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#music is from steven universe (love like you instrumental version)
booksandchainmail · 20 days
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tagged by @apollo-cackling to shuffle my general listening music and post the first 10 songs. I went with all music instead of my "music" playlist since I haven't updated that in a year or so
Saudade, Saudade by Maro. This was Portugal's entry to the 2022 Eurovision, where it came in ninth, presumably because although it sounds very nice the staging was just a bunch of women sitting in a circle and clapping
Best of Wives and Best of Women by Lin-Manuel Miranda Hamilton (Unknown Album). I ripped the entire Hamilton soundtrack from youtube back in ~2015, then kept it as a playlist since I couldn't figure out how to sort songs from an artist
Banks of Newfoundland by Ewan MacCoil & A.L. Lloyd. This is from a playlist of sea songs that @thoughtsformtheuniverse put together, and one of my favorites on it. I tend to use this playlist as background music while working/chores, and this song is excellent for washing dishes to.
Giant Woman by Steven Universe. Not one of the best songs from Steven Universe or one I listen to on it's own, but it does a good job setting things up early
Ode to High Heels by Seanan McGuire. This is off of Creature Feature, which is I think my least favorite of her albums: there are some really good songs in it, but most of the album I have no impression of. I think partly this is because it riffs a lot on horror/slasher/monster movie tropes, which are not really genres I know. This song is mostly lost on me, and I don't like the musical style either (in general I think her comedic/parody songs are weaker)
Natsume Yuujinchou Opening 3 (Boku ni Dekiru Koto by HOW MERRY MARRY). So I have the opening theme downloaded for every anime I watched between 2012 and 2019, and this sure is one of them. It's honestly not great, and suffering from the fact that the first two Natsume Yuujinchou openings were really good, so this is just bland in comparison
Ragnarok III: Strange Meetings by The Mechanism (DTTM version). This song is like 90% talking and instrumental, but it's very good at that. This is probably the emotional core of the album, the dialogue would do very well over an angsty image set. I do prefer the studio version though.
Oray Sujon Naiya by Boarding Party. Also from the sea songs playlist, though not one I listen to frequently, it's a bit too slow/acapella for doing things to at a reasonable pace. An internet search says this is a Bengali folk song for rowing downstream.
Underworld Blues by The Mechanisms (DTTM version). Ulysses Dies at Dawn is one of their more uneven albums. This is one of the good ones. I love a song where a bunch of people get their own individual verses, and Ashes kills it as Hades. I like the contrast between Ulysses and Heracles gravelling their way through their verses, and then Orpheus drifting way up high. I mostly don't listen to this specific version, I prefer studio to live.
Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood Opening 4 (Period by Chemistry). Now this one slaps. I think this is considered one of the iconic FMAB openings alongside the first one, and if it isn't it should be.
tagging (if you feel like it) @thoughtsformtheuniverse @overzealous-panda-yak @eldritchwyrm @tanoraqui @coraniaid @corvidcorgi
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lordspectrus · 1 year
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Tears for Fears - The Hurting (Steven Wilson 5.1/Atmos/Instrumental) Blu-Ray Audio
Slightly over a year after the first Blu-Ray audio disc in the "SDE Surround Series", said series circles back to the band that began it all.
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Steven Wilson (renowned musician and engineer) wasn't involved yet when Universal (helped by Paul Sinclair and Steve Hammonds) compiled the 30th anniversary box set of The Hurting in 2013. Looking back, it almost appears modest. None of the tracks were previously unreleased, although many were on CD for the first time, and the concert video In My Mind's Eye made its first official DVD appearance.
The High Fidelity Pure Audio initiative started in 2012, and in early 2014, The Hurting was released in this format, but only in stereo. This disc is one of many good examples why the BD-A format never really took off: It was seen as pointless by most music buyers.
As Songs from the Big Chair was a bigger album, Universal then brought Steven Wilson on board to create a new stereo and 5.1 mix. Both were included on a DVD-A within the box set, but also on a standalone Blu-ray Audio - a much more attractive release than the Hurting BD-A. Nevertheless, the format fell out of favor. Blu-ray Audio continued to exist (both standalone and in box sets like Steven Wilson's 5.1 of The Seeds of Love), but the series was over after 2016. Until Paul Sinclair brought it back from the dead with the exclusive The Tipping Point Blu-ray.
That release, it turned out, was just the beginning of a series. Follow-up Blu-ray discs have been made of albums by xPropaganda, Gilbert O'Sullivan, Shakespear's Sister, Brian Eno, Orbital, Ten Years After and most recently none other than Bob Dylan!
Now for the 40th anniversary of The Hurting, Steven Wilson created not just a 5.1 mix but also a Dolby Atmos one (which will also be listenable on streaming sites, but the other mixes are exclusive to this disc), as well as an instrumental mix of the whole album!
Another find is two bonus tracks - versions of "Mad World" and "Watch Me Bleed" from the aborted Mike Howlett sessions (the original b-side mixes of "Ideas as Opiates" and "We are Broken", which were erroneously missing from the 2013 box set, are absent, though).
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So we're getting four different versions of the album:
Dolby Atmos
DTS-HD 5.1
Original stereo mix (apparently/hopefully a new remaster)
Instrumental mix (hi-res stereo)
Plus two bonus tracks (stereo):
Mad World (Mike Howlett Version)
Watch Me Bleed (Mike Howlett Version)
The exclusivity and various tax/customs shenanigans haven't gotten any better since last year for me, but at least the offering appears quite a bit more generous than The Tipping Point. Still, I'm definitely glad none of the other SDE Blu-ray discs were anything I needed to have. (If I lived in the UK, I probably would've gotten more of them.)
As with the second pressing of the Tipping Point blu-ray, the number of copies of this disc is going to be pressed based on how many are preordered until March 17.
There's also a new half-speed mastered vinyl reissue of the album.
Store link:
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newmusicradionetwork · 6 months
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Michael Isaak Soothes The Past With “hey boy”
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Mirroring his intimate reflection of personal growth and self-assurance, Michael Isaak has released his new single, “hey boy.” This moving track serves as a love letter to his younger self, encapsulating the universal experience of growing up and finding one’s path. “hey boy” is the final single to be released ahead of his forthcoming debut EP, Forever is a Scary Word. Stream it now on all platforms worldwide. Inspired by a reflective moment looking back at his childhood bed, “hey boy” is a poignant composition, a song about sending good wishes to the younger versions of oneself. “I wonder if I can channel that young person in his sophomore year of Catholic school and tell him it’ll all be okay,” Isaak muses. The song embodies the message that everything, in the end, works out, and the challenges of the past pave the way for the strength of the future. With gentle acoustic melodies and earnest lyrics, “hey boy” is a tender reminder that, while we cannot speak to our past selves, we can honor them through understanding and love. “There’s so much I would say to my younger self, and I wish I could, but I’m also quite confident he’ll be able to figure it all out on his own. ‘Hey boy, I love you…'” Isaak reflects. The song is a touching ode to personal growth, resilience, and the enduring power of self-love. As listeners embark on this musical journey with Isaak, they are invited to extend compassion to their past selves and recognize the strength that comes from overcoming life’s challenges. “hey boy” was produced by Owen Korzec and Michael Isaak, and features instrumentals from guitarist Declan Fine. Having grown up in a religious Egyptian-American community, his upcoming EP, Forever Is A Scary Word, delves into the tensions between honoring tradition and seeking freedom. Isaak’s ethnic background brings a fresh twist to the Western indie genre. His early exposure to Arabic music, combined with self-taught skills in various instruments and music production, and his love of modern indie folk and pop artists like Sufjan Stevens and Phoebe Bridgers, has shaped his distinctive musical voice. Beginning his musical career with the original song “fabricated love story” in August 2021, Isaak describes the progression over several years: “Producing music throughout my adolescence evolved from a weekly stress-buster, to an intimate friend—to whom I could express my emotions in a language of my own design.” Isaak’s academic pursuits at Princeton briefly took him away from his musical passions, but the pull of creativity led him back home to LA. Since his return, he has made significant strides, releasing multiple singles, including the EP’s lead single “okay with this” earlier this year, accumulating over 80,000 streams, and performing at renowned LA venues like The Hotel Cafe, The Viper Room, and The Whisky A Go Go. “hey boy” is available now on all major streaming platforms. Join Michael Isaak in this heartfelt exploration of self-discovery and compassion, and discover the power of music to heal and uplift the soul. To keep up with his journey, follow him on Instagram @Michaelisaakk and check out his website www.Michaelisaak.us. Read the full article
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existentialmagazine · 7 months
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Review: Michael Isaak’s new single ‘hey boy’ wraps you between an indie-folk journey of youth and self-love, gliding through acoustics and old childhood recordings
Having grown up in a religious Egyptian-American community, the upcoming musician Michael Isaak has recently began to delve into the tensions between honouring tradition and seeking freedom within his music, a theme we don’t often see explored through artists work. From Michael’s ethnic background that brings a fresh twist to the Western indie genre, to his early exposure to Arabic music and self-taught skills in various instruments and music production, Michael has had a lifetime of learning - and now he’s ready to share with you everything perfected to a tee. Shaped by artists like Sufjan Stevens and Phoebe Bridgers, his newest work ‘hey boy’ is familiar and yet distinctive all the same, an important piece unafraid to be real.
From the opening notes of ‘hey boy’ it’s clear that this is more than just a song, an unravelling coming-of-age story of sorts, transporting you through an entire lifetime of lessons learned and memories buried. Drawing out a long, warm intro of instrumentals, Michael layers backing recordings of laughing young voices behind gentle acoustic guitar strums, placing you within the hazy videotapes of your own youth with a longing for the same carefree appreciation for life once so easily held. This touch is so subtle and yet so integral to the unfolding story Michael has to tell, an utterly transportive element evoking nostalgia in its purest, most cherished forms. As those voices fade out for the verses serenade, ‘hey boy’ flows just through continued acoustic guitar notes and Michael’s softly sung vocals, weaving intimately between words in a way that leaves every one hanging in the air to truly take in. Skipping over a typical chorus and shifting from this verse to the next, a soft instrumental moment in-between adds an ethereally floaty electric guitar riff with continued chattering voices, never needed to be distinguishable or understood for the distinct resonance of their impact to weigh heavy. Things push forward with a continued growth, slowly but surely leaning into more atmospheric backing whirs, more prominent guitar strums, drum beats and electric guitar ringing out through the open-air. Though padded-out with time, there’s always a sincerity and mellowness to everything that wanders through ‘hey boy’, an indie-folk dream that holds just as much life and safety as a forest and yet surrounds you with a sound at every turn. As Michael never incorporates a noticeable chorus throughout it’s incredibly refreshing to hear a song taken in a new, atypical direction, unafraid to tell a story without feeling shackled by the expectations of what a song should or shouldn’t be, instead thriving within the experience he seeks to create.
As an ode to personal growth, his childhood self and everything that comes with that, ‘hey boy’ wistfully unravels in words as much as it does sound through the universal journey of growing up and finding one’s path. Lyrically diving into what once was, lines like the opening’s reminiscence look to reassure a past version of himself that everything will turn out just right: ‘I wonder if I could see that young boy in his sophomore year of Catholic school and tell him that it’s okay, ‘cause I’m sitting in his favourite coffee shop.’ Often burdened by worries and anxieties that our future-selves wouldn’t think twice over, ‘hey boy’ takes a moment to reflect on what truly mattered, hoping to remind that through the other side it’ll all be worth waiting for. Continuing ‘tell him where he’ll be, ‘cause I’m walking down a city where he’d see himself in three years’ , it’s clear that Michael in many ways looks to take you - and himself - along for a stroll down memory lane. Caught up on decisions that impacted his entire life, appreciation for the doors he opened without even knowing, and an underlying knowledge that it works out is prominent the entire way through. As the song fades out with the repeated line ‘hey boy, I love you’ , this earnest look back on the person he once was and the growth he has made is one filled with nothing but gratitude and purity. We all often wish we could tell our younger selves a multitude of things, but ultimately ‘hey boy’ is that much needed prompt to look within for that reassurance, figuring things out at every turn and feeling blessed by the path taken.
Check out ‘hey boy’ for yourself here to truly delve deeper into Michael’s gorgeously personal storytelling and equally lingering sound.
Written by: Tatiana Whybrow
Photo Credits: Unknown
// This coverage was supported and created via Musosoup, #SustainableCurator.
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sempervivarium · 4 years
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Galax the red lace guppy, the newest addition to the aquarium!
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love-takes-work · 3 years
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Live on Instagram, Rebecca Sugar and Ben Levin (with help from Ian Jones-Quartey) have given us a two-hour fundraiser to benefit the Trevor Project, in honor of Bi+ Awareness Week.
It was a lovely evening hanging out with them. Please see below for a little breakdown of what songs they played and what was discussed during the stream in terms of bi+ youth resources, Rebecca’s experiences, and the importance of having support for bi+ people.
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Please go to The Trevor Project and learn more about what they do and how you can help. Their Resources for Bi+ Youth packet is available on the site! You can also donate through Rebecca’s specific fundraiser.
More below:
Rebecca announces this event is for Bi+ Awareness week for the Trevor Project. Ian Jones-Quartey is giving some help with the fundraiser in the background.
First Rebecca plays "Love Like You" on guitar. It's a lovely stripped down version. They're a little bashful about making a couple glitches on the guitar. It's very sweet and charming, Rebecca, no one minds. :)
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Next Ben Levin joins on bass and they play "Fries," a longer version than was in the Adventure Time show.
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Then Rebecca talks about the Trevor Project and its suicide hotline that they provide for the LGBTQIA+ youth they support. After some tech glitches, they discuss how great Trevor is and what resources and research they provide on why it's so important to support these communities. Since this is Bi+ Awareness Week, they have put together a resource guide. They encourage us to donate to this organization.
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Rebecca discusses Ben Levin's involvement on Steven Universe and Craig of the Creek. They decide to play Jeff Rosenstock's song "Illegal Fireworks and Hiding Bottles in the Sand" as a mashup with the Craig of the Creek ending song.
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Then they give an update on the donation amounts and Rebecca gets so excited about the support. They admit to being really nervous after no performances for so long.
