awake and running around.

He’d sleep all day if he could, sleep all day, all night, and literally do anything he could to just sleep. Doesn’t matter where he is, how uncomfortable the spot was, no matter what, he would do his best to nap.

You love to see him nap, or sleep, it’s so attractive to see him sleep on his stomach, his hair all tousled and his arms under his head. 

He’s especially cute when he’s hardly awake and can barely speak.

“Arthur, are you awake?”

“Mhm...’m up.” 

“Are you really?” 

“Mhm.” 

“What are you doing today?”

“Hmh?” He shrugs.

He’ll look at you with half lidded eyes and a partially open mouth, trying to decipher what you’re telling him, but he’s not awake enough to fully comprehend what it is you’re trying to get him to understand. 

Sometimes you’ll see him napping against a rock or tree in camp, and sit next to him, lucky enough that he doesn’t wake up, and you’ll lean against him and take a nap there with him.

Usually by the time you wake up he’s managed to wrap his arms around you and pulled you into his lap. 

He snores too. 

Only sometimes, not all the time, but sometimes, usually on a day that he’s been running around, the days he’s been lounging around he doesn’t snore too much. 

When he does snore, it’s not too loud, but it can be annoying, but you’ve gotten so used to it that you just listen to it to fall asleep at this point.

When you try to tell him he snores he doesn’t believe you and claims that you do, but you can tell by the red in his face that he does believe you. 

[dragonjesterwrites]

Animatronic Hug Rating Chart 🫂✨️

Happy Valentine's Day! 🩷 Actually wanted to write this awhile back but I wanted to finish some of the requests in my inbox first. Can be read as platonic or romantic! Also only did the Funtimes, Mediocre Melodies, and Glamrocks + Sun/Moon + DJMM to keep it short, but feel free to request any others!

~~~~~

Funtimes:

Funtime Freddy: Fully embraces the concept of bear hugging, might crush you accidentally lmao, and has a hard time knowing when to let go. Other than that, very solid hugs, will pick you up off the floor into an all encompassing embrace while laughing in delight (7/10)

BonBon: Likes to give hugs, hard for him though because he's only like, a foot tall (short king) and attached to Freddy most of the time. But he does his best! (8/10)

Funtime Foxy: Actually pretty touch averse, much prefers to interact with others from the stage, but if you're upset and want a hug, they'll do their best. An awkward and probably short hug, but a well-intentioned one. (4/10)

Circus Baby: Will probably not realize you want a hug at first (too busy scheming lmao), but she'll give you one! Like Freddy, very solid, just straight up picks you off the floor and holds you tight. A bit odd, but comforting. (6/10)

Ballora: She keeps her eyes closed 99% of the time, so she might accidentally bump into you as she reaches out for you, but otherwise a pretty good hugger. Gentle, but firm enough that you feel comforted. (8/10)

Funtime Chica: Cross between a motherly hug and an excitable one; will pick you up and squeeze you tight, but not so tight that you're at risk of being crushed. Might forget to end the hug and start talking though, just kind of carries you around. Congrats, you're now her emotional support human 👍 get lovingly kidnapped nerd (7/10)

~~~~~

Mediocre Melodies:

Happy Frog: Honestly a fantastic hugger. Very solid, loves hugs tbh. Whether you need a comfort hug, a shoulder to cry on, a congratulations hug, or you're a hugger yourself, she's got you (10/10)

Mr. Hippo: Won't initiate, he's more a talker than a touchy person, but will happily give you a hug if asked. Gentle, very safe. He will absolutely take it as permission to start telling you stories, though (9/10)

Orville: Also won't initiate, though its more because he's a bit shy and very excited to give hugs (he's a wee bit touch-starved), doesn't want to hurt you accidentally with his enthusiasm. Shame because he's a very good hugger, very warm and solid hug (9/10)

Pigpatch: Honestly not a huge hug person, but will give you a side-hug if you ask. More likely to just pat you on the back lol (2/10)

