#mr mystery man uwu

[softshuji]

You know I care?

-??

I do. Well don't you? In my experience, people tend not to stick around if they don't care. Most people have a no strings attached attitude with lots of things. You do care about her don't you? It's a good thing, it's what she needs, people who actually care about her. We all need that.

[castle-dominion]

c4x6 demons

Nice big moon there oh yes buzzfeed unsolved moments! I should finish watching that with my older bro... Where's the van outside tho? How do the doors close again? Maybe ghosts ARE real. Like in murdoch mysteries & then it was never again acknowledged that murdoch could see ghosts What can he see? I thought the thing came from you-know-where?

AC, on her dad's lap as they watch a movie together but then he tilts her in front of him: Dad, are you using me as a shield against flesh-eating zombies? She looks so adult. & oddly tanned. RC: I know he's busy, and you are very thoughtful to be so accommodating, sweetheart, but a healthy relationship is based on mutual respect. I mean, think about what kind of signal you're sending if you're the one always re-arranging your schedule at the other one's every beck and call. I mean, if you just drop everything the very moment that— *beckett calls* *castle drops everything at her call*

RC: The Ghost Wranglers are here? Okay, that's why I love these guys. Body's not even cold, they're already tracking down the ghost. KB: Why doesn't it surprise me that you actually watch that ridiculous show? GIRL SHUT UP RC: Ridiculously awesome. Jack Sinclair is, *becks turns to him in shock* hands down, America's most accomplished ghost hunter. KB: Um...Castle...Jack Sinclair is the name of our victim.

LP: His throat was slit almost from ear to ear, jugular, superior thyroid, common carotid left and right. You name it, it's been severed. Sexy Can't you be behind the guy? Heck yeah ghost killer! She works with dead ppl don't let her believe in ghosts

Oh nice maybe they caught the murder on camera castle explaining what it means <3 So many angles! Mum & I both immediately knew it wasn't begging for mercy. An emp maybe? (btw I'm pronouncing it émp' like in rvb when they were arguing abt it) GIRL IF THEY HAD AN ARGUMENT THAT IS A RECENT UPSET IN RELATIONSHIPS, THAT'S WHAT THEY ASKED ABOUT

Ryan's nice red sweater over his suit uwu JE: Right. Hey, we're still on for dinner tomorrow night, right? Me: what? Maybe it's a game night or smth not a date haha KR: Oh, yeah, Jenny's totally psyched. Me: oh KR: She's never really hung out with Lanie before, so *full body nod* cool. JE: Well, just to let you know, Lanie's gonna be getting off a double shift. So, she could be a little cranky. KR: Oh. *squints eyes* Maybe we should reschedule. I mean, isn't the whole point for Jenny and Lanie to get along? JE: Nah, she'll be cool. Just, you know, don't say anything controversial. KR, walking back over & crossing arms: Like what? What's controversial? [The computer makes a sound.] JE: Bingo. KR: Bingo. Don't talk about Bingo? JE: No. *gestures with some irritation* Barry Bavetta's been busy, and so has his lap. Dude has racked up a hell of a tab at a strip club

RC: We heard you were racking up quite a bill. Or is that billing quite a rack?

Sounds like he said he did kill the guy but obv it couldn't have been him. "you decided to prove him wrong"

Killing time was KIND OF funny "apparition american" KB: You'll see, Castle. This'll turn out just like every other murder investigation. *Ryan walks up looking concerned.* Once we find out more about our victim's life, the details surrounding his death, everything will be explained. KR: Um…maybe not everything. Mr irish folklore over there he looks SO mildly concerned & shaken & I LOVE it, good acting b'y *gestures politely to send castle in first* Caught a ghost! So cool!

Posting that intro on my blog

B'y surely u got SOME sleep esposito smiling watching castle set up his ghost murder board *drank her coffee* RC: ready for this? Espt *nods* RC: a demon

RC: That's not a real thing, you know. That real ghost hunters use. JE: "Real" ghost hunters? Isn't that a contradiction in terms, bro? Oxymoron? Nah man let people have their beliefs I thought that "I do" was Ryan Ooh Ryan nice tie! RC: You see? I am telling you, there is something going on with this house. The last people-- to-- *Castle tries to flip the board back around, but Beckett stops him.* RC: The last people that lived there moved out four years ago in a hurry. KR, breathy: Why? RC: I don't know, but I think it's time we found out. KB: Knock yourself out, Castle. RC: You're not coming? KB: No. I've got a murder to solve. KR sidles up to castle, eyes wide, eyebrow raised, mouth open: I'll go. *softly* [Beckett gives Ryan a look. Castle smiles at Ryan, then turns and sees Beckett's expression and his face falls. Beckett narrows her eyes.] RC: Ooh. That's a look. KR, looking down & to the side: Yeah. RC: I get these a lot. Just start walking. Faster. [Beckett watches them leave, then smiles & looks over at the empty coffee cups.] Ryan really is becoming castle jr!

Poor beckett, castle drank her coffee then said he'd make her one then he doesn't & she burns herself on it. I like the idea of ryckett & casito but rn we have some rystle & especkett scenes. JE: Yo. I, uh, just saw Ryan downstairs. I can't believe you let him go chasing ghosts with Castle. KB: Yeah. Maybe Shaggy'll keep Scooby out of trouble. Besides, you never know, maybe they'll come up with something useful. JE: Oh, you want useful. *sarcastic surprise* 'Cause I just spoke to CSU. They found fingerprints at the scene from a real live person, so… *points & wiggles finger* Becks still has the coffee with her

Girl maybe he thinks he was molested by a ghost it is not your business to make fun of the (probably psychological) issues of a man in prison! Wow the grammar & spelling... the handwriting is fine

Poor guy, he has to live with his mom bc he's an ex-con, he violated his parole for the guy who ruined his prison life, I just really feel for this guy. Prophesy vibes

This is so cool & cute & funny & scary! RC, trying not to show his excitement over the ghost: Oh, my God, that's terrible Ryan looking mildly freaked out is my new favourite thing Mercedes King & Mercy LaGrande are both cool names KB: So the question is, how is she involved in all of this? *rystle look at each other & hop up quickly* RC: Uh, well, you know, uh, Ryan and I would be glad to go check this out *ryan nods half winks* if you guys are too busy solving that murder. *especkett share a look*

Oh & now caskett is here instead of rystle These folks are doctors. They are psychologists, they are pharmacists, they are the medical professionals of the past. & I respect them. Why did he say mercy I can see IT not HIM? his face is an it but jack could have said him too.

Give that man a prize. tbh I expected the pics to be even more gory Murdoch mind moments!

I love the term on the lam, I like this guy's shirt (I have one from hot topic that looks like it lol) RC, looking to beckett: Really? He claimed there was a demon involved? AS: I know. Like anyone's going to fall for that, right? I mean, what kind of jackass did he think he was dealing with?

Ooh info! Cool! Valid, he probably turned him away. Yep you need a warrant babe. Do you need a warrant to get their car service logs? Ooh I love it when they do that! There was this one time a serial killer was watching TV with his wife 20 or 30 years later or smth & they said "this is a serial killer, we think he looks like this" with an aged up model including the style of glasses he would most likely wear & the wife looked at him & said "it looks exactly like you" & they both just laughed it off bc how could this guy my husband be a serial killer? lol that's so silly how he looks like the killer.

KB: Wait a minute, don't you guys have dinner plans tonight? KR, afraid: Uh, we can move it to…some night when Lanie's not coming off a double shift. JE: Uh, actually, Lanie's really looking forward to it. KB: You know what? No worries. It's on my way home. [Beckett takes the photos.] KR+JE: You sure? KB: That I don't want to be the one to blame for ruining Lanie's night out? Oh, yeah. I am sure.

Martha <3 Ooh hoo wowie look at alexis! & going to a party too! No he literally just called, you can answer & say she just went out bc she had plans or smth! gah!

Ooh scottish architecture! Ooh Laird's Lugs! KB: We'll go first thing in the morning, see what we come up with. RC: *puppydog eyes* KB: You want to go now?

RC: For me. Please. KB: I ain't afraid of no ghosts. *ghostbusters theme*

She's pulling his leg KB: How long have you known me, Castle? Of course I don't believe in ghosts. *door closes* RC: What was that? *lights go out* KB: Well, that's odd. RC: No, that's more than just odd. This is the same sequence of events that preceded Jack Sinclair's murder. KB: Except Jack only had an EMF meter. I've got a gun and a flashlight. *The flashlight goes out.* Except wouldn't their phones also be out? Gosh it's hard to be on someone's shoulders *grabs* KB: *gasps!!* Castle, I said legs, okay? RC: Oh. Legs. Sorry.

LP: Not as sorry as I was. I'm around dead people all day. When I get home, I want a live one. JE, eating: I was tired. [Ryan and Jenny laugh.] JO: I can't believe we waited so long to do this, babe. KR, wearing his fortnightversary tie: Yeah. Yeah, it really did turn out to be a perfect night. JE: *winks at ryan* KR: I would like to propose a toast. I know that it's kind of corny, but it's me, (yeah lol) so well, there we go. Uh, to best friends, now and forever. [They toast.] JO: Cheers. JE: And to the future newlyweds. JO: Aww. [They toast again.] KR: You are so thoughtful. LP: Cheers. JO: You know, Kevin said you guys made a great couple, *Lanie smiles & leans towards javier* but I had no idea. [Lanie and Esposito cuddle and lean in to kiss.] JO: So, when are you two getting married? [That kills the mood and Esposito and Lanie recoil w/o even kissing.] KR: JO: LP: JE: *stares daggers at Ryan* KR: *moves to drink his wine during the awkward silence.*

Sad that they found a magnetic field generator to explain the moving tripod BUT wouldn't it have also moved every other tripod & any metal that Sinclair had on him? WHY is it creaking tho? *makes castle open the door* Oh it's a rat It's like when higgins kissed a corpse! Well he fell on it & his lips touched its lips but he was so grossed out about kissing a corpse & that's totally valid Poor castle lol

Hide & seek lol. In the morgue: *Beckett exits and Castle stops on his way out* RC: Hey, how'd that double date go? LP: *crosses her arms and glares.* RC: I-- I just… LP: *eye twitches* *KB comes back in abt the case, but castle leaves past her* RC: Don't ask her about the date.

KR: Look, I said I'm sorry, okay? t-- h-- I didn't mean to jinx the dinner. JE: (imitating)"This really is the perfect night." KR: Jenny got a little caught up in the moment. JE: (falsetto)"When are you two getting married?" That's a question you do not ask! (Yeah jenny, sorry. I love you plenty tho. btw when are we going to find out she's a spy like with terrence myers or mary morstan) [Ryan sighs.] JE, mellowing out: I-- You know, it's-- it's not entirely your guys' fault. KR: You guys have a big fight after? JE: Big fight? *laughing* No. Mega fight, *seriously* yes. *ryan nods* The point is, we, um…we decided that we're gonna cool things off. (Good facial expressions.) KR, sad for his friend: Wait, you mean split up? JE: Yeah. Just until we both figure out what we want. *looks down kinda sad but also an "i don't talk about emotions" way* KR: Man, I'm so sorry. JE: Anyway. *starts ignoring him* KR: Look, brother, if you need anything, you know I'm always here… What? Friendship<3 also "brother" is such a Term

WHOA THE BRO GOT THE GIRL? Cafe jouer not cafe jouerre bro Either it's weird how he remembers all the details or they got burned into his brain bc of that event or it's weird how he remembers all the details bc they would be overshadowed by the horror.

KR: It wasn't someone Melanie worked with. I just tracked down George Banner, Melanie's manager at Flywide Travel twenty years ago. He said Melanie had two co-workers: KR: both guys. RC: A-ha. KR: Married. RC: Still… KR: To each other. (XD WOW) RC: Oh. I mean bisexuality, maybe they invited her to join idk The way castle's hair moves lol

It is not going to be him Ooh strong man there WOAH DETECTIVE SMITH!? Yeah I can understand why you... wait he killed her too I forgot AS: You're both very smart, but you're forgetting one thing. Me: you have a gun? AS: This house is haunted. Nice, lights out scene, fun. Now becks has also lost her gun, maybe ryan won't feel so bad about tyson getting the drop on him.

AS: Get on your knees. *castle starts moving* KB: Don't worry, Castle. He's not gonna shoot us. That won't fit the legend. AS: *pulls a sexy knife* rysposito had better be around Technically that's illegal tho

Ooh castle is so right! Jack sinclair's ghost was TOTALLY solving the murder! Sussy elevator (are ghosts canonically real?)

Oh no I feel bad for ashlexis. Castle said "goin'a" like "going ta" except since n & t are in the same place in the mouth he just said goin'a, not quite "gonna" Cuddling <3 Flesh eating zombies I love their father daughter love time Wait am I in the zombie movie? As soon as they press play we're going to be attacked by zombies!

[polyghostfacehours]

Your blog is great! Can I please get just some general Billy and Stu headcanons? Maybe stuff about their childhoods or likes and stuff. literally all of your headcanons are my canons, I live for them bestie UwU

DON'T MAKE ME CRY ANON. Thank you so much for the kind words! Did some head canons on their home life for ya under the cut!

Billy:

Billy's father, Hank, sucks ass. He barely interacts with Billy unless it's to scold him. He felt it was the woman's job to handle the child in near all aspects of parenting. His job as a lawyer kept him busy and out of the house, and when he wasn't at work he was at the bar with coworkers. After Mrs. Loomis left, he became even more distant.

Mrs. Loomis smothered Billy. Because she was a housewife and Hank was never home, she latched on to Billy out of loneliness. She ardently defended him, effectively becoming his yes man, and was often the only one he could turn to. It's why Billy was so attached to her. She was also neurotic, and often on and off meds.

Billy's social standing is high, but strange. On one hand, he's handsome, mysterious, and confident. On the other, he was never the jock or the delinquent. So he wasn't popular in the traditional sense, he was popular because he radiated sheer confidence and never let anyone mess with him. He was never bullied, and if anything was the bully if he felt someone deserved it.

Unsurprising, but Billy has absolutely no fashion sense. He has multiple white T shirts, jeans in all shades of denim, a couple of dark jackets, a polo here and there, a pair of boots and a pair of sneakers.

Billy never had a pet. He always wanted a dog when he was younger, but his father never allowed it. And Mrs. Loomis herself didn't try and convince him otherwise since she felt Billy didn't need a dog when he had her.

Billy didn't have many close friends growing up, or at least none that weren't surface level. It's not like he didn't have any, just none that he would consider even close to Stu and later Y/N's level.

Despite this, he always had an affinity for talking to people and getting what he wanted. It's just a trait he seemed to naturally have. Maybe it runs in the family, since, as a lawyer, his dad had a way with words as well. It's because of this this that he never had a problem with interacting with people, even if he is more solitary by nature.

Stu:

Stu's parents are real estate moguls. Both of them. It's how they met. They have properties all around the West coast, as well as some East in Florida, New York, and New Jersey. They moved to Woodsboro when Stu entered 7th grade, and the house there is their 'home base' so to speak. If they were ever there that is lol.

The house Stu lives in is actually one of the most modest ones they own in terms of the house's square footage. They mainly bought it for the large plots of farmland it comes with, as they figured it's value would only go up over time.

Stu was mainly raised through nannies. His parents largely parented with their money, and Stu's "allowance" was always way more exorbitant than anything a kid should have.

Stu's parents, unlike Billy's, do genuinely think they love their son. It's why they spoil him and let him do whst he wants. However, they never thought he was too bright, so they never expected much from him. Which is a shame, because Stu is actually a pretty intelligent guy. They just don't know it since they're never around much, they just look at his grades and school suspensions and go by that.

They do want Stu set for life, and have a hefty trust fund for him as well as a cushy spot in their business for when he's ready. Under his sister ofc.

Stu was often forced to go on business trips and banquets with his parents. He actually really liked them, as long as they didnt interfere with plans he may have had. He loves the buffets and traveling is fun to him. He's much less of a fan now that he has you and Billy though, as he prefers to be with you guys instead.

[pub-lius]

ACTUALLY Hardcore Facts About Alexander Hamilton

Alright, take two.

I've already typed this entire thing out once, so this is likely going to be a lot more lazy than anything else I will ever post, so :).

Sources: Alexander Hamilton by Ron Chernow; John Laurens and the American Revolution by Gregory D. Massy; The Federalist by Alexander Hamilton; George Washington's Indispensible Men by Authur S. Lefkowitz; Lafayette by Harlow Giles Unger; Who Was Alexander Hamilton? by Pam Pollack and Meg Belviso

Hamilton wished for a war when he was like a baby. So if you know Hamilton, you know that one line where Hamilton says "As a kid of the Carribean, I wished for a war, I knew that I was poor, I knew it was the only way to rISE UP-" in Right Hand Man. Well, that line is based off of a letter Hamilton sent to his childhood bestie, Edward Stevens: "...Ned, my ambition is [so] prevalent that I... would willingly risk my life, tho' not my character, to exalt my station... I'm no philosopher, you see, and may be jus[t]ly said to build castles in the air... I shall conclude by saying I wish there was a war. Alex. Hamilton." Okay, dude, calm down, you're like two years old. I think he was actually like 14-16, but for dramatic purposes we'll say he was an actual infant (do I sound like Chernow?). But I hate how much this letter foreshadows. It's like he jinxed himself, its almost embarrassing.