Rebecca decides to play a solo song and doesn't announce the title at first but Steven Universe fans all know "Escapism." It's a slightly different version with some great guitar additions in an added interlude, and they even throw in some fun super-high squeaky notes at the end.
They give a shoutout to Jeff Liu for the beautiful guitar part. They tell a story about Adam Muto (who worked on "Escapism" with Joe and was Rebecca's board partner on Adventure Time), and how he asked Rebecca to write a song for the Adventure Time finale. Rebecca goes on to play "Time Adventure."
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Then they bring Ben back to do the bass while Rebecca sings "I'm Just Your Problem." Rebecca does a cool guitar solo in the middle while Ben rocks on the bass.
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Then they do a nice little instrument switch and bring in the omnichord and set up "True Kinda Love." They shout out Chance the Rapper, aivi and surasshu, and of course Estelle for the help writing this song.
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Rebecca gets excited again about the amount of people who have donated and gives us info about the hotline for the Trevor Project, how their hotline is available for phone, chat, and text. They also point out the existence of Trevor Project's available pamphlet, which can help people understand their Bi+ friends and family, as well as helping actually Bi+ people understand how they can expect to be treated, how to understand themselves, and that they aren't defined by their partner.
Rebecca then takes a moment to set up with an acoustic guitar (so they can have their foot on a box since they don't have a strap) and they cut out briefly to get it organized. Then they do indeed come back with their foot on box.
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With a shoutout to Kate Micucci (who is watching on Instagram Live), Rebecca says she will play "a Lars and Sadie song" that she's figuring out on guitar, and plays "Be Wherever You Are."
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Rebecca goes back to getting excited about the donation amount and they can't believe it's as high as it is with the concert less than half over! They say they'd like to make a tradition of doing a Bi+ Awareness Week fundraiser every year. She didn't have access to information that Trevor is now providing to bi youth when she was growing up in the 2000s, and thinks their resources are so vital. She suggests using their resources yourself or that you slip the resources to people in your life who want to support (or need to know more about how to support) bi youth.
Rebecca says they're about to play a "really really hard" song that they're nevertheless excited to go for. They said maybe we can guess what it is. They shout out Nick DeMayo, who's in the audience, the animation director of Steven Universe who is Greg's namesake and taught them a lot about music. And then they jump into . . . a guitar and bass version of "Other Friends"!
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They shout out aivi and surasshu, Jeff Liu, and Sarah Stiles for all their contributions to that song, and how cool it is to play a "campfire version" of the song even though it's different.
Next, she wants to play a solo (but will need Ben again right after!) but takes a moment to thank everyone in attendance for supporting the stream and the Trevor Project. They say "thank you for bearing with me" regarding the performance rockiness. 
They talk about Marceline and how they felt so connected to this character--writing episodes like "What Was Missing" where Marceline would be revealed to have had a relationship with Bubblegum and be known to be a bi character, and Rebecca felt so astonished that the audience understood Marceline was bi and understood she would always be bi, not fluctuating in orientation based on current relationships defining her. Rebecca explored this about herself only after she saw it explored with Marceline, and understood it was so important to have media that helps people understand who a bi person might be. She never related to the "party person" or extrovert stereotype of bi people as they’re usually shown in media, and thought as a nerdy person who was shy, she couldn't be bi if that was true. Cartoons helped her connect with people who understood those things about Marceline and eventually about herself. 
Trevor is so important as an organization to help the next generation understand all of this. Rebecca has felt that knowing herself wasn't possible if she didn't understand her bisexuality or accept it as what it is, and it spread instability throughout the rest of her life. What brought her to finally being able to process and understand this aspect of her identity was cartoons, and she hopes cartoons can bring some others in as well. With that, she brings out the song she was asked to write for Marceline even though she had left the show. Rebecca plays "Everything Stays."
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Rebecca then says they were a little conflicted about whether they were going to say all that stuff, about why this issue is personal to them. (It's okay, Rebecca, this is the best!!!) 
She says that song was about her stuffed black rabbit that was her favorite toy that she thought she loved so much, but she forgot it in the garden and it was damaged. That it was so surprising to her that she could have loved this rabbit the way she did and not realize it was missing, and that it could change without her. "Everything Stays" was obviously about that, but she also says the situation with Spinel was inspired by the same toy. She switches to electric guitar to sing and play "Drift Away" with Ben back on board on bass.
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They point out that they're rocketing through the set list and Ian suggests maybe they'll have to do some encores. In thinking about what songs to play, they point out that so many songs were written about their mental health journey and coming out to family and friends. A song that was "at the end of that whole arc" for Rebecca was "Change Your Mind." It can go on forever, they point out, but they'll only play it a few times. On we go with a really smooth guitar version of "Change Your Mind." (It's the extended looping version.)
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They announce that now with the Instagram contributions and the landing page we've reached the goal of $20,000, and they can't believe it's at the halfway point of the stream and we have already reached it despite that the show's been done for a long time and they "broke a lot of social media rules" by stepping away for so long, but that's been crucial to their mental health and their journey.
After they come back from a break, they discuss some funny artifacts that they finally got to take home that were left in the office--a Steven Universe piñata that they were supposed to smash in celebration of a pickup and they didn't want to because, you know, hitting a representation of their younger brother is kinda wack? Haha. 
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They also had a model of Marceline's bass. 
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These items were left in the office and just kind of frozen in time because Rebecca's last day (written on the white board, still, when they returned!) was March 13, 2020, just as the pandemic was coming down. Returning to collect stuff was like visiting a room that had been frozen in time!
Rebecca offers a stretch goal to get to $30,000 instead of the original $20,000, and talks a little more about the Trevor Project, discussing how important representation has been, to have bi representation in terms of DIRECT support for LGBTQ+ youth. What they've gotten to do with cartoon representation, having queer characters who can just have fun the way heteronormative kids can and see representatives of themselves is great, but these specific resources are also so important.
Rebecca then plays "Heart of the Country," a Paul McCartney song they're learning that has a hard solo they hope they'll nail. After playing it, they say they flubbed some of it but it was super fun.
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Rebecca comes out with an old ukulele--older than the one they wrote the Steven theme song on and auctioned off for National Bailout--that they wrote a bunch of Adventure Time songs and got as a Hanukkah present. (They mention happy 5782 for those of us who celebrate Rosh Hashanah.) Ben is also using his first bass! They recommend musical instruments as gifts for bi people because those are the gifts that keep on giving! They mention working on guitar during the lockdown (which has been therapeutic!) and not having played uke in a while because of that. With that, she dives into "Here Comes a Thought."
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They decide to talk about the background of "Mindful Education," how they were coming out at the time they were writing that episode and song. They said coming out was like having the ground spin around. They thought mindful meditation, being so wonderful and helpful, could become an 11-minute episode where Steven leads kids in mindful meditation. With help from Ben (and Matt Burnett), Rebecca realized it would work better if they show characters benefiting from the lessons. They have a little joke about how the episode number was 108 and they prided themselves on knowing the episode numbers. Then they put aside the uke and pick up a big black guitar to play "Found."
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After this, she talks more about Trevor Project's hotline, chat, text, and resources. They remind us that bi+ people experience very specific forms of marginalization and this organization can help everyone who wants to understand. She thanks everyone for helping with donations and she can't believe the Instagram fundraiser has gotten to $10,000. She's amazed that "the thermometer is bursting" and promises to draw it later. Ben thinks he could be part of future fundraisers and Rebecca reminisces about times they've played together, like in 2016 at SDCC and a Gallery Nucleus show.
Rebecca goes back to the other guitar to do some audience requests for repeat songs and talks about the song "Fries." The story behind this one, when she was writing it--the first song she wrote for television and the first episode she boarded--since she was introverted and struggled with pitching, she went on the roof of Cartoon Network to practice being louder until she was actually audible. Ian helped.
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They decide to do the ending Craig song again and Ben says Jeff Rosenstock's song is really nice and Rebecca talks about getting teary over the Craig ending with people sitting around the dinner table. Rebecca's favorite line is "speaking in a stupid secret language." She feels like she still hasn't moved on from that in her life and likes to surround herself with people who speak that language. After it's over, Rebecca says hi to Jeff Rosenstock in the chat.
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They do more shoutouts for the Trevor Project and then discuss encore songs. Rebecca decides to do "Love Like You" again because they were sad they messed up a chord during the first performance. It's another lovely version.
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After more great discussion of the Trevor Project's resources and Bi+ Awareness Week, Rebecca says hi to her Brazilian friends and how awesome it was to visit there for a convention, and she loves that Trevor is trying to expand resources to be more global. She knows how important those resources would be to help people worldwide. She thanks people for coming out to see her, and admits to being surprised that her life has come to include actual performances since she always thought she'd just be behind a desk as an animator. She gets very nervous about performing but loves that people support her. They love being able to perform and once got a sweet comment from John DiMaggio (the voice of Jake on Adventure Time) who would hear the early demos that were a struggle to be audible, and he told her that she's come so far that it now sounds like she enjoys performing, enjoys the sound of her own voice now. She feels that coming out and all the support from friends, family, and organizations has made that confidence and comfort with herself possible.
With that, Rebecca plays the Steven Universe theme song on guitar!
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And then, they play "Time Adventure" again.
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Rebecca talks more about the astounding amount of support for Bi+ Awareness Week, how moving it is and how hard it is to hold it together while talking about what it was like to be an adult who didn't know if they were even allowed to be bisexual and nonbinary, how much of their adult life was in such a quagmire over not knowing fully who they were.
For their next to last song, they play a song written by aivi and surasshu with lyrics by Rebecca: "Being Human" from the ending theme of Steven Universe Future.
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Finally, Rebecca says thank you to everyone who's been involved in the songs--the performers, aivi and surasshu, Jeff Ball, the Crew, Ben Levin, Ian Jones-Quartey--and everyone who's helped raise over $11,000 just through the Instagram concert. She plays "Change Your Mind" one more time, adding that the journey is ongoing even though this song was written at a time she considers at the end of an arc of self-discovery for her.
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Thank you!
(Yes, I did a donation.)
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Links:
https://www.thetrevorproject.org/
https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/how-to-support-bisexual-youth/
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gayautobotwolves · 2 years
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The Beastbots (its oc time <3)
Just making a list of their names+ a vague idea of who they are.
For a quick summary: The beastbots are a squad who stay isolated from other botbots and are typically always in up high places, watching things from up above, they’re essentially the botbot version of a predacon.  Previously a line of robotic dragon toys with the lore on the box and everything, probably from a book series or tv show, the details don’t really matter, however one of them is far different from the rest, ordered from a completely different toyline on accident. 
Midnight Viper- The leader of the squad, doesn’t take anything from anybody and chooses to keep her squad far away from the other botbots, it’s for their own protection. A sorta purple and black shadow-dragon vibe going on with some faint green coloration here and there. Surprisingly friendly, she just doesn’t really like hanging out around the other squads in whole, but she does like a few individuals. The tallest out of the group, while her squad is made up of some rather big toys, she’s the biggest one. Reaches close to a human’s knee when standing at her full height. Her fellow beastbots (excluding Bubbles) are all shorter than her, but not by a large amount, they’re still rather large compared to other botbots.
Thunder Strike- Midnight’s second in command alongside Blizzard Seeker, she takes her role very seriously and follows that little backstory on the back of her box to the letter. She’s got some serious horns and spikes that rival that of her commander, does not hesitate to kill when she has a good reason to, hasn’t actually killed but she’s like 2 seconds away from it. Think Yellow Diamond from Steven Universe, very sparky and very gay.  Gold/white color scheme with hints of blue on her underbelly, her eyes are a bright turquoise blue.
Blizzard Seeker- While not as cool and collected as you’d expect, Blizzard keeps a level head and acts to neutralize Thunder’s constant boiling anger. Essentially part of the team’s impulse control, the other part being their lotus dragon friend. Blizzard seems to be able to stand cooler temperatures, and gets more easily overheated, she’s slept in many freezers throughout the mall, has a few favorite spots that she’s created dens in. Blizzard is one of the more bulky beastbots, she’s still pretty agile, but not as swift as Thunder Strike is. The strongest tail on the team, unless you count Viper’s tail, which has a sharp stinger at the tip. 
Willow Blossom- A dragon that looks almost just like a lotus flower, she’s the calmest beastbot in the entire squad. Willow is a big fan of music, and has a couple instruments of her own, which were probably accessories for her back when she was simply a toy dragon. Willow lacks the bulk that her fellow beastbots have, but she more than makes up for it in her extremely quick and precise movements, Bonsai would be great friends with her, they’re a lot alike. She’s very light on her feet, so it’s kinda difficult to hear her coming half the time. Scares the living daylights out of other botbots this way, even if it’s not on purpose. She also loves to sing and perform, which is one of the few things that bugs her about being isolated, the others are a lovely audience, but she longs to perform for the other botbots. Sometimes she sneaks off to play down by the fountain, which is why some bots whisper of a siren by the fountain water, with her angelic singing and sweet guitar playing. Nobody has really SEEN her, at least up close, though.
Shining Fractal- Covered in crystals, could blind a man in she were caught in too bright of a light, Fractal is practically glowing and she loves to show her beautiful crystal scales to all who will lay eyes on her. Rather carefree compared to her friends, not entirely stuck up per say, but she does get very stuck on her reflection at times and might be a little obsessed with how she looks. This gives her a bit of a struggle because she wants to look perfect constantly, she’s a beautiful crystal dragon so she must not have any smudges or even be the slightest bit unkept. Fractal doesn’t like being seen as anything but perfect, so she spends a lot of time shining herself to sparkle like brand new. Willow is trying to help her with her self-consciousness when it comes to her appearance, it’s a work in progress.  Aside from her personal issues, she’s extremely sweet and loves to give her friends makeovers, very much into fashion and such, will stop whatever she’s doing if you present her with a shiny object. Her nest is full of things like marbles, sparkly rocks and those little plastic gemstones from those capsule machines. 
