#much opportunity for growth. and also i think everything ever is poetry completely

[raedas]

5, 9, and 14 if u please :D

5. do you have a favourite film soundtrack?

not one thats coming to mind right now unfortunately </3 only one i can think of is sound of music but i think thats mostly just bc i love sound of music so !!!

9. are you an organized person, generally?

KINDDD of. kind of. im not ridiculously messy but im also not super organized So. shrugs.

14. what is your opinion on poetry?

literally everything ever is poetry forever and ever. to me

[parniarazi]

It’s been about 2 weeks since I got back from visiting Iran, and I am still processing so much from my experiences there. It was a beautiful trip and I am so grateful to be able to travel, see new places, reconnect with my roots, and learn. I am grateful that everything went smoothly and we went/returned safely. It’s hard to put into words what this experience meant to me, it was in many ways something I really needed at this point in my life. I’m almost 21 years old, and had not been back to the country I was born in since I was 8. As an American-Iranian, many of us share similar stories. Living in our priviledged, bubble-lives in America, it’s easy to forget the stories, the struggles, and the beauty of our country. It’s easy to take for granted the freedom, privileges, and access to resources we have here. Most of all, this trip gave me a deeper sense of gratitude for my life. Not because I look down on people in Iran, or think my life is better than theirs. In fact, I look up to them for living the beautiful, vibrant lives that they do. Traveling gives you a sense of oneness with world, with realizing nothing is good or bad, that there is so much nuance and grey area that we need to dive into. Without assumptions or judgement, but with a broadened sense of global perspective and understanding. 

Politics are one thing, but I want to talk about and see the human perspective. Seeing things firsthand is so different from reading about them, there is an undeniable sense of human-ness you can only feel through the firsthand. Iran is currently going through one of the hardest socio-economic times in its history. It’s a country that has been through so much, from an Empire, to monarchy, to an Islamic Republic, there is so much history there. As for today, it’s a country of perseverance. Of love. Of depth, art, and beauty. Despite problems of over-population, unemployment, pollution, and drought, there is still a vibrance, a light-heartedness, and a sense of humor that flows through the city. 

The majority of the people disagree with and are against most of the Islamic government’s actions and policies. They believe the government is a source of oppression, something they have to deal with and struggle against constantly. From women having to cover up and wear a headscarf in public, to restricted/censored internet, there are constant roadblocks placed in daily lives of Iranians, especially women. Yet, women are going to college at higher rates than ever, and there are increasingly more women going to work in Iran (a country where women traditionally stay at home). As a woman and a feminist, there is so much I learned from experiencing this culture and being around the women in my extended family. In my American ‘feminist’ and women’s studies learning, I’ve always noticed a constant lack of nuance and global consideration. Of course, each region has its own struggles, but I think it’s more important than ever, in our globalized world, to have connection and global awareness in your feminism. Having a dual identity as American-Iranian makes me understand both the issues for women in Iran, as well as for women here, but most of all it makes me understand how much more similar these struggles are than we would think. It helps me cultivate a perspective and feminism that is uniting, rather than dividing. We have more in common than we would expect. I am so grateful to have been able to connect with women there, because womanhood and feminine power knows no borders. 

Being American, I was also shocked by how much American politics/policies impact countries abroad, especially ones in direct conflict/tension such as Iran. As a middle-class young American, I have not felt a significant direct impact of the Trump administration thus far. But as an Iranian, I most definitely have, and seeing the way it has affected some of my family was heartbreaking to say the least. I’ve been very general so far, but I’m going to share a specific story to draw on this. I have cousins in Iran, whose mom (my aunt) applied for and received her green card to America many years ago. She’s been back and forth, trying to gain citizenship and apply for her kids to come to America, too. Meanwhile in Iran, her husband got extremely ill and her kids had to take care of him as she was back and forth to America over the years. They had finally reached the final stages of their green card process to come to America last year, when the Trump policies stopping immigration from Iran passed. They had went to their interviews at the American embassy in Turkey, prepared to sell their apartment, and packed for America, when it all came to a dead stop. A few months ago, their dad passed away from illness he struggled with for years. My cousins were left with nothing, and my aunt had been away from her kids and sick husband for years, staying in America to make try to complete her kids immigration process, for nothing. My cousins that this happened to are some of the most kind, genuine, and creative souls I have met. There, they are stuck in many ways, whereas if they had been able to move here, they would have had many opportunities and been able to contribute to the world in so many more ways. It breaks my heart, and it also makes me feel a sense of guilt, although it’s not directly my fault. How was I any different, or more deserving of coming to America than them? Why do I get to live this privileged life, go to college, and work, when they don’t? The universe works in strange ways. Life is unfair and things don’t make any sense sometimes. America is an entire oxymoron to everything it stands for, and it’s insane to think about how its policies can hurt people on the other side of the world. Politics is a game, and pieces of paper can be signed that mean nothing to most Americans, but that can turn someone else’s world upside down. The political is personal. 

Seeing family that I had not seen since I was a kid also meant a lot to me, experiencing the generosity, warmth, and kindness Iranians have to offer even their most estranged friends and family members. Connecting with my roots, I learned that I have Iranian, Pakistani, Azerbaijani, and Turkish in my blood. I also learned that I have creativity, passion, bravery, and resistance in my DNA. All Iranians do, as those traits are an essential part of life and existence in Iran, and is something we carry with us even when we go abroad. One of my favorite things about Iran was the art that flooded its streets and the souls of people. I believe everyone is an artist, but that is even more true for the people of Iran. From tiny, detailed paintings, silver and bronze work, street art, and mosques, the physical art in Iran is unbelievably beautiful. But even in the words, sayings, and poetry Iranians know and share each day, art and creativity are so deeply etched into the culture. I have been reading Hafiz poems for the last few weeks, and I’ve been incredibly moved and connected with the beautiful verses and words of my mother tongue. 

I had my first experience traveling internationally as an adult, experienced death/mourning firsthand, and saw my family and home country for the first time in my adult life. From light to darkness, I am grateful for the experiences, lessons, and growth I gained from this trip. I always knew my parents made significant sacrifices to move to America so I could have a better life/future, but this trip expanded that even more. They left their family, friends, and home to go somewhere entirely foreign to them because they knew it would make for a better future for our family. I am forever thankful for their bravery and sacrifices, and it’s something that will always motivate me to live my best life and make the most of myself here. I am also grateful for the difficulties I faced on this trip, as they helped me expand and tune into my dual-identity, and become a better, more aware global citizen and human. 

[lettersofsky]

Reincarnation AU for LtB!

Happy birthday @lovelesstobeloved! Hope you enjoy this thing! I’m gonna admit to having next to no knowledge about the mythos of Merlin and King Arthur (aside from watching maybe four episodes from the Merlin TV show when it was orginally being aired but even I know that’s not very close at all) so I went with... this.

Hope you’re having/had a great day!

Genesis’ parents had always called him a dreamer and he supposed that they had been right to say that as he preferred to be by himself amongst their vast orchards, pretending that he was any number of things all at once. They hadn’t deterred him his games, after all it made him a much easier child to deal with, and they had given him many opportunities to learn whatever skill pleased him.

He ended up leaving home not only with an extensive knowledge of the cultivation and growth of plants, but with an expert knowledge on poetry and an above average lute player if he said so himself. He was also very good at playing the roles expected of him, but the less said about that the better.

He expected to be kicked out of Shinra when he and Angeal reached Midgar, for the trainers and examiners to tell him that there was no place for someone like him amongst their ranks, but then they’d discovered his peculiar aptitude with Materia and any hopes he had of joining the theatre group he’d been dreaming of were dashed. Apparently, it was lucky that any one SOLDIER on a mission knew how to use Materia and no one in their ranks, besides Sephiroth of course, because Sephiroth was perfect, could use it with any kind of finesse.

So, he became a SOLDIER but he didn’t allow them to keep him as a lowly third, oh no. If he was going to be one of them then he was going to be the best, no matter who he had to tear down to get the results he desired. This was a bit familiar to him, being put into a position he hadn’t wanted but choosing to excel in it anyway, he didn’t focus on the feeling too often though.

At least, not until after his first Second-Class injections when he started to have odd dreams about people and places he didn’t recognize. He should have told someone about the terrifyingly realistic dreams, but enough people had already disappeared within Shinra’s ranks for him to know that that was a bad idea. He really wasn’t interested in being ‘transferred’.