Nedd Bear: Big goofy lad, will absolutely give you a hug. Won't pick you up but will bear-hug you regardless, squeeze you tight- maybe a little too tight though, you might have to remind him you have organs and bones you'd like to keep intact lmao (5/10)

~~~~~

Glamrocks, Sun/Moon, + DJMM:

Glamrock Freddy: Very good, comforting hugs. If you're significantly shorter than him he'll kneel down and hug you. Very gentle if you need, very firm if you need, and always asks first. (11/10)

Glamrock Chica: Pretty decent hugger! Probably has pizza grease on her hands though. Will pick you up and swing you about if she's excited enough. (6/10)

Glamrock Bonnie: Always excited to give hugs! Will pick you up and squeeze you tight, forgets his own strength sometimes. But his ears twitch and his lil bunny tail wags when he hugs you, so you can excuse your spine being turned to dust (6/10)

Monty: Surprised and secretly delighted to get offered/be asked for a hug. A little unsure at first, but ends up giving a very enthusiastic hug, RIP your bones and organs (7/10)

Roxy: Might roll her eyes and call you sappy, but actually bawling inside because she can't remember the last time someone wasn't too intimidated to offer/ask for a hug from her. Puts everything into that hug, and doesn't let go (7/10)

Sun: Will pick you up and spin you around if he's in a good mood, if he's in a bad one you're being kidnapped and dragged off to the blanket fort for emergency cuddles. Ditto if you're in a bad mood. Lanky but still a good hugger, very clingy though, won't let you go until you ask, and even then he'll whine and droop like a dying flower. Sun is a master of emotional manipulation (6/10)

Moon: The most gentle hug you've ever received in your life. Very soothing and calming, you feel very safe. But watch out! Sometimes he'll "fall asleep" (a lie; you can tell because he's started giggling) so he can hug you longer. And then he "sleep-uses the cable" to "sleep-kidnap" you and before you know it, you've been blanket-burrito'd and laid down in the pillow fort in their room, with him still hugging you. Can't complain though, literally the comfiest you've ever be... zzz (7/10)

DJMM: Okay, so he can't actually hug, but he does his best 😭 very gentle and inviting, opens one of his hands and sets it down so you can climb in, will carefully enclose you (or let you hug his finger if you're claustrophobic) and if you're cool with it, he'll let you splay yourself out on his back and hug him like that. Gentle giant, loves hugs, cursed with being an absolute unit though (9/10)

[manicplank]

It could sound a but stupid, but what about pt crew parenting/babysitting? Like how would they act if some members had kids for example

Totally not because my fankid brain is kicking rn and I can't stop thinking of making children for them and make them pay child support

YO cause I headcanon that Gustavo has a son so

PARENTAL HEADCANONS!!!

Peppino: Not the best role model, but probably would act like protective uncle. Good with kids, very kind and patient. Gustavo's son calls him "Uncle Pizza" since he can't pronounce Peppino's name. Doesn't like kids too much, but is nice to them. He's surprisingly good with kids.

Gustavo: Has a son who he loves dearly, but doesn't see him often as he only has custody every other weekend. He is grateful that Peppino is so kind to his son. Gustavo is actually a fantastic dad. Spends as much time with his son as he can.

Mr. Stick: Not a fan of kids, but isn't mean to them. He might tolerate them, but he's also the kind of asshole to laugh when one gets hurt. Would probably make a lousy dad and an even worse babysitter.

Pepperman: Strangely enough, a good babysitter. He would sit and paint with the kid or tell them stories about how great of an artist he is. Probably lets them swing on his arm like a monkey. Does that thing where he tosses them up in the air.

The Vigilante: Old uncle vibes. Likes kids, they make him feel young. Takes good care of them, pays close attention. Tells them stories about bringing justice and fighting bad guys. Good at getting them to lay down for naps and usually naps as well. Would let them pet the animals on the farm.

The Noise: Despite being a manchild, he doesn't like kids. Like... at all. He would rather die than have a kid. He's not mean to them, per se, but might growl if one comes too close to him. The type of guy to go "EW!" if you try to hand him your baby.

Noisette: She LOVES kids! She would never want to be a mother, though. Once they start crying, she doesn't like them as much. She only likes the good part. Auntie Noisette! She was probably a babysitter as a teenager to make some money. Loves to play with them and tell stories.

Fake Peppino: He likes kiddos! Which is sad considering most of them scream and run away from him. ): He sees them the same way people see puppies or kittens: tiny and cuuute! He wants to play with them, but they're too scared of him. It makes him kind of sad.

Pizzahead: Neutral on children. He thought kids would love Pizza Boy's Pizz-pizza, but unfortunately, the things he thought kids liked were dangerous, like knives and explosives. Surprisingly, though, he is good with kids and can handle even the naughtiest of children. Kids love pizza, and he is Pizza.

Pillar John: Likes kids! Would totally let them climb up him like a mountain or let them roll him around like a log. He would have just as much fun as they would. He's a very jolly guy.

Gerome: Surprisingly good with kids. I feel he's the older brother, so he was good with lil baby John. Had lots of fun growing up with John. Would make a nice mellow babysitter. Good ol' Uncle Gerome. Would teach them about cleaning up after themselves. Could also get them to lay down for naptime.

[lovesugars]

❝better call saul❞

summary— hey hey!<3 idk if you’re taking requests, but if u are, would u be interested in writing a smutty saul x reader where reader is like college aged? 💕 maybe he lectures at her college n she catches his eye or vice versa, or they even just met by chance?? 🥰

parings— saul goodman x student!reader

warnings— none

It wasn't like you hadn't seen him before.

You'd see his commercials on TV almost every night, and his face plastered on billboards and benches from one end of Albuquerque to the other.

But it was different this time. You were so entranced by actually seeing him in the flesh speaking at your college. You needed to talk to him. You patiently waited for him to wrap up his lecture before you decided to approach him.

Gosh, he seemed taller in person. You couldn’t help admiring him, you’d always had a thing for older men; always preferring them to boys your age. You knew that there was something about Saul Goodman that you wanted next to you at night.

You looked through your compact to make sure that your makeup still looked presentable as you waited for your class to clear out. Pushing your breasts together, you made your move.

"Mr. Goodman? I just wanted to say that I was very inspired by your lecture. I've actually been thinking quite a lot about going into law.."

He looked at you for a moment. No doubt sizing up your skimpy outfit. You mentally praised yourself for wearing something so risky today.

“That’s very moving dear, I’m glad that you managed to get something out of it. And going into law? I can tell just by looking at you that you’d make a fantastic lawyer, and with a face like that? The pretty ones are always the best. You’d be perfect for it.”

That part made you giggle, he was even more charismatic in real life. And, the best part was, you didn’t happen to see a ring on his finger.

“You really think so?”

“Know so. Hell, you could even come work as an intern for me. You know, filing paperwork and all that. Maybe help me work on a case here and there. That’s if your schedule allows it and only if you’re interested of course.”

“Really? Oh, Thank you so much Mr. Goodman!”

“Please, call me Saul.” He said as he ushered you out of the room, resting his hand lower than what was considered professional. You loved it, though.

“Okay, Saul.”

You smiled to yourself, twirling a strand of curled hair around your manicured finger. You had to cancel some plans, but honestly, who could fault you?

“I’ll see you Monday, then?” You asked hopefully. You tried not to sound too excited, but you knew that it wasn’t very convincing.

“You know who to call, sweetheart.”

[tokuvivor]

Duckverse June Week 2: Happy Birthday Day Daisy, Della, and Donald

Okay, now I think I kinda got the hang of this. Anyway, I give you…

Surprise and…Surprise Again!

“So, Mom, Uncle Donald, why exactly did you want us to have a super-exclusive family meeting on the houseboat with just the five of us?” Huey asked.

“I mean, I’m all for exclusivity, but what gives?” Louie questioned.

“I’m so glad you asked, boys,” Donald answered. “Well, Daisy’s birthday is in a few days, and we were thinking of putting together a surprise party for her.”

“There’s no way in he-I mean, heck we can pull it off on our own,” Della added. “So we figured we’d ask you three.”

“We’d love to!” Huey replied cheerfully.

“Between the five of us, I’m sure we could put together something great for Aunt Daisy,” Dewey added.

“Yeah, let’s get the ball rolling on it!” Louie finished.

“Okay, good,” Donald continued. “Thanks, boys. So, who should do what?”

“I’ll try and figure out what the party should be like,” Huey suggested. “I can write out a list of things Aunt Daisy likes, and then go from there.”

“I call music!” Dewey called out. “I can bring back DJ Daft Duck for this one!”

Huey and Louie grimaced, remembering the last time Dewey pulled out his DJ Daft Duck persona at a relative’s birthday party.

“Okay, fine,” Dewey groaned. “I can just as well put something together music-wise just as myself.”

“I’ll do decorations,” Louie added. “Because the party has to look worthy of a fashion designer’s tastes.”

“I’ll work on inviting people!” Della exclaimed. “My sister-in-law is going to have the best da-uh, dang birthday party ever!”

“Honestly, I don’t want it blown too out of proportion, though,” Donald commented. “Maybe just try for semi-immediate family?”

“Semi-immediate family. Got it,” Della reported back.

“Good. And I’ll work on the food and keep track of the gifts,” Donald finished.

“Uncle Donald, don’t you think Aunt Daisy would notice you cooking a lot in your kitchen?” Louie questioned.

“Phooey. Right. I’ll ask Mrs. B if I can use the kitchen here,” Donald reasoned.

“Alright, I think that’s everything,” said Huey, tapping his pen against his notebook. “Oh, this is going to be awesome! Aunt Daisy will love this!”

“Mom, what’s so important that we have to meet in your office to discuss it?” questioned May.

“Well, as you know,” Daisy began, addressing the three girls in front of her, “your dad and Aunt Della’s birthday is next week. So I figured it might be nice to do a surprise party for them.”

“Yes! Absolutely!” Webby burst out. “This is going to be so fun.”

“But how exactly will we pull it off in just a few days?” June wondered.

“We’ll definitely have to put our heads together on this,” reasoned Daisy. “Webby, do you have your notebook?”

“Of course!” Webby replied, rummaging around in her backpack and pulling the sparkly notebook out. “Gotta be ready for anything.” She turned to a blank page.

“Fantastic,” Daisy replied. “So, what can the three of you work on?”

“Ooh, I think I have a general idea of what the party should be like!“ volunteered Webby. “Considering I’ve been researching their family my whole life, I can probably come up with something good. That, and the fact that I’ve gotten to know them fairly well over the past few years.”

“Impressive,” Daisy glowed. “May, June, what about you?”

“I can figure out the decorations,” replied June. “I’m pretty good at making stuff on my own thanks to Junior Woodchucks, and for whatever I can’t do on my own, I can probably find stuff in colors that Dad and Aunt Della would both like.”

“I’ll figure out some of the logistics, like who to invite and where we should have the party,” May added.

“I can figure out what foods they would both want, and go from there,” Daisy finished.

“If you’re thinking some kind of seafood for Uncle Donald, you should probably keep it away from Aunt Della’s array of food,” noted Webby.

“Ooh! Right,” Daisy exclaimed. “May or may not have to end up as sort of a Venn diagram of food, when all is said and done.”

“We can figure it out, though,” May added.

“Oh, I can’t wait for this!” June squealed. “They’re going to love it.”

Huey, Dewey, and Louie were in the dining room, making preparations for Daisy’s surprise party, when Webby, May, and June bustled in.

“Uh, what are you three doing here?” Louie asked.

“What are you doing here?” May shot back.

“I asked you first.”

“Fine,” May grumbled. “We’re putting together a surprise party for Dad and Aunt Della.”

Huey’s face went blank. “Oh,” he said quietly. “Oh, phooey.”

“What’s wrong with that?” Webby asked.

“It’s just that, uh, we were actually working on a surprise party of our own,” Huey replied. “For Aunt Daisy.”

“Yeah, we kinda figured,” June put in.

“What?” Dewey gasped. “But how-“