Bubbles- She doesn’t have lots of lore, she’s hardly bigger than most botbots, Bubbles wasn’t even meant to be where she was when the cloud hit. She was ordered on accident, though the worker hardly paid any mind and just put her next to Viper, so when the cloud hit and they all woke up, the two immediately bonded. Bubbles acts far more childish and is rather innocent compared to the rest of her squad, but she’s happy being with the beastbots. Viper considers Bubbles as her own child, and is completely willing to fight anyone who claims that the cutesy little dragon bot doesn’t belong in the beastbots. Bubbles loves to play games and she’s extremely talkative, a little too much for some, but her squad couldn’t imagine life without her constant conversation.
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feralphoenix · 3 years
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NO ONE IS HAPPY WITH THIS: Leitmotif & Sound Palette In “Sealed Vessel”
whats UP hk fandom i am back with—“more picante takes?” WOW YES HOW DID YOU KNOW!!!
CONTENT WARNING FOR TONIGHTS PROGRAM: today we are discussing the hollow knight boss fight, and all that entails for all the characters involved. relatedly this post does not have anything nice to say about the pale king, so if you’re very protective of his character, you may want to skip it.
FURTHERMORE, i would like to iterate that this essay is working from a place of compassion for ghost, hollow, radiance, AND hornet, because every single one of them is miserable at this point in the game and doesn’t want the events of this boss fight to be happening at all. this post is not an appropriate place to dunk on ANY of them. if you want to do that, please do it elsewhere.
thanks for your understanding.
ALSO, AS USUAL: if youre from a christian cultural upbringing (whether currently practicing, agnostic/secular, or atheist now), understand that some of what i’m discussing here may challenge you. if thinking thru the implications of radiance and the moth tribe’s backstory is distressing for you, PLEASE only approach this essay when youre in a safe mindset & open to listening, and ask the help of a therapist or anti-racism teacher/mentor to help you process your thoughts & feelings. just like keep in mind that youre listening to an ethnoreligiously marginalized person and please be respectful here or wherever else youre discussing this dang essay, ty
NO ONE IS HAPPY WITH THIS: Leitmotif & Sound Palette In “Sealed Vessel”
A while back @grimmradiance​ made a lovely essay about comparing and contrasting Hollow’s moveset in their Hollow Knight and Pure Vessel boss fights and using what can be gleaned from the differences to speculate about their psychology. (This essay is currently their pinned, but I’ll attach a link in a reblog.) It is extremely good, and it made me want to look at the Hollow Knight boss fight my own self through one of my own areas of expertise, meaning music!
As we are all well aware, Christopher Larkin's soundtrack to Hollow Knight rules ass. There are two specific ways in which it rules ass that are relevant to this essay: Leitmotif, and sound palette.
Quick rundown for folks who aren’t familiar with these terms: A leitmotif is a melody associated with a character or event or mood that's incorporated into songs in different ways based on what's happening in the story. Undertale is an example of a game with an incredibly strong use of leitmotif that’s really only possible because Toby Fox is both the composer and the game creator, so he can synchronize the subtleties of the writing with music and scene scripting too.
The phrase “sound palette” can have a lot of meanings, but in this case I’m using it to refer to specific instruments or groups of instruments that are associated with certain characters. If you’ve watched Steven Universe and seen interviews/production commentary by its composer team Aivi & Surasshu, you’ll hear them talking about part of their approach to scoring episodes being how each main character is represented by certain instruments: Steven with the triangle wave, Pearl with jazz piano, and so on.
Hollow Knight is a small team project rather than a one-person show, so Christopher Larkin can’t go quite AS over-the-top with leitmotif integration as Toby Fox can on simple virtue of Team Cherry having to communicate what they want to him. But Larkin is Hollow Knight's sound designer as well as its composer, so he folds leitmotif and character sound palette together with striking use of stems to create a very immersive and cinematic musical experience that enhances HK’s story and gameplay.
This brings us back to the track Sealed Vessel, which has EXTREMELY tight and cinematic sound design and uses leitmotif and sound palette to not just sock players in the feelings during a charged and dramatic boss fight, but also tell us a lot about what Hollow and Radiance are experiencing emotionally, especially with the gameplay in mind.
So, let’s play the soundtrack version of Sealed Vessel (and some other stuff) and talk about what’s going on in the game during it!
You may want to get out your copy of the OST or visit Christopher Larkin’s Bandcamp page so that you can listen along.
LEITMOTIF & SOUND PALETTE
Before we actually get into analyzing Sealed Vessel, let’s talk about the involved characters’ leitmotifs/sound palettes so we know what we’re listening for.
Both of these things are easiest to identify when characters have a distinct theme song. Ghost does not. However, the main theme of Hollow Knight (see: the title track, Hollow Knight) is used as a leitmotif for the vessels as a whole. Most pieces involved with a vessel character include this leitmotif somewhere. For instance, you can find this leitmotif and variations on it in Broken Vessel’s boss theme. The Vessel leitmotif is led by a cello solo here, so we can identify that the cello is the central part of Broken Vessel’s personal sound palette.
When the Vessel theme is associated with Ghost in specific, it tends to be performed by viola and/or piano, as it is on the title track and in other places like the opening cinematic.
Moving on to Hollow, their specific sound palette is established not in Sealed Vessel but in Pure Vessel, their pantheon boss theme. (Sealed Vessel was composed first, since the Godmaster DLC didn’t drop until over a year after HK’s initial release, meaning Pure Vessel was reverse-engineered/extrapolated from relevant parts of Sealed Vessel. But we’ll get into that later!)
The major instrumental fixtures in Pure Vessel are choir and tubular bells (i.e., those dramatic vertical fellas that sound like church bells or a carillon), with some soft background instrumentation: bass drum, woodwinds (appropriately led by flute in the main melody’s “falling motion” - flute is the centerpiece of TPK’s sound palette), strings, and high/mid brass. Hollow’s overall sound palette has a very Christian choir-esque sound (in the Pure Vessel theme this is very idealized and saintly: soft and slow and tragic) and the beginning of their leitmotif has a very distinctive climbing melody that mirrors their ascent from the Abyss. The Unbearable Vesselness Of Being leitmotif is absent from the Pure Vessel track.
Meanwhile, Radiance’s boss theme is a very fun expression of her character upon which Larkin evidently went ham. Her sound palette is expressed through full orchestra (plus choir and pipe organ) that has a special emphasis on the bass part of the brass section, which does not see much use in the HK soundtrack. Her leitmotif has also got cute and distinctive touches: It’s full of triplets to match her tiara-looking antennae, and also has a repeated “fluttery” pattern of background sixteenth notes as countermelody, often spiraling downwards.
The majority of the piece is loud and bombastic and in a minor key to play up the “resplendent and terrible” wrathful aspect of herself Radi is pushing during this section of gameplay, a very quintessentially moth intimidation tactic: Try to look as scary as possible to keep your enemies from messing with you, since you’re not built for fighting. These blasts of intensity from the brass section match Radiance’s strategy of Overwhelm You With Bullet Hell Spam To Make Up For Lack Of Battle Experience/Poor Aim. But in between said intensity spikes you can hear traces of softer instrumentation and major key, little glimpses of a gentle warmth we can otherwise only infer from her backstory and the implications of Moth Tribe lore.
0:00 - 0:41 - OPENING AMBIANCE
The Sealed Vessel track begins with the ambiance of the Black Egg Temple’s interior: The faint tones of the glowing seals we hear when we pass by them, the only light in a pitch-black world besides the floor lighting up under Ghost’s feet.
Then a slow string tremolo fades in, slowly growing louder. In the track new notes join the tremolo progressively, while in-game a violin joins the anticipatory chord every time you snap one of Hollow’s chains. Which, may I say: A+++++++ sound design!!!!!! Rules ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The tremolo reaches a peak in dynamics - all three characters present are extremely tense - and then cuts off to allow for Hollow’s boss battle opening, i.e. Radiance screaming. Team Cherry kindly demarcates each phase of the battle with a Radi yell.
0:43 - 1:39 - PHASE 1: HOLLOW ON AUTOPILOT
Phase 1 opens immediately with Hollow’s leitmotif in bells, but with brass, piano, and percussion backing them up; grand and tragic. In the background the bass section of the orchestra's strings flutter in a repetitive pattern of 16th notes, i.e. Panicky Radi Noises. The violins harmonize with Hollow's leitmotif as it climbs, but then join the rest of the string section in fluttering 16th notes, transmuting what in Pure Vessel is the flute leading Hollow back down (8th notes) to a slightly louder “a” from the backseat.
In actual gameplay, the only attacks Hollow uses are their basic nail skills. Building on grimmradiance’s analysis of the window their attacks provide to their psychology, and pairing that with the Pure Vessel leitmotif booming over the metaphorical loudspeakers, we can tell that this is Hollow reacting automatically to a threat the way that their father trained them to. Their conscious mind might still be making dialup noises at Ghost’s sudden reappearance jumpscaring them with murky childhood guilt and trauma, but that’s only let muscle memory take over. Slash, parry, charge and thrust. Their time spent at bee bootcamp (which we can assume because Hornet was trained at the Hive and Hollow’s form while nail fighting is identical to hers on their shared moves) has served them well.
Radiance, meanwhile, has frozen completely for this combat phase, and contributes nothing here except the anxiety of the string section.
As the strings continue to go “a” the piano (Ghost) and woodwinds harmonize on something between Hollow’s personal leitmotif and the Vessel leitmotif in the backdrop.
However at around 1:29ish, the key changes, building into an overall color change for the Sealed Vessel piece.
1:39 - 2:15 - PHASE 2: SHE’S AS SCARED OF YOU AS YOU ARE OF HER
In actual gameplay, the part of Sealed Vessel used for phases 1 and 2 of the Hollow Knight fight is the Entirety of 0:43 - 2:15, possibly because there’s no easy transition spot like there is between phase 2 and phase 3. But the changes to Hollow’s moveset are clearly tied to this specific part of the piece.
Phase 2 is where Radiance pushes herself past her freeze response and starts trying to hit Ghost. Hollow gains two attacks here, which we can tell are Radi because they’re often accompanied by her crying (a softer and more abbreviated sound than her full scream): These two attacks are the Infection blob blast and the Light/Void pillar attack that hits for a full 2 masks damage (which appear to be Radi’s take on Hollow’s Pure Vessel-exclusive moves, their grabby tentacles & silver knife pillars respectively).
In the Sealed Vessel track, this part of the piece is almost entirely Radiance’s fluttering. The strings start by following the descending motion of Hollow’s leitmotif but in 16th notes, then ratchet up to start spiraling down again while straying further from Hollow’s leitmotif. This section ends in a back and forth between hard blasts in a one-two-(rest)-one-two-three pattern and gasps of fluttering between, with piano and low brass building behind it. Eventually the nervous fluttering of the strings becomes less frequent between the blasts: Radiance is inexperienced with fighting and very very afraid, but she’s also FUCKING PISSED and prepared to defend herself.
The OST version of the piece punctuates the break between the first half of the piece and the second with Radiance’s scream.
2:16 - 4:04 - PHASE 3: “I’M HELPING! :)” SAID HOLLOW; “HOLY SHIT PLEASE DON’T,” SAID LITERALLY EVERYONE
Phase 3 opens with Hollow stabbing themself repeatedly, a movement pattern they repeat throughout the phase. It is shocking the first time you see it, and never stops being horrible and sad no matter how many times you do this part of the fight.
Here, Hollow’s mind has finally come back online after their own freeze response, and they choose to destroy themself and bequeath the duty of sealing Radiance to Ghost. Even if they can’t be the one to make their father proud, they can still make sure their directive gets carried out.
Radiance knows exactly what they’re up to and why, and she reacts to this by completely losing her head and mashing buttons in a panic. This is something we see out of her at the ends of her boss fights too, where she’s feeling too threatened and afraid to do anything but spam optic blasts. In the Hollow Knight boss fight this manifests in two horrifying-looking but easy-to-avoid new attacks: The Infection blob sprinkler and the ragdoll.
Ghost does not react visibly because we're in gameplay, but their horror and grief at their sibling’s choice is echoed in the BGM. The Sealed Vessel piece goes soft and sad, with Ghost’s associated viola leading the bass strings in the Unbearable Vesselness of Being leitmotif. At 2:51 the violin comes in with Hollow’s leitmotif, and gradually the choir appears in the backdrop. The ensemble’s overall dynamics build in a slow crescendo, and at the very end of this segment the other instruments begin to join in.
This segment of the piece is also used in phase 4, which occurs if you don't have Hornet’s help or miss your cue to Dream Nail Hollow. Phase 3 ends when Hollow reaches 0 HP; in phase 4 they are for all purposes already dead. But Radiance manifests an extra 250 HP out of terrified, unadulterated FUCK YOU FUCK THIS!!! even though all she can do is get Hollow to fall on their face trying to slash and ragdoll them around. The BGM continues to play as Ghost absorbs Radiance from Hollow and Hollow’s body loses its shape and dissolves into liquid Void.
And there’s one other place in gameplay Sealed Vessel (Unbearable Vesselness of Being) is used: The Path of Pain, the completely evil kaizo-level obstacle course which presumably featured in Hollow’s childhood training, and behind which the Pale King has hidden his last and most terrible secret—that he had realized on some level that Hollow was a kid with feelings who loved him and wanted to make him proud, and condemned them to death despite it all by using them to imprison and torture Radiance as he’d always planned.
The OST version of Sealed Vessel includes the music for both normal ending cinematics, so we’ll be looking at them too.
4:05 - 4:35: ENDINGS 1/2: NO ONE IS HAPPY WITH THIS
In the BGM for The Hollow Knight and Sealed Siblings endings, the Vessel leitmotif is played by violin, viola, and choir while the cellos and contrabasses—and then the brass bass section too—play a slower version of Radiance’s downward spiral. But once Ghost is pierced by the Black Egg’s chains and Radiance’s struggle to free herself ends in failure, the soprano and bass sections harmonize. The animation zooms out of the temple and the seal reforms. They are stuck together now until the end of Ghost’s life. Hooray.
The OST version of the track immediately segues into the BGM for Dream No More.
4:36 - 5:45: ENDING 3: THANKS, I HATE IT
Here, Hornet’s associated instrument, the violin, plays one long sustained note with a few notes of Ghost’s piano alongside as she wakes up.