Hamilton ran a business at 14. Now if you've ever been fourteen and you were like "i think i feel like running a business" literally shut up no one asked. I think this is impressive. When Hamilton was at least 14, the guys the owned Beekman and Cruger (it had a different name by this time but this one sounds cooler) just dipped and left Hamilton in charge. This was actually a pretty good decision, since Hamilton managed it well. There was also this one time where Hamilton told a whole captain of a ship who didn't perform up to standard, "Reflect continually on the unfortunate voyage you have just made and endeavor to make up for the considerable loss therefrom accruing to your owners." This man was so arrogant I wish I had his confidence. Yeah that was cool ig, but if I met teenage-Hamilton, I'd literally hate him.

Hamilton saved the president of his college. Ever the dramatic, Hamilton had a thing for suppressing mobs (though he was pretty much never successful). There was this one time at King's College where a mob formed to "talk" with the president of the university, Dr. Myles Cooper (by "talk" i mean make him into a tory bird). And, according to Who Was Alexander Hamilton? (this book gives me so much joy), "Alexander vowed to protect him [aww]... He stood up to the crowd, telling them that violence would only hurt their cause. He couldn't stop the crowd, but he delayed them long enough for Dr. Myles Cooper to escape in his nightgown," (Pollack and Belviso 27-29). This is a really sweet description of it, but Hamilton was probably calling the mob a bunch of insults and stuff, judging by how he later handled riots. Also, Cooper thought Hamilton was rallying the mob, so he was a complete jerk to Hamilton, but rightfully. Everyone, bully Hamilton. He's short and dead like an idiot.

Hamilton was really cool on the battlefield, don't @ me. Now, despite being a clumsy little gremlin and an absolute dork, Hamilton was a pretty good leader, and I guess veterans deserve to be recognized for their victories or whatever. At the battle of Princeton, one of my favorites, Hamilton had very big, cool guns, and did some cool stuff. "Returning to the final phase of the battle of Princeton, British infantry took refuge inside Nassau Hall, the building that housed the College of New Jersey. American artillery commanded by Capt. Alexander Hamilton [ya boy] was brought to bear on the college building... Washington was on the scene and noticed this young artillery officer who skillfully commanded his gun battery. The general would soon invite Hamilton to become one of his aides-de-camp," (Lefkowitz 92). Wow so cool moving on to Yorktown.

When the Americans were building their fortifications, two British fortifications were in the way. So rude. Consequently, Washington sent The Gay Trio, Lafayette, Laurens, and Hamilton, to uh, silence them. Hamilton pulled off a successful sneak attack, and won the battle swiftly, leading to the American victory in the battle of Yorktown, and therefore the war. "...Colonel Hamilton['s] well known talents and gallantry were on this occasion most conspicuous and serviceable. Our obligations to him, to Colonel Gimat [stan], to Colonel Laurens, and to each and all the officers are above expression..." -Major General Marquis de Lafayette. Lafayette is so nice I would marry him if he was alive and single and legal and not old as hell. Like omg he gave credit to everyone but himself that's so nice I'm such a simp for Lafayette. Anyway, Hamilton was cool too ig.

Hamilton caused the evacuation of Philadelphia like an iDIOT. So, after Brandywine (British victory), Washington sent Hamilton on a foraging mission in Vally Forge to get flour, horseshoes, and tomahawks (not quite as exciting as Yorktown). Well, our clumsy ginger rat got caught, and wrote to the president of Congress, John Hancock, "If Congress have not yet left Philadelphia, they ought to do it immediately without fail, for the enemy have the means of throwing a party [party rockers in the house tonight] this night into the city. I have just now crossed the valley-ford [Valley Forge], in doing which a party of the enemy came down & fired upon us."

Surprise, this turned out not to be the entire goddamn British army, it was just a few scouts sooo... let's just say Philadelphia wasn't happy. "Our Removal from Philad. Was owning to information that General Howe was crossing Schuylkill [River]... However tho' this Intelligence was from one of the General's family (Alexander Hamilton) it was not well founded & we wish we had not left Philad.," -James Duane. Yeeeaaahhh, that's awkward. Not the best way to get your name known in the capital, I must say.

Hamilton was possibly bisexual, and this is hardcore because I say so. Now, I'll add more quotes to this later, but basically heres my interpretation of the historical evidence and whatnot. Basically, Hamilton was a really closed off, cynical guy, since like everyone he ever loved died or left him pretty much, and he wasn't really the type to make and keep close friends; "...how little dependence is to be placed on treaties, which have no other sanction than the obligations of good faith, and which oppose general considerations of peace and justice to the impulse of any immediate interest or passion," (Federalist 64); It is a known fact in human nature, that its affections are commonly weak in proportion to the distance or diffusiveness of the object," (Federalist 73). Um, Mr. Hamilton? You're projecting your trauma on the government again.

Also, despite working with him for like twenty years, Hamilton really never got close to Washington, like at all. He even said to Laurens, "I have no friendship for him and have professed none," in regards to Washington, which is kind of mean. But he ALSO told Laurens:

"Cold in my professions, warm in my friendships, I wish, my dear Laurens, it m[ight] be in my power by action rather than words [to] convince you that I love you. I shall only tell you that till you bade us adieu, I hardly knew the value you had taught my heart to set upon you. Indeed, my friend, it was not well done. You know the opinion I entertain of mankind and how much it is my desire to preserve myself free from particular attachments and to keep my happiness independent of the caprice of others. You s[hould] not have taken advantage of my sensibility to ste[al] into my affections without my consent."

*mocking Hamilton* its YOUR fault that i love you and it was RUDE that you FORCED me to love you how DARE you you SUCK i love you uwu.

Also, at the top of that letter, someone mysterious (probably Hamilton's son) wrote, "I must not publish the whole of this," and Massey still thinks Hamilton was straight.

But yeah, that's about it. I had originally written more at the beginning, but I unfortunately lost the original draft, so I'll just settle for this. I hope you enjoyed, though, and maybe learned something or found a quote you needed or something. I did more research than I wanted to in one sitting for this, so appreciate it or I'll cry. Thanks love you <3

[watcher0033]

So you know the theories floating around (heh) about Christopher's origins even though it's explicitly stated that it's unknown:

This means none of the 43 women gave birth to a cube (thank god). (But also awww, baby Christopher! :D Can you imagine him the size of a rubik's cube? UwU)

And this is where my thoughts about his birth origin comes in:

It's Five.

Five Hargreeves gave birth to Christopher the Cube.

Christopher is a time-space anomaly baby accidentally created by Five. Ergo, he's Christopher's Daddy.

Your pulse is slowing down, "Sike! Says the Watcher hahaha."

Well, no, not quite. I stand by my statement.

Anyway, do you honestly think that Mr. Douchenald Hargreeves wouldn't have found Christopher in og!timeline if he existed there in the first place? That guy seems to be involved in every conspiracy, every world's secretest secret organizations ever created that it's thoroughly unlikely he'll miss a floating cube flying around inducing existential dread everywhere and not immediately taking it in as a test subject.

"But what if someone got to him fir-" Pfft! ha.

So, Christopher not existing in the og!timeline, a most likely fact.

Which goes back to the undeniable truth that Christopher is Five's temporal anomaly baby.

This brings me to my next point.

The Conception of Christopher the Cube

Remember at the end of season 1 where Five grabbed all his siblings to jump in a past, any time in the past, because the possibility of them dying again is not something he can handle and being trapped again in a post-apocalyptic world most likely filling him with the deepest dread. (hmm.)

And the mysterious three year gap before he finally appeared in the 1960s nuclear war torn timeline.

(Sus.)

And the fact that- he, Five Hargreeves, immediately stumbled upon landing when a perfect man like Five never stumbles in his life unless grievously injured and his hiding it (pls refer to the shrapnel incident in s1)

Therefore, something happened to him- somewhere between jumping with his siblings and him stumbling in the 60s....

That must've been the time he was impregnated by the Universe. And in that timeless period, he gave birth to Christopher.

(If seahorses can do it, Five can too.)

With that, here are the undeniable Facts that will back up my claim:

Five stumbled upon landing which he only does when hiding a wound of some sort.

Five wasn't Tired when he landed in 60s Dallas and was able to teleport a few times without breaking a sweat (this suggests a resting period after he gave birth to Christopher.)

Five experienced the Ultimate Existential Dread at the Critical Point of his Jump that a possible Entity of the Universe responded to, explaining that aspect of Christopher's power.

Five has standards. Do you think if he could create child it'd be human? Ha!

5. Five Hargreeves UNDENIABLY gave birth to Christopher the Cube.🌈✨

[cursed-narancia]

made in collaboration with @loover-arts​ 

This is my eggman tierlist based on their attractiveness and the reason they got the ranking they got. feel free to suggest new eggs in the tags :)

F TIER:

Mama Robotnik- she is in F because I do not like her

E Tier:

06 Eggman - I’m not a Sonic 06 hater, I actually like Sonic 06 more than most people. but this egg... this egg is scary but not in a good way. he is just ugly because they gave him 4 tits and human eyes :(

ASOTH Eggman- This is a good egg, but he is not a sexy egg, I know I’ll get some flack for this, but there was just a lot of competition. The eggmarket is tough. he is not on E tier because he has a nice tushy.

D Tier:

Sonic the Eggman- This Egg is moderate. he is a furrier egg. but I do not like hair in my eggs. yucky. He reminds me of that hairy egg from the Mandalorian. He’s cute I guess, but not a true egg. not what I want in an eggman.

Mr Tinker - He is an eggnigma. He may have gotten a higher spot on the list if only his fit wasnt so wack. Those are just not his colors. He is a nice guy though. 

Anti Eggman - Twink. He is just too small to be an eggman. thats my only criticism.

Steve Eggman - He’s just Gru’s brother but less attractive.

C Tier:

Satam Eggman- His deep seductive voice sounds almost robotic, it’s cold and echoes, but it still maintained the warmth of a man. He was aloof and cruel, heartless even. He dresses to kill, and his large frame could crush a hedgehog in seconds. He’s a large man, but a strong one. Its unclear from where I’m standing, but I think he may have some robotic augments. Perhaps the reason for his harsh demeanor is because he lost his true heart long ago. The only reason he lost is because he’s dummy thicc and the clap of his ass cheeks keeps alerting Sonic.

B Tier:

Gerald Robotnik- Now, I know he isn’t eggman, but he’s got all the characteristics of an eggman. But god, where do I begin? He’s deeply unhinged and ruthless, an alpha-male who reeks of potent intoxicating pheromones. He���s got a dark aura that I just can’t resist. He literally wanted to nuke the Earth just because his niece. Now, some would call that a red flag, but I call that mysterious and misunderstood. He could step on me, and I’d say thank you.

Classic Egg- This egg is less sexy, but more cute. I want him to hug me, and praise me, and make me feel like everything is going to be okay. He’s warm and soft, and smart, and he has the cutest smile.  uwu

A TIER: 

Before we continue, there is some things we should disclose. This tier was highly contested in our test group. There was fighting, blood was spilled. So... the verdict of which of these eggs should be S tier couldn’t be determined. These Eggs are wild. and we have some strong feelings. 

Jim Carrey Eggman- This one is a no brainer. Jim Carrey is one sexy egg, he’s a complete and utter maniac that exudes sex. The second he was revealed, the internet went wild. What makes him A Tier is that he looks the most conventionally human. He’s a very handsome human, but he’s kind of not a real eggman, so sadly, that prevents him from achieving S tier.

Modern Egg- This is the eggman we are all most familiar with, some would say he is the defacto eggman. And I’d say that spot is well deserved. He’s pretty hot, sure, and he’s pretty smart, but what makes A material? Well, he’s just the perfect Eggman. And he has a very awesome theme song. His mustache is very impressive, and he’s got some fiiiiiiiine legs. I love his two sets of eyewear and don’t think they’re silly. 

Boom Egg- Everything I liked about Modern Egg except now he’s buff. 

Nega Egg- He’s the most tragic of all the eggmen. His backstory brought me to tears, he came from a long line of brilliant scientists, but our Eggman(god bless his heart) has failed so so many times that it tarnished his family’s name for generations. Nega Egg was forced to live in shame, and this shame fueled his hatred towards his egg lineage. It drove him to go to another dimension for a fresh start. His mustache is probably smooth as silk, it simmers in the moonlight like undriven snow. He sports a familiar outfit with a devilish twist. He’s a slick man from the future, if you don’t get the appeal, i’m sorry, I can’t help you.

S TIER:

Now... what we’ve all been waiting for, the eggman to rule them all. congratulations

LORD BOXMAN!- hands down, the sexiest eggman of them all, but sorry ladies, you can’t have him. Lord Boxman is the only openly gay eggman, and he’s got a lovely husband. He’s a flustered dork when he’s around his crush and it’s honestly so cute. I fantasize about him rubbing his long chicken hand down my back like a backscratcher, and the deep intimate sensation it would give me to melt away all the stress of life. Lord Venomous is so lucky to have that. Also We also got to respect a (previously) single dad who loves his kids and is trying his best to run and operate an evil empire all on his own. He’s voiced by the legendary Jim Cummings, his voice is deep and scratchy. He’s 5 foot something and he’s royalty!

this concludes our tier list, no I do not take constructive criticism, because my opinion is correct. 

[appleflavoredkitkats]

Hi!! Since quackity basucally just screamed "eYO SLIMECICLE LORE CANON" to the entire world, what would be hus role in the famberg las nevadas au?? Would he be a worker? A business partner? A customer? Would he have any interesting relations with schlatt considering their history? (Which may or may not be canon, please visit the SLIMECICLE CINEMATIC UNIVERSE for details uwu) love your au btw!! Always a delight to read :)))))

EYO SORRY THIS TOOK LONG, MY BRAIN JUICE DEPLETED A BIT FJDJDD but fair warning, i am writing this before charlie actually does lore so this WILL be inconsistent with what's canon

/dsmp /rp

charlie wound undoubtedly work as las nevadas, but he isn't there on BEHALF of las nevadas, if you get me? he would occasionally pass by and try to entertain some folks who are there. i feel like charlie would be a very comedic character, so he'd either do standup, or maybe do some other performance-based events.

he's honestly a cool guy— but his visits are ALWAYS random. quackity and schlatt don't even know when he plans to arrive or leave unless they get hints from fundy's dreams. still, they don't question the man. if he drops by, he drops by, and quackity does his best to accommodate him because it means good business.

i think charlie would be the one who sparks the fam's love for music again. after many wars, the three didn't really focus on anything else outside of the wars. the second time charlie visits (which is somewhat after the first wilbur event), he beckons fundy to go on stage and play something for the crowds. fundy was obviously bewildered, but he does what he can, and the crowd applauds his rendition of merry-go-round of life.

it's nice— charlie's enthusiasm really kickstarts the passion the three have long lost. even quackity has taken a stab at playing the piano again. schlatt doesn't necessarily play his own instrument, but he enjoys writing songs with quackity and fundy during their free time.

i say charlie is very similar to mr. wondertainment from the scp foundation. enthusiastic and jovial with hints of mystery surrounding him. but don't fret— his enthusiasm isn't secretly malicious at all. well, to quackity, schlatt, and fundy at least, since he does care about them. his “slime” is somewhat of a mysterious source of fuel that kind of strengthens a lot of the machinery and the structures of las nevadas.

the others didn't know of charlie's interceptions, but charlie doesn't mind. all he cares about is bringing back the happiness he once saw in people like schlatt or quackity. seeing them basically all, well, different really throws him off. if he can get them to be happier than they were in the past, then he'll do something to make that change.

before he leaves, he always makes sure to leave something behind. whether it'd be extra slime fuel, or a picture of schlatt's past found families he's forgotten about, or a new keyboard for fundy and quackity to mess with— he always makes sure to leave a gift behind.

(schlatt does wish that charlie talked to them more, but he was always, again, mysterious. they never knew what he was up to, so they just merely cherish him whenever he's present.)

[pizzazz-party]

Have I ever watched a court case? No. Was I ever in Mock Trial?? Also no. But I was in the room while the Actual Mock Trial kids were practicing during our shared free elective, so this felt sort of familiar.

Ep 1 + 2 Reactions under the cut.