“Aunt Della already invited us to your party for Mom,” June explained.

“Oh, no,” fretted Huey. “This is not good. If they know we’re having a party, and we know they’re having a party, that means…that means-“

“We could put the two together!” Webby finished.

“Right! Yeah, of course,” resigned Huey.

“Huey,” Webby continued, facing the red triplet directly, her hand on his shoulder. “Don’t worry. We can totally merge these two parties together. We’d just have to keep all three of them in the dark to an extent.”

“And we can pull that off,” May agreed. “Right?”

Louie shot a look at Dewey.

“If Dewey can, we all can,” he added.

“Oh, come on,” Dewey argued. “If it’s for the three of them, of course I’ll try and keep mum. With the six of us together, there’s nothing we can’t accomplish.”

“Exactly,” agreed June, extending her hand out. “We’ve got this.”

The other five triplets piled their hands on top of hers. “Then let’s do this thing!” Louie exclaimed.

It was finally the day of the party. Huey, Dewey, Louie, Webby, May, and June had figured out a way to combine elements from each of their parties into one, bigger party for Daisy, Della, and Donald, all the while working with their designated guardians separately so none of the three would know something was up.

Each set of triplets would set up on their own, and then they would convene. Eventually, everyone began showing up. Uncle Scrooge, Beakley, Gladstone, Fethry, even a couple of Daisy’s relatives.

“Okay, I just texted Mom,” Huey whispered.

“And…there. I’ve texted Aunt Daisy, too,” Webby replied. “The three of them are due soon.”

Louie turned off the lights in the mansion. It got very quiet. Eventually, the front door opened, and they all heard the birthday people approaching.

“Okay, we’re here,” confirmed Della.

Daisy was confused. “What’s going on, anyway? Why are all the lights out?”

“Well, you see-“ Donald began.

“SURPRISE!”

All at once, the lights came on. Daisy, Della, and Donald were absolutely floored. The entire room was covered in pink and various shades of blue. All of their loved ones were there. There was a long table laid out with food, including a massive cake in the center. The left half was covered with pink frosting, while the right half was decorated with swirls of light and dark blue frosting.

“What in Selene’s name is this?!” Della exclaimed.

“Well, we actually planned a party for you and Uncle Donald, too,” Webby admitted.

“But then we realized our plans conflicted somewhat,” Huey added.

“So we decided to work together and plan a party for all three of you!” Dewey finished, throwing a bit of jazz hands in.

“What do you think?” May asked.

“I-I don’t even know where to start,” Daisy admitted.

“I’m amazed, kids,” Donald said to his niblings and daughters. “You did all this for us?”

“Of course,” June replied. “All three of you deserve this.”

“Shoot, I think this might be the greatest thing ever,” Della concluded.

Donald and Daisy kissed, and then Della squeezed them both into a hug.

“Happy birthday, you two,” Daisy sputtered out.

“Happy birthday, Daisy,” the twins said in unison.

The three adults went over to the kids and hugged them, too.

“Thank you,” said Donald. “Seriously, this might just be the best birthday ever.”

“You’re welcome, Uncle Donald,” replied Louie.

“Now what are we waiting for?” Dewey questioned. “Let’s get our party on!”

And so the celebration commenced. It made Donald and Della realize just how thankful they were that they were together again, so they didn’t have to celebrate their birthdays apart anymore. And it made Daisy realize just how glad she was to be a part of this big, crazy, loving family.

And the way the celebration wound up happening, the three of them wouldn’t trade it for the world.

[teenytinycoffeebean]

I Am On A Journey to Watch AS MANY Films with Crispin Hellion Glover in Them As Possible

I will do my best to watch the films/shows and give a high-level view of my thoughts on each. 

I will continue to do this until I watch all of the films I have on my list (the list will be added to this post as well as updated throughout). 

I am playing catch-up compared to my other social media accounts but, to be honest, Tumblr is perfect for this kind of thing. 

So... Buckle up because this is going to be a LONG ride. (: 

First, I’d like to personally thank Crispin Glover for all the fantastic performances and artworks he’s created over the years. His approach to acting is beautifully unique, and every single one of his performances are memorable. Though I haven’t had the pleasure of viewing his own films, I’ve at least seen some of his artwork through the books he publishes. Now that I’ve found myself down a rabbit hole of sorts, not just watching these movies but also listening to all kinds of interviews and such, I am a huge admirer of the way he approaches what he does and creates. 

TL;DR: I’ve found boundless inspiration and joy from observing both his craft and his art. So, for that and for a lot more I’m struggling to put into words because they are genuinely such big emotions, thank you! 

Ok, let’s get into it. 

Although this is not the original list from when I started the journey (this project began in early December 2022--today is January 1, 2023), here is the list I am using to track, plus where to watch the films. Note that some of these are me rewatching them--like Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter and Alice in Wonderland--but I will note those as I go.

Crispin Glover's Filmography Watchlist

Note: this is not his full filmography (and does not include his personal films--though I aspire to see those as soon as I can) however it is a list of the films I aim to watch and potentially own.

Watched (in order of coverage):

Friday the 13th The Final Chapter (DVD - owned)

Back to the Future (Peacock)

Bartleby (DVD - owned)

Wizard of Gore (Tubi)

Willard (DVD - owned)

Twister [1989] (Amazon Prime)

We Have Always Lived in the Castle (DVD - owned)

Lucky Day (Amazon Prime)

Guillermo del Toro's Cabinet of Curiosities (Netflix)

Drop Dead Sexy (Tubi)

The Donner Party (Tubi)

Like Mike (Tubi)

Aimy in a Cage (Tubi)

River’s Edge (DVD - owned)

Crime and Punishment (Tubi)

Charlie's Angels (DVD - owned)

Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle (DVD - owned)

Rubin & Ed (DVD - owned)

Simon Says (DVD - owned)

Hot Tub Time Machine (HBO Max)

Freaky Deaky (Tubi)

The People vs. Larry Flynt (Hulu)

Mr. Nice (Tubi)

At Close Range (HBO Max)

What's Eating Gilbert Grape (HBO Max)

Epic Movie (Hulu)

Wild at Heart (DVD - owned)

Alice in Wonderland (Disney+)

Watching:

American Gods (DVD - owned)

To watch:

Little Noises (DVD - owned)

Teachers (DVD)

The Doors (DVD)

Fast Sofa (YouTube/DVD)

Beowulf (Pluto)

The Incident at Loch Ness (Amazon Prime)

Smiley Face Killers (Amazon Prime)

The Bag Man (Amazon Prime)

Hotel Room - Episode: "Blackout" (YouTube)

The Orkly Kid (?)

Where the Heart Is (?)

Why am I doing this? Because I want to!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To kick things off, and in the order in which I cover this journey on other social media platforms, a rewatch of one of my favorite slasher flicks was in order. Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)! 

If you remember this movie at all, which you should because it is the 2nd best film in the franchise, you may recall the awkward kid who kept talking about being horny, obsessed over his friend calling him a "dead fuck," and danced real wacky in that one scene. Ya know, Jimmy “Jimbo” Mortimer. Yes! That one! That was Crispin Glover alright. 

Though the role is small, his performance in this is just exactly what I’ve come to expect from most, if not all, of Crispin’s performances: oh so memorable. 

I love this performance a lot. Even before I was aware of Crispin Glover, I was enamored with just how strange the character was and how that differed from a lot of the other performances in the Friday the 13th franchise. 

A bit of a fun fact: Crispin has talked about that dance he does and mentions that the song that was played on set during filming was not what ended up being used in the final product of that scene. Apparently, the song used for filming was AC/DC’s “Back in Black.” Cool folks on the internet have attempt to show that off so check this shit out: 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As part of a double feature with Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter, I watched Back to the Future (1985) for the first time. Yes, the first time. I know how shameful for a 28-year-old such as myself. 

I genuinely felt that the best descriptor for the film was "cute". It was cute! It’s one of those movies that I felt like I had really already seen due to how references to it have permeated our culture. 

I can understand why the film is a classic. The way Crispin plays George McFly makes him an incredibly endearing character. I loved the “George-isms” that Crispin created, that carry over from old George to young George. It’s excellent work.

I think Back to the Future is talked about too much, in all honesty, and especially with the whole lawsuit and incredibly harmful shit that happened to Crispin with Back to the Future II, a movie which I straight up refuse to see. 

But yeah, all that aside, Back to the Future was cute and a fun time. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shout out to the free streaming service Tubi, which has been incredible kind to me and provided SO many of the films on my list. 

One of those films is Bartleby (2001). Bartleby is a surrealist, sit-com-style office comedy film adaptation of Herman Melville's short story "Bartleby, the Scrivener". Crispin plays Bartleby, and genuinely ends up having few lines except for, of course, “I would prefer not to” or some iteration of that. 

This film ended up being Supremely My Shit in terms of what I look for in a comedy. 

I LOVED this movie, so much so that I now own it on DVD and plan to show it to everyone. I cannot recommend it enough. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Next up, Wizard of Gore (2007). A splatter/noir horror film. This is a remake of the 1970 film of the same name. 

I will say that this film, overall, wasn’t that great. It has some highlights though! For instance, Crispin hams it up as a wacko magician who has an outrageously huge codpiece. And, oh hey! Brad Dourif and Jeffrey Combs are in it! 

As I’ve sat with this one, it’s one where I can say the performance that Crispin gives is the real draw here. He’s absolutely perfect for something so strange and unusual as this. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now, I should back up and take some time to talk about Willard (2003). I have a lot of thoughts, as well as some fun facts. 

This remake of a 1971 film of the same name, which in turn was based off of the Stephen Gilbert novel Ratman’s Notebooks, is a standout so far for the films I've seen Crispin Glover in. I knew going into viewing it that it was well regarded in his filmography. I can understand why! It's incredible. 

It is a horror movie but not in the way that is typical. To me, the horror lies in the treatment of Willard, particularly in the workplace. And then, of course, later the horror continues but more in the form of self-inflicted acclimation of choices made by Willard (if only he were nicer to Ben! Oh, things would’ve been different). I do believe reading the rats as a force of nature as an element of horror is pretty accurate.

Though the part that make this film an instant comfort movie for me/a film that immediately went on my "get to know me movies list" is Crispin's performance and the framing of Willard's abuse in the workplace. I have some pretty bad workplace-related trauma from sustained abuse by past and previous employers. I have to admit to feeling some level of catharsis in relating to the Willard character, as well as viewing him as a kind of hero despite serious pitfalls and gruesome mistakes throughout, including a variety of self-inflicted repression of emotion and being (also I'd say the character is neurodivergent-coded, and thats highly relatable to me). I also think that [spoilers] when he kills his boss with a horde of rats--not for himself, entirely, but for Socrates--I felt that in my core like, yes, it's so much harder to stand up for yourself, even if you can't take more abuse, but it's easier when you have something rally behind or protect or avenge, in this situation. Am I thinking too hard about the contents of a 2003 horror movie? Probably. 

Anyway. The rats are awesome in this film too, as is the performance of R. Lee Ermey. I wish New Line Cinemas let the film be rated R. I feel like more gore and Ermey riffing off strings of cursing would've been nice. Apparently, there was an R-rated version but it is lost now. I've been able to view some of the deleted scenes and I can see where an R-rated version could have been. 

A great aspect of promotional materials for Willard was that Crispin Glover recorded a cover of Michael Jackson's "Ben" (yes, it's about the rat). It's my understanding the original song was recorded for the 1973 sequel to Willard, also titled Ben. Anyway, the music video for Glover's take on "Ben" was also directed by him. It's an absolute treat. Check it out: 