TPK’s goddamn flute comes in at 5:00 with his leitmotif overpowering the backdrop Vessel leitmotif on piano while Hornet surveys the carnage: The temple has been destroyed, Radiance is dead, and what’s left of Ghost’s corpse is smeared across the floor. The Void may have taken umbrage with his horseshit and unceremoniously vored him, but the motherfucker still got what he wanted in the end; the Pale King has ended the Infection by completing his genocide of the moths, using the children he abused and abandoned as his proxies, and wasting two of their lives. Can I get a hearty THIS SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! in the chat.
Given that Hornet herself is canonically unsure if bringing the fight to Radiance is really a just course of action, one can only imagine how she must feel when she sees the cost of that decision.
Our only real moment of catharsis is in this shit situation comes in at 5:13, where the flute gives way to a solo from Ghost’s associated viola, playing the Vessel leitmotif as the Siblings curl up and sink back into the mountain of their corpses. Goodnight, kiddos. You deserved better, and so did literally everyone involved in this whole stupid boss fight.
This is where the OST version of Sealed Vessel ends. Even without the gameplay and story context it slaps, but now that we’ve taken a look at how this 5:45 piece is wall to wall misery and fear on the part of literally every involved character, hopefully it will have even more impact!
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regrettablewritings · 3 years
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🎵 Erik destler 💖💖(how unpredictable I know)
*takes drag of Coconut Longboy I’m using like a cigarette*
You sick fiend, you literally gave me the hardest bastard of the bunch…Watch me butcher this bad boy 😎
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Ha! Betcha weren’t expecting a show tune right off the bay, were ya?! But in all seriousness, I can see Erik listening to a song like this and trying not to cry. For context, it’s between John Adams and his wife, Abigail, discussing how they miss one another dearly in their times of respective stresses. But soon, they’ll be reunited.
Till then . . . I am, as I ever was and ever will be yours, yours, yours.
(Plus, if you listen to the film version, it extends on the moment with Abigail pointing out John’s criticisms of her, whereas he points out that he actually quite adores these traits of hers, which is something I can see Erik doing: He’s a perfectionist, after all)
It just suits him: A song reflecting death, the macabre arising from the cold earth to feel the burn of energy as they dance amongst the living… It just works.
Erik is…picky. He’s so picky when it comes to the arts, hardly anyone is good enough for him. That being said, the love for “The Rite of Spring” was not instantaneous, nor was it necessarily genuine: The show’s lack of traditional traits led way to a riot, after all. The jarring composition of the notes seemed more like a hostage situation, and the intentional barbaric choreography was uncanny when compared to the more airborne leaps and toe-pointed pirouettes Paris was used to presenting.
But in a way, he also came to enjoy it as a hipster enjoys things: By seeing himself as smarter than the common man, seeing the show’s groundbreaking potential before the curve. Stravinsky was really going out on a limb with this piece, and even if Erik couldn’t totally digest it, he recognized the effort. It wasn’t until he got older when he truly began to actually grasp that this wasn’t just some show attempting to knock some fun at the French stereotyping of Russians as barbarians: It was a story discussing ritual, life, death, and man’s relationship with nature as being one of chaos — even if said chaos was sometimes even provided by man himself.
More of a guilty pleasure song, really. I can’t see Erik enjoying Steven Universe, much less most of the music. Being the sort of music snob that he is, he’d find most of the songs uninspired and failing to achieve their true potential. That is . . . save for one.
I always thought I might be bad, now I’m sure that it’s true
‘Cause I think you’re so good and I’m nothing like you!
It hits him where he lives, and it frustrates him that he ever let such a song get him so hard.
It’s a simple piece, but he likes the eerie yet attractive music box-like sound that pierces through an ebbing wave of strings.
As a friend told me, Erik is into weird shit. It’s exampled by the fact that “Don Juan Triumphant” sounds like a bunch of instruments in competition with one another. But he particularly would likely enjoy piano rock of some kind, and would likely find Will Wood’s . . . interesting work appealing in some way.
That’s all I got, like I said, Erik is hard to pin 🥲 But thank you for participating and for your patience, darlin!
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Getting to know me
Oh look, another oddball has joined tumblr.
Hello there!
(general kenobi)
(If you're wondering what I sound like, I won't disclose my age but I'm younger and reading this aloud in a British accent as I type it. I won't disclose where I'm from at the moment however.)
Nice to meet you. My name is unimportant, but if you must you can call me Deliquescent. If that's too long, Del works fine. (DElinquent has a nice ring as well, does it not? feel free to use that too) I'm new here, but it's so nice to be here finally. I guess introductions are in order?
I'm a teenager. I use they/them and occasionally she/him as pronouns. I'm a writer, and write anything from fan-fiction to original screenplays. I'm not British, but I wish to be, so feel free to read all of these in a vaguely posh British accent. I like to sing, and I play 2 instruments. I will take writing commissions once I get a tad bit more settled on this platform, feel free to get in touch with me about them!
I love Earl Grey tea, quoting my favourite media, and the rain. Green or purple are my favourite jolly ranchers and I prefer Dr Pepper over Pepsi or Coke in terms of pop. I like 2000's American punk-pop and punk-rock, and sci-fi and crime television shows. I also really really like Marvel, specifically the MCU. I'm biromantic, demisexual, and I am also Polyamorous. I also have very bad ADHD, so don't expect a regular posting schedule. My favourite animals are snakes, foxes and frogs. I have a cat, but want two more. (Yes, I would likely name them Stephen and Mycroft.) I would also eventually like 3 snakes as well. (Their names would be George Salazar Slytherin, Janus, and Loki.) I want to major in Education with minors in History, English, and possibly Creative Writing or Drama.
I think that covers all the bases, but below I shall list my fandoms/hyperfixations so that you have a rough idea of what I write for, roleplay and just generally talk about. Thanks for reading about this disaster bisexual, hes shes theys and gays!
Till next time, loves!
<3
My infatuations are:
- Sherlock (BBC)
- Marvel (cinematic universe)
- Harry Potter (but not JKR)
- Friends
- Infinity Train
- Steven Universe
- The Owl House
- Supernatural
- Thomas Sanders (AKA Sanders Sides)
- Hamilton
- Dear Evan Hansen
- Beetlejuice (Both movie and musical versions)
- Kong: Skull Island
- Crimson Peak
- Frozen II (Frozen I is okay but II is my fav)
- My Chemical Romance (MCR)
- Panic! At The Disco (PATD)
- Fall Out Boy (FOB)
- Green Day
- Star Wars.
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isaacthedruid · 3 years
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Steven Universe’s Representation and Music: an informal essay
As the first animated Cartoon Network show created entirely by a woman, Steven Universe’s run lasted for five seasons, a movie and a sequel-epilogue series. The show was far from perfect and its fandom wasn’t the best either but there is something so special about a show that followed lesbian space rocks and a young boy saving the world.
More specifically Steven Universe is about a young boy named Steven, who is half-Gem, half-human who protects the town of Beach City from evil. Gems are a kind of alien who take on the form of pastel-coloured women, to better assimilate with the rest of the world.
Rebecca Sugar, the creator, explains her colourful characters in a behind-the-scenes promo:
“I always dreamed of making a show that would have this mix of fantasy and reality. So, I wanted to make these fantasy characters that enjoy being with Steven as much, if not more than they enjoy being fantasy characters. The characters aren’t perfect and that’s what makes them so great.”
Steven’s family are known as the Crystal Gems, a group of rebels who fought against their government thousands of years ago and now live on earth. Steven’s mom, Rose Quartz was at the forefront of the fight, she did extremely terrible things and when she gave up her gem—-so Steven could be born—-she was left unable to form a body ever again. Steven, with only his dad and three alien women, must attempt to fix her messes and deal with the repercussions of his mother’s actions.
One of the main mechanics within the series is known as fusion, in which two or more Gems become a single being who is stronger and more powerful. The fused form takes on the physical, mental and emotional aspects of those who are part of the bond. As mentioned and discussed many times within this blog, fusions are a physical embodiment of different kinds of relationships. And for a show starring a primarily female cast, they do not shy away from using this mechanic to tell queer stories.
So explicitly that in 2018, the show had the first-ever lesbian wedding in a cartoon. Of course, representation wasn’t always as accepted in Steven Universe. Just two years before the big wedding, higher-ups at Cartoon Network told Rebecca Sugar, they not happy with the multiple queer relationships, so much so that they were ready to threaten cancellation.
In an interview with Entertainment Weekly, she expressed:
“If this is going to cost me my show that’s fine because this is a huge injustice and I need to be able to represent myself and my team through this show and anything less would be unfair to my audience.”
Being LGBT herself, identifying as bisexual and non-binary, representation is important to her. For many queer people, especially grown-ups, they hope to see themselves represented in kids’ media today as they never had growing up. They want nothing more for children’s shows to say that being “different” or not fitting in with our heteronormative society is actually normal.
Within Steven Universe, you can find woman-loving-woman relationships, non-binary and intersex characters, woman-loving-non-binary relationships, asexual coded characters and basically every other letter in the acronym.
Rebecca Sugar even acted as the exciting force for LGBT inclusion within Adventure Time, originally working as a writer and storyboard artist before leaving to create her own show. She pushed for making the ex-romantic queer couple to be canonically part of the story and for it to not just coded into the dialogue.
A few years later, she returned to the show, multiple times, to compose over 20 songs that would air over the series 10-year-long run such as, “I’m Just Your Problem” which had lesbian subtext that would be confirmed later.
Some other iconic songs including “Fry Song“, “Remember You“, “Good Little Girl“, “Everything Stays” and even the finale song, “Time Adventure“.
Much like the show as a whole, there is something so special about the music she writes. In total, there were over 160 songs written for the franchise, some being short little tunes, no longer than a minute while others were full-blown musical numbers. No matter, all of them have their place within the show. Often when the character can’t express lines through speech, music is utilized to provide a more raw and poignant portrayal of their emotions.
Why Steven Universe is so widely loved is due to the music, as the overall story is not even close to perfect. Yet, everyone can agree on one thing, the music is unbelievably good. What is interesting is the different styles of melodies and backtracking used in the various songs, even more impressive is that every character has their own instrumental motif.
Steven’s motif is the ukelele as he is often seen playing the instrument himself, performing short little melodies and even writing the in-show version of the theme song. Additionally, Steven’s music uses a large amount of Chiptune synth, electronic music which is created using a programmable sound generator. Both instruments have a very childlike feeling to them, Chiptune especially as it is normally used in video game music like The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, one of the main musical inspirations for the show. As Steven is the lead, most of the music has Chiptune somewhere in the score and fun fact, the first song in the show, sung by Steven, “Cookie Cat” was actually written on an old Gameboy.
Amethyst is very loud and fun, her motif is electric drums which is extremely reflective of her character. As she can be angry from convincing herself that she is not good enough to happy and giggling from pranking Steven, her instrument can be used in so many ways as she is not a simple character. No matter what, for the few songs Amethyst has on her own (or in the score), her drums provide such an interesting emotional response to the situation.
Garnet is a fusion, so her motif is actually the combination of two instruments. Ruby is a drumbeat as she is a fiery and loud character, she is chaotic while Sapphire is her opposite. Sapphire is calm and collected, she has ice-related powers and is represented by Synth music. The characters together have a perfect unity, expressed by Garnet’s synth bass sounds, she is the equilibrium of two very contrasting characters. The music associated with Garnet, uses primarily the synth bass but Ruby and Sapphire’s individual instruments can be heard throughout her music. All three instruments are also heavily representative as Garnet’s main dancing style is Hip Hop which clashing with others’ softer dancing styles.
Despite, not being alive during the show, Rose Quartz still has her own musical motif as she plays a large part in Steven’s growth throughout the series. As well as being in many flashbacks, she is represented with strings, more specifically, the violin. Rose’s story is rather sad which quite is visible within her associated music, yet, she was also an extremely powerful character as she led the fight against the Homeworld government. Her strength can be heard with strong uplifts and swells in the music. She is never seen playing an instrument unlike the rest of the main characters but one person who plays hers is Pearl, a character Rose was possibly in love with.
For the complex and beautiful character, Pearl, her motif is classical and swing piano. She is visually represented as a ballerina for a large majority of the series, dressed in a leotard, a small skirt and ballet shoes. Apart from Garnet, she is one of the calmest characters in the show. She is a perfectionist and is knowledgeable on many topics. She has a dark past and her fair share of trauma, all of this is wrapped up in her music. From her traumatic past with Rose Quartz, the violin had been heard throughout her music, yet, when she finally dealt with everything, the violin was lost. Swapped out for a new instrument, a bass guitar which she learned how to play at the end of the series. Pearl is a character who has been through a lot and her music reflects it. As she grew, her music changed with her, becoming her own instead of something built off of Rose’s.
My personal favourite song is “It’s Over Isn’t It?” which is this heartwrenching and emotionally painful ballad sung by a broken woman. Pearl was in love with Steven’s mom. Yet, the feelings were not mutual or at least ended being reciprocated as Rose left her for Greg, Steven’s dad. It hurts because Rose didn’t just leave her, Rose Quartz also passed away. As the song goes:
That they didn’t really matter until you I was fine when you came And we fought like it was all some silly game Over her, who she’d choose After all those years, I never thought I’d lose … You won and she chose you and she loved you and she’s gone It’s over, isn’t it? Why can’t I move on? … Who am I now in this world without her? Petty and dull with the nerve to doubt her What does it matter? It’s already done Now I’ve got to be there for her son
Without Rose, Pearl has lost her place in the world as all she ever knew was her. Yet, now she is left to help raise a half-human baby and go on with her life. It makes it more difficult as this baby is the product of Rose and the man that she left Pearl for.
Pearl doesn’t want to hate Greg, she is angry at him but she doesn’t have hatred towards him. They may not be the best of pals at the start of the series but in the song called “Both of You“ has Steven, finally, begging for Greg and Pearl to just talk to each other.