——

EPISODE 1

——

Me: well I hope no one dies in this

*almost immediately, upon starting the game*

Sister: THIS WOMAN WAS BLUDGEONED TO DEATH

——

Talking to Mia in the lobby and Hot Damn this music rocks. I can see why it’s considered Mystery Skulls compatible. I was already expecting Mia to be dead so seeing her alive and well was a surprise. My sis and I both agree she’s really cool. I had no idea this was phoenix’s first case ever though??? Send help

(Going over my notes now, I realize We are The Help. Yikes)

——

It took us a minute to get that “Nick” is derived from “phoeNIX.” To be fair? if I was named phoenix I would also adopt a normal name growing up. At least it’s easy to pronounce. I’m very jealous.

——

My sis and I started calling the defendant “mister hairy butt” the moment we got his first name handed to us. We Cannot be trusted.

But man is this dude…eccentric. He’s like if the living embodiment of the uwu bottom face (🥺) drank nothing but Monster. I think I vaguely remember seeing his face on the internet though.

——

Dang dead after just one swing? That must be a heavy statue. Or maybe it connected right to her temple. Yeowch.

——

Listen. Even if we hadn’t known this dude was guilty right off the bat—we exchanged side eyes when Mr. Sahwit said he sold newspapers for a living.

——

We were on Mr. Sahwit’s ass the moment he said the words “1 pm” RELEASE THE HOUNDS OF HELL

Phoenix: *eats these lies up like candy*

Phoenix you fucking idiot.

——

(Can’t believe I’m saying this but I miss controlling Kris’ every action. I’m spoiled by the amount of agency that game afforded me.)

——

I do NOT believe this man has ever gone to law school!!! I do NOT believe it!!

——

Phoenix Wright himself: Dang what do I do next

Mia: *casually feeding him the sparknotes Whilst the trial is happening Rgiht In Front of them*

——

Phoenix nerves are actually endearing once you the player don’t feel trapped or smothered by them. He really is the Elle Woods of this game.

——

Once things started picking up, they really amped up the music! Up until this point, my sis and I would trade off voicing different characters (I do a mean “guilty rat” impression)—but the moment the tables started to turn, we were voicing Phoenix’s lines in unison.

Everything was so intense! I wasn’t sure how much agency a player could have in a game like this, but I felt like a fucking avenging angel.

You’re not controlling Phoenix—you’re working with him. You guide him where he’s blind and he does the same for you. I had no fucking clue what was going on with this weird ass clock situation??? But I didn’t need to; I just had to give him the edge that would allow him to take the case that much further.

And then!

This fucker!

Mr. Sahwit!

RIPPED OFF

HIS FUCKING TOUPEE!!!

—threw it at phoenix’s face like a dead animal—

AND PASSED OUT FOAMING IN COURT LIKE OUR CROSS-EXAMINATION HAD CROSS-CONTAMINATED HIM WITH RABIES

THIS IS FOR CINDY FOOL

——

(Side note: Even though he’s clearly Elderly, this judge looks like he was Born Yesterday with how big his eyes get when he blinks in surprise. He is not the sharpest fork at thanksgiving dinner, is he.)

——

Thinking on it more, maybe Cindy really did care about Larry. At first when The Thinker was revealed to be a clock, I assumed she got it overseas. It seems like the kind of weird novelty item you’d pick up at a museum. (Is the real Thinker in France? Hell if I know. Everything is within reach in Europe regardless.) But the fact she lugged that heavy thing around to and back from her vacation?

The prosecutor made it seem like she immediately acquired these sugar daddies right after dumping Larry, but I doubt it. Maybe she dated Larry on a whim? And realized she really liked him. Lies aside, Larry doesn’t seem like he’d be okay with her having multiple ongoing relationships. And she wasn’t going to uproot her lifestyle for him. So instead of coming clean (and potentially hurting the both of them) she just. Chose the path of least arguing. And stopped answering his calls.

At least—that’s one interpretation! I’d have to go back and check, but she didn’t outright dump him, did she? Her trip was probably planned before she ghosted him. It wasn’t a nice or fair thing to do to him, but it’s possible?? That she was just mulling over her options.

Either way, I think Mia might be on to something.

——

Larry kind of speaks like a tumblr user ngl. “Don’t worry about me! I’ll be dead and gone soon” indeed

——

Cindy was a what? Go on, phoenix. Tell me your opinions about sex work. Finish that sentence, Phoenix.

——

EPISODE 2:

I assumed Mia would die soon just not this quickly. There’s that fucking clock again!!

——

This is the episode that made me explode with nerves. This poor girl Maya being put on trial was bad enough, but the layers of conspiracy?? The blackmail, the secrecy, Phoenix himself being accused of murdering Mia Fey by the dude that actually did it????

THE FACT THAT THE MURDERER UNIRONICALLY CALLED HIMSELF “WHITE BOY”

“they call me Blanco Nino” indeed

——

So I didn’t really take notes while I was playing? Things were happening so fast. But I did take a bunch of screenshots to go off of later.

——

(I know it’s not actually important. But that is not a fisherman in Grossberg’s painting. It’s a coyboy and I Refuse to concede otherwise!!)

——

I was glad to hear Edgeworth was making his debut! I was a fool. Cute fanart exists because canon is bitter and leaves its fans yearning. (Though I do hear he gets better.)

I don’t hate him but damn did he make this case harder than it had to be!! He’s sly and underhanded and fuck it, I respect his ruthlessness. I could never be the kind of person who’d be okay with prosecuting potentially innocent people for money—or defend potentially guilty people for money, either—but hot damn I’d love to pick his brain. Fucking everyone in this fucking game hates losing. What else do you expect. But Edgeworth? LOVES winning.

His fancy cravat is meant to hide the wiff of rat.

Anyway enough about phoenix’s ex—

——

Wasn’t sure about Maya, but she really grew on me! Her spark is the same as Phoenix’s. Her throwing helpful notes at him was funny too.)

——

P: Miss April May, I think it’s high time you went shopping for a better excuse

P: Oh? Are excuses not on sale today?

Us:

——

Mr. White, during the trial, basically: “my tummy is hurting but I am being so brave about it”

——

Okay, okay, I’ll talk seriously about Mr. White.

Dude initially scared the shit out me. He fucking punched Phoenix and dared him to retaliate!! He flaunted his influence like he was mafia jesus. And I believed him. How could I not? He got Phoenix accused of murder in the span of a phone call.

(Dude Does Not Deserve to sparkle his hands like that. This is a disgrace to Mr. FMA Armstrong.)

Thankfully this dude isn’t actually mafia jesus. He’s just a terrible man. More than putting Edgeworth on the ropes, it felt good beating this one in court.

——

Okay, so picture this. You are Prosecutor Edgeworth, and you’ve got this case in the bag. Wright almost had you for a bit, but thats okay! Because your client’s new fake alibi is totally solid. You’ve got victory within your sights.

Except! Defendant Wright FAINTS in court, comes back after recess like a man possessed—like he’s Witnessed a Vision FROM GOD HIMSELF MOST LIKELY—rearranges the evidence in a way that sets FIRE to your client’s alibi, and then proceeds to conduct Actual Psychological Warfare against your client. You do not know enough beforehand to realize you should be accusing Wright of badgering the witness. That you should be doing something, anything to stop this! But in real time, this list of names Wright’s reading Mean. Absolutely Nothing to you.

It means everything to Mr. White. Your client breaks down confessing to murder. Just like that—it’s over.

——

Anyway I love it when Phoenix sheepishly smiles. He deserves to smile more.

Hope his other friends don’t end up murdered by the end of the games!

[emilycollins00]

omg it's now open!! can i ask for the tenma and izumi's sister street act pretty please? hehe uwu thank you very much!

Wish I could hug you so bad love, I’m so sorry this one took so long!

I’ll be honest, I had for a long time an idea but I just wasn’t feeling it, didn’t like it. So I waited to get some other ideas and honestly I’m much happier with this version! Hope you like it too.

Note this is another short of the Izumi’s sister!reader Series. I know for sure it will be a mess if I start to link each previous post, so I will put the link to my Masterlist HERE and if anyone wants, you can look for the previous parts there.

Once again, thank you so much for your patience 💕 Please enjoy! 

Izumi’s little sister! Reader. Pt. 4. Street act and thoughts

-

“Wait, you mean THAT'S why everyone keeps Masumi from talking to me?”

Izumi laughed awkwardly inside her coat, small clouds coming out of her mouth due to the cold. “It's fine, Y/N. He’s a good kid and most of the time it only gets a bit weird.”

“Most of the time?”

“Anyway!" Izumi clapped her hands and looked at you with a big grin. "I'm so excited you are staying tonight. We should have done this sooner!"

You raised your eyebrows. It was as clear as day she was trying to get out of the conversation. Sighing, you decided to humor her and let it aside for now. “Are you sure it’s fine though? You said the winter troupe was rehearsing for the upcoming perf-”

“Of course it’s fine! Everyone was delighted when I told them you were coming,” she insisted as you both crossed the Veludo district. “Besides, thanks to you we’ll even get to have curry sooner than I counted for!" as she lifted some bags, you couldn’t help but laugh at her expression.

“You look more excited about the spices and ingredients I brought than me staying over, you know”

“Hey! Not true" Izumi pushed you lightly with her hips, making stumble and giggle. You had been sceptic, but it felt nice having some sibling quality-time with your sister again.

A few minutes later, you two finally arrived at the dorm’s entrance. Izumi took out the key to enter when someone slammed the door so loud you even let out a shrill screech.

“Yes! Yes, I am deeply sorry!” you blinked with a mixture of worry and wonder at the manager of Mankai talking on the phone feeling a deja vu. How could someone bow so fast while moving around? “Of course! Yes, I'm already on my way!"

“Matsukawa-san?!” Izumi called out worriedly, but he was already out of her reach. The man did seem to hear her though, turning slightly but not stopping.

“Everything’s fine, director! Please don’t worry, I’ll make sure…!”

Neither of you got to hear the end of the sentence, the silhouette of the man getting smaller and smaller. You saw your sister looking at the distance with a tired expression “You don’t look surprised”

Izumi shook her head at your comment, pulling the door knock and allowing you to enter “If I had to question everything that happens around here I... Anyway, let's-“

“Here comes the tour guide! Here comes so don’t move another step!”

She pressed the bridge of her nose.

                                      -.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

“Ah, welcome back you two,” you heard Omi’s voice coming from the kitchen as Izumi opened the lounge door with you behind. “You arrived just in time. I’m finishing some scones.”

“Omi-kun, did Matsukawa-san say…”

“Y/N-pi!” Kazunari’s voice vibrated from the living room’s couches. “Come here, we missed you! I’m sure you’re looking as bomb as always though!”

“Took you long enough, Wild Currian Performer.”

Tenma turned to you as well to talk but stopped halfway. “What the hell.”

Looking up, you were thinking the same. Kamekichi had yet to move from your head “Uh, thank you for… bringing me inside.”

The bird flapped its wings vigorously. “Of course, took you long enough! I am the tour guide!” after that, he took fly and left.

You stared at the hallway visibly confused. What was up with this dorm.

“Wait, was he waiting at the entrance all this time?” a blond man with a phone frowned from the couch. “No wonder I couldn’t find him to bring me- shit, advertisements,” he groaned, glancing at you and then turning his attention back to the screen. “Anyway, nice to meet you in person, Y/N-san. Although Citron and Sakuya talk so much about you I feel like I was there the first time.”

“Uh… thanks?”

As if summoned, the spring leader popped his head into the room “I heard the door, did- Y/N-san! Welcome back, I’m so happy you could come to visit us again!”

You smiled at the boy.

“Okay everyone, help yourselves, there’s more if you want.” Omi walked towards the table and left the plate of scones in the middle, allowing everyone to grab a piece.

You took one, humming delightedly at the sweet flavor. The autumn member chuckled “Would you like anything special for tonight’s dinner, Y/N?”

“Ah, we already covered that, Omi-kun! Y/N brought spices from home, this curry will feel so nostalgic!”

All the actors in the room flinched.

“I see…”

“F in the chat. Why am I not surprised” Itaru mused to himself.

“I-I am sure it’s really good…!”

“You two really are family uh…no, wait!” Tenma shook his head. “Forget about curry!”

“Hey! What’s with everyone dissing curry?” you frowned as you cleaned the rest of the crumbs from the scone, raising your eyes to everyone in the room.

“That’s not what I mean” he rubbed his forehead. You and director were too alike. At your confused stare, he pointed at you indignant “You owe me a street act, remember?”

“Ah, that!” taking another scone and biting it, you nodded. You hadn’t really done street acts before, but you would lie if you said you weren’t interested. “Sure, if you still want?”

“You bet I do.”

He had heard Taichi and Juza commenting on your acting during that autumn rehearsal too- there was no way he would pass the opportunity to test it himself.

“U-um!” Sakuya stood up, his eyes shining “If you are going out to do a street act, I’d like to join too!”

You tilted your head at the boy, curious why he seemed so eager. Didn’t they usually do acts outside?

“All right then, let’s do this.”

Tenma smirked walking towards the door, looking somewhat excited too. Well, they wouldn’t be living in a theatre dorm if they didn’t enjoy acting after all, you concluded shrugging it off.

“GG guys.”

“Tenten, do your best!”

“Yeah, try not to embarrass yourself, hack.”

“What does that mean?!”

                                        -.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

By the time you all three walked out of the dorm, jackets and everything on, the sun had started to set up. You shivered. Maybe you should have brought more clothes.

“Was the winter troupe in rehearsals?” you turned to the troupe leaders walking alongside you “Izumi told me they are doing a mystery play of some kind.”

“Yeah, Hisoka-san is the lead and whenever he’s not sleeping he’s pretty good… so they’ve been going all out.”

Sakuya agreed at Tenma’s statement “I’m excited to see them perform!”

As you all continued sharing some light talk, you arrived at Veludo. Looking around, one could see winter was almost there. There weren’t many kids around, just adults and teens returning home walking faster than usual given the time and cold weather.

A bit later, you finally decided to stop on a roundabout next to a fountain to perform.

“What do you guys usually do?”

“We normally just pick a theme and go along with it!” the spring member answered smiling while Tenma stretched. “Do you have anything you’d like to do, Y/N-san?”

You looked around humming. You weren’t usually given the freedom to choose so nothing really came to mind except… “How about doing something similar to the winter troupe? There are not many people around, but maybe we can engage them.”

Sakuya might as well have started jumping.

“A winter-like street act sounds perfect! I don’t think I’ve ever done something similar to what they do. What do you think, Tenma-kun?”

“Not bad. Let’s go with mystery for our theme.”

“Wait, I know I just said that but if the point of a mystery is to solve it, shouldn’t we plan how to-”

Ignoring you, Tenma walked to the middle of the road and turned to you and Sakuya knowingly. His eyes shone with expectations.

You frowned confused still. None of you hadn’t decided anything, was he really-

“You can’t be serious!” Tenma’s tone of voice changed, cutting through the somewhat calm street like a knife. You also noticed his whole demeanour turning hostile, making people look his way. "I have better things to do than wait here to be murdered!”

Even faster than you had anticipated, Sakuya ran to him. "P-please wait, uncle Miles! I won’t move from here until I know who killed my brother. I’m sure the detective must have a reason for having us stay here!"

“Oh?”

“What’s this, a play?”

“Hey, these guys are from Mankai!”

As expected, people stopped noticing the performance.

You felt a thrill in your stomach, engines already turning inside your head. So you had indirectly gotten the part of the detective and therefore in charge of being the one to solve it uh.

Walking slowly, building anticipation, you placed yourself in front of them, blocking out the noise.

Tenma and Sakuya were awaiting, as well as the crowd surrounding you now and it was a strange feeling, if you were honest. Who knew what their next sentences would be after you spoke? You had no idea what could happen, and somehow, that made you smile. This really was a street act.

And so, you chuckled dryly but with elegance “I can assure you, gentlemen, this won't be a problem.”

She’s good. "HA!” Tenma crossed his arms, looking grim “Bet this is just another plot, typical of Marshall and his-”

“Uncle, please!”

And so, it began.

You didn’t notice how long you had this push and pull of allegories, fake names or places. At this point you were just a detective in charge of solving the death of Marshall Jones, a fraud who had been the successor of the Jones Industries.

...And that the biggest suspects were the two people in front of you; his younger brother, William Jones and their uncle, Mr Miles.

“This is stupid, I have men working for me on the government! They will turn a blind eye if I command it I-!”

“Just tell us who did it! I need to know who killed Marshall!” Sakuya trembled anxiously.

You just nodded calmly at both of them “You are right. This has taken too long and I apologize for it.”

Tenma and Sakuya both held their breaths. Acting with you was being a mental workout to keep up, but none of them could dismiss the thrill that came with it.

“However, I feel like I shouldn’t be the only one apologizing. Isn’t that right, Marshall?”

‘What?’