He could deal with the dreams and the ever-increasing feeling that they weren’t actually products of his imagination, he just had to figure out who the young man that frequented them was and why he was important.

Cloud had been dreaming of another life for as long as he could remember, though he would have preferred not to; Nibelheim had no place for dreamers and he stood out enough with the added label. His Ma didn’t like hearing about them either, so he knew not to bring the dreams up around her, keeping quiet even when they scared him.

And some did scare him, especially the ones where people who used to be friends turned against him and the ones where he and someone who looked like him killed each other. The battles also left him panting in his bed, jerked from his sleep and unable to return to slumber.

There were some nice ones though, they all centred around a man that was always trying to help him to better himself and learn what he needed to. He liked the man, he didn’t seem to change at all and was really good at magic. The wizard was really nice to Cloud, even though he didn’t have a reason to be.

As he continued to grow, the dreams shifted to battles with strangers and battles with friends and one in particular featured the wizard guiding him towards a sword buried in a stone, telling him that it was his destiny and that things would be fine. Things had taken a turn for the worst afterwards when people got angry at what him pulling the sword from the rock meant.

He’d taken to ignoring them for the most part, barely giving the dreams a moment’s thought before going on with his days. But they lingered at the back of his mind, forcing themselves to the forefront of his thoughts as grey days passed in an endless cycle.

He had thought, more like hoped, that leaving Nibelheim would put a stop to the dreams, that breaking the monotonous cycle of his day-to-day life would put a stop to him dreaming about a life where he’s important and does all these fantastical, important things. He knows that he’s not an important person, he’s just another bastard from the Nibel mountains, there’s a million-other people more important than himself; like Sephiroth and the rest of the SOLDIER program.

Maybe that’s why he was so focused on trying to join SOLDIER, wanting to prove to himself that he could be an important person if he worked hard enough, that he could achieve something close to what he’d been dreaming about for as long as he could remember.

It was a heart-crushing day when he received the news that he would never qualify for SOLDIER, that his own body was stopping him from achieving what he wanted.

He joined Shinra’s infantry because he had no other plans; there weren’t many skills that were equally as necessary here in Midgar as they had been home in Nibelheim, so his options were more than limited if he wanted to stay in Midgar.

Genesis eyes focused on the cadet the moment he appeared in his line of sight, zeroing in and remaining fixed on him as they observed the hopefuls from the observation deck above them. He was small, blond and achingly familiar to him, though he couldn’t figure out how he was.

“There’s easier ways to murder someone than with your eyes,” Angeal said next to him, sounding concerned despite the light nature of his words.

“Hmm?” He hummed softly, dragging his attention away from the cadet to his friend. Angeal was watching him closely, probably thinking that he was going to throw a fireball down at the cadets without reason; not that he would, that was simply a reputation that he’d earned. “He looks familiar.”

“I think he’s one of Shinra’s,” Angeal suggested, shifting to consider the cadet himself. “He looks a bit like Rufus and Lazard.”

“You’re probably right,” he said, though he knew that that wasn’t why the cadet was familiar to him, nor did it explain the odd emotions that attempted to rise within him at the sight of the boy struggling as he was, or the knowledge that he wasn’t using the right weapon. “He doesn’t appear to be doing very well.”

“No,” Angeal agreed, turning his attention back to the rest of the class, to those more likely to be joining them at the end of the Program. “He’s not.”

Genesis should have followed Angeal’s lead and dismissed the small cadet, but he couldn’t bring himself to, eyes remaining focused on the boy’s form as the lesson progressed without any kind of assistance being offered to him. Genesis was glad, for some reason, to note that the cadet managed to lift the sword and hold it in a proper stance by the end though.

He was doomed to fail, but the cadet seemed determined not to waste his time while he was there. Something in Genesis was very happy to see that.

Cloud’s dreams lessened after he joined Shinra, probably due to the fact that he was exhausted at the end of each day and slept like the dead for hours straight. But he couldn’t deny that he wasn’t still getting the odd feeling that something was off or that he’d done something similar before, though he knew that he hadn’t.

Most days he could ignore the odd feelings that plagued him, but the day he saw Commander Rhapsodos for the first time they completely overwhelmed him.

The man was so familiar; despite knowing that he’d never even seen the outside of promotional photos for SOLDIER, Cloud felt like he was seeing a very dear, old friend for the first time in years, this was weirder for him due to the fact that he’d never really had a friend before.

The Commander was talking to another SOLDIER, a Second-Class, Cloud thought, and it was obvious from the expression on his face that the other was irritating him. The furrow of his brow told Cloud that he was reaching the end of his patience and it would be a good idea to avoid the other for a while.

But how did he know that? How did he know that the Commander couldn’t stand idiots or people who didn’t listen to the advice they asked him for? He shouldn’t, it didn’t make sense that he did.

He forced himself back to reality, pushing the thoughts away from his mind. The Commander had long disappeared from the corridor Cloud was supposed to be guarding.

He probably hadn’t even noticed, or cared, about Cloud’s reaction. Not that he blamed the man, Cloud wasn’t anything special after all.

Learning that the dreams and feelings he’d had all his life actually meant something, was a relief to Genesis. If only it had occurred when he wasn’t dying deep in the mines under the burned ruins of his once home, then he might have been able to do something with it.

But, oh, She was indeed a cruel mistress. Finally answering the questions he’d asked for years, but only after he’d destroyed everything he’d ever cared about or earned through the course of his life. Why would it be anything different?

Not to mention that his King, his dear, precious chosen child, was seated next to him, dying himself. Oh, how cruel of Her to reveal everything to him with his King so close to him.

But, he supposed, that if he had to go once again then this was as good as a way than any. And at the very least he wasn’t dying alone in a dark cell, no, this time he had the honour of dying somewhere peaceful, with his King close to his side.

While he might have wished for more time to learn the man his King was now, he supposed that taking the kindness offered to him wasn’t the worst thing that could have happened to him.

And, since they’d gotten this second chance at life, then who was to say that they wouldn’t get a third?

When Cloud woke up in Aerith’s Church, after the final two of Sephiroth’s remnants had tried to take him with them as they died, it was with a whole other life-time’s worth of memories just there, in his head. The sensation was similar to the one he had experienced when he had fallen into the Lifestream and had to build himself back up to something resembling a person, but a thousand times worse.

It was not an experience he ever wanted to have again, ever. It was terrible and more than a little disconcerting, especially the part where he remembered how he had died in his previous life. Needless to say, he was completely ruined on the concept of children after that.

He was also more than a little pissed at the fact that First Tsurugi was apparently his Excalibur now Apparently, a number of swords forged from the corpses of the WEAPONS counted as an ancient magical weapon of unseen power and potential, but really what kind of test was killing the Planet’s defence mechanisms as they tried to destroy civilisation as they knew it? A stupid one if you asked Cloud, not that anyone would know to.

But the worst part, the absolute worst part, were all new emotions that came with the new set of memories; all of them centralizing around the man that Cloud recognized as being extremely similar to Commander Rhapsodos. The man who was apparently something along the lines of an advisor and confidant, as well as someone he’d held more than platonic feelings towards before he gave up his own happiness for the benefit of his people.

They’d both been pretty pissed by that decision, but the other had forced him to go through with it despite how much he wanted to do otherwise; stupid idiot wizard, only wanting what was best for Cloud and the kingdom.

If he ever saw the other again then he was going to punch him.

When he awoke after his long sleep in Deepground, the world was very different from what it was when he had gone to sleep. For one, Midgar was completely destroyed and left as little more than ruins and broken buildings.

He didn’t actually have a plan of what he wanted to do now that he was out, everyone he cared about was dead and he didn’t have anything to focus his attention on. He could seek out his King if he wanted though he was probably dead, then again, he was supposed to be dead and he wasn’t so there was an equal chance that his King wasn’t either.

Eventually he decided to go to ground in the old theatre, wanting to have a definitive base of operations while he was figuring out what to do with himself.

He wasn’t expecting anyone to barge in on him in the theatre, so seeing his King alive and well in the doorway was a bit of a shock. Being punched by the young man was even more surprising and hurt quite the bit.

“I suppose I deserved that, Majesty,” Genesis breathed, hand resting against his jaw. The other certainly hadn’t bothered to pull his punch, something he was proud of.

“Don’t call me that,” the other shot at him, fist still clenched by his side. “My name’s Cloud. That’s it.”