While I have you here, I'd like to let you know that the opening credits of Willard feature imagery from Glover's own published book -- Rat Catching. Rat Catching, published in 1988, is a heavily illustrated piece of visual and textural art built from the 1896 book Studies in the Art of Rat Catching.

Crispin has published other works similar to Rat Catching: Oak Mot (1989), Concrete Inspection (1990), What it is, and How it is Done (1992), and Round My House (2016). In each he rearranges text, blacks out certain standing passages (a la blackout poetry), and adds his own prose and occasionally images into the margins and elsewhere, thus creating an entirely new story. Plus, as is my understanding, a visual feast for the eyes. 

GUESS WHAT THE COOLEST PART ABOUT THESE BOOKS ARE?! You can get em directly from the guy himself! Literally. You can chuck $30-ish + shipping at him directly (metaphorically, of course) and you'll get a book. 

I fully intend to get my hands on at least a few of them... or all of them, ya know, casually. If you also think these books sound rad as fuck, here's the website: crispinglover.com. Do it. Go get an awesome book created by an awesome artist. It's cool to do. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On my TV back a few weeks ago was Twister (1989). 

From what I had previously read about the film, it billed as a comedy but in actuality it is more drama. It is an adaptation of the the novel Oh by Mary Robison. 

The film features music by Hans Zimmer, a cameo by William S. Burroughs, and, of course, a late 80s Crispin Glover doing his weird lil thing that I love oh so much. It was... bizarre!! 

I can’t really say if it is good or bad--it just is. I can’t even say if the ending is good or bad, it simply is what it is. Having sat with it for a while, I can appreciate Twister for eliciting emotion. I was pretty fed up with some of the character and confused at their motivations but at least it got me thinking about what was happening and asking the question “what are they doing and why?” That’s important in its own right. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Let me just say, I was VERY excited to watch We Have Always Lived in the Castle (2018). I am a huge fan of the original novel, which I read when I was much younger. I remember starting to watch this film when it came to Netflix in 2019 but failing to finish it due to life events (I think we were moving), but I can say now that I have finished watching it! 

I am happy to report that We Have Always Lived in the Castle is a fairly faithful adaptation of the novel, give or take, and was really enjoyable to see. I feel like it is a hard novel to adapt since Merricat is an unreliable narrator and it is all told from her perspective, but I think this film does a solid job illustrating that. 

I'm generally very pleased with the framing of the characters in the adaptation and the performances are great. I don't think anyone else could do Charles except for Sebastian Stan. He's so good at playing a total dick.

On that note, I don't think anyone else could've played Julian Blackwood like Crispin Glover. Comparing to the novel, I had no idea how to really imagine Julian in a lot of instances but seeing this character performed in this way makes SO much more sense to me. Incredible work.

I could probably go on, but I highly recommend checking it out for yourself, especially if you're a fan of the novel! 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ohhh Lucky Day (2019)! It was AWESOME. Though, I didn’t keep enough detailed thoughts about it so I apologize for a short and sweet overview of some highlights. 

I swear to god this film must've flown under the radar when it came out because I hadn't heard of it until recently (but I distinctly remember seeing showtimes for it back when it came out). 

It was a damn good time. Crispin plays a contract killer of sorts who has the most over-the-top French accent (despite not being French at all) and every scene he's in is golden. His serious demeanor for some of the more ridiculous scenes just works and brought a big stupid grin to my face.  

I’ve seen this film twice now it’s just a masterfully done action/comedy/drama--and yes, it really does blend the genres so well. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Before I take a break from letting this live in my drafts, I want to talk about a big one for me: Guillermo del Toro’s Cabinet of Curiosities, Episode 5: “Pickman's Model”. The one that started this journey. And I know, I'm so utterly late to the party! I live in my own lil horror-themed film bubble most of the time until I find some performances I enjoy and really gnaw on, for lack of a better word. So this kicked it off entirely.

The whole show is a standout for me. I enjoyed every single episode and every story. I think the most technically scary was “Lot 36″ and the most relatable to me in the way it is framed is “The Outside”. Upon my first watch of the show, I just knew I'd be head over heels for the “Pickman’s Model” retelling. It's my favorite Lovecraft story, and I just love that integration of tangible art and eldritch horror. It's just the best. 

I feel that the adaptation is very strong, and a great depiction of a more modern Lovecraft despite the setting and time period. I loved all the lil reference drops to other works in the Cthulhu Mythos throughout as well -- such a nice touch. 

I felt the relationship that Thurber and Pickman have is so utterly bizarre and my own explanation for why there is a draw there is that "the darkness" itself as described and felt by both character acts as an allegory for queerness. I might be um biased, being a queer person and all, but that's just me. I think it's also valid to interpret the whole relationship as like human curiosity--like hell yeah I'd also be fascinated by this guy's art, if not also a bit frightened! So the draw is simply explained that way... if you so choose. Lots of ways to go on that end of things, and that's rad. 

There is such a a genuine level of depth and understanding of character in the way Crispin plays Pickman. I swear there's not even that much depth in the original Lovecraft story! It's just all on this adaptation, the director, and his performance. It's outstanding, and he really steals the show (and my heart) in this one particularly.  

A lot of folks, and I mean A LOT, didn't seem to appreciate the the truly old-timey Bostonian accent. I see ya’ll out there. C'mon, he worked with THE Erik Singer for that accent to sounds as true-to-time-period as possible -- at least respect it but I find it fascinating how that, being as normal for that setting as it is, given an extra level of strangeness to Pickman as a character (namely because nobody else is doing that, give or take. There are some Massachusetts accents here and there from other characters but there's not really the same level of commitment). 

Also, I thought the way they did Pickman's sketchbook up as a multi-media and textural kinda piece in and of itself was a nice touch -- felt like that was purposely laid out specifically with Crispin in mind to play off the works he creates. Not quite, of course, but I think that's neat and how I’m choosing to read into it. 

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 16/03/2024 (Ariana Grande's eternal sunshine, 4batz/Drake)

For a fourth week, Beyoncé holds the throne on the UK Singles Chart with “TEXAS HOLD ‘EM”. Outside of that, it’s Ariana Grande week, so welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

Rundown

Before we get to Ari or, well, anything else, we always start with our notable dropouts, those being songs dropping out of the UK Top 75, which is what I cover, after five weeks in the region or a peak in the more prestigious top 40. This week in particular, we bid adieu to: “Overcompensate” by twenty one pilots (not a surprise there, it seems like a pretty inaccessible lead single), “Forever” by Noah Kahan, “On My Love” by Zara Larsson and David Guetta, “Fast Car” by Tracy Chapman, “Perfect (Exceeder)” by Mason and Princess Superstar and finally, “Popular” by The Weeknd, Playboi Carti and Madonna.

As for our re-entries and gains, God, it was a big day for those this week, especially given not much else was going on between the top 20 and well, everything else. Mitski’s “My Love Mine All Mine” is back at #75, “Make You Mine” by Madison Beer is back at #53 (great!) and two well-deserved awards show boosts are present here - Jungle, the BRIT Awards’ Best British Group, re-enter at #43 with the incredible “Back on 74” and thanks to Billie Eilish getting her Oscar win for Best Original Song, the equally incredible “What Was I Made For?” zooms back at #16. It’s pretty impressive that there are four re-entries here, all in vastly different spaces of the chart, and they’re all fantastic. As for the gains, we see a lot, scouring pretty much all of the chart, so let’s any% speedrun this section: “Thank You (Not So Bad)” by FBI’s top six most wanted criminals at #68, “Anti-Hero” by Taylor Swift at #65, “Happier” by The Blessed Madonna and Clementine Douglas at #61 and okay, break - that song apparently samples “Du hast” by Rammstein, which I just didn’t hear last week when it debuted. Despite being a classic on rock radio all over Europe, the song never charted in the UK’s top 100, and I always preferred “Sonne”. Now back to the list: “Would You (go to bed with me?)” by Campbell and Alcemist at #60, “ONE CALL” by Rich Amiri at #59, freaking “Baby Shark” at #57, “I Remember Everything” by Zach Bryan featuring Kacey Musgraves at #55, “Green & Gold” by Rudimental and Skepsis featuring Charlotte Plank and Riko Dan at #54 (not really excited for how a trend of the 2020s is having so many artists credited), “FE!N” by Travis Scott featuring Playboi Carti at #41, “Evergreen” by Richy Mitch & the Coal Miners at #37, “Austin” by Dasha at #25, “Kitchen Stove” by Pozer at #22, and finally, thanks to the release of her album, “yes, and?” by Ariana Grande rebounds to #6, just outside the range for our next segment.

Now for our top five, starting with “Lose Control” by Teddy Swims at #5, “End of Beginning” by Djo at #4, and Ariana Grande landing her second top 10 hit in this week, the clunkily two-titled “we can’t be friends (wait for your love)” at #3. Obviously, there’s more on that later. As for the rest, it’s to be expected: Beyoncé leads and the pack and Benson Boone’s “Beautiful Things” isn’t far behind at #2. Now for… less beautiful things, let’s dissect some of the new entries we have here.

New Entries

#71 - “if u think i’m pretty” - Artemas

Produced by Artemas and Daintree

Alright, I’ll bite: who the Hell are Artemas? Or Daintree for that matter? Well, Artemas Diamandis is a budding singer-songwriter with a questionable moustache who’s popular on social media, with this being a breakout hit from October last year, though it now of course has slowed and sped-up versions because the world is not safe from TikTok’s impact on popular music. Daintree seems to be Artemas’ go-to producer, and the two wrote this alt-pop song about a toxic relationship where to put it bluntly, he needs to pick up his standards. There’s a unique androgyny to Mr. Diamandis’ voice and it actually meshes very well - at least his falsetto does - into the vaguely eerie synth distortion and haunting elements very fitting for a song released in late October. I think the effects end up a bit overdone sometimes, attempting to make up for an underwritten song, and I really don’t like how the snare sounds, even if the constantly repeating vocal chop, and the way the lead vocal melody ends up stuck in a jam with it, is really clever, there was a lot of effort put into the song’s sound design, it just doesn’t really translate into a full song for me, especially at barely two minutes. Cool ideas are definitely here though.

#70 - “Uh Uh” - Clavish and Fredo

Produced by KP Beatz

We don’t have many other new names here: Clavish, Fredo, Nathan Dawe - they’re staples of UK chart weeks in the 2020s - and Drake and Ari are inescapable, so this’ll be a pretty familiar episode I feel, which is kind of refreshing. I mean, I’ve been listening to ratrace90210 and Yeat and Butterfly Boy, there’s something relaxing about knowing partly what you’ll have to say about something going into it. With that said, even I was surprised with how cheap and basic the piano and flute sounds in this beat were, the piano in particular really sticks out and unintentionally sounds off-beat due to just how basic the loop is. I would prefer for more layers of the RPG-sounding flute, but once the trap beat comes in, it’s easy to ignore some of the lacking melodies, it goes pretty hard and has much more of a pace than Clavish’s usual output. He’s definitely improving as a rapper too, the sheer length that he goes on for considering the wordy flow and delivery he chooses is kind of impressive and there are some interesting lines, particularly when he… denies living the life in his raps which is just surprising if anything. The way the “uh-uh” ad-lib is implemented sounds a bit tacky sometimes but given the rhyme scheme often delivers a similar sound, it can be pretty seamless sometimes as a call-and-response, it’s just a shame that Clavish doesn’t have the personality to sell it more. Fredo does though and this is an incredible verse from him. His cold rhetorical questions, much more developed rhyme schemes than Clavish, and how much more command he has of his flow despite using a similar one to his fellow rapper and even taking time to be further off of the beat… it really shows who’s been in the game for longer. “I hit any girl I want like a woman beater” is a crazy bar though, I have no idea how to feel about that, and he doesn’t really give you the time to think about it.