Confused, Tenma followed your pointing finger towards the crowd, and Sakuya almost let a gasp when a shadow made his way towards them. The crowd whispered furiously at the sudden change of flow of the act.

‘M-Misumi-san?!’

‘Since when was he there?!’

While they stared at the summer member, Misumi didn’t look that surprised, to which you inwardly breathed in relief.

Everyone’s eyes laid on him, his attitude perfect for the act, gloomy and mysterious.

Nothing like the happy young man who had wanted to show you triangles the first time you met "I was wondering if you would call out for me at some point, detective."

"Thought I would let you enjoy yourself for a while" you shrugged, and Misumi laughed huskily at your comment.

“Thank you for taking the job.”

“Yeah, yeah. Next time just try to not hide in such a melodramatic way.”

“B-brother? Is that really you…?" Sakuya walked slowly to Misumi, almost making it look like he was about to break into a cry.

Tenma took advantage of the situation to step in. He wasn’t about lose there "Y-you were supposed to be dead! I made sure of-!" he stopped half-way, covering his mouth. "Shit."

“Turns out you should have stayed in the room to check the works of the poison, Mr. Miles.” you made it look like you pulled two sets of handcuffs “As tender as this familiar reunion after death might be, I'm afraid you will have to accompany me. You are both been placed on a charge of murder… and inflicted fraud.”

And scene.

A few seconds passed and you swallowed. Had this been too much?

As soon as the first stupor faded, the now quite big surrounding crowd erupted in applause.

“T-that was amazing!”

“Wait, what?!”

“Didn't think another actor would be hiding!”

“That was Mankai, right? Wanna check their next performance?”

After thanking the audience, you hurried to the boy with a triangular earring, embarrassment running through you, noticing now what you had done. “I-I’m sorry for pulling you in! My body moved on its own and when I saw you…”

Tenma just scoffed, but you could tell he was proud. “Yeah, well- if there’s someone who shouldn’t have any problem with what you just did, it’s him.”

“It really was great!” Sakuya approached you both. “I almost broke character for a second there. Where you watching the whole time, Misumi-san?”

“Not really! I was looking for triangles and then I heard Tenma’s voice… and when I got closer I saw you guys acting!”

“Still, sorry for...”

“Mhm! It’s okay, it’s okay!” suddenly, Misumi started patting your head. “Good job, detective Y/N.”

You felt a blush rush to your cheeks at the touch and so you stepped back, laughing embarrassed. “I-I was also surprised how good everyone is! I mean of course you are, you guys are real actors but-”

"Let’s do another one."

“Uh?” you squeezed your eyes at Tenma. Maybe you hadn’t heard correctly. “But we just-“

“We have time. Misumi, you stay too."

“Okayyyy!”

Turning back to Sakuya the boy laughed nervously, but didn’t look surprised.

Ah, you were so screwed.

                                     -.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

The streetlights started lighting up when you made a decision to finally head back to the dorm.

“That was great!” Sakuya was moving as if he had received a burst of energy “It’s so much fun acting with people outside Mankai, isn’t it!”

“Everyone’s applauses were really suuuper loud too!”

“…and you say you only go sometimes to your theatre club?" Tenma saw you nod and shoved his hands into the pockets of his winter coat, groaning. "Just what's up with people like you and Misumi?"

"Hmh? Y/N and I are similar? Yaaaayy!"

"Misumi? it didn't sound like a compliment to me."

Sakuya laughed at the exchange. It truly had been an amazing experience. "Did you do theatre with director when you two were younger?"

You hummed, thinking about it. To be honest, theatre had always been around but you hadn’t really... When was it that you started acting again?

A scream stopped your train of thought.

"M-Misumi-san?!"

“You scared the daylights out of me, Misumi!"

Turning to the young man, you noticed him making a triangle with his hands and, while using it as a telescope, suddenly speeding up the pace. "It's a triangular cloud!"

"Misumi-san, please don't follow the cloud, we’ll be late for dinner!"

"Tri-triangle, tri-tri-triangle…!"

"Oi Misumi, quit singing and stop! I know you can hear us!"

Watching the interaction, you couldn't help but laugh, running after them.

They were a weird bunch… but in an endearing kind of way.

                                              -.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

“Oh? If it isn’t our cute Y/N” Azuma smiled softly as you all walked in.

“Did you guys go do street acts?” Tasuku lifted his head from the script in his hands. Sakuya nodded eagerly at the older actor, explaining the performances and the audience reaction.

Tsumugi laughed after the spring leader finished. “Seems like you all enjoyed yourselves out there.”

“Ah, youth! If only time would let us stop our bodies to enjoy the real pass of time of our souls!”

“Arisu… you’re annoying...”

“Okay everyone, let’s call the rest and start plating everything, okay?

You spent the rest of the night with the majority of the dorm. 

You had a banter with Masumi about not giving your blessing, being cut by Citron’s weird proverbs and him being at the same time stopped by Tsuzuru. You laughed at Banri’s and Juza’s not so passive aggressive comments, heard some more stories about everyone and of course, you talked about acting and performances.

You shook your head amused. They really were acting addicts.

By the end of dinner, you excused yourself to go to the bathroom.

Closing your eyes, you splashed water in your face, deep in thought. “Living in this dorm must be amazing though…”

They all seemed to work so hard on any act they did… that it confused you. Izumi had always been insistent about you doing theatre and, while you appreciated it, you never took it seriously.

You enjoyed it, sure, but was it maybe because it came naturally to you? …What if you chose to act for real and then didn’t feel the same way after seeing the bad aspects of it?

Your mother was another matter too. She had made it clear she wouldn’t say anything, but you could tell it didn’t… exactly enthusiasm her. She barely mentioned Izumi’s work at home.

However, acting with everyone in Mankai had been fun. Every time.

Even you were surprised. Just how many street acts had you done after the first one today? You hadn’t practiced that much improv in a long time, not even in your theatre club.

It wasn't as of you didn't enjoy your own theatre activities, but surely there had to be a reason why you found yourself so awestruck by everyone here.

Or maybe not. Your mind was a mess. Closing the bathroom door, you sighed before noticing a figure walking towards you.

“Hey, I got the money ”

Without skipping a beat, you ‘tch’ed at Tenma. “First you’ll have to show me the body.”

“I have to see the money,” he pointed at you with his chin.

“First the body… or yours.” A few seconds passed and you both finally sneered. Tenma sighed, shaking his head.

“Thought I could get past you, dammit. You really should consider acting.”

Bullseye.

“Actually- Tenma, I was thinking” you faltered. “Um, did you… always want to be an actor?”

“Well- I was pretty much always in the industry since I was young, so yeah, I’d say so?”

“You never thought it could have been your parent… you know, telling you how you had talent what might have made you start acting?”

The summer leader thought about it, looking at the ceiling. However, he soon shrugged “If so, what?” noticing your confusion, he kept talking. “I mean, I guess they did have some influence… but in the end it was me who decided to stay. For me, not for them.”

You nodded. That made sense.

“Why the question?”

“Ah, nothing it’s just- I think Izumi tends to overreact saying I am like dad, you know, with acting and all. I didn’t think much about it until these acts made me feel…”

“Fulfilled?” The summer leader finished for you. Seeing he was right by looking at your face, he shrugged again in response. “I don’t know Yukio-san to say you are a copy of him, but yeah, you are good. Still though, you should do what you want above everything else.”

You nodded again.

You both headed back to the living room as a heated karaoke discussion between Citron and Banri while a few others tried to act as mediators.

Izumi turned to you and smiled “Everything okay?”

You faced her. The thoughts about acting and theatre could wait. As Tenma said, you didn’t have to rush and for now. You decided to let it aside and enjoy the warm feeling of being reunited with your sister and her weird, but lovable group of actors.

You took her hand and squeezed it. “Yup!”

_________________________________________________________

Hope you guys liked it. Have a wonderful day!  💕

[partywithponies]

hi! i've only ever seen the bbc version of father brown and i've never read the books (i know, i'm so sorry), but i'm super curious about the different versions of father brown and you seem like an expert on each adaptation, so i was wondering if you'd be willing to give me a rundown of sorts on each version/series? i know it's a lot to ask and i may be opening the floodgates here, but there's not a ton of info online elsewhere and i'd love to learn more! thanks either way. ciao!

OH BOY YOU’VE COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE ANON

OKAY SO

As briefly as possible:

The books:

Proof people who complain about the BBC show being “too political” don’t actually know the books at all

Father Brown straight up calls capitalism “evil” and “heresy”

Chesterton says that millionaires dying isn’t a tragedy

Inspector Valentin betrayed us and broke my heart, ACAB I guess

Since every police officer he befriends lets him down in some way, Father Brown’s only real friend is Flambeau, who he goes absolutely everywhere with. They only go on holiday with each other. They’ve been all over the world with each other. I love they

Book Father Brown pretty much never does his goddamn job. We literally never in all the books see him giving mass or taking confession. The closest we get is when he gives an impromptu sermon after seemingly coming back from the dead, where he literally only says "You silly, silly people. God bless you all and give you more sense." then runs away to send a telegram. Useless priest. I love him. 

Book Flambeau is. Incredible. Amazing. Iconic. None of the adaptations have been able to fully capture book Flambeau’s true energy, for he is a walking contradiction who contains multitudes. If all the onscreen Flambeaus fused into one being, THEN you’d have something vaguely resembling book Flambeau.

Book Flambeau is MASSIVE. He’s at least 6′4, he’s broad shouldered, has huge hands, and his super buff. He can just. Pick people up and throw them. He can knock people unconscious with one punch. He fills doorways when he stands in them. He terrifies most people just by drawing himself up to his full height. He also has a very short temper and a very short patience. 

He’s very agile and athletic and can move silently, despite his size. He’s also a master of disguise, somehow. (Explain, Chesterton. Explain. Is everyone in this universe apart from Father Brown, Flambeau, and arguably Valentin massively stupid? Actually don’t answer that I’ve read these books)

Book Flambeau has a habit of flinging people full-bodily down flights of stairs when they anger him or threaten him or Father Brown. Book Flambeau also carries a walking cane with him literally everywhere that has a sword concealed in the handle, plus book Flambeau insists on taking pistols on holiday with him, even when he was just going for a peaceful fishing holiday in the Norfolk Broads. King. 

(Which all makes it so iconic that Father Brown, described as tiny and meek and sensitive, saw this man when he was still a hardened criminal on top of all this and said “THIS ONE I LIKE THIS ONE. I JUST THINK HE’S NEAT” and went off on a jolly through London with him.)

Flambeau’s past is extremely mysterious. We no nothing about his family or his childhood or where he’s from or why he turned to crime. We know he used to be a soldier, and a part of him misses it. We know he used to fight duels semi-regularly, and liked them to be fought the very next morning after they were organised. We know he always used to make sure to visit the dentist on time, even when he was a hardened criminal. (King of good teeth.)  We know he was in a gang at some point. We know he was a student at some point. We don’t know what he studied, but we know he knew Leonard Quinton in “wild student days in Paris”  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). This is literally all we know about his past before he met Father Brown. The man is a riddle wrapped in an enigma. (That’s why Flambeau is so big. He’s full of secrets)

(Fun fact: in the book universe Flambeau is famous and popular in America, so you could say that in universe Flambeau is America’s Favourite Fighting Frenchman.)

Flambeau also loves cats and children, believes in fairies, likes pointing out rocks that look like dragons, and likes giggling and mucking about on the beach with Father Brown.  A baby.

One time Father Brown called Flambeau “full of good and pure thoughts”, but I don’t think that’s quite true, Father. I think Father Brown just has endless faith in Flambeau.

Another thing I think is really neat is that it would’ve been so easy to have Father Brown be the genius and Flambeau his dumb muscle sidekick but that’s not the case at all! They’re both geniuses and they’re both each other’s sidekick, and in fact it’s Flambeau who’s the famous professional private detective, Father Brown is just an amateur. Father Brown is often defined by his connection to Flambeau rather than vice versa, both in the text (the text will frequently refer to them as something along the lines of “Flambeau and his friend the priest”, and on two separate occasions a long list of Flambeau’s possessions is ended with “and a priest”), and in universe (Father Brown himself is massively famous in America in universe largely because of “his long connection to Flambeau). I don’t know I just think it’s neat. 

One time a man threatened Father Brown with a gun and Flambeau just beat him unconscious and then Father Brown and Flambeau just drove away and left him unconscious on the path. It was awesome.

(I’m sorry I rambled about Flambeau for so many words I just. Really really like Flambeau you guys. Father Brown and Flambeau are like two separate crime drama character tropes, the hard boiled cynical P.I. and the cosy eccentric amateur detective, but together as a double act, and I just think that’s really cool.)

Father Brown himself is if anything even more mysterious. He’s just “Father J. Brown, formerly of Cobhole in Essex, currently London”, and he’s “Flambeau’s friend”, and that’s all. That’s all he needs to be.

I also really really love Father Brown himself. I love that he’s allowed to be cheerful and optimistic and childish without any of this making him less clever, and in fact he’s shown time and time again to be cleverer than grumpy cynics who are scornful of childish things. Like, the whole giggling childlike thing isn’t even some kind of act, he’s a genius who understands true human nature, and he also really really likes puppet shows and building sandcastles who telling fairy stories, he really does get a “childish pleasure” from seeing Flambeau swing his sword-stick, and he really does have “strong personal interest in tomfoolery”. I love him.

I must share my favourite book quote about Father Brown himself: “But neither of them is very like the real Father Brown, who is not broken at all; but goes stumping with his stout umbrella through life, liking most of the people in it; accepting the world as his companion, but never as his judge.” uwu uwu uwu I’m cry.

Chesterton just subverts all the expectations character wise, the cheerful bumbling priest is a genius, the violent criminal is a true hero, the noble police officer is a corrupt self-serving murderer. It’s great. We stan. 10000000/10

(I’m not very good at being brief, am I?)

Father Brown, Detective (1934):

The first movie! It’s completely ridiculous. I love it a lot.

It was released just at the start of Hays Code, which, among other things, stated that crime and immorality should not be glorified or glamourised, and all crime and immorality must be seen to be punished by the end of the film. In practice in the case of this film, this means two things:

Paul Lukas!Flambeau is the only Flambeau to actually go to prison (and stay there).

He’s by far the Flambeau who deserves it the least. Lukas!Flambeau never hurt a soul. He just wanted to be loved. #FreeMyBoyHercule

Okay but in all seriousness. There’s a reason I call Paul Lukas!Flambeau “Himbo Flambeau”. Where other Flambeaus are violent or dangerous or geniuses, Lukas!Flambeau is just a big dumb idiot who respects women and has a great sense of humour and writes all his letters in the third person like Elmo for some reason. I would die for him.

At one point Flambeau in disguise is talking to the police, and when the police criticise Flambeau, disguised Flambeau says “Oh but I assure! I have read many things about this Flambeau! He is a fearless, handsome fellow!” The absolute idiot. I adore him with my whole heart.

The film is set in London, like the books, but an idealised Hollywood version of London, i.e., almost entirely unlike London.

Walter Connolly!Father Brown is also entirely lacking in braincells. Look at these two idiot men:

I love them.

Oh oh! And the most important thing, the thing that carries over into most other adaptations? NEW ORIGINAL CHARACTERS!!

This movie invents a few characters that weren’t in the books, but the most important ones are Mrs Boggs:

She doesn’t really add much to the plot but she’s funny and I love her so I’ll forgive it. 

She’s Father Brown’s housekeeper, she’s basically just the fussing maternal female character archetype who fusses around in the background, but she does it well and plays it with charm so I’ll allow it.

(Honestly this whole film is just. Not *technically* good or original, but just so charming and with so much heart that I unironically adore it.)

She tries to make Father Brown drink his milk because it’s good for him even though he doesn’t like it, and keeps checking back in on him to make sure he’s drunk it, it’s literally like a mother and her small child.

She objects to policemen in the presbytery because of their “big muddy boots on the carpet” but is fine with just letting Flambeau in whenever despite the prevailing rumour in London being that Flambeau killed a man. We stan a queen of having priorities. 

When Inspector Valentine summons Father Brown to the station, Mrs Boggs pops up in the background, assumes Father Brown’s being arrested, and says “Oh dear, I knew it!” and it makes me giggle like an idiot every time.

The other, more important original character invented for this movie is my girl Evelyn Fischer:

I love her, I would die for her, she’s flawless.

She’s basically your typical bored and rebellious young aristocrat, but she has a chaotic streak that I adore.

She sneaks out of her family’s mansion to go to a seedy underground club/illegal gambling ring in Soho (I mean I assume it’s Soho, a seedy part of London in that general vicinity, at least. I’m not about to get bogged down trying to understand the geography of London according to Hollywood), flirts with a bunch of strangers for fun, then when the police raid the place and everyone else is panicking she stands stock still, cheerfully says “Oh goody, I shall probably get my name in the papers!” and has to be physically dragged out of the building by Flambeau.