Why don’t you talk to each other? Why don’t you talk to each other? Just give it a try Why don’t you talk about what happened? … You might not believe it but you got a lot in common, you really do You both love me and I love both of you … I know you both need it Someone who knows what you’re going through
An interesting thing about this song is that Steven is this to them, the person with Rose’s gem is singing to the two people who fought over Rose. It makes me wonder if this could be Rose speaking through Steven to her two loved ones. Whether it is or not, doesn’t really matter to the overall story but it is a fun idea to look at.
Overall, these songs are a literal representation of dealing with ones’ emotions in a healthy way, something that Steven Universe actively tries to teach their younger viewers about.
To say Steven Universe is a good show only for its music would be a false statement, it’s one of the strongest aspects but without the story or the characters, the music would fall flat and not have any of its passion.
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ohhoneato · 3 years
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(for the ask game) 9. favorite quote? 16. what’s your favorite instrument? 50. put your music on shuffle and list the first 10 songs to play.
Favorite quote?
It's kind of lame, but I have 3. One of them is "You're Going to Be Amazing" said by Istus on The Adventure Zone. I have it tattooed on my arm. The second is "Why Do you write like you're running out of time?" From Hamilton. I have that one tattooed on my shoulder and was my first tattoo. And the third is also from Hamilton "Death doesn't discriminate between the sinners and the saints, it takes and it takes and it takes." I want to get that one tattooed on my lower right back and add a "and it takes" for each person or animal of significance I've lost.
Favorite instrument?
I really love the way violin sounds and I love acoustic guitar. I also absolutely adore piano and the kalimba.
Shuffled music
Hold up, let me go to my spotify. I'm gonna use my usual playlist and my liked music, because I want to.
Travel Playlist (my usual playlist)
Some Nights by fun
Wolf In Sheeps Clothing by Set It Off
Barbra 2.0 from Beetlejuice the musical
Sober Up by AJR
Bellyache by Billie Eilish
I'm Something Else by SomethingelseYT
IDGAF by Dua Lipa
If I Could Tell Her from Dear Evan Hansen
Prologue: Invisible from Beetlejuice the musical
Little Lion Man by Mumford and Son
Liked songs
Trebles Finale from Pitch Perfect (I like Ben Platt)
B.B.B.F.F from My Little Pony
Caraphernelia by Pierce the Veil
The Working Dead from Steven Universe
Don't Stop Me Now (Glee Cast version)
If I Could Tell Her from DEH (again)
If You Can't Hang by Sleeping With Sirens
Misery (Glee Cast version)
Gorilla by Pentagon
Lost Boy by Ruth B.
The liked songs are absolutely not things I regularly listen to, but the travel playlist shows how sporadic my music taste is xD
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sparklypoms · 4 years
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Steven Universe Background Song Analysis ;)
So, i was actually listening to the instrumental version of the full theme song of SU, “We are The Crystal Gems” but then, i noticed something.
When the part in the song comes for each character to explain why they’re fighting for earth, a different tune plays behind them as they sing, and i just decided to analyse them for fun, and oh wow.
NOTE: i don’t study music nor have any professional knowledge in official music anylysis, but i did listen to the karaoke album and i thought analysing it would be fun :)
Firstly, Garnet.
“I will fight for the place where I’m free, to live together and exist as me.”
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The tune behind Garnet’s part emits a strong and aggressive beat, compiled together with loud drums and snares. This actually matches to Garnet’s personality, head strong, brave, and never backs down from a fight. Furthermore, the reason she is fighting for Earth is her desire for self-expression and freedom as a fusion, a noble cause, therefore having the appropriate background music to fuel emotions that cause the listener to become excited or determined, as of someone watching a fight scene in a movie.
Secondly, Pearl.
“I will fight in the name of Rose Quartz and everything that she believed in.”
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The first instrument I hear in Pearl’s tune is boom- piano.  Pearl’s tune is a parallel of how she holds the values of elegance and grace at a high significance. The tune itself is almost like a choreographed ballet dance, smooth, classic and very enjoyable to listen to. However, there is one more thing that I’d like to point out. The tune reminds me of roses. 
As you could probably tell from the lyric itself, at this point of the show Pearl has not yet fully found her self and her self-worth, still seeing herself as a simple gem still trying to fufill the responsibilities of Rose Quartz. Her entire life, even till that point was dedicated to the sole purpose of serving her, thus sticking to the more... traditional values of a pearl.
As such, her tune mirrors both her values and her cause. It’s smooth, choreographed, classical.
Thridly, Amethyst.
“I will fight for the world I was made in, the Earth is everything I've ever known.”
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Amethyst’s part definetly emits more of a rebellious vibe. Lots of claps, drums, and high snares. As compared to Steven and Pearl’s tune, Amethyst’s and Garnet’s sound relatively similar, with Garnet’s having less hits on the drums.
This actually creates a comparison between Amethyst and Garnet. Let’s start with their similarities.
Both are fighting for causes that they feel strongly in
Both are driven by themselves / incidents that have happened in the past that drove them to do so
Both are fighting for a cause of self-expression / self-worth (Amethyst slow arc into having better self-esteem and Garnet’s whole fusion thing)
As compared to Steven and Pearl, Garnet and Amethyst’s tunes sound more similar due to the cores of their reasons foe fighting for Earth. Both causes stem from within them, a deep fire that motivates them to keep going.
And lastly, Steven.
I will fight to be everything that everybody wants me to be when I'm grown.”
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Steven’s tune, to put it simply is the epitome of childish wonder.
PS: This is pretty early in the show, so all his trauma still hasn’t come into play yet heehee
Anyway, his tune consists of a light melody, accompanied by what I will call “sound twinkles” in the forefront. This tune honestly evokes so many happy memories, one of which is actually the little star twinkles in Steven’s eyes when he gets excited. His tune is upbeat, lighthearted and evokes hope and happiness in the listeners, just like Steven’s personality
However, another point I would like to mention is how it is relatively similar to Pearl’s tune as well. As compared to Amethyst’s and Garnet’s tunes, their tunes are much more light/classical without as much bass. I believe that this is due to their root reasons for fighting for Earth. 
For Steven, it is already plain and clear in the lyric. He’s fighting for everyone else. His friends, his family, and to fufill the expectations sit on him being the child of Rose Quartz and uh, also actually being Rose Quartz as well. Even though he too lives on Earth, we can see that he has a knack of surpressing his own feelings for others (as seen in SU: Future), we can also conclude that one of Steven’s main priorities for defending Earth isn’t really related to any inner fire he has, but rather the desire to protect those around him, and to “be everything that everybody wants him to be when he’s grown”.
For Pearl, she also isn’t fueled by any inner fire. As said clearly in the lyric, she is defending Earth for Rose. This was her legacy, her pride and joy, her most prized possesion, so of course Pearl would strive to keep it out of the clutches of other diamonds and or being destroyed. However, as the series progresses, we find that Pearl not only startes fighting for herself too, but also startes to gain self-worth and confidence and see herself as more than a servant to Rose, but that is a story for another time. 
As such, Steven and Pearl’s tune sounds familiar, along with Amethyst’s and Garnet’s not only due their causes, but for their personalities as well.
We see a rebellious side in both Garnet and Amethyst, with Ruby spearheading the more angry part of Garnet. They also (even if accidental) defied Homeworld’s laws of fusion and went into hiding. Very cool of them, ngl.
We then see a more motherly side in both Steven and Pearl, both caring deeply for their friends, willing to sacrifice for those they love, and both have a special connection to Rose.
In conclusion, everything is connected. Hopefully I’m not overanalysing this. Thank you, Steven Universe! :)
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solavillain · 5 years
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Pas de Deux Ch 4: Jamais Vu
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+pairing: Spinel x fem!Reader +genre: Drama, romance, angst, slow burn, enemies to friends to lovers +warnings: None (for now) +word count: 6.4K +Chapter 4 / ?  previous || next
Read on AO3!
Your group heads out to the warehouse on the edge of town, and quickly starts setting everything up for the show. Some evacuees are already hanging around outside, waiting for Sadie and the band to do the soundcheck.  You don’t know too much about setting up all this equipment, so you help move things around and keep an eye on Garnet.  You’re internally kicking yourself for letting her wander off last time, she could have gone anywhere! Luckily Greg and Pearl found her, but still...
Spinel interrupts your thoughts, walking past with Steven, who looks rather aggravated. You watch their conversation bemusedly from your place in front of the stage, catching Steven’s eye and chuckling at Spinel’s antics.
“What’s that?” Spinel asks, pointing to some guitar amps up on stage.
“Guitar stuff,” Steven says flatly.
“And those?” she asks again.
“Uh, microphones...Spinel, hey, why don’t you help Y/n with taking tickets at the door?” He says quickly, shooting you a pleading look.
You chuckle and nod. “Yeah, I can do that. Wanna help, Spins?” you ask, the nickname flying out before you can stop it.
You watch her eyes go wide before she looks at the ground, avoiding your gaze. “Uh...yeah, I can help,” she mutters, leaving Steven to walk past you towards the entrance. As she walks past, you catch a glimpse of her face, which is a deeper pink than usual.
“Is she...blushing?” you think curiously. You follow her out to the front, eyes on the back of her heart buns. “Maybe the nickname is weird for a Gem I barely know...”
The sun is descending on Beach City, and it paints a lovely picture on the distant beach. The air is cool, and the atmosphere is just right- you can almost forget the world might be ending soon.
“Hi Mayor Nanafua!” you call out, stepping towards the smaller woman. “We’re here to help!”
“Ah, Y/n! I forgot you visit over the summer, how nice to have you here! Although, given current circumstances...” she trails off, gazing towards the injector. “Anyway! You and the pink one can direct people inside! Take tickets from the fans, send the evacuees in- fairly simple, no?”  
“Yep, we can handle that!” You reply cheerfully, motioning for Spinel to stand on the opposite side of the door from you.
“Ok Spinel, basically people are going to hand you little pieces of paper with today’s date on ‘em. Technically anyone can go in now because of the evacuation, but...we just have to hold the tickets for Greg so he can get a head count of how many people were here for the band.”
A fan walks up to you then, and hands you his ticket. You nod as he walks in and look back to Spinel, holding up the small ticket for her to see. “This is what the tickets look like, just so you know. It’ll be fun! This shouldn’t take long, and then we can watch the show!”
“Yay! I’m so excited!” Spinel cheers, grinning out at the approaching crowd.
x  *  x  *  x  * x  * x 
Once there’s a sizable crowd inside, Mayor Nanafua catches your attention and tells you to head in as well. You grin and grab Spinel’s hand excitedly.
“C’mon, it’s gonna start!”  
You rush inside with the pink Gem in tow, moving up front to find Greg, Pearl, and Garnet. To your surprise, Amethyst has made her way on the stage- you forgot she drummed for Sadie Killer sometimes, so this was going to be even better than you thought! Spinel made her way over to Garnet, which gave you an opportunity to check in with Steven and Greg.
“Hey guys, how’s it going?” you asked kindly.  
“Well...okay, I guess,” Greg replied, scratching the back of his neck while nervously glancing at Pearl. “We requested a song for them to play that might jog Pearl’s memory...”
The song begins, and it’s one you recognize off the new mini-album, called “Disobedient”.  You grin and start dancing in place, watching Amethyst rock out on the drums. She really was great! You glance over at Garnet and Spinel, who have taken to jumping up and down together.  
“At least she’s getting along with one other person,” you think happily.  
“This has gotta bring Pearl’s memories back,” Steven says to you and Greg confidently. You look past them at Pearl, who gazes at Greg, waiting for any opportunity to serve him. You can only hope this will spark something in her...
But as the song goes on, she shows no signs of recognition. Your closest Gem friend is right in front of you and she has no idea who you are, not even with this song about rebellion. You can’t think of what else would work, and you’re building up the strength to accept that, like Garnet, Pearl might not be back for a while.
You can see Amethyst growing more and more worried from behind the drum set. Pearl seems just as devoted to Greg as usual, even going so far as to bow to him at the end of a short ballet dance. Amethyst motions to you and Steven to come closer to the stage, and you follow Steven as he dances his way up.
“It’s not enough!” He says in an exasperated tone, raising his voice above the music.
“She still isn’t remembering anything,” you chime in, glancing back at her sadly.
“Maybe we need to hit her where it hurts,” Amethyst says, resigned.  
“What?” Steven replies.
“You know, her original boss, the love of her life- the reason she rebelled in the first place!”
“Mom...she’s gotta remember Mom! But-” he cuts himself off, turning back to Greg who had been listening in.
“If that’s what it takes,” Greg says with a shrug, preparing himself to see Rose.
You glance worriedly between Amethyst and the others. You never knew Rose, so seeing her won’t mean a whole lot to you- other than reminding you of all the ways she hurt your friends- but you know it could be devastating for any of them, and especially Pearl.  
“This could work...”
Steven nods to Amethyst, and she grabs a mic while shifting. Suddenly, Rose Quartz is standing before you, albeit a purple version of her. Like everyone else in the room, you can’t tear your eyes away from her, but in your peripheral you see Pearl hasn’t looked away from Greg at all. Amethyst/Rose looks directly at Pearl and finishes off the song.
“I want to be disobedient...I want to be disobedient...disobedient....”
But as the song ends and cheers erupt from the crowd, Pearl still isn’t any closer to shifting back to her present self. You slump your shoulders sadly, tears forming in your eyes.
You turn back to the stage just as Amethyst shifts back to her normal form, and you’re suddenly grateful that at least one of the Gems is around. You don’t know how you would be getting through all of this without them. Steven is great, but he still has his moments where he reminds you that he’s just a kid. You know you’re still young too, but you’re a little closer in maturity to the Gems, so having them around for crisis is always comforting.
“How could that not work? What are we missing?”
Steven’s voice makes you tear your attention from Amethyst, and you get back into brainstorming mode. You can’t afford to fall apart now.  
You don’t have any answers for Steven’s question; all you can do is turn back to Greg and Pearl and wrack your brain for something else to try. Greg claps slowly for the end of the song, and Pearl rushes to stop him.
“Don’t worry, I can clap for you!” She yells, and claps exuberantly, much to Greg’s dismay.
“Ugh! What will make you stop serving me?!”
“As long as you exist, I will serve you!”