“Don’t want anything to do with who you used to be?” Genesis asked, watching Cloud relax his fist. “All those accomplishments we worked towards?”

“I can’t look at my friend’s kids without almost freaking out,” Cloud stated blandly, glaring at him with glowing blue eyes. “I need to focus on this life, it’s what I have.”

“I suppose that means you don’t want anything to do with me, then?”

“No, you’re coming with me.” Cloud said, surprising him. “You might try to destroy the world if your left alone.”

“Such high praise,” Genesis breathed, deciding it in his best interest to go with the other. It would at least provide him with the chance to sleep in an actual house for a while. “It would be rude to turn down such a generous offer.”

Cloud nodded at his words before striding forward towards him, causing Genesis to flinch, expecting another blow from the other man. Instead the young man took a tight hold of his tattered jacket and pulled him down towards him, capturing his lips roughly in his own.

To say that Genesis was shocked was an understatement.

Cloud released him soon after, before he could do anything to reciprocate the kiss, leaving him standing stunned, mind struggling to comprehend what had just occurred.

“Come on, Rhapsodos.” Cloud called over his shoulder, already walking away from him towards the exit. “It’s a long way to edge.”

Perhaps, he could have his happy ending with his King afterall.

[tiastravels]

New Zealand bound.

I haven’t had much wifi or signal being in New Zealand and so haven’t had the chance to post anything for a while or to even write notes on what I want to write about. My poetry has also taken a back seat for a while as I wanted to live in the moment and be there 100%, and I’m glad I did.

New Zealand has been one of the most amazing and beautiful places I have ever visited. I have been all around the North and South islands and seen such incredible views and done some breathtaking activities. I was kind of worried that coming here wouldn’t deliver what I hoped it would but it exceeded all expectations. I have been making decisions recently that have pushed me out of my comfort zone and forced me to be in situations and behave in ways that I usually wouldn’t back home and my gosh, has it been a journey. Ever since travelling, the decisions I have made have been perfect for me and so helpful in continuing my personal growth and learning. Every decision, both big and small, has been the best thing for me. I am incredibly grateful for the opportunity to travel and also grateful for the strength to put myself first, only achievable with the close support I have had along the way.

So, what has been the best thing about New Zealand? Everything.

I have met the most amazing people who have been great travel companions and who have also become lifelong friends. I have known some for longer and some for less time but all have given me insight into who I want to be and who I want to surround myself with. Some have made me laugh so much my cheeks have burned and others who have been there to hold some meaningful conversations about morals and values over a nice drink or whilst watching the sun set over the beach.

I jumped out of a plane flying at 15,000 feet even though I have a serious fear of heights and it was the best thing I have ever done. Ever since, all I have been thinking about is jumping out of another plane and doing it over and over again.

I went black water rafting in underground caves with glow worms, this I haven’t been thinking so much about doing again because the water was so cold I was afraid I was going to lose a few fingers at some point.

I visited Hobbiton and hiked some beautiful trails both in the mountains and along the coast. I have been absolutely drenched with heavy rainfall and spent all day curled up on the sofa with a cup of tea watching four weddings Australia with my friends.

I learnt how to surf and watched dolphins and went swimming in hot springs at 10pm. I learnt how to speak a little Mauri (Kia-ora!), and I was even lucky enough to visit a Mauri home and learn more of their culture. I ate their food cooked under the ground and watch some perfect people perform the Hakka.

I ate New Zealand ice cream and stuffed my face with good food and tasted fine wines. I danced the night away with people who I swear were my dancing soul mates, and before you even ask, yes, they do exist. And I learned that these have been the best two weeks of my entire life.

I have had the opportunity of a lifetime and I have fallen completely in love with the experiences I have had and the people I have shared them with. I am so full, I feel as though my heart could burst at any moment and still, it would keep beating and keep loving.

[faiteach]

The worst part of BPD, I think for me, is the fear. I often say that I’m socially anxious, and I think that’s true for the most part. But I do think it’s effect is compounded by my abhorrent fear of Rejection & Failure which is part of my BPD. 

My fear is so intense that it’s blinding. I have the unfortunate but compelling ability to thoroughly delete things I don’t want to think about or deal with from my mind. Just *poof*. I have to focus twice as hard to complete tasks that intimidate me, like taxes or calling a repairman, or I will put it off until it’s way too late. The traumatizing memories I zap away with vigor, but they’re never really gone, of course, and so they resurface, now and then, as intrusive thoughts and memories. Like hot knives in my stomach and chest. There are things I want to do and people I want to reach out to, but the fear of Failing or being Rejected leaves me completely paralyzed. I could fill books with the number of comments and letters and messages I’ve typed and deleted. I come up with ideas I want to draw, but the fear of that blank canvas, and the many years between me and the girl who used to draw for hours every day, leaves my hands feeling leaden. I live my life as a hermit, making careful ties where ever it feels Safe, always keeping everyone at a Comfortable Distance, until eventually the part of me that longs for change, for feeling, for expression, bursts out as some ill-conceived impulse to pursue an idea or an opportunity. Or someone in my life gets Too Close, and my defense mechanisms slam into place, ruthlessly cutting ties and burning the bridge to the other side. 

But the fear of what others might do to me is not half so bad as my fear of myself. The truth is, I wouldn’t fear the Rejection or the Failure as much if it weren’t for the real beast behind the BPD. It’s the monster that creeps up behind every thought and reminds me that The Worst Could Always Happen. It’s the Suspicious Mind behind my smile, when my friends are generous and all I hear is its whispering, “What do they wants from us? Tricksy glass eyes want only favors, no love here, no love here. Not a gift---a check. now you must return in kind. too much work, too much work. cut them out, cut them oooout.” 

The monster is jealous. 

Its also cruel. It hates and loves in equal measure, but always selfishly, always all or nothing, pass or fail, life and death----Fail, and die. When I am Rejected and when I Fail, I am worthless. It smothers me with hopelessness and recites poetry from my childhood, the gentle words of my mother and father, and family and friends: 

you worthless little bitch, you’re so selfish, no one will ever love you, you’re a cold unfeeling bitch and no one likes you, why do you always have to be this way, your hair is so pretty i fucking hate you, stop taking everything so personally, wow so you can sing too thats great i hate you so much, don’t ever tell us about your feelings or we’ll kick you out, this is why no one stays with you, your so fucking weird, you only do this shit for attention, i just cant do this anymore---

With nothing else to go on, that narrative defined my entire being for a very, very long time. All, or nothing. Pass, or fail. Life, and death. Fail, and die. 

All those hot, bladed memories and intrusive thoughts I hide from myself, the monster hoards. And when I am weak, smothered by its bleak weight, the monster drags them across my consciousness, one by bloody one. Every mistake, every cruel word, every terrible outcome, every break up---every Rejection, every Failure. 

The invisibleness of it drives you crazy. No one can see it. No one can understand. No one can even explain it. 

You’re a teenager, you’ll grow out of it. 

Maybe you should try medication.

You’re just a kid, you don’t even know how you feel.

Have you tried talking to a therapist?

It could be biPolar disorder.

Its just mood swings. 

What about general anxiety?

Major depressive disorder is definitely a factor.

Medication for both should help.

Eventually, I needed a way to turn what I felt inside into a physical thing that could be Dealt With. I heard about cutting and one night I tried it and I felt better. That was 15 years ago. The last time I self-injured was within the last 6 months. My frequency has decreased, and I’ve never made a suicide attempt, but for a very long time, the thought of killing myself was a hound at my heels every waking moment of my life. 

I live in fear of going back there. Rejection and Failure for me, now, are Opportunities for Growth. My perspective has expanded (with effort) and my moods have relatively stabilized. For the first time in many years, I really don’t feel like dying. The monster still exists, and it still whispers, and it still attacks, but I’ve learned how to fight back. I’ve even taught it to compromise. Things are better now. 

But the worst part is the fear. 

[thefemalecampaign-blog]

Meet a Sweet Savage

Meet A Sweet Savage

We were able to interview a new entrepreneur in the clothing industry by the name of Ashley Tioni. She is currently the Owner of Rose and Raja, which is a brand targeted primarily to women. We wanted to get to know her a bit more and wanted you guys to as well.