Later on Flambeau breaks into her bedroom in the middle of the night and she’s just very calmly like “What are you doing?”, and even when she finds out it’s Flambeau, a man widely believed to be dangerous and violent, instead of being scared, she calls him an idiot right to his face.

She forms the third part of the main trio of the movie with Father Brown and Flambeau (RIP to Valentine, demoted to tertiary character in a loose adaptation of the one (1) story where he was the main character lol) and together the three of them share a single braincell and have to take turns with it, while Mrs Boggs fusses in the background at the trio’s increasingly bonkers decisions. 

The movie ends with Father Brown and Evelyn sharing an emotional farewell with Flambeau through the window of a police car and promising to look after each other until Flambeau’s released, wow poly rights.

The Adventures of Father Brown (1945):

The adaptation there’s the least amount of information about, but I’ve done my best to find everything I can find on it.

An American radio show made towards the end of wartime, it’s a bit of an odd one, and believe me Father Brown adaptations have gone some odd places.

Only two episodes survive, or at least if more do survive then whoever has them is being very selfish and hoarding them to themselves because only two episodes are publicly available anywhere, and the audio quality of those is a bit dodge. (Though that is to be expected, they do appear to be home recordings, from 1945. Honestly we should be grateful to even have two full episodes.)

If the actors I’ve found are the right people, this show featured by far the youngest Father Brown and Flambeau, at the start of the show the actor playing Father Brown was only 36 and the actor playing Flambeau was only 27. They’re BABIES. (Honestly I’d like to see more age variation in Father Brown adaptations, as I have extensively rambled about before, the characters have literally no canon ages in the books, I think people ought to be a little more imaginative instead of always building on the adaptations that came before, even if it is really cool to see traces of all the previous adaptations in each new one that comes along. It’s something I haven’t noticed as much in adaptations of other golden age detective novels, but the Father Brown adaptations do seem to be stuck in some kind of game of “yes, AND” with each other. I would REALLY like to see an adaptation where Flambeau is older than Father Brown though, it's just something we've never had before despite there being literally nothing in the books to suggest this can't be the case, and I just think it'd be neat.)

This show is really really painfully American, in a real old fashioned "golly gee whizz mister" kind of way, to the point it almost feels like a parody, and I honestly find it kind of endearing.

Even Flambeau frequently slips into a very American accent to the point that my affectionate nickname for him is "The All-American Flambeau", and it's great. He's great.

Honestly I could accept the accents and the slang, for some reason the only thing that really threw me was Father Brown referring to money in cents and nickels.

Needless to say, this adaptation is not set in London. It is instead set in Generic Unspecified Smalltown USA. It's fine. This is fine. I already have so many films and shows set in London, I can swallow my London pride and let America have this.

It's hard to get a real grasp on characters from just two episodes, but I like this Father Brown and Flambeau, even if they are a little overly serious, and even if Flambeau doesn't really do much. He may be a bit serious and a bit useless but All-American Flambeau stays up late anxiously waiting for Father Brown to get home safely and it's very sweet. What a good boy.

All-American Flambeau also carries handcuffs around with him for some reason? But no weapons? Why is All-American Flambeau one of the few Flambeaus not to have a gun? Oh well, he's still sweet.

The 1945 radio show also gives us some original characters, but they're very much side characters and not part of the main plot and it's very hard to get a good grasp on a character from just a few minutes of audio from just two episodes but here's what I could gather:

Nora is another fussing housekeeper! She seems younger and less maternal than Mrs Boggs, but I don't know if that's just because the whole cast was on the younger side. (Could the radio station not find anyone over the age of 40? Were they in short supply in 1945 or something? Ah well.) She seems dedicated to helping Father Brown get some peace and quiet that he never goddamn gets because someone always goes and gets themselves murdered. In both surviving episodes a knock at the door disturbs Father Brown’s rest, Nora opens it professionally, sees it's Flambeau, and immediately drops the professionalism and is immediately like "oh it's only you", so I can only assume every episode started this way. I do hope so.

Father Peter is a junior priest who answers to Father Brown and takes over his duties on his days off. He's implied by the dialogue to be considerably younger than Father Brown, Nora, and Flambeau, but if their actors are anything to go by then they're not that old themselves, and though Father Brown seems to talk to Father Peter like he's a literal child, he is still a priest so I very much doubt that's the case. He seems sweet and harmless, but he's only in one of the surviving episodes and only in that towards the end and mentioned briefly at the start, so it's hard to judge completely. It's highly unlikely that the reason he's not even mentioned in the later surviving episode is because he turned out to secretly be an evil murderer, but, this being a Father Brown adaptation, not entirely unfounded. (But no, he's probably just a sweet boy who exists to have exposition delivered to him.)

Father Brown/The Detective (1954):

The Alec Guinness movie! The one haters of any of the other adaptations complain that adaptation isn't more like, but in my humble opinion, actually the worst adaptation.

Like, I don't hate it! The cast is mostly stellar actors and if I just saw it as a movie on its own, it'd probably be fine. But as a Father Brown adaptation watched in context of the books and the other adaptations, it has a few issues imo.

Most glaringly it has Tone Issues. This film cannot decide if it's a comedy or not. The original posters certainly marketed it as one (see above) and half the cast are noted comic actors who were famous at the time for comedy, goddamn SID JAMES is in it, but the entire third act is played painfully straight, half the cast is mugging for the camera and trying way too hard to be funny while the other cast is giving extremely serious and subtle performances, like. I have no problem with a Father Brown adaptation being played for laughs, and I have no problem with a Father Brown adaptation being played for drama, both can work beautifully, but just PICK ONE, PLEASE

All of my other gripes with the film are very petty and nitpicky, this film calls Father Brown and Flambeau "Ignatius Brown" and "Gustav Flambeau" even though Father Brown has the canon first initial "J" and Flambeau has the canon first name "Hercule", and I hate it a lot. "Ignatius and Gustav" is the second worst thing any Father Brown adaptation has ever done to me.

My other petty nitpick with the movie is that it makes Flambeau literal nobility. The man is a duke. In my opinion Flambeau should always either have a completely mysterious past or be a nobody who came from nothing, someone who grew up with land and title and many servants and a family coat of arms, living in a whole entire castle with his family name and coat of arms engraved into the side of it, growing up and stealing from people, is a whole lot less sympathetic in my opinion. Like to be fair his parents are dead which is sad I guess and his castle has seen better days, but dude. You still own a castle. People who live in castles do not get to lecture other people about materialism.

THAT SAID, Peter Finch is still the best thing about the movie. I love all Flambeaus dearly, even the ones that are little bitches. He’s a bit of an emo “oh woe is me” sadboy, but he’s very charming, and actually good at disguises and being undercover, get dunked on Lukas!Flambeau.

Guinness!Brown likes to feed ducks and Flambeau calls him “the angel with the flaming umbrella”, which makes my inner Good Omens fan who loves finding parallels between Aziraphale & Crowley and Father Brown & Flambeau go 👀

There is one really good scene, in the Paris Catacombs. And by “good” I mean “really really bafflingly gay”:

I truly, truly do not understand how this scene was written, directed, acted, filmed, and edited without ANYONE saying “hey lads does this seem a bit gay to you?”

Father Brown, literally lying on top of Flambeau and pinning him to the ground, whispering: “I would like to set you free.” Flambeau, softly, gently smiling while his face is literal inches away from Father Brown, who is still pinning him to the ground: “Ah, now I begin to understand what you are.”

What the fuck, you guys. What the entire fuck. This scene keeps me up at night.

ANYWAY

This film is also not set in London. It is instead mostly set in a rural English village, and partially in Paris and partially in rural France. Paris is fun but I miss London.

This film also has some original characters. I should probably talk about them. 

This is Lady Warren:

She’s Father Brown’s friend, and she’s a Lady, and that’s all I can really tell you.

She’s very well-mannered and dignified and sophisticated.

She gives me the vibe that she exists solely because the writers decided they needed a female character but then remembered at the last minute they had no idea how to write women, so as a result she is almost entirely irrelevant to the plot. I don’t want to say I don’t like her, because she’s done nothing wrong and it’s not her fault, but like. Why is she here? Poor thing, she deserved to be plot-relevant, really.

She lives in a big mansion and owns some very nice things, and she gets annoyed when she invites Father Brown to lunch but he just stares blankly into space thinking about Flambeau the whole time. (Mood honestly FB. Me too.) 

She flirts a bit with Flambeau in one very pointless scene that came the hell out of nowhere, went nowhere, and was never mentioned again. It was like the writers realised how gay the previous Flambeau scene was and suddenly tried to convince me this man is a hetero. Nice try, writers. You can’t fool me that easily.

The other main original character is Bert:

Alright, own up, whose bright idea was it to put Sid James in a Father Brown movie?

Bert is a smalltime criminal who’s a friend of Father Brown, who Father Brown protects from the police, but tries to convince to get on the straight and narrow by getting him as a job as Lady Warren’s chauffer. 

This is would be fine, were it not for the fact he’s played by Sid James, who only knows how to play Sid James, and is just Sid Jamesing it up in every scene. I don’t have anything against Sid James. I like my fair share of Carry On films. But Sid James does not belong in Father Brown and I want to fight whoever decided he did.

Father Brown (1974):

LADS LADS LADS! It’s time for the first TV show, and it’s time for my favourite boys:

Oh! OH! How I love Kenneth More!Brown and Dennis Burgess!Flambeau. They’re just. So cute. My two special boys.

Not only that, but LADS! We’re finally back in London!

A gritty, dirty, London in the 1930s no less, with cool London buses and political unrest and grimy pubs and the constant threat of world war. Alexa this is so cool play London Calling.

In one episode Flambeau gets verbally abused by an anti-immigration right-wing zealot. :( My poor boy. :( 

(But it’s okay, shortly after Father Brown witnesses this, the racist shows up dead in exactly the place Father Brown earlier said would be a good place to commit a murder. Now I’m not accusing Father Brown of murder, BUT)

This show made the bold but valid decision to skip Flambeau’s redemption arc and start the show when Flambeau is already a seasoned and respected private detective who’s lived in London and been Father Brown’s closest friend for many years. As a result this Father Brown and Flambeau are ridiculously domestic with each other. Look at this peak Old Married Couple energy:

Oh! I just love them.

I would love to know how Burgess!Flambeau’s redemption went down though, because Burgess!Flambeau is BY FAR the least repentant of all the reformed Flambeaus. He proudly boasts about his crimes, he still believes he “deserved to succeed”, he still proudly talks about how “daring and outrageous” he was, which begs the question of why did he stop at all? Literally the only explanation I can think of is that he’s literally only doing this for Father Brown’s sake, which. uwu

Oh GOD I love Burgess!Flambeau. Obviously I love all Flambeaus a lot, and choosing a favourite feels like choosing a favourite child, but let’s just say: if the Flambeaus WERE my children, Burgess!Flambeau would be quite spoilt. My ~ Daring And Outrageous ~ boy.

More!Brown and Burgess!Flambeau are both really really socially awkward, uncomfortable in crowds, and nervously say “oh dear” a lot. They really are ridiculously cute.

They also only giggle and joke and act silly when they’re together, when they’re apart they’re both sort of sad and quiet and withdrawn. (This makes episodes Flambeau isn’t in a bit harder to watch because Father Brown is just kind of lost and lonely without his emotional support Frenchman, with three notable exceptions: that time Father Brown infodumped about the mating habits of whales at the Father Superior for a solid minute, that time Father Brown met a dog and reacted with unrestrained delight, and that time someone mentioned former criminals in passing and Father Brown’s whole face lit up and he started gushing about how Flambeau was living in London now and doing very well as a private detective, completely unprompted.)

This show also brought back book!Brown and Flambeau’s habit of always going on holiday together! Wonderful! We love to see it!

This show is also the first time in the entire Father Brown franchise where gay people are overtly acknowledged to exist! And Father Brown is non-judgemental! A roman catholic priest written in the 1970s and living in the 1930s who canonically isn’t homophobic! I have no choice but to stan forever!

You remember what I said about liking to point out Good Omens parallels? WELL

Kenneth More!Father Brown and Dennis Burgess!Flambeau both live in London

Burgess!Flambeau lives in a brightly lit, pale walled, airy and spacious, modern (for the time) London apartment, while More!Brown prefers gothic architecture and lives in an old, grey, cramped, stone building absolutely full floor to ceiling with books

They go out for intimate candlelit dinners for two at very fancy London restaurants 

Desperate people come to Flambeau because he “knows the game on both sides of the fence”

Father Brown responds with a quiet and miserable “oh dear” when asked to actually do his job instead of just watching plays and drinking wine

Father Brown calls Flambeau “my dear” at times and it personally kills me

I mean. I’m just saying.  👀

Now, isn’t there a third important character in the books? 

Oh yes of course:

HIM! THE BASTARD MAN! INSPECTOR VALENTIN HIMSELF!

(Nobody understands him! IT’S NOT! EVIL!)

This show is the literally only adaptation to include the Valentin betrayal and I’m not gonna lie. It’s a very difficult episode to sit through, it’s far darker and grimmer and more depressing than you would ever expect from Father Brown, but my god it’s done so well. Especially considering the teeny tiny budget they clearly had, only four sets are used the entire episode and the whole thing takes place inside Valentin’s house, but even that adds a certain claustrophobic atmosphere and just. It’s done so well.

I think the entire budget went on gore effects because the decapitated heads in this episode are disturbingly realistic for the time the show was made and genuinely grim to look at. Not to mention the intense downer ending.  Not to mention this was THE FINAL EPISODE OF THE SHOW

THE INTENSE DOWNER ENDING OF THIS EPISODE IS HOW THE WHOLE SHOW ENDED

God it hurts so much but I lowkey love it. 

Father Brown Stories (1984):

The second radio series, and the first BBC adaptation! 

Thrilling times for fans of actors being the right nationality for their characters, because after previously being played by a Hungarian, an American, an Englishman, and a Welshman, Flambeau is finally being played by a Frenchman, Olivier Pierre!

Father Brown himself is played by Andrew Sachs, Manuel himself. 

Not gonna lie. It’s kind of hard to figure out how to explain the radio show.

We’re? Maybe back in London? Honestly it’s really unclear.

Pierre!Flambeau is kind of adorable. He’s described as looking like book!Flambeau physically, huge and buff and terrifying, but he has literally none of the temper or predisposition to violence. 

Pierre!Flambeau doesn’t speak very good English at all, and oftentimes will react with “...What?” when he hears a strange English idiom or turn of phrase.

One time he says “Perhaps we should.. push on? SEE HOW I AM MASTERING YOUR ENGLISH IDIOMS” and it’s the cutest thing that’s ever happened.

To try and get better at understanding both the English language and the English people, Flambeau starts obsessively reading Alice in Wonderland and Through The Looking Glass, massive giant adorable boy.

One time Father Brown gets complimented of being academically minded and well read, and then asked if Flambeau is also a keen reader, and when Flambeau tries to say no, Father Brown interrupts and proudly and earnestly says “Oh yes! Monsieur Flambeau is one of our top Lewis Carroll scholars!”, it’s honestly adorable.

This adaptation finally uses “John” as Father Brown’s first name, as it should always have been! I love it!

This series said FUCK Father Brown having a mysterious past and no former friends or relatives! Now he has siblings, and friends who knew him before he was a priest who still call him “John”!

Father Brown himself speaks in a very sweet and soft and wavering way that makes my heart melt.

Sadly and unfortunately, I have to acknowledge the final episode of the show, which is the top worst thing any Father Brown adaptation has ever done to me.

It’s. It’s a crossover. With Sherlock Holmes. Actual goddamn Sherlock Holmes is in it. I hate it. I hate it so much. “Elementary, my dear Flambeau” shut the hell up, if this Flambeau won’t fling you down a flight of stairs then I will.

I deliberately avoided all Holmes-related media for THREE YEARS only for the awful man to spring up on me in Father Brown?? How could you do this to me???

I’m going to yeet myself into the sun, bye everyone.

(On the plus side, the Sherlock Holmes episode does have one of Father Brown’s parishioners recognise Flambeau as “a close friend of Father Brown and a frequent visitor to his room”  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), so that’s nice I suppose. I’ll still never forgive the writers of this show for putting me through this.)

Father Brown (2013):

YOU ARE HERE.

I kind of see the current TV series as a culmination of all the adaptations that’ve come before? I can definitely see echoes of all of them in it.

And it’s great! I really really love it. I love it a lot. 

I think about it daily.

My one and only complaint I would have is that Flambeau isn’t in it enough. Not just because he’s my favourite, though I’d obviously not be fooling anyone who’s read all this if I said he isn’t.

And it’s not that I don’t love the show as it is, and find the one Flambeau episode a series always something really special, so I don’t know what I’d have the writers do, exactly. 