#66 - “We Ain’t Here for Long” - Nathan Dawe

Produced by Nathan Dawe, Neave Applebaum and Punctual

Nathan Dawe and its three ghost producers are back in the top 75 with a song I… already had liked? Yeah, this song is from early February, and I don’t know in what context I heard it but I should say that this is, for Dawe’s standard, a pretty great track. The singer is Sam Harper, a songwriter who’s worked with… BTS? Damn, well, okay, make that bank, girl, you can probably live off of that and don’t need to take credit for the heavily filtered vocals here that stand out in a mix that feels a bit barebones: it has the boiled-down essentials of a modern Eurodance jam but not much more, and that really picks up the pace in an “end-of-the-world” kind of way. She sings that she’s barely holding on and she’s got to live her life before it’s gone, with every element of this song feeling like it wants to just make way with itself and flee, and that’s definitely a compliment in this case, there’s a certain frantic sense to how the ATB-esque acoustic guitar drop is placed into staccato formation like old video game music. With how much the song wants to be done, you’d think it’d peter out by two minute, but no, we get that fizzling and striking bridge where Harper laments how much she’s doing for other people just to feel empty in return. We immediately get back to dancing of course, but after that resonant bridge, it hits way harder than it did before, with both Harper and Dawe adding little tricks into the final chorus, whether that be a change in the inflection, an added refrain of “I gotta live my life” or a flashy pre-drop glitch. It’s all very obsessed with desperately wanting to stop existing and for a trance song in an ever-increasing dystopia of how we live now, this feels particularly relevant… and it would be pretty poetic for the UK in particular to make this a hit in 2024. And please do, it’s great.

#18 - “act ii: date @ 8” - 4batz featuring Drake

Produced by Untitled Beatz and 40

Okay, firstly: Official Charts Company finally correctly recognises a remix’s popularity and credits accordingly. Nice. Secondly… sigh. So I gave a lukewarm review to Bryson Tiller’s “Whatever She Wants” on its debut week but pretty much immediately, I’m talking the day after, it clicked with me and I’ve been slightly obsessed with it. It actually has me excited for how rappers, singers, rap-singers and sing-rappers are going to implement non-Atlanta trap elements into R&B and vice versa as we get more diversive rap landscape with hyphy, Detroit trap, drill, Jersey club, dembow, Afrobeats and more competing for further influence in mainstream rap. Tiller and the beat both chug at a constant level and only stop to murmur tensely before piling right back into action. The beat sounds like if Rick Ross was on a treadmill and instead of really trying to sing, Mr. Tiller just tries to keep up, even if it leads to him doing brief harmonic riffs and pausing for sound effects. The original “act ii: date @ 8” by 4batz, which lands on its chorus by accident, has a similar appeal in its vintage shimmering keys and more organic-sounding bass, though I hadn’t heard it before the Drake remix. 4batz goes for an adolescent delivery that makes its determined, one-minute-and-done young love feel even more weightless and fluttery. I wish it didn’t go for the cop-out not-really-all-that-chopped and only-technically-screwed outro of course, but otherwise, it’s pretty decent and oh, the big-name remix essentially plays the song unchanged and then has Drake rap over that exhausted, slowed-down version. The youthful, Hell, maybe even childlike, lovestruck song empowered by its brevity is extended to a lethargic nearly four minute track, the majority of which consists of what sounds like a reject from not even For All the Dogs, more like Certified Lover Boy. There’s an oddly homoerotic passage in the middle, then he interpolates the original just to rhyme it with “I’m a stand-up guy like Dave Chappelle”. Sure. If this helps a newer and more interesting R&B artist to launch a career, it’ll be a net positive, but this version is a butchering of the original’s spirit in my opinion.

#13 - “bye” - Ariana Grande

Produced by Ariana Grande, Max Martin and ILYA

Okay, let’s get this out of the way: I liked two tracks off of Ari’s #1 album eternal sunshine: “the boy is mine” and “I wish I hated you”. Like always, her intro was pretty sweet too. I have vaguely more long-form first impressions on RateYourMusic, but I’m mostly just turned off by the nothingness the album presents: a trendy, vaguely pleasant pop-R&B album for sure, but not one that takes many risks - which Ariana can do - or makes use of its more cinematic production to help the songs get any stickier. Sometimes she sticks the landing, but mostly I did not care for it and couldn’t get myself immersed. Yet I’ve been listening to abstract cloud rap, underground plunderphonics of both the folkish ambiance nature and layered nu-disco instrumentation, and primarily, nu metal, so take all of that with a grain of salt. Like I said about 4bats, sometimes I’m not sure why I still write this show. With that said, there’s a lot less I have to say about these Ariana songs than I think I’d have wanted to. This one, strikingly, has had Ariana speak on it being too emotional and her not wanting to erase ALL of the humanity from it. Huh. That’s definitely reflected in the rote disco groove and oddly fuzzy bass which does add some texture but doesn’t make the lead vocal melody in the chorus any less… obvious. In fact, that’s really my main problem with this record: it’s obvious. The pre-chorus sounds genuinely brilliant, this is a gorgeous vocal performance from Ari and that swell is fantastic, but it ends up going for a kiss-off that’s undetailed and non-specific outside of name-dropping her friend Courtney… who the fuck is Courtney? The whole album’s vulnerable but never in a way that fully immersed me, it feels a bit closed-off not in an aggressive way but in a “the bridge over the moat has yet to be lowered kind of way”. Drake’s whole passage about his three different Jasons in “Away from Home” accurately displays my emotional connection with eternal sunshine but the difference here is that Drake very much knows that you don’t know who these people or events are and plays into that to construct his narratives. These Ariana Grande songs just feel oddly distant, and for a triumphant dance-pop song, I want to be IN the moment, not a peasant looking up at a celebration in the tower. Just saying.

#3 - “we can’t be friends (wait for your love)” - Ariana Grande

Produced by Ariana Grande, Max Martin and ILYA

More than half of our debuts this week are in lowercase, I guess this really is a muted week. Speaking of muted, this was oddly a bit of a sleeper hit within the week, having its music video and SNL performance give a lukewarm first day room to breathe and a bit of a boost for the whole album but especially this… and it’s a blocky synthpop pastiche, and I MEAN blocky. One of my least favourite tracks on the album and really one of Ari’s worst ever in my opinion, this goes for the one thing I don’t think she could ever sell: a discussion of Ariana’s relationship with the media, doubling as a relationship story. You can see similar interpretations of thank u, next but even if I don’t like that record, I will give it props for its depths and honestly, its stakes and the tragedy that surrounds that album and its predecessor. This track though... what informed this? What informed the backlash-to-the-backlash towards critics in the chorus? What informed the tumultuous nature of Ariana’s pop culture ups and downs this time? What informed the grotesquely unwarranted orchestral outro? Oh, right, nothing to care about. I used to be a Kanye fan, artful self-indulgence is not something I’m opposed to - Hell, go for it and more - but when the writing is purposefully secretive and vague, the lead vocal melodies are so staccato that Ari has to push character out of them through just her inherent personality, which itself is a fragile beast and most importantly, it sounds a cloudy fuzz of parodic ass with conveyor-belt synths standing sore in the mix… I’m left questioning why I should allow myself to give it my time. Given that ending line of the second verse, it also makes me wonder if Ms. Grande even wants me to. Hard pass on this - “the boy is mine” was right there as a single, this feels like an easy cop-out for an album that had a shaky first week.

Conclusion

Yes, Ari gets Worst of the Week for “we can’t be friends (wait for your love)”, as much as I wish she didn’t, with a Dishonourable Mention to… Drake. Drake gets the Dishonourable Mention for ruining a promising song in “act ii: date @ 8” by 4batz. As for the best, it should be an obvious lock for Nathan Dawe with “We Ain’t Here for Long”, as Artemas taking an Honourable Mention for “if u think i’m pretty”, I could see some better songs coming from this guy if we give him more than one chance at a hit. I don’t envision much of intrigue in the coming week, but regardless, thank you for reading, rest in peace to Eric Carmen, and I’ll see you next week!

[lilac-read]

Flat Stanley is a weird book.

First off, Stanley is dead. He's literally just dead. Buddy got crushed in his sleep by a bulletin board. He is legit described as being half an inch thick. Mans is DEAD.

Secondly, THERES JUST SUBTLE POLICE COMMENTARY???? Mrs. Lambchop gets called cuckoo by the police, but when they realize that she wasn't lying about her son being at the bottom of a storm drain, she tells them to think before they speak, and they're just like, "hey! Yeah! We should start doing that" Am I reading too much into this, or is that just a genuine commentary???

Third, WHO JUST MAILS THEIR CHILD???? WHAT IS THIS? A CLICKBAIT YOUTUBE FAMILY CHANNEL VIDEO FROM 2016??? THAT'S HORRIBLY IRRESPONSIBLE!!!!

Fourth, why is no one in the story addressing how hard this has made things for Arthur? Arthur is jealous because his brother is flat, but like, he's a child! Arthur is trying his best here. Don't be a jerk to Arthur because he wants to be cool and have friends.

And another thing, Mr. Lambchop is a horrible husband. Mrs. Lambchop tells him that she's having a hard time with the boys, and that he has no idea because he's always at work, and he just DISMISSES HER FEELINGS! HE BASICALLY SAYS THAT BOYS WILL BE BOYS AND CALLS IT A NIGHT!

The whole museum plot came out of left field and didn't really make much sense tbh. Why is this child being used to catch most-likely dangerous art thieves? Like, I get that it was his idea, but DONT LET THE CHILD BE STOLEN TO CATCH THESE THIEVES!!!! THIS WHOLE BOOK IS CHILD ABUSE!!!! ALSO, THIS WOULD NEVER WORK! NO CHILD WOULD BE ABLE TO SIT STILL FOR THAT LONG WITHOUT MOVING HIS EYES AROUND OR BLINKING!!!

These are the least responseable parents ever. 'lets let our child stand on spikes all night in a museum that's been getting robbed lately' OH YEAH, GREAT IDEA, FANTASTIC PARENTING LAMBCHOPS!!!

Also, the noses in the pictures are weird, what's up with that? Like, get it I guess but they're just not a very aesthetic choice.

BUT ANYWAYS, THE FACT THAT THE THIEVES LITERALLY SAID THAY THEY WOULD KILL A PERSON IF THEY TRIED TO CATCH THEM!! WHAT THE HECK!!!!!

I feel like when my elementary school was into Flat Stanley, we kinda missed the anti-bullying point. We literally started calling one kid Flat Stanley lol. Also, Mrs. Lambchop spitting facts, don't make fun of people based on religion, race, or body shape.

Arthur is such a good brother, and I feel like he doesn't get enough credit. He's so supportive of Stanley, and I feel like nobody ever mentions Arthur Lambchop. I didn't even remember him until I read the book again. He really tries so hard to help Stanley get back to normal. But being on the internet for so long has made that scene unreadable (my brain hurts)

I feel like Stanley going back to normal isn't a great ending though. It just kind of invalidates everything that just happened in the book. The whole point is gone.

And one last thing. We need to address why the bulletin board fell on him in the first place. His parents are just the worst.

thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

[master-of-the-railway]

Answering @septemberofgenders' ask in a new post bc I deleted the original ask on accident.

(under the cut bc I AM SO NORMAL ABT THIS AU)