 “I am 19 years old born and raised in Metro Detroit. I have always had a creative mindset, expressing myself through songwriting, poetry, digital content creation and drawing. I grew up an introvert and stayed to myself most of the time either reading or writing. It wasn't until I observed that the extroverts at my school and church were the ones making a name for themselves, getting the biggest roles in plays or simply getting the most attention. So at around 13, I made up in my mind to push myself outside of my comfort zone and start sharing my work, sharing my talents so I can have the recognition that I felt I deserved. Though I have failed during some of my efforts to gain attention and build a reputation for myself, I definitely learned a lot which has shaped me into the young woman that I am today.”

 Everyone has some type of story of when they started their business venture and why. Some stories may be similar, but for Ashley it started based off of a strong passion for owning something of her own:

 “My business is Rose and Raja; a clothing brand that currently features tees and crop tops for the summer. Our aim for anyone who follows us or reps our clothes is to Live Young, Wild & Free. Meaning that we want our customers to aspire to live in a way where they have the confidence to be daring and bold enough to follow their dreams, work hard towards their goals and have financial freedom to do what they want whenever they want. 

 I started Rose and Raja May 2017 after coming home from college for the summer. Rose and Raja was a passion project initiated out of boredom. All my friends were working their summer jobs, doing research programs, internships and studying abroad and I was at home doing NOTHING. I've always been interested in fashion and I always had a passion to own my own business. With so much free time on my hands I figured this would be a great time to start.”

 A lot of businesswoman we’ve interviewed told us that their family and friends were the ones who influenced them to own their own business. Now for Ashley, her influence remains the same as everyone else, but instead she wants to prove her influence completely wrong:

 “My influence to start this company was my mother. Before moving in with my dad at 15 I left my mothers abusive household. I had extreme punishments from running up and down stairs 100s of times, standing in the garage for hours at a time in the dark, getting hit with a whip, wooden club and belt buckles, getting my hair cut and many other punishments that I took in for years. Also dealing with the threats to put me in a girls home or telling me how ditsy or stupid I was. 

 All moments in my mom’s house weren't negative, but it sure did entice me to prove her wrong. We rarely spoke about dreams, and I knew I wanted to do something, anything that would make her proud. We don't talk much now, but one day I plan for her to see me running my company, doing great things that she never thought I could do. She won't have to say it, but I know she'll be proud of her "ditsy" daughter.”

 Passions are one of many ­pieces that drives a business to continue to grow and be successful. Like any visionary, Ashley wants to create content that she hopes inspires others to do the same.

 “My passion is to create and inspire others to do the same. I have always found pleasure in making something and sharing it with others. In high school I would make a poem everyday and share it with all my friends on Kik. It meant the world to me when I had people tell me "I needed this" or "This really made my day". Knowing that the things I create can cause positive feelings towards someone else is a beautiful feeling and only makes me want to make more and more.”

 Behind every name is an even broader message. This also translates into the type of clothing you sell, etc.

“Roses symbolize love and respect. Raja means radiance. I like to think of them together as a healthy balance of sweet and strong. I love using the term Sweet Savage because I feel that it fits with what Rose and Raja stands for. You can be kind and considerate while also being driven and ambitious. I feel that this is something I have been trying to maintain and I feel that there are others who want to do the same.”

 ­­­­With any brand that is targeted primarily for women, the men want to rep the brand a little bit too. So when we asked Ashley about making the brand unisex, this is what she told us:

“Rose and Raja is targeted mainly for women, but we have a lil’ something for the men who want to rep the Rose and Raja brand.”

 As a part of being an entrepreneur, one should strive to leave a mark on the work or make some type of change. That should always be the main goal, so we asked Ashley what she hopes to do to impact the world:

 “I plan to leave my mark by simply being myself and being as genuine as I can. I feel like there are a lot of people pleasers in the world who are trying to cater to trends, their friends and families or what society says is "cool". I love me and to leave any mark you must be original and unique. I know I was created for a purpose, but that purpose cannot be fulfilled if I am trying to be like someone else. I am working hard to do what I believe God has sent me here to do, and if I accomplish what I can, I am positive that my mark will be left and remembered.”

 We females do run this world, no matter what anybody says. As time goes on, so many females are rising up and becoming entrepreneurs just like Ashley has. We are dominating in everything that we do.

“Being a female entrepreneur is fun! People are impressed because so many men are dominating the workplace and to see women step up, makes other women feel empowered. I love meeting other girl bosses because we come up with great ideas and we have style that men cannot compete with! It just makes me feel good to simply talk with other young women about their brands, helping each other out and just growing bigger and better. To be apart of that is amazing and I am so glad that I have decided to become a female entrepreneur.”

 Rose and Raja is a brand that sells graphic tees and crops, many of their products have sayings on them. We wanted to figure out the inspiration and story behind why she chose a lot of what she’s selling:

 “I used to get in trouble for being terribly honest. One time at church this older guy complimented my hair and said he wished he had long hair like mine. I told him he could get long hair...if he used Bosley. My mom snatched me so quick and told me I hurt his feelings, but I thought I was offering a solution to his problem. He looked so sad once I told him that, so I decided from that point on to sugarcoat the truth so I wouldn't hurt people's feelings. 

 I say all that because I noticed that as I got older I wouldn't be direct or honest with people, and that bothered me. I got so used to holding in what I really felt that I felt uncomfortable being bold and direct. So when I made the Issa Animal Introductory Collection for Rose and Raja I took that as an opportunity to be bold, to say what people may be thinking but would never say out loud. My first design was "Beware of Kitty" and once I finished that one, the rest just poured out.”

 The future should be something any entrepreneur should constantly think about because growth is key. You don’t ever want to be the same person or brand you were a year ago. Grow, get out and do more research, but most importantly plan wisely. In ten years, Rose and Raja plans to:

“...travel the world, with signature pieces and an identity that is unmatched by other streetwear designers. I see storefronts, loyal customers, features in magazines, a strong team fueling the Rose and Raja image. I see real tigers wearing real roses, working with influencers I've idolized for years, having memorable events and so much more. Overall I see major growth, and we grow more and more each day, so in 10 years I can only imagine where we'll be.

 As of now I'm planning to get as many eyeballs as I can on the Rose and Raja brand. This time next year I plan to have a few fashion shows under my belt as well as introduce our newest collection. There is so much work that needs to be done, but we can take the heat. I am so excited for what the future has to offer and to continue growing Rose and Raja.”

 From one brand to another, we wish you nothing but the best. You are new and fresh in the clothing industry and we hope that you are/continue to soak up as much knowledge as you can. Timing is EVERYTHING. Never rush greatness. There will be doubters, but don’t let that detour you from what you want and dream to do. Again good luck and have fun.

 Follow her and RAR on social media:

 www.roseandraja.com

IG and FB:

@roseandraja

 Her personal social media:

IG- @ashleytioni

[soulcrowvi]

40 questions because why not.

1.do you prefer to shower when you wake up or before you go to sleep?. Can I have both? I like to shower in the morning because I can clean off any  sweat I may have produced when I slept and it also helps me start my day. Before bed helps me unwind and clean off the germs of the day… but I may sweat in the middle of the night… hmmmmm I guess morning showers LOL 

2. does it bother you to sleep with the lights on. Yes, I really cant sleep with any type of light in the room. I always find myself waking up if I see light.

3. cigarettes, marijuana, or neither? Neither fam.  

4. beer, liquor, or neither? Liquor, I hate the taste of beer 5. what is the biggest impact you hope to make throughout your lifetime?  Probably being able to help someone with their journey get through the darkness of mental diseases. This is a part of the reason why i want to go into the field of psychiatry.  

6. what’s your favourite movie genres.  Uhhh, romantic comedies, animation, horror, fantasy, and anime (if that’s a thing) 7. puns or dirty jokes? Dirty jokes boiiiii. My pun game needs work 8. bubble bath, bath bomb, or bath salts. Probably bubble bath. I haven’t tried the other two. 9. you wake up to find you’ve traded places with a celebrity – who is it? Hmmm I don’t pay too much attention to many celebrities lives so I cant really answer 10. you wake up to find you’ve traded places with a fictional character – who is it? Probably Monkey D. Luffy from one piece. Hes always carefree, does what he wants, eats all day, goes on these dope adventures with his crew and will beat someone’s ass if they step to him wrong. I wouldn’t mind living a life like that for a day or two. Although Zoro is my favorite character I prefer luffys lifestyle a little more.