But it’s just. In literally every other version of Father Brown, Flambeau is the second most important character and the second main protagonist, and to have him in this show so little that some fans or reviewers call him a “minor character” and others call him a “recurring villain”, though I myself don’t see him either of those ways of course because he’s still Flambeau, it’s just kinda sad and painful, y’know?

I don’t know. Maybe I’m just being silly.

Hopefully he’s a regular in at least the final season of the show. If I don’t get my favourite partners in crime solving I’m rioting. 

Anyway that’s my “””brief””” rundown on all the main versions of Father Brown!! I hope you liked it!!

[twoidiotwriters1]

Written In The Stars CXLV (Harry Potter xF!Oc)

A/N: Last chapter before we dive into the good stuff uwu -Danny

Words: 4,675 

Series’ Masterlist

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Listen to: ‘Broken’ (Acoustic) -by lovelytheband

Chapter Seven: The Chosen Ones.

"Our feet'll be seen!" Hermione complained.

"It doesn't matter," The boy urged her. "Just hurry!"

"Ouch!"

"Shh! Look! He's in there!" Hermione whispered.

Draco Malfoy was at Borgin and Burkes, he had his back turn to them.

"If only we could hear what they're saying!" Hermione lamented.

"We can!" said Ron. "Hang on — damn —"

Ron dropped the boxes he was still holding, Mel was quick to pick them up and scowled at him for bringing them along.

"Thanks," He smiled, handing something to her. "Extendable Ears, look..."

"Fantastic! Oh, I hope the door isn't Imperturbable —"

"No!" said Ron brightly. "Listen!"

"...you know how to fix it?"

"Possibly," said the man. "I'll need to see it, though. Why don't you bring it into the shop?"

"I can't. It's got to stay put. I just need you to tell me how to do it."

"Well, without seeing it, I must say it will be a very difficult job, perhaps impossible. I couldn't guarantee anything."

"No? Perhaps this will make you more confident."

Malfoy got closer to the man, and his eyes widened, looking down at whatever the boy was showing.

"Tell anyone," said Malfoy, "and there will be retribution. You know Fenrir Greyback? He's a family friend. He'll be dropping in from time to time to make sure you're giving the problem your full attention."

"There will be no need for —"

"I'll decide that. Well, I'd better be off. And don't forget to keep that one safe, I'll need it."

"Perhaps you'd like to take it now?"

"No, of course I wouldn't, you stupid little man, how would I look carrying that down the street? Just don't sell it."

"Of course not... sir."

"Not a word to anyone, Borgin, and that includes my mother, understand?"

"Naturally, naturally..."

"What was that about?" whispered Ron.

"Dunno," said Harry. "He wants something mended... and he wants to reserve something in there... Could you see what he pointed at when he said 'that one'?"

"No, he was behind that cabinet —"

"You three stay here," whispered Hermione.

"What are you — ?"

Hermione walked out of the cloak, Mel whimpered.

"Why is she like this?" She groaned.

Ron put the Extendable Ears back in place.

"Hello, horrible morning, isn't it?" Hermione said happily.

Mel grimaced.

"That's exactly why she isn't a Ravenclaw! We should've stopped her..."

"Is this necklace for sale?"

"If you've got one and a half thousand Galleons," said Mr Borgin.

"Oh — er — no, I haven't got quite that much– And... what about this lovely — um — skull?"

"Sixteen Galleons."

"So it's for sale, then? It isn't being... kept for anyone?"

She wanted to march into the shop and drag Hermione out of it, but she couldn't risk being recognized by the man. Not that he'd seen her before, but she didn't know exactly how many people knew her by sight.

"The thing is, that — er — boy who was in here just now, Draco Malfoy, well, he's a friend of mine, and I want to get him a birthday present, but if he's already reserved anything, I obviously don't want to get him the same thing, so... um..."

"Out," Borgin spat. "Get out!"

Mel was glad that was the only thing the man had done, Hermione had taken too many risks walking up to him like that.

"Ah well," said Ron once Hermione was with them. "Worth a try, but you were a bit obvious —"

"Well, next time you can show me how it's done, Master of Mystery!" Hermione hissed.

"You leave the lying to me next time," Mel said. "No offence, 'Mione, but if you ever do such a reckless thing again I'll petrify you and drag you out of the shop myself."

Harry obsessively discussed Malfoy until Ron and Hermione both got sick of listening. Mel wasn't as fixated on it, but she agreed that it was rather suspicious. Erick would participate in the debates, but Mel had the feeling he just found entertaining the way Harry would get all upset about it.

"Malfoy's father's in Azkaban. Don't you think Malfoy'd like revenge?" Harry was pacing up and down the room.

"Malfoy, revenge?" Ron raised a brow. "What can he do about it?"

"That's my point, I don't know! But he's up to something and I think we should take it seriously. His father's a Death Eater and —"

Harry stopped, he kept his gaze out the window as if something had just hit him. Erick put the book down, mildly interested.

"I think his brain finally collapsed..."

"Harry?" Hermione approached with caution. "What's wrong?"

"Your scar's not hurting again, is it?" Ron asked.

"No," Mel yawned. "That's the face he makes when he's got an idea..."

"He's a Death Eater," said Harry. "He's replaced his father as a Death Eater!"

"Malfoy?" Ron laughed. "He's sixteen, Harry! You think You-Know-Who would let Malfoy join?"

"Regulus Black joined around the same time," Mel replied, thinking about it for a moment. "And it's not exactly 'letting him join' — If Voldemort wants you then you're in."

"You're agreeing with him?" Erick raised a brow.

"It seems very unlikely, guys," said Hermione. "What makes you think — ?"

"In Madam Malkin's. She didn't touch him, but he yelled and jerked his arm away from her when she went to roll up his sleeve. It was his left arm. He's been branded with the Dark Mark."

"Oh!" Mel covered her mouth. "And in Borgin and Burkes he showed something to Borgin and he looked really frightened!"

"Exactly!" Harry said.

"Well..." said Ron.

"I'm not sure..."

"Yeah, I still don't reckon You-Know-Who would let Malfoy join..."

Mel stood up, both Hermione and Ron flinched, but she didn't notice.

"I doubt Malfoy asked for a place, but his father messed up his mission, half of Voldemort's followers ended up in Azkaban or injured because of him."

"I wouldn't put past him actually wanting to join, though," Harry commented. "We know he enjoys watching other people suffer."

Mel turned to look at Erick, asking him to give his opinion. Erick's cheeks turned pink, he cleared his throat and shrugged.

"Voldemort's too smart to chose Malfoy as a close follower, don't you think?"

Mel picked up a bunch of dirty clothes to take them to the laundry room. Harry picked up his own and walked out at the same time.

"I know we're right," He told her.

"I didn't agree with you to make you a favour," She blurted out.

"I know," He shrugged. "I still appreciate it, though."

Ginny walked into them, holding her own pile of clean clothes.

"I wouldn't go in the kitchen just now," She raised a brow. "There's a lot of Phlegm around."

"We'll be careful not to slip in it," Harry replied playfully.

"Don't call her that!" Mel looked over her shoulder at Ginny as she left the landing.

"Sorry!" Ginny apologized with a taunting smile.

Mel locked eyes with Harry, he had a teasing smirk on his face. "Oh, shut up, Glasses."

"I'm not talking! C'mon..."

"... Bill and I 'ave almost decided on only two bridesmaids, Ginny and Gabrielle will look very sweet together. I am thinking of dressing them in pale gold — pink would of course be 'orrible with Ginny's 'air —"

"Ah, children!" Mrs Weasley greeted them. "Good, I wanted to explain about the security arrangements for the journey to Hogwarts tomorrow. We've got Ministry cars again, and there will be Aurors waiting at the station —"

"Is Tonks going to be there?" asked Harry.

"No, I don't think so, she's been stationed somewhere else from what Arthur said."

"She has let 'erself go, that Tonks," Fleur said distractedly, she was feeding Regulus and seemed to be enjoying it a lot. "A big mistake if you ask —"

"Now, Fleur," Emily walked into the room, holding a basket. "You don't want to be one of those women that gossip, do you? Makes you sound like an old lady."

Fleur seemed utterly shocked at this statement.

"Yes, thank you," said Mrs Weasley, frowning a bit at Emily's comment. "You'd better get on, dears, I want the trunks ready tonight, if possible, so we don't have the usual last-minute scramble."

"Are you coming with us, mum?" Mel asked, leaning over Fleur to give her brother a kiss on the forehead.

"I always do, love," The woman replied, lovingly staring at her children.

"Hey, Glasses," She told Harry as they approached the barrier. "I know you're sad about not being an Auror, but if I'm honest they don't look like a cheerful lot, do they?"

"Tonks used to be cheerful," Harry offered doubtfully.

"Quick, quick, through the barrier," said Mrs Weasley. "Harry and Mel better go first, with —"

Each Auror picked a kid and seized them.

"I can walk, thanks," Harry grumbled, moving away from his guard.

Mel was a bit more polite and pushed away gently. Both went through the barrier closely followed by their guards, and platform nine and three-quarters quickly welcomed them, loud, bright, and full of friendly faces.

Harry told the group to look for a compartment together.

"We can't, Harry," said Hermione. "We've got to go to the prefects' carriage first and then patrol the corridors for a bit."

"Oh, right," Erick blinked. "I'm Headboy — I have to give you instructions..."

"You'd better get straight on the train, all of you, you've only got a few minutes to go," said Mrs Weasley. "Well, have a lovely term, Ron..."

Emily hugged her one last time, Mel said goodbye to both, her and Regulus, Erick did the same.

"Mr Weasley, can I have a quick word?" said Harry.

"Of course," Mr Weasley followed Harry with an expression of polite surprise.

Emily stared at her and Erick looking for an explanation, Erick was about to talk but Mel spoke over him.

"He just wants to make sure you'll be safe. He's been having nightmares, you see..."

Emily didn't look convinced. "Please, behave this year, Mel."

"I don't intend to cause trouble," She smiled. "I have work to do."

"Try not to —"

"I'll try my best to not spend every day studying, yes," She replied with amusement. "Take care, Mum."

Harry came back right before the train started to leave the station, Emily hurriedly bid him goodbye and he closed the door behind him.

"Now, dears, you're coming to us for Christmas, it's all fixed with Dumbledore, so we'll see you quite soon," said Mrs Weasley through the window. "You make sure you look after yourself and — be good and — stay safe!"

When the train left the station completely, Mel and Harry were left alone.

"What did you tell Mr Weasley?"

"To take a look at Malfoy's house. Why?"

"Just wanted to know," She shrugged. "If we're doing this 'chosen one' thing together, I think we should inform each other about our doings on that matter... you know, I told you about the death eaters that I fought during the mission and all..."

"Right," Harry looked away. "I think we should talk to Dumbledore first, Mel, before we make any big decisions."

Mel frowned. "Are you trying to push me out of this again?"

"I know better," Harry rolled his eyes. "I'm just saying... we're not sure your idea will work."

"Has a Dumbledore ever been wrong?"

"Hey, there's Ginny," He said, walking away from the conversation.

Mel was used to the way people would stare at them, the younger would press their faces against the windows and point. She, in true Dumbledore fashion, smiled politely and pretended not to mind, Harry, on the other hand, looked terribly uncomfortable, but maybe that had to do with their conversation. When they got to Ginny he tapped her on the shoulder.

"Fancy trying to find a compartment with us?"

"I can't, Harry, I said I'd meet Dean," said Ginny. "See you later."

"Right," Harry watched her leave with a small frown.

Ginny's friends were still all there, and they were ogling at Harry as if he were a Pygmy Puff.

"Hi, Harry!" said a voice from behind them.

"Neville!" They said in unison.

"Hello," Luna was there as well, right behind Neville.

"Luna, hi, how are you?"

"Very well, thank you."

"Quibbler still going strong, then?" asked Harry, looking down at the magazine she was holding.

"Oh yes, circulation's well up!"

"Let's find seats..."

Harry urged them forward, Mel's friends would wave at her as she walked past, she felt a bit uneasy, wondered if they were genuinely happy to see her or if it had to do with their fame.

"They're even staring at us!" said Neville once they entered an empty compartment. "Because we're with you!"

"They're staring at you because you were at the Ministry too," said Harry. "Our little adventure there was all over the Daily Prophet, you must've seen it."

"Yes, I thought Gran would be angry about all the publicity," said Neville, "but she was really pleased. Says I'm starting to live up to my dad at long last. She bought me a new wand, look! Cherry and unicorn hair! We think it was one of the last Ollivander ever sold, he vanished next day — oi, come back here, Trevor!"

He jumped out and got under the seat to retrieve his pet.

"Nice to hear that," Mel said delightedly. "You know, I hadn't really thought about it, but I guess it's true, all of you must be popular now! Erick must be having the time of his life..."

"Are we still doing D.A. meetings this year?" Luna asked them.

"No point now we've got rid of Umbridge, is there?" said Harry, sitting down next to Mel.

"I liked the D.A.! I learned loads with you!" Neville pouted, crawling out of the seat.

"I enjoyed the meetings too," said Luna. "It was like having friends."

"You do know we're your friends, right?" Mel asked in amusement, then she frowned. "Unless it's you who don't consider us friends..."

Before Luna could reply, a group of fourth-year girls all clambered outside their compartment, giggling and arguing.

"You ask them!"

"No, you!"

"I'll do it!" One of the girls opened their door and stepped in. "Hi, Harry, I'm Romilda, Romilda Vane. Why don't you and Mel join us in our compartment? You don't have to sit with them," She glanced at Neville's butt, who was once again looking for Trevor, and Luna, who was now wearing her Spectrespecs.

Harry and Mel shared a look.

"They're friends of ours," He said.

"You're welcome to stay, though," Mel smiled, although her gaze was saying the opposite. "You might learn a thing or two from them — like manners."

"Er... I don't think we..." Romilda blinked, clearly embarrassed. "Okay... see you..."

"People expect you to have cooler friends than us," said Luna when the girls were out of earshot.

"You are cool," Harry shrugged. "None of them was at the Ministry. They didn't fight with me."

"Erick counts as one of your friends, then?" Mel smirked. "You just called him cool."

Harry glared at her, but it was playful. He sighed dramatically.

"Well, he did risk his life to help us... although he still annoys me," Mel swatted his arm lightly and he laughed. "Yeah, we're friends."

"I've had my own share of 'cool friends'," She added, looking back at Luna. "None of them are as clever or interesting as you."

"That's a very nice thing to say," Luna smiled.

"We didn't face him, though," Neville crawled out again, this time holding Trevor. "You did. You should hear my gran talk about you. 'Those Potter and Dumbledore got more backbone than the whole Ministry of Magic put together!' She'd give anything to have you as grandchildren..."

Harry and Mel remained silent, both thinking about how Neville could've been the boy in the prophecy. Harry asked about Neville's O.W.L.'s and he happily started to list them.  Harry had an absent expression, Mel did her best to keep the conversation flowing, although she was having a hard time concentrating when she also had her mind on what they'd talked about with Dumbledore.

"You know, Nev," Mel brushed the dust out of his clothes. "I'll need your help to keep up with Herbology. Can you believe it was my lowest O.W.L? I can't keep a plant alive no matter what I do!"

"Sure thing, if you help me with Charms," He looked at Harry. "You all right, Harry? You look funny."

"Sorry — I —"

"Wrackspurt got you?" asked Luna.

"I — what?"

"A Wrackspurt... They're invisible. They float in through your ears and make your brain go fuzzy — I thought I felt one zooming around in here."

Mel covered her grin while the boys hurriedly started talking about Quidditch, at that she joined happily. Ron and Hermione entered the compartment a few hours later.

"Wish the lunch trolley would hurry up, I'm starving... Hi, Neville. Hi, Luna. Guess what?" Ron turned to them. "Malfoy's not doing prefect duty. He's just sitting in his compartment with the other Slytherins, we saw him when we passed."

"What did he do when he saw you?" Harry inquired.

"The usual," Ron lifted his middle finger with disinterest and shrugged. "Not like him, though, is it? Well — that is," He lifted his middle finger again. "But why isn't he out there bullying first years?"

"Dunno," said Harry, his eyes fixed on the door.

"Bet his father won't hear about that — Wait he can't talk to his father, he's in Azkaban," Mel snorted, Hermione gave her a severe look. "Perhaps he refuses to obey Erick? Where is he, by the way?"

"Still on duty," Hermione said. "He's the Headboy, he's got lots of responsibilities now, but it looks like he's warming up to them!"

"Of course he is, it was his lifelong dream, wasn't it?" Ron raised a brow. "Although he doesn't look as pleased as I would've imagined," He leaned forward, looking worried. "He got a few nasty comments from some Slytherins. I think he's fallen out of their grace."

"It does look like it," Hermione sighed. "But he's gained everyone else's! You should've seen the way other Prefects were looking at him, it felt like we were standing next to some kind of royalty!"