The general idea is that Luz, King, Willow, and Hunter all somehow end up on Sodor. Gus, Amity, and Vee all stay in the boiling isles though. Another important note is that the "present day" events for the kids on Sodor takes place during the cgi series. Exactly when I'm not certain, but the current idea is maybe a year or two before the BWBA era would've started. I've also debated on pushing TMR to take place a little closer to the beginning of the cgi series for this au, maybe a few years prior to Hunter's arrival.

Luz and Willow both got there around the same time when they were just a few months old each. Luz ended up being adopted by Sir Topham Hatt as his daughter, and Willow became the adopted daughter of Jenny Packard. Neither of them remember anything from their birthplaces, and they actually have completely new names from their adoptive parents, I just haven't solidly decided on their new names yet. So for now I'll call them by their birth names until their new names get decided. Luz loves Sodor and couldn't imagine living anywhere else. She's fully aware that she is adopted but has no urge to seek out her birth family. Why would she need to? She's got everything she could want right here! She's grown up seeing the engines pretty much every morning, the engines' drivers and firemen think she's a good kid, and Luz considers the steam engines to be her family. She especially likes hanging out with Gordon and Thomas, they're likely her favorites out of the entire group. Willow sometimes wonders if her birth parents miss her but tries not to think about it too much. The construction crew considers her their baby sister and they love her to bits, she does have a crush on Hunter, though the two don't see each other that often due to the odd living situation he has. Luz and Willow are the BEST of friends and they go to the same school, Luz would stand up against kids who tried to bully Willow, and Willow would help Luz understand school assignments she struggled to grasp. They're always there for each other and they especially love hanging out during the summer.

Hunter ended up there at 6 years old, he hadn't become old enough for Belos to start doing major damage to him, so he was incredibly desperate to return back to the boiling isles and his "uncle". Mr. Conductor stumbled across the poor kid and when Hunter explained his situation, the kind man offered to look after him and help him find a way back to his home realm…that is until MC noticed that Hunter displayed obvious signs of having grown up in a less than fantastic household. So, MC gave up the search and convinced Hunter to come back to Shining Time with him. MC made sure he got the poor kid a licensed therapist and lots of love so that he might start to heal. Hunter now lives in his own special room at the Shining Time train station as MC’s younger brother. He remembered that he'd been training to be the Golden Guard, so he gave himself the label of the Golden Conductor as he was now training to be a magical conductor like his older brother. He has his own uniform and supply of gold dust, and he's one of the few who knows about Lady's existence. He's definitely a lot better off than canon Hunter was at his age. Hunter remembered his name just fine, so he's pretty much the only one of the crew who keeps his birth name (again, King, Willow, and Luz's new names are undecided).

King was transported there when he was just a year old. In this au, Eda had found him not long after he'd hatched, and she took him home to raise him as he'd reached out to her just as any baby witch would. Her poor heart just couldn't say no to the little guy. He was her whole world and she'd constantly brag to her friends about her adorable little "demon" son, whom she'd named King, and he made her life so much better. Which is why Eda became a shambled mess when King disappeared and she couldn't find him. She became a rough and closed off witch, doubling down on her criminal acts and hesitating less to attack coven members as she was confident they had taken King from her. Eventually she met with Raine again and the two became allied, slowly re-kindling their relationship…and then Darius crashed in and became the third member of the alliance! Raine and Darius are pretty much two of the only people that Eda trusts nowadays. She's a pretty closed off person and both of her partners (yes they are a polycule in this au, I am not immune okay-) worry about her a lot, but they do their best to help her out with the grief that she just can't seem to let go of. Eda's commonly referred to as "The Owl Witch", as the emperor didn't think "owl lady" was serious enough. She's not just a lady, she's a dangerous wild witch with a curse that turns her into a monster that only two people can control…but Belos has never seen the faces of her two assistants. They're always wearing masks to hide…

King, however, has a very happy and comfortable life on the island of Sodor. While he was a very strange and shocking surprise that Luz brought home one night, King became a welcomed addition to the Hatt family and was treated just as Luz had been: one of their own. He's much more comfortable wearing clothes as Eda had put him in onesies when she had him and the Hatt family kept it up, he's one distinguished little guy! He's pretty close with Topham's grandkids, seeing as they're closer in age than King is to his older sisters and brother, especially considering that Charles and Barbara are both adults and don't live with their parents anymore. He and Luz do know them though! They get along pretty well. *Important Note: King's horn wasn't broken in this au, he very much still has both horns with no damage to either of them.

Amity ended up being the one to find and comfort Gus back in the isles. He clung to her from then on out, and Amity became his protector against bullies. They train together and Gus is a lot less insecure about his illusion magic having Amity at his side, he's the only one that she's soft around, and she's constantly encouraging him to get better and showing him books to improve with. They're pretty inseparable, and the only reason Amity's parents don't disapprove is because Odalia had witnessed Gus' power firsthand once. The kid's got a lot of potential, it just needs to be trained.

[sophieswundergarten]

@nobody33333333, I finally did it!!!

Alrighty, it has taken me ages to get around to finishing all of this, because of unfortunately unavoidable things, but I am done with the semester now and so ready to spew all of my thoughts on the unsuspecting audience of poor people who follow me.

So, without further ado, I present:

Sophie's Unhinged and Excessively Hyperactive Word-Vomit "Review" of Chapter 11 of S.O.S.

Ooooh, Curtain’s evil villain motivations for tipping the boys off balance is so sinister. It’s interesting, because he is using the same tactics he used on/around Nicholas when they were children. Just. The narrative parallels.

Garrison!!

She’s so funny. Even with all she’s been through, she sees right through Curtain to his theater kid core.

(It’s still really sad, though, because she doesn’t get why he’s trying to get her opinion and he keeps forcing her)

“For someone who was fine bypassing ethical standards to rush their timeline, Curtain still put a ridiculous amount of effort into aesthetics. Not that any of this would matter if his new messengers didn’t adapt to The Whisperer.” It just hits so hard, for some reason. Maybe because you can really understand the difference of perspective between her and Curtain.

Oh!! “psychics or telepaths”, we’re getting somewhere!

It makes a lot of sense that the Whisperer tech would pick that kind of thing up!! That’s so clever, and very much something Garrison would take into account. You are so good at putting these little details into it that give the story so much more dimension and open up a lot more paths for the characters to take.

Lindsey!!! Lindsey gets a part and can do things!! I’m so excited for her :) 

Aaaaand she’s got a crush on Isaac. I can’t believe you’ve gotten me extremely invested in this as soon as I got to that line. She’s so sweet, though! I’m excited to see more of her.

And you can tell Garrison is trying to be nice, even though she’s having a breakdown fifty percent of the time and doesn’t really want to deal with teenagers.

It cracks me up that they made a full model of Reynie. Why. Just, why. Did he leave some of his clothes behind? I feel like it would have been better to make one of Kate. You can’t tell me they looked at Madge and went “Yes. I am certain that Reynie, our resident soft-hearted child who’d probably cry if he saw this bird eat a live mouse, he is the one who will be most in-tune with this child. Not Kate, no. There’s no way that the girl who was raised by a circus would be the one who will volunteer to handle the actual falcon we’re about to send to them”

I’m so proud of Number Two for breaking Madge out of a terrible zoo. 10/10 No Comments, one of the best plot points I’ve seen.

Also, this Madge perspective is so cool! Omniscient narrators don’t always remember that they can do anything, but this was a fantastic usage of it.

She’s trying so hard. Madge has made no mistakes ever she’s beautiful.

MISS PERUMAL YEAH

““Oh, Hello.” replied Nicholas awkwardly, hoping that this woman, who clearly cared about Reynie, wouldn’t notice the newly destroyed dummy that happened to be wearing one of his sweater vests.” Ajasdjgadskjl What even. He’s so silly, but that is certainly not a situation you want to be in with Miss Perumal.

I’ve said it before, but the little descriptions and dialogue tags you add to the lines from the show are so good!!! Just tiny things, like calling her “the woman” and then immediately switching to “Dipika” when she introduces herself make it so incredibly amazing. You don’t have to worry at all about it being “boring” or “redundant” because people have already seen the show.

And now we’re sad again because of Milligan. I love him but he is so full of melancholy right now :( 

I love how you’ve been incorporating Mr. Benedict’s tendency to just adopt every single child into Curtain’s character. He may not be going about it properly, or for the right reasons, but he’s just as inclined to take in (abduct) children as his brother.

Isaac cameo!!

The details in how you explain all of the tech, from the Whisperer to the Waiting Room, is ingenious and thrilling to read and I am loving it!!

It just repeats people’s thoughts!! It’s not really like an AI, more of an echo chamber that can project into people’s minds, that is so neat!

Of course, Reynie is able to distance himself by thinking about Miss Perumal, that is such a good paragraph.

And the Curtain/Nicholas parallels are back again!! He’s such a contradiction; He misses his brother and wants him back, but he also can’t stand when things remind him of Nicholas. Oh boy this man needs so much therapy goodness gracious.

Good job, Reynie for being cautious!!

Oh. Oh no this is one of my least favourite bits it’s just so awkward aaahhhhhhh

“The first thing Number Two had done was quickly search Miss. Perumal’s bags for weapons, which was fine with Dipika, since she knew that Number Two wouldn’t find anything (no one ever did).” This is why she’s one of the best characters ever. I did really like the book version, of course, but I also love the way they changed her into Pink Biker Vigilante Mom.

AAAHHHH YOUR WAY OF DESCRIBING HER THOUGHTS IS SO COOL. “Dipika Perumal had met people who wanted to hurt children. She had met people who hated children, who even enjoyed hurting them. She knew what that looked like in a person, you could see it in their faces. And she could see that Mr. Benedict and his companions were not those people. But just because they didn’t enjoy hurting children didn’t mean they wouldn’t use them, and it didn’t mean they weren’t up to anything nefarious.” YES. OH MY WORD SO GOOD.

Also Mr. Benedict being like “Yes, if I tell this lady that my recently discovered twin brother is behind all of this, it will definitely give me credibility. This is the best option”

There’s something about Number Two fixating on the food as a way to enter the conversation/be sure that if something goes wrong she’ll be there that rings very true to me. She anxious about this, and she wants to protect Mr. Benedict and exert some kind of control because she couldn’t keep the house from being broken into and now they’re in the woods and she can’t keep Rhonda from wanting to quit and she couldn’t keep Miss Perumal from finding them and the only thing she can control right now is the stuff she makes with her own hands and she’s scared that she’s falling behind because of all her failures and you can feel that she just needs to do something. You do a good job of portraying that.

CAN YOU PLEASE STOP MAKING ME CRY OVER THESE CHARACTERS????? FOR FIVE SECONDS???? OH MY WORD

And poor Sticky is ashamed of admitting that he’s afraid of not being wanted, like he thinks he isn’t even worth being upset about how he’s been treated.

It’s been kind of intriguing to see Curtain’s feelings about Reynie and Sticky slowly switch.