11. what are you wearing? A grey shirt and blue joggers? WHY YOU NEED TO KNOW HUH? 12. what is your earliest memory?. Crawling on my mom’s bed and she picking me up with a big smile while making  some kind of going up sound. I know I was a baby because even to this day she does that when she plays with other small children.   13. moon or stars? Stars because I like to lay down and count them. Also having sex under the stars is on my bucket list LOLOL 14. sunrise or sunset?. Sunrise.  I love the crisp air and quiet atmosphere of everything being asleep.  During times like that it feels the world is at a stand-still and I can take a second and breathe maybe even go for a jog. Oh and you cant forget the colors of the sky: they so purrrrdy . 15. what’s the best present you’ve ever received? The gift of life boiiiiii. Nah but for a material gift, I hate to say this but, probably a hand written piece of poetry my ex gave me. It a cheesy love poem that made my heart flutter at time. no one has ever done something that for me before so it was something special.  I haven’t looked at it in years and don’t plan on doing it any time soon. That bridge was burned  many years ago cuz fuck my ex lmaooo 

16. what’s your favourite scent? Vanilla or lavender. I use to use candles with those scents as a way to calm myself during a time of depression. In a sense, I associate them both with calmness 17. what do you think about when you need to be in a calm state of mind?  Thinking of myself as a flowing river. This concept came to me after witnessing a small stream on street carry away a twig during the rain. The way I saw it was that twig representing a problem of any sort and the water being my conscious. Basically my conscious developed the habit of analyzing the given problem and determines if it needs to be addressed now, later, or not even be addressed at all. It’s a way I practice mindfulness lol 18. what do you think about when you need motivation? “I know I can fucking do this, so let me stop being a bum and do it” sounds a little harsh but that’s how I get myself moving lmaoo

19. list 5 things you like most about yourself.

My personality

The melanin in ma skin

Dance abilities

Being able to push through most of my anxiety and depression

Kinky af 20. do you have many friends or do you prefer to keep a close circle? I have a small circle of true friends mostly because I dread small talk with new people because ive never been too interested in it with strangers and you know small talk is the best way to start friendships soooooo. I can say this though I have a large number of acquaintances and I probably wouldn’t mind building deeper friendships with them. 21. if you had the chance to be immortal exactly as you are now, would you take that opportunity? Although it’s a tempting offer, im going to say nah to immortality.  Sure, it would be nice to witness how the rest of history will unfold and being able to live forever but it comes at a high cost. The cost being that youll out live everything and everyone you love and cherish. Plus there will come a time when everything ends and you’ll be the only one left, wandering endlessly in the hallowed shell of what you once called home…. That got dark LOL #PessimismOnFleek

22. what do you think of when you wake up? I think of three things in this order:

“….need food”

“I wonder how kn is doing”

“what the fuck do I need to do today?”

23. what’s your favourite word? Breathe. This word helps me calm and recollect myself in time of anxiety and also allows me to take a second and appreciate life.   24. if you could change your name, what would you change it to? I would keep my name the same, I love it actually lmaooo

25. what would your name be if you were the opposite/another gender?  I asked my mom about this before and apparently I would have been a Diana lmaooo 26. turn ons? I have turn ons for both physical and personality

Physical: freckles or small moles on the face. Glasses (bring yo blind ass here girlll) a nice warm smile, long hair although I don’t mind short hair. Ticklish. Has a nice style

Personality: Really kindhearted, loves animals, willing to sit down and talk about finding a solution to our problem if we fight, motivated by a dream,  passionate about her craft or hobby, doesn’t mind carrying the convo at times, is comfortable with silence at times. Knowledgeable about things she finds interesting, does little things for me like buying me my favorite snack as a surprise for when she sees me.  Is comfortable with my level of kinkiness and sexual expression through words. Keeps up with and feeds off my dark, sexual, awkward humor. Not afraid to speak her mind.

27. turn offs? A girl that tries to have “the best of both worlds” basically flirting with multiple dudes at once. Has a history of cheating.  Completely selfish(only concerned with what I can offer her and no “what can I do for them”). The “im fine” text when we both KNOW something is wrong. Goes ghost out of nowhere. Liars. thinks relationships are temporary  and not looking for something long term (I hate wasting time). Treating other people like shit, fake (talks shit about someone then next thing you know they’re the best of  friends) entertains other dudes KNOWING damn well they have a thing for her.  Says “My feelings changed” (three words I despise)

28. kinks? Bondage, neck bites, ear nibbles, lip biting while kissing, biting any part of my body really lmao.(those three areas will rev me up real quick ) letting me pull her hair, licking/ kissing random spots on her body. heaving breathing….lots of it pls. dark colored knee socks/thigh highs if she wears those.. LAWDDDDD *nose bleed*(this could be a slight fetish).  Lap dances and strip teases (both combined as well)   29. what’s your “type”? Uhhh, never really had to think about it until now but glasses, long hair, older, the “social butterfly that’s lowkey and introvert” woke, wants to help me grow, supportive, caring will call me out on my shit, intelligent, high ass gpa (why is that relevant? Idk )

30. give a piece of advice. Everything happens for a reason. Whether you believe in a higher power or not, certain things occur in your life as a way to prepare you for the future, teach you something about yourself, or aid in your growth. You just have to stop and look at the positive in the situation. 31. do you fear death? Nah, but I do want to live my live to the fullest and live to be at least 96.   32. do you believe there is anything that exists after death? Ive juggled the idea around in my head and, similar to the person I snagged this questionnaire from, I definitely  love the idea of reuniting with lost loved ones in some kind of after live. I also like to believe reincarnation is a thing only because it would be dope to die and come back as a giant octopus lmaoooo, but seriously the idea of coming back to life as a different creature is fascinating 33. what expectations do you set for yourself? do you live up to them? Honesty, trying my best at whatever I do, always stay true to myself,  not being pressured ny others. I think I live up to these pretty well but recently ive decided to stop being passive of things that bother me so I guess im still working on that 34. are you a good friend? would you want to be friends with the type of friend that you are? I think im a pretty good friend. Im always down to listen and support my friends with whatever their endeavors may be. Im very chill, understanding, and mature so you don’t have to worry about me  creating drama of any sort. Yeah I would befriend myself if possible 35. dinosaurs or space? Dinosaurs because I’ve always found archaeology to be interesting and I actually love learning about history. I loved T-rexes ever since the first Jurassic park  film I saw. 36. do you believe in aliens?  If we as a species could evolve from particles who’s to say creatures on a distant planet couldn’t do the same? So I guess you could say I don’t deny the existence of them. 37. do you believe in ghosts? Not really but you’ll never catch me messing with an oujia board or casually exploring a proclaimed haunted house. Aint nobody got time for that (similar to the previous question I don’t deny their existence) 38. describe your style? Uses a LOT of dark colors. Its very simple and classy but nothing over the top. I love to wear beaded bracelets because I like fidgeting with them when im bored or anxious. Oh I like flannels as well. Idk if that paints a decent picture lmao 39. send me your name, I’ll post what I think your aesthetic would be. Bish whet? 40. post a photo of yourself? Look at my tumblr default lmao

[parmesan-man]

✨✨✨

People often ask me how I manage to give out wisdom like I have a portable Buddha in my pocket, and as much as I’d love to fill them in on the details of my failed attempts, bad days and all of life’s tragedies which caused me to perceive life in a different light. I honestly have gone through painfully devastating events that are far from how other people describe theirs. But let me clear this out- My life isn’t perfect. Bad things happen all the time (ALL THE TIME I TELL YOU and I am not even exaggerating!!!) It’s always about character growth for me. Losing meant more opportunities to try out new things. Falling down meant seeing everything from below and finally understanding where I must stand. I recently had loads of time to think and reflect about life so I came up with a theory as to why I am gifted with this 360-degrees perspective on life. You see, beneath this seemingly mature man stature; I am really a little boy who loves to live in photographs, fiction and words. When I am not in school or out with the one i love, I usually dive into fiction and stories of all sorts- movies, books, poetry, art and quotes. I have lived so many lives through the characters I’ve watched and read that I feel like I’ve experienced everything-but not quite, not exactly. Watching a movie, reading, browsing at photos is like getting sucked into a vortex that transports you to a different world. I guess being into so many almost-impossible-worlds somehow showered me with a distinctive view on the one we are in. It’s like all my favourite lines and characters stayed inside me, guiding me through everyday conversations, life decisions and dilemmas. We just need a few words from our favourite stories and authors to twist the right buttons of our brains to help us generate a perspective that’s completely our own. Also one that understands our individuality as human beings. I’m not saying that this is all we need but it somehow compensates for all the unfelt feelings and unheard words, allowing us to sympathize with one another. So between you and me.. bro, chong, dude, I still have not experienced a lot of things. I haven’t even reached half my life’s journey but every day I remind myself that we are all different in ways we can’t ever possibly imagine and that opened me to world that knows no boundaries. So bro, chong, dude, in the near future, when you will be asked for wise words. Remember that it’s always a matter of perspective. Simply put yourself in their shoes and tell them what you think you’ll do if you were them. That’s why I do, and believe me. It feels fantastic to help people sort out their problems. We all need a lil light sometimes. Be that light for someone. I promise you, it will feel amazing.