To your right, Steven and Amethyst gasp in unison.
“What, what am I missing?” You ask them quietly.
“’As long as you exist!’” They say at the same time, quoting back Pearl’s words.
“That’s the final piece- Mom disappeared!” Steven exclaims. He rushes over to Greg, a determined look in his eyes.
“Dad- I’ve got an idea.”
He whispers something to his father, something that causes Greg to look at Steven in disbelief.
“Are you sure? Aren’t your powers messed up?”
“I can at least try!”
“But...what about me? I’ve never...”
“C’mon, Dad- let's duet!”
With that, Greg nods once, and follows his son to the stage, both grabbing a guitar on the way. You look wide eyed towards Amethyst, who has a half-crazed grin on her features.
“How is another song supposed to help Pearl remember? We just tried this!” you whisper loudly to your friend.
She laughs and grabs you by the shoulder, pulling you in and pointing to the stage. “Just watch, dude!”
You roll your eyes and smile, knowing that it’s better to trust Amethyst and go along with it rather than argue the point. Besides, Steven thinks this could work too, whatever it is.  
On stage, Greg and Steven ready their instruments, briefly tuning them before they look at each other and start playing. It’s an intense sounding rock intro, and as they step closer to one another on the beat, pyrotechnics flare up in front of them. It’s so bright that you almost miss it- they're back to back, Steven looks like he’s straining, and then there’s a flash of light and smoke surrounds the stage. You squint, trying to see where they are since the music has stopped-
“Um-Greg?” Pearl calls out nervously.
Spinel pops up next to you and cries, “Steven?!”  
Before you or Amethyst can answer either of them, a voice that is distinctly not Steven or Greg sounds out from the stage.
“It’s a big old universe out there...and when you’re getting crushed under the weight of them stars, sometimes you need that special someone to remind you that you’re so much more.”
The smoke parts, and a man is standing before you- “No, definitely not a man, really...a fusion,” you think to yourself, noting the four arms he possesses. Did Steven really just...fuse with his father? If you hadn’t heard about and seen Stevonnie before, you almost wouldn’t believe it. A half gem, half human fusing with a full human...It just seems so unlikely. But you know by now that with Steven, basically anything can happen.
Behind you, Pearl is looking around for Greg frantically, and you’re almost ready to give up again- Greg disappeared and she’s still not back?- but once Steven/Greg start singing, Pearl suddenly looks almost...relaxed. More at ease than she’s looked this entire time since she was reset. And you have hope again.
“Nothing is holding you back now,” Steven/Greg sings, “No one can push you around. What do you want to do? You’re the master of you! And isn’t the thought enough to lift you off of the ground?”
Suddenly a pink aura is surrounding Steg and Pearl, and they’re literally lifted off the ground by music. You gasp in wonder, and look excitedly to Amethyst, who is looking hopeful as well. You both clutch the front of the stage, staring up at the floating pair as they drift higher into the sky, the music getting further and further away.
After a moment, you see a bright light emitting from Pearl, and your heart leaps.
“She’s coming back, she’s coming back!” You screech to Amethyst, jumping up and down excitedly.  
She grins nonchalantly and hoists herself up on stage as a glow surrounds her too, and brings her up into the sky with the others. You watch in fascination as Pearl’s far away form shifts through what looks like different iterations of herself. Finally- the Pearl you know emerges, jacket and all. You clap happily, watching with glee as Pearl and Amethyst do a short dance, and then they’re fused as well- into the Gem you know as Opal. You’d never actually seen Opal form, as there hasn’t been much occasion for the Crystal Gems to fuse (except for Garnet, of course). So this is a real treat for you, and wow do they look amazing!
“Hell yeah! Get it, Opal!” you call up to your friends, pumping a fist in the air.  
Behind you, Lion appears, and swoops Garnet up into the air, Steg’s pink glow supposedly lifting them off as well. You watch them pass by, and you wish you could be up there with them...but you’re content to watch from below, supporting your friends.
You don’t see Spinel’s face twist into an expression of sadness and longing.
You hear the faint ending of the song as the group descends back down, and Steven and Greg quickly unfuse as they reach the stage. You hop up onto the stage as they fall to the floor, and Steven looks much worse than he did before the fusion.
“Steven...hey, are you okay?” You call out as you reach the group. Your back is facing the crowd and you’re focused on helping him up, but Steven’s gaze goes past you.
“Wait...Spinel!” He cries out weakly. You turn towards the pink Gem just in time to see her rush to the entrance. You glance between Steven and the retreating form of Spinel, trying to decide what to do. Ultimately, though, you decide Steven is more important in the moment- he looks really worn out and you’re concerned for him.
And you’re not the only one. Amethyst and Pearl unfuse, looking content, until Pearl notices Steven’s condition.
“Steven, are you okay?!” she gasps, echoing your sentiment from earlier.  
“D-don’t worry about me,” He says, finally accepting your help in standing up. He seems a bit more stable, though still fairly shaky on his feet, “We need Spinel to remember how to stop her injector. Pearl, what do you know about her?”
“Spinel? She was Pink Diamond’s little playmate...They used to spend ages together in Pink’s garden,” Pearl replies. You can’t help but catch her eye and give her a big smile, which she returns. It’s so good to see her back to normal and acting like herself again. You can’t wait to catch up when all of this is over.
“Garden?” Steven asks incredulously.
“That’s where they used to play-”
“So what’s her problem with us?” Amethyst interrupts, furrowing her brow at Pearl.
“I don’t know, I haven’t seen her in six thousand years!” Pearl answers, earning a surprised look from you. It’s so easy to forget how truly ancient the Gem race is, when they’re just such a part of your daily life.  
“Something must have happened to her since then!” Pearl finishes, glancing between the group.  
“Then that’s what I need to find out,” Steven says, seemingly ready to take off after Spinel.  
“Hey, Steven, um...maybe we should let you rest for a bit first? She can’t have gone far,” you say hesitantly, holding a hand on his shoulder to steady him.
“It looks like that fusion took everything out of you!” Amethyst agrees.
“I’ve gotta do what I can with the little I have left,” Steven replies, sweat dripping from his face.
You stand in front of him as he starts to take off. “At least let me come with you, ok? Greg, Pearl and Amethyst can watch Garnet, and I’ve been with Spinel all day, I might be able to at least help a little.”
Steven glances away, seemingly thinking about the offer. “Well... okay. But please, if we get her memories back and she starts to attack me again, please just run and get help. I know we have her scythe now and that wouldn’t affect you anyway, but she could still hurt you,” Steven pleads, looking at you with concern.
You nod in agreement. “I promise that if there’s nothing I can do to reason with her, I will run and get help and not try to fight.”
He smiles weakly at you and motions to Lion. “Ok then. Let’s go after her.”
You hop on behind Steven and burst out the front of the warehouse to see the Mayor still waiting for stragglers.
“Oh, Steven! Y/n! Some people are missing from the shelters!” She remarks in an inquisitive tone.  
Steven ignores her and asks, “Did you see a pink Gem run by?”  
Mayor Nanafua points out across the water- back towards the Temple and the injector. Lion speeds ahead, dashing across the water.
“Thank you, Mayor!” You call out, hoping she’ll be able to find everyone that’s missing.
It takes Lion a few minutes to get across the water back towards Beach City. In the meantime, Steven collapses forward onto Lion’s mane, clutching at his gem.
“Steven?!” You ask in shock, “What’s the matter?”
“Just this morning everything was perfect,” he replies sadly, his words muffled by thick pink hair, “Why did everything have to change?”
You sigh and look up at the looming injector, and the inviting Temple at the base of it. “I don’t know, Steven. But this is just...temporary, ok? We can fix everything and still be happy after this.” You chuckle to yourself before you speak again, “It’s not the end of the world!”
Steven smiles half-heartedly. “Well...it kinda is. But thanks, Y/n.”
You nod, focusing your attention back towards the cliffside. A piece of Earth crumbles down, just nearly missing Steven’s home. As you near the house, the newly built observatory begins to glow, signifying the use of the warp pad.
“That might be her,” Steven says as you both dismount Lion. He turns towards the pink animal and says, “Go find Connie. We need all hands on deck for this one.”
At Steven’s command, Lion creates a portal for himself and bounds through it, leaving you two standing in the wake of the temple. A wave of uneasiness passes over you- which version of Spinel are you going to find in there? If she ran off, she must have remembered something.  
“I hope she’s okay...” you find yourself thinking.  
You and Steven rush up the stairs to the observatory, and he holds a hand out in front of you just before you reach the entrance, a silent warning to stay back until he can see her condition. You nod, and stand just out of sight, nerves all over the place.
“Spinel?” Steven asks timidly. He motions to you that it’s ok to step forward.
“She must still be her reset-self,” you think as you follow him into the observatory. Sure enough, you’re greeted with the sight of her heart shaped pigtails turned away from you as she sits on the warp pad.
“Spinel, what’s wrong?” you ask quietly, approaching her slowly. She turns at the sound of your voice, and you can see big tears streaming down her face, her features contorted in sorrow. She sniffles pathetically, gazing between you and Steven with big, gleaming eyes.
“I just...started getting these feelings flooding back to me!” Spinel exclaims, turning away from you again and clutching her head.
“That’s...that’s good! I need you to remember,” Steven says, approaching her with confidence and joining her on the warp pad. You scurry up next to him, wanting to continue to help.
“If you don’t remember, something really bad will happen to me and- and my home, and Y/n,” Steven finishes, putting a comforting hand on Spinel’s back. You kneel down next to her on the left, and try to peer around to see her face.
“Hey, it’s ok, Spinel...please, can you remember anything? Do you remember the Garden?”
She gazes in your eyes a moment, before her head snaps up to the sky. She grins for a split second, and then her face falls, and she slams her hands on the warp pad in agony.
“NO!”
The pad activates before you have time to react, and you’re floating through the stream, using all your power to focus on not drifting out.  
Ahead of you, Steven calls out to the pink Gem. “Spinel, where are we going?”
“Back. To where I never left,” she answers softly. You can barely hear her among the sound of the warp. Suddenly, gravity comes rushing back up to meet you, and you land on the warp pad with a thud. Steven and Spinel land upright, and the latter rushes down off the platform.
“Spinel!” you call out, scrambling to your feet and rushing after her, with Steven next to you.
“This was our Garden...a special world, built just for Pink and I,” Spinel explains, a faraway look in her eye. She gazes out over the landscape as if she’s watching a memory occur in front of her; she doesn’t take notice of you and Steven, but continues talking all the same.
“On Homeworld, Pink was so lonely and sad, but not here! Here we would play for hours...every day was so much fun! At least, that’s what I thought...”
She turns towards what looks like a statue in the center of the Garden, and seems to break out of her memories.
“Did something happen?” you ask softly, watching her expression closely.
“Pink wanted a colony, more than anything. One day, her wish came true! Blue and Yellow gave Pink her very own planet! Earth...I was so excited! A brand new place to play!”
Steven tips his head in confusion, “So...why didn’t you go with her?”
Spinel’s face morphs into something you’ve never seen on her before- no emotion whatsoever.
“Pink...showed me a game she wanted me to play while she went to Earth. ‘Stand very still’, she told me. I thought it would be so much fun...”
As Spinel recounts the tale of her life- if you could even call it that- you feel like you want to throw up. “She was asked to stand still to wait for Pink...she wasn’t even forced, like Pearl was about keeping Rose’s true identity secret. Spinel stayed out of loyalty, out of love...this is so fucked up,” you think, as Spinel continues.
“Finally, some news came. About how it all ended. I saw the broadcast, how Pink...doesn’t exist now, survived by her son. And all of her friends back on Earth.”
She races over to what you thought was a statue, and pulls up a screen, which has Steven playing on a loop.  
“He just got back from doing that earlier today,” you think, horrified. “She was stuck here until this morning?”  
A fresh wave of nausea rolls over you as Spinel finishes her story.  
“Aren’t I a fool to have happily listened...to have stayed...”
As she trails off, she begins to glow, and you watch unmoving as Spinel’s form changes. Her gem flips, her ponytails grow longer and spiky, and she grows taller. The light fades, and you can see that she’s back to how she was when you first saw her- darker, sadder, angrier.  
She stays facing away for you and Steven, and you’re about to say something to her, before Steven beats you to the punch.
“S-Spinel! You got your memories back...I can’t believe Mom did that to you.” A beat of silence. “Well, actually, I can totally believe it. You’re not the only one she hurt.”
Steven approaches her, a friendly hand stretched out. Suddenly Spinel turns on him, growing in size and throwing him to the ground, a fist raised threateningly.
“Yeah, you must know all about her life without me! Rub it in why don’tcha?!”
“No, it’s not like that!” Steven exclaims while trying to summon his shield, “You deserve a better friend!”
Spinel blinks in surprise. With a yell, she turns back towards the communication device and punches it to pieces. You recoil slightly, not wanting a rogue rock to strike you. Speaking of rogue rocks...
You turn back to Spinel, who just sighs and crumples onto the floor. Your concern for her overtakes your fear of her, and you step tentatively to her side, crouching down next to her.
“Spinel, I... I’m so sorry about what you went through. As a human, I... genuinely can’t imagine what that must have been like. Waiting for eons... But I’m sorry all the same.”
You try to look her in the eye, but she avoids your gaze, turning her head away from you. You glance back at Steven, silently asking for help.
“Spinel, come back and save the Earth with me. You can start over there,” he reassures her. “You can make new friends.”
He holds out a hand to her, and she stands and turns to him, leaving you trailing behind them both. Had you done something to upset her?
“As long as he thinks this will work...I’ll trust him,” you think. You can’t help feeling a bit put off by Spinel not wanting to even talk to you, but you suppose she has a lot of complicated feelings towards Steven right now.
“Someday, you’ll love again,” Steven reassures Spinel as she takes his hand tentatively, “You just need to find someone who treats you better. “
He keeps glancing at you and the warp pad repeatedly, and you can tell he feels a bit awkward, talking to Spinel like this. You almost wish he’d let you keep trying- she may not trust either of you, but you’re not so sure Steven really feels up to this sort of emotional baggage right now.  