"He's still Slytherin's Prince, then," Mel smirked. "Even if Malfoy and the lot refuse to admit it —"

"I'm supposed to deliver these to Neville Longbottom, Mel Dumbledore, and Harry P-Potter," A little girl abruptly interrupted, standing outside the compartment and holding three scrolls of parchment.

As soon as they grabbed them, the girl rushed out.

"What is it?" Ron frowned.

"An invitation," said Harry.

"Brilliant," Mel said, and she felt genuinely curious about it.

'Mel,

Professor H. E. F. Slughorn'

"Who's Professor Slughorn?" asked Neville.

"New teacher," said Harry. "Well, I suppose we'll have to go, won't we?"

"But what does he want me for?" asked Neville anxiously.

"No idea — Listen," He looked at Neville and Mel, "let's go under the Invisibility Cloak, then we might get a good look at Malfoy on the way, see what he's up to."

They didn't get to use it, though. The halls were packed with people, and they would get even fuller whenever the students noticed them. At some point, they ran into Cho Chang and Marietta, who was still showing a faint 'SNEAK' across her forehead. Mel caught Harry smirking at the sight and she scolded him, he immediately looked away.

"She was only trying to protect her family! That's no way to treat your ex-girlfriend's —"

"It's not like I dated her for long," He grumbled.

Mel decided not to comment, they reached Slughorn's compartment in no time, he'd already found his new group of promising students.

"Harry, m'boy!" Slughorn jumped to his feet. "Good to see you, good to see you! Same goes for you, Miss Dumbledore! And you must be Mr Longbottom!"

Erick was there too. She sat next to him, Neville and Harry occupied the last seats available. Apart from them she also recognized Blaise Zabini and, to her surprise, Ginny. Her eyes moved a bit further to the left and she groaned.

"Now, do you know everyone?" Slughorn asked. "Well I know for certain you know Erick Flint, Blaise Zabini is in your year, of course — This is Cormac McLaggen, perhaps you've come across each other — ? No?"

Mel and Erick replied with low grumbles. Cormac had been the boy who had asked her out on a dare two years ago, and she wasn't fond of him. Erick disliked him too, given that they were from the same year.

"— and this is Marcus Belby, I don't know whether..? And this charming young lady tells me she knows you!" Ginny looked at them with a grimace. "Well now, this is most pleasant. A chance to get to know you all a little better. Here, take a napkin. I've packed my own lunch; the trolley, as I remember it, is heavy on licorice wands, and a poor old man's digestive system isn't quite up to such things... Pheasant, Belby?"

The boy gave a start and grabbed a bit fearfully.

"I was just telling young Marcus here that I had the pleasure of teaching his Uncle Damocles... Outstanding wizard, outstanding, and his Order of Merlin most well-deserved. Do you see much of your uncle, Marcus? Anapneo," said Slughorn, who'd taken the poor boy by surprise and now he was choking.

"Not... not much of him, no."

"Well, of course, I daresay he's busy," said Slughorn calmly. "I doubt he invented the Wolfsbane Potion without considerable hard work!"

"I suppose..." said Belby. "Er... he and my dad don't get on very well, you see, so I don't really know much about..."

Slughorn turned to McLaggen.

"Now, you, Cormac. I happen to know you see a lot of your Uncle Tiberius, because he has a rather splendid picture of the two of you hunting nogtails in, I think, Norfolk?"

"Oh, yeah, that was fun, that was. We went with Bertie Higgs and Rufus Scrimgeour — this was before he became Minister, obviously —"

Erick and Mel rolled their eyes at his story, although everyone seemed to miss it.

"Ah, you know Bertie and Rufus too?" beamed Slughorn, now offering around a small tray of pies. Belby was missed out. "Now tell me..."

Everyone was thoroughly interviewed so Slughorn could double-check whether they were worthy or not. Once he finished with Erick ('Headboy! Eliot would be proud of you no doubt!'), he moved his attention to her and Harry.

"And now," Slughorn shifted excitedly. "Harry Potter! Where to begin? I feel I barely scratched the surface when we met over the summer! 'The Chosen One,' they're calling you now!"

Harry just stared at him, waiting.

"Of course, there have been rumours for years... I remember when — well — after that terrible night — Lily — James — Matthew– and you survived — and the word was that you must have powers beyond the ordinary —"

Zabini let out a sarcastic scoff.

"Yeah, Zabini, because you're so talented... at posing..." Ginny glared.

"Oh dear!" chuckled Slughorn. "You want to be careful, Blaise! I saw this young lady perform the most marvelous Bat-Bogey Hex as I was passing her carriage! I wouldn't cross her!"

"So that's why Ginny got recruited?" Mel whispered.

"I was there," Erick smirked. "I'll never forget it."

"Anyway," Slughorn continued. "Such rumors this summer. Of course, one doesn't know what to believe, the Prophet has been known to print inaccuracies, make mistakes — but there seems little doubt, given the number of witnesses, that there was quite a disturbance at the Ministry and that you were there in the thick of it all!"

Harry merely nodded.

"So modest, so modest, no wonder Dumbledore is so fond — you were there, then? But the rest of the stories — so sensational, of course, one doesn't know quite what to believe — this fabled prophecy, for instance —"

"We never heard a prophecy," Neville said.

"That's right," Ginny added. "Neville and I were both there too, Erick as well, and all this 'Chosen One' rubbish is just the Prophet making things up as usual."

"You were both there too, were you?" Slughorn's smiled grew.

"Professor," Mel spoke, leaning forward. "Trusting other people's word without any proof can be dangerous. Look at what happened last year, when everyone believed Fudge..."

"Yes... well... it is true that the Prophet often exaggerates, of course..." Slughorn said. "Sharp mind you got there, Miss Dumbledore! You sound wise beyond your years, must be those genes in you... I've heard your uncle has been giving you private lessons since your first year!"

Mel smiled politely, she tilted her head and spoke with a hint of amusement.

"Nothing too impressive. My father died before I could talk to him, he's just passing the help my father wanted to give me."

Harry did a strange noise then, Mel looked at him but Harry was quick to recover, he looked away and refused to meet her gaze for the rest of the trip.

Slughorn nodded. "Kind of him indeed... and you're the last woman of that family, aren't you? The things I've heard about the Dumbledore women through the years!"

"All... all interesting I bet," Mel continued, a bit lost. "I know it's not my place, Professor, but surely you don't give much credit to those stories? I know Professor Dumbledore chose you for a reason... so you must be smarter than that."

Whether if Slughorn was insulted by her comment or not, he didn't show it, but if he wanted to verify she was worthy of his attention she'd make sure he'll have to work hard for a concrete answer. At least this way she'd secure he would continue to be interested, which was exactly what her uncle wanted.

"I'm glad that's over," muttered Neville once they were out of the compartment. "Strange man, isn't he?"

"Yeah, he is a bit," Harry admitted. "How come you ended up in there, Ginny?"

"He saw me hex Zacharias Smith. You remember that idiot from Hufflepuff who was in the D.A.? He kept on and on asking about what happened at the Ministry and in the end he annoyed me so much I hexed him — when Slughorn came in I thought I was going to get detention, but he just thought it was a really good hex and invited me to lunch! Mad, eh?"

"I can't believe I missed that!" Mel complained.

"You can 'read my mind' later, I won't stop thinking about it until I die," Erick grinned.

"Better reason for inviting someone than because their mother's famous," Harry muttered, following Zabini with his eyes, "or their uncle..."

"Thanks," Erick and Mel said in unison. "What?" They asked again, looking at each other.

"He didn't invite you because of someone you know!" Mel exclaimed. "He did it because you're smart and talented!"

"Like he cares about my grades," Erick rolled his eyes. "He did it because I got most of my Grandad's money."

"Well at least he doesn't think you're some sort of endangered creature," Mel huffed. "You saw how he looked at me? 'The last woman in your family' — I'll gladly drop dead if it means people'll stop calling me the Dumbledore girl..."

"You don't mean that," Erick looked genuinely alarmed. "We need you alive, you know it."

"I–I know," She restrained herself from making a joke. "I didn't mean that —" She looked away, Harry was gone. "Hey, where's Glasses?"

"He said he'd see us later," Ginny raised a brow. "He put on his cloak."

"Couldn't wait a day before getting in trouble?" Mel groaned.

"That's Potter for you," Erick replied with a sigh.

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[orangeseoks]

Trouble Maker // j.jk

part two - part one here

[ disclaimer! ]

this is of pure fiction and is NOT to be taken seriously!

genre ;; fluff, smut, angst | hybrid au

pairing ;; jungkook x reader, hybrid!jk x reader, (kinda) namjoon x reader.

notes ;; jungkook is a horny mf, reader is a virgin *cOuGh*, mentions of abuse, a few fights happen here and there, namjoon is a complete dork, (y/n) and namjoon are besties uwu, eventual smut, jk randomly finds porn, masterbation, (y/n) fights with her family + daddy issues, highschool is hard, jk has a virgin kink, surprise heats, jk has wet dreams (ovo; ).

warning ;; there may be quite a bit of fob in here, idk

[ unedited ]

[ all rights reserved @orangeseoks ]

Shivering, I clutch the bags in my hands tightly, waiting silently for Namjoon to return from the bathroom - I kinda wish the shopping centre didn’t have toilets located outside of the large building. Maybe it was so its easier for costumers of the clothes store to access a restroom without having to waddle back inside?

I shrug the thought away with a huff, watching a cloud of smoke appear in front me, “hurry up Namjoon.” I whisper to myself, shifting awkwardly from foot to foot, “first a bus stop and now outside a public restroom?” A voice chuckles - instantly catching my attention.

“O-Oh, um! I’m actually waiting for a friend of mine, he’s - you know..” Smiling awkwardly, I sniff and look up at the person speaking. “Wait, bus stop?” My mouth literally hangs open at sight of the person standing before me. “Your the guy from last night, right?”

The man nods, giving me a wide smile, “so, do you need help carrying those bags?” He asks out of the blue, fiddling with his beanie before gazing back at me. Clearing my throat awkwardly I shake my head, “no I’m fine. My friend, he should be out soon.”

“You sure? It looks like you’ve been standing out here for awhile, your lips are practically blue, you know?” I instantly gasp, transferring some bags from one hand to the other to touch my lips. “No way! They aren’t are they? Please tell me your lying!”

Panic washes over me as I rub furiously at my lips, attempting to warm them with the constant friction. The man before me merely laughs at my actions, “it was a mindless joke. Don’t be so serious,” he chuckles, shifting in his spot to lean against a pillar. I huff and drop my hand to my side, “that wasn’t funny.”

The man hums, eyeing me up and down with a questionable look, I gulp at his odd action and avert my gaze from him. “Are you always filled with so much anxiety?”

What?

Raising an eyebrow, I glance at the man, “sorry?” I retort, grasping tighter onto the bags in my hands. The mans quirks a brow, wetting his lips before speaking yet again; “you’re always so anxious. Its intoxicating,” he says. Confusing me even more, fazed I blink once - twice.

What?

“Nevermind,” he utters, scuffing the toe of his shoe on the concrete beneath him. Nodding, I glance at the mens bathroom, relieved to finally see Namjoon walking out; his hands tucked neatly into the pockets of his coat.

“Ah, (Y/n), sorry to keep you waiting - there was a, erm, a line.”

“Its fine, c-can we just go? Its really cold,” Namjoon nods slowly, his eyes flickering towards the man lent against the pillar. “Did something happen?” He asks, taking a handful of bags from me. I simply shake my head and smile, “no.”

“You sure-”

“Nothing happened, he was just keeping me company while you were busy.”

Namjoon hums, “okay. Thanks man,” he murmurs the last part, walking off leaving me to trail behind him. The faint echo of the mans goodbye filling the oddly quiet parking lot.

Waddling back into my small home, I dump the bags I was carrying onto the couch, flopping lifelessly onto the floor with a faint oh my god. I’d purchased so much while out with Namjoon, maybe a bit too much.

My poor wallet.

Sighing, I roll onto my back and stare up at my boring ceiling, “your bunny (Y/n).” Namjoon sputters from above me, crouching over my thighs and holding the wriggling rabbit in his hands. “Found him buried under your kimono, he wouldn’t stop smelling the damn thing.”

Giggling, I take Jungkook from his hands, placing him onto my chest - the ball of fur quickly hopping over to my neck and beginning to sniff and lick the area. “Gosh you,” I say between laughs, “you’re so clingy.”

“He likes you.. alot, I think I’m jealous.” Namjoon laughs, walking into the kitchen to boil the jug. Grinning, I sit up, being sure to keep Jungkook in his spot since he seems to comfortable there. “Is that a confession Mr Kim?”

Snicking, Namjoon leans against the tall island between the kitchen and living room - his brows raised. “Its whatever you want it to be,” he says, tossing me a wink. I instantly break into a fit of giggles, a raging blush colouring my cheeks.

“Fuck you,” I shriek, listening to the jug flick off, Namjoon shuffling toward it and pouring the hot water into his cup. “Can you make me a hot chocolate please,” I ask. Pecking Jungkook’s forehead gently, “yeah.” Is all Namjoon says in response. I thank him in return, deciding to gently run my fingers through Jungkook’s fur.

Dumb move.

Flinching, the bunny in my warmth drops from his spot and into my lap with a grunt, frowning I pick him back up and coo, “sorry my little baby.” I apologise, noticing Namjoon walking over with both our drinks, I mouth a thank you and take my mug from his hand.

“So,” Namjoon starts taking a long sip of his drink, “who was that guy earlier?” Sighing, I look up at Namjoon from my drink, “an acquaintance? I dunno, we only met last night.”

“Where?”

“At the bus stop.”

“The bus stop?” He gawks, leaning forward in his seat, “yes! The bus stop, I was sitting and eating!”

“Seriously? You could’ve waiting until you came home,” Namjoon spits gulping down his drink with a sigh. “True, but I - I dunno, he seems like a nice guy anyways.”

Nodding, Namjoon settles into his seat, completely relaxed, “he kinda gives off this weirdass vibe - you know?”

“Oh, so now you read vibes?” I jokingly press, a grin crossing my features - “no you idiot. Just something about him reeks of mystery, lies.” He retorts with a huff, “its like he’s hiding something under all his charm or whatever.”

“Boring~!” I complain, placing my cup beside me and laying on the flat of my back, “no wonder why you’re failing your exams.”

“Hey!”

Rolling my shoulders back with sigh, I wave Namjoon off as his car pulls out into the road - leaving me alone in the cold night air. Shivering, I rub my arms and make my toward the unit, “was that your boyfriend?”

Jumping, I glare up at my sister, her phone clutched tightly in her hand - an ugly pimple coming exposed when she turns her head slightly.

“No you dumbass, it was Joon; we finished my project and went shopping.”

I watch as my sister raises a brow at me, “so when are you going to kiss him?”

“Ew, what the fuck!?” I screech, making a puking motion with my hand, she merely laughs. “Whatever, dad said to get your ass inside.”

With a scoff, I walk back to the unit, slamming my door shut and locking it - pulling the curtains behind. “Jungkookie~!” I call, the small bunny I’d called for instantly running over to me, my kimono dragging behind him.

“Wahh,” I coo, sitting on my knees as Jungkook engulfs my legs with his - his ears twitching and rubbing against my bare skin. I giggle and pick him, pressing a chaste kiss atop of his head.

He flinches and lowers his ears over his face somewhat, “ah is my Kookie shy?” I sing, kissing him again. 

And again.

And again.

And again.

I kiss him to the point I end up laughing my brains out; so here I lay on the ground, cradling the male bunny in my arms as the final set of giggles pass my lips.

“I hope you’ll like your new home, Kook.”