[qyriad]

Warning: Very long, depressing, and possibly whiny post on deep feelings follow. It is also unedited. Read at your own risk. 

Can I just like talk about how I feel there’s a void where my creativity was--like I was robbed of it?

My parents were emotionally abusive, so there’s there’s a lot of stunted emotional growth already. I’m also trans so like that spilled over and killed my self expression and confidence. 

I’ve transitioned and I’m away from my parents, living on my own. And sure I have depression and it’s pretty bad but my life is so much better and I take so much better care of myself. 

But I’ve become extra aware of all the things I always wanted to do all my life and just couldn’t do either because my parents “wouldn’t approve” or I wouldn’t have been comfortable because I hadn’t transitioned (still have my parents to blame for that). It’s almost all I’ve been thinking about lately. 

I’m a generally talented person right? A-/B+ student, at least above average at most things. Above average at math, a damn natural at computers and programming, gifted with languages, I was near-top when I sparred in Taekwondo. I was a damn good archer. I just got a test back in fucking Assembly Programming. You know how hard that is if you’ve never done it (like me)? I got a 96 on that test, was the top of my class and I finished fucking first without my textbook in an open book exam. I’m not trying to brag here I’m just trying to make a point. I’ve never the best at anything, but I’m always near there at most things, so long as I can find the motivation to do them. 

But there’s a whole section of things I’ve always been closed off of, due to lack of that natural talent. 

I’ve always wanted to do theatre, to act. I’ve never been able to. My parents may of actually approved, but they would have made a huge deal out of it and that alone was enough to turn me away, let alone my dysphoria. 

Last semester was my first semester at college. I joined the theatre club. This semester I got cast in the show as a main role--my first performance. Everyone’s telling me that, while, of course, I’m not perfect and still have a lot to learn, that I’m doing extremely, that I seem to be picking it up pretty naturally. 

I’m in the general required english class, and I’ve always hated english class largely because I was never any good at writing essays, or at least finding motivation for doing so. We’ve had two major essays this semester, both of which allowed me to write about something I wanted to. The first one was a simple narrative essay, focusing on showing-not-telling basic stuff. I wrote about my first time being involved in theatre--the previous semester, doing lights. I enjoyed it, but I ended it up handing it in actually unfinished and completely unedited or revised. I was the only person in my class to get an A, thus I was also the highest grade in the class. I figured that was a fluke + my understand of language in general and what it means to show versus tell. The next essay was a critique in the form of a persuasive essay. I ended up passing that one in also completely unedited/revised, and I really should have rearranged the structure. While almost everyone else got at least a grade lower than they did previously, I was, yet again, the only person in the class to get an A. 

Both acting and those essays have really got me thinking. Maybe I actually do have some talent for creativity...for arts?

I’ve always wanted to write creatively. I’m trying some critical writing that I’m liking, but I have no where to post it. I’d do like a YouTube channel and make video essays but, while my voice has made a lot of progress throughout my transition, I’m nowhere near comfortable enough to get on a microphone. If I had been on HRT before puberty that wouldn’t be a problem. The one thing I don’t think I’ll ever have talent for is drawing, but I guess I’ll have to come to terms with that one. 

I want to play piano. So badly. Or the flute even! Anything. All my life I’ve longed for it. But not only am I a poor college student, I’m completely independent financially, and no longer have transportation. I have no way to take piano lessons. My college is a community college (with dorms luckily) and is pretty limited in classes--pretty much no music classes. 

I want to sing. I look to those around me and they all produce such beauty just with their voices. I used to try, but my parents discouraged it, and once puberty came my voice made the dysphoria of it a nightmare. 

Meanwhile all my creative friends (so all my friends) have all been singing all their life, in band since elementary school, drawing since preschool, in theatre since middle school. Not only will I never be able to catch up to them, I also can’t do anything about most of them. Acting in the only one I have the opportunity for. And I will never get the memories I could have had.  I will never have band class in middle or high school. I will never have been a chorus kid. I will never have been that stereotypical child that you couldn’t keep away from the theatre. I’ll never have shared poetry in english class. 

And it kills me. It just kills me. 

I want to create stuff. I want to make content. I spend all my time consuming the art I’m so passionate about, that I love so much in any of its various forms--anime, tv, YouTube, music, theatre, video games, anything--but I can’t produce it. Except..I could...in different circumstances. 

Do you have any idea how much I would have done if I had been born to supporting, loving, accepting parents? Parents who paid attention, who would have allowed me to realize I was trans when I four that time I crossdressed and loved it just a bit too much, who would have let me transition, who would have encouraged me to do the things I loved, that I was passionate about, who would have cared? I would have been playing piano all my life. I would have been in band or chorus. I would have been doing theatre since middle school at least. Hell, maybe in all this I would have even picked up drawing ability, though that one might be a stretch. 

I look at that life. I just want to be there. More than anything. 

I never should have been a computer science kid. That’s not me. I like tech, I’m interested in how things work, and I find my computer to be the optimal way for me to consume media. I like logic puzzles. So...programming? It’s fun. I do like it, and I’m exceptionally good at it, but it’s not who I am. At all. I’m not passionate about it. Why am I majoring in it? 

I feel obligated to. I have the talent. I have STEM talent. I can’t help but feel thousands of starving artists would be jealous of that. I’ll always have a job in that, one that pays extremely well. I feel I would be doing a disservice...to all those who can’t do I what I can do. I have the chance, how could I throw all the gifts I have away? Hell I could use the money I’ll make doing it to support artists I love so much. And with the way I am financially right now, a comp sci job is kind of my only hope. 

If I had been a theatre kid all along, who knows how good I would be now? Maybe I would have been able to go somewhere with it. Maybe not. But that possibility...

It just kills me. 

Why. Why was I robbed? I have the talent for so much...All the things I’ve wanted desperately to do, all my life, I can’t do because my life was tailor-made to block me from them. 

Even though I’ve finally transitioned, I still don’t feel like me. There’s a giant part missing. My creativity. Why don’t I have an instrument? Why don’t I sing? Where are all my playbills? Where’s my YouTube channel? 

Maybe I’ll recover from it, eventually. When I’m a proper adult with a real job, steady income. 

Is that good enough? How can I settle for that? It’s killing me more and more each day. I’m already depressed enough, can I handle the vacuum where my creativity used to be? 

I even have trouble talking to the people closest to me about this. I have trouble asking people to help me recover. I’m embarrassed by my lack of base knowledge, and it seems every opportunity is stolen away from me. I was going to take piano lessons--my car shit the bed, there goes my transportation. My friend was going to teach m--OOPS new rule we’re not allowed to use the dorm’s piano for some reason?? 

Most trans people should be able to relate to the feeling that half their life was stolen from them. I feel that on a trans level of course, but here on a whole new level I can’t even begin to describe it. 

This is honestly why I will never be able to forgive my parents. It used to be that I couldn’t forgive them for making my brother (who, by the way, is even better at everything than I am, and has dipped into the arts) so depressed. But now I think that’s the real reason. 

This is why I so badly envy those with supportive parents. I envy that life. I long for it. I crave it.

 And it kills me. 

[engl3150b]

Writing for the Screen

Alexandra Salerno | March 2017  - from AWP Career Advice

In the literary world, Hollywood is most often thought of as a place where writers have gone to wash out. William Faulkner, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Raymond Chandler, Aldous Huxley—all of these writers famously moved to Tinseltown to try a hand at screenwriting, but the narrative associated with their experiences is often negative, reinforcing an arbitrary cultural and professional line between prose writing and screenwriting. These negative stereotypes are outdated, and don’t represent the true nature of the creative landscape in Los Angeles. In particular, the explosion of scripted television and streaming platforms has driven so much growth that the entertainment industry is ripe with employment opportunities for writers looking for creative day jobs. And I’m living proof.