He continues leading her forward, eventually breaking off from her hand and running up to the warp pad, motioning for you to join him. You quickly follow him, eager to get back to Earth. Warping around Earth with Pearl is one thing, but being in space...you look up through the glass that’s separating you and the endless sky. You suddenly feel very, very small.  
Spinel looks past you, barely taking notice of you as she gazes at Steven. Spinel is making you feel small, too. You furrow your brow as you look between the two of them, but the warp activates before you can think further. You’re left hanging in the air again, struggling to get the hang of all the warping, but this time when the warp stops you land on your feet, at least. You celebrate at the small victory, and rush after Steven as he exits. At the doorway, you pause- Spinel is still standing on the platform, her eyes looking far away.  
“C’mon, Spinel,” you say quietly, offering her a hopeful smile. She finally seems to see you, and she snaps out of whatever trance she was in, wiping at the tears that had formed in her eyes.  
“Y-yeah, ok...” She seems to grow shy again as she rushes past you, leaving you to follow her and Steven once again.
The three of you enter Steven’s bedroom, and you both start to head down the stairs.
“We’re back!” Steven calls out in a sing-song voice, looking happier than you’ve seen him all day.  
“Hi everyone!” You say, waving at the three Crystal Gems from the stairs. You turn towards Spinel, who is hesitating at the top of the steps, out of sight from the others.  
“Come on down!” you urge gently.
“Won’t they all be...not exactly incredibly thrilled to see me like this?” She asks, pointing to her markings.
“Oh Spinel...” you say softly, your heart hurting for the Gem.
“We just have to talk to them,” Steven answers simply, giving her a small smile. Her expression shifts to one of trust, and she heads down the stairs into view, standing between you and Steven.  
“Wh-what?!” Pearl cries out. She and Amethyst instantly get into battle mode, both pulling out their weapons and taking a defensive stance. You feel Spinel shift next to you, hiding behind you and Steven timidly.
“Oh, Spinel! Did you change your hair?” Garnet asks innocently.
“Woah woah woah! Spinel got her memories back, but she’s not gonna hurt us!” Steven says to the Gems. You nod frantically in agreement, hoping they’ll put away their weapons.
“Everything’s chill!” Steven reassures, relaxing slightly when the Gems don’t pursue the attack further.
A bright light in the corner of the room makes you shield your eyes, and Spinel is so startled that she grips your arm on accident. Connie and Lion emerge from the portal, and Connie lets out a battle cry as she flips off of Lion.
“I’m here! Where’s the fight?” She calls out, looking around the room rapidly.
“Ah, there’s no fight, Connie!” you reply quickly, “Everything’s fine! Also it’s nice to see you!”  
Connie relaxes and gives you a smile and a wave. “Oh! Hi, Y/n!”
Suddenly, Greg walks out of the bathroom, and the group below rounds on him, startled by the sudden appearance. He holds up his hands defensively and says, “Okay okay, I’ll wash my hands!”  
As Greg walks back into the bathroom, Steven sighs and slumps forward. “Whew...okay! Spinel, can I ask you a favor?” he asks, some desperation creeping into his voice.
“Are you kidding? Anything!” she replies gleefully.  
As Steven explains what they need her to do with the injector, you can’t help thinking that this could all work out in the end. Spinel is about to get rid of the injector, and once Garnet’s memories are back things will go back to normal!
“Well...not entirely. We’ll still have Spinel around...but that’s ok, right?” you think, questioning internally. “She seems okay now, and she could make a new life here like everyone else has.”
x  *  x  *  x  * x  * x
You’re reminded of earlier today as you follow the group down the stairs and out to the injector. Only this time, most of your friends have their memories back, and you’re not in the dark about how to save the world. So as you make the trek up the hill for the fourth time that day, you’re actually relaxed and looking forward to the rest of the evening.  
You spot the New Crystal Gems up ahead, monitoring the injector still. You catch the tail end of their conversation as Peridot remarks, “That is bad! We’re hitting critical mass!” You assume she’s referring to the bio-poison, and you can’t help but feel thankful that you and Steven were able to get to Spinel in time and convince her to call it off. You look towards the pink Gem, who is currently hiding behind Steven, looking worried at the attention that’s on her.
“Steven, what’s the status on Spinel?!” Peridot asks worriedly.
“She’s back, and she’s here to help,” Steven replies easily. Spinel nods to him and moves towards her injector, her left pinky stretching into the shape of a horn that she blows into. She definitely seems...stretchier in this form, if the height and the pinky is anything to go by.
The injector floats off the mountain, and everyone breathes a sigh of relief, and the group cheers and high fives each other. You look at your friends and let out a breath, finally able to let your worries go after a long day. You glance back at Spinel and give her a tentative thumbs up, accompanied with a small smile for the Gem. Her eyes dart between your face and your hand, and she copies the gesture hesitantly.  
Next to her, Steven holds out his hand as a gesture of gratitude. “Thanks, Spinel,” he says happily.
“Aw, gee, what are friends for?” She laughs nervously, shaking the boy’s hand. Steven nods and turns back to the group, a determined look on his face.
“Okay, we’ve almost cleaned up this mess. Now all we need are Garnet’s memories and my powers, and we can all get back to living happily ever after! What could work for Garnet? Something about fusion, something about love...”
As Steven trails off into though, you can’t help but fixate on Spinel. She looks...worried, for some reason. Her brows are creased, and she’s standing awkwardly, as though she doesn’t quite feel like she belongs.  
As you watch her, she seems to find the courage to speak, her voice small and scared. “What about me?”
“Huh?” Steven questions simply, turning back to Spinel.
“Is that all you needed me for? To turn off my injector?”
“No! Well, sort of, but not-”
“W-what now? I-I did what you wanted, that’s it?”
“Well, yeah! We can just forget this whole thing ever happened!” Steven says with a half-hearted shrug and an attempt at a comforting smile.
You look between the two, conflicted on how to feel. On one hand, you can’t fault Steven for wanting to rush to get Garnet back and return to normal, but on the other hand...after everything you just learned about Spinel back in the garden, you’re surprised Steven is being so blasé about this. You don’t want Spinel to feel left behind and forgotten again. But life still has to move on.  
“How ya gonna forget with me around?” Spinel answers, slipping into the accent you first heard her speak in this afternoon, “I’m the source of all your problems! Don’t pretend you want me here!”
You try to interject, “Spinel, I-”
But she’s already spiraling down with worry, unable to stop her anxious thoughts, her eyes never leaving Steven. “You gonna put me somewhere? You gonna leave me somewhere? You gonna leave me alone?!”  
Your face blanches. Of course she would be worried, but she needs to be able to move on from this, at least for now. Garnet is important too...
“Spinel...” Steven says, apparently at a loss for words. He approaches her timidly, trying to comfort her, but she shoves him back with a shout. Steven falls to the floor and you wince. With his powers gone, he can’t be doing too well right now.
As he hits the ground, the rejuvenator flies out of his pocket and bounces towards the rest of the group. Garnet takes interest and before anyone can stop her, she presses the button and unfurls the weapon for all to see.
“Garnet, no-!” Steven races over to grab the weapon from her, taking care of where he’s aiming the scythe.  
“Why do you...have that?” Spinel deadpans, her eyes wide.
You feel like smacking your forehead. Of all the places he could have kept it... the house, the storage garage, even Greg’s van...why did he keep it?
“I was...just carrying it,” Steven answers, looking anxiously at the weapon. “I didn’t have anywhere else to put it.”
“Spinel, please believe him,” you chime in, “Whatever you’re thinking, it’s not-”
“We can just forget this ever happened,” she says, her eyes narrowing. “You mean I can just forget this ever happened!” She gives a fake laugh and then growls out, “What a plan!”
This is too much. You start to step back, afraid of what she might do next, ready to run if she rounds on you. You’re trained by Pearl, yes, but...you have a feeling training might not help much with this Gem.
Spinel continues, “I turn off the injector, and then the moment my back is turned, presto! Change-o! Problem solved! Well think again, you’re not gettin’ rid of me that easy!”
She extends her pinky into the horn again and blows, directing the injector to land directly on Steven. Your eyes go wide and you scramble, willing your legs to move quickly.  You try to move out of the way in time, and you make it a good distance, but the impact still sends you flying, knocking your head on the ground, almost catapulting you over a cliff that was formed by the injector. Luckily, you come to a stop before you’re flung over.  
Your ears are ringing, there’s dust everywhere, and you can barely see. Maybe you hit your head harder than you thought. But you can just make out a voice coming from the cavern down below.
“-want me like THIS?!”
It’s Spinel. She sounds angry, upset, desperate. Maybe you can still try to talk some sense into her, though you’re not entirely sure that’s possible at this point.
“Spinel? Are you down there?” You call out to the Gem.
“Ah, looks like we still got an audience!” she says menacingly. Arms shoot towards you from below, and you’re too shaken to react in time- she's wrapped around you and is dragging you in towards her. “How about a front row seat?”
“Spinel, please!” you cry out, “I know Steven, he would never do something like that to you!”
Her eyes narrow as she looks into yours. “Oh yeah? The whole time I was the old me, he barely acknowledged me! I know he doesn’t want me here. I know it!”  
She squeezes you tighter out of anger as she fixes her gaze on Steven. “C’mon, you wanna attack me! Just admit it! Or better yet, just try it!”
“Spinel, STOP!” you plead, squirming to try to get free. You anxiously look up at the cliff side, willing any of the Gems to appear to get you and Steven out of this mess.
“No! No one wants me around!” She yells, but then pauses and glances at you, something like realization flashing in her eyes. Her voice softens as she says, “Except...you treated me differently. You actually...talked to me.”
She rounds on Steven once more and shouts, “Y/n is the only one who ever treated me like anything more than a burden! Who treated me like an equal, and not some dumb innocent...thing!”   You glance back at your captor, surprised at her words. She was someone who you thought could have been a friend after everything. Not now, though. Not after this.
Spinel has a crazed look in her eyes, and you truly believe she wants Steven to attack her, just to prove a point. But you notice she’s also holding back tears- she's eternally in conflict with her emotions, it seems.
Steven finally finds the strength to stand, still holding the rejuvenator. “You know that’s not-”
“You want me gone so bad? FINE. But I’m taking HER with me!” She cries out, clutching you even tighter, trying to hold onto whatever comfort she seems to find in you.
“What? No. No she can’t,” you think frantically, “She has nowhere to go-”
But before you know it, she’s moving out of the canyon fast, unbelievably fast, up onto the injector, with you still wrapped tightly in her clutches. As you’re being dragged away, you see Pearl and Amethyst moving towards you, weapons at the ready. You can’t let this continue any longer.
“Pearl, Amethyst, stop!” You shout out, hoping they can hear you. “Just let me handle this, please! I can talk to her, just focus on fixing the Earth!”
You know the Gems, and you know Steven- they'd probably ignore most other things to go after you, especially with Garnet not here to hold them back.
Spinel scoffs as you finish calling out to your friends but doesn’t comment further. You scowl at her, powerless to do anything but watch as she removes the injector with a call and sends it speeding across the ocean.  
“What exactly is your plan here?” You spit out, “You have no idea where anything is. They’re gonna find this injector so quickly, what are you even do-”
“Just can it, won’t cha?!” Spinel shouts back, and wraps a stretched hand around your mouth, shutting you up for the time being. She sits with her back to you, chin in her hands, staring out at the rising sun. So you just watch as you drift across the ocean towards some place neither of you know yet.
And then you’re gone.
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moonlightstars16 · 4 years
Text
Fighting Fate And Finding Love
AN: The song used in this One-Shot is 'I Won't Say I'm In Love' but it's The Cheetah Girls version which I happen to like. Not over the OG that is Susan Egans beautiful voice but something a bit different. Oh and I finished writing this around 2 in the morning... I gotta stop doing that. Lolz.
It was a nice day outside. The breeze was swaying the cool breeze in a nice flow, the sun was shining and Connie felt at piece. She sat underneath a tree that was right outside the library. It was secluded( and elevated a bit on a hill) enough for others not to disturb her. But had a nice view of the square. Her countryside village was small but full of life. The people were nice and friendly, even when they worked extra hard. Kids after their school would play and dance to the most beautiful music being played.
That was partly because of a young man named Steven Universe. He made the harmonious melodies every single time he visited the small town. Which was becoming more and more frequent. No one knew why he came, but they were thrilled to see him whenever he appeared. At first he would visit only when the town seemed to be in low spirits. Now he came almost every day. The children loved him and the adults loved to see their children in high spirits. They were grateful for him.
Connie smiled upon hearing the sweet music once more. His beautiful instrument, called a guitar, was so other worldly to her that she stopped reading, Leaning back with her eyes shut and just listened. Her soft pink strawberry covered dress with a frill hemmed v-neck, small and short puffed sleeves tying at the ends, cinching a bit at the waist, and flared out to matched the bottom of her mid-length skirt, flowed with the wind. Along with her shoulder length hair.
After awhile she opened her eyes. The music was briefly paused until another song began. Only this time she heard his melodious voice. The song itself was beautiful, yet held a bit of sadness. Most let those lyrics fly over their head in favor of the music's beauty. Which was alright but Connie couldn't let the sadness go. Bookmarking her page, she closed the book, stood up and walked towards where most everyone was gathered.
The crowd had somewhat huddled around him in a circle, moving wherever he went. Leaning against the wall she sighed with a half, almost empathetic, smile. There standing around the fountain's rim, guitar in arms, was the man that brought a touch of life into this town. Black, messy curls, A more rounder frame, with a simple white shirt, small red vest and brown pants where his style. Of course it wouldn't be complete without his wonderful smile. One so unique and full of kindness.
Their eyes met during his song and for a brief moment, everything disappeared except for them two. Her heartbeat raced as she gazed into his wonderful deep brown eyes. His entire body moved to where it subtly faced her own. Though they were far apart by only a few feet away, it was as if he was right in front of her. Her shy personality took over as she clung her book, arms crossed over, across her chest, holding on tight.