[bisexual-ashe]

aight yall hear me out on this

stardew valley au

yeah, the farm game LSDJFDSLK

but!! it has.. potential. aaaaand i think.. it would work rather nicely for rk1k too??? uwu

so. lets say that markus is essentially the player character. the farmer. he’s come to the valley to basically honor his father carl, and aspires to be the bestest farmer of them all. he mostly grows flowers and makes various artisan goods, but he’s happy and stable in his job.

moving to a new place, however, brings a lot of new people. and markus soon learns that stardew valley has a rather.. interesting variety of residents.

theres hank. the ex police lieutenant. mostly hostile and grumpy in demeanour, suffers with depression and alcoholism due to the loss of his son cole. he lives with his adoptive son, connor. a reserved, yet polite young man, that proves surprisingly difficult to befriend, despite his warm personality. he seems to interact with noone, aside from hank and refuses to speak of his past before coming to the valley. connor volunteers at a small animal rescue center, and has his own cat called nacho.

there is also kamski, the reclusive millionaire and hermit. he’s rarely seen outside of his mansion, and only, if ever, interacts with the rest of the town on special event days. upon closer friendship, markus finds out that kamski was a friend of carl. and is the REASON that markus himself was even raised by carl.

much like hank, north was initially hostile. she wanted little to do with markus, little to do with ANYONE despite existing within her own little bubble of friends. shes often seen hanging out with simon and josh, although most of her time is spent bickering with the latter. close friendship with north involves vandalising local properties, and graffiting almost EVERYTHING. 

josh, the rather quiet and pacifistic librarian, can often be seen with north and simon. his favorite subject to talk about is history, and he wishes to open up his own museum within the valley. sometimes, he reads non-fiction books to the children of stardew valley and has somewhat of a love-hate relationship with north.

and then theres simon. good ol simon. mr “i just saw you and i want to be ur love interest”, probably the easiest guy to befriend out of everyone. he runs a flower shop, selling bouquets and various flower seeds. honestly, he just wants to get into farmer markus’s pants.

there’s also kara and luther, and their daughter alice. a rather private, but friendly family. 

but... back to connor. good old mysterious connor. why is markus so intrigued by him? is it that pretty face? those doe-like eyes? that unspoken, tragic past?

whatever it is, he has markus’s interest. and markus will do just about ANYTHING to work out just why he’s so hard to get to know. and why he keeps rejecting the friendship of everyone and anyone. coughhewasabusedasachildthatswhycough poor bb boy

but all of these fun folks? they make up the valley. and now? markus just has to get to know each and every one of them.

[zuffer-weird-girl]

Hii so I know you're not taking requests but after reading your new fics I cannot help but Chisaki more and an idea popped into my head 💖💖 What if s/o lost her memory and joined the LOV but then between Chisaki vs Shigaraki they come in and then the tears and everything before s/o regains her memory. I find it an interesting concept 🤔💕 Of course, you can decline if you don't want to do it. Just know I highly love your work UwU 💖💖

"Give me a break... this place is dirty, I think I'm going to get sick." He growled in disgust as he followed the man, Twice, in that filthy banker.

The moment the door was open he walked in nonchalantly, hands on pockets as his amber eyes escaped the are and found what was suppose to be the group that have been getting attention on the media. The league of villains.

"Well, you brought a crazy big fish, huh, Twice?" The man with blue hair and hands on molded on his body and one covering his face was what he could tell their leader.

"Big fish? That's ironic..." he mumbled as he got only a tad bit closer.

The chat was soon interrupted when the backdoor of the building suddenly opened and when he bothered to look at the person hsi eyes went wide open.

"(Y/n)!" Toga gleamed happily while shaking her legs and waving her hand for you to get closer to her and Twice "Come now! The show just started!"

"What took you so long?" Shigaraki hissed and he felt his blood boiling in anger at hearing that bastard talking with you like that.

"Me and Dabi were working on something that you requested mister mop head." You sighed with eyes closed and sitted right besides Toga, choosing to lay your head back with another sigh.

Look at him. Please you can't be serious... he spend at least one year and a half looking for you. You can't just had left like that and joined some low league that was only getting famous now.

"You seem a little caught back with (Y/n)'s presence there mister yakusa man." Magne spoked teasingly while Toga started to poke you repeatedly... while you didn't even moved.

"(Y/N)-chan was always so good with guys and boys!!!" Toga teased you while Compress seemed to roll his eyes at the girl while you only swatted her hand away with yours.

"Silent." Shigaraki hissed and the girls quickly stopped their "show" and returned to their attention.

He needed to at least speak something. But he came here for business, yet he certainly did not expected to find his missing lover there...

He choosed to bring the issue later, and started to talk with the main leader... not noticing how your eyed had widen and immediately went to look at him in awe.

That... that voice, it sounded so... familiar.

"My dear, you're alright?" Mr. Compress asked in concern while you merely nodded, not taking your eyes off from the man with the plague mask and way too familiar jacket.

"Oooh~! You got interested now (Y/n)-chan?" You scoffed and gave her an arched eyebrow as a response while she only grinned maniacally back.

You returned your gaze at the man and he coincidentally met your eyes... you didn't got much of what he was talking but at least got something about him saying to make him the next leader.

Gold eyes... dark brow hair... cold attitude... formal black clothes and white tie...

This man... was the leader of what they said? Shie Hassaikai?

Suddenly you jumped in fear at Magne using her quirk to immobilize the man and went to attack him.

You spoke and moved your body even before thinking, getting on front of Magne with a angry look.

"LOST YOUR MIND MAGNE?!" you shouted and she seemed taken back at your attitude, since you were the most quiet and mysterious of the entire league, and much like Dabi, didn't really gave a shit about anything.

"Get out of the way (Y/n)!" She shouted and pushed you hard enough to get out of her way.

You widened your eyes in horror but for some reason relaxed a bit when you saw the sneaky movement of the man, sneaking one or two finger on his glove.

"WE'RE FREE TO CHOOSE EXACTLY WHERE WE BELONG!" she shouted and you tried to shout a warning to her to get away form him... but it was too late...

Magne's upper body part exploded and her blood was spread on the floor merciless...

That quirk... was overhaul. Only one person had that quirk. Wait... you... you knew that person.

"Just remember you threw the first move..." he said in anger as he got up and started to rub his arm in disgust "Ugh, I'm filthy now. That's why I hate the aftermath..."

...kai. How? How could you forget him?

"K-Kai..." you spoke in both horror and surprise, getting those amber eyes to look at you in shock.

"Now you do remember?" He asked more in sarcasm then anything, but only to mask his relief and... joy.

You were alive... there, in front of him, breathing.

"You never change do you?" You said breathless and with a smile growing, tears threating to fall from your eyes.

He brought you close, you and him cringing a bit when the blood coaxed both of your clothes... but he could care less.

"My angel..." he sighed before you and him notice Compress jumped into your guys direction.

"COMPRESS WAIT!" You and Shigaraki shouted in union as Compress went to use his quirk... but a bullet came out of no where and hitted his arm, brushing only a bit his fingers on Chisaki's forearm, the hives starting to appear only by a brush of fingers.

Yep. It was your Kai.

He grabbed into your arm and forced you to the opposite side where it was compress as he shouted to not touch him, overhauling the arm of your ex commurate.

Your eyes widened when you saw Shigaraki jumping and aiming at your boyfriend.

"Kai!" He widened his eyes at your shout and how the shot had missed the target.

He quickly brought you close to his chest and jumped a bit backward.

"SHIELD!" a guy wearing a plague mask fell in front of you both as Shigaraki used his quirk, in seconds the body was turned into mere dusts.

It seems like you missed somethings...

You yelped a bit when a man wearing another plague mask jumped and some other appeared... one even crashing the damn wall.

"That was a close one Overhaul."

Wait...

"You're late."

"And I missed a shot." He checked on his gun as your eyes widened at finally recognizing his voice "At least we know that they work."

"Kurono?!" You almost shouted as Kai squeezed you to him.

The man itself looked at you, mask hidding his expression before he talked.

"Holy shit."

You recognized Irinaka's voice as well and you didn't even got the chance of looking back one last time at the league before Chisaki was already pushing you out of that building.

"Okay... what have I missed?" You asked breathless as Kai quickened his pace while the others followed you.

"I will tell you. Everthing. My angel, my plan that I always talked about is coming... I thought a way of finding a cure for this sick society."

For some reason... you had a very bad feeling about this, even if you were happy to be on his arms again.

[kidhawks]

Horikoshi needs to stop writing cryptic messages about Hawks in other HeroAca sources, quit leaving me here to guess and question everything about the bird! Okay fine, I like cryptic messages, they cool, but also whyyy. Lmao pls Hori, its always watching and englighment with him, ok Mr. Keigo 'foresight' Takami. But! What! Else! Does! He! Know! What does Hawks see that no one else has! What's he got planned! Spill the beansss.

(+) Hori, in the databook: uwu I wonder what Hawks is looking at over the horizon? / Me: alright, real poetic. WHAT IS IT?! And what's the story gonna do about it, mostly. Since we already know the rest, I think. What are the characters gonna do about it???

WHAT DOES HE KNOW!! not to mention that cryptic line in one’s justice 2 about his dad. goddamn mystery man.

i’ve seen him compared to itachi (if anyone here also had a naruto phase lmao) and i kind of see it. he knows more than he appears to and is much more deeply embroiled in the behind-the-scenes of society than anyone realises. there’s stuff as readers we’re still in the dark on too. give us his full backstory! aghhhhh!!!!!!

[luhlust]

Hi! I'm really happy because your writing is great! Thank you very much for headcanons about Akashi. May I ask friendship headcanons about Vorpal Swords team and reader in the training camp before match with Jabberwock? She cares about them because Riko and Momoi can't do it. Good luck!

Vorpal Swords' Friend HC

Anime: Kuroko no Basuke

Pairing: Vorpal Swords X Friend Reader

Overview: You are friends with the Vorpal Swords and are invited to their training camp before their match with Jabberwock.

Note: I am not sure if you like wanted to do it separately for each members so I just made it to be like you're friends with everyone hope that is okay. Thankyou for your feedback though, I am glad my writing appealed to you uwu. -Gin

•-–-•

Vorpal Swords Headcannons:

"You want me to come?" You asked, dumbfounded to your group of friends who just invited you to join them in their training. against the Jabberwocks. You have heard of the incident, the public humiliation they caused to your fellow seniors and Riko's dad betting his life on a line for a rematch hence the reason for this line-up. Who else is capable enough to bring them down other than The Generation of Miracles and Kagami?

You have been friends with the Generation of Miracles since middle school. You met them when you used to be the Vice President in the student council and of course, Akashi Seijuro was the President. You practically became Akashi Seijuro's Personal Assistant since the two of you were always together. You guys enjoyed each othet's company as most of your interests align with each other though you are older by 3 years since you got held back for being in an accident for 2 years.

Akashi introduced you to his friends and soon they all became friends with you. Being in the hospital for 2 years made you self-learn about First Aid so, you became the team's personal nurse. From light scratches to sprain, you treated them head on! You always read about medical books and Akashi even let you attend special training.

After middle school, you went to South Korea to pursue a more advanced education to catch up with your age range. You graduated early and got your license at the age of 19 (thanks to Akashi).

Now your back in Japan to pay a visit to your friends. Still with all that being said, you felt honored that your friends that you haven't gotten in touch with them except for a few messages and through the news. You were a little shy but they assured you. "(y/n)-cchi! We are serious! It's the first time we are all going to play again and you have to be there too!" Kise whined while eneveloping you into a tight hug.

You couldn't say no, they are your precious friends after all. You arrived at the camp late, you have gotten a little lost seeing how Japan changed in a few subtle ways. "Oh, (y/n)-chan!!" Momoi ran and jumped on you as soon as she saw you. "Satsuki! Ah, I missed you!"

"Everyone, this is (y/n). She will be aiding us medically." Akashi introduced you to the others. You then noticed Kagami, looking at you intently. "Kagami Taiga." He flinched upon hearing you call out his name. "Y-Yes!?" He answered, a tint of pink dusted on his cheeks. "Be careful on straining your legs whenever you jumped. You may not want to injure your Archilles Tendon."

You then explained what is an Archilles Tendon upon seeing how confused they were. Riko blew her whistle to continue their practice. "How did you know in one look?" Riko asked, looking through the clipboard that you brought out. "I'm a Rheumatologist, it is my specialty. Now, I have gathered these datas about their Physical condition since you guys tend to focus on their abilities. Right, Satsuki?" Satsuki nodded. "This brings back a lot of memories." She giggled, your files were always on point and thorough.

Riko and Momoi focused on training the boys, ability-wise, you on the other hand focused in maintaining a healthy condition for their body. But boi, they are such a handful.

"Shintaro, let me teach you another way to tape your fingers." Midorima dropped the ball and went towards you in an instant. "You have improved, nanodayo." He complimented and you snickered. "Oh, did Shintaro just compliment a girl~" His face blushed which made you tease him more. It ended up with him flicking your forehead, making up an excuse to distance himself from you. "I-I ne-need to practice more, nanodayo."

Kise was the biggest baby among them. He always cried to you and cling to you even to the tiniest scratch! "Ryou, you just scraped your knee. You're not handicapped." You sighed at his overly dramatic reaction whenever he hissed at the cotton you dabbed on his knee. "But (y/n)-cchi! I really missed you taking care of me! Plus these cat band-aids are so cute! Where did you get them?"

"I rather not tell.."

Aomine on the other hand is the most stubborn! Always acting like he doesn't need help when he clearly you can see his wrist is hurting him. "Sit. Stupid. When did you hurt your wrist?" You examined his wrists, checking for any injuries in the joints or stress in the muscles. "A few weeks back. It's not a big deal, it ain't hurting as muc-Fuck! That hurt!" You rolled your eyes at him. "Yes, yes, Mr. The Only One Who Can Beat Me is Me. Until the game, do not remove this wrist band. Okay?"

He sighed. "Such a pain in the ass."

"I beg your pardon but I think it's more of a pain in the wrist."

"Fuck you."

"I rather not." Aomine grinned, you were the only one who is not afraid to bicker with him like this. "Damn, where did the cute and shy (y/n) go? You were the only one who rivaled against my Horikita Mai collection you know." Aomine ended up having to put ice on his cheek the whole day.

"Atsushi, you should eat less of those. How about you try one of these?" You scolded Murasakibara from snacking on junk foods for the nth time. "But (y/n)-chin, they look disgusting." This boy has always been addictive and it is time you do something about it. So, you decided to recreate his snacks in a healthier version and you are the one who made meals for the whole team. Ensuring that they eat balanced meals. Whenever Murasakibra wanted something sweet, you'd pull out a candy made out of fruits or a iced pineapple popscicle. He still ate junk foods but you invented created snacks and meals that made him eat even the yucky vegetables.

Akashi is not that difficult to deal with, his body is always in good condition but it is very tensed. You always gave Akashi a massage with essential oils to keep his muscles relaxed after a long training. Giving him tips on what to do when cramping happens and offering new stretches. "Ah that hits the spot, you're excellent with your fingers." You also offered therapeutic excercise for his mental health.

Kuroko is able to handle things himself. You just helped him in strengthening his endurance. You spend a lot of time with Kuroko as you really want to unravel the mystery behind his low presence. "(y/n)-san, is this necessary ?" Kuroko asked everytime you experimented on him.

It was difficult to get a long with Kagami since he was super shy around you. You tried to break the ice by talking about his physical condition.

You enjoyed your time with everyone especially during those rest period where you guys somtimes play around and talk. Everyone cherish you in their own ways, you are like a big sister to them. They are glad you are with them after a long time. You can't help but tear up when you guys were playing a truth or dare game, this feels like home.

"Kick their butts! I did not prepare you guys like this to lose you got that?" You yelled once the game started. You heart remained unsettled throughout the game especially when the other opponent tend to be more physical. You observed their body's strength, noting them down for Momoi and Riko. "He has great upper body strength, Aomine can go against him."

When Kise entered the zone and collapsed due to exhaustion, you immediately raced towards him. You then recited your name, level of training, and asked for permission before proceeding to First Aid. You gave him a drink to replenish his electrolytes and he thanked you. "You did well Ryou, leave the rest to them." You cheered him up, making him grabbed your hand. "Ah, you really are my happy pill~"

The next to be injured was Murasakibara. He sprained his arm do you had to place him in a make-shift sling. "You got to get this check out in the hospital right away okay?"

"Eh, but you are a doctor."

"Still, you don't want anything complicated to happen right?"

Murasakibara slumped in his seat, he was still angry against Silver. You then grabbed his attention by giving him a pack of Maiubo.m and his eyes immediately sparkled.

The game ended with the Vorpal Swords winning! You congratulated them and invited them to eat out. You brought them into a fancy buffet, shocking everyone when you said it would be your treat. "(y/n)-san, are you able to pay for all of us?" Kuroko was concerned knowing everyone eating habits. "Don't worry, my friend owns this restaurant anyways."

Once everyone is settled, you stood up. "I have an announcement to make." All eyes were now on you as you continued on. "The truth is, the reason why I went back to Japan is to invite you guys to my engagement party!" Everyone became silent, you were engaged?!

"WHAT?!! YOU'RE ENGAGED?" They exclaimed.

"I feel betrayed, you haven't mentioned this before nanodayo." Midorima stated before drinking water. "So you managed to fool someone? I feel sorry for the guy." Aomine teased, in which Momoi immediately punished by stepping on his foot. "Now, now. We should be congratulating (y/n)!"

"Akashi-san, were you aware?"

"Of course. I was the first one she told about. Now, where is your fiancé?" All your friends are now on guard, ready to scare your significant other.

Before you could even speak, a tall black haired man wearing a suite with a white striped sleeves and holding a glass of wine wrapped his arms around your waist. "It's a pleasure to meet all of you, I hope you are enjoying the night." All their plan to torment your fiancé went down on the drain upon seeing not only your finacé but his body guards as well.

"Jumin, you're scaring my friends."