In July of 2014, I packed up everything I owned, loaded up my car and my cat, and headed west to Los Angeles from Ohio. Over five days, I crossed the country in my tiny car, hoping that the leap I was taking was not the biggest mistake of my life. I had decided, almost overnight, to completely discard my career and professional identity as a teacher of writing. Instead, I was now an aspiring television writer.

It may be disingenuous to say it was an overnight decision. As long as I can remember, I’ve been both a die-hard book lover and a die-hard television lover, and alongside my creative writing education, I stayed glued to all of my favorite TV shows. After graduation from my MFA program, I diligently pursued a career as a teacher while also following the careers of novelists-turned-television writers Nick Pizzolatto (True Detective), Elwood Reid (The Bridge), and Noah Hawley (Fargo, Legion). Watching the work of these writers added to a growing sense that some of the most exciting storytelling was happening on the small screen.

At the same time as I was waking up to what Alan Sepinwall calls the television revolution, I was becoming more and more disillusioned with my day job as a writing teacher. After a few years of hard work and good luck, I found myself without a job. In addition, I was swiftly realizing that teaching, which I had convinced myself was the career for me, had left me feeling unfulfilled, both creatively and professionally. Unsure what to do, I indulged in more television-watching, finding the friends who enjoyed hashing out our favorite scenes from Game of Thrones or Parks and Recreation, talking them to death until one friend, a television writer and producer living in Los Angeles, finally said to me, “You love TV, and you’re a great writer. Have you ever considered making a living in TV writing?” I was speechless, because I had, in small moments here and there, done just that. But I had hitched my yoke to teaching early on, as it was something I felt trained to do. Other than in writing and publishing short stories, I wasn’t sure how far my creative talents ranged. Was this indeed a possible career path for me?

With that question, a door cracked wide open for me. I began a television drama pilot script and read as much as I could about the subject. With no further teaching job prospects emerging, I applied for adjunct positions in LA, telling myself I had to go somewhere (my job in a small town in Ohio was ending, and I had to move regardless), and that if I could find something—anything—in LA to justify moving, I would do it. I was sick of Ohio winters anyway. Why not bet on myself, and take the chance?

Now, mid-way through my journey after breaking into the entertainment industry with a production assistant job, I’m asking myself the same questions, but on a larger scale. Why don’t more post-MFA graduates take the very leap I took? In fact, after finishing an MA and an MFA, I only knew two fellow writers who had pursued this track; why weren’t more creative types and post-MFA writers pursuing careers in Hollywood? After all, there have never been more opportunities in the entertainment industry. For any post-MFA grads interested in working in entertainment, I’m here to share with you some dispatches from the field. What follows is a primer for working in Hollywood, and, specifically, in screenwriting.

The Craft of Screenwriting

If writing is your goal but you have little experience with actual screenwriting, take heart: as a creative writer, you are a trained storyteller. This is a transferrable skill, particularly as you move from a writer with a day job to a potential professional writer. Think about it: many creative writing graduate students cross genres during their graduate career, either for fun or for professional reasons, and experimenting with screenwriting is just trying your hand at a new genre. Although this might seem most immediately applicable to the prose genres, poets need not count themselves out. Often, scripts that stand out are the ones that can do very much with very little, and I can think of no better form of training than as a poet for this purpose.

So, where to start as a screenwriter? First, consider the content and form you’re most interested in. Are you more drawn to comedy, drama, or somewhere in between? What do you watch religiously? Which films do you make a point to see in the theater, rather than waiting until they come to Netflix? This will help you determine if you’re interested in writing for the big screen or the small screen. And keep in mind, online streaming platforms have changed the marketplace quite a bit, and the small screen isn’t so small anymore when it comes to great storytelling.

Once you know the type of projects you’d like to focus on, bone up on screenwriting as a craft in the same way you might any other genre. There are hundreds of worthwhile, accessible, practical craft and introductory books available, like Blake Snyder’s Save the Cat, Pamela Douglas’s Writing the TV Drama Pilot, or Chad Gervich’s Small Screen Big Picture, to name just a few. But as many a post-MFA grad learned in craft classes, nothing beats reading the real thing. Read as many feature or TV scripts as you can, with an eye toward constructing your own. Once you’ve immersed yourself, writer Daniel Tuch (Burn Notice, Hand of God) says, “Start and finish as many scripts as you can.” Good advice for the aspiring writer of all genres.

The student of screenwriting should also remember that a script is a different animal than other genres, as it’s a blueprint for a visual medium. Mike Alber, a writer and co-executive producer (The Thundermans, Kirby Buckets), says, “Screenwriting is very fun, but it’s more formulaic than other genres. I always outline when working on a project, whereas I almost never do when writing a personal essay or short story.” Writer and executive assistant Ben Glass (Kirby Buckets) echoes this statement, adding “[Screenwriting], unlike poetry or fiction, is merely a means to an end. A TV script is a step in the process of the final artifact: the produced episode we see on TV.” This goes for feature scripts as well, and it’s imperative that any good writer remembers this as they read scripts by others and move on to writing their own.

Whether you’ve written one script or one hundred, it’s also necessary to familiarize yourself with industry standards. If writing is to be your day job, the name of the game is selling your work, or getting staffed on someone else’s project as a writer, and being familiar with the playing field is a crucial step in achieving these goals. Glass writes, “There’s an insane pressure in Hollywood to write something that isn’t just good, but also commercial, sellable, bankable, entertaining, in the zeitgeist, and not currently being done.” So how do you keep up with what’s out there so you can develop something fresh and unique? As many writing graduates already read trade material related to their own genres (Publishers Lunch, publishing blogs, and review sites) to learn the market for their work, it’s a great idea to begin reading entertainment industry publications like Deadline.com and Variety for the very same reason. This will help you to see what types of projects are selling, and give you a hint about what scripts to study next. Overall, knowing the craft, industry standards, and the market will help you have an edge when you enter the fray.

Breaking In

According to CBS Diversity Writing Program Fellow Chris Wu, “The most significant advantage to a career in screenwriting is that there is really very little barrier to entry. All you have to do is write, and aside from a computer and software, there are no real financial constraints to that.” But lest you assume breaking in is all roses and sunshine, one must still find their first entertainment industry job, and that can be tricky. Wu continues, “The disadvantage of this career is the intangible nature of your path. Every writer has a different career trajectory, and it’s impossible to predict how yours will look.” So once you have a few scripts under your belt, where do you go from there?

Aside from the truly wacky career trajectories, there are three typical entrees into screenwriting: the traditional film school path, the industry assistant path, and the writing contest path. Many aspiring writers still choose to go the film school route, but it’s by no means the only or even the best way to break in, especially when you consider costs of tuition and living expenses while in school. “In terms of education I used to think that if a person needed to learn or sharpen certain skills, like writing, [he or she] should go to film school,” says writer and producer Shernold Edwards (Haven, Sleepy Hollow, Hand of God). “Now there are so many other ways to work at the craft, that actual film school may not be necessary. People who have degrees in all sorts in fields end up writing. Law, Biology, Engineering, all of it.” This may be doubly true for a post-MFA grad, who may not want to take on another three-year graduate program. But the true benefit of film school is the connections a student makes through the process. Edwards did complete an MFA in screenwriting from Columbia University, but of her time there, she concentrated less on the academics and more on the experience of meeting like-minded individuals and networking: “Getting into the entertainment industry requires you to have relationships,” Edwards says. “Some people already have an ‘in’ and some people need to go to film school to make contacts. I was the latter.”

Aside from the traditional film school experience, many writers pursue short-term, private writing courses. This was the case for writer Alison Bennett (You’re the Worst). “I started taking classes in sketch writing and TV writing at Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre New York,” says Bennett. “From there, I got on a house sketch team, which led to me finding representation as a writer. I started out working freelance jobs and got staffed on my first series a few years later.” Bennett’s experience shows that not all classroom learning is the same, and there are a variety of ways an aspiring entertainment industry writer can approach learning the craft.