And now we’re back to Mr. Benedict’s questionable attempts to explain himself. Why on earth would she need background for the information you just dropped on her about your brother? That certainly wasn’t something to be expected.

AKJFshad;asdfg Number Two just casually going “He’s narcoleptic, it’s fine. Please continue to enjoy your food” and the way you write Miss Perumal’s reaction!! She’s so baffled but she adapts, as she does.

Oh goodness, she thinks he’s crazy. I feel so bad for him because he’s had such awful experiences with that, but also from her perspective it’s totally justified.

I love how she initially was trying to be nice and not trigger him but immediately forgoes this to yell at him about sending children into an underground secret tunnel.

HILDEGARD

NO, OH, HILDEGARD. Sad :( 

“Garrison tried to believe that it was for the best. The helpers were happy at the Institute, which was more than she could say for herself.” Please, I will bake you muffins if you stop destroying me like this :((((

AND SHE KNOWS. SHE KNOWS THAT SHE’S HURT PEOPLE (And herself) IN THE PAST. BUT SHE CAN’T REMEMBER.

Oh my. He feels so guilty about how they might have hurt Milligan. And he’s so alone in that.

AND SHE KNOWS. SHE KNOWS THAT SHE’S HURT PEOPLE (And herself) IN THE PAST. BUT SHE CAN’T REMEMBER.

Oh my. He feels so guilty about how they might have hurt Milligan. And he’s so alone in that.

She knows!! She sees the button and that whole paragraph looking into how she feels about the situation and how she fought Curtain to avoid brainsweeping the children is bone-chilling I don’t know how you managed to make us feel that way when I know what’s going to happen it’s nuts how good at this you are.

Their decaying dynamic is driving me up a wall. She doesn’t get why Curtain cares about her, but she’s using it to her advantage, all the while Curtain’s still manipulating her, but he’s trying to do it in the least malicious way possible. (And he’s failing)

“the shock of Curtain realizing the situation she was imagining. A world where they were actually held accountable for what they were doing.”

Garrison’s little dive into Curtain’s weird delusions is very interesting. He really is unsettling, because he isn’t some mastermind who spends all his time distracting people from his real intentions, he’s spending just as much time trying to convince himself of what he’s telling others that he can’t see clearly anymore.

I really appreciate how you give Miss Perumal her own opinions and personality, but you keep her thoughts directed at Reynie. That’s a tough balance.

The narrative tension in the details of how Dipika leaves thinking that Mr. B and Co aren’t intentionally hurting people, but should be stopped nonetheless, and she doesn’t see how badly she’s shaken him is so good!!

More Perumal backstory!!!

SQ!!!!

Oh, this is one of my favourite scenes in the show, just for the lines and the mirror shots and everything, I’m so excited to see your take

Aw yeah, this is brilliant.

Let him go to college!!!! Let him do the things!! Let him do his art!!!

He wants his dad to be proud!! He’s trying so hard to frame it positively, but Curtain’s a wacko and he isn’t going to let him :( 

Let him have his confidence!! He could so definitely do it, I’m so sad :(

Garrison: “Hmm, I’m going to have a look at my readings, so I can maybe hypothesise about how I could possibly find the child” The Readings: “She was in your lab, you weirdo”

Wait. WHAT????? WHAT IS THIS, BODS????? EXCUSE ME???? I MEAN, I KNOW THIS FIC IS AMAZING AND I LOVE IT BUT WHAT????? I DIDN’T EXPECT THAT TO COME OUT OF NOWHERE AND HIT ME LIKE A TON OF BRICKS

Please don’t go and put your liver in jeopardy again, Doc. I don’t think anyone can take much more of that.

AJKSFhakjsgh You always manage to come swinging out of the blue with your chapter conclusions. Goodness. I think I need to go sit down, but I still have another chapter to read and I don’t know if I can wait!!

[billthedrake]

BIG DADDY (PART SEVEN)

(This is a story is a little departure from my normal, with bisexual content.)

It was a nice warm Spring day. Which in Texas is a nice hot Spring day. I was in a dress shirt and tie and a pair of lightweight wool trousers. I had on a pair of sunglasses to keep out the bright sun as I looked up on occasion to keep a look out.

Crouched before me was Officer Randy Slocum, in full uniform. He was on his way to his second shift and had met me in a parking lot in the industrial park on the edge of town.

"Fuck, that's nice, Randy," I hissed as the beefy cop went down on me. We weren't in a rush, and Slocum was taking his time. Soft, gentle licks at first, a few exploratory inches of sucking, then out right deep throat blow job.

Dan may have boasted he was a better cocksucker than Randy Slocum, but I gave the win to the cop.

It was crazy how my libido had spiked lately. The beach trip had made me only want more.

Cheryl's body was getting bigger now, and I realized I fricking loved preg sex. Loved seeing her belly and knowing I was the responsible man for it. She went through a nympho phase of three weeks and between me and Big Daddy, my wife's pussy was getting stuffed constantly.

It was like a second honeymoon, until another wave of hormones kicked in and Cheryl wasn't up for it. At all. I could sense Mark Bryant's frustration, and I noticed how he'd call the receptionist into his office each day for a closed-door meeting.

Me, I had Dan to take the brunt of my spiking libido. We made gym at lunch a regular thing, and my brother in law and I learned the joys of a quickie fuck in the gym shower stalls. I was always in a fantastic mood when I got back to the office, and it gave me a kick seeing Dan get into a real friendly, gregarious mood after he got a nut pounded out of him. I'm pretty sure Big Daddy knew what was up, but no one else was any the wiser.

I fucked Courtney again, too, though we were careful and didn't have a lot of opportunity. All for the best. Those tits and trimmed pussy were amazing, but kind of more the special occasion dessert than a day-to-day meal, you know?

But now Dan was traveling all week doing sales calls, and I was going up the wall with pent up need.

That's why Officer Slocum was going to town and was going to get fed a three day load.

"Goddamn, man, keep sucking... you're getting me there.... oh fuck!" I cried. By now I'd forgotten about keeping a look out, but we were good.

Randy excitedly swallowed my jizz. Like it was a special offering from the gods. Cheryl was a nympho (usually), Dan Bryant needed cock, Courtney was a slut, but Randy... Randy just seemed so grateful, and my absence in his life the last few months had made him even more so. I ruffled his buzz cut as he slurped the last of my seed.

"You were pretty worked up, Mr. Nick," he said when he finally pulled off. By now, Slocum knew my last name but his initial name for me had stuck.

"You don't even know the half of it, Randy," I said, stepping back from the cop and tucking back my spent prick into my trousers as I watched that rack of uniformed Texas beef stand up, a proud look on his face and a hard on in those pants.

He put his cap back on and looked at me with those baby blue eyes. "Happy to be of service, Mr. Nick. You know were to find me if you ever need it."

"Yeah, fuck," I hissed, zipping up. "Thanks Randy, you're the best."

And like that I walked back to my car.

****

I thought that would take the edge off but the next day at work I was feeling the major horns again. I watched through my office door as that 23-year-old receptionist walked over to Mark Bryant's office and shut the door.

I thought of hitting Slocum up for some head again, but his shift surely would have started already. Maybe Cheryl would be in the mood later, for a change, but I wasn't holding out hope.

As if by telepathy, I got a text. It was Courtney Bryant. "Hi Nick, any chance you could come by some time?" she asked.

"Sure, Court," I typed. "After work?"

Courtney had decided to be a stay at home mom. With those tits, if I were Dan I would have been spending my lunch hours at home fucking her instead of bending over for me in the showers, but that was his business.

I didn't know for sure that Courtney was angling for another fuck, but Dan was out of town and I was getting some bored housewife vibe off her. I was rock hard under my desk all afternoon and by 4 o'clock I couldn't take any more. I told the secretary I was taking off early but Mark could reach me on my cell phone if he needed anything. The boss's office door was closed and I wouldn't be surprised if the man was getting his balls drained a second time that day.

I rushed over to Dan and Courtney's place. Not the size of Big Daddy's mansion, but certainly more house than they really needed. It was all tricked out with the trendy finishes and cathedral ceiling in the entry way where Courtney ushered me in.

"Thanks for coming over, Nick," he said. Sorority polite but less chipper than her normal demeanor. "We need to talk."

Shit. She was having second thoughts. "Come on, Court, it's just a fun fling between us. Doesn't mean we can't..." Maybe not my smoothest move, but I was feeling blue balled and really wanted to get in her pants.

"Nick!" she interrupted. "I'm pregnant. Went to the doctor's today to confirm it."

"Yeah?" I said. "That's awesome Courtney. Congratulations." Then it sunk in. No one could accuse me of being the brightest guy at that moment. "Oh, it's mine isn't it?"

She looked like she was going to cry. "I'm 95% sure, Nick. Dan and I... we didn't do anything on that trip that would have gotten me pregnant."

It wasn't a healthy reaction, but my immediate emotion was pride my swimmers had gotten the job done. "Well, I have your back Courtney," I said. "Whatever you decide to do." I hoped she wasn't gonna fuck up my marriage by going public with the news, but I was prepared for that if it came to it. Though after Little Mike I had a feeling she wouldn't go there.

"Thanks, Nick," she smiled, a little relieved. "I'm keeping it, but Dan can't know who the father is."

"He's not gonna, Court," I said, puffing my chest out a little. "Promise." I felt a little bad for Dan. Two kids and neither of them his. But he was also brought it on himself. "A hug?" I offered.

She smiled and stepped up. We embraced. Fuck, the woman felt good. Soft, womanly, and I smelt her perfume. And of course those big hooters pressed into my chest. Those would only get bigger.

We kissed. More tenderly. I knew Court was emotionally keyed up. I was too, to be honest, though majorly horny, too.

"You can tell me to fuck off Court," I whispered. "But how bout we got celebrate the news?"

It felt extra naughty fucking Courtney in Dan's bed. Particularly as we went at it like lovers, slowly and softly in missionary position, until my thrusts picked up pace. She was in full-on heat, and I was reminded of her sexual need that day at the beach. And as I realized I was the one who knocked her up, I came.

We kissed and made out after. Then I told her I needed to get home. I'd bought an extra hour, but Cheryl would expect me back for dinner.

She nodded. "Nick... we can't make this a regular thing."

"I know, Court," I said, pulling on my briefs and my polo shirt. "But thanks for letting me know. I'm happy for you.... for real."

She gave a playful smile and slipped on a night shirt.

I gave her a final kiss at the door. "Later Courtney," I said.

It was a week to the day, when Dan pulled me aside at the office. "I got news for you, Nick, buddy.... turns out we're gonna have another baby."

I feigned ignorance and excitement. Surprisingly, I didn't feel like the heel I was.

***

It was Thursday late afternoon and I was wrapping up at the office. I hadn't gotten my workout in and was hoping to fit in a good one before getting home. But as I powered down my computer, Mark Bryant's tall, beefy body appeared at my doorway.

"Pack your bags, tonight, Brennan," he said. "We're going fishing this weekend. You, me, and Dan."

Yeah, Big Daddy loved being boss. I started to object but he just flashed a grin. "Don't worry, Helen's gonna look after Cheryl.... you can take a break from dutiful husband for a guy's weekend."

He exaggerated, but I had been doing more around the house now that Cheryl was nearly eight months pregnant and feeling more fatigued.

I did check in with my wife when I got home. But she told me to go and have fun. "It's gonna be crazy when the baby comes, hon," she smiled. "Might as well enjoy some down time now."

"Thanks, babe," I said, kissing her with a husbandly peck.

She got a sweet smile like something was on her mind. And when she spoke, I realized she'd been thinking of this for a while. "Nick... I've been thinking. After the baby, I was thinking it would be better for our daughter to have me around... what do you think of me being a stay at home mom?"

Goddamn, Mark was right. I had never expected Cheryl to give up her career ambitions, but with my new role at the Bryant business I knew we had the money to swing it, and then some. "If that's what you think is right, babe," I said in a sincerely supportive voice.

I think my agreement surprised her. "You sure, hon? I know you worry about finances and well..."