This wasn't the first time they met.  However it happened exactly like so. It happened almost two years ago. When he first arrived to the town and began to play his music right in the middle of the square. Right by the fountain she walked passed every day to the library whenever she had the chance. At first she didn't noticed him out of the ordinary, but rather heard him play. His music captured her attention immediately. Making her forget all about her books momentarily. Leaning against the wall, arms crossed with a book she was going to return in hand as he sung out to the world.
What stood out to her about him was his kindness towards other children. At times he seemed to be like an older brother. The best he became was a good friend. Not just to the kids but for everyone that came to meet him. He was never arrogant, helped others he passed by, and even shared his guitar to a little boy, and his sister, who wanted to try playing. It was the most adorable site she ever saw. Putting it simply, he was a good guy.
One day as he took a break from his music, she gave him a more proper 'thank you' and a small gold coin she had for him. He only smiled, shaking his head, giving her small coin back. Putting it in her palm and folding her fingers over with his own. Allowing it to linger for a moment before pulling back and explaining he did it for the love of music and for seeing the happy faces of others when he did. It was a sort of abnormal introduction but they soon were talking about a myriad of other things. Mainly her stories.
Sometimes she would read to give his voice a rest. Others he would play his guitar to try to match the mood of the story. Playfully teasing as he strummed dramatic music for a slightly less dramatic scene. Or doing something upbeat when he felt like it was too sad. At first it was a bit annoying but she grew to like his charming antics. Whenever he could, he would explain his travels away from home. Though he loved this town so much for a reason he didn't quite convey to her. But it was enough to make him stay. In fact it was almost enough to make him live there permanently.
Though she was curious, some things were meant to be private and she respected his the most. Other than that he was an open book. Before his travels, he lived in a home far from here with his father and guardians. Though he loved them it was time to grow away from his old home, find a new and fresh start. Currently he was living in the forest in a wagon. He liked the peace and earthly life surround him. So for now that was perfect. Challenging but wonderful.
Thinking back about all their times together made her blush as reality swept back in. Blinking she heard his song come to a soft end and the crowd cheering. Gesturing his hand up, people disappeared to give him some space and time to rest. Glancing once more, he waved his arm for her to come and sit, to which she complied too. Watching as he drank almost the entirety of his wine skin water holder. A satisfying sigh came afterwords as he wiped away the excess with his rolled up sleeves.
"You liked the performance?"
"Don't you know my answer is always yes?" She teased as he put the wine skin back in his bag.
"Well I mean I could perform something and you end up hating it." Steven shrugged as Connie lifted the back of her hand to her forehead leaning back.
"I could never! Hate anything by the amazing Steven Universe?! Oh lock me away forever for such a daring thought!" A moment of silence before a roar of laughter erupted from them both. Connie held her sides in an attempt to breathe. After a moment they calmed down enough to continue the conversation.
"Well I'm glad to know you liked it." Suddenly his head turned away from hers, hand rubbing the back of his neck as he hunched over in almost, shy sort of way. "Connie?"
"Yes? Is something wrong?" Scooting over she placed a hand on his shoulder in a concerned matter. Steven looked up with a smile before sitting up and handing her a small bluebell flower.
"This is for you." Connie gently took the flower from his hand with a slight blush permitting her cheeks.
"Steven it's beautiful thank you, but why-?"
"Connie, tonight I want to tell you why I want to stay in this town. But I fear you might not like the answer. If it's so then I will leave, but perhaps come back and visit whenever that shall be."
"Steven what do you mean? I can't decide what you should do, that will be your choice. If you want to stay whether I like the reason or not shouldn't matter. If it's your decision then I'll be there for you." Her confused look took a slight surprise as she could've sworn he heard him gasp a bit. His eyes almost brimmed with tears at the sudden gesture as his hand fell over his chest.
"You have no idea how much I appreciate it...still you have to know why." Standing up he picked up his bag and guitar before turning back to her. "Meet me tonight in the forest. Don't worry I'll make a path for you so you can find a little forest clearing much easier." With that he turned and walked away, leaving her speechless as her confusion kept building and building. Biting her lip she turned to look at the fountains reflective gaze. Her mirrored self seemed just as confused.
Thoughts swirled in her mind as to why her opinion mattered to him most. And why did she feel like her heart would break if he left her. It wasn't like it was the first time. However this felt different. More personal for her. It felt as if she was loosing a huge part of her life. Almost like her heart would shatter at any moment.
And then it hit like running into a brick wall.
Gasping she lifted herself up from the fountain and rushed out of people's view. Looking around she breathed in gasping for air as her hand found her favorite reading tree spot. The rough bark scratching her skin as her breathing began to calm down. A flash of memory from years ago came to mind. During her last few years in school she fell for someone she thought was nice. Until the day came he was only using her for just fun. He pretended to help and be kind to others. But inside he was beyond arrogant, selfish and a manipulator.
After that she swore never to open her heart in that way ever again. Fate however didn't seem to listen as she felt the emotions all over again, only this time for Steven. He was different yes but after what she went through, it scared her to even admit the feeling. Once in a much more calmer state she leaned against the trunk and looked up at the dusk sky. Beautiful rays of different colors came into view as they changed into a more evening canvas.
Looking out amongst the trees of the nearby forest she sighed closing her eyes while inhaling deeply before opening them up with more determination. Her feelings didn't matter. She had to make sure he made the right choice for himself. No matter if she liked the situation or not. With a bluebell flower still in hand she waked towards his home. Finding an array of lights amongst the trees as it lead her on the path to the clearing. Where he was waiting for her.
Along the way she heard faint sounds of melodies being played. Only this time it seemed to be calling out from within the forest.. to herself. Her mind going back and forth as her heart swayed like a pendulum. Her voice rising in rhythm to tell fate that she made up her mind. No matter how much it was swaying her.
No chance, no way I won't say it, no, no...
If there's a price for rotten judgement I guess I've already won that No man is worth the aggravation That's ancient history; been there, done that
 Though her words rang out, the desperation of conviction seemed less for whoever was listening and more to herself. All of a sudden it was like a loud choir was singing back to her. Trying to get her to see the other side of the matter. The matter of her own, battling heart.
Who ya think you're kiddin'? He's the Earth and heaven to ya! Try to keep it hidden Honey, we can see right through ya Girl, ya can't conceal it We know how ya feelin', who ya thinkin' of
 Yeah it was obvious her thoughts were on Steven at the moment. Especially since she was on her way to talk to him. Of course he would be on her mind. With a frown she kept walking, a bit more attitude with every stride. No chance, no way I won't say it No, no
You swoon, you sigh Why deny it? Uh-oh
It's too cliché I won't say I'm in love
(Sha-do, sha-do
Oooo-ooo-oooo)
 They seemed to mock her as her pace picked up. Wanting to get whatever was going to happen with him over as quickly as possible. Still thoughts of what haunted her memories, pained her heart still like a knife in the gut. Slowing down her pace as with every word she began to speak more of the truth that was trying to get out.
I thought my heart had learned its lesson
It feels so good when you start out
(When you started out)
My head is screaming, "Get a grip, girl, unless you're dyin' to cry your heart out!" Gripping her head she leaned against the tree to try to balance herself. Shaking herself out after a brief moment before continuing to walk with the same choice she made about it long ago. Trying not to let her emotions get ahead of her over logic. Though it felt like a loosing battle.
Oooh, noooo!
You keep on denying who you are and how you're feeling
Baby, we're not lying
Hon, we saw ya hit the ceiling
 (Oooh, noooo!)
Face it like a grown up When ya gonna own up thatcha' got, got, got it bad?
So perhaps she did find more than a friend with him. She did like him, no hiding that there. But it felt a little insulting that this magic forest was calling out her acting childish on the matter. Especially when she was trying to do the right thing and push her own feelings aside for him. No chance, now way
I won't say it
No, no
Give up, give in, shake the grin You're in love, (you're in love), you're in love, (you're in love)
 At this point it felt like she was going in circles as she turned her body around while also trying to stay on the path laid out for her by someone she held close to her heart.  Someone she wanted so badly to stay with for the rest of her life. However logic predicts there isn't any fairy tales in real life. Not like the ones in her books she found anyways of course.
You're doin' flips, read our lips, you're in love
 You're way off base, I won't say it!
(You're in love)
Get off my case
(You're in love)
I won't say I'm in love!
(I won't say it) no, no (I won't say it) Aaaaaaaaaaaaahh
 Lifting her voice to the heavens she cried out in a desperate plea for the universe to hear her. Ultimately feeling like she was loosing this struggle for the truth. With wind around her blew a bit colder as she was almost shook to her senses. Pausing to finally stop and try to reason with this being of destiny. Though the more she did think about it, the more she realized how dumb she was acting. The most she felt about letting herself love another like before, was fear.
No chance, no way
I won't say it
No, no
Give up, give in, check the grin You're in love!
(I won't say I'm in love)
The scene won't 
(you're in love!)
 play
(I won't say I'm in love)
I won't say I'm 
(you're)
in love
You're doin' flips
(I won't say I'm in love)
Read our lips, you're in love
You're way off base (I won't say I'm in love) I won't say it
Girl, don't be proud (it's okay)
Looking down at the small bluebell flower she smiled. Her words becoming less and less strong as she finally began to succumb to the emotions she felt for Steven. Reminiscing all the times they shared together. All the moments that were just theirs alone. The times they made each other laugh, the stories they read and were apart of in their own way. Every moment with him played in her mind. Her smiled bright as the words of what she was standing for previously faded away.
No chance, no way I won't say it No, no
Give up, give in, check the grin You're in love
The scene won't play I won't say I'm in love
You're in lovin', in love
Aaaaaaaahh
Even though whatever he decided was his choice, she was going to let her feelings for him grow. Her new resolve was found. Though terrified of everything, she would at the very least tell the truth not only to himself and the universe, but to her own self as well. It was time for her to stop living in this fear. Bringing the flower up to her lips and taking in it's sweet scent she sighed.
At least out loud, I won't say I'm in... (Sha-la-la-la-la, sha-la-la-la-la) Love (Sha-la-la-la-la... la, oooooh) Ah!
Upon reaching the clearing she smiled seeing Steven sitting upon a picnic blanket with a basket on one side, his guitar in the other. Taking in the view to cherish, she picked up her pace and sat down on the blanket next to him. Making him jump a bit before relaxing upon seeing it was her.
"I'm so glad you came."
"Well I wanted to know why you stuck around for the longest time." Taking in a deep breathe she gathered up all her courage to say what she was about to say. "Steven, I have to tell you something too. But you go first." She added quickly so he wouldn't think she made this all about her. Steven sighed and reached down to grab her hand in his. Looking right into her eyes.
"Connie....it's you."
"...What?" She whispered a bit warily as he smiled brightly. Her own eyes brimming with tears. Could this be what she felt for him? Was this the reason fate didn't want her to ignore her own heart?
"I...I've come to know someone who is amazing, kind, sweet, intelligent, fun loving, and oh I could go on forever. I fell for the small town young woman and watched her become my close friend over the course of two years. I fell for her.... for you. I... I love you." A few tears escaped her own as everything seemed to fall into place. All the pieces created the beautiful picture before her.  Fighting to hold back tears she smiled brightly.
"Steven... What I came to tell you was.... I love you too. I love you so much that I want you to be happy. Wherever you are. Whoever you become and whatever you do. So what you decide I will  support-" She began to ramble but his lips found her own. His arms wrapped around her back as her's laid against the front of his chest. It was a magical moment. One they let linger for what felt like an eternity.
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Tagged by @tolstoyevskywrites to put my library on shuffle and share the first ten songs! Thanks for the tag, Tol!
1) Isaac & Abraham, Joan Baez. The simple instrumentation (I think it’s a washboard and a maraca and nothing else) under Baez’s intense voice really drives home how hideous the request to murder one’s child for a god would be.
2) We Are the Crystal Gems (extended), Steven Universe. I’m not cheating, this came up in shuffle. Y’all know how important this show is to me so I’m not even sure what to say... remember that one promo where they looped Pearl’s what we really aaaare like it was super creepy?
3) Til My Head Falls Off, They Might Be Giants. There were eighty-seven advil in the bottle, now there’s thirty left! I ate forty-seven, so what happened to the other ten?? This is a great song to holler along with, which is kind of odd when it’s about aging and feeling alone and mistrustful....
4) Strawberry Gashes, Jack Off Jill. Oof. It’s a gorgeous song, but it’s a very raw look into guilt, told from the perspective of a friend who couldn’t stop someone from self-harming and eventually killing herself, so. Have a good hot cup of tea before you start listening to it.
5) Hush, Here Comes A Whizz-Bang, Oh! What a Lovely War. If you haven’t heard of this show you are in for an incredibly depressing treat-- it’s a surreal musical about WWI, made up of actual period war songs. The show doesn’t start until they find someone in the audience willing to shoot Arch Duke Ferdinand. The film is quite good too, actually.
6) Gasoline, Halsey. Do you call yourself a fuckin’ hurricane like me? This one’s haunting, fame and depression feeding into each other to create an intense depersonalization.
7) Prelude/The Ballad of Sweeney Todd, Sweeney Todd. The one that came up on shuffle was the OBC, but my favourite is actually the revival with Patti LuPone. It’s a hell of a show. (don’t talk to me about the movie; how could something costumed by Colleen Atwood betray me so thoroughly? Oh, wait, the Burton Alice movie did too....)
8) Things That Scare Me, Neko Case. Case’s voice is so melodious and eerie, and she paints incredible little pictures. The same birds that followed me to school when I was young... were they trying to tell me something? Were they telling me to run?
9) Horseshoes, Moxy Früvous. Fun fact: when we were little kids, my sister and I named ‘our band’ after a misheard lyric from this song. It’s “look straight at the coming disaster”, and we called ourselves Common Disaster. (I actually like the live version of this song better than the studio one but maybe that’s cos I listened to Live Noise a lot as a kid.)
10) One Week, Barenaked Ladies. I was confused by this song for a long time, but eventually it just clicked with me that one of the sources of conflict in the relationship is that the narrator doesn’t appear to take things seriously, and the of-topic raps are a demonstration of that, and now I love it.
So yeah! That’s what came up! I’ll tag... @yourfavouritedoll, @dollydeparted, @peachie5000, and @frogbog6 if y’all feel like it! No pressure! :D
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