The second track is the writing contest, of which there are many, with rewards ranging from small cash prizes to full-year fellowships working in creativity labs or on existing television shows. Some of the most coveted prizes are the Austin Film Festival Prize for best screenplay and teleplay, or the network fellowship contests like NBC’s Writers on the Verge, the ABC/Disney Writing Program, and the CBS Diversity Writers Mentoring Program. But how do these fellowships lead to breaking into the business as a bona fide writer? R.B. Ripley says, “My pilot went on a real tour de force and won three contests and was a finalist in two others…. Practically speaking, it got me interviews with about a dozen managers, and from that I came away with representation who really believes in my storytelling skills and potential to have a great TV career.” As many MFA prose writers know, representation is the first step in getting your work out in the world, and the entertainment industry is no different. Much like developing relationships in film school, Ripley’s experience shows that winning contests can lead to that crucial next step toward getting staffed on a show or selling a project to buyers.

Finally, the third track to breaking in is becoming one of Hollywood’s ubiquitous assistants. Of his experience in Hollywood, Wu says, “Many writers I know started off in the mailroom or as an assistant and found their way working as an assistant on a show.” Whether for films, television shows, management agencies, or production companies, going the assistant route has landed many into a writing job, after a few years of diligent work and promotion, that is. This route can lead to invaluable practical experience. “I learned so much…working support jobs on actual TV shows,” says Tuch. “I felt like through my jobs as a [post-production] PA, set PA, Executive Assistant and Writers’ Assistant, I got the hands on education I needed to prepare me for my first staffing.” An advantage of this route is that the more people you meet at all levels of the profession, the more possibilities there are for employment when other assistants or writers you know begin to get their own shows or writing gigs; the strengths of these relationships can often get your foot in the door for those same opportunities.

Whatever track you may take, remember that having a circuitous entry into the entertainment industry is often a boon, rather than a disadvantage, especially as a post-MFA graduate. Alber, a fiction MFA graduate and former writing teacher, echoes this sentiment: “I’ve found having a little life experience isn’t bad when looking for TV work…at least it gives you something to talk about in meetings. And that life experience—especially my teaching experience—has also been helpful in making [me] more comfortable in a writers’ room and pitching in front of network execs.” Often, you will find that whether or not you get a job will depend on how well you hit it off in meetings.

Of personality in television writing specifically, Alison Bennett writes, “You want someone with a strong voice and storytelling sense…. But the most important quality is being a ‘good hang’—someone you don’t mind being stuck in a room with for twelve hours a day.” So, talent matters greatly, but so does your ability to articulate your ideas clearly and personably, as well as make a good impression as a future co-creative worker. Edwards sums up this dynamic aptly: “Each writer figures out their own path. Regardless, when that door opens, s/he better know how to write and be good at it. And/or be a joy to work with. And/or not be a freak. And/or be exactly the kind of freak the gig requires.”

One more consideration for post-MFA grads, particularly women and people of color: in an effort to increase the range and richness of stories being told, the entertainment industry is searching for minority voices in a way that’s unprecedented in an industry with a history that’s mostly white and male. And since Hollywood values relationships, the more diverse its spaces are, the higher the likelihood that a feedback loop will occur in which even more diverse voices enter these spaces. Of her experience as a woman of color, Edwards writes,

Use whatever you have to get access. Don’t be ashamed of diversity and other issues intended to expand inclusiveness. I’m a black woman from Toronto with Caribbean parents. I’m pretty good at what I do. I learned and continue to learn how to be better. I took advantage of that access when it presented itself. Did being black help get my foot in the door in Hollywood? Yes. My first gig was a television movie for Lifetime about a black family. I had a spec script about a black family…. That spec is getting me great meetings. Why? Because things have changed.

As Edwards affirms, writers’ rooms, production companies, and management agencies are all on the hunt for stories from talented women, the LGBTQ community, and people of color. So if you belong to one or more of these communities and want Hollywood to reflect more diverse stories, the timing couldn’t be better for you to break into the business.

Entertainment Industry Day Jobs

Not sold yet on the writing part of screenwriting, but interested in the general creative energy within entertainment? Writing isn’t the only creative job available in the industry. In film and television, the scripts are just the beginning of the journey a project takes as it gets made, and all along the way are varying types of positions in production. In addition, much like in the literary world, there’s an industry within the industry devoted to talent recruitment and development.

Before Wu ended up in the CBS Writing Program, he started his journey in the mailroom at William Morris/Endeavor. “From there,” he says, “I became an assistant on a TV Lit Agent’s desk. Then I worked at Fox TV Studios as an assistant, and from there, I got a job as a Writers’ PA on a television show.” Though Wu’s ultimate goal was to become a screenwriter, this path illuminates some of the other opportunities available to writers and creative types who simply want to work toward a position that embraces creativity. Agencies, production companies, and studios all employ a hierarchy of executives who spend much of their time doing things many post-MFA grads are very familiar with, especially if they’ve worked at a literary journal: performing general clerical tasks, reading slush, and interacting with writers and other creatives. That can also come along with a hefty dose of answering phones, but good assistants can rise quickly to pursue the executive track, particularly if they enjoy, as many editors do, the experience of ushering nascent talent into bloom. Ripley advises interested post-MFA graduates to get an entry-level job somewhere within the industry and “spend time building genuine relationships with the people who work for the people who work for the people you want to work for.”

Perhaps not coincidentally, this advice also applies to those who are interested in the writing part of screenwriting. But what does the actual screenwriter’s day look like? According to Alber,

My day job is something like 70% writing work (within which I include breaking stories, addressing notes, reading scripts, and actually typing words) and 30% dealing with the realities of production (being on set, going to casting, sitting in production meetings, editing, etc.). The job of a TV producer varies from day to day (and project to project). It can also depend on the level of producer. On my current job, I spend most of my time in the writers’ room or in my office, rewriting. But I also take notes from the network at table reads, participate in casting for guest roles, cover the set to make sure the tone of the show is consistent, and give notes to the editors after watching the most recent cut of an episode. At the highest levels, you become less like a writer and more like a project manager, with your hand in all facets of the writing, production, and post.

As you can see, a professional writer’s time is varied.

The LA Writing Life

F. Scott Fitzgerald famously said, “Isn’t Hollywood a dump—in the human sense of the word. A hideous town, pointed up by the insulting gardens of its rich, full of the human spirit at a new low of debasement.” Many may disagree, but with the exception of opportunities offered in places like New York City and Austin, Texas, the truth is that the entertainment industry is still primarily centered in Los Angeles. So, taking the leap into screenwriting also means making the move to LA. But is it really a debased dump as Fitzgerald would have us believe?

Like anywhere else, Los Angeles will be what you make of it. Of the working writers I spoke to, all decried the rigorous schedule of an industry professional, the burden of long hours, and lean times in between projects (many of the people you meet will be part of LA’s large freelance-based economy; in fact, LA is in the country’s top four cities with the biggest freelance workforce, as well as being one of the cities with the highest cost of living in the US). Yet as a writing community, LA was universally heralded as positive, especially due to the community feel that comes when many residents work in the same industry. According to Glass,

[LA’s] actually kind of awesome. Most writers in Hollywood understand how lucky they are and are totally willing to meet and talk. There’s also zillions of fellow upstarts to collude with, to sulk with, and to celebrate with. I found it quite easy to plug into a writers’ group and to form friendships with people trying to make it. There’s a positive energy to meeting people here.

As Glass alludes to, something about shared goals breeds this type of camaraderie, and he wasn’t the only one who thought so. Bennett affirms, “I love the community here. I’m in a writers’ group of women who all work in TV and most of my favorite friends are writers.” But LA is a large place, and making lasting connections can sometimes be difficult. According to Wu, “The tough part of LA is the sprawl and the abundance of choice. So it’s not always easy to maintain relationships and groups.” So, post-MFA grads, this is not a career and lifestyle choice to be taken lightly.

Ultimately, LA is a place that has always rewarded the persistent, and that applies to your personal life just as it does to the professional. And the true reward just may be the title of professional writer, a job many MFA students are assured does not exist in their own genres. So, are you ready to make the leap? To those who may be considering it, here is one last plug from Daniel Tuch: “If you like writing, it’s the most fun job in the world. You come up with ideas and then people spend millions of dollars and thousands of man-hours making them a reality. You spend your entire day with other creative people, who all want to help make something wonderful.” If this is your siren call, pack up the U-Haul and head west.

Alexandra Salerno’s fiction has appeared in Gettysburg Review, Narrative, and One Teen Story. She is originally from New York, and lives in Los Angeles.