I interrupted her. "Absolutely I'm sure," I said, snuggling up to her soft body and patting her round belly. "You're gonna make the best mom, babe."

***

Emotionally Cheryl and I felt closer than we ever had, but I had to admit I was feeling blue balled on the way up to the lake. I knew I'd be getting my rocks off that weekend, I just didn't know how it would play out.

Big Daddy must have been in the same frame of mind, cause we'd barely put down out bags in our rooms and gone out to the deck with a cold beer when Mark reached down to unzip his shorts.

"Son, I need one of your blowjobs, bad... been a long fucking week."

Dan blushed but just nodded and set down his beer. "Yes, Daddy."

And like that, my brother in law crossed over and knelt on the wood deck, between Mark's thick thighs and started licking and worshipping his father's cock.

"Not too fast, boy... we got all afternoon, might as well enjoy it, right?"

Fuck, this was hot. I couldn't decide what was hotter, seeing Cheryl suck that giant patriarch dong or watching Dan give his father a blowjob. I went ahead and removed my shorts, which got a grin from Mr. Bryant.

"That's it, Brennan, let that dick out. Let my boy take care of you, too."

Mark watched as Dan worked his cock with a few more long mouth strokes then nudged his head off. "Go take care of your brother, son," he said in a low growl of a whisper.

My dick twitched at those words and the sight of Dan's hunky ex-football bod scooting over to service me. His mouth felt incredible descending on my boner and I did my best not to shoot right away. But Dan did his best to take his father's words to heart. He wasn't rushing this and would ease up when he sensed I was getting too close.

"That's nice, kid," I growled then realized it was the first time I'd called Dan that in front of his dad.

I looked up at Big Daddy, who had a big smirk. "So Brennan," he said, his legs spread and his big hardon sticking up proudly. "Why aren't you fucking any of the secretaries? Katie especially... she's a fucking sex kitten..."

It felt weird having this conversation, like Dan wasn't even there. But also hot.

"Cheryl and I have an arrangement. I can do all the men I want, but I won't fuck other women." I blushed as I said this, knowing I'd not only banged Courtney but was responsible for another of her pregnancies.

Mark just gave me that smirk, like he suspected I wasn't on the level.

"You're hogging him, Brennan. My turn for that mouth..."

I laughed at the comment and nudged Dan off. I couldn't resist leaning down to kiss him, to give him the affection he craved. He moaned into my mouth as my tongue invaded in a quick but dominant gesture. I patted his side. "Go take care of your dad, kid."

Dan's smile melted my heart and he nodded, re-energized to do his best on Mark's huge dong.

It was hot watching. The man's girth would challenge any one, and it was challenging even Dan. But Mark looked down in a lewd gaze and then back up at me. "I will give you this, Brennan. Men are better cocksuckers. Even Cheryl can't handle me like her brother."

I had wondered if Dan knew about Big Daddy's romance with Cheryl, but I guess I wasn't surprised.

"No, she can't," I admitted. "Her blowjobs get me off just the same, though."

It was a crude thing to say. Talking about my wife's sexual abilities to her father and brother. But it made Mark chuckle, though he didn't say anything. He was getting close, visibly close and he finally gripped Dan's shoulders and pushed him off.

"Nick's turn," he instructed.

We went two more rounds of that. The conversation naturally flowing between me and Mark, crudely sexual, as Mark serviced one then the other.

I finally felt my balls really pull up. Mark could read it in my face. "Go for it, Brennan," he urged.

I nodded and looked down on Dan. Hot, dumb, sweet Dan. My brother in law, my friend, and yes, I'll admit, my lover. "It's coming, kid," I warned. Dan grunted around my dick and really started working me. Big Daddy was right: no woman could suck cock like this.

I blasted, hard. Three days pent up sperm right into my brother in law's craw. He coughed just a second then swallowed, gratefully. His face blushed from the excitement and he was visibly thrilled when he finally pulled off and slurped at the dribbles.

"God, Nick, you were really worked up," he hissed.

"Fuck yeah, I was," I sighed, feeling that relaxation slip over my body. "You're the best Dan." I ruffled his hair playfully in thanks.

He gave one more swipe and then made his way over to his father. I thought of watching Big Daddy nut, but I'd just had my release and was no longer in that sexual mood. I walked back in the kitchen and got myself a beer. I pulled one out for Mark, too, and then a third. I figured Dan's barely sipped beer would be warm by now.

In that time Mark had gotten his overdue release. He had a very content look on his face as he sat back in the chair, that thick but softening dong between his legs. Dan was back in his seat, a happy but horny look on his face. It all made my dick spring back some. I wasn't in the mood for a second round, but I knew what I needed to do.

"Why don't you get some lube, kid," I said to Dan. "I'll take care of ya."

Dan beamed as he got up and went inside to fetch some. I turned to Mark. "Gonna take care of your son," I said.

Mark nodded. "Mind if I watch?" he asked. It was an uncharacteristic question on his part, but maybe he thought we had an emotional bond best suited for privacy.

"Not at all, feel free."

Dan walked out and my dick stood fully up. The guy was just so fuckable. Big, meaty, and yet still youthfully and cute-handsome. He'd always look young for his age, I decided.

I spread my legs and patted my thighs. "Come here, big guy," I growled. "And get comfortable."

Dan chuckled and peeled off his shirt and dropped his shorts and underwear. The gym workouts had really paid off, and I took some pride I was partly responsible for the results.

My brother in law straddled my lap and I pulled his head down into a kiss. He was a bigger man that me, but he was still my cunt. I knew his eagerness, too, from the excited way he moaned into my mouth as we kissed, right in front of Big Daddy.

We finally broke that kiss and I took the lube and squirted some on his dick. Then I took more and reached back between his meaty buns.

"Yes, Nick!" Dan grunted as my finger penetrated his hole.

"You're man's got ya, buddy... just let your Nick in."

"Fuck, yes," the ex-jock hissed as he reached back to pull his buns open.

I fingered him more steadily, adding a second finger.

"Jesus..." Dan hissed.

"Not too much buddy..." I said. Half a question, half a challenge.

Dan shook his. "No, Nick."

I added a third as we made out, then pulled by fingers out. "Sit on it, kid. Sit on my dick."

Dan got a concerted look on his face as he reached back and guided my now rock hard erection to his lubed pucker. He pushed down on it and I felt it pop in. "God," he grunted. "I need it, Nick. I need it bad."

I ran my hands up and down his meaty thighs. "I know, buddy. Your Nick knows."

He looked down on me with a crazed, intense look that was as emotional as it was sexual. He sank further toward my lap.

"That's it, kid. Ride your man. Get what you need."

I took the lube and slicked up Dan's boner. He hissed and swiveled his hips more excitedly, bouncing up and down in my lap.

This wouldn't take long. My brother in law was too keyed up. As he rode my cock and as I stroked his, he quickly got in the zone. "I'm gonna cum, Nick!" he warned in an exasperated, horny tone.

"I got ya buddy. Let it out. Come on your man's cock."

That did it. Dan fired all over me. My chest, my abs, and even my neck and chin. I was fucking it out of him. Or rather he was pounding himself out a good load with my dick. Dan rode his orgasm, and it was then that I realized just how heavy his muscular ex-jock body was. Then he slowed and relaxed and met me for a soft kiss.

We'd forgotten about Mark, caught up in our own bond and the mating. But Big Daddy sat there, watching us, sipping his beer, his massive dick a half erection. "Nothing like guys' weekend, huh?" he smirked.

"No sir, Daddy," Dan replied as he finally got off of my lap. He reached down and touched my hardon. "Um, Nick... you need me to get you off again?"

I shook my head. "Later kid," I grinned and gave his ass a swat as he got up.

It took me a minute for my erection to go down, but it somehow felt natural for us to resume a normal conversation sitting out there naked. At least it was the new normal. Bryant family normal.

"So Dan," Big Daddy bellowed in his Southern drawl. "One reason I wanted to bring you guys up here was to share some business news. Son, you're officially the senior sales associate of R.C. Pool Supply."

I looked back and forth between Dan and Mark. I had a good sense that this was a bullshit promotion, and I could tell that Dan was wondering the same thing. Dan, after all, was our only sales guy.

"Um, what does that mean, Dad?"

Mark leaned back, manspreading some and taking a swig of beer as he looked in a paternal gaze at his only son. "A pay bump. Nick's office. And more vacation time. You'll be able to work on your golf game," he winked.

Dan smiled. Sweet, dumb Dan was into the idea. "Sounds awesome, sir," he enthused. Then, a quizzical look swept his face. "Wait... if I'm getting Nick's office..."

Mark interrupted him. "That's the other news. Nick here's going to be stepping into the CFO role. Keith's no longer going to be working for us."

"Wow," Dan said. Then turning to me, he smiled. "That's amazing news, Nick. We're lucky to have you." That sincere happiness for me was the only time I ever felt like a low-life with these guys. Cheryl and Mark could play games, Courtney was a slut, but Dan worshipped the ground I walked on.

"Thanks, Dan," I said. Then turning to Mark. "And thank you, Mark. Though I guess I wouldn't be a shrewd businessman if we didn't have a conversation about compensation first."

Mr. Bryant grinned. "Of course not. We got all weekend, Brennan. You come up with your terms and I can tell you if they're in the ball park. How's that?"

"Yeah, that works," I said.

[t0tallycr1nge]

I totally forgot about the Cringe's Mom's Murder Drones Q&A, whoops-

・・・・☆・・・・☆ ・・・・

Question 1: Who's your Favorite Character?

Cringe's Mom: I like N. He's cute but can still kill people. I like his outfit too

Question 2: What's Your Favorite Ship?

Cringe's Mom: N and Uzi! Cause they're so cute together and he has saved her multiple times! They're best friends! It's like a hidden romance because them, N always has loved her and has done all these cute little things for her, but Uzi doesn't catch on to his signs. One day she's going to catch on and they're going to fall in love. Imagine their kids! Oh so cute! All their little kids would be called like uh- Nuzis!

Cringe: Mom, uh, Nuzi is actually their ship name

Cringe's Mom: Oh! Their hearts would be oozing with love <)

Cringe: Uh next question-

Question 3: What is you Favorite Episode so Far?

Cringe's Mom: Definitely the second one cause you get more plot then just introducing the the characters and world. Also it has the scene with N's cute little card!

Question 4: If you had to spend a day with any of the characters, who would it be?

Cringe's Mom: Uh probably the teacher because I'd love to know more about how Uzi at school! She's like my spirit animal, I aspire to be like her at school, I wish I could just say "Shut the f*ck up" whenever I wanted to. I'd also like to hear why Mr. Teacher doesn't like her so much. Maybe he knows something about her that Khan doesn't and that's why he was trying to turn Khan away from Uzi at the conferences. I think the teacher is evil, maybe he wants the Absolute Solver power?

Question 5: What's your opinion on J?

Cringe's Mom: I just thinks she's a jerk but someone is making her evil. Maybe there's a higher-power who wants to go after N and Uzi?

Question 6: Is Khan a good father?

Cringe's Mom: I think he is. He's been through a lot with his wife's death and all, it's hard enough having a teenage daughter, I would know. I also think the mom did a lot with Uzi while Khan just stayed on the side-lines, now that her mom is gone he just doesn't know how to take care of her well...

・・・・☆・・・・☆ ・・・・

Cringe's Mom: OH definitely N's card. It's like "Uh sorry for killing people, here's a cute card :D"

Cringe's Mom: Hmmm lemme think. I just think he knows/understands what's going on. He's going to be like their info guy. I don't think he's evil though!

2.

Cringe's Mom: I'm not good at drawing :(. But I would if I could, I would have a fantastic oc <)

Cringe's Mom: Uhm I forgot who that is... "*insert Cringe's Dad's name here* pull up Murder Drones again!"

*One family viewing of Heartbeat later*

Cringe's Mom: I think she knows about the Absolute Solver and how dangerous it is. So either she has a different version of the Solver or she figured out how to use it in more ways then just repairing herself.

・・・・☆・・・・☆ ・・・・

That's about it, thx for reading all this is you did! :D (Sorry if the grammar is a bit off, I was trying to type fast while my mom spoke-)